#yeah idk what to tag this it's just a disaster sorry for making u wait this long for it lmao

[glittermork]

Modern Royalty AU pt. 3

part 1 part 2

Summary: Jaemin’s mom is suing the king.

(Alternatively: Renjun and Jeno finally have that talk they’ve been meaning to get to for the last three months, and Jaemin is alive.)

Jaemin hasn’t woken up in a hospital since he was seven and his father bashed an empty soju bottle over his skull. Back then, the scar had been cool and the schoolwork he’d missed was easily made up. His mother had been by his side crying when he’d woken up. His father had given him ten bucks and the new Spider-Man comic for lying to the nurse about how he’d gotten hurt.

Roughly sixteen years later, he wakes up to the sound of someone sobbing.

“Hnnngnhghn,” he says, and the sobbing stops with a choked gasp.

Jaemin peels one eye open and regrets it immediately. Sitting on Jaehyun’s lap on the left side of his bed is Taeyong. (Fuck. Jaemin doesn’t know how to deal with people when they cry! This isn’t part of his job!)

“Oh shit, he’s awake,” he hears Jaehyun mumble, and he just barely resists the urge to roll his eyes, (mostly because he suspects that it would really fucking hurt), as he struggles to sit up. Unfortunately, this is also the exact moment his body decides to let him know that there is a bullet hole in his fucking torso, and maybe he should take that into consideration when he tries to make any sudden movements.

Collapsing on the bed in an uncoordinated flop, Jaehyun smirks at him and Taeyong frowns. “Lay back down, you dummy,” Taeyong sniffles, collecting himself from his boyfriend’s lap. Jaemin would spare a thought to wonder why he’s not worried about being caught, if it didn’t feel like his entire body was on fire. He should probably stop jumping in front of bullets.

“Na Jaemin,” Taeyong begins his lecture, and Jaemin groans. “Do you have ANY IDEA how fucking worried we were about you? You almost died on the operating table! TWICE! I thought we were really going to lose you the second time! What the fuck!”

“I almost died again? Jesus,” Jaemin mutters.

Taeyong splutters. “The fuck do you mean—AGAIN?!”

“You know I had a job before this, right?”

“Well, yeah, of course, but—you know what? No. Shut up. I was worried! And I thought your mom was going to actually strangle my dad and—“

“Hold up, my mother is here?”

Taeyong stares back at him blankly. “You got shot, Jaemin. Of course she came.”

“Your mom is, like, really fucking mad at you, by the way,” Jaehyun says. Jaemin assumes he’s just here for Taeyong’s emotional support.

“Shut up, Jae,” Taeyong groans, drying his tears on his boyfriend’s sweater. “I’m gonna go get a nurse. Play nice or I’m not putting out for a month.”

“Damn,” Jaehyun mutters under his breath, and sits back down in his chair next to Jaemin’s bed. “Seriously, though, kid, the doctor handed your mom your nipple piercings in a plastic bag ‘cuz I guess they had to take them out for surgery or some shit and she fucking, lost her mind.”

“Great! Thanks, Jaehyun! That’s exactly what I wanted to hear, two minutes after waking up from a coma!”

“I didn’t know you had nipple piercings,” he continues, and Jaemin thinks this is maybe the last conversation he’d like to be having right now. He’s tired. and he misses Jeno and Renjun. “Aren’t you, like, five? I didn’t know they let toddlers get nipple piercings?”

“First of all, I’m twenty-three,” Jaemin grumbles, glaring at him. “And I’ve had them since I was eighteen, so fuck you.”

Jaehyun holds his hands up defensively. “Hey, you do you, man, all I’m saying is—“

Jeno and Renjun, of course, decide that it’s the appropriate moment to make an appearance. Seriously, fuck his fucking life. The door flies open, and standing there, in all their slightly-haggard, stayed-at-the-hospital-for-over-24-hours-glory, are the two (2) loves of his life. Jaemin kind of wants to go back to sleep.

“Fucking hell, Nana,” Renjun mumbles, and promptly bursts into tears. Jeno looks mildly alarmed but he’s also holding up his boyfriend with one arm and staring at his other boyfriend (they really need to have that talk) in a hospital bed, so, whatever. Together they sort of half-limp-drag-walk to the unoccupied side of Jaemin’s bed, and now Jaemin has to fight the urge to cry as well. So maybe getting shot is god-awful, but as long as these two are safe, he’d do it again in a heartbeat.

“Please never do that again,” Jeno breathes, and buries his face in Jaemin’s neck. Jaemin wonders if maybe this is some sort of punishment from god or whoever the fuck is up there, for falling in love with the prince and the prince’s boyfriend. There’s no other explanation for why they’re both climbing into his bed, and crying on his shoulders and holding his fucking hands.

“Um. What is happening here?” Jaemin asks Jaehyun, who is currently taking pictures of them for his blackmail folder.

Jaehyun gives Jaemin the most deadpan look, and sighs. “There’s no hope for you.”

He’s about to make a weak retort, when Taeyong, followed by a line of medical professionals, the king, and his mother, burst into the room.

Jaemin sighs. It’s going to be a long morning.

—

“What I don’t understand,” his mother is saying, but Jaemin hasn’t been listening since she started ranting about the Pride photos again. “Is why you didn’t think to tell me that boys you were in love with were the prince that you’re supposed to be guarding and his boyfriend?”

Jaemin shrugs half-heartedly, and licks another spoonful of pudding. They’ve gone over this four times already. He wants to take a nap. He misses his. . . .charges. (Are Jeno and renjun considered his charges? Is that the right word for it? Does he need to maybe cool it with the pain meds? Yeah, probably.)

“Could you keep your voice down?” He winces, and glances out the door. It would honestly be the cherry-on-top of the bullshit-sundae, if he got fired for being in love with Jeno and Renjun after he quite literally just took a bullet for them. Maybe it’s what he deserves.

“Oh, shut up,” his mom rolls her eyes, brushing a lock of Jaemin’s hair out of his eyes, and kissing his forehead. “You know they love you back, right, baby?”

“Mom, I—“

“No, you listen to me, Na Jaemin.“ Shit, she full-named him. “Those two boys have been here since the moment you were admitted. They’ve been crying over you all night and all morning and if you think that doesn’t mean they love you too, you’ve got another thing coming, honey.”

“Mom,” he sighs, and closes his eyes. The Academy didn’t train him for this. “They love each other. I’m sure they were just worried about me because we’re friends. Or they felt guilty that I took a bullet for them. Which they shouldn’t, it’s my fucking job. I’m probably just—reading too far into things. They’ve been in love since they were, like, infants, you know? I can’t mess that up. And I don’t want to.”

His mom gives him an unreadable look, and huffs, shaking her head. “you always were too stubborn for your own good, baby,” she says, and pats his thigh.

“Mom,” he sighs, and hides his face in the sweatshirt Jeno had given him because ‘I know you get cold easily’, (Jaemin had practically swooned right on the spot). He’d looked nervously to Renjun after that comment, but the older boy was just smiling affectionately at both of them, hand easily continuing to stroke the hair at the nape of Jaemin’s neck, his other resting clasped with Jeno’s over Jaemin’s lap. The entire morning had felt unreal.

“Jaemin,” his mom sighs back in the same tone of voice, and gives his sweatshirt a pointed look.

So maybe they do have some things to work out. But he just can’t get his hopes up. He’s doesn’t know what he’ll do if they get crushed.

“Don’t give me that look,” he blushes, tugging the hood over his greasy hair, and grimacing. “When’s the soonest I can take a shower?”

“I don’t know,” Donghyuck replies, poking his head into the room to announce his arrival. “You should’ve thought of that before you jumped in front of a bullet, idiot.”

“Hyuck!” Jaemin grins, making grabby hands at the giant plushie Hyuck is balancing with a bouquet of sunflowers and what looks like the entire boxed set of Buffy DVDs Jaemin keeps in the back of his closet.

“What’s up, Nana,” he grins, handing his mother the flowers and setting the DVDs on his bedside table. “How’s my favorite little bodyguard doing?”

“Shut up, Hyuck,” Jaemin rolls his eyes, hugging the soft bumblebee plushie to his chest. “I'm guessing the flowers are from your other thirds?”

“Yeah, Mark said sorry he couldn’t be here, poor baby’s been arguing with the charity ball security team all morning. The plushie is from Jisung, though.”

“Yikes,” Jaemin winces, “tell him I’m sorry I can’t be there to help him. And I know it’s from Jisung, I got his for him for his birthday last year.”

Hyuck shrugs. “I forgot about your weird symbiotic relationship. Anyway, clean up is Mark’s best skill, Nana. Besides, you should tell him yourself—he hasn’t stopped anxiety-ing over you all morning.”

