#wind instruments feel. weird to share when there’s no good way of deep cleaning them

[sweet-as-kiwis]

And so the Great Instrument Swap begins

[foulserpent]

nosleep mods deleted this for apparently not being a horror story. enjoy

My friend Ed is a bit of an outdoorsman. Not one of those hardcore 'two week hike hunting for food and sleeping in the dirt' types, but he does his share of hunting and camping. He and I got into it together when we met in community college and went on a weed-fueled camping trip over spring break, and since then he has far outgrown my own outdoor endeavors.

He's gotten some great stories to tell over the years. Finding a pair of souvenir Vegas dice in the stomach of a rabbit he was cleaning, getting hit by two skunks in a single day, close encounters with pumas and bears, and the far more harrowing and painful encounters with other hikers. But he's never come back with anything all that disturbing. Until his last trip.

Ed had been making an admirable effort of converting his 'spend the fall watching netflix and consuming pumpkin themed beverages' oriented boyfriend, Saúl, to some small game hunting. About a year ago, the two of them had taken a trip down south to do just that.

A few days into their week-long trip, I got a flurry of panicked texts from Saúl. It was all things like, "omg we just saw something so messed up" and "never going to the desert again LMAO there was a naked guy" or something to that effect.

I barely remember. I was bedridden with the worst case of the flu I'd ever experienced, and received these texts through a haze of fever and Nyquil. At that time, my response to those texts was more or less "Wow, hate when that happens :("

Neither of them provided elaboration upon their return, and I was a little too consumed in my own misery to ask for it. It was left at that.

Last week, Ed and I were practicing our usual 7 o'clock ritual of smoking behind the gas station during his break and complaining about the mere existence of customers. His mask was pulled down to his chin and he was fumbling with an entire cigar he'd brought to work, complaining about some customer who was shirtless in the middle of November and clearly blitzed out of his mind.

It was as he was describing the man's public indecency that I remembered the frantic texts I had received last fall.

"Hey, speaking of nudity...What was the story with the naked dude in the desert?" I asked him.

He cringed.

"From last year, on your trip?" I pressed.

"Yeah, I know, I know. God. Did Saúl text you?"

"Yeah, but he didn't give me the details of it."

Ed finished lighting the cigar, and took a long drag.

"Yeah, okay." He said. "I was honestly trying to forget about it but like. I don't know why Saúl was so stuck on the nudity like, that was the least messed up part of it all. It was the craziest thing."

It was the craziest thing is the set of words he would begin every particularly intriguing story with, and I realized I should probably settle in. I made myself comfortable against the dumpster in anticipation.

His story was as follows.

"So, yeah. We were out in the scrub. Technically weren't supposed to be there, we were a little ways off my aunt's land but like, there's no one to bug you about that out there. It was this kinda rocky area, lots of little hills and tall brush. So you couldn't see very far from the ground. And it was pretty well into the afternoon, and we hadn't caught a damn thing, so we were just kinda screwing around at that point. And we were near this bigass arroyo, and-"

He paused.

"Wait, you know what an arroyo is?" He asked me, taking another drag from his cigar.

I shook my head. He nodded solemnly at my midwestern ignorance.

“Okay, yeah. So it's a dry sorta riverbed in the desert. You ever seen a dried up creek? It's like that. They form when the rains come and are completely dry the rest of the year. And a lot of them are pretty small, but this one was like, a miniature canyon. Probably thirty feet across and ten feet deep. And it kind of winds around the hills before getting shallower when the elevation changes or whatever.

“So anyway we’re… yeah we’re there. The arroyo is on the other side of some rocks, and the open desert is in front of us. And we were sat down in the shade, having some beef jerky and stuff."

He paused again. He seemed to be lost in thought, eyes squinting and looking somewhere distant.

"So yeah, we're having a grand old time, just having a snack or whatever. And suddenly we hear screaming. Some guy’s screaming, ‘help! help me!’ out in the bush somewhere nearby.”

“And you know how Saúl is. Too much of a sweetheart for his own good. He's like nudging me and going "Eddie, we should go help." And yeah, sure, I wanted to help but there was something… Weird? About it? Like the shouting sounded real close but I wasn’t hearing anything else that, you know, accompanies a call for help. Like, no running, no sounds of struggling or being mauled by a wild animal or whatever. It was DEAD silent whenever the guy wasn't shouting.

"And like, call me an asshole but I'm not gonna do some ‘white person in a horror movie 'lets split up, gang!'’ shit. I was staying right where I was.”

"So we just kind of sat there, listening to it. The guy had started just- shrieking. No words, just making noise. And at this point I was starting to feel like a complete bastard for being the pragmatic one, but Saúl didn't seem to wanna move either. Like, it was super off.

"And then, there’s another sound. Kind of a…uh… Gurgling noise? Like-”

Ed broke off to make an odd sound in his throat. It was a low, prolonged croak that slowly lifted into a 'whoop!’

Some old woman in the process of fueling her SUV glared at him. He scowled back.

“Okay, it was actually nothing like that. But you get the idea.”

“And that happens a couple times, and it... It didn't sound like a person's voice anymore. And I'm thinking maybe the world's most fucked up coyote just killed a guy and was celebrating or whatever, but it didn't really sound like an animal either. It was kinda inorganic, you know what I mean?

"But yeah, it kind of whoops a couple more times, and then the last time it just... Didn't stop. It kept going, and it turns into this- music? It sounded, uh, sort of like a bunch of different flutes being played at once. But lower. Very deep. I don’t remember the tune so don’t ask. But it was music, and me and Saúl are just looking at each other like "what the fuck?”.

"And at that point, curiosity is kicking in and I'm gripped by this wave of idiocy, so I get up and start walking towards the sound. Low to the ground, super slow. Stealth. And I can tell it’s coming from the arroyo. So I just verrrrry carefully climb up the side and look inside.“

Ed paused to grasp for words.

"And there’s a man in there. Some pasty dude. Sunburnt, t-shirt tan lines, all that. Pretty scrawny, but otherwise normal looking from the chest down. No injuries or nothing, which I can say for sure because, yeah, the dude is completely naked. I mean naked. There was a pile of his clothes nearby, and his whole dick was out and he was barefoot. And he was DANCING. He’s just dancing naked in this friggin’ ditch.

"And it took me a bit to process what was going on with his head. Like, the music sounds are coming from up there. And I’m thinking he’s got some sort of weird instrument over his head, but he dances towards me and um. He has no head. Or like- Shit. He kind of has a head? Like I could sort of make it out, but it’s tilted all the way backwards. Like, touching his back. So his neck's facing the sky, and his eyes are just kind of staring out behind him.

"And there’s all these… tubes. Coming out of where the nose and mouth probably used to be. Big fleshy tubes, skin toned. But they didn't flop around, they were like, pretty firm. And they’ve got little holes all over them. And that’s where the music is coming from. He’s playing them.”

