#yashiro sensei

[kitsuneren]

Haven’t drawn Yashiro in a hot min. My favorite (murder) sensei 🥹🔪

[rafasbiscuits]

and that's on white/grey haired x black haired gays

[twitteringthings]

Chapter 56. Whose Inner Monologue?

Now, having my wits back about me after the sneak peak drop yesterday, I want to discuss the “I want a reason to stay by your side” and “This person has been suppressing his emotions” dialogue on the cover. I want to believe they are coming from Y but I believe that it could go either way after having read other interpretations/views. So I’m going to make an argument for why the inner monologue could be coming from either of them.

Doumeki

• He is the one who came back, - without having a reason to - Yashiro didn’t chase after him. So maybe he’s going to confess and make it known why he returned without obligation.

•The “this person has been suppressing his emotions” would make sense for D to say because he is the one looking down at Yashrio in a pretty vulnerable position, kind of with a analyzing gaze. Y is probably being perceived by D in this moment.

•He just found out about Ys impotency so now he knows for sure that he only reacts to D’s touch. He’s probably figured out by now (if he hasn’t that would be wild) that the Y Inami talks about and the Y he made love to are completely different people. So it would also make sense for him to say that Y has been suppressing his feelings because now he knows the truth about Ys sexual encounters and sexual state.

• It’s hard to imagine Yashiro being so open with his thoughts when we haven’t really seen him be completely honest with himself thus far (and put his feelings so plainly). Probably excluding his “I’ve constantly been searching for the old you” and “is that why you didn’t hold me like before?.”

•As I said in a previous post, D wanted Y then and he still wants him now. This time is a little different since it seems D won’t fully give himself to Y until he hears some form of emotional reciprocity. But D can’t handle completely leaving Y alone just because his boss told him to back down. So I could see this as a “last chance to tell me how you really feel” encounter.

•Obviously D knows he’s been holding back in every encounter with Y, so maybe he’s acknowledging that here? I’m not sure if the exact translation is “I’ve been suppressing feelings” or “this person.” So for this idea I’ll assume it’s the former.

•Last one haha. Y looks vulnerable on the cover, and his back is turned. What if the inner monologue is coming from D while he is looking at/imagining Yashiro?

Yashiro

•After the stoic way D has been acting, and after he came back suddenly without cause, Y has probably pieced together why he’s there hence “this person is holding back feelings” (But idk though because Y is terrible at reading Doumeki). I don’t think Yashiro was even be able to tell D was suppressing his emotions during their time together because he just assumed D acted that way because hated him, lol. Yashiro thinks that the old Doumeki is gone.

•Maybe Y was conjuring up a way to become entangled in Doumeki’s group drama to be close to him again (hence finding a reason to stay by Doumeki’s side), but idk that seems out of character for Y. He can’t stand the Yakuza.

•Annnnd I ran out of solid evidence for Yashiro… (I really don’t want to give up on my boy though ugh!). I want Y to be honest with himself in this way but once I started to collect my thoughts, there was way more evidence that points to the inner monologue coming from D rather than Y.

ALSO, It’s so interesting that this time it’s “I want a reason to stay by your side” and not just “I want to stay by your side.” Does this imply that the reason they both need this time around is a confession?honesty? If these are D’s thoughts, I believe he’s thinking “it’s not enough that I want to be with you, I need you to choose me and tell me that you want me too” and that would be his reason to stay. If they are Y’s thoughts then maybe he’s looking for the same thing from D. I can imagine his subconscious saying “I need to know for sure, I have to know that my heart is safe with you. This can’t be another unrequited love. Do you really hate me?”

I swear, Yoneda Kou is such a TEASE.

[saezurusteve]

Saezuru Fun Fact!!!

In traditional kendo, Japanese armor is not symmetrical and the left side usually offers great protection so it is part of the etiquette of kendo to put on your armor from the left, and this extends to the garments worn under armor as well.

Please let Doumeki have a sword in this fight... please, please, please!! Yashiro needs something new to fantasize about.

[nendoshinkai]

It’s Yoneda Kou-sensei’s birthday!!🎉

The boys helped to bake her a cake!🎂

Here’s wishing her all the best for health and success next year and a giant:

お誕生日おめでとうございます🎂🎊🎁

[hanako-san]

Pomo art to new chapter by AidaIro

[tsukasa]

[kursed-arcana]

[sarejinjin]

Planning on finishing these after my exams in 4 weeks so look forward to that!

