#while im already here ranting im also sick of how bad my memory is

[munch-mumbles]

beginning to mald profusely at just how bad my auditory processing is

[sansy-fresh]

im just gonna rant about fic stuff for a while, disclaimer that this is not me complaining about the work load, just that i dont have the time i wish i had to work on everything lol

there’ll be spoilers, so... tread carefully

okay so comments on a certain fic recently made me consider writing a sequel for said fic, which is aggravating because now thats another fic i have in my head that i desire to work on with a vehemence that my brain wont shut up about even when im sick and should be resting

but idk i wanna talk through my plans for all the fics im working on, and what the plans are for the future, i guess??

so like, Little Fangs. should be written more often, i get that, but we’re still in the beginning stages and it probably wont be finished until late next year. basically the end game is the boys getting the surface, but its going to take a while to get there and idk im kinda overwhelmed with the ideas lol

Harried and Torn?? just fucking started it and im already deep in the background and shit for how badly im hurting these boys. it wont be finished for at least another year because that’s how fucking slow i write

then there’s Hold Myself Together, the rewrite of a 20 chapter fic that was almost finished but my own issues got in the way of me finishing it. that fic almost made me stop writing in general. but i know i could make the plot better, more cohesive, so thats what this is supposed to be, but because its more, its also going to be longer and again, overwhelmed a little lol

Garish? just started and ive already disappointed people with how ive written the time skips. but i know where its going and where the characters are headed and even how i want to write the swell bros, its just getting past the fact that ive disappointed people with it already, in three chapters of content

Bared Collar? was supposed to be 10 chapters, since it was a funded fic, but my overactive imagination and the plot i was given means that its going to be at least five chapters longer, which means i gotta figure out the plot

AND THATS THE THING i cant just sit here and plot because then i feel like ive already written the whole fic, or i get overwhelmed thinking about plotting the whole entire fic, but it would make things flow so much better if i could get myself to do it

but another fic is Weeping Softly, which i decided to start because i love spicyhoney and the idea called to me, but im a dumbass lol i love writing it but ive only written one chapter and now i feel bad writing anything else

then there’s the sequel to my Portugal fic, which, dont even get me started on the guilt involved in writing on a fic about an oc of mine instead of something someone has paid for, no matter how much i want to see more content of my son

then theres the Spicyhoney series, Bitter White Memory thats going to go full “Trapped in a Snowstorm and There’s Only One Bed” even though i already had edge sleeping in Blue’s room, dont worry just thought of how i can do it

then there’s the Four Sidebitch Fics that im almost desperate to start writing because i need some variety in my life, i need something thats solely mine to write, something that, even if im the only one that cares about it, its mine to love and cherish

which is stupid because theyre all mine to love and cherish and i dearly adore them all and damn it now im getting emotional

then there’s the fics that im writing really slowly from past years

then there’s the funded fics and oneshots and such, which im so grateful for but its a little hard spending time and effort on something, only to get zero feedback from the person who spent their money on it. makes you kinda feel like they didn’t like it?? which sucks

but yeah theres my rant

this isnt even including the stuff i want to write for other fandoms, ugh kill me

[sexxxlovemusic-blog]

Screaming.....

I really dont understand what is going through my head, because it's seriously nothing.... at all!! yet I feel like I want to cry all the time. And I come home to your arms and it all goes away. I'm going to start these stupid pills again, maybe if they make me sick my mind will understand that I'm okay and dont need them or something so I can stop having this constant war in my head. Fuck I have such a headache.... and all I want is the day to be over so I can fall asleep in your arms, even though I just woke up not to long ago.....

I just want it all to be over in my head. I wish help was more affordable. I could probably really use someone to talk to so I can get over everything from my past. I just want to be completely happy. I want my mind to just stop putting me in a dark place even though nothing is currently wrong. Everything is amazing right now, I live on my own with my one and only true love, I have a family and a job and a couple friends I can count on but dont see often enough... Yet i guess i just dont feel good enough to be a part of it all.. my mind makes me feel like a waste of space or waste of time.....

