#based on technologies that no one knew how to make anymore

[gierosajie]

Okay now I'm kinda wondering if there was a way to input photographs into the Akasha way back when Rukkhadevata first made it and if so, then that would mean digital photography was a thing way before analog photography was invented on Teyvat

[lostgirlmuseum]

The Signal

Made this using images from Pinterest ^ Word Count: 6.1k 

Pairing: Bucky x f!reader

Summary: You and Bucky get separated from the team after an unfortunate mishap, of which Bucky blames you. Except you’re not at fault! You thought… you aren’t too sure anymore.

A/N: Thank you all so much for all of the positivity on my first fic, I am actually BLOWN AWAY. You are all so kind!! I actually started writing this all the way back in February of 2022, but seeing the response gave me the motivation to finally finish it. 

Warnings: Nothing absolutely horrible, just a bit of angst and fluff(?), plus a little gaslighting and violence.

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“Everything is going to be okay. We’re fine. Everything is fine. Everything–” She repeated the mantra over and over again, not quite believing it.

“Will you shut up?” Bucky growled. 

Only an hour prior had both of them been sneaking through a dense forest and scoping out a running ex-HYDRA base deep in the frozen woods. Steve, Bucky, Natasha, Sam, and Y/N were used to missions like this, except this one required a higher level of subtlety and a successful sneak attack was critical. Their intel informed them that the base was rigged to blow if any unrecognized technology was detected, including any disturbances in the radio waves. Because of this, they all turned off their communications signals once they approached the range of the base. At least, they were supposed to.

“I’m just trying to keep myself from freaking out.” She grumbled, slightly trailing behind Bucky as they crunched through the brittle layer of snow.

“Why? You should be freaking out. You should very much be freaking out right now. Considering we’re stranded in the middle of nowhere, with no connection to anyone who can help, and I’m stuck with you.” He recognized he was being cruel, but he didn’t have the strength to stop.

“It wasn’t my fault!” 

“The sooner you stop lying to yourself, the better.” Bucky responded without even looking over his shoulder. He hadn’t looked at her for the majority of their trek to the nearest safe house since they got separated from the rest of the group by the explosion.

“This is not my damn fault! I turned off my signal, just like Steve told us to.” She struggled to keep up with him, but she wouldn’t tell him that. She couldn’t show him any weakness–he’d just use it against her.

“Except you didn’t!”

“How are you so sure it was me? There were five of us!” She awkwardly jogged to get a bit ahead of him, and turned around to face him as she walked backward. “What makes you think it wasn’t you?”

“Please, like I would ever be so careless.” His gaze remained on the terrain ahead, and it looked like the trees of the woods were starting to thin out, signaling an exit soon.

“And I would?”

“Yes! Yes, you would. I knew from the start it was a bad idea to take you along. You can’t even follow simple instructions like turning off a signal.” He managed to pass her again, leaving her to struggle to stay next to him. He saw out of the corner of his eye her pointing a finger at him.

“I’m trying really hard not to take your attitude personally. You’ve been acting like a dick for the past week, but I’m sick of it.”

“Whatever you say, sweetheart.” 

“Don’t call me that.”

“Sweetheart?” He finally glanced at her. 

“Yes.”

“Why? Is it reserved for Steve?” Bucky’s eyes quickly returned to the path in front of him.

“What are you on about?” Genuine confusion laced her voice, but her question went unanswered as they reached a block in their path. 

“Y’know your genius safe house plan?” Bucky gestured to the map balled up in her hand, the thing they had been using to guide them to safety. “Well, looks like we’re here.”

“This can’t be right,” she shook her head, quickly unfolding the map, “maybe we got turned around.”

“Just look up.” 

She followed Bucky’s gaze to the sky, at which she finally realized the ridiculousness of their situation. They were stranded at the bottom of a steep cliff, which looked to stand nearly a hundred feet in the sky.

“You’ve got to be kidding.” Because who the fuck puts a safe house on top of a cliff? “There’s got to be an elevator or something, there’s no way we’re expected to climb this.”

They both scanned the base of the cliff, looking for any indication of a secret passage to the top. She ran her hand along the jagged rock and ice, and bit her bottom lip as she concentrated on the wall, eventually spotting a thick rope among a couple vines. 

“Shit.” 

Her voice gained Bucky’s attention, and he looked over to see her holding not one, but two ropes, each attached to a relatively large weaved basket. It wasn’t quite big enough for the two of them, but one person could definitely fit. 

“After you,” he mocked, gesturing to the basket that was meant to work as a (sketchy as hell) pulley system.

Instead of answering, she merely pointed to the inside of the damp basket. Bucky peered his head over to see the bottom had completely fallen apart, leaving a gaping hole where a person would supposedly stand. 

“Looks like we’re climbing.” Bucky sighed.

“I can’t–” 

“Afraid of heights?” He snapped.

“No, but–” 

“Good. Then there shouldn’t be a problem.” 

He grabbed a knife from his belt and efficiently cut both sides of the rope from the basket. She watched, dumbfounded, as he took one rope and tied it around his waist. Then, he gave the rope a hard tug, and satisfied by the lack of give, turned to his belt and grabbed three more knives. He grabbed duct tape out of his tac pants, and expertly taped one knife to the bottom of each shoe. Finally, he tossed her the duct tape, knowing she already had her own knives. She watched both impressed and annoyed as he firmly stuck his feet as best he could into the ice and rock of the cliff, and used the other knives in his hands as leverage.

He made it about ten feet up before glancing back down to see she hadn’t moved.

“Are you coming or what?” The impatience of his voice stung almost as much as the cold did her nose. 

She looked at him, then the rope, and then the knives attached to her legs, before making a move. Unlike Bucky, her combat boots came equipped with hidden spikes that could be used for climbing (although she had never used them for such activity, and normally used them as a treat when fighting, basking in the pride of catching her enemies off guard with a swift kick and metal spike to the face, groin, etc). She adjusted the spikes to be poking out of the toe of her boots, and tried not to think as she grabbed the second rope and knotted it around her waist. 

Ignoring her left hand, she grabbed only one knife opposed to Bucky’s two, and stabbed it into the ice. She cautiously looked down at her feet as she began her climb, and looked back up at her hand as she found purchase a foot above her head. Already exhausted from the fighting and explosion earlier, she winced at the tension in her right arm as she pulled herself up. 

At the slow pace she was going, Bucky was already 15 feet in the air by the time she was 3 feet off the ground.

Bucky looked down to see her far behind, and raised an eyebrow when he saw her climbing with only one hand.

“You’re supposed to use both hands, you know?” He mocked.

She rolled her eyes, but said nothing, as she let her left hand join her right hand on the handle of the knife protruding from the rock. Bucky noticed her silent grimace as she successfully pulled herself up to the next level. He continued to watch as she stiffly removed her right foot from the wall and placed it above her left foot, before once again grabbing the single knife with both her hands and pulling for a second before letting out an agonizing cry.

Out of curiosity more than frustration, he called down.

“What’s going on down there?” 

She briefly looked up at him before looking back at the ground, “I can’t climb.”

“Missed the training day on it?” 

His sarcasm went unappreciated as she growled.

“My wrist is broken, asshole.”

Her wrist is broken, and she’s climbing? What is she thinking?

“And you’re still trying to climb? You should’ve told me.” 

“I fucking tried telling you! But everytime I try to say something, you interrupt me! Constantly! Besides, what’s the point in telling you if you’re just going to brush it off?”

Bucky swiftly removed the knives in his hands from the cliff, and held onto his rope, before half-hopping and half-climbing down the wall to the ground.

“Bucky, just go,” she sighed, “I’ll figure something else out. I’m not going to be a burden on you.”

She said it in part because, yes, she didn’t want to burden him, but also because she didn’t want to hear his whiny complaints.

He ignored her protests and gently reached for her left hand, inspecting the incredibly swollen wrist. He winced at her soft whimper. He let go and simply looked at her.

“Hop down.” 

She didn’t like that he was ordering her around, but his voice was void of any emotion, and out of curiosity and self preservation skills, she obeyed.

“C’mon.” Bucky turned around so his back faced her.

After a couple moments of silence, he looked over his shoulder to see her face twisted in confusion.

“C’mon now, just get on.” He repeated, squatting down a bit more. “You’re going to have to hold on tight.”

Ignoring the absurdity of the situation, she did her best to climb onto his back, at which point he gently grabbed her non-injured arm and wrapped it around his neck to encourage her to not be afraid to cling to him.

After what likely was about twenty minutes of climbing in utter silence, minus the whipping of the cool wind, Bucky made the mistake of looking down. The good news was that they were almost at the top–probably about a quarter of the climb left. The bad news was that meant that they had already climbed about 75 feet, and despite Bucky’s fearless persona, he was not fearless.

“Fuck.” He whispered.

“What’s wrong?” She rested her chin on his right shoulder.

“Nothing… I just didn’t realize how high up we were.” He grimaced the moment he said it. He’d shown weakness. He’d given her ammo. “Gonna make fun of me now?” He started to shake just a little, and prayed that she would assume it was because of the cold and not his anxiety…even though it had been cold for the entirety of the climb.

“No.” She stated.

His head started to spin from the memories. He tried to push through it, but all he could think about was the first time he was this high up. It was as cold as this too. He felt as his left arm subconsciously twitched. 

The first time I was this high up, I still had two human arms.

A sweet voice interrupted his thoughts. 

“I think I can see the compound from here.” 

It was a stupid joke, but he couldn’t help but laugh a little.

“You know, I’m pretty scared of the ocean.” She continued.

He didn’t respond, unsure of where she was going with this. He continued to pull themselves up.

“Just deep water in general scares me. My brother always made fun of me for it.” 

Don’t look down, Bucky. Don’t look–

“One time when I was like–fifteen? I think? My family took a trip to this really big lake. We got on one of those pontoon boats and went out into the water.”

He was glad that she was so close to him, otherwise the whipping of the wind would’ve been too loud to hear her calming voice.

“My brother thought he was really funny, and told me to look over the edge of the boat while we were still in motion.”

He tried to grunt to indicate he was listening, but no noise came out.

“He pushed me right as my dad started speeding up. I fell in, and freaked out. Especially as I watched the boat leave me behind.”

He continued to listen to her and focused on her voice, and the vibrations. Her tone was casual, but he couldn’t help but sense she was telling him a secret.

“Luckily, my mom saw what happened, and got my dad to turn around.” She chuckled. “He claimed he was trying to help me get over my fear. But I got my revenge later that day, so it was fine.”

“What’d you do?” Bucky finally spoke up.

“Well, he’s afraid of peanut butter.” She tried to shrug, despite having one arm around his neck and the other hanging limply. 

“Do you mean allergic?”

“No, I mean afraid. The stuff freaks him out. He won’t go near it. He’s weird like that.” She sighed in remembrance, and continued.

“So once we got back to the house I grabbed some peanut butter, and slathered it into his hair when he wasn’t looking.”

Bucky looked up again and was surprised to see how close they were to the top. When did that happen?

“He screamed so loud–it was hilarious.” She smiled. “He ran to take a shower, flailing around and being dramatic. ‘Mom! She put peanut butter in my hair! My hair! Mommy, get it out!’” 

Worried that Bucky was judging her, she quickly added,

“He was seventeen at the time, by the way.”

Still no answer.

“I don’t think he’s forgiven me yet.” She whispered more to herself than Bucky, but he still nodded as he grabbed at the top of the cliff.

“We’re here.” Bucky didn’t mean for his voice to come across gruff, but the cold wasn’t helping his throat. 

“Thank you for carrying me.” She smiled once she had both feet on the ground. It didn’t reach her eyes, but he could still tell she meant it.

Slightly embarrassed, Bucky attempted to grumble out a ‘Thank you for distracting me,’ but he wasn’t sure she heard it.

Come on, you can do better than that Barnes. Just apologize to her, he thought.

“Listen, I know I’ve been acting like a–”

Bucky’s words were cut off by a mysterious and sudden mangled…shriek?

“Oh my God, Bucky.” She patted his arm to get him to turn around.

He obliged, and his eyes became saucers when he saw what had made the noise. 

At the top of the cliff was a partially snowy but also grassy plateau, inhabited by a herd of roaming goats. So, so many goats. 

“Look at all the goats!” She gasped.

Right as she had said it, one goat had snuck up to them and started biting at Bucky’s prosthetic. 

“Get off,” he quelled his shock and grumbled as he shook the animal off of his hand.

“Aw, it likes you.” She giggled, falling to her knees to pet the goat—more like ‘goats’, plural, because the animals seemed to multiply, and fast. 

“Let’s get inside. We need to fix that wrist.”

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Beside the disturbingly large population of goats, and the absurd location of the safe house, the house itself was fine. Well, it was shaped more like a barn, but it was decorated like a house. After coaxing Y/N away from the “adorable” (her words, not Bucky’s) goats, and inside, Bucky led Y/N to the forest green rug where he had started a fire in the fireplace. 

When he finished briefly looking around, Bucky grabbed some ice that had frozen outside the barn and wrapped it in a cloth from the kitchen. With her permission, Bucky carefully placed the ice pack where he saw the most bruising around her wrist. 

“So,” Bucky had settled himself across from her, so they could face each other as they talked. He couldn’t help the pang of sadness he felt as she stood up and backed away to sit on the couch.

She wouldn’t move away if I were Steve, he thought, staring into the fire. They’d probably cuddle up together like they do on the couch during movie nights at the tower. 

Y/N didn’t want to move away from Bucky, especially now that he was being amicable again. But the heat from the flames was melting the ice that cradled her wrist, and she didn’t want to add ‘soggy’ to her list of problems.

“So?” She asked, noticing Bucky never finished his thought.

“I’m just thinking about the logistics of this. There’s a high possibility we could be stuck here anywhere from a week to a month. Your signal was fried in the blast too, right?”

She nodded, and released her right hand from holding the ice, letting it balance on her wrist, as she reached into her jacket pocket and pulled out her signal. Definitely fried. 

He pulled out his own signal from where he had kept it in his pants pocket, and showed her how it was crushed. “Well, without our signals, our team can’t track us. We just have to hope that they’ll figure out that we made it to a safe house, and that they don’t check this one last. Because I’m pretty sure there are at least two more safehouses dedicated to the vicinity of the Hydra base, right?”

She nodded. “We got unlucky with this one.”

“First thing we need to worry about,” he raised his eyebrows, trying to gain her attention, “is food. I looked at the kitchen pretty quickly and there’s not that much stuff stocked. A couple cans of beans, and such. Not nearly enough for how long we’re going to be here though. So unless we want to climb back down again, and see if we can find any food anywhere…”

She squinted and tilted her head as if she was a confused puppy.

“We’re going to have to kill a goat.” He finished.

Her eyes went comically wide. “I am not letting you kill Cheetoh!”

Bucky shook his head, exasperated, “You’ve already named them?”

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The longer they were there, the worse the winds got. But that didn’t stop Bucky from hearing the strange overlap of whipping winds, leading him to lean into the noise from his spot on the couch. 

“Do you hear that?” Bucky nudged her.

“It sounds like the wind got a lot worse,” She nodded.

“No, something’s off.”

At Bucky’s concern, Y/N got up off the couch and beat him to the doors. She looked at Bucky, who stood directly behind her, before pushing hard to get the sliding door to budge. Instantly the biting cold attacked them again, and she had to place her right arm over her forehead to keep her hair from whipping into her eyes. Everything outside seemed to be an array of grays, until she was able to spot a shadowy figure emerge from the settling fog. A person appeared, as well as a helicopter.

“Sam?” She called, hoping her voice carried far enough to be heard above the wind.  

“Y/N! Bucky! Thank god you guys are okay,” Sam called back, and was quickly met by Y/N who had run the rest of the distance to meet him. Bucky was shortly behind. 

“I’ve never been so happy to see your face, Sam.” She giggled, setting her right hand appreciatively on his shoulder. 

Quickly spotting Steve exiting the chopper, Bucky hid a scowl as he watched Y/N light up and bound over to the bundled up blond, while calling, “Steve!” He wished he had looked away before seeing her pull him in for a hug.

Wanting to distance himself from the interaction, Bucky stood by Sam.

“How did you find us so fast?” Bucky shook his head, and raised his voice, as the wind started to pick up again. 

“My signal, man.” Sam yelled back, despite being three feet apart. 

“What?” Bucky wondered if he heard him right. 

Sam reached into the left pocket of Bucky’s under jacket, and pulled out a small familiar looking device. 

Bucky felt a punch to the gut as he suddenly remembered.

The group had just landed the quinjet deep into the forest. They couldn’t land too close to the base and risk setting off alarms, so they settled for a three mile hike away. Bucky and Sam were meant to approach from the north side, while Steve, Natasha, and Y/N planned to approach from the south side, so the group split off after the jet to take opposite round-a-bout paths. It was about two miles left to go when Sam started complaining. 

“Dude, does this thing actually fit in your ear?” Sam gestured to the communications device in his hand. “Because it keeps falling out. It’s getting on my nerves.”

Bucky gave a short grunt, which Sam translated to a ‘yes, it does fit in my ear.’

“I can’t,” Sam finally huffed, “I give up. I don’t have any pockets, can you hold this so I don’t lose it?” 

Simply wishing for Sam to shut up, he obliged, and shoved the tiny device into his pocket for safe keeping. Neither of them thought to turn it off first, because in their minds, and past experiences, it always stays turned on in the field. Excluding the moments when people turn them off in acts of defiance. 

About a mile later, both men heard a small rustling to their right. In hindsight, it was probably just a rabbit, but Sam suggested he go check it out, just in case. That’s what led to the two splitting up, but Bucky wasn’t worried. He knew that if there was a problem, Sam would’ve made it clear immediately. He also knew that Sam knew his way to the base all on his own. 

Bucky arrived at his location at the same time that Steve’s voice buzzed in his ear. At this point, the extra signal was long forgotten. 

“We’re in position.” Steve’s voice rattled. 

“10-4.” Bucky responded. 

“Alright, going dark now. Turn off your comms, let’s go.” 

Steve’s voice was followed by the soft beep of Bucky’s signal as he turned it off. 

He didn’t realize Sam’s signal was still active in his pocket.

“It was just bad luck dude, don’t feel too bad. I should’ve turned it off before I gave it to you, and I shouldn’t have assumed you’d turn it off yourself.” Sam tried to hide his pity with a half-smile.

“I–I was the leak?” Bucky whispered right as the wind started to calm again. He stared at the small device as Sam hid it in the pocket of his own coat. If only Sam had worn that on the way to the base.

“Yeah,” Sam said at a normal level now that the noise had nearly ceased, “but everyone’s safe now, that’s all that matters.” Sam reassuringly pat Bucky’s shoulder twice before looking back at Steve helping Y/N into the chopper.

Bucky let out a short hum, and focused on the ground. He wanted to crush that stupid little signal. He hated the way it made his chest feel tight, and his heart heavy with guilt. 

Sam’s voice interrupted Bucky’s thoughts.

“Those are a lot of goats, man.”

Before Bucky could respond, Steve appeared in front of them.

“Hey Buck,” Steve smiled, pulling him in for a quick hug, “I’m glad we found you so fast. Are you injured at all?” Steve pulled back to examine Bucky’s form.

“No, I’m fine,” Bucky swiftly assured, before feeling the throbbing of guilt consume him again, “but Y/N’s wrist is broken.”

“Don’t worry, I know. I already told her I’d take her straight to medical once we get back. Speaking of, we should get going.”

“Right.” 

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Three hours later, the group made it back to New York. As the ramp lowered, Bucky quietly pulled Steve aside.

“I can walk Y/N to med.” He nodded to where she was sitting, staring off into space.

“You sure?” Steve struggled to hide the surprise in his voice.

“Yeah.” Bucky nodded.

“Okay.”

Bucky gave his friend a firm pat on the shoulder before sauntering toward Y/N, who remained in her seat.

“Come on, Y/N.” He held out his right hand, offering her to take it.

“Huh?” She blinked twice, and stared up at him, eyebrows scrunched.

“I’m walking you to med.” 

“Oh. Okay.” She paused for a moment before standing up. “So much for being stuck for months.”

“Yeah, I guess that calculation was a bit off.”

“I’m just glad we’re back home. And that you didn’t need to kill any goats.”

“I was going to leave Cheetoh alone.”

“I don’t know if I believe you.”

The rest of their walk was relatively short, but silent, until they reached the doors of Dr. Cho. Bucky didn’t get a chance to say goodbye, as Dr. Cho was given a heads up to Y/N’s injury, and already whisked her away.

