#yes this is what started as something else but morphed into how heartbroken i was that five's life starts off so heartbreakingly..... then

[i-am-become-a-name]

December 5 (I'm still alive, promise, just swamped!) prompt - Recognition.

It was his skin, he was sure, had regenerated before, many times. But oh, it felt wrong, looking at once familiar things from a new height that now made them strange and unwelcoming. The shape of Adric’s shoulder under his hand, now too wide, and it surely couldn't only be that the boy was growing, they didn't change that quickly, did they? But perhaps they did, because Adric now shrugged away his touches, did not look at him for the same affirmations of pride as the Doctor remembered from his last regeneration. He wasn't sure if that hurt, or whether it was simply the disconnect between now and then, between who he definitely had been, and who he possibly could be now. 

He was thankful it was at least not the outright hostility he faced from Tegan, the unhappiness underlying every tense motion,  an anger that lay too close to the surface in any reasonable discussion he attempted to have with her. He could admit to himself, from a detached stance (ie, not in any proximity to Ms Jovanka) that he tended to feel the same angers, one of the very few noticeable emotions that seemed to stir in him these days. He knew feeling that anger toward her was not fair, that she had experienced more unhappiness in his presence than should have been experienced in such a short lifetime, but could not seem to help himself, and the sniping and abrasiveness let him feel more- well, personality than these scant days of existence had so far allowed him to. The Doctor (and he was the Doctor, wasn't he? the mirror didn’t answer him as certainly as it once did) wasn't sure he liked that aspect of himself. Days rather than hours now, and he still didn’t fit within his own skin, within his own TARDIS. His own name. So many seasons lived out, and he knew not what name to call himself. 

The hardest he had come to find was neither oldest nor youngest, neither the lack of familiarity nor someone he saw uncomfortable flashes of himself (who he once was? who he could become?) in, but the most calm and quiet of them all. They had all suffered losses, and he should ache for all of them, feel blood pumping through what could be his hearts but that still felt too cold for such grief, but Nyssa had seen it done in the name and face of her father. Had seen what he had once been then take the hand of her father’s body and work with him. She had too much dignity to scream at him as Tegan did, he surmised, a scientist’s too strong a grasp on necessity being the mother of invention to condemn who he had once been for such an action. But, though still unadept at reading his own emotions, he could see in her eyes sometimes a distant fear that never translated itself to her voice, the recoil from his hands that had touched what had once been her father's.

Strange, he thought absently. Disappointment, anger, fear he could recognise in other’s faces. But then, perhaps, he had not yet had a chance to see joy, pride and comfort in the faces of those that travelled with him. Seconds, hours, days that ticked away and all he could be sure of, all that retained of his identity from the nebulous line of past and present was that time ticked away in his brain, in his hearts, with the surety it always would. Perhaps time would become kinder to the four of them, this disparate little group all so far away from home. 

[lala3244]

Obsession Part 4 (end)

~Hi! I finally finished this story. This last part is a LOOOOOOTTT longer than the other ones. I just couldn't decide when to stop it so here you have it... I went a little crazy there but hopefully, it'll be to your taste. It actually turned out how I wanted even though I am sure I should have improved it more. I actually enjoyed writing the story as a whole. It got to live with me every day for a few weeks so I might do some ficlets about it. So good reading!~

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Actual warnings this time : Blood, injury, kind of suggestive, craziness, fluff and kissing.

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Part 3

I was sitting down near the lake for a few minutes when I heard footsteps. I looked at the person who was now walking towards me, a bit worried but I realised it was Jake. I smiled at him, relieved and he sat next to me. We stayed silent, enjoying each other’s presence. After a few minutes of contemplating the waters, he turned his head towards me and I could feel his eyes watching me. I started to blush under his scrutiny so I brought my hand to my face to try and hide my rosy cheeks. I heard him chuckle and he laid down. I glanced at him, he had a hand behind his head and he was staring at the sky. “I couldn’t find Amelia.”

I laid down too. “Does that worry you?”

He tilted his head so he could look at me. “Yes. I didn’t know she felt that way about me. I am worried she might go after you.” 

I shrugged. “Why would she? We are not together. Unless… She knows something else…”

He cleared his throat and went back to staring at the sky. I giggled and we fell silent again. His phone beeped and he looked at it. “It’s Amelia.”

I propped myself on my elbows and quirked an eyebrow. “What is she saying?” He glanced at me then back to his phone as he was unsure if he should tell me. As he took too long to answer, I got curious so I approached him and grabbed his hand that was holding the phone. What I read chilled me to my core. 

*Now that Angela is out of the way, we can finally be together! I know where you are. I am on my way and we can finally seal our relationship.* 

“Wow. That’s scary. She’s really into you and now she is even stalking you.” I was rereading the message while he still hadn’t moved or said anything. I swung my head to see what was happening to the man next to me and I realised how close we actually were. His face was inches from mine, our shoulders were almost touching and he was watching me with that unreadable look, a hint of darkness glinting through it. I let go of his hand but I didn’t move, I liked the closeness and he didn’t seem to mind. I looked away as I started to get shy under his gaze. I did not know what he was thinking and it was a bit intimidating to be looked at like that.

He was still studying my face when we heard a whisper. “Jake?” We both looked up and saw Amelia in front of us. She had walked up to us without us noticing. Sadness was etched on her face, you could see she was heartbroken. “Jake? So that is the person you said you were in love with.” She pointed her finger at me as if I was not actually there. 

He only nodded. The sadness morphed into fury when her eyes fell on me. She swallowed hard, still staring me down and if looks could kill, I would be dead by now. Jake got up and put himself between us as we both could sense she was about to jump me. He grabbed her elbow and walked her away from me. I could not hear what they were saying but she seemed agitated then she left Jake and walked past me. She turned her head and with a devilishly smile, she said. “It is not over.” I shuddered at the threat and even if I did not know her, I trusted her words. 

I looked at Jake who had joined me. “Should I worry?” He grimaced which was weird as he usually always wore more of a stoic face. “Yes.” I frowned. “Okay? That’s not comforting at all.” He sighed, his eyes staring at the lake but he still did not speak. I was slowly starting to get annoyed at him. “What’s wrong?” He finally looked at me. “I don’t know how we got there.” He rubbed his face with his hands, my annoyance faded away. I put a hand on his arm and squeezed gently. He looked at my hand for a while then smiled fondly at me. “This is not how I thought our first meeting would be like.” I rubbed circles with my thumb on his forearm. “No. Me neither.” He moved a bit and grabbed my hand with his. He intertwined our fingers together and put them on his lap. His thumb stroked the back of my hand in a soothing motion. I smiled at the gesture and squeezed his hand slightly. 

I watched the water, trying to think of something else to say. “What did you imagine?” He chuckled and touched my shoulder with his as if he were to tell me a secret. “Do you really want to know?” I leaned my head on his shoulder. “Of course, I want to know.” He wrapped his arm around my shoulder while still holding my hand.

“First, I would let you know that I made it alive.” I giggled and hummed for him to carry on. “Then I would find a way to get my freedom while still talking to you and when I were free, I would have come to see you.” I lifted my head with raised eyebrows. “You would have come to my house?” He stared in my eyes, anxious. “Would you have opened the door?” I grinned. “Maybe. I don’t know if I would have let a stranger enter my house, especially if I haven’t given him my address…” He laughed. 

I beamed at him, I liked hearing his laughter but a thought crossed my mind and I became serious. “Why didn’t you then?” He exhaled loudly and squeezed my shoulder. “I was scared and afraid that, even though you said you wanted to meet me, you wouldn’t want to meet me anymore. And the thought of meeting you was actually making me anxious, the reality of it, the fear of disappointing you, I don’t think I could have handled your rejection.” I pulled away from him and shook my head. “Do you think I am that shallow?” 

He pulled me back onto his chest and wrapped his arms around me. “No, not all. That had nothing to do with you. When it comes to computers and anything electronic, I know my way around it but when it comes to relationships, any kind of relationship, I freeze. It took me a while, too, to talk to Hannah and Lilly…” He stopped talking again. I could hear his heart pounding in his chest, I put a hand on top of it and the beatings got even faster. I closed my eyes, I was getting lulled by his slow breathing even if his heart wasn’t reflecting his outside demeanour. 

“You know… I was scared to meet you, too. It’s easy to talk and open up by messages but maybe you wouldn’t find me as interesting in real life or I just would be a disappointment or you just wouldn’t want to be in my life… Which you actually did.” I felt his breath being caught in his throat and his arms tightened around me. “You could never disappoint me and if you knew you would know I still want you in my life, always have.” I looked up at him. “What does that mean?” He chuckled and kissed the top of my head. “Nothing.” I frowned. “Right.” I let it go even if my imagination was going bonkers. He laughed and I could feel the vibrations through my body. A smile lifted my lips at the sound again. “You know you will tell me one day, I will make you.” That made his laughter louder and after a few seconds, he calmed down. “I am sure you will.” 

I smirked, proud of myself at his answer. I snuggled even closer to his chest. It felt normal to be in his arms. It felt like I was being home. He rubbed a hand up and down my back and I nuzzled my face into his shirt, I smelt his perfume. It was exactly the kind I adore and I could feel his muscly but still comfortable chest under my cheeks. We had fallen back into that comfortable silence we kept falling into. I closed my eyes, listening closely to his calm breathing and his now calm heartbeat.

He cleared his throat and I opened my eyes. “Would you be able to forgive me?” He shifted a bit but made no movement to pull away from me. “I mean, for not contacting you?” I giggled. “It’s already forgiven, I was just teasing you.” He sniggered and tightened his arms around me. Since I realised I had feelings for him, I had dreamed of this and I felt content even with the impending threat looming over me but my insecurities kept pulling me back. When will he have enough of me? I will bore him to death. I just could not understand how he, someone so intelligent, so handsome, so intense would be infatuated with me. A nobody, a bland person. Especially, after having met the two women who had been in his life before me. I was falling down that rabbit hole of self-deprecation hard and fast.

It kind of startled me because I haven’t done that in years so I peeled myself away from him and stood up to stretch my legs. I thought I heard him sigh in frustration but when I looked back at him, he was staring at me, his intense gaze back. “What are you thinking about?” I shook my head while stretching my back. “Nothing.” He stood up and stopped before me. He slowly brought a hand to my face and froze for a second. As I did not move away, he put it delicately on my cheek. My breath hitched in my throat at the tender gesture. I looked in his eyes and I saw him scanning my face in search of what was really happening. 

I avoided his eyes with mine, I did not want him to see the truth behind them but in the corner of my eyes I saw a flash of recognition crossing his handsome face. I closed my eyes and wondered how he could read me that easily. His other hand moved to my waist and the other tilted my head, he stared into my eyes and he gave me the most charming smile I had ever been given. “I don’t think you know how much of an impact you made in my life.” He stepped even closer, watching any reaction. 

He lowered his head and touched my forehead with his. “You don’t know how much you have been on my mind. Constantly.” He slowly stroked my cheeks slowly, I felt his warm breath on my skin and I realised I wanted more of that man. I put my hands on his forearms and slid them both up simultaneously. I smoothed over his taut muscles then I left them on his shoulders, stepping in closer. My voice lowered, betraying my thoughts slightly. “Constantly?” He chuckled darkly. “Every second of every day. When I wake up, when I eat, when I work, when I go to sleep and in my dreams.” I could feel my cheeks slowly heating up at the implication of his words as I could see a darkness in his eyes arriving when he pronounced the last ones. 

He leaned in and softly pressed his lips against mine. I felt like my heart exploded and I moved my hands from his shoulders to his neck then I tangled them in his hair. I deepened the kiss and he brought me flush against his chest, rubbing his hands up and down my sides. I had been kissed before but it had never felt like that and I always thought that was a myth when people said that noises faded away, the world faded away but at that moment I understood. I couldn’t hear the birds that were singing seconds earlier, the only noises I could hear were our breaths mixing together. 

We pulled away to catch our breath and smiled at each other. We stayed longer contemplating each other and what that kiss meant. I cleared my throat and looked away. He chuckled and wrapped an arm around my shoulders. “Shall we walk?” I nodded and grabbed my stuff from the floor. We started to walk towards the town’s centre. We made small talk, and we were finally getting to know each other. 

He accompanied me to Jessy’s flat. I stopped at the steps in front of the building and faced him. “That was nice.” He hummed, his eyes scanning my face and a small smile appeared on his. He leaned down and brushed his lips on mine. “It was.” He cupped my cheeks and pressed a chaste kiss on my open lips as I was about to talk but it cut me off. He pulled away with a smirk and straightened up. “Right. I hope you don’t have any plans tonight as I am taking you out.” Then he left without waiting for an answer. I was watching him walking when I heard a car arriving fast in the street, I saw Jake turning around, frowning.

It worried me so I turned too and I saw a van stopping in front of me. A guy wearing all black got out from the side door and grabbed me to then throw me into the van. He jumped behind me and closed the door. He pinned me onto the vehicle’s floor so I could not move anymore. The guy hit the ceiling of the van with his hand and I felt it start rapidly. The whole ordeal had lasted for only a few seconds, I did not have to react to anything that had happened and now I was face down on the floor. The weight of my kidnapper on me made it difficult to breathe. I could feel my heart pounding in my head and it made it difficult to think.

After what felt like hours, the van stopped and I heard the door open. The man got off of me and I took a deep breath. It was painful to breathe as he had stayed his knees on my back the whole trip. Just the movement of my chest was painful so I decided to not move more than I needed to. He was out of the vehicle and he grabbed my arm violently. He threw me on the floor, in front of someone. My head was at their feet and I looked up. I immediately recognised that face. Amelia. So it was not over, indeed. I froze and she smiled sweetly while leaning down. She cupped my face, her face inches from mine. “So we meet again.” My eyes widened. I knew she would try something but I did not think it would be that quickly after her threat and even Jake did not seem worried when he left me earlier. She laughed, her breath on my skin made me shudder. “How was kissing MY boyfriend?” 

She did not wait for my answer and pushed my head violently to the side. She spoke to her bodyguard who pulled me up and pushed me inside a building. It looked abandoned and far from any civilisation. My chest tightened at the realisation that no one would find me or if they did, it would be too late. We entered a huge hall with a chair in the middle of it. I was fighting the painful grip the man had on me but I stopped when I saw that chair. What a weird thing to have only in a building! 

I was sat on the chair with my hands tied behind my back watching the woman pacing in front of me. She was mumbling to herself, laughing like a maniac. I was looking at the scene and I only started to realise what was happening. What the?!! Had I just been kidnapped? On the street? In front of Jake? In broad daylight? What the?! I struggled against the rope holding me, panic coursing through me. “SHUT UP!” I jumped in my seat and I looked at her, bewildered. I saw her hand going backward and she pulled a knife out of her back pocket. 

She was now close to me but this time the tip of her knife was going up and down my face. Her eyes were wild, madness transpiring from them. I gulped hard. She looked unpredictable and quite frightening. I glanced towards the guard who was now standing by the door, not quite facing us. He looked afraid and disgusted by what was happening. “I told you it wasn’t over.” She pressed the knife into my skin and I felt a sting as the tip pierced my skin. She dragged it along my cheeks, smiling happily as my blood started to swell on the wound and then ran thickly along it. I winced and groaned at the pain. She took the knife off, jumped and clapped her hands like a little girl. Her voice became high pitched and she twirled around me “I know you think Jake loves you but he doesn’t. No, no, no, my sweet, naive little girl. He is manipulative and calculated. He plays a silly, little game with me, I know it. He wants me! But really, he doesn’t need to play to have me! He already had me the moment we got together.” Her eyes became vacant when she recalled her memories. “His skin on my skin, the noises our bodies made together…” 

I tuned her out, I really did not want to listen to her and I tried to find a way to escape. I tried to get the guard’s attention but he was not looking at us. I groaned in frustration and it seemed like it brought her back to reality. “But the next day, he left with just a note to thank me. I knew then that the game had started.” She approached me again and cut through my shirt. She stared into my eyes, gliding her knife dangerously on my chest. “He talked to me about you. I know he did it because I would get jealous. See? Always a silly little game with him.” She pushed the knife into my skin again. This time, I screamed and I breathed heavily. She giggled, so pleased with herself. I heard a thud while she was giggling. 

I briefly glanced over at the noise and I saw the guard on the floor, unconscious, then he was pulled back, out of my sight. I held my breath and looked back at her to see if she had noticed then a shape appeared in the corner of my eyes. She was still giggling, her eyes closed, clearly satisfied with herself so I glanced again at the door and saw Jake. He was watching the scene, an unreadable expression on his face. 

He took a step but it made some noise and she stopped giggling. I knew I had to do something to distract her. “Do you think he loves you?” Her crazy eyes widened and she smirked. “Of course, he does!” I nodded. “Did he tell you he loves you?” She shook her head. “No but I know he does. You can’t make love to someone without loving them.” I let my laughter take the better of me. She was so naive or in another world, I did not know which one. If I was not tied up to a chair right now and bleeding because of her, I would have felt pity for her. She clearly needed some help. Her face morphed from innocence to anger in a second and she pointed the knife into my chest again. I stopped breathing. “Why is that so funny?” I shrugged slowly, trying to not cut myself on the knife. “Humans have needs and in that case, you were there at the right moment, that’s all.” She let the sharp object pierce me and slowly, excruciatingly slowly she sliced through my skin. I screamed while closing my eyes at the pain blossoming from my chest then the pressure suddenly left me and I opened my eyes.

Jake was in front of me while Amelia was on the floor, unconscious. Jake bent over me to untie my hands. I sighed loudly and closed my eyes, relieved that he had found me. We did not talk, there was nothing to say. I finally opened my eyes and I saw Amelia standing up, a hand high up holding the knife, aiming at Jake. I felt the rope falling down my hands and I stood up to grab her knife. My brusque movement destabilised her and she fell. I fell with her, carried by my momentum. She screamed until her back hit the floor, her breath knocked out of her lungs. I found myself on top of her, my hands holding the sharp object. The feeling of powerlessness and fear gave place to a rage and fury I had never experienced in my life. She wanted to hurt me, fine but Jake. I could not take it.

I plunged her knife in her chest, putting my whole weight into it. I took it out and started to plunge it again when I saw her already lifeless body, the fury that had been ignited my body had left me as quickly as it came. I dropped the knife on her and scrambled away from her, from Jake. I could not believe what I had just done. I looked at my hands and I started to shake. What would Jake think of me now? I just killed someone in front of him. Someone he knew, a friend? Did he consider her as a friend? I was on my knees now and I put my head down. I could not face him. 

I heard his footsteps getting closer to me then his feet appeared in my field of vision. I did not move, staring at his shoes. He called my name but I still did not move. How could he still pronounce my name after what I had just done? I felt his hand on top of my head and he caressed it gently. He whispered my name, I could hear he was getting worried now. How could he be worried after what I had just done? His hand left my head and went to my arm. He pulled me up easily and brought me to his chest. How could he touch me after what I had just done? He wrapped his arms around me and put the side of my face that was not wounded on his chest. How could he embrace me after what I had just done? He rubbed my back soothingly up and down. How could he try to comfort me after what I had just done? 

He called my name again and he pulled away slightly. He brought a hand to my chin and tilted my head so he could look into my eyes. That intense dark look was back on his face but it was even more intense than before. His voice was low and commanding. “Talk to me.” I could not look away from his eyes, they were drawing me in and the only thing I could squawk was. “Do we call the police?” He chuckled darkly. “It’s been taken care of.” His voice sent shivers through my spine. I could only nod as slowly his presence and his voice made me come out of my mental state. I was too inside my thoughts to ask what the “taken care of” meant. 

I finally moved and I wrapped my arms around his chest, nuzzling my nose into his shirt. “I am sorry” My voice was muffled but he understood anyway. “How are you feeling?” I tightened my grip around him. I knew I could tell him how I felt. “I…” I took a deep breath because saying would make it real. “I just killed someone.” He hummed and slowly swayed us back and forth. “How can you still be here? Taking me into your arms?” He sighed and he pressed his cheeks on the top of my head. “You saved my life and even if you had killed her just for the fun of it, I would still hold you.” I giggled despite the situation. “You are weird.” He chuckled and kissed the top of my head. We fell silent and as the situation started to become real so did my wounds. The pain came with a real revenge and I let out a groan. Jake pulled me away and looked at me, concerned. “What? What’s wrong?” I touched the cut on my face and winced. “The cuts. They are starting to be painful.”

He looked at my face then at my chest. I was covered in blood and not just mine. I looked at his shirt and touched it with my bloody hands. “I am sorry about your shirt.” He shook his head, a glint in his eyes I could not identify then took one of my hands. “Can you walk?” I looked at him and my brain decided for a moment to forget what I had just been through. “What if I can’t?’ He chuckled and came closer to me. “I’d have to carry you to my car.” I smiled brightly at him. “Okay then I can’t walk.” He smiled and put his arms around my shoulders and the back of my knees. I wrapped my arms around his neck and I leaned my head on his shoulder. I could smell his perfume, I adored it, I could not remember the name of it but… I brought my face closer to his neck and sniffed his skin. I thought to myself that I would do anything to actually not think about what went on earlier and I thought that I would deal with it later. As I was taking in his smell, I saw his carotid pulsing and an urge to kiss it took me by surprise. I indulged my urge and pressed my lips on it. I felt him falter and his breathing went faster. I smiled and put my head back on his shoulder. 

