#woah its September already

[skullcula]

terminally online achievement LFG!!!!!!!

[tpwkluv]

Em! How we feeling about 1. "How could you? That was my mother's!" For sweet Angel boy Steve Harrington? (P.s. - hi. You’re lovely)

Thank you for the request, my dear anon; however, I have to tell you, this prompt broke my brain. I’m sorry it took so long, and I hope this lil thing does your hopes justice! I wrote so many different stories for this before settling on this.

As always, please feel free to leave any comments and critiques or just chat in general!

P.S. thank you, but not as lovely as you for fueling the creativity of little ole me.

tags/warnings: i do be cursing, small mention of losing a parent, infertility issues, miscarriage, angst, but a happy ending i promise

2.9k prompt: “How could you? That was my mother’s”; almost a decade’s worth of love threatened by a moment of insecurity, in which you have a secret and Steve finds out.

September, 1993

It’s been seven years since Steve asked you to be his girlfriend. Since Hawkins put itself back together with duct tape. A temporary fix, but enough to get by after most of the townsfolk packed their bags and never looked back. Your little group of outcasts had finally come to terms with how fast life can pass by, and Steve couldn’t handle another second without expressing just how much he needs you.

Five years since he asked you to be his wife. A late night stroll around the apartment complex. A routine for when you both couldn’t sleep. Hand in hand, staring up at the sky, and asking which memory had sunk its nasty teeth in this time. Sometimes the harder questions got ignored; instead, you both would gush about your dreams. To leave Hawkins, once the now college age kids got old enough, to get a start on that brood of Harringtons, and to finally get a good night’s sleep without fear of monsters hidden somewhere deeply below the bed.

You had finally let go of his hand to unlock the door and walk in when he called your name from behind. The boy was on one knee, sweatpants digging into the welcome mat and faded Hawkins High tee sticking to his skin (which he later blamed on the intensity of the walk, and never admitted to it being nerves). He thought you had never looked prettier. Backlit from the soft amber glow of the hallway light, hair falling down your shoulders, and that soft dumbstruck look on your face.

Now two years after the wedding, you’re sitting on the floor of your work’s bathroom with those stupid pink lines staring straight back at you.

“Hello?”

“Eds,” you sob. “I think I’m going to throw up and I can’t tell Steve because I know it’ll just break his heart again and I didn’t expect it to be posi—”

“Woah, slow down. Are you okay? Why would Steve get mad? What the hell are you talking about?”

You try to reply, but you can’t breathe. Hot tears rolling down your cheeks, chest heaving with grief and guilt.

“Deep breaths, in and out. Breathe with me. There you go. It’s okay.” The air creeps its way back into your lungs just enough for your tears to slow down . “Just head on over and we can talk about whatever is going on, okay?”

So you tell your manager you’ve caught a stomach bug and try your best to stay calm as you drive over to his apartment.

Eddie has been one of your closest friends since he moved into the trailer park across the street back in grade school. He was the first to know when Steve asked you out, huffing out how it was about damn time. And he was the first to know when Steve had proposed, but he claimed he already knew. “How do you think Steve finally got the balls to ask you? I told him he better shoot his shot now before some other gentleman with fantastic hair sweeps in and steals you away,” he had said with a wink and elbow digging into Steve’s side.

And now he was the first to know that you were pregnant—again.

You and Steve had been trying for kids since the night of your honeymoon, so excited to have a clan of your own. Your children would grow up never questioning whether or not their parents loved them. You reveled in the dreams of being there for your kids in a way your parents never were for either of you. Steve’s parents chose not to do so, but your mother had no choice. Her weekly hospital visits turned into staying there, which turned into hospice, and eventually losing her completely.

But the excitement of being ‘#1 Mom and Dad’ turned into heartbreak, rushed trips to the hospital, therapy sessions, and a newfound fear every time you missed a period and those pink lines popped up. So eventually you stopped trying. No use in causing more tears and more tension in the relationship when all the two of you could focus on was the dream you could never have.

This is not to say the sex stopped. You still participated in testing out the ol’ mattress, but you went on birth control and Steve often wore condoms. It was overkill, but it protected you both from adding anymore anguish to the ever climbing piles of trauma.

So how the hell did you end up here?

Shuffling up to Eddie’s door, you let out a ragged breath and knock. The faint sound of feet running across carpet pools out from beneath the door. Then those soft, doe eyes are staring down at you. “Oh, sweets, come on in”, he soothes, hands resting on your shoulders before pulling you into a hug.

“I thought you guys were using protection?” Eddie questions, setting down a tea mug on the coffee table in front of you, and making his way to sit next to you on the couch.

“We were! I mean—we do… so I don’t know how this happened,” you sigh out, resting your head atop your hands and rubbing your temples.

“Well,” he starts, placing a hand on his chest while the other reaches for the sky, “methinks this doth be a gift. A light shining out to sea on a stormy night!”

“Shut up,” you tease, lightly tapping his shoulder before cradling your head in your hands once more. “I really don’t think I can go through this again, Eds. I can’t tell Steve. I can’t put him through this again.”

“What? You have to tell him. He deserves to—”

“He deserves to be happy, Eddie,” you plead, cutting him off. “Steve was so excited to start a family. The one thing he wants more than anything, and—and I can’t give it to him.” Tears work their way out once again, and wrapping an arm around you, Eddie gently pulls you in to place your head on his shoulder. 

“I know it’s a shit situation, but I promise you’ll get through this. I have a good feeling this time,” he beams, softly laying his head against yours.

“Just promise me you won’t tell Steve? Not until I’m further along.”

“Scouts honor,” he sighs.

“Can you go with me to my first appointment? I’m going to call tomorrow and schedule it.”

“Oh my god! Of course! Do we get to hear the baby’s heartbeat and see it on that little pixelated black and white alien picture thing?”

“No, you dummy, it’s just going to be a blood test to make sure I am actually pregnant and see how high my hCG levels are, and then we’ll know how far along I am.”

“Oh,” he responded dejectedly. “Despite that being infinitely less cool, I’ll still be there. Are you sure you don’t want Steve to go? I feel like I’m entering his territory here, doll.”

“I’m sure, Eddie. I can’t put him through that again. It’s not that I don’t want Steve to know. I just want to save him the heartbreak, but I don’t think I can do it alone.”

November, 1993

It was unbearable keeping this from Steve. Two months of waiting for the spotting, the cramping, the pain of failing again. Sixty days of not telling the man you love most in this world. Weaving a web of lies for why you had to leave work early, why you couldn’t eat the dinner he made, why you wouldn’t have sex with him anymore, why you were going to see Eddie so much more than usual.

“Mrs. Harrington?” the nurse called. “Dr. Newfield will see you now. Follow me please.”

Deep breaths. In and out. Nothing to worry about. Just a 14 week checkup. Ya know, the one you haven’t made it to before. It’s totally okay. Deep breaths. Steve should be here. Oh my god he needs to be here. I need him here.

Eddie covers your hand with his, “Go on, it’ll be alright. I’ll be right here when you—”

“Oh my gosh! How could I forget? I have a dentist appointment today,” you blurt out, shooting up and walking towards the entrance. “Pregnancy brain! Please tell Dr. Newfield I’ll reschedule as soon as possible. Thank you!”

The bell rings out, announcing your departure, feet flying on the pavement before fumbling with the door handle of the Bronco. Hot tears roll down your cheeks, chest tight and unrelenting. Eddie grabs your hand, pulling it to his chest, “Remember to breathe, okay? Look at me. Don’t look at your feet, look in my eyes.”

Once he’s happy, Eddie drops your hand and places his own on your shoulders, “Alright, you going to tell me what the hell just happened in there?”

“I panicked,” you sigh, pulling your eyebrows together. “I’ve never made it this far along, and I realized I don’t want to go through this without Steve. As much as it terrifies me to know what is going on up in here,” you let out a teary chuckle, gesturing a finger around your stomach, “It scares me more to not have him here with me.”

“Well, I was going to save this until after the appointment, but since that is no longer happening, I think this breakthrough is a cause for celebration, too,” Eddie smiles. Reaching into the pocket of his jean jacket, he pulls out a rectangular velvet box.

Steve left early from work. Made up some lame excuse to his boss, but in reality he wanted to come home to you. You had called in today for a stomach bug and when he left this morning, you were shut in the bathroom with no signs of coming out soon. He wanted to stop by the store and get your favorites to surprise you, hoping this would make you open up to him. He hated how distant you were lately, and couldn’t help the doubt and jealousy that creeped in from how you were visiting Eddie more often than normal.

As he walked down the main street of town, he saw you and Eddie across the street by your car. Steve couldn’t hear him, but he could see the way he rubbed your arms and shoulders. He could see you beaming from ear to ear when he pulled a jewelry box out of his pocket. Eddie stepped behind you, delicately moving your hair to one side, and gently placing a necklace across your chest. Your hand came up to grab it, smiling down before turning around to hug him tightly.

Steve would like to think he was a level-headed individual, but his suspicions had been confirmed. You were cheating on him with your best friend. His best friend.

“I never thought I’d get to wear this, Eddie. Thank y—”

“What the hell do you think you’re doing with my girl, Munson?”

You turn around to see Steve barreling at you with a look you’ve never seen. He was furious, but there was something indiscernible in his eyes.

“Woah, Steve. Calm down, okay? What the hell is going on with you?” Eddie demands, cocking an eyebrow.

“Do me a favor and spare me the innocent bullshit”, he fumes before directing his attention to you. “So this is why you won’t talk to me anymore? Feeling guilty for going behind my back and sleeping with our best friend.”

Your mouth fell open. Shocked at just how wrong he had judged the situation. More tears already brimming at your waterline, in utter disbelief that he could ever think you were capable of hurting him like that. “Steve. That’s not what’s going on. How could you even think I coul—”

“Then why the fuck is he touching you like that and what the hell is this?” he asks, his hand reaching up to the golden heart laying on your chest and snatching it away before tossing it out towards the street.

Your eyes follow it and before you could even react, Eddie is already jogging to search for it, but not before shooting daggers at Steve. But he didn’t notice, his eyes were transfixed on yours.

“How could you do that, Steve?” you shout, tears now falling. “That was my mother’s!”

His brows knit in confusion, but the hurt and anger in his eyes didn’t waiver. “Then why have I never seen you wear it? In the almost ten years we’ve been together, I have never once seen you wear that”, he spat.

“Because I just got it from my father!” you sob. “The pendant was damaged, so I took it over to Wayne months ago and asked if he had any tools to fix it. I was finally able to wear it and you’ve ruined it!”

Steve’s brows finally relax and a look of guilt crosses his face as he sees you sobbing into your hands. He comes up to you and wraps his arms around your back, pulling your face into his chest. “Sweetheart, I am so sorry. I had no idea. I just assumed that was why you stopped putting effort into us.”

You pull your head back to look at him. “I would never, ever, do that to you”, you scolded before taking a deep breath, “But I have been lying to you.”

“O-okay?” he says, a look of confusion plastered across his features.

“I’m pregnant”, you state matter-of-factly. 

“You’re pregnant?” he questions, pausing like he hasn’t processed it fully. “You’re pregnant?! When did y—“

“Nope. I talk, you listen,” you plead, shooting a hand up to stop him from talking. He nods, a puzzled look forming and biting back a small smile.

“I took a test two months ago, and I didn’t want to tell you because I couldn’t stand to see that hope and happiness get ripped from you again,” you gesture to the look he has now. “But I also knew there was no way for me to do this on my own, so I asked Eddie to take me to my appointments until I knew this one was safe. That is why it has been so hard for me to speak with you. It’s been hell trying to keep this from you, and I have been dreading the day I wake up and it’s all over.”

You close your eyes and breathe as his hand comes to rest along your jaw. Opening your eyes, you see his own have glazed over and he’s sporting the dopiest smile. “How far along are you? Do you know what it is?”

“Fourteen weeks,” you whisper, afraid that if you say it too loudly it will all come crashing down, but the smile growing on his face brings some solace. “And I have no idea what they are yet. That’s actually what this vis—”

“They? As in plural? Like, more than one?” Steve asks with wide eyes, moving between your belly and your eyes. You can’t help but giggle as you look at him, and then he’s smiling at you. Those brown eyes full of love and adoration, wondering how he got so lucky. He wraps his hands around your waist, pulling you close and swaying you gently. Lost in your own dream, surrounded by your little family.

“I found it!” Eddie calls, holding out the necklace and walking back over. You both look over, smiles beaming as Steve lets go and reaches for your hand. “I take it everything has been resolved?”

“Thank you, Eddie,” Steve says with a small smile, grabbing the jewelry from his hands. “For this, and for taking care of my girl. I’m sorry I freaked out on you,” he murmurs, looking down at the ground and rubbing his hand against the back of his neck.

Eddie clasps a hand on his shoulder, “Water under the bridge, dude. I’m just happy you know now. Felt like I was going to have a heart attack from the stress.”

You nod vehemently in agreement with his last statement, and Steve chuckles at you both before turning to you, “Well, I’m sure these little nuggets will appreciate the relaxation.”

“These? There’s two?!” Eddie practically yells. “How did I not know this! Why didn’t you tell me?”

You let out a bright laugh, “Eddie, you would actually have to go back there with me to see it on the ultrasound.”

“No way. I’m not trying to see your lady bits,” he retorts, hands coming up to make an “X” and Steve joins in on the laughter.

“That’s not how ultrasounds work, Eddie,” you sigh, “and I didn’t tell you because I wanted it to be a surprise for you both.”

“Well, then let’s go back in there and find out what they are!,” Eddie demands, already walking back towards the office.

You turn to follow, but Steve turns you towards him and pulls your hand to his mouth to place a chaste kiss. “I really am sorry, baby. I know this couldn’t have been easy on you. And I promise, I will take this chain to a jeweler as soon as possible and have it fixed. I love you, sweetheart.”

“I love you too, Steve,” you say, placing a hand along his neck and bringing him down for a kiss.

Taglist: @enchantedlandcoffee

*edit: i forgot to do the tag list, so I added it on and please forgive me LOL. If you can’t read due to the topics or no longer want tagged i completely understand, just let me know!

[steppingonyourshadow]

Complete Q&A from Elle September 2024

Elle: When you're on a break do you think about things that happened on set?

XZ: Of course. I remember dreaming about it a few days after we had wrapped, that we were still shooting and I was there talking to the director about how we'd say those words, how we were going to deal with that scene.

Elle: Do you miss the atmosphere on set?

XZ: I really like it, I like the feeling of everyone creating something together, all pulling together to do the same thing really well.

Elle: When you first became an actor and during the time when your popularity grew really fast, you said it felt a bit unreal, magical. But now you seem pretty relaxed. How did this change come about?

XZ: Rather than it being unreal, magical, after all these years I think back then I hadn't gotten used to such a fast pace, and when I woke up each day, I'd barely know where I was and what I was doing. I think it's a process, like how everyone's so excited when they first enter employment, "I'm here, please take good care of me", "this young master is coming through, out of my way", "I can do it, I am good". [laughs] But after you've experienced a lot, you'll realise that everything needs long-term planning.

Elle: In several interviews you mentioned that you like to play characters that "can transmit energy". Why is that?

XZ: Because I think that's the life of a character. When I say "transmit energy", I don't mean just the usual, basic sense of positive energy. What I mean is being able to provide nourishment in a subtle way - like spring rains sinking silently into the dirt. I believe that every character has at heart a complete storyline, this is something I really like. If you dig deep, they can all move people. I don't like to label antagonists as "bad guys", as if you've already decided from the start that they're not good. But that's not right - he might have his own difficulties.

Elle: It sounds like "transmitting energy" is only an umbrella term, actually it's understanding different types of people through performance.

Xiao Zhan: That's right. If we break it down to each character, they all transmit different things. But if we make them into "good guys", "bad guys", I think that makes it less interesting.

Elle: So do you consider performance a method of communication?

Xiao Zhan: Yes, you could say that, I like that. Performance is a bridge connecting the actor and the audience. Like how when my shows are on, I'll read a bit of audience commentary and analysis and feel that their reactions to the work are really complex. When I see comments that coincide exactly with my thoughts when we shot it, I find that really magical, like we really connected along this bridge. In life we might not know each other, we've never spoken, but all of a sudden because they got what I was thinking at the time, it makes me feel that performance is a really wonderful, magical thing.

Elle: Do you watch or read science fiction?

XZ: I do, I liked Three Body. Recently I've actually been watching some sci-fi, like the American drama Constellation, and also Dark Matter, they're both multiverse, alternative universe shows. Because I think maybe there really are parallel universes. Each of your choices creates a new splinter alternative universe.

Elle: Do you think about the Xiao Zhan of those alternative universes?

XZ:  I really do. For example, is he still an actor? Maybe he is, then is he shooting right now? Is he still singing? Or is he still a designer? Is he still an employee or has he become the boss? [laughs] Really, I do think about it.

Elle: What about the future, what do you think it'll be like?

XZ: Woah, I actually think at that point the world might revert to its origins, maybe it will be more wonderful, with interpersonal communication returning to a more natural form.

Elle: That's really interesting. Why do you think that?

XZ:  Actually, at least at the moment I'm a bit sick of the internet being ever-present. When we were kids and we didn't have cellphones, we'd chat during meals, all the kids would be called downstairs from their apartment blocks to play together, doing hide and seek and other games. Those times were really precious.

Elle: Will actors still exist in that future?

XZ: I think so. I believe that so long as life continues, theater will exist. Because we need a form of expression, to experience empathy, and to have emotional sustenance, whether it's in images or sounds. So I think even if the world was destroyed, so long as people still exist, theater will surely still exist.

[yuyusuyu]

blurred lines and lies — 02. a blurred line that split into two

synopsis. you were always with yeosang, hips stuck together and hands glued to each other. he was all you knew and you were all he knew too for a while, but then you both grew up, one moving at a faster pace than the other. yeosang left you behind to awkwardly navigate the rest of an adventure—high school—without him while he embarked on a new one—college—by himself. the line of being best friends blurred somewhere along the way, and you find yourself crying on the night he promises to be someone else's because you love him. you've always loved kang yeosang ever since the days where he was trying to figure out who he was (an awkward and painful era for any teenager in middle school), loved him ever since his voice began cracking as it's tone deepened, loved him ever since he took you to that stupid and overpriced school dance in middle school despite not liking being in a huge crowd, you loved him ever since he began to become a quiet and reserved man. you hoped to be on the other side of things for once, on the other side of the line of being just best friends with kang yeosang; you realize now that it was stupid of you to ever have that sort of hope. and while you began to calm down, you wonder about what it's like being on the other side of a friendship. you don't know, but you hope to find out as you embark an adventure without him. but you didn't realize what it would it do to you and yeosang, and what it would do to you and choi jongho, your other best friend.

warnings. mentions of food. if there's anything i should add, please let me know!

wc. 2.59k

send an ask in my inbox or leave a comment to be added to the taglist! reblogs and comments are appreciated! helps with not getting shadowbanned!

YEOSANG stares at his room that lacks what makes it so uniquely his. his gaze drifts from the empty walls to you spinning around in his armchair, twirling and twirling around until you groan, complaining that you feel dizzy.

the male chuckles, taking a couple steps until he’s behind you, placing his hands down on the back and effectively stopping you from continuing. it makes you look up at him, blinking through narrowed eyes as you wait for the world around you to slow down into its rightful place.

“you good now?” yeosang asks, watching as you slowly nod your head, standing up from the chair. “woah,” he laughs, grabbing your arm when you stumble slightly. “easy there.”

you huff. “remind me to not do that again.”

“more like you have to remind yourself to not do it again.”

“oh.” 

its painfully quiet as you remove yeosang’s hand from around your forearm, only to see that you can’t when he suddenly doesn’t want to let go. you clear your throat. “yeo…?”

“it’s just,” he stops, thinking for a moment before sighing. “it’s just weird… to think about it, you know? us not being together for this.”

instead of replying, you take a deep breath and lean in to hug him. yeosang slumps against you.

“it’s weird to even think about it,” he mumbles. “you’ve always been there.”

“and i always will be,” you say, patting his back. “it’s you and i against this world.”

yeosang chuckles. “us against the world.”

“us against the world.”

it’s mid-september, a little over a month since yeosang left, when you meet choi jongho.

when you think about it, jongho has always been there. you just never really saw him or knew him. maybe because you were too focused on yeosang, or maybe it’s because he was always quiet. either way, it doesn’t change the fact that you are painfully aware of how awkward this is.

“so,” you start, looking off to the side to see jongho already looking at you. you advert your gaze back to your desk, continuing to pack away your books. “for the project, i was thinking we could work on it at one of our places? where do you live?” you make sure everything’s neat before zipping your backpack up. you glance at jongho through your eyelashes, waiting for his answer as you stand straight and place the straps on your shoulders.

jongho blinks at you before replying. “in the apartment complex by x park.”

you looked at him with wide eyes. “you live there too?”

he coughs, shuffling on his feet. “i, uh, already knew you lived there. i saw you a lot… you were with that one guy.”

at the mention of yeosang, you laugh. “you mean yeosang?” you ask.

jongho nods. “mhm. i haven’t seen him as much lately.”

“that’s because he’s in college now,” you say, starting to walk out of the classroom. “anyways, are you free this saturday to start working on the project? you can come up to the floor i live on.”

jongho nods, following after you as you two begin to leave the school. but then he stops dead in his tracks by the school gates. sensing the lack of his presence, you look back and tilt your head at him. “what’s wrong?”

“i, uh,” he pauses, his eyebrows furrowed. “well, is it okay if i walk with you? since we’re both heading the same way…”

you laugh, your eyes closing as you cover your mouth. “jongho, you don’t have to ask. we live in the same apartment complex and we both have to go there.”

he chuckles, quickly catching up to you as you resume walking. “yeah,” he says, “i guess you’re right.”

“he’s really awkward,” you take a peek at your phone, watching yeosang as he swivels around in his armchair. “but actually really funny. he doesn’t even have to try.  yesterday, i honestly don’t even know how he did it, but he managed to make a joke out of my dad’s joke and you know my dad’s jokes aren’t funny, yeo. ”

“is that so?” he hums, still spinning around in his chair as he looks up at the ceiling of his dorm. “i’m happy you made a new friend, yn.”

“i’m happy too,” you laugh, carefully holding onto your laundry basket as you make your way to your room. “easy there, by the way. you’re going to get dizzy and i’m not there to actually stop you, you know.”

yeosang also laughs as he stops spinning himself, letting the armchair slow down by itself. “yeah,” he says, happily sighing. “but you are here. maybe not physically, but you’re here… does that even make sense?” he asks, groaning afterwards.

“it does,” you reply instantly. “you’re here, too… you know that i’ll always be there for you, right? no matter what… i’ll be there.”

it’s then that yeosang sits up, wobbling a bit in his seat before he shakes his head to look at his phone. “i know,” he says. “and i’ll always be there for you, too, no matter what.”

entering your room, you grin, placing your laundry on your bed. “it’s us against the world, yeo.”

“us against the world. always.”

he lied.

you find that it’s easy—becoming friends with jongho is easy. he’s comfortable to be around and is a great friend overall. being friends with him is so easy that you soon tell him about everything: about the importance yeosang has in your life, about your biggest fears and secret dreams that yeosang only knows, about how you wish to break free from the shackles that hold you down and keep you from pursuing what you love. jongho’s always quick to give you advice and comfort, lending you his shoulder while you cry your frustrations out.

something you only ever did with yeosang.

and ever since september, you learned a lot about jongho. you learned that his parents enrolled him a year later and that’s why he was in the same year as you instead of being in his last one, learned that he loved soccer and wishes to pursue a career in it, learned that he has an amazing voice when singing after having gone to a karaoke place after a particularly rough math test, learned that he is incredibly strong, learned that he absolutely hates physical affection and touch. once, you saw that a friend of his was going to hug and jongho immediately stopped his friend from doing so. you also learned that he didn’t like going to new places without someone he knew going with him, and learned that he preferred to give advice rather than being the one on the receiving end.

another thing you learned: apparently, your dads had been best friends throughout high school and even now. it’s how you wound up going to some random field to watch your dad, jongho and his dad and brother play soccer before heading out to play golf and then calling it a day on saturdays (because fridays were specifically reserved for eating dinner with the kangs, according to your mom).

you fell into this little routine easily: eating dinner with yeosang’s parents and your family on fridays before spending time with your dad and jongho’s dad and brother the next day. it was nice. it brought about a lot of comfort and a sense of peace into your seemingly chaotic one with all the thoughts you have in a day.

who you want to be, where you want to be, what you want to do, what you want… all the same thoughts yeosang had when he was seventeen.

whenever you talk to yeosang about jongho, he’s always happy, saying that he’s glad you have someone but there’s always something he wants to tell you but just can’t. even now, as you lay on your bed eating a tub of ice cream with some action movie playing on the tv, he looks at you as if he needs to tell you something but just can’t.

