#its so fucking annoying. im so sick of having to ask everyone around me to repeat themselves all the time

[martyrbat]

so many of you talk about the cruel adults in your childhood that negatively effected you and caused lifelong insecurity yet you're still perfectly fine with being that mean stranger to any kid that has the misfortune of existing around you and thats just really gross !!!

[munch-mumbles]

beginning to mald profusely at just how bad my auditory processing is

[thestarsarebrightertonight]

get it off your chest , get it off my desk // theodore nott x fem ravenclaw reader

playlist: lavender haze - taylor swift , cruel summer - taylor swift

summary: theodore nott always tormented you , teased you. you never knew why and until now you didnt care , even harboring a small secret crush on him- but when his whole demeanor switches to that of affection and love notes. your confusion and anger becomes overwhelming.

y/n used , ravenclaw reader , fluff , comedy/cringey , bullying , theos annoying , swearing , not proofread

masterlist

"got your nose in a book again y/n, shakespeare poems? wow a romantic. its sad yknow, no wonder you dont have any friends." theodore nott smirked as he slapped the book in your hands out of them and onto the floor.

"fuck off nott she does have friends , im literally right here." your best friend - lisa turpin - sneered at the boy , throwing him the deadliest of glares.

"ah turpin didnt spot you there. not surprised i didnt spot you considering youre so irrelevant, youre practically see through." theodore looked at her coldly , his foot stomping on your book on the floor to stop you from retrieving it.

"nott , get your foot off my book!" you exclaimed , theo turning to you with a overdramatic shock.

"so she does speak! i thought you were mute or something little y/n" he laughed , all of his friends hollering behind him. it really wasnt that funny.

"we talk practically everyday because all you do is fucking harrass me!" you fumed.

"hey hey hey! dont swear sweetheart , its so unlady like!" he pretended to be offended , his smug smile betraying him.

"fuck off nott and just leave me alone, its been 5 years and im truly wonder when you will LEAVE ME ALONE!!" you emphasised the last few words , screaming at him before grabbing lisas hand and storming down the corridor.

theodore could only stare after your figure with a satisfied smile. it was obvious that theo had never been one to express his feelings well , so when he fully fell head over heals for you in first year - his immediate reaction was to bully you. ridiculous right? all of his friends think so but all of them are too afraid to tell him....well asides from pansy parkinson.

"theodore nott when will you grow a fucking pair and ask the girl out rather than tormenting her!" pansy finally snapped , for the first time in 5 years of theodores pathetic pining , she finally stood up to him and took one for the team.

upon hearing her words , theodores laughing ceased automatically , the group of slytherins behind him falling into a dead silence.

"w-....what?" theodore stuttered quietly , staring at pansy like a deer in headlights.

"you heard me nott , everyone is sick of your little big bad theodore act you put on around that poor girl! its not her fault that you cant comprehend your fucking feelings!"pansys loud shouts making the boy snap out of his daze , unforgiving anger cascading over his once shocked face.

"who the fuck do you think you are parkinson!" theodore shouted back , stepping towards the girl before blaise grabbed his arm harshly.

"yeah you're definitely not going any closer to her." blaise said sternly , squeezing harsh on theos arm , "everyone agrees with pansy mate. shes just a quiet ravenclaw- either leave her alone or man up."

"bullying her isnt doing anything nott but making the girl despise you." lorenzo said angrily before running after you and calling out your name.

this only added fuel to theodores bright flame. you and lorenzo were extremely close and he had no idea why. he hated it. and watching you stop and give lorenzo a soft smile as he wrapped his arm around you , almost made theo throw up.

"theres no point in being jealous mate. that could be you if you were just a bit nicer to her." mattheo said plainly , not very interested in theodores love life but sick of the tensions growing between lorenzo and theo because of said love life.

"youre one to talk you are horrible to all of your little toys!" theodore argued back , glaring at mattheo who only shrugged.

"yeah and im not madly in love with 'my little toys'." mattheo chuckled as theodore clenched his fist tightly.

"so what do you all suggest i do then?! ive tried leaving her alone before but it just meant she paid no attention to me-" theodore was cut off by a sarcastic draco.

"God forbid the girl youve bullied for years pays no attention to you when you finally stop bullying her."

"fuck off malfoy i dont bully her i just...tease her."

"if thats teasing then whats your definition of bullying." mattheo laughed to himself.

"can you all just piss off! help me!" theodore exclaimed in desperation , seeking the advice of his bored friends.

"start flirting with her. throw in a love note or two, girls love that mate." blaise said.

"or! how about something oh so simple - start being nice?!" pansy let out with confusion having heard the boys overcomplicate something so simple.

----

so thats exactly what theodore nott did.

the next door you stayed alert as you walked through the corridors to breakfast , preparing for water or frogs to rain down on you at any second.

so when they didnt come down and theodore nott didnt run past you cackling loudly , a small skip was put in your step and a soft smile plastered on your brightening face.

"someone bubbly today!" lorenzo said with a grin as he came up ro walk besides you , an arm wrapping around your shoulder and pulling you in close.

"sure am! im dry! like actually dry!" you grinned happily as lorenzo admired the once in a life time joy that your face held.

"what do you mean - you sound crazy?" lorenzo laughed as you only shrugged with the same smile.

"nott has usually soaked me in water or some kind of spell by now , but im actually fine! the spawn of satan is nowhere to be seen!" you left lorenzos arm to skip through the door of the great hall , the fluffy haired boy laughing behind you.

"hi everyoneee~!" you sang out softly as you sat down on the wooden bench across from lisa , luna and cho , sitting besides padma.

they all stared at you oddly , confusion laying on the furrow of their brows , "are you okay?..." chos thick accent rang out in your ears.

"im absolutely perfect, have you guys noticed anything?" you asked joyfully.

"well it certainly feels like we should have-" luna started softly before you cut her off.

"im dry! and i dont have green hair , or purple eyes and im not crying!" you beamed brightly , hugging padmas side as she hesitantly patted your back , exchanging looks of shock with the other girls.

"thats great y/n - but im confused-" lisa said as you stopped her by grabbing her hand and squeezing it excitedly.

"theodore nott has left me alone!" you shouted with happiness , gaining some judging looks from those around you, not that you cared right.

all of the girls faces relaxed with realisation letting out soft 'ooh!'s and gasps , before grinning just like you.

"this is amazing news , no more nott!" lisa cheered happily as you all laughed.

"this calls for celebration." luna stated softly , reaching into her pocket and pulling out a chocolate bar , "its muggle chocolate harry gave me. no better occasion than now to have it."

you all smiled and thanked the blonde girl as she passed out some chocolate to each out you.

you let yourself release a small sigh of contentment before a small piece of parchment landed on your empty plate.

all of you fell into an eery silence as you stared at the piece of paper , every one of you recognising the cursive writing to be theodore notts.

you gulped harshly as padma gasped , all of you silently processing the dreaded appearance of the note.

slowly and reluctantly , you grabbed the note , unfolding it in your hands.

' Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?

Thou art more lovely and more temperate: Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May, And summer’s lease hath all too short a date; Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines, And often is his gold complexion dimm'd; And every fair from fair sometime declines, By chance or nature’s changing course untrimm'd; But thy eternal summer shall not fade, Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow’st; Nor shall death brag thou wander’st in his shade, When in eternal lines to time thou grow’st:    So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,    So long lives this, and this gives life to thee. - T.N '

you released the note from your hard clutch as the words sunk in. EW!! EW EW EW. you had never gotten such a feeling of ickyness before. theodore nott has written down a shakespeare sonnet and addressed it to you?!

"i feel sick!" you let out loudly as your friends scrambled to grab the note and read it , padma rubbing your back in comfort having already read it over your shoulder.

"its not that bad y/n its...romantic.." padma said with hesitation.

"romantic?! padma , im going to throw up and ive not even had the luxury of eating my breakfast yet!!" you let out in horror.

cho , luna and lisa across from you put the paper down on the table , exchanging glances and holding back loud laughs.

"i mean...atleast its not a bucket of cold water?" cho tried to reason quietly.

----

ever since the note hit your plate , your day had been consumed by pure terror. your face pale and your eyes dazed as you soullessly walked the halls to your last lesson of the day , potions with the slytherins.

"y/n, it truly isnt so bad , ive never been sent a love note before.." padma tried to reason and leve your disgusted and angered state.

"thats great for you, i really wish i could say the same!" you shivered as you remembered the words on the parchment.

lisa and padma laughed lightly as you bit back your own laughed , standing in front of the potions door with hesitation, "got to face the devil guys, theodore nott."

"the devil that wrote down a sonnet and gave it to you!" lisa teased as your whole face twisted with disgust , shivers running through your body.

"lets get this over with." you sighed as the other two girls nodded sadly and opened the girls, both of them walking over to your usual group of tables.

you went to greet lorenzo, your usual potions partner , and pull out your chair before seeing mattheo riddle sitting in it.

"well hello summer!" he said with a teasing grin.

"my name isnt summer-" you asked with confusion before realising his reference to the sonnet, "shut up riddle and get out of my seat!"

him and lorenzo laughed before mattheo shook his head with a smug smile , "im afraid i cant do that summer , but would you look at that! theres a free seat besides theo!"

your eyes darted around the room , searching for a better alternative , but there wasnt one , the only seat was besides theo and snape could be heard storming down the hallways towards the room. snape would go off if you werent sat down upon is entry , so you simply ran to the seat besides theodore and sat down just in time.

"hi-" theo started happily before being cut off by snapes monotone voice.

"open your textbooks to page 509 , if you dont have your textbook, detention." snape stated simply as mattheo sighed , knowing he didnt have his textbook.

the whole lesson had gone on painfully slow , theodore seeming to get closer to you every minutes , his arm touching yours and his knee brushing yours under the table. you were desperate to leave this room.

so when 50 minutes later snape said how disappointed he is in your class' work and stormed out of the room , you jumped from your chair and began to pack your bag along with everyone else.

your actions were cut short , when a now standing theodore placed a note on your side of the table.

you stared at it in silence , the same cursive words spelling your name and folded parchment as this morning.

".....get this off my desk nott!" you seethed, catching the attention of lots of your remaining classmates.

"why? i wrote it for you so read it." he said , with a light blush , avoiding your eyes by packing his bag.

"either get it off your chest right here , right now - or leave me be! i dont want your stupid love notes!!" you shouted at him , the boys jaw clenching.

he swiftly turned around , so quickly and so close to you that you stumbled a few steps back , "i love you!"

the whole room fell into a deep silence , the tension thick and the harsh stares blinding.

"w.....what?!-" you asked in pure surprise , frozen and feet glued to the ground.

