#who cares if its not perfectly accurate to real life

[ask-hws-iceland]

Who’s taller, you or Hong?

(personally I headcanon ice is taller because you know, Icelandic people are generally taller - and I say that as someone from Hong Kong)

As much as I'd love to be tall, I am not. Hong's taller, but only by a couple centimeters.

[lizzyaka]

Man I love the secret history. But like... it's so strange that people can't love a book and also be horrified??? The characters make me sick to my stomach. I wish ppl would talk more about how Julian is perhaps the most dangerous out of all of them. They all already have issues, mostly from being insulated from real life bc of wealth + the aimlessness that comes from that, but they didn't HAVE to end up like that. Obviously they all played their parts and are Fucked Up.

At the same time Julian... scares me honestly. The others don't really scare me except maybe for Henry. He SEES how fucked up these kids are. And encourages them to be even worse. As their teacher, their only teacher. It's a cult!!! Ironically that French teacher at the beginning was completely right; it's chilling how much Julian isolates them, how deeply fucking elitist he is, how he molds and shapes all of them into his personal vision??? The almost god-like way they look at him?? His reaction to hunting for Bunny and comparing it to a Dostoyevsky novel. He doesn't care that they killed anyone! He just cares that he found them out, or that they didn't tell him. I can also never figure out if he slept with Henry or not. Idk there's just something about Julian that is deeply, deeply inhuman. While all the group is deeply fucked up, I think there's another level of evil to be an authority figure and to encourage that behavior. There is no way he didn't know they were all alcoholics or about Charles and Camilla. Interestingly, Richard observes him accurately before his judgment is clouded by endearment, that Julian seems nice but is incredibly manipulative, and that there is nothing behind his eyes. Bunny is easy to hate, he's a schoolyard bully. Julian is the type to encourage his student to stand up to him when he knows they'll lose, and gently persuade them that it's a lesson about the futility of fighting inevitable hierarchies. He makes my skin crawl. I love this fucking book.

I agree with everything you said and i think you worded it all so perfectly!

I dont like to blame everything on julian bc at the end of the day the class were grown adults and i cant standdd when people baby them but julian IS responsible for much of their behavior. The way i see it these were people who were always very isolated and as a defense mechanism they probably further alienated themselves by blaming it on their superiority (like, its not that i dont fit in bc im weird or different in a negative way but rather that im too intelligent and too special for everyone else) and julian only encouraged this mindset and not only endorsed their psychological estrangement from society but also PHYSICALLY isolated them. So this obviously is the main cause for them being so horrifyingly out of touch with reality which led them to commit murder so easily among other things (incest,suicide.....)

And about julian and henry having an affair IM SO GLAD YOU BROUGHT THAT UP BC IVE BEEN DYING TO TALK ABOUT THISSSS

I recently read this article called the secret oral history of Bennington which ill link (bennington is the college donna tartt went to that inspired hampden, as well as other authors such as bret easton ellis who btw is whom the secret history is dedicated to) and please i urge you to read it bc its fascinating. It doesnt focus solely on donna but it does talk a lot about her and gives so much insight into what inspired the secret history. did you know most characters are based on real people? This includes henry and julian. One of the things that stood out to me about the article was how common student-teacher relationships were in bennington and it reminded me of henry and julian and how i originally dismissed the idea of them being involved, but that it would make sense knowing that. AND IN FACTTT the man julian is based on WAS gay and notoriously pursued inappropriate relationships with a lot of his male students. So do with that information what you will but personally i do think they were sleeping together

[codylabs]

I like Samus

(Miscellaneous notes in no order)

She's kind. I've gone into detail about that before on one page of my comic, but it bears repeating here. She doesn't often do things in anger, and she shows mercy and goodwill when she can. I think that's a big difference between her and somebody like Doomguy who just kills anything in his way; it's always more complicated than just "kill the monsters," and she does ponder and respect that complexity, even if, all too often, the only reasonable and responsible option IS killing.

Speaking of, dang there is blood on her hands. None of Batman's "There's one line I won't cross" philosophy; she's been in war and crossed lines. She's killed people. A lot of people. Fanon often characterizes her as the one who blows up planets, but that's not fair or accurate, since she was only involved with ONE [1] of those, but even if not, she IS still the type of person willing to make those tough calls. And leaving the planet-killing out of it, we can see the grizzly truth that most of her killing is intentional, and done in person, face-to-face. Watching interviews with real soldiers, that type of thing often has some serious effects on mental health, and I feel bad for her for that.

She's nearly silent, but she's not mute. More in a reserved, cowboy-just-passing-through sort of way. It's believable that she just doesn't have a lot to say, especially to strangers, or especially on missions. Super Metroid, Fusion, and Other M have her deliver longer dialogue, but it's usually a pretty dispassionate account of her actions, of what she's done and seen. Yeah that's probably a feature of the game format, but if you read into it, a lot of the personal interactions in her life may boil down to that: recounting stories or delivering reports.

*slaps roof of armor* shit's sturdy as hell.

Her gun can't be disarmed or set aside, but she carries it at the expense of a hand; it may be a little goofy, but if you read way WAY too far into it, it can be taken as symbolism for the violence inherent in her duty. But in that vein, there's another kinder side to the symbolism: the Chozo didn't give her two guns, they left her one hand. So killing isn't all that her duty entails.

Double genocide survivor is a frankly bizarre backstory. Like, this poor woman; what are the odds. But it's semi-necessary to the narrative, and I love it because it sets her so far apart. She looks human, she could be a human, any human she meets would think she was one, but deep down, her true people are the Chozo. And with the Chozo gone, she remains an alien wherever she goes. She's bound so tightly to her past that she will always be a stranger.

Related to previous, her armor is obviously alien technology. And not in a "ooh it's too advanced and shiny and glowy" way or whatever, but I mean it's distinctly Not Shaped Like A Human. Stand a Chozo next to a human and you can tell which one it was built to fit. As the series' art style has progressed its proportions have even evolved to match the Chozo's proportions; it's anatomical difficulties have never been resolved or lessened, it's never gotten more humanoid. Which is more than a little goofy (cue rekindling of decades-long debate of how her shoulders work or how her legs are so long) but I think it's awesome.

The built-in jetpack is not for flying, it's for running fast and sick flips.

g gre gr green lights...

The Mother complex is a controversial thing to like, since the only thing the games gave her to be motherly toward is a mindless jellyfish bioweapon (and that was in the worst-written game too, ouch) but I do like it. I like the idea of her being tender/caring/affectionate to the point of being good with kids or animals (if ever given the opportunity (which she never is.)) In another life, in some gentle elseworld, she could have excelled at a happy, perfectly normal domestic life, and it would be a happy ending to the series for her to finally find that life, though I don't expect such an end.

Most of the games represent her death animation as the suit exploding. Which I choose to interpret as a literal self-destruct, to avoid the horrors of her capture and the technology falling into wrong hands.

Ridley. I love her relationship with Ridley. It's the classic image of the knight vs. the dragon, but it never ends, and neither of them ever die. I feel like there's some symbolism I can't quite grasp about how he always comes back through the power of whatever OTHER thing she's currently dealing with, like he's never even plot-relevant, he's just there because she's there, tied to her, hounding her, he's there because her real duty isn't done.

Big strong woman let me touch your abs mommy

Actually could I take that last one back? Her modern fanon portrayal as 7 feet tall and shredded is probably better than some portrayals before (hourglass figure with heels), but I don't think it's accurate or necessary to her character either. Yes, I draw her more athletic, and yeah her job requires some physical prowess, but 90% of the time that prowess comes wholesale from the power armor, in which context the pilot's flesh isn't much more than wasted space. (Plus whenever I see abs I think of an interview with a powerlifter who was dissing bodybuilders, saying that abs aren't a sign of strength, they're just a sign you aren't eating enough.) In any case, I think the Samus portrayals I like best are those that make her just look like an ordinary lady, covered in the wrinkles and scars of her life. Prime Remastered did her right by my book.

The Chozo could have raised anybody to be their champion, a boy, a girl, one of their own, a defected pirate, why an alien like her? Why a human? Why an orphan who already had burdens enough? I am lead to believe by the canon that she selected by a Chozo prophecy, but from Whom does the prophecy spring?

And to what end is her prophecy? Is her great task in life to stop the lawlessness of the Space Pirates? To exterminate the X? Or Phaazon? (Judging by the events of Prime 3, I think the Federation could have done all such things on their own, and the Metroid Prime wearing her suit as an exoskeleton probably made the situation worse.) Or did the wellspring of the Chozo prophecy recognize the Chozo's own failings, and elect a champion intentionally not from among their own as a means of cleansing the universe of their mistakes, and handing the torch to the metaphorical next generation of races in the galaxy?

Prime 1 has a statue of a Chozo holding a tray, and a scan shows it's meant to represent their race balancing the weight of existence in their hands. Heck if I know whether that's an accurate assessment or just so much pride and hubris (the Metroid universe is admittedly a savage and fragile place in desperate need of balance and wisdom,) but it does make me wonder if Samus believes in all that.

If you held a gun to my head and made me give a headcanon about Samus's sexuality, I'd probably say cisgender and straight, since that's statistically most people, but I also recognize that she hit puberty surrounded by alien bird monks who wouldn't know what lips are without looking it up, and I don't know WHAT that does to a young lass, so I don't feel qualified to say. In any case, the canon never mentions friends, personal life, or significant other, in any way at all ever, which implies either A) she keeps privacy even from the narrative B) she doesn't have a lot of free time to spend in those contexts C) she's always on the move D) she tends toward a life of loneliness or E) all of the above.

