#writing this as if we had lost the title already

[angstigone]

𝐈'𝐦 𝐬𝐚𝐝 𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧, (𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐦𝐲 𝐛𝐨𝐲𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝)

(the title is a lyric from the song 'what was I made for' by billie eilish).

𝗡𝗮𝗻𝗮𝗺𝗶 𝗞𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗼 𝘅 𝗦𝗲𝗮𝗺𝘁𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘀! 𝗥𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿 (𝗕𝗿𝗶𝗱𝗴𝗲𝗿𝘁𝗼𝗻 𝗔𝗨)

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 (𝟏): 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧' 𝐚 𝐝𝐫𝐢𝐯𝐞, 𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐬 (𝐚𝐧 𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐥)

(A/N): hello there, lovelies!

or should I say... dearest gentle readers.

satorou's series has come to an end but not to me being obsessed with bridgerton. hence here comes a whole new series focused onto nanami (my beloved).

as always, pls be patient with the gentle writer, as I am a bit in a struggling situation, as I think that I burned out with my writing of the previous series and I am going to stick to (1) fic per week. (and the next one shall be the poly! satosugu continuation).

as always, though: reblogs and comments always have me writing faster and better, so don't forget to leave some if you wish to.

tagging, @arcielee!

SUMMARY: what could go wrong when for one night you pretend to be a lady?

«Wait, my lady!». You were startled by the command, obeying it without thinking as you turned around to catch the sight of the man being a bit disheveled and throughout even the dark shield of the night you could tell he was flustered, as if embarrassed.  You dreaded the thought that either your behavior or the one of Utahime had put him in discomfort and waited to apologize when he spoke again. «… I… I didn’t … well, I didn’t catch your name».

WARNINGS: angst and romance, period-typical misogyny and poverty, slight mention of previous series and of the reader's traumatic past, lies and treachery, slight manipulation, utahime being the bestie we all deserve, afab character/she/her pronouns, regency au.

«Isn’t he so dreamy?».

It was probably the umpteenth time that you spoke about a specific gentleman among the ton while quickly handling the ladies’ overcoat and dresses that needed a quick stitching at the latest ball of the season. 

Your friend - as the numerous times before - simply rolled her eyes as she wetted the thread between the lips before rushing to get it through the needle.

«If he is so dreamy, why don’t you go and talk to him?».

The sole thought had your cheeks heat up as you almost let go of the fabric that you were stitching back together; two ladies had almost lost a foot through a battle of stepping on each other’s dress over the attention of a particular man. 

After all, the main attraction of the season had been settled since Satorou Gojo had been married to lady Haibara, last year and the best of the least was to be contended among those who had been his suitors.

«I could never» you said as you finally found the ripped fabric and went to examine if in your bag for a matching thread so that the obvious stitching up wouldn’t be too visible. 

As balls seemed to bring forward as many victims among fabrics as among squealing mothers, your employer and infamous modiste Mrs. Mei Mei, had thought it smart to send a pair of her fastest and most talented seamstresses at the season balls, to stitch up dresses and to offer new ones.

The ladies whose dress you and Utahime were promptly stitching up, were already on the dancefloor with another dress while you both stood in the servant wing with a candle and pricked finger.

«Why?» Utahime questioned genuinely, as if she couldn’t tell the obvious problem: you were a commoner, no matter your expertise as a seamstress while Nanami Kento, the specific gentleman who had stolen your heart this season, was a lord. 

«His last marriage prospect was lady Haibara, before count Gojo snagged her up!» you promptly protested with flustered cheeks and a general unease at your station as you regarded the prompt difference between the dress you held in your laps and the one you were currently wearing. 

Not ratty nor disgraceful but it certainly lacked any trace of the elegance of the other one.

«… a love story between us? It’d be good in a novel, not in real life!».

«It isn’t like he’s utter and pureblooded nobility» still Utahime insisted and you knew she could be quite stubborn whenever she wished, hence why you were dreading your own loud mouth and festering feelings «… his father gained the title by making a lot of money and marrying a fallen lady. It isn’t like he wouldn’t know the struggles of us working class!».

«I doubt that he knows them» you muttered as you recalled the richness of his simple but elegant ensemble of the night that you had caught as you passed by the ballroom to be delivered the dresses. 

You had had to enter through the servants’ door, which felt a bit humiliating as the governess handling the house called out to you with an utter rush as if you were medics for somebody who had fallen beneath a fainting spell.

Hence a further reason not to even think about lord Kento Nanami, as you were sure to just break your silly little heart.

«Either way, I am done with this!» Utahime thrilled as she raised up alongside the dress to adjust it in the slightest and ensure that the stitch was done well enough in the little time that you were given «Gods, am I wrong or is this your size?».

You laughed at the vain chance that it had to be as you regarded the elegant and warm orange color of the fabric, gently caressing it with wonder; you’d have thought it to be imported from some wondrous country as you noticed also the precious jewels stashed among the silhouette to have it appear slimmer.

«It’d be wonderful if we were able to wear such pretty dresses, wouldn’t it?» you joked lightly although as soon as such a comment exited your mouth, your friend was promptly smirking at you with what was one of her usual devilish ideas «… Utahime, that’s a terrible idea!».

«I’d take it as a sign» she promptly shot back «… you like the dress… it’s your size… Kento Nanami is in the crowd…».

«I think that will get us in trouble!».

Mrs. Mei Mei wasn’t half a bad employer, although she ran you raggedly and she could be a bit… tight with the paycheck, but she wasn’t as brutal as many under which you had served before ending there. 

Still, you doubted that she’d have appreciated it much if you had shown up at a ball in a client’s dress, not to talk about that specific client.

«What if… what if they notice that it isn’t my own? What if they call me out on it?».

It was a risk for such a brief thrill that it wouldn’t have ever passed through your head, but Utahime kept on lightly pushing you, shoving the dress against your chest and the further you felt it onto your body, the more you noticed just how beautiful and fitting it was.

«I have heard that as her rival got the boy, she went back home» Utahime muttered to try to cease your worry promptly, as she noticed obviously that you were starting to consider it «… at least try it on! For my eyes, my beauty!».

You chuckled at your friend’s dramatics, eventually worn over as went to ditch your own and tried it on, and it did fit like a glove, enough that you didn’t need a mirror to know that it looked decadently gorgeous upon you as Utahime’s deep admiration was evident on her face. And she wasn’t one for easy feelings.

«Well, if you wouldn’t catch lord Nanami’s eyes all dolled up, like this!».

«I highly doubt it as my hair is a mess and I haven’t any blush» you shot her down promptly, going to undress yourself although Utahime stilled your hands promptly.

«Isn’t it Mrs. Mei Mei’s policy that it’s the dress which makes the lady out of even a pauper?» Utahime feigned Mei Mei’s low baritone voice with the slight pitch at the end of each phrase much to your hilarity «… alright, alright… no ball for you, my lady. But what about a stroll in the garden? I don’t know about you but this closed storage room with no windows is getting to me».

And although you felt like it was still risky you eventually agreed as you were in no rush to get out of the dress and you doubted that there’d be anybody in the gardens when the balls were inside. 

Especially as Utahime ditched you for a bathroom break on your way out through a sneaky attempt to avoid any of the house servants as you basked in the cold air of the night after the stale feeling of the small room.

With the dress on you could further feel like an appropriate lady, low key imagining yourself in a life of refinery and no thoughts, instead of calluses, tiredness and little sleep as you stressed over your big dream to open a shop of your own.

«Gods, it’d be a dream» you told yourself, sure that you were alone in the garden.

So, you startled when a male voice called out for you right as you were turned to observe a pair of beautiful nighttime flowers, captivated by their resilience through the night and shocked by how the flowers seemed of a close color as your own dress:

«My lady».

You turned as if being caught wasn’t enough, it was by none other than the special gentleman who had your heart, as Kento Nanami held out a hand to you, although keeping a comfortable distance.

«… I… I didn’t mean to startle you, my lady».

You weren’t able to process the thought, as you felt like you should have said something, but the sole thought that your brain retained was that this distinguished gentleman thought you to be some kind of lady, while you were the furthest thing ever from that.

«My… my lady?» you had meant to have such a comment more for yourself than to anybody else, although lord Nanami was quick to catch onto it as he murmured.

«If lady isn’t the title I shall address you with, please do let me know».

He was far kinder - and patient - than any of the lords that would sometimes flirt with you at the shops behind their wives’ backs, and you couldn’t help but further enamor yourself at the thought. 

You had fallen in love with his sight upon noticing him on one of the first balls of your season, sneaking a look at the way he always seemed so posed and detached.

Mature and elegant in a way that you knew that if he had to be a dress, he’d be worn by the finest of gentlemen. 

And the most royal.

You had always thought, though, that it was an infatuation - nothing long-lasting once you discovered he wasn’t that different from the others - although the gentleness with which he regarded you although discomfort was clear in his honeyed brown eyes had you wishing that he wouldn’t disappoint you.

«I… no, I am… I am sorry… you just… startled me. I thought… I thought I was alone».

«It isn’t… well, it isn’t my role to act paternalistically but… should you be out? All alone?» while others might take advantage of the situation, he meant it with genuine concern.

«I am not… I am not alone, I…» you looked to where Utahime had wandered off - that bastard - and hoped to sound truthful enough as it was the sole lie you had said «… my friend… she… she found some lovely flowers she wished to sketch and wanted a closer look… she’s … she’s around no worries!».

«Oh that’s a relief, as I don’t mean to well… compromise you, my lady» he commented a bit awkwardly, which you found… strangely endearing «… we already have had one scandal too many this season».

«No… well, no scandal with me, kind sir. Although I am grateful… not many men. Well, you are… thank you, my lord» a further reason why you shouldn’t ever be talking with lord Nanami to express to Utahime, who you saw with your side eye and waved over promptly «… here’s my friend… my dear, how were the flowers?».

«The…» at your slight kick in the shin Utahime cursed underneath the breath and you refused to look at Nanami happy that in the dark light of the night he wouldn’t be able to see your obvious impoverished looks, sullen faces and messy hair «… they were delightful, my dear. But I have had enough of looking at flowers, why don’t we go back inside?».

«I need to use the powder room though» you pointed out to her as there was no doubt that lod Nanami would have happily suggested to accompany you and that’d have ruined your whole pretense. 

Although, you still felt the anxiety coaxing through you for having done such a bold move, you couldn’t help but be glad that for once, you got to see the man whose face haunted your every waking night.

You turned to him one last time, emboldened by the thought that this would be probably the last time that you’d see him forever in your life.

«Thank you again, my lord» and you made to turn around quickly as you knew that Utahime wouldn’t be holding out on the laugh written all over her face for long and you’d have preferred not to cause general hilarity because you were sure you’d have started to hysterically laugh as well.

«Wait, my lady!».

You were startled by the command, obeying it without thinking as you turned around to catch the sight of the man being a bit disheveled and throughout even the dark shield of the night you could tell he was flustered, as if embarrassed. 

You dreaded the thought that either your behavior or the one of Utahime had put him in discomfort and waited to apologize when he spoke again.

«… I… I didn’t … well, I didn’t catch your name».

Shit, you told yourself in your mind as you thought that you couldn’t give Nanami your own name as if he meant to seek you out he’d have found somebody directly him to the modiste and in turn he’d have known of your little infraction of pretending to be a lady and it might cost not only your job but also your reputation in his eyes.

«Lady … ahem…» you sent a look to Utahime hoping and praying it wouldn’t send as suspicious as you knew the two of you to look «… Tsukumo!».

It was the name of the last client of the day that you had served that day, as she had needed a few reparations and adjustments on the dresses that she had ordered being quite the tall lady and you knew that she wouldn’t be around as she had ordered many of what she had bought for a trip in Italy, to enjoy the lovely season.

So, she wouldn’t be around to call you out on the bluff.

You had saved the day - and your ass - happily.

«Well… lady Tsukumo I… I do hope to see you back inside» were you wrong or his words seemed genuine and a slight blush coated his cheeks.

«Of course, my lord».

And like that you turned on your heels because in five minutes, Utahime erupted in a loud laugh.

«And you said you weren’t ever going to speak to him!».

You had said such a thing but while you were trailing around with Utahime at the market browsing for cheap appliques for your own future dresses as you had wished to stitch up something in the fashion of the one worn at the party. 

The one that had caught lord Nanami’s eye, although you had an inkling that it might have been less fascination and more the curiosity one would have in front of a carriage incident.

Still, your thoughts were elsewhere when you were startled by a gentle hand on your shoulder, turning around to find that it wasn’t Utahime’s own - who had moved nearby a flower stand - but instead a manly one with slightly blondish hair on the back of it before your eyes bore into tired brown ones.

Lord Nanami, again, on your path.

«Lady Tsukumo» he seemed almost relieved by your acknowledgement although you flustered beet red at the obvious implication that he had fallen into the lie «… I tried calling upon you but you must not have heard me!».

No, it was more like you hadn’t acknowledged him because you weren’t a lady and your family name wasn’t Tsukumo and to accost himself so openly to you, it had you definitely near panic as you looked around yourself to see whether anybody had heard the lord’s words.

Probably noticing your unease, he was quick to mutter.

«Oh, I must have… interrupted you» no, you were just panicking because the man you had been harboring an idolizing crush on thought you were a whole other person. 

Still, you couldn’t tell him such a thing.

«After all, we are strangers who met at the ball a few nights ago. In my haste, I didn’t even give you my name».

You wished to tell him that you had been the hasty one and that your panic wasn’t created by him coming onto you, although your fluster was definitely the direct consequence of it.

«I am lord Nanami» he bowed to you properly as one would to a lady and you were quick to rush him back to his proper standing position before anybody noticed him in such formality.

«No… no need for formalities and I do know your name» oh what a faux-pas «… I… well, you are… you are on the talk. I think I even read a pamphlet from Lady Murasaki about you!».

Oh, as if that wouldn’t have you be further vapid in his eyes, but maybe if you played the role with enough boredom, he’d have relented, although something rotten filled your stomach at the thought of being willingly cruel towards Nanami, albeit you were enough by impersonating another in his presence.

«Well, I do hope it was only good thing» was that a jest, as his face slightly opened in a softer expression of contemplation «… you may never know with such a lady».

«You are right, my lord. It is always better to attest to things in person» you trudged on simply although not without a slight giggle.

«That’s a good motto, lady Tusukumo» and he must have seen the way your stomach dropped at the name as he immediately became more stoic «… still, please forgive my slight intrusion upon your roundabouts, I didn’t… well, I just thought to approach you as you must know that after that ball… after that night in the gardens…».

This time your tummy filled with something that felt very much like alive butterflies slamming against your ribcage. A violent image to explain perfectly the nature of your feelings.

«… you must know that you have left me with a curiosity».

Oh, you flustered deeply, all cheeks heated and an hand upon your mouth to hide your expression at the man’s kind hearted but very obvious honesty; you wouldn’t have expected such a direct approach from a man that was defined by everybody as cold and collected and you were startled that such a sight was reserved for you, a mere stranger.

A mere stranger that you were deceiving.

The thought immediately bittered up any of your feelings as the lord went on, much to your sinking heart.

«… and I had wished to invite you to take tea with me, one of these days».

Oh, you couldn’t dig yourself further into this mess, especially when you didn’t want to take advantage of lord Nanami’s availability, although you found it… confusing that such a distinguished gentleman would go for somebody like you. 

A dress might make a lady but one moment with you and he’d have recognized immediately that you weren’t anything but such a thing.

«Such an offer is… wondrous, my lord» you tried your hands at the rich-folk speaking as you went to use the words that left the young ladies attending the shop upon seeing the final creation of the dresses «… still, I sadly shall have to decline it».

Oh the way that you caught but for one moment, the lord’s tight expression you couldn’t help but immediately regret your words.

«I hadn’t meant to come onto you too strongly, my …».

«Oh no no! No such a thing!» you felt flustered, palms sweaty and again that rotten feeling in your lower body. 

If this was a way of the universe to get back to you for having played pretend that time in the garden, you thought that it was being far harsher than it needed to be.

«… you see, I just… I’ll be leaving… in a few days. For Italy! So, ahem… I sadly won’t be able to attend many gatherings».

He didn’t question why you’d be leaving right halfway through the season, thankfully and the slight hurt that filled his brown eyes was but for a swift moment - that lasted far more in your own agony - as he eventually gave you a softer smile, regaining his tight posture.

«Of course, my lady. I thank thee for your honesty. And I do wish you safe travels» he was genuinely and you couldn’t help but feel yourself fluster: no other man had ever treated you like this, with a genuine concern and respect and although it should have been far more common, it felt extraordinary to be regarded as an actual human being «… I have my own trip coming into. A business one, so not very pleasant, but…».

You startled as you had thought it’d be a good time to sneak away also as Utahime was harshly gesturing for you over lord Nanami’s shoulder.

«… if you ever return here, my offer for tea is still open».

«This is the best job we ever got!» Utahime screeched as her head hit the pillow of the luxurious guest room you had been given for your following work, while you stayed a bit frazzled at the threshold of such a wondrous place. 

As big as your whole apartment above the modiste’s shop and filled with enough commodity that you’d have echoed Utahime’s feeling hadn’t it been for the brewing sense of unease in your stomach.

You had been startled when Mrs. Mei Mei had called you over and beside her you had noticed a familiar blonde figure with an elegant dress of your manufacture, lady Yuki Tsukumo. You had startled thinking that your bluff had been caught, immediately wishing to go down on your knees but instead, lady Yuki - as she had insisted on calling you - had shut you down promptly.

“Would you be able to do me a favor?” she had promptly questioned you “... you see, after my trip in Italy I shall travel a bit Southern than here to my own hometown as…”.

She had then lightly shown off her hands, as a bright red ring in a silver band was making its presence known.

“... I am getting married!”.

You had wished your congratulations although with your mind still at unease and wondering what she meant by telling you all of this. 

Thankfully, Mrs. Mei Mei took over for her.

“You see, my darlings, lady Yuki was startled by your talent with the dresses that she gave you and she asked me to have my best seamstresses sent to her hometown to begin with the preparations for the wedding dresses while she’s away”.

You were startled by such a request as it was the weird and excessive kind of request that you guessed only noble women and rich ladies could afford.

Especially as she must have paid quite the expensive amount of money to have you and Utahime - the best and sole seamstresses - in the shop away from it.

“You’ll be treated as my guests in one of my properties, and I will have my servants suffice you with any fabric that you might prefer. Silk, brocade or lace” lady Yuki had insisted, as if you had ever meant to deny such a request “... you’ll have nothing to worry about and you’ll be rewarded handsomely”.

Hence you and Utahime had had just the time to pack up and be sent to lady Yuki’s hometown after the first draft of her wedding dresses had been approved, with Mrs. Mei Mei kindly but also threateningly telling you this was an occasion for both the shop and you.

“See that you attend to the matter well and properly, as I have taught you” she had spoken as she had accompanied you to the carriage, before sending you off with a bare wave.

Now, in lady Yuki’s property - attended by a few servants - you were both startled by the beauty of the place and the richness that you hadn’t ever tasted.

The governess had insisted to have you furnished with food and especially that you tasted everything that was typical till you had rolled to your rooms, just to be further startled as Utahime had so perfectly conveyed.

Unlike her, though, you held a pang of anxiety for such a task and not even the advantages made it all that much worthy, especially as you regretted having left the season so you wouldn’t have been able to spy on lord Nanami anymore, although that could be actually a good thing; he had seemed to chase after you - for whatever stupid reason that might come from his kind heart, as you were doubtful that he had meant to simply court you - and you didn’t wish for rumors to spread about your presence onto your employer, lady Tsukumo.

It’d go well, you promised to yourself, telling Utahime that you’d be visiting the garden on the backside of the property to have a breath of fresh air before going to undo your luggage.

You even picked up some flowers after assuring yourself with the gardener that it’d be alright, as you wished to press them and use them as decoration for some hats for lady Tsukumo, enchanted by the beauty of the white arums, and going to gently grab one just to accidentally lose your balance while being on your tiptoes as they were on an higher shelf than the rest.

You immediately cursed yourself, not as much as for the impact of the rock ground, but for the way it’d have inevitably stained your good journey dress as Utahime - who seemed to enjoy all this pretending much more than you - had insisted that dressed up as ‘proper ladies’, although traveling with a communal coach.

Mrs. Mei Mei might have received a large invoice but she hadn’t certainly meant to spend a dime on your comfort.

You cursed underneath your breath and closed your eyes but the hit never came as, instead a pair of arms was enveloped around you swiftly. 

Your mind immediately went to the gardener but you startled upon turning around and being faced not with a fifty-year-old somewhat gruff man but instead, none other than lord Nanami.

This had to be a curse put upon you.

«Lady… lady Tsukumo?» he asked confusedly as you noticed that he was also wearing comfortable travel clothes, far more relaxed than his usual prim attire and with the sleeves of his shirt raised as to show his arms. 

You felt your fluster just deepen as something akin to a burning feeling heated in your stomach.

«… shouldn’t… shouldn’t you be in Italy?».

Oh shit.

Right, you had… you had told him that you were in Italy. Which you weren’t.

You must seem such a huge liar in his eyes and thinking that you couldn’t worsen the situation, you were quick to add a soft-spoken.

«Yes, I… I should have» you muttered shyly, trying to come up with a proper excuse as to why you might not be in Italy «… but you see… my… my friend. The one… that was with me in the garden… she’s… she’s recovering from a bad… a terrible sickness!».

You hoped such an excuse to be believable as it explained the swift change of plan and as Nanami knew and had seen Utahime, you had further proof that you weren’t lying.

Nanami’s expression from tight wound seemed to relax a bit as the realization of your presence there settled into him.

«That’s … that’s very kind of you, my lady» no, you were but a dirty liar «… and although I am displeased for your friend, I am glad that our roads have met again».

And while you were glad to plunder yourself with his interest and his beautiful appearance, you were nothing but anxious at your exchange as you were risking far more than simply pretending to be somebody else. 

You were actively feigning to be your employer, which might not just cause a scandal but also have you fired.

Then how would you have sustained yourself? 

Your father had died when you were young and your mother had become ill while you finished your apprenticeship as a seamstress, leaving you when Mrs. Mei Mei agreed to hire you in a new city. A clean cut that was settled onto you not misbehaving nor conducting yourself unfairly.

You were playing with fire and while you should have ushered lord Nanami quickly with the explanation that you had to attend your friend, instead you asked him:

«What about you? What…».

«I am here for a job. Setting some business straight, as I did think that I had told you that I’d be traveling soon».

«Oh! I do remember I just…» you hadn’t expected for him to be constantly close to you by Destiny’s orders.

«… I hadn’t mentioned where I’d be staying but I couldn’t… well, I didn’t expect our roads to match again» and then he did the worst thing possible: he smiled. So openly and sweetly that it had you in a choke hold «… but I am glad for such a trick of the Destiny».

And you were, as well, hadn’t you been that he didn’t know who you truly were.

«In… indeed…» you muttered feigning shyness while you were still processing the whole matter at hand «… I am … terribly pleasured by such a… meeting, my lord. I was… saddened by my inability to fulfill your offer and thought that you believed me rude and…».

