#yeah the way grief is shown in this is soooo

[rius-cave]

How do you think Adam and Lucifer started sleeping around?

You mean in like, a canon compliant universe? I'll assume you did mean it that way lol

Honestly?? There are infinite possibilities, the beauty of it is that depending on what kind of story you want to tell, there are a lot of ways for them to start a relationship and they can all be in character!

That being said, I do have some "basic beats" I usually like to see, they've become kind of cliche for me almost. Not in a bad way, but just like they're starting to become tropes for this ship that I really love seeing even if it's the same, you know what I mean?

So my "classic" flavor of adamsapple is this: Adam falls, and after much denial and failed bargaining, he finally makes a deal with Lucifer to protect his soul. I mentioned in some of my first asks that I think Adam would go through something similar to the five stages of grief after realizing he's a sinner now. Anyway, his and Lucifer's relationship is sour, obviously, Adam hates the situation he's in and actively makes everything harder for everyone, including himself. Lucifer is the one tasked to deal with him on a regular basis, and he's not as kind as his daughter lol so there are a lot of "lessons" and "punishments" and the like. Thanks to that, and because they're in hell, obviously a lot of jokes are made about them having a master/pet thing, about completing the set, etc etc. Lucifer finds this amusing even if he's never really been interested in Adam in that way, but it seems to piss him off, so he plays along and even teases him every once in a while as well.

It makes Adam furious and that's what makes Lucifer keep making jokes and teasing him, etc etc. Until eventually, Lucifer keeps escalating the jabs, and not even he realizes when it went from "I'm doing it to make him angry" to "you know? Given the chance? Sure I'd tap that". At one point the idea was seeded in his head so much, that subconsciously he started... NOT being opposed to the idea. There was the aspect of putting Adam in his place and taming the brat, which was particularly appealing to Lucifer whether he realized it or not.

Meanwhile Adam absolutely despises the teasing, and everything involving Lucifer in general, but it can't be denied the sheer amount of sexual tension between them (by that point other Hazbin members will have noticed lol especially Angel), and some of the things start getting to him, until he absolutely can't deny that he's THOUGHT about it.

All this tension and pining and will they won't they goes on for a while. It takes some time, but not really that long until something happens that makes the sexual tension finally snap. There's probably some coercion from Lucifer's part, and Adam acts like he doesn't want it and hates it but he also..... Doesn't make any REAL attempt to stop him, you know? Lol Lucifer was definitely pushing him but if Adam had really shown he didn't want it, he would've stopped. Obviously, that didn't happen, and they end up having sex that Adam obviously freaks out about right after it. To Lucifer it's not really that big of a deal (he doesn't hate Adam as much as Adam hates him) but Adam is absolutely freaking out. He yells and says it can't ever happen again and there's tension for a bit before... Well, it happens again lol, and despite Adam swearing it's the last time,,, they keep doing it over and over and yada yada.

Soooo yeah. A bit long lmao. Honestly the details and stuff can change, hop around and/or expand here and there, this is just like the basic storyline and dynamic I tend to imagine when I think "regular adamsapple"

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 252: Suplex of Feels

Previously on BnHA: Deku, Kacchan, and Shouto visited Todobrook Heights one time, just the one!!, so of course it just so happened to also be the one time that Natsuo got straight up kidnapped by a villain for no reason because THAT’S JUST HOW LIFE GOES. Thankfully for Natsuo, the Terror Trio had kind of a Cinderella thing going on where if they didn’t beat a villain before Endeavor by midnight, their character development would turn back into a pumpkin, and I’m not really sure I stuck the landing on that metaphor but anyway! So Shouto used Flashfire to roast the villain alive, Deku used Blackwhip to save some hapless civilians who got caught in the crossfire of everything, and Kacchan used his cool fast explosions which don’t have a new name yet because he’s focused on more important things to rocket over and save Natsuo from becoming roadkill. And then Endeavor gave him and Natsuo a BIG OL’ HUG and my heart went, oh.

Today on BnHA: Horikoshi grabs a handful of raw, squishy feels out of a bucket and just full on slaps me across the face with them. Endeavor has a moment of agonizing, excruciating vulnerability and apologizes to Natsuo for everything -- like, everything -- and says Natsuo doesn’t have to forgive him, and that in fact he doesn’t want him to forgive him, and that he just wants to atone for everything he’s done. And just, I can’t even describe the scene, but it’s just perfect down to the last detail, and exactly what I wanted. And meanwhile Deku, Shouto, and Kacchan stand there watching, and then Kacchan has a fucking epiphany and FINALLY DECIDES ON A HERO NAME!!, and I completely lose my goddamn mind, only to then be brought down to the lowest of lows when he immediately says that he’s not going to reveal it yet because THERE’S SOMEONE ELSE HE HAS TO TELL FIRST. So once I’m done sighing, we cut to later and Endeavor is all “Fuyumi I’m gonna buy a house for you guys so you can all live a happy life with your mom and never see me again,” and yeah. You guys I am in shambles.

hey everyone, whoever is doing Mangastream’s thumbnails every week deserves a raise though

especially since they’re not actually getting paid for it at all lol. their resolve to find the most ridiculous Kacchan expression every week and slap it on their home page is 100% a labor of love. AND IT SHOWS

lol and here I was half-worried the chapter would pick up after all the dust had settled, and we’d miss out on this glorious scene of Kacchan acting like he’s the goddamn wicked witch of the west and the sprinklers just turned on. anyways, I know what I’m thankful for this holiday