“Tell him the flowers are lovely, too!” His mother interjects, gathering her purse and jacket and kissing him on the forehead. “I’m gonna go get lunch and find that dumbass king of yours—“ “Mom! Promise me you won’t—“ “I’m not promising anything!” She finishes, calling over her shoulder as she swings out the door. Jaemin would be assed to stop her if he didn’t already know what a losing fight looked like.

Hyuck rolls his eyes, and peels open Jaemin’s other pudding. Jaemin just barely suppresses the urge to pout.

“What kind of shit are they feeding you in here, anyway?” He asks, licking the lid, and Jaemin slumps back onto his pillows.

“Mush.”

“Gross. Okay! I’m done with small talk, time for the real reason why I’m here: you took a fucking bullet for them.”

“Hyuuuuck,” he whines, smashing his face back into the bumblebee plushie to avoid Hyuck’s knowing gaze. “Can’t you just be a normal visiting friend and tell me I was brave or some shit?”

“Fine. You were brave! And incredibly fucking stupid! Now, please tell me how you call that ‘a little crush that I’ll get over eventually’?”

“In case you haven’t noticed,” Jaemin mumbles into the pillow, “it’s kind of my fucking job.”

Hyuck sighs dramatically, and plops down on the newly-vacated chair. “Hopeless,” he mutters, and shoves another spoonful of low-fat pudding in his mouth.

—

The nurses had cut him off after two seasons of Buffy, so Jaemin and Hyuck had elected to play quiet music and talk about food. A subject neither of them could ever grow tired of.

Hyuck’s not really sure how that turned into this.

There are tears streaming down Jaemin’s face. It’s only two in the afternoon. The Weekend by SZA is playing for the sixth time in a row. Hyuck is five seconds away from murdering him in cold blood. His bullet wound kind of throbs but maybe it’s just his heart breaking into a million pieces.

“You’re not a side hoe,” Hyuck groans, snatching Jaemin’s phone and turning it off.

“Fuck you,” he sniffles, leaning back on the crinkly hospital pillows, “I’m a home wrecker. And I’m ugly.”

“You’re so incorrect about both of those things that I’m not gonna even respond to that! Okay, I think that’s enough phone-time. How about we just talk, okay? Doesn’t that sound nice?”

Jaemin sniffs. “Maybe,” he admits, sinking slowly into his pillow pile until the only visible part of him is his hair sticking out like an unruly tree branch.

Hyuck snorts. “Do you want to go to take a nap, baby?”

“Shut up.” Jaemin replies, and promptly passes out.

“Absolutely fucked,” Hyuck sighs to himself as he tucks the younger boy in.

—

Renjun has never been certain of anything as much as he and Jeno.

JenoJenoJeno. He could talk about him for days on end. He could wax-poetic about his eyesmile and his teeth and his hands for the rest of his life. Really, he plans to. Jeno, Jeno, Jeno. The boy he’s loved for as long as he can remember.  

And while Jeno is lovely and beautiful and Renjun’s very best friend in the entire world, he has a tendency to hang off Renjun’s every word. And while that’s, admittedly, fantastic, it’s not always what Renjun needs. Sometimes he needs someone to push back. Someone who can meet him blow for blow. Someone who’s not afraid to talk back.

In other words, Renjun needs Jaemin.

JaeminJaeminJaemin. His ears, his nose, his cheeks. Renjun could think about him for hours—days—weeks, on end. He feels like the wind is knocked out of him every time the bodyguard makes eye contact with him with that gorgeous smile. That smile. Renjun has dreams about it.

And, if his suspicions are correct, (fucking hell, please let them be) Jeno needs him too.

“So,” says Jeno after fifteen minutes of him and Renjun staring at each other across the unforgiving plastic benches of the hospital cafeteria.

“I think I’m in love with your bodyguard,” Renjun blurts out, and then immediately freezes.

“Oh, good,” Jeno sighs in relief. “Me too.”

—

“You can’t sue him,” Taeyong sighs for what feels like the hundredth time.

“Of course I can’t sue him,” Jaemin’s mom rolls her eyes. “He’s the fucking king. I’d lose in a heartbeat.”

“Then what, exactly,” Taeyong pinches the bridge of his nose, “was the point of you wasting my entire day?”

She shrugs, and takes a neat sip of the Diet Coke the prince had bought her after the first twenty or so minutes of arguing. “Just buying my idiot son some time to figure his shit out.”

—

Jaemin wakes up to the two people he’s most recently almost died for. It’s a pleasant surprise, considering he thought he’d be fired by now. Shit. Maybe they wanna do it in person?

“—min? You’re not listening to us at all are you?” Renjun chuckles, and Jaemin feels his cheeks heat up in embarrassment. So much for not being obvious. These meds are seriously fucking him up, huh?

“Jaem,” Jeno continues for Renjun, grabbing his boyfriend’s hand. Despite his better reasoning, Jaemin let’s his gaze rest painfully, just a second too long, on their clasped hands, and sits back against his pillows with a wince. Apparently, it’s time to be friend-zoned by the first people he’s been interested in since he was 20. What a sad end to a short career as a professional Kevlar vest.

“Jun, and I have finally had a talk, and—“We love you!” Renjun blurts out, and then promptly buries his head in Jeno’s shoulder as the prince chokes out a laugh in surprise. “Yeah,” he nods hopefully, staring expectantly at Jaemin as he scratches the back of his neck. “We love you. And we want you to be ours. That about covers it.”

Jaemin is absolutely floored. There are very few people in the world who Jaemin considers worthy of his complete love and protection, and two of them are standing here in his room looking at him like he’s the last piece to their 2000 set jigsaw puzzle, and this cannot be real.

He’s distracted from his own frantic, rambling thoughts by Renjun’s delicate, light fingertips brushing away a tear. That’s an interesting development, he hadn’t realized he’d been crying.

Through a few disgusting, choked out sobs, he manages to warble in his stupid, watery voice, “I love you too.” And then lips—he doesn’t know, and, frankly, doesn’t care who’s—are on his like a lifeline, and there’s nothing he feels like thinking about more right now, than how good it feels to finally, finally be complete.

In Renjun and Jeno’s strong, warm, arms, it feels like home.

—

There’s something to be said about the persistence of the paparazzi. Somehow, someway, they always know where to be to make the most absolute inconvenience of themselves and to make their subjects’ lives just that much less private. Truly, a marvel of a job.

There is also, however, something to be said about the sheer terror of going head to head with Jaemin’s mom.

“LISTEN UP, YOU FUCKING CREEPS,” she yells, and Jaemin doesn’t bother listening to the rest. “That was a pretty good start, I think,” Renjun comments, happily playing with the strings of Jaemin’s hoodie. He’s sitting on Jaemin’s lap and they’re both snuggled under the hideous blanket some nurse had draped over them when they’d gotten situated on the wheelchair. It still feels unreal to Jaemin, just as unreal as the sweet kiss Jeno drops on both of their foreheads as he skirts around them to deal with even more paperwork. Who knew even the prince’s bodyguard had to sign release forms?

“I can’t wait to get home,” Jaemin murmurs shyly into the base of Renjun’s neck, receiving a mouthful of soft, baby-pink turtleneck for his efforts.

“Me too, baby,” Renjun sighs, leaning further into his boyfriend’s embrace.

*click*

Their moment is interrupted by the snap of Jeno’s phone camera, as the prince shrugs at them sheepishly. “What?” He laughs, turning back to his paperwork. “It was perfect lock screen material, don’t judge me!”

Jaemin blushes, thinking back to his own lock screen, a picture of Jeno and Renjun he’d taken on one of their many forbidden, late-night, this-never-happened adventures. Renjun is on Jeno’s back, kissing Jeno’s cheek and holding up a peace sign, and Jeno is practically beaming at the camera, eye smile in full power. It’s Jaemin’s favorite picture of them ever, and he’s certainly spent an embarrassing number of nights staring at it desperately. Oh, if only he knew what was coming for him.

When he shows Renjun, the older boy gasps, immediately shoving it in Jeno’s face. “Oh, baby, this is one of my favorite pictures of us too! But, if I’m being honest, it’s missing something.”

“Hey!” Jaemin pouts playfully, trying not to grin. “It was the best I could do with my shitty old phone! I promise I’ll take many, many more.

“He didn’t mean the photo, Jaem,” Jeno laughs, leaning over to wrap Jaemin’s slightly-shaking hand in his warm, steady one. “He meant you.”

“Oh.” Jaemin, gasps, tears welling up in his eyes. How did he possibly get so lucky?

“Awwww, baby,” Renjun grins brightly at him. “We’re just gonna have to take a million more,” he shrugs.

Jeno nods solemnly in agreement, as he takes the safety brakes off of the wheelchair. Renjun slides off his lap reluctantly, taking Jaemin’s hand and tucking his blanket tighter around his shoulders.

“Ready?” Jeno grins, flicking his favorite pair of baby blue heart-shaped sunglasses down from their perch on the top of his head. Jaemin makes a mental note to buy him more colors when Renjun playfully whines that he wants to borrow them.