Ed lifted his arms over his head and mimed with his fingers. “Like a flute”

“So like, it’s the most fucked up thing I’ve ever seen, basically, but I can’t stop watching. And Saúl eventually comes up beside me, and we don’t say anything, we just watch this guy. It’s gotta be like… A solid hour we’re just sitting there, with this guy playing his music and dancing around. And he starts moving up the arroyo, still dancing the whole time, and eventually he’s out of sight. But we hear the music a good while longer until it gets too distant. I don't think he ever saw us. Or he didn't care. I don't know."

He was silent for a long while. I waited for him to continue, but it was evident that it was over.

"And... That was it?" I asked.

"Yeah, that was it. We got the hell out of there and didn't see him again. Or hear anything about a crazy nudist in the area."

He took another puff of his cigar, and coughed.

"I mean, it could have been... A really, really good costume or something. Like, REALLY good. I mean I definitely saw his eyes blinking. On the head that was... You know. Bent entirely backwards. But hey, could be a costume!" He added with a flourish, clearly not entertaining this possibility whatsoever.

"Holy shit." I said.

He laughed, and snuffed out his cigar in the snow. "Damn right."

[loudestsounds]

Top 50 Records of 2020

50- Melee by Dogleg

           You like some punk in your cereal? It’s a part of a healthy breakfast. Melee has something truly special here. It’s high octane when it needs to be while still maintaining precision and focus in the instrumentation and recording. Ultimately what’s compelling about the record is how frustrated everything sounds while still managing to maintain melody. It’s the sound of breaking shit to rhythm!

49- Grae by Moses Sumney

           A stunning and rich concoction of songs that leaves you bewildered. Moses Sumney has made something deeply personal while still inviting you inside. While the second half (which was released a few months apart from the first) tends to make the entire album feel a touch long-winded, the effort is well-executed and often breathtaking.

48- Fail to Be by Yashira

           This one snuck in at the last minute. A totally earth-shattering metal record that is determined to damage your dome permanently. There’s certainly a heavy dose of Converge influence all over the record, but Yashira manages to separate themselves from the pack with excellent song writing and unique choices. Production wise this record might be par for the course, but there are some nice little touches on tracks like The Weight and Amnesia that create wonderful depth.

47- Man on the Moon III by Kid Cudi

           I went into this thing with on giant sigh but left questioning whether I had accidentally pressed play on another album. Kid Cudi manages to pull something off! Cudi somehow takes inspiration from the genre that took inspiration from his own catalogue of music circa 2005. This is a terrific record to zone out to and let play out. Will this record rival some of the big stack bullies of hip hop? No. Cudi was never about that. He’s always been about mood and this is one moody son of a-! There are some clear skippable tracks (see: Elsie’s baby boy) but he also lands some excellent grooves on Solo Dolo, Pt. III, Lovin’ Me and Tequila Shots. While the record does suffer from overstaying its welcome with an 18 song track list—it manages not to take you out of the experience.

46- Whole New Mess by Angel Olsen

           WNM was poorly marketed as a distinct album, despite being essentially stripped back versions of 2019′s All Mirrors. Audiences were met with disappointment at having only two fresh songs to sample. The reality is it doesn’t fucking matter. Angel Olsen has done no wrong for her entire career. These songs can breathe in a ‘whole new’ way on this record and allow the listener greater insight while simultaneously haunting the walls of the record. Lark and Tonight (Without You) take on an entirely different life, and New Love Cassette feels like a different song entirely. Even Olsen’s scraps feel like fully realized ideas. Still—the title track steals the show, as we hear Olsen at her most desperate. Usually overwhelming the listener with her poise and sharp wit, Olsen promises that she’ll really do the change. She doesn’t have to change a thing.

45- Eastern Flowers by SVEN WUNDERS

           This one caught me off guard in the summer and I had it playing in the background of everything I was doing. Cleaning. Studying. Working. Eastern Flowers is middle eastern music made by Nordic people and I stopped trying to figure out how that happened a while ago. There is a lovely energy here, one that fuses traditional middle eastern melodies with funk embellishments. Eastern Flowers is just a really fun time.

44- The Archer by Alexandra Savior

           I had skipped Savior’s first record entirely before diving into the sophomore album. Going back, it’s clear that she has developed a great deal in the meantime. Despite Alex Turner producing the last one, the song writing takes the haunting details to whole new heights. Savior seems more confident in her voice, and also more willing to play with it in production (the ghostly tone on her voice in Soft Currents a testament). Savior separates herself from artists with a similar voice or who rest beside her within her genre, in how long she is willing to simmer within a song. These aren’t typical arrangements and it’s exciting to hear Savior throw you for a loop on songs like Howl and But You. We’re all excited for what lies next.

43- Push by Heads.

           Angry. Aggressive. Anxious. Push is a record that feels like the moments that build up before a massive protest. You are constantly pushed to the edge as the listener. There is a sinister element to the vocals that is deeply unsettling. Most songs slowly build with the promise of something bigger, instead reaching success simply by maintaining tension. Then there are songs like Weather Beaten and Nobody Moves & Everybody Talks that change the narrative, exploding into a punishing breakdown. Heads. Have something truly electric and angry on their hands here, and we’ll go along for the ride.

42- Indistinct Conversations by Land of Talk

           Many stripped-back and bare tracks on this one from Montreal’s own Land of Talk. It hits you about halfway through that the album is obsessed with loving one’s own history. Even when things have failed to work out, many songs suggest that we can only look back fondly. Opener Diaphonous warns I was caught up in the wrong stuff/ but I have to laugh. There are moments of greatness on this record, like the rushing movement of Look to You and the twangy riff of Footnotes—yet the marvel is in the consistent beauty, never wavering.

41- Are You Gone by Sarah Harmer

           A really soothing yet fun indie rock record that satisfies my craving for the music I loved as a teenager. There are some lovely arrangements and melodies from Harmer on this one, and while the mood is a touch sad, you’re happy you got to share in the emotion of it all. The album oscillates between more intimate moments and full-band jams, which create a nice balance—as if you’re moving in and out with the tide.

40- Circles by Mac Miller

           I was never the biggest Mac Miller fan. I wasn’t all that familiar with his catalogue before Swimming, and I perhaps made a point of listening to this posthumous release simply because he passed tragically. Still, the songs seem touched by his state, haunting the listener in combination with what we know ultimately happened to Mac. It’s a real shame it had to end like this, but if there was ever a gorgeous, captivating, and mature release to come at the end of a successful career cut short, Circles was it. 

39- Down to the Lowest Terms: The Soul Sessions by Steve Arrington

           Steve Arrington is back from his cryogenic freeze with a sick friggin’ soul album! These are fun, joyous and lived in gospel/soul tracks that play well in almost any setting. Play this bad boy with your friends, family and even around the office. Nobody will be disappointed. There are also some beautiful production touches that make this a great listen on headphones. Steve wants to tell you all about how funk is the way—and I think I believe him.

38- Atonement by exhalants.

           A fun ripper that makes you want to run up your walls and slam your fists on the floor. Atonement is not active listening per se, at least not in comparison to records released by their cohort, but it certainly puts you in a space that the band creates, dictates and commands. This is a band that has borrowed from others in the genre, but made that rare hardcore record that has just the right amount of hooks while maintaining space to catch ones breath.

