#work is finally less hectic and i now have time to do this too

[tuliptic]

Start Line: Growing and Transforming

We've been running this far, non-stop, all day yeah   Never getting tired, we keep up this runner's high   You know graduation   Even though it's over, it's not the end   Put on some new shoes   Yeah we're ready at the start line

Things have been difficult for a lot of us, and sometimes, we just want a flicker of hope, or some words of encouragement that can push us to go further. Just… Something, a message, to tell us that the pain we’re going through right now is temporary, and things will be better. 

Close your eyes, meditate on this topic and tell yourself that you’re on a brand new start line, and ask for the messages you’re called to hear. Breathe in and out, make sure your mind and heart is calm. Then, open your eyes to see which pile talks to you the most/draws you in the most. Once you’ve found your pile, scroll down to the respective parts to see what are the messages for you.

Pile 1 - Pile 2

Pile 3 - Pile 4

Disclaimer: This is solely for my entertainment purposes. Take only whatever you feel like it. If it doesn’t resonate, it’s okay to just drop it. Also, I do not consent to my work or images being used by third parties on this platform or other websites as well.

Decks used: Crossing Star Tarot Deck (Major Arcana), Linestrider Tarot Deck, Sweet Dreams Oracle Deck, Starcodes Astro Oracle Deck, self-made lyrics deck.

Pile 1

One card to represent you: The Magician rx

The first thought that popped into my mind is that… You’ve probably been told (many times) that you’re a good manifestor, but you have not seen it working out for you, or at least, not at the moment. You’ll need to try an error (or maybe errors) to find what works for you, and what works best for you. It can be rather disheartening to fail, but look for the opportunities in life’s challenges and learn the lessons. You work better by letting your physical body learn rather than your brain to absorb the knowledge. You probably have also noticed your tendency to self-sabotage, but you don’t intend to do anything about it. Perhaps, not at the moment, as you’re not in a right place yet to fix yourself, but you need to remember it and to work on it.

1. Why have things happened?  - Four of Cups

You have been too focused on what you’re feeling and not looking at the outer world, on whatever that’s happening around you or to you. This definitely has something to do with The Magician rx above, where you’re sabotaging yourself and not focusing on the present. It’s giving me very… Neptune rx in Pisces vibes, so some of you who picked this pile may have Pisces placements. It’s like living in the world yet not living at the same time, where you’re floating and drifting, not seeing where you’re at or where you’re going. Life has been throwing you opportunities to learn the lessons, but you’re not learning it. Not to mention that you’re not organising what it is that you’re feeling inside and to do something about it. With all of that happening, some of you may feel you’re at a standstill or some will have their head and heart wrapped up in different bags and not know how to unify them.

2. How to stop your train of thoughts and start again from where you’re standing? - Knight of Pentacles rx

You have to stop dilly-dallying, and pick up the pace if you want to move away from where you’re standing. Sure, ADHD paralysis is difficult to deal with when you’re frozen (I’m referring to myself as well, in case y’all think I’m attacking anyone), but it is already something if you can move yourself away from the way of harm first. My first thought here is to train your body to be able to move on autopilot from time to time, which will help you in countless ways. Sure, you’re still sluggish and unenthusiastic, but let your body move first, exercise, and let your brain rest during those times.  Another way you can attempt to stop those thoughts is to get help. Not only external help from professionals, but more of building healthy interpersonal relationships. True friends will want to help you to be better, and will be willing to spend some time to accompany you to carry out activities that are beneficial for both of you.

3. What to look forward to? - The Magician rx

You’ll be able to tap into your energy. I do think that this is a time for you to work together with your manifestation talent/skill, and for you to decide which direction you want to head. You need to remember that the direction you’re going is not something fixed, so no worries in making a decision. You can change that anytime, or go on a different journey if it doesn’t fit you. The more important thing is to have a welcoming heart, to dream and invite limitless magic into your life, allow your guides to show in unexpected ways. Do not be afraid, go step by step and find out what works for you.  Of course, you can look forward to this if you take action. If you’re not doing anything, do not hope or wish for things to fall directly into your laps.

4. What have you left behind and grown from? - The Tower

You’ve gone through a huge upheaval, you’ve gone through a lot of chaos and traumas in the past. Now, you’re going through another fundamental shift. It may not be as tremendous and messy as it was in the past, but this shift is something more of an energy thing, where you need to learn to be more selective with where and who you want to spend your energy on. This energy encompasses mental, spiritual and physical energy, and you have to remember that you’re also an exhaustible being, where you can’t focus on others forever. Look back, and you’ll see how far you’ve gone from that unhappy place. Remind yourself that you’re able to do it again. Once you’ve grown from it, you’ll also be more free to explore your skills and abilities. You’ve always had a tendency to have a foot in almost everything, and with you now knowing how to distribute your energy and time? You definitely can. You can try focusing on what’s in front of you instead of attempting to explore far, you might find treasures closer to you instead.

5. When will things start getting better? When will you get your justice? - The Chariot

The Chariot talks about action and goal. I don’t think I need to say much on this, as it’s pretty self explanatory. However, remember to hold onto your reins as you move towards wherever it is you’re heading. You need to have a clear goal and a destination, else you’ll run out of energy/fuel, and you may end up in different places. You’ll need a clear and visible goal, and the stages need to be well defined and measurable. You get strength from seeing actual results, and that’s when you gain the confidence to continue moving forward. You will get justice when you’re moving forward. The justice here is internal, as it is more towards countering the self-sabotaging part of you. It’s difficult, but once you wipe the tears and bite on the happiness you’re seeing, you’ll know your purpose in life, and you’ll taste that justice.

6. Advice for you - Five of Pentacles, Nine of Cups rx, Ace of Cups rx

Some of you may be facing financial difficulties or even health problems. It’s best if you work on them now as you prepare for what it is to come. It can be quite disheartening at times when you question and wonder why hard times fall on you more often than others. This may also result in an unhealthy stream of emotions. Emotions itself isn’t a bad thing, the problem would be how you’re managing it. Don’t hold them in and stack them up. Find a safe place to release them, understand those emotions and nurture yourself back. Place your trust in the Universe, believe that whatever that is happening to you right now is part of a greater plan. Twist your thoughts a little, see it as a blessing where you’re finding problems when it’s still salvageable (it’s still painful but hey, we can work on it eventually). Tune into your heart, listen to your wishes, and look at what you have achieved throughout the years. Your wishes of the past are now fulfilled, and you’ve finally built the life you’ve wanted when you were much younger. Well, it may exist in different forms, or you’ve gotten it not according to how you originally planned, but it’s there. Know that you can change your wishes into reality because you have the power. Believe in yourself. Let’s say if you want to recover faster, you can manifest quicker healing. You can. Just make sure that you do not fall into the habit of feeling dejected and dissatisfied quickly. Hold on to a heart of gratitude. It will open up doors for you.

Overall energy: The Tower rx, Six of Pentacles

There’s a mix of energy here. You’re unsatisfied that things have gone out of your control, yet there’s also a sense of relief that you are not responsible over those things going out of control. Despite the difficult times, you still hold generosity in your heart, where you offer what you have (materials, energy, time) to those who need them. In turn, you’ll also be blessed with what you need. Accept help given to you with an open heart and a grateful attitude. The greater plan the Universe has in mind for you may have something to do with people and connection, so that may be an aspect you want to pay attention to. Things or memories from the past can be resurfacing, so stop hiding or running away, and face them. 

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Pile 2

One card to represent you: Death

First thing I’m picking up here is that you’re going through a lot of changes right now, and the next thing is that… You’re being watched over. There's a lot, and I mean A WHOLE LOT of things that are going on right now, and they’re overflowing your plate. I could sense a certain level of panic and dread over everything, but there’s also some form of apathy where you’re tired of everything and anything happening all at once. There’s too much that’s going on to the point you have no idea where or what to focus on, so you’re probably at a standstill where you’re looking at the overflowing plate, doing nothing. I’d say that this is a “freeze” response because you’re at a point where you can’t process anything at the moment, but once your brain starts spinning again, you’ll get things done. You have people watching over you, or your guides are protecting you at this time. Imagine you’re standing still in the middle of the path but no one is hitting you. It’s like that. Your guides are making sure that you have enough time to process whatever that’s happening to you and around you. Once you start moving, they’ll follow behind you and help you out when you ask them, especially when you’re facing any confrontation.

1. Why have things happened? - The Hermit rx

You’ve withdrawn yourself from certain aspects of life (friendship, or work, or a certain class, or even a hobby) with attempts of healing yourself and to give yourself more time. Sure, you’ve got the time, but those times were not spent on yourself, those free times were not helping you, but the other people in your life. In another sense, you were still busy, and you did not get the rest you needed.  There’s a certain level of emptiness that I’m feeling here, and that you’re torn as well, not sure if you want to fill that emptiness or you want to remain it as so because of the comfort of being used to it. Do you trust yourself, with the steps and decisions you’ve been making? BET ON ME by ITZY was playing as I typed this out, and I do feel that there’s a message in this song for you.

2. How to stop your train of thoughts and start again from where you’re standing? - King of Pentacles rx

King of Pentacles is generally the last card of the deck, and what I'm seeing here is that you still have a lot more to go, that things are not final yet, and you have the ability (King) to change things to your favour. I understand that you're currently in a flight or freeze mindset, but you need to work your brain to trick it a little so that it moves, and you can reprogram it a little so that you can move away from the spot you froze. Be kind to yourself and let go of those thoughts that are haunting you, step away from those self-criticism, know that you deserve gentleness. The King is abundant in finances, life experience, but I'd also like to add connections into this list. To be a King, you must have known to pull strings around to make things work, to make sure you win the trust of the people. To achieve that, you need good and skillful people who are willing to listen to your plans and to make them work. Those connections are what will help you throughout your difficult times. Sure, people may have turned you down in the past, but know that they may not be in any position to extend any help back then, and that things may be different now. They will be more capable now. Some… May have a really painful tongue, not filtering their words. But still, they will help, and you'll be surprised with what they're able to offer.

3. What to look forward to? - Ten of Cups rx

This… probably is not gonna sound ideal to a lot of people but… You can look forward to having a fresh start. It's like the cups you have are now poured clean, and you are forced to redo things again, to fill them up again but this time, you get to choose what you fill them up with. Previously, when you were growing up, people around you filled those cups for you, helping you make decisions (that you may not like or agree with), or even tainting them (putting droplets of other things in it), and those form you to who you are today. But, by pouring them clean (a very, very painful process), you are now able to pour and fill your cups with whatever you want and whatever you need. You'll be able to work with your dreams and spirit's energy to reach your highest good as you fiercely protect your cups, your energy, your life. Your life is now yours to write.

4. What have you left behind and grown from? - Three of Wands

It feels like you have left behind a lot of original plans that you have made for yourself in the past as you build yourself anew. There's a lot of internal cleansing done, and you've decided to start everything from scratch again. You'll be able to build things again and fully immerse yourself in a new future you'll create. You've learnt to grow from pain and to see the smaller happiness in life, learning to accept that growth is inevitable. Visualisation is also vital here, where you will need to immerse yourself in whatever you have now as you visualise where you will be standing in the future. You decide your own path, and you have to walk it.

5. When will things start getting better? When will you get your justice? - Ten of Swords rx

Things will start getting better once you pull out all the swords from your back. There's a lot of… Purging. Yeah, purging is a more suitable word to use for your situation. Your situation is like the shelf full of ceramic plates that will crash the moment you open that door. But you still need to open it, you'll need to let all of those fall, and you can clean it, to make space for new items to put in. You now can choose metal plates, or plastic plates to put in, whatever it is that you want. But first, you need to clean the space, only then you'll invite limitless magic into your life and allow your spirit guides to show up in unexpected ways. They are there for you, through a breeze, through a flyer, through a sudden noise to stop you from crossing the road. Once you've made space, that's when you'll get your justice by living your best self.

6. Advice for you - King of Wands rx, Strength rx, Six of Swords rx

There's another King card here, telling me that whatever you're going through right now is not an easy one. It probably will be there a little longer and it is what will help you to build up your upcoming new life, to start everything again. You will need to be at peace with yourself and be kind to yourself first.  Turn your strength and focus inwards, nurture yourself, and do not shy from cutting people out of your life if they drain you too much, even if they are family. You need to understand that you are your own universe, and you are your own priority. If you do not prioritise yourself, no one will. Others do not have that responsibility over you, so let yourself breathe. For now, heal your wounds, use it as your badge of honour, and live your life as how you see fit. Remember, it is you who define who you are, not your past.

Overall energy: Strength, Nine of Wands

There's a lot of strength in you, actually, just that you have not known how to work with it right now, not sure how to turn that strength for yourself. You have been resilient in everything you do, no matter how battered up you are, so let those tension fall from you. Sit down in peace and quiet as you receive the messages from your guides, letting them guide you through this time of difficulty. Trust your feelings, they know you better than yourself. Listen to your emotions, they understand your needs better. Act on them when needed, you will know when the timing is right.

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Pile 3

One Two cards to represent you: The Tower rx, The Chariot rx

I'm… Not exactly that surprised to see two cards falling out. The Tree in this image symbolises the Tree of Life as I was doing the reading, so some of you who picked this pile may be told that you guys are knowledgeable or do possess some extensive knowledge in very specific fields. And with this knowledge comes expectations, which can be seen with two cards falling out for you. With these two cards, what I'm immediately picking on is that… You are in a phase of life that can be quite challenging right now, where things that are beyond your control are happening almost all at once, and you're losing your balance as you continue to run on the uneven paths. You're growing exhausted as you're being chased with expectations and by your own sense of duty. So, please take a break when you need it.

1. Why have things happened? - Three of Pentacles rx

There have been conflicts going on with you and your social circles, may it be disagreements between classmates/colleagues, or getting shunned by them for not going along with them. There’s a slight hint of one being an outcast here. Correlating to the cards representing you, how you became an outcast is also due to what you're going through life right now, requiring you to put a hold onto a lot of other things, including assignments and/or socialisation, etc. Your intuition has been your assistant throughout these times of perils, and it's giving me that you do know how and why you're in a situation that's making you stagnant. Not sure if you are capable of breaking that ice or you're resting at the moment before you take the first step out. Either way, unlike most people, you know where you’re standing at right now, and you do know how to make changes towards a new you if needed.

2. How to stop your train of thoughts and start again from where you’re standing? - Three of Swords

This is probably a weird way to put it, but you need to use your pain as a tool to help you get back to the present. You may be able to perceive pain differently, like… It's to prove that you're still living, that you're still alive, and you still can make changes to the situation you're in. You need to remind yourself that you're beloved, and that the Universe loves you and is throwing hints at you through very… questionable ways. Trust your inner wisdom and intuition, let them guide you to where you're supposed to be. Oddly, I'd say that you have been through something similar before, but you kinda panicked when your previous methods no longer work for this situation. This is the time where you need to find a new method that will help you develop your senses, and for you to be at peace with yourself again. Coping mechanisms, but let it help you with more than just coping.

3. What to look forward to?- The Chariot rx

I'd say that things will slow down, not because the problems are resolved, but because the tires have worn out. Your nightmare and problems have also run out of strength to go after you, which gives you a quick chance to take a small break before you retreat to somewhere safer, where you build a new coping mechanism and possibly plans for the upcoming problems. I'd also say that this is a good time for you to make new connections that will be helpful in the long run. Don't worry about burdening others, as I believe that there will be a chance for you to help them back. Friendships and connections are mutual, where both parties benefit from them.  Not sure if you’re the type who’d welcome new changes. Nevertheless, challenges will be coming your way for you to level up. I’d say that these challenges are coming in a way where you’re capable of managing it. From there, you’ll experience a new sort of rebirth, and you’ll find a new identity that works with you better. 

4. What have you left behind and grown from? - King of Pentacles

I have no idea why but I'm sensing some… Familial relationships and expected duties? Most of you may be working with establishing healthy boundaries with your family, making sure that the roles are properly and fairly distributed. It also feels like… Financial responsibilities aren't yours alone, and the entire family will need to figure out how to contribute and prepare for any emergencies.  You’re now the King, where you have a comfortable relationship with your finances, knowing that it’s yours, your property, and you have every right to access it and to use it without guilt. There may be a chance where your family or extended relatives have guilt-tripped you to sacrifice or contribute to their needs, and you’re unapologetically free from those now. You now learn to trust your intuition more and let your inner wisdom guide you through your way subconsciously. It’s now a part of your life where you don’t really need to sit and listen, as you’re driving on auto-pilot by your subconsciousness.

5. When will things start getting better? When will you get your justice? - The Sun rx

I'd say that things will start getting better at unexpected times, or even at times when you can't see hope. The Sun is unable to shine on all people, it's unable to pierce through thick walls, but it doesn't mean it's not there. The Sun here feels mellow, like it's keeping its warmth and heat in check to not burn the other living beings that it's feeding.  There’s also another message here that is assuring you that good things take time, and that you’ll need to be kind to yourself so that those blessings arrive and you’re ready to receive them wholeheartedly. The entire thing is a journey, and the roads can be bumpy. But still, what matters is the journey and you’re able to reach your final goal in a good condition, so take your time as you tread through those paths. Once you start walking and taking action, luck will fall by your side and accompany you through this journey.

6. Advice for you - Nine of Pentacles rx, Knight of Wands, Knight of Cups

You may be using your time unwisely by focusing on things that do not exactly benefit you. I’m not saying that you can’t, but you need to set your priorities straight and know what is the final goal of your actions. You may start a project that requires you to invest and purchase tools, when you’re rushing a deadline that’s gonna affect your assignment and final’s results. By doing this, you’re in a way, not planning well. Sure, you get your emotional fulfilment, but it also comes at the price of you failing your semester (touchwood). Passion projects can be fun, but you need to plan your time well, plan your resources well, plan your enthusiasm as well. The planning happens behind closed doors. Others will see how well you portray yourself and be drawn to you, but you need to remember the need for continuous effort for you to achieve the best results. The public, or people around you may gather around you because of how well you have a grip over yourself, and once things have calmed down, feel free to let yourself loose a little. People will show up around you, and it’s totally fine for you to enjoy the attention and affection. You just need to remember how much you’ve put in to build yourself, and not let others take you for granted, or to take advantage of your skills or what you have to offer.

Overall energy: Strength, Four of Wands rx

Strength and beauty comes in all forms possible, even through pain and tears. This is something that you’ll be learning to accept through this difficult time. Most of us may understand the beauty and appeal of pain, but not many can accept it. Whatever we’re going through right now makes us learn and accept it, to come to terms with it. Of course, changes come along with it and we will need to learn to adapt to it, to build a “New You” as you face the upcoming challenges. Know that whatever you’re doing right now is a pre-requirement for you to achieve your dreams. You are your own world, and you can change the world as you grace the strong wind standing your way.

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Pile 4

One card to represent you: The Devil

What I’m feeling here is that you tend to have a certain level of control over some things in your life. The control here isn’t exactly pleasant, where it may be imbalanced and there can be some arguments going on. Temptations are heard as well. You know you’re stuck in some loop where you can’t escape, and you have no intention of escaping. The picture for this pile is somehow giving me Sex and The City vibes, where the neon lights (benefits, financial resources, interests) have been the focus of your sight, and this allows you to have a different perspective, or for you to see things differently from your peers.

1. Why have things happened? - Strength rx

You have lost strength, internal strength mainly. You were not surrounded by those who supported you, and your energy was depleted bit by bit as you tried to fit in. You have put yourself in a position where you depend on the actions and feelings of others, and you may have given up on your instinctive responses, not having the self-discipline and control you need. The Lion is your passion, and it’s now your enemy, threatening to destroy whatever stability and name you’ve built. Imagine a woman trying to tame the agitated lion and the two ended up in a fight, while the spectators (wrong group of friends) by the side just watched. 

2. How to stop your train of thoughts and start again from where you’re standing? - Knight of Swords

You’ll need to start taking care of yourself, listen to yourself. You’re a person who prides your intelligence, and you tend to be in your own head a lot. However, you’ve listened to the noises out there that have affected you in a negative way. Not to say that you’re supposed to go back into the state of being in your own headspace, but for you to pay attention to yourself more, to listen to the voices of your heart instead of the external noises. You’ve always been head>heart, and now you’ll need to go head<heart. You may not like how different this… new routine is, but you will also know that it has to be done, as you’ve been seeing messages of this “new path” around. Balancing out the heart voices and head nagging is important, and this is how you shall start.  You also need to remember you yourself, are the source of everything essentially you. You build yourself; you create yourself. You are not built on the words or acceptance of others. You need to remind yourself that you are already doing well, and the expectations of others are not yours to bear.

3. What to look forward to? - Ace of Wands

New beginnings come with changes. Once you’ve chosen a different voice to listen to, you’ll be able to regain energy, bit by bit, to attempt more changes in your life. Opportunities will surely come your way when you accept the positive energy around you, and it’s up to you to seize them and make them work. It’s a time for you to follow your instincts and have courage. Take action when you need them.  That aside, it’s suggested that you return to your roots as you venture through this bright explosion of good energy. Remember the importance of grounding yourself and go back to the basics from time to time. It’s not only to cleanse your heart, but also serves as a reminder of where you came from, and how you need to be in touch with your past and nature.

4. What have you left behind and grown from? - Six of Wands

What I’m seeing here is that you’ve put down the yearn and drive for fame and luxuries, and have redefined success for yourself. You’ve awakened from the past and start to feel more energised, learning to start your days in a better mood as you count your victories. More people are recognizing your achievements as they approach you with interest.  As you compare what you had and what you’re having now (or will be having in the future), you’ll be able to evaluate better and have a clearer idea of the direction you want to take next. You are warned of self-doubt and lack of confidence. You have to believe in your abilities and worth so people can trust you, so that you can trust and confide in yourself.

5. When will things start getting better? When will you get your justice? - Eight of Wands

Eight of Wands is a card that talks about movements. Once you’re moving, once you’re taking action, that’s when you’ll see things turning out different for you. You’ll start to receive things or messages that you’ve been waiting for, and it’s time for you to stop stalling. If you’re interested in someone, you will have to walk towards them and work for it. You’ll be able to attract a loving, happy, fulfilling relationship into your life as you’re no longer the old you. Remember, birds of the same kind flock together, and the same goes with people too. You attract people of your level. You want that person who’s active and charming? Be proactive in approaching them.  Your justice will come in unexpected forms, but most of it would be releasing of past hurt. There will be times where you’ll want to hug yourself to sleep as you were reminded of how things have been difficult. This is one of the healing phases where you slowly let things go. The lighter you are, the better you become. This is also because the karma of those who’ve wronged you will not be tied to you anymore.

6. Advice for you - The Star, King of Cups rx, Nine of Cups

Rebuild yourself. This probably sounds difficult and too… idealised? But this is what you need to do. The Star is there to tell you that there’s a silver lining behind every grey cloud, that you’re not broken beyond repair, and that you’re able to work yourself up to another peak. This card is an extremely gentle card, so take that message and be gentle to yourself as well. You’ll need to practise self-compassion, listen to your inner feelings, cultivate yourself and let yourself grow into your very best self. Love others by first loving yourself, don’t forget about the promises you’ve made to yourself.  Make new and healthy connections as you flourish. If you wish for them, they’ll come into your life. Learn to be content with the gifts you’re having everyday, learn to hold gratitude with what the Earth is offering you. With the amount of Cups here, try getting close to bodies of water (beach, sea, waterfall, etc). Water may be a healing element for you. Alternatively, try doing activities that are related to creativity (crafting, writing, drawing, or something that’s symbolistic) as they can be an outlet of your heart’s wants, which you can understand better from the results of your craft. Remember to stay hydrated too.

Overall energy: Justice, Eight of Swords

Justice is really your theme right now. You’ve been choosing to run away from the obvious, but it’s high time that you wake up, pull down the blinds that have been covering your eyes and to see the truth for who he is. The first action needed for every awakening is to open your eyes and acknowledge whatever that has been going wrong. Only then you’re able to take action towards a better situation. You’ll need to open up your heart and invite new changes in, welcome new beginnings in. The theme of Justice can be difficult and painful, but it’s necessary for you as you transform bit by bit, cutting down the vines that have been tying you down, severing unhealthy ties that have been binding you down (refer to The Devil). Get back your own autonomy, treat yourself right, let justice be served on who deserves them.

[colormepurplex2]

Golden Cufflinks | JJK

▻ Golden Cufflinks ↳ Alpha!Jungkook x Omega!f.Reader ⤜ Best Friend's Fiance, Strangers to True Mates ⤜ A/B/O AU | angst, smut, fluff ⤜ Rating: MA ⤜ WC: 11,742 ⤜ Summary: You’ve never given much thought to finding your true mate, firmly believing it’s something that will happen when it happens. But, when you do find him—thanks to a pair of golden cufflinks—it very well could ruin everything. They say not all’s fair in love and war; you just hadn’t expected your best friend’s wedding to be the battleground. ⚠️ Crass language, talk of designation hierarchy, mild talk of misogynistic practices of the past, confessions of cheating(not by main pairing), anger/arguments, kissing, dick sucking, mild cum intrigue, maybe mild breeding kink if you squint, unprotected v. sex, knotting, lots of slick and cum

Written for @hisunshiine as part of the 2nd Quarter 2023 @bangtanwritershq Awards Season! A/N: Congratualtions, Vanessa. You deserve all the kudos for a job well done during the 2nd Quarter 2023, I hope you enjoy the story!

A special thank you to @downbad4yoongi, @lo1k-diamonds, @moonleeai for the amazing beta services!

Can also be found on: Ao3 | Wattpad

Nerves flutter in your belly as you gather your belongings from the plastic bin at the end of the rolling conveyor belt on the other side of security. As you walk away, your phone buzzes in your pocket, and you have to juggle your purse and jacket to retrieve it.

You feel bad for making Hayun, your best friend for as long as you can remember, wait for a response, but you desperately just want to find your gate and have a seat first. Once you find it and settle in at a chair by the big windows looking out on the tarmac, you thumb to her contact.

“If I didn’t love you so much, I’d probably hate you right now for making me wait so long for a response,” Hayun sasses before her voice softens, “Hello, I love you.”

“Love you, too, girl,” you say, unable to help the smile that tilts your lips up. “Sorry, I’ve been MIA for the last few hours. Things have been hectic. I misplaced my passport this morning, but I finally found it under the bed and then missed the hotel shuttle. I had to call a rideshare, but of course, it took them forever to get through airport traffic, and ugh…” you trail off with a sigh. “I’m sitting down for the first time since I woke up this morning.”

Which was approximately four hours ago at this point. Your flight is set to take off less than an hour from now, so you imagine boarding might start soon. You’re not exaggerating when you say it’s been hectic. It was bad enough waking up at 3 AM, but you’re a chronic planner and stickler for time, so missing your flight was the absolute last thing you wanted to happen.

“Oh, babe, that sucks. I’m glad it’s all worked out, though. I really can’t wait to see you!”

The conversation passes quickly, easing your heart and mind as you catch up on the last twenty-four hours. You haven’t seen Hayun in a handful of years. Her career took her to the other side of the world, and yours kept you where you both grew up. The last time you saw her was through a haze of tears at this very airport when she boarded a plane destined for Seoul, South Korea, where she was adopted from at just two years old.

Visiting each other was always something you both talked about. But, as with most things, life just happens, and eventually, you find yourself making that visit you always talked about for reasons you never considered before—like your best friend tying the knot with a guy you’ve never met.

Sure, you’ve seen pictures of him and have heard him talk in the background of most of the phone calls you’ve exchanged with Hayun over the last few years. But, it was never on your friendship bingo card that the next time you’d find yourself seeing your best friend, it would be her at her wedding.

“I gotta go. They’re about to start boarding.”

“I’ll see you when you land. Can’t wait!”

Hayun disconnects the call, and you gather your belongings to prepare to line up in the boarding queue. It will be a long flight, but seeing Hayun again after so long apart will be worth it.

You fiddle with the bracelet on your left wrist, twisting and pinching at the silver moon charm dangling from the thin chain. Hayun has a matching one. They were presents from your parents on the day you were both recognized with your designations; she was thirteen, and you were fifteen.

The dynamics of Alphas and Omegas have long since changed from what it once was. Legend has it that once upon a time, an Alpha and an Omega were closer to their wolf-kin than how the world is now. Thanks to evolution and science, the only things remaining from that time are the more basic bodily functions—scents, knots, and slick, to sum it up.

The crescent charm on your wrist symbolizes your designation—Omega. But being an Omega doesn’t hold much meaning for you. You don’t feel all that special, and it’s not like you’re rare or any more or less capable than the next person. As it stands, you can see at least a dozen other moons jangling from bracelets, waiting to board the same plane you are.

There are also necklaces, tattoos, and other ways to display a designation scattered around the waiting area. The how of it is mostly regional, sometimes generational. The Beta standing behind you in the queue has a teardrop earring dangling from their left ear, and if it weren’t for the pheromone blockers you took this morning, you might be able to smell their unique scent.

You also have your own smell, a scent that is just you. You’ve been told it’s a sweet, citrusy bouquet like lemonade on a hot summer afternoon. However, also thanks to the blockers, it remains suppressed to the point someone would have to make you bleed or press their nose so firmly against your throat it hurts to smell it.

There really is only one thing that a lot of people are envious of when it comes to an Omega’s designation, and that is that they supposedly have an Alpha true mate out there somewhere that will call to their baser nature. It’s such a rare phenomenon these days that it might as well be part of the legends of old, too.

The bottom line is that no one cares about subgenders anymore; it doesn't matter whether your charm is the Omega crescent, the teardrop of a Beta, or the triskelion denoting an Alpha. In fact, you’re pretty sure you could ask the Beta for their earring and offer them your charm bracelet and no one would bat an eye over it.

Though you’d never do that, considering the chain around your wrist isn’t technically yours. The night after you presented as Omega, when you snuck away with Hayun to lay on a blanket under the stars and moon that was so like the charm hanging from your twin bracelets, you giggled as you exchanged them. Her tiny fingers trembled against your wrist as she secured her silver chain around it. You did the same with your own around hers a second later.

It was that night that you both swore always to be friends. No matter what happened in life or where either of you ended up, you would always remain true to one another. So far, your friendship has been unfailing, a constant thread of comfort and light for you both. No matter how long it’s been, the charm still smells faintly of your best friend—a perk of the charms themselves, holding a token essence of their owners. Hers holds a soft lilac and jasmine scent that you’ve always thought complimented your own citrus notes.

The flight attendant scanning boarding passes beckoning you forward breaks you out of your internal reflections. With a full heart and giddy anticipation curling in your belly, you find your seat and settle in.

It’s a long flight, longer than most flights you’ve taken. But when you finally walk off the plane, make it through customs and immigration, and finally empty into the arrivals terminal of the Incheon Airport, you feel immediate relief, and the hours spent in the air don’t seem so bad.

“Hey, over here!” a familiar voice calls out, catching your attention.

You spin on your heel, confusion setting in for just a moment before it’s replaced by another wave of relief and a little of something warmer. Taehyung, Hayun’s adopted brother, swamps you in a giant bear hug that quite literally sweeps you off of your feet.

“Wow, hey. This is a surprise. What are you doing here? Where’s Hayun?”

Taehyung scrunches up his face, letting out a small scoff. “It’s a good surprise, I hope. Something came up, and she had to meet with the wedding planner and caterer at the last minute. She called me and asked if I could pick you up.”

“Oh, okay. Yeah,” you confirm with a smile. “Good surprise.”

It’s no secret that you’ve always been fond of Taehyung. As a baby, you were toddling around with him long before his family adopted Hayun. She ended up being the sister you never knew you needed, even if you were a few years older.

When she moved to Seoul for work, Taehyung ended up being the physical representation that took her place. He flew out a week before you to help her with planning and will stay for a few weeks after you’ve already headed back home. They may have had their differences over the years, but their sibling bond is stronger than petty arguments and rivalries.

“Ready to get on the road? It’s a long drive.”

Hours later, with the rolling countryside and farms dotting the horizon, you discover the fiasco inside your backpack. The bottle of pheromone blockers you packed this morning somehow got shuffled to the bottom of your bag and popped open. The once-powder-filled capsules litter the bottom of your bag, broken open. Pale blue powder coats your things, the mild flower smell of the medicine lingering in the air.