“you,” you point at him with your spoon, “are hiding something from me, kang yeosang.”

“what?” he asks, stuttering and almost falling off his bed. “what makes you think that?”

you shove another spoonful of ice cream into your mouth before replying. “you look like you’ve been wanting to say something since the beginning of october. yeo, it’s almost december now.”

he exhales shakily, running a hand through his long hair. “i… i also made a friend.”

“really?” you ask. you place the tub of ice cream to the side, sitting up on your bed. “well, i’m sure they’re amazing if they managed to befriend you.”

yeosang laughs softly. ���yeah,” he breathes out. “she is pretty amazing.”

your throat runs dry.

she.

“i’m sure she’s pretty amazing,” you cough, smiling at him through the screen.

and she is pretty amazing. that’s why you’ve never blamed yeosang for choosing her.

you don’t know what even drove you and jongho to start studying for finals a week earlier than what everyone usually does, but here you two are, sprawled on his bedroom floor with all sorts of notes and textbooks littering the floor.

and that’s also how you find yourself walking back from the convenience store with a bag of snacks clenched tightly in your hand all because you lost at three games of rock, paper, scissors.

“he so cheated.” you grumble, puffing a cloud of warm air out from your lips, watching as it appears and disappears from how cold it is. you wince, bringing your hands up to your mouth to blow on them before slowly walking again, eventually making it back to the apartment complex.

you let out a sigh of relief, happily shaking the snow off your hair and thick coat, stomping on the welcome mat afterwards to get your boots rid of the already melting snow. then, you start climbing the stairs, cursing and complaining about how the elevator has yet to be fixed despite it having been almost a month since it broke down.

you make it to the first floor—the floor where jongho and his family lives—and just as you take a step forward, a voice calls out.

“yn?”

you turn around so fast that you end up getting whiplash. yeosang almost laughs at you, but nonetheless goes down the last few steps of the stairs that lead up to the second floor to get to you.

“your yeosang?” this time he does laugh. “i’m still the same.”

“sure… that’s what they all say.”

“oh, come on—”

“yeosang?”

both you and yeosang stop your playful banter to look up at the stairs, finding a girl looking at the both of you curiously.

“oh, younghee! come here,” yeosang beckons younghee over, and she climbs down the stairs, standing next to yeosang and leaning against him.

the sight takes you aback because yeosang also doesn’t like physical affection.

“younghee, this is yn, my best friend.” he pauses to ruffle your hair. “yn, this is younghee, my girlfriend.”

your throat runs dry once again and before you can reply, your phone goes off. “oh, excuse me for a second,” you mumble, hurriedly taking out your phone and answering the call.

“yn, how long does it take to get some snacks from down the corner? i’m starving!”

“jjongs, you need to be patient, damn,” you huff. “i’m right outside the floor, actually. i’ll be there in a minute.”

“good, or else i’ll steal your food.”

“you say that as if you won’t be stealing it anyways.”

“you’re right,” jongho laughs. “now hurry up, please!”

clearing your throat, you stuff your phone back into your coat. “i’m so sorry, but i have to study with a friend right now. i hope to talk to you more, younghee.”

“likewise,” she says, smiling.

you give both of them a small wave, not bothering to wait for yeosang to speak up because you saw that he did want to say something before you’re already walking as fast as you can to the chois’ apartment.

yeosang has a girlfriend.

and it isn’t you.

you don’t really hang out with yeosang these days, choosing to avoid him and instead spending your time at jongho’s place, telling him that your place isn’t safe enough. even your parents noticed how you’re going of your way to avoid yeosang and the kangs next door, but they never had the chance to talk to you about with the christmas preparations your family and the chois were doing, along with planning a road trip down to the coast right after christmas.

this is going to be the first christmas and new years that you won’t be spending with yeosang and his family.

much to your distaste, your mom decided that the christmas dinner will be held at your place. but maybe it’s not all that bad with jongho around.

you and jongho laugh as both of your moms kick you out of the kitchen, telling you to go wait out in the living room instead of trying to throw whatever you guys could find at each other. the doorbell rings, and you yell that you’d get the door, giggling as you open the door and shove jongho away from you when he tries to open it.

“oh.” blinking at yeosang, you shuffle awkwardly on your feet. “hi, yeosang.”

“hi,” he says. “i was just stopping by to tell you that… well, um, you know…”

you furrow your eyebrows. “um, no, i don’t know.”

“we won’t be spending today together,” yeosang finally says. “but mom said you could stop by later.”

“oh,” you clear your throat. “i won’t be able to go.”

yeosang frowns. “why not? is this about younghee, yn? you’ve been awfully distant after i introduced you two.”

“what? no,” you scoff, glancing to the side to see jongho already looking at you, almost as if he’s waiting for you to tell him something. you look back at yeosang, sighing. “i’ve just been busy with studying for finals, and my family has been spending a lot of time together with jongho’s. i do really want to get to know younghee, though. i promise. i just can’t right now.”

“is that so?” yeosang hums, quirking an eyebrow.

“yeah.”

both you and yeosang whip your heads to look at jongho as he squeezes next to you, shoving you slightly. he quickly introduces himself to yeosang.

“so you’re jongho!” yeosang says. “yn talks about you a lot.”

“oh really?” he looks at you, wiggling his eyebrows. you shove him away from you as he laughs, stumbling a step away before regaining his balance. “i’m honored, really. but yn is telling the truth, you know.”

yeosang blinks, waiting for jongho to continue.

“our families planned a trip to the coast,” jongho says, shrugging as he stuffs his hands into the pockets of his slacks. “we’re leaving tomorrow morning and won’t be back until the start of our second semester.”

“oh,” yeosang says. “i see… i hope you two have a fun trip then.”

“we will,” jongho grins, slowly closing the door on yeosang. “it was nice meeting you… yeosang, was it?”

“yeah… yeah. it was nice meeting you too, jongho.”

when jongho closes the door, he turns to you. “you like him, don’t you?”

you sigh. “i don’t know… i think i do, jjongs.”

no. you do know. you just don’t want to admit it because you know you’ll get your heart broken.

previous | masterlist | next

taglist (open): @kpopnightingale @seonghwaddict

network: @cromernet

BLURRED LINES AND LIES | yuyusuyu 2023

[darylspissslit]

Yay so I finished a fic that I kinda abandoned. I started it going in one direction and then switched like halfway through. There was also weeks in between writing because I started this in September. I did go back through a few times and change some stuff so hopefully that helped with the mess.

Also I try to keep y/n descriptions to a minimum so they can be inclusive to race and gender but this story is not. They are feminine, fat, and have short curly hair so I'm sorry for that. Its all easy to ignore though so hopefully everyone can still enjoy it ☺️

This is part of the Norman Whores Discord Prompt Challenge. Shout out to @theteasetwrites for making such a fun community 💖 Unfortunately this is a few months past due sorry.

September 2022 Prompt: “I don’t like them all looking at you.” “Remember, you’re the only one who can look at me all night long.”

Word Count- 2,033

A wedding in the middle of the apocalypse. Friends and family gathering, beautiful dresses, music, food, and even a wedding cake complete with bride and groom atop the smooth white icing. It was a beautiful site to see. Nothing you thought you would ever see again, everything seemed normal within the protective cold steel of the walls.

Maggie and Glenn were getting married. Sure they were already married back at the prison, but being in Alexandria gave them the opportunity to have a wedding. Was it impractical to have a wedding at the end of the world? Yes. Was it a poor use of people and resources to go out and raid bridal shops for dresses? Yes, yes it was. But it was okay because today Alexandria was going to be filled with smiles and love.

You looked in the mirror and smiled. Your hair was done properly for the first time since the apocalypse started. Your hair was short and curly only reaching the bottom of your ears so there wasn’t much you could do with it but you had the sides twisted and pinned back with sparkly hair pins leaving the rest of your hair down.

Smoothing your hands down your dress you smiled even wider. You were wearing a silky light green dress. It had thin straps and the chest was rather revealing. The dress stopping at the knees. The smooth tight fabric accentuated your stomach perfectly. What looked like a simple dress when lying on the bed, on you it looked like the gods took your body and dipped it in silk.

“Woah” you heard lowly behind you. Turning around you saw Rosita standing in the doorway. She was wearing a dark blue sparkly strapless dress down to her knees. “Woah yourself” you said back smiling. “We look hot” she said walking up to the mirror to check herself out. You let out a light giggle and nod “hell yeah we do” you said turning around to check yourself out too.

Your group gathered outside as everyone was getting ready. Michonne was adjusting Ricks tie while laughing at some story he told. Abraham and Sasha sat on the steps of the house talking about their last experiences at a wedding. You and Rosita sat on the porch swing talking about how excited y’all were to dance later.

You looked up as the front door opened, Daryl walking out onto the porch you smiled wide. A dark grey button up a nice contrast to his usual all black wardrobe, with black dress pants, with shiny black dress shoes to match. He looked over to you sitting on the porch swing. His eyes first meeting your face with a big lopsided grin. His eyes trailing from your face down your chest his smile gently fading and biting his lip as his eyes continued down to your thick thighs wrapped in the silky fabric of your dress, his eyes continuing down to your bare legs all the way to your crossed ankles and back up your body to meet your eyes.

You looked back over to Rosita and excused yourself. Standing up and walking over to Daryl you ran your hand down his arm “well don’t you look handsome” you said in sultry tone lacing your fingers together. He smiled and looked down trying to hide the blush quickly spreading, scuffing the toe of his shiny shoe on the porch.

“You look amazing” he replied kissing the back of your hand.

You walked down the steps with Daryl following the rest of the group to gather at the chairs neatly placed in rows lining a walkway to the gazebo. White lace ribbons and fake white and yellow flowers embellished the back and legs of the chairs. Leading up to the gazebo more flowers were scattered along the ground. The gazebo was decorated with white and yellow ribbon and flowers matching the chairs. Streamers with paper doves hung from the ceiling.

Before long family and friends sat chatting amongst themselves. Glenn, Maggie and the group stood under the gazebo. The group paired up and split on either sides of the bride and groom. Hand written vows were shared with a cheesy poem Glenn wrote for Maggie. Glancing over you even saw a tear roll down Daryl’s cheek. “You may now kiss the bride!” Gabriel exclaimed as Glenn and Maggie went in for a giggly kiss. Holding hands as they walked back down the isle. Hugging people along the way as people threw flower petals over them.

Music played through the house as people danced and talked. Plenty of homemade wine and moonshine passed around in place of champagne. Maggie and Glenn embraced as they danced. Maggie’s head resting on Glenn’s shoulder they swayed side to side. Michonne and Rick slow dancing behind them Michonnes bright smile never fading.

You left Daryl on the sofa to retrieve both of you a refill. Standing at the counter pouring some peach wine in the glasses you heard footsteps approach. “looking good” you heard sam the local douchebag behind you.

Choosing to ignore him you poured the second glass as he leaned on the counter next to you. “why isn’t your boyfriend getting your drink?” He asked in a smug tone.

You rolled your eyes and sighed “because I can do it myself” you replied.

“well you’d never have to lift a finger if you were with me” he said as he reached out to touch your arm.

You moved your arm away quickly and looked at him eyes narrow “well here’s one finger I wanna lift” you said as you raised your middle finger and picked up the glasses just as Daryl walked in.

“Everything alright?” Daryl asked walking over to you and wrapping his arm around your waist protectively as he eyed the guy. “yeah I was just about to bring you this” you replied handing him his drink. Sam rolled his eyes as he stormed out of the kitchen. You turned to Daryl and smiled “you alright?” he asked again looking at you. You nodded and smiled “he’s just being a dick again” you said nonchalant grabbing his hand and leading him back to the main room.

You stood with Daryl and a few people talking about how great the day turned out and sharing new decorating ideas for future celebrations. During the conversation Daryl’s arm slipped around your waist. You smiled and continued talking. After a few minutes you noticed Daryl had slowly inched his way behind you towering over you like a lighthouse on a cliff. You looked up at him and noticed he was staring over at a group of guys drinking across from you. You looked back at the person that was talking and continued the conversation. Daryl still standing behind you squeezing your side every once in a while. “Excuse us” he said in a gruff tone gently tugging your hand with him making your way through the house.

You grabbed his arm stopping him on the porch. “What’s wrong?” you asked looking up at him confused. “Nothin” he shrugged grabbing his smokes from his back pocket. You grabbed the matches from one hand while he put the cigarette to his lips. Striking the match and bringing it to his hand rolled cigarette he looked at the flame and then to your eyes as he lit the smoke. You blew the match out and tossed it on the sidewalk. Leaning against the railing of the porch you watched Daryl quietly smoke. “So you pulled us away from the party for a smoke break?” you asked crossing your arms. He gave a small shrug as he took a drag. Daryl took a few more puffs and shifted nervously “I don’t like them all looking at you” he spoke breaking the silence. You furrowed your brow and looked at him with a small frown “what do you mean?” you asked as you reached out to gently rest your hands on his arms. “Everyone. They all look at ya like you’re the most beautiful person in the room. And ya are” he said almost ashamed of being jealous.

He wanted to leave. He didn’t like the group of guys staring at you like you were the last drop of water in a drought. Daryl knew you were beautiful, probably the most beautiful person he’d ever seen. He was scared of losing you. It took an apocalypse killing off half the population just for him to find someone who cared about him and, it took most of the apocalypse for him to even make a move. So now that you were his he couldn’t lose you. He knew you loved him but, there was still that angry little demon scratching at his brain and tugging on his heart telling him he wasn’t good enough for you.

You smiled wide your cheeks feeling warm from being called beautiful by Daryl. Its not that he didn’t do it often because he did. Daryl called you beautiful every chance he could, you just never got used to it.

Cupping the sides of Daryl’s scruffy cheeks you leaned in kissing him passionately. You pulled back and looked him in the eyes “Daryl I love you. You’re my best friend and the best partner anyone can have. You don’t have anything to worry about. I promise.” You stroked his cheeks gently with your thumb and pecked his lips.

“They can look at me sometimes but remember, you’re the only one who can look at me all night long” you said with a cheeky grin as you shook your hips side to side trying your best to be cute and bring out a smile. Successfully Daryl smiled wide pulling you closer to him. “I love ya bunny” he said his accent sounding thick and he rested his forehead against yours.

You closed your eyes for a second enjoying the contact. “Well when you’re done we’re going back in. I haven’t gotten my slow dance yet.” You said lovingly

You grabbed his hand as he snubbed out his cigarette. Leading him back inside you found an open spot in the house to stand. Grabbing his arms and wrapping them around your waist you looked up at him and smiled as you then wrapped your arms around his neck. Swaying gently side to side you started to slow dance. Fade Into You playing on the boombox the lovely melody carrying through the house.

Looking up at Daryl you smiled noticing the nervous look on his face. “Is this alright?” you ask starting to second guess making him dance with you. Maybe he was ready to go home and you were keeping him up. He looked back down at you with a little nod. You smiled and continued to dance to the sappy love song playing.

You rested your head on his chest as you danced to the music. Closing your eyes you let the music and Daryls warmth take over relaxing your every muscle, you felt so in love. He was your safe place and you were his. Nothing around you mattered in the moment.

Daryl ran his hands slowly up and down your exposed back from the backless dress enjoying the feel of the soft skin against his work worn hands. He was at peace.

A few songs passed before you finally stopped. The party had died down and people were starting to head home. You guys started to clean up a little deciding it would be best to finish cleaning tomorrow.

“Ready to go home?” Daryl asked as you threw a few empty beer bottles into a recycling bag.

You looked at him and nodded as you walked over to him reaching your hand out for him to hold. “I only wanna go home with you” you said smiling as you loved your fingers together and headed for the door. Daryl pulled you closer kissing your temple he smiled. He was insecure but you were never gonna let him forget that you weren’t going anywhere.

[izzylovesmatt]

i hate you more 🥀

matt sturniolo

also if anyone as used the title i can change it and im not copying anyone im just bored

⚠️warnings⚠️ smut, 18+, pet names (baby,good girl,mommy etc), cussing, use of y/n, and so on

for context y/n is nathan's sister she's 22 years old she's also an actor and one of the triplets closest friends well besides matt, he always seemed to hate y/n for no reason, they used to be close but drifted.

hate

why do i hate him so much?i hate so much its like i don't hate him at all.

i wrote down in my journal today is the first day of september and i need to understand i need to know why we hate eachother or atleast why he hates me. my phone starts to ring "hello" i say answering the phone "heyy y/n are you doing anything tonight" my best friend nick says from the other line, "uhh no why do you ask"

"well only because the biggest party ever is tonight and i saw that you were invited it's a halloween party so bring a costume we're picking you up at 8 love you see you then"

"wait nic-" i say before he hangs up the phone. ughh i do not wanna go to this stupid party, i don't even have a costume

time skip

it's now 7:30 and i'm almost ready in my harley quinn outfit, with my low blonde pigtails with blue and pink ends, i have harley quinn's classic makeup, fishnets with a couple holes, really short shorts that compliment my ass, a shirt that says "daddy's little girl" on it that shows basically my whole tits and a leather jacket halfway off my shoulder. perfect my costume looks amazing.

i turn my vlog camera on "hey guys so i'm not gonna be videoing at this party but since it's jake johnnie and arrington party im sure you guys will see me on video somewhere tonight, anyways im about to leave and i will see you all in the morning" i say before shutting the camera off and fixing my lipstick.

i hear my phone start to ring

"helloooo"

"hey girl we're outside"

"okay coming" i say before hanging up the phone taking a quick fireball shot then rushing out of my house and into the triplets car.

"hii guys" i say sitting next to nick and buckling my seatbelt

"hey you look nice" chris says

"thank you, you don't look to bad yourself" i say back

"are you kidding me?" matt says

"um what" i say confused realizing that matt had dressed up as the joker

"heh that's awkward" nick says while chris snickers with him

"i'm going home and changing" matt says

"oh don't be so dramatic matt lets go we're gonna be late" nick says hitting his shoulder

i roll my eyes and we drive to jake johnnie and carriontons house, when we show up the person to greet us is carrington, me and carriongton were in a movie together so that's how i know him and i've know jake and johnnie for like 1-2 years.

"heyy y/n you look so hot" carrington says already drunk

"hi carrington" i say laughing while hugging him back, i notice matt staring at the fact carringtons hands are low on my back. we walk into the party and i greet tara who is in her jennifer's body costume

"hey girl you look so good" i say hugging her

"heyyy"

"im gonna get a drink it was nice seeing you" i say walking over to the drinks seeing matt and he's already on his second one

"woah slow down there mr driver" i say pouring my self a solo cup with half the cup with vodka and the other half a coke

"shut up" matt says taking another sip of his drink already pouring himself a third

"matt seriously chill your third already slow down" i say taking a sip of my drink

"make me" he says obviously already getting tipsy

i roll my eyes and take another sip of my drink giving turning around giving matt a whole veiw of my ass, i can feel his eyes on me, suddenly a strong arm grabs me

"come back here y/n" matt says pulling me close to him taking a shot then a sip of his drink and pouring himself another one

"matt we have been here half an house and your already drunk" i say taking a shot then refilling my cup starting to feel the alcohol

"shhh just listen to the music" he says

"what are you- are you crazy matthew?"

"say my name again"

"you have lost your head"

"your so beautiful did i ever tell you that" he says cupping my face and staring into my eyes

"matt you should probably shut your mouth before you say something you don't wanna"

"but i do wanna say it"

"matt-"

"your so so sexy and funny. but i still hate you"

"i hate you more"

matt suddenly finishes whatever drink number he's on and wraps his hand around my waist exept his hands are literally on my ass

"such a perfect ass yeah?"

"feeling not so shy today huh?"

"i'm glad we're matching"

"yeah?"

"EVERYONE LETS PLAY TRUTH OR DARE SPICYYYY" larray says hinting for our big group to sit down and play

at one big table there was jake johnnie carrington matt chris tara nick larray y/n sam colby and few other people

"okay bitches i'll go first... y/n truth or dare"

"dare."

"okayyyu i dare you to sit on the person who is the most attractive's lap for the rest of the game"

"okay fine" i say getting up and walking over to matt and sitting on his lap, as i sit down matt puts his arms around my waist and holds me

"clostest i've ever seen them were their not fighting" chris says laughing

"shut up chris"

"okay but it was kinda obvious matt wanted y/n" nick says whisper to chris

"bros whipped" he says whispering back, him and nick exchange chuckles while it's matt's turn to get asked

"matthew sturniolo truth. or dare." chris says

"dare"

"i dare you to do a body shot with the person who has the matching harley to your joker" he says smirking. matt looks at me for an okay sign, i look at him like i was begging him to do it. i lay on the table and he does the body shot keeping eye contact the whole time he did it

"okay like get a room" nick says making everyone laugh

after matt had got the line out of my mouth i pulled my shirt back down and sat back onto his lap

"i would pay you to do that 100 times" he says in my ear

i can't help but smile, a little after the game ended matt at still not gotten up not letting me up aswell.

as i try and get up he pushes me down back onto his lap this time i feel something hard under me his dick

"matt-"

"stop you can't get up"

"too bad im thirsty" i say as i get up off of him and walk over taking a shot then getting another drink.

suddenly i feel a pair of hands on my waist

"i need you so bad pretty girl"

i hear matts voice low and seductive in my ear

"i have to host this game in like 15 minutes i cant matt not now"

"no you have to just give me ten minutes"

i put my drink on the counter infront of me and turn around now facing matt putting my hands around his neck as i kiss him, he kisses me back right away hungirly like he hasnt had any physical touch ever in his life.

"so so so needy" i say as i pull away from the kiss and take his hand and lead him to the closet and lock the door

"not here w-what if we get caught"

"you wanted it so bad now take your pants off"

"b-but-"

"off." i say as he slowly unbuckles his belt and pulls his pants down revealing the hard bulge in his boxers, i slowly get down onto my knees and palm him through his pants

"f-fuck stop teasing please Y/N i need this"

"be patient" i say slowly pulling his boxers down as his dick springs up and hits his stomach precum already leaking

i slowly wrap my hand around the base of his dick flicking my thumb over his tip

"fuckk mmph please m-more"

"shhh cant be too loud dont want anybody hearing now do we?"

"n-no dont want that mo-baby"

"you can say it matty" i say seeing matts embarrassed expression and rosy cheeks

"thank you mommy"

i spit on his dick then slowly stroke his swollen hard dick

"mmph more mmh please"

i pick up the pace go faster and faster each second

"fuck fuck mmph so so close"

i slowly start to stop going slower and slower each second, matt was so close one more stroke and hes done all his orgasm falling away causing him to physically groan

"no no why did you stop mommy i promise ill be quiet"

i kiss his tip causing him to whimper my name once again, i start stroking him again so fast not even matt can comprehend the pace

"nnngh so so close please"

i slow down again and flick my thumb over his tip every time i reached it, not going fast whatso ever

"fuck fuck please"

i flick my thumb over his tip one last time then i start going faster then slower then faster again

"fuckk dont stop"

"Open your mouth"

i open my mouth listening to his commands, as i do he almost immediately cums into my mouth, i feel his warm seed falling down my throat like water. i swallow everything there still being some on my chin.

"fuckkkkkk" he whimpers as im still stroking him

'nghhh mommmy im sensitive"

"sorry sweet boy" i say kissing his tip hearing him groan at the kiss and the loss of contact

"looks like its time to get back to the party, lets pull these up yeah?"

"i still hate you, halfway, maybe, maybe not" matt says as i pull up his pants

" i hate you more baby" i say kissing him but he pulls away not kissing back

"ew ew no im not tasting myself"

i laugh at his words then sneak out of the closet hoping nobody saw us, matt following behind me.

NICK

ew girl my brother

uhhh

yeah bitch i saw yall sneaking around

lets pretend we didnt see that

never looking at you the same

read today at 1:05

i got lazy at the end ts was supossed to have plot very sorry its also been sitting in the drafts for ever

[fairestar]

✿ trying to get into the void ;

i will be trying to get to the void via meditation before going to sleep. here, i will update night to night to keep track of events!