“Let’s go, you fucking dorks,” Jaemin laughs, tugging on Renjun’s hand and leaning his head back gently against one of Jeno’s arms. Renjun squeezes back and Jeno grins down at him, leaning down to peck Jaemin’s nose, and they’re out the door in mere seconds, to the flashes and screams of paparazzi and reporters alike.

Jaemin instinctively stiffens in his wheelchair, but relaxes immediately as both Jeno and Renjun squeeze his respective hands tightly in comfort.

It’s going to be fine. He has everything he needs, right beside him.

[luminous-shifting-vibes]

*sequel* to actual fucking quotes from the shiftblr coffeehouse discord server

once again, it's out of context because x1000 funnier

also x1000 longer than previous post

"ur satan is gnc af"

"Bestie I’m already having gender envy over a fucking demon please"

"O_O ODEPIJHFbavevisdpvfhzdcnjawedsidjksjdkoeirjfmkdsoeirujdksodifjndmksoidfjdksidfj ITS" NOT IN MY FRAFTS IS SPEDNT 1 hour PN THAT SHIT"

"AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

"ohoho sexy"

"I am very proud of myself"

"himbo x edgy fuck"

"YOU COULD SQUISH HES CHEECKS"

"he has teefs"

"SQUASH"

"good for biting 📷"

"he's a himbo basically"

"B͂̒̄iͫ̍̈tͧ̓ͯè̄̇"

"bifth"

"i havent watched blue exorcist in years but mr okumura my beloved </3"

"MY LIFE QUESTIONS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED"

"is it important information to mention that the person i put up for my turn is the son of satan" "I know like 1 thing about everyone who isnt ranboo lmfao"

"crimes"

"tumblr sexyman"

"idk why but my first thought was cowboy onceler"

"I vibe with him but he is very long and twisty"

"steampunk e-girl"

"steampunk tumblr sexyman"

"Canonically bi crimelord I agree!!"

"OOO FRIEND SHAPED"

"ARTIST SIGHTED"

"they look like someone i would want to be friends with but is way cooler than me so i'd never actually talk to them"

"babby..... would die for him"

"honestly i probably kin him"

"i'm sure he's lovely but he looks way too much like my ex i'm sorry-"

"i'd be down for another rotation! i have another twink to show y'all"

"Also :00 blonde friend"

"Let us all infodhmo"

"Hsjagdvbs shhh im on phone"

"Nix woukd you like to joon?

"skitters away"

"I have two braincells and they both drink dumb bitch juice"

"oof wait whats the order again i have 0 memory"

"i want to bond with him over cosplay-"

"Awkwardly watches in band kid"

"One day I'm gonna a broadway star"

"which isnt to say they were bad. they were just fortnite dancing during rehersals"

"I threw it so hard my glasses flew off and slid under the stage right divider"

"anyway heres my boi"

"emo"

"haha emo"

"virgil sanders kinnie"

"he looks like he listens to my chemical panic at the fallout boy"

"Bro I bet he'd kick my ass with his deck"

"bird man my beloved"

"fuck i had so much to say and then i forgot it all"

"Birds!!"

"guiguhuh"

"crabrave"

"She sounds like someone I would end up stealing her personality"

"yess name collector gang"

"alias glass aiden haven absinthe fish brick rice"

"But I have Cypress, Remure, Genesis, Lemres, and Comet"

"And she's named after a mars candy bar bc alien"

"Hey, if plato went by plato, you can be king thief"

"im not dissing my gramma like that shfojd"

"My dad has seven legal names" "bitches be like *looks at fictional character* *steals their name* it's us we're bithces"

"coraline lowkey traumatized me but i adore it regardless"

"mmmmmm magic man :]"

"°0° green man"

"criminal (affectionate)"

"he would shoplift a candy bar from walmart and then brag to all of his friends about the sick stealing he did"

"despite the fact he's canonically been capable of overpowering a minor deity"

"i would commit so many crimes for him"

"Very babey"

"Yes please tell green man he is very pog"

"he also keeps a lot of dumb secrets"

"but I will sorely miss the chaos and energy of this here chat until I wake again" (by request XD)

"i just say words and if they're funny then they're funny"

"* or extremly chaotic either works"

"at this point we are just taking turns rambling"

"oH--"

"bc my brain has a schedule"

"Hopefully they have gyoza there or I will lose my mind"

"hehe yes spooky man"

"my ghost glucose guardian"

"the head of the undead group that lives there, and we end up dating. (yes I date a ghost, no I will not be taking constructive criticism /lh)"

"ghosts r just inherently sexy"

"i mean im becoming a squid thing so"

"Raven quirk raven quirk!!"

"ł â m p"

"łæmp"

"mothman: ooh lamp you look very nice today! do you come here often? mothman: wait shit no"

"I'd date a ghost"

"mine is still accurate, i am still sobbing (/j)"

"p e e p e e"

""@nick wilde is a tumblr sexyman" is the best thing i have ever seen"

"im sorry im cackling like a dying hyena"

"you're all 12 year olds"

"PEENIE"

"He once caused global warming on accident so he could get a tan"

"god, what a himbo. i love him"

"that reminds me of my friends kin assigned me jesus"

"Man outside of battle be like: princely crying but then in battle hes like: "CATACLYSM! DISASTER! DEVASTATION!" Chill out man"

"Every time I talk about satan it never fails to shock people it's my favorite thing to do"

"im kin assigning him roman sanders" ""Oh yeah he caused global warming because he wanted to get girls" "he what""

"oh damn i forgot satan was straight"

"twink appreciation club"

"give us the twinks"

"my first thought was bottom-"

"so many people to try and get his dad to love him"

"daddy issued"

"OH MY GOD ITS WILBUR"

"Big boy but"

"anyways janus is swagggg"

"........................."

"gib twink"

"give twink then i will share"

"holds him gentle like hamburger"

"This dumb bitch opened a book that said "do not open" and got possessed by a little bastard"

"he is. fragile creachur"

"klug is beauty klug is grace i would let him step on my face"

"If I'm playing swap and I have to hear one more "Pwanet Powew" Im gonna lose it"

"Who is to blame? Pandora or the box?"

"Bakugo isnt my type but I respect the drip"

"i say like my type isnt long-haired pretty boys and girls that look so gnc that people have a history of confusing them for men"

"hes a gremlin and i can appreciate a pretty gremlin"

"that is to say i am attracted to VFlower vocaloid. This is a confession."

"note i am a lesbian"

"You may like Schezo wegey"

"why does he have one single expression"

"soul soul eater passes the vibe check"

"magic wand"

"I Want To Hold His Hand"

"i would commit a war crime for him any war crime idc which one"

"my favorite one is when he sounded rlly gay because he said "Muscular bodies keep me satisfied""

"p e a n u t"

"Klug is a homophobic homosexual its just facts"

"grug from the croods is peak male performance"

"jaw drops to floor, eyes pop out of sockets accompanied by trumpets, heart beats out of chest, awooga awooga sound effect, pulls chain on train whistle that has appeared next to head as steam blows out, slams fists on table, rattling any plates, bowls or silverware, whistles loudly, fireworks shoot from top of head, pants loudly as tongue hangs out of mouth, wipes comically large bead of sweat from forehead, clears throat, straightens tie, combs hair Ahem, you look very lovely."

"tag yourself im the fireworks shooting from the top of the head"

"i like essays"

"central time gang"

"11:11 pog-" (wait... is that a suprise angel number?? yes it is lovelies just for you <3)

"Then again im also a dumbass bitch who wonders what the souls in soul eater taste like. SERIOUSLY THOUGH. THEY LOOK TASTY AS HELL!!!! LIKE GODDAMN BRO YOU'RE MAKING ME FUCKING HUNGRY. Like. that shit- it's Bone Apple motherfucking Teeth. hell yea my guy. Im hongy now.... shlorp I'm seriously considering this. Like. They seem kinda like a liquid? But a solid? Are they like jello? The fuck they taste like my guy???? I keep imagining they're like sour, like sour candy maybe? Or do they taste salty? Sweet? Maybe some combo of two? Do they even have a taste or is it about the texture? The sensation? God my mouth is watering what the hell. I am starving. I think I need to go get a cookie. I'm gonna go get a cookie. Brb. I'm better. I'm still craving souls though. Which is a weird-ass cringey thing to say but I'm being dead-ass rn. They just.... look tasty???? And I wanna eat one. Thus. I am shifting to Soul Eater for the express purpose of satisfying my fucking cravings. enjoy"

"points were made"

"jello? more like helloooo schloooAHFJDSDAIDWNALDHSJKDAIDANDM"

"WAIT I THINK I HAVE AN ANIME GIRL BITING VIDEO TOO"

"anime girl voice: mmm! mm... ahhhhmp!! mmm, mmm... aaahmp!"