"i love you and i have done for ages , im just shit at showing it! blaise told me girls like love notes and i was stupid enough to believe him!" theodore let out quickly , his nervous state echoing through his rushed words.

"dont blame me-" blaise muttered before being smacked on the arm by a completely invested pansy.

"you...dont joke about stuff like that nott i knew you were horrible but this? this is fucking cruel!" you shouted at him , tears building in your eyes as you grabbed your bag and stormed out.

theodore watched in horror as you walked out , crying silently , he ran out after you abandoning his bag and leaving your fellow potions students in shock.

"that was better than the movies!" mattheo laughed loudly , breaking the silence in the room.

---

"y/n!" theo shouted after you as you stomped through the empty dungeons, desperately trying to escape to the comfort of your dorm.

"y/n!" theo shouted again, both of you beginning to fully sprint down the corridor.

"fuck off nott!" your voice broke as you shouted and ran.

though none of it was worth it as the boy grabbed your hand and pushed you to the wall in the most gentle way possible , using his hands besides your head and his body to cage you.

"let me go!" you screeched ,as the boy simply stared down at you.

"y/n whats wrong-"

"whats wrong?! WHATS WRONG?!" you screamed as he winced , "you bullied me for 5 years and now one sudden day , you love me?! and you think im going to be okay with that! who told you?!"

your last words caught the boy off guard , as he looked up from the floor and gaped at you , confused , "what do you mean who told me?-"

"that i used to have some stupid crush on you - thats why right?!" you seethed with anger as theos jaw dropped to the floor , staring at you.

"you have a crush on me-?"

"had! had a crush on you!" you said bitterly as he broke out into a grin.

"i- i dont know what to say , i had no idea." he said as your face paled.

you had just told theodore that you had a crush on him....definitely just had.

"i-...haha , i was just joking ha ha!" you forced out a fake laugh as he grinned at you , grabbing your face softly.

"im so sorry for everything i ever did to you i just...i just wanted your attention." he said quietly , looking down ashamed.

"i dont know if i can forgive you, youve made me miserable for years theodore." his eyes glassed over at your works , "but maybe i could give you a chance to change..."

he beamed with a smile reminiscent to the one you had this morning as he hugged you happily.

"i promise , ill only ever make you smile summer."

you cringed at his use of the nickname and pushed the happy boy off you , "dont get ahead of yourself , im simply giving you a second chance and - dont ever call me summer again."

[d1s1ntegrated]

shigaraki x reader oneshot

includes: angst, pent up feelings, tomura being emo af, reader being soft, pretty sfw just some kissin :3

‿︵‿︵୨˚̣̣̣͙୧ - - ୨˚̣̣̣͙୧‿︵‿︵

tomura isn't good with his emotions.

he's clingy, angsty, childish. he wants to win everything and he ignores whatever makes him human.

so when he realizes that having you around makes him feel things, he feels sick. he wonders if he's cursed, he wonders if his past is finally coming to haunt him. they way you laugh at his jokes, the softness to your voice when you speak with him, the scent of your hair as you walk past him. he's so fucking angry with you, he's so confused and hurt and doesn't understand why.

he sits across the room from you and stares. he can't peel his eyes from you. he ignores you when you ask if he's feeling alright, he just gets up and storms off. when you knock on his door a few minutes later, he slowly cracks the door and rolls his eyes. it's the last thing he needs, to see you when all he wants to do is forget you exist.

"shiggy, are you okay? you've been staring off all night. did one of us do something?" you ask him in that same pleasantly soft voice, and it hurts his head.

"i'm fine." he avoids your eyes, but stares daggers into your socks. he picks at his nails from his sides and shrugs. you can hear everyone else from the other room, laughing and yelling at each other, and wonder if you should just go back out and give tomura his space.

"i can leave, if you want. you don't seem to want company. i didn't mean to bother." you propose, but he looks you dead in the eyes now, and in the smallest voice, replies,

"don't."

"okay." you nod and close the door behind you.

"do you want to talk about it?" you ask, and he shakes his head.

"just shut up and sit." he points to his messy bed, before shoving his piles of clothes off and fixing the duvet slightly. good enough.

"...okay." you comply, and sit. you go to speak but he cuts you off.

"y/n, do you think I'm sick?" he asks, and you look at him.

"what? that's the last thing i expected you to ask." you blink at him, confused.

"aren't you scared of me?" he asks another equally as odd question. you frown.

"if i was, do you think I'd be here?" he grits his teeth.

"yes, because you're reckless and impulsive and an idiot and i hate that." he starts, his tone annoyed.

"i mean you aren't wrong, but wh-" you try to reply, but he cuts you off.

"I'm not finished. don't cut me off." he snaps, but you nod and let him continue,

"i hate that you don't care. i hate that you laugh. i hate how you clean me up and you care for us and you're always here. every time i walk out the door i expect to come back and you're gone, but you're. always. here. you just don't leave! what is wrong with you, y/n, for you to be so stupid and naive, to care for people like us. like me. you're too soft. you're too...good. to be here." his voice cracks at the end, but his words are sharp as he speaks.

you stand and face him. his breathing is heavy, his hands shaking at his sides.

"im no better than you." your answer is simple, but it gets him to look you in the eye.

"why do you stay?" he is quieter now, like what he said before drained him.

you reach out and grab his gloved hand. he doesn't protest, but he winces. you squeeze his hand twice for reassurance, and you feel his hand untense slightly.

"because i want to." he looks to your hand touching his.

"why are you touching me?" he asks shakily.

"because i want to." you rub his hand with your thumb, feeling the roughness of his palm and the soft material of the glove.

"you aren't afraid?" he asks, his sanguine eyes blown wide from the contact. its not a new thing for you to touch him, but you don't do it often. usually only to path him up, or shove him playfully. never this...intimately.

you bring yourself closer to him and brush a strand of his soft hair out of his face. he shivers at the contact and clenches his jaw.

"are you?" you ask, and he scoffs.

"it feels like slow torture." he answers, and you're close enough to feel his breath on you.

"why's that?" you look up at him, your voice low, as if you're keeping a secret.

"because i know it's gonna end." he admits. your eyebrows raise, and you lock eyes.

"it doesn't have to, tomura." the sound of you saying his name makes him swallow hard.

"don't. don't say things like that, it pisses me off, i know it's a lie, i know you'll leave eventually and i don't want to deal with that." he pleads, his hand shaking in yours. you shake your head.

"i'm not leaving. i'm not afraid of you." you whisper now, but you release his hand and just hold your gaze on him.

"y/n. don't." he hushes, as if someone's watching. but the door is closed, everyone else is drinking and shouting still, too distracted with themselves to notice either of them are gone.

"i don't think you're a monster." you say, and it's enough for him to stop caring. his anger for you, his disdain for your stubbornness, his frustrations, all fizzle out into force, and he presses himself against you, his rough lips meet yours hastily, messily. he throws all of his preconceptions out the window as he grabs your face and kisses you. the tension that stood the few inches between you before, is swallowed up in the moment, and neither of you care. the air is heavy, your mind spinning. he tastes like sour apples and smoke, and suddenly it's all you can focus on. he smells subtly of the ocean, and you feel like you're drowning. you refuse to pull away, instead, you wrap your arms around the back of his neck and allow him to consume you. his kisses are hungry, desperate even, and uncoordinated. your teeth clash together and you laugh, but he still doesn't pull away. his hands move down to wrap around your waist, his fingers trailing down your sides and grabbing and tugging whatever he can.

finally, you both pull away for a breath, and you meet his eyes. they're wide, unsure. he opens his mouth to speak, but can't find the words, so you answer his unasked question before he finds the words.

"I'm not leaving still. if that wasn't confirmation enough, we can do that again, if you aren't sure" you smile as you say it, and he nods.

"i might need to double check" he smirks, and you allow him to pull you back in, smiling to yourself as his lips plant back onto yours.

if this is how it feels to be sick, tomura never wants to recover.

‿︵‿︵୨˚̣̣̣͙୧ - - ୨˚̣̣̣͙୧‿︵‿︵

my first one-shot! be nice i lowkey suck at proof reading :3 but anyways ye enjoy some soft angsty tomu and reader, and lmk if yall want either MORE of this or others!

also im working on a full-blown fic!

i won't go into detail, but its online to irl, slow burn, kinda not enemies but two angry ppl to lovers, and its obv shiggy x reader. :) ill prob post at least snippets here, and prob on my ao3 once i have a few chapters ready to go. so stay tuned!!

thanks yall <3

[slyblonder]

Love Sick

serious bf jeno x unserious/goofy partner(based off a tweet i saw)

word count: 0.4k

“look its a heart” “can you please stop drawing in my cum and let me get up”

No one really knew how the relationship lasted so well. Two years to be exact. You and Jeno were complete opposites of each other, the kind that would clash under any circumstances. But it worked perfectly. Him being dreadfully serious and you annoying unserious. But he found your stupid jokes and unserious nature to be endearing. You couldn’t STAND serious situations, always needing to make a joke or laugh when you’re not supposed to. But thats what Jeno was for, to handle those situations. You’re unserious nature even carried on during intimate situations…

“P-please I want your mouth around me so bad.” You could listen to Jeno beg all day. You could listen to him speak in general all day. He sounds so fucking perfect. Positioned between his legs, you look up at him with a small smile. You loved teasing him until he lost him. Placing small kisses and kitten licks around his shaft, you felt him becoming more and more impatient. “fuck y/n, please please i need you so bad. I’ll cum just like this if you continue.” You couldn’t help but giggle a bit before taking him into your mouth without warning. Jeno quickly grabbed onto your hair, holding your head down for a second. “J-just like that…fuck your mouth always feels amazing.” Hearing those words definitely stroked your ego causing you to moan. Jeno was dangerously close to his climax, and you being you had a silly little plan.

You rise from Jeno and smile, stroke him as a replacement to your mouth. “I want you to cum on your stomach. I wanna lick it off.” Jeno stared at you for a second but was quickly amused at the thought. You picked up the pace, using both your hands and mouth to get him closer and closer to his release. “y/n im cumming oh my- Fuck!” There it was, Jeno cumming all over his stomach looking fucking beautiful. Now what you said wasn’t a lie, you are going to lick the cum off his stomach…but not before you rub it in and draw fun shapes on it. Before Jeno could move or say anything, you lied down between his leg and began drawing random shapes and hearts. “what are you doing? move-“ In the two years Jeno has been dating you, this has to be the oddest thing youve ever done. “look its a heart.”You say as your kicking your feet, having a blast. “can you please stop drawing in my cum and let me get up” He actually found it a little funny but ge would rather perish than let you see him laugh. “uh oh the cum controller is here.”