— night O1 (august 23rd, 2023)

intro; will try just laying down on my back, relaxing and counting from one until whichever number until i feel it. when i enter it, i will either affirm or visualize.

outro; i counted from one to 222, stopped there because i wasn't getting any more relaxed and changed to affirming “i am pure awareness”. at one point i did feel very close but got distracted. kept going and got startled by a notification, lost the calm state i had achieved, so i decided to change position and start over, but i ultimately fell asleep. it was the best night's sleep ive had in a long time, though, i even woke up early and felt energised.

— night O2 (august 24th, 2023)

intro; once again, i will lay down on my back, concentrate on my breathing and hypnogogic hallucinations, then affirm “i am pure awareness” or simply “I AM” until i get to the void.

outro; spent ~forty minutes relaxing, when i felt like i was floating i changed to affirming. there were moments where i felt like i was very close, but i kept getting distracted because of that same thing, realising “woah, i'm very close” distracted me and i could feel it slipping away. my legs started to feel uncomfortable and i couldn't stand it anymore, so i changed position and when i tried to start over, i just fell asleep.

— night O3 (august 25th, 2023)

intro; kind of the same as the last two days, i will lay down on my back, relax until i feel floaty, affirm “i am in the void state”.

outro; tried a little earlier tonight. i felt relaxed but, once again, my legs started bothering me so i pulled out of that meditative state to position differently. i didn't feel close tonight, i fell asleep quite a lot during it. i ultimately tried the lullaby method, but it didn't work :(

♡ some notes ;

i think what's making me fail is my limiting beliefs, i really want to live in the end and feel the wish fulfilled but rationality and old habits always get the best of me. i will try to do some research regarding these topics and get better at this!

— night O4 (august 26th, 2023)

intro; well, tonight i will try SATS instead of getting into the void (maybe i should make a different post but let's just leave it here for now). i will relax until im drowsy, using waves for assistance, and visualise waking up to my desired life, trying to make it as vivid (as in: sensory-vivid) and have it on loop until i accept its realness. i will really try to put my all into it, not letting limiting beliefs drive me away from the life i deserve.

outro; completely fell asleep while trying it, didn't get to visualise anything. ive noticed i find it hard to actually relax and keep my mind from wandering.

— night O5 (september O3rd, 2023)

intro; i will try the 61 points meditation, i saw people say they got really good results with it so i want to try it. after finishing it and being relaxed, i will just affirm “I AM”.

outro; i did the meditation six times. yes, six. the first one was the best one, i felt very relaxed after it and was already affirming when i felt a mosquito on my eyelid and it was driving me crazy so i brushed it away and did it again. and i kept getting distracted, my right ankle started hurting badly because of the rain, it made my leg twitchy and it was annoying me, i felt too hot so i took some covers off my bedding, changed into a pair of shorts... so because all of that, i ended up doing it six times. it was very useful, though. as soon as i was finished with a body part it instantly felt heavy and i even felt myself drifting off to sleep sometimes. but i didn't manage to get into the void.

— night O6 (september O4th, 2023)

intro; tonight i will try another meditation i saw get recommended. after i achieve "mind awake, body asleep," i will affirm for the void.

outro; i did it once, if im not mistaken. my body was tingling all over and felt heavy afterwards. i started affirming and focusing on the black behind my eyes, but i fear my mind was too awake and i couldn't really focus. i tried for about 20 minutes and gave up (im not the most patient person, something to change). also, i had a very bad headache too and started to feel nauseous because of it. i decided to take a painkiller, eat something and watch some calm youtube videos until i felt sleepy enough to try SATS. i told my subconscious i was going to enter the void tonight and started daydreaming until i felt drowsy. i dont remember if i got to affirm before falling asleep. but yet again, i didn't make it. but i know im close, afterall, the void is nothing but me in my pure form, so why should it be difficult to achieve?

♡ some more notes: i've been doing some research on different ways to enter the void state and trying to find the one that resonates the most with me. i think that entering either through SATS or meditation is the way to go for me (kind of what i've been doing, really), so this post will most likely concentrate on those two methods.

— night O7 (september O5th, 2023)

intro; so, tonight i will try to enter through SATS. after watching this video, i decided to start by revising my day until i feel drowsy enough to start affirming “i am”.

outro; it went surprisingly well! since my sleep schedule is messed up, i watched some youtube videos until i feel like i could fall asleep in a bit. i got comfortable, started revising my day via visualising and at one point i caught myself almost falling asleep so i switched to affirming and focusing on the black behind my eyes. i spent some time doing that and tried to ignore symptoms and the 3D as much as i could, i felt very close but every time i “meditate” i start feeling uncomfortably hot and this time i could even feel sweat trickling down my back, and i just couldn't stand it so i pulled out of the calm state i had achieved and, if im not mistaken, i tried again but had lost all my focus and eventually fell asleep. but i take this night as great progress! i feel so happy.

— night O8 (september 11th, 2023)

intro; i saw this meditation get recommended so i will try it tonight. i may affirm after relaxing or maybe i will just focus on my breathing.

outro; the meditation worked really well, i did it twice because as has happened before, i felt too hot and my right leg started to annoy me. but the first try was the best one, i think i tapped once but i wasn't aware, although im not sure if it was the void or if i just fell asleep for a few seconds. the second time wasn't as fruitful but that's only because ive conditioned myself to believe that if it's not that night's first time then it won't work as well.

— night O9 (september 12th, 2023)

intro; tonight i will try to enter through lucid dreaming. i used to be able to effortlessly manifest lucid dreams a few years ago, so i know that if i get one i will absolutely be able to get to the void. i used to do it by saying an affirmation before going to sleep, but tonight i will add a subliminal for good measure. i might also try FILD too.

outro; i couldn't, for the life of me, fall asleep until 8am. i listened to the subliminal but i didn't get a lucid dream. i woke up at around 12 and remembered to do FILD but i kept getting distracted, i was too awake.

— night 1O (september 14th, 2023)

intro; i will try the fourth method mentioned on this post (counting and becoming aware after 5 numbers pass by, but i did it after 10). i actually did it yesterday for the first time and it really helped in getting me sleepy, so i want to try it again but with a well-set intention for lucid dreaming.

outro; something weird happened. i didn't lucid dream but at one point while i was asleep i suddenly felt like i was in a weird environment, completely out of nowhere. i thought, oh my god im in the void (as if id woken up in it) and started affirming, then said i was leaving and i wanted to continue sleeping, so i felt my body fall to my mattress as if someone had been holding me a little above it, i remember feeling some parts of my body get really heavy and a few seconds later i fell asleep. when i woke up i realised it wasn't the void because wherever i felt i was was overwhelmingly hot. but it was a really weird experience.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ© fairestar, 2023.

[t00nyah]

my fan splatband that exists since september but i wanted to make a cool post where i explain each character and i never got to that

The Celestigals!

their music is literally just. songs about how shitty love and relationships are. and if you want a reference to what they would sound like... you could listen to deceptacon - le tigre but its UHHH got some pretty nsfw lyrics- but i can't think of anything else as an example.

sepia kettlefish is a cuttlefish who doesn't like being confused with inklings JUST for sake of being petty. she has the worst kind of personality EVER. she has a roommate(namihiko) who's her EX and life with her is UNBEARABLE. she be like 'SHUT THE FUCK UP.' (he was quiet) she be like 'COULD YOU JUST STOP DOING THAT' (he was literally doing nothing) she's like. 'HOW DO I EVEN SHARE THIS FLAT WITH YOU I'M GOING TO KICK YOU OUT.' it's his fucking flat. yeah... yeah. but he's pretty cool with that somehow. my girl just has anger issues ig. and he's very acceptive and chill.

she's the singer of their band and is kind of their leader.

morning with sepia and namihiko

also they have a slug pet who's name is lemon.

transcription: Sepia: wake up lazy bitch now we take care of this thing it's name is Lemon and if anything happens it's your fault. Nami: h..huh?..

elysia... imma be real with you. none of them are really that characterized as sepia is. she's a sea slug, elysia crispata, and she's a sweetheart. that's kind of all. though she already appeared on my blog before... kind of. (look at the last pic, she's the one playing ttb with neo!)

transcription: Elysia: hey, Sepia... I had a thought for a while... what if... we sang a positive love song? Sepia: ... Sepia: fine, but you write it. Elysia: WOAH REALLY?!

shinobu, ori and gui have no other arts(other than concepts), but shinobu is an anemone, gui is an incognito goby and ori is...a crab. a tiger crab? i can't remember the name, shame for me. shinobu is the smallest thing, she's just. so small that her clothes don't fit her!! she's like. smaller that annie. i think. also her hobbie is taking octarian tech apart. just a little hobby nothing that important.

if you're confused about their roles in their band imagine how confused i am and i'm their creator. i THINK ori should play drums.

[allthemusic]

Week ending: 20th September

Well, only a few months after our first double A-sides, we've got a whole week of them! Clearly the format is taking off. Interestingly, this means it's also the longest entry we've had in quite a while, with six new songs to listen to and review (some of which I'm provisionally a lot more excited about than others...)

The Great Pretender - The Platters (double A-side, peaked at Number 5)

Well, this is the version of this song that I knew, after Jimmy Parkinson's cover version, which hit the charts, a few months back. And I have to say, I think that this is one where the original blows the cover out of the water. The Platters are just a cut above Jimmy Parkinson - there's a reason they're still a reasonably well-known act, while Jimmy's not a name that I'd ever heard of before.

I love the emotion that's been poured into this, from the emphatic acknowledgement of the yes, at the start of the title line, to the slight hitch as Tony Williams sings about how You've left me to dream all alone. I can really buy this as a song about a man putting on a front, and pretending - to himself or to others - that he's fine and still happy after his love left him.

In this context, I really appreciate the doo-wop instrumentation, too, from the woozy saxophone and piano at the start, to the oooh-oooh backing singers, and the way they chime in with a full-voiced still around right at the end. It gives the whole thing a sense of texture and intensity that Jimmy's solo version lacked. He may have had backing singers, but the Platters go beyond that and are really part of the whole song.

The song's iconic, and with its other A-side, it apparently also featured in the film Rock Around the Clock, along with Bill Haley's title song and a bunch of other Bill Haley numbers. The film itself is apparently a heavily fictionalised film about the emergence of rock and roll, with the Comets portrayed as the kind of ground-breaking first ever rock and roll band. Which absolutely was not true, but it's cool that the film exists, still, with a bunch of real-life music industry figures playing versions of themselves. Very meta. Also, apparently the Platters are shown at the end of the film sharing a stage with the Comets and other white groups, which was seen at the time as quite daring, integration-wise. So not entirely a white-wash, I guess?

Only You (And You Alone) - The Platters (double A-side, 5)

Yet another song that we've already heard as a cover. This time it was the Hilltoppers, another white group - and again, the Platters' version is more emotional, with little vocal turns and twists from lead singers Tony Williams that elevate it, somehow. The little uh-uh hiccups, and the sweeps upwards on the higher notes, or the you-ouuuuuuu at the end - all of these go a long way to make this specific version way more iconic.

Amazingly, apparently the little lurch on the first "Oooh-nly" was inspired by a rehearsal session in a car (?) where the car hit a bump and jerked. Tony's voice did the little hiccup, everyone laughed, but then they decided that it actually worked. And thank goodness they did, because it's awesome.

Aside from this, there are also lots of nice doo-wop touches, too, from the piano's insistent triplets, which mostly simmer along underneath the vocals, driving the tune on, barring the odd oh-woah-woah-woah moment, to the oooooh vocals, and the way they ramp up towards the end of the song, concluding with a final, elegiac one and only you. All fun details that also serve to make the song that bit more memorable.

Lyrically, the concept is as simple as it was the first time we heard it; Tony's convinced that Only you / Can make this world seem right / Only you / Can make the darkness bright. Tony's love is the only one who can do this, transforming first Tony's world, and then Tony himself. It's a song about the transformative, world-changing power of love, and damn, if I'm not a sucker for it. It's romantic, it doesn't rely on tired metaphors and overblown rhetoric, but it also isn't underselling anything. It's a song that's not afraid of being earnest, but never strays into overdoing it. Excellent stuff.

The Ying Tong Song - The Goons (double A-side, 3)

I don't have a great feeling about this. I didn't like the Goons' last outing much at all, and this song's title also smacks of racism. I mean, it might not be, but it king of looks like the kind of thing people make up as "fake Chinese". But I'm willing to be proven wrong, as I start it up?

Okay, we've started in a very operatic mode, with what sounds like a flute, a harp and a man singing about how There's a song that I recall my mother sang to me / She sang it as she tucked me in when I was ninety-three. Which is already kind of nonsensical, setting the tone we're going to follow for the rest of this tune.

And then, the song suddenly shifts mode, with a guitar strumming and then two very irritating voices singing the repeated lyric Ying tong, ying tong, ying tong, ying tong, ying tong iddle i po. It does vaguely give off a "racist fake Chinese accent" vibe, but having heard other Goons songs, I suspect this is more just the "stock irritating Goon voice" that we also heard elsewhere, complete with various spoken digressions as the two voices stumble over each other and trip on what they're trying to sing. It's really annoying, and not in a way that makes me want to listen to this track, sorry Goons.

They're then repeatedly interrupted for the second half of the song, first by a clip of a female opera singer singing Take me back to Vienna, then by a clip of what sounds like a bomb blast, and finally by sections with one of our Goons just blowing raspberries and sections just consisting of what sounds like lots of feet walking round a gymnasium or something falling from a great height? The "joke" I'm assuming is that the song's annoying enough that people keep interrupting it, but it just keeps going. Except that's not massively funny - or maybe I've just had a bit of a sense of humour failure?

The best bit, for my money, is the very end, where the voices are replaced by a pitched-up version that sound like little gremlins or mice on helium. This, to me, feels like the voice that the whole thing should have been done in, giving it a comedy cartoon feel, rather than just sounding like two grown men putting on irritating voices. I think it helps that they give up on the shtick of interrupting them every three seconds, too - just let your song be a song!

There is theoretically something fairly avant-garde about the use of sound collage and sampled clips here. Too bad it's wasted in this borderline unlistenable song. Seriously, how did this get as far as it did?

Bloodnok's Rock 'N' Roll Call - The Goons (double A-side, 3)

Oh, joy, more Goons. Yay. I guess this song has a banger title on its side. It sounds like a DnD orc decided to start playing boogie-woogie music!

And as the song starts, that's what we seem to have, a sort of stompy rock and roll number that's clearly parodying tunes like Rock Around the Clock, with their 12-bar blues structure and counting shtick. There's also maybe an element of songs like Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy, with their military trappings, too? We start with a bugle call, for sure, and then a load of counting, before a voice informs us that You've got to rock and roll in a roll call way / You've got to march with a Marilyn Monroe-ese way / You've got to rock and roll with your old kit bag / But you mustn't ever mention her name in the mess.

It's incoherent nonsense, but I'm hopeful at this point that it's going to be an actually good record - a tune, some speed, a relevant bit of parody, and no irritating spoken sections! But no, I spoke too soon, because a reedy sort of voice is now interrupting to insist that we Stop! Stop! Stop that sinful naughty record-type music!

Thankfully, he doesn't quite manage to put a kibosh on it, but the rest of the song does stop and start a bit more, with more spoken segments. True to Goon form, these are without exception bizarre, annoying and not particularly funny. There's a skit going on about some old flame visiting the military mess, and possibly some jokes about rock and rollers being a bunch of skint musicians who need money? I say possibly, because you can't really follow it - if there's humour there, it needs some serious excavating. There's also the phrase "steaming love-dance", which I think puts an end to any amusement I felt, by dint of literally making me feel nauseous. Bleurgh.

Bring a Little Water, Sylvie - Lonnie Donegan (double A-side, 7)

This tune benefits largely, in this listen-through, from not being a Goons track. Seriously, there's not much to this, but after the two tracks of Goon-branded torment, Lonnie's folksy stylings were about as refreshing as the water Sylvie's supposed to be bringing in this song! A much needed break.

As often is the case with Lonnie, this whole song is a very American-sounding affair, sung in a sort of mock deep South accent. I'm not well enough versed in mid-20th century American accents, or their connotations, but I suspect this is Lonnie putting on a deliberately exaggerated "black" singing voice. Which is interesting to see in this era of segregation, and especially interesting in a week where you've also got the Platters charting with two songs that sound absolutely nothing like this.

Not that that's exactly a fair comparison, since Lonnie's not going for soul or even R&B, really - this is clearly a folk song, with folksy interests that are clear even in the spoken intro, as Lonnie tells us that here's a story 'bout a man workin' in a field / He bin workin' all day, he gettin' hot, an' he's thoisty. The scene thus set, we get to the point of the song, which is Lonnie entreating Sylvie to bring a little water.

Except - shh - I'm not sure the song's really about bringing water? I don't know, there's just something a little flirty about it all, with the do you love me, Sylvie, every little once in a while of it all. And what else should I make of the won't you prove it to me now line? He wants something more than water, I suspect - or at least, the possibility's meant to be there. It's an interpretation that fits well with Lonnie's desperate, frenetic delivery, and the slight rasp to this voice here, all of which give the whole song a sort of roguish charm.

Beyond this speculation, there's not much to this track. Lonnie's not doing anything wild with the guitar accompaniment here, and the bring a little water line makes up, like, 80% of the song. It's not trying for anything too wild, you get the feeling - Lonnie's just vibing, and the public are eating it up, nothing fancy needed.

Dead or Alive - Lonnie Donegan (double A-side, 7)

An exciting title, for sure, and the twangy guitar line at the start is already miles more interesting than anything in the last track, with the way it jumps about all over the place, blues notes and accidentals jumbling together in a way that's technically pretty impressive, in a slightly random-sounding way.

And then the song gets started in earnest, with lines about how the new sheriff sent me a letter / He said "Come up and see me, dead or alive" and about how he even sent me my picture. Reading between the lines, this is clearly a song about a man with a wanted poster out for him, but Lonnie sound blithely unconcerned by the whole affair - heck, he sounds like he's holding back laughter on quite a few of the lines, which is such an excellent character detail. With it, Lonnie fully takes on the character of a devil-may-care, loveable but slightly smug Wild West rogue.

And as ever, this all ends with Lonnie picking out a line or two to repeat ad infinitum, until the phrase loses all meaning. In this case, it's a line about how It's a hard road, dead or alive. Which is as good a line as any to repeat, I guess?

And weirdly, after all this, the track ends fading out on some very cool guitar that's been bubbling along throughout the song, but that really comes to the fore right in the final second or two, and that really reminds me of something that I can't quite place. It kind of feels like the sort of chords and rhythms that people put into fake "Egyptian" music - but I couldn't say exactly why it feels like that, or give an example of what I mean, so maybe this is me talking nonsense. And it's literally just the last few seconds. Odd.

Whew. That felt like a lot of songs! Quite a mixed bag, too - some predictable bangers, but some I rightfully went in dreading. Also some Lonnie Donegan numbers, which were soldly in-between both poles, neither great nor terrible. Which leaves me two Platters songs to decide between - but the interesting vocal delivery just about cinches it, for me!

Favourite song of the bunch: Only You (And You Alone)

[tasteslikenostalgiaa]

TAN!!!!!

THAT FIRST PICTURE OF SCOUPS OH MY GOD 😭😭 you're so sweet. I love that picture, I saw that and was smiling so big oh god.

oh my god, 5th Aug' sksksk mine is on 17th Sep' and 13th Aug' is my bestfriend's bday.

And similarities? oh god, there's a lot. I'm clingy and touchy (more like touchy like cheol? idk how to describe that xD), my love language is physical touch (hugs and cuddles) we both are very sulky and pouty, sometimes I feel I am getting more sulky now a day because of him. I do behave like him when I'm around my jeonghan (my best friend and another one is my ex-roommate back in college) and that ONE habit of cheol sneaking his hands to Jeonghan's waist, yes I do that to my best friend, and ofc not to mention the peak PDA of Jeongcheol, we do as well sjsjjsjsj and babying others and spoiling others comes first always I guess and yes the normal leo things we share. I guess that's a lot already 😭😭🚶🏻‍♀️ and we can definitely form a gang yk 🤣❣️

and leadership skills! woah, that's amazing.

and reborn rich? I'm planning to watch that, let me know how is it!! would like to know your reviews till now.

It's not that cold here yet, but gets colder after 25th. And I am waiting for it to get colder!!

I would love to help, but I haven't tried Wonwoo yet! I want to write something about Wonwoo, because my works is mostly about Seungcheol <3

and the GIFT OH GOD, THANKYOU???!!! like i was screaming and going soft after each picture! I miss him so much, oh god. it made my night, thank you so much Tan!! hope you had a nice day today~

so here today's question: what's your favorite trope or aus?

-Anon 💌

Oh my god thats so wonderful. I'm gonna mark it, 17th September. Oh my god, you got 17! Seventeen!

Awww its so cuteee! I'm sure you're just as amazing as cheol! ❤️❤️❤️❤️✨

I really wanna read your works. I should look into blogs with Seungcheol content. Reborn rich is amazing 🔥 🔥 🔥 ✨ ❤️

Hehe, it was gift for me too.

My favourite trope, I actually really love reading and my favourite entertainment reading is romcom, so my favourite trope would be slow burn friends to lovers.

What's your favorite?

[tamhonksss]

Okay wow, I haven’t posted here in months cause it never really crossed my mind until now. (also because I started posting infrequently on here).

I got a few anons asking me where tf I am and I’m here, but not for long. I’m probably not going to post on this blog or on Tumblr anymore. I kind of lost motivation to and I’ve been pretty busy lately. And obsessively keeping tabs on the current political climate, that I don’t feel like doing anymore. Life has been treating me good and this year has been just as great as last’s (so far) so nothing scary is happening.

So this is a real goodbye to anyone who’s still active on my blog. Thanks for keeping up with my posts/rants/me being a crackhead/everything that goes on here since the beginning or whenever you felt like following me.

If I ever feel like coming back here and my acc isn’t completely dead by then I’ll let you guys know on here.

Until then;

[just-call-me-the-intrusive-thot]

Soulmate September - Day 9

Day 9 - When you write something on your own skin it appears on your soulmate’s skin as well. (Pirates and Sirens AU)

Pairing(s): Romantic Dukeceit, Background Romantic Prinxiety

TWs: Swearing, murder mention, Remus being Remus, semi-detailed leg  and fin injury

–

Those who ran afoul of The Witch’s Serpent rarely lived to tell the tale. Many a foolish young sea-farer - far too inexperienced and overly cocky - had met their end at the hands of the galleon’s captain long before they could even hope to make their mark on the open seas. 

Captain Remus Gaspar was an impulsive, enigma of a man; capable of great feats of bravery and reckless daring do, alongside acts of cold blooded murder and remorseless torture inflicted upon those who crossed him. The sea choked on the bodies of his victims while he and his crew sipped the finest stolen wines with nary a hiccup. The naval officers of the mainland cowered in fear while Remus decimated their trade routes and sent their men to the depths to keep the fish company. In fact, only one man had faced the Captain and lived to see another day, but kept coming back for more. 

Commodore Logan Callows.

Remus would have admired him - in all senses - if not for his fanatic loyalty to the crown and it’s laws. Make no mistake, Remus very much wanted Logan’s head for a bow ornament with every fibre of his mortal being, but outside factors forbade Remus from fatally wounding the man. Namely, Logan’s first mate and closest friend was his brother-in-law, Virgil Giordano. Why did Roman’s soulmate have to be a man who could rival any opponent in a knife fight, despite being the sort to panic over the smallest change in weather conditions? Remus had no goddamn idea what fate was playing at, but he knew for certain that killing Logan would result in having to run from Virgil’s swift and immediate crusade for revenge. And if there’s one thing Remus Gaspar refused to do, it wold be spending his life in hiding.

Remus loved his brother dearly but all the familial loyalty in the world wouldn’t save him from Virgil’s wrath. He’d learned that much from his last encounter with Logan’s ship, The Inquisitor. Too many cocky remarks and attempts to stall while his men pillaged the lower decks of the ship in secret had earned him a close encounter with the business end of Virgil’s dagger. Naturally, the Captain had made things worse by uttering a rather salacious remark for which he was gifted a shiny new slash mark along his cheek.

“As a warning.”, his brother in law had hissed.

When forced to retreat, Remus had lamented the size of their haul at first. Not nearly enough sugar and spices as they’d been hoping for, but a small crate of flintlock pistols ripe for sale more than made up for the loss once they’d been discovered among the spoils. 

