#writer nerves

[blackmagictrait]

the most unrealistic part of izombie - a show where zombies are real and can solve crimes by eating brains - is that the character ravi isn't slamming ass all over the city. like he's supposed to be a medical examiner in seattle which is a $100k+ salary and he's played by rahul kohli and y'all are really trying to convince me this 6'4" doctor isn't knee deep in pussy 24/7?? zombies I can accept but trying to convince me this man with a full head of hair and a british accent has to fight for women's attention absolutely annihilates my suspension of disbelief.

[moonilit]

This is all about Jote now

[deadpanwalking]

The cancellation of the 2024 World Voices festival reminded me that I meant to make a post about this last week, when PEN America announced that it could not hold its annual literary award ceremony because so many authors and translators had withdrawn their submissions.  I don’t doubt that there's another post of this sort making the rounds, but since the ceremony was going to be tomorrow, I wanted to celebrate the literary achievements of every Finalist with a demonstrable backbone.

This is a list of writers who acted with integrity by withdrawing their work from the American subset of PEN International, an organization which has served as a bridge between literature and human rights for over a century.  PEN America has largely built its reputation by supporting persecuted writers, and has let down the entire international literary community by failing to take a meaningful public stance against the ongoing genocide of the Palestinian people. 

The following titles have been withdrawn from consideration at the request of the authors and translators:

PEN/Jean Stein Book Award

To a book-length work of any genre for its originality, merit, and impact, which has broken new ground by reshaping the boundaries of its form and signaling strong potential for lasting influence.

Hangman by Maya Binyam 

Biography of X by Catherine Lacey

Poem Bitten by a Man by Brian Teare

Blackouts by Justin Torres

PEN/Robert W. Bingham Prize for Debut Short Story Collection

To an author whose debut collection of short stories represents distinguished literary achievement and suggests great promise for future work.

The Sorrow of Others by Ada Zhang

PEN/Hemingway Award for Debut Novel

To a debut novel of exceptional literary merit.

Promise by Rachel Eliza Griffiths

Natural Beauty by Ling Ling Huang

PEN/Voelcker Award for Poetry Collection

To a poet whose distinguished collection of poetry represents a notable and accomplished literary presence.

Couplets by Maggie Millner

suddenly we by Evie Shockley

PEN Translation Prize

From From by Monica Youn

For a book-length translation of poetry from any language into English.

Owlish by Dorothy Tse translated from the Chinese by Natascha Bruce

Trash by Sylvia Aguilar-Zéleny translated from the Spanish by J.D. Pluecker

[osaemu]

how i scroll tumblr knowing that i'm too nerv to interact with half my mutuals

[a-chaotically-small-lunta]

You know how you look up to someone and how someone looks up to you? Okay, now make it g/t

Lemme explain via example: Imagine a writer who types all their stories on their computer. Maybe they share them online maybe they are way too nervous to do that, and just keep it a secret hobby. Anyway, one day they leave their desk to do something only to come back and notice that their writing document moved to a different page, and their computer didn’t fall asleep like it usually did. This confuses them but they brush it off, telling themselves that maybe they were faster than normal and maybe accidentally moved the page.

However, it keeps happening. Each day they walk away for a moment or even longer, their computer never falls asleep and is on a completely different page. This starts to freak them out. So, they decide to walk away and then sneak back as quietly as possible. When they peek their head inside, they see a tiny little person at their computer, just staring at the screen. The writer watches as the tiny continues to read their story, and that’s when they realize, they’re reading the writer’s story. They walk in, spooking the tiny. The tiny is in shock, they can’t tell if it’s just fear of being seen or getting the chance to actually talk to the writer whose work they adore, perhaps a mix of both. Maybe the tiny gets overwhelmed and before the writer can ask the classic “What are you” question, the tiny burst into a bunch of questions about the story the writer is writing. The writer taken aback by this, just awkwardly answers them and tries to ask them a question only for the tiny to continue asking questions. Eventually the tiny remembers that “Oh right… I’m not supposed to be seen…” and cautiously asks if the writer is upset with them and whether they will hurt them. The wrier assures them that they are mad and won’t hurt them and are honestly glad that their computer wasn’t hacked or there was a ghost or something. Also, how could the writer ever hurt their biggest…well smallest fan?

