#wich was a very nice a polite way to say “You can feel sad and disappointed. It hurts

[yelow-heart]

I miss JaidenAnimations, tails. I miss her a lot..

[squerlly]

Fair Exchange Chapter 6

--------------"love shows us to appreciate what we have"----------------

Alastor x (F! wife doe reader)

The Buck & The Doe---------------------------------------

The Buck:

y/n has been avoiding me lately, she serves me my breakfast and hurries off before I get a chance to speak to her. I'm sure this has to do with what happened last week, I regret yelling at her like that but I must keep my shadow away from her, I don't need it causing trouble. Especially with what it did, I should have known when it was following her.

It keeps pacing through the walls of my office, eager to see her... because..., I want to see her. How soft her cheeks felt under its fingertips, her rosy lips and warm skin. But I made a deal I wouldn't touch her, and a promise to myself I wouldn't get attached, I can't get attached. Not when I have a reputation to uphold.

I hear Charlie starting something downstairs, so I stand from my desk and make my way to the railing on the top floor. While investigating I see poorly spelled decorations and sloppy streamers pasted around the hotel. The banner said "welcome dad" wich can only mean...

I faze to the floor and appear downstairs by the door, Charlie opens it and- "CHARLIEEE!!" Lucifer says while giving Charlie a life-squeezing hug "It is so good to see you!" "Hey, Dad its uhh- good to see you, too..." she takes a breath and announces his welcome to the hazbin hotel.

He acts so childishly with his color pallet of ugh... white, and his sad excuse of a staff. He looks around before spotting the bar I had created "What in the unholy hell is that!?" "Just some of the renovations we had done, adds a bit of color don't you think" he gives me a sneer "And who are you?" I faze behind him causing him to flinch "Alastor pleasure to be meeting you, sir, quite a pleasure" I shake his staff, cleaning off my hand from whatever filth he accumulated "It's nice to finally put a face to the name, you are much shorter in real life"

"Who- who is this are you the bellhop" How dare he "Aha, no I am the host of the hotel, you must have heard of me from my radio broadcast~" At the corner of my eye I see y/n beside me looking at lucifer curiously, she hasn't stepped this close to me in a while. "Nope I guess that's why Charlie calls it the Hazbin hotel aha"

I turn my attention back to the "fun-sized" man in front of me "Ahaha it was actually my idea" "Hahaha, well it's not very clever" "Aha fuck you!" Charlie grabs Lucifer and y/n grabs my arm separating us.

The Doe:

Lucifer the Lucifer Morningstar is here? And he fighting with Alastor... I pulled Alastor away trying to calm him down, he just scowled at Lucifer while I tried to pull his attention away from him and onto me. We haven't talked in a while and I assumed it would be best to give him space since he seemed quite unhappy this past week.

I frown, and he looks away with a huff, walking away from me. "Without Alastor, we haven't been able to pretty it up this much," Charlie says with a smile "Charlie has a unique vision, and I am happy to fulfill her bizarre requests~"

Lucifer growls and I just know things are about to get ugly "she is quite an impressive young lady, we are all veeery proud of her" Really Alastor, provoking the king of hell!! Really smart "Charlie why don't you introduce me to your OTHER friends," he says pushing past Alastor.

She introduces vaggie and the others, he seems really supportive of Charlie in an... odd way. Although I would have expected the king of hell to be a little more, scary...

Charlie walks up to me where I stand next to Alastor "And this is y/n one of Alastors friends!" Ouch... "hello it's nice to meet you" I say with a polite smile and wave, he shakes my hand and I hear Alastors static get louder. I feel somebody grab me by the waist and shove me aside before seeing the chandelier fall on the floor with dust everywhere.

I look and Alastor stands behind me, his ears pinned back slightly with a tight smile. Lucifer breaks into song, telling Charlie how he can help her with anything she needs free of charge, I step aside watching Alastor bud in and tell Charlie how he's better fit for the job. I haven't seen Alastor this riled with anyone other than Vox.

Their little argument over who is better was cut short when... "it's meee yes it's meeee, I know you were waiting for MEEE" I groan as Mimzy bursts through the doors singing.

"Mimzy!!" Alastor shouts from behind me, giving her a warm hug. "I thought I'd stop by, say hi for old times sake" "Of course sweetheart everyone is welcome here" Mimzy has been around Almost as long as I have, with her knowing Alastor when he was alive, dancing and drinking together like they're best friends "oh quite a talent this gal hoho, you should have seen her in her heyday~"

She also sees me as competition, its no secret that she likes Alastor more than just friends, its why we don't get along. I was never the jealous type, it didn't matter to me how close she got to Alastor, but its was the way she did it, Pushing me around or secretly judging me. I didn't like her because Alastor always let her get away with being well... a bitch.

I stand at the bar with husk and we both exchange annoyed glances, husk doesn't like Mimzy either, she's always teasing him about being Alastors pet. Charlie, Alastor, Vaggie, and Lucifer walk down the hallway for a tour, and Mimzy bounces over asking for a drink. She purposefully sits beside me "My my is that husker? Alastor still has you slinging hooch for him I see~ classic" She then turned to me with a frown "y/n, you're looking well"

My eye twitches and I grip the counter's edge "As do you..." She takes a long sip of her drink and then speaks "I thought Alastor would have got tired of ya by now" "And I thought an exterminator got you" She narrows her eyes and Angel walks over "So uh... you and Alastor are what friends?" He says sitting between both of us, exchanging glances with Husker.

"Well your words, not mine, but I think it fits" She stops and gives us a confused look "Why so surprised?" Angel gives me an ill-handle this look and I stand up to leave, and I make my way over to the hallway where Alastor is. I see Husk rush out passed me with a scared look and I stop, "Alastor?..." I call out, seeing scratch marks on the ceiling.

"Yes" I hear from behind me and I turn with a gasp "Oh my, heh you, uhm... ok?" I say holding my chest from being startled "Don't worry my dear just a small matter that's already been taken care of" he says straightening his bow tie while We stand in the hallway in awkward silence.

The Buck:

I look down at y/n as she toys with her fingers, and I lift my hand almost touching her. She looks up at me nervously and I stop, she so close in reach, I wanted to touch her, and hold her close but I don't. I drop my hand and speak "I apologize for my behavior last week, I'm above yelling at you for things you didn't do, I'm sorry..." I say and she looks up at me with those sweet soft understanding eyes.

"That's ok, I forgive you..." she whispers with a smile, my heart speeds up and heat burns my cheeks. What is the matter with me why am I acting like this, I have known this woman for more than 75 years, and not once have I had a reaction like this towards her. I'm the radio demon, I'm not soft and weak, I'm merciless and terrifying. I shouldn't be fretting over silly little feelings for my wife.

I grip my staff tighter, feelings for my wife... my wife "Are you alright Alastor, you haven't been acting like yourself" she reaches out and touches my hand, making my breath hitch. I have fallen for my wife, I have fallen for y/n heartfelt. This small, innocent woman who has cared for me, tended to me, helped me since the day I dragged her down here, And It took decades to realize.

"I'm alright dear, it has been a stressful week. Shall we head back to the lobby?" I say gripping her hand lightly, she visibly relaxes before nodding.

The Doe:

As Alastor and I make our way for the hallway, we feel the floor shake, and I give Alastor a puzzled look. He looks around and we rush to see what's going on, lucifer, Vaggie, and Charlie walk through a portal and everybody starts to panic. "Mimzy you lousy bitch, we know your in there!!" Everybody turns their attention to her and she retreats behind the bar.

"Mimzy what did you do!?" I say storming over to her "I may have crossed some lone sharks that I may or may not have borrowed 50 grand from, and stolen a car, that I then ran over the lone shark's girlfriend with but that bitch had it comin'!!!"

suddenly large rocks burst through the windows and the hotel begins to shake, Alastor pushes me behind the bar and walks over to stop vaggie from attacking "No my dear leave this to me, it's time I remind everyone why I am here" large black tendrils start coming out of his back and his eyes turn into radio dials "A reminder to all not to mess with the radio demon!" he crawls out of the hotel's broken doors, his body getting larger and larger "I'm going to devour each and every one of you!!"

I step out from behind the bar witnessing what can only be described as a massacre, I have only seen Alastors body expand once or twice, and surprisingly I'm not as afraid of it as I should be. Charlie and her dad argue about the hotel's cause while Angel and Husk eat popcorn.

once Alastor is done he shrinks back to his normal size and I run up beside him "Oh I miss getting to let off steam~" he says twirling his staff. Mimzy comes out from the corner and claps "Oh Alastor you did a fantastic job, bravo as always thanks for helping out little old me from a tough spot, your such a pal"

The buck:

I turn and see Mimzy walking over to me, pushing y/n out of her way nearly causing her to fall. she's not going to bring danger, have me clean up her mess, and throw my wife around. no... she's not getting away with it this time "Sorry about the mess but I'm sure y/n could take care of it for ya~" my eyes narrow as I speak

"Mimzy I think you should go" She looks at me and scoffs "Oh you are so funny, such a jokester. you don't really care about this hotel do ya? you heartless. son. of. a. bitch" I peel her hands off of me "I mean it, you deliberately brought trouble, you are welcome to stay if you really want to give redemption a try, but we both know that's not your style, so you need to leave" she looks at me in disbelief and I raise a brow "pff fine, who needs ya, good luck with your hotel and your little princess, see if I care"

She walks away and I turn my attention back to y/n whos dusting off her dress, I look at her seeing that she has not a single scratch "Are you alright my dear?" she nods with an expression I can't quite read "We should head back inside, and check on the others"

The Doe:

I rush in seeing the hotel in bad shape, with holes in the walls, glass everywhere, and parts of the ceiling missing but thankfully nobody's hurt "Oh Charlie I'm sorry about the hotel..." she breaks her hug with vaggie and walks over to me "hay its ok, I'm sure Alastor can help fix this up in no time" I look around but don't see lucifer "Uh... Charlie where is your father?" "he left back to his house... mansion... castle... whatever you wanna call it but he got me a meeting with heaven!!!"

she lets out an excited squeal, grabbing vaggie "Come on vaggie let's go pack, we're going to heaven!!!" "oh that's, great... yeah let's do that, yay heaven..."