"i think it sounds great i'm going to start eating like that"

"several people are typing"

"do these look edible to you"

"forbidden gummies"

"when I was on lsd I couldn't eat my fruit gummies because I thought they were alive because they had little faces on them"

"oh shit yeah don't do drugs"

"anyways general consensus is puyos are edible, ty for your input everyone"

"everypony is a word so powerful it can bring nations to its knees"

"pls the self control it's taking me not to say "hewwo everypony" in gen chat when someone new joins-"

"hewwo evewrypony uwu deaw cewestia i hopwe it doewsnt wain owo"

"ive cooked up a sowution wiwth the knowwege ive acwued. they say a kitcwen time saves niwne, but im just savwing two. Ive gathewwed the inwedients to make a time sowbet. Thewe's hawdly woom fow seconds when the seconds mewt away."

"I had a ten year old sister... you know what happened to her??? very sad, very tragic... she turned eleven....."

"NIIICE"

"Guts dont say the secks word :( /j"

"watch your fucking language in front of the president"

"im so sorry lumi"

"i think you're like ehhhh 8/10 funny"

"now me???? 10/10. Hilarious"

"sometimes i have to take a step back and remember that this is the same guts i follow on tumblr /lh"

""ok every here's some good shifting advice!!! uwu have a good day" "yeah i did lsd and ate fruit gummies""

"i have one setting and it's whatever this is"

"my bitch ass cat just pushed the door open with his fuzzy face and now my sleeping dad is being lulled into dreams by Cosmo Sheldrake's 'Pliocine'."

"me on discord: nick wilde"

"me on tumblr: shifting water! haha funne! me on here: my hermit crabs are cannibals also i want to eat souls."

"im sorry yOUR VIBESA RE JUST SO DIFFERNT"

"u give off older cousin ive never spoken to but always admire at the family gatherings vibes"

"what the fuck"

"BC I HAVE LIBERTU"

"If you adopt me then yes"

"am I qualified for dad jokes???"

"we're all a lot smarter on tumblr"

"I'm like "awww... sweet... sweet little shiftlings... posting such sweet shiftling content... so pure, so wholesome... does not even know abcs....""

"can't think before you speak if you never think B)"

"I'm not responsible enough to be a mom"

"cat pet"

"show us pictures of the cat or i will do Crime"

"maybe thats me being a coward tho"

"MOTH!!!! MOTH MY BELOVED"

if y'all want I can make this a series bc shiftblr keeps giving me more content

[toadcircus]

i was tagged by @beastiebros 

rules: answer these 85 statements about yourself, then tag 20 people.

1. last drink: apple and blackcurrant squah boiii

2. last phone call: I called my friend for the whole like, half hour journey to uni bc he was on his way home for a week, which I didn’t realise and im sad bc I didn’t see him all of last week bc the security in the building he lives in don’t like me and always come up to spy on us and I am not about that at all

3. last text message: “same about to get in the lift” to my friend who I was meeting to get the bus to uni with, last monday

4. last song you listened to? “no light no light” by Florence and the machine

5. last time you cried? Yesterday bc I get overwhelmed by simple tasks

6. dated someone twice? Lmao I’ve barely dated anyone let alone one person twice

7. kissed someone and regretted it? Hoo yeah awkward shit

8. been cheated on? nah

9. lost someone special? Yeah I guess?

10. been depressed? Not been diagnosed with anything but I do get uhh depressive states I Guess

11. gotten drunk and thrown up? Yeah lmao

12. fave colors: I like primary colours and also dark blue

in the last year have you…

15. made new friends? Yeah tons bc uni

16. fallen out of love? Mmm unfortunately not

17. laughed until you cried? Yeah a couple times

18. found out someone was talking about you? Yh I heard my flatmate mention me once and misgender me so now im like knife eyes

19. met someone who changed you? Lots of people

20. found out who your friends are? Yeahh? Idk what this means

21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list? Uhh yes I think like 4 people

general

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl? Most of them JNFDSKJGHS im not gonna count im lazy

23. do you have any pets? Used 2 hav a dog but all dogs go 2 heaven. Also I love that film that film was my whole childhood

24. do you want to change your name? legally yh I want 2 change it 2 richard but im lazy and clueless about how to do it

25. what did you do for your last birthday? I went 2 the pub with uni friends and it was super super sweet

26. what time did you wake up today? Like 11/12 bc im a disaster

27. what were you doing at midnight last night? Probably watching jane the virgin

28. what is something you cant wait for? To get on T BINCH and also to move into my new house in july

30. what are you listening to right now? Nothing I cant listen 2 music and write who do u think I am, superman???

31. have you ever talked to a person named tom? That’s my brothers name KJGDKGD

32. something thats getting on your nerves? How dirty the kitchen is

33. most visited website? Def tumblr like 100% im always here its lame

34. hair color: mousey brown, what it is now

35. long or short hair: short

36. do you have a crush on someone: we’re sorry! You must purchase the premium toadcircus package to unlock this answer.

37. what do you like about yourself: I like that I can make people laugh, I like my nose, I like that I think in a bit of a squiffy way compared 2 other people bc sometimes its cool

38. want any piercings? I want 2 get my ear pierced maybe and get a little ring that’d look cool I think. Maybe my bridge pierced idk

39. blood type: dude idk

40. nicknames: Richard (Im putting my actual name as a nickname bc its used more as a nickname than my nickname is), ricky, richardio, ricardio, rich…. Charlie called me Bichy once I think, which is a hightlight

41. relationship status: single as HELL and sad about it

42. zodiac: libra

43. pronouns: he/him

44. fave tv shows: always sunny, peep show, that mitchelle and webb look, jane the virgin, crazy ex girlfriend, dirk gently holistic detective agency, Brooklyn 99… I like a lot of shows, more than this. I just cant remember them

45. tattoos: none atm but I want some

46. right or left handed: right

47. ever had surgery: no

48. piercings: septum

49. sport: rolling fat doinks

50. vacation: I want 2 go to Amsterdam

51. trainers: what

more general

52. eating: I wish you didn’t have to eat and instead you’d just take these like, nutrition pills and that eating was like, a hobby or something. Bc I don’t like it much altho I boredom eat quite a lot so im just a hypocrite. Oh I just saw the next question, u mean what im eating right now gkjfkgd nothing

53. drinking: squash

54. im about to watch: not the latest crazy exgf ep, but the one before bc I got half way thru apparantely and just stopped and I forgot what I watched anyway so im gonna rewatch it

55. waiting for: to get deeper into my new projects. That sentence doesn’t make sense but that’s the questions fault, not me

56. want: I want 2 do a bong hit and play more half life 2 TBH

57. get married: hopefully someday

58. career: hopefully drawing shit. Commission me

which is better

59. hugs or kisses: literally anything

60. lips or eyes: eyes. I notice eyes first like the colour and stuff but good lips r essential (don’t hold me to this if I date someone with weird lips)

61. shorter or taller: I don’t mind, being with someone shorter would make me feel taller but then we’d both be really short idk… taller probs

62. older or younger: no one older than like… 26 atm I think. Or younger than 18 obviously but I think maybe actually 19 bc that’s uni age. So is 18 idk idk

63. nice arms or stomach: arms

64. hookup or relationship: relationship 100%

65. troublemaker or hesitant: troublemaker

have you ever

66. kissed a stranger: yeah hoohoo

67. drank hard liquor: yeee

68. lost glasses: I don’t have glasses

69. turned someone down: yeahh

70. sex on first date: no

71. broken someones heart: hhhhhhh probably (this is dabbens answer but it was legit what I was going to type)

72. had your heart broken: yh binch probably

73. been arrested: No and hopefully never amen

74. cried when someone died: yeah ofc

75. fallen for a friend: yeah

do you believe in

76. yourself: kind of! I believe I can do fun big things hopefully but only if I stop being so scatty

77. miracles: I suppose

78. love at first sight: kind of yeah. I think sometimes you can tell when you’re attracted to someone when you first see them and sometimes you can fall in love with them also

79. santa claus: nop

80. kiss on a first date: sure if he’s cute and im feelin it

81. angels: sort of

other

82. best friend’s name: I don’t like saying people are my best friend because im always scared that they wont see me as their best friend when I see them as mine so I just have friends but some friends that I see and think about more often

83. eye colour: blue

84. fave movie: idk there r 2 many 2 choose

85. fave actor Armie Hammer is hot shit and I want 2 look at him all the time.

i’m gonna tag

@dreamsweetinseamajor @groovy-vampire @ickyyy @furcoat

[sadrien]

prince of cats

chapter three: the gentle fine is this

on ao3 || on ffnet 1 | 2 | 3

two things:

1. i remembered what i was going to say last week: this is a really REALLY cliche fic, so if you're not into that you may want to rethink your reading, but also, this is me so i think everyone expects dcom 2. i accidentally put the wrong tags in ch1, and that's been changed, but just so we're clear, i'm using #proc ml and #prince of cats ml for this fic

enjoy~

“You are not my cat,” Marinette says simply.

