#whose name I've been spelling wrong but oh well

[bitter-panacea]

Goultard's introduction in the Dofus manga, his confrontation with Clustus Part 2

Part 1

Let's get right back to the fight. Clustus tells Goultard he talks too much and attacks first.

Clustus : You shouldn't have been called Goultard the barbarian but Goultard the chatty!

I still think the D at the end of Goultard's name was supposed to be silent. First of all because in french the D is usually silent in words that end in -ard-, just like here in "bavard", but also because they make a lot of rhymes with his name and none of them work if you pronounce the D. Goultard le barbare, le bavard, le bâtard etc

ANYWAY! Back to the fight. Goultard is hoping this fight won't be yet another disappointment...

Goultard : King Clustus, I hope you have more to offer me than a pityful crow spell.

Turns out Clustus isn't king of Bonta for no reason and is actually quite skilled in combat. And Goultard seems pleased to see it. Maybe this won't be as easy and boring as he expected.

Goultard : Well, well, well... This old man can do some damage.

"Bonhomme" is a very interesting word to me. It can mean "man" or more accurately "fellow". For example "bonhomme de neige" is a snowman, "un bonhomme" is also what you'd call a child's drawing of a person, there is something childish about it.... It's informal and can be affectionate or condescending, maybe even both at the same time. Goultard calls Joris "petit bonhomme" (little fellow), but he's not the only one who uses that word to describe him. (If I'm not mistaken, Gou affectionately calls Arty bonhomme... I might be wrong but I'm too lazy to check right now)

BACK TO THE FIGHT

Clustus invokes the royal crackler (whose name happens to be Kabor). Goultard gets crushed by Kabor and buried under the rubble but frees himself and destroys him with ease.

Rip Kabor

And Goultard starts talking again (he wants to be mysterious so bad but he simply cannot stfu)

Goultard : You said earlier that you knew me... But I'm not so sure, you must be wrong. Because, you see... If you really knew me, you would hold more of a grudge!

Clustus basically tells him to "be more clear or shut the fuck up".

Clustus : A grudge? What do you mean by that? Be more clear, if you will, I'm too old for guessing games. / Goultard : I'm much older than you, Clustus, and I still love riddles... But let's not get distracted, what I meant to say... Oh!

Goultard loves riddles apparently, (I find that hard to believe but why not.) Goultard says "let's not get distracted" and immediately gets distracted by a cool sword he saw. Clustus attacks while Goultard has his back turned (to pick up the cool sword he saw.) Goultard parries the blow and slashes Clustus across the chest (with the cool sword he just picked up.)

Goultard: As I was saying...You can't know me, we've never met before. However, I know you, and I've known, your father well. The king Balbosus Sheran Sharm! / Clustus : What... Impossible!

Goultard : a king well-deserves a few explanations before dying! You see, Clustus, I've spent wonderful moments with your father. He even almost "freed" me. Shortly before I took his life!

Clustus' reaction to that information

Clustus : It's impossible. My father died sixty years ago! I don't know what you're playing at but your story makes no sense! He lost his life facing a monster named Dark Vlad.

Goultard shapeshifts into Vlad just a moment to make Clustus understand they're part of the same entity.

Clustus : You killed my father... He was a good man... Generous and certainly the best king Bonta ever had! / Goultard : Maybe...

Goultard : But once again... That changes nothing! You all are nothing but humans. Whether rich or poor, kings or peasants... Only your combativeness and eagerness interests me!

(I will explore this whole thing with Goultard's contempt for humans, how he doesn't see himself as a human yet wishes he could feel like one, his self-loathing, in a future post focusing on Gou and the symbiote)

Goultard : And to get back to your father, know that he didn't hesitate to sacrifice his men to get me! And when time came for him to be reunited with his ancestors, he begged me to spare him...

Goultard : If you're saying the truth and he really was the greatest king this city's ever known... I don't dare imagine what the others must be like!

We don't know anything more about Goultard and Balbosus' realtionship but I go absolutely fucking bonkers imagining what it could have been like. Wonderful moments, knew each other well, almost freed him, but in the end sacrificed his men trying to capture him... I could talk more about it but It's all stuff I completely made the fuck up in my head. In my head Balbosus wished to free Goultard in a messed up dehumanizing savior complex way "I must free this creature and if I can't, i'll be the one to kill it". They fought many times but Goultard would always let Balbosus live because he was amused and intrigued by his weird obsession for him. A sick game of cat and mouse. Goultard enjoying the thrill of being chased... Until the symbiote grew more possessive of his prey, or Goultard got bored of Balbosus, or he felt betrayed when Balbosus sent his men after him... The fact Dark Vlad is the one who killed Balbosus in the end could also imply Goultard lost control at some point before he finally decided to kill him... Much to think about.

Goultard then starts to shift between his different shapes, revealing only now that, all along, Vald (who we thought was dead), was a part of Goultard, or that Goultard and Vald are both part of a whole. He talks briefly about Vlad and Vald having 50% and 5% of his potential strength, respectively. Clustus calls him insane.

Goultard : No, in hindsight... You could have only beaten me in my Vald form.

Clustus : Well, boy... Seems like you have a couple bats in the belfry! Quickly, put me out of my misery, I've had enough of your ravings... (why is he so funny)

Goultard : My... ravings? My ravings, as you say, make my immortality easier to put up with. / Clustus : If you say so!

Goultard HATES being immortal. Being immortal is a curse, unbearable without adapting by developping a dissociative disorder.

Goultard gets bored of talking to Clustus and decides to leave to find something better to do. Clustus realizes Goultard isn't going to kill him after all.

Goultard : Time has already taken its toll on you, Clustus. You're but a shadow of your former self. So don't count on me to give you the warrior's death that you dream of so badly! It's much more cruel to imagine you passing away on your throne like the senile old man you are.

Clustus shouts at Goultard to come back and finish him off. But Goultard is gone.

Volume 6 continues with Goultard's backstory and ends when Goultard finds Arty and offers him to fight. I'll probably make a post comparing Goultard's manga backstory and the animated one.

[comeforthepizza]

Showbiz Pizza Magic Night (1984), Segment 2: "Fatz's Witch Story/That Old Black Magic" Transcript

Note: And here's the second segment of Showbiz Pizza's Magic Night show tape! This segment includes Fatz's infamous witch story, and his and Mitzi's cover of That Old Black Magic. If you missed out on segment one, there's a list of links to transcriptions for the rest of Magic Night at the end of the script.

Some extra stutters and stammers have been omitted for clarity's sake.

I've done my very best to ensure that this is as accurate as possible, but of course, I am human and fully capable of making a mistake, so if you have a correction, please feel free to let me know!

MAGIC NIGHT 1984

SEGMENT TWO: FATZ'S WITCH STORY/THAT OLD BLACK MAGIC

Featuring:

Burt "Sal" Wilson as Fatz Geronimo

Shalisa Sloan as Mitzi Mozzarella

Duke Chauppetta as Dook LaRue

Rick Bailey as Beach Bear

----------

FATZ: Okay, continuing with our magic theme for you, Mitzi and I are gonna sing one of my particular favorites called, That Old Black Magic. Now, there’s a special story that comes to mind every time I sing this song, and since we are, in fact, about to sing this little ditty for you, I thought it’d be fitting if I were to-

MITZI: Tell us a story?

FATZ: Uh, yeah, exactly! Now, let’s see, uh… Not long ago, there were these two very mean and nasty old witches. Oh, boy, they were mean. They were so mean that people used to walk up to ‘em and say, “Phew! You sure do look mean. I bet you don’t even get to go out on too many double dates, do you?”

(DOOK and MITZI laugh.)

BEACH BEAR: Ooh, that’s mean. Mean.

FATZ: Well, these two witches were used to that kind of talk and in fact, they kind of liked it, you know, all the attention and everything. Well, one day these two witches was snooping around this little village-

MITZI: Fatz?

FATZ: Yeah, Mitzi?

MITZI: What were their names?

FATZ: Names? Uh…

MITZI: Yeah, their names.

FATZ: Well, I don’t- I don’t think these witches had any names.

MITZI: Oh, come on, Fatz! Everybody has to have a name!

DOOK: No names? How could that be? They got to have some kind of names. I mean, everybody’s got a name.

BEACH BEAR: Yeah. Yeah, right. 

MITZI: Right!

FATZ: Yeah, that’s true, but these witches didn’t. At least, not in this story. They were just called, “Two Witches”. “Two Mean, Old, Nasty Witches”. Now, you see, these two witches- whose, by the way, names was so scary that if you heard ‘em, you’d probably start screaming and stuff, it just gives me goosebumps thinking about ‘em. Well, anyway, these two witches were real scary, and they were snooping around this little village, and they happened to see this farmer’s daughter sitting under this big ol' tree all by herself.

DOOK: A farmer’s daughter? Well, didn’t she have a name or what?

FATZ: No, no, no. She just called her- She’s just The Farmer’s Daughter.

DOOK: Are you sure?

FATZ: Positive. Now, listen-

BEACH BEAR: The plot thickens.

(They all get a chuckle out of this, even FATZ, who is becoming more irritated with each interruption.)

FATZ: Now, everybody, listen up here. When the farmer’s daughter saw the two witches, she was very startled.

MITZI: Is this gonna have a happy ending?

FATZ: Well, if you quit interrupting me just a few minutes, you’ll find out!

MITZI: I’m sorry.

FATZ: Okay, well, now, I was saying: the farmer’s daughter was startled because she knew the two witches could cast spells on people, and that made her nervous. “How come you’re sitting under the tree all by yourself?” one of the witches asked. “Is something wrong?” 

“Well,” replied the farmer’s daughter, “actually, there is. You see, I’m in love with this handsome, young prince and he doesn’t even know my name.”

DOOK: That’s because she doesn’t have a name! How could he know?

FATZ: Dook, please, this is only a story. Try to go with it.

DOOK: Well, I hope this thing is leading to something ‘cause it’s starting to drag.

FATZ: Well, Dook, just have a little faith in me, now. You’ll like the end of this story, I promise you. So’re you folks out there, y’all all gonna like it if you just let me finish.

BEACH BEAR: Alright, Fatz, you got the floor. Go ahead. Finish.

FATZ: Thank you very much. Everybody listen up. These two clever witches could spot someone who needed a magic spell ten miles away and the farmer’s daughter was just such a person. “Would you like to marry this young prince?” one of the witches asked.

“Of course!” replied the young girl. “That would never happen.” 

“If you could bring us one of your father’s fat milking cows,” the witch continued, “then we can make sure that a handsome, young prince will marry you the first time he ever lays his eyes on you.”

MITZI: Oh! Oh! Oh, I know how this ends! See, the two witches give the farmer’s daughter a magic love potion and then she gives it to the young prince to drink! And when he drinks it, he falls madly in love with her because he’s under a spell that can’t be broken!

FATZ: Uh.

MITZI: Isn’t that right? Isn’t that right, how it ends, Fatz? Huh?

FATZ: Uh. Well. Yeah. Yeah. Th- Th- That’s one way of ending it, there, Mitzi, that’s right.

