#wttt branches

[doueverwonder]

Navy: Between Army, Marines, Space Force, Air Force and National Guard-- if you had to -- who would you punch?

Coast Guard: No one! They're my friends. I wouldn't punch any of them.

Navy: Army?

Coast Guard: Yeah, but I don't know why.

[abcwordsurge]

hiii surge, i'm here to bother you with branches thoughts again. I was wondering how the Branches get called to the table (Nash and Army just kinda showed up with someone else, and Coast Guard was... literally called. with a phone.) I think their recruiting slogans would be kinda funny;

Army = Be All You Can Be

Marine Corp = The Few. The Proud. The Marines.

Navy = Forged by the Sea

Air Force = Aim High

Coast Guard = Protect. Defend. Save.

Nat'l Guard = Always Ready, Always There.

Space Force = I can't actually find one for them, but someone said "The Sky is Not the Limit" and I like it so.

they'd need silly ones too, Chair Force Jokes would probably get Air (and maybe even Space) Force to show up. Same with calling Coast 'puddle pirate', or maybe listing the Branches and leaving him out. I can also imagine Gov asking for Marines and Florida pulling out a box of crayons and being like "Mmm fresh crayola, my favorite!" and it works. gov is banging his head on the table why does that work.

hiii :D

this is gonna be a long one so I'll throw a cut down here. for my own sanity

ok I've never heard those recruiting slogans before? idk how I managed to avoid them, but somehow I didn't recognize a single one. but I looked them up, yk, so I could have some context, and I found the FUNNIEST website istg. the link is here but I'm gonna include screenshots of basically the whole article because every single sentence made me laugh

starting with our buddy army!

um. gen alpha army??? giving ipad kid.

apparently they used this slogan in late 1900s, then changed it in 2001, and after trying out "army of one," "warriors wanted," "what's your warrior?" and a few others, came back to this one in 2023. I can just imagine gov trying to figure out which slogan to use to call him because of how often he changes it lol

next, the marines. gonna be real I'm a tøp fan so my first thought was "the few the proud the emotional reference???" still not sure if there's any connection between the two. will look into this later

to everyone reading this: I'll give you $10 if you make a fanfic / comic / whatever where marines says "we're a cult and the Kool aid tastes like kill"

navy!!

haha yeah. this feels very navy. confused and stressed out. love that for him

air force, perhaps my personal favorite

hey, she worked for it! she thinks she's better than everyone else and she's RIGHT!

side note the song "everybody loves me" by onerepublic always makes me think of air force. same vibe as this slogan

coast guard, also up there in my top 3 branches (along with, ofc, air and space)

I didn't know what this meant at first but. apparently. this is what the army does during peacetime

coast guard took this photo then went inside to watch while eating popcorn btw

national guard, "always ready, always there"- tragically not included in the funny article I found

I'm not much of a harry potter fan but "constant vigilance" lives rent free in my mind and this slogan is giving "constant vigilance" iykwim. nat's sleeping with one eye open. I'm sure this is completely ok for his mental health. all the branches are, I'm sure, historically very mentally stable :)

finally, space! I love her

this is really keeping in line with the "we don't know what space force is doing but she may or may not be doing something" hc. love that. she's just there yk? she's around. she's trying to figure out which slogan sounds coolest

as for the funny slogans, "puddle pirate" is actually my favorite thing ever now lol

oh and for convenience, here's an additional ask sent on this topic:

I love "in the navy"! I hadn't heard "john paul jones" before I got this ask but that's pretty good too haha. I'm imagining gov getting florida to call navy and instead florida calls texas and tells him to play this song. bc don't tell me texas doesn't know how to play guitar

and. another thing I'd never heard before. (I'm learning a lot of things through this ask.) the marines eating crayons gag?? that's crazy, I went down a shallow rabbit hole about it, can't believe I've never heard it before

for your enjoyment, here's another link to an article about crayon flavors marines would actually enjoy, including but not limited to, "room temperature pabst blue ribbon," "dry socks and ibuprofen," and "blood of the enemy."

whew. ok. I'm sick so I've had little to do all day but respond to this ask, so thanks for providing emotional sustenance in these rough and trying times, as I go through mental and physical hell (having a cold and mild fever). as always, your ideas made me very happy :D