I'm so so so so so so sorry that this came out later than I wanted but some family things came up while I was working on this. however, its finally out. I hope you guys liked this chapter and as always stay tuned and have a wonderful day/night!!

-squerlly

@pooplyface1423 @strippezzz @kimmis-stuff @sakuraluna2468

for more content and chapters please click this masterlist

[asagimeta]

The time has come again to remind everyone that good queer representation does not necessarily equal morally good queer characters

I’ve heard that apparently there’s a renaissance of anti-Hannibal going on lately? And that + the rise in popularity of media like Helluva Boss and Killing Eve, and the addition of more openly queer charectors in existing media- from comic book based media to long-running shows like American Horror Story- I feel like this needs to be said again- not necessarily by me but I posted about it way back when Hannibal originally aired it’s finale so I figure, what the hell

Good representation =/= morally good characters

You can have both, absolutely, but you can also have them separate, and you can have all combinations of the reverse too

Ofcourse, to be clear right in the beginning, what counts as “good” representation vs “bad” reputation is going to vary from person to person, everything from life experiences to media exposure to personal opinions will dictate where you land on the sliding scale of “good” or “bad”, someone who’s consumed quite alot of queer-focused media, for example, is going to have a very different opinion than someone who’s only seen one background gay in a TV show that one time, and someone who’s a really huge fan of horror is going to have a much different opinion than someone who’s only a fan of lighter-hearted fair

With that said, in my personal opinion, the measure of good vs bad representation relies less on the character and more on the presentation of said character- less, not entirely

To get what I mean, here’s the best example I can think of:

Castiel from Supernatural is, objectively, a good charactor- if nothing else he’s morally good by most standards, certainly by the time season 15 rolls around, but his canonically queer presentation is just.... horrible, horrible representation and I’ve only met literally one person myself who disagreed with that

Cas is presented as being a really tragic figure right from the start of his coming out- the one thing in the world that would make him truly happy for even a single moment is confessing that he’s in love with Dean, even if Dean rejects him, just saying it is enough, that is..... sad

If it had been framed differently, it actually could have been very good representation, in a “I don’t need you to validate me, I’m being honest about who I am for the first time in my life and that’s enough, I’m enough” way, but it wasn’t, it was framed as pining, as “Even if you don’t love me, my acknowledging openly that I love you is enough to make me happy”, and again that could have worked if framed differently but.... it’s followed up by the infamous “Gay angels go to Super Mega Turbo Hell” thing and like.... no....

Cas is a good character who is queer, he is not a good queer character, because his existence as a queer character lasted less than five minutes and was immediately followed by literally going to what’s worse than hell for expressing his queerness

There is no way I can express the amount of levels of Bad that is, to say nothing of how Dean treats the entire experience for like.... ever... from there on out

But now let’s look at Hannibal, who is objectively a pretty bad character morally- he’s stupendously written but yeah I mean look the dude eats people there’s just no getting around that

But I would argue that he’s excellent queer representation because of how he was presented

Hannibal’s sexuality is never defined, for starters, there’s never a “very special episode” moment where he has some long-winded coming out speech, in fact we don’t quite know how he identifies but because he’s written so artfully we don’t really need to, his exact sexuality doesn’t feel like it needs to be known because, frankly, not much personal information is known about Hannibal anyway, and sexuality feels like one of those arbitrary things that he wouldn’t really care about defining

And that’s the other thing- he’s far from sexless and yet he places no emphasis on sex, he isn’t hypersexualized but he also isn’t being kept as a Ken doll to preserve the message of gay purity (because I don’t know apparently there’s a Thing some people have about how gay people aren’t allowed to be sexual???) he’s just... a person

And that’s really what it comes down to that makes him great, he’s a person first and queer second... or third.... or fourth or fifth.... it never defines who he is, it’s just part of who he is, and regardless of your opinion on Hannibal specifically, I think that is something most queer people strive for in representation

It’s great to have stories that are focused on queerness but it’s equally exhausting to only be able to have characters who’s lives revolve around their sexualities, it’s nice to go into media and go “Oh that character that I already like for these reasons is also queer, that’s so cool!”

Hannibal also skillfully side-steps stereotypes, despite falling into the category of being “polite, thin, and neat”, despite loving fine wine and fine art and fine culture, he never feels like a flamboyant theater kid with a decoration-diploma, wich is how alot of queer characters in this category can feel

His story is about alot of things and his relationship with Will is at the center of much of it, but that relationship didn’t become explicitly queer until the show was almost over- not because it was sudden or poorly written but because it was a slow build up, wich is also refreshing, as alot of times it feels like queer characters are made as explicitly queer as they’re allowed to be as quickly as they’re able to be on screen so that the show can grab those important Representation Brownie Points from episode one and either introduce a Manwhore or a Uhaul Lesbian right away and just kind of leave them in that trope until “someone comes along and changes that” or whatever, I don’t even know what straight writers do half the time, but Hannibal- as a show and a charactor- doesn’t do that, he’s just allowed to exist and tell his story, and THAT is good representation

With the heavy-handed example over with though, I want to tackle the biggest part of this entire “debate” that makes me interested in it:

Queer people are allowed to be bad people

Queer people are allowed to be lazy and unattractive and non-political and angry and jealous and yes, “bad” and evil too

Wile I DEFINITELY prefer to have morally good characters- especially after literally a century of rarely getting more than The Evil Homosexual stereotype and all it’s kin- I also don’t like the direction some people are taking this where queer people are only “allowed” to be 100% morally flawless and good and righteous at all times because it’s just so unrealistic, and because it does the exact same thing that the opposite stereotype does: Puts queer people in a box, makes us a decoration for the straight cast so that the creators get Representation Brownie Points and can’t get yelled at on Twitter, and treats us like we’re some other species (and not in the cool way like werewolves but more like... well, decorations, as I’ve said before)

And if you’re worried about the way straight-cis people perceive us due to seeing evil queer characters, you should be equally worried about how they perceive us seeing nothing but morally flawless ones

I could get into An Entire Thing about the history of Straights trying to turn queer people into what they want us to be and present an inaccurate depiction of us to their brethren for their own benefit but I’ll make it relatively simple

The old way of keeping The Queers away from their Innocent Straight Children was to turn us into villains so that we would be ashamed of who we really are and hide ourselves and pretend to be The Good Christian Folk nextdoor and not get overly political or loud or different

The new way of keeping The Queers away from their Innocent Straight Children is to turn us into sexless Ken & Barbie stereotypes so we can be ashamed of who we really are and pretend to be The Good Christian Folk nextdoor and not get overly political or loud or different

By sterilizing queerness into something they find more “acceptable”, they’re doing the same thing they used to, but now through a lens of “Aren’t you happy you get what you want? You can get married now! You can hold hands in public! Just make sure not to do any of that other crazy stuff you people get up to and you can stay at the Civil Rights Table :)”, we’re still not “allowed” to be sexual human beings, it’s just framed in a way that makes us feel like the people shunning us are on our side wile those same people are still in the corner going “Just don’t kiss in public ok?”

And I could go On about this for some time but let’s get back to the point-

Queer people are three-dimensional people and we should be allowed to be so, we should be allowed to have characterization outside of The Gay Love Interest and The Gay BFF and The Gay Butler and so on, outside of the stereotypes being imposed on us

That’s one of the main reasons I love Yuri On Ice so much, and love Batwoman so much.... and one of the main reasons I love Hannibal and Harley Quinn and Helluva Boss and Killing Eve so much, all of these things star queer characters and queer relationships to different degrees (Batwoman, for example, makes a MUCH larger point and political stance about queerness than, say, Hannibal) and they’re all about something other than queerness too, the charecters are three-dimensional and they’re not built around their sexualities or side peices for straight people

And none of them are PUNISHED for their sexualities either

Going back to Castiel earlier, stereotypes are hardly the worst of our worries when Burry Your Gays, Gayngst Induced Suicide, and Gay Guy Dies First are still alive and well- among others

From Frank N’ Furter in Rocky Horror Picture Show to Tara in Buffy The Vampire Slayer to, oh look, it’s Supernatural again with not just Cas, but also Charlie, and even arguably Dean (but that’s a much longer story for a much different time) and many many more... sometimes just having any gay charecter live through a franchise is enough on it’s own- setting the bar awfully low there but it’s still hard for a shamefully large amount of franchises to step over

In some cases like Tara, it can be pretty decently argued that the death has little- if anything- to do with queerness, but in examples like Cas and Frank, it’s pretty blatantly obvious, especially when the other queer characters in their respective franchises didn’t exactly fair well either....