MITZI: Well, tell us your ending, Fatz! It’s so exciting!

FATZ: Uh. Well, uh. It’s kind of- It’s a little anticlimactic after Mit-

BEACH BEAR: Then don’t bother.

MITZI: That’s okay.

FATZ: Yeah, it wasn’t a very good story, anyway. It really wasn’t a very good story.

MITZI: We understand. But Fatz, this was so fun! Can we do this again? Please?

FATZ: Oh, yeah. Lots of fun. Lots of fun.

MITZI: This is so exciting.

FATZ: We’ll have to do this just- every day. Oh, yeah. Lots of fun.

MITZI: Great!

FATZ: But right now, let’s just get into That Old Black Magic and get away from all this fun, okay?

MITZI: Okay.

(FATZ and MITZI share amused laughs.)

[SONG: THAT OLD BLACK MAGIC (ORIGINALLY BY HAROLD ARLEN AND JOHNNY MERCER)]

FATZ:

OLD BLACK MAGIC HAS ME IN ITS SPELL

MITZI:

OLD BLACK MAGIC THAT YOU WEAVE SO WELL

FATZ:

OH, THOSE ICY FINGERS UP AND DOWN MY SPINE

MITZI:

THE SAME OLD WITCHCRAFT WHEN YOUR EYES MEET MINE

FATZ:

THE SAME OLD TINGLE THAT I FEEL INSIDE

MITZI:

AND THEN THAT ELEVATOR STARTS TO ARRIVE

FATZ:

DOWN AND DOWN I GO

MITZI:

‘ROUND AND ‘ROUND I GO

FATZ:

LIKE A LEAF THAT’S CAUGHT IN THE TIDE

MITZI:

I SHOULD STAY AWAY

BUT WHAT CAN I DO

I HEAR YOUR NAME

AND I’M AFLAME

FATZ: Yeah, baby, I know how it is!

AFLAME

BURNING DESIRE

MITZI:

THAT ONLY YOUR KISS

FATZ:

CAN PUT OUT THE FIRE

YOU’RE THE LOVE THAT I HAVE WAITED FOR

MITZI:

YOU’RE THE MATE THAT FATE HAD ME CREATED FOR

FATZ: Why, sure!

MITZI:

AND EVERY TIME YOUR LIPS MEET MINE

FATZ:

BABY

DOOK & BEACH BEAR:

BABY

FATZ:

DOWN AND DOWN I GO

‘ROUND AND ‘ROUND I GO

IN A SPIN

LOVIN’ THE SPIN I’M IN

UNDER THE OLD BLACK MAGIC CALLED LOVE

MITZI:

OOH, IN A SPIN

LOVIN’ THE SPIN I’M IN

UNDER THE OLD BLACK MAGIC CALLED LOVE

FATZ & MITZI:

IN A SPIN

LOVIN’ THE SPIN I’M IN

UNDER THE OLD BLACK MAGIC CALLED LOVE

MITZI:

I SHOULD STAY AWAY

BUT WHAT CAN I DO

FATZ: It’s impossible!

MITZI:

I HEAR YOUR NAME

AND I’M AFLAME

FATZ:

AFLAME

BURNING DESIRE

MITZI:

THAT ONLY YOUR KISS

FATZ:

CAN PUT OUT THE FIRE

OH, YOU’RE THE LOVE I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR

MITZI:

YOU’RE THE MATE THAT FATE HAD ME CREATED FOR

AND EVERY TIME YOUR LIPS MEET MINE

FATZ:

BABY

DOOK & BEACH BEAR:

BABY

FATZ:

DOWN AND DOWN I GO

‘ROUND AND ‘ROUND I GO

IN A SPIN

LOVIN’ THE SPIN I’M IN

UNDER THE OLD BLACK MAGIC CALLED LOVE

MITZI:

AAH, IN A SPIN

LOVIN’ THE SPIN I’M IN

UNDER THE OLD BLACK MAGIC CALLED LOVE

FATZ & MITZI:

IN A SPIN

LOVIN’ THE SPIN I’M IN

UNDER THE OLD BLACK MAGIC CALLED LOVE

UNDER THE OLD BLACK MAGIC CALLED LOVE

END.

----------

Check out the rest of Magic Night!:

Magic Night Intro/Magic Medley

The Magic Touch (Outtake)

Letters to Looney Bird #1/Little Arrows

Abracadabra Medley Intro/Abracadabra Medley

Multiple Voice Syndrome/Puff the Magic Dragon

Ambience Skit/Magic (from Xanadu)

Letters to Looney Bird #2/Every Little Thing She Does is Magic

Michael Jackson Intro/Michael Jackson Tribute

[completelyordinarycat]

Compiling my TFTR end notes so they clog up the fic less but tbh it's mostly for sentimental reasons. Fun Facts:

Chapter 3:

Harry rambling about the Pale as a way to talk about wanting to disappear is based on a real conversation I've had.

Chapter 4:

I used Korean as a Seol language because it's the Asian language I'm most familiar with. I speak neither Korean nor French fluently (I don't speak French at all) so please correct me.

For reference, I switch between sounding out, anglicised, and characters to indicate the way characters are hearing language and tonal differences.

I am a white person, so I'm not in any way the person to be talking about experiencing racism but it felt wrong to ignore the place that has in DE and Kim's story especially and it's role in cop work especially. I work a lot with people who speak English as an Additional language, so I've tried to respect the bravery it takes to speak a language like English when you aren't fluent, and base that conversation on actual ones I've had. While I've tried to be actively anti-racist from a narrative standpoint, I won't do that perfectly.

The fire, and its cause, is based on one where I've lived that I won't go into for obvious reasons.

Eomma is based on my Italian great-grandmothers.

Chapter 5:

if you see me misspelling characters names: no you don't. I learned via this fic that they aren't columbinimus clouds, which is the best spelling I can offer for what I spent my life reading and pronouncing. Plus side: every spell check I'd laugh because I'd get to remind myself it's spelled with CUM not COL.

I find it really, really hard to keep real life geography straight let alone in-game stuff. I'm taking Messina to be an Italy stand in because it's literally a city in Sicily, which is where my family is from, so when I saw it in the game I was like bwuh??? If that's wrong let me know and I'll change it.

The reference to culturally insensitive ads is a reference to a real pizza place where I live, as well as various chain Asian food places with actually completely racist ads.

Chapter 6:

Had Harry been not caught up in his own stuff, Katya's song choice would have been more illuminating to him than any other piece of information thus far. But there was a reason Judit said that sometimes we get caught up in the little internal things that drive us (b/c its foreshadowing) which is what Harry and Katya do. Idk if you’ve ever had a fight with someone that, while it has valid points, you think back on later and are like oh. That wasn’t really about that at all, was it? They’re both still learning about how to do healthy relationships.

Having a character whose entire character trait up until this point is being secretive meant I had to do so much exposition I would have rather included earlier ughhhh.

The entirety of the case discussed is plotted out in full despite being only mentioned briefly.

I never name male perpetrators because in reality they always get the headlines when their victims don't and it pisses me right off.

I am ACAB and continue to be (and yes, ACAB includes all these characters and the RCM) but what Katya and Liza are implied to be doing is a form of the PEACE method including focusing on establishing known factual events.

Some of the city's reflections of love are inspired by me re-reading this answer at the time of writing. I think "If you found love right now, you would run it straight into the ground in seconds," applies to Harry though he's not at a place where he's ready to understand what that would mean in this fic, imo.

I had to remind myself how to do medical notes for this and they may or may not be accurate, idk. They're meant to obscure information, though, so non-accuracy works in this regard. I'm a suicide attempt survivor so I tried to be sensitive about this. For a disclaimer, I’m not a medical professional and my work lies in health advocacy, hence how I know a lot of this. You can tell, because I abbreviated a medication which is one of the first things they tell you not to do but hey, it was on purpose. Here is a translation:

TW for domestic violence, attempted suicide (with potential context as to a method), abortion and miscarriage:

“02:00 5mg/h AC bolus pushed via NGT. 10ml/h IV saline bag replaced.

03:40 PT semi-conscious but non-responsive, pulling at NGT. IV sedative admin.

5:30 RR 27, HR 114, BP 160/110, other VS normal. ECG shows sinus pause reduced but bradyarrhythmia remains.”

This is basically not that important really lmao. I could have skipped it, in retrospect, but I think it gives some nice context to say that Katya is okay, health wise, in that moment. In summary: she’s being given activated charcoal via a naso-gastric tube which is a common treatment for some kinds of overdoses (and why you shouldn’t use activated charcoal tablets/toothpaste if you’re on prescription medicine!). She’s sick and her heart is being a bit funky, but she’s okay. You can say this is why Katya refers to this as a “heart attack” rather than what it is.

“Emergency Department (ED) admission 23:39 by neighbour for suspected overdose (OD), no known next of kin. Blood alcohol level .32, suspected drug use. Became physically aggressive when asked if deliberate OD, requiring intramuscular sedative. Transferred mental health ward 00:48. History: childhood Pale Related Acquired Brain Injury. 3xED presentation for gun shot wounds and stab wounds relating to RCM work. 2x presentation for injury relating to suspected assault and battery, patient denied intimate partner violence and left against medical advice both times. 3 pregnancies and 0 live births: ED presentation following miscarriage after fall; ED presentation for miscarriage after suspected assault and battery; ED presentation relating to suspected termination of pregnancy haemorrhage requiring blood transfusion and overnight observation.”

Again, I’m hoping no one is learning how to take case notes from this. I re-wrote this a million times, no lie, and if I saw this on someone’s records I would probably be like UM WTF. But for storytelling purposes, it got the job done lmao. I hope the original gets across what I wanted to get across: that something really significantly bad happened in Katya’s past that explains her motives and behaviour. I wrote it with the intention that Harry has just gotten enough information to want to push, but not to know that he shouldn’t. Having said that, you could make the argument that he should have known at the very least what the abbreviation for Assault and Battery is, so if he knew, would he have pushed anyway? Canonically, I think the answer is yes because even a high-empathy Harry can be remarkably tactless on a fail. Which is why I think this interaction is fun(? Oh wow I’m a freak) because it’s pushing (fanfic) Harry’s assumptions of himself and his goals. His stated goal is to do good, but he actively doesn’t do that in this scenario (though, neither was Katya, tbf).

In his defence, he’s right but he’s also kind of wrong. Yes, Katya’s background makes her empathise with this case a lot more, but the other implication that Harry misses is that she was actually involved with the case to some capacity while it was ongoing, and therefore she feels responsible

If you care about the OCs at all: Katya, as a mirror to Harry, has been going through a parallel to Harry's plot and she's really going through it. At the end of this chapter she is off-screen having her own "I don't want to be this kind of animal anymore" moment. We only just get to glimpse it.

Chapter 7:

Mee's Kitchen is a reference to a beloved take out place where I live, and again I'm sticking with Korean stuff because I'm most familiar with it.

