#yoongi one-shot

[haeggi]

while you are dreaming | myg ✓

➔ pairing: visual arts major student!yoongi × culinary arts major student!reader

➔ genre/warnings: road trip!au, camping!au, traveling!au, soulmates!au, best friends to lovers, fluff, angst, slow burn, mutual pining (confused feelings from reader), emotional constipation, anxiety, heavy self-deprecation :(

➔ word count: 14.8k

➔ glimpse: you and yoongi embark on an escapade from the bleak realities of your lives. at some point while you are both dreaming, you both experience a moment of epiphany; that you constantly sought each other's warmth for refuge.

︶︶︶⠀୨♡୧⠀︶︶︶

What does genuine happiness feel like?

Happiness. One word. Nine letters. It's a simple word with a simple meaning. With one glance, it's facile to grasp the definition of the word. Yet, it's a feeling arduous and complicated to achieve.

Throughout your time on earth, you always find yourself racing after it. And with every step you take, desperately trying to reach for it, it seems like it is getting further away from you. Just when you think you've got it, it slips from your fingers no matter how much effort you exert to clutch it.

Instead, you fall and find yourself amidst the ferocious waves, smothering your breaths. The vehement pressure constricts around you like a sea serpent, solicitous to drag you down within the trenches. You desperately try to summon your remaining potency, if you even had any left to spare. Alas, the serpent would daunt you, and you let it get into your head, and you stop resisting.

And whenever you wake up on the soft sand of a random beach, the peaks of rays coat yourself warm as if the previous night didn't torment you with perennial cataclysmic storms. Then, you're left to ponder.

Where am I?

What do I do now?

From then on, you start your day again with spontaneity, because you're faced with a huge murky forest that you had no choice but to enter if you wanted to continue to survive.

But on that particular night, in the midst of the devil hours while you lie down again within the darkness of your melancholic room and wait for the raging storm again to devour you, a beacon of light appears in your line of sight.

You rise from the waters that were beginning to submerge you, and you reach for the light, reluctantly enclosing it with your palm.

With a heavy exhale, you answer the call and press the device against your ear.

His warmth instantly instills in your erratic nerves. His mere soft breaths vibrating from the phone and traveling towards you, makes you calm your own breathing.

"Let's run away."

︶︶︶⠀୨♡୧⠀︶︶︶

The sun is still resting beneath the clouds, and it is blanketed by the grayness of the sky. Your eyes trail after the buildings that you pass by until they are replaced by trees, stilling your breaths until you slowly let the slumber succumb you.

You don't know for how long you're gone, but you feel your consciousness gradually seeping through your system. You notice that the shuddering of the vehicle is miniscule unlike before you went to sleep. It's steady and motionless, and you realize it's the reason why you woke up. Because it wasn't lulling you to sleep anymore.

Stretching your limbs, you release a soft yawn before you fully open your eyes. You are greeted by the cerulean sky, cotton clouds patching it. You let your gaze wander to your right, and you see the sunlight's glow warming your skin adequately.

Finally, you shift your gaze to your left where you are welcomed by his soothing presence. His amiable hazel feline eyes are locked with your round mouse ones. His soft wavy ginger locks is accentuated by the sun's gleam. His hair color contrasts the paleness of his unblemished skin. And finally, his soft pink lips that is curved upward, his charming smile infectious that you can't help but reciprocate it.

The strum of baritone strings fills your ears. "Good morning," Yoongi greets.

"Morning," you mumble back. His kind smile reaches his eyes and you watch him as he reaches for something at the backseat of the pick up truck.

He hands you the paper bag with takeout, and the aroma of hamburgers fills your nostrils. You give him one of the burgers and you both start to eat in silence.

"Where do you wanna go?" Yoongi asks with a mouthful of burger in his mouth.

You blink at his question, mildly confused before you say, "I thought you had a plan in your mind."

He snickers at you, a coy smile painting his lips. "No, you dummy." He pinches your cheek to which you protest, swatting his teasing hand away. "It's not a road trip if we have an itinerary."

You scowl, caressing your cheek that is still puffed because of the burger in your mouth. "Then, why are you asking me where do I want to go? Just keep driving until we see something that piques our interest."

Yoongi hums thoughtfully, tapping the wheel with one hand. "Alright then. But first, we have to make a stop for a gasoline station. We're about to run out. Perhaps, grab a few stuffs from the convenience store too."

You nod your head in acknowledgement. "That works with me." A sudden realization comes into your mind so you abruptly shift in your seat, turning your body to face Yoongi, placing your hand on his arm.

"Wait, how long will this trip be?"

He blinks at you and ponders before coming up with the notion, "Maybe a week?"

A loud gasp escapes your lips. "I only packed enough that would last me for three days!"

Tsking, Yoongi leans towards you and your brows crease in confusion at his action. Realizing that he was reaching for the compartment, you incline back on your seat. With watchful eyes, you follow his every movement as he grunts softly, having a bit difficult time rummaging inside the small space.

"Aha," he finally exclaims, taking his arm out. In his hold is a leather wallet. He smirks at you, lifting the item in front of you.

He tilts his head and declares, "We're going shopping then."

︶︶︶⠀୨♡୧⠀︶︶︶

Your limbs start to feel too heavy to merely lift as Yoongi continuously pulls you around the clothing store. He keeps taking shirts, pants, and shorts from the clothesline and settling them in front of your body. He would either hum in countenance and shove the apparel in the basket, or shake his head disapprovingly and return the garment to its rightful place.

Nonetheless, you let him drag you around as he pleases because you can't deny that you're starting to get fond of his attention and dedication into picking out the best outfits for you.

But you can't help but wonder loudly, "Does your course teach you fashion too?"

Yoongi doesn't look at you. He holds an over-sized shirt in front of you while answering, "Nope," he pops the p. "But, everyone who takes the course is very meticulous when it comes to their fashion styles."

You hum in understanding, "I see, you were influenced."

He nods, giving you a soft smile. Then, he finally takes the last article, which is a knitted sweater dress, hands you the basket of clothes and pushes you towards the direction of the fitting room.

"Since we're shopping, might as well buy the best ones we can find for you," he states cheekily.

It was impossible to not giggle at Yoongi's merry mood. And who were you to even deny him?

You tried out everything he gave you and you can't help but feel amazed that every piece of apparel you wore suited you. You're awestruck by your best friend's fashion sense. After trying all of them, you step out of the fitting room and you see Yoongi ambling around the store, humming a meaningless tune to himself.

When his eyes land on you, the giddy smile returns to coat his features, and you almost feel yourself melting into a puddle when he skips towards you and asks for your decision.

The gums in his mouth started to appear the moment you told him that you were happy with his choices. The sight of his gummy smile causes you to return one to him.

After a short quarrel about who has to pay, you finally let him to your dismay. But not after making him promise that it will be you who pays the next time you both eat.

As you exit the store, with two paper bags in your hand, you feel Yoongi's fingers interlacing with yours and you shoot a look at him. He seems oblivious of the unfathomable feeling swirling inside you.

Holding hands with him had been awhile, but even in your previous hangouts, this has been a routine with the both of you already. So, you wonder why a certain organ in your chest stopped beating for a second, and resumed to its usual pulsation as if nothing ever occurred.

He pulls you out of your daze through asking, "Where do you want to go next?"

︶︶︶⠀୨♡୧⠀︶︶︶

Minutes later, you both find yourselves hitting the road while you both belt out every lyric of Getaway Car. Mostly, it was Yoongi who handled the high notes, while you guffaw at him every time his voice ebbs gradually.

The succeeding songs that follow coops you to sway along the beats while Yoongi passionately sings every syllable of each song. You aren't surprised because after all, it was his playlist. Albeit you didn't know most of them, you were still able to lilt alongside, because his exuberance is contagious.

Every now and then he would let one of his hands release the wheel, walloping the air rhythmically. You requite the jubilant smiles he gives you every time your gazes collide.

You don't know for how long you've jammed with the radio but once a gasoline station appears in your vicinities, the energy eventually simmers and you both take your time to calm your breaths.

Yoongi skids the car to a halt and instructs the crew, while you unbuckle your seatbelt.

"I'll head for the convenience store now," you say, departing the vehicle.

Once you receive his nod of acknowledgement, you barrel towards the store with giddy steps, the glass doors instantly sliding open. You grab a basket and start snatching and shoving all necessities in it.

You approach the cashier after evaluating that you've gotten everything. As you drop the basket on the cashier, a hand sneaks its way up below your arm then swiftly shoots something into the basket.

"Lollipops? What are we, five, Yoongi?" You pivot around to face the culprit, who already has a sucker in his mouth.

He takes it out and goads you, "Oops, this one's been opened now. You have no choice but to pay for the pack."

To say that you're riled up is a lie because you're incapable of resisting to shake your head fondly and titter at his juvenile actions. You swiftly pay for the delicatessen and essentials before vamoosing the store to resume your way on the road.

This time, it's you who goes behind the wheel. Without a particular destination in mind, you let yourself listen to your instincts; to continue following the path that leads to the unknown.

Unlike the zestful playlist earlier, Yoongi put on a mellow playlist, inundating the ambience between you in snug silence. In your peripheral, you see the cadence taps of his fingers on his thighs while his eyes rove over the passing greenery.

You fracture the silence, experimentally proposing, "Move your hand away."

Yoongi gives you an inquisitive look before he espouses, leaning away from the car door. Then, you press a button and both of your windows roll down. You turn off the cooling system then turn the rotary button above the rear mirror to unbar the sunroof.

"Better?" you query with a soft smile.

"Anything is better," Yoongi admits. "But I can't hear the song now," he adds jokingly.

You giggle, clicking your tongue to which he regards you with a jest expression. "That means you should turn it up, Yoongs."

He finally discerns your message and switches up the mood of the radio. Once again, you're both lost in the ocean of your reveries, with Yoongi congruously leading the small concert session you're having.

You couldn't control the hysterics you're erupting whenever he exaggerates a certain lyric, even attempting to mimic the sounds of instruments. And if those didn't make you reach the peak of your convulsions, the strumming of his fingers on an imaginary guitar and the slapping of his hands on his knees to impersonate a drummer undoubtedly did the trick.

You both don't know for how long you were immersed in your plenary but you finally catch a glimpse of a small hut appearing in your line of sight. You slow down the car and notify, "I caught something on our radar."

Yoongi follows your gaze and accords, "Let's take a stop there."

He initiates to close the windows and sunroof while you focus on parking the truck on a muddy spot, leaving the cement road you were more accustomed to. Then, you both exit the vehicle. Before moving on, he takes both of your backpacks from the cargo bed. The sounds of engine and whirring wind are immediately replaced by the sounds of nature; croaking frogs, clucking chickens, chirping squirrels, tweeting birds, buzzing bees, and more.

Yoongi walks ahead, making a beeline for the hut. You both tramp on soil before finally stepping on the familiar material of wood. The place is almost a ramshackle but you can tell that its built is stalwart and probably withstood a lot of storms already so you didn't doubt that the hut will not collapse on you. Your eyes wander on the ceiling fan, stirring soft winds towards your face, then on the bamboo-made benches on either end of the hut. Yoongi ambles to the center where you finally take notice of the long wooden desk. You realize that the hut is a reception area.

Trailing behind his steps, Yoongi props an arm on the desk and begins to inquire the receptionist.

Your focus on their exchange falters as you survey your surroundings more, even squinting your eyes to try and make out what was beyond the forest. You hear words and sentences along the lines of one night, camping, waterfalls, and other accommodations.

You disconnect from your trance when you feel the softness of a palm land on the small of your back.

"Let's go?" Yoongi asks you with a soft smile when your eyes meet, and you merely nod.

The two of you leave the reception area and approach a trail of cobblestone stairs with moss serving as fleece of the steps. "So, what did the receptionist say?"

"I booked us a cabin for tonight," he informs, lifting a key fob for you to see. "She said there's kayaking on the river. And we have the option to hike to the waterfalls and dive first before doing so."

You hum in response and the conversation quiesces. He lets you walk ahead of him so that when you slip, he would be there to catch you. Occasionally, he would break the silence to alert you of accumulated moss on the steps and tell you to avoid them because they're slippery.

Once you finally reach a flat ground after trekking, you groan in fatigue, bending down to massage your knees while Yoongi situates himself beside you, looking down at you with amusement tinkling his eyes.

"Tired already?" he teases. "We're not even halfway through the day. Come on, slowpoke. We have a waterfall left to hike up."

You whine, punching him lightly on the shoulder. "Can you just do it alone instead? I can just take a video of you from below while you flail in the air like a fish."

He shots you a jokingly offended look. "Rude," he says.

"You started it!" you protest, crossing your arms and stomping your foot.

He chuckles, finding your little tantrum adorable. So, he pulls you to his side, wrapping his arm around your shoulder while you continue to spew strings of curses at him.

Nevertheless, he doesn't let you go. He banters with you, and urges you to keep on walking.

︶︶︶⠀୨♡୧⠀︶︶︶

As soon as you and Yoongi checked into the cabin, and dressed into your swimming garments, you both barge outside the place deliriously and challenge each other on whoever reaches the river first.

You aren't keen on the idea at first because Yoongi has the favorable position of having better stamina than you do. But your smaller physique gave you the advantage of feasibly winning.

In fits of mirths, you relent yourselves into the adrenaline rush, excitement, and zealous passion to obtain triumph at the end of your friendly race.

After Yoongi counts down, you dash towards the cobblestones, and you can hear the vigorous footsteps of your friend trailing behind you. Both of your irregular breaths and unceasing giggles resonate through the forest, urging the both of you to speed up even more.

All throughout the race, you never looked back, casting all of your attention ahead of you to make sure that you also didn't slip because you might end up becoming a loafer if you get injured.

Eventually, your feet lands on a flat ground and the sound of your uneven breaths is drowned with the sudden sound of splashing water nearby. You look ahead of you, seeing the crystalline water reflecting the light of the sun towards you.

It blinds you for a moment then suddenly, a realization dawns on you. You pivot around and your eyebrows crease when you didn't see Yoongi.

He was just right behind me earlier.

As your eyes rove to look for a specific male with ginger hair, you don't detect the footsteps tiptoeing behind you. A yelp escapes your lips when you're lifted off the ground. You catch a glimpse of marmalade, confirming your intuition that it was no other than Yoongi who briefly took your ability to walk by yourself.

His gaiety rings in your ears as he carries you towards the direction of the river. You finally realize what he's about to do so you start wriggling in his hold, eyes enlarging.

"Oh, no, no, no! Yoongi! Don't you dare!"

Your warnings only intensify his scheme and the sight of the raging waters magnifies in your sight. You shut your eyes and brace yourself for the impact, and Yoongi throws you into the waves.

Your whole body submerges underneath, the air promptly unplugged. It reminds you of the sleepless nights in the suffocation of your own room. The nightmares of your failures replaying beyond your subconsciousness like a broken vinyl that's maladaptive.

You flounder beneath the waves before you finally found the momentum to swim above the surface.

When you open your eyes and gasp for air, the horrifying panoramas instantly subside. But that isn't what completely makes your ponderous heart repose. Because what greets you abovewater is the elated smiles of Yoongi, who you found swimming along with you in the spates of waves. His smile is as bright as his locks. And unlike you, he seems to be much more relaxed, as if he was very used to going along the course.

His touch is electrifying when his hands slither around your waist, hoisting you so that you wouldn't drown. Apparently, you were stunned and lost the ability to float yourself. Nonetheless, he still embraces you while you wrap your arms around his neck. You both follow the flow of the river.

It goes like that for a few seconds, and the seconds last ephemeral much to your dismay. As quick as the river flows, his warmth leaves you, causing you to feel a sudden void in your chest at the disconnection.

He swims towards the side, with you following suit, and hoists himself to sit on the grass before helping you to escape the ferocious waters.

You plop beside him, exhaust breaths leaving your lips. And once you've regained the regular pulsing of your heart, you punch Yoongi's shoulder. He yips, caressing his shoulder.

"Why'd you do that?" he bemoans, still stroking his skin that was starting to turn the darker shade of his hair.

"Because you threw me in the water!" You didn't mean to seethe, but your words came out that way so Yoongi actually pays attention to you this time, his pained expression swiftly morphing into genuine concern.

"Hey, are you mad? I'm sorry, I thought you would be up for it—"

"No!" you quickly stop him. "It's not that— fuck, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to sound mean..." you peter off, sighing deeply.

"Are you okay?" Yoongi asks. His hand rests on your bare knee, and the mere action extinguishes your anxiety. His soothing touch lulls you into tranquility.

"Yeah, I am," you let out, and don't say more.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he prods you that manages to emit you the smallest of smiles.

You're touched by his gentleness. You turn your head to face him, your breath hitching momentarily once your round eyes collided with his feline ones. The ebullient expressions he had earlier are now gone. Worry creases his forehead instead and you resist the temptation to kiss it away at that moment, so you opt to look at his nose instead.

"Honestly, Yoongi," you begin. "The reason why I agreed so quickly to you when you told me to get ready because we're going on a trip is because I needed to take a break from life."

He hums, his focus solely on your face that it was making you feel exposed. You feel the shades of carnations coating your cheeks so you continue to speak in hopes of distracting yourself.

"It's nothing that serious, really," you half-lie. "I guess... I just remembered some of my blockmates who kept on freeloading. I caught all of the stress because, well, who would do the work if not me?"

You start to fidget with your fingers underneath the piercing gaze of your friend.

Yoongi sighs and you become aware of his hand on your knee which was drawing small circles. It left you a trail of goosebumps in your skin but you were glad that you had a convenient excuse to say if he notices.

"I'm sorry if I wasn't there for you in the times you were struggling."

Your head cranes up to look at him, eyes widening. His guilty gaze meets your appalled ones and you feel a painful tug in your chest.

"I swear, Yoongi," you reassure him. "It's nothing too deep. And it's not your fault. You didn't know."

"Still, I am sorry," he insists. "Because you remembered them because of me."

You quiver slightly because you interpreted his words differently. He still doesn't know about the real turmoil you're fighting inside. Now, your own guilt is gnawing at you because you just ruined the mood of the vacation. You two are supposed to be having fun and yet here you were, sulking because you couldn't keep your shit together. Because you're a drama queen who hyperbolizes everything.

Even you can't comprehend yourself.

You plant your face in your palms. "I'm sorry, Yoongi. I ruined the mood. We're supposed to be enjoying this getaway."

He pulls your hands off of your face and places his finger under your chin to lift it up. "Hey, don't blame yourself. It's okay. You know, whatever we do in this trip— cry, thrash, or laugh, I'll still cherish every moment of it because it's with you."

You swear you saw something different gleam behind his irises, but in a blink of an eye, it vanishes and you're left to mull on whether you were imagining things or not. However, your own heartstrings strummed as well, giving you no time to dwell anymore.

"Do you still wanna jump off the waterfall?" he asks you, halting your trance. "Maybe you'll feel better after doing so. You can leave all the negative emotions on top of the fall before diving."

"How can you make waterfall-diving sound so enticing?"

Your genuine question breaks the tension between you two and your nose scrunches in confusion when Yoongi chortles, shaking his head. He stands up, dusting the dirt from his soaked clothes before offering you his hand.

You enclose your fingers around his palm, relishing the warmth he instantly transfers from him to you.

Hand in hand, you both trek for the waterfall.

︶︶︶⠀୨♡୧⠀︶︶︶

Having an immense trust for Yoongi, you never doubt his advice that after free diving, your visceral will ameliorate. And it did the trick. Your worries that had been pummeling you hands you mercy, and you clamp your hand around it, even just for a moment.

By the time you both retire for the night in your cabin, the sun had done the same. The sky is smeared with ebony and grape tints. Wraiths in the form of moonlight whisper sweet dreams to the blanketed sun, wistfully wishing that the next morning will be lenient to you.

You volunteer to concoct dinner since it was your specialty and Yoongi is beyond ecstactic that he will finally get to have a taste of your "masterpiece" after awhile (as he claims) to which you only bashfully chuckle at.

As you start to gather the ingredients from earlier's mini grocery shopping, you hear Yoongi meandering around the small living room. Then, he stops and watches you for a few minutes with propped arms on the counter until he finally decides to take a quick shower and attempt to have a power nap.

When his presence leaves you all alone to your thoughts, you suddenly feel apprehensive about doing all this. But it was too late to back out now and it's only fair for your friend that it should be you who prepares your meal because it's where you're supposed to be good at. Shuddering lightly, you hope that it's because of the sudden blow of the night chilly air that nips at your skin and not because of another reason.

The knife in your hold shakes and you struggle to press it down on a bulb of garlic. You latch your wrist with your other free hand, hoping you will stop quivering. You clamp your eyes shut, placing the knife down on the cutting board as you try to regain your senses.

What's happening to you? Why are you so worried? It's only Yoongi.

Your eyes shoot open. Gradually, the ruthless poison ivy choking you relents, allowing you to breathe in through your nose and exhale through your mouth.

That's right. It's just Yoongi. And you have nothing to worry about with him.

You retrieve your strength and you finally proceed to make a meal without any intrusion. After what felt like hours, you're finally placing the two seasoned salmons in the oven. You squat in front of the appliance for awhile, puffing out small breaths because only then did your body registers your exhausted state.

Your hunched form causes your muscle fatigue, so you had to stand up right away to your dismay. You waddle towards the other side of the kitchen as you wait for the salmon to cook, and you start to clean up your station.

The stray strands of your hair keep falling on your face and every now and then, you had to throw your head back to get them out of the way. It becomes frustrating as each second passed by. As you drop the utensils on the sink, a few locks block your sight again. Huffing in annoyance, you were about to swat it away again when two hands appear in front of you out of nowhere.

They gather your strayed locks and nudge them into the back of your head. That's when you unexpectedly feel the presence of another warm body standing behind you. His soft breaths caress your cheek as he tilted his head slightly to check if he hadn't left any strand.

You still as Yoongi smoothly ties your hair, cheeks reddening at his initiative. You wonder how long had he been there witnessing your little distress. And the thought that he had been watching you let out whispers of profanities at the simple problem spurs your cheeks to warm further along with the peculiar feeling in your chest.

He pats your head fondly and you blink, turning your head to face him. Yoongi remains in his stance at your back, a soft smile painting his chapped lips. He tucks baby strands of your hair behind your ear and you suddenly wonder why you're incapable of speech.

Fortunately, he finally speaks, unconsciously intervening with the burgeoning typhoon in your heart that is still inexplicable to you.

"What's for dinner?"

"Salmon," is your implied verbose response yet he stays where he is, tipping his head as a way to prod you to elaborate. "Butter-baked salmon," you finally say.

He furrows his eyebrows in befuddlement. "You don't have a real name for it?"

"Huh?" you dumbly express.

With a cheeky grin, he playfully flicks your forehead. Your hand instinctively flats against it, stroking the skin. "What was that for?!" you squawk.

"You're just so out of it! Had it been awhile since you last cooked?" he pokes.

"It's been a week!" you confirm. "Semestral break, remember? And even so, that doesn't mean my cooking skills did decline!"

Your annoyed state comes across as whines to Yoongi and he couldn't resist pinching your cheeks for the second time that day. With your still stained hands, you couldn't retaliate so you stomp your feet and he finally surrenders. But not without giving you a last poke at your side.

"I swear, I'll give you the smaller piece!" you threaten.

Yoongi exaggeratingly gasps and wheedles you to forgive him. At his attempts, you playfully shake your head but when he offers to do the dishes that night, you finally yield.

And for the rest of the night which felt the longest one to you in awhile, instead of the poison ivy you've become desensitized to, you feel marigold flourishing in your heart instead.

They wrap around you in a manner that doesn't exhilarate you. It doesn't feel monotonous either. It's the perfect amount of ataraxy. You don't know if it's because of the meal you've prepared that tasted more than its usual savory, or if it's because of the serene ambience enveloping you.

Or, if it's because of the presence of the reassuring person sitting across you, the quintessence of solace of his words and stories that come across to you as poems and symphonies.

Your smile feels natural the moment you curve your lips upward when he tells you jokes. You feel at ease in expressing your astonishment or enthusiasm whenever he tells you a few of his anecdotes.

For once in awhile, you don't feel the dread of the night.

Because Min Yoongi is the beacon that lights your path that night in the infinite sea.

︶︶︶⠀୨♡୧⠀︶︶︶

The next day, with the sun at its summit, you're both back on the road. You both relish the congenial silence that envelopes the two of you, mellow tunes complementing the atmosphere.

After a few more kilometers, the air feels different. It's breezy, refreshing. And the roots of tall trees morph into beige grains. Opaque vicinities turning transparent as trunks slim and grow, then you can finally have a glimpse of blue waves crashing against the shore, the horizon becoming more evident to you.

"Wanna take a detour?"

Yoongi's suggestion is what breaks the long silence between you. He acknowledges your nod and minutes later you both find yourselves sitting on sand, sharing two boxes of fruit juice. The seagulls' squawks serves as your background noise for awhile before you suddenly blurt out a question before your brain even internalizes it.

"Are you happy?"

You feel Yoongi's gaze burning on your side profile. "Where's this coming from?"

"Nothing. I'm just curious, is all." You shrug nonchalantly, sipping on your juice.

Candidly, it is not the whole truth, because you're genuinely curious about Yoongi's well-being and current mental state. In the back of your mind, you wonder if he's also going through the same sufferings as you. Deep inside, you wonder if the cheerful attitude he's showing you is a facade, masking his true feelings.