One wonders what did her time in the military looked like. Did the Federation allow this genetically anomalous cyborg to just walk into the recruitment office? Did she have to apply for citizenship first? Did she just go into battle in her bright yellow? Did they know about her Power suit? Could she even speak human language at this point?? Did she like human food or does she prefer mixed grain and mealworms??? I headcanon: why not, yes, no, no, not much, sure.

[saintsenara]

I always love hearing about people’s fandom and reading/writer journeys especially since they usually involve some very cursed content and fun navigating ‘90’s and ‘00’s tech. Where did you start, what got you hooked, how have your tastes changed over the years, what made you decide to go from reader to writer? 💖

thank you for the ask, anon - and you’re correct that my experience was one of cursed 2000s technology, given that i started reading harry potter fanfiction via the twin madhouses of livejournal and fictionalley - nothing ever tagged beyond "lemon!!!1!" - on the family computer using dial-up internet.

[god bless the fact that the parents of my generation had no inclination to care about what we were consuming online - one of my brothers was a huge fan of rotten.com, and he's perfectly well-adjusted...]

my reading tastes were, initially, lord of the rings focused - i still think* about a particular elrohir/námo mandos fic which had me in chokehold when i was about fourteen - but i was as big a harry potter fan as anyone of my generation [shoutout in particular to one of my pals, who spent the entirety of a geography trip in 2006 speculating what the unknown horcruxes could be with me while we froze our bollocks off in some godforsaken bog in county antrim]. so it wasn’t a surprise, i suppose, that i was clicking on any fanfiction links i could find for that series too…

[the fic which has stayed with me most profoundly from those days was called something along the lines of murder at malfoy manor. it was on fictionalley and was this exceptional combination of the rules of cluedo and the ron-is-time-travelling dumbledore theory. it was incredible.]

but i wasn’t a writer. i was one of those science-y, not-like-other-girls teenagers who was performatively really cunty about other girls who liked to write little stories or draw little pictures, which i thought was fundamentally unserious. the fact that i was an avid consumer of these stories didn’t make me question what the fuck i was being such an arsehole about…

because i loved a bit of fanfic, and not only did i love fanfic but i demonstrably had a fandom presence and was clued up on fandom lore - i could quote my immortal, i knew what a snape-wife was, i was on a forum or two - although i went to great lengths to avoid anyone in my real life discovering that. and i do feel extremely proud of myself that i have a reputation among people i know for not having been particularly cringe as a teen [how little they know… i’ve just got a good poker face.]

i lost interest in harry potter when i went to university - i started uni in 2010, when it was still socially acceptable to be really into it, and i definitely went to my fair share of themed parties in the first couple of years, but by the time i graduated in 2016 [i did medicine, so it’s a six-year slog] i’d not opened the books, watched the films, or thought about the fandom in years. i remember rolling my eyes at the number of people i know who went to see cursed child when it first opened. bit cringe to be in your twenties and into harry potter, isn’t it?

[lol. lmao.]

but a global crisis changes things, i suppose.

like so many people, i got back into fandom during the coronavirus pandemic - although, regrettably, not because i was stuck in the house. i don’t think i’ll ever be able to accurately describe what it was like to work in a hospital in 2020, except to say that by the time i got home each day the only thing i could do other than stare blankly at a wall was lose myself in the comfort of media i knew well and its memories of a simpler time. and once i’d re-read the books a few times… well, it was only a matter of time before i was scrolling ao3 at 3am.

and, because my ego hasn’t changed even if my relationship with my own gender has, it did not take a lot to convince me that i could write stories which were just as good as the ones i was reading.

you can be the judge of whether i succeeded.

[*i’m being coy. i have it bookmarked on ao3]

[the-dream-team]

i just wanted to say i'm so so so incredibly grateful for you for writing who knows who cares... i was really struggling with being bi and on the aro/ace spectrum in the past 2 years. especially since some irl people i thought to be my friends were accusing me behind my back of being a lesbian pretending to like men and/or queerbaiting amongst other things. i genuinely think reading your fic changed my life... i'd go as far too say it kinda saved my life too... even when i felt alone and betrayed reading wkwc made me feel seen and like i was able to keep going. the way you wrote lily's character, the way you wrote other characters reacting to her being herself, all the emotions and experiences you showed. everything was perfect for me. this is probably the best representation i've ever felt when seeing someone else's creation. this paragraph in particular is one of my favourite things i've read... like ever:

“This is actually the happiest I’ve been in a long time,” she continued despite James’s look of confusion. “No, really, it’s just… for so long now I’ve felt extremely insecure about myself and my bisexuality. Even before coming out, I was basically obsessed with how people would react to it—how my family would respond, how my friends would see me after they learned… And then after Idid tell people, my worries shifted to how the queer community would see me, if they’d accept me,if I was ticking enough boxes to fit the right definitions. It was exhausting. I basically lost myself trying to be what I thought people wanted me to be. But these last couple of weeks, with the help of my friends, and the community, and even you… I realized how infeasible it was trying to control what other people thought of me. Because, in the end, who cares? The only one who needs to know me... is me.”

^ this paragraph is so incredibly special in ways i can't even describe. i also adore the way you described pandora lovegood's art and the way lily is entranced by it... i love the concept of using mirrors to see yourself as part of beautiful artwork... so much that i wish i could see it in real life:

In front of her, painted in painstaking detail, was the night sky. Or, more accurately, it was the universe. Swirls of violet galaxies overlapped burnt-orange nebulas expanding across the dark blues of the piece. It was nearly identical to one of those pictures NASA released from their extra-fancy telescopes, but as Lily stepped closer to the painting she could pick out the humanity of the brush strokes. Little hand-made squiggles off the ends of a comet, a stroke of paint thicker than the others, a fleck of purple trapped amongst teal.But more importantly, up close, she could see herself. Every dotted star spanning the entire painting was actually a blank space, revealing the mirror on which the piece of art was created on top of. In place of every star, where every glowing sun should have been, Lily saw glimpses of her freckles, of the red in her hair, the greens in her eyes. Her lips mingled with planets, ears flew alongside asteroids, nose made up the moons. She was there, staring into infinity and finding herself staring back. Without warning, a light flipped on somewhere behind her, angled perfectly toward the piece so that every exposed bit of mirror illuminated like glowing embers. The shock of it—the beauty of it all—sent her staggering backward in order to see the full view of its magnificence. With the stars shining, the painting came alive, shimmering and sparkling and bouncing its brilliance around the room. With a gasp, Lily noticed the dots of light reflected onto her dress, her arms, the glare catching in her eye. Like a disco ball, the painting scattered its light. She looked down at herself and saw that she was made of starlight. An amazing laugh escaped her throat, which constricted as she felt a tingling sensation in the corners of her eyes.

the way she feels so much that i could so clearly see and feel everything. i wish i could see the art you imagined... i was wondering are there any specific pieces you thought of when creating these descriptions? i'm in awe of your talent and you really helped me when i was struggling to stick with the things that brought me joy. at the time of reading wkwc (how is it over a year ago now?!) i tried so many times to put into words how much your story means to me... now i've realised that it is impossible to describe how important this has been in the past 2 years of my life. even now i can't help but get emotional even if i reread just one paragraph or even a sentence. thank you so much for sharing your beautiful writing... you truly have a special gift <3 sorry for the rant but i really wanted to let you know how much i appreciate you... thank you!

Wow!! I don't know how to properly respond to such a kind and thoughtful message other than saying thank you thank you thank you a million times over <3 It's such a privilege to have readers like you who can relate to this story and its characters on such a personal level. It means the world to me that wkwc helped you in any way and I so appreciate that you took the time to share this with me :)

I've gotten a lot of questions about Pandora's art in the past, and I wish there was a real life piece I could point to because I'd love to see it! Actually, I'd love to be able to paint it myself, but unfortunately I was not blessed with those skills hahaha

However, I can go into more detail about how I came up with Pandora's art under the cut! (some light spoilers and rambling discussions about themes below)

Okay! So! The main inspiration came from wanting to incorporate mirrors as a motif in the fic, seeing as the story was largely about self-reflection. There's a line where Marlene calls the mirrors heavy-handed—which I agree with to an extent haha—but I wrote the story with a younger audience in mind, so I thought the symbolism should be clear and concise.

Another big theme is representation, so I wanted to really hammer that home by having artwork that Lily could *literally* see herself in. Sometimes that's more direct, like when she sees her and James in the "Car" painting's review mirror or within the faces of the "Happiness" paintings. Sometimes, she just catches glimpses of herself, like in the "Universe" piece.

As for the painting of the universe, this is a little more abstract but I wanted Lily to be able to transcend the whole idea of labels that she'd been really caught up on the entire story. At this point in the fic, she has to let go of her preconceived notions that there's a "correct" way to be bisexual and realize there are infinite ways to be queer and they're all correct! To me, nothing says "infinite" more than the universe hahaha so that's how I brought those three ideas together to come up with the idea for the final painting!

I kinda tried creating the art in this old banner I made for the fic... I blended Lily into this vague universe-esque painting I found on pexels.com and then the words "Who Knows Who Cares" are meant to look like mirrors. I'd like to say I'm better at photoshop now than I was a few years ago lol

Anyway, this is way more than you asked for, but since I've gotten comments and asks about the paintings before, I figured I could include a deeper dive here!

