#wowie this got long

[wind-rider]

hey :) can i ask for stuff from the mythology you talked about in infodump? or more specific things about how cyrinism is / can be expressed?

OH BOY CAN YOU

I'm going to talk about BOTH and this post is going to be SO long and you can't stop me

MYTHOLOGY

(Theft of the Moon, art by yours truly, 2024)

Overview

I'm just going to talk about the mythology for the POV culture because I cannot possibly go into the other ones without this becoming a whole-ass dissertation. So, just assume that everything that follows is specific to that culture/belief, though variations of it do definitely exist in other cultures in the world (including the variation I spoke about in the infodump channel; as it's not the exact one used in the story, I'll leave it for later).

To begin with, the various figures in the mythos are p much entirely represented by specific animals or general inhuman Creatures! Exactly how many figures there are depends on the specific subset of the religion, as there are regional variations, but the simplest and most widespread of them has only two: Cana and Korr.

At their base, they are the representations of the concept of opposites, in all the forms those take. Respectively, they are Sun and Moon, Day and Night, Light and Dark, Destroyer and Creator, Hunter and Hunted, Death and Life, Fool and Trickster and so on. Their most popular representations are of the Sun and Moon.

Cana, the Sun, is depicted as a canid of some kind; usually a dog, though occasionally a wolf or fox. The Moon, Korr, is naturally depicted as a cat, whether housecat or panther (or other big cat) depends on the teller, era, and locality.

A lot of superstitions revolve around these animals as a result; a dog, especially one with pale fur, was seen as a herald of disaster or drought, while a dark-furred cat was revered as a sign of good fortune. The opposites, ie a dark-furred dog or a pale-furred cat, had different meanings; the former a symbol of either betrayal or resistance, and the latter one of instability and change or triumph over evil. Dogs were unheard of as pets in the region until only a century or two before the modern day, and cats are still far more common.

The concept of light and heat as a harbinger of destruction and ill fortune is generally seen as having arisen from the unforgiving desert and savannah environment that the POV culture arose within. The country within which the story takes place, Havel, has grown more secular in recent decades, but some neighbouring countries that, unlike Havel, have not become as much of a cultural melting pot over time, still retain these beliefs as a significant part of daily life.

Creation Myth

In the beginning, there was only the Renn, or the Empty, a state of non-existence at the beginning and end of the Universe. The Renn was the absence of everything- it was not dark, nor light, it was simultaneously infinitely dense and containing no matter at all. It did, however, have a single imperfection: the point of collapse of the world before it, the tiniest seam in the Nothing that cloaked it. Time didn't yet exist again- the seam simply was, an antithesis to all that didn't exist around it. From the seam spread an Imbalance, and from there, two forms in symmetry, unfolding outwards and bringing with them Existence.

These forms were the original Twins, Cana and Korr, the light and the darkness. Like all things, they existed in opposition- one could not exist without the other, but they actively counteracted each others' existence. Cana's bright burning self forced Korr to protect himself, lest they were both destroyed. From the once-Renn around the, he surrounded himself in soil and stone, and settled there, within the delicate shell of the newborn World. There, in the safety of the dark, he created Life, and bided his time until he might emerge once more.

Night and Day, and the Theft of the Moon

For a long time, the sky was dominated by only Cana. The sun reigned over all, and daytime was eternal, leaving the world a scorched and lifeless place. Cana's shadowy twin, Korr, couldn't stand to emerge from beneath the ground lest he be destroyed by her light.

However, one day, he decided to try and speak with her. He waited until she was resting on the horizon, a rare moment where the heat and light wasn't so strong, and crept up to just beneath the surface, hiding in the shadows of a narrow cave. From there, he told her of all the wonders of life that were trapped below the earth from her heat, and if she could perhaps share the sky with him, they could emerge and she would no longer be alone within it.

Cana refused- she didn't trust her brother's tales, and she was afraid of the cool darkness he described. But Korr didn't relent, and eventually, they came to an agreement- she would hide herself for one minute, and allow her brother alone to emerge and walk the surface for that time, no longer. But Korr was cunning, and as she hid, now blind without her own fire, he snuck through the shadows and snatched a piece of her light.

Furious, she gave chase to burn him back beneath the earth, but despite how his stolen light burnt in his mouth, Korr didn't stop running, and shadow fell over the earth in his wake, becoming night.

Here, the story differs according to the telling. Some say that the moon is that stolen light still held in Korr's teeth, trapped in an eternal chase through the sky. Others say that he tried to hide it, and it burned half of him away, becoming his pale twin Pyrrhus, running as the moon alongside him in the night. Either way, the ending is the same: the siblings continue to chase, and day continues to turn to night, and with just a little less light burning from Cana's paws, life was able to emerge and grow.

Another variant of the story, central within Havel's Church of the Blind Creator, tells that Korr was blinded by his stolen light and swallowed it, causing his descendants, Cyrin, still to burn from the inside. Most Cyrin's tendency to easily overheat, often resulting in harm to themselves, is the reasoning for the latter. This is in contrast to the primary telling of Cyrin's origins, which says that in revenge for Korr's betrayal, Cana cursed/blessed (depending on the teller's opinion) some of his proudest creations, humans, with her fire and strength, and those were the first Cyrin. To some, this painted Cyrin as harbingers of loss and destruction; to others, gifted ones tasked with using Cana's power for good and new creation.

-- -- --

This is getting really long, so I'll make a new post for Cyrinism later and tag you so you see it. Thanks for asking!!! Please feel free to ask any further questions or clarification on anything I've talked about here :]

[aelitaslittlereminders]

Who runs this blog --> What's your main blog and what other projects have you done? If you don't mind sharing that information of course :)

a/n: I don't mind!!

My main blog is VERY inactive and needs a new username/picture cause it hasn't changed in many years, but it's affa9262

Projects people might know:

I wrote Code Revenge, the story of Xana's kid and her quest for revenge.

I was script editor and the voice of Aelita for the very short lived Code Lyoko Evolution Fan Dub.

I'm still working on a code lyoko rpgmaker game.

I made a video essay on Code Lyoko.

I made this short Code Lyoko Evolution Abridged test and plan to make it into a full thing at some point....someday.

I also let's play and stream.

I run an interactive story format blog similar to this one more recently but there's art to supplement answers and it isn't a positive reminder blog as well for undertale as asriel (and chara can respond too now) it's called @save-asriel-dreemurr

I'm on the writing team for Project Eradication as well. It's a fan made continuation after Code Lyoko Evolution.

I have a few professional voiceover roles floating around as well but nothing very well known.

Idk if I'm missing anything significant...I've been doing creative stuff on the internet (mostly code lyoko themed) for like...12 years lol

[mav-doodles]

I’m late to the party but can I ask what the lore is for the uranium nuzlocke au,, uranium invaded my brain and I need content or I will explode/j

Of course! I have a handful of junk for it, and some stuff is not set in stone. I hope you're reading for a WALL of rambles.

Essentially, it starts with the change that Pluto's 'starter' isn't one of the usual three. Pluto decided to befriend an, at the time, unknown machine-like Pokémon who was nicknamed Digit. In time, it'd become known that Digi was a prototype Urayne.

Digit's deal, as of right now, is they were created as a testing ground for how Urayne would eventually work. Digit has become incredibly wary of humans, not fond of how they treat them. They broke out of the lab, vanishing for years. In time, they were found by the Professor, and with some convincing, went back to the lab with them. they became a sort of... Assistant.

Now, that aside, consider almost everything playing out normally... Up until the Championship.

Pluto and their team were overwhelmed by Gamma Urayne, and as a result, lost. Tandor was sent into a Nuclear Winter, and the remaining residents formed camps and groups that began to live either underground, or in well protected cities (Like Bealbeach).

CURIE has earned herself the title of Apocalypse, due to her overall success, and is a CONSTANT threat to the survivors. Apocalypse has upgraded her radiation suit to be a bit more durable, and beneath is a bodysuit that's modified with tech that utilizes that of the stasis tanks. Her body is being kept in a constant state of stasis as a result, where she has no need to eat, rest, and won't age. In short, so long as the tech is functional, she will not die. It, however, does not protect from outward damages.

Pluto, post-Championship, resides between one of the underground camps, and Zeta itself alongside Apocalypse. After learning more about her- specifically, who she is, as well as slowly coming to agree with her views on humanity itself, Pluto's sort of sided with her. Pluto's role had shift from preforming expeditions for resources and information for the survivor party, to gathering intel that Apocalypse and Urayne can use to further their destruction and elimination of people in Tandor.

Normally, Pluto wouldn't have sided with her at all, but they agree with the thoughts that humans are very greedy, and tend to not care for some unless it benefits them directly. Which, unfortunately, is true in both of their cases. Their original relationship is a sort of "you do this for me, I do this for you" Sort of deal, where Pluto do what she requests, and in turn, Pluto is kept safe from the wild Nuclear Pokémon, and gets to reside in Zeta where it's a bit safer.

Pluto is seen by the remainder of the survivors as THE person to deal with Apocalypse, and they all held this 13 y/o in high regard. Pluto's a child- they don't NEED all these responsibilities and praise on their shoulders. They never asked to be called a 'hero' or 'savior'. They're just... Tired. They already have enough trauma and self doubt to deal with.

Over time, Apocalypse and Pluto shift more toward a sort of... family relationship. Apocalypse cares for them like they're her own child- but these feelings partially come from the buried memories from what used to be Lucille. It's a feeling of "I don't know WHY, exactly, but you mean something to me." Kellyn plays a minor role in it all too- acting more as a neutral party, especially after learning who Apocalypse was. He's determined to try and convince her to cease her destruction, and get her to understand that things aren't... What she thinks they are. Granted, she is very far gone, with little room to change her mind. But it is possible. He also just missed his wife, lets be honest.

What happens past that point though can go into a couple directions, depending on the circumstances;

Pluto could remain with the survivors, and in time, Apocalypse is put down.

Pluto remains with Apocalypse, but Apocalypse's own overconfidence becomes her undoing. The result of this is she either dies, or is heavily wounded and has to be put into stasis just to keep her alive until a way to fix her can be found.

The latter results in Pluto snapping and taking over her place, finishing what she started. In time, Tandor would eventually be cleansed by the Hazma, and it'd be converted into a land for the Nuclear Pokémon, and some regular Pokémon, to roam without a fear in the world.

There's also a 'Good end', where the Championship fight ends differently. Pluto doesn't necessarily WIN, but they manage to convince CURIE just how wrong she is, manages to break through that wall of hers. Her own rage before Pluto breaks through overtakes Gamma Urayne, and throws them into an absolute FRENZY. They cause damages left and right while Digit tries to stop them. CURIE realizes her hate has hurt the one she's promised to take care of and protect. It breaks her. After casting the Interface aside, she does all she can to get Urayne to stop and calm down, almost getting herself killed in the process.

Afterward, she willingly answers for her crimes and aids in restoring Tandor.

Thank u for coming to my Ted Talk

[automatonknight]

daaamn that was something

[taughtdefense]

did i hurt anybody? did i hurt anybody? from devon! ( screwdecorum )

you're single-mindedly, entirely hellbent on getting devon out of this fucked up situation... preferably, entirely unscathed physically, so long as you can help it. the last thing you'd ever want is to have her blood staining your hands, resting underneath your fingernails, unable to be scrubbed clean no matter how many times you wash your hands, which is followed by the ashy taste of rot resting in your lungs. for as long as you've existed, you know by now that its never preceded by it. the rot leads to guilt, which sticks to your already heavily traumatized mind like tar, infecting every inch of both your waking & sleeping minds - human & not.

YOU'RE NOT GOING TO LOOK BACK. YOU CAN'T. LOOKING BACK WOULD MAKE IT ALL TOO REAL THAT COBRA KAI IS GAINING GROUND, THAT YOU'RE LOSING IT. there's not enough time to look back, either. every passing second counts, & you need to take advantage of it before it gets you or devon hurt, or cornered. shit. not good. there's strength in numbers, & numbers are not on your side — neither is time.

all the world will be your enemy, & when they catch you, they will kill you… but first they must catch you.

your existences have always felt the way sickly-sweet, choking, syrupy-thick honey does — persisting in the roofs of esurient mouths, overwhelming the tastebuds, clogging the throat & sealing the lungs. how fitting that this lifetime is no different.

you wonder if you'll eventually see this situation play back to you in the form of a nightmare, with more & more gruesome outcomes, whatever the reality will be. it wouldn't be the first time it's happened, it won't be the last. there will never BE a last time. not with your immortal existence. your creators will never grant you reprieve.

such is the curse of your unending existence, ethan wilson !

with every step you take away from the pack of brainwashed teenagers, they close the gap with two steps, taunting you, calling your name, & devon's, telling you that you're losing ground, that it'll be over soon. ...whatever the hell that means. nothing good, obviously. the twisted look in kenny's eyes upon cobra kai's approach had been enough for you to INSTINCTIVELY grab devon's hand in yours, in preparation to run. then nolan, your own karate rival ( in a similar vein as sam is to tory, as miguel had been to robby ), suggested they hunt you down. their reasoning involves something about getting revenge for your boyfriend ( robby ) abandoning them.

❝ go, go, go ! ❞ you shout over the burning in your lungs, over the anger & sadistic delight you can clearly sense from the cobra kai students, even without needing to use your abilities, ❝ don't stop, devon ! keep running ! ❞

the thrill of the hunt & revenge keeps cobra kai going. it backs you & devon into a corner.

you hadn't been anticipating an all-out ambush with devon by your side, spearheaded by none other than kenny... but the seeds had to have been planted by silver or that newcomer, sensei kim, no doubt. there's no other explanation, as far as you're concerned. if you were alone, that might be better so you can give into your... darker impulses... but with devon here, you have to make sure she's safe. scaring her is out of the question, too. so is revealing your eldritch secret.

fuck.

you half-push, half-yank @screwdecorum forward, so she's in front of you, watching her back while she runs forward on the sidewalk, feet pounding on the pavement. you force your legs to move faster despite the semi-faux burning in them. you barely remember that you need to breathe around her to keep up the illusion that you're human.

you run through the dark, thankfully empty streets of the valley, cursing softly as you hear cobra kai follow the two of you, hot on your heels. you need to figure out how to lose the group of at least ten cobra kai students, for devon's sake more than your own. HER SAFETY MATTERS MORE THAN YOURS, just like with all of your friends/karate allies, & boyfriend. but what worries you is that there has to be more students on the way. ten versus two seems hardly fair, but because you're pretending to be human, you can't single-handedly fight them & win. besides, you don't know if you'd be able to stop yourself from using less than a fraction of your genuine strength on them - you might wind up killing one of them on accident, & then where would you be ?

you'd be no better than terry fucking silver.