Harry feeling like he has no control and slapping himself and being terrified of that is based off of my entire life lmao but particularly a few years ago when I started to slap myself without consciously deciding to do it. Then I 1. started dealing with some of my mental health stuff, and 2. started being treated for ADHD, and, surprise, it happens less now and when it does I don't freak out about it. Harry is very flippant about it, which I was too for a long time. I have a lot of body-focused repetitive behaviours and repetitive behaviours in general and no one has ever formally told me if that counted as one of those or not. I don't like to call out specific things as me obviously projecting but I also wanted to be clear that if you also have those kinds of behaviours, there's nothing wrong with you and don't listen to a guy in a fanfic. Talk to someone about it if you're worried. <3 I tagged it as self-harm because it seemed to cover all bases.

Chapter 8:

This was a hard chapter to walk the line on and if I wasn't doing the poetry chapter title thing, it would be titled "What if Rigorous Self-Critique Was More Helpful and Less An Opportunity to Hate Yourself into Self-Destruction, and Therefore Allowing Your Shitty Behaviour to Continue." And I never want to demonise addiction or mental health struggles and I hope I don’t. In my own experience to do better you do need to face up to things you've done that you’re not proud of. No joke, a lot of this fic is me exploring the idea of restorative justice and how and when we can forgive someone, especially when that person is a victim too. But I also don't want to woobify Harry and I recognise that I could have gone harder on this and that's a flaw in this work. Very few things destroyed me in DE like Rigorous Self-Critique. My reaction to reading it was physical horror and I still remember how it felt. And I just couldn't play that out to its extreme in this. It would be too much of a tone shift, for one. And for personal reasons, I just couldn't. Also, In editing this chapter, I removed a bit of context I didn’t fix. Specifically, there is no doubt in my mind that Harry is abusive towards Dora and I realise I may have presented it as if to imply he wasn’t. Harry was specifically asking about sexual violence, and that is what Jean investigated. I may fix this in the future, when I’m in a better headspace.

I love to write bi-Jean being no-homo, I don't know why. Jean constructs intricate rituals to allow himself to hear that he is loved.

Other fun facts, grabbed from my notes:

MoralIntern/Coalition politicians declaring that homo-sexuality no longer existed in Revachol is based on a comment from a politician where I live who said that there were no gay people in his state. It’s also very inspired by real life anti-homosexuality laws stemming from racism and colonialism and eugenics.

This fic works from the assumption that Dora ended that cycle of untreated mental illness and abuse by leaving as soon as she realised what was happening, by virtue of having a better education and resource access through being middle class. She is my idealised version of myself here haha. So the question becomes less, is Harry a bad guy? But what can Harry do to make sure he doesn’t continue a cycle of violence that probably pre-dates him by centuries?

I also can-opened myself writing this fic because I was like, why do I write stories about people being at their worst and still being loved? And my brain was like, because it’s the kind of story you needed to hear when you were at your worst, that it’s still possible to be loved, and never heard. And then I had a little cry :)

 If you think that Harry is a bad and an irredeemable man, you’re totally valid! Maybe I will write a fic about that at some point.

I love Jean now :)

I was like haha what if I make the chapter titles a poem from the city to Harry and immediately regretted it because I'm bad at poetry :)

[mxcottonsocks]

Book Order of Late-August Dates in Dracula (for context)

There's a lot of confusion following the 30 August Dracula Daily email about several things:

Is Lucy actually better or is she lying / hiding the truth?

Is Dracula no longer feeding on her? If not, why not?

Has Lucy travelled back to Whitby? If so, why?

Is Arthur's "getting fat" comment caring or mean?

(And this is all in addition to previous confusion about Dr Seward's recent-ish entry where he talked about events which supposedly happen a week later than an event of which actually only happened the night before.)

To have a better idea of understanding what's going on, I think we need to take a step back from the Dracula Daily order, and return to look at the order of events in the book, i.e. the order Stoker actually intended us to experience the events in.

Too Long, Won't Read: All the dates at the beginning of Chapter 9 (late August) are suspect, and many of them are likely to be wrong. Lucy wrote the supposed-30 August letter before leaving Whitby, so she genuinely is getting better at that point because Dracula is all the way down in London. Arthur's comment is highly likely to mean "thank god you're putting some healthy weight back on". Dr Seward's diary entries of 20th August (supposedly) and 23rd August (supposedly) are meant to come nearer the end of the month than their dates indicate, and Lucy's diary entries of 24th August (supposedly) and 25th August (supposedly) immediately follow Dr Seward's and show us exactly where that bat flew off to.

So what's the order of the end of August in the book?

The time period we're looking at spans Chapters 8-9.

Here's the original order of entries:

Chapter 8

(I think this chapter is mostly, if not entirely, fine date-wise. You can pretty much trust these dates, but this is provided for context of what happens before Chapter 9, which is the one with the weird dates.)

Chapter 8 begins at 11pm on 11th August. You may remember that it was later that night that Lucy sleepwalked to the churchyard and was fed on by Dracula for the first time. I won't list all the dates, but the first half of Chapter 8 consists of Mina's diary entries about Dracula trying to get to Lucy to drink her blood (and sometimes succeeding). Then:

17th August: Mina's diary. She writes, "No news from Jonathan, and Lucy seems to be growing weaker [...]"

Also 17th August: The letter from Samuel F. Billington & Sons saying that the boxes will leave Whitby by the 4:30pm train (on the 17th) and arrive in London tomorrow (18th). There are stern instructions to deliver them that night (18th) to Carfax, near Purfleet (East London).

21st August: Confirmation from Carter, Paterson & Co that "Goods are delivered in exact accordance with instructions" (i.e. on the evening of the 18th).

18th August: Mina's diary. A jump back in time, to resume Mina's diary where we left off. We read this entry in the context of firmly knowing that Dracula left Whitby on the afternoon of the 17th. So when Mina says, "Lucy is ever so much better. Last night she slept well all night, and did not disturb me once," and that, "all the morbid reticence seems to have passed from her, "we know it is because Dracula is no longer in Whitby. However, she notes that Lucy "is still sadly pale and wan-looking".

19th August: Mina's diary. "Joy, joy, joy!" Mina has had news of Jonathan and will begin the journey to join him tomorrow morning (20th).

12th August: A jump back in time to Sister Agatha's letter, included in the place it was received by Mina (19th) rather than the date it was written.

ALSO 19th August: Dr Seward's diary. "Strange and sudden change in Renfield last night." Renfield is being uncharacteristically rude to the staff and no longer cares for spiders. 'Last night' was the 18th, the same night where Lucy, up in Whitby, slept undisturbed; the same night we know Dracula and his boxes arrived at their destination. On the night of the 19th, Renfield escapes, and Dr Seward follows him over the wall "which seperates our grounds from the grounds of the deserted house", which we find out in the next paragraph is called Carfax - the same place we know from earlier this chapter the boxes were delivered to. Renfield speaks of/to a "Master", and is restrained and put in a padded room.

So: at the end of Chapter 8, Lucy is still in Whitby, and is returning to normal. It is now Renfield, who Dracula has just moved next door to, who is acting outside of his usual patterns of behaviour (which we've had time to learn over previous chapters).

Chapter 9:

This is where I suggest you mainly ignore the dates and pay attention to the order.

24 August (maybe): Mina's letter announcing her and Jonathan's marriage. She seals up Jonathan's journal. We worry about the consequences of locking this knowledge away but:

30 August (supposedly - unlikely to be this date): Lucy's letter to Mina, written from Whitby. So the time of writing the letter, Lucy has not yet left Whitby (i.e. she just hasn't left; it's not that she goes away and then returns later). This letter is almost certainly written after Mina's letter to Lucy, as she makes mention of "[Mina's] husband". While she knew Mina was intending to marry Jonathan abroad, I doubt she would have been confident enough of Jonathan's survival to write about Mina's husband before she knew for sure that he lived long enough. As for Lucy, at some point since Mina left in the morning of 20th August, she has finally been joined by Arthur, as he was always intending to do. When he arrived, Lucy was probably still looking ill following Dracula's departure. However, he's now been up there with her long enough that they've done a whole bunch of activities and she says she is "quite restored" ("quite" here meaning "completely" not "slightly"). She talks about her recovered appetite, her vibrancy, and her quality of sleep and the fact that she hasn't sleepwalked recently. It is immediately after this that she mentions Arthur's "getting fat" comment. She therefore doesn't say this out of the blue; it is yet another symptom of her returning health. Readers know that this is because Dracula is still far away.

20th August (supposedly - unlikely to be this date): Dr Seward's diary saying "For the first week after his attack [Renfield] was perpetually violent". 'One night' (approx 26th) about a week after 19th, Renfield grows quiet for the first time, and remains so until just before dawn. This happened for 3 nights in a row (say 26th-28th). Dr Seward plans to help Renfield escape "tonight" (probably 28th or 29th).

23rd August (supposedly - unlikely to be this date): Dr Seward's diary. This is the one where he initially was hoping Renfield would escape, but he didn't, and then Renfield escaped later in the night (of the 29th?), and they saw a bat heading west "as if it knew where it was bound". What's to the West? Well:

24th August (supposedly - unlikely to be this date - however, it does and should be the next day from Dr Seward's supposed-23rd August entry): Lucy's first diary entry, written from Hillingham, in North London. She talks about "last night" (the same night the bat flew west from Carfax which is in East London; possibly 29th?) when she "seemed to be dreaming again just as I was at Whitby. Perhaps it is the change of the air, or getting home again." So it seems that Lucy only got home yesterday and immediately got preyed on by Dracula again. She is today (probably not the 24th - maybe the 30th?) unhappy and scared, and when Arthur saw her, he immediately clocked that something was wrong. Lucy resolves to try to "sleep in mother's room tonight".

25th August (supposedly - unlikely to be this date - however, it does and should be the next day from Lucy's last entry): Lucy's diary. She was not able to sleep in her mother's room last night and so had "another bad night", where she heard "scratching or flapping at the window" and then had more bad dreams. She wakes up very ill indeed. This entry likely takes place near / at the very end of the month, which brings us to:

31st August

I won't say what happens on 31st August as that's spoilers for Dracula Daily. But I think the 31st August entry definitely follows on a lot better from the supposed-25th August entry than the supposed-30th August entry.

So the beginning of Chapter 9 sees both Mina and Lucy happy, in Buda-Pesth and Whitby respectively. The only person who is majorly unhappy is Renfield, who is aware of Dracula's proximity but can't get near him for a long time. When Lucy returns to London, her health and happiness take a sudden and drastic turn for the worse as she is again preyed upon by Count Dracula.

(I might be wrong, but I think the dates return to being pretty-much reliable from 31st August. Which is good, because a lot happens in September.)

[watching-pictures-move]

Movie Review | Emmanuelle (Jaeckin, 1974)

This review contains mild spoilers.

