#why do they think people wanted to get into stonewall inn anyway???

[wild-at-mind]

I get why people like the whole queer existence is resistance thing. I don't personally, because I think it puts a tonne of intracommunity pressure to exist in the 'right' way, I.e. the way that is 'radical' to the person currently scrutinising you. As a person with OCD that manifests in self scrutiny that I have to constantly concentrate on to avoid it becoming self hatred, I'm never going to be a fan of that. I kind of feel this way about any kind of assimilation conversation with regards to queerness really. I think it's an important conversation within irl communities who already care for each other- who shows up for others outside of their own interests and who doesn't, etc. But the internet makes things so impersonal and cold. It encourages people to make very serious snap judgements about others who they don't even know, and to encourage others to believe that about them. None of these people are in community together in any meaningful sense, or they wouldn't treat each other so ungenerously.

Anyway I had a bit of a realisation earlier- I think we have to tell ourselves our existence is inherently radical all the time because we're always getting the subtle message from our community and the wider activism community that having a good time or enjoying yourself is somehow bad, or insulting to people in dire straits. But instead of challenging that idea we say no it's OK because I'm doing activism simply by being here. I think it's fine to feel that way and in many ways existing as a marginalised person really is radical. I just want to make sure we aren't internalising the idea that we can't ever be happy or having a fun frivolous time without justifying it, and passing that idea along to others without meaning to.

[mychemicalroadworkahead]

Hi I’m gonna be an insufferable prick and explain a bunch of my comic series because uhm. I really like it.

General content warnings: self harm, suicide, drugs, eating disorder, addiction, death, sexual assault, murder, and probably other stuff but those are the specific things I want you to know of.

First off, characters!

Toby: he’s 20, has adhd, homeless, and like. 5’7”? He’s got roughly shoulder length hair and was dating Jesse first and yeah (I’ll get into the polycule stuff later). He does not like going to bars with Jesse because people always treat Jesse like a little kid (and Jesse always pays for him, he feels bad about both things) but he agreed to go to stonewall inn because he’d been hired at a new job that day and Mikey and Jesse wanted to take him out to celebrate. He killed Mikey on accident because he got scared when the fights started breaking out and had a piece of broken glass in his hand as a precaution and Mikey tried to drag him to a back alley so they’d be safe and Toby got scared and shanked him without realizing that it was him. He realized and immediately ran away. (No he didn’t call 911 because fun fact: EMS wasn’t created in the US until 1973 and stonewall happened in 69.)

Jesse: he’s the mc in the comic, he’s 19, has anorexia (if you saw the original drawings yeah I changed it), and had fungal meningitis as a child that resulted in the loss of his right leg, and because any prosthetics that were available at the time were incredibly expensive and he has the balance of a drunken newborn, he’s wheelchair bound (he does always fold his left pant leg because he thinks it’s funny and also it keeps it out of the way). He started dating Mikey first out of him and Toby. He made it to the back alley where Mikey tried to take Toby and ran into Mikey’s body. He was, understandably horrified. While he was still in shock he made his way home (which took roughly an hour and a half) and realized he needed someone to be with him so he went to his friend James’s house and they. Okay so they end up fucking. And it is a pattern that continues. It’s important to the comic plot I promise. But it’s a whole thing and then James eventually goes okay dude this is really bad for you like I think you should actually talk it out yknow and then Jesse just sorta goes oh yeah you’re right and promptly goes home and develops a self harm addiction and he was. Sorta using random bits of metal he found on the ground outside and a guy sees him picking one up and assumes he’s gonna use it to do cocaine and is like yo if you wanna do drugs with other people I’m about to shoot up some heroin if you want some and he just goes yeah sure and yeah anyway he gets aids. And then he finds out and he kills himself via overdose.

Mikey: he’s trans and 18 and he had leukemia and he wanted to be a doctor and yeah I love him he’s my favorite if he lived long enough he would’ve been an EMT but he didn’t because Toby killed him and he doesn’t know it was an accident so he assumed it was a hate crime and he’s understandably pissed about it because he sees it as like fucking hell I was already gonna die young from leukemia but then my fucking boyfriend fucking shanked me and cut me off sooner than I should’ve been. He also narrates the entire comic so any boxes of text are just him talking. He’s like 5’9” and he doesn’t like sex jokes because they embarrass the shit out of him. He’s only actually seen in the last issue of the comic where he’s in the afterlife which is just the back rooms with Jesse and the fight each other and then just end up collapsing in a corner and Mikey starts sobbing because fuck Jesse killed himself and he feels bad that he felt like that and just starts compulsively apologizing and saying he loves him and idk I think that would be the end of the comic. He’s also got a little heterochromia spice because why not

Benji: he’s 23, Italian American, like 5’5”, has hyperosmia, and is a heroin addict (he’s the one that offered to share with Jesse). He’s also married* to Jane and he loves them very much. He started off with smoking cigarettes and it escalated in the order of weed, cocaine, heroin. He started smoking and drinking as a teenager to try to keep his ptsd at bay (he was sexually assaulted by a friend walking home one night), and it’s a combination of the distraction and high that got him addicted (once he started doing coke he stopped drinking because they were both expensive and he didn’t want to spend that much). He has a decent amount of trust issues for obvious reasons, but he would, and on many occasions has, trusted Jane with his life. He was at stonewall celebrating his and Jane’s second wedding anniversary.