HAHAHAHAHA

I’D LIKE TO TAKE A MINUTE AND THANK ALL OF OUR SPONSORS AND OUR GREAT CREW WHO MADE THIS ALL POSSIBLE. SHOUT OUT TO ENDING, YOU’RE THE REAL MVP. BIG “HEY WHAT’S UP” TO TOUYA, WHO STRAIGHT UP DIED JUST SO ENDEAVOR COULD HAVE ANGST AT A CRITICAL MOMENT AND FORCE KACCHAN TO BE THE ONE TO SAVE NATSUO INSTEAD. AND A HUGE FUCKING “YOU THE MAN, BRO” TO THAT MORON SPEEDING BLINDLY IN THE TAXI CAB WHILE ON HIS PHONE AND NOT PAYING THE SLIGHTEST BIT OF ATTENTION TO THE ROAD IN FRONT OF HIM! WITHOUT YOUR RECKLESS DISREGARD FOR YOUR OWN SAFETY AND THAT OF OTHERS, THIS NEVER COULD HAVE HAPPENED. OH GOD, THEY’RE PLAYING THE MUSIC NOW, I GOTTA HURRY UP... AH... I’M SO GRATEFUL TO ALL MIGHT, GIVER OF SO MANY LEGENDARY HERO HUGS, AND TO SLIDIN’ GO, YES REALLY SLIDIN’ GO, WHO ESTABLISHED THIS GAG BACK IN CHAPTER 219. YOU BOTH WALKED SO ENDEAVOR COULD RUN. AND LAST BUT CERTAINLY NOT LEAST, TO HORIKOSHI KOUHEI, WHO IS ABSOLUTELY FUCKING DETERMINED TO HAVE EVERY PRO HERO IN THE COUNTRY HUG KACCHAN BEFORE THE SERIES IS OVER. YOUR TIRELESS EFFORTS ARE THE REASON I GET OUT OF BED EVERY MORNING. GOD BLESS YOU ALL AND GOOD NIGHT

anyway

sorry Kacchan this is just your life now. you’re just stuck here. by the way, Endeavor really is just an absolute MOUNTAIN of a man, though?? like, a whole, absolute unit. like remember a few chapters ago when I was joking about how he was eight feet tall? well Natsuo is 5’11” according to the wiki, and you can tell by looking at him that he is a solidly built guy. like, he eats his fucking Wheaties. and Endeavor is still able to FULLY WRAP HIS ARMS AROUND both him and Katsuki together WITH ROOM TO SPARE and just. ?????? WHAT EVEN IS THIS MAN good grief

anyway poor Natsu looks close to passing out though so maybe you fucking should let them go Endeav

SDLFKJSDLFKH

1) seriously though look at how big his hands are jesus christ is he even a human!?!?

and 2)!! the amount of sheer detail which was put into this panel, with the facial expressions and the shading and all, only for Katsuki to open his big fucking mouth with ABSOLUTELY NO REGARD! like, this could have been one of the most heartrending panels in the entire series. but instead it’s forever immortalized with Bakugou fucking Katsuki and his brutal fucking speech bubble interjecting with the most vicious insult his angry toddler brain could think of. this panel has the same energy as Deku receiving a heartfelt thank you letter from a child whose life he saved only to unfold it and read that iconic opening line, “SORRY FOR PUNCHING YOU IN THE BALLS LOL”

oh my

boy took matters into his own hands. after Enji just STRAIGHT UP IGNORED HIS PLEAS lmao. this entire chapter is a gift, and we’re only on the second page. also that katakana there is all “SUPON”, which I don’t know what that means, but I have to tell you that to me this felt more like a “ZWOOP.” but that’s just how I personally read it

eyyyyy and there’s our half-naked lukewarm boi

and look, I’m not advocating for Shouto to actually be walking around half naked, because this is a children’s manga and Shouto is just a baby, and that kind of thing is obviously inappropriate unless you’re [checks notes] one of his female classmates, who just like Shouto are also only teenagers, but it’s okay for them because they have boobs. hey wait

but anyway, I will say that I appreciate that his uniform really did burn off just as you would expect, and that he used his ice quirk to preserve his modesty lol. quick thinking on his part

meanwhile all the people Deku rescued are stumbling out of their cars nauseously and thanking him. I like how all of the other traffic on this highway has apparently just come to a halt now. I wonder if the Endeavormobile also came equipped with some traffic cones and road flares that launched out of the trunk along with the costumes

oh hey a BakuDeku interaction, don’t mind me, I’m just... [folds hands on desk and leans forward]

someone please tell me what he actually called Deku here because I’m dying to know. anyways whatever it was, “dumb-ku” is a great translation. it’s just the right amount of stupid and immature, and I love how Deku just fucking answers to it anyway like shrug, whatever

also love how the first thing Katsuki asks is whether anyone is hurt. swear to god this kid makes me love him more with each passing week

fond sigh

okay guys, I’m getting more and more excited here now, and let me explain why. it’s because Katsuki, despite having achieved (as Deku points out) a complete and perfect victory here, is very obviously agitated and angry still. and I think the reason for that is because even though he’s achieved the goal Endeavor set out for them, he still hasn’t achieved what he wanted from this internship. the other two have! Deku accomplished his goal of gaining more control over Blackwhip, and Shouto is now well on his way to mastering Flashfire. but Katsuki specifically came here with the intent of discovering something intangible that he couldn’t put a name to. and even though he’s gotten stronger just like the others, he still hasn’t achieved what he set out to do yet, and I think he’s getting frustrated by it. and the reason I’m so excited is because I think we’re inching closer and closer to seeing that finally get resolved. ahhhhhhh

(ETA: THIS CHAPTER IS THE MONKEY’S PAW WISH OF CHAPTERS.)

anyway I’ll shut up now and read. here’s Katsuki bragging to Endeavor, and Endeavor doing his best All Might impression what the fuck

that line could have come straight out of All Might’s mouth and it would have sounded 100% natural. well everyone, we did it. we fucking broke Endeavor. I hope you’re happy. lol what the fuck is happening what is this