❝ did i hurt anybody? did i hurt anybody? ❞ she asks. you shake your head slightly but don't verbally reply - not yet, at least. it's not exactly safe to reply yet.

if anything, you're glad at least one of you is terrified of the outcome of hurting a human... even if it falls under self-defense, because you're literally being chased by cobra kai right now. you glance sharply at the back of her head as you exhale heavily, dark brown hues widening slightly when you hear kyler laugh from somewhere behind your current position. if you were human, you'd have felt fear. but all you feel is anger. the mounting bloodlust makes a jarring reappearance, anger broiling underneath your skin, setting every neuron in your brain ablaze. them going after you is expected. it's obvious. it's pretty much routine, at this point. YOU'RE THE ENEMY OF COBRA KAI. you always have been, being a member of miyagi-do. you're fucking dating the prince-cobra-turned-enemy. but devon is different. or so you thought. but the thing is, she hasn't hurt anyone ! why are they going after her ? is it because she left the dojo ? that doesn't make it okay. NONE of this is okay. how dare they go after her. devon is your friend, your little sister figure.

it makes you furious, & that much more determined to protect her from them.

you turn a corner into a dark alley, pulling devon onto the ground & crouching next to her - one side leads to another street, so it's not an enclosed space. your backs being literally to the wall wouldn't be good. sweat makes your brown hair limp, sticking to the sides of your face, which you stubbornly push back with your hand. your whole body seems to burn from the inside out, supernova bright, twice as intense. you exhale heavily, raising a hand to settle on devon's shoulder, attempting to comfort her from where you're crouched in the dark alley. you can't sense the enemy nearby - you think they'd gotten lost, the shadows had worked in your favor. they're getting further away, now, you think. you jump on the opportunity to speak.

❝ no, you're okay, you're okay. it's not your fault. ❞ you reply, referencing her earlier question. ❝ if anything, it's purely my fault. i d-didn't know they'd come up to us like that. i'm sorry. ❞ you're downright miserable, always so shockingly quick to take the blame for situations outside of your control. it's as instinctual & unconscious as a human needing to breathe. you quickly shove your earplugs back into your ears because they'd started falling out. you keep your eyes on hers, blinking rapidly as your mind races a hundred miles a second, faster than your heartbeat screams in your ears. you try to comfort her despite the circumstances, because of the circumstances.

❝ i swear to god, i won't let that happen. but i need you to do something for me, devs. ❞ you start, reaching a hand into the pocket of your jeans. you retrieve your phone, unlocking it, scrolling to your emergency contact list. robby is first on your list, your dad & mom are second & third respectively, sam fourth, miguel fifth, hawk sixth, mr. larusso & johnny seventh & eighth respectively... so on, so forth. you push the phone into her hands before she can speak. your hand removes itself from devon's shoulder to cup the side of her face gently, so she can look back up at you. your brown eyes are full of an intensity that you've rarely displayed before around anyone. you're dead serious.

❝ call robby, call sam. let them know what's going on. do you think you can do that for me ? ❞ you don't wait for a reply before gently squeezing her shoulder. you rise from the pavement, breathing heavily as you take a step forward. ❝ i'll lead them away. ❞ you tell her. your voice is alarmingly steady; you're not intent on leaving room for her to protest. you've already made up your mind on what you're going to do. ❝ i'll be fine. ❞ you can't guarantee that.

[swagging-back-to]

me literally planning out every sim and every single house and every room bc i miss playing the sims so so so bad

[gnfthinkr]

I’ll follow you to the end of time if you keep posting gnf, you are the best!

stoppp you are too nice :( thanku and i promise i'll keep posting gnf for as long as i can he is such a comfort to me and so many others. i've got new ideas for little edits so cool stuff to come in the future too :D

[emiplayzmc]

I just got new glasses and holy crap-

I CAN SEE CLEEEEEARLY NOW, THE RAIN IS GONE-

[junkissed]

leaning on the everlasting arms

member — childhood best friend! pastor's son!joshua x f reader genre — angst, smut, some fluff, bible college au word count — 10.3k (my first fic over 10k wowie!!) synopsis — as kids growing up in the same church, you and joshua were inseperable, until you got to an age where it was considered immoral for girls and boys to be friends. when you find him again just before graduation, he's different than you remember; but so are you. content warnings — female reader, she/her, reader is implied to be smaller (i'm sorry), discussion of gender roles & religion, no religion is mentioned by name but it's heavily implied to be a form of christianity, reader & shua are both seniors in college, reader wears skirts/dresses but not really by choice, this whole thing is pretty blasphemous oops smut warnings — descriptions of female anatomy, virgin!joshua x virgin!reader, mutual masturbation, phone sex, unprotected sex, fingering, oral (reader receiving), hints of a voice kink, size kink, praise, begging, really vanilla missionary but it's hot, nicknames (sweetheart, baby, angel) notes — although i am no longer religious, this is partially based off of my own experiences with the extremely traditional christian church i was raised in. however, please keep in mind that this is fiction and does not reflect my beliefs nor joshua's beliefs so don't take the plot too seriously. this piece is not meant to discuss whether certain religions are "right" or "wrong" so please do not comment/send me asks trying to start a debate! we're all just here for a little sexy time with shua it's not that deep note #2 — for those who aren't familiar, the title is the name of a hymn and i thought it was funny bc joshua big sexy arms hehehe

as far back as you could remember, joshua was your closest friend.

his father was the pastor of the church your family went to, and as luck would have it you were both in the same grade, so it wasn’t long before you became inseparable. you saw him at minimum three times a week: sunday morning, sunday evening, wednesday evening.

you spent most of your childhood together. sitting next to each other at every service, sharing your bibles with each other whenever one of you left them at home, sneaking donuts away from the box at the table outside the sermon hall that was supposed to only be for the adults.

you did everything together, and told each other everything. that is, until you reached middle school. boys and girls weren’t allowed to sit in the same services anymore, and you had to stay in separate buildings for every church camp and conference. 

the worst part was you didn’t even understand why. what did they think you were gonna do with him? kiss him? no amount of money in the world could get you to do that! joshua was your best friend. who else were you supposed to climb trees and build forts and sneak donuts with? kissing was stupid.

when you asked your mom about it, she told you the same thing everyone else did: about how men of god had a different path and needed to hear different messages in order to grow up to lead their own churches one day. you thought it was stupid. what if a woman wanted to lead a church, why are men the ones that have to do it? but she would just shake her head and tell you it's just the way things work in the church, you'll understand when you're older.

you were allowed near him less and less until the only time you were able to see him was at the after-service brunch with his family, and even then that began to happen less and less as the years went on.

and of course it was church rules, so there was no arguing with them because that would mean arguing with god, and who were you to question his authority? there would be no special exception for you, no matter how much you protested to your mom that you would never, ever think about joshua like that. in a fit of anger one day you blew up at her, shouting that she had had friends of the opposite gender when she was in high school, so why couldn’t you? it wasn’t fair. but she had just sighed and stared out the window, clearly ending the conversation. many years passed before she finally told you about her life before she came to church, recalling all the times she had been hurt by men she had loved and trusted. you understood then why she had wanted to keep you sheltered and safe, but you still didn’t agree. but then again, if you had been allowed to do what you wanted then maybe things would never have ended up the way they did. perhaps you have her to thank.

back then, all you could do was hold on to the little time you had with him until eventually you stopped seeing him altogether. 

more summers passed and you started spending all of your time memorizing bible verses with your fellow “women of christ”, missing the way you used to spend your time with your best friend.

but then you went off to bible college like had always been planned for you, and everything changed. instead of continuing to follow the strict schedule that was laid out for you, you finally got a little taste of freedom, and you realized what you’d been missing all this time. everything that you’d been taught was sinful, evil, wicked, was what brought you more pleasure than you’d ever known was possible.

you still had to pretend to be a good girl for the people around you, who, for reasons you couldn’t comprehend, were still dedicated to their life of purity. or at least they acted like it. maybe everyone was secretly just like you, hiding their sins behind a friendly smile and a firm handshake every sunday morning.

you weren’t hurting anyone with the things you did in private, and the feeling of rebellion was a kind of satisfaction you didn’t know you were allowed to feel. you were an adult, making your own choices now and facing whatever consequences that came with them.

there was only one consequence. for some reason, all the impure thoughts you had always centered around joshua. no matter what dirty books you read or videos you watched, the man you always pictured giving it to you was joshua.

you hated that after all these years, everything still came back to him. you fought it, tried imagining actors or celebrities in his place instead; characters from your books and movies and shows, anyone but him. you wanted to save whatever memories you had left of him, think of him in a good light like you used to when you were younger, but the way he plagued your mind was worse than the ones in the book of exodus.

but now, in your final year of college, you thought you had finally gotten yourself under control.

that is, until you were leaving one of your bible lectures and all the control you’d convinced yourself that you had crumbled away in mere seconds when you saw a startlingly familiar face standing by the door. a face you hadn’t seen in far too long. 

“joshua?”

“hey,” he says with a smile, like no time has passed at all. like it’s been hours since you’ve seen each other, not years. 

there are so many things you want to say, so many things you want to ask him, but you’re frozen in place. why is he here? where has he been? how did he find you again?

“it’s been a while,” he says with an awkward laugh when you don’t say anything.

you nod, still in a daze. “yeah. quite a while.”

he smiles. “well, anyway, i’ve got a meeting to go to in a bit, but… i just wanted to see you.”

“oh,” you say. what else is there to say? what can you say to make up for the years lost that you’ll never get back?

he looks at his watch, the conversation clearly coming to an end.

“can i give you my phone number?” he says. a deep shade of pink creeps into his cheeks but he either doesn’t notice or purposely doesn’t acknowledge it. “maybe we can talk sometime, catch up.”

“i– yeah,” you manage. god, it’s so good seeing him again. “yeah, that would be really nice.”

you’ve given up on homework for the night, spending your entire afternoon in a daze since you ran into joshua.

so many years, yet you still can’t get his smile out of your head.

you close your eyes, hand dipping below the waistband of your pajama pants automatically. it’s frightening how easily you’re able to bring up a picture of him in your mind, so much clearer than before now that you’ve seen what he looks like all grown up.

and grown up, he has. you had been too stunned to get a good look at him while he was in front of you, but the way he’d changed was immediately apparent and the image in your brain now feels almost unreal. 

his hair was a little longer and a little darker, and he was much taller, with broad shoulders that looked way too perfect in a suit jacket. but his face hadn’t changed a bit. maybe his jaw was a little bit sharper and his smile lines were a little bit deeper, but his eyes were the same ones you had always known. 

your hand slips lower and lower until you’re gently running the tips of your fingers over the panel of your underwear covering your pussy, moaning quietly when you feel how wet you are already.

no wonder it’s been so hard for you to focus all day. you’ve been too busy pushing away thoughts of joshua burying his fingers in your tight, wet cunt, cooing about how good you’re being for him and how long he’s waited for you.

automatically you feel your other hand grabbing for your phone, desperate to hear his voice again. you hadn’t said more than a few sentences to him earlier, but you feel like you’ll go crazy if you don’t hear him while you’re in this state. so needy for him and only him, and he doesn’t even know it.

your fingers shake as you press the buttons, knowing you’re about to get yourself into a whole world of trouble but not being able to stop yourself.

“hey.” he answers on the second ring. his tone is deep and husky, and your breath catches in your throat for a second, not used to hearing him talk like that; the last time you heard his voice was long before puberty, and you’re still navigating how to talk to this older, sexier joshua.

your first thought is to wonder if his morning voice sounds equally as sexy, but you’re immediately pushing it out of your head when you hear what sounds like him stifling a yawn.

“sorry, did i wake you? it– it’s not important,” you start, ashamed of how needy you are that you’d call him in the middle of the damn night, unprovoked, like some kind of bible group booty call.

the regret is already starting to set in. he probably hasn’t changed as much as you've built him up in your mind, probably still the obedient gentleman he was before. he’s probably already well on his way to being the head of a church, so of course he wouldn’t be thinking about you like that—

“no. it’s fine,” he says, interrupting your thoughts. “always have time for you, sweetheart. what’s up?”

you shove down the butterflies that flutter up in your stomach at the name he calls you, a nickname he always called you when you were kids because he was taught it was always polite to talk sweet to a lady. 

except it feels so much different now. talking sweet to a lady as kids was easy, innocent. but one wrong word now would completely change the meaning behind those pretty words of his, and you aren’t sure how to feel about it.

“i… just– it’s been so long, joshie,” you whisper, surprised at the sudden feeling of tears springing up behind your eyes. you didn’t mean for this to happen— you didn’t mean for any of it to happen. not back then, and certainly not now.

he lets the line go quiet, finally sighing into the phone after a long pause. “i missed you… so much.” he murmurs your name, and the way the rumble in his voice goes straight through you immediately reminds you why you called him in the first place.

your free hand toys with the hem of your underwear again, fighting to keep down the whimper that threatens to escape you. “missed you too,” you breathe out. god, you can’t believe you’re doing this. but for the first time in years, the man you’ve been picturing in your head is right here with you, fulfilling some of your fantasies that you never thought could ever come true.

somewhere deep in your stomach you feel guilty about it, getting off to the thought of him and he doesn’t even know it. would he want to know? would he be okay with it? would he hate you forever if he knew?

he clears his throat, snapping you back to attention and you realize you must’ve been silent for a while, thinking.

“um, so, what are you doing?” you ask, trying to seem casual, but it comes out as anything but. nobody calls anyone this late at night and asks what they’re doing without having a dirty reason for doing so. 

all you can do is hope he’s either too innocent to pick up on it, or that he doesn’t believe you’re the type of person who would call for something like that. you wonder if he still thinks of you as that perfect little obedient church girl he grew up with.

“nothing, just–working on… stuff,” he replies awkwardly. clearly he doesn’t want to go into detail about what he’s doing, and you’re already afraid you’ve interrupted his sleep; you’re mentally kicking yourself for all the blunders you’ve made, and you haven’t even been on the phone for five minutes.

“what are you doing?” he asks back, and you freeze, trying to come up with some excuse, anything. fuck, think of something!

“h-homework,” you sputter out, attempting to hide your unconfident answer with a cough.

apparently it works, because he hums in response, the line falling quiet. you hear the rustling of papers on his end, and you press your fingers harder against your cunt, heartbeat racing in your ears.

your fingers brush against your clit a little rougher than you intend, and a little whine escapes your lips, catching you off guard. you slap a hand over your mouth, hoping it had been too quiet for him to hear and he hadn’t been paying attention.

“are you…?” he asks suddenly, and your cheeks flush, caught red-handed in your sinful act.

you clear your throat, praying (both metaphorically and literally) that he doesn’t notice anything off about you. “am i what?”

his silence on the other end of the phone speaks volumes.

“joshua, oh my god, no, i–”

“what did you just say?”

you freeze. “what… did i say?”

when he speaks again, his tone is even. “don’t you know it’s a sin to take the lord’s name in vain, sweetheart?”

that nickname again, and now you know he’s doing it on purpose. innocent, pretty words, completely changed in a split second.

you let out a short laugh, scrambling to find a cover. “must’ve forgot then.”

he hums. “i remember you spent a whole month trying to memorize the ten commandments. we must’ve been what, eight or nine? you wouldn’t have forgotten. i may not have seen you since we were kids, but i’ve still known you most of my life.”

“it was an accident, you know how it is. just slips out. of course i remember them all.”

he tsks, and it feels like your heart stops. “did you forget that lying is a sin, too? you’re two for two now, wanna try for a third?”

damn him! damn his good memory and damn his stupid witty comebacks and damn the way he so quickly manages to unravel you.

you scowl and don’t respond to his question, your silence enough of an answer for joshua to know he’s right.