You ponder if he sought you the way you sought him. Trepidation crawls over your skin because you're worried that maybe, you're not the suitable person to be with him at this moment. That maybe, you had been doing something wrong. It's vexatious that you can't help but think this way because you were, unfortunately, a veteran overthinker.

His voice fills your ears. "Well… if you're referring to right now, I can say that I am happy."

You furrow your eyebrows, scrutinizing the meaning behind his words. He might be hinting to you that he's going through something but when you glance over him, you don't see any indication of it. Come to think of it, he never told you why he wanted to "run away" with you in the first place. You were so fervid to escape your own shadows that you forgot to even ask what was Yoongi feeling.

Guilt gnaws you, nibbling your lip that draws rivulets of scarlet. You lick it away, the metallic taste soothing you momentarily.

You tread, gauging for his reaction inconspicuously. "When was the last time you felt sad?"

He takes a sip of his own juice then proceeds to look at the nutrition facts, as if they were the most interesting things at that moment.

"Just recently, when I had this project. We had to draw our own living rooms."

"That doesn't seem so bad. You're good at drawing. What happened?"

Yoongi meets your gaze, chuckling in a tone that you can't decipher whether it had a bitterness in it. "Well, I don't think I've mentioned this to you before but I'm extremely terrible in capturing depths and perspectives, and instilling them on my drawings."

"I didn't know you touched architecture too," is what you simply say. It's a safe response in case Yoongi doesn't feel comfortable to open up to you, but sufficient to also let him know that he can confide to you.

"Me neither." He licks his lips, an unreadable expression etched across his features. "Never expected it. That's why I was so stressed all throughout the process of it. I barely made the passing score, but don't worry. After a few days, I got over it."

Something tells your gut that he's convincing himself more than he's reassuring you. You decide to grant him a brief silence, basking the sea breeze kissing your cheeks softly.

"How do you feel about it now?" you bravely ask, keeping your eyes ahead.

It took him a few seconds before he finally answers, "I'm not dwelling on it that much as before now. And I think I should focus on doing my best at the field I'm good at, impressionism."

You hum, mulling over his response. Somehow, you feel the need and want to assure him.

"You're doing great, Yoongi. You worked hard for every grade you got. It's just that everyone has different standards."

Hypocrite.

You ignore the cruel voice in your head.

"Thank you, Y/N." You don't see his face but you can imagine the way his eyes light up at your words, his signature gummy smile painting his lips.

"Why are you curious all of a sudden though?"

His question catches you off-guard because he had already asked it before. You know that you're being a hypocrite because you can't divulge like he just did. You know it's unfair for him, but with how stubborn you are, you just can't allow yourself to open up your feelings because you can't forgive yourself.

You can't forgive yourself when you fail yourself. When you fail others. When you repeat the same mistakes. When you weren't there for the people who needed you during their shortcomings, because you're busy wallowing yourself in self-pity — even doing that makes you feel shit. When you do nothing to solve about your problems. When you run away instead. When you're happy. When you're sad.

So, of course, you push everything away. Because the one thing you allow yourself to do, is to give yourself a hard time. Because you think it's what you deserve.

So, of course, you dodge the question again.

"It's nothing, really. We weren't able to talk that much whenever we're busy with university, so I just wanted to catch up with you." You hope the smile that you return to him doesn't look forced because you can't afford another screw up.

The gut-wrenching swell on your chest further heightens, and you force yourself to swallow it.

"That's thoughtful of you. But, are you sure? You don't need to tell me anything?" He scoots closer towards you, his arm brushing against yours.

To say you're bewildered is an understatement. Because in that mere, small occurrence — at that featherlight action, Yoongi had once again manage to annihilate your asphyxiation, and you can finally breathe properly again.

"I really am okay, Yoongi. Don't worry about me."

Another half-lie and half-truth. You encage yourself in the prison walls you built yourself. But for some unfathomable reason, you have incognizantly constructed a door — a door so minuscule, and Yoongi had the key to it.

He unlocks the door and opens it, walking into the crevasses of your heart.

"I hope your words match your feelings. Please know that whenever you want to tell me anything, literally anything, I assure you that I'll listen."

This time, your smile reaches your eyes. "Thank you, Yoongi."

Whenever I'm ready. Alright.

You don't know when you'll ever be ready. But looking at Yoongi, you don't want to ever see him crestfallen. Therefore, the odds of not ever being ready was higher.

You don't want to drag him down along with you. Because the last thing that you ever desired is to see him in agony.

You want to protect your safe haven. Protect him from danger. Protect him from yourself.

︶︶︶⠀୨♡୧⠀︶︶︶

What you both planned to be a detour turns out to be the place you'll be spending your whole day at. The calm waves of clear waters on white sands, and the sapphire sky with white streaks made you two like fishes, successfully baited to stay.

Yoongi's busy setting up your tent while you sit quietly on one of your folding chairs, spectating your best friend's struggle. He would emit small irritated grunts every now and then, and mutter incoherent words to himself. Your lips would twitch into a smile whenever he unintentionally puckers his bottom lip or suck the air between his teeth.

You just sit there for awhile, admiring his presence before you finally decide to leave the comfort of your chair, ambling towards the still struggling Yoongi.

"Need help?" you quip, hands pocketed in your loose sports shorts.

From his squat position, Yoongi looks up to you, squinting his eyes because of the sunlight imparing his vision temporarily. His pout becomes more salient, emitting a giggle from you when he grumbles, "So nice of you to finally join me."

"Hey, I'm sorry, alright!" You bite your lip in attempt to halt your giggles. "I just thought you had everything under control like you said earlier."

Yoongi droops his eyes then leaves his position, now towering over your smaller form. The sudden swing of confidence from a few seconds ago instantly dwindles now that he's standing a head taller over you. Nonetheless, you cross your arms, hoping that the sassy action will mask your sudden nervousness.

What a weird feeling. You think to yourself.

"Oh yeah?" he lazily voices, taking a bold step closer to you, diminishing the distance between your warm bodies in an alarming amount.

Your feet stay planted on the ground and you wonder why you don't move an inch away from him.

He whispers balefully, "You wanna see how I have things under my control?"

You stare up at him with curious doe eyes. And then, his ominous gaze shifts into fright. His eyes leave yours and trails down before he unexpectedly shrieks, "There's a crab! It's going to snap your toes!"

You vociferate a shrill ear-splitting scream, resonating throughout the broad beach. Jumping and bounding into Yoongi, you shrink against his chest, both of your feet gliding against the mounds of sands. Deep laughter rumbles from his pectus but quickly disrupts as you both gravitate towards the ground. Yoongi falls on his back with a yelp while you follow, landing on top of him.

He grunts below you, his hands falling on both sides of your waist.

You don't realize the position you're both in for you keep clutching on his knitted cardigan, crawling above him in terror, hoping to escape the crab.

But when you look ahead your feet, you see nothing but sand. That doesn't derail your palpitating heart. Your eyes mimic that of a vagabond, desperately trying to look for the snappy creature because frankly, not seeing the enemy is a ton worse than seeing it.

Alas, you don't see the creature and you halt your panicky state, the realization finally dawning on you.

There wasn't any crab in the first place.

Yoongi only bluffed. And now, you find yourself in a strange, nerve-wracking situation.

When you muster the courage to look up at him, he's already staring, mirth and mischief glimmering from his irises. Your heartrate pounds against your chest, and you desperately wish that the clothes serving as the only barricades between you two are doing their best in concealing your palpitations.

His heavy-lidded eyes are locked with yours, freezing you in your place. The galaxy in his eyes are absorbing you further to get lost in his gaze like a blackhole slowly but surely swirling around you. You can see a lot of stories hidden within the depths of his pupils but they're out of your reach because of their nebulosity.

It doesn't feel real to you when he nudges his face closer toward yours, decreasing the gap between your faces until—

CAW!

You scramble to your feet in surprise, looking up to see a crow flying in circles around the two of you. Meanwhile, Yoongi groans, still flat against the sand. You shoot a glare at him, grabbing a fistful of sand and pummeling it towards him. The grains hit his face and he coughs and sneezes, earning a giggle from you.

"Not the face!" he exclaims, rising to his own feet, stumbling in the process. He glowers at you while you only blow a raspberry at him.

"You seem giddy now." He cackles, dusting the sand off of his outfit. "You should've seen your face— you were so frightened, it's so hilarious!"

You smack the back of his head and he yips, leaping away from your reach.

"Not a word, Yoongi!" you squall. "Why would you lie about a crab that was about to snip my feet?!"

"You started it!" he protests, flailing his arms. You attempt to swing a kick at him but he expertly dodges it, grabbing the opportunity to pull your arm and flush you against his chest.

The familiar and odd feeling of your heart hammering against your ribcage returns. But Yoongi seems oblivious to your (once again) frozen state as he ruffles your hair playfully.

You squirm in his hold and when he finally releases you, you regain the usual pulsation of your heartbeat. You're starting to consider consulting a doctor after the getaway because you've been having these heart palpitations for awhile now.

Yoongi leaves you with your thoughts, hollering ahead of you, "We better set the tent quicker! The sun's about to descend."

︶︶︶⠀୨♡୧⠀︶︶︶

Two hours later, the tent is standing robustly on the sand and the firewood is crackling flames. It's your second night of the trip. Comfortable silence accompanies your sunset-gazing, watching the sun gradually disappear below the horizon until the sky is left with plum and indigo pigment streaks.

Yoongi clears his throat that pulls you out of your reverie, shifting your attention to him. He's toasting your marshmallow on a stick.

The flames complement his hair color, making him resemble an angel. He's glowing underneath the obsidian sky, his ethereal features more prominent.

He's so pretty.

"A penny for your thoughts?" His breathy and husky voice ushers you to look at his face, and you feel your cheeks warm, as if you were a deer caught on headlights.

"Why'd you choose red-orange?"

It's truly a part of what you've been thinking about, but you also didn't want Yoongi to think that you were a creep for staring at him for so long.

"Why? Does it look weirder the more you look at it?" He hands your marshmallow, the top slightly burnt then skims his fingers along his ginger locks.

You munch on the soft mallow while murmuring your response, "Oh, no. I'm just wondering 'cause the last time I saw you, it was a darker shade."

Yoongi hums thoughtfully, leaning back against the folding chair with both of his hands raising to rest behind his head. He presses his lips into a thin line, mirroring a certain keyboard symbol.

"Do you want the short and simple version or the long and in-depth one?" he finally says.

You scoff lightly, bemused at his question. Your reaction causes him to chuckle, ushering you to pick one already.

"Both," you decide.

"Oh, you're really not letting me get away from this, huh." He raises an amused eyebrow at you, smile never leaving his lips as he bites on his own marshmallow.

"Yeah, well, I'm really curious, okay! Now, shoot your story." You beckon, spreading your arms sassily.

"Okay." He chortles at the action before shifting his expression to a serious one.

"Well, I personally don't like how orange looks next to my skin. While red, is too strong. It makes me look like a devil."

You muse, "But red-orange doesn't seem too far from both colors."

"Yeah, I know. But for me, the shade made a big difference."

"That's some deep shit right there."

Your comment makes him scoff, while you give him a brazen smirk. Truthfully, what he said seemed like a quote to you. It reminds you that the smallest things really did have the biggest impacts sometimes.

It makes you wonder if Yoongi saw you that way. If you're one of the small parts of his life that contributes greatly to his overall well-being and continuous personality and attitude development. Or perhaps if you belonged in a bigger scale, a very significant person in his life.

Just like how he is that person to you.

"Okay, but really, why that color?" you finally ask for the deeper explanation.

He doesn't answer you immediately and you think that maybe he's trying to formulate a comprehensible explanation.

Then, he finally replies, "I guess it's because the two colors evoke some sort of emotions from me." He licks his lips and you heed that his gaze started to wander everywhere, a little habit of his that you've noticed that he does whenever he's nervous.

"I don't know if it makes any sense, maybe it's a visual arts student thing, but red reminds me a lot about my passion for art, you know. But I still didn't go for that solid color because like I said earlier, people might perceive me as a delinquent."

He pauses and lets out a laugh that is neither bitter nor sweet, so you can't tell what exactly he felt at telling you the last sentence.

He continues, "Anyways, while orange... it's a product of red and yellow. Aside from passion, red may mean hostility or anger, and such vehement emotions, while yellow is the opposite. It's optimistic, upbeat, hopeful. And they balance each other, don't you think?"

He stops again to gaze at you, eyes finally steady and you're aware that he had become less uptight, his words seemingly flowing seamlessly.

His last words are what makes you truly awestruck. Because they strucked a certain chord in your heartstrings that had it swelling. It's painful, raw, and consoling all at the same time.

"Because they have something in common. Warmth and comfort."

The silence that blankets the both of you is homely. His words process in your mind, the gears turning in your brain while he only stares at you, patiently waiting for your response.

Truth behold, you were rendered speechless. And you couldn't equal his lyrical interpretation so all you say is,

"I never imagined that you had such profound outlook on colors."

He nods in agreement, sending you a soft smile that quilts your heart with warmth.

"Me neither, I mean at first, of course. But the more I studied art, the more I fell in love with it," he explains, his feline eyes sparkling and you could see how feverish he is with his passion.

"It keeps me... level-headed too, if you know what I mean. Sometimes, life throws shit at you and you have to find that one thing that keeps you in the surface. For my case, it's art."

He ends it there, the denouement so clear yet so ambiguous at the same time. Yoongi truly amazed you. His words are so compelling that you can't help but surrender to him.

"What about you?"

You're taken aback by his question so you dumbly say, "Huh. What about me?"

He chuckles at your befuddlement, "Silly, I told you about my major. It's fair you also tell me yours."

"Oh, so you're a strong believer of an eye for an eye." Your remark renders him into a fit of giggles, the notes of his laughters becoming your lullaby.

"Funny, but no. I just want to know as well, since we both kinda have similar majors. Culinary is art too."

You release a deep sigh and accord, "Yeah, it is. But I look at it way differently than you do. I focus more on the precision of food preparation, make sure that there isn't a single blotch present on the plating because one stray dot, or a mere grain of rice falling from its place—" You shake your head, "—ruins the whole dish. You could say that I'm a perfectionist freak."

"Damn," Yoongi peters off before asking, "If you look at it that way though... doesn't it stress you more?"

"If I don't look at it that way, it would upset the customers."

Your answer makes him silent. You don't know if he's aware of your perturbation. But if he is, he doesn't show it through his actions.

"But have you ever thought of the instance that maybe the customers wouldn't be too disappointed because, well, surely they will recognize the effort you've put in to serve them a dish that will appeal them."

He obliviously shows it through his words. It's another bullseye to you and you wonder if you're that so easy to read. Or, if Yoongi just really knew the right words to say.

"I haven't... thought about it that way..." you admit, nibbling on your bottom lip.

You're absolutely aware that your anxiety is becoming more and more evident with the way you were fidgetting with your hands, your body quivering slightly both because of the chilly air and that certain feeling crawling up on your skin once again.

"Mm, not everything has to be perfect, Y/N. But, it's also not wrong to aim being a perfectionist. It's the way how you do it. If you're open to mistakes and failure, it gives you more chances to improve. Failing is also a part of perfecting. They go hand in hand."

His voice keeps you grounded and you don't realize that you've been holding your breath until you feel Yoongi's soft palm resting over yours that had been fisting your sweat pants.

"You're making me cry, Yoongi. Why do you have to be such a deep talker?" You try to make it sound like you're joking, but your voice brittles at the end.

There was no way to hide what you're truly feeling now. Yoongi isn't dense, you know that.

But it makes you feel pathetic. You feel like you didn't deserve to cry there and then, because if you break at that moment, everything you've ever held in will account for nothing.

"I'm sorry," he genuinely says, drawing small circles on the back of your hand. "I don't mean to make you cry."

"Yeah, I know." You laugh bitterly, the next words falling into whispers, "You always know what to say... it's breaking and easing me at the same time..."

Yoongi doesn't catch what you said.

"What's that?"

"Nothing, I just said that I know it wasn't your intention." You blink away the tears that are threatening to fall. Then, with the most unfeigned smile you could muster, you bravely face him. "And don't worry, I'm not actually gonna cry. It's a metaphor."

You're glad that it's dark because Yoongi takes the bait. At least, that's what you think.

"Are you gonna start speaking in figures of speech?"

"Oh, shut up," you say, chortling at his jest.

The heavy tension soon simmers, and you're grateful that you didn't fall apart in front of Yoongi. But of course, you're also incognizant.

You're oblivious of the fact that he knows that deep inside of yourself, you wanted to collapse. That you wanted to break free from your own shadows at that moment. That you yearned to forgive yourself.

But you still couldn't so he gives you your own space. Even though he severely wanted to yell at you right there and then — scold you to stop giving yourself a hard time. To stop putting him in a pedestal. He wanted you to know that he also has his own flaws. He wanted to let you know that you were perfectly imperfect.

But he didn't explode to you that night, because he wants to treat you with the utmost care as much as possible. He wants to be patient with you — wait for you until you can finally let yourself loose.

He will gently guide you — light your path, and lead you slowly but surely to fully embrace both your flaws and strengths. Be your sanctuary. He wants you to feel what you've been making him feel.

︶︶︶⠀୨♡୧⠀︶︶︶

You're in the middle of the dark waters once again. Like the other night, the familiar serpent crawls over your legs, hurling you deeper and deeper into the abyss.

The pressure that rings in your ears feel all too real, the memories of your failures echoing around you while you desperately try to search for the source of the deafening voices.

Underneath the torrential waves, you furrow your eyebrows, because all the voices sounded the same. Too familiar. It's thunderous, the distinct roar making you wince.

And then everything turns bright.

You don't feel yourself floating. Instead, you were lying comfortably on a bed of flowers. The petals tickle your cheeks, causing you to smile at the sensation. It's so warm, so reassuring.

The flowers begin to feel real in your hold and you can't stop yourself from caressing their softness. It's too real, too tangible.

When you open your eyes, you feel something heaving against your face. It's soft and tepid, almost lulling you back to slumber.

Yoongi's hands feel like home around your sides. And your own hands fit perfectly around his waist. You feel like two missing puzzle pieces that had finally found their pair.

His soft breaths kiss the top of your head. Carefully craning your head upwards, the sight of Yoongi's serene state welcomes you. His lips are slightly parted and his face is relieved of all kinds of creases and wrinkles.

In your hazy state in a too early morning, you bury your face into his chest, his heartbeat serving as your lullaby as you slowly fall back into the most peaceful slumber you've ever had in the longest time.

︶︶︶⠀୨♡୧⠀︶︶︶

When the skies are sapphire and the sun is painting everything on its way vibrantly, Yoongi drives until the blue waters disappear from sight, until the white sands turn into green meadows.

He drives along the long path until you leave the outskirts, and the familiarity of small establishments appear in your eyesights.

You both had end up in a small town so Yoongi slows down the car to give you both the time to admire the architecture styles of each building.

"I like how old-fashioned this town is," Yoongi comments and you nod in agreement.

"We should make a stop here," you suggest to which he immediately concurs.

He drives into a pay parking area and when both of your feet had landed on the gravel stones, you stretch your sore limbs that had been in the same idled position for hours.

Yoongi laughs at you and you shoot him a questionable gaze. "What's so funny? Aren't you aching?"

He shakes his head. "It's nothing, and I'm fine."

Yoongi thinks you're cute but he doesn't tell you that.

You shrug and say, "Suit yourself."

"Come on, let's make the most of our time." Yoongi offers you his hand to which you immediately interlace with yours. Your gaze lingers on your intertwined fingers for a beat longer than usual.

You're reminded of the time he pulled you around the clothing store, the fond memory still clear in your mind. Lips curving upward, you don't notice it until Yoongi points it out.

"What's with the smile?"

"I can smell coffee, I'm craving for it!" You smoothly dodge while Yoongi sniffs the air.

"You have a strong sense of smell," he muses.

This time, it's you who pulls him along, leading the way as you follow the aroma of coffee bean and apple cinnamon.

The bell dings upon your entrance to the coffee shop. In broad daylight, only a few tables are occupied because usually, the cafe's rush hours are during the nights.

"A medium Vanilla Cold Brew, no whipped cream, and less ice. And a tall Iced Americano, no water, with one shot of heavy cream and two pumps of vanilla syrup," you tell the cashier.

Beside you, Yoongi looks down on you with pure adoration in his eyes. When you two walk to the other end of the counter, you give him an inquisitive gaze.

"What?"

You watch as he stops fending his signature gummy smile from emerging. "You've memorized my order?"

You don't even realize how much of a surprisal that is to Yoongi. While you're confounded for a moment, he takes the leisure to map out the cute creases on your eyebrows and engrave them in his memory before he gently presses a thumb between your brows.

"It's what you always order whenever we have coffee break after school, how could I not remember it?"

He shakes his head at your nescience, his smile lines still visible to you. "What if I ask you why didn't you order your usual pastry to-go as well? Cheese rolls?"

Your cheeks suddenly feel warm despite of the frosty temperature inside the coffee shop. Now, you're aware of the meaning behind his words.

Chewing on your bottom lip, you mumble, "Well... they didn't have your favorite... Blueberry scones... So, I didn't want to eat without you doing so too."

A few moments ago, Yoongi could still feel his own heart beating against his chest. But now, he's certain that it had jumped away from his ribcage and took shelter in you.

But he doesn't tell you that.

Instead, he compliments you, "That's thoughtful of you, Y/N."

Your name rolls on his lips seamlessly, sounding like a melody to your ears. The thumping of your heart intensifies that you turn around to avoid Yoongi's piercing gaze.

What is going on with me?

At the same time, your name is called, the barista handing your orders. You nimbly take the tray and the both of you slide into a booth by the window to enjoy your caffeine drinks.

︶︶︶⠀୨♡୧⠀︶︶︶

By night time, the streets outside are crowded. Oceans of people bustle inside the cafe. You also both realized that you had been chatting away all your hours inside. However, both of you don't complain. Because you'd never ran out of topics.

With being in each other's presence, you both think that time is too short.

Yoongi leads you outside the coffee shop, the frigid air almost knocking you off your feet. The two of you navigate your way amongst the swarming people until Yoongi halts, and you almost crash against his back.

You peek over your shoulder and now you understand why Yoongi had stopped.

Lots of strings of lanterns hang above you, serving as stars to light up the onyx sky. Rows of food trucks and stalls fill the road with tons of various street foods displayed, luring you to check them all out.

"Hotteok!" you exclaim and pat your friend's arm excitedly, pointing at the nearest food truck.

Yoongi giggles, his gums in display, while you pull him to line up for the hotteok.

After obtaining the desired food, your eyes catch another delicacy, bungeoppang — and another, mandu — then another, tteokbokki— and another and another, the list going on. Before you both knew it, both of yours and Yoongi's hands are filled with paper cups and barbecue sticks.

Your cheeks are full, garbling words as you point another food stall.

As you take the first step to skip, Yoongi wraps an arm around you. Mildly confused, you look up at him to see him bowing apologetically to a stranger.

You swallow the fishcake before asking him, "What was that?"

Yoongi's soft reassuring smile comes into view. "It's nothing. We almost bumped into him."

"Oh, sorry, Yoongi. I didn't see him." You pout, casting your gaze down while he presses the back of his hand against your lower lip.

"It's okay. It wasn't a big deal," he reassures you.

Your smile returns and you both resume your food adventure.

For what seems like hours, you both try out every single street food in the bazaar. When you plop against one of the outdoor picnic benches, that's when you instantly feel the soreness of your legs.

Yoongi groans across you, massaging his knees. You volunteer to dispose all of your garbage since more than half of the cups and sticks that had food earlier are now chilling in the walls of your stomach.

You give Yoongi a smile before skipping away with the litters in your hands, searching for the nearest bin in the dark.

Squinting your eyes, you finally find one and skip towards it, shoving everything inside.

You were about to walk away but then you feel an ominous hunch in your gut when you can faintly hear footsteps crunching leaves behind you. They start to get louder as each second passed by before finally, you find the strength in your limbs to start walking when the footsteps stopped.

The baleful feeling in your chest doesn't spurn when the sound of the same footsteps return, trailing behind you — urging you to fasten your pace.

You're only a few away from reaching the crowded outdoor seating area and if you speed up only a tad bit, you'll be able to reach safety—

"Hey, over here, man!"

A stranger calls out, making you look at him. He runs towards your direction, passing by your back. And you grab the chance to sprint.

You run with the adrenaline rush coursing through your nerves, serving as the fuel to spur you faster.

The back of Yoongi comes into your line of sight that you impulsively yell—

"Yoongi!"

You crash into his chest, arms enveloping around his waist as you bury your head into the crook of his neck, ragged breaths escaping from your lips.

"Woah— hey. What happened?" Yoongi instinctively rubs your back soothingly, reciprocating your actions.

"Nothing," you blatantly lie. "Can we... stay like this for awhile?"

"Of course, but... you're worrying me, Y/N."

Yoongi doesn't object your sudden request. He could've relished the warmth you're giving him but he's more concerned about what happened to you. Taking deep breaths, Yoongi continues to rub your back, ushering you to follow his breathing pattern that will hopefully calm you down.

"I'm sorry," you say after you've regained your normal breathing. "It's just... I thought someone was following me."

"What?" You feel his body tense.

