#y'know I kinda love it when there's magic in a piece of media and it affects the way technology develops around and along with it

[gierosajie]

Okay now I'm kinda wondering if there was a way to input photographs into the Akasha way back when Rukkhadevata first made it and if so, then that would mean digital photography was a thing way before analog photography was invented on Teyvat

[project-ohagi]

Dabi x Reader

Buy me a coffee!! <3

Greyromantic: Can experience romantic attraction, but weakly or infrequently; feeling alienated from romance; only feeling attraction in specific circumstances.

Asexual: Having little/no sexual attraction or interest in sexual activities.

Questioning: Process of exploration regarding gender, sexual orientation, sexual identity.

----

The phenomenon of love is a complex, chemical concoction that has long been weaved into the fabric of our society. It is presented as a requirement, with those who find the concept either too challenging to thoroughly comprehend, or lacking in appeal, branded as anomalies. In its pursuit of normality, it quickly alienated those whose hearts just couldn't conform. In a different society, one not quite so dominated by this 'normality' of romantic and sexual interests...you might be forgiven for your limited knowledge. But this one...it seems to blanch at the very idea that happiness can be attained in the absence of romantic attraction.

As such, those identifying along the Aromantic or Asexual spectrums are often overlooked - even shunned. But, the greatest truth of it all is a lot simpler than you may expect: an emotion as profound as joy cannot be induced solely by succumbing to carnal desires, or tasting the lips of another. No...it is through self-acceptance, and the acceptance from those for whom your heart beats - parents, siblings, friends...and perhaps in this manner, the meaning is amplified.

But...what happens when you are forced into complacency, into setting aside your own interests, to 'further evolution', or to 'finally be normal'?

You were still trying to figure this out.

Who were you...really? Why couldn't you summon an emotion as free and universal as love?...Romantic love? Why did it seem so incomprehensible, so...intangible? These were the thoughts you battled with, every waking moment. They burrowed deep into your mind, so that you could never pull them out. They were elusive, yet...constant, nagging.

Why am I so different? Everyone else has crushes...even Toga likes that one UA boy! Ah, yeah...she asked me if I have someone I love. I just said "No". Saying: "I don't even know what 'love' is" seems a bit...she'd definitely call me weird. Then the others would probably laugh at me...

You felt...incomplete, like a jigsaw puzzle with only half the pieces. You felt the isolation, suffocating you. It hadn't been a conscious decision. You didn't awaken one morning and think 'You know what? This whole 'love' thing? It just isn't for me! ' You craved a connection, a bond of some kind - holding hands...a hug at most. Anything more was frightening to imagine. What if someone...pressured you? Or stole a kiss, as an offhanded action? You couldn't bear it...not even the mere thought. It was likely the main contributor to your chronic anxiety and paranoia. Your treatment at the hands of society, the ridicule and the fear of phrases such as "It's just a phase!" or, "You need to find the right person!"...they fuelled the flickering spark of villainy in your eyes.

After all, outcasts and monsters are interchangeable to most common folk.

But you didn't want those labels. You were a lost lamb, wandering aimlessly - what you really needed was guidance...someone who would listen and advise, someone who would accept you and every burden you carried, without question or quandary. But you said nothing...so you got nothing in return. Dabi was the closest to a...a source of strength? Motivation?...Potential love interest? But...how would you ever truly know? How could you discern the romantic from the platonic? It seemed impossible - simply a waste of time. Still, you never fully resigned to this fate of...loneliness.

You wanted to cherish, and to be cherished.

You wanted to love, and to be loved.

Perhaps it was the unyielding voice of fear, of desperation and pain, but...you just didn't know! You didn't know...and, it was difficult. You studied Dabi's face, and while nothing immediately heated your cheeks, he wasn't...unattractive. Aha! Maybe that was love? Alas, you discovered it to be more aesthetic attraction. It was a little disappointing, but perseverance should've been the key, right...?

Why? Why do I feel so little? Dabi is there for me, right? So surely if anyone, I should love him!...Do I love him? How can I tell? Is there some sort of test? How would a test even be administered? What kind of questions would I have to answer? I don't think I could answer them, even with study. If I'm struggling so much now...

And anyway...Dabi was a dominant male, whose sexuality was unclear. Even if you managed to settle on a definition of 'love', and figure out what role it played in your life...there was no guarantee that Dabi would want you. The jury was still out, on your gender - 'questioning' was your placeholder for the moment. But, you usually dressed masculine...would he be okay with someone so indecisive? Someone who might be neither male nor female? And, what if...what if he wasn't the one?