Emmanuelle is a story about a woman who likes to make love. Okay, that's oversimplifying it a bit. It's a woman who likes to make love, but only with her husband (unless she's on a plane), but over the course of the movie, with both encouragement and hesitation from her husband, learns to expand her erotic horizons. You'll notice I said "make love", for this a classy (read: softcore) affair. This was a massive hit in France and had international popularity as well, getting a release from Columbia Pictures in the US, and spawned several sequels. The star, Sylvia Kristel, reprised the role in two of them (Emmanuelle 2 AKA Emmanuelle, the Joys of a Woman and Goodbye Emmanuelle: Her Last Game of Death...okay, the third one doesn't have a subtitle). It also spawned a series of unauthorized cash-ins, with Emanuelle spelled with just one M to skirt copyright laws, starring Laura Gemser. (I've seen two of them and they are WIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILD.) If the success of a movie with this plot seems baffling in a modern context, it helps to appreciate that this was released in the porno chic era, when sexy and explicit movies could find mainstream popularity.

Now, as I alluded to earlier, the plot of this movie concerns the heroine's erotic awakening, first exploring her desires with female friends and falling in love with a sexy archaeologist (Marika Green, who the back of my Blu-ray copy notes was also in Robert Bresson's Pickpocket, a less sexy but still intriguing picture), and then under the guidance of an older man (Alain Cuny, who the back of my Blu-ray copy notes was also in Federico Fellini's La Dolce Vita, a less sexy but still intriguing picture) who pushes her out of her comfort zone. Now, this is softcore porn, and when reviewing the genre, I don't think it makes sense to approach this impersonally. What I'm leading to is that I found the stuff with women much more engaging than the stuff with men. I suppose it shouldn't matter to a straight dude such as myself, but the movie casts some really good looking women alongside some remarkably unsexy dudes. France has produced such deliriously sexy men as Alain Delon, but judging by the mustachioed husband in this movie, you wouldn't know it. Cuny plays his older man role with a certain conviction, but his dynamic with Kristel plays more like a life coach rather than someone who might be her partner, even in a non-traditional sense.

Now, there's some stuff in this movie that would definitely be considered Problematic (although I chuckle at the thought of a thinkpiece advocating for this movie to be canceled). I don't have an issue with this in theory, as I don't think human desire necessarily reconciles neatly with politically correct notions, but I do think it hurts the movie from a dramatic perspective. Namely, in the movie's worst scene, Cuny takes Kristel into a shack to smoke opium and then has her raped by two of the men present. Perhaps there was a way to have this blend more easily into her character arc, but the scene just feels jarring. Compare this to a subsequent scene where she rewards the winner of a boxing match, and that feels a lot truer to her desires. (For what it's worth, the scoring during the rape scene is terrific. Probably the wrong thing to focus on, but oh well.) However, I suppose I should reward the movie some points for acknowledging the lame-o husband's hypocrisy in advocating for an open marriage and then getting jealous when she follows through on it. I do not write these movies, but I think it would have been a marked improvement had he been taken out of the picture and the heroine gone away forever with the sexy archaeologist. I also would have added car chases and explosions...and it's probably a good thing I don't write these movies.

It's also of interest that the real Emmanuelle, Marayat Rollet-Andriane AKA Emmanuelle Arsan, upon whose novel this movie is based, is of Thai descent. (I understand that her husband might have also written the novel, but I'm just gleaning Wikipedia and too lazy to dig further.) If anything, Gemser, the off brand Emanuelle, resembles her more than Kristel, although I suspect she didn't have any notable run-ins with weapons smugglers and snuff movie rings. I bring this up not just to reminisce about those plot points from Emanuelle in America or the chimpanzee reaction shots in Emanuelle and the Last Cannibals, but to note how it affects the overall dynamic of the movie. In the movie Kristel's character comes to Thailand to stay with her husband (Rollet-Andriane was married to a diplomat on a similar posting), and the Thai people are viewed from an outsider's perspective, heavily exoticized and given little personality. (An early scene has two servants get worked up watching Kristel make love to her husband and decide to imitate them.) Were the lead character also Thai, I suspect there would have been a more complex dynamic to the proceedings.

That being said, the exoticism does mean the movie has an appealing travelogue quality, even if the locations aren't necessarily places the tourism board would want you to see. (Exhibit A: a trip to a brothel where an exotic dancer smokes a cigarette with her private parts, which is definitely not something I'd seen before. And also pretty hot. Judge not that ye not be judged.) The direction by Just Jaeckin (whose surname helpfully suggests one way to enhance your viewing) renders the proceedings with a nice visual style a bit more sophisticated than I expected. The opening has the gauzy softcore look that I expected, but you can see him taking similar lighting and turning scenes like the one in the squash court into sensual dreamscapes, and he takes a more clear-eyed shooting style to the jungle scenes, the lush greens of which really pop on the Blu-ray transfer. And while I had issues with the story, I think Kristel really sells the material with her performance, playing the role with a certain innocence that makes her easy to sympathize with.

[amenomiko]

HI DARLINGGGG 😍😍😍😍😍💕💕💕💕💕💕! Thank you for the request HEWHEW I LOVE this kind of storyline 👀👀👀👀💕💕💕💕💕! Oh, FYI, I made this story into two parts! Turns out that my story is too long to the point I have to split it 🤣 @ikemen-girl

Retrieve That Smile Again (Part 1)

Pairing: IkeSen Ieyasu x MC (Reader)

Type: One Shot

Rated: Angst + Fluff

❤💛🧡❤💛🧡❤💛🧡❤💛🧡❤💛🧡❤

SLAP!!

"..Don't touch me with your filthy hands."

Frozen ice.

That is the best word, the perfect word to describe the air within the council hall right now.

His fellow warlords, even his lord, were utterly speechless with the scene in front of them. Her, in the middle of the room, staring down coldly at him, whose cheek is burning from her slap; a slap that is... No, it is an unexpected thing that caught him off guard, enough to make him lose his balance and stumble backwards from the impact.

"Enough with your contrary words; nothing but a mere facade-- there is no need to proof anything anymore, with what you have caused, with what you have made me the way I am right now."

Her grimness changed impromptu the moment she turned to Nobunaga, "Now, if you would excuse me. I would like to begin my journey to Kasugayama, Nobunaga."

She walked pass him, the bewildered Ieyasu, before Nobunaga give his approval.

......

"Ieyasu.. Are you.."

Hideyoshi stops himself, clenching his fists tightly until it turns white. "She.. Has really changed."

"Our pure, lively Chatelaine. To a cold, ruthless Princess." Mitsuhide added, shrugging to his lord, "She, someone who hesitate to end one's life, wouldn't think twice to do it now."

"...It's my fault." Ieyasu started, gritting his teeth. "For pushing her away back then."

"Indeed you are." Nobunaga scoffed, "It has damaged her so much on the inside few months back."

Really.

She was broken back then.

----

"I know I am just a nuisance to you- n-no- I AM a nuisance, even from the beginning.. But- Ieyasu, I--"

She pursed her quivering lips, hands clenching on her kimono tightly as she continued, "M-my feelings are true. This is not for the spur of the moment, just because you gave me that earrings back then, f-for my reward in practising archery of course..! A-and-"

"....Can you make it quick? I don't have all day." He huffed, rolling his eyes and look away from her, making her more flustered than ever. "I- I'm sorry..! What I'm trying to say is..!"

She can do this..! She can do this..! She chanted the spell within her thumping chest; this is the hopeless feelings that she had bloomed for him. To her, Ieyasu had done a lot for her, and love has slowly emerge to the surface, of where, it had been born just from feeling greatful towards him.

She have been in love with him, oh for how long. She even choose him over her future in her era, just to be with him. She even stayed until the end, until Nobunaga's army make an alliance with Kenshin and Shingen. So she must do this..! This is the main purpose of why she chose to stay..!

"I- I love you..! From the bottom of my heart..!"

A sniff escapes from her lips-- finally she said it..! After all this time..! She had successfully gather the last bit of her courage to--

"...Are you done?"

....Eh?

"...H-Huh?"

"...I'm asking. Are you done?"

None.

There is no single, positive expression curved on his face. Nothing but a bored look, a tired, bored look that has been forced to do something out of his willingness.

"If there's nothing else, I will leave now."

"W-wait..! Ieyasu..! What do you think of me? What is your answer?"

"Answer? What are you talking about?"

"But I just-"

"Just what?"

No.. Please. Even if he is the type to say the opposite of what he really means, this is not really the time to act that way.

"What..? An answer to your confession? What do you want it to be?"

"I didn't mean it like that, I--"

"If you expect me to say 'Thank You', or 'Yes', you are wrong. Even if we have gained an alliance, I don't have time for love right now."

"Oh- of- of course." Of course..! Just what she have been hoping? He is a warlord, of course he wanted to focus on nothing but the future just like what Nobunaga wanted. Still..

Why does it hurt so much..?

Especially when..

He is smiling gently to the Princess from neighboring country? His hand wouldn't hesitate to hold hers, to guide her in the steps of the garden, to pardon her when she accidentally fell on his chest?

Ah, of course..!

He is showing a courtesy. For the sake of Nobunaga's image. Even if.. He..

Kissed her on the cheek, rubbing it after and hold her close to him, allowing her to rest her head on his shoulder-- and--

And--

"Mmmf..!!"

"MC..!"

Hideyoshi caught her in his arms as she fall to the side. "You..! Get some medicine from Ieyasu..!"

"No."

She immediately stop the latter from doing so, shaking her head with a wry smile. "I'm good, Hideyoshi. It's just.. I'm not feeling well, that's all."

"...You are, so much."

She had... Unconsciously refuse any intake within her body ever since then. The stress has been piled up, until her body rejects to almost everything. She even force herself to eat, but then again, her fingers made its way to her throat, shoving it by force until her knuckles were injured from her own teeth, so she can push the thing that she has eaten out from her body.

It's an endless cycle, she had stop seeing people altogether as well. She had been crying, sobbing into the night; into her own world, and she would sing to herself, repeating the same words over and over again;

"Why would you bring the good memories in my life when you pushed me away like this?"

Then she will cup her face, brimming her cheeks with endless flow of tears. Again, and again,.... And... Again, and again.

Until one day,

She had stepped out from the room, her tears is no longer there, her sadness has faded away, and.. It is as if she had been born once again.

MC cut her hair, filling her days with constant training, and mastering both long and short range weapons, as well as following the lords to battlefield.

Of where,...

Her ruthless side has surfaced.

She wouldn't hesitate to kill. She wouldn't think twice to give mercy, and there is no single tears nor pity for her enemies anymore. It is up to the point she made them terrified of her, especially when she bravely pointed a sword to any of the warlord's neck.

This matter had reached to Ieyasu, and he himself were astonished to her sudden change.

There was.. A lot of misunderstanding truthfully. But it was too late.

Though,

No matter how late it is, he must do whatever he can to stop any further unnecessary killings in the future.

Hence why, when he had tried to approach her, she had treated him to how he treated her.

Yes, she had changed.

...For the worse.

-----

"A misunderstanding, you say?" She snorted. "My, who would've thought our contrary lord would lie. A bad one at that."

She said it, not even bothering to lift her head and look at him. Just like how she used to be. She.. Always has this.. Sparkles in her eyes whenever he is talking to her. Sometimes he find her staring ahead, into the clear blue sky, taking all the ample time in the world while her long hair gently blown by the soft breeze. Then, when her name is called by someone, she would immediately turned her attention to them, curving a soft smile on her lips, and eyes will see nothing but that person.