Bucky rocked back and forth on the balls of his feet for a minute, until he decided it would be uncomfortable for all parties involved if he stayed. He knew she’d be alright, he convinced himself, so there was no need to be in the way.

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A couple of the Avengers found themselves mentally recovering in the lounge, waiting for Y/N to get out of her evaluation.

“She’ll probably be out for two months. Broken wrist and all that.” Steve relayed, taking a seat on the couch.

“Two months?” Sam repeated, looking up from his bag of chips.

“I think she’s pretty bummed, so try not to mention it.”

As if on cue, Y/N entered the room.

“Hey guys,” she smiled, waving with the arm that wasn’t in a cast.

“Hey Hon. How’s the wrist?”

“Really, Tony?” Natasha glared at him.

“What?” He feigned innocence, throwing his hands in the air.

“It’s fine guys. It doesn’t hurt that bad, I’m more embarrassed than anything.” 

“Embarrassed by what? I think that cast makes you look tough.” Sam added, doing his best to cheer others up as always. “And hey, you and Bucky can be twins now.”

“Yeah, kinda. Look at that Buck!” She lifted her left arm in the direction of Bucky, who had been silently brooding in the corner. The bulk could be seen under the fabric of her hoodie, but she felt the need to emphasize the point by taking the pullover off.

She first tried tugging the sleeve off her cast, but it was a bit too snug. After a couple more moments of failing, she switched tactics to just pulling off the hoodie from over her head, but that got her stuck in an awkward position too.

After a second too long of borderline uncomfortable silence and shuffling, Steve spoke up.

“Do you want help with that?”

“Nope, I got it. Just gimme- a second…” 

Somehow she had gotten the garment twisted around her right arm and upper body.

“Hon, just let us-” Tony started, but was quickly cut off.

“You know what? It’s suddenly cold again. There’s a weird draft over here.” Y/N quickly tugged the hoodie back down and gave a weary smile. “I’m going to go to my room.”

She ran off before anyone could offer an opinion. Unsurprisingly, Steve was the first to speak.

“I’m going to go check on her.”

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A soft knock came to her door.

“Come in.”

“Hey, Y/N.” Steve gave a sympathetic smile as he gently closed the door behind him.

“Hi Steve, what’s up?” She looked fine, but he could hear the strain in her voice.

“Nothing, I just wanted to make sure you were alright.” He stood in front of where she sat at the edge of the bed.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I just got a little frustrated, it’s no big deal.” She shrugged it off, avoiding his eye line.

“It’s okay to feel frustrated.” 

“I know. I shouldn’t though. It’s my fault, anyways.”

“How so?”

She cast her gaze to the floor and swept a hand through her hair.

“Well, I think the whole reason we were ambushed was because of me.”

“What? Why would you say that?”

She took a deep breath.

“After Bucky and I got stranded after the attack, I was sure it wasn’t my fault. But then he started saying things, and they were mean… but he was also right. I started second guessing myself, and I thought about it. I mean, out of all of us, I’m the newest. And I was so sure that I turned my signal off…but now I don’t know. I can’t remember. And if it really is my fault they found us, then it’s my fault that fight happened, and it’s my own doing that this—” she pointed to her cast, “happened. I just feel stupid.”

“You weren’t the leak, Y/N.”

“What?”

“It was an accident. Bucky was carrying an extra signal, and no one thought to turn it off.”

“Bucky?” She looked bewildered, shaking her head at this fact.

“Yes.”

“Does he know?”

“Um…I’m not sure. I didn’t tell him. We never had a proper briefing after the chaos derailed our schedule when we got back.”

“I have to go find him.” Her shock turned to a quiet determination of which Steve decided not to push her on.

“Y/N?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you still want your hoodie off?”

“Yes please.”

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“Buck, wait up!”

Bucky slowed his jog around the track to a stop when he heard her voice.

“Y/N?”

“Hey.” She gave him a sweet smile once she caught up, one he felt undeserving of.

“Is there something you need?” 

“No. I just had to tell you something.”

“I’m listening.” He nodded, crossing his arms. He didn’t mean it in a defensive way, it just happened.

“First of all, you should know it’s not your fault.”

“What?” 

“I just found out how we got ambushed, and I figured I should tell you.”

“Oh.” He fought the urge to look away.

“Sam gave you his signal, right? But it was never turned off. It was just an accident. But I needed to tell you, because I know you’re going to blame yourself when they tell everyone at the briefing.” Her concerned tone and eyes met him for the briefest second before he wiped his hands down his face.

“I feel like an asshole.”

“No, please don’t.” She softly touched his elbow.

“I’m going to be honest Y/N, I thought you were going to take it a lot worse.”

“What do you mean?”

“When you found out that it was me. I was worried you were going to get really mad.”

“Wait, you already knew?”

“Yeah? Sam told me right when he found us…I thought you knew I knew, isn’t that why you just told me all that?”

“I thought you didn’t know. I wanted to be the one to tell you before the briefing, to tell you not to worry about it, because I knew you’d take it hard. But–but you already knew?”

Bucky just stared, jaw dropped at a loss for words.

“And–” She scoffed, “—and you didn’t tell me?!”

“Y/N, I-” 

“Don’t ‘Y/N’, me! You—you, jerk! I can’t believe you knew all this time that you were the leak, and after belittling me and convincing me it was my fault, you didn’t tell me the truth!” She laughed in disbelief. “You selfish, cold-hearted, dickhead!”

He wasn’t sure what to say, but it didn’t matter, because she kept going.

“I’m stuck off missions for the next two months with a broken wrist, and you let me think it was my own doing! You made me feel like an idiot!”

“I was going to tell you—”

“When? After I was already told at the meeting? I can’t believe you!” She turned around briefly as if she couldn’t even face him, but quickly turned back. “To think I felt bad for you when I found out it was you who got us ambushed!”

With each insult she managed to get a little closer to him. So close, in fact, that Bucky was struggling to even comprehend what she was saying anymore. All he could think of was how close he was to her, how his hands were just itching to grab her waist. His head was nearly empty when he finally did carefully grab her and pull her closer to him. She paused her rampage to look up into his adoring eyes at his sudden movement.

“Bucky?” She whispered, a swirl of confusion and intrigue.

He replied by placing his lips gently on hers, feeling the warmth of her touch. She reciprocated, kissing him back for a couple seconds before bringing her hands to his chest to furiously push him away, followed by a swift slap to the face.

“Jeez-” The sudden change from bliss to reality was shocking.

“I can’t believe you James!” She yelled, her flustered look from both the kiss and her rage. “I can’t believe you just kissed me! I have a right to be angry, fuck you for thinking you can shut me up by locking my lips!”

‘Shit, I messed up,” he starts to think, about to spew apologies, when he gets cut off by her grasping his hoodie in her hand and pulling him back in for another kiss. The moment his shock subsides and he sinks back into the waves of her kiss, he’s just as abruptly taken from it, head dizzy as she parts from him just to slap him across the cheek again.

“Ow! What was that for?” He brings his hand to the sting. He’s so dazed and confused, a hurricane of thoughts and emotions all fighting for his attention.

“You make me so mad! I’m fuming right now! You are so selfish—”

She cuts herself off, pulling him in for another kiss, one that he’s still not prepared for. His frustration rising at her antics, he brings both hands to either side of her face and holds her steadily against him, resulting in their first kiss that lasted longer than five seconds. When he finally feels her about to let go for breath, he lets his lips leave hers, and continues to cradle her head, their foreheads resting against each other as they both gasp for breath. 

“You’re not going to slap me again, are you?” He carefully asks, looking into her eyes.

“No.” 

“You’re sure?”

“No.”

He laughs and slowly lets go of her.

“You okay?”

After a few seconds of silence, she responds with hurt. “Why didn’t you tell me?” 

“I’ve already given you enough reason to hate me, I was sure that if you found out I was the leak, you’d finally hate me for good.”

“I don’t hate you Bucky. I always figured you kind of hated me. Lately you’ve been acting kind of like-”

“A dick, I know,” he nods. “And I’m sorry for that. Really, I am. It’s just-” Bucky’s voice seizes as she sees him look intensely at her mouth.

“It’s what?”

“Can I please kiss you again?”

She slowly nods, and allows Bucky to kiss her for the fourth time. It was fucking heaven to him. Regardless, he abruptly pulls back when a thought crosses his mind.

“Shit, what about Steve?”

“What about Steve?”

“Don’t you like each other?” 

She couldn’t help but think his concern was cute, the way he acted like he was talking about middle school crushes.

“Bucky, no,” she laughs, “Steve and I have just always been really good friends. You know, when people are nice to each other, and they like to hang around each other?”

“I just always thought that-”

“Never. He’s my friend. And I can guarantee you he feels the same as me.”

She lets him process the information, watching him nod to himself as if taking it in.

“Oh.”

“Are you jealous?” She smirks, giving him a flirty shove.

His cheeks go pink as he starts to stutter.

“Jea- jealous? No, not jealous. Just-”

Was he jealous? Was it emasculating to admit it? It doesn’t matter, he doesn’t care, he’s sick of lying.

“Okay, maybe I was a little bit jealous.” He mumbled, drawing his attention to a pebble on the ground that he was toeing. “So, you do like me, right?” 

She lifts his chin upwards and gives him the softest, sweetest, slowest peck. 

“Does that answer your question?” She flutters.

“I think so. But the slapping earlier was a bit confusing.” He teased.

“Sorry about that.”

“It’s alright, it was well deserved.”

“No, I still shouldn’t have hit you.” She said with certainty. “But I am still a little bit upset that you didn’t tell me.”

“Doll, I know I should’ve told you that you weren’t the leak. I wish–”

“No,” she shakes her head, “I’m upset you never told me how you felt about me. Instead you acted-”

“Like a dick, I know–”

“No, I was going to say like a child. But yeah, a dick, too.”

They just stood together for that moment, appreciating the start of something new. New, and beautiful, with a lot less animosity, and a lot more kisses.

A/N: If you’ve made it this far, thank you, thank you, thank you! I hope you liked it. If you feel like it, please lemme know your thoughts! I hope you have a peaceful day/night 💕

[rafeandonlyrafe]

the compound part two

words: 2.6k

warnings: very brief illusion to sex (still sfw), alien apocalypse au!, violence, guns/shooting, little bit of angst

part one / part two

you let out a groan as you wake up, stretching before realizing you aren't laying atop your usual bedroll laid over grass and soil, but rather a real bed.

“shh, it's okay.” rafe presses a kiss to your forehead. 

“oh my god, it was real.” you open your eyes to rafe hovering over you, a look of slight concern in his eyes.

“it's real, im here.” he says softly. you look down at your body. rafe had partially undressed you to make your sleep more comfortable, as well as bandaged the cut on your leg.

“was it bad?” you ask, tilting your knee to see your calf. the gauze is completely clean and sterile white, not something you've seen since the aliens came.

“it wasn't too deep. you won't need stitches but will have to stay off it for a bit.” rafe moves to lay down next to you, letting you snuggle into his chest. you block it out for a minute. block out the pain, the fear, the death and destruction. in this moment, it's just you and rafe.

“i also cleaned you up a bit. still sleep just as deep.” rafe smirks. you examine your body closer, arms and legs gently washed clean from the dirt and grime built up that felt inevitable.

“how did you get here?” you question. “how did you become in charge of all of… this?”

“my uncle, the one in the military. he was stationed here. i figured since he was high ranking, he would be kept in charge of the base while the other soldiers went to fight the aliens…” rafe continues to explain his story. how as soon as he arrived, his uncle made him his right hand man until the base was attacked by aliens. rafe managed to survive along with a few others who looked to him for leadership. they reinforced the base and expanded ever since.

“how much food do you have?” you ask. 

“enough.” rafe simply says, which makes you frown and pick your head up to look at him.

“is it true you don't help anyone? even those who beg?”

rafe sighs. he knew this topic would inevitably come up. you have a soft heart, sure you've built up walls after being burnt too many times trying to help others, but your nature is still gentle and sweet compared to rafes.

“i gotta put my men first. i can't just give handouts to anyone who wants them. we'd have nothing left for ourselves.” rafe hopes the explanation is enough to dissuade you. “but you're first now, baby. the men here will protect you. you don't have to fight anymore.”

you allow rafe to turn you onto your back, to kiss you while hovering over you, relaxing his body into yours as you reconnect, trying desperately to make up for lost time.

--

“when is the next hunting party going out?” you ask rafe, scratching your fingers over his head, rubbing through his hair as he looks at the various papers scattered on his desk. maps of nearby areas, lists upon lists of ingredients, even a guide to native plants.

“probably dawn tomorrow. we are hoping for deer.” rafe says, glancing at the schedule that he has planned out. more detailed for upcoming days, while far off plans are just jotted in.

“can i go with them? im pretty good with a bow.”

rafes hands stop shuffling through the papers, air in the room suddenly going stale. “y/n… it's not safe outside the fence.” 

“i lived outside the fence for months. i can hold my own. plus, your guys will have guns.” guns can be hit or miss after the aliens shut down a lot of technology, but thankfully the military ones kept in the base were in pretty good working order. still, everyone prefers their deer to be taken down with arrows.

rafe pushes away from the desk, turning to pull you down onto his lap. “no. im sorry. just… no.”

“rafe, im going to go fucking crazy just staying inside the fence. you barely even let me outside.” it's been two months of adjusting to compound life, two months of reconnecting with rafe, watching him lead with confidence and authority. two months of the itching feeling to move growing.

“i know the alien attacks have lessened. a lot of people think they've pulled out, but we still have occasional sightings. you know how quickly things happen. if you're outside, you're vulnerable.”

you sigh, seeing the look in rafes eye. so much pain and hurt. “okay.” you nod. “okay, not tomorrow. but at some point, i need to do… something, anything.”

“we'll figure it out.” rafe nods. “i promise.”

“thank you.” you nod. so many things have changed about your dynamic since the end of the world, but it still feels familiar at moments, you sitting on his lap, leaning forward and pressing your lips against his.

“i need you.” you whisper against rafes lips, hands moving down his chest.

“i should keep working.” rafe hums, even as his hands move underneath your shirt.

“but you won't.” you giggle.

--

you stand behind rafe as he hands out assignments. compound life is a lot different than anything you expected. they focus much more internally, whether it's reinforcing the base or making things more comfortable for the men and few women there.

“klaus, tim and fiona…” rafe reads off the names, the three stepping forward. you know tim a little bit, with him being one of the closest men to rafe, but you haven't interacted with most of the people, rafes orders keeping everyone busy.

“we are turning the central courtyard into a garden. fruits, vegetables, whatever you can get to grow.” rafe explains. he's taken you past the central courtyard before, completely surrounded by compound buildings. it'll be a lot of work, it's completely overgrown, no big trees but years of brush build up.

“y/n.” rafe calls you forward next. you blink at your boyfriend before stepping forward. “you'll be project lead.”

“yes- yes, sir.” you've never called rafe sir before, but it seems right considering the environment, everyone else addressing him as such. rafe didn't mention this assignment to you, but you're glad he did as he hands you a packet of papers, nodding to you to head off with the three compound crew.

you glance back at rafe as you head out of the auditorium. he's already assigning new orders, but catches your eye, nodding to you for encouragement.

you go through the papers with everyone, finding the three people rafe chose an easy mesh. you should have known, they're likely hand picked for you rather than for the actual project.

“i was a botanist before…” klaus says, pausing when your eyes widen, clearly surprised. you never would have guessed a man with such a hard exterior had a job like that before the aliens came.

“a lot has changed since.” klaus grunts out. “everyone is different.”

“i know.” you frown, breaking eye contact. “i didn't mean any offense.”

silence stretches out until fiona clears it with a clearing of her throat. “well, as a botanist or whatever, what plants or shit do we… well, plant.”

you like fiona already. it makes sense that she has been thriving at the compound, her personality being even tougher than most of the men.

klaus begins to explain, and before long the day is over, parting ways as you head back to rafes chambers.

“sorry i sprung that on you.” rafe says when you enter the room, clearly holding back to see if you're upset. “i just wanted to give you something to do.”

“it's okay, i understand.” you nod. springing it on you also deprives you of the chance to say no, which you can't blame rafe for. “it's also good that the rest of the compound sees me contributing.”

“it is.” rafe nods. “can i kiss you then?”

“yes, im not mad.” you smile at your boyfriend, wrapping your arms around his shoulders as his lips meet yours.

“our canned food is running low. barely, but it is. this garden is really important, baby.” rafe says softly. “whatever plants grow best, we will be planting more.”

“it's a good plan.” you nod. “sustainable.”

--

“i guess it makes sense.” you shrug as you fill out your reports. it seems silly to hand in papers stating to rafe what you tell him every night, but it's important to document the progress of the garden.

“what does?” tim questions, also charting his own responsibilities, having split up the work between the four of you to make it easier.

“that the native plants are the ones growing best.”

“i didn't even realize that.” tim laughs, his southern accent thick. he's one of the few at the compound who were stationed here before the attack, originally from louisiana, but claimed he has no interest in going back, knowing there's no one out there waiting for him.

“i think your boy toy is thinking about expanding the garden.” fiona smirks, always coming up with creative names for rafe, especially after seeing the way he hovers over you, even shooting daggers into klaus when he got just a little too close while planting seeds.

“that'd be great. i know we have canned food still and the deer but having fresh food is so needed.” you look up to the courtyard, having chosen to work in an office with a view of the garden. the fresh air is also great for you. you know it's the real reason rafe gave you the job. it allowed you to be outside while still being surrounded by four walls.

“let's call it for tonight.” tim says, setting down his pen. “we have all of tomorrow to work on the reports too.”

“sounds good.” you nod, waving goodbye to everyone until you're the only one in the room. you look out onto the flourishing garden once more before heading out. you know you're not truly alone as two men shadow you, armed to the teeth with guns and knives. your protection, sanctioned by rafe. you turn the corner of the compound, hearing their footsteps speed up to keep visual of you.

instead of turning down the hallway leading towards rafes bedroom, you turn the opposite way towards the exit. you take a deep breath upon pushing open the doors, allowing yourself to breathe in the fresh air, the smell of trees and nature thick instead of the musty smell inside the compounds old walls.

“ma’am.” a harsh voice rings out from the shadows, making you jump. “rafe said to keep you inside.”

“oh please.” you roll your eyes. “the compound hasn't been attacked in months. ill be fine.”

at the capping of your words, a gunshot sounds from further down the fenceline. “get back inside, now!” the man yells at you, sprinting to see what was shot at. maybe it's just a misfire, or someone got lucky and saw a deer.

your detail finally realizes where you've gone, the doors opening behind you as shouts sound out from where the gunfire was heard. you look back at the men, sworn to protect you. they usher you back inside, but instead you turn the other way, towards the noise and action.

you just want to see what's going on as they creep behind you. you get closer, having to squint through the darkening sky to see that the fence has been torn down in one section, flattened like a stampede has rolled through. that's when you hear it. the familiar clicking and rattling associated with the aliens. you hold in your gasp, knowing noise will just attract them towards you as you press your back into the brick wall, hoping that you're camouflaged as you peek around the corner of the building, seeing the alien, a grotesque mix of bloody flesh and robotic gears and metal.

“y/n!” a familiar voice whisper-screams at you. “i need to get you back inside, now.”

you turn away from the corner as the alien bends down over a man who is clearly already long gone to see tim, a gun in hand. 

“kill that thing.” you gesture your head around the corner, wanting it gone before it can do any further harm.

“my orders are to keep you safe. ill get you inside first and then we will take it out.” tim explains in a quiet voice. you both realize far too late that it wasn't quiet enough as the clicking gets closer.

“run!” tim shouts, throwing himself around the corner, gun spraying bullets as you sprint, the two guards pull you back, pushing you across the opening towards the closest doors.

you scramble when you hear a scream from tim. “no!” you shout, grabbing one of their guns. one you barely know how to use, but you need to save your friend.

you rush back around the corner when you see the alien over top of tim, one of his arms in its disgusting mouth. you let out a war cry, hoping the bullets previously sprayed into him will be enough for your shots to be the final straw and kill it as you raise your gun, firing at least enough to distract the monster, head turning towards you. 

you back up but continue shooting, joined by your guards who quickly flank you. it must be a mature alien, with how many bullets its taking to take it down. you back up, allowing the men to shoot as you back towards the entrance, ready to take cover if needed.

“y/n!” rafe shouts, bursting through the doors. “get inside, now!” your gun clicks, out of bullets. you drop it and run to rafe, letting him pull you inside. you look through the windows on the door, through the thick bulletproof glass as the alien finally falls.