He opened the passenger’s door and gently bent down to help me sit in the car. I smirked at him. “Thank you so much my knight in shining armour!” He glared down at me and closed the door. I watched him walk around the car to the driver’s side. I admired his body, how he was walking, his back straight, a confidence and arrogance exuding from him. He sat on his seat and started the engine. The roaring of the car made me shudder which made him snap his head. “Are you ok?” I nodded. “It is a nice sound” He snickered. “So where are you taking me?” He started slowly to drive away from that awful place. “My place.”

I raised an eyebrow. “You have a place?” He had a half smile while he glanced at me. “Yes. What did you think? That I still lived in motels?” I stared at him, not knowing what to say. “I didn’t really think about it actually. Maybe you were living with Angela? I don’t know.” He glanced back again and shook his head. “How are your cuts?” I brought the visor down and looked at myself in the mirror. I winced at the sight but at least it was not bleeding anymore. “They still hurt but I think they aren’t bleeding anymore.” He put a hand on my thigh and I put mine on his, squeezing it softly. “We are almost there.” I nodded and closed my eyes.

I woke up in Jake's arms. We were in front of a door and he gently set me down on my feet. He left an arm around me and with his free hand, he looked for his keys. He entered first to turn the alarm off and I followed, a smile on my face thinking that I was not surprised by this installation. He grabbed my hands and led me to the bathroom. He still hadn’t said a word since the car. “What are you doing?” He was starting to take what was left of my shirt off then he kneeled down to take my shoes off. “You’re getting into the shower and after you are cleaned I will look at your wounds.” I nodded and hummed as I put my hands on his shoulders to steady myself as he helped me take off my shoes. He stood up quickly to open the water and I started to take my pants off. 

He quickly undressed too and I could not help but to enjoy the view in front of me. A smirk appeared on his face but he did not say anything. He pushed me gently under the water and I gasped as the hot water splashed on my face, making my wounds sting. He got inside the shower and he stood behind me. I could not see him but I could feel his warmth on my back. He reached over to the rack where his shampoo and shower gel were and grabbed the bottles. He put them on the side next to him and he grabbed me by my shoulders to turn me around so I could face him. I squeaked at the sudden movement. 

He poured the product in his hands and lathered them up. He took a step closer, his chest now touching mine, giving me butterflies in my stomach when I felt his muscled abdomen. He proceeded to wash my body, avoiding my cuts with the product. The gestures were sweet and gentle. He got out of the shower and he grabbed a towel. He unfolded it then I wrapped myself in it. He turned the water off then he grabbed his towel and quickly dried himself off. I stood there watching him, appreciating the droplets running down his skin. He left the bathroom, still without a word and he came back holding fresh clothes. 

I got dressed with the help of the hacker and he took my hand. I followed him to the living room and we stopped in front of the sofa. “Take a seat.” I giggled and sat. He left the room and came back with a first aid kit. He sat next to me to check the cut on my face. “It’s not too deep.” I nodded and I let him take care of the wound. Once he was down, he pulled away. “Can you lift your shirt?” I did as he asked me and treated the second injury. It stung but at  least they were cleaned now and even if I looked weird with a bandage on my face, it felt better. 

He was done with putting the bandage on my chest when his bell rang. He stood up and opened the door. “Hello Jake.” I turned around to see Angela standing in front of him. “Angela. What are you doing here?” She smiled and entered the apartment. “I want to talk to you.” I stood up. “I’ll leave you two alone.” I started to walk to a door I have not gone through yet and before I could close the door behind me, I heard Angela talking. “You never invited me to your house but…” I sighed, I did feel bad for Angela. She was sweet, she did not deserve that. 

I looked around the room. On the wall in front of me, there were pictures upon pictures of me. I took the few steps I needed to get in front of the wall and stared closely at them. At first, I saw pictures of my social media but then there were pictures I had never seen. Photos of me at work, at a bar, walking somewhere, with my friends, with my parents… I took time to process what I was seeing. Has he been… stalking me? I did not know how long I stood there but I got pulled to reality when I heard the door close behind me. I did not turn around but I heard his footsteps coming closer and I felt the heat radiating off his body on my back. I was too stunned to talk or do anything really. 

After a few minutes where none of us said anything, I turned to face him. I watched his face, as usual, it was unreadable. “I don’t know if I should be worried or flattered?” He half-smiled. “That’s for you to judge.” I hummed as I remembered what he said at the lake. 

-You could never disappoint me and if you knew you would know I still want you in my life, always have.- 

I moved around him looking at the photos around the room. “So a whole room dedicated to me then? Isn’t that a little obsessive?” He chuckled. “Yes it is.” I stopped in front of one where I am inside my house. I took it off the wall and brought it to Jake. As I said, I did not know if I was creeped out or flattered. I showed him the photo. “So you actually know everything about my life, don’t you?” He nodded, his eyes following my every movement. “Hmm, I see.” I moved away from him, still looking at the photos. I turned my head slightly and I saw him fidgeting in the corner of my eyes. I smirked to myself and I went back before him. “So someone gives you a little attention, flirts with you by text message and you become obsessed that easily, huh?” 

He stopped his fidgeting and his eyes widened. I stepped closer. “It’s a good thing I actually like you a lot and that I trust you because that would definitely freak me out.” I was about to walk away when he grabbed me by the waist and pushed me against the wall. He kissed me with such force and passion, it literally took my breath away. I gasped when he pulled away with a smirk. He left the room, leaving me panting and wanting more. I shook my head and sighed. 

After a few seconds, I followed him out of the room into the kitchen. I looked at the man who with a few words was making me fall in love with him hard and fast. A knock at the door startled me and he opened it. He took the bags from the person at the door and closed it. He then put the bags on his kitchen counter and started to pull stuff out of them. “There is delivery here in Duskwood?” He frowned. “Yes, Why?” I shrugged and approached the counter. “Because I live in a town bigger than Duskwood and we don’t have food deliveries.” He chuckled and passed me a box out of a bag. “I hope you are hungry. It’s chinese.” I beamed at him and my chest swelled at the fact that he had not forgotten. “Do you really think I would forget anything about you and us?” I raised an eyebrow and thought back about that room. “I guess not.”

We spent the whole evening talking about our childhood, our lives. I was seeing him in a new light. Not the mysterious hacker but a boy who had, his whole life, searched for recognition, any recognition at all from virtually anyone… After a few hours, I yawned. It had been a long day. “Shall we go to bed?” I nodded and I followed him to his bedroom. I was so sleepy, I did not take the time to look around and I just went straight into the duvet. I fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. 

I woke up with a start, my nightmare already a faded memory but the emotions were still raw, overwhelming my thoughts. I felt a body moving next to me and a hand touched my back. “Hey. What’s wrong?” I snapped my head, ready to attack whoever it was when I realised it was Jake, that I was safe here. I plopped down on him and wrapped an arm around him, my head nuzzling his chest. “Had a nightmare.” He wrapped his arms around me. “Want to talk about it?” I shook my head. “Can’t remember it.” He stroked my back. I kept my eyes open even if it was pitch black in the room but I was afraid to fall back asleep and having a new nightmare. The stroking on my back and Jake’s calm breathing quickly lulled me back to sleep. 

I woke up, alone. I sighed and stretched. I looked around and I realised that it was not a dream. Everything that had happened yesterday was real. My heart beat faster at the thought. I had killed someone. It was self defence but I still killed someone. How would I ever be able to get over it? Tears started to well up in my eyes. I relived the whole day. It was the best but also the worst and I did not know how to feel. My breath became shallow as the emotions started to overwhelm me. I could not believe how reckless my behaviour was after the kidnapping, with Jake, how I made jokes or flirted with him. It did not faze him apparently. I remembered the room and all the photos. Jeez. I still did not know how to feel about it and we did not talk about it after. Maybe we should not yet? 

I heard noises coming from the kitchen so I got up and joined Jake. He heard me walking to him and he turned around from cooking, smiling at me. “How did you sleep?” I shyly smiled back. “Better after the nightmare.” He turned around to his cooking. “It’s done, I hope you are hungry.” I nodded and went to sit at the table, waiting for him to serve me breakfast. I was watching, but I could not help it. He was charismatic and you could not just take your eyes away from his form. I saw it happen at the bar too. He brought a plate in front of me as well as my phone. I looked at him, intrigued. “It kept going off. It was Jessy. I answered. She was worried about you and I told her you were fine. I hope that’s okay?” I nodded and looked at my phone. I saw dozens of texts and missed calls. I quickly ate the breakfast and called her back. 

“Could you give me a lift at Jessy’s?” He stared at me and I saw his jaw clench. “Sure.” I tilted my head. “What’s wrong?” He shook his head and ran a hand in his hair, his face relaxing a bit. “I just thought you would spend the day with me.” I smiled and took his hand. “I’m sorry. Jessy needs me and I need to clear my thoughts. I… I have a hard time processing all of that.” He looked at me, concern etched in his gorgeous features. He stood up and cleared the table without another word. I sighed. It seemed it was always like that with him. He could not say what he thought at the time. 

I left the table and went to the bathroom. I saw my pants lying on the floor, they were dirty but I put them on after taking off Jake’s shorts. I went back to Jake. “Can I keep your shirt? As mine is kind of destroyed?” He just nodded his head and I sighed again. “Jake…” I stepped closer to him and I lightly touched his back. “Jake.” He turned around and faced me, an annoyed look on his face. I ignored it even if I felt a pinch in my chest. “I… I don’t know what to say. I am overwhelmed and staying here with you it’s too much. Right now, I need to be in the presence of someone who doesn’t know anything about it.” Jake was taller than me so I stood on my toes and kissed him. At first, he did not move but after a few seconds, he moved his hands on my hips and pulled me closer. He was first to pull away and he leaned his forehead on mine, closing his eyes. 

He exhaled loudly. “I just… Now, that I have kissed you, that you slept in my arms…” He opened his eyes and the darkness was back. I realised what it was now. Obsession, want and need all together. “I can’t let go of you anymore.” I pecked him on the nose. “You know in two days I have to go back home?” Still with eyes closed, he frowned and shook his head. “I know and I don’t want to think about it.” I caressed his cheek then I hugged him with my whole body. “Can we go?” He reluctantly moved away from me and grabbed his keys. “Yeah…” 

I was in front of Jessy’s door. I had said goodbye to the hacker when he finally let me go. I smiled when I thought about him. He was so sweet and still mysterious. I could not wait to know more about him and to spend more time with him. I did not know how but I did not lose anything when all of these happened. I still had my phone, my wallet and my keys. So I took the keys and opened the door. I could hear Jessy being in the bathroom so I hurried up and went straight to the guest room to change before Jessy saw me. I kept Jake’s shirt on, it felt nice and it smelled like him. 

When I came out of the room, Jessy was in the kitchen. “Hey Jessy.” She jumped and turned around. “Hey! You’re back!” She looked me over and gasped when she saw the bandage on my face. “What happened? Did Jake do that to you?” I laughed and shook my head. “No, don’t worry about it.” I walked over to her. “Are you making coffee?” She stared at me suspiciously but did not make any more comments. “Yes.” She gave me a cup. “What do you want to do today?” I thanked her and grabbed the cup. “Anything you want.” She looked at the window and smiled. “Shall we go to the lake? It’s nice outside! We can have a picnic and sunbathe!” 

The day went by quickly. It was so nice out there and being here with someone I could now claim as my best friend was a nice change compared to the day before and I was so grateful to her for not pushing about what happened to me. I received texts, normal texts from the hacker during the day. I was surprised he used a normal way to communicate but I was glad. It felt like a somewhat normal relationship. I answered sporadically as I wanted my focus to be on my friend and not on him. I would do that when I would be home, overthinking every action I made that brought me where I ended up. Jessy had started to open up. She confided in me a lot. I could see that slowly a weight was lifting off of her shoulders. 

We went back home late in the afternoon. We put our pjs on and spent the rest of the evening watching TV and drinking wine. We woke up both on the sofa and got ready for the day. She had planned a day with the group as I was leaving in the afternoon. My vacation was finally over. I felt sad as we walked down to the coffee shop. All of them were already there, except Jake. I was sad. I wanted to see him before I left but I put away the sadness and smiled happily while I hugged my friends. They all asked me what had happened to my face but I lied saying that while I was walking in the forest a branch had grazed me and they moved on. I texted Jake. 

*We are at the coffee shop. Are you coming?*

I locked my phone and joined the conversation. A few hours passed and Jake finally answered.

*I’ll meet you at the bus station.” 

I smiled and I realised it was time to leave if I did not want to miss my bus. I stood up. “Well… I have to go. I wanted to say… I am glad I could finally meet all of you and I hope we can still be in touch even though we are far away. I would have loved to stay longer but I need to go back to work but know that you are always welcome in my house and I actually have the space for all of you together! So please do not hesitate to come whenever you can!” They all stood up and we went for a group hug. 

Jessy dropped me off at the station after we went back to her flat to get my luggage. The trip was in silence, both of us in our own bubbles. When she stopped, I got out of the car and grabbed my bag. I hugged her with all my strength. “Thank you for having me Jessy. I’ll miss you so much.” Tears were running down my cheeks, it broke my heart to leave her, especially after she confided in me, knowing that she had not told anyone else what she was going through. “You could come with me?” She cried and laughed at the same time. “I’d love to, but thanks to you I decided to move to Colville. I have an opportunity for a job there so I think I will take it.” I grinned, I was so proud of her for trying to move on. “Alright, Thank you for the lift and I want to know everything about your move!” She sniffled and wiped her cheeks. “Yes I will if you promise to tell me what really happened to you. I know it wasn’t a branch who hurt you.” I blushed. “Right. I promise you.” She giggled and got back inside her car. I waved her goodbye when I felt someone standing next to me. 

Jake grabbed my bag and my hand without a word, as usual. We walked towards the station, still in silence. We stopped and faced each other. He cupped my face and leaned in to kiss me. His kiss was soft, the opposite of what was written on his face. He looked sad, in pain. I put my hand on his chest and smiled. “Thank you for coming, Jake.” He smiled and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close. He buried his face in the crook of my neck. “I don’t think I can let you go.” I also wrapped my arms around him and kissed his neck. “I am going to miss you too but I can’t just quit and leave everything.” His grip tightened around me. “I know” My hands were moving up and down, I was trying to comfort him as much as I could when we heard the bus arriving. 

He kissed me again and again. The kisses became more and more desperate and needy. I had to stop him because the bus driver was about to close the door. I did not want to but I had no choice. “I have to go.” I took my luggage and entered the bus. I found an empty seat where I could see Jake. He had that blank face again and I realised that face was the one where he felt a strong emotion but he did not want it to show. I waved at him, tears started to form in my eyes. I wanted to stay. I could have stayed actually but I just could not uproot my life for people I just only met. 

I closed my eyes as I did not want to see the hacker slowly moving further away as the bus moved. I was finally alone with my thoughts. All the events that happened the week before came rushing back all at once and I got overwhelmed. I opened my eyes and looked outside. That was a crazy week. I still did not know what happened to Amelia’s body. Will there be an investigation? Would I be suspected? Why did Jake say it was taken care of? What does that mean? I forgot to ask him. I sent him a text with that question but as usual he ignored it.

*Is it really the first thing you are sending me?*

I laughed to myself. Always so mysterious. I put my phone away and carried on watching the outside and without realising it I fell asleep. I woke up, feeling lost. It took me some time to realise where I was and I chuckled. I looked at the time and I realised we were almost at my stop. I slept for the whole trip! Incredible! 

I descended from the bus and looked around, sadness took over me. There was no one to greet me back home. I walked back home. I decided to relax at home for the day as the next day I had to go to work. Before I left for my holidays, I had cleaned the whole house so I did not have to do it when I came back and I was glad and thanked my past self for the huge service! I spent the whole day watching TV, trying to drown my overwhelming thoughts. I binge-watched a new series I always told myself I should watch and I did not regret it for a second. I am looking forward to the new seasons! I looked at the time as I was getting so tired. I made myself something quick to eat then I got ready to go to bed. I had texted Jessy and Jake that I had arrived and I was glad to be home. Jessy answered me and we carried on texting during the day but I had no answer from Jake. 

Next day arrived and the routine fell back into place. Woke up, made myself a cup of coffee, ate breakfast, got dressed and went to work. I loved my job but it was hard to get back to it. My mind could not stop going back to Duskwood and the people in it. The day was over before I knew. My coworkers asked me about my holidays and I told her a few things that had happened. I had taken off the bandage by that point and the cut was clearly still visible but, unexpectedly, no one had asked me about it! I was glad about it. 

I went home and put on something more comfortable. I had the rest of the afternoon off as usual, I liked that job and having the afternoon off was one of the reasons. I was going about my business when I heard a knock on my door. I frowned. Who could that be? I did not usually have any visitors so I was really surprised about it. I opened it and I stood there frozen. There, in a different town, in a different country, stood Jake. He was staring at me, a half smile and a hand running through his hair. “Hi” I unfroze. “Hi Jake. What… What are you doing here?” He let his arm fall down his side and tilted his hair. “Can I come in? I am not a stranger anymore, am I?” I laughed and moved aside so he could get in. He had two bags with him. He entered the living room and looked around. “Nice house.” I shrugged. “It’s okay I guess.” He approached me and stopped in front of me. “I told you I couldn’t let go of you.” And he kissed me, with so much passion that it took my breath away again. I did not know how he managed that but I was becoming addicted to his way of kissing. He pushed me against a wall while kissing me. He grabbed the back of my thighs and made me wrap them around his waist. I put my arms around his neck and scratched his scalp. He pulled his head away. “Where is your bedroom?” I smiled and pointed towards the stairs.

================================================

THE END

I am sorry for the long story... I just couldn't decide when to cut... So I didn't write the smut part as I'm not confident in doing it and I have no one to beta read all I write... I might do it... I don't know yet... I also did not write more about the day at the lake with Jessy at the end because I didn't see any purpose to it. I might do it too. We'll see with the response :).

You can find this story in its entirety in AO3 :)

[tmngoose]

Some Assembly Required: a Rottmnt story

Remember this post? Well, I decided to clean up what I had and show it to y’all. This was supposed to be a much longer story, but back when I was writing it, I jumped ship for a different fic I was working on and never came back OTL Characters: Donnie, Mikey, Raph, Leo, April, Shelldon, Draxum, Huginn & Muninn (albeit super brief) Tags: Lab accidents, fires, minor injuries, hurt/comfort, obscure UHF reference I won’t be uploading this to Ao3, so you can read it under the cut :U

For the longest time, Donnie dreamed of the perfect lab partner. Though Shelldon was an impeccable assistant, there were moments where Donnie longed to work side-by-side with another scientist. Someone with a thirst for knowledge! Someone who shared his passion for all things technical and methodical; a scientist, just like he considered himself to be! 

To think Baron Draxum would be Donnie's long-awaited lab partner was not a scenario the Softshell had ever fathomed. Still, it was one he accepted with great enthusiasm. 

Draxum and Donnie saw no reason to doubt their capabilities. However, the rest of the family remained wary whenever the two of them went off meddling in the lab. With April's help, Raph, Leo, and Mikey devised a strict set of guidelines to ensure Donnie and Draxum wouldn't get into too much trouble. 

"Scoff!" Donnie threw the hefty packet of rules down at his feet, offended. "What do you take us for: a pair of unhinged Frankensteins? Y'know, it'd be nice if, just for once, you guys would have a little faith in our scientific endeavors!" 

"It's not that we don't trust you guys," April explained, "It's just... you guys tend to get a little carried away with your projects, that's all!" 

"What's that suppose to mean?" 

"The last time Barry was in a lab, he created the Oozesquitos," April folded her arms, "And don't get me started about the time you messed with your brother's brains."

"Okay! I get it!" Donnie sighed. He picked up the packet of rules and flapped the dust out from its pages. "We won't get carried away: Todd scout's honor." 

April smiled, "Thanks, Dee." 

"Yes, well, if you'll excuse me, Draxum and I were just about to partake in our latest  scientific acquisition: Professor Philo's Chemistry Set for the At-Home Scientist!" Donnie started off for his lab, tucking the packet into a compartment in his battle-shell.

April shook her head, smiling as she headed inside the living room, where the sounds of 8-bit gaming welcomed her. Raph and Mikey were too invested in whatever racing game they were playing to notice April. 

"Soo, how'd it go?" Leo asked from his beanbag chair. "Is Donnie mad that we're afraid he'll bring Potatozilla into existence or what?"

"I say he handled it pretty well!" April plopped herself down in the recliner. "I told Donnie that we just wanted to make sure he and Draxum toned it down a bit, that's all." 

"See? I told you he'd listen to April!" Mikey grinned smugly at Leo.

Leo rolled his eyes, "Whatever." He went back to scrolling his social feed on his phone, "I'll believe it when they don't create a giant mutant potato or somethin'."

"Be nice, Leo," April swung her legs over the armrest. "We've gotta have a little faith in 'em. Besides, I've never seen Donnie this happy since-" 

KA-BOOOOOOM!!!

A powerful tremor shook the lair, taking everyone by surprise. The trinkets Splinter's 'Do Not Touch' cabinet rattled and shook, a few of the lighter items clattered to the floor. April held onto the armchair with Raph steadying it before it could topple over backward. Mikey hid inside of his shell out of reflex as Leo jumped to his feet, prepared to face whatever threat was upon them.

"Omigosh!" Mikey exclaimed, popping his head out of his shell. "What was that?!" 