[floridagirlboy]

back on my branchposting again. sometimes i think about the difference in slang and terms between branches. the navy in particular has some interesting ones due to a lot of slang being related to. y'know. boats and other seafaring vessels.

navy: hold on i gotta go to the head. army: the what? navy: the head army: you're going to get he— navy: no, not right now; unfortunately i'm on the clock right now. i'm going to the head. army: what do you even fucking mean, dude? navy: bathroom. going to the bathroom. army: then just say that. navy: i would, y'know, but i worry two syllables is just one too many for you. army: oh fuck off

[mur-art]

H-O-T-T-O-G-O

YOU CAN TAKE HIM HOT TO GO

Let’s be real, Arizona thinks this song is about him

[floridagirlboy]

OH SURGE... YOU KNOW ME SO WELL. SNIFFLES.

gosh this is so silly i love this. early 2000s with the invention of camcorders. goofy home videos. i feel like the states, as a collective, didn't really do it; just individual friend groups. meanwhile the branches are all pretty close so ultimately it was like. a collective thing. there are so many videos of army and marine trying to outdo each other while navy and air force chatter behind the camera, with coastie filming. a few videos of navy and coast guard racing in the pool; navy let him win a few times. except coastie genuinely won once. and from then on navy stopped letting him win and then it became an actual competition LOL. a few videos filmed across the room for air force trying to tutor army in shit and army looks like he's trying to explode the algebra with his mind. space force only popped into the picture in 2019 (his formation) but whenever he's on camera he looks like a fucking cryptid in a found footage type thing. completely accidentally. unless air force is behind the camera. otherwise he looks like a blurry figure only in the frame for a split second. always giving the most bizarre commentary in the background of others.

oh. national guard is in there too. he doesn't hang out with the active duty branches a lot but he's there from time to time. he always gets roped into some sort of questionably legal hijinks though. has somehow been the only one to avoid trespassing charges. air force is an exception because he never joined in it; he just enabled from the sidelines.

do you ever just think of the military branches having their own “statehouse” but for the military branches and them having old videos from when they were wayyy younger of them just being total idiots? like a younger Navy acting like he’s a fish in the pool while Army is laughing at him and telling him to quit, Marine doing funny faces in the background, and Coast Guard recording, all on an old shitty video camera? No? Just me? Okay.

[theywhoshantbenamed]

I have two for you

Maryland + any of the military branches

PeachyRoll (coco/geo)

Maryland has cornered the market on being a military spouse. She’s literally untouchable. God forbid a man be gnc and thriving. Don’t be fooled, they’re not there for her protection, but for everyone else’s.

I’m not as well versed in the military branches side of the fandom as others, but I am pretty fond of Nat. Guard/Maryland. Not opposed at all to Mary’s harem, but I think by now we should have a nickname for it lol

As for peachyroll, very comfy ship. A good pairing in terms of lifestyle and personality, they kinda seem good for each other. I can imagine these two being in a B movie buddy comedy, in scenarios of increasing ridiculousness.

[fandomgeeknerd]

wttt fandom genuine question

If Ben were to personify the law/government branches

would they be gov's kids or co-workers?

cus it's giving co-workers

[firsttraintovictoriaville]

Random states and their day jobs

I know the states having “day jobs” is tenuous canon at best and most likely being a state pays something (taxes from their people?) or if they had day jobs it would probably be civil servants (although isn’t being a personification of a state, already civil servitude to the nth degree?) but I digress 

Alabama- high school football coach/health teacher combo with history class coverage when needed

California - human resources assistant at a Silicon Valley company 

Colorado- rock climbing instructor 

Florida - Cashapp scammer 

Maryland- real estate agent 

Massachusetts- adjunct professor at MIT Sloan School of Management 

Mississippi - cotton and chicken farmer 

Nevada- Las Vegas croupier 

Texas- cattle rancher 

Utah- DILF 

Washington- Starbucks manager 

Virginia-  Conservationist at a history museum 

[zee-the-tree-cat]

Possible spoilers for the game Dying Light 2:

WTTT DYING LIGHT 2 AU BECAUSE I CAN:

The city of London has never truly been a coherent entity ever since the world fell around it about 20 or so years ago. Now, under a new name, Old London, three main groups battle for complete control of the city, swapping people and allegiances left and right: Survivors, or the people of the Bazaar, who're just trying to live, Peacekeepers, who are just trying to maintain order, Renegades, whose intentions are unknown but entirely selfish, and finally Neutral Parties and Pilgrims, a rather new group whose main goal is to keep calm through the storm. Previously, there used to be another group, mainly of survivors before the other branches emerged, but they were disbanded after attempting to unite the city under the heavily infested Radio Tower. They were called the Nightrunners. Disbanded about 2 years ago, it's commonly thought most if not all were killed in the attempt to take back the tower. They were the strongest of the survivors, taking inhibitors, a failed solution to the virus that could enhance the human body but killed most in seconds, in order to stay on top until that fateful day.

Peacekeepers rule with a stern fist, Survivors fight back against them, the Renegades wreck havoc where they can. The situation has been getting more and more polarized and worse, especially after the gruesome killing of one of the PK's leaders, causing tensions to rise between all groups as they try to figure out who did it.

Trust no one. Nobody is who they say they are. Everything changes at the flip of a coin. Here in Old London, everybody is infected. A wristband wraps securely around you and tracks your infection through your bloodstream. It's just a matter of time before you stay out from the UV lamps for a little too long, and turn. The zombies are littered with red biomarkers, alerting the living that these are no longer your friends, they're your enemies. Welcome to the end times. Welcome to the apocalypse.

~

Aka Human AU in an Apocalypse baybeeeee

Blue states are Bazaar folk Red states are the PK Swings are Renegades All states used to be Nightrunners Greg is a Pilgrim Gov, DC, District, and Guard are Neutral

[doueverwonder]

Why the other branches think Air Force likes Captain Marvel so much: Carol Danvers was in the Air Force.

Why Air Force likes Captain Marvel so much: “I’m so proud of you. You’ve come a long way since I found you that day by the lake. But can you keep your emotions in check long enough to take me on? Or will they get the better of you as always? I always told you you’ll be ready the day you can knock me down as yourself; well this is that moment, this is that moment Vers, turn off the light show and prove, prove to me you can beat me without—“ “I have nothing to prove to you.” Hits so much harder while watching it when sitting in between Army & Marines the two people who routinely make fun of her for being weak/soft, who refuse to take her seriously regardless of how many times she outsmarts them because it doesn’t matter unless you’re using brute force. Not to mention Airy being the only woman in the boys club that was the branches (until Space came along), the jokes about being emotional were plentiful. She’s spent her entire existence trying her best to prove that she might never be as strong but she can make up for it, she can be smart, but then she’s just branded cocky and uptight. Until suddenly she realized… she had nothing to prove to them.

also Carol Danvers was in the Air Force :p

[abcwordsurge]

Hello. I offer u a branches thought in honor of aroweek of Coast Guard and Air Force in a qpr. they didn't even mean to end up in anything more then friendship but because Airy and Coastie hang out together a lot bc they're the only ones that consistently respect each other, Space spent a lot of her formative days around Coast (i mean space is only five so u could argue she still is in her formative days) and next thing you know she's asking Airy if they can spend MORE time with him and Air is confused but sure. and next thing u know its been two years they're basically functioning as this odd little family unit whenever they're together and Airy and Coastie both know they care very deeply for each other and almost feel like they need to force it to be romantic?? which makes them drift apart, and tbh they might have never talked about it but Space got sad bc they weren't spending as much time together anymore and need for Space To Not Be Sad far outweighs Awkward Conversation About Relationship Status. I think Airy would bring it up first bc Coast (& Navy) is GREAT at stamping down emotions and avoiding awkward conversations bc it's simply a survival skill when stuck on a boat with someone u have a bad/weird relationship with for months on end. Dump of emotions that basically consist of (from both sides) "I liked seeing your face every day but as soon as I realized I liked seeing your face every day I got scared because usually thats what would be the sign to take the relationship to the 'next level' and i hated that idea and can we just go back to whatever we had going on before because I miss seeing your face every day."