37- Petals for Armor by Hayley Williams

           PFA had that multiple EP release thing that a few artists did this year (see: Dirty Projectors). Ultimately the entire project suffered from a touch of bloat—but the incredible songs were spread out enough on this album, that it had to make my list. There are incredible production choices on this record, and it clearly was a labour of love for Williams. The songs are a bit rigid in the vein of Annie Clark, but Williams has a freedom to her vocals that liberates them. I think a more refined 10 track album may have cracked my top 20. Songs like Taken and My Friend don’t seem to have a real purpose on the record other than just being half-baked mood tracks, but they don’t tarnish the effect that songs like Simmer, Over Yet or Sugar on the Rim have on the listener.

36- Farewell to All we Know by Matt Elliott

           Farewell is a collection of the creepiest, saddest and most beautiful songs you’ve ever heard. I don’t usually stray down this path but this is an album that works so well when reading or writing. There is some beautiful poetry on the darkness of the world and the last hopes for mankind. What sets the record apart lays in the details. The haunting echoes of the city streets. The whisper of ghosts that drag behind Elliott’s guitar. The record establishes incredible mood, inviting you in for a glass of despair.

35- Polysomn by Kairon; IRSE!

           My head hurts just trying to write about this record. It’s weird, heavy, melodic. The vocals feel unique to the genre while used sparingly. There is a lot of interesting synth play on this record that might invite listeners outside of the genre—but that also add depth and feeling to songs that otherwise might feel like trudges through metal music mud. Polysomn is filled with exciting, dynamic elements that are a good entrance into “weird, heavy music” for you listeners out there. I won’t pretend to know how this band does what it does any longer. Just enjoy.

34- Impossible Weight by Deep Sea Diver

           Frankly, the record is difficult to talk about without making it seem like it sounds like basically all of its contemporaries. In fairness, Deep Sea Diver shares a lot of commonality with the likes of Weyes Blood, Broken Social Scene, Sharon Van Etten (who even features on the title track). That said, everything sounds great on this record. The songs are tight, the melodies hang effortlessly and the vibes are…vibes. There are a ton of interesting choices, from the weird arrangements on Hurricane, reminiscent of Wolf Parade- to the videogame synths on Lightning Bolts. It never gets tired or boring—it just stands as an excellent indie pop/rock record that you can play at your board game night.

33- When I Die, Will I Get Better? by SVALBARD

           Equal parts mathy, metal, prog, emo and god knows what. This album has an intense feel to it that will have you uplifted as you thrash around your apartment. The momentum of these songs truly amazes, as we’re taken for an absolutely blistering ride on almost every track. Nonetheless, the songs find a way to breathe, unlike most of their contemporaries that leave you exhausted by the twenty minute mark. SVALBARD also has an ear for melody that fights typical metal fatigue. I won’t get tired of listening to this one.

32- Silver Tongue by TORRES

           After the bizarre, cryptic disappointment of Three Futures, it didn’t seem clear where TORRES would head. On Silver Tongue she appears to continue a confident journey in her own direction, but with a bit more focus and lot more precision. Where Three Futures was too disorienting to follow and often too indulgent for the listener to feel at all involved, Silver Tongue extends an olive branch—grab hold and you’ll be taken on a strange, glitchy and melodic journey into psychedelic pop rock. While the songs lack warmth, that seems to be the point entirely. There’s a magic in the cold and dreary walls that TORRES builds on the record that impresses with every subsequent listen.

31- The Baby by Samia

           A tremendous indie-rock record with some of the most excitement build-ups and hooks of anything released in 2020. Samia sings about some of the bleak realities of sexual frivolity in one’s twenties, while still somehow gloating about her vinegar and kale diets (all tongue in cheek). There are clear standout tracks (Big Wheel, Fit n Full, Minnesota) – but where Samia shines, and where she separates herself from her cohort of indie rock darlings (see: Soccer Mommy, Snail Mail, Clairo) is how well her slower ballads, such as Does not Heal, land. She is a superior song writer in many respects and has everything ahead of her.

30- Live Forever by Bartees Strange

           A very surreal, genre bending record from newcomer Bartees Strange. Live Forever sounds like totally different music depending on which track you’re on. You have some Death Cab. You have some Bon Iver. You have some Joey Badass? It’s a strange journey through an eclectic, cluttered and heavily talented musical mind.

29- The Ascension by Sufjan Stevens

           While the record as a whole underwhelmed me, Sufjan is still Sufjan. If this record was made by any other artist I’d be telling everyone about it. Many of the sounds felt a bit too familiar, which put me off just a touch. There are still unbelievable moments on this record: the layers on Make Me an Offer/ the dance-pop qualities of Video Game/ the swelling choir section of Tell Me You Love Me/ the build up of tension in The Ascension. There are the more confounding moments: Death Star as a song and not as parody/ Sugar as a slapstick suggestion of romance. Frankly I’m not all that blown away by the lead single, and nearly 13 minute odyssey, America—but I can understand how it operates as a statement of frustration and raw emotion. Nonetheless, Sufjan continues to occupy a space that, while at times mystifying, still leaves you entranced by the mystique of it all. We always leave wanting more, even if we’ve had a bit too much.

28- Set My Heart on Fire Immediately by Perfume Genius

           A gorgeous and lush assembly of songs that feel very personal to PG. The songs are grand, yet surprisingly intimate. One frustration with the songs that I’m still struggling to come to terms with, is that they seem very distant from the listener. We’re not invited into the experiences that the songs discuss—they seem isolated and tethered to the artist. That was likely a conscious decision and suits the subject matter well. Still, for all the warmth and atmosphere—you wish you could go along for the ride. Perfume Genius seems content on operating on their own planet—as we listen through frequency.

27- Future Nostalgia by Dua Lipa

           This was certainly the year of Dua. She seems to have realized her final form and it’s truly a great thing to witness and listen to. Future Nostalgia plays out as an exceptional throwback pop record in a pop era dominated by future/hyper industrial production. These songs are poppy and unashamed to be exactly what they are. With the exception of the clumsy songs that bookend the record (the title track is a lacklustre open & Boys Will Be Boys attempts to tie in a loose, feminist concept to the record)—the album as a whole is jam packed with immense hooks. Let’s hope Dua hasn’t peaked because there is so much to love and groove to on this record.

26- KG by King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard

           Another instalment of the King Gizzard microtonal series. Unlike Flying Microtonal Banana, KG tends to hit harder and land smoother. There is a ton of groove on this bad boy that gets you comfortably settled, until the boys shake it up with some eclectic, middle east inspired arrangement. The beauty of KG is how you are never allowed to settle into something for too long. You’re almost always moving on to another segment, idea and branch of music that makes you feel...weird. Thanks guys!

25- Quelle by BRIQUEVILLE

           A haunting, drone fuelled romp in the spooky room. Quelle almost puts you to sleep until it urgently shakes you awake with a thunderous riff. It’s clear that every moment of the record is laboured over, every decision painstakingly made. There are moments taken straight out of your favorite horror film, yet the album manages to pull you in closer instead of pushing you away. Bold choices pay off for BRIQUEVILLE on this one, as we enter their world, and almost don’t manage to make it out.