The other day I got a flower from my man, as I look at it now I feel happier and I know for a fact I am loved. And.... like I said.... everything is fine! So, why does my head hurt and not feel fine? I want it to go away!!!! I want to lift this darkness off my shoulders and just watch it disappear forever. Hmmm... maybe I've got like..... a personality disorder or some shit like that. My mind seriously takes me out of anything and just sticks me in a hole of bad and horrible things. And I can be perfectly fine the next day. And just keep jumping in and out of this hole multiple times through the week........ And I feel like I'd bother anyone if I say another word about not being happy when I truly have nothing to complain about....

So here is my rant of nothingness. Meh.... I know I reminisce about the past a little to much, yeah I miss my past friends and wish I could go back for some things to keep..... like my mom for sure is the biggest one.... And there is a big reason why these "friends" aren't in my life anymore and I just need to move on... I know that's not a healthy thing to do and I just need to keep looking at my future and stop turning back...... But my future scares me, I dont know where I'm going to end up, or how bad im going to mess up, if im going to end up with a cute family of my own, or if my kids are going to hate me, or if im even going to have kids........

Will I end up alone and be grumpy like my dad? Or will I end up traveling the world like I dream of doing and have the brightest of days? Or will life get the best of me at a young age like my mom....... It's so scary to think about.

I hate not knowing... And living in the moment is kinda a drag for me, doing the same thing every day, work, sleep, eat, clean, have sex once in a while, the most amazing sex I've ever had. Haha! But, yeah, idk, mostly the same things every day. Maybe I should get into drawing again. Or writing even... even though i am not good at them in any way shape or form. Haha. There's a reason why i almost failed every class i took ever. I want to see something new, go somewhere i haven't been.

Maybe this vacation next week, instead of going somewhere that'll make me sad, maybe we can go to something new. Granted, this place that makes me sad, it also has some of the best memories, it's my childhood, it's my family, its.......not there anymore.......

And now I'm crying...... oh how I wish it was still there..... How I wish my family reunions were still there, how I wish my man could meet all the people who are now gone forever....... The people who I truly loved most, the ones my dad got alone with, my dad doesn't like who's left as much as the ones who are gone.... I'm not close with the family that I have now. I'm the outcast and I know at least a couple who might be judging me for my decisions.... And all the people that are gone were the outcasts too...... my mom, the gay uncle who gave us the best times at the park, my.... great aunt?? I cant remember, but she was so sweet and lovable and cute and always took care of me when I fell as a kid, when she was gone, the house was gone thanks to her nasty daughter...... Then there's all the others who taught me how to play golf which is the closest thing I now have with my dad...... I'm pretty sure every single one is gone now......

I haven't seen any of them in I think over 10 years now..... sigh....... I wish I could go back and just see them all once more and give them all the biggest hug, I was just a kid back then and never got to tell them all goodbye....... I wish I could walk through our house again, play slapjack in the living room and watch the old VHS movies I'd bring every year...... I wish we could go looking for arrowheads again, and pet the horses or play horseshoes even..... listen to the heavy rains in the trailer. Or be huddled up close to everyone in the house as it hailed..... Listen to my grandpas stories again and pay better attention to them, I was the stupid child who always had headphones in while in the car so I didn't listen........or I wish I could play poker with him and my cousins again... I need to go visit him and grandma soon...... He can hardly talk or walk anymore so his stories are all with him now..... God damn.......

......There's just so much, my family was big and I took it for granted, I thought I'd have so much more time, and now it's not so much and it's going to be separated even more...... I just feel like I didn't get enough time with anyone...... I didn't get as many hugs as I wanted. And I know they are gone and there is nothing I can do.... but I wish there was...... just for a split moment even...... its just to hard for me not to think about them all...... I miss it all so much..... They need to come back.....

So hey..... that's where my head is..... I can probably keep going but this post is already long enough...... I am totally fine in the moment, but my past and my future have me in a turmoil in my mind.... there is to much I wish I could have back.... And to be with them again requires death, which I'm not quite ready for.....