Thus we come to the present moment; Captain Remus, sat upon the docks with a bottle of expensive rum, staring out into the ocean blue. His men had been more than happy to give the Captain his space while they spent their time merrily drinking in the local tavern. Once he was sure he was alone, Remus removed his black leather bracer and rolled his white sleeve to stare at the message written upon it. The Captain had seen many an alphabet in his day - either scrawled upon the foreign exports stolen from trading vessels, or within his memories of home, being tutored alongside his twin as children - but Remus had never laid eyes upon the letters that adorned his skin in a shimmering golden cursive.

Naturally, ever since he’d first been written to, Remus had made an effort to search for the script, but the only ‘lead’ he had been given was an old woman selling wares a couple of ports prior who had raved on and on, claiming it to be the language of the sirens. He’d scoffed at the idea and decided it likely wasn’t worth trying to work out in the first place.

Remus had never been one to buy into this whole soulmates arrangement. Even the day Roman had shown him the violet cursive that had appeared like magic, Remus had rolled his eyes and sworn off taking such a thing seriously. After all, acknowledging that kind of thing brought about some rather unpleasant thoughts he would rather not think about. The fierce Captain liked to play remorseless, but in truth, Remus simply knew that life at sea demanded blood, and it was up to him whether it’d be the blood of his enemies, or his crew and himself. But that didn't stop his mind wandering into territories he wished it would stay out of.  How many men lay on the sandy shores of the depths with messages from soulmates unaware of their beloved’s fate? Did severing the connection hurt? Would fate allow those whom he’d unknowingly widowed to love again? Or had he doomed them to a life alone with no one to share such a connection with ever again?

… More rum would be needed it seemed. 

A clattering from the nearby rock shoal drew Remus out from his own mind with a couple of curses leaving the Captain as he knocked over the rum bottle and watched a good portion of it pour away before he could right it again. 

“Son of a bitch!”, he hissed, corking it and casting a glare towards the rockpool where the clattering had come from. Whoever had just cost him a good amount of rum was in for the brawl of their life. Remus threw on his coat and cursed his inebriated steps over the craggy rock face, swearing once again as he nearly rolled his ankle when his boot sunk into an unseen rockpool. He wrenched his leg free and crested the large flat rock in his way. 

The second his eyes could focus, Remus made a mental note to find that old woman on their round trip and apologise. 

Sprawled on it’s side nestled in the sand was an honest to god siren. The Captain was mesmerised by the creature; it’s long golden hair flowed over it’s scaled shoulders and torso, complimented by it’s black and yellow streaked fin-like ears that fluttered angrily each time it hissed. It wasn’t hard to work out why it was so angry. The creature’s left leg fin had been hooked in a rather nasty mess of fishing line and barbed hooks. The Captain had seen the technique used before to ensure a plentiful haul, who knew it could catch such a creature of legend so easily?

Perhaps Remus was succumbing to the creature’s charms, or maybe he was just too drunk already to think things through, but he found himself whistling to the creature to catch it’s attention. The way the creature’s panicked, beautiful eyes met his own momentarily knocked the wind from his chest as he wheezed out, “Need help?”

 It let out a strangled sound and scrambled backwards, only to let out a cry of pain as it’s injured leg dragged along the sand. The Captain dropped down from his rock perch and made his way over,

“Woah there! Unless you want that fin ripped out you should lemme unhook you-”

Despite the excruciating pain it must’ve been in, it still managed to hiss dangerously at Remus in a voice that felt like a million tiny hands groping around in his brain with every syllable,

“Stay back!”

Remus’ halted momentarily, the voice in his head warning him, “Come any closer and I won’t hesitate to eat you alive!”

In spite of any semblance of common sense, Remus impulsively shot a cocky grin the creature’s way, “Kinky!”

The siren wasn’t amused. 

It lunged forward to swipe at Remus, but the Captain caught it’s arm, making sure his grasp wasn’t painful, but firm.

“Watch it, you’re gonna take someone’s eye out! Or maybe these beauties will just gouge a couple chunks outta my face-” 

Remus’ rambling was cut short as he saw the siren’s expression shift from a ferocious snarl to one of immediate fear.

“Please don’t kill me-”, it murmured quietly, slapping it’s free hand over its mouth. It tried to change back to a more aggressive persona but Remus refused to be intimidated,

“The last thing I wanna do is hurt you. Now are you gonna be a good lil fishy and let me unhook you?” 

The siren scanned his face with those enchanting eyes once again, scrutinising every inch of Remus before it huffed and turned away from his gaze. The Captain took it as a sign of an indignant ‘do whatever you want’ and sat on the sand next to the siren, already beginning to carefully remove the hooks as best he could. Each wince the creature gave was met with an apology until Remus got the hang of it. 

“.....What’s your name?”, Remus mused to the surprised siren, “Might as well get to know each other, right?”

The creature mumbled something Remus couldn’t understand under it’s breath but relented reluctantly, “My name is Janus. At least, that's how you humans would pronounce it.” 

“It’s a beautiful name. Mine’s Remus.”, the Captain mumbled, too hyper focused on removing the hooks to see the way Janus’ cheeks flushed a dark ochre colour. Once the last hook had come loose, both of them let out a shared sigh of relief; Remus admired his job well done but grew concerned as Janus went to stand up. “Hey, you’re going to hurt yourself doing that.”, he warned, to which Janus scoffed, attempting to hide his emotions once more.

“I’ll be fine, Remus, I’ll heal quickly-”

“The salt water’s gonna sting like a bitch.”, Remus cut in.

Noting the wince Janus gave in response, he continued, “At least let me take you to my ship so I can bandage you up proper-“ 

“No!”, Janus declined fiercely, though he softened right after, letting Remus know it was likely a reflexive reaction, “I apologise. I… I’m rather wary of that kind of thing. Please understand.”

Remus sighed and stood up, taking off his coat to place it around Janus’ shoulders. The siren stiffened, though curiosity got the better of him and he softly touched the warm material. Janus inhaled and immediately was hit with the smell of the garment; a mix of body odour, dried blood, sea salt, and countless food-like smells. Not to mention the reek of old alcohol.

“In the name of Uranus, do you never clean this ornate rag!?”

Remus cackled, taking Janus’ hand to lead him to The Witch’s Serpent, noting that his fingers were webbed. Adorable. 

“Nope! Not since I hauled it off the guy I ran through to get it!”

Janus’ nose crinkled at that yet the siren kept following Remus towards his ship. With a proper glance in the light of the port, Janus piped up, “Oh. That’s an interesting coincidence.”

“What is?”, Remus questioned, making sure no one was aboard yet so he could lift a flustered Janus on deck despite the embarrassed glare he received from the siren.

“I’ve been following your ship for months.”, Janus elaborated, trying to regain his footing on the decks, “With the scraps and bodies you leave behind in your wake, I rarely have to bother hunting for new prey.”

Ah. Remus wasn’t sure what to make of that yet, simply shrugging, “Good to know you’ve been freeloading this whole time.”. 

Once more taking the hand of the siren, Remus led him towards the Captain’s Quarters; the room was just as gilded and ornate as the coat keeping Janus warm, with various trinkets, maps, paintings, and oddities given their own place within the room. Taking the opportunity to snoop around while Remus was rooting around in his desk drawer for bandages, Janus allowed his eyes to lead him on a journey around the room. A telescope, a star map, family photos, animal bones, even a goblet made from a man’s skull connected atop a metal stem, Janus had never seen so many interesting and macabre items. His interest peaked when his gaze landed on a beautiful topaz necklace resting on a book of fairytales.

Janus’ fingers traced the jewellery adoringly. It was rare for such trinkets to end up on the seafloor unless a storm had sent an unfortunate vessel to the depths. Not that Janus was ever lucky enough to get at the spoils; the boisterous captain may be sweet on him, for who knows what reason, but his own kind were never too fond of Janus’ standoffish nature and biting remarks. Of course, Janus didn’t care if he was lonely. He didn’t. Not at all. “You can have it if you want.”

Remus’ voice startled the siren who nearly tripped over the end of the Captain’s large coat. He chuckled and slowly lifted the necklace off the book to carefully let it loop over Janus’ neck.

“It suits you. Really brings out the scales.”, he complimented. Without giving Janus a second to process the act of kindness, Remus led him towards a wooden armchair in front of his desk. He guided Janus to sit down in the chair while Remus sat on the desk itself. To his side was a roll of bandages and a cloth, ‘for the blood trail’ he’d explained, gesturing to the droplets patterning their route. Janus watched the captain remove his bracers and sink to the floor to tend to his wounds. By the gentle way the Captain held and bandaged him, Janus assumed the man had sobered enough for the siren to pose the question,

“Why?”

Remus frowned, looking up to lock eyes with the siren, “Why what?”

“Why’re you...”, being so kind? Treating me so sweetly? Not trying to kill me to sell my skin? “.... treating me like this? You realise I threatened to eat you earlier, right?”

The Captain shrugged, his expression as blank as before, “Yeah. But you didn’t. And you got all fucked up in some moron’s fishing line, so it wasn’t like you posed much of a threat-”

“Exactly.”, Janus interrupted in frustrated confusion in his tone, “My voice is out of practice, if you wanted to, you could’ve slaughtered me for my skin. Any human would be a fool not to. But here you are, treating me like I’m worth more to you alive than dead. Adorning me in such… expensive trinkets.”

Remus’ brow furrowed at that. “For someone who threatened to eat me earlier, I figured you’d practice a little more self preservation.”

The siren scoffed, “I didn’t say I wanted to be slaughtered, I’m merely trying to work out why you wouldn’t take such a chance. Doesn’t your species enjoy monetary gain? Like I said, any human would be a fool to miss such an opportunity- oW!”

Janus fixed Remus a glare as the Captain flicked the abused tip of his leg fin, “First off, yeah, I like money but that's not what I do this shit for. Secondly, most humans think your kind aren’t even real. If I waltzed into town claiming I had siren skin to sell, I’d be run outta town as a conman. Besides, if I’m nice to you, I’ll have an ally in the water, and that's far more valuable to me.”

As he wrapped up the calf area for good, Remus grinned up at the siren, “You’re also really handsome, so that helps.”

Janus’ face crinkled in a flustered surprise, “Remus, I’m part fish-”

“You’re still handsome as fuck.”

“I’m not even using my human glamour-”

“And? You’re hot.”

“I’m literally covered in fish scales-!”

“Still hot!”

Janus couldn’t think of another rebuttal, so Remus counted it as a win for him. He rolled his sleeves to tackle the rest of the injuries when he caught Janus’ eyes tracing the fresh scar on his cheek.

“Wondering how I got this scar?”

“I may be interested.” came the coy reply.

Remus smirked, “You could call it a gift from my brother-in-law. I got a little too up close and personal with his best friend and found up with this beauty. It’s a shame, said bestie’s pretty fun but he’s the biggest pain in my ass since this one time I ate some bad eels-”

“That’s charming,”, Janus interrupted in disgust, “Why don’t you simply dispatch this ‘bestie’ and be done with him?”

“Can’t. If I did that, Virge-”

“Who?”

“My brother-in-law.”

“Ah. Continue.”

“Virge would hunt me down to the ends of the Earth and the last thing I wanna do is trade away my freedom to do whatever the fuck I want.”, he averted his gaze to Janus’ leg and kept bandaging it; whoever had put that line into the ocean had no idea the damage it’d caused to such a beautiful creature. “Besides, if I hurt Virge like that, my brother Roman would be miserable. Even if he probably hates me, some dumb bitch part of me really doesn’t want him to feel like shit just ‘cause I went and upset his soulmate.”

Janus scoffed quietly. It lacked the venom he no doubt intended it to have but the disdain was enough to draw the Captain’s attention. “You humans are far too sentimental. My kind have no qualms treating even close family like scum if we so desire. Even our soulmates it would seem..”

Remus caught the darting glance Janus sent towards his scaled wrist, noting the sigh he suppressed. “.... They’re a damn fool to not want you.”, the Captain murmured thoughtfully as he finally finished the upper shin bandaging. He wiped his brow with the heel of his palm but stopped as he felt smoothe fingers wrap around his wrist. His confusion was answered as the siren bore holes into the sliver of writing on his arm with those mesmerising eyes.

“You’re not the only one having soulmate trouble,”, Remus began answering, “Never really cared much for this shit, but now I got a message, I can’t make heads or tails of it-”

“Help me. I need you.”

Remus locked eyes with Janus, the siren’s own eyes wide with realisation and looking ready to bubble with tears, “That's what it says. It’s in Aquan. I wrote that to my soulmate while I was feeling…. rather vulnerable.”

Unsure of how to react to this turn of events, Remus stood and sat on his desk once more. He was too stunned to reply at first. A million questions swelled and crashed upon the shores of his brain, all fighting to be asked, but Janus beat him to the punch.

“Why did you never write back?”, the hurt in his voice stabbed at the Captain’s heart, “I mean, even if you couldn’t understand me, why didn’t you just...”

Remus wasn’t sure himself. No, that was a lie. He simply never fathomed that the message had been a cry for help. 

“I don’t know. I wasn’t thinking.”, he began, looking to Janus - no, his soulmate, and asking in return, “What happened?”

Janus sucked in a breath through his teeth, “.... It was a moment of weakness but….. My family had cast me out. Not that it was all too surprising, nor could I stand most of them anyway, but… being left alone to wander by yourself is a rather terrifying thought no matter the situation. I’d reached my breaking point. I felt like I’d been abandoned by my kin entirely. I thought perhaps my soulmate would be there for me. I never imagined you were human.”

“Makes sense. I’m sorry your family sucks ass.”. Eloquent as always. But hey, the snicker that got from the siren was worth it in Remus’ eyes. “And I’m sorry I didn’t write back. But I guess it’s good we finally crossed paths.”

Remus gestured for Janus to join him on the desk, to which the siren accepted the offer, being careful not to catch the coat he was still adorned in on anything on the way up. With his soulmate seated by his side, Remus wrapped an arm around the siren and held him close. Janus gave a lop-sided, fond smile, leaning into the act of comfort and gently resting a hand on Remus’ chest.

“What now then, my Captain?”, Janus’ voice was as soft and sweet as a ripe peach. Remus knew it’d require a lot of explanation where his crew was concerned, but he wasn’t about to let Janus slip away from him. He pressed a kiss to the siren’s temple, relishing the blush that spread over Janus’ cheeks. With a grin, Remus cackled,

“Simple, we make good on this alone time we’ve got ‘til my crew get back!”

--

Sorry this one’s so late TTvTT I miight need some time to finish days 10 and up, but I’ll get things written asap. @tsshipmonth2020

Taglist: @somehow-i-got-an-account @cateye-glasses @fandomsofrandom 

[remmushound]

Beyond the Bay chapter 1: Omen in the Lights

Authors note: I know I said this was only going to be posted on A03, but I have decided against that and made the choice to expand it to my regular postings on Tumblr; there will be three posts a week; Monday, Wednesday, Friday.

It was late September, the heat of summer waning to give way to the autumn chill that had started to sweep its way through the city. The first snowfall had yet to arrive, but with the cold settling over New York, it wouldn’t be long before the city was blanketed in white. The moon reached its peak in the night sky and was beginning its downward descent into the west; if anyone had been looking up at that moment, they would have seen something miraculous. A falling star, illuminated brightly in the inky purple sky. Falling to earth on a mission from the stars and crashing into the Hudson river, sinking below the surface, a blinking white light pulsating all the way down

~~~

Deep in the undersewers of New York, in the old tunnels that even the most experience sewer workers didn't dare to enter, was a world forgotten by all but the rats and the creatures unseen. The steady drip drip drip of distant, decaying pipes were to this world like bird calls were to the surface. A constant, steady drumming that ceased not night nor day. Sometimes, the soothing drips would be jarred by the rumble of something old, far beyond its best days, giving a groaning complaint of its age. Rarer still would be a crash that told of one of those ancient structures living its last moments before succumbing to the fate of collapse.

Other than that was the pitter-patter of tiny rodent feet as rats, this worlds most plentiful residents, went about their days searching for scraps on which to feast upon. Sometimes they’d come in swarms, all seeking to indulge in the same noxious smell that invaded their senses. Other times they came alone. But they were always there, mostly unseen, some were bolder than others. 

This day there was a noise other than the drip and scuttle and groan of everyday sewer life. There was the sound of motion, the steady echo of rubber bouncing off stone. The powerful strike of muscle against muscle, shell against shell. The sound of the biggest creatures to call the undersewers home, crashing against each other as they all fought over the basketball. Leo and Mikey vs Donnie and Raph.

The game went on for hours. Longer than any human game. Longer than any crash of giants on any continent. It went on for nearly eight hours before the self-set timer ran out and named Leo and Mikey the winners. The win, of course, was taken with very little modesty by the youngest brother. Leo was glad that, in his twenty-two official years of life, he had learned to tune out the incessant bickering of his two youngest brothers as Mikey boasted of his glory and Raph simmered in his defeat.

Still, even someone with as much patience as Leo Splinterson could only let the bickering go so far until he decided to intervene.

“Okay, okay, you both did well.” Leo got between his brothers, pushing Raph back just slightly. Mikey was more than happy to start hanging over Leo’s shoulders, still running that motormouth of his.

“Don’t feel bad, Raphie!” Mikey put extra emphasis on the childish nickname, “You may be a foot taller, but I gots an extra foot in the game brother!”

“Extra foot in the— that don’t even make sense!” Raph almost snarled.

“You don’t make sense!”

“That don’t make sense either!”

“Cool it.” Leo said finally, “The game was a good warm up for tonight's patrol.”

Those few words made the three younger Splinterson brothers melt into groans.

“What?” Donnie complained.

“No way!” Mikey groaned.

“Seriously?” Raph threw his arms out and then slapped them back down against his thighs.

“What?” Leo said, and then again louder, “What? We go on patrol every night!”

“But Leo, it’s our mutation day!” Donnie groaned. “And we’re exhausted! Plus, April made us that cake—“

“Which we can pick up after patrol.” Leo said simply. 

“But what about dad?” Donnie frowned. “You know he likes us to spend our mutation day together.”

“It’s just three hours.” Leo said. “We’re ninja first, always. You know that. Dad will understand.”

Leo turned to leave, the frustrated mutterings of ‘no fair’ and ‘just had to ruin a good thing’ falling on his deaf ears. He didn't turn around; he already knew his brothers were following him, no matter how they dragged their feet or complained. This was their duty, mutation day or not. He couldn’t stand the thought of missing even the smallest occurrence that could cost them greatly in the long run. Shredder hadn’t been seen since Krang’s very temporary control over the city, but that didn't mean the Foot Clan wasn’t still active and preparing to strike. They had to be ready.

The patrol went by with little difficulty. Everything they saw were the same, normal things they’d seen in the weeks before. Men and women stumbling drunkenly home after a night out; the brothers, of course, would follow the latter to ensure she got home without trouble before going on with the patrol. Other than the women they escorted home, they also witnessed the average amount of drug deals taking place and teens sneaking out of their bedroom windows, and homeless trying to keep warm as they prepared for another long, hard winter; Donnie made sure to slip every single one of them a twenty. Whether they would use it for drugs or food was up to their discretion. Donnie didn't care either way. Who was he to judge?

Raph’s whistle stopped the brothers. Two sets of blue eyes and one set of green turned to him as the team fell to still silhouettes. Raph jerked his head toward an alleyway across the street, and four silent shadows passed over the lamp-lit road. Leo’s eyes scanned the area in its entirety searching for anything that could tell of trouble. Anything out of order. He heard three sets of breaths, not counting his own. No voices. No scuffling that didn't come from his brothers. Still he took in all the tiny details that tied together like an intricate spider web. 

Down in the alley, he saw, was a woman, her hair grayed and wearing a sleeping gown. There were no shoes on her feet and no caregiver in sight, and every step of the elder was slow and shaky. Her voice came through the alley in a language he couldn’t understand, so he turned to Donnie for further confirmation of what he was sure he already knew. Donnie listened to the words carefully.

“Guys, I think she’s lost.” Donnie said, flicking his goggles down over his glasses, “Her vitals are stable, but its freezing.”

“What’s she saying?” Leo asked.

“Uh… she’s asking for help.” Donnie said. 

“Should we go down there?” Mikey asked innocently, looking up to Raph.

“What, and scare her outta her skin?”  Raph asked, showing his canines.

“We can’t just leave her!”

“We ain’t gonna, doofus!”

“Donnie—“ Leo started.

Donnie held up his finger for silence as he started to pace the length of the rooftop, speaking into his headset. “Hi, yes, this is Donatello. You know, giant turtle, four eyes. There’s this old lady here…” He went on to relay their location and explain the situation further. His conversation with the authorities lasted only a few minutes before he ended the call. “Police are on their way.”

Leo nodded. His eyes had never left the alley or the wandering lady as she continued to call out. They stayed there waiting, watching her until the police arrived and even after that, making sure the old lady was safe in the police car being driven home. Only then, sure of the lost woman’s safety, did they continue with their patrol. They didn't get very far however before Mikey stopped and gawked at something.

“Woah!”

“What is it?” Leo asked. He followed Mikey’s gaze into the night sky and felt his jaw drop. 


Donnie looked up next, and then Raph; the former took a long, wheezing gasp while the latter remained silent in his awe.

“What in the fabric of time is that?” Donnie asked.

“It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen!” Mikey beamed, “And I’ve seen April!”

“Glad we came out now, aren’t ya?” Leo smirked, elbowing Mikey in the side.

“Yeah…” Was all Raph was able to say.

It was like all the painters in the world had gotten together, pallets in hand, to pain the sky in streaks of gold and pink and cerulean. Colors bright and bold, melting into each other like a mixing bowl of everything beautiful in the world. A field of flowers woven into the heavens. The lights over the sky rivaled the brightness of the city itself, and in beauty, New York could never compare.

After their night of patrol and a quick stop at April’s to indulge in delicious, homemade cake, the brothers returned to the lair. Long strides carried Donnie past his father, Splinter’s words of welcome met with a mutter and quick departure. The rat only laughed and shook his head, for of course the first thing his second oldest would want to do after a night of work was to head immediately to his lab for more work. After all, when Donnie’s thoughts hardly let him sleep, it was always good to get some extra studying in. He had to keep up to date with all the latest news, even if it had only been a few hours since he had last checked. Raph stayed around just long enough to give his father a half-hearted hug before hurrying off to his room, and Mikey jumped over the old rat like he were an obstacle on the way to the kitchen. Leo was the only one to return Splinter’s welcome home greeting with a greeting of his own, immediately sitting lotus-style before his master to give a report on the night's events.

Pulling up articles to scan for anything interesting, Donnie was immediately flooded with several dozen headlines on the same subject: the beautiful light-show currently swallowing the New York City sky. Some of them were calling the lights a second Aurora Borealis, while other papers said that rockets or satellites were to blame. In fact, most every paper had a different story! A different theory of origin for the sudden glow. When the turtles had witnessed it on their patrol, it had taken such a long time for them to pry their eyes away from the beautiful canvas; even Leo had fallen victim to the painting in the sky! Along with the headlines, Donnie pulled up an influx of videos and pictures documenting the strange occurrence from all angles of the city, some even joined with reports of a meteor crashing into the harbor. Donnie had seen no meteor, but that didn't mean there wasn’t one!

“Hey.” Mikey, as air-headed as he could be, never failed to somehow always sneak up without Donnie hearing him. The box turtle leaned his full weight on his brother's chair, shoving handfuls of Cheetos into his mouth and crunching loudly in Donnie’s ear. Crumbs fell from his open maw as he chewed enthusiastically. “S’mething cool happen?”

Donnie growled and yanked his chair out from under Mikey, snickering as the youngest brother was just barely able to catch and right himself. 

“You know there is Mikey; we saw it!” Donnie said, scooting his chair back in while dusting it free of crumbs. “Every article here is talking about those lights we saw! No one knows what they are!”

“They’re cool is what they are.” Mikey said, nodding his head and swallowing his mouthful before saying, “Do they have a cool name yet? Bet they have a cool name.” He pointed at the screen with his pinkie finger as he cracked open an orange energy drink and started to chug it.

“Everyone’s calling it something different.” Donnie reported, “But whatever they end up calling it, it’s beautiful. Something like this is a once in a life time experience!”

“Isn’t everything in our lives?” Mikey asked, followed by a burp.

“I guess.” Donnie snickered, “But there’s no telling if these lights will be there tomorrow night! I… I really wish I’d documented it, but I was just… too busy thinking of all the possibilities!”

“I know what that’s like.” Mikey nodded.

“It could be a solar event, or a chemical reaction, or a whole new phenomenon—” Donnie whined as his fingers worked quickly to pull up the most recent reports. “According to these, the lights are still there… and it’s just barely four-thirty.” He pressed his lips tightly together and tapped a pattern on his desk, “M...maybe if we hustle, we could still get some decent pictures before day breaks.”

Mikey nodded and smiled. “We totally could, dude.”

“Yes!” Donnie stood up, rushing past Mikey and started to reassemble his gear, pulling cameras and recordings and notepads— he brought three, just in case— and his goggles too. He could never leave home without his goggles! “We could and we are!”

He grabbed his good camera, a big bulk of a thing the size of his head, and pushed his way past Mikey.

“Are we going somewhere?” Mikey asked.