«No such thing» and what was terrifying was that he meant it truly «I was… sad that I couldn’t stench my curiosity of knowing such a … an interesting lady but I… I wouldn’t begrudge you when traveling is something that I  adore greatly. And Italy! Oh, I do hope that you shall travel to it as soon as your friend recovers».

«That should be the plan» 

Such as ditching the whole city once you finished the body and reinvent yourself under a new name because there was now no way that you’d survive so many meetings without leaving a lasting impression in the man’s mind and although you knew it was dangerous you hoped that such a thing would stay 

«… in the meanwhile, if your duties to your friend ever allow you some free time, I’d love nothing more than to have that tea» and he sent a slight look behind himself to an equally elegant mansion behind him «… as it seems we are neighbors».

From worst to worse.

«Oh, oh… I hadn’t… noticed».

«Yes, it’s just… a house I rented for the sake of this trip and its comfortability and…» thank God, at least your bluff wouldn’t be discovered all that soon «… so, indeed. Do come and ask for me… I am not… my business it to be mostly handled in the mornings so I have many afternoons free… obviously if you don’t have…».

«My days are mostly spent entertaining a sarcastic friend with little gratitude for my work» that wasn’t at all a lie, probably the first truth that you spoke as Utahime fit perfectly that description «… tea with somebody like you, my lord, would be… in the least … refreshing».

And it hit you only when you came face-to-face with him and his slightly upwards lips - oh God, you couldn’t simply fixate yourself on a smile - that you realized that you had indeed set yourself on the worst road possible. 

And all for the sake of somebody that you couldn’t have.

This would have ended up badly but with the way the lord’s brown eyes lingered gently on your lips, you couldn’t find yourself to care too much.

credits for dividers: @/saradika-graphics

[trossibop]

quick rantttt hihi um so. i just listened to a podcast about bayern this season and someone was making a point that this struggle to win the title for bayern is just the end of an era, and it now makes us realise how much of an extraordinary (as in not usual) club bayern was. to dominate the liga for a decade and continually have this big terrifying image around europe since forever; now that its (practically) over, bayern returns to being just a normal club. and to me its true! it had to end somewhere, and i even think it will further create motivation for the team to really fight for the titles. i dont know if im clear enough but i dont care if dortmund wins the liga this year or any year - if they do, good for them, they would have deserved it. for now its only really depressing as bayern fan but it had to stop somewhere. and at least it while make the bundesliga interesting!! im sure everyone will be more invested. this sounds so condescending and nasty but we have to get used to losing again and know that its not the end of the world😭😭

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

trying to turn my shit day around by cosplaying as harrison matthew frost

[nobrashfestivity]

Everyone Hates Poetry 2024

Rules

Write a poem before Feb.5th and submit it to me with the submit feature or in an ask.

Poems should be less than 500 words

You can use your real name or your blog name but they can't be completely anonymous.

Poems will be published at 9pm on Wednesdays and then a link to each poem will be added to the bottom of this pinned post so people can read them all.

I can't stop anyone from reblogging their own poems and generally sharing art is a wonderful thing, but don't turn it into some kind of social media campaign. because people with a small number of followers would be at a disadvantage. This is supposed to be fun. Please do reblog this post and tag people if you think you know someone on tumblr that might be interested. Since the post will contain links to the submissions, your poem will not be lost in the shuffle.

If I receive less than 10 entries I'll cancel the contest and consider it a failed experiment.

Public voting will begin after the 5th.and account for 50% of the vote

A panel of judges will also vote but will not submit poems themselves, and their votes will make up the other 50% of the final tally.

.There will be small prizes for the winner and runner up.

This is my art blog and will remain so, as it always has been. I'm doing this because poets here don't get much chance to get their stuff read and I have a fair number of followers. It's just a little thing to do if you want. I'm not turning this into a poetry blog or a contest blog or anything else.

Poems don't need to be finished. Due to the one month time frame I would suspect these would be first drafts, but please write something new. I want to encourage people to do something now, however imperfect, rather than showing work that's already done.

Updates will follow. Thank you!

Rule clarifications

-Please dont send poems anonymously if at all possible. I am happy to include a name that doesn't identify your blog directly but it's impossible to refer to or contact people who submit poems anonymously. I can't have anonymous poems considered without at least a name for you and if you were to win a prize, you'd need a name and address to claim it. I don't so much care about the latter part, that's for you, this becomes very disorganized and hard to regulate with anonymous messages floating in.

-Please put the title of your poem above it. If it is below it, I have no way of distinguishing with certainty if it's a title or a last line.

One poem per person please.

if you do not wish to see the poetry contest entries just filter the tag "everyone hates poetry 2024"

Due to the very high volume of submissions I am blogging them more gradually as to give more attention to each one. The same tag, "everyone hates poetry 2024", that you can filter if you do not want to see these can be used to find the submissions. If you follow this tag you'll get them all.

Please note that I am now publishing these as asks, previously I had to retype to keep the formatting and there are simply too many entries

Submissions are now closed, I will be publishing submissions all week and then when all have been posted we will start the voting (stay tuned as to how and when)

[gor3-hound]

don't hold your breath(nobody's home)

ft. leon kennedy x fem!reader

cw: 18+ content, dead dove, uncle-niece incest, non-con, loss of virginity, very minor blood description, forced alcohol consumption, alcoholism from leon ofc, reader gets slapped, age gap, guilt, one threat, fingering, p in v, non-consensual creampie, crying, idk leon feels entitled cause his brother sucks, reader hinted at having nice tits idk

a/n: sorry if this sucks ass... my motivation for writing has been non-existent w real life stuff n all the drama so... i feel like this is awful but here we are. title from razzmatazz by idkhbtfm... not proofread i'm sorry </3

word count: 1.9k words

Leon knew he had a drinking problem. He just hadn't realised it had gotten this bad. He couldn't even get his dick up with viagra anymore. He frowns as he looks down at the brunette he was planning to fuck, tempted to try and just push it in soft.

He ends up just kicking her out to drown his sorrows. He wasn't dealing with this shit tonight, not when he was seeing his asshole brother tomorrow. Pretty wife, perfect kids. His job pays better than Leon's ever will, and he didn't need to undergo years of trauma. Lucky bastard.

Leon does what he does best that night and drinks enough whiskey so he can pass out without worrying about the nightmares coming to ruin his night. 

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

He hasn't seen you in a good six years. You were still playing with dolls and shit when he last visited. Makes him feel stupid when he brings you a plushie as a gift. Clearly he forgot how time worked, cause he still expected you to be thirteen. You still hug him and say thank you, sweet as ever. When his brother said he'd be watching the house and looking after you, he didn't expect to see you so... grown. Too old to need a babysitter, really. Even if your parents are gonna be gone for a week.

He gulps as his hands settle on your hips, trying to prevent you from pressing against his hardening cock. Down boy. At least his dick still works. It just took his college-aged niece to get it up. Doesn't help that you've got your tits smooshed against his chest.

Therapy was gonna be a doozy this week.

He could only pray that this doesn't turn into anything. The last thing he needed was his dick being the thing that got him thrown into prison for doing something stupid to you, no matter how cute that body of yours is. That's a new one, he thinks, mentally slapping himself for even thinking about touching you like that. He'd never do it, of course. That's sick, and he knows it. He's just so frustrated. And you're hot. A total babe. Somehow, you managed to get a better rack than your mom. Must be the Kennedy genes coming in. Leon's got tits for days.

He knew he had a drinking problem, but he never thought he'd lose himself this much. He never thought about hurting anyone. He's not a bad guy. It's just that every time he tried to be with someone, he just couldn't get his body to react the way he wanted. That's what the oxytocin was for, he thought, already thinking about taking a swig of whiskey from the flask in his pocket. If only that fucking stuff worked on him. The part of his brain that controlled his cock seemed to be permanently on vacation, and his wires clearly got crossed somewhere if he wants to fuck his own blood.

Whatever. He could get through a week alone with his niece without any trouble. He's faced worse monsters than the ones making themselves present in his mind right now. He'd keep his distance, and all would be okay.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

That didn't work. Of course it didn't. You were just as clingy with him as you were when you were a kid, following him around like a lost puppy. He's convinced he's clutching the glass of whiskey in his hand hard enough to shatter it as you curl up against his side. His cock is throbbing, and he seriously hopes you don't notice how the fabric of his jeans is getting a little strained.

You really need to stop with those tits. He's gonna lose it if they brush his arm one more time. He's not sure what it is about you, particularly, that has him acting like a teenage virgin again, but his self-control is wavering by the second. He hasn't paid a single second of attention to the movie he was meant to be watching to keep his mind off of you.

Fuck this.

He takes a swig of whiskey that drains half the liquid in his cup in one gulp. Liquid courage and all that. Maybe he'd drunk a little too much while he was here, ‘cause his brain clearly isn't working right. Not when he's pinning you to the couch, kissing your neck despite your protests.

“Leon… Leon, what're you doing?” You force out, small hands pressing at his chest as if you'd be able to knock him off. Cute. He'd fought creatures six times your size. You didn't stand a chance. 

He starts undressing you, and you start writhing and crying, hitting his chest with clenched fists. He swallows the lump that builds in his throat, wiping the tears that fall down your cheeks.

“Shh… it's okay, I'm… I'm gonna take care ‘f you.” He murmurs, his voice slightly slurred from how much he'd drunk. You cry even harder when he presses a finger into you, making the guilt rise up faster in him. That's not fair. He's being nice. God didn't bless him with much, but at least he gave him a fat cock. You should feel lucky he's prepping you. Not making him feel bad.

“Hey.” He warns, shoving another finger in just to shut you up. You finch when he scissors you open. Poor thing. “That's enough. One more complaint for you, and I'll just force myself in.”

Shit. Now he really does feel like a monster. He's not drunk enough to handle the pure terror on your face at his words. He fumbles on the coffee table with his free hand as he lazily pumps into you with the other. Glass? No. Bottle.

Maybe you need some, too. Get you nice and pliant so you'll take his dick without bitching. Not a bad idea. He twists the cap off with his teeth, gulping some of the liquid down himself. He takes another mouthful before leaning down to kiss you, spitting the liquid into the back of your throat. He keeps your mouth on yours even as you try to jerk away, making sure you swallow it.

You really are adorable as you start coughing and spluttering. Such a sweet thing, you probably hadn't even drunk before. He lifts the bottle to your mouth, pouring some more into your mouth before setting it down, covering your mouth. “Swallow.”

He starts thumbing at your clit as he fingers you, relishing in the ways your whimpers turn into soft moans, your hips bucking against his hand. He manages to coax an orgasm out of you with a few more touches, a big smile spreading across his face.

“There we go, sweetie. See, that wasn't so bad, was it?” He coos, unbuttoning his jeans. The sound of the zipper has your eyes widening in horror, and he tuts softly. “What're you giving me that look for? It's your turn to take care of me now.”

There goes the begging and pleading again. It has his brows pinching together as a frown tugs at his lips. You really are his brother's kid. So goddamn ungrateful. He just took care of you, and now you just want him to… what? Fist his dick in the guest room?

He smacks you so hard your head snaps to the side, your breaths coming out in short gasps. You look better like that, tears stinging your eyes but your body completely limp. He can see the fight draining out of your eyes.

“I was gonna be nice.” He mumbles, brows furrowing as he lines his tip up with your entrance, forcing himself inside in one thrust. He groans loudly, shuddering as your tight heat envelops him. His eyes look down, locked onto your cunt as he fucks into you with long strokes. He freezes when he notices blood. He's not sure if he's happy or disgusted that he's your first. No wonder you put up such a fight.

You keep weakly begging him to stop, but your pussy is gushing all over him. It's not his fault he can't stop – you're giving him the hottest look he's ever seen, and your puffy cunt is so fucking greedy for his cock, sucking him back in everytime he starts to pull out.

“S-sorry… I'm so sorry…” He grunts, picking up the pace of his thrusts, groaning at the sound of your punched out moans as he drives into you with as much force as he can muster. You almost sound like you're enjoying it, but you're still fucking crying and he can't take it. His heart hurts.

“Baby, please…” He whispers, squeezing his eyes shut so he doesn't have to see the betrayal on your face. His arms tremble as he holds himself up, sloppily fucking into you. “I'm sorry… just stop cryin’, please…”

Every time his hips smack the fat of your ass, you're moaning out a ‘please’. With his eyes shut, he can pretend you're begging for more. That you like this. That is, until you start saying ‘stop’. He winces, but the movement of his hips doesn't falter.

“Fuck, baby… please stop begging.” He pleads, throwing his head back as his tip kisses your cervix. He whimpers as it makes you tighten around him, angling his thrusts to hit that spot each time he fully sheaths himself inside of you.

“I-I can't stop…you feel so… fuck. So fucking good. M'so close.” He groans. He can't even find the strength to pull out anymore. He buries himself balls deep in your cunt, grinding himself into your tight heat.

“L-Leon… please.” You say weakly, chest heaving with heavy breaths as panic sets in, your hands pushing at his chest. “Y-you gotta pull out, you can't… you can't.”

“What?” He breathes out, cracking his eyes open to look at you again. He looks genuinely confused. Why would he ever pull out when you felt so good? He can't bring himself to. “Baby, no. I'm cumming inside of you. Can't pull out now.”

That seems to bring your fight back. You start struggling under him again, punching him with all your strength. Luckily, that's not a lot. Especially when you're sluggish from your first time drinking and getting fucked. It's Leon's lucky day.

“Shit, baby. Don't look at me like that.” Or do. He's gonna cum if you keep staring up at him with that wide-eyed expression. “No need to be so scared, princess. I just… shit. Can't help myself.”

Doesn't take longer than a minute after that for him to finish. He buries his face in your neck, whining as he cums. His cock kicks inside of you, the warmth of his release filling every inch of you. You start sobbing all over again, slumping weakly against the couch.

He lies on top of you, his weight pressing you down into the couch. He pets your hair like you're a doll, his fingers carding through your hair.

“I'm sorry, baby. Forgive me. I'll be so good. Do whatever you want. Didn't mean it.” He murmurs, kissing your cheek over and over as if he's trying to get you to relax. He keeps it up until you fall asleep, wrapping you up in his arms.

When you wake up in the morning, you're fully dressed in your bed. You almost think it's a dream until you feel the dull throbbing between your legs.

[moonlinos]

It’s so tasty, come and chase me

♡ Pairing: Hwang Hyunjin × fem!reader

♡ CW: Explicit sexual content (minors dni!), fingering, unprotected sex, creampie, mentions of food

♡ Word count: 2.3k

♡ Synopsis: It’s your first birthday with Hyunjin as your boyfriend, and he wants to give you the best day since you were born. He racks his brain, wondering what’s the perfect way to impress you, and ultimately settles on surprising you with a homemade birthday cake. That’s romantic, right? Too bad you accidentally ruin his plans in the best way possible.

♡ A/N: Based off a request by anon (happy birthday! 🩷) Title from Red Velvet’s Ice Cream Cake bc we all know that song ain’t about cake. I quickly wrote this to try and get out of my writing slump, and I think it worked lol so I’ll hopefully be able to start posting other longer stories and requests in a couple of weeks 🧚‍♀️

You and Hyunjin began dating exactly two hours after your birthday.

Being acquaintances for long due to being in the same friend group, he’d been a part of your birthday celebrations for a few years. But you were never really that close — he’d always been too shy to approach you, and you spent an awfully long time thinking he hated your guts. It was a drunken confession that made you both realize the mutual crush you had been hiding for far too long.

Hyunjin cursed himself inwardly for taking so long to properly ask you out. He sat with your friends and discussed birthday plans with you, then watched as you enjoyed your surprise party. He had a pout on his lips throughout the entire night, desperately wishing he could openly hold and kiss you in front of your friends. The silly secret you both had decided to keep from them until things were official between you drove him to the brink of insanity. You two were skirting around the big question for a while, and it wasn’t until Hyunjin’s veins were flowing with quite a lot of Soju that he finally mustered up the courage to do it.

Only he was too late — it was already 2 a.m, and no longer your birthday.

“You’ll have to put up with me for another year if you really wanna be my boyfriend on my birthday,” you told him with a grin.

Hyunjin was determined to make your first birthday together as a couple unforgettable, even through simple gestures. These two days were incredibly meaningful to him; the day you were born and the day he finally got to call you his, one after the other.

Too bad the universe seems to love conspiring against him.

He put on his best near-death voice and faked coughs over the phone, trying to convince you he was sick. You were understandably worried, but he assured you he would be fine after taking some medicine. He needed alone time to figure out how to bake a cake, and your presence would be a tempting distraction.

Hyunjin was halfway through frosting your cake for the third time when the sound of his door being unlocked made him jump.

Perhaps it wasn’t the universe’s animosity towards him after all, but rather his own stupidity for not remembering that you had the code to his door lock.

He stood there motionless, feeling like a teenager who had been caught doing something wrong, his hand clutching the spatula tightly as you eyed him with confusion. You raised a brow at him.

“Weren’t you dying?”

“Why are you here?” Hyunjin all but whines, and you close the door behind you with a chuckle.

“I’m here because you told me you were dying,” you explain. “Why the fuck are you frosting a cake?” He doesn’t answer, and after a beat and a half, you grasp the situation and your mouth falls open. “It’s for my birthday, isn’t it?”

Hyunjin drops the spatula on the counter with a loud clink. “No.”

“Shut the fuck up.” You grin at the sight before you. “That’s so cute.”

“It’s not for your birthday,” He insists, promptly removing his apron. “I lost a bet and owe Seungmin a cake.”

You roll your eyes. “Hyunjin, you’re a terrible liar.”

“Fine,” He grumbles, glaring at the lumpy, messy frosting spread on the cake. He was so sure he was nailing it this time, but the more he looks at it, the more it looks borderline inedible. “I wanted to surprise you, be like super boyfriend material and bake your birthday cake myself. Turns out I’m fucking awful at it.”

“It’s not that bad…” Your voice trails off, the telltale rise in pitch whenever you lie betraying you. Hyunjin shoots you a glance, narrowing his eyes. “Okay, so it is a little crooked, and the frosting is a bit clumpy but I can fix that—”

He cuts you off, drawing out your name with a pout. “No, I’m the one who’s supposed to make you a pretty cake. It’s your special day, I should be the one doing things for you.”

“It’s not my birthday till midnight,” you argue, tossing your bag onto the floor and gently nudging Hyunjin to the side, making room for you on his counter. “Let me help.”

You take the spatula in your hands, ignoring Hyunjin’s loud protests and trying your best to smooth out the thick layer of frosting Hyunjin had spread onto the cake. Your brows knit together in concentration as your boyfriend continues to grumble beside you, eventually moving his nagging to the counter behind you. You hear the water running and the clinking of dishes as you finally start making progress, before Hyunjin’s hands are gripping your hips and pushing you against the counter.

You furrow your brows, ready to complain about him disrupting you, but he’s pressing his lips to your neck before you can mutter out a word. Hyunjin’s breath as he mumbles against your skin tickles you, your body instinctively jolting, causing your hand to slip and mess up the frosting (again).

“Hyunjin,” you berate him, and his only response is to hum. “This frosting is already borderline unusable, if you—”

“Hey!” He snaps, and you can hear the pout on his voice. “Don’t insult my frosting.”

“Then stop disrupting me.”

Hyunjin shakes his head, his body pressing against yours.

“You’re the one who ruined my surprise,” he corrects you, “So if you wanna decorate this cake so badly, you’ll have to do it while I disrupt you,” he mimics your voice. You roll your eyes while a huff of amusement slips from your lips.

“Be my guest,” you shrug.

Hyunjin simply buries his face in the crook of your neck, his lips curling into a grin against your skin and igniting a smile on your own face. You bite the inside of your cheek, turning your focus back to the disastrous cake. But your smile only widens at the sight of the decorations thrown around on the countertop; heart-shaped sprinkles, various candles and your favorite candies. The image of Hyunjin clumsily following a recipe, his pretty face dusted in flour, making frosting from scratch simply to make your birthday cake more special has your heart swelling with love.

But just as you spread more frosting on the cake, your concentration is shattered by the sudden touch of Hyunjin’s hand sliding under your skirt and into your panties.

“Excuse me?”

“I told you I was gonna disrupt you,” he shrugs, pressing a chaste kiss to your shoulder. “But I’m sure it won’t work. You’re too focused on the cake, anyway.”

You scoff. Hyunjin really is such a menace when he wants to be — no wonder you spent such a long time thinking he hated you. Little did you know that behind his teasing and cold exterior lay such a sweet and sensitive man.

He remained still for a while, his hand nonchalantly cupping your cunt while he watched you try your best to make the cake look presentable.

“You missed a spot,” he points out, one single finger gliding along your folds. You hiss.

“Fuck off.”

Hyunjin chuckles, the digit now teasing your already slick entrance. You wait for a minute, then two, then three, but he remains still. Tightening your hold on the spatula, you buck your hips toward his hand, willing him to do something.

But he doesn’t, resting his chin on your shoulder with a lazy sigh instead.

“Is this your best attempt at disrupting me?”

He hums. “Focus on the cake, baby. Weren’t you so excited about fixing it?”

You can tell he is undoubtedly a bit upset at you. This cake was his birthday surprise to you, after all. You had essentially fucked it up, taking over the task without him even asking you for help.

So you nod slowly, turning your face to shoot him a small smile. “Can you help me? It’ll be better if we do it together.”

A grin tugs at the corner of his lips, and his finger finally pushes into you, your walls immediately clenching around it.

“I’d love to help you.”

With his other hand, Hyunjin scrambles with the sprinkles packet before finally tearing it open. Cursing under his breath, he watches some of the red and pink hearts escape from the packaging and scatter across the counter. You’re ready to tease him, but a moan swallows your voice as his finger curls inside you, pressing against the spot that has you almost dropping the spatula onto the cake.

Your hands grip the counter as another finger slips inside of you, then a third, all while Hyunjin casually dusts a handful of sprinkles over the white frosting. You could feel yourself leaking around his fingers, the heel of his palm grazing over your clit, and your vision goes slightly blurry watching how the heart shapes cascade from his hand onto the cake.

“I think those candies would look nice with the sprinkles, don’t you think?” Hyunjin asks, his breath brushing against the shell of your ear, causing goosebumps to ripple across your entire body. You simply nod, too focused on the way his fingers stretch you, igniting a wildfire inside your chest with each pump of his wrist. “Could you grab the bag for me, baby?”

You nod and mindlessly reach out in front of you, until your eyes land on the bag sitting across the counter, just barely out of reach. You stretch out your fingers, but Hyunjin circles your waist with his left arm and pulls you flush against his body before you can get a hold of it.

“Hyunjin,” you whine, feeling the warmth of his chest as it rumbles against your back with a chuckle.

“Grab the bag for me, hm?”

You let out a shuddering breath and reach out toward the candy package, your body bending over the marble counter, the thick outline of Hyunjin’s cock pressing against your ass. As soon as your trembling fingers wrap around the bag, his hand leaves your cunt and pushes your soaked panties to the side.

He slides his length along your folds, hovering over your body, the swollen head of his cock catching against your clit evoking a heavy sigh from your lips.

“Go on,” Hyunjin prompts, “Let’s finish decorating your cake.”

Clumsily, you pull yourself up, forearms resting against the counter as you tear the bag open. With shaky hands, you slowly tip the bag over, lightly sprinkling the colorful candies across the cake. Until Hyunjin rolls his hips forward, plunging into you. Your breath catches in your throat as he fills you with his thick length, pumping into you in full force, causing your body to writhe in his arms and sending candies flying out of the bag, scattering across the cake and countertop.