Thank you again for such a lovely message and I hope you continue to find positive representation in all the media and art and life that you experience <3

[keysmashhhhhhhh]

Rewatching Nativity! making me feel so nostalgic. It's just so reminiscent of my childhood:

- set in a small Catholic primary school in a generic English city - scarily similar to my own (except my uniform was red not blue)

- the kids at the school are looked down on by the private school kids in the area

- some of the teachers are amazing and really care about the kids, others are a menace and shouldn't be allowed around children

- the depiction of the "politics" of the nativity casting is so true, like who got cast as Mary and Joseph was a BIG deal

- sitting in the hall for assemblies in your class rows with teachers either side

- the chaos of putting on a nativity is perfectly shown the backstage drama!

- all the charecters of the kids in the class are just so accurate, I can see everyone of my primary school friends in them it's actually painful I miss that so much

- the teachers constantly saying we would never achieve anything because of where we're from, thank god I didn't listen to them too much

- the actress who plays Jenifer looks IDENTICAL to my hairdresser like it's spookily similar

- the decor of the classrooms is exactly the same as my old primary school, like literally I mean the posters are the same, even down to the wavy borders to the big boards in the hall, the font used everything is just identical

- school trips to a farm >>>

- teachers shouting CALM DOWN at you as though that's going to calm you down before a performance

- just all the little religious bits with the priest, reminds me so much of Father C and Father L at my old school

- just singing and dancing with your friends to endless christmas songs, simpler times

- the mismatched costumes, everyone bringing in little bits from home and sharing to make an outfit, the classic teatowl on the head for shepheards

- the outdated tech like phones, laptops and projectors date is so well

- the parents, I can't explain they're just accurate, that scene where the guys mum shows up and he suddenly realises I've seen that happen with my old best friend when his dad would turn up to school events and he'd just be so happy because he'd very rarely see his dad

- Alan Carr's charecter is just so wild because I genuinely feel like I would know that guy exists in real life

- doing Christmas crafts and like Christmas creative writing/spellings in the last couple weeks of term

- all the kids random auditions with odd talents, I've got videos from some of the "talent" shows we put on in primary school featuring a truly amazing recorder/violin duet with me and my best friend

In summary it's probably my favourite Christmas film, the care attention to detail and love that went into it is so clear and its so accurate it actually hurts with nostalgia. I'm probably going to watch Nativity 2 next week so I can make a little list of things I note in that one if anyone wants that

[quadrant-query]

Pitch, Pale, Ashen??? None of those, identifying: Help. There is this pathetic fucking idiot troll who is insistent on making themself miserable in the worst ways possible due to their generally shitty lot in life from a situation out of their control. Though their life could never be fully rid of this shittiness, at least as far as either of us know, it could be greatly improved if they did not seem insistent on wallowing in their own misery. They could make their life significantly less difficult and potentially even have fun outside of some temporary distraction or mind-numbing bullshit.

They are my friend, they make my experience of life significantly more bearable, partially out of entertainment, partially out of company, and I believe that I may be falling for them, but I have struggled intensely on identifying the feelings.

It pisses me off that they do this to themself, its pathetic and it makes me angry, but i... think I care for them... Like... Care care. Pale ways. I want them to feel ok, for things with them to be better, and for them to respect themself, but the hate I feel for them is also too real to ignore... It does not feel as heady as pitch, as black... Its... I once joked with an affiliate that it is like I am in an auspistice between them and themself, and this... Idea has not left my mind. There is no word I have found that accurately fits how I feel for them... If you are aware of anything that would help identify these feelings, I would be grateful. Perhaps I am working with flawed definitions.

Hmm. This is an interesting and difficult question to ask.

It is entirely possible to be frustrated with a moirail. Sometimes, the fact that they won't just take your advice can drive you crazy.

However, pitch affections often also lead in the direction of betterment-- for what use is a rival if they are not as good as you are?

Auspistizing between a singular troll and their own impulses is a strange idea that I have not yet encountered.

Although in a theoretical vacuum it could see some merit, I feel that put into real-life practice it would be extremely inconvenient. It simply crosses too much into moirallegiance territory to spend your time tending to a single troll's mental issues. Should your pale quadrant be filled, it wouldn't be unlikely that your moirail takes issue with your intimate and emotional solitary dates with another troll. Moirallegiance, as I stated above, is *already* a relationship that can be deeply frustrating-- mistaking that frustration for something different feels like a potential overreaction that could lead to something you might regret. There's no need to come up with a strange and new quadrant configuration if your situation fits perfectly in precedent.

However, you mention that you hate this troll. If your hate for them truly overtakes your pity, and your hate truly is that conciliatory, then perhaps it *is* something more of the ashen variety-- but there is something social and external going on that is causing this reaction, and it would likely do you good to identify it.

Is it likely their situation, their disposition which requires doctoring, or some other combination of outside factors-- should you separate these things, and removed this troll from their issues, you will have satisfied your strange ashen urge and thus be free of this dilemma.

[simplycarmats]

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[leweebdepoche]

Mamoru Hosoda's latest masterpiece (๑•̀ㅂ•́)و✧

BELLE (Science Fiction/Drama) 2021 - Film

Mamoru Hosoda

Score : 10/10

Mamoru Hosoda's latest masterpiece, those who know his style and talent will not be disappointed! You will find in Belle everything that makes his anime unique pieces that remain forever engraved in the hearts of viewers. Using an old European tale as a basis - Beauty and the Beast - he makes a magnificent reproduction of it, free of the usual clichés and stereotypes.

Suzu is a young high school girl with a passion for singing, but whose past wounds prevent her from living out her passion. She would like to sing, but can no longer. U, the fashionable metaverse, will save her from this situation by giving her the possibility to sing in a virtual universe with a different appearance. Freed from what was holding her back in the real world, she finds herself embroiled in a virtual celebrity totally disconnected from her true identity. Through Mamoru Hosoda's usual way of approaching things in his anime, new themes for him are tackled such as the question of the regulation of virtual space and the internet in general, the impact of social networks on the lives of individuals, and the opportunities it can also bring. Beyond that, it is the suffering experienced by the children, the sense of justice, and the difficulty to accept the wounds of the past that are again explored through this very beautiful story of friendship and love in all its forms.

The beautiful message of Beauty and the Beast is also perfectly conveyed in this emotional anime, namely beauty beyond appearance. The true inner beauty and value of a person revealed by artificial intelligence that creates an avatar based on the true strength of the person using it is without a doubt the main message of this anime. Once again, Mamoru Hosoda has served up a new piece of art that you'll regret having missed, once again accurately portraying the complexity of life with the most beautiful simplicity. So a good piece of advice from the weeb: don't have this futile regret in your too-long list of regrets the day you die...

Note: Belle is a treasure in terms of the references it contains and that the title subtly insinuates. A most appreciated finesse of spirit that this anime will bring you in addition to its full of vibrant emotions. Between Jellinek and Peggy Sue, I'll let you discover these discreet clues left here and there throughout the anime about people who questioned the concept of rule throughout their lives...

“You don’t care about justice at all, you only want to control people !” - Suzu

[endlich-allein]

My 'Zeit' review

Okay the night was short. So as I said earlier, we need to talk about Rammstein's new album. Today no photos, just my opinion that you didn't ask and you probably don't care. It doesn't matter, I'll give it to you anyway. Obviously what follows is my personal opinion and engages only me.

What to say ? A lot because Zeit is an album that looks nothing like the others, especially not the previous one. If the Untitled album was heterogeneous as a whole, with some very good and some less good, this new album is more homogeneous, the songs are of equal quality both in their vocal and musical interpretation and in their construction. However, this homogeneity means that there is no masterpiece in this album, there is no Deutschland, there are "only" good songs without any of them really coming out of the lot. I've seen many people compare this album to Rosenrot, yet it's relatively distinguishable, the theme of the songs is closer to the LIFAD album and musically it tends to be in line with Sehnsucht. But the comparisons stop there, Zeit is a surprising album, the guys could have just done the same thing as in 2019, but no, they dared and came out of their comfort zone to deliver a totally original album, without frills, and really, really good from start to finish.

Before talking about the songs themselves, I would like us to address the two points that particularly jumped out at me. Keyboards and voice. Very clearly Flake's keyboards are the musical dominants of this album, on some songs they even go so far as to stifle the guitars. They add lightness to dark themes without overdoing it. Till's voice is a real conductor, it is his voice who sets the tempo and announces the color of the songs, Till shows us his talent as a narrator and the extent of his vocal palette, capable of yelling like to whisper his texts.

The songs now. 'Armee der Tristen' was one of the songs I expected the most and I'm not disappointed, we start strong. Mamamia keyboards ! And this heady tune with Till's voice coming up and down, slowing down the rhythm to state all my faults (lol this song sounds like my life "Depressiv, betrübt, zerschlagen / Sollten wir zusammen verzagen / Deprimiert und melancholisch / Pessimistic, devilish"). I really like this song a lot.

I will pass quickly on 'Zeit' and 'Zick Zack' since we have already been able to talk about it when the videos were released.

I found in the song 'Schwarz' little things from the songs 'Hallomann' or 'Mein Herz Brennt', when I told you that the keyboards came to counterbalance the dark theme this is the case here, with at the end the addition of violins.

'Giftig' is a fucking UFO ! Unclassifiable. Musicaly nothing to say, everything plays its role to perfection, the keyboards with their jumping score come to pose notes on the powerful riff of the guitars. And Till's voice just waiting to get angry (the "ja" at 2:22 made me weak). Too bad the song is so short, we want more.