©️slyblonder

(first short wtv this is, please give me feedback abeg. if you like it ill give you a smooch por favor reblog🤍😞)

update:omg hello everyone thank you sm for liking this?! please feel free to ask for a story with your member/idol of choice and what kind🤍🤍😞

[avan1i]

“can i have this dance?”

warnings: a kiss on the cheek, angst, thats it i think. (hermione is not in this story btw)

lorenzo berkshire x reader

where a gryffindor who hates slytherins gets swept off her feet by one at the yule ball..

“are you guys really not going to dance at all?” i huff, exasperated.

im currently sitting down at a table with ron and harry, watching boredly as everyone dances with their partners. i’d had to go with harry to the yule ball, because i (embarrassingly) had no one else to go with.

“correct.” says ron, lazily manspreading next to me.

i roll my eyes. padma patil is also sitting with us, as she’d come with ron. bad luck for her i guess. suddenly, she’s swept off by a hufflepuff boy, who asks her to dance.

“arm, leg, im yours!” she says excitedly.

i groan, watching her leave. god, im not too fond of dancing, but anything would be better than this. i scan the large ballroom, and my eyes land on the slytherin boys. the only ones with dates are draco and blaise. the others just go with anyone they want, it gives them more freedom i suppose. then, i could’ve sworn i caught lorenzo berkshire’s eye. i brush it off, shaking my head. i mean, how could i have?

the music changes to a slow, romantic song. im just about to get up and leave to go to the bathroom to avoid the embarrassment, when ron speaks up, surprised.

“what the hell does that old git want?” he says judgmentally. i look up and follow his gaze, and see enzo berkshire walking towards us. ron’s right, what could he possibly want?

we watch cautiously, as he gradually comes closer, his stupid smirk plastered on his face. i frown at him, wondering if he’s confused or something. the slytherin boys hate our trio, and we hate them. what’s going on?? he walks up to us, and holds out his arm to me.

“can i have this dance?” he asks calmly, his lips curling into a smug smirk. i look at ron and harry, confused. they’re giving me a ‘dont you dare’ look. i mean.. its only one dance.. and i want to have a good night. the yule ball only happens once!

i take his arm, and he sweeps me away onto the dance floor. i dont bother looking back at harry and ron’s outraged expressions, i know that they hate lorenzo. my cheeks turn a light shade of pink as he grabs my waist, pulling me closer. i sling my hands over his neck, as we sway to the rhythm of the slow song.

“are you drunk?” i murmur to him. im still trying to wrap my head around the fact he’s asked me to dance, out of all these girls.

“what? no, of course not. why do you ask?” he asks, smiling slightly. gosh, sometimes i wish i could slap that smirk off his face.

“no reason.” i mutter.

after the song ends, he asks me if i want a drink. it surprises me, as i thought he’d just ditch me and go find another girl to flirt with. i excuse myself to go and ask harry and ron if they want one quickly. enzo doesnt mind, and kisses me on the cheek, before going to talk to one of his fellow slytherin mates. stunned, i turn on my heel and walk back to harry and ron.

“oh you’re finally back are you? have fun with that prat? you looked like you did.” snarled ron.

“what are you talking about? it was one dance, nothing happened!” i say, annoyed.

ron gets up, practically dragging harry with him. i run after them, furious. my heels click and clack as i walk frustratedly down the cold, uninviting hallway. suddenly, ron turns around.

“what the bloody hell do you want now?” he yells.

“why are you so fucking annoying? all i did was dance with someone, because youre too lazy to get up off your ass!” i scream at him, tears forming in my eyes. i know im ruining my makeup, but i dont care at this point.

“we all agreed that we hate them, and you just HAVE to rebel against the rules, dont you?” he spat.

“rebel? what is this, some sort of cult?!”

“im sick of this, why dont you go and get your face eaten off by that berkshire git? its all he wants from you. you’re stupid honestly, thinking he actually likes you.” he yells at me.

i stand there in shock, tears pouring down. harry and him run up the stairs, as ron mutters to harry,

“they get scary when theyre older.”

“ron, you spoiled EVERYTHING!” i yell at him. they rush off and i sit down on the stairs, yanking my shoes off, and start sobbing.

A/N: this was pretty bad im ngl, i kinda ran out of ideas at the end, so its pretty repetitive. my next post will be better i promise!

[beybaldes]

✨mr krabs i have ideas✨

festus with tanners mentor!girlfriend makes my brain tingle because there’s so much there

arachne and her being so happy they get to work together because they both got the 10s. controversially i am an arachne lover so childhood bestie!arachne is everything to me. they could never make me hate her. 😔

festus and her being there when arachne dies at the zoo and (according to book canon) walking home with clemmie and coryo after she’s taken by medics. festus proposes they all go to his apartment but when they get there he bursts into tears and mentor!girlfriend has to send clemmie and coryo on their way and ushers festus inside and stays with him.

later trying to convince festus to create an alliance between coral and tanner and festus teasingly telling her that he could think of a few ways she could convince him

her and festus being together at the arena but went their seperate ways to talk to other mentors and gather information. bombs go off and chaos ensues as they try to find each other

i have so many festus thoughts but im just going to leave this here and not be annoying

SpongeBob! You popped the fuck off with this one! (Also not annoying at all pls send me all your festus thoughts) also also sorry this took so long I finished uni for Christmas and have been in every day since oops, I really enjoyed writing this though. More festus to come ⁎⁺˳✧༚

- you and Arachne are basically siblings the way you grew up together

- I’m talking inseparable : born within two weeks of each-other and grew up as next door neighbours, walked into the academy on your first day together holding hands, sat next to each other at lunch every day, had joint birthday parties every year, etc

- no one could tear the two of you apart

- well, except a pretty determined festus creed, who laid eyes on you the second you walked into that classroom at 6 years old and knew he wanted to be your best friend instead

- Arachne, ever the social butterfly, was quick to attract a large group of friends around the two of you, which gave festus the perfect chance to get to know you better

- as the years went by you and Arachne stayed best friends, but if anyone asked you to name your closest friends, festus creed would also be on that list

- he was ever so charming, and a good listener (though only when it came to you) and when everyone seemed to move at Arachne’s beck and call, he would wait for yours to do anything

- it was sweet, in its own way, and it’s one of the things that drives the two of you to end up together

- like, obviously, festus has had a crush on you since he was a boy

- but you finally start to realise you like him back when all these little things start adding up

- he looks at you for your reaction whenever someone says something, he sits or walks or stands next to you at every chance he gets, he brings you the homework when you’re sick, he carries your bag around for you, he pulls your chair out for you in the canteen

- honestly the list goes on and on

- but the thing that finally gets the two of you together is when you and Arachne have a fight

- it had only been something stupid, but because everyone was Archane’s friend before they were yours, they take her side

you’d been sat on the steps outside the academy, eating your lunch alone in the sunshine while everyone else had gathered at your usual table. Though you knew you were still welcome there, you didn’t want to have to deal with the silent treatment from Arachne (and therefore everyone else) while she built up the courage to admit she was wrong like she always eventually did when it came to you. It was peaceful away from the noise of the canteen, and you found you didn’t mind being alone - at least, alone until the sound of someone running down the steps and right towards you, reached your ears.

Festus Creed took a seat right beside you, his lunch tray in hand and his backpack in the other. “You didn’t show up to lunch. I was worried sick.”

“Me and Arachne had a fight, a squabble really. It was literally over what we thought one of the answers were on the history of Panem homework.” Festus laughed as you did, swapping half of his orange with half of your apple slices. “She’s upset with me though, so I figured everyone would be upset with me.”

“Well, if it makes you fell any better, I think she’s upset with me now as well.” You looked at him confused; your confusion only growing as a smile curled on his lips. “I don’t think she’s too fond of the fact that I am oh so fond of you.”

you lean in and kiss him before his words can truly settle inside of you. but hours later, when they fully do, all you can think about is how you can’t wait to kiss him again sometime.

- when the reaping finally roles around, you and all your friends having to take on the role of mentors for the tributes, you and Arachne get the boy and the girl from 10 and it couldn’t be more perfect

- well, it’d be more perfect if you didn’t have to be mentors at all but, you know what I mean

- the two of you basically plan for your tributes to team up to fight against the other tributes because obviously 🙄 but all that goes awry when Arachne’s tribute kills her

your first reaction is complete stillness and silence. from the moment Arachne’s girl reaches through the bars of the zoo and stabs her right in the throat you have been completely silent. you couldn’t move, you couldn’t think, you couldn’t breath, you couldn’t scream. Total nothingness. you could only watch as Coriolanus ran forward, bravely pressing his hands against the wound in an effort to save your best friend. You didn’t even manage to get the words out to thank sweet Sejanus plinth, who dragged you to the floor and pressed you under him as peacekeepers rain bullets at the rouge tribute. Even when the gunfire stops and Arachne lies too still for a living person, even when Festus takes you from Sejanus and thanks him on your behalf, even on the walk home sandwiched between festus and Coryo, who’s hands are still covered in the thick of Arachne’s blood, you can’t seem to find the words. It’s only on the doorstep of festus’s apartment - the smell familiar and warm and welcoming - when things seem to catch up to you.

before he can even unlock the door to let you, Coriolanus, and Clemensia inside you’ve burst into hysterical tears: sobbing, gasping, wretching at the thought of what you’ve lost tonight. Festus sends Coryo and Clemmie on their way and ushers your inside, through the house and right to his bedroom, where he guides you to sit on the edge of the bed and kneels before you, hands cradling your face. “You’re okay, you’re okay sweet thing, just breathe.” His grip on your face tightens ever so slightly when you don’t seem to calm down, but it only helps to ground your more. “Breathe with me okay? You’re gonna be okay, sweet thing, it’s all gonna be okay.”

- you sit front row of her funeral beside Coriolanus and selfishly wish you had festus at your side instead

- when festus makes his way to his seat, which he finds is right behind yours, he reaches his hand between the gaps in the chairs and connects it with yours

- he holds your hand the whole way through the funeral and after, until the two of you end up in bed that night and he finally lets go to hold you fully, pressed against his chest as he cradled you to him

- when he wakes up the following morning however, it’s like he’s with an entirely different version of you

- it’s still you, but you’re cold, refusing to cry or grieve or do anything but focus on the games - all you want now is to get things over and done with

- winning doesn’t matter and you don’t really care what happens to your tribute, you just want to go home (which was concerning to you because physically, you were home)

“you need to convince Coral to partner up with Tanner.” you’re sitting at your dressing table as you to speak to Festus, him in his uniform on your bed as he waited for you to get ready to go and bond further with your tributes for the day. “He doesn’t stand a chance alone, he needs the help. Coral does, hell, I wouldn’t be surprised if they won.”