“Fuck, Hyunjin,” you grunt when his hand slides down your body to trace circles around your swollen clit. “The ca- the fucking cake.”

Hyunjin lets out a hearty laugh before pressing his lips to your neck, sucking the skin between his teeth, each thrust of his hips slamming your body against the counter. Your eyes flutter closed, a haze of lust wrapping around you while your climax ripples through your body. Hyunjin shudders as your cunt clenches around him, squeezing as he hastily rams into you, his grip on your waist tightening with each stroke.

“Gonna come,” he rasps in your ear, grabbing a handful of your hair and tugging your head back to look at him, his eyes completely clouded over. “Where do you want it?”

“Inside,” you whimper, barely registering the way your fingers graze across the forgotten cake when you feel his cock twitch at your words. He mutters a string of curses through clenched teeth before flooding you with his warmth.

You slowly catch your breaths, Hyunjin pressing light kisses across your face with a contented hum as his cock slowly softens inside of you.

And then both your eyes land on the cake.

Somehow, the sprinkles melted, leaving behind a garish kaleidoscope of colors, and the candies adorned more of Hyunjin’s counter than the cake itself. The already sloppy-looking cake had three lines running across it, and the sticky white frosting clinging to your fingertips serves as undeniable evidence of your guilt. You grimace, mentally bracing yourself for the disappointed look in Hyunjin’s eyes.

Instead, his loud laughter you love so much echoes in your ears.

“That’s so fucking ugly,” he slurs between giggles.

You frown, turning to look at him, watching tears gather in his lashes as his laughter slowly fades away. He presses a kiss to your agape lips, wrapping both arms around your body before resting his forehead against yours.

“I love it,” he assures you after taking in your befuddled expression. “We made it together. Plus, we had a lot of fun doing it, yeah?” He grins before crashing his lips against yours again.

Your birthday party was the same as it has been for a couple of years; just you and your friend group gathered around your apartment’s rooftop. Except this year, you had the pleasure of watching people’s bewildered looks as they glanced at your birthday cake, proudly displayed on a plastic folding table.

“The fuck is that cake?” Jeongin asked, and Hyunjin burst out laughing as soon as the words left your friend’s lips.

After singing happy birthday, you were surprised to find that the cake — although an assault on the eyes — tasted quite good. You were quick to praise Hyunjin, who sheepishly admitted to using a store-bought box cake mix.

A while later, you two discreetly escaped the chatter and laughter from your friends. While you watched the stars, Hyunjin’s attention was fixated on the passing seconds on his phone. He counted down from five, and at the stroke of midnight, he pressed his lips to yours, smiling into the kiss.

“Happy one year together,” he whispered against your lips.

“Congratulations for putting up with me,” you beamed, and Hyunjin feigned an exasperated sigh, his lips curling into a grin.

“Can’t believe I’ll have to go through that again if I want to be your boyfriend on your birthday next year.”

♡ taglist: @bloom-ings, @linocz, @farahia, @mirbokk, @jisunglyricist, @jazziwritesthings, @seungseung-minmin, @yourcvndx, @hynjinnnnnnnie, @vlctorriaa, @yongbokkiesworld, @kiensecent, @redstayrosie, @binniesbabygirl, @pynchkilledme

[emeritusemeritus]

Squirm, Hellfire Queen [Eddie Munson X Reader]

Title: Squirm, Hellfire Queen.

Pairing: Eddie Munson X Reader {Established Relationship}

Timeline: S4, No mention of Vecna.

Summary: You’re a little uncomfortable at Hellfire Club and Eddie investigates.

Warnings: Mentions of smut, creampies, cum, cumplay, secret relationships. Swearing (it’s Eddie after all). Dustin being my favourite character to write once again. I don’t think ‘Freak’ is mentioned but it’s my own HC that he’s called Richard, in case that comes up. Not beta read nor spellchecked, we die like Chrissy.

"Dude, you okay?" Dustin asks, leaning over the table towards you, earning an immediate glare from the dungeon master from interrupting the game. Dustin holds up his hands in surrender sarcastically, falling back into his seat and focusing his attention back on the game, all under the watchful eye of the seemingly omniscient dungeon master.

A few minutes pass before you move again, adjusting your hips in your seat as you wince subconsciously, earning you another confused glance from Gareth, sitting directly across from you.

"You saw it too? Right!" Dustin speaks out again, clicking his fingers mid air as he turns to you with a questioning gaze.

Heat rushes to your cheeks as you feel a blush bloom over your face at the attention you were unwittingly receiving. You shake your head, trying not to meet anyone's gaze, pretending to focus all of your attention at the game, analysing your character sheet to study your hit points.

You attempt to keep yourself under control, not to draw any more attention to yourself then you have already but only a few moments later your eyes close and you suck in a silent breath, fighting every instinct you have not to squirm in your seat.

Your writhing and obvious discomfort had caught the attention of the dungeon master sat at the head of the table, his gaze focusing in on you as he watches your curious movements. You can feel his gaze blazing on you and so you finally find the courage to look up at him, meeting his gaze.

You thought initially that he would be angry with you, for drawing away attention from his, frankly brilliant, campaign but as you gazed in his eyes, it was clear that not a single ounce of anger was present. Instead, he looked upon with intense curiosity and intrigue, eyes wide and orientated upon your figure. The table blocked the majority of his view of you, but he watched with interest as you readjusted your hips in your seat, pulling down on your skirt, full lips parted in a small 'o' shape, eyes fixed on nothing in the distance.

When you met his eyes again, your blush deepened, eyes widening like a deer in headlights as you tried to avert your gaze immediately. A smirk tugged at the side of his mouth as he realised exactly what was happening. He took a brief look around at his little sheep around him, each of them blissfully ignorant of what was happening just a few seats down.

"Eddie?" Mike asks gently, trying to get his attention.

"Huh?" Eddie asks, not realising that he had zoned out, lost in his own thoughts.

"We decide to flee," Mike says slowly, gesturing with his eyes to look at the game board below, seeing that there was so way out of the trap Eddie had created.

"Oh yeah man, course," Eddie says, earning a mixture of questioning and confused glances from the boys, and girl, around the table, each of them expecting him to make a bigger deal of it.

"Tell you what, we hang it up right here, next week we begin from this point exactly and you give me your intelligent decision then," Eddie says, clasping his hands together as he sits back on his throne, eyes squinting as he smirks.

"Princess, a word?" Eddie says, using your nickname as he looks directly at you. You nod, silently, laughing gently as the rest of the boys 'ooo' at you, assuming you are in trouble.

They quickly gather their belongings, saying bye to the dungeon master and the princess as they head out the door, leaving the rest of the cleanup to Eddie as usual.

Once he is confident that everyone has dispersed, the dungeon master leaps up from his throne and strides over to the door, locking it from the inside. He turns and fixes his dangerous gaze upon you, a smug smirk pulling at his lips as he begins to saunter over to you.

"It appears you caused a scene Princess," he says threateningly, running his hands along the back of your chair. You open your mouth to apologise but think better of it, no longer feeling embarrassed by your 'issue' now you were alone with the perpetrator.

"I'm not really the one to blame here am I, master?" You snark back, your voice breathy and deep, exactly how you knew he liked it. He cursed under his breath, especially at hearing his title, something he always enjoyed hearing fall from your lips.

"Pray tell, what is causing the fair maidens troubles?" He asks dramatically, leaning down to tower over you, his lips ghosting you neck as he speaks. You were about to open your mouth with another sarcastic reply but instead, decided to show him. You scooted your chain back every so slightly, the chair grinding on the linoleum floor the only sound that could be heard in the silent room.

His gaze immediately fixes on the skin of your thighs, your skirt riding up as you took your seat.

With a dangerously flirty smirk, you open your legs wide enough for him to see exactly what has been causing your discomfort during the hellfire session, your skirt riding even further up with your movement, blocking any obstruction.

He breaths in a sharp breath, curses falling from his lips as his eyes bulge, his gaze fixated on the space between your thighs, showing him exactly what your problem was.

Between your thighs, your panties were completely soaked, melded to your puffy pussy lips, with extra wetness leaking out onto the seat below you, pooling under your butt.

He's frozen to the spot, fixated on the sight before him, unable move, unable to speak.

"Seems like it's more of an 'us' problem to me, dungeon master," you tease, lifting your hand to run one finger over your panties and into the little pool below, feeling the mixture of your arousal and his cum beneath your finger.

"Jesus Christ," is all he manages to spit out, his eyes following your finger diligently as it trails gently over your panties, still sensitive from your activities earlier.

One of the most wonderful things about Eddie is just how much he cums. It's like he's hoarding it, right up until the last second where he unleashes everything he has, flooding you and leaving no doubt to where he's been.

"No wonder you were squirming sweetheart," he says, finally breaking his gaze to look up into your eyes, seeing a smile on your lips that completely knocks him for six. The mixture of your sweet smile, deliciously used body and evidence of his defilement was enough to render him completely useless, brain turning to mush as he looks at you with all the love and adoration he can. His tone is gentle again, using the pet name he favoured for sweet moments, if that was what you would call this. "To think I was going to ask you to stand and address the class," he smirks, shaking his head slightly.

"Yeah something tells me that would have been a disaster, I could barely keep your load in sitting down!" You reply, giggling. His lips part and his eyebrows shoot up as he lets out a strangled groan at your words, your beautiful, dirty mouth always affecting him. "You think the guys noticed?" You asked suddenly, worrying that someone would have caught on to your discomfort.

No one knew what was happening, what had been happening, between you and Eddie for quite some time. You'd been best friends from your first encounter, though the friendship was laced with innuendos, teasing, flirtation and downright mutual pining right from the very beginning. Your relationship had bloomed organically, never having felt so right, but it was locked away as both of your dirty little secrets. You'd become close with all the hellfire club and the bigger friendship group around it and were concerned about the implication it could have on your friendships if you just became 'Eddie's girl'.

You'd been successfully hiding your relationship for nearly 7 months and so far, not a single person had caught on.

"Sweetheart, I say this with all the love and devotion in the world, those guys wouldn't have a single clue about this sort'a thing," he smirks, leaning in to kiss you.

"Two of them have girlfriends!" You reply, breaking away, trying to argue the point. He snorts, shaking his head, leaning in for another kiss.

"Trust me baby, they're clueless nerds," he says with a sarcastic smile.

"As opposed to you... dungeon master," you reply sarcastically. He immediately reaches out to grab you, tickling your sides but he stops when you let out a strangled gasp, thinking he'd hurt you.

"What, baby, wh-?" He panics, causing you to laugh.

"Lets just say, I'm pretty sure I'm empty now," you blush, gesturing down to the chair below you where even more of Eddie's cum has leaked out in your frantic movements. He bites back a groan again at the scene before him and immediately looks up at you with a smirk.

"Can't have that can we sweetheart? Just gonna have to fill you up aaaall over again."

"Promises, promises," you smirk, pulling him down for one last kiss, before attempting to stand up, your face twisting into a grimace as you do. Eddie offers his hand out for you and helps you up onto the seat, his eyes flicking to your now unoccupied chair and he tries to fix the image to his memory for later use.

"We really need to start using condoms," you mutter, feeling the sticky residue clinging to your lower half, frowning at the state of the chair. You were on the pill, so no risk there, but situations like this were growing ever more frequent... and uncomfortable.

"Blasphemy!" Eddie mutters, pulling you in to him arms as his ringed hand comes to play with your hair and your jaw. You laugh sweetly at his outburst and he chuckles deeply to himself as his eyes wonder over your face.

You both pull away and immediately set to packing away all the game pieces, books and sheets that litter the table, both ready to be out of this room.

You grimace as you walk over to a cabinet at the side of the room, the wet clothes becoming increasingly uncomfortable as you bend down to reach for a pack of antibacterial wipes which are stored in the little cleaning cupboard. You make quick work of cleaning up the chair you'd defiled and can't help but laugh with Eddie as he sees just how many wipes it takes to clean it up.

Throwing the used wipes in the trash, you look over to Eddie who has packed everything into his cardboard box and is waiting for you.

You pause, weighing up your options before bending down and peeling off the wet panties, feeling an immediately chill as your bare pussy hides underneath your skirt. Eddie doesn't bother to hide his groan as he sees you take off your panties, before stuffing them inside your lunch bag so that they wouldn't ruin any of your notes.

"You're telling me, I've got to walk these halls, get across the car park and drive us all the way home, knowing that there's nothing under your little skirt?" He groans, pulling you towards him as you walk closer. You immediately feel the telling bulge pressed against you as he holds you tightly to him, causing you to smirk.

"That depends," you tease, running your fingers over his neck, making his breathing deeper and shaky with arousal.

"On what, Princess?" He asks, eyes blazing.

"We could wait... tease each other slowly and let it simmer until we get back to your trailer where you can have me however and wherever you want," you tease, your mouth pressing kisses to his throat as you speak, smiling as you feel his bulge jumping and throbbing at your hip. "Or, I could offer you some relief right now..." you say, pouting your lips in such a way that he knows exactly what you mean. "Though, if you can't wait, I can't promise that I can wait till we get home to play with my little pussy myself."

"Fuck," he curses, followed by a near painful groan as he takes in your words, his entire body shaking to try and calm himself. He reaches down to adjust himself completely without subtlety and groans again at the slightest touch. "Van. Now."

[jackoshadows]

It's so confusing and weird that Bridgerton introduced in world racism both with Lady D and Simon in season one of the show and in Queen Charlotte and at the same time they also want the audience to accept that somehow Marina Thompson or the dark skinned Indian Kate Sharma has more privilege and power than Penelope Featherington?

Kate Sharma was also poor, so much more than the Featheringtons. She depended on Lady D to host them. The Sharmas were looked down on by the ton because Mary Sheffield married an Indian. The Sharmas were disowned and ostracized by the Sheffields.

Kate was also an unmarried spinster. No one was asking Kate to dance. As much as Kate wanted love and romance and to dance at a ball wearing pretty dresses, she got none of that. She was also the woman on the sidelines watching as others danced and fell in love.

Racism and colorism is also very much a thing in eurocentric notions of beauty considering the setting and characters of Bridgerton is 99% white.

We got so little of Kate's backstory, of who her parents where - we didn't even get their names!! - of the trauma (explained for both Simon and Anthony using flashbacks) that had Kate overlooking her own happiness for that of her sister.

Despite bragging nonstop about the diversity of Bridgerton the showrunners thought that the white Featheringtons needed more screentime in season 2 rather than the South Asian family.

And Kate was planning on going back to India and work as a governess to pay for her livelihood. Because, you know, there's more honest ways of being a 'working woman' than running the equivalent of the regency 'Daily Mail' dragging other women down. The modiste Madame Delacroix, Kate planning to teach and Sienna in season one are all working to pay a living. Black, brown and lower class women looking to alleviate poverty.

And considering how much harder Kate already had it as an outsider in the ton, it wouldn't have been easy with Penelope using her gossip rag to describe the unmarried Indian woman as ' a Spinster of a beast'. What did Kate do to Penelope to warrant this? Nothing. Just a way for Penelope to make money at Kate's expense.

That's the thing I dislike the most about the way the character of Penelope is written on the show - her victims don't deserve her vitriol and are often in much worse circumstances than her. From Kate Sharma to the unnamed seamstress who apparently lost all her customers because Penelope wrote falsely about their work in the her tabloid as a bribe for Madam Delacroix.

And I think that's what I find problematic about the writing of the show and even the discourse surrounding it - when characters like Marina Thompson (the poor black cousin who would have ended up destitute on the streets because of Penelope) and Kate Sharma arguably have it far worse than Penelope Featherington as per the show's writing and yet we are supposed to have the most sympathy for Penelope because her crush Colin didn't love her back and she's a curvy white woman?

I guess that's the difference between how I perceive this world and these characters as a woc and the majority white female audience for this show and it's such a huge disconnect for me. I guess this is also partly because the show has this badly written and 'strangely toothless racism' as Ash Sarkar beautifully put it. As in the racism is treated in this world as a little problem solved by handing out a few titles to black people instead of being a white supremacist ideology which treated black and brown people as inferior, serfs and slaves.

From what little we got from season 2, Kate Sharma definitely did not have it easy navigating the ton as a poor outsider and that certainly contributed to her poor choices. She is also put through the wringer, treated like the other woman, is miserable for several episodes, had to apologize again and again and nearly die before Edwina forgives her!

In contrast Penelope's actions have hurt so many and yet she gets a pass by both the show and a fandom that wants Colin to grovel before her because of a single offhand remark and because he didn't return her affections.

Also making it clear here that I am not comparing Penelope to the male characters who always get the better writing, flaws and all. I am comparing Penelope to the female characters of colour - Kate Sharma and Marina Thompson.

I mean, Marina Thompson gets so much vitriolic and sexist hatred for not having told Colin Bridgerton the truth of her pregnancy. How dare Marina hurt this privileged white man Colin Bridgerton. When she was desperate to not end up destitute on the streets or get raped by old white men. And yet Penelope gets a pass for hurting women like Marina and Kate.

It continues a trend of white female characters never being held to the same standard as female characters of colour. Daphne sexually assaults Simon in season one and that was not even addressed on the show. Male rape is apparently no big deal because Daphne wanting children is what's important. It's Simon who has to apologize and within one episode resolve his trauma and accept being a father. This is despite both Daphne and Penelope having more screentime and more writing that builds their character unlike the stick thin writing given to Kate Sharma in season 2.

So yeah, I will be checking into season 3 to watch the ten minutes we get with Kate Sharma since we got so little of her in her own season and it's so singular to get dark skinned south Indian characters in a period drama romance like this. It's just the way the writing on the show, the production and even the fandom treats it's characters, especially characters of colour has been disappointing to say the least.

[fanficsformyfaves]

Mami Owns You

Rhea Ripley x Fem!Reader

WARNING: SMUT 18+, ANGST, Possessive!Rhea, Friends With Benefits, Confessions, Hickeys (R Receiving), Choking (R Receiving), Degradation and Praise Kink(R Receiving), Oral Sex (Both Receiving), Orgasm Denial (R Receiving), Strap On Sex (R Receiving), Spanking (R Receiving), Mommy Kink

PREFACE: After catching Reader flirting with a backstage staff member, Rhea takes it upon herself to remind Reader who she belongs to

A/N: It's about time I started writing about my wife

After effortlessly pinning Raquel Rodriguez to the ground and finally winning the brutal match, the bells ring and the crowd goes wild.

Rhea and I have been hooking up on and off for a few months now and to say I was tired of the 'just friends' title would've been an understatement.

It was frustrating. She'd treat me like a girlfriend in every regard, besides actually calling me that. She would go on and on about how much she wanted me all to herself, then turn around and sleep with someone else.

In private, I was treated like a princess, but once we weren't, I was a complete stranger.

Was it fair? No, but...I couldn't really complain. After all, she is amazing in bed. Don't get me wrong, she's an incredible athlete, but she was just as skilled in the bedroom.

It also didn't hurt that she was also the hottest woman I've ever seen. From her beautiful porcelain skin to her brilliantly blue eyes and strong figure, I was foolish for thinking I wouldn't come running back for more.

So to see the champion herself walk out of the arena drenched in sweat and smiling from ear to ear, I was soaked.

She finally makes it backstage and Dom rushes into her ready arms.

"You crushed it!"

"Thank you, darling", she joked,

Before looking over and catching me eyeing her up from the snack table.

"I'll be back", she says,

Letting go off him and making her way over to where I was. She pretended to browse through the snacks, when in reality, she was side-eyeing the little skirt I threw on just for her.

"(Y/N)", she nonchalantly greeted,

"Rhea, didn't anyone ever tell you that staring was rude?", I teased,

"Well, when you look this good", she mumbled,

Staring right into my eyes.

It was just loud enough for me to hear and cause my cheeks to heat up. I hated how easily flustered me.

"Good enough to come over later?"

"Sorry, plans", she dismissed,

Before walking back over to Dom and getting her things packed. I couldn't help but roll my eyes.

Just as all hope was lost, one of the new backstage assistants walked in. That's when a delicious little plan presented itself on a silver platter.

"Hi", I greeted with a beaming smile.

I could tell he was shocked by the way his eyes widened.

"Hello, miss (Y/L/N)"

"Oh, please, there's no need for formalities, call me (Y/N)"

"Alright", chuckled nervously.

Poor guy. I knew it was wrong, but I had to do what I had to do.

"Are you one of the new assistants?"

"Yes"

"Oh, darn. Never mind", I baited,

About to walk off, when he stops me.

"Wait"

Before turning around, I notice Rhea occasionally glancing over at us, obviously tuning into the conversation.

"Why do you ask?", he questioned,

"Oh, well...I just thought you were really cute and wanted to ask if you were free tonight"

In that moment, Rhea's head whipped in our direction.

"Oh", he blushed,

"But, I understand it's unprofessional, so-"

"Well, technically, I'm just a temp, so, I don't really work here", he reassures,

"Really?", I faked my enthusiasm.

By this time, Rhea was already marching towards us.

"Well, then, would you like to get drinks with me?"

"I would love to-"

"She's busy", Rhea cuts the conversation short,

Grabbing my arm and hauling me out of the room.

"Not gonna happen", I hear Dom tell the assistant.

I couldn't help but bite back a smile, as she lead me all the way to the parking lot.

"I thought you had plans?"

"They're cancelled. Get in the car", she ordered,

Opening the passenger door for me. Even whilst livid, she was still a courteous. I take the seat and she slams the door shut. I was really in for a long night.

The car ride was silent and tense. Her hands gripped the wheel so hard, her knuckles turned paler than they already were.

Once we arrived at the house she was renting, I unbuckled my seatbelt and she opens my car door, dragging my by my wrist this time. As harsh as the grasp she had on my wrist was, it only added to the excitement.

The moment we reached inside, she pins me to the door by my throat.

"You think you're cute with the little stunt you pulled?"

"I don't know-" I struggled when she cuts me off,

"Do not...bullshit me", she warned,

Leaning in closer. Her breath ghosting against my bottom lip.

"You really think there's a person on earth that can make you feel as good as I do? Make you scream their name the way only I can?"

"No", I mumbled,

"No, what? Don't tell me you've forgotten your manners"

"No...Mami"

A wicked grin tugs her lips, before they crash against mine.

This kiss felt different. Like she had something to prove. It was filled with passion, fire and a desperation I'd never seen before.

Her free hand pulls me in closer, as she shoved a knee between my legs and pressed against my already pulsing core. I let out a soft gasp that causes her to pull away.

"Needy slut, aren't you? I just fucked you stupid earlier this morning and you still want more? You're as greedy as you are pathetic", she teased,

"Please, Mami, I need more!", I whined.

She lets go of my neck and grabs a fistful of my hair, yanking my head backwards.

"You'll get more when I think you've earned it"

Her words muffled against the skin of my throat.

She then takes me upstairs to her room and throws me against the edge of the bed. She's man-handled me before, but this was something else entirely.

"Stay", she ordered.

I sit myself on the foot of the bed, watching her tower over me.

"Clothes. Off"

I complied and began to strip. Unbeknownst to her, I'd forgone my underwear long before her match even started.

