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#wishing u so much love and every good thing
sokkszn · 3 days
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you know, he won’t
anton x fem!reader
warnings: (his name is mentioned once so you can very much imagine anyone else in his position) angst angst angsttttttt, mention of period, cussing, questioning his sexuality and damn its just angst guys. fluff if u squint and face away from ur screen👍(proofread but take it w a grain of salt its 5.20am rn)
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your relationship with anton was complicated. it seems crazy to say that because you were dating him —have been for years. you knew you loved him, or else you wouldn’t have stayed all those years. it was just how he treats you.
he didn’t treat you badly, you dont think he was even capable of doing so, he was just… so, absent minded? inattentive rather. he just never paid attention. of course theres the cute things that he does like, buying you a fresh bouquet of flowers every weekend, or buying you snacks when you’re on your period. but it was never your favourites, it was never fresh smelling hyacinth, the only flower you found yourself obsessing over, or your favourite bitter-tasting dark chocolate. you remember listing these early on into dating, thinking he would’ve atleast noted it down, but, nothing.
it was all trivial at the end of the day, you know he loves you… he just has an odd way of showing it, you guess. his love was never accommodated to you, he loved you the way he wanted to, there’s nothing wrong with that, you think, but you just wish you could be loved the way you wanted, you wish you could morph him into your perfect man. which sucks, because you knew he was good for you, you knew you loved him, you just wished he was better.
you tried to accept him for what he truly is —distant. but sometimes it hurts? not being able to receive what you want from this relationship knowing he receives what he wants. you know he loves you but why won’t he show it? properly.
you want to hold him in the night, you want to caress his hair to relieve his stress, you want to jump up and down excited with him, you want to love him, but you just, can’t. you can’t look at him without feeling resentment, without feeling like you’re the problem, and sometimes you are, you can admit that, but this.. this is different, its not a fight, its not a disagreement nor is it an argument. you just don’t feel loved, the way you want at least. this makes you feel selfish, but he’s the one being loved, not you. you know that he knows you feel like this, but he won’t do anything about it. you know he loves you, but he wont show it.
he makes you feel disgusting, like you’re unlovable —or rather unworthy of love. but you know he loves you.
it hurts, honestly, it really fucking hurts. you see how he acts with his friends, how he’s comfortable with initiating skinship with them, how he gets excited around them, how he remembers little things about them. honestly? sometimes you think he’s gay.
maybe this is all out of jealousy, but you’re his girlfriend, he just doesn’t fucking act like it.
for some reason, even though you know it’s not your fault, you cant help but feel guilty and tear up at these thoughts, he’s your boyfriend, you’re meant to love him wholeheartedly. and you did, but thats exactly the problem, you did.
maybe, you truly just loved him.
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a/n: guys i’ve never been in a relationship i have no clue where this angst came from 👍 also im ngl the whole time writing this i felt like i was in that one sad video, daddy is the sweetest in the world, daddy wants me to be the best, i love my daddy, but…. but he lies 😭😭😭 guys did i eat w the fic name yes or naurrrrrr 🫦
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shirayuricky · 1 day
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(oh you sound so busy 😓 and a month is so close omg may uni be take it easy with you, fighting!! i'll look foward to it then I'm sure it will be so good 🥹)
fluff but hard thoughts (???)
this one is REALLY long .. i'm sorry !!
well, it's so embarrassing and a bit weird / cringey actually but i thought about it out of sudden and can't get it off my head pls help (pleasee ignore this if u don't like it im so embarrassed so i apologize if u think it's too weird 😅
rlly ah why i thought abt it 🫠
this is abt gunwookie btw i love him smmm
for reference i wanted to add those pictures of him wearing that snorlax onesie but i don't know why i can't add images here
reader lives alone on her apartment so she's always spending her free time doing the things that makes her happy. she rlly enjoys having these self-healing times but still feels kinda lonely sometimes, that's when she ends up falling asleep cuddling her GIANT teddy bear she got on one of that big claw machines. only when she feels lonely, she tells herself. she is good on her own... but who is she lying to? she hugs that bear so tightly every single night, that's her best friend. she didn't got close to anybody at college and the routine is tough, that fluffy bear is the only one that always hear the feelings she holds deep down her heart and she feels comforted by that she even named him and takes it all around the house, when she's watching movies, cooking and baking or just being. one night she got so worked up after watching a romance movie with unexpected hot scenes that she just couldn't sleep thinking about it. suddenly she felt her body heat up while still holding tight to her bear cause she thought hugging him again would help her sleep faster even tho it didn't. instead, she started slowing grinding on it searching for some kind of relief. when she realized she was whimpering against the bear's soft cheeks and couldn't stop riding it so she started crying she felt so needy, sad and hopeless at the same time. she felt asleep bc of all the crying and her heart breaking she just wished her teddy bear could hug her back and take care of her.
deep in her sleep she felt a really soft touch, caressing her thighs, her waist and then hear face. she tought it was a dream, but when she felt a small kiss on her cheek she woke up to the sight of the prettiest guy she's ever seen and he was smiling so prettily and sweet but still he was a stranger, obviously she would scream. her high pitched scream almost broke the cute boy's heart. why was she screaming like this after telling him i love you every night. he was teary-eyed.