24- Lianne La Havas S/T

           LLH self titles a record that sees her reaching back to a more stripped down, jam-based sound. There are some absolute bleeders on here that see her voice reaching registers she hasn’t covered on previous releases. The live-band recording works in her favor, as the instrumentation is loose enough to create a mood but still manages to quickly snap back to tight and precise progressions. Anchored by a well-executed Radiohead cover (Weird Fishes) the record has a strong b-side to match its grand opening half. The hypnotic qualities of many of the tracks are an especially fun element to the release as the jams tend to work you up wherever you are. La Havas has something very special on her hands with this record, and it’s one I will continue to share for years to come.

23- Omens by Elder

           A softer and, dare I say, poppier release from stoner rock fiends Elder was a welcome addition to music in 2020. There are many long form jams on this record that open themselves up to synths—and while it seems they haven’t totally mastered how to integrate more electronic segments into their riffage, the moods are still tight as hell. Give it a spin with some decent headphones and you won’t be disappointed.

22- Miss Anthropocene by Grimes

           You can try as hard as you’d like to root against Grimes but her music speaks for itself. I looked for ways to tell myself that she had finally waned or has become less inspired—but it’s just not true—she is finely tuned to whatever wavelength is firing on her alien planet. On MA the songs have more space to breathe, often meandering within themselves for over six minutes, until she hits you with a straightforward pop rock track that is so well produced and contains such a great vocal performance, that you simply cannot deny that we have yet another excellent release. It’s freaky, it’s haunting, it’s weird, and at times it’s even pleasurably comic. Grimes is doing it all and she is doing it on exactly her terms. We should expect nothing less.

21- Rough and Rowdy Ways by Bob Dylan

           I won’t pretend to be an expert on Bob Dylan’s catalogue. Nor will I pretend that I know what makes Bob Dylan good or bad. All I know is that Rough and Rowdy ways has great songs that back beautiful poetry. It’s consistently captivating and often, terribly sad. The final track, Murder Most Foul, may be one of the most potent, historical epics ever put to music. All in all, Bob Dylan has something deeply interesting to add to our weird, chaotic, and just plain shitty times.

20- Superstar by Caroline Rose

           The last show I went to was the album release of this record and it absolutely killed. Playing the record front to back, Caroline Rose will always be the pre-pandemic gig that symbolized the lightning before the thunder. Superstar is an excellent concept album about a fictionalized Caroline travelling across country with hopes of become…well… a superstar. Along the way she tosses and turns in a relationship, eviscerates doubt and self-loathing by replacing it with boisterous egotism, and manages to find herself at a finish line exhausted, and yet surprisingly having still learned something. The tracks on this record blend seamlessly into one another as Rose manages to coalesce the synth-rock madness we are used to with tighter song writing and more lyrical purpose. Caroline Rose may have just ended up what she wanted to be along.

19- The New Abnormal by The Strokes

           Everybody talks about a timeless quality that The Strokes early records have and it seems every record they have made since their first two have been made with the purpose of dispelling that very notion. The fact of the matter is, that timeless quality is what has endeared them to fans for two decades. The New Abnormal recaptures their earlier spirit. Sure, there are indulgent nods to the 80s that they seem obsessed with (sometimes to a fault)—with songs like Brooklyn Bridge to Chorus and Eternal Summer. Those songs likely work better in front of a crowd, and tend to actually crowd the record itself. Yet, there is no denying that there are excellent STROKES SONGS on this record that make you feel the way you felt listening to their first two records. The Adults are Talking is an immediate entrance into what made you love them to begin with, and Selfless follows as one of their prettiest ‘ballads’. Not the Same Anymore and Ode to the Mets close the record on an extremely high note, harkening back to the warmth of Room on Fire, with more mature and independent song structures. The true testament to the band’s growth is with their first single At the Door—which is an epic that ebbs and flows through wild croons and jagged synths, asking you to sit down and believe in the song itself. It’s as if The Strokes have been asking us to simply trust them all along.

18- UNLOCKED by Denzel Curry and Kenny Beats

           This is exactly it. Two masters collaborating in what might be their respective primes. It’s so packed, saturated, concentrated, condensed it almost seems like if it were any longer it would make our heads explode. They found the hip hop secret and managed to unlock it for us. While this may qualify as an EP it is an album’s worth of brilliance. It slaps from beginning to end with Kenny Beats saving his best instrumentals that masquerade as demos. Don’t get me wrong—these are brilliant templates for Denzel to cruise along to. Except Denzel does nothing close to cruising, he sets the road on goddamn fire. While Denzel is namedropping Rosa Parks and Don Corleone while recommending his haters go on a diet, he is playful in the same way Joe Pesci was playful in Goodfellas. With every subsequent verse Denzel is requiring that you answer the question: i’m funny how? You are certainly no clown! We swear!

17- NO DREAM by Jeff Rosenstock

           NO DREAM friggin’ rules dude! It took a bunch of listens for me to get the hang of it. I especially felt resistant to the opening track and how the record begins by pummelling you with punk chords—but that’s where Rosenstock is, so you just have to take it. NO DREAM is about giving up on settling for less. Rosenstock yells about hometown washouts, he yells about road trips, he yells about dopes who don’t believe in climate change. But you really feel something once Rosenstock starts to regret some of those lost loves. Maybe he could have behaved. Maybe he reacted too quickly. Maybe he made choices he never thought he’d make. Haven’t we all thought that? NO DREAM is a masterful punk rock record that maintains goofy, crazy, hilarious and fun traits that all good punk records need while providing us with heart that Rosenstock has never shown us before.

16- We Will Always Love You by The Avalanches

           Well, they did it again and snuck in there at the final hour. The Avalanches’ third record is a groovy, cold weather house record, bookended by some sort of intergalactic nonsense. Ultimately, the nothingness means everything, as there is an incredible amount of feeling that rests in the pieced together samples. Features from MGMT, Kurt Vile, Leon Bridges, Denzel Curry and even Rivers Cuomo only add to the madness. While the run-time is a bit long, the songs are quick enough to carry you through swiftly on your back. The Avalanches have once again offered us hypnotic, dream-like listening, perhaps when we needed it most.

15- Punisher by Phoebe Bridgers

           Bridgers has this very special quality about her song writing, where it feels like she’s pulling you close to tell you something and then whispers into your ear a secret that you knew all along. She then pats you on the shoulder, nods her head, and says good luck- all with a smirk.  Bridgers has secrets we don’t have, and that’s what makes her music equal parts haunting and gorgeous. The melodies on Punisher remain in your head for months and while they are deadly serious they also reassure you with a “hey, you know this is just a song, right?”. Songs like Chinese Satellite offer more complex arrangements that are made full (but not heavy!) with string section embellishments. Halloween is the small town folk song about a place you just had to be there to understand. Graceland Too offers a nice release from the shadows that loom all over the record, although it’s never in too much sunlight to become a distraction. The entire album flows effortlessly, and before you know it you’ve reached the breathy scream and laughter at the end of epic closer I Know The End. Life is a game that Phoebe Bridgers is watching us all take bets on. She’ll remind us how it all played out later.

