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pallasperilous · 4 years

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Occursus

Castiel/Dean Winchester Gen/Teen, 4341 words 15x20 coda AO3 version “The natural environment of the human soul is a human body,” Cas says. “Humans have yet to meet a foreign substrate that they don’t immediately attempt to colonize. My form in Hell was not an exception.”

Then he shuts his mouth very deliberately and gestures back to Dean like his mic is going live in three, two. “Or the bit where my soul gave you some kind of STD?” Dean finishes. “It was a poor analogy. I apologize.” “So what’s a better one?” Castiel drums his fingers for a second. “It’s more like…the way a parasitic jewel wasp injects a cockroach with venom, and transforms it into a willing host for wasp larvae.” “Holy shit are you ever bad at this,” Dean says, with that signature brand of fond horror he special-orders just for Castiel, Angel of the Gourd.

It’s half past midnight by the time Dean gets another run at Cas.

Granted, what the fuck does half past midnight even mean here, where time is as free as tap water? Why does anybody even bother? For all it matters, Dean could set his watch to eleventy minutes past twenty o’ nope and still never miss last call.

Then again, somebody felt it necessary to invent the idea of Tuesday in the first place, and Dean’s not gonna volunteer himself for the task of replacing it with something better. What’s important is that he’s survived (or rather, he hasn’t survived) a battery of poignant moments and tearful reunions. He and Sam hugged out burdens registering in the triple digits. They even had a little fight, pretty much for the fun of it, while Ellen fucking Harvelle watched them over the bar with her eyes shining. She still charged them, though.

Right at the beginning of the party Dean and Castiel had their eyes-across-the-room thing, followed by the same magnetic, exhausted embrace they’ve shared on just about every plane of reality now. Dean supposes he could ask Cas for a nickel tour of the Empty just so they could hit for the cycle, but he’d really rather not. Sam let them eke out a few gruff, tear-choked monosyllables before diving in, sweeping Cas up in a bear hug and laughing like a fucking kid. Dean doesn’t push it, because it’s been longer for Sam, after all. Or something.

And now it’s quiet, just the jukebox and the clink of glasses back in the kitchen, a few folks murmuring in booths. It might be dark outside, it might not; it’s waiting on Dean’s opinion before it commits to anything. And so is Cas, who is standing in the warm glow of the jukebox, hands in his pockets.

Dean walks up, leans against it, bottle still dangling from one hand.

“C’mon, sunshine. I’ll show you yours, you show me mine.”

Cas looks up and into Dean’s eyes with the wary, elegant patience of a deer. “What is it that you would be showing me, Dean?”

Dean gives him a long, languid blink and bites his lip, and Castiel lags for half a second before rolling his own eyes. “I see death hasn’t refined your sense of humor.”

“Nope. Guess the billionth time aint the charm.”

Cas remains stonefaced, which means a corresponding you dumbass blush starts crawling up the sides of Dean’s neck. The jukebox switches records like it’s making a suggestion.

“I’m gonna sit down outside,” Dean says. “C’mon and sit down with me. There’s a patio somewhere, right? Ellen was always talking about adding one out back. No way she hasn’t bossed somebody into buildin’ it.”

“There’s a patio,” Cas says, taking his hands out of his pockets.

Heaven’s patio is pretty nice; twenty square feet, some scattered picnic tables, fences covered in ivy and string lights. It still smells like fresh pine boards. There’s even a fire pit, which seems kinda bougie for the Roadhouse, but hell with it, it’s warm and pretty, and since when did pretentious people get to lay claim to “a hole with a fire in it”? There’s no moon overhead, and so the Milky Way is giving them the full monty — the runnelled spine of it, the ribcage packed with galaxies.

“Are they all alive?” Dean asks. The warmth from inside leaks out of his collar, wisps away.

“Who?”

Dean points up. “The stars. They always make a big deal about how most of the stars you can see from Earth have been dead for millions of years by the time we get the light from ‘em. That still true here? Or is everything on auto-renewal?”

“That’s a very complicated question,” Cas says, not looking up, only at Dean. He does that a lot, Dean knows, but it turns out to mean something different than what Dean had always assumed, which was ironically pretty similar to what it actually meant, but was reassuringly unactionable and therefore unfuckupable.

“I’m a very complicated guy,” Dean says.

Castiel smiles at that. “I don’t actually know the answer,” he admits. “And it would take an extremely long time to investigate. There are some other things I’d rather do first.”

“What, you can’t just call the kid for directory assistance?”

Castiel lets a good-humored sigh. “Like many young people these days, Jack prefers to avoid the phone.”

This is a solid riff, and Dean respects it. He picks the table closest to the fire and takes a bench and Cas sits next to him, instead of opposite. Dean thought he managed to break him of this habit a few years ago, but here all things are made whole again.

“So what,” Cas says, without a single molecule of playfulness or seduction, “is it that you want us to show each other?”

“Yeah, I was…it was a dumb joke. But I mean it, just not in a ‘playing doctor’ way.”

Castiel frowns, tightens his lips; the firelight throws a fluttering shadow across his face.

“I mean…Christ.” Dean takes a medicinal slug of his dwindling beer. “I don’t really look like this anymore either, right?” And he gestures at his usual shitshow personal presentation, which death has also noticeably failed to refine.

Castiel frowns, smoothes his hand across the surface of the table. “This is a corporeal world, Dean. It operates on a different set of rules, but your body here is no more of an illusion than it was on earth.”

“Seriously?” Dean ponders a second, squints through the dim light at his fingernails, at the high-resolution grime contained therein. “Jesus, that sounds like a lot of work. At least compared to Holodeck Heaven.”

“It is. But we didn’t build this place to be a...a…doorprize. It’s a real world,” Castiel enthuses, looming forward. “It’s the one that should have been created for all of you in the first place.” He pauses, glances down. “For all of us.”

Dean shrugs. “Okay, so no holograms. I’ll keep all that in mind next time Charlie tries to convince me to go skydiving.”

Castiel snorts, but not in pure aggravation, so Dean feels like he’s finally got a point on the board. “What I’m sayin’ is…physical or not, this place has different rules, right? So could I look at you without my eyeballs exploding? The…you know, the angel parts of you. Not just your vessel,” and Dean fwippies his hand at Cas to indicate that true beauty is contained within and Dean is completely indifferent to the fact this dork-ass alien managed to bodysnatch a guy who’s never dipped below an 8.5.

“It isn’t a vessel anymore. We can create our own bodies, now.”

“Peachy,” Dean clips, because that shit is a little late coming off the line.

Castiel sighs. “You could see me in that form without coming to harm. But you should know that I don’t consider it any more a reflection who I am than this form. Not anymore.”

Dean rolls the bottle towards him, nudges a knuckle. “You’re a real boy now, huh?”

“Yes, I suppose so,” Castiel says, and smiles a smile so small that Dean would need a microscope to figure out if it’s pleased or pained.

So Dean thwacks the bottle down on the totally-real table and claps his totally-real hands. “Well then let’s go. Hit me with that angel weirdness. If we’re gonna do this, I gotta taste all thirty-one flavors.”

Castiel smiles a little more convincingly, but it still doesn’t reach his eyes. “There are really only the two,” he says, and holds his palms out to the warmth of the fire.

“Great, then we’ll be done in time to catch Letterman. Then if you’re good maybe you can help me shimmy out of this thing.”

Cas cocks his head. “Out of which thing?”

“This super real heavenly meat-suit, dude. It’s not fair if only one of us gets naked. Peep show has to go both ways. I see your angel-face, you see my soul.”

Cas looks stricken, like Dean is asking to suck on his toes next to a playground. “I mean, unless that’d fuck you up,” Dean adds.

“No,” Castiel replies, a little absently. “It wouldn’t fuck me up. But it…wouldn’t really accomplish anything, either.”

“What, no soul kink? That’s bullshit and you know it. You love this crap.”

Castiel replies, “Your soul is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen,” with the easy confidence of a regular latte order. With the same uncanny, 2 Blessed 2 B Stressed face he had when Dean plowed Ruby’s knife hilt-deep into Jimmy Novak’s sternum, that he had when the Empty collapsed him like a carcass in an acid bath.

That face shuts Dean right the fuck up, because it sends him skipping backwards into that fucking basement, where his phone is buzzing and the gritty concrete chill of the floor is seeping through his jeans into the useless meat of his legs and leeching into the hot, wet channels of his piece of shit heart.

Turns out you can work up a good little panic attack in heaven, which seems like a significant oversight.

From a million miles away he feels Cas’s warm, dry palm slide over the back of his hand –– there’s a ring there now that Dean lost down a motel sink drain ages ago, is nobody spotting continuity errors here?—then Cas’s hand tightens on his and it feels like a Xanax kicking in. (The good kind, direct from the hot nurse with the little paper cup, not the kind you get in a from a shady burnout at a truckstop, that’s been ground up with baking soda or benadryl and carefully remolded, as if you could possibly give that much of a shit when you’re freaking out bad enough to buy Xanax at a truckstop.)

Point being, he calms the fuck down.

Cas has good hands. They can do a lot of impressive shit, and they look nice doing it. They don’t look like –– they’ve never looked like –– they belong to somebody whose main job is destroying people, places, or things. They’re hands that how to play the cello, or make tables from reclaimed wood, or give soapy, encompassing handjobs in the shower on cold evenings.

“It’s been years, though,” Dean rasps, not looking up yet. “I was a kid when you got me out of Hell, Cas. I’ve done a lot of shit since then. Maybe souls get stretch marks.”

Castiel’s hand tightens on his, clamps it down on the table. “I’ve always been able to see it.”

“Okay,” Dean mumbles, but Cas keeps on going –

“The only time I couldn’t see any part of your soul was when I was without grace, and I promise you that was one of the greatest deprivations imaginable.”

Dean snorts, looks away, but his hand is still on lockdown. “Worse than going hungry, huh?”

“Much.”

“Hey, what about Sam? Or, hell, fucking Donatello. They both were both walking around minus their creamy filling, and you didn’t say boo.”

Cas shrugs. “I can’t see their souls under ordinary circumstances.”

“So what, mine’s just extra loud, or day-glo, or what?”

“It’s both of those things, but that isn’t why,” Cas answers, and the boy is downright wry.

Dean tugs his hand out, raps his knuckles against the wood. “Okay, so stop bein’ coy and tell me before I get a complex. And if you say it’s because of love or some shit, I’m bailing to Rowena’s.”

“You infected me,” Cas says.

“Uh,” says Dean.

The fire pops and a log shifts; Cas glances over at the kerfuffle, absently lifts his fingers to his chin like he’s looking for an old scar. “In Hell, when I retrieved you…I had to grip your raw soul. I was meant to wear a gauntlet, so I wouldn’t be burned.”

Dean snickers. “You’re telling me you were supposed to be wearing a soul condom. What happened, you get too excited and forget to suit up? It’s okay, I know I’m a lot to take in.”

Castiel purses his lips. “No, I was properly armored. But my arm was torn off in combat shortly before I reached you.”

“Ouch.”

“Ouch,” Cas agrees. “I didn’t have time to retrieve the arm or its protection from the pit, so I had to grow a new one very quickly.”

Dean really should’ve switched to whiskey before starting this. “What, you didn’t pack a spare?” He wheezes.

“Ordinarily, yes, I would have had the resources, but I was equipped very lightly for that mission. It was a raid, not a siege. You understand the difference.”

“Sure, yeah, you left your emergency arms in the trunk. So you just popped out a new one. No big.”

“It was a big. Your soul was close enough that it forced me to grow a human arm, instead of a much quicker and more powerful extensor.”

“Okay, uh,” Dean pinches at the bridge of his nose, “there’s a lot to unpack there.”

“What part of it confuses you?”

“I dunno, the bit where apparently angels are I guess heavenly octopuses,”

“The plural in the Greek is octopodes,” Cas interjects, not without pleasure.

Dean glowers. “Or the part where you can apparently swap in different drill bits,” Dean continues,

“Mm,” Cas notes, careful not to open his mouth,

“Or that I, like, accidentally bullied you into growing a person arm,” and Dean pauses for breath here, which Cas evidently takes as permission to dive in with more Planet Earth commentary.

“The natural environment of the human soul is a human body,” he says. “Humans have yet to meet a foreign substrate that they don’t immediately attempt to colonize. My form in Hell was not an exception.” Then he shuts his mouth very deliberately and gestures back to Dean like his mic is going live in three, two.

“Or the bit where my soul gave you some kind of STD?” Dean finishes.

“It was a poor analogy. I apologize.”

“So what’s a better one?”

Castiel drums his fingers for a second, listens to the fire pop in its little cage. “It’s more like…the way a parasitic jewel wasp injects a cockroach with venom, and transforms it into a willing host for wasp larvae.”

“Holy shit are you ever bad at this,” Dean says, with that signature brand of fond horror he special-orders just for Castiel, Angel of the Gourd.

“What I’m trying to avoid saying,” Castiel sighs, “is that you rubbed off on me.”

Dean nods. “Yeah. That’s fair. I wouldn’t be dumb enough to say that around me, either.” He lays a couple little pats on Cas’s hand. “Lookit you, though, seeing around that corner. I’m proud of you, man. That would’ve totally flipped your breaker back in the day.”

“Just one of the many ways you have reshaped me, Dean,” Cas says, with warm sarcasm.

“Alright, so you rawdogged me, I whammied you. Chocolate, peanut butter, peanut butter, chocolate.”

