#y'all have no fucking clue

[radiosummons]

My sister has been showing me episodes of OG Trigun--mostly in preparation for Trigun Stampede--but also because it's one of her favorite manga of all time.

And holy SHIT I cannot even begin to explain how fucking batshit this show is. Just hearing Johnny Yong Bosch's voice alone immediately sent me back at least fifteen years.

I have watched all episodes of OG Trigun while drunk, high and sober. And regardless of my state of inebreiation, I was always left with the exact, inescapable feeling of wanting to fucking die from the sheer nostalgic cringe and insanity of it all. I hate this show. I love this show. I'm fucking obsessed.

So, to all those who are curious (or would just like a mini idea of how to compare OG Trigun with Trigun Stampede)--here is my comprehensive list of things that ACTUALLY happened in Trigun that make me go absolutely batshit just thinking about them:

The sheer insanity of the--balls to the walls, barely held together with ducktape, spit and shoestring--of a plot, all with apparently little to no accuracy to the manga whatsoever. This both amuses and horrifies my sister.

The absolute refusal on the part of the anime to actually explain literally anything. Like the fact that the show takes place in space. Or why humanity is on a desert planet. Or what Plants are, why they're important, why they're there, literally ANYTHING.

Seriously, if you've only ever watched the anime you would have no fucking clue what the Plants are or what they even do. And THEY'RE LITERALLY ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT BITS OF LORE/A HUGE PART OF THE PLOT OF THE ENTIRE FUCKING MANGA.

A major bit of Trigun's lore/setting is just straight up the events of Wall-E.

Johnny Yong fucking Bosch as Vash's English VA. Enough said.

Vash--by simply existing and (mostly) through no direct fault of his own--is capable of wrecking such sheer and complete utter devastation that there's an actual insurance policy people can file after their town is destroyed in the aftermath of him visiting. Iconic.

Monev is just Spiderman's Venom but with a purple and orange reskin. This was intentional on part of the creator as he is obsessed with Venom. Good on him.

This is only specific to the English Dub (we switched to the original sub for the more "serious" episodes, calm down), but HOLY FUCK the absolutely atrocious line deliveries somehow make the show even worse and yet ultimately so much funnier all at the same time!

Millions Knives is the name of Vash's twin brother.

Vash is bisexual. There are multiple occassions where he will call a random male character "Cute" or "Cutie." Somehow, I am not the least bit surprised.

Christianity exists. And the Church trains orphans to be assassins. This makes perfect sense.

"LUUV AND PEEEEAAACCCCCEEE!!!!"

In the second episode of the series (English Dub), there's an actual scene where an old man and his grandson LOUDLY lament the absolute devastation of their home in the most inappropriately cheerful and candid way possible. And then the fucking kid follows that up by just singing out of fucking nowhere "~Bad times are here LALALALALA!!!!!~"

Vash is part gun.

According to "company regulations," as insurance workers Milly and Meryl are not allowed to take part time jobs. They later take part time jobs. My broke ass resonated too fucking hard with this bit.

"Oh, maaaan! Why can't I just get a break?! Death and poverty like me so much, they've brought friends!" Fucking. Mood.

At one point, Vash does the crab walk to dodge a barrage of bullets. This is, surprisingly, quite effective.

"I'll whack you, mister!"

Legato's introduction is him sitting down on a bench and then PULLING A HOT DOG OUT OF A PAPER BAG WITH A HUMAN HEAD IN IT!!!!

Legato has his own personal saxophone player that just follows him everywhere???????

"Oh my. I'm about to go down in ~fllaaaaaammeesssss!~"

Wolfwood.

In EP 16, someone just starts randomly scatting in the background for no reason. No explanation is ever offered.

"My name is .... VASH DA STAMPEDE-DUUUH!!!!!"

Also in EP 16, one of the villains for that episode sounds, deadass, exactly like Jar Jar Binks. I am not joking.

Legato can blood bend.

There's a mini episode dedicated to Milly and Meryl. Vash shows up for five seconds hiding in a trash can. The joke writes itself.

"The DEADLY DODGEBALL HEAD!!! A simple technique to hold the ball in place with INTENSE SUUUCTION!! Try this at home! ;)"

Knives eats an apple, cuts his own hair and enters his impromptu emo arc.

Legato gets horny over the idea of Vash crying. Idk what to tell you, man.

Wolfwood shoots a child. Granted, said child was gonna try to kill Vash and a bunch of orphans. But still.

Vash makes up a dark song about murdering and killing people. The villains of that episode proceed to roast him for his shit lyrics.

Wolfwood doesn't understand why everyone is mad at him for KILLING A CHILD.

"I meditate diligently every morning. The subjects are life and love ... I quit after three seconds."

The actually downright amazing OST, that has no right to be as good as it is. No joke, one of the best anime OSTs I have ever heard in my life.

"And if you're still having doubts, check out my 100% accurate gunmanship!" *proceeds to shoot directly at the sky only then for a black cat to fall directly on his head. The cat's fine btw*

At a certain point, Vash fakes his identity, gets a disguise and goes under a false name. Said false name being "Eriks." He looks like if someone ran Hohenheim through the washer and then hung him on a clothesline for a week. I have ... no fucking words.