DFKLSLDGHK

I fucking see those wobbly speech bubbles Endeavor, are you crying, because -- !! holy shit this chapter is taking my emotions all over the place

lol Kacchan’s pissed off that Endeavor isn’t more pissed off about being shown up by some punk kids

Deku’s eyes. this chapter. I just

ohhhhhhhhhhhh shit here we go

for everyone out there who was worried that Natsu would just forgive Endeavor outright after the events of this chapter, I think we’ve arrived at the part where your fears are assuaged. I pretty much expected this was how it would go down, because for all the criticism he’s been getting week after week, Horikoshi has been writing the Todorokis realistically and consistently throughout this entire arc, and this was the natural conclusion based on what we’ve seen up till now. Natsuo won’t just forgive Endeavor just like that, because why would he? and Endeavor just has to deal with it. and it’s all very sad and painfully real

SON OF A BITCH

the fucking words “I’m sorry” really just came out of his mouth at last, holy shit. this is the first time, right? as far as I can recall, anyway. oh shit

oh shit

my fucking jaw. just dropped. just. fuck me, I wasn’t ready for this. sure Enji, just go ahead and pour your heart out. lord

imagine if his voice actor goes all out in this scene like Katsuki’s did in episode 61. holy shit, I never thought the thing that destroyed me would be a sad confession in a fucking shounen manga by the character I used to despise. life is funny

ohhhhhhhhhh

[awkward glance around the fandom] soooo. how’s everybody doing? aheh. [coughs]

oh shiiiiiiIIIIItttt

oh look at that, Endeavor didn’t actually murder his child, who could have predicted that. but maybe I’ll just shut up now though since I’m not here to start any shit

and the pain train to feels junction just keeps on chugging. fuck

YOU SEE!! BRUTAL!! RUTHLESS!! SO REALISTIC IT HURTS. Endeavor is genuinely sorry, but it’s all coming way too late to be of any use! and Natsuo is so pained because he honestly probably would like nothing more than to be able to forgive his dad, and for them to all just be a happy, normal, loving family again, but he can’t. because they’re not. and apologies can’t erase the past, or make up for it. there is no way to change what happened. Touya’s still dead, and the scars from all those years of neglect and abuse are still fucking there, and they’re not just going to go away, even if Enji is remorseful. Enji becoming a good man now doesn’t make up for all the years that he wasn’t! he can’t just undo it! and that’s the tragedy of it!! you feel so bad for the man -- or at least, I do -- but at the same time, part of the atonement process is to accept the consequences of everything he did!

and also, for everyone saying he hasn’t faced any actual consequences yet -- one person in particular sent me a very detailed and thoughtful ask, which I apologize for not responding to yet -- I say this with all due respect: there. look. there are your consequences, right there. everything he will never have. everything he can’t salvage. the pain of knowing he was the cause of all this. the pain of seeing the misery in his son’s eyes and knowing he can’t fix it, and knowing the hurt he’s caused to the ones he loved most. that is karma. that’s a fucking punishment. that’s an agony beyond any physical torture that anyone could ever possibly dream up. his punishment is that after all these years, he finally gets to feel all of the suffering he’s inflicted on them, and he’d do anything to take it back now, but he can’t. that’s it! and we all fucking hate it, and no one is happy! and it’s not fucking fair! haha! but that’s how it fucking is, though. and I swear to god, I keep saying it, but it’s some of the most brutally realistic shit I’ve ever seen in a fucking manga. fuck

anyways, I need to stop monologuing or else I’m never going to finish this fucking chapter, but rest assured my soul is being ripped the fuck apart. hmm

:’)

(ETA: note the conspicuous lack of a Kacchan reaction panel directly after the “I’m never gonna forgive you” panel. everyone else gets one. but not him. in fact, there are no more reaction panels of him until this speech ends, and then we get one zoomed far away where we can’t really see his face. but I’m sure that’s all just a coincidence and means absolutely nothing! oh baby. what a chapter.)

:’)))))))

by the way, quick shoutout to that person in the taxi giving them the Rock Lee Eyes and having just no idea what the fuck is going on sob. thanks to you for keeping me from breaking into full on sobs here. I’m holding it together for you, random deer-in-headlights citizen

[INHALES!!!]

that’s it. I don’t. fuck. anyways. I ranted about all my feelings already, so just. ... you all get it by this point, right?

oh Kacchan. penny for your thoughts. I’m almost done with that essay I keep rewriting. you have a lot to think about right now huh

and Shouto. oh Shouto. safe to say this is a side of his father he’s never seen nor imagined he would see before

YOU GUYS THIS IS SO FUCKING IMPORTANT THOUGH, SHIT

[GRABS THIS PANEL AND FRANTICALLY WAVES IT ALL OVER THE BNHA TAG] I’M!!! JUST!!! SAYING!!! THOUGH!!!!!!!

oh, we’re still going? SURE WHY THE FUCK NOT

WHATEVER HORIKOSHI!!! JUST KEEP COMING AT ME, THEN!! GO AHEAD AND FINISH ME OFF WITH A FUCKING SUPLEX OF FEELS!! YOU SON OF A BITCH

and now Ending’s freaking the fuck out and screaming for Endeavor to stop. lol it’s like the villain version of Can’t Ya See-Kun. Endeavor you jackhole, this isn’t on brand! CUT IT OUT

forget it, Jake. it’s Character Development

now the police are arriving and Deku’s like THANK GOODNESS because the awkwardness was about to go critical here. meanwhile, pay no attention to how Katsuki is staring at him despite having no real reason to be in this panel!