I am pretty, I am strong, and everything is fine in the moment.... for the most part.. I'm gonna go cry for a while before work, then I'll pretend like I'm okay and put that fake smile on my face for the hours I am there. Then who knows..... Come home and cry some more in your arms. Or maybe I'll be okay, we shall see I guess...

I'm sorry this is such a long post. But I just needed to post something. And.... well.... this is it..... Thanks....

[leegeumhyuks]

Seventeen in Toronto Highlights (Long Post)

this is gonna be such a shit post im basically ranting bc i have a lot of seventeen feels rn (its gonna be long too)

the concert happened like 4 days ago and I’m still not over it

Okay so I live in new Brunswick so it was a 15 hour drive one way. We drove up the day before and drove home the day after.

It was tiring, but so worth it. One of the best experiences of my life(oh btw i went with a friend ^^)

(not relevant to the concert but we went to a cute Korean store called Sarah and Tom which had a MASSIVE collection of kpop albums so I bought Going Seventeen and a BTS album :) )

Alright so the concert was at a place called Massey Hall which is more like a theater than a concert stadium [lowkey looked like a place you would go to see a play or an opera or some shit]

it was a pretty small place so really no matter where you sat, you could see really well so any seat was a good seat

Me and my friend were center-balcony near the back so we had a very clear view of the stage (other than there was some tall dude in front of me so it was a bit difficult at times)

We arrived outside the venue at around 6:20 (concert started at 7) and the line to get in already went around a whole block. People were stopping to ask what was going on and apparently it made the Toronto news??

So we get in at around 6:40 and the venue is already more than half full and theyre just playing music videos and everyone was singing along

And when I say everyone was singing along i mean everyone

Honestly I only remember a few of the songs but I they played BoomBoom, Very Nice, Highlight, Healing, and Check In

I have never been happier in my entire life when every single damn person in the venue did Mingyu’s “WhhoAHHH YeaAAHHH’ part. Super. Fucking. Loud

Alright so let me tell you my dudes, It was the biggest adrenaline rush when all the lights went out and you could see the boys run out on stage in the dimness. My heart felt like it stopped.

The lights turn on and I hear Dokyum say “Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Diamond Edge” but honestly I wasnt even paying attention bc I was just so blown away

Literally my very first thought upon seeing them was “They’re not real” bc the very first person I looked at was Jeonghan and I thought he was so damn gorgeous he must be fake

He’s literal ethereal. I could go off about how good looking he is. Honestly the true visual of Svt (i swear hes not my bias)

So the very first stage was Pretty U and honestly I dont remember much bc i was too busy freaking out over the fact that I was actually there and they were actually here. I just remember everyone dancing along to Dokyums “Neoneoneoneo” part and all of us doing the “Yeppeuda” part

(they performed Beautiful right after and i really dont remember much of it other than the dance in the chorus [i have such a shit memory its mainly why im making this post before ill forget it all])

So after that they went straight into Adore U (which is my fav svt song although it probably isnt anymore after habits but ill talk about that in a bit)

Oh man if you thought I went off about Jeonghans visuals let me tell you about this mans vocals. They’re so sweet. Sweeter than honey. Jeonghans part in the chorus is my absolute favorite part of the song and it sounds 10000x better live. He just sings it so flawlessly while doing the dance and overall I was just so impressed??