“tims hurt, he needs help.” you tell rafe, but he doesn’t seem to hear you as his face is one of anger.

“you disobey me? i told you to stay inside, and look what happens when you don’t listen!” 

“disobey?” you rip yourself out of rafes hold, taking a step back as men rush out the doors between the two of you, to help tim, get rid of the aliens nasty carcass, and most importantly to the compound, repair and reinforce the fence, the alien obviously able to exploit a weak spot.

you press your back against the wall until the stream of men stop. “in case you forgot, i’m not one of your soldiers. im your fucking girlfriend.” you stomp away from rafe, knowing he can’t follow as he has to lead the men outside.

--

“tims fine.” its the first thing rafe says to you as he enters into your bedroom. you’re changed into your pajamas, but are sat on the edge of the bed, feet dangling as your toes touch along the soft rug.

“his arm from the elbow down wasn’t saveable, but he’ll live.” rafe undoes his weapons before moving to kneel in front of you. you should speak, reply, but you can’t force your mouth to open.

“i’m sorry. sorry for treating you like that.” rafe places his hands on your knees, glad that you don’t push him away. “i love you. i love you so fucking much and i don’t want to lose you. i’ll give you what freedom i can but- but i need you to keep yourself safe too. if you wanted to leave the building that badly, you could have told me.” “i know.” your voice is hoarse. “i love you too.” “im just so fucking scared all the time. i think about you constantly. whenever i can’t see you, im just fucking anxious.” rafe places his head into your lap, relieved when your fingers rub over his scalp, his hair cropped short in the same fashion as most of the men.

“you’re not gonna lose me, rafe.” you promise him. “we found each other. here, at the end of the world, we made our way back to each other.”

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[eiraeths]

For as long as Gaz can remember, he’s associated people with certain songs. It’s no surprise to anyone who’s known him long enough. Music has been a part of his life since day one; a low-volumed CD-radio combo on the kitchen counter always playing in the background and singing along to whatever was playing in the car.

One of his favorite activities growing up was standing behind the school with a group of friends crowded around now outdated technology, showing each other all the favorite songs and whatever came to mind. Even now, with years gone by since he’s last spoken to them, all he has to do is hear their song and he’s stuck reminiscing for the rest of the day. Music is how to make a moment last forever.

He’s not sure what kick-started this little game of mental association of his, but it’s never left him and he never wants it to. Until now, at least.

From the first day he met Soap, he knew Soap would leave a mark on his soul for eternity. He didn’t care for Soap as a person at first either, though his fellow sergeant was too hot-headed; too brash and impulsive. How someone could carve out a space for themself with words alone was beyond Gaz. He didn’t understand it. Didn’t want to.

But that’s the thing: Soap was so damn good at carving out a space for himself. It wasn’t long before Gaz knew he couldn’t call Soap anything else but a friend. Their time enlisted together marches on and one day a simple friend turns into an occasional-flirt-with and think-what-could-be friend.

Gaz tried to establish a line. He tried to push his pestering emotions down and keep the status quo. Soap had become one of the most important persons in his life and Gaz couldn’t fuck that up. Their flirting—whatever it could be called—was simply another little game, just like Gaz’s music association.

And here comes endearing, impulsive John Soap MacTavish, with his stupidly charming words and larger-than-life personality who crashes through all of Gaz’s trepidations like it’s just another Monday. John Soap MacTavish,who could carve his way into any clique and made sure he fit seamlessly into every crevice—as if he was passively testing fate. Who carved his way into Gaz’s life like he’s been there all along.

Gaz doesn’t remember where that self-imposed line was anymore.

Smooth as ever, Soap slots into Gaz’s daily routine without a single hitch in the process. In no time, so many of Gaz’s favorite songs became reminders of Soap’s place in his life. He shares this with Soap too, of course. This unconditional, amorous thing of theirs means everything is on the table. Every part of them under stage lights for criticism.

Soap’s enamored with all the songs from the start. He doesn’t think it’s strange, even shares his own. After that, the two of them could often be found sitting together sharing a pair of earbuds, whether it be somewhere on base or post-op cooldown.

The love of his life, John Soap MacTavish without a single bone of shame in his body who’d drag Gaz up to dance and single off key and so severely out of tune and not give a damn. Who’d do anything just to see Gaz crack a smile or shake his head in amusement.

Soap was damn good at that. It makes sense in hindsight. Someone who’s so good with people and so eager to serve needs something to do with that seemingly boundless energy.

Gaz stares at the single box filled to the brim with all of Soap’s possessions. All of that boundless, never-ending energy,and for what? Just to end up as another KIA in a soon to be forgotten document.

It has to be some kind of cruel joke for everything that larger-than-life John Soap MacTavish was to be able to fit in a standard brown packing box. It doesn’t make sense. None of Soap’s beloved mathematical equations could even begin to explain it. It shouldn’t be possible.

It’s not fucking fair.

How could this one box be all that’s left of him?

Without thinking, Gaz picks up his phone and presses play on their playlist.

Let us die young or let us live forever

We don’t have the power, but we never say never

Sitting in a sandpit, life’s a short trip

The music’s for the sad man

Life’s cruelest game was giving unconditional a price tag. Someone leaves first and someone has to think about how they had the rest of their lives to discover together. The pieces of grief won’t pick themself up.

Someone has to stay behind and stare at the perfectly carved hole left in the other’s departure.

Forever young, I want to be forever young

Do you really want to live forever?

[lycheedr3ams]

Situationship with Konig (Part 1)

fem!reader x situationship!konig

MDNI

Part 2

more of a drabble than anything. smut mentioned in detail. brief mention of konig beating people up. drinking. angst, no comfort :(

this turned out to be much longer than i thought. i just had an idea and rolled with it. i love angst

It all started when Konig first was recruited to 141 for his skills as a soldier. The moment you, the shy civilian-employee IT girl, laid eyes on him, you knew you were ruined. And Konig knew it too.

after a few drunken nights of just talking, he finally started getting handsy. in the middle of a passionate make-out session, with his cock throbbing against your clothed crotch, he told you he's not looking for a relationship. just some fun, and nothing more. you lied and said you wanted the same, you said that it was okay. that you would be the person he can have fun with whenever he needed.

your conversations - if they could even be called that - mostly happened behind locked doors in late hours of the night, whispered words of "fuck me", "just like that" and similar iterations. no one could hear the way konig unraveled you against his mattress while tearing you heart apart at the same time.

konig would do his missions with 141 and then be gone for whatever KorTac wanted him to do. he'd usually say goodbye to you, just a polite nod of his hooded head to acknowledge your existence. you wanted to call him when he was gone. but you didn't have his number. you laid in your bed and cried about it for so long, and you swore that the next time you saw him, you wouldn't even so much as breathe in his direction.

it seems your body, and maybe some other part of you deep down, had other plans. no matter how mad you were at him, you kept going back to him. maybe it was the way his hands held your waist as he pounded you from behind, or the way he'd kiss your neck gently when he entered you. maybe it was how he held your hand as he fucked you sometimes that made you think there was a chance for something more.

if konig ever needed help with his computer, or other piece of technology, he'd go to you. but his questions would be short, if he even spoke to you at all. sometimes, he'd just hand you the tablet or device he needed help with, and expected you to know what the issue was. despite something screaming at you inside to tell him to fuck off, you always took the device from him with a smile. maybe it was the way his eyes lingered on you as you worked, or how he'd watch as you walked around the mess hall during mealtimes, that convinced you there was a chance.

before this whole thing happened, you two would converse often, and maybe even could have called each other friends. but konig seemed to change after you got more involved. you convinced yourself it was because he had feelings for you, and he was nervous. but he'd stare lustfully at other women on base, just like he would at you. but maybe it was that one night, when he was so fucking drunk and insisted you ride him, that he told you you're his first and you're the only one he links with. or maybe it was when he instinctively got possessive over you when some guys were hitting on you at a bar. maybe it was the way he beat the shit out of them in the nearby alleyway, that made you think you had a chance.

and so when he told you that he had been dismissed from 141, you convinced yourself that you were okay. you nodded at him and said "take care of yourself", and his gaze lingered on you the last time he ever saw you. Gaz, Soap, Ghost, even Price, they all knew you were sad over something.

"You know he left on his own, don't ya?" Soap told you when he found you crying alone somewhere on base.

your heart stopped.

"what are you talking about?" you asked Soap.

"Konig left on his own. he didn't want to be on the team anymore."

your heart dropped in your chest.

he had lied to you.

and you never knew that Konig carried that burden. that deep in his heart, he believed that he could never be good enough for you, that he couldn't give you what you deserved. so he was a coward, and he left. he couldn't look you in the eye anymore.

[histronic-gizmo]

Prickcest Speculation Masterpost

I wanted to gather together all of the little screenshots, gifs and hypothesises surrounding C-137's backstory, particularly in relation to Rick Prime

Comparisons

On the left is the Season 3 Deceptive memory that our Rick used to trick the federation. On the right is the scene from the memory Morty sees when he opens Rick's downloaded brain in season 5. Both are screenshots of C-137's final line before Prime leaves. In S3, C-137 says "A different kind of Rick, I guess" and in S5, we don't know what he's saying

C-137 looks very sad in the S5 memory. Prime's face looks stunned, rather than angry. If they had a previous relationship, we can guess that maybe C-137 is cutting Prime off in this scene or 'breaking up' with him.

On the left is the S3 screenshot and the right is S5. Both show Prime holding the portal gun out to C-137

In the S3 memory, it's shown to be the apparent first time C-137 has seen inter-reality technology like this. When Prime enters at all in this memory, C-137 looks completely shocked. In S5, Rick doesn't look taken off guard or surprised at all. This implies it wasn't the first time he'd seen the technology and the conversation wasn't likely centered around the creation and usage of it. Maybe Prime was offering to take C-137 with him on his travelling of the multiverse.

Left is S3, right is S5. Both are the scene where Prime is walking away.

While not as significant as the other differences, we can see that C-137 doesn't turn to look at Prime while he's leaving in S5. He doesn't need to watch as he walks away because he's seen the portal tech before, or maybe he can't bare to watch him leave.

Lines

Rick Prime talks about not teaming up anymore when talking to hermit Jerry in S6E1. In S6E10, C-137 goes on a rant to Morty about how when you let people in they stop respecting you and "kill your family". It's implied that Prime is the one who dropped the bomb that killed C-137's family, and it's what C-137 himself assumes, so he's clearly talking about Prime. This means that he and Prime definitely knew each other before the inciting incident, otherwise what C-137 says doesn't make sense.

In S6E1, we see a hologram C-137 used to help identify Prime in his search of revenge. We see this small clip matches up with what we see in S3. We do see that Prime says "Ricks don't pass on this", however we dont hear the rest of the conversation, so we don't know if it's actually about accepting portal travel or that it was the first time these two met.

Parallels

We know that it is confirmed that C-137 was in love with Birdperson. We can see from Rick's memory of the Battle of Bloodridge, his argument with Bird Person very clearly parallels his falling out Prime, with both holding out a portal gun and then one leaving through a portal. This could imply there was a romantic or sexual connection between the two of them.

We also see a parallel between Space Beth + Domestic Beth and Rick Prime + C-137. Domestic Beth and Space Beth fall in love with each other. Domestic Beth doesn't do any grand adventures, she's a horse surgeon and has a family, like C-137 did. Space Beth had adventures and travelled the universe, like Prime did.

In Bethic Twinstinct, Space Beth says "You're the housewife, and I'm the space lady, and yet you're the one who chewed me up and spit me out?"

As I mentioned earlier, if we assume based off the body language in the season 5 memory that C-137 was most breaking things off with Prime. So Prime was also 'chewed up and spit out' despite being the epic space adventurer and not the family guy.

Beth also asks C-137 if he's "forgotten the ice cream before" (had relations with another version of himself), and he says "drill me for details when I'm drunker". Which, to me, implies he very much has.

The fact that rickcest was confirmed with this line in the same season we see C-137's "they kill your fucking family" line and Prime's "I don't team up anymore" line seems to be foreshadowing something.

Other Ideas

The "Cult" One

I first heard of this one in this video

Lonny proposes the idea that Prime was in fact going around and giving Ricks portal technology in order to recruit them into joining a group of Ricks. They points to Prime mentioning he specifically MANAGED people ("managing people is such a headache"), which implies a group of people.

They also bring up the wall of Ricks we see in the S5 flashback that C-137 uses to find more Ricks to kill. It may have been Prime's little cult following.

It doesn't explain a lot of the stuff that implies a previous relationship with C-137, so I believe that the two ideas probably go hand in hand.

It's also worth pointing out that the wall of Ricks has what appears to be a citadel symbol. The only thing is, C-137 is apparently one of the founders of the Citadel, but we see him kill a large gathering of Ricks, and we see this citadel symbol pre-citadel.

I am literally only realizing this as I'm writing this post, so I don't have a put together idea of what it may mean. I think it's possible that maybe Evil Morty was involved in that original Rick Cult, because I don't think that symbol became the Citadel's until after he was elected. That's off the top of my head, though.

The "Time Travel" One

This one isn't one with much backing, however I think it's neat. Credit for this one goes to this Tumblr post.

This person suggested that maybe the reason C-137 hates time travel so much is because Prime might've lied and said he was C-137 from the future. He hates it because it was used to manipulate him

Misc.

In S6E10, we briefly see a hologram of Prime that doesn't match with any footage we've seen of him before.

I don't have any clever comments about how this could fit into prickcest as I'm writing, but I would like to include it in case someone else has something to say about it.

My Personal Ideas

My take away from all the evidence I've presented has lead to my current idea of events:

Prime and C-137 had a healthy, romantic relationship. However, with C-137's wife and daughter, guilt started to eat away. He tried to talk to Prime about it and Prime's response was "run away with me and travel the multiverse" and C-137 just couldn't bare the thought of abandoning his family, so he broke things off with Prime. Prime was upset, "Rick's dont pass on" the opportunity to travel the infinite cosmos. "Rick's don't pass on" the opportunity to be with someone they love.

I hope you found this post to be comprehensive, and please PLEASE add on stuff in the notes!! We need to gather evidence! /lh

[tasteofgummies]

Living with them #1 [PB]

CW: obsession, manipulative behavior

If you're under 16 please dni

Jonathan Joestar

>Ever since you appeared on his dreams for the first time, he knew you were the one for him

>He's the one who has a hardest time adjusting to new technologies

>And don't get me started on meme culture, he'll never get it

>Please don't leave him alone if you have your card information saved, he'll forget it's not his Joestar money anymore and spend your money on trinkets

>He does his absolute best to help you out around the house, even if he's bad at it

>He's sad when he doesn't do a good job, even when you aren't mean about it

>"Oh, I need to sweep the floors" you said, something so innocent, yet he felt so sad:(( he already did that, can't you tell?

>He won't tell you, he'll just sulk around

>When you were just visions, Dio used to bully him about his crush on you

>"Huh, so you really think someone like them would pick you? Don't make me laugh Jojo, you're an idiot" —Said Dio, who also was developing a crush on you

>Thrives off your attention, whether is a brief smile, or a full on conversation, he's thinking about it all day long

>Feels so giddy when you "protect" him and tell Dio he's being too mean to him, finally! Someone who believes him over his brother! Not even his father does that

>But you're different, you truly appreciate him

>He can feel a little homesick, but then thinks it's only a matter of time before he's back, so it's fine

>Wait, it's not fine, that means it's only a matter of time before he has to leave you...

>Let's not think about that!

>Has a good relationship with your cat

>Since they don't have documentation to prove they exist in this, they can't get "real" jobs

>But he offers his clothes and jewelry to you as a mean of payment, you got enough money to buy groceries for a couple months plus two mattresses for them

>He wishes he could sleep next to you, but he would never say it

>So scandalous! You're not even betrothed to one another and he's having these thoughts...

>As a whole, he's a good roomie, doesn't overstep any boundaries, helps around, and doesn't break or steal anything, 8/10

Dio Brando

>When you appeared in visions, he believed you a deity, a saint, a powerful mage, even a demon, reaching out to him

>Definitely not a single [age]-something having a 9 to 5 job and a cat

>Unlike Jonathan, who's oblivious, he knows he wants you

>He can't figure out his feeling quite yet, but he knows you have something he wants for himself, and he can't allow that Joestar to just go and take it from his hands

>He's honestly so dangerous even outside his turf

>Let's all remember that before the stone mask and before The World, what always made Dio powerful was how charming he was

>He watches Phantom Blood behind your back to know exactly what kind of image you would have of him based on the contents

>He was not pleased

>Now he knows you won't be as easily manipulated

>He performs flawlessly around the house, but never asks for your praise

>He wants it, but he wants to appear as the most "down to earth" option, contrary to Jonathan's carelessness

>He's intending to have a "villain redemption arc" and a "roommates to lovers" situation happen, as they call it (yes, he has been researching common romance tropes, not because he likes you, it's just it's easier to have you under control if you're in love with him, that's all -liar-)

>Won't get a job, just no

>Isn't a natural at the new technologies, but it's notably better than Jonathan

>Won't pull a Danny on your cat, but he doesn't love them, they're in a constant silent war

>He was the one who saw you first, that got to feel your presence first, is only fair you would pay attention to him instead of his buffoon of a "brother"

>He will manipulate you by making you think he's slowly warming up to you, acting cold and crass at first, only to then surprise you with small acts of tenderness

>Since he knows he's defeated in his universe, he doesn't want to go back until he has learned a couple things

>Is still deciding whether or not he'll use you to increase his power and leave you, or take you with him to his world, as a living trophy

>in roomie material, a solid 7/10, as a yandere, I wish you luck

[cat3ch1sm]

🕸️~ yes yes ive been gone again and ignoring you guys blah blah blah im very sorry 😭😭😭 but i return momentarily to drop this fic based off another one of the lovely star’s atsv headcanons. here it is below:

🕸️~ go check out their tiktok acc!! she’s a lovely and talented writer and awesome person and i was so excited to publish this one :)) it is super long tho so just be aware loll 😭😭 there isn’t nearly enough Margo writing for my liking tbh n idc if she was only on screen for three minutes

enjoy!! also yes yes i do intend to get to all of your requests for a Christmas present.

𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐫-𝐛𝐲𝐭𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭

It had been a short time since Miles’ escape from the Spider-Society, and things were in shambles. There had been countless objects, rooms, and technology destroyed during the massive chase, many of which would definitely take weeks, maybe months, to repair. There were constantly maintenance robots and machines, that had previously hardly ever made appearances, zipping around the headquarters doing their best to clean up the residue of the chaos.

However, it wasn’t just the building itself that was in disorder- dozens and dozens of Spider-People had resigned after the chase. Most left because they didn’t agree with Miguel’s way of dealing with Miles. Others had disagreements with other Spider-People, on both sides: those who chased Miles and those who didn’t. Many left simply because they didn’t want to deal with the chaos and how quickly the Society had been devolving since the event. Nothing was organized or stable; tensions were high. There was a painfully obvious shift in the atmosphere; something was brewing beneath the surface.

But even amidst the mayhem, Spider-Byte had remained calm. She had been one of the few at the Spider-Society who hadn’t participated in the chase, and she certainly didn’t regret it. Some had even praised her for her lack of involvement. She didn’t lose any relationships, and her technology, by far the most adept and efficient technology used in the Spider-Society, was still intact and operating. She was essentially in the eye of the hurricane, havoc raging around her, but she remained at peace.

So Margo was surprised when, as she was sitting in her workplace at headquarters updating a computer of hers, her watch went off. Startling her from her reverie, she sat up, seeing that it was a call from… Miguel?

Her eyes narrowed a little. That was unusual. Besides Jess Drew, the head of the Spider-Society rarely ever called anybody personally, and least of all any of the teenage Spider-People. Miguel was rather strict about maintaining professionalism, so he usually had LYLA appear as a hologram to whoever he wanted to contact with his message. But no, it was his contact on the small screen of the watch.

Margo, still frowning a little, picked up the call.

“Hello-“

“Spider-Byte. I want you in my office. Now.” And Miguel’s tiny hologram vanished.

“What-“ Margo was both stunned and slightly peeved. She hadn’t even gotten out a greeting. But she knew better than to go against Miguel’s orders. The man had always been intimidating and uptight, and very work-oriented, but these past few days he seemed more distant than ever. He was scarcely seen around headquarters anymore, as he spent much of his time searching for Miles, and on the rare occasions he did make an appearance, he was downright unapproachable- his face contorted into a deeper frown than ever and his eyes were lined with dark circles and bags. Some days it felt like he wasn’t all there.

