#wow that's gay of them...... good for them

[violetisconfused]

Part 2 of ArcherPrince/TelePollo incorrect quotes

Telemachus: Well, Apollo and I finally did it!

Odysseus, Penelope, and Athena: *gasps, shocked expressions, etc.*

Telemachus: That's right... We kissed!

Telemachus: What’s your body count?

Apollo: Do you mean sex or murder?

Telemachus: Two brooooos!

Apollo: Chillin' in a hot tub!

Telemachus: Five feet apart 'cause we're not gay!

Apollo:

Telemachus:

Apollo: *tearing up*

Telemachus: Babe, c'mon...

Apollo: AND HERE YOU REALLY HAD ME THINKING WE HAD SOMETHING.

Telemachus: Babe...

Telemachus: You have to apologize to them Apollo.

Apollo: Fine! But I must warn you that this might make me a better, nicer person and that is NOT the person you fell in love with!

Telemachus: I want you back...

Apollo: 3 words, 8 letters. Say it, and I'm yours.

Telemachus: I got food?

Apollo: ...you know me so well.

Telemachus: I want to kiss you.

Apollo, not paying attention: What?

Telemachus: I said if you die, I wont miss you.

Apollo, with a headache: Advil me up, daddy.

Telemachus: I will short out the language centre of your brain if you say anything like that ever again.

Apollo: You look good in that hoodie.

Telemachus: You know where else I'd look good?

Apollo, zero hesitation: My bed.

Telemachus, at the same time: By your side- wait, what?

Apollo: I think I'm falling for you.

Telemachus: Then get up.

Apollo: When you said 'Magic in Bed', I wasn't expecting this...

Telemachus: *pulls out card from deck* Now, was this your card?

Apollo: Holy moly-

Telemachus: Wow, Apollo, you want to hold my hand before marriage? How awfully lewd of you.

Apollo: We literally slept together yesterday.

Telemachus: That's NOTHING compared to the lewdness of holding hands.

Kidnapper: I have your partner.

Apollo: What? I don't have a partner...

Kidnapper: Then who just called me a lowlife bitch and spit in my face?

Apollo: Oh my god, you have Telemachus.

Telemachus: Hey, wanna take a shower with me?

Apollo: I have a gun in that nightstand beside the bed. If I ever say no to that question, I want you to take it out and shoot me because I’ve obviously gone crazy.

Telemachus: *banging a pen on the table out of frustration*

Apollo: Stop that. How would YOU feel if I banged you on the table?

Telemachus: I—

Telemachus: I don’t know the correct answer to that question.

Telemachus: Being gay is a constant battle between "I wish to sit on a window bench with my lover, our legs tangling as we listen to the birds" and "Hey, let's go throw rocks at fascists" and I think that's very sexy of us.

Apollo: If the window's open and you time it right, you can do both.

Apollo: Okay, but what if we went to dinner not as friends this time?

Telemachus: AS ENEMIES?!

Apollo:

Apollo: Telemachus is playing hard to get.

Apollo: Little do they know, I'm a master at playing hard to get rid of.

Telemachus: Strawberry milk doesn’t taste like strawberry OR milk.

Apollo: Go the fuck to sleep Telemachus.

[lazicalm]

“But when I met you, right away, I knew that you would never, ever, ever hurt me.” - You Love Me by Kimya Dawson

(Reference picture below)

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

ok i just finished vol 8 and now i’m gonna start the manga from the beginning >:33 wish me luck!!