She used to be like that, especially for him, someone that she had sincerely pour her hopeless love to. She sees him as if he is her everything, he is precious, and hold everything that she have in his hands; her heart.

And yet he broke it.

Therefore right now, he must save her. From the old pain, and herself.

"I was a fool."

He finally gets her attention.

"I pushed you away.. Yes, at that time I see nothing else but to seek for strength. More power, for myself. Love was never my priority nor focus-- it's not important for me. I think that I am weak, not enough to protect someone with my abilities."

"And-- if you think that I have a special relationship with the neighboring princess, you are wrong. I was the only suitable person to act as a decoy for her back then-- she was-- here, to escape from the arranged marriage she was appointed to. Her fiancee is too old for her, and so, in order not to rouse suspicions, and to make the fiancee believe it, Lord Nobunaga had agreed and chose me to act as her lover-- that is a-"

"..Are you done?"

What..?

"I said, are you done?"

"Are you done?" That is the same line he said to her at that time.

"I--"

"Alright, finally. Now if you would excuse me."

"Wait..! MC!"

He caught her by the hand, pulling her to face him again, "I know you won't accept my apology right now, and I know you are not fully healed from what I did to you, but please..!"

"....."

"Don't kill. Don't touch those weapons again. It's not for you. Those blood that were stained on your hand is not meant for you. For you to change drastically-- because of me-- I--" He grit his teeth when the whole reasons sinks into his heart, "Please just.. Stop."

"Easier said than done."

"MC--"

"What has been done is done. There is no point to return to something that is empty like a nuisance shell to everyone around her. Well, if it isn't anyone but me." She curved a smirk, yanking her wrist away from him, "It is a path I've chosen for myself. You see, Ieyasu.."

He watched her brush her growing hair to the side. Finding himself speechless to the grim in her orbs, "I was a fool too. I chose this era, and I promise that I will even kill for you. Just to be with you. But now," A chuckle left her, "I don't need to do for the sake of being with you. I'm sick of my past that is weak and a huge weight to everyone, so I decided to kill, even. without. you."

"....." He clench his fists, swallowing the lump in his throat,

"It's for the sake of one's survival, Honey." She winked before tapping his nose and walk away.

He was left alone at the castle gate, he could only see her go, and watch her from her back. The back that represents the fragile girl, and were replaced with a back of a warrior.

"...Then so be it."

[scatterpatter]

Critical Role Characters by someone who knows next to nothing about CR

Under the cut because Aye

So context: I really wanna start watching Critical Role, albeit I'm intimidated by the sheer length of it, but I realized I've been spoiled to... Almost nothing about this series or the characters, so why not joke around and guess as much as I can about the Mighty Nein ;D

This is Caleb!!! I forgot his name earlier but I HAVE seen content of him before. He's the edgy one. He has some kind of tragic backstory and I think caused his parent's death or something? Definitely has to do with his fire magic. Cat person. Like seriously he's the token edgelord from what I've seen. Probably the "You look happy? Who are you and what have you done to Caleb" character. Probably needs a nap. And therapy. Definitely therapy if your fanarts are anything slightly accurate to the plot.

I thought it was Fyord but turns out it's Fjord. I'm good at spelling pls believe me. I think this one's the "I CAN kick your ass if I want to, but I have social anxiety" one. Like the big sweetheart trope. Big dork. If I'm wrong this'll be awkward but I'm sticking with it. Probably a fighter or barbarian? I want to hold his hand.

I have never seen this person before in my life but apparently she's one of the main characters? "Beauregard", according to the wiki. Well I can't recall any fan content so I'm gonna make assumptions from this image alone: looks like a monk from the art, and boy HOWDY radiates bisexual energy. Cocky, sometimes TOO cocky. Def has that "I can fend for myself" energy. Probably struggled to make ends meet growing up or something like that.

I forgot her name but "Nott"!!! I've seen fanart of her before, and I'm love. Big "I'm going to cause problems on purpose" energy. Often depicted with bandages so I think she had some kind of tragic back-story. Actually if I remember fanart right, didn't she used to look something more human-ish and was like? Cursed to be a goblin or something? Had something to do with drowning maybe??????? Don't hold me to this. I was gonna guess rogue but this gear looks more ranger-esque. "I cause problems but I DO adore my friends more than anything" energy

JESTER!!! One of the few whose names I didn't have to check the wiki for! Baby girl baby! WILL fuck you up if you deserve it but prefers to take a more peaceful route energy. Ray of sunshine. Probably a cleric. I want to protect her with my life. If I get into this series and find out she's secretly evil I WILL ragequit. I want to platonically date her so much oh my god she's so CUTE

"Yasha", I've seen her name before but didn't remember. HELLOOOOO LGBT COMMUNITY. This is the one that wlw's go feral over. And I can see why. Pretty lady. Strong lady. 11/10. Probably some type of warrior- maybe a barbarian or fighter?... Fjord is one of those two and she's the other, is my guess. Looks scary but probably a big softie. Probably has some kind of curse with those wings- probably necromancy related. Probably raised in a tribe or community with strong warrior-aspects, judging by how combat-expert she looks and her tattoos

"CADUCEUS"!!! Sorry I forgot your name. THE CONFIRMED ASEXUAL HI!!!! Beautiful boy, 11/10. I adore him with all my heart. Looks like a druid. Transition goals. Didn't show up in the very beginning I think. I actually know nothing about his personality. I mean c'mon there's no way you're NOT a big dork if you dress like that. Has big "I've known the Mighty Nein for 10 minutes but if anything happened to them I'd kill everyone in this room and myself" energy. Maybe. Idk he's just perfect.

WHO THE FUCK IS VETH AND WHY ARE THEY ON THE SAME WIKI PAGE AS NOTT-... Ohhh. Oh I was right about remembering something about Nott being cursed, wasnt I? This is pre-curse Nott isnt it? Welp! Still has that "im going to cause problems on purpose" energy andhdjanxnc- i was about to guess that Nott fell through a sheet of ice and that's how she drowned(?), but then I realized this art is specifically from a "winter" series oop.... Prediction: Veth took the name Nott after probably not wanting to show her face around her family(?) once she transformed into a goblin. I Just Think She's Neat

THIS IS THE TIEFLING THAT LIKE DIED OR SOMETHING BUT IN RECENT MONTHS CAME BACK... OR SOMETHING. IDK. ALSO DRIVES THE LBGT COMMUNITY WILD. YOU GO "MOLLYMAUK" I BELIEVE IN YOU. They are... So cute wtf. I don't even know what to say. I can see why the LGBTs love them. Heck.

Fun fact! I know NOTHING about the plot! Other than the fact that there was not once but TWICE that the Mighty Nein ploymorphed something into a turtle but that turtle was also v threatening so they had to change it into something else. Beautiful.

Why are they called the Mighty Nein? The heck if I know! Cuz there sure ain't 9 of em so that pun doesn't add up! Probably something plot related. Who knows. I've been told my haircut sometimes looks like Matt Mercer's and I'm not sure if that's a compliment but I'll take it as such.

[stanbillyhargrove]

Ghosts chp 11

Billy x Katrina

A/N: this is a multi chapter series that will contain smut, angst, fluff, substance abuse

February

Katrina's POV

Billy pulled the Camaro up to our rental place and let it idle as we sat there, staring at the old house. A small, gothic style house that sat sandwiched in a street of similar places.

"Is this it?" Steve asked from the back seat.

"Yep, purple door. Just like the site said."

Billy cut the engine and we all stepped out into the streets of Salem.

It's been a couple months since telling everyone that I can see ghosts and they've taken it surprisingly well. Steve can't get enough of it, he always wants to be touching me so he can talk to them too which made Billy jealous. He wanted to talk to them so badly. That and the fact that we'd had more than one instance of an unwanted guest during sex was what brought us here. To try to find someone to help me control my power. And in Steve's words 'worst case, we get a cool vacation.'

We took a while to settle into our rental before setting out into the town. We ducked into every shop we passed, searching for someone to help me. Unfortunately, nobody was able to. Nobody dealt that intimately with the dead. We met a few mediums, whose advice was to try meditation. Imagining a protective barrier around myself to keep the spirits at bay. But that wasn't good enough for me.

We stopped by a little apothecary for Steve to look around while Billy and I went across the street to a coffee shop to wait for him. We ended up sitting at a table for much longer than we expected when Steve came running into the shop.

"Guys! I met someone!"

I perked up and looked at him, "you did?"

"Her name's Riley, she works at the apothecary. She makes a lot of the stuff in there, soaps and stuff, and everything in there smells so good! I could spend all day in there," he rambled.

"Steve," Billy interrupted.

"Oh! And hair products too," he held up a paper bag, "she helped me pick out a bunch of stuff."

"Steve."

He shook his head, snapping out of his rambles, "yeah?"

"Is she able to help me?"

"Oh, I don't know. But we're going out for dinner tonight, I can ask her then."

"We lost him," I groaned, playfully knocking my head against Billy's shoulder.

"No, no, I promise! I won't forget."

--

Billy and I were curled up on the couch watching Evil Dead when we heard Steve come back from his date.

"In here!" I called, "movie night!"

Steve poked his head into the door a moment later, "oh good, you're decent. I want to introduce you guys to someone."

I cocked an eyebrow at him and sat up. He walked the rest of the way into the living room, leading a girl by the hand. She had long, wavy brown hair and a sweet face, was wearing a black tank top and tight blue jeans.

"Guys, this is Riley. Riley, this is Katrina and Billy."

Riley lifted a hand and waved a little, her cheeks a little pink, "nice to meet you."

"You too," I replied.

Billy nodded at her and smirked a little at Steve, who also started to blush.

"A-anyway..we're going upstairs, night guys!" He stammered before they fled upstairs.

I looked back at Billy, who had the biggest grin on his face and was biting back a laugh, "do you think he remembered to ask her?"

His composure slipped and he barked out a laugh as he pulled me to lean back against him, "I think that's the last thing on his mind right now."

I laughed a little, "Billy! They just met, he's more of a gentleman than that! We came here looking for someone though so he better ask."

"I'll bet you twenty bucks he is not that much of a gentleman and he totally forgets."

I smirked, "you're on."

--

Billy and I padded downstairs in the morning, following the sound of voices and found Steve and Riley sitting at the kitchen table. Half full mugs of coffee sat between them with their hands wrapped around them, fingers just barely brushing against each other.

Billy tapped his fingers against my back, a smug smirk on his face when I looked back at him.

"Morning you two," I smiled when they jolted to look up at us.

"Morning," they answered.

"So, I see you spent the night," Billy smirked.

Steve glared at him from across the table, his cheeks turning bright red.

"I hope you don't mind, Steve and I saw there was a Scream marathon on TV and we stayed up all night watching it."

"Don't mind at all," I answered, pouring myself a cup of coffee.

There was a moment of silence before Riley downed the last of her drink and stood up, "anyway, I should be going. Have to go home and get ready for work. It really was nice to meet you."

Steve stood and followed her to the door, returning a minute later with a huge smile on his face.

He stopped when he saw mine and Billy's smirks, "what?"

