#yeah I’ve just been watching this mv over and over again for some reason

[are-we-really-doing-this]

Linchpin - Fear Factory

[kinnsporsche]

i was so ready for the pool scene but I got this episode instead :/ I don’t even know what to say. is kinn really this stupid?? falling for tawan’s lies again? tell me he’s not this stupid. I honestly don’t know what to think. I’ve seen some people theorize that he believes Porsche is innocent and he’ just acting like he’s falling for it but idk I would like to believe this theory but I feel like he genuinely doesn’t trust Porsche. which is so absurd?? he literally didn’t do anything? 1/8

why would eavesdropping on t prove he’s a mole? I seriously dont understand. god his facial expressions when k said to lock him up. the way he was confused at first and rightfully so like he just wanted to help?? and the second time he tried to reason with him because this is nonsense and how does k not see it?? by the third time he just completely gives up and it’s so heartbreaking. apo’s acting was so good in this scene I can’t even put into words the multitude of emotions he goes through. and at the end when he thought k was coming to get him and said ‘I knew you’d trust me’ GOD the angst in this show.I swear to god tankhun is the only one with the braincells in this show.he likes to act “crazy” but he’s far from it. everyone can see from a mile away that tawan is lying. I cannot believe that kinn can’t. when he said he’ll clear things up with p that gave me hope. he must be acting like he’s falling for tawan’s lies right? this is all part of his plan to catch him. there’s only a few episodes left it wouldn’t make sense if k still didn’t fully trust him. but in that shoot-out scene from the mv p says Im on your side so like? its still not clear? p still has to convince him? vikki I’m genuinely losing my mind over these gays. okay the things I loved: THE MILK!! metaphor of the damn century. out of all the things they could have chosen for this they chose milk.. I love that for them. and kimchay!! after the last ep I was ready for angst but we got a kiss. they are so cute idk what happens to them in the novel but I hope they get a happy ending in this. although I’m sure some shit is about to go down first. and vegas my boy. idk how you feel about him but personally I’m a weak hoe. I see a sexy villain and I simply have to simp for him. I’ve been dying to see some vegaspete and it’s finally happening!! I know about some stuff he does in the novel but I have no idea what they’ll do in the show and it’s just so exciting. will he genuinely like pete or just use him? I’m dying to find out. and he’s so good at playing Porsche. I mean it’s good to watch but p is not falling for it at all. after that pool scene part of me is convinced this is all just an act and he doesn’t give a fuck about p but another part of me is like what if he was just planning on using him against kinn but started to genuinely like him at some point?? I really don’t know. I mean he’s probably just using him but still I like to be a little delulu and imagine things. and the ending?? run away with me Porsche?? I was screaming!!! there’s no way p would go with him but the possibility of p tricking vegas and using him to get out of jail? chefs kiss. so yeah I think I’ve screamed about everything I wanted. I make theories in my head what could happen next episode but I’m always wrong lmao. and I just wanted to say I hope you’re doing better now and everything is well i'm genuinley so thankful that i can come here and talk about kp with you

my kp anon!!!!!

the way we were baited with that pool scene 💀💀 and during the first week of pride month? kp cancelled for being homophobic against me personally actually. the way i was watching the timer tick down the whole episode like "oh boy haha 30 minutes left i wonder when the pool scene will happen. oh boy only 15 minutes now................haha only five more minutes guys..........." im not a clown im the whole circus

i genuinley don't think kinn trusts tawan in the slightest but im a kinn defender at heart. kinn knows that tawan never loved him, he made that clear at the end of episode 8 during that conversation with porsche when he crumpled up his picture. kinn is very much aware of the fact that he was in love with tawan, but tawan used him and played him and was never in love with him. i think it's easy for us to sit here and say that porsche hasn't done anything but we have the benefit of hindsight we know what he was doing when he bugged tawan's room, kinn doesn't. from his perspective it just looks like porsche was spying on him and following him around without permission, and that scene with vegas by the pool probably didn't help either since he thinks the information is being passed along to the minor family of course everything starts to look kinda sus.

there are a few emotions kinn doesn't deal well with, two of the big ones being jealousy and betrayal. it's less about him not trusting porsche (because he does trust him imo, just in his own way. why else would he continiously let himself be alone around porsche, let himself be vulnerable around porsche, if he didn't trust him ykwim?) and more about him not trusting himself and his emotions. he was burned so visciously by tawan and he has genuine trauma from it that i think a lot of people don't want to see, it's not as easy as telling kinn to just get over it now he has porsche, he has a lot of trust issues and when you couple that with his identity crisis his actions start to make a lot more sense.

the "i knew you'd trust me" genuinley broke a little piece of my soul because kinn does trust him!! and porsche has enough faith in him to know that he does!! again it all comes right back to the fact that these two have problems with communicating their emotions - they have sex and they think it solves the majority of their problems but it doesn't.

i swear to god i've rewatched the trailer at least 12 times this week to try and piece all the scenes we haven't got yet together. where does the scene with his uncle and the "you shagged him for this" come in, why are they laughing together at the back of yok's bar, when is kim going to beat the shit out of someone i need answers five episodes is not enough time for all the answers that i need!!!!! and we still have to get that scene of porchay crying when he's looking at his phone kimchay is gonna go up in flames soon i know it is and im not prepared to see him cry

listen bible is SO pretty but i want to spin vegas' jaw right now like im gonna feel bad about bruising all his pretty but im still gonna DO it get a job stay away from porsche. i heard that they toned a lot of the vegaspete arc down from the novel which im obviously happy about because oh boy...... vegaspete novel arc is just not it babes novel vegas im sharpening my knives as we speak

my kp anon my beloved im always here for u to scream at i love getting your asks sm!!! throughout the week when im thinking of my reply im just thinking of the meta i should write out honestly u give me braincells and i

[whatifyoulivelikethat]

pause, m | myg | 2

pairing(s): yoongi x reader

summary: Life is like a cassette tape. It seems like it’s constantly repeating, flipped from side A to side B, and the songs can’t be skipped. You can only pause, rewind, fast forward, play after you’ve already heard the song. After you’ve already lived it. All Min Yoongi knows is his own tape, until it smashes right at his feet, and then he has to learn to dance to a different beat.

warnings: rated M (18+) - please be warned this story has a physically and verbally abusive relationship; language; emotional manipulation; gender stereotyping; non-idol!AU; music producer!Yoongi x dancing fanatic!reader

rated M because I know how sensitive a topic domestic abuse is.

The music reader listens to is inspired by Frederic, specifically their songs ‘oodloop’, ‘OWARASE NIGHT’, and ‘Kanashii Ureshii’ and you can look up the MVs on YT. They have subs, yes the lyrics inspired certain scenes, no I have no idea what is going on, and I don’t know why they’re dancing like that lol

–

1.

-

She slapped him across the face.

You froze.

The cassette smashed.

“I hate you, Min Yoongi!”

She shouted it so loud that you heard it over your music. Your finger instinctively went to your earbud and tapped it, pausing the sound. You couldn’t believe your eyes. What had this guy done? What had this guy done to be yelled at like that the second he stepped off the night train to stand in front of his girlfriend?

“Useless piece of trash, always fucking late!”

Slapping him over and over, so loud because the train station was completely empty except for you and these two, yelling obscenities and the guy was just standing there, taking it, saying, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, sorry for what? Why did she keep hitting him? Why? Stop it. Stop hitting him.

“Such a fucking waste of life, I can’t believe I have to be your girlfriend!”

Stop it.

“No one will ever fucking love you, you shithead, so I’m stuck with your stupid self!”

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry…”

Mumbles. Fear.

Stop it!

“You think anyone will ever do anything for you the way I do? I’m all you have!”

Within two seconds, you crossed the space between you and them.

You smacked her hand away from him.

Pause.

You hesitated to press play. Standing in front of this random guy you didn’t even know, fury in your chest so strong that you forgot you were a stranger, glaring at this scowling, rage-filled woman with vehement disdain. You had no idea what the fuck was going on, you had no idea why he was being slapped so much, you had no idea why this woman was so angry and maybe there were very good reasons for it all, but somehow.

Somehow you didn’t think so.

Play.

“Stop it. He said he was sorry,” you barked, narrowing your eyes.

Her pretty face twisted with rage. “Who the fuck is this bitch, Yoongi? A whore you picked up?”

“I… I don’t know her…” the man behind you rasped, trying to move around you, but you kept yourself between the two, shouldering your backpack.

“I don’t know him. I just know you shouldn’t be hitting someone like that.”

The woman snapped at you, rising to her full height, challenging you. “This isn’t any of your fucking business. This is between me and him and doesn’t concern outsiders. Tell her, Yoongi.”

But you didn’t let Yoongi tell you, cutting him off as he tried to speak.

“This isn’t my business, but I’ve seen enough examples to be able to spot domestic violence when I see it,” you growled.

The woman scoffed, flipping her hair. “Domestic violence,” she snorted. “He’s a man. It’s not like I hit him that hard. I’m a woman.”

You curled your hands into fists.

“You stupid bully.”

The woman looked taken aback. “What?”

“I said, you’re a stupid fucking bully,” you snarled, taking a step forward and forcing her to take one back. “You think this is nothing, until you have children and your children have to watch this shit over and over, every night, thinking it’s right, thinking it’s the way it should be, but you’re fucking wrong, because this is not a relationship, this is not love, this is fucking bullying and you are a stupid, dumb bully who can’t admit you have an inferiority complex and your kids will spend years in fucking therapy wondering why they don’t understand how to make relationships with other human beings because their mom was a terrible fucking example, so do me a fucking favor and get the fuck out of here and leave this guy alone, because you are an absolute sewage of a human being.”

She gawked at you, slack-jawed, probably never been talked to in such a forceful manner before, but you didn’t care, because you didn’t spend years in therapy to watch this shit happen right in front of your face.

Never in your entire life had you ever been so angry at a stranger before.

The woman seemed to gather her bearings and spat at the floor, staining the concrete with her spit. You raised your eyebrows, unintimated. She stamped her foot at your lack of reaction, pointing accusingly at Yoongi behind you.

“Don’t you ever think about coming back home. I’m burning all your shit.”

She turned her heel and stomped away.

You almost expected Yoongi to run after her, but he didn’t. He just stood behind you and breathed laboriously. You suddenly realized that you might have done something mildly insane. She said she was going to burn all his shit.

“Hmph,” you heard the mumble behind you. “All I had was clothes anyway.”

You turned around. He wasn’t looking at you. His black hair was all over his face, and his face mask was half-pulled down, revealing his red cheeks. You looked away quickly, taking a step back.

“Are you… okay?” you asked quietly.

You saw his eyes shift around. He didn’t actually respond. Just shrugged.

You bit your lip.

Silence.

“There… are no more trains,” the Yoongi guy whispered.

“Y… Yeah.”

Silence.

The lights above you were harsh, casting large shadows all over the concrete. Nothing but the sounds of the city and the darkness above, the moon witnessing it all.

He turned away from you, walking over towards the benches. Walking away. The crumpled paper of a man, shrinking as he took one step, then another, farther and farther away from you, and you opened your mouth to shout after that black back, extending your hand in the air.

“H-Hey!”

Pause.

He turned his head around to look at you with broken and lonely eyes.

“If you want… I have a couch and some blankets.” You swallowed, knowing how crazy it was. “Because… You shouldn’t go back. I…” Don’t want you to end up like my dad. “Even if it’s one night.”

I want to break this cycle.

“Just one.” You lowered your hand, holding up one finger. “One.”

Yoongi didn’t say anything.

Only turned around wordlessly and walked back to you, stopping in front of you. Saying nothing.

He didn’t say anything the entire walk.

Didn’t say anything as you opened the door and gestured him inside. Showed him the couch, got him the blankets. Asked him if he wanted anything else. He shook his head instead of talking. You ran to your room and got him a spare pillow. Held it out to him. He took it silently. Ran off again and got a new toothbrush from your stash of toothbrushes. An unopened travel toothpaste. Asked him if he wanted anything to eat. A glass of water. He shook his head.

Showed him the bathroom. A shower?

Shake, shake.

Okay.

You told him if he was cold to let you know. You would find another blanket.

Yoongi said nothing.

You nodded and turned away, letting him be. It was hard to look at him. You didn’t want him to think you pitied him or anything. But he reminded you too much of your dad if you stared at him too long. You had gotten him everything you could think of and let him know that if he needed anything to tell you.

You went to your bedroom and let out a big sigh.

No dance party tonight.

You went to your computer and opened Spotify. Put your headphones on and listened to the music, letting it carry you away. Before you knew it, one song flowed into another. You slowly began to bounce your head to the music, the cheerful, quirky beats making you smile, your hands moving on their own, lip-syncing the lyrics.

A happy tune with sad lyrics, but it made you smile at the same.

You failed to notice Yoongi appear at your door, holding his phone. He needed a charger. Did you have one? And then he saw the back of your head, bouncing along, headphones on.

He retreated back to your living room, clutching his phone. Decided to go to sleep instead.

Hours later, you finally decided to sleep, placing your headphones down. Was Yoongi sleeping? You padded over to the dark living room, seeing a bundled form on your couch. His coat was over the blanket. His head was under the blanket. Was he cold? You went back to your room and collected a pink knit one. Walked back to the living room and moved his jacket aside onto the armchair, putting the extra blanket on top of him.

His phone was on your coffee table, flashing. It was low on battery.

You checked if it was Android or iPhone. Android. Good, because you didn’t have a lightning cable, although you would have gone to the twenty-four-hour convenience store nearby to get one if he did have an iPhone. Back to your room. Got a charger and struggled to find an outlet in the dark. You’d think you would know where your own outlets were, but apparently you were too sleepy to remember. You felt around in the dark and poked at an outlet, stabbing the wall repeatedly before plugging it in. Maybe you should have turned a light on, sheesh.

You snaked the cable around and plugged his phone in. It vibrated approvingly and you gave it a thumbs up, even though it was an inanimate object.

Let’s just say living alone made you weird.

You let out an exhale and wandered off to brush your teeth.

Not noticing Yoongi had woken up and been watching your struggle. Saying nothing.

Pause.

Fast forward.

-

Morning.

You yawned and nearly jumped when you saw the unmoving pink blob on your couch. Oh, right. You were surprised he wasn’t awake, but you shrugged. The blankets were over his head, blocking out the sun. You tried to stay quiet, opening your fridge, staring at the contents.

Staring at it with a million question marks.

You had… kimchi. Eggs. Cheese. Definitely expired take-out. You took that out and dumped it in the trash can, grimacing at it. A stranger didn’t need to see how disgusting that was. You went back to your fridge. Um. It wasn’t that you couldn’t cook, it was that you didn’t have jack shit. And if you cooked on the stove, you would definitely wake up Yoongi.

Your stomach screamed in rage.

Feed me!

Ah, well. Sorry Yoongi. You settled on a kimchi-egg-cheese pancake thing. Was it going to be good? Sure. Was it not the most elegant thing in the world? Maybe. What can you do?

You began to chop the kimchi.

-

Yoongi turned over on the couch, groaning. He heard the sizzle of the pan. Smelled spice. Eggs. The world was unfamiliar. No one was yelling at him to get up. No one was doing the blankets off of him and calling him a lazy pig. 

"Motherfuc–!"

A female voice cursed in a loud whisper. You cut yourself off, muttering.

"Stupid oil, ugh."

Not his girlfriend. 

Slowly, Yoongi pulled the blankets off his head. An unfamiliar scent, different laundry detergent than he was used to. The sofa smelled different too, like vanilla with a hint of stale popcorn. Probably from being dropped in the cushions and forgotten about until months later. 

His stomach growled. 

The smell of the food enticed him. He got up, seeing you at the stove, wearing black pajamas with the sleeves rolled to your elbows, and a cream scrunchie holding your hair up. You made a face at the pan and scolded it. 

"Who's the boss here?" you hissed hotly at the sizzling food. "That's right, me, because I'm about to eat your ass, so simmer down and stop trying to singe my arm hair off."

Yoongi blinked. 

He got off the couch as you continued your quiet tirade, shoving your hand into a bag of cheese and sprinkling it on top, laying down a generous layer. 

You should cover it, Yoongi thought. To let the cheese melt. 

You grabbed a pan lid, and covered it. The lid definitely went to a separate set because it was a different shade of silver, but it didn't matter. You mumbled triumphantly at the pan. 

"Ha, take that, you stupid eggs, who's in the hot seat now, eh?"

Yoongi stared.

You lifted the lid and checked the cheese. A billow of smoke floated out. You seemed satisfied and turned off the gas. Lifted the pan and spun around. 

Froze. 

Yoongi blinked at you. 

Your eyes were wide, still holding the hot pan. 

Silence. 

A good ten seconds past. 

You slowly put the pan on the cork potholders at the counter. Two plates were at the counter with two sets of chopsticks.

"Uh... I made a kimchi-egg pancake t-thing..." you stuttered. "With cheese on top. You don't have to eat it. But I'm not going to poison you or anything. Er, well, that's something a someone who would poison you would say, huh? Oh, maybe I should have checked the expiration date on the kimc–"

"Why do you talk to your food?" Yoongi asked pointedly.

You turned bright red. 

"Um... bad habit. 'Cause I live alone..." You shifted your eyes. "No one... to talk to."

Yoongi stared at you. 

You turned around abruptly and grabbed a knife. Took off the pan lid. The kitchen was suddenly filled with the delicious smell of eggs and kimchi. The cheese bubbled as you cut it into pizza-like slices.

Yoongi sat down at the barstool, staring at it. He was the one who usually cooked. He hadn't had a home-cooked meal by someone else in forever. Not since he lived with his parents. 

That was a long time ago. 

"I seasoned the eggs beforehand and poured it on the sautéed kimchi..." You placed a plate with a pair of chopsticks in front of him, ears still red. You avoided looking him in the eye, scratching your cheek. "I, uh, have to go grocery shopping," you mumbled, taking a slice. "Sorry it's not that fancy..."

Yoongi picked up the chopsticks and took a slice. He blew in it carefully and took a small bite. Spicy, savory, delicious. He took another bite. And another. The food was hot, almost burning the roof of his mouth. This must be a dream. He wasn't in his nightmare. He wasn't going to question it. 

As long as he wasn't in his nightmare, he could pretend this was reality. 

