#yknow? like. isn't the desire to consume another/desire to be consumed by another just ... the endgame? the merging of souls?

[disengaged]

Hey pegs! I hope you’re doing well and feeling better💖

I know a lot of Metallica fics over the last 2-3 years have had a very recurring “cannibalistic/horror/gore” theme to them. It seems to be a fan favorite as well seeing how many kudos these types of stories would get! I know I am not opposed to them at all. But I guess my question is: what are your views on “cannibalism as a metaphor for love”?

Hopefully this serves as a distraction to some degree, and once again I hope you feel better soon!

cannibalism as love ... well! it clicks for me, it makes some kind of intuitive sense. the experience of love (i.e. the act of loving another) is so often conceived as being utterly all-consuming, it makes logical sense for media depictions to extend to literal consumption. i see it as symbolism of the ... somewhat-necessary loss of the self/parts of the self involved in such an emotionally-involved affair (?), but also ... it's an exploration of what it means to give oneself to another. the vulnerability, the intimacy, the power exchange—it's devotion, it's sacrifice, it's mutual complicity in tumbling down the rabbithole (the taboo, the Other; to eat your lover is a freakish thing to do). it can be tender, loving, cruel, brutal, abusive, or any combination of the above, but any way you shake it, it's ... perhaps the most extreme version of dedication. easy to romanticize, easier to eroticize.

i'm speaking mainly about consensual cannibalism here, but i think it goes without saying the non-consensual murder kind has endless potential, too.

[problemwater]

ohoho you thought I was done with tweet threads? think again

more reimob

thinkin abt that one reimob fic where mob absorbs a lust curse and the only way for him to survive is to have sex w whoever he saw first (reigen), yknow, the fic which seems to be abandoned

it leaves off with reigen convincing himself its gonna be ok, mob will (probably) be ok, and the worst thing that will happen is mob hating him and reigen accepts that as a possibility bc hey, at least he'll live?

mob is laying on the floor, writhing, grabbing at his pajamas

desperate and fully consumed by heat and desire that he doesn't know how to satiate

reigen leans over him, brushes a hand through his bangs so he can get a good look at mob

he looks like agony, desperation overflowing from him

reigen tells mob "it's going to be okay, mob"

"you're going to be okay"

he's still convincing himself with the words

the "please don't hate me" goes unsaid

he reaches down to unbutton mobs shirt, revealing smooth, pale skin with hardly any hair still. he ignores the discomfort he feels, focusing on mobs safety

mob whines as reigen slides his fingers down his abdomen, lingering just above the waistband of mobs pants, and reigen wishes the sound didn't stir something in him, deep and locked away

he keeps his eyes on mobs face as he pulls down his pants and boxers, not daring to look between the boys legs

reigen whispers again, "it's going to be okay," mostly to himself this time

he's surprised when mob responds between huffs, "you... don't. have to... shishou,"

reigen just stares at him, amazed. mob is so kind, so considerate. he knows mob heard what would happen if he didn't. mob knows this is life or death.

he takes a deep breath, "I know, mob, but I'm going to," he pauses, "I can't lose you"

mob flushes even more, somehow, and reigen pushes away the knowledge that mob definitely has feelings for him, that's a topic for some other day, when mob isn't.

dying.

he mentally waves away the word

mob will be okay

he's going through with this

he draws a breath and reaches down to grab mobs erection, ignoring the sirens in his brain, and mob lets out a sharp moan, almost painful sounding

reigen cradles his face with his other hand, "is it too much?" he asks

mobs eyes are closed tight, hands gripping at the futon. he shakes his head, though, breath leveling as he works to calm himself down

reigen nods, begins to stroke him slowly, carefully

he desperately hopes that this will be enough, but deep down he knows it won't be