“why did you call me tonight?” he asks calmly.

you answer truthfully this time. “just wanted to hear your voice again. i really did miss you.”

the phone goes quiet again, and for a second you’re afraid he’s hung up, but then you hear him exhale. “it’s late. what are you doing?”

“i’m in bed, josh. don’t worry, father, i’m not staying up past my bedtime.”

he chooses to ignore your remark. “in bed doing what?”

you give him a half-suppressed laugh. “in bed laying down. what else would i be doing?”

“well, with the way you were trying to hide your moans earlier, i would’ve figured you were doing something more exciting. but if you’re just laying down, then i don't want to keep you long, might as well hang up…”

“no!” you squeak out, cutting him off. you swallow, trying to collect yourself as you repeat the word. “no. fine, whatever, you caught me. but– please, stay.” you can hear the plea in your voice and you know you should be embarrassed at how pathetic you sound, but you aren't. the only thing you can think about is joshua, joshua, joshua, and how good it feels to talk to him again.

“i’m here,” he says softly, and you let your eyes close with a sigh, relieved he’s not going to chastise you. but as much as you’ve both changed as you grew up, deep down you knew he wouldn’t. you figure you could do just about anything and he wouldn’t try to tell you what to do. he’d always been like that, and it’s what you’d loved about him; he never tried to control you or shame you for not acting like the perfect little angel everybody wanted you to be. 

you couldn’t say the same about others in the church. maybe that’s why you’d started to drift away from them and why joshua’s friendship coming to an end had left you so devastated. he had been the one and only person you could always count on, and they had not.

“are you still there?” he asks gently, and you realize you’ve been quiet for too long thinking.

“yeah,” you say finally.

“are you still touching yourself?”

you pause, stifling a gasp, taken aback by his forwardness. hearing him say it out loud made everything seem so real, the realization setting in about what you’re actually doing. “n– no.”

and it’s true. your hand has long since dropped away from your pajama pants, too nervous about being discovered to continue.

“well, why not?” he says. “don’t stop on my account.”

your mouth falls open. “i–”

“clearly you wanted something from me when you called. what is it, sweetheart? i can’t help you if i don’t know what it is you want.”

your brain practically short circuits at that, and it takes a very long minute for you to collect your thoughts into a coherent sentence. you want a lot of things, but you don’t know what’s okay to say or not or if he even wants to keep going. which is a silly thought, because he wouldn’t have asked if he didn’t want to know. it dawns on you that maybe… maybe he’s curious, maybe he’s thinking about you, too.

“what kind of help?” you ask, still testing the waters. you think you have an idea of what he means, but you ask anyway. you’ve never done anything like this with anyone else, only by yourself; not because you didn’t want to, but because you didn’t want it to be with someone who wasn’t joshua.

“you said you wanted to hear my voice,” he says, and you swear his tone has dropped an octave. “then let me talk to you.”

you whine a little, still holding back but not putting in as much effort to hide it. “m’kay.”

“would it make you feel better if i told you i’m hard right now?”

you suck in a breath. “yeah?”

“yeah,” he says. “just thinking about you.”

you feel a rush of emotion at his admittance. pride? satisfaction? whatever it is, it makes your cunt throb, knowing that just the thought of you can get him going.

finally you dare to slide your hand down your pants again, unsurprised when you find your underwear sticking to you with how wet you are. you’re soaking, and you haven’t even done anything yet.

“hold on,” you manage, putting the call on speaker as you set your phone on the table beside your bed, scrambling to shove your pants and ruined panties off and onto the floor.

once free, you pick up your phone and turn off the speaker, holding it to your ear with shaky hands.

“all ready now?” he asks softly, and it reminds you of what he used to say before you’d play pretend games together. always making sure you were ready. he was hot back then, too, and you mentally curse yourself for never realizing it sooner.

you hum. “mhm. comfortable.”

“good,” he says, and you can almost hear him smiling. “go ahead and do whatever you’d like. but i want you to tell me what you’re thinking about right now.”

you squirm a little on the bed as you start to circle your clit with your fingers. “thinking about you, joshua,” you sigh, finally beginning to feel relief.

“yeah?”

“yeah. you look even better than i thought you would,” you groan, picking up your pace a little as you slip your index finger inside your walls.

he chuckles. “oh, really?”

“mhm. god, i never thought i’d be doing this. especially not with you.”

“and why is that, baby?”

the name makes you shiver. you’d imagined him calling you it many times, but hearing him actually say it is completely different.

“because—” you whimper, losing your train of thought when your brain suddenly pictures his fingers inside you instead of your own. “i’m so close already, please—”

his tone is gentle but firm. “i want you to stop now.”

“but– ah, feels so good, shua,” you say, moans spilling out of you, finally letting him hear everything you’ve been holding back.

you hear him curse in that low voice through the phone, and your hand stills for a split second in shock, your eyes widening. as far as you knew, he never swore. but then again, there were a lot of things he never did that you're discovering about him now. looks like you weren’t the only one who changed over the years.

“that’s not my name.”

you sit up a little in confusion, pushing your phone closer to your ear to make sure you’re hearing him right. “huh?”

“my name is joshua. if you’re gonna moan like a sinner about how good it feels when i tell you how to touch yourself, you better use my name properly.” he sounds almost angry, but it only spurs you on even further.

you let his words sink for a second before responding. “yes, sir.”

“fuck,” he moans, he actually moans, and if you weren’t already so far gone you would’ve stopped to listen closer, to ingrain the noise in your brain so you never again forget how he sounds. “what did i just tell you?”

“what, you don’t like being called ‘sir’? thought you wanted to be a pastor, joshua,” you say with a smirk, and you know he hears the mischief in your voice, daring him to give you what you want.

it’s probably a good thing he’s not physically in the room with you, because there's no way you would have been able to muster up the courage to say something like that to his face. you wouldn’t have dared to even look him in the eyes, but being on the phone gives you a head rush. because with only his voice and not seeing his face, you can convince yourself that he still isn’t real, that this whole phone call and even your meeting earlier had just been an elaborate figment of your horny imagination, your denial being the only thing saving your last shred of dignity.

“didn’t realize you’d grow up to be even more of a brat than you were before,” he scoffs, and your cunt pulses. 

“what are you doing right now?” you say, a little desperately. the change of subject isn’t very subtle but you don’t care. you won’t lie, you’ve been curious since the start of what he’s doing but he’s been so focused on you he hasn’t said anything about himself. you want to know everything about him— how he’s moving his hands, where he puts pressure, what he thinks about to get himself closer and closer.

he grunts unceremoniously. “i’m fucking my hand and pretending it’s you.”

“me too,” you whimper, closing your eyes as you focus on the movement of your fingers.

after a while he stops responding, and you can hear his heavy breaths over the line matching with your own gasps for air as you curl your fingers inside of you. you figure he must be getting close, but you ask him anyway, because you want to hear him say it.

“yeah– fuck, so close,” he chokes out, and the way his voice gets higher as he lets out a whimper is what finally makes you come undone.

with a moan of his name—his full name—you cum, clenching around your fingers as you struggle to keep your hand moving. your wrist is starting to cramp up a little from the position you’ve been in, but the pleasure coursing through you is more than worth it. it’s almost dizzying, more powerful than any orgasm you’ve had before and when you finally remove your fingers from your aching cunt your head is spinning and your heart is pounding.

you can hear a muffled string of curses through the phone and you know he’s right behind you. thoughts of him sitting on his bed run rampant in your head, imagining his stomach covered in milky cum and his pretty, pretty lips parted as he catches his breath.

the silence is heavy as you feel yourself come back down from your high. you struggle to find something to say after… whatever that just was, so you say the only thing that’s on your mind.

“i really did miss you, joshua,” you say quietly. unlike before, there’s not a hint of teasing in the way you say his name now.

and he sighs contentedly, finally hearing his name on your lips like he always wanted to. “i know. i missed you too.”

you both say your goodbyes and good nights quickly, still basking in enough of the remnants of your orgasms to not be too awkward about it. but after you’re settled in bed (for real, this time) and about to fall asleep, you can’t help but wonder if things between you and joshua will ever be anything but awkward.

a memory surfaces: you and joshua running around at the park behind the church after a sunday evening service, no older than kindergarteners, laughing and playing until you collapse on the grass. your mom called for you both to get ready to go home, and no you’re not allowed to have a sleepover because it’s a school night but maybe this weekend if his mom is okay with it. before you ran off, he thrust his pinky out towards you and you shook on it, making a pact to always be best friends, even when you can’t have sleepovers. it didn’t ever occur to either of you that there might come a day where you wouldn’t be best friends.

you don’t remember what prompted him to make the pinky promise, but you know he’s never broken it. and you can only hope that he hasn’t forgotten it.

it’s a few days later at one of your bible study groups when you see him next, and yet again you’re caught off-guard like a deer in headlights.

you’re sitting with a group of other ladies, annotating material for a test you couldn’t care less about when you hear your name called out– a familiar deep voice you can only pray doesn’t belong to who you think it belongs to.

oh, but it does belong to him, alright. it feels like you’ve gotten the wind knocked out of you when you turn around and see joshua standing behind you, a warm smile on his face that makes you doubt anything ever happened. maybe it really was all just a delirious dream, too many years of yearning built up into one intense wet dream.

he puts a hand on your shoulder lightly, turning you away from the rest of the ladies. “hey, can we talk somewhere?”

and oh shit it was definitely not a dream.

your cheeks burn as you excuse yourself from the table, packing up your bible and pens and shoving everything in your bag as quickly as you can. you can almost hear the snickering already, the gossips whispering to each other that you must have done something unspeakable if the top-student, pastor’s son, joshua hong has to speak with you privately. ah, if only they knew.

you only wish you could go back there and wipe the smirks off of all their faces and tell them about what the perfect little gentlemen they all pretend they don’t have crushes on was doing on the phone with you last night. you wouldn’t do that, not in a million years, but just the thought of it is satisfaction enough. 

joshua leads you down the hall to a room that looks like an empty office. he opens the door for you, then closes it softly behind you.

“whose is this?” you ask, glancing around the room. 

“it’s… mine,” he says almost shyly, gesturing idly to a little engraved nameplate on the desk. joshua hong, pastor’s assistant. because of fucking course he would be.

“oh.”

he clears his throat, and in that moment you realize he’s just as nervous as you are. “listen…” he starts, taking a pause. “about the other night–”

“are you gonna kick me out?” you interrupt.

his brows knit together in confusion. “what?”

“are you gonna expel me?”

“no?” he says, still looking at you, baffled. “why would i do that? i don’t even think i have the power to, even if i wanted. which, for the record, i don’t.”

you don’t reply, focusing your gaze on the carpet instead.

he frowns. “is that really how you think of me? that i just go around tattling to my dad? from that… conversation, i thought it was clear i’m not like that anymore.”

the tips of your ears are burning at the memory of all the things you said to each other over the phone. but it never occurred to you that maybe he was just as sinful as you had been.

you stay quiet, the silence stretching on as shame and embarrassment and a hundred other emotions swirl in your mind and you struggle to figure out what to say.

luckily for you he fills the silence himself. he exhales, looking down at a stack of papers on the desk. “god, you… you don’t know how much i missed you. i thought about you all the time.”

“so did i,” you manage to whisper. “in more ways than you know.”

he gives you a teasing smile. “oh, i have a feeling i do know.”

you hold back a cough and look away, focusing your attention on a painting of flowers on the wall. “i don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“if that’s how you wanna play this, fine.”

your curiosity piques, and you look back at him. he motions to the seat in front of the desk, wordlessly asking you to sit. hesitantly you do, and he starts to sit down at the swivel chair behind the desk, but you clear your throat and he glances up.

“can– can you not sit over there?” you ask softly. “feels like i’m being scolded.”

his expression softens a little, and he rolls the chair back into place, opting to sit next to you instead. “of course.”

except maybe you shouldn’t have asked him to do that, because now he’s sitting toe to toe with you and the closeness is overwhelming. at least on the other side of the desk there was enough distance for you to shrink and hide behind, but here, sitting like this, he can see all of you. and you don’t particularly want to be seen right now.

the tension is palpable as he takes his seat, still watching you. you take the moment to study his features: the slope of his nose and the gentle curve of his lips, the way the light catches on his long eyelashes and the way his broad shoulders look in that perfectly tailored sunday morning service suit.

“i always liked you,” he starts, and your gaze shoots up to his eyes. you open your mouth to ask something, but he shakes his head and you immediately fall silent, letting him finish. “i was almost glad when they made us go to different sunday school classes, because i wouldn’t have to sit there and pretend i didn’t have the craziest crush on you.”

“joshua, i–” you trail off, not even knowing what to say.

he pauses, as if debating his next words. “and i know it’s wrong, but i couldn’t get you out of my head when i… y’know.” his cheeks are flushed but he doesn’t look away from you, eyes searching your own for any hesitance or any sign that you don’t want this.

it’s then that you realize that the boldness you had felt hiding behind your phone, he had felt it too. saying words alone in your room at night was easy. sitting in public, in the daylight, and saying those same words to his face was so much scarier. and knowing that you’re both feeling awkward and shy and a little uncertain of how to talk about it gives you the confidence to keep going.

“when you would what?” you pry. you already know the answer but you want to hear it come out of his mouth anyway. you’ve already heard him say it, but something about sitting in his office, in a church, speaking such filth ignites a spark in you that’s completely different from the spark you felt a few nights ago.

he clears his throat and looks you in the eye, maybe gaining a little bit of that confidence, too. “when i would jerk off i would always wish it was your sweet little mouth instead of my own hand.”

you inhale sharply, and that’s when he finally breaks eye contact, his guilt-ridden gaze shifting to the wall behind you as his cheeks burn redder. “i didn’t feel good about it. felt like i was doing it without your permission, and i didn’t want that. i–”

“yes,” you say hurriedly.

he stops short at your interruption, instantly looking back at you. “yes…?”

“yes, you have my permission. whatever you want, joshua, always.”

his eyes narrow, almost imperceptibly, but you recognize it. even after all these years, after so much has changed, you still know his tells. you wonder if he still knows yours.

he murmurs your name in response, almost like a warning. “don’t say stuff like that,” he says, letting out a shaky breath.

“why not?” you ask, feigning innocence. but you know exactly what you’re doing, and you know exactly how you affect him: the same way he affects you.

he looks up at you. “you really are just as much of a brat as you were back then, aren’t you?” he says with just a hint of a smile playing at the corners of his mouth.

“why don’t you find out?”

he groans, leaning back in his chair. “do you know how long i’ve wanted to kiss you?” he says finally.

“probably just as long as i’ve wanted to kiss you,” you counter, and he raises an eyebrow.

you both stand up at the same moment, closing the distance in less than a second. 

you stare at his chest in front of you to avoid his eyes, until he brings up a hand and gently tilts your chin, forcing you to look at him.

“are– you gonna get in trouble?” you breathe, heartbeat pounding in your ears as you stare at his perfect, perfect lips.

he hums, and it sends a shiver down your spine at the close proximity. “are you still giving me permission?” he asks, and you quickly shake your head yes. 