Margo glanced over at the computer she’d been working on and stood up from her chair. Gradually her slight annoyance at being interrupted so rudely during her work began to dissipate; presently she began to feel a little apprehensive as her luminescent blue avatar maneuvered itself smoothly through the halls. Miguel had not sounded at all pleased on the call, which was rare- although Miguel was not exactly amicable most of the time anyway, she was one of the few people he would be patient with because she was such an asset to the Society.

She phased through walls and skillfully avoided obstacles, digitally extending the limbs of her avatar and swinging from the ceilings as she made her way to Miguel’s office, moving quickly. It wasn’t long before Margo brought herself to the ground in the dimly lit area where Miguel stayed- sure enough, there he was, on the platform above her standing in front of his arsenal of screens.

He didn’t say anything as the platform that was his workspace slowly lowered itself down to the ground, and Margo stood there and waited awkwardly for it to come down- this always took a painfully long time. As Miguel got closer, though, Margo could see Lyla’s small yellow hologram beside Miguel, hovering just above his shoulder with an uncharacteristically uneasy look on her face. Margo glanced at her, brow furrowing, but neither said anything.

Now Miguel finally reached the ground. He turned around to face the girl with a dark expression, and she didn’t even have time to feel alarmed before he started in on her. “Did you let Miles get away?”

The question sent a jolt through Margo’s body, and she immediately went on the defensive. “‘Did I let Miles get away?’ How would I even have done that? I wasn’t even involved in that whole chase,” she protested.

“And why is that, I wonder?” Miguel countered demandingly, taking a single step forward but prompting Margo to take several steps back. “Did I not tell all of the Spider-People to go after him?” His voice was a low, menacing tone, and his body looked stiff and tense, as if he was trying to contain himself.

Margo momentarily found herself at a loss, and she scrambled to come up with some sort of explanation. “I was already taking care of something else,” she countered. “You know how my Go-Home machine been… acting up lately.”

“Really?” It didn’t sound as much like a question than it did an accusation. “The same Go-Home machine that conveniently worked when Miles escaped from this dimension?!” With every word his volume increased and so did his anger, and Margo noticeably winced. But still she had to defend herself somehow.

“The machine activated itself. I- I don’t know what happened,” Margo retorted, throwing her arms in the air.

“I can vouch for that one,” Lyla interjected, disappearing from Miguel’s shoulder and reappearing in between Margo and Miguel, like she was trying to break up a fight. “She wasn’t the one that did that. The machine was pressing its own buttons and going all crazy. We both tried to stop it, but it’s obviously very difficult to stop that thing when it gets going.” Lyla didn’t sound too happy, and Margo didn’t know whether it was because of her or Miguel.

Miguel cast his eyes at Lyla in such a beseeching manner that she glitched over back to his side and said nothing else, her expression tight and tense with displeasure. He directed his glare back at Margo, who met it with almost equal intensity and defiance. Despite this, his tone was slightly calmer when he spoke again, but still anger bubbled beneath the surface.

“Alright. You insist on playing that card? Fine.” Miguel turned around, then again, a huffy sigh that was more of a groan leaving him as he paced, a clear indication of his agitation. “Do you remember, Margo, something that happened a few weeks ago?” Margo tilted her head in mild confusion and frowned, prompting Miguel to explain further. “Peter. Peter B., the numbskull who runs around with a pink bathrobe and a baby. He brought her to headquarters like he usually does. I don’t know how, but somehow it happened that Mayday got away from him. And one way or another, she wound up in that Go-Home machine.”

Margo’s expression became a little less puzzled and she nodded as she remembered the incident, but still she wasn’t sure what he was getting at. Nonetheless, she said nothing and let him continue.

“Yeah. Peter was an idiot to give her a web-shooter.” Miguel’s tone was scornful. “Before he could make it to Mayday, the machine started activating after scanning her DNA and determining what dimension to send her back to. It was more than halfway through the process, and the machine was moments away from throwing the baby full force into her home dimension, but you realized what was going on. Luckily, you raced over and were able to stop the machine right before it sent her away.” Miguel’s voice grew slightly lower, and again he advanced towards Margo. “Peter ran over, got the kid, and thanked you I don’t know how many times. That was when you explained to him that there was one function of the machine that could stop it quickly no matter what stage of the process it was in. You showed it to him and said to keep it in mind if anything like this happened again.”

This time, Margo didn’t even notice how close Miguel had gotten, his looming height towering over her. Her eyes were lowered to the ground, her expression gone flat. She knew exactly what Miguel was getting at now.

“That machine was just fine.”

The tension in the room was so thick one could have cut it with a knife. You could hear a pin drop in the icy silence.

Miguel continued on, his tone dry. “And I saw you. You probably didn’t think I did, since I was obviously occupied with the anomaly. But the good thing about being a Spider-Person is that your senses are enhanced. You’re aware of more than one thing at once. And I saw him look at you. I saw you meet his eyes.”

Margo had nothing to say. Her heart had dropped to the pit of her stomach. She felt her breath escape her the more he went on. She pressed her lips together and averted her eyes.

“I know you could have stopped him. But you didn’t.”

Margo was unmoving. Every muscle in her body was tense. She was found out. And she didn’t know yet what the consequences of that would be, but she figured she wouldn’t take them without a fight.

Her expression hardened, and she abruptly looked up. And honestly, it took a lot for her not to automatically look back down; Miguel’s countenance was so formidable. But she pressed on, and without thinking as much as she probably should have, Margo retorted:

“And what would you have done if I hadn’t let him go?!” Her own tone startled her, she was usually laidback and really didn’t argue with people; but that by no means meant that she couldn’t stand up for herself or her beliefs. Her eyes were wide with passion and frustration as she met Miguel’s glare.

“I would have contained the anomaly!” Miguel snapped. His tone wasn’t calm anymore.

“You would have hurt him,” Margo shot back.

“I gave Miles every last opportunity to come with me peacefully. I gave him the courtesy of carefully explaining to him what was going to happen to his father and why. Did anyone else get that privilege? Did you get that privilege?”

That last question abruptly sent a sharp pain through Margo’s chest somehow, despite her virtual form. Miguel noticed her grimace, and instantly jumped on it.

“No. No, you didn’t. Everybody else had to sit there and let that happen. That kid should be thankful. And yet he still decided to make things hard for himself. I had no choice.”

Somehow, Margo felt like she was pleading more than arguing at this point. “He was bleeding when he looked at me!”

Miguel’s face was eerily cold when she said that; not a hint of remorse could be seen on his face. “There are consequences to disobedience. Just like there are consequences to defying the canon.”

“That- that doesn’t even have anything to do with it!” She could feel her composure slipping away. “That’s exactly why I couldn’t let him go. If the canon is really so final, he’ll find that out for himself. He’ll either lose his dad or his whole dimension. Does that make you happy now?”

Miguel threw his arms in the air in exasperation and annoyance. “Fine. You let him go. That was the right thing to do according to you? Because you’re so worried about what I would do to him?” Something in his tone was terribly condescending. “Now he’ll go and save his dad, like he wanted to. That’s great, right? That’s what you want? Now a whole dimension is going to pay for his actions. Which is the opposite of what this entire Society was even formed for.” He turned around and leaned over onto his desk, dropping his head into his hands in frustration.

Margo looked at Miguel’s slumped form with stone defiance. “I couldn’t let you hurt him. I’m sorry.”

Miguel had stood back up. His face was less angry. But he looked cold and remote as he stared down at the girl. There was a long, uncomfortable silence.

Finally Miguel spoke again. His tone was more controlled, and he wasn’t yelling like he was before. He let out a sigh. “Give me your watch.”

Margo started. “What?”

Miguel didn’t repeat himself. He simply held out his hand.

Margo’s eyes widened, and she felt her heart start beating a mile a minute. “My- my watch-? But- what-“

Miguel held up a hand to stop her, blowing air from his lips in an exasperated sigh. “Relax. I’m- I’m not kicking you out. You’re too much of an asset.” His expression hardened. “And you’re lucky I’m not. It is in no way your place to argue with me the way you just did, especially about that.”

Margo dropped her head to allow herself a brief eye roll.

“But you are on probation. I’m locking your watch for a week.”

Margo knew she should probably be grateful that that was the only consequence she was getting, but nevertheless a bitter taste came into her mouth, and she frowned. “Locking?”

“You won’t be able to travel between dimensions or contact anybody from the Spider-Society besides me. Additionally, when your watch is locked, you’ll start glitching again.”

“Go home,” Miguel continued in a stern tone of voice. “When your probation is up, I’ll have Lyla unlock your watch for you.” Again he extended his hand, and not having any more energy to protest, Margo took the watch off her wrist with a ferocity she hadn’t intended, and placed it in Miguel’s open hand.

Miguel took the watch. “Lyla. You know what to do.”

Lyla, who had vanished during Margo and Miguel’s argument, reappeared in a flash of yellow at Miguel’s side. “Working on it… alright. The watch is locked.” She cast an apologetic look at Margo, but Margo averted her eyes.

Miguel loosely tossed the watch back to her, and Margo took it and slowly put it back on her wrist. Miguel gave her one last long, unreadable look, and turned around with another heavy sigh. He said nothing else, and Margo left feeling somewhat heavy.

She had just made it back to her work area when the glitching started. That was something she hadn’t dealt with in a while- she’d forgotten what the consequences of being in another dimension without the watch were, especially in her virtual form. As a result, the pain was fresher than ever, and when she fell to the ground she just stayed there for a moment, even after the glitching stopped.

“You always want to start some sort of argument with me!”

“Because you don’t listen…”

Margo rolled over in her bed and pulled the pillow down even more tightly over her ears. Without the watch’s functions she could no longer escape the constant, incessant fighting of her parents. God, she wished they’d just get a divorce already.

Home, sweet home.

It had been several hours since Miguel had made Margo go home, and she already knew this week would feel more like a century. Her head was already pounding because of the shouting of her mother and father. She had tried to play video games for a little while, but she quickly became bored, and then she’d tried to just go to sleep and look where that ended up.

Despite all this, Margo didn’t regret what she had done for Miles. Maybe she should have, because she did respect Miguel and she knew she had a duty to the Spider-Society. But all of that had vanished the second he made eye contact with her- his shiny eyes wide with desperation; he said nothing but she could hear him pleading. And the way Miguel had been almost animalistic when he was tearing at the containment field blocking him from Miles, eyes bloodshot and fangs bared. Even from the distance she was at, Margo could see the bruises on Miles’ skin, the blood running down, and the jagged tears in his suit undoubtedly made by Miguel’s talons. She knew she had done the right thing by letting him escape. It chilled her to think what would have happened if she hadn’t.

Margo must have fallen asleep at some point eventually because when she awoke, it was dark outside and she could no longer hear her parents screaming. She blinked back sleep and groggily surveyed her surroundings- her monitor was still running, her game idle, the low hum of all the devices and gadgets in the room droning on, and-

“Lyla!”

Margo sat up with a start, jolting with surprise. Before her, hovering at the foot of her bed, was Lyla’s little yellow hologram.

Lyla glanced up at Margo nonchalantly, like this was just something she did every day. She teleported in front of Margo’s face, and the girl backed away slightly. “Hey.”

Margo was half-asleep and still totally confused. “Lyla? But- what you- does Miguel know you-“

Lyla waved Margo off, blowing a strand of pixelated hair from her face. “Let me see your watch.”

Margo frowned. “Why? It’s useless.”

“Just give it to me.”

Blinking, Margo slipped the watch from her wrist and placed it before Lyla. She didn’t exactly know what Lyla was doing as the AI murmured to herself, teleporting several different times around the watch, but suddenly the formerly darkened device had lit up again, a chime sounding from it as its screen lit up.

Lyla nodded, more to herself than Margo. “Your watch is unlocked.”

“It’s- what?” Margo looked disbelievingly from Lyla to the glowing watch, then back at Lyla. Wordlessly she took it, fiddling with its functions; it was fully restored. Questioningly she glanced up at Lyla, who held up a hand before she could say anything.

“Obviously you can’t just show up at the Society or Miguel will notice you, so I’m not sure how useful this thing will be till your probation is up. But you’ll be able to contact other Spider-People, and travel to other dimensions again without glitching. Clearly you’ve been thinking about that Miles guy, so I guess you’ll be wanting to look for him.”

Margo laughed a little sheepishly. “Yeah. Thanks.”

“Oh, yeah- um. Miguel doesn’t know I came here, so it’d be great if you didn’t tell him I was here.” Lyla gave Margo a slightly mischievous smirk.

Margo nodded, a slow smile spreading across her face. “You got it.”

“Great! See you around.” Lyla gave her a brief wave before vanishing.

Margo stared at the empty space Lyla had left for a moment with the ghost of a smile on her face. After her argument with Miguel and her punishment she hadn’t felt good at all about the whole situation with Miles, but now she was thinking that perhaps she wasn’t as alone as she had thought.

Her smile grew bigger as she sat up and took the watch, slapping it onto her wrist.

There was a job to do.

[mymoodwriting]

6.7k, yandere, sci-fi, inter dimensional travel, time travel, manipulation, drugs, sedatives, restraints, nausea (@starillusion13) (@peanutpinet)

(Prev//First Part)

“Where do we start?”

The problem with following a schematic for a cross dimensional travel device was that it didn’t come with a manual. It appeared to be functioning properly, and looked similar to what they had all seen before, but they had no way of knowing how to actually use it.

“Jungwoo, you take it.” Jaehyun suggested.

“What? Why me?”

“You were the one who originally built this in secret, and actually knew how to use it.”

“That wasn’t me!”

“But maybe the memories are still there.” Doyoung said. “You should at least try.”

“Everything about that is hazy, like a dream.”

Jungwoo picked up the two bracelets they had made. They looked like the transporters they had come across before, but that was as far as their knowledge went. The only information from the schematics they had was how to activate them and connect them to an external device to access the higher functions. Now Jungwoo was just holding a tablet and staring at a bunch of settings and information he could barely understand. Although he had to admit there was a sense of familiarity. He carefully checked the different settings, a faded sense of knowledge tickling the back of his mind.

The more he explored the more things just seemed to click in his head. Even if it was still a blur in his memory, he felt confident with what he had. Of course everyone was still weary. This technology was beyond them, but it was their only way back to you. Jungwoo wore one of the bracelets, making sure it was mapping him out properly, and it gave everyone else confidence. It seemed like they were all set to use the transporters, although there were some other concerns that came to mind. If they traveled across dimensions, they didn’t really know what their landing spot was going to be. Someone could get stuck in something, or worse, another living being.

Strangely enough Jungwoo knew how to take all that into account, and made sure that the settings would keep them safe from such dangers. The only other thing is that they couldn’t go empty handed. Last time they faced their doppelgangers they found them to be very hostile, and if they were going to wind up at their base, then they needed to be prepared for a fight. Everyone grabbed something to use as a weapon, making sure they had everything together before taking the next step. They were all going to go together, so Jungwoo enlarged the size of the other bracelet and everyone grabbed on.

“Alright… here we go…”

Everyone closed their eyes, and even Jungwoo did after he hit the button. They felt a weird tingle, and then there was the urge to vomit. Some just swallowed it back down, but others found something to throw up in. Regardless, they all soon became aware that they were in the lab, but not theirs. Here it was dark, the only source of light coming from the window. It was night time, just as it had been back at their place.

“The Neos aren’t here anymore.” Mark stated.

“Good.” Yuta added. “Makes it easier for us.”

Jungwoo went over to the nearest computer, figuring out a way to turn it on. From there he could see the time and date, but he was more focused on searching the web. He typed your name in and news articles popped up about you with the Neos. There was all this talk about peace, and the end of the rebellion.

“Look at her.” Taeyong scowled. “All happy with those fakes… what did they do to her…”

“We know the transporters work.” Johnny commented. “We should go back before we attract attention. Just cause this place is abandoned doesn’t mean the Neos won’t know we’re here.”

They did what they came for, which was to make sure the transporters worked. In order to figure out their next steps it would be best to do so back home. Together they returned to their dimension, needing a moment to recover from the nausea. This victory was cause for celebration, it was one step closer to bringing you home. Although they’d soon discover it to be short lived.

“Guys… I think we have a problem.”

“Huh?”

Doyoung had gone straight to his laptop once he had recovered. Before they all left to the other dimension he synced up two timers, one on his smartwatch and the other on his laptop. He wanted to see if there was any sort of time difference when it came to traveling dimensions, but his results now were concerning. He explained to the others what he had done.

“So what’s the problem?” Yuta questioned.

“I figured there might be a time difference in seconds or milliseconds when we traveled dimensions, but here it shows a difference in minutes.”

“I still don’t…”

“We’d need to run some more tests but… we were in the other dimension for a few minutes, perhaps the exact amount of time that is shown to be off here.” Doyoung mumbled. “I think… I think we came back to the exact moment we left. As if time never moved forward here.”

“Okay… I’m still tryna wrap my head around that.” Jaehyun said. “But I’m not seeing an issue here.”

“Let’s run more tests first. Then it might be easier to understand.”

The boys trusted each other, so they followed along with what Doyoung asked of them. What they were doing was measuring time. Doyoung synced up two timers again, and had another person note what time it was the second before they jumped. Upon landing back in the Neo world one of them pushed past the sickness and went to the computer, checking the time.

“What the…”

“What’s the time, Haechan?” Doyoung asked.

“Half an hour into the past.”

“What?” Jungwoo got up and went over to the computer. “It’s the same… when we came here last I turned on the computer and saw the time. It’s the same time now as before… like we’ve gone back in time.”

“Johnny, how long have we been here so far?” Taeyong questioned.

“As of now… a little over a minute…”

“Let’s go back. Now.”

They all gathered together and returned to their dimension. They hadn’t had much time to recover from the first jump, so the sickness felt worse, yet that wasn’t the concern right now. Doyoung went over to his laptop and called Johnny over. Although when he compared the timer on his watch to one on his laptop he saw that they were completely off. Then he noticed the actual time laptop, Johnny noticed too.

“We… it’s the same time from the Neo world… we’ve traveled back in time here too.” Johnny looked around. “There. I had a cup of coffee earlier and put the cup down by my computer, it’s not there anymore but back by the coffee pot.”

“My notes.” Haechan stumbled over to his computer, grabbing a notepad. “I wrote somethings down before we left in case we didn’t make it back. When we did return I threw them in the thrash… but they’re back over here now…”

“How did we travel back in time?” Mark questioned. “That doesn’t make any sense…”

“We’re stuck.” Yuta realized. “We must be stuck between those two points in time… no matter how much time passes here or there. So whenever we travel to that dimension we’ll always land at that exact same time, and when we come back here it will also be the same time.”

“This must have been the exact time we left our world the first time, and arrived at the other.” Jungwoo added. “For some reason these transporters aren’t just fixed on the coordinates, but the time as well.”

“Then change it.” Jaehyun said. “So time continues to move forward.”

“I’m not sure I can…”

“What?”

“When the Neo version of me created and used these transporters they were only meant for a one way trip. Not to mention we also came back to our dimension via other means.”

“So we’re stuck…” Doyoung added. “Back to square one…”

“Not necessarily.” Mark stated. “We kinda have all the time in the world now, don’t we?”

“What do you mean?”

“We’re somewhat traveling in time but we aren’t forgetting anything from the future. We can use that to our advantage.”

“I’m still not following.”

“We can go to the Neo world and plot out what happens over the next few days, figure out where y/n is and find the best time to rescue her. Then we come back here and gather whatever we need and go back. We’d be in the past but we’d know the future, we can’t lose.”

“It’s a waste of time.” Taeyong said. 

“Huh?”

“Let’s say we do that. Recon. What if the best time to strike is in three weeks? We have to relive those three weeks. All that time together equals a month in a half. We’ve spent longer just getting the transporter to work.”

“Not to mention the Neo world is completely foreign to us.” Jungwoo added. “We don’t know how to navigate it. The rebellion is also dead, and our faces wouldn’t make it easy to blend in the crowds. The only thing we’d have going for us is the element of surprise, but we wouldn’t even know what we’re doing. We’re completely on our own.”

“You’re also forgetting that’s not our y/n.” Yuta continued. “Those Neos messed with her head. Besides getting her physically back to us, we don’t even know how to put our y/n back into her body.”

Johnny scoffed. “We really don’t know what we’re doing… all this time we’ve been focused on the transporters as if it was the answer, but it’s barely a step in the right direction. We’re still so far away from getting y/n back…”

The morale in the room plummeted so fast. The transporters worked but they weren’t really any closer to getting you back. There were still so many variables to consider, many that were so obvious they hadn’t even thought about them until now.

