#why is percy honestly a menace

[thebadboysuprememcshizzle]

Percy Jackson was totally a "dare me" kid. Like, you're just chilling at lunch and all the sudden he asks if you dare him to mix all his food together and then eat all of it. Or he asks if you dare him to climb a pole and then jump from it. Poor Sally had a lot of medical bills before he discovered ambrosia

[star-girl69]

In A Good Way

Clarisse La Rue x Fem!AphroditeCabin!Reader

—-

sypnosis: basically episode two but if clarisse had a gf (so what should have been canon pretty much)

a/n: sorry dior is so fine i had to get the thoughts out this is kinda shitty also but anyways i hope you all enjoy!!

In A Good Way - Faye Webster

warnings: some violence, swearing, soft and ooc clarisse but only bc i wholeheartedly believe she is soft only for her gf and i love soft clarisse, also protective!clarisse my weakness, i’m insane, cringe, tell me if i missed anything!!

—-

You watch Clarisse bump into the poor boy.

You’re sitting with your siblings, Tyla and Jackie, but your eyes were drawn to her even across the courtyard. Your eyes are always drawn to her.

She shoulders him hard, then immediately turns around and pushes him straight to the ground. Tyla gasps next to you as he crashes sharply into the dirt.

“Your girlfriend is a literal menace, Y/N,” Jackie scoffs.

“How do you think I feel having to deal with her?”

You really do feel bad for the boy, Percy, you think. Regardless of whether or not he really killed the Minotaur (Clar spent the entire night talking your ear off about how it simply can’t be true) it’s his first day at camp. He’s helpless, to say the least.

Feeling less than your whole life and then finally coming to a place where everyone else is like you, finally getting answers- it’s a shock.

You always feel bad for every new camper. Especially the young and tiny ones like him. Besides, you like his cute blonde hair.

“Oh, haha,” Jackie rolls her eyes. “You love her.”

You start to get up, faking a dramatic sigh, “I do.”

Tyla giggles as you walk away and come into earshot.

“Hey. Knock it off, Clarisse. It’s like his first day, come on.” Luke seems as unimpressed as he always does, slightly apathetic, as another Hermes cabin member tugs Percy up.

“Wait, so, this is the kid who killed the Minotaur. Is that right?” she takes a step forward, a misleading smile on her face.

“Yeah,” Percy says, awkwardly looking around.

“I’ll bet,” she smiles, her eyes lighting up in prospect of someone new to torture. “Look, you want attention around here, dummy? You better be ready for it when it comes.”

Her eyes meet yours.

“Clarisse!” you say in a sing-song voice, walking up to her and placing your hand on her shoulder. “He’s, like, twelve.”

“Oh, but he’s strong enough to kill a Minotaur?”

Your eyes lock, her hand brushes your hip, and you get those same cliche butterflies in your stomach you always do when you look at her.

You smile.

You see her eyes soften.

She turns back to Percy after a moment, faking forward, and he flinches so hard he almost falls back.

Her and her Ares siblings laugh, you roll your eyes, and push her away. She walks away, her siblings in tow, and you turn back to Luke.

On Luke, Thalia, and Annabeth’s last stretch to camp, they came across you. Your satyr protector had been killed by a monster protecting you, and Luke had held your hand and promised that all of you were going to make it to camp.

You’ll always have that bond with Luke, even though Clar hates his guts and his best swordsman in camp title.

You place your arm on his shoulder, he slings a loose arm around your waist.

Luke is pretty much the only person who can get away with touching you like this, or else they’ll receive a nice message from Clarisse in the form of a dagger barely missing their face.

“Ares kids,” Luke explains to Percy. “They come by it honestly. You got lucky today. If Y/N hadn’t come around, you probably would have gotten knocked over again.”

“Hi,” you say, sticking out your hand. “I’m Y/N.” Percy shakes your hand, smiling awkwardly.

“She’s Clarisse’s girlfriend and the only thing that stands between the camp and total destruction.”

“Oh,” Percy says, not quite able to hide his surprise and slight disgust. “She seems… nice.”

“Well, if you look like me, she’ll love you. But… I don’t think that’ll happen.”

Percy chuckles a bit.

“Why don’t they bother you?” he asks Luke.

“Ah, they know better,” he says, squeezing you closer to him.

“Yeah, Luke’s the best swordsman in camp,” one of Luke’s siblings says. You can see something in Percy’s eyes, a light that reminds you a bit of Clar.

“So, they stay away from you because, glory? So, if I get glory, Clarisse wouldn’t mess with me either?”

“Exactly,” Luke affirms. You look at him out of the corner of your eye. What the Hades is he teaching him?

“And people think I’m a big deal?”

“Well, sorta-”

“And my dad’s got no choice but to claim me.”

Oh. Your heart squeezes for him.

“You… you can’t force the Gods to do anything,” Luke says, trying not to hurt Percy too much.

“Well, yeah, but… it would make it a lot harder for him to pretend I don’t exist, right?”

“Maybe,” Luke concedes.

“Great. Where do we start?”

You laugh. “Ooh, I like the way you think.” You slip away from Luke, smiling at Percy. “Come find me if you wanna try your hand at some Aphrodite skills.”

—-

You find Clarisse sitting outside her cabin at a picnic table, polishing her spear, her favorite activity.

You sit down next to her.

“Hey, baby,” she murmurs, a bit too entranced with the gift from her father.

“I only have a few minutes before I go to archery, but… I think you’ll enjoy this.” She looks over at you for a second, then right back to the spear. “Don’t make me charmspeak you, La Rue.”

“Okay. Okay, sorry, what?” she sets the spear down in her lap, staring up at you with a smile as if she hadn’t been ignoring you a second ago.

“Percy Jackson wants to find glory so you’ll stop bothering him,” she snorts, “and so his father will have to claim him.”

She hums.

“Well, I like him. I think he’s cute.”

She shoots you a bored look.

“Don’t say horrible things like that.”

You play with a curl hanging over her shoulder. “We both know I’ll say whatever I want.”

“Oh, I know.”

—-

“What happened to you?”

You turn to look at Clarisse’s smirking face.

“What?”

She rolls her eyes. “C’mere,”

You lean forward, across the space between the Aphrodite cabin and the Ares cabin tables. Clarisse puts her hand to your face, thumb tracing along your cheekbone. She pulls back, and you stare at her dirt covered thumb.

“You’re covered in dirt, gorgeous.”

You hurriedly raise your hand up to your face, groaning when your palm does in fact come away covered in dirt.

“Percy is definitely not a child of Apollo,” you mutter.

“What d’you mean?” Clarisse asks, handing you a few extra napkins as you begin to wipe off your face, a spot on your shirt you had noticed.

“Luke’s taking him around, trying to figure out what he’s got a talent for. It was funny, actually, he shot the arrow over all of us on the side and we all went crashing into the ground.”

She doesn’t seem to find it as funny as you do.

“It was an accident, Clar!” you say, all sing-song again.

“Oh, I’m sure it was. Exactly why I don’t believe he killed that Minotaur.”

“Adrenaline makes even mortals do crazy things.”

“You don’t kill a Minotaur with adrenaline,” she hisses.

—-

Capture the Flag is held the next day. Clarisse and two of her siblings have been particularly pissed off all morning, and no matter how much you bug her, she only says “you’ll see” in this horribly nerve-wracking tone.

You have the same job you do every game. Sit in front of the flag, and charmspeak anyone who tries to come near it.

You’re decent with a bow, okay with a sword, but this is one area where you really shine, where you can really help.

After the first game, the blue team has learned to wear ear plugs when they come near you. But you’re like a siren, you come around and take out their ear plugs anyways. They’re scared to touch you, because one of the Ares kids will run right off to Clarisse, and she tells you all the time that she’d rather lose dessert privileges for a month then see you with one scratch.

Chiron stands imposingly on the large rock at the start of the small river that divides the two halves of the woods.

“The first team to retrieve the opposing flag and return it across the river shall be the victor.”

You know these rules by heart.

Ever since your first Game, the day you met Clarisse, you’ve loved them. You’re not the most violent person, nothing near Clar and her insatiable thirst for competition, but there’s just something about the game.

She walks forward through the sea of red-marked armor, digging her spear into the ground and glaring at what you can only assume to be Percy Jackson.

“Any magical items you may possess are permitted as well. Every camper who is not injured has to play. Prisoners may be disarmed, but may not be bound or gagged.”

You suppress a laugh at that rule. That one was only implemented a few games ago, right after the one where you had been taken prisoner and tied with vines to a tree. When Clar had heard, she actually almost murdered a few kids and maimed some more.

Although it made keeping prisoners a little awkward, Chiron had proclaimed it was in everyone’s best interests.

“Let the games begin!” he shouts, the conch blows, and the entire team screams in a terrifying war cry.

The blue team bangs their shields and weapons together, and now you have 20 minutes before game on.

Clarisse is the captain of your team, of course. She marches around barking orders to everyone, as if their positions aren’t already drilled into their heads.

“Hey Clar,” you say. You’re surrounded by a few Ares kids, a few other good fighters, ready to protect the flag and by extension you- with their lives.

Capture the flag games are taken seriously.

She looks at the red flag in your hands, smiling in that smug way she always does. She doesn’t smile this way when it’s just you and her, but you can still see the softness in her eyes even now. With Clarisse, her emotions are all about the eyes.

“You all know what you’re doing?” she asks. All the kids behind you nod. “Good,” she smirks, starting to walk away.

“Are you hunting in your usual woods today?” you ask, heading in the same direction as her.

She smiles, a full toothy grin.

“Oh, baby, I have something even better planned.”

Clarisse is not one to change the strategy.

You can’t get it out of your head what she’s been saying about Percy.

“If you kill someone, I’m killing you.”

She just smiles.

—-

One of the kids holds the flag from up on a rock, acting like a lookout. You lean against that rock, your armor digging into your thighs at the awkward angle, waiting for someone to come. Everyone else surrounds you in the flag, in battle stances.

The conch blew about 20 minutes ago, and you should be seeing someone soon.

“I think Luke’s coming,” Corey, the Apollo kid lookout says.

“Of course he is,” you mutter. He’s always in charge of getting the flag, because he’s not afraid to touch you. Clarisse knows he’s just your friend, or else he probably would have been dead by now. They emerge from the woods, not bothering to try for stealth, all in defensive positions.

Everyone lets you take the lead. You understand why Clarisse loves power. It’s addicting, it’s like lightening in your veins.

“Hi, Luke,” you smile.

He can’t hear you, but he returns the smile.

“You’re all going to turn around and walk 300 feet in the other direction.”

Luke sighs as one of the kids actually turns and walks away, heeding your command. Everyone else has their earplugs in tight, but it always gets one or two of them.

You roll your eyes. “You always make this so difficult, Luke.”

You walk towards him, maybe you can surprise him and rip the ear plugs out of your ear, but he suddenly springs his leg out so you trip, slamming into the ground and getting a face full of dirt.

“Bitch,” you mumble, ready to get up. Suddenly, a Hermes girl throws herself on top of you, slapping a hand over your mouth.

As soon as you hit the ground, the fight erupts around you.

“You can’t do this, Luke, it’s against the rules!” you screech, but it’s muffled through the girls thick leather gloves.

Matty, one of Clar’s siblings sighs heavily. “Fuckin’ hate this dude,” he mumbles. “Marjorie, go get Clarisse.”

The girl runs off, and Matty adjusts his helmet.

“Don’t know why you do this to yourself, man.”

Luke kneels down in front of you while you scream obscenities next to his name. He makes a big show of taking out his earplugs before ruffling your hair.

“Thanks, Y/N.”

He whips around and his sword immediately clashes with Matty’s, and they’re locked in a flurry of metal clashing and glinting in the sunlight. Matty is really good, probably bested only by Clarisse, but Luke is still the best swordsman in camp.

He puts up a valiant fight, but Luke disarms him.

Your back is really, really starting to hurt like this.

It’s whirlwind, but there were more blue team then red team, and sometimes sheer number beats out even the best of the Ares cabin.

They grab the flag and run for the beach.

The girl waits for another moment until one of the Ares kids points his sword at her.

“You’re really gonna want to let her go,” Matty says. She stands up and books it, following her team.

“Eat dirt!” you scream as she runs away, but she still has her earplugs in.

Matty helps you up.

“Clarisse’s gonna kill us all.”

“I hate Luke Castellan. I hate him, I hate him, I wish him nothing but pain and suffering.”

Matty claps your shoulder.

“Hey, at least we all get to watch Clarisse beat up the Hermes cabin at sword practice tomorrow.”

And you do like seeing Clar fight, the way she’s so focused and truly in her element, sweat making her skin glisten in the sunlight…

“That will be fun,” you concede. Matty laughs, and you all make your way down to the beach.

—-

The scream scares you.

All the kids around you jump up with their swords, thinking a monster had somehow made its way near camp, but you recognize that voice.

“Clarisse,” you mumble, feeling frozen.

“What?” Matty asks, his eyes scanning the forest. “What’d you say?”

“Clarisse,” you repeat, breaking off into a run towards the sound of it, towards the beach.

“Clar- wait, Y/N!”

But you’re already long gone.

—-

You make it to the beach a minute after the conch sounded, the blue team having won, making it just in time to see the blue trident appear over Percy’s head. You can barely even register the fact that he’s a forbidden child, your eyes immediately finding Clar’s siblings, the ones she was supposed to be hunting with today.

“Hey, hey,” you breathe out, almost slamming into one of them. “W-where’s Clarisse? I heard her scream-”

You love her so much it’s like your heart will break if you even think about her being hurt. It always seems like Clar is the one who loves you more, only because of her proud and overprotective nature, but really you love her just as much.

You just never have the opportunity to threaten to kill someone like she does for you. She does that all on her own.

“Oh, uh, she went that way,” he points in the direction of a barely there path, heading into the woods and back to camp.

“Great, thanks!” you shout, already running after her.

You catch up with her after a minute, your gaze landing on her practically stomping through the woods. She’s angry. She’s angry, why?

“Clar!” you shout, and she whips around, standing still while you sprint over to her. “Clarisse, Clarisse, are you hurt? I-I heard you scream-”

You run your hands up and down her arms, and after a tense second of her staring at the ground, she puts her hands on your hips.

“I’m not hurt, I’m fine.”

She looks like she’s about to cry. But you know she won’t ever let herself cry, won’t ever let herself be perceived as weak.