Idk what this is tbh but I’ll prolly try doing it in manga format

*sneaks in second page where Nene asks Hanako where he found the bell and he’s just like “aaaaaaaaaaaano~ (ﾟ∀ﾟ)”

*sneaks in part where he’s explaining the cat features and is just like “felt cute”* lol

Don’t rlly have a follower base rn but if some unlucky human happens to stumble upon this and has any wants to see anything specific feel free to ask, I love drawing and I want to improve my art ^ - ^

[cielelyse]

Favourite 5 Saezuru Scenes

I recently reread Saezuru for the umpteenth time and just needed to gush about it like a crazed person who constantly hallucinates about Yashiro being happy and soOooOOooo.................

1. Why now? (Chapter 25)

These 3 panels kill me always... although it's the entire chapter 25 actually, and not just these panels. This broke me when I first read it nearly a decade ago, and it breaks me every time I reread it. I recently just listened to the drama CD for the first time and wanted to hear how this scene played out (a.k.a. wanted to hear Yashiro moan wkegh;ghwle) and I did not expect to start bawling and sobbing uncontrollably when his flashback appeared. WITH THE MUSIC AND EVERYTHING. THEY DID NOT SPARE ME. FUCK. What was supposed to be a tender and gentle and loving and intimate scene between them turned into Yashiro facing the effects of his childhood trauma -- that will never cease to hurt me. Doumeki saying "kashira, kashira, kirei" right before that broke me in a way reading that scene in English couldn't. I WILL NEVER GET OVER THIS and if I keep writing about it I'm gonna cry again so:

2. Car ride back from Kageyama's clinic (Chapter 4)

This is mostly for nostalgic reasons, really. I first read Saezuru in 2013, and I wasn't used to Yashiro at first. I didn't know what to make of him.

So what happened was that I read "Don't Stay Gold" first and was like... there's a manga about this mildly threatening and unreadable yakuza dude who's Kage's friend…? Who played cupid for him in a weird way? HMMMMM dubious, dubious. Would I even like him? It took me a while, but I finally gave Saezuru a shot anyway, and I remember feeling uncertain about Yashiro up until those panels. I remember it so starkly, because this was the instant I fell in love with him. I think it was because this was the first time I understood the depth of his loneliness (since I hadn't read his high school oneshot yet at this point).

There's just something about how Yoneda Kou-sensei draws these kinds of pages that just resonates with me so well. I CAN'T EVEN DESCRIBE IT. It just connects with me the way Yashiro connects with me, and that was pretty much it for me. Obsession sealed. Life signed away. For the next 10 years I would follow the story closely and routinely check every few months for updates. Yashiro became one of my only 3 comfort characters, and rereading Saezuru always gives me a catharsis and sense of peace that I didn't know how to find elsewhere.

3. "To go on living this strained existence... no longer holds any meaning to me." (Chapter 34)

This scene is one that I come back to every time I'm down. AM I A MASOCHIST? I really like the June translation too: "To go on living this strained existence no longer holds any meaning to me." I think the way the panels divided up those thoughts were brilliant!

This especially hurt me because for the entire manga up to this point, Yashiro has stated that he completely accepts himself and he's happy with who he is. It wasn't until his realization during the sex scene with Doumeki and how much he's said/done hurtful things to Doumeki afterwards -- who he considers pure and sweet and good -- that he thinks this.

4. "Falling in love feels like this" (Chapter 33)

The first time I read this, I had to set my PC down, go out to my apartment balcony, and just silently stare out into the night and resist the urge to smoke (that was half a joke) (I did feel a pang in my chest though) (and I did have to fight very hard not to smoke lwkehg;hge). I love the dialogue right after these panels too, when Yashiro said, "Your sister was lucky that you were there." That, along with Doumeki's reaction, hurt.

This was such an intimate scene between them. Yashiro was so vulnerable. So was Doumeki. I hadn't realized this until I reread Saezuru this year, but these two have always had such intimate scenes right from the start. It was a slow burn, yes, but they had always been instantly drawn to each other: Doumeki thinking Yashiro was beautiful and captivating, and Yashiro doing something he doesn't normally do with his subordinates the first time he met Doumeki. And it didn't clue in for me back in 2013, but their conversations with each other were much more intimate than the conversations they'd have with anyone else, right from chapter 1. I find that so precious.