Yoongi didn't notice you watching him with relief. 

He took another slice. The meal was quiet, but not suffocatingly so. It was calm, only interrupted by chewing. You reached into the cabinet below you and produced a water bottle. Put it next to him. Didn't say anything. Yoongi are three more slices, throat prickling with the spice, lips puffy, before he opened the water bottle and drank from it.

"If you want, I can direct you to a shelter."

Yoongi put the water bottle down. Stared at his stained, now empty plate. 

"Or you can call a friend to shelter you," you continued. "You can even get a restraining order if we involve the police–"

"No."

He said the word with harsh finality. 

"It's not that bad."

It wasn't. He was just being a child, running away. 

"... Okay."

Yoongi looked up. For a split second, there was immense pain in your eyes. Why? None of this was happening to you. You didn't know anything. You were just some stranger. Why was he even here? Why had he come here to sleep on some random couch? So dumb. Some random woman couldn't save him from his problems. 

... Your kids will spend years in fucking therapy wondering why they don’t understand how to make relationships with other human beings because their mom was a terrible fucking example...

Yoongi stilled as he remembered your words from last night. That was far too specific. His brows furrowed. You let out a sigh and took his plate.

"Do you want a shower?" you asked. "I have spare towels."

Yoongi tilted his head. "I don't have a change of clothes." He stared at the hardwood floor. "And my other clothes are probably burned by now."

You placed the dishes in the sink and began to wash them. 

"We can go buy some. I need groceries anyway."

He didn't understand why you were being so nice to him. It was strange. You didn't know him. Well, actually... he didn't even know your name either. 

"Uh..."

You looked up from the dishes, hands covered in soap. Yoongi did all the dishes at home. He did all the housework, in fact. This was weird, watching another person do housework. His voice was quiet, timid, crumpled like a piece of paper. 

"What's your name?" 

-

"Do you want white or black?"

You held up two multi-packs of t-shirts in his size.

"Uh... Black."

You dumped the black in the cart and put the other back. Yoongi stayed behind you, not picking out anything. You were wearing your backpack, a black cap, red wide-knit sweater, and black jeans. Black combat boots, the familiar staple for you. The two of you are standing in an aisle at the local convenience store. Yoongi was still wearing the same clothes from last night – black parka, black turtleneck, black jeans, black face mask. 

He mostly stared at the floor, following your boots. 

"White or black?"

Yoongi looked up to see you on the other side of the cart, holding two multi-packs of underwear. White briefs and black boxer briefs. He felt his cheeks heat up as you blinked at him. Instead of speaking, he grabbed the black boxer briefs from your hand, intending to chuck them into the cart.

Except his jacket sleeve caught a strand of your red sweater, the Velcro sticking to and unraveling it, so that when he twisted his hand to throw the plastic pack into the cart, the yarn tangled around his fingers and got caught, rapidly getting pulled around. Your eyes widened, gasping as the red string was yanked from your sweater. 

"O-oh!"

"Fuck!"

His hand was tangled in it and the part around your wrist tightened, the missing yarn causing the constriction. Yoongi cursed again, trying to shake free, panic rising. Oh no, fuck, what if you got angry? What if you started yelling at–?

You laughed. 

You started laughing. Yoongi froze, slowly lifting his head to witness your laughter. Your shoulders shook, shaking your head, big smile on your face. The yarn hung in the air, shaking a little.

The red string connecting you to him. 

Yoongi stared. 

At you.

His heart thudded in his chest. 

Thump. 

"Hold on," you chortled, reaching over and following the red yarn.

Thump.

His heart was like a bass drum. Consistent and loud, rhythm in his own ears. You untangled the mess slowly, carefully, wrapping the exposed end loosely around your wrist. Finally, it was off his fingers. Your fingers were centimeters from the back of his hand. You grasped the red yarn tightly. Yoongi looked at the end, trapped in the Velcro of his parka.

Thump. 

A fleeting feeling. 

Happiness.

You ripped the red yarn off, the end frizzy and scraggly. 

Another fluttering feeling. 

Sadness. 

You backed up, going back to the cart, tucking the end in next to your wrist, all chuckles. Thump, thump, thump. He couldn't breathe. It was impossible. What was going on? Why did he suddenly start shaking all over?

"I'm sorry," he blurted, breathless in panic. 

You shook your head, waving a hand. 

"Don't worry about it. This thing is old anyway." You pointed to the rack. "Is four enough? Or do you need more?"

"U-uh..."

"Let's get one more. I can always return it if you change your mind."

-

"Do you have a job to go to? Because I have to go soon," you were saying as you shoved the groceries into the fridge. Yoongi was unwrapping the plastic and cutting off the tags from the few clothing items you two had bought. 

"Um... yeah, I work at a music studio..." Yoongi mumbled. "I make my own hours."

"And it ends right before the last train, right?" you affirmed, nearly dropping the green onions and making a mad dash for them before they touched the ground. Whew. You shoved them back in your fridge. You didn’t really have an organization system. You probably should. Being an adult was hard.

"... Yeah."

"Cool, you should take a shower now then. I'll get a towel, hold on!"

You scrambled out of the kitchen to find a towel in the linen closet, the fridge door still open. 

"... Alright..."

-

Pause.

Fast forward.

-

Yoongi spent the entire train ride tense. You sat in your usual spot, humming along, bobbing your head to your music in your earbuds. Neither of you attempted to sit next to the other. Yoongi fully expected his girlfriend to be there as he stepped out of the train, at the last stop. He thought he was going to get yelled at once again. He thought she would be there to smack him upside the head again. He braced himself as the doors opened, exhaling deeply as he walked out of the sliding doors.

"Ugh, I need some energy," you mumbled behind him, yawning. 

No one was there. 

The bright streetlamps only illuminated the concrete. 

"Hey, Yoongi."

He turned his head to see you tilting yours. 

"You coming?"

You bounced on your heels. He remembered your usual routine. 

"Wanna race?" you asked with a big grin. 

-

Morning. Night. Morning. Night. 

Empty station at the last stop. No one but you and him getting off. 

Morning. Night. 

"Hey, Yoongi."

Morning. 

"You coming?"

Night. 

“Wanna race?”

Repeat.

The cassette tape replayed over and over, flipped around in the stereo, day in, day out, stuck on replay, a weird reality that wasn't his until it became his, seeing your face when he woke up, watching you cook breakfast in the morning, chastising inanimate objects when you thought he wasn't looking.

Your lips asking him once again. 

"You coming?"

Then you and him, breaking out into a run, racing to your apartment. 

At first, Yoongi didn't smile. 

Then one day, he did. 

And he kept smiling, smiling as he ran breathlessly with you. 

-

"What are you doing?"

You froze. 

Literally one second before you heard those words, you had been wiggling your arms like an octopus in front on your full-length mirror, flapping the long sleeves of your over-sized blue sweatshirt, your billowy knee-length gray shorts following suit. You reached up to your Bluetooth headphones to take them off.

And realized, with heated cheeks, that the music was not coming from your headphones, but the Bluetooth speakers on your desk, blaring the odd twangs of guitar and quirky drum beats, paired with whiny, almost nonsensical lyrics. 

You turned around. 

Yoongi stood at the entrance of your bedroom door, staring. He was wearing a black t-shirt. Black sweatpants that were slightly too short, exposing his pale ankles. 

The song went into the guitar solo. 

He blinked at you. 

"Uh... dancing?"

Blink. 

Normally after work, Yoongi would either be asleep or watching television in your living room. You told him cable came with the apartment and you never watched TV, so he should at least watch some in your stead. You usually went to your room. The first couple nights, you only danced in your chair. Then you got up and danced next to your desk, and then you were back to your wacky mirror dancing, thinking that if it was though headphones, then Yoongi wouldn't notice. 

But, of course, you had disturbed him with your music blasting through the speakers, which had never been disconnected all this time because, well, how were you supposed to know? They must have connected because your over-ear headphones died.

"That was dancing?" Yoongi echoed.

Your eyes shifted. "Er... it's stress relieving?"

Yoongi stared at you.

Blink. 

The song changed. One of your favorites. 

Your shoulders began to bounce. Your head tapped to the beat. Then your heel. 

Blink. 

"Are you possessed?" Yoongi asked with a deadpan look. 

The tune was getting to the good bit with the xylophone. Fuck it. He had already seen you octopus it up. You began to bob your head from side to side, breaking out to a big grin, shooting him some finger guns before going back to your full-body jiggle and arm flapping, singing along on the top of your lungs, prancing around your room, Yoongi staring at you the entire time in mild shock. He probably thought you were psychotic, but who cared, because you were clapping along to the snare drum, skipping in circles, pointing at him at certain parts in the lyrics and playing air guitar. 

His normally downcast cat-like eyes were huge.

You grabbed his hands at the guitar solo and he yelped, his arms rippling as you swung them around, you stumbling through the lyrics, singing the absurd words, and Yoongi gawking wide-eyed.

The song went to the final chorus and you wiggled like a fucking squid. 

Only to see Yoongi burst out laughing and wiggle his arms with you, tiny wiggles compared to your full-blown tentacle swings, but it made you laugh too, because it was all stupid and ridiculous and very embarrassing. 

With a start, you realized you had seen Yoongi laugh. 

And he looked so wonderful laughing, perfect teeth and pink gums, huge smile and scrunched-up face, black hair falling back from the strength of his chuckling, revealing his lovely fair-skinned features and those cat-like eyes sparkling.

Sparkling with brightness. 

The song ended and you were panting breathlessly.

Yoongi raised his eyebrows in disbelief, half-smirk on his lips. 

"Your music taste is nuts."

You smiled as the next song started. 

"Nah, this is just my nighttime dance party music. It's supposed to be crazy."

You flapped your sleeves to the beat of the drum. Grinned at him. 

"Because every night should be a dance party."

And you started dancing again, Yoongi watching you and laughing, even joining in sometimes. 

From then on, every night was a dance party. At one point, Yoongi started to bring you songs and weird beats he discovered for you to dance to. He even said a few times, "Hey, I made this. Can you make a dance from it?"

You'd dance to anything. 

You weren't great at it. 

But it was always hilarious. 

And it was always worth it, watching Yoongi laugh all night. 

-

Pause. 

Fast forward. 

Wait. Are you sure?

You can always rewind. 

You don't have to press play. 

Pause.

Play. 

-

“Do you like rap?”

You were sitting next to Min Yoongi on the night train. There were still people around, not yet the last stop. He was clutching his phone, face mask on his chin. He looked a little nervous.

“Yeah, of course. I like all music,” you said cheerfully. “Something you want me to dance to?”

Yoongi chuckled a little, giving you that little half-smirk. “No.” He took a deep breath. “I’m a… music producer. And I… I make music. And I wondered if you wanted to listen to a little bit my mixtape.”

“I do.”

Yoongi looked taken aback. You grinned.

“I definitely want to listen to it.”

You connected your earbuds to his phone and listened carefully. His words, his beat, his rhythm. Yoongi sat beside you, wrapped in his black parka, looking nervous as he chewed on his lip, but you didn’t notice, bobbing your head to certain bits, mouthing the chorus, raising your eyebrows as he altered the framework of a traditional song. He had only five tracks on the playlist, but you listened to them all, holding his phone. When the playlist ended, you clicked back to your favorite parts and replayed them, over and over, listening to his strong, raspy voice.

Yoongi sounded confident when he was rapping.

Like he was meant to do it, perfectly expressing himself with his simple words and elegant phrasing, his anger, his sorrow, his hopes. You could tell there was an underlying theme, an uncertainty about the future. As if he was taking steps to an invisible, unlit path, and he wasn’t sure whether to run forward without a guiding light or go back to all he knew.

You handed him back his phone with a smile. You understood him a little better now.

“Well?” he asked, still biting his lip.

“I really like it,” you said. “Especially your vocals. It’s different from other voices I’ve heard.”

“… It’s not that–”

“And I like your lyrics. They’re simple, but they pack a punch and make you think.” You smiled widely. “I like music that makes me want to listen to it over and over again. That’s how your rap makes me feel.”

Yoongi looked stunned.

You pointed to his phone. “You could release it just like this, if you wanted.” You tilted your head. “Hm, maybe a few more songs though. It seems like you’re trying to tell a story.”

He blinked rapidly, putting his phone in his pocket. “Y-Yeah… I’m working on a few more that I want to add.”

You nodded. “That’d be awesome.”

The train screeched to a halt. There was no one in the car. That was your cue. You stood, stretching first and then shouldering your backpack. Yoongi stood as well, pensive and silent. The train doors slid open. He walked out first and you followed. Streetlights harsh and bright on the concrete. Yoongi did his usual routine of looking to the edge of the train station.

Both of you froze.

“Get the fuck over here, Yoongi.”

You recognized her. She might be wearing a different dress and a different coat, but it was the same woman all right, with the same harsh scowl.

“I knew you wouldn’t be a man and face the music. Instead, you went off prancing with some whore.”

“She’s not a whore,” Yoongi muttered, pulling up his face mask.

You didn’t say anything. There was a sudden pressure on your chest, an overwhelming, tense heaviness, because you knew what was coming.

“Are you telling me that you’re not going to come home to the woman you supposedly love, the one you were supposedly going to marry and give a comfortable life to?” the woman accused. “Are you telling me that you can’t take responsibility for your actions? That you’re not a man, but a child?”

Yoongi took a step towards her.

The weight in your chest felt like a ton of bricks crushing you.

Another step.

“Yoongi.”

He turned his head, dark brown eyes flickering to you.

You smiled.

Smiled even though the moment was killing you.

“I… I have to finish this,” he mumbled, the sparkle in his eyes dulling with every passing second.

You kept the bright smile on your face.

Like a cheerful-sounding song with sad lyrics.

“Okay.”

Pause.

You wanted to rewind. You wanted to rewind so bad, even if it was only to ten minutes before this painful moment. With a shaking hand, you pressed play.

“My door is always open for you, Yoongi.”

He made eye contact with you. He nodded.

“Goodbye.”

You turned and ran.

Ran and ran, hoping he was running after you, but you knew he wasn’t, you knew he was walking towards that toxic woman and you could do nothing about it, you couldn’t care, you just had to keep running, running and running until you hit your front door, fumbling with your keys and running inside, slamming the door closed.

You froze.

You wanted to scream.

Instead, you ran to your room and threw up a specific playlist, a playlist full of cheerful-sounding songs with agonizing lyrics, hopeful beats tainted by upsetting words, and danced the night away, danced and danced. Not wanting to think about the blankets on the couch, the suitcase you had dragged out to let Yoongi borrow and put his clothes in, not wanting to think about his toothbrush on your bathroom sink, not wanting to think about all those nights dancing stupidly in this bedroom with him, and focusing only on dancing alone, singing the night away, on and on and on until you couldn’t stand anymore, couldn’t sing anymore, and you just fell on your bed and passed out, completely drained.

Physically.

Emotionally.

Empty.

-

3.

--

masterpost

[jikookuntold]

Jungkook and His Cover Songs: Is “10000 Hours” about Jimin?

Disclaimer: The following post includes theories, lyric and numeric analysis, plus my personal opinions, so please don’t take anything seriously. I’m too lazy to upload photos and videos for the moments I mentioned here, but I’m sure you know about them all. Any Jikooker must know. And I’m not Korean or a Korean culture expert, I just know as much as any Stan Twitter ARMY knows about their culture.

Anyone?

Maybe one of the biggest Jikook moments of 2021 so far, is where Jimin jumped into Jungkook’s hug, in Lee Hyun’s Vlog. But the other moment on that Vlog was even more significant; Jungkook was singing “Anyone” from Justin Bieber’s new album, and Jimin was harmonizing with him while holding on his shirt. I don’t want to mention their interview moment singing “Peaches” because I know this song is super popular in South Korea right now and somehow it doesn’t count as a moment. But it’s safe to say that Jikook has something special with his songs, and JK in particular always was invested in him. 

JK & JB

The reason behind Jungkook’s devotion to Justin Bieber was always a big question for me, and I got my answer not long time ago. Jungkook’s playlist for Melon Radio Station included a song from JB’s new album named “Lonely”. This is one of the most personal songs any artist can ever make, and JK recommended it to his audience. Here are the lyrics of “Lonely” by Justin Bieber:

Everybody knows my name now

But somethin' 'bout it still feels strange

Like lookin' in a mirror, tryna steady yourself

And seein' somebody else

And everything is not the same now

It feels like all our lives have changed

Maybe when I'm older, it'll all calm down

But it's killin' me now

What if you had it all, but nobody to call?

Maybe then you'd know me

'Cause I've had everything

But no one's listening

And that's just lonely

I'm so lonely, lonely

Everybody knows my past now

Like my house was always made of glass

And maybe that's the price you pay

For the money and fame at an early age

And everybody saw me sick

And it felt like no one gave

They criticized the things I did as an idiot kid

What if you had it all, but nobody to call?

Maybe then you'd know me

'Cause I've had everything

But no one's listening

And that's just lonely

These lyrics made me think of one specific thing, the thing that JK and JB have in common: They started their careers at a very young age, and their lives have been under the scrutiny of so many people. These people judged and criticized them but never tried to understand them. The lyrics are straightforward and leave no place for interpretation. By recommending this song, JK showed that he had (and probably still has) the same experiences in his life, and I think the reason he recommends or covers JB’s songs more than any other artist is that he has many things in common with him, and feels connected to his songs. 

This can lead us to another theory: By covering a Justin Bieber song, Jungkook shares something about himself with us, something that he can’t express directly.

Jungkook is interested in JB’s songs, but he is not the only one. As I said earlier in this post, Jimin shares the same taste with Jungkook, and my receipt is not just that “Anyone” or “Peaches” harmonizing moments, but also Jimin’s Spotify playlists. Since 2017 (or earlier, I’m not sure about this part) he has added some JB songs to his official playlist, and even his current playlist (July 2021) has two JB songs. And also let’s not forget the fact that Jikook as a subunit started in 2014 with a JB cover. Yes, I’m talking about “Mistletoe” and as you may know, Jimin translated the lyrics of this song to Korean. 