Jihoon also sounded amazing but like let me just take a minute and say every single member sounded fucking perfect and flawless like if you aren’t stanning Seventeen then what are you doing

And the dances were so on point too. I didn’t notice any slip ups or anybody trippin or nothing. Like you’d think they’d show signs of fatigue or being tired bc they did two shows the few days before but they were all so hyped and gave their all in every stage and they genuinely looked like they were enjoying themselves

Anyways back to Adore U

Everyone in the crowd did the “Akkinda” part and I could see Soonyoung smiling so big bc of that like he was really happy bc of it

After Adore U finished they all lined up to do their intros and introduced themselves as a group and then did their individual intros

Most of them just did a casual “Hi I’m ___” but then you had the extra™️ members

Soonyoung got us all to chant something (im not sure what it was exactly I think it was ‘rock the beat’) and then he did his usual “What time is it??” “10 Hour 10 Minute” which honestly made my life i was hoping for him to do that (i love soonyoung sm honestly most of my favorite moments of the concert were bc of him)

Dokyum also did a thing where he got everyone to scream for him

All of their intros were great but none of them were as memorable as Jihoons for me

I know a lot of people were saying ‘He’s not that small in person’, but to me he was so small and cute and I just wanted to go and hug him bc hes so freaking adorable

So Jihoon’s kinda quiet and shy in general, we know that from variety shows and such but I saw it a lot in the concert. Like when other members were talking he just stood quietly with his hands folded and there was this one part where they all ran towards the edge of the stage and gave hearts and Jihoon like covered his face a bit and looked embarrassed 

So anyways he does like this cute little “Hi guys” and I just fucking melted right there. I made an audible “awwwww” sound that my friend was like ???

I love Jihoon so much and I will forever see him as the cute and adorable little smol (boi got a voice tho holy shit)

So they talked a bit more after that about how they walked around Toronto a bit the day before and how they were impressed with the crowd dancing along to Pretty U and Mingyu taught us a little chant where they would say “Seventeen Carat” and we would go ‘clap clap Ehhhhh’ it was weird but cute

So they went straight into Still Lonely from there and I hate my brain for not remembering most of it bc its one of my favorite songs but I just remember Minghao doing Jun’s part in the last chorus and sounding amazing honestly i want an official 13 member version of that song

So after that was Very Nice which was indeed, very nice. Dancing on point. Dino and Vernons rap were amazing and the whole audience did the “Maja” part

Also dont remember much of that stage but I definitely remember the last part bc thats the part where my son, Chan, is in the front. 10/10

Okay so I have 2 favorite performances of the night. One of which was Swimming Fool. I am such a hoe for Performance unit (considering 2 of my biases are in it) so actually every performance of theirs was my fav but Swimming Fool tho. 

That song is one of my favs and I had never seen the dance before so I was basically dying the whole time. Soonyoung’s little wiggle dance and the jumping up and down dance that Chan did. The whole dance was so cute tbh Ive been re-watching that video every day since. (if youve never seen the dance pls watch this. Not my video tho) 

Alright imma talk about Soonyoung for a minute. This boi. Was so hyper the entire concert. He  was doing his usual yelling during songs and was giggling a whole lot, I noticed. (He also dabbed like 20 times and i was like someone pls stop him)

(There was one part where he went and dabbed right in front of Jihoon and i laughed a little harder than i should have)

And I’m honestly so glad that Soonyoung was feeling great the whole time bc apparently at the Chicago(?) show he wasn’t able to perform bc he was sick so we were extremely blessed that all 13 members were well and healthy to perform for us so like thank u jesus for keeping them all safe

(I was lowkey worried about that a lot before the concert bc of when I heard Hyungwon was missing parts of the tour with MX so I was like “Lord pls let it be all 13″)

anywho so all the members went to change outfits and they played a vcr (dont remember what of tho i have such a shit memory)

So yall they did Mansae next and started out with the class chairs and Dokyum was the teacher at the blackboard it was rlly cute!! ^^ And towards the end they repeated the “MansaeMansae” part and got everyone to do the dance it was such a great time

So while the rest of the group was preparing for the next stage(i presume), Chan and Seungcheol came out, just the two of them, with a gopro and said it was the camera for “Going Seventeen” and were filming the crowd and interacting with us a bit. And then they had a dance battle (Which Dino clearly won Seungcheol didnt stand a chance against Michael Chanson)

So then everybody came out and did BoomBoom which was  incredible (every stage was amazing i feel like i shouldnt have to say it) Most of the crowd even did the shirt thing which was really fun. Chan slayed his rap (i love my son)