“Fucking hell,” you groan. “Any chance there’s a clinic somewhere between here and where we’re going?”

“Unfortunately, no.” He frowns, drumming his fingers lightly on the steering wheel, making the triskelion signet ring on his index finger glitter in the mid-day sun. “We’d probably have to turn around and head nearly three hours back to get anywhere near a clinic with blockers. I'm told most people don’t use them anymore these days here. Maybe another one of the wedding party might have some you could borrow if you really need them. But, honestly, I don’t see anyone minding if you don’t use them.”

“Most people here don’t use them anymore?”

“Well, yeah, with the progression of equality and things like that. They’re so great here, way more progressive than back home. It’s very common for Omegas to go off of blockers or never even begin them. Laws have been implemented to punish Alphas who can’t control themselves. The responsibility of remaining safe shouldn’t be solely set on the shoulders of the Omega population.”

Talk like that has only recently become popular back home. You’ve heard the speeches and followed the media and the sources, but you suppose after nearly half of your life taking blockers, it just comes naturally to continue to do so.

“Hm, yeah, okay. I guess it’s no big deal, really. As long as you’re sure people won’t mind?”

Taehyung sniffs the air, his nose twitching. “I think you smell great, but just in case not everyone does, if someone says something, then I’ll personally drive all the way back to the city and pick you up some,” Taehyung promises, giving you one of his swoon-worthy smiles.

The crush you once upon a time had on Taehyung threatens to spark anew at the sight of his charming, boxy grin—a grin you would have once done anything to pull from him. But now, it just fills you with warmth and a homey comfort.

You give him a smile of your own. “Deal.”

“Hayun!”

Her squeal of delight when she turns around and catches sight of you echoes through the open space of the dimly lit bar of the bed and breakfast where the wedding is taking place.

It’s a cozy space with rich dark wood accents and royal blue velvet upholstery. Brass gas lamps and light fixtures give the entire lounge an upscale and chic atmosphere that you know is right up Hayun’s alley.

The few hours you had between checking in at the bed and breakfast and meeting Hayun for her very small—just you and one other person—bachelorette party were spent familiarizing yourself with the grounds.

The ceremony will take place in one of the lavish gardens, and the reception will follow in one of the grand dining halls. For a bed and breakfast, it’s far fancier than any you’ve ever been to. It definitely does not have the mom-and-pop feel that you typically associate with the term ‘B&B’.

“You’re here!” she shrills, throwing her arms around your neck.

Her petite form fits just like it always has against yours. Thick black hair, shorter than the last time you saw it, curls around the rounded lines of her cheeks, and her brown eyes are bright and glisten with happy tears. With her bubbly personality and small, wispy frame, she's always reminded you of a fairy.

You sigh, taking a deep breath and savoring your best friend's soft, floral scent. Thanks to the bracelet tinkling around her wrist, it holds the smallest undercurrent of your sweet citrus. Clearly, she’s not taking blockers; the scents are heavy and delightful. “I’ve missed you so much.”

Hayun sucks in a deep breath that mirrors yours. “Wow, babe, you smell good! Finally gone off the blockers, huh?”

“Uh, kind of,” you chuckle, untangling yourself from her arms. “I brought some, but they broke open in my bag at some point.” You shrug. “Tae said it shouldn’t be that big of a deal.”

“Oh, it’s not. Absolutely not,” Hayun agrees, grinning broadly. “I’ve been off them for years and haven’t had a single issue. Come on, let’s have a drink and catch up!”

You settle in at a table, and it’s not long before Eunseo, Hayun’s other guest, joins you. You’ve heard a lot about Eunseo. Much the same way Taehyung took the place of Hayun for you, Eunseo took your place for Hayun. You half expect to feel some sort of friendship jealousy upon meeting Eunseo for the first time, but it doesn’t come. If anything, you’re immediately fond of the young woman.

The evening carries on, Hayun and Eunseo regaling you with tales from working together and their various adventures around Seoul. Eunseo shows genuine interest in your life back home, seeming eager to hear stories of Hayun’s childhood. She shows a particular interest in Taehyung, asking you in no certain terms more than you think is appropriate to share.

“But you’ve seen it, right?” Eunseo asks. Her elbows rest on the table, and her chin is nestled on her clasped hands, her eyes wide and glassy from the countless glasses of wine she’s had. “I bet it’s huge. Am I right?”

“Ugh,” Hayun groans. “Can we not talk about my brother’s dick. Please.” She makes a gagging sound before slurping down the rest of her cocktail and flagging down a passing waiter for another.

You try to wave off the waiter, but he’s turned toward the bar before you can get his attention. If Hayun has much more to drink, you’re not sure she’ll be able to walk down the aisle tomorrow unassisted.

“I’m just curious. It’s a harmless question,” Eunseo pouts. “Ignore her. Tell me. I just have to know.”

You swirl the straw around in your glass of water before giving Eunseo what you hope is a conspiratorial look. “Well—”

“What?! Ew. Are you really about to answer her? Please, dear god, do not tell me you have seen my brother’s penis. If you’ve seen it—fuck, I might actually puke.”

As much as you probably shouldn’t, you laugh, which earns further protests and obscene noises from Hayun.

“Before you interrupted me, I was going to say that maybe Eunseo should ask him herself.”

Hayun howls a protest, sloshing her new cocktail onto the table as she gesticulates a crude hand gesture in your direction. “Do not. I repeat, do not do that, Eunseo!”

The conversation peters off, Hayun losing herself in another cocktail while Eunseo stares dreamily up at the ceiling.

“I think—hiccup—it's bedtime,” Eunseo slurs.

As if right on cue, a familiar face peeks through the entrance to the lounge. You wave Taehyung down, and he comes jogging across the space to your table. His shirt is rumpled with the top few buttons undone, but his eyes are clear, and you know he’ll be a perfect gentleman.

“Are you sure?” you ask him, pitching your voice low.

“I got this, don’t worry. We finished up a few hours ago anyway.”

Taehyung gives you a warm, private smile before turning to Eunseo. “Hey there, beautiful. Let’s get you on to bed, okay?”

“Where’s my savior?” Hayun asks, frowning after her brother escorting Eunseo from the lounge and back through the front lobby.

“Right here,” you tell her, sliding out of your chair and coming around to her side of the table. “Come on, let’s go.”

It takes you more than twice as long as it usually would to get to Hayun’s room. She leans against the wall in the hall as you dig through her pockets in search of her room key. Once you find it tucked between a few stray bills and her ID, you usher her into the room and deposit her onto the bed.

Her fiance has a room on the other side of the grounds, but after the ceremony, they will both be moving into one of the couple’s suites for the night before jet-setting off to Jeju Island for their week-long honeymoon.

“Am I doing the right thing?”

Hayun’s question catches you off guard. You throw a confused look at her over your shoulder as you rummage through her suitcase in search of something for her to sleep in.

“What?”

She sighs as she rolls over, letting her head hang off the edge of the bed so she can look at you upside down. “Marrying Jungkook. It’s a mistake…so why am I doing it?”

“Hayun…what are you talking about? Jungkook is perfect for you. You guys have been dating for five years, and you told me you’ve never been happier. Where’s the mistake in that?”

The sound Hayun makes is akin to something a wounded animal might make. She flops, flailing her arms and legs like a child throwing a fit.

“That’s the thing, though! I’m happy, but I don’t love him. Oh god,” she cries. “I don’t love him.”

“Hey, hey now.” You abandon the search for sleeping clothes and crawl across the floor until you’re kneeling beside the bed. Smoothing your hand across her forehead, you ask, “Where is all this coming from?”

“He thinks I’m his true mate,” she whispers. The tears leaking from her eyes slide up her face, wetting the edges of her eyebrows before sliding over her forehead and disappearing into her hair. “But I know he’s not mine.”

“Wh—wait, what?” You push up from the floor and move onto the bed, gathering your best friend’s head into your lap so she’s no longer hanging upside down off the side of the bed.

She hiccups a sob, lips trembling as she explains, “He says I’m his true mate, that he knows because of my scent. But he doesn’t smell special to me…how is that possible?”

“Hayun, I don’t—”

“I cheated on him,” she whimpers in confession, cutting off what were going to be your soothing words of affirmation. They sour on your tongue, refusing to be released now.

Your stomach churns at her admittance. “You what?”

“You have every right to judge me. I’m a terrible person. But, when he told me I was his true mate…I panicked. I had to be sure I wasn’t broken, that me not finding his scent special wasn’t just something wrong with me.” Hayun blinks rapidly, trying to clear the tears as they begin to come in earnest. She clutches at the front of her shirt, hand fisting over her heart. “So, I slept with two Alphas that I work with to see if it was any different. I had to be sure. I had to know.”

“Hayun, I-I-I don’t…I’m not—”

“I’m such a fucking mess,” she sobs, curling in on you and pressing her face against your stomach. “I don’t deserve him. I only said yes to marrying him because I don’t want to be alone forever. I can’t be like you. I need someone.”

Her words sting, causing you to flinch involuntarily. You watch as she falls apart in your lap, ultimately giving in to her grief. It’s on the tip of your tongue to call her out on her childish behavior, to set the record straight about your own love life, and to leave her to her wallowing. But…the shaking of her shoulders and soft whines from her remind you so much of a younger and more fragile Hayun—the Hayun of your shared childhoods.

“Shh, it’s okay. It’s going to be okay.” No matter how you might feel about her actions and the hurtful words she’s spilled, you hate to see your best friend so distraught and broken. “Hey, look at me.”

You wait until her watery eyes peel away from your shirt and meet yours. “Tell me you hate me; it’s okay.”

“Hayun, I don’t hate you. I could never hate you. You made…a mistake, that’s all. You were trying to figure things out. But…Hayun, you…you have to tell him.”

She frowns up at you, her expression sobering. “Tell him?”

“He’s about to marry you, Hayun. That’s a big freaking deal…you have to tell him tomorrow morning before anything else happens.”

The laugh that bubbles from her lips is anything but humorous. “I-I can’t do that! He’ll hate me. He’ll call the wedding off!” She shoves out of your lap and stares at you like you’ve lost your mind.

“If Jungkook truly loves you and says you’re his true mate, I don’t see that happening. But, he deserves to know. You have to know that. Either you tell him now, or he finds out years from now, and then it’ll be so much worse,” you try to reason with her.

“He doesn’t have to know!” she whisper-yells, her tears turning from sad to angry in an instant.

You shake your head, unable to believe what you’re hearing from her. “This isn’t right, Hayun. You can’t go into a marriage with someone with secrets like that!”

“It’s not like it’ll happen again. I’m not going to cheat on him while we’re married. Please,” she begs, her face once more softening into saddened anguish. “I don’t want to lose him.”

“He deserves to know, Hayun,” you whisper, remembering your own keen sting of betrayal from many years ago. There is a reason you don’t date much. “You say it won’t happen again?” you ask, trying to buy yourself some time to process everything Hayun just told you.

Her silence is deafening, and you think she’s about to not answer you the way you hope, but, finally, she murmurs, “No. Never. I swear it.”

“Okay. Okay, good. But, he still needs to know.”

Just because you’ve never actually met Jungkook, it doesn’t mean you don’t care for him. He’s the one who puts a smile on Hayun’s face when you can’t. He’s the reason she’s as happy as she is…or has been? Now, you’re not so sure. But, what you are certain about is that Hayun is far too drunk right now to know up from down and is just having a moment of raw vulnerability.

“Are you going to tell him?” she asks, voice a hoarse whisper.

You chew your bottom lip for a moment before slowly shaking your head. Thinking about it, even if you didn’t care for Jungkook, he still deserves to know on pure principle. “No. I won’t tell him.” She lets out a soft sigh of relief, which has you tacking on, “Because it’s not my place to tell him, it’s yours.”

“Yeah,” she mumbles. “Okay.” She doesn’t say anything more beyond that, falling into a listless stupor, all of her energy sapped from the quick argument and endless cocktails from the bar.

After you wrestle her out of her clothes and put on a long nightgown, she tucks easily into bed. You leave a glass of water on the bedside table for her, then exit the room and head to your own.

A pang of uncertainty refuses to quell in the pit of your stomach. You toss and turn most of the night, falling into a fitful sleep just before the sun begins to kiss the horizon. It’s going to be a long day…a battle of wills you never saw coming.

🥀🥀🥀

Jungkook

Today is the big day, and Jungkook couldn’t be happier. Nothing could possibly bring him down from the high he’s feeling. Not even the fact that he is unable to find the cufflinks that were passed down to him by his father.

“Did you check the pockets of all your pants?” Jimin, Jungkook’s best friend, asks from where he’s lounging in one of the chairs on the other side of Jungkook’s hotel room.

“Yes,” he mutters, dumping his entire suitcase onto the bed to rifle through it once again. “I remember putting them with the pile of Hayun’s—oh fuck.”

“That’s great,” Taehyung sighs. “So my sister probably has them.” He checks his watch. “We don’t really have time to go on a scavenger hunt through her room. Jimin and I are supposed to meet the photographer to get started on some of the bride and groomsmen shots.”

Jungkook purses his lips and rakes his hands through his hair as he thinks of a solution. “I’d go look myself, but what if I run into Hayun between here and there? She specifically requested that we not see each other until the ceremony.”

Taehyung hums lightly. “I think I have an idea. The other girls don’t meet for pictures until after we’re done. So…yeah…okay…done,” he murmurs, tapping away at his phone screen. “If they’re in Hayun’s things, they’ll be delivered to you soon.”

“Thanks, Taehyung, you’re a lifesaver.”

Minutes later, Jungkook finds himself alone, Taehyung and Jimin having gone to meet with the photographer. Somewhere out there, beyond the confines of his room, his fiancee is probably smiling and laughing as she poses in front of the camera. If only Jungkook could see through walls. He’d give anything for even just a little glimpse of his bride-to-be.

When Jungkook first met Hayun almost six years ago, he nearly tripped over his own feet trying to track her scent. The meeting he was heading for was instantly forgotten, replaced by a visceral need to discover the source of that titillating aroma that had his hindbrain firing on all cylinders.

Never before had Jungkook experienced something so…primal. It was both alarming and utterly fascinating. Amongst the harsh scents of car exhaust and the warm notes of roasted coffee, Jungkook wove his way through the crowd on the sidewalk to the doors of a little cafe; Hayun was inside, ordering a matcha tea to-go, and the rest was history.

Jungkook sighs, forcing himself to stop daydreaming and fiddling with his shirt's empty cuffs and focus on putting together the rest of his suit.

The scent hits Jungkook a moment before the sound of a soft knock reaches his ears. He’s standing in the ensuite bathroom, mid-skin care routine. Wiping his wet fingers off onto a towel, he draws in a deep breath to confirm the aroma wafting to him from beyond the door of his room.

A roguish smirk quirks up one side of his mouth as he exits the bathroom and moves across the room. Unable to help himself, he opens the door. “Hayun,” he chuckles, fingers wrapping around the doorknob, “I thought we agreed that you…you are not Hayun.” The words tumble from his suddenly numb lips, rasping past his too-dry tongue.

“Umm, no. Not Hayun, sorry. You’re Jungkook?”

The woman standing before him is clearly not his fiancee. The woman’s purple gown is familiar, Jungkook knowing it’s what Hayun chose for her attending party. You’re a friend of Hayun, clearly, yet you smell exactly like Hayun…if Hayun smelled like Hayun times a thousand. The fragrance slams into his olfactory system, and the edges of his vision grow blurry a moment before he shakes his head and steadies himself with a hand on the doorjamb.

“Yeah,” he whispers, voice raspy with his suddenly dry throat. Revelations pounding him right between the eyes, washing through his body and keying right into his most basic of instincts.

Jungkook watches as your nostrils flare, and he knows it’s in that moment that you register his cedar and lavadin scent; the scent that marks him for what—who—he is.

“Jungkook,” you repeat his name, and he wants to howl with delight at how it sounds coming from your lips. “No. You can’t…it’s not—” your voice cuts off a second before you drop the small, black leather box you were holding and turn, disappearing in a flash of violet tulle and silk.

����🥀🥀

“Stop! Wait, please!” The shout of your name follows you down the hall, but you’re too focused on getting as far away from him and the feelings threatening to overwhelm you as you can.

“No, no, no,” you chant under your breath as you move as swiftly as the slippered feet will allow you to go without tripping yourself up.

It’s clearly not fast enough. It only takes a few frantic beats of your heart before a firm grip on your elbow draws you to a stumbling halt. The touch is electric, and your skin flushes with goosebumps at the heated contact.

“Don’t run,” Jungkook pants. “Please.”

You wretch your arm from his grip and whirl on him, a sharp remark ready on the tip of your tongue. Only, it dies there, never to be uttered, as your heart thumps violently in response to the look on his face—pure anguish.

Your voice is thread-thin as you finally manage to get words out, “This can’t be happening.”

Jungkook’s brow twitches, his lips tucked between his teeth. His emotions are stark on his face, and the conflict is raw and bare to you. Clearly, he’s warring the same as you, maybe even more so.

“Why do you smell like Hayun?” he asks, his voice soft in contrast to the raging storm you see in his eyes. “Why do you smell more like my true mate than she even does? Is this some wicked, cruel prank?”

You shake your head, intentionally drawing a breath through your mouth in hopes of saving your nose from another assault of his perfect scent. But, instead, his flavor laces over your tongue and slides down your throat to sit like a knot in your belly. You might as well have licked a stripe up his neck for all the good that did.

“I-I don’t know,” you choke out, trying to keep the pool of saliva under your tongue from dripping down your chin.

Jungkook steps closer to you, leading with his nose. He sniffs the air around you and something must not sit well with what he discovers because he rears back and bares his teeth. “Of course,” he mutters as his eyes drop to your left wrist.

Your eyes track his movement as he scoops up your wrist in a loose grip, and you realize it’s the bracelet there that has his attention. Everything clicks into place, and you feel like the faintest breeze could sweep you away with how lightheaded you’re feeling at this moment.

“We traded,” you whisper as if speaking low enough means the admission won’t utterly destroy the world as you know it.

“She’s not my true mate,” he states, voice as low as yours, fevered and quiet. “You are.”

Those words punch you in the chest, nearly taking you to your knees. If it weren’t for the hold Jungkook has on your wrist, you’re sure you’d be in a heap on the floor. As it is, he catches his other arm around your waist as you sway on the spot.

“Y-you shouldn’t.” Your protest is stilted, the words feeling robotic and unnatural as you gingerly press a hand against the arm that’s angled around your ribs. It was your intention to push his touch away, but the most you accomplish is flexing your fingers against the smooth cotton covering his thick bicep.

Somehow, you find yourself back in the room you had fled from just a few minutes ago. Jungkook settled you on the bed and is now pressing a chilled water bottle into your hands.

He kneels before you, headless of putting wrinkles in his black dress slacks. He’s wearing a thin white undershirt, his starched white button-up undone over it. The cuffs of the sleeves flop as he brings his hands into his lap and picks at the edges of his thumbnails.

Your eyes rove the room, catching on the black leather box still sitting on the floor by the door where you dropped it. Inside the box is nestled a pair of golden cufflinks—a pair you now understand have been passed down through the generations of Jeon men.

Absently, you press your thumb to your phone, unlocking it to reveal the text message that has irrevocably changed your life forever.

If you had known Taehyung’s text message requesting help would have led you to where you are right now, you’d probably have ignored it.

Yet, at the same time, if you had, you’d probably have had this revelation with Jungkook in the middle of the ceremony, and it would have caused all sorts of untoward chaos. No, it’s far better that it’s happening now instead of later. Maybe you can get ahead of this and fix it somehow. Though…

“Hey? You okay?” Jungkook interrupts your thoughts. “Fuck, that’s a stupid question. Sorry.”

“Huh? Oh. Umm…yeah. I don’t—what do we do now?” You turn your phone over, finger ghosting over the power button to lock the screen once more.

Jungkook sighs, and you can’t help watching the rise and fall of his shoulders, framing the swell of his defined chest with the action. He’s an exquisite specimen of masculinity, and even if it weren’t for the musky notes of his scent that mark him as your true mate, you’d find him devastatingly attractive.

“We need to tell Hayun. I c-can’t…I can’t marry her. Not when I’ve found—” he cuts off, wincing as his voice breaks. “I should go and find her. Now, before this can go any further. I’m sorry. I’ll, uh, I’ll find you later, okay?”

“Wait,” you call after him. He stops halfway to the door and glances back at you over his shoulder. “Shouldn’t we tell her together?”

Jungkook chews the inside of his cheek a moment, his eyes flicking over your face as he thinks through your suggestion. Slowly, he nods. “Yeah, maybe that’s for the best.”

There is palpable tension between you and Jungkook as you follow behind him out of the main building. He texted Jimin, knowing he’d be the most reliable with his phone on him, asking where the photos were currently taking place.

It only took a few minutes for Jimin to respond that they were almost finished but were currently capturing some group shots on the walking path by the lake on the backside of the property.

You’re vaguely aware of where the lake is located, having given the map of the grounds that was posted on the backside of your room’s door a cursory look the day you arrived. It’s a relatively short distance, yet it feels like miles with the weight of pure dread sitting firmly on your shoulders.

At least it’s not a feeling you’re experiencing alone. Jungkook is right there with you, and you can clearly see the unease in the stiff way his body moves. The tips of his fingers twitch back in your direction every few steps like he’s fighting off the urge to slip them between your own.

The first person you catch sight of is Yoona, the photographer. She’s squatting in the grass, her large DSLR camera held up to her face, as she captures candid moments of Hayun, Taehyung, and Jimin repositioning themselves along the lake's edge.

Your heart squeezes hard at how beautiful Hayun is in her form-fitting silk ivory, off-the-shoulder wedding gown, the lacy bell sleeves fluttering around her hands. Her head is thrown back, the peel of her carefree laughter carrying to you and further crumbling your soul into a million pieces. You ache, not just for the desire to draw closer to your true mate, but for the inevitable aftermath of what is about to happen.

Taehyung is the first to notice you and Jungkook. The smile on his face slowly disappears, replaced by a concerned frown. Hayun catches his expression and follows his line of sight. Her gaze sears into you, and you feel like you might combust into a cloud of ash at any second with the irritation contained in her pretty brown eyes.

“What’s going on?” Hayun exclaims, throwing her hands up in a frustrated manner as she stalks towards you and Jungkook. “It’s not time for your photos yet,” she tells you before her eyes swing to Jungkook. “What happened to not seeing me before the wedding? That was your rule!”

“Hayun, we need to talk.”

“Talk about wh—” she cuts off, her question turning into a gasp. Your wide eyes flick to you. “You told him?”

“What? No!”

Your protest rings out at the same time that Jungkook says, “She’s my true mate.”

A breeze kicks up, sweeping from behind you and tossing errant strands of hair across Hayun’s forehead. You’d give anything for the power to pluck the wind from the air, shove it back…keep it from showering her with yours and Jungkook’s combined scents—a blatant confirmation echoing the words Jungkook just let loose.

Hayun stiffens. Her jaw goes rigid, and her face pales as her nostrils flare. It’s a moment that will be forever written across the band of your friendship. Betrayal flashes through her eyes before morphing into something akin to somber resignation.

“Hayun,” Jungkook begins. “I don’t—we didn’t…I’m sorry. What do we do?” He spreads his hands out in front of himself in a helpless manner.

By this time, Jimin and Taehyung have come up from behind Hayun, faces wary as they take in the scene with growing clarity. You look to Taehyung, hoping he can see the silent plea in your eyes.

“Explain,” Hayun says simply. Despite how collected she seems, you can see the subtle tremble in her hands and the way the muscles in her neck continue to flex and strain as she clenches and grinds her teeth.

Jungkook launches into recounting the events that brought you to his room and broke the proverbial dam. “We—we had no idea. I swear this is the first time we’ve ever met, and gods, the bracelets…” Jungkook trails off, a pained sound rumbling from his chest.

“Is this a joke?” Taehyung asks accusingly, and it’s like a barb to your heart.

“We wouldn’t do that.” Your croaked statement draws Hayun’s attention.

Hayun sniffles, her chin jerking a little higher into the air. “My nose tells me one thing, but my heart tells me another. Did you know about this last night? Is that why you pushed so hard for me to tell him?” The last part is whispered, meant only for you, which hurts even more.

“Hayun, no! You know that’s impossible. I couldn’t have known.”

“Tell me what?” Jungkook asks, having heard despite her whisper, his eyes swiveling between you and Hayun.

You shake your head at him, not wanting to throw further fuel on the fire. “Hayun, please, believe me.”

A pregnant moment full of thick tension passes before it fizzles, and Hayun shakes her head, not in a dismissive fashion but in gentle acceptance. “I believe you,” she tells you. “I guess…I guess there won’t be a wedding in four hours unless you two want…” She trails off, a bittersweet smile tugging at her cherry red painted lips.

Jungkook blanches, wide eyes landing on you. “What? Us? No. I mean, sorry…but—”

Hayun holds up her hand, quelling Jungkook’s flustered response. “I was teasing, Koo, trying to lighten the mood. Um,” she pauses, absently twisting the diamond engagement ring around her finger before slowly slipping it off and closing a fist around it. “Can we talk, though? There’s something I needed to tell you today anyway.”

“Okay,” Jungkook says wearily.

“Tae, do you mind…?” Hayun asks, not even having to fill in the blanks. Her brother instantly steps into his role as protector and savior.

“Don’t worry about anything. I’ll make some phone calls,” Taehyung assures her before grabbing Jimin’s arm and starting back down the walking path.

“I’ll just—” you thumb over your shoulder in the direction Tae and Jimin just disappeared in “—be in my room.”

“Wait,” Hayun calls, pulling your retreat up short. “Come here.” She opens her arms, her hands opening and closing in grabby motions. “Please.”

A sob cracks from your throat as you throw yourself at her, wrapping your arms around her neck. “I’m so sorry, Hayun. I’m so sorry.”

“Hush. None of that. This isn’t anything we could have predicted or stopped from happening. If anything, maybe this is life’s way of getting back at me for what I did to him,” she whispers in your ear. “This is how it’s meant to be.”

Hayun smoothes a hand over your back and releases you. She steps back, using the back of a finger to lift the tears from your cheeks, and gives you a watery smile.

You’re not sure you can speak without completely losing yourself, so you just give her a tight nod and continue back on your way down the path. A part of you wants to hear what she has to say to Jungkook, to be there to soothe any hurts or aches…which is a startling realization that you’d not just tend to Hayun but to Jungkook, too. That internal, visceral part of you yearns to turn on your heel and…protect what’s yours.

It’s an odd revelation to think of Jungkook as yours. Well, yours unless either of you reject the bond. Though, that thought makes your stomach pitch and roil. You have to trail a hand along the wall in the hall leading to your room to keep yourself from curling over your abdomen at just the idea.

Once back in your room, you’re unsure what to do with yourself, so you absently start to gather your belongings and pack them up. Every few minutes, you find yourself pausing to stare at the door, ears pricking at the slightest sound from beyond it.

You’re not sure what you’re expecting. Whether it’s Hayun coming to your room so the two of you can cry together or Jungkook coming to claim y—uh, you shove that thought aside quickly because now is not the time. At. All.

The time for the wedding comes and passes without a single knock on your door nor a text or call on your phone. You’re tempted to go looking. For what, you’re not entirely sure—an answer, maybe, some sort of direction on what you should do now.

Finally, after hours of sitting in silence with just your thoughts for company, a soft knock sounds at your door. The long hem of your dress nearly trips you up in your haste to make it to the door. It swings open, and for some reason, your stomach drops, the flutter of disappointment heavy and unexpected.

“Hey, beautiful,” Taehyung says, his voice soft and full of emotion. “Mind if I come in?” 

His necktie is loose, and the top button of his dress shirt is undone. There is a tension in his eyes that wasn’t there earlier. It makes your chest ache.

“Sure,” you say, stepping back and letting him into your room.

Taehyung sighs, perches on the end of your bed, and props his elbows on his knees. His chin rests on an upturned fist, his other hand dangling between his legs, clutching his phone.

He opens his mouth, a single word the only thing coming out, “So.”

“So,” you parrot.

“Hayun wants me to take her home…alone. I’m not sure what all she and Jungkook talked about, but I think they’re at least amicable in agreeing that it would be best if he gave her a few days at home alone before they start the process of separating their lives.” You’re not sure if the bitter tinge in your chest is hurt because Hayun isn’t the one telling you this or because now you have to find your own way to the airport. As if reading your thoughts, Taehyung continues, “I can be back in two days, maybe sooner, depending on traffic. Perhaps they’ll let you extend your stay. If not, I can talk to Jimin—”

“No, Tae, it’s okay. I’ll figure something out. Don’t worry about me. Just take care of Hayun, make sure she’s okay...as okay as she can be, at least. Fuck.” The last word comes out choked, and you gnash your teeth on the inside of your cheek to keep from letting the angry tears out. You have no right to be angry. Hell, you’re not even sure why you’re angry. It just seems like the easiest emotion to feel right now, the only one that doesn’t leave you feeling like your world is slowly imploding.

“Hey,” Taehyung says, bringing one of his big hands up to cup the side of your face. His thumb prods at the swell of your cheek, causing you to release the tension in your jaw. “Hayun isn’t the only one I’m worried about here.”

“I’m fine—I will be fine,” you amend. “I promise. I think I’m just feeling overwhelmed. I’m mad at myself for ruining Hayun’s big day. I can’t believe this is happening at all. This…this just doesn’t happen. This is the kind of shit you read about in books, it’s not supposed to be real life.”

And there it is, you surmise—the truth of the matter. None of what’s happened makes sense. It honestly belongs on the pages of a book or in a movie script, not in your real life. It still feels surreal. If it weren’t for the subtle, lingering ache you instinctively know is associated with finding your true mate but not allowing yourself to fully accept it, you’d think this was all some elaborate party trick or impractical joke.

Taehyung smiles at you, but the unease in his eyes can’t be masked that easily. “I’m not sure what to say or what to do. You’re right. This isn’t a situation I think anyone was prepared for or ever thought possible, actually. But, here we are…and we have to face it the best way we can.” He pauses for a moment, looking thoughtful. “I'll tell you what: I’ll text Jimin—he’s a good guy, I think you’ll enjoy his company—and ask him to meet you in the lounge. Have a few drinks, wind down, and try to relax as best you can.”

“Sure,” you say lamely, trying to muster up at least a little bit of enthusiasm.

“That’s my girl.” Taehyung offers you another smile, this one not so tense. “Here, I have something for you.” He fishes into his pant pocket and produces a familiar thin silver chain, a tiny crescent moon dangling near one end.

The sight has your spine straightening. “Right, of course.” You quickly thumb open the clasp on the bracelet around your wrist, letting it fall from your skin for the first time since you put it on when Hayun gave it to you all those years ago. It never felt right to take it off…not until now.

Taehyung helps you swap the bracelet with the one in his hand. The metal feels cold against your skin and you immediately miss the subtle fragrance of Hayun’s scent clinging to your wrist. Though, you suppose that’s what has gotten you both into this mess to begin with. Taehyung explains in soft words how Jungkook explained to Hayun about the scent mix-up with the bracelets—such a silly, seemingly insignificant thing…the catalyst to spark such a colossal moment.

“I’m going to get on the road with Hayun, but I’ll call you as soon as we get to her place and check in on you, okay?”

Sitting at the bar with Jungkook’s best friend seemed like a good idea when Taehyung first presented it to you. But, at the time, you weren’t connecting the dots that Jimin was Jungkook’s best friend. He was just Jimin, the guy that just so happened also to be part of the wedding party that you had met in passing briefly, but he seemed like a good enough person. Now, however, you feel all the awkward tension radiating right between your shoulder blades, emphasized by the silence lingering between the two of you.

You traded in your lilac dress for jeans and a light silk blouse, canvas slip-ons in place of your slippers, yet no matter how comfortable you know your clothing is, you can’t shake the prickling discomfort eating away at the back of your neck.

“Want another?” Jimin asks, nodding to your mostly watered-down rum and coke. It’s barely late afternoon, and as much as Taehyung’s suggestion of a drink sounded like just what you needed, you’ve found yourself not in the mood to drink after all.