"Please don't look!" You tighten your grip around him. "I'm okay now," you continue in a calmer tone. "I didn't see him but he may have passed by us already."

Yoongi's chest heaves up and down, a deep exhale rumbling from his throat.

"I'm sorry for letting you go out there alone. I should've just gone myself instead."

"Hey, don't blame yourself, Yoongi. I volunteered to do it because you were already tired. And it's my fault, anyway. I shouldn't have recklessly—"

A string snaps in your heart, the maim provoking agony; it suddenly feels like you're having a difficult time breathing again. The only anchor you have is Yoongi at this moment. But, he's also the person you've now hurt.

"Don't be ridiculous, Y/N," he disrupts you, pulling away to look at you properly. His eyes are coated with pain, worry, ire, and sadness all at once. You can't decide which one is the worst. But they all make you cower under his gaze.

"You can't possibly be blaming yourself over something that obviously wasn't your fault," he rebukes, his fiery gaze scorching you. "Stop making it an unhealthy habit of throwing yourself under the bus. Do you understand what could've happened if you had gotten kidnap? Are you still going to beat yourself up if you end up in that kind of situation?! Not the one who wronged you?! Why can't you..." His tone simmers. "Why can't you forgive yourself?"

The bullet penetrates your skin. It feels so real, too real. Moreover, it's because Yoongi was the one behind the gun. And after hesitating for a lot of times, against his conscience, he finally pulls the trigger.

You can't even process his words; they blur along your vision. They dim until you can no longer see his face. Your hot tears had finally spilled and you surrender, clutching Yoongi's shirt and convulsing against him.

And he stays with you, never leaving your side as you submit yourself wholly into a state of vulnerability. The bottle that you've closed and kept for so long falls on the ground and crumbles, shards lacerating your skin.

"Why..." you choke out as you attempt to speak. "Why... is it so hard... to be happy, Yoongi?"

Vehement hot tears incessantly spill from your eyes, your sobs amplifying in the now almost-empty outdoor seating area. Yoongi makes you look at him, your red swollen eyes causing his heart to ache.

"You have to understand that happiness doesn't come instantaneous, Y/N," he tells you sweetly, with the utmost delicate tone laced in his voice. He lulls you to his saccharine smile, his hand tucking the strays of your hair and resting against your soft cheek. A simple action that protects you from peril.

Yoongi flutters his eyes close as he rests his forehead against yours. He whispers, "The wheel has to keep on turning, Y/N. Without sadness, you can never attain happiness. It takes time, and I promise you, everything will be worth it once you reach the top of the wheel."

You choke out a sob, leaning against his warmth, gripping tightly on his shirt as you brokenly say, "But it's too much, Yoongi... It hurts too much because I feel like I'm stuck at the bottom of the wheel. I can't push it to move."

He hushes your cries, wiping the tears away from your tainted cheeks. His touch is intricate, handling you as if you were a glass that must be treated with the utmost care and protection. "Maybe because you've been pushing the brakes for too long. Tell me, Y/N." He leans away to lift your chin up.

Your gazes collide like supernova, and suddenly all you can see and feel is him. You can see yourself in his glossy irises, mirroring your own pains, and you can't help but flush yourself against his chest, afraid that he might slip away from you too.

"When was the last time you allowed yourself to feel?"

His question draws you to dig within the trenches of your subconsciousness, but you can't remember anything. You can't recall the last time you've opened your arms to your own vulnerability. Because the answer is a long time ago.

And you realize how much you've kept everything inside. A small bottle where you locked all of your painful encounters away. The discernment a little too late that the container had overflown, and you spilled everything out convulsively.

The weight of the whole world seems to lift itself away from your shoulders, and now all you feel at this moment, with Yoongi by your side, is relief. Finally, a moment when breathing doesn't feel like you're getting asphyxiated.

When your loud sobs simmers to soft cries, Yoongi takes your hand and leads you both back into the car. He helps you get inside, protecting your head by hovering his hand on top of it.

By the time he's already behind the wheel, you've stopped crying. The bags under your eyes feel heavy, your energy drained from all the sobbing that you can only look ahead of you with a faraway gaze.

You feel Yoongi rest his hand on top of yours, his warmth instantly channeling to your body. It emits you a miniscule smile — barely even there but he catches it even in the dark.

Because for Yoongi, you're his light.

︶︶︶⠀୨♡୧⠀︶︶︶

Your hands are interlaced ever since Yoongi drove away from the town. They're resting on top of your thigh and your eyes linger on them for what felt like minutes before you trail your gaze to Yoongi's side profile.

You take in his beautiful features; his vermilion locks, pale round cheeks, his feline eyes that had the color of honey, irises swirling like sweet nectar — last but never the least, his pouty pink lips glimmering under the ascending sun, looking so soft and shiny, the temptation luring your mind to wander in your fantasies; how will it feel like pressing yours against his. Will it taste saccharine or salty? Will it slot against yours perfectly?

The beating of your heart drowns the sound of the throttling engine. And suddenly, everything to you makes sense. Your currently rising heartrate, the peculiar feeling of something fluttering in your abdomen, the electrifying tingles you constantly feel whenever your skin would connect with his.

His mere presence that is the epitome of your haven, your home, your —

Love.

It feels too overwhelming that you sharply retract your hand away from his and you look away, forcing yourself to watch the passing nature in your eyes.

"What's wrong?"

Yoongi's soothing tone warms you, but the heart-shaped lump that rises on your throat is difficult to swallow.

With shut eyes, you mumble, "Nothing. I just need some sleep."

You convince yourself more than you assure him, pushing away the inundating thoughts of his smile, his laughter, his mere voice sounding like music to your ears. Forcing yourself to sleep, it took you what felt like hours to do so.

When you woke up, you find yourself alone in the passenger's seat. The empty seat beside you slightly makes you feel lonely with a hint of relief. Because truthfully, your heart nerves are still erratically beating.

In attempts to calm yourself, you exit the vehicle and bask under the cold air that instantly nips your skin. It only takes you seconds to realize that you had a stop over in a gasoline station.

You realize that you had been zoning out when Yoongi ambles out of the store, two plastic bags in his hands. His marmalade hair steals your attention straight away. Shaking your head out of your daze, he invites you to sit on the cargo bed to have breakfast.

After hoisting both of yourselves behind, you make sure to leave a sufficient amount of space between you. Then, you both quietly eat your store-bought sandwiches.

Albeit the ambience around you is still, the sun barely rising from the horizon, your heart is undergoing a series of fluctuations. Every beating sound reverberates in your ears. Your mind is going haywire, spinning and whirling like a mayhem—

"How are you feeling?"

Yoongi's sudden question makes you flinch slightly. Looking for any sign that he noticed your distress, you see that he doesn't show it. The battering of your heart against your ribcage relents for now.

You swallow thickly, "I'm... better."

It's partly the truth. Truthfully, you're feeling a lot better after your breakdown last night. But, today, you're facing a different battle. It's different from the usual ones you have, and you have no idea how to deal with it.

It's a new feeling — both frightening and consoling. You're in a fight or flight situation.

"That's good to hear." He looks at you and you're instantly trapped under his gaze.

His smile is back, smile lines accentuating his beauty marks underneathe the honey rays.

"Remember, Y/N," he speaks to you tenderly. "One step at a time. Alright?"

You nod mutely, staring as he lifts one of his hand to tuck a few strands of your hair behind your ear. His knuckles brush againts your cheeks, rendering you to pull away from his touch, break the eye-contact, and look away.

The frown that etches his features comes unnoticed to you. Nevertheless, Yoongi respects your space, and reluctantly retracts his hand that was about to reach and touch you.

︶︶︶⠀୨♡୧⠀︶︶︶

Yoongi drives with you in the backseat of the truck. He keeps checking on you in the rear view mirror, fingers tapping on the stirring wheel. He can't seem to feel at ease. He had been fidgetting in his seat for the past half an hour, pouty lips protruding and cheeks hollowed.

Meanwhile, you have been doing your very best to avoid the questionable and piercing glances being thrown at you by your best friend.

Best friend. That's right, Y/N. You have to protect your friendship. Don't surrender yourself to your feelings again.

You keep replaying your mantra in your head again and again, hoping that your newfound feelings for Yoongi dissipates.

If only it was that easy.

A few more hours fly by, and the sun is finally at its crest. Yoongi parks in front of a diner while you swiftly unbuckle your seatbelt and exit the car with the engine still revving.

You were about to enter the diner when the call of your name halts you.

Your body tenses but you turn around to see Yoongi jogging after you.

"Hey—" He pants as if he had been on a marathon for hours. The truth is, his heart is also racing because you've been acting strange for the past few hours.

"Y/N, can we talk?"

You don't answer immediately, nibbling your lower lip. His eyes fall on your lips for a fleeting moment before forcing himself to look at your eyes instead when you nod your head.

"Have I done something to upset you?"

"No!" You quickly protest. "Why would you think that?"

Yoongi fiddles with his fingers, releasing a soft sigh. He contemplates whether on he should take a step closer to you or not. He wants you to be within his reach but he's uncertain if you'll allow him. Yet, he takes the risk, anyway.

"It's just..." He decreases the distance between you by an inch. "You've been distant since this morning."

You stay frozen in your place, your eyes looking everywhere but him. Yoongi takes your silence as the confirmation.

"So, there is something. What is it, Y/N? Is this about last night? Can you tell me? So that I'll never do it again."

He takes another step closer to you, but you push him away again by taking a step backward.

"That's not what I want, YoongI!" You flail your arms. Then, your tone wanes. "I... That's not the issue at all..." you stammer.

"What then?" Yoongi's heart cracks slightly, bracing for your verdict.

"I want you to keep doing it but..." you trail off. Shutting your eyes, you muster every bit of your courage to tell him. "I just hate myself for interpreting it differently when you've been doing it ever since we've become best friends."

"I'm not following, Y/N."

"Of course, you aren't!" You retort again. Taking a deep breath, you attempt to keep yourself level-headed. "I have to say it myself now, don't I? And this... might mark the ending of our friendship." Your voice fades, brittling slightly at the end.

"Why are you saying that?"

"Because I'm in love with you, Yoongi! I have been in love with you ever since before the moment I even realized it..."

Your heart combusts, and you realize that it was too late to take back your words. So, with every fiber in your body, you bravely meet his eyes.

"You're the warmth that I always seek for. Your gentleness and your tender touch... whenever you lace your fingers with mine, I can't help but stray towards the thought that maybe... you might feel the same way."

You sniffle lightly, your tears already welling up for the second time within twenty-four hours.

"But I know we're only friends, Yoongi. And you've been doing all those things— caring for me, spending time with me, affirming me, treating me— everything! And now, I have just made things complicated and I'm scared that you will just stop doing all of those. Because now, something changed."

You lower your head in shame, fisting your hands and closing your eyes. A few drop of tears falls to the ground, the spots turning the asphalt shades darker.

It's silent. Too silent. And you were about to take it as the indication that that was it — that everything is now over when—

"And what if I told you that you thought right?"

Your eyes snap open, head craning to look at Yoongi.

"What if I told you that my heart yearns for only you and nobody else?" he confesses, taking a bold step closer to you. This time, you don't push him away.

"You said it yourself, it wouldn't make any sense for me to stay close to you when I don't see you more than just... a friend. What if I told you that I had been longing for something more between us?"

Another step closer. "That the thought of making you mine crossed my mind a lot of times?"

Another step closer. "What if I told you that I love you? But not in the way I've said it before. I love you, Y/N. More than it encompasses friendship, more than as a partner— a lover."

He breathes deeply, and he lifts a hand to cup your cheek. "I wished there was a better word than love for me to be able to express what I truly feel for you."

You're truly stupefied. Not being able to utter a single word to his confession. Yoongi looks at you in a way that you've seen a lot of times from him already.

It's the same enamored eyes, the tender touches, the compassionate actions, the solaceful words.

"Just say the word, Y/N," he whispers. "And I'm all yours."

You concede, reaching to cup his cheek. He flutters his eyes close, leaning to your touch before you stand on your tiptoes and press your lips delicately on his.

You've traced everything — every feature of his lips, mapped out his smile lines and etched them into your mind. But until this very moment, your thoughts never did any justice into capturing the details of how warm and feathery it would feel to slot your lips in his.

He kisses you like his whole life depended on it.

He kisses you as if this was going to be the last time he'll feel your unwavering warmth morphing with his.

He kisses you delicately, taking his own time to explore every crevice of your soul — inhaling your vanilla scent, and ingraining them into his memory.

And you kiss him back with as much ardor.

You reciprocate every languid and fiery ember he gives you.

It was a long, long kiss full of passion, and love. It transcends the mind, the heart, and the soul. Every note and rhythm of each pulsating kiss is heartquaking.

Your heart spills unwanted tears, tainting your cheeks that Yoongi had to pull away, his warmth distinctively leaving you.

"I can't..." you brokenly say.

"Y/N..."

The shattered call of your name crushes your heart into pieces.

"Yoongi, I can't do this to you..." Hot tears spill from your eyes, the sensation burning every trail it falls into. "I'm broken and I don't want you fixing me. You can't be with someone who can't even love themselves—"

Yoongi hushes you, cupping your cheeks and making you look at him.

"Y/N, I don't care if... if we both end up getting broken. I'd rather be broken with you than spend my whole life in happiness, knowing that you aren't by my side. I don't care how much more we become destroyed because we can build ourselves again.

It doesn't matter if we fall again, because it's a part of the process. Each time we fall, we'll learn choosing the right bricks to use. We can keep building until we reach the top and nothing can ever maim us again."

Yoongi sighs deeply, burying his hand into the back of your head. He brings you into his embrace and you welcome it with open arms.

However, the turmoil within you doesn't cease. Because this isn't what Yoongi deserved. As much as you were touched by his loving words, you still couldn't grasp around them.

You pull away completely from his touch, forcing yourself to be valorous.

This is your own battle.

And you will continue to fight it even if Yoongi isn't by your side.

Because it's what you feel that is right.

When your gazes collide, he immediately understands the look in your eyes. Although it's breaking his heart, he understands you and he will respect your decision.

But he makes a promise to you that sunrise, below the rays that are about to ascend.

"I will wait for you."

︶︶︶⠀୨♡୧⠀︶︶︶

You remember everything from that day as clear as the moment it ended. His shattered expression, his glossy irises shedding his own tears. His broken smile as he waved you goodbye.

You couldn't stay with him any longer because if you did, even for a mere second, you will crumble and fall apart, and surrender under him.

But you didn't want that. You didn't want Yoongi having to deal with your broken state.

You want to make things right. You want to be deserving of his love. You want to be the right person for him.

Even if it means letting yourself fall again beneath the chasm.

But now, you have a newfound strength. And you will wield it the right way this time. You will brave against every storm that strikes you.

You will brave against yourself — your own voice that you hear in your nightmares every time the moon made its apparition.

Because now, you have someone by your side, even it wasn't physically.

Before you dream, it's his smile that appears in your mind, the very last thing you see before you fall into slumber.

After you dream, it's his laughter that you hear first thing in the morning before you open your eyes.

While you are dreaming, it's him that you see in the depths of your shadows, the light at the end of the tunnel.

︶︶︶⠀୨♡୧⠀︶︶︶

The emerald leaves turn into sepia, dry ones descending and blanketing the asphalt. Vibrant colors morph into bold, homely and strong ones, gold and red that carpet the grass. Mist and fog waft the air, the once warm weather shifting to a frosty one.

It is the season of change. Autumn.

You've never enjoyed the breeze of the certain season until now. Puffing out small ice breaths, you smile as the leaves crunch smoothly and melodically into your ears. Your long coat barely does its job of warming you. Nonetheless, you enjoy the sudden shift of temperature.

It's a very significant day for you. It's the day where your life drastically changed — the same day from three years ago. The day you opened a new chapter in your life.

Upon your arrival, the people around you greet you with warm smiles and small bows. You reciprocate their gestures, then begin to survey your surroundings. Various shades of orange and red embellish the interior of the building, with several origamis of leaves and birds beautifying the ceilings.

Intricate strings of small pumpkin ornaments hang by the windows, along with the apricot fairy lights twinkling and lighting up the place with hues of tangerines.

"Good morning, ma'am."

The voice of your employee pulls you out of your daze. You give her a smile of gratitude. "You guys have done well as usual. The decorations are fitting and amazing."

"Thank you, ma'am!" She gratefully bows to you.

"And happy anniversary," you greet her.

She reciprocates your greeting then leaves you to your own thoughts. It's the opening anniversary of your self-made restaurant, the one thing you've been focusing on for the past three years. It had become your own safe haven because of the smiles of your customers that they give you before they step foot out of the restaurant. It's soothing in your nerves because you feel fulfilled whenever you send them away happily.

The air around you feels refreshing, and you inhale the aroma of pumpkin spices and apple pies.

It's a significant day for you not only for this reason but something else.

An art gallery had recently opened a few months ago, but you weren't able to check it out because of how busy you had been with your business. For some unfathomable reason, every time you passed by the gallery, a peculiar invisible string keeps on pulling you.

And today, you're going to find out what is that enigmatic essence luring you. You bid your staff a farewell before stepping out into the autumn air once again.

Your feet leads you into the familiar but new establishment. Standing before the entrance, you admire the bold calligraphed letters in the gradient of roses and marigolds, green vines wrapping around each letter that spelled the art gallery's name.

Gravitating towards it, you finally step foot inside the building. Your eyes wander every art piece, from portraits to landscapes, even architectural pieces before your eyes catch a glimpse of a certain painting.

Delicate strokes of blue and white smear the sky, mixtures of pigments that are beyond your comprehension creating the illusion of clear waters. And most importantly, the figure in the middle. She looks all too familiar to you. She had a cosmic smile on her face, lips curved upward, the intricate details of her cupid bow prominent. As if the artist had specifically gave much more attention to her facial features more than the landscape itself.

And unlike every other masterpiece with women adorned in extravagant dresses, the girl in the painting, instead, donned a cream-colored sweatshirt, and black shorts ending right above her knees.

Of course, you know this girl all too well.

Because it's you.

"She's beautiful, isn't she?"

The strum of familiar baritone strings fills your ears. You don't need to look to know who it is. Because his voice had been inscribed into your memory. He still sounds the same since the last time you've heard him. But more homely, warmer, deeper, more melodic.

"She is," you affirm.

"But she'll be more stunning today."

Your lips twitches into a smile. "Have you seen the model yet?"

"No," he answers. "She hasn't let me yet."

Your eyes slowly leave the painting before you, shifting to your left in an agonizingly slow manner. You take your time until you finally see his profile.

Yoongi was still the same. The same since the day you left him.

His hair was still the strong shade of red-orange, styled handsomely so that none of the fringes conceal his face. His feline eyes seem more fuller than before, more contented, happier. Amongst the galaxies that your eyes can make out, you see your own reflection. And you've never felt belonged into his eyes until this moment.

His cheeks are more defined, manly, but he still has the same lips — the lips you've once had a taste of. Looking so soft, plump, and pink. A suit dons his body, enhancing his manly and handsome features.

He is the epitome of beauty.

You finally reach out a hand to him. His gaze lingers for a beat longer before he interlaces his hand with yours. You both immediately relish each other's warmth, reveling on the moment that you two had finally found both of your ways back home.

You to him.

And him to you.

With the most genuine smile that traces your lips, you say,

"Let's run away."

[taintedjeon]

‘𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐡𝐞…’ 𝐦𝐲𝐠 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬; 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐬 𝐩𝐨𝐥𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐢𝐝𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐫𝐢𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐢𝐦

✞ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: alternative!yoongi x reader ✞ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 2k ✞ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: yoongi has tongue pierings, bigdick!yoongi, dirty talk, raw sex, riding, nipple play, nipple biting, minor hair tugging, size kink, using a polaroid during sex, mention of dacryphilia to open

disclaimer: this is entirely a work of fiction and by no means is meant to be a projection, judgment or representation of real-life people. yoongi is used solely as a face and a name for the story. this is not a representation of real-life scenarios.

series masterlist | main masterlist

“Don’t hide your pretty noises. I want you to cry for me.” Yoongi emphasises his requests as he speeds up his pace. His lips bathing your shoulder in kisses as he makes his way up to the sensitive part of your neck, causing you to shiver under his touch.

His name leaves your lips in a sinful prayer for the man in between your thighs. You can’t think, you can’t breathe, all you’re able to do is feel him filling you to the brim with all of him as tears wet your eyes, obscuring your vision.

“You’re fucking perfect,” you hear Yoongi muttering into your chest as you move yourself up and down, impaling yourself on his cock, “treating me well, ni—ah, fuck baby!”

Yoongi’s head is thrown back against the plush grey headrest of the couch, his bottom lip caught in between his teeth as he grunts in pleasure. One of his hands rest on your hips, the warmth of his palm and the coldness of his rings decorating his lithe fingers causes shivers to run over your body.

He is incredible. Insatiable even. Yoongi knows your body better than you know it yourself. He knows just how to fuck you right, every single time.

With your body shaking and eyes screwed shut tight in arousal, you miss Yoongi reaching out beside him. A click, accompanied by a quick bright flash takes you by surprise, causing your eyes to flutter open.

Halting your movements, you peer down at Yoongi who is staring straight into your eyes — blackened, blown out and filled with lust. You clench your pussy around his cock and smile at the polaroid in his hands.

“Want to remember this moment.”

“Well let me help you,” you tell him as you grab at his hand and place it on your tits, guiding him to palm you. Yoongi is more than happy to indulge you and plays with your nipple in between his thumb and pointer finger, tugging at the bud, watching it harden under his touch. You lace your fingers with his and then watch as he snaps a new image of him groping you.

One of your hands comes to rest on the back of his head, fingers gripping into his long strands of raven hair and giving them a soft tug in that way he loves. You lean down and kiss Yoongi with a surge of urgency. It’s wet and messy as your tongues tangle and lips smack against each other. His dual tongue bars give the kiss an added edge as he usages it to his advantage to lick against your lower lip before pulling at the skin in between his teeth. From below, you feel Yoongi lift his hips causing the tip of his cock to press deeper inside of you. A strangled moan slips past your kiss bitten lips at the welcomed pleasure.

Yoongi is thick and heavy inside of you, stretching you loose in ways no man ever has done before. Sex with Yoongi is always exciting and with added kinks to explore with each other, he always leaves you wanting more every time.

“How’s my angel doing?” He whispers as he plays about with the settings on the camera before pointing the lens back in your direction.

“G-good, want to keep going—fuck!” You curse at the end as he moves his hips again and snaps another image of you as your face contorts in unadulterated pleasure.

“G’on, move for me princess, show me how cock drunk you get for me, yeah.”

You don’t need to be told twice. You slid your hands across his chest, tracing the lines of the dragon tattoo that spans across his well built upper body. Through lustful eyes, you watch as Yoongi bites his lip at your touch and you keen, knowing that you’re the one to bring Min Yoongi down to this state with you.

Lifting your hips, you glide your cunt from his base to the tip, managing to feel every vein that wraps around his pretty length.

“Fuck, wait stay there. Let me get a picture of this, holy shit…” Yoongi proclaims and takes the third picture on the polaroid. “Don’t move. Keep yourself hugging my tip, fuck you gotta see how wet you got my cock princess.”

You do as you’re told and you keep your body positioned above him, cockhead nuzzled snuggly in your small hole as you await the polaroid to print the film.

Minutes pass and it doesn’t take long for your legs to start trembling from your muscles being stagnant in this position for a little longer than you’re used to.

“Yoongi, I wanna fuck!” Your protest comes out whiny as you fight the urge to drop yourself down to begin fucking him again.

The sound of the polaroid printing is heard between the both of you and you watch as Yoongi reaches for the film, shaking it in the air for a few seconds before looking at it.

He groans, and you feel arousal build up and leak onto Yoongi’s cock. The sounds that Yoongi creates, every moan, every rumble of his chest pushes you to keep still.

Next thing, Yoongi is twisting the picture around for you to see with your own eyes and what a sight it was. His length looks swollen with use, hard and stunningly decorated in those pretty veins you enjoy giving attention when he allows you. His length glistens under the flash of the camera from the juices he has spilled from your pussy and now it’s your turn to moan.

“Can you see too? The way I barely fit inside you…” he trails off. “Look at you struggling to take my fat cock in your tight cunt, I’ve never seen anything so fucking stunning. This is art.”

Warmth spreads around your body at his words as you look at the image as he speaks to you with so much filth. You flutter around him, utterly brain dead from Yoongi’s cock.

You’re not given enough time to think before Yoongi rocks his hips up, stroking your walls beautifully as he pulls you down to bury himself back in the hilt of his home which is your pussy. Tears gather in your eyes, giving them a sparkle that Yoongi loves to coax from you as he throws the camera back to the side in order for him to guide you up and down his throbbing dick.

The burn in your thighs is present and makes itself apparent as you continue to work your muscles into overdrive as you ride Yoongi like your life depended on it. Yoongi wraps both his hands around your back, palms resting against your clammy skin as he whispers filthy praises and prays of you into your skin, absolutely lost in the lust that is you and your tiny cunt.

You scratch at his chest, digging your nails through the dragon tattoo, breaking the skin and knowing that there will be a trail of red desire marked into his skin for the evening.

“You’re so big!” You hiccup, feeling Yoongi increase the speed of his hips into you, his ego swelling at your words.

“Ah, your pussy is leaking all over me, making such a mess of me angel.” Yoongi punctuates his words with a firm buck into your cunt, Yoongi highlights the loud squelching sounds of your ministrations.