For 'OK' and 'Dicke Titten' I was a little afraid, given the topics covered, that they would redo us 'Pussy' (because I admit it I am one of those who do not like this song). On 'OK' there is a lot of work on the guitars, a fast rhythm of drums, musically we are getting closer to "heavy", without forgetting the keyboards which are still there. This is a very good surprise for me. And 'Dicke Titten' has this absurd side that Rammstein masters perfectly, with this little cartoon music in the intro. This song sends loud.

'Meine Tränen' has an epic western side that I really appreciate. And my god this text is heartbreaking.

I think I'll go into more detail on the song 'Angst' tonight when the video comes out because I have a pretty accurate interpretation of that song. But damn it, Till is doing something crazy to us like the song 'Puppe'.

'Lugen' is an excellent song and the use of autotune (which I totally condemn in certain artists who use and abuse it) is very well used. A vocal artifice for a song that speaks of lies and illusions. Genius !

'Adieu' gets into your head very quickly "Adieu Goodbye Auf Wiedersehen". I don't really want to develop this song any further. Maybe I'll come back to that later...

Here I think I told you everything I thought of this album. After a few listens I like it more and more and I got nothing but positive from it. I would be delighted to have your opinion, to know if you like it or not and why, which songs have marked you the most, which songs you would like to see live, etc. Don't hesitate !

[softcallofdutyimagines]

An oddly specific hc:

Weaver, Mason, Woods, Adler, and Hudson with an S/O who likes to give+recieve cuddles. (Guess whose love language is physical touch? Is me.)

DJDJDJSJ LITERALLY ALL OF MY HUSBANDS IN ONE ASK !!!! You know, love languages for the squad might be an interesting one, one day! I feel you tho, mine is words of affirmation but physical touch is a super close second 🥺👉🏻👈🏻

Phew I went kind of all in on these, so sorry of they're really long or rambly, but I hope you enjoy them!! Weaver and Woods even feature a little dad bod action bc ik that's our thing 😌😌💅🏻

Adler

Honestly, at first he's not use to it

In fact, you'd be forgiven to think he didn't like it at all

However, he never shuts you down either...

If you persevere for long enough and are able to gain his trust, you'll be rewarded to find that he actually quite enjoys your touch

Well, more then enjoys I'd say

Adlers job is a lonely and thankless one, and although he could hardly bring himself to admit as much...

The loneliness takes a toll on him

He is only interested in receiving that kind of affection from someone he has a connection with, so as you can imagine, it's harm for him to get that need fulfilled without you

In a way, he grows rather addicted to you

You're the first thing he goes for when he comes home after time away

All in all, he's down for whatever you've got to give, but his favorite thing to do is to hold you

Whether that be while cuddled up and or just standing in place, it doesn't matter to him

In turn, he particularly likes when you stroke his jawline or pepper him with kisses

He's very sensitive about his face and scars as you know, doubly so after the torture and rescue stuff he went through

So when you show extra affection to that spot, not only is it a huge sign of his trust in you, but it also just so happens to make him melt

Hudson

Hudson is an extremely similar case to Adler in that, although you wouldn't guess it, he craves physical touch

In fact, Hudson might be even worse off

I would argue that at least Adler works with his task force members, but Hudson???

He's more or less forced to stick to the shadows and only speak to others on a more or less need to know basis

Given that cannon Hudson has a whole wife and kids, I get the feeling that he just wants to be loved damn it!!!

So all this to say that, unlike Adler, I don't think Hudson would be even remotely as coy with his desire for affection

I mean, if you've managed to snag a relationship with him, he must trust you a whole lot already, so why not just clear the air, right?

However, I will say that I think he might be a little shy about it

What if he comes across as too needy or something? Not a good look for a grown man, surely

As a result, if he has nothing more pressing to attend to, he'll be your shadow around the house all day long, from one room to the next

Of course, he does his best to not follow you step for step or do anything else that would obviously give him away, but it doesn't take a genius to figure out what he wants

You'll have to invite him to come to you most of the time

And good thing too, bc when he's with you, it's like heaven

He's fond of simply collapsing into your lap when your seated, or across your torso when laying down

From there, you can do whatever you want

If you really wanted, you could balance a damn book on his back and just read in silence for all he cares

As long as he can have that physical connection to you, it doesn't matter

This is another area where he's a step up in extreme from Adler

While Adler wants you, Hudson needs you

You're like his one place of rest in the whole world, the only place he can be safe and forget about his work, and you have no idea how much that means to him

Mason

Personally, I think Alex is probably the one most (relatively lmao) well adjusted adult of the group

He of course loves receiving physical affection from you, but he doesn't need to rely on it as some sort of coping mechanism

While he can be a little clingy, its a usually only after times that he has to be away for a long while

Personally, I feel like Alex is the safest for me to say that he probably also has physical touch as his love language as well!

He will often come seek you out just as much as you so for him, and he has no problem requesting some snuggle time

Mason is perfectly confident in his masculinity after all, so asking if you wouldn't mind cuddling him is a simple task in his eyes

The height of his interest in touch comes when he's trying to sleep though

He's prone to pretty awful night terrors given all that he's been through, so I'd say that's the only real time that he truly does rely on you and your gift

Even if it's just something as small as holding his hand while you lay next to him, any little bit helps

He definitely notices more difficulty sleeping when you're not around, so he's thankful for you for sure

Mason is also pretty big on pda I think lol

Like holding hands, hugging, and kissing...

None of that bothers him!

Although he enjoys nearly all forms of touch from you, he'd have to admit that he loves it the most even you run his back or hold his hands

It's... Comforting

Weaver

Off, poor Weaver, he's a mess

Imagine someone who burns with an all consuming desire just to be touched damn it !!! like Hudson does, and yet has ten times the reservations and insecurities about it as Adler does

That's close to what Weaver is like

He's extremely shy around you, just to start off

In fact, he's probably still star struck that you actually wanted to be in a relationship with him in the first place

And so, he's not sure how to act...

He really is a big softie on the inside, and yet he's not sure if you'd like that

After all, he's the big, tough Russian guy to everyone else

That's who you met, so it would make sense that that's what you want, right?

While Hudson would warm up after a while and, albeit awkwardly I'm sure, ask you for some cuddling time or some such...

... Weaver almost never asks, but will instead make it painfully obvious that he wants it lol

It definitely does not help that he's quite insecure with his appearance

These days, he's a just a touch more soft and round then he use to be, and that's on top of his missing eye and greying hair

If you are of the opinion that such things only make him more suited for cuddling, warm and comfy as he is, it will take him an awful long time to believe you

Buuuuuuut...

Although he loves to pretend he only tolerates his at best, he does rather enjoy it when you give his chest or tummy some affection

It's sort of like Adler and his scars: Weaver loathes the state of his abdomen, amongst other things, but he must admit...

He likes that you like it

Woods

Geez, Woods is probably as opposite from Weaver as it gets

I once heard the phrase "a dog in human form", and honestly?

It doesn't get more accurate then that

This man lives for attention and the fact that you want to give it to him, drives him crazy

He's pretty shameless, and is down to be touched or felt basically whenever

It's to the point that he's taken up walking around the house shirtless just in anticipation of any cuddling or rubs to be had

He's a bit performative about it, which can be either entertaining or annoying depending, but he never misses an opportunity to show off his muscles to you and let you have a feel

Really though, anywhere you want to touch, however you want to do it, go ahead baby! He'll eat it up lmao

Of course, if you catch him at a time in his life where he's going the route of Weaver and developing some dad bod...

Totally different story

If that's the case, he's extremely adverse to letting you touch places like his thighs, chest, and of course his stomach

Really, just anywhere that's filled out

Which in his mind, could very well extend to his body as a whole

Needless to say, this creates a very powerful inner turmoil between his desire to be near to you and impress you, and his fear of rejection

With this Woods, it'll take a loooot of gentle touches and reasurace to bring him around

But once he trusts you, he's be right back to how toned Woods would act

Bare chested, tummy out, and ready for some lovin 😌

[crimefighter-bae-b]

Resident Alien

Season 2 Episode 3

I tried typing this out once and it got deleted, so here we go again.

I have some opinions about the new episode of Resident Alien. I recognize what SYFY is, and I know what tone the show is trying to hit, but I feel like they have handled other topics better and with more sincerity than they did with this one.

(Spoilers below the cut)

I really like the message that they are trying to give, but I really disagree with their way of doing it. I didn’t feel like the show really committed to it. We have had moments where the show has quieted and given space and respect to topics. It is capable of it. But, when it came to the moment where Harry revealed to Asta his discomfort with being a woman and why, the scene didn’t feel like it had the solemnness or care that other scenes about serious topics have had. It felt like the show itself was afraid to take it too seriously.

Also, Harry’s previous experiences with sex made his revelation about how women experience the world, and the objectification of their bodies, fall kind of flat to me. Harry has already experienced sexual assault and rape. The fact that the writers don’t seem to acknowledge Harry’s experiences in that context is disheartening.

From a character perspective, him not having a traumatic take away from those experiences doesn’t change the fact that he has had sex under duress. He told Asta that he had sex performed ‘at’ him and on him, ‘forced to watch’, in order to keep himself safe. I would argue that is already a very female experience, even if it isn’t an exclusively female experience.

I also found the start of Harry and Asta’s part of the story an interesting choice given the themes of the episode of Girl Power and pro empowerment. Harry tells Asta that as an alien he can alter human memories in order to suit his purposes. This is, on its own, a very frightening thing when you think about it. However, with the context of the episode it felt unnerving.

