re: my last long personal post about the day i had at work today
i'm sorry like i just can't get over it, i can't get over it. i am not there to be ogled, i am not there to be objectified. i'm not there to be a petting zoo or a table. i'm not there for any of it. i feel different enough at work for my age and position.
i'm VERY aware little boys have crushes on me. every now and then, one of them makes it very obvious. it's seriously nothing to me, because it's always been respectful. kids have crushes on adults, especially young ones. but i have no more intention of being a seductress than i would if i were fifty and married. i just so happen to be 25 and single. oh well. i am equally disinterested, and would like to be presumed as equally disinterest-ing. if i get a little unfair halo effect sometimes, i don't care.
it has literally never been so sexual in nature before. it has never been so much about my body, my legs. i worry about the reaction to this being dampened by the effect of the other adults around me seeing that and being like, well, yeah, if he's gonna be interested in anyone's legs, it'll be hers. i feel embarrassed calling attention to the fact that a kid is attracted to me. it has always, always been a non-issue before this. it has always been innocent and respectful of my role as the adult.
i wanna say i don't worry about this happening again, because it is a first. it is a first for me in four years, with dozens if not hundreds of kids, that i've been treated so inappropriately by a child. i worry about this being seen as more natural because it happened to me. but it's not natural just because it happened to me. i'm the teacher that a lot of kids have little crushes on, whatever. i'm not the teacher kids get to pinch and gawk at; that's never happened.
if this happened to me and i were fifty and married, would it be more scandalous? would i just, perhaps, not be believed? i don't know. i don't know. i keep going down these thought spirals of why me. what is the reaction people have to it being me? because while the few people who saw/heard about this seemed not to condone it, they don't seem shocked either. but it hurts, it does, because i'm shocked. that it happened to me. it's like i don't really know if people can put themselves in my shoes more than they can put themselves in his.
a young woman being treated at her place of work as a piece of meat is offensive, but it's everyday. it's banal. a teenage boy having a preoccupation with an adult woman that he can't see as fully human also so normalized. it just feels like an unempathetic view for me is all i can expect. when i already experienced this alone. AND i have to be the one to take responsibility and make others aware about it. because it's not like he was going to... somebody had to. and oh, look, i'm the adult. that makes me somebody.
like i don't even want him to be "punished" per se. i just want to be assured that steps will be taken to stop him from objectifying more women and girls in the future. holy shit, WHAT if he does this to a girl his age? would he? i don't know. i don't know the kid well. i have an idea of why he targeted me, but i don't know what he wouldn't do to someone who was more of his equal. i can't speak for or predict that.
it's just fucking humiliating. hi yeah i'm the substitute from friday. yeah i'm the one he couldn't keep his hands off of. cuz i dared to wear a skirt. yeah, same skirt i've worn to work with kids a bajillion times in the past four years. yeah i guess i was just so seductive. like give me a break; i don't want to receive any more attention for this but it just feels like i'm gonna. i don't know what kind of response i'm going to get to the email i wrote the regular para.
i don't know if i'm gonna have to elaborate further. i feel like i shouldn't have to. i gave her all the details somewhat unemotionally; it just stings the more and more since i got out of work. like i just can't believe that really happened. and the shock was dulled while it was happening, because i didn't believe it was happening. the more hours go by the more i'm like, well, yeah, i did the right thing: escaping that situation as promptly as i could, telling another adult, and emailing the permanent teacher about it.
i keep wanting to act unaffected by it. but i'm just so offended and dismayed. i also feel powerless, because i couldn't be the one to get him to stop. something about my presence to him was an invitation to treat me that way, and my not being amused did not deter him. it feels like the interpretation he had of me was not at all in my control. he wanted to view me as an object, and so i was one in his eyes. the other teachers can scold him for that, make him feel bad for that, but i can't. i'm not really the authority. i'm just the pretty one.
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It takes Steve an embarassingly long moment to realise that the spray isn't doing anything. He tries shaking it… nothing. He even checks by spraying it on his hand, shaking it again. Nothing.
He tries listening as he shakes it again and, though he's sure there's some product still left inside, nothing will come out.
He reluctantly throws it in the little trash can, just next to the toilet door. He doesn't bother rooting through the draws or cabinets either; he'd used the last of his emergency powder kit yesterday. There's nothing left.
He huffs, folding his arms, glaring at his reflection. Specifically at the very overgrown, bright blond roots of his hair.
It brings up the same anxiety he's been having for the past month. It's taken him a long time to save up for his usual hairdressers. He hadn't thought it would take so long but, with the kids and now Robin and Eddie, it shouldn't be that surprising.
Robin often pays a good chunk for things too, often paying him gas money, but it's usually him paying for everything. And now that he's paying rent in his own little appartment? He's not often left with that much at the end of the month.