"Good girl, I see you are capable of following instructions"

I couldn't help but blush at her praise.

She then grabs me by the chin, forcing me to look back up at her.

"Keep your eyes on me. I want you take in every second of me destroying you"

I swallowed hard. It was only in that moment when the realization of what I'd done truly hit me. I was in real trouble this time.

She gets down on her knees and spreads my legs apart, just staring at my slick mess. I swore I heard her growl at the sight.

"I haven't even touched you yet and you're already this wet?"

"Y-Yes, Mami. Only for you", I stumbled over my words,

"Now, that's what I like to hear"

Not wanting to waste anymore time torturing me, she dives right in, licking up my wetness and making me cry out at the contact.

"You've always been so sweet"

Her voice vibrates against me.

My hand go to grab at the roots of her raven hair and she immediately pulls away to pin my hands on either side of me.

"Did I give you permission to touch me, whore?"

"I'm sorry-"

"You will be if you keep disobeying me, princess"

That god damn nickname and the things it does to me.

"Are you going to be good for me or not?"

"I will, Mami", I whined.

She smiles once more, before continuing her efforts on my bundle of nerves. Her skilled tongue rubbing firm circles over and over again.

I feel her fingers trace up and down my entrance, making my own grip the sheets beneath me. I was already growing restless and weaker.

Eventually, two digits slip into me with ease and I cry out in relief. As they pumped themselves in and out of me, she made sure to focus pressing on my sweet spot.

I could feel my walls begin to clench around her and she laughs.

"So soon? Pitiful. Good thing you won't cum till I say so"

I whimpered amidst my moans. She was reveling in my misery and I knew it. She began to pick up momentum and her strokes grew faster and harder.

My climax was just mere moments ahead and just as I was about to tumble over the edge, she pulls away, leaving me empty and breathless.

"Mami, please-"

"You're in no position to make any demands, darling. I'm in charge", she reminded,

Getting back on her feet.

She grabs my chin and shoved her fingers into my gapping mouth.

"Suck"

I do as she says, looking up into her mischievous eyes.

"Do you taste yourself?"

I nod.

She replaces her fingers and leans down to press her lips against mine. Her teeth tugging at my bottom lip and releasing it with a pop.

"Stay here"

She walks over to the closet and rummages through the clothes, till she takes out a black velvet box and makes her way back over to me.

"I think my brat's earned a treat"

She pulls the lid back and reveals a strap on. She's used one on me before, but this one was...much bigger.

"T-This won't fit"

"Aw, darling don't worry...I'll make it fit"

A chill ran up my spine in anticipation.

She reaches for the bottom of her shirt and yanks it off the top of her head, revealing her ample breasts. I let out a breathless sigh, desperately trying to hold on to the little bit of my sanity I had left.

"Like what you see?", she questions,

Grabbing my hands and making them squeeze her mounds. Her head falls back, as my thumbs worked on her hardening buds.

She releases my wrists and gets to unbuttoning her jeans, before pulling them down along with her underwear. It was now made apparent to me that she was enjoying this just as much as I was.

"Can I please taste you, Mami?", I pleaded,

"Well, since you asked so nicely"

I chewed at my bottom lip and licked all the way done her chiseled abdomen. My hands finding the small of her waist and holding onto each side, as her fingers intertwined themselves in my locks.

The moment I smelled her sweet scent, I could no longer hold myself back. I wanted to be good for her and I wanted to do it now.

I dip my head down and immediately wrap my lips around her sensitive clit, watching the woman before me slightly buckle at the sensation.

With each passing groan that fought its way out of her, I sped up my ministrations and just savored how good she looked. So lost in pleasure that she was already starting to sweat.

"Fuck!", she moaned out.

Once I notice her legs begin to shake, I slip my fingers into her warm cavern and press down on the spot that had her gripping onto my head for dear life, whilst cursing my name.

Within a few minutes of ramming my digits into her, she came undone, squeezing around them. Crying out like a wolf in heat, she pulls my head back to look down at my moist chin.

"So fucking good for me", she wiped off the glisten and sucked her thumb clean.

"On your hands and knees, love", she sighed,

Watching me get into her favorite position. All I could focus on was the sound of her stepping completely out of her pants and into the harness, before fastening it tight around her hips.

She then shuffles onto the bed, taking a hold of my waist with one hand and using the free one to rub the tip of the toy up and down my ready slit.

"Who owns this cunt?"

"You, Mami"

"That's right. Mami owns you"

And in one swift movement, she finally impales me, ripping a scream from the back of my throat.

The toy filling me to the hilt, as she wrapped the ends of my hair around her tight fist.

"There she is. My cute little fuck toy", she grunted between each hard thrust.

I was already seeing stars from how rough she was being with me. She wasn't exactly the gentle type, but this night was just primal. Pure carnal lust and nothing short of it.

The relentless pace of her hips slamming into me was brutal and quick, like she was chasing a high of her own.

I could only imagine just how much I pissed her off this time.

As her tip repeatedly pounded into my sweet spot, I found myself attempting to pull away, as it was all getting far too much far too soon.

But alas, my efforts fall in vain when she pulled me back up against her damp chest.

"Where do you think you're going, hm? Isn't this what you wanted? For me to fuck your brains out?", she taunted,

"T-Too much, Mami!"

"I don't care. Till I hear that safe word, I'll have my way with you and you're gonna like it", she licks at the shell of my ear,

Biting down on the lobe.

She gripped the flesh of my waist so hard, I was sure to wake with bruises in the shape of crescent moons.

This new angle allowed her to fuck herself up into me and hit new places I never knew existed. I was a wreck and she was enjoying every moment of it.

My orgasm was mere moments away and at the risk of getting denied once more, I begged like my life depended on it.

"M-Mami, please let me cum! Please!"

"Why should I? You've been such a brat today", she challenged,

"Mami, please! I'm sorry, I won't do it again!" I moaned out,

Barely able to speak. I could hear her chuckling at how pathetic I sounded.

"You're all mine, darling. Mami owns you"

She reaches down for my clit and began rubbing vigorously on it.

"Cum for me"

I unraveled with one last scream, as my vision fades to pure white and I fall limp in her arms.

"Oh, don't get too comfortable, sweetness. I'm not done with you yet", she warned,

Flipping me onto my back.

Six rounds and multiple different positions later, we were now well into the early hours of the morning.

She finally pulls out and I whine at the aching emptiness.

"Shhh, baby, it's alright", she soothed,

Pulling me into her arms and laying me down on her chest.

For the first time in the while we've known each other, she didn't rush me out of bed. She simply held me, as I came down from the seemingly never ending euphoria.

"Was it too much?"

"Yes, but, nothing I couldn't handle", I reassured.

The room was now quiet, though it wasn't uncomfortable or awkward.

As a matter of fact, her racing heartbeat being the only thing I could hear, whilst she caressed the expanse of my back was actually quite...comforting.

Though as nice as it was, she eventually did break the silence.

"I love you"

I look up at her wide-eyed.

"What?"

"I love you, (Y/N). I know I should've said it sooner, but I couldn't bring myself to do it"

"Why not?"

She was hesitant, but I needed to hear the reason.

"Rhea", I urged,

Cupping her cheek.

"I was scared you didn't feel the same way"

All this time...

She's loved me all this time. I honestly couldn't tell if I was hallucinating this whole moment and I was almost too scared to find out.

"What made you think I didn't?"

"You're perfect, (Y/N). In every sense of the word and that scared me. I might come off as callous and unafraid, but the thought of ever having to tell you how I truly felt was terrifying"

I was on the verge of tears. I'd never seen her so vulnerable and surrendered.

"Please say something"

I happily sigh through my nose, resting me head against her broad shoulder.

"I love you too, Rhea"

I kissed her again, before laying back down.

"I always have"

[thefaefiction]

In Too Deep. [Tom Hiddleston x Reader]

PAIRING: Tom Hiddleston x Reader GENRE: Smut !! WARNINGS: Age gap, teacher x student relationship, smut, daddy kink, praise, piv sex, choking, degradation if you squint, aftercare, fem!reader, written with a chubbier reader in mind but it's not obvious, also the beginning is rushed SUMMARY: After developing an intense relationship with your English professor Mr. Hiddleston, you both are in too deep to let it go to waste.

A/N: im not gonna lie i had no clue how to actually begin this fic because it's literally just an excuse for me to indulge in my delusions so sorry that the first couple paragraphs are weird and rushed </3 also the school email domain is fake idk if it's real don't pay attention to it LMAO

Your obsession with your English professor was no secret to your friends. Elio, your long term best friend and dormmate, has had to interrupt you from your delusions on more than one occasion which was already one too many -- whether that be purposefully failing a paper to see him after class, wearing a skirt far too short and dropping a pencil in a calculated manner in front of him, or staring at him a little too intently during lectures -- it was becoming a problem.

In the professor's multiple classes of forty-some-odd students, there really were only a few that were delusional enough to believe they could sleep with their teacher. The difference between you and them was that you were patient with your actions and the effects it had on him.

Ultimately your patience paid off, as one Friday you received an ominous email with the heading titled 'Make-up Work' from a particular 'thiddleston@ccu.edu.' In the details, he simply requested your presence at a disclosed location only ten minutes from campus on Sunday. It was not an office nor a dorm, but a house.

It wasn't long before his intentions were made clear when you arrived; his eyes dark with lust and a half buttoned shirt upon opening the door.

"(Y/N)," He welcomed, cocking his head and shutting the door behind you. "Lovely to see you."

"Pleasure's mine," You reply, never breaking eye contact. You slide your coat off and he takes it in his hands, hanging it up for you. You knew where the night was going to end -- inviting a student to talk not just outside of office hours, but in the professor's home, is not something usual.

"I thought we could discuss an appropriate way to help get your grade back up in my class," He begins. His eyes look down for a moment, observing your obviously risqué attire. "Do you have an idea as to what way that might be?"

He was going to make you say it. There was no way around it. Still, you decided to entertain his antics until it was made painfully and obviously clear he was trying to get you to say what you know he wants you to say.

"I think," You start, voice beginning to shake. The confidence you had starting this endeavor was suddenly challenged. "I think one-on-one time is certainly needed." You press your lips together in a line.

He hums, taking an agonizing step closer. He looks down into your eyes, furrowing his brows and letting out a soft laugh. "I'm not dumb, (Y/N)," he retorts. "I know you're a smart girl. You're excellent, actually -- some of the best writing from all of my classes combined." The professor stops, taking a step back to his original position. "So why are you really here?"

A moment of silence.

"You know why," You sheepishly croak out.

"Flatter me by saying it, then." He raises an eyebrow, crossing his arms and waiting for you to speak.

"I want you to fuck me."

With the words already said, there was no going back. Your chest sunk, a feeling of embarrassment creeping up and beginning to eat away at your skin. All of those feelings were put to rest the second your professor spoke: "Was that so hard to ask, love?"

Professor Hiddleston turned on his heel, two fingers signaling you to follow him like a lost puppy. He led you down a long hallway in painful silence, finally twisting the knob to a door that revealed his bedroom. It was sleek and clean, covered in shades of black and gray with no mess dared to be left out.

He shut the door behind you and immediately began unbuttoning his shirt, holding your gaze with his light eyes. "Quickly," He commented. "I don't like waiting."

Your face flushed, embarrassed at his demand. You looked away and lifted the hem of your shirt-

"You will look at me," He orders, finishing the last button. "With how bold you are in my classroom I would've thought you'd take more control," He pokes, smirking. "Who would've thought you're just a shy little girl desperate for attention from her professor?"

Your thighs squeezed together, you're sure it doesn't go unnoticed as he grins the moment it occurs. You lift your top off as he watches, simultaneously beginning to unbuckle his belt. The sound makes you shiver.

"Good girl," He praises. You shiver in response.

As he tosses his belt to the side, you begin sliding your skirt off, letting it fall to the ground and pool at your feet. Your professor mimics with his slacks, walking closer and caressing your cheek. "Bed."

You obey, laying down on his duvet as he crawls up your body, sending shivers down your spine. "Professor-"

"Tom," He corrects. "No need for formalities at this point, yes?"

You blush before continuing. "Tom, are you sure?"

"I've been sure since the first time you tried to tease me in class," He replies. "I don't think you understand that I think about you every fucking night in my bed, about the things I would do if I were just able to have you."

You smile, your confidence returning almost instantly. "You have me, sir."

Tom grunts in the back of his throat, his body towering over you as he tears your underwear off, the cracking of the seams startling you. Immediately his hands find your sex, running his hands over it and around your thighs. His hands diligently run under your back, you arch, giving him easier access to remove your bra.

"God, you're stunning," He whispers before connecting his lips to yours. He pulls on your face, his teeth making contact with your lips and bruising their pink color in moments. As he pulls away, a string of saliva connects your mouths and you squirm beneath him.

Tom sits up and begins removing his boxers. The tent in them is noticeable -- and horrifying. You can tell he's big even without seeing it.

Not like you've thought about it before, though.

Now completely undressed, he puts his hands under your waist and drags you forward with a grunt. His hands dig at the fat of your hips and travel along your plush thighs, a moan escaping your lips as his fingers dance on your skin.

"Does my little girl need her professor's cock?" Tom provokes, sliding his shaft between your folds -- up and down, up and down, up and down.

You whine, nodding eagerly in hopes to get him to just put it in already, but your meek noise wasn't good enough for him. "Use your big girl words, darling." He puts his thumb and pointer finger against your chin, urging you to look at him him; eyes burning through your skull.

"Daddy," You spit out too quick, back arching. "Please, need you inside of me so bad!" The sheer volume of your pleas and the new title takes Tom aback, yet his cock ached with every sultry word you spoke.

"Good girl," He praises, grinning at you beneath him. You watch as he inserts himself, pressing just the head into your heat. You let out a guttural moan, eyebrows furrowing in a lovely mix of pain and pleasure. He begins slowly easing himself into you further, inch by agonizing inch, until he completely bottoms out; releasing a groan as his head lolls back. "God, you feel so good princess," He praises, "Taking me so so well, yeah?"

His words struck a chord within you, forcing a smile on your face. You whimper, brain not being able to form a complete thought at how deep he was inside you and how just damn good it felt. He was much bigger than anyone you'd taken before by a longshot. Your walls clenched around him and he laughed, cock twitching inside of you. He slowly slides back, leaving just the head in, and then pushes forward quickly, earning a loud, needy, moan from your lips. "Look at you, so drunk on me, hm?" He says, pulling back and then ramming himself deep into you, bruising your cervix. "Tell me what you want, doll. What is it you need from daddy?" He teases, never averting his eyes from your gaze.

"Please," You whine, "Need you to to move, need daddy to make me come!" And without hesitation, he picks up the pace, rapidly fucking you while his hands grip the headboard. You can hear it hitting the wall, and suddenly you're glad he has a house instead of an apartment. The noises you're making are obscene, something any practiced Catholic would need to cross themselves after hearing. "Feels so good daddy!" You spit, earning a groan from him.

Tom turned almost animalistic during sex; his grunts sounding more and more like growls as he fucks you brainless. "Fuck!" He moans, taking a hand off of the wood above you. He quickly puts his free hand on your throat, squeezing and forcing your eyes to meet his once again. "Like being choked by daddy, yeah? Like daddy to make you feel powerless, hm?" He smirks, observing the visual pleasure and shock on your face.

You're so close, you can feel yourself on the verge of your orgasm, and his dirty talk was pushing you even closer. The hand on your throat squeezed, and you clenched down on him, causing Tom to curse under his breath. "Want your cum daddy," You squeak out, "Pleasepleaseplease!" You mumble in strands of pleasure.

"Feel so good," He praises. "Come for me, be a good girl and come for daddy, yeah?" He was fucking you hard, and fast, and he still managed to pick up the pace. His skin slapped against your skin, filling the room with hard smacks and grunts and moans; endless strings of 'daddy' and 'good girl' running from both of your lips.

"Want you inside me daddy," You choke out. Your head lolls to the side and bounces against the pillow, a lazy smile forming on your face. "P-please!" You whine.

That pushed Tom over the edge. He was too far lost in himself, leaning down and growling into your ear. "Ask and you shall receive," he teases.

As if on cue, you both come together, the wave of pleasure rushing over you both. You could feel his warmth filling you up, leaking down your heat and spilling onto his bed. "Fuck, Y/n!" He grunts, "Took me so so well little girl."

You couldn't think, let alone speak. Tom stayed inside of you, helping you ride out your orgasm, not wanting the feeling of your sweet sex to leave him. He took his hand off of your throat and stroked the site, soothing the redness with a sultry kiss. You hummed in response, letting your body fall limp. After a few moments, he pulled out.

About three things Tom was absolutely certain: One, he should’ve never become romantically entangled with one of his students. Two, engaging in this behavior put his entire career in jeopardy due to it being wildly illegal. Three, he was, without a doubt in his mind, unconditionally in love with everything about you.

As you laid on his chest, foreheads drenched in sweat and bodies stuck together, you felt more at home than you'd like to admit. One hand messaged your back, drawing figure-eights on your skin, and the other pet your hair, occasionally drawing his lips close to kiss the top of your head. You burrowed your head into him, clinging onto his body. He grinned.

"I should've never let it go this far," Tom said, his voice raspy and deep with post-sex clarity, "but I'm afraid I'm in too deep to give it up now." He let out a low laugh, your head bouncing with his chest.

You smiled. "I'm afraid I wouldn't have been able to return to normal after this," You commented, "and, well, not to be dramatic but having sex with your professor twice your age does things to you." Tom chuckled, looking down at you and tilting your head up to meet his eyes.

"This is all so wrong," He mumbled, furrowing his eyebrows and pressing his lips together, "And yet I wouldn't have it any other way." He pressed a kiss to your lips, the kind of kiss that left a permanent stain of love and lust on your mouth. It was deep, meaningful, and romantic. Tom stared at you, taking in your features and basking in each and every one. "You are breathtaking, darling."

You hid your face in his neck, attempting to suppress the toothy grin you'd almost shown him, however he pulls your head up with his pointer finger and thumb, admiring your rosy cheeks. "Poor baby, so sensitive to my compliments," He jests, letting out a low hum.

You roll your eyes at him. "It's not my fault that daddy somehow knows all of the words that light a fire in me," You emphasize on the word 'daddy,' which forces what sounded like a groan from the back of his throat. "I don't want to go," You admit, falling back into his embrace.

"I know love," He says calmly, stroking your hair and pulling you into him tight. "We can stay like this as long as you'd like, but eventually I'll have to bring you back."

You hum into just chest. "Just a little bit longer," you say to Tom. "I'm still recovering."

⟡

When you arrived back at your dorm, much later than you anticipated, Elio looked at you with an eyebrow raised and a smirk on his face. "Back so soon?"

"Shut up," You laughed, dropping your bag to the ground and kicking off your shoes. You wobbled into the dorm, legs still sore and threatening your balance. Clearly Elio had noticed this, as the first thing he said after greeting you was "Well aren't your movements suspicious," and your cheeks flushed red. "I do not need to explain my late night endeavors and my later night actions," You began, "But,"

"But..?" Elio lead, leaning forward in his seat.

"But." You ended, pressing your lips together with a hidden grin and nodding your head.

"No!" He gasped, smiling widely and clasping his hands, putting his chin on the top of his fingers. "Please tell me everything! Not that I need to know the gory details of your sex life but, like, was he..?" Elio put his hands in front of him, fingers forward, and spread his arms apart.

"Shut up!" You giggled, swatting his hands. "But yes. Yes he was. Very."

"I knew it." He said, shaking his head. "I knew he was packing."

"Not to ruin our gossip but I need to lay down with a heating pad or something because standing is hurting my body," You laughed. "I think that man busted my cervix."

"Okay, TMI," He said, rolling his eyes. "But honestly go get some rest, lord knows you need it for seeing him tomorrow."

You were confused at first, then realized that tomorrow you had Tom for English, and you had absolutely no idea how you were supposed to face him when the night before he had you moaning 'daddy' and railed you into oblivion. But that was an issue you could deal with tomorrow. Probably. Hopefully.

ⓒ THEFAEFICTION, 2023. DO NOT TRANSLATE, REPUBLISH, OR CROSS-POST WITHOUT EXPLICIT CONSENT.

[pixiesfz]

on my knees begging for more jessie writing

all I can think of is a frat boy Jessie and I'm internally screaming at the thought of it oh my lord!

plot: Your UCLA volleyball team won the national title and are throwing a party to celebrate

warning: I'm not sure I guess we'll find out but nothing bad, I don't know anything about proper volleyball I played when I was like 11 at school, the club I wrote about is completely made up

You don't even remember hitting the floor after your spike, when you heard the bounce of its landing you knew you had won the championship for your team and they had run to you quickly with hugs and screams.

The arena was in cheers as you saw the opposite team look down at the floor in shame, some of them in tears.

The girls were still picking you up as you saw classmates from the stands walk to the court. Your best friend being one of them.

"Morgan!" you yell out as you get out of your team mates grasp, Morgan runs to you and crushes you in a hug "You did it y/n!" she squealed and you both jumped up and down.

"I did it!" you yelled back as your smile grew.

You did it.

You won the championship.

"Next is your turn" you teased your friend who was wearing her UCLA soccer girls team jumper "We better fucking hope" she joked as you both laughed.

Your captain walked to you both with a smile "You are a fucking gun y/n/n!" she yelled as she rubbed your head "throwing celebration party at Sarah's sorority you in?" she asked and you nodded.

"I think we deserve it" you laughed before she joined in and eventually walked in.

"You can finally meet the soccer girls" Morgan fussed as she grabbed your shoulders and rocked you side to side "I already know most of them Morgs" you laughed "Yeah but not the ones I want you to meet"

"And who's that?"

"Jessie"

You rolled your eyes at your friend "Stop trying to set me up with people" you laughed and she groaned "trust me you'll like Jessie, I promise"

You arrived at the party with Morgan as you got out of the car and looked down at your outfit you had a lace top on that pushed up your boobs and a denim skirt on, Morgan caught your stare and threw you one of your drinks

"You look hot" she encouraged "I know someone who would like it very much" she teased and you rolled your eyes.

"I know her reputation I'm not going to be just another girl she sleeps with," you told her "yeah but I know her personally you will get along trust me y/n" "I don't know what she looks like" you pointed out and she rolled her eyes "she's your type".

You had arrived a little bit late so the house was already packed with UCLA athletes, when you walked in someone yelled out "she's here!" and people clapped around you making you laugh.

"our little winner!" Your captain slurred out as she walked to you and hugged you. You laughed as Morgan smiled "I guess scoring the winning point has it's perks"

The party went on as you were either with Morgan or teammates but you had excused yourself to go to the toilet and when you came back you realized some of the girls from your team had left the space they were in before.

Now you were lost.

You looked around a little bit before a voice spoke up from behind you "who are you looking for?" You turned around quickly to see a girl with short slightly curly brunette hair, she had a drink in her hand and her other hand in her back pocket as she stepped up to you.

"My friends, I left for a little bit and now they're gone" you explained with a shrug of your shoulders, you saw how the girls eyes lingered around your face before coming to a realization "you're y/n" she said and you nodded "yeah you?" you asked

"I'm Jessie"

Morgan was right, she was 100% your type and now you found yourself blushing at the thought. "You're in the soccer team" you said and she nodded now walking closer to you to indulge into a conversation "yeah and your volleyball, congratulations by the way you were great" she complimented and you nodded "thanks did you go?"