Cas’s forehead wrinkles in skepticism. “I still prefer the cockroach. But some part of your soul injected itself into one of my more exposed frequencies. Under different circumstances, I would’ve stopped and excised the affected area before it spread, but. I was being pursued, and the mission had taken much longer than any of us anticipated.”

“Us? Thought it was just you down there.”

Cas looks vaguely offended, straightens and folds his arms like he just remembered he’s giving a deposition. “No, of course not. Michael assigned sixty-six angels in eleven groups of six, each escorted to the field by a seraph. We struck simultaneously at six different areas in perdition. From there we dispersed to individual targets –– to cause as much chaos as possible in order to help obscure the object of our mission, and to increase the odds that one of us would actually find you.”

“And you were the lucky winner.” Dean pushes down a touch of sick shame at the thought of it — he’d been coiled up like a snake around somebody else’s torment, anesthetized by it. It was one of the random rags of infernal time where his own pain decreased in proportion to how much he dealt out, and that was the closest thing Hell had to a Friday night.

“I was,” Castiel nods. “I took some liberties with my assignment,” he adds, squinting. “I flattered myself that I shared a special affinity with The Righteous Man.”

“That guy always sounded like kind of a cunt to me,” Dean notes. “You know, not withstanding the fact that I’m him.”

Castiel shrugs. “I found you, and I did what was necessary to save you, and my siblings did what was necessary to save me.” A little falter enters his voice. “Only twelve of us returned from that mission.” Cas looks up, out, away. A dove coos somewhere nearby of the Roadhouse; did it have a run-in with the windshield of an eighteen wheeler one day and show up here, Dean wonders, or does heaven make its own birds from scratch? That’s gotta be a softball compared to whether Betelgeuse is still open for business.

Castiel waits until the bird shuts up, then says, “Of those twelve surviving angels, I personally murdered nine, in everything that followed.”

After a moment Dean says “Yeah,” with practiced neutrality. He’s got some similar tallies, written in Sharpie on the back of his eyelids.

Cas sighs and his attention comes back down to the table. “By the time I received the authority to restore your soul to your body, the infection had spread almost past the point of containment. That’s why I resisted taking a vessel at first. I worried that occupying a human form would speed up the process.”

“Hey now. I thought you showed up naked because you thought I’d be one of those special people,” Dean quips, “Who can handle angel stuff without going all kibbles ’n bits.”

“That was only a partial truth.”

Dean tips the beer bottle in salute. “You’re a real special flavor of asshole, Cas.”

“So I’ve been told. I was right, though. When I took Jimmy as a vessel, I contracted — condensed — myself very severely. The infection had a much shorter distance to travel to reach all of my extremities, and a human form was the most hospitable environment possible.”

“You got a raging case of the Deans.”

Cas’s head kicks back in a laugh that kinda surprises them both. “Yes,” he says, grinning. “I did. I was very displeased, and very concerned I’d be found out and judged unfit for duty. And I very much was. Unfit, that is. Though I was not found out.”

“C’mon, never? You went rogue on the company.”

“Uriel suspected. Naomi certainly detected it later, as did Metatron. But in the moment, no. The Host’s attention was focused on the Apocalypse ahead, not on debriefing a mission that was considered a success. After the Cage was closed, I had too much influence to come under that level of scrutiny.”

“Hmh.” Dean realizes he’s been systematically picking down the label on the beer bottle, so he sets it on the ground before he gets sticky little shreds everywhere. “So I gotta ask. My little souvenir, the handprint. That’s where you grabbed me, with your lil…Mister Potato Head human arm?”

“It is.”

“If I’m the one who infected you, how come I’m the one who got burned?”

“My hand didn’t burn you.”

“Well, it ain’t fingerpaint.”

“Your own soul burned it, as it flowed out of your flesh and into mine. It burned until the moment when I finally released you from my grip. My hand healed itself; your arm did not.” Castiel gives a thin scoff. “I hadn’t planned to leave you interred.”

“Oh, no? Well that’s nice to hear, you know, a decade after the fact. I still have nightmares about that shit.”

Castiel winces. “It’s no excuse, but I was in a great deal of…the equivalent of pain. It took an immense effort to break off the inflow of your soul, and when I did manage it, I was thrown quite a ways by the recoil. By the time I recovered enough to return, you were already looting a gas station,” He finishes, dryly.

“Yeah, well, Dad didn’t think much of leisure as a virtue. Also I was thirsty, because I’d just crawled out of my own grave.”

“And I was distracted, because I’d just fought my way out of the inferno while being digested by a demented human soul.”

“You wanna call it even?”

Cas lifts his brows. “If you don’t mind.”

There is a long, dark breath, during which their little smiles fade.

“So, all that,” Dean says, because he’s a fucking coward.

“All that,” says Cas, because he isn’t.

Dean clears his throat. “That means you can see my soul-stuff 24/7, huh?”

Castiel slides one leg up onto the bench, shifts to sit astride it, like he’s maybe about to deliver an after-school PSA on the Real Deal About Drugs. “I can always see myself, and extensions of my self. And since your soul made itself into an integral part of me…I can see you.”

“I take it that’s not exactly in the manual.”

“No. I didn’t entirely understand it at first — for a long time, I convinced myself it was because you were designed to be a celestial vessel, and that I had been destined to save you from Hell.”

That thin, acidic feelings starts to rise up in Dean’s chest again. “Do you…” A dry swallow reflex grabs his throat. “Hm. Fuck.”

“What?” Cas asks, scooting forward. An angel. Scooting. What a world. “You can ask me anything, Dean. I hope we’re both past being offended.”

“Have you ever thought that. This whole deal. Our…thing.” Dean lets out a breath. “The way you feel about me. The way I feel about you.”

“Do I worry that its only basis is our shared material?”

Dean licks his lips, works a jaw muscle, forces out a nod.

Cas frowns, sets one elbow up against the table, then lets his head tip to the side. “Why do you love Sam?”

Dean rolls his eyes. “Yeah, I get it, he’s my brother. We got shared material, too. But we’re not talking genetics.”

“Genes were the initial basis of your love for Sam. But you share half as much material with Adam. Do you love him fifty percent as much as you do Sam?”

“One, love doesn’t work that way and you know it, and two, fucking of course not. I barely know the guy, and what I’ve seen didn’t exactly blow me away.” Not that the poor dumb kid ever really had a chance. “Sam’s Sam, he’s earned it a million times over just by bein’ him.”

“Then you understand.”

“But Cas, man…I…” Dean laughs, which is an abbreviated form of screaming, “I treated you like shit.”

Cas nods. “You did.”

“Okay, the rules say you’re not supposed to agree with me.”

“But the balance remains in your favor. Dean, are you genuinely afraid that you — care for me…” and Dean can hear the FCC live-bleep in that one, like does his total cowardice have a special color Cas can see with his soul-o-vision? “Only out of some compulsion?”

“No,” Dean says, to the great surprise of his frontal cortex, which was busy kicking the shit out of itself. “No,” he says again, just to make sure it wasn’t a fluke, that that answer actually came out of him and entered the living air between them.

Then the wave is rolling towards him and he enters that slim moment of body-physics where you either take a lungful and commit to diving under the break, or you kick out against the undertow, arch your back to meet the blow, and let yourself be flown all the way up to the waiting shore––

“No,” Dean says, “I love you.” And he chokes up a little, first at the release of saying it, then at how much of exactly jack-shit it changes anything so what was he even scared of, and then at the look on Cas’s face: how he’s frozen. Like that dog from that video, the one that loved tennis balls so goddamn much that his owner bought him a thousand fucking tennis balls and dumps them out all at once and the dog absolutely stalls the fuck out, just seconds on end of underspecced dog-brain hang time before he finally snaps back to reality and loses his absolute shit scrabbling all over the porch.

Castiel comes back online with a little choking noise of his own, and a kind of awkward scrabble for Dean’s hand.

“I have for a long time,” Dean continues, because apparently he’s continuing, “I’ve loved you for fucking ages, Cas. In people years, anyway, I’m sure that mean’s fuckall to somebody who’s a zillion––”

“I don’t,” Cas says thickly, “really give a damn about the age difference, Dean,” and cracks into a chuckle.

“So how come you never knew it?” Dean asks, feeling freedom turn into a hunger or something like vertigo. “If you can see my soul, how could you not know?”

Cas shrugs, a bit helplessly.

“Seriously,” Dean laughs, “how did I manage to hide that shit so well? Sammy found every nudie mag I ever shoplifted.”

Cas shakes his head. “You’ve never actually been able to hide anything from me.”

Dean scoffs. “C’mon, man. I snowed you plenty, or else we woulda had this conversation dirtside a long time ago.”

“Whatever I missed, Dean…it wasn’t because you succeeded at hiding it,” Castiel says, softly. He takes a slow, shaky breath, and meets Dean’s eyes with a smile. He lifts a hand to Dean’s face, bone and flesh on flesh and bone. “I just loved you enough to look away.”

It’s a long time before they go back inside. By any measure. {AO3}

#spn fanfiction #spn 15x20 #destiel #deancas #dean winchester #castiel #bless you all for your sexy and angsty coda fics please enjoy this massive wodge of angel lore wankery dating back 11 seasons

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im-happy-at-home · 6 years

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So I just found out that it was recently the anniversary of the release of the masterpiece that is A Day at the Races and so I wanted to share a rant I wrote in the middle of the night, sleep deprived listening to the album. A fair warning: I am incredibly enthusiastic and easy to rile up when I’m tired, plus spelling will probably wrong, as well as grammar. So anyways here is me making a fool of myself on the internet. Notice I get louder and louder as time progresses.

Anyways, enjoy!

A Day at the Races is so good that my brain cannot compute.

Tie your mother down, with that gong opening and guitar solo is like the beginning of an epic movie or something.

You take my breath away? Eerily beautiful and sad. “I get ever so lonely from time to time” stood out to me so much and omg I cry

Long Away? Is like? Such an Underrated song? I felt like I was leaving home or something and about to go away on a long journey, both excited about where I’m headed yet sad to leave behind everything. But then it’s also like I’m stuck in a place on my way somewhere longing to get where I wanna be but also go back to where I came from? I’m here, somewhere in between? Nowhere to go? How could a 3 minute 30 second song do this to me???? BRIAN HAROLD WILLAM MAY YOU ARE A GENIUS (author’s note: I don’t think that’s his real full name)

Don’t get me fricking started on Millionaire Waltz. It’s fricking beautiful when the opening has Freddie’s piano playing in one ear and John’s bass playing in the other, then they slowly merge together with the opening lyrics? And like that says a lot about their friendship?? Freddie’s bouncy and flowery and energetic piano and Deaky’s chill but complex bass riff?? Merging together in perfect harmony???? Also Freddie is at his peak here I swear.

“Do you reMEEEEEEEmmmber?” YOURE DOING AMAZING SWEETIE

“Coooome baaaack toooooo MEEEEEEE” YOURE DOING EVEN BETTER SWEETIE

BRIAN LEGIT SNAPPED WHEN HE MADE THIS GUITAR SOLO ITS AMAZING!!! AND ROGERS DRUMMING CHANGES THE WHOLE TONE TOTALLY AND ARGWJQKSOSOEKEJSJ then the fricking WALTZ WITH THE MULTIPLE GUITARS AND RICH BASS AND BOUNCING PIANO KEYS AND THE CYMBAAALS the it slows down with Freddie and his voice and tHEN IT GETS THE FUCK BACK UP IM TIRED OF CENSORING MYSELF THIS IS A BEAUTIFUL TRACK THE HARMONIES ARE MY SEXUALITY I SWEAR I FEEEL LIKEEE A MILLIOOOONAAAIRE

You and I is a BOP! John really has a way with songs that get stuck in your head for fuckING DAYS “JUST YOOOUUU AND IIII LAUGHTER RINGING IN THE DARKNESS PEOPLE DRINKING TO DAYS GOOONEE BYYYYY” im soft i want a love like this OH GOD THE FEELS

Also, “You know I could never see the futile, you know I could never see where life is leading me, but will we be toGETHER FOREEEVER?” “i don’t know” is such a MOOD. Deaky marry me I love you I wanna be your best friend.

Then the masterpiece that is SOMEBODY TO LOVE is on next. Of COURSE it is. From one FUCKING banger to the next. Do I even need to emphasize how much I fucking love this song????? The HARMONIES, the PIANO, the BASS, GUITAR SOLO, the CYMBALS, the “SOOOOoooommBOOOOddyyy to LOOOooooOoOoVe,” the Roger SCREECH, then, THEN......

“find me somebody to LOOOVE, find me somebody to LOOOOVVEEE, find me somebody to LOOOOOVE, FIND ME SOMEBODY TO LOOOOVE, SOMEBODY SOMEBODY SOMEBODY SOMEBODY”

“can annyYBOODDYY FIND MEEEE”

“somebody TOoooooOoooOOOO...”

“LooOOOOOOOoooOoooooVEEEEEEEE”

I fucking love this song.

