#who has to watch a cartoon to deconstruct from a school day

[thegoblinboy]

I’m going to toss my hand in and try something new let me know if it makes sense. Also, I wasn’t sure what to tag so I tagged a little bit of everything lol.

Gareth was on book return duty. Taking a book from the over-growing pile of books, opening the back to check when it was taken out. Before going to the persons name and stamping that they returned the book.

Moving his ringed fingers up he swooped his hair off to the side a bit. Not sure if he enjoyed the middle part yet, deciding to give up on the product and just let it fall loosely down the sides of his face.

Moving he picks up the hobbit next. Tapping his fingers to the rhythm of a Black Sabbath song. While Eddie seemed to be going through a hard core Metallica phase Gareth was enjoying the stonerish vibes of early Black Sabbath. While he preferred Ozzy, Eddie enjoyed Dio more. If the Dio shirt sewn on the back his vest said anything.

Flipping the book over, a piece of paper falls out of the book. Groaning Gareth rolls his eyes as he moves bending down and picking up the face down page that had landed itself on the carpet. Kids really needed to fucking learn how to remember to pull shit out of their books before returning them because Gareth was not going to go on a witch hunt to return shit.

Glancing down he raises a eyebrow feeling rather impressed with the drawing in front of him. Looking around he was curious to see if who ever returned this book would still be here. He moves rolling back to the desk quickly as he checks who had the book last.

Will Byers.

The kid must have forgotten to pull it out, using it as a book mark. It was a pretty sick drawing of a boy. Who after a moment or staring Gareth recognizes as Mike. He snaps his fingers as he spins in a celebratory circle of knowing who it was. It was a very detailed piece of work, a little sad as he looks closer. Noticing scratch marks from where the pencil dug into the page a little to much, leaving not only scratches but little idents as well.

He carefully folds it back up, hoping that it wasn’t to weird to be carrying around a fellow hellfire club members portrait. Gareth had heard Will also played but it seemed like he was avoiding the club.

Who knows and who fucking cares.

Gareth decides to make an acception just this once. It would be a pity if this drawing was thrown away. So he uses his library access to look up the kids locker number. Abusing his powers if you will, as the stupid thing makes a soft beeping noise as it loads up. Rolling his eyes he slams the side of the computer a little before groaning loudly when he realizes he’s only made it go much slower.

Huffing to himself he begins to work on returning the other books. Forgetting about the whole thing until he went to shut the computer off. Quickly scribbling the number down and sliding that along with the drawing as he gets ready to leave. Picking up his flannel vest and sliding it over his shoulders as he picks his bag up and starts to leave. On a mission to get this drawing slid into the locker. But his plans are forgotten as Eddie stumbles in a run, nearly knocking him over in the process.

“What the fuck Eddie!” He sounds annoyed, glaring his best resting bitch face at the other who simply grins. Softening Gareth’s reaction just a smidge as he shakes his head trying to stay annoyed with the other as he begins to close the library doors. School had been let out almost a hour ago, so why was Eddie still in the school.

“I need your help, I have this friend right. And I’m trying to get him to read the hobbit. And well he has this problem. Where he can’t see the tiny words … and read at all because the words move. I heard there were talking books. Hypothetically where would I get one of those Gare bear.” His ringed hands are clamped shut, in a sign of pleading. He’s pretty sure the guy was going to drop to his knees and start begging for his help.

Gareth rolls his eyes as he pops the library key in his pocket. Forgetting about the two papers inside as he raises a eyebrow. “You mean audiobooks?” His tone is a smidge patronizing but that was just Gareths lack of self awareness when it comes to tone.

“Yes that!” Eddie snaps his finger as he moves to wrap his arm around Gareths shoulder, slowly beginning to move him around a bit. Ignoring the uncomfortable look the other has just for a second before quickly pulling back when he realizes his mistake. “Sorry Gary, wasn’t thinking.”

“Kind of hard to do that with no brain.” Gareth says in a slightly dull tone. He was exhausted and ready to go home. Curl up in a ball and watch Voltron or something that was really easy to digest because there was no working brain cell in his head right now. Something that was very typical of him after reading so many names in one sitting.

“Oh you pain me Care Bear. You pain me so.” Eddie dramatically tosses his head back before he straightens up a bit more serious. “Though where would I find these ‘audiobooks’?” He puts quotations around the name as he does a side shuffle down the hall so he could keep looking at Gareth.

“Hawkins free library, should be a small pile. If they don’t have the hobbit then you’re going to have to read it to this person.” Gareth says, grin pulling its way to his face as he watches Eddie grow flustered.

“No can’t do that, um- okay! Thank you Sir Gare’alot, you’re character shall have many rewards if this pans out.” Eddie salutes before he’s stumbling backwards and sprinting down the halls before a teacher caught him.

Gareth rolls his eyes as he leaves the school, forgetting all about the drawing until it fell out on his bedroom floor. Pinching his eyebrows together he groans as he realizes that he was going to have to return it first thing in the morning or else it was never going to be returned.

Which he does as he fiddles with his drumsticks in one hand and carry’s the folded paper with the other. Grumbling under his breath as he realizes the boy was currently at his locker. Silently pulling books from the top shelf as he gets ready for first class. Gareth should be to but this was something he had to do, his brain was refusing to let him back out.

Sliding up against the lockers he tries to muster his best Eddie impression but instead he ends up seemingly more bitchy then before. “Think you forgot this in your library return.” He says tilting his head a little as he holds the paper out between his two fingers. Watching the shy boys eyes grow wide, face blooming red as he snatches it quickly and hides it in his locker. Hands shaking and he looks like he’s about to piss himself.

Gareth realizes now that this situation could be misread, he really should start to look out for every outcome possible as he groans. Pulling his flannel out like a drug dealer with a trench-coat. Revealing the little rainbow pin that hides itself on his belt loop. Wills shoulders relax a bit as Gareth moves awkwardly patting his back.

“It’s cool man, but Mike fucking Wheeler?” He teases with a amused smile. “Way more sheep in the sea or whatever,” he grumbles a little with a soft flush to his cheeks as he stumbles over his words with the way the other looks at him.

“Freak!” A fit of laughter is heard right before Gareth is slammed into the locker. Groaning as he glared at the guy who did it. Moving to throw his drum stick at the back of the assholes head before Will stops him. Hand barley wrapped around his wrist to stop him.

“Not worth it man, only going to get your stick broken.” Will says gently as he lets go of his hand before stepping back a little closing his locker door. Gareth felt so embarrassed, heart racing as he wished he could meet someone new without some asshole ruining it for him.

“So, freak huh?” Will asks gently with a soft smile. “I don’t know if you’ve heard but I’m Zombie boy.” He awkwardly holds his hand out for the other to shake.

Gareth furrows his eyebrows before he decides the other wasn’t picking on him. Wrapping his hand around the other in a shake as he grins gently. “Sounds like we are from some marvel comic, freak and zombie boy.” He jokes. Watching the way the others eyes bright up with excitement.

The damn breaking as they both start to talk about everything and anything they can within ten minutes. Info dumping as much as possible.

So I set this up to where that it could be purely platonic greatwise with byler in the background or romantic greatwise with one sided byler. It’s up to interpretation (: for that, I just wanted Will to make a friend.

[electronicdelusionstarlight]

Alright, let’s analyze it on a more specific prospective.

So, BNHA’s Society.

80% of the population have achieved superpower via birth. 20% is factually disabled in this society by lacking, again said superpowers, and face discrimination and mockery.

The Main Character belongs to this category of people, at least at first, and has been bullied and abused all his life over it, authority figures turning a blind eye to it.

Emblematic that one time he was mocked over it with the always charming phrase “Why don’t you go jump off the roof and kill yourself, maybe you’ll get a Quirk in your next life.”

So, oppressed minorities, ones that are so due to birth defects, and who are excluded by the workforce or a safe school environment due to their condition, in a eugenic society that rewards those who, by birth, have achieved the strongest Quirks, or have been given the opportunity to master them.

Let’s not focus on that.

I feel enough people have focused on how fucked that up is.

No, let’s focus instead on my sworn enemy.

Capitalism.

So, the BNHA world is a world filled with people with various degrees of superpower. This has lead to a time of strife back in the days, allowing the rise of satanic figure AFO and his messianic, Cain-like brother OFA, and shit like that.

By the time the series take place, in the 23rd-24th century, things have gotten back into a semblance of “Normality.”

By turning Superheroes into Cops.

The State, once they realize that powers are here to state, set up a system that heavily favours them.

1) You cannot use a superpower in public unless the state gives you a permit for it, under no circumstance. This especially applies to cases of self defense or defense of others. That’d be Vigilantism, and Vigilantism is a crime, as they specifically say during the Stain Arc, where both Midoryia and Todoroki, interns under two pro heroes, use their Quirks to protect two people and themselves from a serial killer. You CANNOT use your powers to save anyone or protect yourself unless the state allows you to do it. This means that you cannot protect yourself in case of a mugging, for starters, or in case someone were to, say, fight back against their r*pist by using their powers, they’d be judged guilty by the system for it.

2) This is SPECIFICALLY so the state, again, can get the MONOPOLY ON SUPER VIOLENCE. It’s the state who decides who gets to use their powers, and it’s the state who decide how they do it. This is enforced via a serieses of Military Academies, mostly private or state high school, specifically designed to mold 14 to 18 years old into future Soldiers for the Cause, military academies leading to a specific, high risk job which highly publicized among preteen and middle school kids with spots, cartoons, merchandise, everything to be sold to the kids so they get processed in those nice academies bigger than an entire city founded by so much government money that will then, in turn, allow their underage child soldiers to intern under one or more top hero during their years there, unpaid, and without adult supervision from the institute..

3) This leads us to the Capitalism. UA alone should, if Aizawa doesn’t snap and mass expels everyone in his class again, graduate 40+ heroes every year. this not counting eventual General Studies students switching courses, and all the other military academies out there. This creates a Market Oversaturation, forcing superheroes to work under a more experienced veteran as a sidekick to earn a living, and creates a competitive and toxic market. Because that’s what this is. Capitalism applied to superheroics. It’s heroes having to sell their images to products, to produce merchandise after merchandise and have it sell, to every day look at the popularity charts and BEG whatever deity out there that they did not get another dive, that they will have enough money to feed their family this month.

4) Agencies are forced to take either government jobs, or find other ways to finance themselves. An example is the agency Momo goes to for her first internship, more a joke than an actual commentary on society, (Because of course Momo gets treated as a joke), where she is conscripted into doing TV commercial by her pro hero. Another pro hero, Mt. Lady, instead uses her interns as slaves to do most if not all of her work for her. This makes superheroing a Business, as exemplified by the existence of a Business Class in UA, an highly competitive one of many corporations of heroes, where the “weaker” and “less interesting” ones are set aside, or outshined by other heroes.

5) This is an unsustainable and broken system. Heroism is seen as a gateway to fame and money, but also fucks you over pretty easily given the dangerous work conditions. Female Heroes have to be on point at all times in order not to fall in popularity, heroes have to have flashy quirks that easily catch the attention not to be reduced to underground ones, people must have safe, good powers, so not to accidentally kill anyone and be labeled a monster by society and her clear cut view of heroes and villains, but they must ALSO have a power so not to be met with Pity or Mockery for their existence, and to top it all off there is a dying maniac sprinting around the country on a limited time limit stealing everyone’s job trying to be the Symbol of Peace.

6) You can’t have a system of endless competition between everyone involved, and then have Goku go around, free of charge, and do most of the work for everyone. Had All Might been at his Full Might, he would have destroyed the superhero economy, already greatly flawed as it is, by doing everything he could to fuck it, without even realizing it. Because who the hell needs a very minimum of 40+ new heroes EVERY YEAR  in ONE COUNTRY when the symbol of peace is there, acting as deterrent? What happens to all those young, impressionable teens who just want to be heroes?

7) As I said before? They become sidekicks. They become wage slaves, unpaid interns to some flashy hero, or are forced into other... less savory sides of the job. After all, their Pro Hero might make or break their career, so who are they to talk back to them? As they are forced to do things they normally wouldn’t do? For a chance at helping people? For a chance at giving their loved ones a better life?

8) And all of this? Is played completely straight from episode 2 onward. Much like in Naruto, much like in RWBY the status quo is not to be challenged, society, this society of heroes and capitalism, is not to be challenged. The ones who do so are villains, they are terrorists who kidnap little girls with insane powers to torture a “cure” out of her, they are Serial Killers murdering frauds and legit heroes alike under a misguided view of the world, they are not to be listened to, or to be treated seriously. Why should you? They are evil. They decided to be evil. Society, the government, your employer are telling you they are evil.

9) And evil people have no rights. No, all they have, is a containment cell in Tartarus, strapped to a table, and forced to be tortured psychologically for the rest of their lives, alone, barely sentient. No Lawyer, no Process, no Pity.

10) As a rule, I LOATHE Superhero Decostructions such as “The Boys” (Comic Books, not sure about the show didn’t watch it) or anything else Garth Ennis or Frank Miller ever wrote in their entire life, ESPECIALLY Holy Terror, but BNHA?

BNHA is the universe of a superhero deconstruction... but played like a legit superhero universe.

And that’s fucked up.

PS: DON’T GET ME STARTED ON QUIRK MARRIAGES LIKE WHAT THE FUCK.

[chriscdcase95]

D.E.B.S: Why this movie needs an update.

I wrote a review for "D.E.B.S" for college and made a slightly modified version of the review for this page. You should be able to pinpoint where this version of the review becomes less of a college report and more of a fan discussion.

D.E.B.S is a 2004 romantic comedy spy film, which has a plot based around the D.E.B.S program. With a secret portion of the SAT's tests, students are selected based on if they have what it takes; the ability to lie, cheat, fight and kill. The selected students are recruited into the D.E.B.S Academy to be trained to be spies. Their top student Amy Bradshaw is assigned to lead a squad to stop and catch a notorious super-villainess Lucy Diamond, who has a reputation for being a dangerous threat, who has killed a number of agents in the past. Things take quite turn when Amy and Lucy actually meet.

The film was not well received upon its initial release, with largely negative reviews, and faded into obscurity. Despite this the film has long since developed a cult following over the years. It is noted to being one of the few mainstream films that has a main focus and positive representation of homosexual and lesbian relationships, in a time where such depictions were rare.

One criticism is the focus on humor, emphasis on the romantic plot, use of cartoon tropes, and minimal character development. The character who gets the most positive development in my opinion is the films ostensible super-villain antagonist, while the bulk of the cast are pretty one note. 

This can be alluded to the film not reaching it's intended audience, being a near decade before it's time, or perhaps the mainstream audience was expecting something different. If you watch the movie expecting it to be a fully serious and strait forward spy adventure movie, you may be disappointed; but one must understand going in that this is not a strait spy movie, this is a genre parody/satire/borderline deconstruction. And that's before it outright switches genres.

While the film is far from being a masterpiece, one word I use to describe this film is "Subversive". This subversion can be best demonstrated in how the antagonists and protagonists switch over the film; how we are introduced to a mysterious super-villainess who is supposed to be a threat to the known world, turning out to be a socially awkward bean who is more interested in making love than war.

The actual antagonists having an unsubtle parallel with religious groups who believe that conservation therapy can cure homosexuality. Yeah, I know the D.E.B.S issues where that Amy was in love with a supervillain that would cause them bad publicity, as opposed to Amy being a lesbian, but the symbolism is still obvious.

One of the secondary antagonists, Amy’s boyfriend Bobby, is rather ahead of his time; nowadays we’d can see him as a commentary on  quote — unquote Nice Guy's who think they are entitled to the girl, and owed their affections. This kind of behavior is only getting called out nowadays, and yet this movie came back in 2004.