You wrap your arms and let her put her face in your neck. She’s almost shaking with how angry she is, her fingers digging into your hips, and she stops herself and lets go before she can hurt you.

“Oh, baby,” you murmur. You’re not sure what happened. But she screamed like that, not like she was scared, but like she had just lost something. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“No.” She says into your neck, simple, and you respect it.

“Okay, well, let’s go back to your cabin. You’re not gonna believe the day I had. Will it make you happy to know I give you permission to beat up Luke?”

She looks up at you with skeptical eyes. You both ignore the tears staining her cheeks. “Really?” she asks, slightly hopeful, even through all her anger and sadness.

“Come on,” you smile, letting go of her and sliding you hand into hers. She meets your pace and wraps her arm around your waist. She doesn’t tell you she loves you, but you know.

—-

You flop down onto Clar’s bed. As the head counselor, she gets the best bunk. On the second floor loft, where there’s only enough space for single beds, meaning she doesn’t have to deal with bunk beds, all the way in the corner for a little privacy.

She stands in front of you, slipping off her shoes, and your reach forward to work at the knots of her breastplate.

She stares at you until the armor is lose around her, and she lifts it up over her head and leaves it haphazardly on the ground.

You lay flat, stretching your aching back, and Clar leans over you to help you take off your armor. You probably don’t even need armor, but Clarisse is overprotective by nature, by blood. It makes her feel better, and it really doesn’t bother you much. She lifts it over your head, letting the metal crash into the floor before laying down next to you.

“Sorry,” you mumble. “I’m supposed to be here for you but I’m so tired, and my back hurts so bad…”

She laughs. You smile, and it falls into comfortable silence.

“Can I really beat up Luke?” she says after a second.

You open your eyes and she’s laying on her side, propped up her arm and staring at you.

“Oh, you can.”

“Why?” she asks, still not quite believing you.

“Okay, so, Luke comes over, right. And you know, I try to charmspeak them but only one of them goes. I walk over to Luke and he fucking trips me! It was so embarrassing, baby, I literally ate shit.”

She smiles and puts her arm around your waist, tugging you closer to her.

“Then, some girl tackles me before I can get up, and puts her hand over my mouth so I can’t do anything. Which first of all, is completely against the rules, and second of all, it really hurt my back! Then, then, Luke has the audacity to say ‘Oh, thanks Y/N!’ and ruffles my hair, like? I swear to Gods, I just want him to… well, I don’t know. Suffer.”

“Don’t worry, gorgeous,” she mutters into the top of your head. “I’ll make sure he’s unrecognizable.”

You smile. “I don’t know what I would do without you, Clarisse. Who would defend my honor and fight my battles?”

She seems sort of placid, tired, like she’s just a still lake reacting to your body wading in deeper. It’s almost like she’s gonna fall asleep, and she’s always tired after capture the flag, so it’s not unusual.

“I’d be there,” she mutters, her eyes closed.

You’re both silent for a few more minutes, just the two of you together, her strong arm around you, the way it’s always meant to be.

“He’s a son of Poseidon. Did you see?”

“Yes,” you whisper. “I saw.”

“It’s not fair,” she says, like the child she never got to be. “I spend so much time, so much time trying to make him proud- it took months for him to claim me and he gets claimed on, what, his third day?”

Her head lands on your chest, your hands smoothing down her hair.

She touches the necklace she gave you months ago, bringing it out from under your shirt, the simple chain with the pretty charm that looks like a spear. More so an arrow, but it’s supposed to be her spear.

“He broke it,” she whispers.

“Broke what?”

She sits up a little higher, her hands reaching behind you and undoing the clasp on your necklace. You haven’t even taken it off since she put it on you, so of course she would be the one to take it off.

“He broke my spear.”

“Oh, Clarisse…” she stares at the necklace before folding it up tightly in her palm. She breathes out as she lays back down on your chest, her legs entwining with yours, your hand back in her curls.

“The Hephaestus kids can fix it, but it won’t be electrical anymore.”

You don’t say anything. Most people would say “it’s better than nothing” but you’re demigods with absent divine parents.

Clarisse didn’t tell you it was better than nothing to at least be claimed by Aphrodite when one of your siblings got a magic item from her. She didn’t try and tell you “maybe someday” when you cried in her arms.

Because more often then not, you’ll die before your godly parent even claims you. More kids die on their way to Camp Half-Blood then Chiron would like to admit.

And what would the Gods do? Nothing. They would do nothing about it, because they don’t care.

Clarisse doesn’t cry, but you know she wants to, and you let her know that she can cry if she wants to. She can, if she has to. You’d never turn her away.

If she hasn’t realized already, you’re in this for the long run.

—-

Clarisse fell asleep in your arms, then pulled you back when you tried to go back to your own cabin, and you figured Chiron wouldn’t mind this once.

She finally let you go after you screamed that she couldn’t kiss you before you brushed your teeth, mumbling about how you’re depriving her.

When you meet up with her again, she has her sword in hand and her armor strapped tight to her body.

It was just a great big coincidence that the Hermes, Aphrodite, Ares and Demeter cabins all had sword practice at the same times. Clarisse looked all too happy at being able to get out some anger from yesterday, because sparring is the only way Clar has to work out the intense feelings she inherited from her father.

“So, who should I metaphorically kill?”

“Ooh, big word,” you tease. She grabs your chin, making you look at her, but she’s smiling too much for it to be a threat.

“C’mon, baby, who?”

“Luke. And…” you point, “That’s the girl who tackled me. Oh, and that’s the boy who fought Corey and got the flag. I don’t know his name.”

“‘Cause he’s irrelevant,” she says. You hum. “You just wait right here, gorgeous, enjoy the show.” She winks before sauntering off in the girls direction, smiling in that misleading way, asking her if she wants to spar.

You beckon Jackie and Tyla over to you, who both seem unimpressed.

“Please don’t tell me you put Clarisse up to attacking the Hermes cabin,” Tyla sighs.

“I didn’t put her up to anything. She did it all on her own.”

“Oh, sure she did,” Jackie rolls her eyes.

“Don’t act like you all aren’t gonna enjoy it.”

Tyla meets your eyes, then Jackie’s.

“Sorry, Jacks, it’s, like, really entertaining!”

You all laugh as Clar leads the girl into the circle, laughing even harder when she disarms her after a minute. The boy who took the flag barely lasts 45 seconds.

When Luke walks up to her, she throws her sword down and tackles him. You give her a minute before you pull her off.

—-

clarisse, about to beat up percy

y/n: oh no no no no you don’t

clarisse: ok i won’t kill him rn 😍😍😍😍

—-

y/n: yeah like idk what i would do without you who would protect me and fight my battles

clarisse “i would be there” la rue: bitch our love transcends the laws of physics I WOULD BE THERE

—-

y/n giggling and kicking her feet watching clarisse beat up luke

—-

[evilminji]

What is "A God" and does the King of the Infinite Every Between count?

The great and endless "slipped between the cracks" of everything and all things? The souls of those Death has Taken but no God can Claim? THAT King?

Is he... A GOD.

I mean... probably not? He's a Halfa. Little hungry, right now. And very, VERY powerful. Can absolutely kick their asses. But "God"? He'd honestly have to throw that one to his advisors to go look up.

Like? If we're talking Title? Maybe. There are definitely people who worship him. He wi-( ......*cough* HI Desiree, nice to see ya.) Would LIKE, people to stop? But he can't TELL them too. That's THEIR choice. They get to make it. But if we're talking the SPECIES or BEING known to you as "God"?

Nope.

He's definitely not.

But then again? There are a LOT of Beings out there, that serve that particular Role, that aren't "Gods". Does that make their work somehow less precious? Their worshipers Faith, less genuine? It's just a position, dude. Divine management.

The great and glorified Housekeeping of Creation.

In HIS experience? A whole lot like babysitting.

Though... now that he thinks about it? WHY? Why DO you want to know? If he is or is NOT a God? Furthermore, how the HECK did you even GET this "number"? This is the Zone! Did you intentionally "@Anybody"?! Kid! Kiddo, what the actual FUCK! That was SO DANGEROUS holy shit!!! (Is this karma? This feels like karma. Is this what HE was like as a kid?? No WONDER Jazz always looked so stressed)

I could have been ANYBODY!

And? A mulish AF Percy Jackson and his crowd of friends? Just stare back up in that "I DO NOT Repent And Would DO IT AGAIN BUT WITH MORE FIRE" way only highly hormonal and deeply feral teenagers can? Just >:( ×15

Danny, the only adult here, is Concerned(tm).

They? Demand he Adopt's them. They need a BETTER Divine Parent who will ACTUALLY take care of them. And according to the qualifications they carved into the REALLY smashed together, Neo-Archaic, Call Summon Boulder they collectively carved? HE has all the "Good Parent" Qualifications they want.

So congratulations!

IT'S A CROWD.

No they aren't asking. You are Dad now, FATHER. Now come and protect your adopted offspring! And give out hugs and praise! Also we made a list! And-!

*proceeds to try and menace the literal Ruler of The Infinte Zone in a crackling squeaky voice*

And like? Well, shit. Guess he's a Dad now. They're clearly too powerful to fight. Such devastating cases being made. Oh woe, he is powerless before them etc etc.

MAN, you all are tiny!

Who wants fudge?

@hdgnj @hypewinter @ailithnight @the-witchhunter @babbling-babull @lolottes @nerdpoe @mutable-manifestation

[cynthiav06]

Question. do you think Percy should have stayed Single? Or ended up with somebody other than Annabeth? I Really think he should have stayed Single. Because I personally don't Like Percabeth, I don't Ship Percabeth and I don't Like Annabeth at all because of the way the Shippers act, or The way the characters themselves in Canon Act, like how Percy just does whatever Annabeth says, or how Percy is scared of Annabeth, Or how fans make it seem like Percy would become an Emo Edge Lord if something happened to Annabeth, Or How much she Belittles and Degrades him (I hate the nickname Seaweed brain), Especially since she acts like Percy cant do anything without her That moment when She and Reyna were talking about how ("Percy Couldn't find his way out of a Paper Bag without you")Made me SO mad it made me Dislike Annabeth even more and Dislike the Percabeth Ship as a Whole, I even hated when she Pretty much Restricted percy of using his powers You Know? "The sea doesn't like to be Restrained" well here it is.. being restrained...Exactly what it hates, and I hate how the Fandom makes Percabeth a Godly Ship saying they are the "It Couple" which they aren't and how They treat anyone who doesn't like Percabeth or Ships Percy with someone else other then Annabeth, but the one thing I HATE the most is how they make EVERYTHING percy Does Romantic for Annabeth like she's the only person who matters to him (Percy Only Remembering Annabeth (a Girl he's Known for only a couple years) Instead of The woman Who RAISED him by a goddess who isn't even the goddess of Love Made me SO MAD and Even when Annabeth made Percy remember when he was in the River Styx when it should have been his Mom made me mad) which is why I mostly believe that Percy Should have just stayed Single (I'm all for an Aromantic Percy) or At least Give him a Love interest who he can be Comfortable around and doesn't have to Constantly walk on Eggshells around her (I wished he Dated Rachel) or Hell Even make him Gay i've saw characters who have Better chemistry with Percy then Annabeth IMO but this all just my opinion.

You honestly don't know how long I could rant on this exact subject.

It's partly Annabeth's fault, and it's partly Rick's fault.

Anyone and everyone who has read the Pjo and HoO series should have noticed how illogical Percy's personality change was.

Percy Jackson, the hero of Olympus and the strongest demigod to ever live, sassy as can be, laid back but scary beyond measure if you cross him and an absolute menace to his enemies and loyal to death.

That's who he is, and Rick remembered that initially, and even till Son of Neptune then he just forgot how Percy someone he himself wrote to be this way is.

It's like Percy has no identity of his own, and he is only significant if he is with Annabeth. Like hello, he's the main character people, is the Fandom seriously going to degrade the main character, especially when the said mc is Percy Jackson???

Percy, despite his own issues, is and will always be foremost in helping people. He would be the first person to help keep the seven together. He would be the first to try and make a bond. He wouldn't have some stupid and illogical and totally ooc beef with Jason. Instead, he would help Jason be more sure of himself to stand up to Jupiter and for himself.

He would help Leo personally to bring back Calypso and they would both shit talk Olympians and how fickle their oaths are.

He would literally do anything to save Nico. Like hello, are you telling me that the boy who at 14 took it upon himself to bear the Great Prophecy, which he thought who end up killing him just to save Nico from that fate????? He would go absolutely madly feral to save Nico from the Giants.

If Piper and Reyna had their screws all properly fit they would see that Annabeth and literally everyone else would be all left to die if it wasn't for Percy. Percy gets himself out of everything by his own efforts and his own strategies. (Annabeth's rarely work). It's time the Fandom acknowledges that the best strategist in the verse is Percy, no questions asked and finally give him due credit for all HIS efforts.

Percy would never ever leave Sally unless it was for a quest, especially not when she was pregnant and absolutely not to go to college, something he hates especially when it concerns New Rome.

Here's a thing about Percabeth shippers they care about Annabeth's plans and her dreams, not Percy's. It is literally so out of character for Percy to want to live in New Rome a place that invests in a child army, a place that despises his father and wouldn't even build him a decent temple, a place so extremely cut off from the sea.

If Percy wanted to live in peace and grow old, he would do it in a place of his choosing close to his mother, Paul and Estelle, and close to the sea. But here's the thing about Percy.

I don't think people get this, but Percy can't just up and leave, nor would he want to. His damned fatal flaw is LOYALTY. He would never ever leave demigods or anyone helpless by leaving Camp Half Blood. Sure he would take less quests on but he would ALWAYS stick around and Rick did him so dirty by making all his thoughts revolve around Annabeth and insinuating he would let others suffer just fine to be with Annabeth.

Percy gave up immortality because he took Sally's teaching to heart as she did so too when she denied Poseidon's offer. He did it for himself for demigods it didn't have shit to do with Annabeth, but of course, he would look at her because she represents his life as a demigod.

Rick making Percy see Annabeth near the Styx and making him remember Annabeth instead of Sally is just him bullshitting. We all know Percy is a mama's boy, and he would do right by Sally always, so him giving a girl who he has known for barely long enough has no basis to it.

And Percabeth stans literally can't take a mention of a single alternate Percy pairing that alone is the biggest red flag. Because they know their ship is toxic and that Annabeth is the root of it.