Billy reached forward and clapped him on the shoulder, "nice one, buddy! Finally got a girl in bed, I was starting to think after Nancy-"

"Oh my god!" Steve interrupted, "first of all, you know I've slept with people since her and second, we didn't sleep together. Not that it's any of your business."

I elbowed Billy's side and laughed, "pay up, loser!"

Billy groaned, tipping his head back, "Steve...you disappoint me."

"Wait, you guys bet on me getting laid? Rude!"

"Doesn't matter," I smirked, "is she able to help me?"

"I don't think I should tell you now," he pouted.

Billy snorted, "he forgot."

"I did not, actually. She thinks her and her sisters can help, she's gunna text me a time to meet them."

--

We met Riley and her sisters the next evening at the coffee shop across from the apothecary Riley worked at. Audrey, Brook and Riley. Triplets.

Riley was the youngest. She described herself as a green witch, using what she grows to create products for the apothecary and specializing in love and protection charms.

Brooke was the middle child. She had grey hair cropped above her shoulders and wore a ton of jewelry. Bracelets and rings adorned her hands, clicking and jangling when she moved. She worked at one of the psychic shops doing all sorts of readings. Tarot, runes, tea leaves, palms, you name it, Brook can read it.

Audrey was the oldest and had bright red hair shaved on one side and a lot of tattoos. She was a tattoo artist by day but her specialty was talking to spirits. A different type of medium, could summon all sorts of spirits to talk to.

Together, they wanted to try to help me.

"Alright, the plan is set!" Riley piped up, "we'll work with Katrina in the evenings and you guys use the rest of your time as vacation. Now, I promised to show Steve around and get some ice cream. So, we'll see you later," she explained as she got up and lead Steve out of the coffee shop.

-- Thursday Night

"I found something interesting last night."

I looked past the stack of books covering their kitchen table at Brook and cocked an eyebrow at her, "how interesting?"

"Very. I found a spell that could let ghosts into you. Rather than you having to repeat what they say, they could say it themselves."

I hummed, thinking about Billy, how jealous he was that he couldn't talk to Olivia directly. How quiet him and Max got if Susan or Olivia were talking to me. How they barely hid their anger behind clenched jaws when Steve would grab me so he could talk to whoever was around.

"I want to try it."

"It could be dangerous," Audrey warned.

"How dangerous?"

"Like, something bad could come through. Take over your body and not give it back."

"Oh," I mumbled.

"Just something to think about," Brook explained, "but we think you're powerful enough to try and with the three of us doing the spell, the chances are low."

"But still there," Audrey added, her eyes steely as she stared at me.

"I want to do it."

-- Friday Night

We'd left our rental this morning to spend the weekend at Audrey, Brook and Riley's house. Safer that way, they said, easier to make sure nothing goes wrong. I hadn't told the boys about our plan to try this spell, I just told them the triplets wanted us to stay with them.

So when they found out our plan for tonight, they weren't exactly on board.

"You want to what?" Billy asked.

"It's a spell, I'd be like a human ouija board. They'd be able to talk through me. Susan and Olivia could talk through me. You could actually talk to them."

He pinched the bridge of his nose with a groan, "and if something goes wrong?"

"The chance of anything bad happening is low," Brook explained.

"We're not going to throw her to the wolves," Audrey chided, "Riley and Brook have set up every kind of protection we can think of and Brook and I have the Latin down perfectly."

"No," Steve piped up, "no way. I'm drawing a line in the fucking sand here. Do not say anything in Latin. Haven't any of you seen a horror movie? Latin is always bad."

Riley laid a gentle hand on his shoulder, "Steve, it's just a language. Audrey and Brook know the language, they know what they're doing. Everything will be fine."

He clenched his jaw shut and looked back at me, one final attempt to stop this.

I looked from him to Billy, who was equally tense, "Billy, I want to do this. Everything's gunna be fine."

@charmed-asylum @champagnesugamama

[jekyll-hyde-transformation]

Let's be honest.

I had already posted this here but I lost everything in that big mess in this month and I didn't have a copy saved in English.

So as my laziness is consuming me I will post it again, but everything wrong without any revision.

For the sake of laziness.

Maybe later I fixed the text but for now blame the Google Translator.

Jackson Jekyll in Wonderland Ever After High

(Sorry for any grammar mistakes).

Jackson Jekyll walked through an open field with slightly crumpled clothes. Holt had been in control all night and now he had to go home.

Jackson could only think how exhausted he was and how likely he was late with his homework until he took a false step and fell into a hole, or rather in the hole. He could never have imagined that such a great hole existed, and if he had not stayed nearly all the time with his eyes closed he could have sworn he saw random objects flying around him.

Jackson ended up sitting down, his knees on the ground on a bush. The scenery around him was simply so surreal that he could not describe it.

Attracting the attention of a girl with white and blue hair. She pointed a sword at him, but came down when she saw a cute little boy who seemed to be an incarnation of the nerd stereotype with a disoriented look and with leaves and branches stuck in her hair.

- Are you all right? She asked.

- Yes, I already have been worse. He replied.

- I do not think that's a good thing. My name is ... What's your name? She said helping him to stand up.

He failed to pick up her name correctly was something like adjectives, and it seemed that there were some voices talking about her, but he ignored this fact.

- Jackson.

- Nice. Are you the son of which Jack? However, you won't answer me? What is your name?

- No, my name is Jackson. He replied confused.

- Ah, ok your name is Jackson because of your father. My family also does not have much creativity for names.

Jackson was really confused and the voices talking about the girl did not help at all so he said his name was Jackson, but that had nothing to do with my father was just a name.

The girl looked extremely confused.

- Then your name is Jackson. And this has nothing to do with your father.

- It's kind of that.

- Then whose son are you?

- This is an extremely long story please do not make me tell.

- Okay, but what happened to you to stop at this bush?

- I have no idea I was walking in a field and I ended up falling in that bottomless hole and well I'm here. Said Jackson barely managing to keep his dirty mouth shut because of the voices. They were giving him a headache.

- Oh, so you're not from Wonderland? I really was finding you too normal to be from here.

- Wonderland? Jackson asked with the headache growing louder due to that annoying murmur.

The girl looked at the boy who had a huge face of confusion he was really cute, but there really was not any kind of knight in armor or prince enchanted. So she thought he was some kind of cute little assistant.

She then said she would take him back to his school.

Then he started to walk beside the girl. She started talking a lot of confusing things that Jackson did not understand and was not really struggling to understand. Something about how Wonderland and Oz were just an extension of the land of fairy tales.

Until they got back to an even bigger and more frightening hole than what Jackson had dropped. She told him to jump on him and obviously he did not want to, but when he refused, she simply pushed him away.

A new trek began in a forest after Jackson recovered from the stunned and repressed anger. He had not liked being pushed.

Then the girl began to speak and this time Jackson paid attention:

- I've never had seen you around. You're a new student, are not you? So I'm going to leave you in the director's room and he'll help you. I'm sorry I can not keep up with you anymore. I have to deal with my brothers now.

- OK then. Jackson said hiding the despair of realizing that he was not in Monster High yes in what appeared to be a fairy tale version of it.

(He really had to stop being pushed into schools that were not his one.)

Jackson was practically thrown into the director's room, being left by a girl who just told the director that the new student got lost in Wonderland.

The director then approaches the door.

- I do not remember any new students. You look like my brother's thing.

Jackson being raised as the son of a Fire Elemental and a Jekyll and Hyde knew exactly how to lie, though he was extremely nervous about it. But with his head almost exploding and understanding nothing of what was around he deduced that the best would be to be honest after all if they were to kill him, they would kill anyway.

- I have no idea where I am. Study at Monster High. I ended up stopping at that strange place the girl I do not remember her name called Wonderland. Which does not make the slightest sense. So I thought she was going to take me to my school, but I ended up here.Help me please!

The director made a frightened face then gave a dazzling smile

"Oh, I understand you're from the realm of horror tales, and it's here.

- I guess so. Said Jackson insert.

There was no way Jackson knew this but the director had deduced from his appearance that he must be the son of some sort of Monster Hunter assistant or potential monster victim.

"Sit down, kid, there are several Worlds. You came from the realm of horror tales going to stop in Wonderland then came here, meaning it's in the world of fairy tales. This world is different people have the fate of their parents. We have a student from your kingdom here.Maybe you even meet her, however she went to visit the family so I'm sorry. The spell to return to your kingdom is a bit difficult and by your reaction I do not think you have any family here so I think you're going to have to study here for a while until we figure out a way to send you back.

It was too much information for Jackson, the director had to explain it for another half hour until he understood the logic of what had happened to him. Apparently a rabbit had left an open hole that led to another world if that made sense.

At the end of the conversation the director said where Jackson was going to sleep and asked,

- Then tell me who your parents are?

Jackson Jekyll was on the board talking about his fate. Jackson is from the realm of horror tales they do not have a destiny, but stories tend to repeat themselves then sort of considered a kind of different destination by the land dwellers of fairy tales.

Director Grimm, his brother and Snow White were meeting in the room to decide what classes Jackson should stay in. Jackson is treated with affection (he had even won a hot chocolate) mainly for Snow White after all he is a boy apparently delicate and cute. And apparently to avoid confusion Jackson had turned Jack.

Since Jackson does not have a destiny he then begins to tell a confused, half-hour story of how his father is a fire elemental and how his mother is a human with a supernatural disease. But afraid he does not explain about Jekyll and Hyde. So he ends by saying that his fate can be interpreted as being the next Doctor Jekyll already fire elementals does not come from any specific history.

The director's brother arranges a book version. None of them had ever heard of Jackson's family book. So they started reading in the office.

They were all unfamiliar with the dark cloak, title, protagonist ... Jackson was getting more and more nervous. When they finished the book what would they think about it?

In the middle of the book Jackson was forced to hear a comment from the director saying that he would probably stay in a helpless maiden class. What was interpreted as a way to mock him not knowing that this class really existed.

Snow White, which Jackson was still trying to get used to the idea of ​​actually being Snow White, would occasionally look at him affectionately and run his hand through his hair like a teacher saying good work. That did not leave Jackson less worried.

On each page of the book they seemed more and more surprised or in the case director simply bored, since the book is extremely wordy.But at no time in the head of the three did they think that perhaps the doctor was evil and not simply evil, but the real villain of history.

Being Jackson a smart boy soon realized that being a villain's son was not a good thing. Relying on the comments about Lord Hyde throughout history. And from what he knew in the fairy tale, some characters were villains for reasons far lighter than physically assaulting a little girl, killing an old man with nothing but a stick and scaring a man to death (not to mention the fact that Jekyll lying compulsively) so he was really screwed.

When they got to the part where the body had been found they really got confused and it was not long before they got to the part where the secret was finally revealed. They did not say anything, but when they reached the part of Lanyon's letter his features had a slight tone of disgust. And Jackson's face became an expression camouflaged with despair.

In the end the headmaster closed the book and put it to his side with an extremely serious face. Jackson realized that Snow White was farther away from him and with the look of someone who had been betrayed.

"Well, that was unexpected. This really is not the kind of story we're used to in this place ... but you know wolves in sheep's clothing exist.It is a relief to know that you are following your destiny. By your behavior and your appearance I would have never guessed that you are a villain.