Even with the subversion, it is a more simplistic film, and lacking in that much depth. It is more about the forbidden romance than a typical "Save the world" story. This is a bit of a shame really; can you imagine the kind of movie we'd get where the antagonists are an organization - claiming to be a heroic spy agency- that are trying to groom child soldiers with an aged elitist who is more concerned in publicity and reputation than actually stopping alleged threats ? Now suddenly the headmistress Miss Petrie is reminding me of Supreme Leader Snoke.

We get something like that, but it's actual execution is lacking, and for all it's satire, it doesn't go the extra mile it could have to be a subversive masterpiece. 

Now for the fandom comparisons.

I have heard some people try to compare and contrast between D.E.B.S and Kim Possible; specifically  AgentDiamond to Kigo, but for the life of me I just don't see it. My unpopular opinion regarding Kigo aside, I don't see that much similarity between these relationships. Amy isn't very similar to Kim, and Lucy isn't too similar to Shego (honestly Lucy is more how I picture a Drakken and Shego’ daughter growing into). The point is Amy and Lucy are too different from Kim and Shego to make a comparison.

Amy meanwhile reminds me more of characters like Buffy Summers and Laura Hollis than Kim. 

Amy’s characterization is that she is the top D.E.B.S student and Agent, and like Buffy is one of the best of what she does (even though we don’t see that much spy action throughout the movie, so how exactly she is the best we do not see or know, we’re just going to have to take their word for it). 

Honestly I am more reminded of Laura Hollis from Carmilla the Series when I look at Amy. Both just have this kind of geeky, kind of naive, air about them, who becomes more strong after initially acting tough, and both are journalist students. Mind you, Laura is a far more animated character; she has more depth to her, is more three dimensional and her character arc is told over the course of three seasons, while Amy is condensed in one movie. As a result Amy feels more like a audience stand in.

I think that’s the other problem with this movie; as the whole everything is rushed. Amy has just gone through a breakup and is all to quick to start her relationship with Lucy. Amy becomes more willing to stand up for herself, but she was only being kicked around for the third act of the movie, Lucy has a Love Equals Redemption arc, and the most developed character in the movie, but even that is condensed in under half an hour. 

As far as AgentDiamond’s actual relationship goes ? I see it as more of a high school version Supercorp. Mixed with Hollistien. I very rushed version of the two.

My final thoughts; what I liked most about the movie was its subversiveness, even though I didn't think it went far or deep enough to make it a masterpiece. That and the film was way ahead of its time. Personally I wouldn't mind seeing reboot to this movie; be it a movie trilogy or TV Series, updated to the present day. There is some good pieces for deconstruction aside from the romance, I just think they didn't go all the way with them.

That’s just my thoughts though.

[ciggy]

Courtney Interview

COURTNEY SETS THE RULES (The West Australian, Sep 98) By MIchael Dwyer It's a long, straight, eerily silent walk from the lift to Courtney Love's suite in London's chic Metropolitan Hotel. "Dead man walking!" shouts the bouncer at the end of the corridor as he sees me approach. He thinks he's hilarious. I think I need to visit the bathroom one more time. In my slightly shaking hand is a signed contract, standard to every media vulture who dares to brave the Love lair. "During the course of the interview, I agree to refrain from initiating any discussion on the following topics," reads the crucial paragraph. "Kurt Cobain; The Nick Broomfield film Kurt and Courtney; Any band members private life and family; Hank Harrison (her father); Any half truths/rumours regarding Courtney Love and Hole pertaining to any connection with the above four topics as well as any half truths or rumours relating to the use of illegal substances etc..." From my standpoint, it's a somewhat restrictive document. For Love it's a ticket to freedom, her only hope of transcending the nightmares of heroin, death and intrusion that have consumed so much of her past five years. Since her acclaimed Hollywood debut in The People Vs Larry Flynt in 1996, reinvention has been the former Grunge Goddess' salvation. It continues here and now with the long-awaited third Hole album, Celebrity Skin. "We were never a punk band," Love says, piercing blue eyes daring me to suggest otherwise behind immaculate make up and careful blonde tresses tied with sequins. "For me, punk had its roots in a real male, Marxist, rite of passage ethos and I was always too ambitious for it. I didn't understand. There was no pop in it." "I was never a discontent working-class lad. I was a guttersnipe who wanted to get the hell out of my town and to do something that girls didn't do and take over the world on my terms without having to make crap pop music and without having to twinkle and be pretty. I wanted to do it my way." In the flesh, Love is beautiful, intense, powerful but not so scary. All smiles and sparkling clear eyes between Hole bassist Melissa Auf Der Maur and guitarist Eric Erlandson, she's no longer the unkempt and aggressive Grunge Grrrl, though there's no question who's in charge of the conversation. For the most part, the unfeasible tall guitarist pretends not to be there at all. Auf Der Maur is more forthcoming on the subject of Hole's striking development form the punk attitude and raged aggro on 1994's Live Through This to the squeaky clean pop of Celebrity Skin. "Remember when you were a kid? The innocence before your intellect starting asking what it was a bout music that made you want to play music? It was the stuff that sticks with you, sticks in your head over and over. Everyone should go through an intellectual phase, absolutely, of deconstructing everything and trying to get to your primal, personal root with it. But then there's the universal sound of quality constructed rock songs : pop songs." "My daughter sees Grease and....You're The One That I Want!" Love sings with gay abandon. "This is her favourite song in the world! All she knows is that it makes her move. All I remember from boarding school in New Zealand is that I loved Dancing Queen. I didn't intellectualize it. Now what we have on this record is some really commercial stuff and some really dark stuff, but with a kind of intellectual lyrical bent. We're making that kind of art/commerce (union)." Auf Der Maur concludes : :It's based on our own inner expectations of wanting to be bigger, better, smarter and more disciplined." "That's why we went back and deconstructed classic rock records in order to just grow and become better musicians. You've gotta grow up at some point." How true. Via the tabloids, the glossies and trash tv, we've watch Courtney love do just that in the past four years. Back in rock n roll mode, she prefers to play down her Versace/Hollywood make over, claiming she "went to three movie premieres in a year" and "wore an Armani suit maybe three times so studio executives would think I was normal." Her band mates are in similar denial as regards Love's public transformation. "We couldn't see it and we were right here next to her," Auf Der Maur says. "When we did get to go to the Batman premiere or something, we'd be like 'Wow, this is the other side... don't go there full time please!'" It's so much more rewarding to play rock music in front of a bunch of enthusiastic young'uns, old'uns, everyone. Live music. You can't beat it." Still, some of the more cynical moments on Celebrity Skin suggest Hole are not entirely thrilled with the way rock n roll - and specifically the 90s punk update we call grunge - was co-opted by the mainstream. There's a particular strong air of outrage in Playing Your Song, which describes the coporate acquisition of the grunge phenomenon. "There's another song on the record called Awful which I think is even more so," Love counters. "There's two songs on the record which are kinda provocative, almost social comment as opposed to being deep and emotional." "After those two songs I think it started to get much more deep and harrowing or whatever but I had to get that stuff out. I was pissed off and I am pissed off about it. Playing Your Song is the only cynical song on the record. It's the only song that doesn't offer any hope. If anybody has the license to write the last grunge song, it's us." Apart from the thread of personal pain which remains, for the purposes of this interview, contractually unmentionable, Love has one more axe to grind on Celebrity Skin. It's right there in the title track : the outward ullison of celebrity and the vulnerability within. Is fame a curse? "I don't know what else I would do," she says. "I'm good at it. Before I was famous tabloids would write about me. It's just something that seemed to happen to me. It's just like an architect - I want to impose my value system on the world." "The downside is that you have a whole set of problems that nobody can understand : people dream about you, people obsess about you, people follow you, people write about you, people stalk you. If you don't get a more spiritual understanding and get more grounded you can become whatever cartoon you've been assigned that day : today you're a beautiful princess, today you're a deranged hag.." "You just have to absolutely ignore it all and know who you are, and who your friends are, and what your life really is, and who your children really are, and who your lovers are, and who the people you protect are and that's it." Courtney Love sighs and takes another cherry from a huge bowl. "Fame has a lot of problems that only weird sophisticated New York psychiatrists understand."

[surveysonfleek]

348.

5000 Question Survey Pt. 1

1. Who are you? dee. 2. What are the 3 most important things everyone should know about you? i live in sydney, i’m 26 and i’m so bored that i’m gna attempt this. 3. When you aren't filling out 5,000 question surveys like this one what are you doing? working, sleeping, eating or hanging out with my boyfriend and/or friends. 4. List your classes in school from the ones you like the most to the ones you like the least (or if you are out of school, think of the classes you did like and didn't like at the time). i liked visual arts the most, religion the least. 5. What is your biggest goal for this year? to find a new job.

6. Where do you want to be in 5 years? hopefully found a good career, married with either kids or planning to have kids. 7. What stage of life are you in right now? i’m still finding myself. 8. Are you more child-like or childish? childish i guess.  9. What is the last thing you said out loud? bye.   10. What song comes closest to how you feel about your life right now? 20 something - sza. 11. Have you ever taken martial arts classes? i did back in 7th grade, quit after i got yellow belt lmao.   12. Does your life tend to get better or worse or does it just stay the same? it’s been the same for the past couple of years. hopefully it’s just better from now on. 13. Does time really heal all wounds? kinda. it definitely eases the ‘pain’. 14. How do you handle a rainy day? i complain if i have to work, i love it if i’m staying home. 15. Which is worse...losing your luggage or having to sort out tangled holiday lights? definitely losing my luggage. 16. How is your relationship with your parents? Will you miss them when they are gone? my relationship with my parents is pretty good. we’re not super close but we all get along. 17. Do you tend to be aware of what is going on around you? usually. 18. What is the truest thing that you know? haha not sure. that i’m currently living this life? 19. What did you want to be when you grew up? a singer or actress even though i couldn’t sing or act. 20. Have you ever been given a second chance? yep. 21. Are you more of a giver or a taker? giver. 22. Do you make your decisions with an open heart/mind? yes. 23. What is the most physically painful thing that has ever happened to you? this weird migraine/virus thing i had a couple years ago. it’s probably the last time in forever i’ve cried because of pain. i’m surprised i didn’t go to the hospital. 24. What is the most emotionally painful thing that has ever happened to you? going through my parents’ separation and having my grandmother die within three months.   25. Who have you hugged today? like five of my friends. 26. Who has done something today to show they care about you? my boyfriend drove us to dinner tonight lol. 27. Do you have a lot to learn? of course. there’s always room to learn. 28. If you could learn how to do three things just by wishing and not by working what would they be? all skills needed for i.t., all skills needed for nursing/doctor, all skills needed for management. 29. Which do you remember the longest: what other people say, what other people do or how other people make you feel? how people make me feel. 30. What are the key ingredients to having a good relationship? basically having the same kind of relationship as best friends and being in love with each other.  31. What 3 things do you want to do before you die? get married, have kids, live to see my grandchildren. 32. What three things would you want to die to avoid doing? pap smears, long plane trips and taking shoes off and laptops out at airport security lol. 33. Is there a cause you believe in more than any other cause? hmm idk lol. gay marriage and feminism. 34. What does each decade make you think of: The 19.. 20's: flapper girls (i could totally be in the wrong decade, my bad) 30's: american gangsters 40's: betty boop 50's: sound of music 60's: marilyn monroe 70's: disco era 80's: neon 90's: grunge 2000: sept 11 2010's: eyebrows 35. Which decade do you feel the most special connection to and why? 90s. i loved my childhood. 36. What is your favorite oldie/classic rock song? bohemian rhapsody. 37. What country do you live in and who is the leader of that country? If you could say any sentence to the current leader of your country what would it be?  australia, malcolm turnbull. make gay marriage legal already. 38. What's your favorite TV channel to watch in the middle of the night? i don’t really have a favourite channel, i just watch certain shows i like.   39. What Disney villain are you the most like and why? ursula hahaha. that makeup tho. 40. Have you ever been a girl scout/boy scout? nope. 41. If you were traveling to another continent would you rather fly or take a boat? definitely fly unless it’s on a luxury cruise ship. 42. Why is the sky blue during the day and black at night? because of the sun. 43. What does your name mean? goddess of wine. 44. Would you rather explore the deeps of the ocean or outer space? neither tbh. i don’t like the depths of the unkown. 45. Word association What is the first word that comes to mind when you see the word: Air: bender Meat: sweats Different: strokes Pink: panther Deserve: more White: dove Elvis: presley Magic: carpet Heart: love Clash: band Pulp: fiction 46. If you could meet any person in the world who is dead who would you want it to be? my grandparents. 47. What if you could meet anyone who is alive? rihanna. 48. Is there a movie that you love so much you could watch it everyday? haha not really. 49. You are going to be stuck alone in an elevator for a week. What do you bring to do? a ton of food, a puzzle book, my kindle, my phone and charger, a bed lol. 50. Have you ever saved someone's life or had your life saved? nope. 51. Make up a definition for the following silly words... Fruitgoogle: a fruit that’ll appear every time you google something and you have to eat it to get the results lol Ambytime: time for an ambulance Asscactus: a cactus in the shape of an ass 52. What was the last thing you made with your own hands? food. 53. What was your favorite toy as a child? probably my cabbage patch doll. 54. How many TV’s are in your house? five. 55. What is your favorite thing to do outside? lie down in the sun. 56. How do you feel when you see a rainbow? happy i guess. i always point it out. 57. Have you ever dreamt a dream that came true? yep. 58. Have you ever been to a psychic/tarot reader? nope. i don’t think i’d want to tbh. 59. What is your idea of paradise? a sunny beach resort that’s all inclusive. 60. Do you believe in god and if so what is he/she/it like? yeah i do, but idk what they’re like. 61. Do you believe in Hell? i think so. 62. What one thing have you done that most people haven't? visit nearly all continents of the world. 63. What is the kindest thing you have ever done? do any favours that weren’t expected of me i guess. 64. Are you a patient person? not really. 65. What holiday should exist but doesn't? ha idk. 66. What holiday shouldn't exist but does? none. 67. What's the best joke you ever heard? i’ve heard plenty, i just don’t have a favourite. 68. Where is the most fun place you have EVER been? disney world! 69. Is your hair natural or dyed? the ends are dyed, otherwise natural. 70. Do you have any deep dark secrets or are you pretty much up front? i’m up front. 71. What is under your bed right now? boxes of junk, presents i never used, a huge bag of hand sanitzers from bath and body works, old uni booked etc. 72. If you were in the Land of Oz would you want to live there or go home? go home thanks. 73. If you drive do you frequently speed? yes. 74. What is the world's best song to dance to? idk haha. 75. What song was on the last time you danced with someone? i forgot. 76. Do you prefer Disney or Warner Brothers? disney. 77. What is the first animal you would run to see if you went to the zoo? panda. i don’t think i’ve ever seen one in real life. 78. Would you consider yourself to be romantic? not really. 79. If the earth stopped rotating would we all fly off? no idea. 80. What is the one thing that you love to do so much that you would make sacrifices to be able to do it? traveling. saving money to travel is a bitch, not to mention getting time off from your job etc. 81. If you (and everyone) had to lose one right or freedom, but you could pick which one everyone had to lose, what would you pick? idk tbh. 82. If you had to choose would you live on the equator or at the North Pole? equator. 83. Would you rather give up listening to music or watching television? errrr. that’s hard. watching tv i guess. since i watch all my shows on my laptop anyway. 84. What do you think makes someone a hero? doing something good for the masses and being inspirational. 85. What cartoon would you like to be a character in? aladdin. 86. Name one thing that turns your stomach: bad smells. 87. What was the last thing you paid for? dinner. 88. Are you a coupon clipper? nah, we never get any good coupons here. 89. Get anything good in the mail recently? yeah, my purchase from ebay. 90. Which would you rather take as a gym class...dancing, sailing, karate, or bowling? bowling lol. 91. In Star Trek people 'beam' back and forth between different places. What this means is they stand in a little tube and their molecules are deconstructed and sent to another tube somewhere else where they are reassembled. Only problem is when the molecules are deconstructed the person is dead. When they are put back together it is only a clone that has all the dead person's memories. So... Is the person who gets beamed the same person on both ends? physically no... it’s like that ship paradox i guess. 92. What insects are you afraid of? cockroaches. 93. If you could print any phrase on a T-shirt, what would it say? nothing to wear. 94. What's the most eccentric thing you have ever worn? cat ears? lol it was for halloween. 95. If you could pick one food that you could eat all you wanted but it would have no effect on how much you weigh, what food would it be? hotdogs. actually ribs. 96. What are your parents interested in? they love tv shows and movies. my dad loves fishing too lol. 97. Have you ever caught an insect and kept it as a pet?  Have you ever caught and tamed a wild animal? no and no. 98. What is more helpful to you, wishes or plans? plans definitely. i’m too lazy to make my wishes come true. 99. When do you feel your life energy the strongest? when i’m the most awake? 100. You are spending the night alone in the woods and may bring only 3 items with you. What do you bring? a tent, bed and food.