Matt Baume put it best when he said that until recently, you had to choose if you wanted your only source of representation to be dead or evil, and most people chose evil

Now-a-days that’s clearly not the case as much but there’s still a heavy enough flavor of it there- and villains are just part of gay culture, dating all the way back to prohibition, queer people identified as outlaws because we literally were, so pirates and cowboys and other anti-heros and villains became a staple of the culture that’s still very much alive to this day, thus leading to another point: Identification

Straight people can identify with pretty much whoever they want- from superheros to princesses to any and every kind of villain

Tony Soprano is a horrible, horrible person but is notorious for being beloved among straight white males because he’s a projection of who they want to be- powerfull (and wealthy)

Stolas from Helluva Boss actually presents a pretty similar power fantasy, he’s part of a family who lives outside the larger part of the law, he can kill (nearly) anyone he pleases, he’s physically and socially powerfull, he’s wealthy, he has a nuclear family, he gets to screw around with whoever he wants with the only one taking issue being his wife, the only real difference is that Stolas is queer (and much more fashionable... and pleasant)

Queer people should be allowed to have those power fantasies as much as straight people are

Speaking as a bisexual female myself, I absolutely ADORE Villanelle from Killing Eve, I really don’t care that she’s a bitch or has killed an uncountable amount of people, it’s fun to project on her, and seeing a very flawed woman fall in love and be vulnerable and open herself up to a relationship and get that relationship with another woman is AMAZING to me, that doesn’t make the relationship it’s self healthy or good, but it’s still fun to watch and plays further into that identification

I love Korra and Asami from Legend Of Korra, they’re a sweet, wholesome relationship between two sweet, wholesome characters and I adore them... but I’m allowed to adore Eve and Villanelle too, even if the relationship is toxic and the characters have baggage and Villanelle is literally a serial killer

Ofcourse enjoying something doesn’t make it “good”, I enjoy alot of trash B rated (and C rated) horror movies too, it doesn’t mean I think they deserve Oscars (if that’s really the measuring stick we’re going to use), but I think when it comes to representation, it’s important to distinguish the difference between good queer character and a moral queer character, they just... aren’t the same

Light Yagami from Death Note, Bill from Kill Bill, and Joker from Batman are all just... horrible, horrible people, there’s no doubting that, they are morally terrible... but my god are they fantastic charecters- they’re interesting, they’re three dimensional (even if only occasionally in the Joker’s case), they’re well written and complex, there’s a reason why they’re iconic and why they’re still talked about decades after their introduction into the world, they are GREAT characters who are morally bad, and characters like Hannibal and Villlanelle are in that boat too, they just so happen to be queer- and there’s what it all boils down to

People being queer, not queer people

Some of the most beloved examples above like Yuri On Ice and Legend Of Korra are praised for being about people who are queer, people who have stories focused on other things and are just allowed to exist without their sexualities defining them, and the same should be said and appreciated for villains who are queer too

In an age where so much queer-focused media is about tragedy (the period lesbian dramas and Gayngst teen media for example), and so much of it is focused on the same exact aspects of queer life (coming out, dating around, getting or being married, but mostly coming out), it’s great to have characters who just so happen to be queer without those things being the center of their storylines- and without them being canon fodder or the Gay BFF, or being a terrible stereotype from the 90s that just won’t die...

And that by no means is to say you have to like these characters- not at all, there are PLENTY of objectively good/well-written queer characters who I don’t like for whatever reason- but to call them bad representation just because they’re bad people is sweeping ALOT under the rug

And I know I’ve harped alot on avoiding queer-centered storylines like coming out stories and relationship dramas, but those are fine, they have their place just like everything else, really, they just don’t need to have the only place- that does a disservice to so many other types of queer stories- for the heroes and the villains, because morality and goodness have nothing to do with one’s sexuality, just like one’s sexuality has nothing to do with morality and goodness

[judgement-free-sideblog]

Cakes and accidents

Don’t you just love meet cuties?? I do, I got this idea in my mind for like a week and finally got the time to write it, I hope you like it as much as I did

Tom Holland x reader

One shot

Warnings: Fluff, maybe cursing

The brown box with a “Congratulations” write on top felt heavy in your hands, you checked the clock and it was 2:15 in the afternoon, your sister won’t be at home at least for another hour, and you had been sitting waiting for the cake to be ready at the shop for like an hour so you choose to walk the Canbury Gardens to the end instead of walk around and take the bus.

The cold breeze from the Tamesis felt nice in your face, it was lovely august afternoon and for once things were going great, not like they were bad before but there was hardly anything that could ruin that moment, until she arrived

The rumor of fast running legs and the voice of a man screaming “Tessa please stop!!” Make you turn around, still holding tightly the box but it was too late a big mass of grey hair and enthusiastic licking was already over you and suddenly you found yourself on the grass and the cardboard box completely destroyed with chocolate and hazelnut filling all over you and the friendly dog.

“I’m so sorry ma'am, are you alright?” A polite voice over your head said and then he talked to the dog “Tessa you naughty girl, I told you to not run away like that”

“Oh please don’t blame her, I’m fine. And please don’t call me madame I feel like a thousand years old” You immediately said and then taking the hand he offered you to get up, surprised by how strong he was, and there he was Tom Holland with a concerned look holding your hand “And I’m only twenty, I’m… I’m…” Your tongue froze in your mouth when you realize who he was, even when him screaming Tessa was a given you could not believe your eyes and considered the possibility that you may be having a concussion and imagine the whole thing"Y/N" you said finally trying to look casual but certain he noticed you staring for a moment to his arms, and you quickly let go of his hand.

“Oh nice to meet you miss” he said with a smile that started in his eyes and extended to his whole face “I’m…”

“Oh no the cake” you interrupted him when you saw Tessa desperately trying to destroy the rest of the box “Fuck! Now I’m never going to make in time” you take both hands to your mouth and look back at him with a nervous smile “I’m so sorry”

“Oh don’t worry darling” He said laughing “But please let me pay for what this troublemaker did, I’m sure your… boyfriend? Won’t mind if you are late with a cake” He said petting the dog and trying to read you reaction.

“Oh no, this was an accident I couldn’t accept, and no he wouldn’t mind” You said now mentally laughing at the subtle disappointment in his eyes “Because he doesn’t exists, it was for my sister she got a fancy exchange to a USA college and we are throwing a surprise farewell party at four”

“Oh” He said smiling again “In that case with more reason there’s gotta be something I can do, where did you bought it?”

“In a Pastry shop in Eden Street, like 10 minutfrom here is not far nut I’ll never make it in time, I have to get out of the garden, then go back and wait for the cake to be ready and then go back to my house” you start listening knowing too well it was impossible to be at home before four. “There is no way I make it on time, I’ll just bought some biscuits on the way home”

“This place is by any chance Glutopia?” He asked taking out his phone, you nod and he started dialing a number, so you take a moment to watch him, he was wearing jeans and a dark grey tshirt and a baseball cap, you can smell a discreet fresh scent and assume is his perfume, he looked as perfect as you can imagine if not better.

You look directly at your feet trying to remain calm and don’t freak out and start asking a million annoying questions that could make him feel uncomfortable, it was nice of him to try and introduce himself, but he was Tom Holland you knew that very well and your other concerns were keeping you from fully acknowledging the situation.

“Thanks man I’ll be there in fifteen” He hung up the phone and looked at you once again with that bright and contagious smile of his “it’s all settled, a friend of mine owns that Pastry shop and he seems to remember your order I asked him to make it again for you, let’s go!”

“Oh that’s so sweet of you, but you really don’t have to…” you start but he was already walking “Go where?” You manage to ask now following and the happy dog that kept trying to run.

“To my car of course, you’ll get there faster if I drive you, is the least that I can do” He said as if it was obvious and you ignore the surrealism of the situation and followed him.

“You lady are going to need a bath when we get home” He said to Tessa once she was comfortably in the back seat and you on the fron of his Audi, Of course he has this car your mind says and you prevent yourself for not taking pictures like a crazy person, thanking god you phone is in your purse. “I’m really sorry, she can be very strong, you are not hurt, are you Y/N?”

“I’m fine really” you said delighted by the sound of your name in his lips “If anything is my fault for being clumsy and getting on her way, we actually have a dalmatian at home and he can be very affectionate at times, so I’m used to”

“Oh that’s nice, what is his name?” He answered and you can feel he is genuinely interested.

“Bones, he was so skinny when my mom rescued him, and you could see his spine under the skin, so we called him that, poor thing had terrible owners before” You answered, and looked at the window sad because the ride was coming to an end so quickly.

“Oh that’s so sad, but I’m glad you and your family take care of him, I can’t live without this beauty right here” he said once he parked the car and give a friendly rub to Tessa’s head.

“Well he is the light of the house actually” You said looking at the entrance of the shop “Thanks for bringing me”

“I actually fancy a cup of tea right now, if you don’t mind me waiting with you, I will give you a ride home if you want, you know make sure the cake gets safe and sound to his destiny” He said taking the dog out and offering his arm to you.

“Sure, that would be lovely” you said taking it, and it was a good thing since your legs were about to not respond by how perfect he was and how sweet and chivalrous he acted.

“So your sister is in college, and you?” He asked once you were sitting in the thankfully empty shop, a pair of hot cups of tea and a plate of biscuits were between he and you and it felt so right and simple that you finally relaxed and were able to talk without fear, he had that effect on you, to make you feel comfortable and like all his attention was on you.

“I’m getting my Bachelor’s degree in English literature at Bristol” You said, with no success in hiding how proud of yourself you were “I intend to become a writer”

“Oh a smart girl, that’s amazing” he said taking a biscuits and giving it a big bite.

“I didn’t mean to brag really, what do you do you…?” Sure let’s pretend I don’t have all your movies at home a phone filled with pictures of your precious face, your mind said but you managed to sound convincing and even dare to ask “I’m so sorry I didn’t catch your name”

A baffled look appeared on his face for a moment, but he don’t seem offended, just surprised, and you were about to stop the joke and simply said that of course you knew who he was but he spoke first.

“How rude of me, I’m Stanley I live nearby and I’m an actor, and you should brag, never be ashamed of doing something you love” he said, and now you were not sure if he was playing along or if he was just relief of having a normal conversation, so you played along.

“Oh that’s so wonderful, theater, movies or telly?”

“Theater, and I’m actually about to start a play in a month, you should come” he said with no sarcasm, now you were sure he was enjoying not being the big star but a simple guy from London and that made you smile even more.

“I would love to, but in that case you should definitely let me invited you a pint after, since you have been so splendid rescuing me from my clumsiness” you said reinforcing your point since a piece of biscuit fall in your cup splattering your blouse.

“That would be perfect” he said and he offered you a napkin laughing, and then took another and to your surprise he started writing his number on it. “So you can call me in case you need to get rescued again” You took it with a foolish smile in your face, holding to it as it was your most precious possession. “So what kind of writer you want to be?” He asked and you keep talking like that for the next 30 minutes until the cake was ready, and as he said he took you home, and you were there with 15 minutes to spare before other people and your sister arrived.