“Um, nah. I’m okay, thanks.”

“Cool. Okay. I’ll be right back.” Jimin drums his fingers on the tabletop and pops his lips before giving you a slight head nod and pushing up from his chair.

You watch as he saunters to the long bar, his crescent moon tattoo on the nape of his neck peeking out from the top of his collar, and props his elbows onto the shiny top. His smile is flirty and casual as the bartender, a beautiful woman with long, inky tresses and fiery red lipstick, sidles up in front of him.

They’re too far away for you to hear their conversation, but her tinkling laughter carries across the space, and you know it might be a while before Jimin returns to your table.

Which you’re okay with. Considering you know you’re not exactly pleasant company right now, you don’t blame him one bit. You glance down at your phone, once again reading the last text message Hayun sent you not too long ago.

Eunseo stopped by the lounge around the same time Jimin showed up. If her smile and lingering hug were any indicator, she clearly had a thing for him. She gave you a small wave goodbye before giving Jimin another hug and heading out. Apparently, she was going to follow Taehyung and Hayun back to Hayun and Jungkook’s place to help Hayun with whatever she needed over the next few days.

Does it hurt that your best friend is relying on someone else, her new best friend? Yes. Do you also understand why? Also, yes, but that doesn’t make the sting hurt any less.

You’re just about to give up and retreat back to your room, which the front desk still hasn’t given you a definitive answer about whether or not your stay can be extended while you wait for Tae, when a shadow falls across your table a second before.

“Do you mind if I sit?” Jungkook asks in a low voice.

He fidgets, threading and unthreading his fingers together while he waits for your answer. The suit he had half on earlier is gone, and in its place is a dark pair of jeans, the knees worn fashionably, and an oversized white graphic t-shirt. Black sneakers peek out from the rounded bottoms of his pant legs.

You clear your throat, forcing your eyes away from his and instead on the glass sitting in a puddle of condensation on the table before you. “Oh, I—uh, I was actually about to go. You’re welcome to the table, though. Jimin was—” You cut off, realizing Jimin is no longer in the lounge at all. “Well, he was here,” you add with a frown.

Jungkook scratches a hand across the back of his neck and gives you a hesitant smile. “Yeah, he texted me. He went…well, that doesn’t matter. Could we, um…can we talk?”

“Yes.” The response is out of your mouth before he even finishes asking. “Please, I think I’d like that,” you say, nodding toward the open seat across from you.

A shaky breath rattles from Jungkook as he eases into the empty seat. “Have you talked to Hayun at all?” he asks after a moment’s hesitation.

“A text message, but that’s all. I’m not sure she wants to talk to me right now.��� Needing something to do with your hands, you trace a finger along the edge of the water pooled around the bottom of your glass and use your other to poke more drops on the side of your cup, making them race down to join the growing puddle.

Jungkook nods, his lips pursing thoughtfully. “She told me what happened last night. Her confession.” That draws your attention back to him, and you wait, fingers still on the glass, intent on hearing what he says next. “I thought I’d be angrier finding out the woman I’ve been with for years—the woman I was hours away from marrying—had cheated on me…but I’m not. For the life of me, I’m not mad at her…even though I know I should be.”

“How do you feel?”

Maybe it’s none of your business, but you have to ask.

Blowing out a breath, Jungkook slides one of his hands across the table and, giving you plenty of time to protest or pull away, slowly slides his fingers between yours, effectively joining his hand with yours. It’s the first time hand-holding has felt so intimate yet wholly innocent.

“Relieved, I think,” he finally says. “Grateful, maybe? Hayun was hurt. As she has every right to be, but she said she also felt relief, too. I think, as much as she said she loved me, she was still holding back even in the end.” With a rueful shake of his head, he tacks on, “We were just a disaster waiting to happen, held together only by the thin chain of a bracelet. We would have shattered eventually.”

Jungkook’s eyes drop to where your fingers are entwined with his, trailing up to your wrist to land on the object he just spoke of.

“I’m relieved, too,” you whisper. Your eyes meet his as he glances up, and you’re instantly captivated.

This is the first time you’ve allowed yourself to really study Jungkook. His hair is tousled like he’d been running his hands through it for hours. You suppose he probably had been and wonder if that’s one of his nervous ticks.

The bow of his lips is prominent and draws your eyes. Your gaze lingers on his lips, making small mental notes at everything you see, like the tiny beauty mark under his bottom lip. His straight nose leads you to his expressive eyes, so dark and full of secrets you want to be privy to.

To say Jungkook is handsome would be a gross understatement. You’re not sure if it’s the fact he’s your true mate or just simply a gorgeous being, but he is pleasing to the eyes, that’s for sure.

You mentally kick yourself for thinking such thoughts about your best friend’s almost-husband after everything that has just happened. It’s not in good taste to entertain these thoughts so soon, right? True mate or not.

Yet, you can’t shove those thoughts away completely.

“Where did you go just now?” Jungkook asks, tilting his head and studying you intently.

Not wanting to explain yourself and the thoughts you were just having, you choose to ask him a question instead. “So, what now?”

You’re thankful Jungkook doesn’t push you to answer. He shifts in his seat and withdraws his fingers from between yours.

“I think we start with…” he trails off, a playful smile tugging up the side of his mouth as he holds the hand he pulled back in the air in front of you in offering. “Hi, I’m Jungkook.”

For the first time in what feels like forever, you smile. A laugh escapes you, and you instantly feel a thousand times lighter with that simple action.

As you take his hand back into yours, allowing yourself to truly savor the feel of his skin against yours, you realize that no matter what happens with Hayun or the fact that you live thousands of miles apart from Jungkook…everything is going to be okay and maybe you wouldn’t have ignored Taehyung’s text after all.

🥀🥀🥀

Jungkook, 3 months later

The flight was long but worth it. Jungkook stretches as he climbs out of the Uber he took from the airport. You would have picked him up. In fact, you are supposed to pick him up…just, not until next week. He decided to surprise you by coming early. He hopes you don’t mind.

Time seemed to drag to a near stand-still following that fateful day at the bed and breakfast where he was so sure he’d be joining his life with Hayun’s officially. No one could have anticipated what actually went down that day. But, in the end, he and Hayun parted ways on pleasant terms, and it’s actually thanks to her that he’s here right now, a week early.

Jungkook was worried that with everything that happened, yours and Hayun’s friendship might suffer. But, surprisingly—and thankfully—you guys have been getting on great. Hayun has been looking at work prospects in Thailand but, from what you’ve told Jungkook, is planning to visit you and Taehyung for Christmas.

It’s been three months, and not a day has gone by that Jungkook hasn’t talked to you in some capacity. From the moment he offered to be your ride to the airport, and you agreed, he’s thought about nothing other than getting on a plane and following you. The draw to you is just that strong.

You’ve expressed similar feelings, already having planned a return trip to Seoul next month. Neither Jungkook nor you have really talked about what the future holds or how to even begin to navigate it. But Jungkook hopes that during the week he is here, you can both begin to figure that out.

Giddiness makes his tattooed fingers shake as he reaches out and grasps the brass knocker on your door. He gives it a rap against the thick wood and waits. Jungkook counts the breaths as his anticipation rises. It’s only three and a half exhales before he hears the soft pad of your feet on the other side of the door.

Jungkook can imagine you pressing up onto your tip toes in order to peer through the peephole. He’d pay money to be able to see the look on your face when you see it’s him. Not being able to see your face doesn’t take away from the dopamine rush he gets when the sound of your surprised squeal sounds through the door.

“Jungkook!” Your shout is followed by the frantic sound of you disengaging the locks on your door before you swing it open and launch yourself at him. “What the fuck are you doing here? Oh, my gods! Why didn’t you tell me? You’re here!”

It feels good to laugh, but it feels even better to have you in his arms finally. The brief embrace he shared with you at the airport when he dropped you off was not enough and is what drove him to try and come sooner than planned.

Jungkook savors the warmth of your soft body pressed against his, your arms tight around his neck. Running one of his hands up your spine, he clasps the back of your neck and uses his hold there to angle your head away from his neck so he can look you in the face.

“Surprise,” he whispers. “I couldn’t wait any longer.”

You sigh dreamily, your eyes fluttering closed for a second like you’re savoring the feeling of being in his arms. “Pleasant surprise,” you murmur with a smile on your face.

Jungkook can’t help himself. He wants so badly to know if your smile tastes as good as he thinks it will. The press of his lips against yours causes you to melt against him, a throaty sound escaping around the intrusion of his tongue as he works it between your lips.

“Your taste,” he groans, forcing his mouth away from yours before the allure of you can drive him completely mad. Who is he kidding? He’s already there. “I need more.”

🥀🥀🥀

Those words do something to you.

I need more.

They echo the thoughts you’ve been harboring for the last three months. You’ve ached with those words, desperately willing yourself to be patient and let it happen when it’s meant to happen.

But, fuck, it feels so good to have him in your arms, to have his mouth brushing against yours. He tastes divine, a warm sweetness that compliments the musk of his scent that is slowly wrapping itself around you.

“Take me. Take it all,” you urge, completely baring yourself to him, body, mind, and soul. “I’m yours.”

It’s a frenzy, the frantic discarding of clothing. Your fingers work to free him of his jeans while also helping him with the criss-cross straps of your lounging romper. You don’t care that you’re still standing by your front door, bared down to your underwear. The only thing you’re focusing on now is how Jungkook holds you at arm's length and drinks you in from head to toe.

“You…are…everything.” The way he whispers those words crawls under your skin, rooting itself deep in your being. You feel sexy…desired, and unbelievably empty—your body clenches, the ache deep between your thighs. You’ve never been so turned on from just taking your clothes off before, from whispered words and a heated look.

Jungkook allows you to undress him as slow or as fast as you want. You try to take your time and savor every inch of skin you expose. But, you can barely contain yourself when you get to his jeans, shoving them unceremoniously down his thighs with your eyes locked on the many planes and angles of his toned chest and stomach.

Your fingers ghost over his skin, eliciting goosebumps in their wake as you explore the smooth and lush expanse of his shoulders and down his arms. Without needing to say anything more, he gathers you into his arms and covers your mouth with his once more.

It’s a miracle you make it to your bedroom. But, seeing Jungkook sprawled out on your bed is a sight you’ll never forget, with his lowered lids and bottom lip caught between his teeth. You want to taste every inch of him, from the tips of his ears down to the defined muscles of his calves.

Now, though, your gaze focuses on the front of his tented boxer briefs. The dark grey material has darkened even further, where you can see the distinct outline of the head of his cock. Saliva pools in your mouth.

You crawl on the bed, knees slotting between his, your hands on either side of his hips. With your eyes locked on his, you lean down and mouth gently at the wetness. You moan at the flavor of him, your tongue peeking out to seek more.

“Fuck,” you curse. “You taste so good.”

Jungkook lets out a quick breath. “You can’t say shit like that, baby girl. You’re going to make me lose it.” He flicks his eyes up to the ceiling, his lips moving like he’s sending up a silent prayer, before looking back down at you. “You have maybe three seconds before I can’t hold back any longer and tear that ass up.”

You chuckle softly, pouting out your lips in a faux sullen manner. “Yes, sir.”

That earns a growl from Jungkook that has heat racing down your spine as you hook your fingers into the band of his Calvin Klein’s and pull them down. He lifts his hips, helping you free him from their confines.

His cock stands so pretty before you, the full heft bobbing against his belly, smearing a pearl of precum against his golden skin. You dive in, licking at the sticky mess before taking the tip between your lips and lavishing your tongue over his slit.

Jungkook fists the sheets, a litany of curses falling from his lips. “Please,” he chokes.

You keep your eyes locked on his as you inch your way down his length, your jaw forcing itself wider to accommodate as much of him as you can. The blunt head of his cock presses against the back of your throat. You take a steadying breath in through your nose before forcing yourself a little further until your throat constricts around him and you have to pull back.

The second your mouth leaves his cock, saliva stringing from your lips to his tip, Jungkook grabs you and hauls you up over him. You laugh, loving the heat emanating from his body as yours covers his.

“What are you doing?” you gasp.

His strong hands land on your hips and tangle in the band of your panties. “I need these off. Please. I need you. I want to feel you…be inside you.”

You want that, too, you realize, your body already primed and begging for it. The sweet, fragrant notes of your arousal saturate the air, mixing with Jungkook’s to paint a picture of hedonism and wanton desires.

The rest of your clothes come off, your bra and panties are tossed to the side, leaving you utterly bare to him. Your inner thighs slide like velvet over his hips as you move your body against his until you can feel the press of the head of his cock against your entrance.

You wrap a hand around his base, angling him perfectly. It’s a slow descent into madness, the lowering of your body onto his. His eyes bore into yours, pouring out everything that has been building to this moment, this pinnacle that will forever throttle you onto a different path for your future—with him. You can feel every perfect inch slide along your walls as they adjust and welcome him. It’s like sliding home; he is the perfect fit for your body, filling you completely.

The pace you set, at first, is languid. An easy rise and fall of your hips as you both learn the body of the other. Jungkook’s hands mold around your breasts, his thumbs caressing over the pert points of your nipples.

“You feel so good,” you tell him, emphasizing your words with a generous roll of your hips. “So much better than I imagined.”

“You imagined it often?” he asks, a teasing tone to his words.

With the amount of teasing photos and videos you’ve shared with each other over the last few weeks, he knows you have. You can tell he’s just giving you a hard time. That’s fine, because you can…

Jungkook throws his head back as you arch yours, letting his cock hit that special place inside that has you both seeing stars. “Fuck!” His hands drop to your hips, landing with a satisfying smack. His grip tightens, dimpling the supple flesh around his fingers. “Can I knot you?” he asks with a breathless moan. You’ve never taken an alpha’s knot. The idea has your body pulsing around his, flooding slick onto his pelvis as you continue to roll your hips. “Fuck, baby girl, do you like that idea? You want to take my knot like a good girl?”

You can’t even form a coherent thought, much less answer him. The only thing that comes out of your mouth is a panting keen, your chin jerking up and down as you frantically nod your want.

Jungkook braces his feet against the mattress and uses his grip on your hips as leverage to thrust upward, sending you forward onto your hands. He’s relentless, pounding into you from below to the point your eyes roll back, and you have to squeeze them shut. Tiny pinpricks of light burst behind your lids as your body coils tighter than ever before.

You cry out as he sends you over the edge, your body careening into an unfathomable abyss of pleasure. The sounds coming from around his cock as it pounds into you are slick and obscene, debauched yet wholly satisfying. 

“Alpha, need your knot,” you mewl, your lips finding the triskelion tattoo over Jungkook’s left pec muscle. You nibble at it, your teeth sinking softly into the skin.

“Oh, baby, fuck…fuck…Fuuuckkk!” Jungkook shouts, the sound turning into a guttural snarl as his body goes primal.

He seats himself completely inside of you with one final, deliberate thrust, and then you can feel the swell of his knot capture within you. It hurts, your pleasure turning into a moment of pain and panic. You squirm, trying to lift your hips from his, but the clasp of his hands on your body won’t let you go far. You whine, “J-Jungkook.”

“I know, baby girl, I know. Relax. Let your body do what it needs to do.”

It’s like those words unlock some inner Omega part of your brain, and suddenly you feel your body rush with endorphins and dopamine as it accepts the thick jets of his cum now flooding in. Like administering a drug, it’s such a fast transition that you feel lightheaded and giddy, sheepish and almost silly over your moment of panic.

“Gods, that feels so…good.” You wiggle in his arms, gasping as his knot pulls tight. You want more, need more of that feeling…need more of his cum. “More, Alpha, please.”

Jungkook pants, a tired smile on his face. You can feel it when his cock pulses inside you, dribbling even more liquid heat into your body in answer to your plea. “That’s my pretty girl,” Jungkook coos, brushing a hand across your forehead. “You’re so beautiful taking my knot, full of my cum.” He curses softly, reverently, and another gush of heat fills your body. “I’m going to take such good care of you. I swear it.”

You fall into a half-sleep, content and sated as you are. There are no worries about the future, nor the past. You are happy…all thanks to a pair of golden cufflinks.

◅ Back to Main Master List ©️   2024-11-05 ColorMePurplex2

[miniaturesuitgladiator]

Did you get enough love?

My little dove, why do you cry?

In which the youngest wayne seeks the comfort of the one he trust most....

Only to remember that his dear older sister is halfway across the world.

(This is written in Damians pov btw)

Tonight patrol was diffrent, the filthy walls of Gotham less quiet. Less hectic as well, and usually I would've been grateful like that but not tonight.

Tonight I'd rather the city be screaming with violence. Just as my heart does.

Maybe then, would I have felt better.

Sitting in the cold leather seats of fathers batmobil (that he refuses to let me drive) he scolds me for my 'brutality' against the criminals we faced tonight.

Claiming I could've handled the situation better.

He obviously has no clue how diminish your enemies confidence so they don't threaten you agian.

So I hold my tongue as he continues to scold me on my performance.

Father keeps looking in at the passengers seat that I'm currently sitting in almost as if he's looking for someone else to be sitting in it.

Truthfully I know that he is.

The passengers seat is smaller then the back seat and this is the first time I actually got to sit here without arguing with my kin.

I've argued so many times to sit here but now that I finally have the seat I've always wanted, I despise it.

I don't comment on how abnormal the night is but I can tell father feels it too.

It's as if something is missing but it's not 'something' it's someone.

The car ride is quiet so father turns up the radio, I know he'd never have done that if she was here.

Father always turned the radio down so we could hear her talking.

She kept the quiet nights loud with her jokes ,and laughter....

Arriving at the manor Alfred patches me up first.

I see how the frown on Alfred face dips a bit lower then usually as he stitches up my wound.

It was always her getting medical attention first.

She'd always come back more bruised and injured then the rest of us.

Nomatter how much father scolded her she never became better at becoming less injured.

Father called her reckless and for a while I thought she was weak ,but she wasn't.

Alfred never had to patch me up first because I'd never came back injured.. Atleast not when she was there.

She wasn't reckless or weak.

She took protected us. She protected me. She took the hits for us.

She took the pain and gave us a smile in return.

Father called her reckless and maybe he was right ,but even she knew he was just worried.

The batcave is quiet and darker. Her jokes don't come and Alfred isn't scolding her like he should be....

Because she isn't here.

I wish she was.......

Laying in my bed the silk covers feel less comfortable and more like vines that trap me.

I wonder what she's doing or more importantly is she thinking of us?

I don't like the distance between us. I don't like the miles that holds us apart.

I see how it's effecting everyone differently now that she's gone.

Father's works later and continues working on projects when he's not working. I know it's just to distract himself from thoughts of her.

If she was here father would come home early just so she could tell him about her day ,and they probably would work on projects together.

Dick tells jokes when the room gets too quiet.

Almost like he's trying replicate the way she acted.

But no one laughs at his jokes and the room becomes silent with a weirded out atmosphere.

Not even jason snickers at Dicks joke like he would at her unfunny ones.

Tim stays up late in his office ,but he wouldn't if she was here. Because she'd remind him every night he needs sleep too.

Duke sleeps in alot. And is currently very close to getting suspended from how many times he's been late to school.

He's never had that problem before because she would wake him up.

Father doesn't comment on it though.

Probably because everyone struggling with the new adaption of our life though.

Cass is more quiet at dinner. Though she never really speaks not even her actions make noise.

Like she doesnt wish to be seen.

Jason refuses to eat dinner on Sundays with us. Claiming he's too 'busy' but no one buys it.

He would've never missed it if she was here.

It was one of her traditions and not even Jason wanted to take that away from her.

But it's not Jason, Tim or even me ruining her tradition.

It's her.

Because she chose college over us. Over me.

I used to think she was the glue that held up the old walls of this manor.

Now, I know she was.

Sleep has become a rare thing in the manor since she left and I wonder if anyone sleeps at all.

I can't sleep so I walk to her room but I don't knock three times like I'd usually do. Because I know she won't answer.

I walk in and step into her unusual clean room. Alfred probably cleaned it recently because it was never this clean when she was here.

I lay on her bed and feel the soft sheets. But their cold and lack the wrinkles in them.

Everything is so dark and untouched.

It's wrong.

I used to lay down with her. Whether I was scared or alone she would hold me.

It wasn't like how my mother used to hold me. My mothers arms felt cold. Like wire that held me bound to her. Nomatter how hard I pulled I'd never get out of her grip.

But whenever she held me her arms were soft. Gentle even. She never me to tigh always lose enough so I could pull away if I wanted to.

I hate crying my mother said it's a sinful act but it think I've done worse.

She never told me that. She encouraged me to cry as strange as it sounds. She encouraged me to do alot of things.

She didn't call tears crying. She said that your eyes were faucets and there just leaking.

Like blood but when your emotionally hurt and not physically.

The day she left I didn't cry. She did.

Perhaps I did and that's why she wiped my cheek softly with her thumb.

Everyone cried that day. Even father. I had never seen father cry before.

Maybe I should have cried. Maybe then she would have stayed.

I asked her to stay that night. I explained that her new college would never know her nor love her like we do.

Like I do.

I begged her to stay.

Father says it'll get easier over time. I don't believe him , I don't think he believes himself either.

I asked father to call her today he denied my request. Claiming she has to adapt to her new life.

He left out the part about us.

That she had to adapt to her new life without us.

'People aren't meant to be kept...Their a gift that one day you have to give away.' Grayson had explained the night she left.

Why give someone something just to give it away? That's cruel.

I hate how lonely the manor is.

I hate how lonely I am.

I hate her...

No. I don't. I miss her.

But most of all I hate how I have to get used to this life.

This life without my sister.

I wish my eyes would stop leaking ,but nomatter how hard I try only she could turn off my faucets.

[totallynotslothhh]

SNORING OR SUCKING?

pairing: joost klein x fem!reader

word count: 3,520

warning: smut, oral!male receiving, mention of smoking, lot of fluff

description: The most beautiful thing about teasing is when love takes over everything, and in the midst of soft laughter and an intimate atmosphere, y/n finds herself giving pleasure to Joost, who lets himself be swept away.

author’s note: HERE WE ARE GUYS, I finally managed to publish something after a month of being silent. I’m literally fighting to stay alive…

I HAVE TOO MUCH GOING ON AND I JUST WANT TO LOCK MYSELF AT HOME and let my fantasies run wild. But unfortunately, real life is a whole different story, so I’ll settle for the fact that starting next week, I’ll finally be completely free.

In the meantime, enjoy this little story!!!

let me know as always if you liked it. I love you all, I missed you so much!

big kisses!

(sorry if there are grammatical errors, I tried my best, English is not my first language!!!🙏)

——————————————————————

My limbs, in that moment, were lulled by sleep. My face was pressed against my boyfriend’s chest, lips slightly parted, eyelashes grazing my cheek and a soft flush had taken hold of my face. My legs, warm and wrapped in thick pajamas, had found a calm resting place against his bare ones -of the man who had been holding my heart for so many years.

My hands rested against his sides, my ears were cradled by the steady rhythm of his heartbeat and the gentle sound of his breathing, both forming the perfect background to the monotonous clicking of the controller in his hands.

It was all perfect. The sleep I had fallen into was deeply soothing: a moment of peace in the hectic rhythm of my life. A moment to remind me where my serenity was truly born.

A carved-out slice of time that defined what I had with Joost.

He was playing on the console, his arms lazily wrapped around my torso, more to hold the controller than to hold me, but still…One knee bent and lifted, the other between mine, grounding me, reminding me of his presence in the most reassuring way.

It had been a chaotic time, intense for both our careers. I’d had to leave for a few months abroad for a study trip, and I missed him the way you miss air when you’ve been underwater too long during a playful breath-holding contest with friends. At first, it’s fine, you laugh, you hold on. But then, suddenly, you need air. You have to surface, desperate to breathe again.

He was my oxygen.

And for those six months, all we had was a screen: messages, calls, photos, videos, only distant contact. Now, this craving for physical closeness was proof enough that the rest of the world mattered less.

What mattered was there, eyes glued to the screen but arms wrapped around me, keeping me warm, protected, silently reminding me that not everything had to be thrown away. What mattered smelled like tobacco and alcohol. What a princess.

“Babe…” The deep voice of said princess reached my ear, blurry and distant, tugging me lightly from the sleep that had been running through my veins for over an hour.

“Babe” he said again, realizing the first attempt hadn’t worked, since I hadn’t even stirred. This time, I let out a soft groan and took a deep breath, shifting slightly so I could rub my cheek against the fabric of his covered chest.

“What?” I murmured, my voice husky with sleep, keeping my eyes closed as I slowly reconnected to the world through my senses.

“You’re snoring a bit, you know?”

The words tickled the nerves in my ear, turning my once-relaxed expression into one of pouty annoyance. I looked up at him, locking eyes with his blue ones, filled with sweetness and amusement.

“Are you seriously doing this again? You woke me up just to say that bullshit?” My tone came out sluggish, tired, and irritated, which made him laugh: mission accomplished, apparently. That only deepened my pout.

I sighed, letting go of his sides and lifting my weight off of him just enough to start moving away.

“Why are you moving? Ohh, someone’s touchy” he teased, letting me go but still keeping his eyes fixed on my face. He knew how much it annoyed me, because it wasn’t even true. And even if it was, he always exaggerated those deep, peaceful breaths I took in my sleep.

“You’re so sensitive” he whispered, followed by another soft laugh as I turned my back to him, grabbing a corner of the blanket to cover myself. I muttered something incoherent and pulled the covers up to my shoulders, settling far away from him and letting my face sink into the soft pillow.

“My grumpy little girl” Joost mumbled, just before the covers rustled again and his warm, tattooed hand slid to my waist under the pajamas, quickly followed by his chest pressing gently against my back.

That one sentence made me smile a little, and I let out a soft murmur when his mustache brushed my neck, tickling pleasantly where his lips met my skin. The trail of kisses he started at my nape continued, joined by the slow journey of his hand, traveling from my side to my stomach, brushing over my abdomen and squeezing gently along the way, making me feel loved.

“Turn around… come here” he whispered, voice low and warm, planting kisses now in the hollow of my neck, his nose grazing my skin in slow, longing movements. I sighed, just to keep the playful mood alive, guiding his wandering hand -this time aiming for my breast- downward instead, absentmindedly brushing his rough knuckles with my thumb.

Moments like these always started the same way: with teasing, with unsaid things, fleeting touches, and soft laughter. It was a pattern: one that often led to intimate moments filled with a connection that felt anything but ordinary.

I slowly turned in his arms and laced my fingers with his, pressing his hand to my lips, leaving a few light kisses before resting my cheek against it and closing my eyes again, hoping to fall back asleep.

But apparently, he had other plans.

“Mmm, you can’t stay still today” I murmured sleepily, chuckling as he shifted again, nestling his face -once more- into the crook of my neck.

“I love you too much” he mumbled, releasing my hand to place both of his on my hips, kissing slow and deliberate trails down my neck. His warm breath, the gentle brush of his tongue against my skin, his lips moving from my neck to my jaw and back down to my collarbone. He molded himself to me, one hand sneaking under my pajamas to rest on the curve of my back, leaving soft, lingering caresses that sent waves of shivers through me.

“I love you too much…” he repeated, as my hands found their way into his blonde hair, tugging and smoothing through it with care. I smiled again, opening my eyes to let my hands slide down to his cheeks, gently guiding his face away from my neck, now dotted with tender little bites.

I lifted his face and met his eyes, noticing how his eyelids drooped with affection, matching the lovestruck smile on his lips.

“Still sleepy?” he asked, his hand settling on my waist.

“A little. I was so relaxed before you woke me” I mumbled, sticking out my lower lip, which he quickly took between his teeth; not to hurt, but just enough to make me smile. A smile that faded the moment our love sealed itself in a kiss.

A soft, sweet kiss -slow at first, all lips brushing and light sighs, lingering pecks and teasing nibbles. The chills it sent through me mirrored exactly the emotions filling the walls of our bedroom, walls that had witnessed so many of our moments together. After a few seconds, our tongues met, deepening the kiss, making it fuller, more expressive.

I could feel his need to hold me tighter, as if I might slip away. His tongue moved with mine, our breaths mingling, his soft lips desperately seeking more of me.

Physical touch had always been our anchor. When words failed, a hand, a hug, a shared silence was enough.

Just feeling him.

Feeling him here.

Looking into his eyes sometimes wasn’t enough. Sometimes, it wasn’t even necessary.

In that moment, I realized how much I had missed him, how much I had missed being swept into this tornado of love, so wild it would eventually pull me into its waves.

We pulled apart after a few minutes, our eyes searching for each other instinctively. The background music from his game now felt like a soundtrack to that moment. And seeing him… lips red and slightly swollen, normally pale cheeks now kissed with pink, breath a little heavier, sparked a familiar flutter deep inside me. A familiar storm stirring in my limbs.

“And anyway, you snore way more than I do” I said, my expression so serious it made the guy next to me burst out into loud, infectious laughter. He dragged me into a small chuckle as he kept laughing heartily, his hands gently squeezing my sides.

“Why are you laughing?! It’s true! You smoke a ton and you know it makes you snore” I mumbled, my own laugh fading while his kept rolling with the same intensity. He pulled back just enough to look at me, reaching up to stroke my cheek.

“You’ve really got a thing with this, huh?” he said softly. His thumb never stopping, brushing gently against my skin, occasionally slipping over my lips.

“You know it bothers me” I said, raising an eyebrow, eyes still locked on his amused face.

“You make it too easy to tease you” he murmured before leaning in and placing two quick kisses on my lips, provoking an exaggerated, annoyed groan from me.

“You’re such an asshole” I muttered, rolling my eyes and placing a hand over his mouth to shut him up, laughing as our chuckles merged again.

“Relax. I love you anyway” he said, grabbing my wrist to pull my hand away and leaning in to kiss me repeatedly, his nose brushing against mine and making me giggle again from the ticklish sensation.

“Stop it, dummy” I tried to say, but his mouth captured mine in another kiss just like the last one.

His lips found mine again, and almost immediately his tongue slipped past them, filling my mouth and stealing my breath. My shoulders curled up in reaction as I wrapped my arms around his, one hand drifting up to the back of his neck to play with the loose strands of hair that had fallen there. He relaxed into me, his hands back under the crumpled fabric of my pajama shirt, tracing my waist and back with soft strokes. After a moment, he pulled away, lips parting from mine with a soft sound, peppering kisses all over my face before flopping back beside me.

I took the chance to turn fully toward him, resting my head on his chest and sliding one leg over his. I rubbed my calf slowly against his until I trapped it between mine, almost recreating the exact position I’d been in before he woke me up. I could hear his heartbeat thudding in his chest again, his breathing soft but now I was more awake, a little overheated.

“Baby, go back to sleep if you’re tired” he murmured, pressing a kiss into my hair and curling his arms around my back again in that lazy, loose hold as he grabbed the controller once more. I replied with a sleepy hum of approval, eyes trailing over the TV where Joost was now fully immersed in his game again.

But I didn’t want to sleep. Not anymore.

Those sloppy kisses mixed with the kind of childish sweetness, only our relationship could make feel romantic, had left something unfinished.

He’d woken me up, and now he was just going back to gaming like nothing happened? I smiled to myself, almost instantly tuning out the game on the screen.

I didn’t want to ride him or feel him inside me, not right now. I didn’t want him to know I was turned on.

I wanted to mess with him like he had with me. I wanted to feel his length press against my tongue, to see his eyes roll back in pure pleasure and his mouth fall open with sounds that would be trapped between these walls. I lifted my head just enough to study his profile: lips tight in focus, eyelids low, and that little dimple on his left cheek standing out from how his jaw was clenched.

Almost imperceptibly, I let my hand trail down his stomach, fingers slowly sliding over his abdomen, stopping just at the waistband of his boxers -the ones with his name stitched into the elastic.

A ridiculous little detail, but one that had told me so much about the kind of man he was long before we became what we are now.

He didn’t flinch. Not even a twitch.

His face stayed the same, locked in concentration, even when I let out a dramatically heavy sigh, exaggerated purely for effect, trying to lure his attention. My hand, which had been tracing the exposed skin where his shirt had ridden up from the movement of my arm, still wasn’t enough to distract him.