Jane: they’re 25, Native American, queer, an alcoholic, and will fuck you up if you hurt someone they’re close to. They’re also 6’1” and have 4 foot long hair. They’re a cashier at the corner store and they know a lot of people because of it. They have a soft spot in their heart for rats because there were so many where they grew up and they kept them as pets. No one knows what sex they were assigned at birth but everyone they’re friends with accepts that this is unimportant. They’re alcoholism didn’t really have a reason to happen, they were just drinking frequently and one day realized it had been almost three months since they were last sober. It took them a while but at the time of the comic they’re two months sober. They are the one that found Jesse’s body.

Lauren: she’s 22, demiromantic, lesbian, Latina, has adhd and auditory processing disorder, and is a smoker. She works at the library with Jesse and they’re besties. Her favorite genre of book is horror because her dad got her into it. Her mother died in childbirth but her father made sure she had everything she needed and as much as he could provide. She’s incredibly close with her father and she makes dinner for them at his house once a week. She dated Cali for a bit before the comic but they broke up roughly two years prior to the start. She is in fact named after her mother because why not. She was not at stonewall initially but she joined in the riots the second day.

Caliope (Cali): she’s 23, asexual, transgender, is dating Alex, and has bipolar disorder. She’s a bartender at the Stonewall Inn and she stayed through all the rioting. She’s decently polite but if you don’t respect her don’t expect her to give you the time of day. She loves her job and her favorite drink to make is an old fashioned but she hates the taste of liquor. She has been known to mix wine and soda occasionally, but mostly drinks the orange juice when she’s working. She’s absolutely the subject of the song Lola by the kinks.

Alexander (Alex): he’s 21, bisexual, transgender and has ocd. He’s in a t4t relationship with Cali. He works at a gas station and actually adores pumping gas for people because he likes the smell. One of his main compulsions is clenching his hands which he developed because of his job. He has motor tics as a comorbidity with his ocd and his neck is in constant pain because of it. The tics piss him off just as much as his compulsions do. He was bringing Cali dinner and got caught up in the riots on the 28. He ended up with a broken arm.

George: 64, autistic, Italian and Irish, has bipolar disorder and chronic pain disorder, owns and runs the corner store. He’s also Adam’s uncle and was his primary caregiver for about 13 years because his wife’s family died in a house fire on Christmas Eve. He was home sick that year so he couldn’t go. He’s a cheery old chap despite the loss, and tried his best to raise Adam right and well. He struggled with alcoholism for a bit before his wife died, but the circumstances of her death made him get his shit together. He feels terrible for the things he did before he got it together and he wishes the people he hurt could understand how sorry he is.

Adam: he’s 47, Hispanic and Italian, gay, has ocd, and helps run the corner store. His mother was George’s sister in law, more specifically his wife’s sister. He has vague memories of his family, but he was 6 when the fire happened. He figured out a cocktail of over the counter drugs that helped to reduce symptoms of his ocd, but the compulsions still come out occasionally, though they’re mostly in the form of obsessing over intrusive thoughts. He’s constantly very worried about hurting people, and the intrusive thoughts do not help at all. He had a pretty good childhood all things considered, but he was mostly isolated by other kids. His favorite part of working at the corner store is restocking because he enjoys the mind numbing quality of the repetitive movements.

James: he’s 20, autistic, aromatic, African American, and Jesse’s best friend ^. He’s decidedly an artist, in a sense that he spends every available waking moment writing, drawing, or baking. He loves poetry and realistic fiction novels, as well as street art and photography. He once spent an entire day working on an amazing drawing just to be horrendously disappointed when he woke up to discover that not only was it a dream, but he couldn’t for the life of him remember what he was drawing. He’s a local handyman and enjoys fixing things. He’s a very loving person and he’s been friends with Jesse since they were kids, as they lived next door to each other and were both bullied in school.

And now for the polycule because I feel like it needs it’s own explanation:)

Polycule in general: okay alright so Toby and Jesse started dating in high school then they graduated a bit after and then a couple months later Mikey graduated and he met Jesse at a library and Jesse worked there so they would see each other a lot. So Jesse asks Toby hey would you be cool if I started going out with this guy in addition to going out with you and y’all would be metamors and Toby is like yeah babe that’s chill and so Jesse asks Mikey out and he says yes and they did all the polyamory rigmarole and then dating stuff and then one day Mikey’s like hey I’d really like to meet your boyfriend and Jesse’s like oh alright so they all meet up and Mikey and Toby get along great and they keep hanging out and eventually Mikey and Toby start dating as well so then they’re all three dating and they do cute little three part dates where they draw names for who gets to pick the food who gets to pick a movie and who gets to pick a board game and they love each other so much.

General setting of the comic: Hoboken, NJ, and New York City in late June of 1969, specifically starting on June 28 at around 3:15 am.

*not legally for obvious reasons, but they absolutely consider themselves to be spouses.