~~~

They were cutting it close. Very close. But Donnie couldn't pass up the opportunity to get at least a few decent pictures. The ones already posted to the internet by awed humans were one thing, but to get the pictures on his own, from the vantage of the highest buildings, was something else entirely. Donnie could only hope that the solar event would take well to the filters of his camera.

“Just a few more pictures.” Donnie promised Mikey as he set up his camera for another great angle. “Then we can head home.”

“Okay.” Mikey’s response was automatic, the words little more than jargon to the younger brother. No doubt Donnie thought the other turtle bored out of his mind, but it was the exact opposite really. Mikey was so focused on the lights in the sky that his mind wouldn’t let him think of anything else. 

They were so beautiful, flashing and blipping in and out of reality with a mind of their own! Mikey rubbed his eyes. He wanted the lights to stay but they kept leaving. He was desperate to reach a hand out, believing he could touch them the little blips he tried, but his arm refused to listen.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” Donnie asked. He snapped another picture of the lights, glad they hadn’t left yet; even with the brightening sky they were just as vibrant and visible as ever. Mikey didn't respond, but that went unnoticed by Donnie being too focused on his current task. “Wonder what it looks like from space!”

Mikey laughed. He laughed but he felt tears on his cheeks. The shinobi whined and lifted his left hand to rub his opposite arm as he felt goosebumps start to dance up the length of his body; at least the left one still listened, he figured, unlike the right one that was like dead weight. But the lights were too beautiful to care, and they were getting brighter too! Closer it seemed. Mikey forgot about his goosebumps as he reached up to touch the colors that started to dance all around him. They felt solid and hot, like burning metal— like he was touching the same stars that started to dance in his head!

Mikey’s lack of response was finally noticed by Donnie. The mutant peeked up from his work to glance at Mikey, groaning with the belief that the turtle had wandered off after a cat or another pizza pigeon. The belief was unfounded and replaced with confusion when he found his younger brother still there, right where he had been when Donnie last checked, still staring. His eyes seemed glassy and that made Donnie tilt his head. The technician’s eyes trailed downward to Mikey’s arm, which looked uncomfortably stiff, muscles bulging and veins defined as if he were under great strain.

“Mikey?” Donnie asked, setting his camera down to take a step closer to his brother. “Are you alright?”

Mikey smacked his lips together as pure heat flooded his mouth, like he had just swallowed a handful of peppers. Shadows were around him, speaking words he couldn’t hear, but they were so familiar to him that he tried to respond.

“Fer… repub… not… don’t like....” Mikey tried. His words came out wrong— that wasn’t what he wanted to say! He tried it again. “Great...er...ggg…”

“Mikey!” Donnie ran forward, wrapping strong arms around the ninja’s shell when Mikey began to slump forward, almost enough to fall off the edge he was standing on. Donnie yanked him back, pulling Mikey to fall back onto the roof instead; Donnie’s body worked to soften the fall for the other turtle as they both went down, the older cradling the younger.

The lights were still there, still overhead, and still blinking their toxic song.

[nahoyaglock]

📃 AS I AM CHAPTER 1 — Surprise!

SUMMARY — You knew Kageyama Tobio since you both were in diapers, being close family 'friends'. You always wanted to befriend the quiet kid but no matter your efforts, he would never crack. When you transfer schools and meet Kageyama again, what will happen to your relationship?

PAIRING — family friend!kageyama x fem!reader

GENRE — fluff/crack/angst

WARNINGS — uh, non rlly, just enjoy :D

WORD COUNT — 2.1k

FIND THE MASTERLIST HERE

(Sent September 15th at 6:32 am)

Y/N: [Good morning Tobio!]

You turned your phone off before sitting up to stretch your arms. The warm sunrays peeked through your thick curtains, your room taking the shade of an idigo hue. You let out a bronx cheer before hopping out of bed, looking around at your nearly empty room. bzzz!

You smiled to yourself, hands finding your small hand held device before opening your notification, seeing a text from Kageyama.

(Sent September 15th at 6:33 am)

Kageyama: [Morning.]

Y/N: [How did you sleep?]

[Also, I have a surprise for you Tobiooo!]

Kageyama: [I slept fine. What is it?]

Y/N: [It wouldn't be a surprise if you told ya!]

You set your phone down gently on your drawer and you heard a light knock on your door, then the nob turning. Your mom peeked her head through the crack in your door, smiling as she watched you open your blinds.

"Hey honey," she whispered, knocking again lightly. You faced your mother with a sleepy grin, "good morning mom." You grabbed two bags from the corner of your room, slinging them over your shoulder.

"I'll load up the car mom, don't worry okay?" You walk over to the door and she moves over, allowing you to get through the door. "We leave in 20 minutes okay?" She pats your back before walking off to her room, leaving you to your job.

You slipped on your fuzzy pink slippers sitting at the front door and your turned the lock to go out. You went back and forth, in and out of the house loading up all of your luggage and baggage needed for the move. Your mom had finished her loading and was turning on the car as you grabbed your phone and locked up the house.

You climbed into the backseat with a fluffy, warm blanket for the long ride, buckling yourself up and checking your notifications.

(Sent September 15th at 6:35 am)

kageyama: [you're quiet annoying you know?]

(Sent September 15th at 7:01 am)

Y/N: [I wouldn't be y/n if I wasnt, am I right?]

After hours of sleeping, snacking and playing video games, the ride had come to an end. "We're here baby, wake up." Your mom shook your arm softly and your slowly forced your eyes open. You groaned and sat up, rubbing your eyes and yawning.

You and your mom unloaded your luggage into the empty house, your new home. It was a house way smaller than your previous one, two rooms, a bathroom and a small livingroom that connects to the kitchen. You decided that you wanted it to feel as much like a home as did your old house, so you decided to start decorating.

(Sent September 15th at 2:13 pm)

Y/N: [Hey tobio, ill tell you about the surprise in a week! :3]

Kageyama: [okay.]

As you went through some boxes you found old photos of you and Kageyama, the male with a blank expression but you could barely stay still that you were slightly blurry. You smiled at the memories of being an energetic kid and decided to put up the photos of you and kageyama on your pin board.

After your room was decently put together, missing a desk and a bed of course, you texted your friends from your old school and went to your moms room to see her folding her clothes. "Hey mom, can we go to the school to pick up my stuff?" She turned to you and smiled, putting her shirt down and standing up.

"Ah, yeah lets go now." She grabbed her keys and lead you to the car, you bouncing with excitement behind her. You opted on riding in the front with her, smiling at her as she turned the keys to start the car. The ride was filled with your conversation with your mom, talking about what you two should do since you arrived in your new home, your school and how you live closer to the rest of your family.

You pulled up to your new school and you eyed the entrance, reading the signs and inspecting the buildings. Your mom parked and unlocked the car, allowing you to hop out under the cold breeze. "Lets go honey," your mom grabbed your arm lightly and pulled you along with her, entering your new highschool. Karasuno highschool.

The principal greeted you and your mother and started to show you around the school. You saw your classes, your locker, the gym, and other important stuff that you mentally noted. Lastly was the office, where he gave you your printed schedule, needed textbooks and school uniform. With a wave goodbye you and your mom left to go back to your house, the car ride was silent this time.

—

It was the day, the day you started your first day at your new school. It's been a week since you settled into your new home, finally having a bed and a desk, some drawers and other things. You felt like you were at home, finally ready for a new start. Your mom decided to drive you to school for your first day, despite living close to the school.

"Are you excited?" She asked, eyes on the road with a proud smile. "Yeah, I am, time for a new start," you smiled, looking at your phone. "Well, im just glad you're feeling well. About your dad, you know–" your mom started. Your parents divorced, and your dad bringing in the most income, you and your mom had to leave tokyo, no longer able to afford the house that you had lived in since the age of 3.

"Mom, its fine, really. It didn't work out and thats okay, because now we have a little home of our own," you smiled widely, grabbing your bag as your mom parked at the side of the road. "Oh! Can we get a puppy?" You asked, bouncing in your seat and she laughed.

"I'll think about it. Have a good day, and if you see Kageyama tell him I said hi," she waved as you climbed out the car and you nodded at her before crossing the street and entering the school. You were so excited, seeing other students who noticed your foreign presence.

(Sent September 23rd at 6:54 am)

Y/N: [Good morning tobio!]

[I'll tell you the surprise later, are you busy after school?]

Kageyama: [morning, and yes I have volleyball.]

Y/N: [ah, okay! Have a good day today]

You spent your day alone, just taking in the new setting and adjusting to the classes you had. You had a few students talk to you when they found out you were new, but you decided to eat lunch alone that day. The day went by pretty fast and while you were slightly tired, you were still pumping with excitement. After all, you were going to see Kageyama today.

School ended, and after class you went down to your locker to put away some of your books and take anything you needed out of there. You remembered that Kageyama said he would be doing volleyball club today, and you assumed it would be held in the gym. You turned to see a tall blonde headed male with glasses from one of your classes.

"Excuse me, sir?" You tapped the male, causing him to stop and face you, removing his head phones and putting his hands in his pockets. "You're the new kid, y/n? Right?" He asked, but before you could answer he scoffed, "what do you need?"

"Ah, do you know where the volleyball club is meeting today?" You stood on one foot, bouncing slightly, which wasnt unnoticed by the male. "Im in the club, we're meeting in the gym." He answered before he turned to head to the gym.

"Is it cool if i walk with you then?" You asked, leaning to your left side to peek at the boy who scoffed before nodding. You smiled and he started walking, so you waddled after him. "Ah, whats your name?" You asked taking big steps to match the tall males natural stride. "Tsukishima Kei. Call me Tsukishima."

You realized that maybe he wasn't the type to like conversations based on the annoyance in his tone, so you just followed behind silently until you arrived at the gym. The team were doing warmups of their own already while a few males had stood around and talked amongst themselves. "Woah, Tsukishima! Is that like, your girlfriend or something?"

You saw a small male, with a noticably bright streak of blonde hair smack dab in the middle of his forehead. "Im Nishinoya Yu!" He grinned and stuck out a friendly hand, which you took. "Ah, actually im new here, I just asked Tsukishima to show me the volleyball club." You giggled at the charismatic member.

"What– what did you come to the club for? Are you trying out to be the new manager or something?" A taller, nearly bald male said, appearing behind the shorter male. Tsukishima groaned and walked off to the other side of the gym. "Ah, im actually here to see a friend." They both looked at each other then turned to the third years.

"Daichi, do you know her?" Nishinoya asked, pointing at you and the gyms attention was on you. You put your hands up and waved in defense "ah wait, im actually here to see–"

"Oh, whos this?" A familiar voice said and you turned to the entrance of the gym to see Kageyama Tobio. His eyes widened in shock and he froze, dropping his water bottle as you smiled widely at him. "Kageyama!" You shouted and ran to the male, wrapping your arms around his neck, giggling lightly as he stood frozen in shock.

"Y-y/n..?" He asked and softly pushed you off of him, looking at you with a glare that also had a hint of confusion fused in. "What are you doing here?" He asked, even though he knew exactly what was going on. He saw your uniform and heard about a new student who had transferred to their school. But why you?

"Well, I moved here and thought, why not transfer to your school?" You smiled as all the boys headed over. A orange haired male walked around you, inspecting you, bouncing around with an energetic presence. "Are you and Kageyama dating?"

"You moron!" Kageyama yelled and slapped hinata on the back of the head, causing the orange haired males expression turn sour. You jumped lightly and rubbed the short males head "ah, tobio." He whines and looks up at you and pouts at Kageyama. "Your girlfriend is way cooler and nicer than you."

"Ah, im not Kageyamas girlfriend, we're family friends," you say to the small male, and he thinks for a minute. "Ah, this is y/n?" Hinata asks and Kageyama pinches his ear, dragging him away while yelling at him. You smile and turn to the other males, seeing the captain walking over towards you.

"Hello, im Daichi Sawamura, call me Daichi." He says and bows. "Im Y/n L/n," you greet back. You were allowed to stay and watch the practice, and he even introduced you to the other team members and the coaches. The whole practice you watched Kageyama, who would occasionally shoot glances at you. You also noted that he wasn't doing really well, he seemed really distracted.

After practice ended, you stood up, slinging your bag over your shoulder and attempted to approach him, but he exited the gym as quickly as he could. You were slightly shocked and just decided to text him, hinata sneaking up on you. "Hey y/n, how do you know Kageyama?"

"Hmm, oh! Our moms are best friends, so kageyamas family was always welcome at out family get togethers," you stated, not taking your eyes off of your screen.

(Sent September 23rd at 8:05 pm)

Y/N: [hey kageyama, do you want a ride from my mom?]

Daichi called for everyone to exit the gym, so you put your phone into your pocket and exited with Hinata and Nishinoya. "So, Kageyamas girlfriend?" Noya asked and you laughed, "im not his girlfriend, again." You correct as you two walk to the bike racks for Noya and Hinata to grab their bikes.

"Hmm, well a friend of kageyamas is a friend of mine!" Hinata smiles and mounts his bike, wide and bright smile, when you hear a honk. "Ah thats my mom, I'll see you guys again!"

"Wait, do you want to eat lunch with us tomorrow?" Nishinoya asked, mounting his bike. "Ah, I'll think about it, it was nice to meet you guys!" You wave goodbye to the males and jog over to your moms car, climbing into the passenger seat.

(Sent September 23rd at 8:09 pm)

Kageyama: [no.]

© tomura-heart — all rights reserved. reposting, modifying, or copying is not allowed. you may translate with my permission and correct crediting. do not read my writing as asmr. do not plagiarize.

[personasintro]

adaywithoppa (m) | jm

–– 𝒔𝒚𝒏𝒐𝒑𝒔𝒊𝒔; adaywithoppa is a website where you can book a tour guide, what happens when you book one without you knowing?

–– 𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈: jimin x reader

–– 𝒈𝒆𝒏𝒓𝒆: smut, fluff

–– 𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔: strong language, light dirty talk & spanking, nipple play, protected sex, oral sex [female and male, receiving & giving], denied orgasm, switch!jimin [kinda], one night stand au [kinda], jimin is angel and devil at the same time

–– 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒅 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒕: 16.5k

𝒎.𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕 –– 𝒌𝒐-𝒇𝒊

–– this story is inspired by ohmyoppa.com website

© 𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒐𝒏𝒂𝒔𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒓𝒐 (𝒏𝒐 𝒓𝒆𝒑𝒐𝒔𝒕𝒔 𝒐𝒓 𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒏𝒔𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒐𝒘𝒆𝒅)

Crinkled eyes. 

Cute nose. 

Plump plushy lips.

Beautiful smile.

Dark fluffy hair. 

That’s all you notice as you stare at the picture Jiyoo sent you four minutes ago, while walking towards Gangnam station. There is a lot of people on the sidewalk, despite of the chilly weather that comes with September. Why can’t they just stay in the comfort of their homes?

to: jiyoo

is that him?

You quickly text Jiyoo before stuffing your phone into the pocket of your thin jacket to avoid of bumping into someone. Cracked screen and the embarrassment is the last thing you need. There is unsettling feeling in the pit of your stomach, indicating the nervousness you feel. You don’t like being in the crowds in general and definitely not in Seoul which is crowded with so many people. Not only citizens, but foreigners as well. You guess it’s because of k-pop which brings even more tourists to South Korea in general. There is not a store where isn’t some k-pop star promoting some cosmetic product, or even their merchandise on the side of walk in stands. You can find a lot from different k-pop groups in almost every store. And you’re on your way to meet a stranger, who you don’t know nothing about. Great.

Your pocket vibrates, letting you know that you got a message. Pulling out your phone out of your pocket, you still eye the road in front of you just in case. 

from: jiyoo

yeees, isn’t he cute?

You would scoff, if there weren't a bunch of people around you, so you keep your reaction to yourself. Another message pops up, before you have time to check the time.

from: jiyoo

are you there?

Checking the time, you realise you have only four minutes to get there. Surely, it wouldn’t mind if you were little bit late but Jiyoo insisted you to be on time. She was almost too persistent about it and you had to even promise her that you would be on time. 

to: jiyoo

yup, three minutes away from the station

You reply back, your heart picking up its pace when you realise that you’re on your own. As much as you wanted to spend your free day off today, Jiyoo asked you to pick up her friend. Apparently her friend whom you’re still not sure about. You’ve never heard about this friend, whom is supposed to come here and visit Jiyoo. He’s not from Seoul and he came as a tourist, wanting to see a little bit of this wondrous city. Unfortunately, Jiyoo had to go to work, asking you if you could do it for her. Of course, your first reaction was panic and fast ‘no’ echoing in your common small apartment. Why should you be the one guiding him around Seoul? You’re still getting lost whenever you’re supposed to take the train, leaving you to ask strangers what is the right way. It’s already stressful doing that. But the good friend and roommate you are, you said yes after a whole hour of her begging you. She even sent you a picture, so you could find and spot him better. It’s not helping the guy is incredible cute and handsome, and your awkward self isn’t ready to face him. You should have put more effort into your outfit and make-up, but there’s nothing you can do about it now. 

from: jiyoo

yeees! hurry up, don’t be late

You push the urge of rolling your eyes at her message, hearing those words for a hundredth time today. 

from: jiyoo

oh and his name is jimin

With a huge sigh, when reality hits you that you’re really doing this, you put your phone back into the pocket, when a huge sign of Gangnam station appears in front of you. There are too many people going in and out from the station, your mind already panicking from the hectic place. Eyeing your surroundings, you try to find exit ten which is the exit he should be at. You notice the huge digital clocks on the building, showing it’s two in the afternoon. 

Just on time. You think as you feel slightly proud for not being late. It’s probably because Jiyoo basically kicked your ass before she went to work saying ‘you better not be late’.

You stop in your tracks, in a perfect distance to analyse your surrounding and localise that guy. There are people mindlessly going however they like, not paying that much attention to everyone else on the street. Just when you think you’ve failed, the idea of waiting and trying to find him irritating you, you spot him. He leans against the street lamp, his eyes gazing over his surrounding – probably trying to find you – before he adverts his eyes back to his phone. You caught a quick glimpse of his plushy lips and you feel your heart shivering. Fuck, does he have to look so good? He wears some loose grey sweater with blue jeans and black boots, looking comfortable but stylish at the same time. His dark hair is covering his forehead, a few strands falling into his eyes as he looks down on his phone. You’re not sure if it’s really him, but it definitely resembles the guy from the picture Jiyoo sent you. So with hesitant steps, and the last sigh of desperation, you slowly walk towards the guy. 

Please, let it be him. Please, let it be him. You pray, not wanting to feel the embarrassment of mistaking him for someone else. 

And just when your eyes are set on him, not paying any attention to anything else, he looks up. His eyes meet yours so fast, that you almost have a whiplash but you remain cool. 

Fuck. It’s him. He even looks better than in the photos.

It only confirms it when he probably realises you’re the one who he’s suppose to meet, his pink shiny lips stretching into friendly smile. He straightens up, ready for you to be closer to him and once you are, your breath hitches in your throat. 

“Hey, are you Jimin?” 

You want to pat yourself for not letting your voice shiver, sounding way more confident than you probably are. But you still could put more effort and empathy to your nonchalant voice. Wanting to remedy it, you send him a crooked smile. 

“Hello, yes that would be me.” He lightly laughs, confirming your thoughts once again as he slightly bows his head. You do the same, feeling a rush of embarrassment in you. 

You’re taken aback from the sweet melody leaving past his lips – his voice. You weren't thinking about how he might sound, but you definitely wasn’t expecting such a soft calm voice leaving his already handsome body and face. Not only this guy looks perfect, he even sounds like it. 

Where are your manners, Y/N?! You scold yourself mentally, hoping he doesn’t seem how awkward you are. But he probably does, when you only stand there looking at him before shifting your eyes on the people passing by, not reacting in any way. 

“So,” He starts, eyes not leaving your totally embarrassed and nervous figure, saying it with a light friendly tone as before. “You booked a Gangnam tour, but it’s fine if you’ve changed your mind. We can do whatever you want for the past two hours and thirty minutes.” 

Blinking, you stand there dumbfounded trying to catch his words. Booked? Gangnam? 

“Pardon?” You let out, still looking at him as if he is some freaking lunatic. Have you heard him right? 

“Well, we could go to coin karaoke, shopping, game arcade or we could just go eat. Whatever you want.” He says, a friendly expression not leaving his face even thought you’re looking at him as if he grown two heads.

“What are you talking about? Jiyoo told me I should show you around.” You tell him, your brows raising at him in question.

This time, his brows hidden behind his bangs furrows in confusion. “Jiyoo? Who’s Jiyoo?” Great, you’re not the only one who is fucking confused by this. 

“Your friend? And my friend?” You ask him dumbfounded, having him stare at you like you’re some lunatic this time. 

“I don't know anyone named Jiyoo.” He speaks, his brows still furrowed, probably equally confused like you. 

Narrowing your eyes at him, you eye him suspiciously before knowing smirk appears on your lips. “Is this some prank?” You ask him, crossing your arms over your chest. If it is, you’re going to kill Jiyoo and probably Jimin as well. She’s just wasting your time with this bullshit when you could've been in your bed, scrolling through your phone. 

“No, not that I know of.” He answers gently, slightly shaking his head. Maybe he’s just great actor causing you to think where Jiyoo found him. She never took an acting class in her whole life. But when you simply stare into Jimin’s eyes, you see how truly confused he is by this. Something is wrong. 

“Wait,” You speak up, your arms unfolding as you brush your hair out of your face. ”My friend, Jiyoo, asked me to come to meet you, so I could show you around before we go to our place.” You explain as best as you can, watching him blink at you couple of times, processing your explanation.

“Woah, no, I’m definitely not allowed to go to your place.” He says, raising his arms in surrender. 

Sighing, you pull out your phone and scroll through your messages with Jiyoo, finding the picture she sent you. “This is you, isn't it?” You ask, showing him your phone with his picture in it. 

“Yes,” He nods, once he scans the picture. But then his eyes slightly widen, when he notices something about the picture. He lets out a soft chuckle, shaking his head as finally understanding something, which you’re clearly still clueless about. “I'm supposed to take you to Gangnam and show you around, because you, but I have the feeling you’re not who did it, booked me.” He explains, causing your jaw to drop. 

Booked him?

“Are you a prostitute?” You almost screech, the thought of Jiyoo booking you a prostitute causing you to feel uncomfortable. Yeah, you don’t go out and hang out with guys that often, but you’re not that desperate. It slowly unfolds to you and you know, that Jiyoo is behind all of this. But you’re not sure what ‘all of this’ means yet. 

“What? Of course not!” He is quick to refute your assumption, his eyes widening. 

“Than who the hell are you?” You burst before you can shut your mouth, your politeness long gone.

“Ever heard about mydaywithoppa?” He asks, causing you to slowly shake your head. “It’s a website where you can book someone, a guy, who will show you around and spend some time with you.”

“So I am basically renting you?” You ask, still processing his words but you have a slight idea of what he is talking about.

“Yeah, you could say that.” He confirms with a small nod.

“This is weird.” You think out loud, having no clue why Jiyoo would do such a thing. This is so fucking awkward and you’re embarrassing yourself in front of this handsome guy, who is probably too sweet and polite about this whole situation. 

“I get it that your friend probably made this booking for you without you knowing.” You don’t know whether he talks because he just wants to say something, so you wouldn't stay in the awkward silence, or because he is figuring it out on his own. 