10000 Hours

Nearly 700 words and I haven’t started yet! The subject of this post was supposed to be the connections between “10000 hours” cover and Jikook but this prelude was necessary to clarify all the aspects of the topic and we find out how JB is special for JK and Jimin and how they (especially Jungkook) feel connected to him. Anyways, back to 10000 hours:

Dan + Shay and Justin Bieber released this Grammy winner song in October 2019. Here are the lyrics: 

Do you love the rain, does it make you dance

When you're drunk with your friends at a party

What's your favorite song, does it make you smile

Do you think of me?

When you close your eyes, tell me, what are you dreamin'?

Everything, I wanna know it all

I'd spend ten thousand hours and ten thousand more

Oh, if that's what it takes to learn that sweet heart of yours

And I might never get there, but I'm gonna try

If it's ten thousand hours or the rest of my life

I'm gonna love you

Do you miss the road that you grew up on?

Did you get your middle name from your grandma?

When you think about your forever now, do you think of me?

When you close your eyes, tell me, what are you dreamin'?

Everything, I wanna know it all

I'd spend ten thousand hours and ten thousand more

Oh, if that's what it takes to learn that sweet heart of yours

And I might never get there, but I'm gonna try

If it's ten thousand hours or the rest of my life

I'm gonna love you

Ooh, want the good and the bad and everything in between

Ooh, gotta cure my curiosity

Ooh, yeah

I'd spend ten thousand hours and ten thousand more

Oh, if that's what it takes to learn that

Sweet heart of yours

And I might never get there, but I'm gonna try

If it's ten thousand hours or the rest of my life

I'm gonna love you

And I'm gonna love you

As you can see, the lyrics are 100% romantic, and the singers including JB, have dedicated this song to their lovers. Also, their girlfriends/wives have a cameo in the MV, which leaves no place for speculation for the context of the song: Even though the uncertainties always exist and no one knows about the future, our love is strong and will stay strong regardless of time. 

The Cover and the Theories

Nearly one year later, on July 28th, 2020, Jungkook surprised ARMYs with a short video he tweeted at 11:56 AM. That video was a 49 seconds cover of 10000 hours. A few minutes later, he deleted the tweet (apparently with the advertisement excuses, because it was tweeted from an iPhone and they have a contract with Samsung). Later that night, Jungkook released the full version on Sound Cloud and tweeted the link at 11:47 PM. 

Jikookers discovered numerous theories that day about the times of both tweets; if you add the digits of the time, the result is “13” for both tweets 1+1+4+7=13, 1+1+5+6=13, and as you already know “13” is Jikook’s magic number. Also, the first video he tweeted was 49 seconds and 4+9=13. But in my opinion, this theory is not strong. I know that numerology is very popular in Korean culture but still, all of this can be coincidences, but the other things I’m going to bring up are most likely not. 

28th July 2020 was the 7th anniversary of the first Jikook selca posted after debut. This also might be a coincidence and to be honest, it cannot be a strong link to make a connection with Jikook, but worths sharing. 

The next thing that many Jikookers also pointed out, was related to the title of the song. The lyrics say “10000 hours and 10000 more” and 20000 hours after the 28th of July is 8th November 2022. As you may know. Jikookers believe November 8th is a significant date for Jikook. I believe this can be a coincidence either, and it’s very unlikely of Jungkook to do such calculations (Koreans are interested in numbers when it comes to days and dates, but counting hours is not usual in any culture. Other than that, I’m still doubtful about the origins of the November 8th theory because we have nothing other than two tweets and G.C.F Tokyo release date and their hotel room in Tokyo which still can be coincidental). But I don’t deny these theories because even as a coincidence, it’s still very interesting. 

And the next theory is connected to the “Red Moon”. On 27th July 2018, a total lunar eclipse happened all over the world, which became known as the red moon. At that time, BTS were in Malta, and on the same night, Jikook were watching the red moon on a boat. They shared plenty of photos and videos of that moment and I’m sure as a Jikooker you have seen them all and you know that night had a very romantic mood (BigHit words, not mine) for Jikook. So, a second anniversary for that night and the day after that night can be a significant date to release a very romantic cover. Is this a coincidence too? I think we had many of them already.

And last but not least is something connected to Korean culture. You probably know that 1000 days anniversaries are very important for Koreans and they celebrate them along with real anniversaries of the important dates in their lives. And guess what? 27th July 2020 is 1000 days after 31 October 2017. This day is the day Jikook’s travel to Tokyo ended and they posted their couply mirror selca on Twitter with flower bouquet emoji. Despite the one-day difference (the same case for the red moon anniversary), this is not a minor event or small coincidence. I believe Jungkook posted “10000 hour” cover for this reason and based on this, the other theories I mentioned earlier can be true either. 

The lyrics hit different if you read them again, after knowing this fact. Right? I don’t want to make this post much longer but before wrapping up, I want to talk about the lyrics of “Anyone” by JB (the song Jikook were harmonizing in Lee Hyun’s Vlog):

Dance with me under the diamonds

See me like breath in the cold

Sleep with me here in the silence

Come kiss me, silver and gold

You say that I won't lose you

But you can't predict the future

So, just hold on like you will never let go

Yeah, if you ever move on without me

I need to make sure you know that

You are the only one I'll ever love

(I gotta tell ya, gotta tell ya)

Yeah, you, if it's not you, it's not anyone

(I gotta tell ya, gotta tell ya)

Looking back on my life

You're the only good I've ever done (ever done)

Yeah, you, if it's not you, it's not anyone (anyone)

Not anyone

Forever's not enough time to (oh)

Love you the way that I want (love you the way that I want)

'Cause every morning I find you (oh)

I fear the day that I don't

You say that I won't lose you

But you can't predict the future

'Cause certain things are out of our control

Yeah, if you ever move on without me

I need to make sure you know that

You are the only one I'll ever love

Only one (I gotta tell ya, gotta tell ya)

Yeah, you, if it's not you it's not anyone

(I gotta tell ya, gotta tell ya)

Looking back on my life

You're the only good I've ever done (I've ever done)

Yeah, you, if it's not you, it's not anyone

It's not anyone, not anyone

Oh, oh, oh, oh

If it's not you, it's not anyone

Oh, oh, oh, yeah, whoa

Yeah, you are the only one I'll ever love

(I gotta tell ya, gotta tell ya)

Yeah, you, if it's not you, it's not anyone

(I gotta tell ya, gotta tell ya) gotta tell ya

Looking back on my life

You're the only good I've ever done (ever done, oh, yeah)

Yeah, you, if it's not you, it's not anyone

If you read the lyrics, you will notice that the context is very similar to “10000 hours”. It talks about the uncertainties of a beautiful love or in other words: No matter what the future brings to us, this love will last forever. 

This context of uncertainty and unknown future for a romance is a common concept in many of the songs Jungkook has covered and it’s not limited to the Justin Bieber covers he has done and maybe this concept can be the topic for my next analysis. 

[graphite1127]

hey. HEY! make that k-pop post you want to do!

I am so glad you asked!

I like k-pop, and I’m tired of pretending I don’t. I recognize that there are problems within the community, but I want to get it off my chest that I still enjoy it as a genre. I say this because it’s literally the only “fandom” I’m a part of that I’m not open about.

It’s hard to put into words, but I’m going to try. Because I think I know why I never talk about it as one of my interests, and it has everything to do with the obvious:

- Some fans are insane (and not just about shipping real people)

- The unrealistic beauty standards are always right in your face

- Idols are pushed to the point of developing eating disorders among other things; their lives are very restricted.

These are serious problems. They can’t be ignored and brushed aside, so when you say you like k-pop, you risk others assuming that you condone all the bad stuff that comes with it. There’s a negative stigma.

This is not a post apologizing for other people’s behavior. If anything, I’m trying to call it out. Like maybe if I bring attention to what the actual problem is, we can help fix it.

I was very hesitant to get into k-pop. When I was being introduced, it was via someone I barely knew who was obsessive in a way that made me uncomfortable. I thought, “This community is not okay. K-pop is a nightmare.”

But much later, when my sister got into it, I backtracked and thought to myself, “You know, I’ve been a part of fanbases that are less than ideal. Maybe I’ll just check it out and it won’t be that bad.” And it really wasn’t.

There was so much variety within the music. The music videos were so much more interesting (I never watched mv’s that much before because they seemed really dull, but now I love them). The groups dance as well as sing. And there’s overall just so much content. It gave me more entertainment that actually made me happy.

I think that’s the part of it that I’m trying to spread to others. The music itself and the group members are overall very uplifting! And I found myself getting more and more into it as time went on. The more you watch/listen, the more you enjoy and all that. Even my mom really enjoys it, and it’s given us more to talk about.

And if k-pop just isn’t something that piqued your interest? For no particular reason? That’s okay! This post isn’t to pressure you to suddenly enjoy it; I’m mostly just ranting with no direction.

Maybe this is a cry for help. Like, if better people become involved with it, we can lessen the toxicity? Fuck if I know. Again, this is a directionless rant. There is no clear purpose. I tend to ramble and I’m sorry. Maybe someone else can put it into better words instead of sounding like a 12-year-old defending pewdiepie or some shit.

But yeah, if you were on the fence about it and don’t know where to start, I’ll list a bunch of stuff in a bit.

Bottom line: Please acknowledge the problems within the k-pop community. They need to be addressed and fixed. Also please understand where the problems stem from.

The problem isn’t this:

It’s this:

Don’t be a jerk! Enjoy stuff, but not at the expense of others - i.e. working idols to the brink of exhaustion, obsessing over them, not letting them live their own lives, sending death threats and hate comments, bashing others because you really like one group in particular. Cause that shit is insane and though I know for certain the majority are good people, the bad ones stick out like a sore thumb and leave a much greater impact.

Be one of the good ones! There’s lots of genres of k-pop, so here’s some stuff that I personally enjoy if you’re interested:

No Rules - TXT (check out the dance practice for this one too if you want) This one’s been in my head all week. It’s your average pop song but it is so so catchy.

God’s Menu - Stray Kids rap/hip hop, it goes hard, one of my favorites

Singularity - V This is actually by BTS, but it’s a solo song by V. It has an R&B vibe to it if you’re into that *chef’s kiss*

Dumb Dumb - Red Velvet Their music videos are always some of my favorites.

K.O. - SF9 The dance practice for this one is one of the best I have ever seen. It’s what I’ve linked. Right off the bat, they start with this crazy pinwheel thing. It’s really neat.

Shoot Me- Day6 has an alternative rock feel to it. This group actually plays instruments. They’re a band-band.

Hot Sauce - NCT Dream This one has a latin pop vibe to it, very fun and upbeat

Other favorites of mine:

-Humph! by Pentagon

-Mansae by Seventeen

-Drunk-Dazed by Enhypen

-Awkward Silence by Stray Kids

-Ugh! by BTS

-Mic Drop also by BTS

-Ko Ko Bop by EXO

-Make a Wish by NCT U

-Married to the Music by SHINee

-We Do by SuperM

-Very Good by Block B

(Among many others)

Uh, so yeah. I’m not sure where else to go with this. I just have a lot of feelings and I don’t know how else to share them. Thank you for coming to my ted talk. Send tweet.

[thebluesideofmyworld]

Let's Fall In Love for the Night

Summary: Will just broke up with his boyfriend. Nico offered some consolation. It ended up with some sort of a confession.

Word count: 2500 words || Rating: Teenage and Up Audiences || Read on AO3

Notes: Heavily inspired by "Let's Fall in Love for the Night" by FINNEAS. The first time I heard this song I could only think of Nico pining for Will. And somehow, watching the MV made me think of Will Solace.

***

It was past eleven in the evening when Nico’s phone lit up, Will’s name on the screen. Nico picked it up. Despite the small fluttering in his chest, he forcefully told himself not to feel too excited. It's nothing special. Will could call him any time of the day (or night). They're best friends.

(Didn’t mean that the word friend could sometimes feel so bitter for Nico)

“Hey, ‘Sup?”

“Oh, hey. You’re not sleeping yet?”

Nico rolled his eyes. “As if you don’t know about me and my sleeping schedule.”

“Ah, the one that I’ve been trying to fix?”

Nico snorted. This was one of the topics that they have gone through for too many times.

“Hey, Neeks. I know that it’s late…”

“It is.”

Will let out a laugh. The kind of strained, forced laugh. Nico immediately straightened up on the couch.

“Will? Everything’s alright?”

Will didn’t say anything for a while, but Nico could hear his slow, heavy breathing. Nico clutched the phone in his hand.

“Hey, Neeks. Can you come over? I think I need a pick-me-up” Will asked, voice heavy with hesitation and uncertainty. But as Nico stood up, his answer was a firm one.

“I’ll be there in 25.”

***

Nico hated the sight he saw when the door swung open. The tips of Will's lips curled up into a smile when he greeted Nico. But it's the kind of smile that Nico despised. It was a hollow smile, that didn't reach Will's eyes.

“Go get your jacket,” Nico said.

Will raised his eyebrows, still holding the doorknob.

“What?”

“Go get your jacket. We’re going out. Looks like you need some fresh air.”

“At midnight?”

“At midnight.”

Will sighed.

“Okay,” he said. But there was a small smile on his lips.

Nico smiled.

A few minutes later, Will showed up with his blue jacket and blue beanie (it's a nice color on Will. Not that it's important or anything). He had his ukulele in his hand as he walked out of the door.

“Who said you can bring your ukulele?”

Will shrugged as he locked the door. “Well, nobody said that I couldn’t bring it with me.”

Nico rolled his eyes but the small smile on Will’s lips made his heart forgot to beat for a second.

“I’m ready,” Will said, slipping his hands into the pocket of his jacket.

“Come on,” Nico said. “Let’s go and see the stars.”

***

There was just something about the lights of the city that gave Nico a sense of calmness. That’s why Nico brought Will here, to the hill on the outskirts of the city. They’re sitting on the roof of Nico’s car, legs dangling down as they gazed at the velvet night sky. Nico stole a glance at Will, who was sitting a few inches from him.

Will was leaning back on his hands, looking up to the sky. His profile under the silvery moonlight looked almost ethereal.

Will took a deep breath and let out a long sigh. Nico quickly looked away.

“I think you already knew what this would be all about, I guess…” Will said, still looking up at the night sky.

Nico hummed.

He already had a guess. A good guess.

(Didn't mean that he would ever stop listening to whatever it was that Will needed to vent about)

(Didn't mean that he would ever stop telling Will that he should've just walked away and left that piece of shit that for some absurd reasons that Nico could never, ever fathom, had this blessing of being Will's boyfriend)

(Also, didn’t mean that Nico would ever tell Will one of the main reasons why it would be really delightful if Will just leave Octavian)

(Why would he ever tell Will that he loved Will, though? Why would he ever tell Will that he would do everything, anything to call Will as his?)

“But you know you can always talk with me about it, right?” Nico said, stealing another glance at Will before mirroring Will and stared at the night sky.

Will let out a chuckle. He took a deep breath and let it out.

“Well, guess what? I think this would be the last time you hear about it.”

Nico snapped his head to Will, eyebrows slightly furrowed. Will was already staring at him, a bitter smile on his lips.

“It’s over. Or should I say, it’s finally over,” Will said, answering the question that Nico didn’t have a chance to ask.

Nico blinked. His brain frantically trying to process what it meant. Should he feel relieved? Should he feel sorry for Will? Should he-

“Is it the part where I said ‘I’ve told you so?” Nico asked.

Will chuckled but said nothing to that. He looked up to the sky again.

“The stars are beautiful tonight,” he said, this time in a lighter tone. As if he didn’t just tell Nico that he just broke up with his boyfriend for two years.

“Do you know that we’re basically made from stars?” Will turned to look at Nico, sparkles in his eyes.

Nico raised his eyebrows. “Really?”

Will hummed as he nodded. “Yeah. So basically, Carl Sagan, a very cool dude, he said that all organic matters, and that definitely involves us since we’re all made of organic stuff comes from stars.” And Will started to ramble about how materials were formed in the sky and big bang theory and stuff like the nerd he was.

Nico loved it when Will was talking some nerdy shit like that. Or maybe he loved that nerdy shit because it was Will the one talking about it.

After a while, it was another silence. But this time, it was like a comfort blanket, embracing them in this sense of calmness under the stars.

“I can actually stare at the night sky forever,” Will said, and let out a long sigh. He took his ukulele, and started playing some tunes.

Nico raised an eyebrow as he recognized the tune.

“I know that song,” he said turning his head to look at Will. Will looked back at him. Under the moonlight, his smile was soft but his eyes twinkled.

“Sing, then.”

Nico snorted. But Will kept his eyes at his.

“Sing for me, please?”

(Sometimes Nico hated himself for not being able to refuse Will whenever he had that look in his eyes.)

Nico rolled his eyes, but Will’s smile got wider as he knew he got what he wanted without even arguing for it.

“Please?”

Nico huffed. “Oh well, only because you asked nicely,” he said, half-hoping that his fake annoyed tone was good enough.

Will smiled.

(Nico wondered whether Will has ever realized that there were stars trapped in his eyes, in his smile.)

Nico took a deep breath, and slowly let it out.

“I'm blind and afraid, the colors of this sound like a shape,” he started to sing. “The feast of words you never could say, and I'm torn apart.”

Nico kept on singing, next to Will who was playing the ukulele. Nico kept his eyes at the dark night, at the twinkling stars.

(Nico wondered whether Will ever realized that when he smiled, it’s like he had stars twinkling in his eyes)

“You got mirth, I got bravado...” Nico sang the last line of the song softly, almost whispering.

And then silence fell again, blanketed them with peace and quiet.

“It’s late,” Nico finally said after a while. He turned his head a little to glance at Will. The blond guy seemed to be deep in thought, staring at the horizon as he held his ukulele close to his chest.

“Will?”

“How have you been doing, Neeks?” Will asked, turning his head to Nico. But this time, his blue eyes had this intensity that almost made Nico forgot to breathe.

“Huh?”

“Tell me about your life. What have you been up to.”

Nico blinked, and then he shook his head a little, bemused.

Next to him, Will continued talking. “I feel like I’ve been such a bad friend for you. For the last couple of months, it’s always been about me and Octavian and how our relationship sucks. We never talked about you. You never told me anything about yourself.”

“Hey, we talk. About work. TVs. Movies. Leo being stupid. About Jason being madly in love with Piper. We talk, Will.”

Will snorted. “No. We talk about me. About other people. We never talk about you, Neeks.”

Nico rolled his eyes. “What’s there to talk about me?”