^yes yes I did name them after Jesse James

[alternativewinxcontinuity]

Margarita

Home World: Eraklyon (Born in Isis) | (Father is from the lagoon planet: Laugos)

Purview: Fairy of Pearls (Fairy of that which is hidden by 'beauty' or gilded, has a manifest preference for pearls)

Hair Colour: black with an iridescent sheen (purple and blue)

Eye colour: amber-brown

Skin: peachy-beige  

Height: 5 foot something (in heels)

Personality Key Words: polite, accommodating, five-seconds-from-feral, sharp/prickly

Hobbies: diving for treasure (sometimes treasure is a handful of pearls, sometimes it's getting to see a fun looking fish)

Favourite Foods: has a secret love for soft, stuffed fruit-buns

Pixie: N/A

Mother and Early Life:

Margarita comes from a mixed background, born to a single mother in Isis after a brief affair which her mother, Sabbia, believed to be the start of a long lasting relationship, Margarita has always felt the weight of her mother's expectations and desire for a better life for them both.

Their family line has had only weak fairies, and those have been spread out over the generations. Sabbia, was the first fairy of any real strength but her familial duty kept her home bound and helping with the old inn their family runs instead of learning more than the basics about her powers.

During a treaty summit roughly 16-18 years pre-series, the inn hosted the King of Laugos and his entourage, and Margarita was conceived, but Sabbia was left behind when the party returned to their own world.

Her mother pushed Margarita to embrace all the chances Sabbia had missed in her youth, and become the best fairy Margarita could be.

(And also with the hope Margarita's father would acknowledge her existence.)

Unfortunately for Margarita, this push for excellence hits unhealthy levels of obsession for her mother, something Margarita is aware of, but she doesn't feel like she can get out of her current circumstances without throwing everything her mother has ever sacrificed for Margarita back in her face. (And she believes she has nowhere to go.)

Margarita plans to get a well paying job that will allow her to take care of her mother and repay everything Sabbia has ever done for her, but one that will also take her away from her mother frequently. (Academically, logically, Margarita knows she shouldn't have to pay her mother back for doing the basic motherly steps of raising her own child, but beyond just feeling beholden to her mother, Margarita has some genuine affection for Sabbia which makes it difficult to keep an emotional distance.)

As a result of Sabbia's drive for Margarita's success, Margarita had very little social life as a young child which left Margarita feeling forever out of step with her peers, only her experience helping at the inn gave her the (customer service) ability to interact with others in a way that makes her seem personable.

Her academic achievements meant Margarita was always at the top of her class and often somewhat ahead, which helped her to secure scholarships to Eraklyon's premier school to study magic.

Which is where she met Diaspro.

*

Academia and Diaspro:

The two young women have been fighting each other for the top spot in everything since they first took the same exam.  Despite driving one another ever harder, they recognise a kindred spirit, both of them throwing away their own desires (not that they’ve ever really had the chance to figure out what those are exactly) to strive for unobtainable perfection.

They share a mutual, if grudging respect for one another, and any time another student comes close to replacing them at the top of the score boards, they close ranks and study together. (“If someone's going to beat me, it had better be you! I won't lose to some nobody!”)

The high stress of always having to maintain perfect grades and be friendly (if not friends) with everyone is extremely taxing, and Margarita often feels like she's on the edge of a complete meltdown.

*

Biological Quirks:

As a fairy from a long line of strong fairies associated with the elemental idea of earth and stone, Diaspro has a higher than average natural strength which Margarita will never match.

As someone who has a parent from Laugos, Margarita's body has a more efficient respiratory and cardio vascular system which allows her to run for longer and endure less hospitable air qualities better. (and dive for longer without spell assistance.)

Of course, Margarita can't shake off being thrown through a brick wall as easily as Diaspro.

And there's a down side to Laugossian heritage.

Laugos is called the Lagoon planet, it is covered primarily by lagoons and shoals, the surface water in most areas is often only 50 - 100 metres deep, though there are some sections of ocean which are said to be dozens of kilometres deep. (The furthest down most people go is 5 kilometres, which is half the depth of the Marianas Trench on Earth.)

The people of Laugos live in the shallows of the ocean, in crystalline under water cities, their eyes are adapted for extreme glare and constant shifting of light.

Margarita's eyes aren't able to handle the light like a pure-blooded Laugosian would, but her eyes aren't Eraklyon standard either, and occasionally she wears glasses or contacts to regulate her eyes' photo-sensitivity.

*

During the Series:

Margarita has never been Sky's biggest fan, finding out about the events of the Day of the Royals had her ready to commit treason and beat him to death with his own arm, but she decided Diaspro need a sympathetic shoulder more.

*

After Diaspro was kidnapped from her own palace while attending her princess duties, Margarita told Diaspro that she'd developed a theory:

M: “Weird things have been happening to you in the past few years, and it always seems to be while you're off doing your princess things, and therefore I miss them. I propose, you stop going places with out me, because I am clearly the anchor your life revolves around, nothing bizarre has ever happened to you around me, so for your own safety...”

D: *starts laughing and doesn't stop for several minutes* “Yeah, sure, that's how I get my life back on track”

M: “Well if you're going to be sarcastic, see if I ever help you again.”