One of his hands finds your wrist and brings it up to his mouth where he places kiss after kiss on each knuckle. He guides your hand further down until it finds the column of his throat and you rest there.

“G’on princess, choke me a little,” Yoongi grunts through gritted teeth and so you do as you’re told, applying a light amount of pressure around Yoongi’s throat. You watch as Yoongi’s eyes flutter closed and his mouth opens in pleasure, his tongue coming out to lick at the corner of his lips. The glint of his tongue ring makes you whine. Your body manages to fight through the overstimulation of his cock fucking into you over and over again as you take over as much as Yoongi is allowing you.

Now, you’re using each other and it’s never felt so fucking pleasurable. You eye the polaroids that Yoongi had taken early scattered around the sofa around his body and you smirk as the tears are rolling down your cheeks in small rivulets. You are both drowning each other in sex so intense, the pleasure borders on almost painful.

With each drop off your hips, you feel him deep in your stomach. Your body burns in overexertion but you don’t stop until you’ve both reached your ends.

“I’m taking you so well, Yoongi, can you feel me!?” You swivel your hips as you ask.

“Nobody got a pussy like yours… best pussy I’ve ever fucked, princess, swear.” Yoongi rasps through your hold on his throat. At his words, you squeeze your fingers just a little tighter around his throat.

“You gonna come, angel?”

You nod at him. “I’m so close, please. Please, I need to!” You beg him to let you finally reach your climax, your hips working faster.

“Just like that baby, you’re doing so good.” you could hear that his voice is straining as his hips become sloppier in their movements. Your spare hand reaches for the headrest of the sofa behind him.

“Fuck, yes, keep going, keep going, I’m gonna fill you to the fucking brim, gonna watch you bloat with my cum,” Yoongi is loud, not afraid who around you both hears his promise to you. 

The living room fills with moans and skin slapping against skin as the pair of you use each other to reach your climaxes. Finally, yoongi leans forward and takes a nipple in between his teeth and runs both his tongue bars over the hardened bud back and forth. Yoongi bites down hard and in return, your pussy vices him in and your hands release from his neck. All at once, Yoongi’s breath hitches as the air returns to his burning lungs and comes inside of you, filling you with his hot sticky white seed as he paints your body with filthy praises.

Soon after, you meet your orgasm shortly behind his own. Your body stills as you tremble above him as your body releases your arousal all over Yoongi, making a mess of him and probably the couch underneath.

He is quick to wrap his arms around you, holding you as your body twitches through your orgasm. Yoongi can’t help but give tiny shallow thrusts to help aid you through it.

You both bask in the glow of intense sex as you both collapse onto each other. Yoongi is the first to move as he wraps his arms around you and lifts you up off of his softening cock. The feeling of him moving through your sensitive cunt causes you to hiss but you pout when he has fully removed himself.

After catching his breath, Yoongi guides you to lie down on the sofa as he reaches once more for the polaroid.

“Yoongi, what’re you—,” you’re cut off with the familiar click of the camera and bright flash momentarily brightening up the living room before bathing it back in it’s natural darkness.

“I can’t fuck you that well and not get the money shot, can I?” You hear the smirk in his voice. You feel a hand wrap around your ankle and then your legs are being pried apart slowly. “C’mon, let me see how messy you are for me, yeah?”

Now it’s your turn to laugh as you indulge Yoongi in his request, giving him the opportunity to get the device up close and personal to your cunt before snapping a new image.

“Yeah, these are definitely going into the wank bank for later.”

© 𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝𝐣𝐞𝐨𝐧 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟑. ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ʀᴇᴘᴏꜱᴛ, ᴛʀᴀɴꜱʟᴀᴛᴇ ᴏʀ ᴄᴏᴘʏ ᴀɴʏ ᴏꜰ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋ.

[hoseoksluna]

STEAM | myg ft. jjk

pairing: boyfriend!yoongi x oc (feat. jungkook)

genre: smut

word count: 9.2k

summary: one video call awakens your neediness for two cocks.

playlist: steam / pinterest board: steam

warnings: female masturbation, mentions of shower sex, praise kink, toying with the idea of polyamory, a hint of voyeurism, oc rly goes through it and faces mental battles, fear, intoxication, punishment, dom/sub dynamics, fingering, choking, cum eating, manhandling, degradation, provocation, mutual masturbation, rough & raw sex, brief oral sex (f. receiving), pet names

note: IT'S FINALLY HEREEEEEE SKFDSFLSFJ, okay so—let me introduce to you a new yoongi series featuring JUNGKOOK oh my god. i am SO EXCITED about this and i wanna apologize for my insane ideas in advance... i'm so sorry, guys. nevertheless, i hope you like this as much as i do, i literally went mad writing this and i smoked so many cigarettes i lost count. please, let me kNOW UR FAVORITE PARTS CUZ I HAVE SO MANY AND I WANNA TALK ABOUT THEM. oh fuck, guys. ENJOY READING SDKFJSD. ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

side note: btw, the playlist i made is literally perfect and depicts the fic wonderfully. you can listen while you read! <3

The scent of mangoes finds its way up your nostrils, heating your senses through its balmy touch as you rub the body butter over the damp skin of your arms. Fingers graze along your décolletage, tucking in the fragrance for your boyfriend to breathe in when he comes home. He’s out for the night—said something about his friend finishing his military service, so the whole group was going out to celebrate it. Yoongi was so frantic in his excitement, hastily putting on the first outfit that sparked his eye. Didn’t even touch his hair, only sprayed a mist of his sandalwood and tangerine-tinged perfume. Grabbed his phone, keys, wallet. Barely kissed you goodbye before he fled out of the door.

He didn’t even ask you if you wanted to come along.

You didn’t mind, though—you’re only in the early stages of your relationship. It hasn’t even been half a year since you’ve started dating. And you figure he deserves a night out with his closest friends because you’ve been attached to the hip since the beginning. Funnily enough, you no longer live at your own place. Somehow, you’ve settled in Yoongi’s apartment, never setting foot outside, save for your walks, grocery shopping, the few dates with your friends and work. There wasn’t any conversation about it; you just mostly spend your free time with your boyfriend.

And all you do is fuck, eat and watch movies.

The last time Yoongi took you out was during the first two months you’d been getting to know him. The realization of how long it’s been sends a trail of chills down your arms and you rub it away.

But because you’ve been spending all your time together, you’re glad to have a moment to yourself—glad to be able to take a long hot shower, to do your hair and skincare. Perhaps, you’ll even have time to do your nails and that energizes you, propels you to spread the body butter further down the rest of your body. It is your rose garden, these night times reserved for your hot showers. The place you go to—your hideaway from the pressure and nerves of life that the steam loosens and soothes, especially when you let your sultry playlist echo through the mightiness of Yoongi’s bathroom, your favorite singer’s voice reaching your veins like the growing stems of those roses; pretty, pink and so feminine. Yes, Yoongi’s therapy sessions and thick length might have been a great help, the best in fact, but there’s something about letting yourself be burned off of all that’s been weighing you down and watching it trickle down the drain that is just so satisfying.

It was all that you were once used to. That is, until you met Yoongi.

Showers with him are something else.

Something you never thought you could ever have the blessing to encounter. Showers with Yoongi are intense, so out of pocket that you find yourself thinking about them fondly whenever you’re alone with your thoughts. There, beneath the downpour of the warm water, he lets you see the other side of his ever unyielding stern façade. While holding you, he would make you laugh, then make you moan and break that sound with each hard plunge of his cock. Hair slicked back, smirk adorning that delicious wet mouth, causing him to look like a Mafioso bent on absolutely ruining you. He would tell you the most insane story he heard from his friend, then talk you through the build-up of your orgasm while continuing to the point of that story—seamlessly waving through, never losing tempo. “Then, he went up to his hyung to ask him about what he did—yes, just like that, honey, take it. I know you’re almost there, just listen.” You would come all over his cock, sprinkling him with your essence, right there at the end of his story and like a hungry man, he’d get on his knees and eat you up, muttering how good you are and how well you did along with each swipe of his tongue. Your lungs would heave due to the overstimulation, your legs would tremble, unable to stand and he’d gather you into his arms, fold you like paper into the crooks of his body and let his thick duvet drape over you. He’d fall asleep first, breathing in the scent of your shampoo, snoring softly behind you while spooning you, never letting go of his deathly grip around you. And while you would breathe in the haze of lilac sprayed on his pillows, you’d become aware of the drowsy rhythm of his heartbeat, the lift and fall of his chest against your back, the snug heat of his body and it would lull you to sleep.

That has become your new version of hot long showers.

And if it isn’t this, then it’s Yoongi letting you quickly wash yourself before he’d steal you away, dragging you into this bed, only to carry you back there an hour later.

You speculate he has a serious, adorable case of attachment issues.

That is why you enjoy your exceptional alone shower all the more—you haven’t had it in so long. Only this time, it’s quite different.

You feel him everywhere.

You feel him in the drift of your hand down your tummy because you recollect the way he likes to pepper kisses there on his way to eat you out. You feel him when you round your palms across your backside because you know he particularly likes to leave traces of saliva when he presses open-mouthed kisses there. His love for you circulates in your bloodstream, mingling with the little love you have for yourself, making it bigger, turning it into a turbulent rush of liquid. You sense it tapping beneath your skin, asking for more of your body just like Yoongi does, always begging, begging for more—for more skin to kiss and lick, for more sensitive parts of you to find and nibble on.

Your hands sense the ghost of him even when your fingers slip past your mound and realize that the film of your memories dampened your cunt. You hear the words of praise he’d utter into your ear at the discovery and you sigh at your tender touch. 

That’s a good girl. Messy for me. 

The rotund case of your body butter remains opened, forgotten. You suddenly have better things to do—like give your body the self-care, the self-love it deserves.

It’s a part of the solo girl's night.

A mewl comes out of your mouth at the first round of circles on your clit. Furrowing your brows at the pleasure, you prop your free hand on the edge of the bathroom counter, riding the pads of your fingers. And then, just like Yoongi taught you, you take your digits away, edging yourself, taking them elsewhere. You cry out at the contact of your wet fingertips on your stiff nipple and you pinch the nub, a spasm of delight coursing through your sensitiveness.

You imagine Yoongi standing behind you. Not touching you, merely guiding you, telling you when to stop, when to pick up the pace—when to fill your hole. Watching you in the mirror, hands in his pockets, having a perfect view of your slick-caked folds, of your clit swollen and asking for his tongue. Determined to make you lose your mind by teasing you, letting you only slap your pussy once you’re close. Your essence drips out of you at that thought, making a mess on the floor and you plug it in with your finger, fucking yourself steadily, inflamed by how slippery your heat is, how easy it is to slip the digit inside. Hot flashes close over your body, pearls of perspiration kissing the crook of your neck. You fuck yourself faster and—

A sudden ring of your phone jolts you. And the picture of your boyfriend, half dressed, with the early morning sunlight leaking over the scars and tattoo on his shoulder, crammed inside your screen, greets you.

You pant hard, your finger still inside of you. Delirious.

He must be on his way home. You don’t even know what time it is. 

Leaning forward, you hide your breasts behind your forearm and you swipe your finger to accept his video call.

Blurry Yoongi. The night sky, starlit and alive, behind him. A shoal of silhouettes, some lanky and some buff, all short-haired and all as woozy-lidded as you. The picture smooths into a crystal clear view and there you see your boyfriend, the nocturnal breeze brushing his ebony hair back. Not just him, however, but another male craning his neck to regard you fully. 

His eyes flicking from your neck to the smallest of your exposed décolletage, a smirk blossoming on his face like your imaginary roses. 

Yoongi slaps his phone face down. You withdraw your finger from your heat, a cacophony of giggles, whiny cries and the exclamations of his name emitting out of your mouth. 

He is not, in fact, on his way home. 

It is a warning, his low and strict call of your name back and, heeding it, you take your phone into your hands, so he’s only able to see your deeply flushed face. Device back in his hand, he’s not looking at you at all. As a matter of fact, he’s shooting daggers fueled with deadly nightshade at his friend, grumbling something that you can’t quite make out amidst the chaos and bustle of the outing. The shoal of the rest of his friends and strangers disappear out of the perspective, as if threatened by the cold energy. 

You wish you knew what he’s saying to him. Even your pussy aches to hear it. The principle of him scolding his friend for looking at you at your most private moment scorches you and you’re red, flattered and majestically horny. 

Yoongi turns his head to see if you’re well-behaved and you beam at him, the pulse on your clit intensifying, forcing you to say, “come home, Yoongi.” 

He chuckles, aware of the reason behind your words, pretends he isn’t. “What were you doing, baby?” 

The growth of your grin doesn’t falter. You show him the sheen of your wet finger in the ivory bathroom light, the glint, the stickiness as you push your index finger to your middle and pull away, your arousal on full, filthy display. 

He curses under his breath. Doesn’t give a fuck that his friend sits beside him and adjusts in his seat. Bites his lip briefly. “Stick it in your mouth for me.” 

Doesn’t say the words that so very often follow after in that sentence. Taste yourself. 

Why he doesn’t step aside to take this video call eludes you, but something about you being watched by two pairs of eyes excites you. Enough for you to do as he says. Perhaps it’s due to the fact you don’t know the male sitting beside him and Yoongi is letting him keep his sight glued to the screen. 

Two sharp inhales of breath. Not one of yours. Yoongi readies his hook to feignedly lash out at his friend and you press your thighs together to alleviate yourself of the unbearable feeling between your legs. Confidence, a bad, bad version of confidence suffuses you whole, turning you into a person gone mad by lust. You swirl your tongue around your digit, the tanginess of your taste causing your eyes to narrow, the principle of driving not just one, but two men mad just the same intoxicates you, as if you were there among them, drinking. 

A pair of round eyes peek at the corner of the screen. Soft, naive, so terribly innocent. A dash of sobriety washes over you, owed to those brownish effervescent orbs, a sprinkle shame pooling low in your core. A reality check. You sense some kind of stability of that reality beneath those eyelashes of his, the stability that whispers—is this the right thing to do? 

It’s not rough, it’s not stern, it’s not Yoongi coded—it’s anything but. Gentleness is what you detect, free of any prejudice. 

You sigh. Millions of thoughts about how you could toy with them pass through your mind, but you decide against them, the stability a pillar that blends into your spine, helping it unbend. You can’t do this; you can’t do this to Yoongi and you need to keep your dignity intact in some way, despite the fact that every fiber of your body compels you to do the opposite. You distract yourself by screwing the lid of your body butter back on. 

“Good girl,” Yoongi coos, causing you to whisk your eyes to the screen in perhaps disbelief, shame or your still pending arousal—you’re not sure. How can you be a good girl when you let another man see something so lewd? How can your boyfriend validate something like that? “One more beer and I’ll be home. Wait for me on the bed. As you are.” 

Naked. 

Heat rushes to your cheeks, to the surface of every part of your skin, dragging away small ounces of shame. You curse, mentally, running a hand down your face. Yoongi downs his drink without taking his gaze off of you, watching your reaction, adds once he swallows, “and don’t touch yourself.” 

And with that, he hangs up. 

The harsh comprehension of what the fuck just happened envelops you in a confining embrace, the precipitately increasing weight of shame now a burden on your shoulders that you just can’t shake off, even when you slink your arms through sleeves of your silky robe and welcome in the summer breeze coming to caress your face on the balcony—even when you burst your lighter to a flame and light up your cigarette, inhaling the smoke that you hoped would rid you of its such uncomfortable hold around you. 

You licked your cum clean under the gape of a guy you don’t know in front of your boyfriend. 

His friend heard the order. Don’t touch yourself. Yoongi didn’t whisper it. Didn’t camouflage his words in any way. Uttered them straight and bare, allowing his friend to hear them, despite the fact he almost fought him then and there for sneaking one glance at your moderately naked form. 

Question marks hover in your mind and the pulse on your clit cries, seemingly knowing the answer. 

Did Yoongi like it as much as you did, the aspect of having an audience? 

The wetness in your heat dribbles out, staining your thighs. You squeeze them together, the drag of your cigarette hard and long, expecting to feel your nerves burn off. You gain no such thing—no relief, no lifting of the burden, just constricting tangles in your tummy, zippy spasms of butterflies going mad, mad, mad. 

Perhaps Yoongi didn’t like it at first until he perceived the auspicious debauched look on your face. Saw the way you didn’t hesitate to oblige him when he told you to stick your finger in your mouth. And perhaps the fact that you didn’t express any signal of discomfort was the key to unfastening the leash on his possessiveness over you. 

What have you done? What have you so selfishly and disgustingly done? 

You hang your head in your hands, the white smoke intertwining with the burden on your shoulders and pressing down harder on you. 

That’s why he let his friend hear the command. Don’t touch yourself. He saw the way you indulged in it, and that awakened his liking for it.

Yoongi lied when he said he’d have one more beer. 

By the time you hear the thunder of his voice, all the roses in your garden have wilted, leaving faded, withered petals in its wake—leaving a path of your internal battle all around the apartment for Yoongi to follow. You’ve paced, your bare feet stepping on them. Tried to untangle yourself from the incarceration of your mind by chain-smoking, but to no avail. The only change that took place in your body was the decline of your shame, for you couldn’t help but imagine what could have happened, had you let free rein to your desire—had those round eyes never looked at you with such purity. You figured there wasn’t anything bad about letting your imagination be colored like that, and so you sat on your boyfriend’s couch, cigarette switched to a coconut-flavored vape, and dreamed.

You dreamed about those two men being of service to you, right here on the same couch, where they would lay you down and make you squirt over and over again, betting between each other who could make you come the fastest, counting down your orgasms until the number was a mere blur to you. 

The throb on your clit heightened to heavenly levels and when you emerged from your dream, you found yourself being able to breathe—your momentary disappearance tricking your shame into leaving. It was difficult for you not to touch yourself and you opted to adhere to Yoongi’s wish, not risking to feel worse than you already had. 

The war ended, undeterred by the fact you never expected it to. 

Loud swear words roar in Korean. You rise to your feet to open the front door for Yoongi and you discover that he’s not alone at all. 

The same pair of round eyes, the cause of all the ruckus you just departed from, meet yours, hauling you back there with a force. Your mouth falls agape and before you can react any further, Yoongi stumbles into you. You almost topple over, realizing you didn’t care to steal a glance at the state of him, but the male grabs a hold of Yoongi’s jacket and pulls him back. You wish you had tumbled over and the floor had opened up and swallowed you whole. It would have been less embarrassing than to be stuck in this situation. You want to run, you want to scream— 

“He’s drunk out of his own mind,” the male says, his voice deep like the warm wind before a tumultuous storm, fitting just right with the thunder of Yoongi’s intonation, his gaze wandering over the entirety of your shock-stricken face, taking it in; giving you the same attention that fucked you up hours ago. Yoongi begins to mumble something you can’t momentarily focus on, his hands grasping your waist, lips latching onto your neck. No, you cannot for the life of you focus because the man steals you all over again and you hate how easy it is for him to do that, when you’re far from being available. “Don’t ask what made him drink this much.”

Did Yoongi get drunk because he let his friend in on your most intimate moment? 

Humiliated, turned on and angry altogether, a concoction that simply worsens everything, you draw back from your boyfriend. You want to beat at his chest with your fists just to have some sort of relief from blaming him—because if you blame yourself, only doom consumes you. Why did he call you? Or, essentially, why didn’t he step away to take that damned video call? 

“Thanks for walking him home,” you say eventually, your voice smooth, despite the violence of your feelings, despite wanting to say something else entirely. Your first words to him and, wholeheartedly—despite it all, you hope they aren’t last, even if that possibly makes you a despicable person. 

Yoongi’s friend nods. Chews his bottom lip and lowers his gaze to the ground for a split second. You wonder if he feels the need to remove himself from this uncomfortable situation as much as you do because you can’t read anything in that paleness of his countenance. Not a hint of any emotion whatsoever, just blandness of expression, slightly dimmed by the few thick strands of black hair that have fallen from his disheveled, pushed back mullet. As if they did fight after all, perhaps on the way home, or wrestled if Yoongi was being difficult. 

You don’t realize you and the male are just staring at each other until Yoongi places his hand on your cheek, brushing back a wisp of your tresses. Only then do your eyes flick to Yoongi’s and you finally notice him, the gloss in his hooded irises searching and searching for you, the rosy blush on his cheeks, dry parted mouth and the dart of his tongue as he wets it, softening the flecks that have been created there. 

This is it. If you are focused on him, all things are made right—all things that have been stained get purified and dreams get turned into dust. This is the man you’ve fallen for, who puts you before himself and has done so every day since the moment he made you his. You can’t let anyone else get in the way of the home that your relationship has become, you can’t let your feelings flee—

“For the record,” Yoongi’s friend starts, hand massaging circles on the nape of his neck, the leather of his jacket tight around his arm. Your heart jumps and beats against your chest ferociously. “I didn’t see anything, if that helps you sleep better tonight.” 

It’s such a fat lie and you’re about to shake your head, but then he looks at you with such sincere regret that, ultimately, you choose to believe him. Just to keep your peace of mind unscarred. 

Yoongi tightens his hold around your waist, which grounds you, and a small part of you begins to bloom in healing, disseminating little by little across your whole body. 

A healer with big, round eyes. A good man. 

With a swing, Yoongi closes the door but you don’t hear the click. No, the light spills in from the hallway. Your hands reach for the doorknob but Yoongi blocks them and wraps them around his waist while swaying on his feet. He traces the shell of your ear with his lips, his alcohol-reeking breath wafting over you, and softly, you whine his name. Shuffling beyond the door, feet never entirely moving—the male is still standing outside and he hears as Yoongi hums at your call, as the sound grows into a groan at the feeling of being alone with you at last, at the feeling of all that makes you feminine under his hands. He hears your gasp as Yoongi pushes your chest flush to his body, kisses you harshly and cups your bare pussy. Hears the smack of your mouths, the pop once he withdraws, the squelch of your wetness. Hears as Yoongi murmurs, “you been horny, baby? Wet for me, hm?”

It’s those words that make him shut the door for you.

You made Yoongi drink a lot of water. 

And while he downed the glasses, you ordered him Thai food from his phone, which he now devours. You had wanted to change out of your flimsy robe into your plush pajamas, but Yoongi stopped you with a tight grip on your shoulder and with the nastiest puppy eyes he could manage, considering his plastered state, he begged you not to. Informed you that he wanted to fuck you in your little robe and you told him that if he wanted that, he needed to get sober. 

He’s your boyfriend and you trust him, but you don’t feel comfortable having sex with him while he’s wasted and you’re not. It’s a dangerous territory you don’t ever want to cross. 

So, now he eats as quietly as a mouse, feeding you every other bite with his chopsticks, meanwhile you’re jittering your leg with your arms crossed across your chest, mind full of the male who walked him home. Of the way he pulled you under and resurfaced with you soon after. Of the calm peace you feel all over the perimeter of your mind that peculiarly stresses you out. Of what would happen if you voiced your little dream to Yoongi, especially. 

Was it out of the question or would he consider it? 

Your leg jitters harder. 

You want to tell him, badly. Seeing his friend in real life changed fucking everything. If you hadn’t, you would’ve forgotten about it in the days to come. Yoongi would’ve fucked it out of you in most probability. But those eyes… those eyes got under your skin. 

“Stop fidgeting,” Yoongi scolds with his mouth full of food, no hint of slurring. The hot meal and hydration worked a miracle. “You’re making me nervous.” 

He picks up two cut pieces of chicken with his chopsticks and stuffs your mouth, adding a few pieces of vegetables as you’re chewing. Watches you swallow it, noticing how your eyes are focused on nothing in particular on the other side of the room. Tucking his utensils under his palm, he places his hand on your thigh, halting your restless motion. 

You still won’t look at him. Too lost in the overthinking maze, debating whether you should speak or remain quiet about your desire. A strong part of you fears his reaction and the other half is horrified at the possibility of being turned down—

Yoongi takes his hand away. Props it on his cheek. 

“I can see your pussy from here,” he says, licking his lips. “You’ve shaved?” 

You breathe a soft laugh, turning your head to face him, covering yourself with the small fabric. Dark, but tender eyes, void of any glossiness, awake and stirred—amused. Cheeks awash with color. Lips puffy, a dark tinge of red coating them. A sturdy fist on his cheek, the milky jawline underneath. That messy hair, the slicked-back look ruined by the constant rake of his fingers through them, now falling to the side from the middle. That slender body, clad in the night from head to toe—legs outstretched under the table. So fine, so delicious. A beautiful strong man—all yours. Why do you want another one? 

You slide your leg across his thighs and Yoongi slouches in his seat, discarding his chopsticks. 

“I shaved everything,” you respond, cocking your brow at him—a sly invitation for him to feel its smoothness. 

And he does. Runs his hand up and down your skin. Goes as far as lifting your other leg onto his lap, cradling them both, thumb caressing your calf. The movement causes your robe to expose you again and, cursing the fabric, you go to cover yourself, but Yoongi stops you. 

“Don’t bother,” he mutters. “I wanna look at it.” 

You raise your brows altogether, looking up at him. “You wanna look at her?” 

Yoongi smirks. That dangerous tug of one corner of his mouth to the side. Your death, your undoing, the root of your submission to him. “I want to have her at my disposal.”