“always.”

he smooths his thumb across your cheek. “then i won’t be in any trouble at all."

and then his hand moves to hold the back of your neck and he's tilting his head and bringing his lips towards yours and then finally, after years of dreaming about it and even more years of denying it, you're finally kissing joshua and there's so many things happening at once that you can't seem to focus on anything because your mind is so full of everything and nothing and joshua and it all just feels so right.

you’re melting in his arms and falling into his touch and enjoying every fucking second of it. your heart speeds up when his hands slide behind your back, wrapping around your body to pull you closer to him, pressed chest to chest.

he pulls away to kiss you again, and again, and again, and you decide you’d be content to be like this forever, standing in his office in the church building making out like you’re the only two people on earth. 

but finally his lips leave yours, and he takes a tiny step backwards, heaving out a shaky breath as he looks you in the eyes. “what are we gonna do now?”

your heart plummets, doubts racing through your mind. did he not like it? does he not like you? did you really just ruin everything? why did he stop? why did he ask that—

but all your questions are answered in an instant when he coughs and you look down, finally noticing the prominent bulge in his dress pants. oh. that.

when you look back up at him his cheeks are flushed bright red, and he immediately begins to apologize.

“shua,” you call out to him, repeating his name the way you know he likes. “joshua. don’t worry about it. it’s fine.”

in fact, you find it incredibly flattering, that just a few kisses and gentle touches could get him this worked up. maybe it really has been you all along.

with a surge of confidence, you step back towards him, wrapping your arms around him and leaning to kiss him. “are you busy today?” you murmur, your cheek brushing against his.

he shudders, hands automatically finding your waist and pushing your hips against his own. “no. are you?”

you sigh, kissing the corner of his mouth. “not anymore.”

“fuck,” he curses, his grip on your body tightening “you really want to…?” he asks, almost shyly, as if he’s in denial this is really happening.

“absolutely,” you say, and you’ve never meant anything more in your life.

in a second he’s got you shoved against his desk, sending papers flying to the floor as he lifts you by your ass to sit you down on top of it. your kisses turn rougher and needier, your hands grabbing at anything you can reach to ground yourself: his hair, his shoulders, his back.

finally he breaks free, dropping to his knees in front of the desk. “please, let me eat you out.”

you moan out loud, probably too loudly for the thin walls of the office. but the visual of him on his knees to do anything other than pray drives you mad, and you need more of him, desperately. “joshua, please.”

he pushes your skirt up your thighs, moving it out of his way so he can stare eye to eye with your pussy. you whimper and instinctively try to hide your face in embarrassment, but something tells you he wouldn’t like that, so you resist, keeping your hands firmly planted on the edge of the desk.

“fuck, you’re soaking,” he says, his voice broken. “you’re so perfect.”

his hands reach up to tug at the hem of your underwear, and he looks up at you, silently asking for permission to continue. you nod eagerly, lifting your hips off the desk so he can slide them off of you, revealing your glistening entrance.

he whines at the sight, pretty lips parted in shock? awe? as if he can’t wait to taste you. he pushes his face into your pussy, gently at first, but when you moan and bring your hand up to his hair he dives deeper.

the moment he attaches his mouth to your clit, you jump, gasping as you try to shut your legs around his head but his large hands keep you held open. his tongue explores every inch of you, moving back and forth, up and down, mapping out your cunt with his mouth. 

“fuck, never dreamed you’d taste so good,” he sighs against your pussy, leaning away to take a breath after what feels like forever.

your legs are shaking and your cunt is throbbing as you also try to catch your breath. you’re not used to being touched like this and you’re definitely not used to being touched by joshua. so many thoughts running through your head and not a single one of them coherent enough to put into words. all you can do is weakly whine out joshua’s name and tug on his hair, pleading for him to keep going. you need release, and you don’t want it from anyone but him.

he stands up, his pants wrinkled from kneeling on the floor but still tented with a bulge so uncomfortably large you feel dizzy just thinking about it. you don’t even know if he’s going to fuck you or even if he wants to, but god you want to see his cock so bad. too many restless nights spent thinking about it, and now you might finally have the chance to see it in front of your face.

your mouth waters at the thought, and you start to slide off the desk, but joshua stops you. “what are you…?”

you look up at him, eyes blown wide with lust and you don’t even attempt to hide your eagerness. “please let me suck your dick. joshua, please.”

he whines, running a hand through his hair. “god, i want that so bad, but… i don’t think i can last if you do, and i was really hoping to fuck you.”

you close your eyes and roll your head back, moaning at his vulgar confession. but he sighs, and he sounds almost defeated, and you look back at him quickly, afraid he’s suddenly changed his mind.

“i’m not—prepared,” he admits, and you tilt your head in confusion before it sinks in what he means.

“ah. don’t suppose you would have any condoms lying around, would you, mr. pastor’s assistant?” you ask playfully, and he shoots you a glare.

“brat,” he mutters under his breath, but you hear it, and your walls clench in response. “no, i don’t have any. not interested in anybody else, so… no reason to.” he looks like he has more to say, more serious things to say, but he keeps his mouth shut, his eyes searching your face nervously.

your stomach flips at his words, feeling your cheeks heating up. you hadn’t thought you would ever get this far, and especially not with him. because of the kind of school you were at, it wasn’t like the people here were doing the kind of things you’ve been doing—at least not publicly. even if you’d wanted to hook up with somebody (which you didn’t), everyone in your vicinity would shame you for even bringing it up. you may have experience with yourself, but anything with anyone else is completely new territory for you.

you fall silent, not sure how to continue the conversation as all your newfound confidence begins to crumble. what were you thinking? caught up in the heat of the moment, saying things you weren’t sure you meant. you were in love with him: that much you were sure of. but everything that comes after that is too new, too scary, at least for right now. you can barely even comprehend that he just went down on you, but you know you enjoyed it and honestly, you’d give anything for him to do it again. but there’s too much going on inside your head for you to even begin to process that right now.

he calls your name and you blink, looking back at him anxiously. “we… don’t have to. right now, or even at all,” he says gently. the tips of his ears are burning red but his voice is calm and steady.

“joshua, i want to,” you start, clasping your hands tightly together in your lap to give you something to focus on other than the way he’s watching you so intently. “but i– don’t know how.”

“neither do i, baby,” he says. the nickname makes you shiver; even though it’s not the first time he’s called you that, especially after the other night, you’re still not used to it. but somehow it’s comforting, and it makes you relax knowing that he’s still the same person you grew up with, the same person that knows almost everything about you. you’ve both changed so much, but deep down you haven’t changed at all.

he pauses when you don’t say anything back. “we’ll wait, then,” he says and wraps his arms around you, lightly at first but then squeezing when you don’t try to pull away. “we have all the time in the world. no need to rush.”

“we… do?” your voice is laced with uncertainty.

he smiles. “of course. i let you go once already, i’m not letting it happen again. never again.”

you turn your head away from him and hide your face, flustered by how sincere he sounds. he hums, and you can hear the pout in his tone so you fight your embarrassment and turn back towards him to ask the question that’s been weighing on your mind since you first saw him days ago. “this is gonna sound so stupid, but… shua, what are we?”

first you were childhood friends, you were best friends, and then you were nothing. right place, wrong time? and then you were… doing something on the phone together, whatever you could call that. and now you were just sitting on top of his desk, sweating from having almost had sex. how do you even begin to put a label on this?

“well, i’d like to be yours,” he says shyly, and just like that all your questions are answered with six small words. you realize it doesn’t matter what label you have; as long as you have him, that’s all that matters.

“yes,” you breathe, lifting your eyes to finally meet his and you see all the love in his eyes threatening to spill over.

he reaches up to brush a piece of your hair out of your face. “i’m just glad i finally have you back,” he says with a soft smile as he watches you. “we’ll go slow, we’ll wait— whatever you want. whatever it takes not to lose you again.”

you bury your face in his chest with a whine. you’re hiding again, but even the uncomfortable scratchiness of his dress shirt can’t pull you away from him.

“besides, i don’t want our first time together to be in my stupid little office,” he chuckles and holds you tighter against him, pressing a kiss to the top of your head that makes your heart flutter. “you deserve better than that.”

you stay there for a long moment, hugging him like it's the last time you'll ever see him. but this time you know it won't be the last. it's the first, the first of hopefully many, many more.

when you feel like you've been standing there too long, you clear your throat and lean your head back to look at him. "so, um… now what?"

he pauses, those pretty lips turned up in a smile. "do you have plans for lunch?"

"no, i just had that study group you pulled me from. i'm free for the rest of the day."

his smile widens. "perfect. you still like grilled cheese, or did you grow out of that, too?"

you laugh, putting your chin on his shoulder as you hug him. "i haven't changed that much, shua."

after taking a while to collect yourselves (waiting for his erection to go back down so you can leave together without looking suspicious), you walk out of joshua’s office the happiest you've felt in years.

he'd wanted to hold your hand, too, but you were still anxious about anyone seeing you together that you'd refused him until you made it to his car. you were probably just being paranoid and no one would care about two responsible adults talking to each other, but all the time you'd spent hiding from your peers had put you on edge.

so, it wasn't until you were safely out of the church parking lot and in the driveway of his apartment complex that you let him touch you, kissing you over the cupholders with his hands gently holding your neck.

it took everything in you not to climb over the center console and sit on his lap in the driver's seat and kiss him as hard and as deeply as you really wanted, but you knew once you started you wouldn't be able to stop. and besides, he still didn't have any condoms. it didn't bother you either way, since you'd been taking birth control since high school to help with your periods, but if it was what he wanted you'd be more than fine with it.

you don't know what you'd been expecting the inside his apartment to look like; probably some tacky cross-stitch bible verses or a wooden cross hanging on the wall, but his apartment just looked like… a normal apartment. a very clean apartment, actually, though you weren't surprised. he'd always been a neat, organized kid, and it looked like that was one thing he hadn't grow out of.

you watch as he puts his keys on a hook by the door, following him into the kitchen and sitting at one of the chairs.

he grins at you as he opens his refrigerator, pulling out the ingredients for your lunch before taking out a pan.

"shua…" you interrupt him, standing up and walking towards him slowly. "you're not— really thinking about grilled cheese sandwiches right now, are you?"

he hums, eyes following your every movement as the pan sits cold and abandoned on the stove. "there are… other things on my mind, yeah."

"so why are you still trying to make grilled cheese sandwiches?"

by now you're close enough to stand toe to toe with him, and you're sure he can feel the heat radiating off your body when he wraps his hands around your waist, backing you against the kitchen counter. "because i wanna make you lunch. maybe i just wanna spoil my girl a little bit."

a shiver runs down your spine at the new name he calls you. never in a million years did you think this is where you'd end up.

"i think you have all the time in the world to spoil me later, joshua," you mumble, leaning in closer and closer until your lips touch.

in a flash he's hoisting you up and sitting you on the counter. his mouth never leaves yours as you slide your legs around his hips to drag him closer, kisses growing deeper and more desperate now that you can finally be alone together.

his hands slide down your body, tugging at the hem of your shirt and only breaking apart for a second to slide it over your head before his lips are crashing against yours again. 

your hands find his hips, experimentally tugging on his belt to see his reaction. immediately he pulls away from you, 

cheeks flushed and breathing heavily. "sweetheart, i still don't have any condoms. if you really want to now, then we gotta run to the store first."

“i’m on the pill,” you burst out, hoping he gets the message. maybe he has some other reason for wanting to, but you're too impatient to wait for who knows how long it'll take to go to the store, and you don't think you'll be able to keep your hands off him for that long. you don't think you'll be able to keep your hands off of him for even a few seconds.

his face goes blank as he processes your words, struggling to understand if you’re saying what he thinks you’re saying. “you’d let me…?”

you grab onto his arms, a desperate attempt to pull him closer, to feel more of him. “raw, yes, joshua. just—please, i need you,” you beg him, cunt throbbing with neglect as you wait for him to answer. 

he buries his face in your shoulder with a groan, gripping his hands underneath your thighs and sliding you off the counter.

with a shriek you wrap your legs around his waist and your arms around his neck, holding on tightly as he starts to walk out of the kitchen carrying you. "joshua! what the hell are you doing?"

his face is still pressed against your shoulder, and you can feel his lips tickling your bare skin as he speaks. "i'll fuck you on my kitchen counter any day of the week, baby, but i want to have you for the first time in my bed, please?"

his voice is low and whiny, just as desperate for you as you are for him and it makes you moan with excitement. 

he finds his way into his room, stumbling a little when he accidentally runs you into the wall instead of through the doorway, but you just giggle and kiss him harder until he finally drops you on his bed, immediately unbuttoning his shirt.

you run your hands along his chest as he leans over you, feeling the toned muscle that feels almost wrong to be seeing. his physical changes are much more obvious to you now that he's like this, and you know the image will fuel your fantasies for weeks.

your hands move to his belt again and this time he allows it, letting you unbuckle it and toss it away before slowly lowering the zipper. he's already hard again, and your heart races when you put a little bit of pressure on the seam and he lets out a guttural groan in response.

his arms flex as he reaches down to slide your skirt off, and you help him and kick the fabric away, leaving both of you in nothing but your underwear.

joshua pauses, letting his gaze wander your body as you look away shyly. he hums and you look back at him in confusion. "don't hide from me, sweetheart, please," he says, but it comes out more like a whine; not like he's asking, but like he's begging. it's honestly the hottest thing you've ever heard, and even with your nerves he makes it hard to resist.

"dreamt about this for fucking years. years," he moans as he leans over to kiss your chest, reaching behind your body to undo your bra and let it fall away. you whimper when he brings his hands up to cup your breasts, wrapping his mouth around one of your nipples as he starts to slowly grind against your clothed pussy. you can already feel yourself soaking through your panties, and you're sure he can feel it, too.

his hands are like nothing you've ever felt, and you roll your head back against his pillows, arching into him as he massages your breasts with his large hands. you'd noticed them before, but you hadn't realized just how big they were until they were on top of you and made your body seem almost tiny beneath his massive palms.

"shua…" you breathe, tentative hands reaching up to touch his shoulders.

he looks up at you, mouth covered in spit. "yes, angel?"

you whimper at the nickname. no angel you'd ever learned about in sunday school had acted like you are right now, begging a man to fuck you. and on top of that it was before marriage, too; surely if there was a god they would be extremely disappointed in you. but right now you didn't care if the entire universe was disappointed in you, as long as joshua hong wasn't.

it takes you a few more seconds to build up your courage, but finally you open your mouth and tell him, "joshua, please— fuck me."

he slides forward to kiss you again, before sitting back and repositioning himself between your legs. "anything you want, sweetheart."

he lines his cock up at your entrance, and just before you think he's about to push into you, he looks up at you instead. 

"i love you, so much," he says, and you have to fight the urge to hide your face as you grin and giggle like a fucking schoolgirl; like the past version of you would have, if she'd had any sense and figured everything out sooner.

and, like always, he asks, "ready?", and you nod, and it's better than you could've ever imagined.

the whines that leave his mouth drive you close to the edge already as he begins to thrust into you, slowly, gently, just a little bit at a time but it still leaves you gasping from his size.

he keeps moving at a snail's pace until you reach up, fumbling to grab at his bicep as tears nearly spill out of your eyes and beg him, "joshua, more, please."

he leans over you, pressing his body flat against yours as he starts to rock his hips faster, and you cry out from so much pleasure and so much emotion hitting all at once.