Army, Navy and Marines do think they're dating but have no actual proof and tbh they're all kinda scared to ask Space about it bc she's a little cryptic and even Marines gets unnerved when he has to look her in the eyes and witness the vastness of outer space where no one can hear you scream. Airy and Coastie DO know about this rumor and they could dismiss it or they could lean into bc they're both little shits who very rarely get this kind of attention, about to announce they're getting married & formally adopting Space for the bit alone.

anyway thank you for listening happy aro awareness week from one aro to another :]

(sorry if you're not aro and I just misunderstood somewhere along the way lol)

first of all I completely missed this during aro week, sorry for the delay 😔

second of all yes, I am aro and this is a wonderful gift to receive from a fellow aro- even if I didn't see it until after aro week!

this is absolutely incredible. I always love to hear your thoughts- you always make me laugh with your headcanons. the bit about coast and navy being very good at avoiding awkward conversations is so real, I love that. also looking into space's eyes and experiencing the vastness of space pfff yeah that's canon as far as I'm concerned

also!! coast and airy!! aww!! the feeling of really liking someone but not wanting them to "like like" you is so relatable, I adore how you managed to put that feeling into words. this isn't the first I've heard of coast being in a qpr (apparently he just gives off those vibes), but it being with army is just. aaaagh I love this

[abcwordsurge]

wow ok this is wonderful. kicking my feet the whole time reading this

coastie and army are, of course, magnificent. they work so well together, both personally and professionally, because their vastly different personalities just, like, click. y'know? and they both of course care about the other a lot, which certainly helps. also- army seeing natty in coastie and wishing he had a relationship with natty the way he does with coastie? ow that hurts /pos

army and marine rivals but also found family- that's awesome, love that

army and air force's relationship gives me so many feelings. because, like, they care about each other, but army doesn't know how to act like it, and airy doesn't know how to recognize that army's trying. it's. it's giving me feels

army and national guard's relationship, too. many feels. brothers but not close, despite how hard they try- imo that is one of the most heartbreaking tropes. "if awkwardly eating dinner together sometimes and playfully bickering is all we have in the cards right now then i'm willing to play my hand every time" that is POETRY I will be thinking about that for a long while

also, you brought this up a couple times throughout- how they can "grow up" at varying speeds, based on (I assume) how quickly the branch was developed. that's very interesting, I like that a lot

navy and coastie beach buddies! love that. also, the distinction in the phrase "you're like a brother to me"- that makes so much sense actually. also! navy taking his perceived debt to coastie seriously! even though he doesn't tend to be a serious guy! that means a lot

"he doesn't mind it, though. or maybe he does. nobody really asks." wow ok that came out of nowhere and made me tear up, like, ok, wow, I want to give coastie a hug now, oh my god, that sentence did things to me /pos

airy + space + coastie is such a good trio, I like that a lot. and I like just space and coastie together- space gives coastie space room to talk, and doesn't find him annoying, and coastie doesn't find space weird, and they're just sweet

and literally one of my favorite things in fandom (or just media in general) is relationships that cannot be defined.

exhibit A: marine and navy! romantic? platonic? something in between? something else entirely? who knows! they're just Marine And Navy, y'know?

exhibit B: airy and space (my favorite duo)! sort of parental, somewhat mentor-mentee esque, a little sibling coded, with a dash of just pure best friendship- it's such an ambiguous relationship and I love that for them

anyway all this to say. banger ideas as always. also, love the signatures!

do you headcanon the branches as siblings, or family in some other way, or just, like, coworkers? I feel like some of them have very sibling coded relationships (army and coastie come to mind), but air force is more like space force's... mentor? (for lack of a better word) and maybe this is just me, but I feel like marine and navy are more homoerotic than anything else. anyway, just wanna hear your thoughts :D

GIGGLING AT THE LAST BIT.

i think that the branches, like other personifications, end up having kind of complicated relationships since they aren't human. and they've changed over the years considering they're centuries old (sans airy/spacey). so it's like a weird mixed bag.