Plagg meows in response.

She sighs and drags a hand through her hair. She now has to add ‘return cat’ to her list of things to do today. She would just leave Plagg be and let him run back to Adrien, but something tells her Plagg isn’t much of an outdoor cat. That something being Adrien’s reaction to Plagg making a break for it.

Also, Plagg looks comfortable in his patch of sun. If Marinette knows anything about cats, it’s that Plagg isn’t moving any time soon.

She crosses her arms. “You’re going to have to wait for me to change,” she tells him. She refuses to go knocking on Adrien’s door in a pair of ratty old pajamas with Sailor Moon on the pants.

Plagg just closes his eyes and turns his face toward the sun.

✦ ✦ ✦

From: fashion goddess / bread To: holy trinity      Sos I have his cat

From: the Most Beautiful / queen of my heart To: holy trinity      what      ninos too lazy 2 get his phone he says what too

From: fashion goddess / bread To: holy trinity      My neighbor      Adrien      I have his cat

From: spielberg / heart eyes To: holy trinity      what the fuck

From: fashion goddess / bread To: holy trinity      Did you go get your phone just to say that

From: spielberg / heart eyes To: holy trinity      its an important question

From: fashion goddess / bread To: holy trinity      Ok well I opened my kitchen window and now…      Now Ive got a cat

From: the Most Beautiful / queen of my heart To: holy trinity      r u keeping the cat

From: fashion goddess / bread To: holy trinity      Of course Im not keeping the cat!!!!!!!

From: the Most Beautiful / queen of my heart To: holy trinity      rip

From: spielberg / heart eyes To: holy trinity      ive always seen you as more of a cat person anyway mar      are you going to let the cat do whatever or???

From: fashion goddess / bread To: holy trinity      Im gonna bring him back to adrien

From: the Most Beautiful / queen of my heart To: holy trinity      oooo contact!!!

From: fashion goddess / bread To: holy trinity      Oh my god shut up

From: the Most Beautiful / queen of my heart To: holy trinity      idk what u were expecting when u texted me tbh

From: spielberg / heart eyes To: holy trinity      please snapchat me lots of cat pics

From: the Most Beautiful / queen of my heart To: holy trinity      please snapchat me pics of the cute neighbor

From: fashion goddess / bread To: holy trinity      Yes to the cat pics no to the creepy pics

From: the Most Beautiful / queen of my heart To: holy trinity      :’(

✦ ✦ ✦

Marinette scoops Plagg up in her arms and he immediately starts nuzzling against her. “I’m going to be covered with cat hair, aren’t I?” she mumbles, scratching behind Plagg’s ears. “You’re lucky that you and your owner are both cute.”

Plagg purrs happily.

“You’re just lazy, aren’t you?” Marinette muses. She carefully pulls her front door open with Plagg still in her arms and tries the knob once to make sure it doesn’t lock behind her. Then she knocks on Adrien’s door as Plagg climbs out of her arms and attempts to get up onto her shoulder.

It takes a few moments for Adrien’s door to open. His hair is a mess and he’s still wearing the clothes she saw him in the day before, they’re just more rumpled.

Marinette gives him a weak smile and pulls Plagg off her sweater. “I found something that belongs to you.” She holds a squirming Plagg out to him.

Adrien stares at Plagg for a moment. Plagg hisses and Adrien rolls his eyes and takes Plagg from Marinette. “How did you get out?” he asks Plagg as the escapee swipes at his nose.

“He was sitting in my kitchen,” Marinette explains. “Found a spot in the sun after I opened the window.”

Adrien frowns and looks back over his shoulder into his apartment. “I don’t think I…” He turns to Marinette with wide eyes. “Can cats open windows? Is this something that no one ever tells you?”

Marinette bites back a smile. “I’ve never had a cat, I wouldn’t know.”

“I’ve only had Plagg for like three months,” Adrien admits. Plagg squirms and jumps out of Adrien’s arms, disappearing into Adrien’s apartment. Adrien sighs. “Plagg is definitely a cat. I don’t know if he likes me that much, but I feed him, so he sticks around.”

Marinette grins awkwardly. “You know how you said you washed all of the glitter out?”

“Yeah?”

She rocks back on her heels. “Well, um…you didn’t. He sparkles in the sun.”

Adrien squints at her. “Are you telling me my cat is a hundred seventeen year old vampire?”

Marinette blinks at him in surprise. “That’s a big secret for your cat to keep from you.”

Plagg meows loudly.

“Do you think that’s confirmation or denial?” Adrien asks.

She laughs. “I don’t think you have enough information yet.”

“I’ll keep a close eye on him,” Adrien promises with a brilliant smile. Marinette’s heart swoops and she feels some more of her resolve melt. Adrien glances into his apartment. “Uh…would you like some…coffee or something? For returning my cat?”

Marinette feels her cheeks grow warm. “I appreciate the offer but I’m not really a coffee person.” She hates herself. She should’ve lied and forced herself to drink bitter bean water. Alya’s going to be disappointed in her.

He rubs the back of his neck. “Not your thing?”

“If there’s enough sugar to mask the taste?” She shrugs. “I drank a lot of really sugary coffee drinks in university and I’m just—” she gestures randomly with a hand. “I probably don’t need that much caffeine or sugar.”

“Fair enough.” Adrien steps out of the doorway and for a second, Marinette thinks their brief conversation is over. “Do you want to come in for like… I think I might have orange juice? Or milk?”

Her heart leaps to her throat as she tries not to nod too eagerly. “I’d like that a lot.”

✦ ✦ ✦

Marinette has always thought that you can learn a lot from people’s living place. What they surround themselves with, how they interact with it— What she learns about Adrien is that he either isn’t a fan of interior decorating or he still hasn’t gotten around to unpacking boxes several months later.

His apartment is relatively bare, bar for the furniture and a few sticky notes stuck to a wall. The layout is similar to her own, but it feels so foreign and strange. A bit empty and sort of sad feeling.

Plagg leaps up onto the couch and makes himself comfortable on a black blanket draped over the back.

“I learned early on that if I’m going to have a black cat, everything might as well be black,” Adrien says as he wanders toward the kitchen. “It’s just not possible to keep the fur off anything.”

“I can imagine.” Marinette leans against the counter as Adrien opens the fridge. The kitchen looks significantly more lived in than the actual living portion of the apartment. There's a laptop on the small table in the center of the kitchen, papers scattered around it and thick leather bound books stacked high. There are a few highlighters and pens on top of the papers, a pink one resting in the spine of an open book.

“Sorry about the mess,” Adrien says. He pulls out a carton of orange juice and a cup from the cabinet right next to the fridge. “I don’t have visitors… Well, I don’t have visitors, actually.”

“My apartment is a bigger mess,” Marinette promises. “I have fabric all over my bedroom. It’s kind of a disaster.”

Adrien gives her a curious look as he hands her the glass of orange juice. “Fabric?”

“Thanks.” Marinette takes the glass. “I’m a fashion designer and I might’ve drowned myself in fabric.”

She catches the beginnings of a smile as he turns around to start a pot of coffee. “I work from home, so I don’t really have much incentive to leave the apartment other than to buy food.”

She raises an eyebrow. “What about friends?” Whoops. Now he’s going to think she’s judging him. Good going.

Adrien shrugs and turns around once the coffee is started. “I have a cat,” he says, motioning to the couch.

Marinette takes a sip of her orange juice.

“Okay, so my social life is a little sad. Doesn’t change the fact that I have a cat.”

“Fair enough.” She glances to the papers on the table. “What do you do? You said you work from home?”

“I work for my father,” Adrien says. “I do a bit of everything, since he runs his own company, but most of it is financials and accounting. I have a brain for numbers.”

“Do you like it?” Marinette asks carefully.

Adrien shrugs. “I like it fine enough.”

“And it pays the bills,” she supposes.

He nods. “Yes, exactly.” He pulls one of the chairs out from the table and motions for her to sit down as well. “Okay, so you’re a fashion designer and hate coffee. Anything else I should know about you?”

Marinette smiles and takes a seat. “I’ve got plenty of coffee related stories. Including how my two best friends met.”

Adrien raises his eyebrows. “Really?”

She puts down her glass. “Well, it was finals and Nino had a coffee and a Monster…”

[fandomhavenskittles]

Tag thing that I technically wasn’t tagged in but doing it anyway cause why not?

Okay, so I found this on @choisgirls blog, and at the end 4 said that anyone who wants to do it can do it, so I’m gonna do it. I’m honestly just trying to not pass out at 5:40 pm. Thanks, Benadryl, for making me inhumanly tired, I appreciate it.

Rules: answer 30 questions then tag 20 people

1: Nicknames: Lil, Lils, Yoda, Lily Potter, and one of my cousins asked if he could call me Lillian once, but he never did, so that doesn’t really count, but whatever, I’m gonna include it anyway. (NOTE: MY NAME IS NOT LILLIAN. Just wanted to make that clear.)