(Obviously not about he has been pining for Will for so long. Nope. They would not talk about that)

Will shrugged his shoulders. “Anything. Everything. Just tell me things about you.”

“Like what?”

“Like…are you seeing someone?”

“No.”

Once the word fell out from his lips, was exactly when Nico realized he answered it too quickly to make it sound casual. He cleared his throat.

“I mean, no?” Nico cringed when he realized that this time, he made it sound like a question.

“Why not?” Will asked, turning his head to look at Nico, curiosity in his eyes.

Nico stayed silent. Instead of staring back at Will, he fixed his eyes at his black combat boots.

“Have you ever been in love, though?”

Yes. No. Maybe. Nico didn’t know.

Nico lifted his head up as he inhaled deeply. He let it out in a long exhale.

“I don’t know,” he said. (The only thing that he knew was that every time he heard that stupid word he could only think of Will).

There was another silence for a moment, but somehow, somehow Nico could just feel there is this tension between them. Nico carefully angled his neck, stealing a glance at Will. There was this strange, intense expression on Will's face, like he was thinking so hard about something.

“Will?”

“You’re going to hate me for what I’m about to say,” Will said, suddenly turned his head to Nico. And even in the dark night, Nico could see the fiery intensity in those blue eyes.

It made him shiver.

Nico cleared his throat. He schooled his face into the most nonchalant expression that he could. He’s trained for this. Hiding his feeling was something that Nico did really, really well.

“If you’re setting me up with one of your friends again then yes, I would definitely hate you. I’ve had enough of Jason and Percy shoving some random guys to me.”

“No. That’s not it.”

Okay. This was serious. Will was supposed to laugh at the fact that the way Nico's cousins were way too invested in his love life.

Nico’s brows furrowed. “What is it, then?”

Will’s lips thinned into a thin line as he kept his eyes at Nico. That fire in his eyes burned even brighter.

It made Nico’s heart suddenly race and his brain freeze.

“Nico, let’s fall in love with each other.”

Nico’s heart stopped, and lurched into his stomach.

(It was ironically funny, how he had been dreaming about something like this, yet he could not believe it when it happened)

(Did it really happen?)

Nico blinked. Once. Twice.

He shook his head.

“No.”

“Why not?”

“You’re not serious Will.”

“I am. Serious. Really serious.”

Nico stared at Will. His brain froze.

Will bit his lower lip. He shifted a bit. Just a bit. Carefully, he moved his hand, reached out for Nico’s hand and covered it.

Nico wanted to hold his hand back. God, he really wanted to.

He didn’t hold Will’s hand back. He knew better than that. He knew better than giving in to the illusion of calling Will as his.

“I’m serious Nico. I mean it.”

“No, you don’t.”

“Can’t you fall in love with me?”

Nic wanted to laugh and scream and laugh because of how stupid, how absurd that question was.

Can’t you fall in love with me, Will asked, when Nico would do anything, anything for Will.

“Will… This wasn’t the right time-“

Will tightened his hand on Nico’s. “Why?”

Nico shook his head. "Will, you just broke up with your boyfriend. You're emotionally unstable right now. You probably think that you fall for me but then you'll wake up in the morning and regret everything-“

“The only thing that I regret is just that it took me so long to realize.”

That made Nico falls silent. He stared at Will, his heart went back into a crazy race in his chest.

Will squeezed his hand. “Okay, maybe it’s not the only thing that I regret. I regret that I was too stupid to realize that I should have broken up with Octavian a long time ago. I regret that we didn't meet sooner. I just…," Will paused and shook his head. "Oh God, I wish, how I wish that we had met sooner."

Nico’s brain still failed him. Which was stupid. So many things were running in his mind right now yet he couldn’t think of any words to say.

“Can I make you fall in love with me? Or at least, can you give me a chance to try my best to make you fall in love with me?”

Will shifted even closer to Nico now, their shoulders were brushing. He brought Nico’s hand that he’s been holding to his chest. Nico could feel Will’s heartbeat and it was just so surreal, like a fragile, vulnerable dream.

“Can you give us a chance to try? To see if we can fall in love with each other?”

Nico held his eyes at Will’s. At the blue eyes that he had been dreaming of for so many nights.

For over twenty years of his life, Nico had made so many dumb and foolish decisions. Was this going to be just another one of those?

Nico closed his eyes for a moment as he took a deep breath. He opened his eyes slowly. Will was still staring at him with stars trapped in his hopeful eyes.

“This is not going to be something that you will forget in the morning, right?”

Will’s smile was soft and tender as he shook his head.

“No. Mornings are just going to be a reminder of how I have promised that I will show you what I feel for you.”

Nico wanted to say something beautifully eloquent. Something that could make Will understand how much this meant to him. But he knew that words were beyond this.

“Okay,” Nico said. This time he let himself take a chance and held Will’s hand back. “Okay,” he repeated. “Let’s try it. Let’s try to fall in love with each other, from tonight…”

“And promise that we’ll never forget it in the morning light,” Will whispered. He brought Nico’s hand to his lips, and placed a soft, lingering kiss on his knuckles.

Will cupped Nico’s cheek with his other hand. Nico closed his eyes, and as he felt Will’s warm lips over his, he let himself fall into this thing called love.

***

Additional Notes:

Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed it :). Reblogs, replies or any other feedbacks are much appreciated ALWAYS made my day :')

The lyric that Nico sang was from "epitaph" by Hippocampus. I swear I would write another fic based on that song. (Also please listen to that song. It's just a great great GREAT song)

I find it easier for me to write a fic based on songs. So if you have a song in mind that reminds you of Nico/Will, mind to share it with me? I'd love to hear your thoughts about songs that have the Solangelo vibes!

[inchandescence]

To Anon

Question:  Yeolmaes hate baekhyun mostly because his stans are the ones sending most hate to chanyeol and baekhyun never said anything about it, instead he kinda validated their feelings by not showing up to the box premiere, avoiding mentioning him at all costs and straight up saying he doesnt like musical movies Understand that yeolmaes have to deal with hundreds of hate messages written in Korean everyday and they are at a breaking point considering most of them come from bbh’s own fans How is it possible to like chanyeol and baekhyun at the same time in a situation like this? Do you even take chanyeol feelings into consideration? No? Not even once? He has to deal with thousands of nasty comments coming from bbh fanbase while bbh comes on Twitter reminding them how cute they are and how much he loves them If you cbkists choose to ignore this and baekhyun is actually in a relationship with Pcy it just means that you all couldn’t give less of a shit about chanyeol as a person with feelings and are just a bunch of selfish pricks

Answer: Anon...sighs you can't see something from one point of view only really, but it's okay i get you, ok so let us talk about this one by one: 1. You said: Yeolmaes hate baekhyun the most because his stans are the ones sending most hate to chanyeol and baekhyun never say anything about it -When you perceive the assumption that baekhyun stans hate chanyeol the most, did u believe it right or did u question it, like why its baekhyun stans, if its true then since when they started hating chanyeol, and why do they hate chanyeol, does their reason make sense or its just stupid like how other bbhls who hate other exo members too (for example some bbhls hate jd bcs both are main vocalists and they think jd is stealing bh's spot as a vocalist) -But at the same time, we cant find the exact number that would proof that bbhls are the ones who hate chanyeol the most, we only can see what twitter shows us, and it happened to me too that i see bbhls throw hate to chanyeol the most -But at the same time too, I've been seeing yeolmaes who throw hate at baekhyun too since years ago without me knowing the reason why they do that, and I keep questioning it everytime why yeolmaes suddenly started hating baekhyun so bad, when did it start -AND at the same time too, I've been seeing other exo member stans throwing hate to either baekhyun or chanyeol -But my twitter algorithm is the same as you anon, it shows that bbhls hate chanyeol the most and yeolmaes hate baekhyun the most, so I do often make the assumption that bbhls and yeolmaes are always on each other's throat -But yet again, I don't know who started hating the first time, is it bbhls, is it yeolmaes, and why they did that -This knowledge is unknown to me so based on this, to me the most right way is to think that both sides are wrong because hating is always the worse way to deal with things, the fact that we know is chanyeol and baekhyun are good friends they are always there for each other, usually when ppl see im saying this they will say its fake and its fan service, but people can choose to not see what they dont wanna see, so the easiest proofs to prove that chanyeol and baekhyun are good friends is one chanyeol is the only member in exo that baekhyun wished happy birthday on his instagram, two both of them support each other for candy and 1 billion views by coming to the mv bts, three baekhyun and chanyeol go to vocal lessons together, four chanyeol had taken a photo with all of baekhyun's bucheon friends before so in that photo baekhyun, chanyeol, and baekhyun's bucheon friends (istg if people see these as fan service then it doesnt make sense right?)

Before we go to the next thing, I have this assumption that chanyeol and baekhyun are two members that have the highest popularity in sk, either they are the top 3 or top 4, and my reason is bcs everytime there are individual album/photobook covers sold offline, their individual covers sold out the fastest, everytime, even with nature republic stuffs, ok so there's this possibility that we keep seeing yeolmaes and bbhls on each other's throat everytime bcs well both of them are two of the most popular exo members in SK (i mean even in china, chanyeol and baekhyun are the most popular members with sehun, there's data for this)

2. You said: Baekhyun never say anything about this, he kinda "validated their feelings by not showing up to the box premiere and voiding mentioning him at all costs and straight up saying he doesnt like musical movies"

-First of all, let's look at a bigger picture, is there any idol in the k-industry like ANY IDOL that ever said to their fans "guys don't say that to my member" IS THERE. ANY.? what I know is: there is none, none at all zero zip nothing, and if there's at least one or two idols, then its just one or two idols right -And thats it anon, thats just about it, idols dont have the absolute freedom of speech, they never do, and its hurting them all of them, all they can say is: "I love EXO, I miss EXO members the most, EXO is my home" and most solo stans who see that will just say "its bs" yet solo stans are also asking for proofs that the members relationship are fine -None of these kpop idols ever say anything about hate speech from their fans that are thrown to their friends/bandmates, and this kind of thing happens in every fandom anon, not just chanyeol and baekhyun, it's just how korean entertainment industry is, idols never have the ultimate freedom to say or do anything

3. Not showing up to the box premiere, avoiding mentioning him, saying he doesnt like musical movies -That not showing up to the box premiere really changed the way you think huh anon, yeah I think that event also changed many yeolmaes' perspectives sighs okay, not showing up to the box premiere is like a very open information we can easily see it from one tweet that didnt mention baekhyun name during that event -BUT for other cases "avoid mentioning him" and "saying he doesnt like musical movies" is not a very open information, by this i mean u have to read alllll of the things baekhyun say, look at the trans for all of his vlives/shows/etc, read the whole trans for baekhyun's last vlive before he goes to the military, so u or other yeolmaes after that situation are either trying to "search for baekhyun's act or words that deny fans opinion about how they hate each other" bcs u still "have hope in baekhyun" or "search for baekhyun's act or words that support my perspective about how he hates chanyeol and never defend cy from bbhls" -"Validate their feelings" how? once again, it's just what bbhls think, did baekhyun do and say all of that because well "his motive is to support bbhls that hate chanyeol" and who are you, who are we to say that, are we our bias? can we go inside their minds and goes aha! this is why they do this and that! well no. because once again thats the entertainment industry, the chances for idols to "explain" all of the bad situations esp when its about how their fans act, is very veryyy low, or like the chance is even minus

-We are just fans who watch them on cam, without knowing what's on their mind or what is everything they are going through behind the camera, we know nothing, all of our opinions are just perspective that our mind created that turned into assumptions, we could never know the truth because kpop industry prevents their artist from showing the truths that may "hurt" people, who actually deserve to be hurt, but those people are the "money makers" for the company, it's bad it's toxic it's awful that just bcs they have to "maintain the money makers" idols can never get that freedom -Same goes with baekhyun, gdi we dont know him, we really really dont know him, his mind, his motives and reasons for his actions, who are we to judge him and call him selfish? -But what we know is baekhyun helping to defend chanyeol when that fake rumor was spreading by tweeting the mosquito thing, what we know is baekhyun and chanyeol doing their choreo for DFTF together that was practiced since early 2021 until before they enlist, what we know is baekhyun saying chanyeol he's fine when fans asked on japanese fansign, what we know is them still doing vocal lessons together, going to vocal lesson tgt too on march after the box premiere (bcs chanyeol's hair was grey in the vlog) before they enlist, what we know is baekhyun loving and singing "tomorrow" tgt with chanyeol, so what we know is they keep spending time with each other as bandmates and friends 

"do you ever take chanyeol's feeling into consideration, you all couldnt give less of a shit about chanyeol as person with feelings and are just a bunch of selfish pricks" 1. Baekhyun tweeting that mosquito tweet to defend chanyeol -Responses>> People went: oh he's just defending himself, he's being selfish once again, he doesnt care about chanyeol 2. Baekhyun answering fans question about chanyeol's condition -Responses>> No one translated this after few days OP has translated Original post Jan 29: https://twitter.com/tomo_exo/status/1355177834185064451?s=20 First ever translation on FEB 13 (AND FROM A CBKIST): https://twitter.com/NTH_2705/status/1360626904756228096?s=20 Also this cbkist isnt always active translating, I know her, she's not on Twitter as much as other trans account and she doesnt understand japanese, so she actually found the post on weibo and translated it from chinese thats why it was translated 2 weeks after, but before her? does ANY account translate this? well no. 3. Baekhyun and Chanyeol doing choreo in DFTF tgt -No BTS, no anything from SM, people who hate seeing them tgt can ignore easily, chanbaek stans can only watch the part over and over 4. Baekhyun and Chanyeol practicing their hitting the woah part in just usual mv -Again no one commented about this, except chanbaek stans bcs this is easily ignored 5. Lesson With Baekhyun -Responses>> yeolmaes went "chanyeol don't do this, chanyeol im not watching this, chanyeol what are you doing, i want chanyeol only, oh god why is chanyeol with him again, chanyeol is feeding chanbaekist, his fans (bbhls) gonna come at us again, fuck this im not watching" and bbhls went "the translation is wrong look theyre trying to sabotage bbh" and yeolmaes replied with "good for him haha, ya serves him right for being selfish" and also "why is it always chanyeol who does this kind of thing and never baekhyun? oh right because hes selfish hes sm golden boy he never gonna do this bcs his channel is own by SM" "look he promoted kyoongtube even in the nng" "look SM posted kyoongtube but not NNG u can see whos the mistreated one him"

All of those 5 things I mentioned, even tho some are small things....they got mostly negative responses from yeolmaes and bbhls who are not cbkist dont they? The things that prove chanyeol and baekhyun are always there for each other and they are bandmates, true friends, nothing change between them And yet, what did bbhls and yeolmaes do? Throw negative shits and comments to those things, esp Lesson With Baekhyun, and until now still hate Baekhyun... when Lesson With Baekhyun, is a vlog recorded by Chanyeol alone, he taped his phone in the car, he added Candy MV BTS with Baekhyun calling him "chanyeol ah" and baekhyun smiling while holding the food, a vlog where he praised baekhyun's vocals, prepared playlist for him, sing tomorrow together with him, laughing during their vocal lesson, and just...doing things tgt

And yet people still call it a fanservice? feeding chanbaekist? baekhyun is still selfish? when chanyeol worked hard preparing that vlog, providing it for us, baekhyun and chanyeol practicing their part tgt for DFTF, baekhyun tweeting the mosquito tweet

When Chanyeol and Baekhyun have done so many things together, after the fake rumor, after the box premiere, proving they are still good friends... so do you even take chanyeol's feelings into consideration? oh wait not just feelings, his efforts, his time, him uploading to NNG about him hanging out with Baekhyun, have you ever take that to consideration? or just ignore all those facts because "whatever i still hate baekhyun" 

So two options: 1. Hating and keep hating and telling others selfish because yall hate the fact that baekhyun never do this and that, that yall wanted him to do, but actually we don't know the reason why, we just don't know anything at all, accept assumptions that "baekhyun validated fans feeling" and thats according to you, your mind, your perspective, oh wait... it's all about you? 2. Know and accept and support and love, chanyeol and baekhyun's friendship, because thats what we know, thats what themselves say to us, thats what themselves been doing, accepting the fact that "chanyeol and baekhyun are good friends" and know we are not in the position to turn the friendship into bad relationship bcs what? bcs it comes from chanyeol and baekhyun themselves, not yeolmaes, not bbhls, not even exols, and so be a fan that know chanyeol and baekhyun have good relationship, keep reporting bbhls who said bad things about cy and vice versa, bcs what? we never want chanyeol to see that after lesson with baekhyun, apparently his "fans" still think baekhyun, his best friend and bandmate, is still a selfish person who doesnt care about chanyeol, so chanyeol is happy that we know and appreciate his relationship with baekhyun, with exo members because we care about chanyeol's feelings, because we trust his actions, his words, and we love everything he does, and also we love everyone around chanyeol that he loves

So choose... and last thing, are social media and on cam interactions, are enough to "measure" a group of people's relationships, so if your best friend never post any picture of you on their instagram and never tell stories about you to other people who well, actually are also strangers, living thousand miles away from you and your best friend, then it's okay for those strangers to say that your best friend hates you? avoiding to be affiliated with you? a selfish person? Have people ever think that it's tiring that just because you're a celebrity, you have to show everything, including minds, feelings, emotions, actions, personal reasons, to your fans? For them to be validated? And for them to turn into facts? Well, at least for me, the things I don't know then I don't know, I don't have the right to judge, and the things I know, especially positive things, that came from my own idols, that's what I'm holding on, that's what I support. *extra note: exo members always call us as EXO-Ls, not bbhls, not yeolmaes, not anyone, but EXO-Ls, so when they say they love us, "loved ones" are those who say themselves are EXO-Ls, who loves EXO as 9 members, because that's the fact

Have a good day anon, stay safe and healthy, God bless you, spread love and not hate

[pluvillion]

wrote this from my notes earlier. thought i'd post it here as well in case some of you guys might relate to it.