"I don't usually go but my teammate said that there would be a very attractive girl playing" she smiled, turning to you and nodding her head back, you followed your eyes behind her to see a lingering Morgan who when you saw her looking ran away.

You would get her back for this.

You looked back at Jessie to see her closer to you and your heart sped up a little bit, you hadn't had enough drinks for this.

"Was your teammate right?" you asked with a smile as you took a sip of your drink "She never usually is but this time she was very right" Jessie said and you tried to ignore her looking you up and down as you blushed and looked away.

You needed to be more drunk.

"Wanna come to the kitchen and get a drink?" you asked "You've already got a drink" she pointed out with a laugh "A little more wont hurt" you smiled before walking off, Jessie quickly following you behind.

When you reached the kitchen you both laughed at the couple making out in the corner as you grabbed a bottle of vodka and looked through the mixers.

"You can make drinks?" Jessie asked as she leaned down on the table in front of you, her arms held together, you couldn't help but faulter at the sight.

It was fucking hot.

"During breaks, I work at a nearby club as a bartender," you said "Which one?" Jessie asked and you laughed "Uhm it's the little one near the end of Rosie Street it's called Incognito" you sheepishly answered as you grabbed a cocktail shaker "You work at Incognito" Jessie asked in shock as you laughed again

"You mean the club where they make all the girls wear the slutty little outfits" she dropped her mouth open "Hey they are not slutty" you defended but you saw Jessie's face and nodded "Okay they are a little slutty but it is good money"

"So just curious when's your next shift?" Jessie asked, lifting herself up and walking around the table next to you "Asking for a friend" she shrugged "Oh definitely" you smiled and shook up the drink you were making.

When you were done you poured the drinks and ignored Jessie's stare.

You didn't want to be another girl on her list but god she was making it so hard.

"Here you go" you said as you passed the drink to her "what is it?" she asked "A sex on the beach"

"Ask me to dinner first jeez," she said making you laugh "You have a nice smile," she said and you rolled your eyes playfully "Well if you stopped smirking I could say the same to you" you said and took a sip out of your drink.

Jessie's smirk grew before shining a great big smile like a second grader and moving close to your face "Like this?" she challenged and you laughed "Okay! Fleming" you pushed her away softly "You have a nice smile" you said and she reacted like she had won an award.

You found your blush never going away whilst you were talking and she never looked at any other girl when they walked by when you could see them obviously staring at her.

You were both sitting on a couch and talking about Jessie's up and coming game when chaos began "Cops!" someone yelled and Jessie grabbed your hand quickly.

You were both aspiring athletes, the last thing you both wanted was to be arrested and have it on your record. "C'mon over here" she whispered as you both turned a corner and found yourselves behind a bush near the sorority.

You both laughed as you saw the couple that were making out in the kitchen walk out with a police officer, turns out the girl was the leader of the sorority.

You and Jessie both lay on the floor and out of sight as she sighed and looked up to the stars "I haven't had this much fun at a party since forever" she revealed and you turned to her "Really?" you asked and she nodded "But I thought-" "That I slept around?" she asked and you looked down at yourself in embarrassment "don't feel bad everyone thinks that" she smiled and you thought that her smile was pretty.

"Why does everyone think that?" you ask and she rolled her eyes "my ex who was pretending to be straight whilst being secret with me told everyone I was" she shrugged "What a cunt" you breathed out before a silence came over you two.

"So you don't want to sleep with me?" You joked and Jessie laughed "Oh no I really want to but I wanna talk first" she smiled and you smiled too

"take me out to dinner first?" you suggested and Jessie nodded. When silence came again you popped your head up "cops are gone" you whispered and Jessie stood up "C'mon I'll walk you back to your dorm" she said and you took her hand.

You were walking down the street as Jessie piped up "Seriously though when is your next shift I wanna see you in that outfit"

"Jessie!"

[confused-pyramid]

I'll Be Yours In A Landslide | s7 interlude

pairing: aaron hotchner x childhood bsf!reader

summary: Hotch and his childhood best friend working together at the BAU: a slow burn across the seasons.

word count: 2.6k

warnings: SMUT, oral (fem!receiving), p in v, angst

a/n: IMPORTANT UPDATE: Sorry for the wait guys, I've been super busy with graduating soon and other life updates, so I haven't had any time to write:( I really wanted to give some sort of a tie-up for this series at least for the time being, so I wrote a little interlude for y'all. I am hoping to come back at some point, but for now, I'm putting an indefinite hold on this series. I really appreciate all the comments and messages I've gotten from people, and I hope to talk to you all soon:) Title is from State Lines by Novo Amor

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"How could you?"

You push past him, shoving your way into his apartment the moment he opens the door. You were fuming your entire drive over, but now that he's standing in front of you, your mind is a battlefield of warring emotions: I hate you, I love you, I missed you.

"You knew the whole time that she was alive," you gasp, already feeling out of breath, "and you kept it from us. From me."

"I'm sorry." It seems to be the only thing he can say these days. He has said it so many times, he's lost count, but it doesn't make this better. He knows he hurt you, even if he didn't have a choice. "Please just sit down and we can talk."

"No," you shoot back, shaking him off as he tries to step closer. "I'm not gonna calm down right now. I've been keeping this in for months, Aaron. I was there for everyone and no one was there for me."

His brow screws together and you know you're hitting exactly the right spots to make him feel worse, but you can't help it.

"I wanted to tell you," he says, his voice almost frantic as you pace back and forth across his living room. "You have no idea how badly I wanted to tell you all of it, but I couldn't."

"You should've tried harder," you yell, knowing how unfair that is even as you're saying it. His face falls and he turns his palms towards you, like he's about to surrender, but that isn't what you want. You want the fight. It's what you've been waiting for for months.

You open your mouth to yell at him again, but then his eyes find yours, and he looks at you in that way he used to...like it's the first time he's seeing you all over again, and suddenly you're walking toward him. His eyes widen as you crash into him, and before he can understand what's happening, your lips are on his.

It takes him way too long to realize what's happening, but his hands move faster than his brain. They latch onto your waist, tugging you closer, pressing your chest to his, as you gasp into his mouth. When his brain finally catches up, he swears he can see fireworks as you grasp onto him, your lips so soft over his. He's been drowning for months, years, wanting you, waiting for you, pushing you away, and now you're here and he can finally breathe.

"I'm sorry," he whispers against your lips, trying to emphasize how grateful he is to have you back, but you just bring your hands up between you and tear off his open button down before chucking it to the ground.

"Shut up," you mutter, a pang of hurt cutting through even as you try to sound angry. "Just kiss me."

He doesn't make you ask twice. His lips come back to yours as he walks you back towards the couch, your knees buckling when they hit the seat.

Aaron sinks down and pulls you on top of him as you grab at every part of him, your fingers tugging at his collar and your teeth brushing over his bottom lip. The kiss is harsh and he gasps as your nails drag over his skin, but he doesn't care. You're here.

He's falling, succumbing to the overwhelming desire rising up within him, but before he can let go, he pulls back momentarily. "You're sure? I don't want you to regre-"

"I want you," you whisper, the last word turning to a sob against your will. "I'm so mad at you, but I love you and I want you, so please don't stop."

His eyes squint with shame and for a moment you almost feel guilty for how harsh you are being, but then the desire returns and he pulls you down on top of him. Your hands come up to tangle in his hair, and the roughness of his beard feels unfamiliar, yet exciting. When his mouth moves down your jaw, the scratch of his beard against your skin ignites a fire within you.

You claw at his back, trying to pull his tee shirt over his head, and he reaches down, helping you wrest it off and onto the floor. The movement sends your hips back over his groin and he lets out a low groan as he tears your button-down open.

When your top falls to the floor as well, you both pause, finally realizing the gravity of what you're doing. Your eyes drag down his chest, over the thick scars lining his abdomen and collarbone, and soon your fingers are following along, tracing a path of fire over the roughest and most beautiful parts of him. 

You gasp as his fingers ghost over the scar on your waist, where your bullet wound used to be, and before the tears in your eyes can fall, your lips are back on his. 

There's more urgency in your movements this time as you try to relish the feeling of his mouth over your pulse, your hips rolling over him. 

"Bedroom," you whisper as heat spreads between your legs, emanating from the grip of his hands on your thighs. "Now."

He doesn't waste a second as he wraps his arms around your body and stands up, lifting you along with him as he makes his way down the hall. His lips don't leave yours even as he pushes the door open with his back, and he only breaks away to toss you onto the bed. You hit the covers with a gasp, and you see his pupils darken with lust as he climbs over you, his pants already tightening. 

You can hardly believe he's back in your life again, and even as anger and hurt cloud your vision, he's here in front of you, and you need him as close as humanly possible.

"I want you too," he says suddenly, his eyes finding yours in a moment of earnestness. "So much...for so long."

Your throat thickens with tears again, and you can't decide whether you want to blink them away or let them fall, but then he quickly tugs your jeans and panties off in one go and every thought leaves your brain. 

He looks animalistic as he peppers kisses up your legs, his mouth warm and wet as he stops just before your core for an extra second to rile you up.

"Aaron," you groan, threading your fingers into his hair and tugging him forward. You won't beg, not right now, but he gets the idea.

He practically grins at your desperation, drawing it out a bit longer by sucking bruises into your thighs, before he finally goes where you are willing him to. Your head falls back with a gasp as he plunges his tongue down, licking a trail up your slit that has you writhing beneath him.

He presses his hands into your thighs, spreading them apart as your hips jut off the bed. His tongue feels like heaven as he works you open along with his fingers, getting you close within a matter of minutes. 

"Aaron, please-" you gasp out, your words cutting off as he hooks his finger up, his movements precise in a way that both surprises and exhilarates you. You're not even sure what you're asking him for, you just need more of him. 

It's like he can hear your thoughts, because his fingers start moving faster, and when your grip on his hair tightens, he lets out a low hum that vibrates up your core.

You are barely aware of what your legs are doing, but when he grabs your ankle and lifts your leg over his shoulder, your head flies back and you're moaning his name so loudly, you're afraid the neighbors will come knocking.

"Yes," you gasp, your fingers pulling at his hair harder you mean to.

He laves over your clit, alternating between sucking and licking, until you come apart under his tongue, your mouth falling open with a loud cry. 

You taste incredible, and he's so hard that his jeans have become uncomfortably tight, but even as you cry out his name, it's not enough. He wants to see you come apart under him.

Gripping your hips, he yanks you down so that you're lying directly beneath his body, eliciting a soft moan from you. Your eyes are wide with bliss as you look up at him, your eyelashes fluttering softly, and he has to grip the sheets beside your head to keep his pants from tightening any further.

His knee presses down on the bed between your thighs as he lifts you up and deftly unclasps your bra, before gently dropping it to the floor. When he returns his gaze back to you, his breath stutters as he takes in the sight before him.

"Beautiful," he whispers, almost as an afterthought. "You're so beautiful." 

He has always known it, but something about seeing you in his bed, like this, feels unbelievable. Like he somehow did everything exactly right. Except you didn't, his brain reminds him. You did everything wrong, and still got this lucky.

Maybe it is luck. But whatever it is that brought him here, he isn't going to waste another second thinking about it.

You help him tug his pants off, and when he chucks his boxers off right after, his cock springs free, hard and ready without you even touching him. Your mouth floods with saliva as his knee presses forward between your legs, and you reach down to take him in your hands, but he pushes you back with a small shake of his head.

He wants to feel you more than anything else in the world right now, but he's already so riled up, he's afraid to let you touch him until he's inside of you. He reaches over to the nightstand and grabs a foil packet to cover himself, before he lowers himself down.

"Ready?" he asks, his voice gruff even to his own ears.

You nod, your legs spreading as he lines himself up, and his breath gets stuck in his throat when he slowly pushes in. Your mouth falls open as he fills you up, taking his time to push forward until he's fully seated inside of you.

He's big enough that you need a few moments to adjust, but once he starts moving, a string of moans falls from your lips. He leans forward to press a kiss to your jaw, then your lips, and when he pulls back, his pupils are so dark you can barely make out the color of his eyes.

"You're perfect," he whispers against your skin as he presses his mouth to your neck, his hips slowly rocking into you. "You're everything."

After growing accustomed to his size, the stretch feels amazing, and you try to respond, but your head just falls back onto the pillow as waves of pleasure roll over you. You remember your dream from while he was gone, the hazy sequence that had you waking up in a heated fervor, and you can't help but think about how much better he is in real life. How you waited for so many years, and even when it hurt like hell, it was all still worth it.

He starts to thrust faster, and you hike your knees up, trying to change the angle to get him even deeper inside of you. When he hits the right spot, you let out a high gasp and your walls involuntarily squeeze around him.

"Fuck," he mutters through gritted teeth as his rhythm falters slightly. "You can't do that." He dips down to press his lips to yours for a sharp kiss. "I'm already close."

"Me too," you cry, realizing it as it flies out of your mouth. "I'm so close."

Your words seem to flip a switch in his brain. You watch as his eyes darken and his rhythm picks back up, like he only has one goal and he won't stop until he gets it. 

You're starting to squeeze around him again, and he fists the comforter next to you as he thrusts faster, his other hand coming down between the two of you. It doesn't take him more than a few seconds to find your clit, and when his thumb flicks over it once, then twice, your breath stutters and your walls close around him so suddenly that he nearly finds his release as well.

You look magical as you fall apart below him, and he keeps moving inside of you, working you through it as he commits the image to memory. You let out a soft sigh as you come down from your high, but it only takes a few more thrusts for him to near the edge.

"Where do you want me?" he asks, his voice a low hum as you run your fingers through his hair, your nails scratching over his scalp.

You gasp quietly. "Come inside me. Please." 

He groans, picking up his pace again, and wraps his arms around you in an effort to bring you even closer. You press your lips to his as he releases, swallowing his gasps while he slowly comes down.

He pulls out slowly, taking care not to hurt you when you're sensitive, before heading into the bathroom. He returns after a minute with a small towel that he uses to carefully clean both of you up with. 

After tossing it away, he climbs back into the bed and tugs you close to him, your back pressing into his front like a pair of puzzle pieces. The day is starting to catch up with you, and you feel tiredness pull at your eyes as his chest rises and falls evenly behind you.

"I'm in love with you," he says suddenly, his voice hurried like he surprised even himself. "I'm sorry if it isn't the right time or if that isn't what you wanted from this, but-"

"Aaron," you cut him off, turning over so that you can reach up and thread your fingers through his hair. "I'm in love with you too. Of course I am."

He lets out a breath, and you can almost hear the relief in his sigh as he wraps an arm around you and tucks you into his side. Unsurprisingly, he's a furnace wrapped up beside you, but you can't bring yourself to move, especially with how much comfort his mere presence brings you.

You lay there for a while, taking this uninterrupted time to re-memorize his face as his breath evens out. You could never forget anything about him, but he's been gone for so long that you expect there are hundreds of new facets to him that you'll get to learn.

His eyes have been closed long enough that you assume he is asleep, but then his breath stutters and you look up at him as he squeezes you closer in his arms.

"I'm sorry," he whispers, his voice sending reverberations through his chest. "I know you know I couldn't tell you everything, but I should have let you in more-"

"I don't want to talk about this right now." Your voice is strong, and he must hear the finality in your tone, because he immediately quiets down. "I know you're sorry...and we'll talk about this more in the morning. But right now, I just want to be here with you. I just got you back."

He's quiet for a moment, but you feel his chin dip down in a nod. "Morning then. Good night."

His arms tighten around you and you snuggle next to him, every part of you interweaving in an effort to get closer than you already are. 

That night, you have the best sleep you've had in years.

TAGLIST:@citrusiove, @yiiiikesmish, @mdanon027, @alice-w0rld, @beata1108, @bakugocanstompme, @raely-study, @himboelover, @hermionegalathynius, @rousethemouse, @calif0rniadreamin, @tolerateit13, @delusional-13s-blog, @madesavage05, @littlemisskavities, @love13tter, @domithebomi, @guacam011y, @averyhotchner, @silver-studios, @whosmys, @mimi-sanisanidiot, @chronicallybubbly, @shilphy87, @threespacemonkeys, @zaddyhotch, @slytherin-min99, @endofthexline, @thattookaturnforthenerdy

[goldustwomun]

all of me wants all of you (s.b.)

pairing: sirius black x younger potter!reader

summary: something about your relationship with sirius black had never sit quite right with you, and now that he's back after two years of travelling the world, you're beginning to think that you'll soon find out what'll happens if the two of you finally fall over the edge of whatever precipice you've been teetering close to all these years. plus, you've got to work with him all summer, so what's the worst that could happen?

warnings: angst so much angst, some healing as well, hugs from a concerned mother, more angst, more angst, fluff?, actual communication omg, do you ever meet someone's eyes and just one look from them has you breaking down and bawling, yeah :) , not proofread but i'll do it in the morning!!

wc: 3.3k+

note: i've been on some sort of writing kick so enjoy these daily updates D: anyway can y'all tell i'm MISSING my mum. only four more weeks though! x

pt i. / pt ii. / pt iii.

You were elbow deep in a sink of dirty dishes, your Mum towelling dry the plates next to you, when you finally came out and said it.

“Am I a disappointment, Mum?”

She froze right there, arms poised and plate hovering mid-air. It was only a second later when she recovered, gently placing the dish on the counter when she turned to look at you. Her head was titled in that concerned way of hers, and you’re not sure what it was about the look in her eyes – of hurt and worry and love – but the tears started flowing right then and there.

“Oh, my love, how could you ever think that?” she questioned, tugging you into her arms, not caring about the water from your hands or the tears from your eyes soaking her new cotton dress. She smelled of chamomile tea and custard creams and home. And as much as you thought you hated her sometimes; her reassurance was what you needed most when the world seemed out to get you.

“You could never disappoint me or Da’, you know that.” She pulled back, forcing you to look up into her eyes, noticing the shimmer across her own irises. “Tell me you know that my sweetest girl.”

“I—” and your voice broke but you kept going— “I don’t know if I do.” With a deep breath you tried to explain it all. “It just seems like everyone hates me sometimes. And I guess it, I’m difficult, I know that I am, but sometimes—I mean, a lot of the time, really, it feels like I can’t control it. When I argue and bicker and stomp away in a tantrum. It’s these feelings—I have so many, and I never know what to do with them, and it’s like drowning in indecision and I always make the wrong choice.”

“I know, love, I know,” she soothed, pulling you back in and smoothing her palm across your hair. You melted into her embrace like you hadn’t since you were ten years old. “You’re so much like me, you know? I swear, hear it every time we’re out with our friends. And when I was your age, I felt that way too. Lost and overwhelmed and like I wasn’t enough.”

“So, what did you do—to get rid of those feelings, I mean?” you asked, already dreading her answer.

“I didn’t. And you shouldn’t want to, either.” You almost lifted your head to argue but stopped yourself before you could. “Your emotions and feelings and thoughts and dreams—they make you who you are. Of course, it’s important to acknowledge the root of the ones that pester you the most and try to understand why they have such a hold over you. And maybe it’s my fault, really, for not saying it more, but we are so so proud of you.”

“I think you say it more to James and Sirius than you do to me,” you pointed out, a slight bite to your words but not enough to sting.

“James is, well, James. I can’t deny that he’s occasionally—” you raised your eyebrow incredulously at that and she responded with an amused eyeroll— “struggled with his classes and getting it together, so it seemed important to guide him in the right direction with praises. Sirius, on the other hand—well, we’re all he has. We just wanted him to feel loved.”

You nodded, understanding, but not sure how you fit into all of this. “Then you, my love. When you were younger you were always naturally good at things. I never understood where you got that from cause it certainly wasn’t from me. You put little effort into things and excelled, so maybe I got used to the idea that I knew you’d always be alright even if I didn’t say anything. But that’s my fault, I shouldn’t have withheld my pride out of laziness.”

“I don’t think you’re lazy, Mum,” you urged, but she hushed you with that stern voice of hers.

“I’m sure you don’t but shush because I won’t admit it again,” she scolded, her voice entirely mocking and somewhere between those tears, you managed a smile. “Your Da’ and I always knew you’d go on to do brilliant things. You’re intelligent, and passionate, and those muggle kids of yours adore you. You’re shaping their lives in ways you can’t even know, and they’re lucky to have you, just like I am, my sweet girl.”

She leaned forward, placing a kiss to the crown of your head.

“And do you hate that I live at home still?”

She reeled back, both shocked and confused. “of course not. We love having you here! It’s entirely selfish, really. Got to convert James’ old room into a study, as well as keep you around for the company and to help with chores. If anything, I don’t want you to move out,” she explained, serious. “Really, if you had more natural light in your room, we would’ve helped you to a new place the second you graduated from Hogwarts.”

You barked out a laugh at that, entirely believing her. “Okay, okay. I get it. I’m wanted, or whatever.” You could feel your cheeks flaring at the thought of saying it out loud, but you ignored the feeling to relish in your Mum’s embrace a little while longer.

“Oh, yeah—whatever,” she teased, reaching up to wipe a stray tear from your face. “You could never disappoint me.”

All you could do was nod before your face dropped with apprehension. “What—what is it, love?” she asked, concerned herself.

“Well, you see, you say that now but I did something kind of dumb…” you trailed off, unable to confess just yet.

“What did you—you didn’t murder someone, did you? Because I love you but I don’t think I could manage Azkaban with those arthritis flare ups I’ve been getting.”

“What--! Mum, no, I didn’t—how could I? How could you think I’d be capable of murder?!” and really it had been the longest you’d gone without absolutely belting at someone.

“You are quite easily irritated,” she reasoned.

“If people stopped being so irritating—” you stopped, taking a deep breath, before confessing— “No, it’s both better and worse.”

“Go on,” she encouraged, but even she didn’t seem entirely convinced.

“I kissed Sirius.”

And it was like crickets between the two of you. Not a scolding shout or a cry of horror or—

“Okay… and is that it?” she asked bluntly.

“What do you mean ‘is that it?’. It’s wild, unbelievable, otherworldly, even!” you sputtered, not quite comprehending the calm with which she was speaking.

“Oh, don’t be dramatic, love. It’s not a good look,” and she pushed you out of the way to continue scrubbing at the dirty dishes, ignoring your stunned frame.

“Aren’t you going to ask me ‘why’?” you pushed, peering over her shoulder to check she was very much alive and breathing and not pranking you with a bit of some sort.

“I don’t need to, I know why,” she answered simply. You balked, tugging her shoulder back so she halted her movements and turned to face you.

“And what might that ‘why’ be?”

“It’s simple, really. You love him, you’ve always loved him. Since you were five and he pushed James into the dirt for stealing your copy of that Tiger, Wizard, and Cabinet’ book.”

You couldn’t help the way your hand slapped against your face right then, from exhaustion or exasperation, you weren’t sure. “It’s the Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, Mum,” you groaned.

“That definitely doesn’t sound right,” she pouted. “Anyway, he got the book back from James and you were so pleased you came up to me and said ‘Mummy, I think Sirius isn’t so bad after all, can we keep him?’. And when I explained the laws around owning human beings, you huffed and hid under the dining room table all day until you fell asleep.”