(and even deeper, a tiny part of him that he refuses to acknowledge doesn't want it to be)

he shushes and whispers soft placations to mob as he works him to orgasm, mobs unfiltered groans and moans of pain and pleasure unceasing until finally, mob comes. his whole body clenches tight, curling inward

for a moment, mob simply breathes rapidly, and reigen thinks it might have worked

but another long groan leaves mob, and reigen knows it wasn't enough

picky fuckin ghost, he thinks

he doesn't want to, but he calls "ekubo, are you here"

he appears moments afterward, "I don't really want to be"

reigen only acknowledges that by nodding, "can you. find something I can use for... lubricant?" the last word a struggle to get out

ekubo grimaces, but nods

reigen wipes the sweat from mobs forehead, repeating that "its going to be okay," and "I've got you,"

ekubo returns fairly quickly with a bottle of actual lube he found in the drawers of one of the hotel rooms, and reigen thanks him, "you can leave now. I'd prefer you do"

ekubo responds in kind, giving reigen a sympathetic look before disappearing

reigen looks down at mob, still not daring to let his eyes travel downward

he uncaps the lube, making a quick decision

he squeezes some onto his fingers, bringing them around his body to his own hole

he hasn't done this (any of this, really) in a very long time, now, so he should go slow

however, mob is again writhing in pain, so he works himself open quickly. just enough. mob isn't very big anyway

he closes his eyes as he draws one leg over to the other side of mobs body, straddling him

he takes a deep breath and opens his eyes

mob is staring up at him, expression still pained, but now with a front of awe in it

part of him is relieved that mob isn't disgusted by him

he reaches down to grab mobs erection again, this time to hold it in place against him

mob shudders

reigen shudders

he slowly lowers his hips, feeling mob breach him

mob moans again, and reigen wishes that the sound didnt ring down to his groin

reigen is soon seated in mobs lap, mobs hips twitching and bucking upward erratically, chasing the heat of reigens insides

reigen lets him, trying to move in tandem with mob

it feels good, part of reigen acknowledges

another part of him shoves that part away

mob doesnt last long, even though he just came

he spills inside reigen, crying out, tensing again

this time reigen notices a nearby light flicker off and back on again

right.

he lifts himself off of mob, settling to one side again

he watches as mob calms, hoping desperately that this was it, this was enough

but sure enough, after a few moments of harsh breathing, mob whines again, clutching at his abdomen for something reigen definitely wanted to avoid

reigen sighs, drawing up the will for this

he's already done so much, but this. this he feels is different, somehow

worse

this is what would make him the monster he keeps telling himself he isn't already

the tiny part of him he doesn't want to acknowledge supplies "mob wants you, wants this" as if reigen had any inclination that the latter was true

he waved those thoughts away, focusing on the "mob will only be safe if this happens" part

he let out a long breath, grabbing again for the lube

the sound of the cap opening caused another sharp gasp from mob, who evidently knew what it meant

"it's going to be okay, mob" he repeated as he drew his slick fingers toward mobs ass, using his other hand to gently usher mob to spread his legs

mob obliged, though tense, and reigen finally failed to avoid looking down at his groin, getting a full view of mobs spread legs, his bare thighs, and, regrettably, his dick

he slowly brought his fingers to mobs ass, rubbing the muscle in small circles

mob started letting out a stream of small moans, only increasing in volume as he gently pressed his first finger in, slowly until it was all the way inside

he felt himself hardening at the sounds and the feeling of mobs insides

he gently thrusted the finger in and out of mob, until he was relaxed enough for him to add another

mobs voice only grew louder, more desperate as reigen continued carefully working mob open

reigen knew that he was objectively not particularly well endowed, but compared to mob, he definitely felt larger than usual, so he was extra diligent with this

mob was growing more desperate, though, and the words "please," "shishou," and, "inside," worked their way into his moaning

the last word in particular doing horrible things to reigens self control

he pulled his fingers free from mob, who whined from the loss of stimulation, and reached for his own dick, stroking himself until he was fully hard

the sirens in his brain grew louder, faster as he shuffled into position between mobs legs

"this should be it, mob, you'll feel better soon" he cooed at mob, cradling his face with his free hand, surprised to find tears along mobs cheeks

"mob? are you okay?" he asked, wondering if he'd gone too far

mob could hardly form words at this point, "need... shishou... hurts" were the only words reigen managed to hear

"should I stop?" reigen asked, even though he was fairly certain of the answer

mob shook his head quickly, "nnNo... please... please... inside," mob whined

reigen leaned down to press his lips to mobs temple, "okay... okay. you're gonna be okay. I'm gonna make you feel better, now"

mob groaned as reigen pressed his dick to mobs ass

"try to relax," reigen whispered as he pushed forward, sliding slowly inside of mob

it felt so fucking good, the press of mobs insides against him, the warmth radiating from him. he couldn't hold back a moan at the sensation

it really had been a long while

similarly, mob's stream of noises grew louder still, moans becoming more drawn out, more pleasured than pained

reigen pushed inside until his hips were pressed against mob, letting out another unrestrained moan

reigen gave mob a moment to adjust to him, before slowly drawing his hips back out and pressing forward again

a stream of "ohhh"s left mob at the sensation, and finally, finally mob was starting to feel the tension leaving his body

"m... more" he groaned, the word igniting the part of reigen he so desperately wanted to ignore, causing him to pull out and back in again, faster this time

he began thrusting into mob, rotating his hips in small circles as his body took over for him, reason and guilt leaving in favor of chasing the tight grip of mobs ass, the sounds he was drawing from the boy

"sh.. shishou, shishou... more" mob cried out, desperate for more stimulation

reigen obliged, speeding up, drawing further out of mob before slamming back into him, wet smacking sounds joining the streams of moans

reigen reached underneath mobs ass, lifting him slightly for a better angle, better leverage, causing a loud cry from mob

mobs hands eventually found their way to reigens back, fingernails drawing hidden red stripes along reigens clothed back, drawing the man closer to him,

"reigen... shishou... I need..." mob cut off, not really knowing what he needed

but reigen knew

reigen drew one hand back to mobs front, grabbing his dick and beginning to stroke it in time with his thrusts

mobs back arched off the bed with a loud moan, furniture clattering around them as mob started losing control, reigen unbothered by the prospect

he was focused on chasing the good feelings right now

"mob... oh, mob" he moaned, restraint leaving him, "you feel so good inside" he was starting to lose his rhythm, thrusts becoming more erratic as he chased their collective orgasms

mob groaned, "shishou, too... feels good. so good, reigen,"

mob was first, overcome with pleasure, coming again, small amounts of liquid squirting onto his stomach

reigen didn't last too much longer, not with mob clenching so tight around him. he pulled out as soon as he could, not wanting to spill inside of mob

reigen collapsed, angling himself to fall beside mob

both of them trying to catch their breath, reigen impatiently waiting for any sign that mob would be okay now

when, finally, mob moaned quietly, and reigen momentarily feared the worst, but mob was starting to breathe more evenly, stopped shaking, stopped tensing, and it was clear that it was finally done

mob was finally going to be okay

reigen felt relief wash over him, temporarily outweighing the guilt creeping back in

"oh thank god," he whispered, pulling mob into a hug, "I'm so sorry, mob, I'm-"

a snore interrupted him. mob was fast asleep

that made sense, reigen supposed, considering what mob had just endured

he could feel sleep pulling him in as well, and he figured he could properly apologize after sleeping

they slept there, still tangled in each other, uncertainty and anxieties temporarily forgotten

[luesmainblog]

yknow, every so often i see some casual acephobia on here, and i'm used to it, but the other day i saw something that really made it clear a lot of you just straight-up do not know what ace people go through if we don't hide ourselves. so let me clarify. it's true that ace people don't usually have people trying to legislate them out of existence the way that gay and trans people do. that's because they're still trying to medicalize us out of existence, the same way they've tried with gay and trans people. allow me to introduce you to hypoactive sexual desire disorder, or HSDD. it is considered a sexual dysfunction in some jurisdictions and is characterized as a lack or absence of sexual fantasies and desires. as judged by a clinician. it's marked when this state causes you distress. can't be explained by another mental disorder, a drug (legal or illegal), or some other medical condition. now, i will be fair and admit that this makes sense for people who are USED to feeling those sorts of things and then suddenly don't. but i want you to read that again. what does that sound like? the truth is, HSDD is a straight-up medicalization of being asexual. most of us do feel distress about it when we first come to realize it; we think there's something wrong with us, because everyone else seems to think so, too. realizing that you just don't feel something that everyone else around you puts so much importance on is INCREDIBLY distressing, and a lot of aces will try and force themselves to be 'normal'. HSDD can be used to validate that impulse. and acephobic doctors are more than happy to steer you towards that diagnosis, and not let you consider the possibility that maybe you're just Like that and it's okay. and sadly, slapping on a "don't diagnose them with this if they identify as Asexual" to the DSM definition doesn't really do anything to stop them. if you know anything about the medicalization of homosexuality in the past, this oughta sound REAL fuckin familiar. (i will also note that in the DSM-5, HSDD was split into being two separate disorders(Male hypoactive sexual desire disorder, and Female sexual interest/arousal disorder) depending on if you're a man or a woman. so, yknow, there's a nice extra layer of fucked up.) because of this, doctors and therapists often have free reign to put asexuals through what is undeniably Conversion Therapy. they put you in deeply uncomfortable situations to try and force you to feel sexual attraction, and in same cases, they may even give you medication to try and fix it. Flibanserin and bremelanotide are both approved for pre-menopausal women in the US, just as a start. and look, i'm not trying to say that this is never a problem or that everyone diagnosed with HSDD is definitely 100% an asexual and always has been and always will be. but what i am saying is, HSDD is often used as an excuse to discriminate against us. and the older you get, the more doctors start to press about these things, ESPECIALLY if you're an AFAB of child-bearing age. and sadly, this isn't even the end of it. because there are legislation that directly target asexuals, whether the word Asexual is used or not. there are the more obvious ones where we get caught up in all the other queerphobia, like when russia decided that people with "disorders of sexual preference" couldn't get driver's liscences. asexuality was specifically listed among those banned. but there are also those less obvious ones. for example, in some juristictions, your marriage can be voided if you haven't consumated it. and uh, guess who's never gonna do that? not to mention the intense problems we face in religious communities, particularly in christianity. many aces spend their entire lives feeling praised for never 'giving in to temptation', because they never felt it in the first place, only to have everyone turn on them when they get married and still don't want to do anything. and that's just one path; some families believe that we're lying or bragging when we come out, because again, it's SUPPOSED to be a temptation

that you struggle against, and this believe can lead to abuse and even disownment. and i want you to read that again, because a lot of people genuinely seem to think that nobody has ever been kicked out of their home for being ace. it does happen, and it is just as terrible as any other queer kid being kicked out for their sexuality. pretending it doesn't happen does not make it go away. TL;DR there is a LOT of dangerous bullshit that targets asexuals, and this shit spills out to affect other groups too. just because we may not face the exact same discrimination that your group does, that doesn't mean that acephobia is Lesser, or that calling it out when you see it is dismissive or trivializing to other queer groups. if it makes it easier to process, think of aces as a couple steps back in discrimination. gays had to fight for their recognition and demedicalization, and now they're facing more blatant legal discrimination. asexuals are still on the medical step/"that doesn't even really exist" step. i always do my best to boost the voices of my fellow underdogs and speak out against discrimination towards people outside of my group. can't you do the same for us? edit: apparently i wasn't clear; i'm not saying HSDD needs to disappear as a diagnosis. low libido with no apparent reason can absolutely be a scary thing, and could point to other more serious issues! especially in those who are used to it being higher! what i AM saying is that we need more awareness of asexuality so that acephobic doctors can't use HSDD to medically abuse us. and i think it would be a lot harder for them to do that if the definition was updated to be more specific than just "oh but if they call themselves asexual that's fine". we need protections for those of us who don't know that yet.