14- Find the Sun by Deradoorian

           These songs are odd, cyclical, hypnotic. The vocals are static and often emotionless. Find the Sun is a masterpiece taken directly from 1972—but thank god it was here to lull us into paralysis in 2020. None of the songs are direct injections, instead they are slow-release capsules that require you to take your time. Opener Red Den has a standard song structure (an anomaly), but still has a haunting, looping chorus that is interpolated with a second chorus that rests three levels lower. Perhaps the most direct track is almost impossible to describe. These songs are riddles or rubix cubes or those goddamn magic eye paintings that you have to look at for three hours to make out a boat (I see you, Mallrats). Deradoorian crafts an album that, despite requiring a certain degree of passive effort (huh?), still goes down smooth. Although clearly inspired by CAN, there is nothing frustrating here that forces you to concede that “maybe art doesn’t need to be understood, man”. This is a gorgeously pieced together album of psych/folk/rock that has earned its place on the mantle.

13- What’s Your Pleasure by Jessie Ware

           A dangerously good pop record that throws you back to the 80s with disco inspired flourishes. Some parts Robyn, some parts Madonna. Jessie Ware has a sound that grows past merely reproducing the music that has inspired her. There are curious and inventive details in songs (like the chorus in Ooh La La or the harmonized layers in the verses of The Kill). The songs take you to groovy heights with their detail, but the record also has some straightforward, power thru dance tracks like Read My Lips that anchor it, never letting you forget that this was meant to be danced to with others. What’s Your Pleasure is a beautifully woven pop masterpiece that never lets you go.

12- Down in the Weeds, Where the World Once Was by Bright Eyes

           Bright eyes is back. This record is an exciting return for the band, one that captures the misery and mysticism that surrounds our age of impending doom. Got to keep on going like it ain’t the end/ got to change like your life is depending on it-- is the first verse we hear from Conor and he never truly lets go of the sentiment. All the tracks are haunted by his past, the bleak world we live in, and the thought of trying to work out a way to make it through the days that feel like years. Down in the Weeds comes out after nine years away from the band, time Conor spent getting married and divorced, and sadly also losing his brother. These happenings find themselves scattered all over the record, as Conor is hesitant to reference them directly, but instead allows them to haunt tracks like ghosts. The instrumentation from Mogis and Walcott is fuller than other Bright Eyes records, the sounds more diverse. If someone asked what Bright Eyes sounds like one could legitimately offer this record as evidence—it is a distillation of many sounds across their entire catalogue. Ultimately what Down in the Weeds does best is remind us that the will to continue through the world is what makes us distinctly human, but also what makes us closer to something greater, something beyond everything. She doesn’t know what a comet does/ you’re approaching as you disappear-- is what we hear on the closing track Comet Song. Bright Eyes brings us closer to a truth we always knew would be just out of reach.

11- Death by Coastlands

           Aptly named, Death is a record about endings. Heart wrenching, devastating, finite and yet oddly satisfying endings. There are very sparing vocals on the record, but the instrumentation offers more feeling than any hardcore record this year. The pacing of songs like Dead Friends, the haunting choir that looms over Marrow, or the breaking of tensions that erupts out of Red Smoke Flare. This record doesn’t need words to evoke feelings of peril, urgency and grief.

10- Songs by Adrianne Lenker

           On not a lot, just forever, Adriane Lenker sings and I want to be your wife/so I hold you to my knife. This line arrives as plea instead of a threat—on an album filled with songs where Lenker reckons with her desperation. She pleas with the past for lost time returned, she pleas with her lovers for mistake forgiven, she pleas with herself for the possibility of change. When added to her catalogue with Big Thief, Songs proves that Adrianne Lenker may be the supreme song writer of our generation. On Anything she describes staring down the barrel of a hot sun as if the imagery were a familiar expression. Lenker tosses poetry at us like she might throw a frisbee. Even if we were positioned well enough to catch it, we could never throw it back, we are lucky to have it all.

09- Host by Cults

           Host didn’t feel like much on my first listen. But it kept burrowing endlessly into my brain. Now I’m waking up in the middle of the night singing the melodies on my way to go pee (No Risk! No Believing! Or Leading...). They nailed all of it. The song writing is crisp. The production is electric and soothing. They lull you to a peaceful calm with lullaby sounding tracks like No Risk. When things are just about to get repetitive they shake you out of your dream state (see: Like I Do). Every track on the record is a standout, but it can only truly be appreciated as one complete, masterful piece of music.

08- how I’m feeling now by Charli XCX

           Sure—it’s a bit of a pandemic time capsule. But holy shit. Charli made this absolute batshit hyperpop record in a month during lockdown. It is truly an unrelenting pinnacle of future pop that will hold up long past this absolute shit show of an era has passed. Charli has this way of making an unsettling listening experience that is also absurdly danceable. There are moments of insane pleasure, unhinged anxiety and bombastic ecstasy. From the promise of once again being together in forever to the claustrophobic realities of quarantine in enemy she covers the entire experience.  These songs really stand alone as brilliant testaments to Charli’s prowess. There is no stopping her as an artist at this point. Oh, and she also did us a tremendous solid by making a danceable record about how we miss dancing together. God bless you Charli, baby.

07- Ohms by Deftones

           This year needed this record. Something loud and clear as hard rock punishment. Deftones have what I believe to be their best record. Their sound has never been more crisp, focused or melodic. There are definitely new areas that Deftones explore on this record. From Spell of Mathematics to the title track—there’s a sharp attitude that plunges into their already excellent formula. The little details and flourishes of synth in songs like Genesis and Pompeji make all the difference (the latter’s transition into This Link Is Dead a clear standout)—allowing the record to breath and the listener to feel overwhelmed with, might I say, the world they have created. The album is full of beautiful moments of focus that keep the tension the band has built and cultivated for over a decade.

06- Fetch the Bolt Cutters by Fiona Apple

           Fetch the Bolt Cutters is a record that maybe wasn’t for me at all. I firmly believe that women understand more of this record than I ever could. There’s so much brilliance in the pots and pans percussion that accompanies most tracks. There’s an energy that studio drums could never bring. And well, the songwriting speaks for itself. It’s an undeniable culmination of all of her influences. Fiona Apple is a songwriter that simply doesn’t exist anymore (some of her cohort has actually, sadly, died).

The most valuable lesson Fiona teaches us is that there is no perfect way to get over anything. But we are meant to wrestle with endings. Maybe we are all meant to move on. Making friends, sneering at enemies. Like beasts in the wild. Life might be one big game of axis and allies. Like Fiona walking on her way to school, we “grind our teeth to a rhythm invisible”. This record proves that we should each bring our mouthguard.