“Well, that does sound like me…”

“Of course, it sounds like you. I’m your mother,” she chided. “You didn’t start pretending to hate Sirius until you were about ten or eleven and he got that first girlfriend of his. What was her name—Lacey? Macey?”

“Stacey,” you chewed out, only to realise the anger with which you spoke her name despite never having known her. “Oh—”

“’Oh’ indeed. And what did you say to young Sirius after this kiss?” she pried, entirely engrossed in the story now as she rested her hip against the damp counter.

“I might’ve—you know---”

“No! you didn’t!” she burst out, already knowing exactly what you were going to say.

“I did, Mum, I did,” you moaned, pathetic and questioning if there was any way to rectify the situation, you’d found yourself in.

“Well, I can’t help you with that, love. You’re on your own, kid,” she explained, wiping her hands clean before sending you off (you weren’t entirely sure where, exactly) with a pat on your back.

If you were anyone else, you would’ve taken such an encouraging conversation and somewhat-healed trauma of your childhood as a sign to go speak with Sirius.

But no, lucky for you, you were you.

He hadn’t shown up to work all week, using the flu as an excuse. So when James and Lily invited you over for a small gathering— “Really, James, two parties in one month? What kind of home are you raising my nephew in!”—you hadn’t thought much of it, or him.

“Do let me know if I’ve got this correct– you’ve decided to host a fourth of July party despite not being American, or, now that I think about it further, ever having been to America?” you questioned, genuinely worrying for Lily’s sanity as she rocked a bumbling Harry on her lap, cheeks painted with red, white and blue stars.

“Well, when you put it like that,” James groused, pouting, arms folded against his chest despite being the adult that he was.

“How else would you put it, James?” you argued, exasperated.

Lily perked up at the sound of a potential fight and silenced the two of you with a single look. If anyone was made to be a mother, it had to be Lily. She was compassionate and kind and gentle, as much as she could scare you with a simple glance, she could soothe all your worries as well.

“Look, I just needed an excuse to have a beer, and what better excuse is there than this! The holiday of beers—” I thought that was St. Paddy’s “—Hush! Otherwise, I’d have to wait for someone’s birthday or, what’s the next holiday–? Halloween? That’s ages away.”

You smirked at his odd logic. “Obviously it doesn’t necessarily have to be very Americana or whatever. Red, white and blue– just close your eyes and pretend it’s the beloved Union Jack instead!”

The gathering wasn’t as big as the last one, and you recognised the few familiar faces as Lily and James’ closest friends: Remus, Marlene, Mary, Peter, Sirius—

Sirius? Your head whipped back in a double take, watching as he pulled Remus into a hug ‘hello’ right by the garden gate. He hadn’t noticed you, not yet, but it didn’t take long for his gaze to fixate right on you. You couldn’t read his face, not having ever quite mastered the skill, but this time especially, he looked dazed and withdrawn.

Even his smiled seemed tight, like he didn’t quite mean it, and your heart plummeted at the thought that you’d done that to him.

“I’ll be right back,” you offered, distracted, to James as he preoccupied himself with squeezing Harry’s chubby fist.

Sirius had gone straight inside, probably headed for the kitchen, and you followed suit, wondering what it was about your brother’s house that had the two of you both rushing to and avoiding confrontation.

You found him right where you had expected—peering into the dimly lit fridge and pulling out a bottle of beer.

“Sirius,” you said, announcing your presence as you let the door click shut behind you. Luckily, no one else was inside the house, rather taking in the one day of sunlight and light breeze in an otherwise damp English spring.

You watched as his shoulders tensed instantly, and you just knew he wanted to be anywhere else but there, with you, at that moment, but he turned to face you anyway.

“How can I help, Potter?” he asked, keeping his cards close to his chest still.

“Can we talk?”

“Isn’t that what we’re doing right now,” he pointed out, brow raised as he took a deep gulp of his drink, cringing at the taste.

“That’s not what I mean, and you know it,” you pushed back, inching a step forward.

 “No, I don’t know what you mean,” he replied smoothly, seemingly untouched by the implication behind your words.

“You’re such a prick sometimes, Sirius.”

“And you’ve only just noticed? My, didn’t take you as slow, Potter,” he noted, mockingly, and you flinched at his casual cruelty.

“Don’t do that,” you scolded.

“Do what?” he fought back, “Speak my mind? Seems like you’re the only one allowed to do that around here, and when anyone dares contest, well, all hell breaks loose.”

“You’re not speaking your mind, though,” you argued.

“Ah, and you know my mind so well, do you?” The annoying thing about Sirius, amongst many other things, was that he knew how to get under your skin. Had perfected the craft after years of verbal combat with you. So his words poked and prodded at your soft underbelly with ease as he brandished his hurt around like a swordsman with a too-heavy sword.

“Maybe not entirely, but when it comes to us, I think I know enough.” He stayed silent after that, hesitant, as if waiting for you to make the first move. “The other day, when we kissed—” and you knew you were getting hotter because something, some feeling, flickered behind his irises “—I said it was a mistake—”

“—I know, love. I was there,” he scowled. “No need to remind a man of his failings.”

“Just— let me finish!” You inhaled, slow, before continuing. “I said it was a mistake when, in fact, I felt the opposite. It’s just—it’s you and I, Sirius, and when it comes to us, I might know, inside, what I mean and feel and intend to show but when it comes to the actual ‘doing’ part of it all, I always seem to mess up. So, when I said it was a mistake, what I really meant was—”

And it was his turn to cut you off with his mouth, only this time it was sweet and yearning and apologetic as opposed to the fire and passion and lust that had guided the two of you the last time you’d found yourself in his hold.

His mouth slid over your own, careful and inquisitive, whilst his palms cradled your face, as if you’d slip out of his grasp if he moved even an inch in the wrong direction.

It was lovely, really.

As much as you wished for him to keep going, to keeping kissing you like he might yearn for you too (though you wouldn’t be saying those three words for a while), you were horribly aware of the fact that Lily, or worse, your brother, might walk in at any moment.

So, Sirius didn’t allow himself to get carried away with you, not yet at least, and instead he pulled away with a content sigh, tracing your bottom lip with his thumb as if to memorise it by feel alone.

“Is that our thing then? Kisses in the form of sneak-attacks?” you mused, vibrating and giddy and utterly pleased.

“Could be, if you want?” and it seemed like he was still entranced with your mouth to properly reply in any meaningful manner.

“Sirius,” you pleaded, urging him to look at you, properly. He tore his gaze away from your lips, finally, and the way his face split into a grin had those fucking butterflies returning, tenfold. “Are you okay?”

“I will be once I take you to mine and do that all over again, only, a little less clothed and a lot more horizontal” he promised, the cheek of his you had come to endearing having return after his previous sulking.

“You’re a menace,” you groaned as he buried his smirking face into the crook of your neck, holding you tight to him before his grip relaxed and he pressed a kiss to your forehead, holding you right there.

“I know, and I’m only joking—well, if you want me to be joking, I will be. But I’m fine—I swear it. It just seems surreal, us, like this,” he explained.

“I get that, it is a bit odd, but I’ve realised you need to contextualise those weird, new feelings and not let them control you, at least, not if they’re ‘bad’ or whatever,” you offered clumsily, trying, in your own way, to relay the same advice your Mum had.

He snorted in response, and you smacked his back from where your arms were wrapped around him. “You sound like your Mum.”

“Mm, that is my Mum. Only, she said it better, and more concise, and in that Mum-way that just makes sense.”

“Ah, well that makes a bit more sense.” He pulled back for a moment, not letting you out of the circle of his arms yet. “We should talk about this a little more, shouldn’t we?”

You nodded, sighing as you moved away from him to get a hold of your thoughts once more. “I think, for me at least, I conflated anger with my feelings for you because I wasn’t exactly sure how to handle them, and deep down, I worried you’d reject me, so it seemed easier to argue with you than—”

“--this,” he finished for you, and he must’ve read the agreement on your face because he bobbed his head in response. “It makes sense, really, and it’s about the same for me, only, there was the whole issue of James and, I mean, I’m older—”

“—by a few years,” you maintained, scowling, and he wanted to kiss you for it.

“Yes, love, but a few years means different things depending on how old you are. We’ve never really been in the same phase of life until now, so I don’t think I wanted it—nor would it have been appropriate, really—until a year or two ago. By then, it seemed too late, so I just kept—”

“—bickering.”

“Yeah, bickering. Arguing. Biting back. It was the safer option.” And everything he said made sense, it was all entirely reasonable, but you still mourned the time lost to not being entirely honest with each other.

“But there’s no point worrying over that now, not when we can’t do anything about it,” he reasoned, noting the faraway look in your eyes and centring you back, there, with him.

“We should get back to the party,” you whispered, fearing what would happen when the two of you left the safety on the kitchen, flooded still with gold and a certain stillness that had you aching for this moment to be forever.

“Yeah, love, let’s go back,” he answered, just as quiet, nudging his head toward the door. Just as your hand came up to turn the doorknob, Sirius’ palm came up in front of you, halting your movements. He stood, still, behind you, and close as ever. You could feel every breath he took, and that damn cologne you’d started missing in the bookstore as well. “Don’t worry about us, love, we’ll be fine,” he assured you.

You answered by turning the knob and making your way back towards the garden. Sirius followed from behind, and when you stepped through the backdoor, you realised how little had changed since you’d gone inside, but also just how much had changed, as well.

as always, please comment and reblog if you enjoyed this <3

[emyladia]

Winter Break... | L. Nr

pairing : lando norris x f!reader

summary : Booking a cottage in the moutains for winter break wih your friends sounds like a good idea. I mean it could have been, but with lando around this was meant for trouble.

genre : fluff, slightly suggestive

warning : cursing, pretty sure that's all

a/n : This was just so fun to write, great request I hope this is what was expected and that you'll all enjoy it. Loving the winter vibe even close to the summer. The end is kinda shitty but don't mind it please. 'So american' is totally an alternative title.

Pietra's idea of booking a cottage sounded so great at first. This was a great way to spend time with your closest friends and enjoy winter holliday.

Until you realised what it actually meant, that meant close proximity h24 with Lando Norris.

You were Pietra's bestfriend and he was Max's bestfriend so you were used to spend time together, but if it wasn't for your friends you would already have ripped his head off of his body.

The guy was everything you hate, cocky, provoking, immature.

Saying he was not a big fan of yours was an euphemism. He hated you just as much as you hated him.

You were always trying to put on the best behavior when you were hanging out the four of you but a whole week ? Lost in the woods in the same house as him ?

Now that was something else.

But you couldn't say no.

Not when you had already agreed, and certainly not when Pietra was looking so happy and excited about it.

So here you were, at the back of the car singing to 'So American' by Olivia Rodrigo with your bestfriend, on your way to the mountains, regretting your life choices.

Max was driving, and Lando at the passenger seat was sighing heavily, making well known his annoyment at the two of you.

"What don't you like Olivia Rodrigo ?" Pietra asked Lando when the song was over.

"The problem isn't the song, it's the singers" He answered chuckling a bit.

God you were even hating the sound of his voice at this point. You rolled your eyes and stared at the window.

After a few more time you were finally all at the cottage. It was so lovely, big, all in wood, surrounded by a forest, and it was snowing.

You eyes were shining like a five years old girl, those hollidays were gonna be great with or without Lando.

"Finally smiling ?" The blond girl mocked you nudging your shoulder.

You let out a soft smile. "Sorry, I was just tired, those vacance are gonna be so cool"

She nodded widely at you before running towards the door where Max and Lando were already.

The inside of the house was even better, if it's possible. Every space was huge but yet cosy.

"I love it already" You exclamed happily. You could see that Pietra was as excited as you if it's not more.

"I'm gona check the bedrooms" She clasped her hand at this statement and went immediatly upsatairs.

You followed her letting the lungages to the boys.

When you were finally just on your owns Pietra took a serious face and spoke :

"Let's spend a great time okay ? Please don't fight with Lando"

You rolled your eyes at her comment, but she grabbed your hands insisting.

"Please"

"Fine" You conceed, it's not like you could ever told her no anyways.

You were laying on your bed, scrolling through instagram when you heard a knock on your door.

"Come in" You shouted, too lazy to actually move your ass and opened the door yourself.

The door creacked opened to a loving blond head.

"Hey Pietra what do you want ?" You questionned her putting your phone down?

"Max and I are going to town, I just wanted to let you know." She told you smiling.

"To town ?" You furrowed your eyebrow "But the closest town is one hour away from here"

"Yeah I know but we don't have marshmallows, how am I supposed to ugly cry on rom-coms without a hot chocolate with marshmallows ??" She said acting like a total drama.

You laughed loudly at her childlish behavior. "You're seriously making a two hours trip for marshmallows ?"

"Yes and ?"

"And Max is coming with you ? Dang, that boy is in love" You joked.

"I know right ? Anyways try not to fight too much with Lando" She warned you before exiting the room, letting you alone with your thoughts again.

They had left about twenty minutes ago when you decided to went downstairs.

You were still in the stairs when you noticed him, he was on the couch watching some emission about food on the TV.

Be friendly you remembered yourself, as you put on a smile and sat on the couch too (but the farther away possible from him).

"What you're watching ?" You asked him, trying to make conversation.

"Don't really know... Something about food" He replied not looking away from the screen.

Well this was starting well... Why was everything so awkward between the two of you, you couldn't help but thought.

He clearly wasn't in a mood to talk to you, not that he ever had been, so you just kept it shut and watched the TV too.

The silence between you and Lando was deafening, each passing moment filled with an uncomfortable tension that seemed to hang in the air like a heavy cloud.

You couldn't shake the feeling of unease, the knowledge that you were alone with the one person you couldn't stand.

As you watched the TV together in silence, you couldn't help but steal glances at Lando out of the corner of your eye.

Despite your animosity towards him, you couldn't deny that there was something undeniably attractive about him, from the way his jawline was perfectly chiseled to the way his eyes sparkled with mischief.

But as quickly as those thoughts entered your mind, you pushed them aside, reminding yourself of all the reasons why you couldn't stand him : He was arrogant, cocky, and infuriatingly immature, and the last thing you wanted was to be alone with him in the middle of nowhere.

When you opened your eyes, the sky was already dark. You had fell asleep while watching the TV.

You rubbed your eyes and blinked a few time trying to adjust to the sudden light.

Lando wasn't on the couch and the TV was now off but you were hearing some noise coming from the kitchen so it was probably him.

You checked your phone, it was past 8 P.M.

Have you really slept that much ? You couldn't believe it, but the dark sky out there was telling you otherwise.

You headed to the kitchen to find Lando cooking something, you couldn't help but notice that you didn't knew that he was able to cook.

"Hey, have you seen Pietra ?" You asked him.

He turned away from the fryin pan to look at you right in the eyes. You hated it, or you were loving it, you didn't know, god what were you even thinking at this point ?!

There was just something about his eyes, they seemed so truthfull and yet full of mischief.

"They haven't come back yet" He answered before turning back again focusing on his recipe.

You frown immediatly "What do you mean they haven't come back ?"

He sigh visibly annoyed to be cut off again in the middle of cooking esoecially for a stupid question like that.

"I mean they're not home"

"But they have to be" You insisted and it seems to pissed him off even more.

"They are not. What is so wrong with your brain that you can't understand a simple sentence ?" He said harshly.

You got a bit taken aback by his behavior, you still haven't fight yet and it was kinda nice for once to just discuss like normal people. But it looks like it's done now.

"Cmon it's past 8, they should be here since at least one hour" You continued cause you were getting worried now.

"It's already 8 ?!" He was looking confused now, and a bit worried too.

You ran toward the entrance while dialing Pietra's number. Outside the parking area was still empty, but where the hell where they ?

And of course she wasn't answering the damn phone. You called again, but max this time, one ring... two... three...

"Yes ?"

You sighed from relief. "Where are you it's already past 8, did something happened ?"

Max stayed silent for a few second... "Well you should talk with Pietra, I swear it wasn't my idea" He told you, and you could heard that he was feeling sorry in his voice.

But what the hell was he sorry for ? And what the hell was he talking about ?

"Heyyyy Y/n !" Your bestfriend told you in an awkward manner. And suddenly you weren't worry at all anymore, you were even starting to be a little pissed off... Something wasn't clear.

"P ? What have you done ?" You snapped at her.

"I'm sorry" She immediatly blurted out. "I know you'll be mad but it's gonna be good for the two of you staying a bit together. You'll see you'll even grew closer maybe ? And I know that you're acting like you hate him but you most definitly don't hate him at all-"

What. The. Hell.

Between the blond saying nonsense and Lando now standing in front of you in the hallway waiting for news, you were feeling overwhelmed.

"Pietra what the fuck are you talking about ? When are you coming back ?" You cut her off.

"We're not"

"What ?"

"We're not coming back, it's you and him, cmon I know for sure you think he's cute. You can lie to yourself but not to me I have seen the way you look at him when you think no one is looking"

"Bullshit"

"No it's not, if you could just consider it you would se-" You hang up on the phone too nagry to continue talking to her anymore.

She had trapped you, into being locked up with goddamn Lando cause she thought you had a crush on him ???

Life is not a damn rom-com.

"Should've have known fucking marshmallows were bullshit" You mumbled.

You stormed out off the room, going upstairs to your room when Lando stopped you midtrack. Like it was not already shitty, he was the last person you wanted to see right now.

"So ?" He questionned you. Your brow furrowed.

"What ?"

"When are they coming back ? Are they alright ? And what about marshmallows ?"

"Well they're totally fine yeah and no they're not coming back, cause we're apparently two fools locked up in a nice cottage in the middle of nowhere" You immediatly escaped him and throw yourself on your bed after that.

Lando wasn't stupid, he would probably understand by himself wha was happening.

You hadn't left your room since the call, and it was probably pretty late now.

Now that you were less angry, you had thought about it, maybe it could be okay all you had to do was keep ignoring Lando like you had done this evening.

The house was nice and the landscaped was beautiful, nothing shoudl stopped you from enjoying it.

You were still thinking about your little scheme to avoid Lando as much as possible when you heard a knock on your door.

You got up and opened it, without much suprised Lando was standing in front of it, a plate in his hands.

"Can I come in ?"

"Oh yeah sure" Mission avoid Lando : end now.

He smiled, visibly relieved that didn't slam the door on his face and entered the room. He put the plate on the desk before turning towards you.

The room was only lit up by your the lamp on your nighstand, and the little golden reflection on his face was making his skin glow.

He was pretty for sure. Saying otherwise would be lying.

"I made dinner but you kinda looked like you needed a bit of space so here it is" He told you pointing towards the plate.

"Since when are so nice ? It's not poisoned it is ?" You looked at him suspicioulsy.

He chuckled at your comment and god you just wanted to took that sound and keep it close to you forever. What the hell were you even thinking, what Pietra had said was really starting to get to your head now.

"I'm not always the bastard you try to make me look like" He just answered, that damn smile still plastered on his face.

"Whatever" I shrugged.

"So you're gonna eat or what" He asked you cocking an eyebrow.

"Oh yeah right I'm starving. What about you ?" It was all so strange, talking to Lando like that, like you were actually friends... You were kinda liking the sound of it.

"Well, I've already eat, it's pretty late you know" You glanced at your phone and it was past 10 P.M.

"Oh right... Yeah" And awkward silence fell between the two of you as you took your plate and sat on your bed to eat.

He started to move towards the door to let you eat in peace, and probably head to his bedroom. Perfect everything was coming to sense again maybe the mission : avoid Lando wasn't a lost cause after all.

"Could you stay ?" Who had said that ? Cause that could not be you, not in a million time in the world you could have possibly asked Lando to stay with you willingly.

He froze so you added immediatly "If you want cause I mean if you dan't want to it's okay, like I would understand. I mean we're really that close so maybe that's weird but it's I thought maybe you know. And eating alone is really sad but like you don't actually have to stay if you don't want. I don't want to force you-"

"Woaw slow down there" He chuckled a bit. You sigehd of frustration, now you were rambling. Just what was wring with you ?

He was probably thinking that you were completly crazy now.

But Lando wasn't looking at you like someone who's crazy, his eyes were soft and he was smiling fondly at you.

He sat down next to you and you both talked while you eat, actually even after. You have never talked so long with Lando, but everything just looked so easy.

When he finally left to get to his room you find yourself replying the evening and smiling like an idiot.

No. Absolutly no way.

You slapped yourself mentally, you couldn't have a crush on Lando that was ridiculous. You were hating him.

Okay maybe not anymore but you two could never be more than friends. Not possibly he was a lady's man, no string attached, f1 driver, flying acroos the world.

And you were... You. Hopeless romantic, who spended her night reading and listening to Olivia Rodrigo.

You and Lando was a total nonsense, and would never happened.

When you woke up the next morning and in the process of going downstairs bumped into a shirtless Lando mumbling a "Morning" with a sleepy voice you undertood that you were screwed.

You had spend the next day ignoring him as much as you can. You couldn't let yourself fell for him like that.

So everytime he wanted to talked to you or spent time with you, you were making excuses.

And here you were again, pretending to be too focused on your book to joined him watching a movie. Actually that was half true, cause your book was really good.

The two protagonists were about to kiss for the first time when Lando bursted into your room. You nearly jumped out of your bed.

"What happened to knocking ?"

He completly ignored your remark and throw himself on your bed.

"Did I do something ?"

"What no ?"

"What are you avoiding me then?"

"I am not" You lied, and he gave a look, the you-don't-fool-me-with-your-bullshit look.

You avoid his gaze feeling a bit guilty, he sighed and dropped the subject but he was looking... Almost hurt ?

"What are you reading" He asked poiting toward the book you were still holding.

A blushed crept to you cheeks, you knew their was nothing to be ashamed about reading romance novel but still. "Nothing" You hid your book in your back.

"Cmon" He smirked trying to get the book from behind you.

Dammit that stupid man that has way more strenght than you. He eventually ended up catching it and start reading the page where your bookmark was.

"Her eyes were shining with desire as he was pinning her against the wall. He wanted her so bad and deep down he knew that she wanted him just as much..."

"Oh my god stop" You shouted basically jumping on the bed to get your book back but Lando rolled on the other side of the bed.

"But they couldn't get lost in their desire, they were enemies, people who despised each other. And yet the only thought that crossed their minds at the moment was one lustfull" He continued to read out loud.

"Okay really stop that is embarassing" You finally managed to take the book back.

He pouted as you closed the novel and put it on your nightstand.

"Hey, I want to know if they kiss" The curly haired boy spoke.

"Stop mocking me" You hid your fac efrom embarassment.

"I'm serious" You were expecting a laugh, that you could've handled. Mockery, and snarky remarks, that was somethong you knew and you could support.

But him, with that serious look, truly interessed in your stupid romance novel. No that was too much for your heart.

"Really ?" You finally met his eyes, so sincere in that exact moment. He simply nodded.

You sighed before taking the book back. "Okay but don't read at loud please, let's read it... Together ? Just tell me when you've finished the page"

He smiled brightly and sat next to you as you both started reading.

At first it was uncomfortable and awkward to read like that but as time pass you both grew more comfortable and it wasn't so bad reading with him.

It felt so intimate... Being pressed next to Lando so you can both look at the pages, but yet you weren't hating it. Not at all actually, and that was kinda scaring you.