Festus only wiggled his eyebrows at you, meeting your gaze in the reflection of your mirror. “Well, sweet thing, I’m sure I could be convinced…” Festus is quickly quietened by your hairbrush smacking against his chest. “I was only saying!”

When he sees you try and smother the smile that tries to form on your face he stands from the bed, crossing the room, and wrapping his arms around your shoulders, speaking to your reflection. “Everything is going to be okay sweet thing. Trust me. In a week from now all this will be behind us and we can get on with the rest of our lives. You and me, a house somewhere in the upper city, two university degrees, other things. Whatever you want will be ours.” Your hands reached up to hold into his arms that wrapped around you, squeezing them lovingly as your stoic composure quickly dissolved. “But if what will soothe your roaring mind right now is an alliance between our tributes, then an alliance you shall have, sweet thing.”

You lean into his hold, titling your head to press a kiss to his clothed arm. “I love you, festus.” It didn’t matter that you knew he wouldn’t say it back just yet, he had always had a hard time verbalising his feelings, because you knew that he loved you, you could feel it right in this moment more then ever before.

- and then, only hours later, the trip to the arena came, and with it, the attack from the rebels

- festus had left your side for approximately 5 seconds, going to drag coral away from Tanner and the boy from 7 (who you hoped were all planning an alliance) when the first bomb went off

your ears ring with a shrill noise that only further disoriented you, your view blurry as you looked up from the rubbed floor of the arena and into the flames. the blast of the bomb from behind you had sent you flying forward, yet, you couldn’t see festus anywhere. smoke filled the room and rubble littered the floors, pieces of the ceiling and walls falling into the centre of the arena in the aftershocks.

you try and stand but your legs fail you and your arms shake with the effort you used to try and push yourself off of the floor. Rubble is falling closer and closer to you with each second, you can’t hear or see anything to anyone, let alone festus, and you’re sure that this is how you’re going to die.

just as you’re about it close your eyes and accept your fate, a shadow emerges from the ashes, running in your direction and yelling what you think is your name. it’s only when they grab you by the arms and hoist you up that you begin to see and hear properly again. “Coral.” You whisper, reaching out and caressing their face.

they seem unfazed, wrapping your arm around their shoulder and holding it against their collar bone while the other wraps tightly around your waist. “your leg is injured, so I’m going to have to drag you, okay? It might hurt.” your barley feel the pain in your leg and if you were any more conscious you might be worried about that, but right now all you can think about is how they came and saved you from the rubble. Coral could’ve ran, for freedom, to leave you for dead, for whatever. but they hadn’t, and a part of you didn’t really understand.

“you saved me.” you whispered, only loud enough for them to hear as they continued to drag you through the arena and to the exit. “what about you’re friends?”

“they’re fine.” they answered, helping you through the barricade and ever closer to safety. “so’s your little boyfriend. they all got dragged out by peacekeepers pretty quickly. we were too far in the destruction to be found as fast.”

you hear him before you see him. festus creed is calling your name in a wretched cry, sobs accentuating everything that came from his mouth. and when you catch sight of his frame, he’s being restrained by two peacekeepers, who seem to be insisting that he can’t go back in there, that’s they’ll find you but he needs to wait out here. before you can call out to him, Coral does so for you. “they need help! their leg!”

all eyes turn to you. you and the tribute from four gripping tightly onto each other, covered in ash and scrapes, hand gripping hand. it’s something festus never thought he’d see and it has him questioning everything he’s ever known. maybe the people from the districts were just like you and him. maybe everything he’d been told was wrong and it was silly to punish children, like himself, for the crimes of their fathers.

what he does know for certain is that he’s never run so fast in his life. he reaches you before the peacekeepers can and tears you from Corals hold, thanking them profusely even as peacekeepers drag them away to go with the rest of the tributes who made it out alive. he grips you with a strength you didn’t know he had, a hand cupping the back of your head and holding you tight against him. “I thought I lost you, God, I thought I lost you. I though you were…” he can’t say it, can’t bring himself to speak it out loud less he makes it come true. “All the rubble and the smoke and the fires, and when I tried to search for you they dragged me out. They told me I couldn’t go back in for you: I would’ve gone back in. I never should’ve left your side, what if you’d-“

He shakes his head, pulling you out of the safety of his hold so he can cup your face, thumbs runnings cross your tear-stained cheeks as he looks at you. “Never leave me. Not like that, not ever. Please. Promise me.”

He’s never sounded so pleading, so desperate, and he’s never wanted for anything more in his life. “I won’t, I’m sorry, I’m okay, I’m okay, I’m okay.” You’re a blubbering mess in festus’s arms, gripping to the back of his red blazer like your life depends on it. Your cries only worsen as the ringing in your ears starts to fade and you start to feel a throbbing pain in your leg. “I’m sorry. I love you, I love you.”

“I love you too, I love you too, I love you too.”

- festus follows you to the hospital and everywhere else after that

- but like seriously

- he already knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you and the attack in the arena only solidified that idea

- the hunger games are over and Lucy grey is crowned their winner within the week

- festus proposes the following morning

[hollowhearts-and-espresso]

on an outsiders kick so heres the main gang as things me and my friends have said

Soda: Your wish is my command. Be gay forever

Steve: I'm still straight but I'd fuck you now

Soda: Not that gay

--

Darry: I dont really like you. Why are you always hanging around?

Dally: I ask myself the same thing every single day

--

Pony: I know we're supposed to be saying embarrassing things about ourselves but before we talk about me i'm really upset Two-Bit didnt mention the fact that he was in love with thomas the train

Two-Bit: i watched ONE episode when i was FIVE go fuck yourself

Pony: You have a shrine by your bed

Two-Bit: irrelevant

--

Johnny: I'm not really scared of anything, no

Johnny: but cats freak me out. and so do dogs, sometimes, but mainly cats. and especially ducks. oh, and needles, and doctors in general. also loud noises, sharp objects near me, any sort of projectile, and stoves. but like, thats not that many things

Dally: I understand so much about you now

--

Pony: I'm going to write a novel and all of you are gonna have characters based off you. Any questions about it?

Two-Bit: Am I hot?

Pony: No. Next question

Darry: Am I going to regret reading this?

Pony: For sure. Next.

Johnny: Please dont make me a crybaby

Pony: You shouldnt read this. Next

Steve: Can me and Soda date?

Pony: You already are. Next

Soda: Can me and Steve not date?

Pony: Too late. You know you love him. Next

Dally: You're going to make my character really deep, arent you?

Pony: Possibly. Havent decided yet. Anything else?

Johnny: Is Dally as hot in the book as he really is?

Pony: I'll no longer be taking questions because I'm extremely uncomfortable, but on second thought, you might really like this book

--

Two-Bit, upon walking in on Steve and Soda cuddling: I leave for FIVE minutes and i'm left out of fucking everything. all the fucking time. i hate everyone in this house

Steve: Do you want to lay with us?

Soda: Yeah, come lay with us

Two-Bit, practically dropping himself on them: I'm still mad at you

--

Dally: For some reason Ponyboy is really obsessed with the idea of me being really soft inside and just not showing it so I dont get hurt. I think he wants me to be narrative foils with our other friend too

Dally: How do i tell him i'd change the narrative doom him if i could and feel no remorse without crushing that hope in him

--

Pony: I like to think its a secret but me and everyone around me knows im writing a slowburn, hes only soft to him trope, slight enemies to lovers fanfiction about Johnny and Dally in my head

Dally: the term fanfiction implies i have fans

Johnny: i'm a fan of you

Pony, whispering: they practically write it themselves

--

Dally: Here, i stole this. dont ask questions, just take it

Darry, taking the sleeping pigeon that Dally just handed him with a mildly horrified expression: where did you get this?

Dally: i told you i'd bring back souvenirs from my field trip. no more questions

--

Johnny: Not many people like me.

Johnny: its probably because im kind of a pussy, but i like to tell myself its because i'm annoying because at least then im not calling myself a pussy

Dally: Wait, wait. Who doesnt like you?

Johnny: Huh? Why does it matter?

Dally: No reason. Just, like, give me an example

Pony, in the kitchen and hears all of this: *puts the knives in the cabinet where Dally wont look for them* I dont really want to have to bail anyone out again

--

Soda, to Darry: I think Steve is kind of in love with me, but I really dont want to have to break it to him that I dont feel the same

Steve, with Soda in his lap: *stops playing with Sodas hair* What?

Soda: Nothing, baby, you're fine

Darry: I will never understand you

--

yes, one of my friends did bring a live pigeon back from a field trip. it slept a lot, and we'd hold him all the time while he slept and he'd stay asleep when we passed him around because we had to move. i hope he wasnt sick and is doing okay

[player1064]

Carra fucking off to skiing and David and Gary are immediately going all ♥ ♥ ♥ come get your man back James

So for a prompt if you still do them: Everyone is sick and tired of carraville dancing around each other but being cowards to actually do anything about it, so to get things moving Becks starts dropping hints that he might make a move on Gary.

(next time they meet gary's neck is full of hickeys and carra is very smug. they are even more insufferable than before. roy is rolling his eyes so hard he is able to see his own brain)

LOVE the idea of becks also being in on a plot to get them together. and of everyone asking becks to do it for them bc they don't want to/are too scared/lazy/dumb to do it themselves

---

“David,” says Scholesy.

“Scholesy,” says David.

“David, he’s driving me insane. I seriously cannot take it anymore.”

David doesn’t bother asking who ‘he’ is, or what he’s driving Scholesy insane about, because it’d be the same answer as it’s been for the past god knows how many years.

“I’m sure the two of them will figure it out eventually,” he offers sympathetically, to which Scholesy just groans in frustration.

“I’ll be long dead before that ‘appens.”

*

“Becks, I swear, they’re getting worse by the day.”

He and Keaney are sat with Wrighty at a little table in the media lounge at Wembley, watching Gary joke around with Carragher a few feet away. The two of them seem to be in their own little bubble, completely oblivious to the others around them. Their constant laughter is loud and annoying, especially since as far as David can tell neither of them is actually saying anything that funny.

It's kind of sweet, really.

“I think it’s sweet,” Wrighty says. “Don’t you remember how intense they both were as players? This is a massive improvement.”

“Yeah, but it’s driving me nuts! I mean, this is one thing, but it’s all the stupid little sighs and the – the longing looks, it’s enough to make you lose the will to live.”