“Maybe… maybe I can fix this…” Jungwoo mumbled.

“Huh?”

“There has to be a way to make sure we’re not stuck between two fixed points of time.”

“That doesn’t solve the other problems.” Jaehyun reminded. “Actually getting to y/n seems impossible…”

“But we could solve everything all at once.”

“What?”

“This whole mess does prove one thing… these transporters can travel through time. If I can figure out how to input time with the coordinates… we could go back to before y/n was taken from us… and make sure we don’t lose her in the first place.”

“Is that… is that even possible?”

“We’ve already traveled dimensions, and done a bit of time travel, so why not give that a shot.”

“Do you really think you can do it?” Doyoung asked.

“Yeah. As long as I succeed, then no time would really be wasted.”

♥♥♥♥♥

Even if things had fallen apart for the moment, they found a way to put themselves back together. Jungwoo and Doyoung focused on the transporters, trying to unlock its time travel potential. The others needed to focus on something else so they don’t go mad waiting. With the idea of going back in time to save you, they needed to figure out what the best time would be. They had to keep in mind all the things that had happened to you, and when the Neos actually started to mess with their world. All this kept them going, kept hope alive, and a few days later it all came to fruition.

“It moves…”

“What?”

“Look.” Jungwoo showed everyone the tablet. “These are coordinates to the Neo world. They’re meant to be set numbers but look at these at the end, they’re moving on their own now, which they weren’t before.”

“So we can travel dimensions without getting stuck at certain points in time.”

“I believe so, but we still need to test things out.”

The first thing they needed to do was confirm they weren’t stuck anymore. So they all went to the Neo world together, seeing that the time and date were different, matching the present time from their world. When they returned they saw that time had passed, relieved to know they were no longer stuck, but moving forward. Now was the more difficult part of figuring out how to actually travel through time. It would involve running more tests, and of course they’d do this all together. Messing with time in any way was dangerous, and they didn’t want to lose each other along the way.

Jungwoo knew of a way to make the numbers at the end freeze, so they needed to figure out how those numbers correlated with time. It was a lot of data they needed to jot down, and a lot of jumping around within their own world, but eventually they figured out how to measure time. They tested it by seeing if they could jump to specific points in time, and they succeeded in their endeavors. Now they could travel through time, they could actually see you again. Of course now they needed to get back to their other data, figuring out exactly what point of time to return to.

“Alright. So this was the date that other Jungwoo gave y/n the necklace.” Johnny explained. “From there the Neos began messing with her head so we need to go further back from that point.”

“I lost track of time when I received that video message.” Jungwoo commented. “And that was like two weeks before I gave that necklace to y/n.”

“The Neos also admitted to having been watching our world for months before they even tried anything.” Jaehyun stated. “So we have to go back even more.”

“At this rate we seem to be going back a whole year.” Haechan said. “Can we really do that and not mess up our future?”

“Not losing y/n would change our future dramatically.” Yuta reminded. “And that’s the whole point of this. As long as we get her back, we can figure out our future together.”

“What about our past selves?” Mark asked. “We might run into them. Or do we just take their place?”

“We’ve been jumping back into time in little pieces.” Doyoung said. “And we haven’t run into our past selves. So I don’t think that’ll be a problem.”

“There’s only one way to find out.” Taeyong stated. “We know roughly what time to return to. So can anyone remember when we were all in the lab, without y/n or anyone else of course. That way we don’t have to worry about others or our possible past selves.”

It took a little bit, but Haechan remembered a time they had all been gathered in the lab by themselves working on the robot for the competition. He managed to point out an exact date and time to go back to. Everyone was on board, so now it was time for what was hypothetically their last jump. Together they gathered and counted down, traveling far into the past. By now they were used to the feeling, so they didn’t really get sick. They took in the lab around them, seeing how it had changed to an old yet familiar scene. Doyoung checked the time, and they were exactly when they meant to be. There was also no sign of another version of them, so they had taken their own places in the past.

“We did it…” Jungwoo mumbled. “We actually…”

“So how does this even work?” Haechan wondered. “Did we like split the timeline or-”

“I brought snacks!”

Your voice made them all freeze. It felt like everything was moving in slow motion as they turned around to see you entering the lab. A huge smile was on your face, and you looked at them with such joy. You held up bags filled with treats for them, and it felt like such a dream. They all had the same idea though, and ran over to embrace you in a big hug.

“Woah, woah, woah, what’s the occasion? Did you guys make a big breakthrough with the robot or something?”

“Or something.” Johnny said. “We should go out to celebrate.”

“Don’t you have homework?”

“We can do that later.” Taeyong commented. “Let’s go. I feel like we don’t see each other often enough.”

“I come by everyday.”

“Still not enough. Let’s go spend the evening together.”

“Alright. Sounds like fun.”

The rest of the day was spent getting food together, and drinks, and some karaoke, doing all kinds of things to make up for lost time. It was one of the best nights of your life. The whole night was nostalgic, reminding you of the days of your youth, and how you all spent it together. You also realized how much you had been missing them and how grateful you were to still have them in your life. Come early morning you were exhausted, and none of them could get you back to your dorm since it was strictly forbidden for boys to enter. So they wound up letting you crash in their lab, up on the little balcony they had.

“We have to protect her.” Yuta said. “The Neos could still make a move in the future. We can’t take her for granted, but she can’t be in the lab too often.”

“What if Jungwoo gets possessed again?” Jaehyun asked. “What then?”

“It was cause of that video.” Jungwoo explained. “So I’ll avoid any weird emails this time around. We all should.”

“Doesn’t mean one of us won’t get tricked.” Mark added. “We need to figure out a way to make sure we’re actually us.”

“Perhaps if we can record our brain waves.” Doyoung suggested. “Surely they’d be different if someone else was in our body.”

“We’ll work on that.” Taeyong said. “Along with readjusting to this time and getting our assignments done.”

“Ugh.” Haechan whined. “We have to build that robot again.”

“At least we know how to make it work.” Johnny reminded. “So it’ll be easy to redo. Let’s build it better this time.”

“That’s a great idea!”

It was difficult to adjust to the past. They knew they were reliving these days again, which meant repeating things, and it was frustrating. Still, the days were the same and different. They all gave you more attention, never allowing you to be alone when in the lab, and never putting you off to the side. You were right there with them as they built their robot, and designed this brain scanner. They couldn’t really explain it, but just said it was a fun side project. You were more than happy to help where you could, picking up a few things in the lab and being able to work alongside them like a proper team member.

Even if it was great to have you around, they all knew it wasn’t a good idea to have you in the lab for too long. For the most part they’d pair off and entertain you in other ways, taking you out and engaging with your major as well. A part of themselves also hated how they neglected you before, missing out on all these things with you. Although once they had their device built, and had a record of their brain waves, and yours as well, it put them at ease with having you in the lab. It was a place for their science, but they had a special place for you if you ever wanted to paint.

“Oh, let me do it!”

You eagerly took the device from Johnny, walking up to Mark and Haechan. It looked like something to check your temperature with, but as the boys had told you, it was for scanning brain waves. This was part of some on going person project they had, and it was important to check everyone’s brain waves every day. Haechan smiled brightly and leaned forward. After a moment the device chimed and showed a green light. The same result for Mark.

“Have you been scanned today?” Haechan teased. “Or can I do it for you?”

“Hm… I don’t remember.”

“Then allow me.”

Haechan took the device from you and checked your brain waves, as expected they were normal. He playfully pet your head.

“Excellent.”

“You guys are collecting a lot of data for this project.”

“The more the better. Thank you for all your help.”

“No problem.”

You felt more welcomed in the lab, so you spent more time there than before. It was a safe and relaxing space. One day as you were working on a research paper on your laptop you got a message from one of the boys. It was a simple message that asked for your favorite color. You figured it was for a surprise, so you answered without asking why. They thanked you and told you to come by the lab later that night for a present. You looked around the room, trying to hide your smile and excitement.

At night, once everyone was gone, you returned to the lab. You turned on the lights and looked around, wondering if anyone was there. They couldn’t really hide, so you figured you were alone, and then you saw it. There was a present on the table, wrapped up in your favorite color. You picked it up and shaked it gently, removing the top. There was a note you grabbed, and then you saw two bracelets in the box. You thought they were cute and decided to read the note first.

“We made these special for you. As long as you wear them you’ll be safe and we’ll always be able to find you.”

The note made you smile, and you grabbed the bracelets. You slipped them onto your wrists, admiring them for a moment. They were cute, but then they suddenly gripped you tightly. It startled you, and you tried to get them off, but you couldn’t get your finger under them. The more you tried to get it off the tighter it got. You screamed, and then started to feel a tingling sensation. This wasn’t good, and you had to do something. You pushed the pain to the side and tried to focus. You needed help, and you weren’t gonna get it here.

You tried to leave the lab, but as you reached for the doorknob your hands started to shake. You couldn’t even get a good grip on the door, and when you tried to get your phone it fell out of your hands. You were practically trapped in this room, and it was so late that screaming probably wouldn’t help you either. You needed to come up with another plan, and as you paced around the room you started to get this dizzy feeling. If this was some kind of prank, or experiment, it wasn’t funny. You went over to the table and looked at the note, but you didn’t see anything that could help you.

Something was very wrong here, and you felt like you were running out of time. Then it hit you, the fire alarm. That would be the fastest way to get attention. You made your way over to it, managing to pull the switch only for nothing to happen. The panic was starting to settle in, and you could barely think straight. Then you remembered the lab had its own alarm, something that would notify the guys directly. You had to search your brain for a moment before remembering the button was located under Taeyong’s desk. You managed to get to it before collapsing, your legs giving out.

You felt your world spinning, and you could barely keep your eyes open. You didn’t know how much time passed, but you vaguely heard the sounds of a door opening. Someone called your name, but you weren’t able to answer. Although you soon felt someone grabbing you and pulling you into their embrace. It took a moment to realize who was holding you, but you managed a smile when you saw Johnny’s face. He seemed concerned, but you were just happy that you weren’t alone anymore.

“It’s okay, everything’s going to be okay. Just relax.”

“Johnny… I’m scared…”

“Sh, don’t worry.”

“What happened!” Jungwoo and Yuta came into the room, rushing over to your side. “What’s going on?”

“I don’t know, but she seems okay.” Johnny explained.

“The bracelets.” Yuta realized, trying to take them off. “Fuck. They won’t budge.”

“A certain charge should be able to fry them and not hurt her.” Jungwoo said. “Give me a second.”

“Hurry!”

Jungwoo went over to his desk, looking around for a battery and some wires. As he found what he was looking for Johnny was suddenly in his face, taking the items from his hands and throwing them across the room.

“Johnny what are you-”

“You’re not gonna interfere.”

“What are you…” Jungwoo’s eyes went wide. “You’re not Johnny.”

“Huh?”

“Ya!”

Yuta suddenly jumped on Johnny, wrapping an arm around his throat and trying to choke him. The two struggled, but Yuta was determined to hold on.

“Jungwoo! The bracelets!”

“Right!”

Jungwoo rushed over to find the items he had gathered before, quickly returning to your side. He could tell you were out of it but his priority was getting the bracelets off. 

“Stay with me, y/n. Stay awake.”

The door suddenly opened and a few others came in. They had many questions about the sight before them but Jungwoo and Yuta quickly got their attention on something else.

“That’s not Johnny!”

Everyone else put their focus on taking down their former friend, while Jungwoo kept his focus on you. He managed to overcharge the bracelets and get them off you, gently massaging your wrists. The others managed to take down Johnny and tie him up, gagging him in the process as well. Jaehyun had gone over to you, pulling you into his arms. You were barely conscious, but you were okay nonetheless.

“How could this happen?” Doyoung wondered. “We did everything right…”

“Let’s double check that.”

Mark grabbed the scanner and went over to Johnny. The device made an error noise and lit up red. This was their confirmation that the Johnny before them wasn’t the one they knew.

“The question is what happened to Johnny.” Yuta said. “We all knew to be careful.”

“But why?” Jaehyun asked. “Why are they still coming after her?”

“There’s only one way to find out.”

Taeyong let out a yell of frustration then went over to Johnny. He stared at the boy, seeing a stranger in those eyes. He so badly wanted to hit him, but he knew that wouldn’t solve the problem. The stranger watched him curiously.

“Alright. Let’s just cut to the chase.” Taeyong sighed. “I’m sure you must have questions, but I’ll make this simple. We know who you are, and about your world. All the tech advancements you have, and that you were trying to take y/n away from us, but that’s not gonna happen. Now tell me why are you even trying!”

Taeyong held himself back again and removed the gag on Johnny. The boy took a deep breath and looked around the room, his eyes landing on you.

“She’s pretty.” Johnny chuckled. “You were the first world we found, and it seemed like it would be easy to take her. We almost succeeded after all, yet you were strangely prepared for us. I’m curious about that myself.”

“Get out of Johnny’s body.” Taeyong ordered. “I want to speak to your Taeyong. I know none of you will come here, but your technology is advanced enough to communicate without body snatching!”

“True. This was fun while it lasted. Even if it was only for a few hours.”

Johnny took a deep breath and closed his eyes. Then it seemed like he fell asleep. After a moment Taeyong grabbed the scanner, and this time it lit up green. Just to be safe they also had a record of their brain waves when unconscious, so they could be certain their Johnny would be the one to wake up. Doyoung and Jungwoo untied their friend, and now it was a matter of waiting. It wasn’t long before every screen in the room came to life. At first there was static, and then a familiar face appeared on every screen.

“I’ve underestimated you. Then again, that’s not the case is it? We’ve met before, haven’t we?”

“Yes. And we won’t let you have your way.”

“Not again I presume.” Taeyong chuckled. “Do me a favor and amuse me, how have we crossed paths before? I don’t think I’d easily forget such a face, unless… you’ve traveled through time, haven’t you?”

“Yes.”

“Very impressive. Although you aren’t advanced enough, so explain.”

“It’s simple. We used your tech. I guess you don’t even know what you’re capable of.”

“Oh you mean the transporters. Yes. The coordinates can lock in on time as well, we just don’t use that feature.”

“If you’ve been capable of time travel yourselves how come you’ve never used it? You could be with your own y/n instead of becoming enemies and losing her.”

“You speak of time travel as if it’s so easy. In case you forgot I am on top in this world. Why would I change the past? Besides, if anyone knew what our technology could do then the peace we’ve built would crumble.”

“No one has to know.”

“What are you talking about?” Doyoung questioned.

“I agree.” Taeyong got serious. “Care to share your thoughts?”

“We mimicked your technology in order to get y/n back, and used it to travel through time. The transporters we built are made with our own technology, therefore they belong to our world, not yours. There would be no trace for you to find of any of your tech bending the rules of time and space. Therefore neither Taemin or Boa would know what you’re up to.”

“And you really think this is that easy?”

“Either I help you with this so you can leave our y/n alone, or you can go bother another dimension.” Taeyong spat. “And even then, things can end just like this again. It’s your choice.”

Things were quiet, but you were starting to get some clarity back. You weren’t entirely sure what was going on, but seeing Taeyong on all the screens, and Taeyong also standing to the side, you were very confused.

“What’s…”

“Don’t worry about it.” Haechan cooed. “Everything’s gonna be ok.”

“Let’s talk.” Taeyong said. “Face to face.”

“No way!” Jungwoo yelled. “That’s a trap!”

“Not gonna happen!” Yuta added.

“Taeyong, you can’t-”

“I’ll take up your offer.” Taeyong’s double cut in. 

“Really? How come?”

“You made good points. Along with using your own technology and all the other variables it’s the best solution, and I lose nothing either way.”

“Fine then. I’ll meet you.”

Taeyong grabbed the bracelets that had been gifted to you, putting them on. The others were quickly on him, trying to stop him. They didn’t like this idea, nor did they understand what Taeyong was doing, but he asked them all to trust him.

“What if something happens?” Jaehyun questioned.

“I’ll be fine.”

“But-”

“You’ll be fine too.”

“Taeyong…” You mumbled. “What’s going on…”

“I won’t be gone long.” Taeyong pet your head. “Don’t worry.”

Despite the protests, everyone put their trust in Taeyong. He reconnected the bracelets that had been sent as a gift to you, and took the ones he and his team had created. It was dangerous to go alone, but it was easier if he only had to worry about himself. He double checked the coordinates before closing his eyes and hitting the activation button. There was that uneasy feeling in his stomach, but nothing he wasn’t used to. When he opened his eyes he saw that he was in the lab, but not the one of his world. The Neos all gave him shady looks, none of them really happy to see him, especially Johnny.

“Don’t mind them.” Taeyong said. “This is between us right now. Let’s talk outside.”

Taeyong led his doppelganger outside. The sun was setting so there was still some light in the sky. It was quite beautiful.

“We can skip the formalities.”  Taeyong stated. “Neither of our people are happy with us, but we’re seeing the bigger picture here. So, what’s the plan?”

“Simple. We change the past.”

“And how exactly are we going to do that?”

“We go back to the key moment, where things changed, the science fair.”

“The science fair? You want to go that far back?”

“It’s the only place to go. Any other point can’t be guaranteed to make a difference.” 

“Alright. Let’s see what you got.”

Of course this wasn’t going to be easy. Taeyong had returned the bracelets that weren’t from his world, and used his own. Of course he needed his doppelganger to enter the coordinates and time, as things were different in this world. Taeyong made a note of the time as well, knowing things had to work out in order to keep you safe. He did have a plan, but he still needed to execute it to make sure it worked out, or that it could work. Once everything was set the two made the jump. It was kind of surprising to both of them how the other didn’t get sick, but it was a testament to how often they had been using such technology.

The two maintained a low profile and made it to the science fair. It was quite surreal to be in such a place. Their memory only contained pieces of it, and for Taeyong some things were different. After a bit of looking around they spotted your table, seeing your little mushroom project, and right next to you were familiar faces. It was odd for Taeyong to see a younger version of himself and his brothers while also knowing that’s not actually him. More so knowing that the young version of you wasn’t the one he had back home. There was a strange feeling in his chest. The little girl with the mushrooms would grow up to be a revolutionary, fight against those right next to her, and die by the hands of her allies. He saw to change all that, but he wasn’t really grasping how much of this world, of her fate, he’d change.

“So what’s your plan here?” The doppelganger asked. “How do we change the future without messing up?”

“It’s simple, we play matchmaker.”

Taeyong managed to find a pen and paper, writing something down. He asked a girl nearby if she could pass a note along to you. Then he did the same and had a note sent over to Taeyong and the rest of his group.

“Is that seriously gonna work?” Taeyong asked. “What did you even write down?”

“Y/n always had feelings for us, even though we were too blind to notice. It’s probably the same here, so if she believes you’re interested in her perhaps that’s all the courage she needs to be more than friends with you.”

“And the note you sent to my younger self?”

“Wouldn’t you want to show off and engage with a girl who’s crushing on you?”

“Manipulation? I didn’t think you’d play in my field.”

“It’s not manipulation. I’m just letting both sides know there are mutual feelings.”

“I guess you can spin it however you like.”

The two kept their distance and watched the two tables. When things got quiet you started asking the Neos about their project, and how they had come up with it. They offered you a chance to try it, and you wound up talking about your own project. The mushrooms had their own way of creating connections and communicating. As living beings it was an organic connection whereas their technology could do the same, making it an artificial connection. It was in its infancy but already showing so much potential in what they could do. The conversation shifted to comparing notes from both projects.

“Huh… we never talked like that before…” Taeyong commented. “Guess things are already changing.”

“Your projects have a lot more in common than you originally thought.”

“It seems so.”

Eventually the judges went around to see all the projects presented. The two already knew the outcome, nothing could really change that. After the announcement of the winner the boys were swarmed by people, and happily engaging with them about future opportunities. They could see how you were pushed away, and how you stepped back too. Without realizing Taeyong took a step forward, but was held back.

“We can’t interfere.”

“…”

Taeyong could tell his counterpart was tense, but it wasn’t a good idea to mess with things directly. After the big commotion people were cleaning up and putting things away. You were about to be on your way when the younger version of Taeyong approached you, holding out his phone and asking for your number. He promised to call you, wanting to talk more about your research and his own.

“If things work out, your memories should slowly change.” Taeyong said. “Any difference?”

“There’s only one way to find out. We go home.”

With their mission seeming to be a success the two returned to the present time, and remained outside the Neo lab. Taeyong stared at the lab, able to see movement but unsure if you were in there.

