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historicfailure · 2 years

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Life goes on, and Yamato and you grow closer. The people around you notice that as well.

~ X ~

Hello there! :D Welcome back to another chapter! I'm trying to keep the regular bi-weekly schedule of posting up from now on. Also, the next chapter is already done, I'm already working on the 16th chapter ^^ So, for the next month or so, the schedule is safe and sound ;D

Thank you all for the patience with me! I hope you guys like this new chapter! :D

~ X ~

“You want to try Instagram?” To say you were surprised was an understatement. The next bite of the delicious, wonderfully cheesy pasta dish with pesto sauce hung in the air. After another second of mild surprise, you lowered the fork back onto the plate, only to turn your full attention to Yamato. “What do you mean by that?”

A hint of red creeped up his neck. “I mean, I scrolled through some comments on the page and I read some stuff…”

You immediately understood. “Right…”

“You see, some people rightfully ask why the café is called “The Forest Cat Café” and I wanted to post some pictures of Kairi, if that is alright…”

“Oh, that would be fantastic, actually.”

“Really?” His own surprise was so visible on Yamato’s face that you had to chuckle.

“Yeah.” Nodding, you finally picked up the fork of pasta and allowed yourself to enjoy the perfectly seasoned bite of gluten goodness. “Haven’t you heard? The internet was made for porn and cat pictures.”

For a second, you thought Yamato choked at the word “porn," but he recovered quickly. Just an embarrassed cough could be heard before he shook his head. “I didn’t hear that until now, but it’s really good to know.”

“Exactly. And I bet Kairi would do really well on Instagram.”

“Right… So, I just wanted to ask if you could show me how to do everything correctly?”

A smile spread on your face. You had some time, there weren’t any meetings or telephone conferences anytime soon after your scheduled lunch. So, you sat up straight and looked at Yamato. “Sure thing! Do you already have some pictures of Kairi? Or anything, I can show you some tagging tips.”

“What kind of cat owner would I be if I didn't have any pictures of my cat ready?” Yamato mock scoffed, only to break into his trademark weak grin. By now, you knew what that meant and snickered as well while he already scrolled through his phone to search for a good picture of his pet. He was a sappy, sappy man through and through, especially for Kairi. Quickly, you found yourself faced with dozens of cat pictures of Kairi in different positions and several states of hiding away. Before you knew it, Yamato handed you his phone, showing which photos of his pet he had in mind.

“Okay, we can already put aside the ones where she’s half under the couch and only her butt pokes out. Maybe later on when people know Kairi already. Let’s see…” Your thumb brushed over the screen, scrolling until you suddenly stopped. “Oh, this one is quite nice.”

“Which one?” Yamato leaned over and automatically, you turned his phone back to him. His knuckles brushed over your fingers as he zoomed into the photo of Kairi actually looking into the camera, with her ears perked up and stretched out on her cat tree. Her front paws were crossed like a true lady, her head slightly cocked to the side.

“This is beautiful,” smiling, you adjusted the picture until the cat was in the middle of the screen, “and it looks like she’s posing deliberately for you.”

Yamato grumbled deep within his chest. “Could be because I had to use some catnip to get her attention.”

“Sneaky, but effective.” Leaving the image gallery, you quickly opened Instagram. “Alright, let’s see. This should be easy enough. Do you see this here? Click on that and you will work on a new post. Okay, now you can select this picture…”

Teaching Yamato about Instagram wasn’t something you planned to do with your lunch, but you had to say that it was definitely a pleasant experience. He really tried to get behind the secrets of tags and had an eye for the cutest of cute pictures of his cat. Of course, there were some difficulties, but he honestly tried to understand and you were more than willing to explain any topic he didn’t quite grasp the first time around again.

When he posted the first picture of Kairi, the exact same one you selected, with all the tags and a nice description, pointing out the location of The Forest Cat Café plus its opening times, you couldn’t be prouder of him. So, in your excitement, you reached over and took one of his hands.

“Nice one,” pointing with your other hand at the phone in his hands, you smiled at him, “and if you post some pictures from time to time, not every day of course, then people will look forward to Kairi showing up on their feeds. She’s a real beauty and now, people can’t have any complaints or questions about the name of your café.”

Waiting for an answer, you continued to smile. Though, nothing came. Nothing but Yamato blinking weakly and looking into your face, then back down; down to your intertwined hands, which were still entangled, with your palms pressing against each other and fingers laced and folded over the back of your hands.

You could feel your face grow hot, but still didn’t break the contact. “Is that a problem for you?” Your hand twitched up, your fingers tightening around his.

“Oh.” For another moment, Yamato considered your silent offer to let go. Then, his fingers closed more around yours, hugging them close and even rubbing his thumb over the back of your hand. “Mhm. No. I don’t think it is a problem for me.”

“Are you sure? Because this is pretty public.”

“You should have thought about that before taking my hand then.” His teasing tone softened the brunt of his words. “Now, the terrible trio won’t shut up all day about it.”

“Don’t they have work to do?”

“Nope. Not when there’s some hot gossip about their boss and one of his friends involved.”

“Truly a terrible trio.”

Neither of you pulled back. Neither of you stopped the contact. And neither of you wanted to admit that, when the hand holding eventually had to end, that there was an unspoken wish in the air to continue.

At least, you hoped so. You could only speak for yourself in that regard after all. But if you looked into Yamato’s eyes over the table, you thought you saw that same desire burning in them.

Maybe, just possibly, you were way deeper than you believed already.

~ X ~

“Good! Now, go for a throw!”

Sweat ran down your forehead and back. Your clothes stuck to your skin, almost uncomfortably so, but still, you continued to push forward. More namely, pushed towards Kurenai, who was waiting patiently for you to adjust your stance.

Your hands went for the rims of the white jacket your friend wore. One quick adjustment, a new grip on the sturdy fabric, and you turned your hip into her. It was an easy throw, but when you managed to roll Kurenai over the crook of your hip and she landed on the ground with a low grunt of the usually so elegant woman, you still cheered like you just won the championship. Considering it was only your fourth time going to the self-defense course, you already thought you could see some progress. Or hoped so, at least.

“Alright…” Kurenai slowly got to her feet, and just in time, you reached out a hand to help her up. “That was great! Good job on that throw.”

In the background, there were the other women still going in their own sparring matches. Grunts and yells echoed through the room while Sakumo and Kakashi, who joined for today’s lesson to help out his father, watched and corrected if necessary. Amused, you had watched several participants flirting with him, and the aspiring author obviously flirted back, but you had the distinct feeling that none of the women here would be able to get into Kakashi’s pants tonight. Maybe because they were his father’s customers and starting a sexual relationship and ending it on his terms would hurt his family.

Still grinning, you got back into the stance Sakumo and Yamato alike branded into your mind. “Okay. Now, please don’t let me win.”

Her undignified expression would be convincing, if not for the small grin flashing over her face in a mere split second. “No way. I would never let you win just like that.”

“Dream on about fooling me.”

“I might have, perhaps… made it easier,” she admitted, shrugged, only to fall into the same relaxed stance you were in, “but I don't do that a lot. You really made some serious progress already.”

Warm pride flooded your chest, but you reigned that feeling back in. Even though it was high praise from Kurenai, it might be some kind of twisted psychological trick to weaken you for the next sparring match. If you already learned something about the elegant woman, then this: Kurenai always went full out and wanted to win, no matter which methods she had to use to make it happen. It was a trait you admired of her and one you were deeply afraid of when it came to training with her.

Last time during a training, Kurenai shocked you so much with a question about your relationship with Yamato, that you just froze in place. An easy win for her, one she admitted fighting dirty for.

Not this time, you swore to yourself, no matter what Kurenai would say, you wouldn’t react: not freeze up, not stay still, always on the lookout for her tricks.

Her red eyes were already twinkling with malicious intent. She definitely had something planned and wouldn’t make it as easy as last match. That one had been a warm-up for her, nothing else. For another moment, you two seized each other up. Your eyes met hers, and when you saw the wrinkle between her eyebrows deepen, you knew it was on.

She came for you with the speed and elegance of a panther. Only barely, you managed to sidestep her attack. Your heartbeat was already loud and fast in your ears. Still, you tried to focus on her. Just like she focused on you, fixating you with her eyes like she was a scientist and you merely a halfway interesting project to work on.

“Good dodge.”

“Thank you.” The words came out strained at best. Your condition wasn’t as good as you would’ve liked, but it had to do. “Nice attack.”

Her smile was genuine and light, a fresh breeze of air in the middle of the stuffy dojo. “Any plans this weekend? Maybe a meeting with Yamato coming up?”

“You have to try harder than that.” Again, you sidestepped her frontal attack, only to be nearly caught by a sneaky leg trying to hook your legs from underneath you. With a low grunt, you jumped over her attack. Again, back to circling around each other, with your hands in loose fists and eyes measuring up each other.

You had to take the fight into your own hands. Seizing Kurenai up one more time, you smiled at her, full of bright innocence. “Who was that nice man who picked you up last time? You know, the one with the beard? He seemed really smitten with you.”

Two could play that game. As Kurenai’s face fell, her stance faltered. You didn’t need more than that and charged forward. Unfortunately, your martial-arts skills didn’t quite measure up to the level of psychological warfare you could wage.

Air was forced out of your lungs as you landed on the mats, thrown over Kurenai’s hip. A gasp escaped, followed by a sharp wheeze. “Fuck.”

“Oh god, I’m sorry.” Immediately, the other woman bent over to pull you up, and you took her offered hand without a second thought. “I just… You got me on the wrong foot there. I mean, not that Asuma is a wrong thing, it’s just… fresh.”

“Relax,” you smiled up to her, “I just wanted to try your tactics for a little bit. Unfortunately, I don’t have the actual skills to pull them off just as successfully as you, though.”

“However, it was a good attempt.”

The two of you nodded at each other, just when Sakumo strolled by and commented on Kurenai’s foot work. After a quick exchange which you could use as a little break, Sakumo turned to you, the ever-present gentle smile on his face. “Nice try to catch Kurenai off-guard. Also, a good attack. For the next time, you need to watch out for your balance as well as being able to react to an opponent who overcomes his surprise easily.”

“Alright.” Nodding at him, you wanted to get into your fighting stance yet again, but he raised one of his hands and waved you off.

“Not today. It’s already late and everybody did well today, so how about we cut the training a bit shorter than usual?”

“Oh, I'll take that.” Only now, you noticed the sweat running down your back and sticking the thick fabric of the jacket to your body. A good shower was in order.

“Good job, everyone!” Sakumo turned around to the entire room, clapping his hands together. The different fights broke apart, only one or two people continued for a few more seconds. Time for you to take a look at Kurenai.

The brunette seemed still a bit off, but didn’t show one bit if your remark hit her deeper. The surge of remorse rising deep within your chest must have shown on your face, as she needed only one look at your features and instantly stepped closer, her eyes wide and lips pulled into an apologetic smile. “Don’t worry. It just… hit me unexpectedly, that’s all.”

“That’s the point of psychological warfare.”

“It’s…” Kurenai sighed. “Asuma is a really nice guy, but I’m… not quite sure if I should really pursue him. There’s lots of history between us.”

“Really? Now you have caught my interest.”

“Right.” A quick grin flashed over her face. “Alright, a good hot shower sounds heavenly now. Maybe… Can we talk about this some other time? When it’s a bit calmer and more… private?”

Something deep inside of you clicked. You understood, but the reality of Kurenai asking to go on a friend-date with you still made you feel like you got hit by a freight train. In the most positive way possible.

“Sure.” Trying to play it cool wasn’t easy, and you could only hope you managed to maintain a calm face. “Let me know when you want to meet up.”

“Okay. Give me your number whenever you want.” Your steps mingled with the voices of the other women chatting away as you two entered the changing rooms. The others were just as happy and excited, but probably none of them were as happy as you. After all, the first official friend-date with another woman since ages was something to get excited about, right?

~ X ~

“And then,” you nearly pushed your coffee mug off the table with your excited motions, “we actually talked about our work and our jobs and about Asuma. And oh, beauty routines! You should see Kurenai, her skin is goddamned flawless! Like, don’t get me wrong, but sometimes I want to gossip and share rumors and giggle.”

“You can always giggle with me,” Yamato instantly offered, with a quirked half-smile flashing over his face as he rescued your cup from another one of your wild gestures, “and maybe I can try to… reveal my beauty routines.”

“You know it’s not entirely the same”, you laughed. Fiddling with your fingers, you looked around Yamato’s kitchen. The light tones and white tiles, together with the clear structure and organization of everything around made you feel at home. That’s why you found yourself automatically drifting towards Yamato’s place, just a day after you met up with Kurenai. Gods, you needed to get this excitement out somewhere!

Still seeking for words, you tried to find the right ones to describe what was going on inside of you. “It’s… I’m sure there are some talks you favor having with your male friends over another woman.”

Yamato shrugged weakly. “Not many.”

“But there are some talks.” Leaning forward, you continued to smile at him, while the scent of freshly brewed coffee as well as the fresh hint of chamomile tea filled your nose. “Probably with Kakashi or some other friends.”

“I can’t deny that.”

“Hah, I knew it! But that is of course fine and dandy, because I really don’t want to know how many beautiful men or women you take home every weekend.” You made it sound like a joke. That was what it was, a little joke to lighten the mood. You didn’t expect Yamato to answer seriously, not at all.

“None.” He didn’t even blink as the single word echoed between the walls of his kitchen. He took a little sip from his beverage, grimaced weakly, only to raise his head and a single eyebrow at your flabbergasted expression. “What?”

“I just…” You stumbled over the words. Why was your mouth suddenly so dry and your tongue so heavy? And why was your heart beating this loudly, drowning almost everything else out? “I mean, I didn’t expect that. For you to just… tell me that.”

“I didn’t want to let any misinformation stand between us.” Such an easily given answer, given in such an easy, smooth tone. Again, you dared to meet his eyes, and you knew he was dead serious.

A blush forced its way onto your face, hefty and strong and uncomfortably warm. In comparison, Yamato was still unfazed by his casual words, stirring his coffee with calm hands and a simple spoon. While you were busy cooling your blush with your hands, he continued to push forward, his voice as calm and collected like he was merely talking about the weather. “I’m not one for casual hook-ups or a quickie. I want… I want a stable relationship before I become intimate with someone. After the last time, I won’t go for anything less than that.”

“Alright.” Nodding, you tried to think of anything else but Yamato. Yamato hovering above you, his eyes full of love and care, while a very well endowed part of him pressed into your stomach. Really, Yamato should turn down the heating inside his flat. “Alright… Uhm. I totally understand that. I also…” You coughed a bit, and swallowed the ball of anxiety down. “I also would need… the same. Before I get… intimate with someone. Again.”

“Alright.” He repeated. Not a hint of a blush was to be seen on his face. How unfair. How absolutely unfair, that he wasn’t one bit fazed by this… conversation. Into a territory none of you ever went before. With gestures and some telling looks, maybe. But not like this. Words made everything more real, like the possibility of something happening was just around the corner.

How exciting. How frightening. How absolutely, horrifyingly… Wonderful.

Without saying a word, Yamato moved out of his chair. The wooden legs scrapped weakly over the tiles, the sound echoing between the tight walls of the kitchen. With wide eyes, you watched him, how he moved and carefully picked up his own cup. Moving it to the sink, he turned his back to you, which gave you a window of opportunity to ogle at his backside for a very short second.

To be fair, it was a delicious sight. The sweatpants Yamato wore today weren’t too tight, but just tight enough to show off the muscles and firmness of hard work and dedication.

“Want me to give you a bit of space?” he suddenly asked. One look over his shoulder followed, his eyes catching even the smallest of possible hints of your emotions. Quickly and still holding onto your face, you nodded, only to groan a bit at his soft laughter.

“Fair enough. It was a pretty… unpredictable topic.” His steps were eerily silent as he left the kitchen, but you still listened with a pounding heart to him moving through his flat. Then, when you were sure he was somewhere in his living room, you slumped down on top of the kitchen table and buried your face in your crossed arms.

“What is he doing to me…?” you mumbled, muffling your voice in the fabric of your shirt. “And why is he telling me that now…”

Deep down, you knew why. And at what Yamato hinted at. But you didn’t want to believe it; didn’t want to think he really showed genuine interest; didn't want to trust your own emotions, which howled and screamed at you to take the next step.