"wanted you so fucking bad, for so long, and now you're finally here," he whispers, his thrusts never faltering despite how close in proximity he is to your face.

you whine as your hands claw at his back, digging in as you struggle to hold on and he curses again, pushing into you harder.

"you said i was better than you imagined," he groans, one hand coming up to caress your cheek. "but you're even better than i imagined. you're a fucking angel, so fucking beautiful."

you gasp his name, falling into your orgasm from his words alone as you clench impossibly tight around him. you always thought of him as the nice kid, the rule follower, but here he is, fucking you through the hardest orgasm of your life and saying such filthy things in between praises and compliments.

"jo-oshua, please!" is all you can manage, still struggling to recover before he crests into his own high with a whimper. his eyes scrunch up as he releases inside you, eyelashes fluttering and sweat dripping down his temples, and you think it's the most beautiful sight you've ever seen. 

a constant stream of curses fall from his lips and you swallow them with yours, kissing him as if you're afraid he might disappear into thin air if you don't hold onto him tight enough.

his breaths are shallow when his mouth falls away from you, resting his forehead on your shoulder with a long exhale.

"god…" he starts, then stops and laughs, and you have to tug on his hair to make him face you again.

"what are you laughing at?" you say, cheeks growing hot when he looks at you with droopy, hooded eyes and a lopsided smile.

"nothing," he laughs. "just god. what a funny word."

"and why is that, baby?" you say as you try to hold back a smile, testing out the nickname.

he grins. "because it gave me you. or maybe it didn't. who knows?"

you finally laugh along with him, remembering what he'd said to you on the phone that feels like years ago. "don’t you know it’s a sin to take the lord’s name in vain, sweetheart?”

the church is humming with activity as you make your way to the front pew, carrying two donuts in your hand. people greet you as they mingle about the hall, talking and laughing. some wave excitedly when they see you, others simply smile and offer their hand for you to shake with a friendly “good morning and god bless!”

being a pastor’s wife isn’t something you ever imagined yourself doing, but then again, a lot of things in your life you never imagined doing. you never imagined seeing joshua again, and you never imagined marrying him, either. you certainly didn’t imagine taking over your father-in-law’s church when he retired and decided it was time for joshua to take his place as head of the church. you always knew he would someday, whether he wanted to or not, but you’d be happy to spend the rest of your life by his side no matter where he was or what job he had.

you’d been almost nervous when you decided it was finally time to tell your parents you had been seeing each other, but to your surprise they had been overjoyed at the news. both his family and yours were “just so glad when it happened to be you!”, saying things like “we’d always known it would happen, back since you were children!”, and “so when are we going to get some beautiful little grandchildren to take to sunday school!”

it had been five long and happy years since that very first phone call, and every minute you spend with joshua has been the best of your life.

you walk up the steps to the stage where your husband is waiting, flipping through his notes for the morning’s sermon. you hand him his donut with a grin, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek. he smirks at you, imperceptible to everyone else but you can tell what it truly means.

everybody in the congregation always talks you’re the perfect example of a happy, god-loving couple. such nice looking people, so well put together. but behind closed doors, they’d be horrified by the things you say and do together. wolf in sheep’s clothing, as is your husband’s favorite parable to preach.

it’s not the life you imagined, but it’s perfect to you and him.

i hope you enjoyed this!! if you did, consider reblogging with tags or leaving a comment or an ask :) it shows me this is something people want to see more of, and knowing people like this makes me want to write more of it! thanks for reading!!

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[brittle-doughie]

ive said this like twice before but ill say it again ... THANK YOU ,,, im glad you think he's cool 🥺 have a little happi benign butter cookie as a thanks 🫶

also i think i might have a problem . i recently got diagnosed with SMCD (Shadow Milk Cookie Disorder) and apprently it makes you think about him . 😢 he got me cooking up a whole sketch (i might refine it but im not sure if i have the time and patience to ^_^;;;;;;;;;;)

silly evil jester has got me HEHEHEHHEHEHE and all, unfortunately 😞

Your art, even as a sketch is looking pretty nice too! Keep up the good work with your skills! I’m still flabbergasted whenever someone draws my writings, wowie.

“A tough decision indeed! And only one chance to use the Guardian’s power right. What will it be? Let’s wait and see!”

You yelled at him to let them all go! Shadow Milk’s business was with you, not them!

“What’s the matter, my dear Butter~? Do you hold these cookies dear? Are they speeeecial~?”

You told him to not call you that…Y/N Cookie was your nam-

“WRONG! That’s the name these PESTS gave you! All that time with them…it makes me want to free their heads off their shoulders already!”

“Don’t!”

“As for you! What makes YOU believe that what you have with my beloved Butter is even comparable to what I have for them! What my comrades have for them!”

“For as long as I can remember, I have been the one to make them smile and laugh! Not you….ME! We were practicing stuck together like GLUE!”

“Then those CURSED WITCHES decided to lock me and the others away, by BRAINWASHING my Benign Butter Cookie into doing their bidding!”

“I had to watch as that LIAR Pure Vanilla Cookie become the best of pals with them, getting chummy and close. It made me want to escape that tree faster and destroy him! But my rage wouldn’t be comparable to another comrade of mine…she was just DYING to get out.”

“But now that I’m here, I can FINALLY reunite with them. They won’t need YOU or those other half cookies anymore…they’ll only need us…”

You stepped up…you told him that he’s lost it, he’s insane if he thinks you’ll ever go back to him or the others….

“Fine, I’ll confess…I may be a little obsessed and insane, but it’s all for you, my Butter wutter~ Don’t worry about your friend, she’ll be making her exit now~”

If he thought he’ll get away with this, then think again!

“Y/N Cookie….”

“I’ll be right there with you…”

“HANDS OFF MY BENIGN BUTTER COOKIE, PEST!”

[asuyaka]

Guess who's back for that monthly movie list requesting? That's right, your favorite Satosugu sucker!💃💃

All jokes aside tho, I am in some *desperate* need of quality Yuji content that doesn't involve my boy getting yeet'en around like a ragdoll in Shibuya😔

So here is my prompt for today!

Yuji has a rich boyfie(reader) who is like- deadass the hottest thing to exist ever since Apollo, and they just love to spoil Yuji rotten in shape and form possible, being basically that dreamy kind of lover that gives their partners royalty treatment lol

Like, Reader is very gentle and soft with Yuji and isn't afraid of expressing their love and devotion to him, buying him expensive gifts, taking him to all sorts of dates and indulging in whatever couple activities Yuji proposes, cuddling with him on the couch, giving him those affectionate kisses(cheeks, forehead, the tip of the nose, back of the hand, whatever's in the menu) and just overall the definition of perfect lover you'd see in the books: fashionable, romantic, chivalrous, flirty, teasing and fun to have around. Also for the sake of simplicity, let's just say that Reader is a sorcerer as well.

I am a shameless simp if it wasn't obvious already, also if it isn't much of a bother- could you maybe write a bonus scene where Yuji shows up to Jujutsu Tech with some jewelry(could be a necklace, a pair of wristbands or one of those simple golden earrings) that Reader bought him the day before and Nobara, being Nobara, immediately notices the clearly expensive accessory and confronts Yuji about it, only for the boy to bluntly say something like "oh, my boyfriend gave it to me", cue to Nobara and Megumi swarming Yuji with questions cus they had no idea Yuji could bag someone, let alone someone who had enough money to buy something that you'd only see someone like Gojo wearing so casually.

Sincerely, '🌈' Anon.

★ - wowie you guys really like the rich reader troupe huh,,,

☆ - Yuuji Itadori x Rich! Male Reader!

You spritzed a bottle of Eros Versace on your wrists, rubbing the scent on your neck and behind your ear. Slipping on a pair of sneakers and making your way to the park where you and your boyfriend, Itadori Yuuji, decided to meet up.

You were taking him out on a date to celebrate your one-year anniversary, a date Yuuji excitedly texted you about at twelve in the morning.

"[Name]!" Itadori exclaimed, crushing you in a tight hug as soon as he spotted you walking into the park. You smiled as your boyfriend lifted you off the ground and spun you around, putting you back on the floor with a smile that rivaled the sun. "Happy anniversary—wow, you smell good! Is that a new cologne?"

You kissed his hand. "Happy anniversary, prince. It is a new cologne, I ordered it yesterday just for the occasion."

Yuuji blushed at the pet name, averting his eyes when you intertwined his hand in yours. "So, um, where are we going? Telling me to dress 'casual' doesn't explain anything."

Itadori was wearing a black jacket over a white zip-up hoodie with a black cross in the middle, paired with black jeans and a pair of red Converse.

"I'm not spoiling the rest of the date, but I will tell you that we're going to a mall."

Yuuji perked up. "A mall? Sweet!" He squeezed your hand as the two of you walked to a nearby mall, humming occasionally as your boyfriend ranted about everything that happened the past week.

The trip to the mall was an excuse to spoil Yuuji. Anything he wanted, he got. If he looked at an item for too long, you bought it. If he expressed any kind of positive emotion towards something, it was his. Hell, if he asked, you'd try buying the entire mall just for him because it was what your prince deserved.

Hoodies, zip-ups, shirts, pants, rings, necklaces, matching plushies, cologne—something similar to yours but not exactly so he smelt like you— and hats. Whatever your boy wanted he got.

After spending at least ten thousand yen at the mall, you went to a small burger chain Yuuji loved for a lunch break. Seeing him happy as he ate... three burgers brought a smile to your face, especially when he was concerned at your minimal order of french fries and ice cream.

Discreetly, you bought a bouquet of lithiasis flowers, tulips, and white roses; surprising him when he walked out of the burger place.

"Oh my God," Yuuji flushed, taking the flowers and pressing a kiss on your lips. "You're so sweet, babe, I love you so much."

"Lithiasis flowers mean an everlasting bond, tulips mean deep love, and roses just mean love." You kissed Yuuji's cheek, a smile on your face as the tips of his ears tinted red. "I love you too, Dear. Happy anniversary, and much more to come."

Yuuji sniffled. "[Name], I'm going to start crying if you keep this up— I promise you."

You giggled and kissed his cheek again. "As long as they're tears of happiness, prince, I think we'll be okay."

That made Yuuji audibly keen, wrapping his hands around your waist and putting his head in the crook of your neck. "You're so perfect... what did I do to deserve you?"

You patted your boyfriend's hair as you kissed the crown of his head. "You did nothing but exist, prince. I'll always love you, no matter what happens. You'll always be the love of my life."

You meant it too. You couldn't love anyone else like you loved Yuuji, and Yuuji couldn't love anyone else like he loved you. You were two peas in a pod, always together, no matter the circumstances.

"Where the fuck did you get that?" Nobara pointed at the Kirby sweater her friend was wearing. The Kirby sweater that she knew was over nine-thousand yen the last time she checked (which was two days ago).

"Huh?" Yuuji looked down at his hoodie before smiling. "Oh, my boyfriend got it for me!"

Megumi looked at the pink-haired boy from over the couch. "Boyfriend?" He and Nobara said in unison.

"...yeah? My boyfriend got it for me for our anniversary! It's super comfy, probably my favorite hoodie other than my yellow one!"

"Yuuji," Nobara started, "It's not April first, and you're a shit liar. C'mon, tell me where you got the hoodie from because I know you don't have nine thousand yen as pocket money."

"Dude I'm being so serious! You believe me, right Fushiguro?"

Megumi shrugged. "Not really."

Itadori gasped. "I told you guys like three days ago I was going on a date!"

"Yeah, with yourself." Nobara rolled her eyes. "Now stop lying and tell me where you got it from! Did Gojo-sensei buy it for you? I knew he had favorites but I always thought it was Megumi 'cause, you know, he's his dad and everything."

"Gojo-sensei isn't my dad." Megumi interrupted.

"Yeah, and I'm Jennifer fucking Lawrence."

"Don't disrespect Jennifer like that!"

Nobara groaned. "Yuuji, I swear on everything I love if you don't tell me where you got that and all the other expensive shit in your closet I'm hammering your hand to a wall."

"I told you already, my boyfriend got it for me!" Yuuji exclaimed, pulling out his phone to show them a picture he had taken on his anniversary.

Megumi stared with a blank expression. "It's photoshop."

"It's not fucking— do you want me to call him right now?"

"Sure, call this so-called 'boyfriend' of yours. We all know your charisma is horrible, Yuuji."

Itadori pouted as he clicked on your contact. "My charisma isn't horrible," he muttered, putting the phone on speaker as the call rang.

You picked up on the first ring. "Prince? I just woke up, apologies if my voice sounds weird, but did you need me for something?"

"Yeah, remember when we had our anniversary three days ago?"

"...yes?"

"Just checking, you bought me that Kirby hoodie from Hot Topic right? With all the other stuff I put in my closet?"

"I did, is the hoodie not to your liking anymore? I can go buy a new one if you want."

Yuuji stared at his friends surprised expressions, a smug grin forming on his face. "No, I just wanted to make sure. Sorry for bothering you, go back to sleep!"

His boyfriend laughed on the other end. "Alright, love. I'll call you when I wake up, good night."

Yuuji kissed into the mic. "Sweet dreams, I love you!"

"I love you too, Dear." He ended the call and placed his phone back on the table. "I fucking told you so."

"Where the hell did you find a guy that has Gojo-sensei money?!" Kugisaki yelled, pointing an accusing finger in Yuuji's face.

"Where did you find a guy who can sit through you talk about the Human Eathworm?"

Yuuji crossed his arms. "You guys are acting like I'm ugly or something!"

A silence stretched and his friends looked the other way. "Well... you aren't exactly good looking that's for sure."

"Shut the fuck up, Kugisaki!"

"You wanna go? Don't think just because you have a ten-thousand yen worth hoodie on I won't beat the shit out of you!"

"I thought it was nine-thousand?" Megumi asked.

"Shut up Fushiguro!"

[glassrowboat]

Princess. Boothill.

Summary: The summer is always the best time to sit back and enjoy the sounds of nature on a horse back ride, especially when it's with you by his side.

Word Count: 1,800+

The trot of horses on an old path was a welcome one as the trees covered the sky above, blocking out the beaming sun in a canopy of the most vibrant greens. Birds singing in tune with a stream nearby, one you know well from your many times running to it as the heat got the best of you just to kick at the waters for the chance of being splashed with a refreshing cool.

Fortunately enough, today wasn't unbearable. Hot, still, but that's nothing new.

“What's with ya and always takin’ it slow, princess?” A voice called out to you, trying to distract you from the task at hand. That being: getting used to riding a horse in the first place.

Your teacher for…well..the mare you were currently on top of.

“Cmon girl, I swear I taught you how to gallop by now. Less ya scared?” A snort came from him, unlike the ones the horses huff out after being ordered to go into a different direction than the one they wanted.

Stubborn creatures they were, but your teacher had assured you the one you were riding on, Crafty, was the least stubborn of the bunch. A ‘tamed lass’ or something along those lines. At least that's what he claims, but you've personally experienced being bucked off before.

It was unpleasant, to say the least. The moment you hit the rough patch of dirt, grass tickling your skin, you were unable to breathe despite your attempts to gasp for air. Quite literally knocked out of you as you choked on the spot. Your body refused to fill your lungs.