Say I can find love, and I start to understand it...who's to say that the person I love will be Dabi? It could be anyone! Maybe they were right, and I just haven't met the right person...but, I kind of want it to be Dabi? Is that...bad? Oh god, it sounds so selfish! He'll just be tied down, and if we find out that I don't actually love him...what would he do? At the very least, he'd be angry...

Dabi...the more you recalled his honey-laced voice, all the flirting you failed to notice until it was pointed out (clearly, he was doing that in jest), and those blue eyes (steely from years on the run, that probably depleted the pools of guilt and regret often accompanying mass killings, thievery and other criminal acts), the more confusion festered. You just didn't understand! Was it love? Or was it conversion? Were you trying to become 'normal'? Well, as normal as a villain could be...? Or did Dabi really mean something...something greater than you believed? Something...beyond what you currently knew?

This journey of self-discovery had approached a torturous junction.

Why were relationships so sought after, so expected? Even you desired one. How else could you ever hope to form a deep bond, or receive that fabled 'feeling of ecstasy' from holding hands or hugging? If there was no romance, mainstream media would lead you to the conclusion that there isn't a 'proper' or 'deep enough' connection - there can't be. You wanted to experience these things with Dabi. No-one else. You couldn't explain why. He was...an unusual character, mysterious and with perhaps a similar level of complexity as the daunting questions you were asking yourself. But mentioning your plight to him simply wasn't an option. Villains were responsible for themselves; the League was nothing more than a safety net.

Besides, Dabi was heartless.

...Or so he liked to be portrayed.

Urghhh...why is this so complicated? How am I supposed to know if I love him? The signs are...increased heart rate and blood to the face, right...? That seems unhealthy...is that actually supposed to be a good thing??

"Hey, you stopped spacing out yet, (V/n)?"

Shit! No, no, no! I haven't finished spacing out!

Sheepishly, you turned in the direction of the voice. Why did Dabi always seem to materialise out of thin air, whenever you thought about him? Did you magic him here, by accident? Subconsciously? However you managed that...you hated it. Your existential crisis really didn't need a spectator. Break out the popcorn, why don't you?

Can't I have a break down in peace? Wait...am I even in my room?...Did I seriously question my entire existence right here in the bar? It's a good thing there's no-one else here...I don't need more people telling me that I'm crazy...

You sighed. "...Yeah."

His brows furrowed - this was unfamiliar territory. Helping people had never been his speciality, especially given his own trauma . But for you...it was certainly worth a shot. "What's up? You on your man-period or something?"

Off to a spectacularly dreadful start. "I - I don't know if I'm a man, though...how could I-"

"Relax, it was a joke. Your pronouns are they/them, right? I'm not gonna call you a man just for the sake of argument. Nah...Hey, scoot over." A for effort.

"You could sit literally anywhere else."

He smirked. "You gonna stop me, sweet-cheeks?"

Sweet...?

"Thought not. Anyway, what's going on? You've been all doom-and-gloom for the past...two hours." He motioned over to the clock.

Had you honestly spent so long in contemplation? Gods, you could've unlocked the secrets of the universe, but no. "I've...kinda been asking myself that."

"Oh?" It was obviously a prompt, but talk of your romantic inclination (or lack thereof) would likely be regarded in the realm of 'stupid' and 'childish', so...could really you trust him?

I've always been too nervous to take risks...Guess now's as good a time as any to change that.

You swallowed down the uncertainties, the anxiety and everything in-between. They didn't help - they only hindered. And...you did need to release this burden, that weighed you down so heavily.

"Um...it's - it's...confusing. Really...confusing. I guess, I simple terms: I don't know what 'love' is. I know it probably sounds really dumb to you, and I feel stupid for even saying it, but...I've never...never had a crush, never been in love. I don't...I don't feel anything romantic towards, well...anyone!"

"Not even a bit?" He asked, blank-faced.

"I - I don't know. I really want to, though. I'm just...I'm scared. There's always this underlying fear of...what if - what if someone forces me? Y'know? What if...I date someone, and they can't accept that I'm different...that I might never feel anything for them? I don't want to be lonely forever, Dabi! I want someone, I really do! I say I've never been in love, but...the truth is, I just don't know! I know that I don't need to kiss someone. That's what I...what I don't want, but...I - I still want to hold hands with someone! I'd still like a hug, every once in a while...I don't know what I'm doing, or really...who I am."

For a few moments, he was silent beside you, just drinking in the flood of information. He refrained from reaching out, or gazing too intently. It took time to settle on an appropriate response. "You're looking at it as an issue, though - something you've gotta resolve, before you can move on. I'm not the best with advice, trust me...but I can tell you that it's a journey. It'll continue and evolve, as long as it needs to. You'll...probably know when you're ready, or...something. All that sappy crap. You don't have to force yourself to understand it all now."