I didn’t say a word, I just kept watching him from where I was, and gently placed my hand over his soft length, still covered by his boxers. I saw his eyebrows furrow slightly as he held his breath, though he still hadn’t taken his eyes off the TV.

“You complained so much that I woke you up, and now your mind’s somewhere else?” His voice, slightly rough, faltered just a bit, probably because right in the middle of that sentence, I started to gently fondle that very spot. I could feel it pushing up against my palm with small, involuntary movements from his hips.

“Why don’t you just shut up for a second? You always have something to say, even when I decide to give you a blowjob?” I said the first part confidently, my tone dropping a bit at the end as I said exactly what I intended to do, keeping my eyes on him to catch his reaction.

He let out a half-suppressed sigh, glanced at my face just long enough to see if I was serious, and then his lips parted in a breathy chuckle, right before a low moan escaped as I slid my hand beneath the waistband to touch his now-warm, aroused cock directly. I didn’t take my eyes off his angelic face for a second. I wrapped my hand around his soft length and began stroking it slowly, with just the right pressure and rhythm.

Then I began to move down his body, slipping from his hold.

“You’re impossible to figure out” he murmured, letting his words dissolve into the quiet air of the room, full of layered meaning and perfectly timed in the moment of passion we were about to share.

I knew his stomach was fluttering; I could feel it from how his legs shifted restlessly before opening, giving me more space.

Mine was too; It didn’t matter how playful I tried to be with him, how casual the act might’ve seemed from the outside. Every word would ring deeper, every look would land just right, and every sound would write another connection in our shared love story.

I got comfortable between his legs, resting on my knees. I blocked his view of the game -which now failed entirely to hold his attention. With a quiet sigh, he was forced to exit out of it.

His crystal eyes flicked between my face and my body, still dressed in my pajamas, which I had no intention of taking off.

I just wanted to focus on him.

I licked my lips to moisten them, grabbed the waistband of his boxers and slowly lowered them just enough to free his half hard cock, resting against his pale thigh. I didn’t take them all the way off, just enough to expose what I needed. I took him in hand again, leaning down until my lips were brushing the flushed tip of his shaft. Bent over like that, he had a clear view of my tongue licking a wet trail down his length. His chest was rising and falling more quickly now, and though he still held the controller in one hand, the other moved to swipe away the wild blond strands from his forehead, messing them up even more.

“y/n…” he whispered, making no attempt to hide the gasps and moans growing louder from the pleasure my mouth was delivering.

I smiled softly before adjusting the angle of his cock, leaning in to lick along the base, leaving a slick trail that extended to his heavy balls, which I gently cupped in my free hand. The moment made his hips lift, just like the first time, and his lower lip caught between his teeth so tightly that it flushed red.

I returned to the tip, swirling my tongue before letting another string of saliva slide down the shaft. Then I took him into my mouth, sucking carelessly, hungrily, from the very beginning.

The taste of love.

The sound of his raw, unfiltered moans growing with each pull of my mouth.

His hands, searching helplessly for somewhere to land. His eyes, flickering between shutting tight and locking with mine.

It was everything. That was guiding the wave of the tsunami I was willingly diving into and feeling crash between my own thighs.

I pulled off with a wet, lewd pop, giving him only the briefest moment to catch his breath. He used it to shoot me a dazed, drunkenly-in-love smile, one hand coming up to tuck a few strands of my hair back.

Then I lowered my head again.

I forced myself to take all of him into my mouth. I felt the heat of his cock, the way it pulsed as it slid across my soaked tongue and touched the back of my throat. My eyes, locked with his, began to brim with tears, not from emotion but from the fullness, from the intensity.

I could feel his pubic hair tickle the tip of my nose, which I nudged deeper against the base of his shaft, wanting more friction between his cock and the wet walls of my mouth.

He was watching me.

Adoring me.

The controller had long been discarded somewhere on the bed. One hand rested on his heaving chest, moving just to give his body something to do, some way to process what I was doing to him. The other was gently tangled in my hair, not guiding me, not forcing anything, just holding on, a soft grip made of pure pleasure and quiet desperation. I sucked eagerly, squeezing my eyes shut to fight back the tears of pressure and desire, though a few still escaped, rolling down cheeks now flushed and full of my boyfriend’s cock.

My boyfriend.

“God… what are you doing to me?” that plea, mixed with a curse, reached my ears, yet it expressed all the love he felt wrapped within the watery walls of my cheeks. I slid him in and out countless times, letting the tip of my tongue clash with the tip of his length, tasting the pre-cum: proof that the levels of eroticism had reached their peak.

His fingers clenched in my hair, but unlike before, now they set the perfect rhythm I needed to follow along his shaft. His gasps, his pleas, the thrusts that began to ease the friction between my throat and his length brought him inevitably to a quick climax.

After more sucking and further stimulation from the insistent caresses I was leaving distractedly on the underside of his erection, he forced me to stay still, his cock buried deep in my cavity as he pushed repeatedly, making me emit natural and sloppy sounds and moans.

I tried to maintain the eye contact that had lasted for minutes, but I had to close my eyelids when the warm wave of his seed painted the walls of my throat sticky white. I felt his grip on my head loosen, and reflexively pulled back, coughing and swallowing the fluid that marked the contractions of his sex.

I wiped my cheeks and looked at his face: his softly reddened cheeks, glossy eyes, and lips that now uttered calmer breaths.

There was something sweet, soft, in those blue eyes.

“You’re beautiful… so beautiful” he moaned, pulling himself up to sit, resting his weight on his elbows and inviting me closer.

I placed one hand on his thigh and one on his shoulder, immediately pressing my lips -carrying the taste of the act just done-against his, which held an insatiable hunger. That hunger showed in the voracity yet tenderness with which he bit and kissed my tools of loving expression. I clenched the fabric of his shirt above his shoulder, and when I pulled away, panting, I rested my forehead against his.

He didn’t waste time stroking my cheek, wiping away the last traces of tears.

“If this is the result, then I’ll complain about your snoring more often” the playful teasing tone returned to fill the air, and a laugh took possession of his chest.

I hadn’t managed to tease back, having surrendered to the temptation to give him only and solely pleasure.

But surely I had changed the shape of that joke.

“Ouch!” he said with a hint of pain right after receiving a smack on the hollow of his neck, laughing and resting his head on the bed’s headboard.

“You still don't understand that you need to shut up?" I replied, smiling and leaning over him, making our lips clash once again, ending up feeling the shape of his smile pressed against me.

[pastel0rchid]

A Gift from the Gods (5)

Hiccup x F!Reader

Word Count: 1.5K

Warnings: None

A/N: Hello everyone! I finally got the time to work on and finish this chapter. It's been so hectic since I started student teaching, most days I just come home and immediately go to sleep, others I just have no motivation to even open my computer. I just want to thank everyone who has waited ever so patiently for this chapter to come out. I hope this was worth the wait <3

Previous Chapter .~.~. Next Chapter

Days pass excruciatingly slow, filled with eyes constantly following your every move.

Somebody was always nearby.

Stoic’s orders. 

Usually, it was either Hiccup or Gobber, but there was the occasional moment where neither was available, leaving you with somebody else of Stoic’s choosing.

Now was one of those times.

Sitting on a rock near the edge of the forest, your wings wrapped once again by the rope that also bound your wrists together, you watch Astrid use a small stone to sharpen her axe. Her eyes were locked on you, just like yours were on her.

Like two predators, wrongly thinking the other was prey.

Your wings twitch against the rope, both from being uncomfortable and from the unease of the silence, so thick you could cut it with that freshly sharpened axe.

Hiccup constantly tried his hardest to argue your case with his father, most of the time only granting you moments of freedom to fly that were few and far between.

You felt like nothing more than a pet, occasionally taken out for a walk.

The sound of the stone against the axe suddenly stops, causing your focus to return to the blonde across from you. The same silence prevails as she watches you, her gaze scrutinizing.

It was as if she was looking for something within you, something that you knew wasn’t there.

“I’m not going to hurt you.”

Your voice cuts through the silence, finally becoming tired of the tense air that felt like it was suffocating you the longer you sat in it.

She scoffs in response, an action you had somewhat expected from how she had been constantly reacting around you. Her body was always poised in a position as if she was ready for your attack, waiting for the moment you would undoubtedly strike against her or her friends. Her hand always hovered over her axe that was hooked into the belt wrapped around her waist when you were in her line of sight.

It has grown to become a tiring sight.

“Why would I believe that?” Astrid asks in that same defensive tone she used around you too, another thing you’ve come to expect, “How do we know you’re not working with an enemy of Berk? You’ve given us nothing about you that could even potentially gain our trust.”

“I’ve gained Hiccup’s.”

Astrid’s face scrunches up like an anger you’ve only seen briefly from the dragons with spikes on their tails when being confronted by another dragon for territory. Hiccup had said that they call them ‘Deadly Nadders’, a fitting name for such a powerful dragon.

It seems that Astrid and her dragon are more alike than meets the eye.

She’s about to respond, her lips parted with a rebuttal to your words.

But both of your gazes suddenly snap towards the forest when a twig snaps and a deep growl rumbles.

—

Hiccup had to be dragged towards the blacksmith's hut by Gobber, wanting nothing more than to spend more time with the dragon hybrid they had come across, wanting to learn more about her and where she came from.

He found himself growing a form of attachment towards her, whether it was from his innate curiosity, or something deeper, he had no clue.

His father, on the other hand, wanted nothing more than to be rid of her, seeing her as a threat to their village. Gobber seemed like the only one who truly understood Hiccup’s side, albeit a little reluctantly.

His mind was nowhere near as focused as it should have been while he tweaked with one of Toothless’ spare tail flaps, having gotten less busy after he helped with the weaponry that had been brought in.

Hiccup knew Gobber had noticed this, earning him a few smacks to the back of the head from the Viking himself throughout the day.

“Where has your mind been today, Lad?” The older Viking finally asks after the blacksmith has only been filled with the crackling sounds of the fire and the screeching sound of metal for a long while. His tone was filled with displeasure, his arms crossed across his chest as he turned to face the young adult, “You almost impaled yourself today on that sword I had you sharpen.”

The brunet looks over towards his mentor, stopping his adjusting of the tail fin with a small sigh escaping him. He knew his brain had been preoccupied, less focused than he usually was, less fine-tuned.

He’d been like this for a few days.

“I don’t know. I just can’t help but worry about her since she’s with Astrid today.”

“That dragon lass?”

Hiccup gives another sigh. He was obvious, he always was about certain things.

“I know Astrid doesn’t seem to trust her, but-”

“Astrid has every right to be, Hiccup. The lass is new, strange, she’s not like the rest of us. She hasn’t even told us who she is.”

Gobber walks over towards Hiccup, placing his human hand onto the younger Viking’s shoulder, his displeasure melting away to reveal a look of understanding.

“I know you trust her, I can see it in the way you look at her… but you have to understand that not everyone thinks like you, just like with Toothless.”

Hiccup frowned. Gobber was right, he usually was in times like this. It had taken a while before all of Berk fully accepted having dragons as companions, but they had known of dragons and had studied them for centuries.

But her… she was new, unheard of… a new adventure.

“Gobber-”

A roar interrupts him, sounding loud and too close for comfort. The tone wasn’t like the tamed dragons that resided in the village, it sounded rougher, meaner.

The two rush out of the blacksmiths, looking towards the edge of the forest and finding two familiar figures, an untamed Monstrous Nightmare towering over them with its wings spread wide.

Hiccup’s heart races, watching as Astrid grips her axe and gets into a fighting position while she is left defenseless, tied up, basically being fed to the dragon on a silver platter.

—

The dragon roars again as it towers over you and Astrid, who is now gripping her freshly sharpened axe, her body tense with a readiness to fight.

You managed to stand from the rock, moving a few steps back as the dragon stalks closer to the two of you. You knew how dangerous this species could be, having seen them engulf their bodies in flames in times of distress.

You begin to struggle against the rope around you, trying to find a weak spot like you had once before. Stretching your wings only gets you so far before the rope pushes back, unwilling to let you escape. Astrid had tied them this time, it only made sense that they were immaculate.

The dragon, whose name you had learned from Hiccup to be the ‘Monstrous Nightmare’ (another fitting name, you think), fully engulfs itself in flames like you know them to do. The heat instantly shocks you, causing you to take a few stumbled steps back.

It seems to be more focused on Astrid than yourself, its head reared in her direction and stalking mainly toward the blonde. Her grip on her axe tightens, raised to defend herself.

As the dragon’s jaw opens, ready to unleash the heat from its mouth, you rush to stand in front of the blond. Your wings, having pushed past the sting of pain due to the adrenaline coursing through your veins, stretch it just enough to where the rope snaps and they spread in a defensive position.

A growl, deep from your chest like your father had taught you, rumbles out of you. One that dragons would give when guarding another dragon, one that parental dragons would give with their young behind them. It was one of the first dragon-like sounds your parents had taught you to make when you were younger.

The Monstrous Nightmare shuts its jaws with a grumble escaping it, the fire on its body slowly dying out until all that’s left is the smoke billowing off of it. It copies your growl, leaning down to look into your eyes, huffing its hot breath into your face.

Your eyes glance off to the side, noticing something hiding off in the bushes behind the Monstrous Nightmare… a baby dragon, it’s baby. You had gotten too close.

This dragon was nothing more than a mother protecting its young.

When you look back into the dragon's eyes, you give a small nod and begin to slowly step back, using your hand and body to move Astrid with you as well. Your growl, once protective and deep, had lightened into one of understanding, showing that you were backing down.

You watch as the dragon looks between you and Astrid while you move further and further away from her and her young, before huffing out once again and turning to return to the forest, seemingly satisfied with how the encounter had ended. Its young keeps its eyes on you two before turning and rushing after its mother.

Once the dragon and its young are out of sight, you stop pushing Astrid backward and turn to face the blonde, ready to ask if she is okay, but you pause…

And you watch as her gaze softens ever so slightly into something other than hate.

[midnightloversmusic]

Request for Shane Boose (Sombr), with a girlfriend who makes like whimsy folk music, fluff, with a little bit of anxiety on readers part because his musics getting big and shes so proud but she is scared because hes getting bigger, and maybe she isnt enough now. Please and thank you!!

Heyyy, finally someone I can share my sombr obsession with lol!!! Thank you for requesting :)

--------------

You have loved music since before you knew how talk. You've been making it for what seems like forever. Everything about music spoke to you. Lyrics that resinated with the masses, and squeezed your heart strings, guitar melodies that had you dreamily staring off into space, and piano chords that you could feel deep in your soul.

When you got your first guitar you were 11 years old. You knew you wanted to be a musician from the start. You slowly worked up the skills to make melodies for your lyrics and when you were 15 you figured out how to produce your own music and upload it on Spotify.

You still don't understand how it happened. People fell in love with your music so quickly. they started calling it "whimsical masterpieces" and your sounds started trending on TikTok and filtered over to other social media platforms. It happened so quickly that you couldn't even pause for a second. You put out song after song and wrote lyrics like there was no tomorrow.

When you got a record deal you were thrilled, It was new and exciting. They helped you produce your first full album and got you a tour. You couldn't wait to meet all the people who had made this happen for you. All the fans who streamed your music.

You had never been better.

until you met him.

Your tour manager told you about a new singer, he went by the name "Sombr". you had heard his song Caroline from a few years back and instantly fell in love with his voice. You'd been listening to his music ever since.

You were ecstatic to know that you'd not only be meeting him, but living with him on a tour bus for months. You hoped a friendship could bloom and maybe even be able to make some music with him.

As tour kicked off it was all a blur of busses, endless fans, new cities, but meeting Shane stuck out. Shane was never a blur.

He was truly a ray of light and a center of peace on the hectic tour. He was funny and smart and your fans loved him as well as his fans loved you.

A friendship bloomed quicker than you could've imagined, you hit it off immediately.

Post show movie nights snuggled on the couch. Playing each other new song ideas, jamming out on guitar, and reading quietly beside each other.

It was nice to have someone you could talk to about a newfound fame.

That was until his song "Back to Friends" blew up completely.

More and more people started coming to your shows to see him open, and you were so proud of him, but it seemed that you and him had less and less in common in the months that followed.

You got more distant, your brain insisting that because of his newfound popularity that you weren't a good enough musician to hang out with him. You thought that he would leave eventually and become to big to even remember your existence.

Shane noticed, of course he did.

He had been confused. he thought he'd made a friend and wanted to confide in you about the rapid success he had gained, but you seemed off. You smiled at him, congratulated him, but avoided spending any extra time with him if you could help it.

It hurt his feelings, if he were being honest, he had started having more romantic feelings toward you and was going to ask you out before you started distancing yourself.

Shane started going over everything he could have done wrong in his head. Did he say something, or do something that made you upset?

he knew he could be loud, sometimes too much. He thought you liked it though. He always felt like he could be his truest self around you.

After a show in Boston he decided to talk to you, if it was something he did, he needed to make it right.

he missed you.

As expected he watched you get off the stage and pass him, you murmured a quick and concise,

"you sounded great out there earlier"

but before he could say anything back, you had already left and headed toward the tour bus.

He frowned, and took a deep breath before following you out of the venue.

"y/n!" he shouted after you,

It looked As if the sound of his voice pained you, or startled you because when you stopped walking it took you a few moments to turn around. Internally battling on wether or not you should keep walking.

wow.

Shane thought,

I must have really fucked this up.

He ran up to meet you, his facial expression could only be described as a kicked puppy. His brown eyes pleading before he said anything to you,

"y/n, look I know I'm a lot. I can be shitty, I'm loud, I'm rowdy, I talk too much, I'm too unserious, and I know you can do so much better but I really like you and I need you to tell me what I did wrong so I can fix it. please."

you took a sharp breath in.

The pain in his voice startled you, you had no idea he felt that way about you, you never wanted to hurt him. You were just protecting yourself from the pain that would come when he inevitably left you behind to start his newfound career.

"Shane," you said like it pained you.

Before you could explain yourself he cut you off again,

"No. Don't do that. I need to know what I did wrong, I miss you okay? I miss you so fucking much it hurts. I miss cuddling on the couch, I miss your laugh, your smile, everything about you, and you just left. You're still here but you're gone and I need to know how to get you back and-"

You kissed him.

You kissed him.

You couldn't stand watching him beat himself up over your stupid tendency to hide yourself away.

the kiss was sweet, it was soft and gooey, it was everything you had ever dreamed about. His lips were soft and you could feel his little breaths of air puff across your face. the tickle of his curls brushing your cheeks.

you smiled against his lips and he pulled away gasping softly. He rested his forehead against yours and his eyebrows were scrunched like he was in pain,

"you- I-, you left, Why-"

"Shane," you whispered

"I thought you were going to leave me." you croaked out

"What?"

"You were doing so good with your music, I mean I don't even know why you're still opening for my tour, I should be opening for you now."

you sigh.

"I just thought that once your music started kicking off you'd be so enthralled by the fame that you'd forget about me. I mean I'm not a good enough musician to even be seen talking with you anymore"

"no," He sounded like your words were a knife that sliced right through him,

"You are the best musician I know and I don't know how you could ever think I could forget about you. you are everything to me. Don't you get it? You're everything. I'd give it all up to be by your side."

"Shane," you breathed out

you brought your lips back up to his for another kiss. This one was firmer, passion poured into every part of it. You wanted this forever. You wanted him forever, and you thought he might feel the same.

-------------

[grapejuicestyless]

Paper Crowns

Harry Styles x fem!reader

Summery: After finally having some down time after a hectic few weeks, you and Harry finally get around to decorating for the holidays.

“What do you think?”

My gaze was drawn to the thick, red and green stockings hung over the mantle, embroidered with the first initials of our respective names. Along the brick hung thick ropes of tinsel spread through the deep green garland with pops of red cranberries scattered throughout.

But the real show stopper hadn’t been the festive rugs, or the seasonal mugs, or the extravagant lights Harry and I had woken up bright and early to hang all across the roof and the gutters, but the tall tree that sat squished in the corner of the living room, a small blanket wrapped around the base of the tree and a thick pine-y smell wafting through the house.

It was decorated with a mixture of ornaments and garlands that shouldn’t have mixed, but due to the extreme randomness of the assortment, it felt all too perfect. Each ornament was a souvenir of a shared experience or memory that tied to places that expanded down the Western and Eastern coasts of the United States all the way to the beach-y shores of Australia. Some were collected from our families, old art projects from our early school days, or framed family photos that we used to find embarrassing as children.

There was crumpled up tinsel in all different colors and red and silver and blue and yellow ribbons swirling around the branches. But right on top, sat a beautiful, golden star that shined so brightly, it put all the other sparkling things to shame. And it felt so much like home, I felt like the grinch. My heart had grown three sizes bigger.

“It’s perfect, Har.” I complemented, vaguely aware of the comforting of his hand resting against my hip, pulling me closer to him as we shared a small space in the center of the room.

He smelled of shaving cream and vanilla, and he was as warm as the crackling fire by our feet. We’d spent so much time together, running around in private so that one day, we could both return to the spotlight. Harry now adorned a scruffy mustache, one I was familiar with, and one he had previously grown out during the lockdown a few years back. In this light, one could forget that he was Harry Styles, because under our shared roof, he was simply Harry. Nothing more, nothing less.

“M’glad we found time to do this together this year.” I spoke softly, my eyes flickering from the shiny decorations to the deep greens of his eyes. Only to find that the entire time, he hadn’t been admiring our work the same way I had, but rather he hadn’t been stuck looking only at me.

“Me too.”

In previous years, though Harry and I were both granted a few days off from our hectic work schedules to enjoy the holidays with family, the weeks leading up to it never seemed to synchronize. But, a bare home is a sad one, so when eventually, snow began to turn into slush and our house looked eerily dark compared to the other houses around the block, one of us would end up setting up the house in the quiet, letting the moon be our company while the other was far away attending to their own problems.

This year was different. Harry wasn’t touring, and the album had been finalized a long time ago. As for me, I had finished press for all my movies, and the premieres had come and gone. I could spend my days laying at home now, tucked beneath a blanket with the satisfaction that it had all washed over, and I had the pleasure to bask in the glory, not in Time Square or the heart of Los Angeles, but beneath the covers with my head pressed against my lovers chest, sighing out in total bliss.

“Theres only one more thing for us to do.” Harry smiled, leading me across the cold wooden floors to the dining room, which had been pre-set with all the plates and cutlery for our eventual guests that would roll in on Christmas morning.

Next to each plate lay a large paper tube shaped in something close to the appearance of a bow. Christmas Crackers, is what Harry called them. Cardboard-like things that were meant to be pulled apart like a wishbone, a harmless game where the winner of the larger half would win a small prize.

I smiled, leaning my hip against the table and watched as he leaned across the table cloth to grab one of the spare crackers that sat in the center of the table next to the stacks of candles.

“What do I win if I get it?” I asked softly, grabbing the end of the game firmly between my fingers.

“Is the prize not enough?” Harry laughed, his eyes crinkling happily as he bared all his teeth in his smile.

“How about a kiss. Just to satisfy my cold heart.” I teased, and he didn’t argue. We both knew that despite the result, I’d get what I wanted either way. It was Christmas time after all.

“What if I win?” He raised a brow. “What do I get?”

I hummed, watching his grip tighten around the other end, his fingers flexing under the strength of it.

“Anything you want, my love.” I promised him softly, blush rising on both of our warm cheeks at the open promise.

Harry simply nodded with a teasing smirk, counting down softly under his breath, but skipping the two and jumping to three like he often did before his songs.

There was a short battle before a loud pop sounded, and as we looked down at our hands, I was surprised to find the larger half attached to where I held on.

Inside there was a bottle opener shaped like a reindeer. It was dull and already rusting, but it wasn’t really the prize I cared about, not when Harry was already wrapping his arms around me with a loving grin, drunken in his gaze as his eyes locked onto mine.

There was a paper crown too, purple and delicate. His fingers fiddled with the material before slotting it on my head, and pressing his palms against my cheeks.

When he kissed me, I felt warmth expanding in my chest down to my cold feet, and I swore his lips were meant for mine because they fit so damn perfectly against mine every single time.

When he pulled back, it was with a shaky laugh, and a touch of his mouth to the tip of my nose. The moment felt golden, like something I’d stolen from the world, and I was happy to have gotten away with it.

“Merry Christmas, Harry.” I couldn’t help but giggle at the sappiness of it all. The giddy feelings had me reeling, making me forget for a moment that I wasn’t a young girl in love anymore, but the woman that had proudly grown beside him.

“Merry Christmas, love.”

[yuyusgirlie]

[1:15 pm]

The sounds of the house were eerily quiet as you padded around the living room. Your steps were soft as you paced, but every step felt like you were walking with bricks attached to your feet. How were you going to bring this conversation up to your husband? You knew deep down there was nothing to fear and that he would always support you. But at the same time, the idea of such a big change… it was terrifying. 

Standing in the centre of the room, you took a deep breath in and slowly let it out, letting your eyes close and at least some of the stress melt away. Once you opened your eyes, you looked down the hall to find your husband’s office door open, with his light on. 

You walked down the hallway and stood in the doorway, watching your husband type away on his office computer. Yunho was very focused on whatever he was working on, finally locking in on his work after a morning of hectic meetings that you could hear from down the hall. After a few moments he noticed a presence and looked up to find you watching him. He smiled and pushed away from his desk to take a quick break with the person he loves. “Hello love,” he says as he pulls you in for a hug. 

You wrap your arms around him and feel the rest of your stress melt away as the conversation you knew you needed to have began to feel less and less daunting. 

“Decided to visit your favourite boy during work today?” 

You laughed and lightly hit your forehead against his chest before pulling back to look him in the eye, “Of course, but I also wanted to chat with you, is now a good time?”

“Anytime is a good time with you,” He said with the cheesiest wink imaginable. 

Regardless of how serious a conversation may need to be, there was always a level of foolishness that Yunho brought to every conversation. Often times it was welcomed, there are some times where he knows it isn’t the right move and he avoids it, but there was always a level of comfort that the sillness provided. 

With a big sigh, you decided to speak, “Yunho, I’m late.” 

He looks down at you with his big eyes, slightly swaying from side to side with you in his arms, almost dancing to a tune in his head. “Oh love, that’s ok, where are you planning on going?” 

“No Yunho, I’m late.” 

“Oh.” And everything stops. 

The movement from side to side, the silly noises, he’s now locked in. “How late?”

“We are now on day 3.”

“Oh that’s pretty late.” 

The silence that follows is thick, you both know what this could mean. It felt like hours had passed in the mere seconds both of you stared at each other. He continued to hold you as you froze together. 

“Well…” After far too long of agonizing silence, he finally decided to say something. “It was bound to happen eventually with how much w-” “YUNHO.” 

You both looked at each other again, at this point you couldn’t hold back the laughter and overwhelming emotions. He was laughing and looking down at you as you laughed with him, tears starting to fall. 

“Awwww my baby, don’t cry, it’s all going to be ok.” He pulled you in tighter, one hand on your back moving up and down slowly, while the other was pulling your head to his chest. “No matter what happens we will be ok.” 

The tears won’t stop streaming down your face and you pull him closer to you, trying to surround yourself in him. You knew deep down everything was going to be ok, but the possibility of such a big change was a scary thought. 

You pull back a bit to look up at him, your eyes red from the tears. He looks at you with his classic pout, moving his hand from your head to wipe away your tears. “Aww, my love. What do you need from me right now?” 

“Just you.” 

“You always have me.” His hand stays on your cheek as he wipes away and stray tears and strokes your face softly. 

“Did you take a test?” He asks gently, almost afraid to scare you. 

“No I wanted to tell you first.” 

“Well thank you for telling me.” He says with a smile. “But our next step should probably be to get a test. I can run out and get you on.” 

“Ok.” You say in almost a whisper. “Yuyu?” 

“Yes love?” 

Both of you haven’t moved as you continue to look for comfort in his arms. 

“What if it’s positive?” 

“Then we will talk about what you want to do and go to the doctor.” He says warmly, starting to sway side to side. 

“What do you want?” 

“I want you to be happy and healthy. If that means we have a family a little sooner than expected then we do that, and if it means we don’t then we don’t.” 

You can feel the tears coming back as you hide your face in his chest once more. The feeling of every possibility is anxiety-inducing, but having Yunho there to support your every step fills you with an overwhelming feeling of love.

He continues to sway you both gently from side to side until you’re ready to face the daunting next step to reveal the truths. But right now you knew two things. One: everything was going to be fine, and two: Yunho will always be there for you. 

[coff-in]

Okie so I was thinking about requesting for a while but never stuck with an idea. Maybe something with a reader who has been neighbors with the graves since they lived in the apartments. Like they’re a tad younger than Ashley (about two years) and looks up to the both of them like they’re older siblings and follows them around like a lost puppy. Like reader’s parents would want them to make friends with other kids but they refuse because “I want Leyley and Andy:(“ . They’re a little too touchy during childhood to both siblings, and it might bother Andrew and Ashley (Ashley a little more than Andrew lol) but eventually the neighbor mellows out. They’re still sweet and kind to those around them but they’re not as physically touchy and trying to talk to other people. Like, reader explains they can’t make it to a hangout cause they made plans with other people and the Graves siblings are like “Wait, this isn’t how it’s supposed to go-“ And now they unconsciously try to do anything to get reader to stay with them and isolate them from others. Like taking any opportunity to get what they want. Andrew’s sick? How about you skip your date to help him out? Their parents are gone for a while? Sleepover time! Just like we used to do when we were little! Oh you can’t find you’re sleeping bag and it’s conveniently colder than Antarctica? Cuddle time! You’re now stuck between two attractive goth siblings. And you’re not gonna ever leave. Ever.

notes from coff-in: i feel it in my heart (and in my delusional head) that ashley would constantly sneak over to [reader]'s place to hang out with them. and if ashley's going then andrew has to follow her to make sure she doesn't cause any trouble.

[gender neutral] reader-insert

[reader] following around leyley and andy put put her very on edge. why the fuck are you following them around?! are you trying to steal andy's gaze, you fucking floozy? go away! back off! andy's is hers!! it would take befriending leyley first before you can actually hang out with them both, and befriending leyley can take a lot. she's whiny, and clingy, and pushes and pulls [reader] away and close all the time. like an ocean of insecurity... but they're finally able to safely traverse her waves.

andy appreciates [reader]'s patience. he's also happy that ashley was able to make a genuine friend. they both found [reader]'s fixation on them weird, like go hang out with someone else already! but eventually [reader]'s unstoppable force clashed with them, the unmovable objects, and they were able to be friends. best friends, even! with friendship bracelets, sleepovers, going out to parks or streets together; honestly three peas in a pod.

other people think you're weird for hanging out with the graves siblings as much as you do. some girls talk [reader] being so brave to touch andrew so brazenly with ashley around. it's not too much of a big deal- i mean, you can't touch him for too long without giving ashley some attention too :3

and then [reader] gets older, they notice how distant they get. sure, school can be pretty hectic and busy but surely you would still have time for them, right? why aren't you coming over as much? sure, their mom isn't the most welcoming... but they can still come over to your place! oh... you're busy studying... and tomorrow you'll be out with other friends... well, they can join you! problem solved :)

ashley throws a fucking tantrum over [reader] having other friends. what do you mean you have other friends?! are you leaving them?! you can't do that! you chose them! they chose you! ashley's spreading rumors and fighting harlots in the parking lot in order for you to stay close to them. andrew is less... obvious about it? he offers to do your work (he's done it before for ashley) in exchange for you to hang out with them. simple, right? he's not asking much and you get guaranteed passing grades in return. just snuggle up next to them while you watch a movie together... simple.

they really don't know why you'd throw this away for other people.

-----

coff-in

[placeinthemiddleofnowhere]

Reign down on me - Part 6

Pairing: Ghost x Hybrid!reader (eventual poly!141)

No use of y/n or mention of gender/race

Summary: Reader is a wolf hybrid in a world that treats them like second class citizens, given a horrible start in life after being thrown into the military with no preparation. After years of struggle, they're finally taken away from their base by Ghost, now a permanent member of taskforce 141 reader struggles to come to terms with the fact that perhaps there's a life there for them - if only they reach out and accept it.