In the end, Jackson ended up getting all the classes that involved villainy, magic, cheating and lying to the victim, plus lessons on how to be charming and on the label.

Jackson found this completely unfair was not his fault that his ancestor was a villain.

Jackson was then practically kicked out in the living room. Just getting to hear slight whispers coming from the room as they had been cheated and if it would not be a problem.

Jackson, or Jack as everyone was calling, strolled aimlessly through the school until he found a mirror and when he looked he saw that things were a little different ...

It was a bit difficult to explain his appearance. He was more ... how could he say? Fairy tale? His exaggerated geeky looks had always caused him strangeness, but now it seemed like something more ordinary just too right.

His blue eyes were never so intense. There was no sign that one day he would have had a piercing. His outfit had a more natural trim and his black hair was brownish tones without his characteristic yellow fringe. His face was a bit childish, sweet. Monster High monsters would probably say he looked like a kid.

Everything in him seemed softer and lighter as if in pastel tones.Even his thick, black-rimmed glasses appeared more subtle. It was simply bizarre ... It was as if he had all adapted himself to that world.

Jackson had never been the kind of person considered attractive, at most being described as having a handsome face, and he was not yet and probably never would be, but he had something in his present appearance that disturbed him. It was as if everything in his appearance was made to please ... to be approved. It really bothered him. It all gave him a feeling of unpleasant familiarity. Something in his appearance reminded him very much of a certain Dr. Henry Jekyll.

If Jackson was not admiring his appearance in the mirror, trying to ignore and get a logical explanation for that maddening, indecipherable murmur, which by the way was very loud. He would have noticed what the high school speakers were playing a song that Holt would certainly appreciate and that a blond-haired boy approached him from behind.

Jackson continued to watch his own face in the mirror, his ivory skin reflected. He was a bit pale by the standards of the landlords of the land of fairy tales Jackson bit his white lips as he stared at that delicate and disconcerting figure. He had probably never faced each other so much. He began to focus on his vibrant blue eyes and try to pay attention to the voices. Paying attention to them and getting used to it a little easier it was much easier to understand what they were saying. They seemed to come from above this is the only indication he had of a likely source, but other than that seemed to come all over. In reality it was usually only one, but occasionally they alternated with each other. They all had a certain pompous intonation, but they showed slight differences between them. They were ... were they narrating? Were they simply narrating what was happening? Why would they be talking about him ...? No this would not make sense there was no one behind him ...

Jackson's thought was interrupted by a blond boy putting his hand on his shoulder. Jackson almost had a heart attack. He lived his entire life with creatures monsters and things that would make most humans run away, but he was really taken aback. He did not scream.Which he inherited from the world of Monsters. Shouting to scare was a lack of education, well at least when it came to someone with a human appearance, but he can not help but acquire the posture of a frightened cat.

The exaggerated blond-haired boy who apparently did not notice his fright said,

- We heard you had a new student. I just came to introduce myself to the newbie. I hoped it was a girl. What a disappointment, but let's leave it there. I am….

More names with adjectives that Jackson could not process. The other continued with an extremely narcissistic conversation without ever asking for his name or anything of the sort. He remembered Cleo a little.

It was only then that day that you did not realize that there was another boy with him this time with brown hair.

- Hi, it's Dexter. Sorry for my brother, he's always like this.

Jackson internally celebrated. Finally a name he could handle.

- What is your name?

Jackson stammered a little afraid with all the explanation he apparently had to give to every person he introduced himself. He decided to be as simple as possible:

- My name is Jackson and although my name having a son after Jack is just a prefix and it has no relation to me being the son of someone named Jack.

"Ah, different. That really should fill you up.

Jackson smiled and thought a rather wicked thought:

"And on top of it, there's a brain that's a gift."

"Then you're heard to say you're not from this realm." That you are from the kingdom of Cupid. You know her?

- CA Cupid?

- That's right.

"I do not know her well, but she was from my high school.

- Ah cool.

"Do not people really care that she's a monster?"

- What? No, she's a great person.

"No, not that kind of monster I'm saying literally a monster.

The boy made a huge face of confusion as if he did not understand what he was talking about. Then Jackson realized that Cupid probably did not fit into what they considered to be a monster. This could be a point she would not want to be mentioned. And as someone who understood very well about secrets and things that are uncomfortable to touch, he decided to change the subject.

- Forget. I'm talking nonsense. I do not know this college and it seems to be huge. Could you guys help me out a bit?

As if previous conversation had never existed the boy smiled and said,

"Of course we'll have lunch in the cafeteria now, and then we'll show the classes a bit.

- That sounds great to me. Jackson said.

He then started walking with the boys down the hall. The blond boy just stood admiring himself in a hand mirror. He was definitely like Cleo.

They sat at a table in the cafeteria and Dexter asked,

"So I've never said much about Cupid, but since you're both from the same realm ... well, the director said you're from the realm of horror stories." Tales of terror is where all horror stories lie. This does not look like a place where Cupid's story would come from. Kind helpful couples. How does this work?

Jackson took a deep breath and said,

"I think the specter that the realm of tales of terror covers is far greater than the realm of Fairy Tales."

Daring said nothing, but saw that when Jackson ran his fingers across the table he answered them they released some small sparks of fire.

Jackson pulled his cell phone out of his pocket to check the time.Even this had changed it was not the same he had no longer shaped like a coffin instead had a black coffin shaped hood.

- Wow! Your cell phone has a coffin cap you really take this serious horror business there! Dexter said suppressed.

- You have no idea. Jackson answered.

It was then that the girl he had met earlier in the day approached the table to join the boys and upon seeing him she said:

"Hi, if you're not my favorite damsel.

Jackson gave a shy laugh then replied sarcastically:

"And what would become of me without my prince charming?"

She laughed as the two boys stared in confusion as if they had missed an inner joke and they had.

The four of them talked for about 10 minutes largely asking questions about Jackson's kingdom, which he responded evasively for fear of retaliation as with the director.

Jackson could not stand it any longer and he created the courage of his soul to ask.

- Can I ask you something strange?

- Can you? Darling and Dexter responded.

(Although the blond boy was technically participating in the conversation he had never stopped looking at that mirror).

"What are these voices?"

- What voices? The two answered in confusion in unison. Even Daring's attention had been won.

"Those voices that have not stopped talking ever since I arrived in Wonderland and continued when I came here. I do not know, it's like I've been telling it all. They're driving me crazy.

The three, including the boy in the mirror who had removed the object from the face, gave a strange look and the blonde said in a low voice:

"Not another one.

Before the conversation could take any turn the signal rang and they had to go to their classes. In fact, Jackson was not yet required to attend classes. The headmaster had given him two days to adjust, but as he was dying of boredom he decided to attend some.

The girl then asked to see the paper with his lessons.

"Maybe we have some class." She completed it.

Dexter and she looked and automatically wondered when they saw a role with practically only classes of villains like cheating people, portions for evil and so on. The lessons did not match that handsome, handsome, innocent looking boy.

"Who did you say you were, son?" Dexter asked

Jackson replied,

"I never really did."

- OK. So asking now. Jack, whose son are you? Darling asked.

Dr Jekyll. He replied.

- Oh, okay. Can you track us down a bit?

Jack took a deep breath and then he explained:

- Okay. The world terror works differently technically Dr Jekyll is my no matter what grandfather, my mothers are descendants of him and Lord Hyde who is of the same story. Even though my father has a certain mythology about people like him, he is not of any specific history. Dr Jekyll was the perfect gentleman of almost no fault, but by the end of the story you find out he was not such a cool guy even though technically he is an allegory for good. So I'm the son of Dr. Jekyll, Mrs. Hyde and Mr. Burns.

Everyone's curiosity about Jack (son) being a villain was basically erased and focused on something else.

"Do you have two mothers and a father?" Everyone asked.

- Well technically they are 2 ½. Jackson answered with a shrug.

- What? They said in unison.

Everyone was confused, but decided not to question anymore. The last thing anyone with a good boy's title wanted to do was judge someone's family setting.

So they decided to take Jackson to his first class. On the way, Jackson noticed something. He was a tall boy, but that was ignored by the other Monster High students already in Ever After High that was much more apparent.

Then they reached the door and saw an entire class crowded with the scum of the world of fairy tales. Everyone was afraid to leave someone with the harmless appearance of Jackson there. He would be devoured.

But he went quietly into the strangeness of all. That place was not even close to a class in Monster High. For him, it was normal.

They all stared at him wondering what he was supposed to be doing there. Even the teacher.

She stared at him and asked if he would not be in the wrong class.

Jackson replied with an imperceptible sarcastic tone that sounded more like a sweet and polite phrase:

"No, the director himself sent me here for what he says I am a wolf in sheepskin."

Everyone kept staring at him as he sat, seemingly unconvinced.

"So what the character you're doing sent you here." Jackson was totally embarrassed and with difficulty replied:

- Well, nothing much. Well ... you just find out he's the real villain at the end, but .... Summing up the story was this Mr. Hyde guy and he ... well ... murder ... he means he killed an old man with a piece of wood and there's that little girl ... then aggression ... there's that friend of his ... that scares him ... well ... to death ... He kind of hides his crimes behind this guy .... Ah ... he also has that thing of ideological falsehood besides lying deceiving everyone around him.

The attempt of Jack to soften the crimes of ancestor was extremely flawed.

The teacher looked at him with wide eyes, not believing that the little boy with the face of who would not hurt a fly would be the son of someone like that.

Teacher decided she would talk to director later.

"Then whose son are you?"

"My fate is to be the next Dr Jekyll.

I never heard of it. Teacher spoke up with the conversation.

It was the weirdest class he'd ever had. They were basically telling him how to be evil as if he had an instruction manual for it.

When he finished his class he decided to go after the principal after all, he had no other clothes to wear and he wanted to see if the director could fix it.

As he approached the director, the director swore he was going to try to fool you and was surprised when he just asked for a change of clothes. A director gave him a look and said,

"Well with all that family stuff you can not just ...?"

Then something strange happened Jack could not contain himself and shouted to the director in a voice that did not belong:

"I'm not a witch, you idiot!" I'm just asking for some clothes !!!!! God it's not because an idiot in my family did a lot 200 years ago that I can do those shits of spells !!!!!!

The director looked at him in horror.

Jackson's eyes were red and he let out a little smoke. It took him a few seconds to realize what he had said.

- Oh my God. I'm sorry, I do not know what that was. It was not me.

Jackson had just been acting like Holt. It was he who had a reputation for hot-headedness, he was the one who would go to the board because of these things. Why had he acted like this?

Jackson hated when adults got mad at him, but the director just smiled and said, whispering the last phase so that Jack could not hear her:

"I should have expected that." I should know you're still too young to be a wolf in sheepskin all the time. The book itself said you should be wee bit wild when you're younger. I think this is not much encouraged in your kingdom, but you are simply acting as you should. Like a villain. Just do not get into a mess too big. I'll see what I can do with the clothes. Maybe something approves of fire ...

Then he told him to wait for 5 minutes.