Now, you had never been much of a smoker but in that moment you would have gladly taken a puff from a spit covered end if it meant getting what you longed for.

It was only when you were breathing again that you noticed a certain someone (a complete prick) was standing above you holding Crafty's reins in hand and laughing.

“Well, it was bound to happen ‘ventually.”

Those words made you want to punch him as your teacher leaned down, hand taking your own, and helped you up.

Afterward, you immediately ran off to shower. The need for a break and a good wash far too tempting to resist after getting knocked off your ass.

Since then you had been dubbed-

“Princess?”

That.

You glanced over at him, despite knowing you should keep your eyes forward lest Crafty follows the direction you're gazing at, to catch the sight of his black and white hair thrown up in a messy ponytail. Hat, as always, perched right on top of his head.

“Everytime you call me that, I want to call you Cruella De Vil.”

Your teacher awwed at your words, cooing the harsh tone in your voice. “You wanna give me a nickname now? I didn't know we were at tha’ stage in our relationship yet.”

“We are in nothing close to a relationship.” You snapped.

“Wowy pardner, way to-” You glared at him, waiting for your teacher (Cruella) to dare and even try to finish his sentence when you both knew he was going to attempt to say something along the lines of ‘shit on my parade’- “rain on my parade.”

“Yeah, that's totally what you were going to say.”

“Obviously.” He said, drawing out they ‘ly’ the same way you would when mocking how a country singer says the word whiskey.

You found yourself going “uhuh,” nodding in agreement just to get him off your back. Shame it didn't work as well as you wanted it to as Cruella over there kept jabbering. Stuffing your ears full of words like a tamale.

“Ya know, if it gets any hotter I'm sure we could fry an egg just by puttin’ it on a rock to sizzle up real nice. Would you like that, princess, me cooking you up a meal? Maybe we can have a beer or two to top it-”

Eventually, you found your legs squeezing the horse below you, signaling her to pick up the speed. Your hips meeting the same beat hers did as she ran, just like you were taught.

it's easier that way, apparently. Puts less stress on your body.

Hoofs beating against the well-worn path, but your teacher was far more comfortable going at a faster pace, making him catch up with you easily as he whistled at the horse to slow down. Her legs were already betraying you as they moved back into a slow trot all the way to a stop. Crafty staring back at you like she was expecting you to give her a treat for the treacherous behavior.

Well, she was certainly well trained, at least. Maybe he did have a point in saying Crafty was a tamed lass.

“Tryin' to run from me now?” He asked, laughter in his voice even as your teacher clicked his tongue disapprovingly.

“You were the one complaining about us going too slow earlier.”

“Huh? Can't seem to recall that.” Reaching over, he took the reins from your hands, slipping them as easily from your gasp as any trained pickpocket might. “Mind getting off ol Crafty here so we can talk?”

“I'd rather not.”

“Course not. Real shame you're always so stubborn.” If he wasn't so close, you might have missed the part your teacher whispered about how he should have expected you to be harder to deal with than a newborn foal.

Yeah, fuck you too cowboy.

Running a hand over Crafty's neck, you couldn't help but cringe slightly at the feeling of her fur being so coarse. You'd have to remember to brush them down after cleaning out their hoofs. Something you like to do before and after every ride. After all, they deserve it for carrying you around like this.

“I don't know how you put up with Cruella over here.” You say to her. “Not when I'd never know when he's planning to turn my hide into a hat.”

Your teacher barked out a laugh as he picked his hat off his head, waving it slightly in front of your eyes so you could get a proper view of it. “It's not even made out of horse hide, ya see?”

“Yet.”

“Yet.” He repeated with a raised brow.

“Yeah, I'll give it until Crafty's leg finally gives out.”

The last thing you saw before your vision was covered was your teacher rolling his eyes right before he placed that dusty hat on your head. If you remember correctly, didn't that mean something like you were his girl or….

Ah.

Ah!

With a face as hot as the blazing sun shining down on you two, right in the midst of summer, no less, you shoved the hat back towards him. “That's sweaty and gross! I don't want it!”

Laughter caught on the wind as he took it back, holding it to his chest as your teacher pouted.

“Ya wound me. Here, a simple cowboy is offering you something to block out that blasted sun, and you don't even make use of it?”

“I can manage just fine without it.” You hissed.

“You have also been riding with narrowed eyes this entire time, princess. It kinda gives you away.”

“I said,” taking the reins from his hands you pulled them back into your grasp, careful not to accidentally kick Crafty up by startling her, “I'm fine.”

Turning around on the path you both had been riding down, you were met with the sight of the lush greenery you two had passed and two sets of horseshoe prints littering the ground.

“And I'm heading back.”

“All on your own? Didn't know you could handle that by yourself.”

“Yes, on my own, cowboy.” You said with a firm nod. “I'll fill the hay and everything so there's no need to worry about it.”

Even if it meant getting that blasted stuff in your bra. It always had a way of sneaking in there despite your best efforts and highest collar shirts.

“All covered then, eh?” He asked as Crafty nickered underneath you.

This time you didn't grace him with a response as you made your way down the path, the sound of the bird chirping and Crafty's tail trying to wack any bugs away from her your only company as your teacher watched you go.

“She's so stubborn, ain't she?” He found himself asking. Though the grin on his face was a clear indication that the thick headed nature of yours wasn't exactly minded.

“Guess I gotta try harder to build up a romantic mood to confess next time. I'll get her to listen for sure. I just need a bit of time.”

In return, your teacher was met with the huff of the horse he was sitting on as his hand moved up to block the sun in his eyes.

Back then his hand was flesh and blood.

But now?

His metal hand was blocking out the full moon, bright as it could be as he gazed up at the stars reflected on the aluminum coated surface he was still learning to get used to. The way they moved was nothing like real fingers that would hurt at the slightest papercut.

He would always stick the hurt finger in his mouth and say that would do the trick even as the little miss royal ass would insist he wash off.

Soap and water.

He needed a bath, or at least his hair needed to be washed off. The rest of him maybe needed a shining? Maybe a good wipe and oil capped off?

Boothill dropped his hand, letting it fall to his side as he looked back up at the sky.

If he closed his eyes right now, could he pretend it was sunny as can be? That the leafs above and Boothill’s hat were the only thing keeping his eyes from being blinded, that there was a stream right down the way he could hear just as clearly as the trot of two horses side by side?

Could he, just maybe, hear your voice?

Yet all he heard was his own breathing that was…altered in a way. Affected, just like the rest of him the moment he took on this hunk of a junk body.

It was agonizing to wake up from such a peaceful dream. One he wanted to go back to despite it long since having burnt to ash. Crumpled between warm fingers that had once touched your hand, now gone like the rest of him.

Grabbing his hat, Boothill got up where he was standing, trying his best to once again walk away from your memory. The same way he did as Boothill realized he had to flee that fateful day without erecting some sort of monument for everyone in their honor.

For Nick.

For Graey.

For his little girl.

For his princess.

[kaciidubs]

Open Heart

❣ Summary: When you don't know what to say or do, when life starts living you, you can always rely on Chris to bring you back. ❣  ❣ Word Count: 3.2k ❣ Warnings: Mental breakdown, existential crisis, implied panic attack, angst, fluff, comfort, crying, Supportive BF! Chris, Reader is a mess mentally and emotionally, discussions of family, careers, life, and the future, self doubt, self deprecation, mentioned disassociation ❣  ❣ Female! Reader [No use of Y/N] | You/Your pronouns ❣  ❣ Additional Tags: Chan is referred to as Chris, Channie, Baby, Christopher, and Christopher Bahng [wowie], Reader is referred to as Princess, Baby, Love, Sweet Girl, this is the one that's personal so I'm sorry if you can relate but also you're not alone ❣ Stray Kids Masterlist ❣ General Masterlist

“Yeah, dad, I know... Mhm... No, I haven’t heard back from them yet, but it’s only been a week since I applied so... Yeah, I know…”

You paced the living room of your apartment, holding your phone to your ear as you did your best to tame the headache brewing in your head. 

“I know you do, it’s just - there’s so many things I can do with my degree, I’m just trying to figure out what I want to do... I know... Yeah... Okay... Talk to you later... Love you too, bye.” 

Ending the call, you tossed your phone onto the couch with a heavy sigh - the weight of the world piling on top of stress already weighing on your shoulders. 

Everything sucked - almost as if the world was out to get you for simply existing; years of doing what was right, doing what you were supposed to, only for you to still feel like you weren’t doing enough. 

People pleasing. 

A wave of guilt made your stomach turn, tears stinging behind your eyes as you stood in the silence, yet it still felt so loud. 

You knew your dad meant well, your parents meant well, your family meant well, but every question, every poorly veiled nudge of ‘What’s your next big move going to be? You’ve been stagnant for so long.’ ate at your psyche at every turn. You felt like you did everything; you graduated high school in the high percentage of your class, you went to college, you graduated as a first generation student after five excruciatingly long years - yet through all that they still wanted more from you. 

A pleasure to have known. You have so much potential.

If you had a dime for the amount of times you’ve heard those words, you would’ve been a millionaire by now. 

A shaky breath rattled in your chest as you sighed, your hands rising to cup your rapidly heating face. “Fuck... F-Fuck.”

Your vision blurred, salty tears stinging your eyes before burning fiery trails down your cheeks with no signs of stopping. 

When was it going to be enough? When were you going to be enough? 

Your breath hitched, choking on a sob that your body refused to let go - not now, not right now. You were still young, you had so much potential - so why did it feel like you were being rushed? Why did it feel like everyone saw some invisible clock above you, counting down the days until you’d become useless? 

Wasted potential - those words always used to scare you, the famous buzzwords of any educator wanting to instill proper work ethic in their students; the future of the workforce. 

Wasted potential - that’s what you were beginning to feel at your 9-5; a quaint little job you kept throughout your final semester, something that got the bills paid and kept a little more in your savings. 

Wasted potential - that’s what you felt when your days began blending together, when you realized disassociation was your coping mechanism until your mouse hovered over ‘clock out’. 

You wanted to do so much, so much, but there was never enough time in the day - they were never ideas that would earn you a proper living wage, a career path your family wouldn’t agree with. 

Your body shook as a sob finally tore through your silent cries, your head throbbing as air tried to force its way into your lungs - crying never used to hurt like this.

Your world spun, it felt like time froze while speeding up, but all you could do was cry - stand in your living room and cry like a reprimanded child because you weren’t doing what you were supposed to. 

“Princess?” 

Your eyes snapped open behind your fingers, quickly registering a bigger, warmer pair wrapping around your wrists. 

“Baby, can you hear me?” 

Guilt. 

Chris was home early, and instead of relaxing like he deserved, he now had to tend to you - crying over the same thing you cried over four months ago. 

He felt you tense, he could see the spiral of overthinking, and his grip tightened, “Hey, hey, it’s just me - it’s just me, princess.” 

You sniffled, biting back another sob as you shook your head, “’M s-sorry-” 

“Shh, don’t apologize - you don’t have to apologize, not to me, not for this.” 

Understanding - he was always so good at that, making sure you knew you weren’t the problem of anything; he always joked he got better at it from you. 

Another wave of tears surged through you, nearly making you double over at the rush of fresh emotions popping off in your brain, your jaw tensing as you tried to stifle the illegible babbling falling from your lips. 

“I- It’s- I can’t- And- It’s just so-” 

Chris pulled you into his chest, one arm wrapping around your shoulders while the other cradled the back of your neck, his thumb rubbing circles just behind your ear. “It’s okay, baby, it’s okay - I’m here, you’re okay.” 

He blinked away his own tears, the sounds of your cries breaking his heart when he entered the apartment, and now the feeling of your body shaking against his like a fall leaf utterly tearing him apart inside. 

You weren’t sure how long you both stood there, him whispering words of comfort in your ear while you stained his black hoodie with your tears, but you slowly came out of your breakdown with uneven breaths - your hands holding onto his hoodie as if he was your lifeline. 

He was your lifeline.

“Can we go to the bedroom, princess? Can we manage that?” He cooed softly, a soft smile settling on his lips as he felt you nod. “Okay, we’ll go slow, yeah?” 

True to his word, he slowly led you into the bedroom with shuffling steps, noting how you clung to him like a baby koala, as if you separated from him at any point you’d float away into space. 

Sitting on the bed first, he scooted toward the middle of the mattress and you quickly followed suit; crawling toward him before laying your head on his chest, tangling your legs with his while he pulled you into his side. 

It was quiet, save for the occasional hiccuped breath and sniffle, the sound of his heartbeat slowing the thudding in your own head, the rise and fall of his chest reminding you how to breathe again.

“Love?” 

You hummed softly, your free hand nonchalantly playing with the drawstring of his hoodie. 

“Wanna talk about what happened?” 

Dropping your hand to lay flat on his chest, you took a deep breath to fight back another round of tears threatening to come out. “I... My dad called to check in, see how we were doing and all... He wanted to know if I found a different job yet, one that uses my degree, and I told him I hadn’t.” Swallowing thickly, you squeezed your eyes shut as you continued, “He’s worried that I’m not using my full potential, that I’m not getting paid what I should - and I don’t blame him, really, I went to college for a reason and everything, but it just feels like I'm being rushed into making another decision I’m not ready for." 

“Another decision like picking your major?” Chris chimed in - he’d remembered you telling him about your realization of wanting to switch majors in your junior year, but ultimately choosing not to since you were close to graduating at the time. 

You nodded, “I know he means well, I love my dad, I love my family, but it just feels like they don’t understand that I'm just...tired. I’m so, so tired that the idea of getting a new job - when I’ve only been at this one for just over a year - makes me feel like I can’t breathe. Fuck, the fact that I’ve been at this job for a year makes my skin crawl because this isn't what I want.”

Picking mindlessly at a few cotton pills collected on the fabric of his hoodie, a heavy sigh escaped you, “I feel like all I’ve been doing my whole life is performing for other people, catering to other people, to the point that I don’t even know who I am. I’ve always been told all these great things about myself, but-” A hot tear rolled across the bridge of your nose, “I don’t believe them, at all. Everyone sees all this potential in me and it drives me crazy because I don’t see potential in myself.”

Your name rolled off of his tongue softly, with so much care and gentleness that it made your heart hurt more because he’d been part of the crowd singing your praises and you practically confessed that you didn’t believe him. 

“Princess, my sweet, sweet girl…” 

“C-Chris, I’m-” 

“Please,” he cut you off with a gentle squeeze, “you already know what I’m gonna say if the next words out of that pretty mouth of yours are ‘I’m sorry’.”

Sighing softly, you accepted that fate as his right hand slid down your arm to take your hand in his, another gentle squeeze to remind you that he’s right here. 

“I just... I don’t know what I’m going to do.” 

“Well,” Chris hummed softly, taking in the way your smaller fingers threaded between his own, “what is it you want to do?” 

It was almost as if you stopped breathing, guilt and shame swirling around in your head at his question - the golden question everyone had, but never got the full answer to. 

“...open heart?” 

This time it was Chris’s turn to falter, craning his neck to catch a glimpse of your tear stained face. “Open heart, princess, always.” 

Open heart, something you’d both established years ago in your relationship as a way of asking for full attention - reestablishing that you both were in a safe space with zero judgment, remaining heart to heart with one another. 