05- Every Bad by Porridge Radio

           Every Bad is the room that your loneliness goes inside of to scream. Porridge Radio has an absolute masterpiece on their hands. Absolutely punishing lines that carve away your own anxiety with excellent songs that switch things around constantly. There isn’t a single stale song on the record and yet they work so cohesively. Every Bad is constantly asking us to self-examine, to dig a little deeper. What is going on with me? Is the first lyric you hear on the record. I’m coming home is the last. The record spans the cycle of existential dread guiding you through difficult choices and it could not have come at a better time.

04- St. Cloud by Waxahatchee

           I think I like Americana music. I probably knew that when I couldn’t resist the sing-along qualities of Killers records like Sam’s Town or Battle Born—but Crutchfield’s 2020 record has solidified for me. The writing here is too good to be true. Equal parts poetry and melody, her voice has this raw quality that really carries home when she plays up the southern twangs and drawls. The album feels obsessed with new beginnings after brutal endings. Hometowns on fire and the power of choosing to move on. The lyrics still feel haunted by the weight of memory (St. Cloud), and the anxiety surrounding what might come next (Ruby Falls), but the fresh approach to song writing has Waxahatchee sounding the best they ever have.

03- RTJ 4 by Run the Jewels

           They did it again. Not much to say here. It never gets old and it never feels stale. The records still feel like their own distinct hip-hop manifestos. The boys seems just as angry as they always did. The album arrived in the midst of a revolutionary cloud that hung over the world. The album is proof that we should expect it to remain overcast. The production on this thing is just as sleek, with El-P switching things up in bold ways on tracks like Goonies vs. ET. Some of the older tricks are used again, we have our comedown track with Pulling the Pin, we have our rock sample track with The Ground Below, we have our standout single with Ooh La La. The predictability of these songs may sound as if the album is formulaic but that’s beside the point. The fist will still knock your ass down, even if you knew it was coming. A truly loving element to the record is the bond that Killer Mike and El-P foster with each other through their alter-ego characters Yankee and The Brave- you can’t help but bask in their romance. The opening track is a blunt reminder that, in case you forgot, these guys are still here for another eleven rounds. The closing track solidifies the truth that they aren’t going anywhere, not anytime soon. And nor should they. We need Run the Jewels more than ever.

02- Captured Spirits by Mammal Hands

           Mammal Hands came out of nowhere and blew my goddamn mind. I have no deep connection with Jazz as a genre, but by god did this record force me to go digging. It’s the type of accessible, energy driven music that makes you cozy and comfortable until it rips your goddamn ears off with sax solos and manic piano arrangements. While the latter half of the record doesn’t manage to match quite the same energy as first half standouts like Late Bloomer or Riddle—the beauty of the record is in its assured sense of pace. We’ll get to the good part, but on their time. Mammal Hands know what they’re doing.

01- Women in Music Pt. III by HAIM

HAIM have found, executed, and perfected their sound all in one album. WIMPIII is a masterwork that shockingly happened all at once. Where previous albums Days Are Gone and Something To Tell You may have excited with the promise of what could come next, this record stuns you with what is happening right before your eyes. The confidence that the sisters share on the album’s cover shines through on all the tracks. They know who they are and they know how they sound. I Know Alone is a perfect example of refined song writing, with subtle production touches (especially in the percussion) that add something extraordinarily dynamic. Up From A Dream and Gasoline are the pure rockers that you knew the band was capable of, but that they never before capitalized on. There are softer, more romantic folk tracks like The Steps and Leaning on You that might make your parents cry. Spanning a wide range of topics (depression, lost loves, home, isolation) the album fit so perfectly with our insane year—but the sound, summery and sheen, will manage to stand the test of time. There was initial frustration with the choice not to include singles Now I’m In It, Hallelujah & Summer Girl within the formal track list (because on any record they are the strongest songs!)—but with further consideration, their inclusion as bonus tracks make perfect sense. HAIM has crafted 13 gorgeous, smart and powerful songs that stand alone, together. Those bonus tracks just act as a mind-blowing encore. Women in Music Pt. III is the most dynamic, focused and well-written record of 2020. We dare not ask for better.

[humble-wayside-flower]

“Watching, Potential, Learn, Grow, Provoke, Consume, Reward, Patience”

(Spotify Link x)

Episodes 1 - 30 

Shoulders Back- Honest Men (On the open ocean he is welcome, he is free, he is comfortable. It is his first and only real home.)

Shoulders back Blades together Chest held high Free forever Dominion is never ending Kingdom come a new beginning

Randy Dandy Oh- Assassins Creed 4 (Out to sea they go. A simple merchant trade run, business as usual)

Now we are ready to sail for the Horn Weigh hey, roll and go! Our boots and our clothes, boys, are all in the pawn To be rollicking randy dandy-O!

That Sea, The Gambler- Gregory Alan Isakov (Every trip is a gamble, a hand they willingly play, but this venture was cursed from the beginning)

Cursed your captain and stow me below Hole me amongst all your cards Oh we were sea bound, and aimless at best Clutching to the wheel and those charts But that sea was just a gambler at heart

Notos- The Oh Hellos (The storm rolls in, but it is an explosion in the night that brings the ship down, and Fjord with it)

And every word you shouldn't say Will come bubbling out of your throat But you've got no one left to blame For the things you lost to the winds of Notos

Under the Water- AURORA (Drowning. The glowing eye of an alien god. Fjord catches the attention of an ancient entity)

So many souls, that lost control Where did they fall? Into the deep, what do they seek? Where did they fall? Where did they fall?

Sea Tune- Elephant Sessions (Washed up on shore, he wakes with no memories of an deal struck. He makes his way back to Port Damali, and upon arriving trades the storm for a hurricane named Jester)

Instrumental

SeagullxEagle- Tall Tall Trees (Together they make their way up north to the empire, kindred opposites)

When we’re together, birds of a feather I make you lazy, you keep me sharp There’s not escaping the love that’s forsaken Why must we fake them when he knew from the start!

Running from My Savior- Wolfie’s Just Fine (It is unclear if he is trying to convince himself or others that he is not running from anything. Perhaps both.)

Stampin at my feet Try to catch my breath And the memories The fire in my chest Running from my savior I'm in danger But I'm not afraid because I am god

I Can’t Tell My Secret Weapon- Chessboxer (The events of Trostenwald)

Instrumental

Blood On My Name- The Brothers Bright (On the open road from Trostenwald to Alfield he dreams, drowning again in his sleep, meeting again, an mysterious force that speaks, consume, learn, grow, potential)

There's a reckonin' a-comin' And it burns beyond the grave Lead inside my belly 'cause my soul has lost its way Oh, Lazarus How did your debts get paid? Oh, Lazarus Were you so afraid?