For the PEOPLE IN THE BACK aka toxic stans:

Annabeth's fatal flaw is HUBRIS, and she is by nature controlling and condescending, and her character had the chance to GROW and CHANGE, and it would have been the most epic character growth sequel but she did not and she is CONTROLLING, DISMISSIVE , DEMEANING.

The newest Read Riordan entry literally has Annabeth saying that she needs to catch up to Percy cause he scores a better grade than her in school (even there Percy is smarter folks there you have it) and she literally says if she doesn't catch up Percy might start calling her SEAWEED BRAIN. So it is a demeaning nickname she gives Percy and continues calling him that even after knowing how Gabe similarly verbally abused Percy.

This is the fandom's IT couple? Wow. Percy literally is going against his own nature of being free and unrestrained like the sea because of Annabeth's controlling nature.

The worst of her behavior is when she blames Percy for his disappearance when she dismissed him when he was talking about his trauma induced by Gabe, her beyond toxic treatment of Rachel, especially when she unreasonably asked Percy to supress the use of the very power that got them out alive (she is scared naturally but she cannot force her own fear on Percy when he did nothing wrong).

So yeah, Percy Jackson with anyone but Annabeth. I am all for aromantic Percy, but personally, I find Perachel to be more appealing.

Trust me, I could rant about this for hours, especially how Rick butchered Percy's personality and made it full of Annabeth, especially how he threw Percy's insecurities and trauma and PTSD out of the gutter post tartarus.

[11queensupreme11]

i was wondering, what kind of jealous yan will cu chulainn be? like, when he starts falling, is he the type to get INSTANTLY jealous? or is he just like confident enough to just go "why would you hang out with HIM?🙄your taste in men/friends are abysmal..."?... or is he a tsun tsun type lol, or worse, the murder-y i have the urge punch a wall to smithereens every time you so much as look at another guy 😭 its just kinda funny to me cuz him and percy will prolly fight like an old married couple for things like these until percy whips out the man whore argument lmao 😭

he'd get jealous immediately and would definitely go "why would you hang out with HIM?🙄your taste in men/friends are abysmal..." but not because he's confident, but because he's a tsun tsun 😭😭😭😭

he would TRY to hide his jealousy, but it'd be soooo damn obvious LOL (but maybe not to percy cuz she's percy 💀)

and he would totally kill the dude too

one thing about cu chulainn is that he's a fucking MENACE. literally terrorized all of ireland 😭😭😭 just went around beating ppl up and killing everyone for whatever reason, so he would definitely kill someone out of jealousy 💀

(he may be a human, but mentality wise, he's honestly more god than human unlike percy who happily embraces to her humanity; again, this will be explored further hehe)

[oneknightstand-if]

@elegantunknownphantom replied to your post “If the MC were to faint in front of them from...”:

Why is Percy like this... 🤦🏻‍♀️ swear Percy is the embodiment of a damn Jester

@girlfromthecrypt reblogged your post "….Percival’s gonna jumpscare my mc with a spider fear, isn’t he???"

Honestly I can't wait to read about Percival. Dude sounds like a menace God I love this IF so much

[dungeonsandblorbos]

Campaign/Character Intro: The Orphic Uprising and Amazonomachy, feat. Nina Grayson

Status: Completed System: Cypher

About: These were two continuous arcs that together formed the first campaign with my university TTRPG group. It was a homebrew story set in the world of Percy Jackson and the Olympians, following a small group of simultaneously inept and hyper-competent demigods from Camp Half-Blood on their various (mis)adventures. Out of character, we called ourselves the Confusion Crew due to the sheer absurdity of some of the shenanigans we got up to. It was delightful.

Genres: Urban fantasy, YA Rating: Teen General content warnings: strong language, mature humor, immature humor, fantasy violence, teenage protagonists, second-hand embarrassment. Posts may not be tagged due to the generally mild nature of most of this campaign's content. Tags: #confusion crew, #nina grayson

story and character details under the cut

The Story

The first arc, The Orphic Uprising, was a short and sweet 10 session wonder. Our story began with a simple game of Capture the Flag gone horribly wrong as Camp Half-Blood was invaded by a skeletal army and a beloved NPC was killed. In the aftermath, we received a prophecy:

Children of Night and lords of the deep Conspire together in the midnight keep. When the twice born God is lured and bound beneath, The impossible is tasked to the daughter of the laurel wreath; The islander shall face the Cyprian boar, And beauty's blood shall open the door; The forgotten son of Spring shall be returned. Through faith and song life can then be earned.

Once the party is determined, we're given the keys to an old model of the Sun Chariot and immediately set course for California and the Underworld.

The second arc, The Amazonomachy, ran almost three times as long, a whole 27 sessions over the course of about 9 months. It's set roughly a year after the last arc, and began with a simple game of Capture the Flag against some visiting Amazons that went horribly wrong when the Amazons turned it into a full-blown raid on Camp Half-Blood. Apparently, the new queen of the Amazons somehow got it into her head that, just as the Olympians overthrew their parents, the Titans, it was high time that we, the demigods, overthrew the Olympians, and she didn't want Camp Half-Blood getting in the way of her mission. Our intrepid heroes from last summer, together with two new unlucky campers who happened to be in the wrong right place at the wrong right time, sneak out of camp and set about sabotaging the Amazons' efforts. And if they fail to do that, well, they can still stop the queen from becoming a new god and killing the old ones . . . right?

The Blorbos

I played Nina Grayson (depicted above), who was an incredibly skilled gymnast, modern dancer, and rock climber—and why wouldn't she be? She's a daughter of Nike, literal embodiment of victory. How could she be anything but the best? Failure was simply not an option for Nina, and while she preferred to avoid failure honestly, the fear of it was so strong that she had no qualms about fighting dirty or playing tricks if that's what it took to win. She was impulsive, headstrong, extremely determined, and nigh-unkillable, with a mean right hook and a poor sense of self. She wasn't very good at making friends, but lucky for her, the rest of the party didn't leave her much of a choice there, and by the epilogue, she had more emotional support than she knew what to do with! Nina was a menace both in and out of combat because she put all her points into strength, speed, durability, and dirty tricks, and nothing into charisma or smarts. Truly, a himbo lesbian queen (literally, in fact, because I think she ended up canonically becoming the queen of the Amazons in the epilogue). Iconic himbo acts of hers included solving a hidden object puzzle by punching a horse statue in the face, getting set on fire and putting it out by drenching herself in monster blood, solving a locked door problem by punching the lock in the face, splitting the party to play double agent without telling her friends she was only fake-betraying them, and solving a vengeful goddess issue by punching her in the face so hard it temporarily killed said goddess. At some point she also acquired the nickname Larry?

Her two best friends were Chuck Hickey, an appropriately chaotic son of Dionsysus who grew up on his grandparents' vineyard, played by my lovely husband @somethingclevermahogony, and Beatrice Starveling, an incredibly musically talented and equally exhausted daughter of Apollo who made Orpheus look like a chump, played by the incredibly artistically talented @hamletphase (who I think has commissions open rn!). These three were part of both arcs, and I love this trio dearly. For the second arc, we were also joined by the iconic bromance duo of surfer dude Cameron "Murph" Murphy, a son of Epimethius ("god" of hindsight) who got himself into a lot of chaos but somehow always had the right tool for the job, played by the fantastic @ostrich-runner, and wannabe fuckboi Bryce, a totally not bisexual disaster son of Eros. And last but not least, there was our team pet Hops, a funky little alcohol grain demon who looked like if a cabbage patch doll was an actual baby-shaped root vegetable. We fed him illegally acquired beer and Chuck carried him around in a baby björn, or occasionally threw him like a football at our enemies and used him like an Entangle spell. Only the best food and enrichment activities for our darling grain demon!

[gabbysdawsons]

Juno in Percy Jackson? 💚

oh this is actually one of my favourite aus for her!

she has such strong child of Hermes energy it’s not even funny. I can’t even explain why she just Does

as a child of Hermes she’s gifted with his unique ability to be a menace to all mankind, as well as his penchant for thievery. she likes to steal clothes from all of her siblings whenever possible.

she really enjoys all the lake activities offered at the camp, way more than the survival training, and would probably be pretty close with Grover because she appreciates that he’s actually very cool underneath all of his awkwardness.

she would also love Percy immediately, and by love I mean these relentlessly and make his life kind of a living hell- but in a loving way. because her love language is just…. bullying

also I can honestly see her siding with Luke cause she is nothing if not a girl with daddy issues and a very deep sense of loyalty to those closest to her, which Luke would be

[justonemorechapternicercy]

*a smug fox* I’d like I L O V E U for the ask meme please 😌 *very proud of myself*

You are a sap, and I fucking love you, my smug little fox 🦊❤️ You can be very proud of yourself, I did not expect it and you made me smile so much 🤭

I: Do you have a guilty pleasure in fic (reading or writing)?

I don't have "guilty" pleasures. I'm not feeling guilty about any of my reading and writing materials 😌 if somebody has a problem with what I consume, it's their problem, not mine.

L: How many times do you usually revise your fic/chapter before posting?

Uh, maybe once before I post them on Tumblr, but usually I just post them as soon as I write it. That's why they are full of typos and misspellings lol. But I try to correct them when I post them on AO3 - that's why it takes such a long time to post there. I just don't have motivation to reread and edit my writings and find the correct tags AND write a summary and a title 😩

O: How do you begin a story—with the plot, or the characters?

I do both. I mean, sometimes I have the perfect plot, and then I have to find the perfect couple for that plot (eg. some of the DILFS week's fics). Other times, I have the couple I want to write about, and then I have to figure out the plot itself (eg. Pocket Mortys).

V: If you could write the sequel (or prequel) to any fic out there not written by yourself, which would you choose?

Hm. Honestly, I don't really want to do that. Sure, sometimes I fantasize about what could happen, especially when it is an abandoned work (eg. A Change in the Weather - Kurtbastian fic), but I wouldn't want to write a sequel for other's works.

E: If you wrote a sequel to [insert fic], what would it be about?

Wanting him, loving him. My Hera/Percy story, I will definitely write a sequel for it. Some time. Maybe. Lol xD But it will be about Hera pegging Percy 😌 that's the plot xD

U: Share three of your favourite fic writers and why you like them so much.

ONLY THREE?! That's cruel!!! Okay, but we would be here for years, if I listed everybody, so okay, I can accept the limitations.

The first one is a smug, mischievous little foxy, a menace, really, but a menace who writes amazingly. Zir stories are always so emotional, so imaginative, and zir words?! They convey so much! They grab my attention and never let it go. I could quote many of their writings, some words and sentences just stay with me forever, I keep them in my mind, tattooed in my heart. Zir writing is so beautiful, ze always use the right words at the right moments, so vivid and expressive, so gorgeous! (just like my beloved is 🤭) *sighs dreamily* 💕💕💕

Okay, then we have the amazing demon goddess Fee, whose fics never fail to bring me joy. Her stories are so sweet and fluffy and even if they are angsty, there's a guaranteed happy end and I just love that so much! She is reliable and constant in her amazing stories, and the plots are so gooooood! She made me want to be better at writing, and she is so supportive and sweet too! 💗

The third one is krsive, and oh, boy... Their stories... Each and every one hit the right spots. The plot is always so exciting, the length is so satisfying, the stories are so engaging and perfectly paced. Even the things I'm not usually fond of, they can write them so beautifully that I just can't bring myself to skip. The characterisation is on-point, the drama and angst is so delicious and heartbreaking, and the ending is so sweet and heartwarming. 😩💙

-

Ask me about my fics!

[knuffled]

Just Practice - Chapter 14

here’s the latest chapter! hope you all enjoy it! if you could leave a comment, it would mean the world to me! not that many people commented last chapter sadly. 

ao3 link for people on mobile

Out of all of Annabeth’s friends, Piper undoubtedly had the largest house. It was a beautiful three story house with a modern minimalist aesthetic, but it somehow also managed to retain a homely atmosphere. As an aspiring architect, Annabeth thought that it was a feast for the eyes, but Piper had never liked it, mainly because her father was hardly ever home. That was ideal for someone like Annabeth, but Piper was a huge extrovert so she found it unbearable having such a huge house to herself. Piper did her best to circumvent that by having friends over whenever possible, a role that usually fell on Jason’s shoulders, but Annabeth had dropped by after school instead to work on a partner project that they had been assigned for their history class.

Piper greeted her at the front door, practically half-asleep. She was wearing pajamas that had smiling cartoon cupcakes printed on them, her choppy hair was thoroughly disheveled, and her eyes were dazed and unfocused. Annabeth was particularly amused by the impression left on her face from sleeping with her cheek pressed against the seams of two sofa cushions.

“You look positively glamorous, darling.”

Piper half-heartedly rolled her eyes and led her to the living room. “Shut up, I was doing hot girl shit.”

“I didn’t know napping qualified as ‘hot girl shit’,” Annabeth said, making air quotes.

“There’s a reason they call it beauty sleep, babe,” Piper said.

They stopped at the living room, and the sight there only made Annabeth’s smirk widen. It was a complete mess, strewn about with empty bags of cheetos, bottles of kombucha, and half-empty oreo trays. Annabeth crossed her arms over her chest and gave Piper a significant look, wondering what sort of excuse she would come up with, but Piper just flipped her off and dove belly first onto the sofa.

“Before you ask, I was too busy to clean,” Piper said, voice muffled by a sofa cushion.

“Busy doing hot girl shit?” Annabeth prompted innocently.

Piper turned her head to glower at her. “You’re such a bitch sometimes.”

Annabeth bit back a smile and lifted a half-empty bottle of kombucha from the coffee table. She gave it a ginger sniff and gagged at the fermented smell.

“I don’t know how you can drink this stuff.”

“It’s good for your digestive system,” Piper said, sighing.

“I hate to break it to you, but I don’t think it’ll be enough to offset the fact that your diet consists solely of flaming hot cheetos and oreos.”

“I’m seriously like ten seconds away from kicking you out of my house,” Piper warned.

Annabeth laughed and said, “Alright, alright, I assume that means you’re ready to start working on the project then?”

Piper groaned into the sofa and forced herself to sit upright. “You’re an absolute menace.”

Annabeth rummaged through her backpack for her laptop and the project rubric instead of looking at her. “I love you, too.”