"WHO TF ARE YOU? HOW DID YOU GOT IN MY ROOM YOU PERV?" she was freaking out, who wouldn't though? she was so disturbed by the vision of a unknown -tall as hell- man IN HER BED wearing fcking bear pajamas. who is tryna prank her?
he tilted his head to the side in confusion and said "it's me gunwookie"
she blinked like five times before widening her eyes and again asking herself if this is a prank, how could it be, no one knows about her shameful friendship with a teddy bear, so how could he knows the name of it? he must be a stalker.
"what are your intentions? why are you... stalking me? how do you know me?"
and he looked even more confused than her
"i just wanna take care of you, i love you so much too, it was you who brought me here and I'm so thankful that you treat me so well" he smiled again
something sparked on her brain and she looked around her room searching for the giant teddy bear until she noticed he was there anymore... it can't be...?
"wait... are you my wookie bear? what am i saying? that's impossible..."
he just nodded his head and smiled again
"are you for real??" and gunwook confirmed but seconds later his smile dropped
"why were you crying earlier? i got so worried" and he pouted sadly
oh so he is really my bear, she thought
"I was feeling too sad and lonely gunwookie :( that's why"
"is there something i can do to make you better?" he asked and she just jumped on him giving the biggest hug ever, she needed that
"just stay here with me please gunwookie"
"okay i won't go anywhere" and he hugged her back
after a moment he speaked up again "I'm so sorry"
"why are you saying that, wookie?"
"did i hurt you? you were near me doing those sounds and then you started crying, i don't really understand what happened.. it sounded like you were in pain.. did i do something wrong? please explain me and i promised i will apologize properly to you and repair any mistake"
oh this is gonna be a really long night
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(oh 🍄 anon my tests for this week has ended and now i'm back to this. and i got your back! i found some pics of gunwook in a snorlax hoodie. if you're in anon, you can't share images, just links!)
so continuing on from where we left, you explained that you are not in pain, just desperate for pleasure. gunwook seems a bit clueless but when he gets what you're trying to mean, his cheeks blush in pink. he lets you take the lead, he doesn't want to hurt you. he just wanted you to feel satisfied in your sleep.
you ride his cock, bouncing up and down, as you interlocked both of your hands together with his hands. and his blush just gets more pink. he's getting flustered from the pleasure, sweet and soft moans spilling out of his lips.
after the both of you cummed, you tidied yourself up and gave gunwook a simple aftercare, solely made of cuddles. "sorry for that, i was just...needy." you apologised. "y/n, that's alright, at least you're...happy now." gunwook responded, wrapping his arms around you.
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hyunpic · 9 months
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2023 year in review with hyunjin [it’s a wrap] 🎉
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basketobread · 10 months
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Can I just say that i absolutely ADORE the way you draw the bg3 girls and lunara? I am in love with all of them and want to be there for their shenanigans lol great art! ♡
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GRAAAAHHHH KICKING MY FEET AND SPINNING AROUND!! THANK YOUUUUU!!!! im so glad you're here to witness all the shenanigans to be had anon!!!! it wouldnt be complete without you!!! THANKS SO MUCH AGAIN!!!! ❤❤❤❤
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bunnihearted · 2 months
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ᡣ𐭩 🍓。ꪆৎ ˚⋅
#unrequited feelings are so embarrassing T-T#like idk theres just smth so so shameful and pathetic abt it for me#the person whose voice who feels like a safe haven and that makes my heart feel safe and calm.. feels that with someone else's voice#the person i want to talk to everyday and talk abt our days and share pics and rambles and say gn/gm to.. is doing that with someone else#the person i think of and wanna share myself with.. does that w someone else#the person i wanna know everything abt and ask thousands of question to does that w someone else#the person i wish to talk to with my voice even if that in itself is smth anxious for me.. does that with someone else#just all ofthe feelings i have. all of the wishes i have. about them. they feel and think about another person in their life#idk it just feels so so so humiliating#to long and ache and want for a person and they feel those things mutually with someone else#and itisharder when it wasnt a 100% unrequited crush from the beginning#but in a moment in time many of those things did occur and there was a hope that more would occur#iamlike a snailand it takes longer for me to warm up and i hate that. i hate that im so slow and it takes so long bc like#why am i so scared??? why am i especially scared of things that feel good??? i WANTED all of it but i was too scared for moving quick#and then when my desire was overriding my fear ://// idk... idk ....#i just dont know how i fucked it up but i did#and now having these feelings is humiliating and painful bc they couldve been requited if i hadnt messed it all up#so now instead of feeling smth amazing for the first time in my life im once again stuck with pain#not knowing if it'll ever go away. if i can feel this way for someone else who will feel it for me as well. will i always be alone?#and when u are in love it's also *that* person. i cant just transfer these feelings onto someone else :///#ijust dont know but it all sucks sm and i think abt every fucking day every single second and i wish i didnt feel anything#i wish i didnt feel so deeply bc it hurts too bad#knowing that i couldve had all i dream of and more but i lacked too much and was too scared... fucking hate myself so much bro
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kuromi-hoemie · 11 months
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kinda wanna try hunting down all the lynels in totk. ever since i killed that silver one in the depths I'm just like wait omg i wanna go back and find those mfs who were giving me a hard time 😤🤺 ← she wants 2 dance !!!
