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#school just dumped a lot of stuff on me
ladyswillmart · 27 days
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You ever like, end up in like a Discord for a fandom you like, but the people in the Discord aren't really Your People and it's not that you don't like the people in this Discord but you're pretty sure they think you're Scum even though you're posting more or less the same stuff you post for Your People and they seem to like it just fine
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gonna do the stupid thing for my stupid mental health
#is is the right thing? who knows#but camping made me realize that being away from some of this stuff made me feel a whole lot better#camping is great at bringing back some perspective#does this make me kinda a dick? maybe#but also this responsibility shouldn’t fall solely on me#i’m gonna focus on my friends who make me feel good#and school that makes me feel productive and excited#and everything else can make the effort if it needs my time and energy and emotional investment that badly#god camping was so wet but so good#MANY cool plants and mushrooms#i got to be in the forest info dumping to a captive audience#surrounded by my friends and without the outside world being able to contact me#legit definition of my happy place#lots of cool people to spend my time with#good games and campfire vibes and goofing off with glow sticks#didn’t get as many photos or snuggles as past camping trips but that was bc it was wet#let opportune moments for photo-ops and cuddling while damp is just unpleasant#so no hammock naps but that just gets bumped over to the bucket-list for next year again#and i only had ONE mild bad brain moment#and ONE (separate) bad body moment (and that one was my fault i had two hits of some really strong weed)#(and had a very very bad time for the rest of that night but NOT as bad as last year)#(I swear to god I learned my lesson this year)#so yeah. gonna make a camping bucket list for next year and look at it when i need reminders that there are good things ahead.#personal#(Em and Kat if u see this i love u both so much thank you for including me in your tradition these past several years)#(it means the world to me and i love getting to spend the time with you all!)
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possibly-eli · 2 months
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hey guys i think im out of the trauma spiral my ex-quadmate put me in <- he is, in fact, not out of the trauma spiral his ex-quadmate put him in
#minding my own business when i out-of-nowhere remember the multiple times she caused me to panic by dumping a lot of heavy#terrifying things onto me which made me terrified of enjoying any free-time i had because “what if something goes wrong while im away”#it threw me full-force back into my “im going to sleep all the time” phase because. at least towards the end i was terrified all the time#because at any point something could go Wrong and i would have to fix it#she broke the promise we made about telling each other about any quadrant stuff#and entered a moirallegience with someone without fucking telling me#she got mad at me for doing what she wanted because. fucking thats just a thing shes allowed to do#left me to think she killed herself twice despite the fact she was watching me the entire time while i fucking panicked#and then said she “didnt want to/didnt enjoy it” as if it just HAPPENED and she didnt fucking Plan that#knowingly put me under tremendous stress despite knowing i have a cardiovascular condition that has placed me in heart attack-range before#reportedly shit-talked me behind my back the entire time we were together (and i whole-heartedly believe the person who told me#because thats the kind of shit she did)#and nobody else in her system even thought to say “oh yeah lol this is like. bad. this guy is being abused by our sysmate”#i went for almost an entire year in invisible on discord because i was terrified of people messaging me#i STILL have all discord sound notifs turned off because it makes me panic#i barely spoke with my friends and had to constantly check discord /while in school/ because of her#and like. even disregarding all the shit she did to ME. she was just a fucking awful person#just. genuinely terrible to be around#but yk#whatevs
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kakusu-shipping · 1 year
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The Mario movie has gotten me obsessed with the Mario Extended Family and general Mario History, to the point that I made myself a Mario Cousin Self Insert
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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year
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...
#sometimes u just gotta have a cringe fail weekend. is what i tell myself bc i let the fact that i forgot to check my new#email completely obliterate me. also i haven't been sleeping enough. also just the normal thoughts in my head#by which i mean the part of my brain that demands consequences for inattention by means of suffering. devine punishment.#which is irrational and annoying but knowing that doesnt seem to help. so ive just been laying here in the hopes i come unspooled and start#to disintegrate. which is annoying bc ive got stuff to do#specifically bc i am supposed to b a TA this semester. which is what i figured but also feared#so. thats gonna b a lot. tho not as much as my old school bc they dont make TAs do literally everything here apparently#but. itll b a lot. and also i have to finish signing up for classes. bc i didnt do that back in April by my brain was melting. also i have#to keep doing my job and dealing with my data. ugh. well. being a TA isnt so bad. i do like to help ppl learn even if im not very good at it#like. i struggle with thr talking to ppl part. like the transition of ny thoughts to something thst makes sense#oh well. hope i end up teaching something im not too unqualified for. i could do soils. Ecology. uhhh. maybe intro bio but i never even took#university level biology. i just skipped upper level courses. that's probably it. anything else would b a lotta faking it#ugh. im tired. i should go to sleep at 9pm. thr sun hasbt even set and i should sleep#tomorrow i have to get my shit together. but also i wanna email my new professor like hey bro like what do u want me to do???#like how do i start in this lab? when do we start talking. like just not to b pushy but whats thr procedure?#i like Structure but also its like weeks until the semester starts so we got time. im just a lil nuts#jesus. its gonna b an interesting semester. hopefully fun but uh it is sorta like taking a boat out when u can see big ominous clouds#like im sure ill b fine but also i might get dumped over into a watery grave. i just. i have a lot of papers to write#and its gonna b hard to b a student on top of that. partly bc what im gonna b doing now is almost completely unrelated#which is probably y ppl stick to the same track they stsrt on. that awkward moment when ppl ask u if ur gonna keep working with bi0crust#and ur like uhhhh no fuck that actually the work ive done in the past 4 years makes me hate myself✌️#so we r back at square 1. well not 1 bc its sorta related but its a pretty big reset#itll b fine once things start. its just thr anticipation that kills me#unrelated
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noxtivagus · 2 years
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zzz gna nap ><
#🌙.rambles#mostly ive just been posting here n then of random stuff irl havent i#gna fix that sometime but for now ill dump n just ramble#im so sleepyyyy#going on twt a bit just now n bb alphy he's just so adorable isnt he#laying beside apollo rn n they rlly love being mean to me but in a rlly cute way somehow#actually so sleepy#seeing my friends earlier in school n all was nice#we got assigned to our secret santas too n the one i'm assigned to is just rlly easy#i cant think of anymore#im rlly so sleepy#BYE ILL NAP 🥹#edit/ bcs i dont want to make a new post#realizing most of my irls do indeed barely know anything abt me 😭😭#as in not like. hmmm. idk this is all /nm#but i realize i.. unintentionally have a lot of secrets.#i hate to be inauthentic but w my most buried secrets sometimes my actions irl n the way i interact w others#end up being painfully restrained or i may. purposely be misleading but not with any harmful intent just so that i can 'hide' in a way#not too deep it's just i have secrets that. me having these wtvr r very likely unwarranted so ill hide so it wldnt create any problems#maybe.. maybe i'm too selfless sometimes i find myself sacrificing aspects of myself for the sake of others#but at the same time idk i feel st times that reaching out or asking for wtvr i want is selfish.#i know better but goddamn this is one reason why i relate to alphinaud ffxiv maybe now after all that im still a bit afraid of my real self#i shld stop that but. there really are some things that. i can't reach out first for myself#this is ambiguous this goes for several things rn#i'll delete these tags sometime bcs i dont want to give this the wrong impression nah#nvm i will delete some tags asap n ill delete the rest later
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marinecorvid · 10 months
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sorry venting
the joy of having fun little knickknacks and thingamajigs related to what you love VS. the desire to not become overwhelmed by material items + the agony overwhelming that comes with being keenly surrounded by stuff: FIGHT
#maybe it’s just bc I have ‘still living in my childhood bedroom as an adult’ syndrome#but am in the process of tidying up and it just. god. fucking bowled me over#sometime soon I gotta Marie kondo this place again#and maybe look into upgrading storage#instead of y’know sticking with the stuff I’ve been using since middle school#but also also pre Covid before (and after) my grandfather died#a lot of stress my mom was under (and me by extension) was that he was an awful hoarder#and he didn’t rlly care#but then he died and we had to take sporadic trips out to his old apartment and help his roommate/partner/person go through all his shit#and then we had to just start throwing shit out bc their rent lease end was coming up and she needed to have everything moved out#so now it’s like. I feel hypersensitive to it#and we still have so much shit in the house not even in my room#some of which is still his!!!#and it’s like….. mom wants to go through it all properly and try and sell it but I’m fucking so tired of it. just get rid of it you have an#an Outback just shove it all in your car and take a trip to goodwill and whatever goodwill doesnt take bring to the free section in the dump#but she’s not going to do that bc She’s Mom and whenever I try to just throw stuff out she says stuff that makes me second guess myself#or insists she’ll try to find someone to give it to#but then she doesn’t a lot of the time so it just sits in my room or some random spot around the house#she is picking and choosing every battle that is presented to her and she is losing and I am trying not to lose my mind
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hp-lonesome-actual-art · 11 months
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Extra doodle shenanigans with some unfiltered late night thoughts. No logic or explanation just silly
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meteorella · 2 months
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Nerdgasmic Rhapsody
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pairings: loser!dom!ellie x popular!sub!reader
cw: flufff!! ellie's an absolute cutie pie. cursing (obv), oral! (r receiving), tribbing (maybe?), nipple play, after caree!!, pet names: sweetheart, baby, princess, that's all i think!
wc: 511
a/n: (intentional lowercase!!!) first ever ficcc omg🥹 i have never ever in my life written a fanfic before so pleaseee don't judge and also feel free to point out some mistakes and stuff!! I take criticisms as i'm sure it'll help me a lot throughout my writing journey :))) can't promise I'll post consistently considering I'm insanely dumped with school works but I'll definitely find time to do so. anyways i hope u guys enjoy this one!! Feel free to hit me w some ideaaasss :3
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after you had made it official with the biggest dork on campus—ellie—people would randomly come up to you in the hallways and tease you, not believing how sweet she actually is. after all of your previous relationships, ellie is the only one who genuinely cared for you. despite her shy and nerdy demeanor, she's really fun to hang out with. she'd continuously yap about space, the comic books she's read—savage starlight—and drop all of its lore to you. the whole fucking lore. although you hardly cared. she was too adorable. most of the time, you would find yourself just looking at her sparkling green eyes, topped by her matte, black glasses, her hand gestures, and the soft smile plastered on her lips while she speaks. she's even more beautiful up close. how could others not see that? whilst ellie can be a total cutie pie, you cant deny how fucking insane she can be in bed.
when eating you out, she'd flick her tongue out relentlessly on your leaking hole. firmly gripping on to your thighs, she already knows your next motive. "nuh-uh, sweetheart. keep them open for me." she shoots you a knowing glare before diving back into your drenched core, keeping eye contact all the while. her gaze roamed over your appearance, hair disheveled, eyes rolled back, and completely fucked out. "s-sorry, baby–fuck." you moaned as you clutched onto her dino-printed sheets. so fucking cute. after you'd climaxed for the 3rd time, she'd climb on top of you and slip her tongue down your throat, allowing you to taste yourself as she grinded her own throbbing cunt against yours. your soaking wet pussies rubbing, and creating the most delicious rhythm together. she absolutely loved your boobs. she adored how it just bounces up and down as she rolled her hips above you. she took your nipple in between her thumb and her index finger and pinched them, making you flinch at the feeling. her glasses were all fogged up and crooked, but she couldn't care less. she was too engrossed on drawing out more of those angelic sounds that slips past your lips as she pleases you. "doing s–so good f'me, princess... fuck–so hot." when you had both finally reached your peak, she'd lean down and gently clean up all your juices from between your thighs with her tongue.
she gives absolutely the best aftercare imaginable. the routine would start with cleaning you up with a wet towel, swiping it's soft material across your face, your breasts, your legs, your inner thighs—she had always taken care of you in the most tender and loving way. she loved hearing your soft, exhausted sighs of relief, as you watch her with a smile on your face all while savoring the chocolate she so graciously offered you. after ellie finishes cleaning you up, she would settle beside you, enveloping you in her arms as she wrapped them around your waist. her lips showering your neck with gentle kisses as she whispered heartfelt words of affection. "i'm going to marry you one day."
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YAAALLLL OMG I HOPE THIS DIDN'T SUCK TOO HARD😣😣😣🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 i hope u guys enjoyed this one, i really enjoyed writing thisss!!
tags: @ellstronaut
dividers: @khaer @plutism
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evilminji · 5 months
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Okay, so maybe it's just me? Projecting my new Tea Phase?
Cause for med reasons, no more energy drinks, only Teeeeeeaaaaa~☆
But honestly? Now that I am an adult and ACTUALLY KNOW HOW TO MAKE IT? Really digging it! Am enjoying the Teas. Mmmmmmm~ leaf broth. I like the fruity ones.
So! IMAGINE~☆ If you will:
Danny. 14 and his parents are LOUD AS FUCK (CRASH BANG SMASH BANG WHIIII-) dispite it being, once again, a school night. This has been going one For Years. That STUPID fucking machine. All God damned hours. Crashes and bangs and powertools. Explosions.
When will it ever end!
He's... he's honestly used it.
Unknowingly? This is is a skill that will come in handy later. Living and functioning while sleep deprived. Healthy? Fuck no. But it's USEFUL. He IS the ten year old downing Monster drinks in the parking lot before school.
It makes him a jittery weirdo. Twitchy. Too much caffeine, not enough sleep, his parents either blew up or TOOK APART the washing machine AGAIN. He... he never stood a chance. It's a miracle the indoor plumbing hasn't been compromised yet... AGAIN.
His blood is more sugar, caffeine, and guarana or whatever those other things in the can are, then actual human blood. He doesn't CARE. He just needs too get decent grades, graduate, and become an astronaut. It's... it's FINE. This is normal. They're FINE.
(If they weren't... someone would have noticed, right? Would have DONE something. Cared. So it HAS to be fine. His family's just weird. It's FINE.)
But THEN...
The Accident.
And his biology CHANGES. Green goo, wrapped vicious and loving, around his very DNA. Like Kintsugi of the body and soul. In green, Green, GREEN. It... it's a lot. Everything changing all at once. Maybe that's why it takes him so long to notice.
Why he thinks "oh, I'm just tired cause I'm running more then usual. Fighting and flying. Doing ghost stuff."
When... when honestly? Some part of him always kinda KNEW. From the very moment he stumbled out of the portal. The aftershocks. The pain. Sam and Tucker crying, scrambling to help him up the stairs. Sam tearing her bag apart looking for her cramps medicine. Because... because pain medication is pain medication.
"It's gonna be okay, Danny. Please. Please god, just take it! I promise it's gonna be okay!"
How do you look your panicked, crying, strongest-person-you-know best friend in the eyes and tell her... you can FEEL it dissolving in your throat. Like the pills were dumped in a human shaped pot of acid. That... that the pain isn't changing... and you... you don't think it's going too.
When you're scared. Might be dying. And you can already tell they think it's their fault. W... when you're all just KIDS. And all you can think is... you can let them know how bad... how bad it hurts...
They'd never be able to live with that knowledge.
Yeah. Yeah, Sam. Thanks. T... The pills helped a lot. He feels better. You really saved the day. He lo... loves you guys so much.
...
.....
He thinks about that moment A LOT. About how much he realized and knew, before the denial kicked in. Before he got so... Tired. Fresh of all that energy. And? You'd think he realize. The mood swings. The irritability. The headaches that disappear the SECOND he goes ghost. That he's in caffeine withdrawal. But? Nope.
He kinda blames the constant ghost attacks for distracting him.
But see... Sam? Doesn't drink tea. Goes against her diet. Tucker was where he GOT his illicit borderline illegal energy drinks. And his sister? Big on flavored sparkling waters. Which are gross to him.
His PARENTS drink a thick tar they insist is coffee. It might be liquid fudge. Zone knows its nearly the same consistency. It's horrifying. No thanks, he wants to LIVE.
It's? Ironically? Mr. Lancer and his constant detentions, that help Danny realize somethings up. Because Mr. Lancer shares. If he makes a cup for himself, he'll make one for you. It's how he was raised. And, yeah, the after school detentions? Those were herbal blends. No caffeine.
But...
But they tasted nice. Were warm. The classroom was quiet and as frustrating as it was? The tea itself? Was always... the one exception to how shit the situation was. So Danny finally broke down and asked about it. Learned Mr. Lancer knew a? Surprisingly LOT about tea. Huh.
Then one day he gets SATURDAY detention. Oh joy!
Bright and early. One of the few times he could be trying, desperately, to be sleeping through his parents cacophony. Catching up on his desperately needed Zzz's. Here he is... getting a handed a new cup of different tea?
Breakfast blend? And a bagel..
N...none hostile breakfast? A quiet space to catch up on his homework? No Dash? Just... just a quiet classroom, some tea, and the sounds on a peaceful morning outside?
......oh.
It's the best time he's had in school in... God, in YEARS. He gets so MUCH done. For once can concentrate. And? Actually, now that he thinks about it? Feels... awake? Or at the very least, not as sleepy. And being a Fenton, whom to the LAST are a genius if eccentric family, it's pretty damn easy to put two and two together.
Tea.
He felt more awake after having Lancer's breakfast blend tea.
He obviously asks about it. Then, after detention is done. Calm packs up. Goes home. Drops his back in his room. Goes ghost. And SHOOTS for the Far Frozen with his phone and an energy drink. Because clearly he's missing something and it's time to ask.
The good doctors of the Frozen are... gently horrified. Clawed hands steeples infront of their mouths as they try to tactfully figure out how to word "Great One, WHAT THE FUCK!?!? Why would you DO THIS TO YOURSELF!?" Because that... is not professional. Breathe. In, out, in, out. We can do this.
They get the most patient and restrained of their elders to... CALMLY, very VERY Calmly, ask some medical questions. Listen. Without judgements! Because they are medical professionals. Who do NOT want to scream, forever, into the void. Certainly not. So Calm! (They are going to BURN THAT CAN IN-)
Which! Huh. Yeah, that explains the constant exhaustion. He was poisoning himself. Kinda. Not so much the GHOST but the human half. Putting to much strain and too much trace chemicals, minerals, and buckets of sugar. General "mmmm :/ Don't Like THAT ™" energy from the Goo causing it too try and constantly burning it all out of existence. Endlessly.
The more he put in, the more there was to burn. The more there was to burn, the more tired he became. The more tired he became... well, the more he put in. It was a slowly lethal starvation cycle. Big Yikes.
The TEA on the other hand? Those are leaves. The good recognizes leaves and water. Other various plants, dried or otherwise. It ignores them as "fine" until they reach a "problematic" threshold, apparently? So... *blank look at the doctor*
*sighs in medical professional*
Tea? Good. Satan Can of Halfa Poison? Bad. Please drink tea.
👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻
And it's like MAGIC. He's suddenly BACK, baby! Ha ha ha! Skulker you fuckin THOUGHT?! Oh it's 2am? Well SUPRISE bitch! He's bright eyed and bushy tailed! His grades are up AND he's beating you like a drum! He has ice breakers for old people discussions now!! The local Tea Shops have NEVER been so well protected.
He actually manages to graduate with not just decent grades? But GOOD ones.
And the second. The INSTANT. He is legally his own man? Has his important paperwork squirrelled away and the go bags safely WELL outside of Amity. It's time. He meets OUTSIDE the house, because he's not an idiot. He's been practicing his Clones and has them ready to grab his parents so he can get out of there alive. Jazz is on video call from Star city.
His parents... suspected. Not at first, but as goofy as they are? They aren't ACTUALLY idiots. They've been watching, going over old research. Trying, failing, to get in touch with the League to have THEIR team test their research. Peer review is critical after all. They... they had been so certain. Are still somewhat certain.
But their research doesn't exactly ACCOUNT for this "halfa" phenomenon. So, there is a very real chance they are missing something. The one thing the DO know? Danny is their son. Stuck in some eternal mortally wounded state or not, he is a hero. And they weren't there for him.
They can't change their beliefs on a dime. But they've clearly missed a great deal. And refuse to fall to academic bias. The very thing that got them LAUGHED AT for decades. Mocked and belittled. This is their life's work. By God they WILL find out the truth.
It's? Better then he could have hoped. Not perfect. But better.
He helps set up safeties and a security check point at the portal. Both sides. He's kinda a big deal these days, mom, dad. Ghost scientists eager to work with them. A whole TEAM under their command. It certain endears ghosts to them a whole lot more. Then?
Copy of the blue prints, go bag turned into normal bags, Danny's off to college.
Bounces from major to major. Nothing really capturing his interest. As he aged, he's need less sleep. Gotten stronger. Grown into his father's height and grandfathers build. Tucker keeps calling him a dorito. Danny retaliates with Ancient Egyptian Cyber/Pharoah Twink allegations. According to SAM they are both dumbasses.
She's not WRONG... but hey D:<
Eventually? A really niche botany seminar run by Pamela Isely catches the attention of Tucker, who forwards it to him n Sam. Nice ™. It's being held in her Murder Park! Cool! Obviously they have to go. So off to Gotham they go. And? When they get there? Sam is APPALLED.
She may HATE landlords as much as the next activist.... but LOOK at all these run down, foreclosed, rotting buildings! Beautiful gothic infrastructure! Those could be businesses or homes! Danny, busy with signing them up, makes the mistake of tuning her out as she rants in fury. She does this some times. Needs to vent. Uh huh, you're very right. You should contact somebody. I agree. Mmmhmmm.
Hey, Sam, Ms. Isely needs your-....
Sam?
Oh FUCK ™.
By the time the Seminar come around? Sam has violently kicked in the door of more then a feel reality offices. Owns QUITE a few buildings. Danny is sweating. She... she's doing the THING again. The "gimme your Ghost Crew, I KNOW you have a highly specific Ghost Crew, don't you DARE lie to me or I take your knee caps, Danny" stare.
>.> Sam you can't keep doin- *stare intensifies* Yes Ma'am. *Pulls out Fenton phone* and so? Here come the renovation crew. The ONLY honest building Crew in all of Gotham. They cut no corners. Can't be threatened. Gangs, villians, and even local government office try to arrange... accidents on the build sites.
Nothing. Nada. In fact, it turns out more dangerous for THEM then this crew of outsiders!
Wtf!
Then? After these two College age weirdos finish Poison Fuckin Ivys HIGHLY SUSPECT biology seminar? Manson fucks off to who knows where! Leaving what HAS to be "the muscle" behind. Cause I mean? Look, at the guy! He's huge! And what does he do?
Goes building to building. Rents them out to low income families. Honest, hard working shop keepers. And? Eventually decides to settle smack dab in the middle of Gotham, in the shadow of Wayne fuckin tower, spitting distance from the Space museum..... and open? A tea shop? The FUCK?
"The Zone".
In a weird shade of green. With little ghosts, wearing crowns, because and I quote "it's funny"? Certainly crazy enough for Gotham. But like, it's loud as FUCK here. Crowded. There are gas attacks and shit. It'll never las-....
It stays untouched for MONTHS.
Sometimes being the ONLY building near it to be untouched. Gas NEVER getting in. The damn place a BUNKER. And? Despite looking like it's two floors? It's three. You enter and your actually on the second floor. No one's even sure where the fuck the guy LIVES, since he never seems to leave.
Not only THAT. But it... it's like one of those old school apothecaries. Big ol bank of drawers. Guy'll mix up your blend for you right as you watch. Tea nuts are actually risking COMING to Gotham to try his stuff. Writing articles. Apparently he has some pretty rare shit in those drawers.
Some UNKNOWN shit, according to one guy on ViewTube.
There's this whole debate on if it's Ultra Super Rare or that means it's just super cheap knock off crap. Some of them he won't make for people, even if they ask. There's a rumor it's for Meta's with specific diets. Or alien blends. But no one can verify that. Cause like?
Anyone who tries to cause trouble?
Can't fucking FIND the place. And if you're already inside? You just... drop. Stone cold unconscious. It's definitely magic but no one knows if it's HIS or Manson's? You know? He won't talk. Gets annoyed when harrased.
Which off course!
Leaves Only ONE gentleman for the job. An elite special forces trained expert. Polite, dignified, enjoyer of fine Teas. Alfred "Why do you chucklefucks keep forgetting I was in the Queens Service and a Registered Badass" Pennyworth.
After all! He DOES have the days shopping to do.
@babbling-babull @the-witchhunter @hdgnj @legitimatesatanspawn @lolottes
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steddiealltheway · 11 months
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Steve can see it in Max. That same loneliness and ache that he finds in himself. For him, it’s result of his parents leaving with no intent to return to him unless absolutely necessary.
He knows he was an accident. Or rather a mistake as his father used to call him when he was particularly angry. But it made sense to him. Steve's the reason his father had to marry his mother. He left him "trapped." And maybe no one says it out loud, but he can tell his mother feels the same way too.
But they must keep up appearances, right?
Which is what Max has been trying to do since Billy died, El moved away, and it's been just her and her mom. But she's been going about it through a different route - pushing people away all while pretending things are fine. But Steve sees the way she picks up the broken pieces of her mom and tries to put them back together - Steve's had to do the same thing before.
So, he starts sticking around a little longer. Offering her more rides to the arcade and around town to pick up groceries when she needs to. Sometimes he'll tell her about a new recipe he's been trying for a casserole and pick up the ingredients, pretending like the milk and butter he bought will spoil by the time he drives home from her trailer.
Of course, they both know it's a lie, but Max humors him and plays along. She'll let him cook dinner while she picks up the bottles her mom left on the floor, dumps out the overflowing ashtray, and feeds the dog. Usually, Steve will ask her what she's learning in school and linger a little longer than usual in hopes that she'll say more than the usual, "I don't know. A bunch of boring stuff."
But lingering has gotten a lot of things out of Max such as her love for Kate Bush, a story about El and how much she misses her, and short quips about Lucas before she gets a sad smile on her face. Steve doesn't really know what to say most of the time, but he hopes that just being there will help.
Unfortunately, lingering and just being there has led him to his current predicament of none other than Eddie "The Freak" Munson sitting on the hood of his car glaring at him as he walks out of Max's place. Steve jumps a little, startled by the figure on his car and becoming more hostile as he sees the expression on his face. He shoves his hands in his pockets and slows his pace. "Is there a problem?"
Eddie snorts humorlessly. "Christ. You're really going to pretend like there's nothing wrong with what's happening?"
Steve's brows furrow, entirely missing whatever point he's trying to make.
Eddie stands up and stalks toward him. "I see you, you know. Always lurking around when her mom isn't home. Coming out of her trailer late at night."
Steve laughs, finally understanding the absurd conclusion he's come to. "Jesus, man. You're delusional."
Steve doesn't expect it, but Eddie sharply shoves his chest and grits, "I don't fucking lie to me, Harrington."
Steve holds his hands up. "I'm not," he firmly states. "Nothing like that is happening here. I'm glad you're looking out for her, but it isn't like that."
"Do you expect me to believe that? Maybe this is why you're always hanging around Henderson and the other kids."
Steve crosses his arms and his jaw tenses. "I'm not a fucking pervert or a pedophile if that's what you're trying to say. I'm just looking after them."
"Why?" Eddie asks, dramatically opening his arms, "Why would King Steve adopt a group of misfits to take under his wing? See, the math isn't adding up."
Usually, Steve would just brush it off and tell the person to fuck off and mind their own business. But his parents have just left town again without leaving a note and Max had snapped when Steve tried to help her clean the place because it looked worse than usual, and he was just generally feeling like shit and angry at his parents and Max's parents for not being there. So he broke, "Because I don't want Max to end up like me! I don't want any of those kids to grow up without a role model. And god forbid if any of those other kids' parents fuck up, and they’re left with only me. I need them to know that I'm there for them! Because sometimes it feels like whenever the world goes to shit, I'm the only one who is there, and I plan to stay there, okay?!"
He finishes his rant breathing a little heavier than usual and noticing that a few of the lights in the trailers have turned on around them. He looks around and awkwardly nods to the people glaring out their windows. God, he needs to get a grip.
When he turns back to Eddie, he notices the conflicted expression, jaw dropped, eyebrows knitted together, eyes searching him as if he's still wondering if he's lying.
A door creaks open behind them and Steve curses under his breath as he hears Max say, "Eddie, leave him alone. Do you really think I would hook up with my damn babysitter? Jeez."
"Language," Steve quietly lectures as the door swings shut. He runs his hands over his face and takes a deep breath. It's been a long fucking day.
A hand lands on his arm and tugs him away from Max's trailer. Steve glances up at Eddie, leading him across the way. "Where are we going?"
"My place," Eddie says.
"Why?"
"So we can talk."
God, the last thing he wants to do is talk to Eddie of all people, the guy he's been actively avoiding since Dustin started worshipping the ground - or rather tables - he walks on. But he lets himself be pulled away in the trailer and practically deposited on the couch in the living room.
He glances up and comments, "That's a lot of mugs."
"My uncle's, but that's not what I wanted to... Christ," Eddie says, pacing in front of Steve and tugging his hair in front of his face. The anxious display makes Steve feel even more tired, but he lets him pace. God, what is he even doing here?
"I'm sorry," Eddie blurts out. "I'm just..." he trails off and rushes over to grab a stool a few feet away before dragging it in front of the couch. He sits on it but his leg still holds that nervous energy as it rapidly bounces up and down. "I jumped to conclusions, and it was really shitty of me, man. I just... didn't believe what Henderson was saying about you and thought 'Oh, this makes way more sense than Steve Harrington being a good dude.' And I'm sorry to accuse you of that. And I... I didn't know about your... parents and stuff. Like I knew they were away a lot because of your parties but... I just never connected the dots. And I'm sorry. No one deserves that shit, man."
Steve doesn't know what to do this whole interaction, especially with it coming from Eddie Munson who he doesn't think he's ever talked to before this moment, but... he needs to hear it. God, he needs to hear it.
Of course, he can't let him know this, so he does what he's best at and brushes it off. "It's fine. You were just looking out for the kids. And really just ignore what I said back there, it isn't that big of a deal."
Eddie worries his bottom lip before he blurts out, "I know what it's like." He pauses and takes a deep breath. "I mean, I know what it's like to have... absent parents. But in my case, eventually, my uncle Wayne took me in, and I can only imagine if he didn't." He gives him a pointed look and lowers his voice, "Do you have someone like that?"
A big part of Steve wants to leave right now, and he knows there's nothing stopping him. But a bigger part of him needs to stay. Needs to talk about the emptiness in his house that he can never truly escape at the end of the day that he can’t talk to anyone about. Because he's not supposed to be weak. He's supposed to take care of the others. So he admits, "No, I don't have... anyone like that. Except Robin but..."
"That's different," Eddie finishes the thought for him.
Steve nods. He loves Robin, but he loves her as a platonic soulmate and not as a parent figure in his life. "You know, I once had this basketball coach in middle school - Mr. Weston. And I remember looking up to him so much. I wanted to be just like him, and I would go to his office during lunch and ask him for advice or talk about dumb shit that my father would never talk about. But he never shamed me for my questions. And sometimes he even packed an extra dessert for me." Steve smiles at the memories and runs a hand through his hair, remembering the day he got the news. "But one time, when I went to his office, he had this look on his face. And I just knew it was bad news. And really, it wasn't bad news to him because his wife was pregnant. But she wanted to move a few states away to raise the kid closer to her family. And it wasn't his fault, you know? It wasn't like he purposely chose to move away from me, but I felt like I was abandoned again."
Steve wipes a tear from his eye and puts his head in his hands. "God, I don't know why I'm even telling you this story. Sorry."
"Don't apologize," Eddie says quickly. He pauses and shifts on the stool, his gaze being far away. "I remember him. He was one of the only gym teachers that defended me against all the shitty middle school bullies. He was a good person.”
Steve nods. God, he was a good person.
Eddie continues, “I'm sorry that he left. And I bet he still regrets leaving you behind."
Steve leans back against the couch and looks away, shaking his head. "I bet he forgot about me."
"You're kind of hard to forget."
Steve looks at Eddie and sees a slight blush on his cheeks as he shakes his head and waves his hands as if trying to make the comment go away. "What I mean is that there's no way he's forgotten about you. Someone who you used to have lunch with all the time to the point of giving you free food... Nah, man. He remembers you. I think you may have been as important to him as he was to you."
The thought breaks away at a wall Steve had built up long ago. "Thanks," he practically whispers.
Eddie just smiles at him, small dimples appearing on his cheeks.
"You didn't deserve it either, you know," Steve says. "The absent parent stuff. Even with Wayne, they should've been here too."
Eddie's smile falters a bit as he swallows and looks at the ground. "Thanks," he mumbles. He looks up at Steve and comments, "Getting sappy with Steve Harrington. Who knew."
"Yeah, getting sappy with Eddie Munson," Steve echoes back at him.
Eddie laughs, "I'm surprised you even know my name."
"You're kind of hard to forget," Steve says easily.
That same blush comes back to Eddie who shifts in his chair a bit as if he needs to process the information with his whole body.
They sit in the moment for a bit before Eddie gets a somewhat serious look on his face and offers, "You know, I'm definitely not a parent figure or anything, but I'm always here and around to talk about that whole thing if you need to."
Steve's heart beats a little faster at the sheer genuineness. "Same here," he can't help but offer in return. He glances down at his watch and sighs, "It's getting late, so I better..."
"Right," Eddie says, standing up and leading him to the door. "Do you need water for the road or anything?"
Steve smiles and pats him on the back without thinking too hard about it. "I'm good, man. But thank you. For everything really."
"Sorry for being an asshole," Eddie apologizes again.
"Usually that's my line," Steve accidentally voices before cringing a bit, wondering further why Eddie's been so kind to him.
But as he opens the door, Eddie comments, "I don't know. It seems like Dustin was right about the whole reformed jock thing. Maybe your crown really has fallen - which is a good thing by the way."
Steve slightly smiles at him before he turns to leave. But he can't help but say, "I wonder what the neighbors will think about me leaving your trailer so late."
Eddie groans then laughs. "Sorry to ruin your image."
"I wouldn't mind," Steve replies, honestly unsure what he means by that. "Goodnight, Eddie."
"Goodnight, Steve," Eddie says, that same blush on his cheeks, only this time Steve isn't sure if it's something he said or a result of the cold night air.
In bed that night, Steve feels a slight weight lifted from him and can't help but feel like he’s a little less alone.
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mr-walkingrainbow · 1 year
Text
CALLING ALL MONSTER HIGH FANS. I JUST MET GARRETT. AND I WAS ABLE TO SCAVENGE SO MUCH LORE AND CONFIRMED HEADCANONS TO YOU. THIS IS ALL SAID BY GARRET OR CONFIRMED. I HAVE SPOKEN TO GOD AND HE HAS SPOKEN BACK
#1. Robecca and Venus were implied and ARE dating!!! He said it was like. Just like other monsters they had tried putting hints and characteristics into monsters that we could see and relate too. (He also said it outright down here. Lol I got all the proof guys!)
2. They never actually came up with Jane Boolittles Origins. And yes Dr. Morou and Dr. Boolittle raised her. But it was always a thing to them they'd say ‘oh well get back to this’. And then they never did. When asked; he genuinely doesn’t remember what they had planned for her.
3. a REALLY big mystery solved and lore dump guys. This one’s juicy. I KNOW HOW SPECTRA DIED. I KNOW HOW SHE DIED. AND WHAT THE TRAUMATIC STORY WAS FOR HER. I ACTUALLY FUCKING KNOW! Y’all ready? Drumroll…. It was, a, CAR CRASH! Yes you heard me. THE VONDERGEIST FAMILY ALL DIED IN A CAR CRASH. I think he said he she just came with her family off skirts and they got into an accident. I’ll reblog this with the video of him saying it!
4. Toralei lives in a monster high housing/boarding building when she is not attending school. This place is used for kids who do not have a place to go too, or if their home is too far to return to easily. I think there was an error somewhere where she mentioned parents? I mentioned that to him and he was very confused/didn’t remember. Reconfirmed that if she wasn’t in the monster high housing area. She would have been in either Jail or The streets.
5. Robecca was not rebuilt for 100 years due to Misogyny. Also because it had to go into the lines of her ‘mysteriously’ disappearing for her to have her comeback. I asked about how it was low key such a dark story, and he mentioned that since technically Monster high was the ‘horror’ genre. He was able to get away with things like that.
6. the Vampire Heart mystery! So remember how in Friday night frights we all see Ghoulia place a Robot Heart into Robeccas chest. Something that is very clearly not the Vampires heart? But then suddenly in Frights camera action it’s there? Well, technically that’s an official Error by the crew. He actually said he noticed it, and told management and stuff like ‘won’t people notice it?’ And they were all like ‘nah it will be fine no one will notice’. But then we all clearly did lol. He also said that because if this, he came up with the idea that the Vampires heart was ENCASED in the Robot heart we saw in Friday night frights. Ergo, explaining how Robecca had two hearts in one body! (It’s also confirmed Hexiciah placed the Vampires heart into her while he was building her. Which would explain why she didn’t remember it was their).
#7. Gooliope Jellingtons Origins. I asked what her origins were. And basically, she DOES NOT have any parents. She was CREATED IN A LAB. Which apparently didn’t treat her right. So she ESCAPED the lab and ran away to the circus! (Or blobbed away?) because he also confirmed, she was the blob. Or based off the blob. She wasn’t actually like. The daughter of the blob. She WAS the blob itself.
#8. Kiyomi Haunterly is Gay! I know this is was already somewhat canon and said before. But I asked and he confirmed it that she was in fact, Gay. And he tried to show it in her diary.
#9. We’re reaching some only implied/supported things. Not fully confirmed or intended. But Kala Mer’ri has BPD. I asked about if she has anything like BPD cause I relate and saw that a lot in her. He replied that he did try to make attributes for each Character specifically so we could related to them like that. And that it was to also make sure every character wasn’t a carbon copy of another. Basically. He didn’t like. Outright say ‘yes. She has bpd’. But he also didn’t disprove it. And he reacted positively to the idea and supported it.
#10. Robecca Steam has ADHD. It’s basically the same as above. Although he did like the note that I (someone with adhd) specifically had the same traits with Robecca, even more specifically, that we both are ALWAYS late. And can never keep track of time to save our unlife.
11. Dedyet DeNile Origins. He actually completely forgot about Cleo’s Mother eventually being reunited. I had asked how she had ended up in that same weird time loop Tomb thag Hexiciah was stuck in. (Which they were eventually freed by Robecca in her SDCC diary). He said he completely forgot about that. And genuinely didn’t remember anything about it. I basically re-explained the whole thing and he was very interested. Unfortunately. Not to much origins to go on.
11. here’s a canon one! What happened to Aamanita Nightshade after she left the DeNiles in the tomb. It was kinda funny, but he basically was like ‘Amanita went up and was just like ‘Peace!’’ And then never came back.’ She goofed around a bit, buuut it wasn’t entirely like her fault? She quickly went back to sleep after breaching the surface. So yeah. She was not awake for long. She quickly went back into flower mode until she woke up again at the Gloom and Bloom party.
12. He’s working on another one of his Monster prints! He sells them on his online shop here
He’s currently working on Toralei!!!!! He said he was working on her on the way over. And that he was trying to go in Order of the G1 doll releases. He mentioned he had only done Skelita out of Order because she was like ‘that one’ who was INSANELY popular with fans when she came out. Especially in Mexico. It’s also why she was the only Funko pop made who was not part of the main ghouls.
13. Random. But he actually didn’t create each backstory individually by himself. In the beginning he did A LOT. Like Frankie was the first backstory he ever created. And it got more help and divided as more and more characters were introduced.
14. he has read every single diary for every monster. Cool little fact cause DAMN theirs a whole bunch of them.
15. everything in the Ghoulfriends book series is CANON in the monster verse.
And that is ALL FOLKS! I had held those questions in for about 7-8 years. So it was everything to me to have them answered and confirmed! I really tried to ask everything that was a huge mystery to us monster folks. And I hope you guys are excited to see all these new CANON facts!!!
I’m sorry if this is not everything. Just like Robecca. I forget stuff pretty easily. I’m wracking my brain for every little detail. Unfortunately my father didn’t record as much as I would have liked. But he did get some perfect key moments! And I’ll make sure to reblog with those moments as proof of confirmation!
I love y’all! Make sure this goes viral so every monster high fan gets to hear the news!
Signing out, I’m Tumblr Spectra Vondergeist, and I report the news.
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mcrslover · 7 months
Text
MCR quotes for anyone who needs them:
"Kids would say they were going to kill themselves then they heard our music... it's our mission"
- Mikey Way.
...
"Reasons why mcr is good for you
juradsleigh:
Feeling like a rad vampire? Listen to bullets
Feeling angry? Listen to 3 cheers
Feeling sad? Listen to black parade
Feeling colourful and happy? Listen to danger days
Feeling like breaking up your band? Listen to death never stop you"
...
"This is for every kid out there... That dyed their hair a fucked up colour and can't get a job. They got a tattoo on their neck like Frank, and can't get a job. That does this because they fuckin' love this. This song is for every kid in the audience- even if you don't have fucked up hair or tattoos-every kid on stage, this song's about us, this song's about you, it's called The Kids From Yesterday."
- Gerard Way.
...
"Stop covering your children's eyes.
Everything is fucked up and pretending it's not won't make it any better. I'm tired of people praying for a change when it's up to them to get off their asses and make a change."
- Frank Iero.
...
"I spent most of my time in the back of the class, just drawing. My goal was to not get noticed in school, because spent so long not being noticed anyway or being treated as if I were invisible that I started to like it.
I've learned that it's actually not very lonely... It's like, you have less friends but the friends you have count more. I met a lot of people that weren't outsiders, or they were very popular, and they have a lot of friends but I don't know if they're the kinds of friends you would call up at 3 am to help you out or talk about being depressed."
- Gerard Way.
...
"Promise me, when MCR's gone, you'll do what it takes to survive. You're strong enough to do it without us."
- Gerard Way.
...
"All your quirks and all your problems, even your depressions, and your failures that's.. that's what makes you, you."
- Gerard Way.
...
"If you or someone you know is severely depressed you need to fucking talk to someone! Your mom, someone in school, I don't give a fuck! Because suicide is fucking bullshit."
- Gerard Way.
...
"Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections."
- Gerard Way.
...
"Nothing is worth hurting yourself over, nothing is worth taking your life over"
- Gerard Way.
...
"If we never play another show again, just keep yourself alive."
- Gerard Way.
...
"We're outsiders, we're the kids who didn't get dates for the prom, we're the kids who were confused, who didn't fit in with the cliques, who weren't part of the in-crowd.
Growing up can be a very frightening and confusing time, and I think people look at us and see it's okay to be different. They see that there is a way other than what they're being offered. That you can stand out, that you can be creative, that you can be yourself."
- Gerard Way.
...
"gerard-hey:
I love MCR so much it's like they have a song for every situation. Feeling sad? Listen to The Lights Behind Your Eyes. Feeling frustrated? Listen to I'm Not Okay. Feeling Energetic? Listen to Na Na Na. Feeling like you wanna kick some ass? Listen to Destroya.
Feeling rebellious? Listen to Teenagers. Feel like you wanna break up your band? Listen to Fake Your Death."
...
"The difference we want to make is, number one, to let these kids know that they're not alone, that they're actually not that messed up, and that they can do whatever they want they can express themselves in any way they want without being persecuted or called a faggot or some kind of racist thing. Really just get people to get over their stuff so they can live."
- Gerard Way.
...
"Whatever happens to you, no matter what, l'm always fucking there for you... Don't forget that. I don't give a shit if your boyfriend dumps you. If your girlfriend dumps you. If you're working a shitty job or can't get through school. If you can't get through a fucking Harry Potter book, there's nothing worth dying over. There's nothing worth taking your life over. I will always fucking be there."
- Gerard Way.
...
"If you come to an MCR show, you're probably a little fucked up, and that's okay because we're just as fucked up as you. It's us against the world. And it's great because there's thousands of us in one place."
- Gerard Way.
...
"Someone doesn't like you? Fuck it.
Having a bad day? Fuck it. Didn't get that job, or that grade, or that promotion you wanted? Fuck it. Fighting with your lover? Fuck it. Feel fat today? Fuck it. Losing control of everything and everyone? Fuck it.
What matters now won't matter soon; the truly important thing is that you are alive, and that you have the capacity to do absolutely anything with this beautiful, crazy coincidence of being on this earth. Just stick your middle fingers in the air and think, 'Damn, I have it good."
- Gerard Way.
...
"You're going to come across a lot of shitty bands, and a lot of shitty people. And if anyone of those people call your names because of what you look like, or bedause they don't accept you for who you are. I want you to look right at that mother fucker, stick up your middle finger and scream
"FUCK YOU!!"
- Gerard Way.
...
"Real revenge is making something of yourself."
- Gerard Way.
❤️🖤❤️🖤
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aparttimewriter · 6 months
Text
STARSTRUCK: part fourteen
charles leclerc x singer reader x lando norris
summary: charles and y/n take the next step in their relationship, but will lando just sit back and watch
yourusername
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liked by lilyhme, y/nsister, charles_leclerc and 743,567 others
yourusername: we had a lot of good times but so long london, murphy and i will miss you xx
view all 25,677 comments
ferraricharles: y/n moving from london !! is this hinting at her moving in with charles ??
lilyhme: so excited for our coffee dates !!
y/nfans: did we see lily’s comment ! is that a monaco move confirmed
teamleclerc: charles and y/n moving in together wasn’t on my bingo card !
y/nsister: better start learning french for when i come visit xx
—yourusername: how many french exams did you fail in high school again?
norrispapaya: think i can hear lando’s heart shattering
charles_leclerc: why did you bringing so many suitcases ??
— yourusername: because i am a girl who owns a lot of stuff
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yourusername
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liked by charles_leclerc, francisca.cgomes, landonorris and 823,677 others
tagged: landonorris, charles_leclerc
yourusername: a little monaco photo dump
view all 28,567 comments
charles_leclerc: so happy i get to wake up next to you ever morning now x
—yourusername: same baby, but maybe stop stealing the covers
leclercboxbox: ahhh i can’t handle how cute they are together
mclarenboys: not lando third wheeling 😂
y/nstans: we must protect y/n and charles happiness !
tifosicharles: stop ! they are so in love with each other 😊
landonorris: umm rude not showing my face
—yourusername: didn’t want to disrupt the aesthetic look to my post
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yoursuername posted to their story
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viewed by charle_leclerc and landonorris and 16,568 others
yourusername
📍 Paris, France 🇫🇷
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liked by lilymhe, charles_leclerc pierregasly and 856,789 others
tagged: charles_leclerc
yourusername: in the city of love with my love couldn’t be luckier ❤️❤️
lilymhe: how are you both so cute together
—alex_albon: we look better
—yourusername: lies
y/nstans: i can’t get over how in love they look with each other
ferrarileclerc: will defend them with my life
pierregasly: rude that you didn’t visit me
leclercboxbox: all these deluded lando stans can now clearly see who y/n is in love with
charles_leclerc: how did i get so lucky x
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tagged list: @urfavnoirette @formulaal @maplesyrupsainz @celestialend @janeholt3 @starz4me1 @landossainz @k4marina @partyinpitlane @nessacarty1 @ssprayberrythings @1655clean @belennasif @basicchelsea @eviethetheatrefreak @champagneproblems17 @noneofyourfbusinessworld
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starsenha · 2 months
Text
COMFORT / N.R
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Pairing ◊ reader x idol!riki
Genre ◊ toe curling fluff, established relationship
Warnings ◊ talk about sickness (yn's mom is sick in this), kinda sad, talk about anxiety and feeling overwhelmed, riki is just the perfect boyfie in this, cuddling
Word count ◊ 3,2k
Summary ◊ You called riki like usual tonight, but he saw there was something wrong. When you started crying during the call, he knew he had to come to see you and be there for you, even if it meant nearly missing his schedule.
a/n: not proofread, enjoy!
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You stared at your phone screen, anxiously waiting for the familiar video call tone to ring. Tonight, the usual excitement and anticipation were replaced by a heavy weight in your chest. College had been overwhelming lately—assignments, exams, and personal issues all seemed to be piling up at once. You didn't want to burden Riki with your problems. His schedule was already packed with rehearsals, recordings, and performances. But despite your best efforts to hide your feelings, Riki always seemed to know when something was off.
The phone rang, and his face appeared on the screen, immediately brightening your dimly lit room. His smile was infectious, and you almost forgot your worries for a moment.
"Hey, baby," Riki greeted, his voice warm and cheerful. "How was your day?"
"Hey," you replied, trying to muster a smile. "It was okay, just the usual college stuff."
Riki's eyes narrowed slightly as he studied your face. "You sure? You look a bit tired."
"I'm fine," you lied, not wanting to worry him. "How was your day?"
Riki's face lit up as he launched into a story about his bandmates. "Oh, you wouldn't believe what happened today! Heeseung hyung was trying to teach Sunoo a new dance move, and he ended up tripping over his own feet. It was hilarious! He blamed it on the slippery floor, but we all know it was just him being clumsy."
You forced a laugh, but it sounded hollow even to your own ears. Riki's expression softened, and he leaned closer to the screen as if he could reach through and hold you.
"Baby, what's wrong?" he asked, his voice gentle. "I know something's up. You can talk to me."
You sighed, feeling the weight of the day's stress pressing down on you. "It's just... everything feels overwhelming right now. College, personal stuff... I don't know. I didn't want to bother you with it."
Riki's eyes filled with concern. "You're never a bother to me, you know that. I care about you, and I want to know when you're feeling down. Tell me what's going on."
You took a deep breath, finally letting the floodgates open. "It's just been really hard lately. I have so many assignments and exams coming up, and I feel like I'm falling behind. And there's this whole thing with my family... it's just a lot to handle,’’ you confessed, feeling the tightness in your chest intensify as you spoke.
Riki's eyes softened with concern. "I'm sorry you're going through all that, baby. Fuck, I wish I could be there to help you."
The tears you had been holding back started to spill over, staining your cheeks. "I just feel like I'm drowning. There's so much pressure from school, and things back at home aren't any better. I don't know what to do, and I feel so alone," you said, your voice cracking.
Seeing you cry broke Riki's heart. He reached out towards the screen as if he could touch you, his eyes filling with worry and helplessness. "Oh, baby, please don't cry," he pleaded. "I hate seeing you like this. I wish I could hold you right now."
You tried to wipe your tears away, but they kept coming. "I'm sorry, Riki. I didn't want to dump all of this on you. You already have so much to deal with."
"Don't apologize," he said firmly. "Your feelings matter to me. You matter to me."
Riki was silent for a moment, his mind racing. Then, with a determined look, he grabbed his jacket and began to gather his things.
"What are you doing?" you asked, sniffling.
"I'm coming to see you," he said simply.
"No, Riki, you can't," you protested. "It's too risky. What if you get caught? You could get in serious trouble. And don’t you have early practice tomorrow morning?’’
"I don't care," he said, his voice resolute. "You're more important to me than any rule or schedule. I can't stand to see you like this and not do anything about it."
"But—"
"No buts," he interrupted gently. "I need to be with you right now. You need me, and I need to be there for you."
You watched as he quietly slipped out of his dorm room, his phone still in hand. Your heart raced with a mix of fear and relief. "Riki, please, you don't have to do this. I'll be okay."
"I want to," he replied, his voice soft but firm. "I need to see you, to hold you. You're everything to me, and I won't let anything stand in the way of that."
The journey seemed to take forever, and you stayed on the call, your tears gradually slowing as you listened to his footsteps and the occasional whispered reassurance. When he finally arrived at your dorm, he gave a gentle knock on your door.
You opened it, and there he was, his face a mix of worry and determination. Without a word, he pulled you into his arms, holding you tightly as if he never wanted to let go.
"I'm here now," he whispered into your hair. "It's gonna be okay. I'm here."
You clung to him, feeling the warmth and comfort of his embrace. "Thank you, Riki. I don't know what I'd do without you.’’ 
"You'll never have to find out," he promised, kissing the top of your head. "We'll get through this together."
For the first time that night and since days, you felt a sense of peace. He was your comfort person, and at that moment, you were so blessed to have him in your life. Riki guided you gently to your bed, where you both sat down. He held your hands, his thumbs gently caressing your knuckles as he looked at you with tender concern.
"Tell me everything," he urged softly. "I'm here now. I want to know what's going on."
You took a deep breath, feeling a lump in your throat. "It's my mom," you began, your voice trembling. "She's been really sick lately. She was diagnosed with a serious illness a few weeks ago, and it's been really hard on my family."
Riki's eyes widened with worry, but he kept his grip on your hands steady. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?" he asked, a hint of frustration in his voice. "I could have been there for you. You shouldn't have had to deal with this alone."
"I didn't want to burden you," you admitted, tears welling up again. "You already have so much on your plate. I didn't want to add to your stress."
Riki shook his head, pulling you closer. "You're never a burden to me, you know that. I care about you so much. You should have told me. I want to help you through this."
You leaned into him, finding comfort in his embrace. "It's not just my mom. My younger brother has been acting out because of everything that's happening. He's been getting into trouble at school, and my dad is always at work trying to pay the medical bills. It's like everything is falling apart."
Riki's arms tightened around you, holding you securely against his chest. "I'm so sorry, baby. I wish I could make everything better for you. But I'm here now, and I'll do whatever I can to support you."
You buried your face in his shoulder, the warmth of his body and the steady beat of his heart grounding you. "Thank you, Riki. Just having you here makes a huge difference."
He pressed a gentle kiss to your temple, his hand running soothingly up and down your back. "You're not alone in this. We'll get through it together. Whenever you need to talk or need a shoulder to cry on, I'm here for you."
You nodded, feeling a mix of relief and gratitude. "It just feels like everything is so overwhelming. I don't know how to handle it all."
"One step at a time," he whispered, his voice calm and reassuring. "We'll take it one step at a time. And remember, it's okay to lean on others. You have me, and I want to help you carry this burden."
You pulled back slightly to look at him, his eyes filled with unwavering support. "I'm so lucky to have you," you said softly.
"And I'm lucky to have you," he replied, his lips curling into a small smile. "Now, let's just take a moment to breathe. We don't have to solve everything tonight. But I'm here, and I won't let go."
He shifted slightly, lying back on the bed and pulling you with him so that you were nestled in his arms. You rested your head on his chest, listening to the comforting rhythm of his heartbeat. Riki held you in his arms for a while, letting you feel his presence and his unwavering support. Then, he gently pulled back and cupped your face in his hands, looking into your eyes with a determined expression.
"Alright, enough sadness for tonight," he said with a small smile. "I know exactly what will cheer you up."
You gave him a curious look as he reached over to grab your laptop from your desk. He opened it and quickly navigated to your favorite streaming website. Within moments, the familiar theme music of "Harry Potter" filled the room.
"Harry Potter?" you asked, a small smile tugging at your lips despite the tears still lingering in your eyes.
"Of course," he replied, his eyes twinkling. "It's your comfort movie, right? Thought it might help distract you for a bit."
You nodded, touched by the fact that he actually remembered. "You remembered."
"I remember everything about you," he said softly, kissing your forehead. "Now, you stay here and get comfortable. I'm going to make us some food."
Before you could protest, he was off the bed and heading towards your small kitchen area. You watched him with a mix of amusement and affection as he rummaged through your cupboards, finally pulling out a couple of packets of instant ramen.
"Don't laugh," he called over his shoulder, grinning. "I know I'm not a great cook, but this is something I can manage."
You chuckled, feeling a bit lighter. "Ramen sounds perfect, 'ki. Thank you."
As he prepared the ramen, you settled back against the pillows, the familiar scenes of "Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone" playing out on your laptop. The comforting music and the sight of Hogwarts brought a sense of nostalgia and peace.
Riki soon returned with two steaming bowls of ramen. He handed one to you, then climbed back onto the bed, sitting cross-legged beside you. "Here you go, freshly made by yours truly."
You took the bowl and inhaled the savory aroma. "It smells great. Thanks."
"Anything for you," he said with a wink, then started eating his own ramen. "So, what's your favorite part of this movie?"
You smiled, feeling more at ease. "Probably when Harry first arrives at Hogwarts. It's so magical and full of wonder."
Riki nodded, slurping his noodles noisily. "Yeah, I get that. It's like stepping into a whole new world."
As the movie played on, Riki continued to chat with you, making funny comments about the characters and the scenes. "Look at Snape. Always looks like he just drank sour milk," he joked, making you giggle.
"And Draco Malfoy," he continued with a dramatic flair. "Always acting like he's the king of the castle. What a drama queen."
You laughed, feeling your spirits lift with each of his playful remarks. "You know, you could give him a run for his money in the drama department," you teased.
"Hey now," he protested with a grin. "I only use my dramatic skills for good, like cheering up my beautiful girlfriend."
Once you finished your bowl –he of course made sure you ate every single bit of the ramen– he set them on the floor next to your bed and settled in bed with you, cuddling you. Before you knew it, you had drifted off, your head resting gently against his shoulder.
Riki noticed your breathing slow and deepen, and he looked down to see you fast asleep, your face relaxed and peaceful. A soft smile spread across his face as he watched you sleep, feeling a swell of affection and love that made his heart ache in the best way possible. You looked so adorable, cuddled up in his arm, and he couldn’t help but think about how lucky he was to have you in his life.
He carefully adjusted his position to make you more comfortable without waking you, his arm securely around you. The movie continued to play, but his attention was entirely on you. Every once in a while, he brushed a strand of hair away from your face, marveling at how serene and beautiful you looked in your sleep.
Suddenly, his phone buzzed in his pocket. He carefully fished it out, making sure not to disturb you. The screen lit up with a message from Jungwon. Oh, he was so fucked. 
[Jungwon hyung] Where are you? You’re not at the dorm. We have practice early tomorrow. 
Riki sighed quietly, knowing that he would likely face some serious scolding tomorrow. He glanced at you, still sleeping peacefully, and felt a surge of protectiveness. None of that mattered right now. What mattered was being here for you.
He replied as quietly as possible, not wanting to risk waking you.
[Riki] I’m with y/n. She needed me. I’ll be back in the morning.
A moment later, his phone buzzed again.
[Jungwon hyung]: You know this isn’t allowed, Riki. We’ll talk about this tomorrow. And I swear if you are late, I’ll beat your ass. 
Riki muttered a soft curse under his breath, his gaze shifting back to you. He turned off his phone and placed it aside, focusing on the feeling of having you close. The warmth of your body against his, the gentle rise and fall of your chest as you breathed—it all made him feel more certain than ever about his feelings for you. He knew he was deeply in love with you, so much so that nothing else seemed to matter.
The night continued, the room filled with the soft glow of the laptop screen and the steady sound of your breathing. Riki watched over you, his heart full, feeling more content than he had in a long time. In that moment, all the pressures and responsibilities faded away, leaving just the two of you, together and safe.
As the credits of the movie rolled, Riki carefully adjusted the blanket over you both, making sure you were warm and comfortable. He placed a gentle kiss on your forehead. With you in his arms, he closed his eyes, savoring the quiet moments of peace.
The room was dark and quiet when Riki's alarm went off, the soft chime barely breaking the stillness. He stirred, groaning softly as he reached to silence his phone. It was really early, the kind of early that made everything feel surreal and dreamlike. He blinked, trying to shake off the sleepiness and remember where he was.
You were still nestled in his arms, your head resting against his chest. Riki carefully untangled himself from you, moving slowly to avoid waking you. He slipped off the bed, grabbing his jacket and shoes as quietly as possible. But despite his best efforts, the slight rustle and movement stirred you awake.
"Riki?" you mumbled sleepily, rubbing your eyes.
He froze, turning to you with an apologetic look. "I'm sorry, baby. I didn't mean to wake you."
You sat up, blinking in the dim light. "What time is it? Where are you going?"
Riki sighed, running a hand through his hair. "It's really early. I have an early practice to get to, and if I'm late, Jungwon will kill me. Well, he's probably going to kill me anyway for not being at the dorm last night."
You frowned, still half-asleep but worried. "Are you going to be okay? I don't want you to get into trouble because of me."
Riki leaned over and kissed your forehead. "Don't worry about me. It was worth it to be here with you. You needed me, and I'd do it again in a heartbeat."
You reached out, grabbing his hand. "I don't want you to get in trouble, though."
"I'll handle it," he assured you, giving your hand a squeeze. "Right now, I need to sneak back to the dorm without getting caught. I just wanted to make sure you were okay before I left."
You nodded, still worried but knowing he had to go. "Thank you for everything, Riki. You really helped me last night."
He smiled, his eyes soft with affection. "I'm glad I could be here for you. Just remember, I'm always just a call away. Anytime you need me."
You watched as he quietly finished getting ready, slipping his shoes on and grabbing his jacket. He moved towards the door, then turned back for a moment, his eyes lingering on you.
"Try to get some more sleep, okay? And take care of yourself today," he said softly.
"I will," you promised. "You take care too. And good luck with practice."
He chuckled quietly. "Thanks. I'll need it."
With one last, lingering look, he slipped out the door, carefully closing it behind him. You lay back down, feeling the warmth he left behind in the bed. Despite the early interruption, you felt comforted by his presence and his words.
Riki moved quickly but quietly through the early morning streets, the city still mostly asleep. Thank god, he thought, he couldn’t run into an engene or anyone right now. He navigated his way back to the dorm, his heart pounding not just from the rush but from the thoughts of you. He knew there would be consequences, but he couldn't bring himself to regret his decision.
As he approached the dorm, he checked the time. He was cutting it close, but he might just make it. He slipped inside, moving as silently as possible, hoping to avoid any early risers.
Just as he thought he was in the clear, he bumped into Jungwon, who was standing in the hallway with his arms crossed, looking none too pleased.
"Riki," Jungwon said, his tone a mix of exasperation and concern. "Do you know what time it is?"
Riki scratched the back of his head, giving Jungwon a sheepish grin. "Yeah, I know. I'm sorry, hyung. I had to take care of something important."
Jungwon sighed, his expression softening a bit. "Look, I understand if it was important, but you need to communicate. We have schedules to keep, and the rest of the team relies on you."
"I know, I know," Riki said, nodding earnestly. "It won't happen again. I promise."
Jungwon gave him a long look, then nodded. "Alright. Get ready for practice. And next time, just let me know what's going on. I hope y/n is okay 
Riki smiled gratefully. "Thanks, Jungwon. I will. And she’s better now."
As he hurried to get ready, Riki couldn't help but think about you, knowing that no matter how much trouble he got into, it was all worth it to be there for you when you needed him most.
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noxtivagus · 2 years
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hdflkjasdklf i'm just thinking of certain characters n stories hehe
#🌙.rambles#no bcs why out of all gbf characters it is Belial that is on my mind lately.. 💀 he's so sus but there's smth sad abt him to me that i think#uh. makes me. feel drawn. SOMEHOW. charas in general that like i don't like them just bcs they're sad. i just Like them n later realize how#similar i am in a way n huh. maybe part of me. perhaps not really relate but i think i understand ^ him with lucilius. but. nyways#sometimes i find myself having ideas from time to time for. scenarios n stories n maybe not super concrete? even just the idea or the#emotion & sentiment of it. even if it's a mess bcs i just dump phrases n words from time to time.#i really like reading my own words. they remind me a lot of myself n resonate a lot with me.. i wrote them all after all before.#😭 ok i just got a notif bcs i have smth due in 24 hours from now.. (-> i ended up venting again but i have no more space to tag it)#there's a lot i'm stressed abt. anxious even. it's not rlly a big deal in the end n eventually the burden of my regrets will hurt less but#noooo i keep on rambling abt that i guess there's rlly just so much weighing me down in my mind But i will persevere!!!!#imagining stuff or wtvr n indulging in. idk any form of self-expression n being creative brings me so much comfort#when the break comes i'll read books i'll write stuff too i'll watch stuff i'll play video games i'll play/listen to music i'll. yeah. Live#like i want. but like success has always still meant a lot to me i'm too strict on myself w that so w school i constantly just feel trapped#even if assignments r easy n i understand all my lessons in general. i'll pass CETs certainly i'll succeed in the future i know that's who#i'll be but every single mistake just tears me apart and makes me forget who i am as a whole. i've always been 'better' in a way than your#average person i've always mostly generally done well & good but never ever quite the 'best'. so while i do love my intelligence n all as#a whole. ffs i know better but i end up being too harsh when it comes to my shortcomings. so. stuff like stories n games n yeah#those allow me to be free in a way. from my own restraints. from my own cage. so to not. be able to do that too rlly makes me forget myself#while w work n personal stuff like that i'm mostly sure of myself but when it comes to. me w ppl in this world. it's so. unpredictable?#that's just how ppl r. it's. intriguing to me definitely but. confusing. i long to belong but it's hard when most of my life i've felt..#i'm not rlly sure how to phrase it. it's in my head but yeah. so.. i'm rlly just a mess w that. i think i tend to isolate n distance myself#so easily bcs i fall far too much w the thought that. nothing much wld change? recently i'm so confused too bcs i'm aware of reality but#then i'm also just so confused n then a mess in general but i'm returning to like my old self when it comes to stories. embracing that agai#understanding myself a bit more while being distant w others but also lost for the very same reason. ITS SO CONFUSING n complex ofc.#which is. v human ig. but i'm not taking care of myself well so ffs it feels like i'm falling behind but i'm technically productive w work?#stuck between remembering. v well. i'm not too brain empty in the present too. n. i've been v keenly aware of the future#it's all going far too fast n i'm not keeping up Well Enough. the helplessness i think i wrote a while back#bcs i want to stop or i want to do smth or just change n get things done but it's not That easy. n it's been like this for so long now#i'll be fine my mind's just a mess rn n i'm just so frustrated w myself but i'm well enough. a bit empty but i'm fine.#there's a lot more to write n i could have done this in my notes but i'll stop anyways i'll work now. i'll try not to stay up Too late 🥹🫶🏼
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