“I hope we don’t cross paths again.” Taeyong mentioned. “Cause I won’t be so nice.”

“Nice?” The doppelganger chuckled. “What you’ve done is far from nice, but I’ll let you go. Take care of y/n, you wouldn’t want to lose her again.”

“I was about to say the same thing to you.”

♥♥♥♥♥

Taeyong had made a note of when he had originally left his world, and made sure to return moments after he had disappeared. He didn’t need the others worrying about him for too long. So for them it felt instantaneous.

“Taeyong!”

Everyone was glad to see him, but more than anything he was happy to see you. When he returned you got up to hug him tight, sniffling a bit. Taeyong wrapped his arms around you, gently rocking you and trying to calm you.

“It’s okay, everything’s going to be okay now.”

“I don’t know what happened… but please don’t leave again…”

“I won’t, I promise. This was all just a bad dream, okay? Everyone’s okay, so you don’t have to worry.”

Since you were so out of it from everything that had happened, it was kind of easy to push the narrative that it was all a dream. Jaehyun got you a drink and slipped a sedative into it, letting you get some sleep. They double checked to make sure you didn’t have any other tech on you. Hopefully the wouldn’t cross paths with their doppelgangers again, but for now they still had to remain alert. They had you sleeping in the lab again, Yuta by your side, gently holding your hand.

“Did you do it?” Jungwoo asked.

“Huh?”

“You threw Sticker under the bus to protect y/n, you realize that right?”

“They wanted our y/n, and the only way to stop them was to give them what they wanted. It was just a matter of fixing their mistake.”

“But you didn’t just change something from their past, or one singular life.” Johnny added. “The history of their world has changed because-”

“That doesn’t matter to us. If changing that world means our y/n is safe, then I’d do it again. We never should have been involved with another dimension to begin with. We didn’t start this whole mess, so whatever we did to get things back to normal here is worth it. Don’t burden yourselves too much. It was my idea, and I executed it alone.”

“I guess we ended up like them.” Haechan remarked. “Traveling dimensions and messing with other worlds for the sake of the one we love… we are twins after all…”

“Let’s just focus on the present.” Doyoung said. “And our future. Like Taeyong said, we are back to where we are supposed to be, just better.”

“We’ve got y/n back.” Johnny added. “We’ll take care of her.”

“And we’ll do it right this time.”

[e-adlirez]

So I once made a presentation about Thea Stilton for school

Before you ask when I did this, this was in 2023, during my last year of high school :3

So yes, this was very recent, I was very much active on Tumblr at the time, and I was very much aware of what I was doing. We were told to ramble about anything we wanted in any way we wanted (essay, TEDTalk, comic, etc.), and me being me, I knew I had to make a TEDTalk about my eleven-year-long hyperfixation, and I had just the topic for it. I spent a week making multiple drafts before cranking out the final one in time for the deadline of the script and the presentation, and I figured that since I'm still very proud of how the essay turned out, I oughta put it here :3

So this is the script of my talk, Dreams In the Cloud Castle, and spoilers for the aforementioned book, the Cloud Castle. Hope you enjoy :3

I’d like to start this talk by asking a question. Who here knows Thea Stilton, show of hands? (Response based on hands raised.) Alright, so just so everyone knows what I’m talking about, we have this mouse man named Geronimo Stilton, who has a sister named Thea Stilton, who has these students that are the actual protagonists of the Thea Stilton franchise. These students do investigation stuff in the normal world (think the Earth but mouse people), and sometimes they go to some nifty mythology realms to do investigation stuff. Got that? Good, because we’ll be talking about one of those mythological adventures, specifically the book, The Cloud Castle.

There’s a weird scene in the book’s climax where, because of circumstances, Violet, one of the main characters, saves her friend in an act of heroic sacrifice. The cost? Her dreams. The adversary she saves her friend from is this Crystal Eagle, who steals the dreams of those who look him in the eye. Such a fate is permanent, and unfortunately, such a fate has befallen Violet, who now can’t dream anymore.

But what does that mean?

Violet lost her dreams. What does that mean? This is one of those questions where you don’t realize that you don’t know the answer, until you think about it and look into it a little more than what was probably intended. Kinda like how Marvel Cinematic Universe plots start to make less and less sense the more you think about them. In this little talk, I’ll try to extrapolate an answer, and why you should care about it. I am taking up about eight minutes of your time, after all. Hopefully the argument I have for you today is a convincing one. These are dreams, what they mean, and why they’re important to us.

To understand the loss of something, one must understand what was lost. In this case, dreams. In this book’s setting, the Land of Clouds, dreams play a surprisingly important role: the fairies of this world use it to make clouds. How do we do that? Well, when a fairy sleeps, and more specifically dreams, they produce this silver thread that accumulates on their nightstand. When the fairy wakes up, they can use it to weave clouds. They make clouds from silver thread, that is made from their dreams, and clouds are what their entire world is made of. It seems like dreams are very important to this world or something.

Now, even though this bit about dreams was about the harmless visions you see at night, isn’t this similar to how we use our goals and aspirations in real life? We dream, that is to say we aspire to a certain goal, and with that goal, we create. We create something that inevitably becomes a part of the world we live in: construction, technology, music, art– all of these, I’d argue, are important to our society, and all of these things come from here. Isn’t that a powerful thing to have?

Now that we’ve talked about dreams, let’s talk about that hypothetical: the idea of losing your dreams, and the ability to dream. What does that mean? Well, think back to what I said earlier. The fairies’ nightly visions and their ability to have them allow them to create. Our goals and our ability to reach for them allow us to create. The fairies’ purpose is to turn their dreams into clouds. Our purpose in life is dependent on what we want to do with our lives, which is directed by our dreams, our goals. Without our dreams, without our goals, without our aspirations… Who are we if not lost?

Actually, let’s explore this thought experiment a little further. Think about this: Why do we do things? Besides the essentials for survival, why do we do things at all? Because someone else told you to do it? Well, why did they tell you to do that? Because someone else told them? Eventually, this will all circle back to a first person who had some sort of motivation, some sort of dream. The Merriam-Webster definition of a dream is “a strongly desired goal or purpose”. Desiring something can already call it a dream. Maybe you want to run for office, or run a successful business, or make art, or make technological advancements for the good of humanity. All of these things are dreams. If we were robbed of our dreams and the ability to have them, what then? If you didn’t have any dreams, what would you create? Would you desire to create at all? You may think “this isn’t worth pondering about at all. I have my dreams, and I don’t have to deal with crystal eagles.” And yeah, you’re right. We don’t have magical birds that appear out of nowhere and steal our dreams; but what do we have? Burnout? Depression? Intrusive thoughts? If these things conquered us so thoroughly, if we stared into the eyes of the eagle for too long, to the degree that we lost sight of our dreams… I ask again, who are we?

When I read the segment that ensued after Violet lost her dreams for the first time, I wondered to myself what was going on in her head. It was a question that I had for the longest time, and I would scan that third act of the book again and again, to get even the tiniest glimpse into what it was like to be dreamless. I would always end up frustrated, because it seemed like Violet was doing nothing besides going along with everyone else in silence. At most, she’d make some pointless comment that contributed nothing to the conversation, let alone the plot. I originally thought that this was an act of negligence on the part of the author, or perhaps the censorship of the English publishers; but then I realized something: Violet was doing nothing. When she walked through the Hall of Mirrors that she previously said she was scared of, all she could say was that her reflections looked pale. When the girls were presented with a pick-the-door riddle, Violet didn’t give a single word of insight. When the girls finally discovered the reason why the fairies can’t make clouds, Violet didn’t react at all. Violet was doing nothing. Throughout the entire third act of the story, Violet was doing nothing. She wasn’t even making a productive conversation. And how could she make anything in that state of mind, where it is impossible to dream, impossible to create, impossible to… do anything?

After this epiphany, I thought about a scenario where she returned to her home below the clouds dreamless. She’s a naturally creative person– would she be able to make art while she was dreamless? Would she be able to write, make music, play music at all? Since dreams in this case denote ambition or motivation, and Violet’s condition is the antithesis of that, would she be able to do anything at all? If we were put in a similar situation that could happen in real life, would we be able to do anything at all? If we were fortunate enough to lose the dream but not the ability to dream, how would we process the situation? How would we deal with it? How would we get through it? Would there come a moment where we can reach for something again? Or would we be stuck like that forever, wandering aimlessly for the rest of our lives?

Thank Queen Nephele’s plot-convenient healing crystal that Violet got better.

[bots-and-cons]

Heya, i got another request that's been stewing in my brain for a while. Do you think i could get a kinda angsty scenario for a techno-organic reader who was experimented on by mech to be turned into a techno-organic, and then after wandering they find a new home (and perhaps family) in the Autobots. Think, same size as human, but with vaguely cybertronian aspects, metallic skin plating, glowing optics, the usual. Additionally, if it gets too much to write an entire scenario for this, headcanons on how the Autobots and perhaps kids would react to the techno-organic reader would also be nice.

I wrote a scenario, but it might be a bit all over the place, because I wanted to fit stuff from the past into it. Usually I would do HCs for a request like this, but I got a good idea, at least in my opinion, so I wanted to see if I could make it make sense. I couldn’t really do all the bots with this, so I just did some of them. This is not very focused on the bots as individuals but more as the team. Also, a bit of a mess, but I’m okay with it

You didn’t know where you were or how you got there. It didn’t feel like a hospital, nor did it look like one from the little you’d managed to see. You were pretty sure of one thing though, you weren’t at the M.E.C.H base anymore.

You didn’t know if you should be relieved or even more scared. Maybe those bastards had sold you to someone even worse, or maybe someone had finally put an end to your misery and gotten you out of there. You really didn’t know.

You were drifting in and out of consciousness, and you didn’t seem to be able to focus your vision on anything in the moments you had your eyes open. You heard talking around you, but you couldn’t really make out what was being said. You did know the distant voices were those of strangers, not of the scientists’ you’d listened to for who knows how long before this.

You knew you were in no condition to get away from whoever it was that had you now. Your body felt foreign, like it wasn’t really your own. You were quite sure you could move, but not nearly fast enough to get away from anyone. So you decided to open your eyes, to at least look around to see what kind of facility you were being held in. You were still a bit out of it, but not drifting in and out of consciousness anymore, you were awake.

As you looked around, you still felt like your eyes couldn’t quite focus. You felt like this is how it must have been to need glasses. When your eyes did finally focus, you saw something big on the right side to you, it was colored orange, white, and a metallic gray in some parts. Maybe this was one of those decepticons you’d heard the M.E.C.H people talking about. From what you’d understood, they were giant robots, and the one standing near you certainly looked like it would qualify.

Ratchet was quite worried about you. You seemed to be a combination of cybertronian technology and human biology. He was starting to get an idea of what those M.E.C.H scientists had done to you and it was horrifying. Even though it seemed you would be fully functional once you recovered, Ratchet wasn’t hopeful for your mental state, with the agony and torture you must have gone through to end up like this.

When Ratchet turned around to check on you, you were just staring at him. You looked oddly at peace, you didn’t seem like you were even in pain.

“How are you feeling?” he asked.

“Are you a decepticon? Are you going to kill me?” you croaked.

“Me? A decepticon? Please, I would never” Ratchet said and rolled his optics.

“What are you then?” you asked, and turned your head away from him, to look at the ceiling.

“I’m an autobot, we come from the same planet as the decepticons but we’re nothing like them. They are our enemies”

“Ah, so I’m not going to die today?” you asked, trying to focus your eyes on the lamp, dangling from the ceiling.

“If it is up to me, then no. You’re not going to die today” Ratchet said.

“Damn, I was kind of hoping for a different answer” you sighed.

“You must be in a lot of pain” Ratchet stated.

“No, I don’t feel anything”

Ratchet wasn’t very surprised by that information. You had been through hell and with all the changes they’d made to your body, he was sure there would be some malfunctions.

“Optimus, you should come see them” he said to someone else you hadn’t noticed before.

An even bigger robot, moved into your field of vision, and just looked at you for a while with his arms crossed across his chest. You got the feeling he was some sort of big shot with these autobots you’d ended up with.

“Are you aware of who we are” the big bot asked.

“Autobots? At least that’s what he said” you coughed and tried to motion toward the orange bot.

“Yes. I am Optimus Prime, leader of the autobots. We do not mean you harm, and you are safe with us. Are you aware of what has happened to you?” Optimus asked.

“I know I’ve been cut open and put together more times than I remember, but I don’t really know what they did to me” you said quietly.

The two robots shared a look. You detected pity and dread in their faces, like they didn’t know how to tell you about your current condition. You weren’t really even sure if you wanted to know. Your body felt so strange and foreign.

>>>>>

Three months ago you woke up in the autobot base. Even though you didn’t know what to think of the bots at first, you’d come to consider them the best thing that had happened to you in a long, long time. 

It had taken a lot of work to get to where you were now. You were able to walk again, even if you did need a cane most of the time, and you couldn’t walk for an extended period of time, you were happy you’d made so much progress.

You weren’t allowed to leave the base. That decision had been made for you by Optimus and Fowler, but you couldn’t really argue with their reasoning. Fowler or someone who worked for him delivered all the necessities and things you asked for, once a week.

You were sitting on the couch, flipping through a manga you’d managed to convince Fowler to get for you.

“This is such a good use for the military budget” you muttered.

“What are you reading?” Arcee asked, as she appeared behind you.

“Some manga, it wasn’t really as good as I expected” you said and turned to face her on the couch.

“You in any pain today?” Bulk joined the conversation.

“Not really. It’s pretty weird that I got my sense of pain back when I got better, even though my sense of taste is still pretty much gone”

“It would’ve been easier if you got your sense of taste back instead of the pain” Arcee said.

“Yeah, but I’m just gonna have to deal with it” you shrugged.

The first month you spent with the autobots, you were terrified that you were going to end up back into M.E.C.H’s hands. Every time the bots clashed with those bastards, you were scared they were coming to take you back, but that never happened. You had grown close with the autobots, and you felt safe with them. Even though you led quite a solitary life, aside from your robotic friends, you were fine with it. Even if your body wasn’t like it used to be, and you were now living a very different life from before, you just felt grateful for being away from those sick scientists and the people that had experimented on you.

You were safe, maybe even content, and definitely glad to be away from M.E.C.H.

[bakedbakermom]

sometimes i am in AWE of the questions kiddo asks. for some reason we were talking about time yesterday (and singing 525600 minutes) and then today she asks me, "how did they measure how long a day was?" so my nerd ass got to explain that they would use the positioning of the the sun and time how long it took to come back around. then she asked how they knew how long a year was, and i said they did the same thing but with the stars, because our view of the sky changes based on where the earth is in its trip around the sun. like if you walked around in a circle, how long until you were facing the same direction again.

and THEN she wanted to know why there are apps she can have on her ipad that i can't have on my (android) phone. and i explained that our devices speak different languages. she was confused because they both display english, and i said computers speak a different kind of language than we do on the inside even though they show the same basic stuff on the outside. she asked what the difference between apple and android language was, and at that point i was out of my depth so i told her to ask her technology teacher next time she was in that class.

last week she asked me why we get less daylight in the winter than the summer. and i got to explain that in addition to spinning and going around the sun, the earth also tilts a little bit back and forth. i used my hand to demonstrate the path of the sunlight, and her fist to represent the earth, and showed her how the tilt changed not just the hours of daylight but also how strong it is, both of which are what make "seasons" happen.

this is the one time i am grateful for my adhd because i had the same questions at various points in my life and read all kinds of weird books and watched nerdy science shows (that just aren't made anymore) until i got my answers.

[violethowler]

Me, My Self, and I: An Analysis of the Operation Kuron Storyline

Back when seasons 3, 4, and 5 released on Netflix, Voltron fans were split into two camps regarding what was going on with Shiro: One camp insisted that we were still seeing the same Shiro as the one we saw in the first two seasons, while the other argued that the current Shiro was a clone programmed with the memories of the original.

On the surface, the show’s 6th season appeared to side with the clone theory fans, and I saw multiple people who had argued for it being the same Shiro lamenting because they felt that all the development Shiro had gotten after the end of Season 2 had been wasted now that we knew the Shiro we’d been following since Season 3 wasn’t the real one.

Even then, however, fans who supported the clone theory were upset because they felt that the resolution of the original Shiro’s consciousness being transferred into the clone body was effectively killing off a separate, unique character who deserved to have his own life independent of the original Shiro.

Yet while I could understand where both sides’ complaints were coming from, I never had that same feeling of outrage.

At the time, I assumed it was just because I noticed that it served as a bit of meta commentary on how the original 80s cartoon took two identical looking characters in GoLion and melded them into a single character.

But after talking to @leakinghate​ and @dragonofyang​ a while back, I realized that there was a deeper meaning and symbolism to the whole Operation Kuron storyline that, in hindsight, I had managed to pick up on subconsciously thanks to being exposed to similar ideas in other stories.

And once I became aware of those similarities, I couldn’t help but look back at Voltron and realize that many of the assumptions the fandom has about the details of Clone!Shiro’s story are not actually supported by the show’s lore.

For example, despite the paladins referring to him as such in Seasons 6 and 7, the idea that the Shiro we see in Seasons 3-6 was a clone in the usual sense that we expect from science fiction - that is, being a unique individual made from an existing character’s DNA with their own separate consciousness who develops their own identity and personality independent of the person they were created from - is not actually supported by the show’s lore.

For starters, the only people who use the word clone to refer to the other Shiro are the human characters, who do not have any intel on how “Kuron” was created. Meanwhile, none of the characters who are involved in Operation Kuron use the word clone to refer to him at any point in the series. In fact, even Haggar herself treats “Kuron” and Shiro like they’re the same person when she’s telling him to lead Keith away in S6E05. When you would think that if there was no point in pretending anymore she would at least acknowledge that he’s not the original.

Furthermore, based on what we are shown of the technological and magical capabilities of the Galra empire, it is not possible for Haggar or the Galra to just download Original!Shiro’s memories into Clone!Shiro’s head. Pidge and Hunk speculate in S2E03 about the possibility that the Empire implanted fake memories of escaping in Shiro’s head via his prosthetic arm are part of an elaborate trap. But not only are they proven wrong, but the series never even confirms that such a thing is within the mystical or technological capabilities of the empire.

The Galra military is never shown doing anything tech based with memory manipulation or the kind of brainwashing that would be required to make “Kuron” think that he’s the real Shiro.

Meanwhile on the mystical front, the only person in the empire who is shown doing anything that involves messing around with other people’s minds is Haggar. And the only abilities that we have seen her demonstrate in that regard are:

Looking into someone’s mind and viewing their memories (seen with Zarkon in S3E07).

Using a person as a conduit for Haggar to spy on the person’s allies (seen with Narti in S4E03 and Shiro in Seasons 5-6).

Removing a person’s spirit/consciousness from their body and storing it inside herself (seen in Season 8 with the spirits of the original Paladins).

Forcing someone to comply with her orders and bend to her will (seen with Shiro in S6E04-5, Lotor in S8E06).

Flipping a psychic kill switch and remotely killing someone from a distance (seen with Luka in S8E01).

Projecting someone’s consciousness outside of their body (Seen with Zarkon in S2E03, S2E07, and S2E12).

Transferring a person’s consciousness from one body to another (Seen with Myzax in S1E02 and Prorok in S2E03).

Nowhere does she demonstrate the ability to create an exact copy of a person’s memories and personality that can then be implanted into another person’s mind so thoroughly that they think they are the first person.

Based on what we’ve been shown of Haggar’s capabilities, the only way it’s even possible for the clone to have Shiro’s memories and personality is for Haggar to transferring Shiro’s spirit into a new body.

Which is pretty much the same thing that we’ve already sen her doing when she creates her Robeasts in Seasons 1-2.

She transfers the test subject’s quintessence from their original body into their larger, robotic one. And her words to Myzax in S1E02 Some Assembly Required indicate that the Robeasts are all meant to remain aware of themselves in their larger form and have all of their memories intact.

Because why would Haggar bother asking if Myzax wanted revenge against Shiro if he wasn’t even going to remember anything after she turned him into a Robeast?

This basically implies that all of the extra Shiro bodies that we saw at the cloning facility in S6E05 The Black Paladins were basically the organic version of empty Robeast shells - lifeless and incapable of independent movement until Haggar does her ritual to transfer the pilot/model’s quintessence into the new body.

And she has previously demonstrated that physical distance from her target is not an obstacle to being able to transfer a person’s soul from Point A to Point B. Because Season 8 shows that Zarkon was one of the spirits trapped inside her mindscape, even though she wasn’t anywhere near the planet he died on in S5E02.