"You don't think DIGG's tryin' to take down the Kaufman Coliseum again?" Raph frowned, trying to rub the ringing out from his ears. 

"Um, guys?" Leo sniffed the air, "Does anyone else smell something burning, or is that Raph's 'Taken-By-Surprise' stink?" 

Raph sniffed at his underarm, "Nope. It's not me!" 

April and Mikey took a moment to smell the air, their noses wrinkled at the familiar acrid odor of smoke. 

And smoke could only mean one thing: something was on fire. 

Oh no! Donnie! Barry! April's stomach dropped over the thought. She bolted out of the living room with Raph, Leo, and Mikey right behind her. "Please let it be a giant mutant potato!" 

It wasn't a giant mutant potato. 

By the time they entered the atrium, a thick cloud of smoke had spilled out from the mouth of Donnie's lab, billowing up into the rafters above. Although they couldn't see it, they could hear the fire roaring from deep within the lab.

"Mad Dogz!" Raph barked, "Initiate ‘Fire Safety Plan Alpha!’"  “FSssPAH!” Mikey pronounced the acronym from the back of the group.

But before Raph could lead the rescue, Draxum leaped out from the smoke carrying Donnie in his arms; their matching lab coats singed. Shelldon flew out, not too far behind, with Huginn and Munnin holding onto his back. 

"Barry!" April ran up to the soot-stained alchemist. "What happened?! I thought y'all we're gonna take things easy? Didn’t y’all read the packet?!" 

"We were," Draxum rasped, passing Donnie's limp body into Raph's arms. "If it weren't for a pair of idle hands." He gave his gargoyles a sharp look while removing the safety goggles from his face, leaving clean rings around his eyes.

Munnin's wings sagged, "The instructions weren't joking when it said 'everything in this chemistry set is a fire hazard.'"

"Yeah, including the instructions," Huginn hung his head, "Our bad."

"So, how're we suppose to handle this whole situation?" Leo asked, gesturing to the raging inferno that was (formally) Donnie's lab.

"I'm on it, dudes!" Shelldon replied, concentrating on his emergency protocols hardwired into his drives.

The fire-alarm system blared to life. Then came the hissing of the sprinklers going off and the gush of extinguishing foam spraying deep within the lab. Slowly, the smoke was beginning to ease up, much to everyone's relief.

Slowly, Donnie began to stir, groaning as he slowly regained consciousness, "Ugh... what? M-my lab..." His confusion morphed into panic as he realized the severity of the situation. "My lab!!" He squirmed feebly in Raph's arms, mortified.

"Woah, take it easy," Raph held Donnie against him, firm enough to subdue him yet careful not to hurt him. "That chemistry set of yours nearly got you guys barbequed." 

Donnie frowned, "No, you don't understand!" His eyes stung with tears as he thought of his life's work gone in a blaze of unsupervised stupidity. "Everything's ruined!"

"Hey, you don't know that for sure!" April gently touched Donnie's shoulder. "Besides, what's important is you're both okay!" 

"April's right," Mikey agreed, clinging to Draxum's side, "We're glad y'all made it out safely. A little flambéed, but you get the idea."

"But my lab," Donnie emphasized. 

"Lab shmab, we can worry about that later!" Leo nudged Draxum with his elbow. "For now, let's focus on getting you toasted marshmallows taken care of."

"Yeah, what Leo said!" Raph adjusted Donnie in his arms, heading for the bathroom where the first aid kit was kept. "Just you wait; maybe it's not as bad as you think!"

                                                            -x-

Raph's sense of judgment was always a mixed bag, and this time, he couldn't have been farther from the truth. 

The lab was a smoldering mess, virtually unrecognizable to the Turtles, Draxum, and April. The walls were blackened, and the smell of burnt wiring and computer parts hung sourly in the air. Puddles of foam and water gathered in parts of the floor, adding to the disarray.

Donnie searched desperately for anything salvageable, but the prospects were slim to none. The bandaged Softshell approached the remnants of his workstation, absolutely gutted. He reached for what was once a prototype for a new battle shell, but it crumbled into ash in his hands. 

"Alas, this must've been what it felt like to lose the Library of Alexandria," Donnie mourned poetically, sinking to his knees. Shelldon drifted up to his heartbroken creator, pressing his head against Donnie's side like the loyal drone he was.

"Okaaayyy, so it's a little charbroiled in here," Leo cringed. "But if anyone can fix this, it's you!" 

"Do you have any idea how long that'll take me?" Donnie moaned, overwhelmed by the daunting task. "It took me years of refurbishing junk and computer parts, and now I have nothing! Zilch! Nada! No equipment, no materials, no anything!"

Donnie's outburst left the others speechless. They had seen him upset before, but nothing to this extent. 

Quietly, Draxum approached Donatello, "As someone who has lost their life's work twice, I understand your plight," he said, joining the turtle on the floor. "However, unlike myself, you are fortunate not to face this endeavor alone. You have your friends, your brothers, and... your lab partner," Draxum looked off to the side, somewhat flustered by the sentimental mushiness his words implied. 

"Draxibald's right, Donnie!" Mikey beamed. He was so proud of Barry for stepping up to the plate. He popped up in between them, slinging his arms over their shoulders, "You've got us to help you! We'll have your lab up and running in no time!"

Leo smiled, "Yeah, with you bossing us around, we can totally get the job done!"

"But a total rebuild of this scope requires a certain level of technological sophistication!" Donnie deflated, "So unless you know of any tech-savvy geniuses out there, I don't see how any of this is possible."

"Oh, I know a guy," April answered, "And I'm lookin' right at him~" She smiled at Donnie, who didn't know how to process the compliment. "Have a little faith in yourself, Dee!"  Donnie blinked, stunned that his own words were used against him.

"Yeah, you said so yourself!” Raph joined in, “You and that big brain of yours built this lab out of nothin' but junk! If there's anyone who can build back better than ever, it's you! So whaddya say, Don?"

Donnie looked at Raph's hand extended out to him. He then glanced over at Leo, Mikey, and April, all eagerly awaiting his response. He turned to Draxum, who gave a curt nod.

Touched by the support of his family, Donnie wiped away a tear from the corner of his eye, "I say let's order some pizzas and chop-chop! Rome wasn't built in a day, people! We've got our work cut out for us!"  He took Raph’s hand and was lifted up from the ground.  Yes, Donnie supposed he could have a little faith in himself, and everyone else as well.

[kate04us]

Walking Away

More prompt fic! I got two really awesome angst prompts, one from @virtualtaleinternet (”Do you even still love me?”) and one as an anonymous request (”Nobody has seen you in days”), and they happened to find a shared home in this story. Thank you so much for the fun prompts!

This is for @kadi219, because she loves Sharon/Jack angst, and because it’s her birthday, and because she’s the bestest twin in the whole world. Happy Birthday, lady! 😘💙

“Where the hell have you been, Jack?”

Sharon had lost count of the number of times she had asked that question over the last several years. She should be used to it by now. Ever since Ricky had been a baby, Jack had spent less and less time at home. It had started with late nights at work that turned into even later nights at the bar. Those had slowly become all-nighters that morphed into entire weekends away. So far, he’d had the curtesy to at least let someone know where he was, even if she had to make half a dozen calls before she found out.

This time, however, he had been gone for almost a week, and no one had known where he was. She always worried about him when he was gone. He drank too much, and while he wasn’t a violent drunk, he did have a big mouth. It was only a matter of time before he had words with the wrong person, or got hit by a car, or got robbed, or passed out and hit his head. There was no end to the horrifying scenarios her mind, aided by her job experience, provided, and she had spent countless nights tossing and turning, waiting for him to come home.

“I was out with a few friends,” he replied, his tone dismissive, as if he had merely missed dinner by half an hour.

Sharon shook her head, crossing her arms in front of her as she stared at him. “Jack, nobody has seen you in days.

It was a struggle to keep her voice down. She wanted to yell at him for scaring her, for making Emily cry because he had missed her recital, but she knew that it would be useless. He was still drunk, he looked like he hadn’t seen a shower or a razor in days, and his shirt and tie were probably beyond even their drycleaner’s considerable skills. It was the red and black silk tie she had gotten him for his last birthday, she noted. That he had ruined it seemed to be just one more thing he didn’t care about.

“What about it? Tom just thought it’d be fun to go to Vegas for a day or two, so we went,” he explained, shrugging his shoulders, and looking at her as if he really didn’t understand what all the fuss was about. “Can’t a guy spend some time with his friends anymore?”

Closing her eyes, Sharon took a deep, calming breath, pinching the bridge of her nose as she felt a headache building up behind her eyes.

“Yes, Jack, of course you can spend time with your friends. However, it would be appreciated if you let me know about it, so that I don’t have to sit at home wondering if I’m going to get a call from the police asking me to identify your dead body.” Her voice hitched slightly at that thought. She had gone down that road in too many of her nightmares. With a quieter voice she continued, “It would also be nice if you checked whether we have anything scheduled before you vanish. I had to ask someone to swap on-call nights because I couldn’t find anyone to watch the children on such short notice. And you’ll have to think of something to make it up to Emily that you missed the recital you promised to go to. I told her you had to go on a work trip, and I gave her some flowers from you, but she was heartbroken.”

It wasn’t the first time that Sharon had been forced to cover for her husband, and it was only a matter of time before the children would be too old to fall for it. A year, or even a few months earlier, she might have held on to the hope that he would get better, that he would keep his word, cut back on the drinking, and be there for them. That time had passed, however. She would keep fighting for their marriage, because that was what she was supposed to do, but it was exhausting to do it alone.

“Yeah, I’ll take her for ice cream or something tomorrow,” he suggested, sounding as if caring for his own daughter was an imposition. It angered Sharon more than all the inconsiderate behavior he had aimed at her over the years.

“You promised not to do this anymore, Jack,” she reminded him, suddenly tired of rehashing the same argument over and over again. “You said you would be here more, that we’d do this together. We’re supposed to be a team, remember?”

He rolled his eyes and heaved a deep sigh as he leaned against wall next to the stairs. “Do we have to do this now? I’m tired and I have a headache, and your nagging only makes it worse.” When he looked at her and saw her thunderous expression, he sighed again, his tone a little more conciliatory when he went on. “I’m here now, okay? I’ll watch the kids this week if you’re on call. Is that what you want?”

His words felt like a slap in the face, and she swallowed past the tears she refused to shed in front of him. She knew that he didn’t try to hurt her or to be cruel, but that didn’t lessen the pain he inflicted with his dismissive words.

“You don’t even remember, do you?”

Throwing his arms up, Jack shook his head. “What? Did I forget some school fundraiser or the church fair? What is it this time, Sharon?”

She shook her head in resignation at his annoyance. She couldn’t do this anymore. This was how it always went between them these days. It had been for almost five years. She had tried so hard to understand him, to figure out what she was doing wrong, why it was so difficult for him to be with her, with his family, but no matter what she did, no matter how many concessions she made, he seemed to be unable or unwilling to change. Maybe it was time she admitted defeat and stopped expecting him to be the husband and father she wished for.

“You know what? Forget about it. It doesn’t matter anymore.”

She didn’t even have the energy to be angry anymore. All she felt was overwhelming hurt and a sense of hopelessness that made her eyes sting with tears. What was the point of reminding him that it had been their eighth wedding anniversary three days ago? If he couldn’t recall that they had planned a romantic evening at a nice restaurant, or that they had tickets to see his favorite opera, what would it accomplish if she brought it up now? He didn’t seem to care, so there was no use in talking about any of it.

Without another word, Sharon turned around, intending to go outside, to sit on the patio and stare at the starless sky until the splinters of her shattered heart stopped cutting into her. Or at least until Jack had gone upstairs and passed out. She took a few steps away from him but paused in the doorway to the living room.

“Do you even still love me?”

Her voice was quiet, no more than a whisper, raspy and shaking as she forced the words out. She didn’t dare look at him, her eyes fixed on the ground. The silence was oppressive. The only sounds she heard was the whirring of the air-conditioning unit and the wild beating of her own heart. With every passing second, another piece broke off her heart, and when she couldn’t take it anymore, she looked at him over her shoulder.

Sharon didn’t know what she had expected. She had hoped for an unequivocal yes, but braced herself for a dismissive shrug or a more or less subtle no. The shock and heartbreak she saw on his face, his eyes glistening with unshed tears, was much worse. She saw it all right there. He did still love her, and he knew he was hurting her, but he didn’t know how to be what she needed. He feared losing her, and maybe he was right to. What was she supposed to do with this, with a one-sided marriage that wasn’t short on love, because, God help her, she did love this man, but on everything else? Was it even still worth fighting for? It would have been easier if he had told her that he didn’t love her anymore. It would have hurt, but at least it would have made the way ahead clearer.

With a short nod and a sad smile, Sharon turned away from him and walked back into the living room. She hesitated at the patio doors, one hand on the doorknob, watching his reflection in the glass. He had started to follow her but paused in the doorway. Their eyes met for a breathless moment, until his shoulders sagged, and his gaze dropped to the floor at his feet before he turned around and trudged up the stairs.

Sharon let out a shuddering breath, screwing her eyes closed. Her throat felt tight, and she tried to swallow past it, to keep her emotions bottled up, but it was no use. Pressing her hand against her mouth, she leaned her head against the doorframe. Her shoulders shook with her quiet sobs as she finally allowed the tears to fall.

The moment he had turned around, she realized that she had wanted him to come after her, but once again, he had chosen to walk away. Once again, he had left her alone with her fears, and pain, and broken heart. Once again, he had left her to make the decisions. Once again, he had left her.

Maybe it was time she learned how to leave.

~FIN~

[karama9]

Mini Fic time

Or "not so much a theory as something I find entertaining to think about, in prose". Follows Rocketear so spoilers ahead! Hurt Comfort fic, but before you get any idea, in a strictly emotional sense.

Long post, so story under the read more.

Despite Plagg's attempt at soothing him, Adrien could not shake off the day's events.

It was bad enough that he'd found out who Rena Rouge and Carapace were from someone else than Ladybug, even if it was from Carapace himself.

It was bad enough that he'd found out THEY were allowed to know each other's identities. Nino associated it with the fact they shared everything... was he right? Was it because they were close that Ladybug had been ok with that? Weren't he and Ladybug close enough for that too? Sure they weren't a couple, as much as he wished they were, but there are other kinds of closeness.

But when he paired it with Nino's assessment that Ladybug found Cat Noir annoying... when he thought about the fact Nino's assessment was from time Carapace spent with the two of them and probably also reflected his own feelings...

It hurt.

He was not new to pain... a lot of things that happened in his civilian life hurt, in fact heartache was pretty much the norm since his mother had gone, broken only by bright moments with friends, which were few and far between as Adrien but had been more recently mercifully combined with outright glee when he was Cat Noir. Cat Noir was freedom and fun, but he was also one of an indestrutible pair and sometimes, one of a fantastic team. And above all that, Cat Noir was Ladybug's partner, and being Cat Noir meant being with her. For as long as he could remember, that had been the best part of being Cat Noir.

Knowing she found him annoying, as apparently was obvious to anyone but himself, was heartbreaking. He knew she didn't always enjoy his jokes, but it was usually the timing she didn't like. She'd tell him to be serious because she needed him to be at that moment, not because she generally disliked him. Or so he had thought until today.

Even with Rena Rouge being called upon more often and sometimes appearing to know more than he did, sometimes DEFINITELY knowing more than he did to the point that the two girls would make action plans that didn't include him at all... he had been annoyed, angry even, but he had still convinced himself that Ladybug valued him and that times where he couldn't help were isolated incidents that couldn't be avoided. He still didn't like it, and he had intended to have a talk with Ladybug about it because it was starting to feel like back when Master Fu only communicated with her and he couldn't stand the thought of his Lady distancing herself from him that much. But that was what that issue had been in his head... something to talk over with Ladybug so it could be fixed.

After today, he saw it all in a new light. His relationship with Ladybug wasn't going to be fixed by complaining to her because what he saw now was simply the result of Ladybug having the luxury of relying on others more now. The annoying Cat Noir didn't have to always be the one by her side now, the team could be bigger and well, not everyone on a big team is needed all the time, right? So he could be sidelined and she could get a break now and again, she didn't have to put up with him all the time.

His throat tightened and he felt tears flooding his eyes at the thought. He had tried to move on from Ladybug. He had even loved Kagami, but it hadn't worked out because he had to lie to her all the time. Except maybe he hadn't HAD to? Alya and Nino had been excused from that. Either way, it hadn't worked out and to his surprise, what had upset him the most had been that Kagami was hurt, not the fact he was losing her. He'd quickly realized that he was still in love with Ladybug, regardless of any feeling he'd had for Kagami as well.

That love being unrequited at the moment was not great, but at least he'd had Ladybug's friendship. She still loved him, cared for him... and that was good enough. Romance would have been nice, but what was there was still wonderful.

And it hadn't been there at all. He'd been deluding himself. They were partners, yes. But Ladybug was just dealing with an annoying partner very professionally. He was just a nuisance that made being a super hero that much less fun for her, something she just had to put up with.

He started sobbing, staying as silent as possible not to be heard by anyone, and ignored all of Plagg's attempts at comforting him with cheese nonsense. He eventually fell into an uneasy sleep and when he woke up, he wanted nothing more than a friendly face.

Nino was out. Adrien realized that Nino had been speaking out of anger and was a genuine friend, but right now Adrien couldn't even look at him without hearing that Ladybug found him annoying again. He stayed outside of the class, avoiding his best friend and everyone else in there he didn't want to see, from Lila to Chloe and even Alya. Alya was Rena Rouge, she was the one allowing Ladybug to take breaks from having to deal with her nuisance of a partner Cat Noir... he supposed he should be grateful on his Lady's behalf but he couldn't quite manage it.

Marinette came running down the hall towards class, last one here as usual, and Adrien's eyes widened even as his mouth automatically lost its pout to form a smile. At this moment, Marinette was nothing short of a lifeline. He waved at her, trying to think of an excuse, when she tripped and fell flat on her face.

He rushed towards her but she was already jumping back to her feet, stammering that she was fine. Reassuring as it was, Adrien wasn't about to lose such a great opportunity to spend a few more minutes with her and away from class.

"I don't know, Marinette, that really looked like a bad fall. Let me walk you to the nurse's office. Please?"

Marinette turned bright red but mercifully nodded. Adrien grabbed her arm and 'accidentally' turned the wrong way. The building was a square, but the nurse's office was much closer if you went in the direction opposite the one he had taken.

"Er..." Marinette said.

"I actually really need to talk to you," Adrien admitted.

Marinette stopped walking. He turned and was faced with a worried expression on Marinette's face.

"You do? What's wrong? Are you ok?"

He automatically started to say yes but his voice caught and nothing came out but an undefined strangled sound.

Marinette's eyes widened. "You're not!" she said, a note of panic in her voice. She had a quick look around and her features morphed into a determined expression that was so much like Ladybug's it was downright eerie. "Forget the nurse's office, come with me!"

And suddenly, she was dragging him along. They ended up in the deserted art room. She closed the door and turned to him, her expression once more nothing but concern.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

For a second, he thought he wouldn't be able to say anything for not knowing where to start and how to not give away his secret identity, and then everything came flooding out in a blur. By the time he was fully aware again, his cheeks were wet, his chest was aching and he was in Marinette's arms.

His eyes widened and he tried to push himself away, embarassed and horrified at having dumped everything on her, along with hysterical crying by the feels of it, and had he told her he was Cat Noir? He wasn't even sure.

She tightened her grip and he noticed it had already been rather tight. He managed to pull his head away to look at her face and mentally kicked himself: he'd made her cry too.

"Marinette... I... I'm sorry, I didn't mean to... I don't even know what I said but..."

She swallowed and when she answered, her voice was far calmer than he would have expected.

"You said you were only ever happy when you're Cat Noir because even though you wish she was more, you're still happy to be with Ladybug as a friend and partner, but now you think she hates you because you keep being left out and you found out Rena Rouge and Carapace can share their identities with each other even though she won't share hers with you, and now you think she finds you annoying so you're heartbroken and you think it may be best for everyone for you to give up your miraculous."

Adrien's eyes widened. He'd broken the secret, he'd told her everything, even about Nino and her best friend Alya. He groaned. "At least now Ladybug has a good reason to hate me."

Marinette tensed again. She took a deep breath and then pulled away just enough to look him in the eyes.

"No," she said firmly. She finished pulling away and opened her purse. She nodded at the content and before Adrien could even begin to guess what that was about, Tikki peeked out, not looking either of them in the eye.

"This was MY fault," Marinette whispered, "not yours. I can't believe I hurt you t his much, and I never even would have known if..." she shook her head. "You said my name, Marinette that is, a few times, so it's best I don't transform. You should, though: nothing you said identified you as Adrien so your identity will still be safe if someone comes in or sees us leave. Thankfully you didn't blurt out anyone's civilian names, not even Rena or Carapace's, you were much more careful about talking in tongues whenever you were talking about them. You're a great friend even when you don't know what you're saying."

Adrien barely registered the words, staring at Tikki. He tore his eyes away from the kwami to look at Marinette. More than anything else, she looked sad. She started talking again as soon as she had his attention.

"We'll talk more later but this can't wait," she said, still whispering, "I do NOT find you annoying. Your friend was angry, and he was wrong. Adrien... Cat Noir... I love and appreciate you SO much. I'm sorry I so completely failed to show that lately, and I'm sorry I left you out. I didn't mean to. I'm so sorry, I didn't even notice and it happened more than once. I'm sorry. You're my friend, not just my partner, and I never, EVER want to lose you. That's never changed and it never will."