No. No, you couldn’t. And yet, you could. It was hard to admit to yourself, but you genuinely could make advances towards Yamato. He made that more than clear. A challenge, an offer, and a reward all at the same time. Still hidden and a bit hazy, but if you decided to speak up, he would

—without a doubt in your mind—accept you.

But you still hesitated; still didn’t want to feel like you were jumping into a relationship with him, even though your break-up with Ryota happened months ago. You wanted to do this the right way and not jump head-over-heels into the next possible disaster.

And ruin what you had with Yamato. First and foremost, he cared about his friends, and if you two would enter a relationship, only to fuck it up…

Something pressed against your legs. Something small and furry, meowing with a clear demand in her tiny, croaky voice.

Looking down, you spotted the infamous diva Kairi for the very first time in the flesh. Just like in all the pictures Yamato loved to show around, her fur was neatly combed and looked like she got a professional cut every day of her life. Her ears perked forward as you shuffled around to look at her better, and the worry curling deep down in your stomach eased up the tiniest bit.

“Hey.” Your voice was just as croaky as her meow, laced with emotions you didn’t want to inspect further. “Hey, little diva. What’s up?”

Kairi meowed again. Louder this time, more demanding.

“I know, I know. Sorry for intruding.”

You could feel her sniffing at your leg. Just soft wheezes of warm air brushing over the rough fabric of your jeans, then a soft bump.

“Did you just…” Ever so carefully, you scooted backwards to look at the cat properly. “Did you just head-bump my leg?”

Kairi blinked. Then, with an indignant huff, shook her head, raised her tail and ran out of the kitchen like the devil was right on her back. You could only blink in hazy confusion at that behavior. Kairi was truly a little diva, doing what she wanted, whenever she wanted. But hey, that was a cat for you, right?

You were still faintly smiling when the recognizable soft steps of Yamato reached your ears. He paused for a second, only for him to start talking like his admission and your freaking-out over it never happened.

“Was that Kairi?” he asked as he passed by. The legs of the chair scrapped over tiles once more as he pulled it out for him to sit down, only to smile at you with full of sincerity. “I have never seen her come out before.”

“Yeah, we’re best friends.” As calmly as you could, you shrugged. “Haven’t I told you? I hide catnip in my clothes.”

“Sure you do.” His soft laugh was simply music to your ears. As you finished off your tea and continued to chat like nothing ever happened, Yamato didn’t have to say how special it was to him that his usually fickle cat came out for a short period of time. You just knew, by the way his smile lit up his face and the way his eyes scanned the kitchen over and over again, like he was hoping Kairi would come out again and settle right in your lap.

~ X ~

You never would have believed to be able to socialize like a well-functioning adult ever again, but talking with Kurenai in private, and with Anko and Shizune at work, made you feel better than anything else in the last months. Your life picked up as well, with the last finishing touches on Kakashi’s book before it could go into print, as well as the first steps in promoting the new author. Uchiha Press seemed interested as well to work together to raise Kakashi Hatake even higher than Senju Publishing alone could. At least, Tsunade said they seemed interested when she came back from a meeting with them.

In between that, the regular meetings with Kurenai outside of the self-defense training, as well as the training itself drained you so much. There was not really time to visit the Forest Cat Café after work hours, but instead, Yamato and you met up in his flat. If the fall weather allowed it, you would go for walks around the small park close to his flat, or visit some shops around Konoha.

You two continued to remain friends, but there was always something special lying underneath every action. Nothing was ever just friendly or not charged with… something.

One evening, you were cuddled up on Yamato’s couch, covered in a blanket and positively amused by the movie which was playing on the screen, when the next thing happened which shook your determination to keep your relationship with him strictly friendly.

For the entire day, you had felt a little bit dizzy. The night before, you didn’t sleep properly and the stress of the last weeks got to you. When Yamato opened his door and saw the exhaustion on your face, he instantly led you inside and parked you on his wide couch.

“You have to take a break,” he said as he spread a blanket over you, “you’re constantly stressed out over the upcoming release.”

“It’s not the release party yet,” you mumbled as you slid lower onto the couch, “it’s the party to celebrate the collaboration between the two publishing houses. The release party will be later on, probably only next year in spring or fall.”

“Anyways,” he raised his eyebrows in a silent yet soft warning, “you need to relax. Stay here. Do you want anything?”

And just like that, instead of the planned walk through the park, you spent some hours lounging on the couch and mindlessly following some kind of sci-fi movie Yamato obviously had watched before. Through all the lens flares and indistinct tech-chatter, you noticed how he seemed to move his lips to some parts of the dialogue.

“Your favorite?” you asked after another scene which Yamato apparently knew by heart.

Without taking his eyes off the screen, he nodded. “Pretty much. My father… he wasn’t the best at being around, but he loved the series. And watching the episodes and later the movies with him was always… was always home.”

Shrugging, he finally looked away and down towards you and you could see him mentally noting how you were halfway hidden behind the edges of the blanket. A quick smile tugged at his mouth, only to poke your covered side with a sharp index finger. “Why? Can’t appreciate some of the sci-fi mumbo jumbo?”

“You know exactly I’m one for some sci-fi mumbo jumbo.”

“Well?” He gestured towards the tv. “Care to watch with me? Or close your eyes. That might actually be better in the long run.”

“Nah, I’m good now. Did you know that even closing your eyes for half an hour already helps in not feeling that tired? Even when you don’t sleep.”

“Where did you get that from?”

“Some kind of health magazine or something.” With a low grunt, you sat up, leaning your head against the backrest behind you. “Alright, what kind of macguffin do they need?”

“How do you know that they need a macguffin?”

“They always need a macguffin.” Scoffing, you turned your face towards the screen, trying to understand some of the dialogue ripped out of context. “Let’s see… Oh, it’s about the fate of the universe. Didn’t expect anything less than that.”

Together, you continued to watch the sci-fi movie. Even though you missed the start, everything was pretty understandable and kind of linear: good versus evil, internal struggles, a new crew coming together and getting accustomed to each other. A typical setup for a saga of movies, to sell lots and lots of merchandise on the back of a franchise. Despite your earlier claim, your eyelids started to drop after roughly thirty minutes. It was hard staying awake, with the warmth of the blanket enveloping you and Yamato being so close. Everything was so comforting and gentle, to the point you didn’t even notice when you drifted off.

A big hand gently prodding at your shoulder and a warm voice whispering your name pulled you out of the shallow depths of sleep. For a moment, you considered opening your eyes, only to grumble to yourself.

“Aaah, okay, okay.” Yamato’s soft snicker soothed you further. “Sleep. You need it.” The volume of the tv was turned down, and when he moved back into his original position, the couch dipped ever so slightly. Grumbling again, you curled up even further, with your head slipping down and bumping into his thigh.

You were so tired you didn’t even care. But Yamato obviously did. The thigh beneath your temple tensed up, so much so you felt the muscle tremble faintly. Another grumble escaped you and wrinkles cut deeply into your forehead.

Sleepily, one of your hands reached for his knee. Your fingers closed over the juncture and squeezed, silently assuring him that it was alright. You didn’t care. You just wanted to rest at the moment.

Only gradually, Yamato relaxed again, with your head leaning against his thigh and your hand splayed across the knee. And right before you drifted off for good, you felt how his fingers closed around yours, gently holding onto your hand like it was made out of precious porcelain.

The moment was really nice. The corners of your mouth quirked upwards for a split second, only for you to breathe out. You really had to sleep now. Sleep, with Yamato by your side and the impossible explosions in space in the background.

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kankuroplease · 2 years

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I’m late with everything as per usual, but a very happy belated birthday to @wind-becomes-lightning 🖤🎉🎂🎊🎁🖤

#captain yamato #tenzo yamato #yamato tenzou #tenzo x oc #my art #q

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kankuroplease · 2 years

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I know we talk alot about the Founder au with Aori but what about with Yamato? Do you have some thoughts about how they get together?

Yams? Aori’s absolute type 😃

I figure with them, they’d meet because of Naruto. Aori still checks in on Naruto from time to time and she’s determined to befriend Kakashi even if she thinks he’s intimidating because Gai is fond of him, so she bound to meet Yamato eventually.

First impressions of each other? She’s a dangerously optimistic person and He’s a unique individual (in a good way).

Yamato’s opinion of Aori changes with time as he gets to know her better and sees just how dedicated of a sensei she actually is to her students and while she may seem fearless, she’s not. She just chooses to not let the gravity of any situation get the best of her again. Eventually her warmth would get to him in a slow burn kind of way as they build their friendship and mutual trust~

Aori, of course, would be the first one to develop feelings because she’s attracted to people who are dedicated to their work and she sees/appreciates the soft spot he’s clearly grown with team 7. Aori would keep those comments/feelings to herself the best she could because her main priority is her job not counting of some alcohol induced Ted talks to Kakashi or Yamato himself. She would, however, go out of her way to try and get to know him better; What he likes, why the flashlight thing, what’s on his mind, making him a tree stump pillow, etc.. BUT it wouldn’t be until after the war that she feels like there’s no reason to hold herself back from at least asking him out on her first date date (as seen above) 🖤

#ask #captain yamato #tenzou yamato #yamato x oc #oc: aori #my art #yeah she would have to chakra control her feet to the ground to not do a dumb happy dance #yamato x Aori

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wind-becomes-lightning · 2 years

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Meet me in the woods (5)

Sora Sarutobi is a sheltered child, set safe with parents, classmates and clan, wanting for nothing. He is nobody, living through more terrible things in the first six years of is life than others do in a lifetime. When they meet by accident, Sora’s life is changed forever.

Forgot to advertise it here when I uploaded last night. Uh, yeah.

Grown up Sora looks like this (click)

Yamato | Tenzou x OC

8795 words.

Sora starts dating. Tenzo cheers up a friend.

5. Umino Iruka

The rain of the last few days had just died down and the sun had come out again when Sora’s doorbell rang one evening. She was now living in her own little flat, just one room with a tiny bathroom attached, so tiny in fact, that she needed to open the couch each night to sleep on it. There just wasn’t more money ready for her at the moment. She had settled with one of her research papers next to the couch when she heard the sound at the door. She hadn’t expected any guests but since her mother and Saya sometimes dropped in unannounced she wasn’t faced by it. Instead she got up, put her clothes in order and walked to the door. It was either her mother or Saya. It was Iruka.

***

Kakashi was a damn mess. Maybe worse than he had been in ANBU days. Tenzō now understood why he had searched for constant relief while he had been younger, trying not to live in his head too much, because Kakashi’s head sure was a messy thing when he had time to use it too much. So day by day he was hanging back in Tenzō’s tiny ANBU apartment, refusing to train much or go anywhere or do anything but sleep and drink tea. It would be his grave eventually, Tenzō thought and continued trying to cheer his senpai up, any way he could.

[More on Ao3]

#fanfiction things #oc: sora #yeah i mean if you arent reading this yet you probably never will so uploading this late is a nevermind

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wind-becomes-lightning · 2 years

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Meet me in the Woods (1)

When I said I'd never do a long form again after private tutoring I lied! Ha!

I got a lot of Tenzo feels these days and thought hey, lets write the long story down of him and my lovely oc Sora. Eh, if you follow me on tumblr you already had a peek into their lives together. This will be long (the first chapter is already long) and will not make false promises about updates. I will try to aim once every week (or every two weeks), but we will see!

Grown up Sora looks like this (click)

Yamato | Tenzou / OC

8379 words

warning in this chapter for canon typical child abuse (poor kinoe really has it hard)

1. The boy in the forest.

It begins when they are children.

One would assume that a child named Sora, named after the sky, would have been born on a clear day. A sunny day, sometime in summer when it is warm and pleasant to sit under the starlit sky. But Sora was born in February, when ice was still hanging thick over the grounds of the village, coating everything from the gate to the hokage tower in quiet hibernation. The sky was full of low hanging clouds that earlier that day had brought a heavy icy rainfall, too warm for snow, but too cold for rain. It was this sort of weather nobody liked and nobody wanted. February was a month of inbetweens, Winter was going out and spring was coming in. In this chaos Sora was born, healthy, a round cheeked little baby with red hair sprouting on her head. She cried only very little and her eyes glistened like the stars in the sky at night. Her father called her Sora, because to him she was like a gift from heaven.

Sora was a healthy child, 10 toes and 10 fingers, two arms, two legs, everything where it was supposed to be. One thing her parents noticed immediately, although it became much more prominent in the future: Her skin had an irritation, a sort of dysfunction, that all around her arms and even up to her right cheek vine like streaks were running around her, almost looking like a tiny tree branch with leaves on them, all spread over her body. The nurses said that she was kissed by nature, but her parents knew that the outcome was due to rare genetics, a throw of a dice of her fathers lighter skin and her mothers darker skin. Now Sora was both and wrapped up in vines for all her life. In hindsight, her father once thought much later, when Sora was much older, he should have known her fate right then.

///

He was born as nobody, to nobodies. Faceless, voiceless people he could not remember clearly, too young had he been when they had parted from each other. There was a memory, a vague feeling at the very back of his mind, something so fleeting that he wondered if he hadn’t dreamed it. A soft hand, a kind smile, a person saying “My love” aimed at him. It kept him going when he was at his darkest, but he wasn’t sure if it had not been his mind playing tricks on him. He was so young when so many terrible things happened to him and maybe it was just his consciousness trying to help him out a little, trying to keep him sane in an insane world.

Maybe his parents had been poor, maybe they had sold him for food. There were so many towns around the great villages that had the poorest of the poor scraping by on almost nothing. Maybe he’d had many siblings and his parents couldn’t keep him. Maybe he had been stolen and given away. Maybe he’d been an orphan from the beginning and the orphanage he had lived at had decided to give him up. He didn’t know and he never looked into it later in life. As far as he knew he was nobody.

His first name was a number. Fifteen. He got it when he was given over to the snake. One of his first real memories, burned into the back of his eyes like the light of a strong fire, was him, undressed, in a room full of crying children. The snake was around him, studying his physique and state. “Not underfed”, the snake hissed, tongue hanging out dangerously. Fifteen had been frightened, the other children had been frightened. There were 50 of them, all undressed and naked and studied. Then he got the first vile into his arm, a sharp pain like a fire spreading through his veins. He had crouched over, screamed his lungs out. Something was going on inside him, something that didn’t belong there. They pushed him into a room with the other crying children. Some of them fell over in front of his eyes instantly, never to move again. For him the torture lasted for hours, but he endured. He was only a little over two years old.

[Read the full thing on Ao3]

#naruto #yamato tenzo #yamato tenzou #yamato tenzou x oc #naruto oc #fanfiction things #i have no idea how to tag this #oc: sora #au: ikigai

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wind-becomes-lightning · 2 years

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Meet me in the Woods (2)

This is very long, my apologies! I also was too impatient to have it beta'ed so it might be kinda messy. Thank you for reading so far.

Grown up Sora looks like this (click)

Yamato | Tenzou / OC

8622 words.

prev chapter

Kinoe gets on his first mission and Sora finds out a truth about her family

2. The Third Hokage Sarutobi Hiruzen

Sora was close to graduation, maybe a few months away, when the village was attacked by a tailed beast. It was a cold October night, much colder than usual, and she had already been in bed practising her signs with her fingers. She still had trouble using them fast enough, though she did remember them. To graduate she needed to have at least a basic understanding of some jutsu and while she was overall not as talented as others, she did have her areas of expertise. It was way past her sleeping time when she heard the rumble outside. There was a roar, so loud that the walls of her bedroom were shaking and every drawer in her cupboard opened up. Like an earthquake, just coming from above and below. She could hear her mother scream for her, her fathers panicked footsteps in the hallway. Fumiko ran up to take her by the hand and both of them ran.

She could see the monster towering over the village, rampaging forward mercilessly without caring what was in its way. Sora could see a group of Genin leading people to evacuation shelters and she shivered at the realisation that in a few months time she’d be one of them. Someone who was tasked to take a leading role. Instead she held tightly to her mothers hand, fear crawling up her neck. The fox kept roaring, smashing windows, probably killing people. They had felt so safe after the war had finally ended, Sora’s generation was supposed to be the first that came of age in peacetime, now she lived through an unimaginable horror right at her doorstep. Worse than the roars of the monster was that Sora lost her mother’s hand in the crowds, as many hurrying ninja were running in between them. She was alone now, no idea where the shelter was, panic rising in her heart. She ran to the only place she ever felt safe: the forest.