“Well I guess that’s it” he said once you were in front of your house and you were petting Tessa and saying goodbye to her “I umm… I hope I’ll see you again, maybe in a less disastrous situation, I actually live nearby”

“I wouldn’t call it disastrous, more like a friendly accident” you said putting an almost imperceptible extra intonation on the f word, the idea of being so close to your door and back to reality gave you courage to take one last risk, and after you shake his hand and turned to enter your home you add “I’ll see you around neighbor” and run inside without looking back.

“Oh she definitely knows!” Harry said taking a big bite of the pizza Tom had ordered for dinner “What I still don’t get is why you didn’t tell her from the start hey I’m Tom Holland, although she looks hot, and you said she’s got a sister?” He was looking at the picture Y/N had sent him two days later and wich Harry had surprised him smiling at, there was dalmatian looking at the girl with sad eyes and the text said:

Someone’s jealous because I smell like Tessa.

“Well she is a smart woman, and it was nice having a nice conversation with her, and her sister sounds way too smart for you” he said teasing the young boy. “Maybe I’m just reading too much into this, but I still feel shitty about lying to her”

“Well your name is actually Stanley, and you do are about to star in a play, so no lies there, just call her and asked her out, I’m sure miss Bristol alumni here would like you”

He only nodded, even if she knew who he was her face and her laugh kept popping up in his mind in the last three days they had been chatting, so he finished his meal and walked away from the table, writing another text for her, thinking this was the best accident he ever had.

Hey neighbor, dinner tomorrow?

[nymp21]

I like you... a lot [Reader x Cordelia]

English is not my native language, so I apologize for the mistakes i’m going to make. 

Also if you have requests don’t hesitate to send them to me :) 

Imagine : You’re new at the coven and have a crush on Cordelia. You’re very shy around her and the others begin to notice. But what you don’t know is that she also has a crush on you. The girls plan to make the two of you together.

Enjoy ;). 

You had arrived at the coven two weeks ago. You can’t say that you didn’t love the place. On the contrary you loved it. The other witches, even Madison, wich was very surprising, were nice with you. You were becoming friends with Zoe, Coco and Queenie. They helped you with your telepathy powers and you were very grateful. Your parents have never been very tolerant with your habilities. 

You were happy that Miss Cordelia accepted you in the coven. She was so nice, and powerful, and beautiful. Ok you had a little crush on her... a BIG crush on her. But you were so shy around her that you could’nt say a word. And she was your surpreme, almost your professor. So you had to forget your feelings. It was better for the two of you. 

The sunlight through the window of your bedroom awoke you. You felt the smell of coffee coming from downstairs and you smiled. You loved cafeine. 

After dressed yourself up, you joined the other girls.The breakfast was ready. The young witches, Madison and Zoe were sitting at the table. 

“Good Morning Y/N” Said Zoe with a smile. 

“Good Morning.”

“I wonder why we talk to her, it’s a waste of energy, she can read our mind when she wants to.” Your heard Madison said. 

Zoe gave her a exasperated look. 

“Fine” Madison sighed “Good Morning.” 

You smiled at the blond. 

“Thank you Madison. Good Morning to you too. How was your night ? Did you sleep well ?” 

“Oh no ! I’m not in the mood for a conversation so leave it Y/N.”

“Madison please !” you heard behind you. “Be nice. You don’t want to make Y/N leaves us already right ?” 

Your heart skipped a beat when you saw that Cordelia was siting beside you, and you blushed when she smiled at you. 

Madison rose. 

“If noboby can understand that I don’t want to talk or to be polite in the morning, then I leave. Have a good day bitches.” 

And she left the room. 

“Don’t worry” said Cordelia with a hand on your arm. “She’s like this with everyone.” 

You just nodded. 

“Do you feel better with your powers Y/N ?” Asked your supreme. 

“Oh... yes. I guess. »

You did’t know how a simple crush could hush you this way. Everytime Cordelia spoke to you, you were so shy.

« I’m glad ! » she responded with a shiny smile and you felt your cheeks burn.

« She ‘s able to control her telepathy now and to hear only the people she wants to hear.» you heard Zoe said.

« Oh love that’s great ! You must be proud of yourself ! »

You melted down when you heard Miss Cordelia called you « love » and you just managed to mumble a « yes » before hiding yourself in your cup of coffee. You took a sip and saw Zoe looking at you with a knowing smile on her lips

What ? I have something of my face ?

You thought.

But then Cordelia got up from her chair.

« I have to go to a meeting this morning. But I’d be back this afternoon for classes. Zoe can you replace me until then ? »

« Too bad ! I’m sure (Y/N) wanted You as a professor this morning. She seems to love your teaching. »

You choked with your coffee and started to cough. Zoe gave you an innocent smile as you looked at her with a « what a fuck » glare.

You felt Cordelia’s hand on your shoulder.

« Are you okay (Y/N) ? »she seemed concerned.

« Yes ! » you managed to say between two cough. « Yes. I’m fine ». You avoided her look, didn’t want her to see you blushing hard.

« Cordelia, we are going to be late »

Myrtle Snow enterred the room.

Thanks God ! You thought

« Yes ! I’ m coming. Have a great morning Girls »

« You too Miss Cordelia » said the young witches in unisson.

...

« What the fuck Zoe ! Why did you say that !? »

You were cleaning the dishes of the breakfast and asking Zoe for an explanation.

« Because it’s true. »

« What’s true ? »

Coco just entered the room.

« (Y/N) has a big crush on our supreme ! »

« What ? No ! that’s not true ! »

« Oh yes ? Then, why are you blushing so hard ? »

« Because ....it’s embarrassing ! »

« Yeah ! Or because i’ m right ! Come on (Y/N) ! You don’t have to be afraid or ashamed. Love is a pure emotion. »

Coco nodded and added : « Yes ! And Cordelia is a lovely personn I’m sure she will understand. »

You stopped the cleaning and looked at her with horror.

« Don’t you dare plan to tell her ! It’s better if it rests secret. »

« Haha ! So I’ve been right ! You. Have. A. Crush. On. Cordelia. » Zoe laughed.

You sighed.

« Yes ! I do ! So what ? She doesn’t have feelings for me anyway and she would feel creepy if I tell her. »

« You don’t know that. » said Coco. « And you will never know if you don’t ask her. »

« I won’t ! »

You didn’t know why they wouldn’t leave you alone with your feelings.

« Then we are going to help you ! »

You cut the water off and turned back to Zoe.

« Help her with what ? » Madison was looking at you with curiosity in her eyes.

« With her feelings for Cordelia. »

You sighed.

« Great ! Thanks girls now everybody in the coven knows ! »

« Hey ! I can keep a secret.» told Madison with an offended look. « And I don’t help people ! »

Coco and Zoe gave her a look full of disaprouval.

« ... but I think I can make a exception. »

« Leave it Maddison I don’t want any help because I'm not going to tell anything to Miss Cordelia . I don’t want to ruin everything.” 

“You could read her mind.” Suggested Madison. “ You’ll know if your feeling are mutual. »

The idea wasn’t that bad but...

« No she would sense it if she tries to use telepathy with her. She is the Supreme after all. » Responded Coco.

« See ? I’d better keep that a secret. » I conclued.

You watched Zoe who was deep in her thoughs. After a moment of silent she spoke.

« I may have an idea... »

You interrupted her : « Ok you know what. Thank you ! But I don’t want your help really. Things are better like this. »

« Ok we leave you alone with your feeling. » said Zoe with a smile, but the look she exchanged with the others said otherwise.

Oh brother ! I Knew I wouldn’t have to tell them !

...

Days and weeks passed. You were improving your skills in telepathy. But the feelings for your supreme were worst because you hadn’t manage to control them anymore. Anytime she spoke to you, she looked at you, you were speechless and blushing so hard at the point that It became very embarrassing because Cordelia figured out something was wrong. She kept to asking you if you were alright or she could do anything to help you, if you have any disorder.

Oh boy that was terribly embarrassing

One night you were about to going in you bed, when someone knocked on your door.

« It’s open »

Coco passed her head at the opening.

« We’re going to take a midnight bath at the river not far away from here. Come with us ! »

You thought that you’d have anything important to do tonight so you decided to follow the girls outside.

The night was hot but dark. You was only able to see the shadows of your friends. The girl were giggling like teenagers and you began to regret that you had followed them. 

Finally after a walk in the dark, Zoe announced that you were arrived. And this worthed the walk : The place was beautiful, the moon was reflected by the water, you could see the silver light of the astre dancing on the surface of the river. 

“Ok Midnight bath !” exclamed Coco, stripping herself. 

“Wait, you mean... naked ?!” You asked, shocked 

“Of course (Y/n) don’t tell me you’re shy !” 

You glare at Madison and smile at her. 

“You bet ! The last in the water make the dishes tomorrow !” And you threw your clothes on the floor before plunging in the cold water. The river was calm and swimming in it was very relaxing. You let yourself sail the water before emerging again. 

“So guys who lost ?” you said. 

But no one responded. The place was silent and you didn’t seem to see if the girls were there.

“Girls ?” 

This was worrying. Were you alone ? How ? Why ? Did they make you a prank ?

“Haha that’s funny “ your voice has begun to tremble. “Now you can show up, i’m not laughing anymore !”

No response again. Ok now you were scared. You began to swim on the edge to get yourself out of the water. You were almost there when, suddenly you felt something grab you ankle. Panic passed through your eyes and you’ve been dragg into deep. You started to fight back with fear helped with the adrenaline, but the thing was strong, so strong and the water so deep. You were feeling your strengh abandonning you. It was too late. 

All of a sudden a bright light came into you and envelopped your body. You felt two arms put you out of the water and the death. 

On the beach you strarted coughing, a warm hand was on your back, helping you catch your breath. 

“It’s okay sweetheart. Breath calmly... you’re okay.” you heard a familiar voice that could make you pass out if you weren’t such a mess at the point. 

“Miss Cordelia...” you managed to say beetween to cough

She hush you.

“Don’t talk, it would make things worse. There, breathe with me. Breathe in, breathe out... there, okay.” 