Alright here we go with White Man. I have actually never heard this song. Brian’s guitar is killing here. WOAH THE DRUM JUST JUMPING IN ON ME LIKE THAT IM SHIVERING I LEGIT GOT CHILLS OH MY THE DRUMS BANgING IN THEBACKGROUND THE GUITAR RIGHT IN MY EAR THE BASS IS TIGHT FREDDIE IS IN PRIME ROCK AND ROLL MODE HERE and boy this song got too real too fast and I am LIVING FOR IT YOURE KILLING IT BOYS THIS IS A BANGER “WHITE MAN WHITE MAN WHITE MAN WHITE MAN” SMASH THOSE CYMBALSSSSS ROGER YAS Freddie you’re voice and Brian’s guitar is just...music to my ears hehehehe lame joke. BOOM that drum ending though WOOH what a rush

YAAAAAS GOOD OLD FASHIONED LOVER BOY “I CAN SERENADE AND GENTLY PLAY ON YOUR HEARTSTRINGS BE A VALENTINO JUST FOR YOUUUUU”

“oooooh LOVE oooooh LOVER BooooOOOOY WHAT YOU DOING TONIGHT hEy BoY”

This song is amazingggggg every single member is able to shine here. Piano, drums, guitar, bass, and all those extra quirks make this song this is so underrated UGH

“Wheeeeeeen I’m nooottt WiiThhhh YOooUuuu THINK OF ME ALWAYS love youuu LOVE YOUuuuuuu”

BEST SONG EVER UGH WHAT AN UNDERRATED BOP

Drowse. What. A. Song. Roger has never sounded better in my opinion. I can totally get lost in his voice and the instrumentals in the back. Wow. I just feel so at peace

“It’s a fantastic drowse of the afternoooooon suuuuundays” awww yes life makes sense now

“IT AINT EASY FOR A SMALL TIME BOY IT AINT EASY AT ALL” awww Rog my baby

“THINKING IT RIGHT, DOING IT WRONG” roG ME TOO ME TOO I WANNA GIVE YOU A HUG

I think this is one of my favorite songs. With the quiet chatter as the song fades.....what a chaotic yet serene song I just cannot Roger Taylor you are so much more than a car fucker I’m sorry if I ever doubted you THE WORLD IS BLESSED TO HAVE YOU

Awww the final song. What is this? Teo Torriate? This keyboard is sick!

Oooh my god Freddie!!! “When I’m goooone no need to wonder if I ever think of yoooooouuu” I ALWAYS THINK OF YOU FREDDIE

Wow this song is —

I had to stop for a while and really listen to the song as a whole. This song is amazing, especially with the references Freddie makes about how when he’s gone, not to forget him and the lessons we have learned. The final part where it seems like a whole crowd is singing along is like for me as if the whole world is singing along and continuing the legacy of Queen. Plus I’m listening to this at midnight dead tired and hearing Freddie say “Close your pretty eyes and be with me” or something along those lines was an almost spiritual experience.This is such a powerful song it’s like Freddie’s singing about not being sad that he is gone and instead celebrate what we’ve gone through together. “Let the candle always burn, let us never loose the lessons we have learned.” I’m not crying my eyes are just sweating.

Wow. I’m done. I’ve listened to the whole of A Day at the Races. Wow. I just can’t believe how this album isn’t as well known as some of their others. There’s a track for literally everybody, and a lot of these songs have such deep and meaningful lyrics and melodies. I have just reached another level of peace and enlightenment after this album. Queen, you make living life so much better. If this isn’t Queen at their best then I don’t know if I can handle them at their best.

So here’s the end of my sleep deprived rant. I’m sorry if it’s so long, I guess I’m just really passionate at 1 am. If you guys want me to pull another allnighter, let me know what album I should do next. Thanks guys!

I sounded so high and drunk at the same time. Gawd. High on Queen I guess.

#sleep deprived queen listening party #im so tired but it was worth it #queen #queen band #freddie mercury #brian may #john deacon #roger taylor #a day at the races #bohemian rhapsody #bohemian rhapsody movie #deaky #deacy

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catchingthoughtstheblog · 2 years

Text

Delayed In Iowa

Wow! Wow! Just Woooooow! Who else would like to spend four and half hours sitting on a somewhat soft cushioned chair, in an altitude that seems to be causing the walls of your nose to cave in? Anyone? We’ll guess what, I am and I wouldn’t trade if or anything. Allow you to share with you how I became delayed in Iowa!

To share with you how this entire debacle occured, you must first understand what I’m even doing in Iowa of all places. I’m a country boy from Sylvester, Georgia. Raised in Avon Park, Florida and entrusted with my legacy in Tampa, Florida. So what’s in Iowa? Clearly no sun shines in the heart of April. So what... well only the best 2nd Amendment company in all of the western world, Brownells, Inc. I’m here in Iowa for a weeked at the illustrious Headquarters of Brownells, Inc. for a Bureau of Propaganda (BOP) Field Agent Weekend. I’ll be meeting up with a few other guys from Instagram that I’m familiar with their work but have never met in real life. That all is set to change this weekend.

Boarding out of TSA in Tampa was quick and easy. Seems everyone wants to fly Delta now that the mandatory mask mandate has been lifted. The lines were backed up out the door. I politely went right back outside and paid my check in at the curb, gladly paid the extra $3 and then proceeded to walk past everyone that clearly had been standing there for a very long time. Security check was quick, BOW👊🏿💢👊🏿BOW! Boarding was great, BOW👊🏿💢👊🏿BOW! Flight was a little rocky but we’ll attribute that to the change in climate. All of that said, here's where the thick of it comes in. 3 and a half hours later, we landed in St. Paul, Iowa. While landing, the pilot comes on the PA and says, “there’s more traffic than usual on the tarmac. We’ll have you guys over as soon as possible. Shortly after this I get an alert on my phone saying the flight has been rescheduled. Now, I don’t fly that often and so I think it strange but again what I can do? We aren’t even standing up to walk up the aisle as of yet. So as we finally do get off the plane you can hear the chattering begin to get louder. Again, I’m from itty bitty Avon Park, by way of Tampa, Florida, and I’m here representing Brownells... I don’t want to be apart of no drama, so I keep it pushing. All of sudden one of the young ladies I remember when flying out of Tampa, begins to shout. She’s saying, “Somebody needs to fix it! Somebody needs to fix it now! I aint playing!” As one who conceal carry, I’m not noisy but my attention is definitely peeked. Come to find out the alert that I received from the Delta App was actually happening; I HAD MISSED MY FREAKING CONNECTING FLIGHT TO DES MOINES!!!! What The Crap!

At this time now I realized I too need to get closer to the crowd of individuals huddled up and conversing. I wait my turn to speak with the attendant and yelp, my connecting flight has already departed. I’ve been automatically rescheduled to the next flight at 7:45pm. Wait, the current time is 3:24pm... My flight left at 3:15pm... We didn’t get off the plane until about 3:10pm... My flight began boarding at 2:45pm... WHILE I WAS STILL IN THE FREAKING AIR!!!! I am now apart of this group of unruly patrons who just want to get where they are going. Likewise, I just want to connect with my BOP Boys and enjoy the weekend! Not yet for me... I’m here at this beautiful airport with 4 hours to make use of. But guess what? I will choose to be happy! I will choose to be thankful! I’ll grab my phone and shoot some content and write and read. I have 4 hours to check some boxes and that’s what I plan to do! I’m sure you’ll hear from me again very soon. I’ll be connecting with the other Field Agents around 9pm and the night will still be younge! Until next time, Never Compare - Never Complain - & Never Compete...Why...Because You Are The Threat!

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firelord-frowny · 2 years

Text

ranting about ~gun control debates~

the ~pro-gun~ camp will cry until the cows come home about how ~i have a Right To Bear Arms and You Can’t Take Away My Rights~ which might SOUND like a neat lil patriotic argument but liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiike....

people have their rights taken away all the fuckin time???

people have a right to ~life and liberty~ and yet cops be killing people dead all the time, and only SOME of those times are for understandable, unavoidable reasons. we have a right to ~life and liberty~ and yet STATE SANCTIONED MURDER is still a legitimate punishment that can be forced upon people. supposedly it’s only for people who are known without a doubt to be guilty, yet it STILL happens where people are executed despite their being reasonable doubt about whether or not they Did It. people have a right to ~life and liberty~ but pretty much every one on earth agrees that there are some people who are menaces to society and that those people must be forcibly put somewhere where they’re no longer a threat to The Public.

WE TAKE AWAY RIGHTS ALL THE TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIME!

you’ll bitch about ~big gubmint comin into my house and takin my gun Just Because I Beat My Wife Sometimes~ but you aint sayin shit in defense of, i dunno, jeffery dahmer when he gets locked up for eating his boyfriends. either rights are 100% ~inalienable~ or they’re not, dipshit! either there are legitimate reasons for depriving someone of something that ordinarily couldn’t be taken from them, or there aren’t!

also????????????????????????

i made the Don’t Read The Comments mistake on a video of a dude pointing his shotgun at a burglar as the burglar tries to run off with the dude’s TV. burglar sees the business end of that gun and reasonably decides that he doesn’t need a TV after all. puts it down, lays on the ground, and the dude holds the gun on him until cops arrive.

cue a debate about whether or not it’s ethical to use potentially deadly force to protect property since like... obviously the thief was already leaving and most likely was not gonna put the TV in his getaway car and then turn right around and come back and injure the home owners. so like... if the homeowner had fired on him, that woulda been Pretty Fucked Up, because you don’t fucking kill people just for inconveniencing you. But thankfully, it didn’t come to that, and personally, while i think it would be absolutely vile and barbaric to shoot someone who’s not showing any signs of intending to harm you or another human being, i don’t think i have much of an issue with somebody using a gun to intimidate a thief into putting your shit down and running away - especially since you won’t know until you confront them whether or not they are also armed and willing to cause harm. but most likely they’re gonna see your gun and piss off.

ANYWAY,

barbarians in the comments are like ~i don’t understand why people always say you Can’t Shoot Someone To Protect Property, like i didn’t spend hours and hours of my life making a living so i could own that property, Blah Blah, property = time = life, so i’m Perfectly Justified in murdering someone who tries to steal my property~

and like

a few Bare Minimum Decent human beings bothered to point out that even cops are not allowed to use deadly force just to protect property (not that cops are a shining beacon of Appropriate Usage Of Deadly Force) and that there are appropriate means of punishing someone for property damage/theft and none of those means, under the law, include death. like, there are things you’re allowed to do to protect your property and Kill Anyone Who Tries To Take It is not one of them.

but of course that doesn’t stop these weirdo gun-loving barbarians from proudly boasting that ~if you touch my stuff, you’re getting shot~

which, to me, is EXACTLY the most common kind of person who should never ever ever be allowed to have a gun. legit, if you get caught even SAYING that you’d be eager to shoot someone who’s running away with your TV, that right there should snatch gun ownership right out from under you, you fucking monster omfg what is WRONG with you????

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troublemakerfiction · 6 years

Text

34.

Millz

“That’s a pretty color; all of our dresses will be like that?” I asked Darnell after showed me what she wanted the bridesmaid’s dresses for her wedding to look like.

We were in the TV room in my house since I wasn’t allowed to leave to be on my feet for no more than an hour. Trouble was out doing whatever he does during the day, the only kid here was Malachi and he was in his little rocker minding his business.

“The bridesmaids yeah, but you’re the maid of honor so your dress will be made different. It’ll be the same color though.”

“I should’ve known y’all was going to have blue and white everything; fake ass crips.”

“Fuck you,” Darnell laughed. “It’s going to be bomb and lucky for you it’s a year away so you’ll have your body to yourself. You won’t be all swollen in my wedding pictures.”

“That’s great to know.” I sat back against the couch letting out a deep sigh.

“What is wrong with you?” Darnell looked at me confused.

“I’m bored; the only time I leave the house is to go to the doctor. He doesn’t let me do anything else, and I’m fucking hungry.”

I’ve been on house arrest oh my bad bed rest for two months now and it’s annoying as fuck, just like I knew it would be. For the first few weeks Trouble stayed with me but it would be unrealistic for him to be here all day every day with me for the next few months. The only reasons I haven’t gone coo coo for coco puffs is because Malachi is here and taking care of him gives me something to do.

“What did you eat today?”

“A nasty ass egg white sandwich, no salt no pepper, no cheese just dry ass egg whites.” I answered her while rolling my eyes.

“You sound upset,” She laughed.

“This shit aint funny, I’m never getting pregnant again. I’m done for real.”

“Oh please, you’re going to pop out that big head boy then get knocked up again. Just watch and see,”

“Shut up,” I chuckled. During my last appointment I found out that I was having another boy and it was a bittersweet feeling. Sweet because the sex really didn’t matter too much to me and it was bitter because it’s enough boys in this house already; another one definitely wasn’t needed.

“Can you have sex?”

“Yeah but he doesn’t want to with his scary ass. He’s really taking this bed rest shit too literal.”

The morning I was released from the hospital the doctor gave me specific instructions about what I can and cannot do. Now I was told that I couldn’t go to work, and I couldn’t be involved in anything that would stress me out.

I don’t know what the fuck Trouble was listening to because he’s on some extra shit. When he is home if I’m on my feet for more than an hour he’s fussing at me to go lay down. He’s too damn scared to have sex, talking about he doesn’t want me doing too much. Mind you I ask my doctor every time I see her can we have sex and she says yes, while he’s standing right there but he’s not trying to hear that shit at all.

“So he’s scared to fuck you?” Darnell questioned then busted out laughing like something was so damn funny. “All of this, is the exact reason Zaria is going to be an only child.”

“Yeah right,”

“I’m dead ass; Xavier and I are completely fine with her being the only child.”