[sidles up next to Kacchan] so hey fella. did any of that hit a nerve, perchance. did it open any metaphorical eyes. dust off any momentous revelations that you’ve been valiantly trying to keep shelved in your mental basement. have the SEEDS of your PERSONAL GROWTH been CULTIVATED. are the JEHOVAH’S WITNESSES of NOT BEING A DICK knocking at your inner door!?

anyway so now we’re cutting to Endeavor talking with the authorities while Chauffeur Armstrong tells him he needs to watch his back

friendly reminder that a bearded hermit flew around town on a glass hoverchair singing a song about Endeavor bringing darkness to the world or some shit not too long ago. that’s still a thing! better watch it Enji

HOLY FUCKARONI

(ETA: shoutout to that “neither does the light” line because that’s some straight up Harry Potter quotable bullshit and I love it and Endeavor’s character development continues to slay me that is all.)

FUCKING!!! CHRIST!!! OH GOD!!! OH JESUS!!!!

HMGGHHHHAAAA SOMEONE HELP ME OH MY GOD I’M SHAKING, AHHHHHHH

(ETA: listen you guys, in all of my “!!!!” I didn’t stop to appreciate all of the other things about this scene. but Shouto has changed into his hero costume which is a great little detail that I love because he obviously didn’t feel like standing around freezing his butt off and being oggled by the crowd. and then we have Natsu coming over to thank them all for saving his life, which is great, and he’s such a sweetheart. and then Deku actually saying “Bakugou” for probably the first and only time in his life lmao. and then, finally, his fucking face when he realizes Kacchan has finally chosen a hero name. he’s fucking ecstatic. he can’t wait!! anyway so Deku is me.)

NO BUT I’M FULLY SERIOUS YOU GUYS, I’M TREMBLING LIKE A FUCKING LEAF, IT’S PROBABLY THE CAFFEINE IN ME BUT STILL, OH MY GOD, I’M PARALYZED, I CAN’T SCROLL DOWN, MY HEART IS POUNDING, MY LIFE IS ABOUT TO BE FOREVER CHANGED, OH FUCKSTICKS, OH SHIT

NOOOOOOOOOOO

FUCK MY FUCKING -- WHERE IS HAWKS!!?!? WHERE IS HE!?!? I SWEAR TO GOD IF THAT FUCKING MAGPIE DOESN’T SWOOP DOWN RIGHT THE FUCK NOW WITH JEANIST IN TOW ALL “HAHA IT WAS ALL A MISUNDERSTANDING” I’M GOING TO --

(ETA: but lmao at the fact that Shouto was all “okay, so you’re not going to tell him, but what about me, your Best Friend?” like he really heard “DROP DEAD ASSHOLE” and thought “well, that was Midoriya though, LET ME TAKE A STAB AT IT.” this is the most earnest child in the universe and this OT3 continues to bring me boundless joy.)

FUCK

LISTEN YOU KNOW I LOVE THAT TODODRAMA, BUT YOU CAN’T JUST DO THAT TO ME!! I’M A HUMAN BEING!! IF YOU CUT ME I BLEED!! WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS. I’M GOING TO STRAIGHT UP CRY ALL OVER AGAIN YOU HEARTLESS PIECE OF SHIT

looool

“and his friends.” you hear that, Kacchan. now COME BACK OUT HERE AND TELL US YOUR HERO NAME RIGHT NOW YOUNG MAN!!!

Endeavor you better save this chapter. I’m counting on you dog

oh. oh shit

hahaha. well fuck

first of all, look at Mr. “la dee dah I’m just going to build my family a new house on a whim because I’m so fucking rich” over here, like, damn, Endeavor. and second of all my heart is just a bludgeoned hemorrhaging mass of feels at this point and I’m not even going to try to salvage it. and third of all, this is exactly the type of resolution I wanted, pain and all, and I’m so goddamn satisfied with it it’s almost ridiculous. because the man fucking gets it. for everyone who continues to doubt Endeavor’s intentions, look no fucking further than this. this isn’t a narcissist trying to gaslight his victims and get back in his family’s good graces and make it all about him yet again. this is a man who understands that the best thing for his family right now is for them to be allowed to piece their lives back together without him. and so he’s enabling them to do that, and voluntarily stepping out of the picture while still providing for them. and damn but I respect that so much. fuck yeah, Enji. this was the right thing to do. it doesn’t make up for all the mistakes you’ve made, because nothing can do that. but you’re a better man now, and this right here is exactly the type of thing people mean when they say actions speak louder than words. so, respect

and that’s it! we’ve officially experienced all of the human emotions in this chapter! oh and also that’s it, as in the chapter is done. so yeah. well that sure was a whirlwind now wasn’t it

[flying-elliska]

Portrait of a Lady on Fire !!!!!!!! A review pt 1/?

Honestly this is the kind of movie where watching any other movie after it for a while feels superfluous. It's like...an Experience and honestly it feels like it rearranged my way of Looking at Things. While watching it parts of it were just extremely known and relatable, a sort of ah yes I have been there. At the same time I had this very strange feeling of "I didn't know it could be like this for real" and "oh wow so it can be like this !!!!!". So hmmm I really loved it.

It's funny because my fave movies are usually not this slow or quiet. There is a lot of empty space in this movie and it's slow to start but once you're inside it's such an incredible breath of fresh air. This fits the story as in the beginning the situation is uncomfortable and the heroines are evaluating each other, but as they create this bubble for themselves, you get drawn into this feeling of warmth, intimacy and liberation.