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deadrlngers · 1 year
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i miss her so much u guys can't even imagine how much lovesick i am
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pepprs · 2 years
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i am now a cookie run kingdom girl. 🙈😭
#purrs#i prefer ovenbreak in terms of the gameplay bc i LOVE play formers and hate strategy games and the resource grinding where u basically just#have to sit there and wait for a ticking clock instead of doing things urself. but im gonna be honest i took one look at milky way cookie#and i KNEW it was over and i would have to play this game. and it’s not as bad as i thought like the graphics are so much better and i love#the designs and the auto mode takes me away from having to deal w strategy stuff bc i literally don’t care and hate the battles etc etc#but im having a good time i think. im at like lvl 15 with a lvl 4 kingdom and i have milky way and some other rly good characters and im#doing well for now. it’s just intimidating looking up tutorials and stuff bc ppl in the discord are all so advanced and talk in shorthand i#don’t understand and i feel like shit for being a noob but that’s also the case for ovenbreak and idc abt competing w ppl anyways. so w/e#one very annoying aspect is like.. how EVRRYTHING requires stuff at the smithy even when you’re trying to access new levels but it takes so#lo ng to make the damn pickaxes 😭 so im just spending all my crystals on those + expanding territory quickly bc all the buildings are#stressing me out. im probably gonna regret it but again im not competing w anyone and if this is what i need to do to enjoy the experience#then so be it. also the moments in levels where it makes u jump and stuff to replicate ovenbreak are so funny to me 💀#like it’s so lame compared to what ovenbreak actually is it makes me giggle every time. i wish these games were combined and i wish milky#way was in ovenbreak she’s genuinely my new favorite cookie of all time i think. i love her SO much#well but i feel bad putting her above pistachio cookie 😭 so they’re tied i guess#also *platformers in my first tag#cr
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eggphcbe · 2 years
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   i log onto here after a million years and see 99+ notifs owo
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hooned · 2 years
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i love you, park jongseong 🥺
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nomaishuttle · 11 months
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i literally have completionist brain but for real life and like. not a fun way for me to play games Definitely not a fun way for me to live irl
#bc in games like. skyrim or what have you i do nottt play them right ik there isnt a right way to play them#but i do every single quest and i pick the options thtall give me the best rewards etc and it just isnt very fun. and rhe point is that its#a role playing game so i should roleplay and if i want to see what happens if i pick the other options i just Make anew save instead of#reloading over and over again. and yet#and its not fun in the sims bc j literally judt force them to max their skills get highest level in their careers complete theiraspirations#and then im just like. ok. and it ends up making my sims games so samey and not fun bc ill Make sims thatr different from eachother but#well. 1. sims 4 sims do not act different from eachother Lmao you Can pick different traits but the most u get is moodlets and maybe 2-5#dialogue options. not that much... vs like skms 3 where each trait could change up a sim a lot#butttt whatever. anyways...#but yeah irl im like Noooo i cant just do this 1 good job bc there are all these other jobs i also need to do i cant pick one major i have#to do all of them i cant Not be able to romance this person !! but real life isnt a video game and that mindset fucking sucks for videogame#anyway... like i like completing a game but i wish i didnt let it ruin games 4 me#bc it rly does i never finish games anymore bc i stress myself out over 100% it...#and i make too many spreadsheets abt them. but i love spreadsheets :[[[[#i should go back to sdv again.. and return to an old save thats another thing#ill obsess iver a game to the point i burn out completely and stop playing and then ill get the urge to play again#but i start a new save and inevitably burn out again and its like ! the devil
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xhatake · 2 years
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thinking invasively about the time i did a [holy] amount of psychedelics & my partner came home to me, crouched in the living room so that my incense was eye level, gremlin-style, listening to blue bird ... which i had been listening to for several hours. tho i didn't know this until he came home.