Maybe they build a friendship where the tiny helps the writer with ideas and getting over those writing hurdles. Hell, maybe the tiny even was inspired by the writer and tried writing their own story and shares it with the writer. Maybe the writer gains the confidence to share their stories online or even publish their work all because one little person loved their work. Perhaps the tiny, with the help of the writer, shares their own stories while hiding their identity as a tiny from everyone. So many possibilities! Just tiny little fans, forgetting they should probably focus on not being seen and not “What is Character’s favorite thing to do when they are bored?” Like sweetheart probably not the best time, but go for it.

[lottieurl]

here's my problem since some people want to ignore genuine criticism and act like anyone who is criticizing the writing or the pacing is "not accepting things we accepted in s1" by comparing this to doomcoming

doomcoming is. i cannot stress it enough. an episode where the characters are drugged and high on shrooms. when they chase travis and when they nearly kill him we are SHOWN they see a stag

now yes you can compare their doomcoming hallucinations to the hallucinations of it chooses but even the framing isn't really on your side here is it? when the show wants you to doubt to what extent they're really even aware of what they're doing or the level of.. delusion present it has absolutely no problem showing you that! we saw them having an ancient greek feast while ripping apart jackie's body and we saw too many near death hallucinations and other hallucinations to even COUNT on one hand

so they're aware of what they're doing when they draw the cards. while they were shown to NOT BE during doomcoming at least while it happened. and now the question is do you think we have reached that point? if you do i'm happy for you genuinely. i wish i agreed. but i just do not. when they agreed to do this they agreed to not only potentially get themselves killed they also agreed to the death of their loved ones if they draw the card. why was van shown doubting everything she believed in (including lottie that goes without saying) in the previous ep and now willing to get herself or taissa killed for a ritual meant to save lottie? and don't Tell me what you think. i am capable of making up an explanation. i can come up with a bunch of theories. but there is No exploration of that in the actual show. why was taissa fine with this? why was nat? do i think those characters are all such lottie believers they'd go to those lengths? no not really cause all they were really doing before was having dbt group therapy with lottie and then lottie proceeded to fail in all her predictions about the baby

there were absolutely ways to make this more believable (like! maybe show nat and travis get injured while trying to hunt and they start thinking it's because lottie isn't blessing them before they leave anymore. show everyone lost without someone to look up to. put more focus on how hungry they are. maybe use some makeup to make them look more malnourished. show taissa's actual sleepwalking come back - and yes i know there was that one other taissa scene but it wasn't quite enough for me to buy that tai would be all for this. unless they're pulling another Other Tai Did This surprise but it's getting a little old imo) but they rushed through it in a way super jarring. and no it shouldn't be! yes it should still be shocking but we START the show with those murder cannibalism rituals. we watch the show to find out how it happened exactly. every single viewer should be watching this feeling overwhelming dread because it FEELS inevitable that they'll decide to do this. we should be quite horrified but we should also be 100% convinced that's the choice all those characters would make. this scene is what all those 18 episodes led to and regardless of whether someone liked it or not the overwhelming majority seemed to be shocked this happened already. which. quite literally means the build up wasn't there

[defiledtomb]

Ouroboros: The first year in development (+small update!)

On this day, a year from now, I sat in the stark light from my monitors, eyes bloodshot and hands trembling; and I clicked the post button. I then choked my pc to death and ran away screaming, scrambling into the corner of the couch on all fours, hissing at every shadow (only one of those statements is a lie).

It was 4 am and I had been scrambling to get the last details of the demo correct, mumbling to myself and reasoning with my dog. I was so happy to be writing again, after years of piddling around with lackluster projects. I never thought Ouro would be welcomed as it was, and to be honest, the fact that it was scared the living shit out of me. After the hype settled, and I sat watching the continuous stream of support that poured my way, I kind of crumbled. There was a long and dirty road of clawing myself out of self-doubt, impostor syndrome and perfectionism. Some part of me knew it was coming, since its very on par with how I am shaped as a person (sopping wet pathetic meow meow), but after climbing many hills on my ongoing healing journey, I felt like I was prepared for it.

Writing Ouroboros went from fun little sidequest to get my mind off becoming a sturdy part of society again (exhausting), to another workload, to form of therapy, then torture and back again. My writing journal is amusing to scroll through:

Things went from bad to...

worse,

until the storm finally weakened. Every entry in my journal from this point gets progressively more hopeful, more resilient against the bad days.