Adrien was reeling. Ladybug. Marinette was Ladybug. He'd been crying in Ladybug's arms. And she didn't hate him at all, and she was sorry.

"Why did you let them know each other?" he said, clinging madly to something that hadn't dramatically changed in his head in the past two minutes. "Why was it okay for them but not for us?"

"I'm worried about being interrupted," she whispered, her tone business-like. "There's a really good chance some people heard you, they need to think it was Cat Noir talking to me. I'll deal with people wondering why he would, but you need to transform."

"Wait," he said, an important fact suddenly dawning on him. "You had a crush on me at one point!"

"Kitty..."

"Right. Plagg," he whispered, "claws out."

Marinette sighed in relief. The timing was spot on, they heard voices coming down the hall, with Alya's ringing over the others trying to steer them away by saying that Cat Noir deserved some privacy if he wanted it. It was to no avail, the door burst open to several students staring at Cat Noir and Marinette.

He hurriedly got up.

"Oops, looks like my rehearsal was overheard! Sorry about the disruption, everyone! What did you think, Miss Dupain-Cheng? Was I convincing?" He waggled his eyebrows at her.

She giggled. "Not bad," she teased. "Kind of too hammy, as you might have guessed from how I was crying laughing, but I think you'll be alright if we practice tonight. "I will await you on my balcony, Sir Cat!"

Cat Noir chuckled and nodded, understanding the rendez-vous as real even if the reason was a lie. He bowed to the gaping students and jumped out the window, bounding away.

He still needed a long talk with Ladybug, but the pain of the last 24 hours felt like a dim memory. He knew for a fact that they'd work it out, because that's what friends and partners did, and above all else, he knew one thing beyond all doubt: Marinette was his friend.

[blubberingmess]

[Crazy]

Pairings: dark!Bucky x dark!reader

Summary: they say that when a person is in love, they would do anything for the person they're in love with. They're not wrong.

Warnings: mention of death, crazy couple, implied smut.

Note: I'm still a bit hazy and tired from the medicines so excuse my writing~

You sneered, stalking closer to the unconscious woman on the couch with a wine glass filled with water in your hand and a gun in the other. Her face makes your blood boil, wanting to just aim your gun and shoot her straight in the face but then she won't feel it - that's not fun.

Why are you so angry to this poor woman? She's no poor woman, she's a slut; going around and feeling up your man! No one does that-- no one does that and make it out alive.

Getting impatient, you dump the water onto her head before smashing it on her as well. She jolts up from her slumber, sputtering curses and incoherent words, only stopping when she finally noticed you standing in front of her with a dark aura around you.

"Good evening," you greeted monotonously. She looked up at you with wide eyes and started to shake as soon as she saw the gun in your hand.

"What are you doing? Please don't hurt me."

You rolled your eyes. "Chill, I ain't gonna do anything yet. I just want to talk to you for a second and I'll be on my way."

She gulped, already feeling the blood losing from her face as tears began to fall down pathetically. Yet? So that mean you are going to kill her?

You took her silence as a sign to continue, twirling the gun in your hand. "Why'd you kiss my man?"

"Y-your man?" She was taken aback by the question, genuinely confused as she continue, "You mean Bucky?"

You blink at her. "Yes."

Guilt flashed behind her eyes as she realized her mistake. "I-I'm sorry, I thought he's s-single. Well, that's what he told me at the p-party."

You blink again, before looking down on the wooden floor. "He did didn't he?" You whispered mostly to yourself.

Of course he would, he is single. But if he wants a relationship why'd he never came for you? You two are close and are friends, he could just ask and you'll throw yourself at him without a second thought. You're so in love with him you'll do anything, isn't that obvious?

Giving the woman in front of you a once over, your frown deepened. Is it because you're not pretty enough? That thought made your little dark heart crack inside your chest, feeling yourself deflate.

"Yes, yes he did. So please, don't hurt me."

You snapped out from your self degrading thoughts and glanced at the woman who is now has her hands clasped together as she plead for mercy. No ounce of pity can be seen on your face nor feel in your heart as you stare down at her. Deciding to end your fun early for the day, you slipped the gun back to its holster and grab your coat from the small couch behind you.

"I won't kill you." A pause. "But a friend of mine will." With that you made your way to the front door, ignoring the panic look in her eyes.

"What do you mean?!"

You're sick in the head and you know it, some people might get a hint or two but you don't care as long as they shut their mouths. You'll only care if it's Bucky, if he find out about little adventures in the dark and how unstable you really are.

You'd be heartbroken if he did, surely he won't look at you the same if he did.

You've lost your sense of morality and empathy for others the moment you saw him killed that man in front of you as the winter soldier. The look in his eyes that night still sents shivers down your spine and warmth in your core. You're too far gone that no one else matters other than him, not even those poor innocent lives.

As soon as you hopped on your bike, a loud explosion and a shrilling scream emits from within the house you were in just a few moments ago.

You smirk to yourself as your bike roars to life before driving away from the quiet neighborhood, feeling proud of yourself for not getting your hands dirty this time.

▪

You walked back inside the tower with a gloomy look on your face, still can't get over the fact that Bucky can't see you like the way you saw him - someone precious.

Sometimes, you just really need to take matters into your own hands. So you've made up your mind and started to think of a plan on how to tell him your feelings, and to make him accept that he's actually in love with you all this time; show him what he really feels. And you won't take 'no' for an answer.

The tower is conveniently empty considering most of the team are on the two week long mission just after the party. It'll be great. It'll be a dream come true.

"Morning, doll. Where were you?" A familiar voice asked and immediately, the gloom look you carry morphs into a giddy grin as your heart starts to beat fast against your chest.

In the kitchen stood Bucky, a cup of tea in his hand and a sandwich in the other while he stare at you with an odd look on his face.

He's not wearing anything but a pair of sweatpants. You gulped, realizing that it's the same dark gray sweatpants you've buried your nose into two days ago, rubbing it between your thighs until you've come undone imagining it was him instead, before sneaking back inside his room to put it back inside his drawer.

You shake your head and lifted up your hand, showing him the brown paper bag with the logo of your favorite bakery shop. "Just hang out with a friend."

His eyebrows furrowed. "A friend? That Josh guy again?" Before taking a bite of his sandwich and settling the cup on the counter next to him.

You grimace at the mention of the guy's name, placing the paper bag on the counter as well. "Josh was not my friend and he died a month ago remember? Got in a car crash just after our high school reunion the same night."

You don't really care about the guy, he'd broken hearts more than he can count - which is less than thirteen from what you recalled.

Bucky nodded his head in understatement, a neutral look on his face. "I remember, the guy's a douche, he deserved much worse."

To most people it'll probably real scary to hear such things coming out from a hero's mouth, but it made you feel the opposite. It made you look at him like he hung the moon. You bit your lip to prevent the smile from showing and coughed in you fist, pointing at the tea next to him.

"Gonna drink that?" Oh god, I hope you did.

Bucky raises an eyebrow and look at the small cup, seems to be contemplating about something as he stares at it for a good few seconds before his eyes lits up. "Want me to add some honey? It'll taste better."

You shrugged your shoulders, acting nonchantly but in the inside, you're freaking fangirling. "Sure."

Sitting yourself on top of the counter, you started to quietly hum to yourself while you let your head floats somewhere else. Did anyone found the body yet? You're kind of disappointed you're not there when it happened, must be fun killing the woman yourself instead of a small bomb.

"Here you go, darling." Your heart just skips a beat right there, feeling your whole body jolt in happiness. After Bucky gave you the cup, he silently watched you took a sip, a small dark smile playing on his lips but you're too busy thinking about the weird aftertaste of the tea to notice it.

"You sure it's honey? It taste... kinda off." You started to feel yourself getting drowsy, glaring at the half filled cup in your hands. A sudden pain was felt in your chest accidentally letting the cup go. It falsl down to the tiled floor, shattering it to pieces.

"(Y/n), are you okay?" Bucky asked with no hint of concern in his voice whatsoever, the smirk evident on his lips. He just stands there, his arms crossed over his chest as he casually leaned his hips on the counter.

You looked at him with wide eyes. "Y-You--"

Bucky cuts you off with a nonchalant shrug, giving you a boyish grin. "Saw an opportunity; had to take it."

Before you could utter anything else, your eyes rolled at the back of your head as you fall onto your back on top of the counter; unconscious.

He won't deny it, you look so good sprawled on the counter like this. Bucky sigh in disappointment, only if you're conscious and willing, he would've fuck you on the counter-- or any surface really--, show you how much he loves you; how much he cares.

But he know you don't feel the same way after observing you this past week, you've been out and about every early morning and sometimes on ungodly hour at night.

"If only you feel the same way, I wouldn't have to do this."

▪

You woke up with a pained groan, your wrist are tied up to the arms of the chair. Your head is still pounding but thankfully, the chest pain had subsided. Then you remembered Bucky, the tea, heart dropping at the memory.

"You're finally awake, I was started to get worried." You heard the voice of Bucky from somewhere in the dark room, eyes flittering around to find the source of the voice, but no avail.

"Bucky? What's going on?" You asked, a bit scared but also a small bit of hope blooming in your chest.

"I did what I had to do." Bucky watched you squirm from where he sat on a small couch in front of you, eyes going up and down your body before it focuses on your eyes.

"W-What?" You stutter out.

Here goes nothing, Bucky thought to himself, sighing. "(Y/n), you're the most beautiful woman I have ever met in my entire life. The moment I saw you after killing that old man on the rooftop as the winter soldier, I just knew I had to make you mine."

You pull your lips into a tight line as you silently listened.

"but I know you don't feel the same way so I decided to take you by force; drugged you while you're to busy thinking about some other men," he practically growls out, falling his metal fist on his lap. He heard you gasped and felt his heart clench, thinking that you're disgusted but he chose to continue, this time more possessive and controlling.

"You're mine, (Y/n), you hear me? You're fucking mine and no one else's. I don't care if you don't want me; I want you." He stands up, stalking towards your frozen body.

He huffed. "Don't try escaping or call the police, it's not use, we're far off from the nearest civilization and there's little to no signal in this area. You can't run away from me, doll. I will follow you wherever you will go. I will find you and I will never ever let you go."

Tears started to roll down your face, looking up at him with a small pout on your lips and your face flushed. "Really?"

With a cute face like that-- "Yes. There's no escaping me, doll."

"I'm so happy," you sob. Your heart is bursting at the seams at his declaration, wanting to just get pull from the restraints and hug him tightly.

Bucky took a double take, stopping in his tracks. Truth to be told, he expected you to scream bloody murder - feel afraid, although he doesn't like that one bit, it's the most... appropriate thing to feel at this moment even for him.

"What?" He clap his hands together two times and the lights suddenly turns on, blinding you for a second before resume on crying in happiness.

"I-- you were -- Bucky!" You started to hiccup, blubbering out incoherent words.

Bucky started to panic, running over towards you and gently cupping your cheeks with his large palms. "Hey-hey, baby, shh. I'm here, don't cry. What's wrong?"

Worry flashing in his eyes as he tugs on the restraints, it's not even that tight in the first place but he can't just untie you. You could attack him any moment, he needs to know if he could trust you first - but oh how he aches to tear the ropes away and cuddle you close until you calm down.

You started to calm down, leaning in to his touch. "Y-You love me?" You asked, sounding so hopeful and soft.

He cooed, wiping a stray tear from your cheek. "Oh honey, of course I do. I wouldn't do all this if I don't."

It's true, he wouldn't have bought a house in the middle of a forest if he didn't love you and want you all by himself. He wouldn't have killed Josh and the two others if he didn't. He wouldn't have been thinking about you 24/7, planning -- daydreaming-- on showing you how much you meant to him. He wouldn't have put the chip in your arm to know where you are and what are you doing. It's all for love.

"I love you too."

Wait-- "What?" He asked, dumbfounded before burrowing his eyebrows. He knows how you're good at acting, he saw how you manipulated the enemy agents that one mission, for all he know you're doing it to him right now. "I don't like being lied to, (Y/n)."

You widen your eyes. "I'm not lying, Bucky. I have been for years now."

He growls, not liking the way he just wants to give in and pull you closer against him this instance. "What about those men? You going out in the middle of the night or waking up at ungodly hour just to "buy some snacks"."

Bucky felt his blood started to boil. How dare try this shit to him?

You shyly look to the side. "There's no other men... I went to--" you trailed off with a quiet voice that even the super soldier in front of you can't hear.

"Speak up, (Y/n)," he orders, gently yet firmly tilting your chin up to look at him in the eyes.

You sighed. "I hate it when you flirt back with other women."

"What does it have to do with you going out in the middle of the night?"

"I'm... a murderer, Bucky. I know it's bad and the world sees me as a hero but I can't help it, they're taking you away from me," you hissed out. "So I killed them all before they could even attempt a second chance, because you are meant for me, Bucky."

Bucky's breath hitched at the venom in your voice as you admit on killing the women that tries to flirt with him, all of it just because you're jealous - and startlingly, he loves every second of it.

"I was about to do the same. I was planning on taking you away while you're sleeping but you beat me to it." You chuckled, tears already dried up as you gestured towards your bound wrists.

His eyes flickered to your wrist then back up to your eyes. "Why?" He still asked despite knowing what the answer is, he just wants to hear it coming from your kissable lips that he loves so much; wanting to know the taste of.

You gave him a genuine smile. "Because I love you and if I can't have you, no one can."

Bucky swings his eyes between yours, searching for any signs of deception and trickery but all he found was sincerity and love. You're looking at him like he's the only person in the whole world, and it's making him melt at the spot. Never once had someone look at him like that and he doubt he don't look the same.

"I love you too," Bucky breathes out before smashing his lips against yours. You moaned and was about to lift up your hands to tug on his hair but was stopped by the ropes, preventing you from doing so.

"Bucky?"

"Yes, baby?" He murmurs, pressing heated kisses on your jaw and down to your neck. You mewled when he softly bit that soft spot on your neck, craning your head to the side to give him more access.

"The ropes, please. I want to touch you."

You let out a small whine when he stops, leaning back to look down on the ropes before smirking, shaking his head from side to side. An side suddenly popped in his mind.

"Not yet, baby girl."

He stands up straight with his hands propped on his hips, his crotch at your eye level. You could see the prominent bulge in his pants and can't help but lick your lips. The action didn't go unnoticed by the former winter soldier making his smirk broadens.

"Can you be a good girl for me, (Y/n)?"

You peered up at him through your lashes and said in the most sultry of voices, pulling a groan from Bucky's lips.

"Yes, Daddy."

Yup, I need to rest.

*more to come*

[thegeminisage]

we were robbed: the morgana & arthur edition

i have a well-worded and very-thought-out meta about this brewing in me but i don’t have time for all that so have this instead (spoilers obviously):

arthur & morgana didn’t know they were brother and sister but in actuality they would have GROWN UP like brother and sister because (though we don’t have any ages) it’s implied that morgana came to uther quite young

season 1 has them acting all flirty with a touch of antagonism but if they had had their shit together from the start there would have been nothing but (somewhat loving) antagonism from the get-go

a nice thing to have done would have been for someone to suggest arthur/morgana and for them both to look genuinely disgusted (”he’s like my BROTHER”/”she’s like my SISTER”) instead of “i’m pretending to be disgusted but secretly i’d hit it” because it would have been really funny come season 3 when the reveal came thru

here’s the thing about siblings, particularly when there are only just the two of you and you’re very close in age: siblings know you better than anyone. if you grow up with someone they have been witness to all of your weird obsessions and awkward phases and stupid crushes and bad ideas. they are often the only playmate of your age and so you spend 100% of your time together whether you like it or not. you learn to tolerate them and vice versa. you know what will make them happy. you know what will piss them off. there is no one you hate more than your sibling. there is no one you love more than your sibling. no one else on earth can make you so angry or so happy. they are your partner in crime and/or the one framing you for murder. they will help you bury a body and mock you mercilessly for it for the rest of time. siblings are your life companion until one of you becomes an adult. in a perfect world, nobody would have ever, ever, EVER understood arthur and morgana as well as they understood each other - absolutely no one else on earth can comprehend what it’s like to grow up where you grew up with the parents that you had except someone who did it with you

AND THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I WANTED FOR ARTHUR AND MORGANA

imagine a canon where when morgana says in season 1 that SHE ALONE can convince arthur to defy their father and get him to do (whatever dumb thing - kill the afanc, find the morteus flower, etc) it’s not because of her Womanly Wiles it’s because she grew up with this IDIOT and she knows him better than he knows himself

imagine a canon where arthur and morgana’s relationship more closely resembles merlin and arthur’s just for the SHEER AMOUNT of insults traded - and morgana hardly has to mind her tongue the way merlin sometimes does because she and arthur are nearly of equal station

shooting each other rude looks behind uther’s back at dinner, absolutely roasting people at court under their breath, roasting each OTHER under their breath, scheming to get away with mad plots right under uther’s nose, tattling on each other when one of them was holding a grudge, alternatively arch-enemies and thick as thieves, that’s SIBLINGHOOD, babey. like this except if morgana wasn’t lying

you know what i think? if morgana and arthur had been written as proper siblings, arthur would have been one of the first people morgana confessed the truth about her magic to. yes sometimes it’s hard to tell people close to you about that shit, but we didn’t see morgana so much as CONSIDER telling arthur the truth in canon. arthur, as morgana’s adoptive-not-adoptive brother, would be one of the most important people in her life (and vice versa). if magic = gay, there’s no way she wouldn’t asking probing questions such as “so hypothetically if you found out someone you loved had magic what would you do” (more subtle than that because she’s not merlin but you get the idea - that’s what the gays do with our straight siblings. we test for homophobia.)

like if arthur had come for her when he thought the druids kidnapped her because he was actually as distraught and worried as uther was and she, instead of freaking out and fleeing, begged him to cover for her because she wanted to stay - THAT’S WHAT SIBLINGS DO. they ask impossibly hard shit of each other and then they owe one another favors for the rest of their lives. morgana and arthur should have been RIDE OR DIE for each other. that arthur would have fucking covered for her or at least been really torn about it and really fucked up that he didn’t, if he chose not to

i would have loved to see arthur struggle more with the fact that was not only morgana his biological sister but she was magical - and yeah he didn’t find out until morgana had turned ~evil~ but THAT IS WHAT WE WERE ROBBED OF

as a matter of fact arthur only gets about 5 total minutes of screentime in the same frame as morgana AT BEST! after she pulls off the sister & magic reveals but in every bit of it he is fucking HEARTBROKEN. arthur’s more fucked up about morgana than merlin is and it’s merlin’s stupid fault she went darkside to begin with

look at the tears in her eyes. he’s so sad to see her like this. he calls her MY LADY even when she’s trying to murder them all. arthur grew up with morgana. arthur must have loved her SO MUCH. she would without a doubt be someone he considered his immediate family. there’s a million and one fanfics about arthur changing his mind about magic after he discovers someone he loves (merlin) would be killed for having it, but almost none of them deal with how arthur would take the revelation that morgana, his sister in all but name (at least until he finds out she’s actually his biological sister too), has magic, and would have to be put to death according to the law

like. ok. he sent merlin out of town when merlin was facing execution over something as simple as STEALING in 2.06, he helped mordred escape the chopping block in 1.08, he pled gwen’s case in 1.03 when he thought she was a sorceress for real, do we really think he wouldn’t have fought for morgana? 

moving on: morgana died nearly right in front of arthur and we get 0 emotional reaction from him - typical. granted he was also dying, but a word exchanged about how the pendragon line ended with the two of them on the same day would not have gone amiss.

think of the PARALLELS - they both died from a sword forged in a dragon’s breath, when their father was the one who drove the dragons to extinction

LIKE: morgana wanting arthur to lift the ban on magic SO BADLY yet being the reason arthur remains convinced he can’t - because he watched his bright sweet compassionate and brave sister become someone cold and ruthless - watched her pain morph her into someone not unlike uther, who also used his pain as an excuse to kill people

arthur wanting morgana to stop her crusade EQUALLY badly but HE’S the reason she remains convinced she can’t do that EITHER because he still won’t lift the fucking ban

(AND LET US NEVER FORGET THAT THEY BOTH HAVE THAT FIREBRAND PENDRAGON RAGE - when arthur gets mad he gets GOOD and mad - both of them tried to kill uther, both of them at one point attempted to or actually did disown him once they were able to fully comprehend the extent of his crimes)

their reconciliation could have been so good. morgana insisting that magic didn’t make her this way, people did - people like arthur and uther. as good as arthur’s moment at the druid shrine in 4.10 was, that same moment and emotion should have gone to morgana in late season 4 or 5 (preferably while she was beating his face in with him making no effort to stop her winter soldier style lmao)

man ok arthur and merlin’s grand tragic not-quite-romance was good and fucked up and i love it to death, but SIBLING RELATIONSHIPS are so fucking powerful. they’re messy and difficult but most of all they’re ENDURING because you just can’t pick your family

and they had such a good character and good relationship RIGHT THERE with morgana and they WASTED all of their potential

thats ALL IM SAYING. ok. thank u and goodnight

[mxliv-oftheendless]

Twist of Fate, Chapter 12

IT’S THE LAST CHAPTER, YOU GUYS!!! Oh man, this has been such an amazing ride. I loved writing this story, and I love that people enjoyed reading it! And if you’re wondering what’s going to happen with these two, don’t worry: Shandi and I have plans for these two lol. For the last time, shout-out to @cosmicrealmofkissteria and @tanookiroxx for loving this story the entire way through. And now, without further ado, enjoy the last chapter!!