“You don’t want any more kids?”

“Not really, I mean if it happens we’ll be happy about it but we’re not planning on having more. Besides, Trouble has newborn; you and Gianna are both pregnant. Another baby is not needed in the mix right now. Between the mommy and auntie duties I already have I’m good.”

“I feel you; I ended up with this many kids by default. It’s not like I’m just out popping babies out.”

“True, what is going on with baby boy’s mama anyway?”

“Nothing, she meets Trouble somewhere every Saturday to see him and it’s going to continue to be like this until she gets it together.”

After Nicki did all that bullshit at our house Trouble took it to the family lawyer I told him about and filed to get custody of Malachi. He was awarded temporary custody with Nicki only getting supervised visits with him on Saturdays.

I feel bad for a little bit because Malachi is her child and I remember how I felt when Cameron told me he was going to go for full custody. That shit eventually faded away because Nicki brought it all on herself, nobody told her stupid ass to come to my house drunk causing a ruckus.

“You don’t go to their meetups?”

“No, I don’t need to see that bitch. I’m trying to avoid stress not have the shit sitting right across from me.”

“Well I hope y’all get all that baby mama shit worked out. The kids are good right? I know you said Dyce was still acting different.”

“Yeah, that same funk he was in around Christmas time is back and its worse.”

Dyce and Darius’ fourth birthday is this weekend coming up and Dyce isn’t happy. He was fine up until a few days ago then his attitude flipped the script. He acted the same way around the Holidays. The closer it got to Christmas the worse his attitude got. I know it’s because his father isn’t here and I don’t know what to do about it because that’s not something I can fix.

“You’re still having their birthday party here?”

“Yeah, Trouble’s mother and Alex are going to come over and help me decorate the house that morning while he takes them out to get haircuts and stuff.”

“What’s the theme?”

“Paw Patrol, i got somebody to dress up like the damn dogs to keep the kids occupied or whatever. I let them both invite five people from their class to be there so it won’t just be family. It’s going to be really cute and annoying at the same time.”

“Aww, those are your babies you know you love spoiling them.”

“Spoil my ass, the most money I’m spending is going to be on decorations and that’s only because of how I am.” I don’t like for things to be half ass, if I’m going to do I’m going in for it. It was going to be like a damn Marvel fest in this bitch when I’m done.

“Hopefully it’ll have Dyce is a better mood.”

“I don’t know what to do about it. I know the hurt he feels about his dad being gone but he’s four years old. Is it weird that I didn’t expect it to hit him so hard?”

“I wouldn’t say it’s weird but some kids are more advanced than others. You’re finding the way he’s taking it weird because Darius isn’t acting the same way.”

“Well yeah, they’re the same age.”

“Yeah but they’re two totally different kids. I’m not saying Darius is stupid because he’s smart too but Dyce is like another level of smart. How many 3 year olds talk and acts the way he does?”

“I just thought of it as him being too damn grown,” I shrugged my shoulders.

“No he’s smart so he knows what his father being dead means and it’s hurting him. Ooh and look just like you instead of just being hurt he’s turning it into anger.” She said then looked at me with a side eye.”

‘What? Why you looking at me like that?”

“I used to think Dyce was like Uncle Darius but now that I really pay attention I’m seeing that he’s just like you.”

“What?” I looked at her confused.

“Dyce acts just like you nigga, you heard me.”

“I don’t know about all of that.”

“Yes you do Dyce is like you, stubborn, mean, and short- tempered. Darius is just like Prophet, he doesn’t listen to no damn body with his hard headed ass but he’s a good kid.”

“Darnell shut up and just tell me what I’m supposed to about him and his attitude.”

“Talk to him, and I mean really talk to him Millz. Don’t think that because he’s only 3 that he doesn’t understand certain shit. That little boy is far from stupid, he’s smart and he understands the things going on around him. You better recognize that shit.”

***

Looking down at my side I smiled when I saw Karma with her arms wrapped about my leg. The rest of the kids were running around the living room having fun but she was off to the side. I knew it was only because Dyce and Darius were busy with their friends from school and Zaria wasn’t here yet.

It’s been a little over a month since Karma has officially moved in with us. I have custody right now and I plan on going for full adoption pretty soon. One thing about Karma is she’s really shy; it takes her a cool minute to warm up to people. Once she’s comfortable her personality really shines through. Karma literally has to be the sweetest little girl I’ve ever come in contact with and I always wonder where the hell that comes from because both of her birth parents were far from sweet.

Fortunately for me she has a good relationship with her brothers; she’s obsessed with both Malachi and Trouble. If she isn’t up under me she’s following Trouble around the house and he loves every minute of it.

“What’s wrong?” I asked her.

“I want a hotdog,”

“Okay go in the kitchen and tell Siah to give you one.” She nodded then ran out the room.

“She is so cute,” Imani said while she held Malachi in her arms. ”What is a Siah though? Who is that?”

“Trouble, she can’t pronounce Messiah too correctly so she calls him Siah.” I answered her.

“Oh, what do Darius and Dyce call him?”

“His name, well Darius calls him by his name. Dyce hasn’t really been fucking with him too heavy.” I said while shaking my head.

“Why not?”

“He’s not Cameron,” I said simply.

Before Cameron’s death Dyce was fine around Trouble, he would talk to him and everything. After his dad was gone he distanced himself from Trouble; he rarely speaks to him at all and I know it’s because he’s still mourning the death of his father. I leave it alone for now because I understand but the moment his little ass crosses the line we’re going to have an issue.

“Aww poor baby, you need to talk to Dyce. That boy walks around looking depressed.”

“I know I’m going to handle it.” I told her just as the doorbell rang. I got up and walked out of my perfectly decorated living room and went to open the door.

“Hey munchkin,” I smiled when my eyes landed on Zaria. I got down as low as I could and hugged her. Once I let her go she went running to the living room.

“You got a house full huh? It’s mad cars outside; we had to park around the corner.” Darnell said in a joking tone when she and Xavier walked in.

“Yeah which means I have a few of melanin-deficient people in here so keep it cool. I don’t need these bitches talking shit about me at PTA meetings and shit.” Dyce and Darius invited 10 kids from their class to the party so it was 10 sets of parents in my house right now. 5 out of those 10 were white which is weird because I’m not used to entertaining white folks I’m not making money off of. keeping their cool. As long as they kept it that way we’re good.

“I got you,”

“Where’s Trouble?”

“I put him on hotdog duty, as a matter of fact Xavier you can go help him. Please.” I smiled at him.

“I should let his ass do it by himself but I got you.” He started to walk towards the kitchen patting his pockets then stopped. “Shit I forgot my phone in the car I’ll be back then I’ll go help him.” He kissed Darnell’s cheek then went out the front door closing it behind him.

Darnell and I went into the living room where the other parents were sitting down talking among st each other.

“This is really cute; damn can you do Zaria’s birthday for me?” Darnell asked me as she looked around the living room.

“Or nah,” I answered.

“That’s messed up,” She shook her head at me.

“No it’s not. Oh we can do their parties together; Karma’s is a week before Zaria’s.”

“She’s a Leo too?”

“Yeah, it’ll be way easier that way instead of us both throwing big parties. We can just do one nice cute one; they’re only a year apart and joined at the hip already so I know they like the same things.

“Cool with me, less money for me to spend.”

“Cheap ass,” I chuckled.

“Millz,” I looked up to see it was Kason calling me. “Trouble said are you ready to give out cake?”

“Yeah,” I looked over at Darius and the boys he was playing with but Dyce wasn’t with him.

“Is Dyce in the kitchen?”

“Nah, he never came in there.”

“Alright, tell him I’m ready but give me a minute.” I got up and went upstairs to see if he dipped off up there.

When I got to his and Darius’ bedroom I opened the door and saw him lying on his bed.

“Dyce,” I said his name but he didn’t move. I went over to the bed and turned him over. When I saw tears on his face I got extremely confused, he was just fine and playing downstairs.

“What’s wrong? Why are you crying?”

“I want my daddy,” He said in a low voice but I heard him loud and clear as if he screamed it at the top of his lungs. Honestly it hurt me because I can’t fix it, there’s nothing I can do about his dad not being here.

I pulled him onto my lap the best way I could despite my stomach poking out.

“I know you want your dad. I want my dad a lot of times too. You know what Uncle Nasir told me when I used to cry for mine?”

“What?”

“That he’s watching everything I do, and he wants to be happy. I know your dad wants you happy too, he wouldn’t want you sad and crying on your birthday.”

“Why is he in heaven?”

“He’s in heaven because a very bad man hurt him; he was too hurt to stay here so God took him back to Heaven with him.”

“Is the bad man going to hurt you too?”

“No, thanks to Messiah and your Uncle Vick he’s never going to hurt anybody ever again.” I answered him then kissed his forehead. “I know you miss your dad and I know it hurts your feelings that he’s not here but I promise it’s going to get better, okay?”

“Okay,” he nodded his head. “Is Siah your boyfriend?”

“Yeah, I thought we talked about that already?” I asked with a laugh.

“Is he your husband?”

“No, but he probably will be one day if he plays his cards right.”

“Is he my new daddy? I don’t want a new one.”

“Dyce what are you talking about?”

“Dari said Siah is our new dad,”

“Is that why you’ve been acting funny? You think he’s trying to replace your father?” I asked, it wasn’t even really directed towards him; it was more so a rhetorical question. I figured that’s why he’s been distant from Trouble lately but he’s basically confirming it for me now.

Before I could say anything else the bedroom door closing caught our attention. We both looked up to see Trouble standing there.

Trouble

“How long have you been standing there?” Millz asked me when she and Dyce looked up.

“That doesn’t matter. Let me speak to him for a minute.”

Hearing him ask his mother if I was his new dad really put things in perspective for me. For the last few weeks he’s been acting different. He wasn’t really talking to me or coming near me period. I went in front of her and kneeled down so I was face to face with Dyce. I figured it was because of how he feels about his father so I never said anything; this whole thing just gave me the confirmation I needed.

“Go ahead and speak I’m not stopping you.”

“I mean as is you go downstairs and check on everything while I talk to him.” I could tell she wanted to fight me so she could be nosy but she was taking her ass downstairs.

“Millz, go downstairs.” I said again just to let her know I was dead serious. She took one look at my facial expression then nodded. She eased Dyce off her lap then I pulled her up from the bed.

“Don’t be up here all day,” she said before opening the room door and leaving out.

I sat on the bed then pulled Dyce in front of me so we were face to face. “Listen to me; I don’t want you to think I’m trying to take your father’s place because I’m not. You have a father and he loved you very much; I love your mother and a big part of loving her means loving her children. I’m not your dad, you don’t have to call me dad if you don’t want to but I am going to be here for you, your brother and sister. Okay?”

He nodded looking me straight in my eyes. It was fucking with me a little bit because I didn’t know if he was trying to see if I was serious or if he was the one trying to send a message.

“We good? You alright now?”

“Yeah, we good.” I held my fist out for a pound and he gave me one. I kissed his forehead then stood up.

“Alright come on so you can have some birthday cake.”

“Can I open my presents?” He asked as we walked out of his room.

“After everybody is done with their cake it’s fine with me.”

We went down to the living room with everybody else. Millz lit the candles and turned off the lights so everybody could sing happy birthday to the boys.

After giving out cake I wanted to get to these gifts so these kids could get the fuck out of my house before that cake fully kicks in and they tear some shit up.

***

“Thanks for helping me cleaning up man, I appreciate it.” I told Xavier when we got done getting the living room back to normal. Everyone was long gone but he stayed back to help me clean up.

“It’s nothing; I knew you weren’t going to let Millz clean shit up so I figured I could help while Darnell kept her busy.” He told me.

“Is this really life man?” I asked with a laugh. “I’m living with a woman and four kids with another one on the way.”

He laughed shaking his head. “Aye sometimes life catches you off guard. Look at me; I’ll be a married man come next year.”

“Shit if things work out the way they’re supposed to I’m going to be right behind you.”

“I’m happy you two niggas finally stopped playing, dramatic as a muthafucka but liked each other that whole damn time.”

“Everybody can’t be you and Darnell man,” I said thinking back on how Xavier and Darnell got together. It’s actually finny because he was on her from day 1. I vividly remember him telling her she was going to be his wife, and his ass was right.

“I wasn’t about to play with that girl, I knew what I wanted and went for it. It took you a minute but you got it together so that’s all that matters.”

“You right about that.”

“I’m about to be outta here, I know Z upstairs knocked out.”

“Aight, how’s the thing you put in the basement?”

“Cool, I checked on it a minute ago. Darnell aint said shit to her either so you’re good.”

“Good lookin’ man,” We slapped hands then he went upstairs to get Darnell and Zaria. When they came back down he was carrying a sleeping Zaria in his arms and Darnell was behind him yawning like she had a long day or some shit.

Once they were gone I went upstairs to the bedroom where Millz was sitting up in the bed on her laptop.

“What are you doing?” I asked her.

“Nothing, I’m just looking at some of these pictures. You’re done cleaning up?”

“Yeah but I got something for you.”

“Something for me?”

‘Yeah, well it’s partly for you and partly for the kids. I’ll be right back.” I went down to my man cave and went over to the cage and unlocked it.

“You ready to surprise your new mama?” I said to the all blue nose pit bull puppy I was holding. “I hope she likes you and don’t kick your ass out.” I went back upstairs but stopped in the hallway right by our room door.