-------

i know this question sounds very weird and random, but do you guys care about how long a band has been active in making music? like, does it matter to you if the band is already two decades old and you fear that they'll break up sooner than you think due to the band's age? do you also care about the band members' ages?

this is gonna be a long one... but this is me with Ice Nine Kills; a band i recently just discovered. i'm the type of person that quietly whispers "i wish i was there when the band was just starting out" to himself but in INK's case, the band was formed literally two years before i was even BORN. Ice Nine Kills were formed in 2000 and started making music in 2002, so i genuinely had NO SINGLE CLUE what they were doing when my mom still changing my diapers. to put it into perspective, Spencer was 17 when Ice Nine Kills started making music in 2002, he's now 35 and will turn 36 in November.

now that i look back at the early 2010's, i wonder what what would've happened if i already discovered INK by then (Spencer's in his 20's). i guess being a kid at 5th grade with basic music tastes didn't help - i was only listening to Vocaloid and Vocaloid ALONE right before i discovered 5SOS in around 2013-2014... i wasn't even a fan of metal/metalcore that time because everyone around me claimed the songs as "the songs from the devil" or whatever stigma they kept sharing to others. i myself wasn't fond of it either because i preferred colorful and poppy music.

Welcome to Horrorwood: The Silver Scream 2 will be released next month and i'm excited for it... but somehow i wish i discovered them earlier in, say, 2017 or 2018 when The Silver Scream was newly released. i missed out on A LOT just by that album ALONE. heck, maybe even way back in 2013 when they covered Adele's "Someone Like You" would be nice... at least i can proudly tell others that i've been listening and loving the band for almost a decade like i do with 5SOS.

tho, considering Spencer's the only founding member left (most members from the 2000's are gone and only a few from 2010's stayed) and how they recently just joined Fearless Records, i'll make myself believe that the band just started having a steady uphill pace in the early 2010's (which is actually the case) and their name is just starting to be known by everyone. at least that's enough to diminish the fact that i'm as old as the band.

i'll encouter this same phase again with a new band that i'll discover, that's for sure; but honestly, all that matters here is that i love their music and i'll keep supporting them. the fear of them breaking up WILL be there, that's unavoidable, but as long as nothing terrible happens, i'm pretty sure the band will stay as is. if they're still active and is teasing/releasing new music/content, there's nothing to worry about. also, Spencer's almost in his 40's (good lord), but i'll be 23 years old and out of college before that happens and it'll already be 2025. who knows what'll happen before then? i hope Spencer still keeps Ice Nine Kills in his 40's tho 😂

hey, maybe someone out there is making the same note as i do but they're saying how they wish they discovered 5SOS earlier instead of discovering them just last year.

(i'm using this reasoning to prevent myself from sulking terribly because i didn't discover a band or an artist earlier haha). maybe someone in the NEAR FUTURE would write another similar note regarding a now-disbanded 5SOS from the year 2060's instead. who knows?

y'know, with what i said above, sometimes i wish i was born earlier. i can (or maybe can't) only imagine what's happening today if i was already, say, 24 years old or so.

anyways, i thought i'd vent with this note because it's been boggling my mind since this morning. i know i'm thinking about this too much but i just wanted to let this all out instead of letting this shitass of a brain ruin my mood day by day. i keep thinking about time a lot, don't i?

i don't even know why this thought popped up in my head in the first place. is it because most band members of the bands i love right now are in their 30's? is it because Spencer's almost in his 40's? i legitimately have no idea. the thought just popped up in my mind last night as i was watching the lyrics video for "Enjoy Your Slay" and it stayed there bugging me until now as i write this.

one thing's for sure tho, i'm very VERY thankful YouTube recommended me their MV for "SAVAGES" back at June (they somehow got the memo for my love of horror, blood, and gore). i now love Ice Nine Kills and i will keep listening to them even it's already 2030. yeah, i wish i discovered them sooner but hey, i'm here now! can't wait for Welcome to Horrorwood: The Silver Scream 2! i'm pretty sure they'll continue making those short movies to pick up where The Silver Scream 1 left off (which will span for over a year or two or even more i bet).

edit (08/09/21; 6:35 pm): i just looked it up and i learned that Dustin Bates from STARSET (the band that i love so much because they talk about astronomy and science in their songs) is only a year younger than Spencer Charnas from INK, so i guess this completely nullifies whatever the fuck i wrote in the paragraphs above but hey at least my brain has calmed down from that certain thought now. i can finally sleep in peace. four to five years is still a lengthy way to go and i hate myself for not thinking that earlier 😂

[sommniac]

a theory about ‘deja vu’ by dreamcatcher

I first heard of Dreamcatcher in 2019 after the release of Piri. I’ve always been an avid fan of rock music and was intrigued by a girl group that had a discography renown for that very genre. It wasn’t hard for me to fall in love with them. My first regular (read: non-Japanese) comeback with them was Deja Vu. Unfortunately, it would also be Handong’s last comeback until this year. In honor of her return and her birthday, I have decided to honor Deja Vu with a theory that I’ve been sitting on for the last two years.

My theory is heavily based on the Dreamcatcher cinematic universe so I’ll go over it quickly for those who are unfamiliar. The girls all used to attend a boarding school but, one day, Jiu found a spider in the woods and captured it. The other girls, namely Yoohyeon, tormented the poor creature. And then odd things started happening. The spider turned out to be a witch who transported them into a sort of parallel universe where they existed on the physical plane as ghosts only. They all escaped when they stole a book from a ghost hunter and trapped him in the other world in their stead. Alas, their freedom was short lived as the witch hunted them down. To escape, they had to sacrifice and abandon one girl: Yoohyeon. She then haunted them through their nightmares, possessed by the spirit of the witch.

Deja Vu is a peek into her head. 

Note: Every single gif is from @7nsomnia at https://7nsomnia.tumblr.com/tagged/mv%3A+deja+vu. She has a lot of really good dreamcatcher mv gifs and I would highly recommend checking her out :)

The music video open with Yoohyeon approaching a dais and the throne atop it. She sits down and closes her eyes, allowing thick black smoke to entirely engulf her. This represents her entering the mindscape we’re about to view.

The following lyrics match the idea I presented in my intro: that Yoohyeon is hurt because of her friends’ betrayals. “Far away through the dense fog / The far path I departed on only left hurtful marks / Even as I try to grasp the ends of the dream eventually, longer and longer, / I fall asleep in a deep silence.” In the context of this video, these words seem to describe Yoohyeon’s initial reaction to being abandoned. She’s just sad and confused, trying to process her newfound loneliness in this “dense fog.” She’s starting the deja vu process, reliving the pain that initially plagued her. We get a visual depiction of this in the next scene.

Yoohyeon seems to see Jiu as a symbol of her betrayal and the blonde girl appears multiple times in this way. This is likely due to her blaming Jiu for catching the spider that cursed them. In this scene, we witness Yoohyeon lying on the floor, staring at Jiu who’s leveling a sword at her. In Yoohyeon’s eyes, we see nothing but confusion and sadness as one of her closest friends so brazenly double crosses her. Once again, the lyrics reflect Yoohyeon’s emotions. She laments that “It grows more painful every day,” lending credence to the theory that everything she’s witnessing is repetitive, part of a groundhog’s day type loop.

The betrayal scene is broken up by a recreation of the last supper, the girls all standing at a table filled with food. Jiu stands next to Yoohyeon, just as Judas sat next to Jesus.

Between this moment and the next chorus, the lyrics only further develop this regret and sadness. “Oh Deja Vu Oh Deja Vu Oh Deja Vu” kicks off the chorus, the repetition of the words “Deja Vu” reinforcing the idea that this is happening over and over again. The rest of the chorus is filled with pain and a desire for change to what had previously happened. The next verse elaborates on this further: “I want these moments to all be false / I hope these are passing delusions / If through wet tears, / through belated regrets / If only I could return, return yeah.”

Again, at the start of the prechorus, Jiu raises her rapier to point at Yoohyeon over the same lyrics. However, there are some very noticeable deviations from the first time. It can be assumed that this betrayal is taking place numerous cycles later as the castle is comparatively decrepit. Banners are stripped from the rods they hung from, the window behind them has been entirely removed, columns are collapsed, and vines twist over the dais, reclaiming the now defunct palace for nature. Looking to the girls themselves, the differences are even more prominent.

For starters, the two have switched places. Where Yoohyeon once laid, Jiu stands in a fluffy, light pink gown. A flower crown adorns her curls. This is a stark difference from her all black dress in the first cycle. Yoohyeon has changed even more. She now dons the black outfit Jiu had forgone, replacing her pure white ballgown. Her crown is gone and she no longer cowers on the floor. Instead she kneels, back straight, gaze unwavering. She is no longer afraid of betrayal, instead expecting it and facing it head on.

Yoohyeon is encircled by her friends, looking around in what seems to be confusion. They all stare at her coldly and fade in and out of existence, implying one of two things. One, that she sees them when they aren’t really there. Two, she’s actually watching them appear and disappear and this represents how she saw them all abandon her repeatedly. Both of these interpretations connect to my theory, that she’s in a mindscape created by the spider witch and she is hallucinating everything happening: her friends abandonment of her over and over and over again.

Yoohyeon lies in a coffin lined with blue roses at Jiu points her sword at her. Then, the roles are reversed and Jiu is the one lying in the coffin with Yoohyeon leveling the rapier. Blue roses have several meanings, including unattainableness and manipulation. In this scenario, they could be referencing how Yoohyeon is being manipulated by the spider witch into believing she could never amicably reunite with her friends. Instead, she must kill them for revenge. This position change references something later in the video (I’ll explain further once we get there). It shows Yoohyeon taking the power from Jiu, becoming the antagonist rather than the victim. No longer is Jiu the one who betrays Yoohyeon, instead Yoohyeon is crossing her before she has the chance.

Once again, we watch all of Yoohyeon’s friends vanish. It’s a cruel reminder that she’s all alone.

This scene offers a continuation of the second chorus. Jiu releases her sword, letting it clatter on the floor, handle pointed to Yoohyeon. She then turns and runs, seemingly afraid of Yoohyeon. And not for no reason. The other girl immediately snatches it up and chases after Jiu, seemingly intent on killing. This is where the coffin scene sees relevance once again as the roles reverse. The naive, scared girl that Yoohyeon once was has been replaced by a cold hearted ruthless queen.

At the end, we get to see what the world really looks like. As Yoohyeon has been trapped in her own mind, reliving the same moment over and over again, the once beautiful castle around her has crumbled to nothingness, time eroding every inch of it until there was nothin left. And Yoohyeon sits above it all, queen of destruction and rubble.

But despite the ruins, Yoohyeon sees none of it. The video ends with her sitting on her throne in a mostly intact palace, implying that she is still trapped in that mindscape that has tortured her so, suffering from eternal deja vu.

——————————————————————————————-

Happy Birthday Dongie!!! I love you sm and I’m so glad you’re back and I’m ecstatic you can celebrate your birthday with your members again!!!!!!!!!! <3

[muqiing]

tagged by @leonzhng​ thanks for making me dig through my most embarrassing crushes 😭✋

i’ll tag @highwarlockkareena​ @yibobibo​ @lan-xichens​ @purplexedhuman​ @aheartfullofjolllly​ @lanzhansmiles​ @nyx4​ i feel like i tag you guys in everything i am so sorry please ignore this if u don’t wanna do it !!

putting this under a read more for reasons

MEN 2010 – 2016

literally nothing more embarrassing than falling on the same type of white man over and over again (with the exception of minho from shinee bless his heart)

tommy joe ratliff → he was the bass player for adam lambert during his glamnation era (think of songs like for your entertainment and if i had you) idk why exactly i liked him so much but i just did.... however i searched him up again quite recently and found out he’s one of those republicans that says the dumbest shit on twitter so Big Yikes

harry styles → “baby you light up my world like nobody else, the way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed, and when you smile at the ground it ain’t hard to tell...” and BOOM 13-year-old me was sold for well over two years

louis tomlinson → basically i liked harry most until around 2013 when for some reason i started to like him a little less, and i got more focused on louis tomlinson, and although i didn’t like one direction anymore louis tomlinson always had a special place in my heart

ashton irwin → so ashton is 5sos’ drummer, i discovered 5sos through one direction & i stanned them until late 2014

harries twins → the harries twins (jack & finn) are basically the reason i started spending a lot of time on youtube, they were funny and pretty and they just had good videos in general, so for almost two years i’d watch their content regularly

choi minho → my first steps into kpop happened bc i was watching videos on youtube (most probably the harries twins) and suddenly i saw the sherlock mv in my recommended videos so i clicked on it and then 14-year-old me proceeded to fall for minho like an idiot

brooks twins → still youtubers, the brooks twins were 3/5 of the janoskians (jai & luke brooks, beau brooks, daniel sahyounie, & james yammouni), an australian youtube comedy group that was active from 2011-2018 though i was only around from 2012-2014 (when jai brooks was dating ariana grande)

jc caylen → surprise! another youtuber! jc caylen was part of o2l (our2ndlife) a youtube collaboration channel on which each of the 6 members posted videos on a certain day in the week (mondays with connor, tuesdays with ricky, wednesdays with sam, thursdays with jc, fridays with trevi (my 2nd favorite member bc she participated on the x factor), saturdays with ricardo, and then they had surprise sundays every week) and i remember how much joy jc & the others always brought me with their silly videos

misha collins → up next, you might know him as the gay angel that was sent to superhell after confessing his love to the homophobic hunter on supernatural, it’s misha collins! basically misha was a huge source of comfort for me, and i even went around calling myself emmisha for almost two full years (cringe)

henrik holm → he played even bech naesheim in skam and my crush on him reached that level of ridiculousness where i actually tried my hand at learning norwegian (i can only remember how to introduce myself and some curse words i would make a great first impression on him)

MEN 2016 – 2021

min yoongi → okay so my baby steps into kpop happened through shinee’s sherlock, but i only got really invested when yoongi dropped agust d 1 because Holy Fuck y’know??

kim namjoon → oh man i remember thinking namjoon was cute and a very good leader and then BAM he dressed like THAT at the 2016 mma’s and i fell in love. hard

park seojoon → i started liking park seojoon whilst i was watching hwarang (you guessed it, i watched it bc of taehyung), although he wasn’t my favorite character by far, but he was very silly off camera & i liked that (i’m not that into him anymore tho </3)

kim seokjin → OH BOY LET ME TELL U i liked seokjin from the very beginning (i got to know bts in late 2014) and i always liked seeing him perform and be himself and god once i realized i had a crush on him it just hit me like a mf truck, and he’s still one of my favorite people to this day

jung hoseok → god fake love era hoseok really hits different.... also yes i know i have all of bts’ hyung line on my list BUT bts was a really big part of my life for almost 6 years soooo honestly they deserve it i still think they’re great guys

choi san → when ateez made their debut in 2018 i immediately fell in love with san, he was such an amazing dancer and he captivated me right from the very beginning, to this day he’s still my bias in ateez uwu

xiao zhan → AND THEN, OCTOBER OF 2019 HAPPENS AND I WATCH CQL AND... i fall in love with xiao zhan, something i’d never expected would happen bc when i watched cql for the first time i wasn’t as invested in the story, but i really really really liked xiao zhan and one thing led to another and now here i am as a xfx

wang yibo → the thing is, i’ve known yibo since eoeo except i didn’t know cql yibo was uniq yibo (bc i’d forgotten his name) and when i looked it up i can tell you my jaw dropped to the floor bc holy shit????? also he is very silly and i love him loads ok

lee minho → ah, the man who has been my skz bias since 2018, not only is minho my bias i also kin him (there’s a lot of aspects of myself that i see in minho and vice versa) and he’s very comforting to me

bang chan → honestly, it was only a matter of time before i’d fall for bang chan, i knew the moment i got into skz again that i’d start biasing him and, well, here i am, double biasing chan & minho

WOMEN

this list is shorter bc i’ve in general always had less crushes on women than on men??? blame society forcing me into thinking i was straight for a LONG time

ariana grande → remember the 2011 layout of twitter?? where u could not only have an icon and a header, but also a background and ur twitter page was smack in the center of ur screen with the big ugly menu bar at the top??? yeah ariana grande was always my background for my l*rr* st*l*n*s*n layouts

perrie edwards → this was right around the time she was dating zayn & little mix was breaking out into the spotlight, yeah i just really loved her

andrea russett → okay so remember o2l?? andrea russett was kian’s girlfriend for a pretty long time and they always did videos together and i always thought she was super pretty

lily collins → maybe i don’t like clary in tmi all that much but i sure liked the way lily collins looked

alona tal → MY BISEXUAL AWAKENING, it’s only when i saw alona tal in spn that i realized, fuck i might be gay

park jihyo → i discovered twice (my 2nd jype group after day6) through the like ooh-ahh mv and red-haired jihyo really did something to my heart (i just rewatched it and god zombie bang chan is so mf cute)

kim jisoo → when bp made their square two comeback i was immediately smitten for red-haired jisoo in playing with fire, it’s also when i realized she was my bias out of the four members

shin ryujin → the reason that i have blue hair is partially bc of ryujin and her amazing intro in wannabe :D

xuan lu → her portrayal of jiang yanli was SO ON POINT and she’s just such a kindhearted wonderful person wow i want her hand in marriage

lee yoobin → god i’ve known dreamcatcher from back when they were still called minx and ever since i’ve always looked at dami that bit more than the rest, i was also able to see dreamcatcher live in october of 2019 and the whole experience was just so amazing !!

FICTIONAL CHARACTERS

there’s a whole lot more than just these 10 but i wanted to fit the evolution into one (1) slide as best as i could lmao

peter pan → this movie came out in 2003 (?) and he’s honestly the first fictional character i remember ever having a crush on

legolas → i was really doubting between placing haldir or legolas here but i only really got a vague haldir obsession when i was like 14

zuko → LOOK. ZUKO IN ATLA? HOT. ZUKO IN LOK? HOT EVEN IF HE’S AN OLD MAN.

will turner → man was annoying sometimes but i really liked him and his relationship with elizabeth was cute

jo harvelle → gosh i can’t believe she’s the only female character in here???? yeah she was one of my two spn faves and i’ll never forgive the screenwriters for the way they killed her off

castiel → does your fave ever get sent to super hell for being gay? no? well. mine did

kili → fili and kili’s storyline tore my heart out, spit on it, and then laughed straight in my face, KILI WAS LITERALLY MY FAVORITE DWARF

howl → i only watched this movie for the first time in 2020 so i kinda fucked up the tl cause i watched cql in 2019 but shh, anyways howl with his blonde hair was good looking but howl with his black hair just hits differently. i want a howl

lan jingyi → MY BABY BOY, TINIE LITTLE BABIE WHOMST I MUST PROTECT ok no but seriously this kid. i love him a lot

mu qing → BARK BARK. that’s all (that’s not all i love him a whole lot and it hurts me to see so many people misunderstand his character and only see the bad parts of him when they can forgive others for fucking up (eg. xie lian himself & feng xin) but bc mu qing doesn’t deal well with emotions suddenly he’s the bad guy??? i s2g if ppl are gonna do to him what they did to jiang cheng in the tgcf la i will RIOT)

[v-hope]

Cloud Wine

Pairing: Jeon Jeongguk x International Singer!Reader

Genre: Fluff, Tipsy!Jeongguk

Word Count: 4.2k

Summary: Sometimes a bottle of wine is all you need to let yourself go and have a proper conversation with your crush, especially when language barrier is being nothing but a pain in the ass.