“Yeah, I think you’re right,” You nod, pulling out your phone to call her but her phone is turned off. She never turns off her phone. “Why would she do something like this? I’ve been living here for three years, I don’t need this. No offence,” You speak, his hands motioning you that it’s fine and he’s not offended. “Although, I do get lost a few times and mostly spend my time in bed but I don’t need this. I’m sorry she dragged you into this, I will personally kill her when I see her. I’m sorry for wasting your time.” You apologise, scowling at the image of your friend. God, you’re going to strangle her once you see her.

“You’re not wasting my time. You, your friend, booked me for two hours and thirty minutes.” He corrects himself, stuffing his hands into his pockets. 

“Well, I think there is no need to do this. I think we should go our separate ways since this is not my doing. I think there is someone else needing your services more than I do.” You’re rumbling, too eager to get out of this awkward and humiliating situation. 

“It’s already payed for.” He says straight away, his eyes set on you.

“What? She even payed for this? She’s such a bitch!” You exclaim, not thinking about your words but it’s too late. You curse out loud, causing a few elders people to scowl at you and you embarrassingly smile. Jimin doesn’t seem too phased by it, giggling at your reaction causing your own lips to twitch. Well, at least he doesn't think you’re fucking lunatic. And maybe he does, but he doesn’t let it show. 

“Well, consider this as free money.” You shrug. 

“I can’t do that,” Jimin shakes his head. “I would feel bad. I’m getting payed for this, so let’s just enjoy this together. I mean, I could show you the right way so you wouldn’t get lost.” He suggests, causing you to bite your inner cheek. 

You’re not sure about this. You’re already fucking embarrassed and as much as handsome angel he is, you hope you never have to see him again. But on the other hand, he is really nice and even if you just spent ten minutes trying to figure out what the hell just happened, his company is nice. And he is looking at you with brown eyes, not letting you feel like an idiot which you feel like. Instead, he is nice wanting to spend his time with you. Maybe he is doing it for his own consciousness but it still feels nice. Having someone wanting to spend their time with you, even though he is getting payed for it, but it’s nice. Although, you just spent a few minutes of humiliation, embarrassment and probably more mixed feelings together, you realise that you don’t feel that panic and anxiety which you initially went here with. 

“I don’t know, this is so freaking embarrassing.” You admit, whining a little bit and stomping your foot to prove your point, not noticing the small amused grin on his lips. 

“I won’t force you into anything. If you really don’t want to do this, we can go our separate ways and forget about this. But I’m giving you the money back. I don’t think I deserve them.” He tells you, scratching the back of his head. 

Having no idea why, you feel the slight guilt inside of you. This is his job, and all he wants to do is his job, which is not only beneficial for him, but for you as well – it depends on how you look at it, of course. And the whole idea of spending some more time with him, finally communicating with someone else beside Jiyoo, your parents and Hoseok – your best friend – doesn’t seem so bad. And maybe it’s just Jimin’s aura that makes you comfortable talking with a complete stranger. 

Although, you do feel irritated with Jiyoo and still plan her murder in your head, you’re already here, standing in the middle of Gangnam full of interesting activities on every corner. Gangnam, location where you’re getting lost too much. 

“Fine, let’s do this.” You tell him finally, letting out a nervous chuckle but all the negative emotions disappear when Jimin’s lips form into a shiny smile, the same he has on the picture. 

“So, is this what you do for your living?” You ask Jimin, who takes a sip from his strawberry milkshake. You can’t help, but grow curious about his job. You’ve never heard about those services but as Jimin explained to you, it’s pretty new in South Korea, but it already is very popular amongst women. As Jimin said, their website is the number one Korean private tour platform. It’s something fresh and modern compared to usual touring guides, like bus tour or just simple guide person who shows you around. This way, it seems closer and more personal. You kind of get people using these services, especially tourists who feels lonely, but you still wouldn't use them yourself. But that’s just maybe from your natural fear of strangers.

“Ah, no. I’m still studying at one of the universities here. It’s a nice way to earn some money.” Jimin answers, playing with the thick straw in his hand. 

You notice silver rings adoring his fingers, which are decorated with veins disappearing beneath the material of his sweater, which looks cuddly and comfortable. You even notice his small pinky finger, causing you to think he’s even way cuter than you previously thought so. He’s not that tall but his height is just perfect – for you, but that’s beside the point. 

“Are you popular?” Jokingly, you wiggle your brows at him causing him to slightly chuckle at you. 

“Hmm, I don’t know. They didn't fire me yet, so I think I’m good.” He shrugs with a grin, adoring his thick lips and you have to look away from the sight, when you feel something jumping in your chest. Fuck, this guy has a talent. 

Pulling and unlocking your phone with your fingertips, it opens to your messages with Jiyoo, which she still doesn’t responds to. 

to: jiyoo

what the fuck jiyoo

is this some prank?

a tour guide really????

Sighing, you close the conversation knowing she still probably keeps her phone turned off, just in case you would go livid and call her until she picks up. “What is the website?” You ask, waiting for his answer as you sip from your banana milkshake. 

“Adaywithoppa.” Jimin answers, watching you as you type it into your search bar and clicks on the website, since it’s the first thing to show.

“Am I suppose to call you Oppa?” You ask, wiggling your brows again with a grin, cringing how it sounds from your mouth. For all you know, he could be younger than you. 

“You can, if you want to.” He says, shrugging his shoulders not really voicing his own opinion. You get it that he’s doing his job, which is satisfy your time and tour spent with him. You would like to know his opinion about it. Does he like being called like that? You want to know, but he’s not here for you to get to know him as if this was date or friend meeting. 

You don’t respond, adverting your eyes back to your phone instead. You’re welcomed with modern minimalistic website and nice picture with some Asian guy who’s holding a tour flyer with a map on it. “BOOK NOW” is shown with a few points saying bookings must be made at least forty-eight hours in advance. There is couple of different sales and discounts as you scroll down, a pictures of guys following right after. 

Alex. 

Lucas. 

Minho. 

Daniel. 

Namjoon. 

All of them has their name and picture below it, showing their faces. Those guys are cute and you know they must be picking them up because of their looks. As sad as it sounds, it’s true. They wouldn’t employee someone not as attractive for people. After all, girls wants cute and hot guy to guide them around Seoul. All of them has some small bio, followed with description of their personality, interests and their favourite places. As you continue with scrolling down, trying to find someone, you find him. 

It’s the picture Jiyoo sent you, claiming it’s her ‘friend’ but you already know it was bullshit. Grinning, you show Jimin your phone screen causing him to shrink in his seat with goofy grin, probably embarrassed. Going back to his page, you start to read it. 

>>L A N G U A G E<<

Korean ∙ Japanese ∙ English

You’re surprised by the amount of languages he speak, and for some reason you find it interesting – attractive, even. Moving to another part of his page, your eyes stay glued to your phone not noticing Jimin’s eyes watching you. 

‘Hello, my name is Jimin :) Welcome to my page & Seoul. I’ve been living in Seoul for more than five years. Currently I’m studying at one of the universities in Seoul. I’m here to guide you to the unknown places for foreigners, which locals usually visit. We will have fun, I promise. Hopefully, I get to see you!’ 

It’s brief and cute, showing some of the Jimin’s cute personality, although, you don’t know him but you can tell he wrote it. Although it’s short and brief, it’s still enough to let you have an idea of who he is.

>>P E R S O N A L I T Y<<

friendly ∙ open-minded ∙ warmhearted

>>I N T E R E S T S<<

Socialising ∙ Music ∙ Dance ∙ Animals 

>>P L A C E S<<

Gangnam ∙ Han River ∙ Itaewon 

Swiping right, you look at a few pictures of Jimin. The first one is on a boat, where he wears blue swimming shorts with a white t-shirt. The next one is him at some restaurant, wearing a black turtleneck with silver earrings in his left ear. He looks freaking good, but you don’t let it show on your face. Moving to the third one, it’s him wearing a Mickey-hat, probably at Disneyland you guess, considering all the lights and carousel behind him. He grins so widely, that his eyes are crinkled showing his teeth in full display. 

Moving to ‘GO OUT WITH JIMIN’, you’re quick to realise it’s price list. 

Customising [2 hours 30 mins]

Make your own traveling with Jimin. If you want to have your own journey with him, contact us now. ₩116 687,00

“What?! 116 687,00 won?!” You screech so loudly, that you shift on your spot uncomfortable when customers in the coffee show you’re in, gives you a weird glances. “She really payed that much?” You huff out, not believing your friend paid so much just so you could spent your time with some stranger. 

“There are some cheaper options.” Jimin answers lightly and he is right. They aren’t much cheaper, but you guess it depends on the time you want to spent with him and the journey you’ll choose. There is plenty to choose from as Han River walk and picnic, Gangnam exploring, visiting Lotte Tower and many more. It’s very flexible for foreigners and you like the idea of it. 

At the end of the Jimin’s page, there is ‘Messages’ written on it. People who probably used his services has written their reviews on him. 

‘He was so friendly and made me feel like we’ve known each other for so long’ 

‘If I ever come back to Seoul, I’ll definitely choose Jimin again :)’ 

‘Thank you Jimin for nice day spent with you’ 

‘Y’all you have to choose Jimin if you are ever considering this, trust me you won’t regret it!!!!’ 

‘He is so beautiful inside and out, wow I think I’m in love lol’ 

It goes on and on, leaving his page with hundreds of messages. Positive messages recommending and praising him. 

“Wow, you’re so popular...” You tell him, locking and putting your phone away, focusing on Jimin’s warm eyes and pink cheeks. “Those girls love you.” 

“Ah, no!” He exclaims, shaking his hands in disagreement before he covers his mouth with stretched hand and palm, giggling. Again, it sounds like sweet melody coming from him and you’re not sure if you ever heard nicer laugh before. 

“Are there any rules on what you can and can’t do?” You ask, once he calms down and you watch him with a slight smile playing on your lips. You’re growing more curious every second about this, finding it rather interesting than weird. 

“Conversation and getting know each other is fine, I mean, you can’t really do this without talking. Holding hands and hugging is fine, but there is no kissing allowed. Also, we can’t give our phone numbers to our customers, they’re only allowed to know our public social media, if we have any and are fine with giving it away.” He explains, using his sweet tone reminding you of hones, for some reason. 

“Are you fine with holding hands and hugging with strangers?” You ask with slightly widened eyes, plopping your chin on your palm. 

“Yeah, I don’t really mind it. I think after almost three hours you get to know that person a little bit more, so it’s not that weird. At least not anymore. We are here to give you a great time and it’s not like holding hands and hugging is too much. Kissing and... activities like that are strictly prohibited.” He answers politely with a shrug, while you nod in understanding. 

“Have you experienced some trouble? Like some girl would try to kiss you?” You ask him, praying you’re not crossing any line with this. “You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.” You add quickly, but he only smiles at you. 

“No, it��s fine,” He assures you with yet another smile, calming you down a bit. “Yes, it happened a few times.” He answers, surprising you. 

Of course, Jimin is attractive and all but you didn’t think someone would actually do it since it’s against rules. Jimin mentioned you earlier that once you violate the rules, you’re prohibited from using their services forever. 

“What? It did?” You almost screech, imaging the whole unpleasant experience it must've been for Jimin. “What did you do?”

“Usually, I would pull away just in time, reminding them of rules. It’s never in my intention to be rude, so I try to do it as politely as I can.” 

“Aren’t you suppose to report it to your company?” You ask him, causing him to nod. 

“Yes. We need to report everything that violets the rules, so they can prohibit those people from coming back. The company really cares about out safety as much as they can.” 

“So, you reported those girls?” You ask him, making sure. You expect him to nod, but he seems freeze in his spot before he shifts uncomfortably. 

“Not every time.” He admits. 

“Jimin!” You exclaim with opened mouth and furrowed brows. Why didn’t he report them? It can get dangerous, you don’t know what desperate women could do. Not mentioning he actually has to report everything. He basically risks his job for women who can’t follow rules nicely.

“They are lonely. They can get the feeling that I’m their friend or something. I kind of understand it, that’s why I try to explain that to them as nicely as I can. They’re not bad people, Y/N.” He says, his brows raised slightly.

“Have you ever reported someone?” You ask him, causing him to nod.

“Yeah, you can think about this whatever you want, but I wouldn’t let it go if I knew I was in some danger. Those women were quick to apologise and never repeated it again.” 

“They come back?” You ask, your mouth falling open. It just confirms your previous assumptions that he’s very popular. You’re not surprised. You’ve spent the last twenty minutes with him and you already got a feeling he’s in the stage of being your friend, which is ridiculous and you know you’ll never meet him again after this. 

“They do.” He chuckles little bit at that. 

“And about those women you reported?” 

“They actually kissed me.” He answers with shrug and you feel sorry for him immediately. It must be awful being touched and kissed by strangers and without your permission. As much as lonely they can get, you don’t kiss someone without their permission. Not when it’s against the rules and that person is practically a stranger for you. 

“I’m so sorry, Jimin.” You pout slightly, without realising causing Jimin to smile sweetly at you. 

“I told you that I’m thinking about my safety.” He reminds you with cheeky grin and you jokingly roll your eyes at him, causing him to laugh again. 

Reaching out for the raspberry cupcake he bought you, the two milkshakes as well, since he insisted on paying, you take a bite. The soft texture of dough is melting on your tongue and you roll your eyes in delight, causing Jimin to chuckle. 

“You wanna taste it?” You ask with full mouth, quickly covering it with your hand even though you think he caught a glimpse of the cupcake in your mouth. 

He surprises you when he nods, causing you to hold the bitten cupcake to him. What surprises you even more is, when he doesn’t take it and instead bites into it as you’re holding it. His eyes flickers to you as his thick lips are wrapped around the small piece of cream and dough. Your breath catches in your throat, causing you to swallow it right after. He pulls away, licking the remained cream on his lips while his eyes are burrowing into yours. You watch his tongue swiping against his pinkish lips before he leans back, giving you an innocent smile. 

What. The. Fuck. Was. That. Your mind is racing just from the simple act. Is he aware of what he has done? 

“Tell me something about you, Y/N...” He speaks up, cutting off your wild thoughts.

“What do you wanna know?” You ask him before you take another bite of the cupcake. Your eyes taking a glance onto the spot Jimin bit into for a brief moment, before you look elsewhere. 

“Anything you’re willing to share.” He says, plopping his elbows onto the table, leaning towards you closer. You’re still in safe distance but you can't help but notice the small freckles on his cheeks and dewy skin. 

“I’m boring.” You answer with a shrug, not really knowing what you should tell him about yourself. You’re not interesting and he might think you’re boring. You’re sure he had much better company, the women before you were probably attractive and talkative. Probably had a great sense of humour as well. 

“I’m sure that’s not true,” He is quick to respond with a shake of his head, eyes slightly furrowing. “Come on, it can be anything.” 

Sighing, you look at him in defeat knowing you would feel awful for declining him, since he shared a few informations with you. Informations which aren’t just basic to tell. 

“I’m twenty-three and I graduated last year,” You begin, seeing the corners of his lips twitch. “What?” You ask nonchalantly, thinking he already finds you boring and regretting asking you to tell him something about you. 

“I’m twenty-five.” He says. Oh, so he is older than you. 

“You’re still in college, right?” You check with him, causing him to nod. Wasn’t he supposed to graduate before you? Well, it depends at what age he entered university. As if he can read your mind, or simply just sees you thinking, he speaks up.

“I had to take a year off, because my mom got sick. I took care for her.” He tells you, surprising you. Your eyes widen and mouth gapes open at the new information. Is he always this opened about his personal life? 

“I’m so sorry to hear that.” You tell him sadly, pouting slightly at him.

“You don’t have to feel sorry, she’s fine now.” He smiles, touched by your empathy. 

You smile back, glad to hear his mom isn’t sick anymore even though you don’t know her. You don’t know Jimin at all as well, but it still caused you to breathe in relief from his information about his mother’s health. 

When you swallow the last bite of the cupcake, your milkshake glasses empty, you sigh in content as you thank Jimin again for paying all of it. He assures you It’s fine and not a big deal as he did previously before he speaks up again. 

“Come on, I have something to show you.” He says, standing up as you do the same.

You don’t feel even a hint of nervousness as in the beginning, excitement replacing it instead as you both walk out of the coffee shop, telling him something about you because once again, he tells you to do it.

“That’s so unfair!” You exclaim, laughing as Jimin scores another point, throwing the basketball ball into the cage smoothly without touching its construction or web. 

He turns around with amused smirk, obviously proud at his another win. “It’s fair, I wasn’t cheating.” He tells you with grin which you rolled your eyes at, before you grin at him again. 

You’re surprised how easy is to hang out with Jimin. You were pleasingly surprised how open he really is. Someone would have thought that he wouldn't share too much of his personal life, but he already told you he is from Busan and came to Seoul to attend one of the universities. But you’re still slightly worried that he shared so much information with you, causing you to wonder if he tells it to everyone. It’s not very safe, but you appreciate it nevertheless. Another thing you were quick to notice is, that he is very attentive. When you were talking about yourself, as he asked, he listened to carefully every word you have said. He nodded along even the most boring thing you probably told him, smiling at you and asking you more questions. He looked really invested in whatever you have told him. Maybe it’s all an act, and he’s just doing his job. But the more time you spend with him, you doubt it. 

That guy even showed you the right way to the bus station, so you wouldn’t get lost again. 

“So, Y/N, do you have a boyfriend?” 

You almost choke on your coke, once you both sit down to rest a bit. “Does it look like I have one?” You mutter, adverting your eyes to him before you look away quickly. 

“I don’t know, that’s why I am asking.” He shrugs, answering your question with easy and soft tone. 

“No, I don’t,” You answer, as if it isn’t obvious. If you had a boyfriend, Jiyoo wouldn't probably book you a freaking tour guide. You’re so lonely, isn’t is obvious? Can’t he see how awkward you were in his presence? Luckily, you’re not as awkward as you were in the beginning but that’s only because of Jimin’s personality. “What about you?” You ask him, looking up at him once again. 

You’re guessing he probably has someone. How can he not? He has all the good qualities, at least that’s what you think from the hour spent with him. He could be totally different person in his personal life – you still have this on your mind. You’re not a person who easily trusts someone, so naturally, you’ve doubts. But would be his someone comfortable with him doing this job?

“No,” He lowly chuckles, looking down to his plastic cup of coke, before looking back at you. There is a question in your eyes which he probably sees, when he even explains himself. “I don’t really have time to have a girlfriend.” 

You don’t know what possesses you, but you feel the rush of joy when he says that and disappointment right after. Fuck, are you getting soft for him? You’ve never felt about anyone like this – at least not about anyone you know for one hour. This is dangerous game to play, not when you heard his terrific stories about women violating the rules and his personal space. 

You spent at the game arcade a good hour, ending with Jimin paying for all of it. Again. He told you they all pay, something he forgot to mention the first time. 

You’re sad to hear, that your little adventure to Jimin is coming to an end, when you notice it’s the last hour you’re able to spend with him. When you see the time, you can’t but bite your lip to prevent a small pout appear on your lips. You notice Jiyoo’s message and your sadness is replaced with annoyance, although, you’re not angry at her. 

from: jiyoo

okayyy, you're not home so I guess you are still with him???? 

I'm sorry but I think you needed this

also jimin is cute isn't he 

You don’t admit it, but you’re thankful for this. It’s nice to spend your time in Jimin’s presence, causing you to think that you should spend more time outside rather than staying in home, wrapped in your blanket while watching k-dramas. That’s still what you will do anyway, but you’re already thinking about balancing it with healthy amount of time being outside. 

“Are you sad, Y/N?” Jimin asks, once there is silence filling the air between you, while you take walk alongside of Han River. There are a lot of couples sitting on the benches, hugging and cuddling each other. You scrunch your nose at the big amount of PDA, causing Jimin to laugh at you once he notices it. 

“Ah, no,” You shake your head, lying straight through you teeth. You would be pathetic if you would tell him that you’re indeed, sad. “This is just nice. I don’t get to have such a fun day too often, if ever to be honest. I’m too busy...” You trail off, not wanting to continue about how pathetic your life really is. 

“You should still relax,” Jimin says softly, his brows lightly furrowed as he stares at the river.  “When was the last time you got drunk? Or just relaxed and did something nice for yourself?” He asks, adverting his eyes on you again. 

“Hmm, last night.” You tell him, causing him to raise his brows in surprise. 

“Really? What did you do?” He asks, once again – the interest in his voice present. 

“I ate some junk food and watched Netflix.” You shrug, causing him to snort. 

“That’s not what I meant.” 

“I don’t get drunk at home. It makes me feel lonely and like an alcoholic.” You tell him honestly, remembering the last time you were home alone, Jiyoo visiting her parents that time. Thinking it would be a great idea to open one soju bottle, but then you opened another and another. You even lost count of how many bottles you drunk, the only thing you remember how you were a crying mess. 

Avoiding Jimin eyes, you still look at him to find him staring at you. And there it is – a look of pity adoring his handsome face. 

“Let’s go for a drink.” He says suddenly, causing you to stop as you gape at him. 

“But you’re not suppose to–” Remembering one of the rules, Jimin cuts you off.

“Doesn’t matter, come on.” He doesn't let you protest, grabbing your wrist with his warm hand. It feels nice and soft against your skin, causing you to blush.

He doesn't let go of your hand until you both stand in front of some bar lightened up with purplish colour. Sitting down, he asks you what you want and when you give him a shrug, still look of surprise visible on your face, he orders soju. 

“Are you hungry?” He asks, checking his phone before he puts it back to his pocket.

Maybe you would be, if your stomach wouldn’t be so shrunken. There is nervousness, excitement and curiousness washing over you every few seconds, an awful mix to even let you think about food. So with a soft smile, you shake your hand and bow to waitress who brings you soju. 

“Can’t you get in trouble for doing this?” You ask, once you take the second shot. Jimin acts like this is not weird at all, like it’s totally not against the rules. But somehow, he ignores it until you ask him straightforwardly. 

“Why do you care so much?” It doesn’t come as bitter from his mouth, instead he grins at you. 

“I’m not worth the trouble, Jimin.” You tell him honestly, watching him gulp the third shot. He licks soju off his lips as he brushes his fingers through his hair, showing you his forehead for a brief moment. He sure does look cute and hot with his current hairstyle, you can’t imagine him having a different one where he shows his forehead.

“Come on, drink up. I’m one shot ahead of you.” He says instead, ignoring you for the first time. 

“Are you trying to get me drunk?” You ask him, narrowing your eyes at him. He chuckles, but it doesn’t come as sweetly as previously, a low sound leaving his lips. 

“No, I’m trying to get you relax. It’s up to you how many shots it will have to take to let you loosen up.” He says mischievously, causing you to roll your eyes but you still grin at him, taking the third shot.

It’s not until the, whatever shot you’re about to take since you lost count, you notice the time. 

“Shit, our time is already up.” You tell him, causing Jimin to look across the table to the time on your phone. 

Yeah, your time ended like three hours ago. Jimin thinks and giggles at you causing you to look at him. Jimin’s cheeks are flushed and they resembles to you as well. You’re both tipsy but not that drunk. 

“Don’t worry about it.” He waves his hand at you, motioning for you to let it go but you frown instead. 

“But–”

“Y/N, stop thinking about it. I’m spending some time with you, in my free time because I want to.” He says, your breath hitching in your throat.

“Are you doing this with all the girls?” You ask him, frowning at him again. This time he frowns at you, not liking the way it sounded from your mouth. 

“No, I don’t.” He answers simply but doesn’t give you any explanation. 

You don’t know how to feel about it. Should you be happy that he’s spending his free time with you? The time he’s not getting paid anymore? Because once those words left past his lips, your heart picked up its pace and you panicked. So you took another shot right after, your nose scrunched at the taste. 

“Okay, I think you’ve had enough.” He tells you, once he notices the grimace you just made.

“You wanted me to relax!” You exclaim, reaching for the bottle and what’s left in there, but Jimin snatches it just in time. 

“But you’re relaxed.” He says, drinking it instead as you glare at him. He only laughs at your expression, causing you to do the same. You can’t be angry nor annoyed with him. 

When he pays for all of it, causing you to have a small argument about who’s paying, which of course Jimin won, you walk out of the bar to be met with cold air and rain. You hug yourself almost immediately as he does the same, the goosebumps rising on his neck. 

“Fuck.” Jimin curses for the first time that he’s been with you, eyeing the rain. You’ve the same reaction as him, not even surprised by his sudden curse. There is no way you both have an umbrella and you both will be drenched in rain when you step out from under the roof. 