2. Gender: Potato. Kidding, I’m a girl.

3. Star sign: Virgo, but I’m a cusp baby, so I’m a Virgo-Libra.

4. Height: 5′1″ I’m tiny;;;

5: Time: 5:52 (wow, I’ve been typing this for 12 minutes already. I started at 5:40. Jeez)

6: Birthday: September 20th! Imma be 14 soon WOO!

7: Favorite bands: BTS, and probably a few others but my brain is fried and I can only think of BTS cause I have a poster of them in my room, sooo…yeah

8: Favorite solo artiste: I like Melanie Martinez a lot, I also like Christina Aguilera. Idk, as I said, my brain’s fried and I can’t think of anything.

9. Song stuck in my head: i’m not sure who it’s by, but it’s called “Bait” I have no clue who it’s by, though.

10. Last movie watched: Harry potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban 

11. Last show watched: I re-watched half of the first episode of Brothers Conflict the other day. I’ve only watched like 3 or 4 episodes of it.

12.When did I create my blog: May of this year

13: What do I post: Mysme, I used to post Harry Potter stuff, random things I guess idk. 

14. Last thing I googled: Libra traits. I knew I was a cusp baby, but I didn’t know what Zodiac came after Virgo, and when I found out it was Libra I googled that to see if I have some Libra traits. Now my excuse to never saying ‘ no’ is “it’s the Libra in me”

15. Do you have other blogs: I do! I have a blog that I think I’m turning into my personal blog. I just made it not knowing what to do with it, and since I post a lot of random stories and personalish stuff I guess it’s my personal blog. idk.

16. Do you get asks: Yup!

17. Why did you choose url: ok, that is a long and kinda weird story, so I’m just going to say the short and somewhat normal version of that story; it was a username that I had in my mind for forever, so when I made my blog I was like “you know what? I’m gonna bring this username to life instead of thinking of another one for 5 hours”

18. Following: I’m following 46 blogs!

19. Followers: 279 which SHOCKS ME SO MUCH. LIKE, I WAS SURPRISED WHEN I HAD 20 FOLLOWERS, LET ALONE 279. 

20. Favorite colors: Rainbow, black and gray. I like all the colors! Except for white, I don’t trust anything that’s white. Me + white = a disaster waiting to happen.

21. Average hours of sleep:……I have no clue. Like, 8 maybe?? Probably a little less than that?? I have no idea.

22. Lucky number: 666- HAHAHA! SATANIST JOKES. HE AIN’T REAL, KIDS, DON’T TRY TO FIGHT ME ON THIS, I’LL CREAM YA I don’t have a lucky number. I don’t really believe in lucky numbers tbh

23. Instruments: I don’t play any, my brother has all the musical talent in my family. I’m the artist and the only one who’s actually able to draw.

24. What am I wearing: APH Prussia shirt and gym shorts despite the fact that I’m the least athletic person in the world. They’re comfy, that’s the only reason why I wear them.

25. How many blankets do I sleep with: honestly, about 50. I have a sheet, and then the comforter and then two fuzzy blankets. I need to have least one extra blanket when I’m sleeping, it’s strange. Like, I need an extra blanket and I need my room to be freezing cold at night, I have no clue why, it’s just how I sleep for some reason.

26. Dream job: I have no clue. I have a while, I don’t really like to think about it.

27. Dream trip: I want to go LITERALLY EVERYWHERE. But I’m really excited cause I might be going upstate for my birthday this year and I CAN’T WAIT. 

28. Favorite food: Literally everything. I just like food. Except for tomatoes, those are evil.

29. Nationality: I’m from the U. S OF A!

30. Favorite song:…..I CAN’T CHOOSE BETWEEN MY BABIES.

This is the part where I’m supposed to tag people, but I’m tired, my brain’s not working and I can barley think of 5 people let alone 20, so whoever wants to do it can do it. 

Oh hey, this took me 2 hours to do. I blame it on my cousin. IF HE WASN’T GOING AWAY TO COLLAGE TOMORROW HE WOULDN’T OF HAD TO COME OVER TO SAY GOODBYE AND I WOULD’VE BEEN DONE WITH THIS AN HOUR AGO. I’M OKAY, I SWEAR…..I LIED, I NEED A HUG. ONLY TWO OF MY COUSINS WENT AWAY TO COLLAGE INCLUDING HIM AND THE OTHER ONE THAT WENT AWAY JUST MOVED TO THE CITY AND MY COUSINS ARE LIKE MY SIBLINGS AND I’M FEELING ALL OF THE EMOTIONS I DON’T LIKE IT. I’LL STOP RAMBLING NOW, I’M SORRY. On a happier note, I had cake today, and  cake is always good. Let’s hope that I don’t eat all of it in a day. I probably will, who am I kidding?

[chickenfetus]

softly whispers all for the flower ask

baby’s breath: 5 things you associate yourself with

chickens/eggs

lance lol

cereal….. everyone in class is stealing my trademark…

water

memes

bleeding heart: what makes you heart go mushy?

fuck,,, my fav characters?? and if i like someone then them i guess? but rn my heart belongs to 2d

bell flower: what’s the title of the song that makes you want to jump around out of joy?

mm it changes?? right now its either this cover (its in japanese) or this song (english but its a tad bit scream-y)

evening primrose: what’s your sleeping playlist (give me 5 songs)?

its all soundtracks from anime lmao,, 

from kimi no na wa���s soundtrack we have this, this and this 

from free!’s ost we have this song that killed every mh shipper lol 

and lastly, not from an anime ost, its shelter 

none of these actually help me fall asleep but i like them,, hell i dont think theres any song that can help me fall asleep

forget-me-not: who is your favorite blog who isn’t following you?

miyu//keis does this ensure it doesnt show up i hope it does i recently followed them while lurking in the mi//sawa tag lol theyre a good graphic person??? idk what theyre called;;

daffodil: what is one plant that you want to have but can never get?

the succulent things but i wouldnt be able to care for it bc i succ (perfect match)

calla lily: are you more of a sunny day or a rainy evening?

im a sunny day and rainy evening person… ok maybe sunny day if im not directly under the sun because i do enjoy the sun’s warmth rainy days are nice too,, only if im indoors.. rainy evening is perfect,, as long as no bugs can get it im safe and secure and chill

foxglove: what is your favorite color and in what shade?

blue!!!!! is sky blue a shade

lavender: what is something that you’ve always wanted to be/have/get but can never have?

a cat…..

love in a mist: what is the latest dream that you remember?

ok ive had dreams every night this week but now i cant re oh wait i do remember last night’s dream but only the lame part,, ok so i dreamt i had a 4* hina on bang dream..,,, i dreamt of another thing but i forgot :-( the 4* was indeed a dream though sad i havent gotten a single 4* yet lmao my luck is awesome oh but i did get a 5* and two 4*s on enstars so thats cool

daisy: what is your favorite flavor of cotton candy, ice cream, and juice?

cotton candy,, has flavours????? 

cookies and cream!!

i like water juice

painter’s palette: are you more of a singer, dancer, painter, or instrumentalist?

none??? i guess i paint when i have to although i rly wanna paint but im just a lazy fool

tulip: what is your most favorite make-up product? do you like it more natural, dark, or etc?

i dont use make up i am a youngin also what does the second question say i dont understand

waxflower: are you a bee or a butterfly person? a dog or a cat person?

neither lmao i have a fear of butterflies and bees… bees fear me i fear bees its mutual fear i like cats better but i like dogs too

sugarbush: do you have sweet tooth? if yes, what’s your favorite sweets? if no, why?

yes,,, i was gonna ask if it was even possible to have a favourite but then i remembered i do actually one although its more of a jellybean thing its poifull!!

sunflower: would you like to be a fairy or a mermaid?

mermaid bc i wanna live in the water

sweet pea: what would you like to call your significant other?

ok i just finished acca so naturally i still think abt it and jean called nino his ‘partner in crime’ so nnow i want one (a partner in crime i mean not a nino but thatd b cool 2)

sea lavender: can you swim? which strokes can you do?

yes i havent been in a pool in like 3 years oh boy,, breaststroke is the easiest lmao i forgot how to do any of the others

windflower: list 5 of your favorite blogs and explain why you like them

softshouyous, well i followed her bc she talks in her tags so thats one thing,, shes also super nice?? and helpful!!! a good friend and mutual!!!! im also comfy enough with her to like,, be sarcastic and we can shame each other freely.. without worrying abt offending one another,, theres also the fact that she understands me (ok this may b what i like 2 think and falen actually doesnt get me but its COOL) idk man i just love her,,, my bud whens our one year friendsivary i gotta search that up :0