D: “No! Come back! I need you to help me make 'Queen Consorting for Dummies'.”

M: “... what for?”

D: “urgh, Bloom. Sky's dating her, probably wants to marry her, which means she needs to know everything I know, and she has far less time to learn it in.”

M: “Your making her a cheat guide for Consort studies? Really? Her?”

D: “Sure, why not right? It's my duty as the Heir of Isis to ensure Eraklyon is in the best capable hands, which means making her hands any kind of capable. It's just duty. It's not like she ruined my life, stole my purpose and destroyed my entire sense of identity!!”

M: “... I don't know exactly when I became the calm, stable one in this relationship, but I hate it.”

*

Shortly before Valtor broke out of the Omega Dimension, Margarita received a summons from her father requesting her help.

Prince Litore, the heir to the throne had been injured and cursed in an attack by an ancient sea witch who had suddenly crawled out of the depths of Laugos's ocean, from a place called “koiláda tou thanátou”, (lit. “Death Valley”) the deepest chasm in the ocean floor which few have ever gone into, and which none have ever returned until now.

Margarita was called because her father had known of her existence, but never planned to acknowledge her, until the witch returned. Their ancestor had been a Guardian Fairy who'd defeated the witch before locking the tool she'd used away so it couldn't be misused, and only a fairy of her bloodline could free it.

Margarita is, of course, the only known fairy of her bloodline currently alive available. And naturally the Prince can’t be un-cursed until the witch has been defeated, so she absolutely has to do that while she’s there retrieving the witch-be-gone-device anyway.

By the time she's finished and able to return to Eraklyon, Diaspro has already been banished.

(Which makes Margarita laugh in hysterics, because she's just gotten herself perma-banned from Laugos for punching the king in the face after he acted like they'd done her a favour for calling her, rather than her doing Laugos and the royal family a favour by showing up and risking her life to save them.)

Margarita agrees that she could see how people would think so, but she's 100% certain Diaspro did not roofie prince Sky of her own free will. Not that Margarita can ever prove it one way or the other because the Eraklyon Royal guards stonewall her attempts to investigate.

*

Margarita's Father:

You may have guessed, Margarita's father is the King of Laugos.

Unlike with her mother, Margarita has no mixed feelings about her father and thinks he's 100% a piece of garbage (and not even the classy kind you're supposed to recycle).

She's also 78% certain she has more siblings than Prince Litore, who she thinks is arrogant and naïve, but not a complete loss if he can get his head out of his ass.

[faemytho]

ds // onebizarrekai

so uh. tobin has some really nice headcanons.

tags: transphobia, homophobia, implied sexual assault, implied murder, coming out story, internal misgendering, unintentional misgendering

this is also very unedited bc im Tired, gay, and pls look at these trans boys i love them

-------------

The seed of a thought first planted itself when Dream had talked about her to the villagers. He'd been gesturing gently, spine ramrod straight and poised into the perfect picture of composure. A particularly nasty one yelled loud enough for Nightmare to hear.

"She's a witch, and she protects nothing but trouble!"

Nightmare had hidden under the covers the whole day after that, squishing her chest uncomfortably against the mattress and feeling sick to her stomach.

Dream didn't bother her.

----

She cursed, stumbling over the uneven pavement, her cape flying out behind her. Stupid fucking guards. Stupid fucking justice initiative. Where was her justice, huh?

"Did you think of that, Dream?" She muttered, slipping around a corner and inside the building she'd just rounded. She didn't stay long, fleeing out the back. She hated her voice, though she couldn't quite pinpoint why. She didn't exactly have time to either. You didn't have time to sit and dawdle when your best fucking friend was trying to hunt you down with his freaky ass wings and new glowing eyes and spouting off the same nonsense she'd heard from the villagers her whole life. She figured it was something that would happen, Dream turning against her, but she never thought he would go this far, to this degree. And it hurt.

Holding her breath, she pressed herself against the wall, peeking around the corner. Clear.

She'd live another day.

----

"Oh, Margaret, did you hear what happened at the Stonewall Inn?"

"Of course I did, everyone's heard of it by now."

Nightmare paused, listening in. She wasn't exactly sure why. But the two women sitting at the outside café said nothing else about it, and eventually went on their ways. Nightmare watched one of them reach out to squeeze the other's hand, gently, before they left. Lesbians, then. Not that Nightmare had a problem with them, but it was dangerous to be affectionate in public if you were queer.

She meant to forget about it, but Stonewall Inn nagged at her mind, and she went to go find it herself.

She learned a lot about herself that day.

----

Nightmare felt comfortable, for once. That was saying something. He hadn't felt very comfortable in his own body since that day in the village. At least the name 'Nightmare' wasn't gendered. He didn't want to change it.

He kept his hair long at first, only binding when he went out. He was proud of himself for even going this far in his presentation.

The first time it happened, the person was drunk and handsy, and Nightmare had frozen up, his skin crawling and no longer feeling like his own.

He cut his hair after that.

But it kept happening, more people, different places.

He didn't keep count.