"What is this strange phenomena? Is it some sort of strange and twisted Christian science!?"

For as menacing as they make Legato out to be, he sure does shit all in the grand scheme of things. Also he looks like he raids Seto Kaiba's closet on the DL and duels monsters on weekends.

Vash will randomly have Bishie eyes. Arguably, his most Bishie moment is right after Wolfwood punches him in the face. I'll let you infer what you want from this.

Rem randomly appears out of nowhere to taunt Vash with nonsense riddles and haikus. No explanation is ever given until EP 17 for who Rem is, why she keeps reappearing in Vash's mind, if she's even a real person or just someone Vash made up, etc. Because of this, it just looks like Vash keeps receiving American Beauty-style rose shower psychic attacks while a random woman just spouts absolute nonsense at him. There is no way this explanation will prepare you for the actual experience of watching it.

 "I am known as Valentinez Alkalinella Xifax Sicidabohertz-" *prolonged pause* "-Gombigobilla Blue Stradivari Talentrent Pierre Andri Charton-Haymoss Ivanovici Baldeus George Doitzel Kaiser the Third. Don't hestitate to call."

Vash gets adopted by an old woman and her granddaughter. It's actually kind of sweet.

A minor villain in EP 18 demands that Vash strip and then act like a dog. He proceeds to do both without a single objection. Wolfwood pulls down his sunglasses and leers at Vash's naked ass. My sister has informed me that this is actually canonical.

Rem is a hyper Christian.

Wolfwood takes personal offense to a burlesque dancer being absolute shit at dancing. Honestly ... I can't even argue with him.

"Hey, 'Thou Shalt Not Kill,' REMEMBER!? WHAT KIND OF CHURCH MAN ARE YOU!!!?"

Vash saves a town's Plant through the power of Bishie.

While trying to save a child, Vash and Wolfwood both get sucked into quicksand. Said child just watches them go into the ground. I would have done the same.

Milly, Vash and Wolfwood decide to share drinks and before any of them even take a single shot, Milly decides to strip naked. Vash and Wolfwood are very pleased by this. Meryl is not.

"WHOSE idea was it to USE THE GRENADE!!!?? He can't be identified for the reward if he's a pile of pulp, YOU DUMBASS!!!!"

Wolfwood calls Vash pathetic. This kickstarts yet another existential crisis within Vash.

"Thank GOD you asked! It's a long story, although it's kind of a short one."

For literally no reason at all, child Knives decides to embrace his Anti-Christ symbolism and goes full Joker mode. This is not at all accurate to the manga.

Vash and Knives are aliens/Plants. Rem thinks they're actual Christian angels. Deadass.

Milly forces Wolfwood to pretend to be her baby daddy for a whole episode. For pudding. Yup.

Vash enters a dom/sub relationship with a Pokemon gym leader looking lady and they engage in extremely explicit pet play.

Anyway, watch OG Trigun. If you've ever watched any sort of anime abridged series, it will definitely make things a little easier for you. There are definitely too many points at which this show feels like a YouTube Poop and I mean in that best and worst possible way.

Also Meryl is Best Girl. I will not budge on this.

[chappellrroan]

people who still hate Joe Alwyn need to get a life asap

[cursedthing]

.slaps the top of these two. they are so full of worry and exhaustion

[marlenacantswim]

Peter Vincent you are the Baddest Girl around

song is "Bad Girl" by Usher

be the change you want to see in the world. if you want more david tennant as peter vincent edits, miss an entire night of sleep making one yourself, i guess.

[sunlitlemonade]

kimi 🤝 jokic

being insanely good at their sport, treating it like a 9-5 job, giving us some of the funniest interviews of all time

max 🤝 steph

being insanely good at their sport, being intensely passionate abt it (even if they make it look effortless), giving us some of the funniest interviews of all time

[vibes-of-chaos]

Okay I just really want to get something off my chest

(besides the useless lumps of flesh)

It's okay if a group of people makes you uncomfortable. Legitimately. Full stop. You cannot immediately control discomfort. It's an automatic response your brain has and you can't always just tell your brain to shut the fuck up. You're human and that's okay...

Because what matters is how you act on discomfort.

If someone is genuinely harassing you? like literally threatening you? if someone is actively working to harm or upset you? that shit ain't right and you should be allowed to do something about it.

BUT! Someone existing in the same room as you isn't doing any of that. Someone sitting near you on the bus looking at their phone isn't hurting you. Someone Reblogging from you on Tumblr isn't hurting you. Someone using the free public restroom at the same time as you isn't hurting you. Someone tagging something isn't hurting you. Someone laughing loudly or eating food or walking down the street or wearing certain clothes or having a certain gender or skin color or religious affiliation or sexuality isn't fucking hurting you. People existing at the same time as you isn't an overt threat.

You can feel uncomfortable. But you cannot fucking attack people just because you personally don't like them.