He's starting to think it's not worth the trip. But he isn't going to start using box dye or anything cheap. He's spent a long time taking care of his hair, spent just as long struggling to find the right products too.
He doesn't even care that the kids and Robin mock him for it, he has great hair and, screw it, he's proud. He's not going to damage it by getting bad hair dye.
He's already booked his next hairdresser appointment for the next day, already saved up gas money too. He might as well ask for bleach instead, go back to his natural color and save himself from anymore days with overgrown roots.
He almost regrets the idea when he gets to work.
"Holy shit, you're a natural blond?" Robins grin looks almost painful with how wide it is. She's a little too excited for his comfort. "I don't know how I didn't guess before. This explains so much. How have you kept this hidden for so long? It's so light!"
"Don't you have work to do?" He bats her hand away when she, again, reaches for his hair.
"Not anymore. Why do you dye it? How did it grow out so much? When did you start hiding it? Did someone pressure you into it? They didn't make fun of you, did they? Because I will hunt them down and-"
"No one made me dye it or bullied me into it," he huffs. He can feel his attempt at a cool demeaner soften with how quickly she jumps to his defense. "I just... I never liked it. I don't think it suits me. Brunettes are cute."
"Are you dyeing it again?"
"Probably not. The hairdresser I go to isn't exactly cheap."
"You can get box dye at-"
"I'm not using box dye."
"It's not that bad, and if you really hate the blond-"
Steve swats at her when she reaches for his hair again. With a heavy sigh, he braces himself for the shift full of questions and jokes of 'betrayal'.
Like he suspected, they don't get much work done.
When Eddie comes in, towards the end of their shift, Steve is almost relieved.
"Stop bullying him without me," Eddie complains.
"Thank you," Steve says, whilst Robin boos. "What is it tonight? Movie night with Wayne or some of the kids?"
But Eddie is frozen, staring at his hair.
"I think he's broken," Robin says after a pause.
"You're blond?" Eddie blinks. "When did you go blond?"
"Always have been," Steve shrugs. "Just... not dyeing it anymore."
"Oh."
Steve and Robin stare at him. They share a glance after a moment.
"You here for a movie?" Steve asks.
"What? Me? No, I- just stopping by. And you're... yeah. I'm gonna- I've got to go. Wayne is waiting and... you know. Bye."
He turns around and practically runs out the store. His wheels squeal a little as he drives out, most likely breaking the speed limit.
"Did he just..." Robin starts, trailing off with a frown.
"Unbelievable," Steve shakes his head. "Just when I give up, he realizes that he likes me too! What the hell, Bob. Is he only into blonds or something?"
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Steve let out the greatest sigh he'd ever heaved. "I can't believe I have to fuck him."
Robin's head whipped to him so fast like he just said he was gonna jump off a building. "You don't have to."
"No I'm gonna", Steve said, eyes not leaving Eddie. He was biting his thumb like he couldn't wait to get alone with him.
Robin looked back at Eddie, who was filling up his plate with things from the picnic table. "I don't see it."
"Because you're a lesbian."
"With taste. And standards. I mean what exactly has got you twirling your hair right now?"
"I mean look at him!"
Eddie had a plate in one hand that already had an open burger on it. The fingers of his other hand danced like they were trilling a piano as he was deciding on what to put on the plate next. He grabbed some chips on the side and then placed the plate down to figure out what he condiment he wanted.
Eddie put his hand on his chin like it was the utmost important decision. Then he grabbed the mayo and the mustard in one hand and squeezed them in a swirl.
"You gonna kiss him with must-ayo breath?", Robin snickered.
"I wish I was that burger", Steve said as he watched Eddie sink his teeth into it. Steve bit his lip while Eddie was licking som stray sauce off his fingers and Robin felt uncomfortable.
"Um, do you, Eddie, and the burger want some privacy."
If Steve was being honest, he didn't fully trust himself to be alone in a room with just Eddie and whatever he was currently feasting on.
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Eddie wasn't drunk. He wasn't even buzzed. No this particular evening, he was simply loopy on lack of sleep. He'd meant to go to bed, honest. But an idea popped into his mind and things kept adding in a delicious stew of inspiration and he just stayed up all night.
When Steve heard that, he nearly cursed him out for driving like that to his house.
"We were supposed to meet today, Steeeeve."
"It could've waited."
"Hmm, one doesn't make the king wait."
Eddie collapsed onto his couch and Steve thought he might conk out right away, but he was valiantly staying awake. Steve sat next to him and thought he might wait to see just in case Eddie fell asleep in the next 15 seconds.
Instead, Eddie reached out slowly with his pointer finger and booped Steve's nose. "It's so pointy", he said in a croaky voice. "Bet the girls loved that."
Steve snorted. "What?"
"When you ate 'em out."
"Dude!", Steve laughed. Eddie was always pretty candid, but this was another brand.