[chettyspagetti]

CONFETII 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉 I’m needing more ideas to draw them …. Any middle school or highschool headcannons you have for them are 100% appreciated

[hatterladz]

No okay so LMK is so funny esp Macaque and Wukong bc my gf and homie just sit there and watch it together and I don't think any of us ship ShadowPeach but good god do we fucking sound like it bc we're sitting there like "I need them to hold hands. I need them to cuddle and hold tails like silly little monkeys in a monkey pile. I need them to get into silly monkey business together" and none of us care about the romance we all care about Friendship and have cuteness aggression to these stupid fucking legos

[plantwriting]

My autism superpower is being able to connect every single song i listen to to just roll with it blood in the bayou with minimal effort

[ichthyorelationships]

an idea i invite anyone else to write about / run with lol....

the premise that The Change gets all messed up for alberto, say it's something that can happen from stress, &/or happens rarely and you just have to wait for it to resolve itself....used as some parallel to struggling through some emotional turbulence / upheaval / questioning / Realizing Things, etc etc

[pasta-pardner]

ok so u know that feeling when u go out to a store and you notice that the cashier is Obviously Gay-- bc their hair/pins/vibe/whatever are a giveaway-- and u wanna let them know that you're Also Gay, but you cant mention it verbally bc that would be Weird, so u just sort of stare at them real hard hoping to telepathically communicate???

thats what this scene is to me.

[redriotinggg]

When Sanji is bitten by a spider that has eaten the Cupid-Cupid Fruit, the Straw Hats learn there is only one way to cure his illness.

A genuine love confession.

There’s only one crewmate capable of the job.

(read on ao3!!)

—

The Straw Hats have stopped at a small summer island to gather supplies, stock up on necessities, and do any repairs to the Sunny.

When the bulk of the hard work has been done, their captain insists on a bonfire, having found a perfect clearing in the forest.

Sanji’s by the grill, cooking up plenty of burgers, hotdogs, kebabs, and other barbecued treats to fill his crew’s voracious appetites.

He happily watches his crew enjoy their afternoon—Brook’s violin emitting a joyful tune, Nami and Robin engaged in an intense game of cards, Franky enthusiastically sketching something onto a large page, Zoro fast asleep on the grass, and Luffy, Chopper, and Usopp running around as they play their own variation of tag.

Perhaps Sanji’s gaze is drawn to one of his crewmates in particular, following the flow of his curly hair, smiling at the sound of his laughter.

Perhaps. Sanji won’t tell.

“Woah! Look at that!”

The rowdy trio’s game of tag comes to a halt at Chopper’s cry. Luffy and Usopp look to where the reindeer is pointing, their eyes lighting up when they spot the thing that caught his attention.

“Cool!” Luffy begins to race over, but he’s stopped by Usopp.

“Wait! Don’t run, you’ll scare it!”

The trio carefully make their way over to a nearby tree, their attention grabbed by a fairly large spider.

Sanji shudders when he sees the creature. He looks away, focusing on the food. He is not interested in the further details of their exploration.

Luffy, Chopper, and Usopp fawn over the spider, speculating on its species and origins.

“It’s markings kinda look like hearts,” Usopp observes. “They’re even a pinkish-red colour.”

“Aw, so cute!” Chopper squeals.

“I’m gonna name it Cupid!” Luffy declares. “That guy’s in charge of hearts ‘n stuff, right? This lil' girl could be his pet or something,” he laughs.

A bit later, Sanji calls out to them. “Oi, get your asses over here, the food’s ready! And wash your hands if you’ve been touching bugs!”

Saying their goodbyes to Cupid, the boys rush over to claim their dinner.

The crew happily enjoys their meal, thanking Sanji with wide grins that only get wider when he presents them with dessert.

As the evening turns to night, the crew wind down, packing away their belongings and making their way back to the Sunny.

“Are you sure we can’t stay and camp?” Luffy whines. “It’s like, the perfect night for it! We've got the perfect spot!”

“No,” Nami denies flatly. “We didn’t bring the stuff for it and it’s already getting late. Plus, I want to sleep in my own bed. Now hurry up and get going! Franky! Turn on your flashlights, I can’t see!”

“One set of nipple lights, comin’ up! Ow!”

Usopp and Sanji take up the rear, picking up the last of Sanji’s portable kitchen gear. The chef is happily listening to the sniper’s latest tale when he feels a pinch on his ankle.

“Ow! What the hell?”