Piper sighed melodramatically and cleared the coffee table of its aforementioned debris so that they had a place to work. They spent nearly two hours researching content for their project, and Annabeth was happy with the amount of work they were able to get done. For all their bickering, she and Piper had always made an excellent team, and this project was no exception. That being said, by the end of the two hour mark, Piper was beginning to burn on fumes.

“God, why on fucking earth did I ever think taking AP Euro my senior year was a good idea,” Piper groaned, burying her face in her hands. “Spring break can’t come soon enough.”

“It’s still over a month away,” Annabeth laughed. “We could take a break if you’d like.”

Piper looked up at her abruptly with wide eyes. “Who are you and what have you done with Annabeth?”

Annabeth rolled her eyes and said, “We got a lot of work done, so it’s fine if we chill a bit.”

Piper pressed a kiss to Annabeth’s cheek before she could react and beamed at her. “Want something to eat? I’m getting hungry.”

Annabeth scowled and rubbed her cheek. “Uh, do you still have Oreos?”

“Of course, I do,” Piper grinned. “I’m not a heathen.”

“Milk?”

Piper pretended to wipe a tear from her eye. “Oh, Annabeth, I am so proud of you.”

“Oh my god, shut up,” Annabeth laughed, shoving her.

Piper danced to the kitchen and came back a short while later with a fresh box of oreos and two glasses of milk. Annabeth’s step-mother was a health nut, so they never had junk food at home. She also had to adhere to a strict-ish diet because she was an athlete, so this was the first time in literal years that Annabeth had had the chance to eat an oreo.

“These are a lot better than I remember,” Annabeth said.

“You’re goddamn right. Oreos are gods gift to humanity,” Piper said.

Annabeth smiled. “Now, I wouldn’t go that far.”

“So ungrateful,” Piper sniffed. “You can get sent to hell for that sort of thing you know?”

“For not being obsessed with oreos?” Annabeth laughed.

“For having bad taste,” Piper said, giving her a significant look.

“Guilty as charged,” Annabeth sighed. “I mean, I’m friends with you after all.”

Piper groaned and shoved her. “Bitch.”

“You started it,” Annabeth laughed. “I was just enjoying my oreos in peace.”

“I have been nothing but a gracious host, and yet you come into my house and insult me and my all time favorite snack for good measure,” Piper said, shaking her head. “This is why whites don’t deserve rights.”

Annabeth raised her glass of milk. “I’ll drink to that.”

“Sometimes, I honestly wonder how Percy puts up with you.”

“Easy, he’s a lot nicer than you, so I don’t feel the need to sass him,” Annabeth said, shrugging.

“Sounds fake, but okay.”

“You’re just in denial,” Annabeth teased.

Piper rolled her eyes and said, “How is he doing by the way? I haven’t talked to him lately, but I know State is around the corner.”

“He’s doing okay, I think,” Annabeth said. “I haven’t really asked him about it.”

“No Valentine’s Day plans, I’m assuming?” Piper asked, wiggling her eyebrows.

“Nah, I don’t want to break his concentration,” Annabeth said, shaking her head. “How about you and Jason? Got a hot date lined up or something?”

“We were just thinking of getting dinner some place nice,” Piper said, shrugging.

“So that means Taco Bell is a no, then?” Annabeth asked, grinning.

“Very funny,” Piper said, narrowing her eyes. “I think we’re going to some Japanese place downtown or something.”

“Hmm, sushi sounds nice.”

Piper shook her head and said, “It’s honestly impressive how you somehow always forget that I’m vegetarian, even after all these years.”

Annabeth’s face turned pink. “Oh, right, sorry.”

Piper knocked elbows with her instead of saying anything and reached for another cookie. Annabeth watched her dunk the cookie in her glass of milk a little too vigorously, causing some of it to spill onto her pajama bottoms, and couldn’t help imagining how Jason would have chided her for it if he had been here. It was still endlessly bemusing to her how two people so diametrically unlike one another had so much romantic chemistry together.

“You ever think about how wild it is that you and Jason have been together for four years now?” Annabeth asked.

Piper laughed and said, “Definitely have a lot more since graduation is coming up soon. It’s pretty insane to me too.”

“What’s your secret, oh wise one,” Annabeth asked teasingly.

Piper rolled her eyes and said, “We just communicate really well, ever since day one. Neither of us hide anything from each other. If we are bothered by something, we talk about it. Sometimes that means we get into fights, but it’s still better than bottling everything up.”

Annabeth’s heart squeezed a little in her chest. In contrast, she and Percy hardly ever spoke openly anymore. The weight of all the things they had both left unsaid had snowballed and taken on a line of its own. She didn’t think it had brewed into bitterness, but it felt like ice on the surface of a pond. Shallow and liable to break at any moment.

“We also just genuinely like each other too,” Piper said. “There’s no way we would have lasted if we hated each other’s guts or got bored of each other. Kind of the opposite honestly. The more I got to know him, the harder I fell for him.”

“How could you tell?” Annabeth asked. “Was there a specific moment you realized or something?”

Piper hummed under her breath and stared up at the ceiling. “Hard to say. It wasn’t anything big or dramatic, just little things piling on top of each other, until one day, I just knew. Kind of like getting taller or falling asleep. You don’t notice it when it happens only when you look back.”

When Annabeth was silent, Piper continued and said, “I will say that the first time I can remember consciously thinking it was after a meet sophomore year. Don’t remember how it went, but I can still picture how he looked after the race. He was all gross and sweaty and caked with mud, but his cheeks were pink from all the running and it just made him glow. And at that moment, I just remember thinking ‘Wow, I’m actually in love with this guy.’”

There was something about the way Piper spoke that even Annabeth could hear how much she loved him just by her tone, that it made a lump form in Annabeth’s throat.

“I’m so happy for you two,” Annabeth said softly. “You are both two of the most amazing people I have ever met, so I’m glad you are together.”

Piper laughed and said, “It’s weird to hear you pay me a compliment, but thanks.”

“After that shameless display of ungratefulness, I would suggest you don’t get used to it,” Annabeth said, crossing her arms over her chest.

Piper rolled her eyes and sank back into the sofa. “Is there something going on with you?”

Annabeth furrowed her brow. “What do you mean?”

“You tend to ask lots of questions when you’re upset about something,” Piper said, shrugging.

Annabeth blinked. She had no idea that she did that.

“Nothing in particular,” Annabeth said carefully. “Just wanted to hear from someone that’s been in a relationship for four years. I’m still new to it, and I don’t want to fuck everything up.”

“Learn anything useful then?” Piper asked, raising an eyebrow.

Annabeth was quiet for a while and tried to choose her words carefully. “The part about communicating was helpful.”

Piper gave her a knowing smile. “Really? Well, I’m glad to hear that.”

“I feel like it was easier when we were only friends,” Annabeth said.

“Hmm, Percy was just doing a lot of work behind the scenes for you to make you feel that way. Now that you’re in a relationship, it’s harder for him to do that, so it’s only exposing issues that were already there,” Piper said.

Annabeth frowned. “What do you mean?”

Piper shrugged and said, “Well, part of it is that Percy is stupidly empathetic, so he would anticipate your emotional needs and provide for them with you having to do much. The bigger problem is that you don’t really understand the way he thinks, so you are incapable of doing the same for him.”

A spark of anger lit in Annabeth’s chest. “Well, why don’t you spell it out for me since I’m apparently so ignorant?”

“Annabeth, chill. I’m not saying you’re a bad friend or that I know more about him than you do,” Piper said, holding her hands up in surrender.

“Then what are you saying?” Annabeth hissed.

Piper sighed again and said, “Look, I love you and everything, but you don’t fully understand that other people don’t think or see the world in the same way you do. I’ll give you an example. What do you usually do when you’re really upset about something?”

After a moment, Annabeth said, “I give myself some space until I am ready to talk about it.”

“Exactly,” Piper said, nodding. “Percy is not like that. When he’s upset, he wants someone to press him about it, like really press him. There are a lot of reasons for it, but one huge reason is that he doesn’t feel like his problems are worth anyone else’s attention, so you have to convince him otherwise.”

Annabeth was stunned. That had legitimately never occurred to her. She had always assumed that Percy would come to her if he needed to because that’s what she did whenever she was upset. She whenever she had given him space in the past, thinking it would help, it had looked like callous silence to him instead, a sign that she didn’t care enough to hear what was going on.

Her mind raced. How many times in the past had she fucked up monumentally because this had never occurred to her?

“Do you get what I mean now?” Piper prompted.

Annabeth nodded slowly and said, “I- I had no idea. I just sort of assumed he was like me.”

“That’s a perfectly normal thing to do,” Piper said. “Like I said earlier, I’m not telling you this because I think you’re a shitty human being or whatever. I’m telling you because the way that you and Percy communicate has some really deep, fundamental issues, and that it has been that way for years now.”

“Then why didn’t you say anything sooner?” Annabeth asked, trying not to let anger creep in her voice. “I could have done so much more to avoid hurting him.”

“Because you wouldn’t have listened to me,” Piper said, crossing her arms over her chest. “Your relationship with Percy is something sacred to you. You take pride in being close to him and knowing him really well. If I had said something contrary to that, you would have gone ballistic. You getting mad earlier was more than enough proof of that. I can only tell you now because you’re finally starting to notice issues for yourself.”

Annabeth grit her teeth and stared down at her lap. Piper was right. She was right, but it was so crippling to hear that Annabeth had been such a god-awful friend. Annabeth did take great pride in how well she thought she knew Percy, but ever since they had started fake-dating, she had started realizing she had deluded herself the entire time. It was incredibly jarring for her to realize that her vision of him compared to reality was so off, especially when she prided herself in the keenness of her judgment and intellect.

Piper squeezed her shoulder and said, “Look, I know this must have been a lot for you to hear, but you’re not alone. Almost everyone has trouble seeing people distinctly, as they are. People like Percy who do it naturally are the rare ones.”

“Then what should I do?” Annabeth asked tersely. “I feel so stuck.”

“Don’t assume so much. If you’re upset, tell him. If you want him to open up, ask him to. The only way to know what’s on his mind is to ask him. You don’t have to try so hard to read his mind for him,” Piper explained.

Annabeth nodded curtly and said, “I’m just so mad at myself.”

“I get it, but it’s not all on you. Percy also shoulders some responsibility, but it’s hard to blame him. Lord knows how much he has done for us,” Piper mused. “Besides, he has his own issues that he needs to deal with.”

“I-I’ll do what I can,” Annabeth said.

“If it’s you, I think you can do it,” Piper said, smiling softly.

As nice as it was to hear that, Annabeth had no self-confidence in her ability to be a good friend, not anymore. Still, Piper was right. Percy had done so much for her. If this could help him somehow, then she was determined to do her best.

After a few more minutes of silence, Piper said, “We should probably get back to the project.”

Annabeth smiled despite herself and feigned wiping a tear from her eye. “I never thought I’d live to hear the day you’d say that.”

:::

In keeping with tradition, Annabeth still somehow managed to find a way to be late to the State Swimming Championship. It was held at a neighboring high school not far from Westwood, but she had stayed up all night the day before painting a sign for Percy, which led to her sleeping through her alarm. She had brushed her teeth and taken as quick a shower as she possibly could before dashing out of her house, sign tucked beneath her arm.

By the time she made it inside, the first heat was already over. Annabeth scanned the bleachers and found all her friends sitting next to Sally. She took the steps three at a time and took a moment to catch her breath before she took a seat between Sally and Piper.

“Where’s Estelle?” Annabeth asked.

“Paul took her to go back some snacks at the concession stand. How have you been, dear?” Sally asked.

“I’m good. School is getting busy, but I’m getting by,” Annabeth said. “How’s Percy doing?”

“He seemed ready. Cautious, but focused,” Sally said.

“That’s good to hear,” Annabeth said.

Estelle and Paul returned with bags of snacks for everyone. They passed them around to all of Percy’s friends and squeezed past to sit next to Sally. Estelle was thrilled to see Annabeth and threw her arms around her neck.

“Annabeth!” Estelle squealed.

Annabeth laughed and hugged her back. “How have you been, Stella?”

“Good! I just lost a tooth last night. See?” Estelle said, giving Annabeth a toothy smile.

“Wow, did you get a visit from the tooth fairy?” Annabeth asked.

Estelle nodded vigorously. “I got five whole dollars!”

“What are you going to spend it on?”

“She used her money to buy snacks for everyone,” Paul interjected.

“Daddy!” Estelle huffed.

Paul held his palms up in surrender. “Oh, sorry, she told me not to tell anyone about that.”

“Thanks, Stella!” Annabeth said, smiling. “She’s a good kid.”

“She is,” Paul said proudly. “It’s the Jackson genes, I’m telling you.”

“Oh, hush,” Sally said, though she looked pleased anyways.

Paul grinned at her and turned to Annabeth. “It’s been a while since we have had time to catch up, Annabeth. I heard you got into Berkeley! That’s amazing!”

“Yeah, thank you,” Annabeth said, hiding a smile.

“It’s a wonderful school. I’m sure you’ll love it,” Paul said.

Annabeth was about to thank him, but they were interrupted by an announcement that the next heat was to begin for men’s free style. The State tournament was different compared to other tournaments held during the regular season. There would be a preliminary round of ten heats of six swimmers each, and then the top six swimmers would be selected based off their times to participate in a final round. The winner of the final would win the entire competition. It was therefore possible to have the best time in the prelims and still lose if someone placed higher than you in the last round. Annabeth had never been a fan of the way the tournament was run, but there was nothing anyone could do about it.

Percy was going to be in the penultimate heat, so there was still time before he participated. In fact, he wasn’t even out of the locker room yet. Annabeth knew that he was staying inside to maintain his focus until the start of his heat. She recognized one of his teammates that was in the next heat, so she paid attention to him even though it was hard to feel interested.

After the heat began, Annabeth was once again reminded of how much fiercer the competition was at State compared to the other meets. Percy hadn’t competed against many of the swimmers here because they lived on the other side of the state. It might have been a function of the fact that it was her first time seeing some of them, but the competition looked stronger this year than it had in previous ones. They were so skilled that Annabeth wasn’t sure Percy was a shoe-in for first like she had initially thought.

There was one swimmer in particular from the sixth heat, Castellan, that was particularly scary. The effortless, graceful way he swam reminded her a lot of Percy’s form, and he managed to win his heat by a wide margin. She had never seen him before in any of the other meets or from previous years either. He must have moved to the State sometime this season. Nevertheless, it sowed a seed of worry in her mind that continued to take deeper root even after his heat ended.