When the nine tailed fox attacked, the younger kids of Root were ordered to stay in their rooms and they did, not even flinching when half of the building crashed into them. One child died, it was a gruesome sight, how they had still tried to pull him out from under the rubble without any hope, but none of them cried. They had seen children die every week since they had arrived in the Root facility. This was the way it was. They could hear the fox rampage the city and Kinoe wondered how many had died on the outside. He had never really had the ability to look out at the village, not yet old enough to leave the facility to do tasks for Danzo-sama, but he imagined it a pretty, homely place, if only from talks of older agents who had already been outside. He couldn’t help but think of the only human connection he had made since coming here, the red haired Sora girl, and wondered if she was fine where she was.

Eventually the noise quieted down and even though their dorm was missing a wall, they were ordered to go back to sleep. It was early morning at this point and Kinoe did not sleep a minute with the rush of the wind coming in from the outside. Usually October brings mild temperatures, but this night had an especially sharp, cold wind, as if the weather knew that there had been a tragedy going on. Around 8 am they were summoned to a general assembly, the older members sweaty and tired from the night, dressed in their ANBU uniform with masks over their eyes. They were told that the Hokage had defended the village and died for it, and that his wife had also died. The fox had been sealed in their son, who had just been born yesterday. They were told to keep an eye on the boy, Kinoe knew this was not meant in a lovingly, friendly way, but to keep him under tight control. He was an important asset in Danzo-sama’s future.

[Read more on AO3]

#naruto #yamato tenzou #yamato tenzo #yamato tenzou x oc #naruto oc #fanfiction things #oc: sora #au: ikigai

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wind-becomes-lightning · 2 years

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Meet me in the Woods (3)

Chapter 3 after almost a month. Here we go or whatever, sorry for the excessive lengths I have no breaks.

Grown up Sora looks like this (click)

Yamato | Tenzō / OC

9370 words.

Teenage years, career advancements and first kisses, plus a disaster.

3. Friend killer Hatake Kakashi

Time passed until Tenzō saw Hatake Kakashi again. He kept thinking of himself as Tenzō, but being called Kinoe became more and more normal again, the word suddenly no longer weird when spoken out loud. He had failed his first and second mission and been sent out to train even harder than he had before, but Danzo-sama did not pull him from missions completely. They gave him an ANBU-Uniform and sent him out to fight and assassinate and do fetch missions and since he did not run into Hatake again he mastered them without issues. If one thought about it closely it was mostly Hatake who had been the reason Tenzō had failed in his missions in the first place. Now that he seemed busy somewhere else Tenzō also had no problems finishing his own assignments successfully.. Every compliment out of Danzo-sama’s lips was like a reward.

He let his hair grow out. It fell long and brown over his shoulders. He had seen pictures of Hashirama, the first hokage, with his long brown hair that reminds one of the root of a tree and maybe a tiny part of him wanted to look like that, to make the connection between them even stronger when it wasn’t really there in the first place. Who knew? He could have been a Senju baby that had been stolen a long time ago and that was why Lord First’ cells worked so well in his body. It was the crumb of hope Tenzō hung on when every other humanity was pushed out of him. Murdering people on the daily in early teenage years did that to a person. He could feel his emotions drive him less and less and the only thing that mattered was the successful end to a mission and the praise out of Danzo-sama’s mouth. The system of Root, the foundation, it clearly worked, as bitter as that was.

Somehow, despite her inadequate ninjutsu and taijutsu and even worse genjutsu Sora was promoted to Chuunin at her third try at the age of 15. Her teammates had at this point long since moved on to better, more interesting missions, Yasumi first and then Saya shortly after. They rarely did things as a three man cell anymore at this point, Sora was too low rank to join them on their S-Ranks. She was sad about no longer being able to hang out with them, having gotten close to both of them in the years they’d spent close together, but she was also relieved that she was not included in their violent, war preventing tasks. There were enough stories of murdered children when Saya came home to last Sora a lifetime. She instead hung back, did missions in and around Konoha and trained her very basic skill with Iruka. Both of them had been essentially the black sheep of their team and taken too long to advance, now they were always black sheep together.

It was clear to Sora that she would never have a career as a shinobi. It was not only her lacking skill level, but also her general growing dislike for everything that had to do with the village administration. Saya had joined the ANBU guards and given the code name fox and her missions were gruesome and overwhelming without any support system in place. When an Anbu guard returned home from bloodshed and trauma they were given a day off, a time to “recharge” and maybe an evaluation, but then usually cleared for work again. Sora had wanted to confront her uncle about it, but bit her lip at her father’s request. It was incredible that nobody seemed to think what she was thinking: that these people needed more support to work through the things they had seen, the things that had been done to them. Konoha had offered counselling sessions to the children that had lost parents in the Kyuubi attack, but according to Iruka it had been short lived and didn’t help much to work through his recurring nightmares. The sessions had essentially been doctors telling him that he was “physically fine” and that if he just “stopped worrying” his mind would follow. Bullshit. It made Sora sick.

[Read more on AO3]

#oc: sora #au: ikigai #fanfiction things #naruto #naruto oc #yamato tenzo #yamato tenzou x oc #whatever i dont know how to tag

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kankuroplease · 2 years

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He’s too cute not to kiss on the tip of the nose 🥰

#tenzou yamato #captain yamato #yamato x oc #oc: aori #my art #the courage it would take for her to do even this 🫣#q #yamato x aori

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kankuroplease · 3 years

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Last Yams post of the day! Threw some color on these sketches because who doesn’t deserve some extra love on their birthday? 😌

#captain yamato #yamato tenzou #tenzou yamato #tenzou #tenzo #oc: aori #my art #Yamato x Aori #Yamato x OC

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kankuroplease · 3 years

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drunken bridal party scavenger hunt mischief with Yamato 🥴

10/10 would cuddle him and fall asleep right there out of pure bliss

#yamato tenzo #yamato #Yamato x OC #fanart #she’ll regret how she acted but not what she said #she MEANS it #oc: aori #just would rather confess properly #but Guy sensei will have to give her a pep talk to leave the house the next day #her little team would be like 😱🤭😬#sensei you didn’t...#tw alcohol #captain yamato #yamato tenzou #yamato x aori

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historicfailure · 6 years

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The ninth chapter and the big breaking point! But please, don’t fret. This is the last angsty chapter from here on. After that, there will be recovery and fluff aaaaaaall the way ^^

After seven years, you draw the line. It is enough, but that doesn't mean it will be easy.

The days in the hospital blended into each other. Day by day, you were watched over by the nurses and doctors, who checked the clean slit at your throat once per shift, but otherwise just dropped in to tell you about their everyday work; a topic you found yourself enjoying more and more with each shared story. Your parents also visited you every day, stayed far longer than the visiting times allowed and the nurses let them, seeing what your life-threatening injury did to them.

Night by night, you would lay awake, restless and weary, staring at the ceiling with wide yet burning eyes and remembering the cold feeling of metal slicing through your skin, parting the flesh and nearly bringing you over death’s door. Still, after days between the last meeting of Ki-! Of the former friend and yourself, you could recall the feeling like it just happened, in the very moment.

Like he was right there in the room and still held the kunai to your throat, eyes dead and face unmoving.

When you were allowed to go outside in the garden by an overly excited new nurse who had no idea what happened to you, you broke into tears. Outside meant the hospital garden. Hospital garden meant trees. Trees meant…

Panic flooded over your mind like a wave, resulting in a trembling bottom lip, tears rolling down your thinned face and a high whimper, similar to the one of a dog. Then, you didn’t remember how you ended there, you woke up to a nurse trying to explain to the head nurse why you were underneath the hospital bed, curled up into a small ball and crying silently into the hem of your gown.

From that moment on, the new nurse was always trying to avoid you and no other nurse ever tried to approach you about going outside of the hospital. Instead, to maintain a physical exercise, they would allow you to go around the pediatric part of the hospital and watch their work, explaining this and that and all of their doings on the way. Enthralled to the very core, you would listen. These people saved your life. They saved lives on a daily base.

You wanted to be like that too. No matter what. Thus, you soaked the random bits of wisdom up like a dry sponge, taking and taking and still craving for more, until even the new nurse stopped being careful around you and became one of your greatest fans in your attempt to properly clean the halfway healed wound at your neck. The day you managed to successfully wrap the bandage around your own neck again, she cheered alongside the rest of the staff, who all were apparently really invested into your recovery.

Therefore, the day you had to leave the hospital was a blue one. It would be nice to return to your own room and your own bed, to have all your toys and other clothes than the hospital gowns. But still, after the eight weeks you spent with the same people who seemed to genuinely care about you, taught you things without hesitation and told so many interesting stories about their jobs, you simply didn’t want to leave.

In secret, you swore to yourself to become a nurse. Those people were definitely admirable beyond your childish comprehension. They were awesome, dedicated to the needs of other people and did so willingly, even cared for a scared child with an ugly scar at her neck with all their heart and passion. You wanted to become one of them. You wanted to become unfazed when faced with terrible wounds and heart-ripping diseases, you wanted to give hope to the people by telling them everything would be alright, you wanted to become someone other people would look up to, just like you looked up to the nurses and doctors who saved your life.

What you didn’t expect was the ominous feeling in your bones when you entered your room for the first time in months. There you stood, a plushie pressed to your chest, the bandage around your neck clean and safely secured, and didn’t dare to set a single foot into the room where Kinoe had visited you. It was like he was there, in the room, hiding in the shadows and watching still, with his black, deep eyes which once enchanted you and now scared you with their intensity.

“Mom?” you asked and stared wide-eyed at the window, slightly ajar and the colorful curtains ruffling in the slight fall breeze coming from outside. “Can… Can I sleep with you and dad tonight?”

Maybe your mother understood with her maternal instincts. At last, her look softened noticeably and she stroked through your strands before ushering you into the kitchen again, cooking your favorite dish to celebrate your return to the household, while you tried to help with your short, chubby fingers as best as you could.

It would take you weeks to sleep alone in your room. More months than you could count to not use a little sleeping light, illuminating and slashing through the surrounding darkness. Years until the nightmares and ultimately the memories started to fade into the back of your mind. The only thing which stayed with you was the deep, residing blind panic whenever you had to work with ANBU’s.

They had the same dead, puppet-like eyes like Kinoe when he put the kunai to your neck.

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The metallic taste of blood filled your mouth when Kiyoshi entered the living room. His heavy duffel bag slung over his shoulder, your boyfriend looked around, like he expected a different sight and when he saw nothing out of the ordinary, the suspicion in his eyes grew only more apparent. Quickly, you released your bottom lip from the relentless grip of your teeth and swallowed the disturbing taste down.

“Do you want something to drink?” you asked, instead of brushing right past Kiyoshi in a blind flight. “Tea, maybe? Water?”

Again, he looked you up and down, seeing the twitching fingers and the nervous fidgeting. Then, Kiyoshi stared at you, like you were a stranger who stole the skin of his girlfriend, a skin-stealer of the worst kind. Trying to impersonate someone who was dear to him and failing spectacularly.

“Water,” he said and let the duffel bag drop to the ground, “would be very nice.”

Everything, just to bring some distance in between yourself and Kiyoshi. With a positive mumble, you weaseled into the kitchen. Glass clanked against the metal of the sink as you filled it with water, the pipes slightly groaning.

Talking with Kiyoshi seemed impossible. Why again did you have to break up with him? It was a good relationship, it was fine to fall asleep beside someone who was only a friend for you. It wouldn’t hurt one bit. A good arrangement, nothing else. Being friends, living together, starting a family, marriage…

Forever.

A cold shudder rained down your spine. No. Just, simply no. Sure, you weren’t filled by complete disgust as you imagined Kiyoshi trying to initiate some intimacy, but… It also didn’t feel right, didn’t feel like years ago, overloaded with giddy excitement and crave for the other’s presence. Now, it seemed… terribly dull to even try to bear Kiyoshi’s hands on your body, on your middle, inside you.

Not only that, you reminded yourself, it’s not only that the sex is not like before.

Something was missing. Something essential, something which would be an anchor in bad times and a strong ground to build onto in good ones. Something Chie and Gai obviously had, something you missed without realizing you missed it.

Something you found once more in Tenzo, even though you tried to deny it wildly in the same second the unwanted thought crossed your mind. The security with Kiyoshi was gone. And it wouldn’t come back, no matter for how many nights and days you would spend and try to uphold the relationship for the sake of the long time spent together.

Time should never be a deciding factor to uphold something you weren’t a 100% committed to. And the commitment, as depressing as it sounded, couldn’t be guaranteed with your state of mind anymore, not when you realized what you missed greatly in the relationship with the black haired cook.

Love.

Your fingers stopped shaking when you stopped the flow of the water and the sweat at your palms dried when you carried the glass of water over into the living room. Kiyoshi still stood there and his eyes were set on the halfly filled cookie jar on the counter.

“You baked,” he said. Surprise was written all over his face. “You don’t bake.”

“Yes,” you answered calmly and handed him the glass, “I don’t.”

Ignoring the stunned silence, you sat down on the couch, folded your legs at the knees and waited. Only waited, until Kiyoshi, still flabbergasted and throwing glances of utter disbelief at you, settled down on the single armchair right in front of you.

“You don’t bake.” He exclaimed again, “You never did. And when you did, it would be something like bread.”

“That is correct.”

“For more than that, and I quote now, you don’t have the nerves.”

“Also correct.”

Your sudden calmness seemed to agitate him. A deep wrinkle between his eyebrows showed that as Kiyoshi sipped at his water, his deep eyes still fluttering over your figure like he searched for the change he could notice, but not pinpoint.

Kiyoshi settled the glass down, anxiety radiating from the man in harsh waves. “About what do you want to talk?”

“Would you be surprised if I say, I want to talk about our relationship?”

Silence fell like a blanket over the room, suffocating every other sound than the ragged breathing of Kiyoshi. Now, he knew what happened while he was gone. Now, he found the exact change in the room and according to the even further furrowed lines of his face, he didn’t like it one bit.

“Our relationship?” he echoed and tightened the hold around the glass, “Quite a heavy topic for someone who just returned from a one month of constant journey.”

You expected something like that. “It’s important,” you answered, “And I don’t think you want to wait with that specific topic either.”

“Babe, can’t we push that on tomorrow? I’m tired.”

“No. Now is the perfect time.”

“Just let me shower and eat a bite. Won’t hurt anyone.”

“You take hours in the shower. And to cook, because you want it to be perfect. It would be evening by the time you were finished.”

When had been your last fight? You couldn’t remember. Could Kiyoshi? You needed a few valuable seconds to remember the actual last time you fought a big, unreasonable clash of voices and arguments.

Aaah. Now I know. Never.

Never. It was just row after row of conflictless and peaceful days. No argument except for the small quarrels about who could go first into the bathroom or what dinner should be. Nothing big, nothing meaningful. In retro perspective, even that faux peace tasted foul when you thought back. Like you two were even back then too afraid to address any real issue to avoid the big, ugly fight brewing under the surface.

And Kiyoshi could smell it too. His nose scrunched upwards and once more, his delicate yet calloused fingers around the glass tightened. For a second you feared it would burst, exploding by the sheer strength of his grip, but then you reminded yourself of the fact that he wasn’t a ninja nor anywhere close the inhuman, trained strength of one of them.

“Then now.” With a low sigh, the color returned to his fingers and he took another sip, even though the glass shook slightly. “What do you want to talk about so urgently that it can’t wait for a few hours?”

One last breath. Air rushed into your lungs, before you licked your lips and opened your mouth, only for your tongue to form the last fateful words.

“I want to break up with you.”

Time stretched out into long seconds. Long seconds which turned into long minutes and they would’ve turned into long hours, if not for the weak ticking of a nearby clock. Then, Kiyoshi stood slowly up, muscles rigid and trembling slightly. You couldn’t read his face any longer, couldn’t read in his eyes anymore. There was nothing but blankness, nothing but empty understanding of the situation.