----

How his skin prickled. Dream had caught him, but there were alarms going off, and for once it wasn't his fault. When all the guards left, he fled the cell, and ran right into a face he only just barely recognized.

"I thought I told you to stay the fuck away from JR!" He snapped, grabbing them by the hand and dragging them with him.

He'd met Cross that day. Cross didn't ask him questions. Cross was useful.

Most importantly, Cross was a friend, and when Nightmare came out to him, he understood.

Most of it.

Error was the same way.

----

"Yo, Night, your binder's clean."

"Thank fucking god, you're a lifesaver Error, my lifeblood," Nightmare declared, his voice still light and floaty, and in his opinion, undermining his very important announcement.

Error muttered obscenely under his breath, tossing the fabric at him haphazardly from where he sat buried on the couch in blankets. Cross sat on the floor in front of him, mashing the buttons on his controller and hardly paying attention. Error sat down next to him, and Nightmare took the opportunity to shuck his top off and slip the binder over his head.

"You really shouldn't wear it at home," Error muttered, not looking at him while he pulled his top back on.

"Where the fuck else am I gonna wear it? Running for my life? Can barely breathe correctly after that, y'know," Nightmare snarked back, reaching out to gently flick the back of Error's head. His friend gave a little start, before turning his head back to face him.

"Well," Error started, unsure of himself now. He crossed his arms, huffing. "Still."

Nightmare snorted, burrowing back underneath the blankets. Life was good.

----

"You are going to come quietly, and you will not make a fuss."

Dream looked strangely cruel in that moment, and Nightmare hated it, his aura flaring lowly. The guards behind him held his wrists behind his back, and the guards beside him gripped his forearms tightly. He'd given up on struggling, figuring that it'd just be easier go and break out later. Error and Cross had gotten away, after all. They'd come back for him.

Dream turned away from him, calling back to the guards.

"Make sure she's properly restrained."

Nightmare felt as though he'd been dunked in ice cold water. He hadn't been called 'she' for a long time. It sunk down his chest like a stone, growing heavier and heavier, and he was suddenly very aware of his binder around his chest.

Ink, by Dream's side, watched him. Not that he noticed.

----

"I'm not sure why you thought changing your appearance so drastically would keep me from finding you."

Nightmare huffed, glaring at Dream from behind the bars on the door. He sat on the bed provided, his knees pulled up to his chest. He'd never hated his body so much before.

"I'm not sure why how I choose to appear is any of your freaking business, Your Highness," he snarked, and Dream's stoic expression twitched momentarily into irritation.

"It hardly matters much now, Nightmare. You've always been this way," Dream sighed, turning away from the cell.

Nightmare put his head down, tears burning in the corners of his eyes.

"Guard her cell."

Dream's footsteps faded, and he was left alone with his thoughts, hoping Error and Cross would come soon.

They did.

They always did.

----

"You're trans, right?"

Nightmare stopped in his tracks. He knew it was dangerous to keep his back turned to Justice Reigns's top mercenary, but he was too shocked to do anything but freeze up.

A hand rested on his shoulder and he whacked it off, turning to look up into Ink's eyes.

"Why do you want to know?" He snapped, his voice that light and reedy tone he hated. Feminine. Not what he was.

"Figured it was worth asking." Ink shrugged, sliding his paint brush into the holder across his back. He shoved his hands in his pockets and Nightmare took a step back, tensing up. He didn't like how relaxed Ink was, half expecting an ambush from Justice Reigns guards.

"... Yes, I am. What's it to you?" He snapped, and he cringed silently, hating how high his voice was.

"Same hat. What pronouns?"

Nightmare stopped, blinking stupidly. "He, him. Why."

Ink shrugged again, a ghost of a smile twitching against his mouth. "You on hormones?"

"Uh, no? Nowhere to get them. Nowhere safe, at least." He gripped his staff tighter, knuckles turning white.

"I can fix that."

"You're not safe."

"You think Justice Reigns isn't safe?" Ink paused. "Don't answer that. My point is, I can get you hormones. I already get my own testosterone, nobody'll suspect if I'm the one to smuggle you some."

Nightmare breathed out slowly, hating the feeling of hope bubbling in his chest.

"I literally meant you, shitwit. Why would you help me anyways?"

"Not being able to pass isn't fun. It's free at Justice Reigns, you know. Binders, hormones, surgeries. All that shit. Not very 'just' to exclude you."

It didn't make sense to him, why Ink wanted to help. Maybe somewhere in there, Ink had made some alternate connection that Nightmare couldn't understand, because Ink had actually shown up the next week, handed him the case he said he would, and left. No ambush, no Justice Reigns guards, no Dream.

Life was great.

----

Life was, decidedly, not so great.

Dream stared down at him, eyes wide.

Calloused hands cupped his face, and Nightmare couldn't breathe, couldn't move as Dream's eyes flickered over his features, confused and uncertain. It was almost unbearable, seeing Dream without the spark of recognition in his eyes for him.

Nightmare coughed, and the sound came out deeper than it ever had before. His voice had changed, finally, thanks to the testosterone shots Ink was supplying him with. He didn't actually care who they were from, as long as he had them in the first place. Ink had been trustworthy in one regard.