I’m Okay- Honest Men (Again, he tries his best to convince the others that he is fine, a poor effort to convince himself in the process)

Outside polished clean A good degree, a movie screen, commercial But to my defeat My mind’s a mess, the guilty stress, impress you My philosophy Is that the more I give the more you see what I do Tell me I’m alright

Silence- Marshmello, Khalid (A life spent fighting, a comfort gained then lost. Fjord’s life has never been smooth, but he does his best to make peace with it)

Yeah, I'd rather be a lover than a fighter (fighter) 'Cause all my life, I've been fighting Never felt a feeling of comfort All this time, I've been hiding And I never had someone to call my own, oh nah I'm so used to sharing Love only left me alone But I'm at one with the silence

I’m Always Walking as Somebody Else- American Murder Song (He has always been good with accents, with changing his gait, his posture, his appearance. His life has been a practice in observance and alteration. Again he dreams, of swords, and wakes to blood)

Pull down my sleeve, bury my flag Whistle for a stranger, one two three bang! One two three bang! Shaved off my knot But not this vest I am a survivor West young man west West young man west West young man west I'm always walking as somebody else

Ditchdigger- Tyler Lyle (The Nein are nothing like he has ever known before, but he appreciates them for all they are and do. For the first time in a long time, he finds himself comfortable)

I choose my eyes wide open And my heart half-broken every time Over the gilded golden shackle And the reassuring sentimental lie I’ve seen the rolling meadows And the cruelest ghettos in this town. I know the baker and the undertaker And the girl with the stars on her gown.

Here I Stand- The Ballroom Thieves (He wasn’t watching, wasn’t listening hard enough. It was his fault, he knows it was, is, will be. With nothing to offer he bargains with an unfeeling god that they’ll get out of this, even if he doesn’t)

Well, I've said it before My hands have been holding the door I am heavy of heart, I am not in control Lord, forgive me, I'm bargaining Fervor for stones, singing Oh

Glendale- Clans (Post-rescue. The guilt sets in. The rest of them, they try to tell him that it isn’t his fault, but he can’t believe them, not really. He wouldn’t blame them, even if he does himself)

I won’t die this way, Got a broken heart ‘bout ready to escape And a mouth full of bitterness I can taste it still I wonder if you hate me now… And this is the end of us, the end of us I swear, you are it

The Ocean- Dar Williams (Heading towards the Menagerie Coast. A weird mix of emotions for the place he grew up, that swallowed him whole, and gave him a shelter, and spat him back out again. He wonders if it will welcome him back as he does it, but he is happy for Jester)

I went back to the ocean today With my books and my papers I went to the rocks by the ocean But the weather changed quickly, oh the ocean said “What are you trying to find, I don’t care, I’m not kind I’ve bludgeoned your sailors, I’ve spat out their keepsakes Oh it’s ashes to ashes, but always the ocean,” But the ocean can’t come to this town, this town is a song about you

Sea Legs- The Ballroom Thieves (Growing pains. The exploration of passages long shuttered, of scars long healed. He searches for himself, and comes out stronger for it)

A dark night at sea And no one but me To hold on to these old sails Who's steering this ship Oh, and where is the rest of it Still homesick for a foreign harbor

Moving Forward- Colony House (An exercise in moving forward, this time not alone. For once, Fjord is really, truly happy. Whatever comes their way, he can face it)

I found life and I found laughter In forgiveness, I found rest On the shoulders of redemption I found hope when hope was dead I could lose it in a moment So I dare not close my eyes I'll watch fear fall with the sunset And see hope rise with the tide And when the pain is true Sometimes these troubles prove that I'm alive

[kote-the-inn-keeper]

Kvothe x Tempi for anon

“Tempi,” Kvothe said, glancing to the man in red next to him, “I have a question or two... if you don’t mind.” He looked ahead once more to the long and quiet road. 

It had been that way for about a day of travel, no horses or wagon to join them on their travel up the mountain side. He had been told only the two of them were allowed to make their way up and to wherever Tempi lived. Dirt and rocky roads, sometimes steep and open to the harsh winds that blew through the rocky landscape. He had yet to see trees for some time, the forest far behind them, replaced by bolder and sheer cliffs. Grasses and wild plants did grow all over, whipped around by the winds, giving some color to the earthy road. 

Tempi didn’t respond, looking ahead and keeping pace evenly. As always. He had a hand near his blade, the other limp along his side. 

“Well, I’m going to ask, and you can answer when you think about it.” Kvothe said, “Alright?”

Nothing. Not even a nod.

Huffing in a bit of irritation to the silence, the red head continued. “I still don’t understand why you have to be so quiet and only speak with hands. It doesn’t seem to have the same... meaning to it. No emotion. No clear communication. Doesn’t being silent all the time get, I don’t know, scary? Annoying? Lonely? I couldn’t imagine being silent all time time. There are times and places for silence; not always. Doesn’t that bother you to be so quiet?” He waited to see if Tempi would reply.

He got a small glance, grey eyes tracking him for only a second, before looking ahead once more.

“Nothing. Okay. Well,” Kvothe said, a twinge of annoyance in his voice, “I don’t get a lot of the vague things you have told me. You don’t make much sense, and everything seems so contradictory. It’s all yes but no, and no but yes, or maybe. I don’t know if that’s because I’m not part of your society or anything else. It’s just... Weird. It feels odd not to be able to... you know... hold hands or touch people or speak to them. Which leads more into my first question. Why is it that human contact is so taboo to you?”

Again, nothing.

Kvothe groaned and slowed his walk in defiance, crossing his arms and annoyed. While he had said that Tempi could answer later, he figured Tempi would have been more open to speak since it was just the two of them. He had talked to Tempi before, one on one, so it was confusing for him not to be speaking when they two were actually away from other people. At first he had thought that the talking was a shy, or nervous, type of ordeal with so many people. But, a few weeks ago when he had been told about the talking being something that was done very little, it had taken him aback. Only half as much as being told music wasn’t anything that was allowed and was considered extremely intimate. The thought of both actions being intimate and not openly allowed horrified him. A world in which music wasn’t allowed? Where words were not openly and always spoken? Kvothe felt like he was going to just implode with the mere idea of a place in the world.

Of course, Kvothe was dramatic and very on sided on the subject. On top of not having a load of insight on the Adem life style. He had met one and one only, and had only heard stories about the mercenaries from his childhood. So it wasn’t as though it were his fault on all the misunderstandings and not quite comprehending the lifestyle of someone who wasn’t sharing. Then again, it didn't seem like the Adem were well known or even spoken about to the general public. He was just trying his best to understand Tempi with the bit of information he had on hand and was given. Which, barely got him anywhere as one could imagine. 

The walk became silent once more, the next few hours continuing up the road were slow and uneventful. The sun slowly began to set over the far mountains, the air growing colder rather quickly. The two wandered as far as possible before having to find a place to settle down and rest for the night. Well, for Kvothe to set up for the night. Tempi set his bag and things down, starting his usual routine of Ketan a few feet from where camp was being placed. 

“Don’t worry Kvothe, I’ll help you with camp. Oh, thank you Tempi, that is so wonderful of you.” Kvothe mocked a quiet conversation to himself. He continued to mutter at himself for a good while, getting a fire started with a bit of help with some sympathy and getting food to cook. Looking over to see if Tempi walked away, he groaned as the Adem had ventured off. Most likely to wash himself again for the day, rather than gathering wood from wherever it could be. “Oh, great.” He hissed.