In the past few months, David has had to listen to complaints about Gary and Carragher from every single one of his old friends from United, as well as some old England teammates that have worked with them at Sky or on The Overlap. They all seem to be under the impression that something needs to be done about it, that they can’t just let it run its natural course.

They also all seem to be in agreement that the person who needs to be doing something about it is David.

He wonders absently if it’s not too late to hand the ‘Gaz’s best friend’ card off to somebody else.

*

“So, Carragher.”

“What about him?”

Gary blinks at David from across the table, and if David didn’t know him so well he’d think he was being deliberately obtuse. Unfortunately, David does know him, well enough to know that he really is just that stupid.

He shoots him a Look, which has the desired effect of making Gary scowl at him, and then he says “nothin’, nothin’. Just noticed you two’ve been working together a lot lately.”

Gary shrugs. “He’s a good partner, to be fair. People like our dynamic. And he’s smart, though don’t tell ‘im I said that.”

“You spend much time with him outside of work?”

Gary squints, his face scrunching up in confusion. “Outside of work?” he asks, like it’s a completely foreign concept to him. Like there is no outside of work.

Which, it’s Gary, so for him there probably isn’t.

Maybe David needs to try a different approach.

*

The next time Gary is in London to cover a game with Sky, David shoots him a quick text asking dinner?, which Gary responds to with a thumbs up and the name of his hotel. Whether that’s because he wants to eat there or because he wants David to come pick him up he’s not sure, but either way he finds himself pulling up outside the Corinthia hotel that Friday evening, dressed in his smartest jeans and an unfussy old blazer.

He goes into the bar area, thinking he’ll order a drink and wait for Gary to come down, but Gary’s already there, sat at the bar with Carragher.

Perfect.

David meanders over to them, feeling slightly smug that he’s still enough to tear Gary’s attention away from Jamie, that Gary still gives him a glowy smile when he sees him approaching.

When he gets to them he shakes Jamie’s hand in greeting, pressing his other hand to the small of Gary’s back as he does so. Gary startles momentarily at the contact, but he quickly shakes it off and leans into the touch, beaming up at David.

“Becks!” he greets. “Me ‘n Carra were just catchin’ up while I was waitin’ for you to arrive. He’s stayin’ here this weekend, too, y’see.”

David notices that while Gary’s nattering away, Jamie’s eyes are fixed on where his hand is resting on Gary’s back, his lips pressed tightly together. David catches his eye and winks, giving him his prettiest smile.

He figures he might as well go all in, get the whole thing over and done with sooner rather than later, so he bends his head down to kiss the top of Gary’s head while he carries on chatting nonsense about tomorrow’s game.

The kiss stops Gary in his tracks, makes him blush a familiar shade of pink and then preen a bit, smiling up at David warmly.

Meanwhile, Jamie’s looking between the two of them like he’s ready to kill someone. Gary doesn’t spare him a second glance.

“Wha’d’ya fancy eating, Gaz?” David asks softly, pretending not to have noticed Jamie’s reaction.

“Whatever you like,” Gary says, just like he always does when the two of them go out to eat. “They’ve a pretty decent restaurant here, if you don’t fancy goin’ out. Otherwise, you prob’ly know the restaurants around London better’n I do, don’t you?”

*

David accidentally-on-purpose runs into him at the stadium the next day, and once again asks if he fancies going out for dinner.

“Erm,” Gary replies, reaching his hand up to rub at a dark patch on his neck. “I dunno, really, not sure if there’s anythin’ else Sky wants us for tonight, y’know?”

“Carragher can come too, if he wants,” David offers, rolling his eyes with a smirk at the way Gary instantly brightens.

“Oh!” he says, a blush rising up his cheeks, “oh, alright then! Think we’re both free, now that I think about it. I’ll just go check with ‘im and let you know.”

[mdhwrites]

Im sorry if im annoying, is just I really love Tmnt, specially Rise, and I also enjoy reading your analysis and stuff.

So, if is bothering you, you can delete this ask, is cool 👍

Now, my question is, character wise, like in a quick grande, idk if makes sense- IMPRESSIONS.

What would it be your first impression of the characters?

*bops you on the head* Stop apologizing. I've said before that if I had nothing to say, I'd just answer it privately. However, I LOVE discussions and I always appreciate asks so you're never annoying me with these. Please, don't worry about it so much.

As for the characters for Rise of the TMNT, I can't comment on everyone as I've only watched so much, like I have no real grasp on April yet besides liking her, but I actually want to start on the major thing that I think both allowed Rise to stand out and what made it so divisive at its inception, especially since talking about stuff like that is kind of going to bleed into what I think of the brothers. After all, I think whether you love the show or hate it, we all recognize that the brothers are very markedly different in this incarnation than literally any other, even if you can point to ones in the past for inspiration.

Most TMNT shows are MNT. Mutant. Ninja. Turtle. Those are the elements that they care about. Rise cares about TMT and goes about SHREDDING the fantasy that is the turtles as ninja. Not that they aren't ninja but like... What do ninja who TEENAGE MUTANT TURTLES like?

This actually even goes to Shredder's change which I'd never heard about before now: He's kind of a washed up loser. Again, I don't know everything but he's just as playful as the boys, he watches television, he goes on joyrides, he loses his mind when he's sick. He's not some grand wise mentor... And I get it. This is a man, going off normal canons, who lost his master, got thrown away, ended up halfway across the fucking globe and lives in a GOD DAMN SEWER. Not some pristine dojo. Not some high tech. Not even a cozy lair repurposed out of a sewer because none of that shit was around. All he had was a dank ass sewer. To say he hit rock bottom would be an understatement.

And mind you, it's not that her turned cruel because of this. He still passed on what culture he could but without stealing really expensive imports, what of his culture does he even have? He can't go to the library to check out books for the new family he wants to make. He can't buy home school programs to help him teach them. He has nothing. And he's old. He was already a man when shit went wrong for him in most canons so by the time the turtles are teenagers, he's at least fifty. Usually he's depicted as WAY older than that, like 70 or 80. Instead of that meaning he's some mystical figure, he's instead the cooky old dude who's maybe not all there all the time. That's a really neat reinterpretation of the character that's genuinely more realistic while befitting the tone of the TMNT franchise where yeah, it's still kind of cranked to eleven.

This is also your warning that I fucking love these characters.

So what about the brothers? If they aren't privileged but underground but instead genuinely stuck slumming it, what happened to them? Well, a core change seems to be not so much a want to belong, they actually don't seem that interested in being accepted by society, but a desire to covet society. To be able to watch and be a part of the concept of society. That's why they're totally at home watching a wrestling match. They aren't wishing they could be in the ring, they're just happy to be part of the crowd with the best seats in the house. They don't have to mind that they have to fight in costume, they're gonna rock it because they're in fucking costume and someone challenged you to a dance battle? You respond with a dance battle. They are MORE content with being outcasts than the turtles normally are because they live vicariously through media like many people do. This is with ONE exception that I'll get to.

I also like, just as a side note, that just because they are normal amongst mutants biologically, they still have no fucking clue what they're doing. They're genuinely caught between two worlds with double the naivety because of it and get screwed over by both halves because of it. Just a fun touch.

OKAY. Enough preamble. Let's actually go from the least to most bold changes of the brothers, at least from my perspective. I've never been huge into TMNT, just never really found a show I managed to watch consistently but I've liked most of what I've seen including the first Michael Bay Turtles movie, so I may not know how radical these alterations are or how safe they are except in a few small cases. For this though, the first one to talk about is pretty easy:

Michelangelo: *stares at how spellcheck just wrote that name* No wonder people fuck up mine. ANYWAYS, the reason I say he's the least bold is because adding artistic to your quirky, comedic heart of the group is not really so much a change as just a small pivot in trope. He's still more inclined towards recklessness, he's still the one who can broach the gaps between his brothers and he is the... Well, he is the one who is telling the most genuine jokes. Again, we'll get to him. But yeah, I like him but he's not actually that interesting to discuss, yet, for me because he is the one who is the most what you would expect.

Donatello: I bet some of you expected him to take the top slot but hear me out: I actually recently did a blog contrasting Big Bang and The Owl House for their depictions of nerds. The point of it was really to say that TOH tried to claim their nerds were some groundbreaking, brave representation but that they were 'good' nerds besides the one uncomfortable nerd who got in the way and that no one liked. The difference between a nerd who never brings up their interests at dinner unless prompted versus one who MIGHT ask "Hey, am I bothering you with this," thirty minutes into a rant about a niche issue with their favorite media that they brought up because you mentioned the wrong time. Say yes and you are going to be there the rest of the fucking night. THIS is what I see with Donatello. Donnie is usually just the tech dude and by that we mean he's conveniently the one who can spit technobabble out and fix things. He is nerdy but he'd never be someone you really question spending time with. This Donnie refuses to spend time with YOU and he will let you know it. He is the brutal honesty, amongst other things, of being autistic, alongside the fact that when they say he "Does machines" in the intro, I wouldn't be surprised if that wasn't foreshadowing him making himself a girlfriend out of his one true love. Now, that is going a little far. Donnie does love his brothers but of the three, he struggles the most to know how to deal with them in a human way, to the point where this is addressed very early on with him trying to fix what he finds most annoying about them and how that's wrong. This is not literally the opposite of normal, Mikey is usually the heart of the brothers after all, but Donnie usually gets along because he doesn't really have enough personality to clash. This Donnie has enough personality to perform a heel turn for someone taking shit from him. It's great. However, he is still the tech dude and still somewhat removed from his siblings, both of which are pretty normal even if the execution is different, so it's not as radical a change as the next two.

Now for the two that actually play into why I did all my preamble.

Raphael: I haven't gotten backstories yet but if it turns out Raph looked around himself as he was growing up and realized NO ONE was the adult, I wouldn't be surprised. He doesn't seem traumatized by this fact by any means but he does give the impression of having grown up faster than the rest. He's not just physically more than them, he's mentally more. He's taken a step they all will eventually need to follow him... But he's not going to drag them kicking and screaming with him unless they're being genuine dumbasses. I actually love EVERY part of how this comes to play out. Raph doesn't have his hotheadedness, he has something much closer to cold fury which implies he knows that he can't lose it the way old Raphs did but that anger is still there. He is the one who actually has plans and most often presents worry over how something might go wrong, or sees through the rouses set by his brothers, meaning that he's taken the role of guardian over them (which makes his power being a form of shields technically chef's kiss). HOWEVER, by contrast, he has what feels a bigger blindspot to people outside of his family when it comes to tricks, likely because he's been focused on his brothers for long enough that he has become more naive than even many of the others of the world outside their home. This is probably why he has some of the bigger hero worship amongst them, especially since he's trying to live up to nobler ideas, or at least more adult ideals. That's ironic due to-

Leonardo: The choice to give him the voice Randy Cunningham is pitch perfect casting. This is EASILY the biggest and most jarring change but for the me the most welcome. Leo was never really a straight man from what I could tell comedically, Raph or Donnie usually did more of that, but instead was meant to be the rock of the group. Instead, he just came off as many bad adventure leaders: No personality. He's a nice enough guy and he's good at what he does but that's what you say about your mailman, not the leader of your ensemble cast.