Eventually, Percy finally made his way out when his heat was announced. Annabeth was relieved to see the familiar cold intensity on his face that she was accustomed to. After the last meet, she had been afraid that his focus would still be shaky when State finally rolled around, but instead Percy looked more focussed now than she had ever seen him before. Everything about him gave off the impression that he was going to win.

When his heat finally began, Percy dove into the water clinically and quickly pulled ahead of the competition. Annabeth and the rest of their friends cheered loudly for him as he touched off the other side of the pool, almost a full body’s length ahead of the person in second. The rest of the race only solidified Percy’s lead as he pulled further and further ahead.

Once he touched the opposite wall, Percy burst out of the water and took a moment to catch his breath, but then he looked over to the opposite end of the pool and pressed his lips in a thin line. Annabeth was confused at first because his time was fantastic, and he had done so well in his heat, but then she realized his time had been slower than that swimmer from the sixth heat. Although it wasn’t an indication of how the finals would go, it was still damaging to realize that someone had done better than you in the prelims.

Annabeth worried her lip and turned to Piper when she felt her hand on her shoulder. “Why does he look so annoyed?” Piper whispered.

“That guy from the sixth heat, Castellan, had a better time than he did,” Annabeth muttered.

Piper blinked and looked back down at Percy. “Wait, really?”

Annabeth nodded. “Yeah. It’s not the end of the world or anything, but it’s gonna pile some extra pressure onto his shoulders.”

“He’ll be fine,” Jason ventured, from beside Piper. “If he keeps his cool, he can put up a good fight. Besides, I don’t think their times were off by a lot.”

“True,” Annabeth agreed. “It would have been a lot worse if it was a blowout.”

“There’s a break before the finals start right?” Hazel asked, speaking across from Jason.

Piper looked at the meet schedule and nodded. “Yeah, there’s a half hour to give the competitors from the later heats time to rest before the finals.”

“Should we go see him or something?” Hazel asked.

Jason shook his head and said, “No, there’s a chance that we just make him lose focus. Besides, there nothing we can really say to help him.”

“Well, that fucking sucks,” Rachel huffed.

Hazel nudged Rachel with her elbow and whispered, “Don’t swear! Estelle is here.”

Rachel winced and said to Sally, “Sorry, Mrs. Jackson.”

Sally gave her a mischievous smile and said, “You should be, dear.”

That got a laugh out of all of them, much to Estelle’s confusion. They talked amongst themselves during the break before Annabeth realized she needed to run to the bathroom. Annabeth wasn’t gone long, but on her way back, she ran into someone walking the other way.

“Ouch.”

Annabeth stumbled back and rubbed her shoulder. “Sorry, are you okay?”

“Oh, hey, look who it is,” Percy said, smiling down at her.

“Oh, hey,” Annabeth said, blinking. “I was just coming back from the bathroom.”

Percy laughed and said, “Yeah, I kind of figured.”

There was an awkward pause where Annabeth debated if she should continue talking to him or if that would break his focus. His body language was relaxed, but Annabeth could tell that there was some tension in his shoulders. The way he lingered there gave her the impression that he wanted to talk to her, so she figured it was alright to say something.

“How are you doing?”

Percy coughed and looked away surreptitiously. “Fine.”

Annabeth crossed her arms over her chest. “You don’t look fine to me.”

Percy blinked like he was surprised she had called him out. In the past, Annabeth would have ignored the signs under the assumption that he didn’t want to talk about it, but after her conversation with Piper, she didn’t want to keep making those mistakes anymore.

Eventually, Percy sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. “Did you get a chance to see that Castellan guy from the sixth heat?”

Annabeth nodded and said, “Yeah, he seemed pretty good.”

“His time was pretty insane,” Percy said slowly. “Better than my PR.”

“It wasn’t that far off though,” Annabeth said, leaning against the wall.

Percy rubbed his chin. “That’s true.”

“If I didn’t know any better, I would say you don’t think you can beat him,” Annabeth said softly.

Percy looked up at her abruptly with wide eyes. “Uh...”

“Guilty as charged, huh?”

There was a pause before Percy laughed humorlessly and ran his fingers through his hair. “I don’t know. Usually, I never think about that sort of thing at meets. I’m only focused on doing my best. But now, I can’t help wondering if my best would even be enough.”

“I wish I could be super peppy and say that it definitely is, but I’ve had those thoughts too many times to say that to you. It would feel fake and you’d know it,” Annabeth started.

“That’s not exactly making me feel better,” Percy joked half-heartedly.

“Shut up, I was getting to it,” Annabeth said, knocking elbows with him.

Percy made a show of rubbing his elbows, which made her roll her eyes before she continued.

“Remember how you told me after the invitational that I had to believe that I hadn’t hit my limit yet, that I could still do better? I’ve been thinking about that a lot lately, and I’m realizing that you were right. I’m killing any chance of improving if I believe it can’t be done. At the end of the day, I still want to keep competing, so I might as well believe in myself and keep trying.”

Percy was silent at this, so Annabeth continued. “My point is, you’ve gotta have faith in yourself. If that guy is better than you, make him prove it. Don’t do that work for him. You’re an insanely good swimmer. I know you can beat him. That’s not me saying that as a friend, but as another athlete. I know you have what it takes. Only question is: do you?”

“It’s not that I don’t think I’m good,” Percy said. “If it was just me, I wouldn’t be so worried, but so many people have put so much effort and faith in me that I can’t let them down. Like, I’ve always disappointed people, all my life, and there’s a voice in my head that tells me this time won’t be any different.”

“Fuck everyone else,” Annabeth said vehemently. “The people that care about you just want you to try your best.”

When Percy remained silent, Annabeth framed his face with her hands and forced him to meet her eyes. “Listen to me: all you have to do is go out there and swim. Nothing else matters. Okay?”

Percy was quiet for a while before he nodded slowly. “Okay.”

“You got this,” Annabeth said, squeezing his shoulders. “Give ‘em hell, Perce.”

“I will. Thanks, Annabeth,” Percy said, smiling. “I’ll see you after the finals are over?”

“I thought that went without saying,” Annabeth grinned. “There’s a chocolate milkshake from Martha’s with your name on it, after all.”

“Finally, something worth fighting for,” Percy sighed melodramatically.

Annabeth laughed and pushed him towards the locker room. “Alright, get going, champ. I’ll see you on the other side.”

Percy took a deep breath to steel himself and gave her one final nod before he made for the locker rooms. Annabeth waited for him to leave before she headed back to the bleachers. Piper gave her a questioning look as she sat down, as if to ask what took her so long, but Annabeth shrugged and remained silent.

The participants of the final heat left the locker room shortly after and stood in front of the pool. Percy’s lane was in the middle, right next to Castellan, from the sixth heat, but he looked composed and concentrated.

The swimmers stepped onto the diving boards and took their starting positions, bodies taut with anticipation. At the official’s whistle, they all dove into the water in unison. Percy and the other boy both quickly pulled ahead of the other four swimmers, but Percy lagged behind him ever so slightly. Annabeth leaned forward, forgetting to cheer, and worried her lower lip. She could tell Percy was trying to surge ahead of Castellan, but no matter what he did, the distance continued to remain unclosed for the first hundred meters.

Before they both touched off the wall for the final fifty meters, Percy seemed to lag further behind than he had all race. Annabeth’s heart sank, but somehow Percy surged forward on the last twenty meters and managed to pull alongside Castellan. At the end of the race, it was too close to tell who had won because they both appeared to finish at the same time.

Annabeth whipped towards the board on the far end of the pool and waited for the times to show, heart thundering in her chest. The subsequent seconds stretched like an eternity, but then numbers suddenly flickered on the board. It took Annabeth a second to process the results, but once she did, her heart soared in her chest.

Percy had won, but it had been unbelievably close.

Immediately, she looked back down for Percy and noticed the incredulous look on his face. It took his teammates tackling him for him to realize that he had won, a dumbfounded smile blossoming across his face. Annabeth clasped her hands in front of her mouth and tried to ignore the way her face hurt from smiling so hard. She could hear Piper and the rest of her friends going crazy beside her, but the noise felt distant like sound traveling through water.

They all made their way down to him, and Estelle and Paul were the first to speak to him before Sally pulled him into a fierce hug with misty eyes. After that, Piper jumped on his back and cheered while Jason congratulated him. Rachel and Hazel went next, followed by Frank and Leo, and through it all, Annabeth watched off to the side and tried not to tear up.

She felt so incredibly proud of him. All those years of grueling practice, nights spent staying late to get in extra laps at the pool, managing the pressure of his captaincy - all of it had paid off in the end, and she was so happy it had. He deserved all of it.

Finally, Percy locked eyes with her and slipped out of the arms of their other friends and wordlessly opened his arms. Annabeth didn’t even realize she was moving until she tackled him in a hug. He was still sopping wet from the race, so her shirt got wet but she couldn’t bring herself to care. Annabeth buried her face in the crook of his neck and squeezed Percy as tightly as she could.

It was hard to say how long they stayed like that, but eventually, she pulled away from his arms and looked up at him with a stupid grin on her face. “You did it! I’m so happy for you!”

Percy offered her an incredulous smile. “Somehow.”

“Shut up, you deserved to win. One hundred percent,” Annabeth said, poking his chest.

Percy’s ears turned red, and he tried to look away from her. “It was all thanks to a certain someone’s pep talk.”

“You’re giving me too much credit,” Annabeth said, but her heart felt ten times larger in her chest anyways.

“Seriously, I was really freaking out,” Percy said earnestly. “So thank you. Seriously.”

Annabeth bit back a smile. “You’re welcome. Seriously.”

“You never make things easy for me, do you,” Percy said, sighing melodramatically.

“Of course not,” Annabeth said. “I thought you would have figured that out after all these years.”

Percy shrugged. “What can I say? I’m a slow learner.”

“At least you’re not a slow swimmer,” Annabeth teased.

Percy rolled his eyes and said, “So what next? Martha’s?”

“You sure you want to celebrate with me and not your family?” Annabeth asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Oh don’t worry about that,” Percy laughed. “I know they’ll monopolize me later today. But first, I want that chocolate milkshake you promised me.”

Annabeth bit the inside of her cheek and tried not to get carried away by what he was saying. Still, she couldn’t help the feeling of exhilaration washing over her.

“Alright, Martha’s it is,” Annabeth said. “Go finish your shower and get dressed. I’ll be waiting for you.”

Percy nodded and left to tell his family their plans and to say goodbye to the rest of their friends, who were getting ready to leave. Piper gave her a knowing look on her way out, but Annabeth made a show of pointedly ignoring her.

A short while later, Percy met her at the entrance to the parking lot, his hair still wet from the shower. They drove to Martha’s in silence, only accompanied by the feeble radio in her dad’s car. The sun was just beginning to set, diffusing pink and blue across the spread of the horizon. At that proximity, Percy smelled distractingly of body wash, making Annabeth’s face prickle.

“I meant what I said earlier, you know?” Percy said, breaking the silence.

Annabeth glanced at him. “Hmm?”

“What you told me really helped,” Percy said.

“You’re being too nice,” Annabeth said.

“No, seriously, I was pretty sure I was gonna lose. Like on the last hundred meters, I kept thinking that it was only natural that I would let everyone down again, but then I heard your voice in my head, saying ‘All you have to do is go out there and swim’. I don’t know how or why, but that got me out of my own head and helped me win,” Percy explained.

Annabeth’s throat was dry. “I’m, uh, glad it helped.”

She caught his soft smile in the mirror. “Yeah, me too.”

“It’ll be your turn in April,” he said. “You’ll win State too, and then I’ll have to be the one buying milkshakes next time around.”

“Damn straight,” Annabeth said. “I can’t rest until I kick Reyna’s ass.”

“I can’t tell if you hate her or adore her,” Percy said, smirking.

“A little of both,” Annabeth admitted. “People that have never lost once in their lives piss me off, but Reyna’s a good person and fun to be around.”

“I did beat her at the batting cages,” Percy pointed out.

“Doesn’t count unless I’m the one doing it,” Annabeth said, shaking her head.

Percy’s grin grew wider before he turned away from her, making Annabeth scowl. “What’s so funny?”

“Nothing, I just thought that was a very ‘Annabeth’ thing to say,” Percy said, shrugging.

“Is that a good or a bad thing?”

“Hmm, I wonder,” Percy said, still grinning.

“Asshole,” Annabeth huffed.

There was a lull in the conversation while Annabeth began to turn something over in her mind. At first, it had seemed like a stupid idea, but the more that she thought about it, the more she wanted to go for it.

“H-Hey, I know you said you’d get me a milkshake if I won and all, but is it cool if I ask for something else instead?” Annabeth asked, fingers curling tighter around the steering wheel.

“Your wish is my command, your majesty.”

“Shut up, I’m being serious,” Annabeth laughed.

“Sure, I don’t see why not,” Percy said, shrugging. “What did you want instead?”

Annabeth swallowed and said, “I’ll let it be a surprise for now. Just promise not to chicken out when the time comes.”

“You’re not gonna ask me to like run around school naked or something right?” Percy asked, raising an eyebrow.

Annabeth barked a laugh. “Tempting, but no.”

Percy hummed to himself for a while before he sighed and said, “Well, I suppose I’ll just have to trust you not to make me do something embarrassing.”

“Don’t worry so much. I promise it’s not that bad. Just wanted to ask you something. Besides, there’s no guarantee that I’ll even win, after all,” Annabeth said.

Percy yawned and curled up in his seat and closed his eyes. “I don’t know, I’m pretty certain you’ll win.”

Annabeth glanced at him. “Yeah? What makes you say that?”

“Dunno, I just believe in you,” Percy said simply.

Annabeth bit the inside of her cheek and resisted the urge to tell him that he was making a mistake. Honestly, she didn’t think she had a snowball’s chance in hell of beating Reyna at State, but she would still try her best to repay Percy’s faith in her. As a fellow athlete, he wouldn’t say something like that just to be nice. If he thought she had a shot, then maybe he was seeing something in her that she couldn’t.

The sky continued to darken, and Annabeth found herself thinking that even if she couldn’t believe in herself, maybe she could believe in how much Percy believed in her instead.