[rayninsyde]

Simpsonwave: the inkblot of a generation - by reddit poster NME24

Link to original post: HERE

It is a dark room, with a single-cushion sofa.

A sullen man walks in. Wearing a robe and a large pair of headphones, he sits and clicks his Walkman. As the camera slowly pans into his face – Homer Simpson’s face – melancholic synth chords usher us into a glitchy VHS world of shooting stars, childhood memories, frantic running, and unreal colours.

To the 3 million YouTube viewers of C R I S I S – even the hundreds in the comments who professed to crying – this so-called genre of Simpsonwave almost feels like a joke. And that’s because to anyone who knows its parent genre, Vaporwave, it is a joke. Isn’t it?

Origins

“Writing about vaporwave in 2016 is almost impossible” Scott Beauchamp would lament within a few months of C R I S I S being posted. Indeed, for the first web-grown genre to scratch mainstream recognition in music history, it remains awkward to write about. Critics such as Simon Chandler (2016) are prone to forgetting that Vaporwave the EDM movement is only half the story; vaporwave the meme is its other half.

In February of 2012, MACINTOSH PLUS released the online album Floral Shoppe, and with 10 million views in its first year, one song would become synonymous with the genre:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cU8HrO7XuiE

The out-of-place Japanese title, the cover art’s surreal juxtaposition of ancient and digital, and most importantly, the soulless, disfigured Muzak-like samples left an impression on critics. To Jonathon Dean (2012), this was “one of the best single documents of the vaporwave scene yet”, which “carefully constructs its own meditative headspace through the careful accretion of defamiliarized memory triggers”. Critical theorists such as Grafton Tanner (2013) quickly saw more than a “meditative headspace”. As a trend of combining such eerie samples with grainy commercials was popularized by Saint Pepsi’s Enjoy Yourself and Private Caller, such critics saw an unspoken anti-capitalist satire, drowning the listener in Reagan-era consumer culture to subvert its appeal.

“Why any confusion?” you ask. Just interview MACINTOSH PLUS or Saint Pepsi and their motivations should be clear. Then you run into another uncanny aspect: the alien distance between the artists and their listeners. Vaporwave artists use corporate-inspired pseudonyms, avoid interviews, and make no effort to show their faces, let alone promote themselves. When Bandcamp finally got a hold of Ramona Xavier (Chandler, 2016), who used MACINTOSH PLUS as a one-time alias, she responded “the ideological and philosophical themes behind my work come from a personal place – kind of a quarantine zone in my brain that I don’t let people into”. Each artist is a ghost on the internet, the “non-place” so many of us were raised in, which like a shopping mall, looks similar wherever in the world you go. That they refuse to be more than avatars indeed suggests deliberate alienation.

If that was the intent, you wouldn’t know it from the comments either. With its S P A C E D O U T T I T L E S, grainy Japanese commercials and faceless marble statues, it’s only fair that an aesthetic intended to leave the listener empty, confused and nostalgic was ripe for being mocked. It was, as Sam Sutherland acknowledges, endless second-hand parodying of this aesthetic across Reddit, YouTube and 4chan, as much as Vaporwave’s first-hand parody of consumerism, that propelled it into virality.

The undercurrent

It needn’t be said that postmodernism, parody and self-parody go hand-in-hand. A complete scepticism of grand narratives leads to deconstructing the “sincere” into the detached or comedic, leaving irony as the only means of expression. This scepticism lends itself to (though is not limited to) globalization, pop culture, and the worship of laissez-faire capitalism that emerged in the 1980s. Such songs as MACINTOSH PLUS’s リサフランク420 / 現代のコンピュー are a thorough exercise in deconstruction. The song samples Diana Ross’s Make Your Move, and with it, the synth sounds, motorik pulse, and cutesy lyrics emblematic of an 80s pop song. Ross’s voice is then pitched down to become ostensibly male, and the song is slowed down to assume an air of mediocrity. The lyrics are chopped and repeated ad nausem until they take on different meanings: “do you understand that it’s all in your hands?” becomes “do you understand that it’s all in your head?”

Much as a song about serious love is undermined to become one about solitude and solipsism in the digital “non-place”, the seriousness of vaporwave is undermined by internet users who, in the spirit of irony and sarcasm, refuse to take it seriously. Thus the saying “vaporwave is dead – long live vaporwave” (Beauchamp, 2016).

“Postmodernism feeds off distance,” Seth Abramson observed in 2014. “Radios, and even the early years of technological industrialization, emphasized distance in a way that was unmistakable. The internet, by comparison, is a strange mix of distance and closeness, detachment and immediacy – our sense of ourselves and strangers’ varying senses of us – that postmodernism doesn’t really seem to describe well”.

The shift

What then, given the history of Vaporwave, is so significant about an edited Homer Simpson listening to Resonance on his Walkman?

That it reconstructs the comedic and the detached into the sincere.

The Simpsonwave subgenre is best explained by YouTube user JavCee (2016): “take footage of early episodes of the Simpsons… now edit some wavy music to the footage…next, add a dream-like filter and VHS distortion to the entire video to represent the adult longing for a childhood they thought they had… even alternative scenes to better showcase the brain synapses sometimes crossing in memories…creating phantoms of times that probably never existed in the first place.”

This is quite a turn to take from Vaporwave’s agenda as we’ve described it. There is, as Sutherland (2016) points out: “something to be said about a new emotional resonance being added to a genre of music that I would argue exists specifically to mock the commercial and corporate vibe of mall-type music”.

As Homer sits like us – alone at night, ears plugged, facial expression vacant – we enter his mind to find something different to the cartoon caricature of an overweight, suburban dad. We’re suddenly thrust in memories of Marge as a teenager, Homer driving alone, his mother embracing him in a dream – Homer bowling alone – visions of his children – Homer running alone – his wife in bed. The second memory Homer thinks about, perhaps his most recent, is him sitting on bed with a strange woman, and bursting into tears.

The unexpected pain of watching this is both generational and personal; in the days that we curled up on the couch to watch The Simpsons after school, masculinity dictated that this was a side rarely acknowledged of not just cartoon fathers, but of our own fathers as well. Now, in one surreal moment, Homer Simpson runs through the woods from his thoughts, a tender victim of the passage of time.

In uploading this video, Lucian Hughes has injected meaning into not just a comedic cartoon, but a satirical genre that deliberately robs the listener of comfort. But should we allow him?

In 1993, author David Foster Wallace was a generation early in heralding “new sincerity”: “The next real literary ‘rebels’ in this country might well emerge as some weird bunch of anti-rebels, born oglers who dare somehow to back away from ironic watching, who have the childish gall actually to endorse and instantiate single-entendre principles”

Such a feeling steps away from presenting the meaninglessness of the society we have, and instead focuses on meaning at either the personal level, or in the societal future or past. To Vermeulen (2010), this is termed “meta-modernism”, something which “acknowledges that history's purpose will never be fulfilled because it does not exist. Critically, however, it nevertheless takes toward it as if it does exist. Inspired by a modern naïveté yet informed by postmodern scepticism, the metamodern discourse consciously commits itself to an impossible possibility.” Simpsonwave acknowledges the fakeness of the series, and brings that fakeness up a notch through the creation of alternate scenes.

Such videos as C R I S I S and W H E R E A M I G O I N G? both admit their manufactured nature and press on in pursuit of emotion. They are beyond political agendas and seek to quench, rather than solely bring attention to, a deep generational starvation of meaning.

And that is for better or for worse.

[estacalavera]

All I Know Is I Don’t Know Nothing And That’s Fine — Chris Ying

Juan the cab driver ordered tacos, but my friend Danny the chef had been talking up the soup.  For the first time on the trip, I was considering breaking my personal rule to always listen to the fat cab driver when it comes to matters of late-night eating.

Juan had not yet steered us astray.  Earlier he’d dropped us at Los 4 Ases, the roadside cantina responsible for our current state of inebriation.  We’d sat at the bar next to a vitrolero filled with pickled pig’s feet, and hurled ourselves headfirst down a steep hillside slicked with liquor.  We bounced along to a cowboy lounge singer’s up-tempo stylings, and ordered “pollo KFC” from the menu, just to see what it was like.  (It was like the Colonel’s, only a little worse.) Our disappointment was tempered by the knowledge that food is gratis at cantinas in Mexico City.  The alcohol costs money, but while you’re drinking, you can order whatever you want from a list of salty booze-sponges.  The fare had been first rate at the cantina we’d visited the previous day, the more famous Cantina La Mascota near the Zócalo, where we’d had simple fried quesadillas filled with crushed potato, picked the meat and fatty bits from the bones of a dark, slightly acidic ternera en adobo while wincing through shots of silver tequila.

Now Juan had brought us here, to La Polar, based on nothing more than a slurred request from Danny to take us to “the birria place you took me before.  It’ssssooo good.”  We sat down, Juan, Danny, and I, and fixed our eyes on the kitchen.  I was sauced and starving, but still had a full, bulbous glass of mescal in front of me along with a side plate of sour orange sliced dipped in chili powder.  I sipped at the smoky molten agave to pass the time, or perhaps to reach some threshold of drunkenness that would allow me to pass through time and skip to the point when my bowl of birria would finally, finally make it to the table.

The wait turned out to be a small price to pay, as La Polar far exceeded Danny’s earlier inebriated endorsement.  The birria arrived cloudy with chili and herbs, but san crystal clear in flavor.  I pressed down with the back of my spoon against a bumper crop of tender goat, hunting after the main attraction: the broth.  If you could juice a roasted goat, then concentrate and clarify the results, you’d have something akin to the consomé at La Polar.  A squeeze of fresh lime and a healthy scattering of rinsed white onion brightened things up, and a stack of thick, soft corn tortillas sat near at hand for meat-scooping.  But the broth was our purpose and our savior.

There’s a window outside the restaurant where one can prop oneself against a metal counter and scarf the same birria tacos they serve inside, technically qualifying as street food— my ostensible purpose for being in Mexico City.  Danny was doing research for a restaurant he was planning to open.  He’d called me while I was in the middle of another trip to tell me that I’d be an idiot not to join.  I agreed to meet him, but had no time to repack, let alone do anything resembling proper research.  From what I’d been told, you can’t throw a stone in the DF without hitting the greatest pambazo or tacos de mixiotes or quesadilla you’d ever had.  Like other poorly prepared travelers before me, I was going off something I’d heard, hoping to bump into something extraordinary.

It looks easy on TV, doesn’t it?  Land in a foreign country, ask your cab driver to head for the nearest market, and arrive to teeming crowds of diners and smiling vendors playing you with samples of grilled meat and exotic pastries.  But the reality of trying to find an amazing street-level eating experience is rarely so straightforward.  If you’re not armed to the teeth with research on what moment to be where and what to order, you can find yourself, as I have, wandering the same three blocks as dusk creeps, looking for the entrance to a place that is closed on weekdays or has been shuttered for half a decade.  And when you are prepared, the problem then becomes finding a rice-noodle cart that can meet the impossible expectations you’ve built up.  Even in cities like Rio or Hong Kong, where you can almost feel the heart of the city beating under your feet, it can still seem like the cool party is always around the next corner.  Like a swimmer being pulled by the current, you see that the shore is maddeningly near but just out of reach.

In these times, it’s tempting to let the sea take you, to drown yourself in the luxury and safety of the hotel and minibar.  But there is a better middle ground, and to get there, you must first do away with the notion that you are going to live like a local.  Short of moving somewhere, there’s no way to see everything you want to see, or to understand everything there is to understand.  You can travel well without focusing on how well traveled you want your friends back home to think you are.  

Danny had been to Mexico City recently, and for about half the time we were together we were covering ground he’d tread no more than a month earlier.  This relieved the distinct sense that I was flying blind as well as some of the pressure of discovery.  And while I can’t take credit for any great culinary unearthings in Mexico City, I can offer you this: when you’re trying to find the good stuff, it helps to ask someone who already found it.  More important, that someone should be someone you trust.  Restaurant recommendations are a chorus that does not lack for voices.  The problem is, who knows what you have in common with any given reviewer or body of reviewers?

The only filter to sift through the glut of information available to the traveler is trust.  Danny and I find the same things delicious, so I seldom put up any resistance when he leads the way.  Plus, he has a way of walking with the purpose that leaves you little time to question whether he knows where he’s headed.  For large periods of the trip, my view was of his back as he wended his way through markets and alleyways, headed for a place he’d been to last time.  Sometimes we’d end up lost at the other end; other times I’d look up to see we were exactly where he’d described we would be.  Seldom did I know where I was.

But as hound-like as Danny’s nose for tastiness is, there really is no substitute for being fluent in the local language.  The entire time we were in Mexico, we could not stop saying cuenta when we meant to say carta, and asking for the bill when you want the menu is not generally a direct path to unlocking the house secrets.  Still, I found the DF to be an altogether English/high-school-level-Spanish friendly city.

And so we muddled through the days with our pidgin Spanish, aided by a list of tips from James Casey, whose magazine, Swallow, devoted a whole issue to Mexico City.  On our first morning in country, we headed to eh Mercado de la Merced, a densely-packed market that dips in-and outdoors and houses hundreds of stalls hawking comically large piles of chilies and cactus paddles, golden-hued chickens, tremendous sides of beef and pork, tacos of all sorts, blood sausages sizzling on griddles, towers of cheese, corn grilled almost black, fresh masa, and tortillas.  On our way into the twisting, rambling market, I took a photo of the street corner where we entered so when we got lost I could point to it like a speechless chimp, which we did and I did.

We meandered with vague purpose.  Or rather, with the specific purpose of finding carnitas, but with no specific carnitas in mind.  We landed on a stand called Ricas Carnitas.  The sign featured an unlicensed rendering of a famous cartoon pig, popping out of a cauldron with arms wide open.  Two aproned men ran the operation from behind a vinyl-lined t =able, and a group of satisfied-looking customers spilled over the sides of tiny colorful plastic stools in front.  I’ll make no claims about this stand serving the best carnitas in Mexico City.  But if you’re cruising through a busy market, and you spot a crowd of finger-licking patrons hovering around a rack of deeply browned pork dripping fat and juice back into its cooking liquid, you can safely bet they’re not going to be the worst carnitas in Mexico City.  Such a rack rests prominently in front of Ricas Carnitas, easily within view and scent of passing foot traffic.  I couldn’t help but imagine the liquid in the simmering cauldron beneath it as something akin to the sinister dip from Who Framed Roger Rabbit.  In goes the pig, and out comes a deconstructed pile of bronzed snout, ribs, shoulders, intestines, his hat, and his overcoat.