:> This was around the point where I decided I wouldn't give up, come hell or high water. The progress was slow, like bleeding stone and pulling teeth, but it was moving. By the turn of the new year I was battered and bruised, but still hopeful. And I know that this, these emotions that I went through, were way out of proportion for a hobby writing project, but with every ask that came through telling me about your MC's budding journey in Ouro, every gushing emotion you've shared with me, every gleaming piece of art, every kind word; every correcting one, too, this grew to something really precious to me. I wouldn't give it up for anything, even if it feels like I'm barely keeping my head above surface in this terrifying, stormy sea of a life.

I can't wait to see what comes next, even if the road is bumpy. All I know is that I will keep chipping away at this story with everything I got. And all I can say is that I'm so grateful for your continued support and patience, I barely have words for it. You are incredible. Thank you.

Now, enough of my bleeding heart. Get over here! I have some treats to share.

Mainly, it is the little update to the demo that I'd like to share; Idren/Ida's 101. I did my best to finish it today, but I only had an hour or two of effective worktime (excuse: I was outside for most of the day in bloody blizzard and it knocked me on my ass more than I'd like to admit). It is cut off at the different scene transitions, which I will add after I have some time to work on them this saturday. Id's 101 was the most complex out of all of them, so there is still plenty to explore and different outcomes to see. I hope you have fun!

To see it, go through Lena's scene and don't scream -> accept alliance -> visit archives. That will take you to the new content. CW for very emotionally charged arguments and... almost dying.

Play it here. Save often. (or wait until next week as I sadly couldn't finish everything on time for the anniversary) (I have done bare minimum playtesting, but I will fix any gamebreaking errors if there are any, immediately. There shouldn't be any, but you never know.)

A sneakpeek of the short I also will be working on on saturday:

It is sunny on the day of $!{leith}'s funeral. It is not supposed to be sunny. It is supposed to rain on bad days, and the wind is supposed to whip dry leaves into dancing columns. Thunder is supposed to rumble in the distance, and then right near so that the even the windows rattle with trepidation. But it doesn't. The sun lounges calmly on the perfectly still water of Riven's lake, glittering with winking light as the serene waves lick the edge of the populated harbor. There is chatter, too, not the moaning whispers of grieving people. Not a sob to be heard, but the flutter of a laugh and a joyous embrace of lovers right in front of you. 

"People have forgotten, the sacrifice we made." Lyselin stands in full knight-hunter armor beside you, the silver gleaming in the stark light.

And some art of F!Leith that I have started:

♥ That's it. Know that I'm working as hard as I can (both on Ouro, and learning how to balance work around it, lmao.), even if I fall short sometimes, there ain't no quitting. See you soon!

[ace-cf-cups]

Friendly reminder that up until 4B/S5 (so, until writers began to mess her up), Belle has never had problems with Rumple's magic, in Enchanted Forest or Storybrooke. She even liked it.

In fact, her only issue with Rumple in earlier seasons wasn't his use of magic but his reluctance to be completely honest with her / share things with her.

[thedomesticanthropologist]

Who would love an extremely detailed description of ear massage that they can use for fanfiction (or for personal use?)

I read a few incredible "Astarion has sensitive ears" smut fics and I feel like I can contribute to ear massage information

I'll write it as a platonic mini drabble but I wanted to see if this was info people wanted?

[hawkeyeslaughter]

it would be SOO funny if i got turned to being a bj liker on this rewatch because growing up i always had to listen to my mother ( trapgirl ) complain about how she couldn’t stand bj but my grandmother LOVED him and this was always a sore point of debate .

[cancerian-woman]

tortured myself watching deleted Stefonnie scenes oh my gawd

[little-bumblebeeee]

just realized Joe Quinn and Keery were the ones playing it gay. Duffers fr just threw in a "hehe Steve and Nancy" speech and THE ACTORS were the one to make that shit gay....the duffer bitches I shall call them

[sneezingfetishftw-fics]

Insufferable (5/7)

Getting close to the endgame here, I think! I’ve been excited about this chapter of the Vox sickfic for a while. Previous chapters: 1 2 3 4

Next chapters: 6 7

Wavs: 1 3

————————————————

If Velvette believed in prayer, she would be praying for a miracle right now. Of course, ending up in hell tended to make one think that any god would be unlikely to help out. So she resigned herself to hoping for a new development.

When Vox stumbled out from the bedroom, he was lacking all of the enthusiasm and energy he’d had the previous times. His screen was full of tiny cracks, though it was unclear if this was a broken screen or just a malfunctioning display. The center of his screen had a bright spot but everything else was dull. “Ugh, what time is it?”