In which the three weeks come to an end, and Starchild thinks about the future.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

When Starchild awoke the next morning, he sleepily recalled the events of the night before. But this time, rather than gaze up at the ceiling in horror, he simply smiled and rolled over to reach his arm out, sleepily desiring to locate where the other person in his bed was so he could snuggle closer.

But when he flung his arm out to find him, all his hand grabbed onto was empty blankets. “Hm?” He opened his eyes in confusion and looked at the other side of his bed. All he saw was an empty space. The blanket looked like it had been pushed back, but Tomaziel was gone.

Starchild sighed and propped himself up to rub a hand over his face. He felt rather disappointed Tomaziel had left before he woke up; after such a wonderful night, he’d been hoping to see more of him.

But there was no sense in feeling too sad about it. Perhaps Tomaziel had left early so people wouldn’t see him coming out of Starchild’s chambers; he could understand that. Everyone always seemed so eager to find something involving him and his life that could be a potential scandal. And the last thing he wanted was Tomaziel to be dragged into one.

There was a sudden knock at his door, and despite his disappointment he answered anyway. “Who is it?”

“It is Tomaziel, Prince Starchild. May I come in?”

Starchild’s heart fluttered and a smile flashed across his face. “Come in,”

The door opened and Tomaziel entered, treading carefully as he carried in a tray that had plates and a pot of tea. He nudged the door closed and smiled. “Good morning. Did you sleep well?”

“I did. And you?”

Tomaziel smiled. “Very well.” Starchild’s heart fluttered again as he displayed the tray. “I have breakfast.”

That was where he was? “You did not have to get me breakfast. I could have gotten it for myself.”

“Well, I wanted to get it for you. This, er, is also my breakfast. I got it for the both of us.”

Starchild blinked at him as what he said sank in. “You… got us breakfast?” His heart began to pound.

“Yes, I did.” Tomaziel noticed the unreadable look Starchild had on his face and frowned slightly. “Why, did you not want to stay in your room, or—”

“No, it’s not that. It’s just… Usually I am the one doing that. I was thinking I would do it this morning, actually.”

“Oh…” Tomaziel smiled at him. “Well, pardon me, but I beat you to it.”

Starchild laughed as he set down the tray and sat back down on the bed. “Damn, it seems you did. I’ll beat you to it next time.”

“Keep dreaming,” Tomaziel grinned. “I’m an early riser.”

Starchild scoffed in mock offense. “Well, challenge accepted, sir. What do I get if I win?”

“The bragging rights,” Tomaziel said with a laugh as they shifted to start eating breakfast. “And the satisfaction of knowing you woke up earlier than me.”

“Hmm…” Starchild’s smile was fixed to his face as he pretended to think, then shook his head. “No, not good enough. I might be waking up at some ungodly early hour to beat you.”

Tomaziel rolled his eyes playfully. “Fair enough. How about… a kiss from a handsome gentleman?”

For some reason, Starchild’s stomach did a flip before he answered. “That depends… Who is this handsome gentleman?”

Tomaziel cupped his cheek and leaned in, and Starchild was able to close his eyes in time for him to give him a kiss. It was long, drawn out, and so smooth and romantic that Starchild felt his heart melt. Where did Tomaziel learn to kiss like this… and why hadn’t he done this sooner?

When he pulled away, it took Starchild a moment to open his eyes and look back at him. They were still so close. “Is that good enough?” Tomaziel asked softly.

He hummed and slowly smiled. “Definitely…” he suddenly felt the urge to giggle and did so, poking Tomaziel’s side, “handsome gentleman.”

The Jendellian jerked back with a snigger. “Oh, hush. They were the first words I thought of.”

“Fine, if you say so… handsome gentleman.”

“I will bring this tray back to the kitchens,”

“Will you? Really?”

“What makes you think I won’t?”

Starchild smiled innocently at him and batted his eyelashes. “Because you like me very much,”

Tomaziel stared at him for a moment, then smiled and laughed. “I suppose that’s true,”

-JENDELL-

Sadly, although Starchild had two days of leisure time ahead of him, Tomaziel still had work to do. Which Starchild understood and didn’t mind, but he still felt slightly disappointed. He made a mental note for whenever he saw Tomaziel again to get both their schedules cleared so they could spend the entire day together.

Just thinking the word “again” made him smile. He was going to see Tomaziel again; he wanted to see Tomaziel again. Funny how three weeks ago he had been content with the possibility of never being in a relationship again. He had been content and happy to love himself if no one else did. Perhaps he had to get to that point first before entering another relationship, to the point where he was happy enough and secure enough about who he was.

But even so, even if he was happy and assured about the near future… he couldn’t help wondering about what would happen in the distant future. He had been with Nikki for years, had known him for even more before that, and yet they still fell apart even though he had been happy to be with him. Even though they had been connected by a String of Fate, they still fell apart. A small part of his mind kept wondering how long it would be before something happened to interrupt the bliss, and suddenly he and Tomaziel were over and he was left heartbroken again.

Is this going to fall apart? When will this fall apart?

As chance would have it, he would get an answer that very night. He had changed into his nightclothes, turned off the lights, got into bed, and settled down to sleep. And as he slept, his dreams suddenly shifted and morphed into something else.

He was standing in the throne room, but it was bathed in sunlight and had a familiar unreal quality, a sign that he was no longer dreaming, but in the middle of a vision. By the throne was a group of people dressed in black clothing. One of them was wearing a black cape with silver stars, and when he curiously approached to see who it was, he saw that it was himself. He looked older, perhaps by a decade or even more.

The Starchild said what sounded like a dismissal, because the Council members bowed and turned to leave the throne room. Starchild was watching them leave when he heard a voice from behind. “Papa!”

Both of them turned around, and Starchild froze. Racing towards the Starchild was a little girl with black hair, brown eyes, and a cherubic little face. The Starchild next to him broke into a wide smile and knelt down to let the little girl run into his arms. He laughed as he lifted her up into the air, kissing her cheek. “What have you been up to, little monkey?”

“Nothing,” the girl giggled.

“I’m sure. Where’s your father?”

“Right here,”

All three of them turned at the voice. Starchild’s eyes widened as his mouth dropped open.

There walking towards them with a warm smile was Tomaziel. He looked older as well, but Starchild would recognize him anywhere. The Starchild and the little girl smiled happily as he approached. Tomaziel smiled at the Starchild and gave him a respectful bow, and Starchild suddenly saw something on his left ring finger—a gold ring, one that was identical to the ring he saw around his future self’s own finger.

The Starchild scoffed affectionately. “How many times have I told you—you needn’t bow to me, love.”

Tomaziel chuckled. “But you are the King,”

“And you are my husband. You don’t need to bow; I’ve told you for years now.”

Tomaziel approached with a teasing smile. “You looked so regal—I couldn’t help myself.”

Starchild could only stand there frozen as he watched the Starchild shift the little girl to his hip and smile lovingly at Tomaziel. The little girl gave a “Blech!” and hid her face in his shoulder, making the two of them laugh. Then they leaned towards each other to kiss.

As soon as their lips touched, the sunlight faded and there was a rushing sound before everything went black.

Starchild’s eyes flew open with a gasp and he bolted upright. He placed his hands on the mattress to steady himself as he breathed heavily, staring wide-eyed into the darkness. His breathing turned ragged as emotion swelled in his chest and tears started to gather in his eyes. He pressed a hand to his mouth, trying to make sense of the thoughts flying through his head.

What he had seen was clearly the future. Had he ever seen any vision that took place that far in the future before?

That was himself and Tomaziel. Married. With children. Did that mean…

Starchild fell back to gawk up at the ceiling in shock. This wouldn’t fall apart.

Later that morning, he nearly ran into Tomaziel in the hallway. He was walking in such a shocked daze, his mind unable to do anything except replay that vision over and over and over again, that he didn’t even notice Tomaziel was coming until the Jendellian exclaimed aloud.

“Oh!” Tomaziel froze just in time, automatically raising his hands, and laughed. “I’m glad I stopped just in time.”

Starchild looked up at him and then couldn’t help but gaze at him, looking at his face as though he were finally seeing it for the first time. The vision replayed again, and emotion swelled in his chest. Was he going to cry? He wanted to cry, or laugh, or both, because he was wondering with ever-growing certainty if this was it; if this was the person he was destined for; if what he saw was a future he even wanted to happen; and if he should tell Tomaziel what he had seen.

When he didn’t answer, Tomaziel looked at him with a frown of concern. “Are you all right? What’s wrong?”

In a split-second, Starchild made his choice. Whatever future that vision had foretold… he was going to forget about it. His abilities, while a gift, could lead to disaster if not used properly, and that included how he reacted to them. The future could be uncertain, visions could be misinterpreted, and any choice one made could change the future they saw. So in terms of making sure his future was the future he saw… Starchild wasn’t going to do anything. He was going to let things happen as they did. And he would tell Tomaziel what he had seen… someday. But not today.

“… Nothing.” Starchild smiled at Tomaziel and reached out to take his hand, smiling a little more when he felt the Spark at his touch. “Nothing at all.”

-JENDELL-

As the ship took off the next day, bringing them home to KISSteria, Starchild leaned back and sighed. The Elder noticed and smiled slightly at him. “So… did you enjoy the trip?”

Starchild smiled and nodded. “I did. It was wonderful. Our alliance is secure, I got to see Ace and Amalthea… and their daughter.” One of the best parts of this visit had been being able to reconcile with Ace, make amends, and simply be friends again. He hadn’t expected to enjoy Amalthea’s company as much as he had, but he did, very much.

“I think the little Princess might be an admirer of yours,”

Starchild laughed as he remembered saying goodbye to Princess Monique. She had looked incredibly disappointed to see them leave the entire time, but lit up happily when Starchild asked if she would like to visit KISSteria sometime. “I think she is. She gave me this.” He held up the red rose he was holding in his hand. “So I won’t forget her, she said.”

“How nice,” the Elder chuckled. “What about Tomaziel?”

For a moment, Starchild’s heart stopped. But only for a split-second. “And Tomaziel, you’re right. I actually told him I would write to him occasionally.”

He had to bite back a wider smile as he thought of Tomaziel. He had said goodbye to him the way he wanted to the night before, with a kiss goodbye that made Starchild’s heart flutter at the memory of it.

“Tomaziel is a very nice man,” the Elder smiled. “Intelligent, cordial… handsome too, don’t you think?”

Starchild leaned his head back and groaned, laughing. “Mother…”

“I am just asking!” the Elder defended herself. But she still had that cheeky smile, and if Starchild were to look at it hard enough, he would have seen how rather knowing it was. “I could see you getting along very well.”

“Mother, please don’t set me up with Tomaziel,” Starchild begged, smiling at her all the same. “Please?”

“I won’t,” the Elder chuckled. “I will not be so cruel, my son.”

“Thank you,”

“But if you were to eventually take that sort of interest in Tomaziel… I would not object to it. He really is a nice man.”

Starchild let himself smile. “He is, isn’t he?”

The past three weeks had been expected to be full of meetings and diplomatic functions, nothing more. The fact that Starchild had befriended, fallen for, and begun a relationship with Tomaziel was the strangest imaginable twist of fate. But he thanked the Gods it had happened. This was another chance, and he was going to take it. This was going to be different.

And Starchild was going to get it right this time.

[yamisnuffles]

The Morning After

Meant to be a short epilogue but morphed into a full chapter. The second in Get Closer To Me.

- - - - -

After they’d traded corporations successfully once, there was really no reason to do it again. They did regardless, back and forth and back again, telling themselves practice would be key to their success. Having the core of his very being brush against Aziraphale’s with every swap was like nothing Crowley had felt in Heaven and certainly nothing after. It was almost too much.

No, not almost. The moment he got back into his own body again, Crowley's legs gave way beneath him. He was surprised it had taken so looking, frankly. He felt he had ill control of them on the best of days and he'd just been through the worst. Had he been alone, he’d have let himself hit the floor, maybe sleep right there. He wasn’t alone, however, and Aziraphale would only worry and fuss if Crowley let gravity have its way with him. The angel’s lip would do that awful wobbly thing. Probably he’d break out those blessed puppy dog eyes. Really, it would be a nightmare.

So Crowley stopped himself from falling. Or tried. All in all, he was as successful as any other time he might have had a good and proper Fall. At least this time he only had to prepare for face to meet floor instead of a pool of boiling sulphur.

He fell into a pair of waiting arms. It was mortifying. Worse by far than hitting concrete head first and made even worse by the fact that, try as he might, he couldn’t get his legs to hold him up anymore. His skin burned an embarrassed streak from cheeks to neck. Aziraphale didn’t say a word, simply inserted himself under one of Crowley’s arms so the demon could at least pretend to stand under his own volition instead of by the grace of an angel.

“My dear boy, perhaps it’s time you went to sleep.”

Aziraphale looked at Crowley with the sort of tenderness that made him want to shout at his plants to regain some of his dignity. “Don’t need to ssssleep,” he said, the force of his statement undercut by the sibilance of it.

“When has that ever stopped you?”

Crowley frowned. Yes, he liked to sleep. Yes, he wanted to sleep. But he couldn’t exactly admit to that any more than he could to wanting to stay awake forever because Aziraphale was in his flat and holding him and they’d kissed. And if he went to sleep then morning would come and they’d have to part ways, perhaps forever. All without having said… something he definitely couldn’t, not even to himself. He’d done that too many times already, as a curse and a prayer. He couldn’t bear it when he might actually get an answer.

Instead of any of that, he said, “I’m fine, angel. Just drop me over on the couch for a bit and I’ll be back up before you can say tickety boo.”

Aziraphale ignored the toothless teasing. He eyed the couch in question and then looked back at Crowley. “No, I don’t think so.” They stared at each other in a silent battle of wills. Aziraphale blinked first. “What would it take you to go to bed?”

Bargaining. Crowley could work with bargaining. It was often the first step to any simple temptation. Having done his own share over the years, Aziraphale had to know that. Crowley considered his options. He could ask for anything. He could-

“Come with me.”

Crowley wasn’t sure what had made him say it. Some demonic instinct to tempt an angel. Exhaustion. Six thousand years of pent up desire. The sort of impulsiveness that led to driving into a wall of fire. Whatever it was, there was no taking it back.

Before Aziraphale could so much as open his mouth, Crowley let out a rush of words that was supposed to be something along the lines of, ‘Not like that’ and instead came out as a confusing, half-choked garble. He swallowed and tried again. “I mean… if you’d like.” Always on Aziraphale’s terms, at his speed. “Stretch out your legs. Lay down. You’ve been through a lot yourself, between being discorporated and possessing a human and breaking in a new body.”

Crowley held his useless breath. Someone help him, he didn’t want to be alone. He didn’t want to get back to thinking of a world without Aziraphale and that was far easier to do when he kept the angel in sight. He thought he did a good job of keeping the desperation out of his voice but Aziraphale still gave him a distinct look.

“Very well.” Aziraphale was strong enough to hold Crowley upright as they walked without it looking like that’s what he was doing. Crowley appreciated it, even if they both knew it was a lie. He certainly couldn’t have walked anyway, with the direction their feet were taking them.  “I don’t suppose you have anything decent to read? Ah, no matter. I’ll just miracle a book over from-”

Aziraphale stopped so suddenly that Crowley- unprepared to walk on his own- nearly fell flat. He stopped from snapping at the angel when he saw Aziraphale’s stricken expression. “Oh, er, I… I stole a few of your favorites a while back. Stashed ‘em away in my bedside table. Figured it was the last place you’d look.”

There were, in fact, a few first editions now safely tucked into one of Crowley’s ebony nightstands. He didn’t even know where he’d pulled them from, was too tired to care. Probably some poor fool would find their own collection smaller in the morning. Possibly he’d willed them from memory of which Aziraphale held most dear and so they’d be imperfect beyond their earnest desire to please. They certainly weren’t Aziraphale’s and hadn’t been there at all until Crowley said they were. Likely Aziraphale knew that as well as Crowley knew the angel was the only thing keeping him standing. Still, tears gathered in Aziraphale’s eyes.

“You wily old serpent, I should have known,” he replied, playing along with the lie in a voice that said thank you, thank you, thank you.

Crowley stared dead ahead. Aziraphale’s help or not, he was liable to be struck down if he caught sight of Aziraphale’s heartbroken gratitude. “Yeah, you found me out. Guess it would only be fair for you to take them back.”

Aziraphale made a noise that fell halfway between laughter and a sob. They continued the rest of the way in silence to maintain the fragile threads that held them each together. When they reached the bedroom, Aziraphale sat at the edge of the bed, bringing Crowley down with him. For a time, they just sat there. Aziraphale squirmed, clearly unsure of himself, while Crowley tried to gather himself enough to sleep in a sensible matter. He’d have happily passed out as he was but he suspected Aziraphale would tut at him for sleeping in a fully clothed heap. As if the angel actually knew anything on the matter.

He kicked off his boots, sending them in different directions across the room. Aziraphale, meanwhile, toed his off gently and peeled off his socks with similar care. He’d finished removing his coat and folding it neatly over the back of a chair by the time Crowley realized he was staring. Crowley quickly busied himself with removing his own coat. He hesitated a moment, then removed his vest and belt as well. He stopped at his shirt and trousers. That seemed acceptable. Right? Not too much? Or too… little?

He turned to apologize- for what, he wasn’t sure- only to see Aziraphale hadn’t even noticed. The angel was facing the other way and had one of the promised first editions in hand. He was so still that Crowley thought he’d already lost himself reading. Crowley smiled fondly until he saw a tear fall. His heart wrenched. He thought he should say something comforting but what could he say? He edged carefully closer and pushed past years of holding back to put a hand on Aziraphale’s back.

The angel’s shoulders heaved with a silent sob. “I’m being foolish. I’m sorry. They’re all just… just things,” he said in a voice that was high and choked. “I can always build a new shop.”

Crowley snorted and then winced at the sound, realizing it must come off as uncaring. It wasn’t Aziraphale he was scoffing at. It was the idea. “Might as well tell me to buy a new Bentley. Wouldn’t be the same. Wouldn’t be your home.” My home too, more than this place ever was. “You’re allowed to grieve it, angel. Who’s gonna judge you? Heaven? Stuff that lot. Which just leaves you with me and it’s not really a demon’s place to get high and mighty over anything.”

Aziraphale let out a watery laugh. Then, in a blink, the angel was embracing him. Crowley was too stunned to do anything with his arms until Aziraphale started to cry in earnest. He returned the embrace, as tight as he could, as tight as he dared.

In one day, the angel had lost both Heaven and the bookshop. Having Fallen, Crowley could understand what Aziraphale was going through, though he didn’t dare say any such thing. The last thing he wanted was for Aziraphale to consider anything of the sort. So he closed his eyes and thought only of how much he loved Aziraphale. He let himself think the word again in hopes that Aziraphale could feel it. Maybe demons weren’t supposed to be able to love but Crowley knew he loved Aziraphale with more certainty than anything else. Aziraphale was light and warmth and everything else he wasn’t supposed to have. He was every star Crowley had ever molded from the firmament and the demon could only pray that the angel felt even a fraction of that.

After a time like that, Aziraphale’s tears came to a stop at last. They’d soaked through Crowley’s shirt so that he could feel them on his skin. How was it they didn’t destroy him? They were holier and more precious than even the holiest of water. Crowley was filled to the brim by that sorrowful benediction.

Crowley had never lived anywhere that felt like home. He’d felt something close in the heavens. Not Heaven, capital ‘H’- certainly not- but adrift amongst the stars and nebulae he helped create he’d felt something close. Nothing had neared it since he was cast out. He’d settled various places over the years, sure. It was impossible to stay anywhere for a length of time without doing so, especially when you were as fond as he was of sleeping. However, no matter how long he stayed in any one place, it never felt like anything more than a place to kick up his feet after work. 

Aziraphale, though, Aziraphale was something different. 

Too tired and too blissful to give a damn about appearances, Crowley nuzzled into Aziraphale’s neck. He pressed his nose to flesh and breathed deep. This new body that Adam had granted should have only held the crisp, clean scent of an angel, all open air and ozone. The young antichrist had done a thorough job of it, though, and so Aziraphale smelled like those things but also like old books and cocoa and the world’s first rain. Like home.

Crowley didn’t know when he fell asleep after that. He hoped this wasn’t going to become some sort of thing for him. He had more than enough to contend with after resigning in the most dramatic fashion possible, he didn’t need to go passing out at random on top of everything. Sure, he liked sleep but like everything else in his life, he preferred it on his own terms. He could only hope it was an aberration, brought about by the longest day in history. And he should know, having lived through them all. If ever there had been a time for exhaustion to get the better of him, last night had been it. Sleep or not, he was still exhausted to his core.

All the same, he was certain there was a reason he hadn’t wanted to sleep. He dug into his weary,  muddled memory, to the averted apocalypse and the bus ride after. Warmth flickered in his chest at the memory of hand on hand and leg against leg. That same heat flared and spread through his body at kisses that still haunted his lips. It melted him, made him boneless and awed, when at last he remembered the brush of angelic to demonic essence as bodies were swapped and tested.

The only thing he really remembered after that was the persistent desire to be awake, to not miss a moment more to sleep. Slowly, slowly his dead tired body gave way to his soul’s desire. His eyelids gradually drew back.  His field of vision was drowned in soft, sacred white. For a brief, delirious moment he thought he was back in Heaven. It was more than enough to wake him fully.