Then Eddie began to draw circles on Steve's face with his finger, all while drawing out that croaky sound before saying "Phooone hoooome."
Steve giggled and Robin finally spoke up from the loveseat.
"Yeah, I'm still here. But you know, movie night can wait or whatever."
----------------------
Steve's hands were in his face as he sat on the edge of his bed. Robin was patting his back reassuringly.
"There, there."
"It's just... Robin you should've seen him."
"I've seen him, babe."
"Not like this he was just-he was so into it!"
Steve had gone to pick up Eddie from the Wheeler's. He figured he'd find the other either with Mike, or maybe even Nancy. But no. Eddie had been in the backyard, in the middle of a very intense game of pretend with Holly. It had taken Steve everything not to strip and beg Eddie to give him his own babies.
"Have I...always been this much of a slut?", Steve asked.
Robin thought for a second before answering. "Yyyeah. But also, you've always been a goofball. Now that I think about it, you and Nancy had kinda an opposites attract thing. But maybe you don't need to opposite. You need someone as silly as you."
"Steve!", Eddie nearly crashed through his door. "We're making a blanket fort downstairs, you in?"
Steve rubbed his face and looked to Robin, admitting defeat with his eyes and then looked to Eddie. "Yeah. I really do."
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Keeping up
Pairing: No outbreak!Joel Miller x reader
Summary: You convince Joel to go on a hike with you, but being that he's 56 years of age, he gets home barely in one piece, which means he needs a massage, which may lead to something more...
Warnings: age gap (reader's 25 and Joel's 56), a lot of sexually allusive jokes and stuff, and very soft and fluffy smut (unprotected p in v sex)
"Keep up, Grandpa!" you called, turning around and catching him taking yet another break.
He had his knee popped to the side and his hands on his waist as he pretended to take in the view while really just trying to calm his heavy breathing
He had fallen behind a while ago, but kept insisting you continued at your pace.
It took a lot of convincing to persuade him to go hiking with you, some unconventional, but definitely effective methods of persuasion were used, and finally, this morning, you had managed to make him cave in.
It was only a two-hour hike, but he was acting like he'd been walking for ten days and nights with no food and water.
"I'm coming!" his voice sounded through the woods.
"You sure?" You couldn't help but grin, watching his chest rising and falling way too quickly
"I just need a moment"
Letting out a breathy smile, you retraced your steps on the makeshift track to reach his side.
"Tired?" you asked, already knowing the real answer, and the one he was gonna give you.
"Nope" he lied, making you chuckle.
He was so predictable
"Ah" you hummed, mocking him "so you're choosing to walk ten steps behind me"
He turned to look at you, his hazel eyes sparking with mischief
"Well, I don't mind the view these leggings of yours are giving me..." he arched a brow as his hands reached for your ass through the fabric.
"perv" you smirked
"Yup, that's me" he nodded, bringing you in for a kiss.
He could never get enough of you.
He had no idea how he had managed to make you fall in love with him, and so he acted accordingly, kissing and touching you every chance he got in case one day he was gonna wake up and this turned out to be just a dream.
"at least you admit it" you joked, biting his bottom lip playfully.
Oh how he fucking loved you
"C'mon now, we're almost there" You smiled that stunning smile of yours that made him almost forget how tired he was.
"You said that an hour ago too, angel" he reminded you
"I did, didn't I?" you smirked, starting up the hill again, and leaving him behind to wonder how the hell he had ended up there.
But then of course he knew... his ability to say no to you seemed to disappear every time his cock was in your mouth.
__ __ __
"goddamnit sweetheart" he groaned, laying on the bed face down.
He didn't bother to change into his clothes simply because he couldn't, the towel around his waist was gonna have to do.
By the look of it, your advice of "A hot shower will help you out" hadn't really worked.
"Poor baby" you cooed, setting your book down on the nightstand to pay attention to him.
"I'm never hiking with you again" he sighed "I'm hurting everywhere"
"I'm sorry" You stifled a smile at his pained expression "Here," you said, getting an idea "How 'bout a massage?"
"Mh that does sound good" he considered
"Yeah?" you asked, getting on your knees beside him
"Yeah darlin'"
You smiled, as you gingerly straddled his hips, not wanting to hurt him.
You rubbed your hands together to make them hot and then gently pressed them against the very top of his broad back, slowly starting to make your way to his shoulders to rub his pain away.
He groaned in pleasure beneath you
"fuck that feels good" he breathed once you applied more pressure.
You chuckled "I've heard that one before"
"Mh, I'm sure you have, angel" he grinned, closing his eyes as you took such good care of him.
You smiled as you started massaging his lower back too, drawing circles with your thumbs and relaxing his muscles one at a time.
"You're really good at this sugar," he spoke, as his hand found your right leg and started caressing it slowly to try and pay you back a little bit.