VERY LONG POST.

army -> coastie: sees coastie like an annoying little brother/cousin (fond) but still recognizes him as a colleague/co-worker simultaneously. for a while he saw coastie like a child since he was established well before the coast guard

coastie -> army: sees army like a cool older brother. struggles to see him as anything professionally (he feels they're too friendly for that). at some point he saw army in a paternal light but that didn't last that long.

army -> marine: diehard rivals but also, like, a really deep fraternal bond. "i hate you but i'm gonna be the mother fucker to kill you" <- said with the anger and fondness only a brother could hold for his brother. constantly trying to outdo him. used to just mildly dislike him.

marine -> army: the "diehard rivals but sworn brothers" thing is mutual. he used to just see army as competition/someone to outdo. now it's more friendly (even if they sure as hell don't act like it). they don't consider each other related (like army/nat. guard do) but they do consider each other family. like.. brothers by choice. it's weird to articulate.

army -> navy: their relationship is... weird. they don't interact with each other as much as they would with the other branches. most interactions they have are at a literal geographical distance (given work circumstances). army finds navy agitating but, and he'd rather eat spent shell casings than admit this, kind of likes navy's teasing. he doesn't have any feelings for him but he enjoys the attention, even if it's meant to be patronizing and irritating.

navy -> army: enjoys how easy it is to piss off army and rile him up. coastie is usually unbothered, air force gets genuinely upset, and space force is...space force. professionally the respects him, personally considers them to be on decent terms, but overall recognizes the distance between them.

army -> space force: they don't really interact. his thoughts on space force can be summed up like "Air Force what the fuck is wrong with your dog" but would pick a fight with anyone outside of the branches trying to make fun of him.

space force -> army: doesn't feel much for army. not in an apathetic/dislike kind of way, more like "i don't really have enough information to know how i feel about this guy". but overall he doesn't harbor much negative sentiment.

army -> air force: he makes fun of air force constantly. but it's sort of like... "i'm trying to teach you how to have thicker skin" with the worst approach ever. also it's meant to be a friendly fraternal thing. he harbors a lot of professional respect for air force but he doesn't show it much or often. he doesn't really give much compliments or praise to anyone, but air force is probably the guy he's given the most compliments to over the years. but even then it's far and few between. personally though, he sees air force as a pushover who's totally full of himself. he likes air force's confidence [in his intellect] but hates how easily he goes from full of it to self-deprecating so easily. grow a spine damnit this is gonna hurt you!! also army thinks he's a big nerd lol. if you're not a branch he won't let you make fun of air force for being a wet rag nerd though. it's more personal than it is with space force.

air force -> army: thinks army is antagonizing him because he dislikes him. like he thinks this guy has nothing but contempt for him. wonders how he can never do anything right by army (unaware that army just doesn't point out the stuff he thinks is good, only the bad). he's a little numb to it at this point but it still stings. he's stopped taking it personally but unfortunately now he's assuming that he's the problem. womp womp

army -> national guard: it's... complicated. they're brothers, but they're not that close. army wants to be closer with him but he's never had the chance to. and now that it's been so long, with everything, he's not sure how. would natty want a guy like him to be his brother? plus, natty is actually older than him. but army grew up so fast he kind of ended up as the older brother after a few decades, and that just made their relationship more complicated. natty started out mentoring him and everything, but then it kind of flipped on it's head and now he's the big brother figure. he feels a lot for natty, but he's not sure what any of it boils down to or what to do about it. i think if he had to be honest about his feelings he'd say he feels like he owes natty everything, and he wishes natty had a better brother.

national guard -> army: him and army have a lot in common. they both don't know how to feel about their relationship, they both want to be closer, but they both have the emotional comprehension of a brick. while natty is better off than him in that department, it's just... not easy still. "for us to be closer it'd require us to put in a lot of work we don't know how to, and we don't logistically have the ability to either way, but if awkwardly eating dinner together sometimes and playfully bickering is all we have in the cards right now then i'm willing to play my hand every time"

coastie -> navy: beach buddies! they're friends on pretty good terms. navy doesn't really tease coastie. he sorta looks up to navy. used to see navy like a little brother. he thinks navy's forgotten about all that, though.

navy -> coastie: i think navy sees him almost like a little brother, but he doesn't consider him family. it's a mutual sentiment: "you're like a brother to me." the irony is that coast guard is older than the navy! but navy "grew up" faster so they dynamic ended up shifting over the years. before that, though, navy looked up to coastie and saw him as an older brother/mentor figure. he hasn't actually forgotten this; he feels a personal debt to coastie and takes this very seriously, which doesn't seem much like him (a guy who can't seem to take anything seriously and just parties a lot). but it very much is.

coastie -> air force: good friends! very good friends. coastie is actually kinda jealous of air force; he feels pretty distant from the main 4 (navy, marine corps, army, air force). he doesn't mind it, though. or maybe he does. nobody really asks.