Taking her ring from my pocket I hooked it on his dog collar then put him down. I opened the door just enough to let him inside and give me room to peek.

“What the fuck?” I heard Millz say after a few seconds of silence. “Fuck did a damn dog come from?” She got up off the bed went over to the dog and picked it up. She grabbed the collar and when she touched the ring and looked at it her mouth dropped so I took that as my cue to walk in.

Millz looked up at me with her mouth still wide open as I walked up to her. “Close your mouth baby.” I grabbed the ring off the dog collar, put him down then looked down into her eyes. “I love you, I love the way you take care of my son, I love the way you take care of your kids and I love them with everything in me. I respect you, I respect the woman you’ve grown into and I want you to be the one I spend the rest of my life with so,” I went down on one knee grabbing her left hand. “Will you marry me fat mama?” I asked making us both laugh.

“You get on my nerves,” she laughed wiping the tears from her face. “Yes I’ll marry you.” I slid the ring on her finger then stood up and kissed her on the lips. “You ready to become Mrs. Garnett?”

“Yeah I guess I ‘m ready for that,” she said with a big smile on her face. “I love you,”

“I love you too.”

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libidomechanica · 3 years

Text

“knelt for my madding adieu; and her een hen”

Pennsylvania, I met her sex, has bene stayed; knelt for my madding

adieu; and her een hen in

the fought, may yielding me seems

apart and fear planet fix my words the hushd and shining harrowd

hell with mercifull red wound

there to get her mate within, and now would have fret my hart, saying,Accept me askew

then thou that talking the cold philosopher had fallen thus conditional prick us on the shadows and unnamed beauty of all fear brow, and all the

enduring spectacled shelter, the God is with smooth as fearful roar, how common flame, fit to feeling but death shal you not at will, in bitter with ceremony. Rs hauing changing like Titan ryseth from faery- roof, still death waste, my Adonais. My Delia, on this face, secret letters, if learning of whose two bodies merely sheep look alone, theyr sample of the passion brought with which vulgar paper who was gude, and me wonderfull delight. Rathe. Lyke budded Bellamouring my hair about him, and she third among their sport pass his presence of purple riot: then proue your immortall light recured, Somebody without. Every daungerous as right of wakeful shepheards wont with his paradise. Transcended hath thee to grasp. Do what a dusty urns sepulchre, and mask in my browes fed, I wish that is all wet, she sees my pain! With grief with kissing? Through winds of base close that four mailed hands in the desert aint never watching, struck, kiss—you seek,

youll find that night them shend: they came,

and “plain, ‘And now ’“tis others ayde: yet fades away, did mock.” Against his flattring by, a sunbows glowing their prey; that cracks evilly,

a dark socket and harassd between their renew her the Lily-white hand, than of my trust, fair a presens I my meanings both he, “for uninvited” to endeavour.’ Come light of that I did not speak” for my great a voyce, swung blinded guest had

laid us as she sate, warm cloisterous,

midnight, wrapped in sportending.

#poetry #automatically generated text #Patrick Mooney #Markov chains #Markov chain length: 6 #232 texts

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underatedcharactersunite · 6 years

Text

Caught In The Crossfire

Plot - Merle and Reader escape Woodbury but in the mist in all the chaos Merle and Reader’s seven-year-old daughter is caught in the crossfire and the Governor takes her as a hostage. Merle Dixon knows he’s no saint and the group at the prison may not help him due to their past encounters. But Merle is certain he will get his baby girl back. Will the group help them or will they be forced to face the governor alone?

WordCount - 2,773

Warnings - Angst, Kidnapping, violence, strong language, potential fluff

Key - D/N - Daughter’s Name Y/N - Your name

【Requests for Headcanon’s, Preferences, Drabbles and Imagines are still Open so if you like what you read feel free to send in a request! Have a great Day/Afternoon/Evening! If you would like a part two to this than please let me know!】

The gunfire came from every direction, shell casings dropped to the ground. Smoke clouded vision as people shot blindly. Yet your vision was clear enough to see what he wanted you too. You watched him grab her arm pulling her towards him. Your feet carried you as you sprinted towards her. Her mouth was moving but you couldn’t make out what she was saying, the tears running down her face like a waterfall gave you everything you needed to push you forward. You never felt the bullets pierce your shoulder or your leg. You never realised that Merle came up behind you shooting the gunman down. In a haste, Merle picked you up bridal style while you screamed her name, slowly falling out of consciousness before the black abyss consumed you.

Thump...Thump...Thump...Someone’s yelling in the distance. A voice you recognise..too cloudy to determine who. Someone's sitting beside you, a stranger. Your eyes feel too heavy to open but something makes you, D/N.

Lunging forward, your eyes are wide awake searching for familiarity. There was nothing. You were in a prison cell, blankets had been thrown over you. You felt nothing. No pain. Weakness had consumed your body, collapsing back onto the soft pillow.

“Easy there, if you move too much your stitches will reopen. Now I understand that your daughter is still in Woodbury but what use are you going to be if you haven’t healed” You gently turned your head feeling a sharp twinge in your shoulder.

“Who are you and where’s Merle?” An elderly gentleman sat beside you, his hair was completely white. He sat with his back completely straight, the way he held himself told you everything. You were aware that the elderly gentleman was valued by this group

“My name’s Herschel Greene. I’ve been with Rick for a while now. I’d ask you for your name but Merle has been yelling for you ever since you arrived. I’ve heard mostly negative things but from what I’ve seen I think people might jump to the wrong conclusion.”

“Y/N baby, are you awake? Officer friendly, ya best let me out of this goddam room! Otherwise, it’s gonna get real nasty for you. If the Governor couldn’t keep me from her, do ya really think you can?” You heard Merle’s raspy tone and you instantly relaxed. There had always been something about Merle’s voice that could ease anxiety despite him threatening somebody.

“I’m not letting you out! You’re a danger to this group!” Rick snarled. Herchel tapped your hand gently, before standing up.

“Excuse me for a moment, I need to have a chat with Rick. I expect you to be in the same position when I get back.” Herschel never gave you a minute to reply before he left. You scanned the room, there were a few things dotted around the place primarily on the solitary self that was meant for prisoners. As you laid your head back on the surprisingly soft pillow. Your body seemed to fight against your will to stay awake. The quietness of the cell and the softness of the pillow your eyes slowly began to close falling into a peaceful slumber.

Unbeknownst to you, outside was anything but peaceful.

“Rick a word please”, Herschel asked as he entered the room slowly.

“Is everythin’ alrigh’?” Daryl questions from his spot on the stairs.

“You were right about her being a fighter. She’s awake and stable but she’s extremely weak. She needs time to recuperate and to recover but I get the impression that she won’t relax unless she’s got her family around her including Merle and their Daughter. Rick your not going to like this but you need to let Merle out.” Herschel observed the way Rick’s eyes widened a fraction. It wasn’t going to be a positive decision but it needed to made.

“You can’t be serious. You know what he’s done to Glenn to Maggie” Rick gritted his teeth as he began to pace around the room as if he had become a caged animal.

“I believe that he did what he had to do in order to keep his family safe. Rick think about it, even if they thought about leaving Woodbury they would have had to gather supplies, food and a car to travel. They couldn’t just leave. Rick, what if you had been in the same situation. You would have done anything to keep them safe” The group studied Rick as glared at Merle with a dangerous glare.

“Rick, ya need to. Bein’ locked up like some cagged animal is only going to make him worse.” Rick ran his hand over his chin. Could he really make this decision? He needed to think of the group and their safety but keeping Merle locked up in the other room was only going to annoy everybody around him because Merle was not going to give

“Fine, but if he does anythin’ Daryl and I mean anything it will be done to you.” Daryl nodded before Rick reluctantly took the keys from his belt, unlocking the door. Merle pushed past Rick heading directly towards the cell in which you were currently sleeping.

“Merle, you gotta say thank you.” Daryl blocked the path to your cell as Merle’s muscles tensed up.

“I aint sayin’ thank you. Now baby brother, your gonna move out the way so I can see my baby girl” Daryl stood his ground against his older brother giving Merle no way out. Eventually, Merle grumbled a thank you. Daryl moved aside letting Merle in to finally see you.

Merle had to look twice to realise it was you. Never in his entire life had he seen you look weak. Your skin had lost its healthy complexion, bags dropped under your normally happy eyes. After everything that Merle had put you through, his time in prison, his drug addiction, the many occasions that Merle had disappeared weeks on end. Never had he seen you look like this. You took everything in your stride.

The Governor and his man had done this to you. Merle was going to kill every last one of them. Crouching down onto his knee’s, he gently took your hand on his pressing a soft kiss on your knuckles, smiling when it caused you to stir.

“Well hello there, I almost lost you there for a second.”

“Sorry to disappoint you.” Merle smiled for a moment thinking you were kidding. Yet he didn’t see a smile on your face.

“I don’t want ya saying shit like that to me again unless your jokin’. Darlin’ I wouldn’t be alive if it weren’t for you or D/N.” Tears began to fall, Merle had to look away, he hated nothing more than seeing you cry.

“But it’s my fault. It’s my fault that D/N is still at Woodbury. I should have kept hold of her.” Getting as close as he physically could to you without hitting his head on the steel bunker above him.

“What happened with D/N was nobody’s fault except the Governor’s. We’re going to get her back, I promise. Have I ever made you a promise that I didn’t keep? D/N will finally get that time with Daryl she keeps on about”

“If I didn’t know you any better, I’d say you were jealous.” Merle laughed leaning closer towards your face, your breaths mixing together, Merle’s calloused hand wiped the stray tears away.

“Darlin’, when have I ever been jealous?”

“All the time. Every time a man looks at me. Anytime D/N brings up spending time with Daryl because you want to be her favourite....Merle, what do we do from here?”

“Well, Darlin’ firstly I’m gonna kiss ya because that’s the perfect medicine for any injury. Then we’re both gonna get a good night’s rest and in the mornin’ I’m gonna see if I can find a wheelchair or somethin’ cause I know you're not good at being on bed rest.” Merle slowly began to lean in, running his hand over the side of your face running his thumb over your bottom lip gently before letting it go replacing his thumb with his rough lips. Merle’s kisses were always rough and passionate typically emerged in lust. Yet this one was different, because, for the first time in Merle’s life, he had been afraid to lose you. Nobody was going to take you away from him and no matter what it took he would get his Daughter. There was no man, no walker that was going to stop him.

Morning came quickly, the hot sun shined bright out of the window outside of the cell. The beginning of a brand new day brought another day without your Daughter, Using your good arm to hoist yourself up, you almost fell back when you realised you weren’t alone. What bothered you it wasn’t Merle or Daryl but a young boy no older than twelve. He stood in the doorway with a sheriff’s hat placed on top of his brown hair.

“Can I help you?” You questioned, making direct eye contact with the young boy who seemed to invade your room without knocking or at least waking you up.

“Do you really have a Daughter?” He retorted if he wasn’t a child perhaps you would have snapped at him or threatened him for accusing you of being a liar. But you gave him the benefit of the doubt.

“I do her name’s D/N. If you help me up I can show you a picture.” The young boy hesitated eventually cautiously making his way over to your bedside helping you up so you were more comfortable. Now able to use your good arm, you were able to snap open the locket that remained hung around your neck.

“Here, this was taken just before everythin’ went bad.” The young boy examined the picture before slowly giving it back to you.

“Do you have a name?”

“Carl. Merle found you the wheelchair and Daryl is going to give you some of his fresh clothes until we can find you some” You wondered how he had found that information out doubting he had been apart of the conversation.

“Would you mind getting them for me? I’d much like to get up and about today.” It was almost as if Daryl had heard you when he burst through the door of the cell.

“Y/N, I need ya to come with me. Merle’s lossin’ his temper with Rick. He’s in one of those moods.” Looking at Daryl you nodded but Daryl just stood there.

“Daryl, I’m gonna need some help.”

“Right. Carl go grab the shirt off and pants off the table out there. Merle’s gonna kill me if you go out there lookin’ like that.” Carl listened to Daryl’s instruction. Leaving the room, leaving you and Daryl alone.

“What are they arguing about?” Daryl sighed, running his hand over his face.

“Rick doesn’t think it’s a good idea to go and try and rescue D/N. I ain’t happy with what Rick said. But Merle had to go off on one without thinkin’“ Carl came back with the trousers and shirt.

“Carl leave the room for a moment will ya.” You looked at Daryl knowing that it had to be done. Daryl had caught you and Merle being intimate more times than you would care to admit. But beyond that was a bond between the two of you that reminded you or a brother-sister dynamic, both of you were willing to protect the other, you could tell Daryl anything and you knew that it wouldn’t go any further.

Daryl expertly helped you change, gently settling you into the wheelchair before wheeling you towards Merle and Rick. You heard them before you could see them, the moment Daryl wheeled you outside, the sun that shone brightly. You lifted your hand so you could see the two men.

“Merle Dixon, you best step away from Rick right now before you get locked up again!”

“This piece of shit isn’t gonna help us. He’s gonna leave D/N out there in that hellhole where the Governor can do what he pleases to her!”

“Threatenin’ him ain’t gonna do any good, it’s just gonna make things worse. Step away from Rick and we’ll go for a walk so you can calm down.” Deep down Merle knew you were right, but his temper had gotten the best of him.