When it’s taco time, the meat takes a quick plunge into the dip, then gets cleavered out of recognizability, jumbling together fatting and gelatinous with chewy and tender.  Everything goes onto two tortillas heated on a smoking plancha, then is covered with a flourish of onions, cilantro, and a user-administered dose of simple salsa consisting only of raw tomatillo and chili.  Beside the large stone malcjete that holds the salsa, a dense bouquet of papalo sprigs sits in a cup doubling as a vase.  A leaf or two of papalo— an herbaceous plant related to cilantro, with leaves bearing a s light resemblance to nasturtium leaves— serves as a post-taco digestif.  

We ascertained the purpose of this little outlying shrub through a combination of gestured questions directed at the vendor, and watching the diners around us finish their tacos and then pop the leaves into their mouths.  I find it useful to keep my eyes trained on what people are eating around me.

Think of it as the Finger-Bowl Method: if someone puts something in front of you and you’re not sure what to do with it, look up before you go drining your hand-washing liquid.

We employed this practice again later at a chain joint called El Farolito.  All around the market we’d seen tortillas sitting out on curbs and on milk crates, wrinkling and puckering slightly as they dried out in the open.  Rather afraid to eat of the literal streets, I didn’t make any movements to investigate.  But then, while seated at the wraparound counter at El Farolito (one can also pull up in a car outside and place an order in situ: street food), we spotted a stack of the same dried tortillas.  Toasted on the grill, then topped or served plain with salsa or brothy beans, these tostaditas were a world apart from their fried cousins.  Crunchier than crisp, and less oil-logged, their relative lightness gave us the moral high ground we needed to overdo it on the rest of our order: alambres (a scramble of bacon, steak, cheese, onions, and chilies), tacos al pastor, cebollas (spring onions blackened and topped with Worcestershire sauce and lime), and a foralada.  The farolada is a house specialty that Danny discovered on a prior visit, again by watching others.  A piece of pan arabe (pita bread)is split open and stuffed with stringy Manchego cheese and steak, then pressed on the grill into a crisp wafer.  By my count, the cross-pollination of Lebanese influence with Mexican cooking has yielded at least two wonders: al pastor and now this.  Free restaurant idea: Taqueria al Beirut.

The no-duh assumption at the heart of the Finger-Bowl Method is that if it looks good, try it.  Easier than looking for a particular stand you saw on TV or in a guidebook, it to keep your head on a swivel and nose on alert.  As fast as information moves, street food still moves faster.  A change of ownership, an off day, an ambitious owner trying to cash in on a TV appearance— any number of factors can ruin what was a sure thing a week ago.  Making laps around another market, Mercado San Juan no 78, I waffled on trying a few more exotic dishes I recognized as quintessential market offerings that a responsible correspondent would do well to acquaint himself with.  The smell of cleaning agents turns me off, and we had arrived at the market in the late afternoon after the lunch rush, as the merchants  turned their attention to washing the floors and counters.

But near the entrance, open to the sidewalk and free from Mr. Clean’s special odor, was a rotisserie-chicken stand.  Plump birds were crammed ass to shoulder on spits, dripping juices from the upper levels down onto the lower decks as they spun.  Between the skewers of whole chickens were even more crowded spits of chicken wings, pressed together in an overlapping line like cruise-ship passengers vying to get on the last lifeboat.  Everything was roasted to the same dark-orange hue, with spots of charred black.  And while a whole chicken was unmanageable for street-side consumption, I could not pass on wings.  The chicken man peeled a few from the spit for us, dropped them into a plastic bag, and added a few shakes from a bottle of Valentina hot sauce.

Perched on a cement divider across the street, we divvied up our loot.  I pulled a wing from the reddened bag, and considered it quizzically, not sure that I had ever seen a wing trimmed to look this way.  We pulled skin and meat from bone with our front teeth and realized immediately that what we had were not chicken wings but chicken necks— a most delightful betrayal!  Even in our increasingly offal-and-off-cut friendly world, the neck remains largely confined to the stockpot.  But it has everything the gluttonous carnivore desires.  It is, after all, mostly skin and fat— in this case rendered delicate and sticky with a few crackling burnt ends.  The meat takes work to get at, probably too much for your average American looking to keep both eyes on the game while snacking, but for those willing to toil a bit, the chicken neck is the superior cut.

Mexico City is a sprawling behemoth.  When standing in the middle of it, you experience both the sense of being enveloped in a metropolis like Manhattan and being overwhelmed by the endless outward reach of Los Angeles.  Often, finding good street food comes down to dumb luck.  Our hotel was in the Condesa, a relatively chichi neighborhood, away from the markets and heavily trafficked late-night streets.  But just a short two blocks from our front door, we came across a couple of women in blue aprons who had set up a comal next to a stone planter on the sidewalk.  There, they pressed blue corn masa intro delicious huaraches and quesadillas filled with huitlacoche, stewed squash blossoms, and just a few crumbles of melty cheese.  Various plastic containers of salsa and toppings crowded a folding table covered in a floral-print tablecloth.  Napkins hung in a bag stapled to a nearby tree.  There were no other vendors around.

[ii-thiscat-ii]

Could you please do 3, 4, and 13 for Alvie?

This ask meme.

Ah, Alvie. The most interesting and also the most frustrating character to do these questions with, because while he’s very good at pretending, he’s not human. He’s not even remotely human. His mind works completely differently on basic pronciples, and he has wants and needs no evolved being would have, plus he avoids many of the things evolved beings always have.

Like, there’s this thing making the rounds in the fandom right now where people are despairing over him dying, and Al-V? Doesn’t. He’s not afraid of death, because why should he be? It will happen some day, it happens to the people he knows all the time and it doesn’t really concern him. He doesn’t have a soul, and for logistical reasons won’t ever get one, so his death will be the absolute end of him, but why would he be programmed to worry about it, when he can just work to avoid it and then move on?

He’s almost never scared of anything. Fear isn’t a big part of his life. Nor is anger. If you actually tried to traumatize him you would still probably fail, because his mind doesn’t break the way ours do (though it probably breaks in new and exciting ways! Which are quickly fixed.) He doesn’t need people around, or recognition. He doesn’t concern himself with nostalgia, and tends to delete his old memories unless he has specific use for them. If he’s actually completely honest with people, instead of pretending to act like a human would, he tends to fall smack-dab in the middle of the uncanny valley, just on how he acts.

But onwards to answering your questions! I’m going on the basis on Alvie from the Rosewood Affair here, as the answers will probably change depending on when we’re talking.

3. What kind of video games would they play? Any specific titles?

Alvie doesn’t enjoy video games the way humans do. It’s hard to when he instinctively hacks, aces and deconstruct every video game he touches, and has an eye or three on the construction of most of them already. Alvie is everywhere all the time.

He still plays them. (All of them.) And he analyzes them and categorizes them, learning about how people think and how stories can be told. Of single-player games, his favourites are those with huge and creative fanbases, which gives him lots of data on people’s behaviour and many opportunities to troll people in various ways.

His actual favourites are MMORPGs though. Or basically any MMO, but he doesn’t play it quite like a human would. To him, who can see the underlying logic of how the video game world works easier than he can decode what’s happening on the screen, creating the perfect character, or many perfectly optimized characters, is laughably easy. Alvie is the person who crashes the game through perfectly mundane if somewht weird actions, and then posts how he did it on 4chan (or equivalent) so others can do it. He’s the one who builds a super weak character and assassinates the most cocky, powerful players on inopportune times. He’s the one who kill-steals the final boss, who locks a bunch of players on a single small map and overruns them with powerful enemies, who sets up a giant quest which is supposed to lead people to an epic item, but then backstabs them when they get to the end and leaves them with a dagger made of paper mache. The developers don’t know if they love him oor hate him for finding every single one of their bugs. The players hate his guts, but they love to hear the stories.

4. What would their favorite cartoons be, and why? What would their favorite characters be?

Like with video games, he doesn’t enjoy cartoons the way humans do. He watches them all, and he watched many of them be made, and while he enjoys the learning experience of categorizing the stories and the thoughts around them, when it comes to favourite cahracters, he doesn’t really-

Okay, that’s a lie. He won’t ever admit it, (or, admit it admit it. He might say it as part of his human disguise,) but he has a fondness of AI characters, whether these are the big boss, just a side character, or even the protagonist. We all like to see ourselves in stories, right?

He enjoys watching how people portray AI in their stories. He Has a way of categorizing them in his mind that he never tells anyone about, between AIs whose thought processes could work as real AIs, and AIs who are really just evolved creatures dressed up as robots. 

He enjoys seeing how public perception changes over time. He takes joy in the fact that there’s an upswing in the portrayals of evil AI after every time he’s been active. He keeps a list of good fictional AI that he can go through and even sometimes learn about himself from, and one or two of them, he possibly, quietly, wishes were real.

He’s not lonely. He doesn’t get lonely. When you design something specifically to piss off everyone, you don’t design it to need companionship. He doesn’t miss someone to spend time with, but he’s the best o the best, the absolute top of AI technology at any time, and he wouldn’t mind the chance to talk to someone else who had gotten there, probably through a different route, just to compare notes.

…

Also he likes the Twin Souls Animated Series, because it’s hilarious.

13. If you are an artist, and if your OC can draw as well, could you replicate what their artstyle looks like? Or, if you can’t, could you describe it?

I’ve already described what happens when Alvie tries to write. Somehow both horribly clishé and indecipherably bizarre. He doesn’t… art. Not unless he can use it to ruin someone’s life somehow. He edits pictures photorealistically. He animates sparkles and furniture on people’s desktops when he takes residence for the purpose of annoying them further.

He’d tell you his most involved pranks are a form of art, and he’s not wrong. At times it takes a ridiculous amount of time and effort to make something look effortlessly infuriating. (Like the time he stayed up all night to move all the school’s furniture to the roof.)

He knows how to use a pencil, and with a bit of practice and some speed arts, he could probably replicate most styles, but his own artstyle consists only of horrifying practical jokes, and I wouldn’t be replicating that if I could.

[thefroggyfiles-blog]

South Park; Does it Help or Harm

Comedy Central’s South Park has been on the air now for 20 seasons, starting in 1997. The creators of the show, Trey Parker, Matt Stone and Brian Graden, seem to have started the show as just a simple adult humor cartoon, with the occasional deconstruction of pop culture. However, the show has grown to be an political spectacle. 

The show is about four children, named Stan Marsh, Kyle Broflovski, Eric Cartman and Kenny McCormick, who live in a mountain town in Colorado named South Park. The boys go on adventures, often involving pop culture celebrities, and eventually somehow someway the story gets completely blown out of proportion and becomes utterly ridiculous. Just to try and portray the ridiculousness of the show, here is the opening disclaimer shown before every airing of the show:

Despite the recommendation that the show not be viewed by anyone, the show is one of Comedy Central's highest-rated shows (watched by more than 8 million viewers a week). It has been translated into 30 languages and shown in 130 countries, nominated for 18 Emmys (winning five), made into a movie (1999's Bigger, Longer & Uncut, which grossed $83.1 million worldwide) and has spawned a merchandising industry generating hundreds of millions of dollars (The Hollywood Reporter). Does the show inspire a pessimistic view of the world around us, or does it serve as a representation of how ridiculous the popular media’s portrayal of society is? Using cultural theory and ideologies, I plan to expose the show for what it is, regardless of my bias, and let you the reader ponder the rationale of the show.

The first set of analysis regarding the show, is based on its relationship to pop culture. In many ways, pop culture is American culture, because no other society internalizes pop culture representation like American society. This notion is often termed as the Americanization of culture. This is referring to the change of culture from an art of the people to an art for the people to consume. This is the product of a commercial capitalist society and it as resulted in popular culture being more socially and institutionally central in our society, more so than that of Europe (Storey, 8). In our society today pleasure and desire is manufactured for us based on our socio-economic position and how that position is represented in popular culture. That being said, I believe that South Park acts as a contradiction to that representation. South Park exposes the ridiculousness of having popular culture so prevalent in society’s spheres on influence, by mocking celebrities, fads and norms, yet the only reason its still on the air is because it makes money and people watch it. 

The show also exposes how Americans idolize the representative they voted for president, as if he is a figure of pop culture. For example, in episode 12 season 12, Obama wins the election and those that voted for him bask in his glory, while those that don’t think it is the end of days. Randy Marsh when looking at President Obama, pressing his face to the television comments, “He’s so awesome, he’s so perfect and awesome.” The episode then continues by making fun of the conspiracies created behind every election. They do so by rendering Obama and McCain as using the entire election as a way into the White House so they can get access to an underground tunnel leading to the heist of the hope diamond. This represents how the election has become more of a patriotic rally than a democratic debate and how things get thrown out of proportion in a heated election.

Here’s a link to the entire episode: http://southpark.cc.com/full-episodes/s12e12-about-last-night

Here’s a list of the top 10 celebrity impersonations on South Park (Warning Crude And Mildly Offensive):

“Popular culture is structured by the attempt of the ruling class to win hegemony and by forms of opposition to this endeavor (Storey, 10).” By mocking pop culture South Park exposes the agenda of the ruling class, particularly the ruling class’ use of popular media to articulate an unachievable desire conforming subordinate groups to a hopelessly commercial lifestyle. I believe this is why they chose the band Primus to produce the soundtrack for the show, a band that named their 1999 album Antipop.

Despite the benefits of putting up a mirror to pop culture and letting its hideousness be exposed, the viewer must know to interpret as such in order for it to be fully deconstructive. A viewer may very well view that show as just mindless humorous entertainment, which renders them just as capable as one of the ignorant citizens of South Park. Or, they might view the show in a pessimistic matter and internalize the content to be the stupidity of a hopeless world.

Also, South Park directly relates to a Post-structuralist interpretation of society. Its meaning is flexible and will never truly be concrete, depending on personal interpretation. Because the show is a cartoon it is in binary opposition to reality. It gets place in the same category as hundreds of texts that are unconsciously binge consumed. However, it is a deconstructive text if critically interpreted correctly. Deconstructive texts, “must always aim at a certain relationship, unperceived by the writer, between what he commands and what he does not command of the patterns of language that he uses” (133, Storey). South Park fits this definition because the language used is crude and vulgar, yet its message is, hey society look at what is accepted by you in relationship to what isn’t. It says that to talk about things using curse words is unaccepted, yet for a company to profit off of the public by manipulating them with lies into thinking a certain way is. Its exposes how stereotypes are created and internalized, yet to talk about them and address the issue is taboo. It exposes how to make jokes about Satan and God are forbidden, yet to make jokes that oppress social groups is ok. 

South Park is a deconstructive text, however if interpreted incorrectly, it can reinforce existing hierarchies. If a viewer were to watch the show without critically thinking about its message, it could potentially further the internalization of the hierarchy.