He sipped once more at the water, staring straight through you. His eyes didn’t see anything, didn’t get caught at an incarnate detail, they just… were lifeless. The foulness was back, spreading rapidly through your whole body and coating your tongue with a disgustingly, slimy layer, which nearly made you gag. He didn’t look like the Kiyoshi you knew throughout all those years any longer. He didn’t look like the boyfriend you woke up with a mug of coffee early in the morning, when your busy schedule allowed it. He didn’t look like the Kiyoshi with whom you shared bed, bath and bread with for seven, whole years.

Kiyoshi breathed in, blinked rapidly and the curtain before his eyes lifted. “You… You want to break up?”

His voice wasn’t betraying anything. Instinctively, your hands curled harder around each other, digging into the flesh of your palms. Even though it seemed like it, but Kiyoshi wasn’t completely at the point of really understanding your words and their intention. He was still gone, thus, you needed to carefully lead him there. Step by step, word for word.

“Yes,” you said and shifted in the cushions, “Yes. I’m sorry.”

“But…? Because of my work?”

“No, Kiyoshi. Your work never was a problem for me.”

“Because I left for a whole month, right? It must be that, I didn’t do anything wrong-!”

“You didn’t do anything wrong at all. It’s not the month you spent travelling with the daimyo, it’s not something you or I actively did.” Another deep breath in. Just jumping off the cliff, no big deal. “I-I just realized that this between us, that our relationship isn’t what it was before. Let’s face it, we don’t love each other romantically. Not anymore. Not your fault, not mine. I’m sorry.”

Kiyoshi was staring at you, eyes blown wide like saucers. His mouth opened, gaped open like a fish’s, closed, opened again. You waited for a response, a physical sign the man understood and processed properly what you wanted to say.

Kiyoshi always had been a peaceful and easy-going person. Only in the kitchen, his blood tended to boil high and he would bark orders, but he always would praise his staff afterwards and give them a pat on their backs. You watched that little ritual more than once, before your boyfriend would stroll over and went back to your shared home.

Therefore, you didn’t even realize at first how the glass shattered on the ground. Shards of glass zipped through the air, the last remains of water splattered around, while you could only blink and stare shell-shocked at the fuming man you thought you knew like the back of your hand.

“Stop saying that,” he hissed through his teeth, “stop fucking saying you’re sorry!”

You shoot upwards, facing his anger head on. “Why shouldn’t I tell that I am indeed sorry!?”

“Because I know what it means, I know you fell in love with someone else!”

You wanted to protest. You really, really did. The words were already crawling up your throat, ready to defend yourself from the accusation, when you suddenly halted and realized: You couldn’t.

Because it was true. You fell for someone. For Tenzo, even though the truth hurt more than anything else. Even though being with the ANBU was impossible after the happenings of the past, after the cruel and cold decision he made such a long time ago. But was Tenzo -Kinoe, you stupid woman- truly the reason for the rash decision to split a relatively good relationship up?

No. No, he and the developed feelings weren’t at fault. The decision had brewed for months underneath the surface. You had noticed and now, seeing the shattered glass and the puddle of water drying slowly in the carpet and remaining on the tiles, you knew Kiyoshi had noticed too. The slight lessening of intimacy, the low thrumming of dislike in the air, the small details only Kiyoshi would pick up and build into the bigger picture you had only seen when faced with your feelings for…

Before you could speak up, Kiyoshi went on, his voice rising and lowering like the tide and in his eyes an angry sparkle you couldn’t quite connect to the usually friendly and calm man he was. “I noticed, okay!? I noticed you weren’t with me, even though you would still be in the same room! I-I noticed, that you wouldn’t let me hug you anymore, only want kisses on your terms, only wanted to be close to me when you wanted and not when I wanted!” He swallowed audibly and lashed once more out, throwing his accusations around and hitting with each one too close for comfort. “I suspected for a while you had another man, but thought I could change your mind! I thought I could make you fall in love with me once more, to not make you leave me, to not-!”

“Woah!” You felt the anger boiling in your chest, hot and burning in your lungs. “What do you mean, you already thought I had someone else?”

Kiyoshi snarled out. “Please, (Y/N)! I didn’t come that far without some working brain cells! The late-night shifts in the hospital? The long shifts? Sometimes out of the blue, from one second to the other without a notice in advance? And then you returned all rumpled and sweaty and dirty-!”

“More than once I told you that the head nurse loves to switch up shifts!” From all the blind fury swirling inside of you, you couldn’t properly breathe anymore. One ragged breath in and this one intake of air got stuck until you shoved it out of your mouth, short and sharply hissing through the air. “More than once! And I’m all dirty and sweaty because I work with difficult ninjas who hate being too long in one room and I’m responsible for dragging them back into their beds with all my limited means! I wasn’t unfaithful for one fucking second!”

“But you have another one now!?” Kiyoshi screamed. Agitated, he stomped past the mess of water and glass and was suddenly right in your face. “Why do you lie to me? Why do you see the need to lie to me then!?”

Spittle flew from his lips. His eyes were squinted, wrinkles of anger forming all over his features, which made his face sharper and stranger than ever before. You couldn’t recognize the man before you any longer. You just couldn’t. This wasn’t the same gentle and stuttering boy who had come up to you and asked for a date, red in the face and the roundness of his cheeks showing off his age. No, this raging man before you was scaring you in a way no ANBU had ever done.

An ANBU was dangerous without a doubt. You knew, experienced it on your own. But you never expected any possible danger from Kiyoshi, never thought he could look like this. Instinctively, you tried to take a step back, but the couch was in the way. With a hollow thud, your foot met cushions, but Kiyoshi didn’t even notice that you tried to get away from him.

Instead, he ventured even further, closer into your personal space and the first beads of cold fear mixed into the cloud of anger in your stomach.

“Why do you lie to me?” he asked once more, voice low and hard. Black strands fell onto his forehead, only underlining the image of the crazed-out cook. “Tell me, (Y/N). Why do you still see the need to lie to me?”

“I never lied to you,” you whispered, “and I was never unfaithful. Sure, I fell for someone else, but only during the last month and I never even kissed him, not to talk about sharing a bed with him.”

Kiyoshi’s jaw tensed. “But you fell for someone. Fell in love.”

“Yes.”

“While I was gone?”

“Yes.”

“But you didn’t do anything with him?”

“No. I couldn’t.” You answered weakly.

The cook gritted his teeth. “Because…?”

“Because I know what’s right and wrong. And even though it was wrong to fall in love with someone else, I’m not that wretched to sleep with someone while we are still together. There’s still some kind of responsibility and dignity inside of me.”

Kiyoshi continued to stare into your eyes, glared and searched for something only he knew about, while you could only stare back and plead to whatever deity was responsible for scared women to protect you from any harm. Stomach twisted into a tight knot, you waited and bated your breath, counting down the seconds which soon turned to minutes and Kiyoshi was still staring at you, still searching, still calculating…

With every passing moment, your heart pounded louder. With every passing second, your thoughts came up with ridiculous scenarios, one more fantastic than the other. And with every passing, fleeting blink of an eye, you wished strangely enough for Tenzo’s calm presence. His warmth, his collected demeanor, his relaxed words and the presence of nature he carried with him everywhere the man went. The natural, earthy scent surrounding him, the steady fingers, ruffling his spiky brown hair up, the white mask hanging by his side, the black eyes curled into a weak yet incredibly happy smile.

Just an illusion. Nothing else. It’s Kinoe, not Tenzo.

Still, you wished for a second person in the room. For someone who was strong; stronger than you. Calm, definitely calmer than you. And for someone who supported you in this heavy and difficult decision, who stood behind you and knew that it wasn’t as easy as it seemed.

Nothing was ever easy. It was life, you realized and braced yourself for more harsh words when Kiyoshi’s eyes cleared up, life in its most common form.

Then, after far too long minutes, the man lowered his head. His previously tense muscles went slack and with a trembling exhale, he crumbled into the couch, folding into himself and appearing smaller than you ever saw him. Hiding his face in his hands, Kiyoshi’s shoulders trembled and the first muffled words drifted through the air.

“Seven years. Seven years, (Y/N). I thought-I-I thought I could fix this. I thought we could fix this.”

A heavy exhale left your mouth and your own shoulders slumped down in badly hidden relief. Finally, the atmosphere changed. Kiyoshi noticed you were sincere and honest. Admitting to your mistake of falling for another man hadn’t been easy, but you stood your ground, appearing calm and steadfast and like this, the male forced himself to believe you.

Off to the next stage.

Carefully, you walked over to the armchair Kiyoshi had occupied before. But you kept standing. Your knees were shaking, felt like jelly and you feared if you would sit down that you would never be able to stand up again. Instead, a single hand stroked over the smooth material of the backrest of the armchair, all the while you tried to find the right words to find a good start for a long-needed explanation.

“I wasn’t even aware of it, you know?” You winced a little at the obvious weakness of the words, but kept on pushing, slow and steady, your voice trembling only the tiniest bit from the earlier tension. “Wasn’t even aware I had fallen out of love. I needed the time you were gone to realize what happened. I thought only there was something missing and that the time away from each other would help distinguish what it was. And it did.”

Kiyoshi didn’t seem to listen at all. His eyes were locked on his feet, his hands were wrangled into each other and he kept on staring down when you continued, your own hands covered in cold sweat and knees still strangely weak. “The time we were together doesn’t matter. Sure, it was a long time, but are you really ready to continue a relationship in which you aren’t in love? Because you deserve someone who loves you and not someone like me who just bears your hugs and kisses. You’re a good guy, Kiyoshi and I don’t regret being with you, not one bit. It… It just doesn’t work out anymore, now that I’m awake.”

No reaction whatsoever. With a distant fear in your stomach, you pressed on. “I fell for someone else, yes. But that isn’t the reason, it was a symptom. Not that it matters, actually. There’s no way I could be with him, not after… Doesn’t matter. The point is that… we’re simply not in love anymore. Or at least, I’m not. And you deserve so much better than a loveless relationship. You deserve more than an uncaring girlfriend who will eventually resent you for simply… being weak to not have left when the chance was there to end everything relatively friendly.”

Helpless beyond imagination, you stood in the middle of the living room you shared with Kiyoshi for the last five years, fiddling with your fingers and the hems of your shirt. You were blind in this situation, lost like a ship on the ocean with no sense of direction and no idea how to get out of there. The only thing you could actually do was pressing forward in a weak, trembling voice, unsure of everything you said and only able to pray you could get your point across without him taking it the wrong way. “You said you wanted to fix us. But there’s nothing to fix, not anymore. Maybe there was at some point, but we missed it. Missed it maybe a few months ago, maybe a few years ago. I won’t say I’m not at fault for being blissfully blind and ignorant, for being not there when needed, for falling for someone I shouldn’t have fallen for. And I’m sorry that you think you’re at fault, because that’s not true. Nobody is at fault. We were just…” You shrugged weakly. “We were just too late.”

Kiyoshi shook his head. “Too late?” he whispered. More to himself than to you, more to his jacket at which he nestled. His hands slipped into the insides, searching for something and when he pulled his hand back, your heart stopped.

A small casket, barely big enough to fit into the palm of his calloused hand. And you knew what was in there. Instinctively, you realized what Kiyoshi had tried to do with this gesture, even though it had been the worst move from all he could have chosen.

“Too late?” he repeated and after all the time he couldn’t look you in the eye, Kiyoshi raised his head and met your look. “Is it really too late? For us?” He raised the casket higher into the air, helpless, desperate hope shining out of his face. “Can’t we start over now, knowing what we did wrong? Can’t we try again?”

He wanted to open the small casket, wanted to show you what was inside, but you stopped him with a resolute, sharp gesture of your hand before even a sliver of the ring could glisten under the sunlight. “No. No, Kiyoshi. I get you’re scared. Hell, I’m scared too. But it’s better to make a clean cut here, where it won’t involve more people than necessary. Just… Just know I hope that we can still be friends afterwards. I don’t want you to… To hate me. Because I still like you as a friend.”

The casket cluttered to the ground. And really, it sprung open and a golden ring rolled out. Your eyes were instantly locked on it, as the ring jumped and stumbled over the ground, the small diamond merged into the gold hindering its movement. Like a cruel reminder what could’ve been, the ring came into your direction, only to slow down and ultimately stop in the middle between Kiyoshi, who buried his face in his hands and yourself.

So much could’ve been if you just shut your mouth. So much could’ve happened. You could see it all before your inner eye. A wedding, a nice but slightly itchy wedding kimono, a brightly smiling Kiyoshi in a festive kimono himself and the same ring stuck to your finger as a promise. Moving sometime into a new house, getting carried over the threshold by the cook, laughing and the hand with the ring slightly heavier than the other one. Bearing a child for nine long months, the ring becoming heavier and heavier with each passing day. The first audible fights and your little child in the middle of it, while your ring became the ultimate sign of the cage your marriage was. The ugliest fight of all, with screaming, hateful words and flying books through the air, the ring thrown to Kiyoshi’s feet when you left for good. Meant to hurt the other, meant to destroy the other, meant to break everything apart which should’ve been broken so many years ago.

Slowly, you bent over to pick the ring up. The metal was cold in your sweaty palm as you tiptoed over to Kiyoshi, peeled a hand away from his face and dropped the ring in his hand. “Take it,” you said and the tears in your eyes burned terribly, before you closed his fingers around the accessory. “Take it and keep it. For someone who deserves the love you have to give.”

Kiyoshi desperately shook his head. The sound of his weak crying echoed terribly in your ears.

I did this to him. I broke him.

I broke him apart. And now I leave, leave him alone to pick up the pieces of his destroyed heart and soul.

You were able to bring out a last, dim “I’m sorry”, before you stumbled away. The bag you packed a few hours ago was waiting in the bedroom, in the terribly, terribly empty bedroom. Hastily, you stumbled over and pulled the bag into your arms, before you turned.

Your breath wrecked through your chest and sobs bubbled up, but you bit into your bottom lip until you could taste blood. Yes, you did this. You decided to end it, what was without a doubt the right decision. But now, you had to live with this decision forever. Maybe you would never get over it. And maybe, only maybe, when the currently right decision proved to be a wrong one all along, you would regret everything you had ever done.

But right here, right now, in the present, it was the right decision.

That didn’t mean it didn’t tear your heart into pieces.

Through the blurry vision, you could barely see the entrance door and even less of the faint shadow standing in the opening to the living room.

“You’re going?” Kiyoshi’s voice betrayed that he was crying just as much as you did. Hoarse, weak and cracking at the end, disbelieving of the fact that you emptied your shared flat of all of your worldly possessions. He took a step forward. “Where are you going? Do you have a place to stay?”

“At a friend’s house.” Only a small stumble over the word “friend” disemboweled the simple statement into the fearful retreatment of the scaredy-cat you were. “She wants to have me until I found something.”

Kiyoshi nodded slowly. Tears streamed down his face, but with a determined swipe of his arm, the liquid vanished in the sleeves of his sweatshirt. “Alright,” he said, “alright. So, that’s it.”

The fact he didn’t fight any longer against your lonely decision told more about the state of your relationship than his earlier, weak struggle. Deep inside, Kiyoshi had seen it coming. He had seen it and prepared some weapons; arguments and a ring to tie you two together. But at the same time, he already gave up, curled himself into a small ball like a scared rabbit, waiting until the storm was over.

A shaky nod was everything you could muster. Your fingers clutched into the soft fabric of your bag in which the last, most important items of your life were stored. Some mementos without any value, official documents and small nick-nacks you had found last minute. Nothing was left behind.

It was almost like your life with Kiyoshi had never existed. Like you never spent seven years with the cook, who had his head hanging low, the trimmed hair hanging into his face and hiding the still dripping eyes.

You opened your mouth for another begging to understand, for another apology, but before even the first apology could roll of your tongue, Kiyoshi raised his hand and your mouth fell closed again. “I don’t need another apology. Just… Just allow me one question.”

Seconds passed by, tense and filled with the melancholy of the man. When he was strong enough to raise his eyes, Kiyoshi seemed to look like through you, before his vision focused on your pale and sunken features.

“Is he a good man?” he asked.

The shiver of cold fear rained down your back and tingled in all four of your limbs. You didn’t expect Kiyoshi to ask at all about his rivalry, thus, you were caught ice-cold by the question. Then, the words started to settle in. Was Tenzo a good man? What was he, exactly to you? Was he good? Was he bad? Something in between?