air force -> coastie: cares about coastie a lot. honestly pretty concerned for him. he knows coastie is wayyy older than he is and he's sure that his happy-go-lucky attitude has a, like... centuries of baggage beneath it. this leaves his mind a lot, though, and he only really thinks about it when his mind drifts elsewhere. likes to hang out with coastie.

coastie -> space force: mutually feels left out of the main 4. likes how weird space force is. and how space force doesn't judge him for being so talkative. space force is actually kind of quiet so it gives coastie ample room to talk, and coastie feels like he actually listens. ends up tagging along with air force+space force often.

space force -> coastie: almost the same as the way coastie feels for him. honestly pretty happy that coastie talks to him like a normal individual/equal and not like.. some weirdo.

coastie -> army: sees army like an older brother but they're on surprisingly equal footing in terms of a "power dynamic"; army sees him as an equal as much as he does a little brother figure. they're pretty close. he's the bubbly golden retriever to army's pissed off german shepherd or something. worries about army a lot and does his best to help him without making it obvious.

army -> coastie: very close; sees him kinda like a little brother. i think his relationship with coastie is especially complicated on his end, though. because he already has a brother. but he's not very close with his brother. but he's really close with coastie. it's really difficult for him to parse. i don't want to say he sees coastie like a surrogate for the relationship he wants with national guard, but... well, he sees a lot of natty in coastie. and i think it kind of tears him up inside because of how complicated his feelings are on this. doesn't help that he has the emotional and interpersonal skills of a cucumber.

navy <--> marine: honestly nobody knows what's going on with them. i mean, they've never explicitly said anything. but there is, indeed, an incredibe amount of palpable homoerotic tension between them. they bunk together. navy drives him everywhere. you literally cannot see one of them without the other. and let's just say i didn't mention marine in the "why navy only teases army" tidbit for a reason. draw your own conclusions teehee :^)

air force -> space force: it's complicated. because of the circumstances of how they stared out, he almost feels a paternal kind of way towards space force? but also kind of just like a mentor/colleague relationship? but also like of like siblings? but also kind of just best friends? it's really complicated. but overall it's a very positive relationship. he cares a lot for space force, and it doesn't really matter to him in what way he cares for space force; paternal, fraternal, neither, both, secret third option.

space force -> air force: doesn't feel anything you could articular with traditional terms but air force is basically one of the only other branches he really feels anything towards. his feelings towards the others are pretty numb/shallow or he just flat out doesn't know them well enough, but he does feel pretty deeply for air force. nothing that is or could be considered romantic though, to be clear.

BASICALLY their relationships are all super duper complicated due to their nature as personifications and how they change over time. but they're all pretty tight knit (despite some being closer than others).

OKAY THAT'S. A LOT ALREADY SO I THINK I'LL LEAVE THIS POST AT THAT. if you're interesting in hearing about any other dynamics lmk!! thannk you for letting me autism about these fools. my little blorbinis. forgive me for the expanse of text i just start typing and cant stop.

p.s. i tried to make a visual for this with cute little signatures for them but i couldn't get it to work out the way i wanted to. but i still like the signatures. so here.

[doueverwonder]

Maryland and her scary dog privilege x7 (<- the branches)

[abcwordsurge]

found this in a reader's digest. felt appropriate to share with you all

[abcwordsurge]

Air Force and space force are the branches with the highest percentage of women, so of course To Me they need to be women bc I can’t write all men, I don’t have it in me/j

you are so real for that. did a little research on my own, and gotta say, the fact that the air force has the highest percentage of women is giving me life. we should start doing this for the states tbh- this link shows the number of men for each 100 women in each state, and, well, I'm not saying we under represent women, but according to this list, only 10 states have a greater proportion of men than women (including, interestingly enough, both alaska and hawaii). come on guys let's get on it

[floridagirlboy]

i think marine corps got his license suspended a few years ago by gov himself for horrible reckless driving. im talking like

like that. has rammed his shitty ford fiesta directly into gov's house at least twice and only one of them was an accident. and now navy has to fucking drive him everywhere. you can't ever Just talk to marine because navy is usually right around the corner because he had to fucking drive him there. and navy always has to give his opinions on anything you're talking about. worst duo ever