#wish more romance narratives would take note

[prime-adeptus]

ONE LOVE, ONE LIFETIME – YONE X READER

“Well, if you decide to come back here one day,” you said, reaching for his hand. Your skin felt warm against his own. “Just know that I’ll be here waiting for you.” Or, the one where Yone fell first.

CONTENT.⠀female reader; romance, light angst and hurt/comfort, family issues, elitism in the family (yeah), Asshole Father bc I have problems, family member death, very heavily implied that MC was an accident baby, talks about death and the afterlife on yone's end, brief talks of arranged marriage, allusions to misogyny. + Spirit Blossom AU with some changes to fit the narrative. ~11k words

NOTES.⠀I wanted to finish this before I start properly using the break so woe ~20 pages be upon ye. I've had this in my drafts for ages and it took longer than I would've liked but! we made it! this is a gift for my beloved @kakujis, a dear friend and my Shimada Liker in Arms. <3 I hope you enjoy!!

divider by cafekitsune | cross-posted on ao3

Pride and honour stood above all else.

Such a lesson was established in your clan from the moment of its founding, forging ahead generations of noble swordsmen who have never strayed from their paths. Every child born into the family is bound to duty, raised and trained by the elite until they are seen as ready for the battles ahead of them. Pride flowed in your veins and you were taught to believe that what you bleed is your negligence. Honour is engraved in your bones, down to the marrow—strong as the seas, and immovable as the mountains.

Every child of your family knows this by heart, including you, the broken one. The odd one out. The blemish on what would otherwise be a pristine reputation.

Born without the same mana or prowess that all of your brothers possessed, you were deemed a flawed child undeserving of the honour of your family name. Fate restricted you from following the path you wished to take as soon as they decided on where your life began. How was it fair at all to put such a heavy burden on a child’s shoulders? On someone who hadn’t opened their eyes for the first time yet?

You craved to learn the ways of a warrior, to be someone the younger generation could trust and look up to. Instead, you were scorned in your own home by a family that was hellbent on upholding tradition and their position among the elite. All because you were born differently. Anything said about you was always done in contempt, especially from your own flesh and blood—your father, your brothers, and your sisters.

‘You are not my child.’ It was your father’s way of saying he didn’t want himself or his beloved sons associated with you, his flesh and blood. It wasn’t anything out of the ordinary. So long as he and the oh-so-esteemed council were alive, you would never be seen as a part of the family. So long as he continued to breathe, he would look down on you as much as he could. And yet, even though he so explicitly despised you, you still did everything you could so you could be worth his time.

A fruitless endeavour. He held your weakness over your head, his glare a constant reminder of how he’d always see you as a failure. You would never be enough. You wanted to leave, but where would you go? Without your family name, you had nothing. With your name, all you were was a bastard. You were bound to a home that didn’t welcome you.

‘You are not my child.’ You didn’t want to be.

You wished you had the chance to meet your mother. She abandoned you on the doorstep, they would say whenever you asked about her, your father saved you. It wasn’t until years later that you learned the truth. She never abandoned you—she was threatened, forbidden from stepping foot inside the mansion again. You used to wish she had fought more and taken you with her, but the more you grew, the more you understood. Whatever fury you harboured towards her dwindled like a flame dying on its own.

She didn’t have a choice. You knew firsthand what that felt like. Everything the elders said was law; within these walls, there was no going against them. They saw her as disposable, a lowly commoner who just happened to earn the affection of a nobleman for a night. And dispose of her they did. As the midwife took you away, your mother was sent off to another city in a carriage that never returned. No one spoke of her again. Whether it was by command or a collective agreement, you weren’t sure.

There were times when her name would come up in hushed whispers. Some of them were from your father. You remember being six years old and listening to your father’s drunk mumbling. With a hand on your head, he told you that you looked just like your mother. It was the gentlest he’d ever been with you. But when the inebriation left his system the next morning, your loving father was gone, and the patriarch was back.

His soft tone became harsh once again. His eyes burned with hatred. It was as if everything was just a dream. It might as well have been. You chalked it up to him having a bad day, just like yesterday and the day before that. Surely he’d be kind to you again if he drank.

He wasn’t.

And as if taking your mother away wasn’t already enough of a mockery, you were constantly reminded that this was not your home. That you were here because you belonged to the clan. You’ve always been. You were already their property from the moment you inhaled your first breath.

Your life was theirs, but even that wasn’t enough.

(You don’t think you’ll ever be.)

A child in a loveless family. Your father thought it wasn’t worth trying to train you, having decided that you were beyond help. Your brothers didn’t see you as someone they had to protect. Your sisters didn’t want to be seen with you. All you had were your grandparents.

With them, you were treated as family. It didn’t matter to them that you didn’t have what your siblings did. They loved you.

You spent mornings in the apothecary room with your grandmother, learning all about herbs and medicine from all around the world. In the afternoon, you’d spend time training with your grandfather in the dojo and listening to his stories of ages past. Then, every evening, you’d spend time with both of them at the temple that they cared for. All of your best memories were made there. When your grandparents inevitably passed, you didn’t hesitate to pick up from where they left off.

Your volunteering to maintain its upkeep seemed to satisfy the elders enough. At least you’ll be useful in something, your father said without batting an eye. You liked to think you’d become numb to all the jabs thrown your way, but you were wrong.

The temple was your getaway, somewhere you could hide from the world and feel more at home than you did in the estate. The smell of flowers and herbs inside the temple, alongside the sight of the sunrise or sunset, never failed to lull you into a state of tranquillity. The voices you’d hear from around you weren’t those of disappointment, but those of birds chirping in a joyous tune. It was the only place you’ll ever feel at peace in. Seeing the names of your grandparents engraved on the stone slabs broke your heart whenever you walked by. You might not grieve any more, but you were still alone.

Ionian faith and tradition flowed in your veins. You were taught about grace by your grandmother and what it meant to be dignified, worthy of respect even without noteworthy achievements. Your grandfather taught you strength and combat so you could protect yourself and others from monsters, both human and unknown. You wouldn’t have gotten the chance to learn the blade elsewhere. He was more than enthusiastic to pass on his knowledge to you. He’d grown weak with age, he said, but you’ve always thought he was the greatest swordsman you know. Aside from the temple, the dojo was where you felt the happiest, but as always, good things never lasted long for you.

In your world, secrets were nearly impossible to have. Spies and traitors lurked in the walls, engraving every decision you made and every word you spoke into their memory. It didn’t take long for your father to find out about the lessons his father had been giving you. In fury, he forbade you from entering the dojo or holding a weapon again and told you that you didn’t deserve to carry on his father’s legacy. Forced to leave behind your passion and descend into monotony, the art of the blade eventually left your mind. Had you just fought back—

No. Not everything was under your control. As long as you were in your father’s home, he would continue to treat you however he liked. The cruel words will keep being said, behind your back and to your face, but you won’t give them the satisfaction. You swore not to let anyone see you at your weakest again. You hated the name that you bear, but you would honour it the way you were taught to. The world might be against you, but there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. Staying hopeful in a place like Ionia was all you could do.

Dawn always comes after dusk. The sun always rises for a new day. You didn’t see why it should be any different for you.

—

Your days got busier as the Spirit Blossom festival approached.

More and more people came to honour their loved ones every day, praying and making offerings to their ancestors for protection. You weren’t sure if you ever attended the festival yourself. You knew of the legends and stories behind it, of its reasons and purposes, but you had only been a bystander. You couldn’t see spirits even if you wanted to anyway, you thought bitterly, so there wasn’t a way for you to see your grandparents again.

‘In the Spirit Blossom festival, the dead reunite with their loved ones until the afterlife calls for them again.’

Whether or not it was possible to see said spirits, it was still hard to ignore the longing in your heart. The cycle of life and death was not unknown (you were more familiar with it than you’d like) but you didn’t think anyone could ever get used to it. You loved deeply, and when the ones you love are taken away from you, you’re left alone with yourself. You weren’t a stranger to partaking in as many tasks as possible to stop needlessly thinking, either. You spent your entire morning doing chores and running errands for this reason. You needed to keep yourself busy so you could drift away just for a little while.

With all of your tasks completed, you had nothing left to do. Leaves were swept into neat piles that the farmers always came to pick up later per routine. It took longer than you would’ve liked, though you supposed it was bound to happen when the workload wasn’t meant for one person, but two. The other shrine maiden had an ‘urgent matter to attend to,’ as her messenger informed you and left. You knew right away she paid him to cover for her. You’d like to think you mellowed out with age, having lived for almost three decades, but you were wrong. You were just as easy to irk as you were as a child.

‘It’s not a good thing to harbour negativity in a sacred place,’ your grandmother’s voice rang in your head, ‘it brings bad luck.’ But there you stood, the most irate you’ve ever been as you wished a terrible week upon the both of them.

Thanks to the tedious work done in all your lonesome, the tile flooring within the temple was spotless. The altar was dusted and reorganised, ready to accept the next batch of offerings. The place smelled more like soap than the usual floral incense you were used to. On any other day, you’d return to your quarters after such a productive time, maybe read a book before you go to sleep, but nature had other plans in store.

The wind howled and rain started to pitter-patter against the rooftop while the sun began its descent. Silhouettes of nature and man-made structures were the only company you had as you made your way back into the prayer room. Away from the rain, you idly watched the world go by from inside. You remembered your grandfather telling you about his battles in a storm and how tumultuous it had been. The retellings of his past exploits were your favourite stories to listen to in your childhood. He travelled through the lands and protected those he held dear with honour. He lived a life of pride and accomplishments that you wanted to have in yours. You still did.

A singular incense stick burnt in the centre of the bowl of ash and sand, its smoke disappearing into the air as it did so. The air grew colder as the sun set, painting the sky in warm hues and your skin in gooseflesh. The storm outside threatened to extinguish the flames within the lantern posts outside. Your uniform robe and long skirt, despite its many layers and the fabric, didn’t aid much in shielding you from the cold. A shiver ran down your spine from the sudden drop in temperature.

If you were asked what you disliked about this time of the year, you would say the weather’s unpredictability as the veil was lifted. The day started pleasantly; the sun was bright and the spring breeze was refreshing. There was no way you could’ve known that there would be a storm approaching.

The doors slammed shut with a loud bang, making you jump in fright and instinctively reach for a sword you no longer owned. You frowned. Years had passed since you last held a weapon, and you weren’t sure if your body had any memory of it at all. If danger were to actually happen, your only means of defence would be the old wooden broom in the corner, which you doubted made for a good weapon. Still, you found yourself keeping it close, your fingers curling tightly around the handle. It was better to be safe than sorry. You were fortunate enough to live in a densely populated area that was well protected, but as typical of an Ionian village, worse things awaited after sunset.

You were a cautious person for as long as you could remember. As optimistic as you tried to be, you weren’t exactly so convinced that there was such a thing as a safe haven. So long as peace exists, so will chaos, and with chaos comes things that are out of your control. You were taught to let things progress the way fate and nature intended them to, to let go of your anxieties because you always worried over ‘nothing.’

But that was easier said than done. You worried for a reason. Everything happens for a reason. Fate weaves the threads of life the way it wants to. The strong are led to lives of fame and power, and the blessed are led to lives of love and fortune. But you weren’t strong or blessed, you were cursed. If the Creator put you on earth for a reason, what is it? What path does fate want you to take, and what did you do in your past life to be put in such a suffocating position?

The anxiety at the pit of your stomach grew stronger the longer you observed the forest and the shadows in between. In the daylight, the temple was comforting and tranquil, picturesque, but it hadn’t occurred to you until then how daunting it was in the dark. It was a quiet night, eerily so, and the floorboards creaked beneath your feet as you padded into the prayer area. Tentatively, you placed the broom down and knelt before the statues of the gods you worshipped. The incense burnt itself down to the base, gradually putting out the flame on its own.

‘If you are afraid, pray. The gods will protect you.’

You weren’t a child anymore. Monsters only existed in stories—there was nothing to be afraid of. But the feeling persisted and it became worse as the door swung open and slammed against the wall. You heard something breathing.

It wasn’t the wind.

A low growl rumbled from the chest of whatever was stalking towards you. An animal of some sort. A predator. Your mind screamed at you to just run, but you were terrified, you couldn’t move and your body just wouldn't listen—

It drew closer.

You were going to die, ripped apart by a monster, and it was going to hurt more than anything ever had. Squeezing your eyes shut, you muttered a prayer under your breath in hopes that it would help. Maybe it was a spirit that couldn’t pass on. If you prayed for it, you could alleviate its pain and then be left alone. You were frantic, the words coming out incoherent as you got tongue-tied and struggled to remember the rest of them. When you felt it breathing down the back of your neck, your voice died in a choked whine. It watched you with hunger and it raised its claws with murderous intent, ready to slash.

It never did.

Instead, you heard the gargling of blood, followed by a clatter on the floor. Your body finally listened and you turned around to see what you could only describe as a demon. The glow in its mask’s eyes dimmed as it died with a sword speared through its chest, inches away from your face. In terror, you watched it bleed as the crimson splattered on your skin. It crumbled into dust as if it was never there. Just like that, it was dead and gone.

The mask dropped where your saviour stood. Wordlessly, he picked it up and attached it to a grotesque belt adorned with similar faces. All you could do was watch as everything slowly sank in. The downpour became louder, heavier. Your ears rang and your body felt numb. The only sound you heard was your ragged breathing as you tried to calm down and think. This must be a nightmare. It had to be. It had to be a hallucination from your paranoia and lack of sleep.

You closed your eyes and opened them again. The man was still standing in front of you.

You weren’t dreaming.

It was all real, from the blood splattered on the ground to the man in front of you. Half of his face was covered by a red mask, more menacing than what the monster had worn. Bandages were loosely wrapped around his torso and his arms, revealing some of his pale skin and scars from what could only be combat.

You weren’t dreaming.

A monster you had never seen tried to kill you and you were lucky enough that this man came to save your life. It felt as though your mind stopped entirely. You didn’t know where to start. Were you supposed to ask about the monster or ask about him?

You decided on the latter. “How did you know it was here?”

A beat of silence passed, and then he spoke.

“It is my curse to bear.”

That didn’t really answer your question. You attempted to ask again, but one glance at his face made you realise that he didn’t care about answering them. It was essentially impossible to tell what he was thinking and you’d rather not agitate someone as intimidating as him.

“Thank you,” you opted to say instead.

Your gaze landed on the swords in his hands. Blood was still dripping off of the red blade that seemed to be glowing. If his mask was menacing, his blades were worse—you had never seen anything quite like them.

He didn’t respond. All he gave you was a nearly imperceptible nod, a sign of acknowledgement. Seemingly satisfied with his kill, he made the move to leave, and your thoughts ran rampant. You wanted answers, an explanation, anything to make sense out of what happened.

You should let him go. You should run home before you encounter another one of those things again when you’re not as lucky, but you didn’t.

“Wait!” you called out, louder than you intended. “Teach me how to fight.”

He stopped in his tracks, then slightly looked back at you. The action had you fidgeting nervously. There was a gut feeling that he was going to say—

“No.”

You needed him to teach you. He was strong. He knew what those things were and how to kill them. He could help you. If that thing could come in here so easily, undeterred by the protective runes and wards placed around the temple, another could do it again. You couldn’t afford to let this place get destroyed because of your inability to defend it. You needed to protect your grandparents’ memory, a small sliver of their legacy that you were allowed to touch. You had to.

The chance was falling out of your hands right in front of you. Your confidence wavered, but you tried again. “I… I’ll pay you. Just name your price.”

“Money has no value to me.”

“Please?” Your voice was quieter, more hesitant. “This place, it’s… It’s all I have left. I need to protect it.”

“I can’t,” he said. “I have a duty I must fulfil.”

“Please—wait!”

This time, he didn’t spare you another glance as he walked off into the night, leaving you afraid and alone with the monster’s blood still on your skin.

—

No matter how many years passed, Yone’s hands would always be stained in blood.

The village was different from what he remembered. He knew of it when it was in flames and scattered with bodies of the brave. With what little time it had after the war, the village has been rebuilt from the disaster that the Noxians left behind. It was stronger, safer, liberated from their clutches. More swordsmen and warriors were patrolling the area, all bearing the crest of the clan that owned the village itself.

That didn’t. The clan of where men were raised to be elite warriors and women were raised to be the most adept of mages, known for their noble blood and valiance. Their estate was fortified and bigger than it used to be, looming over the smaller houses that unsurprisingly didn’t get as much protection. What seemed to be the most protected, though, was the temple. It was known to be a sanctuary to the villagers and the most important value to them was faith. Seeing said sanctuary well-protected wasn’t a shock. It was always that way.

As a child, he used to visit the temple on particularly rough days. Sometimes, his brother would come along, and they’d go find the master swordsman who took care of it with his wife, the shrine maiden. His brother in particular enjoyed hearing all about the swordsman’s stories, inspired by his strength and bravery that remained well into his older years. His wife was stern but motherly to all, more doting towards children than adults.

They weren’t like the rest of the clan who looked down on the weak; they loved. They loved their home, they loved their fellow men, and they loved the world. The people loved them, too. He loved them, just like they loved this sanctuary they built.

Yone stepped into the courtyard. Though it was past sunset, he could see that the place was much greener. More flowers had grown since then and the spring was well-maintained. He thought that the temple remained the most welcoming place he ever found himself in. It was clear that whoever was taking care of this place did it with the same love that the elderly couple had. He spotted their names on the stone slabs written in gold. There wasn’t just one bouquet on their grave, but several. Well-loved even after death as they deserved.

As he approached the main building, he sensed it—danger lurking within, undoubtedly the work of a monster he was all too familiar with. The wooden doors were broken and splintered. Cautiously, he stepped inside. True to his suspicion, at the end of the hall was an azakana hunched over someone, its grotesque mass a stark contrast to the pristine state of the walls as it growled and breathed heavily. His swords glinted in the light of the moon as he drew them.

Yone’s kills were clean and precise. He didn’t need to destroy his surroundings to prove his strength, nor did he think that he was destructive to that extent. As disciplined in life, as disciplined in death, and even more so in between. His physiology was wholly different from what it had been when he was alive. His being alone defied life itself.