[bikkinibottom]

as the queen of the Connabeth endgame spoilers, do you have an actual headcanons about them?

oh god is this what i’ll be remembered as?? good. anyway yes i do :)

annabeth is 9 when connor (10) and travis (12) arrive to chb for the first time

im not going into details about how they hit it off, you can refer to ash or annie’s hcs for that lol sorry

those three years (or summers?) before percy arrives are considered the Glory Days by connor and annabeth personally, by everyone else they’re considered the Dark Ages

they are such menaces when it comes to pranks like its unbelievable. nobody talks about the summer of ‘03. beckendorf still has war flashbacks from it

puppy crush? you know it! connor is infatuated by baby annabeth and her wit. that look she gets when she’s scheming or comes up with a brilliant idea makes connor’s heart beat a little too fast to be considered platonic

annabeth is a little starry eyed by connor, and gets all blushy when connor has that trouble-maker grin on his face (why do you think she’s so endeared by percy’s troublemaker smirk??)

by the end of percy’s first summer the crush starts fading, more so on annabeth’s end than connor’s because how can you not simp over annabeth chase

when percy and annabeth arrive at camp in beginning of SoM, annabeth sees the stolls and is like “Connor!” and they run up to each other and embrace. he picks her up and twirls her around a couple times and they’re both laughing it’s so cute

percy is literally there in the background doing the eyes emoji 👁👁

one time there’s some canoe building contest, and connor and percy were paired up together. they’re sitting at one of the picnic tables and they’re both so lost but they see annabeth walking her cabin back from activities and connor is like “Wise Girl, we need help!” and percy gets literal whiplash as he glares daggers at connor. 

its no coincidence that the cup of water on the table tips over and completely soaks connor (it’s never addressed but connor never calls annabeth Wise Girl ever again after this)

as they get a little older the two of them jokingly flirt with one another and he starts calling her Annababe

she blows him kisses from across the dining pavilion and he makes a show of catching them and then dramatically fainting. she always giggles at this

percy’s seen it a couple of times and he’s just trying his best not to short circuit and Hold it In. he gets all moody and annabeth is like what’s your problem bro

Oblivious Annabeth is the best annabeth

they have a handshake of course. they watched the parent trap once together and made it their mission to learn that handshake

connor likes to twirl annabeth around or give her piggy back rides down to the campfire. the first time percy witnessed this the plumbing bursted in the bathrooms

the summer of tlo they spend extra time together and annabeth leans a lot more on connor than usual because percy is absent (connor does not complain about this)

that summer they also unleash a wave of pranks on everyone because tensions are high and they’re just trying to relive the Glory Days one last time before the big battle

when percy and annabeth do get together, he’s honestly so happy for them and annabeth immediately spills the details to him after the underwater kiss

that’s all I got. long live connabeth <3

[mysterioushogwartsrequests]

Could I request a story where Bill gets jealous because MC (gender neutral) is spending more time time with Barnaby Lee? I saw some drawings where Bill got jealous of MC hanging out with Barnaby and Charlie tells him MC was also wearing Barnaby’s sweatshirt and that’s where I got the idea from!

No problem! I think I saw those drawings some time ago, I really tried to find it in the tags but I couldn’t :(

Anyways, here it is! I hope you guys like it!

Title: Weasley’s Woes

Generally known for his calm and collected demeanor, Gryffindor Prefect, Bill Weasley was considered, all-around, a cool guy. Considering this reputation, it was safe to say that most students were surprised when he stamped into the library wearing a menacing look. 

“What’s up with you?” Asked Charlie, clearly amused, “get into a box of Pepper imps before you came?” he sniggered, earning a harsh hush from Madame Pince as Bill slammed his book against the oak table. 

“Whatever, Charles,” grumbled Bill, aggressively flipping the pages of his Advanced Transfiguration book. Charlie was so surprised by his older brother’s behavior that he set his book down to stare questioningly at him.

Feeling Charlie’s gaze on him, Bill furrowed his eyebrows and grumbled to himself as he continued flipping the pages of his book. 

“William, if you’re not caref-” but before Charlie could warn his brother, his words were cut off by the unmistakable ripping noise of a book page and Bill’s frustrated groan. 

“Mr. Weasley,” snapped Madame Pince, “I will not warn you again”

Muttering a small apology, Bill frustratedly shut his book and leaned back in his chair, a noticeable scowl on his face. 

“So,” Charlie spoke up, “Are you going to tell me what’s bothering you or are you going to act like Percy after Fred and George take his toys?” Charlie did not flinch when Bill shot him another threatening look, instead, he waited quietly for his brother to speak. 

“Fine,” sighed Bill deeply, crossing his arms over his chest, “I’m just upset about something” 

Charlie let out an audible scoff, “Yeah, anyone could’ve gathered that. I thought a giant was stomping around when you walked in!”

“I thought you were supposed to be making me feel better,” muttered Bill, his frustration rising again, “because you’re not doing a very good job at it” 

“How am I supposed to help you when you’re not straightforward with me?” asked Charlie patiently, returning to his book as Bill calmed down. 

Bill contemplated his options, he could either tell his brother and get over his frustration quickly or just internalize it and spend the rest of his school year in anger. 

Both options seemed acceptable to him. 

“It’s (Y/N),” He stated plainly, deciding against internalizing his feelings, “I think (Y/N) might have feelings for Barnaby,” admitted Bill, a small tinge of pink appearing on his cheeks. 

Charlie quickly covered up his laugh with a cough, earning another disappointed look from Madame Pince in the process. He acknowledged her with a wave, subtly bowing his head in apology before turning to his brother, who was clearly unenthused. 

“Well,” Charlie started, “They have been spending a lot of time together, but I don’t think (Y/N) is interested in Barnaby,” he reassured, recalling the conversations he would share with (Y/N) in their care of magical creatures class. 

“But you should hear (Y/N)!” exclaimed Bill in a whisper, “Do you know how many times I’ve heard about Barnaby and his favorite creature? Even when we’re alone, it’s honestly a little frustrating.”

“It’s frustrating because you fancy (Y/N),” Charlie stated bluntly, enjoying the look of shock on Bill’s face, “Well, am I wrong?” he asked.

It was as if Bill was a deer Charlie had caught in his headlights, his mouth fell agape and he stared back at his brother, who, again, did not flinch. 

Was it truly that obvious? It was no doubt that (Y/N) and Bill spent a lot of time together, Bill was one of (Y/N)’s closest friends and usually accompanied them on their missions. He had even gifted (Y/N) one of his old Christmas jumpers for their birthday after they expressed their love for the comfortable material. 

(Y/N) walked around Hogwarts wearing Bill’s jumper like a second skin, almost always obtaining stares from the other students. The large golden ‘W’ immediately catching the eye of those who looked towards it, inciting speculation of the nature of their relationship. 

“Bill Weasley wouldn’t give his jumper to just anybody!” said a sixth-year Hufflepuff girl, a frown clearly evident on her face as (Y/N) passed with Bill, “This must mean they’re together, right?” 

The group of girls glanced over at the pair headed down the corridor, observing Bill closely to see if he would secretly make a move. 

“It must be,” agreed her friend, “Let’s go ask around to see.”

Rumors at Hogwarts traveled like fiendfyre through the four houses, by the end of the day almost everyone was aware of (Y/N)’s new article of clothing and made no effort to hide their stares. 

“Well, you’re right,” admitted Bill, determinedly keeping his gaze away from Charlie’s, “I just thought I would finally ask them out, but I won’t do it if they like Barnaby.” 

“I can’t believe my ears,” Charlie sighed in disappointment, “My brother scared to ask someone out?” he said, shaking his head disapprovingly before a smile appeared on his face, “We’ll just have to get your confidence up.” 

“And how do you plan on doing that?��� asked Bill while rolling his eyes at his brother’s statement. 

“I’ve got a couple ideas,” shrugged Charlie, “but if you want to see (Y/N) marching around in Barnaby’s sweater, I think I saw them wearing it in the Great Hall,” he added casually, smirking at Bill’s look of irritation.  

With that, the two Weasley brothers scooped up their school materials and determinedly strode out of the library with Charlie explaining his plan along the way. 

After receiving Charlie’s briefing, Bill made his way towards the Great Hall with a concerned look plaguing his features. 

“Are you sure this will work?” asked Bill, straightening his maroon and gold tie in his bedroom mirror as Charlie messed with the trinkets on his nightstand. 

“Totally,” reassured Charlie, happily rolling Bill’s crystal ball in his hands, “You’re jealous so all you have to do is make (Y/N) jealous!” he stated, setting the ball down returning to sit on Bill’s bed. 

“I hope you’re right,” muttered Bill reluctantly, “So, all I’ve got to do is flirt with a couple of girls and (Y/N) will come by?”

“Pretty much,” Charlie stated, “Think you can handle that?” 

“Of course I can,” snapped Bill confidently, striding out of his dormitory without another word. 

In all honesty, he wasn’t sure if he could handle it, but he didn’t have a lot of options to choose from so he decided to follow Charlie’s “master-plan”. Pushing open the doors of the Great Hall, Bill’s eyes landed immediately on (Y/N) who was sitting peacefully at their house table. 

Bill scanned his surroundings for a suitable person to execute his plan on, but struggled to find a student above the third-year. Feeling defeated, Bill turned to exit the Great Hall but was halted by another student grabbing his arm. 

Startled, he turned to face the sixth-year Hufflepuff girl, immediately noticing the mischievous grin on her face. 

“I’ve got a question,” she asked plainly, allowing her fingers to linger on Bill’s bicep before she released it, “Are you currently seeing anyone?” 

Bingo

A smirk spread across Bill’s face, his eyes darting back to (Y/N) who had noticed his presence, “No, I’m not,” he answered confidently, hoping his voice traveled far enough for (Y/N) to hear. 

“Brilliant!” the Hufflepuff girl exclaimed, “We all thought you were with (Y/N), we really couldn’t understand why you gave them your sweater”

The confident look on Bill’s face vanished as he listened to the girl speak, “What do you mean by that?” he asked carefully, his eyebrows furrowing at the fixed smile on her face. 

The Hufflepuff girl laughed snobbishly, “Well, it’s just that someone like you, should be with someone like–”

“What?” interrupted Bill, the anger clearly evident in his voice, “someone like you?” he sneered, quickly wiping the gratifying smile off the girl’s face. 

At this point, most of the students were tuned into the altercation occurring at the center of the hall. His original plan of making (Y/N) jealous vanishing as he glared down at the girl in front of him, “I don’t appreciate you talking about (Y/N) like that,” he said dangerously. 

Multiple heads turned to look at (Y/N), who now wore an embarrassed expression as a blush crept up to their cheeks. As a prefect, it wasn’t unusual to see Bill scolding other students in public, but this was an entirely different conversation. 

This time, Bill was glaring down at a student as if she had broken all the school rules. 

“No! That’s not what I meant!” The Hufflepuff girl exclaimed, raising her arms defensively, clearly aware that she had struck a nerve. 

“Either way,” shrugged Bill, the smirk returning to his face, “I’ll have to report you to Professor Sprout for bullying another student,” he stated, pointing at the Prefect’s badge on his chest, “It’s my job, you see?”

“Bill,” a familiar voice spoke up behind him, “It’s alright, she didn’t hurt my feelings,” said (Y/N) softly, greeting their friend with a smile as he turned to face them. 

“(Y/N),” Bill muttered breathlessly, a blush appearing on his face as he caught sight of their pearly-white smile, “Are you sure?” he asked, his heartbeat quickening when (Y/N) grabbed his hand reassuringly. 

With a single glance at their hands, the Hufflepuff girl stomped off with a shrill huff, joining her friends at her house table. 

“Definitely,” (Y/N) grinned, “She’s not worth it anyway, but thank you for standing up for me”

A soft smile appeared on Bill’s face, squeezing (Y/N)’s hand as he reached up to tuck a strand of their hair behind their ear, “I’d do anything for you,” he muttered, his blue eyes locking with their (e/c) ones.

Then it hit him. 

He didn’t need to pretend to around (Y/N). If he wanted (Y/N) to know how he felt, he needed to be completely honest with them, like they would like him to be. 

“Bill?” (Y/N) questioning, the blush on their cheeks deepening as Bill stepped closer to them, his eyes never leaving theirs. 

“I’d do anything for you because I fancy you, (Y/N),” Bill admitted confidently, his free hand cupping the side of their cheek, “I’ve been wanting to tell you for a while, but I thought you might fancy Barnaby…”

“Barnaby?” (Y/N) chuckled in surprise, “We’re just good friends, Bill… You’re the one I truly have a crush on.” 

Overwhelmed with happiness, Bill wrapped his arms tightly around (Y/N), effectively lifting them off their feet in excitement, “Yes!” he exclaimed, all his worries melting away as (Y/N) returned his hug.

“I’d like to formally take you on a date,” Bill stated blissfully, “Next Hogsmead weekend, I’ll pay for your lunch and everything!”

“I love to go on a date with you, Bill.” (Y/N) grinned, pressing a kiss against Bill’s warm cheek before gleefully exiting the Great Hall. 

Grinning to himself, Bill picked up a sandwich from the Gryffindor table and made his way out of the hall, determined to tell his brother he didn’t need his help after all. 

[connabeth]

An unexpected kiss that shocks the one receiving it, pleaseeeee 😌

percabeth kiss/fluff prompts:

unexpected kiss that shocks the one receiving it

“i’m not playing truth or dare.”

check out my accompanying edits!!

you were the song stuck in my head (every song that i’ve ever loved)

Warning: Pining™️

——————

The chime of the front door diverted his attention away from the TV screen. The anxious bouncing of his knees halted as he rose to his feet.

“Percy, sweetheart, can you get the door?” his mom called, voice faintly filtering into the room from the kitchen.

She could have, in fact, gotten the door―she was far closer to it than he was. But he suspected she wanted him and Annabeth to have a moment alone. He wasn’t sure if he was grateful or annoyed. His mother had become increasingly less subtle about her attempts to push the two teens together over the years. Percy figured she’d known about the crush he harbored on his best friend long before he had, if the twinkling eyes and knowing smirks he pretended to ignore on the daily were anything to go by.

And, fuck, if he didn’t want to make his mom (and himself) happy by getting to call Annabeth his girlfriend. But it wasn’t that simple. They had kissed once, in middle school, at some stupid beach party hosted by stupid Matt Sloan during a stupid game of Truth or Dare.