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diomedrian · 2 years
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It's so WEIRD that during the day I am like. Dead and lazy and absolutely do NOT want to move. And the minute it's five and it's dark outside, hoo boy do I not only have a to do list BUT ALSO the motivation and the energy to do it all
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mxdotpng · 5 months
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the zestiria anime fixes and also messes up many things at the exact same time its actually kind of impressive i have to salute them for it
#.text#zestiria#i mentioned this elsewhere but i really really loved sorey and mikleos argument in the game.#like i love it so much.#mikleo is angry because sorey wont let him fight for the sake of protecting sorey - and. to be honest. himself. he is much less#in danger of succumbing to malevolence as a sublord - and sorey is angry that mikleo doesnt understand that he doesnt want#him to be put into danger especially for the sake of. Sorey. of all people. he wants mikleo to be safe. much like how#mikleo wants sorey to be safe#and i wish mikleo had been more fussy abt sorey being so. like. 'willing' isnt extreme enough of a word really.#but how he was so willing to make alisha his squire at the sake of his own health and his own life#whereas he outright refused mikleo wanting to be his sublord at every chance. because. well if i were mikleo thatd piss me off so. much#mikleo never blew his casket though even though he wouldve been in the right so u know maybe hes better than me#but i also do genuinely love how mikleo realizes hes lost. Without all of that. and it isnt entirely because of sorey either#i think mikleo does suffer a lot from. hilariously. having a character too ingrained into sorey. much like woman love interests go figure..#so him realizing that his entire life has been with and For sorey and now that he has this destiny & they stand on diverging paths#mikleo doesnt know what his life is supposed to be or what kind of person hes supposed to become. is good. thats good.#and i like it a lot#but oh my god i MISS that argument it like. said so much about sorey and mikleos characters#it pretty much set the stage for soreys self sacrificial tendancies and how he has little regard for his own safety#and mikleos devotion and loyalty. as well as his fear of losing too early the one thing in his life he knows he wont have for long#does this make any sense im just saying words now#idk im still watching maybe itll happen in the next episode!! if it does then DISREGARD EVERYTHING IVE SAID#tho the anime DOES mess up a lot of things -- im not fond of the way the bersy section played out#it isnt bad that its different however some choices feel ... absurd ? to me#ok back to my hw bye!
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bunnihearted · 6 months
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🐁☁️🌫️
#sorry gnna sound like a shit person now but im not feeling well i just need to rant#nothing good ever happens to me. every aspect of my life is a mess. im constantly miserable w nothing to pull me out of it#it's been getting worse nd worse for years nd if it keeps getting worse im not gnna be able to take it much longer#ofc there are sooo many others who have it way way way worse than i do. so i feel weak nd pathetic for being so affected by it when i know#it could be literally sm worse than it is now. like i get that. i know im not nearly as bad off as many ppl are#but idk still it's rlly tough to have *nothing* that makes me keep going. the literal only thing is that i dont kms bc i dont wanna hurt mom#bc im poor so i cant do ANYTHING. i cant go anywhere. not the cinema not concerts not to the mall not to the bookstore not an amusent park#i cant even go to cafées bc i dont have any money at all to spend on that#i have no friends to hang out w. even if i couldnt afford going anywhere i cant even just take a walk or sit nd talk to them bc there r none#my sisters havent talked for me in over a year#and like yada yada i dont have anything to pull me out of my misery bubble. no friends to comfort me no family to hang out w#nothing to do or nowhere to go. hell i havent even been able to eat for 8 months so i cant even like eat smth yummy nd watch a movie lmao#i cant even read bc of the constant noise! i cant go out into the forest bc there r always subway construction work or choppers or gun shots#i know im 'focusing on the negative' but what am i supposed to do when theres nothing positive to focus on lol?????#im always physically uncomfortable bc of pain nd health issues nd im always anxious nd stressed too so like... yay#and. this is where i sound mean but like after years nd years of nothing good happening to me... idc for others anymore like#when they talk abt their loving relationships and their kind friends nd them going to concerts im like.. wow !! u get to be happy!! i dont!!#im just envious nd jealous nd bitter bc why cant i have ANYTHING good???? not just ONE fkn thing?#other ppl get to have multiple things but i get nothing?????#and its not exactly like i hate them or wish illwill on them im just like wow kinda dont feel sympathy for u bc u have sm things#i've never had :))) nd u can never understand how awful it feels to be deprived of it so idc :))))
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ratspider · 5 months
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stardewvalley......
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