Warnings: Wine drunkenness? And a small comment regarding condoms lol.

A/N: I don't know what this is tbh, but I thought it was cute. I was wine drunk when I started writing it and Guk's wine Vlive had just come out so just bear with me, please. Also, here's how it goes:

"English/Your language".

«Korean».

"I don't know, Nams…" you spoke slowly as your eyes travelled around the set, only to finally lock with Jeongguk's unpleased ones on the other side of it. "I think something happened and he just wants me to stay away…"

"No!" Namjoon was quick to reply, causing your eyes to instinctively draw to him. "He's just... shy" he tried to explain.

"But we used to talk so much over texts" you pointed out, not being able to help the pout already forming on your lips. "We even talked the day before I came to Seoul and everything seemed perfect, and now that we finally get to spend some time together, he plainly avoids me".

A heavy sigh abandoned Joon's mouth, leaning his back up against the wall behind the two of you. He knew about how much you and his maknae talked more than anyone else, for it was mostly him Jeongguk turned to whenever he had both trouble with expressing himself in your language and needed to let his feelings out, because the way you made him feel was truly something he had never experienced before.

Ever since Namjoon had contacted you for a collab a few months ago and you had obviously agreed, it was as if you and Jeongguk had been attached to the hip without even being physically together. What had started out with the two of you wanting to give each other some feedback for the song ending up being so much more.

"Try to see it from his side, Y/N. Texting is… a lot easier" he smiled weakly, "he can take his time and translate whatever he needs to, but in person he doesn't have that. It's hard enough for him to talk to the person he likes, just imagine how hard must it be to, on top of that, have to talk to her in a language he's not fluent in".

Your mouth fell slightly open, as your eyes showed a particular shine he had not seen before. And before he could even ask what had happened, you beat him to it: "The person he likes?"

Namjoon's heart stopped, throwing his head back as realisation hit him, about him having spilled his maknae's secret yet not very subtle crush on you. 

Nonetheless, it was already out there and nothing he said could take it back, so he decided to just go with it. "Why do you think he's been glaring at me the whole time we've been here all alone?"

At that, your heart jumped. "I thought he was glaring at me for some unknown reason…" you admitted with a small voice, lowering your head as you felt the heat reach your cheeks, which Namjoon's laugh didn't help at all.

Shaking his head, he caught a glimpse of Jeongguk once again looking his way with a not very pleased semblance, turning around right as his hyung's eyes locked with his.

"Nope. Definitely glaring at me" he confirmed, making your face go back to his eye level. "Trust me, he's trying so hard to talk to you, but he gets too nervous every time… All these days we've been filming, he's gone back home whining about how he could just not do it".

"Nams, I'm leaving tomorrow…" you sighed, running your hand through your hair out of frustration. Tomorrow. You were leaving the very next day and had not exchanged more than three words with the man you were the most excited to talk to when you signed up to film this music video with all seven of them.

"Maybe you could talk to him?" he proposed after a few seconds.

"Don't you think I've tried?" although a breathy laugh had escaped your mouth, there was not even a hint of humour in it. "He always just… nods and leaves, or something like that".

There it was, silence taking over again as the two of you contemplated your options. Though there was not much thinking on your side, for your stare had once again met Jeongguk's and suddenly nothing else seemed to matter.

"Huh?" you wondered after Namjoon had gently shoved your arm to catch your attention, taking you out of your trance.

"He likes wine…" he let you know, only for your eyebrows to furrow in utter confusion. "You could invite him over to your hotel room and open a bottle…"

"You want me to get him drunk?" you raised one of your eyebrows, not being very fond of that particular idea.

"No, not drunk, or at least not wasted. Just..." he shrugged, "he becomes pretty chatty when he's tipsy… it might be helpful for the two of you".

Biting the inside of your cheek, you thought about it for a second before slowly nodding your head. Maybe he was right, it could help both of you to ease the tension and just let go.

So, you tried to push your previous worries to the back of your head as all eight of you were called to film the next scene for the MV. And, in all honesty, now that you knew Jeongguk liked you, you had kind of started to see what Namjoon had meant. Guk did indeed try to talk to you from time to time, yet ended up chickening out every single time before he could even approach you. 

It was after three intense hours of dancing around, when you all finally wrapped up the music video and everyone was cheering, that you went up to give all of them a quick hug, leaving Jeongguk for the last so that you could take that brief following moment to speak to him. Thankfully, the rest of them understood the message, walking away and giving the two of you some space as Guk's arms remained tightly wrapped around your figure and your face rested against his chest – the warmness of his body making you not ever wanting to let go of him.

"Good job these couple of days" you spoke once your bodies were no longer touching, "I can't wait for the MV to come out".

He smiled wholeheartedly, causing your heart to race at that the sight of that bunny smile you had not gotten the chance to personally witness many times that week. "Yeah, I… can't wait" he said as well.

"Hey, um…" you begun after your eyes had caught a glimpse of Namjoon nodding encouragingly by the other side of the room, "I… I was wondering if you'd maybe…" Jeongguk stared at you expectantly as you tried to find the right words, "maybe you'd like to… hang out for a while tonight?"

"Hang out?" he wondered uncertainly with a cocked eyebrow.

"Yeah" you nodded your head. He knew the meaning of that, right? "We could talk… drink some wine, perhaps?"

This time, both his eyebrows raised at your words – his eyes becoming slightly bigger. Talking and having some wine with you sure sounded like a dream of a time… but it was the talking part the one he couldn't help but feel insecure about. Nevertheless, a voice inside of him was desperately screaming at him not to let this chance go.

And he decided to listen to it right then rather than regret it later.

"Yes" he shyly accepted, giving a quick glance to his members. "With… hyungs?" he asked as his eyes travelled back to you.

"Oh, um…" you shook your head, trying to ignore the way your hands had started to sweat out of nervousness, "I was thinking just the two of us" that was all it took for his heart to go wild. "But if you'd like them to come, too, then–"

"No" he cut you off embarrassingly fast, feeling the heat reach his face in a second, "just… me and you. I like that…" he admitted with now burning cheeks, having to lower his head a little bit in a failed attempt for you not to notice.

You bit your lower lip, looking down as well as you felt those damn butterflies fluttering their wings inside your stomach. "Great" a smile curved up the corners of your lips, being instantly mirrored by his. "I'll go change now and then we can leave".

Jeongguk limited his answer to a nod of his head, watching you leave to the dressing room before he rushed to change as well, not letting pass the opportunity to tell his already well aware hyungs about the miracle that had just happened.

That's how the two of you had ended up almost an hour later inside the grocery store next to your hotel, with your oversized hoodies all the way up and a couple of masks not to get recognised covering half of your faces, as you searched through the liquor aisle for a good brand of wine.

«Oh, this one's really good» Jeongguk spoke to your side, reaching to take one particular dark bottle in his hands as he examined it.

"Huh?" you wondered, leaving the one you had been staring at back on its place before moving closer to him to take a look at his.

"This wine" he said this time in English, focusing his attention on you, "is very good".

"Oh" you smiled this time, feeling slightly bummed about the fact that he tried his best to speak in your language for you to understand yet there you were knowing not even a full sentence in his to save your life. It seemed unfair to him. "We should take it then".

Although he nodded and held the bottle tighter in his hand, his wandering eyes had your eyebrows knitting together in an instant.

"Something wrong?"

Guk shook his head no, tugging at the sleeve of your hoodie to pull you somewhere else with him. "Food" he stated simply, earning a giggle from you that his heart couldn't help but skip a beat at.

Good wine called for good food.

So you were taught when you were back in your hotel room for once and for all, sat on the middle of your bed surrounded by Korean snacks Jeongguk had insisted on you having to try out, watching as he looked around for a corkscrew and laughing under your breath at the sight of him smiling like a child on Christmas after finding one by the bar – taking two glasses with him before rushing to your bed and praying with everything in him for the cork not to break and have him make a fool of himself in front of you as he tried to open it. 

With his prayers being heard and the cork out of the way with a loud 'pop', he proceeded to fill your awaiting glasses with the dark liquor, later clinking them together.

"Cheers!" you chanted, earning a cute little laugh from him as he repeated your words. "How do you say it in Korean?" you wondered before the glass could touch your lips.

"Geonbae" he said in a low, slower voice for you to understand.

"Geon…" you raised one of your eyebrows uncertainly, afraid of messing up the one word you were about to learn.

"Bae" he repeated with loving eyes, finding your current expression rather adorable. "Geon-bae".

"Okay, I got it" you announced, sitting up straight and lifting up your glass for his to touch one more time. "Geonbae, Jeongguk!"

He was the one to giggle this time. "Geonbae, Y/N!"

After the first few sips, you felt the world and everything surrounding you become slower.

After the first glass, everything started to seem funnier.

After the second glass, however, and much to his and your relief, language had suddenly stopped being a barrier – Jeongguk not even caring anymore about his broken English and just going with whatever came out of his mouth, for not only did the alcohol help him a lot in that sense, but he had also discovered you would never either make fun of nor criticise him for it. The only loud, mocking laugh coming out of your mouth being when you tried to speak in Korean as he taught you and you thought your own pronunciation was the worst sound to ever come out of anyone's mouth.

"Okay, I guess I'll just limit my Korean to 'hello' and 'goodbye' whenever I come here for a concert" you lifted your hand up to wipe a tear that was about to roll down your cheek.

"No, that was– cute" Jeongguk reassured you immediately. "Practice…" he held both thumbs up to bring his point across.

"Yeah, I think that's the least I can do if I want to keep talking to you".

He smiled sweetly. «Hopefully you'll be fluent one day and we'll be able to speak in both languages!»

"What?" you wondered, already feeling the corners of your lips starting to curve up at the whole situation you had found yourselves in. 

Jeongguk rolled his eyes, in a failed attempt not to let his smile reach them. "I said, you– um…" he pouted, «hopefully you'll be fluent–» he was interrupted by his own laugh after noticing you were not getting a thing, being matched by your own right after.

"Wait, what?" you managed to blurt out uneasily, both because of the alcohol's effect on you and the endless laugh currently coming out of your mouth.

«Pay attention!» his laugh became louder, trying his best to make it stop so he could take another sip of his wine before giving his words another try. "I'm telling you that" his mouth opened to keep on talking right after that, finding out he did not know how to say the following in English at all, ending up with him naturally switching back to Korean, «if you keep on practicing then we–» his head was thrown back as a cackle left once again at the sight of your puzzled expression, more precisely, at the way your eyebrows remained furrowed while your eyes travelled back and forth from his lips to his eyes as you tried to somehow understand what he was saying.

"Jeongguk, I don't understanddd" you half whined, half chuckled; dragging on the last letter. 

«That only makes it funnier» he confessed in pure amusement, which only increased the way your lower lip had stuck out as you had, obviously, not gotten that either.

"Wait, wait" you laughed once more, reaching for your phone that was for some reason lying on the other edge of the mattress. "Fuck it, we're using technology to communicate".

With that and under Guk's questioning stare, you started looking for an app one of your friends had told you about at some point in during the year, one that translated everything on the spot just by you speaking into your mobile's microphone.

"Okay now" you smiled once it was done downloading, moving your phone close to his mouth. "Speak".

«What am I supposed to say?» Jeongguk wondered immediately, not even a second passing by when a robotic voice was heard in the silence of the room, making the two of you stare at each other with wide eyes and faintly open mouths as your lips parted into a smile of disbelief. «That does not sound like me!» he exclaimed right as you started laughing – said unsettling voice being heard once again.

"No shit, Sherlock" you rolled your eyes in amusement.

Before you could even turn off the app, your words were translated to Korean with that very same male tone, causing Jeongguk to throw his head back, letting out a cackle you had never heard coming from him. Not only did he throw his head back, you realised a second later, but his whole body as well, slumping down on bed while he kept on laughing at such silly thing – good thing his glass was already empty, otherwise you would be getting the scold from the hotel's staff the next day.

"Let's just turn it off" you managed to say in between your own laughter, placing both your glass and your phone on the nightstand next to the bed. "Your voice alone is much more pleasant to listen to".

Now, you didn't know if that had been the alcohol speaking or you just had a moment of confidence, maybe both, but your cheeks didn't wait a second to start burning as soon as you realised what had just came out of your mouth. Jeongguk, on his end, smiled blissfully at the compliment.

Feeling the wine get to your head now more than ever, you let your body fall to his side, staring at the ceiling as the two of you laughed it all out, until your chests stopped trembling and your breathings became even. 

It was then, with silence taking over the room, when Jeongguk closed his eyes, starting to feel them become heavier. But he was not willing to fall asleep just yet.

"Your voice is pretty, too" he slurred; his chest moving up and then down with a loud sigh. "You're pretty…"

You closed your eyes as well, allowing the smile threatening with curving up your lips to take over them. Wetting your lips with your tongue out of habit, you were clueless to Jeongguk's eyes being fixed on them, hungrily staring at them as he instinctively wet his own. "You're very handsome, too" you confessed with what seemed more of a sigh, feeling your body slowly starting to shut down.

This time, he bit down on his lower lip as his eyes took in your every faction. "Y/N?" he mumbled.

"Mm?" you hummed after he said nothing for the next couple of seconds, which lead to yet another brief moment of silence.

Just like that, a pair of cloudlike lips were placed on yours.

Although it had taken you by surprise, you did not open your eyes – if anything enjoying the way his lips trapped your own in them, and how his chest was now resting against yours without really letting his whole weight fall on top of you. 

With one hand pressing down on the mattress next to you, his other one went up to cup your cheek, letting his thumb press over the corner of your mouth to keep you still and allow him to intensify the kiss. It was when his mouth opened ever so lightly to catch your lower lip once again in between it, that something made him snap out of it.

"Sorry" he mumbled when his lips had not even completely withdrawn from yours, looking into your confused eyes for a moment before he let his head fall to the crook of your neck and then slump on his back next to you. "Sorry, I–" he tried to explain himself, pressing his hands to his eyes; like that action alone would make him disappear, «you're just so beautiful and I-I like you so much, and I don't, I don't want to blame it on the alcohol be-because I've wanted to kiss you for so long but, but it sure made me gain up the cour–»

"Jeongguk" you cut him off, because although you did not get a single word of what was coming out of his mouth, you were able to catch on the way he was clearly stuttering, letting you know just how nervous he was feeling right then.

Since you didn't want to let him panic for another single second, you turned around to press your chest against his like he had done mere moments ago. Cupping his face in your hands and smiling under his piercing, uncertain stare, you wasted no time in closing the space between your mouths one more time, knowing you had managed to make all his worries go away when you felt him smile in between the kiss – placing his hand on the back of your neck to pull you even closer.

Not having enough of you, his hand travelled down to your back, firmly pressing on it as he turned both of you around so that he could be back on top and take control. 

It felt perfect; not only the way his mouth moved so tenderly against yours, but also the way the liquor gave his soft lips a bitter taste, yet the natural sweetness that was inherent to them remained there still.

When oxygen was finally something neither of you could no longer ignore, his touch lost yours, letting his forehead rest on yours as the two of you breathed heavily, causing a small smile to form on your swollen lips.

"I'm glad you weren't mad at me after all" you couldn't help but point out with a giggle when absolute silence had taken over the atmosphere. At the way he had dumbfoundedly furrowed his eyebrows, you explained: "You were kind of avoiding me all these days…"

Jeongguk sighed, letting his head fall on your shoulder. "I didn't– I was..." he struggled with his own words, wanting to let you know he was just too nervous to approach you yet not finding the right way to say it. So, he decided to instead just go with: "I like you…"

You bit down on your lower lip, feeling a shiver run down your spine. You knew, for Namjoon had been very explicit about it after all. However, hearing such confession coming out of his very own lips made you feel like you could melt any time by then. 

"I like you, too" you whispered, running your fingers through his already messy hair due to your wandering hands, and then letting out a breathy laugh as you felt his wet lips press to the crook of your neck.

"I'm sorry I… missed time" he apologised, tilting his head back so he could fix his dark chocolate eyes on yours. You nodded understandingly, receiving a light kiss to your lips this time. "I want to, take you... date, tomorrow".

That was it. The figurative melting hitting for once and for all. 

"I would love that" your bright smile got a shy bunny one from him. "We could go for breakfast" you proposed, "before my flight leaves".

Jeongguk nodded gently, trying not to let his mood drop at the fact that you were leaving so soon. "Perfect".

"Perfect" you happily repeated in a whisper.

"I, um…" he cleared his throat, glancing over to his phone laying by one side of the bed before he reached his hand out to it so he could check the time – his heavy eyes opening wide at the sight of such late hour into the night. "I... should leave".

"Oh, um…" you held your weight up with your elbows, "maybe you could stay?" you wondered with a faintly trembling voice at the fear of overstepping some kind of boundary, only becoming more of a nervous wreck under Jeongguk's intense stare. Maybe you had given him the wrong idea. "I mean, it's pretty late" you tried to fix it, "and… I'm trying to say, if you wa–"

As if on queue, not knowing if that had been in your favour or not, the phone he was still holding in his hand started ringing, jolting the both of you up.

«Namjoon-ie hyung» he let you know, rushing to pick it up and press his mobile against his ear.

«Jeongguk-ah, where are you?» Joon wondered as soon as the phone call had been answered.

«Still with Y/N» Guk replied immediately, locking eyes with you as he spoke.

«Oh» Namjoon breathed out. «What time are you coming back?»