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ ҉ 　　 ҉ ☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

3 years ago

Silena, the ever-devious grade matchmaker had been watching him with hawk eyes the entirety of the game. He had avoided her piercing gaze in discomfort and hoped she didn’t know about his very obvious crush. Oh, what wishful thinking that had been.

“I am not playing truth or dare,” he insisted vehemently. But one look at Annabeth’s pleading eyes and pout as Silena dragged the blond girl to take a seat on the sand, and he was a goner. The Stolls were notorious menaces, and this game was a convenient excuse for them to unleash the chaos they’d been itching to release. Little did he know, it wasn’t the Stolls he had to worry about.

Silena’s cunning brown eyes squinted in scrutiny every time he blushed when his limbs brushed against Annabeth’s, who was sitting criss-cross next to him, pressed against his side. Silena raised her dark eyebrows knowingly every time he glanced over and stared at his best friend’s face (the stunning grey eyes, cute scrunched nose, and very pink lips) for a moment too long. He had an inkling of what Silena would do when it was her turn, if she were to choose him. A mixture of dread and excitement pooled in his stomach as he twitched nervously and dug his toes into the sand beneath his feet.

Annabeth, noticing his agitation, leaned over to whisper in his ear (which had not helped his butterflies), “Are you feeling ok? You forget your meds again?” No, he had most definitely not forgotten his meds. His mom made sure he took it every morning after breakfast.

He gave a half-grimace and lied, “Uh, yeah.” Her shrewd eyes told him she didn’t fully believe him. She could tell when he wasn’t telling the truth better than almost anyone, but she nodded her head in understanding anyway and gave the hand closest to her a squeeze. If she touched him one more time, he was almost sure he was going to combust from her proximity.

He subtly shifted in the opposite direction to clear the haze in his mind left from Annabeth, Annabeth, Annabeth. Or at least he had hoped it was subtle. But judging from the way Annabeth caught his movement in her periphery and frowned, he didn’t do such a great job. Silena intently watched this entire interaction, half-amused, half-exasperated.

The anxiety returned almost immediately when he remembered why he was so fidgety and terrified in the first place. She was going to make him do something to admit his feelings, he was sure of it. He had kind of talked about Annabeth to Beckendorf last week, and he doubted Beckendorf would keep anything Silena. Honestly, Silena had probably already known but this confirmation on Percy’s part would give her just the push to try and set them up. And while some tiny, very very small part of his brain was ecstatic at the prospect of getting this secret off his chest, at the possibility of Annabeth returning his feelings, the overwhelming majority of him wanted to dig a hole in the sand, crawl into it, and die.

Why would someone like Annabeth, unfairly pretty, intelligent, kickass, funny Annabeth, ever want to date someone like him? He was a loser. Even after eight years of friendship, he still found himself wondering why she chose him when she could have befriended literally anyone else. Maybe she had approached him on the playground that day out of pity and then she felt bad enough to stick around. Or found him just tolerable enough to spend more time with, mostly cause she liked his other friends. Or maybe she stayed because of how awesome his mom was. That must have been it. His mom loved Annabeth and Annabeth loved her right back. Plus, he knew his mom’s blue cookies were Annabeth’s favorite. Sally always made her extra to take home. His mom was the best maternal figure Annabeth had and he’d seen the younger girl being pulled into his mother’s arms and sniffling “Sally,” whenever she was really upset about something and needed more than the comfort he could offer as a best friend. His mom’s hugs were next-level.

He was pulled out of his reverie by a conniving, sly voice trying to get his attention. “Percy,” Silena said, with a kind, misleading smile he didn’t trust for one second.

He tried to gulp down the bile rising in his throat. Why did he agree to this game? Oh right, Annabeth. The beginning and end of all his dilemmas. She did her big pleady gray eyes thing and he knew he never stood a chance. She had learned to resist his puppy face but hers still hooked him in every time. It wasn’t fair.

“Truth or dare?” Silena asked, undoubtedly having conjured the perfect trap to ensnare the poorly concealed convictions of his dumb little middle school heart, no matter what option he chose.

“Dare,” he said, clearing his throat uncomfortably.

Silena’s innocent smile slipped into an evil little smirk and he knew he was going to hate the next words that came out of her mouth before she even said them. “I dare you,” she said, leaning forward, “to kiss the prettiest girl at this party.”

read the rest on AO3

——————

thanks to @perseust and @riptide-anaklusmoss for the prompts! check out my ao3 for more fics like this :)

[selfshippinglover]

Did you know that there was a REAL candle cove series ? It's the first season of Channel Zero if you're interested.

@ramblyships

oh hell yeah I do! I literally only watched the season of that show that was about Candle Cove! I honestly thought it was a pretty neat way to do it too! I especially love the way they went about making the tv show. Like, Percy looks absolutely PERFECT here! and the voice cast is just DAMN good

As for horace, i feel like they didn't do him justice with his outfit since it's mainly a sweater?? like, what does that have to do with being a pirate?? Though the fabric choice, the mustache, and monocle are just *mwuah* chef's kiss!They were honestly the most on point with Laughingstock. Like you hear them and look at them and just think immediately, “oh look, it’s Laughingstock!”

Then there’s my favorite character, Jawbone! i still like this look a lot since they made him fit in with the pirate theme more but it feels weird to see him without the skin hat tbh.(Why not just make a skin pirate hat??) At least they got the cape :) I also think they did a 10/10 job with the scene with the puppets going crazy! just 👌👌👌👌👌👌 God he just feels so menacing!!

Finally, the laughingstock is just god it’s like it was pulled straight from how i picture them to be! Like, when i first heard and saw them i was all, “Yup, that’s Laughingstock! Look at them gooo~” It’s just how I’ve always pictured them :)

The only think I felt like it was missing was Janice since she’s one of the characters brought up in the creepypasta specifically.

Overall, a great take!

[11queensupreme11]

Lol that wasn't me but I will let you know when I post on AO3 and credit you. I have a bad habit of jumping around a lot in my writing so it might be a while. Here is a bit from much later that might have to be cut. It features 8 year old Percy and children's fantastic ability to remember complex terms and apply them in the funniest ways possible:

"Percy stared at the man before her. He looked young, with a face she believed would make any of the old ladies from the apartments coo if they saw him. However, pinchable cheeks were probably not a judged criteria when taking the exams to become a doctor. The lady at the department of health office had said that "Medicaid does not cover elective work" and Percy was not even sure they had insurance now that they lived outside the US. Medical debt was a serious issue and would probably spawn paperwork more difficult for Mom to handle than any monster or weird relative. Smiling politely, she said “So are you a pediatrician? What program did you graduate from? Where was your residency and how many years have you been practicing for?”

The man's face was now frozen and Percy decided to press onward continuing “What insurance providers do you accept? I was on Medicaid previously but that won’t apply anymore with the move so you will have to get the new information from my mother. Along with my medical history which would be needed to provide appropriate care.” Pausing and tilting her head racking her brain for more terms she had heard at the real pediatrician’s office, she continued “You did talk to him right? 'Any medical care that is not immediately lifesaving given to minors requires consent from a parent or guardian recognized by the state.' Given my father is not on my birth certificate and has not signed and acknowledgment of paternity his word will not count. If you treat me without mother’s permission billing will be the least of your worries, the medical boards and courts don’t mess around when it comes to unnecessary medical work done on children without parental consent” she finished watching the man’s eyes widen a little more in shock.

However instead of the stuttered backtrack she was expecting, instead Mr. Beelzebub burst into a low and somewhat menacing laugh. With a smile, he said, “To answer your questions, I am not a pediatrician of any kind, I am a researcher specializing in the… hm… how to put it, most unusual of cases, and probably the only god in the three realms capable of treating someone like you.”

“So, you don’t actually know anything,” Percy said folding her arms and feeling rather put out. “And you have no previous experience working with children.” Honestly, she was really starting to wonder what went on in the heads of her father’s family. With a sigh she continued “Uncle Hades, this man is not a real doctor, he sounds like a scammer.”

Normally she tried not to be that blunt (after all mom always said stuff like “discretion was the better part of valor” and all the like) but this was really starting to test her patience. “It is common sense that any strange man offering you free medical treatment in his basement is definitely up to no go. Haven’t you heard of stranger danger? ‘Only trust adults whose credibility can be verified by another safe and trusted adult like your parents’.” She recited while turning to her uncle hoping to see a light of understanding appear in the man’s eyes. Honestly, why did she have to be the adult in this situation? Had these people never seen public television?

Instead, both men broke out into uproarious laughter and Percy considered what the consequences of pelting them both with ice would be. Perhaps if she froze their brains, it would fix whatever mental deficiency they were currently experiencing. Maybe some kind of brain worm?"

OH IT WASNT YOU???? oops 😭😭😭 ok thank you for clarifying then!

ALSO EIGHT YEAR OLD PERCY IS SO PRECIOUS???? and is loki a better mom than og!sally or did he just send percy to a good school cuz she sounds a lot smarter than her 12-16 year old canon self 😭😭😭😭

BUT BEEEEEEELLLLL IS HERE 😍😍😍

im ngl, after i realized beel was in the scenario, i blanked out and just focused on him LMAO. i'm sorry i just love him so much 😭😭😭

i can't wait till you post, ur writing is sooooo 😩👍

[nazghoulz]

The Definitive Ranking of Richard Armitage’s Acting Roles, Rated Exclusively by How Hot I Find Him In Screengrabs

Richard Armitage. As a diehard Thorin Oakenshield fan I certainly have a complicated relationship with him, mainly because I can never decide if I find him inherently hot or not. On the one hand, I’m a hardcore Thorinfucker. On the other hand my gay ass sees a headshot of Mr. Armitage and I’m just like, “Oh, no thank you.” So in order to set myself to rights, I have gone through Mr. Armitage’s IMDB and done a definitive ranking of all his 44 screen roles on there, based completely and arbitrarily on how hot I find him in screenshots. (Thank you to all the hardcore Armitage Fuckers who keep wordpress blogs with screengrabs of his various cameos and bit parts; my respect for you cannot be put into words.) I haven’t seen like 90% of these properties, and I didn’t bother to research them, so these are mainly just gut first impressions. I hope this helps anyone else out there who as confused by him as I am. Enjoy ?

44. Father Quart in The Seville Communion/The Man From Rome (2020)   — ??/10

I don’t think this movie is out yet? Idk I haven’t been able to find any stills of him, let alone much information about the movie itself. It’s listed on his IMDB though! And apparently he’s playing a priest...which could be extremely  👁️👁️ if done correctly.

43. Unnamed Naboo Fighter Pilot in Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace (1999) — 1/10

OH SWEETIE NO!!!!! This physically pains me to say this, because I unironically love this terrible movie with my whole heart, but unlike a yung Kiera Knightley’s role (pictured front and center) as Padmé’s loyal body double Sabé, this is probably a cameo that we would all like to forget about. The only thing Richard has to offer is this unfortunate turtle-faced realness. This helmet does him no favors.

42. Man in Pub in Boon (1992) — 2/10

As far as I know this is Richard’s first acting credit on IMDB, and he for sure is working the background extra energy. Go on girl give us nothing! He does have a decent backside though, and it’s better than looking at unfortunate turtle face, so I give this one a 2.

41. Paul Andrews in Between the Sheets (2003)  — 2/10

I can’t really articulate why, but I absolutely despise every screenshot I see of Richard Armitage in this role. He is completely unhot, and not even in a way I can laugh at. He takes no advantage of his assets, he has no charisma, no magnetism, no nothing. This is Richard Armitage at his most white bread rando, in a way that makes me actively dislike him. Pbbbbttth. Bad. Throw this whole thing away.

40. Craig Parker in Casualty (2001)  — 2/10

I don’t know, it’s like the perfect storm of the gelled 2001 hair, the terrible quarter? eighth? zip sweater, and overall, er, skeezy vibes that he gives off that makes him particularly unhot in this role. Perhaps not as reprehensible as Unhot Paul, but still. I think the sheer boringness of this has to count for something. Blech.

39. Dr. Tom Steele in Doctors (2001) — 2.5/10

He honestly looks like a villain in an early season of Alias, which... well. Quentin Tarantino was cast as a bit-part villain in Alias season one, so take that as you will. But at least he’s compelling here, which is why he gets half a point over Unhot Paul.

38. Steven in Frozen (2005) — 3/10

Get some rest, tall child! You can’t keep burning the candle at both ends! Also short haircuts do nothing for you, Richard. Styled like this, they just serve to make you look sort of like a sleaze.

37. Peter Macduff in ShakespeaRe-Told (2005) — 3/10

He honestly looks like he could be a guest star in Friends in this one, where he’s a guy named Jason who Ross meets in Central Perk where they find they have a lot in common. Ross introduces Jason to Monica and they really hit it off, but it all comes crashing down because while Jason is sensitive and writes poetry, he also thinks that the Earth is flat. The rest of the episode is trying to get rid of Jason while he becomes increasingly obsessed with Monica, and Ross cannot quite let go trying to prove to Jason that the world is round. Anyway. Macduff Flat Earth Jason isn’t quite as unhot as Unhot Paul, but he’s pretty much on the same level as Tired Steven.

36. Phillip Durrant in Marple (2007) — 3/10

Something about him in this image really makes me want to punch him in the face. It’s huge Peter Parker in Spider-Man 3 energy.

35. Young Claude Monet in The Impressionists (2006) — 3.5/10

I’M LOSING MY FUCKING MIND THE FIRST THING THAT COMES TO MIND IS !!! CARNIVAL BARKER !!!!! STEP RIGHT UP TO SEE THE WORST GOATEE IN HISTORY !!! I was actually going to give Yung Claude a 2 but the more I look at this terrible beard the more impressed I am with the boldness of this look, so I had to bump it up to 3.5. Idk. Just look at this. It’s incredible, especially knowing what kind of beard Armitage can grow himself !!!!!!!!

34. Heinz Kruger in Captain America: The First Avenger (2011) — 3.5/10

This is definitely the best looking he’s been so far in this list, but he’s a Nazi in this one, which makes him unsexy on principle. But do I feel a little something when he gets pinned to the ground by jacked Chris Evans with the above look on his face right before he swallows his cyanide pill? Can neither confirm nor deny. They are also truly playing into his inherently sinister bone structure, so I can respect that.