When the dark had became too dark for you to read, you decided that it was time to stopped. Lando groaned about it, he only shut up when you promised him that you could read again the next day.

"I don't know about you but I start getting hungry" He told you.

"Hmmm... I can cook tonight but I can only make grilled cheese sandwich" You laughed a little.

"Like in 'anyone but you'" He commented and you turned to faced him.

"You know the movie ?" Your eyes were wide.

"There's a lot you don't know about me" He winked at you before rolling out of bed and heading towards the kitchen.

You followed him still confused. He was right, there was so much you didn't knew about him, he was nothing like you thought he would be.

You cooked and then you ate together and he burned himself cause he didn't wait to eat. And you laughed, you laughed so much this evening your cheeks were hurting.

When you got to bed you were more confused than te night before but you were sure of one thing : Lando Norris was bad for your heart.

You hadn't answered any text from Pietra since the call, you weren't mad anymore but she gad tricked you, so you could at least do that to get back on her.

The location was for a week, you had been there for now 6 days and your little crush for Lando hadn't stop growing.

You had both read, a lot actually, played chess, throew snowballs at each other, watched movies, talked and more.

You knew that when you were gonna leave this cottage everything will became like before, but just thinking about it was hurting you. You weren't sure you were able to hate him anymore.

Being now Lando's friend also means discovered a whole new side of him, like the fact that he was extremely touchy-feely. It's not that you were hating it, in fact you were loving it a bit too much.

"What are you thinking about ?" The boy asked you, you were reading and you haven't turned a single page in 10 minutes.

"Nothing much just got lost in my thought" You answered him smiling weakly.

He looked at you like he didn't believed a single you said, but he did'nt push it more and simply nodded.

"Wanna see something fun ?" You turned to him intrigued.

"What are you thinking about ?"

"Do you trust me?" He looked at you straight into your eyes.

You nodded. He smiled and took your hand leading you downstairs. His warm hand in yours felt so great, you wished you could kept the feeling forever.

It was already dark oustide so when he told you put on your shoes and coat as he did the same you hesitated a second. Maybe he was about to murder you in that dark forest.

A bit dramatic maybe.

But you never know.

After coming to the conclusion that the idea was ridiculous and that he could've had killed you countless times if he wants, you did as he told you.

"Okay close your eyes" You frown but he only waited for you to do so, so you finally closed your eyes.

He led you outside, you heard the snow creacked under your footsteps. After a few more steps and spoke again :

"Okay opened them now"

As you were looking around you, you realised that you were right in front of the cottage in the middle of the snow, you looked at him confused.

"Up" He told you pointing towards the stars.

And that's when your jaw dropped, the sky was fulled of stars, so bright, that was the prettiest things you ahd ever seen in your life.

"Woaw" Was all you managed to say you were like a child in front of christmas present.

"This is beautiful" You murmured amazed.

"Yes it is" He said looking right at you.

You couldn't helped but laughed "God lando that line is old like the world, you can do better than that" He laughed with you.

You both sat on the porch to looked at the stars comfortably.

"What do you see?" He said poiting towards the sky.

You thought a little bit before answering. "Right there you can clearly see a gun, and those stars here 15 feet away are forming Mcdonald's logo"

"God you're so american" He chuckled. At those words your heart beat a little faster, you were getting stupid, no he wasn't quoting...

"And before you ask, yes I'm quoting Olivia Rodrigo"

Oh god you cheeks were on fire now, actually no, your whole body.

"I thought you hated her" You said him clearing your throat that was suddenly really dry.

"Wrong she's kinda right, I do laugh at all your jokes and I would like if you'd come everywhere I'd go" He confessed.

Now quoting the whole chorus, you were melting right in front of him, how could he said such things this easily ?

"Don't do that" You warned him, it was snowing, how could you be so hot right now ?

"That what ?"

"You know what I mean"

He smiled fondly at you before getting up.

"Alright american girl, let's go to sleep"

You both head back inside and as he deposed you to your room, you realised you didn't want him to go, not now. Not when tomorrow you would had to leave this place and all the moments you shared behind.

"You want to come inside ? To... Chat a bit ?" You sugggested to him visibly embarassed.

His eyes widened and you wonder if maybe you shouldn't have said that but he smiled and agreed.

You were both sitting on your bed, the room deadly silent, none of you daring to speak first.

"Listen-"

"I've wanted to-"

"You go first" He told you.

"No you really, please"

"Okay, so... What did I need to do?"

"Sorry ?" You where caught off guard by his question.

"What can I do for you to finally look at me like i look at you?"

He was supposed to clarified himself with that sentence but you were just even more confused.

He groaned in front of your lack of reaction "Cmon, don't get me wrong I enjoyed it, but why do you think I would read romance and watched rom-com everyday ?? And actually learned lyrics of an Olivia Rodrigo song ?"

"Cause you liked them ?" He gave you a look that really said "Seriously ?"

"I don't know cause of your really sensible heart ?"

"Y/n..." He sighed at how clueless you were acting.

"I just don't know !" You shouted feeling lost and overwhelmed.

"You do know, you just don't want to admit it" He shouted back and you hated how right he was just now.

You send a death glare at him and as you were both staring at each other pupils you were hating so much. Oh god so much, he was freaking annoying.

How could you've had forgotten that.

That's why when he put a hand on your cheek and crahsed his lips on yours you put your arms around his neck and pulled him even closer.

Wait... What ?

You were kissing Lando. Everything was perfectly fine you were kissing Lando. OH. MY. GOD.

The kiss was rough and hungry, like he had wait for so long to do just that. Lando's lips were moving against yours but you wanted so much more.

Apparently him too, because at the second you opened your mouth a bit to gave him access he deepened the kiss. After what felt like an eternity but yet not enough he backed away a little from the kiss to breathed.

"Well..." He started but you cut him off. "Shut up"

You pulled him back into another kiss and god he wasn't complaining at all. Your lips were feeling so great against his, right were they belong.

His eyes widened when you pulled on the hem of his shirt. "Are you sure ?"

"Never been surer in my life" You replied tossing his shirt away in the room. He didn't waste anymore time "Can I ?" he asked his hands on the hem of your shirt.

"Sure, do whatever you want" He took off your shirt of you and started roaming your body with his hands.

"You really shouldn't say things like this."

Before you could replied his lips collapsed again with yours. That was a feeling he could never get used to, his favorite in the world, his lips on your lips.

When you opened your eyes the next morning you're welcolmed by two eyes, and what beatiful eyes, staring at you.

"You're creepy" You chuckled while hiding your face in the crook of his neck.

"And you're gorgeous, morning beautiful" He told you with a sleepy voice, and you were loving that voice. This was definitly the best night you've ever had in your life.

"Morning" You said back snuggling a bit closer to him.

"I love you"

You're sleepiness disappear instantly at his words and you pushed yourslef on your elbows to look at him eyes widened.

"I'm sorry, that was really fast and-" He started apologizing, but you cut him with a chast kiss.

"I love you too Lan" You whispered like it was a secret.

And he smiled, the brightess smile you've had ever seen on his face.

"We should probably get up and make our suitcase" He suggested, and got you just wanted to stay all day long in this bed with him, but he was right.

Max and Pietra woulod probably came soon.

When their car parked on the driveway Lando and you were already in front of the cottage your suitcases in hand. You both seat in the back of the car.

As you and Lando gave your heart out on 'So american' by Olivia Rodrigo, Pietra and Max exchange a look.

"Looks like it works out at the end" She said and he just smiled at her agreeing.

[radioactiveparker]

The Breakfast Club - Eddie Munson X F!Cheerleader!Reader

Part Two - Low Tolerance For Dehydration

Chapter Summary - We begin to learn the truth about why these kids are the way they are. (A retelling of The Breakfast Club, written and directed by John Hughes.)

Chapter Warnings - Characters are all 18+ / Strong Language / Illusions to Abuse/ Abusive Relationship / Dysfunctional Families / Kleptomania / References to Religious Beliefs / Sexual References / Drug References / Stereotyping / Angst

Word Count - 7.2k

(Series Masterlist) (Masterlist)

(Part One) (Part Two) (Part Three) (Part Four) (Part Five)

-----

Saturday.

October 25th, 1984.

Hawkins High Library.

10:30am.

~~~~~

After that rather thrilling event courtesy of Eddie Munson and Principal Higgins, the next two hours went on forever.

The grinding of gears, the hum of the electric motor, and the movement of the clock's hands invaded the silence. The second hand made a rapid clicking sound. You counted each one. At twenty-second intervals, the minute hand squeaked. The clock sounds became the percussion for a lullaby that almost lulled you to sleep.

Eddie remained seated next to you, spending the better part of an hour sulking that he had just wrecked the rest of his winter. The rest of the time, he spent scratching markings into the table with his car keys (which you immediately told him to stop out of annoyance. He ignored you, of course) and counting all the pictures he can see in the medullary rays of the wood. In his mind, he connected the lines and dots. Before his eyes, they formed the crude outline of a shapely woman with her legs rudely spread apart. He used the notebook paper to cover it up. He did not want to spend the next five and a half hours with a boner he couldn't get rid of. Especially one given to him by something as ridiculous as an imaginary table lady.

Steve was lazily picking off the fuzz of a tennis ball that he found in the lost and found box behind the front desk, piling it up in a small illuminous heap. The bald patches reminded him of principal Higgin's round, balding head. He picked at it harder, really digging his fingernails into the stringy felt like it had personally offended him.

Nancy was trying to write her paper. Normally, the undisturbed silence would be prime time to work on an essay, but she began staring off into space, her mind wondering. All she had managed to write was a title 'Who Am I?', her name, the date, and the time. Each time she would bring herself back to reality, she would check her watch, then erase the time and write the new one. 

Robin was hunched over, hidden in her hair as she scribbled over her cherry red converse. She wrote whatever came to mind; her name, milk duds, a drawing of the top half of a naked woman, a copy of her fingerprint. She kept going until the red had almost disappeared.

You rested your head in your palms, eyes looking up as you counted the tiles on the ceiling. You got to thirty eight when Eddie nudged you. You opened your mouth to scold him for making you lose count, when he slid a sheet of paper over to you. He'd drawn a tic-tac-toe grid and placed an X in the centre square. You grabbed a pencil and drew a circle in the top right corner, deciding to keep him entertained before he starts causing more trouble. He smiled cutely when you slid the paper back to him. 

The two of you played until both sides looked like a gingham tea towel. Much to your distaste, you lost 38 - 43. Eddie pulled tongues as the victor and you decided then to never play tic-tac-toe with Eddie again; you didn't want his head getting bigger than it already was.

The library door swung open and Principal Higgins stood with a scowling face.

"All right. Who has to go to the rest room?"

All hands shot up. 

Higgins gave a single nod, signalling that everyone could get out of their seats. You groaned in relief when your spine cracked, though you still had pins and needles in your left foot and your butt was numb from sitting on it for too long. The Principal lead you all down the hall to the restrooms, where he unlocked them with a jingling of keys.

"Two minutes for the boys. Three minutes for the girls." He stared at his watch like he was already starting the count down.

"How come they get an extra minute?" Eddie complained, pointing at the group of girl who all had their arms crossed, looking at him like the answer was obvious.

"Try and remember your biology, Munson." Principal Higgins rolled his eyes, still staring at his watch.

"Oh, right. Does that mean Harrington gets another minute?"

Annoyed, Steve pushed through into the bathroom. Eddie followed behind, laughing manically. 

The two of them rarely used the schools restroom, even for Eddie who was kind of a slob, they were too disgusting. Students only ever really used them to hide when skipping classes. The walls were covered in graffiti and a few of the tiles were cracked, and there was always something on the floor that made the bottom of their shoes sticky. They didn't even want to try to guess what it was. Steve stood in front of the urinal and unzipped his jeans. Eddie hopped onto the countertop and fished through his hair to retrieve the cigarette from behind his ear.

"You want one?"

Steve took a peek behind him. "Oh yeah, ten of 'em please. I need to prove I'm a man."

"Whatever man." That was the last time Eddie would offer Steve anything ever again.

He fumbled in his pocket, took out a lighter and lit his cigarette.

Meanwhile, the state of the girls bathroom wasn't much better. The floors were less sticky, but there was always tissue all over the place, and a funny smell in the air.

"Is this a drag, or what?" You looked at your tired eyes in the reflection and started complaining about them to the girls. 

Nancy rummaged through her purse, pulling out perfume bottles, make-up, compacts, brushes; an incredible amount of things that she probably didn't need. Nancy very helpfully let you borrow the make-up out of her bag. You were looking as good as new in no time.

"You want one?" Robin pulled out a pack of spearmint gum and stuck one in her mouth.

You looked at her repulsed. "Robin, you can't eat in the bathroom. What if you get VD of the mouth or something!"

She paused like she hadn't thought about that. She quickly walked to the sink and washed her hands. She grabbed a paper towel to dry them and then used it to open the door. She held the door open with her foot, wadded up the paper towel and made a three pointer into the waste bin. A shot that even Steve would find impressive, even if she did surprise herself making it in the first place. She didn't show that though. 

"You're into washing your hands, but you eat inches away from a live toilet?" 

She gave you an offended glare her, and left the bathroom, letting the door close on you and Nancy. You turned to Nancy and gave her a look that said 'I'm not crazy for thinking that am I?'. 

"I mean that was a little disgusting, but you could have worded it a bit nicer."

She walked out, leaving you wondering whose side she was on.

"I didn't mean to upset you." You called after Robin. "I was just reacting to something I thought was seriously weird. I mean, I'll listen if you needed some one to talk to about it." 

Robin didn't give you the time of day, just rolled her eyes to herself. She didn't appreciate the way you worded your apology; like she was the one with the problem.

"Let's go. Shake it off!" Higgins called into the boys bathroom.

Even with the extra minute you were given, the girls still managed to be done before the boys. Eddie opened the door, smelling strongly of tobacco.

"Where's Harrington?"

"Drowned." Eddie said bluntly.

The Principal crossed to the door and peaked his head in. "Alright, Harrington, c'mon. Lets go!"

Steve made a few final adjustments to his hair, raking his fingers through it to position his chestnut curls perfectly on his head. Principal Higgins dragged him out before he could finish.

~~~~~

11:30am

~~~~~

You laid across three chairs as some sort of make shift bed and tucked your coat underneath your head for a pillow. You had planned to take a nap, but Nancy had decided to sharpen her pencil. The winding and grinding of the sharpener grated your ears. She knew she was making a lot of noise, but she couldn't seem to get a good point on her pencil. She took it out of the sharpener, blew the dust from the tip, and examined it before shoving it back in. She had three quarters left of her pencil.

Steve had a straight leg on the front table and reached over to touch his toes, stretching his hamstring. How he did it in those jeans was beyond you. His little grunts of effort and heavy breaths as he switched legs annoyed you almost as much as Nancy's sharpening. Robin was in her same seat, picking at her black, chipped nails in her lap and chewing her gum loudly out of spite. How you had gone from sitting in hours of silence, to a sudden ruckus when you wanted to sleep was just your luck. 

Eddie had chosen to sit in front of you on the table, ripping out pages of textbooks from the history section. 

Nancy winced at each tear. "What are you doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing, Princess? I'm vandalising public property." He said it like it was obvious, loudly ripping another page to emphasise his point. "You get off on being stupid, or something?"

"You're such a waste."

Eddie placed the book gently on the table, giving it a few taps for good measure. He sat up straight, hands on his knees like a teachers pet. He nodded sarcastically in agreement. "You're absolutely right. It's wrong to destroy literature. It's such fun."

He jumped down off the desk, kicking up loose pages as he stalked over to his next victim: the card files. He pulls out the entire draw completely and lugged it back over to his spot on the desk. The unexpected slam of it on the table startled you, and you sat up with a huff. There was no way you were getting sleep any time soon.

Nancy scoffed as he began yanking the catalogue cards out and putting them back in a random order, creating a horrible mess for someone to sort out later. She continued to grind the sharpener.

"Big deal." You mocked her, she and the sharpener were really starting to get on your nerves. "It's not like there's anything better to do."

Eddie was impressed. He turned to you. "You grounded tonight?" 

His question threw you off, but you knew there was definitely more to it. "No, why?"

He looked surprised that you weren't, but he didn't know that your parents weren't even aware you were here in the first place. "Reefer Rick is throwing a Halloween party down by Lover's Lake tonight. Wanna come?"

Apparently, all it took was a few games of tic-tac-toe to get into Eddie's good books. There was a part of you that wanted to go. It was another excuse to get away from your parents, but you didn't want to imagine the shit you would get from Carol if she found out you had gone to a party with Eddie 'The Freak' Munson. Then Billy crept back into your mind. Your blood went cold at the thought. You knew he wasn't here, but you expected him to come charging through the doors any second now. You had to make sure he knew you weren't interested in Eddie. You didn't want another repeat of this morning.

"Why would I want to go to that crackhead's place? I'll probably catch a disease."

Eddie looked a little disappointed and a little offended that you had insulted his friend, but he hid it well. So why did you feel kind of bad?

You looked up at him with big eyes. "I mean, my mom doesn't like me going to parties anyway."

"What about your dad?"

"If I do what my mom doesn't want me to it's because my dad says it's okay.  And if I do what my dad doesn't want me to it's because my mom says it's okay. It's like this whole big monster deal. It lasts forever and it's a total drag. It's like any minute: divorce." You hated talking about your parents, but I felt good to get off your chest. Carol and Tommy never cared to ask.

"Who do you like better?"

"Huh?"

"You like your old man better than your mom?"

"They're both screwed." You sighed. You didn't like where this conversation was headed anymore. Nancy had stopped sharpening her pencil and you could feel everyone listening in.

"If you had to pick?"

"I don't know. I mean, they must have loved each other at some point, but I guess I wasn't around for that part. So I don't think any of them really care about me either. They just use me as ammunition in their little wars."

"HA!" Your response had provoked a laugh from Robin. A laugh that let you know she thought you deserved it. She was more offended by that comment in the bathroom than you had thought.

"You're just feeling sorry for yourself." Steve added, shaking out his legs.

You didn't find it very fair that they were ganging up on you all of a sudden. "If I didn't, nobody else would."

"Oh, you're breaking my heart." But Steve didn't sound sincere at all. You weren't enjoying this side of Steve one bit. And it was all because of Billy. 

"Do you get along with your parents?" Eddie sided with you.

"If I say, yes, I'm a real idiot, right?"

"I think you're an idiot anyway. But if you say you get along with your parents, you'll be a liar, too."

"You know something, I've just about had it with you. If we weren't in school, man, I'd wail all over you. They'd have to pick you up with tweezers."

Eddie didn't seem fazed. Eddie got threats like this all the time, it wasn't anything he hadn't already heard before. 

"I don't really get along with my parents." Nancy piped up, trying to get the boys attention away from each other so there wasn't a brawl in the middle of the library.

"Yeah right, you're every parent's wet dream."

"That's the problem." She paused, you saw her eyes glaze over then looked at you. "I don't think my parents ever loved each other either."

Everyone was silent, looking at her like they were waiting for her to burst into tears. She regretted bring it up.

"They must have married for some reason?" Steve asked. Whether it was because he was being nosey, or he was concerned for her, you couldn't tell.

"My mom was younger. My dad was older, but he had a cushy job, money, came from a good family. So they bought a nice house at the end of the cul-de-sac and started their nuclear family."

"Screw that."

"Yeah, screw that."

"I could see you not liking them for making you wear those kind of clothes, but, shit, what else would you be doing if you weren't busy making yourself a better citizen?" Eddie clearly hadn't read the room.

"Why do you have to insult everybody?" Eddie was really pushing Steve's limits. You noticed it happened especially when it came to Nancy.

"I'm being honest, asshole. I'd expect you to know the difference." He said it like he had had a similar argument with Steve in the past.

Nancy raised her middle finger at him. 

"Whoa, obscene gestures from such a pristine girl."

"I'm not that pristine." Nancy argued, though she regretted it almost immediately.

She cleared her throat and make her way back to her seat. 

"Are you a virgin?" She caught Steve's eye, they shared a look, but Eddie missed it. "I'll bet you a million dollars that you are."

"Would you take that bet, Robin?"

"Not really."

"That's the last time I call you 'Robin', Buckley."

He continued. "Have you ever been felt up? Over the bra, under the blouse, shoes off...hoping to God your parents don't walk in?" 

Nancy was getting upset. "Do you want me to puke?"

"Over the panties, no bra, blouse unbuttoned, Calvin's in a ball on the front seat past eleven on a school night?"

You squeezed your thighs together. His voice was deep and masculine, sending you off into an alluring day dream. You found yourself in the back seat of a car, a strong man towering over you, rough hands caressing your soft skin. He takes off your bra, exposing your breasts to the cold air of the night, nipples hardening. He's groping them, kissing them, loving on them. Your moaning and he's trailing his lips lower. Your hands thread themselves in his brown, wavy hair. He's pulling your panties down with his teeth, looking up at you with those big brown eyes of his. And suddenly you were in the back of his van, pulling off his patched, demin jacket until he's leaning over you completely naked. He put his lips to your ear, whispering --

"Hey, why don't you leave her alone!" Steve breaks you out of your imagination.

"You gonna make me?"

"Yeah."

"You and whose army?"

"Just me and five of my fingers. I hit you. You hitting floor. Anytime you're ready."

Eddie realised that Steve was being serious, but doesn't believe he is quite capable of making good on his threat. 

"Yeah? You want a black eye to go with that split lip? You couldn't fight Billy Hargrove, what makes you think you can beat me?"

Your chest tightened at his name and your eyes darted to the door. They stayed shut. It calmed you a little, but your heart was still beating against your ribcage. You placed a hand there in case it burst out. You wondered how Eddie knew about the fight at the party, you hadn't seen him there. But then again, word travels fast around Hawkins High. Your breathing became heavy. All this arguing was making you dizzy. You could do without a repeat of last Thursday.

"Try me."

"Eddie." You pleaded him not to retaliate, swallowing down your pride for a second of peace.

He looked at you, and suddenly Eddie was not in the mood to fight Steve. The fear in your eyes scared him a little. You were serious about them not fighting. But luckily for you, Eddie knew when to stop. Besides, there were ladies present, and he was a gentleman.

To some extent.

 "Whatever man, I'm not getting into this with you."

"Why not?"

"Why not?" He paused. He wasn't going to tell Steve he did it for you. "'Cause I'd kill you. It's real simple, you'd die and your fucking parents would sue me and It'd be a big mess and I don't care enough about you to bother. So drop it."

"Chicken."

"You know, you should see a doctor. I think those steroids are frying your brain."

Steve just laughed him off, believing that he had scared Eddie into yielding and he was just giving one last dig to preserve his pride. Eddie looked a Nancy, but she was already staring at him. 

"What is it that makes you act like such a fool?"

"I'm not getting enough vitamin B."

Steve fumed. He wanted his fist to connect with that smartass mouth of his. "Let's end this right now. You don't talk to her...you don't look at her and you don't even think about her! You understand me?"

"I'm trying to help her." He said it like it was as plain as a pikestaff.

"Help me?" Nancy was insulted. "Why don't you work on yourself?"

"I did. I finished last Tuesday. Now I'm working on the rest of the world." He pointed at Steve, who looked about ready to swing. "I could help you, big boy."

"Spare me."

"I can help a lot of people, all they have to do is ask nicely."

"I'll kill you." Steve threatened with a clenched fist.

Eddie looked unmoved. He heard threats like that at least five times a day. "Well, I should just let you and everyone else who wants to kill me fight for the privilege."

There was a rumbling from beyond the library door. In a flurry of panic, everyone got themselves into position, acting like they hadn't moved an inch away from their seats. Eddie sat next to you again, accidently kicking your foot under the table. You kicked it back in annoyance. He did it again, only on purpose this time. 'What a child' you thought. You put your coat on the back of your chair and sat up straight, expecting Principal Higgins to come storming in.

Everybody visibly relaxed when Carl, the janitor, came rumbling in with his music playing quietly from his radio, dragging his cart behind him. He had a face you didn't quite know how to take; he looked friendly enough, but could turn at the snap of your fingers. He was skinny and stood at a height of 5"8, with a limp of a man who worked hard for his living. He smiled everyone, but the only one who seems the acknowledge him was Robin. She returned the smile and gave him a small wave, in hopes of being nice but not letting the others see. He went into the librarians office and grabbed the waste basket.

"Hey Sweetheart, your dad's here." 

You gave him an unamused smile and kicked his shin under the desk once more.

Carl came out of the office and dumped the basket on his cart. He left his cart in the main library and walked down the pathway to grab another trash bin at the back of the room. 

"Hey, Carl?"

Carl paused in surprise that any student here, with the exception of Robin, would talk to him. He turned around, but Eddie still remained facing the front, putting his back to him. 

"How does one become a janitor."

Everyone supressed a giggle, even Steve despite his dislike for Eddie. Only Robin remained silent. She didn't find it very funny.

"You want to become a janitor?" Carl raised an eyebrow.

"No I just wanna know how one becomes a janitor because Steve here, is very interested in perusing a career in the custodial arts."

Steve stopped laughing at that. Carl scratched his head. He knew that they were making fun of him. But Carl wasn't one someone should mess with. He turned off his radio, pulled off his rubber gloves and shoved them in his back pocket.

"You guys think I'm just a lowly janitor. Some fucking untouchable peasant. Maybe so, but following a broom around after shitheads like you for five years, I've learned a few things. I read your notes, I go through your letters. I listen to your conversations. I am the eyes and ears of this institution. I know where you are now and I know where you'll be in the future."

Everyone exchanged worried looks as Carl moved to tower in front of Eddie. "You got ten years, max. Drugs. Rundown trailer in West Texas. Whore wife takes the baby, you shoot a fatal dose. Probable? Maybe not. Possible? Think so."

He turned to you. "You get married to a guy with lots of material success. Corporate position. Big bucks. Black Jag. You have three kids, nobody gives a shit. You get divorced and have a big fuckin' heart attack at thirty-eight, thirty-nine."

Steve was next. "District sales manager for a golf club manufacturer. Shitty little compact company car, twenty-two five a year and a wife as big as a boxcar."

Finally, Nancy. "Six face-lifts and two boob jobs by forty and a husband with more girlfriends than anniversaries."

He stepped back and put on his gloves. The stunned reaction on everybody's faces made him smile. "But I'm just a janitor." He shrugged.

And with that, he grabbed his cart, wheeled it around and headed out. He paused at the door and looked at the clock. 

"By the way, that thing's twenty minutes slow." He winked as he left and everybody groaned. 