“Sanji! Are you okay?”

“Yeah. I think something just bit me.”

Usopp looks in the grass, trying to find the culprit. When he does, he gasps. “It’s the spider from before! Cupid, why’d you go and bite Sanji? That’s not nice!”

“‘Cause it’s a good for nothing insect,” Sanji grumbles.

“Actually, it’s an arachnid—”

“You better not have poisoned me, you stupid bug,” Sanji yells at the spider, which scurries away.

“It’d be venom, not poison.”

“You are not helping!” Sanji snaps. “What is this, a Robin impression? Stop with the unnecessary bug facts, this shit hurts!”

“Does it really? You should get Chopper to look at it as soon as we get back to the ship. Here, gimme your stuff, I’ll carry if for you.”

“I can carry it myself, asshole. I’m not that weak.”

“Really? ‘Cause if you’re in pain, the Great Usopp would be more than happy to carry you back to the Sunny.” Usopp smirks and flexes his muscular arms, sending Sanji a wink.

Sanji pretends like his heart isn’t trying to escape his chest and throw itself at Usopp’s feet.

Internally, Sanji is a mess. Externally, he rolls his eyes and hefts his baggage further in his arms.

“You do two push-ups and think you’re a strong guy now, huh? C’mon, let’s go before any other bugs try to make a meal outta me.”

When they make it back to the Sunny, all of their things put away, Usopp continues to hover by Sanji, his concern rising with each passing moment.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Usopp asks. “You’re all red. You shouldn’t be sweating this much.”

“‘M fine,” Sanji mumbles. The way he sways on the spot doesn’t do much to help his case.

Usopp holds him steady, in full crisis mode as he watches the usually stable chef falter. He hoists Sanji in his arms, dashing to the infirmary. “CHOPPER!”

“What happened?” the doctor asks. Usopp puts Sanji on the bed and recounts the tale.

By now, the rest of the crew has come to investigate the cause of the commotion. They all stand in the doorway, shocked to see their crewmate suddenly so ill.

“It’s only been like 20 minutes! Why does he look bad already? Sanji, don’t die!”

Usopp’s dramatic cry unfortunately has some merit. Sanji doesn’t look well. He is the complete opposite of the perfect picture of health he was less than an hour ago. In just a few minutes, Sanji seems to have lost all of his energy. He’s flushed and sweating, breathing heavily and brows furrowed as he fights some type of pain. Even his usually shiny hair is limp and brittle-looking.

Usopp’s heart positively breaks at the sight.

“I can’t make him a proper anti-venom without knowing exactly what type of spider that was,” Chopper states. He clicks his tongue as he looks at the inflamed, red bite mark on Sanji’s ankle.

“Brook, you help me get Sanji out of this suit. Everyone else, get out so I can treat him. Now!”

The rest of the crew gather on the deck, concern on all of their faces.

“Usopp,” Robin says, pulling the sniper from his worsening spiral of anxiety. “You said Sanji was bit by the same spider that you saw in the forest, right? Draw me a picture. We can use it to get information from the locals.”

Usopp nods. He runs off to the galley and grabs a sketchpad nestled between Sanji’s collection of recipes and cookbooks. Before long, he’s got multiple drawings of the spider, complete with colours and accurate depictions of its heart-shaped markings.

Franky and Nami go to the hospital to ask about an anti-venom while Luffy, Zoro, and Robin go ask around town.

On the Sunny, Usopp paces back and forth, biting his nails and their beds away to nothing as worry engulfs him. He peeks into the infirmary, heart breaking a little more every time he catches a glimpse of Sanji’s pained face.

“Sanji will be alright,” Brook assures him when he exits the room. “He’s stable for now. Our cook is strong. He’s got the best doctor caring for him and crewmates desperately seeking out information. He’ll pull through.”

Usopp tries his very best to believe him.

The rest of the crew returns to the Sunny in less than an hour. Everyone, except Sanji, who’s resting in the infirmary, gathers at the kitchen table.