This Leo is anything but this. He does not covet society, he wishes for society to covet him. He has taken celebrity worship to its natural conclusion of wanting to be a celebrity at all costs. He sees himself as the hottest shit out there and you bet your buns he's going to let you know it. He will do anything for recognition which is hardly surprising for a kid who grew up in the sewers watching stuff like Kung Fu movies. He wants to be that level of awesome and you better believe he knows the phrase "Fake it till you make it." Of course, he doesn't think he's faking it which makes when he gets punched in the face all the more satisfying. But... This does come with some wrinkles. He does not look upon the world favorably. If Raph is too innocent, he's cynical. Everything is quid pro quo. If you show him why you're giving him praise, even if it's shallow or a lie, he'll believe you because he is easily manipulated but you show him nothing? You say you JUST want to help without even being family? Yeah that doesn't fly because it's not what he would do, often times even with his own family. It makes for an interesting version of awareness. All of this does beg a simple question though: Is there any connective tissue between old Leo and new one? Is this like Teen Titans Go where they entirely scrapped the old character just to make him some shit eating idiot?

Confidence, wit, and spirit. Raph's greatest problems as a leader is that he isn't quick on his feet, he can't get people to listen to him and when he does have a plan, he doesn't have as much confidence as he needs to make sure everyone follows it. Leo genuinely has everything and than what Raph has a leader. He is smart, that's why he's a snarky bastard. He's confident to an extreme fault but that means when he pitches you an idea, it sounds legit just because of how much he seems to believe in it. And hey, even after he gets punched, he gets back up. He will make you say he is the best or die trying (which from my understanding is essentially the fuck up he makes at the beginning of the movie but with nobler intentions). He is missing two key components from being a genuinely great leader and ninja. The ability to see outside of himself and maturity. He needs to grow up and remember there's no I in team. That it doesn't matter who got the final hit, what matters is that the job was accomplished at all. He needs to stop wanting to be a celebrity, an icon to worship and trudge behind, and instead be a leader who is shoulder to shoulder to you. Who says that anything he'd ask of you, he'd ask of himself.

That is a fucking INCREDIBLE pitch for your main character as a starting point. All the things he needs but a radical wake up call that will force some HARD change if he wants to realize his real potential. Even better, his real potential is what he wants to be seen as, just that so long as the image is what he cares about, he'll never be what he wants to be. It's pitch god damn perfect and the fact that he is a delightful asshole who gets everything he deserves coming to him, constantly, from all angles, while he works on himself makes for a very entertaining character even as you wait for this arc to potentially happen. He is a good cartoon character either way and not everyone call pull that off.

In fact, even the most shallow of them makes for someone who you know will at least make you smirk if you give them eleven minutes. To me, that's a pretty good sign for a good character if one of your main goals is to entertain. And man... These turtles are entertaining. See you next tale.

======++++++======

Also, small note: I finally hit 200 followers! And I'm announcing this on a blog most of them probably aren't going to read. XD

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

[cherryy-slushy]

I WILL NEVER FALL IN LOVE AGAIN- Jason Dean x Reader

TW: Violence, cheating, abuse (alcohol related), smut?, alcohol, drugging, using (using a person for something), bad mental health. (Also I may change to personal pronouns halfway through I apologise in advance.)

(I forgot to add in part 1 that this is set in current time LMAO sorry lads and that the way I’m imagining this is Jamie muscatos JD) Also I’m sorry if these are really short and not very well written 😭 Only experience I have with writing is essay writing when I was in secondary school… AND IF I ACCIDENTALLY SAY “mam” OR “lads” ITS BECAUSE IM IRISH AND I TEXT LIKE THAT SO ITS A HABIT SORRY 💀

Part 3

Part 2!

What did I really expect? That the super hot guy would completely ignore the pretty popular girl and go for a complete nobody like me? Pfft, don’t make me laugh. Veronica is gorgeous and I’m just bland. She’s popular and bubbly and I have like 4 friends and boring. She goes to party’s. I stay home and watch horror movies all night. Why am I surprised he likes her more? What I’m trying to say is IM JEALOUS. IM SO JEALOUS OF THAT GIRL. SHE WENT FROM LOSER TO LOVER ITS NOT FAIR.

After I left JD in the English classroom with Veronica I felt sick. Sick to my stomach. Like somebody just punched me in the gut and ripped it out.

I walked down the halls highly aware of everyone around me. I felt weird. Different. This can’t be normal. He’s just a teenage boy that I spoke to for half an hour.

A few seconds later I heard my name get called.

“Y/N!”

I looked back and saw half of my friend group waving me over.

We spoke for a bit before rushing off to 2nd period.

The class went by quick and next thing I knew I was sat at a table with my friend group in the cafeteria.

I was talking to my friend, Erica, and then heard obnoxiously loud laughing.

I turned to see who was making the annoying noise and was not surprised when I saw the 3 heathers and Veronica sat at the table watching Martha dunnstock open a letter and read it. The poor girl goes through hell because of them.

I watched as Martha got up and walked towards Ram Sweeney with the note in her hand. But before she got there Veronica swooped in front of her and started talking to her.

At least the girl has some sort of heart.

Martha then walked past Kurt and Rams table after a few minutes of talking to Veronica. The heathers were not happy.

I watch Veronica start to walk across the cafeteria back to the heathers.

Just then, when I turned around, I was greeted to J.D stood next to me at the side of my table.

“Hey”, he said with a small smile.

“Oh hey, how’s your first day going”, I replied politely with a small smile.

I seemed normal but inside I was screaming and felt like I was about to go bright red.

He was talking to me! He came to me instead of going over to attempt to get Veronica’s attention! Ohmigod Ohmigod OHMIGOD!

“It’s not too bad”, he said.

His gaze then slipped from me to somewhere else in the caf.

I looked to see where.

Of course, sawyer. It was so good to be true hey?

“Hey, what’s sawyers deal? Is she single?”, he asked.

I have two options.

I tell him the truth that Veronica’s single or..

I say she’s either dating someone or simply that I’m pretty sure she’s gay.

Ima go with the gay.

“Oh yeah I think she’s a lesbian”, I say trying to hide the giggle that’s trying to force its way out.

“Oh, right. That’s cool”, he says, clearly faking a smile.

I could tell her was disappointed but it’s giving me a chance I guess.

“Ya wanna sit here? There’s definitely enough room for you to sit here”, I say patting the bench next to me after moving up the bench a good bit.

“Oh, yeah sure”, he says with a tight smile.

I introduced him to my friends and then we went to talking about ms Fleming and her random bursts of energy in class.

Before I knew it the bell rang.

Fuck I have German.

“What’s your next class”, JD asked.

“German”, I said with a groan.

“Well it’s your lucky day because I have German too”, he smiles with a wink.

“Oh my god. Thank Jesus. Let’s go before Ms.Macy shits herself”.

I grab him and walk out of the cafeteria before Veronica can see him.

We spent the whole next class talking about movies.

Horror movies come up in the conversation.

“I can’t handle horror movies well”, I whisper to him.

“Awh come on they’re not that bad”, he whispers back with a breathy laugh.

“How bout after school today we go to my house and we watch one. Sound good?”, he asked.

IS THIS A DATE? No. You’re getting ahead of yourself Y/N calm down.

“Yeah I’m down. My moms working till pretty late anyways she won’t mind”, I say.

“Cool”, he replies with a smile.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The school day past quicker than I expected. And next thing I knew I was sat on the back of JDs motorbike. I looked around me. He hadn’t started to drive yet.

“You feel safe enough there?”, he asked.

“I guess..”, I said shifting myself a bit.

“Wrap your arms around my torso when we start driving. And grab on tight”, he said looking back at me with a smile. He gave me a helmet.

“What about you? Aren’t you gonna wear one?”, I asked.

“No. I’m fine. I never wear it”, he said.

I gave a breathy laugh in reply.

In the corner of my eye I could see Veronica staring over. I looked at her and gave her a wave (just to be petty) but made it look real.

She gave a tight smile and waved back.

“Get ready”, he said booting up the bike.

I wrapped myself around him. Tight.

I smiled against his back. It’s not creepy right?

We drove through town really fast and ended up at his house.

I texted my mom to let her know I’d be home later today.

Hopefully she’s in bed when I get home.. I cant put up with her on Friday nights.

[swearingcactus]

i have GOT to know the story behind the nibbles fic

oh boy, the nibbles fic is not as happy as it sounds :') it features what i imagine is the canon events after dont fear the reaper for lil V. the fic basically follows him while people around him are poking him about Mikoshi and what happened, while he goes 'cant talk rn, my cat ran off, im busy trying to find my cat, stop asking me about what happened and if i'm fine, i need to find MY CAT.' important to note she ran off because he did this:

He jumped when he heard a loud, angry yowl. V propped himself up with his elbows, by reflex, looking at the direction of the noise. It was Nibbles, staring at him disapprovingly, pawing at her bowl. It’s empty. “Fuck,” V says, voice completely wrecked. He cleared his throat, sniffled and got out of bed. He cringed as his feet hit the cold tiles and pinpricks traveled to his thighs, “Sorry, Nibbs.” He walked over to where he keeps her canned food– nothing. Right, he asked Misty to feed Nibbles when he was at Vik’s. She must’ve used it all up. V sighed and took his barely-eaten burrito, puts it gently on her bowl, “I’ll get you your tuna and NiCola tomorrow morning, okay?” He goes back to the bed, plops himself down, facing his apartment instead of the cubicle’s wall. He watches as Nibbles sniffs the food experimentally. She looked up at him, and with direct eye contact, swatted the entire food bowl. It tosses upwards, throwing the burrito to the floor along with its bits. “Nibbles!” V scolded her, pushing himself up to sit, “Why would you–” Nibbles let out an annoyed mrow, it was obvious why she had done what she did. V groans, drags his hands down his face. “You are so spoiled. What would you do if I’m not around? Who’re you gonna get to pour you tuna and NiCola, huh?” Someone had. Nibbles had been completely fine without him before he took her in. And it was supposed to be a joke, a little accusing jab, but his tone hadn’t been light at all, and for some reason he continued with, “Yeah you’d be just fine without me, wouldn’t you? Like it doesn’t even fucking matter the things I’ve done, the things we’ve been through, like it doesn’t mean jackshit that I’d be the one here, still fucking dying–” his voice cracked and V is sick and tired of crying so he stands up instead, throws his pillow violently behind him. He stomps towards the burrito, puts the mess back onto the bowl, tosses it so hard it clangs angrily on the floor tiles. Nibbles went into a defensive position, hissed and ran off to hide somewhere. “You don’t wanna eat that? FINE! SEE IF I CARE! Starve–” he yelled out angrily before he realized what he’s doing and what he’s saying. V takes a short breath in, swallowing thickly. He hung his head in guilt, “Fuck.” he whispers, the fight leaving him instantly, and he’s back to feeling sore and tired.

yeah, lil v's not so happy in this one, he's hardly happy ever since mikoshi honestly, and now suddenly it's everyone's problem :') ty for asking!