He felt weightless, numb yet still in full control of his body as he moved into the prayer room, his footsteps not making a single sound. He heard what sounded like crazed muttering from where the azakana stood, something akin to pleading or perhaps a prayer. The azakana raised its hand. Its talons grew longer and sharper, prepared to strike whoever it was hiding. Before it could, Yone pierced his blade through its heart, silently watching as it disintegrated back into nothing but ashes and dust on the ground.

“How did you know it was here?” you asked, still struggling to catch your breath.

He was silent for a while as he picked up the mask it left behind and pinned it to his belt as proof of yet another successful hunt. You were staring up at him with teary eyes, still shaken from being so close to death’s grasp. He didn’t want to alarm you—he knew he looked ghastly—but you were obviously different from what he was. You were alive, vulnerable, and from the way you quivered like a leaf, you had never encountered one of those things before.

“It is my curse to bear,” he replied smoothly. A practised response, one that he hoped would be all you asked for. Yone knew it didn’t answer your question. As if you had more questions—you most likely did; he didn’t blame you for that—you parted your lips to speak, but no words came out.

Slightly defeated, you exhaled and gave him a small smile. “Thank you.”

Yone glanced at you. Your face felt familiar to him like you were an old friend he hadn’t seen in years. You must be related to the previous caretakers somehow. The resemblance you had with them was striking. The way you spoke was timid, unlike the boisterous master swordsman or the confident shrine maiden. It didn’t bother him. If he was like you, defenceless in your position, he would’ve acted the same way. You seemed to be calming down with each breath you took, making him relax just the slightest. You weren’t harmed.

Aside from the azakana’s blood, tonight, his hands were clean, and he wouldn’t need to repent.

He decided to leave. There was no reason why he should stay for any longer. The sooner he could find the other stray malevolent spirits, the safer his childhood home would be. Things like him didn’t have the privilege of resting. He didn’t need it. Before he made it past the door, you called out for him, forcing him to stop in his tracks.

“Teach me how to fight.”

He didn’t hesitate. “No.”

“I… I’ll pay you. Just name your price.”

You looked less and less confident with each passing second. Dealing with stubborn people wasn’t anything out of the ordinary for him. He grew up with Yasuo—he was more than used to it. He pursed his lips.

“Money has no value to me.”

“Please.” Yone should’ve been out for the next hunt by now, but there was something in your voice that kept him staying where he was. “This place, it’s… It’s all I have left. I need to protect it.”

It wasn’t that he didn’t want to help you. He wanted to protect what he could too. It just… wasn’t for him. He thought you’d be better off learning from a master. Surely you could go to the dojo that your clan owned?

“I can’t,” he replied, realising that he had left you hanging. “I have a duty I must fulfil.”

He didn’t look back this time. The cold air of the night greeted him as he stepped out and put his swords back in their sheaths. The rain washed away the blood and its remnants on the stones beneath his feet. The skies seemed to be clearer than they were earlier. The moon and stars glowed brightly in the darkness, illuminating the paths before him. There was a nagging feeling in his chest that he hadn’t felt in a very long time. Something was off—were there more azakana hiding in the area? He decided he’d patrol the forest one more time before moving on elsewhere.

He left without a trace, just like a ghost like him always did.

—

You started to carry a dagger with you wherever you went.

It wasn’t a naginata or ootachi like you were trained to use, but it made you feel safer to have something you can defend yourself with. Thankfully, the temple wasn’t damaged too badly, though it would still take some time to repair. One of the older mages dropped by and offered to cast a protective seal, which you gladly accepted.

“Miss?” you asked, fidgeting nervously as she finished up her work.

She hummed. “Yes, dear?”

“Is the… The veil, is it already open?”

“It should be by now.” She contemplated for a bit. “I will say, it wasn’t this disastrous last year… I assume it’s because the magical energy is stronger this time around. Don’t worry, dear—nature will have adapted to it by now.”

“I see. Thank you,” you chirped. “I’m more worried about the temple getting attacked or broken than anything… I can’t see spirits the same way you can. I won’t be able to protect myself.”

“The seal will keep out malevolent entities.” She placed a comforting hand on your shoulder. Then she lowered her voice as if she was worried someone would hear her. “Was this really done by the storm? I could feel something strange in the air when I came here.”

You hesitantly shook your head. “There was a monster. It broke in and some—something else killed it.”

“What did it look like?”

“I was too scared to look,” you said apologetically, “but it was wearing a mask.”

“A mask?”

“It looked like a demon. The same ones in stories I used to read as a child.”

The mage frowned. “We’ll need a stronger seal than the one I put here, then.”

“Do you know what they are?”

“They’re called azakana. They are demons,” she explained. “You’re really lucky to have made it out alive. Those creatures are ruthless. They’ll stop at nothing.”

Azakana. You didn’t think you heard of them. You weren’t allowed in the magic library. Your grandparents didn’t like going into detail about the unknown, said it was just hearsay. You never got to explore the world the same way they did. All you knew in your entire life was the estate. You contemplated sneaking into the library to learn about everything that was kept from you, but there were bigger matters at hand.

“How do I stop them?”

“You kill them before they kill you,” she answered wryly. “I’ll do all I can to help keep the temple safe, but I can’t guarantee your protection.”

You had a busy afternoon ahead of you—more errands to run, more favours to do—so you couldn’t stay for long. With a polite goodbye, you went your own way, her words echoing in your mind all the while. You’d have to retrace your steps and learn to fight by yourself. The thought of how ridiculous you’d look training alone made you grimace. But she was right; it was kill or be killed. You wouldn’t always be as fortunate as you were a few days prior.

You idly swung the empty basket in your hand as you walked through the estate. The gardens look much better now. The hedges were trimmed, wilted flowers were removed, and the pond was clear. You couldn’t believe a storm just happened. The weather seemed to have settled for good, too. It was a warm and sunny day, the perfect weather for you to collect herbs and flowers for the village apothecary. She had become more frail with age, and considering her station isn’t too far from the temple, you offered to do the job for her. In your pocket was a written list of what she needed. It was nothing too difficult to find.

You were about to leave until you heard your name coming from someone in the meeting room. The doors were closed, but the walls were thin enough for you to be able to hear through them.

“—a leftover person,” a voice said—you recognised it as your uncle’s. “Past the age of marriage, but it could still be an option.”

Your heart dropped. You hid behind a wall, your fists clenched tightly around the handle of the basket as you tried to calm down and stay quiet lest you get caught eavesdropping.

Another voice chimed in. “—offspring would be cursed as well. Are you sure you don’t want to set up an arranged marriage? It’s been years—”

“Being constantly reminded of a mistake I made nearly thirty years ago is quite irritating, councillor,” came the unmistakable haughty voice of your father. “I said no. I refuse to tarnish our family name.”

You should be used to this. The cruel words, the hatred, the anger, but you can’t, no matter how much you’ve tried. It’s not as if you’re unaware of your power or lack thereof. It’s been said to you time and time again: you were weak, you were nothing.

“—what about training? It could help with getting started,” a feminine voice added. You weren’t surprised that she was the only one who was less harsh with her words talking about you so far. She of all people would know how you felt.

“Out of the question,” your father replied snidely. “Our mages and swordsmen are all pure-blooded. The bastard doesn’t deserve the honour of being one of them.”

Their words slipped through your ears. You were no longer listening; instead, you bit down on your lip and tried to hold back tears. How could someone hate their flesh and blood so much? How could he take everything away from you so easily? Not caring that they would hear you, you stormed out the gates while harshly wiping away your tears with your hands. Knowing them, they probably wanted you to.

You ran and pushed past strangers, unbothered by the concerned and irritated looks you were given. You ran until you found yourself deep in the forest, far enough so you could be left alone. Everything you tried to hold back then burst. You wailed, nails digging into your skin and your body wracked with sobs. The sound of water flowing down the stream slowly but surely calmed you down. The sobs eventually became quiet sniffles until they stopped entirely. Your tears dried on their own and you could finally breathe again.

Looking up from your hands, your gaze drifted to a fawn across the river. It lovingly nudged its mother with its head, stumbled a bit as it tried to keep up with her pace. The sight warmed your heart. It was always nice to see beings, human or animal, be gentle to one another. You hoped to be in that position someday.

A twig snapped behind you. Alarmed, you reflexively grabbed your dagger and whipped around, but the threat you were going to say died on your tongue when you saw who it was. The masked man—the one who saved you from the azakana—stood before you, huffing at you as if he found something funny.

“I’m not here to hurt you.”

You glowered at him with furrowed brows before hesitantly relaxing, putting the dagger back in its sheath. “What are you doing here?”

“The dojo.”

“What?”

He crossed his arms over his chest. “Did you not ask me to teach you how to fight?”

“I did, but…”

You bit the inside of your cheek. It was kind of him to seek you out again to tell you this, but you weren’t sure how you felt. Part of you wanted to say yes, to learn to protect yourself and others. The bigger part of you already felt defeated. You could only be tough for so long before you started to break.

“Thank you for reconsidering,” you said. You meant it. “But I’m not allowed there.”

“Not allowed?”

“My father is quite a stickler for the rules.” You chuckled humorlessly. “Only his sons are allowed in that dojo. The ones with noble blood, not the bastards. Take a guess where I fall between those two.”

He mulled over your words for a bit. Then he said, “Tell me your preferred weapon.”

You blinked dumbly. “Huh?”

“Your stance. It doesn’t belong to someone who uses a dagger.”

You supposed it made sense for someone like him to know something that even you didn’t notice. Awkward as he might be, it was evident that he was passionate about what he knew. A man of honour and discipline, a dual wielder with effortless lethality. You wondered how someone like him wasn’t revered and well-known the same way that the bladesman from Wuju and the blade dancer of Navori were. You broke the silence with a noise of disbelief. How strange, indeed.

“My grandfather thought I was best suited for a naginata, so that’s what he trained me in as a child,” you told him. “I don’t think I remember anything, though. It’s been a very long time.”

“You do,” he cut in. “No one forgets the art of the blade. Your mind may not remember, but your body does.”

“That’s very kind of you to say… Thank you,” you responded, smiling softly at him, “but what made you change your mind? I thought you had your… duty.”

“I do, but helping you can also be one of them,” he replied bluntly. “You have something you want to protect. As did I.”

You tried not to think too much about why he said it like that. It was not your place to pry, but you had always been a curious one. He must have lost something or someone along the way. For someone so stoic, he didn’t hide the regret in his tone well.

You glanced at him, deciding to end your train of thought before you slipped up and said something you regretted. “Are you sure you want nothing in return?”

“I only ask for your name.”

Heat rushed to your face. It was an incredibly mundane thing to ask for, normal for people who were getting to know each other to do. His forwardness caught you off guard, made you lose your balance for a moment. You cleared your throat and gave him your name, which he repeated quietly to himself.

He nodded at you. “My name is Yone.”

Yone grabbed a bamboo stick (where did he even get that from?) and tossed it your way, visibly pleased when you managed to catch it with ease.

“Well, then, let us begin.”

—

You developed a new routine since you started training with Yone.

In the morning, you took care of the temple, which you said was ‘good as new.’ In the afternoon, you helped the apothecary with preparing medicine. In the evening, when everyone went home, you trained by the riverside with Yone. Then, at night, he walked you home per your request.

For someone who was adamant that they forgot everything, you got familiar with the blades quite easily. You were a quick learner, he noticed. He didn’t understand why you thought so lowly of yourself. He didn’t understand how your family could hate someone like you. From first glance, he knew that you were kind. Stubborn, but a great listener. Thoughtful, quick-witted, and gentle even with those who didn’t treat you the same way.

It had taken a while, but you started to be more confident in yourself as well. You hesitated less. He could see you rising up the ranks in the dojo quickly; you just needed encouragement and practice. It didn’t make sense to him why your father was dead set on restricting you from everything.

No matter, Yone thought. His heart swelled with pride every time he saw you. You didn’t even seem to realise that you were nothing like your family said you were. As much as he wanted you to know that, he wasn’t good with words. On top of his unfamiliarity with comfort or praise, he also didn’t know where his relationship with you stood. You weren’t friends, you weren’t strangers, but you weren’t distant like acquaintances would be. Regardless, he didn’t want to overstep. All he could do was hope that you’d understand him.

Steel clashed against each other as you parried his attacks. Something was different, like you weren’t completely there. He was proven right when he managed to pin you down to the floor, the edge of his sword hovering only a breath away from your neck.

“You faltered,” he said more as a statement than a question. “You can not hesitate in a fight.”

You averted your gaze from his intense stare. Were you afraid of him?

“I’m sorry.”

“We should stop for today.” He smoothly rose to his feet and offered you a hand, helping you up. “Is something wrong? You seem distracted.”

“The festival is tomorrow,” you murmured. “But I’ll be alright.”

“You don’t wish to participate in it,” he finished for you.

You gave him a strained smile. “I can’t. I just… can’t.”

Abruptly, you pulled your hand away from his and squeaked out an apology. He hadn’t noticed they were still joined together, but there was a strange feeling pulling at his chest when you let go. Still, he didn’t say anything, choosing to let the conversation end there. He knew what it was like to lose someone. Rebirth might have changed him, melded him into stone, but some things could break through and get to him.

(He hadn’t known it then, but you were one of them.)

“I’ll… see you tomorrow, then,” you said hesitantly. “I should go back.”

He nodded. “I understand. Get home safe.”

You looked as though you wanted to say something else, lips parted and eyes curious, but you didn’t. Instead, you smiled at him—softer this time, less strained—and left without a word. As you faded into the distance, Yone sighed quietly and sat down on the grass, his swords laid next to him. He didn’t want to take you away from your other responsibilities; he knew fully well that you were quite dutiful as he was. He’d gotten so used to spending evenings with you, training and listening to you talk about whatever was on your mind that your absence felt off.

Though you were sure that you weren’t going to join in the festivities tomorrow, you most likely had to help out somehow. From what you told him about your family, he doubted that they’d leave you alone as well, taking the chance of reuniting with loved ones to look down on you. His lips tugged into a frown. Feelings weren’t exactly his strong suit since his new life began, but it didn’t mean he couldn’t understand how you would feel.

The breeze caressed his skin, taking him in its cold embrace. The drop in temperature didn’t bother him. It never had, really. He was more than used to how inconsistent the Ionian climate could get. So what was this weariness and uneasiness clouding his mind? Lingering somewhere between life and death, feelings were the least of his concerns, but he didn’t like what it was doing to him as he thought about you.

He stared at the moon’s reflection in the river. It did the same thing not long ago when you sat together and talked to him about your fondest memories. It was the first time you were so open with him. He listened to your stories, your laughter and the bittersweet tinge in your voice.

He saw a spirit walking hand-in-hand with another person somewhere not too far from where he was. A festival meant for reuniting with their loved ones, the only chance spirits and humans got to see each other again. He didn’t have anyone to visit—even if he did, he doubted he could bring himself to face someone he had failed years ago.

His thoughts wandered back to you and what you told him about your grandparents. It was a relief to find out that they never changed even after the war, having stayed the same loving people until their end. A thought popped into his head. If he could just find them—no, he could.

He knew their names. He knew them.

He wasn’t a magic user, but he was confident in his ability to search. Reinvigorated, he grabbed his swords and got up. Pondering under the stars would have to wait, he had a mission to do.

The only advantage to being something he was, Yone thought, was that fatigue was never an issue. He traversed through the plains, made his way up the hill, taking every twist and turn he could think of. Not wanting to risk being seen by civilians—he wasn’t exactly unaware of how… appalling he looked—he stayed in the shadows, hiding in the darkness. After what seemed like a few hours, he finally spotted the silhouettes of your grandparents, distant but familiar.

“Yone? Is that you?” your grandfather said in disbelief, his tone still full of the same joy it had whenever he spoke to Yone and his brother. His eyes crinkled as he beamed at the younger man. “I haven’t seen you in… in years! You’ve changed!”

Your grandmother was less boisterous, though it was clear she felt happy to see him as well. Upon taking a proper look at him, her face fell, and she approached him with a concerned expression.

“It’s far too early for you to be like this,” she sighed. Yone wanted to argue that he wasn’t exactly young anymore, but he couldn’t bring himself to do so. “What happened?”

“It… is a long story,” Yone replied, his voice lacking the same strength and volume it had earlier in the day. Grief was such a fickle thing. He’d feel nothing one moment and everything in the next. He didn’t mourn himself, never had nor did he ever think it was necessary, but he did regret. Regretted being unable to protect his family, regretted being unable to protect your family. The curse laid upon him gave him the chance to atone, and even then, it never eased the chains wrapped around his soul.

He shook his head, pushing the thoughts aside. “I have a favour to ask of you.”

—

Yone was acting suspiciously.

To start, when you arrived at the clearing of the forest you usually trained with him, he wasn’t there. You didn’t know how long you waited until he arrived, offhandedly apologising for his tardiness. The sky had already faded into dark shades of blue, the sun nowhere to be seen and replaced with the moon peeking over the horizon. It might have been immature of you to scold him while being as huffy as a petulant child, but he didn’t seem to mind.

The day didn’t start out well for you, to say the least. The only things spoken around town were how excited people were to see their late relatives again and how much they looked forward to spending time with them for the next three days. It wasn’t like you wanted to feel bitter about it all. You were glad on their behalf, but the feeling of being the odd one wasn’t something you could control that easily. You wanted to be able to experience the same magic and happiness the others did.

As if that wasn’t enough, a councillor—likely the same one you overheard that time—left you a letter summoning you to a meeting the same night. If you didn’t know better, you would’ve kept that in mind and made sure you arrived in time. But you knew what it was going to be about. You were already in a loveless family. A loveless marriage wouldn’t make your life better and the only one benefiting from it was your father. You didn’t exactly like being spiteful (it’s a sin, a monk would say) but there was nothing wrong with it if they deserved it, was there? You ripped the paper to shreds, threw it out somewhere you couldn’t remember. It didn’t matter as long as you got rid of it.