It wasn’t Heaven. It was something much better- Aziraphale.

Crowley’s head was pillowed on one of his arms and his face was buried in Aziraphale’s hair. He forced his body to relax. Every bit of him had tensed instinctively against imagined danger and he didn’t want to wake Aziraphale because of it. The angel was still sleeping peacefully. Gentle, steady puffs of breath lightly buffeted Crowley’s chest. For all Crowley knew, it was the first time Aziraphale had ever slept, having never taken to it the way the demon had. Whatever his reason for finally partaking- whether to give Crowley company or because he had a new body to adjust to- Crowley wasn’t about to be the reason he woke up.

Not that his reasoning was so soppy and sentimental. It had nothing at all to do with the way it felt to lie in each other’s arms, legs a hopeless tangle and sheets a mixture of their scents. No he was being selfish and encouraging sloth in the angel. Proper demonic activity, when you really thought about it, and hell wasn’t even paying him for it anymore.

The first blush of dawn was gilded as the slow rise of the sun heralded the start of a new day, a day Crowley had never expected to see. Particularly not like this, with Aziraphale so close instead of unreachable, buried in ash and flame. Crowley’s heart constricted so painfully, he could only ease the feeling by letting the rest of his body follow suit. Despite the risk of waking Aziraphale, he let his winding, sinuous limbs tighten around the angel. There was no mistaking that Aziraphale was there, soft and sturdy and there.

Aziraphale mumbled something unintelligible but unmistakably happy. The fingers of one hand dug into the fabric of Crowley’s shirt and the other wound further around the demon’s back. They were so thoroughly entangled now that Crowley wondered vaguely if some boundary had been erased when they practiced swapping bodies, if some part of each had been left in the other and hungered to get back to where it belonged. He hadn’t thought it possible to find himself more in love with Aziraphale after so long, so he wouldn’t have questioned it if he found out part of his heart now literally beat in the angel’s chest. 

Aziraphale curled inward before indulging in what might well have been history’s most luxuriously languid stretch. Arms and legs found their way back to their owners and space yawned between them. Crowley longed to grab Aziraphale and fold their bodies together once more but did nothing to inhibit the angel; he never had and never would. Instead, he watched with a soft smile as Aziraphale stretched out each of his toes and arched his back to relieve stiff muscles.

Aziraphale had never looked more divine. The golden dawn light caught in his curls, creating a halo that would have made any in Heaven jealous. Crowley couldn’t look away no matter how much he didn’t want to be caught staring.

“Morning, angel,” he murmured as blue eyes slowly appeared from under heavy lids.

Aziraphale smacked his lips sleepily. “Is it already?” he asked, voice a bit rough with sleep. “I didn’t mean to fall asleep.”

“Join the club. I figured you’d gone and knocked me out again.”

Aziraphale made a small scoffing noise, as though he'd never, as though he hadn't already not so looking ago. "I wouldn't," he said,  "though you clearly needed the rest. You all but collapsed after our last switch.”

“Did I?” he said as casually as he could manage given how much he disliked the thought of being seen in such a vulnerable state. “Don’t actually remember much clearly after we proved your little theory.”

“You wouldn’t. I’m still surprised you kept your feet. Then again, I’m often surprised you stay upright, the way you walk.” And Crowley didn’t miss the subtle blush that bloomed when Aziraphale said that. “You never listen to reason.”

“Naturally.”

“Quite. And then we… oh dear, I don’t remember exactly how we ended up like this.” Aziraphale scrunched up his nose in thought. "Is sleep always so… disorienting?"

“Can be.” Crowley stretched, making a long, lean line of himself before curling back in. One of Aziraphale’s hands was in reach and he brushed the pads of the upturned fingers softly. “S’nothing to worry about, really.”

“I’m not worried. Not about that, anyway. But we need our wits about us today.”

Crowley frowned slightly. He wriggled closer so that he could run trails along Aziraphale’s arm with his spindly fingers. Aziraphale was right- of course he was- but Crowley didn’t want all that invading the nice, peaceful bubble they were in at the moment. This right here and everything that led to it was still impossibly fragile. It was new in a way that little in the world was after six thousand years. He was terrified of doing anything to shatter it and it seemed inevitable that he would. He had a history of ruining good things, was arguably the ruiner of good things, at least on Earth.

The memory of Aziraphale on the edge of tears, the reality of the fire at the bookshop finally hitting him, came unbidden to Crowley’s mind. He pushed past that so that he wouldn’t drown in it. He’d do better for Aziraphale. “You know you’re smarter than Heaven and Hell combined. The plan is going to work.” He let his fingers dance back up Aziraphale’s arm, let the casualness of the motion cover the jittering in his heart. “And if it doesn’t, there’s always Alpha Centauri.”

Aziraphale chuckled weakly. “That there is. It’s just… well, it’s-” He swept his hand in a vague gesture at the two of them, carefully not to dislodge Crowley’s fingers from his arm as he did. “This. Us. I’ve spent an awful amount of time not letting myself believe any of this was possible, no matter how terribly I wanted it. To lose this, too, after everything, I’m not certain I could bear it. In fact, I’m rather sure I could not.”

Crowley moved closer and buried his face in a cloud of curls to save himself from the way his skin set on fire at those words. He was tempted to pinch himself. He’d heard that was something humans did to convince themselves they weren’t dreaming.

He nosed through a downy tangle of blond to press his lips to the crown of Aziraphale’s head. Another followed at the angel’s temple, the round apple of his cheek, the upturned tip of his nose, and finally, on his lips. Aziraphale let a soft, relieved sigh pass into Crowley’s mouth. Crowley swallowed it and pulled away before he gave into the temptation to see what other little noises he could draw out.

“Stupid angel,” he said, with affection on his tongue and in his eyes, “told you last night, nothing was gonna keep me from you. I’ll fight God Herself if I have to. Done it for less already.”

“Crowley,” Aziraphale gasped, trying to sound scandalized but landing somewhere deeply fond instead. He extended his hand. “Well then, I’m ready.”

I’m not. Not ready. Never will be, if it means getting up and going our separate ways.

Crowley let bluster cover him and smiled wide. He took Aziraphale’s hand. “They won’t know what hit ‘em.”

[somethinginthethunder]

Temporary Love [Gwilym Lee x Reader]

:oo I’m back with another fic lmao. I might be less active this month and next month because I have school admissions, work, and my classes are just kicking me in the ass right now. I’m also not creative so I don’t have a lot of good fic ideas at the moment. This reminds me! If you want to request song fics, go ahead!

Summary: You’ve been burned one too many times, so Gwilym tries to heal you.

TW: none

Word Count:  1,827 words

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the lyrics. They all belong to Ben Platt, Ben Abraham, and Johnny Price

-

You're afraid to meet someone 'Cause you've been burned, you've been burned, you've been burned Love is good until it's gone That's what you learned, what you've learned, what you've learned

You adjusted the curls on the man’s head, brushing them forward so they fell over his shoulders. If you were being honest, curls weren’t a bad look for him.

“Tilt your head down a little,” you ordered quietly. 

Gwilym obliged, his head of curls falling with him as you fiddled with the back.

“Right, done,” you finished.

The tall man lifted his head and met his eyes with yours. You were his stylist, meaning you saw each other often. This developed a sort of acquaintance between the two of you. You talked and chatted, sharing information and joking around every so often. But you weren’t exactly friends.

“Thanks,” he grinned.

“You’re welcome,” you returned.

You turned your body halfway to reach for your phone to check the time. Once you did, Gwilym cleared his throat.

“Yes?” you asked, glancing up at him again.

“I... was wondering if you’d like to maybe hang out somewhere sometime. You know, just the two of us?” he offered.

This caught you off guard. You never would’ve thought someone like him would have an interest in you. You wanted to say yes, immediately. But the memories of your past boyfriend and dates returned in your mind, making your eyes darken slightly.

“That’s sweet, really. I just,” you started, hesitating. “I don’t know.”

“What do you mean?” he asked curiously. It wasn’t in an angry tone. Not even close, and for some reason, that fact relieved you.

“I’ve just had bad experiences with dates and... boyfriends, you know?” you explained, fiddling with your phone still in your hands.

“Oh, I understand.” A beat passed. “Well, I’ll let you think about it, okay? Just,” he paused to grab a pen from the desk and rip a piece of paper from his script, scribbling down his number. “Text or call me your answer, alright?” He finished the statement with a kind smile.

“Alright,” you nodded, taking the paper from him.

Honestly, you didn’t think you’d go. The mental scars from your past relationships seemed to remind you of what could happen. But it’s just one date, right?

You let yourself go to the date.

And eventually, that one date turned into a few more. And then more. And then a lot.

You don't have to hide your love away and I know that I'm gonna make mistakes, but Leaning on somebody isn't easy I'll do what I can to make you see that

You were both sat outside on the balcony, sipping your drinks as you talked. It was a small date today. That’s all it was. You had allowed yourself to hang out with him, trying to ignore the fact that you might have, in fact, been falling in love with him more and more by the second. You guys weren’t even official. You shouldn’t be feeling that.

 You figured that if you let him take you out, he’ll just change his mind on his own and it’ll stop without any harm.

You came back to reality when Gwilym gave your waist a small squeeze, his arm wrapped around you comfortingly. When he first did it, you were a little uncomfortable, but eventually, you learned to let yourself enjoy it.

“I like spending time with you. I hope you know that,” Gwilym admitted, looking down at his almost empty glass before his gaze flickered to you.

You gave him a weak smile. “I like spending time with you, too, Gwil.”

“Can I ask you something?” he said, placing his glass down for the moment.

“Okay.”

“You don’t have to answer, by the way, I just... would you like to be my girlfriend?” he said.

Your mouth went dry at the inquiry. You weren’t prepared for that question. Not even close.

The silence seemed to make Gwilym panic a little, because he reached for your hand, gripping it gently.

“Hey, you don’t have to. You really don’t. I know your last boyfriend wasn’t the greatest. And I know you were hesitant to even try this dating thing, but I really, really want to show you it’s okay to love again after being heartbroken,” he continued.

Your last boyfriend had cheated on you and ultimately “fell out of love with you” one day. Hah, as if he was even really in love in the first place.

After a few moments, your mind had come to a decision.

“I’ll think about it,” you said softly, hoping you didn’t hurt his feelings.

Gwilym grinned in return. “I’ll take that.”

This is not a temporary love This is not a temporary love Now your heart is in my hands, I won't give it up This is not a temporary love 

Ever since that night, Gwilym had been trying extra-hard to prove to you that you should trust him more than you already do and to let yourself be in a relationship again, that after all the things your ex told you, you shouldn’t believe him. You shouldn’t be afraid.

It started out small, at first with him always texting you ‘good morning’ and ‘goodnight’ when you were apart. Sometimes he would even set his alarm to the same time you woke up for your other project (you had been working on another film at the same time as Bohemian Rhapsody) just to text it to you, even if he was off that day and should have been asleep.

From: Gwil

Good morning <3

To: Gwil

Good morning to you, too. But shouldn’t you be asleep? It’s your day off.

From: Gwil

Yeah, I should, but I wanted to say good morning to you first !

To: Gwil

Go to bed Gwil, but thank you <3 ‘s very sweet of you.

Then eventually it parted off to more frequent compliments, whether it be when you’re fixing his outfit for him, if you’re both hanging out, or on a date.

“You look absolutely lovely.”

“I’m literally wearing sweatpants and a sweatshirt and haven’t brushed my hair yet. How is that attractive?” you laughed.

“Because it’s you.”

Your heart melted.

You may not think I know the difference But I do, but I do, but I do I feel the gravity in between us And you can, too, you can, too, you can, too

“I’ll be your girlfriend.”

“What?” he asked in disbelief, his head turning from the television.

“I’ll be your girlfriend,” you repeated, your voice almost shaky, though you forced it to stay still.

Gwilym’s eyes brightened up in the dim light of your living room. He shifted his body to give you a hug, burying his face in the crook of your neck.

“Finally,” he exhaled, his voice muffled by your hair.

When you both pulled away he seemed to search your eyes and face. You were smiling, too, though your eyes reflected a different story.

“What’s wrong?” he asked once he detected it.

“Nothing.”

“Y/n,” he said sternly and expectantly.

“I just don’t want you to be disappointed after a few weeks,” you admitted, leaning your head against the back of the couch as you looked back at him.

Gwilym’s hand moved up to brush a strand of hair from your face, caressing your cheek gently as he listened.

“It’s been more than a few weeks, love. I promise you, this’ll last very, very long as long as you let it last,” he reassured you, leaning forward to press a kiss to your forehead.

We don't have to hide our love away  Both of us are gonna make mistakes 'cause Leaning on somebody's never easy But look at me and tell me you don't see that

This is not a temporary love No, this is not a temporary love Now your heart is in my hands, I won't give it up This is not a temporary love

Just as he had predicted, the relationship lasted a long time. It had been exactly three years since that day. Your relationship with him was incredibly happy and exciting, and now you were both celebrating your anniversary. You were both sitting in a restaurant at the moment.

The night was normal as always. Jokes, stories, and compliments flowed easily from one of you to the other. You had finished your meals a few minutes ago, and you had asked Gwilym if he wanted to get going, but for some reason, he wanted you both to say.

“Can I ask you something?” he asked, the statement said in a familiar fashion.

“Yeah, of course,” you answered, leaning forward as you met his gaze.

“You know I love you, right?”

“Well I hope so, or else the last three years would’ve been a waste,” you teased, a smile on your face as Gwilym let out a chuckle.

“I suppose so, huh?... Can I ask you another question?”

“Any time.”

“How long would you be willing to spend with me?” 

“Forever,” you admitted quietly, pure love dripping from your words.

He seemed to release a breath of relief, sliding out from his chair as he got down on one knee, a velvet box in his hands. He opened it, revealing the most gorgeous ring you had ever seen. It wasn’t big and flashy. It was subtle. It was sweet. 

“Amazing to hear, ‘cause I’d love to spend forever with you, too. Not even death could do us ‘part,” Gwilym said, seeing your face morph into shock.

Other customers seemed to notice the important day, turning around to see your boyfriend on one knee in proposal as you tried to gather your thoughts. The restaurant got quieter as they looked on.

“Y/n, will you marry me and finally become Y/n Lee?” Gwilym added, affection in his offering.

A hand was over your mouth, tears taking over your eyes as your smile stayed on your face. You let out a breathy laugh and nodded.

“Yes?” he said hopefully, trying to make sure he was seeing you right.

“Yes, of course!” you finally said verbally, letting yourself down to his level as you gave him an embrace, pressing your lips to his in a kiss. Around you, people erupted in applause and glee, even though they didn’t have a clue as to who you people were.

You didn’t notice the others though, it all seemed like white noise in the background. At the moment, it felt like it was just you and Gwilym.

Gwilym slipped the gorgeous ring on your finger, pressing his forehead to yours.

“I told you it would last,” he said in a cheeky manner.

“And you were right,” you laughed softly.

When the world around is caving in And the winds, well, they keep on changing Take my hand and let it spin We'll hold still

This is not a temporary love No, this is not a temporary love

-

Tag List (Ask or message me if you want to be tagged in my future fics! Specify if you only want to be tagged for a series or certain person, please!)

@mclfoybaby @radio-hoo-ha

[ionica01]

This is out of blue but... “You’re my roommate who’s super cute and it’s the middle of the night and you’re cramming for your exams in your flannel pajamas and disheveled hair and it’s becoming increasingly hard for me not to kiss you” AU. Izuocha\Karmanami please?

Hey Adi! It’s been so long:) This was my IzuOcha week contribution for day 4: Domestic! You always give me the best prompts and ideas, hehe~!! I hope you enjoy!

People have vastly different ways of dealing with crushes. Most of them have some sort of crisis, phone their best friends and drive them insane with increasingly absurd poetic descriptions of how cute the object of their affection is, finding new metaphors for love as if, unless put into words, the feeling isn’t real. Others bottle it all up, stealing glances at the person they hold special feelings for, as if that will provide a model for them to paint over, a sketch on the otherwise blank canvas of their life, the start of an enriching work of art. For some, it’s just instinct, as if they’re touch-starved and they need to fulfill some animalistic urge.

Izuku, of course, knows all of this, because he has extensively studied how people deal with crushes ever since he realized he didn’t miraculously catch a cold every time he thought his roommate was cute. It’s also by overanalyzing all this data that he realized his way of coping with crushes is overanalyzing all the data.

This is the thought process that Midoriya Izuku has followed to reach the predicament he is in, and why, he discovers, studying with Uraraka is highly distracting. Because, if there is one thing all crushes have in common, is that the presence of said crush is the holiest blessing and cruelest curse at the same time, mocking all paradoxes known to mankind.

He tries - he really does - to be neither in the stealing glances category, nor in the poetic descriptions one. Unlike everything else Izuku has succeeded in, hard work fails him miserably this time around.

It’s not his fault that he’s already done with his assignment for All Might and that the light in the living room falls just so, the soft glow teasing Uraraka’s tousled hair and the loose threads of her flannel pajama, at least one size too big and definitely unironed. Her focused face is shaped as a pout, her teeth gingerly grazing the ends of her pencil as she taps her fingers to the desk and furrows her brow. It’s not his fault, but he isn’t innocent either, because it’s all Izuku can do not to lean over and poke the imperfect crease that makes her perfect.

Her sigh stirs him out of his contemplative state as she bangs her forehead against the table, raising her hands in defeat. Izuku allows a laughter to bubble out of him, even though it attracts a heavy “Ughhh” from his friend.

“Stop laughing!” she sulks, weakly throwing a pencil in his direction. Izuku dodges, eliciting another groan from Uraraka, who repeatedly slams her forehead against her notebook, as if urging the physics formulas to enter her brain and stay there.

“I have never been defeated by physical laws in real life, so why must theory take its revenge on me?” she groans, her lower lip jutting into an illegally adorable pout, one that Izuku tries his hardest to pretend he hasn’t seen, because it’s doing atrocious things to his heart. Treacherous thing, these feelings blooming inside him faster than weeds that bleed into perfectly planned gardens.

In an attempt to shift his focus from the thrumming beats of his heart, echoing loudly and clearly in his ears, he leans over her notebook and asks, “Magnetism?”

“Electrons are small, so why are they such a big headache?” she dramatically sighs, flapping her arms around her before eventually slumping on the carpet.

If theoretical physics is toying with Uraraka, then real life physics is poking fun at Izuku, because her oversized shirt isn’t supposed to ride over the edge of her pants and reveal a strip of her smooth skin, nor is her exhausting face presumed to be so endearing, the eyebags bringing out the sparks in her eyes and her pale face looking like porcelain in the light of her desk lamp.

Izuku gulps and tries to focus on the words formed by her lips instead of the way they move, trying to process the meaning of what she’s saying instead of wondering what it would feel like to press his mouth to hers, to taste the oily fries they had for dinner, because they live up to the broke student legend and have midnight McDonald’s happy meals to keep them going during the exams.

To refrain himself, Izuku discovers that reciting all of the hormones that cause him to feel such physical attraction does the trick, and he offers her a hand to pull her up. “Tell you what,” he says as she bats his arm away dramatically. “You make it through this theory paragraph and I’ll pay for lunch tomorrow.”

She bolts back to a sitting position, eyes glimmering with the promise of an actual meal - for free. “You mean that?”

Izuku nods, biting the inside of his cheek to keep himself from smiling at the delighted look on her face, the look that makes his heart thump faster than it should. “Deal!” she says, picking up the pen with newfound determination.

Uraraka has no idea what her puffed out cheeks and sudden “aha” moments that light up her face and made her hair bob along with her nods do to Izuku, no clue how his eyes drift from the page of his English assignment to her nimble fingers tapping the spine of her book, no hint that his mind is running through scenarios of how this evening could unfold, scenarios he has to shut down before they get too far.

He’s always been focused on the goal in front of him, but lately, he’s been wondering what it would feel like to make Uraraka part of that goal. She’s been his best friend since high school, yet somewhere along the line, his attachment to her morphed into something that scares Izuku, a feeling so strong it’s choking him and threatening to push him over the line painted by an invisible hand between them.

When she looks up from her notebook with uncontained glee an hour later and gives him an uninhibited grin, however, caution is thrown to hell. Izuku can’t bring himself to recite all the hormones again, neither does he seem to see the line he’s crossing at 100 kmph. All he sees is his hand, raising to her face to tuck the unruly hair behind her ear, but it doesn’t feel like it’s attached to his body.

The word, “DONE~” dies on her lips as her lips as her eyes widen, and a blanket of crimson coats her childish features. Maybe Izuku should have asked her, but it’s too late now, and he closes his eyes before pushing the accelerator pedal and crashing his lips into hers.

It’s really clumsy, and he finds himself wishing he had read more extensively on what do do with a crush instead of crushes themselves. He has twenty seconds before the adrenaline will leave his system, and he uses his time to run his hand through the knots in Uraraka’s hair, to breathe in the mango scented soap she uses and the strawberry chapstick that engulfs the faint oily aftertaste of fries, and to faintly hear her dropping her pen.

Her hands clutch around his shirt before he can pull back sheepishly, and her lips suddenly move against his with urgency. She’s even clumsier than him, bumping their noses and foreheads more than once, and drawing away with crimson stained cheeks and short of breath, but her earnest chocolate eyes stare into his with a sense of awe and wonder.