“My place is near, I’ll call you a cab there.” He says, thinking out loudly. You ignore the way you heart jumps at the ‘my place’, meaning he’s inviting you over. 

“I can call a cab right now.” You tell him anyway, already pulling out your phone but Jimin grabs your wrist, stopping you. 

“It’s cold. You’ll warm yourself a bit and then you can go home. I wouldn’t want you to be sick. It was my idea to go to the bar, so please, let me take care of you.” He says, his eyes sparkling in the daylight and sighing, you know he won. 

The idea of you coming to his place seems inappropriate but you can’t help, but nod at him as he gives you a winning grin. 

It probably wasn’t Jimin’s best and smartest idea to run to his place without any umbrella, causing the both of you to be wet by the rain, dripping on your clothes wetting your hair as well. You don’t notice Jimin’s place too much, too occupied by taking off your shoes. But once you do, you’re surprised how tidy it all looks. It’s small, one of the smaller apartments, but it still looks welcoming. 

“I’ll make us some tea,” Jimin says, taking off his sweatshirt as you’re watching him, revealing his white t-shirt which rides up, giving you a glimpse of his slightly tan skin and v-line. Gulping, you look away, noticing a small frame laying on the small commode in the entrance. He’s hugging older woman, who smiles widely and after a few seconds studying that picture you assume, it’s his mother. “Are you wet too much?” He asks, his tone innocent and you feel guilty when you start coughing, thinking about something else. 

He seems to catch on you quickly, his lips stretching to a huge grin as he shakes his head at you. “Y-yes, but it’s fine.” You wave him off, not wanting to be even bigger burden than you already are. 

But of course, Jimin has some other plans. “Nonsense, I’ll give you some clothes you can change yourself into. You’ll get sick if you will stay in those drenched clothes, come on.”

He’s right and you feel uncomfortable in those clothes ever since the first drops fell on you. Your clothes are sticking to your skin, causing you to uncomfortable shift on your spot every now and then. That’s why you don’t protest, simply trailing behind Jimin. 

A fresh smell of mint is present in his apartment, probably caused by the round diffuser in the corner of his living room. He leads you to his bedroom, which is small, pretty similar to yours with size. His double bed is taking almost all the space in his room, causing only his wardrobe fit in his room. There is nothing too much to notice, other than some clothes hung on the end of the bed and simple lamp on his nightstand. 

“Sorry, it’s a mess in here. Didn’t think I would have someone over.” He apologises as he opens his wardrobe and starts pulling out some clothes for you to wear. 

“I thought you live in dorms.” You think out loud, wandering your eyes to his window. A nice view of buildings can be seen but other than that, it’s nothing special but still nicer than your view. 

“They pay me well, so I thought about living on my own.” He explains, handing you some of his clothes. 

“Thank you,” You smile, taking it from him. “Aren’t you lonely alone?” You ask him. 

Jiyoo is annoying you most of the time, but you can’t imagine living alone. At least not this moment. It’s nice having someone home, someone you can always talk to and knock on their door, knowing they’re just in the other room. And Jimin sees like a very social person, that’s why you’re surprised by him living alone. 

“Funny for you to mention that, because yes, I get lonely. But luckily, I have this job so I get to spent some time with my clients, also I hang out with my friends a lot and if not, I’m usually studying.” He answers with so much ease, causing you to be slightly jealous about how well he manages the loneliness. 

“Can I ask you something?” You ask him, looking at him through your lashes as he nods. “Why did you invite me over? And why did you spent your free time with me? You could've just left after those two and half hours.” You ask him what’s been bothering you ever since he proposed those drinks. 

He chuckles and looks down for a second, before giving you all of his attention. “I saw how lonely you are.” You’re surprised when he says it so straightforwardly, causing you to feel embarrassed. He noticed it even though he didn’t know you? He still doesn’t, but he could catch a glimpse of your personality.

“So, it’s just because you feel sorry for me?” You frown, crossing your arms over your chest watching his eyes widen but you don’t budge. You actually feel offended by that, although, you know he’s right. You are lonely. And he showed you today, that you don’t have to be. All you have to do is to go out whenever Jiyoo asks you, and find new friends. But it doesn’t change the fact that you mostly feel offended, because he’s doing this because he pities you. You don’t want anyone to feel pity about you.

“No!” Jimin says immediately, his eyes still widened as he dryly swallows. “That’s not why, I swear! I think you reminded me of me, when I get home and there’s no one. It’s just me and I get lonely too much sometimes. And I actually like your personality.” He says, smiling little bit at the end.

You snort at that jokingly, but still feeling satisfied with his answer – that is, if he’s telling the truth. But the more you see the warmth and kindness in his eyes, you start to have the feeling that he’s telling you the truth. “Thank you.” You almost whisper, your smile disappearing and honesty filling your face instead.

He smiles, so georgeously, that you bite the inside of your cheek to prevent to react in some other way. “Now go to change or you’ll get sick.” He says, shooing you with his hands and you laugh, while he shows you the bathroom you can change in.

It’s small and minimalistic, but still clean which is slightly weird for a guy. But you don’t want to have some stereotypical thoughts, so you just settle in with the thought that Jimin is neat and orderly. When you are done, Jimin is already changed waiting for you on his small sofa with two cups of what seems like a tea.

“Sit down.” He says, but instead of coming it like an order, it sounds sweet and pleading. So you do, plopping yourself next to him, your knees almost brushing because his sofa is small, suitable for only two people.

Reaching for the tea, you tell him soft ‘thank you’ which he only smiles at, grabbing his own. The smell of mint fills your nose once again, but this time it’s coming from the tea. Blowing some air into it to make it not so hot, you take a careful sip from it, moaning at the taste of it. It’s minty but he added a sugar into it, making it taste fresh and sweet. It constantly warms you up. Sitting down on his sofa, staring at the small frames of him and his family, Jimin sitting next to you, the guy your friend booked for you to give you a tour of Seoul – it’s almost unbelievable what happened today. It’s ridiculous you’re at his place right now, but you feel excited about it although, you shouldn’t. A chuckle leaves your mouth while Jimin gazes at you with the question in his eyes.

“Isn’t this just so weird and funny at the same time?” You ask him, chuckling once again once you look at him. The guy who has his picture on the website, the picture you admired – and hundreds of girls – is now sitting next to you. Not only that, but he even took you to his home and borrowed you his clothes, which feels softly against your skin and the smell reminds you of flowers, caused by his fabric softener.

“What do you mean?” He asks, cocking his head at you once he puts down the tea. He turns to you, comfortably laying against his plushy sofa. It’s small but very comfortable and your ass feels like in heaven.

“Well, just look at how this day turned out.” You say, his eyes crinkling as he laughs at that. He knows what you’re talking about and he nods, agreeing with you.

“Actually, I like how it turned out.” He speaks up after a moment of silence, his eyes settling on you. Your whole body shivers once he looks so honest and serious as he says it.

“You are?” It’s pathetic to ask, but you still do with a little voice looking at him with your doe eyes and lips half opened. You wish you could read Jimin’s thoughts, but he’s very opened, reacting straight away with a gentle smile.

He doesn’t say anything, his eyes wandering on your face and although, you do feel slightly nervous under his intense gaze, you don’t budge and instead do the same to him. You watch him opening his mouth, teeth nibbling on his plump bottom lip before he licks them, just like he did when he took a bite from the cupcake he bought you. Dryly swallowing, you watch the movement not able to look away. The corners of his mouth curls upwards in faint smirk, an act of confidence when he sees your observant eyes. His hair is parted in the middle, showing you a different vibe than when you met him. He looks almost devilish, the cute boy you saw hidden somewhere under it. 

“Y/N,” He drawls, looking at you through his hooded eyes shifting from your eyes to your lips. You blink at him as you feel your heart somewhere in your throat, wondering what is he thinking of. Why is he looking at you like that? He has a weird look on his face, almost as pleading you for something. He watches you with hunger but he stays put, not moving an inch closer to you. “Can I kiss you?” He asks so softly, that your heart melts before you hear your heart drumming in your ears. 

“W-what?” You’re dumbass. You always knew it but you can’t help but ask him, not believing your own ears. He surely didn’t say that. Jimin doesn’t react with chuckle like he usually does, instead he leaves his eyes fixed on you.

“Can I kiss you?” If he feels self-conscious, he doesn’t let it show as he is confidently staring at you. 

Jimin wants to kiss you? This surely isn’t real. You never got the vibe that he sees you more than just a woman that her friend booked him. And he was the same to you, even though you weren’t the one wanting his services. Yes, he caught your eyes immediately and his plushy lips, gosh, you wanted to kiss them from the first moment. It’s that one detail on his face that catches everyone’s attention and you wonder how they taste like. Are they soft as they look? Shakily, you take a breath straightening yourself. 

“Yes.” You answer, regretting it as soon as it leaves your mouth when Jimin doesn’t move. You thought he would launch at you, taking the chance and kiss you quickly.

But you’re proved wrong when he takes his time, his hand lightly touching your cheek, moving to your cheekbone before he tucks a strand of hair behind your ear. He cups your face with his one hand, scooting closer to you as he brushes his thumb against your skin. “Come here.” He mumbles softly.

You move your body into action right after his words, maybe too eagerly but you can’t help it. You scoot closer to him, so close that he grabs you by your hips and puts you on his lap, causing you to yelp in surprise. 

“Is this fine?” He asks, shifting on his spot to make himself and you more comfortable. Biting your lip to prevent a whimper coming out of your mouth, when your crotches brush against each other, you look at him causing him to suck in breath. 

“Yes,” You nod, hastily wrapping your arms around his neck. “Is this okay?” You ask him this time, wishing you could be confident. Unfortunately, it’s been a long time since you were this close to another man. More accurately, two years. 

Two years ago, you got your heart broken by a dumbass that thought you’re boring and that he wants someone who can enjoy themselves more. He didn’t say that when he fucked you and you had to fake your orgasm. Your relationship became unnatural and fake. Rather than being heartbroken because of your long relationship, you were more hurt by the insults. He disappointed you because you never thought he would be able to say such a hurtful things to you. 

“I’m going to kiss you right now.” Jimin cuts off your unwanted thoughts by cupping your face into his both arms. Fortunately for you, your awful unappreciative ex is long forgotten when Jimin gives you a smile.

You’re so close to him that you can smell his fabric softener mixed with his faint cologne, suddenly making it feel like the best scent in the whole world. He smells nice, that’s a good thing. 

“Kiss me, Jimin.” You whisper, causing him to smile widely showing you his white teeth before he dives in. Before you can proper register his closed eyes, you do the same as you feel the softest touch of his lips. 

He kisses your lips a few times, a faint smell of soju on his tongue, before he pulls away. Opening your eyes, you’re met with his shining eyes and warm smile. You blink feeling your lips tingle and you push the urge to touch them away. You wouldn’t even have time to when he dives again, this time moving your lips against him, putting more pressure. Your fingers tangle into the back of his head, grabbing his hair as your hold on him tightens. Your skin feels hot, just from the single making out but you can’t make yourself stop and neither does Jimin, when he grabs your thighs, gripping them tightly in his hands. A moan slips out of your mouth, right into his mouth and you hear him chuckle against your lips. You kiss for a few seconds before you both pull away, having to catch a breath.

And again, when you open your eyes you’re met with Jimin’s subtle eyes and smiles. His thumb graces over your bottom lip, which is swollen by all the kissing. You don’t know what takes over you, but you dive to kiss him first, wanting to feel his lips against. No one ever kissed you this good and your mind is clouded with the urge to feel him again. 

“I think we should stop.” Jimin says smoothly, causing you to stop and gape at him embarrassingly. Fuck, maybe he thinks you’re an awful kisser. Or he didn’t like it so he just wants to stop. 

“O-oh, okay,” You mumble, obviously embarrassed and caught off guard by his rejection. “Um, I should call the cap.” You tell him without looking at him, even though you feel his eyes set on you. Wanting to get off from his lap, and save yourself from the embarrassment, you’re surprised when his arms hug your waist holding you tightly not letting you go. 

“Y/N.. It’s not like I don’t want to kiss you because, shit, I really want to.” He tells you with saddened gaze after seeing your reaction. You’re like an open book for him, which is funny, because he met you just couple of hours ago. And maybe you’re just easy to read. 

“No, it’s okay.. I got it.” You don’t but you want to leave and forget that this ever happened. Not when you feel so freaking embarrassed for wanting to kiss him again. One time you’re finally confident to do the first move, you’re rejected which hurts your ego more than you’re willing to admit. 

Jimin doesn’t let you go, holding you even tighter when you squirm in his lap and he bites his lip. “I can’t kiss you again because I can’t promise you what would happen after.” He says and you frown, cocking your head at him in confusion. What the hell is he aiming at? 

When he sees your oblivious face, he looks away for a moment before he bucks his groin into yours causing you to gasp. Your panties already stick to your heat, ever since he kissed you and grabbed you tightly. Maybe that’s why you initiated the kiss again, your body filled with lust causing you to feel more confident than usual. And when you feel the slight tent in his sweatpants that he changed himself into, the realisation hits your face. Because you’re not the only one who feels the lust. 

“Are you hard?” You ask just in case you got this all wrong. 

“I’m getting there.” He chuckles, massaging your hips with his fingers.

“I want to kiss you.” You’ve no idea where this shameless is coming from, but you don’t mind it. 

“I want to kiss you too.” He tells you truthfully. 

“Then kiss me. What are you waiting for?” You chuckle, not understanding why he is holding back. 

You can feel the darkened gaze as you say those words but it disappears when he looks away with sigh. “Y/N, I don’t think...” He trails off, not being able to continue. 

This causes you to frown at him and you grow irritated with him because he was the one who kissed you. He was the one who wanted to touch and kiss you. Why is he suddenly backing off? Because he thinks he won’t be able to stop?

And that’s exactly what he tells you, not easing your deep frown.

“I don’t want you to stop.” You tell him confidently, eyes boring into his showing him your other side. 

“I don’t want you to regret this..” He says, the concern evident on his voice as he still keeps touching you, his fingers moving against your hips in comfort way. 

“I won’t.” It comes right after you hear him, causing him to grin as he lightly shakes his head at your eagerness. 

It takes him three seconds to kiss you again, this time with much more rush and intensity, hands on your hips gripping them so tight that it starts to hurt but you don’t mind. He bites into your lower lip, pulling it slightly before kissing you so hungrily that you barely catch a breath between his kisses. Gripping his shoulders, you mindlessly buck your hips into his, feeling the small tent in his sweatpants. He sighs into your lips, before trailing kisses down your cheek, chin and then neck. You shamelessly moan while Jimin brings out your wild side you never thought you have. He makes you feel so many new emotions and you’re scared but eager to feel more at the same time. When he comes back to kissing your abused lips, this time he involves his tongue and you welcome him, kissing him back as much as you can while grinding your hips into his. He groans, his length visibly hardening as you can feel it and you shamelessly curse a low ‘fuck’. 

“I think I’m gonna cum in my pants.” He says breathlessly, this time you’re the one who kisses his neck, sucking his skin there. You feel proud – proud to know that you’re having that effect on him.

Jimin probably doesn’t know, but your panties are sticking to your heat, the wetness between your legs becoming uncomfortable and arousing at the same time. You’re caught off guard when you're being lifted in the air, Jimin holding you tightly in his arms, not struggling with your weight at all. It surprises you because despite of his height, which isn't actually that short, he is quite strong. It looks like he is working out and takes care of himself well. 

“Where are we going?” You ask breathlessly, your arms secured around his neck fearing he might drop you, although his hold on you is tight and strong. Even you know he wouldn't drop you, at least not intentionally. 

“I’m not gonna fuck you on my sofa.” He chuckles, your heat clenching at the dirty words. 

He struggles with opening the door while still holding you, but he manages to open it after all, causing you to giggle at that which he only playfully rolls his eyes.

The fresh smell of his sheet is filling his bedroom, as he carefully places you on his bed. He is quick to crawl to you before he hovers you, showering you with his sweet and intense kisses all over your face, trailing down your jaw, neck and then ending at the collarbones. You arch your back, wanting to feel him more. Although, his kisses are nice, you need more. This is not enough to satisfy the lust in the pit of your stomach and Jimin probably feels the same, when you look down noticing his pretty much hard length. 

“So impatient...” He mumbles against your skin and you annoyingly groan at him. He’s teasing you, you’re of that when you hear a smirk in his voice. 

“Jimin, please,” You plead him, looking into his dark eyes, sparkling with mischief and lust. 

“Please what?” He smirks, holding himself at the sides of your head, causing the mattress to dip. 

“Are you seriously doing that?” You grumble, causing him to laugh while he slightly throws his head back. 

“Hmmm... what?” He hums, fingers gracing over your exposed collarbones and your breath hitch at the feeling of the soft touch.

“Jimin,” You speak up, while he hums letting you know he’s listening but still carries on with slowly tracing your skin. “Fuck me.” 

His eyes find yours, the smirk disappearing from his lips and lust overtakes his features. He is sure his cock just twitched and he growls, before he kisses you hungrily. Moaning into his lips, you feel his hands under your t-shirt, or more like Jimin’s which he borrowed you, gripping and touching your skin there.

“Can I take it off?” He asks, fingers fidgeting with the hem of his shirt which you’re wearing and you eagerly nod, already taking it off by yourself. He chuckles, the sound so beautiful that you chuckle as well before his eyes snap at your chest.

He is met with your black lace bra, pushing up your breasts perfectly. Biting his lips, he questions you, glancing between you and the bra. You nod, giving him permission to take it off as well and he is quick to move, his hands skilfully taking it off without struggle. You raise your brow at him and he only shrugs with a grin, not commenting it. Once he takes your bra, he holds himself not to stare at your naked and exposed breasts, but he is a man with current hard on which is almost uncomfortable so naturally, he does look and his breath hitches. He has seen breasts, a nice ones. And maybe it’s because he liked you from the very beginning, finding you attractive, but he thinks you’ve the most beautiful breasts. The perfect size with hardened nipples which only turns him on even more, his cock twitching the proof of it. But he doesn’t say that to you, scared that you would find his thoughts weird and probably running away. But he doesn’t know that there is anything that would lead you to run away. Not when the most beautiful man is hovering over you, staring with you so much hunger and lust that you’ve never felt this way. You’ve never seen anyone wanting you this much. 

Before you can think about how perfect Jimin is and all the incredible emotions he makes you feel, you hear him latching onto your right nipple, tongue circling around the sensitive bud causing you to gasp. He grabs your other unoccupied breast, moulding it into his palm. He starts to suck your nipple, your his bucking up again but this time he doesn’t let you, pressing his one hand on your bone hip to pull you down. He does the same to your other breast, causing you to whimper every now and then under his touch, your heat clenching as you feel more spilling out. When Jimin pecks your two breasts, he pulls away with his lips being more swollen than usually, with satisfied smirk. You’re panting watching Jimin with hooded eyes. Fuck, you almost came just from his mouth on your breasts. 

“Can I continue?” He asks, his fingers playing with the hem of his sweatpants that you’re wearing. Gulping, you eagerly nod not trusting your voice. However, Jimin isn’t satisfied with that and he leans down to peck your lips, but he doesn’t pull away, his lips inches from yours. “Tell me.” His breath fans your mouth, causing you to bite into your lower lip.

Letting go, you lick your lips while Jimin eyes the movement. “Please, continue.” You whisper while Jimin smiles, hooking his fingers under the hem of sweatpants and pulling them down, surprising you when he pulls down your panties as well. You weren’t expecting that and you let out a yelp of surprise.

But the first thing that comes to your mind isn’t about how nervous you might be. This is first time Jimin sees you down there. What if he thinks he you’re not pretty down there? What if you stink down there or he simply doesn’t find your smell pleasing? But even that isn’t the first thing to occur your mind. It’s – thank god I shaved this morning. You snort at your thoughts causing to Jimin look up, gazing at you questioningly. 

“Continue.” You tell him instead, trying to hide your smile. He frowns in confusion but chuckles after, not questioning you. Instead, he spreads your legs and you self-consciously go to close them but Jimin doesn’t have any of it. He stops you before you can close them, glancing at you with warm eyes. 

“Do you trust me?” He asks, the question catching you off guard. And the lust behind his eyes disappear for a moment, kindness and caring replacing it. 

“Of course I do,” You tell him softly. “I just... it’s been a while since I, you know, have been intimate with someone and...” You trail off finding it difficult to find the right words to properly explain yourself. 

“Hey, I get it. I haven’t been with anyone in months.” He admits, causing your eyes to widen. That’s not possible. There is no way he isn’t having sex with anyone. Just look at him. He is perfect inside and out. 

“You’re lying.” You mutter. 

“I am not,” He says, frowning at you. He doesn’t like the fact you think he is lying. “You don’t trust me?” He asks, sounding so small suddenly. The confident and cocky Jimin leaving for a moment. 

“It’s not like I don’t trust me,” You speak up, trying to defend yourself when you see the hurt on his face. “It’s just hard to believe.”

“What is hard to believe? That I’m not having sex with anyone?” He almost chuckles at that, but the frown is still present on his features. 

“Yeah, isn’t is obvious?” You ask but he only cocks his head, not really understanding you. It’s funny in a weird way, because he sits between your legs, your wet cunt on display in front of him and here he is, having a conversation with you. “Jimin look at you. You’re attractive, not only outside but inside as well. Women must be swooning over you.”

“They do,” He admits, grinning at that almost proudly but you know it’s all an act, a joke from his side when there is nothing just gentle smile on his lips. “But that doesn’t mean I’m using that to my profit.” He points out and you start to feel like an idiot. 

“Fuck, I know, I didn’t mean it like that. I just thought... you know what I’m trying to say.” Sighing, you frustratedly hide your face into your palms.

A gentle touch pulls away your hands, Jimin’s eyes meeting yours. They’re so soft and nice, not a single hint of frown in them. 

“Y/N, I could say the same thing about you,” He speaks up, releasing a sigh. You’re the one who is confused right now and before you can question it, he continues. “You’re so beautiful, but not only that. You’re funny and so interesting to listen to and just spend the time with. I’ve never felt like this about anyone. That’s why I invited you here, not because I wanted to have a sex with you. Don’t get me wrong, I do want that because look at you. You’re gorgeous. But I invited you because I wasn’t ready to let you go and not to see you anymore. I wanted to spent more time with you, even if it meant us sitting awkwardly next to each other and having nothing to talk about. But that wouldn’t be the case, because we clicked off almost immediately. So, I’m the one who is surprised you don’t have anyone.” 

You’re blushing throughout the whole time he talks, your heart hammering so fast and loud that you’re scared he might be hearing it. “Are you serious?” You ask him quietly.

“Dead serious,” He looks straight into your eyes, keeping his gaze fixed on you to let you know, that he really is serious.”I wouldn’t lie to you.” 

Your heart warms at that, natural smile appearing on your lips before you can properly register it. He strokes your knees, moving down your thighs slowly opening your legs more. He doesn’t look between them, his eyes solely focused on you as he waits for your permission, and when you nod while biting your lip, he drops his eyes with almost too much difficulty. Your glistening heat is still on full display to him and his mouth drops open before he leans down to lay comfortably between your legs. Plopping yourself on your elbows you look down at him, his mop of hair right in the middle, making you torn between finding it incredibly arousing or ridiculously funny. 

“What are you doing?” You ask him instead, even though you have an idea what he is about to do. And he answers you with licking a long stripe against your cunt, collecting your wetness and ending at your clit, which he pecks as soon as he swallows your wetness. You gasp, your elbows not being able to hold you anymore and your back collides with his soft mattress. 

He doesn’t stop, nor you want him to. Not when he repeats the whole process a few times before he basically makes out with your cunt. Dirty sounds of slurping and kissing fills his small bedroom, causing you to blush. You hope there aren’t too thin walls but not that you care when he starts to flicker his tongue over your clit, making you to see stars. Your fingers naturally sink into his dark hair as you pull them harshly when he enters you with his tongue. 

“Jimin... fuck,” You moan out shamelessly, all the shame and shyness you had before is long gone. He makes you like you know him for a long time and you completely forget the fact that you just me him today. You don’t know whether that’s good or the actual opposite, because you should feel ashamed. But you don’t and your thoughts are forgotten yet again, when he starts suck and fucking your glistening hole with much pressure. 

You feel the familiar yet unknown knot in the pit of your stomach, knowing he’s bringing you to your edge. And you’re ready to take everything he has to give and when you start bucking your hips into his mouth, thighs clasped around his head while chanting his name, you’re taken aback when he pulls away.