I'll know...?

"When I'm...ready?" You repeated, eyes tracing the lines on your palm.

"Yeah...probably."

Just before you lost all coherency, a single thought fluttered to the forefront of your mind: My heart...just...skipped a beat?!

[Word Count: 1775]

[yes-prisoner]

Unusual Muse Associations

Tagged by @grapecaseschoices, thank you! This surprised me a little but I have a excuse to take off the dust of one oc! 

So... I have a lot of OC's... Like a lot, I swear I can't remember some of them lol But for this one I choose Yan Baskerville. Aka one of my first characters! Like he have what? 10 years? 11? 12? He was created when I was kid and was introduced to role-playing games when I was 12-14 years old. I have a soft spot for him because not only he was one of the firsts, he was the OC who helped me discovering/accepting my bisexuality (It's kinda of a funny story) and in the last days this poor, poor creature it's a lot on my mind. I say this because Yan was the OC who suffered the most in my hands when I was a kid, y'know... when you feel like god and discover that you can do anything with your characters even if makes zero fucking sense.

SEASONING: Cinnamon, I think?

WEATHER:  A cool and foggy day, perfect to stay in house with a cup of something hot or if you really want to go out, the world is less noisy.

COLOUR: Lilac, indigo blue, silver and black.

SKY: A cloud night sky. You can see some stars and maybe the moon but never fully receive their light.

MAGICAL POWER: Animal-shifthing in the original universe. But I can see he with invisibility too.

HOUSE PLANT: False Shamrock

WEAPON: Dagger.

SUBJECT: Literature, arts and maybe history.

SOCIAL MEDIA: Oof... Yan probably only use social media because he have to. Not because he likes. Not because he want to post something. Nope. It's only to stay in contact with someone he cares. So if he needs to deal with internet bullshit for you, this is love.

MAKEUP PRODUCT: Concealer it's probably the one that he could use the most, perfect to help with the bags under his eyes and scars. Lip balm for chapped lips, now in the rare days he wants or needs to use for a more decorative purposes probably something for his eyes.

CANDY: Sour candy I guess. Something that starts strong and kind acid, but after some time is only sweet. Another good one could be any candy coffee flavored.

FEAR: Losing someone he cares about. Trying to have hope and heal, only for the world shatter him once again.

ICE CUBE SHAPE: A simple cube.

METHOD OF LONG-DISTANCE TRAVEL: Train or car.

ART STYLE: Hm... Hard question. I don't have a specific artist in mind. But if I go for a concept, probably expressionism.

MYTHOLOGICAL CREATURE: Werewolf. This one was chosen because in the original universe he was one lol Otherwise, maybe a ghost. He already is morning his past self who never really ceases to haunt him, so why not?

PIECE OF STATIONERY:  A notebook with a leather cover, worn by the time

THREE EMOJIS:  ☕  🌘  😴 

CELESTIAL BODY: The moon or pluto.

[niennavalier]

OC Ramble Time Pt 2!

Okay, so I'm gonna try to keep these a bit shorter (because the other post took way too long), since I'm gonna do a bit of talking about some of the other characters who are attached to the Disaster Boys (Anders and Alex) story and all that good stuff. So... just jump right in I guess?

Elias Elsker: So pretty much, if you read my whole thing about Anders, Elias is the kid that he takes in. He's real energetic and fun, very open while simultaneously being really awkward (not that it really bothers him). Honestly, he's just really friendly and loves people - animals, too (he's learned a bit of magic and usually has his snake familiar, Xanathar, somewhere nearby). (If you know D&D lore, yes, that's a reference, because Elias also started as a character for me to play. Arcane Tricksters, y'know?). Also impulsive, albeit not in a super self-destructive way. More like his cost-benefit analysis is just bad and sometimes he just does something kinda dumb. He's also pretty jumpy and very prone to running into furniture when his brain goes into panic mode.

Overall, he's just well-adjusted. Yes, he lost his parents young, but he had a good relationship with them, and then also grows really close with Anders. Just wanted a character who didn't have a bunch of issues for once, yknow?

For some other random facts: I tend to write him at either 16 or 21ish, depending - sometimes I wanna write him still learning from Anders, sometimes while he's more out on his own. Also, he's ace and some sort of romantic (AKA, he doesn't fully know and hasn't put a label on it, but if I were to say as the author, he's probably panromantic) and really fun to write/play for those relatable ace moments.