33. Percy Courtney in Miss Marie Lloyd (2007) — 4/10

Even including Yung Claude and Nazi Heinz, I think Nothing Percy is probably the weakest of Richard’s period looks, mostly because he looks like, well, nothing. He certainly doesn’t pull off that top hat like he does in North and South, and the secret to that might be the lack of sideburns. In this one he just sort of reminds me of the asshole fiance in Titanic.

32. Philip Turner in The Inspector Lynley Mysteries (2005) — 4/10

He’s really giving off bargain bin Hugh Jackman as Wolverine vibes here, if Logan’s energy was more “murderer in a Hallmark channel mystery” than “superhero.” Though, given what sort of show this is, that may be the point! Idk, this isn’t the worst. At least he has a decent haircut in this one. Still, I feel absolutely nothing when I look at him. He’s simply royalty-free stock music given human form.

31. Dr. Alec Track in The Golden Hour (2005) — 4.5/10

I could see how this conceivably be sexy in this role, but to be honest, he’s still nothing to me, sorry. He gets some extra points because he obviously worked out for this role and the hard nips through a white undershirt is a commendable look. I whole-heartedly respect Doctor Alec’s thottitude.

30. Daryl in Staged (1999) — 4.5/10

Speaking of thottitude!!!!! This is one cream-faced business boy that I can certainly get into! He looks like the love interest in a pre-Hayes code homoerotic thriller from the early 1930s. I’m sure that’s just because of the lighting and general staging of this production, but hm... demure. Love it.

29. Capt. Ian Macalwain in Ultimate Force (2003) — 4.5/10

Well, he looks like a character from M*A*S*H but with no charisma, or like an extra in The Great Escape who snitches on Steve McQueen to the Nazis. Also in half the pictures I find of him from this he’s wearing this terrible beret, which I know he can pull off because of a role that ranks much higher on this list. Whoever styles this man really needs to pay attention to what sort of headgear they put on him.  

28. Epiphanes in Cleopatra (1999) — 5/10

Speaking of headgear, you know what?? He doesn’t look awful here. A solid 5, perfectly acceptable. I think the helmet does a lot to accentuate the sharpness of his face in this extremely bit part, though the eyeliner definitely also helps as well.

27. John Mulligan in Moving On (2009) — 5/10

Mr. Armitage’s characters can really have potential when a production’s stylist allows him to wear scruff (IN A WAY THAT LOOKS NATURAL, LOOKING AT YOU YUNG CLAUDE). However, as it is with John Mulligan in Moving On here, he just sort of looks like a rando? They’re not playing into the inherent angularity of his face, which for me makes it sort of confusing regarding what sort of emotion I’m supposed to feel while looking at him. As it is, I’m just like, “Yup, that sure is a regular human man, right there.”

26. Smug Man at Party in This Year’s Love (1999) — 5/10

This is the face of a man who less smug and is more DRUNK OUT OF HIS MIND !!!! Idk. He’s cute here, I’ll admit. That’s all I have to say about it.

25. John Standring in Sparkhouse (2002) — 5.5/10

I enjoy the bold choice of giving him wavy hair in this one, but I’m not sure he quite pulls it off. It doesn’t look bad, per se, just... he looks completely nonthreatening. Which I guess could be someone’s thing, but not mine. He honestly looks like a knock-off Will Graham, sans dogs and trauma.

24. Gary in Into the Storm (2014) — 5.5/10

I think the thing that really gets me is that this character’s name is Gary. Who on God’s green Earth looks at Richard Armitage and goes, “Ah yes, you do look like a Gary” ??? I don’t think I know of a single non-American Gary, especially since the name Gary only got popularized after Gary Cooper renamed himself after his hometown of Gary, Indiana!!!! It wasn’t really a name for human men before that!!!! I want to live in the alternate universe where Frank Cooper was originally from Albuquerque and named himself Albuquerque Cooper and this character is named as such. Gary. Really.

23. King Oleron in Alice Through the Looking Glass (2016) — 5.5/10

I truly hate how much his facial expressions in these stills remind me of Thorin, considering how bad he looks otherwise. Like his face his fine, I guess, especially since this is the first instance of his full beard. I’m charmed despite myself! Take me to wonderland, O King.

22. Adam Price in The Stranger (2020) — 5.5/10

For as compelling as people call this series, Richard here isn’t very much so imo. But despite my utter lack of interest, he doesn’t look bad per se. He just sort of has that stubbly white man blandness that colors a lot of his more recent roles. Like, at least his bad mid-2000′s styling had character. This is just the visual representation of a vague handwave.

21. Harry Kennedy in The Vicar of Dibley (2006)  — 6/10

Gosh... floppy hair, cute sweaters... he also seems to be smiling a lot in this one, which is nice! The only thing I have to complain about is that he looks very much like if Bradley Cooper and Hugh Jackman circa Kate and Leopold had a baby, which may not necessarily be too much of a bad thing, but I can’t unsee it.

20. Sgt. John Porter in Strike Back (2010)  — 6/10

Ah, back to poorly suited haircuts. At least he’s a little bit gritter and grimier than we’ve seen so far, and I will say Richard Armitage does look good covered in dirt, as we will see later on. Also he’s got biceps in this one, which, hell yeah.

19.  Ricky Deeming in Inspector George Gently (2007)  — 6/10

I’M HAVING THE HARDEST TIME RIGHT NOW RANKING THIS ONE BC OF THIS INCREDIBLE LITTLE WHITE SCARF-RIDING LEATHERS COMBO!!! WHICH ABSOLUTE GENIUS DECIDED THIS!!!! EVERY SCREENSHOT OF HIM IN HIS EPISODE HAS THIS!!! Part of me just wants to give Stylish Ricky a big fat 10 because I’m gay and adore the sheer audacity of this look, but I still have to be fair and rank his overall aura accordingly. I think he’s a handsome extremely gay-coded motorcycle lad in this one, but he doesn’t exactly rev my engine, so to speak.

18. Lucas North in Spooks (2008) — 6/10

The tattoos really spice this one up. Luke could have been plagued by the problems inherent in Regular Mulligan’s Moving On styling, but this guy has an edge to him. He has a good haircut and 5′ o’clock shadow, which is something I’ve figured out is integral to Armitage Hotness. I feel like if I got to know this character I could possibly find him sexy.

17. Raymond de Merville in Pilgrimage (2017) — 6.5/10

Speaking of bad haircuts, this one is his undoing. This is almost the perfect balance between full beard and short haircut, which is the only way a short haircut works on this man, but they ruined it with this one! They gave him a bad bowl fade, which completely undoes any inherent sexiness that comes with being a knight. Not even the fact that he’s covered in dirt can turn me on at this point, ugh. Guy of Gisbourne he is not!!!

16. Tom Calahan in Brain on Fire (2016) — 6.5/10

Oh hell yes, WELCUM 2 DA DILF ZONE!!! I’m not super duper thrilled with the looks I’ve seen from this movie, but he seems scruffy and comfy in a way that is slightly refreshing for ol’ Richard. This is certainly the best of his normie looks so far. I’m just sad it took them 24 years to figure out how to style him properly for sympathetic roles in a contemporary setting.

15. James in My Zoe (2019) — 6.5/10

It’s another DILF look, slightly edgier than Comfy Tom but none of that sexy tired energy that we’ll see from Ocean’s 8. I don’t know !! Jimmy here doesn’t exactly thrill me, I think I prefer Tom’s flannels to this sharp bomber jacket/white t shirt combo seen here. Oh well! I am extremely  👀 👀 👀 👀 👀 that he can just casually palm that soccer ball like that.

14. John Thornton in North & South (2004)  — 7/10

Alright. I’m sorry. I just don’t find him that hot in this role. Like yeah, he’s got the scruff and the sideburns that work to his advantage, and the setting does make this character inherently sexy, but in some screenshots he screams too much of an aforementioned Kate and Leopold (the best Meg Ryan movie, imo) era Hugh Jackman to me. And if I was particularly into that, I would just watch Kate and Leopold again. I will admit, however, that this rating could be subject to change if I actually took the time to watch this show.

13. Chop in Urban and the Shed Crew (2015) — 7/10

...I’M??? INTO IT??? He’s dirty and scruffy but also has kind eyes.... I feel like this is knock off Will Graham who has blossomed into his own. His run down, grime-covered own. He’s back edging into Bradley Cooper territory, but somehow it works for him in this one. Like, I’m 89% sure it’s the DILF vibes I’ve been getting from the other screengrabs I’ve seen of this role, and this particular flavor of DILF is way sexier than Jimmy or Comfy Tom.

12. Francis Dolarhyde in Hannibal (2015) — 7/10

His Caesar cut doesn’t bother me quite so much in this, probably because he is pretty explicitly playing a villain in a series that doesn’t have any basis in reality. A villain who is ripped, and who can effortlessly throw real Will Graham around. Armitage uses his inherent sinisterness to great effect as the Red Dragon, which is good actually! I think a lot of how hot he is in any particular role really depends on whether the styling allows him to play to his strengths...idk! I’m not usually a huge fan of clean shaven Armitage, but it works for Frank here.

11. Daniel Miller in Berlin Station (2016) — 7/10

As much as I adore this particular look (beard + fade + green army jacket), I have to compromise and give Danny a 7/10 because it seems like the first season they styled him in usual stubbly white man blandness. I’d say screengrabs from s1 are a solid 6, while this might be an 8, so the average is a 7. That’s all I have to say about this!

10. Claude Becker in Ocean’s 8 (2018) — 7.5/10

!!!!! I love him in this role, I about had a conniption in the theater because I absolutely was not expecting him!! He looks perfectly ruffled and scruffy, edgier than either Comfy Tom or Jimmy, which I’m very into. That plus his two borzois (objectively the best looking dogs on the planet) really put Old Claude over the top for me. Thank you, thank you Hollywood stylists for finally figuring out what to do with him for roles as a Normal Man.

9. Richard Hall in The Lodge (2019) — 7.5/10

I don’t know anything about this movie, but it seems pretty spooky, which I’m into. I think Richard is well suited for this sort of horror/thriller role, where his angular features can play into the overall vibe rather than some hapless stylist trying to work around them. He looks like another cozy DILF here but with a bite to him, like someone who would do anything to protect his brood. I mean, he’s teaching this child to shoot! But idk, he also has the potential for Jack Nicholson in The Shining energy, which I also could be....hm... into. Idk. Is this on Netflix??

8. Lee in Cold Feet (2003) — 7.5/10

FUN!!! FLIRTY!!!! OTTER VIBES!!!!! I LOVE THIS, he seems so goofy here, and Armitage doesn’t usually pull off goofy that well! I’ve giggled at literally every screenshot I could find from the four episodes he was in this show, he seems like a real himbo. I’m a huge fan, even if it comes at the cost of dehydration abs.

7. William Chatford in Malice Aforethought (2005) — 7.5/10

Hoo hoo HOO DO NOT JUDGE ME!!!!!!! Maybe it’s just because I’ve been watching the new season of The Alienist and the new dark and gritty HBO reboot of Perry Mason back to back, but sue me, I love the bold choice they made with giving him a pencil moustache here. He looks like a hot Howard Hughes; if cream-faced business boy Daryl from Staged is the young ingenue in the pre-Hayes Code thriller I cast him in, Bill here is the sexy antagonist. I desperately want to hear a perfect Transatlantic accent coming out out of that  mouth. This look fucks and I’m sticking to that no matter what.

6. Trevor Belmont in Castlevania (2017) — 8/10

Ah, yes, speaking of king himbos... do me a favor and look me right in the eye and tell me that you wouldn’t fuck Trevor Belmont. You can’t, can you?????? At least 80% of Richard Armitage’s inherent hotness stems from his voice, and you can’t tell me there isn’t anything sexier than thinking about letting that guy loose in a recording studio and letting him say fuck. Look, Trevor may be drawn that way, but it’s the absolute stupidity coming out of his mouth in that sweet baritone that makes me want to be raw-dogged by 100% pure Romanian beef.

5. Dr. Scott White in Sleepwalker (2017) — 8/10 

Much like I had intimated when talking about Hot Danny in Berlin Station, this is Peak contemporary normie Richard Armitage styling. I honestly think The Hobbit either awakened something in him, or casting directors finally figured out he looks way good with a full beard. His crew cut even works with his whole look, which is a miracle!!!! I think he should be contractually obligated to have a full beard in all of his future roles, but that’s just me.

4. Guy of Gisbourne in Robin Hood (2006) — 8.5/10

I honestly can’t believe I’m ranking Guy so far up here, but honestly, THIS RULES!!!!!! THIS FUCKS!!!!!!!!! Which is incredible due to Guy’s lack of beard, but I’m weirdly okay with it? Like sure, he looks like he’d probably call me a slur in front of his shitty friends, but he also looks like he could tenderly pound me into the mattress in a way that would have me questioning my commitment to the “no emotions” clause of our clandestine no-strings-attached sex agreement. Anyway. Guy of Gisbourne if you see this im free thursday night. please message me back if you’re free thursday night when i am fr

3. Angus in Macbeth (1999) — 8.5/10

HHHNGHGNHNGHGN HE’S SO HOT.....!!! HE’S SO HOT!!!!! Leather jacket!!! Scruff!! Dirt!!!! Flattering beret!!!!! He’s so hot, and the worst part about this is that this was filmed in NINETEEN NINETY NINE!!!!!!!!!!!! Which means we could have always had this, had stylists and makeup artists PLAYED TO HIS STRENGTHS!!!!! He’s so hot I’m getting legitimately angry. Without scruff and dirt this man is nothing. N o t h i n g.

2. John Proctor in The Crucible (2014) — 9/10

Look, I know I have a type. But... this guy is just so hot, Daniel Day Lewis please step aside!!!! Contemporary theater historians describe John Proctor as a “strong beast of a man,” and... hhhHHOOOGH HELL YEAH!!! HELL !!!! YEAH !!!!! Like, his dick got almost his entire Puritan village, including himself, accused of witchcraft and like, looking at this guy, I kind of get it. I would probably go to war over the raw animal beauty of this horrible dirty, greasy man. Sue me, I confess. I saw Goody Osburn with the devil.

1. Thorin II Oakenshield in The Hobbit Trilogy  — 9.5/10

Come on. You knew it was going to be this guy. Look at my icon for christ’s sake. I am completely biased, I cannot look at his pictures objectively. Anyway. Thank you so much for reading, this was a very stupid list.