There were a lot of things to be angry about, like how irritating it was to still be under your father’s control as an adult, or how they all never broke their habit of speaking as though you weren’t there. It didn’t mean you liked being angry. You weren’t built for such aggression.

You shook your head. Now wasn’t the time to be thinking about this.

“You’re late.” You didn’t mean to say it as whiny as you did. Overly aware of how you sounded, you looked away from Yone and crossed your arms over your chest, ignoring whatever reaction he had to it. “I’ve been here for hours.”

“I’m sorry. I… had something to attend to,” he said. “I have something to show you. Follow me.”

Without realising it, you pouted. “And you have the nerve to boss me around…”

Yone’s silence made you begrudgingly glance at him again. He looked anxious, which was a surprise—you always saw him so calm and collected. It was… concerning. You sighed. He didn’t seem like he meant to leave you waiting for so long. Heaving out a quiet sigh, at last, you relented.

“Fine. Lead the way.”

The walk was quiet. You had a bunch of questions in your mind, both from curiosity and a bit of pettiness you had left. He deftly navigated through the woods, turning back once in a while to see if you were still following him. It was dark, almost as dark as it had been when you met him in that storm for the first time, but you weren’t as afraid anymore, either. You couldn’t describe it. Something about him felt safe. It could be that it was because he saved you from death and helped you become stronger. You didn’t think that was it, though.

You caught up to him, now walking beside him rather than behind. “Where are we going?”

He didn’t answer. You huffed. Fine.

But you couldn’t stay annoyed for long. You found your gaze drifting over to him; the curves of his mask, the clenching of his jaw. How was it possible for someone who scared you so much when you first met to also be someone who you’d trust with your life? You knew nothing about him. He was a strange person, impeccable swordsmanship aside. He never spoke about his family or his home. He was familiar with the village like he lived here before, but you’d never seen him. Just who was he?

Yone led you to a cliffside. The trek—how wasn’t he tired?—felt worth it in the end when you saw the night sky. The crescent moon smiled at you from her place among the scattered stars, sparkling and glowing brightly on what would normally be pitch black. A hand was placed on the small of your back, taking you by surprise and making your breath hitch before you relaxed. It was just him.

“I brought you a gift,” he said plainly. You narrowed your eyes at him. He didn’t look like he was one for gifts, but who were you to decline? It must be a reward or something, or an apology because you were left for hours—

Someone called your name. A familiar voice, one you hadn’t heard in years. You must be imagining it. They were dead, there was no way it could be. Were you so tired that you were imagining things?

“They’ve been waiting for you.” Yone gently pushed you forward. “Go.”

Sceptical as you were, once again, you relented.

The figures were clearer the closer you approached. You recognised the clothes, the voices—was this a prank? Would someone like Yone play such a cruel joke?

“You’ve grown so much,” came the voice of your grandmother, laced with a tenderness you’d recognise from anywhere.

“How…” you trailed off. Your grandparents stood in front of you, happiness radiating off of them in waves as they walked your way. You didn’t know what to think, what to feel. Weren’t they supposed to be dead? Were you hallucinating? “I don’t understand…”

“It’s us, kiddo.” Your grandfather placed a hand on your head, ruffling your hair affectionately. It was cold, but it felt real, too real. “We came to see you.”

You fell apart. Tears sprung to your eyes as you fell into their arms, broken sentences and wailing leaving you at its will. It was real. You didn’t understand it. You weren’t supposed to be able to see them, to see spirits—you didn’t have that gift, your father always made sure you knew that. So how was this possible? How could you see them, touch them, feel them?

“We tried to come find you every year,” your grandmother spoke, her voice as soft as a whisper. “But we—we couldn’t come in. The estate, it’s… locked away from us.”

“You left me,” you snivelled, “you left me here—you…”

You didn’t know what you were saying anymore. Giving up on trying to voice your thoughts, you kept crying until you grew weary, the devastated weeping gradually dissolving into shaky breaths. You felt her hand on the top of your head, lovingly smoothing down your hair as she hummed the tune she always sang to you when you were young. Your grandfather leaned down to press a kiss to your temple, chuckling under his breath—they were as overjoyed as you were.

“We can’t stay for long,” he murmured. “But we really wanted to see you. That young man helped us. Quite the man you’ve found, hm?”

“He’s just a friend,” you grumbled. As cross as you were with him earlier, you were thankful that he’d done this for you. There were many unanswered questions you had lingering in the back of your mind, but those weren’t that important anymore, you thought. Finally pulling away, you smiled for the first time that night. “I missed you.”

“We missed you too, sweetheart.” Your grandmother returned the gesture, brushing your stray tears away with her thumbs. “Why don’t you come sit with us, tell us what you’ve been up to?”

As you followed them, you turned to look back at Yone, mouthing ‘thank you’ with another smile. He nodded. You learned to pick up on his cues in the past month you spent with him, so you knew what he meant. You’re welcome. He wasn’t the best with words, preferring to let his actions speak for themselves. You wondered if he knew how important this was, how you’d always remember his kindness.

Lost in conversation with your loved ones, you missed how Yone’s stern expression melted into fondness as he watched the scene, the corners of his lips curling up just the slightest. It was the happiest he’d ever seen you.

(And it was the moment he knew—he’d do whatever it took to protect your smile.)

—

Existing somewhere in a plane between life and death, Yone spent his days on autopilot with only one goal in mind. Cursed for as long as his afterlife would last by the azakana, he’d continue to hunt them down one by one until there was nothing left. He saw his ‘life’ differently, ‘felt’ differently.

Bound to the world of the living, denied the peace of death, as he used to say. Time was no longer so important to him now that he became what he was. It passed as it willed, and he would only follow until it was over—assuming it would ever be. Yone didn’t care—or rather, he just tried not to think—about the state of life, the meaning of his existence. If he was bound to duty, at least he’d try to accomplish this one, unlike what he failed in his youth.

He should have left Ionia when he killed the last azakana in that temple. But more and more showed up every day, dangerously close to where you lived, and he knew that they would come find you again eventually. Deciding to take your request wasn’t an impulsive decision. He found your determination admirable even with the chains that held you back. It reminded him of who he had been. Who he craved to be once again. He tried to keep himself distant, staying within the boundary of just a kind stranger, but before he knew it, he found himself feeling tethered to you.

You weren’t just someone he saved. You were someone he had grown increasingly fond of. Yone knew you were kind, that you had a lot of love to give even to those who didn’t deserve it. He believed in his ability to predict what would happen, to adapt to sudden changes, but nothing could’ve prepared him for the whirlwind that was you.

For the first time in years, he felt alive, and it was all because of you. Your smile, your voice, the way you’d playfully talked back to him, the way you were always concerned for him. That much still held true as he sat beside you on a hill, his gaze focused on you over the sunrise you meant to show him.

He didn’t expect you to invite him to something that could be seen as so intimate. He didn’t expect himself to agree without a second thought either. He prided himself on being someone who always thought before he did anything, but something about you had him caving into his whims more frequently. He’d find that irritating if he was the same young man he used to be, but he didn’t. If he was bold enough, maybe he’d go as far as to admit that he liked how you made him feel.

It seemed his gift for you had changed you overnight. You weren’t mad at him anymore; if anything, you seemed to be more gentle with him. Like you saw him differently. He didn’t want to assume you did—that would be unfair to you.

This was what made it difficult for him to leave.

He couldn’t stay here for long. Fate would guide him to other places, more obscure and dangerous, and as much as he felt like he overstayed his welcome with you, he didn’t want to go. He didn’t know if he’d get the chance to see you again, to talk to you again. Getting attached to what could be temporary wasn’t a smart idea—he knew that. But for once, he wanted to let himself live again.

Seeing your face fall when he told you about his imminent departure was, perhaps, the worst he ever felt. He lived through countless battles; the scars on his hands proved that. He didn’t lose his senses even with his state of being a ‘ghost’ of sorts. He still felt the sting of a cut, the aches in his muscles after exerting himself. Emotions, on the other hand, were more complicated. Growing up with his brother, he had to be stern, calm and confident. He had to be assertive. He had to be strong.

With you, he could let all of that go. He wouldn’t lose his habits, he didn’t want to, but with you, he could let his guard down.

“Yone?” you broke the silence. He blinked, suddenly overly aware that he had been staring at you like a fool in love. Maybe he was. “Are you alright?”

“I am. I’m sorry for worrying you,” he responded. “I was only… thinking of the future.”

“You’re leaving soon, aren’t you?”

“I am.”

You went silent. He frowned, wondering if he should’ve kept it a secret after all. He didn’t want to hurt you. He never did.

“Well, if you decide to come back here one day,” you said, reaching for his hand. Your skin felt warm against his own. “Just know that I’ll be here waiting for you.”

Yone felt like time and the world stopped for him.

“I know I’m a lot to handle.” He didn’t think you were. Still, he didn’t interrupt, letting you speak your mind. “And I know this is just some favour, but you know… I’ve grown pretty fond of you. I’d be sad if you left without telling me.”

Your tone was lighthearted, playing off your words as if they were only a joke in case he didn’t feel the same. He felt warm—the warmest he’d ever been—and he was never one to be timid, but you always managed to bring that out of him with ease.

Yone said your name. You hummed, urging him to continue.

“You should be proud of yourself,” he said. The words felt unfamiliar to him, foreign, but he needed you to know. “Like I am of you.”

You smiled. He wanted to engrave this sight into his memory, make it something he would never forget. You teasingly nudged him with your elbow, giggles leaving your throat as you replied without missing a beat, “So you’ve grown fond of me too, huh?”

This was the most casual you had ever been with him. It was a nice change, he thought, one that he really liked. In a matter of a few weeks, you’d gone from a meek, terrified person into someone confident and much happier than you were when he first met you.

“I have, indeed,” he replied. Perhaps more than I should.

With another chuckle, you fell back into a silence that was tranquil this time, more comfortable. He wondered if it was obvious that he was staring at you—he was trying not to be, but he was always told his gaze was intense. It didn’t seem to be an issue with you. Sighing in contentment, he let his eyes wander back to the sunrise before him. The last day of the Spirit Blossom was fast approaching, which meant that you’d once again find yourself in a busy schedule. But he didn’t have to think about that, so he stopped. Instead, he let himself indulge in this rare moment with you, thinking of nothing but how much things have changed. How much he has changed.

You never let go of his hand. Neither did he.

—

“Will you be going back too? To the spirit world?”

He did say he would be leaving, after all. You weren’t really sure what you’d do if he left. His presence had become something you were accustomed to. Since the moment he found you again in the forest, your routine seemed to have more and more of him. It would feel odd, having something you were so used to just disappear so suddenly. You knew you’d get over it, but you didn’t want to.

“I’ll be staying in the human world,” he said, “only elsewhere.”

A selfish part of you wanted him to stay. You liked having him around. With him, you could forget all about the people who shunned you. Your initial lack of strength or inability to use magic never bothered him; he saw you for who you were, treated you like any person should be treated. You weren’t lying when you told him that you’ve grown fond of him—you truly did.

No, you didn’t want him to leave. But he had to.

“I see,” you whispered. “I guess this is goodbye, then.”

The longer he took to reply, the more anxious you became. The familiar stinging of your nose and the watering of your eyes had you trying to hide your face from him. You promised yourself you wouldn’t cry. A quiet whimper was all you let slip before you held back the onslaught of tears. You didn’t want him to think you were strange. Someone who got more attached to him than they should’ve. Someone lonely, desperate for company.

“Would you like to join me?”

Even with his mask on, you could still feel Yone’s gaze on you.

“What?” you echoed dumbly. You must’ve misheard him. You could’ve sworn you just saw his lips twitch like he was amused by something. “What do you mean?”

“You’ve said before that the only thing stopping you from leaving was your fear,” he continued. “You’ve become stronger. You fight well, by yourself and by my side. We might also be able to find your mother if we travel together. And, I…”

He trailed off, seemingly to collect his thoughts before he added, quieter, “I enjoy being with you.”

Flustered, you couldn’t say a word. It took a while before you could properly process what he said.

“You mean…”

“Yes. I’d like you to come with me.” He cleared his throat, hesitating as if he was nervous. “You can decline if you’d—”

Yone was cut off by you tackling him into a hug, nearly sending him falling backwards had he been unable to keep his balance. You buried your face in his neck, smiling against his skin before you pulled away to properly look at him. Seeing how close you were made your eyes widened, and you were about to pull away before he leaned down to kiss you softly, which you melted into with ease.

Hesitantly, he pulled away. You could’ve sworn he was blushing. “I assume that’s a yes…?”

“You already know what I meant, Yone.” You grinned, unable to resist the urge to tease him. “You just want me to say it.”

“Well, it… would confirm my thoughts.”

“Of course, it’s a yes!”

“I must warn you it won’t be easy,” he hesitated, giving you another chance to say no. Like he couldn’t believe that you wanted to join him. “So if you don’t want to come, you don’t have to… Why are you laughing?”

“I mean it, you old fool,” you teased.

“Old fool—”

“I would love to come with you.” You curled into his side, laying your head on his shoulder as you watched the river flow in front of you. “I’m not scared anymore. I have you.”

Yone pulled you closer, leaving a ghost of a kiss on the crown of your head. “And I have you.”

It felt like something straight out of a fairytale. You were going to leave this wicked place with someone you fell in love with. You couldn’t believe it was happening, but it was, and your heart raced, not out of fear but out of excitement.

You couldn’t wait for the adventures you’d have together.

[lurkingshan]

Unknown Episode 11

Well, let me get this out of the way upfront. This episode brought us to the big moment we've all been waiting for, the final turn in Yuan and Qian's relationship--and unfortunately, it didn't quite land.

I've been sitting with this episode, contemplating my disappointment with the first sequence, and I think it comes down to this show that has been so assured and confident through most of its run faltering at the crucial moment and seeming to lose faith in its own storytelling to the point that it used editing tricks to compensate. The choice to chop up and sequence this narrative lynchpin of a scene out of order is baffling, and it's a choice that significantly stepped on the most important emotional climax of the story. I was confused to go from the conversation outside to a sudden kiss, then disappointed when we cut back to a very short exchange between Qian and Yuan that was supposed to provide the basis for this turn with only some thin dialogue that didn't connect the beats of the scene, and then into an intense sexual encounter (that was constantly interrupted by repetitive flashbacks) that should have felt like a triumphant and revelatory moment but didn't because of the way we got there.

I know I'm not the only one feeling that way, since folks have been creating and distributing reedited versions of the scene, and Youku actually uploaded a new version free on YouTube with all the flashbacks removed (a clear move toward fan appeasement after the show received a lot of negative feedback on the scene). The editing and the flashbacks were annoying, but honestly the fundamental problem was the scene they wrote did not sufficiently sell the change for Qian--he goes from saying he is still not certain what he wants to being ready to be dicked down in a couple minutes' time, with nothing in the exchange providing any new information or impetus for the shift. The performers did great work but unfortunately the writing and directing and editing decisions around this sequence were just bad; it's frustrating for this to happen with arguably the most important scene of the romance.

A note about the novel: the way this final turn happened there was quite different and, candidly, better in just about every way, from the impetus for the change to the beats of the revelation to the progression of physical intimacy on a pace that felt much more attuned to the emotional complexities at play. I do not know why the show did...this when they had better source material content to work with, but here we are. I absolutely recommend that anyone who loves this show read it!

So, with that disappointment expressed, on to the rest of the episode, in which Yuan and Qian settled into their couple era. I was deeply amused by Qian taking to their sex life like a moth to a flame to the point of daydreaming in meetings, but I do wish the episode had focused more on the natural tension and role confusion that should have resulted from this huge shift in their relationship. They touched on that a bit in the scene where Yuan asked Qian if his hug was from his brother or his boyfriend, but they didn't delve into those complexities in the way I hoped they would. I enjoyed their date at the local restaurant (and loved their friendly neighborhood gangster helping to set the mood) and how much it felt like they were surrounded by their history as they moved through all of these familiar locations where they've had important moments. I didn't much care for the insertion of the health scare plot or the time spent on Le and the doc, though I'm always happy for more Sam Lin even if it comes in the form of a weird late stage and wholly unnecessary ship.

My favorite scene between Yuan and Qian in this episode was far and away the discussion on the stairs with Qian reflecting on his fears of becoming more like his mother and Yuan biting him to snap him out of his fatalistic attitude (this felt like such a classic Priest tribute, she always has biting in her romances). It was a helpful re-centering of what they do for each other and why Yuan is an important presence in Qian's life. I didn't think we needed the health scare for Qian, but I did love Qian choosing to go to this place where he found Yuan to contemplate his life and what matters, with Yuan in turn reflecting that even though he's seen a lot more of the world now, he still prefers to come home to this street. I found that exchange so moving and I think it was important for Qian to hear that.

And that scene led to my other favorite thing in this episode, which was everything to do with Lili and her bond with her brothers. I teared up to see her standing against the wall where Qian has measured their growth talking about the sneaky ways she would try to care for Qian when they were younger, with San Pang listening attentively and gazing at her adoringly. It was such a small moment, but a really lovely window into their relationship dynamic and the shared history they also have together. And when Yuan and Qian came in hand in hand and she just ran to them and offered up her love and acceptance, I felt so much warmth for this family and everything they've survived together.

[nalyra-dreaming]

re: Armand & Lestat's motives for the trial, I'm sure s3 will fill in some blanks wrt Lestat (e.g. if/how he was forced to take part etc) though I didn't find his motives that confusing, i just hope the show does a good job w/ the additional context!

Armand though...I wonder if he'll give an honest account of it all one day? We can speculate that he sold Louis out bc he was disillusioned by their romance, felt unable to fully trust (i.e. control) him & feared inevitable abandonment, so he chose the safety of the coven. I'm satisfied by that explanation as is, I just wonder if we'll ever hear it from him. In the context of the interview itself he clearly had a stranglehold over the narrative & was never about to admit to anything too incriminating. He finally felt secure in his relationship w/ Louis imho and wanted to protect it. But now he has nothing left to lose & no particular reason to lie or cling to the "beige pillow" persona any more. I can't wait to see where they'll take him from here, I'd love to see him go full gremlin-mode for a bit??