Jackson was totally confused. What did that have? He had lost control ... and the director had been complacent about it. He really had with talk to Holt later.

[csykora]

i don't know if you know the answer, but if you do, would you mind explaining why some Russian names are always transliterated the same way (like Никита to Nikita), but some very much aren't? i've seen Evgeni, Evgeny, Evgenii, Yevgeni, and Yevgeny - is one 'more right' than the others?

Thanks for asking! You’re right, there’s some whacky variation in the League right now, and it’s something I’ve been wanting to talk about for a while.

(I’m going to focus on North American English speakers: if you’re not, sorry! The basics should still apply and make sense.)

The NHL follows the International Ice Hockey Federations 2011 standard for transcription of Russian names. Probably.

The NHL is a loose confederation of franchises. Historically, it’s been up to each team what they wrote on their Russian players’ jerseys. A lot of their creations were more artistic than phonetically accurate, but the surname would stay pretty consistent for PR and jersey purposes. First names were a free for all, with the team and official NHL media or licensed materials like video games all spelling them differently.

It’s still technically up to teams, but since 2011 the League is pushing a little harder to pick one spelling and stick with it across all media, and to have the spelling reflect how the name should be said.

Any Russian player who came over before 2011 is grandfathered in as whatever spelling they were assigned at the time, for PR reasons. (Like Craig MacTavish being the only one on the ice without a helmet, but less horrible.) Anyone who debuts in the League today should, theoretically, be assigned a spelling that follows the new rules.  

The IIHF transcription standard has three basic principles:

Sound-emulating: Yevgeni instead of Evgeny

Simplicity: Yevgeni instead of Yevgeny, Alexander instead of Aleksandr

Consistency: same spelling for same name (and different spelling for different names)

Sound-emulating  

What does Russian sound like?

This is one of my recital pieces, Tchaikovsky’s Moy geni, moy angel. Music is a great snapshot of the sounds that a language likes to use, particularly the vowels. Listening here, you’re going to hear a lot of “eh” and “ooh”, a lot of soft schwa sounds, and no “ae” or “oh”—the only long vowel is “ee”. You might pick up an odd nasal quality to a lot of those sounds, as if the singer is actually say, “yeh” or “yoo”.

Russian has different phonemes than North American English. A phoneme is “any of the speech sounds which are perceived to be a single distinctive sound in the language. An example is the English phoneme /k/, which occurs in words such as cat, kit, scat, skit.” There are a couple Russian consonants that seem to give English-speakers trouble (most obviously Ж in hockey fandom. The (Y)evgeni(i)ys just have to go and confuse North Americans more by also calling each other Женя, “Zhenya”, which fans often try to say with a G or a J sound. It’s pronounced like the S in “pleasure” or “treasure.”) But mostly, it’s all about the vowels, which don’t line up with English spelling or pronunciation very neatly.

In North American schools your teacher probably talked about how English has long and short vowel sounds.

And Y does double duty, as a mystery vowel and a consonant that can jump in before or after other vowels.

You’re not really going to hear any long vowel sounds in Russian, except for ē. Instead, Russian has hard and soft vowels:

The hard vowels are close to English short vowels. The matching soft vowel is pronounced pretty much the same but you glide into them with a “y” sound.

So Э and E are  “ĕ” and “yĕ.”  

O and ё are “ŏ” and “yŏ.” 

(Standard Russian speakers splinch O and A (“ŏ” and “ă”) into a schwa sound, a phenomenon called аканье/akanye.)

And so on.

The exception is Ы and и, who are both shifty characters. Ы drifts between ĕ and ĭ,  and и moves between ĭ and the long e sound.

(“и” also happens to mean “and.” You’ll hear hockey players, especially Kuznetsov, make a sort of horrible high-pitched eeeee sound all the time in interviews. That’s Russian Hockey Player for “…uh….” )

й is the Cyrillic character for the Y-consonant sound after a vowel, as in “Moй/Moy”. The symbols ь and Ъ can also appear on their own, and they palatalize the consonant before (adding a sort of Y twist to the end of it), or explicitly forbid you from doing that. This sound is rendered with a J or a Y after the consonant in different Russian transliteration systems. The IIHF uses Y.

So when we get transliterating, we’re going to have to have Ys all up in everything.

Евгений 

This is where the many Yevgenis come in. 

Every Евгений is best said as “Yev-gen-ee-y.” (I’d say it kind of ends in a little Y twist, but that’s because it’s kind of easier to say and a Cyrillic spelling artifact. You say “Yevgeneeee” or “Yevgenee-y” depending on your natural voice and how quickly you’re speaking.)

You don’t necessarily say the first syllable with a heavy Y like “yeah,” but the glide has to be there. “Eh-vgen-ee” would be an entirely different name, spelled Эвгений. And Э just isn’t a very popular sound in Russian: only 2 male names start with it. Maybe there’re some hipster parents out there naming their son Эвгений right now to annoy people, but otherwise, no.

Simplicity

Since Y is playing an important role in the basic vowels, we don’t really want to use it to represent the long e sound the way it sometimes does in English.

So “Yevgeni” is preferred over “Yevgeny” or “Yevgeniy.” Yevgeniy is the most technically accurate, but let’s be honest, North Americans are going to pronounce them all the same and the second two are just way too much Y.

The one time you will see reliably Ys standing alone is in patronymics. Yevgeni Kuznetsov’s father is also named Yevgeni, so his full, intensely boring name is Евгений Евгеньевич. “Yevgeneey Yevgen-ee-e-vich” is not exactly a delight to have to say. The suffix -евич/-evich means something, so you don’t change the letters in there, but you can drop the last vowel of the first name and palatalize the last consonant, making it into an easier “nyuh” sound. So it becomes “Yevgenyuh-evich,” which we can transliterate as Yevgenyevich. 

With a name like “Aleksandr,” the IIHF standard says go ahead and spell it as the familiar “Alexander,” because you’re gonna pronounce the two the say anyway.

Consistency

So every Евгений whose name is pronounced the same way should be spelled the same way—and players whose names are pronounced differently…should be spelled differently.

Семён и Сёмин

The IIHF standards were introduced after feedback from Russian players, most directly Semyon Varlamov.

By 2011 the NHL had officially spelled Varlamov’s given name, Семён, as:

Simeon

Semyen

Simyan

Simyon

Semin

and of course, Semen.

Ah, cross-cultural respect.

Listen, the fact it’s Varlamov makes that feel just. But it was being done randomly to everyone. 

And it was especially on the nose because Varlamov was on the same team as  Александр Сёмин—Alexander Semin.

Semin’s surname, Сёмин, is pronounced something like “Syaw-min”. (Akanye turns it into an A-sound, which is how his nickname, Сёмa, is pretty much pronounced “Sam,” rather than the way North American fans probably read it when they see “Sema.”) Under IIHF rules, his current KHL jersey is spelled SYOMIN.

But when he entered the NHL someone said, “That sure looks like an e to me,” and wrote down “S-E-M-I-N” Few years later that same spelling wizard looked at Семён (pronounced “Sim-yawn”) and said, “Man, I got this.”

Team officials, media, fans, even their teammates read the Latin spellings, naturally assumed their names were pronounced the same way, and went around calling both of them the same thing. Someone yells something that sounds like “semen” in the locker room, or on the ice in the middle of a game, and both of them have to turn around.

Semyon addressed the pronunciation with media, pointed out the confusion with his own teammate, filed paperwork to officially change the spelling (because he had to do that, the League had functionally taken away his name), and contacted the IIHF to ask them to step in, which they did.

(Semin did…nothing, because he would literally rather turn into a snow leopard and run away to nap in the sunshine and eat flowers and squirrels and live in the forest forever than talk to an official. So his name is still spelled SEMIN.)

More “Right”

Pronunciation isn’t a moral issue. As we grow up, our mouths learn to shape the phonemes we’re using all the time and our brains trim away the nerve connections for making sounds we don’t need. Some of us can learn some of those back, and some of us can’t, and we certainly can’t learn very well if we don’t have examples and help.

And it is strikingly hard to find that for Russian in North America.

Until the ’90s, management and especially announcers had no way to hear names pronounced before they had to try to spell or say them because there was no real cultural exchange between North America and the USSR: no TV, no radio, no way to hear the voices of Russian people except briefly on the ice. Miracle had Al Michaels recreate his goal calls because at the time he’d only had a hasty list of the Soviet line-up that he begged off the officials, and he took a wild swing at Vyacheslav Fetisov. A decade later Fetisov came to America and we were able to hear him speak and learn his name.

It’s unimaginable now, but when Ovechkin was drafted, many broadcasters were calling him “Alexander ov-itch-kin,” not “Oh-veh-chkin.” Because they actually did do their homework: they were trying to listen to Russian-language broadcasters and recreate their pronunciation. If you hear a Russian speaker say it, the middle vowel does sound a lot more like an I than a drawling North American “eh.” But then we all said it a thousand times a day and our mouths settled into sounds that are comfortable for us.

Which is fine, we’re not in any way Wrong for calling him “Oh-veh-chkin.” Just saying a Russian person’s name differently than native speakers say it isn’t a horrible thing. (‘Native speakers’ of every language fight each other all the time, too.) What matters is respect: trying our best to transliterate and pronounce a name shows that we’re listening to that person and we’re valuing them.

I think it says something that it’s still hard to hear any Russian in North America, it’s still hard to learn these names, and so we still say them in a very North American way.  Even if we’re not the ones making it, the Russian voice still mostly exists in our consciousness as a joke.

Sometimes that joke feeds into innocent not-quite-accuracies. And sometimes like with the Se(i)(y)(o)mi(y)(o)ns, it feeds something that feels a little…less of us.

It’s been 16 years* and we’re still turning their names, one of the few personal things they were able to bring with them to the foreign world of North America, into dick jokes. It’s hardly the worst insult in the world or in the NHL: making each others’ names into dick jokes is hockey players’ primary sport. It’s just that the foundation of the joke is, “I actually didn’t take the time to listen to you say your own name,” and that makes it seem small of us. And it seems smaller after they made repeated requests and took legal action to ask for their names back, and we’ve not only kept doing it, most of us don’t know or remember that they asked us to stop.

some very much aren’t

It’s worth remembering Russians still make up a small percentage of the NHL, and most of the active Russian NHLers came over before 2011.The Russian voice in North American hockey is still small. So the spelling of Russian names is still controlled by North Americans NHL officials, and it’s a small and wild pool of possible spellings. Change comes slowly, if it comes at all.

Most of the new prospects’ surnames do seem to have been effectively standardized, but I’m not really sure where future Yevgenis stand at this point in the NHL. Евгений Свечников is the newest I know of: under IIHF rules he’s Yevgeni Svechnikov, but it seems he’s still being spelled “Evgeny” in the NHL. Because it’s such a common name and several Yevgeni-spelled-Evgenys have been high-profile players, we’re all already used to seeing Evgeni and Evgeny, and NHL officials might easily choose to keep using them for PR reasons.

This was fun! somebody ask me about nicknames or patronymics or the Czechs next, please. I need to keep expanding my embarrassing tabloid glitterbomb vocabulary.