For a movie between two women it is remarkably unsentimental and that's very enjoyable, if a bit disorienting. The women move in stark, empty spaces, and they are not trying to fill it with pleasantries. Heloise is too angry and she is a little wild, no doubt both having to get used to the world outside the convent and brutalized by grief. Marianne is unsure of how to deal with her and made uneasy by the secret she has ro carry. The movie is honest about basic facts of life in those times without dramatizing : abortions, forced marriages, true love not getting its way. It has an almost stoic core. It's very interesting. The facts of the story are heartbreaking but it never wallows in that sadness. Instead, it gives space to the things that truly matter, that it turns its artist gaze on ; the bond between these women and alm that flows from that, in precisely choreographed brushstrokes of glances and breaths. It feels like an extremely disciplined way of telling story. The vibe is sparse and airy, the dialogue minimalistic, its use of timing impeccable. Each frame looks like a painting and yet is brimming with tension ; I feel like a lot of that has to do with how characters - Heloise especially - are often filmed in movement, half disappearing, turning around. It's slow but never boring. That strict frame gives an incredible space for deep, real feelings to develop, the kind that take you by surprise and turn you upside down like a thunderclap.

It's been called a Female Gaze manifesto by the realisator so it's not surprising that I am in love with its gender optics, as much for what it does as what it doesn't. The intimate scenes for example manage to be remarkably erotic while completely eschewing male gaze typical objectification most often used in wlw s*x scenes. There are no lingering shots of naked bodies. The only glimpse of genitals is in a totally non sexual context. At the same time it's remarkably frank about what is happening, via the use of a metaphor-shot that made me giggle with glee. The focus remains on the tension and later complicity between the characters. They look so into each other in a way that feels almost intrusive to watch, soooo rarely shown by actresses playing wlw on screen. Also, kudos to the period appropriate body hair. It's so well done.

The absence of men from most of the movie is just great. Too many wlw movies still center the question "but what will men think ?" and even though that question can be relevant in real life we also deserve stories where it doesn't matter one bit. And the solidarity between women just has something magical about it and also incredibly true to life. I don't like clichés but I grew up mostly surrounded by women and there was this naturalness of helping each other out and forming family around that, even if temporary. It's not rah-rah girl power, it's a very grounded mutual aid guys don't help out or aren't worth shit so we have to rely on each other sort of thing. The subplot centered around helping Sophie, the maid, get an abortion, was just so well done because it breaks down the boundaries of class between all of them. They act like caring big sisters towards Sophie, they play card games and read books together...It's also a great way to bring the two lovers to be together.

And from there there is a centering of female creativity that happens that is incredible. The painting of course, but escaping the bonds of assigned purpose when Heloise starts participating in the elaboration of the painting. Heloise directing Marianne to paint a recreation of the abortion scene, a part of women's lives mostly untold. Marianne playing piano for Heloise, bringing new life and passion into her isolated life. The village women singing in this eerie, powerful way all together around the fire. Them reading and discussing classical stories. One very interesting piece of symbolism is the piece of embroidery abandoned by Heloise's sister, before her death, and then Sophie starting to embroider again, a bouquet of flowers we see decaying slowly. It's that female soldarity and liberation of creativity that allows the love story to blossom, or more exactly it happens at the same time as if creating a world in which queer love can exist or vice versa, queer attraction powering the development of such a world. You can so obviously see that women being together is good for them, on any level.

This also ties back into the stoïcism of the story. Because their love story doesn't have a happy ending, but the movie expressedly tells us that that's not what matters. Of course, it's heartbreaking. But it wants us to pay attention to the joy of creativity, not the sadness. That's the point of the Orphée myth retelling and making the "poet's choice". They won't see each other again but what they experienced together has changed them fundamentally and will power their creativity for the rest of their lives. We can see it as Marianne teaching younger girls to paint by being the model herself, or painting the myth. Heloise commissioning that painting with the book, inserting a reference to their love in her very wifely painting. And her enjoying the music Marianne first played for her fully and live and having so much joy in her life through art. It's so refreshing to have a movie going beyond "period homophobia was tragic ://" because despite often awful circumstances queer love has often brought such bright joy, creativity and perspective to the lives of the people experiencing it. Even if they weren't allowed a "happy ending", there is so much more to love than that. And it feels so liberating this idea that those bright moments are worth living for themselves beyond where they will lead. It's a difficult but fundamental perspective on life, I think.

Anyway I have lots more to say but let's not write a book just yet. All in all this is definitely one of my favorite love stories of all times and I am hard to please so like...yeah.

[scribbling-salmon]

I'm writing a story about a loving, devoted father who deeply loves his children and is even a little overprotective. However, he's gotten busy and has lost sight of what's truly important. So, his teenage son winds up in the hospital in a coma dying. Now, the son's going to end up all right (don't worry). But, what's an appropriate way for this father to be? Should I make him stay strong until his son wakes up, only to finally break down in tears of relief? Or should he get teary every no

(2/2) now and then? I don't want to make him constantly crying. But I want these hospital scenes/moments to be impactful and emotional without being too sentimental. Any advice you could give me would be deeply appreciated. And I'd be very grateful. THANK YOU soooo much!! 

Hi! Sorry for the late reply, I’ve been galavanting around Ireland for the past couple weeks. SO. DAD GRIEF. Interesting. I totally get your struggle - being emotional without being dramatic is a hard line to walk. 

First of all, try not to focus too much on tears. They’re often the go-to way of showing grief, but they’re by no means the best or the only. Men, especially men like the one you’ve described, won’t go straight to blubbing when stuff happens and if they do cry, it’s stunted and quickly scrubbed away (this isn’t universal obviously but we can discuss male societal conditioning at a later date). 

But, just because men cry less doesn’t mean they don’t feel things as strongly. I think a powerful way to show the grief could be by increments - stoic silence as he processes what’s going on, then a staunch attempt to ignore it. Maybe he talks to his son like normal, tells him what’s going on with the family, e.g...

“Do you remember in ‘08 when we saw Everton at Goodison Park? Cassie didn’t wanna go but by the end, hell, she was yelling for the blues and you both got flags afterwards, y’know, for your rooms? It’s been years since I got us season tickets. Maybe next year, yeah? Next year, we’ll go.” 