~~~~~

12:30pm

~~~~~

Everybody was bored out of their skulls after the shock of Carl's speech had worn off. You took the time to think about what he had said. He had tried to put a downer on you, but the life he had predicted for you sounded like paradise, compared to now. Even if you did only have twenty years left to live. As crazy as it sounded, it gave you a bit of hope. There was a chance that you could work up the courage to leave Billy and meet someone nice, or at least wealthy. You had never given any thought about having kids, especially not with Billy, but now, maybe you could see yourself with a kid. You'd want a boy, and he'd look just like his father; Curly brown hair, big russet eyes, and a toothy smile. What would you name him? Would you name him after his father? Maybe Michael, or Christopher, James. Edward? You liked that name. 

Your eyes flashed to the door as it opened. Principal Higgins strolled in with a frown of his face, even though no one had done anything to upset him yet.

Yet.

"Thirty minutes for lunch." He declared.

"Excuse me Sir, I think the cafeteria would be a more suitable place to eat lunch."

"I don't care what you think, Harrington." 

Steve sunk back into his seat.

"Uh, Dick?" Eddie cleared his throat. "Sorry, Richard. Will milk be made available to us? Someone like Steve could choke to death on a dry sandwich."

"I have a low tolerance for dehydration, Sir." Robin added.

"I've seen her dehydrated, Sir." Steve sat up again. "It's pretty gross."

You wondered if that was true, or if he was just playing along. The things he said about her, you wondered if they knew each other. Probably not, you brushed off the thought. They were on complete opposite ends of the spectrum, there was no way they knew each other.

Principal Higgins scowled.

Eddie stood and raised his hands like he was trying to calm a wild animal. "Relax, I'll get it."

"Ah,ah,ah. Grab some wood there, Munson. You think I was born yesterday? You don't fool me for one minute. I'm not having you roaming these halls."

Eddie plopped back into his seat with a defeated sigh. It was worth a shot.

"You." He pointed at Steve. 

He eyed up the other students, skipping over Eddie as he decided who else was most suitable to leave. You sank into your seat. You did not fancy having some alone time with Steve. Steve stared directly at the Principal before darting his eyes to the right where Nancy was sat, signalling for him to pick her. She sat up to make herself more evident. 

Higgins ignored them and pointed a finger at you. "And you. There's a soft drinks machine in the faculty lunch room."

You broke into a cold sweat. This was going to be the most awkward ten minutes of your life. Either Steve was just going to pretend you didn't exist, or he was going to absolutely grill you. You hoped for the former. 

As you reluctantly got out of your seat, Steve held out a hand to the others for money. Nancy took out a change purse from her bag and handed him fifty cents. Robin does the same with the loose change in her jeans pocket. Eddie fished through his coat pockets. He found some assorted change, crumpled gum wrappers, some loose tobacco and a screw. He handed it all to Steve. 

Steve made his way out, not even looking to see if you're following him. You do, of course, but you lagged behind him, not feeling particularly comfortable being alone with him. You counted your steps as you walked, fiddling with the delicate chain around your neck. It was a simple design: just your name written with gold, cursive lettering. But it was the only jewellery you never took off. Your parents had bought it for you when you had started cheerleading at eight years old. It was a reminder of when life was much more simple, when you believed that your parents actually loved each other, that they loved you. 

A minute passed and you already couldn't stand the silence. You dreaded it, but you knew this would probably be the only opportunity you would get to hash out your grievances.

"Why do you hate me?" A forward start, but at least it's a start.

"You know why."

"Look, what Billy did wasn't my fault --"

"Of course it is. If you hadn't been there in the first place he wouldn't've showed up."

"Hey, I didn't even tell him I was going to that stupid party. He was there anyway. If you hadn't come over and butted into our argument, maybe you wouldn't have that split lip."

"My parties aren't stupid."

"Is that seriously all you took from that?"

"No..." He paused. After hearing your side of the story, he was beginning to feel like a fool. "What were you guys even arguing about?"

You sighed. "Billy and I had plans to go to this drive in movie theatre. I don't think he wanted to watch a movie though, I think he was just hoping to get lucky." The two of you had stopped walking. Steve looked at you intently, encouraging you to carry on. You shifted on your feet. "If I'm being completely honest I didn't really want to go, but then Carol asked me to go to your party and I took it as an excuse not to go with Billy. I knew he would be angry if I cancelled our plans last minute, so I told him I was sick. Biggest fucking mistake of my life."

"So you went to the party and Billy caught you out in your lie."

"Yeah. Turns out one of his friends had asked him to go but he'd declined 'cause we were going on a date. He accepted the offer once I'd cancelled our plans."

Steve started walking again. You followed next to him this time. "I know Billy is a bit of a shitbag, but why didn't you want to go on your date? I mean, it seemed like a good time."

There was no such thing as a 'good time' with Billy. He had his moments, sure, but he was as cranky as a wet hen. Time with him was like trying to swim with rocks on your back. He sucked all the fun out of everything until you started drowning. You didn't tell Steve that though. 

"I just wasn't in the mood to be around him, is all." You brushed him off. "But he's bringing it up all the time, and were arguing all of the time. Even in school."

"Is that why you're here today?"

His question made you pause. He stopped a couple of steps ahead of you and turned around when he saw you weren't next to him anymore. You played it off like you were itching your leg and jogged up to him. The two of you made it to the teacher's lounge. 

The first thing you noticed was that it was very brown. The floor and ceiling had the same white speckled tile that ran throughout the entire school, but everything else was just ... brown. Brown wallpaper, brown leather sofas, brown table, brown countertop. Even the fridge was brown. The vending machine was in the far corner.

"Why are you here?" You asked Steve, hoping he hadn't realised that you hadn't answered his question. 

"Me? I'm here because my father and my coach don't want me to blow my ride." He started feeding the change into the machine. "They think my intensity's for shit. You see, I have a different set of standards. I get treated different because Coach thinks I'm a star. So does my old man. But you know what? I don't care. I'm not a star because I want to be a star, I'm a star because I got good legs and reflexes. I'm like a racehorse. That's about how involved I am in what's happening to me."

You nodded, but you had a suspicion that that wasn't the whole truth. "Yeah, so why are you really here?"

Steve was annoyed that he hadn't managed to persuade you. "Forget it."

You studied the set of lockers on the other side of the room. You walked over to them out of curiosity, trying your luck with one of the doors. To your surprise it opened. 

Steve caught you out of the corner of his eye. "You really shouldn't be doing that."

Inside lay a set of keys attached to a green Hawkins High lanyard, a pack of cigarettes, a 'thank you teacher' mug, and a Prince's Purple Rain album on vinyl. Steve came up behind you, looking inside and letting the soda cans thunk loudly at the bottom of the vending machine.  

"This is a teacher's stuff?" He asked surprised.

"Yeah. Does this mean that they're actually human?" You laughed together for the first time.

Daringly, you pocketed the pack of cigarettes in your cardigan pocket and took the record. 

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. No, put them back." 

"C'mon Steve, when are you ever going into the teacher's lounge again? Besides, it'll give us something to do while were stuck in that god damned library."

You shut the locker door and brushed past him. You gathered up the soda cans, giving Steve his share to carry and made your way back to the library.

"It was pretty strange looking at teacher's personal shit, huh?" You said, examining the purple record sleeve.

Steve shrugged, he'd seen stranger things. "I went over to Coach's house for dinner once during the summer. It was really weird to see how he lives."

He paused, anticipating a question, but you just looked at him to carry on.

"His wife was fat. And one of his kids was in a wheelchair. It was kinda sad. He was a nice kid."

"If he invites you over to his house, why does he shit on you?" 

"He and my old man are working to get me a scholarship. It's not an economic issue. Scholarships make the newspaper. They think I have a shot at a full ride. They think I deserve a Big Ten school."

You simply nodded and walked through the library doors. The others were gathered in the corner by the comfy chairs. Eddie was holding a book opened to a page displaying a man with elephantitus to the nuts like he was reading children a bedtime story.

"How do you suppose he rides a bike?"

The clattering of soda cans on the table drew their attention away. They all walked over to grab a can. Before the others could take one, Eddie reached out and shook one furiously.

You look at him like he was crazy. Perhaps he was. "That's going to spray all over you."

"Not necessarily."

He put the drink back with the others and moved the cans around so than no one would know which was was shook up. 

"You're such a dingus." Robin bravely took a can first.

Everyone else followed before taking their seats and pulling out their lunches. You simply took out an apple, loosing your appetite after seeing a man with elephantitus to the nuts. You noticed Eddie didn't have any lunch as he surveyed everyone else's. 

"Where's your lunch?"

"You're wearing it." He winked. 

You curled your lip in disgust, but felt about as red as your apple. 

"You're nauseating." Nancy complained, opening her lunch.

"Look who's talking. You don't care what you put in your mouth." He eyed Nancy's lunch like she had just shown him a plate full of snails. "What is that?"

"Sushi."

"Sushi?"

"Rice, raw fish, and seaweed."

"You wont accept a guys tongue in your mouth, but you'll eat that?"

She scoffed impatiently. "Can I eat?"

"I don't know, give it a try."

The room went silent as everybody watched Steve pull out his lunch from a large brown grocery bag; three sandwiches, a family-sized bag of chips, an apple, a banana, a bag of cookies and a carton of milk.

"Are you really going to eat all that?" Robin asked in shock.

"No, I'm only going to eat half."

"What are you going to do with the other half?"

"Shoving it up Eddie's ass."

How charming. He reached for his can and everybody shrunk away, thinking it might explode. He cracked the tab. 

Nothing happened.

Robin took out a sandwich covered in saran wrap. She unwrapped it and pulled the bread apart, starting to work on it like a mad scientist. She tossed the meat away, blindly whipping it to the side. It slapped on the wall and stuck there. She reached into her sweater pocket and pulled out a bag of chocolate M&M's. She tore the bag open and dumped all of it on the buttered bread. Out of her coat pocket she pulled out a little baggie filled with Captain crunch cereal and sprinkled it over the M&M's. She closed the mess of a sandwich and took a huge bite. She noticed that everyone was watching her. 

"You are bizarre." Eddie thought Steve's lunch was bad.

She reached for her Pepsi to wash it all down. She put it to her mouth and popped it. The soda sprayed cleanly into her mouth. 

After the fizz was gone, she smirked at Eddie. "Nice try, dingus."

"What do you have?" He turned to you, watching take a bite into your apple.

You handed your bag over to him, rather than speaking with a full mouth. He started pulling things out. He pulled out a sandwich, a thermos of soup, which he opened and give a big whiff, and a bottle of water.

"Well Sweetheart, this is a very nutritious lunch. All the food groups are represented. Did your mom marry Mr. Rodgers?"

Eddie stood so he was front and centre of the room, all eyes on him. 

"This is my impression of life at our darling Sweetheart's house." He gestured to you and your face flushed.

"Hello, dear. I'm home from the coalmine." Eddie impersonated your father.

Eddie quickly played your mother. "Oh, hello, sweetie pie. Dinner's almost ready. I'm serving stuffing instead of potatoes." 

"My favourite!" 

His voice turned high and shrill, playing you. "Hi, Dad! Yippee, you're home! I danced in a skimpy skirt in front of hundreds of people today. I went to church and I wrote Grandma a letter. Now can I have a pen pal?"

"Dear, isn't our daughter swell?" 

Quiet and motherly. "Yes Dear, isn't life swell?" 

Eddie mimed your mother kissing your father, then father kissing mother, and then your father punching your mother in the face. Suddenly it was not so funny anymore. 

Your eyes were wet. You hated how much that hurt. It wasn't his words that hurt you, it was how much you wished it were true. 

You bravely stood up. "No, it's more like --"

"Dad? Is it okay if I shoot heroin?"

You lowered your voice, playing your father. You held an imaginary newspaper in your hands, not taking your eyes off it and pretending that you weren't paying attention. "If it'll make you happy, pumpkin." 

You extended your fingers and blew on them, doing your mother and her fresh nail polish. "What are you talking about, Frank?! How's she going to wear her Sunday dress with holes in her arms? We are going to church aren't we?

"It's okay. Never mind. I won't be a junkie." You said sadly.

"Now, just wait a minute. If you want to be a junkie--" 

"I'm not going to be the only woman at the congregation with a junkie daughter. Now what about church?" Your mother said.

"Go by yourself!" Said your father.

"With pleasure! I'm taking Y/N." 

"Over my dead body!"

"I love her more than you do!"

"Go to hell!"

Everyone looks at you with a hint of sympathy. Even Eddie.

"Do you wish they'd get a divorce?" He asked.

"No."

"Why not?" 

"I'd have to live with one or the other. And I don't know which one is worse." You laughed, but there was no humour behind it.

"Whose next?" Eddie ask, like he didn't already know he was going to single out Steve. Eddie pointed at him. "You're next."

"Yeah, no thanks."

"You an orphan?"

"I don't need to dump on my parents. Especially when they're not here to defend themselves." Eddie gave him a look like he was being chicken.

"What about your family?" Steve asked Eddie. He wanted him to have a taste of his own medicine.

"Mine? Real simple, pal."

He climbed onto the table, really setting the stage and getting himself into character. His eyelids lowered and his body moved clumsily, like he was drunk. "Stupid, worthless, no good, goddamn freeloading, son of a bitch, big mouth, know-it-all, asshole, jerk!"

He stands up straight, crossing his arms and raising the pitch of his voice. "You forgot ugly, lazy and disrespectful." His mother said.

"Shut up bitch!" He smacked the air, hitting his invisible mother. He yelled it so loud you were worried Higgins was about to storm through the door.

As his father, he threw a punch. Eddie dramatically dropped from the table and fell to the ground. He stood up, brushed himself off and took a bow. The show was over. 

"Then they make me work to pay off the dentist for the teeth he busts."

"Is that for real?" Nancy looks like she's going to start crying for him. 

"You wanna come over some time?"

She didn't want to believe that something like that could happen to anyone. Even someone as vexing as Eddie. Nancy decided then to never complain about her parents again.

"That's part of your image. I don't believe a word." Steve brushed him off. His re-enactment hadn't moved him at all. 

You wondered if he was right. You had been so truthful about yours, you would feel ashamed if he had lied about his.

Eddie actually looked hurt. "You don't believe it, huh?" 

He whipped off his red shirt and pulled up the sleeve of his black t-shirt. He shoved his arm in Steve's face, displaying a grotesque purple scar. Steve recoiled away from it, but Eddie forced him to look at it. You subtly tugged at the sleeve of your cardigan. You could feel the bruises of Billy's fingers purpling on your wrist.

"You believe that? It's about the size of a cigar." Eddie spoke through gritted teeth. "That's what you get in my house when you spill paint in the garage."

Eddie was breathless with anger. His muscles were tensed up so tightly he thought he was going to give himself a full-body cramp. He needed something to calm himself down. Luckily, he knew just the thing.

~~~~~

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~~~~~

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I can imagine preggo wife literally talking and talking and talking in the middle of a movie and gets offended and leaves when Joel tells her to quiet down

Joel Dealing with Preggo Wife : Yapper

notes: Oh I had fun writing this! no warnings (maybe some Fugitive and Raiders spoilers), Enjoy!

- - - -

Joel’s pretty excited for movie night. It’s one of the few films the two of you don’t argue over and can pretty much watch the entire way through without disruption.

Or at least, it used to be.

Joel settles against the couch armrest with his feet propped up, knees bent slightly so you have room to sit in front. He’s got any snack you could think of within an arm reach away, and he’s got the title on pause so you can scooch your fat booty and big belly comfortably. Usually takes about 15 minutes of squirming, smacking his chest to “fluff” it up, adding a pillow at his crotch, then taking it away because you like his hard cock there instead, elbow in his groin and then his knee, then you gotta get up to pee before starting the whole process over.

“OK Im ready!” You say after 15 minutes on the dot, snuggling close to him with the back of your head rested against the crook of his neck.

He finally hits play, and the Lucasfilm logo flashes across the screen. The tropical forest and ominous music plays as the familiar font of Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark fade on to the screen.

“Joel. Joel. Hey Joel.” 

“Y-yes?”

“Did you know Indiana was named after George Lucas dog? Who also was the physical inspiration for chewy?” You ask  rhetorically. 

It takes him a second to understand you’re asking him a question. “What?”

“Chewbacca! From Star Wars!”

“Oh ok neat,” he says with some enthusiasm, but quick to end it and get back to watching the movie—

“Yeah also Sean Connery is also apparently—well guess how much older he is to Harrison Ford.”

“Um—I don’t—I don’t know.” Joel says slowly, watching as Indy carefully removes the sand from the pouch and weighs it to the gold idol.

“C’mon, guess!”

“I really don’t know, can we—“

“12 years older than Harrison in Last Crusade! My mom was like ‘WHAT no way’ and I was like ‘Yes way’ and she was like ‘He's his father and he's got all that white in his hair and receding hairline’ and I was like ‘Joel's only in his late 30s and he's got white in his beard.’”

Joel can’t hear a damn thing happening on screen except the shouts about hating a pet snake named Reggie. “Wha—“

“Not that you look anything like Sean Connery in Last Crusade. Maybe in like Bond —oof he was the hottest Bond. Plus you got like a receding beard-line with all the patches, I don’t know, but my mom was like ‘Ya know Joel's got more white hair lately since you've been pregnant’ and I was like ‘Nah uh’ and she was like ‘Ya huh’ and I was like ‘Huh I wonder why that is…?’ Anyway but nope only 12 years between him and Ford—“

Joel turns to look at you with a frown, a bit confused and amazed at how you have so much to say, right now, oblivious as ever. 

It doesn’t phase your rambling one bit: “—Like damn, but you know Harrison Ford has always been handsome. But like in the bad boy kind of way, not like handsome upstanding like Christopher Reeves? When I saw The Fugitive, I was like ‘oooohhhh I'll be his wife now’ hahaha! no no I’m sorry, he’s famous and I’m not so that’s why I married you, but that's such a fall film don't you think? Minus the murder and betrayal and fucking Dr Charles Nickles like was he British or not? He was in and out of an accent the whole time? Didn't make sense to me but yeah, it's just such a fall Cozy film.”

Joel looks back at the screen and realizes Marion is already being cornered by the Nazi creep: “Ah huh—honey—“

“OH! I Love her song! It’s kind of like Leia and Han’s from Empire except the last notes are different, like it goes do doooooo instead of da dat dada daaaaaaa, That’s just John William’s for ya, but you’d never notice they were so similar!”

Joel opens his mouth to say something but nothing comes out as you continue:

“—Also I know you said my mom made good apple pie but I really wanna try to make it because I want you to like mine more, so I need you to get some apples and pie crust and butter and stuff from the store, I’ll make a list so you can get it. They said we need ground cinnamon but I think ours expired like 5 years ago so don’t forget that. And then I'm gonna tell you how to slice the apples since I can't handle sharp objects and then oh I need you to get the mixer from the top shelf and then you have to mix it all together and slice the top with like little heart patterns and then put it in the oven n stuff ‘cause it's hot and I don't wanna burn OH and that reminds me—!” 

“BABE!”

“Hmm? yes?” You ask with a innocent smile. 

“Let's try to be quiet and watch the movie ok?”

He offers a gentle smile and nods, pointing towards the TV again and settling to watch it with his beautiful wife.

His very very very unhappy wife. Your eyes haven’t left his, face now downturned in such a scowl, he should be shitting his pants.

You roll your jaw at him once, teeth grinding against one another with slitted, murderous eyes. Joel gulps, too afraid to glance back at you again. His eyes are wide staring at the commotion on the television but, now in your deadly silence, he can’t seen to focus on it at all. 

Instead of saying anything, you roll polly up to your feet, arms crossed over your chest defensively as you utter a loud “Hmph!” before storming away from the living room.

He’ll have to deal with groveling tomorrow morning when you might be a little more welcoming. But on the bright side, he’s got way more room to spread out on the couch and he can hear the movie much better now! 

......... 

He switches it off and runs upstairs to get on his knees by your side of the bed, begging for your forgiveness and promises of a Clyde's milkshake to go. 

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