"... Nightmare?" Dream started, and Nightmare took a step back, away from Dream's hands, reaching up to rub nervously at the stubble that had started to grow. Dream's gaze hardened.

"Nightmare-"

He fled.

Dream didn't chase him.

----

"Why wouldn't she tell me?"

"He."

"Why wouldn't he tell me?"

Ink shrugged, flopping on one of the couches in Dream's office and pulling out his phone.

"I mean, not like he could just waltz up to you and say 'hey Dream, guess what I'm trans', you know?"

Dream let out a long breath, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"And just how long have you been meeting up with her- him, to supply her- him, with these hormones?"

Ink snorted, looking vaguely amused at Dream's furious attempts to correct himself.

"A while now. I mean, dude's on the run, where else is he gonna get hormones he knows are safe?"

Dream sighed and dropped his head in his hands, slumping in his chair.

"I need to go through all his paperwork," he muttered, sounding vaguely horrified. Ink snickered, looking up from his phone.

"See? You're getting it."

----

"Stop him!"

Nightmare skidded around the corner, laughing gleefully and dodging a swipe from Ink's brush. Black paint splattered the wall beside him, and he hooked his staff into the building ahead of him and vaulted on top of it.

"Do not let him and his accomplices get away, Nightmare must be detained now."

From the rooftops, he could see Dream, giving orders in a voice that easily carried over the buildings. Dream caught his eye, and he grinned. He hadn't ever felt so euphoric before.

Dream raised a brow at his smile, a smile of his own rising from sheer disbelief. It made Nightmare cackle and continue running.

Error was just below, and Cross was fighting off the guards nearby.

"Nightmare man, c'mon!" Error shouted, ripping open a portal. Cackling still, Nightmare tumbled down from the roof, kicking against the wall and rolling to the ground. He knocked the last two guards over the heads and rushed for the portal.

"Nightmare, stop!"

"Shit," Cross swore, raising his knife and backing up slowly. Nightmare turned, and Dream stood there in the mouth of the alley.

"You can all come quietly, or we can take you back by force."

Nightmare snorted, unable to keep the smile off his face.

"Sorry, got plans and my boyfriends said I can't. Maybe you can take me out another time, though. Dinner and a movie?"

Error snorted and Cross burst out laughing, and Dream, to their surprise, huffed and sheathed his sword.

"Insufferable. Very well then," Dream spoke, his face carefully blank. "Though I am choosing the movie."

Nightmare sputtered, and Cross immediately hooked his arms underneath Nightmare's, proceeding to haul him back through the portal.

Dream let them go.

[iwanthermidnightz]

Sorry if this is a stupid question. But can someone explain why people are pissed at Taylor for “taking up a seat” at the GLAAD award show? Like it’s an “ally price”? Shouldn’t allies be appreciated? The award was going to be given to someone anyways, they always give out that award don’t they? So I feel like it’s more of an extra seat in the room rather than taking up someone else’s seat? Idk, I’m just confused about it

A lot of people believe allies shouldn’t be awarded. But glaad also has awards for LGBTQ+ people obviously, this is just one that typically goes to an ally… and yes in the past some have been on the spectrum. I really don’t want to get into this debate because everyone has their opinions… but I don’t see what the big deal is. It may seem random to people that Taylor is getting the award but I think it’s part of a much bigger picture. Over the years Taylor has donated hundreds of thousands of dollars to LGBTQ organizations. She’s helped restore the Stonewall Inn and much more. I think anyone who contributes their voice, time, or money to advocate for our community should be applauded. I would like to wait and see what happens. Do I think she needs to make a clear statement? Yes. So people don’t get it twisted and keep accusing her of appropriating the culture because its the ‘in’ thing like they have been doing. 

[amostexcellentblog]

Judy Garland: Reflections on an Icon, Gay or Otherwise

Today, June 22, 2019, marks the 50th anniversary of the day we lost one of the world’s greatest entertainers, Judy Garland. In just a few days time we will observe an even more momentous 50th anniversary, that of the Stonewall Uprising which birthed the modern LGBTQ equality movement. If you’re familiar with your queer folk history, you’ll know there are those who claim this close timing is not a coincidence. But we’ll get to that later.

I first encountered Garland the way most people do--my parents showed me The Wizard of Oz when I was little. I don’t remember much of the experience aside from wanting to be a flying monkey for Halloween, and that “Over the Rainbow” made me cry, which was the first time any piece of media had made such an impact on me. It never really occurred to me that the woman who sang that song could have had a career beyond Oz until 12 years ago when I was just finishing Middle School and becoming interested in the Old Hollywood era. She was the first star I formed an emotional connection to, and as I happily made my way through her filmography and read up on her life I first encountered the phrase “gay icon.”

I knew what gay meant, obviously. I was vaguely aware of the LGBTQ and marriage equality movements, but at the time I mostly knew “gay” as the insult hurled at me seemingly everyday of Middle School for a series of things I never gave a second thought to but were apparently tell-tale signs that I was that way, and thus a figure deserving of torment--how I carried my books, how I sat, how I looked. My basic opinion of being gay at that point was that it’s fine for other people, but dear god don’t let this be my future!