Genuine, snotty crying grief would probably only be shown when he’s alone and not so self-conscious - there’s a brilliant scene in Breaking Bad when the cheerful, solid police officer cracks a joke in the station, laughs with his mates, then gets into a lift and bursts into tears. When the elevator doors open again, he’s back to smiling. I think it’s all about these cracks in the surface, the little windows through which you can see the inner turmoil. A dad would still have to care for his other kids, make dinner etc., all the while trying not to look at the empty space at the table. 

I hope this helps a little bit! Thanks for the ask and do let me know how the story’s coming along! 

[powerfulweak]

Something I thought about today...

A Pride and Prejudice AU where Darcy married Caroline instead of Lizzie. Like, everything in the books happened and Darcy saved Lydia's virtue and Wickham is exposed as a cad. Darcy admitted the truth of his actions to Bingley and he and Jane reconnect. Darcy and Lizzie settle on friendly terms, but they never reconcile their feelings and he marries Caroline because, well, it makes sense.

Lizzie meanwhile is courted by Col. Fitzwilliam. She ends up marrying him and becoming part of Darcy's family anyway. A few years pass as normal. Jane and Bingley marry, everyone is happy, but then Waterloo happens and Fitzwilliam is killed in battle. Lizzie is left widowed with their unborn child. Not long after, maybe a month, Caroline dies in childbirth along with her and Darcy’s baby

Darcy is devastated, but more for the loss of his friend (because Caroline was his friend) than the loss of his wife

Bingley and Jane are genuinely shattered over the loss of a sister, and Jane, now pregnant with their third child, finds herself having fainting episodes (or some other suitable Regency-era ailment) from the stress. Lizzie, although pregnant herself and still in mourning, rushes to her sister's side to be with her.

They are all at Pemberly, dealing with their grief and Lizzie becomes everyone's rock, as she always has been. Her presence draws Darcy out of his isolation, which he finds himself falling into again, and her demeanor calms a harried Bingley, who is concerned that all of this will affect Jane and her pregnancy.

Lizzie is in a lot of pain, and while everyone realizes that she herself is in mourning (hello, black clothes), she is reassuring them she wants to take care of them… Until she goes into labour and the baby is breech

Lizzie loses her composure. She’s sobbing and begging everyone in the room to save her baby, she can't lose him too. Jane is on bedrest, Bingley is a mess. Darcy steps up and stays at her side. It's not the norm, at all. Men don't stay around during childbirth but Darcy is as fierce as a wolf, literally growling at anyone who looks at him side-eyed. (Col. Fitzwilliam doesn't have a first name in the books, so I'm taking Liberties)

Thomas Gregory Fitzwilliam II is born on a rainy night, healthy and crying. Darcy face is full of relief and joy until he looks back at Elizabeth to see her pale and her eyes rolling back in her head. She is losing a lot of blood and this time the servants actually do push Darcy out in spite of his shouts of "I am the Lord of this house!!!"

Darcy slumps on a bench in the hallway, completely numb. He has flashbacks of Caroline's death, but somehow this is worse... so much worse. He loved Caroline, they were so close, but… His feelings for her paled in comparison to what he feels, has always felt, for Lizzie... er, Mrs. Fitzwilliam.

He falls asleep waiting for new and is woken the next morning by Bingley shaking his shoulder. He lets him know that the bleeding has stopped, but Mrs. Fitzwilliam is sleeping

Darcy asks after the baby and Bingley leads him to the nursery where Little Thomas is swaddled in the nurse's arms.

The sight of the child triggers something in Darcy, something he can't explain tells him that this is his son. Not directly by blood of course, but he makes a promise that he will be there for this child as his father would've been. He will teach and rear the boy and make him into a proper gentleman. Fitzwilliam would've done the same for Darcy if the situations were reversed

When Lizzie wakes, Darcy is at her side, his eyes swollen and red from crying. She starts to  panic that she lost the baby but Darcy quickly reassures her that he's fine and healthy. As soon as Lizzie sees her son for the first time, she starts to cry happy tears and says "He looks just like his father". Darcy's stomach drops because, oh yeah, this is his cousin’s widow (twice removed?) and she is in mourning... And so is he. So we get Lizzie and Darcy pining and bonding and taking care of Little Thomas.

Lizzie stays at Pemberly until Jane gives birth to her daughter (named Caroline, in memorial) and soon after Georgiana Darcy's engagement is announced and she stays on for the wedding. All of this time is intercut with long looks and pining and Darcy and Lizzie dancing around each other and feeling of impropriety, because now instead of their pride getting in the way, it's their concern over ruining themselves

Eventually, though, Lizzie must return to her own home. Luckily, It's not far from Pemberly. Darcy makes assurances that he will visit often... For Thomas' sake of course.

Lizzie’s mourning period ends shortly after her return home. Generally, Regency mourning periods were about one year, but Lizzie extended it because she didn't feel ready. Word soon spreads about this and now Lizzie is seen as a very eligible lady.

Fitzwilliam wasn't nearly as wealthy as Darcy, but he was the son of an Earl, and Lizzie was bequeathed quite a lot of money. Darcy can already detect the eager suitors sniffing around and he takes it on himself, under the pretense of "As Fitzwilliam's Cousin and Friend", to make sure no one takes advantage of Mrs. Fitzwilliam or the estate. Lizzie meanwhile is trying to not let her feelings be shown. Darcy is being kind for the sake of Fitzwilliam's memory and Little Thomas. That's all, just kindness

Then one day, there's a ball and a man by the of Mr. Thomas Bertram arrives (see what I did there?). Mr. Bertram had a roguish youth, but a serious health scare several years ago in addition to the death of his father put him on the straight and narrow as he took on the role of Baronet of Mansfield Park. He has been a bachelor for years, but, as the saying goes, he is in the possession of a great fortune, so he is now in want of a wife.