Warnings: hurt/comfort, Angst, abuse mentions, self doubt, violent scenes

A/N: Hi, helooooo! Sorry for the long update times, my life has been super hectic. So this chapter didn't go where I thought it would end up going, so there's some things I think I said I was gonna explore that will be in the next chapter instead. However I hope you enjoy this one 💕 thanks for waiting

-🐺-

There was a quiet hum pulsing through the room, the buzz of everyone around you tending to their own conversations and hoppy drinks which allowed you to relax and attempt to tune out the busy environment. After another successful mission, the 141 wanted to unwind- which apparently meant going to the pub for drinks, darts and, according to them, mediocre grub. Although after dining fine on MRE’s for the majority of your life, you had to disagree. That sausage and mash was the some of the best you’d tried. 

Ghost had forced you to change into some civvies before you’d left, which meant doing another embarrassing repeat of the shopping experience hed’d taken you out on. You still weren’t convinced you were able to put together a good outfit, fussing and trying a few different combinations of things, but once Ghost had looked you up and down and given you a nod of approval you’d relaxed.

When you’d all gotten to the pub and you’d seen that less people stared at you while in your new attire, you were soon thankful for the change. A hybrid in military gear drew attention, it probably made people think the area was being worked, but a casually dressed and collared hybrid was apparently nothing to get too concerned about. Huh.

Once you’d pressed yourself to the back of the booth, you barely worried about being out in public anymore. The world was the confines of the table, the edge of it stretching no further than your now trusted teammates. That became all the more true after you were offered a drink and then another and another. Once the buzz had started, the last of your lingering anxieties around being out floated to the back of your mind and disappeared like smoke. None of the other patrons were even a blip in the back of your fuzzy little head. 

“So Pup, what’d you reckon?” Gaz asked, spinning his pint glass around in his hand. “‘Nother drink?”

How many were you actually allowed, you wondered, you’d already had a few. When you turned to Ghost to try and gauge your answer, he was too busy talking in hushed tones to Soap, so instead you employed your backup. Price smiled wryly the second you clocked eyes with him across the table. 

“Like most things, Pup, this ain’t a test,” Price chuckled. “You know your own tolerance don’t you?”

“You think I’ve done a lot of drinking before?” You asked back, innocently dodging his question.

You twiddled with your own glass, rolling it between your palms and watching the dregs inside twirl. Bubbles of the beer still continued to fizzle across your palette even as you watched it dance below you. The hypnotic show only served to further make you aware of the hazy sheen across your eyes, and you were sure that if you stood up you’d probably feel like you were walking on foamy clouds. 

You’d have to be careful. Wouldn’t do to overindulge, you tried to remind yourself. Though that voice was quiet compared to the euphoric beast in you that cried out for more, that wanted to keep going until you forgot about every sordid thought in your head as easily as you forgot about how uncomfortable crowds made you. 

“Well you sunk those pretty quickly,” Gaz said, motioning his glass toward you.

“Not to mention Branhaven has one of the highest rates of contraband seizure for a UK base,” Price noted, finishing the last of his drink. “Reckon you’ve probably indulged a time or two, no?”

You couldn’t conceal your smile. Though your ears soon pinned to your head, realising that the implication that you were engaging in illegal behaviour was floated out wide in the open. It was true, hybrids would often do chores or other kinds of favours for human soldiers in exchange for goods, which often meant working for booze or cigarettes or stronger stuff on occasion. You’d been more than happy to help with boot polishing and patch sewing on an occasion or two. Some nights it helped with the pain, on others it just kept you from going mad.

“Don’t worry, we won’t tell anyone your secrets,” Gaz winked. “I’ll go get us another round.”

You bit your lip and nodded, watching as he made his way over to the busy bar, casually floating around a group of men before seizing an opportunity to break through to the oderous wood top. Once at the counter, he folded his arms over it and leaned his body out ever so slightly, his hips angling back toward the table. 

It was hard to tell if it was entirely the drink, but as you watched him, you found yourself really looking what you saw. Gaz was a well built man, lean and proportioned well, but it was his face that your eyes were stuck on. He looked good that night, his smiles came easy, the full ones that showed his fang-like teeth. They glinted in the soft light when he turned around to say something to the man next to him, shining like pearls. His shoulders were relaxed, back untensed, his body shook with laughter when the other man made a joke. 

Truth be told you couldn’t be sure how long you stared after him, but it was safe to say your roving eyes didn’t go unnoticed. 

“See somethin’ you like over there?” Price asked, jerking his head back to the Sergeant. 

You blinked slowly. Your head felt like it was rushing with syrup, getting flustered but too tipsy to respond with anything smart.

“What?” 

“You’re lookin’ awfully hard is all,” he shrugged. 

The room felt like it heated a few degrees. In an effort to not meet that crinkly eyed grin of your captain, your gaze floated along the arm hed slung over the back of Gaz's chair. However, that only gave you more problems. You immediately imagined him slinging that arm over you, holding you close and sharing his heady body heat. Smelling his scent, bathing him in yours.  

It’s happening again! 

Your ears perked up like lightning rods when you realised that some baser part of your nature was taking over yet another time that week. The feral little creature that usually kicked around somewhere in your hindbrain was clawing its way to the forefront. Now you were practically panting after half your team. You needed to get a hold of yourself, you reasoned,  surely you weren’t going to give into whatever random desires you were getting for closeness. Stupid Pack bond - or whatever it was that Ghost had chalked it up to. 

“I, uh- there’s pool over there,” you shrugged lamely, gesturing to the tables just off to Gaz’s right. 

Someone managed to pot a ball not long after you’d said it. Your ears tilted toward the sound, then swivelled again when you heard Gaz’s familiar huffs and puffs of effort. He was now stepping toward you with a trayful of glasses, clenching his teeth whenever he came close to spilling or bumping into someone, walking ever slower with the wobbling glasses as he realised how precariously they were balanced. His muscles bulged a little with the effort. 

Price caught your stupid staring again, but he didn’t say anything about it this time. His eyes just narrowed knowingly at you, not with accusation but with concealed humour. You could tell by the subtle pull of his lip. 

“Gazzy. You up for a game?” Price barked.

“Depends, what are we playing?” Gaz asked, raising a brow as he snatched his pint.

He took a sip of it, coating his upper lip in a little sheen of foam. He licked it off in short order. 

“The wolf wants to play pool,” Price said. 

Price once again interrupted your brain fog from taking over. Knowing full well that he would be wearing that same stupid ‘I know what you’re thinking’ look on his face, you looked up at Gaz and reached out for your own drink. That one had to be your last before - god forbid - you were left drooling over anyone else. 

“Oh yeah? You a secret pool master?” Gaz asked. 

“Oh…no,” you clarified, awkwardly swallowing a gulp of beer. “I’ve watched it being played enough times though. I always wanted to try it.” 

You’d never actually been that bothered about it, you preferred to blend in rather than get caught in competition, especially when it came to games with humans. However as far as any of them were concerned, it was your life’s dream. Anything, as long as it stopped anyone from thinking that you were obsessed with your teammate. 

“You wanna pair up with me then? Reckon you should be on the winning team for your first game.”

“Pfft, winning team? Sure that’s with you, son?” Price scoffed.

“Beat you last time didn’t I, old man?”

“Fuck off.”

Price took a dramatic gulp of his beer then loudly pushed off from the booth, marching toward the pool table as if it were a mission objective. You laughed noiselessly to yourself, but soon had to stop yourself from choking on your own drink when the little demon inside you commented on how nice his big broad shoulders were, perfect for holding you close.

How were you going to survive the night?  

You looked back over at Ghost to try and regain some sense of composure only to see that Soap was shuffling along the bench to leave and your handler was about to follow him. Giving him a slight head tilt in question, you wondered where they were going. To which, Ghost answered by pulling you in close, wrapping his arm around you and leaving you practically choking on his forearm for a second, before he released you with a messy pat on the head.

“We’re goin’ for a smoke,” he chuckled, watching your annoyed glare with amusement while you fixed your hair. “Be good while I’m gone.”

The smile lines broke out under his eyes, and for a ditzy second all you could do was stare. All thoughts of telling him off left your mind, instead you were stuck looking above his face mask, drinking in the glittering pools of his irises and the blush tinged tops of his cheeks. Your tail wagged traitorously when he continued to stare back.

“What?” he huffed, smile still not leaving his eyes.

Your entire body flamed at being caught this time. 

“Nothing,” you shrugged, shrinking back into the chair.

You hoped that the chair would swallow you. 

“Silly thing.”

Ghost gave you a scratch behind the ears then finally slid off to join Soap. However, you weren’t left alone to your own self-deprecating thoughts. Gaz was watching you, his lips curving in amusement. He started to twirl his glass again, spinning it around on it’s axis. 

“So how do you like being with the 141 so far then?” 

The question caught you off guard, but you had to admit it was a welcome distraction. You unpinned your ears from your shameful, burning head and relaxed once more. 

“I like it,” you said simply. 

“Oh yeah? How’s staying with Ghost?”

“Oh uh, Ghost is nice. It’s been cool having my own room,” you said, smiling as you thought about your big comfy bed. “He’s been really good to me.”

Gaz snorted out a laugh before he could stop himself. 

“What?” You glared. “What’s so funny?”

“Nice isn’t the first word I’d use to describe Ghost, but….” He shrugged. 

“Ghost is nice though,” you frowned, body growing tense at the hint of any accusations of the contrary. 

“Sure, when he’s not telling awful jokes or burning holes into your head with that stare he has,” Gaz laughed, outstretching his hands and wiggling his fingers. “I’m from Manchester and I’m gonna steal your soul with me spooky eyes.” 

You giggled at his terrible impression, back unfurling from its defensive hunch, then hit his hands away playfully. Normally you would’ve worried about the repercussions of doing something like that to a superior, but the drink was still buzzing through your head and if that weren’t enough Gaz’s smile shone brightly back at you. 

“Ghost isn’t spooky,” you affirmed.

“Seriously? Next you’ll tell me that you don’t live in a big haunted castle together.”

“We don’t!” You laughed.

“I bet it has skeleton decorations everywhere. Skull pillows and skeleton paintings, table and chair legs shaped into bones.”

“No!”

“Really? Damn, the man isn’t as predictable as I thought…but honestly tell me. Does he have little skeleton jammies? You can’t seriously tell me that he doesn’t keep the skull look going when he gets home. He probably sits and watches Netflix with his skull top and bottoms and skeleton cuddly toy and skeleton sockies. No? Genuinely?”

You only continued to laugh and shake your head, denying his silly accusations. Gaz smiled back at you, shifting his eyes over you as if he were cataloguing every sign of your delight. 

“Oi, time for hilarities is over,” Price said, appearing through the parting crowds. “get ready to get your arses handed to ya. I got us a table”

“You sound awfully confident, Captain,” Gaz said, scraping his chair across the rough floors. 

“Because I’m not drunk this time.”

“Don’t need you to be drunk to beat you. Got Pup on my team, we can’t lose.”

-🐺-

“Maybe I should sit this one out,” you murmured, flinching as the cue white ball barely even tapped the yellow ball that you were trying to hit. 

Your ears pinned low to your head and your temperature grew as you looked up and down the table and failed to see how you were going to pot even a single ball at the rate you were going. When you’d watched the game being played in the past, you’d assumed it was easy, but apparently the human soldiers were just skilled at it.

Your failure was made all the worse by the fact that Gaz and Price had very dutifully stood and explained the rules and how to use the pool cue when the game had begun. In fact Price had been so thorough on his explanation it prompted Gaz to assert once again that you were going to beat his arse easy. However…

You had taken two attempts and in that time had only nudged that mockingly cheerful yellow ball once. The first attempt where you almost missed even hitting the cue ball altogether didn’t bear thinking about. Meanwhile Price had already potted four. You chewed your lip, hoping Gaz wouldn’t be too annoyed that his tutoring was apparently falling on deaf ears.

“Aw, don’t worry Pup. You’ll get it,” Price chuckled.

“Yeah, don’t sweat it. It’s your first game!” Gaz reassured

He leaned over then and zeroed in on a striped orange ball, setting his cue across the back of his roughened hand and sawing it back and forth like a wary snake. He’d taken off his brown trucker jacket at the beginning of the match, so now his arms were out in full display, practically suffocating inside the short sleeves he wore and bursting to get out. Your eyes grazed along the cue and danced between the thick hairs on the backs of his forearms and up to his biceps, mesmerised by the shifting muscle. 

You missed seeing him finally hit the cue ball, but your ears twitched at the sound and your heart sunk when you both saw and heard the resulting ‘plonk’ of the orange stripe rolling merrily into its pocket. You were so screwed. 

“Gonna hold back on making eyesight jokes now, Garrick?” Price questioned, already lining up his next shot.

“Only if you manage to get that blue,” Gaz winked, pointing to a ball that sat nowhere near the cueball. 

“Easy, I’ll just hit the ball off the side, let it bank left and then it’ll roll into the pocket,” he grinned.

“Oh yeah, easy,” Gaz scoffed, nudging you with his shoulder. “Watch this, Pup. Captain’s about to embarrass ‘imself.” 

“Oi. Keep your shit opinions to yourself!”

Gaz rolled his eyes, but nevertheless the two of you watched in concentrated silence as Price actually started to line up the shot he called. After a few tense seconds of watching him adjust and readjust once more he took a breath then whacked the ball with all the force of a train going through a brick wall. The white ball smacked into the fuzzy green side then banked just shy of the blue striped ball, rolling furiously into the pocket straight after. It landed with a heavy thunk to boot. 

“Fuck me,” Price muttered to himself, immediately grabbing for his beer straight after.

“Wahey! Look at that Pup, we’ve got two shots,” Gaz said, heavily patting your shoulder. “We’ve got this.”

“Yeah,” you laughed weakly, handing him the cue. “You got this.”

“Woah woah woah,” Gaz said, tilting his head dramatically. “We’re a team, we got this.”

“Well it is your shot.”

“Nah, I don’t think so.”

He shoved the pool cue back into your hands, but he didn’t step away from you after. He pressed you insistently toward the table and caged his arms between yours, taking your hands with his and adjusting them up the smooth wood. You shivered at the feeling of his warm breath tickling at your neck and teasing through your hair. You stiffened up like drying clay when he moulded himself closer into you.

“Don’t freeze up like that, you’re not under attack. Look, I’m gonna show you how to hold it properly and that way you’ll get a good hit alright?” 

You chanced a look back at him and caught a look into those molten honey eyes, knowing full well you were a goner. You’d just have to go with whatever he said. After giving him a gentle little nod, you swallowed the lump in your throat and turned back toward the table, allowing him to slowly arrange your body so that you were in the supposed perfect stance.

His hands were silk, gliding delicately across your arms so that you would place yourself how he wanted. You had to hold yourself back from shivering every time his touch came. Once you were standing how he wanted, he took to laughing and tutting at you until you got your finger into the correct position to support the cue, and only when that was Gaz certified did he allow you to start readying your shot. 

“Ok, take it away, Pup. You got this!”

After a couple of practice slides, you drew the cue back one final time, holding your breath as you prepared to send it flying forward and into the purple ball that Gaz had lined up for you. You finally took your shot, watching with wide eyes as the cueball barrelled forward and shunted straight into the purple, sending it toward the pocket while it landed neatly beside a couple more of your balls, ready for the next shot. As soon as the purple landed fully down, you were jumping up in an instant.

“I hit it! I hit it and scored a point,” you said, full smile beaming as you turned to Gaz. “Did you see how fast it went? I wanna do that again!”

Gaz’s sharp canines were on full display again. His eyes travelled low down on your body and he chuckled, and only when you followed his eyeline did you see that your tail was furiously wagging up a storm behind you. It wafted up a big draft of air, blowing gusts through the old newspapers that were piled on the low table behind you.

“I saw. You did good,” Gaz praised, laughing while rubbing the little spot on your cheek that he always did.

“Yes, Pup - very good,” Price added dryly, shaking his head while taking another swig of his drink. 

With that the newspapers behind you turned from almost the front pages, toward the nonsense stories at the back.

“What’s got you so excited, fuzzy lugs?” 

You turned and saw Soap leaning over the end of the table, slowly swirling his whisky while he assessed the game. His blue eyes rolled from one end and to the other then settled on you, pinning you in place for a moment until you’d realised that he’d asked you a question. You bit your lip and shrugged, trying to downplay yourself a little as you remembered that your victory was being celebrated a little too early. 

“I potted a ball,” you shrugged, trying to hide your mellowed tone with a drink. 

“Oh did ye, aye? You’ll have to do it again for me and Ghost,” he grinned. 

Soap motioned his head to the left, pointing toward Ghost who was taking his time wandering back to Soap’s side. You could smell the cigarette smoke cloying to him as he walked by. It made your nose wrinkle. Though you soon forgot all about it when he shot you a wink.

“Gonna show us your new skills?” He asked. 

Now everyone was watching you. No pressure. 

You gulped and made your way back to the table side, using your cue like a walking stick. Poking your tongue out, you stood for a second and swayed a little on your unsteady tipsy feet, thinking through your next move. Your eyes roved over the balls, moving between the two most likely candidates until you settled on the green. 

After looking up and confirming everyone was still staring, you shuddered. However Gaz gave you an encouraging smile, which spurred you on all the more. A few awkward seconds passed while you tried to reform yourself into the same position Gaz put you in before. Even in your drunken state you still recalled most of the ways he’d shown that you were supposed to position yourself, all the while keeping your hands further up the stick so that you could hit harder and keeping your finger ridgid against it. 

You slid it back and forth, once, then another two times and finally you made your move. The cue thwacked into the cueball and sent it rocketing into the green, sending the green ball rolling forward and flying toward the left side pocket. The ball began to lose its momentum just toward the end, it slowed just a little more and then a little more and just when your ears started to collapse downward in disappointment, it managed to creep into the pocket at the last second. 

“Holy shit I did it! I did it all by myself!” You squealed, perking back up again and grinning like an idiot. 

You turned, making sure everyone had seen it, but before you could take stock everyone you were surrounded by two massive chests. The pressure came quickly crushing you up like a scrapped car. Though you didn’t mind, when your panicked mind realised they were hugging you, you settled into it and wagged your tail. 

“That’s my good Pup,” Ghost crooned, his voice even more gravelly than usual. 

“You did so good!” Gaz whooped.

They both parted from you and just when you’d adjusted to having full lung capacity again, Soap all but whacked all the air from you with a couple of big pats on the back. 

“Well done, furball,” he said lowly, throwing you a sly smile. “Knew you had it in ya. You’re my wee pack mate after all, aren’t ya?”

Your tail wagged even harder at that. 

“Yes, very good,” Price barked, smiling despite the faux stern expression he tried to hold. “You taking your next turn or not, Pup?”

“I get another one?” You gawped, looking at the last few balls in awe. 

“You get one every time you pot. And if you don’t get on with your next one I’m confiscating it from you.”

“Don’t think that’s in the rules, old man,” Gaz laughed. 

“Gotta give myself a chance here, Garrick. You two have bloody hustled me,” Price retorted.

“Oh you think you’re hustled now? Just wait for this next turn.”

-🐺-

You helped Gaz win that game in the end, and as a reward he insisted on carrying you to the taxi on his back. Well, that’s what he intended anyway. He stumbled just as he got out the pub door and collapsed in a fit of drunken laughter. At that point Ghost took over and hoisted you up on his shoulder, carrying you like a sack of potatoes. 

Had you been in any state to complain you might’ve, however you were still riding on a winning high and your head was full of bubbles and fizz. No matter how hard you tried to stop it, your tail continued to sloppily wag even while Ghost carried you, and for the rest of the night he complained about having fur in his mouth. Normally something like that would worry you, thinking you’d annoyed him, but you’d been so carefree you fell asleep on him once he’d lugged you to the sofa. 

You’d woken the next morning stretched out fully over a sleeping Ghost and Soap, jumping up in mortification when you realised what you’d done and running to your bed for what felt like an extra five minutes of sleep. Then as a grand result of your wild night out (compared to anything else you’d ever done), you were exhausted the whole next day. So much so that you’d been flagging through a lot of your exercises, but luckily Ghost went easy and structured training so that you got more breaks and got easier tasks to complete. Whether that was more for you or him, you couldn’t really decide. 

“Sleepy Pup,” Ghost chuckled, rubbing your cheek with the back of his greasy hand. “We’ll get an early night tonight, huh?”

You hummed in response. The sound of him cleaning his rifle had been relaxing, the cloth fibres smoothly running along the barrel while you leaned against his leg and caught up on a little napping. Normally he would send you off to do something while he did upkeep, but given your low energy he was quite happy to have you rest with him while he worked. 

“Alright then, Pup. Time to head off home,” Ghost grunted, giving your shoulder a gentle shake. “We just gotta swing by Price’s office first.” 

“Ok,” you said through a yawn.

Your tail crooked off to the side more than usual, and you could feel the fur on your ears sticking up like an animal that had just emerged from hibernation. Had there been a mirror around, you knew you’d be jumping back from it,though luckily that wasn’t the case. Instead you followed listlessly along after Ghost, plodding through the hallways like a mindless golem after its master. 

“You ok to wait out here?”

It had barely even registered that you’d reached Price’s door. However when your mind came too, you were out in the dingy hallway that proceeded his room. The two of you standing by the chipped paint patch that looked suspiciously like someone had slammed a chunk out of the wall. You slowly nodded when you finally caught up, the joint in your neck rolling as if automated.

“Try not to fall asleep out here. I’m not carrying you again,” he chuckled. “You need anything, just knock.” 

You nodded again and watched him quietly open the door and click it shut. He left you alone in the corridor, staring bleary eyed at the flickering light, absentmindedly falling back against the wall and counting out the seconds between its full beam and little strobe dance. Without fail it would flicker every five to seven seconds. 

Footsteps marched down the hallway in the distance, and your ears twitched to their rhythm. The boots slapped against the floors at a quick pace, and slowly muffled voices echoed from out of obscurity and rang through your ears. The two men became clearer by the second, and before long they were crossing your path, just about to walk past you until one of them caught eyes with you and halted as if stopped by an invisible force.

“Care to explain what you’re doing leaning around like that, hybrid?” he growled.

You frowned at him. The man had dark hair closely cropped to his head, save for a small combed over patch on the top and big bushy eyebrows that fell heavy over his dark eyes. His friend meanwhile was almost completely bald, but had a striking scar across his cheek and a birthmark on his neck. Both of them seemed young, though not young enough that they were too fresh to think about messing with you apparently.

“I’m waiting for my handler to finish his meeting with Captain Price,” you said evenly, figuring it was easiest just to answer him. 

He didn’t look satisfied with your answer though, his eyes lit up in challenge and his jaw twinged as if biting through bone. All traces of tiredness left you in that instant. Whatever was about to happen couldn’t be good, you were experienced enough to know that much.

“What was that?” the man said, tilting his head for emphasis.

His friend raised his brows, looking between the two with a vexed expression. He musn’t have been as familiar with hybrids, you thought dully, glancing at him while still keeping yourself focused on the combover man. If only one of them was going to be aggressive then defending yourself from whatever they were going to do would be easier.

“I said that I’m waiting for my handler,” you ground out, stiffening your posture.

“Waiting for your handler, sir,” the man corrected, his thick eyebrows casting a dark shadow over his eyes. “You have to show respect to your superior officers.”

You said nothing in response, only nodding your head once and gritting your teeth. Technically that was true, but given Ghost was a Lieutenant that meant that you likely outranked them (given that you were automatically ranked the same as your handler as a hybrid). Those assholes could kick rocks as far as you were concerned, you’d earned your right to speak on their level.

“Do you want a last chance to fix your attitude, hybrid?” he asked, tensing his arms as he leered over you.

His shadow flickered in the wavering light and you couldn’t help but think of him as a demon. His friend put a hand on his back and urged him to ‘just forget about it’, but still the man didn’t budge. He continued to loom over you and stare expectantly, though as far as you were concerned he could wait forever. 

He didn’t though. The little shit, took your silence as insolence, and just when he was about to reach out and grab you, you strafed back from him and growled. The sound had the other man widening his eyes, but your main attacker only glared. It spurred him to come for you once again, but again he missed you and then failed to grab you another time after that.

“Get the fuck over here, you little-”

He reached out again to grab you, and finally he’d succeeded, clenching his hand painfully around your arm. However you weren’t going to let him manhandle you like that. You barked out a fearsome roar of defiance and dug your nails, more like claws, into the thick uncovered flesh of his arm and yanked it backward while spinning away from his grip. The yowl of pain he let out interrupted his sentence and sent his friend into a panic trying to drag the man back.

“What the fuck is going on out here?”

The shout echoed out across the concrete walls and all at once you all ceased your rebuttals. Your teeth stayed bared and you continued to pant, staring down the hallway as if possessed by a vengeful force. Meanwhile the two men looked fearfully over at the source of the voice, paling noticeably when they were forced to reckon with your fearsome handler. 

Your attacker gulped, loud enough that your sensitive ears picked up on it and swivelled in his direction. He flinched at the movement, but soon straightened up. The pitiful man held out his arm and set his face in a grim expression, using his other hand to motion down at the bleeding claw marks.

“This hybrid attacked me, sir,” the man said, voice far more subdued than it had been before.

Ghost raised his eyebrow from behind his mask and looked over at you. Once he’d finally assessed the state you were in, he put his body in between the two of you and set to work calming you down. He took your collar in his hand and directed you to look at him, smoothing his hand down your back and blocking your view of the perceived hostile. After which, he took to gently shushing your panting and making calming noises.

“Can you tell me what happened?” He asked after a few moments, smoothing his hands over your ruffled hair.

“Well, what happened was-” the man’s friend began. 

“Wasn’t fucking talking to you,” Ghost growled, not even sparing a look back.

Your mouth twitched into a smile, but Ghost didn’t indulge it. He set his eyes on you with a serious frown and forced a sigh from your lips. Part of you had thought that Ghost might be on your side, but now a little voice in the back of your mind was trying to scream past a crumbling barrier - it told you that maybe Ghost was going to give up on his gentle handler act. It would make sense, you thought, you were a bad soldier, you didn’t deserve the nice treatment to begin with. 

“I was waiting for you and then…I was asked what I was doing and then, when I explained myself, I was told I wasn’t being respectful enough. He tried to grab me and I fought him off,” you said awkwardly, not wanting to meet his eyes any longer. 

“Sir, that hybrid was leaning around - not even waiting at attention and when I tried to address their behaviour, I was given nothing but bad attitude back. I was trying to correct it’s bad behaviour when it saw fit to scratch me up like a fucking feral cat!” The man fumed.

“Correct their behaviour?” Ghost asked, turning to man finally. “How were you going to correct my hybrid’s behaviour exactly?” 

Your heart dropped into your belly. Every instinct within you screamed out that you were about to meet Ghost’s iron fist at last. You were going to experience a lashing at the very least and at worst, he might take everything you had come to care about away from you. Hot salty tears brimmed on top of your cheeks, finally overflowing at the thought that Ghost might’ve only given you all those things so that it would hurt more having them taken away again. 

You made sure to sob quietly, sniffling softly  into your hand so that you wouldn’t antagonise Ghost any further. Tears won’t get you anywhere in the army, mutt, Maddox’s voice chirped in the back of your mind. You almost missed the man’s pathetic whimpering answer.

“Well…I was going to give it a slap, sir. Strike some sense into it.” 

“I see,” Ghost replied, wide back still obscuring the man from you.

You doubted you’d make anything out past your tears anyway. In your mind everything was in the process of being ripped out of your life again, the team were going to look at you like the disappointment you knew you were, your things were going to be scrapped and stripped down to bare essentials once more and you’d never get to feel Simon the cuddlytoy’s soft fur ever again. However you were ripped out of your little pity parade with the sound of a hard smack. 

Your ears perked up and you jumped back a pace or two, looking around for the source of the noise until you looked past Ghost and saw your attacker rubbing his cheek and groaning. For a second, you couldn't quite believe what had happened, but soon enough the man was wrenching his hand away from his face in an effort to save face and it revealed an angry looking red patch of skin. It really had happened - Ghost had slapped the soldier. 2

“You think that’s knocked some sense into you, Second Lieutenant?” Ghost sneered. “Don’t you fucking dare breathe in the direction of another handler’s hybrid ever again, nevermind think that you have the right to discipline them, you self-righteous little cunt. Get out of my sight the pair of ya.”

The man opened his mouth, about to say something in his defence until his friend nodded sharply and began to drag him away. Not wanting to cause more of a scene the man relented, but the way he glared as he turned told you that this wasn’t over. There was a new target on Ghost’s back now. 

However, said back was turning away from you now and Ghost was facing you once again and pulling you into his arms. After a shocked second of fear, readying yourself to be hit or similarly reprimanded, you slowly came to realise he didn’t mean to hurt you at all. He was hugging you and rubbing your back, telling you that it was alright. 

“Wh- what are you doing?” you asked feebly, trying your best not to hiccup or sniff through your words.

“Trying to comfort you, if you’ll let me,” Ghost snorted, slowly walking you backward. 

You walked with him, but only grew more confused as he dragged you into Price’s office and forced you to sit on the old ratty couch and curl up with him. Out of the corner of your bleary eyes you saw Price sitting at his desk and watching you both with concern, gathering up a few bottles of water onto his desk. In front of you, Ghost wrapped his grip ever tighter round you and got you to bury your head into his neck.

“It’s over now, Pup,” Ghost said softly, smoothing over your salt scorched cheek. “You’re ok.” 

“But…you- aren’t you going to punish me?” you asked, freeing yourself from his hold a little and drawing away from his usually relaxing scent so that you could make an effort to think straight. 

“You’ve not done anything worth punishment,” he said gently.

“I scratched someone,” you whined, looking down at your still bloody hands with a wobbling lip. 

“Someone that saw fit to break protocol and try to discipline a hybrid that wasn’t theirs. You had every right to defend yourself. You’re not going to be punished for that.”

“Especially not when the punishment he had in mind didn’t fit the crime in the first place. Corporal punishment is supposed to be reserved for serious offences Pup, not for leaning or having a bad attitude,” Price added, coming to sit at your other side. “Here, take a drink of this. You need it, you’ve made yourself unwell.” 

He handed you a water bottle and gave you a serious look until you finally took it from him and slowly uncapped it. Through a series of uneasy sips, your heart began to regulate and your body stopped shaking. You hadn’t even realised that you had been shaking. The realisation made you sign, taking a couple breaths until you could clear your mind enough to reach some level of proper awareness again. 

“I thought it was all going to go away,” you sighed, leaning against Ghost’s chest when you knew that things were normal again. 

“What was going to go away?” Ghost asked, rubbing his thumb over your cheek. 

You bathed in his and Price’s joint attentions, letting Ghost rub your cheek and Price smooth a hand over your shoulders and back. For a few luxurious seconds you let yourself revel in the fact that you were wrong. The stupid little panicky voice in your head was a liar. Everything was just as it had been. 

“Everything,” you said eventually, voice barely a whisper. “I thought you were going to take all my things away and start treating me like they did at my old base. Thought I was going to be sent to the post…”

“Mark my words, anyone tries to lash you again and they’ll have the entire 141 to answer to, Pup,” Price said, voice coming through in a low growl. 

“And I’d never take away your things,” Ghost vowed, cupping your cheek so that you had to look at him. “They’re given to you as payment for your service to us. They’re not for me or anyone else to take away, just like Price can’t rip my things from me. Nothing’s going away and you’re never going to be treated the way you were ever again. You’re ours, alright? We always protect our own.” 

You stared at them both in disbelief, but couldn’t think of anything to say. The exhaustion and the upset combined and you were left feeling more drained than you had been in days. Instead you settled down back into Ghost’s collar bones and let yourself be petted and fussed over, sleepily letting your eyes close for the last time that day.

“Just wait till Soap and Gaz hear about this. That bastard’ll be lucky to see sunrise tomorrow,” you only just heard Price whisper darkly, before scratching a calloused hand over your ears. 

“Now now, Price,” Ghost murmured back. “Gotta make it look like an accident.”