So after that there was another vcr and the members changed outfits again

Vocal unit came out and sang We Gonna Make It Shine and boys let me say I have never fell in love with someone vocals so much before in my life. Like I’ve always loved Jihoon’s voice bc it was unique and its got a nasally tone to it and I love it, but hearing it in person made me love it 100x more

And for a while I actually thought Jihoon wasn’t singing?? Bc he just sounded so flawless, like exactly like the recording that I thought ‘maybe hes lip singing bc his throat is bad or something’ and I’m hitting myself now for even thinking that bc really Lee Jihoon is just the most amazing vocalist I’ve ever heard Boo Seungkwan who???

So yeah Vocal unit slayed even though I’ll always like the 2014 version of that song with Soonyoung better

As soon as that song ended they went straight into Don’t Listen and omg let me talk about visuals. The stage had this whole setup with a table with some fancy ass candles on it and there was a throne that Joshua was sitting in and the lighting was really eerie and I really don’t listen to that song much but im gonna listen to it every day from now on bc damn

HipHop unit had their turn next where they did some song which I had never heard of before called “On Haeng Il Chi” and it was dope then went into Check In and once again everyone did Mingyus “ohhhhhHHh yeahH” part (glorious I tell you)

Seungcheol was serving looks the whole time bc he was wearing this black suit set and he just looked so good the whole time. Honestly Seungcheol was such a tease the whole concert and i got a look at his thighs at one point and man he thicc

Vernon was also wearing this nice green shirt and I just really liked it for some reason and I wish I had taken more pictures and videos I hate myself for not doing that

AlrIGHT Performance Unit time!!! So leadin up to the concert I thought they were gonna perform “WHO” bc it was a bonus track and I just thought they would perform it for some reason so when they were all standing there ready for the song to start, the amount of confusion on my face when OMG came on… Wasn’t disappointed tho that performance was awesome

Still would like to see a performance of WHO tho I hope they’ll do that next time

And then they did Highlight and me and my friend even switched seats so I could get a better video of it bc I love that song so much. Also leading up to the concert I knew they were going to do this song but I wasn’t sure if they were going to do 13 member version or not but I’m glad it was just the 4 of them

Oh man okay I’m gonna talk about my bias, Chan, for a second. His stage presence in every song is seriously amazing. A main reason why hes my bias is bc im a huge fan of his dancing and his dance style(and he pretty cute) and seeing him perform live was incredible. it was almost overwhelming bc I couldnt believe someone this talented existed and I was watching them in their element 

Like he put his all into the dance while still executing his raps and vocals perfectly. His voice actually does sound a bit different live, like its a bit higher than I expected but he was so on point the whole night why is he such an underrated member

Okay so the members had another outfit change after this and these outfits were straight up sinful. Not to mention the first song they performed in them was equally as sinful so I’m going to on about this performance bc this was the best performance imo. I will never forget it. It’s ingrained into my brain forever

So Crazy In Love starts. Okay so I don’t listen to this song much as far as just listening to it in my free time, but I’d seen the dance before so as soon as I heard the music, I knew we were royally fucked. I wasn’t expecting this song probably bc i forgot it existed but its my new fav song guys this performance ruined me. 

So the lights come on at the very first part and these mofos are wearing tight black skinny pants (which looked like they were leather but they werent) and red silk sparkly shirts that were tucked in. Every single member looked flawless 

(Also didn’t mention this before but all of their hair was styled so well bless the stylists. I normally prefer a more natural color for hair on idols so I was glad the colorful dye had faded and most of them just went with black or brown)

But lord have mercy when the song started. Okay Chan is my bias but I could not stop staring at Soonyoung almost the entire time - minus for Chan’s “talking about love” part (which I remember doing the dance for and screaming while doing so)

Like you get Swimming Fool Soonyoung whos all cute and playful and going “YEEEE HAWW” during the song and then you get Crazy In Love Soonyoung whos all bedroom eyes and sexy glares and just everything about the way he moves is mesmerizing (i swear. Hes NOT my bias)

So getting through the first chorus is hard enough when BOTH my bias and bias wrecker are up in front doing that provocative shit and I was so conflicted on which one to stare at but I ended up staring at Soonyoung the whole time. 