When Mrs. Elizabeth Fitzwilliam crosses his path, and Mr. Bertram is smitten. Lizzie herself is charmed by Bertram. He acknowledges his past and has a self deprecating sense of humor about himself; in truth, he reminds her much of Col. Fitzwilliam. It's not long before society is a twitter over the two of them. They seem so well-matched and everyone agrees that Little Thomas needs a father. An engagement is expected soon.

Darcy sees red. He can't believe this upstart (who is older than himself) has the nerve to approach a widow in mourning (she's not) and propose (he hasn't yet). He spends several nights ranting and raving to Bingley and Georgiana's husband David on the matter, bellowing and shouting enough to alert the whole house. And Bingley, bless his dumb ginger soul, says "If I didn't know better, Darcy, I'd say you were in love with Mrs. Fitzwilliam yourself.”

Darcy is left stunned, because words were finally put to his feelings. He's been in love with Lizzie... Mrs. Fitzwilliam for years now. He considers Little Thomas as close as his own son. He can't lose them.

Meanwhile, Mr. Bertram and Lizzie are talking. The conversation meanders, but when the topic of marriage is brought up, Lizzie can only admit that while she enjoys Mr. Bertram’s companionship a great deal, she loves another. Mr. Bertram gives her a soft smile and admits that companionship and friendship are all he wants in a marriage. His feelings about love and romance and ... intimacy don't align with what you generally find in books. He doesn't provide further information, but Lizzie fills in the blanks. She understands that their union would be one solely of companionable love, much like what her sister and Collins have (In this version, Collins marries Mary instead of Charlotte, for… reasons)

Lizzie says she'll consider it and give him an answer in a fortnight and Mr. Bertram agrees and departs.

Later that night, Darcy arrives in a huff at her home, banging on the door. The servants don't know what to make of the haggered-looking Lord of Pemberly, no jacket or waistcoat, shirt undone and fire in his eyes.

"I must speak to the lady of the house!" he demands. Lizzie rushes downstairs to see a dishevelled looking Darcy standing in her foyer. His speech mirrors pretty closely a combination of Darcy's first and second proposal, saying he can’t keep his feelings to himself and he must admit how deeply and ardently he loves her. He can't let another man swoop in and announce his intentions before he has a chance to share his own. He proclaims he knows he may never have a chance to be with her and Mr. Bertram may have already proposed but... he loves her, truly.

"Mrs. Fitzwilliam... L-Lizzie..."

Lizzie is speechless, breathless, and basically rushes into his arms. They hold each other tightly and Lizzie talks about how she's loved him for years, since a dance at ball in Netherfield. They stay there for a long while, holding each other, finally feeling the warmth of one another’s embrace. 

(and Mr. Bertram is soooo understanding of everything. He get's it. "You should speak to my sister in law." he jokes)

[caithyra]

Rewriting Tauriel... And other Elves

Soooo... Tauriel was a good idea: Increase the number of female characters, and perhaps add a bit of story since we’re making three films from a book and extra material that only warrant two films at the most.

Then it went... yeah. It went wrong (or at least clumsily executed). When it could have gone right so easily that it’s frustrating.

Now, I’m not claiming that my way is right, but eh, it’s my attempt at an idea that doesn’t make Thranduil racist against his people and give Tauriel a greater grounding in the Legendarium (while discarding parts of the love triangle, Kili can still crush on her and say cringe-y stuff, but it’s funnier if Tauriel has no interest whatsoever in him IMO).

Okay, so the Silm is off-limits but clearly allusions to it aren’t (Hallo thar glittering gems of light in a dispute between Dwarves and a Sindarin king). So yeah, here we have a red-haired elf living among Nandorin-descended elves while being disliked by their Sindarin king (who loves Silvan elves and their culture, like his father, to the point of assimilation) when his son started to pay a bit more attention to her than is proper of platonic friends.

I repeat: A red-haired elf among Silvan elves disliked by a Sindarin king when she might end up marrying into the family.

Once upon a time, the Nandor weren’t ruled by Sindarin kings or Noldorin ladies. They had their own king, Lenwë (or Dan, as he was known to them), who had a son, Denethor (who is probably the namesake of Steward Denethor I of Gondor, and subsequently Denethor II, father of Boromir and Faramir, because Elven Denethor was an up-standing and loyal person, which a steward would need to be).

Anyway, the Nandor (valley elves) were named such because they refused to go to the West because they wouldn’t cross mountains. But in the First Age (LotR and Hobbit takes place in the Third Age), Denethor took a bunch of Nandor over the mountains to settle in the lands of Ossiriand, the Easternmost part of the Westernmost land (Beleriand) of Middle-earth.

So, the Nandor, who were the precursors to the Silvan Elves, are in Ossiriand.

Then a bunch of mass-murdering Elves came from the West and integrated themselves in the greatest Elven realm on Middle-earth, Doriath (which was ruled from a cave palace in a forest, sounds familiar?), the Sindarin kingdom of King Thingol (remember? Also there are theories that Thranduil might have been a kinsman of Thingol, since they are both Sindarin nobility). Of course, they kept mum on the whole mass-murdering Thingol’s brother’s kingdom on their way until Thingol found out on his own, so yeah.

Anyway, they were lead by Fëanor and his sons (and the mass-murder was to get one of Fëanor’s shiny jewels back). And while much have been written (the Silmarillion, for example), of him and most his sons. His youngest sons, a pair of twins, was very little written of.

We do know, however, that while in Middle-earth, the Ambarussa (High Elven for “redhead” which was a name they shared) twins lived in East Beleriand.