[azelmawrites]

ive missed you!! :(( I’m so glad you’re thinking abt hange again— might I suggest cowboy/horse rancher hange

I missed the blog and writing and most importantly everyone who was helping me develop the concepts or giving me new ideas to talk about, I missed y’all even more!!! ALSO Hange as a cowboy has my heart. Y’all know what cowboys do to me but HANGE as a cowboy???!!! I remember before I talked about farmhand Hange and rich daughter which was a great concept but this time I wanna lean more into a slightly cliche concept. City girl with the sweet and kind cowboy.

You’re a modern city girl, you’re a fresh university graduate and still clutching onto your hot degree. Your aunt is in need of company and you’re in a desperate need of a break after the hectic life of the city. At least that’s what Hange’s been told by your aunt on one fine Saturday afternoon.

Your aunt’s been very ecstatic about having you around, Hange couldn’t hear the end of it—not like they were complaining or anything, your aunt is a lovely woman and they were glad that the lonely woman would finally have company and someone to look after her when needed, especially after the night your aunt fell on the way back from the bathroom.

Hange didn’t really have any expectations of you, just that you were some fancy city girl with your cool university degree and your cool city life. It’s not like Hange had any hatred for city folk, but they didn’t particularly have the best experiences with them.

They’re all obnoxious and stuck up. With no manners whatsoever.

It was on a hot Tuesday afternoon that your aunt picked up your call, and she drowned you with questions of worry at you being very late to your supposed arrival time. Hange’s mild curiosity is quenched when your aunt says, “Sweet suffering jesus! You stay right there sweetie, don’t you worry! I will send Hange to fetch you right now!”

Then the woman turns to look at Hange and explains, “her car broke down on the way to town, thankfully she is right by the highway leading here—but bad news is that she barely has signal and no one ever comes to this god forsaken town so no one would be able to rescue her—” she’s hyperventilating and Hange places their two hands on her shoulder and calm her down.

“It’s okay, I will find her and go get her fast.” Hange doesn’t even wait for one more second to hear your aunt crying words of gratitude.

When Hange reaches you in their red beat up ford truck, they were taken back at the sight of you.

You were outside your car, leaning against the hood in your tiny jean shorts and equally tiny white tank top, sunglasses on your eyes and your feet clad in brown cowboy boots. It looked like a textbook outfit that you would find if you looked up what to wear in the countryside.

Except people in town don’t actually wear that, none of the women in town wear things like that.

You push yourself away from your car when you Hange exits their car. They can’t see your eyes, but you smile and introduce yourself. Hange shakes your hand, slightly surprised that someone from the city was actually polite to smile and shake hands and introduce themselves.

This had to be the first time it ever happened to them.

“Thank you for coming all this way to get me,” you say and head to open the driver’s door to pop open the hood as you explain, “I think it just needs water honestly, because it overheated and the ac wasn’t working that well before it stopped.”

When Hange took a quick look, your words were true. It was an issue with the coolant water, and it could’ve been solved in five minutes but they doubt a pretty thing like you knew how a car even works.

They wanted to affirm your theory, but it would mean that they could solve it in less than five minutes and you would drive yourself back to your aunt’s house and some other man would lay their eyes on you and want you immediately, and what’s worse you might want them back too.

So, Hange lied, and they didn’t really feel bad about it. “No, the wire for the radiator is pretty messed up too, we need to tow your car.”

Your face blanched, “really?”

“Really.” Hange affirmed, shutting the hood and seeing the luggage on your back seats, “I’ll just drive you to your aunt myself.”

As you stood by your car, Hange strolled over to your backseat without a word and started grabbing your luggage. You opened your mouth to protest but quickly realized there was no point—they were already stacking your bags into their truck with surprising ease.

“I can help with that, you know,” you said, watching as they lifted your heaviest suitcase like it weighed nothing.

Hange shot you a quick grin, wiping their hands on their jeans. “Don’t worry about it. I’ve got it covered.” They hoisted the last bag into the truck and shut the door with a thud, brushing their hands off like it was the easiest thing in the world.

You stood there, a little stunned by how effortlessly they’d handled everything. “Well, thanks,” you said, trying not to sound too surprised.

“Not a problem,” Hange replied, sliding into the driver’s seat again. You followed suit, glancing over at them as they started the engine.

As the truck bounced along the uneven road, you adjusted yourself in the seat, trying to get comfortable. “Do you always rescue stranded city girls, or am I just special?” you asked with a smirk, your eyes flicking over to Hange.

Hange shot you a sidelong glance, a grin tugging at the corner of their mouth. “You’re definitely special. Not every day someone shows up in boots that look fresh out of a country music video.”

You laughed, playfully nudging your boot against the dashboard. “Hey, don’t knock the boots. Thought I’d try to blend in, you know, get that whole ‘small town’ vibe going.”

Hange raised an eyebrow. “Uh-huh. You’re blending in real well, I’ll give you that.” There was a teasing glint in their eyes. “But just so you know, no one here actually wears that unless they’re going line dancing. Maybe if you stick around, we can test how well you can hold your own on the dance floor.”

“Line dancing? I think I’ve only done that with auntie when I was like…four or something?” you answered, unsure. You glance at Hange, catching their own eyes set on you.

“Four? How long ago was that?”

“You’re asking for my age? You never ask a lady her age, I thought you country people knew the basics of manners…” you tsk and roll your eyes playfully.

Hange laughs heartily, the sound filling the truck. “Touché. Guess I walked right into that one.” They glance at you again, still grinning. “But if I had to guess, I’d say… twenty-four? You’ve got that ‘fresh grad but still figuring it all out’ look.”

You rolled your eyes, leaning back into the seat with a playful grin. “Alright, now it’s my turn. Let me guess… thirty-five?”

Hange nearly choked on their laughter, eyes widening in mock offense. “Thirty-five? Thirty-five?! You’re killing me here.”

You stifled a laugh, holding up your hands. “What? It’s not that bad. Thirty-five is prime, right?”

“Yeah, sure, if you’ve lived in dog years,” Hange shot back, shaking their head, still amused but clearly not letting it go. “I’m thirty four.”

You stifled a laugh, eyes wide. “Wait, is that offensive? It’s not that much older—just a decade or so.”

They huffed dramatically. “I’m thirty-four, not thirty-five, and yes, it kind of is when you’re still technically in your prime.”

You bit your lip, holding back a grin. “Oh, come on! Thirty-four, thirty-five… it’s practically the same thing.”

Hange gave you a side-eye, clearly trying not to laugh. “Not to us thirty-four-year-olds, it isn’t.”

You raised an eyebrow, leaning in a bit. “Well, you’re not exactly ancient. Plus, with all that wisdom, I’d say it suits you.”

Hange’s playful scowl broke into a grin. “Nice save.”

“Wasn’t trying to save anything,” you teased, “just stating facts.”

They shook their head, chuckling. “Yeah, yeah. Remind me not to invite you to my birthday party though. Next thing I know, you’ll have me hitting forty.”

The car rolls over the pebbles leading to your aunt’s entry, then it stops right before. Hange kills the engine and you just feel the need to say, “thirty five, forty…doesn’t matter, I think you’re sexy anyways.”

Hange’s eyes widened, and they let out a surprised laugh, their cheeks tinged with a faint blush. You smirk, then push the passenger door open and hopping down as your boots let out a satisfying sound as they crush against the stones.

You know Hange’s looking, so you walk with a sway on your hips.

[yeeterthek33per]

Meet You Maybe Never (Chapter 2)

A/n Here we go, y'all. Enjoy 😘

Part 2 of this.

Content/Warning(s): Fluff. Also terribly translated German, feel free to telepathically forehead smack me if it's wrong. Time jumps a few times but I'm hoping it makes sense.

--------------------------

Early morning runs.

Specifically, Magda's early morning runs.

Despite Pernille's disgust at the woman's early morning energy levels, she'd gotten used to the ten years of waking up to an either empty bed or a very sweaty wake-up call from a freshly run-out Magda.

So, inevitably, when she woke up this morning, she suspected it was due to the front door shutting behind a returning girlfriend.

However, the loudness was more of a startle awake than her usual slow wake to hearing something shift in the room or her girlfriend kissing her awake.

The Swede wasn't one to slam doors, in fact, she usually would chastise anyone who had, a little too enthusiastically, slammed any doors in the house.

Pernille included.

"Pernille, I know you're asleep but you need to see this."

A soft grumble into the pillow.

"Not anymore."

"It happened again!"

Grunting, she sits up sleepily, although more alert than her previous state now.

"Magda wha-"

A phone shoved into her face the moment the Swede practically launches herself into the room and onto the bed, with much more enthusiasm than should be had at seven in the morning.

"Look."

As if she hadn't gotten the hint already.

Squinting, like only a freshly woken dead person can, at the phone screen, she sees a photo of a newly painted mural come into view.

"Okay...?"

The dirty blonde woman huffs.

"Did you actually look at it?"

The Dane cracks an unimpressed brow but looks back at the phone now.

It's a familiar piece.

Or at least the work is.

It's a mural of Magda this time.

Brightly painted like it just came out of the can.

"I could have caught the Straßengänger, that's how fresh it is."

"We should check it out later, can I go back to sleep now?"

Pouting softly but returning to a standing position from where she now realises is her girlfriends lap, Magda moves towards the en suite doorway.

"Or you could get up and come save water?"

The Swede makes a come hither gesture, but the older woman just shakes her head, tucking herself happily back under the covers.

"Shower and then come cuddle and I might think about getting up in an hour."

A soft chuckle and then the door shutting is the last thing she hears before she's back to sleep, followed by a shuffle in the bedding and a now clean and dry body wrapping around her frame a little while later.

It was news, but it could wait.

At least, it could for her, but it was something playing on the Swede's mind as she attempted to relax into her partners sleeping form.

--------------------------

Life in Munich had thankfully been less hectic than when they'd first arrived.

Mostly in part due to Pernille's previous history with Germany.

That was one Magda would happily let her partner take credit for, despite stubbornly struggling with the language, she was grateful for the Dane and her heavily doting teammates.

Said doting teammates had thankfully shown her enough spots and routes around town for jogs, places to avoid during certain times of day, the whole lot.

That was something she'd listed as a must-do.

Her morning runs were crucial in her routine, despite her partners protests early on to stay in bed for a while longer.

They eventually settled for a cuddle session after showering upon return, although, it only took them a year of living together to finally come to that agreement in London.

The cool morning air in Munich felt especially crisp but better than the late winter mornings had been.

Spring was on the way and that made it all the better to be running.

That was her excuse, anyway.

She was more interested in keeping an eye out for more information or sightings of a certain street artist.

And she had nothing to worry about, because within a month and a half, another appeared, this time much more of an invigorating find.

She was first to the scene here, and nothing had been touched in terms of how fresh the paint looked.

She was almost certain if she had shown earlier, she would have met with the artist themself, again.

It seems she'd have to try a bit harder, though, because there was no sign of the masked individual that morning.

Though, that wasn't much of a surprise.

They'd been especially careful to not be caught after having been plastered over the Munich forums with a single photo of them catching onto the media within hours.

That'd been before they arrived though, and it's been months since then.

Still, they were becoming more and more intriguing the more the artist left behind murals.

It'd be less intriguing if they were just doing murals for the club, but it seems like they've taken a focus on two players and two players only.

Everything else she had come across had been entirely different, usually just simple landscapes and dig as she might, nothing else.

She hadn't been keen on getting in on the investigations to do with the Straßengänger, at least until she realised how invested she was becoming along with her partner.

As she scanned over the mural, smaller details appeared.

Only, this time, the words seemed to be a bit more targeted towards her, much like Pernille's mural was towards her.

"Determined."

"Observant"

"Radiant."

"Competitive."

And one more word in German that she has to translate.

"Analytisch"

Analytical.

After that, she steps back, takes a photo and practically sprints the rest of the way back to the apartment.

By the time she's in the door, shouting up the stairs at her most likely asleep girlfriend, she's winded herself enough to forget to even consider what half of the wording meant.

And not just on the level of it being who she is as a person.

These were on purpose.

To specifically draw their attention.

Or at least hers.

In fact it doesn't occur to her that it's anything but another mural.

At least not until she's doing warm downs later that day and it clicks in her head.

She'd spent so much time analysing the artist and asking questions, she didn't even think about the part where said artist might have connections locally that would spread word about her asking about them.

--------------------------

It takes less than a day to hear about a certain Swede's line of questioning about a certain Straßengänger.

A little bit of sleuthing yourself leads you to how much she actually knows.

It's amusing you if anything.

Hence why you left the mural the way you did.

Gave her an incentive, let her know you know.

Or that the Straßengänger knows.

Also because you had an itch, and it needed to be scratched.

You'd done Pernille enough justice, then Magda.

Only you had to come up with something because that itch was starting to come back.

Regardless, you'd let your latest piece catch it's traction first.

Inspire more of an audience, you inspire attention and support to the women's game.

That's why you're doing this in the first place.

Isn't it?

It's also why you're stuck in several back to back meetings with several media lackeys right now.

You love your job but damn, sometimes you hate it.

Not to be ungrateful, nor ignorant of the knowledge of what you signed up for.

It's just another part of life and you'd have to scratch whatever itches that come from outside of it, later.

At some point, in the umpteenth meeting for the day, you spot a certain pair wander by the window, chatting animatedly with someone you were certain would be coming in for a meeting with you now.

Then, it seems, they enter the room.

You weren't aware they were joining you but who were you to complain.

"Ah, apologies for the interruption, Director, but they were just finishing up the last of their training before they could come down."

"That's quite alright, you ladies are free to take the table whenever you wish. I'm not in any hurry, trust me."

The pair smile and enter the room, taking seats in the remaining spots at the table, while the attending media manager introduced their presence in the meeting.

"So, we have been working on this partnership for a while. I understand the nature of this kind of deal would normally be dealt with by the players' personal managers or themselves but with everything happening all at once.."

The manager then gestures to the women to speak.

It's the Swede who speaks up first.

"We were hoping for a project management approval so we could get this under way quicker and easier. Estée Lauder have contacted Pernille and myself through our managers, and would like to partner with us to get a Women's health initiative started."

The older woman nods, turning to you directly.

"Director, if we could ask for someone on your team, or perhaps if you can grant the time, since we've seen the work you do."

A small brow in question at the woman across from you.

"As in, we've seen the women's projects you've started, completed, supported. We'd love for you to be involved directly, if you were willing to spare the time of course, the women's side of the club could directly benefit from the media attention of course, but also for the club as a whole. Or perhaps, if you can't maybe someone you'd be willing to trust with working with us on this? I know it's a lot to ask as two players who have only recently joined but-"

"Yes. I will assist in this project."

"And I think- yes?"

Amused with the surprise on the pairs' faces, you hold a hand up, explaining yourself further.

"You don't need to convince me anymore, it's the perfect time actually, this could be a great, and mind the terrible wording here, kick off to our season's campaigning plan. I would love to help this initiative get started personally. Contact me directly when you want to get started."

The wide smiles on the pairs faces make the extra work worth it as they both shake your hand, thanking you.

"We appreciate this so much."

"Of course, when it's for the support of women in the world, I'd do it in a heartbeat."

Of course, it's completely true, this isn't just extra work to you.

It's a very important project that you'd take over and over if it meant the growth, support and visibility for women's health.

Smiling and nodding as they leave, you turn to your assistant, Liana.

"Liana, can you please put the Estée Lauder project on priority?"

"Of course, would you like me to put their numbers direct through to you as well?"

"Yes, thank you."

And true to your word and theirs, they call within a day, organising the information both sides will need.

"Alright, so we need to organise the time and place for you both to actually meet and settle an agreement for media duties, targeting audience, public viewership accessibility, etcetera."

"Magdalena and myself were both discussing possible days and times, with the upcoming international, we were hoping to do it before then, maybe in two weeks time?"

"Sounds good, I'll contact them on your behalf, if that's okay of course, and arrange a day between say, the twenty-second and the eighth?"

"Perfect, is there anything else we should prep before then?"

"Just your lovely selves, I'll have everything ready by then."

Nodding to the camera, you wave a small goodbye over the video call, hanging up after receiving confirmation, noting down everything they'd told you about the deal.

As you'd promised, within the following forty-eight hours, you call the representative that Pernille had supplied the number for, letting her know you were calling on behalf of the pair.

"Yes, hello, I am calling on behalf of Pernille Harder and Magdalena Eriksson. As their representative and representative of the organisation that employs them, I've been asked to organise a time and place for the negotiations of the upcoming project I've been made aware you and your organisation have been planning?"

It goes as smoothly as it could, surprising you if anything at how cordial the rep was being.

Normally you'd often have to go to bat for the players and any compensation they'd be advised to be given but they were generous and if anything, Pernille and Magda had themselves specified there was not much if anything that they wanted from this except to boost this project publicly.

They're an actively public persona and set of footballers, so really, the only thing to gain here is more support for the women's game.

The rep has zero qualms about compensating the players, but they both refuse, instead encouraging that the money be spent towards the project.

Donating their own time, and any possible pay prospects towards the future of Women's health.

If you weren't falling for the pair little by little already, now you definitely were.

And you had something to say about it.

Or rather.

Paint it.

-------------------------

It takes weeks until the launch of the progress, and videos are released. It's smooth as anything with them, like you expected.

You were constantly hearing from your crew about how easy it was to work with the pair for media days, so anything like this wasn't any different in your eyes.

They were confident, well respected, and self respected, level headed during proceedings and incredibly smart about any decisions they had to make.

In fact, you'd say you weren't even needed ninety percent of the time, the only time you really needed to speak on behalf of them to do with larger legal matters and anything to do with your place in this.

Everything else went through them.

Thus, you had time to plan your next move.

It was a set out large wall, freshly painted white and you'd managed to even get it in a larger area so you had plenty of space to work.

Your only challenge was doing it during the night.

Taking inspiration from the company involved, and from the footballers, using the colours of the Estée Lauder logo, a deep blue and whites, almost like black and white portraits, monochrome but with a deep navy instead, you painted both of their images up on the wall.

This time, using entirely words for the fill in and not just certain parts.

You knew this one would take a while, but it could be done.

After the very slow process of mapping out everything, you began going over it with a layer of black paint, slowly carving each shadow, crease line, jawline, pupil shine, each piece a small word of description.

This time, the words in each of their respective native languages.

Thankfully, you had a little help with that.

Not intentional of course, getting them to create media profiles, talking about themselves in languages their fans would understand from the national team, not just English and German.

Picking up bits and pieces, and a thankfully very helpful closed captioner sitting by your side who wrote and translated everything for the videos, and yourself, for Creative Director purposes, obviously.

Words like

"Empowered"

"Luminous"

"Inspired"

"Protective" For Magda

"Phenomenal" For Pernille.

And everything in between that you can put in.

But mostly one word that's resonated with you since they first got announced as a part of your club.

"Captivating"

That was the least you could describe them as.

As much you are an artist, you felt as close to a writer as you ever would be just creating this mural.

It was a lot of work for something that would surely stir up something amongst the community.

Inspiration?

Support?

A new sense of endearment from the locals as they fall back in love with their home team again?

Well, it's not like they ever fell out of love with them, more just needed incentive to return regular appearances at games again.

If it took hold internationally, well that's just a bonus.

It sounds like a lot of optimism coming from someone who's essentially graffiti-ing every blank white wall in the city with the faces of some people who a lot of Munich society may not even recognise, but when you've been doing this as long as you have.

Every single time one of your murals make the internet, and if you have a bit of hope that this one will make it big?

That's nobodies business but yours.

By the time you're done with the first lot of paint, you're sweating. It's a big damn wall and you aren't the most fit person you know. Hell, nearly everyone you know are either office workers or athletes.

Sure, you scale buildings, walls and nearly impossible to climb scaffolding but you damn aren't an endurance athlete.

Your grip strength may be in the high numbers but fuck being able to hang on to the same pole for a solid two hours.

That being said, the mural just needs the final touch up paint layers, little things like reinstating white shines and some shadows into the portraits.

Both faces have smiling expressions, examples of pure happiness and joy as they celebrate another win.

The best bit about working in a club like this is getting to see the players in form, on the pitch and outside of it, too.

Every moment you've gotten to witness all of the players in.

It's all come back to inspiration for your work.

You do it all for the players, for the one's who've worked as hard, if not harder than you have to get to where they are.

That's inspiration.

That's why you do what you do.

To get to witness that inspiration come to life.

So painting that into a mural is nothing if not a mere chip away at what can be shared with the world about the pure elation at seeing all of your dreams and hard work come to life.

And doing it with some of the community's most loved players also helps.

The final touch up layers come in quite nicely, taking a small break to let the other half of the paint dry before trying to paint over it.

As an artist, you don't really get to see a reveal like other people do.

Instead, the end result isn't so much of a surprise as seeing it for the first time.

You know how you want it to turn out, it's just getting it there in the first place.

You add and change little bits here and there.

Sometimes, you don't even know how its going to turn out but you still start somewhere with a general idea of where it's going.

With murals like these, there's always a game plan.

It's just easier that way.

Setting out a trace line and then going over it with the style and paint you want is how you do it.

So seeing it complete doesn't amaze you necessarily.

However, taking a step back, clearing your head and gazing over this complete mural allows you to just breathe and take it in.

It's beautiful.

And you hope the subjects take it that way, too.

Hearing a few shuffles, you tuck your mask back in a bit better, hoping no one saw you, and shove everything back into your bag hastily.

A group of adults walking by chatting and laughing makes you jump around the corner.

They don't spot you, and in the pitch dark, they don't see the mural either, only chatting away with each other.

It's in the early hours of the day that you finally make it home, again.

On your walk home, you think you spot a familiar jogging blonde across the road but don't stick around or follow to find out.

By then, you'd switched out your mask for a cap and turned inside out jacket and hiding hands in your pockets for the little flecks of paint the gloves didn't catch.

There's always some.

Your apartment isn't much farther from where you saw the blonde jogging, so when it's confirmed when all of sudden, on your way out the door for work, you see her practically sprinting home, it doesn't surprise you.

What does is the pace she's keeping.

Did she see the mural?

You didn't get much sleep if any, so you think you must be a little delusional to think she'd have found it so quickly, and then having had sprinted the whole way back again?

She's an athlete and all, but come on.

That'd be some determination.

You knew she'd been keeping an eye on the Straßengänger's next moves, but to catch on that quickly, there was no way.

But then you thought about it.

She's always been vocal about keeping a tight schedule.

Maybe they live closer than you think, and she's just on a morning run.

If that's the case, you've hit closer to home than you expected to, but it doesn't bother you so much as it does surprise you.

You'd just have to be more careful or you risk being caught, again.

Maybe being caught wouldn't be so bad if it was them.

You'd have to find out.

--------------------------

Pernille's eyes catch yours across the table, watching you listen intently as her girlfriend beside her rattles off lists of things that need doing for the campaign.

She'd spent so much time talking herself, that it took a little nudge from the Swede with a small knowing smile to let her take over for a bit.

The Dane was nothing if not determined, so taking charge of the campaign was more accidental that intentional.

Hell, they'd both been captains, they were both leaders.

That's why they worked so well together.

They both knew when to step in and when to step back and let the other do what they needed to do.

But something about this made her want to step in constantly.

So instead of interrupting Magda with possible interjections until she was sure her girlfriend wasn't already getting to those, she distracted herself minorly with just listening and observing.

Something drew her to you, though.

It was the passion with which you worked, the easy going but fiery steadfastness of your work, your ability, your personality.

The focus in you, the ability to talk your way around legalities and make it such a smooth process as you had.

At the moment, there was tactics of media advertisement that were being thrown around, things like videos and conferences.

Things like possible logos and sponsorship for the youth women's teams.

Those were something you would be handling with the clubs people as well, setting up possible sponsorships for the academy players and up and coming new players in the area looking to get into the game.

As well as charity donations, supporting women's shelters, donating to children's hospitals.

Everything under the sun thrown on to the table as an option.

And you took it all in stride, listening and giving small feedback but affirmations and assurances that you'd look into the options, see what you can negotiate with the business and what you could give as an option of advertisement for Estée Lauder themselves.

And they trusted you would do everything you could available to make those things happen for it.

She had no idea why she trusted you so much.

Especially when you were a business person.

They'd spent so much time being burned and run around by business people.

Not everyone was bad, but it didn't help that they were approached by people just looking for boosts for their company without doing anything in return.

The pair were never after money but god forbid they give something to something they choose.

So to finally have a company they trust on their side, and to have someone in their corner fighting with them.

It's the best feeling.

Especially when that person knows how to get it.

But there's something about you in particular.

There's a look behind your eyes.

One of genuine idolisation and passion for those with genuine belief and want to help build a better community and world of football for those who can't or need a little help themselves.

But also something else she recognises, she can't quite figure it out, but it's familiar and she almost feels safer knowing it's there.

It was a slow recognition that came to her mind over the past weeks working with you.

You weren't with them every minute of the work day, obviously, but once every couple of days was enough for her to find that familiarity.

One thing she notices is how much you fidget with your hands while working, while thinking.

It's a nervous habit, she slowly realises.

Picking at the skin of your cuticles.

Then she sees a small fleck of something, marker or ink or something.

And then it flecks off as you pick at it.

Ink wouldn't do that.

Paint would, though.

Before she can question it much further than necessary, though, Magda nudges her softly.

"All good?"

She looks up, realising the Swede had long finished talking and she'd just zoned out watching you fidget.

"Of course, right, just zoning a bit."

She says it in a small joking tone, both of them knowing well that she doesn't so well sitting still for so long.

You hum softly.

"That's completely understandable, as much as I am an office worker, I don't sit still too well, myself. Shall we take a small break? It's been a couple hours as is."

Magda nods in agreement.

"C'mon, we can head down to the campus cafeteria for some coffee?"

"Sure, I just have to head to the bathroom, I'll meet you down there?"

Nodding, the swede watches as the Dane exits before gesturing to the door.

"Join us?"

You smile.

"Sure."

Taking the opportunity to stretch her muscles well, the both of you wander down to the coffee stand, Magda ordering for her and Pernille, and then gestures for you to order as well.

"I'll pay for my own, it's all good."

You try to wave away the Swede but she insists.

"We've been talking your ears off all morning, the least we could do is pay for your caffeine intake to deal with it."

It's meant as a joke, but you chuckle and interject with.

"Please, I'd rather listen to you both talk all day than the work I do on a daily basis anyway."

"Oh, really, what could possibly be less interesting than us talking your ears off then?"

She nudges you, shoulder to shoulder, watching you flush a little.

"Office work, sitting all day in meetings, phone calls and constant paperwork. I've always hated sitting around like that. But that's just the half of it. I usually spend the extra time I get making promotional material and organising events for the club. As much as I'd like to focus just on the women's side of things, the board wanted me for the whole club. Creative Director and all."

You snort at the last bit.

"Not a fan of the position?"

"It's where I want to be in terms of what I can do for the club and how much I get to influence the parts I've always dreamed of being a part of but it just comes with all the bits I've always hated, too, so yes and no."

Your coffees are made and ready and by the time you've found seats, Pernille makes her way into the room, sitting in the spot on either side of you.

"Ah, babe, here."

Magda nudges the coffee towards the lighter blonde, her girlfriend thanking her, taking a sip of the coffee with a grateful sigh.

"What about the good parts, what else do you get to do for the club, I know we've read a lot, but surely there's stuff that the rest of us aren't told, am I correct?"

Sipping your coffee, you set it down again, nodding.

"It's a lot of work behind the scenes more than anything. Despite watching over a lot of the media parts, I don't see much of it myself. Only being shown the results at the end and obviously, any major parts of plans and announcements. Major brand deals, sponsorships and I get asked to do a lot of the men's organisational parts of their promotional as well, apparently they couldn't get anybody else to do it one persons job. It's a lot. But it's what I do best."

"Tell us about your favourite parts."

Pernille's the one to speak up.

"Actually, working with you, the players is my favourite part, I don't get to do it a lot, but when I do, you guys are the best people I get to work with, most of the time because you guys act like you're all human, not like the others. Not saying they aren't or that I don't get on well with them, because I do, especially my assistant and anyone I work closely with but they're just too professional, like they don't have too much of their own input to put in. I know I'm their boss, but I like hearing people talk about their own passions."

Pausing for a moment, you scratch at the back of your hand, something Pernille notes immediately.

"Actually, you guys are probably the best I've worked with so far."

"Really?"

You hum, nodding.

"You are both passionate, easy to talk with, understand what's going on and how to navigate situations like this. Dealing with legalities ninety percent of the time is left up to me and me alone, which is fair enough, not everyone has the patience, time or want to deal with it, but it's refreshing seeing both of you be able to keep up with all of this. You're both incredibly intelligent, analytical and passionate and it's a relief to work with more than anything. That's why I was so eager to accept your proposal for the project."

They both grin.

"We're glad to have made this process smoother, then."

"More than anything, you guys have made my job easier than it's ever been."

Chuckling you clink your coffee with the others and take another sip in cheers.

"What about you both?"

They both look at you confused.

"Well, since we're getting our answers from the sources, I wanna know, what drives you both, why this? I've heard it through so many third parties, I want to know why you're both so involved."

"Well considering we've both loved football our entire lives, grew up playing it, found clubs we love. The whole nine yards."

"You make it sound like you haven't done what ninety-nine percent of others have never done themselves."

"That's exactly why we do what we do, to help others who can't but deserve it more than anything to do the same, achieve their dreams, show the world what they're made of."

"Yeah, Magda's pretty much said it all, there. We do what we do because we want other's to know how much they can achieve and also helping them get there. Women most of all. In more than half the world, women were banned for fifty years from playing, which I'm sure you know, and Women's Football needs the boost."

"I love that."

You take another sip of your coffee.

"It's amazing what you both have done in and out for women as a community and for growing stars in the game, not only that but everything you both do for World Crisis', support of the people suffering from war, hunger, major issues. Especially those who struggle with sexuality and not being able to be who they are."

"We just want to help, that's something we especially love hearing back about it all, is that people are finally comfortable in their own skin."

"You're doing a damn good job, then."

You continue talking like that for a good long while, letting them both talk about everything they've done over the years.

Eventually, it quietens, and you check the time.

Glancing down at your watch, you urge them back up to the conference office once again.

"Shall we get back to work, ladies?"

--------------------------

In all of a few hours, you manage to set up a gameplan for the next two weeks of work before they have to head off to internationals, leaving you with something to do in the meantime.

A few times throughout those couple of hours, you catch Pernille watching you fidget with your hands.

You aren't totally sure why for a few minutes but then you notice it's only when you start picking at the impossible to keep off you flecks of spray paint.

It seems luck was not on your side in that moment because the moment Magda steps out of the room to go to the bathroom, she points it out.

"Much of painter?"

Freezing, you look up at the woman from your notebook.

"Pardon?"

She points to where you're yet again scratching at your hand.

"Just the paint you're picking off, you paint a lot?"

"Ah, a little, just getting into it actually. It's just something I do in my free time but damn is it messy."

"Oh, you should show us some of the stuff you do sometime."

Nodding, you take a sip of the water beside you.

You know the paint will get you caught one day, but spray paint is the glitter of the paint world.

It's impossible to keep off places you don't want it to be.

Then Magda enters the room and the conversation is over.

Thankfully, it feels like she's backed off you a bit, but you aren't confident it won't come back to bite you later.

Towards the end of it, Magda is scrolling on her phone as you type out some of the final pieces of information, ready to be sent off to the project managers on the partners end.

Noting the way she suddenly zones in on one particular post, you see with a glance her way, her liking and sharing a post about your newest work.

She doesn't seem surprised to see it, though, like it isn't new to her, the way she doesn't attempt to show Pernille even.

She definitely already saw it, as to whether she'd caught it this morning was another question.

You don't bring it up, though.

Instead, you continue typing and eventually, finish it with some wording changes at the request of the girls, and send it off.

"Annnnd we're done for the day, is there anything else we want done before you both head off to internationals? If you do have something come up later on, you're both welcome to call or message me directly and I can put it down to be done?"

They both shake their heads.

"Excellent, then I'll let you both head off, I can't imagine you aren't both sick of sitting for so long, rest up, and we'll talk later when the rep gets back to us."

Shaking both of their hands, they thank you profusely again and exit together.