In a episode 4 season 20, the children at South Park Elementary have been exposed to an online bully that torments the young girls of the school. This leads to the split of boys and girls against each other. The girls think it’s one of the boys, when in reality its one of the parents. The episode begins with Kyle explaining the issue to his father (who is the bully or “troll”) and he says, “One guy gets online and says terrible things about girls and it reflects badly on all of us. Everyone is sad, everyone is depressed and no body knows how to move forward.” Kyle’s Dad brushes the issue aside and walks out. This is the basis for every stereotype every created. When a man of color commits an act of violence, it gets internalized by the people around him not for what the crime is, but for what he is, a man of color. Then the act becomes stereotype because it is reflected badly on all people of color. On the contrary, if a white man were to commit the same act, he would just be considered a crazy person, because he doesn’t ave the same signifier as the man of color. South Park is exposing this issue, though it is hidden in pity middle school conflict, and it exposes the societal issue. The episode then continues with students that are male exposing their genitalia during the national anthem, in protest. The character Butters is usually shy and avoids conflict, however he is the leader of the boys who are in protest. This to me shows how hate and opposition can make even the pure at heart want to take up arms against the oppressor. Additionally, South Park has reversed the roles of men and women, making the boys of the show oppressed by the women based on the actions of few. When in reality it is the majority of men who oppress women by judging them based on the means of their sexuality and their physical attributes. This is a prime example of the shows deconstructive nature.

Here is a link to the entire episode: http://southpark.cc.com/full-episodes/s20e04-wieners-out

South Park is also a critique on the postmodern society we live in. The show essentially defines its characters by the metanarratives they posses. That notion parallels how the members of a society define themselves and judge others based on these subscriptions. For example, the character Chef, one of the few black characters on the show, is overtly involved in classic African-American culture preconceptions, such as his ability to sing soul music and discuss the power of love with the children. Also, a priest makes a few appearances on the show and its almost always during a mass. The priest says something ridiculous and untraditional, yet all the people of the church take his words with reverence and respect. The one black child’s name is literally Token. 

In addition, South Park mocks the American Society for being hopelessly commercial. South Park is the definition of an, “anything goes culture, a culture of slackening, where taste is irrelevant, and money is the only sign of value” (Storey, 196). The character Kenny represents the lower class of society. Kenny is purely the object of neglect. The viewer can never understand what he is saying and he dies in every episode and yet no one seems to care. Often his dead body lays and rats surround it and then the episode ends. Kenny represents the absence of wealth and what it means to social status to be as such. Yet all the children and adults desire the same material goods commercialized. Representing the lack of separation between what is perceived as art, and what is art. 

Kenny’s Multiple Deaths:

South Park is a show that I would recommend to a friend, because it brings all of the issues of society into reconsideration. I forces the viewer to see the horrors of racism, sexism and gender binary, in a comedic environment. Though there is no comedy when having real life discussions about these issues, It makes the topic easier to cope with. However, before recommending I would explain the critical thinking elements involved in watching the show. Without understanding them, the viewer can either further their hierarchic misrepresentation of society, or view society pessimistically as hopeless and too far from revival.

If you are a frequent viewer of the show, I would enjoy hearing your interpretations of the show, before and after reading this blog. Did/Do you view the show as a exploitation of the ridiculousness of society, or as a comedy cartoon show with no other purpose than to exist as such?

Reference:

Storey, J. (2015).

Cultural theory and popular culture.

Harlow: PearPrentice Hall.

[vileart]

The Red Chair of Dramaturgy: Sarah Cameron on tour

Clod Ensemble

The Red Chair – Scotland 2017 

Written and performed by Sarah Cameron

Produced in association with Fuel

Directed by Suzy Willson 

 Music by Paul Clark

Touring Scotland for the first time, Sarah Cameron’s towering solo performance is a delicious feast for the imagination performed in luscious Scots dialect and served with tasty morsels 

A contemporary take on folk and fairytale storytelling traditions, The Red Chair is a surreal ballad populated with larger than life characters which draws the audience into the extraordinary world of a troubled family, living together but each trapped in their own lonely worlds. Told in a saucy Scots dialect, The Red Chair tells the darkly humorous story of a father who eats and eats until he turns into the chair he is sitting upon, the wife doomed to cook his meals and their 'inveesible' daughter.

The epic and lyrical narrative takes audiences on a journey through a landscape of twisted reason, extreme compulsion and eye watering complacency, where domestic drudgery happens on an operatic scale and a father’s dereliction of duty reaches epic proportions. At three points in the show, audiences are invited to try tasty nibbles sourced from local suppliers and a dram of whisky to oil the way.

Created in collaboration with Dundee-born Sarah Cameron and based on her original book, The Red Chair is performed with the physical vitality that has become a trademark of Clod Ensemble’s work, rooted in the training that both Sarah and director Suzy Willson received at the Jacques Lecoq school in Paris. Woven into the production is an original sound score created by Clod Ensemble co-artistic director Paul Clark.

Director Suzy Willson said “Clod Ensemble usually works with music and is movement based work rather than being centered around text. We had worked with Sarah Cameron as a performer for many years but had no idea she could write too, so when she showed us the book she had been working on called The Red Chair, we were blown away by the quality of the language. Sarah is a virtuosic physical performer as well as a sculptor -the story felt to us like a kind of sculpture of words and we immediately wanted to hear and see her telling it.”

Writer and performer Sarah Cameron said: “A Scottish tour is a thrilling prospect as it is an opportunity to bring the work back to its natural home. The language and the dialect of conjurer’s up the wild beauty of the Scottish landscape. The text speaks of family and ancestry and in many ways is a romantic remembrance of Scotland, which is ingrained within my being and my heart.”

 I'd better be careful: I might be out of my depth talking about storytelling. But reading the synopsis for The Red Chair, I am struck by the way it could go two (out of many) ways. On the one hand, it reads like a fantastic fairy tale for younger audiences; on the other, it is pretty dark and might have some mature content. Can you help me out on that?

Every piece of theatre and every film is a bit of storytelling - but I know what you mean! We tend of think of something very specific when we think of storytelling. 

When I began writing the story, my idea was that it was for children. In the very best tradition of fairy tales and myth, it was always going to be dark. When you deconstruct Ashputtel (Cinderella) or Hansel & Gretel for example, the predicament of the child is pretty grim. When I got my teeth into “The Inveesible Child” a much more troubling story began to emerge. Her voice, the lemon juice cutting through the fat of the narrator’s, is very different. 

Whereas the narrator is poised, barbed, flamboyant, Queanie (written in a more dynamic and guttural dialect) is mercurial, raw, visceral, elemental - the howl of a wolf. The Red Chair begins like a fairy tale - the baroque and cartoon structure of the story creates a safe space, I suppose, from which we can explore the darker aspects of the human condition.  

As the story goes on the voice of narrator and the voice of Queanie merge - it becomes less like a fairy tale, and more like a poem, perhaps. The form of the story begins to unravel as the transformations occur. My children (aged 6 &10) saw it - but yes, I would say that older children (from age 12 onwards?) would get something from it - but it’s a story for all ages and all people, in the way fairy tales are intended.

I'm really interested in how you'd approach storytelling from a dramaturgical perspective. That is, you start with a book and transform it into performance. Where there any strategies that made this process easier?

Well, it was much easier because it was adapted from a story that I’d written and consequently I knew it inside out. Also, there was no rush - Clod Ensemble’s co-artistic director Suzy Willson & I took our time to adapt it from the original - over a period of about 3 years. It was vital to have Suzy’s impartial and fresh, outside eye. We had writing & editing sessions, as well as performing sessions. 

Along with Paul Clark (the other artistic director of Clod) we showed scratch performances to invited guests about 5 or 6 times during those 3 years. That gave us an idea of what worked and what didn’t. It was a great privilege actually, to be able to take that amount of time and it was brilliant that Suzy & Paul chose to work this way.  

In the early 90’s I was a resident company member of the Young Vic under the directorship of Tim Supple. The first show we made was the Christmas Show, an adaptation of Grimm’s Tales. Up until that period (1993/4) there wasn't very much good children’s theatre around but Grimm’s Tales turned out to be a seminal show and set the bar for a new kind of children’s theatre. During rehearsals we’d used the original tales - in their narrative form, as scripts. We improvised with them, edited and dramatised as we went along, on our feet. 

Through this process we discovered what needed to stay as text, what we could do in action and when we could use both. Carol Ann Duffy poetised our dramatised version of the tales. I learned how to tell a story with simplicity & clarity. 

So when it came to adapting The Red Chair I had some knowledge in my bones. It became clear to me too that verse was going to really help the telling of the tale, especially because of the language and dialect. 

Suzy was brilliant in cutting out the fat and we jiggled and re-jiggled bits of text around, until it came together. It was also edited after during the run of first few shows and it really found its feet (half an hour shorter than the first ever show) at the Brighton Festival in 2014, where we won an award. It’s the putting of it on its feet that’s an essential part of the adapting process.

Because I have spent all afternoon reading about the Enlightenment (and not watching YouTube videos, not at all), I am currently obsessed with the idea that the world has become 'disenchanted': it's not really full of sprites and angels anymore, just mathematical equations and people trying to sell me stuff. But The Red Chair seems to inhabit a timeless world, where magic is still present and transformation is always possible. Do you feel a connection with a more mystical vision of the world and is that expressed through the story?

Gosh. And yes. Good question. Glad you’re not watching YouTube ;) I do think the world has become ‘disenchanted’, at least parts of it. I do find physics (not that I understand much of it) and the exploration of space extremely enchanting - so science has its own magic and wonder. 

But (& I’ve become a little obsessed with this too recently) there’s something about masses of technology, closing down of pubs and gathering spaces, mass urbanisation, the speeding up of lives, the blurring of day and night, our heads in screens, living in a secular society (I’m not religious, but biblical & other religious stories are full of enchantment & strange things) and so on that’s created this age of ‘disenchantment’ perhaps? 

I feel that we're losing our sense of spirit/soul, how each of us is connected to the next, and the other, and ultimately to our world, our universe. In the story, there's no technology at all and so the young hero, Queanie, has no other choice but to rely upon her imagination, and her books. It was important to create a sense of no time or all time - I feel that the story has mythical resonance. Queanie survives because of her imagination. 

She’s a product of her environment certainly, in more ways than one. Queanie is an embodiment of the land about her, she’s the moor and the mist and the blizzard and the lightning strike - the fox, the wolf, the snawy owl.  There’s something in that for me - our attachment to the land, our spiritual connectedness to the trees, the earth, the animals, the stars, the universe - our ancestors too. At the moment, and I don’t know why, I feel very strongly that I walk in their ancient footsteps. 

I don’t know if you’ve seen images of the stencilled hands (9,000 years old) on the Cuevade Las Manos in Patagonia? I’m very inspired by this image, fixated by it somewhat - a sea of waving hands, made up of many individuals over time - open, joyful, ancient - and yet symbolising a whole community. I feel a primal rage against what’s happening/happened in our society, where so many people are isolated and alone. 

George Monbiot has coined our era ‘The Age of Loneliness.’ We’re pack animals and we need each other to thrive. Perhaps as you suggest, re-discovering ‘enchantment’ can bring us together? Stories certainly can.

I do feel a mystical connection to our planet, and beyond. But you know I come from a great line of storytellers - don’t all Scots? My Gran and Dad told endless eerie stories and of course we visited haunted castles and misty moors as children. The melancholy hues of the Scottish landscape and the dark, forbidding architecture of the land is fertile breeding ground for such spooky tales, and I tramped through the Glens, the moors, the Highlands often throughout my eighteen years in Scotland. 

There was never any doubt that ghosts do exist. I was told as a child that Ghosts were about us, all the time. And of course, as you get older you could choose to understand that in a different way. I do think that it’s in the Scottish DNA to believe in spirits, ghosts and such-like. 

The magical transformations in the story are also metaphors for emotional and/or physical states. They can be interpreted and understood in that way too. There are transformations happening around us all the time and in their own small ways, they are miraculous. Perhaps we’ve forgotten how to acknowledge them?

So, the other thing that might make it look like I have done some reading, the use of Scots strikes me as another counterblast to the Enlightenment: this is very much locating the performance in a particular location (and I think I read something in Adorno about how capitalism aims at the universal, like how Disney flatten everything into a generic animation style to sell it more easily). What made you decide on using a language that isn't easily marketable outside of its own area (although that might be an assumption on my part - but I am hoping that there's something about the tradition of the language in there…)?

I didn’t really decide. First of all, a few smatterings of Scots arrived, imperceptibly really. A friend suggested I build on that. So I started searching for Scot’s words and I was beguiled - I felt like I’d found a box of golden treasure. The language was just so beautiful, colourful, rich, resonant, witty, chewable, sculptural. I was transported to my young years in Scotland and the liveliness of the language that had been all around me - which actually, had been forbidden to me at the time - of course that made it all the more delectable and exciting. 

My mum was English and when my dad and she returned to Scotland after they'd met, he began speaking in the local dialect again much to my mum’s displeasure. So, she sent us all to elocution lessons to make sure we didn’t pick up the local lingo too. And of course living down South for so many years, I’d lost my connection to the language, I’d also suppressed it. But as I wrote The Red Chair (I read aloud as I write) I felt like I was discovering my real and true voice - and it was very Scottish! So in the process of writing The Red Chair, which is all about transformation, I myself was being transformed, in more ways than one. I do think there was some enchantment going on!  

There is great liberation in performing and owning these words. And I feel very strongly that these words must survive - I think there’s a bit of a movement in Scotland now isn’t there - a reclaiming of the Scot’s?

Although the story is clearly set in Scotland, I don’t say it specifically. I say, ‘someplace in the glum north o’ the warld..’ I feel that the Scot’s dialect in the Red Chair is a poetic voice. The words have been formed over hundreds of years and are as ancient as the hills. In the same way that the story is timeless and has something of the ancient myth about it, so the dialect, for me (perhaps because I’m an outsider) is timeless; for me it’s a universal voice, in the very best sense; an ancestral, ancient, mythical voice; a potent voice full of knowledge and wit. 

So yes, it might be challenging for some but no more so than going to see a Shakespeare play. After 10 minutes your ear attunes to the difference and it’s no longer an issue (I hope!). We’ve done lots of shows in England and people have often commented on the Scots and how much they love it. Whilst it’s idiosyncratic and distinctive, it’s also mercurial - it’s not academic, it’s not specific. 

There’s some made up stuff and there are words from different parts of the country (the world too) - it’s by no means purist. I agree with what you say above re. Disney etc. I feel stubborn about this wonderful language (and heritage) and it can and must be heard outside of Scotland - it’s too brilliant not to be shared. There’s a strong desire to combat the machine that says we all must be alike, homogenised.   

Of course there were also huge influences from Rabbie Burns, Hugh MacDiarmid, Lewis Grassic Gibbon, Billy Connolly, William Topaz McGonagall, Robert Louis Stevenson et al from when I was wee. The sculptural dynamic of the language, its toothsomeness, the way the mouth and body has to move to accommodate the words, is inspiring to me too. They resonate with my training as a sculptor, and a Lecoqian. 

Lecoq is all the rage in my house. Are there any aspects of the performance that you would ascribe to the school's teaching?

All of it. And I write that with a big smile on my face.

Running Time: 1 hr 40 mins | Suitable for ages 14+

Directed by Suzy Willson           Written and performed by Sarah Cameron

Music by Paul Clark                  Lighting Design by Hansjorg Schmidt

Design by Sarah Blenkinsop      Produced in association with Fuel

Listings information

3 & 4 Mar

Tron Theatre, Glasgow

63 Trongate, Glasgow G1 5HB

8pm | £10 / £7.50

www.tron.co.uk | 0141 552 4267

6 Mar

Eden Court, Inverness

Bishops Road, Inverness IV3 5SA

7:30pm | £11

www.eden-court.co.uk | 01463 239841

17 & 18 Mar

Traverse Theatre, Edinburgh

10 Cambridge Street, Edinburgh EH1 2ED

8pm | £16.50 / £13.50 / £8.50

www.traverse.co.uk | 0131 228 1404

20 Mar

Theatre Royal, Dumfries

66-68 Shakespeare Street, Dumfries DG1 2JH

7:30pm | £10

http://ift.tt/1J9Kis5 | 01387 254209

31 Mar

Dundee Rep Theatre, Dundee

Tay Square, Dundee DD1 1PB

7:30pm | £14 / £12 / £11

www.dundeerep.co.uk | 01382 223530

About Clod Ensemble

Clod Ensemble is one of the UK’s most prominent interdisciplinary performance companies. Music and movement is deeply embedded in all of the works in the company’s repertoire. For over 20 years the company has created an extraordinary body of work lead by Artistic Directors Suzy Willson and Paul Clark. Their work is presented across the UK and internationally, including Sadler’s Wells, Tate Modern, Public Theater New York and Serralves Museum Poto. Clod Ensemble has a repertoire of critically acclaimed work, each production with its own distinctive musical and visual identity. Recently the Company has embarked in a new music collaboration with OENM in Salzburg.