So, when I realized that the star I was idolizing was famous for being idolized by gay men, I did what I’d become very adept at doing, I ignored the implications. Denial allowed me to spend high school working my way through her films, youtube videos, documentaries, and a biography without really examining why this woman resonated so much with me. So now, as we approached these two anniversaries, it seemed like a good time to finally try to sort through what she meant to me. What I ended up with instead is an essay that’s part personal reflection and part mediation on the meaning of the term “Gay Icon” in the era of Marriage Equality and Corporate-Sponsored Pride.

The term “Gay Icon” has been used to mean several similar, but different types of people. To clarify, when I talk about Gay Icons in this post, I’m talking specifically about a subset of gay icons related to the so-called “Diva Worship” culture among gay men. Nobody really seems to know why exactly gay men are so drawn to larger-than-life women, I’ve heard too many reasons to go into them all now, but even if not all of us go for the cliches (Cher, Gaga, etc.) pretty much every gay man has a female figure--real or fictional--they connect with in a way their straight male peers don’t.

Looking back, it’s obvious why Garland resonated with me. She was chronically insecure, especially about her looks--as was I. She spent her life wanting desperately to for someone to love her unconditionally and to be able to love them back, only to be denied this simple happiness time after time--well, of course that would resonate with a gay audience, especially in her lifetime. And she was a survivor, repeatedly cast aside by the press and the industry as washed up, she continually had the last laugh. She had a strength to her that I wanted. It was a different kind of strength than the physical/masculine kind offered by the pro-athletes and superheroes my male peers emulated, but which I found unrelatable and unappealing. Hers was a strength that came dressed in sequins and high heels, and I just thought it was fabulous.

Garland though, is more than just a gay icon, in a lot of ways she seems to be the gay icon. The popular code phrase “friend of Dorothy” is generally assumed to be a reference to her character in Oz. She maintained close friendships with gay men throughout her life, with whom she would frequent illegal gay bars on both coasts. Her father was a closeted homosexual, and biographers have speculated this is why so many of the men she was attracted to, both as friends and romantically, turned out to be gay or bi. She was one of the first celebrities to have their gay following acknowledged in the mainstream press. There’s even footage on youtube of her being asked directly about why she attracts so many “homosexuals,” and she is visibly thrown by it.

To understand why Garland would be so flustered over that question, it’s important to understand how being popular with the gay community was perceived in her lifetime. William Goldman’s The Season, his influential book about the 1967–68 season on and off Broadway, includes an account from an unnamed screenwriter friend describing a mid-1960s cocktail party that offers a fascinating glimpse at just that:

I can’t explain her appeal, but I saw it work once in this crazy way. I was at a party in Malibu... There were a lot of actors there, the word on them was that they were queer, but this was a boy-girl party, everyone was paired off, and these beautiful men and gorgeous broads were talking together and drinking together. Anyway, everything’s going along and it’s sunny, I’m getting a little buzzed... when I realized, Garland was in the room.

The guy she’s with, her husband, supports her as she plops down in this chaise, and says what she wants to drink and he goes off to get it. And she’s sitting all alone and for a minute there was nothing, and then this crazy thing started to happen. Every homosexual in the place, every guy you’d heard whispered about, they left the girls they were with and started to mass move towards Garland. She didn’t ask for it, she was just sitting there, while all these beautiful men circled her. They crowded around her and pretty soon she’s disappeared behind this expansive male fence. It may not sound like all that much, but I’m telling you, she magnetized them. 

I’ll never forget all those famous secret guys moving across this gorgeous patio without a sound, and her just sitting there, blinking. And then they were on her, and she was gone. (x)

Another passage describing one of her concerts in 1967, from Goldman himself, is even more blunt:

Another flutter of fags, half a dozen this time, and watching it all from a corner--two heterosexual married couples. “These fags” the first man says, “it’s like Auschwitz, some of them died along the way but a lot of them got here anyhow!” He turns to the other husband and shrugs, “Tonight, no one goes to the bathroom.” (x)

Both passages, laced with condescension, homophobia, and misogyny, are nevertheless useful windows into a pre-Stonewall way of looking at how far gay culture has come. Today Lady Gaga can sing “Don’t be a drag just be a queen” on a lead single and still reign as a queen of pop music, back then any association with homosexuality was enough to taint you. Garland’s popularity with gay men opens her up to condescending mockery, while gay men’s mere existence at a public event is enough to terrify the heterosexual attendees.

Still, the most revealing part of that last passage might not be the homophobia, but the opening reference to “another flutter of fags, half a dozen.” The fact that a decent amount of gay men evidently felt comfortable enough to express themselves at least somewhat openly at a mainstream public event is notable. In this pre-Stonewall era such openness was generally reserved for bars and other covert safe spaces.

Which brings us back to the first paragraph. If you know any queer folk history, then you’ve probably heard this one--Judy Garland’s funeral sparked the Stonewall Uprising. That fateful night in June the Stonewall Inn was packed with gay men still emotionally raw from losing their idol, so much so that when the police raided the joint they channeled that anger and loss, and fought back, and the modern LGBTQ movement was born! It’s a story that would solidify Garland’s status as the definitive gay icon, a martyr for the cause, (move over Harvey Milk!) Except, it’s not true. It’s been debunked multiple times. Most recently in this video from the NY Times.