Poking his tongue against the inside of his cheek, Jeongguk took a couple of seconds to answer. Soon. That's what he should've said, what he would've said if it weren't for your previous invitation invading his mind – especially when he had you so close to him and your sleepy eyes were calling for him to stay.

"I'm… staying here…" your eyes lit up at the sound of that, at how he had slurred those words out specifically in your language for you to understand, "tonight".

The other end of the line went dead for a while before Namjoon took a deep breath. «Okay… um… I know you didn't take any condoms with you, so please remember to pull o–»

«Hyung» Jeongguk cut him off with crimson coloured cheeks, «it's not like that…»

It was really not. Not with you.

«Oh» Joon breathed out once again. «Have fun then. Be safe».

«I will. We will». 

With that said, he hung up, leaving his phone next to you and staring lovingly into your eyes – one of his hands going up to cup your cheek and running small circles on it with his thumb.

"More wine then?" you proposed with a teasing tone, knowing well enough neither of you could handle any more of it if you wanted to remain in your senses.

That being exactly what was on Guk's mind when he amusedly yet slowly moved his head from one side to another in negation – a smile curving up his lips as they brushed lightly over yours, ready to entirely close the space between them once more. "I want to remember".

The quiet giggle that had came out of your mouth was soon muffled by his lips finally pressing on your own, just the way you could so easily become addicted to.

You'd be damned if either of you ever forgot about this dreamlike night.

[thehltwoghosts]

So, I was watching Just Like You mv and here I am...

There are lots of posts that showed us what really the newspapers were talking about, I just wanted to show this one especially, I found it interesting. And I didn’t see, If anybody ever talked about this before. So let’s begin.

In Just Like You music video at 0.52 there is a story on the left side. 

The story of a girl who was diagnosed with anxiety and anorexia then she wrote Scrambled Heads to help the children learn that mental health is not something to be afraid of. 

From the article;

‟The overall message of the book is that it can be scary but there are steps you can take. It’s about letting children know that If you have these feelings, you can speak to someone and things can be done.’’ 

Doesn't it sound like something else too? So let’s get more into it.

‟How do you explain such a complex issue to primary school children?’’

‟Scrambled Heads explains that mental health is not always visible. The main character; an egg, looks as If it is healthy but below the surface it isn’t. The egg has a bandage on its head but when it looks in the mirror it can’t see it.’’ 

‟On a visit to a doctor in a hospital, the egg is split in two with its insides on display. It shows that it’s not just on the surface, there is a lot underneath.’’

This literally can be about how gays didn’t know at first what they are really interested in ‘cause it’s not always visible. With time you are beginning to discover yourself. Even when you look at yourself and try to find what is different with you, it can’t be seen. Because it’s in you, it’s a part of you that you don’t need to see at the surface but feel from the inside. 

Alive / End Of The Day

‟The priest thinks it's the devil. My mum thinks it's the flu but girl(boy) it's only you.‟

‟My mother told me I should go and get some therapy. I asked the doctor, "Can you find out what is wrong with me? I don't know why I wanna be with every girl(boy) I meet. I can't control it. Yeah, I know it's taking over me. I'm going crazy, can't contain it. So tell me just what I should do?‟

‟She said, ‘Hey, It's alright, If it makes you feel alive. Don't look back, live your life even if it's only for tonight.’ ‟

So on a visit to a doctor, the boy finally realized. He looked inside and saw that there isn’t just the surface / the face he saw is a part of him but his inside too. He’s not like how people see him from the outside, there are a lot of feelings hiding and waiting to be released from underneath.

Also when this story appears in the screen, the lyrics have been showing are ‘’Yeah, I feel the same as you do.’’

(Louis you’re just such an intelligent person, idk what to say. Harry is absolutely right, you're loud, loud, loud :)

These are from the book: 

‟When I'm down I need H to talk to.’’ 

‟I'm sorry If I say ‘I need you’ but I don't care, I'm not scared of love. 'Cause when I'm not with you I'm weaker. Is that so wrong? Is it so wrong that you make me strong?’’ 

This is the article I’m talking about.

Also, What are those???? Louis explain!

And there is a quote from Ta-Nehisi Coates in the same page. (In left corner, inside of a talking balloon.)

“It was as if I had spent my years jiggling the key into the wrong lock.” 

Also again I found something, there's an interview with Emily Palmer who is the author of the book:

‟You explain mental health using eggs for your analogy. What made you pick eggs?’’

‟I chose to use eggs as the characters in the book for two main reasons. Firstly, I chose eggs as they come in all shapes and sizes and can be made into lots of different things depend on how they are treated, e.g. scrambled, fried, boiled. By using the eggs, and incorporating it into my title, I wanted to help encourage the idea, that even though we might all have been through different experiences, at the end of it all, we are all just like each other, and deserve the same help.’’ 

‟I'm just like you even though my problems look nothing like yours do. Yeah, I get sad, too and when I'm down I need somebody (H) to talk to. I feel the same as you would do. Same stress, same shit to go through. I'm just like you. If you only knew...’’  Omg, I'm now almost sure that Louis wrote JLK from this????

‟Another reason I chose to use an egg was during a stay in hospital, I overheard a conversation between my dad and a nurse where he described the way I communicate as being like an egg. He said to the nurse that, like an egg, I had a hard exterior and tried to avoid showing my emotions, but under that hard shell, I’ve got a lot of emotions going on inside that we can’t see unless I let them in.’’

Last but not least;

‟So far we have raised over £500 for YoungMinds. YoungMinds are an excellent mental health charity geared towards supporting young people, and I decided to choose them as I felt their work fitted in very nicely with the aims of the book. ’’

@YoungMindsUK  Talking about everything that a child could go through. Anxiety, stress, bullying, self-harm...

I love your mind lou :)

Wow! That was it guys. Please share your thoughts. Thanks for reading it, take care xxx

[cbspams]

ONF - New World (Performance MV)

The last one. Ahhh, when I first committed to watching RTK, I wasn't sure what to expect and I didn't know anything about the other groups. I'd seen TBZ's Reveal (Catching Fire) which lured me in and I'm grateful for it because I got to see all the other amazing performances everyone pulled off. Beyond just the performances, it was really heartwarming to get little glimpses of the hard work everyone puts into each stage and how they're always supporting each other, within their own teams and outside of it. I would definitely recommend watching RTK if you're interested in getting into any of the groups featured, and even if not I would still recommend watching the performances because they're all so unique in their arrangements and stages. It's the kind of thing that can only happen on a competition show.

Thanks for putting up with all my ranting and know that I love you if you've read all my different thought posts. I hope you all look forward to Kingdom: Legendary War as well, it's gonna be HYPE!

Alright dudes let's get down to it.

Admittedly I did not love ONF for a lot of RTK. They're a great group, but I felt like their stages didn't favor the same kind of theatricality other groups had. And when they were ranked highly for We Must Love + Moscow Moscow (2nd round, My Song) stage, I was frankly a little miffed.

I adored their stage for It's Raining though, and all throughout RTK even if I didn't love them I still thought they were wonderful. Their reactions were so entertaining to watch and their stages were all fun and well executed.

I struggled watching New World a bit because I couldn't get over the fact they went back to more simple performances when It's Raining had been so elaborate.

The performance MV for New World is amazing. I understand the live performance had to be filmed indoors and that because it's indoors and because the stage is black and the stairs are black and the bleachers are black, the impact is different. But I'm really sad about that because the open air film location they did for the performance MV fit the song's vibes so much better. The kind of controlled sunlight, the open air lattices of the building they were standing on, the contrast between the dark outfits the members had and the bright cream of the building's plaster. All of those contributed to such a different vibe for the song, which is so bright and fun.

The opening to the light performance is a short film, similar to ONEUS and Pentagon. I'm not too sure about this but it seems to start with fast cuts from their previous MVs? And then slows down marginally to give a bit of storyline that seems to be a combination of pre and post apocalypse/societal collapse in a fantasy/cyberpunk mix world? Yeah, I dunno I've watched it 4 times and that's the best I could come up with. Especially because the ending shot is several very large meteors crashing through the atmosphere and like, those are pretty deadly so...?

In the pre-performance bit with the ONF members, they had discussed a theme of Pandora's box. Most people know that Pandora's box is a symbol of curses and tragedy, often tied to themes of humanity's greed versus humanity's innocence in listening to the gods. On opening the box, all the diseases and negativity inside flooded out to torment humanity but Hope remains in the box to allow humanity to maintain light in the darkness, and only humanity can give up hope.

NGL I was really excited to see how they would execute that theme. But then?? They kind of treated the box as a time capsule? I could kind of see it like them put their hopes into the box, which is an interesting twist on the tale of Pandora's box but also Confusion because that's definitely not the theme of that story. I kind of let it go though, because maybe they were just borrowing inspiration from the story and not actually trying to represent it.

Moving onto the actual performance and song. The intro is so intense! It's a really interesting fit because the rest of the song is way more dance upbeat/electric. But as far as openings go, pretty impactful and very pleasing to watch the ripple effect with the backup dancers down the aisle.

Again with the colorful flashing lights. Cool? Yes. Contributing to the aesthetic? Not particularly. Productive to the storyline? No. Part of the performance? Yes. Shruggy on this one, I don't really have anything to add that I haven't mentioned in previous commentaries.

I do really like the song though. Just as a piece of music, it's so fun to listen to and has definitely joined the ranks of my usual kpop bops. The kind of light, fast electro beat is something to jam to. Wyatt's voice is just so good, especially as part of the pre-chorus. The contrast makes it delightful to go from verse one to chorus. The lyrics and message of the song are really well thought out and executed as well, talking about reaching a better world and turning away from hurting each other/the environment/generally being hurtful.

OKAY. So this part is actually something I really adored: the sort of robotic formation. Wherein the members stand in the center of several backup dancers who seem to place on pieces or armor or something onto the member's limbs. A very clean cut, fast paced dance sequence that really strongly reminded me of early iron man scenes in which the different parts of armor were installed on the body. Also lowkey reminiscent of magical girl transformation hahahaha. But it's done so cleanly and while the camera angles make it hard to focus, it's still such a treat to watch. AND THEN. The members come up to the shoulders of the backup dancers and for Wyatt's lines, they're just!! In control! If y'all have watched power rangers or Gundam or Aquarion or Neon Evangelion or like, any of those then you know what I'm talking about, in which the human character slides into some massive machine and controls them from the inside to fight monsters (kaiju) and stuff. And the next bit with J-US and the hands! Creative, interesting imagery, just a complete delight to watch. It's just sooooo fun and I love that for ONF, I really do.

I genuinely think that their theme doesn't make much sense without the context of the lyrics and even then it still feels clunky and sort of inspired by rather than actually embodying the concept. So I'd dock point for them for that personally because I think that when themes are introduced and performed, they should show up as more than just a simple prop. But also I acknowledge that dance and musical performances like this (not musicals) aren't necessarily intended to be storytelling, especially in 4th gen kpop. I do like their theme with the keys and opening, I feel like the performance would have been enhanced if instead of using pandora's box, they choose to use the gateway to the new world. A bit on the nose but a lot more impactful with the key turning bit after the second chorus.

On the key turning bit with the weird holographic box: Dude. Those backup dancers? So clean. Nice stiff steps that feel very robotic which goes wonderfully with the costumes. The keys they each take actually read RTK ONF if you go clockwise from the left (MK). Just a neato little fact. Attention to detail is so good. And the timing of the key turns, of course it was gonna be to the beat but like still! Satisfying af.

Why Wyatt grabs the box and slams it to the ground I don't know. Maybe it has to do with the line dive into new world.

The high notes. Again. Literally just. What the fuck guys, they're so good. I'm gonna cry. The stability, the pitch, just. (sobbing)

The LED screen in the back is interesting? Is it supposed to be a door into the new world? Probably?

Dance break!! Guitar solo!! The door tradition into the weird stripey LED screens that just feels so chaotic and kinda like I'm going through a movie warp portal. Somehow when combined together it all works lmao??

I love the bridge. There's no reason for it, I just love Wyatt's fast paced lines and the kind of dun dun dun fast tempo beat tapping.

The ending of running away from the camera, towards the little cliffs and the LED screen was a good choice because the last lines refer to how they'll never stop as long as they're alive. Not the most impactful ending but definitely satisfying given the song's lyrics and meaning. Again, that lack of pandora's box kind of haunts me?

Overall if I consider this ONF performance compared to their others it doesn't feel quite as thought out and executed. Similar to their We Must Love + Moscow Moscow performance where I couldn't really see the marionette theme, I couldn't really understand the idea of Pandora's box in this performance and I really wish they had chosen perhaps a gateway to the new world or some other theme instead because it would fit much better. It's also a little lackluster compared to the performance MV that had a lot of contrast which created more focus and contributed more to the atmosphere of the performance.

Still, as a performance on it's own, it does pretty well and I'm really happy for ONF to have performed it. Thank you RTK for introducing me to this song and to ONF in general, I hope they continue to release some really good stuff.

[thoughts-on-bangtan]

What do you think of JM’s updated Spotify? I don’t normally read into things, but his song choices makes me sad. “At my worst” “I can’t be myself (excuse me while I cry) & “When was it over?” With the lyrics “was it that fight we didn’t have when I came in? Was it the first time you saw me drunk? Second time I said I’m sorry?” It sounds like a replay of Vmins dumpling incident and it worries me. JM looked off in the recent live, almost sad and pouty lately. Do you think I’m over analyzing it?

Admin 1: The short answer to this would be: yes, you are over analyzing things.

The longer one would be that, for example, Pink Sweat$'s At My Worst isn't a sad song, it's actually the exact opposite. It's a very cute and romantic song. Just look at the first verse:

Can I call you baby? Can you be my friend? Can you be my lover up until the very end? Let me show you love, oh, no pretend Stick by my side even when the world is caving in, yeah

I'd actually argue this kinda sounds like a mixture between Sweet Night and Friends when it comes to the sentiment of those words. I’ve seen some people even claim that this will replace Ed Sheeran’s romantic songs that have so far been used at every wedding ever because of how sweet it is.

Then we have Justin Bieber’s I can’t be myself which I believe you probably only looked at the title and jumped to conclusions because, again, this isn’t a sad song either. The lyrics are more about how Justin (or whoever) cannot be himself when you (I’d guess he likely means his wife) isn’t by his side, thus wanting to say that he is happiest and most himself when they are together. It’s sweet and lovely, not sad.

I could travel any place But without you, it's just runnin' around (Girl, I'm just runnin' around) They could open Heaven's gates But without you, I'm just stuck in the clouds (Yeah, yeah)

Lastly, from the songs you specifically highlighted, is Sasha Sloan’s when was it over? which yes, I’ll admit this one is a sad song about not being able to let go even though you know there is nothing left. The song though has a very calm sound, something you’d listen to in the evening, and something I could see both him and Tae like listening to, not because Jimin relates to the lyrics but because it’s simply a pretty song.

On my current playlist I have Stromae’s Formidable, a song about a heartbroken man getting wasted after a breakup. I’ve neither gotten my heart broken nor am I sad and yet I still love this song because it’s just a really good song. Sometimes that’s the only reason we need to listen to a song. Nothing more to it.

All that to say that I don’t believe there is any correlation whatsoever to be made here, especially since Tae and Jimin look more than happy in recent months (did you notice Jimin happily smiling at Tae during their most recent performance of Butter for Colbert at the beginning of their subunit dance?) and there is nothing that could indicate to us that something went wrong between them, or that Jimin could be sad or something bad going on with him. I mean, look at JKs playlist and the fact that he has Billie Eilish’s Your Power on it, applying your thought process, does that mean that JK is trying to tell us he went through something similar to Billie? That he is sad? Or do you think he simply recommended that song because he likes Billie’s music? The last one seems the most likely, doesn’t it?

So, to sum it all up, there is absolutely no need to worry, seriously.

Admin 2: In the evenings, when it's very quiet and my big city has fallen asleep, I really enjoy listening to Sweet Night. I also like to go back to 4 O'Clock from time to time (although I know I will cry). Does that mean I missed my chance in life to be with my beloved? No and no again! I've never been in a situation like this, I wasn't unhappy or "fragily" in love, no one abandoned me or cheated on me. I listen to these songs because I love them. They match the mood of the evening and calm me down despite the sad lyrics and let me fall asleep peacefully.

I am a person who listens to a lot of songs from the past; Songs that remind me of situations, remind me of years of studying, enable me to relive certain situations.

Dear Anon, thank you very much for your question (confession), but I admit that I see it as "looking for some kind of backdoor" so to speak, a way to create a loophole and deny everything after all.

I don't know who you are, I don't know if you really are a Vminnie, but I think you are clinging to any possibility of a situation to undermine the reality or existence of Vmin. That's how I see it, if I offend you, I apologize. The more we get new materials about Tae and Jimin every day, like them being cute in the McDonald's behind the scenes, the more such "sad thoughts" we get sent to us through asks every day.

Firstly, I'm not sure if Jimin (and Taehyung) is fluent enough in English to capture the accuracy of the lyrics and understand its message. Of course, you can translate it, but for that to happen first the song has to catch your attention, and usually it's the melody and the overall feeling of a song that does it, and not the lyrics. And that is the point!

I think Jimin picked these tracks because he simply likes them. Perhaps he first paid attention to the melodies and the mood and only then understood the lyrics sometime later.

A lot of people (including me) hear some kind of song instead of another because they are intrigued by the melody or the association with a particular situation. The mood that fits the moment, the weather, the time of day or many other things which lead us to choose this song and not another.

Maybe Jimin and Taehyung were driving at night and listening to the song on the radio, maybe they were in a romantic mood back then, just having dinner together or taking a half bath together. Ha ha, I know I am deceiving and romanticizing what I am saying to reflect the vast possibilities and reasons why you listen to music like this and no other. Jimin putting together this list of songs for his spotify playlist doesn't mean he listens to it all the time, every day, but that he has the songs he likes on his list and chose the ones he wants to hear right now, or that he thought ARMY could like.

Of course, I'm sure he listens to very different songs during exercising than the one lying in bed before falling asleep. Maybe he's listening to this list, just like we hear the songs from BTS? We know individual words after repeating them several times, and we generally know (as we decide to read translations) what is going on in a particular song, but we don't understand all the words accurately. Not all of us are in the same situation as described in a particular song, but still we listen to it because we like it, because BTS sings it, because we are waiting for a solo from Suga etc. etc. etc.