“I don’t know.” you whispered. Because that was the naked truth.

Kiyoshi looked full of dimmed sympathy up. “Then, I hope you find whatever you were looking for with him.” With a tired gesture, he turned around and left you on your own, while the first slight slivers of doubts started to creep into your brain.

When you left, the sun was still high on the sky. It wasn’t even noon yet and you already felt exhausted like you had a day-long shift at the hospital in the emergency room. Stumbling and sniffling, you carried your last bag through Konoha, not caring how many people saw your deranged state. Your hair was a mess, your clothes were a mess, your entire being was a mess. You had no idea how you managed to make your way to Chie’s and Gai’s house. Somehow, apparently. When your brain wasn’t muddled with the suppressing doubt and the cruel reminders how much easier your life would be if you hadn’t noticed the missing of love in your relationship, you found yourself on the doorstep of the friendly, small house. From the inside, you could hear the booming voice of the green-loving ninja and Chie’s soft remarks. There was also the enticing scent of a freshly cooked, hot meal in the air and unconsciously, you breathed deeply in.

In the fall sun, the house looked so cozy and warm that another layer of sadness faded away. A real house, a real home, sanctuary for those who had no other place to go and for those who wanted to escape their depressing situation for a few, stolen hours. And the doors were open for you. Chie promised that with a wide smile on her face.

For another moment, you lingered on the doorstep, before you found enough courage to knock at the wooden door. Three knocks, heavy and deliberate. Almost in the same second, the voices you could hear faintly from the inside fell silent. Then, hasty steps came closer and before you even realized what happened, Chie slung her arms around you.

“It was right what you did,” she mumbled into your shoulder, “Even though Kiyoshi was nice and loved you. It hadn’t been fair to make him suffer by staying with him. For both of you.”

“You truly think it was the right thing to do?” you asked and the sudden, irrational panic that Chie would change her opinion from one second to the next overwhelmed your mind.

But she nodded. Nodded simply into your shirt and continued to hug and stroke over your back when you also put your arms around her, encasing her in a bear hug while new tears fell from your eyes and were soaked up by her sweater.

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He shouldn’t be here. He really, really shouldn’t be here. He really shouldn’t be here, in the tree right across the street of the flat where the one and only person he would probably ever love had to fight a fierce battle. Tenzo could feel the acid bubbling in his stomach and crawling slowly upwards as he stared at the windows which had accepted him over the last four weeks for so many times with a warm welcome. Now, they were tightly locked, sealed by the fear of the woman who…

With a sigh, the man let his head fall forward. The woman who confessed her love to him, only to shy away as soon as she knew what he did to her.

No real shock. Deep down, he had known. Deep down, Tenzo had known (Y/N) would react like this, be scared and flinch away as soon as she realized that the hands she held with love and affection once held a kunai to her neck and spilled her blood.

His hands in the black leather gloves tightened. He should’ve known and expected it. Being a ninja meant to be prepared for everything, but for some reason, his weak and faltering heart had shaken its head and closed off its ears as soon as even the slightest chance of being completely and outright rejected.

Not rejected. Denied. Closed off. Deemed worthless.

The old bitterness rose in his chest, choking and throttling Tenzo effectively. He had to close his eyes for a moment, concentrate on the energy of nature pulsing around him. Right through the tree underneath his feet, through the earth a bit farther away, through the air surrounding him. Only when the foul emotion lost its sharpness, he could breathe freely again and look at the windows of the only thing close to a home he would ever have.

And even here, nobody wanted him. Nobody wanted him, again.

A sigh dropped from his masked lips, before Tenzo leaned back into the rough bark of the tree. No use thinking about his depressing childhood. No use thinking about the only ray of sunlight in the darkness from back then. The past was in the past, what had been done couldn’t be undone and he had to live with his bad decisions just as much as any other person had to.

Instead, he tried to focus his mind and hearing on the present, or, more namely, the inside of the apartment right in front of his eyes. (Y/N) was in there and he had spotted the face which smiled from the few pictures inside the flat, at the gates of Konoha when Tenzo passed by, wearing the dirty dust of a sandy street.

A strange wave rose in Yamato, one he hadn’t experienced yet and still could identify. Over the years, there were many kinds of feelings washing over him, but this one was entirely new. Jealousy. Tenzo grimaced, his hand clawing into his chest plate until the leather squeaked silently. Only then, he let go of his armor and glared at his slightly hurting hand. Most days, Tenzo was glad for the rescue out of the fangs of the ROOT and the tank he had considered his only safe place. The world was vast and wide, the bright sunlight too nice on his skin to not be glad to be free. But sometimes -like now- the feelings overwhelmed him because of his education as a tool in the hands of the village. Especially new ones and especially bad ones.

Voices filtered into his dark thoughts and quickly Tenzo looked again into the living room. (Y/N) fiddled with her hands, fingers entangled into each other and Kiyoshi drunk from a cup of water, his dark eyes set on the figure of the nervous woman. From his position, Tenzo could barely hear the voices of the people over the noise of the street.

“I want to break up with you.”

“You… You want to break up?”

“Yes. Yes. I’m sorry.”

“But…? Because of my work?”

“No, Kiyoshi. Your work never was a problem for me.”

“Because I left for a whole month, right? It must be that, I didn’t do anything wrong-!”

“You didn’t do anything wrong at all. It’s not the month you spent travelling with the daimyo, it’s not something you or I actively did.”

Tenzo shuffled in his spot and the branch on which he sat moved oh so slightly. He could feel the tension rising in the room, becoming heavier and definitely more dangerous. Dangerous for (Y/N). Out of instinct, Tenzo reached out to the kunai holster at his thigh. He was ready to defend her from a possible attack. If Kiyoshi snapped, he would go in and save (Y/N), if she wanted or not.

(She endured too much. And this time, he would save her for good and not let her nearly die, not let her nearly bleed out on the cold forest ground because it seemed like the only option. This time, he would definitely save (Y/N) from any harm.)

When the glass shattered and (Y/N) flinched, Tenzo was so close to flinging himself from the tree, into the flat. Right through the closed window. But he waited and preyed, and was rewarded with a relaxation of the situation. At first, it didn’t look like it, but then (Y/N) managed to calm Kiyoshi down with her words and gestures.

Tenzo tried to avoid it, but whenever he only slightly glanced at the woman, his heart started to act against its natural order. Beating faster in his chest, blood rushing through his ears and a certain heat crawling through his entire body. Absent-mindedly, he rubbed the spot where his heart beat, while his eyes were trained at the first friend and love interest he ever had. The other hand was still scratching over the holster at his thigh, ready to throw a kunai to protect someone dear to him.

But (Y/N) didn’t need his help. Tenzo’s heart bloomed while he watched how she defended herself gently, with words and gestures and explanations, calming her boyfriend to the point where she could reason with him again.

But the high feeling wouldn’t last. Tenzo listened to the conversation which followed and he froze when he had to listen to something which he wasn’t supposed to hear at all.

“I fell for someone else, yes. But that isn’t the reason, it was a symptom. Not that it matters, actually. There’s no way I could be with him, not after… Doesn’t matter.”

“I won’t say I’m not at fault for being blissfully blind and ignorant, for being not there when needed, for falling for someone I shouldn’t have fallen for.”

It was like someone punched him right in the guts. Suddenly, breathing became too hard, air became too cold, the wind blowing around his bare shoulders too harsh. She didn’t want him. She didn’t want him, didn’t see a little chance for him and her, maybe in the far, far future, when he wouldn’t be part of ANBU anymore and she could accept him somehow. (Y/N) said it loud and clear. Tenzo tried to close off his ears and heart, but then the worst of all exclamations came and the only thing he had left to escape the pain in his very being was to teleport himself into the nearby forest, running and running through the trees until the man would collapse from the exhaustion.

“Is he a good man?”

A little pause, and stillness. The silence said more than a thousand words could.

“I don’t know.”

#yamato x reader #yamato tenzo #YAMATO #Yamato Headcanons #tenzou #tenzo #anbu tenzo #tenzo headcanons #anbu #Anbu Black Ops #reader #reader insert #second person #Kinoe #OC #angst

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historicfailure · 6 years

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The next chapter! More grief, more self-induced angst and unfortunately, less Tenzo. :’( (But he comes back, there’s no denying that!)

After a day and night full of living nightmares, you wake up only to find someone willing to listen and to soothe your panicked, questioning mind.

You awoke to the soft crying of your mother and the quiet snores of your father. Blinking slowly, your eyes fluttered open, unseeing and unfocused. White. White everywhere. Such a stark contrast to the black of…

Your neck throbbed dully and your throat resembled a desert: dry and full of sand. When you opened your chapped lips, nothing came out, your tongue struggling and actually resisting against the words you tried to form.

When your arms twitched underneath the stiff blanket, your mother, who had hidden her face behind her hands, looked upwards and met your eyes. The skin around her slightly swollen eyes was red and when her hands dropped into her lap, new tears flowed freely down.

“(Y/N!)”

Her soft scream woke your father up, who blinked confused only to show one of his rare, honest and wide smiles. The skin around his eyes was also suspiciously red. “Oh, thank the heavens you’re awake.” He groaned lowly and rubbed harshly over his face, before your father shook his head. “What happened to you?”

Your mother nodded. Her tears were still silently falling. “We-We found you in the forest and you bleed so much! You’re really lucky to be alive, sweetie. That was also what the doctors said.”

“Where’s…?” you asked, but your father brushed, with a suddenly stony face your unfinished question, aside.

“Don’t exhaust yourself,” he said and wiped some of your strands out of your sweaty forehead, “Sleep for now. We will stay with you.”

You nodded, not knowing what to say otherwise. So, did that really happen? Had Kinoe really tried to kill you? No, that couldn’t…

The memories rushing into your head when you gave in to the sleep suddenly claiming you proved otherwise. Kinoe did what you never would’ve thought of him. Acted like a puppet, killed the child in his soul and almost -almost- killed you along with himself. A cold shower rained down your back at the memory.

Your sleep was haunted by more cruel, bright memories of the last, terrible second you looked into Kinoe’s black eyes. The moment you felt the kunai slicing your skin, carving a deep line into your neck, blood running down and leaving your body. The feeling of being utterly betrayed, being left alone and behind, on that clearing, in the cold, cold grass, twitching and convulsing in your supposedly last breaths you would ever take.

You awoke with a gasped scream and your mother instantly asked if everything was alright, her clothes wrinkled from the hours she already spent in the hospital room and the remains of a strong coffee clinging to her clothes.

That moment, the realization really crashed into you. Kinoe hurt you, hurt you and nearly killed you for an order, given by an old man who seemed to be more important than you. The order -the words, the order to kill- was more important to a shinobi than a liked one. A loved one. More worth and more important than a friend pleading to stay alive, begging and crying silently for help.

Shinobi were like that. Shinobi acted like that. No emotion was allowed to come in their way when there was an order taking place. Nothing would stop them, not family, not friends, not a single loved one.

Kinoe hurt you. And didn’t do anything to help.

For the first time since you woke up after the attack, the tears streamed down your face and you threw yourself with a low cry into the arms of your mom, the fresh wound at your neck puckering and throbbing with every breath you took. That was enough for your mother to break into tears once more and when your father came back, his hands closed around two cups of weak coffee, and saw the waterfalls streaming down the faces of his two girls, he carefully settled them on a nearby table and joined the group hug.

It was the warmest and at the same time loneliest moment you ever had in your whole, short life.

Weeks passed by and only slowly, your childish body regained its previous strength and agility. The nurses told you in gentle voices that you lost a lot of blood and therefore, your lack of energy was explainable. Your parents would visit every day, bringing books, plushies and paper with pencils, talking with you about the changes in the nature and their work, how quiet the forest had become and that the animals weren’t coming out anymore, that winter was close…

While you wished stupidly for someone else to come through the door, knowing he would never come and that you were dead to him. Hour for hour, you stared outside, watching how the starting fall winds rattled at the trees and how the green of the leaves turned from one day to another, from yellow and red, to orange and brown, only to fall and leave the trees naked. Night for night, you were awoken by terrible nightmares of black eyes and silver knives, screaming and flailing until the night nurse came in and soothed you back into a restless sleep. Day for day, you hoped and at the same time dreaded for the door to your room to open and reveal Kinoe, with his long, brown hair and the same, special eyes.

Fear became your constant companion, a stone in your guts. It weighed you down, heavy and cold in the deepest depths of your stomach. Smiles were unthinkable and whenever you felt the tiniest bit happy, the scar at your neck started to burn, reminding you of the times you were laughing and smiling because of the one who attacked you.

Where happiness was before, reigned the overbearing panic of a dark shadow always looming behind your back. Whenever there was a sudden sound, you jerked away from it, tears already dwelling in your eyes and close to screaming out. For a long time, you could only sleep when there was an adult in the room. The night nurse responsible for the station where you were resting at did most of that part, catching up on some paperwork or knitting a scarf for one of her own children waiting for her at her home. To the soothing sound of the needles clicking together, you would fall into a light, uneasy sleep.

Your mind was broken. You weren’t innocent any longer. Nothing was like before, all of it turned upside down by nearly bleeding out on the clearing, by the hand of someone you had considered a friend. And more. So much, much more.

You loved him. No, you had loved Kinoe. He was dead. All what was left of him was a Kinoe-like shell, walking around and taking orders, following them to the bitter end and beyond that. Night for night, whenever you awoke from the recurring nightmare of being cut apart by a puppet-like Kinoe, you had to tell yourself that. Kinoe was dead. Your Kinoe, your friend and more, the boy who taught you to skip a stone over the river…

He was dead.

Everything else would be unbearable.

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The sun rose on a clear blue sky, promising a bright and nice, warm fall day, with colorful leaves falling to the ground and an occasional chilly breeze cutting through the clothes of the people outside. You didn’t feel it. Instead of going to work, you shuffled only deeper under the blanket of your bed, hiding away in the darkness and coziness. Ants were still running over your skin, making you shiver and shudder, and your scar burned still, after hours and hours of silent weeping and panicked gasping for air.

Kinoe is Tenzo. Tenzo is Kinoe. I fell twice for the same boy, for the same man, fell twice for someone who tried to kill me.

Rapidly blinking the rising tears away, you raised the blanket over your head and sunk into the merciful, forgiving shadows. Tenzo, Tenzo, Tenzo. Tenzo, the ANBU. Your ANBU, the one who was gentle and nice and friendly. Kinoe, the boy, the emotionless boy, who followed orders without a second thought and had no ideas what human’s feelings were.

You couldn’t. You just couldn’t combine such differing personalities into one person, squeeze and squish them together into one personality. It was too difficult, too taxing for your panicked mind, who was in a daze at the discovery of falling in love -again- with someone who had tried to hurt you.

Correction. Someone who tried to kill me.

Tenzo wouldn’t… Tenzo wouldn’t do this.

But he did. He did. He fucking did.

You let an emotionless puppet yet again, close again, after learning your lesson in the cruelest way possible. Another tool in the hands of the village, another meat shield who would throw himself into the attack of an enemy without a second thought for his loved ones at home.

He would’ve killed you in your sleep if he would’ve gotten the according order. Shuddering, you started yet again, to cry. Your teeth lodged deeply into your bottom lip and restraining the mighty sobs wrecking through your ribcage, curling into a small ball. Your throat was raw from all the earlier crying, your eyes felt swollen to the point of hurting slightly and still, at the thought of being attacked like that once more, your inner child broke free, together with the tears which you hadn’t had the chance to release yet.

Back then, you only cried heavily that one time, with your parents around you and in their security. Back then, in the hospital, alone and sitting stiffly in the strange, hard and too big hospital bed, you only stared blindly at the walls and felt the tears building up, but they never fell.

Today, being confronted with the heartbreak from back then and the heartbreak from now, the tears fell freely and without any restraint. They fell for the child you had been, innocent and with big, blue eyes, looking bravely and yet naively into the world and trusting a boy without a real name from the very first second. You cried for Kiyoshi, who had no idea what happened in his own home, who was far, far away from Konoha and lived his life to the fullest. You cried for your relationship; this abandoned, wrecked and broken ship, unloved and to some extent even unwanted. And yes, a part of you cried for Tenzo and Kinoe, even when the fear still coiled like a bundle of poisonous snakes in your stomach and tightened around your heart. The boy who you fell in love with and the man who managed again to sneak behind the walls and prejudices you built to avoid getting close to a “dangerous” individual.