In fact, “Kuron” being Shiro’s soul moved to a new body would also explain how Haggar and the Operation Kuron staff knew to release “Kuron” when they did. How could Haggar know Shiro was missing from Team Voltron unless she already had the ability to locate, and therefore manipulate his consciousness.

But there’s still one question about the logistics and timeline of “Kuron’s” creation.

Because in S6E06, Shiro indicates that his consciousness has been inside the Black Lion since the end of Season 2.

So how exactly could Haggar have yanked his spirit into a new body if he was inside the Black Lion from the end of season 2?

Well perhaps it’s something akin to how Steven’s gem turned into a copy of him when White Diamond removed it in the finale of Steven Universe Season 5.

That even if she couldn’t get his entire soul before he got absorbed by the Black Lion in S2E13, she only needed a fraction of Shiro’s consciousness in order to animate the new body.

In theory, this could hypothetically allow her to split Shiro’s mind into multiple bodies at once, explaining why S6E05 showed that she had made so many extra bodies.

It would also mean that the merging of the two Shiro’s in Voltron was the equivalent of Steven and Pink Steven fusing back together: Two halves of a single individual being made whole again, rather than one character being sacrificed for another.

But if the lore indicates that this is one Shiro with two bodies rather than two separate characters, why does Shiro treat his clone self like a separate person?

In one of my older essays, I pointed out how the visuals of Season 6 frame Haggar reclaiming her identity as Honerva in S6E01 as a parallel to Shiro and “Kuron” being merged in S6E07

Once Honerva goes through her “merging of two selves���, she tries to distance herself from her actions as Haggar, acting like the things she did to Lotor and others were done by someone else.

And her reason for doing that is obvious: she doesn’t want to face the fact that she hurt and abused her own son.

So following the parallels between, Shiro treating his actions in Seasons 3-6 like they were committed by a separate person logically reflects a similar level of denial. 

Like Honerva, he doesn’t want to face the fact that he’s capable of doing the things he did as “Kuron”.

Because Shiro in Seasons 3-6 is not as patient or compassionate with his team. He’s less considerate of others, and focused on his own priorities above everyone else’s.

And Season 6, he physically attacks and in at least one case injures the people he cares about.

Thanks to WEP’s meddling with Seasons 7-8, the payoff where Shiro recognizes and makes peace with that part of himself got left on the cutting room floor.

But the parallels with Haggar helps to at least make it clear what the writers were going for and what the point of this whole storyline was.

I’ve seen multiple people over the years note that Honerva’s transformation into Haggar, particularly the state we saw her in immediately post-Rift and shortly after Lotor’s birth in S5E02 and S8E02, can be read as a metaphor for Post-Partum Depression or something similar.

If you use their status as parallels to apply a similar logic toward the existence of “Kuron,” then the entire clone subplot can be seen as a fantasy representation of how Shiro is affected by his PTSD.

He goes through a traumatic experience and comes out mostly the same as he was before, but slightly off enough that he doesn’t feel right.

He initially hides his struggles and tries to pretend that everything is fine, downplaying what he’s going through. But eventually the strain starts to become too much and he tries to reach out for help, as we saw him attempt with Lance in Season 5.

But as we saw, he was brushed aside and his concerns were not taken seriously.

Without support, Shiro eventually reaches his breaking point, culminating in a fight with Keith in The Black Paladins, where - in contrast with his silent and stoic demeanor when carrying out Haggar’s orders - he repeatedly taunts and antagonizes Keith as if he's trying to goad Keith into killing him.

But Keith refuses to leave Shiro or let him die, and makes it clear in S7E01 A Little Adventure that he will never give up on him.

By refusing to let go in S6E05, Keith demonstrates that he will always support Shiro unconditionally, no matter what. This allows Shiro to finally begin to heal and come back to himself.

He’ll never be the same as he was before, but all the pieces of himself are finally whole again.

As I’ve outlined in older essays, the main theme of Shiro’s character arc is learning to accept that you don’t have to deal with your problems alone, and that needing support from others does not make you weak.

So when viewed in that context, the entire Operation Kuron subplot serves as a demonstration of what happens when Shiro doesn’t get that help and keeps on trying to deal with his problems alone.

TL;DR: While I understand how the idea became so widely accepted, the concept of “Kuron” as a separate character from Shiro is a fan headcanon that isn’t supported by the show’s lore. Instead, the themes and patterns of the narrative indicate that the “clone” is literally Shiro’s soul in a duplicate body, and the whole Operation Kuron subplot is intended to represent the consequences of his reluctance to let others help him manage his PTSD.

[skymaiden32]

Bad News

AO3 link here

Fandom: Thunderbirds, Stingray

Tagging: @dragonoffantasyandreality @thundergeek59 @janetm74 @katblu42 @liseylou @amistrio @uniwolfcorn @idontknowreallywhy (Please ask if you would like to get alerts when I update or post new stories.)

Continuity: TOS

Last chapter, here we go!

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4

Gordon learns who Trench really is.

------

The walk along the beach was surprisingly peaceful, and Gordon found himself relaxing a little, although he knew there was no way he could fully let his guard down. 

Trench broke the ice. “So, you must have questions. What do you want to know?” He asked in that tinny voice of his.

“Okay, that one’s easy enough.” He chuckled without any humour. “Who the hell are you?”

Trench paused. “Oh, right. Thanks for reminding me.” The mask was off before Gordon could even blink. He held back a gasp when he saw who it was. “It’s been too long since I felt the crisp sea air on my face. Can’t take the mask off in front of the Aquaphibians. I’d be dead in two seconds flat.”

“Troy Tempest…?”

The man in front of him bowed. “The one and only.”

Gordon frowned, trying his best to regain his composure. “You’re the last person I’d expect…” Shore hadn’t been kidding at all, had he? This was bad. This was really bad. “You and Titan hate each other.”

Troy hummed. “That was before he… shall we say… opened my mind to Marineville’s faults.”

More like brainwashed, Gordon thought, but didn’t say aloud. “What about Atlanta? Phones? Fisher? All the people you left behind? I’m sure they all miss you.” When Troy didn’t answer, Gordon changed tactics. “Okay, then what about me? I know you’ve met Scott and Virgil before, so that explains how you knew we were siblings, but it doesn’t explain how you knew I was IR.”

Troy smiled. “X20. He was on a routine mission to Marineville and overheard your little conversation with Shore. Which he then reported back to me.” They approached a large rock, and Troy gestured for Gordon to sit next to him. Gordon glared at him in reply, but eventually complied, fearing what might happen to his brothers if he didn't. “It was simple to set up a disaster that would be too hard for International Rescue to ignore.”

“So it was you who attacked the USS Rodgers.”

“I would’ve thought that would be obvious. It was my tracker that allowed me and my men to follow you here.” The other man hummed. “The plan originally was to follow you to your base and seize your technology. Well, that was Titan’s at least.” Gordon raised an eyebrow. “My plan was to just talk to you. I’m glad you found the tracker. Makes my task of explaining our failure to the King easier.”

The aquanaut froze. “Wait, just making sure I’m understanding. You were never going to attack our base? You really were just going to talk?”

Troy grinned. “I may not be on the surface dwellers side anymore, but I still consider you a friend. And Titanica has no pre-existing quarrel with International Rescue. Attacking you would be unwise.”

“You’ve changed your tune.” Gordon hissed, not falling for any of it. “You were taking my brothers prisoner less than ten minutes ago, and now you’re saying that ‘attacking us would be unwise’. I see right through you, Tempest.” He frowned. “Or should I be calling you Trench now?”

Captain Tempest, Captain Trench, whoever it was in front of him, sighed. “Look. I meant what I said. No harm will come to them. As a matter of fact, if the Aquaphibians hurt them, I’ll end them myself.”

“Bet Titan won’t be happy about that.” Gordon scoffed. 

“I learned he doesn’t care a long time ago. So long as someone does the work and the work is done.” Troy retaliated. “And I learned that when I was in WASP.”

“I see.” An uneasy silence followed. Gordon had just one question to ask. “Okay, I’ll bite. Why talk to me in the first place? Why not just disappear?”

More silence. For a minute, Gordon didn’t think Troy would answer him. But eventually, he did. “To say sorry.” He said in a low voice. “Sorry I didn’t manage to say goodbye.”

Gordon’s eyes widened in realisation. It had been too quick, leaving WASP after his accident. He hadn’t been able to stay at Marineville General for long. His injuries had needed to be specially treated. And since he’d already been honourably discharged following the whole mess, he’d never gotten a chance to wave farewell to the group of aquanauts who had taught him so much, who’d done their best to steady him and be a secondary family. He’d never gotten that closure. But then of course, neither had they.

“I’m sorry too. Sorry that I lost touch with all of you. Sorry we’re on opposite sides now…” For the first time since Troy had made his presence known, Gordon looked at him. Really looked. “You look exhausted, Tempest.” He said honestly, and was surprised at his own concern. “How hard is Titan working you?”

“Oh, it’s not that bad.”

Gordon gave him a look, channelling his best Scott impression. “Troy.”

“The undersea races don’t need as much sleep as humans do.”

The look hardened. “Troy. How much sleep do they get?”

Troy winced. “Four hours? At most?”

“And Titanica is the better option over Marineville?”

The other aquanaut huffed. “I’m not going back there.”

“Then leave Titanica at the very least. You don’t have to work for WASP. Just…” Gordon paused. “Just come back to the surface. You said yourself, you haven’t felt the air on the surface for ages.”

Troy sighed, looking out to the sea. “I can’t do that. The ocean is my home now…” He frowned. “Plus, I’d be in for one hell of a Court Marshal. They’d track me down, make me pay for leaving WASP, and then I’d be stuck in a prison cell.” He laughed dryly. “What sea air would I feel then, Gordon?”

“That’s what you think, Troy, but the truth of it is that WASP will defend you. And that’s because you didn’t leave. You were taken.” Gordon frowned when Troy froze, confirming his worst thoughts. “I’ve got it, don’t I? Titan abducted you. He moulded you into someone you’re not, and then he forced you to fight your friends.” Troy’s continued silence was damning. “Tell me I’m wrong!”

“How dare you speak of Titan in that way? He saved me from that life.” Troy’s voice was barely above a whisper, and Gordon immediately knew he’d pushed too far. He couldn’t stop himself from looking down. He knew though, he was right about what Titan had done. The tyrant couldn’t kill his worst enemy, so instead he shaped Troy and his mind as he saw fit. “I will not return to life on the surface.” 

Out the corner of his eye, Gordon noticed the mask slip back on. He supposed Trench was fully back. A crunch was heard as he crushed something in his hand. Gordon recognised the tracker that had let the Aquaphibians follow them here in the first place. “I will not tell His Majesty about this conversation we had, but I believe that conversation is over.” He pressed something on his collar, and began speaking in the Aquaphibian language. Gordon could only barely make it out with the little he’d been taught at WASP. His brothers were being released. “As promised, your brothers are unharmed. I strongly advise that the three of you leave. The rest of your family must be worried.” He gestured in the direction of the Thunderbirds, letting Gordon lead the way there. 

The aquanaut breathed a sigh of relief when he saw them standing there in front of Thunderbird 2. He broke off in a run, just wanting to stick to them like glue now. When they saw the look on his face, they frowned. Scott glared in Trench’s direction. “He didn’t hurt you, did he?”

“No! Absolutely not. Just…” He looked back at Captain Trench and his Aquaphibian men. He didn’t like what he saw in his old friend, now a new enemy. “I just want to get home.”

His two brothers nodded, clearly agreeing with his decision. It had been a difficult day. And as Thunderbirds 1 and 2 both lifted into the air, Gordon processed everything that had just happened. It took a while. All throughout the journey home and the debrief, where Scott had the unfortunate task of telling their father what had just happened. Jeff Tracy was out for blood now, and Alan had looked mortified. . 

Gordon took his secret to bed with him, locking the door for as much privacy as he could get with three brothers in the house and one able to get in contact from space at any given moment. He turned on his video-call, taking a deep breath as he typed in the familiar number. His heart beat in his chest as it rang. Finally, the person he was calling answered. 

“Hello?” Voice only. Dang it. Oh well, it was better than nothing. 

Swallowing down his nerves, he continued what he’d started. “Hi Atlanta. You probably don’t remember me, but I’m Gordon Tracy. I used to work with you at WASP.”

The woman on the other end gasped. “Of course, Lieutenant Tracy! It would be difficult to forget you.” Gordon smirked. His reputation still preceded him, then. “Father said he’d contacted you about temporarily replacing a crew member. Have you changed your mind?”

He shook his head. “I’m afraid not. I called to talk to you about something else.”

“Oh?”

“I, umm…” He hesitated. This wasn’t going to be easy to tell her. “I… saw Troy earlier today.”

“Oh.” Atlanta’s voice wilted. “So you know then.” It wasn’t a question. “He tracked you down.”

“Yeah, and…” Gordon sighed. “I just wanna talk to someone about what he said. Someone who’d know…”

“You don’t have to finish that sentence, Gordon. I understand. Do you want to talk now?”

“Yeah, I would.” 

So that’s just what they did together. They shared what had happened among themselves. The conversations they’d had with Troy since his turn and how they felt. And Gordon felt so much lighter, to know he wasn’t alone in this feeling.

[stalkedbytrains]

Beneath the Electric Sky

Chain One: Preload

Sequence One: Specialization

The city's atmospheric regulators were working overtime, venting steam from deep underground. The entire city was bathed in steam and fog as the city tried to deal with the never-ending climate crisis and the still active half-life fallout.

It made the building the sniper was surveilling hard to pick out, but it also hid her from view. Not that she needed a lot of help to remain undetected.

Synthia was having a hard time with the building and that was even before the winds started blowing across the Pacific strongly enough to bring in some of the radiation from overseas.

The targets she had been sent after were based in a building that was harder to get into than The Collection she was a part of. They had a small army of personnel that all had advanced combat training, what appeared to be some kind of complicated employee tracking system that hunted and killed anyone that was in the building without permission.

Then there was the suspicion of extremely illegal technology and gene splicing.

The assassin that Synthia was after was employed by these people so getting at the organization itself and whatever bullshit they did to make their assassin borderline uncatchable was in there, and it was Synthia's job to get it. She also had a score to settle with the assassin.

Synthia had tracked him down, got ahead of him, and instead of having a halfway civilized conversation he shot Synthia three times with Teflon coated rounds which would have killed her pretty quickly (but painfully) if she had been totally human.

The real problem with this stupid building and this stupid company and their stupid assassin was that they were protected by an EM field. The powerful electromagnets would fry anything with a circuit that got in without proper protection or authorization. Which meant that Synthia would die. Her systems would shutdown and she'd basically suffocate as her heart slowly gave up. She'd die trapped within her body, no matter how state-of-the-art it was.

She could attempt to drop in from above but there were no nearby buildings in which to do it quietly. Unless she dropped in from the air, and while it had been a very long time since her last HALO jump, she could probably manage it. But she couldn't rule out the chance that there was an EM field on top of the building, which could be a problem. However, such a field would only be a problem if she could hit the target of a single building from 30,000 feet up. Synthia was good, she was even extremely good, but she wasn't that good.

Of course she could just storm the building. Blow up the EM generators with a couple of smart rockets or even just break out the magnetic accelerator rifle that she is only allowed under special circumstances, but that would give her away instantly and take away any chance of recovering information or the assassin intact or mostly intact.

This was going to require an inside man, and this goddamn cult was extremely picky about who they let into their premises. That was a skill set that Synthia did not have.

Stealth, insertion, infiltration, sniping? All of those she was one of the best in the world at. But those skills wouldn't get her in there without getting noticed immediately.

She was going to have to call in a ringer.

Hopefully the bosses would let her choose the ringer, because she knew the perfect guy for the job. And he was local.

[000]

At the tiny two room headquarters that Synthia had in the city, she had spent the better part of ten minutes laying out the assault on the building and why it was such a difficult pain.

"What about a HALO jump? Get in over their defenses?" Seth asked.

Seth was nominally her partner but he acted more like a boss.

"I can't tell if there is any defenses on the roof, the weather has been absolute shit the last few days and there's no sign of it getting any better in the next few days, and I don't want to give them anymore lead time since they know we're coming. Besides HALO jumps are fine, but we're talking about hitting the courtyard of a building, which is not necessarily the easiest thing to hit when falling at terminal velocity."

Seth rubbed his beard. "Yeah, and there's no good way in?"

"Not unless you can see something. And I can't lie my way in, since they know what we look like since the fucking debacle with the cops."

He gave Synthia a hard look.

"You can't even remotely blame that fucking bullshit on me," Synthia snapped. "We have strict orders to bring in the assassin if we can and the cops came in guns blazing absolutely burning that bridge as evidenced by him shooting me three times!"

"So what do you suggest? A tactical nuke?"

Synthia didn't even feign a laugh at the jab. "We need an inside man, but, again this cult is paranoid so their members are scrutinized within an inch of their lives. We need someone else to get inside and turn off the EM field long enough for me to get inside."

"What do you suggest? There's no other Collection agents on this coast. You want to get some outside help? You?"

"I have friends."

"That you haven't gotten killed or killed yourself?"

"Io has known me for a very long time. He's a great con man, he's in this city right now, and he has the added benefit of being almost completely human. If he does get caught in the EM field, he's not gonna just die like I will. Like you would."

Seth frowned. "Fine. We don't have many other options and we need this wrapped up quickly. But if this goes sideways even a little bit, I'm torching this friend of yours."

Synthia sneered at Seth in response.

"You know where to find him?"

"I have a pretty good idea."

[010]

There was a black tie party happening at the penthouse of the extremely wealthy socialite and minor celebrity Mason Filmont. The man had a penchant for buying rare and expensive per-singularity technology, and he was both stupid and an asshole, which was Io's favorite target.

Sneaking into the party was extremely easy. It was a party, there was a certain expectation of people coming and going.

Io could have made his way into the party as just a guest, but that wouldn't have got him nearly as close to some of the tech he wanted to steal as he would have liked. So he spent the last few weeks charming his way into the inner circle of Mason.

It was tiring to be sure, and the sex wasn't good either which was a criminal crime, but it was all about to pay off.

"You know I'm worried about all of these gang killings."

A snippet of party conversation caught Io totally off guard. He couldn't quite place it, but there was a familiarity with the voice that spoke. He whipped around and saw a tall but almost tragically slim redheaded woman in an ill fitting black dress.

She saw him turned and raised her glass of champagne at him.

There was something so familiar about the stance, about the hungry and tired look that told him that this woman hadn't slept properly in a long time but the sharp blue eyes told him that he was being hunted by an apex predator.

Io stopped in his tracks and turned to face the woman and the person she was talking to.

"Hey there River," Io said, slipping his hand across the waist of the person he was actively scamming. "Who are you talking to?"

The woman smiled a smile, that put Io very ill at ease. That smile said that she had pulled on over on him.

"Name's Synthia," she said as she held out a hand to shake Io's.

The grip was almost crushing, but it didn't seem to be a deliberate power move, and was instead something that came from her unnatural strength.

"Synthia, pleasure. I'm-"

"Io. I know. We've met before."

"Oh, you two know each other?" River said with a bemused look.

"Oh yes," Synthia said. "But I'd be surprised if Io remembers me. We haven't seen each other in years."

Io's stomach dropped out as she said that. It was the voice, the hair, and the eyes that did it. Nothing else was the same.

"Synthia. Yeah. I haven't seen you in a real long time. Last time I saw you was when you were looking for a particular gun."

Synthia rolled her eyes. "I mean, yes, but we've communicated since then. You helped me find some people. Shame what happened to them."

"You-" Io started but Synthia shook her head just a little bit, a fraction of a movement. "Yes. You're right, how silly of me to forget. How have you been?"

"Lots of changes," she said, indicating to herself. "Lots. But I'm doing well. Some aspects could be better. The job is something of a pain."

"You still in the military?" Io asked.

River had gotten bored by this point and kissed Io. "I'm going to go back to the party, you two have fun."

Once he was gone, Io dropped the smile.

"What the fuck?" he whispered.

"New job," she explained. "Like top secret shit, so careful what you say and what you ask. They're listening."

"And so you thought you'd just drop in on your old friend Io for shits and giggles?"

"I mean, I've been keeping tabs. You seem to be doing good."

"I'm alive," he said. "I thought you were dead, or gone, spirited away to some black site prison."

"You're not half wrong there."