The story of Harry attempting to seduce a woman, taking her to his home, putting her into a trance like state (sleep), and then using her body (in Harry’s case in terms of shape shifting) feels awfully like an analogy for date rape. And I do think that’s the intention, Asta does seem to address this, but not directly. Harry argues the situation calls for it and Asta reluctantly agrees. So it’s this strange and awkward scenario that feels wrong when overlaid with the storyline of the women of Patience demanding equal pay and Harry learning that there is gender discrimination in society.

I don’t think that every story can be perfectly grafted onto real life, and sometimes what message you are trying to send and what story you are trying to tell can conflict. I get it. But it was an odd pairing of stories and I think that maybe because the theme was so front and center the whole episode it might have been better for the writers to come up with a solution to the Like-Date-Rape-But-Not plot line that more accurately reflected what was trying to be said. Or keep it, but make Harry’s experiences while doing it more emotional or impactful, and take the real emotional core of it seriously.

Also, they didn’t need to put Alan Tudyk in a pair of fake tits and put alien makeup on him, but they sure did and I guess I’m just tired of the whole men wearing ‘women’s’ clothing thing. Like, it’s not funny. There are men who wear ‘women’s’ clothes all the time and they are all living their best lives. I know it’s probably unintentional again, but it was boring.

All that being said, I am genuinely enjoying the show, I think I just wish they let themselves have hard and sad moments more often without it switching immediately to a joke.

EDIT: I rewatched a couple scenes as I had watched it fairly late last night. I will say, the lesson Harry learns about his actions in regards to the woman he was trying to seduce do land. Like, I don’t think they are poorly constructed, again, I just felt like what they were trying to say could have resonated more strongly if the tone was slightly altered.

[band--psycho]

The Only One Who Ever Could-Aragorn x Reader

‘So idk why this idea came upon me hahah I'm sorry it sounds so chaotic. But what if Sauron had a daughter he didn't know of? What if she's a strider herself, immortal one, and she falls for Aragorn as she helps to destroy her father and the ring. ‘ Request by one of my absolute faves @little-diable , It’s quite long, so I apologise..I got a bit carried away but I hope you enjoy this my love!❤️

Y/ns POV

 I felt like I was standing in the eye of a hurricane.Silence. that’s all that surrounded us, apart from the sound of the rain as it dreaily fell from the sky, it seemed somewhat apt considering what was about to unfold. My eyes looked out into the distance, locking on to the flickering flames of our enemies as they approached ever closer. I scanned over the faces of the men of Rohan only  to see fear and apprehension (which was entirely understandable), before my eyes landed on a young boy, no older than twelve. I couldn’t help but notice the little sparkle of hope that twinkled in his eyes. I wondered what he must’ve been thinking of, was it his parents? His siblings? His favourite memory from before the world began to darken? I had a few thoughts rushing through my brain as our enemies got even closer, the main one being Eowyns words from earlier, no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t seem to shift them from my mind. ‘You do not command the others to stay. They fight beside you because they would not be parted from you. Because they love you’, I doubt she knew how accurate her words were, nor how it sent a rush of jealousy straight to my heart. I do not know when it happened, I couldn’t pinpoint a day when I began to fall for Aragorn, it just gradually happened over the years we spent as Rangers together,  not that he knew. He was completely oblivious to how I truly felt, mainly because I’d never let him see it. Gimli and Legolas loved him like a brother, but me, I loved him in a different way all together, but I daren’t show him that. I wouldn’t risk the years of friendship we’d built. He deserved to be happy, with someone worthy of his love, maybe that was Eowyn. The other thought was a somewhat overwhelming feeling of dread, as I heard the clanking of metal and heavy footsteps draw near. We could all die here tonight. We Could die here tonight and he’d Aragorn would never know the truth, but maybe that was for the best. There was something oddly poetic about that, something that I thought could only ever be in stories, not in real life.And if we lost this battle, this world would fall back into the darkness it was in before. There would be no joy left in the world, my father would see to that but I was going to do everything in my power to make sure he didn’t crush the goodness that was still in this world.  I was dragged from my thoughts when I heard the shout of the Urukhai. This was it. Men, elves, a dunadaine, a dwarf and a maia, against at least ten thousand Urukhais. It was torture, stanidng there, listening to the Uruks growl as they taunted us with the sound of their weapons coliding with the ground or the hitting of their own armoud, again and again and again. At the sound of this, everyone on our side got their weapons ready. A sea of archers and swordsmen all awaiting the fight. Without warning an arrow was shot, hitting an Urukhai directly in the neck. As soon as its body hit the floor, there was a chorus of growls, signaling the beginning of the battle as they ran towards us. I took a deep breath, readying my daggers, before glancing over at Aragorn, my heart hammering in my chest as our eyes met and he gave me a quick and reassuring nod.  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

I felt my heart swell as I noticed the boy from earlier run straight into his mothers arms, a smile beaming on both of their faces. The odds had been stacked against us and if it wasn’t for Gandlaf and the Rohirim maybe our fate would’ve been different but by some miracle, we’d won. We’d won the battle. This one at least. There was an even bigger battle coming, we all knew it, but for now, I only felt relieved. My eyes landed on Aragorn as soon as he entered the room, I was going to go over and talk to him but I thought better of it when I saw Eowyn embrace him. So I limped off to a quieter part of the old fortress, where I didn’t have to pretend that seeing him with her didn’t break my heart. I was happy for him. Happy that he’d found someone in this world that could make him happy. I was foolish to think we could ever be anything more than good friends, after all being Saurons daughter wasn’t exactly helpful, not that I was anything like him, nor was I ever like him..but that type of a title is hard to shake off; That’s why I became a Ranger,  it was quite a lonely life, but I think sometimes we both preferred it that way, or we used to. The only reason we travelled together was because we both knew it was always better to have someone watching your back and neither of us wanted to become like the other members of our family. I knew the truth about him and he knew the truth about me, he accepted me, despite my  family; but I knew now that that was only as a friend, not as a lover.  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was sitting in the quieter part of the fortress, dabbing the cut on the side of my leg lightly. At first, I thought it was just a small cut, while I was fighting I’d barely even noticed it, but that must’ve been the adrenaline clouding my mind because it was quite a deep cut. 

“You’re hurt,” Aragorn stated, catching me off guard entirely. 

“It’s nothing, I’m fine,” I reassured, involuntarily wincing as I dabbed the cloth on the gash.

He sighed softly, shaking his head  as his hands gently grabbed the cloth from mine. “Let me.” If I had the energy maybe I would’ve argued, but I was too exhausted to even try, even if that meant allowing him to see the more vulnerable side of me I’d tried so desperately to hide over the years.  It was peculiar that his rough hands were so gentle as he cleaned and bandaged the cut, once it was done I expected him to go but he didn’t, he just stared at me like he was trying to work something out. 

“What?”I asked him, my voice full of confusion as he moved slightly, so he was now sitting next to me. 

“We could have died today,” he pointed out, staring off into the distance. 

“But we didn’t,” I reassured him, playfully nudging him. I saw a small smile creep onto his face, but it was gone as quickly as it arrived. 

“Aragorn? What’s wrong?” I asked him, wondering if this had something to do with the daunting realisation of the next battle. 

“I thought you’d died,” he muttered, his voice barely above a whisper as his eyes continued to look out into the distance. “You were right behind me one second and then, I couldn’t see you anymore and I thought you’d died.” I knew exactly how he felt. When the Urukhai blew up part of the weaker part of the fortress, I thought he’d died. I tried so desperately to reach him but there were too many Urukhais surrounding me for me to get the chance.

I turned to him slightly, so I was now facing him, “But I didn’t and besides this cut, I’m perfectly-” before I got the chance to finish that sentence he crashed his lips onto mine.I didn’t know what to think, I was so confused, I thought he was with Eowyn. Before my mind got a chance to process what was happening, he pulled away, sadness filling his eyes as confusion filled my own. 

“Why do you look so confused?” he asked, avoiding my gaze.

“You’re with Eowyn and you just kissed me,” his gaze met mie as soon as I said those words. 

“I’m not with Eowyn,” He answered, furrowing his brows slightly. His answer made my heart begin to hammer in my chest. 

“You’re not?”

“No, I think she has feelings for me, but my heart belongs to somebody else already.” I knew it was wrong to feel as much joy as I did when he said those words, but I couldn’t help the small smile that came upon my face, giving away just how I really felt. 

“And who might that be? Who’s stolen the Rangers heart?” I asked coyly, my smile turning into a smirk. A chuckle escaped his lips as he pulled me closer towards him gently, minding the cut. 

“The only one who ever could,” he whispered, our lips now inches apart from eachother.I swallow his words with my lips and I can feel him let out a sigh of relief against my mouth as our lips molded together in perfect synchronicity. His lips were coarse, as I’m sure mine probably were but neither of us cared in that moment. In that moment all I could think about was him and how he’d made all my dreams from the past few years turn into a reality. 