Haha, yeah, I hope we see the "full gremlin" mode, too, tbh, preferably in the/a modern day DM chase part! (Though the past DM chase part is also high on my wish list^^)

I think it could be IMMENSE fun to have this (older) Daniel and Armand go at it *cackles* Including the microwaves and everything *g*

No, but on a more serious note, I do hope that the phase for Armand to tell a bit of his story, and to reflect on his part in it all will happen in the show as well - or, maybe, in the spin-off that was once planned, "Night Island".

But then... I mean, even in his own book Armand does not fully ... let's say "explain". He just offers the statement that "he could not love her" (Claudia), and that is why she didn't mean anything to him.

So, IDK. Because yes, his motives... are actually clear, right. He couldn't trust their love - and so he fell back to what he could trust. :/

I don't see that as feeling secure in the relationship with Louis though, on the contrary - he is constantly watching and "spinning the web", as Assad calls it... if he had felt secure, he would not have needed to do that, imho.

But in any case... I cannot wait to see where they take him. Such a fascinating character!!! And we are sooooo lucky with Assad :)

[patchwork-crow-writes]

Kralsei is Doomed (and that's why I love it)

To me, Kralsei is a commentary on the idea of being in love with the idea of being in love - that is to say, being enthralled with the anticipation of courtship and falling in love, without really taking into consideration how the ensuing relationship would... actually work.

The depth of longing that is evident in Ralsei towards Kris is indeed intoxicating, and as I've mentioned previously, the game itself seems to push this pairing in the way that certain events are made to happen - most notably the acid tunnel of love running parallel to Noelle and Susie's heart-covered ferris-wheel ride. And add to that the whole nature of dark worlds as synonymous with dreams, fantasy and imagination. From a narrative perspective, the relationship seems almost destined to occur.

But I think Ralsei might find himself a bit adrift if and/or when he actually succeeds in wooing Kris... or the player, or whoever is predominantly in charge by that point. Like a dog chasing a car, I'm not certain he'd know quite what to do if he got what he was after, because at that point it stops being a flight of fancy and becomes real... which is very much the domain of the light world, and outside the darkness's purview.

And when getting swept up in the thrill of romance stories, it's easy to forget that the "struggle" does not end just because the couple share a tender kiss or whatever. Reality can, and often does, quickly ensue, and questions of long-term compatibility in the face of waning desire can spell doom for any relationship, no matter how "destined" it might seem in the run up to it.

This does not even take into consideration the biggest obstacle to this relationship - to exist in a form that we as players might recognise as reciprocal, it'd have to either be entirely confined to the dark world, or there'd have to be some way to bend the rules of Deltarune's reality to allow Ralsei to manifest in the light world, which... presents entirely new problems, not least because of the whole "Roaring" shindig.

Indeed, the more likely scenario, aside from the whole thing fizzling out or otherwise coming to an unfortunate end, is that Kris begins wearing the horned headband that is supposed to represent Ralsei, which as romantic a gesture as that might be, does not exactly live up to the promise that the pairing hints at... although in a strange way, such an outcome might end up strengthening the fantasy element of Kralsei, as a nascent relationship brought to a tragic end by the unflinching and immutable rules of light and dark. Such relationship never has to be actually tested by reality, which allows it to exist in a sort of crystalised state, a seemingly-perfect snapshot of a love that can perpetually exist in an idealised form.

It might be worth watching in future chapters to see how Kris and Ralsei's friendship develops, as it might give hints as to how Deltarune itself might end. Should the above come to pass, and the two come together only to be tragically wrenched apart by outside forces, it will suggest that the dark worlds will not be completely closed off, as the fantasy of Kralsei will be allowed to persist unchallenged by reality. If, however, they drift apart, or decide to remain friends only, or perhaps even if they break up mid-game, it would allow for a cleaner break between light and dark, suggesting some sort of sundering of the bridge between the two.

This, of course, sidelines any other interpretations of their relationship, such as an extended metaphor for self-love and acceptance, or of a coming-to-terms with the past, though I don't see that these can't co-exist alongside the above.

One final note: much of my focus has been on Ralsei rather than Kris, and there are grounds to argue that Kris does not wish, nor will they ever wish, to pursue a relationship with Ralsei. However, the fantasy of Kralsei's potential that exists both in Ralsei's head, and in players receptive to the game's suggestions, almost renders Kris's feelings and opinions on the subject moot. In other words: the reality of what Kris might want, even if that DOES end up wanting to be with Ralsei, is supplanted by the fantasy of their potential thrilling romance story.

In this, the core themes of Deltarune are again reinforced - Kris's choices do not matter, even if their choice would align with the fantasy-romance being suggested. This is not to suggest that I do not care what happens to Kris, but it does highlight that there is a narrative reason for Kralsei, or at least the idea of Kralsei, to exist in the game, and lends further weight to the idea that it is ultimately doomed to failure, regardless of the wishes of its participants.

[decepti-thots]

Brainstorm character thoughts?

First impression: This character archetype could get kinda old, kinda fast, ehhh.

Impression now: It did not. I love Brainstorm, and tbh I probably ought to talk about him more. He's just so fucking good. The trick the story pulls where on reread you realise there is a whole period he is undergoing a character arc in the background is fantastic, after you have all the context from Elegant Chaos. His weird friendship with Chromedome, the understated way him being an MTO seems to have impacted his apathy towards the war, the ambiguity of his connection with Quark versus the gravity the narrative affords his feelings anyway… just great shit all around. The potentially one-note "haha Funny Weapon Explode Snarky Man" character turning out to be that was such a good thing to experience reading through for the first time.

Favorite moment: Can I cheat. Every moment he has in Elegant Chaos. Oh fine I'll pick one, his inability to shoot "Megatron" but his bluffing about it to everyone even as they're all thinking the worst of him! That whole scene is so. Brainstorm. Brainstorm PLEASE.

Idea for a story: I wanted more of the Brainstorm-Rewind dynamic, and honestly what I truly do wish we had in canon is them having a conversation about what Brainstorm knows of Chromedome's past, self-destructive behaviour, re: his previous cojunxes. Brainstorm loves Chromedome, but in a very different way to Rewind- he can't have that idealized view Rewind has because Chromedome has screwed him over directly in ways Brainstorm has gotten so used to he barely expects better anymore. I would love to see that conversation between them.

Unpopular opinion: I don't take the ending of LL as any kind of confirmation that Brainstorm/Perceptor is canon. I think you can read it that way if you wish, but IMO it's not obviously the case and I broadly don't think resolving that little c-plot with romance is all that necessary, so as someone not into the ship or anything I don't really bother adding that element in when thinking about post-canon.

Favorite relationship: Chromedome and Brainstorm. Hands down. Their friendship is CRIMINALLY underappreciated in fandom if you ask me, they are weird and prickly and sarcastic and in some ways not even great for each other. And also, Brainstorm was going to erase himself from existence after seeing Chromedome have the war take everything from him one too many times. Like. God.

Favorite headcanon: Brainstorm is really ambivalent about his alt mode because it's a military one, but he's never really been able to work out what he'd prefer, so he hasn't re-framed despite that now being a possibility.

[neilgill]

Wish Defense I: The 'Complaints'

“Be to her virtues very kind, Be to her faults a little blind.” ― Matthew Prior

Disney's Wish was actually great and I'm here to defend it.

I'd like to start by negating most of, if not all, the 'complaints' this film's been getting. Please join me as I do this in 12 brief points:

Asha is a great protagonist. She is not just 'quirky' or one-dimensional: she's caring, strong, beautifully flawed, and doesn't solve every problem on her own; the movie makes a point of every one of these. I never saw her as a clone of someone like Mirabel or Anna. And she does have a character arc: she matures and learns to work hard for what she believes in. She learns that doing the right thing is difficult, but it's necessary. All this makes for a beautifully put-together character that gets through challenges and comes out stronger. Why aren't people talking about how great that is?

Magnifico is a great villain. He's an amalgam of familiar villains like Maleficent, Ursula, and Gaston, done in ways that seem fresh and unique. I've seen a lot of people say his motivation seems to change every few minutes or so, but I disagree. Him using his traumatic past is his excuse for his bad behaviour: that's what narcissists do. Just look at Mother Gothel and all her gaslighting. He was always a self-absorbed jerk who wants everyone under his heel, and whose darkness just got revealed more and more. And his 'villain shtick' is a cool and terrifying one: stripping people of their hopes and dreams to make them docile subjects who depend on him. He takes away their agency, essentially their souls and who they are as people. That is the bad thing he's been doing from Day 1, it's what makes him a villain: the film tells us that. How can people defend him? It's like people defending Gaston all over again. He's a great villain in that he goes against the values the story holds dear, challenges the protagonist in personal ways, is wonderful to hate, and is rightfully depicted as in the wrong for doing bad things. He's the selfish one, not Asha as the 'critics' are claiming. Why aren't people talking about that?

Star is a great secondary character. He is intentionally supposed to be a character that harkens back to those like Jiminy Cricket or Timothy Q. Mouse (I have a very personal connection with Dumbo, so this was important to me). People are REALLY misinterpreting that concept art of them: Star and Asha were never supposed to have a romance because Human Star would look like her grandfather. And 'Starboy' would just be a copy of Peter Pan or Genie, which people would definitely slam, thus I'm glad they changed him. See point 11 for more on Star and why his current form is the one they went with. People just care about having a Jack Frost clone (if they did go that route, they'd probably be slammed for copying Dreamworks, knowing 'critics'). The idea of a mute, magical sidekick, something that we haven't seen since Tinker Bell, is a pretty fun one that feels new and cool. And it's important to note that he never grants anyone's wish: he just helps out, letting Asha and others know that they themselves have to make it come true. Why aren't people talking about that?

I was really worried Valentino was going to be little more than a gag, but he wasn't. He helps out here and there, especially when aiding the Teens in freeing the wishes, proving his importance to the narrative. Plus I did find him pretty funny.

The Teens do stand on their own. I went into the movie knowing they were going to be new versions of the 7 Dwarfs, but each of them felt like their own unique person to me, especially Dahlia and Simon.

The animation is gorgeous: you have to watch it in HD or 4k, which people are doing for other films like Spider-Verse or Nimona, just not this one. It is far from 'lazy' or 'Disney Junior level': it harkens back to art styles Walt Disney himself loved. I can't believe they managed to replicate the feel of classic Disney backgrounds, like Snow White or Sleeping Beauty, so perfectly with modern technology. It looks like a painting, or a tapestry. Disney movies are still beautiful. Why aren't people talking about that?

The music is great: I've caught myself singing every song at least thrice. Each song brings something to the table. 'This is the Thanks I Get' fits Magnifico's character, and is something in the same vein as Gaston's song; you cannot tell me that one rent line is worse than 'nobody spits like Gaston'. I still get chills listening to 'This Wish' and its reprise. I don't know how people online are starting to think it's a bad song, but now others are just jumping on the bandwagon. You can see Asha's love and struggles within the song, and it even has the melody of 'Part of Your World'; how can you hate that? I've seen so many people personally connect with that song, myself included... Why aren't people talking about that?

'At All Costs' was never a love song between Asha and Star: Julia Michaels just wanted a love song (find that Variety article), and now it can be used for all kinds of love. I actually did tear up watching that sequence for the first time, seeing Asha hold her grandfather's wish dearly in her arms. I've seen people say it reminds them of what a parent would sing to their child, like 'You'll Be in My Heart', and I think that's just so wonderful and heartfelt. Why aren't people talking about that?

I don't have the actual post, but I'd like to bring attention back to what an artist on the film said: every 'Easter Egg' is meaningfully placed, a tribute to what has inspired generations. Not one of them felt shoehorned in to me. This movie is a tribute, a love letter, a celebration of what people have loved for 100 years. Why aren't people talking about that?

Magnifico's defeat is far from silly. It makes sense given the rules the world of the film runs on: the fact that 'we are made of stars' is a good Chekov's gun that carries a lot of meaningful importance. Each of us is special, each of us has magic, and each of us has hope. And this is where evil dies and good endures: Magnifico cannot comprehend that anyone but himself is worth anything, thus why he cannot quell this and it is the reason for this downfall. He, the villain, loses because he lacks the virtues the heroes possess. Why aren't people talking about that?

The story of this film is special: as confirmed by the staff, the film is an allegory for Walt Disney's life, and the story of Disney overall. Asha is Walt Disney, Star is Mickey Mouse: a magical force of creativity and inspiration that lights up a dark time. Because of the special nature of this, even though I'm a die-hard Disney fan, I'm fine with there not being any romance in this film (even though I'd like it back someday). This was intentionally made as a simple film à la Snow White, which was meant to be a happy, hope-giving film for people back in the 1930s. Just like this film is supposed to be now. One last time: why aren't people talking about that?

This is the first of a few posts I'll make defending this movie, so for other Wish fans out there, please stick around. I don't care if I get dragged for this: I'd rather stick up for my beliefs and defend myself my way than let online bullies like Schaffrillas, Aldone, or Astor Rhymemaster stop me from loving something I really enjoyed. I really hope this movie gets the Atlantis treatment and becomes a beloved cult classic down the line. Until next time.

[arteastica]

early in the morning, especially when it rains, and a little before noon. (19)

erwin x fem!reader

chapters: (1) | (2) | (3) | (4) | (5) | (6) | (7) | (8) | (9) | (10) | (11) | (12) | (13) | (14) | (15) | (16) | (17) | (18) | (20) | (21) | (22) | (23) | (24) | (25) | (26) | (27)

summary: I basically took Isayama’s work, forced it into a romance story, and made Erwin the love interest. Commander meets cadet and they fall in love (not instantly though)

notes: very berry canonverse (but some events were modified to fit my narrative), wasn’t intended to be this long, but it all is in the details right?

content warnings: smut where it fits (or where I make it fit. Also, reader is NOT underage, so likewise, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT, please.) slow burn (I really mean it. I’m not olympic diving into any form of smut for the first chapters.) no angst. I dislike angst. I would never. I could never. (Although angst can be somewhat subjective so take it with a grain of salt?)

wc: 2.7k

It was the kind of morning that encouraged the wearing of many layers. The thicker the better. And Sasha, who looked busy feeding soaked hay to the horses of a nearby stable, seemed to have reached that same conclusion before leaving her room that morning. You observed her as she struggled to drain the wet grass without dipping her fingers into the water, and realized you didn’t remember what she looked like under her scarf and wool hat.

Was this winter ever going to end?

The calendar gave a rather optimistic answer, but the weather seemed to be so very in love with the snow, and it didn’t look like it was letting go of its lover anytime soon.

You rubbed your gloved hands against each other and noticed how this was the first time you actually felt cold this season, even though the harshest days were already long behind. But back then, when low temperatures would make everyone complain, and the biting wind would paint their ears and fingers all shades of red, you could rely on your memories and the pleasant fire they lit within. And back then, you also had his body heat to keep you warm.

You glanced at the man standing beside you, his attention completely lost somewhere in the woods before him, and his hand, idly hanging to his side, looked especially inviting under this weather. And you wished you could reach out and take it, but you weren’t sure he would let you hold it.

His breath, turning into white mist as soon as it left his body, was clearly visible against the somber, almost starless twilight sky. His eyes were also a dark shade of blue this morning, and they seemed just as gelid as the sudden gust of wind that caused you to wrap your arms around yourself, rubbing your shoulders as you tried to shrink your body to a size that would be too tiny for the cold to spot.

“You can wait inside if you-”

“I’m fine.” You rushed to say, before realizing the hastiness in your voice risked coming across a little discourteous, and he was your boss after all. “It will start warming up once the sun rises a little more.” You explained, this time trying to soften your voice with a smile, a smile that you hoped didn’t look as unnatural and stiff as it felt on your own lips.

Yes, you had no doubt that the weather would warm up soon, because like a promise kept, the sun would always rise in the morning. And, as you thought about such kind of tacit, unspoken promises, you glanced up: The sky didn’t promise snow today. Maybe it would warm up a little after all.

But, was it really a promise or just your own foolish assumptions? In your case, there was always a bigger chance that it was the latter, and, therefore, throughout the years you had learned to not let yourself get too hopeful about things. That way, when it did snow later and you found your feet stuck under six inches of snow, buried so deep that you couldn’t move backwards and neither forwards, the disappointment wouldn’t hurt as much.

You could tell his eyes were on you, but you didn’t feel like looking back. Instead, you tried to find if there was even a single star still visible in the sky.

It had been almost a full week since he went back to work, and make no mistake, you were happy he did. You were glad to see him instead of the sad empty chair your eyes had been constantly met with for the past six weeks or so. However, it had also been a week since you moved back to your room. A full week since you last heard the raspy good mornings and lulling good nights he would whisper against your ear. A full week since you last engaged in any form of conversation that didn’t have the words ‘maintenance budget cuts’ or ‘decreasing staffing levels’ in them. A full week since you last saw him smile. At least at your way.

And most importantly, it had been a full week since you last felt the reassuring warmth of his lips against yours, and the sweet comfort of his arm around your body. A full week since you told him some very big words. And a full week since he didn’t say them back.

But, could you blame him for that? Not really, and you weren’t mad at him. Because, now that you had a lot of time to spend in the loneliness of your dark room, you started to consider the possibility that maybe he had his boundaries; and that maybe, just maybe, you had been overstepping them lately. Or who knows since when, to be honest.

There was something, however, that you knew very well.

You knew that the life of the Survey Corps’ Commander was already difficult enough as it was, and that he didn’t need any of his subordinates to make things more uncomfortable for him, whether that was with their irrational requests or the unsolicited confessions that left their mouth when they were in bed together. And, all things considered, you figured he could go back to sleeping alone. Not to mention he must be craving some personal space as well. After all, you had practically glued yourself to his side for a month.

As you let your mind travel to warmer moments lived during that month, you realized the silence was making you a little bit too nostalgic, so you welcomed the sound the leaves made as they drifted wherever the wind blew. As well as the distant clatter of hooves.

“They’re here.” He said, and you looked up to find the convoy in the distance. Within a few moments, the shapes grew in size, until they reached the entrance of the castle.