“Morning, Vox. It’s 10.”

“Shit,” he said, rubbing his sore head. “Didn’t I have an interview today?”

Velvette shook her head. “That was yesterday, and it’s already taken care of. All you need to do is rest, love.”

Vox sighed and collapsed on the couch, as if he had used up all of the day’s energy just by standing and saying a few words. “I feel fucking awful.”

Velvette just nodded. “I know.”

“And I just…” he paused, turning his head around the room. “Where’s that radio coming from? Why the fuck is there a radio in here?”

“I’m not hearing anything,” Velvette said. “And besides, there’s no more functioning electronics in this room anyway.”

“I could have sworn I heard… hhh’tzzzch!” A small shower of sparks fell from his screen.

“And that’s why there’s no functioning electronics in this room,” she added, resisting the urge to roll her eyes. “How’s that virus scan coming?” she asked, approaching his display.

“I have a virus?” Vox’s face froze, not like a broken program but rather like a shattered hope.

“And memory loss.”

“You sure you don’t hear that radio?”

She shook her head. “And hallucinations, apparently.”

“What are you guys talking about?” Val asked, walking in.

“Val, please tell me you hear that fucking obnoxious radio static.”

Val raised an eyebrow. “What the fuck are you talking about? All I hear is your fans whirring like a helicopter.”

“Fucking hell, I can hear his cackling too. Buzzing static and maniacal laughter and… heh’TZZZZCHT! Constant irritation.” He clawed at his arms. Valentino left the room and came back with an anti-itch lotion, rubbing it in generously. “Thanks, Val, but I don’t think that’s actually doing anything.”

Valentino shrugged. “Worth a try. Speaking of worth a try…” he found the volume controls on Vox’s side and turned them down. “Do you still hear the static now?” Vox’s mouth moved in response, but no sound emerged. “Damn it, he’s lost his voice again!” He blew some smoke into Vox’s vents and Velvette stared at him incredulously.

“You turned his speakers down, idiot! Of course you can’t hear him!” It was very strange to watch Vox sneeze with no sound. Just the flickering screen, the odd facial expressions, and the flurry of sparks. Eventually, she turned the volume back up just in time to catch the tail end of the fit.

“HHHH’TDDZZZZZSH! Heh’TZZZCHT! Hhh’TTTTZZZZZZCHHH!” Vox deliberately aimed the last few at Val to express his discomfort, and the other jumped from the shock. “Thanks for nothing,” he groaned, clawing at his throat. He grimaced and launched into a hacking cough, looking incredibly frustrated and confused when it was done. “You guys didn’t suddenly adopt a pet while I was asleep, did you?” Velvette and Val both shook their heads. “And Val, you haven’t seen Angel recently?”

“No, why?”

“Because I have the distinct sensation of fur in my mouth and it just won’t go away no matter what I do. Fucking gross.”

A warning popped up on Vox’s screen. “Sensors appear to be malfunctioning.” Yeah, no shit. Vox’s fans kicked into an even higher gear than the Vees had thought possible and he began to shiver so violently Velvette wondered if he was going to shut down for the fourth time since this disaster began.

“V-V-V-V-V-V…” Velvette and Val made eye contact with each other and then with Vox, having no way to tell which of them he was calling for. “V-V-Val, c-c-could you get me some… hhh’tzzzsh! S-s-some w-water?” Val nodded and came back with a cup of warm water. He handed it to Vox, whereupon it promptly fell out of the weak grip of the TV demon’s trembling hands. “Sorry.” Val began cleaning up the spill and winced when a sneeze from Vox electrocuted him through the puddle. “Sorry again.”

Velvette searched the cupboards for a pitcher with a spout, then filled it with more warm water and poured it into Vox’s mouth. She had to pause a few times to let him swallow, but eventually all the water was in his system. A small smile spread across his dim screen and he seemed a little calmer, though still clearly quite pathetic and uncomfortable.

His eyes went wide as he stared at a spot in the room. “Wait, what? Alastor… no. No, he can’t be here. There’s no way he’d get past security. It’s just… why does it feel so real?” He buried his face in the couch, trying to dull his senses but nothing worked. He began crying again, this time deep, wracking sobs that shook the whole couch as his fist pounded limply against the pillow. “Please, God, no! I can’t do this anymore!” Valentino’s eyes flitted towards the guns, but Velvette shook her head. Vox looked up at both of them, his screen crackling with energy that was somehow both weak and desparate. “How the hell am I supposed to deal with this?”