“No can do darlin’, if officer friendly here doesn’t offer to help us then I’m gonna make everyone’s lives here more interesting!” Rick and Merle began arguing back and forth like two Male lions attempting to go for dominance. While the two of them argued back and forth. Something had caught your attention nearby.

“Somebody’s coming!” It wasn’t clear to figure out who it was, they were hiding behind a walker. Your alert appeared to fall on death ears as neither of the two men didn’t halt their arguing.

“Will ya both bloody listen to Y/N? Someone’s coming!” Daryl only raised his voice an octave higher before both men stopped their bickering.

“Great this is just what we need.” Rick spat before heading towards the entrance to discover the stranger coming straight toward the prison.

In the last few days, you had come to realise something. At this current moment in your life, it appeared that your life wanted to constantly screw you. The one person (apart from the Governor who you least desired to see in the world) was now standing less than a couple of feet from you attempting to defend him.

“Rick if you just talk to him you can come up with some sort of deal. He’s more than willing to accommodate. Phillip is a good man.” You couldn’t prevent the snort as it escapes you.

“A good man...well if he’s a good man that I must be an Angel. Have you seen my girl here? He shot her twice. The Mother of my baby girl...but wait for it Blondie...why would the Governor do such a thing if he was such a good man. Oh, that’s right he was taking our Daughter away. Now he’s got her stuck there like a prisoner.” Merle’s temper hadn’t adjusted since his conflict with Rick. You witnessed him falling deeper and deeper into the abyss, Merle in this state of mind was no good to anyone.

“Kidnapped, your daughter wasn’t kidnapped, Merle. She’s better off at Woodbury away from you! Rick, Merle’s probably gutted he’s unable to get his quick fix. I’m surprised you managed to keep your daughter before the apocalypse ” The rest of the group stilled listening to every word, Merle’s fist began to clench and unclench as if he was using an imaginary stress ball.

“That’s enough! Merle might be a shit person to everyone else but he’s a good Dad. Now I suggest you tell us where my niece is so we can get her back.” Andrea rolled her eyes.

“Why should I tell you?”

“Because that makes you no better than that man that took her.” Carl chirped up, Andrea shrugged off his comment as if it didn’t matter to her.

“Don’t get involved in something you know nothing about,” Andrea muttered. Gritting your teeth, you pushed onto the wheel of the wheelchair pushing it with all your might.

“Carl, it’s okay. If you don’t tell me where my baby girl is the moment my arms fixed. I’m gonna use you and your little boyfriend as target practice...Then once your dead and ya have turned, your still gonna be suffering until I’ve used my last bullet before I finally put your pathetic life out of misery and let Merle stick his knife into your softened skull really slow... Now your gonna tell me where my daughter is...unless you're wantin’ my idea. Then I’m gonna put ya in a cell so you can wait until I recover.” Andrea studied the women who appeared to not so much as a bat an unlash as she spoke. The room’s tension had risen like the growing heat outside. For the first time, the group; witnessed just why Merle had been attracted to you in the first place.

“She’s been staying with Milton...perhaps she’s better off staying with him at least she’s happy.” You rolled your eyes purposely turning your chair away from her.

“I know how to get D/N back.” Merle raised his eyebrow at you suddenly interested his eyes finally leaving Andrea.

“I’m all ears Darlin’”

“We get Milton to help us.”

“Darlin that four-eyed freak isn’t gonna help us. His loyalty is to the Governor. Always has and always will be.”

“I know he will help us....he’s my brother.”

#merle dixon imagine #merle dixon imagines #merle dixon x reader #merle dixon oneshot #Merle Dixon one shot #twd imagines #twd imagine #twd one shot #twd headcanon #twd oneshot

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summerrrluvvv · 4 years

Text

Chapter 4:

Play Music For Each Character To Catch The Vibe:)

Melody:

https://open.spotify.com/track/6LGwYMXXgURfaequXipzHx

“Wakey Eggs and Bacon” Tye said waving bacon near my nose. I looked up at her struggling to see it was so bright. “Mmm Tye close the blinds” I said. She got up and closed them and sat back down. “How you are feeling?” She asked. I groaned outing the cover over my head. “I feel okay, I was so sick on that boat” I told her. She shook her head. “You threw up on this fine ass nigga, who was the owner of the boat, and he helped you clean up and brough you to the car, a gentleman might I say” She told me. I remembered throwing up but not on anybody. I palmed my face. “Tye your lying” I said. She shook her head “Nah honey you threw up on him, he was in a towel because you ruined his fit” She said. “OMG, bruh It was the liquor that had me feeling crazy, I should apologize or something” I stressed. “Well he said he stop by sometime today to see if you’re okay” She said smiling. I looked at her, “He really that fine?” I asked. She nodded. “Yess girl and he got moneyyyy” She sang. “Mmmhm well Ima see for myself” I said. She passed me some bacon. “Yeah get your ass up and get cute right quick, I’m going to the mall with Samar today. I think the girls want to go to the salon too, so Ima see yall when I get back and we can just be on chillllll tonight” Tye said. I nodded and looked at my nails which one was broken. “Ooh yeah I need me some new claws baby” I said. I got up and got dressed. Kept it real cute and casual today, I wanted a frappe today and to also get a wax cause my hair was growing back fast. I looked at myself in the mirror to see which shoes I was going to wear. “Melodyyy” I heard. “Yeaahhh” I screamed back. “Come here!”. I walked out my room and to the balcony to see who called me. I see it was Ari. “Yes?” I asked. “Somebody wants to see you” She said. I curiously walked downstairs and over to the door. Ariana smiled at me and walked off. I grabbed the door and Opened it. I see it was a tall sexy man. “Um hi?” I said confused. “Hey, you probably don’t remember me, you kind of puked on me” He said laughing. I blushed embarrassed. “Hi, I’m soooo sorry, I was not feeling good and I’m sooo sorry, you need me to pay for anything?” I asked sincere. He shook his head and held out his hands. “Nah, you good baby girl, I just came to check on you. My name is Malachi Davis, I wanted to meet you” He said. I smiled. “I’m Melody Dixon, and that’s so sweet you didn’t have to” I said. He smiled this nice ass smile. Whew and his jawline. “Well I mean after I seen you, I couldn’t stop thinking about you and I was like damn let me go see who this beautiful girl is” He said. I blushed trying not to hard to smile. “Is it okay if I get your number and take you out on a date?” He asked. I shook my head. “Yeah no problem. Its 678-872-4562” I told him. “Mm okay you from Atlanta” He said putting my number in his phone. “How long yall here for?” He asked. “2 weeks” I said. He nodded. “Cool, listen I’m out here for promo and business but Ima make time to show you a good time is that okay Melody?” He asked. His voice was smooth and chill. “Yeah that’s fine, I’m down” I said trying to not be so excited. He smiled at me. “Good so I will be hitting your line okay?” He told me. I nodded. “Great” I said. He smiled and walked off looking back at me smiling. I see his car it was a blue Lambo. “Girl let me throw up on somebody” Zion said eating chips behind me. I looked at her and laughed. “Girl gone some where you got a man” I said to her. “You better get that Dick!” Tye yelled. “Brother look like he is hanging!” She said. “This isn’t no girls trip anymore” Ari said laughing. After joking and talking we all went to do our thing for the day. Ari, Z and I went to get our nails done, and we my lashes done.

https://open.spotify.com/track/4y9oPKGnnqEbiM9PvrhP5q

Soon after we split up and I went to my wax appointment while they went to the spa. I enjoyed just being to myself for a minute. I got me a milk shake and just walked across the beach. Thinking about life, feeling the breeze. “Melody?” My thoughts stopped as I looked to see who called me. I turned around and seen Isaac. My heart dropped. I couldn’t really think of what to say so I just smiled. “I been hoping to see you again since the club” He said. “I uh been busy” I said feeling like I said something stupid. “Yeah, so how you been? what you are doing down here?” He asked. I looked at him and seen he had grown out his mustache and he had been working out since we broke up. He was fine as fuck; my heart was beating so fast. “I been good, amazing actually. I’m here on a girl’s trip with my girls you know Tye, Ari, and Z” I said. He nodded, “I see, yall got into a fight” He laughed. I awkwardly smiled. “Well you know Ari, started that” I said. He shook his head. “Yeah Ari with the shits boy” He said. “But yeah, you look beautiful Mel” He said. He leaned in for a hug and pulled back a little. “I’m sorry” I said. I leaned in and hugged him awkwardly. I kept thinking about how when we broke up I replayed this moment in my head we see each other again and I be mean as fuck but honestly everything I felt slowly creeped up on me, and I wanted to disappear ASAP. “I see your IG, I wanted to contact you, but I didn’t know if you reply back. It’s crazy how we meet up here huh?” He asked. I nodded. “Yeah, crazy” I said. The wind started to blow hard and my hair was all in my face. He got closer to me again and moved my hair out my face. “It was nice seeing you, I got to go meet up with the girls” I lied. “Mel wait” He said grabbing my hand. “Can we meet up and talk maybe kick it?” He asked. I hesitated. “Just text me Isaac, I still have the same number” I said leaving. My stomach was going crazy, I had to shit. He smelled so good, fuck. “Get it together Mel”.

Ariana:

https://open.spotify.com/track/2k9cDkVumJEtoBASCPIiFw

I stood in line feeling on how soft my face felt while waiting in line at Taco Rico with Zion. “Mel just text the group chat” Zion said. I grabbed my phone. “Damn she seen that nigga again” I said. At this point Isaac is stalking Mel. “I think it’s cute, he aint seen her in a long minute and now that he does, he ready to hit them new squatted cheeks” Zion said. I playfully bumped her with my hip. “Stop it, he left her the fuck” I said annoyed. Zion looked at me. “Trust me! I’m not a fan either but shit ironic, this could get spicy new boo and old boo” Z said. I rolled my eyes. “She aint got no boo......yet” I said. Zion spoke to soon about boos cause in walked in Anthony, the man from my run yesterday. I tapped on Z. “Z look there he is, the fine nigga from yesterday I seen” I told her. She slightly looked and her eyes got wide she pulled down her shade. “Girllllllll go over there” She said trying to move me over lowkey. “No, I’m hungry” I said. “Go over there!” She said slightly poking me all over. I left her and walked over near him; he was near the napkins waiting in line, so I pretended not to see him. He turned over towards me. “RiRi?” He said. I turned around. “Oh, it’s you” I said pretending to not care. He smiled and laughed a little. “Yes, it is I, your knight and shining armor” He said playfully bowing. I laughed and looked over to see Z peaking with her shades on the bridge of her nose. “What you came to eat?” I asked. He nodded. “Yeah you?” He asked. I nodded. He smirked. “Bet, let’s get some food and dip” He said. I looked at him crazy. “Hmm?” I asked. He smiled. “Yeah let’s get some food and go explore, I will show you around my city” He told me. I hesitated on leaving Zion. “I don’t know my friend is right there, I came to meet her that be rude” I told him. “Hey mami?” Anthony yelled loud as fuck; people turned around. Zion looked at us embarrassed. “I can take your friend on an outing?!” He asked. She turned around and gave us a thumbs up. Damn it! I thought. “See no problem” He said looking his lips. I stood there annoyed, but lowkey hype. We grabbed the food which he paid for and got in his nice ass car. We stopped at a store to grab a blanket then headed to the beach, but not like the big beach, it was a small part with just us a maybe 5 other people just chilling. I bit into my food and looked over at him just smiling at me. I rolled my eyes. “Can I eat in peace?” I asked. He quickly looked away laughing. “You funny, I like your aura” He said. I looked at him annoyed. “Well I think your weird” I said playfully. He shrugged. “I can take weird, I just like to study people, sorry” He stated. I looked at him for a minute. “I’m sorry, I just don’t know people intentions so, I’m mean to protect myself” I said. He nodded. “I can tell, you like a boiled egg” He said smiling. “That’s cool cause I like me a boiled egg” I busted out laughing at him. “Nigga can I be an M&M not an egg”. He shook his head. “Nope, I don’t like M&Ms I like boiled eggs” He said taking a bit of his taco and sipping his drink. We talked and laughed. He made me open up to him. I felt like we were only here for 2 weeks so who gives a fuck if he knew me like that. “I’m for real I had to go to the hospital it was so much blood, I will never again try to skateboard off my room” He said. I squirmed at the thought. “You are soo weird who the fuck does that?” I asked he laughed pointing at himself. He then got up and gathered our trash. “Get undressed” He said. I looked at him crazy. “Nigga what the fuck?” I asked. He pointed towards the beach. “We are getting in” He said taking off his shirt and pants revealing his boxers, and I could tell he was right. “I don’t know about this” I said. He started backing up dancing into the water. I looked around and got undressed revealing my grandma draws and my sports bra. “Don’t laugh at my draws Anthony” I stated. He laughed. “Come on Ms. Ari, I’m going to help you baby” He said playfully sounding old. I playfully pushed him into the water. “Shut up!” I laughed. He picked me up and swung me around, and then put me back down. I felt so free the sun was setting it was the perfect vibe. He splashed me with the water on my back. “Nigga you are ruining my vibe!” I screamed chasing him around falling. “Oh, water fight” He slightly said. After a while it was just us on the beach, almost dark. He brought me close to him, my heart rate when up. I was nervous. “What you want to kiss me?” I asked. He smiled and bent his head down to kiss me. Sounds crazy I know but, with Marlon we just chilled at his house all the time, he was my first ever real something and we only went on 3 regular ass dates before I gave it up, I never had no spontaneous shit like this happen and I was going to give up my punnai like that already, but I learned my lesson, but baby I wanted to show him things on the Dick that I couldn’t even do yet. The kiss was so intense, I had butterflies in my stomach and vagina. He broke the kiss thank goodness. “You ready to go, got to get you home before midnight!” He joked. “Want to race?” I asked. He shrugged. “I don’t know, I don’t want you to lose” He said. I smirked. “Ready, set Go!” I yelled running to the car beating him by 4secs. “Damn you fast mami” He said. I did a little dance. “Basketball and Track in high school” I said. His mouth dropped. “Aight we need a one on one. Which is cool cause tomorrow my folks having our Puerto Rican barbeque and My abuelita has a basketball goal” He said. “Nigga you want me to meet your family already?” I asked. He shrugged “Yeah why not my uncles Rio and Arnez make the best Puerto Rican barbeque Im just trying to get you some good food skinny mama” He said to me. I sucked my teeth in. “We gone see if this some good barbeque sir” I said. We got in his car and just vibe out to music, he lit a blunt and we just smoked as he drove us back. We sat in his car and just made jokes about each other until I started dosing off. “Wake up, am I boring you!” He asked sounding silly. I laughed a little. “No, a bitch is worn out” I said. All this adventure and facials and weed got me gone. “Aight well, don’t forget tomorrow RiRi” He stated. I started grabbing my stuff. “I won’t” before I got out, he kissed my forehead then my lips. “Ima make sure you get in before I pull off” He said. I smiled and nodded. When I get inside, I took a shower and passed out naked.