“Uhm,” he tries, suddenly unsure what one is to say after having kissed one’s best friend without any warning. Words weren’t created for the predicament Izuku is in, and he finds himself retracting his hand from her hair to scratch the side of his cheek, and feel it burning. He lacks data on this pivotal moment, and realized how poorly constructed his attack plan was.

“Waw,” Uraraka manages, more eloquent than him. “I-”

“I’m sorry!” Izuku suddenly blurts. She blinks at him blankly, and he elaborates, “I don’t know what came over me, and I shouldn’t have-” he cuts himself off, because that’s not what he actually means. “I should have asked you before.”

Uraraka seems mildly amused with his rambles and asks in her teasing voice, “And if I had said no?”

Izuku holds her gaze evenly, finding a challenge to be honest in her eyes. “I don’t really know. I would be heartbroken, but I would have respected your decision. Is it a no, though?”

“No, it’s not,” she admits with a shake of her head.

“Is it a yes?” he asks with a small smile.

Uraraka’s face breaks into a lopsided smile and she closes in the distance between them, humming in approval as she presses her lips onto his, this time slower, silencing the ticking of the clock on the wall as they explore the vastness of this new form of them together.

It’s new, and it opens an endless trail of questions in Izuku’s mind, new territory to analyze and map, but mostly, it makes him realize this is more than a crush, because with Uraraka running her hands through his hair, just as messy as his, and with his hands on her waist, Izuku find himself falling.

And it’s the best feeling in the world.

[jooheonies]

A Taste of Heaven

Character(s): Reader X Minhyuk, Dasom getting married to jooyoung (?) idk

Genre: fluff, romance, friendstolovers!au, smut

Warning(s): sweet talk?

Length: 6.8k

Summary: In which Lee Minhyuk causes you way more stress than you ever signed up for.

You first meet Lee Minhyuk in kindergarten, halfway through the year. He seems pretty nice upon first glance, smile a little too creepy but hey, it’s kindergarten. You figure he’s probably been sniffing too much Elmer’s glue or maybe he ate one of the plastic eggs from the housekeeping play section. All things aside, he’s still pretty nice. He has a rock collection and one of them is named Casserole which is coincidentally your favorite food and you have a pet leaf you’ve named Goat which makes Minhyuk giggle.

“Goat is a weird name,” he tells you between barely hidden snickers, fat fingers coming to cover his mouth as you both run to the slide on fumbling legs.

“Yeah, well, Casserole is a yummy food but rocks aren’t yummy. I would know. I tried eating one last year and mommy cried and took me to the doctor,” you inform him expertly as you climb the ladder up to the slide.

You beat him up the slide and a whoop leaves your mouth as you slide down, but Minhyuk’s smile is long gone when he lands on the wood chips behind you softly. His face scrunches up, reddening, and snot leaks from his nose as he blubbers something about ‘mean girls who are mean’ and runs away from you.

You don’t really care because he made fun of Goat’s name and what kind of person does that, honestly, but a little guilty feeling settles into your stomach when you see him sniffling during lunch, poking at his chicken nuggets.

So right after school ends, you go out front and pick him the prettiest rock from the playground, stumbling back on your little legs.

“Here,” you pant, dropping the rock on Minhyuk’s desk and bending over to hold your knees. “I got him for you. His name is Bleach because mommy yelled at me one time when i picked up a bottle and tried to drink it. Like how she got when I ate the rock.”

Minhyuk looks up at you, a little pout on his lips that slowly morphs into a beam that makes his eyes sparkle.

“Really? For me?” He asks, hands clasped together underneath his chin.

You nod, a little surge of relief flowing through you at the sight of his smile.

“Thanks! I’ll bring you a leaf and you can name it Bro because we can be bros now!”

You frown at him, shaking your head, “Bros is for brothers which are boys, but yuck, I’m not a boy.”

Minhyuk shakes his head vehemently, face pulled into a serious expression, “My mommy and daddy told me that those are gender erstro-stero-stereotypes.” He sticks his tongue out of his mouth as he enunciates the syllables.

“What’s that?” You ask, confusion marring your features.

“I don’t really know but they told me that it means that we can call each other whatever we want as long as it makes us happy,” he tells you with a thoughtful expression. “Oh! But not bad words! One time, my big brother, Kihyun, said a bad word and oooooh,” he does a little jig as he bounces on his toes. “My mommy got really mad at him.”

You nod solemnly at this, “My mommy said that “govnurnment” will find us if we say those words and that the sky might fall.”

Minhyuk gasps at this, one hand clutching his chest.

And thus begins your friendship with Lee Minhyuk.

It turns out he lives in the apartment down the hall from yours which means playdates every weekend which slowly turn into sleepovers. Your parents love him to the ends of the world and back and it’s a little infuriating.

In the third grade he sends you a note via some kid named Jooheon who has dimples so deep you could swim in them for days. 

The note reads, “I like u, do u like me, check yes or no (pls yes).”

You smack him on the playground and that’s the end of that.

In the seventh grade, Minhyuk fills out a little, still lanky, but now his legs are nicely proportioned to his torso and his smile is a little more bright and a little less creepy. Girls notice this too, but Minhyuk is still awkward around them, swerving three feet into the opposite direction when he spots a girl in proximity. You tease him endlessly about this, telling him he’s never going to find his love because he’ll be too busy running away from her.

Come the ninth grade, Minhyuk grows a little taller and suddenly becomes a little more cocky with the girls. This leaves a bitter taste in your mouth for some reason, and this taste only intensifies when he gets a girlfriend he spends most of his time with. She’s pretty, with a cute little nose and sharp, mono lidded eyes. Her smile is bright and cheery and matches Minhyuk’s in a way that makes your blood boil.

“Hi, I’m Seulgi!” She announces herself one rainy afternoon, Minhyuk’s arm wrapped loosely around her waist as she waves excitedly at you. “Minhyuk and I are dating and I know you two are best friends so I wanted introduce myself!”

Your eyes narrow at Minhyuk who looks somewhat nervous. “Dating?”

Minhyuk nods firmly at you, “Yeah, I asked her out today. No problem with that, right?”

Your heart twists a little uncomfortably in your chest and your stomach tightens. Nodding at Minhyuk and hastily sticking your water bottle into your bag, you shoot him a strained smile. “Of course it’s okay. Why wouldn’t it be okay? Everything is okay. In fact, everything is so okay I don’t remember what not okay is like. Ha. Ha.”

They break up a few months later but that weird feeling in your chest comes back every time you see her. Minhyuk doesn’t seem too heartbroken in all honesty and she ends up dating Jooheon a couple weeks after. He doesn’ even act all that surprised, truthfully.

You have a movie night at your house with ice cream and chicken nuggets because even ten years later, Minhyuk loves chicken nuggets. He leans into your shoulder and tells you it’s no big deal, because Seulgi “isn’t a mean person’. The night ends with you feeling even more confused because your heart still does the clenching thing when Minhyuk says her name but it also has started doing this weird skippy thing when he comes close to you and oh god when he hugs you goodnight you forget to breathe.

High school passes and you come to terms with the fact that Minhyuk has a nice smile that isn’t creepy and he has pretty hands and really pretty lips and a good, sweet personality and maybe, just maybe, you’ve somehow ended up liking Lee Minhyuk.

Maybe you like like him.

But Minhyuk is a little dense and never notices and you’re too terrified to tell him yourself because of that one time in the third grade you rejected him. So it just stays a secret. Except Minhyuk is the only one who can’t tell. And everyone else makes suggestive jokes and teases you about it. And Minhyuk still doesn’t know.

Getting over your best friend is hard and it’s even harder when it’s Minhyuk, especially when you both decide to go to the same college. So when he asks you to live together during that time, there’s not much you can say except yes because you’ve always been a little weak for Minhyuk.

Living with him is awful, you realize just a week later.

Now that there isn’t a whole apartment between the both of you, he just comes barrelling through your door at random times, screaming about who knows what. He also leaves his pants all over the place. Just his pants. They’re hanging off the lampshades sometimes or draping across the back of the sofa and one time you even find them dangling from the ceiling fan. Turn out, he just likes flinging his pants around the room because pants ‘constrict the creativity flow, which is essential for a lit major.’

It’s awful.

Sometimes he stumbles out of his room early in the morning, in boxers and a loose t-shirt and he mumbles a rough ‘good morning’ as he pours a cup of coffee. His voice is throaty, laced with tiredness and if you could physically bathe in it, you would. And sometimes he gets cold in his room as night so he pushes into yours with a blanket wrapped around his head and snuggles in next to you.

This is even more awful.

It’s a ride through hell.

Lee Minhyuk is your best friend of fifteen years and now, at the age of twenty, you refuse to develop any feelings for him.

This is easier said than done.

The situation isn’t helped when your older sister, Dasom, calls you to tell you that she’s getting married in a week, not two months.

“Minhyuk!” You call, following the smell of chicken nuggets to his room. He sits in the middle of his bed, blankets pooled at the foot of the bed while he dangles his head off the side, half a chicken nugget hanging out his mouth.

“Yes, cutie?” He replies, crooking his head as he stares at your upside-down form.

“Dasom’s getting married to Jooyoung in a week and mom wants you there. Your parents are coming, too,” you tell him, moving into his room.

“A week? I thought the wedding was in another two months!”

You roll your eyes, crossing your arms over your chest. “Right, well, I’m pretty sure something must have happened for the wedding to be pushed back. My mom called it ‘special circumstances’. My bet is that Dasom got pregnant.”

Minhyuk snorts, sitting up only to fall back and lay on his bed, “Yikes, sounds like this’ll be a fun wedding.”

A sinking feeling settles in the pit of your stomach as you move to sit next to him, resting your head on his shoulders. Another day of listening to your mother rant about how horrible Jooyoung is and your father’s irritated grumbles about Dasom’s future.

“Oh, come on,” Minhyuk says, jiggling his shoulder, “there’s no way it’ll be that bad. Weddings are supposed to be fun!”

You glare at him from where your head rests, eyes rolling up. “It won’t be. Jooyoung’s mom is rude and snobbish, and mom and dad think Jooyoung’s family isn’t good enough for ours.”

Minhyuk just nods sympathetically, grinning at you, “I think you should create a diversion.”

“A diversion?”

“Yeah, like you find something that’s so completely shocking neither family even has time to think about how much they hate each other.” Minhyuk nods to himself, as though commending himself on a plan well thought out.

You crinkle your nose, wracking your brain for an an idea when Minhyuk snaps his fingers, bringing his face close to yours with a proud smile.

“Pretend you’re dating me.”

It takes approximately five and a half seconds for the thought to sink into your head before you choke, hacking your way through profuse rejections and vehement denials.

“Oh, come on,” Minhyuk says, bouncing up and down a little, “it’s not like we have to stay together. This is purely for appearance’s sake.”

You nod agreeing with Minhyuk, because yes that makes total and absolute sense, but your heart also wrenches a little for some godforsaken reason.

You chalk it up to heartburn and for the rest of the day, you ignore the way your heart seems to swell whenever you’re around Minhyuk.

Minhyuk somehow forgets that weddings include formal wear, as in a suit, so six hours before the wedding you both shuffle out to the department store located one too many bus stops away. His justification is that university students have no reason to use suits and therefore “they are useless”.

Be that as it may, you refuse to show up at the wedding with him dressed in the suit he bought for high school graduation.

“So what color do I get?”

You sigh, rifling through the racks of suits, “Minhyuk just pick a simple suit.”

He seems to think that all suits are the same size because the first one he steps out of the dressing room in hangs embarrassingly over his frame. The sleeves fall over his lithe wrists, just the tips of his fingers poking out and the shoulders droop awkwardly. He looks like he’s mid-puberty.

You pinch the bridge of your nose, sighing. “Change of plans. I pick a suit and you wear it.”

Minhyuk nods as you pluck a black suit off one of the racks and pass it to him. “There are sizes, Minhyuk. That’s why I asked for your measurements.”

“That’s why I asked how to pick!”

You don’t even bother supplying him with a response, pushing him into one of the dressing rooms and turning to sit in one of the empty chairs near the big mirrors. Minhyuk grunts few times, complaining from inside the room about starchy fabrics and too tight collars as you laugh, inspecting your fingernails. A rack of ties hang beside you, colorful prints and dark, solid colors. You trace the tips of your finger over each tie, plucking out a soft pink one, satisfied with how well it matches with your dress.

The swish of the curtains swinging open is the first thing you register before you look up and oh-

Minhyuk stands, one hand pushed into his pocket, the other fiddling with the lapels of the suit jacket, one knee cocked. His brown hair is swept back from his face, tousled from what you assume are his fingers raking through it. He looks breathtaking and you gulp a little bit, voice caught in your throat for a moment.

“N-nice, you -you, you look nice.”

Minhyuk’s fingers graze over the fabric, his eyes locked on you, hints of a smirk playing at the corners of his lips. “You think so?”

You force back the impure thoughts budding in your mind and manage a stiff smile, sending him a wink. Minhyuk’s cheeks redden and he coughs into his fist, mumbling something about you being too cute for your own good. You’re not exactly sure why that makes you blush and fluster when you hear that but you spend the next ten minutes hacking up a lung while Minhyuk asks you if you’re okay.

You nod and it’s another day of ignoring the fact that Lee Minhyuk looks amazing in both sweatpants and a suit.

So when you get back home, you make a beeline for your bedroom, eyes refusing to grant Minhyuk any glances.

It’s stifling in your room, surrounded by the smell of Minhyuk’s cologne and mental flashes of his suit, the white collar of his dress shirt unbuttoned, fingers latching onto the tie to wriggle it loose.

You find it nearly impossible to rid yourself of the intrusive thoughts, flinging yourself into your bed. Solace comes in the form of your fingers sneaking down your jeans, pushing your panties aside as you rub at your folds, fingers flicking against your clit. Your eyes flutter shut as you arch your back, mouth opening in a silent moan, thoughts of Minhyuk running through your mind. His fingers pass fleetingly through, thoughts of how well those long fingers could work you open, pressing against all the right spots.

Your fingers twirl around the bundle of nerves, mind now delving into the ways his tongue could make you feel, swiping over your folds, pushing into you. You can picture him pressing you into the sheets, lips burning trails all over your body, leaving light hickeys on the unmarred skin, his voice raspier as he grunts into your ears. Minhyuk could fill you up so well, taking his time with making you feel good, leaving you writhing and satisfied. 

You imagine his face when he cums, mouth open and face twisted in an expression of pure ecstasy. It’s what finally has you unraveling around your own fingers, voice breathy as a whisper of his name slips through your lips.

You lie there in your bed, limp and spent for a good fifteen seconds before the weight of what you’ve done washes over you. Your cheeks burn with embarrassment of having just gotten off to the mere thoughts of your best friend, quickly wiping your fingers clean with the tissues on your bedside table.

A sudden loud rap comes from your door and Minhyuk’s voice wafts through, sugary and sweet. “Are you dressed yet? The wedding starts in about two hours.”

Your voice catches in your throat for a quick second, a garbled croak sounding from your lips first. “I-I mean almost!”

Minhyuk groans from the other side and you can almost picture the pout on his lips. “Well, hurry up!”

It takes you only a few minutes to slip on the dress, light pink and soft and airy, the most comfortable one you could find. You forsake the comfort of your feet, however, for high heels, teetering a little as you stand  from your chair.

Minhyuk’s hand is still shoved into his pocket when you step out, but this time his eyes are locked on the watch on his wrist as he stares at it intently, tapping his foot on the hardwood floor, little irritated clacks resonating. You clear your throat a little, eyes widening when you see that he’s cleaned up, swept the strands of his hair to the sides, the tie properly knotted around his neck, a small pink rose tucked into the pocket of his suit. Your breathing stutters a little and a silence follows, Minhyuk’s eyes widening as he looks at you, scanning your body up and down as he drags his tongue over his cracked lips in a quick swipe.

“H-hey, you look nice - like good- like really good, you look really good,” he stammers, rubbing the back of his neck shyly, the skin flaming a right red. Minhyuk clears his throat once, twice, holding out his elbow. “Shall we, m’lady?” He seems to be able to compose himself enough to step closer, instead, lacing your fingers together.

“It’s what real couples do,” he says when you glance at him inquisitively, but his cheeks are a telling pink as he looks away.

The moment your step into the church your eye lock on your mother, fanning herself with the wedding pamphlet in one hand, the other swishing a glass of red wine. Her face is twisted into an irritated expression, lips thin and wrinkled. Your father is slouched over the table, glasses perched low on the bridge of his nose as he traces the tip of his finger over the rim of his wineglass. He looks more glum than anything else, eyes occasionally flitting up to eye the white, lily-covered aisle and flower decorations with a heavy sigh.

“Minhyuk!” Your mother exclaims, face lighting up the second she sees him. She opens her arms wide, a smile splitting her frown, “I’ve missed you so much!”

Your father even seems happier, clapping Minhyuk on the back with enough force to nearly knock him over. “How’s college going, Minhyuk?”

“Oh, I’m sure he’s at the top of his class, just like in high school!” Your mother gushes, hands clasped together in happiness. Minhyuk just smiles, wrapping an arm around your mother’s waist and planting  a kiss on the crown of her head. She giggles, leaning into his shoulder.

Your cross your arms over your chest, eyebrows furrowed.

“Hi, mom. It’s me. Your daughter.”

Your mother spares you a glance before turning back to Minhyuk, “Yes, sweetheart, I know. Believe it or not, I was there when you were born.”

You barely have enough time to splutter back an offended reply before Dasom comes barging in, eyes glinting with anger, her dress swinging back and forth dangerously.

“Where are my calla lilies?” She nearly screams, shoving Minhyuk aside.

He stumbles, nearly crashing into the table as she huffs, slamming her hand down onto the table. A sort of fury ignites in your chest as you latch one of your hands onto Minhyuk’s elbow, tugging him close. “Hands off my boyfriend.”

Minhyuk looks back at you, his face unreadable.

Dasom’s expression shifts from anger to utter confusion as she turns to look at you, mouth open. “What did you say?”

The anger inside of you dwindles, your rash actions catching up to you. “Uh-I mean-uh”

“We’re dating.” Minhyuk announces, moving his elbow out of your hand to instead interlace your fingers together. “I’m here to provide support for my girlfriend’s family.”

Dasom chokes.

Minhyuk’s whisks you out of the church after that, calling out a cheerful ‘be right back!’ over his shoulder. You can hear your parents fumbling for words, half-finished sentences and garbled sounds.

When you go back in moments later, this time equipped with knowledge from google (how to fake a relationship), your parents are more composed. You mother is seated in one of the high stools, your father right next to her. Her legs are crossed, fingers wrapped around the stem of the wineglass, swishing the red liquid as she eyes you with a cold, calculated look.

“So,” she begins, the second you both step closer, “when did this happen?”

Minhyuk speaks up, one hand pressed against the small of your back, “We’ve been dating for about a month, but we didn’t want to make it a big deal.”

“Of course it’s a big deal,” your mother exclaims, the wine sloshing dangerously in the glass. She shifts her gaze to glare at you, “I can’t believe you kept the son-in-law of my dreams hidden from me all this time!”

“What.”

She rolls her eyes, turning to look at your dad, “Do you see this? She kept this hidden for an entire month!”

Your father grunts a little, squaring his shoulders, “We all love Minhyuk sweetheart, why wouldn’t you just tell us?”

Minhyuk winks at your parents, greasy and playful, “I love you guys, too.”

“See,” your mother chimes, “there was absolutely no reason to keep him from us!”

You open your mouth to respond when the church doors fly open, a hot blast of air flying through the room.

Jooyoung’s mother stands there, sunglasses perched on her nose, designer bag swinging from the crook of her elbow. Minhyuk wraps an arm around your shoulders, rubbing the skin gently as he waves, voice cheerful.

“Hi hello!”

She tilts her head, peering at him over the top of her sunglasses before sniffing and strutting forwards.

“I’m the groom’s mother.”

An awkward silence follows.

“Ah, yes,” Minhyuk says, clearing his throat and smiling uncomfortably. You can practically see his inner struggle, desperately trying to impress. Minhyuk has always been like this, striving to make sure everyone likes him and please anyone he meets.

Your mother rolls her eyes, mumbling a quick greeting and darting away with your father as quickly as she can.

Another awkward silence follows.

“So,” Jooyoung’s mother  says, taking off her sunglasses and slipping them into her purse, turning to look at you “How are you?”

“I-I’m fine,” you croak, slightly intimidated. “Got a good job and moved into a new apartment and -”

“You’re so independent” she chimes, voice saccharine sweet. “It’s no wonder you haven’t found anyone yet!”

You choke a little, eyes widening and Minhyuk stiffens next to you.

“Actually,” he says, pressing himself a bit closer to you, “we’re dating.”

Your heart flutters a bit - just a bit- at his words, leaning into his warmth. Jooyoung’s mother regards him with a calculated look, eyes sweeping up and down his form.

“Well,” she sighs, turning to look back at you, “if that’s the kind of man you wanted, you certainly got a good one.”

You’re not quite sure what to make of that but guests slowly begin filing in and Jooyoung moves to greet them all, shaking hands and casting smiles.

Jooyoung’s mother shuffles away, heels clacking loudly on the tiled floor as she hugs some of the people coming in.

“Wow, she seems really nice,” Minhyuk says dryly, mouth pulled into a wry smile.

Your mother appears next to you, lips pressed into a thin line. “She’s quite a piece of work isn’t she?”