Once you managed to breathe normally you watched Cordlia. She was wet, her blond hair were against her cheeks and In her eyes you could see the fear she had been felt a moment ago. Could it be.... ? But you didn’t have the time to think because she put her hands on your face and all you managed to do was blush very hard. She was inspecting you, like a nurse. 

“What were you thinkin’ ?” She said, and you heard the concern in her voice, she was shaking, probably because of the cold air. “Had the girls ever told you that this place was dangerous ?”

“Wha..”

“You were lucky I was near (Y/N) and that I heard you.” 

She was sermonizing you like a mother. You could see the anger in her voice and you were sad that you were the cause of her wrath. But technically that wasn’t yout fault but the girl’s who, apparently knew this place was dangerous and decided to play with you. 

“Miss Cordelia I...”

She offered you your shirt and you realized that you were naked... in front of your secret crush

OH MY GOD !! IT IS SO EMBARRASSING !! 

“You should cover yourself (Y/N)” Her voice was surprinsingly husky. “You could catch fever.”

You took your clothes and began to dress yourself. Cordelia has turned her back to you, leaving you some privacy. You could tell she was  as embarrassed as you because she didn’t say anything while you were putting your clothes on. 

“I’m dressed.” 

She turned back to you. 

“Miss Cordelia. I didn’t mean to upset you. In fact...” 

She put her hands on you shoulder. Again she was so close you could smeel her intoxicating perfume. 

“I know (Y/N) sorry I didn’t want to take out my bad temper on you... It’s just... i was afraid of loosing you. When I heard you screamed I thought the worst was happening. I like you (Y/N)... a lot.” 

Your brain was doing a black out. “She liked you.” in what way ?

“I like you too Miss Cordelia you’re a great teacher and...”

“No (Y/N) I Like you...” 

You frown, not sure you were getting it. 

“My god you’re so oblivous.” She laughed. 

The next thing you felt was a pair of sweet lips against your own. Your heart skepped a beat, but after a moment of shock you managed to respond at the kiss. This was amazing, beyond what you were dreaming. Cordelia’s lips were soft and she tasted like honey and vanilla. Her hand was behind your neck to push you against her and you moan at the feeling. Then she broke the kiss. 

“You understand now ?” She said. 

“Yes... yes I understand.” you smiled. 

“Now, why don’t you grab your thing so we can continue this inside the house?”

“Sounds great to me” you said blushing hard.

...

“I told you that would work !” Said Madison watching as the you two left for the coven.

“Indeed, but don’t you think that was a little dangerous to let (Y/N) in the water with the Thing ?” responded Zoe

“Oh we don’t care, it worked and she’s alive and happy. You have all to get me 10 dollards...” 

[justshygirlthings]

You are the next Supreme

Thor Odinson x witch!reader

A.N this imagine is going to be a special one because it is my first ever request! So this imagine will be a cross over between the MCU and AHS Coven. I hope you all enjoy this as much I did writing it! And if there are any spelling or grammar errors I’m am very sorry for that, please try and ignore them 😂

Request: The reader- is no less than a Supreme (can be male or female, I know that there is no male supremes but... we can make an exception) and the reader catches feeling for Thor? Or someone else from the Avengers

@weyaoiloverforever this one is all for you! I hope this isn’t bad I really tried my best, I kinda rushed it a little bit at the end but I hope that it’s okay. I still hope you like it❤️

You had been at Miss Robichaux's Academy for Exceptional Young Ladies for as long as you could remember. Cordelia, the current supreme had always been there for you, taught you everything that you knew. She was like a The mother that you never had. At first you were scared of your power, but Cordelia had taught you to embrace that power and use it for the greater good. Your powers eventually got stronger to the point where you could be the next supreme. But you highly doubted that. You weren’t as powerful as Cordelia, but when you told her, she seemed to believe that you were the next supreme.

You were currently taking a stroll through the streets of New Orleans. Nothing to exiting happened here, but when you noticed that people had be fading away, that caught your attention.

You ran to the Coven as fast as you could. You had to tell Cordelia.

“Cordelia!” You exclaim frantically as you burst through the front door.

“Y/n! What is it?!” Cordelia rushes to you immediately when she heard you calls.

“The people,” you breathed. “There fading away.” You say.

In fact when you heard yourself you sounded crazy.

“What?” Cordelia questions. “I don’t believe you, are you feeling alright?” She reached up to touch your forehead to see if you were hot. But you weren’t.

“I swear to you I saw them fading!” You exclaim again.

“Um Miss Cordelia? What’s happening!?” A young which questions behind you.

You quickly turn and see her body begin to turn to dust. You watch in horror. What the fuck is happening?!

“Y/N, warn the others. Get Zoë and meet me in the living room.” Cordelia says as she walked to the pile of dust.

You run around the coven, searching and warning everyone to head to the living room at once. Your pretty sure that everyone had made it down but you couldn’t find Zoë.

You walk to her room, knocking on the closed door.

“Zoë? Are you in there-.” You cut yourself oof when you found a pile of dust on her bed.

“No...” you whisper, tears falling down your face. Walking over to what was left of her, you touch the dust. “Oh Zoë, we needed you the most.”

A few months had passed since the disappearance of the witches. And to be honest, you hadn’t gotten over it yet. You had found out by the news that it was someone named Thanos that had snapped at wiped out 50% of all living things and that the Avengers has tried to stop him.

It was the first time in your life that you had heard of the Avengers. But you had to admit, the God of Thunder really struck your interest.

You were broken out of you me thoughts of the god when you felt a tap on your shoulder.

“How’s the research coming along?” Cordelia asked.

“Oh, it’s fine.” You reply.

You had kept Zoë’s ashes? Dust? What ever it was, so you could figure out if you could bring her back.

“Out of all the seven wonders, resurrection is the hardest to conquer.” Cordelia laughed a little.

“Yes, it’s always the hardest one for me to do.” You say.

“If you keep working at it, you will be able to do it, and become the next supreme.” She has a little smile on her face.

“I’m not the next supreme, you are the best supreme this coven ever had! There’s no way I could top you.”

“You never know Y/n. Wether you like it or not, I know you are the next supreme.” Cordelia stated.

You smiled a little. Maybe you were the next supreme.

The door bell rang in the distance.

“I’ll go get that, you keep working on finding a way to bring our beloved Zoë back.” She walked out of your room and down the stairs.

You look back at the resurrection spell in your hands. Thinking of how to turn dust back into a human.

“Um Y/n, Cordelia wants you down i here office immediately.” One if the witches tells you.

You scrunch your eyebrows together in confusion. You leave your room a walk down the stairs. Your boots echoing each step you took. You felt a strong presence in Cordelia’s office.

Who the hell was here?

“Miss Cordelia you needed me?” You stop short when your e/c meets his bright blue ones.

“Y/n, I would like you to meet Steve Rogers and Thor Odinson.”

“Nice to meet you ma’am.” Steve said.

“Hello Lady Y/n.” Thor said making a blush rise to your cheeks.

“Nice to meet you both.” You say.

“Y/n here is one of the best witches at this Academe. She is also one of the most powerful.” Cordelia starts. “She will be the next supreme, if I might add.”

Your eyes go wide. “Cordelia, what is this about?” You ask as politely as possible.

“They need someone to help them figure out this mess. Of course they weee affected by this a lot more than we were. They need our help.” She explained.

“We heard that you are the most powerful witches in the world. We could really use that to help us.” Steve begged.

“I would love to help you guys but, Cordelia’s the supreme, the most powerful out of all us wiches, she’s the one you need, not me.” You said.

“Y/n, you will go with them, I know the power that you posses, you are the next supreme. Now pack your things, you are going with these gentlemen to help them make things right.”

You tired to speck but Cordelia beat you to it.

“Go.” She said.

You didn’t bother to fight back, and slowly left the room.

“Lady Y/n, let me help you.” Thor offered from behind you.

You turn to face his large frame.

“Uh sure,” you smile. “I’ll lead you to my room.”

You both start to head upstairs to your room.

“This place is so fascinating.” Thor said amazed.

“Yeah, this place has been here since the Salem Witch trials. It was a Heavan for lost witches in need of protection.” You proudly say.

“And is it true that you are the ‘next supreme’” he asked.

You stop in your tracks. “I’m not sure.” You said quietly.

Thor patiently waited for you. He took that time to obsurve you closely.

“You are beautiful.” He muttered.

You look up at him. “Did you say something?”

Thor got flustered. “Oh no I didn’t.” Then had a goofy smile on his face.

You smile at him. “My rooms right here.” You said then walked in. Searching for a suitcase to put your stuff in.

“Nice room that you have here.” Thor said.

“Thank you.”

“What’s this?” He asked.

You look at what he was holding. It was Zoë’s ashes. A sad smile fell in your face.

“That’s my friend, Zoë.” You say quietly. “Or what’s left of her. She disappeared during the, well what ever you call it.”

“The snap.” Thor said. “I’m sorry for your loss.”

“It’s fine I guess. I’ve been trying to find ways to bring her back. Like resurrecting her, but I don’t have the power to do that yet. I can do many other things like the rest seven wonders but just not resurrection.”

“The sever wonders?” He questioned.

You giggle, you start to pack your things. “ The seven wonders are the powers that you have to complete in order to be the supreme, can only accomplish 6 not all 7.”

”and that’s resurrection. The one you can’t do.” He said.

“Yes, that’s right.”

As you pack your things, both you cans Thor go to know each other better. And each time he would laugh or smile at something you said, butterflies would flutter in your stomach. You began to think that maybe going with him wouldn’t be so bad after all. As long as you could be with Thor that is.

Leaving the coven was the hardest thing you ever had to do.

“Be strong Y/n, focus on your power and become what you are meant to be. The next supreme.”

“I’ll miss you Delia.” You cry.

“I’ll miss you too Y/n.” She said and pulled you into a big hug.

You pulled away and wiped your tears, walking over to the car that Thor and Steve had already been in.

You get in with a sigh.

“Welcome to the Avengers Y/n.” Thor said with a big smile.