Taking the moment to breathe finally, you look down at your hands, still little bits and pieces of flecked white and black paint, you groan to yourself, head falling into your hands.

"That was too fucking close, L/n. Get it together."

Luckily, they wouldn't be around to catch you any time in the next couple of weeks, you'd have plenty of time to do other stuff.

They weren't the ones you worry about catching you though, in fact, if it weren't for the face to face implications of it, you'd almost want them to know, but you can't let that happen yet.

It's the media, who'd have a field day at finding out the club's leading Creative Director is secretly a graffiti artist and the cause of the city's whispers, that you're worried about most.

You can only keep a low profile.

You've been getting cocky the past few weeks.

Now's the time to lay low.

Maybe put out a few smaller, less football focused art pieces, too.

Draw the attention away.

As much as you'd praised the attention, bring in too much of it and all of it collapses in on you.

Maybe one more mural before they go, though.

-------------------------

[palemoonlightandnightshade]

It was nice to see Dedra in the exact position Syril was back in season one. In the interrogation room waiting for Krennic. Look how the tables have turned. Her obsession with finding the Axis mirroring Syril's obsession with finding Andor. Both endeavors ending up rather pointless. The rebellion has moved on from Luthen. Arresting him won't help to put down anything. Dedra there in the shop being all smug that she finally caught her prey. Then Luthen shattering that hollow victory for her. Just amazing.

Also I liked how they showcased the hierarchy and who is where in the food chain of the Empire. Syril with Dedra, Dedra with Partagaz, Dedra and Partagaz with Krennic. In Rogue One it gets better when we see Krennic with Tarkin and Vader. In Andor Krennic is a big deal to every character he interacts with but there's always a bigger fish. Both Vader and Tarkin are more than willing to do worse than what he does to Dedra to him. And of course we have Tarkin and Vader with the Emperor. It's astonishing how these idiots think they can work with the system and climb up the ladder when they're all disposable to the one guy that has all the power and cannot care any less about any of them.

In the end they're all victims of the Empire really and what's sad it's that they never realize it. Yes they have relatively better living conditions and most probably don't get to face the atrocities they commit. Like major Partagaz was keeping up with the Ghorman campaign from the safety of his big office on Coruscant. But even they are victims. There are no benefactors here. No winners. No truth. No greater good or a worthy cause. Only a self-serving monster. Only the Emperor gets to have all the power. Only he gets to have what he wants. And they are upholding and fighting for the very system that has oppressed them.

Don't get me wrong I think they all got what they deserved. Except my poor baby Lonni another unsung hero of this rebellion of unsung heroes. I'll never get over it. Luthen you bastard! You could have gotten away along with Kleya and Lonni and went to Yavin. Instead decided to stay and die and kill my poor boy. At least his family is tucked away safe. In my head he's still alive on Yavin with his family.

I keep thinking how chaotically hectic and out of depths ISB must have been during that year with them losing three competent and seasoned supervisor along with Major Partagaz. Like instead of keeping Dedra and Partagaz they simply discarded them because they were always replaceable and expendable to the Empire. They had to learn the hard way how insignificant they are.

Every time I remember Dedra's fate the feeling of satisfaction puts a smile on my face. Now that's a fitting end to her character. Partagaz too. I like to think with how intelligent he was after listening to Nemik's manifesto he came around. Obviously too late. But I kinda don't have sympathy for him to be honest. I mean he was alive and around before the Empire. He knew how things were under the Republic. Maybe things weren't all that great towards the end of it but still. Also him deciding to end it then and there instead of trying to repent or otherwise fight back, I mean I guess he didn't want to end up like Dedra but we don't know that. He could have very well put all of that on his subordinates, got away somehow and found a way to rebel. Instead he chose the easy way.

[raainberry]

Whispers in the Hallway

Momo x gn!reader

synopsis - two months of hiding your relationship from the kitchen, it’s only a matter time until it gets out

wordcount - 5.2K

T/W - this serves as an epilogue to “compliments to chef” but you dont need to have read it to enjoy this one kinda chaebol!momo - chef!reader - mentions of food - you don't hate each other anymore - kinda suggestive at some points but nothing too crazy - that's all i can think of, tell me if i missed anything

A/N - chef epilogue v.2, shout out to @cry4mina this ones for you sorry i gatekeeped it for so long tell me when you read it so i can delete

The last of the dinner shift guests left the building, unknowingly crossing the path with the owner.

Momo sent them a polite nod, her eyes shifting to their linked arms and entwined hands. Two months ago, she would have rolled them at the sight. Love on display, even late at night when only the moon could complain, she used to despise it.

Or so she thought. Turned out she was only single

That night her eyes narrowed with a soft smile. The couple barely paid her any mind, lost in their love, but she couldn’t care less.

She was on her way to meet her own.

Sure, she had to sneak around the back and hid it from most people, but it was there. Waiting for her, in that dim lit hallway near the walk-in freezer.

That location wasn’t exactly sexy, but romance wasn’t dead. As long as you were there, she’d meet you anywhere.

Holding her excuse against her chest—a stack of meaningless papers—she slipped into the restaurant, her presence a well-practiced secret.

A small smile played on your lips as she approached. It was an oddly intimate invite, the lighting casting soft shadows that seemed to close you off from the rest of the world.

"Hey," she greeted softly, her voice barely above a whisper.

"Hey," you replied, stepping closer. "Everything alright?"

She nodded, handing you the stack of papers. "Just wanted to go over these changes with you before tomorrow."

A soft chuckle escaped your lips as you looked down at the printed ink. “‘March ‘22 Menu Items’? Seriously?” You looked up to find her eyes, meeting the faint blush on her cheeks.

“It was all I had around...” She said, allowing herself to pout a little at your amusement.

“I guess it’ll do,” you shrugged off, deciding to let her off the hook this time. “To what do I owe this honor then if not for actual work?”

Momo grinned. Real talk, finally. “There’s this place a few blocks away I wanted to check out.” Her hands wiped the jet black uniform on your shoulders, adjusting the wrinkles from the day. “Benchmarking. I could use your help.”

You hummed, “That new Japanese place that opened a couple weeks ago?”

“That one,” she nodded, pursing her lips. It was adorable, the way she tried to keep it professional. She was doing a great job. An adorably great job. “What do you say?”

“I say that’s a great idea. Can’t let an opportunity to get inspired slip my hands, right?”

It took everything in her not to kiss you. That smile of yours, the way you looked at her… This was the only downside of keeping you a secret.

She settled on a smile, and you were more than fine with it. Seeing her struggle not to lean in was enough of a satisfying sight for now.

“I knew I could count on you.”

You stood there, wrapping up the conversation with soft laughter and shared smiles. These were also a rare moment of peace amidst your hectic schedules, and you made sure to savor it.

It wasn’t unusual for you to prolong them, carrying your talks into a much more personal territory. Nothing crazy nor risky, only a couple questions about each other’s day. The information was probably not worth risking getting caught, especially if you could get it in the privacy and comfort of her living room an hour later; but alas.

Falling love is anything but rational.

“How did you like your lunch?” You asked, eager to get her feedback on that new twist you’d added to her favorite.

And as she told you all about her thoughts, Mingyu and Ryujin were making their way through the kitchen, finishing up their tasks for the night.

As they passed the hallway, they heard the soft murmur of voices.

Curiosity piqued, Ryujin nudged Mingyu, and they both peered around the corner, their eyes widening at the sight before them.

You two were standing close. Too close. Heads bowed together, whispering. There was an unmistakable tenderness in the way you looked at each other, something that spoke volumes no matter how hushed your voices were.

"Are they...?" Ryujin trailed off, her voice barely audible.

Mingyu grinned, a mischievous glint in his eyes. "Looks like it."

They watched for a moment longer, seeing Momo lightly touch your arm, her fingers lingering just a bit too long for it to be casual. The way you leaned into that touch confirmed it all.

Ryujin pulled back, a grin spreading across her face. "I knew it. I knew there was something going on. Pay up.”

Mingyu chuckled quietly. "Wallet’s in my locker. I’ll give them to you later.”

Ryujin narrowed his eyes on him. “Right. Twenty dollars,” her finger reminded, and he laughed.

“Twenty dollars.” He nodded, glancing back to the hallway. “Guess we should keep this to ourselves, though, huh? Let them have their secret for a bit longer."

Ryujin nodded in agreement. "Yeah, but it’s going to be fun watching them try to hide it."

Their eyes met once more, the same idea popping in both their minds.

“Twenty more on the table, how long do they keep this up for?” Mingyu said, holding out his hand.

Ryujin only looked down at his palm, thinking. “Let’s talk.”

They shared a quiet smirk before quietly retreating, leaving the two of you completely unaware and oblivious that your secret was no longer as well-kept as you thought.

“You parked outside?” You asked, already knowing the answer. She confirmed it with a slight nod. “See you there in thirty?”

She nodded once more and you finally parted ways. Momo headed back to her car to wait for you while you returned to the kitchen. You both carried the warmth of your connection, but unlike her, you had to cool it before joining Ryujin and Mingyu.

The two of them greeted you with innocent smiles. You didn’t like it.

“What?”

“Nothing, chef.” Ryujin’s expression was nonchalant. Stacking plates like you’d asked her to moments ago.

Only odd thing was the twinkle in her eyes when she glanced at Mingyu.

“Just wrapping things up.” Mingyu added, wiping down a counter.

You narrowed your eyes slightly, sensing the unspoken words between them. “Okay… Right, well let’s make sure everything is spotless.”

—

“Are you okay?”

The poor sushi on your plate was grateful for the break. Momo’s voice had halted your train of thoughts, during which you kept pushing your food around.

Glancing up at Momo, you found her eyes already on you, her chopsticks paused mid-air. She tried to ignore it, but the lack of conversation on your end was kind of ruining this date night.

You knew it. You felt it. That’s why you hesitated to tell her about what circled your mind. Your suspicions about Ryujin and Mingyu’s odd behavior lately.

You weren’t blind nor deaf. Neither were you stupid. You could put two and two together, regardless of the result pleasing you or not. They definitely were on to you.

You didn’t want to worry Momo, but you knew keeping it to yourself would only make you nervous. More prone to errors and slip-ups.

So you sighed, “Yeah, I’m fine,” trying to sound casual. “Just… I think Mingyu and Ryujin might have figured us out.”

Momo’s eyes widened slightly, her chopsticks lowering slowly. “What makes you think that?”

“They’re acting a bit… weird lately,” you explained, fiddling with your napkin. “You know how they are—playful and stuff, but… I don’t know, tonight they were just too… odd. And there was this look that they shared too.”

Momo’s brows furrowed. A little too loose of proofs but, she didn’t want to dismiss them just yet. “Do you think they’d tell anyone?”

You thought about it for a bit, but it was useless. The answer was obvious. “No,” you sighed, leaning back against the chair. “I don’t think so. They’re good people, just very nosy. Knowing them, they’ll probably just have their fun watching us.”

Momo smiled, somewhat reassured by your words. She allowed herself to relax, picking up the sushi she’d given up on earlier. “Well, I guess we’ll have to be more careful.”

You chuckled softly, the tension easing away. “Really? I thought you’d stop your little visits.”

Momo giggled, shaking her head no. “Never. I mean, it was annoying at first, but it’s actually kind of exciting. The sneaking around, the secrets…”

Her gaze held a sense of mischief you recognized from your moments behind closed doors. The ones at her place or yours, where you didn’t have to hide from her world. The memories made you smile, along with the sight of them through her eyes.

“I can’t say I’m not enjoying it.” You smiled, grabbing your glass to cheer with her.

She clinked her glass against yours, her eyes sparkling with amusement. “To keeping secrets.”

“And to not getting caught,” you grinned.

—

“Do you think they’ll bet on us?”

You glanced at Momo, and the sight of her in your t-shirt made her question vanish from your mind for a hot second. The way it fell on her shoulders, baggy and reaching slightly too high on her thighs, revealing just enough of the cute shorts underneath to make your heart skip a beat.

The evening was calm, a nice close to the night. You’d walked into Momo’s apartment right as midnight turned to one. The late hour enveloped you in it’s peace and quiet, offering you a moment to cherish.

“Y/n?”

“Hm?”

“If you want to stare at least do it subtly.”

Blood heated up your cheeks in no time, and you focused back on the toothbrush in your hands to hide your embarrassment. “Sorry, you just look… really good.”

She chuckled, shaking her head. “Nice save.”

You watched from the corner of your eye as she raised a foot to the sink she was sitting on top of, hugging her knee to her chest. The movement was casual, yet it highlighted her grace and the intimacy that had grown between you two.

You cleared your throat, trying to steer the conversation back on track. “Anyway, yeah probably. It wouldn’t surprise me.”

“What do you say we give them a run for their money then.”

You raised an eyebrow, the toothpaste foaming at your lips now. “What do you mean?”

Momo grinned, a mischievous spark in her eyes. “Just… subtle things. Little moments that keep them guessing.”

You laughed softly, the idea sounding both thrilling and amusing. “Oh, I didn’t know you were bad like that,” you teased, making her to roll her eyes. “But I’m all for it. Go on, what do you have in mind?”

She tilted her head thoughtfully, her eyes never leaving yours. “Maybe… a secret smile here, a lingering touch there. Just enough to make them question everything.”

She demonstrated by brushing her fingers lightly against your arm, sending a shiver down your spine. Her touch lingered just a moment longer than necessary, her eyes locking with yours.

“Yeah,” you finally answered. Your voice was a little higher than usual, strained, betraying the sudden lack of oxygen from her touch. “It could be fun.”

Momo chuckled, clearly amused and loving to see you lose your composure like that for her. It was familiar, taking her back to when you both spent all your time getting on each other’s nerves in the kitchen. The memory held a weird sense of nostalgia now.

You finished brushing your teeth and rinsed your mouth, still smiling at her earlier proposal. Momo hopped off the sink, her bare feet making a soft thud on the bathroom floor.

Her arms wrapped around you, pulling you closer. “Ready for bed?” she asked, her voice soft, a bit tired.

You nodded and leaned in for a kiss. She hesitated for a moment, making you chase it just to tease you, but ultimately gave in, granting you that small peck you’d grown addicted to as days went by.

Her giggles resonated when your lips trailed to her neck, contrasting with the quiet and shy compliments that followed. “You’re ridiculous,” she murmured, though the word did nothing to tame the affection in her voice.

You loved these moments—seeing Momo so relaxed and happy, away from the pressures of work. If only you could go back in time, tell yourself everything you’d learn to like about her… Just to see your own face. It’d be worth the round-trip.

That smile she gave you, the look back at you as she guided you to her bed, was just one of many.

—

Your steps were light, carrying, hurrying you to meet her as you walked along the glass bay separating her office from the rest of the open space.

The sight of her in there made you smile. She was wearing a black suit, glasses perched on her nose, her name badge hanging around her neck. She looked focused, all serious and professional like she loved to present herself. Funny how that side of her made your heart race for entirely different reasons now.

It was one of those rare afternoons when you had some time to visit her at the headquarters. Usually in between your lunch and dinner shifts. The office was quiet, with only the soft hum of the air conditioning breaking the silence. You didn’t bother to knock, and Momo looked up from her work just as you entered, a warm smile spreading across her face.

"Hey, you," she greeted softly.

"Hey," you replied, closing the door behind you. "Busy day?"

"Always," she sighed, but there was no real complaint in her tone. She loved her work, and it showed.

You walked over to her, unable to resist the urge to touch her. Your fingers brushed against hers as you leaned on her desk, causing a shiver to run down her spine. She looked up at you through her glasses, her eyes sparkling with affection.

Two months, yet you still weren’t getting used to it.

"Got something for you," you grinned, reaching into you bag.

Momo's curiosity was piqued. "What is it?"

You pulled out a takeout box that she recognized from the kitchen and opened it, revealing a beautifully crafted marshmallow-based treat. It was a delicate arrangement of marshmallows squares, dipped in chocolate and adorned with tiny edible flowers. "Just a little something sweet to keep you going."

Her face lit up, a small gasp escaping her lips as if you didn’t bring her food multiple times a week. And yes, you also melted at her reaction like you didn’t witness it just as much. "These look amazing! Thank you." She took one and popped it into her mouth, her eyes closing in bliss as she savored the taste. "They're delicious."

You chuckled, feeling a warmth spread through your chest. "I'm glad you like them."

Momo placed the container on her desk, right next to her monitor. "They'll be my little rewards. Thank you.”

You leaned in, giving her a quick kiss on the forehead. "You’re very much welcome."

Just as you were about to pull back, there was a knock on the door. It opened before either of you could say anything, and her assistant stepped in.

"Oh, sorry to interrupt," She said, clearly not expecting to find you there. Though she did question those expectations after realizing just how often she’d caught you hanging here.

Momo quickly composed herself, adjusting her glasses. "It's fine. What do you need?"

As her assistant explained the situation, you stepped back, giving her space to handle it. But you couldn't help but notice the subtle smile that played on her lips whenever she glanced your way.

The subtle gesture took you back to her scheming a couple weeks ago. She never put her plan in action. Not that you expected her to—you knew it was just fun and games. It didn’t keep people from talking though… With spring and summer coming up, her (non-secretive) visits to the kitchen were getting more frequent. Lots of actual business planning ahead of the most profitable season, done in broad daylight but behind the office closet door.

You could understand how it could be seen. Their speculations weren’t exactly baseless either; you weren’t strictly talking business in there... So as long as they remained gossip, the whispers didn’t bother you. But after Mingyu walked in on you a few days ago, you could tell this whole situation was starting to bother Momo.

The sound of the glass door closing pulled you out of your thoughts. Her assistant had finally left, and Momo turned back to you, her smile widening. "Where were we?"

You grinned, watching her pull on the string to close the blinds. The newfound privacy prompted you to lean in closer. "Right about here," you said, brushing your lips against hers.

Her kisses were still so hesitant. Soft, like she was stuck in your early days. When those lips of yours were all but a reminder, a blend of how sharp and hostile your words had been with her. As if she’d cut her own on the remnants of your journey up to this point.

Yet she’d steal yours often. More as time went on, being brave for the both of you. Allowing her doubts to grow into a blossoming connection, pulling you into a need, a craving for it she prayed wasn’t one sided.

She considered you a weakness. But as long as you consider her yours, she'll be fine with it.

The warmth of her breath mingled with yours, her taste a sweet blend of the marshmallow treat and something that was uniquely hers… She pulled away first, you gave her no choice.

Your breath was a little uneven, and she could see the same awe in your eyes that she felt in her heart. “I can’t believe I used to hate your guts,” she chuckled to herself.

“Wasn’t that long ago. Things could change again.” You joked, earning yourself a playful push.

“Let me go back to work.”

“But I’m here, it’s break time,” you pointed out, walking after her as she made her way back to her chair.

“That’s an entirely self-proclaimed thing. I never agreed to that.” She gave you a mock glare, but the corners of her mouth twitched in amusement.

“Why not? You’re the boss.”

“I am. That’s why I need to finish this,” she said, settling back into her chair, her focus returning to the papers on her desk.

You dropped into the armchair across from her desk and sighed dramatically. “Fine. I’ll wait.”

And so you did, you watched her as she worked, the way her fingers moved over the keyboard, the slight furrow of her brow when she concentrated. It was mesmerizing, seeing her in her element, so competent and strong.

Every once in a while, you couldn’t resist the urge to poke fun at her, tossing a paper ball you made out of boredom her way.

She sighed, picking it up and tossing it back at you without even looking up. “You’re such a child.”

You only shrugged, grabbing the ball from the ground, “Sure, but when are you gonna be done?”

She glanced up, a small smile tugging at her lips. “Soon.”

You sighed once more, and after a few more minutes of quiet, your mind drifted back to your earlier thoughts. About the whispers in the kitchen hallways.

Your eyes found Momo again, focused on whatever was on her monitor. She seemed preoccupied. This probably wasn’t the best time to bring it up, but it slipped your lips before you could even think to hold it back.

“You know, there’s rumors spreading back in the kitchen.”

Momo looked up from her report, all worries on her features fading to leave room for curiosity. “What kind of rumors?”

“You know, the kind that involves us,” you said, leaning back in your chair. “People are starting to notice how often you come by.”

She frowned slightly, considering your words. “I guess it was bound to happen sooner or later. I never really did that before you.”

“Yeah, but it’s not just that,” you continued. “Some people are starting to think there’s more to it.”

Momo tensed up, her eyes narrowing slightly. “Right. Then let’s have our meetings in my office from now on.”

You raised an eyebrow. Kind of a drastic move, even coming from her. “Wouldn’t that be more suspicious if you stopped coming in all of a sudden?”

She sighed, clearly frustrated. “I just don’t want people talking.”

“Why are you so worried about it?” you asked, genuinely curious.

Her reaction was a little odd. Very different from the one she had at the restaurant, when you told her about Ryujin and Mingyu. You had a feeling she was serious about hiding from the kitchen, despite her passing off her worries as nothing more than jokes.

At first you thought it had to do with the industry. About the word going around fast or something along those lines. Thinking it had to do with her family, you agreed to her wishes. You thought it was a good thing too, and it would allow you to explore this whole thing in peace.

But if that was the case, you wouldn’t be visiting her office so often then, would you? The word would spread faster in corporate than in the kitchens.

It’s been a few weeks since you realized that, and her intentions were still as blurry. Her actions made little sense to you as days went by, but you knew best than to question them. You’d seen enough of that with the banquet.

But now, seeing her so visibly agitated… You didn’t like it. Her worries obviously ran deeper than just industry gossip. You could see the way her shoulders tensed, the worry etched into her expression. She wasn’t just concerned about the whispers

She was scared of them.

You took a deep breath, deciding to press gently. “Momo, is this really about the industry? Or something else? Because I can’t help if I don’t understand what’s really bothering you.”

Momo looked away, her fingers playing nervously with the edge of her blazer. “It’s not just the industry or my family,” she admitted softly. “It’s about you.”

“Me?”

She nodded, meeting your eyes again. “I don’t want them to think you only got the job because you’re sleeping with the boss. I don’t want anyone to undermine what you’ve achieved because of me.”

The weight of her words settled between you, heavy and uncomfortable. You hadn’t realized the extent of her concern, how much she was trying to shield you. Hell you hadn’t even realized she even was shielding you. “Momo, that’s—”

“I know it’s not true,” she interrupted, her voice trembling slightly. “But people can be cruel. They can twist things, make assumptions. They can act on those and… I just don’t want you to face that.”

You felt a pang of emotion at her vulnerability, at how much she was willing to protect you even at the cost of her own comfort. You reached out, taking her hand in yours. “Thank you for looking out for me. But we can’t live our lives based on what people might say or do. At this rate we’d have to hide forever.

“But what if they—”

“They won’t,” you interrupted gently. “And if they do, I’ll handle it. Don’t worry about me.”

Momo scoffed and rolled her eyes, a hint of the stubborn chef she was trying to hire just months ago resurfacing. She recognized that same defiance, that same determination. It was oddly reassuring.

“Besides,” you added, a mischievous glint in your eye, “even if they think all that, they would just sound stupid.”

Momo furrowed her eyebrows at your words. “What do you mean?”

“We never slept together,” you grinned.

Her confusion melted into amusement, and she cracked a smile despite the slight annoyance at your comment. “You’re right. I guess that’s one thing they can’t twist.”

You both shared a quiet laugh, the tension easing from the room. Momo’s grip on your hand tightened.

“You know,” you continued softly, “we can’t let them control how we live our lives. We’ve worked too hard to be where we are.”

She nodded, her eyes softening. “You’re right. It’s just… difficult sometimes.”

“I know,” you whispered, pulling her closer. “But we’ll figure it out. One step at a time.”

Momo took a deep breath. “Alright then. Let’s be careful, but not scared.”

“Exactly,” you said, feeling a weight lift off your shoulders. “No more sneaking around.”

You couldn’t blame her for being cautious. The industry was as small of a world, as it could be vicious. You’ve seen it on your own account. She was right, but unrealistic. Hiding your relationship forever wasn’t an option. You had to find a balance, a way to be together without giving people the ammo to hurt you.

—

The next day, you maintained a professional demeanor when Momo came by the restaurant. She was all for letting the stolen glances and subtle touches free, but you could tell it cost her.

She kept catching Ryujin and Mingyu glancing over at the two of you. They were definitely betting on you, and it took everything in her not to scold them into focusing on their work.

It was a Friday afternoon, and the kitchen was bustling with activity in preparation for the evening shift. You’d usually be running that kitchen like the marines, but Momo had requisitioned you for the next hour. So you stood at an empty corner of a counter, papers spread out before you, discussing the finer points of the upcoming summer menus.

You’d noticed her glancing around every so often, visibly nervous about this new setting. So you decided to bring her focus back on you.

“I think you might need to yell at me or something soon.”

Momo furrowed her eyebrows at the sudden change of subject. “What? Why?”

“I don’t know, they’re looking at us weird. Whispers might spread,” you teased.

She wanted to whine so badly. She also hesitated to actually yell at you, but instead, she settled on playing into your dumb teasing and saved her annoyance for later. Maybe she could give you the silent treatment or make you walk to her place instead of picking you up. Right now there were more important matters.

“I mean, I could, but…” She trailed off, looking over a dish you’d sketched out. “Would it work?”

You shrugged, “Don’t know until you try.”

She paused and stared at you. “But I thought we didn’t care about people talking anymore. If you miss me yelling at you, just say that.”

You stayed silent and shrugged, fiddling with your fingers. Neither denying nor confirming the claims.

Her jaw dropped, and she couldn’t hold herself back on shoving you. She deemed it necessary.

“So it did turn you on, you freak.”

“I never said that! Don’t put words in my mouth.”

“I wouldn’t have to if your intentions were clear.”

“My only intentions here are to cook and make you the best in the business.”

“I already am.” She said, handing you a pen. “Sign here; it’s the menus for the first half of the summer. You reviewed them, right?”

You nodded, taking the small stack. You went through it one more time, and it picked at Momo’s patience. “What are you doing?”

“Making sure there’s no surprise marriage clause hidden somewhere.” You smirked, eyeing her reaction above the stack of paper. “You never know with you business families.”

“You wish. Just sign it,” she sighed, desperately trying to hide the smile tugging at her lips.

“Wait, I just want to see something. There’s a dish I thought about last night. Might be able to take it up a notch.”

“How?”

You spiraled into an explanation, your words as animated as your hands. Momo listened intently, her eyes sparkling with excitement as she chimed in with her ideas.

“…and I think if we add a hint of yuzu, it’ll give it that perfect summer twist,” she suggested, her hands gesturing with that circle she always did. Regardless of what she was talking about, it was a circle. It made you smile.

You nodded, smiling at her passion. “Sounds good. I can try and get my contacts working at the market for some fresh ones.”

“But do you think it would pair well with the main courses?” Momo asked, her eyes focused on the menu.

You nodded, your attention equally split between the menu and the kitchen staff. “I think so. The flavors should complement each other nicely. But we should probably do a taste test first, just to be sure.”

Momo smiled, her eyes softening as she looked at you. “Do what you need to. I trust you.”

Time passed by, and the dinner shift approached. The staff around you visibly picked up the pace, and you had to get back to them soon so Momo gathered her things as she prepared to leave.

She let you walk her to the door separating the kitchen from the dining hall, your hand hovering over the small of her back. Your eyes lingered down on her as your conversation wrapped up on the hushed part of the business.

“Don’t forget to text me on the feedback from tonight’s service,” Momo said, adjusting her bag on her shoulder.

“I will,” you replied, a small smile playing on your lips. “Drive safe, alright?”

Without thinking, Momo leaned in and planted a quick kiss on your cheek, a reflex she’d picked up from your mornings together. The gesture was so natural and familiar that she didn’t realize what she’d done until she pulled back and saw the stunned expressions around the kitchen.

The kitchen fell silent. Every pair of eyes turned to you both, and the sudden stillness was almost deafening. Momo’s eyes widened in realization as she pulled back, her cheeks flushing a deep shade of red.

You were stunned too. Only you managed to keep your composure at least. You had to. Momo was already too far past the point of even trying to.

“Uhm, thanks,” you muttered, trying to play it off. You glanced around the kitchen, noting the shocked expressions on your staff’s faces.

Among them you noticed Ryujin and Mingyu, catching the triumphant look they exchanged.

Mingyu mouthed, “told you,” to Ryujin, who could barely contain her laughter.

Clearing your throat, you clapped your hands to get everyone’s attention. “Alright, let’s get back to work. We have a service to run.”

The staff quickly resumed their tasks, though the air was thick with unspoken questions and barely contained amusement. You and Momo continued your conversation as if nothing had happened, but the blush on her cheeks and the subtle smirk on your lips told a different story.

As the kitchen buzzed back to life, Ryujin slid up to Mingyu, her voice low. “Guess you won the bet.”

Mingyu chuckled, shaking his head. “Yeah, but I didn’t think it would happen like that. This is going to be interesting.”

[reverie-starlight]

it's about time I wrote something for owl head. @luvring I blame you for launching me right back into my bokuto era. not sure how I feel about my characterization of him yet, but it's a work in progress. considering it's my first time writing him, I don't think it's too horrible!!

gn!reader, no physical descriptions. established relationship, fluff fluff fluff, he is such a baby omg. I just want to see him happy, he's so sunshiney and warm. slight, miniscule, microscopic suggestiveness in one part.

early mornings can get a bit hectic when your boyfriend spends the night.

they used to be worse, you will admit, but even if you've both established somewhat of a morning routine, actually putting the plan into motion always proves to be a difficult task.

hopefully things settle after he moves in, you think.

you take a few moments to bask in the early morning silence that follows the swift movements of shutting off of your alarm (it's far too cold out for birds to chirp outside your window, and your apartment's not too close to any busy streets) and admire the sweet man beside you. ever the deep sleeper, bokuto's snores pop you out of your bubble.

you check the time again and feel your face form an expression of pure disdain when it registers that you have less time to get ready than usual. you turn to the side.

he's facing away from you- an oddity, considering he usually has one hand on you at all times- broad back on display, expanding and deflating with every breath he takes.

it almost feels wrong to disrupt him, but you know he has to get up for practice soon anyway, so you attempt a softer wake up method.

you put out your hand and trace patterns over his skin. it's warm and soft and makes you want to cuddle up melt into him for the rest of time. knowing him, he wouldn't mind that one bit.

he barely stirs at the feeling of your fingertips, so you do get closer this time and press light kisses against his shoulder blade.

the back of his bicep.

the centre of his back.

a few along his spine.

the spot just behind his heart.

you watch as goosebumps follow your trail of kisses and smile as he shuffles and finally turns to face you.

"good morning, baby..." he yawns and gives you a sleepy, closed-eye smile.

it breaks your heart that you're going to have to cut this moment short, but it has to be done. you're already cutting it too close for comfort (last night's activities had forced you to set a later alarm). any longer in bed and you'd both be late for work.

you card a hand through his hair and match his expression. "good morning, koutarou. it's time to get up." you keep your voice low and sweet, hoping to keep him sleepy enough to just go along with whatever you say.

but it seems that fate is not on your side this morning.

he opens one eye just a crack and begins to nod before freezing and promptly burying his face into your chest. he wraps his arms around your torso, making you you groan a little. "I need to make up for not holding you while I was sleeping."

while the sentiment is sweet, you would think that him getting ready to move in with you would make up for it. but apparently not even the prospect of spending every night from now on in your arms is enough to satisfy him.

"ko, please," you huff and try to pry his arm off. you really don't want to be late for work. things have been picking up lately and you definitely don't want to be chewed out by your boss for poor time management.

but bokuto does not waver. he may be a big baby sometimes, and he may do everything in his power to make you happy, but he is also incredibly determined and annoyingly stubborn.

especially when it comes to sleep.

so he just holds you tighter, mumbling out little apologies for not keeping you warm during the night. you giggle at that, because you are nothing if not warm whenever he's around. his presence is akin to summer's sunshine- so genial and bright that you can feel his love even without the physical gestures he always insists upon.

you stroke his back and just as you're about to give in to him, a small, smug smile appears on his face.