“Turns out that our little spider has eaten a Devil Fruit,” Robin tells them. “Everyone in the area is familiar with the spider that has eaten the Cupid-Cupid fruit.”

“Wait, the spider is actually related to Cupid? That’s hilarious! I’m like a fortune teller! Hahahaha! Ow!” Luffy rubs his sore head, pouting at Nami.

“A bite from the Cupid Spider can do multiple things, depending on who is bitten," Robin continues. "However, it only causes illness in someone who has a requited love but has not actually expressed their love. To save Sanji, whoever is in love with him must tell him the breadth of their true feelings, lest he remain bedridden forever. Or worse.”

The crew sits in silence for a moment, reflecting on the information.

“Alright, who’s in love with Sanji?” Luffy demands.

All eyes go to Usopp.

He is so red in the face Chopper is concerned he'll pass out. His eyes are so wide Zoro wonders if they'll pop out of his head.

"What are you waiting for?" Nami cries. "Get in there and confess your love so Sanji gets better!"

"I-I-I-I-I-I'm not—"

"Oh, please, this is not the time for your anxious, denial bullshit! Go fix Sanji!"

"Can't we just kill the spider instead?" he suggests meekly.

Luffy and Chopper gasp in betrayal.

"That would be a bad idea," Robin warns. "That spider is very well-respected on this island. Causing it harm would no doubt incur the wrath of all the locals. There is nothing you can do but speak from the heart."

"You got this, Usopp-bro! Just tell Sanji how you feel! It'll turn out super!"

On stiff legs and with wobbly knees, Usopp leaves the galley and makes his way back to the infirmary, deaf to the sounds of his crew's encouragements.

Despite his desperate pleas to the universe, Sanji is awake when Usopp steps inside. He looks even worse than before. His skin is pale, covered in a sheen of sweat. His eyes are lidded and he's got bags under them like he hasn't slept in days. But even still, a smile lights up his face when he sees the sniper.

"Usopp," he says, voice quiet and raspier than usual. His smile is no less bright.

"Sanji," Usopp returns, taking a seat next to the bed. "I've got news. So, turns out that the spider that bit you has a Devil Fruit power."

Sanji scoffs. "Of course it does. Just my fucking luck. So, what? It ate the Sick-Sick fruit and now I'll feel like shit forever?"

Usopp chuckles drily. "No, nothing like that. We can actually help you pretty easily. Or, I can, anyway. I just... I have to... to..."

The sniper closes his eyes as a fresh wave of anxiety washes over him. He can't do this! It's too scary! But he has to.

How many times has he been in this position? Forced to watch someone he loves suffer from an illness, unable to do anything but try and distract them from their pain.

This time is different. Usopp can stop this. He can stop Sanji's suffering. All he has to do is be honest.

Well, best to rip off the band-aid.

Taking a deep breath, Usopp grabs Sanji's clammy hand in both of his. "I love you!"

"I-I've loved you for a long time, Sanji," Usopp admits, and the words start flowing, unable to stop. "I don't know when exactly it started, but I know that I do because I think you're so amazing! You're so cool, and strong, and talented. I love that you act all grumpy but you're actually extremely kind and considerate. I love spending time with you! I love it when you tell me stories about Zeff and the Baratie. I love that you always ask me questions when I'm telling you about something because you make me feel heard. I love that you always wrap your arms around me when we party. I love it when you smile at me and dance with me.

"I love how you look in the early morning and when the sun is setting. Well, I love how you look all the time because you're so gorgeous it isn't fair! All handsome and pretty at the same time. You dress nice, and you smell nice, and you make me food and protect me—! Sanji, I love you!

"I'm sorry it took a stupid spider to force me to say it but I lov-"

Usopp's speech is cut off as desperate lips meet his own. He melts into Sanji's embrace, returning the kiss with all he's got. His heart is beating so fast he thinks it might pop right out of his chest, but nothing could possibly take him away from this moment.