"Why thank you" Your lips pulled into a smile "I'm a woman of many talents you know?" you murmured sultrily, bending down to gently press a kiss to his neck.
"I know that very well, darlin'"
"Good" you nodded, finishing up his back "Now turn around"
"Yes ma'am" he obeyed immidately once you got off of him, just to climb back immediately once his back was on the mattress.
His heart couldn't help but skip a beat at the sight above him.
You looked so fucking sexy drowning in that shirt of his, and the fact that he was pretty sure you only had a pair of panties underneath it, only made it worst for him.
You didn't seem to notice the way he was practically eating you up with his eyes as you started massaging his chest.
God those hands of yours deserved their special place in heaven
He watched you biting your lips to concentrate as your fingers made all his pain disappear for just a moment.
Suddenly, he noticed a smirk splitting your face as you looked up at him.
"I see somebody isn't as tired as you" You raised an eyebrow before gently rubbing your core against his growing bulge.
"oh fuck" Joel breathed heavily
"Sweetheart..." he murmured pleadingly as you did it again
"What?" you teased
"Trust me I'd love to fuck you right now, but I'm afraid that if I move one single muscle I'll have to go to the emergency room"
The chuckle that left your throat sounded more like angels singing to Joel.
"Who says you have to move a muscle?" you asked mischievously, as your hand slowly reached for the towel around his waist, undoing it in one swift move.
"Oh darlin'" he grinned lazily, "I'll never know what I did to deserve you"
You laughed softly at how happy he looked, before getting rid of his towel and taking his cock in your hand.
He was throbbing already
You stroked him a few times before you let your fingers find your panties and quickly pulled them to the side.
You wasted no time sinking down onto his length.
Giving him this massage had worked you up just as much as him.
his groans merged with your moans at the motion
"f-fuck" you muttered
No matter how many times you had sex with him, your pussy never really got used to the stretch.
"goddamnit darlin', you feel so good" he breathed
You smiled down at him before deciding to take off your shirt.
You didn't want it to get all sweaty...
He groaned even louder at the sight.
Your perfect tits bare before him, your perfect cunt hugging his cock so well, your perfect mouth parted as you sucked in ragged breaths, and then finally your perfect blown-out pupils staring down at him like he was the most handsome man on earth.
You were a fucking vision.
"fucking christ angel-" he growled as you started moving up and down his shaft "Look at you" he whispered, not able to stop his hands once they reached for your waist "How are you this fucking perfect?"
You just let out a breathy chuckle, continuing to bounce on his cock.
God, it felt good.
He always managed to hit that spot inside of you that made you feel better than anything else.
Your nails clawed at his chest, no doubt leaving some scratches, not that he minded... he loved when you marked him up.
Suddenly, you sped up your movements, making him tighten his hold on you
"Jesus Christ sugar" he groaned "How do you still have any energy left?"
I mean every muscle of his had given up even trying, while you... well while you still had the energy to ride him like a damn pornstar.
And he would have liked to say this was the first time something like this had happened, but the truth was that the difference of age between him and you had made itself heard more times than he liked to admit.
He wasn't a teenager anymore, his back wasn't the same, his stamina wasn't the same, and you... Well, you were the exact opposite.
You were unstoppable, and fuck but you were insatiable
Before you, Joel got laid maybe once every six months, and now he found himself having sex at least twice a day.
Not that he was complaining obviously, it's just that he sometimes still wondered how the fuck you managed to pull it off.
"That's what being 25 will do to ya" You smiled, leaning closer to him to kiss his neck
"Mhh" he hummed, as one of his hands reached upwards to grab your tits "You're saying I'm old?"
The soft sound of your laugh tickled his ear
"I'm saying I'm young" you answered, rubbing your nose against his beard until his mouth was right in front of yours and all you needed to do was kiss him.
One of your hands had to grab at his shoulders as you felt your orgasm approach.
"oh fuck baby" you breathed, ghosting his mouth
"you coming?" he asked, watching as you shut your eyes, lost in pleasure.
"mh-mh" you managed to nod, before you hid your face in the crook of his neck and bit down onto whatever piece of skin you could reach.
"That's a good girl" he praised as his left hand found your butt and gave it a good squeeze "Give it to me angel" he urged
And without another word, you did, squeezing him and making him come just as you were coming down your own climax.
If he had to be honest he had been close since you had taken off your shirt.
"mhhh" you hummed satisfied, as you leaned away a little to look at him.
His lips looked way too delicious, so for good measure, you met them with yours for a brief moment.
"goddamnit sweetheart, you're gonna kill me one of these days" he smiled, gently stroking your sides
"Yeah..." a mischievous smirk erupted from your lips "and that day might be today"
"What are you talking about?"
You grinned
"Ready for round two cowboy?"
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