"bokuto koutarou!" you gasp "you know exactly what you're doing, don't you?"

he laughs into your chest and you can feel it reverberate throughout your body. "just stay with me a bit longer, when was the last time you took a sick day, anyway?"

his voice is littered with drowsiness and it only makes you want to give into him even more.

how is it that you've always seen yourself as the clingy one in the relationship? the thought makes you laugh a bit and he looks up at you hopefully.

but sadly, one of you needs to have some self discipline, so you cup his face in your hands and squish his cheeks together. "nice try, lover boy, but you promised me you'd get up on time."

he pouts and you try not to crack a smile at how funny it looks with a squished face. "but baby-"

"nope! you brought this on yourself, ko. besides," you do let your smile break through this time. "you're the one who insisted on setting a later alarm." you poke his nose to punctuate your sentence.

"you're the one who insisted we'd have more than enough time to get ready." poke.

"and you're the one who kept begging to go round after round despite me telling you this would happen," poke.

you squeal a bit when he suddenly gets up to hover over you, a mischievous, almost predatory look in his eyes that can only mean no good. “sorry- who was the one begging, baby?”

he digs his fingers into your side, causing you to giggle and squirm underneath him. his other arm holds him up and cages you in just enough that you're unable to roll away to safety.

the thing with bokuto is that he can be incredibly playful and child-like, yes; but like most people on earth, he also has moments that remind you he's much more dynamic than the endearing traits he most often presents.

you'd consider yourself lucky to be one of the few to see every side of him, but as you lay underneath him with a giddy feeling in your stomach from how handsome he looks while tormenting you, you only feel your self-discipline melting away.

he might be rebranding himself as an "ordinary" ace now (much to the surprise of everyone who knew him in high school), but you've been convinced for years that there's nothing ordinary about him at all. his determination, skill and unconditional love for you proved your theory every day.

fine, maybe one "sick" day wouldn't hurt.

"okay, okay!" you gasp out through your laughter. "we can stay in bed if you stop tickling me!"

his smile is positively blinding as he retracts his hand from your side and flops back on top of you. "thank you, babe. can I tell you a secret?"

you raise an eyebrow and he takes that as signal to continue. he "lowers" his voice to a whisper-yell and says "I don't actually have practice today."

you blink at him. "ko, what?"

he lets out an excited laugh. "I tricked you. I came up with this whole plan to keep you home with me today and it worked."

the unmistakable pride in his voice washes away any annoyance building up within you and opens you up to hearing him out. "explain."

"you've been working so much lately, I can see how much it's wearing you out," he rolls onto his side to face you better and cup your face with one hand. "and last night practice got cancelled super suddenly 'cause coach got sick or something. so I decided we should both have the day off since we both work super hard. also... I didn't want to be lonely," he mumbles at the end.

you snort at his honesty and shake your head in appreciation. that's why he was being so insistent? how did you manage to land someone as unabashedly sweet and caring as him? you started the day worrying about being late, and now work is the last thing on your mind. you grab your phone off the night stand and quickly leave your boss a message, letting her know you won't be coming in because of some sudden illness.

bokuto watches you closely and allows you to cuddle into him with a smile after setting the device back down. "so... does this mean my master plan worked?"

you nodded into his bare chest and let the stress you've been storing for weeks release alongside a deep sigh. "can't leave my sweet boy feeling lonely, now can I?"

you say it as a joke, but you hope he hears the appreciation in your voice... that he can feel how thankful you are for him looking out for you.

it all remains unsaid for a while longer, but you know he understands the underlying message when he kisses your forehead and prompts you to get more sleep.

BONUS:

you wake up again a couple hours later to a strange burning smell.

you're up immediately, not registering the fact that your boyfriend is not beside you anymore until you stumble into the kitchen and see him standing at the stove, stirring away.

the domestic view makes you excited for all of your mornings going forward looking like this, but you also make a mental note to buy a new set of pans before that happens.

he must feel you watching him, because he turns to greet you with a wide grin. "mornin', baby!"

"morning..." you make your way to the table and take a seat where there's already a glass of water. "are you making breakfast?" you try to keep your nerves out of your voice. he's not the worst cook in the world, and he's definitely improved since meeting you, but... he's still working on lunch recipes. he hasn't graduated to complicated breakfast foods yet.

he nods excitedly. "yup! I already had some cereal, though. I was gonna surprise you with breakfast in bed, but since you're up we can sit at the table." bokuto turns the stove off and scrapes... whatever it is evenly onto a plate. "it's a bit burnt, but it should still be good!"

he sets it down in front of you and the burning smell only gets stronger. you can see now that he had attempted pancakes. you smile up at him thankfully, but you wonder how you're going to get the round discs down without creating an unnatural chemical reaction within your stomach.

"I know it's been a while since we've had a proper breakfast together like this, and you mentioned a while ago that you've been craving pancakes, so I thought today would be the perfect day for that."

you can almost feel your pupils dilate when he says that. your heart beats faster and you feel warm all over (again). he remembered something like that? you don't even remember saying it, which leads you to believe that he's been storing it in his mind for a while now.

you scarf down the pancakes.

they're not good by any means, but you know they were made with love and that makes them the best damn pancakes you've ever tasted. you'd rather endure a the worst stomach ache imaginable than make this man sad.

his eyes widen. "woah! you must've been really hungry, do you want me to make you more? as many as you want, just give me a number!"

you tear up a bit, from affection for him or a reaction to the pancakes, you're not sure. "no, baby, these were perfect. do you want some coffee?"

he nods his head. "I wouldn't mind one if you're offering."

you kiss his cheek and move over to the coffee machine, still overflowing with love, but the taste of the charred breakfast lingers on your tongue. as you're grabbing a mug, you casually ask "hey baby? would you ever want to take a cooking class with me?"

I lowkey hate how it turned out, but not enough to keep it in the drafts. hope you enjoyed!!

[starredblood]

CHIHIRO

PART FIVE

kang sae-byeok x fem!reader

synopsis: you take a leap of faith to go find sae-byeok after everything from the past makes sense.

wc. 5.6k

warnings: reader gets bad ptsd, fluff, comfort, angst | authors note: another series done! thank you so much for everyone’s constant words of encouragement this might be my last series for a while now that school is starting to get more hectic but stay tuned for one shot fics in the close close future because i already have something planned!

(chihiro masterlist)

(summer, 2021)

Sae-byeok did it. She finally had the guts to do what she was deathly afraid of—running away from Deok-su’s gang without a trace. After completing one last task, she threw her phone into a nearby river and abandoned her dinghy apartment for a much smaller, less spacious one two towns over. Although this meant she was free from his deadly grasp, her source of income was plummeting. It also meant she was farther away from the library and you.

Now, that Cheol’s back in school and summer is starting to dissipate by the changing colors of the leaves above her, she knows she has a cruel awakening this winter. Her new apartment—if you could even call it that, wont have proper heating for the cold weather. But she’s gone through worse.

An hour before visiting hour ends, Sae-byeok heads over to the children’s school. She can already envision the way Cheol is going to look at her for not appearing these past two weeks—shiny doe eyes and trembling lips. And that’s exactly what happened.

“I thought something bad happened to you.” Cheol grumbles.

The Kang siblings sit across from each other in the visitors lounge. Cheol, as of recently, began carrying at least two books everywhere he goes and this time is no different. But he isn’t interested in the contents inside the books—not when his sister reemerged out of the depths.

She tucks stray hairs behind her ear and couldn’t even look at him in the eye when he said that. It was too much. She promised him a lot and he still hasn’t seen the ends of any of her promises. ‘I promise we’ll live together soon’, ‘I promise mom will be here soon.’

“Sorry.” she mutters. “I had to do something—work related.”

“It’s okay, I guess.” he says, knowing he can’t ask too many questions regarding what Sae-byeok does to earn their income.

“How’s school? It’s your first week back right?”

He nods. “My teacher already said I was doing good with reading. I just need to get better at math.”

“You’re a smart kid, you’ll catch on.” she says, her voice too flat for her liking. She couldn’t even sound encouraging enough to lift his spirits, not like you could.

Just then, a volunteer from the children’s home enters the visitors room to announce that there’s only ten minutes left before the kids have to get ready for bed. Cheol’s demeanor falters by the news, his posture slackens and his eyes turn worrisome. He never gotten used to living in these environments, not when he’s outcasted by the other kids for his accent and lack of understanding of South Korean culture.

“Don’t worry,” Sae-byeok assures immediately after noticing. “I’ll be back tomorrow way earlier.”

“Okay.” he says, forcing a small smile. But he doesn’t sound convinced. “Maybe we could stop by the library?” he suggests, hopeful. Sae-byeok becomes immobilized—she doesn’t want to tell him no but she refuses to go back and face you. “…I haven’t seen noona in a week.” he adds as if he read her mind.

“What?”

He gulps. “I asked the other librarians for her but they all said she was sick. Do you know if she’s okay?”

Suddenly, a thousand scenarios of everything that could go wrong with you flashes past Sae-byeok’s eyes. Her hands began to turn clammy and her heart races. If you’ve been sick for a week that has to be alarming. But she couldn’t sit here and not do something about it, right?

Sae-byeok was your girlfriend before everything that happened to you. And after she learned about your condition, retrograde amnesia, there was nothing she could do but watch as you move in without her. It left her crying for days on end and in her mind—this was a much worse fate than death. Her biggest fear was losing you, and the fact that she did in one of the worst ways felt like life was taunting her in the cruelest of manners. You were the brightest thing in her dark and harsh life and then you were gone.

But she promised herself one thing, that she would watch over you regardless. Even if you move on to another lover, or hate her when you met her all over again, it didn’t matter—she still dedicated her time to watch over you beneath the shadows. Yet, it was hard not to get close to you again, it was a grueling task to not be able to reach out to touch you, kiss you, and just talk to you. But her fears still loom around her mind. What if she loses you again? Is it better to let go than risking the chance to love again?

The morning before she ran away, it felt like everything was back to normal again. And for a split second she forgot about your amnesia, that’s why she kissed you all of a sudden. The guilt of leaving you in the dark is swallowing her whole.

She blinks of out her deep thoughts while Cheol observes her curiously. “I’ll go check up on her.” she tells him.

“And…Is she your girlfriend again? If she is then can I be her friend again?” he asks, hopeful.

“No, she isn’t. But—“ she cuts herself off to lick her chapped lips. “you can be her friend again.” she tells her brother who beams.

Once visitation hour is over, Sae-byeok decides to take the tiring walk to your apartment rather than taking the subway, which she can’t afford to do. The second she made it to your block, an unsettling feeling started to form in her stomach like she was on the verge of throwing up. She tried not to feel in order to prevent herself from panicking. If you weren’t okay, then she wouldn’t know what to do with herself.

Before she knocked on your door, she shut her eyes and waited until her breath became steady. After knocking several times nothing occurred and she couldn’t hear anything on the other side of the door, so she does it again with more force. Still nothing.

It’s too late for you to still be at the library if you went back to work and she doubts you’d be at your mother’s house. Sae-byeok had to rationalize with herself that putting in the four digit code for your door’s code was good—she had check up on you.

When she opens the door, she barely pokes her head out to the dark entrance way. Her voice cracks when she calls out your name after not speaking for a while. Sae-byeok slightly tenses when Sen, your cat, appears from the dark alleyway surveying the door. The cat appears to be well fed, right?

She studies the apartment from the entrance. Nothing looks out of place except a kitchen cabinet that was left open revealing all of your medications and first aid kit. She says your name a little more louder, her voice bouncing off the walls. Yet nothing. The panic was starting to set it, she curls her hands into fists to stop them from shaking. Sae-byeok needs to be realistic, there’s no way you’re hurt—life wouldn’t do that do you. You’re too good, have too much to live for, and you provide good things to people’s lives. You gave Sae-byeok hope. If you’re gone, where will that hope in her go?

So, she steps inside and shuts the door behind her. She slowly drags her foot to the hallway. This place showed so signs of life besides Sen. All the lights were off except a singular lamp by your cat’s bed. When she made it to your bedroom door, the grasp on the doorknob was slippery by her sweaty hands.

She opens the door and you’re there and you look…okay?

You were sitting propped up against the bed frame with your large headphones and a book on your lap. When you see her appear from your doorway, your eyes widen but remain stiff in the position she saw you in. The only thing that was out of place, if you could even call it that, was the tip of your nose and your cheeks were red. You must’ve been recovering from a cold or something. But this means Sae-byeok worried for nothing and she trespassed into your home unexpectedly—like a freak.

“Shit, shit.” she whispers frantically, her heart falling to her stomach. She ducks her head to face the ground like she saw something unforgivable—her face becoming hotter by the second. “I’m sorry.”

Immediately, she goes to shut the door and walks swiftly to leave. She’s never been so embarrassed and now she needs several days to cope with what she’s done.

When she bursts open the door she heard you weakly say something, “Wait.” but it was too late, Sae-byeok fucked up bad. She had to leave and not face you again.

Sae-byeok reaches to pat her cheeks and felt something wet. She looks strangely at her tear coated fingers, not understanding why these high emotions bursted out of nowhere. You were okay, so why was she crying?

──・──・・✿ ・・──・──

You are familiar with grief in a sense. It’s an emotion that never truly goes away and after losing your dad when you were just a young child, you thought that’d be the last time you would deal with grief. But now that you’re older you know that it comes in more ways than just death. You grieve for the person you once might’ve been—a smarter more driven one. And you grieve not being able to reconcile with Sae-byeok, who never left your mind ever since you met her…again.

But you don’t know what it was about her that drew you in. Was it her once cold estranged demeanor or the way she softly touched you and looked at you? Maybe it’s both, it has to be. There’s nothing negative you can say about that girl, is that was love does to you?

Love is another tumultuous emotion. You didn’t know what it meant to love a person who isn’t family, but you found your answer. After confronting your mom weeks ago, you found only one thing that linked you and Sae-byeok before the accident—a journal.

The journal was small and stained by mysterious dirty liquid since you found it discarded by the dumpster. It only showed you fragments of your life before you forgot: you met her through tutoring Cheol, you recommend her favorite book, you were the one that showed her the botanical garden, you took a punch for her and that was the same night you shared your first kiss, and in the last page was a declaration. This declaration was your epiphany and you want so badly to tell her about it because you’re certain she wouldn’t runaway once she finds out.

But she disappeared.

When she came into your apartment, you were still recovering from your fever and was too weak to chase after her. But that was telling enough that she does care about you, she’s just afraid. But how can you alleviate her worries when she began hiding?

So, you didn’t have a choice but bring poor Cheol into this.

“She likes to buy her cigarettes at this convenience store.” the boy told you the other day in the library, showing you the location in your work computer. “She always takes me here to buy my snacks.”

With that piece of information you think, what other time besides night time would Sae-byeok appear at this convenience store? So, after work it’s decided: you’d wait around all night to see if she shows face. It was risky and highly unlikely that you would see her after one day of loitering.

That’s why it took you three nights. You hung around at this convenience store from eight o’ clock till midnight, whipping your head whenever the doorbell rung and drooped back to stare at your phone when it wasn’t her. And every time, you brought the stained journal and the Heaven book.

On the third night, the doorbell rings and you barely look up to see who entered the shop. You had to double take when you saw the person wearing a familiar forrest green utility jacket and short raven hair. Sae-byeok casually strolls to the front desk. It was nerve wracking deciding wether to approach her or wait for her to notice your lonely presence by the seating area—her reaction could be of many. By the time you decided to go up to her, she already paid at the counter and turned around to head out. She freezes midway when she saw you.

It was hard to determine what she could be thinking. Her eyes boring into yours, lips pressed into a thin line, and jaw clenched. But the rest of her body seemed tense—nervous even.

You clear your raspy throat and say to her soft yet firmly, “Let’s talk, Sae-byeok.”

She finally blinks and looks away from you. “There’s nothing to say.”

Clutching onto her cigarette pack, she shoves them into the depths of her pocket and walks around you. You didn’t understand what she was so afraid of—you’re right here, no anger or fear in your voice.

“You have to know I’m just going to follow you until you let me talk to you.” you say matter-of-factly, ushering out the door and letting the cool summer breeze hit your cheeks.

“I can’t do this.” she says, her voice louder now that they’re on the streets. It was the same thing she said last time and you wonder what she truly means by it.

“But you can!”

You flinch. Sae-byeok crosses the busy walkway street, with both sides of the road filled with cars waiting for the light to turn green. You’ve been keen on avoiding crossing large walkways but you can see her tall lean body start getting smaller and smaller until she ends up on the other side of the road.

There wasn’t much time for you to think about your next moves, even with how hard your heart was hammering against your chest. Sae-byeok was getting away. You ball both your hands up into fists and force your shaky legs to cross.

By the time Sae-byeok had crossed the streets she heard two things: cars honking and a blood curling scream that came from you.

You didn’t know what to do, you were walking by so slow due to fright of the cars revving their engines all around you. By the time you made it to the center of the road, the light had already turned green and then the honking began.

Suddenly, you were back in that taxi car a few months ago with your head leaning against the backseat window and in a moments flash, you saw a car’s headlights aim for impact on your side.

You didn’t know what to do except collapse on the ground and cover your ears from the blasting horns bursting your eardrums. The whole time you tried bracing yourself for impact again, just like you did a few months ago. But the cars—they had to be taunting you, they couldn’t stop beeping and beeping. And all you could do was scream for help while you crouched helplessly on the ground.

Your shouting got louder when you felt something touch you, something calloused and warm. By the time you opened your eyes and realized Sae-byeok tried to carry you bridal style across the street you both collapsed on the sidewalk after she tripped on the ledge.

“Are you ladies okay?” and “Why didn’t you cross?” were heard in multiple variations by passerby’s once the two of you fell on the cemented floor. But neither of you cared enough to respond. Sae-byeok only cared about your well being and you were too busy reliving the horrors you experienced the day you got into that accident.

“It’s okay, it’s okay!” you heard a muffle voice say but you were terrified to remove your hands from your ears. What were once screams coming from your mouth was replaced with soft trembly cries. “You’re safe—I got you! You’re safe, please don’t be scared!”

You shook your heard, convinced that you were still in the middle of the street.

“Please—Please open your eyes and look at me, please!”

The fear started to subside when you felt gentle motions trace along your back and several kisses to your temples. By the time you started to slowly remove your shaky hands from your ears, it felt like light years have passed.

“That’s it. Now just open your eyes and you’ll see that I’m here and I swear I’m not leaving your side.” you hear Sae-byeok fully and clearly. You bat open your eyes, your eyelashes drenched with tears and you saw her. Sae-byeok’s eyes were also swimming in tears but she only cared to wipe yours away with the pads of her thumbs. “You’re safe and look—I made sure that you have your things.”

She grabs your book and journal that were sitting beside her from the sidewalk and placed them on your lap. You couldn’t comprehend what was going on yet, still catching your breath but she waited for you. It got better when she began to reach for your hands and rub them against hers, blowing into them to provide heat. When your eyesight became clearer after the tears and fear dwindling away by Sae-byeok’s gentleness. It was exactly what you needed.

Her hands were scraped and red after the fall, but she didn’t care.

“I’m…” you croak, your voice still unstable. “I’m…sorry.”

Sae-byeok pauses what she was doing and stares at you, her eyes drooping with melancholia. “No,” she breathes with her low and raspy voice. “you didn’t do anything wrong. Please believe me when I say that.”

You try to hold back more sobs but end up hiccuping instead. And all you had the ability to say was, “T—Take me home.”

She stood up first and reached both her hands out to you, helping you stand up. She lets one of her hands drop and the other one to remain holding yours as she leads you to your apartment—making sure you’re walking on the safe side of the sidewalk the entire time.

The whole walk home was excruciatingly embarrassing as you started to register what occurred to you and how many people saw. Including Sae-byeok. It was a huge moment of weakness in your end. Ever since the accident you can’t handle even standing close to cars let alone hear their loud honking noises on the bustling sides of town. And what just occurred was your biggest fear. Your stomach drops having to imagine what would’ve happened to you if Sae-byeok wasn’t there or hadn’t noticed.

Your tears were fully dry by the time you both made it to your apartment and you dart straight to your bedroom to collapse on the mattress. Although you felt much more relaxed, sometimes you felt your hands get shaky again.

Sae-byeok sat on the corner on the bed, quietly observing you which is something she’s a natural at. Now that the high intensity situation was over, she felt more insecure about being able to soothe you and console you with words. She hoped that at least her presence was helpful rather than a nuisance.

“Stay tonight.” you murmur. You could see her chest stop moving, she was holding her breath to your request. For a moment you thought she’d stand up to walk away but she just nodded. A small breath of air escapes your mouth, you think it’s a sigh of relief. “Thank you.” you whisper much quieter.

Sae-byeok remained in stand by, ready to move in lighting speed when you get back up from your bed. You sluggishly head to your drawer and pull out a stripped pajama set for her.

“I’m going to freshen up.” you mutter flatly. It was as if all of your emotions had been drained from your body, it worried her. “You can change in my room…I’ll have a toothbrush for you when I get out.”

Sae-byeok didn’t know what to say. It hurt seeing you so fragile and shaken up.

After the two of you got ready for bed, not saying another word to each other, Sae-byeok tried to figure out how to talk to you in a way that’ll ease your aching heart. Her luck of courage came when Sen started to crawl on top of her chest, making you chuckle softly at the sight.

“She’s cute.” Sae-byeok says, gently patting along the cat’s back.

You remained quiet which makes her anxious. Then you swallow thickly before speaking up after a long time of just pure stillness, “Promise me you’ll still be here by the time I wake up.”

She holds her breath to think. You still needed to talk to her about that kiss and what it meant. Maybe this’ll be the last time she’s going to lay on your bed, comforted by the warmth radiating off your body.

“Okay…” she says and lets Sen hop off her chest and onto the ground, her nails could be heard pattering against the floor. She was afraid to hear you out, but the anticipation of knowing was killing her. “I’m sorry I kissed you.” she says in rapid fire speed.

Again, you were quiet until she heard vibrations that sounded like chuckling. “It’s okay—it was just unexpected.”

“Yeah.” she gulps and lets both her hands rest on top of her stomach.

“Girlfriend.” you hum as if that was the most interesting word you heard.

“What?”

“You were my girlfriend, right?” you ask but didn’t hear a peep from her. “How long have we been dating for?”

Sae-byeok shuts her eyes and grinds her teeth. It was like you were taunting her. “Stop.”

“Weren’t you curious in the slightest when I brought your favorite book and a journal when I saw you at the convenience store?”

Her silence only made you more determined to tell her everything you found out. And you refuse to let what just occurred to you get in the way of telling her. You rise up from the bed and turn on your lamp, letting soft yellow lighting to intimately illuminate the room ever so slightly. Sae-byeok watched as you got up and picked up something from your desk and sat down on the mattress where you were previous laying on.

First, you flip through the pages of her favorite book and find a particular section that was bookmarked with a sticky tab “Look at this quote from your favorite book, ‘There are all kinds of things of things in the world I don't understand, but I really wanted to understand you.’…”

Sae-byeok has no idea where you’re going with this. She follows suit and also decides to sit up. “What are you trying to say?”

“Don’t run away, Sae-byeok.” you whisper, looking deep into her concerned eyes. “Let’s talk. I swear it’s better than running away from it.”

“What else is there to say—?”

“Technically, we never broke up. So, you’re still my girlfriend.”

“Thats not how it works.” she frowns. It if were only that easy—but the small smile creeping up your lips made her stomach do that weird thing that it has been doing ever since she met you. However, you were right, she can’t runaway from the sad truth anymore. It was time to say goodbye to you for good. “Okay…Let’s talk.”

You place the book beside you and sort through the torn and yellowed pages of your journal that looks like it belongs in ancient times. You stop midway through the pages and glance back at her. “Is your favorite color green?”

“Yeah?” she answers questioningly. “How did you know?”

“My mom tried to throw away everything containing you but I found my journal by the dumpster.”

“She never liked me.” she mutters so low that you didn’t hear her while you flipped to the last page of the journal.

“Most of the pages are stained or ripped but I found something interesting about you.” you explain. Your eyes gleam with adoration at whatever you were reading. “Here: ‘Sae-byeok reminds me of flowers like azaleas, wisterias, and lily of the valleys. What these flowers have in common is that they’re all poisonous yet so beautiful. More beautiful than flowers we can actually touch and that perfectly describes who she is as a person. A beautiful yet untouchable one. However, she allows me to hug her, caress her hair, and kiss her cheek from time to time because I think I gained a trust with her that is special. The more I got to know her the more I realized that my fondness for her transcends that of friendship and even romance…I don’t know what it is yet but I hope it’s love. I think I love, Sae-byeok’.”

Silence fills the room. She stares at you intently yet her face was beet red. What you said to her was an overwhelming profession of love that she never imagined anyone would say to her. She doesn’t think she deserves an ounce of what you wrote in that journal. But the way you’re staring at her with full admiration in your eyes is making her think otherwise.

“I told you about that list I make to help my memory.” you add with more fervor, smiling wider than before. “It’s all about poisonous flowers—I didn’t know at first why I chose that to memorize but now I do. My feelings for you never went away—not really.“

“I’m scared. I lost you once I don’t think I can lose you again.” she finally admits what she meant all along. Her ultimate fear—loss. Even if she wants nothing more than to be with you.

“I understand. But love always comes with sacrifices, doesn’t it?”

“I’m so sorry.” she whispers. “For everything—for running away. For being the reason you…” she couldn’t even finish by the guilt bubbling her stomach.

You press your forehead against hers and reach over to take on her hands to rub soothing circles around them. “It’s okay. I know you never meant to hurt me.”

When she didn’t respond verbally, you didn’t expect her to do so by softly pressing her lips against yours. Unlike the first time she kissed you, which was a mere second peck, this one was meant to be savored. The moment you kissed her back, she adjusted herself to hover over you—one hand trailing up your arm leaving goosebumps on its trail and the other holding the back of your head. Sae-byeok’s hands roamed all over you with ease, you couldn’t be surprised.

The kiss had so much familiarity. The movement of your mouths against each other felt routinely yet the fiery passion had never engulfed. When you both pull apart, you were laying in between your pillows and her on top staring heavily into your eyes. The feeling of her fingers touching the exposed skin on your waist made your stomach knot up.

“I promise I won’t hurt you anyone, okay?” she reassures you breathlessly. “I hope this means you’ll be my girlfriend again.”

“I’ll love to be your girlfriend—again.” you say with a soft laugh that she reciprocates before dipping down to kiss you one more time.

The morning started with clanging sounds coming outside your bedroom. After several failed attempts to open your eyes, you forced your tired body to cooperate with you when you saw Sae-byeok’s spot on the bed empty. The only trail she left was the imprint of her head on your pillow.

You walk to the kitchen and your heart swells with content seeing Sae-byeok. She kept her promise.

Currently your girlfriend was sitting crisscrossed on the floor in front of Sen’s bowl, pouring her food. You place a hand on her shoulder to not startle her too much and sit beside her on the ground, observing as Sen began to dive into her food bowl.

“Good morning.” Sae-byeok says, leaning to press a chaste kiss on your cheek. “I think I fed her the right amount. Hope you don’t mind.”

“You did it just right.” you yawn, leaning your head on her shoulder, still sleepy.

“Are you free all day?” she asks after.

“Unfortunately, I have to go in for work in about two hours.” you sigh exasperatedly. “Good thing you woke me up because I might’ve forgotten to turn on my alarm.”

“I’ll make breakfast now then.” she says and nudges you off your shoulder playfully. You let out a groan while grabs your hand to help you rise off the floor. Her hands remain holding yours however and her eyes were hesitantly searching yours like she was trying to look for any sign of discomfort. “Um…Do you want to go visit Cheol after work with me? I know you had a tough time last night so if you want to get rest I understand.”

“What? Of course, I want to go with you.” you say. “Just please pick me up.”

“Obviously.” she rolls her eyes and strides to the kitchen. “He missed you a lot by the way. He was asking me if you could be his friend again if it meant you’d be my girlfriend again.” she says coolly.

“Really?” you snort and lean on the counter to observe her as she began prepping the stove. Instinctively, you reach over to move a stray hair that fell above her eyes. This gesture alone made the tips of her ears red which she tries masking with her pokerface expression. She amuses you so much. You could get used to this very well.

“Really.” she repeats softly, a subtle smile setting on her lips.

This quiet morning with you is something she hopes to see for a very long time. Although, she may not have a lot of things to give—she promises to herself that she will provide you with all the care and love in the world now that she has you back in her arms. But she’ll never tell you that out loud, of course.

──・──・・✿ ・・──・──

(winter, 2021)

It is one of those rare occasions where Sae-byeok takes Cheol to visit you at your apartment. Usually, the three of you spend time in the library, cafe, or the children’s home. But rarely ever in your place—she thought it was still too early in your relationship to make a big commitment like that. It was your apartment, it’s personal. And by bringing Cheol to your personal abode it meant that Sae-byeok was seriously committing herself to you.

You two have only been dating since August. And throughout these past months of being with you, it brought her nothing but peace and happiness. She didn’t have to be anyone but herself around you and vise versa. You both understood each other from the get-go. She never thought she was able to be vulnerable to anyone like this before.

When the Kang siblings walk up the stairs to your apartment floor, Cheol practically couldn’t stand still from the excitement of seeing you and your home. Sae-byeok had to hold back laughing at him as she knocked on your door.

“Noona!” Cheol beams once the door opened, expecting you to appear right after he spoke.

Sae-byeok gets an unsettling feeling when the door revealed no one at first. She tells her brother to quiet down, making him pout.

When an older woman who has striking facial similarities to you appeared instead, her heart rate began to increase slowly but surely. This must’ve been your mother—was this some sort of family gathering that she wasn’t aware of?

However, when your mom opens the door wider, her hand was placed on her hip and she frantically look between Sae-byeok and Cheol. Worry was covering all of her features.

“Are you, Sae-byeok?” she says, almost demandingly but her eyes couldn’t look anything but stressed. Sae-byeok nods and is unable to open her mouth up to speak. “Who’s this?”

When she doesn’t respond Cheol steps in and bows. “I’m Cheol. She’s my sister.”

“I see.” your mom says, raising a skeptical brow. “Sae-byeok, can I speak to you for a moment—alone. Come in both of you, of course.”

Something was very off putting about all of this but it doesn’t look like they have a choice but to enter the apartment. Besides all of your belongings still here, yet there was no signs of you anywhere.

While Cheol sat on the living room couch with a book to keep him busy, your mom pulled Sae-byeok to the kitchen.

“She got into a car accident last week.” she says, her voice quiet but loud enough for Sae-byeok to hear the tremble in her voice.

The world felt like it collapsed in on her with this news. Sae-byeok didn’t want to show any signs of fear that she was feeling and gripped onto the edge of your kitchen counter to hold herself together. This wasn’t happening. Not to you—this isn’t true…

“She’s—alright.” your mom says hesitantly and runs her hands through her unruly hair. “But the doctor said she has some sort of amnesia from the accident—and we still aren’t sure how many memories she’s lost but the doctor is positive she lost at least a year’s worth of memories. Hopefully, not any more but she’s still has so much head trauma to determine.”

Your mom started to become blurry in Sae-byeok’s vision. It’s been awhile since she’s cried—especially in front of someone. If you lost a years worth of memories that must mean—

“Just forget about her, okay?” your mom declares softly. Clearly she was trying to sound more stern but her weariness made it sound like a tired plead. “She forgot about you…and it’s best if she recovers without your presence. It’ll just make it harder for her to heal. So, please, don’t come back and don’t go looking for her. For her sake.”

When Sae-byeok and Cheol stood outside your apartment with the news of your tragic accident, there was nothing left to say.

Cheol couldn’t help but glance up, concerned by his sister’s behavior. She’s always been quiet but this type of quiet is scary. Her facial muscles kept twitching due to holding back any signs of sadness and worry. She didn’t want to say it but she was trying not to feel anything right now.

You forgot about her? Just like that? Sae-byeok is upset, at you, at the world—at everyone. She doesn’t understand how you broke her heart so silently yet so harshly.

“Noona,” Cheol finally speaks up, a little fear in his voice for her reaction. “is she okay?”

Sae-byeok doesn’t say anything, making him puzzle up a story.

Now, Sae-byeok has to decisions to make: take a lifetime to get over you or secretly watch over you if you decide to continue to live your life without her in it. So, what will it be?

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