[weirdcat1213]

AJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJ HAPPY DAYS AJJAJAJAJA :D YEY TRIGUN BOOKCLUB :D

THOUGHTS :D

chap 1:

-happy days and everything is going to shit...yeap thats trigun

-i just noticed they have separated rooms and that makes me sad for some reason

-i love to see that rem was nice to everyone but was also getting annoyed by that guy, shes not perfect and I LOVE HER

-ngl, im not sure if the other guys did something

-its so cool to see the scientists joking around for a bit but then getting to see them in silence cuz IT IS a weird situation to be in. you are alone in space and something happened "on its own"..... It makes the situation more serious

-LMAO HER FACE I LOVE HER SM

-it hasnt even been that expanded in 98 (im sorry for the spoiler ig) or stampede (YET), but rem is so funny. shes more than a living saint and im glad we get to see more of her here. shes the only mom ever

-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO RIGHT

-also i thought knives *fixed* the thing, i forgot he caused it lmao

-arent they adorable? :3 pls dont touch them :3

-"it could end in disaster" you dont say....you dont say....

-NOT THEM SAYING YES IMMEDIATELY I WILL CRY

-BABY KNIVES WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU (ik what happened to him)

-"if you can love someone with all your heart then its alright".........im gonna take so time to think about that cuz....yeah, i guess thats true isnt it?

-oh that doesnt age wel...not even story wise but life wise....if we could only talk with each other

-ok so...is that a fucking ghost? and if it is, did she really appear when knives's faith in humanity was at its peak? really :c?

-OH ITS MY TIME TO GET SICK :D

-OK NO THATS SO INTERESTING CUZ HERE IS VASH WHO IS CURIOUS ABOUT TESLA AND WANTS TO READ THE REPORT BUT IN STAMPEDE (spoilers coming im sorry) IS KNIVES WHO WANTS TO READ IT. DID HE LOSE THIS FAITH *WAY EARLIER* THAN TRIMAX KNIVES??? HOW TF IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE?????

-great....scientific....discovery.....you say......... so the scientists were ready for another tesla situation....

-pls no pls no pls no. you teach her how to speak and then you do that shit. stop

-by looking at the pictures and descriptions we can say that the scans began on her 13th day of life (multiple scans as the chapter mentions), and 87 DAYS LATER they started to ask themselves if that was correct to do from a moral standpoint...87 days. and just after they started to question themselves she started dying. just 10 days later...fuck

-"we have no desire to rest" WHAT ABOUT YOUR "SUBJECT" THO ASSHOLES

-its never not gonna make me sick how they killed a child in 100 days. thats all it took.

-ajjjj :c im fucking sick

chap 2:

-same vash same

-ily rem but no, thats too fucked up to forgive

-knives, my poor baby :c

-"i wish i could cut myself from everything too" oh mood, i mean what

-ok but rem trying to pick vash up and he refusing has to be so fucking heartbreaking for rem cuz thats her fucking child no matter what

-imagine your child who loved you so much rejecting you like that. i would literally shatter

-"you can continue the experiments with us" vash stfu i swear. catch me actually crying over that line btw im not ok

-INTERESTING how rem says she felt powerless (and i get why) but during the whole thing the crew had so much power over her life

-it fucks me up this is a one year old trying to die of starvation. yeah he looks older and etc etc but hes still less than 2 years old. life is pain. why nightow.

-also idk if im interpreting the panel right but i think he *was* going to eat but saw rem in his room so he stopped

-or are those different days? idk

-alright, today you are eating you sick son of a bitch :]

-NO STOP THAT YOU FUCKING CHILD

-the panel being blurry on purpose, 10/10

-hes sitting the same way rem did- oh im ending it all

-i feel kinda weird saying this but i just fucking love that story: the metaphor, how she tells it. it really feels like a parent trying to teach a kid something. its sad but feels comfy. i could literally read/listen to her telling that story of the train in her dreams over and over

-[pause for crying]

-its "separated ways" cuz that talk with rem lowkey divided rem i think. knives would be way different if he had heard what rem said. damn it why did he had to faint

chap 3

-"king of loneliness" pls i want to stop crying

-i know he didnt block the memory, i feel it

-yey creepy knives is here....yeyyy....

-amazing transition btw, gives me the yibbies every time

-HES RIGHT THO MF, YOU ARE AFRAID

-why he looks so cool while being creepy stop it knives stop it

-idk if im understanding it right, but i think knives did the thing he did in the first chapter but for all ships. it comes full circle

-god i hate when hes right

-im sad to say he looks beautiful and epic. also for the life of me i could not say if that plant agreed with him or not

-yknow what i think she didnt agree to that

-age of chaos wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii :D

[i took a one day break cuz the volume made me too sad BUT IM BACK BABY]

chap 4

-yeah ig my baby has been to so many funerals if you think about it

-YEAH TO THE RESCUEEEEE

-wolfwood: you dont wanna mess with this guy he will break you

the guy in question: :c

-aw his cute little and stupid face :3

-i love to see vash having a good time :') god he needed that

-oh man we're getting sad again

-also yes they take those people who did whatever they did but the bartender is also taking vash in, even the demons get to drink there huh, nice

-why tf is this guy so wise, why is he saying what vash (kinda) needs to hear? amazing, im devastated

-wait so the feathers or whatever hurt??? because of the face he made. SO DOES IT HURT???? NO :C

-knives can you not-

-ITS HIM IN ALL OF HIS FUCKED UP GLORY :D

-SHUT UP VASH, GEESUS

-the final panel its so cute and then there's the fucking speech bubble that says "dumbass" its true tho xd

chap 5

-NOT THE FUCKING FEATHER i dont want to go there

-he looks so tired :c

-oh shit i forgot about that panel of his face wth

-OH SHIT WOLFWOOD NO

-OH THATS CREEPY AS HELL YO WHAT

-"the last thing i want to do is be a burden to him" STFU WOLFWOOD AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

-SHES HERE OH SHIT OH SHIT

-"youre the one who needs to be careful" I WILL CHEW GLASS

-FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

-OH GOD OH NO ITS HIM GET OUTTTT

-elendira ily sm

-thank you wolfwood for saying trans rights lmao

-HES ASLEEP. KILL HIM VASH KILL HIM

-oh no his glasses :c

-ah fuck hes awake noooooooooooo

chap 6

-LEGATO IN THE METAL HANDBAG :D WHAT WILL HE DO

-dont you bring tesla into this >:[

-idk whats happening but KILL HIM

-*sigh* i hate when knives is right

-DONT YOU DARE SAY THAT AFTER STAMPEDE MF :C "if they come for us lets just run as fast as we can" YOU ARE MAKING IT SO HARD TO READ THIS MAN

-also yey he regained his eye :3

-:cccccccccccccccccccccc im so happy that talk was in stampede

-also yeah vash hates knives with a burning passion but EVEN THEN he still was willing to give him a chance and live together with him, i cant do this anymore really

-im picturing legato kind of jumping in his metal handbag to move around as if he was in a sleeping bag cuz i think thats way funnier lmao

-:cccccccccc vash pls

-ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh :c his armmmm

-oh geesus oh god no OH HELL NO

-ohhhhh i see. look at legato being useful lmao /J

-THE ARK IS HERE WOOP WOOP

well that was certainly a volume

[poryphoria]

iiuuugghthgghhrgghhh vent post ig. don't look under the cut if u don't feel like it lol

i feel like im going actually fucking insane i despise my own relationship with romance and romantic feelings so badly. i don't want to be in a traditional, binary relationship, ive tried it so many times and it just leaves me feeling scared and cagey and exhausted. but at the same time i want it theoretically- i want to be wanted, i want to be somebody's person, i just. nbhghhjjjffffkjkkkk. im so sick of feeling othered literally everywhere i go, i don't fit in with any fucking group no matter how hard i try, i feel like im just always stuck on the surface while everyone else is magically able toget deeper and it hurts so bad and its tearing me the fuck up inside

i hate being jealous, i hate being an envious person more than literally fucking anything i genuinely fucking feel like i am losing it. because this pattern of thought won't leave me th fuck alone and i can't do anything about it, i cant fucking satisfy my own brain or figure out what it is that will calm it down. i don't know what to do. people are scared of me, they don't know how to talk to me and i don't know how to be approachable. i feel like im fucking dying. this is a legitimate cry for help because i don't know what the fuck else to do and im so tired and helpless, i just want love, i just want to be told im loved without having to ask for it, i want to be in on shit for once and not just sitting on the outside playing with shit in the corner. it hurts so much im so sick of it hurting

and i have such cripplingly bad object permanency when it comes to like, knowing that i am cared about. the second people stop talking to me im just like Oh wait am i no longer loved? and it makes me feel fucking insane it makes me feel like a fucking nuisance, a baby that has to be constantly tended to or itll fucking explode from neglect. i don't want people to feel forced to be around me because ill start coughing up blood if they aren't. i don't want to be this fucking confused and annoying and hypersensitive about all this shit!!!! for fucks sakes i just want to be normal!!!! i just want to understand what my own brain wants from me!!!!!

it's also like 8 in the morning and i haven't slept yet so god i don't fucking know maybe that has something to do with it. whatever. Im so fucking tired

[natto-axolotl]

choose violence ask game. hollow knight

hi nonnie!!! unfortunately the last time i was super into HK was 2021 but i will try.

the character everyone gets wrong: lurien. he gets watered down into a pk fanboy almost every time i see him.

a compelling argument for why your fave would never top or bottom: never ever thought about this, never ever will

screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr: not going to go into detail bc everyone's moved on and it was bad but it was a lot of weird discourse that happened a couple years back

what was the last straw that made you finally block that annoying person?: discourse.