The enclosed carriage that was leading the caravan waited in front as two soldiers opened the gates. It was big and rather opulent, and the glossy finish on the wood told you that it had been polished very recently, and with such dedication that now it resembled a mirror. A mirror that, with its gilded features and painted panels, successfully reflected the personal taste of the owner, whose face remained anonymous thanks to the satin curtains covering the windows.

But the carriage wasn’t the only notable thing in the caravan. The four horses pulling it, as well as the two dozens waiting behind, were splendid enough to overshadow the sumptuous vehicle.

The commander walked to the entrance of the stables, and you followed behind, your eyes still captured by the mesmerizing creatures. When the carriage parked nearby and its doors opened, the identity of the owner was finally revealed: a middle-aged man of imposing height and cinnamon hair who looked surprisingly familiar, and that, judging by his elegant demeanor and conspicuous wardrobe choices, could be nothing other than the lord of some faraway estate.

He hugged the Commander as if they were the oldest of friends, and, as they laughed about some inside joke you were certain you wouldn’t get, you found yourself wishing things were as merry and jolly between you and him as it was between the two of them. But then again, you were pretty sure this old man had never said he was in love with him.

Although, to be fair, it was not like he was avoiding you. In fact, to an outsider it may even look like you were the one doing it. After all, you were the one who decided to move back to your room, and you were the one who was actively trying to keep your eyes glued to your desk instead of looking his way. You were also the one who decided to start leaving immediately after your shift ended.

A stranger reading your latest journal entries would be forgiven for thinking you were the one putting distance between you two, but you were convinced that anyone in your position would understand that it was not something you had chosen deliberately. You were merely reacting.

Reacting to what you felt and perceived: a switch in the atmosphere, a change in his eyes, the feeling of not being welcome anymore. You could see it there, in the icy blue of his irises, and that’s why you tried not to look at them. It made your throat tight and your vision blurry. So you decided it was best to look at the horses instead.

They were truly some of the most magnificent stallions you had ever seen. So bright and alert. The glow in their coat told you that all their nutritional requirements were met, and the bounce of their mane, that they were frequently groomed. You had once heard that even just one of these horses was worth an average person’s lifetime income. And you could see why.

But after some minutes of contemplation, wonder turned into gloom, as you found yourself feeling sorry for them. There was no way these innocent creatures knew about the dangers that awaited them. It was truly such a shame that such gorgeous animals had been born in a world like yours. They deserved to enjoy their days eating fresh grass and running up and down a green hill, somewhere in the middle of a picturesque countryside, and not to spend their lives outrunning titans.

But you tried to cheer yourself up by thinking that they would get to live good lives for as long as they could cling to them. After all, the scouts treated their animals with the utmost care and respect, almost as if they considered their horses to be comrades too.

To your right, you heard the Commander animatedly talking with the wealthy stranger. But your eyes were still lost among the horses, absentmindedly watching their mane dance in the wind. The sound it made when blowing through the trees, delicately rustling their leaves as if telling them it was time to wake up, was something you had always found relaxing. And you realized that, despite the uncomfortable cold, it was such a beautiful day in the forest. If only you could enjoy it.

You wished you owned the carefree disposition of that tall man who had just dismounted his horse and now seemed to be thanking it for the ride. He looked so content and joyful, utterly delighted with the simple act of ruffling its mane, and so did the animal. It looked as if the man was fluent in whatever language it is that horses speak. He looked a lot like a horse whisperer. He looked a lot like-

“Leon?” You heard your own voice calling seconds before the man turned around and smiled, confirming that was indeed his name.

“My lady.” As he made his way to you, his hazel locks danced to the exact same tune his horse’s mane did behind him. His hair had gotten longer, but his smile was as warm and welcoming as you remembered it.

“How come you’re here?” You asked, surprised to find this was the first time in days your smile felt like it belonged on your face.

“I’m accompanying my lord uncle.” He paused as he kissed the back of your hand. “This gentleman right here.” You looked at the man he was pointing at, the one standing next to him, and also the same tall stranger the Commander had been animatedly conversing with.

So this was Lord Koch. His face did look a little familiar after all.

“Commander Smith.” Leon gently let go of your hand before sending an acknowledging nod to the Commander, and extending his hand.

“Lord Angert.” The Commander shook the hand Leon was offering and smiled politely. “Thank you for traveling so far, my Lord. I hope the winter woods weren’t too rough.”

“As someone who was raised out in the cold, my esteemed Commander, I found the weather rather nostalgic.” As the two men shared a chuckle, you couldn’t help but join in, amused by Leon’s interesting way of speaking.

“We had to make a couple of small detours, as we weren’t sure if it was safe to travel anywhere near Ragako or Dauper.” Lord Koch explained. “That added at least half a day to our schedule. We should have been here by yesterday night, so I apologize, Erwin. I think Leon here was the only one who appreciated the change of plans.” He grinned at his nephew, and you noticed that Lord Koch’s eyes also had the tendency to turn into crescent moons when he smiled. “He really wanted to get a present for the beautiful lady here.” You blinked a few times to shake the confusion away when you suddenly felt all three men’s eyes on you.

Leon slipped a hand inside his jacket before handing you a tin box that was all too familiar to you. It did look like you were starting a collection after all, you had three of these now.

And for the first time in this bitter morning, you felt warm, the pleasant feeling immediately taking over your lips. You could really use the sugar today. The sugar, as well as the comfort only your favorite childhood treat could provide.

“Leon, you didn’t have to.” Your fingers reached for the present, unable to keep your lips from curving when you had the small box in your hands. You expected the metal to be cold, but it was actually comfortable to the touch, and rather warm from the cozy pocket he had kept it in all this time.

“Oh, it’s nothing. I figured since I was coming here anyway, I could at least bring you a piece of home.” He explained, using his hand to brush aside the importance of his kind gesture. “Although, I must admit the idea only found me after we were more than halfway through our journey here. But Luckily they had these in one of the villages we stopped by.”

You stared into the forest he had for eyes and wondered if you could find a friend there. Because you felt like you could really use one right now.

“Erwin, these were selectively bred to be approximately five feet tall and nine hundred pounds give or take.” You turned your attention to Lord Koch, who was pointing at the group of horses that was now being taken into the stables. “They may seem heavy but you don’t need to worry about maintenance out there in the field, they can get by perfectly fine on a simple diet, and travel many hours without complaining.” You eyed the horses, they certainly looked way more muscular than your average horse. “And their weight doesn’t affect their performance either. Their top speed is between forty to fifty miles per hour. Pretty impressive, right? We trained them to maintain a swift twenty two miles gallop, even when pulling a carriage. Like I said, a fine speed all the way through. But I don’t pretend you believe just my words. I actually would like to show you right now if you’re up for it. What do you say?”

The sound of the wind waking the leaves from their slumber was the only thing Lord Koch got for a reply. You turned to look at the Commander at the same time Leon did, and were surprised to find him staring back at you. An unreadable look in his icy blue eyes.

“Erwin?” Lord Koch called again and this time he seemed to have more luck in getting a reply.

“Yes, yes, we should.” The Commander said, eyes still fixed on you.

“I’ll get them ready, Uncle.”

“No, son, you can stay. Erwin and I are only going for a quick ride.” Lord Koch smiled to his nephew before turning to the Commander. “Let’s go, Erwin. Let’s leave these two to each other. I bet they have a lot to talk about.”

The Commander threw one last glance your way, a closed-mouth smile on his face, before turning around and following Lord Koch.

-

next chapter

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[notori]

On a more genuine note from my previous post though: I do not think Imodna will go the same way as Vaxleth for a few reasons.

Vax's story was very personal to Liam. It always frustrates me when people act like the Raven Queen 'took Vax away' (and thus she is a bad goddess) when in fact she answered his prayer and granted his wish. Vax's story is about "Take me instead!" - not some kind of "Don't let Vex die!", and certainly not someone who was raised from the dead without their consent and bound like a puppet. Unless such an ending is expressly what Marisha wants for her character, I don't see it being narratively satisfying. Even if Laudna dies in sacrifice to save the others, because of the breadth of Delilah's power, it would be more of a general "I'm dying to save everyone" and less personal (and impactful) than Vax's trading his life for Vex's.

I joked about how this is Delilah Briarwood vs Laura Bailey again, so don't sweat it, but it's true! The players play their characters differently. Liam loves tragedy and plays it well; Laura loves romance and plays it well. Percy also had a dark streak with a hunger for power, and Vex would not let him go. I see more parallels with themes like: "I feel cruel, but in control." and "Take the mask off." Meanwhile, Imogen and Keyleth are different characters and their love interests have different relationships with death. In the end, the reason Keyleth could not do anything against the Raven Queen isn't because she's a god and Keyleth is not, but because Vax - as a paladin - chose to honour his faith and uphold his end of the deal. Imogen is not in that position because Laudna is not in that position. Laudna may see herself as just a puppet, or a risk, or a dead end - but we the audience, and Imogen, know that she is not (maybe a bit of a calculated risk). If anything, I see us on the precipice of an arc of Imogen inspiring Laudna to fight for her independence again and figuring out a way to do that (this is a world of magic after all).

And that theme of fighting for independence is something that has been there since the beginning. We have seen it both in analysis and confirmed on 4SD that Laudna's relationship with Delilah is in many ways similar to struggling with addiction. And now, into year three of C3, we are really seeing that take form when things get rough. When things get out of control, when you get desperate, that's when you grasp at anything to make it easier. It would be a real kick in the teeth to have her not overcome that struggle. Of course, there's the possibility that she does overcome that struggle by getting rid of Delilah and dying as a result. But out of game it has been referred to more in line with addiction that is constantly managed rather than addiction that is ended cold turkey - which for some people is the only way. I'll admit this one is more a personal preference but I do see it overall leaving a bad taste if Laudna were to die from Delilah in some way (again). Presuming they resolve issues with the solstice and resurrection spells, True Resurrection does exist and I'm certain the Hells would work off a 25k GP debt to bring Laudna back for good (which I see as more of a final episode/epilogue/post-game situation).

Regardless, it's a beautiful story and I'm sure that whatever happens will be what the players want. However, in this case I genuinely don't see them repeating something they have done before. Although we saw many parallels last night, there is still much which sets Imodna and Vaxleth apart narratively.

[somuchbetterthanthat]

A little Gwen&Alice with heaavy alice/sam, because I needed to write something after that last ep and tumblr ficlets are less intimidating than full fics.

In hindsight, hiding in the loo is dumb. Sam's making her dumb, which is aggravating and bothersome and does not horribly ache like it used to, before, in those last few weeks they'd stayed together in the same flat while Sam prepared his trip abroad. Alice's a Cool Girl. Cool girls don't hide in bathrooms because their best friend who just so happen to be their ex arrived to the office at the arm of another woman with the sparkly bubbly smile that screams I had such a good time this weekend Celia is awesome at sex.

Then again, Alice's pretty sure her Cool Girl's crown's been stolen the moment Celia walked in with those stupid donuts for the first time (and it is painful, in a way, that Celia is cool to hang around with; pretty and fun and chill and blessed with the same ability Sam has to be friendly with everyone she meets immediately).

Whatever; Alice's excellent at building new narratives and looking away to survive. She'll withstand having Sam back in her life and then feeling like she's loosing him all over again like a fucking champ -- but she has to admit, hiding in the loo was just not a good move, 'cause now she's got to not only deny her sad moody depressing feelings, but also the fact that Gwendolyn Bouchard is clearly weeping on the stall next to hers.

"Hey," she whispers, after three long minutes of wondering whether she wants to deal with this, then deciding it's the sort of night where she'd definitely rather think of someone else's problems than her own.

There's mouvement on her left, then a sharp exhale. "What?" hisses Gwen.

"Want to tell me what this is all about?" Alice asks, staring at the door.

"No," Gwen snaps. Then: "We're in a bathroom, Alice, for god's sake, do you have any sort of decorum--"

"Exactly!" Alice cuts her off. "We're in a bathroom. That's basically being in a confessional for us ladies, innit? Sure we're not drunk out of our heads at the club or whatever, but I think this qualifies all the same. Everything you'll say is sacred in here my dear. Any sin is between you, me, and those awful scratchy paper roll that we're always out of. Hope you've got an handkerchief ready, by the way."

It must strike a nerve, because Gwen stays silent for a good thirty seconds before she mutters: "Anyone could come in."

"Oh, please," Alice snorts. "We both know Lena's not human enough to have to use the loo and Celia's too busy getting lost into Sam's eyes, we're fine."

"Why do you say that?" Gwen asks, her tone suddenly more alert.

"...'Cause Celia is getting lost in Sam's eyes? I mean, I know you have your whole thing going on and you're wayy better than us now that you got that shiny promotion you wanted so much, but they've literally been building this whole sickening little office romance just in front of our noses for like, two months, surely you haven't missed that. Kinda surprised you haven't actually told them this was against regulations or whatever."

"No not Celia, I don't care about her, or whatever's going on with Sam (Lucky you, Alice thinks meanly, and has to bite her tongue very hard). I mean about Lena. Do you think she's --" Gwen stops, exhales shakily. "Now, that'd be ridiculous. Obviously. She's nothing like --"

Oh, Alice thinks. Oh, Gwendolyn. She wishes people would listen to her, when she says to look away. Sam and Gwen are similar that way, she notes. All too ready to dig themselves into messes that are much too big for them to take on.

"I was making a joke," she tells Gwen. "I do that, sometimes. Oh, not very often of course, you know me, all too serious for this sort of nonsense, but I have heard before that it can lighten the mood here and there--"

"God, you are unsufferable."

"Is that how you talk to your priest, Gwendolyn? Shame on you."

"I'm leaving now. This is all pointless, and we've got work to do anyway."

"Do we ever," Alice sighs.

"You've been here for like, twenty five minutes, by the way," Gwen adds. "If you want to keep pretending you're not the one mooning over Sam, you might want to come out soon."

[alpydk]

"Fanfic Writer Ask Game"

Oh you want it, you got it! We're into deep, we're into deep❗ 👏😆I want to know it all

❤️💥👻👓🦈🌻💛💭🧪

Oh damn! You got it, you precious demon of chaos! Love it!

❤️ What is your favorite line that you’ve written in a fic?

I have too many that come to mind, The eclipse moment is the obvious one, but that's technically 2 lines so going to with this from Disgusting, tainted, used - "You’d made your bed, and now you had lain in its ethereal sheets." - Such a simple and common phrase but altered slightly and the guilt/self blame behind it sticks with me bad.

💥 What is one canon thing that you wish you could change?

I'm honestly stumped. Like I know, I want more of the Gale/Durge confrontation after the coronation, especially if you're romancing him, but that's not so much a change. I think I'd want the Mystra stuff changed, if anything. I'm not getting on either side of the discussion and what needs changing, only that it needs some proper planning, so there isn't a discussion. Maybe just a better timeline, who this Mystra really is in the scheme of things rather than just metadata and speculation. (Yes, I've seen the many posts.)

👻 What is your wildest headcanon?

That Aradin is a lawyer. He's given it up thinking that being an adventurer would be easier, and this is why he has a (probably very detailed) contract with Lorroakan. He wasn't a talented lawyer, instead one of those intro to the Ace Attorney type prosecution lawyers that you'd get for free. It also explains why he's not that good in a fistfight.

👓 What helps you focus when you write?

Music, particularly if it's not in a language I speak, so Kpop, Breed 77 (Spanish), Rammstein (German). Things like that.

🦈 Which character is the toughest to write?

Elminster by far. Take a normal sentence, flower it up, flower it up some more. Is it understandable? No, then you've not gone far enough. For someone like me who's very straight to the point, writing him hurttttt....

🌻 How often do you read your own fics?

Quite a lot, actually. I'm a huge fan of my own work. I've got everything I like, excess angst, likeable characters, and I update my fics often. Why wouldn't I read it all the time?

💛 What is the most impactful lesson you’ve learned about writing?

That I'm writing for me and me alone and fuck the haters. Like really, as someone who is extremely sensitive to the reactions of others, learning this (and still learning it) has been the most important thing. I still have days where I don't see the notes tick up and I think why do I bother, but then as I'm writing it, sitting in that imaginary world of my creation, I realise that I'm happy anyway, and I don't need other people's validation to have that.

💭 What inspires you and your writing?

Music is a big inspiration for me. I might hear a song or see a lyric and think that suits X character. How can I get that to fit in a narrative sense? And from there it just builds up. The entirety of Eclipse was based on one song alone.

🧪 Do you research for your fics?

I might check up on something if I'm unsure, colours for example or what the name of a specific thing is. I know for Ink Stains I had to look quite a bit into codependent relationships to make sure I was hitting the topic correctly, like I had my own experiences to go on, but it didn't feel enough.

Right anyway - Rugan isn't going to save himself at this rate but thank you for the ask. I really don't get enough (shameless hint to those reading this :p)

[thosearentcrimes]

Read Romance of the Three Kingdoms by Luo Guanzhong (probably?) in the translation by Moss Roberts. It's very very very long. Sometimes, it's entertaining. I wish it had spent more time being entertaining.

The basic problem of the book is that the sections of it that are historical fiction are mostly bad. There is only one character who is particularly fun as part of the historical fiction sections, and it is Cao Cao, with his classic catchphrase "My thoughts exactly" (other characters say it too sometimes, but Cao Cao responds to every situation by asking someone what they think and then going "My thoughts exactly", though Roberts never translates it quite with that wording and I'm not sure why). What can I say, I love an evil schemer. I love a good schemer too, but Zhuge Liang is more often than not boring in the historical sections.

Where Zhuge Liang is really fun, and undeniably the best character in the book, is in his Mysterious Taoist Priest Troll guise. Nearly every character who gets to have a fictional interlude is fun while it is taking place, and Zhuge Liang has more of them than anyone else, and they are generally longer. The best extended passage in the book, which is a Zhuge Liang special, is the expedition against the Southern Man people. Unfortunate that it's also the most racist, can't win them all.

The translation notes by Moss Roberts are essential, of course. I don't think the book would mean very much to me without them. Even in such basic elements as noting when a use of the word "nine" indicates there are nine of something, or whether it is used to mean "all". I probably would have noticed the suspicious frequency of the numbers 9 and 81 even without the notes, but they are very helpful. The notes are also essential in untangling the various commentaries and versions from the text.