Another couple months had passed by and you could not have been happier. Everyone else though was still morons their losses. You understood though. You had lost someone too. But Thor was the only one that you ever talked to. He told you everything about him. His family and adventures. He trusted you. And you trusted him. Soon the both of you had known each other like the back of your hands. You had feelings for him. Each day they grew and grew. But he mustn’t know that, you don’t wanna ruin the friendship you had together.

“Thor, can I ask you something?” You ask quietly.

“Anything Lady Y/n.” He turned his full attention to you.

“Have you ever been in love?” You say.

“Once, but it didn’t last long. She wasn’t the right one for me.” He said.

“Would you ever fall in love again?” You ask, hoping he would, and hopefully fall in love with you.

“I already have.” He looked at you with those beautiful blues eyes. His hand reached up to brush some hair out of your face. “That love is all for you.” He said quietly.

Everything moved in slow motionz when your lips met everything around you slowed, like time stopped. The only thing that mattered was the two of you. You both pulled apart with large smiles on your faces.

“I’ve loved you since the day I saw you. And with my love I will help you become the supreme that we need.” He said.

“I love you two Thor.” You smiled, leaning in again to kiss his soft lips.

[queendophne]

Love at First Note - Chapter 2

Pairing: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, Stony

For: Stony Bingo Round Two fill

Prompt: Secret Admirer

Summary: (PART 2/3) His teachers started an activity this quarter calling it ‘pass on the goodness’. Steve was semi-interested until he thought about using the anonymity to talk to Tony! All he had to do was figure out a way to bypass the ‘only for your classmate’ rule. Steve thought it was a stupid rule to have so he planned on figuring out a way around it. He did not want to get in trouble and cause ma to worry and be mad at him for it. Don’t worry though! Steve’s got a plan!

Notes: the first two parts of this fill are Tony and Steve in Kindergarten. The eiplogue or last part is their wedding. There is a cute fluffy fic. I had fun writing this! Enjoy part 2! The wedding is next.

Other Locations: on AO3

Steve was a shy extrovert, whatever that meant. His ma explained it as a person who liked people but was a bit scared to put themselves out there. Steve wanted to tell her that he was a brave boy and that he could face any situation! Then he met him. Or saw him. Steve did not get a chance to really talk to him the first time. Though he really wanted to.

Steve was visiting his best friend Bucky before the next activity when he saw him. He had this large smile on his face as he talked and Steve really just wanted that smile to be turned towards him. He could not hear the conversation but the light in the boy’s eyes was so enticing and full of wonder.

“Who's dat?” Steve tried to whisper but he knew he had failed when Bucky just gave him an annoyed look. His best friend was very nice and funny but he had his moods; today was one of those days.

“His name is Tony,” Bucky answered looking bored but Steve could tell Bucky was assessing Tony's threat level to his position. Bucky was always worried that Steve would lose interest in him.

“Tony?” Steve tested the name and he decided he liked it. Bucky just shrugged at him before going back to his puzzle that they were working on.

“Some wich kid,” Bucky continued as he placed another piece to the puzzle, “t’inks he is the most smartest pewson in the room.”

“He seems nice,” Steve commented smiling at Bucky happily, “you can tell me aaaall about him duwing lunch at home!”

“Why don't you go talk to him,” Bucky pointed at Tony's direction making Steve freak out and try to lower his friend’s arm.

“It's embewassing,” Steve kept a tight grip on Bucky's arm making the kid flinch a bit.

Bucky just sighed and decided to ignore Steve's presence for the rest of their break. Steve did not mind he was busy having mind conversations with Tony anyway.

Steve never got the courage to talk to Tony that day. But Steve was determined that it was going to happen. Sometime...in the far far future.

Steve went home that day and talked none stop about Tony to his ma. So much so that his ma had the scary idea of calling Tony's ma and inviting him over. Steve freaked and stopped talking about it instantly. His ma just laughed and told him to finish his vegetables.

Steve was never more alert eating food in his entire life as he watched the phone like a hawk.

But a big part of Steve hoped his ma ignored his pleas and called Tony's ma anyway. But ma promised and she never breaks promises even when Steve really wanted her to.

------

Bucky had come to his class this time and he was surprised to see that Tony had followed along. Steve had thought that Bucky had befriended him only to watch, with sad eyes, as Tony walked past him with his perfect smile and towards another kid in class named Bruce.

“Who kick’d yow puppy?” Bucky asked before following Steve’s line of sight before snorting.

“He can be fwends with Bruce and not me?” Steve asked Bucky with a large pout.

“I t’ought you wiked Bruce,” Bucky raised an eyebrow at him.

“I do! But I...just wanna be fwends with Tony too,” Steve fell back in his chair.

His distressed must have shown since not a moment later someone tapped him on his shoulder. Steve turned his pouty face around to see Tony standing there with one hand behind his back. Steve grew nervous at being visited by the one person he wants to talk to.

“Hi Steve,” Steve spitted out causing Bucky to groan and Tony to just blink owlishly at him, “I mean, um, I'm Steve.”

“Oh I'm Tony,” Tony responded taking a small step back.

“Nice to meet you Tony,” Steve smiled politely while trying to calm his nerves.

“Sowy I just saw you loo’ing sad so I bwought you my last biswuit,” Tony help out the said biscuit in front of Steve with a shy look on his face. Steve just smiled warmly at him and took the biscuit from Tony’s slightly shaking hands.

“Thank you,” Steve said looking at the biscuit but Tony was already gone when he looked up. Bucky stole the biscuit a second later without Steve ever really noticing.

-----

His teachers started an activity this quarter calling it ‘pass on the goodness’. Steve was semi-interested until he thought about using the anonymity to talk to Tony! All he had to do was figure out a way to bypass the ‘only for your classmate’ rule. Steve thought it was a stupid rule to have so he planned on figuring out a way around it. He did not want to get in trouble and cause ma to worry and be mad at him for it. Don’t worry though! Steve’s got a plan!

“Bucky! Bucky!” Steve ran towards Bucky at full speed while Bucky just side stepped out of the way to avoid being run over by him. Bucky raised an eyebrow at him questioningly.

“Yeah?” Bucky pressed as Steve tried to catch his breath. Steve placed his hands on his knees and forced himself to take the deepest breathes he could.

“Sam gave me the best idea!” Steve smiled standing up straight and grabbed Bucky’s free hand. Bucky gave him an odd look but he was kind of already used to Steve’s excited antics.

“And? You say nothing yet,” Bucky pulled away making Steve latch on harder. Bucky half-sighed, half-glared at Steve but Steve did not care because Bucky was going to listen to what he had to say. His friend was too curious in nature not to.

“Let me bweathe Bucky,” Steve glared at Bucky before finally revealing why he had run up to Bucky, “you awe in Tony’s class wight?”

“So?” Bucky started to look more disinterested and began to leave but Steve held him firmly in place. For a small kid, Steve sure had a tight grip.

“You can help me! I w’ite notes and you put them in his baggie!” Steve smiled widely looking at Bucky with those large blue irresistible eyes. Steve had a way of just convincing a person to do his bidding even when they really, really, did not want to.

Bucky groaned and rubbed his hands over his face once Steve freed them from his clutches. Steve just ran off again not really waiting for Bucky to respond knowing full well that his friend was going to do it.

Steve had spent a long time that night trying to figure out what to write. He sat on his desk in his room with a ripped paper from his notebook sitting on the wooden surface that seemed to be mocking him. This was attempt number twelve. He wanted to say something but not be too obvious for his first note.

So he simply wrote, “u r ausome!” And quickly folded the paper and stuffed it in his bag to give to Bucky later. He was scared to change or write something more. He did not want to come off as crazy and creepy. That would not do. This was going to work. It had too!

---------

Steve watched Tony’s face light up at the first note Steve had sent and it made him all the more excited to send the next few notes. Though, Steve doubted he made that much of a difference since Tony was probably popular and got a lot of notes. Maybe the note he read was not even his. Suddenly, Steve's enthusiasm dwindled but he was a stubborn boy. He was going to write to Tony every day and try to make him smile. If he had competition, Steve had to up his game.

Tomorrow he was going to add a drawing of Tony in his notes. This way he knows that Steve can be a good friend! The best way to gain a person’s friendship was to shower them in compliments. Make them feel wanted. Make them feel worth it. And to Steve, Tony was worth it. He just needed Tony to see that too!

So Steve worked hard. Trying to make the best notes and the best drawings he could make so that Tony was both impressed and happy that someone, not Steve, but someone cared a lot for him.

Every time he would watch Bucky put the notes and drawings in Tony's baggie to make sure his friend did not bail out of their agreement. Steve had later promised Bucky that he could have his share of his ma’s cookies for the entire quarter. Steve had struggled to relent his first share but every time since it got a little easier. Bargaining with Bucky was a hard business since he was stubborn second only to Steve.

----------------

It took the efforts of Sam AND Bucky to push Steve to invite Tony over to his apartment. Steve watched Tony read a note from Bucky's table wondering if Tony's smile was from his note. Bucky kept glaring at him and pointed at Tony when he was sure the other kid was not looking.

“Go,” Bucky ordered and Steve instinctively stepped one foot forward.

“It's onwy the second day of w’iting!” Steve tried to argue.

“So? You can w’ite and be fwends with him,” Bucky shot back pulling Steve forward. Steve stumbled a bit but luckily for him Tony wasn't looking.

“Go,” Bucky ordered again and this time Steve went. He felt nervous approaching Tony's table especially since the boy noticed him coming and watched him every step of the way.

“Hi Tony,” Steve greeted with a shy smile.

-----------------

“I did it!” Steve ran to Sam once he left Bucky’s classroom to go back to his own. He spotted Sam standing just outside the door of their classroom.

“Did wha’?” Sam looked confused before realization dawned on his face making his friend smile widely at him.

“He is coming over with Bucky dis weekend!” Steve jumped up and down and Sam joined in with him.