5. Dream (Chapter 40)

I couldn't not include a scene from post-timeskip, BECAUSE I LOVE POST-TIMESKIP. I love Darkmeki and I love Yashiro and I love that the theme of post-timeskip centers around "change". Wish I could include that conversation Yashiro had with Tsunakawa about it, because I thought that drive-home was brilliant. I really appreciate that Yoneda Kou didn't have Yashiro and Doumeki get together right away after they have sex, and I really appreciate that the question was raised of: Do people change? Can people change on their own, or would you have to force them? Or are we always the same at our core? And I think the answer is of course a mixture of all of it, and that it's very much circumstantial and subjective, but I love how we're able to see the shifts in both Yashiro and Doumeki. How both men aren't quite the same people we knew pre-timeskip. Ten years ago I didn't think I would meet a version of Yashiro that wouldn't talk about sex 24/7, but here we are.

(Not to say that they're completely different now. They're still our Yashiro and Doumeki of course; I just wanted to gush about how well Yoneda Kou were able to flesh out her characters in such a complex, multidimensional way.)

ANYWAYS, I went on a rant without even mentioning these panels of Yashiro's dream. I love everything about it: Doumeki's face not showing, Yashiro running away and turning back to see Doumeki not there anymore, and that last panel of him standing in the middle of nowhere, lost and empty and lonely -- all of that was so incredibly told in pages of no words. UGH YONEDA KOU IS A GENIUS. It reminds me of that page of Yashiro looking at a mother and child in the rain; it's one of my favourite scenes too.

Honourary Mention (Chapter 4):

I should end with a more light-hearted one. THIS WAS CUTEEEE. I remember reading this for the first time and thinking Yashiro was just salty that his roleplay got ruined. But upon second reread (and maybe I'm delusional here), I thought he might've been happy to hear Doumeki say that.

We know Yashiro gets angry and irritated whenever he's happy to hear something sweet from Doumeki (like that extra when they ate together LOL), and that he had the same reaction of kicking the chair when Doumeki said he can't touch Yashiro's hair anymore. Which was cute to say. So I thought Yashiro might've lashed out in annoyance because he was glad that Doumeki doesn't mind. (I tried putting myself in Yashiro's shoes so many times trying to imagine how I would feel if Doumeki had said this............. and somehow came up with "happy" xD)

...........or maybe this was obvious to everyone and I've just been clueless. AAAAAAAA THIS IS WHY I LOVE ABOUT SAEZURU SO MUCH. It never spoon-feeds you information and lets its readers interpret :")

[saezurubirds]

"Why did you not love me?" Parallels between Yashiro's mom and Kageyama

While making my post about how Misumi and Yashiro's stepfather are similar, I realized another parallel that Yoneda-sensei put into Yashiro's tragic backstory. If Yashiro's stepfather and Misumi showed Yashiro that he deserves violence, then Yashiro's mother and Kageyama made Yashiro believe that he was unlovable. We don't know much about Yashiro's mother, but we do know that she abandoned Yashiro when he was in high school. It was mentioned that she wasn't really around to take care of Yashiro even before she abandoned him. Then around the same time, Yashiro develops feelings for his classmate Kageyama after the latter showed some interest in him. However, when Yashiro starts to share more intimate details about himself, Kageyama distances himself from Yashiro and even calls him pitiful. These double rejections further destroyed Yashiro's self-esteem, and made him believe that no one loved him. He's been living such a lonely existence for years, but we hope that one day he'll see himself the way Doumeki and us audiences see him.

[kitsuneren]

I’ve been watching Erased (again for the like 20th time literally). Enjoy a really garbage sketch I did at work because I couldn’t stop thinking about how much I love the series 👀😫🙃

[twitteringthings]

When Yashiro wakes up in chapter 53, he looks over for Doumeki and he’s gone. This makes me wonder if he looked over and Doumeki was sleeping beside him, would he have kissed him? A lovely parallel to the past but an entirely different meaning. This kiss wouldn’t be a “you’re so cute” kiss but a “I’ve been missing you for years” kinda kiss.