“I-” You paused, fighting against the will of your mind wanting to keep yourself protected, from being seen. “I... I don't want to do anything…”

Before he even had the chance to breathe, you jumped into the defensive, “A-And I know that’s stupid- I’m in such a position so early on in my life and there’s so much I can do, but, baby, I’m at a point right now that I can’t see myself working a 9-5 for the next month, let alone another 40-or so years of my life!” Panic quickly began to set in as your thoughts ran a mile a minute, your brain begging you to stop but your heart pleading for you to get rid of this weight. “I can’t be a girl boss, I don’t want to be independent, I-I just wanna be taken care of and loved and supported - I wanna take care of all the things at home and be the one helping you reset after those stressful days. I wanna learn about myself and my hobbies and discover what kind of person I really am underneath all of these learned traits. And I’m sorry, I know, it’s pathetic, it’s shameful, it’s selfish to want to put all of this onto you-” 

The sound of your name falling firm from his lips stopped you in your tracks, your blood running cold as you laid as still as you could be against him. 

“Open heart means we can’t speak for each other, remember that rule?” His tone was softer, light and teasing, quelling the tinge of fear spoiling every word you spoke as you nodded. “Okay, good - now, can I say something, or would you like to continue?” 

“Please say something, Channie.” 

“Alright, first and foremost, don’t ever, ever call anything you want ‘stupid’ - your desires are what make you you, and that includes wanting that 24-inch green matcha squishmallow.” 

He felt your body shake - short laugh, a huff of air, a sign that he was breaking through.

“Second, I don’t think you wanting to be provided for is pathetic or shameful or selfish - it takes a strong person to admit that, and at the end of the day I think that’s what everyone wants in their own special form; somewhere they feel safe, cared for, loved. And, you’re not putting it all on me,” he felt you tense, but his hand held firm to yours, “because I want to be that for you. I want to provide for you, take care of you, handle all the things that are too big and scary for you to figure out on your own. I want to give you the freedom to explore and be yourself, pursue what you want and don’t want to do - and if that makes you ‘selfish’ then, princess, I’m the most selfish person of them all.”

“You-” your voice cracked, throat raw and sore, “You don’t mean that, baby, please-”

“C’mere.” He huffed, pulling you up with him as he sat up before tapping your thigh, signaling for you to sit on his lap - and once you were situated, he cupped your face in his hands, “I would never lie to you, you hear me? Since the day we met I knew I wanted to do everything in my power to care for you, even when we were just friends and you would join the kids in teasing me about how old I was even though you weren’t too far off yourself.” 

Your pouted lips morphed into a sad smile and he had to stop himself from cooing over how cute you looked, even with puffy eyes and an even puffier face.

“Plus, I’ve been taking care of seven other people for the better half of five years, what makes you think I don’t want to do the same for the love of my life?”

Teary eyes searched his for any sign of dishonesty, but all you found was overflowing truth and love, a fresh breath of acceptance cooling your lungs like drinking ice water after eating a mint.

“Open heart?” You murmured softly, taking his hands in your own before pulling them off of your, embarrassingly sore, face.

He nodded, ducking his head to press a fleeting kiss to your knuckles.

“I was always a little jealous of you, you know that?”

“Me?!” 

The shocked squeak in his voice made a giggle, a genuine giggle, bubble up inside of you and you nodded in earnest. 

“Yeah, you. I always felt like I was so far behind everyone around me when it came to having their passions in order, having their lives in order, and when I met you all I could think about was how sure of yourself you were - how you were able to follow through and actually do what you love for a living not only because people around you supported you, but because you believed in yourself.” Dropping your gaze to your entwined hands, you traced your thumbs along his knuckles, “You always knew what you wanted and you worked toward it - I always wished I could be like that, I still do.”

“Baby, you know you can’t-”

“-compare my life to yours, yeah, yeah, I know.”

He didn’t miss the lilt of playfulness highlighting your words, a smile finding its way to his face as he shot you a lighthearted glare, “No mocking! But, really, you shouldn’t - we come from completely different backgrounds, and if anything I’m more jealous of you than you are of me; there’s so many things you’ve done that I haven’t had the chance to experience.”

You let out an incredulous scoff, tilting your head inquisitively, “Like what? Work a draining part time job in the food industry?”

“Yes!” Though he was laughing, you could still hear the serious notes in his voice, “You got to work retail, you went on family vacations whenever you wanted, you fucking graduated college before I did!”

“Okay, first of all, all of my horror stories should deter you from ever wanting to become a retail employee in your near future!” Dropping his hand, you poked him in the chest with a faux glare, “Second, I guess you’ve got me there - between how often I’ve seen my family compared to you, I do win that spot… But that last one you definitely have over me, Mr. Double Major!”

“Oh shut up - you’re a graduate, I’m still in classes; you didn’t have to go from having practice at 8 but an exam due at 8:30, while still needing two demo tracks ready for the first listen at 10!”

The two of you dissolved into a mess of giggles and smiles, whatever tension remained melting away with each melodic sound that escaped you.

“Princess?”

You hummed, a soft smile settling on your lips, “Yeah, Channie?”

“Open heart,” Chris started warmly, deep brown eyes sparkling with a love only you could know, “I want you to know that I meant every word I said - I do want to take care of you, physically, mentally, financially, whatever way you’ll let me. And - not to sound cocky or anything, but I definitely make enough to support the both of us with no issue. Aside from that, I want to build a life with you - so if that life includes you being the hottest stay at home wife then it’s the best life I could’ve ever asked for because you’re in it.”

A wave of heat rushed over you as butterflies erupted in your stomach, “Stay at home wife, hm?” 

Of course, you paid attention to everything else he said, but you didn’t think you’d be able to say anything on it without bursting into tears again.

“Would you prefer stay at home mom? I mean, you’ve already got seven kids calling you it anyways - and I can’t lie, it does have a nice ring to it.” He grinned, releasing your other hand to wind his arms around your waist, scooting your body closer to his.

Rolling your eyes at his less than subtle tease, you snaked your arms around his shoulders, nails playing with the hairs at the nape of his neck, “Let’s just start with stay at home girlfriend and see where we go from there, yeah?”

“So you’ll quit tomorrow?”

“Christopher!” You stood no chance in holding back the burst of laughter that escaped you, narrowly avoiding knocking your head against his as you shook with unabashed giggles, “Tomorrow? You sound like you’ve been waiting for this confession to come!”

“Baby, I was one more angry rant of your supervisor ‘springing last minute work onto you’ away from quitting for you.”

Reeling yourself back in, you leaned forward to capture his lips in a soft kiss, your world finally feeling like the pieces were slowly falling into place - or, at the very least, revealing themselves to you. “I love you, Christopher Bahng, wholly and truthfully, there’s no words in the entire galaxy to express how much you mean to me.”

He held you tight, pressing his forehead against yours with a soft sigh, “I love you more, more than you ever know, more than all the stars in this universe and the next. Whatever you decide, whatever you want, I’ll give it to you - just say the word.”

“Does that include ordering takeout for dinner tonight so we can keep cuddling?”

“Find a menu while I change?”

“Order it while I wash my face?”

“Deal.”

Everything sucked, sure, and there was still much left to figure out - but with Chris by your side, you realized that things could get better with an open mind and an open heart.

[klttn]

nsfw//

vox and housewife reader that he loves to spoil and ravish gently when he gets home :3

he gift y/n flowers then proceed to absolutely destroy her in bed !!! wowie

𝓌𝑒𝒶𝓇 𝓈𝑜𝓂𝑒𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓅𝓇𝑒𝓉𝓉𝓎 𝒻𝑜𝓇 𝓂𝑒

pairing : vox x f!reader

content!! : smut. sir kink bc i can. soft slapping. lots of praise. breeding. smidge of dacryphilia. liiiitle bit of dumbification.

summary : vox sends you flowers and a little gift whilst he’s at work.

wear something pretty for me.

that’s what the handwritten note in your hand said.

vox had been in meeting after meeting all day. in the morning when you woke up, he was gone and you hadn’t heard from him since. you hated it.

it’d been hours of you mindlessly waiting for him to come home, needing just something from him.

that’s when you got the flowers. a bouquet of all your favourites with a little letter planted in the middle.

“for my babygirl,

i’ll be home soon. wear something pretty for me, okay? i can’t wait to ravish you, pretty girl.

love, vox <3”

your thighs instinctively flush themselves tight together where you sat on yours and vox’s silk sheets. you could feel yourself grow needier with excitement, that’s when you noticed the small box that came with the flowers, wrapped in pink ribbon.

the ribbons pulled so beautifully as you took off the lid off to reveal the contents. you blushed, flustered expression quickly taking over, reaching into the box.

there lies a short lace lingerie set, a pair of cotton thigh high socks with adorning bows and a beautiful velvet collar. the collar had a silver heart tag resting in the middle with the engraving, ‘sir’s.’

he knew you so well.

𝜗𝜚

your hands slid over the lace of the sheer dress as you looked at yourself in the mirror. thin ribbon detailing on the hem and a small rose in the centre between your chest.

you smiled, gaze drifting to your tits, soft and excited, peeking out of the fabric of the bust that was barely covering your nipples. then your thighs, they fit so perfect in the pink socks, cute pudge spilling out the tops, accentuating the plush flesh.

just how he liked it.

"honey, i’m home!” vox sang comically, strutting into the room only to pause when he saw you standing there. “oh…” his voice dropped. “my gorgeous girl.”

a pink tint crept up your neck and face as you started to play with your fingers, “hi, voxie.”

“hi, baby,” vox smirked and perched himself on the edge of your bed, spreading his legs and patting his thighs, beckoning you to take a seat, “come here, let me look at you, it’s been far too long without my hands on you.”

giggling to yourself, you walked over to him and straddled his lap, arching yourself into his touch, his hands immediately going to your hips and waist, “missed you, vox.”

“i know, baby, i know,” his hands squeezing now, “god, just look at you, all pretty for me,” vox’s breathing getting heavier the more he touched and took you in, the little outfit he had sent for you being better than he could’ve imagined. he moved one of his hands to now be caressing the side of your face, “my pretty girl, so desperate and waiting for me.”

you felt him growing underneath you, his cock practically begging for your cunt, making you buck your hips into him. “vox, please, i need it.”

vox moved his hand off your face to your throat, slightly squeezing then gripping onto the collar that wrapped around your neck, holding the heart shaped pendant and pulling gently, “what’s my name?”

“vox i-“

“my name, baby.” he interrupted, voice stern.

“sir,“ you begun, instantly being cut off by vox again.

“good girl,” his voice low as three dings erupted from his speakers, something so subtle yet so easy to make you feel just that little bit more dumb in voxs hands. “such a clever girl.” his hands now back on your hips, guiding you.

all that just made you sink further into that subby feeling you had in your gut since vox walked through the door, grinding yourself further into him, letting out small moans. the sight was enthralling, something about vox being fully clothed whilst you looked borderline pornographic made you weak.

“fuck baby, you need me that bad, yeah?” you nodded eagerly, “getting that needy just from me treating you like the ditzy little girl you are,” he starts kissing your neck, causing you to bar your neck for him, “so pliable.”

“sir, please,” you breathed, moans making you sound breathless, “need you, sir, need it.”

“what do you need baby? tell me.”

“i-inside,” you looked away, shy and wanting, “wanna be filled.”

vox’s screen glitches slightly as if something switched in him, “don’t worry, princess, i’ll make sure my cock and cum is the only thing you can feel,” he growls, slipping his cock out his trousers and pressing it up against your cunt.

before he could push in, you started rubbing your pussy up and down against his length, letting it slide in your folds, too eager to be patient, little moans escaping every time the tip brushed your clit through your panties.

but it still wasn’t enough, your movements getting sporadic as you tried to line his cock up to your entrance.

“poor thing,” vox cooed, “so needy. do you need sir to help you with that?”

you whined softly signalling yes and bucked your hips some more.

a smirk grew on vox’s face as he wrapped his arms around you, stilling you and flipping you over so that he was positioned between your spread thighs, towering over you.

he grazed his fingers over the lines of your panties before sliding them off you, your cunt fully on display for him, clit puffy and swollen before him.

“such a pretty pussy.” you keened at the praise, lifting your hips in attempt for some contact, “let me take care of it.”

vox adjusted himself and placed his dripping cock over your clit, tracing circles over the bundle of nerves with his tip before resting at your entrance, spreading your hole and forcing himself in, immediately bottoming out, causing you to let out a high pitched whine.

“biiig stretch.” he mocked, his hands now shifting to free your boobs from their confines in the pretty lace, “so fucking adorable,” he said to himself before moving his mouth to suck on one of your nipples.

you pushed yourself into his mouth, craving more, “m-move.”

“is that how we ask, baby?” he questions, pulling away from your tits, making you let out a frustrated huff, earning yourself a small slap on the thigh, “be good for me and ask nicely.”

“please s-sir, fuck me.”

“what my babygirl wants, she gets.” vox leaned down softly placing a kiss on your forehead, his grip moving to your hips and tightening before pulling out agonisingly slowly.

just the tip was stretching you out now, making you feel so empty before he thrust back in with full vigour, setting up a pace that was brutal. “so fucking tight, baby.”

your head lolled back and so did your eyes, mouth agape letting out such lewd sounds, tongue poking out slightly.

you could feel every inch of his dick inside you, all the veins and the slight curve filling you up just right, it was overwhelming, making you cock drunk and dizzy.

“awh baby,” vox grunted, pace not stopping, “look at how dumb you look like this,” his hands leaving claw marks into the lace and bruising where they held you so harshly. “and all for me.”

all you could do is whine and whimper n nod your head, your hands now latching onto vox’s back, scratching and digging your nails in as you clung to him.

“fuck,” vox’s cock started pulsing, getting off on the harsh lines been scorned into his back, “just like that, good girl.” the praise only made you push yourself further on his cock, so deep you could feel it bulge in your tummy.

vox’s hand waved over your abdomen, relishing in feeling himself through you, watching how you lost your grip on his back and started shaking, getting closer and closer to your orgasm the more he abused your pussy.

“gonna cum baby? gonna cum for me, yeah?” he preened, rubbing his thumb over your clit, lifting your cotton covered thighs over his shoulders, his other hand coming to softly slap your face, keeping you focused on him, not relenting with his cock either. “keep your eyes on me, don’t stop looking at me, you’re not that dumb yet, i wanna see that pretty face as you cum.”

that was enough to have you falling over the edge, body spasming, an ‘o’ shape forming on your mouth, keening and mewling as your orgasm shook through you. “good girlll.” he praised.

your legs slid open and off vox’s shoulders, the thigh highs you were wearing bunching and riding down your legs, so messy yet even more provocative.

your cum was mixing with vox’s pre cum and your slick, causing down right filthy noises to fill the room as his balls smacked against your ass.

your breath was heavy as you came down from your high, tightening your pussy even more around vox, desperate to have his cum, still letting out small yelps whenever his cock would push against your cervix.

chest still heaving up and down and legs quivering, your eyes starting to close and head fall to the side, losing yourself to the pleasure. vox wasn’t going to allow that just yet.

he laced his hand in the top of your hair, yanking harshly, “you’re not done yet babygirl, keep your eyes open.” he commanded.

vox shifted his weight, attacking a new spot, the spot.

you let out a silent scream, eyes darting open, trying to pull away from vox’s grip, the sensation feeling too intense, “you can’t escape me, silly girl,” he teased.

small tears rolled down your cheeks, the pleasure so much for your petite body to handle, “g-gonna cum, please please, don’t stop, feels s’ good.” you cried.