Sam asked endless questions about it and Steve gladly answered all of them. Though he did over exaggerate a lot of the story because he was five and five year old Steve was a very dramatic person.

“Cool! Let me know if you need anyding,” Sam patted Steve’s arm supportively before sitting across from him on their table.

His teacher gave them blank pages to draw or write on whatever they wanted and Steve decided to get a head start on his daily notes to Tony. All he could think about with every stroke of his crayon was Tony's smile. He did not even realize that a long while had passed and it was time to go home.

His ma met him at the door. She was a nurse so he worked odd hours and sometimes Steve never got to see her until late at night when she comes home and the movements in the apartment wakes him up. It was not his ma’s fault that Steve was a light sleeper.

“Hey sweatpea,” His ma smiled down at him moving aside to let him into their apartment. Steve hoped through the doorframe and looked up at his ma with a large smile on his face.

“Hello ma!” Steve greeted, “‘uess what!”

“What?” His ma bent down over exaggerating her words making Steve giggle.

“I invite Tony over this Fwiday,” Steve informed his ma jumping up and down a bit as he put his bag in it’s place and walked into the kitchen.

“Oh really? That’s is wonderful! I can’t wait to meet him,” His ma clapped her hands in excitement and it made Steve even happier about having Tony over.

“Yeah! Awesome!” Steve ran into his room to get his favorite toys out so he could head over to Bucky’s apartment after his ma leaves. Steve always goes over when she cannot find Steve a babysitter.

“I won’t be home early enough,” his ma came into his room after him, “so take a pair of pajamas to sleep over at Bucky’s, okay?”

“Okay,” Steve answered still digging in his box for his toys. His ma just ruffled his hair before bidding him goodbye and left him to get his stuff ready. His ma trusted him to head over to Bucky’s soon and knew that his best friend would come knocking if he took too long. And true to that statement, Steve heard a loud endless knocking at his door a few minutes later.

“I'm comin’” Steve called running over to the door with his night bag ready on his shoulder.

He opened the door to see Bucky standing at the door step with wet hair, new set of PJs and Mr. Scott his favorite teddy bear that is missing an eye. “Hi! I am weady!”

“Good,” Bucky answered sleepily before turning and heading towards his apartment. Bucky lived three doors down from Steve with his three sisters and his ma. Steve knew that Bucky loved it when Steve came over even when he was not vocal about it. His best friend always seemed more happy when Steve was around. He was the only boy in the apartment and sometimes he felt alienated. Steve was okay being Bucky's escape.

“Hi Steve,” Bucky's ma came from the kitchen wiping her hands on her apron that she was wearing. Steve smiled and greeted her back before Bucky pulled him away to his small room.

“Let's pway cars,” Bucky pulled out his ever growing car collection. All Bucky did was collect cars. He loved them. And Steve never denied Bucky anything. So he went to Bucky’s collection and pulled out one of his favorite cars.

-----------------

It was Friday and Steve was nervous. He was in constant motion. After three hours of running around the house trying to put everything together. Everything had to be perfect! Tony was rich! He needed to look rich too!

Then the doorbell rang...oh no. Steve froze in the middle of moving an item he had found astray to stare at the door in horror but when he saw the familiar disinterested face of James Buchanan Barnes.

A sudden relief flooded his person as Bucky shuffled into his apartment with his favorite set of cars. He always had at least one of them on person. Steve smiled at Bucky and decided to focus on Bucky until Tony came. His best friend always found ways to calm him down when he is being too jittery.  

After half an hour of playing in his room, Steve went to check the door. He opened it up not really expecting to see Tony standing there  but Steve just smiled widely at the brunette. Steve felt more excited now than nervous. Tony was finally here!

Steve moved so quick that he beat his ma to the door and say Tony standing there looking nervous and a bit fearful. Steve could not understand why Tony would be scared but Steve planned on wiping that fear away. Tony was his new friend after all!

Steve noticed Tony was holding something but he refrained from commenting. He did not want to make Tony more nervous than he already was. Steve instead watched how Tony took in his apartment and saw nothing but awe and wonder. It made Steve curious and happy that Tony seemed to like his house.

When they walked into Steve’s room, Bucky paused for a second from his playing to watch Tony and Steve walk into the room. Steve smiled at Bucky who just gave a small shrug in response.

This was going to be great! It will be...until Tony gave Bucky and him gifts. And it went downhill from there.

Steve was so shocked at what transgressed looking scandalized at Bucky before turning to Tony to see him run out his bedroom door. Steve called Tony’s name but he did not stop and ran into the bathroom to cry.

Turning around angrily, Steve glared at Bucky putting both hands on his hips looking ready to get in an all out fight. Steve could not believe Bucky would say that to Tony! Why was he being so mean?

Steve walked towards the bathroom deciding to go cheer up Tony instead of fighting Bucky. As he made his way to the bathroom he saw his ma come around the corner with a worried look on her face. A moment later Steve also felt Bucky shuffle up behind him. It seemed Bucky felt at least a little bad for what he said.

“What happened?” Steve’s ma asked them as they stood in front of the bathroom door.

Steve bit his lip nervously before explaining the situation to his ma. Steve watched as his ma prepared to lecture them and it seemed like Bucky could too since his friend froze up next to him.  

“Steven Grant Rogers and James Buchanan Barnes! I am extremely disappointed in you both. When a person gives you a gift you should always say thank you! I have raised you better than this Steven, and you James! Your mother taught you better. What did that boy do for you to be so rude? It is never right to assume someone’s intentions. He grew up in a different world than you both. This was probably his way of relaying he want to be your friend. Now go, knock on the door and tell him your sorry,” Steve’s ma pointed at the bathroom door looking at the two of them expectantly.

Steve rushed to obey instantly standing at the door giving it a soft knock. At first, Steve was afraid that Tony was going to ignore them but he heard a shuffling from behind the door letting him know that he could open it. Steve reached for the handle and turned the knob a bit nervous about what he was going to find on the other side of that door. He hoped Tony could forgive them. He really wanted to be his friend and Steve knew that in some ways Bucky did too.

Tony was sitting near the toilet when Steve stepped into the bathroom a bit looking at them with red eyes, and tear-stained cheeks. Steve felt even more horrible and was shocked into silence until his ma probed them to speak.

Steve was just glad that he got to see the smile on Tony’s face again. He never wanted to be the cause of those tears again.

“I’m sowy too,” Steve said after Bucky and Tony hashed it out. Tony turned to look at him a bit confused but smiled at him anyways.

“Me too!” Tony replied taking a tentative step forward towards Steve allowing him to pull Tony into a hug. Tony returned it happily.

“You awe my fwend now,” Steve declared, “and I want only smiles! Okay?”

“Yeah,” Tony giggled as he pushed himself far enough to look at Bucky with a smile which Bucky returned.

They went back to Steve’s room with Steve leading them by the hands wanting to get back to playing and having a good time. He could hear the two bicker a bit as they went back but there was no more anger or hurt in their voices. For that Steve was glad.

---------------

Steve was talking to Sam when Tony came rushing into his classroom. He looked around frantically before spotting him in the back corner. Steve always found it nice to watch Tony move about a room because Tony always seemed to move at a different pace than everyone else. He could even hear the few ‘sowy’s that Tony gave as he bumped into people on the way over to him.

To make it a bit easier though, Steve moved to meet him in the middle. Tony looked at Steve happily before he looked down at the paper in his hands nervously. It was odd since Tony had not been this kind of nervous since they first played together. He we was about to say something when Tony spoke up first.

“Hey Steve,” Tony greated.

Steve smiled warmly back always happy to greet and talk to Tony any time he saw him, “Hey ‘ony!” It was a toothy grin and Steve could feel himself smile even wider.

“This is fow you,” Tony pushed out the piece of paper in his hands towards Steve. Tony’s hands were shaking a bit and Steve did not want that at all. So he took it gladly and unflolded the paper to see a note that was in Tony’s handwriting that said,

“Dear Secret Admirer,

Thanck u for all the kind messages you rote me. I love every one of them. You are an amasing frend!

From,

 A fellow Secret Admirer.”

Steve loved it. He read it three times over and he smiled so hard it hurt his mouth. He looked up at Tony who looked half afraid, half curious which instantly turned relieved.

That was the best note he ever got. So much so that when he got home, he hung it up on the wall and it stayed there years after. Steve even took it with him to college much to Tony’s horror.

[in-art-be-liv]

that's not what Salvador said.

I’d like to take this space to make things a little more clear with my position on the Eurovision thing. I kinda regret the post beacuse it is not specific, and the result of a tired frustrated me. and that’s not my style. I should have calmed down and made a Long Post with valid contents, probably would have got less notes and a clear concience. So here comes. 

First af all I want to say I’m not mad that the song won, or that Italy didn’t. Actually I think this Eurovision had lots of very good songs and maybe I found two of the finilist not really winner matirial. I can say that between Portugal and Italy I preffered Italy and not because I’m a fan, I care very little for italian music and I don’t partinulary enjoy Occidentali’s Karma. But when my friends told me Portugal Won (I couldn’ t watch the finals because I was performing my self that night) I wasn’t outraged.

When I listened to the Portugal song for the first time I actually enjoyed it, I was intrigued, by the carfull construction of the melody and orchestration, and by the naturalistic nature of the performance. I can’t say I was really moved, or raptured, but as a musician and performer it made me curiouse and I told my self I would do some reaserch. 

But as I said, Occidentali’s Karma was still a better winner, beacuse the whole song had a purpose, the dance, the beat, the lyrics, the performance had the kind of impact that could move something in people minds … I mean I like to tell this to my self (The books about the naked monkey did sell a lot after the song was realised) … I know most people just enjoy dancing along with a gorilla. 

In the same way lot of people enjoy sweet, sad love songs, sang by a nice cute guy.

And most people never get to “ this is a very well composed song, I should probably have a look at this Portoguese jazz style music” , like most people don’t go “wow making a pop song to denote the hypocrisy of some western behaviors is so clever”

( I dare say the latter is more likely to happen but … not really)

So let’s say that someone goes as far as looking for the translation of the songs, with occindentali’s karma you get the Idea of what the Author’s design is … with Salvador’s song you get … a love song. One that kinda creeps me out I might add, but maybe that’s just me. So there’s that. 

Now I understand that Salvador had some issues he wanted to adress, like many other competitors, and his Idea was .. wearing a shirt. to adress a cause in a music contest. You have a powerfull instrument, music, and the chance to make the world listen … and you ask if you can wear a shirt. and also you can’t.  And I know that in this kind of music Lyrics aren’t important for the meaning but for the sound of it mostly. Still, he could have said to his sister, “why don’t we talk about someone who is homeless and rejected in our song? some one who needs help that’s running from injustice?”

So correct me if I’m wrong, It  appears to me that he really didn’t care about Eurovision. It wasn’t a big deal for him. He went beacause he wanted to bring his music to the world (wich kinda start to fit in my chat post thing). Just to be clear: his point wasn’t “I’m going to eurovision beacause I want to sai something to the world with my music”, his point was “ I want to show my music to the world”. Wich is all well and good, maybe not what I would have done, but not enough to make me mad about him winning. 

Now though, I firmly believe as a performer, that knowing your audince and your venue is crutial. All the “what really metter is making music” is cute and true in a certain way … but if your going to sing at a big, important, music competition, with a lot of hystory and (here I say it and here I deny it) political implications, you can’t just go there and be like you’re singng in a pub for a bunch of friends. I find at least  naive the fact that Salvador thinks his song and the Eurovision have no resonance and will be forgotten in no time. And following this state of mind he decided to go for plain and simple. again, nothing wrong with that, I’m still not mad. 

But finally, you win, ypu go get your prize, and you say that music isn’t firework knowing very well that most of the people in the room with you used fireworks for their performance, saying that pop music is fast food music in front of artist who just performed pop, right there. You say this at an event with a slogan that’s litterally celebrate diversity. with a history of fireworks and popular music. 

Look, I can believe he meant no harm, that he really just wants to sing and compose and he could be playing in his garage and he wouln’t care, that he was suprised that a song that he knew was complex and crafted could win … but that, just that implies that you think these people you performed for were unable to understand the value of your song. and inulting, even if low key, the audience intelligence is never a good idea.

Even if they probably voted you the saem way tourists crowd in front of the mona lisa to take a pic. 

So you manage to insult your competitors, your audience and the spirit of the contest that’s hosting you while you picking up the prize. that’s when I get mad. and I’m not mad beacuse for the insult, I really don’t think he meant it as an insult, I’m not mad at people who voted … maybe a bit a t the reason why they voted but that’s another story. 

I’m mad at the fact that you get a chance to say something relevant and you screw it, and you admit that you really don’t care, and that that’s the attitude that wins. An I really wish we lived in a world where we could just make music and nothing else matters, but I said I was performing that night in a private space that my friend owend: it was a closing show and that space is closing beacause it failed. and that spac e wanted to be a free art space just for art. so yeah, reality check. 

There is really a lot to say and this is so confuse but I have lots of things to do so I have to end this here. Feel free to send ask if you need anything to made more clear … but if this becomes an issue I’m gonna stop talking about it beacuse I care… but not that much. I think it is only one more result of a way bigger picture. 

thank you for reading.

[istvp]

Change of Decades

.

when it was the end of 2019 I was caught up on the ideas of decades and how I should start a new decade with a different approach putting to affect everything I've learnt in the past decade. when december reached its end and came into more realisation and understanding to how I was in this past decade (2010-2019)

and what I've learnt and done in those 10 years and how I came to be from the very begginging of 2010 till the end of 2019.

from dancing and learning english to the mentalist and being smarter than everybody else. from reading books and listening to older people and their experience and learning from everything I face and live.

from 2012 and learning about the Illuminati and the Freemasons till the moment of full understanding by watching Zeitgeist movies.

to learning about Jacque Fresco and learning about everything he says and downloading his videos and rewatching them all.

and the venus peoject and how its bettet than everything I had ever read about or hear about.

to 2013 and buying a laptop and watching even more videos. and droppening out of highschool and never going back. and the time on facebook and youtube.

then in 2014 and leaving my old house and moving to a new neighborhood. and then dealing with the aftermath of that and how reminiscent I became about my shit old room as I described it and my old town that I was so desperate to leave.

to then unsubscribing from the faith and religion and escaping my environment.

to then adopting a new diet and being labelled vegetarian in 2015, then losing my laptop later that year.

then having my first smartphone in january of 2016.

and at February I did my first dental surgery and remove my right wisdom tooth in qibla,

and having my fist offical job in Basra Times Square Mall. in February.

and then removing my left wisdom tooth later that month

only to go back to that mall in march and having my favorite job of all time almost as cashier in Texas chicken restaurant.

and then quitting that job for me to be jobless for alomst the entire year.

then ofcourse 2017 and how hot and sad she was

how summery and painful

from the death of Jacque Fresco in may

getting my first tattoo in may

then June of sadness

my 23rd June anf the time in the beach

the sad songs and all the jobs of that year.

then 2018 and getting back to the same mall and going more to see and speak with the beach.

till the end of it and meeting golden girl

and then 2019 and how fast it was and how wiser I became, with every cup of tea and beach visit with every summer and palm tree.

for the sad and .... very sad

for all the songs and every single person I spoke with. that I hurt or made them feel good

nice and mean.

for the start and the end.

for all the changes.

for me

.

it only brings me to saying what I wanna say about trying to make the New Year's Eve special

in December 31st 2019, where I went to have tea at my spot in ashar and then to the beach of rivers.

I saw that everyone didnt seem to care about the year ending and definitely did not care about the decade ending. (wich is ofcurse a good thing, its just another number)

the seemed ok with 2019 ending because of what was going on at that time and the massive Revolution and the protest that was going on at that time from october fisrt.

then I moved my way back to the place of the protest in Jibila Basra Iraq at 10pm at night.

I saw that they were doing all kinds of operation and grief about all the young peole who died in the protest and still were dying at that time.

it was both mixed with sadness and happiness

hope and despair

love and hate

.

so I stayed there and decided that I want to finish this decade there with the people (mostly males)

and I had more tea and I played chess and I took a lot of pictures for the end of this decade.

and it happened at 12am where the clock marked the beginning of the new decade/year

I filmed the fireworks and the happy yelling of people in the street and all the overwhelming feelings that I had for I did not beleive I was alive that whole past decade and now I can witness the change of decades and document it and filim it.

after 23 mintues almost everything calmed down and everybody was going back to their places and some went back to their tents and I head back to empty ashar and empty Basra.

I walked in my town for a about 16 minutes at 1:16 am in january 1st 2020 and everybody was asleep and they definitely did not care about this decade.

.

its only 3 days in this decade and already a lot has happened, from ww3 and the memes to how bad it was in Iraq and with the killings of young protesters.

and the death of Kobe Bryant and his daughter.

to china declaring the outbreak of (covid19)

novel coronavirus in Wuhan China.

then the days went on and I had some of my own things to do like

getting on a boat for the first time in the decade this one and the one before.

having a somewhat happy/cold winter birthday

.

and for the very first time in my life I had someone as the best winterbirthday party present from the universe to make me happy at January 26th.

.

and I started doing a lot of things that I didnt think I could do or even think about in the first place.

and as the days went on and as we know each other and as I deal with the firstness of all of this.

of her

of the year

of the decade

of me

.

I had my first date ever in my whole life in February 14th

Valentine's Day

and I kept liking this decade with all of its early problems and stayed very positive about everything and wanted to see a solution for everything.

the time started to move fast and so does the problems, the protest and the killings and the pandemic that was declared on march 2020 by the WHO.

and I was very observant to how people and government reacted to this and how Iraqis reacted to this compared to the rest of the world. and I monitored everything both online and in real life and saw how the system started to crumble. and I tryed to stay very smart with this situation this is my first time witnessing a pandemic.

.

how did we not see what was coming, how did we not think about it and had teams be prepared for it how did we came to be very negligent and so comfortable with this system and we are witnessing now is the failing of

Governments

Economics

Religions

to deal with this very new thing in our day and age.

we have been sleeping on these comfortable beds of phrases like

"we are more advanced than ever now"

" humans can survive in every condition"

"humans are civil and smart"

and you can see that this is not true if you look at the current state of people and how they are behaving the globe.

your trust in democracy did not work

your trust in politics did not work

Your dependence on the economy and money did not work

Your religion and God did not work

.

and as we continued the destruction of the environment in ourselves with our aberrant behaviour. and how we can all see now that we were not really civilised or smart.

and now you are witnessing the aftermath of we did to this planet and ourselves.

.

only one thing remains one thing that helped us all since the beginning of time.

Science and how wonderful it is and how its the only way out of this pandemic.

.

every other thing has abandoned you,

your politics, economics, democracy, Money

and God.

they have all prove to you that they are not worth your time and faith in them.

they are not worth your thoughts of them

and their ego that makes you a victim of being you.

.

you can see that science is the only way, its the music and the internet of this Quarantine

the shows and the food

the company of people that is provided by the help of science

and medicine and doctors that are by science helping humans survive.

the ventilators and the bed

the antibiotics

the solution

.

and as Im sitting in my balcony of gaze, looking at the town as it rains heavy on these muddy streets, thinking to myseld if this is what I had in my mind for the start of the decade?

I dont know what I had in mind when I was waiting for a new thing to happen in this decade.

it is a strange time and a strange feeling that I have when I see the state of the world and how surreal it is.

I have hope for this planet and for humans that they will come out of this smarter and better

I dont know if they will I would like to work for that and see that in the next months and years and decades.

a lot of people are behaving currently regarding this situation.

most are doing their absolute best at times like these.

and I can only do my small part of anything from writing to filming and documenting.

and to listening to experts and science.

to not make assumptions and judgements

and to stay hopeful for the days to come.

.

maybe it will be the start of end of this Monetary System.

and the beginning of

Resource Based Economy.