[artemisrisen]

I think a key to unlocking yashiro’s anxiety with intimacy is for him to see doumeki’s enjoyment in sex come through. doumeki has kept himself in tight control this whole time; clinical, like it was described. with good reason, but it’s not allowing yashiro any room to breathe from the scrutiny. he’s trying but I can’t imagine this makes things any easier for someone so private with his emotions.

but when he sees doumeki’s expression as they position into missionary, he actually laughs and touches the other’s face - he relaxes! he sees doumeki isn’t unaffected! it’s the one part of the chapter where there’s nothing complicated about his reaction.

what I’m saying is, he needs to flick doumeki’s sensitive nipples (as noted in the 2007-2017 fanbook by sensei) or lick an earlobe and watch doumeki’s face contort or moan, and think - oh, I can do that to him. he likes it. and I think this will be a catalyst.

[swallowerofdharma]

First impressions from chapter 57. Thank you so much @itwearsadress for your translation!

Doumeki to me seemed clinical? Most of all. I wouldn’t be surprised to discover that Izumi-san is actually Doumeki’s sex therapist and consultant. And with that I don’t imply that they necessarily have or had sex. I wouldn’t be surprised if Doumeki, feeling guilty and conflicted after realizing how complicated the situation with Yashiro was, thanks to that talk with Nanahara, asked for her advice. She is responsible for the girls at the club and she likely would know how to handle certain sensitive circumstances. Doumeki could have asked if she knew what to do with someone who was sexually assaulted.

It seems clear to me from this new chapter, at least, that the news delivered by Inami definitely registered. Doumeki’s approach is much more calculated now, he kept his attention on every expression Yashiro made. He is pushing, again, but this is deliberate instead of clumsy, and this isn’t anymore him trying to make it rough, because now he knows that rough doesn’t do it for Yashiro anymore. Now he knows that Yashiro responds to him specifically. And he is steering back towards gentle and loving, observing, observing the moment that triggers Yashiro’s fear. It was hard to see that Yashiro recognized Doumeki from four years ago, recognized that what they were doing was like that one time, like making love and he couldn’t help it and pulled back in fear. This is underlined so masterfully by the visual representation and expressed verbally later, so that it is shown and experienced before being told and explained.

This manga is amazing. All those nuances and also the ease with which Yoneda-sensei moves their bodies and the point of view. The details of Yashiro’s hands, how he opens his body to Doumeki, the shadow that one body cast on the other. This is artistically beautiful and every moment is meaningful.

Doumeki is still unaware of Yashiro’s feelings or of his fears connected with the idea Yashiro formed about his relationship with Izumi. So he acted deliberately and clinically while still emotionally involved and hiding it. There were moments where he lets his feelings through like when Yashiro said something that he remembered. When they talk like this, they recognize each other and those moments when they were lowering their defenses in the past and being honest. It makes me hopeful. Working through the pain and the fear. But they still don’t understand each other and that leaves them both very vulnerable.

[kyrieren]

Umbrella vs. Rain: The Driving Forces of Saezuru (3)

Note: my analysis relies heavily on visual elements

III. Aiai gasa (相合傘) - Under the shield of love

"相合傘 - Aiai-gasa" is a combination of the word "相合 - Aiai" - doing something together, and the word "傘 - gasa" - umbrella. Literally, it refers to the act of two people sharing an umbrella. However, as the word "Ai" is homophonic with "愛 - Ai" - love, "Aiai-gasa" connotes a derivative meaning: Love Umbrella. In "Saezuru", empathy and love are the umbrella that shields characters from the rain (or I believe so).

Yashiro vs. Mother & Child

The five panels on this page vividly embody the adage "A picture is worth a thousand words." Following Yashiro's forceful removal of Doumeki from the car, a profoundly expressive and iconic scene unfolds. The stark contrast presented is striking: Yashiro isolated in the car versus the Mother & Child duo outside, together under the rain. While Yashiro remains sheltered within the car, impervious from the rain, Mother & Child rely solely on an umbrella for protection. Yet side by side, the prowess of their bond shines through against the glooming backdrop. Their love acts as an impenetrable shield, leaving them unscathed. In stark contrast, Yashiro, who has just pushed away the person he loves and loves him back for mutual protection, finds himself alone. Despite the physical safety of the car, the rain metaphorically pierces through him in the darkness. It’s not the umbrella itself, it’s love that defends people against the rain. Yashiro has never had love before, but as soon as he has, he’s got no other choice than to let it go. That look in his eyes gives a mix of tragic resignation to his fate, the paradoxical coexistence of envy over and disdain for love, and the determination to give up love.