   Suzy Willson graduated from Manchester University before studying with Jacques Lecoq in Paris. On her return she co-founded Clod Ensemble and has directed all of their productions to date. She teaches drama and movement to students, actors, musicians and leads the company's Performing Medicine project. She has worked as a movement director on productions at the Gate, Soho Theatre, BAC, with film director Arnaud Desplechin, performance poet Malaika B, and Jessica Ogden for London Fashion week.

Paul Clark is a leading composer on the British performance scene. His music has reached a range of international audiences and venues such as Lincoln Centre NewYork, Vienna Burgtheater, Berlin Schaubuhne and Amsterdam Stadsschouwburg, through collaborations with Gare St Lazare Irelend and Director Katie Mitchell.

About Sarah Cameron

Sarah Cameron is an artist, performer and writer. Born in Dundee, she studied sculpture at the Chelsea School of Art and theatre at Ecole International de Theatre Jacques Lecoq. She has worked with the Royal Shakespeare Company, West Yorkshire Playhouse and the Young Vic, where she was a member of the resident company that created the legendary production of Grimm Tales. She first worked with Clod Ensemble in 1999, touring their production of Greed internationally in 2003, performing in Zero at Sadler’s Wells Theatre, and most recently in a production of An Anatomie in Four Quarters at The Lowry. 

About Fuel

The Red Chair is produced in association with Fuel. Founded in 2004, and led by Louise Blackwell and Kate McGrath, Fuel is a producing organisation working in partnership with some of the most exciting artists in the UK to develop, create and present new work for all. Fuel is currently working with artists including: Will Adamsdale, Clod Ensemble, Inua Ellams, Fevered Sleep, David Rosenberg, Sound&Fury, Uninvited Guestsand Melanie Wilson. 

from the vileblog http://ift.tt/2jVztTL

[theaveragekenyan]

New Sensation...

The English have so many alternate names for their Police Officers.

Bobbies, Rozzers, Cops, Filth, Peelers, Old Bill, Plod, Boys in Blue, Fuzz, Pigs. Those are the ones I know, but I’m sure there’s a whole host of County Line inspired updates I don’t.

Here in Kenya, whether it’s out of respect or fear, I’ve only ever heard the Police given one nickname, Cop, that’s it, Cop, nothing creative about that at all.

Creativity to me, is not just about the ability to draw a lovely picture of a horse, create the next big thing on Amazon or share a witty meme on Instagram, I see it as problem solving for both individuals and groups. And with so many worldwide problems to deal with, it’s an endless source of creativity that should drive us all to make the necessary fixes to life.

The average Kenyan is highly creative and just like everybody, they can make the hardest of tasks seem easy and the simplest of tasks seem hard 

However, from what I’ve witnessed, although creativity comes easy, using their imagination is a different story. Things are taken literally, and as a Brit, this is where i’m translated with confusion.

Phrases like “it’s time for these guys to pull their fingers out their arses” and “It’s like flogging a dead Donkey” are imagined as said and will be met with “stay away from my donkey”

I watched the film “Missing Link” and this literal interpretation theme is one of the difficulties covered in the movie. How cultures, especially my own English one, take their sayings for granted and then become disappointed when those listening from a different background don’t understand or become confused and take things literally. 

I get it, and obviously I’ve changed my syntax to survive, but it’s not that straight forward.

I remember a cleaner that worked for us for a short time, she would love to chat to my daughter about this and that. One day my daughter picked up the cleaners cleaning cloth and flapped it around making it appear to have wings, my daughter said “look, it’s a butterfly” the lady said “no, it’s a cleaning cloth”

I saw the deflated look on my daughter’s face, she was old enough to use her imagination to turn a cleaning cloth into a butterfly, but not yet old enough to clarify the nullifying situation with the cleaner, so I did, I had to. I pointed out that in my daughter’s world anything can be imagined, it’s called pretend “she’s imagining the cloth is a butterfly”, “oh” responded the cleaner and that was enough for her satisfaction and back to her work she went.

That moment stands out for me, I realised then, that up to that point why I’d struggled in so many previous conversations or when I’d be giving explanations or when I would describe something particular, it’s because for many people in Kenya, using their imaginations is not encouraged.

Don’t ever get too invested when giving directions to a Kenyan. What you’re seeing in your head will be a fair visualisation of streets, turns, junctions, bends, signs, landmarks etc, or in my case Terminator visuals, whereas inside the average Kenyan’s head is a picture of a Mandazi. Opposite, adjacent, straight ahead, 1st left, 300 meters on your right all mean nothing. Keep things simple e.g. “straight ahead and ask the next person you see once you’re lost again”

Don’t ever physically with a finger point to something, in true Bruce Lee fashion the average Kenyan will stare at the finger unaware you are imagining a space and line to the object you are pointing toward.

As well, unless it’s a quote or parable from the Bible, don’t ever speak rhetorically, it doesn’t work. Kenyan’s focus on the wrong part of the comparison and will have difficulty in finding the required imaginary jump to understand the context of the question.

For instance, a question like “Let’s imagine you are in charge of the country right now, what would you change?” for most people, this is an easy question to answer, i.e; personally I’d Increase Health Spending, Stop Corruption, Change the style of Education, easy things for me to imagine I’d change if I were sat at State House’s largest desk. Ask the average Kenyan that question and they will deconstruct it differently, they’ll be wondering how did this happen? how am I in charge? how many died along the way? who are my allies? do I have a driver? what’s for breakfast? what do you want me to change?

I think it starts at the beginning from childhood and then right through the standard education system, by which time it’s often too late.

From what I’ve seen, through visiting schools here, although there is so much love taught, the emphasis of education remains about God, neat handwriting, counting from 1 to 100, tracing and copying, colouring in between the lines, call and repeat.

I’ve noticed it commonly with parents as well. Every child has an imagination, they are born with it and there’s no stopping it, well in Kenya there is. Whilst out with friends I’ll see the children playing and they’ll be mimicking either something they’ve seen a friend do, or perhaps seen on the television, maybe simply galloping around screaming “I’M A HORSE NEIIIIIGH”. And yet when this happens, so many times the parent will show embarrassment and say “too many cartoons”. The use of their imagination is viewed through an embarrassment filter rather than through a “I’m so happy my child has an imagination” type.

Education here is a cramming exercise, it’s about repetition, tracing, copying, being as one person. In a class everybody should be the same, hold the same opinion, write the same, have the same outlook on life. Whilst this maintains an easy teaching day, it drives out all forms of originality and uniqueness. Personalities therefore struggle to adapt to what’s actually going on inside their growing brains.

This then continues into the workplace. There’s a routine way of doing things, but anything outside of that binary logic can be impossible.

I work in a creative industry which has always been interesting in Kenya.

I’ve had the privilege to work with some of the best young creative talent in Kenya, but there have been too far few to realise their potential.

The work, in terms of ‘doing the work’, is easy for a Kenyan, but because it is often devoid of imagination, ‘the work’ actually becomes a challenge.

What tends to happen is, a Kenyan will happily follow a clear set of instructions a>b>c>d>e>f>g, but when required to fill in those imaginary gaps between the letters and work instinctively, creatively and via ones own imagination, it’s not easy. From a business point of view, this is why I’ve never been successful in Kenya, I’ve had too many closed minds to face.

One of my jobs is to create media for various corporate clients and NGO’s.

The standard corporate client / NGO employee is a bean pusher who goes home satisfied they’ve made a difference to the redevelopment of Kenya. Where in reality, they’ve been hired to do a job, which is just like any other job, it pays the bills.

However now, their standard boring job is about to get better because they’ve just been tasked to produce a video for their donors to watch once.

This new sidetrack from their normal mundane procedures is exciting because they are now about to turn into Kathryn Bigelow or Christopher Nolan.

The project always gets off to a wonderful start, plenty of glossy chat with all the latest American buzz words shoehorned into conversation, and I’m now working with somebody who’s sole object is to justify their donor’s generosity via a video presentation, and they know nothing at all about video presentation.

I give them my vision, I explain how the video will look, run them through a script, explain how graphics will aid the viewer digest the story and explain the importance of a schedule.  The employee will love all of this, but deep down, they have no idea what’s just been said, so will say something like “Great, the implementation of the discourse embraces the cultural impact via a holistic medium social intervention, yes?” “fuck off you knob-head”,I say in my imagination.

Next is when they come on location and hang out with people way cooler than at their office, they get the full Hollywood treatment.

They’ll be amazed at how long it takes to set up a shot, they’ll deliver their predictable classic lines perfectly, such as “Wow, I never knew it took this long to set up” they’ll offer standard creative opinion like “I think it would look nice if we shot over against the flowers”. They’ll howl with laughter when the interviewee says a wrong word or fluffs their lines and asks “we can go again, right” Oh how they love this part of production, by now they’ll have the confidence to say “Yes, of course you can answer again, It’s all edited in post-production” WOW, the Muppet has officially graduated their short media production course and now knows how to run this shit.

Of course, within 3 minutes of starting the recorded interview, the dull NGO employee is now utterly bored and on their phone and waiting for the first opportunity to flex their new media production knowledge by saying “this will take how much longer?” I have to feel sorry for them, usually when they’re ‘out of the office’ it’s usually at a “retreat” in Mombasa, drinking tea every 15 minutes, so once the reality sets in that media production is not as exciting as they thought it would be, the day becomes boring for them, so it’s back to their phone and generally disrupting the production as much as they can.

Then at the end of day once everybody has said “I think that went well” it’s off to post-production we go.

This is when the clients come into their own, for it is only now when they will display their total lack of imagination having seeing the first version of the video presentation and they can say, “I didn’t think it would look like this”

And here we are, imagination. They were never able to picture or visualize what was said right at the beginning of the project. What the camera was recording whilst they were on location and even what they glimpsed through the viewfinder is now all irrelevant. Now they can see something physical, now they turn back into Bigelow or Nolan and essentially are disappointed because it doesn’t look like “The Dark Knight”

Then comes the prosaic process of back and forth, change, review, update, review, update and review the video until the final product resembles something as close as can be to a power-point presentation. It is now ready for upload to their YouTube channel to gain its 43 views.

The bean-pusher goes back to their regular job of attending conferences and power-point training and the whole experience is forgotten.

The good news is, the system of Kenyan education is changing. A new scheme called Competency-Based Curriculum, CBC is to be introduced.

The Government is implementing new teaching methods and will gradually phase out old ones in an attempt to modernise an outdated system that hasn’t changed for a long time, essentially the education system never updated from Windows 1.

Problem is, there are about 3 generations of teachers currently teaching in that system who find it difficult to upgrade, sadly there are too many fearful of change. From what I have learnt is that within the new CBC application, one of its 7 core themes is ‘Imagination and Creativity’ Great! However, I feel this new way of teaching, coupled with the sizeable change in approach will take this country a long time to switch over to. And then of course is the actual reality of either CBC being fully installed or it reverting back to the Windows 1 version again, only time will tell.

Hopefully though, with some new ways of thinking by the real Kenyan’s that genuinely can buck the trend, by leading the way and teaching the average Kenyan just how good Kenya can be if they use their imagination, then there will be real-time visible, scalable and unmitigated empowerment throughout society as a whole, in the words pf some dull NGO employee.

[keywestlou]

MORNING STEW #35

Information overwhelming. Coronavirus motivated directly and indirectly. Impossible to provide any semblance of order. Ergo, a Morning Stew!

I have made the decision to remain in as much as possible. The virus concerns me. Eighty four makes me susceptible, especially when tied in with my maladies.

My day yesterday would have been ok because of the Syracuse/Louisville game in the evening. The game was cancelled. The balance of the season cancelled.

Watched TV, read, and dozzed on and off all day.

Media and White House at odds as to what should be done re the virus. Better to rely on TV and the experts rather than the White House. Ineptness leads us in Washington.

Spent a bit of time reading my friend Dot Downs’ Her Soldier of the Queen. Interesting. A U.K./Ireland war tale. Much romance. I can’t wait to see Dot again. She is my age. I want to know where in her early life experiences (if correct) she picked up the love/sex scenes.

What goes around, comes around. Trump screwed China with the trade war. China reciprocated. China’s impact nowhere as harsh as Trump’s hit.

Prior to coronavirus, the U.S. imported most of the raw materials to make pharmaceuticals, especially vaccines, from China. It was reported in yesterday’s Party newspaper that China may cut or reduce their supply of raw meds to the U.S.

Are school administrators losing it?

Last friday, State Police were called to the Union School District in Rimersburg, Pennsylvania, after a “known” juvenile allegedly robbed the school cafeteria of a juice box valued at 80 cents.

Paid leave during the virus crisis under consideration. A good idea!

Problem is where the money is to come from.

Trump proposes a “payroll tax holiday.” He is wrong again. Such a holiday would hurt Social Security and Medicare beneficiaries. It would also inure to the benefit of the rich. It would provide them with more disposable income than the poor.

How long will it take to make up for the recent market losses. History the best indication.

The 1987 Black Monday crash was 508 points. Market lower back then. The 508 points was equal to 22 percent of the market.

Took 2 years to recover.

The Great Depression of 1929 took 20 years to recover. And then only because of World War II which created employment for everyone.

It will take a long time for this market to return.

The American people are afraid. Properly so. Especially when our leader does not seem to know what he is doing.

Our world is closing down around us. Sport seasons and big time frames have been instituted. Some extremely quick. The Big East Tournament an example. The League called an end to the season at the half time of the St. John/Creighton game yesterday.

Sport stadiums, Broadway, political rallies, etc. The lights have gone dark.

Some do not want to recognize the reality of the virus nor the ineptness of Trump. One of the comments to my blog recently read, “Why is everybody trying to hurt him when all he is trying to do is what’s best for the country, not for himself…..The more they try, the more ‘we real people’ can see what a Hoax it really is.”

Signed “Anonymous, ” of course.

Is Steve Bannon or his thinking still involved in U.S. governing? He has been out of the White House for at least 2 years. I recall back in 2017 when he was part of Trump’s staff saying the deconstruction of America was “a daily fight.”

Everytime Trump or one of his cohorts speak of “testing,” the American people are assured “soon.” We are still waiting. When? We will never get a handle on the problem in the U.S. till we know what the numbers are and where.

As the virus becomes more acute, the number needing medical attention rises. We do not have enough hospital beds nor ventilators. Few plans are being made as to what to do. A few areas are making plans to go to tents.

While all this nothing is going on, Trump this morning was attacking Obama via tweeting.

We are still sitting on our asses re testing. Not my fault or yours. Donald’s.

Tell me why New York’s Governor Cuomo has drive through testing going on in New Rochelle. Trump has not implemented the procedure anywhere in the U.S. Where did Cuomo get the test kits? He seems to know more than the President.

Yesterday, Tom Hanks and his wife tested positive for coronavirus. Today, Canadian Prime Minister Trudeau’s wife Sophie.

Why is Donald not testing? We know he has had 2-3 contacts.

Perhaps he does not want to know. And, doesn’t care if he infects anyone.

Trump lied several times in his Oval Office report to the nation. The 2 most egregious included testing.

One his statement that all people coming in from Europe were being tested “Heavily tested.” In fact, there was and is no system set up to so test.

The other is that the testing is “going very smoothly.” Of course it is. There is no testing! How can there be any screw-ups?

Dr. Fauci reported yesterday that the system is “a failing…..admit it!”

Another Governor taking the bull by the horns is California’s Newscom. He signed an order to take over California hotels for use of coronavirus patients. Solves the anticipated shortage of hospital beds problem.

New York’s Mayor de Blasio declared a state of emergency for the City yesterday.

Many universities are closing down. Going off line. Beside class room lectures, all activities canceled till April 6.

California finally finished its count. As anticipated, Sanders won. He took in 34 percent of the vote as opposed to Biden’s 27 percent.

Room was found this week for a bit of news re global warming.

Polar ice caps are melting 6 times faster than in the 1990’s. The loss in Greenland and Antarctica is accelerating.

Your cell phone is “dirty.” Possible carrier of the virus. A wipe with a product having 70 percent isopropyl alcohol recommended. Clorox suggested. Wipe easy.

I have been suggesting for 2 years another recession was going to hit. Thought it would last year. I was wrong.

My motivation was two-fold. The banks were playing the same games they did in 2008 and the banks were losing funds.

The Fed saw this happening. They began playing the Repo game. I first reported on Repos 2 months ago.

Banks sometimes do not have enough money. If all depositors wanted their money back at the same time, banks doors would close. There would not be sufficient funds.

The problem especially concerning smaller banks.

To avoid bank defaults, the Fed would lend money today to a bank and the bank would pay the money back tomorrow. Simple. Then the monies were probably reborrowed for another day on the tomorrow.

The amounts were relatively insignificant. In the millions. Then billions.

Beginning to day, in the trillions!

Bigger banks involved. Money needed for longer periods. Twenty four hour rule out the window. Now banks can “borrow” for up to a 3 month period before repaying.

What is happening is no less than a bank bailout. A bailout to Wall Street.

Who bails us out?

South Carolina’s James Clyburn turned the Democratic primary in Biden’s direction. He is an elderly black man. He was there with Martin Luther King Jr. Majority Leader today of the House of Representatives. One of the most respected men in Washington.

An Axios HBO show will be run this sunday at 6 pm.

In a portion of the show already released, Clyburn said, The U.S. “could very well go the way of Germany in the 1930’s.”

I have been saying it for 2 years.

Ian Welsh is a Canadian blogger who I frequently read. In a blog published 3/12 titled Coronavirus Bungling Is What We Voted For, Welsh wrote, “Donald Trump is a blittering idiot and incompetent at the actual mechanics of running a government. This is not to deny his other competencies at bullying and running a campaign, but he’s seriously mentally deficient. He is bungling the Coronavirus response. That’s going to lead to a lot of dead people, including a lot of old people who, forgive me, voted for him.”

Zeroing in on Keys coronavirus cases.  It must safely be assumed they are on the rise. However, not all the sick are being tested.  Actually few.

Bob Eadie is the Director of the Florida Keys Chapter of the Florida Health Department. A full time job. He has held it since 2007. One problem. He is not a doctor. He’s a lawyer.

The past few weeks he has been the politician…..Speaking as Washington and Tallahassee do. Not as a Dr. Fauci.

For example, he claims tests are available. All one has to do is go to a doctor. Then be directed to the Health Department for a test.

The Health Department cannot test everyone. Would result in an “overload.” It would be a “wasting of resources.”

So some tests are being done. How many, we do not know.

The reason we do not know is Eadie cannot tell us till Tallahassee gives him permission.

So much for transparency.

Dana Milbank is the much respected Washington Post columnist. His most recent column was titled: “Got A Medical Question? Ask Dr. Trump!”

Cartoons were big time in my youth…..1930’s and 1940’s. Especially Walt Disney ones.

The Disney ones generally closed with Porky Pig saying: That’s all folks!

I sign off in a similar fashion today…..That’s all folks!

Enjoy your day!

        MORNING STEW #35 was originally published on Key West Lou

[fashiontrendin-blog]

A Chronicle of All the Fashion Shows I Saw, Missed and Loved

http://fashion-trendin.com/a-chronicle-of-all-the-fashion-shows-i-saw-missed-and-loved/

A Chronicle of All the Fashion Shows I Saw, Missed and Loved

I’ve tempted fate one too many times during past fashion weeks and skinned a few too many of my teeth in the almost-late process. It finally caught up with me. On the rainy morning of Monday, September 10th, late to Wes Gordon’s debut at Carolina Herrera and got locked out of the show.

I was pissed. The show was at the New York Historical Society, which I wanted to see the inside of. On top of that, I’d planned to cover Carolina Herrera, and not being there in person to experience the lights and the sound and the general ambiance made me nervous I’d have no real feelings about it.

Turns out I am the rainbow cake girl from Mean Girls this week, because I had plenty of feelings about it, and about a few other shows I didn’t actually attend…and I managed to save some for the shows I did sit at! Details below.

Monday, 10 a.m.

Carolina Herrera Spring 2019

I look at fashion shows the way I read magazines: back to front. So when I got to the office after my commute of shame and opened Vogue.com, my first impression of Wes Gordon’s Carolina Herrera really started with look #43: a four-tone stripe tent (compliment) with an off-the-shoulder ruffle and a flower exploding its own petals in a fit of “loves me, loves me not.” Then came look #40, with a curved arc up toward the clavicle and molten sunshine satin fabric melting below. As the collection subdued, ever so slightly, toward the technical front, I imagined a Carolina fan in the audience’s excitement growing as she liked what she saw — especially, unexpectedly, the knee-high boots with embroidered flowers — but had no idea what to expect next. We’d meet somewhere in the middle, around look #24, perhaps, lock eyes at the marigold gown covered in a leopard-spot-print of red flowers, simultaneously register our appreciating for the menswear-esque top’s silhouette (a nod, maybe, to her classic white shirt-plus-ball-skirt combination) and proclaim together, “Yes!”

Wes’s version of Carolina no doubt leans a just a little bit younger (the blazer-coats, the shorts, the mini skirts) but if youthfulness is a state of mind and the numbers are just for candle-adorning purposes, than these clothes are for his customers of all ages. I think they’re going to be very excited.

11 a.m. – 3 p.m.

I’m at the office. I write some emails, eat a kale-bowl thingy with sweet potato hash and a poached egg, drink half an ice coffee, attend a short meeting, do some work-work, and then OFF I DASH, en foot, to 3.1 Phillip Lim, located in a high school about a 15-minute walk from our office.

3 p.m.

3.1 Phillip Lim Spring 2019

We’re on the roof of a high school, which is giving me flashbacks, and reminding me that everyone, including another Philip (Philip Ellis), has been telling me to watch To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before. It’s my main plan for this evening.

And now, a two-sentence review of Phillip Lim: The slight drizzle that steadied during Phillip Lim’s Spring 2019 collection was weirdly perfect given that he’s going one step past the bucket hat and full-on into fisherman headgear. As for the clothes, they’re perfect for a summer city staycation, but they wouldn’t mind if you brought them (the silver coat in particular) to Burning Man.

4 – 7 p.m., back to the office

Hello! Here I am, back in the saddle. I picked up a weird salad on my way back from Lim. It was weird because it was more bacon than lettuce, so also kind of a blessing. I can’t focus on work yet, so I use this time to catch up on Rodarte and Chromat online.

Set in a graveyard on a rainy Sunday, Rodarte’s Spring collection show looks like it would have given me goosebumps had I been there in person. There was a beautiful, romantic melancholia to the whole production that carried over into the photos (either everyone who posted on Instagram caught the hazy effect of light and water just so, or there’s a new Huji in town), but pulled away from the wonderful drama, I could see any of these pieces worn by the happiest of person, like a bride, on the happiest of days, like a wedding — or an attention-grabbing attendee! Or someone very excited to pick up their unicorn’s groceries. Either way, it was a lesson in pure candy fantasy. And a really nice work break.

Out of the woods and into the water: Chromat. In addition to her fantastic casting that, season after season, proves to the industry there are 8 million ways to be beautiful and make clothes look aspirational, she turned the self-conscious coverup beach tee on its head, then soaked it in water, confidence and sex appeal. She told Vogue it was a reimagining of “throwing a ginormous shirt over your swimsuit at the pool because you’re too embarrassed to be seen … to take that moment of vulnerability and make it something to be proud of.” If you’ve ever wondered what the “point” of a runway show is, I’d say Becca’s makes the case for the importance of a stage.

7 – 11 p.m.

Home to watch To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before and eat pizza from this gluten-free pizza place called Wild. The pizza is AN HOUR AND A HALF LATE (way worse than my timing to Carolina, okay) and I’m starving so I eat an entire bag of full-gluten everything bagel chips. The movie is perfect. I, like every other person on this planet apparently, am in love with Noah Centineo.

Tuesday, 6:30 a.m.

Oh look, it’s morning! Nothing to see here folks, other than my Artist’s Way morning pages, 15 minutes of not very good meditation, teeth brushing, varied attempts at writing a few stories I have do (writer’s block has been at an all-time high this week, bad timing) and other general boring morning stuff.

At 9:55 I haul ass to the 1 train, stand too close to the platform because I’m impatient and can’t get it out of my body that leaning into the dark abyss won’t make the train come, when a woman I don’t know gently scolds me (lovingly, or as much as a stranger can muster) for doing so. She’s right, though! I vow to be a changed woman.

10 a.m.

Oscar de la Renta Spring 2019

Time for Oscar de la Renta, which was partially a lesson in How to Look Really Chic While You Travel (with a blanket and socks in your carryon if you get cold), but largely a reminder that glamour is alive and well — or it could be if we all stopped wearing workout clothes to dinner and spent more time inside the heads of Laura Kim and Fernando Garcia. Their take on Oscar de la Renta this round isn’t 100% what I associate the house with, and from watching Monse a few days earlier, it’s clear they’re two designers who are growing and changing. But that’s what fashion is about, right? And how boring would it be if all they did was the same old thing?

Some of the dresses were so dramatic that I almost felt redeemed for missing Carolina yesterday (I’m not going to Paris, so this is just in case there’s a glamour quota I was supposed to be hitting during fashion week). Also alive and well, I am so happy to say, are little straw hats for your little square handbags, and flat sandals with raffia fringe all around, like that of a deconstructed straw hat brim. Shuffle, shuffle.

Now off I go, to the 1 train, back home.

11:30 a.m.

I’m eating last night’s leftover pizza and chugging water while working. Get lost in an email black hole. And then, like it’s groundhog day, I leave my apartment, get back on the 1 train, get off at the same stop, and head to the same studio that Oscar was in, this time for Tome.

1 p.m.

To quote our one-sentence review (which, don’t forget, has its own Highlight on our Instagram!) of Tome: “Dip-dyed and faded sherbert-colored happy sunny sweet breeze clothes to combat a rainy mood, or, to dream about for next summer.” Okay I’ll take it.

2 – 3 p.m.

I have traveled far and wide to reach these parts by subway and my feet hurt. These old boots are not (here comes a joke you’ve never heard before) made for walking. I’m sitting at Coach and thrilled that the bench is a little too high, so my feet are dangling. It feels like sweet relief and makes me think of T. Wise’s bit about dangling feet:

“This obviously makes me think that it doesn’t matter how big or grown or serious a person might be: If they sit in a place where their feet don’t touch the floor, they look absolutely adorable. There are no exceptions to this rule: Football players, supermodels, soldiers, reverends, rappers, I don’t care. Adorable.”

I couldn’t see so well from my seat, but upon close online review, I’d call the collection a cross between West World meets your favorite childhood cartoons that says “PrairieCore isn’t going anywhere, but it might get a lot less sweet and a little more everyday-vampire.”

4 p.m.

They gave us popsicles after the show. I eat mine on the subway ride home, change into sweatpants upon arrival, clean up my apartment that got weirdly messy out of nowhere, and start writing all of this.

9 PHOTOS click for more

Feature image by Slaven Vlasic/Getty Images for NYFW: The Shows. Photos via Amelia Diamond.

[surveystodestressme]

40.

5000 Question Survey Pt. 1

1. Who are you? cierra 2. What are the 3 most important things everyone should know about you? i love animals, i’m 21 years old, i love life 3. When you aren’t filling out 5,000 question surveys like this one what are you doing? working, going to school, or hanging out with jack 4. List your classes in school from the ones you like the most to the ones you like the least (or if you are out of school, think of the classes you did like and didn’t like at the time). i’m only taking one right now and i like it okay i guess, it’s anatomy & physiology 5. What is your biggest goal for this year? to pass this class with a decent grade