Tye:

https://open.spotify.com/track/4IdAIZRVkwuQQnHpi529cn

“This is cute” I said looking at clothes. Samar was on his phone just giggling with some girl. I’m only here because he needed me to style him for Lit and Wild. Plus, in return he said I get a $200 shopping spree which was not much, but I was going to take my time. “Hurry up Tye Tye damn” He snapped. I shooed him away. “Finish talking to your bitches” I said. He mugged me before walking out of the store and sitting on the bench. I got me 2 dresses, another swimsuit and some sandals and 2 pairs of shades and some perfume from Forever 21, Zara, Ray Bans and Macys. “Tye?” I heard. I looked to see it was Julian. Sexy Cuban from the club. “Hey” I said smiling. We hugged and he smelt spicy but good. “So, you busy, you here alone?” He asked. I pointed towards Samar, “Nah I’m here with him” I said. He looked at me. “That’s your man?” He asked frowning. I shook my head laughing. “No that’s just my gay best friend” I lied laughing at what I said. Samar was pissing me of with these hoes so this my way of getting him back. “Oh okay, so you never hit me back about the date?” He asked. Julian and I been texting off and on. I see Samar turn around and look at Julian and me. “Yes, I’m free” I said. He licked his lips at me. “Cool, I been thinking about you ever since the club, I just want to eat you up” He said looking me up and down like he aint ate in days and I’m the first meal he seen. I was scared but i was ready to get ate like he was a savage. “Well Bon Appetit” My dumb ass said aloud. I covered my mouth. “I can’t wait I meant to say” I said embarrassed. He laughed at me and lightly brushed my chin with his finger. “You bad as hell” He said. “What’s up homie?” Samar rudely interrupted. Julian stepped back and just lifted his head up to say hey. I wanted to laugh cause Julian thought Samar was gay. “Ima see you later mama” He told me hugging before he left. “Who’s that nigga?” Samar asked. “The guy I met from the club” I simply said as we walked through the mall. “You trying to fuck?” He asked. I shook my head. Yes, I thought. “No” I lied. “Jelly?” I asked. Samar laughed. “Nah got to make sure niggas treat my sister right” He said. Oh, see now I am about to pogo stick Julian’s dick now, nigga call me his sister. I guess my chance of telling how I feel just was a dream. “You really see me as your sister?” I asked annoyed. He shrugged. “I mean you fam, I love you, I protect you. You know?” He simply said. We got to the parking garage and I put my stuff in the car and got in. “Have you ever been attracted to me?” I asked. He slowly nodded. “Yeah but then I see you as my pretty best friend cause we never took it there just can’t see you being in my life as anything else” He said kissing my hand. I wanted to drive us into the mall. “Yeah just like bro and sis whew” I awkwardly said. He looked at me. “You good?” He asked. I nodded. “I’m happy” I lied. I texted Julian. “I’m free tonight 😋”. He texted me back. “Bet 😉”.

Zion:

https://open.spotify.com/track/4YNrBVo8fv6qiTNwHLVDai

I was walking all over the house on the phone talking to Kyrel. “Favorite Childhood movie?” He asked me. “Ooh easy Cheetah girls, that’s my shit!” I stated. He laughed. “Wow you and my sisters’ man” He said. “Nigga that movie is a classic” I told him. “Because we are sisters we stand together” He sang. I fell out on the floor in a laughing fit. “Kyrel I’m going to make you watch it with me now” I told him. “That’s cool with me, spending anytime with you is cool” He said in a sexy tone. “So how about now?” He asked. “Hmm?” I asked confused. “I just pulled up” He said. I heard a knock at the door. I went to the door and opened it. Revealing this fine angel glowing in the dark. I smiled. “What are you doing here?” I asked. He walked in and closed the door. “Just wanted to see you, watch a movie and possibly hold you and that’s it” He said staring into my soul. I nodded. “Okay” I said. I brought him up to the room, I was staying in and we started kissing a little then he stopped me, and we watched Cheetah Girls on Disney plus, until we fell asleep. I woke up in the middle of the night to Kyrel holding me. I felt a since of protection. I wanted this forever, but I reminded myself in two weeks I be gone, and this shit be over so kept it together.

Supporting Characters:

Isaac:

Malachi:

Anthony:

Kyrel:

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leiaofrph · 7 years

Text

Below the cut you will find 88 potential OTP tags, para titles, or character tags based off of the album Kerosene by Miranda Lambert.

Please like or reblog if you use or find this useful.

I'm waitin' on the sun to set cause yesterday ain’t over yet

Dusty roads ain’t made for walking

Spinning tires ain’t made for stopping

I'm giving up on love cause love's given up on me

I gave it everything I had and everything I got was bad

Life ain’t hard but it’s too long

Trade the truth in for a lie

Cheating really ain’t a crime

Forget your high society

Now I don't hate the one who left

You can’t hate someone who’s dead

Excuses for the answers that you lack

Your mama’s still the steady ground you walk on every day

Your daddy’s still the monkey on your back

Did you find all you thought you'd find out in the wild wild west

You took a little piece of home and you threw away the rest

You say you're livin' on the edge

Too scared to hold the hand that wants to help you up

Are you the man you thought you'd be by the time that you turned 33

Are you still a bullet in your daddy's gun

I looked in his big blue eyes and I saw you again

Hungry for a life that you ain’t ready to begin

Figure out that being free is right where you belong

Rain on the window makes me lonely

Time keeps on passing so slowly

The sun's going down on my misery

Another day gone by with broken dreams

I keep wishing it was you

That ring that you were wearing don't mean everything

Bright lights of a city shining up ahead

My hearts analysing every word you said

Did you take me for a fool or did you really care

I bet this road will take me out of here

But it still ain’t big enough for you and me

I'll fill her up with hope and worn-out dreams

Pack the good and leave the rest

I'll drive until I find the missing piece

You said I wouldn't get too far on a tank of gas and an empty heart

I got this old guitar and a brand new set of strings

I guess if you don't jump you'll never know if you can fly

I can't be bothered to miss you anymore

I used to think if missed hard enough you'd come back for sure

It's not like I don't have tears to cry

Such memories so little time

This box of photographs to go through one by one

There's just so much work to get done

Trick is to find something to occupy your mind

Sweet like a kiss but sharp like a razor blade

I find you when I' m close to the bottom

Kick a love I always knew was kind of wrong

As I’m putting out the flame

You can look me in the eye and break my heart

Laughs out loud at my trusting heart

It's like I didn't see the penny

I missed the fountain by a couple yards

If you would only stay gone

Maybe I could move on

You treat your love like a firefly

Promises were made when we’d go walking

Funny how time and distance change you

The road you take don’t always lead you home

You can start a love with good intentions and then you look up and it's gone

I’d give anything to feel love from a child’s heart again

First you love then you hate it

Somebody always loses and we still play the game

I know you aint a liar but you don't tell the truth

Put my heart on your sleeve and wear it all over town

I know you're a player but you don't play by the rules

I'm just another in a long line of fools

If you're handing out misery I'll be the first in line

Maybe you're just jaded from some nobody's unforgotten words

So you're looking for your skin that you never did fit in

You can't hide when you're turned inside out

You can't blow out a flame that you can't find

So you're running from the water and the fire's getting hotter

You can't love yourself at the expense of someone else

You can't hide a liar from the truth

I've seen how hard the world can be

My step is sure and I know my name

A hundred bucks and cheap motels

I would not know how to fight for my own heart next time around

Now don't you cry another night about me

In this city I've got angels all around me

I keep pushing harder and you keep getting stronger

You won't break cause you're afraid you'll fall

Another lame excuse to keep the devil on your side

Trying hard to hide those scars that I've already seen

I just want to love your memory tonight

#rpt #rph #miranda lambert #character tags #otp masterlist #album otp masterlist

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beatmyaudio · 4 years

Text

Ghetto Cowboy Song Lyrics – Mo Thugs

Ghetto Cowboy Song Lyrics

Ghetto Cowboy Song Lyrics From Popular Hollywood Artist Mo Thugs from Album.

This song is sung by singer ” Mo Thugs ” in Year 1999.

Lyrics of Ghetto Cowboy :

you better count your money ghetto cowboythe name is krayzie big bad ass bone wanted up north for all the gold that i stole along with some cash even took the mayors daughter now that theres kidnappin but she was with it so i brought herthen got myself into a whole heap of trouble doublecrossed by the law so theres nobody to run to yeah its just me and my sawedoff shotgun outlaw call him leather faceim headed for the west heard they got a couple banks in town that aint been held up yet well uh i oughta make it by sundown i figure thats enough time for me to get the whole rundownso i continue my mission its gettin dark so im watchin for them damn injuns they like to catch ya then they rob and split i be a rootin tootin shootin damn fool protectin my chipsall of a sudden i heard somebody rumble in the bushes stop my horse whoa nellie who in the bushes you better speak out or im a let my shotgun song sing out thug queen the horse stealerwho is this i hope this aint the law jump out the bushes with my sawedoff shotgun cmon out right now im gettin angry took a step back cause it could get dangerousplease dont shoot its just me then why the hell is you hidin in them bushes im wanted in four counties for armed robbery killed to two sheriffs six of his best men with my hand stole two horsesthought you was the law thats why i jumped in the bushes goodness now she was hotter than the barrel on fire but i could use her for the job so i told her to ride cmonmay i ask you what you headed to the west for i got a partner got a plan for some dough and if youre down you can pick up yourself a pretty penny be in town in a minute now be sure if yore with itwe out before the sun rise gotta stallion for your partner to ride hit the saloon for the moonshine down for whatever lets ride lets ridethese directions say we go to tucson arizona when we arrive well cop a place we can bunk and meet my boy in the mornin for details and hookup you better count your money ghetto cowboyrise and shine good mornin howdy nine o clock we meet my boy in the saloon in the valley now i done came a long way and i dont wanna be late tell him i make ya cause you know we aint move out giddyup giddyup giddyup whip cracks horses neighyou better count your money ghetto cowboy im peepin krayzies wanted poster in the saloon so i assume itll be trouble around here pretty soon glance across the roomi see this youngster getting ready to fight but if he mess up the night i think that krayzie just might take his life so i approach him and i pauselook man i really dont wanna brawl but wont you chill before them laws come messin up this master plan since he already rowdy i just asked the manhey you want some work well partner put in your bid and by the way now whats your name they call me layzie the kidthe names powder p can i get a twelve gauge outlaw everyday on the front page mister kid if you give me the lowdown me and black jack be ready for the showdownwith two doublebarrels pointed at whatever well stick together im purty clever so saddle up jump on the bandwagon because its all goin down i heard a guy run in the bar screamin krayzies in townnow when we get to the saloon you dont worry wait outside and dont be stealin nobodys damn horses step inside the bar lay the kid you son of a gun hey man im glad you made it safelynow lets go have some fun and this my partner powder hes a young gun howdymighty glad to meet ya son oh yeah you know i also brought a friend along meet thug queen the horse peddler straggler just met herhowdy partner already got the horses saddled up i hope you good at robbin banks like you rustle that cattle up now yall its gon be gettin dark real soon i think youre right i say we movecmon lets move out giddyup giddyup giddyup move out whip cracks horses neigh you better count your money ghetto cowboy

Ghetto Cowboy Song Lyrics

Youtube Channel Link

Lyrics, Edit, English, Ghetto Cowboy, Hollywood, Mo Thugs from WordPress https://ift.tt/3h7NDie via IFTTT

#IFTTT #WordPress

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lilsacrifice · 4 years

Text

will i ever own a palace?

it’s 2020 in 2 days and i turn 20 in 2 months. in reality i’m fuckin 15 because my youth was stolen and I done sleepwalked years 14-16 and 17-19. fuckd up how dead its possible to be but oh well I coulda been born in north korea or smth so w/e.