When they pull apart, foreheads resting against one another, Usopp is taken aback by Sanji's appearance. He looks as healthy as ever, save for his very intense blush. But his eyes are shining and his smile is hopeful and adoring.

"Do you mean it, Usopp? Do you really feel that way about me?"

"I do. A-And you? D-do you feel...?"

"The same," Sanji promises. "Everything that you said, I feel the same way. Usopp, I love you! I—did you really just cure me with a love confession?"

Usopp blinks, and then he bursts out into laughter. Sanji joins him, the two holding one another as they laugh at the absurdity of the situation, their hearts full to bursting.

"Anything is possible on the Grand Line," Usopp reminds him. "Especially for the number one lover on the seas, the great Captain Usopp!"

"Number one lover, huh? I don't know if I believe that." Sanji pulls Usopp in close, whispering into his ear. "I think you'll have to show me."

"T-that can be arranged."

Usopp leans in and Sanji goes to meet him, lips pressing together again, and again, and again.

[teatitty]

I simply think it's funnier if Nemuri is actually completely fucking oblivious to Hizashi and Aizawa's feelings for eachother because they've always been affectionate and weird with no personal space and all but joint at the hip so the day she finds out they're dating she blurts out "SINCE WHEN!?" and discovers she's one of the last people to know despite how glaringly obvious they were being

Naturally, they never let her live it down

[stealingpotatoes]

Since you finished JFO

opinions on each mantis crewmember?

cal: baby. baby boy. i love him so much i'm holding him so tight he's been through so much and his whole story before and during JFO's so interesting and so cool very fun to have a jedi who was just Hiding not trying to fight at first

bd-1: baby baby baby best friend baby

cere: director said cut but whoever made the characters for JFO heard 'serve cunt' and thats why they managed to one up Cal with such a complex and interesting character

greez: the only way I can describe him is he's an Uncle. uncle greez <3 i love him he's so good. he doesn't know what's happening w all this jedi malarkey but he's trying his best and i love him and he loves cal and this funky lil found family <3

merrin: [borat voice] mai wiiiife

that one boggle whatever the fuck it was called: why did i need this to get the full crew achievement. like sure its adorable but why

[scionshtola]

like i do for my own purposes (affair au) headcanon some homophobia in ishgard due to the importance of heirs to the nobility but it would not then follow that there are no gay ppl ahdjdkskdk

[cuteniaarts]

@katkastrofa, circa 40-ish hours ago: Hey, what if our newest bunch of OCs adopted a baby from one of the other brothel girls who knew she couldn’t afford to raise one? That would make for some fun shenanigans :D

Me, with a notoriously non existent sleep schedule, instinct of self preservation or concern for my poor wrist: Alright, bet. Watch how fast I can make you fall in love with this hypothetical baby >:)

Daneli as a gentle and loving caretaker-turned-adoptive-mother is something that can be So Personal, actually, and originally I was going to leave it at this quick sketch, but then I got carried away thinking about what this child will grow up to be like raised by this little gang of misfits, so…

Here she is!! A little older and so, so beautiful, I need more of her in my life immediately, she’s way too precious

And, because I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t also add a sapphic element to this absolute cinnamon roll, a small crack ship that I’m only half serious about for when she’s a little older still:

All in all, we may be getting impossibly far from canon, but I for one already cannot get enough of sweet darling Kumisai <3

(I fully drew three pieces from scratch in 9 hours I cannot feel my brain or my hands anymore send help)

[jaggedwolf]

I keep forgetting that the first Ace Attorney game takes place in 2016 and not 2001, and to me, that makes it even more likely that Ema's "intellectually attracted" comment isn't that this sixteen year old doesn't know what gay people are but specifically that in her head Lana Does Not Date, Lana Has Never Dated Duh

[endlesslytired]

Words cannot express my emotions about this whole arc of the game

[whilomm]

liking the aesthetics of manly man stuff but trying not to buy from right wing MRA 4channers