He sits down, his whole chin and lips wet from your arousal but you can’t feel any embarrassment, not when he looks like a fucking God. “W-wha... I was close!” You stutter and end up with exclaiming frustratedly, the fire in you slowly fizzling out. 

But Jimin doesn’t feel sorry, not even when he sees your dark eyes watching him to wipe your wetness from his face with the back of his hand. “I want you to cum around my cock.” 

Gasping, you’re caught off guard by his dirty tongue, surprising you that the sweet boy you’ve spent you day with is absolute devil between the sheets. He brings different aura and light into the room. Not letting his words to affect you that much, you close your mouth and playful smirk appears instead.

“Then what are you waiting for?” You ask, stretching your legs more so he can look at the mess between your legs. A mess which is all for him and he knows it, that’s why he growls before he takes off his shirt. 

Abs. It’s the first thing you notice way before he even takes the shirt over his head. Your little assumption about him working out was right and his body is nice. Way nicer for a girl like you. But you don’t let your self-conscious to get involved, not when Jimin is looking you that way. Like he wants to destroy you. A deep v-line disappears in his sweatpants, where his huge bulge is hidden behind the material. Sitting down, you want to be the one who takes him out of those, you’re met with his slightly surprised face and you motion for him to lay on your previous spot. And eventually he does, but not before he stares at you for a few seconds. 

Slowly, you palm his knees seeing his muscular thighs clenching under his sweatpants, moving up to them. They’re firm under your hold, clenching and unclenching every now and then. You watch him carefully, waiting for any reaction from him but other than occasional thighs shifting he doesn’t react too much. He’s holding himself back or you’re just doing a shitty job of making him feel good. So you decide to palm his firm bulge. It’s bigger than your palm and you have to move your hand more to touch all of it.

“Don’t tease.” He breaths out, finally reacting somehow. Looking up under your lashes he curses under your breath, seeing your eyes more darker from this angle. He is frowning and you smirk at that. He is frustrated.

But you feel playful tonight, the pleasing tingle between your legs appearing again, so you continue, ignoring him. Deciding not to wait, since you’re too eager and horny, you hook your fingers under his sweatpants and boxers at the same time like he did. His length springs free and as much as you want to admire him, you feel his eyes on you, so you decide to take the clothes off him first. And when you throw it somewhere behind you, you focus on his naked body sprawled in front of you. You’re both naked, admiring each other as you finally take a proper look at his manhood. You don’t have much to compare it with, other than you ex which you don’t really want to think about, and some porn you saw few months ago, but you know he has a good cock. He isn’t extremely long, just in the right size in a perfect curved angled, his head glistening with pre-cum. His girth seems to be thicker than average and it only confirms, when your hand doesn’t wrap around it fully.

Jimin gasps, mostly surprised by your sudden move and touch, his head thrown back with mouth opened, as you stroke him. “Shit, you’re quick.” He breathes out making you chuckle, a proudness washing over you. 

“Are you complaining?” You ask, a hint of confidence in your voice as you’re watching him while he has his eyes shut, enjoying your stroking. You never thought you could be so shameless, but here you are. 

“N-no, I’m just surprised.” He says with his usual light and innocent tone, his whole persona shifting back to the Jimin you met. Where is the devil you just saw a few minutes ago? 

“I am full of surprises.” You hum, causing his eyes to snap open as you lean down, tongue circling over his head, tasting him for the first time. It’s bitter and little bit salty, but it’s not that bad. Not too bad for you to pull away with disgusted face. 

“Fuck,” Another curse leaves his mouth as he keeps his eyes opened, looking straight at you. “I can’t wait to find them out.” He says shamelessly, his jaw prominent as the dark look in his eyes is back and it causes you to blush. Hoping he didn't see that, you take his head into your mouth, sucking it like a lollipop. Man, it’s been a long time since you’ve given a handjob, not talking about a blowjob but you probably do well, when Jimin curses again. 

It makes you proud and confident, seeing him falling apart in front of you, a weird feeling of dominance washing over you. So you decide to take another step, trying to take him into your mouth more. It’s difficult because he is thick, your jaw already hurting from the way you’re stretching as you slowly try to take him into your mouth. You can’t take all of him, when it becomes too much and your eyes sting with tears, a gag reflex coming. Before it can, you slide your mouth up before continuing right down, not letting yourself to take too much. As much as you would love to, you’re not ready to choke yourself on his cock. Jimin’s fingers find your hair just like your found his, when he was the one between your legs, causing you to moan when he pulls them. Groaning, he tries to lay down no to buck his hips up as you feel his cock twitch inside of your mouth. 

Continuing with your movements, your head bobbing so fast that you don’t even catch a breath, Jimin’s curses in form on your name resounding between his nonchalant wall colours. 

“Stop, stop, stop, fucking stop.” He tells you suddenly, pushing your head away, but still does it gently not to hurt you. 

You wipe the spit with your palm, wiping it into your naked thigh, Jimin whimpering at the sight. “What?” You ask him, seeing him breathing heavily as he lays back down, his hair sprawled across his beige sheets. His cock is still standing upward, screaming for attention and you’re very close to give it to him. 

“I almost came.” He mumbles, not looking at you and you almost have a difficulty to properly hear him, but you do, your lips stretching into a triumphant grin. He almost came? You’re that good? You can’t wait to tell Jiyoo. There is a silence between the two of you, his chest heaving as you are watching him but then it clicks. He is embarrassed as he hides the rosy cheeks from you and you can’t help but giggle. He frowns, finally looking at you. 

“Jimin, I almost came too. If you didn’t pull away, I would have cum.” You tell him through your giggles and Jimin can’t help but the slightest smile appears on his lips. 

He wants to tell you the reason he is embarrassed. It’s because he never felt something so intense and this hot towards anyone. No one made him cum just from a five minutes handjob and blowjob. He feels like he’s fifteen again and it embarrasses him. But when he sees nothing but relatability in you as you giggle, not making a big deal out of it, he doesn’t want to ruin it by talking this out. So instead, he sits down, pulling you by your hips closer to him. There is a sweat creating on both of your skins, but none of you care. You have to feel each other. And that’s exactly what you do when Jimin turns you around in swift motion, your back hitting his mattress again.

“I want to fuck you so so bad,” He almost whimpers into your neck, sucking your skin there while you throw your head back in ecstasy. Your nipples are perched up, rubbing against his chest, while his free hand grazes over the curve of your ass. “But I need to ask you – do you really want this?” He asks, pulling away with almost painful look. 

His caring and humble personality should warm your heart, and it does, but the hunger you feel for him is much stronger at the moment, your denied orgasm irritating you and making you even more eager. 

“Yes, yes, yes. Please Jimin, just fuck me.” You never beg. At least that’s what you thought, thinking about it as some kind of humiliation but you don’t care, putting all your previous opinions away.

“Fuck, okay.” He says, reaching for the nightstand beside his bed, with one leg on the floor while the other one stays on the mattress, causing it to dip under his weight. He rummages through the nightstand, the sound of things slamming against each other can be heard, but it doesn’t look like Jimin cares. You finally hear him shutting the drawer, a box of condoms in his hands. 

Raising your brows at him, you look at him causing him to sheepishly nod. “I have them just in case, I haven’t used them.” He answers, opening the box up. 

He is right. It’s a new box of condoms, unused, a foil protecting the box ends up somewhere on the floor while you watch him pulling out a condom. He’s quick to put it on as he makes himself comfortable between your legs.

“Is this okay?” He’s asking you about the position. Missionary position must seem boring but you want to see Jimin when he finally fucks you, and you’re sure he wants the same, so you nod pushing your hips up to emphasise your need. 

Chuckling, he breathes out a relaxed breath as you feel the tip of his cock nudging your sensitive clit. Whimpering, you grab his forearms which are beside your hips. He collects your wetness with the tip of his cock, trying to lubricate it for easer entering. And once he finally slowly pushes in, you bite your lip to prevent it from another whimper escaping your mouth. Your witness is helping him slide in easily, but you still feel the burn since it’s been a while you’ve been stretched this much. As Jimin slowly pushes in, inch by inch, he carefully eyes you in case he would hurt you, despite the long need to close his eyes and enjoy your tightness around him. 

Fuck, he feels like he is going to burst now. 

He fills you to the brim, his brows scrunching mimicking yours, as he waits. He stays there, letting you adjust as you slowly breath in and out. Nodding you nudge his arms, letting him know it’s okay to move. And he does, but not until plopping his hands at the sides of your head, causing you to grab his shoulder. Wrapping your legs around him causes you to feel him brush against your walls in a different way and you gasp. Jimin goes down to kiss you, his lips meeting yours shortly before he slowly pulls out just to push right back in. 

It’s slow and oddly romantic, letting you both adjust of the feeling of each other. You wish there wouldn’t be any plastic between you two, so you could feel him better, but maybe next time. If any next time will be. Not wanting to focus on these thoughts, you rather focus on the way Jimin starts picking up his pace, still eyeing you if you’re fine. When he sees nothing but lust in your eyes and moans spilling from your mouth, he clenches his jaw and starts to bucking his hips in animalistic speed. 

“You’re clenching me so tight,” Jimin groans, not stopping for a second as his eyes keep on locked on you. “You’re taking me so well.” He continues, causing you to clench around him, his face burrying into he crook of your neck.

You feel his hot breath on your skin, your bodies wet from sweat but none of you care, as you wrap your hands around his frame, your nails digging into the skin of his back. It’ll probably leave red marks, but you kind of hope it will. It will be a nice remainder of you for him. You let your hands room his back and even his perky ass, feeling how he is rutting into you with synchronised thrusts. 

“Fuck, Jimin.” You curse as he brushes past your g-spot, causing you to see the stars. You forgot you even have it in the first place. It’s like you’re having your first sex for the first time, just without all the unknowing feelings and uncomfortable burn you feel during the first time having sex. 

“You like my cock?” He asks through his teeth, the dirty words spilling from his mouth. “Tell me.” He urges you. 

“Yes, I like your cock so much.” 

People closer to you, would have never guessed you would say such a dirty words and even you are surprised by your shameless dirty talk. Suddenly, Jimin pulls out, the coming pleasure slowly leaving away, but it happens to fast when Jimin turns you around, your stomach laying against his crumpled sheets. He pulls you by your hips, your ass up as you feel him entering you again. He is fast, impatient to satisfy your both’s needs. He starts to buck his hips roughly into you, causing you to slipping him and he growls, before he grabs you harshly by your ass. You moan out, feeling a slap on your ass right after. You would never guessed Jimin is a spanking type, and neither you thought that about yourself, but you’re getting used to Jimin bringing your unknown desires. 

“I– close.” You manage to stutter, hoping he heard you and he probably did, when he slaps you again before he reaches down between your legs. Finding your clit, he pinches it couple of times and you feel the familiar knot, your ass bucking into his abdomen in desire to reach your end. 

“Come on, cum for me, baby.” 

Baby. 

Your heart twists in a weird way, a butterflies enveloping your body as you let out the biggest moan mixed with groan in a form on Jimin’s name, letting go. Your walls clench around his cock tightly, making it hard for him to fuck you fast. He fucks you through your orgasm, your face pressed into his pillow, probably smudging it from your mascara and make up. You’re getting too sensitive and you whimper, when he stills fucks into you. 

“W-wait, I’m close.” He manages to tell you, his own movements getting sloppy before he lets out a low groan, spilling himself into the condom. It’s the hottest sound you’ve ever heard and you naturally clench around him, causing him to stroke your ass. When he starts softening, he slowly pulls out causing both of you to hiss. 

He kisses you into your hair, before you don’t feel his warmth anymore. Turning yourself on the back, you look at the plain ceiling trying to catch your breath. You haven’t had sex too many times, but you’re sure, this is your best one. Jimin comes back with wetted cloth and familiar warm smile. He is still naked, his length back to its usual size which is still quite big, despite of it being in its natural state. Blushing, you look away when you catch yourself admiring his soft cock. If Jimin noticed it, he doesn’t let it show and crawls to you. He probably went to grab your the wetted cloth and dispose himself of the ruined condom. 

He kisses you, so softly as if it was your first kiss before he gently starts washing you. You blush, but Jimin only gives you a faint smirk and continues to wipe away your cum. So you enjoy his delicate hands and touch, and occasional handsome smile your way before he lays next to you, pulling you to his chest. 

It surprises you, but you welcome it with opened arms, finding it oddly calming and domestic. 

“Is it weird that I feel like I have known you for so long?” You ask quietly, filling the room which reeks of sweat, sex, your perfume and Jimin’s cologne. 

“I feel the same.” Jimin says softly, playing with your hair gently.

You’ve never had one night stand, is it even one night stand? Even when you first saw Jimin, you knew he is perfect, but you never thought you’d have sex with him. And it seems kind of funny and weird to meet him this certain way, because he was only supposed to be your tour guide. A tour guide you never booked and thought you need. The sudden realisation hits you and you pull away, sitting up from Jimin’s touch. But he stills find you, hand slowly caressing your lower back.

“What’s wrong?” He asks sweetly, continuing to caress your naked skin as if he hasn’t worship it enough. 

“Jimin, we broke the rules. You could get fired for this.” You tell him, looking at him while widened eyes while his eyes are focused on your back, before he calmly stares back at you. 

“So I’ll get fired, I don’t really care.” He shrugs and your mouth falls open by his unbothered state.

Doesn’t he need the money to pay the rent and college? He said it himself that this job pays well. Probably way better than some part-time job he could find. 

“But we, you, could get into a lot of troubles.” You point out, surprised by his calm behaviour. This just must babe surely important for him but now he's just acting as if it was nothing. 

“Technically, our meeting ended way before we even got here. I don’t think there's any trouble for the both of us, since we can do with our free time anything. The rules only applies when we’re working,” He shrugs, remaining his calm state. He pulls you by your arm, your body falling next to his as he kisses you into your hair. “And honestly, I don’t fucking care. As long as you let me take you out.” He says and you swear you stopped breathing. 

Did you hear him right? You’re frozen, barely blinking as you slowly look up at him. He bites the inside of his cheek anxiously, waiting for your response. 

“Out? You want to take me out? Like a... like a date?” You don’t want to assume anything, nor want to embarrass youself by asking him that, but you have to be sure you’re both on the same page. 

“Yes,” He answers in a heartbeat, confident with his answer. Your heart picks up its pace that never seemed to left in the first place. “I want to take you on a date. Would you like that?” He asks, suddenly looking so small, waiting for you reaction. 

He looks at you with doe eyes, and you can feel his heart beating against his chest aggressively. He’s nervous. You smile, not wanting him to feel that way. Not when you want to jump from the happiness. “Yes, I would like that very much.” You tell him, his lips stretching into a widest smile you’ve ever seen. He’s  enveloping you in a hug and showering you with many kisses, causing you to giggle from the ticklish feeling. 

“Ew, Jimin you stink.” You push him away, the smell of sweat and sex lingering on his skin. You’re sure you smell just like him. And you like it. 

“Alright, alright. I’m gonna take a shower, you wanna join?” He asks, sitting up while looking at you from behind his shoulder. 

“Hmmm, yeah. Let me just text Jiyoo.” You tell him and he nods, standing up completely shameless about his nudity and you admire his perky ass once more, before he disappears behind his bathroom’s door. 

Standing up yourself and putting on one of his shirts that ended up thrown on the floor, you hide your shivering body. It’s cold without Jimin. Slowly walking to the living room, you find your phone laying on Jimin’s coffee table. As soon as you unlock your phone, Jiyoo’s messages basically jump on you. 

from: jiyoo

where are you

omg you were supposed to be home like four hours ago 

seriously 

where the hell are you I am getting scared

y/n this is not funny

I'm sorry for doing that to you but please text me

I am scared something happened to you

if this is some prank you got me just text me

I am this 👌 close to call the police

to: jiyoo

calm down, I’m okay

Her message comes in a minute, meaning she probably was waiting for your message.

from: jiyoo

thank fucking god

where are you?????

to: jiyoo 

I’m with your friend ;)

You reply with a smirk on your lips, seeing a dots appearing on your screen right away. 

from: jiyoo

my friend?? who are you talking about?

you mean jimin?

y/n????!!!

But you don’t reply, locking your phone with a smirk still present on your face and putting it back onto its previous spot. You hear your phone vibrate with another messages, but you don’t bother to open them wanting Jiyoo to taste her own medicine. You know she’ll investigate you as soon as you come home, but for now, you just focus on one thing. You find the bathroom quickly, hearing the water flowing behind the door enough clue for you to know where it is. Stepping into his already steamed bathroom and already pulling the shirt off you, you step into the shower with Jimin. It’s tiny and you both barely fit there, but you both smile at each other. 

“You know I won’t keep my hands for myself seeing you like this.” He says, chuckling little bit at himself and you do the same. 

Your hands find his hard abs, which clench under your touch. “Who said I want you to keep them for yourself?” You ask with raised brow and Jimin smirks, already backing you into the wall, his body pressed against yours.

Who would have thought a tour guide site would find you your potential future boyfriend. You make a mental note to thank Jiyoo for that.

[kyotakumrau]

2020.09.27 Rolling Stone Japan - interview with SUGIZO - translation (selection)

SUGIZO talkes about how he met his friends and why was it important to him now to release a live album

Original text: Joe Yokomizo

Photos by Keiko Tanabe

Translation: kyotaku

SUGIZO is releasing the first live album in his solo career, 'LIVE IN TOKYO', on September 30th. This work delivers the two day birthday performance 'SUGIZO 聖誕半世紀祭～HALF CENTURY ANNIVERSARY FES.～' that was held last year on July 7th and August 2nd at Nakano Sunplaza, giving you a chance to not only enjoy the live atmosphere but also the magnificent collaboration with his sworn musician friends.

It's a masterpiece I'd love many people to listen to, but it might be surprising to people who only know SUGIZO from LUNA SEA and X JAPAN and not his solo work.

In this interview we will get to the bottom of it, discussing the live album, the foundations of SUGIZO's solo work and his music, and the history with the artists who joined the project.

ー It's the first time in your career you're releasing a live album, which is very unusual now that the video releases are so common. You were that happy with how those 2 days turned out?

I was planning to release a live album from before. I heard from my staff they wanted to release the material from this half century celebration, but because I've released live video works so many times I thought it's time to change my approach.

I feel that young people nowadays are not really familiar with live albums. These times we can easily watch live videos everywhere including YouTube. But back in our childhood the live album from the artist we were indulging in was a real prize. For me it was YMO, JAPAN and PiL. Miles Davids or Frank Zappa also had quite a few live releases. And, Deep Purple or Peter Framptom also had famous live albums, even as I wasn't influenced by them. With such artists, live albums in 70s and 80s were treated as extremely valuable. I have a lot of admiration for those times, so I was hoping to eventually be able do it myself.

－ I see. Before we talk about the content, I wanted to ask you when did you encounter the so called psychodelic trance music that is the foundation of your solo music?

In the mid 90s. First, I was really into hardcore techno or minimal techno in early 90s, speaking of the ambient world like The Orb or 808 STATE, I really love the scene of that time. And few years later, at the same time when I started my solo activity, European drum n bass or abstract hip hop were very popular, I was quite influenced by the club culture and music around then, and then naturally I gave myself to trance.

The first rave I went to see was Vision Quest in 2001, and from then I got even more into it. The feeling of life in the perfectly linked music and the flow of universe, like dancing with the rising sun and chilling in the afternoon, my instincts were telling me that people had a connection with this kind of music from the ancient times. Not the music from the cities, the music with roots in nature. Kind of primitive music. I found great value for music there.

◆Then they discuss JUNO REACTOR, learning what kind of rhythm feels good, how working with a South African percussion team Amampondo helped them grow spiritually, especially thanks to the drummer Mabi, SUGIZO's chase of the 'black groove' to finally understand East has its own good points; he can be proud as Japanese and SUGIZO's solo activity reflects everything he's learnt.

Next, Joe asks SUGIZO for a primer of his solo work, SUGIZO lists 'Misogi', 'FATIMA', 'DO-FUNK DANCE' and 'Lux Aeterna'◆

meeting Kyo（DIR EN GREY/sukekiyo)

－ Remarkably for each of two days you invited guest vocalists. All of them are musicians you're very familiar with, could you tell us first about how you got to know Kyo (from DIR EN GREY/sukekiyo)?

From the start I was close with some people they know and their staff members. So I went to see their show and we were introduced. It was surprisingly recently, like around 2005 or 2006.

－ What was your impression when you saw DIR EN GREY for the first time?

It was the first time I felt threatened by a younger band. I'm sorry for saying this, but I haven't felt threatened or impacted by any of the younger artists, within this genre. That's why I was quite surprised with how great they are. What they're expressing, their worldview are incredible. At that time I could feel that their performance or sound are not there yet, but I could already feel the intensity of what was pouring out of them, the endless possibilities.

I was especially looking at Kyo thinking 'he's a genius'. There's no theory or detailed reasoning with him. He's just doing things by instinct. But he's good with words, good at drawing, as an artist he can express himself in so many different ways. Then, when I met him in person he was just so pure and innocent, doesn't it seem like he's not greedy at all? So it was a shock of 'a genius like this exists?'.

－ It was Kyo who wrote the lyrics for your collaboration song 'Zessai', was it a request from you?

Yes. Thinking to sing the best it'd be better if that person writes the lyrics, and when I asked [Kyo] he happily did. When I sent him a 2nd stage Mix demo asking 'it will be like this, what do you think?', he already had the singing (melody) put in. And the lyrics have been done too, when I asked 'woah, that's the actual thing?', he replied 'yup, I've done them'. It's the same with DIR. Thus, he's a genius. When an image comes to his mind he cannot wait. It all felt so fast. He's really a phenomenal creator.

－ How was the performance at the Half Century Anniversary?

I felt he definitely is someone who follows his instincts. When you stand on the stage and things get serious it totally doesn't matter if you're younger or older (as in how long you've been working in a music business). Of course there was no stage fright, I felt as a performer he's just huge, and at the same time it felt like there was mutual respect. It felt like it would be a waste to let it just finish like that. That's why I'm very happy that we can release the collaboration from the stage [on the live album].

◆Next, they talk about TERU and TAKURO (from GLAY), followed by Kiyoharu (I'm skipping here a lot)◆

－Kiyoharu said 'I've performed on various stages so I can't imagine myself losing, but when playing together with SUGIZO the pressure is very different'. Often when two different performers stand on stage together sparks will fly.

The same thing can be said about RYUICHI and SUGIZO, the spark/heat of the collision of a guitarist and a vocalist is often very attractive. In a way there's also the aesthetics of traditional rock, that the combination of Kiyoharu and SUGIZO might be able to embody this spark's attractiveness. That's why the collision on the stage makes me shudder, but also it's possible to blend together. With [the combination of] Kyo and SUGIZO there's no blending together, it feels different. And with TAKURO・TERU we're different type of people. When Kiyoharu is on stage I feel he's the same species as me.

－ It's interesting that the character of all those three groups of musicians is totally different.

That's true. I think it's amazing I could have a line-up like that, it's really by chance that they are my good friends coming from the same genre.

◆they finish the interview talking about the sound and working with Dub Master X, sound mixing for the album, SUGIZO wants the live sound to have intimate, close feeling◆

一 So how was it to complete a live album without compromising on anything?

It's a live album, but it it makes me feel like I was able to create a 'SUGIZO's Best Album'. 2 years I go I released what was meant to be my biggest compilation, but obviously the sound from the studio and from the concert have totally different types of energy. As someone who's been performing on the stage for a very long time, I'm really glad to able to pack that energy for the first time officially on an album. Of course live performance has less precision than the studio album, but performance has way more energy.

Another thing is that as you know it is difficult now to perform due to the pandemic. I haven't played live for half a year, when thinking about it, it's the first time in my music career to not play any shows for this long. That's why I'm really yearning for the stage performance, the live show. When I was still doing them it was something obvious, but now that I can't, making this album made me keenly aware how important concerts are in my life and how much I need them; and to tell the truth working on this live album was like saving myself in a way. Obviously a live album can't rival the real thing. Not even a live dvd nor a live stream can match the excitement of being there [at the show], but I worked on this album hoping to let you feel at least some percent of that feeling. At any rate, I'm really grateful to be able to create a work like a live album that inspired me so much as a child.

Btw 絶彩 feat. 京 [LIVE IN TOKYO] available here