worst discord server and why: this is personal beef, but the daily HK server that imploded from surpassing the Users Prone To Discourse threshold in horrific flaming fashion. it's been literally almost 3 years though so we're all good.

which ship fans are the most annoying?: anything with grimm. terribly sorry this is not a particularly romance-inclined fandom and i cannot think about them being in love in canon

what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them?: grimm. sorry.

common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about: I haven't been keeping up with this fandom at all lately so i really dont know WJBDEJDBEN HAHA

worst part of canon: there's nothing i really don't like about the game :D

worst part of fanon: I don't reaaaally like the intense babying of pv and ghost in post canon "everyone lived" fics. let them have agency man.

number of fandom-related words you've filtered: none!!!

the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them: lurien!!! this is because i briefly ran an rp blog as him, but also because i think it's interesting to think about what would've brought a character like him to be so devoted to pk's cause, and what kind of person he was when hollownest was in the prime of its life. funny towel man.

worst blorboficiation: grimm. SORRY SORRY SORRY

that one thing you see in fics all the time: strangely contrived prose to refer to the body language of all the characters. i get it but Why

that one thing you see in fanart all the time: ghost being drawn with other indie protags. little baby is officia delegate of hollow knight.

you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc): everyone loves memeing on pale king as being a guy willing to kill his own babies to save his kingdom but i genuinely want some exploration of him beyond just a surface level flanderizing "lol. lmao he threw his kids off a cliff" joke. Hupis Incarnate

there should be more of this type of fic/art: i love gijinkas/humanizations esp modern day gijinkas never stop making gijinka content. also anything to do with the radiance. i love the radiance.

it's absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on...: CORNIFER AND ISELDA AND THE FIVE KNIGHTS AND (hk fixation kicks back in 2 years layer)

you're mad/ashamed/horrified you actually kind of like...: lace/hornet. we don't even know the BACKSTORY. but do you think yuri can bloom on the battlefield.

part of canon you found tedious or boring: actually have never played HK lol

part of canon you think is overhyped: like 40% of the grimm troupe expansion. it's cool but the fanbase latched on too hard.

your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores: KINGDOM'S EDGE AND EVERYTHING ABOUT MONOMON AND THE SIMPLE FRAMING OF THE INSTRUCTIONS AS BEING FOR HIGHER BEINGS. LIKE WHAT THE FUCK.

ship you've unwillingly come around to: lemmquirrel, i see it and im like "neat! middle aged bug yaoi and the aimlessness of a quest to reacquaint yourself with purpose! i haven't read sbabl ever!"

topic that brings up the most rancid discourse: (stares at camera) Shipping.

common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing: when silksong (me too. but give them some time.)

[milkeyrainbow]

Why can’t I just ask for help, a talk about how fucked my thoughts are…

Why my face brightens up and that fucking smile won’t come off each time I’m asked if I’m alright I automatically say “ Always and it’s wonderful “ while tightening my fists inside my pockets distracting my head from my scars that won’t stop itching and reminding me how much my skin carves more and it might be wonderful if I feed it my blood…

WHY IT TAKES HOURS TO GET MYSELF TOGETHER AFTER MENTAL BREAKDOWN AND DAYS OF GUILT, DISAPPOINTMENT, SELF DISGUST THEN ANGER TILL I RAGE HARMING AND START A CIRCLE OF ALIENATION.

And when it hits at work or in public, I might just… disappear for a moment and be back within blink of an eye👁️ no pain, no thoughts, no regrets, just more LIES AND THAT FAKE HAPPINESS AND PLAY PRETENDING THAT I CARE ABOUT EVERYONE AROUND… So I can burn down mentally, drain myself from every little positivity hidden inside me, come back home hoping that it’s the last trip of my life…

Realise what I’ve done to myself; just a little scratch to ground my thoughts and irritating itching, will be gone by tomorrow…- It won’t be gone, because it wasn’t just a “scratch” never was, never will be, just dirty, deep, trench dug deep under my skin that should be cleaned and stitched up or at least sealed tightly…

And the circle is closing… How could I let it happen? Why didn’t I just tell someone I’m not fine? I’m sure it was just a mark but.. I don’t even know anymore…

Now I’m sitting on the bathroom floor gazing into nothing, I hear the whispers, random conversation between people I care about, I know… I’m alone, nobody knows about my pretty little shiny mask I just wore crashing and falling into pieces… “ I forgot my prescription pills again… Well it ain’t helping shit” thinking that maybe the voices ain’t real but they’re right, I know- I am a fucking monster, I’m a lier, I’m useless, waste of air, a piece of flesh with no soul, IM NEVER ENOUGH, that’s why my father died, my grandparents, my friends, my dog- the only sunshine I’ve had left my childhood loyal friend, baby, reason I’m alive… GONE… I should join them… NO I SHOULD BREATHE AND GET THESE FUCKING PILLS all of them at once JUST ONE PLEASE ye one for each voice that’s getting louder and one for each death you caused I CANT BREATH I CANT THINK ITS TOO LOUD!

It’s cold I’m shivering on a bathroom floor, I’m naked and there’s blood all over me, my head hurts, I need something for that headache, I need to take pills and iron tablets… I don’t want to look, I don’t want to know, just lukewarm bubble bath… it burns, I don’t care anymore, I failed myself again, the weight and sick fear against myself crushes me down, I won’t be able to wash it off, NHS… well… pills might calm down vocal hallucinations but won’t calm down my thoughts and physical sickness I’ll carry with me for the next couple of weeks…antipsychotics and sleeping tablets are addictive so I’ve been told to go for a evening walk before going to bed *Qualified staff* NHS and my doctors didn’t stand even close to “qualified people” but I’ll take an advice…

And here I am, on the edge of a trespass bridge above M25, smoking cigarette and fantasising about death, the “ easy way out” I feel it, I’m waiting for that slight impulse that will take me to nothingness. TODAY IS THE DAY FUCK THAT SHIT!

“RAINBOW!” I hear my coworker in a distance, it has to be a pisstake mate! “ Are you alright? What are you doing here?” Annoying voice continues like a painful static in your brain. “Always, wonderful! Living the dream, ain’t mine but still, having evening walk advised, fresh air fresh mind, getting ready for tomorrow, it’s Monday innit” I feel my insides collapse, turning my stomach upside down each time I hear those words my mouth spits out without any consent… I’m scared, I don’t want to go through that again… If there’s God please have mercy…. My eyes are filling up with a single teardrop it managed to produce in the past two months as I walk off the trespass next to my colleague- She talks about some sort of inspection and a visit from higher management. I hear my voice, I can’t distinguish the words… I’m laughing and jumping from excitement… it feel like a movie but instead of being cosy and munching popcorn I’m hyperventilating and whining silently while shattered, sharp pieces of the mask that broke in the bathroom last night comes back piece by piece piercing violently my pale face, like little lightweight, mist-like raindrops when falling on your face in November evening as you gaze into the universe admiring its creations before the dark clouds will take it all away from you and the darkness will embrace you promising the sunlight in the morning…

My raindrops are made from glass and pins and razor blades, and it’s not like a mist, more like heavy rainstorm hitting your face as you speed 200m/ph with nothing protecting you from cruelty and reality of human trauma, mental illnesses, loneliness, worst fears, helplessness and lack of empathy and understanding… fear of rejection… No reason that keeps you alive, reason I’ve been looking for every single day, one point proving I me there is something… Everything loses its meaning, once your skin and flesh had turn into nothing and all the pieces that caused you so much pain drill into your skull… it turns into a new face, your one doesn’t matter anymore, nobody seen the real face why would they care, all THEY know is that shining smile, bright face that cares only about others, always happy and ready to cheer everyone around up! THIS IS THE FACE YOU DREAMT ABOUT! CONGRATULATIONS NOW EVERYONE KNOW YOU AS SOMEBODY THAT YOU WILL NEVER BE! IT WILL AFFECT YOUR ACTIONS TOO!

MAKE FRIENDS YOU WONT LIKE, GOING CLUBS YOU HATE, DRINKING TEQUILA! HAVING FUN, TAKE FUCK TONNES OF DRUGS AND SIGN UP FOR SHIT YOU WILL NEVER GO!

Sounds nice… it used to be helpful, most of the time it was fun, then it just went downhill, putting the mask on and taking it off hurts more and more, so you decide to leave it on, so it takes control over your body, it melts into one - The Monster that will slowly kill you, destroy your body, relationships, strong bonds you’ve been creating with family and childhood friends, it will push away people you love most and become nobody, It turns you into a cutting board, knife holder and tear keeper for anyone you meet. It will make fun of your own trauma and insecurities until it will wear off and eventually the mask will fall off your face and break into a bilion pieces and turn into a shotgun shell that will blow your face off twice as much as in the beginning, but until it will you’re left alone, bleeding out ashamed, scared and filled with frustration real YOU leaving you on your own with you people you don’t know in the body you don’t recognise anymore… it will wait for the annihilation of your own being… It will wait until you won’t be able to live your own live and proceed with eternal sleep hopefully or you will try to retrieve what once was yours, family, friends, old habits, just so it can come back again, causing more damage, so you will give up…

Time is verifying your choice slowly… DONT LET IT USE YOU AS OLD TAPE IN A LOOP, JUST LIKE UT DID TO ME AND AGAIN AND AGAIN… but each time I’m back to this monsters live I care less, I have no purpose in my life I want to die, but I won’t let my monster be, I will suffer as long as THAT suffers, I guess we both waiting for the moment where the body can’t handle no more and stops its function and will get buried with or without the mask on…

THIS IS THE WAR WITH MYSELF…

I don’t even know if all that make any sense I couldn’t stop writing, the whispers created a white noise and ye, this is how I feel and struggle with, English is not my first language but since I’m living in the uk it just comes and goes and… why the fuck am I writing it ? Nobody fucking cares, I’m laying in my bed isolated, no fucking intention to crawl out of it… is too loud, I need to hide my arms till it will heal up… and I don’t want that fucking thing back, I just want to be me, fucking rotting in bed no sleep no food just me myself and I and books and that fucking phone finally made something useful I don’t answer the text or calls, I’m talking with …. Nevermind nobody will ever fucking read it xd

Jebać stare baby prądem i czcić Boga Hideo KOJIMA amen 🙏🏻

Zagrałabym w death stranding brakuje 4 prepersow na full pizde i będę miała max, wszystko wbite, każdy zadowolony.

W tedy zacznę ja od początku na super hard.

Pozdrawiam… a chuj w sumie nie mam kogo NARTY SANKI DPIERDALAM.