Tagging: @glicabhainn00 @fizzyxcustard @gwen-ever @dumbassunderthemountain

[itsclydebitches]

PFFFF The newest Witcher trailes LITERALLY throws shade! They have the 'Geralt, but you've been such lone wofl so long, what change' and deadass show JASKIER before later shoving Geralt saying 'Yennefer' like a cheap 'no homo!' excuse. I can't. xD Whoever edited it knows what's on. xD

I feel so conflicted about the Jaskier-Geralt relationship in the show because on the one hand, yeah, they're definitely leaning into this non-romance in a way that can get uncomfortable for some, how shall I put this... jaded viewers lol. We know they'll never be canon. No matter what else we might say about Netflix's inability to accurately adapt the books, Geralt/Yennefer has always and will always be endgame, so getting intimacy between Geralt and Jaskier in these particular ways (flirty jokes, bath scene, argument staged like a breakup), while not explicitly queerbaiting, can make viewers feel... icky about it all. Especially for any show-only fans who might not know that Geralt/Yennefer is endgame. Many viewers, particularly American viewers, approach shows as malleable forms of entertainment that can provide them with the representation they crave, provided the fanbase is vocal enough about wanting it. And the more talk that surfaces about major, crucial changes to the plot that reinterpret huge swaths of the books' purpose and intent, the more it can feel like they might just change Geralt's love life too! Even though they (obviously) won't. And frankly shouldn't given that this is supposed to be a faithful adaptation.

Yet on the flipside, the Netflix versions of Jaskier and Geralt don't feel intimate to me at all. Their hostile introduction, Geralt outright punching him, the continued performance of 'I'm a big strong manly man who can't admit that he cares about others,' reducing decades of their bonding to a surprising, throwaway line, that argument when Geralt blames Jaskier for all his problems... it's terrible and I've never liked this dynamic for them (even as I, somewhat hypocritically, play with it in fic). So I'm like, you're intimate enough that fans are starting to side-eye the creators' intentions and yet simultaneously not intimate in any of the ways you should be if you were actually faithful adaptations of the book. And these problems, I believe, go hand-in-hand. By ignoring the actual friendship of the books, Netflix has been forced to "prove" that they care for one another by falling back on tired buddy tropes that, historically, fans have used as evidence for a potential romantic relationship. By not writing Geralt and Jaskier as having the open, witty, philosophical, caring-but-also-taking-no-shit relationship they had in the books, Netflix has fallen back on a dynamic that isn't doing their show any favors. Fans either hate it, or love it to the point where they expect something of the show that the show can never deliver.

So it's a mess! And that mess hasn't done Yennefer any favors either. I'm really not in a position to be defending that pairing - I've never hid that I'm not a Geralt/Yen fan - but whatever the books did that made others love their relationship... I don't think Netflix is capitalizing on that either. In that other ask I brought up how in the games their relationship seems to revolve entirely around Ciri and sex. If they're not talking about their daughter (or if Yen isn't being cruel) their relationship is just about how horny they are for each other, which... isn't really a relationship to me. Or at least, not the deep, "We belong together forever, we're basically soulmates" relationship that the franchise is going for. Same with Netflix. I never liked the foundation of their relationship being an ambiguous wish that tethered them irrevocably and a quickie in the rubble as a replacement for actually getting to know one another... but Netflix takes those aspects and emphasizes them to a disappointing degree.

"You spent a lifetime alone. What changed?"

"Yennefer of Vengerberg."

Yet when it comes time for the trailer to show us what this deep, insightful relationship is that changed a man after an entire lifetime of wandering alone... it's just sex. That's literally all Netflix is able to show us because that's the only meaningful interactions Geralt and Yen have had together. Here's a clip of them falling into bed together and Geralt, without any of that emotional work shown to the viewer, professes that he loves Yennefer the way she's always wanted to be loved.

Here's a clip of the joke we got where Jaskier is gaping over them having sex on the floor post-Yen nearly killing the lot of them.

I'm like... what out of any of this is meant to be appealing to me? Besides the fact that they're both hot as hell? (The casting does make my little bi heart happy lol.) For me, Geralt and Yen are a classic case of a story insisting they're meant for each other because That's Just How Stories Work, without doing any of the actual, you know, work to show us why they like each other, or how they got there, or why these superficial things (the sex is great!) trump the huge hurdles they should be working through. The games might have their flaws, but god bless 'em for letting the characters point out, "Hey... how do we even know this love is real and not just a byproduct of the djinn's wish?"

Geralt and Jaskier, as established, absolutely have their problems in the show, but I can understand why so many fans ship them over Geralt/Yen. And no, though bigotry can play a part, we also can't demonize the entirety of its popularity with, "You just hate women/are racist/creepily obsessed with queer men/whatever the latest accusation is." Rather, the popularity exists because, whatever their faults, it feels like they actually have a relationship in the show. We see them developing together in a way we simply don't get with Yennefer/Geralt and because that development isn't largely reduced to sex scenes—the narrative trying to pass every bonding moment off as True Love, with True Love equaling physical attraction—it comes across (at least to me) as more realistic and believable, especially given Geralt's character, someone who is emotionally closed off. If Vesemir (I think it's Vesemir) asked what changed and we deliberately cut to that moment of Jaskier leaving after Geralt drove him away... I'd more easily believe that yeah, this relationship is causing Geralt to rethink things in a way he hasn't for an entire lifetime. We've seen them travel together, become (begrudging) comrades, defend one another, do favors for each other, tease each other, have a major fight that they'll inevitably make up from, Jaskier is presented as Geralt's first friend, and none of this is tied to a questionable wish, or passed off as the totality of Geralt's development.

The fact that Netflix would include those lines, cut to a legitimately heart-wrenching moment between Geralt and Jaskier, but when it comes times to show his relationship with Yennefer, the most powerful moments are her without him (smashing the mirror, undergoing her transformation, stepping out in her new body for the first time, etc.) and their moments together are just sex—one of which is used partially for comedy—well... that just illustrates the problem for me. What relationship? The one that supposedly exists simply because the story says it's there? I don't think I'll ever be a Geralt/Yen shipper, but I'm perfectly capable of separating my personal preferences from subpar writing choices. Netflix is far into the latter. The way that they're adapting the story is, imo, hurting both fans of the book material and fans who are on the fence about book material. Because so few of these changes are working well, we've lost all the good the books contained and are now stuck with so much new bad. Basically, "No one liked that."

Except, of course, for the Geralt/Jaskier shippers riding the coattails of those tropes... though many will likely be disappointed and hurt by the series' end when they're not made canonical, with others growing frustrated with how the fandom has turned on them simply for liking what they were given. It's really turning into a lose-lose for everyone involved.

[fyeah-bangtan7]

j-hope: “I’m not the kind of person to settle for their life as it is”

j-hope himself hasn’t changed since the days before his debut. The way he treats others, the way he feels about BTS, his passion for dancing—they haven’t gone anywhere; only their breadth has changed, along with the breadth of his deeply-held beliefs, his will, and his dreams.

“Butter” has been a huge sensation in the United States. j-hope: I did work hard preparing for it, but whenever I try to embrace an unintended success, in my mind I’m always like … It’s like half happiness, half a feeling that makes me think seriously about what I accomplished. There’s a sense of responsibility that comes along with such an honorable achievement. ARMY’s done so much to keep us at number one, and I’m incredibly thankful for that. At the same time, I also realized that our names are becoming known to more people in the world of American pop music.

It seems like the bigger the success is, the more things you end up thinking about. j-hope: In the past I would just humbly accept it, and it was something I worked hard for so I was happy to accept it—and that was somewhat immature, I guess, but now it’s different. I’ve been working constantly for over eight years, and it hasn’t been easy to achieve so much in that time. So from now on I’m tacking a question mark onto how I should carry on and maintain things the way they are and what attitude and stance I should have right now. It’s homework I haven’t been able to figure out yet, basically.

What effect do such thoughts have on the way you express yourself as an artist? j-hope: I’m also a performer, and I don’t think I take any performance lightly. Ever since we did “Dynamite,” the number of times I go over my performances after they’re done has gone way up. I felt like I’m responsible for making the dances stand out, so I thought I have to try my very best for that aspect. You don’t want to underdeliver on a performance when that many people are sending out their love to you. Each and every one of the members thinks so, and I think we’ve created an atmosphere for our practices where we are able to see how important these things are. After all, even if we don’t show it to one another, we all know how important it is to practice our performances.

It seems like there must be an atmosphere of understanding in the practice studio. j-hope: We used to have to practice for a long time, again and again, to sync up with each other. We’d practice for around 10 hours, review our performances, take a break and then get right back into it, rest some more and do it again. That was then, but now, after all that experience, each member knows where they need to focus, so we coordinate our dispositions and make intense breakthroughs and do what we need to until it’s just right, and then we take a break we really take a break. Now we don’t even really have to think about it. So it’s like, All right, let’s do everything we have to do quickly so we can hurry up and get some rest. This part doesn’t seem right though? Let’s get through this quickly. That’s how we do it. We’re more efficient about work and practice now.

Did that have an effect on you individually as well? As you think more about your performances, the parts you concentrate on might change. j-hope: The dancing is important, but I think I came to realize just how important the visual aspect is. The reason I change my hairstyle or whatnot so often these days is because I want my appearance to blend naturally with the song. Since I’ve always been a dancer I just kept working hard at the things I could do best. But obviously it’s important not to go overboard with the visuals, so I kept an eye on it and adjusted it for each performance. That’s the most important part.