Where the novel is strongest is when it engages in repetitions on a theme. The seven captures of Meng Huo, Guan Yu slaughtering his way to the border, even the three trips to see Zhuge Liang, all of it is very fun. Unfortunately the novel is also weakest when it engages in repetitions on a theme, trying to stuff historical contingency into a moralizing narrative.

I can't say I think Romance of the Three Kingdoms is particularly worth reading on balance, unless you are interested in it as a text to study in a literary manner. I can see why people like abridging it so much because it has some really strong sections. I'll be reading Journey to the West soon enough probably, and I'm cautiously optimistic about it, since it seems like it will have more of what I do like and less of what I do not.

[roninkairi]

MOVIE REVIEW- Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire (Mild Spoiler Alert About Phoebe Included)

Let me get something off of my chest before we begin: I've been apprehensive about taking sites like Rotten Tomatoes or IGN seriously when it comes to reviews. I mean, I am aware that the purpose of the former is to show the average score of a movie among critics but I rarely take it at face value. (Hence my enjoyment of "The Super Mario Bros. Movie") and as for the latter, the quick summary of their review gave off the wrong kind of vibes, as if the person who wrote it was expecting some sort of Citizen Kane level masterpiece. And I get it, a lot of people set their expectations for a Ghostbusters movie, ANY movie, high. MAybe sometimes a little too high. For me, a good indication of whether or not I want to see a film is how the trailer portrays it. When I saw the trailers for Madame Web, for example, I wasn't too sure if it was something ! would want to see willingly in the theaters and, judging by critic and audience responses, my decision not to see it was well founded. The trailers for Frozen Empire however had the opposite effect, and I'm glad it did, as it really is a good movie all things considered.

Taking place about 3 years after the events of "Afterlife", the story returns us back to NYC where it all began: The Spenglers and Gary Grooberson have moved into the firehouse and take over the operations of the business, while Winston has opened up a new research center in Brooklyn (seriously, Brooklyn? I'm sure Queens would have had some better spots nearby.) However, the story begins to pick up steam once Ray acquires a relic that houses something decidedly sinister and soon, it will require both new and old team members to stop the threat.

The main story of course focuses on Phoebe and her rather rebellious streak (yeah, we all reached that part in our teen years when we thought we knew better) but surprisingly enough, Ray is also part of the story as sort of a mentor figure to Phoebe and Podcast (who, like Lucky, have become interns in the company as a way to explain why they are in New York). Both of them find themselves in a situation where they are sidelined because of their actions out on the field but for different reasons. Its interesting to note since we never really got to see much of Ray's interactions in the first two movies (of course the video games counter this) and Phoebe's character is slowly fleshed out more; here she is quick to anger, seems more assured of herself and more impulsive, which gets her into trouble. In short: she's a teen with a unlicensed nuclear accelerator on her back and a chip on her shoulder. Oddly enough though, she is the one sibling between herself and Trevor who seems to have gotten more attention in the potential romance department. While it's good to see Lucky return, I wished they had tried to further the potential relationship between herself and Trevor, as hinted at in the end of the previous movie. But for the purposes of the story, it's Phoebe and her maybe-girlfriend that we get to explore (yes, you read that right but I won't elaborate further since that is a big Twinkie to digest). Trevor gets relegated to a mini side story with an old ghost friend however...

That's another thing I wanted to touch on, the side stories themselves. Kumali Ali Nanjiani, one of the supporting cast members, said in an interview this movie drew inspiration from The Real Ghostbusters" cartoon series and in many aspects, it feels that way. The tone of each plot point, while seemingly independent, can at times feel like it could be part of a TV show narrative; from the cold opening to Ray's investigation into the legend of Garakka, if the film was indeed a portal into making a limited series it would fit right in. We are left with wanting to see more about the new lab that Winston has set up, the new tech guy, even more about the library but we only have so much time. And you want to see more of the Spengler/Grooberson family dynamic but we got an evil ghost god to contend with. Its a fun ride though, especially towards the end. But if we only got 20 MORE MINUTES, oh the possibilities. Does this mean its bad? No, its a good film. This is something you can definitely sit down and enjoy. But you will want more lore out of it. And hopefully when the next film comes out (and lets face it we will get one sooner or later) we will see the story take more risks. The good kind of risks too.

And MAYBE Phoebe and Trevor go on a double date.

[lurkingshan]

Last Twilight Episode 10

Okay…okay. I have had some concerns about this show on a low simmer for weeks and unfortunately, the direction this episode took has brought them all roaring to the surface.

First let me just say there was a lot about this episode I really loved (anything to do with Night especially). But there are also a few things that did not work for me so well, so let’s take them one at a time.

Mhok’s Story

Mhok’s financial struggles, the prejudice he faces as a formerly incarcerated person, and his deep grief for his sister have been back-burnered for weeks while he and the story focused on Day. I chatted with @my-rose-tinted-glasses about this last week and said that I was reserving judgment and hoped this was an intentional part of the narrative that would come to the fore—Mhok was subsuming his own problems by making Day his entire life, and when he inevitably left the caretaker job he would have to face them again.

Welp, this episode was the moment for that to happen, if it was ever going to, and the show didn’t do it. Instead, they quickly glossed over Mhok’s struggles with two short scenes and a couple lines of dialogue, stuck him in a new job, and went right back to focusing on Day. Will I ever get a Thai bl that sets up class conflict and financial struggles and then actually takes it seriously?? Apparently not today.

This choice to gloss over Mhok’s money problems is also making the romance feel pretty imbalanced, and I’m really mourning the opportunity to see Day be a supportive partner to Mhok like he has been for him. I want Mhok to be a whole person, not an improbably perfect love interest. The lack of reciprocity in their dynamic is not great and it’s holding this romance back from reaching its full potential.

Day’s Mom

Let’s be very clear: Day’s mom’s behavior in this episode was abusive. She was within her rights to fire Mhok, which he knew and that’s why he resigned before she took action. But her choice to intentionally isolate Day and lock him up in his room with no access to the outside world was cruel and selfish. And it doesn’t seem like the show really gets that, given how they presented her and Day through the rest of the episode.

That family holiday scene was really missing the underlying edge it should have had given she was playing the loving mom while doing these things to Day, and other than one brief line from Night that got interrupted, we didn’t see any acknowledgement in the story of how wrong she was, or even get a good sense of how much she was harming Day.

I would have liked to see Day actually seem affected by his isolation rather than focusing on more cute date moments. Bad Buddy was really adept at delivering excellent couple moments while never letting you forget about the underlying trauma and melancholy of the story, but this show is not quite managing to do the same. Moonlight Chicken also has some glorious moments where bad and abusive parenting was called out very directly, so the lack of it here is really jarring. It all feels curiously light for the subject matter and I expected more from Aof.

Day’s Vision

Obviously after the end of the episode this will be the worry on everyone’s mind heading into next week. We know Aof previews can’t be trusted, but it seems clear the surgery is going to happen. Thematically, I do not think it makes any sense for the show to restore Day’s vision. I wish they weren’t going here with the eye donation surgery at all, but if they’re going to do it I hope its purpose is for the procedure to fail as a mechanism to force Day and his family to finally accept that his disability will not be fixed. But given the above noted poor execution on some of the story’s other themes, I am not currently feeling super confident that the show won’t do something very silly here. Fingers crossed!

[rottenbrainstuff]

BG3 playthrough: Astarion’s first sex scene, Raphael, Blighted village

(Spoilers, discussion of SA)

Astarion threw himself at me already: only Gale was faster. It’s all very sad how rehearsed it is. He specifically says he’s doing it because Tav deserves a reward. I know some people say they wished they had options to progress his romance without the sex in the first act, but the thing is, Tav doesn’t really understand yet what exactly is happening with him. I’ve heard some people also complain that his scene is fairly tame compared to some of the other companions and does a tasteful fade to black pretty quick: but guys, you wouldn’t want to see the rest, it’s not very good, Tav mentions in the morning that they noticed something was wrong.

Having sex with act 1 Astarion I imagine would be so oddly frustrating. I feel like his MO is to rile his partner up until they’re so ready to go that they take charge, and then he can just tune out for the rest of the evening while they do whatever they want with him. There would be odd moments of shrugging away from certain touches that are too intimate for him to stomach while he’s putting on his act; flinching away from gentle kisses on his neck, twisting away from soft touches to his ears, stuff like that. He would give his partner a bizarre feeling of simultaneously being pulled closer but also pushed away, leaving them wondering what the heck they were doing wrong.

After that I had a bunch of cutscenes all trigger one after the other: the bear bite, wanting to talk about Cazador, etc. Poor guy can’t shut up now. I wish the cutscene flow was managed a little better. I rest all the time, I had no cut scenes pending before that, then all of a sudden here’s a big dump. Inventory management is also a huge pain… I don’t even want to say how long I’ve spent just rearranging my shit.

I’m not sure exactly what triggers it, but it seems after a certain point, Raphael will appear when you go on certain areas of the map, even areas you’ve been before. I love Raphael, very dramatic, ten out of ten. I wasn’t sure exactly what was the best option to deal with Raphael but I think I made good choices. Love him. Don’t trust him as far as I can throw him, and my tav is weak and can’t throw shit. But I love him.

Then I went through the Blighted Village. It’s really neat playing as a drow, the goblins are all treating me like royalty and I can just walk right in to these camps and talk to them. The village was fun, I like the way the game tells a narrative through the papers and books that you find around town: the missing children poster, the journals noting bad things are happening, the way you learn more about what the innocent apothecary and his Dragonborn assistant are actually up to as you go deeper into the cellar. I wonder what exactly it was that blighted the village. The goblins came through for sure, but after a phase spider infestation, and a secret necromancer looking around for fresh materials, were the goblins the ones that ruined the village, or did they just provide the final shove that toppled down the house of cards?

I’m sure my drow character feels right at home running around through the tunnels, but UGH the giant spiders scared me so bad. They’re animated so realistically, they’re so huge, ugh ugh ugh.

Now that I have some cash, I don’t have to be pocketing every little thing I find that isn’t nailed down, so I can actually leave some of the incidental objects as the nice set dressing that it is. …. I mayyyyy also be arranging little items here and there like it’s an Animal Crossing island, hehe. I’ve got offerings laid out at Kanon’s grave, and a little memorial set up at Alfira’s blanket, and I’m setting up some cooking supplies at camp. Please tell me I’m not the only player that does this?

[loosesodamarble]

A Double Enchanted Tale

Here's my contribution to the Disney crossover event from @vs-redemption.

This is Disney’s Enchanted (with some plot changes) featuring Nacht x Josele (my oc) and Finral x Mallory (@sailor-muno's oc). Cameo from the ZorAcy ship (from @faewraithsworld). And not to worry I'm using my friends' ocs with permission~!

Cast -Josele as Giselle -Nacht as Robert -Finral as Prince Edward -Mallory as Nancy -Sterling as Morgan (Robert’s daughter) -Yuno as Pip the Chipmunk (but a more character appropriate bird here) -Liliane Vaude as Queen Narissa -Alecdora as Nathaniel (the queen’s lackey) -Zora and Acylla as Phoebe and Ethan (the couple that almost gets divorced but doesn't)

Putting this under a cut because it got loooooooooooooong. Lots of little headcanon notes as well as some drabbles for scenes in narrative format (not my best prose writing but I think I would've gone insane trying to do it all in headcanon format).

..........

As with the original film, this story begins with Josele waxing poetic and singing about True Love’s Kiss. She imagines her True Love™ with pitch black hair and sparkling blue eyes.

Yuno, Josele’s little songbird friend, helps put together the statue of Josele’s True Love™.

Josele’s song attracts the attention of a troll. When it tries to take her away, she fights back.

Elsewhere in the forest, Prince Finral is returning from a diplomacy mission in another kingdom, attended by Alecdora, Queen Liliane’s henchman.

Liliane keeps sending Finral away as a foreign ambassador to keep him distracted from romance. So long as he doesn’t find a bride, she can remain on the throne.

Finral isn’t a fighter but he’s always concerned about people who might need help so he rides into the woods, following Josele’s (kinda wretched) screams.

Alecdora attempts to follow but is left behind as he’s without a horse. He can only grumble that Liliane should try to have Finral killed and not just distracted. He’s fed up with the guy too.

Finral is chasing after Josele’s voice. Josele is fighting for her life.

Josele is up in the trees, trying to smack away the troll with tree branches. Yuno is desperately pecking at the troll.

.....

Finral followed the shouts of a woman’s voice through the forest until he happened upon a troll the size of a house, reaching into the trees.

“Leave me alone already!” Finral looked up to where the voice emanated from and saw a lady with brown hair. “There’s no way I’m going anywhere with you!” She had a tree branch held in both hands and used it to smack at the troll’s fingers when it got too close to reaching her. Finral also barely made out the flittering movements of a bird flying at the troll’s hands one in a while.

“Ahem!” Finral forcibly cleared his throat then projected his voice. “Sir Troll! I know I just arrived but it’s clear to me that you’re bothering that lady. She has no interest in you so I suggest you be on your way.”

The troll didn’t look at Finral and instead just grunted and continued to reach up.

Finral groaned but went on, “If you seek the attention of a fair lady, you must do better than this. Attempt a more gentlemanly approach. Give your name and offer a small gift in greeting, like flowers or even a particularly lovely stone.”

Granted, Finral had no clue if those strategies worked. He had always wanted to attend balls and other events in search of his True Love™. But he was so busy helping his mother establish friendly relations with other lands that he never had the time for romantic socialization.

“Love isn’t something you can force. It’s something you build through mutual efforts.”

“Would you be quiet?!” the troll snapped at Finral, finally giving the prince attention.

“Ah… Well…” Finral uttered.

“Or how about you leave?!”

The lady in the trees jumped down and swung her branch down on the spot between the troll’s eyes, the weak spot of those creatures. With a pained roar, the troll held its face and ran off into the woods. Finral wished he’d been able to do more. But he couldn’t not feel glad that the monster was driven away and that the lady in the trees was safe.

Speaking of…

Finral watched the woman land on a lower branch of a tree and lean against the trunk, probably letting out a sigh of relief. He got a better look at her. Brown hair that shined like varnished wood, a fair complexion, and arms that showed more muscle than Finral had ever seen on a woman.

“Excuse me, miss! You’re alright, yes?” Finral called up to the woman.

She turned her face to Finral and his breath was taken away by the beautiful depth of her brown eyes.

“Me?” She gestured to herself. “Yes, I’m oka—”

All of a sudden, her foot slipped and she was falling to the ground. Finral spurred his horse forward. And not a moment too soon as Finral caught the woman in his arms.

For a moment, the two of them stared into each other’s eyes.

“Hello…” the lady whispered, her face now colored a rosy hue. “What’s your name?”

“I’m Prince Finral,” he managed to say despite the tenseness of his throat and the heat in his face. “And you are?”

“Josele.”

“A name that’s as lovely as you are brave.” Finral’s heart thumped in his chest. He’d never had such a reaction to a woman. Did that mean that Josele was… his True Love™? “Would you… marry me?”

“Y-yes! Yes of course!” Josele blurted out, giggles bubbling in her voice.

“Then it’s settled, we’ll be married in the morning!” Finral exclaimed with glee.

As Finral and Josele rode into the sunset, singing refrains that came to them as naturally as breathing, the little bird that had been around earlier watched them leave. The bird was Yuno, Josele’s faithful companion.

“But he doesn’t even look like the True Love™ from your dreams, Josele!” Yuno yelled while flying after them.

.....

In New York City, Nacht and his daughter Sterling are on their way home in a taxi.

Nacht brings up to Sterling that he’s going to propose to his girlfriend, Mallory Demiscura.

Sterling: Her name sounds like an evil stepmother's name. Nacht: That’s not nice to say, Sterling. Mallory is a fine woman. And what’s more, she looks like she could actually be your mother. Sterling: Is that why you’re thinking of marrying her? Nacht: … Maybe.

Sterling frowns at the lame reasoning. It’s so unromantic. She wants her dad to marry someone he loves, not someone to be her mom.

As Sterling pouts and stares out the window, she spots a lady in an elaborate wedding dress climbing up a telephone pole.

Sterling hurries out of the car to investigate and Nacht of course follows.

Sterling: Aren’t you afraid of falling from there, miss? Josele: Not to worry! I’m used to being in high places! Nacht: So she’s a drug addict… Sterling: Or she climbs stuff often. Jeez dad, no need to be judgy. Nacht: Lady, I think you should get down from there! It’s not safe! Josele: Nah, I’ll be fi— (slips and falls) WAH!

Nacht instinctively goes to catch Josele because of course. Nacht is hurt more by the collision than Josele is. Sterling’s jaw drops at how durable and muscular Josele is.

Sterling: How did you get like that, miss? Josele: Get like what? So disheveled and dirty? Heh, well I’ve been wandering around, completely lost, all day. But I’ll be fine, I just need— (wobbles and collapses on top of Nacht again) To rest. Nacht: Uh, well, uh… We can take you in for the night? Sterling: (pumps her fists in victory) We’re bringing a princess home!

.....

Nacht pinched the bridge of his nose after pushing all of the rats, pigeons, and roaches out of the apartment. First a lady climbing in a wedding dress and now a vermin-led housecleaning job. Maybe he was hallucinating. He was pulled from his thoughts by Sterling tugging on his shirt.

“Do we have to wash the dishes again? Because the rats touched them?”

“Use the disposable ones for now. Please,” Nacht groaned.

“Okay.”

After Sterling left his side, Nacht noticed a sing-song voice coming from the bathroom. It had to be Josele. Nacht approached slowly, taking in the sound of Josele’s voice. Admittedly, she had a lovely voice. There was then a pang in Nacht’s heart as he remembered how Morgen used to sing.

Morgen probably would’ve loved a weirdo like her, Nacht thought with a scoff. He couldn’t help but smile though. Nacht stopped in front of the door but before he even knocked, Josele opened the door.