Minhyuk’s eyes flash to her before he grins, planting a soft peck on your temple. “Don’t be sad, I’m here to make the perfect son-in-law for you!”

You don’t hear your mother’s reply because all the blood in your body is rushing to your face, the pounding of your heart beating too loudly in your ears. Lee Minhyuk’s lips are soft and feel like clouds pressed against you and his arm feels so incredibly secure, like they were meant to keep you safe, it’s hard to breathe now.

“-right?”

Your eyes snap back into focus as you feel Minhyuk’s elbow nudge you in the ribs softly, mumbling an intelligent “huh?”

You mother just sighs, pointing to the pews with a tired hand. Minhyuk guides you to your places, a warm and comforting presence. The wedding passes by in a blur; Dasom practically radiates beauty and Jooyoung clearly can’t stop smiling. They exchange vows and your eyes brim with tears as Dasom slips the ring onto his finger, overwhelmed with the sudden realization of your older sister moving onto the next chapter of her life. The tips of Minhyuk’s fingers brush underneath your eyes, sweeping the tears away. He wraps his hand around yours, rubbing comforting circles into the back of your hand with his thumb.

You unconsciously lean into the touch, reveling in the warmth his body provides against you, comforting and soothing. The smell wafting off of him is familiar, allowing you a sort of solace in this uncomfortable atmosphere.

Your mother shoots you a knowing glance, smiling surreptitiously and leans into your father’s side, whispering something.

The rest of the ceremony moves by just as quickly, the reception more or less bustling with people holding too many wine glasses.

Dasom and Jooyoung have their first dance and people slowly fall into a relaxed state, swaying to the soft music, arms wrapped around their partners.

“Hello, darlings,” Jooyoung’s mother says, sidling up next to you and eyeing your mother up and down. Her eyes convey irritation as she plasters a fake smile across her lips. “That shade does wonders for your wrinkles!” She says, gesturing towards your mother’s dress.

Your mother’s lips twitch as she brings the wine glass to her lips.

“My, that’s the eighth glass you’ve had since I’ve gotten here! I envy you and your daughter, not worried about what others may think!”

Her eyes narrowing, your mother clears her throat, bringing the glass down from her lips to ask, voice quiet, “And what exactly does that mean?”

Jooyoung’s mother sniffs, inspecting her fingernails, “Of course, I mean your obvious issue with alcohol, for lack of better word. Furthermore, I would never allow my child to cling to their partner in public in such a way, especially during someone else’s  wedding, but it’s wonderful that the both of you are so confident you don’t concern yourselves with anyone else.”

You feel yourself step back in shock, unprepared for the attack aimed your way. This time, your mother places the glass on the table, straightening her back and clasping her hands.

“I think,” she begins, voice eerily calm, “That it’s none of your concern what we do.”

Jooyoung’s mother crosses her arms, the leather of her purse dangerously hovering over her sharp diamond bracelet. “Well, of course it is. You’re family now.” She spits out the word like it’s venom, mouth wrinkling in distaste.

“Right,” Minhyuk interjects, coolly wrapping his arm around your waist again, fingers playing with the fabric of your dress. “Family. But auntie, is everything alright at home? Jooyoung told me about your … financial issues, and you know we’re always happy to help. After all, that’s what family is for.”

Jooyoung’s mother chokes a little, composure breaking as she stammers, “I-it’s fine. We have everything under complete control.” Her voice cracks a few times before she wobbles away, calling out for Jooyoung.

You and your mother stare at Minhyuk in awe as he plucks a mini quiche off a platter and pops it into his mouth, chewing happily.

“Financial troubles?” Your mother croaks, eyes wide. “Since when?”

“Not sure,” Minhyuk says around the food in his mouth, munching noisily. “That,” he swallows the last of the quiche, sticking up his index finger, “Was a shot in the dark.”

“A shot in the dark,” your mother repeats slowly, as if mulling over the words. “You didn’t know if it was true?”

“Nah,” he says, shrugging his shoulders, “but she was clearly on edge all throughout the wedding and what kind of mom wears more expensive clothing than her son on his wedding day? Only a mom that felt insecure about her finances.”

A stunned silence follows.

“Well,” your mother says, standing from her chair, teetering a little bit, “I’m going to go get another drink, because I need it if I’m supposed to survive this wedding.”

She hobbles away, swaying a little and nearly crashing into one of the waiters as she searches for the open bar.

Minhyuk chuckles by your shoulder, puffs of air hitting the side of your neck, “Told you I’d be a good buffer.”

You turn to face him, mouth open and ready to fire back a reply but he’s staring down at you, eyes twinkling and lips curved into the sweetest smile and the words somehow get caught in your throat.

“May I have this dance?” He asks, offering his hand, and grazing the tip of his nose over yours.

Words aren’t needed as you slip your hand into his, nodding with a shy smile. Minhyuk’s hand feels secure and safe as he pulls you close, slipping them down to hold your waist.

“So,” he says, smiling as you wrap your hands around his shoulders, “seems like they bought the whole thing, huh?”

You frown, steps faltering, “What do you mean?”

“Our relationship.”

“Oh.”

A sort of wrenching feeling builds in your chest, similar to how you felt when Seulgi announced she was dating him and at this point you’ve accepted your feelings for Minhyuk because, really, there’s no way out.

“But,” he says, pressing his forehead against yours, “You don’t seem all that happy.”

You square your shoulders, jaw setting. 

Right. Be an adult. Rip the bandaid off. Get it over with.

“Minhyuk,” you sigh, eyes locked on the collar of his shirt, “I-”

“A hypothetical,” he interrupts, this time slight panic laced into his eyes, “What if, hypothetically, I actually wanted to be your date for once and I just did this so that you’d give me a chance?”

“What.”

“And, hypothetically, I like it when you take care of me so I purposefully depend on you?”

“What.”

“And maybe, just hypothetically, what if I said I’ve liked you since the third grade? So,” he scratches the back of his neck, laughing awkwardly, “If I said that, would we keep pretending or could we actually start dating? Hypothetically.”

You blink.

“What.”

This time Minhyuk groans in exasperation. “Oh my god, you don’t get it. I like you.”

“You what.”

“Like you.”

“Like you like me? I know you like me; we’ve been friends for years, Minhyuk.”

“No, like I like you like you.”

This new piece of information takes about three minutes for you to process during which almost eighty different emotions pass over Minhyuk’s face.

It finally hits you and your legs shake as you take a step back, “W-what?”

The world suddenly becomes all wavy and Minhyuk’s arm slips around your waist, catching you as your knees nearly buckle. “What do you think?”

Your arms slip back around his neck, searching for balance and he’s so close, so incredibly close, his lips ghosting over your own and before you realize it, your eyes have slid shut, lips parting.

Fuck it, you’ve waited for this for years.

You forget everything, the family stress, the people around you, the piles of work you have left at home, and focus solely on what you’ve thought about for years.

Minhyuk’s lips press against yours with the softest of touches and nothing you’ve imagined could have prepared you for this moment, lips tingling, fingers flying to latch onto his shoulders, drawing him closer. Minhyuk’s lips are made of fireworks and coming home, he’s the comfort you’ve always needed and the sunshine you so desperately crave. He tilts, his head, lips leaving your for a split second as he gulps in air, a whisper of your name slipping past his lips. You only grow more desperate for his touch, leaning into him, fingers scrabbling for purchase as they drag at his shoulders.

“I’m guessing that’s a yes?” He laughs when your lips part, foreheads still pressed against each other’s.

You can almost physically feel his warmth squeezing through the cracks of uncertainty in your heart as you nod, a smile spreading over your lips.

“Yes.”

Minhyuk has a hard time keeping his hands to himself. You discover this on your hasty car ride back home, as you both quickly bid your parents goodbye, quick pecks on the cheek and surprised hugs thrown your way.

His hand rests on your bare knee as he drives, his shirt popped open a few button, tie loose and hanging around his neck.

“Minhyuk, move.”

“No. I like my hand there.”

Correction. He just doesn’t like keeping his hands to himself.

“Something wrong with it,” he pauses, almost contemplatively, before a slow grin spreads across his face, “baby?”

“No.”

“Baby,” he says, this time the smirk on his face much too prominent.

“Shut.”

“Baby.”

“UP.”

He smiles, tilting his head, “So you like being called baby.”

You cross your arms over your chest and glare at him, but he seems unaffected.

“You looked really pretty today, baby.”

A minute of silence goes by.

“So pretty, baby.”

“Never speak to me again, Lee Minhyuk.”

Minhyuk’s lips are pressed against yours the moment you both step into the apartment, fumbling to take off your shoes, you heels catching on the edge of the rug as you stumble.

His hands roam, pressing into your sides and tugging your body close as he stumbles into the living room.

“You’re so pretty, baby,” he whispers, hands burning as they pull you into the bedroom, shifting to the back of your dress to fiddle with the zipper.

You sigh, voice catching in your throat as your body lands on the messy sheets, “You–you looked pretty good, too.”

He grins, lips curving against the column of your neck. “I noticed you liked the suit, baby.”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

Minhyuk just shoots you a cheeky grin, fiddling with the clasp of your bra, “I saw your face when I came out of that dressing room. Admit it, you think it’s hot.” He smiles when the bra finally unclasps, falling from your shoulder

You roll your eyes, locking your legs around his waist and drawing him closer. “I think,” you huff, rolling your hips up to meet his, seeking relief from the lust that’s building inside of you, “that you need to talk a little less.”

Minhyuk’s finger’s move up to pop another shirt button, smile widening when he hears you draw in a sharp intake of air. “You sure this isn’t making you wet, baby?”

“Minhyuk,” you whine, fingers making their way up to his shirt to unbutton it, irritated with how long he’s taking, “shut up already.”

He just giggles, his lithe fingers trapping both of your wrists and pressing a kiss to each before he leans back down, pressing your wrists against the sheets, to kiss you again. His hands move down your frame, ghosting over your nipples and leaving goosebumps in their wake.

Minhyuk’s lips move to your neck, biting down on your collar bones and licking lightly up the side. Your fingers weave back into the strands of his hair, tugging him closer as he groans against your neck, rolling his hips down t meet yours.

“Thought about this for too long,” he pants, hands sliding down to tug at your panties, “wanted you for so long.”

Your words catch as a moan spills past your lips, pleasure coursing through your body as Minhyuk’s fingers trail up your folds, flicking your clit and sliding into you with ease. “I – ah – m-me too, Minhyuk, yes, me too.”

His fingers curl inside of you, pressing against your walls and dragging out the moans coursing past your lips that threaten to grow so loud you’ll receive noise complaints in the morning.

“What do you mean, baby?” He asks, breathless as he pumps his fingers into you, “You thought of me like this? Thought of me making you needy and desperate? Like the good girl you are?” His voice is laced with shock, eyes staring into yours with mild disbelief.

Your body squirms, hips lifting to try and rock back against his fingers. “Fuck yes, Minhyuk, so please please please –”

“Not so fast,” he interrupts you, his fingers slowing down to an agonizing pace. “What did you think of, baby?”

“Please, Minhyuk,” you nearly sob as his fingers push into you again, reaching spots you never could and pressing them in all the right ways.

“No. Tell me what you thought about.”

Your body twitches underneath his as you surrender, too weak to try and argue. “Thought about your fingers, how they’d feel, and your lips and the way you’d fuck me so good, fuck, Minhyuk, I know you’d make me feel so good,” you mewl, fingers clawing thin red stripes into his bare shoulders as he shrugs his dress shirt off.

Minhyuk groans, eyes burning a darker shade as he brings his lips back down to yours, teeth clacking messily, too much tongue, but it feels so damn good.

“So,” he pants, “perfect,” his fingers pull out of you, “for”, he rolls on a condom, “me.”

Minhyuk likes taking his time, Like winding you up, making you more whiny and desperate for him. He pushes into you with a low groan, his pace slow and steady. Your toes curl and your eyes roll back as he brings his thumb down to rub at your clit, satisfied at the half-scream that spills from your lips.

His thrusts aren’t enough, though, just shy of exactly where you need him, so you wrap your legs around his waist, tugging him closer and hissing a stuttered “faster”.

Minhyuk kisses you, harsh and desperate, and when he pulls away, he sucks your lower lip into his mouth, watching with satisfaction as he releases it and it pops back into its place. His eyes rake over your face appreciatively, watching the delirium that slowly takes over your body as you writhe against him, drawing him closer, begging for more.

“You’re just so fucking gorgeous, baby,” he groans, snapping his hips and pressing hot, openmouthed kisses against your jaw. “You’re so perfect.”

You can only moan in response, nails dragging up his shoulders and raking over the nape of his neck.

“And,” he hisses, angling his hips a little differently, “You’re even perfect when you’re like this, pretty and wet all over my cock.”

“Fu-fuck, Minhyuk fuck,” you sob, words coming out in little broken cries as he snaps into you with newfound force. “S-so good, yes, more.”

You can faintly hear the sound of the headboard slamming against the wall, but everything disappears and all you can focus on is Minhyuk’s lips and his hands and the way he fucks into you.

Your body convulses underneath his as a scream is ripped from your throat, Minhyuk’s name slipping past your lips and it’s so, so hard to focus when his sinful lips are dragging over your body, red blotches littering the already marked skin.

“Come on, baby,” he whispers, rubbing his thumb over your clit, “cum for me. Cum over my cock like the pretty little girl you are.”

It’s what finally has your back arching, jaw slack as a harsh scream slips past your lips, eyes rolling back. Minhyuk’s thrusts grow more erratic before he releases into you with a low ‘fuck’. There’s a moment of pure silence as he noses into your neck, steadying his breathing. He sighs, pressing soft, lazy kisses against your forehead as he relaxes, your legs falling from his shoulder, body already sore.

You feel your body go limp as he pulls out of you with a low hiss, rolling the condom off his length to throw it out. Minhyuk flings himself into the space next to you, one arm thrown over your waist, his legs immediately moving to tangle with yours.

“So,” he whispers, peeling back the strands of hair that have plastered themselves to your face, “I hear you like me.”

You snort, nuzzling into his chest, “Heard you like me, too.”

Minhyuk just hums, practically molding himself to you and your arms find their way around him being living with Lee Minhyuk is ride through hell but being with him is a taste of heaven.

A/N: hi helo this was weird 2 write but i realize that i rlly like writing for minhyuk bc hes such a gr8 person i now stan minhyuk buhbye also wats a casserole google wont give me an answer

Requested by:

[Anon] Please write a Minhyuk fluffy smut? I need more of this! It’s so hard to find 😭

Masterlist

[snippychicke]

Issues--Power Rangers 2017

This…is complete crack. I have no clue which odd corner of my mind it came from, but I might as well share it.

Fandom: Power Rangers 2017 Title: Issues (Aka I’m crap at titles) Pairing: Zordon/Reader. Yes, you read that right. Notes: CRACK. FREAKING CRACK. And Tommy/Tommi who? Sorta. Reader could be Tommy. That makes it even more weird.

“We have a saying on Earth: curiosity killed the cat…I’m pretty sure I’m the cat.” The green gold coin sparkled in the odd dusky light as you flipped it between your fingers. “I mean, who chases after a meteorite in the middle of the night? An idiot, that’s who.”

“It called you,” Zordon answered shortly from somewhere behind you. “Focus. You need to cleanse the power before the darkness claims you as well.”

You sighed as you looked away from the coin you were supposed to be purifying to your surroundings. Your body was back at the command center, resting in a trance. your mind… well, it was on the morphing grid, which was rather like an astral plane in your comic books. A very vague but peaceful landscape of floating rocky pillars surrounds by different colored clouds of energy. One for each ranger not only in earth, but the entire universe.

A green cloud swirled around the one you sat on, but unlike the others it looked tainted, like the cloud was somehow mixed with tar. The darkness, the evil, left over from Rita Repulsa. The same darkness that whispered in your ear twisted thoughts that you tried to ignore.

Zordon snapped your name again, making you look behind your spot on the edge to where he had been pacing behind you. When you first started these sessions, it was hard to reconcile the giant face in the wall with the tall muscular alien behind you. Until he snapped at you with that familiar look of unease and distrust in his eyes. Then it was all too easy. Even now there was that look which stirred something you, and not in a pleasant way. The little whisper cackling softly, reminding you how much he obviously disliked you.

“Well, maybe if you would stop pacing like a caged tiger it would be a bit easier. It’s hard to focus when I can virtually feel your anger and disappointment.” You snapped, trying but failing to ignore those dark thoughts. For a moment, you thought you saw something, maybe regret, flash across his face but you ignored it as you shook your head. “Look, I promise I won’t go bat-shit crazy like Rita did so you can go do whatever it is you do here. I know you don’t like being around me and I’m well use to being on my own.”

You focused your attention away from him and back to the coin. You tried to force the negativity out of your mind with a deep breath, and focus on the good things. The fierce devotion you felt towards your new teammates, how you would do anything to keep the safe, or to ensure their happiness. How nice it was to have a purpose in your life. People that cared for you.

Except your thoughts kept twisting, that little voice in your head reminding you that none of your teammates fully trusted you. Not even as you struggled to overcome the taint of the coin. They all expected you to wander down the path of your predecessor Rita. To turn and betray them. Even after all you did to try and prove you wouldn’t. “Stop.“ Zordon’s command broke through your thoughts. You felt him settle on the edge beside you, but stubbornly ignored him and kept your eyes closed. The damn alien couldn’t apparently make up his mind. Some days, he almost treated you with the same respect he gave the others, but then something would flip and you were an errant child meddling with forces beyond your grasp.

But you were the eldest of the six. More of an adult than a teen, and going to college rather than high school. And all of this Ranger stuff was far beyond anyone. There was a pause before his hand wrapped around your clenched fist as he spoke your name. Not harshly as he usually did, but softly. “Please, stop. You’re letting the darkness in.”

That made you open your eyes, and sure enough the green cloud was darker, with more tar-like stuff mixed in. “Shit,” you cursed. “Damn it, no.” You ran a hand through your hair as you sighed in defeat. Always one step forward and then two steps back. You weren’t going to win. “I-I can’t do this. And there is no way I will allow myself to be like her. I’ll kill myself before I hurt anyone.”

“The coin would not have called you if it wasn’t sure you could handle the task.” You looked over at him, a little surprised by his words as well as the decided lack of the usual harshness. Sure he would talk to the others that way, but… never you. especially during your training. “Your heart is still pure. You must not let the darkness change that.”

You felt your face flush and looked away with a laugh that was part embarassed and part self deprecating. “My heart is not pure. I-I’m not like the others. I mean we’ve been through hell, but they’re still innocent. I’m…I’m damaged goods.” Maybe that’s why the coin called you. Not because you could fix it, but because you already had that darkness in you, and it sensed it. Maybe this was just fate, to wind up heartbroken and destitute once more. “Let me show you something.” You looked back at Zordon. It was odd to see him this close. Usually he was pacing at a distance, snapping commands. Not close enough where you could study the swirls and other intricate designs against his grey skin, or notice his eyes were a faint grey-green.

Grey-green that was tinged with regret, which was very odd to say the least. Still, you took the silent offer and accepted his hand. It was shockingly warm; warmer than a humans, though the strength as he curled his fingers with yours didn’t surprise you. Not with the muscles displayed to see and caught your attention at the oddest times. Except there was little time to reflect on how…nice it felt before a green glow began to emanate from your chest. You looked down to see a green heart-shaped crystal appear, it’s soft glow beating in time with your pulse.

“That is your soul, and it is rare to see one so pure.” He answered your unasked question, still using that calm, patient tone. “If there had been any evil in it, I would not have taught you how to access the grid like this. You have unlimited access to the power of the Rangers. Not only those of our system, but all of them across time and space.”

Your eyes drifted from your soul back to Zordon. His eyes were trained on you, and the emotion in then made your gut twist. Complete opposite of before. For once the voice was quiet, leaving you alone in your mind. It took a while to swallow the lump in your throat and ask: “Then why is it you can barely stand me? Let alone trust me.”

“It’s not that I can’t stand you, or don’t trust you.” He paused, his hand tightening slightly before he sighed. “I’m…worried to lose another person dear to me to the darkness. That I will fail once more.”

Someone…dear? Surely you were misconstruing that. Dear as maybe a friend, surely. Or a teammate. Though, to at least be honest with yourself, there may be some attraction to him, in a very weird sense of ‘you may be legit alien and an ass most of the time, but I am rather enraptured by you and obviously I must have issues.’

“You won’t,” you found yourself assuring. “I-I mean, if that,” you gestured to the swirling green cloud still stained with tar, “gets worse, I completely meant it when I said that I would kill myself before I hurt anyone.”

That did not ease the look on his face, if anything it made it more grim. “I would still lose you.”

Oh.

Your soul was betraying you as it kept pace with your qucking heart as you desperately tried to remind yourself that there was no way in hell giant-face-in-the-wall drill-sergeant Zordon would like you in the same way your traitorous heart liked him. “I-it wouldn’t be much of a loss. I mean, what am I other than just the silly little human that chased a cursed meteorite?”

He shook his head, “No, you don’t realize how much of a loss it would be. Not only for the other Rangers, but for myself. Your simple presence makes this prison easier to deal with. I…am sorry if I made you believe anything else.”

You weren’t sure what overcame you, but you found yourself leaning in to press a chaste kiss to his cheek. The hand that had been twined with your squeezed tighter as the other cupped your face, guiding you to meet his lips for a kiss that wasn’t chaste.