Sometime, in between the cries and silent sobs muffled in the by now positively wet fabric of your pillow, you fell asleep, curled up like a child and still clothed into the same things you wore when Tenzo revealed the terrible truth.

Your dreams were filled with uncertainty, the taste of blood coating your tongue and Kinoe’s black eyes dancing around you, staring and judging, assessing the worth of your feelings and deeming them worthless. No clear pictures, no replays of the horror of the past. Just... blurred lines and mist hanging over the colors.

Waking up consisted of teary eyes and lying in bed for ten unnecessary minutes, before you turned on your other side and closed them once more. You didn’t have the nerves to deal with other problems than your own right now. No blood, no broken bones and no operations. Just tears, your bed and the comfortable warmth of something which wouldn’t betray you at all costs.

You shuffled deeper into the cushions, already sniffling and with a blurry curtain hanging before your vision. Before you knew it, the tears dwelling in your eyes started to fall once more and you dried them in your pillow, while your nose slowly blocked from all your renewed crying and your throat roughing up from the same course.

You didn’t go to work. Instead of appearing in the hospital for another, long and dragged out shift under the bossy attitude of an egotistical woman who did nothing but shove the hardest parts of her job on other people, you closed your eyes again and drifted off into a shallow, nervous sleep. More than once, you woke up, mouth parted in a silent wail and feeling the sharp edge of a kunai pressing to your neck and the aged voice of Tenzo whispering of dark and terrible fantasies into your ear.

The scar at your neck tingled uncomfortably, almost aching from the earlier nightmare. On instinct, you touched the tickling tissue, drew the slightly rough patch with your fingertips. Nothing happened. The tingle didn’t lessen, the windows or door didn’t burst open and didn’t spill a bloodthirsty ANBU into your bedroom, weapon brandished and fury in his black eyes.

Tenzo would never…

Slowly, you shook your head. Nose and wet eyes ruffled over the rough fabric of the pillow, spread more liquid and nasty fluids over the surface. Some of the disgusting mix was wiped into other parts of your face and you scrunched your nose automatically.

Your stomach grumbled loudly. No breakfast today, no dinner yesterday. It was time to eat something, even when it was only a single, small apple.

With a lot of effort, inaudible grunting and heavy sighs you propped yourself upwards and stumbled into the kitchen, yawning and grabbing a thick, wooly jacket from the nearby stool. You avoided to look at the chair too closely. It was too real, the image of the dark shadow looming in front of your window and sitting on said chair too clear before your inner eye to face the memory at the moment.

Blindly, you stumbled into the kitchen. Without your notice, your hands started to move, preparing a small breakfast, all the while your thoughts were still numbly circling around the painful truth Tenzo revealed. He was Kinoe. He tried to kill you. You shoved him away, scared, scared, scared…

In the middle of pouring milk into the bowl of cereal, your fingers lost their strength. A ‘thud’, a crack and the carton of milk fell on the counter, spilling milk everywhere. With a hiss, you jumped backwards, away from the mess you created with your thoughtlessness.

“Fuck!” Gritting your teeth, you grabbed a nearby tea towel and threw it into the puddle of milk, which still spilled slowly out of the carton. Some of it even dripped on the floor by now, assembling close to your toes into another, unsightly puddle.

Quickly, you pulled the by now half-empty carton upright, while shoving the overfilled bowl further over the counter, all the while cursing weakly under your breath for being such a stupid hag. “Just grab tightly onto the goddamn thing, you idiot! Is it that hard for you to even make breakfast once in a while? Goddammit, fucking bullshit!”

Frustrated, you stared at the mess. You were so close to abandon the kitchen, to just let the milk dry on the counter and the bowl with it. But then, an old instinct taking over, you sighed deeply, counted to ten and started to clean up sluggishly.

With every swipe of the tea towel over the puddle, your mind clouded more and more over. And when you accidentally glanced at the still broken coffee machine, the hole of the kunai ripped open and revealing the broken insides, the scar at your neck flashed brightly up. A wince was born on your face and you jerked away from the machine sitting innocently on the counter, one hand raised to cover the scar, the other balled into a tight fist.

But when you turned around to flee back into your bedroom, you stopped dead in your tracks. Even though Tenzo wasn’t here anymore, remedies of the man were still sprawled all over the curfew. A jar of cookies on the coffee table. Two cups drying on the drying rack right beside the sink. The curtains of the window where the man used to enter pulled ajar and the sun spilling inside the room. The small rag right before the window where Tenzo used to place his sandals to not bring all the dirt into your home.

Small, almost insignificant things. And still, your heart started to ache when your eyes caught sight of them. Hurting, throbbing, burning. Scorching your heart out with every breath tagging through your too tight chest. Swarmed with sudden panic and overwhelming sadness, you shook your head and sunk to your knees. Your legs wouldn’t carry you anymore. They let you down, like you let Tenzo-!

First, it was only a whimper. Weak and a pained groan, more like the sound of a hurt dog than anything else. It had lived in your chest for the last hours and when the notes trailed through the air, you almost felt lighter.

But you didn’t.

A scream followed, hollering and growing stronger and stronger with every second. Shaking and trembling on your knees, you hugged yourself, trying to restrict the scream of crawling out, but it fell. Fell and fell and fell, vibrated in the air and echoed between the walls. New tears, heavy and burning and foul streamed down your face, soaking in the hems of your jacket when they met the fabric and nape of your neck. Blindly, you stared at the ceiling, all the while your voice broke, grew hoarse and finally gave out from the terrible, terrifying scream of poor suffering which had lived inside of your soul for decades now. With a last gasp, your dry lips closed and your vision fell to the ground right in front of your knees.

You had no idea for whom you were crying now. There was nothing left to cry over, just the barren, war-torn lands of a once nearly healthy mindscape and the once happy, now blue-tinged memories of an innocent childhood.

(…)

A knock echoed through the flat. You were distantly aware of the coldness of the tiles, pressing against your cheek or the distant ache of your joints and bones. For some long minutes, you continued to stare blindly into the darkness, until a second knock rung loudly in your ears.

I have to go. Need to answer the door.

No. Let it be. Don’t care.

But I have to. Someone waits there.

Nothing matters. Sleep.

A third knock and a belonging shout made you finally sit up fully, eyes bleary and face uncomfortably swollen from another round of heavy crying. “(Y/N)? Are you in there!?”

Chie. It was Chie’s voice. Chie’s frantic knocking and Chie’s growing worry, nearly penetrating the wood of the door and the physical distance between her and you.

A look outside of the window and you knew what was up and why your colleague was panicking. The night faded away, the first hues of a new day spread in your living room and basked the surroundings into a soft, warm light.

In the back of your mind, you already knew it would be a perfect fall day. Warm yet windy, full of bight, lively colors and a nice, cool breeze chasing the leaves over the ground and taking them up into the air for a little ride.

Instinctively, you wrapped your arms tighter around your body.

“(Y/N)!?” This time, Chie banged her fists again on the thin wood of the door. “(Y/N), are you in there!?”

“…Here.” The word fell from your chapped and dry lips like sand. Too weak, too thin. You coughed, your throat tight and hurting, then spoke up again and this time, you actually had the feeling you would be heard. “I’m here.”

“(Y/N)!” You winced at the relieved squeal Chie let out, all the while stumbling through the living room on naked feet. “Thank god, I thought something happened when you didn’t show up to your shift!”

Your steps faltered, only a few meters parting you from the entrance. Something happened. Yeah. Something big and scary happened, meaningful and hurting to the point of breaking your heart into tiny little pieces. Unbeknownst to you, your nose scrunched up slightly and the frown tugging at your lips turned into a full-grown scowl.

Tenzo was Kinoe. Kinoe tried to kill you. Tenzo tried to kill you all those years ago, saw you at the hospital and decided to steal your love once more.

With gritted teeth and new tears burning their way up into your eyes (seriously, you turned slowly but surely into a fountain!), you tugged the loose jacket closed, with the other hand reaching out and opening the door the tiniest bit.

On the outside stood Chie, her brown hair in a disarray of curls and strands curling around the base of her neck. The slender woman wore some of her most comfortable clothing, meaning she went straight from her nightshift at the hospital to your place.

A strange tug moved your heart. Chie cared so much for you she hurried over, when she must be also fatigued and beyond tired, and probably also desperate to see her loving husband. A last, deep breath in, then you opened the door further and let your colleague see the whole, entire mess you were.

One look at the reddened eyes, the swollen face, the wrinkled clothes and the all-in-all miserable state of yours truly, and Chie’s excited smile turned into a worried, almost motherly expression of care. Gently, her hand reached out and tugged you back inside your flat while the woman brushed past you. You let her lead you around, unwilling to think for yourself, not to talk about choosing your own way around your own turf.

Chie parked you on the couch and shuffled into the kitchen, rummaging through the cupboards in search for who-know-what, while you stared into the air and continued to ponder and wonder about the happenings of the last day.

Some time later, you had no idea how much time passed, Chie came back and settled down right beside you. The brunette looked at you, deep bags under her eyes and her hair pulled into a disheveled knot at the lower back of her head, only to gently tug at the sleeve of your warm jacket.

“Tell me what happened,” she said, using the same gentle tone she used with patients who didn’t have more than a week left to live.

You continued to stare blankly ahead, only the telltale burning of your eyes told about the new crash of grief into your fragile state. Only your fingers tightened into the soft fabric of your jacket, kneading and torturing the sleeves until the pain clawed into the slender bones.

Chie sighed loudly, stood again up and walked into the kitchen, where the water kettle was about to whistle. Soon, the slightly sweet scent of some kind of fruity tea filled the air, and when the brunette came back and placed the two cups on the low coffee table, you were gnawing on your lower lip, the pain soothing your mind.

At least, a little, a tiny bit.

Another sigh from your side. Thankfully, the other woman, who seemed to understand to some point that you needed the silent companion more than the sympathetic nurse, only calmly sipped at her tea.

The reprieve was temporary.

“You know,” Chie said clearly and leaned into the cushions of the couch, “I know we’re not best friends. Not that I haven’t tried though. I’m just saying, if you need to talk, if you need someone to listen, then I’m here.”

Oh shit.

You didn’t want to cry anymore. You cried too much during the last 24 hours, the throat raw and eyes puffy. And still, there was still something left, some tears, some residing melancholy, some sticking anger or even resentment. It was hard to differ at this point and you honestly didn’t have the willpower to do so.

Everything was confusing. Kinoe and Tenzo were the same. Tenzo, who cooked and baked and cared, tried to kill you so many years ago. Tried and failed. Failed and tried again. He came back, for what?

To break your heart.

Chie’s soothing voice made the lump in your throat bigger and you swallowed once more, trying to hold back the renewed flood. “Or don’t talk. That’s fine too. I just let you know that no matter how shit the things you experience seem to be, no matter how little you want to talk about them or how much you detest yourself for whatever you did. I’m not a judge. Never will be. I accept you like you are, with all the good and the bad, and everything in between. It changes nothing about the fact that I want to be there for my friends and you are my friend.”

Another deliberate sip at her tea and Chie continued, voice even and calm despite the fact you were heavily trembling right beside her, so close to another breakdown that you could feel the gates to your tears crumble with every breath. “I love you. You’re a great colleague, a hard worker. A passionate person. You love your work, obviously. And I admire that greatly. We helped each other out a lot while working. Now, I want you to trust me when I say that I will listen to you even when you’re not rambling about the head nurse and her unfair favoritism. I want you to know that I will listen to anything you have to say. I’m here, if you want that. For whatever you need me for.”

With wide, teary eyes, you blinked. Someone who wanted to listen? Someone who wanted to hear what happened to make you into this pathetic, crying mess?

Unfazed by the heavy words she just uttered, Chie continued to sip occasionally at her tea. Her eyes darted around, inspected the living room with the sharp eyes of a hawk. They took every little detail in, so it seemed, from the little mess in the kitchen to the still impeccable windows, cleaned by the bloody hands of a ruthless murderer.

Calm, like a lake in the middle of the forest. Sniffling slightly, you glanced at your colleague -your friend- before your bottom lip started to tremble and the tears once more blurred the clear lines in your vision. A last, muffled sob, buried deeply in your chest, before the one after that broke through your pitiful defenses like a hammer through a bone.

You hated yourself for crying that much. It made you feel weak, pitiful, pathetic. Like you reverted back to your childish self, asking herself what she did wrong to deserve such treatment from a friend over and over again, alone in the night and while her parents chatted about their day.

Now, aged and wiser, you knew it wasn’t your fault. Not your fault for being at the wrong time in the wrong place, for befriending someone more dangerous than they appeared to be, for trusting someone who hadn’t deserved such unconditional trust only a child could harbor.

Tears, wet and hot, rolled down your face, leaving trails on your already swollen and reddened face. At first, you tried to silence them in the hem of your jacket, but when you felt the tentative hand on your upper arm, stroking gently up and down and so goddamn soothing, you threw yourself forward into Chie’s arms.

It felt better than to cry alone, with only the cold ground there to steady you. Not good, not at all. But better.

A deep, resonating hum vibrated through Chie while she continued to stroke over your back and you continued to ruin her clothing with your terrified sobs and salty tears. No restraints held you back from snuggling closer to the inviting warmth you desperately craved, no borders of long-taught social standards and manners held you back from staining Chie’s clothing with your snot. What counted were the warmth and the unconditional care the brunette emitted, the endless understanding and the absolute support behind every wordless gesture.

Chie wouldn’t turn on you. Chie wouldn’t go back on her word. Chie wouldn’t do that, because she was loyal and friendly and Chie.

Your throat was raw and eyes nearly closed by the swelling of your extended crying when you felt empty enough to stop depending on Chie’s strength. Sluggishly, you loosened the embrace around your friend, wiped the last bits of disgusting snot and tears away and nodded once with weak determination.

“I’m finished.”

To your embarrassment, Chie shook her head, the understanding spark in her eyes burning you with her sympathy. “Not quite, I’m afraid. I want to know what happened. What’s wrong? Why the waterfalls?”

There were no more tears left to shed. Not more, not less. The breath hitching in your throat was quickly subsided and suppressed, the icy shiver of a dark premonition running over your back went by without a consequence and you swallowed thickly, before the words started to fall from your lips, slow but steady.

“It goes way back. Way, way back. Apparently, I met Tenzo before I “met” him and that was in my childhood…”

While you explained, the hoarse rasp of your voice vanished, the uncomfortable blocked nose became free again and your back straightened, until you found yourself leaning back into the cushions of the couch, both hands wrapped around the still warm porcelain of the now empty mug wrapping up the unlucky story how you fell twice for someone who tried to kill you back in the day.

“…after all of this,” you said and stared into the depths of the cup, “I never would’ve thought it would catch up to me again. I wanted to forget about everything, wanted to forget how the betrayal feels. Shoving everything as far away as I can. Too bad it came right back at me.”

Chie’s eyebrows had wandered higher and higher during your explanation. Her own tea was barely touched and probably ice cold by now, that enraptured the woman had been by your tale. With a little shake of her head, the brunette pulled herself back together and lifted the cup to her mouth, grimacing slightly when the cold drink touched her palate. “Okay. Okay, I think I get it. Tenzo was your childhood friend under a different name, who tried to kill you, right?”

“Yes.”

“And he made you fall for him twice?”

You gnawed at your lower lip. “I think so.”

“You think so? So, are you sure?”

“Not really.”

Chie waved dismissively. “Yeah, alright. That’s for later. But he tried to kill you, came back and wooed you until you confessed, he confessed back and when you told him you had a boyfriend all along, he comes right back at you and reveals his identity.” A yawn escaped her mouth and quickly, the brunette covered her wide-open lips with a single hand. “Sorry,” she mumbled and rubbed her eyes, “Long shift.”

“Coffee?”

“The one from hell, please.”

With a low grunt, you moved upwards. Your knees weren’t feeling weak, just like your body didn’t feel like you were riddled with a flu anymore. It felt better, lighter and a bit like the world wasn’t as dark and grey as before. Not much, but a little, tiny bit lighter.

A ray of sunshine, so to speak.