You gulp and Yoongi catches it, chuckling. Drifts his hand down your calf, to your heel, to the middle of your foot up to your toes. He plays with your pinky. You note the fact he changed the pronoun after you did. 

Your arousal returns at full speed.

“Did that make you wet?” Low, low is his voice—you feel it prodding at your core, thrumming vehemently. 

You blossom like your roses, thoughts put to the side. 

“I’ve been wet this entire time,” you say, zeroing in your gaze on the flick of dimness that whirls past his eyes. “For hours.” 

He makes a sound of pitiful nature. “Poor baby.” Furrows his brows and juts his bottom lip out, making you weak. Lets his hand roam on your thigh. “So you listened? You didn’t touch yourself?” 

You merely nod your head quickly. You were too distressed to give your body the pleasure it sought. Too busy flaring your lungs with the burn of smoke. And you respected his wish enough to keep your hands to yourself. 

Yoongi coos. “Good girl.” 

A flashback—your lips wrapping around your slick-coated finger, Yoongi praising you and… another pair of eyes watching. Chills spread across your arms, your stomach flipping. Thankfully, your shame is kept at bay. It relieves you. 

“Can I feel how wet you are?” 

A sweet, devious smile. “If you can manage to get to her.” 

You press your thighs tightly together. Yoongi looks at you as if you’ve greatly offended him and alas, he turns your chair so you face him head-on. Forces your thighs apart without any strain at all—and there you feel it, the embarrassment of fucking with him, once your pussy is at complete disposal to him just like he wanted. 

“If your pussy wasn’t so pretty, I’d make you regret your words,” he purrs, eyes fixed on your drenched flesh, hands pushing your thighs back until your knees are at level with your shoulders, folds parting with the movement, revealing more of you. Yoongi wets his mouth with his tongue. 

He thumbs your gleaming lips back and forth, collecting your essence, mesmerized by them. Looks at you intently. 

“It wouldn’t hurt to say sorry, though,” he says, narrowing his eyes at you. “Would it?” 

You grin at him. “Sorry, Yoongi.” 

He rubs your swollen clit in slow circles, still with his bedewed thumb, still with his eyes on you. You choke out a moan at the delight permeating through your being. “That’s not the proper way to apologize, now is it?”

You lean your pelvis into his touch, a natural body reaction unfolding. He disapproves. You scrunch your face. “What should I say?” 

Yoongi tuts. “I’m barely touching you and you already forgot your manners?” 

The only answer you emit is an uncouth whine. 

He shakes his head, putting pressure into his circles for a mere beat of time before he slaps your pussy curtly. A vivid spasm of pleasure fills you and you moan. “Needy girl. Don’t I take care of this pussy enough? What’s this behavior?” 

Another whine. A roll of your body, asking for more of his touch. “Spank her again.” 

A cock of his brow. Harsh, stern, evil. His hand remains propped on his thigh, shoulders hunched. “I didn’t hear you say please. You wanna be bad? You want me to make you cry?” 

You know just how much he’s capable of doing that. You shake your head ‘no’. You want gentleness, the kind you saw in his friend’s eyes—

You flutter your own shut to get rid of that thought. Take a deep breath. 

“Spank my pussy again, please.” 

Yoongi massages the apex of your thigh, dangerously close to your cunt, squeezing the flesh every once in a while. 

“Apologize first.” 

“You didn’t tell me how.” 

He clicks his tongue and pinches your folds and your clit between his fingers. You cry out, and then Yoongi gets up to his feet, leaning over you, propping his hand on the back of your chair. He begins to swiftly spank your pussy over and over again. You just jump at every contact, moaning, eyes flicked to his, never breaking apart. Taking it, taking it so well that Yoongi kisses you nastily, licking into your mouth. Then, he grunts. Fingers flat against your clit, he moves them from side to side. Roses, a myriad of them, flood your form with their freshness and dewiness, with their beauty and delectation and you shudder, you scream, you arch your back off of the backrest—

“Say, ‘I’m sorry, Yoongi. I’m such a bad girl that I deserve every spank and I’ll take it until it hurts.” 

Flabbergasted and horny beyond measure, your mouth falls agape. Your brain turns into mush, the pleasure paralyzing you, your sounds now loud and obscene, the roses in you flitting, growing and murmuring. Yoongi adds more pressure to your clit and your eyes sink back into your head, his darkness wafting over to you, seeping into your skin—now completely yours. 

You repeat after him—word for word. With a simper on your face that causes him to scowl at you, as if you dared to toy with your punishment he bestowed upon you. But then, a tongue prods the inside of his cheek and he laughs, taking a hold of his dominant role and making sure you know. He spanks your clit twice in a row, hands lifting to fondle your nipples. 

“Good,” he praises. “You like that, don’t you? Spanks on your pussy?”

You don’t like that softness. Like the personified thunder he is, it is the calm before the storm. It unnerves you, the expectation of what might come next and your disliking of it. Nonetheless, you brim with the craving to have his fingers inside of you. Your hole clenches at that and Yoongi notices, hissing under his breath. The language of the darkness rises on your tongue and you figure that if you let loose, you’ll get your wish fulfilled.

“Yeah, it feels so good—” He pinches your nipples between his knuckles and you mewl, your lashes shaking at the impact, another set of wetness coating your folds. “Please, fuck me with your fi—”

You don’t even get to finish your sentence. Yoongi plunges his middle finger into your heat, cursing at your tightness, at how slippery you are and at the delight of being filled at last, you knit your brows. With his other finger, he traces the outline of your puckered mouth, his breathing hard and ragged. 

“I’ll do anything for that pout of yours, fuck, no matter if you deserve it or not,” he utters, slipping the digit inside. Instinctively, you suck on it and only then does Yoongi begin to pump you slowly. “You just need a little roughness to be good, don’t you?” 

Dumbly, you nod, swirling your tongue around him, but a faint, silenced part of you begs for the gentleness that you know hides somewhere deep inside his chest, never once unfurled during such intimate times. 

You pay it no matter, too fucked out to think. 

When he adds a second finger into your heat, he does the same thing with his other hand. Two fingers in your cunt, two fingers in your mouth. And he fucks you with both until you gag and a light flashes in his eyes—then, he withdraws all together, leaning against the table, his bedewed fingers coming to rest at his hardened length in his pants. 

Roses, opening. Roses, sighing. 

You breathe heavily, needing to finish, needing to have him in your mouth—

“You liked being the center of attention today?” he husks, surveying your whole body, bent in half. 

There it is—the storm. Just what you expected. Cold sweat dribbles down your spine. And it is fear, what you feel, even when you refuse to admit it. Stiff, tempered fear that pervades each and every vein on your body, regarding being possibly degraded, being made feel dirty—regarding, even, tasting the dark wine of his wrath. 

Such a stark, sudden change. 

You don’t want this. You don’t want any of it.

Abruptly, an internal question comes and pokes you in the middle of your forehead.

Will you succumb to it or will you, with the wildly fresh darkness within you, fight against it?

You take a deep breath, and in with the air also follows, with the little rationality you have amidst the sensuality of your lecherous appetite, the decision to take a hold of it all. To take charge. Just like he did.

You shall prioritize yourself. Your feelings, your desires—your roses.

Your choice envelops your fear in bubble wrap. It doesn’t dissipate. And as much as it pains you, you take a mental note of that. 

“I did,” you spit out, angered by the fact you’re afraid of your boyfriend, and so you stand your ground. “It made me so fucking needy and I want more.” 

The relief that hits you almost causes you to weep and you lower your legs to the ground. Not wanting him to see the film of tears clouding your eyes, you avoid his gaze. Yoongi crosses his arms across his chest and clicks his tongue at you, disapproving. 

“Keep your legs where they belong.” 

“No.”

A lift of his brow. He crouches down to your level and cradles your face in his hand, forcing you to look at him. And there he sees, under the waterfall of your hair, your emotions at his disposal. Yoongi studies you, frowns at you and you want to sob, you want to go home. Shame slithers towards your spine like a ghost, and although it keeps a distance, you feel its presence prickling your back. You cover your cleavage. 

“Why are you crying?” Yoongi asks, a silky murmur, eyes flicking between yours. His fingers don’t caress your skin; they merely hold you firmly, making dents in the skin. 

You don’t trust that voice, dismayed by what might lie under. 

“Why did you do that to me?” you ask in return, and it’s a blue fire shooting out, engulfing the room in stifling heat. You catch a glimpse of its sparks in the dimness of his eyes, of how he’s momentarily stricken by it before it folds beneath the shadows.

“You want to get fucked by someone else?” 

A question for a question. 

You swallow down the lump in your throat, caused by your frustration. 

Your devotion to him didn’t let you go as far as to imagine being fucked by his friend while Yoongi watched, but the brief flash of it in your mind is enough incentive for the heat to spill into you, mingling with the darkness, turning you candescent, traveling through you until it finds your core—and there, it stays. There, it finds home. 

The pulse on your clit returns, filling you with abrupt energy. 

There’s something about him coming up with it that makes you unhinged, but you’re so utterly sick of the instability of your feelings. You need it to stop.

“And what if I do?” you retort. “What will you do?” 

Truthfulness, at last.

Yoongi takes in a sharp inhale of breath, and that is the only reaction you receive from him. Nothing else on his face flickers; no wrath, no sliver of jealousy, not one thing. You stare at an empty canvas, ready for you to paint on. And you simply decide that you want to start. 

You push his hand away from your face. Stand up to your feet. But the hardened look he gives you inclines you to sit back down. 

You fight against it. 

Untangling the knot on your robe, you let him see your bare femininity. The perkiness of your breasts, the long dip of your stomach that he likes to pepper kisses on. Yes, you’re aiming for his weakness. 

And you decide to repeat history. 

You reach your hand down, lower and lower while he stares you down, and you collect your glimmering essence. Sinking your finger into your mouth, you make a show of rolling your eyes back and moaning faintly, softly. Your other hand, in the meantime, unbuttons his pants. 

The breath Yoongi inhaled hitches in his throat. 

“Is this not evidence enough?” you purr, dragging down his zipper. “How else am I supposed to show you?” 

You pull his manhood out as you suck on your finger, all while maintaining eye contact. You don’t touch him beyond that. In fact, you withdraw your hand altogether. 

And then, you collect your essence again. 

This time, you smear it across his bottom lip. Yoongi lets you. Your heart thuds, threatening to jump out of your chest. 

“Your actions during the video call told me everything,” you whisper, catching the sliver of wooziness scattering along his narrowed eyes. “And I think you liked it more than me—the thought of sharing me. You can’t hide it. Not when I saw it.” 

Yoongi growls. Then, he surprises you. 

He parts his lips for you. 

And the contact of the pad of your finger with his wet tongue coaxes a string of your dewiness to drip down the side of your thigh. You moan for him. Relieved, fucked up, woozy just the same. Finally, finally, finally. 

You’re in charge. And it feels divine. 

His length twitches against the fabric of his T-shirt. Long, hard, drooling. Such a delight for you—and so you continue. 

“I also think it made you hard. Not just because you called me when I was touching myself, but because your friend was right there beside you,” you purr, your voice a seductive sound of silk—leading him to wrap his lips around your digit. You moan for him, showing him how much you like that. “Isn’t that right, baby?” Your walls clench at the pet name, solely due to the fact that these soft terms of endearment have always been addressed to you, never the other way around. It thrills you. “I’d always be devoted to you, even if he fucked me. I’d look at you the entire time. If that’s what you want. I had a different idea, but yours is just—” you pause, and again you make a show of sighing and rolling your eyes back, “better.” 

A straight hit to his core. A glee for you. 

But you don’t realize how much you fucked up until Yoongi grips your waist and the hold hurts enough that you wince. 

And then—then he manhandles you. 

Lifting you and laying you down on the table, Yoongi spreads your legs. Watches you drip, watches as the satiny fabric follows the movement of your limbs and reveals you in all your entirety. He pulls you closer to him with a sharp tug until you collide with the tops of his thighs. Bends over you. Hovers his lips above yours. You expect him to kiss you—he even angles his head and rubs the side of his nose against yours—but he never does. 

He only leaves you waiting. Leaves you submitted to your empty expectations, taking charge, taking his control back from you. You shiver in anticipation, reaching for him, however he pins your hands down on either side of you. An angel in a rose garden. 

Yoongi chuckles, darkly, his teeth glinting in the yellow light. You fight against his hold, hips rolling against the underside of his length, beckoning him to do something, anything. You merely manage to prolong the thunder of his laughter. 

“One cock isn’t enough for her, so baby wants two,” he spits. That smirk, the crinkles around his eyes—he’s enjoying this. The hint of degradation doesn’t reflect what’s swarming inside of him, doesn’t reflect the face of pleasure coursing down his body. You smile and he scoffs. “I have enough friends for you to choose from in case you want more. I think you’d be stellar at taking three cocks. Four, even, huh? Would you have enough then? One in your tight little virgin ass, two in your cunt, one down your throat?” 

You gulp, frozen, eyes widening. 

Yoongi bites his shiny lips, nudging the tip of his nose against yours. Kisses you once. Begins to rock his hips, his length sliding across your wet fleshiness. The moan that escapes your throat trembles with each delicious motion. 

“You watch too much porn, honey,” he coos, giving you tiny kisses on the mouth. “I’d kill anyone who would come near this pussy. And I’d kill Jungkook, too, if he so much as glanced at her.” 

So that’s his name. You mewl, knitting your brows. That’s his pretty name. The entirety of your form shivers at the discovery, at the pleasure given to your throbbing clit. 

Yoongi pulls back, setting your hands free. 

You prop your elbows on the table, pouting. Yoongi grasps his length, spreads his arousal and begins to jerk himself off. 

“You’re not fucking Jungkook. You’re mine.” He groans, squeezing his tip; your hole clenches. “Rub your clit.” 

Like him, you spread your arousal on your seashell, the arousal long caused by his presence and now the mention of his name—the reason behind your frustration and his, the reason why you’re spread on the dining table, why your boyfriend is hard. You rub your clit from side to side, amused. 

“No,” Yoongi disapproves, knowing you do the motion when you want to prolong the build-up. “Circles. Make yourself come.” 

You change direction, obeying him. A sly grin blossoms on your lips, dark eyes looking up into his, permeating them, permeating into his soul. You pick up the pace, moaning into your expression of elation. 

“Jungkook is such a pretty name,” you provoke and you heighten your sounds in volume and intensity just to piss him off, just to have your way. 

A grunt escapes him, matching your pace. He wraps his fingers around your throat and squeezes. You hum. 

“A pretty name to moan in my opinion.” A layer of sweat coats your body. Yoongi grasps your jawline firmly and your satisfied laughter inches you closer to your orgasm. You feel the hot flashes, roses surrounding you—its tender petals grazing your feverish skin. You give in, watching Yoongi do the same, his mouth in a tight line, hissing and sizzling, an open fire, an open fire you want to be radiated by, burned whole by. “Just imagine him here, watching us. Oh my god, imagine him knowing he’s the reason why you and I are doing this.” 

Yoongi has had enough. 

He pushes you down harshly. Fills your hole to the hilt without letting you adjust, observing himself disappearing inside of you and begins to pound you into the table. The sound of skin slapping, the hard and quick strokes, the ravaged grunts he lets out, the fast change—it all takes your breath away, so much that you can’t, in fact, breathe. He grabs your face and makes you look at him. The dead of the night captured in his features, you absorb it, whining like the brat you are onto his mouth, mingling into your noises your approval, your yes’. 

Swallowing it, he kisses you, keeping his eyes open. “He could never fuck you like this.” 

You laugh. He swallows that, too, moaning. “What if he could?” 

He taps you on the cheek, a warning, giving you an exceptionally hard stroke that causes you to scream. He pauses. Does it again. Over and over—and your screams echo across the room, your own soul slipping out of your body. Petals flutter against you and you’re done for, hanging off the edge. You’re close, so terribly close. Your eyesight blurs and Yoongi pulls out entirely and rams into you. Again and again, abusing your cervix. 

You moan his name, gone—entirely gone. 

“Yes, moan my name like that. Just mine,” he mutters. “Who’s fucking you this good? Who’s gonna make you come?” 

He rams into you more rapidly than before. Your senses leave you until all that you know is Yoongi. His name, his scent, the wholeness of the night encompassing him. 

“You, Yoongi, you. Fuck, I—”

Yoongi laughs maniacally. “Yes, that’s right. That’s my good girl.” 

He rolls his hips, slowing down the coming of your orgasm, owning you. Lets your senses come back to you momentarily. You swallow, your throat dry and you blink, dazed still. Yoongi kisses you, giving you all that he took from you. 

“Who’s only capable of fucking you like this, honey, hm?” he asks, his voice tender and sing-song. “My pretty honey, so fucked out. So out of it.” 

You whine and you don’t control what comes out of you, your body answering for you. “You, Yoongi. You’re fucking me so—so good. I can’t—fuck. You’re the only one.” 

He smiles down at you fondly, kissing your nose, then your lips, parting your mouth and swirling his tongue around yours briefly. Then he withdraws, begins to fuck you again, slowly, reaching to the side for something. 

Once you see his phone in his hand, your heart stops. And when he puts the device to his ear, your throat dries up even more. You suddenly become aware of the silence all around, especially in your chest. You can’t breathe, you can’t blink—

Yoongi jackhammers into you, purposefully luring your loud noises out of you. “My girlfriend wants to fuck you.” 

You gasp, squeezing your eyes shut, the suddenness, the quickness of pleasure you haven’t yet felt piercing you. Fuck hot flashes and petals, you feel a heavy urge of your orgasm closing down on you. 

“She’s so desperate for you, even when I’m fucking the life out of her.” 

You flutter your eyes open to see Yoongi surveying you. You scrunch your face—so close, so fucking close—and then he puts the phone to your ear. Breathing, hard, ragged breathing fills all of your senses and you come. 

It’s an explosion. Roses bursting, their dew soaking you and Yoongi whole and you exit. You exit out of this situation, this world, this universe while your soul remains here with them. Vibrancy, colors so beautiful and sensations so vivid, ardent and fierce. You don’t know what it is you’re feeling or where you are. That is, until Yoongi’s voice yanks you back to planet Earth, back into this world, this situation—back to them. 

“In fact, she just came for you. Squirted.” 

You sob. Overstimulated, rhapsodic, but effulgent. Yes, you emit light and glow. You can see it in Yoongi’s softened eyes. 

“Think about it. No pressure. Just know she won’t shut up about you. I recall her saying your name would be pretty to moan while she played with her pussy. I think it’s only right you fuck it out of her.” 

With that, he hangs up. 

You brim with so many emotions that it numbs you. Happy tears flow out of your tear ducts—and happily, endearingly, Yoongi chortles. You don’t even feel humiliation or shame. On the contrary, you’re ready to come again. 

Yoongi kisses you and the sounds he slips into your mouth divulge how happy he is about this, how pleased he is with himself. 

You pout, burning your eyesight into his. He begins to rut into you. 

“What, you’re not even gonna thank me?” he says, grinning, as if he wasn’t fucking you at all, as if you two were still sitting at the dinner table, conversing. 

You stammer, head empty, silencing yourself and trying again. “What—what made you change your mind?” 

Yoongi places open-mouthed, wet kisses along the bone of your jaw, and there he seals his answer. “I made up my mind the moment you admitted you wanted to be fucked by him, but you wouldn’t shut up about him. I wanted to hear you babble for me. About me. I just had to mess you up to get to that point.” 

You mewl, running your hands through his sweat-slicked hair. Like a cat, he perks up to your touch, lifting his head, angling it. He kisses you, deeply. Kisses your relief. 

“Where are your manners, hm?” he whispers onto your mouth, giving you hard strokes that erase your vocabulary. You want to make him come and so you push against his thrusts, but to no avail. The intensity won’t allow you. 

“Thank you, Yoongi,” you murmur, cradling his face, pecking him, giving him the softest eyes you could muster so you can show him how much it means to you. 

He approves of your effort on bettering your manners and to reward you, he lifts you up and fucks you in the air. Your breasts bounce against the material of his T-shirt, stimulating you and he alters between jackhammering into you and sliding you up and down on his length. Your pussy squelches around his girth, tightening and Yoongi—

Yoongi loses his mind. 

And it’s him who begins to babble when you snap your hips down on him in circles. 

“Just like that, honey, oh fuck. So good, so good for me.” 

He takes it until his sounds grow in volume and you focus so much on his pleasure that you forget about yours. 

But you don’t let him take charge. 

“Let me fuck you, please, Yoongi. I wanna make you come.” 

Just like you, he’s out of it and because of that, because you asked so nicely, he lets you. 

His chest heaves, staccatos of his choked out breaths sail through the room and you can see it on his face that he’s close. Brows furrowed, bottom lip bleeding due to the way he bites hard on it, the way his mouth pops open and his eyes flutter closed. 

You hold onto his neck with your dear life. 

“Look at me,” you demand and swirl your hips in slow circles around his tip. “I want you to look at me when you come.” 

You’re so stunned that he allows you to be in charge, even more when he truly does open his eyes and pierces his gaze into yours. 

“I need to pull out,” he breathes, but you shake your head, snapping your hips down on him harshly.

“No, I want your cum in me. And I want it to be inside of me when Jungkook fucks me.” 

Yoongi grunts and this is it for him. His cock twitches in you, over and over again and then you feel it—the hot, thick ropes of his cum stuffing you full. You’re so mesmerized by the feeling, by the blissfulness evident on his face, by the smoothness between his brows at last that you can’t even milk him dry. You’re frozen, stupefied by his beauty, by his personal rapture and you want to feel it in unity with him. You kiss him. 

It’s him who fucks him cum into you, burying it deep, moaning into your lip lock. 

It’s him who lays you down to your original position and briefly, feebly licks the sheen on your spread lips before devouring your clit. 

It’s him who gives you the fastest orgasm of your life. 

And it’s him who tells you—in the shower—the story of how he almost beat up Jungkook black and blue once he heard him say how pretty you are.

And it’s you who checks up on him. 

“You sure you’re okay with this?” 

You’re stroking his hair in the bed, the duvet heavy and warm around your body and his, the night overflowing into morning—Yoongi, too. 

He’s falling asleep, but still conscious, still here with you, purring. 

“I wouldn’t be waking him up in the middle of the night if I wasn’t,” he whispers, opening his eyes to look at you, to see you enveloped in the extra blanket of the dawn’s rosy light—glowing, throwing the sun off of its throne. “Poor guy just got out of the military and you’ve already rocked his world.” 

You smile, fondly, thumb caressing his temple. Yoongi hums in appreciation. 

“I’m happy for him he’s getting pussy—one that’s mine. Before he enlisted, he spent all his time painting and getting drunk alone,” he pauses in a thought, blinking at the light. “You still want this?” 

You nod, settling into his chest. Yoongi pulls you closer, tucking the duvet into the lines of your form, bringing in comfort and sleepiness. 

“I’ll make sure you have the time of your life. I’ll be here the whole time, taking care of you,” he promises against your hair and you squeeze him. 

“He hasn’t said yes, though. He could turn me down.” 

“I’ve seen the way he looked at you. You have nothing to fear. He’ll come to you like a puppy.” 

Yoongi sinks the promise onto the plane of your forehead and holds you as you drift to sleep. Happy, relieved, steamed off of all the negative things you went through. It evaporates into the dawn—far, far away from you. 

© 2024 hoseoksluna, all rights reserved.

BACK to masterlist / READ part two 

[7ndipity]

Shy

Yoongi x Reader

Summary: You’re desperately craving your boyfriend's attention, but are too shy to ask for it outright. Luckily, Yoongi knows what you want anyway.

Word Count: 2.1k

Warnings: +18 mdni, smut, swearing, unprotected sex(don’t do this pls), soft dom-ish Yoongi, brief mentions of insecurities, not proofread

A/N: Thanks @theuselessdaydreamingidiot for requesting this! I had so much writing this one, I hope you like it!

Masterlist

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He had to be doing this on purpose.

Normally, Yoongi could read you like a book, whether that was knowing whether you’d had a particularly rough day or just what food you were craving, all you had to do was look at him and he would know what you wanted.

Which was why his current lack of response to your attempts to gain his attention was so frustrating.

The two of you hadn’t been able to see each other all week due to your work schedules, and to say you were starting to go a little crazy was an understatement. As soon as you got to his place, all you had been able to think about was jumping his bones. Normally, you didn’t consider yourself a particularly horny person, but being without your boyfriend for any extended amount of time definitely tended to make you extra needy.

It didn’t help that your boyfriend in question somehow managed to look so fucking hot all. the. time. Even the simple sweatpants and white tee combo he was wearing was enough to make you clench your thighs together with need in your current state.

You’d tried your best to ignore it through dinner, but once the two of you had cozied up together on the couch to watch an episode of a drama, you couldn’t take it anymore. You were hyper aware of the warmth radiating off of his body, his arm looped loosely around your waist, the scent of his cologne filling your senses and drawing you closer, tucking your face against his neck as the ache in your core grew stronger.

Fuck you wanted him so bad.

Usually, all you needed to do was just give a little hint that you were in the mood to Yoongi and he would take the lead for you, asking in a low voice if you wanted to make each other feel good, an offer that you always readily agreed to.

But tonight, nothing seemed to catch his attention.

You let your fingers dance over his skin, tracing little patterns over his arm, up his bicep to his shoulder and back again, trying to elicit a response from him, but all he’d done was tighten his other arm around your waist ever so slightly.