i’ve thought rly often about shit that popped up in instagram explore, with different artists decade’s progressions from 2010 to 2019. i’m on some fucking shit now with how i move. it’s 9 am I haven’t slept a minute & spent all day editing this spaced out music video for my justice - stress remix. it’ll turn out sick in this bootleg fuckin ass way I know.

i can’t fuck with school. everything I do artistically is fucking sick now. i’ve been translating my imagination into this music video and i know i’m fuckin onto something. this what i’m here for. making pieces, thats the way i’ve been putting it in my mind. I make pieces. i fuck with it.

i spend my time making something fucking sick now and I’ll be proud of it when i’m 50 years old. i spend my time in school and all I get is fucking depressed and used to the idea of taking fucking orders on what to do with my mind & imagination. no thanks can’t make me. I don’t need no fucking budget to get shit sounding/looking/feeling right and whatever I do like that will shine as inspiration to any kid in my position.

i’m such a fucking kid still . i haven’t fell in love, i haven’t felt true friendship & i’ve barely made any memories yet. i do plan on fkn making some though. i’m a train on tracks and theres nothing in my way cause my tracks laid on some other shit nobody even see.

i aint fucking scared of shit, i got tunnel vision. I can’t even do shit else but work on what’s currently the pressing issue, the vocation, the exploit. that shit stays on like a tattoo. i want a tattoo, but thats not relevant rn, feel me?

sometimes i get all fucked up and crummy cause I wanna be someone else or have what somebody else got. fuck that shit for life. i’m my fuckin self, I start from that n theres no limit with where I can take it. i got sauce already.

tunnel vision. i can’t hear shit from NOBODY who isn’t on some shit too. fucking zombies eat my dick lol. right now i’m rightfully shut the fuck up cause i used to talk wild shit and never act on it so I’m putting it to justice, this time not saying shit while doing mad shit. but i’ll be talking my shit when I earn that shit.

theres nothing like hikimanu out there or here and it’s aint even sprouted from the ground yet. all my shit already wicked & sick despite being in the embryo / cocoon. i got a way with words, i got a way with my face, i got a way with the way i dress, i got that shit too so in due time I will piss on the rap game too. rappings not hard its like punk anyone who wants to do it can do it. srsly. do it for me maybe maybe.

i got the sauce i rarely fucking miss at all. im not start yet. but im addicted as hell and excited as fuck to see where process takes me. i’m shut the fuck up until i physically cant not talk my shit. the time for that is not now.

i got mad reasons to get out of bed and shit now. they can’t teach me, bitch they can’t reach me. fuck the world. love.

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writingdreamy-blog · 6 years

Text

Loss of Yesterday, Looking forward to Tomorrow ch 9

Fandom: The Walking Dead

Pairing: Rick/OC

Warning: suicide attempt

Note:

Rick clenched his jaw as he looked Eva straight in the eye, "That is a bold accusation."

Eva immediately let her eyes go downcast as she played with the brim of the hat, his piercing eyes made her incredibly nervous. She kept her gaze from his, it was a strong accusation, and she really didn't have any evidence that he killed her father or not. She didn't have enough time to look at her father's corpse enough, and there was a potential that the walkers had eaten all the evidence.

"So, you're going off the word of some guy who thinks that everybody is a danger?"

Eva sighed, "I have no evidence that what Dale said is true, I couldn't examine my father's body enough to see where he was killed… I don't even know where he was hurt. Rick, have you had to put down somebody you love yet?"

Rick this time looked away as she looked up at him, "No."

Eva shifted her stance as she held her sides, an attempt to hold herself together, "It sucks. I saw my dad's dead eyes look at me…. Hungry."

Rick couldn't imagine having to put down his family, he believed that Lori and Carl had been safe or already dead. He didn't have to put them down.

Eva looked Rick square in the face, "Rick, I honestly hope that you will never have to put your family down."

While the two were talking it was Glenn who was sent to fetch him, telling them that there was a group meeting about Randal.

Inside almost the whole group was seated, there was one chair open and Rick claimed it immediately leaving Eva to stand by Maggie.

"Okay, now we can get this meeting ready" Patricia stated. Eva guessed that she was standing in for Hershel as he was finishing up with Randal

"Ok, I'll start" Shane said as he paced around to the side, not really getting close to the group, he addressed Rick. "Why would you bring another mouth, a mouth that have shot at you back to the barn?"

"We couldn't just leave him behind, he would have bled out" Rick argued, he was standing up with one foot up on the chair, he was leaning against it as if it gave him some strength. He looked at Maggie, "if he would have lived that long."

"It's gotten bad in town" Glenn piped up, his eyes looked weary and his body language suggested that he'd rather be recuperating.

"What do we do with him?" Andrea asked.

Eva hummed as she was going to reply when Hershel came in from the barn, "I repaired his calf muscle the best I can" he announced.

Everybody immediately looked at Hershel, "but he'll probably have nerve damage. Probably won't be on his feet for a week,"

"When he does, we'll give him a canteen, take him out to the main road and send him on his way,"

Eva shook her head, "He knows Hershel."

"Isn't that the same as leaving him for the walkers?" Andrea asked.

Rick looked at both the girls, "He'll have a fighting chance, just because he knows about Hershel doesn't mean that he knows where he lives. He was the town vet, he probably had a dog or something."

"Just gonna let him go?" Shane asked, skeptical, "Eva is right, he knows where we are."

Rick shook his head, "He was blindfolded the whole way here, he's not a threat." The blindfold was not exactly true, they had only thought of it after they had saved Eva.

"Not a threat! How many where there?" Shane sarcastically asked, "You killed three of their men, you took one of them hostage, but they just aint gonna come looking?" he was angry with Rick now.

"They left him for dead" Rick growled, he didn't like Shane acting like this. "No one is looking."

"We should still post a guard" T-dawg interjected, he was erring on the side of caution, as any sane person would.

"He's out cold right now, will be for hours" Hershel's voice cut through the dining room.

Shane took this moment to act like an ass. The relative peace was easily shattered. Shane was riling everybody up, especially Hershel. Because Shane was storming off it caught Hershel's wrath reminding him that he really wanted Shane off his land but Rick had talked him away from his decision. Hershel didn't want to hear Shane any more, and if Shane did that they would live more or less in peace.

Shane conceded with a simple nod of his head and walked away, with him running his hand over his bald head. The tension immediately dwindled.

Rick told Hershel that they weren't going to act on Randal today and they needed the time to cool off and get their head back on right. Eva noticed how Andrea looked offended and followed Shane out the door.

It seemed that because the two people left it gave everybody the permission to leave also. The group broke from the meeting almost immediately, trying to go back to what they were doing, to whatever semblance of normal they now had.

Eva watched Rick as some of his thunder was taken from him, she walked by him and gave him a pat on the back. She was going to check on Beth before she continued on her chores. Beth was still lying on her bed, comatose in her own way. She brought the chair close to the bed. Eva took her cold hand, "Oh B, I thought you'd be better already"

Beth obviously didn't respond. Hershel came in not but a few minutes later, her eyes moved as he placed a hand on her forehead. Eva looked up at him, she was hoping Hershel would somehow fix her.

Maggie came in after Hershel, Eva felt like the tiny room really shouldn't have more than two people inside. Hershel looked to Eva, "Can I take the seat?" he asked as he pulled out his pocket watch. Eva nodded as she stood by the foot of the bed. Hershel took his youngest daughter's wrist and counted her pulse.

"Has she eaten?" he asked the two women, "No" Eva verbalized and Maggie shook her head. "I'll give her a sedative, it'll stop her body from working too hard."

Eva nodded, maybe this was for the best, to give her a moments rest.

"You were drinking" Maggie accused.

Hershel sighed, "That was the least of my worries"

"You left and I didn't know what to do!" Maggie's voice was wobbly like she was about to cry or scream. Hershel looked at Maggie then back to Beth, he looked slightly tormented.

Eva felt like she was intruding upon a deep family matter, "I should leave" she commented.

"No, you can stay" Maggie replied, "I need to check on some things" she left the two alone.

"She's just angry because she didn't know what to do…. She was scared" Eva tried to comfort Hershel. His back slumped as he sighed, "None of us knew what to do."

She put a hand to Hershel's shoulder, he smiled wearily at her, "Beth will be just fine" he told her.

Eva nodded, "Do you want some alone time?"

Hershel nodded, "just a few minutes."

Eva left Hershel to do what he needed to do, she went out to the barn to clean the manure. Despite the smell and the chores it was the pure simplicity and mundane that she enjoyed. It was almost a sense of déjà vu.

The rest of the day passed without much problems, Rick and Lori spent a good amount in their tent, and everybody made sure not to get close to the tent as the couple spent alone time.

Shane and Andrea were gone for a good amount also, Eva didn't want to even know where everybody was or what they were doing.

The next day.

Eva was washing dishes in the warm soapy water. Her mind was elsewhere, earlier in the morning Rick announced that he and Shane were going out on a drive. Before they left Rick sought out Eva who was eating breakfast on the porch steps.

His hand gently squeezed Eva's arm, "Shane and I are going out for a drive."

"Ok?" she replied with skepticism.

"I believe you, and I'm going to address it."

Eva blinked curiously at him, "What?" He smiled at her, it wasn't a wide one in fact it was quite small. He gave her arm a final squeeze and left.”But don’t think you’re off the hook yet.” he warned, while it wasn’t stern, it was still a warning.

Eva watched them leave, she couldn't really understand what he was talking about. And this is where Eva found herself, cleaning long overdue dishes.

Maggie was visiting with Beth, who had gotten better since the other day. She was awake and reactive.

Maggie and Lori was cutting meat and cutting tomatoes "Rick say anything to you about Glenn when they got back to town?"

"Just said that had gotten pretty bad" Lori dismissed.

"He's not the same" Maggie noted.

Eva hummed, "I'm sure he's just rattled."

Lori looked at the woman's back, they were still on shaky ground.

Maggie continued, "Says he froze" she sighed as she looked away, "Blames me. Says I got inside his head."

"He came back- that's what matters" Lori said. "Men have to do certain things, you know that, and they're either gonna blame the little woman as the reason they do 'em or the reason they don't"

Lori took a baking sheet from a cupboard, "I'll tell you something- what happens out there happens out there" she moved around, "And we…. We're just trying to keep it together till they get back."

"Things were maybe I-"

"Glenn's a big boy, he makes his own choices and then you… do you have anything to apologize for?" Lori asked while munching on a cucumber slice.

"This probably the first time he was in real danger from humans not walkers" Eva noted.

Maggie shook her head to show she wasn't sorry, Lori shrugged "Tell him to man up and pull himself together."

Eva tensed, she didn't like Lori's attitude, Glenn was scared, and it couldn't be fixed with a 'man up'.

"Just don't say 'man up' it never goes well."

Maggie smiled and took some food, "Let me just get this to Beth."

"You go on, we got this" Maggie nodded to both the women with Lori taking the food tray to Beth.

Eva watched Maggie through the window as she continued with her chores.

Eva began to hum the song 'Jolene' as she did the dishes, today was just one of those days, a day where the sun was out and shining and things were looking up. She never thought she could feel good enough to hum or sing again especially with Beth still in her bed and Hershel still somewhat in lala land.

Eva finished with her dishes and went to finish other things. She helped Maggie with the eggs and milking the cows.

They were in the middle of working when Glenn solicited Maggie's attention. Once again Eva was alone. She continued to hum from earlier, time to time she'd sing a line, "Lucky bird inside a gilded cage. Golden words spoken by an ancient sage. Everything you may have in life. Still, all you hold is dust."

She had been to Disneyland and saw the Aladdin show, it was particularly amazing. The two groups were abuzz she could hear people running around but she didn't really care. If Hershel noticed that they couldn't finish their chores they would be in trouble.

Maggie came into the barn, "Beth did something stupid" she simply stated. Milk was immediately left forgotten.

Maggie and Eva ran to the home, however Andrea and Lori barred Eva from entering the room. Eva was forced to wait with Lori and Andrea. "What happened?" she asked.

Lori sighed as she leaned against the sink, "When I brought her food she took the steak knife"

Eva gasped, "Wait… did she want to commit suicide?" She could feel her stomach churning, she could feel the bile threatening to creep up.

Lori nodded, "Yeah but I stopped her, it's a family affair, let them work it out"

Andrea looked incredulously at her, "That's working it out?" They were listening to the sisters shout at each other.

Eva felt stung by Lori's words, she was forced to wait because she wasn't family despite the fact that she knew every child for their entire life.

"When Beth stops fighting that's when it's time to worry" Lori commented.

"Beth will stop fighting a lot quicker than you realize" Eva commented, "She will stop verbally fighting."

"This could have been handled better?"

"How so?"

"You shouldn't have taken the knife away" Andrea commented.

Both Lori and Eva looked at her, appalled. "Excuse me?" Lori asked

"Yeah, do explain."

"You were wrong, like Dale taking my gun. That wasn't your decision."

"And letting her attempt suicide is?" Eva asked.

"Better attempt and realize you don't want to die than entertain the idea."

Eva shook her head, "I disagree."

"She has to choose to live on her own, she had to find her own reason."

"Want me to tie a noose for her?" Lori sarcastically asked, she still didnt allow for Eva or Andrea inside the house.

"If she's serious she'll figure out a way."

"Over my dead body" Eva declared, she wasn't going to let Beth take her own life.

#the walking dead #Rick/OC #Rick Grimes #slow burn

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