Only when you set your eyes on the broken coffee machine, the gaping hole in the shape of a kunai laughing at you, another cold shower rained down your back. Muted, still there, still disturbing. It reminded you of the morning the incident happened, the disheveled hair of Tenzo peeking over the armrest of the couch, the apologetic words and the nervousness radiating from the masked man.

How come that this memory wasn’t tainted by the fear carrying through the years? He and Kinoe were the same, the same person under different names. He threw a kunai right past you; one miscalculation and Tenzo could have lodged the same knife which pierced through the metal of the coffee machine like nothing into your spine, killing you on the spot.

So, how come you weren’t feeling threatened when remembering the exact moment the kunai whizzed past you? Why not feeling angry when you realized you had to buy a new coffee machine?

“Oh.” When Chie’s hand landed on your shoulder and squeezed gently, you were still staring at the menacing hole. “I forgot about that. Guess it’s only hot chocolate for me.”

“Mhmm.” You hummed, still staring blindly at the coffee machine. Buying a new one was necessary. Only fair, only right in the face of the dim decision you made. Even though whatever mess it was between you and the ANBU, the relationship with Kiyoshi was dead and wouldn’t get back to life. It had been dead for some time and would stay buried, no matter what happened otherwise in your life.

It was the least you could do before being the most horrible person in his life, breaking up with Kiyoshi before he even fully set his bag on the ground of your shared flat.

A weak cough caught your attention and when you looked at Chie, her eyebrows were nearly dancing on her forehead, that fast she wiggled them with an almost gleeful expression on her face. “See? Telling me wasn’t too bad, right?”

You needed a second, before the realization clicked into your mind. A shallow nod was her answer, but that didn’t stop Chie from rambling on, while her quick fingers worked on distributing some cocoa powder she found in one of the drawers into your second favorite mug. “Geez, my legs are asleep. It certainly has been a long way for you to where you are now, that’s for sure. Evolving into a long-ass story.”

“Certainly.”

“Everything’s alright?”

“I think. Thanks.”

“No worries. Do you also want some hot cocoa?”

A little smile flashed over your face. “Yes, I think I would like that.”

Chie’s laugh was infectious enough to bring another, remaining smile to your lips. “Aah, I can hear it. You’re definitely feeling better than before. Told you so, talking about what’s troubling you is therapeutic to some point.”

“And the rest of the therapy?”

Sunlight filtered through the nearby window and met the simple golden band wrapped around her right ring finger as Chie dragged another cup closer and started to dump spoons of brown powder into the porcelain. “Ranting, if you like. A little walk outside. My hubby has some free time and his inspirational speeches may be overflowing with strange symbolism and metaphoric exclamations, but he’s pretty good at cheering people up. If you want to, you can even challenge him to something of your choice. Or finally teach him how to make coffee.”

The exasperated grimace on her face told more than any words could.

Leaning forward, you shoved the last bits of the dark clouds still looming in your mind away. Not far enough to forget, but just enough to ignore them for a bit. Maybe the forgetting-part would come along, too. “That bad?”

Chie jumped on the chance and you listened, enjoying with a satisfaction you nearly never experienced her rants about her Gai and the absolute horrendous coffee he would apparently make from time to time, exclaiming it was good to amp up her “youth”, whatever he meant with that.

Somewhere along the line, you found yourself with your legs tucked away underneath your body on the couch again, Chie sitting right beside you in a similar fashion. Both of you held your third round of hot chocolate and were on a good road to round number four, all the while giggling about the antics of the infamous copy ninja Kakashi Hatake, who disliked needles and regular check-ups so much that he tried to shorten his stays at the Konoha Hospital as soon as he wasn’t in the danger of bleeding out any longer.

“I swear,” the brunette threw her hands into the air, still minding the hot beverage in her grip, “if I ever find another ridiculous scarecrow he scraped together as a decoy in his place again, I’m done. He should know better than this! I can easily make his life a living hell! I’m married to his best friend!”

“His loud and obnoxious best friend, you mean.”

“Yeah…” Then, to your inner turmoil, a mischievous shadow flashed over Chie’s features. “And he’s also loud elsewhere, if you know what I mean.”

Groaning, you let your head drop backwards. “It’s too early for bad, sexual innuendos. Come on, gimme a break.”

“There’s always a time for sexual innuendos,” Chie said proudly, “Especially for big and fat-! Okay, that’s even too raunchy for me. Scratch the last bit.”

“Already did. From my memory, it is.” You sighed lowly out.

Silence fell over you two. Just comfortable, friendly and supportive silence between friends. Friends… Since you started working in the hospital, you didn’t have the time for any social contacts outside of work and even those casual bonds were not that tightly knotted to be really secured friendships. What Chie did for you today, however, catapulted her directly into that specific category.

The brunette snorted into her beverage. “Thank god. Wouldn’t want to taint my holy, saint-like image just because of that.” Another pause and this time, you just knew she was up to say something you wouldn’t particularly like. And she did, her serious eyes serious and hands clamped around the mug that her knuckles turned slightly brighter.

“What are you going to do now?”

Yes. What now? A question so many people asked themselves. For seven years, you never bothered to even think about it. It had been painfully easy. Work, grocery shopping, talking to Kiyoshi, more work and even longer shifts, less talking to Kiyoshi and even less times where you and your boyfriend would indulge into something as simple as sex. Seven years of routine, seven years of the same day, playing over and over without you realizing.

“I will…” you drawled slowly, “I think I will take a few more days off and pack my stuff. And mentally prepare myself for Kiyoshi’s arrival. Have to look for a couch to surf on for the next week, just until I can find something else.”

Breaking up with Kiyoshi wouldn’t be easy. It would be an enormous change, a hurdle to overcome, but also a release. Even though Tenzo wasn’t an option, staying with Kiyoshi would do more harm in the end than leaving. It would be better for both of you, after a while of thinking and living with the changes.

“It won’t be easy, I’m aware of that. Everything. Transition period will be hard as hell. Growing accustomed to live alone again, shopping for myself, cooking for myself, being without someone I can rely on one hundred percent… So… Yeah, it won’t be easy.” You ended slowly and stared into the depths of your own mug. The smudges of chocolate which didn’t dissolve in the milk painted dark streaks on the ground and you intently followed the lines around the round of the porcelain.

Gently, Chie slid over the couch and nudged your shoulder with hers. When you glanced at the brunette, how she smiled brightly and looked so confident and secure at you, the dark clouds eased up and the hints of a sun seemed to filter through your mind. “Hey. I’m pretty confident Hatake won’t be out of the hospital for a little while and Gai and I have a free guest room with a comfy bed. If you want,” she gestured lightly, “you can stay with us. As long as you want, of course.”

What? Confused, you blinked. Once, twice, three times. Then, you cocked your head. “What?”

Chie giggled like a school girl announcing to her friends she would throw a sleepover party for the whole school and her parents wouldn’t be present. “I said, we have a free bed and space for you. Stay with my hubby and me for a while, just until you found a new flat. But be prepared, he often brings his students over for dinner, so it gets a little bit crammed sometimes and the meals are always pretty loud, but-!”

You didn’t break into a new flood of tears. Proud that you kept the suspiciously salty liquid at bay. You didn’t know what to say, to be completely honest. So instead of saying something missing the emotional mark for sure, you only leaned over and embraced Chie in a tight hug. Your chin rested on her shoulder, your arms were looped underneath hers and when you only nodded slowly, you could feel how the brunette -your friend- returned the embrace with the gentleness of someone who was just as overthrown by wild emotions as you.

There was no need for a “thank you”, muffled in Chie’s slightly shaking shoulder. Not yet, at least. Later, when you really would be able to process what happened. Now, there was only space for the silent thankfulness you were only able to show with the almost desperate hug.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Five days. That was how much time was left before you had to face Kiyoshi. And you used these five days down to every minute. Packing your stuff into luggage, cleaning your shared home which wouldn’t be a home to you any longer, sorting things out you would throw away later on to avoid useless baggage to drag around. You kept yourself busy, exhausting your body that your restless mind would shut up in the night when you fell onto the bed which would be no longer yours when all of this would be over. But still. The dreams kept coming, sneaked up and hit when you were defenseless, in naps in between or deep in the night.

Sometimes, you couldn’t even remember properly what happened in the shadowy landscapes of your dreams. One second, you were dreaming and you were aware of that, the next second, you would stare at the dark ceiling and thought there was someone in the same space, watching you from the darkest corner of the room. You would sit up and rub your eyes, glaring into the darkness and waiting for someone to appear. But no body peeled itself from the shadows, no white mask blinked in the weakening moonlight, no bell ringing in your head.

Sometimes, you would remember your dreams and you always wished you wouldn’t. Mostly, you dreamed about the bloody fallout of your childhood, the very moment Kinoe slit your throat open with a dead expression on his features. Some other times, the dreams were a strange mix-up of the child Kinoe, who screamed and trashed in invisible binds, while an adult Tenzo held the kunai to your throat, obviously struggling to move even one muscle. And then, one time which was the clearest in your mind after all those nightmarish dreams, because it was so different from all the dark themes.

Tenzo lying on a wide field of grass. The green and brown of the earth, and nature around him complimented his own temperament, the color of his skin, accentuated the colorless uniform of an ANBU. He laughed wildly, the brown, shaggy hair mixing with the small, wild flowers and the arms spread to reach as far out as he could. To you, who watched from a point farther away and the warm, content feeling rising in your stomach, it was the epitome of happiness.

The one light dream out of all the dark ones was still clear before your vision when the morning of the fateful day creeped up on you. Anxiously, you dressed yourself in some semi-comfortable clothing. Most of your bags were already at Chie’s and Gai’s big house in the outskirts of Konoha, almost hugged by the forest and therefore, pleasantly familiar in terms of surrounded by green and nature. You would certainly enjoy spending your free hours when you wouldn’t be busy searching for a new home discovering the surroundings and taking some long, relaxed walks.

Like you hadn’t done in years.

One last time, you stood up from the bed you shared for seven years with Kiyoshi. One last time, you stripped your blanket and the pillow from the sheets. One last, goddamn time, you pulled open the fridge and looked inside it, deciding what to eat for this confrontation you weren’t prepared for at all. When you came upwards with the milk, your eyes fell on the renewed, noticeably smaller coffee machine you got a few days ago. No hole, all blinking steel and fancy explanations the seller threw at you until you finally spent more money than you wanted on this thing. Sleek, slimmer than the one before and with a lot of functions you didn’t even try to understand.

Kiyoshi would like it for sure.

Absentmindedly, you went through the well-known motions of preparing the bowl of breakfast cereals and like so often during the last days, whenever your mind wasn’t completely occupied by a taxing task, your thoughts drifted elsewhere.

To Tenzo. To Kinoe. And to the scaring memory of the old man.

With the distance of a few days in between, you could look at the happenings a little bit calmer than before. Still, your heart pounded a little bit faster in your chest when thinking about Tenzo’s hands on your body. Not the good kind of heart pounding. Cold sweat broke out, tainted your back and palms and shivers ran down your spine faster than you could lower the milk back to the counter to sling your arms around yourself.

But it also wasn’t as strong as before, when you thought of him as another crazed, love-desperate ANBU, who flung himself on the next best nurse who showed only a hint of care.

Why? You had no idea. You should be even more scared now, knowing Tenzo had tried to kill you once and now knew where you lived, where you slept! He could easily come in one day when he finally decided to finish what he started all those years ago!

Well, that wouldn’t be a problem anymore when you moved only temporarily to Chie and Gai. For any other kind of trying to find out where you would live after that, Tenzo had to go to uncomfortable, official lengths and if he didn’t do that, the officials would find out. At least, you tried to tell that yourself.

He’s an ANBU. If he ever leaves any trace when searching for information on the unofficial way, he sucks at his job.

That isn’t helping!

And? It’s true. You know it.

I have to be calm for Kiyoshi! If the first thing he sees when he comes home is a sobbing and mumbling girlfriend who screams into his face she fell in love with someone else but can’t be together with him, then he will be disturbed for sure! He will call for the hospital and ask if they will send me to the other patients with illusions and crazy tendencies!

The issue wasn’t resolved at all and something deep in your mind told you that there would be a final confrontation between you and the ANBU. If deadly or not… Only time would tell.

You sighed deeply and started to eat. Despite the milk, the cereal felt like sand on your tongue, raw and scratching in your mouth. After you managed to choke three or four spoons down, you pushed the rest of your breakfast around and watched how the previously hard cereal softened and mashed together into a disgusting, wet mess.

Kiyoshi would come home today. Sometime, you had no idea when exactly. It could be now or in a few minutes, in a few hours or in the very evening, the moon long risen and clouds covering the stars…

A knock rapped through the flat. Hard and unforgiving.

Instantly, you shoot straight up. Iron was shoved into your spine, panic coiling in your stomach like a bundle of poisonous, dead snakes. Why was Kiyoshi already here!? Did they travel through the night?

Hastily, you combed through your hair, all the while the panic kindled into a cold, sick pressure. You felt like puking, you felt like breaking, you felt like absolutely not opening that door, thank you very much with cherries on top. Before the entrance, you dried off your sweaty palms at your pants and swallowed hard. What would happen? Would Kiyoshi take it calmly, without a big fuzz? Or would you have to bear first some ridiculed stares, then unbelieving exclamations?

What would be the worst? What would make you feel even more miserable than currently? One last, reassuring inhale, then you shaking hand closed around the handle of the door. One very last exhale and you slowly inched the entrance open, head lowered and not daring to look first into Kiyoshi’s hopeful eyes and averting the last “Welcome back”-kiss.

“Okay, why the long face?” Chie shook her head, arms crossed over her chest. She was obviously on a tour of grocery shopping; big, fat bags stood at her feet, overloaded with different vegetables, fruits, boxes, packages and a little bouquet of flowers. Lilies of the Valley, if you had memorized the page about highly poisonous plants correctly. “Just wanted to check up on you. Everything alright?”

The last breath escaped your lungs and another one followed, releasing more and more of the tension in your stomach and shoulders. You slumped against the doorframe and wheezed once, before throwing a weak smile at your friend. “Thanks for that. But I had nearly a heart attack from that.”

“Nervous?”

“Only a tiny little bit?” A laugh escaped, high and shaking in your anxiety. “I’m even more nervous than in the minutes before my first night shift alone on the ANBU station.”

At that, the brunette snorted. “Okay, must be really bad then. Need some moral support until Kiyoshi arrives?”

“I don’t think so-!”

Steps in the staircase. Heavy, loud ones, like a person had to bear a load of bags and boxes to bring onto an upper level. Chie stared at you, eyes wide and mouth slightly open. The shock was clearly drawled all over her features, probably similar to your own expression.

Was that Kiyoshi? Was it really him? That early?

The steps edged closer and heavy exhales could be heard. Then, a frighteningly familiar jet-black crown of hair peeked over the rail of the stairs, closely followed by the features you knew for seven years and which brightened into a wide, almost blinding smile when they spotted you in the door, apparently waiting for him.

“(Y/N)!” Excitedly, the man climbed the last steps up to the floor. The dirt of the street was clinging to his clothes and over the month, he had lost his long hair. Single curls hung into his forehead and the longer strands fell into his neck, but nothing more. A backpack hung from one shoulder, the other hand was occupied with his duffel bag. He dropped the bag and ignoring Chie, brushed past your friend and embraced you in a tight hug before you could do more than blink. “The month was too long! I missed you so much!”

Paralyzed, you couldn’t do more than blink. You could only watch how Chie, a bit miffed she was ignored, grabbed her own bags and waved at you with a supportive and at the same time, resolute nod directed at Kiyoshi’s back, before descending the stairs like she lived in your house for seven years and not you.

You were on your own now. The blood rushed loudly in your ears as you wiggled carefully out of Kiyoshi’s tight embrace, like water fell from a high cliff and into a lake. You could hear nothing but the words which vibrated through your skull, formed by your own tongue and your own teeth, heavy and fateful.

Even Kiyoshi, the happy and cheerful blind and deaf person he was regarding conflict and tension, noticed the sudden change. His grin faded, the corners of his mouth fell and the eyes lost their excited sparkle while you fidgeted on the spot, kneading your hands into the edges of your shirt and staring at a point behind your boyfriend, wondering how you would survive the confrontation without breaking into tears.