Your dancing in “Butter” is one thing, but it’s also a performance where you need to demonstrate your character. What were you hoping to show off? j-hope: I wanted to show how much I’ve grown in “Butter.” The style is bold and revolved around well-tailored suits and the whole thing felt sexy. I tried to get that across as much as I could. And I learned a lot from watching the members who are good at expressing that. I took all the different ways I thought of that I could try out and melted them all down together, smooth like butter. (laughs)

What’s going through your mind when you’re performing, especially when the spotlight’s on you? Like when you do that attention-grabbing dance break full of slow movements in “Butter,” or the solo disco dancing you did for the “Dynamite��� dance break at MMA 2020. j-hope: My mindset doesn’t change. When the spotlight’s on me, that’s an opportunity for me, in a way. It’s a chance for me to shine among our team and its seven amazing members, so I’m always on the lookout to make good use of such opportunities by doing my best. I shouldn’t turn down what I’ve got coming to me, and show off everything I’ve got to show. ARMY and the general public will be the judges, and if they have something to say about it, I have to accept and correct it, I think. I want to say that I developed my own type of growth for myself by repeatedly correcting and practicing and correcting and practicing. I’ve been dancing a long time, but I always feel like I could be doing more, so I put in the effort and I take pleasure in when I make something that turns out really well.

But, if you look at your “Butter” fancam, you continuously react along with the other members dancing even when you’re not the focus of the main camera. j-hope: I’m not consciously doing it. But these days when I watch overseas awards ceremonies or pop artists’ performances that they’ve shot on video, I feel like they don’t really have any heavily edited parts or quick cuts. They capture the artists’ energy while showing the whole scene, so I’m always thinking about how I never know where or how I’m going to be captured on film. So even when the camera is mainly focusing on Jin, in some cases you can still see me in the back, and so I think setting the mood in the background in order not to interfere with his part is an extremely important part of a good performance.

I thought you were very consistent. When SUGA comes forward to rap toward the end of the song, you keep tossing out little shouts to boost up the mood. j-hope: It’s fun, you know? Doing that. (laughs)

That sounds like a good balance insofar as you can continue to express yourself individually while staying devoted to the group. j-hope: I agree. I think that’s something I always had in the back of my head. But as I’m performing within this big group structure, making sure not to interfere with that comes before anything else.

The “Permission to Dance” performance has a different flavor than “Butter” in that sense. While “Butter” gives each member their moment to shine, “Permission to Dance” seems to place importance on the overall mood of the entire group. I feel like it brings out your personal trait of being bright and hopeful. j-hope: When we got the song, it occurred to me that I could just be myself in this one. There’s no need to act; I can just use the real feeling I get when I’m on stage. That’s also the message the song is aiming for, so I think it came across naturally. Like I’m happy, but also on the verge of tears?

Your dance makes use of sign language. Although it is a dance, it also conveys language, so I imagine there were a lot of things to consider. j-hope: Yes, there were. We’re conveying language even though we don’t use a lot of sign language in our dance moves. So although the song is nice and light overall, even when we were practicing we were saying how we have to make sure the moves are perfectly accurate. We thought we should understand the importance behind sign language to properly convey its significance. So we thought we should do our best to do the moves correctly while at the same time trying to fill the song with enjoyment and positive emotions. We spent quite a lot of time integrating the moves into the dance routine, and so I think we were able to show off our attitude about the performance pretty naturally.

I think your vocals and facial expressions at the start of the second verse of “Permission to Dance” help people intuitively grasp what kind of song it is. It makes me think of what you said in the “ARMY Corner Store” video uploaded to YouTube for your 2021 FESTA celebration of the group’s eighth anniversary—that you’re the “vitamins” for the group. j-hope: And I am. I used that expression because I feel like I consistently, and unchangingly (laughs) give the team good energy. I don’t know if I’m actually the vitamins or not. Looking back, I’ve always tried to give them good energy and keep them in a good mood, and I think it’s safe to say now that I’m one of those people who try hard to keep their group’s energy up. I still get a little embarrassed, though. (laughs) I wouldn’t say that I don’t feel any pressure at all about the label. All seven of us have to act as one for BTS to work, and that’s always on my mind, so it forces me to be careful that I’m not standing out from the rest of them. Because the team functions well when everyone has their own role. And because I always keep that in mind whenever I think, I should do whatever I can do, I’m able to contribute to the team and I think I ended up feeling a little more confident about the things that I found difficult to express in the past.

Was there a push behind that change? j-hope: I felt, and realized, exactly what I needed to do with my own personal identity and energy right after I released my first mixtape. From that point on, I thought that I should express my musical views and things like my energy regularly, but not in any intense way. Before, as time went by and the group really blew up, I think I had let go of a lot of the pressure to express myself. Then I started to feel like I wanted to try expressing myself in my own way, even as the team did well.

When you revealed your depressive side directly in the time from when you put out “Dis-ease” during the pandemic period to “Blue Side” from your mixtape, was that a reflection of that influence as well? j-hope: People’s emotions change every day and so do their feelings and the things they can accept throughout their lives, right? So I think the changing emotions I felt and came to accept as the group grew in popularity is also expressed by the way my songs changed. It’s also something I always spend time thinking about, but I’m just another young person living his life on this planet. I’m not really different from anybody else, which means I can’t always be as bright as I was on Hope World. So that’s why I tried a different approach to the things I could express.

What did you find out after trying that? j-hope: I ended up thinking about the shadows inside me. I didn’t realize it when we were promoting, but with the whole world suddenly at a standstill, we have all this time where we can’t do anything and I can see all the shadows underneath—sitting spaced out in the studio, thinking about what kind of life I’ve lived, seeing BTS’s performances on TV, I think, That’s who I was. The amount of willpower I found during this time has been tremendous. I figured I’d better use all those feelings entirely and all at once, that those are emotions and songs that could probably only ever be written at this time anyway, so I put all those emotions down like a diary, and “Dis-ease” was born. With “Dis-ease” as a starting point, I thought I could include stuff like my inner darkness, and that’s why I was able to release “Blue Side.

”What did you see when you looked inward? j-hope: I ended up seeing a side to the real Jeong Hoseok’s life that I couldn’t perceive before. I kept thinking about what life would be best for j-hope while we were working, so I wondered what Jeong Hoseok’s life would look like as a whole. While that was happening I realized I’m not just some always-cheery person—I experience hardship, too. So I thought I could grow closer with listeners by sharing little parts of me that I had been hiding away, and that it would be interesting to show people a side of me that’s different from their idea of who j-hope is. Most importantly, I don’t feel any resistance about who I am right now. As a person who makes music and releases songs about his personal life, I think this is all part of the process.

There’s a line in “Blue Side” where you sing, “Now I just want to burn blue to death.” It seems here, too, something of your shadow was revealed. j-hope: If you’re burning to death, it’d be very hot. But the parts I called blue are a place I consciously escape to to avoid things. It’s a place I escape to that I could safely live in and be swallowed up by, but I don’t want to do that. So I think I tried to show that I want to stir up my passion for the things I wanted to do even if I’m burning blue to death. To be honest with you, I don’t know how I came up with those lyrics exactly. I wrote that part a really long time ago when we were on tour overseas. I’m not a big drinker, but those were the first lyrics I ever released that I wrote while drinking. (laughs) When I write lyrics when I’m drinking I often regret them when I see them in the morning, but when I take a look at them again after some time, I can tell they’re lyrics that I could only ever write with the feelings I get at that time. When I release that kind of song, I get some kind of feeling. And when I give myself feedback about my own music, a version of myself who’s different from the way I was before I made the music emerges.

Is there anything else you’ve learned about yourself lately? j-hope: Um … I’m—what should I say—not the kind of person to settle for their life as it is. I could just keep living like I am and do whatever I want with my life, but I don’t know, honestly. I’ve already had so many amazing things happen but I want to take things one step further, as an individual and as a member of BTS. A thought came to me one day: Have I been challenging myself at all lately? Outside of making songs or dancing? But the answer was no. So I decided I would challenge myself and give some things a try, one of which was studying English. It’s still hard and I have a long way to go, but I’m trying my best given our current schedule.

What are you getting out of studying English, do you think? j-hope: If I can speak in English then I can give and take directions with English-speaking artists myself when I’m working on music. My thinking is that this is one channel of communication I can open that will open up more possibilities in my life. But it could end up being hard to keep studying with our current schedule (laughs) so even though I say I’ll do it, I might not be able to. Your mind could change at any minute and you could come to different decisions any time, depending on how you want to live your life. Right now I’m trying to do music for music’s sake, challenge myself with performances for performance’s sake, and try hard personally for BTS. And I’m working hard to figure out what I need to do for my next steps.

What do you imagine your next step will be? j-hope: I think my next step personally is to grow our music globally. I’ve been doing some self-reflection lately and there’s plenty that I want to do. I have a lot of dreams, too. Making it this far with the group, seeing the other pop artists we’ve been vying with on the Billboard chart, really left an impression on me, and now I’m more serious about wanting to express something. So for example, I’m dreaming of growing our music globally since the environment to have good synergy with foreign artists has already been built.

You, and BTS too, have worked your way up step by step and now you’re able to dream up new steps. In the 2021 FESTA “ARMY Corner Store” video, you said the present is possible only because BTS followed the path that it did since its debut song, so you didn’t want to alter any of your past. (laughs) Still, is there anything you’d want to say to your past self if you could say just one thing? j-hope: As a joke, I’d say, Hey, listen to this melody: “smooth like butter”—write that. If you do that, you’ll be number one on Billboard. I could do it that way, right? (laughs) But for me, even the parts of my life that weren’t good became opportunities for growth. So rather than telling my past self to fix something, I’d just tell him to believe in himself and move on with his life however he feels like, and keep working hard, keeping things the way they are. Other than that, I’d have nothing to say to him.