(i almsot forgot to do the rest go me anyway) next is,, youhavebeentraceyd bc shes one of my first mutuals (sorry to the one who was actually my first) who i actually talked to!!! we both watch daiya and i didnt rly follow anyone who liked daiya previously and oh!! we had the same notps LOL i love tracey’s art and hell i think she dragged me to mochi hell kudos to u tracey idk i jsut enjoy her presence on my dash and get v excited to see her art on there we may not talk as much anymore but i still appreciate her a lot!!! bless u tracey and thank you!!! (for being alive i wish u all the best in life)

alpacarara i like her bc shes basically my tumble mum,, the mum i actually talk to and ask for help/advice she gives good advice too and shes v approachable,,,,,,, a v good friend,,,,,, u r appreciated by me,,,, yes........... shizu chan also appreciates ur existence momther,,,, thakn u 4 all youve done 2 helpme a good pal.... bless u,

clearly these r  getting hard bc my mind is goddamn empty rn but ill manage,, kacchan whose url is not spelt like that but thats ook bc one day it will be but now im starting to think i shouldnt leave it as that bc someones bound to stumble upon this extra post in the kacchan tag goddammit,, annYWay i like kacchan bc theyre friendly! and also v relatable,,,, theyre also kinda scary but thats ok bc its the good kind of scary idk man kacchan is just, great?? we dont talk but thats cool bc ik we’re still friends even if we dont have full blown convos!!!! id b 2 nervous 2 talk 2 them not bc theyre bad or anythign im just a ??? a bad conversationalist and also v lazy ok  thats besides the point i like kacchan bc kacchan is kacchan so??? theyre a good friend and we tag each other in things and i like that friendship its a good type of friendship,,, idkdkdk?? theyre just. chill not literally chill but just chill. this doesnt make sense anymre gomenasorry

lAST ONE uh hhhh every one of my mutual’s blogs why i like all of them?? bc theyre not problematic!! they post good content trademark and r lovely even if we dont talk much!!! i love everyone period

golden rod: are you more of a baker or a cook?

i am more of a Disaster in the kithcen

bloom: what is something that you would like to tell your children?

u guys shld b surprised yall even exist (if i am the True Parent)

if not,, then itd b u guys r with me and my partner in crime,, who is actually a real person,,,,,, be shocked idk im just trying t o make it clear that in the event i do get married id surprise myself bc me/?? have a good and lasting relationship????? impsossible 

peony: what is something that you wish your parents could’ve told you?

they shouldve told me to stick with cereal

prairie gentian: do you have a significant other?

doe s lance count

september flower: are you more of a sunshine or sunset person?

was this supposed 2 say sunrise,,,, anyway sunrise i guess bc im a morning person (when i WILLINGLy wake up by myself) on hot ass days sunset bc then i wont b sweating 24/7

bird of paradise: do you wake up early? do you sleep early?

yEAH LOL i wake up early on weekends bc i want to and i have to wake up early on weekdays so,,, i prefer not to sleep later than 12am bc i am Fear and in the event that i do sleep later than 12 its bc im talkin 2 a friend i like a lot

marigold: what’s your favorite tea?

water tea english breakfast,, havent had that in awhile tho

peruvian lily: what are the names of your pets?

i have non

hyacinth: do you name your plants?

i have nnone but i dont even nickname my pkmn so 

lilac: would you rather sleep and be cozy or hang out with your friends?

depends? on the tme??? if its late at night id rather b asleep and cozy if its in the day then maybe.. .. .

poppy: do you like to dip your fries or do you like it as is?

i like all of my food plain and dry (cereal) unless its noodles,, i need my noodles iin soup

dandelion: any special talent that you have?

drinking water

[megsiplier]

92 truths about me

yoooo so i was tagged by the lovely @deadpoolinne​ to do this 92 truths tag! i’m always a slut for oversharing so this looks like a good time

LAST: [1] drink: water [2] phone call: probably one of my parents? idk i never call people [3] text message: a group chat of a couple friends; we’re meeting up later [4] song you listened to: reflections by misterwives [5] time you cried: those recent medical disaster(s). hoo boy [6] dated someone twice: nope [7] been cheated on: im boring answering these types i apologize in advance [8] kissed someone and regretted it: nope [9] lost someone special: there’s a whole list, lmao [10] been depressed: relatively recently. i’d say less than a week 11] gotten drunk and thrown up: nope! i can hold my liquor lmao LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS: [12] pale pink [13] periwinkle blue [14] black IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU… [15] made new friends: yes!!!! [16] fallen out of love: never have been soooo [17] laughed until you cried: all the time. did so last night [18] found out someone was talking about you: mhm [19] met someone who changed you: i’d say so, yeah [20] found out who your true friends are: oh boy yeah [21] kissed someone on your facebook list: i hate fb. also no [22] how many of your fb friends do you know in real life: don’t have one [23] do you have any pets: no :’( getting one when i move out tho!! [24] do you want to change your name: nahhh [25] what did you do for your last birthday: my 18th was shitty man. nothing [26] what time did you wake up: around 8ish i think? [27] what were you doing at midnight last night: ft’ing @lum1natrix​ [28] name something you cannot wait for: i can’t tell u yet ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) [29] when was the last time you saw your mother: last night [30] what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: nothing [31] what are you listening to right now: the sound of the clock in the kitchen [32] have you ever talked to a person named tom: ...yes? why the hell [33] something that is getting on your nerves: this is long enough already [34] most visited website: youtube and tumblr! [35] elementary: the category title is “in the last year have you.” what [36] high school: yeah?? graduated last year [37] college: currently in college now [38] hair color: it’s like?? dirty blonde rn but im dyeing it blonder soon  [39] long or short hair: v long [40] do you have a crush on someone: nope [41] what do you like about yourself?: ??? [42] piercings: had my ears pierced but they closed. getting a nose ring soon [43] blood type: ????? no idea [44] nickname: meg, megs [45] relationship status: single [46] zodiac sign: leo [47] pronouns: she/her [48] fav tv show: criminal minds! (and stranger things) [49] tattoos: none rn! i definitely want a couple tho [50] right or left handed: right

FIRST… [51] surgery: my feet were kinda fucked up as a kid [52] piercing: ears [53] best friend: soph [54] sport: i swam competitively for a decade! [55] vacation: hmm, probably like florida or smt [56] pair of trainers: how the hell would i know

RIGHT NOW… [57] eating: nothing [58] drinking: nothing [59] I’m about to: make breakfast [60] listening to: nothing. just the clock. and there’s a mourning dove outside [61] waiting for: for my friends to fuckin respond so we can confirm plans lmao [62] want: food [63] get married: right now?? no [64] career: forensic psychologist/behavioral analyst for the fbi!

WHICH IS BETTER… [65] hugs or kisses: hugs bc i’ve never been kissed [66] lips or eyes: lips??? is that a thing. are lips attractive to some people. eyes [67] shorter or taller: taller. not that hard tho, i’m only 5′1″ [68] older or younger: typically older  [69] romantic or spontaneous: can u not be both. isn’t spontaneity romantic [70] nice arms or nice stomach: i mean im a both kinda girl but arms [71] sensitive or loud: how about neither [72] hook up or relationship: i’ll take both, honestly [73] troublemaker or hesitant: absolutely troublemaker. 1000% 

HAVE YOU EVER… [74] kissed a stranger? nope (again, sorry, i’m v boring) [75] drank hard liquor? mhm! [76] lost glasses/contact lenses? i’ve lost contacts before [77] turned someone down: oh yeah. all the time [78] sex on first date? i’ve never but like, depending on the person im down [79] broken someone’s heart? probably [80] had your own heart broken? nahhh [81] been arrested? nope! [82] cried when someone died? i mean yeah [83] fallen for a friend: nope!

DO YOU BELIEVE IN… [84] yourself? hardly, i should tho lmao [85] miracles? i mean? i don’t believe in them but im not ruling them out either [86] love at first sight? absolutely not [87] santa claus? never really did tbh, even as a kid [88] kiss on the first date? sure why not [89] angels? Like winged angels? ofc. have u ever seen chica. cmon man

OTHER… [90] current best friend’s name: i have a handful of em. closest to traci & soph [91] eye colour: super dark brown [92] favourite movie: the man from u.n.c.l.e!

i tag: @lum1natrix​ | @septiceyespeed​ | @panromark​ | @mikeybuckybarnes​ | @martziplier98​ | @serenefreakgeek​ | @dreamsoffallingstars​ | + anyone else!

[petestarebanks]

this turned into a lot of talking i’m drunk sorry

since i love talking about myself and i’m working on finishing all the random cider/alcoholic drinks in my fridge i appeciate @chitown-sounder for tagging me in this

1) How tall are you? I’m 5′7″ and I don’t have anything else to say about that. 

2) What Color And Style Is Your Hair? My hair is medium brown which is v boring I want to dye it like daaaaaaark brown in an attempt to match my fingernails and my wardrobe which are both slowly entering the shadow realm until I can finally take my rightful place as an all powerful witch of darkness where I belong. Lately I’ve been working on growing my hair back out, right now it’s just below the middle of my back bc a year and a half ago I decided I wanted to go back to the bob I had in senior year of high school. Generally speaking my hair is an awful mess.