Aishah Rayyan: Alex's twin sister, so I won't go into her backstory in depth, except to say that she came out of their tragic past really differently. She got pretty much adopted into her best friend's family, so while Alex was having a rough time, she ended up having a relatively normal life - albeit with some guilt over losing contact with her brother, and, well, the effects of childhood trauma and the like. She and Alex reconnect over the course of whatever plot I actually write for them, and after all of whatever that is, they and all their other friends (talked about down below) end up all living together. And in that dynamic, she's 100% the mom friend. But less doting and more Tired. She's generally pretty laid-back, practical, and would love a quiet night in with loved ones, but ends up in this constant state of "please stop blowing up [insert kitchen appliance here], I haven't even kind of had enough coffee for this." At least before probably trying to fix the problem, until her girlfriend shepherds her to bed. (And that's assuming she's not hyperfocused in on something, because sometimes that's just what happens. Given a problem, she's gonna solve it).

(Oh, and quick note, she's the other old character who's since gotten reworked. Old tag was for "Taylor Fairfax" but then, unlike with Alex, she went through a pretty massive edit.)

Celine: Nope, no last name yet because names are hard, but she's Aishah's girlfriend. She's about the same age, just a little younger, and an aspiring theatre actress. She's really outgoing and warm, charismatic and super easy to get along with. More than a touch dramatic. Also a lot more traditionally feminine than most of the other female characters I write, and sort of the other resident mom friend, but...I guess in the more stereotypical way? (And she's really vocal about her support for Anders and Alex in particular - she finds them adorable and is one of few people who's never been intimidated by Anders. She just sees how he melts in front of people he cares about).

Oh, also, she and Aishah met at some sort of community theatre performance. The story that their friends tell is basically that in the middle of a scene, as she was on stage and Aishah was in the audience, their eyes just met, and that was it. Obviously, in reality, it wasn't that simple, but there are a lot of meet-cute vibes there.

Valon: Okay, now we get into the territory of my lovable idiot children (which, kudos to whoever knows where I'm stealing this particular name from. If you do, uh, you'll definitely know why this character is the way he is). Aishah's childhood best friend, and the one whose family adopted her. Also the one who's largely responsible for pulling her a bit more out of her shell. He's... just a big dumb idiot? Real big personality, constantly ribbing all of the people he's around and cracking jokes, just likes the energy of being around people in general. Always down to try something new and ridiculous, no matter what it is, even if that means destroying electronics (or the oven). And bluntly honest, but not in a mean way?

Also, he's bi and is pretty often just going out on casual dates for fun. Just sorta waiting to see what happens. But really, he's much more proud of Aishah's love life, though, and gladly takes credit for being the one to get her to ask Celine out.

(Oh, also, cause it was vaguely referenced above: he's the one who was - and is - intimidated by Anders.)

Arina "Ari" Varellian: My other idiot child, but also the character that I probably relate to the most? She grew up around a lot of technology as a kid and developed a good amount of skill with it (coding and stuff - I know nothing about it but she can, it's fine). But what it ultimately did was introduce her to a lot of other pieces of media - video games especially (but also TV and movies are a big part of her life, too). Basically, she's just a glutton for entertainment and fiction and keeps up with all the nerd content.

But she doesn't fall into that "introverted, awkward nerd" type. She gets along really well with Valon, actually - very similar type of big, open personality and always ready with a hearty laugh. She's just here to have a good time, and to try new things (and to force her friends to try new things with her). Basically, she's the person who would go looking for a way to learn parkour after playing something like Assassin's Creed (because it looks cool) or would - and did - plan an entire camping trip after playing Red Dead 2 (because the outside is pretty, guys). Plus, also dragging them into things like escape rooms and D&D games, because these things looked fun.

And, because this is important to me, she's aro ace and very much a way for me to write my perspective? All the "what's up with sex when you could have cake? Or dragons?" and "look, these characters are pretty but why would I sleep with/romance them?" While simultaneously making sex jokes at her friends' expense and shipping fictional characters like there's no tomorrow.

And that's all for today!

The main other characters attached to my Disaster Boys. Tried to keep it short because I'm sleepy, but, as per usual, I could and would gladly talk more about them later (even though some of them do sorta vary in terms of how much I've written and developed them).

Although, a couple last things: I've technically also been sitting on one more character to add into this crew - specifically another friend of Ari's. But I've done markedly less development there, so I'll come back to that some other day. And there are other characters attached to Anders aside from just Elias, I promise. He does have his mentor (whom I mentioned but didn't go into, since I tend to write her more into backstory) and his own found family, but some of those characters belong to a friend, cause that all developed via some D&D sessions. Didn't seem right to add that here.