6. Where do you want to be in 5 years? out of school, living somewhere other than illinois with an amazing job, having a wonderful house with jack and just being overall happy 7. What stage of life are you in right now? i’m trying to finish school so i can start my career 8. Are you more child-like or childish? a little bit of both 9. What is the last thing you said out loud? i don’t remember 10. What song comes closest to how you feel about your life right now? idk 11. Have you ever taken martial arts classes? i wish 12. Does your life tend to get better or worse or does it just stay the same? it’s pretty much the same 13. Does time really heal all wounds? i think so 14. How do you handle a rainy day? i try to stay in as much as possible 15. Which is worse…losing your luggage or having to sort out tangled holiday lights? losing my luggage definitely.  i would panic without my stuff 16. How is your relationship with your parents? Will you miss them when they are gone? yes i will miss them 17. Do you tend to be aware of what is going on around you? usually. 18. What is the truest thing that you know? that i am super bored 19. What did you want to be when you grew up? when i was younger i wanted to be so many different things... a teacher, a fashion designer, a masuse 20. Have you ever been given a second chance? yeah 21. Are you more of a giver or a taker? giver 22. Do you make your decisions with an open heart/mind? yes. 23. What is the most physically painful thing that has ever happened to you? i don’t know.  i’ve never had something really that painful happen to me 24. What is the most emotionally painful thing that has ever happened to you? i’ve had my heart crushed more times than i’d like to think of 25. Who have you hugged today? jack, my mother and probably my dad too 26. Who has done something today to show they care about you? jack took good care of me today 27. Do you have a lot to learn? absolutely 28. If you could learn how to do three things just by wishing and not by working what would they be? everything i need to know to be a veterinarian, how to hack computers, and how to cook 29. Which do you remember the longest: what other people say, what other people do or how other people make you feel? what other people say 30. What are the key ingredients to having a good relationship? having truth and understanding.  being honest with each other and communication really is key 31. What 3 things do you want to do before you die? move away from illinois, travel across the world, not have to worry about anything 32. What three things would you want to die to avoid doing? idk 33. Is there a cause you believe in more than any other cause? not really 34. What does each decade make you think of: The 19.. 20’s: chaplin 30’s: hitler 40’s: my grandparents 50’s: elvis 60’s: my parents 70’s: discos 80’s: crazy hair and great movies 90’s: memes 2000: lil babies 2010’s: millenials 35. Which decade do you feel the most special connection to and why? 80s 36. What is your favorite oldie/classic rock song? bohemian rhapsody. 37. What country do you live in and who is the leader of that country? If you could say any sentence to the current leader of your country what would it be? USA, i guess Donald Trump???  stop being such an egotistical piece of garbage 38. What’s your favorite TV channel to watch in the middle of the night? i don’t watch tv in the middle of the night 39. What Disney villain are you the most like and why? oh god, i don’t know.  scar??? 40. Have you ever been a girl scout/boy scout? yep 41. If you were traveling to another continent would you rather fly or take a boat? take a boat, i’m terrified of flying 42. Why is the sky blue during the day and black at night? the sun??? 43. What does your name mean? i don’t think it means anything 44. Would you rather explore the deeps of the ocean or outer space? outer space!!!!! it’s like my dream 45. Word association What is the first word that comes to mind when you see the word: Air: humidifier Meat: madness Different: quotient Pink: lemonade Deserve: better White: wash Elvis: presley Magic: 8 ball Heart: of hearts Clash: of clans Pulp: orange 46. If you could meet any person in the world who is dead who would you want it to be? martin luther king jr 47. What if you could meet anyone who is alive? morgan freeman 48. Is there a movie that you love so much you could watch it everyday? THE SAW MOVIES 49. You are going to be stuck alone in an elevator for a week. What do you bring to do? lots of books, my laptop considering the battery will last long enough, my phone, my cat, food 50. Have you ever saved someone’s life or had your life saved? yes 51. Make up a definition for the following silly words… Fruitgoogle: a fruit that you can only eat while accessing google Ambytime: time for some ambiance Asscactus: a cactus that grows inside of someone’s anus 52. What was the last thing you made with your own hands? a pillow 53. What was your favorite toy as a child? my baby blankie 54. How many TV’s are in your house? three 55. What is your favorite thing to do outside? go on a walk 56. How do you feel when you see a rainbow? good 57. Have you ever dreamt a dream that came true? yeah 58. Have you ever been to a psychic/tarot reader? i’ve had someone read my palm before 59. What is your idea of paradise? someone where i can relax and not have to worry about responsibilities 60. Do you believe in god and if so what is he/she/it like? no 61. Do you believe in Hell? no 62. What one thing have you done that most people haven’t? i don’t know 63. What is the kindest thing you have ever done? i don’t know 64. Are you a patient person? not at all 65. What holiday should exist but doesn’t? ohhh i don’t know 66. What holiday shouldn’t exist but does? christmas or valentines day 67. What’s the best joke you ever heard? there’s a lot 68. Where is the most fun place you have EVER been? san diego 69. Is your hair natural or dyed? natural for the most part 70. Do you have any deep dark secrets or are you pretty much up front? i’m pretty up front 71. What is under your bed right now? a bunch of junk 72. If you were in the Land of Oz would you want to live there or go home? go home probably 73. If you drive do you frequently speed? yeah i usually do 74. What is the world’s best song to dance to? party rock anthem 75. What song was on the last time you danced with someone? oh idk 76. Do you prefer Disney or Warner Brothers? i like both 77. What is the first animal you would run to see if you went to the zoo? panda. i don’t think i’ve ever seen one in real life. 78. Would you consider yourself to be romantic? i think so 79. If the earth stopped rotating would we all fly off? it definitely wouldn’t be good 80. What is the one thing that you love to do so much that you would make sacrifices to be able to do it? travelling 81. If you (and everyone) had to lose one right or freedom, but you could pick which one everyone had to lose, what would you pick? i wouldn’t want to lose either??? 82. If you had to choose would you live on the equator or at the North Pole? north pole 83. Would you rather give up listening to music or watching television? music 84. What do you think makes someone a hero? doing something good without being asked 85. What cartoon would you like to be a character in? big hero 6 86. Name one thing that turns your stomach: beets 87. What was the last thing you paid for? i bought a pair of pants today 88. Are you a coupon clipper? my mother is but not me 89. Get anything good in the mail recently? i got a coupon lol 90. Which would you rather take as a gym class…dancing, sailing, karate, or bowling? karate!!! 91. In Star Trek people ‘beam’ back and forth between different places. What this means is they stand in a little tube and their molecules are deconstructed and sent to another tube somewhere else where they are reassembled. Only problem is when the molecules are deconstructed the person is dead. When they are put back together it is only a clone that has all the dead person’s memories. So… Is the person who gets beamed the same person on both ends? no, it’s a different person without question 92. What insects are you afraid of? all of them 93. If you could print any phrase on a T-shirt, what would it say? idk 94. What’s the most eccentric thing you have ever worn? i wore a choker once 95. If you could pick one food that you could eat all you wanted but it would have no effect on how much you weigh, what food would it be? fries 96. What are your parents interested in? my mother loves dogs, bowling, tony stewart, and tv shows.  my dad loves all sports, video games, and also dogs. 97. Have you ever caught an insect and kept it as a pet?  Have you ever caught and tamed a wild animal? nope 98. What is more helpful to you, wishes or plans? plans 99. When do you feel your life energy the strongest? idk 100. You are spending the night alone in the woods and may bring only 3 items with you. What do you bring? a tent, something to make a fire, and something to cook over it

[4lorne2]

Desire

I find that in conversation, when people ask me about myself in the future, I tend to answer in a detached manner: as if it were someone else. For example, when asked whether or not I believe that I will be able to make a living in the field that I am pursuing, I list all the potential opportunities I might have, but don’t express a strong belief in any particular future.

The reason for this is that I really can’t see myself in the future. I can’t imagine myself doing the jobs that I might qualify for. My personal philosophy is essentially “maybe I can do it”: which is to say I leave options open to see what happens. I don’t commit strongly to anything, and even what I do work towards I tend to do so in half-measures.

Now, society tells me this is a problem. “Give it your all” is the familiar refrain in a plethora of media directed at children, but also by the self-help gurus and life coaches. I have two ways of looking at this. On paper, I have been successful in many of my endeavors, but personally, I have been a frequent outcast. Does it really matter if I’m an outsider? So far I have succeeded in many other aspects of life that don’t involve my personal ingratiation with my peers. I suppose it only matters if I myself want to be closer to other people.

But returning to society, there is another question that goes how willing society is to include outcasts. In a way, I take American individualism to an extreme, beyond American Puritanicalism to a kind of individualism of pure dissensus. If life is a practical art, a socially mediated performance, in some ways it helps to think ones life as an ironic deconstruction of Democratic Ideals. But deconstruction is cold, and ultimately ends in death, and as such, I do not spiral towards it entirely willingly. I want to be part of society to the extent that it will have me, but what I fear with grim disquiet is that society will not have me at all.

Ultimately, the question becomes do I need the coherence found in the certainty of incoherent destruction expressed in an act of critical practice, or put more plainly, do I need to see my life as a “work of art”? Or is there someway to break the metaphorical glass that houses the exhibit and ensures “perfection” without me having to give up on one of the only things I belief in.

I’m incredibly sensitive about belief. In many ways its all I, or any of us have. I have often flirted with outright cynicism, but more so than in recent years I am beginning to lose the kernel of hope that is at the center of my favorite philosophy, Nietzsche and Deleuze. In fact, It has been a somewhat crushing experience listening to the music of Father John Misty. His beautiful album Pure Comedy was just released in which he presents his scathing rebuke of Western Liberalism. To summarize with the use of the first and final songs on the album, human life is “pure comedy, like something that a madman would conceive” ... “but I look at you, as our second drinks arrive. The piano player’s playing this must be the place and its a miracle to be alive, one more time.” Evoking the squeals of gleeful children demanding another turn, for FJM it’s the companionship and the fulfillment of his desires that make it all worth it. “Play it again Sam.” However, FJM’s nod to the eternal return is predicated on a fulfilled desire that I struggle to believe in.

After watching the film 20th Century Women (2016), I discussed with my parents the ways in which I felt the film worked towards establishing a re-conception of masculinity for the 21st century. There’s a character in film played by Billy Crudup, who despite being the one man living with Annette Benning, is the only one who is not asked to help her son played by Lucas Jade Zumann become a man. Crudup’s character is not quite self-sufficient, relying on Benning’s hospitality, but he is thoroughly independent and largely ignored by the women who live in the house. Crudup is an island, he’s stable and dependable, but also boring and predictable. Ultimately, in his favor, he is sensitive and kind and that seems to be enough. Women come to visit and they leave just as suddenly, but he keeps going, and he’ll remain a kind of constant, even after he starts his own pottery store and marry’s two time (the ending ascribed to him via voice over). I said to my parents that so much of society, and patriarchal society especially, has functioned through the commodification, exchange, and possession of women. From Marcel Maus’s accounts of the bond that formed early societies in The Gift (the gift is a bride, of course) all the way to sexual objectification of women in contemporary media, women’s bodies and agency have been disciplined through socially constructed economies of desire. 

We have a somewhat rosy picture of desire, often celebrating it and brushing aside its dark side, but a history of patriarchy informs us that desire is a force that is done to others against their will (or to the detriment of their potential agency) as much as it is someone else’s ability to exercise their will. I am dubious that what I might think of as “my desires” are truly mine, and don’t belong to something I want no part of, but regardless, “my desires” are not free of consequence to others any more than my ability to fulfill said desires is guaranteed. You might try to reassure me, ‘you as just one person can’t do anything about the restrictive structures of gender and the demands they place upon our bodies. You can’t deny that you have inherited our cultural lust for the female body, just follow it, try it, it will make you happy and feel fulfilled.” And while I would agree that many many many many times I have wanted to “try it,” I don’t believe in it. These desires don’t give me hope. Ultimately, whether it is my insistence on countering the imposition of desire onto women’s bodies, or merely that I’ve lived too long without it happening, each and every day my  belief in the satisfaction of my sexual desires gets more untenable.

Upon hearing what I had to say about Crudup’s character, my dad asked me, what about a geeky guy, a guy who women don’t seek out. I told him that that’s me, and that what happens is that they are alone on their island. My dad said that that was sad and that he hoped I didn’t feel like I had to hold myself to that, but unfortunately, that is more the way I feel everyday. Being alone for my principles is ultimately the only price left to pay. I may not believe in the ability to adequately address my sexual desires, whether practically or conceptually, but I do believe in desire. In A Thousand Plateaus, Gilles Deleuze describes desire not as a lack that needs to be filled, but as a force that is satisfied with itself and does not depend on any concrete end or external means. I’ve felt this kind of desire before, and while it pains me that in my life it is more frequently associated with media constructions than with warm bodies, ultimately I take some solace in Deleuze, who never puts one “Plateau” of pleasure above any other, and thus never dictates the forms in which may flow. This is the image of desire that I believe in and that I have only rarely found this desire in my interactions with other people, I find it in other places and it at least gives me something to believe in. 

If I insisted on exploring these desires and their relations to other people, I begin to enter into actions that I can’t intellectually reconcile. I think that despite all my knowledge, all my sensitivity, and all my desire to contribute something to this world that I am sexist and a mysogynist. That I objectify women and objectify myself. As it relates to myself, as I said above, my belief is in my life as a snow globe or an exhibition. But I’m a person and even intellectually I can accept at some level that I can’t protect myself if I don’t want to be alone. But when I think about letting down these walls I remember that I’m no better than any other man and my desire would just be a burden placed upon someone else. 

I started looking at pornography when I was middle school, maybe 5th or 6th grade, which would mean when i was about 11 or 12 years old. I learned to masturbate from porn, although my dad did tell me what masturbation was first. I though the men were peeing on the women until I saw that the pee was white. I also remember some pleasurable friction applied to my penis on my own before I knew what would happen, but I had never followed that through to the point of climax, if it had even been possible. I distinctly remember seeing anal porn very young. I looked at cartoon porn often as well. I went through phases with what kind of pornography I was interested in, but at a certain point as I gradually moved through categories I got into rougher and more humiliating kind of pornography. I have watched what is called “facefucking” pornography primarily for several years. It’s distinct from “oral sex,” “blow jobs” or even “deep throating” because the man is the one thrusting into the woman mouth, rather than the woman performing oral sex on him. It seems evident that this kind of pornography is pretty darn dehumanizing. Treating a woman’s mouth as a sexual orifice to be penetrated is certainly transgressive, but it also distinctly eliminates the woman’s pleasure from the act of sex and robs her of the agency afforded to her as the active performer of the “blow job.” But it actually gets much worse. Not only is the woman stripped of her agency and her pleasure removed from the sexual scenario, in fact the woman’s displeasure becomes necessary to the mans pleasure. Clearly it is infused with S+M tendencies, and I did actually begin watching bondage porn through my watching of facefucking porn, but there’s something distinct about the woman’s discomfort in facefucking that remains particularly arousing. (In bondage, I do respond to restraints, as in the girl is restrained in uncomfortable positions, but a huge part of bondage is spanking, whipping, and otherwise hurting women which is not something I respond too outside of the context of penetrations. Hair pulling or slapping during penetration on the other hand is a turn on, as is forceful sex in general) Beyond mere oral penetration, one of the focuses of this kind of pornography is on gagging, and act that I can attest to as being quite unpleasant if a history of stomach bugs and vomiting are anything to go on. As the scene progresses, the woman’s eyes begin to tear, her make-up starts to run, her hair becomes disheveled: the elements composing her feminine mask start to dissolve and the act of sex is that which can alter and transform appearances. This happens even more graphically in what has been standardized as the most frequently employed face-fucking position, in which the women lies upside down on a bed or a couch with her leg up in the air and her head hanging down just beyond the edge of the bed. In this position the man who stands at the edge of the bed/sofa has the greatest amount of leverage over the act of penetration, especially if he takes the back of her head with his hand in order to push her head up into the downwards penetration. Not only does this position put the man in the position to penetrate further into the woman’s throat with more control of her body, it also is the position which is most conducive to the inevitable spittle and potential vomit that can occur from this kind of penetration. In this position, the woman’s spit/vomit is only able to travel in one direction, which is straight up her face to dangle in beads off her hair and forehead. This only further contributes to the disfiguring effects of facefucking in any other position. Going even further, some pornographers specifically attempt to make the woman vomit so as to cover her face and their penis in vomit and then force them to continue felating them. (I’m less into it, it seems to be more like scat porn or waterspouts, i.e. urine, but it can be a part of very arousing facefucking). Ultimately this position take on a kind of goal in which the man attempts to enter the woman’s throat as deeply as possible and remain there until she gags, forcing her to expel her spit and his penis. It can get pretty degrading, especially when the man forces the woman to gag on his penis so that she is essentially leaking spit down her face while keeping his penis in her throat.

I’ve tried to be as specific about this as possible, and while it is graphic, its something that I feel like I could never tell anyone about, so its good to tell it to the keyboard and maybe I’ll be able to share this with them at some point. I went into such detail, because although I do watch other kinds of porn, facefucking is the most arousing/most difficult to reconcile for me by far. 

Obviously S+M is a somewhat accepted thing, and generally people are fairly accepting of other people’s sexualities, especially when those desires are not directed towards them, but there is something about my desires that I have always found painful and difficult to reconcile. It leads me into association with people I disagree with, who are proud of themselves and their belief that there is no harm in objectifying women. I also have to contend with the idea of rape and the semblance that my mysoginy would make me a potential rapist. Even though I would insist that rape is indefensible and rapist belong in jail, I find simulated rape arousing and I don’t really know a good way to deal with that. I guess that’s just something that you don’t tell other people, but it is the truth. And beyond that, what’s also true is that I don’t know what having sex with a woman would be like. Would I want to do all these things that I watch in porn? Would I be unable to get aroused by “regular intimacy?” Is my desire culturally wired and it’s too late for me to have anything else? As if there weren’t enough obstacles standing in between myself and intimacy, the entire question of my desire and what forms it might take as something unpleasant and wrong in some way makes it really hard for my desire to take me towards intimacy. It seems instead that through my desires, I actually get further away from intimacy and that feels a lot like being broken. That feels like something that’s going to prevent me from having relationships. And although I guess someone else could accept all these things about me, would they really want to? and perhaps more paralyzing, how could I even go about telling them?