Fortunately, Doumeki refuses to give up on Yashiro, despite his cruel words. He quickly returns, bringing along an umbrella and water for medicine. His determination to stand by Yashiro's side and shield him is palpable. As soon as he enters, the car is brightened up and the rain retreats back to be outside of the car.

In this scene, Doumeki's arrival with the umbrella not only shields Yashiro from the rain's darkness but also symbolizes his loving presence guarding Yashiro off from his turmoil.

Although Yashiro may not yet be brave enough to acknowledge or confront his feelings, his expression subtly transforms from a frown in the first panel to something softer in the last. This instant change reveals the other side of Yashiro genuinely doesn't protest Doumeki's return, hinting at a hidden vulnerability beneath his tough exterior."

2. Moratorium

This cover is the scenery illustration of an extra where Yashiro has Doumeki run an errand to buy him an umbrella. For Yoneda sensei never half-asses anything, I'd like to take an approach regarding the characters' setting and the story's developments on this painting.

This marks the beginning of Yashiro and Doumeki's journey towards each other, as Doumeki endeavors to stand by Yashiro's side. Amidst the pouring rain, their bare heads stand out starkly in a sea of umbrellas, emphasizing the pain they both endure. In the bustling crowd, Yashiro remains motionless, a solitary figure amidst the chaos. The red light he is leaning against represents his childhood trauma and the yakuza world. Literally and metaphorically, Yashiro can't go even if he wants to. Yashiro's relaxed posture against the crimson glow signifies his reluctant acceptance of his date, a tragic resignation to his circumstances.

On the other side, Doumeki opts not to shield himself with the umbrella he carries and dashes to Yashiro with big strides. This bold act underscores Doumeki's unwavering commitment to protecting Yashiro, even at the cost of his own comfort and well-being. He willingly discards himself. That's why it doesn't end well.

3. Not yet Aiai gasa (相合傘)

When Doumeki returns, Yashiro's intuition clicks when he sees only one umbrella with him, but screws the idea of Aiai gasa right away by forsaking Doumeki drenched in the rain.

The 7th and 8th panel summarizes Saezuru until the end of the Hirata's arc - Yashiro pushes him away through assault, while Doumeki endures it all to remain by Yashiro's side. Aiai saga is meant to be two people under the umbrella, not one. Ironically, despite their deep affection and fierce desire to protect each other, their relationship falters due to a lack of mutual commitment to being together. Another significant contributing factor is their profoundly low self-esteem: Yashiro, feeling undeserving, violently pushes Doumeki away to protect him, while Doumeki, undervaluing his worth, tolerates mistreatment and violence for Yashiro's sake. In this sense, they both push Doumeki away, unable to bridge their emotional barriers.

In the 9th panel, Yashiro blames Doumeki for his tardiness. While Doumeki is indeed late, it's evident that it's not his fault. His arrival into Yashiro's world comes after Yashiro has endured immense suffering alone for a long time, leading to a coping mechanism that rejects Doumeki's presence. However, Doumeki's entry into Yashiro's life marks the end of the Moratorium. Yashiro can now begin to move forward, although the process is slow and painful, signifying a gradual progression towards healing.

By all accounts, in their complicated case, love love alone is not sufficient. Acceptance, self-appreciation, and the mutual wish to be together are essential components for Aiai gasa to work for them.

4. Aiai gasa (相合傘) - Under the shield of love

I'll be positive saying that Yoneda sensei has hinted at their happy ending in this poster for the Rain event, or at the very least, a phase where they accompany each other out of love.

This is Doumeki and Yashiro post-time-skip. The image of them under the umbrella signifies a mutual desire to be together at last. Doumeki holding the umbrella for Yashiro, who is already slightly damp from rain droplets, symbolizes Doumeki's belated but meaningful presence in Yashiro's tumultuous life. This time, Yashiro allows Doumeki to take care of him, indicating a shift in their dynamic. Doumeki's actions also suggest a growth in his self-esteem, from nothing to something.

Their interaction speaks volumes. Despite Yashiro's sulky expression and bombastic side eyes, Doumeki meets his gaze directly. This subtle interaction hints at their ongoing communication and mutual efforts to understand each other better.

Under the shield of love - Aiai gasa, they are navigating their complexities. Under the shield of love, anything is possible, I believe. The mutual understanding, if they successfully arrive, would not only empower them but also serve as a shield, safeguarding and freeing them from their birdcage.

Read the previous parts here:

Part 1:

Part 2: