Lazy doodle for Nanosounds/Kim Richards week! Let’s just pretend Lalna drew this to mock Nano’s height, yeah? “Don’t squash me, Dunc!”
November 15 – backstory // height
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Swimming With Pigs
A little ficlet for the Yogweeks tag.
Theme: nature// friends
Word count: 700
“What the hell are you doing? I thought you said you'd get the barby sorted!”
A sheepish looking head bobbed out of the water, the wild mass of ginger hair no less unruly for being soaking wet. Three happily squealing pigs continued splashing and chasing each other around the dwarf, apparently unaware of the fact that their game, and likely their very existence, was in danger of being ended in the not so distant future.
“Barby? What barby? Ohhh, yesss. The barby. I remember now. I thought there was something.”
Xephos managed to keep his expression neutral and simply raised an 'we-both-know-you-are-lying-here' eyebrow. Honeydew had set off over two hours ago to Pig Island to get the grill going. Xephos could see clearly when his friend had suddenly lost interest in the preparations. He'd gotten as far as lifting the cover off the huge barbecue and discovering that it hadn't been cleaned after their last session.
Honeydew seemed to shuffle awkwardly in the shallows. Or maybe one of his pig friends had accidentally kicked him underwater. He threw his hands up in defeat, startling the pigs with the sudden movement.
“All right, okay, I couldn't do it. I saw the pigs in their little pen and they all looked so sad and I went in and forgot to close the gate and one got out and then they all got out and I tried to catch them – no! Honestly, I really tried, Xephos, but it's really difficult in water. And they outnumber me! And -”
“And they outsmarted you as well, did they?”
The spaceman was slowly loosing his fight to keep a straight face, his lips twitching upwards treacherously.
Honeydew seemed oblivious to his friend's amusement, trying to reach his upside down helmet, which was slowly floating out of the bay, carried by the slight current. All the while, he kept babbling about things that went wrong during his unsuccessful recapturing efforts and how it ended up 'looking' like he was just playing with the pigs, when really, he was trying to win their trust and be accepted as one of their own, to become the leader of the herd, as it were and lead them to greatness, i.e., the pig pen.
“And look!” he'd finally caught his wayward headdress and immediately plonked it onto the head of the nearest pig. “We are like a family now!”
The newest family member didn't quite seem to appreciate the honour of being given the Helmet and began wiggling and squealing in annoyance.
“Yes, I can see it now, the resemblance is uncanny. He could be your long lost twin brother. Or sister.” Xephos chuckled.
Honeydew snatched his helmet back and huffed at his friend's mockery.
“Look, Xephos, we just can't slaughter the last remaining descendants of the Lesser Spotted Derpy Pig. And we are friends now. Eating friends is wrong. You said it yourself.”
The spaceman watched his companion slowly climb out of the water, heavy footed, trying to wring water out of his beard. Back on dry land, he unceremoniously pressed his helmet into the taller man's arms, ignoring the surprised yelp, and began shaking himself like a dog.
Unfortunately for Xephos there had still been a considerable amount of water in the dwarf's beard and hair, most of which seemed to be determined to end up soaking his clothes.
“You utter bastard.” he muttered, still smiling, despite the unwanted cold shower.
“You deserved it. Wanting to eat our friends. Pah. Why don't you and Lalna just get the factory working? Then we could have jaffa cakes instead. At least they don't look at you when you want to eat 'em.”
“I don't know, if you hold two next to each other, they look like eyes to me...”
“Oh sod off! C'mon, let's get dry. And I'm hungry. You think Lalna would notice if we plucked Clucky and-”
“Wow! What happened to 'not eating friends'?!”
“Yeeaahh, but chickens can't really be friends with people though, can they? Huh, I guess we can't risk it anyway. Who knows what he'd do, if he found out we ate his favourite chicken. Ha.”
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just remembered i haven't yet done anything for honeydew's yogweek yet! i'm sorry, i'll try to pick it up tomorrow or later in the week. i'm having some health issues atm and school is happening, so i don't have as much time as i'd like :-( everything i've seen other people do has been fantastic though!
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