“Good morning,” Josele said with a grin. Such a blithe and innocent look. Like she hadn’t nearly fallen to her death—or at least a broken bone—last night. “You’re looking well, Nacht.”

“Uh…” Nacht glanced down before hurriedly locking eyes with Josele. Holy hell, she is ripped! “Morning. So uh… you…”

“The shower is absolutely lovely,” remarked Josele, glancing back into the room. “I’m used to bathing in rivers but that was a whole new experience!”

“In rivers?” Nacht repeated. Did she grow up in the wilderness or something? “Right. So look, the thing is—”

“Nacht? Who’s that?”

Nacht’s head whipped in the direction of another woman’s voice. Mallory stood a few feet away, jaw dropped and eyes wide in a look of confusion and hurt.

Mallory was there. Seeing Nacht talk with Josele. While Josele was only in a towel.

“Oh hello there! I’m Josele!” She strode up to Mallory without a second thought and began to shake the redhead’s hand. “It’s so nice to meet you! What’s your name?”

“Mallory…”

“Oh that’s a gorgeous name!”

“Thanks?” Mallory pulled back a bit. Her face twisted, looking more horrified by the millisecond. “Uh, what are you doing here?”

“I was on my way to the castle to be married—”

Nacht hurried to the women and stepped between them.

“Mallory, please listen,” Nacht started while holding Mallory’s shoulders and moving her away from Josele. “She and I, we’re not— You have to understand.”

“Understand what, Nacht? That you’ve finally decided that I’m not good enough for you?” Mallory choked out. Tears had already formed in her eyes. “I thought we were just taking it slow because of Sterling and…” Mallory quickly rubbed her eyes. “And we have our careers to worry about too! But I guess the real reason was—!”

“That’s not it at all!”

Mallory pulled away from Nacht and stormed towards the exit. “I’ll go! If she makes you happy, I won’t get in your way!”

“Are you leaving already?” Josele asked, stepping in the way of Mallory’s exit. “But you just arrived.”

The question made Mallory pause. “You don’t want me to leave?”

Josele and Mallory stared into each other’s eyes for a moment. Both seemed confused. And Nacht had to step in.

“Ladies, please, I can explain everything,” Nacht said as he got between them.

“Okay then…” Mallory nodded for a moment then looked Nacht dead in the eyes. “Explain.”

.....

Nacht explains to Mallory the situation with Josele. And she listens.

Mallory is baffled to say the least but considering Josele’s behavior, it seems to be the most believable explanation.

Nacht asks Mallory if Josele could stay with her only for Mallory to say her apartment is getting renovated and she’s already sharing a space with her three sisters.

But Mallory promises to help look for leads about how to get Josele home.

The situation still puts a strain on the relationship since Nacht will be focusing his attention on Josele until she returns to Andalasia.

Mallory is jealous of Josele’s hopeless romanticism and optimism. She was once a romantic herself but lost her spark. She ended up with Nacht because of proximity and convenience.

Nacht takes Josele to his workplace. He hands Josele over to his coworker, Secre, hoping she can help locate Josele’s home.

Meanwhile, Nacht tries to help move along the divorce proceedings for Acylla and Zora. In Nacht’s opinion, they had to split sooner rather than later.

.....

Josele approached Acylla with a wide-eyed, almost awestruck smile.

“Your eyes…” she whispered sweetly. “They’re gorgeous with that little sparkle in them. And your presence is so calm and graceful.”

“I, well…” Acylla flushed at the forward compliments being given to her. “Thank you, miss.”

“The person who holds your heart is a very lucky individual,” Josele commented as she took Acylla’s hands.

And those words made Acylla’s shy grin drop into a deep frown instantly. “He may have held it before but he dropped it like a hot potato.” The words made Josele reel back. Acylla only continued, “And believe me, I doubt he feels lucky to know me at this moment.”

“I don’t understand…” Josele whispered as she shook her head. She glanced at Zora who scoffed and rolled his eyes. “Aren’t you two in love?”

“Read the room, lady,” snapped Zora. “We’re sick of each other.”

Nacht buried his face in his hands and groaned. First his personal life. And now his professional life was being torn asunder by a woman who made a dress out of his curtains before skipping away, without shame or guilt.

When he raised his head, Nacht had every intention of snapping at Josele to keep her nose out of Zora and Acylla’s business. But then he saw them, the tears in her eyes. Soft and real, truly broken up by something most people would brush off as an unfortunate but unextraordinary event. So Nacht ended up pulling Josele aside and quietly letting her know that she didn’t have to worry since the divorce was what the former couple wanted.

“But they’re losing the love of their lives, Nacht,” Josele whimpered as her tears fell. “I can’t imagine loving someone one day and then… not loving them the next…”

“That’s just how the world works,” Nacht said. He almost included an “I’m sorry.” But what did he have to be sorry for?

When Nacht glanced past Josele’s shoulder, he saw Zora staring at Acylla. Not with annoyance as he had been earlier. But rather, he looked curious, as though examining Acylla for the first time. As for Acylla, she was red-faced and avoiding Zora’s eyes.

The air between the two had changed. Nacht didn’t know how but it had…

.....

Mallory is still on her own commute to work. On the way, she spies a man in an elaborate medieval style tunic standing in front of a bus.

Finral: Be still you beast of steel! Those poor civilians in your belly don’t deserve to be eaten! Bus Driver: (honks aggressively) GET OUTTA THE STREET! Mallory: Oh no. That man’s gonna get himself run over. (runs over and grabs Finral out of the street) Finral: Hey hey! Wait wait wait! I was helping those people! Mallory: You were causing a traffic jam! (brushes Finral down because he looks like a mess) You good, man? Finral: I am a good man, yes. Or I’d like to think so. Mallory: Um… Yeah I don’t think you’re doing so hot, sir. (thinking) He does look hot though…

Mallory and Finral get to talking once they get some distance between themselves and the street.

Finral goes on and on about finding his “precious doe” and “other half.” But he doesn’t mention Josele by name.

Still, Mallory gets a weird feeling that Finral’s fairy tale dreamy attitude is familiar…

Alecdora runs up from out of nowhere and grabs Finral away, saying he knows where to find Finral’s love.

“Lead the way, Alecdora!” Finral exclaims as he and Alecdora run off.

“Alec-darrel? What kind of name is that?!” Mallory asks. She tries to chase them for a moment but she’s not fit to keep up.

And then, a little songbird (Yuno), lands on her shoulder and seems to glare at Alecdora.

“What’s your story, little guy?” Mallory asks sarcastically. “I’m actually thinking of chasing after Prince Charming there.”

Yuno chirps aggressively at Mallory and directs her to follow Finral. So she does!

At some point, Alecdora makes his first attempt to kill Josele with a poison apple provided by Liliane. Only to fail.

.....

“That’s how you know~!”

Josele’s melodious voice rang through the air.

“That’s how you know~!”

Came the harmonious echo of what felt like half of New York City, somehow knowing the song that Josele had begun.

Nacht had thought he was dreaming. Honestly, he’d thought that since he first met Josele. Yet sitting in an open carriage as everyone from street musicians to newlyweds performed in Central Park felt strangely real. Every smile on the people’s faces was wide and genuine. The clouds from the morning had parted and the afternoon sun made the colors around Nacht brighter.

And the brightest person there was Josele.

The song and dance had concluded. But people were lingering, mingling amongst themselves or approaching Josele as she stood within the carriage with Nacht.

Nacht blinked a few more times. But he couldn’t take his eyes off of Josele as she spoke with the people who complimented her song or thanked her for the experience. And she replied with a “no, thank you for joining” and such.

How did she manage to be so kind and genuine? Okay, Nacht knew why: fairy tale princess turned real. The question still lingered in his mind. He wondered if the kind of magic Josele exuded was something everyone had a little of, and that’s what made everything happen.

.....

With Mallory, she’s caught up with Finral who is separated from Alecdora thankfully. As they’re walking, she tries to get across that she knows where Finral’s “other half” is.

As she tries to explain, she gets a text from one of her sisters.

[Is he cheating?] The question is accompanied by a picture of Nacht and Josele, sitting in a carriage and surrounded by… a lot. [Check social media. They’re there.]

Mallory looks up what’s trending and finds pictures and videos of some chaotic flash mob. With Josele and Nacht seeming to lead it.

The doubt in Mallory’s heart starts to come back. She and Nacht had never done anything like dance or sing together, especially not in public. And yet with Josele…

.....

“Is something the matter, Miss Mallory?” Finral asked gently, breaking Mallory out of her gloom.

“Oh! Uh…” Mallory slid her phone into her purse, making her chest tight with guilt at hiding Josele’s location from Finral. But perhaps their reunion could wait an hour or two? “I’m… fine?” She shook her head. “It’s just that the man I love…” The words felt so heavy in her mouth that she trailed off and had to take a breath. “He’s not all that good at being loving.”

Finral blinked then stared wide-eyed at Mallory. “But how can that be? A fine woman such as yourself is surely easy to love. Why, I can already name several things that make you splendid!”

“L-like what?”

“Well for one, your hair! It’s the loveliest shade of red I’ve ever laid my eyes on!” Finral exclaimed with a wide grin. “I bet if you were to give a twirl, it’d fan out so beautifully that the crowd would stop and stare.”

“I don’t think I could do something like that!” Mallory squeaked, feeling herself warm up as people were already eyeing her and Finral because of his loud voice. “But, um, thanks for the compliment.”

“And I have more to give, still!” Finral quickly followed up. “Your smile. It shines as bright as the sun. Surely, that smile alone has made the day of your sweetheart.”

Mallory shrugged, not wanting to admit that she’d never seen Nacht smile. Not truly. Only ever the empty, cordial smile he used at work.

“There’s also your heart, so full of kindness. We only passed by each other this morning and yet you’ve returned to aid me.” Finral went on waxing poetic. It was incredible how genuine he sounded. Not a hint of irony to him. “Your lover, whoever he may be, should be ashamed for not treasuring you the way you should be!”

Mallory pursed her lips and nodded a little. She did want for a love that was… more. But she was never brave enough to ask that of Nacht.

Raising her head, Mallory locked eyes with Finral. His warm grin and the way his eyes looked at her with gentleness. The deepest parts of her heart wanted that.

Mallory wanted the bold and free love that Finral was offering.

It’s just that he wasn’t offering it to her…

.....

Finral breaks out into song. Let’s call it “With All Your Heart.”

I’m not writing the whole thing out (not a lyricist here), but the gist of the song is Finral explaining his belief that love should be expressed boldly and being proud of one’s love will make them happier. It’s why he’s so forward.

Finral’s song number gets the crowd going as much as “That’s How You Know” did. Mallory is in absolute awe of the literal magic in front of her eyes and excitedly runs alongside Finral as he encourages other couples to loudly proclaim their love for each other.

Yuno is following along the whole time and is picking up on the vibes with this pair.

When the song ends, a pair of doves fly up to Mallory. They give her a wreath of flowers and tickets to a ball happening later that week, addressed from Nacht.

And now she’s thinking of Nacht again and her heart hurts realizing that she’s already smitten with another man, a taken man.

Finral hears of the ball and excitedly thinks of taking Josele there before returning home.

Mallory agrees to help him get tickets. She wasn’t just going to give up the tickets for her and Nacht, but she’d at least help Josele and Finral’s love.

Alecdora finds Mallory and Finral and takes away the prince saying he has a lead on where Josele is. Mallory tries to argue that she knows but Alecdora ignores her.

Yuno comforts Mallory for a moment then chirps, as if to reassure her that he’ll get Finral back.

.....

Nacht blinked a few times, not quite believing what he was hearing.

“Can you say that again?”

“We don’t see any reason to divorce,” Zora repeated with a smile. He looked at Acylla who grinned back. “That lady from yesterday, she was so right. Acylla’s eyes have a beautiful sparkle to them. It was the first thing I noticed. I really am lucky to have fallen for her.”

“But just the other day you two were having problems,” Nacht pointed out, to which the couple snickered.

“Everyone has problems, Mr. Faust.” Acylla’s hold on Zora’s hand tightened. “But should we really allow the bad things in life to outweigh the good ones?”

Nacht raised a brow. “You’re really going to try again after a chance encounter with—”

“Have you considered that it wasn’t merely chance?” Acylla posed. “Maybe we were meant to meet that lady and she would remind us of what really mattered.”

“Like how sweet you are when I’m not bothering you,” Zora joked. The couple laughed again before sharing a brief kiss. “Yeah, I could get used to this all over again.”

Nacht fell silent. His mouth snapped shut as he had nothing to say.

There it was again. That strange magic that Josele’s presence exuded. At work again in Nacht’s life.

Nacht guided Acylla and Zora out of the office while reassuring them that Josele would hear of their gratitude towards her. There was no doubt in his mind that Josele would be overjoyed to know that the couple’s marriage had been saved.

“What a peculiar woman,” Nacht muttered, feeling a smile come to his face just thinking of everything Josele had done in only two days. “What else could possibly happen now?”

.....

The timeline of events does get extended. There’s an extra two or three days of shenanigans.

Mallory keeps on putting off telling Nacht that she’s met Finral because 1) Alecdora keeps dragging Finral off and Mallory would rather not say “I’ve seen him but I’m currently not with him” due to the inconvenience, and 2) she just wants more time with Finral herself.

So Nacht and Josele have their misadventures while Finral and Mallory have theirs.

Josele and Nacht’s misadventures include: 1) taking Sterling to an archery range since the kid is interested and when Josele tries her hand at the bow, she cuts her fingers on the fletching, 2) Josele helping some kids find their lost pets with her little animal summoning ability, and 3) Josele decorating a statue with flower wreaths and teaching Nacht and Sterling how to weave flowers together during that time.

Mallory and Finral’s misadventures include 1) getting caught up in a dance off on the streets which Finral absolutely flops since its break dancing and not ballroom, 2) coming across a runaway teen and talking things out with them (Mallory gives more grounded advice like finding a shelter while Finral’s advice is optimistic but helpful in keeping the teen’s spirits up), and 3) meeting Mallory’s sister Athena and her boyfriend, during which Finral convinces the boyfriend to go ahead with proposing.

Meanwhile, Yuno is fighting for his life against Alecdora, trying to separate him from Finral so Finral can meet up with Mallory again. Alecdora has tried clipping his wings, selling him to a pet store, and even threw him into a bird of prey exhibit at the zoo. It’s crazy.

Nacht eventually takes Josele and Sterling out for dinner, during which Nacht reveals the story behind Sterling’s lack of mother.

Sterling is Nacht’s adopted kid, but she wasn’t meant to be. She was supposed to be adopted by Morgen, Nacht’s brother.

Years ago, Morgen’s apartment building caught fire. Something about a stove being left on.

Instead of escaping immediately, Morgen went to every room he could to help others get to safety.

He eventually found a woman with one of her legs pinned under debris and a baby in her arms. The woman insisted that Morgen take her baby and leave her to die. If her baby lived, that’s what mattered.

Morgen carried the baby girl out, using his own body to protect her from the smoke and flames.

Morgen and the baby escaped, but he sustained some bad injuries.

While in the hospital, Morgen said he wanted to adopt the baby girl, named Sterling, once he was recovered. However, he wasn’t getting better, only worse.

With his dying breath, Morgen asked Nacht to take care of Sterling. “I know you have no attachment to her, brother. But please, watch over her. Don’t let the hope that lives in that child die.”

And so Sterling became Nacht’s child.

Alecdora makes a second attempt with a poison apple and Yuno saves Josele from this one.

Alecdora and Yuno face off. It ends with Alecdora “killing” Yuno.

After they return to the Faust apartment and Josele comforts Sterling, Nacht talks to Josele about staying in New York.

.....

“It’s been nearly a week since you’ve arrived, Josele. And if he hasn’t come by now, I just don’t think your so-called prince is coming at all,” Nacht whispered, trying to be gentle with the woman’s feelings.

“But he is,” Josele insisted once more. “I believe in him.”

“And maybe that belief is misplaced. You can’t hope for the impossible.”

At Nacht’s words, Josele’s expression twisted into a frown. A look which Nacht hadn’t seen since Josele had cried over Acylla and Zora’s situation days earlier. But the current frown she wore was markedly different.

“What’s with you, Nacht? Why can’t you have a little hope?” Josele asked as she leaned forward, closer to Nacht, more aggressive than she’d ever been before. “Why is it always ‘let’s stop now’ or ‘it won’t work’ or ‘it’s a waste of time’? Why are you always so gloomy?”

“I’m not gloomy, I’m realistic.” Nacht felt his chest grow tight as Josele’s eyes narrowed and she let out a sharp exhale. “You can’t always get your hopes up. Otherwise, you’ll get disappointed a lot.”

“So I should be like you and never get my hopes up?” Josele shot to her feet as she yelled.

“That’s not what I said!” Nacht rose to his feet too. “I’m just saying that hoping for the impossible will never work out!”

All Nacht has wanted to do was to spare Josele from the heartbreak of someone giving up on her. He didn’t intend to get Josele fired up, to cause her to come to the defense of her own hopes and desires.

“Well at least I have hope! Unlike you!” Josele jabbed Nacht in the shoulder, as if to emphasize. “You’re so afraid to try new things! You’re afraid to open your heart! Sometimes you’re so kind and sometimes you’re like this!” So caught up in her emotions, Josele started to pace back and forth. “And it just—! I don’t know—! All of it makes me so—! You make me so—!”

“I make you what?” Nacht pressed, leaning in close without really thinking.

“You make me so angry!” Josele snapped. “I’m angry with you, Nacht Faust!” The fierce scowl on Josele’s face was blinked away, and then she grinned. “I’m angry! Oh my gosh, I’m angry!” Her laugh, like a chime, echoed for a moment. And then, “Wait, I’m angry.”

Josele frowned again and then punched Nacht square in the stomach. The impact sent Nacht to the floor—it still shocked him how surprisingly muscular she was. Nacht groaned and held his aching torso.

“I’m sorry! Oh I’m so sorry!” Josele yelped while kneeling on the floor beside Nacht. “I didn’t think—!”

“You’re good, Josele. It’s fi—” Nacht paused when he felt Josele pick up his head and then rest it on her lap. “Josele?”