And then in the second chorus when it’s just Jeonghan doing it and both me and my friend screamed so loud ugh the outfits were so perfect for this dance i wanted to D I E

And then it gets to the Part in the song yknow the “Ooohhhhh” part where they spin around and when it was Soonyoungs part to do that by himself. I don’t even have words for how that made me feel. That image is in my mind forever. You know that meme thats like “you ever wonder whats going on in someones head?” well yeah its that for me

It’s just Soonyung doing that one dance move

okay moving on Ive talked about this enough

My I was right after and I’d never seen the dance to that either and it was really beautiful and cool like idk how to describe it. It was like a very romantic type of dance and Jun and Minghao had such great chemistry on stage together they really blew me away

OKay now imma freak out some more bc Vocal Unit performed Habits. I actually recorded this whole song so I wasn’t really paying attention to what was happening on stage bc they were all just standing there with mic stand anyways. I was enjoying the audio and their lovely vocals. (Again, Jihoon really exceeded my expectations in this song. Like for some members like Dokyum and Seungkwan I know theyre gonna sound great and its not like I didn’t for the rest but I’m just still not over how good EVERYONE sounded)

So I’m enjoying them vocals and the song ends and my friend taps on my arm and points to her face and there are actual tears. This bitch really cried. At the time I was like “during Habits of all songs??” but i was so naive now I understand(I cried 2 days later listening to that song)

Hiphop unit then did If I which I remember 0 of I think I was still too shook from Vocal Unit

I just remember their little hip thrust dance and then immediately after was a ment and Soonyoung was mimicking HH units dance and giggling like an idiot and got the whole crowd to sing and dance to If I

“Ohh Toronto. Dancing good”

Then they were all arguing over which unit’s performance suited Toronto the best but then decided that they all did

And then Soonyoung dabbed

Too many times

Everyone also dabbed with him this group is a M E S S

And then they got Jeonghan to do Aegyo so he spun around and made a heart and said “Toronto I love you!” in the cutest voice possible I swear I’m in love with Jeonghans voice

And then Wonwoo did a cute little dance to which we all chanted ‘Go Wonwoo’ for and then Soonyoung dabbed

again

(It made Jihoon cringe every time)

Then Jeonghan tried to get Seungkwan to sing something and Boo was like ‘moVING ON” but he gave in and sang a bit of Hello by adele which was really nice. Like damn the acoustics in that theater were no joke bc its a theater (i assume) made for plays and stuff and him singing without any track sounded really nice.

And then they asked my boi Chan to dance so he started singing Billie Jean by Michael Jackson and doing the hipthrust dance and Seungkwan ran over like ‘nOO”. But Chan just kept dancing and singing and having a good time and being w i l d  to which Seungcheol cracked up at. He literally fell on the floor laughing

And they kept going on about how this was a totally special stage for Toronto, “only for Toronto”

So then they went on to say they were gonna perform a very “hot” song next and my clueless ass was like ‘Don’t wanna cry?’ but naw it was ROCK which I only recorded part of bc the lighting was bad and my phone sucks

But okay I can just say that Wonwoo’s voice sounds 10x deeper in person. If you thought his rap was really deep in that song, wait until you hear it live. For a long time Wonwoo was my favorite rapper in kpop and I think hes regaining that title he was very good the whole night and I really like his deep voice

and then they did Chuck which was SO AMAZING HOLY CRAP

I love that song sm in the first place but I love it even more now upon seeing and hearing it in person. I recorded a bit of that one too and love it i watch that video like 3 times a day

So then they had another short Ment where they taught us the dance to Chuck and Soonyoung doing the “brrrr” part was so adorable I wanted to die. (I feel like Im talking about Soonyoung a lot but im just so glad he was able to perform in Toronto ilysm)