Tempi arrived to the camp once the food was just about done cooking, fully clothes and seating himself on a medium sized rock near the fire. He sat quietly and watched the fire, before his attention shifted towards Kvothe moving around the fire.

Kvothe eventually say, wiping his sleeve across his brow and giving a heavy sigh. “There you are. You’re welcome, by the way. I did all the work. Again.”

“...I did not ask.” Tempi replied, honestly. His words were a bit hard to work through, since it was not his first language. “You did on your own.”

“Because no one else would do it if I didn’t!” Kvothe argued, “And by no one else, I mean you. There are only two of us.”

“Thinking.”

“...What? I don-- Are you serious? You couldn’t help because you were thinking about how to reply to me?”

“Your language is...” Tempi paused, making a hand gesture that Kvothe didn’t recognize. “bad. Too much.”

Kvothe sighed, “Well, I guess that answers why you never speak to me. Or anyone else for that matter.” He crossed his arms and glared at the cooking meat over the fire. “I just don’t get why.”

Tempi gave a small hum in return, but no words for a long moment. “Compli-cated. No need for extra talk. Simple actions for clean talk.” He tried to explain with his limited words. Holding up his hand, he pointed to it with the other. “Deep meaning. More than talk.” His hand then made an almost mocking talking movement, fingers tapping at his thumb to mimic the action of speaking.

“I think it’s harder. You don’t have a large range of things to use to explain how much someone means to you, or how much pain you are in, or what you need.” He tried to argue with the Adem.

Tempi shook his head, seeming slightly annoyed. “For you. Barbarians. Adem talk just fine without many words. We watch, we listen. More connected than barbarians.”

Kvothe narrowed his eyes and looked displeased, huffing in annoyance. “You keep saying that. It’s almost rude.”

“Truth.” Tempi corrected.

Kvothe looked more annoyed. “Anyway. Did you think of answers for anything else I asked?”

Tempi shrugged softly, “I do not know. Just are. It is just how Adem live.” He replied, not having all the words at his disposal. “Just like how you just are. We just do the way we are. Different, but not bad.”

“I guess... I never said it was bad. I said it was unimaginable... Which means hard to think of. Strange. Different.” Kvothe explained quickly, knowing Tempi may have needed help with the foreign word. “I’m always working with music and speaking. to suddenly not would be... hard.”

“I can tell.”

Kvothe’s brow twitched, deciding to let the answer go and get food instead. Dividing out the food carefully, he calmed his temper the best he could, eating some of the meat he had prepared before trying to speak again. “So... music?”

Tempi paused his eating and looked up to him. “What?”

“Music. Why is it so... intimate?”

“Just is.”

“Of course.” Kvothe sighed, continuing to eat. “So I’m guessing I can’t play?” He asked, voice already disappointed.

The Adem was very quiet, before nodding towards Kvothe. His left hand flattened, before his fingers curled slightly and he had a very small smile on his face. “You can play... if you teach me some too.”

Kvothe watched the others left hand, nodding softly with the gestures he knew. “Wait, really?”

Tempi again flattened his hand. Approval.

Kvothe grinned and devoured his meal, licking his fingers clean and cleaning up what he had used too cook. Setting up his sleep roll and making a better place for him to play, it took Kvothe the better part of a half hour to finally settle down and pull his lute from the case. By that time, the two men were left with just about only firelight illuminating themselves and their camp. With nothing around them for miles, the crackling of the fire and their own shifting around was the only sound for miles; protected from the wind by the enormous bolder they were propped against. 

Tempi adjusted how he was sitting, starting to face away, but turning around on the rock again and looking at the instrument the red head held. He glanced away on occasion, fingers curling more. Embarrassment.

Kvothe smiled softly and adjusted how he had the lute in his hands, plucking a few notes out to fix the tuning. “So, what do you want to hear?” He asked Tempi, wondering if he knew anything.

“I... do not know. Anything. Happy.” He quickly corrected himself twice, wanting to try and be more specific. Having hearing Kvothe play music at camp before, he only kind of knew what he was getting into.

Kvothe looked to his fingers for a minute as he thought of a song to play. Seeming pleased, he started to play for the Adem mercenary, fingers dancing cheerfully along the neck of the lute. He played light and full of glee, fingers seeming to prance along like a merry group during a spring festival in some small farm town. 

Tempi was quiet as he watched, face flushed bright as he watched Kvothe’s fingers work along the neck of the lute and the wonderful music that fluttered through the air. It made his heart skip and jump about with the music, placing his hand against his own chest softly.

When Kvothe was done, he carefully removed his fingers from the lute and looked to Tempi, waiting for him to say something. He smiled again, seeing the light haired man’s reaction to hearing music. It was like seeing someone falling in love for the first time: so pure and new. 

“...Another?” Tempi asked carefully. “Then show me?”

“I can show you now, instead. I can teach you to play something easier. How about that?” Kvothe said, getting up and already moving over to sit with Tempi. Sitting in the dirt, he waved Tempi over, “Come on. You can sit in front of me for now. I’ll lead your hands -- you have to play with both.”

Tempi seemed unsure, looking at both his hands, then to Kvothe. Seeing as Kvothe nodded once more, he slowly moved off the rock and sat across from Kvothe. “Both?”

“Yes.”

Tempi nodded and sat with his back against Kvothe, feeling the other rest the lute into his lap and the gentle rise and fall of his chest brush against his tense back. He didn’t touch the lute yet, unsure and nervous. 

Kvothe took the mercenaries hands softly and placed them carefully against the lute. “Okay, just let me press your fingers and lead you along.” Kvothe said, pressing softly on the fronts of Tempi’s fingers that were against the lute strings, while helping him strum the lute. “Relax your hands, okay? It’ll help you play easier... yeah, just like that. I’ll bother teaching you notes later.”

Tempi’s face was as red as his clothes, trying to do as he was asked by the other. It felt strange holding an instrument; lewd even. More so with touching hands with someone that wasn’t combat oriented. His focus was much less on the playing and more on the actions he was partaking in. Of course, for Kvothe, it was nothing, but it still made him feel strange.

Kvothe smiled and laughed softly, playing the same few notes while holding Tempi’s hands so he got a feel for the lute. He could feel how tense Tempi was about it, “You want to stop?”

“N...No.” Tempi replied, shaking his head softly.

“Are you sure? You don’t have to play, you know.” Kvothe said, pulling his hands away softly. 

“I want to learn.” Tempi argued, face still bright red. 

Kvothe smile and placed his hands back against Tempi’s, sitting a little closer to be more comfortable. “Alright, alright. Just keep your hands soft.” He instructed, gently leading Tempi’s hands along the lute neck with soft movements.

The two played through a good portion of the night. Tempi wanted to keep learning and be close to Kvothe, Kvothe seeming to have no issue with teaching him how to play. Kvothe smiled all the while, humming softly just about next to Tempi’s ear as he helped find notes. The fire crackled softly in the background of the lute gently letting out the same few notes to the mountain, light slowly fading and leaving the two together in serene, private quiet in the world.