“I’m still angry, you know,” she whispered. Her fingers stroked through Nacht’s hair. “Just because not everything is as good as I want it to be, doesn’t mean I should resign myself to the bad, right?”

Nacht held his tongue for a moment. As refreshing as it had been to see Josele upset, he wasn’t going to risk a second bruise to the stomach.

“I still don’t know if your prince is coming. But… I guess we can give it a few more days.”

“Thank you, Nacht.”

It was then that Nacht dared to look up at Josele. The look on her face was… She wasn’t beaming the way she normally did. But she wasn’t scowling either. She looked… impassive. Yet peaceful. As if she was lost in thought. Something about Josele in that moment was… beautiful.

“Josele?” Nacht reached up and touched her cheek with the back of his hand.

“Hm?” Her eyes drifted down to meet Nacht’s gaze.

“We should get to sleep now. So we’re not exhausted in the morning.”

“Y-yeah…”

The silence that followed was heavy. Not even a “goodnight” was shared, only quick and quiet nods of acknowledgement.

When Josele sat back down on the couch, she noticed how fast her heart was racing. And she knew that the thought of Nacht, of standing so close to him, was the reason. But that couldn’t be right. Her True Love™ was Finral. Right?

When Nacht sat on his bed, he buried his face in his hands, feeling how warm he’d become. Seeing Josele and the new sides of her brought on by conflict, however small, had him wanting more. But she was not his to love.

Rest wouldn’t come easy to either of them that night.

.....

The morning before the ball, Mallory finally is able to get Finral away from Alecdora for good (taking Finral to her sisters’ place ensured that the man wouldn’t come knocking).

And Mallory is finally able to explain to Finral that she knows where Josele is.

Nacht receives a call from Mallory and she explains everything to him.

Mallory brings Finral over to Nacht’s apartment for the reunion.

Finral tries to prompt Josele into song but it’s Mallory who picks up on it and tries to feed Josele the words.

Still, everyone (except Sterling) agrees that Finral and Josele should return to Andalasia together. But not before a date in New York and some time at the ball that evening.

While Josele and Finral head out for their date, Nacht and Mallory sit down and chat.

Mallory: Sorry I couldn’t bring Finral by sooner. Nacht: Mallory, it’s fine. You were probably busy with work so it makes sense that— Mallory: No no, I wasn’t putting it off. I literally couldn’t bring him because some other guy kept dragging him off! He was super weird and really rude too. Even his name is weird: Alec-darrel. Nacht: That can’t be his real name. Mallory: That’s what it sounded like to me. Also, this bird kept on finding its way to me and it acted a lot smarter than the birds I usually meet. I haven’t seen him in a couple days though. Nacht: That must be the Yuno bird Josele told me about. Mallory: The bird’s name is Yuno? Not something like “Cheep” or “Chirpy”?

When Josele comes back from the date, she’s very worried about going to the ball. Mallory and Sterling immediately volunteer to help.

.....

The time came for the ladies to pick out dresses to wear to the ball.

“If you really want to get… to get Nacht’s attention, try wearing complementary colors,” Josele remarked while eyeing the rows of dresses.

Her chest ached as she thought about how lucky Mallory was to have Nacht’s attention on her. To be the one to make him stop and stare in awe. But why? Josele had Finral so why did she want Nacht to see her, to admire her?

“S-since your hair is such a lovely shade of red, you would look good in green.”

“Yeah! Daddy says green makes my hair look extra pretty too!” Sterling piped up. “I’ll go find something for Mallory! Just you wait and see!”

“Hmm.” Mallory pursed her lips and tilted her head to the side. “But isn’t Finral’s tunic green? It’d look weird if he and I… matched.”

The suggestion of which actually made Mallory’s heart flutter. She knew how silly her thoughts were but she couldn’t help it. The days spent beside Finral repeated in her mind and she wanted to remain beside him, even knowing they were both promising themselves to others.

Josele gave a weak laugh and shook her head before saying, “Oh no, it’s fine if you two matched.” She shrugged. “You two already do a fine job of matching energies so matching appearances isn’t out of the question.” She blinked and caught herself. “N-not that you and Nacht don’t also get along well! You’re both intelligent and understanding of me and Finral’s… peculiarities. A-and you, uh…”

“Sele, it’s okay.” Mallory took Josele’s hands in her own then patted the back of them. “I know Nacht and I aren’t two peas in a pod, but we’ve managed.” With a reassuring smile, she stepped back. “Now, let’s think about what you’ll wear. You ought to look like a princess for… for Finral, huh?”

A sickening jealousy twisted Mallory’s stomach. There had to be something wrong with her for wanting to be with Finral despite Josele being his True Love™. So she pushed down the wish for Finral to serenade her as his love.

“Let’s think about what you’ll wear now.” Mallory approached the dress rack. “Black goes with everything. And I know you’re more for blue but I personally think purple works better with black.”

“Yes, they make quite a pair…” Josele muttered, immediately imagining Nacht in the black suit and purple dress shirt she’d seen him wear the night they met. It was a dark and elegant look. Nacht looked…

“Oh right! Nacht!” Mallory yelped. “Maybe you shouldn’t wear black or purple because then you’d kinda be wearing Nacht’s colors! Not that it’d be bad if you did. It’d actually be good. More than good! Great even!” Mallory paced the boutique floor and gesticulated wildly as she spoke. It was quite cute, how animated and lively she was.

Smiling as she watched, Josele recalled when she first met Mallory. The red-haired woman seemed like she had been trying to restrain her feelings that fateful morning. But now, her fluster was on full display. It was cute. And she seemed more like herself.

“Because you two honestly look great together in my opinion. NOT THAT YOU’RE TOGETHER! WE CLEARED UP THAT CONFUSION ALREADY!” Mallory laughed in a way that sounded painfully forced. She then turned to Josele. “What I’m trying to say is that you’ve done each other good! I mean, you’ve brought Nacht out of his shell and he’s really gotten you adapted to New York!”

Josele blinked. “Finral hasn’t gotten used to New York?”

“Not really?” Mallory replied while giving a shrug. “He’s not talking to buses anymore but… It’s just not the place for him.”

“Well I quite like it,” Josele admitted. “It’s not as pretty as the forest I grew up in, but there’s so many people and so much to do. Each new day is an adventure.”

“There sure is a lot. Though I personally would want adventures like fighting a troll,” Mallory joked and earned a giggle from Josele as well.

The laughter between Josele and Mallory died down however. Though neither said it out loud and neither recognized how the other felt, there was a sad tension shared between them. The lives that they initially saw for themselves were no longer what they wanted.

“Mallory!” Sterling piped up, finally returning from her search. “I found the perfect dress for you!” She looked between the women. “Did I come back at a bad time?”

“No no no, Sterling!” Josele quickly knelt down by the girl. “Thank you for coming back.”

“You said you had a dress for me?” Mallory asked, hoping to dissipate the earlier atmosphere.

Sterling glanced between them again. She may have only been six, but even she knew that something was wrong.

.....

The ball scene! AAAAAHHHHH!

Finral would try to profess his love for Josele but he’d fumble it, so unlike his usual eloquent self. He’s got Mal on the mind.

Josele does her best to compliment Mallory and Nacht as a couple but Mallory points out that she looks sickly when trying to speak.

Mallory and Nacht can barely look each other in the eyes because they know they love Finral and Josele. But they stubbornly think they should stick with how things are.

Finral dances with Mallory. Nacht dances with Josele. Both men hold the women as close as they can in the dance because no one wants to let goooooo!

Still, Finral guides Josele away so they can return to Anadalasia. And when he goes to get Josele’s cloak, Liliane (disguised as a hag) comes and offers Josele the poison apple.

Finral only tries True Love’s Kiss with Josele once. After one try, he knows it’s not gonna work.

When Nacht tries to deny that his kiss might save her, Mallory snaps at him, “Don’t you dare give up. Josele needs you!”

Josele’s fight against Liliane is much bloodier, actually drawing blood from the evil queen.

But it’s Yuno pecking Liliane directly in the eyes which makes her fall to her doom.

Once the dust settles, the four adults finally speak honestly.

Mallory and Nacht officially break up and wish each other the best with their new loves.

Finral and Josele bid each other goodbye and hope for one another’s happily ever afters.

Mallory takes to the fairy tale world well, evening singing her own song on her first day.

After a year of dating, Mallory and Finral have their full fairy tale wedding.

Josele gets herself established in the real world, working some odd jobs before being able to establish her own boutique.

While Nacht does propose early on, they still take a couple of years to date and plan.

.....

“And they all lived happily ever after. The End,” Sterling stated with finality. “So? What do you think?”

Sterling’s younger siblings—Dawn, Dusk, Sirius, Merel, and Vivian—stared in awe.

“It explains why Mommy’s so good with animals,” commented Dusk.

“Mommy was gonna be a princess?!” Dawn gasped.

“But she married a lame lawyer instead…” Merel grumbled.

“Daddy’s job isn’t lame!” Sirius retorted.

“Daddy’s kinda lame for being kidnapped by a dragon though,” Vivian muttered.

“Kids, it’s time for bed!” Josele said before poking her head into the living room.

Nacht leaned his head into the door frame too. “And what was that about me being lame?”

“Sorry Daddy,” Vivian whispered.

Together, Nacht and Josele tucked in the kids before going to their own bed.

“Are we living happily ever after, Josele?” Nacht whispered as he stroked her hair.

“I’d like to think so…” she whispered back, smiling.

[spookfished]

media roundup june 2023

hey guys guess who just went "oh its the 4th of july. that means that its july" here im going to talk about things i read/watched/played last month! i didnt read as much but did finish a couple books that ive had checked out Forever. ok actually i read a lot woops

books/comics/written media:

fake dates and mooncakes by sher lee: fake dating (obv) premise between a cooking boy and a rich heir! book that made me realized im honestly just not that interested in ya romance anymore LMFAO. pretty sweet and a decent read, but landed more heavily on the expository end of uhh i guess diaspora fiction? than i really prefer. i think i picked this up bc the author got mega cancelled on tyk twitter lol??

bird by bird by anne lammott: book about how to write. i love to read about how people do stuff :3 some of the advice applies pretty universally to creative efforts i think.. made me want to write more too

john dies at the end by jason pargin: DNF. comic/horror about this loser guy who discovers stuff. sigh i tried so hard to like this book its supposed to be pretty 'mecore'...talked about this with alena a bunch but its like hm... i know the sort of casual offensiveness sort of goes in hand with being poor and white and in the midwest and i appreciate how its like that creates its own doomed narrative or whatever. but also i feel like the protagonist would call me slurs or something. also the lowgrade but pervasive orientalism is kinda offputting. probably fun for some other guy! i did enjoy the horror elements though

the goldfinch by donna tartt: literary coming of age about a boys relationship with a painting (the goldfinch). also he flops a lot and its sort of homoerotic i guess? a movie was made of it. so something to note is that ive had this book out on loan since literally december. neil kept on being like hey man just stop reading it LMFAO. thoughts cp'ed from discord:

why does the goldfinch feel like a 600 page leadup to the actual book which is 800 pages

idk at this point im kinda sick of pathetic lovelorn self obsessed semi literary men. like toku men are also sopping and pathetic but i think its more appealing when they are also kind and can be vulnerable. this guy is just annoying and kind of incel coded. like does a grand gesture to make up for the fact that he killed your dog while dogsitting

i actually did enjoy the parts post timeskip but i still think the first two thirds could have been cut or Greatly compressed or interspersed w the present or Something, yk? prose was nice though

the bodyguard by katherine center: romance novel about a woman bodyguard who lives for her job. fresh from a breakup, shes given a new undercover assignment with a handsome actor, recently withdrawn from society. will they be able to break each others' shells....? my mom recommended this to me LMFAO we kind of have different tastes in romance.. ive read a book by this author before i think her platonic scenes are very strong? i wish there had been a couple more of those. also i like how she always includes a life affirming section at the end about how important it is for us to open ourselves up to love etc etc cute but not especially memorable

kiss quotient by helen hoang: (reread) a shy, autistic econometrician decides that she needs to get better at sex, and so hires an escort. helen hoang is one of my faavorite romance authors i really enjoyed this reread although i kinda forgot that both leads say, think and do some pretty embarrassing things. but you know a little embarrassment is endearing and all that.. i still prefer her other book (the bride test) but this one is pretty good too. vivid characters 👍

sisters of dorley hall by alyson greaves: web fiction - a trans woman infiltrates a secret force-feminization program. ok im just cp'ing my thoughts from discord again but i enjoyed it a lot:

my thoughts are that the first like, third? is really really good. it like idk takes the very real trans fears of like discovery and passing and all that and fictionalizes them a bit. but like its still grounded and swag. sooo tense once The Reveal happens n things w steph are pretty normal it gets kinda meandering? which i dont really mind bc i love interpersonal drama even if i miss how tense and scary it was. but also theres only like two major plot threads going on rn and theyre both pretty slowburn. a timeskip would probably benefit tbh like the point rn is kinda like. the 7 year meteor? yeah sorry

like it used to be sort of psychological thriller? and now its sort of more character focus and also surprisingly fluffy.. im surprised that the author has said they have a complete outline bc it doesnt feel very focused atm? but also like i suppose things are snowballing a bit re: revealing the sisters to the outside world

an unauthorized fan treatise by lauren james: a fangirl trying to prove her rpf ship is real uncovers a greater conspiracy. to me if something is able to capture a specific age/vibe from the internet its automatically pretty good. however more and more people are learning how to do that so maybe i should change my standards... i was never involved in All That re: rpf or even fandoms of live action shows until kamen rider? but like i definitely knew people in hs that were sort of like this LMFAO so it felt very familiar. i appreciate the author trying to make that $$ but i dont know if it really needs an expansion/sequel.. the ending is better off with some ambiguity imo

impossible us by sarah lotz: literary romance? a man and a woman fall in love online, but encounter difficulties when they try to meet. ok im just pasting my thoughts here again (spoilers btw):

ok that was a lot of stuff. onto movies/tv:

xo kitty: kitty goes to a school to connect with her online boyfriend, but all is not well. yall this was not good. i guess my standards shouldnt have been that high but to all the boys ive loved before was so cute!! (havent watched/read the others). but like.. the writing was bad and the main actress just wasnt very sympathetic or charming? characters waste time saying "i can explain" until time runs out for them to actually explain, additional (and nonsensical) romance plots are added for no reason, and the male lead isnt even that hot. sorry. also kitty deciding to move to korea to connect with her mom but not bothering to learn a speck of korean and insisting that everyone else speak to her in english really sucks honestly. not even my mom liked it so thats how you know its bad 👎

succession season 1: yesss succession. greg is my favorite cant wait to see him become evil. makes me stressed

shin kamen rider (hideaki anno): reboot of the first kamen rider by the guy who made evangelion. this guy kinda makes the same thing over and over but it looked sick as hell so i wasnt complaining. like stella obstinaterixatrix said, kinda more introspective or even insular to the point of kinda ignoring the usual kr theme of justice but it was still very fun :3 kinda want to watch the original now

ready player one (movie): my parents made me watch this movie. aggressively mediocre.

kamen rider revice and live and evil and demons: pretty fun if you have the disease that makes you think revice is good, but mostly made me miss revice. i think they should have gone more into the clone thing but i always think that so

kamen rider juuga vs kamen rider olteca: two-parter special for kr revice. i forgot what happened in this pretty much immediately after but karizaki was hot

roman holiday: a princess touring in rome escapes her duties for a day, and meets a dashing young reporter. classic romance!! i actually liked this so so much like it actually is very romantic and funny and like deserves the hype. didnt expect it to be in black and white even so audrey hepburn is really hot. (spoilers) more romances should have bittersweet endings though like it hit

kamen rider ryuki: a young man is inducted into a battle royale between those fighting for their deepest wishes, and decides to try and stop the rider battle once and for all. hey guys ryuki is so fucking good for those who have watched madoka magica a lot of it is very heavily based off of/inspired by ryuki! but ryuki does it better. pretty much The kamen rider has so much to say about justice and love and what it means to be a hero and sacrifice and *runs out of air and falls over* also it made me cry. if you ever try kamen rider try this one <3

EDIT OH i forgot about across the spiderverse 100/10 obviously groundbreaking in animation nice take on generational trauma and also like the nature of adaptation and being in a multimedia comics franchise and all that. really hope the sequel doesnt get crunched too bad. oh but copaganda not great 99/10

video games:

twisted wonderland: gacha game where random disney villains are bishie high schoolers instead. ill play chapter 3 sometime soon i swear. gameplay is terrible as with most gacha games but the characters are cute? i feel terrible guilt for being involved with a disney franchise. honestly pretty compelling character writing sometimes though sorry

apico: stardew-like about raising bees (in beta). sooooo cute and the devs obv care about bees a lot in real life. the gameplay loop + breeding systems are a little bit punishing right now though i really hope it gets adjusted. took over my life during finals (woops) and i got like half the bees and then burnt out. multiplayer is fun though!

legend of zelda tears of the kingdom: the next zelda game, now featuring building + vertical elements. yeah this took over my life for two months like it did for a bunch of other people i finished the main story a couple days ago! i might go back to do a couple more of the shrine puzzles, but other than that i think im done. LOVE the vertical elements and also all the little sidequests there are to do and how the world has changed since botw. dragons tears was really good and OMG PROVING GROUNDS. would be a 10/10 if zelda was the protag stop damseling her you guys cmon

paper mario origami king: newest paper mario game, which is a spinoff of the main series where theyre all paper (duh). im about halfway through this, i think? tried it out because of the dunkey video lol and also bc it was free at my library. very charming and inventive, has a really good soundtrack and really funny writing! i know the gameplay was controversial, but im enjoying it a lot (and theres a lot of room for error). might 100% it

it feels like this month i tried a lot of things that i didnt really like LMAO. also a lot of romance. im very happy about finally finishing the goldfinch! the only holdout on my libby is slaughterhouse 5 :P i did find some things that i really liked though! anyways this one feels a bit more scattered but if you got to the ending, congratulations! thanks for reading :3