Before either of them could formulate a response, another warning popped up on the screen. “Virus removal has been halted due to insufficient resources. Recommend upgrading to stronger anti-virus protection… Checking for updates… No updates available. Try again later.” From the way Vox’s face fell so far it was practically off screen, it was clear he was aware of the message. “No! Please! I can’t… I’ll do anything!”

“Oh ho ho, anything, you say? This will be fun.” Velvette and Val winced as the voice rang out through the room, first from the sheer volume of it and then from the realization that now they could hear it too. This was far from the new development Velvette had been hoping for. But it was the new development they would have to face.

[evilcare]

Um…

“He followed her around the woods until she agreed to have sex with him. She only had sex with him to get her to leave her alone.”

I have never heard such an ignorant statement in my entire life. 😢༼ಢ_ಢ༽

I only watched 5x11 once and that was when I first watched the show. Which was December 2022. And I know full and damn well that that is not how it went down. I have a clear memory of what happened. And that ain’t it.

Klaus did not say to Caroline, “I’ll leave you alone and leave Hellhole Falls forever if you let me eat your coochie/let me fuck.” 🙄

No. I specifically remember him asking her for her confession about him. About her feelings for him. Not once did he ever imply that he wanted her to have sex with him in exchange for him leaving Mystic Falls. He asked for the truth. It was not a transaction for sex in exhange for him fucking leaving Mystic Falls.

Klaus: I want your confession.

Caroline: About what? I didn’t do anything!

Klaus: About me.

He asked for her honesty. He promised her that he was leaving town for good and the only thing that he asked her for was her honesty. He had always respected Caroline for her honesty and he asked to be real this last time.

Stop making it out to be like he coerced her into sleeping with him. As I recall, Caroline was the one who kissed him. Not the other way around. She said in 5x15, that it was her choice to sleep with Klaus and she even told Kat that it felt good to kiss him. It was HER choice. Not once did he ever force her into doing something that she did not want to do. Nor did he compel her. You must be getting Klaus mixed up with the town’s number one sexual predator. ⬇️🙄

⬆️ He sleeps with the women he compels by the way. *cough cough* They have no free will meaning that they cannot consent. *cough cough* He also tries to kiss women after they reject him. But Caroline is called a thot for what happened to her, for hating Damon, and for actually feeling disturbed that Elena was with him. Even though Caroline was coming from a place of worry. Wouldn’t you be worried if your friend was hooking up with your abuser? Wouldn’t you be concerned if your friend was sire bonded to the guy who is possibly abusing your friend the same way he abused you? And people act like what Damon did to Andi is isn’t an issue because she’s “irrelevant,” although the shit he did was disturbing. Just because Andi wasn’t a huge character like the main gang doesn’t mean that what Damon did to her should be brushed over. It was disturbing. And if y’all lie and say that what Damon did to Care and Andi was not SA, then you and your mother will be receiving the blocked button. I will not argue with you. Keep it in the fucking drafts.

Klaus is not the same as Damon. Sorry not sorry. And don’t y’all dare bring up the scene that happened in the woods in 4x01. He gave her a warning. “Wrong place, wrong equipment,” or something like that. If he wanted her only for sex and was a creep like Damon, and had no respect for Caroline, then he would have acted as if he was Tyler and slept with her while he was in Tyler’s body or fucking compelled her. But he didn’t do either of those things. Klaus respects Caroline. Period. You can come up with whatever bullshit excuse you want. I don’t give a damn. Also, the Damon is a Demon gif is not mine.

[disneyprincessdxminatrix]

I don’t believe in ugly people, ugly art, bad writing, disgusting food etc. Everyone has different taste and that is okay and good. I don’t know why so many people feel the need to put things down just because they personally can’t relate to the people who like them. Who gives even a fuck about the things you think are badly don’t or gross or ugly? I hate the generalisation of these things. It makes me so fucking mad. You can say that you do not like something or that something doesn’t appeal to you. But! No one- no one is ugly. and no art is bad. and no food is universally disgusting.

Stop being negative and rude.

It had to be said.

[nxuvillette]

i hate some of these people who complain about plot being in a smut fic. like, y’all are that addicted to porn that you need it to be the majority in a fic? then go and complain to the writer?

atp, go set up your own blog and write it yourself.