Deciding to try being a bit more direct, you shifted around in his hold, pressing teasing little kisses along the underside of his jaw, knowing it was one of his weak spots, hoping he would finally catch on to hint at what you wanted.

Yoongi hummed appreciatively, but his attention was still fully locked on the screen in front of you, relaxing further into the couch.

You drew back slowly, frowning in frustration as you studied his side profile.

Maybe he was just really interested in the show, maybe he wasn’t in the mood, you weren’t sure, but you felt too shy and awkward to ask outright.

Giving up, you slipped out from under his arm and stood up.

“Where’re you going?” He asked, finally looking up at you with a small frown.

“I’m tired, I think I’m just gonna go on to bed.” You lied.

“Are you sure?” He asked with a slight pout. “You want me to come with you?”

Yes please! “No, you stay and finish the show.” You pecked his cheek. “G’night, Baby.”

You quickly made your way down the hall to his room, not bothering with a light as you climbed into bed, curling onto your side away from the door, staring at the wall in frustration.

You don’t know why you hadn’t just said yes when he’d offered to come with you, maybe then he would’ve caught on if you’d tried again? Or maybe he was intentionally ignoring you as a way to tease you for your shyness with him.

You don’t know why you always felt so shy to initiate anything sexual with Yoongi, it wasn’t like your relationship was particularly new or anything, but everytime you even thought about saying the same things that Yoongi said to you, they sounded so awkward and unsexy, not at all like when he said them. When he said them, you felt your stomach drop in the best way, your knees turning to jelly as your heart rate picked up. In just a few words, he could completely turn you to putty in his hands, a skill you desperately wished you possessed at times like this. Instead you were laying in bed alone and irritated.

No more than five minutes had passed before you heard the bedroom door behind you open,

Yoongi’s footsteps padding softly across the carpeted room to the bed.

You heard him chuckle softly to himself before the mattress dipped under his weight, quietly sliding under the covers and shifting over till he was pressed against your back, draping an arm over your waist.

“Babe? Are you asleep?” He asked softly.

“ ‘m trying to.” You grumbled, brushing his arm off of you. “I thought you were watching your show?”

“I missed you too much.” He said, nuzzling his face in your hair. “It’s no fun without you.”

You didn’t respond, but he could sense you soured mood

“I’m sorry baby. Was I not giving enough attention earlier?” He wound his arm around your waist again, pulling you close as his lips trailed along your neck and shoulder, mirroring your actions from earlier.

You squirmed slightly against him, not wanting to cave so easily, but his wandering hands and warm breath against your skin flooded your core with arousal, your breath hitching and coming out unsteady.

“Let me make it up to you.” He murmured against your skin, his hand making its way under your shirt, fingers brushing over where your skin disappeared under the material of your sleep shorts.

Fuck, you were so weak for him.

“Please.” You breathed, arching closer to him.

You made a soft noise, something between a whimper and his name as he continued to leave a trail of kisses against the flushed skin of your neck as his fingers slipped under the waistband, creeping lower till they brushed your pubic bone, just shy of where you needed him.

You squirmed in his gentle hold, bordering on desperation now.

“Yoongi,” You pleaded. “Please.” You needed him, and you weren’t sure how much longer your sanity could hold out against his teasing touches.

“I got you, baby,” He assured you softly, retracting his hand. “I’ll take care of you.”

He gently rolled you over, caressing your face before bringing his lips to yours in a tender kiss.

You sighed in relief, looping your arms around his neck to keep him close as he shifted to hover over you, settling between your legs that fell open to accommodate him.

His grip on your waist tightened in surprise as your tongue delved into his mouth, swallowing down the sweet, almost inaudible groan that left him as your wet muscle tangled with his own.

God, you were addicted to the taste of him, light and sweet with a faint bitterness of the wine you’d drank at dinner.

His fingers dug into your thighs, dimpling the flesh as he ground his hips against yours, pressing his growing erection against your clothed core, your arousal soaking through the material of your shorts and making them stick to you slightly.

You don’t know when he removed his sweats, all you were aware of was his fingers hooking in the waistband of your shorts, tugging them down as you lifted your hips to help him remove them, leaving you both bare from the waist down.

“My sweet baby.” He hummed, leaving another trail of wet kisses down your throat as he brushed two fingers through your slick folds, making you hiss as he teased your throbbing clit.

“Fuck Yoongi, please!” You begged. You had lost all patience, shamelessly bucking against his hand to any sort of relief, and in turn breaking any resistance he held.

As weak as you might have been for Yoongi, he was even more so for you, willing to give you anything you wanted and more. You could ask him for the moon and he would find a way to technically give it to you.

Removing his fingers, he shifted position to align the tip of his cock with your entrance. You were so wet and needy already, he slipped into you easily without any prep, sinking in all the way to the hilt in one go, making your eyes roll back in pleasure at finally being filled.

“Fuck, you feel so good, Angel.” He groaned, watching the way your hungry cunt swallowed him so eagerly. He pulled back, rolling his hips into yours slowly, letting you feel every inch and vein of his cock as it dragged against your walls.

“Fuck Yoongi, faster, please.” You practically mewled, clinging to his shoulders.

It was almost embarrassing, how reactive you were, how fast you fell apart for him, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care, all you wanted was for Yoongi to fuck you properly.

The desperation in your voice sent a shot of electricity straight through Yoongi, making his cock twitch inside you as he immediately picked up the pace, plunging back into you quickly and setting a pace that had your toes curling.

His arms were braced against the mattress on either side of you, caging you in while your own hands clutched feebly at his back, nails scraping against his skin, leaving bright red lines and crescent marks in their wake.

Yoongi buried his face in your neck, groaning out with nearly every thrust, not bothering to try and muffle them as he knew they only spurred you further on as well, making you clench and spasm around him.

“F-fuck, Yoongi! I-I‘m close!” You managed to whine out,

“I know, baby, it’s okay.” Yoongi panted, kissing your neck. “Let go, I’ve got you.”

A few more thrusts of Yoongi’s hips were all that it took to tip you over the edge, a sharp ringing filling your ears as your high crashed over you, flooding your senses and causing your muscles to contract and spasm in bliss.

Yoongi followed almost immediately after you, spilling deep inside you with a broken groan, body going stiff over yours as he shuddered through the aftershocks.

He half collapsed on top of you, rolling to the side to avoid crushing you as you both lay there, chests heaving as you tried to catch your breath.

“Feel better?” He asked breathlessly.

“Yeah,” You replied weakly. “Thank you.”

“Anytime.” He grinned, leaning up to kiss your cheek. “Though, you know, if you wanted sex, you could just ask. You don’t have to keep teasing me till I say something.”

“So you were paying attention earlier!” You exclaimed, sitting up to look at him. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I was waiting to see if you would say something first,” He said, sitting up as well. “But then you went off to sulk instead.”

“I wasn’t sulking.” You pouted.

“Yes you were.” He smiled softly, wrapping his arms around you. “What I want to know though is why? Why won’t you ever initiate sex with me directly? You always kinda dance around it till I make the first move.” He looked down at you curiously.

“I don’t know.” You looked down, feeling your face heat up. “I guess I just feel kinda shy.”

Yoongi let out a short burst of laughter.

“Babe, you are one of the least shy people I’ve ever met!” He laughed. “I’ve seen you make friends in the middle of the grocery store after having a full blown debate with someone over the validity of skim milk!”

“That’s different! This is you and me, it’s feels embarrassing!” You buried your face in his chest, earning another chuckle from him. “What am I supposed to do, just jump you as soon as you walk in the door and say 'I need you in me or I’ll die'?”

“I mean, that would be really hot,” He smirked, earning a weak smack from you. “But seriously, you don’t need to feel embarrassed with me. Anytime you’re in the mood, just tell me. Hell, we could even make up a codeword if that makes you feel better.” He offered.

“What, like ‘Pineapple’?” You asked, incredulously.

“Sure, if that’s what you want. As of now, Pineapple means sex.” He announced, making you burst into a fit of laughter of your own.

“You’re insane!” You giggled.

“Only for you.” He said with a grin. “I mean it though, I want you to feel comfortable talking to me about stuff like this.”

You nodded, letting you head rest back against his chest.

“Thank you.” You said. “For not making fun of me.”

“I would never.” He said seriously, pressing a kiss to your temple. “Love you.”

“Love you too.”

You drifted off to the sound of Yoongi’s heartbeat, completely and utterly content.

You did, however, wake up the next morning to several containers of fresh pineapple in the refridgerator.

“You think you’re funny, don’t you?”

“I think I’m hillarious.”

Taglist: @sopebubbles-replies @btsw1fe @this-must-be-my-tardis @whitefoxgirl @bethanysnow @coffeedepressionsoup @main-bangtansmauyeondan @feminympho @a-gayish-unicorn @dfqcsqueen @mother2monsters @captainorangegoose @k4ngelz

[jeonjcngkook]

clandestine | myg (m) teaser

pairing: gangleader!yoongi x f!reader

genre(s)&au(s): gang au, bitch better have my money or i'll fuck ur girl au, angst, pwp, smut

rating: 18+

word count: teaser - 405

warning(s)&smut warning(s): strong language, mentions of weapons, threats of murder

summary: bloodthirsty and dangerous, yoongi wont stop until he gets what he is rightful owed. and if you're on offer, then he just cant say no to that.

banner: @kth1 | @kth1fics

note: hehehe...

“Sir, over here,” you overhear someone whisper — probably having heard the snoring from above you.

The sound of heavy duty combat boots picking up pace and heading straight in your direction makes you still. You don’t move an inch in fear of getting caught, placing a hand over your mouth to keep your breathing at bay.

From underneath the bed, you count five pairs of boots. They move slowly around the bed surrounding you in a circle. Two of them make their way to the side of the bed where Hee-won lies and another two direct themselves to your side of the bed, vanishing behind the comforter that you had pulled down earlier.

The remaining body doesn’t move from the bottom of the bed. Instead, you watch on as he pulls out the chair from underneath the vanity; the scraping of the chair legs against the floor is like nails on a chalkboard causing you to hiss at the sound.

He sits down in the chair and spreads his legs too casually for someone who is breaking into an apartment which can only mean he has done this many times in the past. He’s calculated and smart — knows how to play the game.

The room is silent.

Nobody talks and nobody moves.

Your eyes frantically dart back and forth between their legs, watching for any movement…but nothing. The sound of a large heavy bag being dropped to the floor makes you jump in terror, your body hitting the framing of the bed.

Someone had to have heard that…

Your body chills at the thought of being caught; who knows what awaits you outside of your hiding spot. Who knows what these men are capable of.

You’re able to make out someone shushing those around him and you watch as the man who is sitting in the chair eventually gets up and walks over to the side of the bed to join the other two where Hee-won lays.

One of the men bends down in your peripheral vision as his leather gloves starts to unzip the bag, emptying the contents all over the floor. The sound of metal on metal hitting against each other is deafening in the small bedroom. You watch as guns, knives and an array of other weaponry is scattered in a small pile on the floor.

“Where is she?” You hear who you presume to be the leader of the home invasion ask. “She’s supposed to be here. I swear if this fucker has touched her, I’ll bury him myself.”

[kooksbunnnn]

SO HIM- MIN YOONGI

pic ctto

masterlist

Pairing: idol!yoongi × female reader

Warnings: none. It's fluff. Slightly suggestive in the beginning. You miss him. Making out.

Words: 1.2k words

_______________________________

At this point, you couldn't even smell him in your bed anymore. Him being cooped up in his studio has its own pros and cons. Pros being the new mind blowing songs he would produce for his fans which, ofcourse, includes you too, whereas the cons, you not being able to see him for days considering both of your busy schedules and him generally sleeping in the genius lab.

Motivation and inspiration can make a person workoholic, and Min Yoongi is an example of that. It's one of those nights where he would be overworking himself, and you know you would have to sleep without cuddling him or kissing him good night for the 4th time this week.

You missed your boyfriend so much.

You can't even remember when was the last time you felt him, like actually felt him, over you, behind you, beside you, beneath you, inside you.

Oh, you wanna feel him inside you so bad, the reminder of that stretch makes your stomach swirl.

You step into your room mindlessly, scrolling through your phone when a notification pops on your upper screen.

Catto: you up?

Seeing his text, you stop in the way to your bedroom. He rarely texts from work, and it makes your eyebrows furrow with concern when he pops up in your notification bar at 11:47 pm.

You: yes baby. All okay?

You wait for him to reply, which comes almost in 3 seconds. The three dots quickly turning into a message, saying,

Catto: i wanna see you doll, haven't seen you in ages, AND bumping in hallways doesn't count, baby. I miss you, sm :(

You: i miss you toooo baby:(((

Catto: :((((((((

You read his message and feel your bottom lip jut out due to his cuteness. You sigh sadly when you look at your empty bed covered with cold sheets along with his shirt lying on his side along with the pillow he uses.

Let's call it emotional support.

You want to visit him so bad, but the comeback is close, and you dont want to disturb him. Your mom always used to tell you, a relationship works only if you understand the difference between important things and priorities, responsibilities and duties, you both would need to understand what the other needs to prioritize at the moment.

So when you met Yoongi, you understood why your mom always said that. You know right now what priority and responsibilities are, so it doesn't make you insecure about the fact that you are also one of the most important things in his life. So, no matter how much you both miss each other, you can't just expect him to keep his job, his passion, the need of the moment, aside for a moment together.

Just like he doesn't expect you to keep your job and passion aside, he knows how important it is for you and vice versa.

You spend the next ten to fifteen minutes getting comfortable on your side of the bed. Picking up the book you left with a bookmark on the night table. But before you could pick it up, your phone rings.

You see Yoongi's picture smiling at you, but then your eyes focus on the time on the top left corner of your phone. It's 20 minutes past midnight. Concerned, you answer the call.

"Baby, everything okay?" You ask as soon as you pick up.

"Come downstairs, I brought chicken."

"What- why are you not coming upstairs?" You ask already halfway out of the bed, you hear him ruffling the polybags grumbling something about sauce so you run towards the kitchen to pick up his favorite hot sauce from the counter.

"I can't, babe. I have to return to the studio. Jungkookie's waiting. Moreover, if I come upstairs, I will end up sleeping the night and then regret it the next morning. You know? " He tells you, and you understand his worry, you have seen him regret a tiny 2 hour nap at his studio, resulting in a grumpy and irritated look on his face the whole day.

He also indirectly signals to you that he can't stay for long, so you rush down faster.

Its not like you dont want him to relax but you know he will just end up blaming himself up for it the next day fully convinced it was his mistake to relax when he needed to work no matter how much you try to calm him down.

Yes. Speaking from experience.

"Coming, bubs." You hang up and step into the elevator after checking the door, hands filled with a hot sauce bottle and two water bottles. You smile when the elevator finally reaches the ground floor. The excitement feels like the time you two were dating, sneaking around, hiding from people, and the staff as well.

It's funny how Bang pd was the one to find out about you both before all the boys did. That day, you realized that Jin DOES NOT LIKE being left out on important stuff.

When you spot his car, you sprint towards it with a big smile. The windows are slightly tinted(security purposes), making you unable to see the smile that comes on his face after he spots you. You quickly open the door impatiently, and your smile widens more. He is wearing that white shirt of his, which makes you wanna worship the man, unbuttoned up to the second button, hair fluffed up due to running of his fingers multiple times.

You sigh happily when he pulls you in his arms as soon as you get into the car, not even caring about the car door still being slightly ajar.

"I missed you." His voice coming out muffled due to your hair.

"I missed you too, baby." You chuckle as you lean back, breaking the hug to close the door properly. Turning back you see that he has his head resting upon the seat while he looks at you with the prettiest smile you've ever seen.

Fuck, you love this man.

Leaning in again, he cups your cheek and kisses you, slow and soft, slowly sneaking his tongue into it. His hand places itself on your neck, and the other one reaches for your waist. Pulling you on top of him.

You get comfortable on his lap, kissing him as if he was water, and you just woke up thirsty at 3 in the night. Oh, you definitely were thirsty for him.

You felt so happy in the kiss you never wanted it to end. Fisting the white shirt in one hand as you let the other explore his fluffy and long hair. Some minutes later, he tries to pull back, but you dont let him, whining a 'no' with furrowed yet concentrated eyebrows, making him chuckles in the middle of your kiss.

"Baby the chicken?" He tells you with a laugh, shoulders bouncing with that pretty laugh of his. You watch his gummy smile with a silly little smile on your face as well.

You missed this so much. He raises his eyebrow once again when you flick the strand of hair sitting prettily over his forehead, tracing his nose bridge almost like in a trance.

"Well?" He asks again, and you then realize you zoned out. It's been 3 days since you had talked to him properly, and it would be an understatement to just say you missed him.

Smiling, you lean in for a quick peck once again, making him hum, in that deep voice of his. It reaches within you and somehow gives you so much comfort that you feel overwhelmed.

Not to sound overdramatic, but he makes you feel still, mentally, unlike the frantic thoughts that were always running around in your head when you were away from him.

He is just so perfect. So gorgeous, so calming, so 'him'.

You nod with a wide smile, booping his pretty nose,

"Okay baby, lets eat."

____________________________________

[yoonlattesworld]

Escapism-MYG

Synopsis: how naive were you to think you found the one when it was so obvious that he was making a fool of you. But you weren't gonna sit around and mope while he's having fun with your so called best friend. Good thing a certain someone was more than happy to help you out. And it made you wonder that if you had chosen him since the very beginning, would you have not gotten hurt?

Genre/ warnings: romance, angst, smut, raw sex, cheating, getting revenge on douche ex, misogyny,ex's enemy au, mob boss yoongi, making out, grinding, body worshipping, panty sniffing,oral(f receiving) vagina sniffing,love making.

Mob boss yoongi x reader

Yoongi masterlist

Main masterlist

Author's pov

A little context if you care to listen

I found myself in a shit position

"we need to talk"

All the excitement that you had about finally having a date with your loving boyfriend after weeks, drained the moment those words left his lips.

Although you did sense that something was wrong the moment he showed up at your house rather than the designated meeting spot which was the restaurant in which you had your first date. Still, you didn't let yourself think about negative thoughts as you gave him a nod with a small smile.

He didn't return the smile.

You followed him to your living room all ready and dressed up for the date night. A little part of you still thinking that you both would be going to the restaurant as planned after the talk.

How naive.

"what's up?" you hoped the nervousnsess didn't showed in your voice as you sat on the other end of the couch now suddenly aware of the huge distance between you both "jihyeok?-" "it was a mistake" now along with nervousnsess you were also feeling very confused as you looked at him with raised eyebrows. "what was a mistake?" your gut feeling told you that you wouldn't like the answer.

And it was right.

"look" he sighed rubbing his face with his hands with a tight jaw as you silently looked at him with a sick feeling bubbling inside you "can you please tell me what did you do?-" "i-i slept with Ina" for a second your face went blank. Truly because your brain hadn't registered his words because they didn't make any sense. Him, your boyfriend having sex with your best friend ina-

No words came out of your mouth as you slowly processed the situation. Your face still blank and lips still parted as you looked down at your hands folded on your lap.

Everything he said next came out blurry because the only thing which was running inside your brain was him, your boyfriend of 2 years cheating on you with your best friend of 10 years. The one you met when you were 14 and the one who stayed by your side with every step of life.

"I was drunk-" excuse "it was an accident-" excuse "she threw herself on me-" more excuses "you were always busy and she was just there-" god you were so tired of hearing his voice "and it was your fault too, if you weren't so busy-" "can you shut your mouth? I don't really want to hear your voice" his eyes widened in surprise when your blank ones met his. The audacity is so amusing.

You stood up, dusting off the imaginary dust off your dress before looking at him. He was still frozen with his mouth agape. You scoffed rolling your eyes as you looked away from him. God you can't believe it. How did you waste two years of your life with this piece of shit?

A part of you wanted to hear him. Just to see if he feels a little bit of regret for his actions. But another part of you tells you there is no use. He has already blamed you like it was your fault he had to cheat so what's the use of hearing his useless words?

"get out" if he looked surprised before then you don't know what he's feeling right now as he looked at you with his mouth ajar "w-what-" guess he expected you to act differently. You sighed rubbing your forehead at the forming headache. How in the world can someone be so stupid? Now that you think about it, the signs were so clear.

"jihyeok" he looked at you with what you recognised as hope. Stupid, so stupid. "get out of my house" you watched the hope shatter into small pieces just like your heart did. Instead, his jaw tightened and his eyes started showing anger as he stood up as well "what? You're just gonna throw 2 years away over a single mistake?" he has to be joking. Shaking your head you crossed your arms over your chest, tilting your chin up "do you really want to do this right now?" it was a small warning. But you forgot he was stupid enough to not understand.

He scoffed shoving his hands in his pockets as he stared at you smugly "don't pretend like I'm the only one at fault y/n. You're as much guilty as I am. It was just an accident and if you weren't always so busy then it wouldn't have happened-" "your dick went inside her by accident? I didn't know something like that can happen by accident, ji. What? Did you slipped or something?" his face redenned as he stuttered to find another excuse but you didn't let him continue.

"so you slept with my friend behind my back by accident because I was busy trying to make money to support your dreams. You shouldn't skip the important part baby" you stared at him with disappointment while your nails dug in your arms. No you won't show him your weakness. You won't cry. You can't cry.

He opened and closed his mouth like a gaping fish as he balled his fists "w-well-" "and I should add that every time I made time so we could spend it together, you were the one who called off every date last minute. Why? Because you would spend your free time playing games rather than being with me" you smirked when you realised he wasn't meeting your eyes. That's what you thought.

"now get out. And don't contact me again. Glad she was satisfied by your small friend" oops. That surely hit a sore spot.

The man that I love sat me down last night and he told me that it's over

Dumb decision

He looked at you with anger as he walked passed you, intentionally bumping into your shoulder as he made his way to the front door. But of course he just has to say something to repair his bruised ego.

"don't get so happy y/n. Just because you make more money doesn't mean you're superior to me. Remember, you were just a stress reliever. I lost feelings for you a long time ago. At least she understood me and wouldn't bitch around when it came to keeping the house clean" he smirked as you grew silent. Looks like he mistook your silence for hurt. "you can't even do most of the house work, of course a man would leave you for something better"

"jihyeok" "what?" the smug smile told you he expected you to apologise and crawl back. Poor him. "you're in no place to teach me how to be a woman. If you're such a man, why were you eating off your girlfriend's salary since the last year?" it was your turn to smile as you saw his face fall "and please don't call yourself a man. You're insulting the whole spieces" you winked as you raised your hand "also, just because she sucked your cock doesn't mean she'll support you. Good luck finding a job and paying the rent by yourself. And I also expect you to return me all the money I spent on your rent since the last year" you watched his eyes filling with fear and his hands shook as he stared at your hand which was holding up the middle finger "now get out"

~•~

The moment your door closed, your knees gave in. Your heart hurt. So much that you could physically feel it squeezing painfully as broken sobs spilled from your lips. You didn't let your tears fall when he was in front of you. No way in hell you would let him see you at your weakest. But now it was like a damn broke free as you struggled to breath. How can you be so stupid? You should have seen this coming a long time ago. All the lingering touches, the stolen glances, the time you found her in your apartment with him alone.

"we wanted to surprise you!" they both smiled brightly causing you to smile too.

But at that time you failed to notice that how did she knew that you were going home early that day. You smiled bitterly. They were just lucky that day.

You took a deep breath and wiped your face before standing up on shaky legs. You will not cry over him. No, you will never allow yourself to cry over the people who didn't deserve to be called humans. Ignoring your ringing phone you made your way to the kitchen and washed your face. The lighted screen told you who was calling

"ina💖"

You scoffed as you cut the call and blocked her number. You had no interest in listening to her excuses. You had a feeling they both were together right now.

A part of you wanted to cut them off from your life forever but another part of you wanted to hurt them just like they hurt you. It was worse that you knew just the best way to do that. It was even worse that you knew who would help you take your petty revenge.

Before you could stop yourself, your were already picking up your phone and dailing his number. Your hands shook as your thumb hovered over his name and his words rushed back to your mind.

"whatever you need, I'll do my best to make it happen. It won't matter how long I need to wait. Just say the word and it's done. I hope you'll give me another chance, doll"

Taking a deep breath you pressed the phone to your ear. Surprisingly, he picked up almost immediately and a warmth spread inside you when his deep voice hit your ears.

"I was waiting for you,doll" you looked down at your feet as you felt fresh tears filling your eyes and you hoped the small sniffle would go unnoticed by him. But of course it didn't. He noticed everything when it came to you. "you're crying?" you pictured him clenching his jaw as his voice took a dangerous tilt. One that used to scare you. You ignored his question as you took a shaky breath and whispered "does your offer still stand?" he was silent for a moment before breathing out "yes" you nodded even though he can't see it and sat on the chair of your dinning table "then will you let me use you?" you held your breath as you anticipated his answer and felt your body relaxing when he rasped "use me angel. Tell me what do I need to do"

"pretend you're in love with me" you whispered hearing a long exhale on the other side "don't need to pretend for that,doll" your heart started pounding as you looked down, again ignoring the flutter of your heart "pretend you're willing to die for me" "can't" your eyes widened ''why?" ''because I would die for you angel"

As your words died down in your throat, you wondered what would have happened if you had made different choices in the past.

"why can't you trust me?!" he panted as he gripped your shoulders. You looked up at him with pained eyes as you hoped he wouldn't notice your tears under the heavy rain. But of course he did. Breathing heavily he leaned his forehead against yours "what changed y/n?" a sob left your lips as you shaked your head, weakly pushing him "I'm still the same guy you fell for. And you're still the same girl I fell for" he whispered hoarsly as you gripped his suit jacket, pulling him closer until your lips were barely touching. You pressed your lips on his for a brief moment before another sob broke free from your throat as you whispered "I'm scared of you yoongi" that was the end of it. You saw him shatter in pieces and crumble in pain as you uttered those words.

If 3 years ago you had trusted him, forced yourself to trust him, then maybe your life would have been a lot different.

"what else doll" "don't kill him" "depends" his dry voice forced a small giggle out of you as you wiped your eyes but the smile soon died down when he asked "what did he do baby girl?" you almost didn't want to tell him because you knew he wouldn't be able to control his anger if he knew. But you have to tell him. "he cheated" the moment your small whisper reached his ears was the moment he saw red. His voice may seem calm but in his head, he was already thinking about the many ways he could torture the piece of shit. But of course you always knew how to calm him down "yoongi promise me you won't do anything" you heard him taking a deep breath before he grunted "what do you want me to do?" "can you find out where he is right now?" "that's easy. 'course I can"

Of course he can. Sometimes you forget who he is.

~•~

Now I don't wanna feel how my heart is ripping

Fact I don't wanna feel so I stick to sipping

And im out of the town with a simple mission

In my little black dress,And this shit is sittin

You met him outside the club as you both planned. Well he planned. He had sent a car for you because of course he wouldn't let you come alone when it as dark outside. He never took any risks when it came to you. And maybe you knew why. Maybe it was because you were the easiest way to threaten him.

You felt your breath catching in your throat when you saw him. Looking as handsome as he was 3 years ago. But maybe more mature. His hair longer and ridges rougher. You last saw him when he was 24 and you were 21. Now you're 24 and he is 27. "yoongi" you breathed as you stood in front of him. His eyes were soft as he took you in and your breath stuttered when you felt his hand gently holding your smaller one "hey doll" he mumbled softly as he leaned down and pressed a soft kiss on your forehead. Just like he used to.

You heart hurt when you think about the time you spent away from him. Even if you were in a relationship with jihyeok, a small part of you still belonged to him just like how he always belonged to you.

He didn't said anything more but his eyes did. They held so many different emotions as he kept staring at you intensely. "let's go"

You nodded and held his arm softly as you both started walking inside the famous club. He found out that your ex and ex best friend were both in here together. It may seem petty to make your ex jealous and regret his actions. But after spending almost your whole life trying to be considerate of others, you wanted to be petty. And yoongi had no problem with that. He still thinks you're being considerate to that shit head by not letting him make that fucker regret in his ways but he'll support you no matter what you do.

All eyes were on you both the moment you stepped inside the club. You can't blame them. You knew you both looked great. In the two years you saw yoongi twice. Both were the once when he couldn't help it. When he missed you too much. And both of those times you saw him in his three piece suit. Right now he looked lethally gorgeous in a leather jacket, ripped Jeans and chunky boots while you wore a sleeveless black dress which came to your mid thighs. Hair loose and heels high. Even through his jacket, you could feel the bulge of his gun pressing against your hips. But it didn't make you nervous.

It didn't take long to catch them, making out at the bar without a care in the world. Like they haven't betrayed the one person who loved them both genuinely. You could feel tears filling your eyes at the sight but yoongi cupped your face and made you look at him "don't forget what you're here for doll" you nodded as he wiped the single tear that managed to escape before leaning down to whisper "just say the word and I'll make them regret their whole lives" you slapped his chest as he smirked "shut up we aren't here to kill anyone" "whatever you want, doll" he drawled letting you pull him towards the dance floor.

You smiled up at him as his hands found their place on your hips which you swayed to the music. The multiple lights shown on his face as he pulled you closer until your hands were on his chest. And you knew that you had their attention when you felt a burning gaze on your back. Yoongi leaned down until his lips grazed your ear for which he was gifted with pleasant shiver "they're looking at us doll" he mumbled burying his face in your sweet smelling neck while your arms wrapped around his neck as you both moved with the music.

A surprised gasp left your lips when you felt his lips pressing a wet kiss on the sensitive skin of your neck "y-yoongi'' your eyes fell shut as you felt him pressing soft kisses on the same spot before sucking it softly. He hummed gravelly as he pressed a hand on your lower back and pulled you flushed against him causing your soft breasts to press against his firm chest. It didn't help that you weren't wearing a bra. "need to make him realise what he lost" he murmured as he bite the same spot gently causing a small moan to slip from your lips. "mm..yoongi" you sighed, your hands gripping his shoulders as you felt something hard pressing against your lower stomach.

Small twing of pleasure erupted your whole body, settling a fire on it's wake as you felt yourself getting wetter by the second until your panties were sticking to your womanhood and soft pants were leaving your lips. "fuck you smell so good" he groaned as your fingers tugged his hair,your back arching and your head leaned to the side, giving him more access to your neck.By now you had completely forgotten about your ex boyfriend and best friend glaring daggers at you as you both swayed to the music, bodies feeling hot like fire as heavy breathing and pants mingled together.

"shit" he breathed heavily as his hand gripped your neck and he pulled you closer until your lips were inches away from his "tell me doll" he rasped, gripping your thigh and pulling your right leg up until it was wrapped around his waist. You gasped, holding his wrist as you felt his hardness pressing straight against your cunt "who are you thinking about?" he mumbled, grinding against you causing soft moans to spill from your lips "are you thinking about him right now?" his voice held a tilt of possessiveness and darkness as his hold around your throat tightened a bit. You whimpered shaking your head as he pressed against you harder "n-not him" he nodded leaning his forehead against yours "then who?" "y-you" the moment those words left your lips, his lips crashed against yours.

And it wasn't a sweet or gentle kiss. It was rough and hard, filled with possessiveness and yearning as your teeth clashed together and tongues danced for dominance. But of course he won. He kissed you hard. Hard enough for your lips to feel numb and your pussy to gush as soft moans of his name left your lips like a chant while low growls and groans left his lips like he couldn't get enough of you.

"missed you so fucking much" he panted as he pulled back slightly, both of your lips red and bruised and hot breath mingling together. You opened your eyes to see him already looking at you and if your heart was pounding before, then right now it threatened to spill out of your chest as you whispered "yoongi" he hummed as he looked over your head and you saw his eyes narrowed "w-what's wrong?" you asked turning to look behind you but yoongi held the back of your head and pulled you to his chest with a grunt causing you to look at him confused "nothing's wrong angel. Tell me what were you gonna say?" he murmured pressing a kiss on your forehead and because your face was buried in his chest, you didn't notice him still looking at something at a distance. "umm" you whispered gripping his jacket "take me to your home?" you dared to peek up as he went silent and the look in his eyes caused you to whimper softly.

He chuckled darkly as his hand squeezed your hip before he murmured lowly "you're playing a very dangerous game kitten. Don't think you'll get to leave once we step in my house" you gulped down the nerves as you bite your bottom lip softly before pressing a soft kiss on his lips "I don't wanna leave" you saw his eyes darken which made you excited and nervous.

It was like nothing else mattered when you were standing in the middle of a crowded bar and gazing in his eyes as he trapped you in. The way he looked at you, the way he touched you, the way he held you, it made you wonder just why did you waste 2 years of your life with that trash bag. The guy that you loved with all your heart, gave him your everything, and what did you get in return? Getting cheated on and also getting the blame. And the girl who was supposed to be your one true friend, the one who was with you for so many points of life. You were mad at yourself for spending 3 years apart from him.

You were snapped out of your thoughts when someone suddenly pushed past you, causing you to stumble further in his embrace as he wrapped a protective arm around you and glared at the drunken woman. "you okay?" he cupped your face with one hand and you nodded placing your hand on his "can we go?" your voice was small as you said those words and he didn't said anything but nodded and wrapped an arm around your shoulder before pushing past the ocean of bodies.

You noticed he was glancing behind by his shoulder every now and then and his grip around you suddenly tightened just as you both stepped out of the club "yoongi" you squeezed his hand which was on your shoulder and he only hummed as he glanced by his shoulder again "is everything okay?" you looked at him worriedly and his eyes softened. You both stopped in front of his car and he cupped your face softly "everything is fine, angel. Don't worry about anything and sit inside. I need to make a call and make sure you lock the car yeah?" he mumbled giving you the key. Although you had a feeling that something was wrong, you trusted him enough to not question him. So nodding you took the key and sat in the car, nodding when he signalled you to lock the doors.

You sighed, watching him as he took his phone out and made a call. A few seconds later you saw two men arriving and although you couldn't hear their conversation, you knew it was something serious because yoongi looked a little angry as he talked with the two men. They said something before walking away and yoongi rounded the car while you unlocked the door. His cologne filled your senses as he opened the door and sat in with a sigh. "who were they?" you asked softly as he took off his jacket and laid it on your lap which you Silently thanked him for because you were freezing. "they work for me" he answered simply as he started the car and you nodded before looking down at your hands folded on your lap.

Your attention was caught by him when he suddenly placed a hand on your thigh and after a moment of hesitation, you kept your hand on his. The ride was silent until you reached his house. You realised he had moved places. As he parked the car in the underground parking lot, he rasped "last chance doll" you looked at him nervously as he took a slow exhale before turning to look at you "I won't let you leave once to step inside my place y/n. I can't let you leave again. I don't think I can handle it again" his jaw was tight as he said those words and you realised just how badly you hurt him. Taking a shaky breath you unbuckled your seat belt and leaned forward, letting his jacket fall as you pressed your lips on his "make me stay yoongi. Please don't let me leave" you whispered against his lips and the familiar darkness returned in his eyes. The one that made your legs weak and pussy gush.

The elevator ride to his pent house was silent but you were in his arms the whole time. It was like he couldn't keep his hands off of you. But the moment you entered the penthouse, his lips were on yours and his hands were on your body. You wrapped your arms around his neck as he kissed you hard. His hands groping whatever skin they could reach as low moans and whimpers filled the air. Breathing heavily, he gripped your thighs and picked you up effortlessly causing you to grip his shoulders with Soft moans as your lips danced against each other. You didn't notice him walking towards his bedroom because you were so lost in his lips. Only when he laid you on his bed and his scent filled your senses did you realised that you were in his personal space. But you didn't have time you look around in his room because he was above you on his knees no yanking of his t shirt.

You felt your cheeks warming up as his milky white skin came in your view. But along with his abs your eyes caught something else too. There were multiple scars on his abdomen. It seemed like he noticed the sadness in your eyes because he tilted your chin up and pulled you in a deep kiss. One which took your breath away. It was deep and sensual. Passionate and full of longing. "I'm fine doll. A little knife can't kill me" you stifled a small giggle as he winked at you before your eyes widened when he suddenly pulled you up on his lap.

You took his hand as he kissed you again and guided it towards the thin strips of your dress and he let out a low growl as he slowly pulled the strips down until the dress was hanging around your waist. Slowly, he pulled back and his eyes wandered down "fuck"he whispered as he took you in "so fucking beautiful" you looked at him shyly as he laid you down again and tapped your hips. You raised them and he took off the dress completely,leaving you in a pair of thin black panties which were soaking wet.

"so perfect" he whispered as he came down until he was kissing around your breasts "a fucking goddess" he took your nipple in his mouth, sucking it softly which had you arching your back while your fingers tangled in his hair and small gasps left your lips "letting me worship you" his hand massaged your breast, making sure to give them the same attention "can die a happy man now" he chuckled darkly as you moaned his name softly. Trailing his kisses downwards he pressed multiple kisses around your waist before pressing a small kiss on your panty covered womanhood.

He looked at you as he hooked his finger around the thin material and once you nodded, he pulled the panties down your legs while biting his lip. You gasped when he raised the ruined material to his nose and took a long sniff before letting out a long groan causing you to cover your face in embarrassment "don't fucking hide from me" he grunted gripping your hips and pulling you down until his face was buried in between your legs, causing you to squeal In surprise.

But before he touched your weeping cunt, he looked at you with what you found as jealousy and possessiveness "has that shit head ever eaten you out?" he murmured lowly as he kissed your inner thighs, leaving small marks behind "n-no" you gasped shakily, your fingers flying towards his hair "no? " his eyebrows furrowed and you nervously whispered "h-he said it was gross-" another dark chuckle cut you off and you looked down to see his face leaned against your thigh as he looked at you cockily "can't believe I let you date a fucking kid but" he smirked "that means I'm the first man who tastes you" it was the only thing you heard before he dived in like a man dying from starvation and you were his last meal.

A loud moan left your lips as he wrapped his around your clit, sucking and teasing it until it was swollen and red. His hands gripped your ass and pulled you in so close that you were scared that he might suffocate but it seemed like he had no problem as he lapped your pussy like a lollipop. Your back arched and your head pressed against the pillows as his tongue entered your pussy. You could only moan his name helplessly as he took turns in fucking you with tongue and sucking your clitoris. He was quite literally making out with your clit as he inhaled your intimate scent with a deep groan which caused you to feel the vibrations against your womanhood. Your legs locked around his head which yet again made you worried that you might suffocate him but as you went to move away from him, he gripped your thighs with a growl and pulled you in "don't fucking do that again" He pleasured you like it was his only way to salvation. Like he was dying and you were his last meal. It all became so much that you exploded a second later with a loud and long moan of his name. If you weren't so high on pleasure you would have been embarrassed at how loud you sounded because you never thought you could make such a sound.

He mumbled praises of how good you were doing as he made sure to lick every single drop you gave him. He pulled back with a proud smirk, watching as you came down from your High and climbed up towards you, his cock brushing against your sensitive folds. You opened your eyes to find him already looking at you and a shy smile made it's way to your lips "how was that? " he grinned causing you to whine "great" "I'm sure it was" he chuckled kissing your forehead "but I'm not done with you sweet girl" your eyes widened as he hovered over you and. You didn't even noticed when he took of his pants but you felt your eyes widening and core gushing as you saw the size of his cock. It was long and thick, standing tall and proud with his mushroom tip an angry red and pre cum already forming. Soft moan left your lips when his cock grinded against your womanhood "tell me to stop yeah? " he whispered and you nodded holding his shoulders with a deep breath.

Soon a gasp left your lips when you felt the tip of his cock entering you and he stopped immediately "You good? " he brushed your hair away from your face and you nodded whispering "be gentle please" he kissed your nose "I will angel" slowly, you felt him entering you which caused you to whimper in slight pain. He peppered your face with soft kisses to distract as he tried his best to not slam inside you.

Once he was buried inside you, he stilled to give you some time to adjust "take deep breaths for me doll" he mumbled and you nodded taking shaky breaths. A soft sigh left your lips when you felt the pain disappearing and nodded. He pressed his lips on yours as he bottomed out before pushing back in causing both of to moan simultaneously "o-oh yoongi" your back arched as he moved with long and deep thrusts, hitting every part of your womanhood and soon, his cock brushed against that sweet spot causing you to moan loudly "right here? " he gritted thrusting back in at the same angle again and again causing your eyes to roll at the back of your head.

You gripped his hand with a soft whimper and he held it immediately beside your head. You cupped his face as he leaned his head against yours and you whispered "I missed you so much" his jaw clenched and his thrusts got harder and more powerful as he buried his face in your neck "you have no fucking idea how many times I almost knocked on your door. Almost called you dammit" you whimpered as you felt your high approaching rapidly once again and tears ran down your face as you sobbed "I'm so sorry. I never wanted to hurt you" his eyes hardened at the sight of you crying and he crushed his lips on yours "it doesn't matter anymore. You're here with me. I don't need anything else" he never blamed you for leaving him. You both loved each 3 years ago but you had no idea who he was. To you he was the son of a wealthy business man. But the day you were going to confess, you saw him at His worst. You saw him killing someone. When you told him you were scared of him, he wanted to kill himself. He was mad at himself for falling for you. For allowing such feelings. But when you left him, he was willing to wait however long you wanted him too.

"fuck y/n" he breathed heavily as you pulled him in a soft kiss and you felt your high wash over you as he kissed you deeply, his own High washing over him. He rided you both out of your highs before falling on top of you and you wrapped your arms around him tightly as he buried his face in your sweaty chest.

After a few seconds of heavy breathing, you whispered "yoongi" he hummed snuggling deeper "you remember when I called you, you said you were waiting for me.. What did that mean?" you felt him smile against your skin as his hold around you tightened "it means that I've been waiting for you since 3 years, doll. Because I knew that one day, we'd meet again. So the wait was worth it" "and what if I hadn't called? " he hummed "then I would have waited and waited until you did" "why? " "because I'm so in love with you that waiting for you seemed easier than trying to forget you"

~•~

As you laid naked under the covers, yoongi stood by the bed with a towel wrapped around his waist as he listened to his right hand man talk "the guys belonged to Lee. They somehow came to know that you would be at the club. I've taken care of them but boss.. " yoongi hummed as he pulled the covers over your body properly "the same guys had been following y/n since a few weeks. They somehow caught our men following her and Lee found out that you've been secretly keeping an eye on her. They wanted to use her to-" "threaten me" yoongi chucked darkly as his movements stilled "fucking shit head" he snarled as he walked out of the room as to not wake you up "you know what you need to do namjoon. Bring him to me alive"

~•~

"what are you doing? " you flinched and turned around sheepishly as yoongi raised an eyebrow. He was shirtless in only some grey sweatpants as he folded his arms over his chest, looking at the mess all around the kitchen "w-well" you laughed nervously "i-i wanted to make you breakfast but I didn't realise I messed up your kitchen" yoongi nodded as he looked at the dinning table filled with breakfast and coffee "I'm so sorry I'll clean it up-" "you don't need to" you blinked as he pulled you to the table and made you sit on his lap "I pay people to clean my house. Surely they can do it. Now let me taste my girl's cooking" you looked at him surprised while he calmly ate his pancakes "you don't mind the mess i made? " "why would I? " he shrugged "the food is great" he kissed your head and fed you too.

"you can cook whenever you want. I love your cooking. Just be careful to not hurt yourself. You cook, I'll clean" you giggled kissing his nose "I think I kinda like you" he grinned tickling your waist "well thank god because I think I like you too"

Taglist

@bunnyrhe @rosquilleta @raineandskye @shymagda-7 @creatorspalace @yoonaasa @iheartsvt @xmochiloverx @kyojuro-ska @meow-min @kissme-ornot @wobblewobble822 @kookieaddicted96 @thelilbutifulthings

[yoongifis]

💌 “fxck a fxckboy!" | myg

where you sort of hooked up with one of the school’s biggest fuckboys but end up leaving him hanging and never contacting him because…well…why not? somehow the universe brought you two together and now you’re left with dealing with him because he apparently caught feelings for you.

; pairing: flirty/smartass!y/n x fuckboy!yoongi

; warnings: ass grabbing, ass slapping, vaginal penetration, unprotected sex, fingering, creampie, cock warming, blowjobs, breastplay, mention of sex toys, mention of masturbation, usage of mature words, some dirty talk, jealous yoongi (my fave hehe)

; genre: smut (18+), pwp (?)

; wc: 11k+ (the most i’ve ever written 🤯 sorry hehe)

a/n: fuck fuckboys or fuck a fuckboy? 🫣 honestly really wanted to write something for that pic of yoongi (jeeeesus😮‍💨) and thought “yeah i think he should be a fuckboy or something” lol…also peep the namaikizakari pic heheh—one of my favorite mangas!! 🫶

-

He led you to his bedroom in his currently empty but shared apartment he lived in, your soft hand in his. 

The two of you had just gone back from the bar, the two of you slightly tipsy—more him than you. You didn’t drink much compared to him. You knew your limits and you made sure that you stayed away from being severely, passed out drunk. To keep things short, you both had shitty days and you both just wanted to let it all out with a little one night stand—no biggy, right? But who would've thought that you would be doing a quick fuck with the one an only Min Yoongi, a fairly popular boy at your university who’s only interested in just fucking without any feelings. You could probably answer your statement, actually: the man is just down to fuck anyone he sees. You’ve heard it everywhere—all the little chitter chatter about him that goes around the school—he’s a man who doesn’t want to settle with one person. He wants a quick fuck, but never twice with the same person, and afterwards he won’t do anything else but sleep and ignore you as you leave.

He guides you over to his bed, making you sit on the edge while he goes ahead and locks the door from behind. 

It’s not everyday where you get this sort of chance, so before you gave into coming to his place to hook up with him, you decided that you wanted to toy with him a bit—have him remember who you are. 

He walks slowly over to you, scanning your body up and down as he licks his dry lips. 

“Mm, so what’s your plan?” You hum, looking up at the tall man who stood in front of you. He’s bringing up a hand to twirl the loose strand of your long hair around his finger. 

He smirks, removing his finger from your hair and taking his thumb and index finger to hold your chin.

“I figured it was kind of obvious with what’s going on, no?”

You snort at his remark, gently grabbing his arm by the wrist to pull his hand away from yours.

“I’m well aware of the game you play, Min, and obviously I’m completely up for it. But how about we change it up a little—let me take control this time?” You bat your long eyelashes at him, giving him a sweet and innocent look on your face. You release your grip around him, brushing your fingers up and down his forearm before placing your hands back in your lap.

Yoongi scoffs with a smile on his face, amused with your offer. 

“Sure, princess. But if it gets bad, I’m gonna take over.” 

You place a hand on his stomach, gently pushing down on him to get him to move back, which he does. You stand up in front of him, spin the two of you around and push him over again to make him sit on the edge of the bed.

“Alright,” you hum, now looking down at him.

His hands instinctively reach out to you to caress your curves, but you’re quick to give him light slaps to his hands to prevent him from doing so.

“We’ll go over some rules—one of them being no touching unless I say so. Two, I don’t like to kiss on the lips if I’m just doing a one night stand—.”

“—Pfft,” he cuts you off, “that’s stupid. But you’re willing to have sex?”

“I think kisses are more intimate and they deserve to be used in a place where feelings are there.”

He thinks to himself for a second, quietly considering your comment.

“I guess you can think that way, princess.”

You roll your eyes at him, removing your black leather blazer to reveal the little black cropped tank top and your short black miniskirt a little better. 

God, he was drooling over you. Every curve of you looked absolutely delicious—he had to touch you but, of course, he wasn’t allowed to. He was even able to see your hardened and pierced tits through your shirt, which made him chuckle a bit. He was too excited to see them.

“No bra? Is that all for me?” He grins, licking his lips again.

You lean over, your face coming closer to his as you ignore his words. He was ready for you to just plant one on him, so he instinctively closed his eyes. You place your head on the side of his, lightly giggling at him. 

“Cute,” you mumbled near his ear, making him immediately open his eyes, all embarrassed. Your hand slides into the front pocket of his button up shirt, taking out a large handkerchief. You pull away, looking back at him with a cheeky smile. “I was surprised to see that you had one of these in your pocket. It’ll be handy for today.”

Yoongi raises his eyebrow at you, unable to put one and one together.

“Last rule is that you’ll be blind folded until I say so. If any rules are broken, I’ll stop and leave.”

“That’s bullshit.”

“Should I just get going now?”

His dark eyes scan you up and down again, undressing you in his mind. You stood there in your all black outfit, playing with the long handkerchief by loosely wrapping it around your hands. You looked heavenly, it was screwing up his thoughts.

“Fuck,” he swears under his breath.

Something in him was also telling him to give this a try—see if he’s into it or not. It wouldn’t hurt to try, would it?

“I’ll play along with your little game, princess.”

“Great,” you hum with a smile on your face.

—

It didn’t end the way the two of you (possibly him more) wanted it to be.

Spoiler alert—you ended up leaving him while you were in the middle of teasing him, your hand wrapped around his long and hard cock, making him desperate for more of your touch.

Of course he was absolutely furious with you leaving him without having the chance to get to his release or even fuck you. You didn’t care, though. It wasn’t your problem anyways. He broke the rules and you left just like that—exactly what you told him before you started.

You kind of already expected Yoongi to slip and end the night short. All he wants is his dick to be wet—and you didn’t want to fall into that trick of his. Instead, he fell right into your trap—all left with blue balls and not a single taste of you.

You kind of already expected Yoongi to slip and end the night short. All he wants is his dick to be wet—and you didn’t want to fall into that trick of his. Instead, he fell right into your trap—all left with blue balls and not a single taste of you.

You kind of already expected Yoongi to slip and end the night short. All he wants is his dick to be wet—and you didn’t want to fall into that trick of his. Instead, he fell right into your trap—all left with blue balls and not a single taste of you.

You kind of already expected Yoongi to slip and end the night short. All he wants is his dick to be wet—and you didn’t want to fall into that trick of his. Instead, he fell right into your trap—all left with blue balls and not a single taste of you.

Now, it’s not like you hate him or anything. It’s more like you wanted to teach him a little lesson. This whole thing was never planned ahead, of course—you just got lucky enough to come in contact with him on one of those rare days where you actually decided to go out for a drink.

You internally laugh to yourself, barely focusing on what you’re doing behind your laptop.

“Y/n, how about we take this get together to my apartment? I can feel myself trying to fall asleep. I’ve been awake since 5 in the morning.”

You look over to the boy, watching him rub his eyes with the back of his hands and then stretching afterwards.

You chuckle at him, agreeing with his idea before the two of you start packing up and heading out of your school library.