For some time now we have been seeing (I see) Vmin happy, even very happy, as if "after the night the day came and after the storm came peace" (by the way, these are the words of one of my favorite songs), I have the impression that Vmin have finished fighting all their fights and they are just happy now, finally. Taehyung looks like a million dollars, he's literally glowing and far more lively than he was a year ago.

To him, Jimin is like smooch like butter and someone he likes the most. Taehyung is a handsome and hot chingu for Jimin who he also likes him the most as well. Tell me dear Anon, where is there room for fear and doubt in the love they share? Why and on what basis do you suspect that Vmin has broken up, or is having problems, or that either of them is unhappy? Besides, if one of them has an off day or is simply tired after a packet schedule and thus doesn't look as animated, why is that immediately read as "Jimin and Tae aren't together anymore" or "they are drifting apart" when chances are far more likely that it has nothing to do with their bond? Based on the playlist, or based on Vlive, or maybe based on both of these events, what is the correlation?

I've seen the Vlive. To tell the truth, I didn't see a sad and pouty Jimin there. Instead, I saw Taehyung smiling and content, and Jimin smiled and admired Tae's new hairstyle. I watched the latest BTS interviews. Vmin stared at each other, Jimin stared at Tae with a big smile that only grew in size and the two communicated with their eyes.

Jimin caressed Taehyung's back/butt in the Butter MV making Episode and said there’s butter here (though it wasn’t translated in the subs).

In the McD ad they were together and standing next to each other, even with Jimin resting his head on Tae's shoulder and then Jimin eating Tae's chicken nugget from his hand.

Honestly, I don't know what else Vmin would have to do to keep people from doubting their bond and happiness. They have shown us so much, I think they have reached the limit of what can be said without saying it bluntly.

Most importantly, this is a very interesting situation as we have never had as much "dubious news/content" (not meant negatively at all) as we have now after Taehyung's interview with his ‘confession’/clarification about Sweet Night. To me it smells a bit like someone wants to cause fear or plant the seed of doubt, or be like a trojan horse with the underlying idea of course being that "well...we must be wrong" even though there’s no reason for us to believe/think that.

[kutemouse]

Hey! Can you do crisis talk with yoongi? Like, their conversation getting less and less and yoongi realized it and change. I hope you can understand, love you! Fluff angsty?

Disclaimers: The above gif was made and edited by me, kutemouse. That is why I’ve posted this under the tag #btsgif. Feel free to use this gif however you want, just please give me credit for the edit. The gif and the title of this drabble are from the mv and song, “I Need U” by BTS.

Hi kutie! I understood perfectly (I hope), thank you for your request! I love the way you put it as a “crisis talk!” 😂 Believe me, any hard conversation with Yoongi would definitely be a crisis in my book. I love writing angst for Yoongi as well, it just comes so naturally with him as I imagine him to be a brooding, hard-working somewhat-introvert who only lets loose around people he really knows and loves. Anyway, hope you like! 💜

Age Recommendation: 16+

Warnings: Angsty angst, swears, Yuqi from (G)I-DLE magically appears, Yoongi being an asshole, crying, some yelling.

Word Count: 1,550

“Because of you, I’m becoming ruined.

I don’t wanna stop, I don’t want you anymore.

I can’t do this, this sucks.

…

I’m sorry (I hate you)

I love you (I hate you)

Forgive me.”

~ “I Need U” by BTS

Translation I used can be found here.

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

I Need U Girl (Yoongi Drabble~Angst, Fluff)

Yoongi stood as still as a statue, hands shoved in his pockets. If he even breathed, he was afraid you’d hear him, whip open the door, and scold him for even daring to be there. It wasn’t supposed to be like this, but he understood why it was what it was. He pushed you away, after all. It all started that fateful night when he was trying to work and you were being your usual goofy self.

“Yoongi, oh my god, look at this meme,” you giggled, placing your phone in front of his face.

Yoongi paused what he was doing for a few seconds to read it, then gave out a half-hearted laugh. “Wow, that’s… that’s funny.”

A couple minutes later, you were watching a Youtube video and you laughed out loud, the sound reverberating off the walls into his head. That was when the frustration started to well up. You knew he was working, couldn’t you be quieter?

It was when you started humming as you scrolled through your phone that he completely lost it. “Y/n!” he barked, causing you to jump. “Can you please stop?”

“Sorry,” you muttered.

But that wasn’t enough to quell the destructive flame of Yoongi’s rage. He had a bad day today. BigHit’s producers rejected his latest submission for a new album track, telling him it was too raw, too rough, and he needed to majorly clean it up before submitting it again.

And if that wasn’t enough, practice between the BTS members also went badly. It was like they were totally out of sync. After two full hours of nothing but trying and failing to learn the new choreography, Hobi threw his hands up and said there was no point. They’d just have to come back tomorrow and hope it went better.

On top of all that, Yoongi went to a cafe to pick up a coffee, thinking it would cheer him up, and some asshole bumped into him, causing his drink to spill everywhere. When he came home, you cooed over him and did your best to clean him up and make him feel better, but unfortunately, everything you did had the exact opposite effect. Yoongi felt smothered by your antics, and when he sat down to work, the apartment seemed too small for the both of you.

Long story short, life was shit, everything had gone to shit, everything was shit, and now, Yoongi was sick of your shit. “Y/n, you know I’m trying to work!” he growled.

You held up your hands. “I said I was sorry.”

“That’s not good enough! Look, you need to leave. I need some space, I need to finish this, so please, just… just leave.”

You stared at him, open-mouthed. Was he serious? You and Yoongi had been dating for a year now, and you knew there were going to be some bumps in the road when you moved in together a month ago, but you never expected this.

“Fine,” you said, getting up. “I’ll leave.” You pulled on some pants, grabbed a jacket and purse, and went out the door. Yoongi huffed and tried to get back to work, but his attention was all over the place now. After another unsuccessful hour, he gave up and started to get ready for bed.

You still hadn’t come home when he crawled under the covers, so he shot you a text.

Yoongles ❤️ (11:34pm): Hey, I’m sorry. You can come home now.

You didn’t respond, and Yoongi ended up falling asleep. The next morning, he found you asleep on the couch, still fully clothed, your body curled up around yourself the way you used to curl up against him.

Ever since that night, you slowly began to pull away from Yoongi, but the sad part was, he didn’t even realize it ‘til yesterday. He knew you were more distant than usual, but he shrugged it off as a side-effect of the fight, thinking you’d get over it. He hadn’t noticed how your laughter didn’t come as often, or how your hugs and kisses were getting more and more brief. He didn’t heed the warning signs, like how you didn’t make love anymore, or how you seemed to be spending more time with friends than with him.

Yesterday, though, he looked around and realized he hadn’t seen you in almost a week. You had texted him each night, letting him know you were sleeping over at your best friend’s house, so he knew where you were, but that didn’t comfort him any. In fact, it served to drive home just how much he fucking missed you. Missed your scent, missed your laugh, missed the way you included him in everything you did. He even missed the way your hair stuck up in every direction in the morning and how husky your voice sounded when you just woke up. He missed the way you’d stand there in nothing but one of his t-shirts, cooking breakfast as he tried not to stare. He missed everything about you, and he wanted it back no matter how badly he screwed up.

Which left him here, standing at the front door of your best friend’s house, wondering how in the hell he could make this right. Yoongi gathered his courage, raised his fist, and knocked.

He heard shrieks of laughter, one of which was unmistakable yours, when Yuqi threw open the door. “Food is–”

She stopped short when she saw Yoongi standing there instead of a delivery person. Yuqi put her hands on her hips, tossing him a ferocious glare. Uh-oh. If Yuqi was mad, it meant you had told her your boyfriend was being a jackass. “Is Y/n here?” Yoongi said, trying not to let her death-glare bother him.

“She is.”

“Can I see her?”

“That depends.”

“Yuqi,” your voice said, appearing from behind her. “I’ve got this.”

“Fine. I’ll just be down the street picking up a coffee.”

She grabbed her purse and left, pushing past Yoongi roughly. He gave her back an incredulous look before turning to you. “Hi,” he said timidly.

“Hi.”

“Can I come in?”

You nodded and stepped back to let him in. Yoongi twisted his hands around each other, trying to think of how to begin as you both settled onto Yuqi’s couch. “How have you been?” he asked.

“Fine.”

If Yoongi had asked that question at any other time, you would’ve answered with a full paragraph, gesturing and all. The way you only gave him that single syllable let him know you were hurt, and he hung his head as he realized he was the reason for that hurt.

“Are you gonna come back home today?” he mumbled.

You crossed your arms. “That depends.”

“On what?”

“On if you want me back home.”

“Of course I want you back home.”

“Do you? Did you even notice I was gone?”

“Of course I fucking noticed!”

You winced and Yoongi instantly regretted his sharp tone. “Sweetheart, please. I know I’ve been a total ass, and there’s no excuse in the world I can give for that. Despite what’s going on at work or in other areas of my life, I should always treat you with kindness and respect.”

You let out a choked sob, and Yoongi looked up to see your eyes filled with tears. “I did it for you, you know,” you croaked. “I thought you didn’t want me anymore, so I decided to put some distance in between us. I thought maybe if I did that, the break-up would be less painful.”

Yoongi’s eyes went wide as he realized just how extensive the damage he’d done was. He was afraid you’d push him away, but at this point, he didn’t care. He came and sat next to you, wrapping you in his arms which, of course, only made you cry harder. “Shhhh,” he murmured soothingly, rubbing circles on your back. “Sweetheart, please. Don’t cry. I don’t want to break up with you. I love you.”

“I love you, too,” you sniffled.

You drew apart and Yoongi smiled as he looked into your beautiful, watery eyes. “I’m sorry for being such a jerk.”

You coughed out a laugh. “It’s okay. I’m sorry for jumping to conclusions.”

“Let’s get your stuff and get you home, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

You spent the next few minutes texting Yuqi, letting her know you worked things out and were heading back home, and gathering your things. As you were looking for a shirt you misplaced, Yoongi suddenly grabbed you and spun you around, causing you to shriek.

He pressed his lips to yours, claiming your mouth in a way only he could. “I couldn’t wait another second,” he murmured as he drew back.

You wrapped your arms around his neck. “I never want you to wait to kiss me again.”

“I never will.”

He kissed you again, fervently, passionately, and you groaned as he brushed his tongue along your bottom lip. “Maybe when we get home, I can continue making this up to you,” Yoongi said breathlessly, cocking an eyebrow.

You smirked. “Maybe.”

Shortly after that, you both left, fingers intertwined the same way your souls were intertwined. Every day after that, Yoongi never failed to let you know how much he loved you and wanted you in his life.

[luvdsc]

tag games ;

tagging :: @eggyukhei ; @jaemericano ; @aqiaquas ; @forehead-enthusiast ; @choerrypuffs ; @latetaektalk ; @winetae ; @taeyongtime ; @nochanchu 🌼

—

TAG GAME ONE

tagged by :: @njmin thank you, lovebug! ✨

— tell me the first song that made you stan your current fave group and why did your faves attract you so much?

omg ok it was april 2014, and I was procrastinating on homework and scrolling through youtube. shinee’s lucifer mv was recommended for some reason, and I was intrigued, so I clicked on it. From there, it just spiraled out of control. I was blown away like there’s this one dance move where they all lined up and taemin does this hand motion so fluidly and I was like “this is it.” More shinee mvs were recommended after I clicked that one, so I kept going and watching all the other ones until I watched them all. Their music is just so different and unique, like even after all this time, I can’t find another kpop group who mimics the music style of shinee. and all their solos are absolutely god tier, too!!! they really are gonna be my first and last kpop group. shinee withstood through my stan eras for other groups. I don’t think I’ll ever stop being their fan.

I also found snsd through shinee because their mvs were recommended after I clicked lucifer too. the first one I saw is the iconic gee. taeyeon stood out to me in those mvs. her voice is so distinct, and I’ve been a fan of her ever since. She didn’t have a solo then, but I searched up all her drama osts, song features, everything because I loved her voice so much even back then. so yeah, taeyeon and shinee will forever be my faves, and I love them a lot 💓

TAG GAME TWO

tagged by :: @latetaektalk thank you, linh !! 💖

rule :: answer the ten questions and write your own!

— how are you today?

I’m doing really good! I’m enjoying my summer, and my day is pretty lax. I’ve been facetiming friends, watching chopped, making banh bao with my mom, and doing my daily cardio ✨

— what book has had the biggest impact on your life?

the princess knight by cornelia funke. my elementary school did this thing where your parents can buy a book to donate to the school library under your name for your birthday. this was the book my sister chose for me when I was in kindergarten. I loved that book; I borrowed it so many times and kept rereading it. It’s a children’s picture book about a princess who secretly learns how to joust. the king tries to give her hand in marriage to the knight who wins the competition, but she defeats them all and chooses to marry the gardener’s son who she loves 💕

— what is something you think everybody should have done once in their life?

Travel. There’s just something so wonderful about going to a new place, whether that’s halfway across the world or just the town a few states over. It’s a lovely feeling embarking on an adventure to a place unknown to you where you can meet new people, try new foods even if it’s just a random dish at a restaurant you’ve never been to, and make memories with strangers that no one back home ever has to know about. There’s just something intriguing about being able to go somewhere else and be someone else for an hour or a day or a week before you return back home.

— what story are you the most proud of and why?

on my previous blog, I wrote a fic called the universe of us, and it’s 21k+ wc. I poured my blood, sweat, and tears into that fic, and although I can’t read it now without cringing, I really am super proud of myself for pulling through and writing that. The concept of it was unique, in my opinion, and I would love to rewrite it someday! 💫

on this blog, I am most proud of the dumbing down of love. that fic is personal to me because it is literally comprised of my college experiences in written format and the characters embody my friends. I wrote that over the span of 3-4 nights, and that’s the fastest I’ve ever written a fic of that length. the words just flowed so easily for that fic, and the quesadilla scene was the first thing I wrote, and I’m quite proud of that scene!! 💓

— what has made you really happy recently?

I graduated uni!!!!! 💛💛

— what is the first thing you want to do after this whole pandemic is over and it’s safe to go out again?

I want to eat sushi LOL I haven’t had it in four months, and I’m craving it so badly.... I also want to go out with my friends again! I miss being able to see them everyday and our late night shenanigans ):

— if you had to make a soundtrack/playlist based on your life, how would you call it and which songs would you include?

honestly, these are just a bunch of my favorite songs throughout my entire life. some of them don’t relate to me personally, but I remember listening them on repeat, and I still know all the lyrics to them 💘

title: cue the soundtrack of my life

songs: complicated ⋆ avril lavigne ⋮ check yes, juliet ⋆ we the kings ⋮ the way i loved you ⋆ taylor swift ⋮ a daydream away ⋆ all time low ⋮ that’s what you get ⋆ paramore ⋮ i won’t give up ⋆ jason mraz ⋮ holy ground ⋆ taylor swift ⋮ lucifer ⋆ shinee ⋮ don’t go ⋆ exo m ⋮ 1000 years ⋆ shinee ⋮ breathe ⋆ taeyeon & jonghyun ⋮ coffee ⋆ bts ⋮ you are in love ⋆ taylor swift ⋮ walk you home ⋆ nct dream ⋮ i ⋆ taeyeon ⋮ tell me what to do ⋆ shinee ⋮ mad city ⋆ nct 127 ⋮ gravity ⋆ taeyeon ⋮ blueprint ⋆ stray kids

— what is your favourite breakfast food?

omg it’s this one dish that I order every time I go to the diner near my university, and it’s a smoked salmon eggs benedict with hollandaise sauce and hash browns 🤩🤩

— how did you get into writing and is it something you would like to do as your job?

I’ve always enjoyed writing, and my teachers sent me to the young authors’ faire every year from kindergarten to 8th grade. You don’t really get to write creative stories in class when you’re older though, and I stumbled upon fanfiction, and here we are. It’s not something I want to do as my job though. Writing is simply a fun pastime and hobby for me!! If I was forced to write or profit off of it, then that’d take fun out of it ):

— did you remember to drink enough water today?

yes, I did!! I make sure to drink 6-8 large cups of water a day :’) stay hydrated!!! 🤍

my questions for you:

what’s your favorite jelly bean flavor?

if you hated your child, what name would you give them?

do you pour cereal first or milk first?

do you like pineapple on your pizza?

if you could be a celebrity for the day, who would you be and why?

what are three dealbreakers for you in a relationship?

what’s your favorite word and why?

would you rather punch your ult bias in the face full force or lick the porta potty that hasn’t been cleaned after Coachella weekend?

which song(s) would you cut out from nct’s discography?

what’s the most unique/interesting food you’ve ever eaten?

TAG GAME THREE

tagged by :: @pwarkhans ty, sweetpea! 🌸

rule :: bold the statements that apply to you, italicize your aspirations, then tag nine people.

AIR ༉⋆͙̈

i have small hands / i love the night sky / i watch animals and birds when i pass them by / i drink herbal tea / i wake to see the dawn / the smell of dust is comforting / i’m valued for being wise / i prefer books to music / i meditate / i find joy in learning new truths from the world around me

FIRE ༉⋆͙̈

i don’t have straight hair / i like to wear ripped jeans and overalls / i play an organized sport / i love dogs / i am not afraid of adventure / i love to talk to strangers / i always try new foods / i enjoy road trips / summer is my favorite season / my radio is always playing

WATER ༉⋆͙̈

i wear bracelets on my wrists / i love the bustle of the city / i have more than one set of piercings / i read poetry / i love the sound of a thunderstorm / i want to travel the world / i sleep past midday most days / i love simply lit dinners and fluorescent signs / i rewatch kids shows out of nostalgia / i see emotions in colors not words

EARTH ༉⋆͙̈

i wear glasses or contacts / i enjoy doing the laundry / i am a vegetarian or vegan / i have an excellent sense of time / my humor is very cheerful / i am a valued advisor to my friends / i believe in true love / i love this chill of mountain air / i’m always listening to music / i am highly trusted by the people in my life

AETHER ༉⋆͙̈

i go without makeup in my daily life / i make my own artwork / i keep on track of my tasks and time / i always know true north / i see beauty in everything / i can always smell flowers / i smile at everyone i pass by / i always fear history repeating itself / i have recovered from a mental disorder / i can love unconditionally