Yeah. They were neighbours with Ossiriand and the Nandorin elves.

And then the sons of Fëanor committed mass-murder a few more times, including completely destroying Doriath, for a couple of shiny jewels (though the death of Thingol was at Dwarven hands <-Reason why Thranduil and Celeborn [Thingol’s great-nephew] hold grudges towards dwarves and probably why Gimli was to be blind-folded in Lothlórien).

And Thranduil’s family subsumed themselves in the culture of the Silvan Elves, finding it more “natural” than the ways of the Western Elves.

So...

What if Tauriel was descended from an Ambarussa twin (alluded to, at least) and a Nandorin lady? What if instead of “lowly Silvan elf” it is “you are allowed to dwell among us for your late mother’s sake, but I will not tolerate the daughter of my family’s mass-murderers to marry into my family (playing up on the Thranduil being Thingol’s kinsman fan-theories and separating it a bit from the Silm)!”.

What if Tauriel beseeches Thranduil to aid the dwarves in taking back Erebor, and alludes to them being generous in gratitude? And Thranduil alludes to thinking that she believes the Arkenstone being a Silmaril (which he explicitly says is not what she thinks it is), and how Thingol died for it and how his kingdom was destroyed, while refusing because he does not want the same fate for his own people and kingdom.

What if Thranduil saves the White Council at Dol Guldur (it is, after all, the former capital of his kingdom)? And we learn of some tension (also, he doesn’t need magical rings, thankyouverymuch, it’s not like it helped Isildur y’know, also Galadriel is a creepy af colonialist who may one day betray them if she gets her hands on a greater power *winkwink* because she is related to the same family as Tauriel), and he and Gandalf argues about the dwarves, and Elrond steps in defense of his mother-in-law (Galadriel, for those who didn’t know), and tells Thranduil that he will destroy everything he loves if he keeps holding onto past pains like this (and Thranduil allows this only because it is hinted that Elrond helped him with his grief over his wife, which is non-canon, but eh, Elrond is a famous healer and Thranduil can’t die while his people needs him, and we need to keep this from being too accurate to the Silm because no film rights, so yeah). Also, while Thranduil is away, the Dwarves having their daring barrel escape.

What if Thranduil, as much as it pains him, Exiles Tauriel and Legolas when they leave? Alluding to the Exile of the Noldor, in order to protect his kingdom against jewel-lust (btw, it is more clear that this whole backstory is why he locked up the dwarves, and he and Thorin had their own allusions about that, a bit clearer than earlier shown).

What if Tauriel was never in love with anyone? What if her whole story is to prove that a child cannot pay for the sins of her father? That she has good intentions and acts on them? What if she nearly dies proving it? But in return she convinces Thranduil that some battles are worth fighting? What if Thranduil and Legolas have a chat about how Thranduil nearly died from grief (as elves do) when Legolas’ mother died (thus alluding to the problem with Aragorn/Arwen)? And how he cannot ask his people to go through that when it wont tangibly benefit them.

What if Tauriel was shown as a liked and respected captain among the Silvans? And that a soldier overhears Thranduil saying that to Legolas, and that soldier in turn is shown going to speak with other soldiers? What if Thranduil is convinced of Tauriel’s convictions, but still wont ask his soldiers to sacrifice, and then Tauriel’s friends step in and volunteers?

What if Tauriel dies instead of nearly dying? (Yes, killing one of the few female characters is iffy, but at least she would die for her convictions and to save the world instead of for romance, heck, have her do something ridiculously heroic while at it) And instead of sending Legolas to Aragorn, Thranduil sends Legolas to Elrond Half-elven to learn of mortality and grief? In a desperate attempt to save Legolas’ life as Legolas is in pain and almost starts fading? What if Thranduil’s soldiers (who will have had scenes showing that they like and respect their captain, dammit!) overhears the “this is why I don’t want to go to war, it is not just one soldier that dies when one dies on the battlefield”-talk, and then go “with all due respect, lord and sire, but Tauriel was fucking right and even if you are our king, that question should be answered by your individual subjects and not by you, if we didn’t think it worth the fight, we wouldn’t have taken up arms to begin with”, and then Thranduil meets Bilbo who will fight even when scared and likely to die, who hands him the Arkenstone in the hopes of saving the dwarves, and Thranduil is completely convinced.

Gandalf doesn’t notice at first, however (still being stuck with the argument at Dol Guldur, that’s what you get for disappearing to secret council meetings all the time!), and they have a bit of a spat in miscommunication, but beside that, the elves eventually ends up having a Big Damn Heroes Entrance moment in the Battle of the Five Armies.

If Tauriel survives, she gently explains to Legolas that she does not feel the same but that she will always loyally serve his family. This causes Legolas to be uncomfortable and want to leave, and Thranduil wishes him well and advises him to learn the ways of mortals, for the Ages of Elves are ending and if they are to survive in the Age of Men, the future King of Mirkwood needs to know them. Legolas decides to learn from Elrond Half-elven and the Dúnedain and leaves (and thus wont see his father’s new friendship with the dwarves, setting up his rivalry with Gimli as they both act as their fathers used to do before they shook hands).

The denouement of this side-plot would be Thranduil striking up a sort of friendship with Dáin and Balin (and Balin mentioning that with Erebor freed, Moria would be next *winkwink* and asking if Thranduil will attempt to stop that from happening like with Erebor, and Thranduil instead sincerely wishing them luck, but warns, with scenes of Dol Guldur, still overrun by spiders, that the Shadow is moving again and it is not so easy to reclaim what was once lost. Also, Glóin should be especially prominent in this scene, possibly standing beside Gandalf and Bilbo, in an outfit reminiscent of the one he wore in Rivendell in LotR), as well as agreeing to a military alliance with Dale and Erebor.