Case in point: I have very very rough trauma. I'm a survivor of a handful of things that I personally am not a fan of talking about. There are certain groups that make me incredibly uncomfortable and downright sick to my stomach to deal with. People of a certain sexuality make my skin crawl due to those past awful experiences. Another group that brings me vast discomfort is just. Literally mothers. There's no nuance there, people who are mothers make me incredibly uncomfortable because of things I dealt with growing up that I am still unpacking as a 28 year old.

But never once on here have I attacked anyone or even alluded to some of the groups giving me discomfort. I don't make posts talking about how those people should die. I don't call those people evil. I don't do callouts for people who I suddenly find out are parents or have a certain attraction. I have friends and acquaintances in those groups and I refuse to treat them any differently just because of that trait, because that trait has nothing to do with who they are as people.

Anyway my point is that some of y'all need to grow up, because someone correctly tagging a fandom post isn't fucking hurting you. A person shipping with characters you dislike isn't fucking hurting you. Grow up and block people, because you guys acting legitimately triggered while adamantly refusing to avoid said triggers is embarrassing as hell and really fucking irritating for those of us with PTSD.

[fullofcake]

I think I need to remove all my organs for a little while and maybe my eyes too

[rin-yellow]

Something possessed me to make this and I have no idea why. I am so sorry

[chaddicus]

see the longer I play with my understanding of my transmasc experience and dysphoria, the more I grapple with the conflict between mocking fragile masculinity for refusing to allow the use of 'feminine' things vs knowing more and more keenly how much dysphoria I would and do get whenever someone associates something I do or use or wear with femininity. and no amount of people insisting that using "feminine" things doesn't invalidate someone's gender, man or otherwise, seems to have any impact on that dysphoria

we do need to untangle cultural perceptions of masculine vs feminine and respect for a person's gender, manhood in particular in this discussion, but I almost feel like knowing that means it's my responsibility to refuse to engage with those ideas for my own gender — and the problem is that knowing this is not the common understanding means knowing that other people *will* associate my use of feminine things as some sort of contradiction with any masculinity I may wish to express or identify with, and no amount of understanding the concepts and holding the principles can erase the revulsion and pain and fear I feel at the thought of people associating me with some concept of womanhood that I adamantly *do not experience or identify with.* fuck.

[daydreamerwonderkid]

Me, looking at the tags/replies arguing over when Dick's "canon" birthday should be, soley based on which star sign people think he is:

[meatbricks]

U know Blu is gonna ask for a request leading to that comic. :)

Let all 3 bozos. (Aka reader and both mofos) be them. And random wedding. Yes. :)

HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET TO THIS SO FAST.. im not complaining ofc but STILL. HOLY FUCK MY GUY (thank you anyways though i appreciate it)

ANYWAYS

as seen in my Shity Fuking Comic™, the mask stays on during the wedding. this man really does not give a damn

it's probably a very non-traditional wedding because. i mean. [gestures to everything about these two]

bonus points if they livestream it on the dark web instead of guests actually being there in person

really if bruteforce had his way there wouldn't really have even been a ceremony but painter had. other plans (everything has to be super grandiose and extravagant with that guy LMAO)

speaking of which, he probably has. a LONG, LONG speech prepared (not even on paper, he's been rehearsing it for the past month, probably!!) about how glad he is to be there and how much he loves the two of you.. super dramatic, super heartfelt; yknow, the works

and meanwhile bruteforce is just like "uh. i like you guys a lot.. yeah, even you, who i've only known for like. a month... if anything ever happened to you i would kill everyone here and then myself... and uh. i guess this is the part where we spend the rest of our lives together?"

he just. really has no fucking clue what to do at a wedding, he was not prepared for this in the slightest and really only agreed to it because he knew there'd be cake and alcohol involved at some point (and because you and painter really, really wanted him to)

super ultra bonus points if webmaster is there to officiate the wedding (and/or as the best man) and is just fucking. staring off into space rotating a singular 7/11 slushie in his mind because this shit is taking FOREVER (there are three of you, after all)

after the ceremony proper is over, expect painter to want honeymoon sex immediately, and also expect bruteforce to either be roped into it as well or just. chill, drinkin champagne, eating cake, discussing which cotton candy flavor is the best w/ webmaster

rlly the whole thing is a massive disaster but who gives a shit, all three of you are having fun and thats what matters :D

[nickgoesinsane]

WHAT THE FUCK IS PROSHIPPING 🗣

[firesofdainix]

I think people who call Cole a homewrecker during the love triangle fiasco are missing the point

[jo-harrington]

Not ready to yell about my aasb theories yet, BUT I came across the following and am thinking thoughts 🤔

- Cee 💜

This is very interesting and I've never seen it before but I just did an image search of it, and it's surprising and even I have some art history theories about this and how it may or may not apply here...you're onto something here Cee...you're onto something...

[ollieofthebeholder]

Am writing a horror novel for NaNoWriMo this year and you can tell which particular piece of horror media has imprinted itself most definitively in my psyche by the fact that there is a panopticon in the basement of this haunted mental hospital and that is where the final climax is going to be.

[jackredfieldwasmyjacob]

i can't believe the email i just opened