So how do you feel about ARMY now that they’ve climbed all those steps with BTS? j-hope: ARMY is absolutely … I feel like they’ve become an icon themselves. I’m so proud of them. They’re amazing. ARMY is like an artist in itself now, too. Sort of like they’re one big symbol of the era? ARMY is as famous as BTS now. I think we give each other good energy, and helped each other to make something good. It might sound obvious coming from a member of BTS, but if I were ARMY, I’d never be ashamed to call myself a fan of BTS. Anyway, I’m seriously … I want them to always know I’m really, really grateful for them.

© source

[thedeadflag]

I’m so confused! I know it’s not your responsibility to educate me but in your post bringing awareness to the negative aspects of g!p fanfic you say

“Why do these g!p characters rarely if ever involve experiences reflective of trans/intersex women? Why are they so utterly cis and perisex-washed? Why do nearly all writers have zero idea that tucking is a thing? “

Doesn’t that answer your original question? The reason they don’t reflect those groups of ppl is bc g!p isn’t trying to represent those groups of people or else it WOULD be transphobic to limit them to one specific fetish right? it just refers to a canonically female character with the addition of a penis (I don’t argue the name “g!p” should be changed bc that’s a no brainer why that could be offensive). But the fanfic in general, how could it be harmful? I’ve noticed in my time reading it as a non binary person it’s given me great gender euphoria reading a reader insert where reader has a penis while being a femme representing person just bc that’s a reflection of my personal experience. I don’t see anywhere where g!p fanfic ever references or tries to emulate the experiences of trans or intersex people so how could it be offensive?

Sorry this is way too long I’m just very confused

I'm going to try and lay this out as politely as I can. It's after 3:30 in the morning here, so this could be a bit disjointed and rambling. More under the cut:

In real life, ~99.999999% of women with penises are trans women. Which puts us in a tricky situation of (A) being the only women with penises around for media involving women with penises to reflect back on, and (B) being in the lovely position of precious few people actually having had meaningful real life exposure to trans women, meaning (C.) all those stigmas and all that misinformation are going to purely affect us and it’s going to be uncritically gobbled up by the masses, since they don’t have any meaningful information to fill in the blanks with instead.

When we peer into the depths of femslash fandoms and see all these folks who aren't trans women writing about women with penises, and using cis women’s bodies as platforms for these penises, it’s the simplest thing.

I mean, some of those folks might actually be struggling and confused about why they’re into it, what the real appeal is, why they get off on it, why they might have some feelings about wanting a penis of their own…

…but from our vantage point, it’s really easy to gauge 99.99% of the time. We can generally see valid, legitimate yearning to have a penis pretty damn easily in a piece of art/writing, and we can also see when people who create this media are just hung up on a boatload of baggage and fetishization.

And 99.9% of the time, the creators are just hung up on a boatload of baggage and fetishization, and see trans women’s bodies as a perfect vehicle to tap into that, generally due to deeply held cissexist views that link us and our bodies and genitals directly to cis men, to maleness. As if penises are rooted in maleness and masculinity (which is absolutely not true).

And I have sympathy for NB folks (certainly TME ones who have reached out to me in the past about this) who might be struggling with that, but just because they’re non-binary, it doesn’t mean they get to appropriate our bodies and reproduce transmisogyny and trans fetishization in their attempts at feeling better. Shit doesn't work like that.

Because again, the only women with penises in this world, essentially, are trans women. Meaning any woman with a penis in media is a trans woman, implicitly or explicitly. Meaning that when people who aren’t us want to write us, intent doesn’t matter, it doesn’t matter if it’s just the writer’s fantasy, it’s still going to attach a variety of messages directly onto us.

And more often than not, due to cissexism, those messages are linking us to maleness, to toxic masculinity, etc..

While I do want to believe they're a fairly small minority, a lot of NB folks in fandom spaces like g!p characters in part because they see penises as male and the rest of the body as female and think that duality is interesting and would be comfortable, and is a nice balance of “both worlds” or a nice position “between male and female”, but that’s a wholly cissexist, transmisogynistic view to have, and it’s one that absolutely cannot be supported without directing sexual violence against trans women and invalidating our entire existence. Certainly not all NB folks into g!p like it for that reason, but holy shit a fair bit of them do and it’s weird and wrong and fetishistic.

g!p emerged from the idea that women can't have penises, and drew on the transmisogyny and cissexism of tr*nny porn to structure that frame of desire and the core patterns and trends within these works. It's always been trans women's bodies being used as a vehicle, whether or not the writers of these fics are explicitly aware of it, because the trope itself still holds true to its original patterns and cissexism. It's not the name that's the problem, it's the content; changing the name would be a surface level change that wouldn't affect anything.

g!p objectifies women with penises (trans women). A woman with a penis is more than just a woman with a penis, but the use of the term and trope is literally to (A) remind people that women don't have penises, otherwise the g!p term wouldn't be needed if people actually accepted women with penises as women, and that (B) this is a story centered on a scenario where there's a woman with a penis, with key focus on that genitalia specifically. it's the drawing point, it's the lure, it's what everything is centered on. It is a means for folks to write lesbian sex while also writing about penis in vagina and getting off to it. It's also no surprise that the penises so clearly emulate cis men's penises in these works, that is by design.

As I’ve said many times before, if you’re only writing trans women’s bodies to showcase cis men’s penises, you’re not respecting the womanhood of trans women, and this ultimately has nothing inherent to do with penis-owning women, it has to do with (cis) men and their penises, because trans women are just being used as a vehicle to emulate them. When NB folks do the same thing, and imagining themselves as those g!p characters, they are ultimately embodying cis men, their maleness, and often toxic masculinity, in a way that feels safe and distanced enough for them, a shell that they often code as cisnormative due to their own unprocessed cissexism.

And trans women don’t deserve that.

You seem caught in the idea that if something doesn't directly perfectly reflect trans women, that it can't be linked to us., which ignores the long long history of media being used to misrepresent marginalized peoples and cast us in insulting, dehumanizing lights. You show a lack of understanding of the g!p trope and the long history of its usage across a few other names, even if the content and patterns remained the same. It shows a lack of understanding of tr*nny porn and transmisogynistic stigmas, which the trope draws heavily from.

I think we can all recognize that most 'lesbian' prn that's made does not represent actual lesbians, it's overwhelmingly catered to the male gaze. We can also recognize that this category of porn has led to a lot of harassment towards lesbians from cis men who at the very least want to believe lesbians are just like they are in the porn he watches, that lesbians just need the right man. Lesbians are being used as a vehicle for a fantasy that was created externally to them, and doesn't represent their realities.

It's the same kind of situation here. The way g!p fics play out overwhelmingly doesn't reflect trans women's realities, but they are inherently linked to us regardless, as we're the vehicles for those fantasies, as unrealistic and harmful as they may be.

g!p characters are built in our fetishized image that’s based on a deeply cissexist misunderstanding of us, of the gender binary, and of bodies in general.

I mean, when 99% of cis folks don’t understand how trans women tend to be sexually intimate… when they don’t understand what dysphoria is and how it works and how it can affect us physically and emotionally…when they don’t understand almost any of our lived experiences…then they’re not going to be able to accurately portray us even if they wanted to.

And I’ve read enough g!p fics where authors wrote those as a means of trying to add trans rep, but because they didn’t understand us at all, it wasn’t remotely representative, and it was ultimately fetishistic, even if there was an undercurrent of sympathy and a lack of following certain common g!p patterns there that differentiated it from the norm.

If g!p fics were at all about reducing dysphoria or finding euphoria, then it wouldn’t be explicitly tied up in the performance of very specific sex acts, very specific forms of misogyny and toxic masculinity, very specific forms of sexual violence and exertion of sexual power, etc.

But it is.

So the notion that creating g!p fics helps NB folks? Nope. It CAN certainly prevent/delay those folks from facing a whole boatload of shit they’ve internalized, and coddle them at the expense of trans women.

Because if it was really about bodies and dysphoria/euphoria, there would be a considerable push (allying with out own) to end our fetishization and to represent us in and out of sexual contexts with accuracy, respect, and care. Because they wouldn’t care what sex acts were performed and what smut beats were hit, they’d just want to see someone with a body like their ideal being loved, being sexual, connecting, being authentic, etc. Which very much is not the case in the overwhelming majority of g!p fics. That's what we want, and it's not what g!p writers want, it's nothing they give a shit about.

Like, a ways back I started doing random pulls of g!p fics from various fandoms and assessing them for certain elements to provide some quantitative clarity. I started on The 100 here, and did OuaT here. Never finished the 100 one since the results leveled out and stayed pretty consistent as the sample size grew, so I didn't really see the point in continuing any further after about 140 fics when the data wasn't really changing much at all.

Lastly, media influences people. I've read countless posts and comments from people who use fanfiction as a sex ed guide, in essence. Which is ridiculous, but I also know sex ed curricula often isn't very accurate or extensive in a lot of areas, so people take what they can get. Representation in media can be powerful, and when it overwhelmingly misrepresents people, that's also powerful. Just because fandom is a bit smaller than televised media, it doesn't make that impact any lesser, certainly not for those whose primary media intake is within fandom.

Virtually all trans representation in f/f fanfiction is misrepresentative of us. That has a cost in how people understand us, how people react to us, and how people treat us. Not just online, but in physical spaces, and in intimate settings.

I invite you to read that post you referenced again, or perhaps this longer one which is a response to a trans guy who seemed to feel something similar to you with this trope.

All I can do is lay it out there and try to explain this. It's up to you how you handle this. All I know is whenever there's a big surge in g!p in a fandom, trans women generally leave it en masse, because it's a very clear and consistent message that we're not valued, respected, and that people value getting off on us over finding community with us.