"Fucking hell," Io said, cutting himself off from saying the name he remembered Synthia using. "What's up? Why are you coming back to me now? Am I fucked? Am I being black-bagged?"

"No," Synthia said. "I'm just in a severe problem right now and need a favor."

"Of course, why didn't that occur to me sooner. I'm on a job, a very delicate one, and I'm really close to closing it."

"You're going to what? Steal Mason's cybertruck? That ugly fucking thing?"

"Yes, but that's not the goal. I was going to use it as a getaway vehicle for a bit. I mean it's a legendarily bad truck, and Mason has a fully restored 2025 model. I want to drive it so bad. But I was going to steal some stuff, a couple of art pieces to sell, and some old videogame stuff for myself. Then drive out in the truck."

Synthia nodded. "I'm impressed. A step up from the shit you pulled back in the day."

"You're being weirdly coy."

"They don't know a lot about me before I joined the military, and I aim to keep it that way."

"Then you contacting me is..."

"Very serious."

"What's up?"

"You know those murders everyone is concerned with?" Synthia asked.

"Yeah, some dude is killing gang leaders."

"And about a hundred other people. Ranging from war criminals to CEO's and randomly some random dude in an apartment complex."

Io took a deep breath. "That's a lot of dead people. You know I'm not a fan of that."

"Well the problem is that it is one dude."

"Hasn't this only been going on for like a week? He's killed more than a hundred people in less than a week?"

"Yeah."

"Fuck. How do you think I can possibly help you?"

"This guy has some illegal tech I'm going to rip out of him. And he shot me three times and tried to kill me."

Io hung his head, resting it on the metal railing of the nearby stairs. He knew what that meant. Synthia, whatever she was calling herself now, would never let that stand.

"The thing is I know where his headquarters is, and the cult that is supporting him."

"There's a cult too?" Io whined.

"Yeah."

"Motherfucker."

"It's more religious fanaticism and shit and not like the people sacrificing kind."

"I'm really dreading when you get to the point where you ask me to do something."

"I just need you to open the door."

Io looked at Synthia incredulously. She really was almost entirely different. The person that Io knew from twenty odd years back was still in there, and this conversation, brief as it had been, they really were the same person.

"The entire area is surrounded by EM fields and guards and turrets and extreme paranoia of the religious fanatics. They know me because their assassin failed to kill me, so I can't get in. I can't even get close or I'm gonna die."

Io shuddered. "You really went down that route?"

Synthia shrugged. "Yeah, it gave me the body I always wanted. Cost me a lot in other ways. But still worth it."

"I love tech, just having it be inside me grosses me out."

"The other reason I'm here. You won't instantly die if you screw up like I will."

"How badly does this need to be done tonight?" Io asked as he looked longingly at the rich person's very easily stolen things.

"Badly. We've got a very small window to strike before they realize we're on to them and move and if they move we're never getting to the assassin."

"Why not?" Io complained, even know Synthia knew he was coming with her.

"I'm fairly certain the assassin can teleport. So this is our one and only opportunity."

"Fuck me," Io said. "Let's go, but I hope you can at least pay me for this."

"The company has deep pockets."

"Goddamnit," Io moaned as they went to leave the party. "Don't tell me I'm actually doing work for The Company Company."

"The CIA? Those fucks? Oh hell no."

Io heaved a sigh of relief. "Thank fuck. They are really the worst."

"Yeah and they've put out hits on me like three times," Synthia said as she led Io to the car she had waiting out front.

As they climbed into the car Io turned to Synthia and said, "So I have two questions for you."

"Shoot."

"Pronouns?"

"She and her," Synthia replied instantly.

"Good, good," Io said. "Honestly I've never cared much for the whole pronoun game so whatever works for you works for me. But it might just save time to use he and him for me."

Synthia pulled away from the party with dangerous speed. "Sounds just like you. What's the other question?"

"Lorelei know you're alive?"

Synthia swore. "No."

buy me a kofi

[makutaservaela]

The (Continued) Mutran Chronicles

Vican has obtained pieces of Mutran's continued Chronicles after the Makuta's revival, and he's decided to share them with us.

------------

I would rather not go into the horrifying details (horrifying even to my standards) but I would like to record my journey, and remember the reason that the Brotherhood no longer stands as united as before, under one leader, in one home. 

I remember the energy storm blasting from the Codrex. I was very curious of it, unlike my brothers. They were too busy tearing at each other’s throats to stare the raw and brilliant power in the eye, or stare at their own demise, if that would be a better term for the storms. I remember the light, the shock, the scream, but no pain. I remember how it was blinding light, and then comforting dark. I never really understood what had happened. I had died. I had ceased to exist. I hardly remember what it felt like, truly being nothing at all. 

The next thing I knew, my eyes were open. I was in a room beside my brothers, all of them sharing my own gaze of confusion.

I remember the shock and silence of my brothers as we stared at each other. Suddenly, they were gone, vanished from my sight in an instant. I watched as the walls of the room that I was in sink around me. There was a blinding light, which soon faded into a rotten landscape. It was after this that the true Karzahni began. 

I think it was at least a thousand years I spent in that desolate wasteland, or mighty jungle, or wherever else I woke after my many, many deaths.  

I was on my 387th horrifically slow and painful death, an hour-long suffocation I believe, when things finally changed. Whatever the strange creature was, it was smiling as it had its disgusting paws clamped on my throat. My lungs were on fire and I had no powers, nothing to stop it, anymore than I could have stopped the other 386 excruciating deaths. My vision was growing blurry, and I wondered which terrible place I would wake up next. I ended up waking in the most horrible place of all: 

The base of the Brotherhood’s worst enemies. 

I awoke on an operating table, my limbs tied down and several tubes attached to my body in different locations. A few large beings surrounded me. It was a blue Toa that finally approached me. 

“Welcome back, Mutran.” She said to me dryly. 

“It is Makuta Mutran, to you!” I snarled, unable to think of anything else to say. I always have a habit of growing uselessly angered and saying stupid things when I am forcibly immobile. The one thing that I am jealous of Chirox is that obnoxious wit. Chirox would have, and most likely had, said something sarcastic and rudely humorous.  

“Actually, it is nothing to me.” The female replied. I do not like it much when other beings are disrespectful to me. That always means that they do not fear me. 

“I demand to be unhanded at once.” I ordered. 

She glared “I assume you have learned nothing of your punishment? Perhaps you should be sentenced to the amount of revivals your brother Antroz had: 890.” 

I bit my tongue. I was still enraged at this creature, and curious to my fellow Makuta’s locations, but I was shocked when I realized that this Toa had something to do with my past millennia. 

“Do you know how long you have been dying, Mutran?” The Toa asked, although she spoke as if she already knew the answer. 

I did not respond, but she knew that I counted the days the best I could. 

“Ten minutes.” She grunted. 

“That’s impossible.” I exclaimed. 

“Not with our new technology. You liked it, didn’t you?” She chuckled. “Dream Therapy. We can do whatever we want to you, punish you as much as we would like, kill you as many times as you deserve, and cause no harm to you and waste none of our own time. We can make sure that this dream stays in your memory forever, and even for you to get nightmares about it in your further sleep. It is odd that Makuta have not come up with this idea before we have. It is the perfect punishment.” 

“Where are the others?” I asked, trying not to think of the dream. 

“While your dream has only lasted ten minutes, we have kept you in a comatose for quite some time. The others are already mingling with the Matoran, Toa, and a few others on an Island. ‘New Metru’ I believe it’s called.” The Toa answered. 

“I am assuming my brethren are good and innocent now?” 

The Toa shook her head. “The Makuta are still quite dangerous, but you and your kind are banned from forming a brotherhood again. Therefore, the other Makuta seem to be more interested in doing their own things. Perhaps you will follow suit?” 

“Unlikely.” I grunted. 

“We will let you decide your own future for yourself.” The Toa said matter-of-factly. “Due to your intellect, you may not be returned directly to the others. We will place you in a ‘cell’ of a sort. You shall remain there with a companion assigned to you under our watchful eye, until we deem you ready to meet your old brethren. As with your brothers, a virus has been placed inside you that will grow at least a slight sense of compassion and mercy in your mind. You will also be given anything you need to survive, including food, as your new sustaining body will require. You are banned from harming your companion, escaping before your due time, attempting to kill yourself, or coming up with anymore ‘world taking-over’ plans during your imprisonment. Failure to abide by the rules will result in another round of the Order’s specified punishment, in state, Dream Therapy. Is this understood?” 

I grunted in response. 

“Very well.” Continued the Toa, speaking as if this were the sixth time she used this order. 

I do not remember quite what happened after the Toa spoke to me, but the splitting headache I had upon awakening told me that I must have been knocked unconscious. I awoke in a simple flaxen bed, not unlike the ones used on Destral. I was in a bare room with no adornments around. I remember feeling innocently curious and naked for the first time in a long time. I spent several minutes, possibly an hour, examining my new bio-organic exoskeletal body. It felt strange, I must admit. I remember slicing into my arms and watching, not essence, but living blood spill out. I also remember losing consciousness for a bit after that. I once again awoke a few minutes later with tight bandages wrapped around my aching arms. I also found, to my annoyance and discomfort, that my claws had been filed down. 

The next thing that annoyed me was an aching and cramped feeling in my abdomen. I could not remember such a feeling, and attempted to observe my abdomen for reasons of such discomfort, but to no prevail. I decided to ignore the feeling and observe the rest of my new prison. 

A metal door stood in one corner of my room. I assumed that it would be locked, but to my shock, it was not. The room alone was not my prison. Another door, a bit shorter than mine, stood across from mine. To the left was a blank stone wall, and to the right was a hallway. I decided to see the contents of the other room before exploring off. I had to bend over quite far in order to enter the room, which may not have been necessary if I had shape-shifted. Unfortunately, I seemed no longer in possession of the ability to do so, anymore than I could harness about thirty of my other forty-two powers.  

The inside of the room was just as bare as mine was, but the bed was a bit smaller and the roof was lower. I exited the room and turned down the hallway, walking rather slowly. I would have moved faster, for I was eager to learn of my new inhabitance, but I was feeling rather weak physically. The painful cramp persisted in my abdomen as well, as did a cramped feeling in my wings and my shoulders. 

I came to the end of the hallway to enter a large room. Much of it was lined with shelves full of vials of viruses and concoctions, strange objects made of a flimsy nature that I was later informed were referred to as “books”, and to one side of the room was a large vat. 

As interested as I was on lab work, I was still annoyed by the growing pain in my abdomen, so I looked around the room for something to vanquish it. I found several rooms that left off of the main lab. Across from where my quarters stood, was a large, thick metal door. I assumed that this was the gate to my prison, and at a much later time, I found that this assumption had been correct. I looked around the other rooms in the building, leading from the lab. One was a strange room with a silver tiled floor. It had an odd empty vat in it, with a faucet hanging from the ceiling. Beside the vat, was a small bowl contraption. The bowl was filled about halfway with water, and it carried an odd scent. 

Beside this room, was one with a very tall ceiling. It had ledges and cliffs carved into the wall, as well as hanging nets and wooden objects hanging on ropes from the top of the room. The floor was littered with large fabric-covered objects, as well as a few plants. I left this room, not understanding its purpose from the first glance at all. Across from this room was another, one that’s walls were lined with shelves and cabinets. In the middle of the room was a table with two chairs, and seated at one of these chairs was a being that I had never thought I would see again. Nor did I want to. 

“Good morning, sleepyhead!” The green and black Matoran called to me. His clawed feet were resting on the table, and he had a book in his hand. 

“I thought you were dead, Matoran.” I grunted to Vican, “Or at least, not a Shadow Matoran anymore.” 

“Yeah, I talked to your guys about it. So did Radiak, Kirop, and Gavla. We wanted to be Shadow Matoran again.” 

“And why in Mata Nui’s name would you want that?” I questioned. 

“Well, Gavla was on to something I guess.” Vican admitted, “Being a normal Matoran was okay. Following a set pattern that every Matoran before or after you does as well. Walking in footsteps that everyone else walked in. It was safe. It was secure. It was what we were made for. Then, you and your Shadow Leeches destroyed that. The creatures we became destroyed those footsteps and carved out our own wherever we wanted, whenever we wanted. We cared for nothing. We didn’t stare at our brothers and try to be just like them anymore. We laughed at our brothers, the normal Matoran, and called them mindless drones. Of course, we were afraid after our initial transformation, and we were so busy trying to figure out how to get rid of it, that we never embraced it. I found myself, time and time again, wandering out into the woods more and more. Kirop, Gavla, Radiak, I found that they all thought the same way I did. We needed to get out more and more, we needed to get away from the other Matoran. We could barely stand that droning, repetitive work anymore. We could hardly stand the way the other Matoran barely cast eachother a second glance. The Toa, they noticed. They tried to get us to stop leaving the villages, but that just made us want to run away more. It wasn’t all about Unity, Duty, or Destiny anymore. It was something more...” He stopped for a moment to catch his breath. He rested his book on the table and leaned back.

“That’s when we found out that the Makuta had returned. Of course, we were skeptical. We wanted to be free, but not villains. I already felt bad enough, knowing that I had willingly worked for the bad guys. 

 It was Gavla who began to study them. One day, she was out watching them, and Vamprah caught her. He questioned her, but he could see the want in her eyes. The next day, I awoke from my hovel to cries of shock. I stepped outside to see the crowd in the streets. In the center of that crowd, drawing all of the attention, was Gavla herself, baring black and blue armour, bat-like wings, fangs, and claws. 

 ‘Vican, look! They’re not evil! They want to help us!’ She cried. All of the other Matoran looked to her in disgust. They spat at her, called her a traitor, but she was not fazed. She didn’t pay any attention to them. Her eyes were planted on mine, and her hand was outstretched to me. I walked through the crowd, the cries of the Matoran fading away to me. I was returning to my true calling.” 

He sat back, resting his head back, “I’ve been a Shadow Matoran ever since. I must say, I love it. I’m not evil. I don’t hurt the Matoran, and neither do the Makuta. On purpose, anyway. There’s no ‘evil brotherhood’ or ‘plan to destroy the world’ anymore. Just raw, free, animalistic power.” 

“I see.” I grunted. I could not believe that I had actually paid attention to that Matoran’s story. I thought I had not, but every time I think back on it, I can remember every word. 

“Well then, as you have explained your return, we must now waste time no further. Get to the lab and-” 

Vican held up a hand, assumingly attempting to cut me off. I ignored it and continued to speak, “make sure that everything is ready and-” Vican shot a shadow bolt at me. I hissed and drew back a clawed hand to strike him, but he stood and held out his hand, mechanically quoting the Toa of water’s words, “You are banned from harming your companion, escaping before your due time, attempting to kill yourself, or coming up with anymore ‘world taking-over’ plans during your imprisonment. Failure to abide by the rules will result in- well, you know the rest.” 

“You are my companion?” I grunted in disgust. 

“Yep!” He chirped, rather excitedly. He held out a closed fist, but I knew not how to retaliate. 

“Fist to fist. It's a Matoran greeting.” He told me in a rather sarcastic tone. 

“I will use no Matoran greetings.” I replied. 

“Whatever.” He said, shrugging his shoulders. 

“As long as you are imprisoned with me, you shall treat me with respect.” I snarled. 

Vican laughed, “I’m not imprisoned with you, and I can treat you however I like. If-what ever put us in here- thinks that you are being too hostile to me, they told me they’d remove me and return you to your punishment. I’m not here to serve you, Mutran. You opened my eyes to freethinking, even if I did have to serve you. Now, I’m going to open your eyes to friendship.” 

“I do not require friendship.” I retorted, “Furthermore, you stupid Matoran know nothing about the ways and mentality of Makuta. How do you expect to teach me?” 

The Matoran held up his book. “This here is a basic guide to the physical needs and requirements of Makuta, as written by one of the first sapient ones, apparently. According to this book, Makuta require to be able to be in the general hearing distance of at least one other Makuta in their leisurely times, or their psyche can be damaged.” 

“Then why am I here with you, Matoran?” I questioned, annoyed at the Order’s flaw. 

“First of all, I’m the closest thing to Makuta that you are going to get. Shadow Matoran grant a similar effect to Makuta- and have a similar need. Second of all, I think we all kinda need your psyche damaged a bit.” He chuckled. I did not like the show of disrespect, but I was to live with it. 

Our conversation was interrupted by an odd growling noise. I had not been made formerly aware that we would be sharing our prison with a third being. I looked around in shock, but saw nothing else. Whatever it was that had snarled was quietly and carefully watching us. 

“What’s up?” Vican asked, confused. 

“What else is here with us?” I questioned. 

“It’s just me and you.” He replied. 

“I heard a growl. Something else is here.” 

Vican chuckled. “Stop for a moment, my newly living friend. How do you currently feel?” 

I stopped and thought back on my own body. My abdomen was still aching immensely, and I felt rather physically weak. The bandages wrapped around my arms caused a strange uncomfortable feeling to my forearms, and my joints still ached. I shared the information of my maladies with the Shadow Matoran. 

“Well, first of all, let’s deal with that feeling in your forearms, shall we?” Vican reached to my arms and pulled the bandages off. My arms were covered in ugly looking scars.  

“My armour heals itself?” I asked, startled. Vican nodded and, seeing my own temporarily uselessly short claws, he began to lightly scratch my forearms. 

“Your body is alive now.” He explained to me. “I was told that you would not be used to that. It’s no wonder that you liked killing things; you couldn’t empathize with their life. Anyway, you’ve got nerves and, as you have already seen, blood now.” 

As he began to scratch my forearms where the bandages had been, the discomfort dissipated.  

“Nerves get irritated, and when they do, they itch. Scratching them lightly usually fixes that.” I could see a humour in his eyes as he talked. He thought that this was funny.  

“That aching in your abdomen is hunger. I guess you haven’t felt that in a while either.” He went on. He walked to one of the cabinets and pulled out an indiscernible red object.

“Don’t feel bad, because this one is new to me too. We can’t just absorb energy anymore, even Matoran were changed there. There isn’t a Mata Nui to make energy for us anymore, so our bodies have all been fixed to make our own energy. You do that by putting things like this meat in your mouth and chewing it and swallowing it.” 

I grunted. I wished not to partake in such a disgusting action. Despite my disgust, the feeling in my abdomen was persistent. Hesitantly, I took the slab of meat and put it in my mouth. It had a rather delicious taste. As soon as I had finished ingesting it, some of the pain in my abdomen lessened. I also felt some of my strength return to me. 

“You’re a big fella, so I guess you’d still be hungry.” Vican noted. He fetched some more meat for me, and I all but swallowed it as soon as I got my hands on it. 

After the meal, I was feeling much better. The pain in my abdomen was gone, and I felt much more energy. However, my joints were still aching. After I told Vican, he led me to the large room with the high ceiling. 

“Problem number three of being alive: You need exercise.” Vican told me. “Do whatever you want in here. Fly around, play on the nets and ropes and ledges. Go wild.” 

“I do not ‘go wild’. Nor do I ‘play’.” I snarled. Vican shrugged and flew off into the room. He hung on one of the hanging nets and began to swing around, obviously entertained. I decided to stretch my wings and fly around, but I refused to entertain myself in the fashion that Vican was doing so.

I decided to leave the room after the quick flight and check out the lab. It was filled with many Viruses, and even some I had never seen before. Unfortunately, they were all rather weak viruses, and nothing that I could use to make any dangerous Rahi.  

By the time my Makuta brothers had arrived to pick me up, quite a long time later, I was much more accustomed to living. I had learned also of my need to sleep, found an odd urge to make a nest in the exercise room, learned how to groom myself in the vat in the smaller room (I had learned that the room was called a “Bathroom” and that the vat was called a “Bathtub”). This became necessary after I found that my new body does something called “sweat”, which can cause a powerful odor. I also learned how to expel waste into the strange bowl-like object in there, which Vican had referred to as a “Toilet”. 

It has been quite some time since that day I woke up in that prison, and I have gotten quite used to my living form. I learned that the fresher meat is, the tastier and more filling it is. I have also learned how to tease my prey before killing it, for the fear scent administered by hunted prey is quite strengthening (However, frightening an animal too much causes it to soil itself, the scent of which ruins the meat!) I believe we are meant to be strengthened by this fear scent to help us gain a quick burst of energy in order to down prey. 

Since the day I was put in that prison, I learned of many other physical and emotional feelings not before crossing my mind. Time that I am not spending resting, eating, or exercising, is spent acting in social behavior with my fellow Makuta, something I would have never done before.

I have said long before, but I never truly understood the sentiment until now-

It is good to be alive.