“Kiyoshi? I’m sorry, but… Just… Just come in. I think we have to talk.”

#YAMATO #yamato tenzo #yamato x reader #tenzou #tenzo #anbu tenzo #Anbu Black Ops #anbu #reader insert #reader #angst #OC #second pov #Naruto Shippuden #naruto

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wind-becomes-lightning · 2 years

Text

Power play

Day 5 :) This is cute shit very cute shit boob. I once drew Sayuri in the Hokage outfit (boob) and sora in the anbu outfit (boobie)

Uchiha Sayuri & Sarutobi Sora, info shit.

Kakashi x OC & Yamato | Tenzou x OC

3571 words

Rated G

for @narutoocshipweek Day 5: Dress up & Outfit swap

“It’s not you that’s handsome anyway,” she spits out. “It’s that black uniform of yours that makes you look handsome. If they would see you without it they’d think I made a bad match. And if they’d see me in it they would also think I’m hot.”

She does not have to see Kakashi to know he is grinning: “Is that so?”

“Yeah and I can prove it to you”, she says, hand pulling into a fist. He just replies with a muffled: “Well then” and turns to another page.

“Did you know that the ladies in the secretaries office mumble about how good looking you are when they think you are not listening?'', Sayuri asks one evening, feet up on the table in the living room, back laying down. It's this sort of behaviour she would scold her children for, but that she still does herself when noone is around to scold her for it.

Kakashi giggles without putting the book down he is holding: “Well, I guess I am handsome then.” He says it to tease her, she knows. Kakashi has never been someone that was really interested in looks, not his, not others. But he knows her moods well enough to know that she does care.

“They said it's a shame you are married”, Sayuri says, wiggling her toes on the table. He scoffs. “Guess they think I don’t fit you…,” her voice trails off with her head falling sideways. Konoha was always her hometown, but she had been gone for so long that now she was welcomed back like a stranger. So not everybody was excited to have the beloved and admired Copy-nin marry an outsider. It stings when she is honestly thinking about it.

Unfazed by this, Kakashi continues moving pages in his book. This is a non-issue for him, so he doesn’t even dignify it with an answer. Sayuri however can’t keep her emotions down low and the sting of dismissal turns to anger in her throat.

She does not have to see Kakashi to know he is grinning: “Is that so?”

“Yeah and I can prove it to you”, she says, hand pulling into a fist. He just replies with a muffled: “Well then” and turns to another page.

***

For most people that are not out on missions Sunday’s are free days in Konoha. Only essential shops are open for shopping and only essential personnel are needed in office buildings and the hospital. Generally, that would mean that families have an opportunity to spend a day together, but unfortunately Kakashi, as Hokage, is seen as an essential personnel and therefore always expected at the office. No matter the day or time or if there are family birthdays.

However, right from the beginning Kakashi refused to play by that rule. Taking his kids with him and staying home from work whenever he felt like it. People knew where he lived, even if the Hatake compound was a little ways off the city, so they could catch him at home. He had some sleeping to do.

The perfect time for Sayuri to sneak out of the bed before he woke and collect all the clothes he had carefully folded on top of his drawer was therefore a sunday. He obviously had some spare versions of his Hokage outfit, but he had a good eye for what was at the right place and what was not, so Sayuri couldn’t just take a set away from him without him noticing.

Their conversation about his outfit was now two weeks past, but Sayuri did not forget about the plan to prove to him that no, people didn’t find him as handsome as they found his clothes pleasing to look at. The hypocrisy that she indeed did find him very handsome, at least when she had a moment to be honest with herself, did not cross her mind.

On this perfectly selected Sunday morning Sayuri therefore peels herself out of the bed and tiptoes down the hall to the bathroom, the stack of clothes under her arm. It is surprisingly much, especially the sweater and the vest are heavier than she anticipated. In the bathroom she takes off her nightgown and throws on the undershirt that hangs over her chest like a tiny curtain. It is clearly all too big for her, but she has decided to go for it, so it needs to make due.

She has to pull up the trousers to her hips to keep them from falling down and then pull it close and tie it up tightly. The sweater falls over her arms like it is a little tent trying to consume her. Looking at herself in the mirror she realises how tiny she looks in the clothes. Kakashi is about 20 cm taller than her and even though he is not too bulky, has to wear larger sizes. Sayuri wiggles her arms around a little to see the sleeves fall over her hands, which makes her giggle quietly.

Then she picks up the vest. Even though Sayuri has returned to the village and changed her hitai-ate to a Konoha one, she is not yet back at doing missions and as such does not wear the standard Jounin-vest given for such occasions. So while she has undressed this particular hokage-vest more times than she can remember, she has no idea how to put it on correctly. It seems overwhelming how many little clips and strings it has to sit correctly and how heavy it is if you have to hold it up, especially if it is too big for you. Eventually she gets it over her chest and straps it close, realising with a swirl in front of the mirror that it does indeed look good, even on her and even a few sizes too big. It assures her in her “Kakashi-is-not-actually-handsome” theory - a theory she already knows is not true.

Lastly she forces her head through one of the skin tight masks and lets it snap shut over her nose. They are surprisingly easy to adjust to your facial type and sit perfectly tight for her too. No wonder that even Tsuki could easily steal and wear one though she was still very small. Sayuri breathes in and out to check how the air flow functions and that too is surprisingly easy. Whoever designed these for Kakashi truly had the life of a working, running, fighting shinobi in mind. The mask truly does not seem to get in the way.

One last spin around in front of the mirror to check her outfit from all sides and then Sayuri exits the bathroom once again to tiptoe back to the bedroom. It isn’t so easy to move anymore now that she has the pants on that are just a little too long, but she is skilled enough to not fall over her own feet. When she opens the door to the bedroom Kakashi is still sleeping, his cover long since fallen off and on the floor. He is wearing nothing but his own boxers and Sayuri's eyes wander to his shoulder muscles before she can stop herself. Not to get distracted now.

“Hatake Kakashi”, she says out loud in the most commanding dark voice she can muster. “Get up. The Sixth Hokage wants to see you.”

It takes everything in her not to start laughing loudly as Kakashi throws his eyes open and scrambles to sit himself up in bed. There it is, his Anbu training, she thinks and bites her own tongue to keep a straight face. Back straight but eyes still foggy, Kakashi lets his gaze wander through the room as if he can’t quite tell where he is. Then he blinks himself to reality. “What-” he asks and stops when his eyes fall on her. “The Hokage called me-?”

Has he forgotten that he is Hokage? Sayuri swallows a laugh and it sounds as if she is coughing. “I told you to get up”, she says again in that leader voice and Kakashi does without questioning the order. My God, Sayuri thinks, they really drilled that into him.

Kakashi blinks again and one more time and then finally she can see his eyes clearing up and the penny dropping behind them. “Sayuri” he states as a fact and she lets out the laugh she has been holding, giggling as quietly as she can. “You thought I was the actual Hokage” she gasps for air, “That’s so funny.”

“Well you pulled me out from a dream in which I was younger and it took me a little to… what are you wearing?” Kakashi now notices the oversized clothes hanging down her arms and legs. Sayuri does a little bow and then steps forward so that he can inspect her closer. “I thought I would be the Hokage today, don’t you think I look handsome?” She adds a little spin.

He takes another step forward and pulls at the sweater and the mask. His eyes are shining in the dark. “Very handsome”, he says and Sayuri immediately lets out a “Ha! I told you nobody actually thinks you are attractive! They only like your clothes. I needed you to see it for yourself.” Kakashi hums instead of a reply. It is unusual that he lets her win an argument, especially when it is such a petty one, but his eyes are still shining and fixed on her with a lopsided smile and it stays this way. No angry reply, no argument. Sayuri feels weirdly validated.

Finally Kakashi lets out a sharp breath. “Now that I’m up. What does my Hokage want me to do?”

“This is working for you?” Sayuri asks and puts her head to the side.

He knocks his head into hers softly. “Weirdly, yes.” He seems a little embarrassed about it as well.

She straightens her spine out. “Well then- then I want you to take down my mask” she orders and a quick smile appears and disappears on Kakashi’s lips. He moves one finger up to hook it under her mask as she has done so many times for him, and pulls on it to let it fall down her chin. It is a little exciting to be on the other end of this for once and Sayuri can feel the electricity in her veins as she angles her head up at him.

Before their lips can meet, however, they can hear a loud cry from another room. “Obito”, both say almost in unison and Kakashi lets go of Sayuri instantly. It is not unusual for the child to have nightmares that he would wake up screaming from. One of them would have to go and look after him now. The curse and privilege of parenthood.

Kakashi sighs. “I’ll dress up and go. You should also put on something… normal.” He reaches for his usual blue shirt and pulls it over his head. Sayuri feels for the clips at the back of the vest and can’t hide her disappointment. Things were getting good now, especially since she had actually finally won an argument for once.

Long fingers press her chin upwards and Kakashi presses a kiss to her lips and nose before turning to go. “This is not over, I can promise you that”, he gestures to the outfit. “We will just table it for another time.” With this he lets the door fall close behind him.

***

Yamato fiddles with the dinner plates as he cleans up the table in the evening while Sora takes care of Aiko. She knows something is on his mind and makes him nervous, but she is patient enough to give him the time to work the nerve to mention it himself. One of the things he likes about her is after all that she doesn’t push him into things that he isn’t comfortable with.

As he cleans the dishes away into the cupboard he coughs loudly and Sora grins a little to herself. “Talked to Kakashi today”, he says and tries to make it sound like he is just telling a story in a by-the-way fashion. Sora knows that this is finally what he was thinking about all evening, but she keeps concentrating on the child that babbles happily in her high chair. “Yes?” she asks to get Yamato to keep talking.

“We talked about mission statuses and the ANBU rebuild that is undergoing through Sai”, he explains and then turns around to face her. “It seems to be all going well as far as is considered. It can be tough to work the former Root agents into the new division since they have been shut off from the world for so long, but otherwise…” His voice trails off.

Sora waits patiently for him to continue. He sighs, then: “He told me a funny story actually…” Ah, Sora smiles, this is what he was actually trying to say. “Apparently Sayuri-san wore his Hokage outfit yesterday in the morning to win an argument about clothing. He said…” He coughed again. “He-he said that he liked that surprisingly much.”

Sayuri-san being almost a head or two smaller than her husband must have meant that her wearing his clothes would have been a very fun sight to see. Sora picks Aiko up and sets her on her hip when she realises why he told her that story in particular. “You want me to do that too”, she says as an observation and not a question. Yamato turns red almost instantly and leans against the kitchen counter: “O-only if you … you would want to of course.”

The baby babbles and rubs her eyes. Sora gives her a soft kiss onto the forehead and then hands her over to her father. “You put Aiko to sleep”, Sora says as Yamato takes the child from her. “I will gladly fulfil your wish.” As always embarrassed by his own romantic needs Yamato’s blush deepens, but Sora can see the excitement in his face too. He nods and walks with the child towards the tiny bedroom they have made for her.

After cleaning up the rest of the table that hasn’t been cleaned yet, Sora makes her own way into their master bedroom. The wardrobe at the back is light brown wood, full with carvings of vines and leaves, one of the many custom made items that Yamato brought into the household. She knows there is something at the top back that she is looking for and due to her small height it takes her a while to find it.

The scroll feels heavy in her hand even if it is as small as it is. Clothing scrolls can be very handy so they can be put into a pocket and stashed away, but the weight of the clothing style influences the scroll. It is not too heavy to lift or carry, it is just heavier than it looks. Sora hasn’t unsealed something for a long while - maybe ever- and so it takes her a little to figure the movement out to get the clothes out of the scroll. But finally the well folded clothes appear on the bed next to her, the ANBU mask set at the top.

Technically, Yamato was only supposed to be out of ANBU for a few weeks to support Kakashi and then go back to his squad and as such he had never given the uniform back. However, the support had turned into a multi month operation and then after the war he didn’t go back at all. While he helped out here and there at times, he was now effectively a working Jounin. Nobody had asked for his uniform back, so Yamato had just kept it sealed away at the back of their wardrobe.

It is all a little bit big for her, probably about the same as it must have been for Sayuri-san. The pants are very loose around her waist but she ties it together tightly at the front to keep it together. The undershirt is almost like a dress to her and Sora lets it disappear in the pants for it to fit better. She notices the little flap at the top that Yamato usually pulls up his chin and it makes her laugh when it immediately slithers down hers. Her face is, after all, a little smaller than his. With some pins from her dresser she locks it in the hair at her back and keeps it steady like that.

The vest is heavier than she had expected. She had never really worn the old green vests, even when she got her own after the Chuunin exam and she isn’t wearing the new modern ones either, so she had completely forgotten the weight of it. It makes sense though, as it is for body protection. Sora throws it over her shoulders and clips it shut, admiring her look in her dresser mirror for a moment before continuing with the gloves. They are much too long and she has to pull over the ends to keep them at the right length. There is only the arm protection left and clicking those closed with gloves on proves to be difficult. But in the end she gets it done.

With the uniform fastly secured she turns around and looks at the last piece still laying on the bed waiting for her: the cat mask. It makes her feel nostalgic as she picks it up and turns it in her hand. Yamato saved her with this mask on his face once from certain death and she had seen him countless times with it while she was watching him from a distance. Incredible that now it is here in her hand, in their bedroom as a married couple. Who would have thought things would turn out this way.

Hooking it to one's face is surprisingly easy. It sits behind the ears securely and easily removable if necessary. She looks at herself in the small mirror once more before she turns on her heels and exits the bedroom. By now Yamato surely has brought Aiko to sleep, who seemed very tired during dinner already. They probably have three to four hours before the baby is awake again. Enough time to enjoy… whatever this dress up is.

Sora leaves the bedroom on her tiptoes and can already hear the soft sound of the television coming in from the living room. Before she enters the wide open space she knocks onto a pillar of wood next to the door to get his attention. “You called for ANBU member Cat, sir”, she says, bowing a little and smiling behind the mask.

It is a delight to see Yamato’s reaction in real time. The way his eyes move over in confusion at the sentence she just said, the way they fall down over her clothes and back up, how they stay on her mask, how his jaw drops open. “Yes”, he sighs and it is a reply to her question and an assessment of the situation.

She steps into the room slowly so that her pants don’t fall down and makes her way over to him. “What did you want me to do, sir?” she asks again and tries to make her voice submissive and official. Yamato reaches with one hand to find hers gloved in his own gloves. His eyes are alight with a fire and she knows what that means. When he shakes his embarrassment off and shuts his head off and his heart leads, then he can be just as wild as others can be.

“Cat,” he says in his captain voice, “I want you to sit down. Here.” He pulls on Sora’s hand to make her sit on his lap. “Wouldn’t that be inappropriate, sir?” she asks coily. The play really works for him, she thinks as she notices how heavy he is already breathing. He pulls harder at her hand “I insist” until she completely sits on his legs.

His hands wrap around her waist. “Are you a capable member of the anbu squad, cat?” he asks, a little breathless.

“The former Cat was a very talented shinobi, I’m trying my best to follow in his footsteps”, Sora replies with a hidden smile. Yamato does not miss the compliment and the blush is back a little, but it just seems to put an even hotter fire into his eyes.

“Very well then”, he says and then: “Take your mask off.”

Sora straightens her back out: “That - we usually are not allowed to do that without due cause, sir.” Each “sir” seems to stir him even further and she enjoys that side of him every time it comes out.

His hand finds the bottom of her mask and pulls it from her face. He stops for a second, eyes locked on the chin cover she has steadied with pins and then he starts laughing. “Oh god, it's all too big for you.” His body is shaking with laughter. Sora laughs too now, because she always has to laugh when he laughs. Automatically their heads move forward so that their lips find each other in the air.

“It’s weird to kiss you with this clothed thing there,” Yamato admits and pulls at the chin protector. “Is that always like that when I wear it?”

Sora grins in reply: “Pretty much, yeah. You will get used to it.”

“I assume so”, Yamato mumbles and leans forward again for another kiss. When he draws back his eyes are full of fire again. “Now Cat, what should we do next?” Back straightening out Sora finds her submissive voice again: “Whatever you order, sir.”

#fanfiction things #oc: sayuri #oc: sora #naruto oc ship week 2022 #narutoocshipweek2022 #meep moop maap mieep maap mööp

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