“god you look so pretty when you cry for me like that. come on pretty thing, cum on my cock.” your eyes squeezed shut, orgasm crashing over you for the second time that night, pussy clenching just right around vox, “gonna milk me so good, like you were made to.”

using the last bit of energy you had, you looked up at vox with wide, wanting eyes, still brimmed with unshed tears “…breed me,” you begged cutely, using your arms to push your tits together and making your eyelashes flutter as you looked at him.

“shit, fuck, baby, you’re so fucking filthy.” vox grunted, thrusts becoming irratic, cock twitching and spilling his load deep in your pussy, aggressively pushing against your walls, the ropes of cum filling you up. “putting my cum exactly where it belongs.”

for a few seconds, all that could be heard was the heavy breathing of you both calming down.

once vox had returned to his normal state, he pulled out to take a second to look at your cunt leaking his seed, making you whimper at the loss.

“so cute,” he mused and smiled at his handy work before scooping you up into his lap, hands soothing your back and stroking your hair.

your breathing was still uneven and your body shaky from all the tention your body took, “shh baby, it’s okay, you did so good, so good for me, such a good girl.” he whispered into your ear, rocking you and bouncing you gently in his lap, “it’s okay, my angel, i’ve got you.”

“voxieee,” you whined, sniffling and nuzzling into his neck, “m sleepy vox.”

“that’s okay baby, go to sleep, i’ll clean you up, okay? you’re safe with me.”

you whispered a muffled ‘i love you,’ and that’s the last thing you remember. before giving yourself to sleep. and vox.

A/N : dom vox is my favourite thing in the world, he’s so dreamy <33 n this is my first smut… so i really hope you liked it, please like comment n reblog n let me know your thoughts <33

[hwasdvlly]

Starlight | c.jongho

❀ summary: he gets an answer that changes his life.

❀ pairing: jongho x fem!reader

❀ genres: romance and fluff

❀ word count: 0.9k words

❀ warnings/tags: none. established relationship, idol!jongho, non-idol!reader, very emotional yet so cute

❀ a/n: wowie! it has been sooo long since i last posted. i wanted to do create something that'll make everyone cry lol but still enjoy it

“Hyung, I don’t think I can do this.”

A handsome gentleman in a suit with adorable bear-like features is a nervous wreck. Jongho did his best to clean himself up and tried remembering his speech all night. Hongjoong hears the anxiousness in the maknae’s voice. As a kindhearted captain, he brings Jongho into his arms. “You’ll do great. We are all proud that you found your happiness. Now, you want to make it official. The guys and I are positive that Y/N will say yes.” Hongjoong pats Jongho’s back for reassurance. 

For years, the youngest member of ATEEZ has been in love. He met you during his early idol days. He was walking down the streets of Seoul and discovered a brand-new cafe. Jongho steps in to grab beverages for his members. But his heart began to flutter when his warm brown gaze laid on a beauty dressed in a simple uniform and welcomed him. Jongho shyly greeted you with adorable blushing cheeks and purchased cups of americano. 

You never knew he had a music career. Jongho laughed it off later on when he revealed what he does for a living. To you, it felt unreal to date a celebrity because it can be complicated. Nevertheless, you loved Jongho. Indeed, there were circumstances to overcome, and Jongho tried not to have his reputation go downhill. But as the relationship got more intimate and the love grew stronger, he believed it was time to put a ring on your finger.

Plus, you are ATEEZ’s best friend and little sister. Everyone adores you, and Jongho will talk about you every minute of his life. Atinys can tell he is madly in love, but it’s precious. 

Jongho and his hyungs set out a plan for the proposal in a public area. It’s their concert stage where hundreds of Atinys, Jongho’s family, and your family will attend. Weeks before the day, Jongho gave you and your loved ones free concert tickets, but he purposely did it so you could be with him. And, of course, to have fun. You are his number-one fan, after all.

When it was close to the end of the event, the guys wore casual clothes, and Jongho wasn’t present. San speaks through his handheld microphone. “Where’s our maknae guys?” He questioned as if he had no clue. They all have confused expressions, pretending they don’t know what is happening. Mingi speaks, “He said something about wanting to look presentable.” He reasoned, which had the audience believe him. 

On cue, Jongho exists backstage in his stunning suit, appearing like a classy movie actor. Wooyoung gapes, “Why are you so dressed up?!” He asked in the most dramatic acting. The guys couldn’t resist their laughter because Wooyoung would not take things seriously. Jongho meets up with his hyungs and starts to explain with sincere words. 

“It’s because I am about to do something that’ll might change my life. As you may all know, there is someone who has a special place in my heart. I was hesitant to do this, but I realized Y/N means so much to me that I don’t see anyone else to make me feel alive and know what love is. Yes, I have Atinys, my family, and these people or whatever.” He nonchalantly waves his hands, gesturing to the members. The crowd laughs at their slightly hurt faces. 

Jongho chuckles but continues with his speech. “So, I took the time to think about what I want my future to be like. I also want to ask a significant question.” His eyes roam to the sideline of the stage, where he spots you, your family, and his family together.

He shifts his body to approach you. Jongho lends out his hand to have you go on stage. Your eyes widened at his silent offer. You skittishly move your legs to have your hand link with your boyfriend. Jongho has a sunny smile and makes you walk to the center of the stage. The members stand around the couple. They are smiling so much, and their excitement is skyrocketing. 

The man looks into his lover’s eyes to say, “Y/N, there are millions of reasons why I see you as the brightest starlight in my world. I am curious to know if you’ll answer my question.” He lets go of your hand to go down on one knee and pulls a small box out of his pocket.

With an adrenaline rush, you have your jaw dropped, and the people in the building are uproaring. Jongho sees your glassy eyes. He brings the microphone to his lips. “Will you be my wife, Y/N?” He finally asked. 

In a simple response, you nodded your head earnestly. “Yes!” You said. 

Your boyfriend felt his overwhelmed emotions washed away. He is so relieved that he did it. He gently puts the beautiful ring on your finger—an item dedicating two soulmates to live a forever happy life. A round diamond with a rose gold band. Jongho brings you into his arms as he buries his face into your neck. He tries to hide his tears, but the hyungs can see he is emotional. Not to mention, the guys have water coming out of their eyes. 

Jongho peeks over your shoulder to see the fans cheering. He even notices his family and yours are proud. His mother is crying tears of joy, his little brother is clapping for him, and his father has a merry expression. Jongho lifts his head off your shoulder to have his forehead against yours. He stares into your tearful eyes but you are smiling.

The man softly presses a kiss onto his now wife-to-be’s lips. 

[myslutwritings]

Hi, i was wondering how the uppermoons react to the reader aka the love of their life crying herself to sleep after a huge argument, like they walk into their shared bedroom to find the reader laying on the bed with tear stained cheeks flushed face mouth slightly open, i know i know it's way too angst-y but i love being comforted when i cry and i am a cry baby so... Pretty please🥺

wowie😂 y’all seem to dig the crybaby reader headcanons so here’s some angst my lovelies!!

➤ Uppermoons comforting reader after an argument.

pairing/featuring: crybaby!reader x the three uppermoons! content warning: lots of angst, douma has emotions, OOC!uppermoons, semi-nsfw, smaller reader, size difference, crybaby!reader.

— note: sorry if this comes off as cheesy! this is pure fluff headcanons for those who are sad and find comfort in our three lovely demons! so i wanted to go all out😅 so the uppermoons aren’t going to be THAT in character. [not proof read btw]

KOKUSHIBO <3

Kokushibo (the uppermoon one) and you got into one extremely heated and serious argument that day..

Is argument even the right word at this rate? more like a fight.

Like so bad you guys were screaming at each other the same way toxic parents who weren’t ever in love would fight. 🥲

The fight was so severe to the point where kokushibo just upped and left you alone for hours. He didn’t desire to fight that night and was exhausted from your constant screaming.

However..

Returns later that night to apologize since the fight was his fault only to find you crying in y’all’s shared bedroom..

Gods.. what has he done?!

Okay now he feels even worse. this is going to be troublesome considering he already has a hard time being intimate and expressing his feelings.

After all, koku here is very avoidant. but he’s not trying to be.

You immediately stop crying once you feel his presence. How long has he been standing there?

you want to tell to go away

you want to tell him you hate him (you don’t)

you want to say you love him

you want to say so many things

But nothing comes out.. you just can’t speak properly due to the utter anguish you’re in over the fight..

you’ve always been the biggest crybaby, a sensitive soul.

Kokushibo has always reassured you that he loved that about you. as if you’re the purest and most beautiful flower. an angel sent from the gods themselves.

Finally, you muster up the courage to speak

But right before you blurt out anything Kokushibo gathers you up on his arms and cradles you on his lap.

The gesture makes you eyes water more and you just end up sobbing into his shoulder muttering: “i’m sorry” over and over again.

some phrases you’ll hear from Kokushibo while crying are;

“i’m deeply sorry, my love. my intention was to never make you shed this many tears. That’s the last thing i want to do..”

“Please, no more tears, my dearest petal. I can’t stand witnessing you in such a state of misery. I’m so sorry for leaving you alone.. it’s my fault and i should’ve tried to communicate with you instead of leaving you alone like that.. you’re my one and only and i’ll never do something this foolish ever again.”

Koku isn’t the very best at communication nor is he the talking type but when it comes to you he’ll go out of his way to talk to you all night long until you feel better! <3

The both of you end up cuddling all night.

He plays with your soft hair and keeps an eye on you as you rest.

Even if you fall sleep he still won’t leave. He’s going to hold you in his protective embrace while you sleep me until you wake.

DOUMA <3

Oh my! his poor sweet lotus crying to themselves after an argument? now, this won’t stand..

Now let’s skip the part where he feels emotions for you.

Anyway-

Douma is not really an argumentative kind of guy..

i mean, sure, he’ll joke around with lord-akaza but that’s all for great fun! :D

And lets not forget the numerous times muzan has chastised him or when he had to listen to his long-rants about how worthless he and his superiors are for not being able to seek out the blue spider lily.

So, when you two break out into an argument.. he doesn’t yell back. he kinda disregards your feelings and accuses you of being silly and just teases you for it.

I mean, you are being over-dramatic, right?

Honestly, he’s not used to it when you yell and break down afterwards..

Douma’s never seen you so upset before! :(

Okay, he may know how to ‘comfort’ people but we all know that’s a façade.

Deadass doesn’t know what to do. it’s different because with you he actually cares (more than you know.)

Is torn between giving you space and just forcing you into his embrace and babying you until you stop crying like how he does with his disciples.

Douma is clingy. he’s always been very clingy and touchy. this rainbow-eyed man is glued to you 24/7. 🥹

As predicted, his clingyness gets the better of him and he follows you like a lost puppy once you runaway in tears.

He didn’t mean for this to happen nor to make you so upset.

You’re crying on your futon and he stands there for a good second witnessing you in distress. he’s still feeling hesitant.

He isn’t used to these emotions bubbling up into his gut right now.. and doesn’t like it one bit! he needs it to vanish as fast as possible.

Douma ignores your protests while he gathers you up into his strong arms and lays you across his lap bridal-style.

Kisses your tears away and gives you love bites since he has a habit of doing that. usually it makes you giggle when he does that but this time you only recoil from his touch.

“Aw, don’t pull away from me!”

**cue the pouting**

Douma will legitimately comfort you this time instead of putting on that act he does with his followers.

Some phrases you’ll hear from douma are:

“Hush now, my darling! it’ll be okay! i- i didn’t mean to upset you, honest! i can’t let you go.. i can’t leave you alone when you’re crying like this..”

“Hey, hey! shh.. it’s okay sweetie! i’m here for you! let’s wipe those tears off your pretty face, hm? oh, you’re beautiful no matter what even if you’re crying but i would much rather you smile for me! can you do that for me, dear?~”

“I love you so much, [name]! I promise i didn’t mean to make you upset.. it won’t happen again! please just try to communicate with me more so we won’t fight like this again!Of course i’ll do the same in return.. these emotions i felt today were something i never want to experience gain!”

Much like kokushibo. Douma isn’t the best communicator either.

Sure, the man may be a yapping machine but it takes him a hot minute to realize his wrong-doings and talk it out with you!

By the way he’ll probably tease you after this night so be prepared.

Probably would initiate sex to make you relax since you’re so damn tense but will understand if you decline. 

AKAZA <3

Good lord, he’s the MOST emotional and sympathetic out of everyone.

Akaza tends to yell a lot, he suffers from anger issues and can be passive aggressive so it’s quite easy to get him riled up.

This fight in particular was worse than usual.

Like wayyyy worse.

Akaza actually hates, hates, HATES, HATES, fighting with you.

So he’s on the verge of tears himself and angry with himself for being so weak to argue with you back instead of being the bigger and stronger person in this situation.

More importantly, he made you cry, he’s most disappointed in himself for that.

Akaza isn’t too clingy, on very rare occasions he is though.

Akaza has attachmemt issues but doesn’t show it that often (that’s my headcanon for him)

So bro’s attachment issues are literally SPIRALING in this moment.

Calls out for you when you runaway but you don’t turn back and that’s what he knows he’s fucked up.

Will do ANYTHING to make you forgive him and to stop crying.

Wants to respect you but he knows he’ll go apeshit if he leaves you alone so he takes a hot minute before running after you.

He’ll knock on your door. f you don’t answer he’ll just waltz right in like he owns the place.

Starts yapping as soon as the door swings open.

Poor thing, he’s flipping out. 😭

“Baby!! please don’t cry!! shit.. i’m sorry!”

You look at him

Is he.. tearing up?

You feel guilty for overwhelming him but you’re also still mad at him.. you can’t bring yourself to apply him with the reassurance and comfort he craves in that moment even though you want to..

Akaza will get more needy if you ignore him and crawl into bed with you to spoon you from behind. His hands swiftly snake around your waist and you feel your back flush against his bare chest as he buries his face into the crook of your neck.

He’s mumbling “i’m sorry, pretty girl..” under his shuddering breath.

He is NOT letting you go until morning.

Akaza will pepper feather-like kisses upon your neck from behind and squeeze your waist while whispering comforting words into your ear.

He’s really not letting you go until you forgive him. 😞

Phrases you’ll hear from Akaza after an argument:

“Come here, honey.. i’m really sorry. believe me, i didn’t mean anything i said. i was a damn idiot!”

“Sweetheart, i love you so so much it hurts.. you mean the fucking world to me! i would kill for you, i would even die for you.. you bring out this special part of me in which i feel like myself.. only YOU have the power to do that. i would never leave you or let anything bad happen to you, honest!”

He embraces you and will probably end up turning you around so you can face him.

he appreciates it when you look into his eyes when he’s talking to you about something important.

You making eye-contact with him sends him onto cloud nine 😩

Akaza just wants to see your pretty face! 💗💗

Even if you take your time forgiving Akaza he will understand and never love you any less.