So then Vernon was like “I actually have some bad new for yall” and all the members were like ‘whaaat??’ and pretending to be shocked

So Vernon goes on: “The next song is actually the last song for the night” and Soonyoung made this fake crying noise and then dabbED LIKE 5 TIMES

That was when he went over to Jihoon and dabbed right in front of him and then was like “Oh my god our last song?”

and then Vernon being the cheeky ass that he is was like “Yeah and I really dont wanna cry about it” and then him and Soonyoung went to the back of the stage to “cry” and all the other members were “crying”

Then Vernon came back and like “I wonder what our next song is tho? Hm????” and im like really bitch

So Soonyoung yelled ‘are you ready’ a few times and then they performed Don’t Wanna Cry which was INCREDIBLE 

They were all in perfect sync like im seriously amazed. These boys probably have to practice day and night to get dances like that. It was amazing

So the boys left the stage for a bit and there was a another vcr which was of all the member explaining what carats were to them and it was really sweet and my friend cried again (she cried like 3 times that night) and I died at Jihoons bc there was this short clip of him and hes just so darn cute

so they came out again and performed Shining Diamond but were wearing casual jeans and half were wearing blue shirts and the other half were wearing pink shirts and Soonyoung looked so good in that outfit bc his shirt was tucked in in the front and his hair was just so great

anyways they all looked like they had fun performing that song and Soonyoung was yelling as usual and there was one part of the dance that was super satisfying bc all the colors of the shirts lined up and it was just really nice to look at. 

And then they performed Healing which we had special banners to hold up during. There was one part I remember bc I couldnt see bc everyone was holding their banners above their heads, but Seungcheol jumped onto Mingyus back and koala hugged him for a good minute and a half and Mingyu kept trying to get him off and Seungcheol just smiled like an idiot and latched on. Eventually he got down and then grabbed his water bottle and dumped half of it onto the people in the front(splash zone)

So once that song ended, Toronto Carats had actually prepared something special for Seventeen. So certain seats had a red board on it that you would hold up after Healing ended but only so many seats had them so it made a message in the crowd and I think it was just 2 hearts and ‘1 7′ and the members looked really surprised like Vernon and Minghao were next to each other and were like :O

Seungcheol and Jeonghan looked really shocked too, overall none of them expected it

So then the goodbye ments came and I was ready to die as soon as they started. They all said the similar kind of thing like “we had a good time we’ll come again soon ect…” 

But Minghao’s was all in english and it was the cutest damn thing i have ever heard in my life. He started out with “Today I am so happy because of our Toronto Carats energy.”

and then says the cutest shit ever: “We are like friends. We look after each other and love each other” He also kept looking over at Vernon to make sure he was saying it right

and then he said something like “we care for each other” and the fkcigingf df went “and everyone, don’t be sick. Always be happy okay?” IN LIKE THE CUTEST WAY POSSIBLE I WANTED TO SCREAM I MEAN I PROBABLY DID BUT STILL

and then I only remember Chan saying something like “We’ll be back soon, and when we are you have to promise that you’ll come to our show” and then Soonyoung and Seungcheol held out their pinkies for us to promise them and I held my pinky bc I damn promise if they come to Toronto again I will be seeing them for sure. Or I’ll try my best anyways

and they all gave us hearts and said they loved us and did a bow and then all had to leave the stage and I almost cried;;

I remember Soonyoung was the last to leave the stage bc he kept waving and saying goodbye

Also I remember a person sticking their hand out one last time and it was kind funny bc I just see this random hand pop out for like a split second. I didn’t know who it was at the time, but I later found out it was Dokyum :3

So yeah, he’s not my bias, but Soonyoung made my night

Anyways. I’m still having post-concert depression. Honestly I don’t think I’ll ever be able to listen to another seventeen song again without crying. All in all, it was one of the best nights of my life and if it wasn’t for my best friend who bought the tickets and surprised me with them and her mom who drove us up the whole long way. Highlight of my summer.