I bring it up though, because even if she wasn’t the cause, she was still connected to that historic night, if only indirectly. Even as the NY Times video debunks the myth of her funeral causing it, two of the uprising’s participants interviewed do admit to being at Garland’s funeral, which really was held just hours before the violence started. Other accounts from people who patronized Stonewall have said that “Judy Garland” was a popular fake name to use on a sign-in book at the entrance. In other words, even if she didn’t cause them, she was still an important figure for some of the people who went on to build the modern equality movement.

As a final thought to wrap this all up, I’ve been thinking about Garland and her status as a gay icon. It’s no secret that as the years have passed by she’s been somewhat supplemented by younger icons for younger generations. There’s been some question over whether Garland even has a place in a gay culture that now has people like Lady Gaga and “Born This Way,” openly acknowledging their gay fans in ways Garland never could. 

At the same time, I can’t help but feel the recent debate over Taylor Swift’s gay-themed music video demonstrates why Garland still deserves her Gay Icon status, even if most younger queer people today don’t have the same connection to her that older generations did. Swift’s video, chocked full of every out celebrity who would return her calls and saturated in a rainbow-hue, has faced criticism for being “performative activism.” That after being fairly silent on the issue for so long she’s now trying to cash-in on the movement by branding her single a new gay anthem for Pride Month. The fact that with one exception, which misuses the word “shade,” the lyrics to the song sound more like they’re referring to Swift’s online haters rather than anti-LGBTQ bigots, certainly helps the critics’ case. As does the fact that Swift never seemed to have much interest in building a large gay following before this.

Yet there’s also a sense that this was inevitable. Corporations already roll out rainbow colored logos for Pride, in retrospect it seems obvious that celebrities, and their PR firms, would start deliberately trying to market themselves as a gay icon without first taking the time to build a large following in the LGBTQ community. (Gaga’s established gay fanbase undoubtedly blunted similar criticisms of “Born This Way,” for example.) Garland in this case then serves as a symbol of a time when the Gay Icon title wasn’t anointed by marketing campaigns, but emerged organically from a genuine affection for an individual held by a large number of queer people. A reminder of how important that affection was to members of our community, (and still is to many of us) even if it could only go one-way. And perhaps even a warning, of what we might lose if we let this important part of gay subculture be transformed into just another marketing gimmick.

But I’ll leave all that for another time. For now, I’ll just say, thank you Judy Garland. Thank you for all the joy and comfort you’ve given to generations of gay men. And thank you especially for the companionship you gave me while I was still figuring some things out.

[freeshavocadoooo]

HAPPY PRIDE ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

It’s June 11 so I’m a little late to the game but let’s appreciate the reason why we have the rights we do.

I, like I assume many of you, had no idea about the stonewall riots. I was just never taught this in school but let’s not rant about the education system, I’d be here forever.

(This isn’t anything I just thought the confetti (?) was cute... moving on (I feel the need to clarify that though wikipedia is pictured here, i didnt use it lol) (broooo i had a lot written and i didnt save it im so upset))

So, growing up I had never been taught about the Stonewall Riots. I had no idea what they were, I don’t think my teachers ever taught it and if they mentioned it, it was probably quickly brushed over. I decided to do some research because hello I’m LGBT how can I be apart of a community and not understand the history behind it? Let’s get into the Stonewall Riots.

In the 1960s, being gay was very much considered a crime, as was cross dressing. Obviously not a good time for gay and trans. Luckily, there were a few gay bars they were able to go to and feel like themselves. In Greenwich Valley, most of the gay bars were owned by the Genovese crime family. The Genovese would bribe the New York’s Sixth precinct to ignore the activities that occur in these clubs. The police would usually tip off the crime family before they’d raid a bar but June 28, 1969, was a different story. 

The police showed up at the bar with a warrant. They began arresting people (13 to be exact), and some of them were crossdressers. Know how they confirmed that they were crossdressers? Female officers would take suspected crossdressers to a bathroom and “check their sex.” As they’re putting people in the police van, an officer reportedly hit a lesbian over the head, causing the crowd outside the club to become angry. The crowd started throwing things at the police, a fire was set in the Inn. The fire department and a riot squad were eventually able to calm and disperse the crowd, but protests continued to happen in Greenwich Valley for the next five days. While obviously these riots didn’t magically grant all LGBT+ rights, it did lead to the creation of many gay rights organizations (such as the Gay Liberation Front and GLAAD, to name a couple). 

Sooooo yeah this is what sparked the Stonewall Riots. Probably going to make another post specifically for Marsha P. Johnson. Was this like ok? IF I GOT ANYTHING WRONG PLEASE CORRECT ME. uhhhh yeah idk like anyway... OH I’m also gonna find petitions not just for LGBT but also for black lives matter. If you’re white or non-black PLEASE use your privilege while also not speaking over black voices (i hope that didnt need to be said but im saying it anyway) like i said PLEASE correct me if any of this information is wrong i dont want to put false information out there

HAPPY PRIDE ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