3) What Color Are Your Eyes? Depending on the day/weather/my mood/the color of my shirt it varies between blues and greens and greys. I wish I was constantly crying so they could be green always. 

4) Do You Wear Glasses? Yeah and tbh people always ask me why I don’t wear contacts and like why the fuck would I? When I got glasses in the 10th grade (After 3 years of staring at a computer screen bc I got obsessed with writing and never wanted to leave the house I developed near-sightedness like a fuckin dope) I was hype af they somehow made my face look less round imo like honestly my glasses make me look older and less pudgy and I fuck with that shit. I, like my dawg Cody, also am getting new glasses in like a week or so (They’ll be in on the 11th and I’m reeeeady) and I got 2 pairs, one of which is the same rectangle shape I’ve always had and the other one is more fahionable and maybe I’ll like them??? I better bc they were expensive but they were literally buy one get one free so....... Idk they’re more round shaped I can’t wait to put new accessories on my face

5) Do You Have Braces? I never did and it’s funny I always had a fucked up dental situation ok my front 4 teeth on the top were shaped like |_|_/\_||_| it wasn’t a gap or anything my teeth were just angled like that??? Apparently there was a bone in my gum where it shouldn’t have been and it was keeping my teeth from growing right and so when I was like 8 they did a removal of all 4 teeth like - ya girl was in the third grade missing my 4 front teeth??????????? Embarrassing anyway they took out the teeth and when I went back a few months later to get the bone out there was literally no bone there? There was no explanation for it it just wasn’t there and my teeth grew back in perfect. My teeth aren’t perfect by any means like I have a severe overbite and my lower row has a small gap in the front and also I had a fuckin tooth that grew in the middle of the roof of my fucking mouth????????????????????????? Teeth are so weird anyway that tooth got taken out and I’m just here living with a semi-ok mouf now

6) What Is Your Fashion Sense? Whatever I feel like wearing when I get out of bed 15 mins before I’m supposed to be at work lmao whatever takes the least effort and still looks put together enough. There’s a lot of black and particularly black leggings bc they almost pass for dress pants which works for my job. Also a lot of camisoles paired with shawl/overshirt things idk what they’re called. And jean shorts whenever I’m not at work.

7) Do You Have Any Siblings? I have 4 step sibs and 3 sisters - my sister Candace is 28 and got married last year, we always argue about politics (we are on the same side but she is a realist and I’m a romantic) but we love each other even though she makes me cry from emotions and frustration. My step brother John is 27 and he’s always been a fuckin dickhead even when we were kids and they were just my neighbors and not my step sibs - yes my father is dating a woman who used to live across the street from us in the neighborhood I grew up in - He is v strong and has strong opinions, has a lot of tattoos and is a misogynist. My sister Jackie is 26 and is a human fucking landfill who I haven’t spoken directly to in 4 months bc she got mad at me when I showed concern about her boyfriend being abusive, then he did beat her ass and when I tried to talk to her about it she fuckin blocked me on Facebook. Oh yeah and she’s pregnant with his kid and won’t stop smoking cigars. Fucking landfill. My step sis Amanda is 23, always a good time even if she’s a super thot, she has 2 babies who I love more than anything and she lets men make a fool out of her more often than not. I love her. My step brother Chris is my fave step sib mainly bc he went from being an actual juvenile delinquent, arrested and then on parole at age 15 even, to being the first of his family to graduate high school on the same day as me, with a steady job and a wife and a baby and paying his own bills I’M SO PROUD OF HIM. My step sister Tory is 19 and she doesn’t have a real name she’s just Tory, is a bigger fuckin thot than Amanda literally this bitch is in the DM’s of every dude I know and I’m not shaming her like boo do whatever u wanna do but be better at it? Be a boss ass bitch and don’t let ppl make fun of u for being a human disaster?  My younger half-sister Dalaney (Literally, named after Dale Earnhardt thanks to my trash father lmao) is 11 and she lives with her mother in Minnesota. She comes to see us every summer and she is so fucking funny, she is a tomboy and she is a sassmaster just like the rest of us I love her sfm. 

8) What Kind Of Student Are You? I was an honors sudent, took AP classes and barely skirted by (But passed the final exams while my geek fuckin classmates sobbed bc they failed lmao) I graduated with a 4.89 so like, I was litty. I never studied bc why would i read the same thing twice? I also missed a day a week from 6th grade to graduation, bc I was “sick” but really I didn’t feel like going. My mom thought I was lactose intolerant bc I faked sick so much. One time Amanda and I let my mom drive us to school only to walk home (3 miles) and get stopped by a police officer 20 feet from my front door, he wanted to know why we weren’t at school and we lied and said we missed the bus but our moms were fine with us not going to school that day. That fuckin cop offered us a ride to school so we had no choice but to go to school after all that!!!! Then in senior year when my mom left me to live with Jackie I was literally missing 2-3 weeks at a time until the AP was like “If u miss 40 days of school this semester you will be considered a drop out” and I was like “Fuck” so I finished and graduated and never went to college because fuck the education system tbq fuckin h. 

9) What Are Your Favorite Subjects? Math, History, English, Human Geography. I loved learning, that was why I never wanted to be at school, everything was fucking boring but when I had the right teachers, in these subjects in particular, I actually wanted to be there. 

10) What Are Your Favorite TV Shows? I never watched TV until like the last year, I finally got a Netflix subscription and caught up on shit people have been raving about for years but I was completely late on - Shameless, Orange Is The New Black, American Horror Story, Bates Motel, How To Get Away With Murder, in particular. Otherwise I just watch sports. Literally the only reason I pay for cable is so I can watch sports. 

11) Favorite Books? BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITCH Scott WESTERFELD ANRD NEAL SHUSTERMAN. LIKE OK I’LL BE A HARRY POTTER STAN ALL MY LIFE. BUT. SCOTT WESTERFELD WROTE AN INGENIOUS SERIES ABOUT SOCIETAL STANDARDS OF BEAUTY (uglies/pretties/specials/extras) AND ALSO HIS VAMPIRE SERIES WHERE VAMPIRISM WAS TRANSMitted through sex and cats (peeps, the last days) WERE THE ONLY VAMPIRE BOOKS I EVER READ LMAOOOO. then, fucking neal. fucking neal shusterman changed my entire life for the better with a series about a future where the pro-life/prochoice battle turned into parents literally having the option of just, not dealing with their unruly teens anymore by having their body parts fucking dispersed to ppl who needed like new hearts, arms, etc (unwind/unwholly/unsouled/undivided) FUCKING ICONIC and also THE SERIES NEAL WROTE ABOUT KIDS WHO DIED AND WERE STUCK IN LIMBO BC THIS EVIL BITCH WOULDN’T LET THEM GO TO HEAVEN (everlost/everwild/everfound) GOD I LOVE BOOKS SO FUCKING MUCH OK. ALSO FOR MY NON-RELIGIOUS ASS EAST OF EDEN BY JOHN STEINBECK IS FUCKIN EVERYTHING. LIFE OF PI ALSO FUCK AND TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD BOOKS ARE GREAT.

12) Favorite Pastimes? If I’m not Netflix binging or watching sports or going to the movies with my friends or drinking with the one friend I have who I can drink with, I’m writing. I have literally 25 characters now I’m fucking trash but I love them all so much ok leave me alone. 

13) Any Regrets? Nah I think I’m the smartest most reasonable person on the planet so I think everything I do is right and not questionable at all lmao. 

14) What Is Your Dream Job? Huh. Hard to say. I’m doing something I love now, and my boss has been in the business for 20 years and his business pulls in 5 mil a year so like.......... I could stand to keep doing this for a long time. Honestly I’ve never had a direction in life so now that I found an occupation that I love I think this might be my dream job. 

15) Do You Want To Get Married? No lmao marriage is a patriarchal social construct and what’s the point? To legally be able to call someone mine? I don’t like people enough to want to spend my entire life with one. 

16) Do You Want To Have Kids? I never in my life want to give birth to a child. That shit is not for me. I have 5 nieces and nephews, a pregnant sister, and another sister who plans on having at least 2 someday. I don’t need no babies. I’ll be the cool vodka aunt who encourages my trash siblings’ kids to follow their hearts and encourages them to be gay if they’re feeling gay. I have always liked the idea of waiting until I’m like 40-45 and rich, and adopting a 10-12 y/o kid bc those kids never get adopted and I’ll just be the best parent to them. 

17) How Many Countries Have You Visited? I’ve never left the United States lmao. Fuck me right???????????????/

I have finished 3 bottles of beer/beer-like substance while writing this and the Rangers just fuckin lost go figure. I want @gingeronastick and @chrisarchers to do this and also whoever else feels like it ok ily babes