The universe is actually pretty crazy. Or perhaps you’re just really lucky because who would’ve thought you’d be here again in the same apartment that you were in a while ago. However this time you’re here with Yoongi’s roommate, Hoseok—your classmate that you’ll be working on a project with. 

You’re carefully scanning the place again as you enter, not being able to recognize a thing in the living room since you barely had a chance to look around the last time. 

“Don’t worry, no one’s here right now. I think my roommate is out right now.”

You nod your head, somewhat hoping that you get to leave before Yoongi makes it back home. 

“Make yourself at home, y/n! Don’t be shy! Grab some water if you want. I’m just going to use the restroom real quick!” He doesn’t let you answer as he scurries over down the hallway. Dropping your stuff down on the couch, you make your way towards the kitchen. 

You were opening each cabinet one by one, in search of some cups. Honestly, you couldn’t care less if they were glass, plastic, or paper at this point since you still weren’t able to find any. Hoseok wasn’t that descriptive—matter of fact he didn’t really tell you—where things were, so it just looks like you're ransacking his kitchen.

Squatting down, you look in the cabinets of their kitchen island. Rummaging through things until you find the stupid cups.

“Hoseok, what’re you makin’?” 

You froze in your stance, the two glass cups in your hands. The voice you heard was definitely not your classmate’s. It was lower, a bit gravelly as if they just woke up. This was most definitely the one and only Min Yoongi. Of course, the universe made you lucky enough to meet him again.

You muster up the courage, mentally slapping yourself to gain some more confidence to face him again. You slowly stood up, placing the glass cups on the countertop.

He looks up at you with a raised eyebrow, rubbing his eyes again to make sure that he wasn’t seeing things.

A lopsided smile grows on his face, as he moves closer to rest his arms on the counter.

“Back for a redo? Did you miss me or something?”

You snort, amused with the words that came out of his mouth. He definitely didn’t learn anything with your so-called “experiment”. Since you were already in this position, you made a quick decision to keep toying with him until he’s at his limit.

“Of course not. I’m here for your roommate.”

His sleepy eyes nearly bulge out of their sockets, his neck slightly extended forward. 

“My roommate? Hoseok? You’re about to go fuck that guy right now?”

Before you could answer, you were immediately cut off. The two of your heads both looking over to see the owner of that voice.

“Ah! Hyung! You’re home?!” He’s looking at Yoongi, to you, and back to the boy as he mentally took in the situation. “I see you’re already introducing yourself to y/n! She’s in my biology class. I’ve got a project to do with her.”

You couldn’t tell if the air around you guys was awkward, uncomfortable, or very tense. Honestly, it didn’t bother you at all that you were seeing Yoongi again for a second time—more like it just caught you off guard that you were actually lucky to see him for a second time.

Yoongi takes a glance over at you again and then back at Hoseok, silently observing the two of you.

“Yeah,” he pauses, “I skipped class ‘cuz I wanted to sleep.”

The other boy nods to acknowledge his words and the room goes quiet again. You clear your throat to break up the silence and make way to the water dispenser to fill up your cup.

“Are you thirsty Hoseok? I’ll bring some water to the table if you want me to.”

“Ah, no I’m fine,” his voice sounded like it was getting further as he spun around to go sit back down in front of the coffee table.

“I’ll take a cup.” You hear the other boy’s low voice even closer to you than before, so you glance over your shoulder to see him now standing behind you, body leaned against the island of the kitchen.

Turning around with one full glass in your hand and the other on the counter, you shoot him a quick smile and ignore his request before you walk past him to head over to Hoseok. He scoffs, his eyes following your body and then his whole body turns to watch you sit your pretty ass right next to Hoseok—all giggly and shit.

-

Standing behind the kitchen island became his favorite place to be at whenever you came over. He pretends to be on his phone or laptop, clean a little bit, or even cook up a little snack and eat it there. If it’s not already obvious, Yoongi was solely there to see you. (And monitor whatever was going on between you and Hoseok.)

There has been zero progression between the two of you within the past few days and he was growing impatient. The way Hoseok has been having you all to himself was pissing him off. Were you really going to fuck his friend? But why not him? Why’d you have to play games with him and leave him high and dry with no care in the world?

It was also pissing him off that you weren’t all over him like how other girls are with him. I mean—you made it pretty clear to him that you knew what kind of guy he is and how you didn’t really want much to do with him. I guess seeing the attention being only on Hoseok made him a bit…jealous…

..Yeah

…he was jealous…

That’s something he rarely feels.

Hoseok takes another bathroom break which gives Yoongi the chance to steal you away and get the ball going between the two of you. He quickly grabs his math textbook, a piece of paper, and a pencil from his desk in his room and sits right next to you on the couch with the sides of your thighs and arms both touching each other. Your head immediately turns to him, watching his movements with a raised eyebrow. He puts his textbook on top of Hoseok’s, flipping to a random page and points at a problem.

“Teach me how to do this,” Yoongi mumbles, eyes only on you and not whatever he was pointing at.

You look at him, a little thrown off. You glance over at the book and quickly scan the text, trying to see if you could actually help him at all. 

“Calculus? You’re in calculus?”

He silently nods his head, patiently waiting for you to do something.

“I’m not really the best at math, but I can tell you what I know and maybe you could try to put things together with your knowledge?” You didn’t even bother to look up at him, pulling the textbook more towards you so that you could read the problem again.

All you did was talk him through the problem and explain what some things are, but none of it managed to stay in his brain when all he was focusing on was your voice. God, he could listen to you for hours. 

He was scribbling stuff on his paper, working out the problem as you softly spoke to him.

“Ah, hyung—! You’re working on homework?!”

You immediately stood up from your spot, moving over to the side a bit to give Yoongi some space until you felt a grip around your wrist. You feel him pull you back down, making you sit right next to him with the side of your body touching his.

“You’re fine where you’re sitting,” he says in a low voice, head leaning closer to your ear.

Hoseok observes the two of you, getting a gist of what’s going on. He doesn’t sit down next to you like you thought he would, instead he starts walking away again, leaving you confused.

“I forgot—I have to make a phone call real quick.”

“Since when do you make phone calls?” You retort.

“Y/n, I’m a busy man. Don’t worry about it.” His eyes go from you to Yoongi, wiggling his eyebrows at him. You turn to look at Yoongi, watching the way he glares at Hoseok.

Yoongi blankly stared at him, not giving a fuck about whatever Hoseok this or Hoseok that has to do. He turns to look at you again once the other boy is out of the room.

“Could you quit looking at Hoseok like that?”

“Like what?”

“You know already.”

You scoff with a laugh. 

“Yoongi, be more specific with me. I can’t read your mind.”

“You give him the prettiest smile while batting those long eyelashes of yours—he’s gonna fall for you and I don’t want that shit to happen.”

The pout in his voice is noticeable, you found it cute.

“Why don’t you want it to happen? Didn’t I tell you I was coming for him next?”

He clenches his jaw, a firm line on his lips. Hearing that just pissed him off even more. Of course he would never want that. He wants you to himself, even though he can’t explain why he wants you so badly.

“You should be going for me. Not Hoseok.”

You force a fake smile on your face, placing a hand on his bicep. You gently rub your hand up and down before letting it sneak up to the back of his neck, pulling him closer to you. Your fingertips play with the ends of his long hair, slightly massaging the back of his head—doing all this just to tease him again.

“Yoongi, I’m not going to be one of your easy picks. You can look for another girl who can fulfill your needs.”

You’re about to remove your hand away from him until he grabs your arm and places it right on top of his shoulder where it rested before.

“I don’t want “another girl”, princess. My eyes are set on you.”

“All you want me to do is to get your dick wet and then you’ll just toss me like every other girl you've hooked up with,” you scoff.

“But if I don’t plan on doing that to you, then what?”

“You want a gold star for finally not thinking like a little fuckboy? Finally being a decent human being?”

He rolls his eyes, annoyed with the fact you were right. He is an asshole and he’s known to be that type of asshole. But he wasn’t going to be that asshole to you.

“Yoongi, how the hell am I supposed to trust you?”

“I can prove to you that I’m serious about you.” 

“How can you be so serious about me when all we’ve done is hang out with each other once for a semi-hookup?”

“I guess you can call it love at first sight, doll,” he’s lazily smirking at you, a sight that makes you feel a little tingly inside.

You scoff again, hiding the little smile you had on your face from his stupid silly words. “Yoongi, you probably say that to every other girl just to convince them to hook up with you.”

“Alright, since you think all I do is think about sex, let's start by making it not about sex. I’ll go two weeks without masturbating or fucking any other women—which should be easy because all I want is you.”

There he goes again. He’s way too good at poking at your heart, making you feel something. God, you felt stupid but you can’t help but react that way. 

You slowly move your arm off of his shoulder and slide your hand over to his chest, taking your index finger to play with the string of his hoodie by wrapping it around your finger.

“Make it four weeks.”

He’s taking one of his hands and gently sliding it over the side of your waist, caressing that area by moving his hand up and down.

“When did that hook up between us happen again?”

You furrow your eyebrows, thrown off by him asking this at this moment.

“2 weeks ago, I think?”

He’s smiling, leaning his head over to the side of yours, his breath tickling your ear.

“I’ve got two weeks left then, princess. You can ask Hoseok to confirm it if you want.”

You stare at him with a puzzled face when he pulls away from you. 

“Hoseok knows when you jerk off?”

He lets out a low laugh, one of those throaty ones. You watch him as he smiles big with his teeth and gums all out. 

“No—,” he chuckles, “he doesn’t. He knows that I haven’t been with anyone since I met up with you. I can confirm for myself that I haven’t jerked off at all these past 2 weeks—if that’s what you’re more worried about.”

You gently shove him away by the shoulders, annoyed by his teasing. But his grip around your waist tightens, and he’s pulling you closer to him.

“Alright, go ahead then.”

“Atta’, girl,” he hums, “but know that if I want something, I’ll do whatever it takes to make sure that I get it.”

-

To be completely honest (and kind of stupid to admit), you didn’t expect him to last this long. Hoseok knew about the deal that was going on and he always brought up the fact that Yoongi hadn’t been going out or seeing anyone whenever he saw you in class—kinda funny, right? He only had a day left and you were sure you were going to lose. 

Now, instead of accepting defeat, wouldn’t it be better to spice things up before you could come to terms with losing? 

You were chuckling to yourself as you took pictures of yourself as you laid in bed. You pressed your arms together, making your breasts look larger in your plain black bra. You couldn’t leave out the matching black, lacey thong you had on too, so you took a couple snaps from the front and the back. Soon enough, you were already pressing the red button on your phone screen. Legs spread out as you teased yourself on the outside of your panties, creating a little wet spot. 

Sent.

You take another clip of you massaging your breasts, slowly pulling down on your bra to reveal your hardened and pierced nipples. You gently flick your nipples with the tips of your finger nails, grazing against them ever so lightly, making sure your video clearly captures your little whimpers. 

Sent.

From your bedside drawer, you took out your pink dildo, recording another clip of you sucking on just the tip of it before bringing your head lower to lick a stripe from the bottom and back to the tip. Holding the toy by the base, you release the tip with a little ‘pop’, bringing that hand to slowly move it up and down. 

Sent.

You knew he had to fold. He just had to do something. I mean, not to be so full of yourself or whatever, how else would someone react if they received explicit videos and pictures from a person they liked? 

This just had to be one of your greatest plans. You were sure that Yoongi was going to lose. He just has to text you any second now—or even tomorrow morning. With that being said, you were able to sleep comfortably for the night.

.

The uneasiness of Yoongi not texting you started to grow when you saw no new messages on your phone when you woke up. It continued to grow little by little as hours passed by—still no response coming from him. 

You eventually gave up on the thought of you almost winning once the clock struck about 11:40 pm.

It was most definitely over for you. 

You just had to accept it.

Maybe you might’ve gone a little overboard—or a little too confident in yourself. You really thought he would take the bait.

“Hoseok, give me a second. I think someone’s at my door.” You glance up from your paper to look at him on your propped up phone.

“At this time?” He asks, concerned for your safety.

You shrug, not really giving the situation a thought.

“I’ll keep you on facetime but I’m muting you. Just keep an eye out for me if I don’t show up on your screen after more than 5 minutes.” You’re already reaching over to tap on the mute button and getting up from the floor before you stride towards your door.

You figured that it was probably your neighbors or some student from school. The apartment complex was primarily made up of students, so you were sure it had to be a student knocking. Honestly, you were used to the noisiness coming from outside, the occasional parties, or the ding-dong ditching that a little knock on the door at this time doesn’t really bother you.

You were met with another view—in fact, an insanely rare view—that you would have never expected. Standing face to face in front of you—with your oversized big shirt and skimpy panties underneath—was the one and only Min Yoongi. 

He looks you up and down, a smug look appearing on his face. You look up at him with a raised eyebrow, slightly scoffing before turning around to your phone to unmute it and leaving the boy at the door.

“Never mind, Hoseok, it was nobody. Just give me a minute.”

You immediately muted your phone again once you heard the door being locked and a little chuckle.

“A nobody—hm,” he hums.

He sticks his hands in his pockets, slowly making his way towards you as he takes a couple glances around your apartment. He stops and stands in front of you, leaving a couple feet in between.

“Yoongi, what the hell are you doing here?

“The photos and videos you sent me.”

You smiled, but quickly dropped it. A bit excited to hear him finally bring up the topic you’ve been waiting for. 

“Oh? Shit—I must’ve sent them to you by accident. They were for someone else.” You watch as one of his eyebrows furrowed together, clearly concerned with what you just said.

“Who?”

“Hoseok, of course.” You knew by saying this he would go mad—and that’s what you wanted to see. You wanted to push his buttons, make him frustrated with you, and see what he would do. 

“And the outfit? You’re wearing that while you’re on facetime with Hoseok?”

“Well, yeah—wouldn’t it be easier to give him a little show this way?” You say teasingly.

After that being said, his whole demeanor shifts. He’s clenching his teeth, causing his sharp jawline to be more defined. His eyes on you felt heavier, as if they were burning holes into your own. His flirty, teasing self that he usually had on him was gone. The change slightly scared you, but you didn’t want to show him that.

He was mad. 

He never wanted to hear that come out of your mouth ever again.

“Guess so?” Is all he says.

“Did you like the pictures at least?”

“Did I like the pictures?” He repeats, his tone strong.

He scoffs again, chuckling right afterwards.

The two of you turn to your phone when you both hear Hoseok calling out for you. Taking the phone in your hand this time, you unmute to quickly apologize to him. Before you know it, a pair of arms are wrapped around your waist and a head is resting on your shoulder.

“She’s busy, call later,” Yoongi mumbles, glancing over at your phone. You were too stunned to say something, his actions completely catching you off guard. 

“Hyung?! There you fucking are! You could’ve told me where you were heading to before running out like that—.” Yoongi quickly hits the ‘end’ button before the other boy could keep going. He’s taking your phone away from your hands and tosses it over somewhere on your couch before his arms find your waist again.

“I didn’t like the answer I heard earlier,” he hums.

“Which one?” 

You let out a little yelp when you feel him gently sink his teeth on your shoulder.

“Don’t play stupid with me, doll. You already know.”

“Ah,” you laugh a little awkwardly, “suddenly I do remember what you’re talking about.”

He snorts, rolling his eyes at your comment with a smile on his face.

“Were they really for him? Because I feel like they couldn’t be.”

“Why couldn’t they?”

It’s quiet for a second as he thinks to himself. 

“You drive me crazy, you know that? You and that little attitude of yours—just makes me want to fuck it right out of you.”

He lowers his head closer to your neck. His lips lightly brush against your skin before he slowly kisses a line down your neck. 

“Doubt you could.”

You keep your composure. Internally screaming at yourself that none of this was phasing you.

Because it definitely wasn’t.

Well, it shouldn’t—at least. 

“Yeah? Should I try?”

He released an arm from your waist, his hand already creeping up underneath your baggy shirt. The rough pad of his fingers caressing your soft skin.

Butterflies.

It’s all you could feel at this moment. 

He’s too smooth at this—that dumb, experienced but fine asshole.

You shouldn’t. 

You really shouldn’t.

It was a bad idea—I mean, does this man actually have a drop of interest in you?

You turn around while in his hold, wrapping your arms around his neck. You’re massaging the back of his head with a hand, then play with the ends of his long, black hair. His hands rest on your waist. 

“Shouldn’t you be doing this with a girl that you genuinely like?”

He looks at you with a raised eyebrow again, a face filled with disbelief. He scoffs, but a light chuckle comes out of his mouth right afterwards. 

“You just really like to rile me up, don’t ya, princess?” He lowly mumbles.

“Yoongi—!” You yelp, holding onto him tighter.

He’s hooking his hands underneath your thighs, lifting you up and carrying you over to lay you on the couch. You remove yourself from him, allowing him to hover himself above you.

“I don’t know how clear you want me to be, but I feel like I made it pretty clear that I’m serious about you.”

“You think that not jerking off or not hooking up with random girls for a whole month is really proof that you’d change just for me?”

“Well, wasn’t that the deal?”

“I mean I accepted it because I felt bad and it just seemed like you really wanted to prove something to me.”

“Yeah—because you won’t believe me that I’m actually into you.”

“This feels like something you’d say to every other girl you hook up with.”

“God—will you quit bringing up other girls?! I couldn’t care any less about them if I have you in front of me.”

Butterflies. It’s the stupid butterflies again.

“Shut up,” you mumble, turning your face away from him to avoid his gaze.

A quick pause of silence. Not enough time to collect your thoughts.

“What? Did I get your heart to skip a beat? Is that why you won’t look at me right now?”

Without saying anything, you shook your head with your head still facing the other way.

“Cute,” he chuckles, his breath hitting your face. 

You feel the weight of him above you disappear. His hands were wrapped around your ankles, tugging them towards him as he sat near your feet.

“At least look at me when I eat you out.”

“Shut up,” your face grows a shade of red out of embarrassment. 

He couldn’t help but keep the teasing smile on his face. Yoongi positions himself that allows him to place your legs over his shoulders. He slowly lifts up your t-shirt that’s covering your lower half, leaning more towards your core.

“Such pretty panties,” he hums, “just for me to see, huh?”

“No,” you say without glancing down at him, “it was for Hoseok.”

With no warning, Yoongi’s taking his thumb to rub circles on the outside of your panties and against your clit. You slightly gasp in surprise, mumbling a “Yoongi, wait” under your breath.

“Of course you would say that. You really make me want to fuck that brattiness out of you. Turn you into a girl who wants just me—my girl.”

Lowering his thumb to where your hole would be at, he brings his face to your covered core and tries to bite on your covered nub but instead gently grazes his teeth against it. He takes his tongue and flattens it against it, making the fabric even wetter than before.

You gasp, immediately covering your mouth with your hands to stop yourself. You felt a shiver run down your spine, shots of electricity on the places he touches.

“Hmm, was that little gasp from me or him?” 

You already knew you wanted to keep messing with him, make him mad just for fun. But before you could answer he’s already pulling your baby pink skimpy panties to the side, licking a long stripe from your hole to your most sensitive part. 

“Ah—Yoongi!” You yelp with an airy voice. 

He’s pulling back, chuckling, very happy with your answer. 

“So sweet, princess. I think I’m gonna be addicted.”

The boy goes back to your heat, mouth going straight to your clit. He’s sucking on it, swirling his tongue around it as he does so. You remove your hands from your face, quickly bringing them to his hair. Your fingers get tangled in his long, black hair as you tug on him to bring his face closer to you. Yoongi laps up your essence that flows out of you, coating a little bit of his chin. You’re whining as he sloppily kisses your clit, feeling how wet you are from the mixture of his saliva and your own wetness.

You yelp again once you feel Yoongi’s thick, long finger slowly enter your hole.

“It just slid right in. Fuck—you’re so wet, baby.”

He hums against your clit, thrusting his finger slowly in and out of you, causing you to groan in pleasure.

“Yoon..gi—please—,” you whine with a choke, already feeling yourself go blank. 

He’s already adding a second finger, curling it upwards and picking up the pace as he thrusts them into you. 

“Fuck—pleasepleaseplease!!”

You didn’t know what exactly you were begging for, and neither did he. But it got him chuckling when he heard your little pleads.

“Cum on my face, baby, and I’ll give you whatever you’re asking for.” He places a couple kisses onto your inner thigh before he dives back into your pussy.

Your eyes are rolling back, your whole body feeling warm. Yoongi doesn’t waste any time on sucking on your little sensitive bead. Your body speaks for itself as loud squelching noises and your whimpers fill the room. He can feel you tightening around him already, a sign he knew that you were about to come undone. He’s plunging his fingers into you, making sure you’re fully taking them in. The slurping sounds and grunts he makes get louder, but not as loud as you were. 

“Ah! Yoongi—!” You cried, digging the heel of your foot to his back, which allowed you to raise your hips up. He’s immediately pushing you back down, his free hand wrapped around your thigh in an attempt to stop you from moving. 

“Cum,” he says, humming into your core, then immediately flicking his tongue against your clit.

Something in you snaps—it was as if he was able to control you, your legs start to shake as you finally cum on his fingers. He helps you ride out your high, slowly thrusting his fingers into you and moving his face to your inner thigh to pepper kisses onto it again.

“Good girl,” he coos, removing his fingers and lifting your legs off his shoulders to set them on either side of him. He watches as your breathing evens and your eyes flutter open. He’s rubbing circles with his thumb on top of your thigh as he holds onto them, enjoying this small moment.

“Use me like how you used that toy of yours in the photos and videos you sent me. Show me how you play with yourself, baby.”

“You’re too bossy.”

“But you like it,” he’s smiling, sitting against the armrest of the couch on the other side. 

You sit up, closing your legs and tugging your t-shirt to show some modesty.

“Mmm, I do. But I think you’d like it even more if I was the bossy one.”

“Alright,” he chuckles, “go ahead and be bossy, princess.”

You carefully get up with wobbly legs and stand in front of the boy, who immediately turns his whole body so that he’s seated properly. You get on your knees and then sit on your heels, looking up at him with innocent yet slightly fucked-out eyes.

“I won’t be blindfolding you this time. But there’s still going to be no touching, so put your hands under your thighs and keep them there.”

He’s rolling his eyes with a small scoff.

“Not this shit again. You’ll leave me like last time.”

You laugh, giving him a gentle slap to his thigh.

“So do you not want me to do what I did in that video I sent you?”

He’s already shoving his hands under his thighs, impatiently waiting for you to start.

You start to pull down his sweatpants, along with his boxers and he helps you by lifting his bottom up. There you’re met with his hardened cock, sprung up and against his lower torso. Your hand immediately goes to the base of it to gently squeeze him, your fingertips barely able to touch. You glance up at him, carefully watching his strained face that’s asking for more.

You move your head closer, leaning in more a bit to gather up the saliva in your mouth and spit onto the tip of his cock. You slide your hand up and down to spread it around. Finally, you take your tongue and press it against his slit, your touch instantly making him hiss. Wrapping your lips around just the tip, you suck on it and swirl your tongue around the shape of it. He was on the thicker side, but with a decent length. You were unsure if you would be able to actually fit him in your mouth (or even in you), but nevertheless you were determined to make him cum even if you had to completely stuff him in your mouth.

Slowly, you push your head down on him. You begin to bob your head, taking him in little by little. Having him barely halfway in your mouth already verified that he was in fact pretty big. You used your hand to wrap around whatever else you couldn’t reach, pumping his cock at the same speed as your mouth.

“Fuck—,” he hissed, “don’t push yourself too hard, baby.” His teeth were clenched together, doing what he could to stop himself from groaning.

This was what he has been waiting for: to be intimate with you. It’s what he was anticipating at the beginning, but he feels that the wait for it was making this whole experience feel too damn good. 

Yoongi’s throwing his head back, listening to the most vulgar sounds coming from you as you choked and gagged on his cock. He’s looking back at you, watching the way you took him in with tears running down your face.

What a fucking sight.

“Look at me, baby. Eyes on me,” his voice gruff.

You follow his directions, looking at him through your eyelashes and eyes all watery. Your eyebrows furrowed as you push yourself down on him more, a trail of saliva leaking out of the corner of your mouth. 

“So pretty,” he grunts. The only thing that he was missing right now was his hands being all over you, but he wasn’t willing to take the risk and make things turn around like how it did the first time. 

You pull away with a little ‘pop’, giving him a sweet and innocent smile before using the tip of your tongue to trace the long and bulging vein underneath his cock. Once you make it back to the tip, you stick out your flattened tongue. With your hand still on the base, you move his cock against your tongue, moving it side to side and then roughly hitting your tongue with just the tip before taking him in again. You hum around him and swirl your tongue around him as you quickly bob your head.

He lets out another strained groan, followed by a hushed mumble of your name. You wanted to get him to cum, to make himself lose control just like how he did earlier. However, giving him head and seeing the way he was right now was turning you on. You could feel yourself throbbing, selfishly wanting a little more. Yoongi, on the other hand, didn’t want to finish off in your mouth. He wanted to be inside you; he had to finish inside you. 

“Fuck. I can’t do this.”

Yoongi quickly takes out his hands from under his thighs and removes you from him, halting your movements. Quickly, he stuffs himself back into his sweatpants. He’s lifting you up again, his arms under your thighs and his body pressed against yours. You hold him tightly around his neck, clinging on to him like you were a koala.

“Room. Tell me now.”

“The first door down the hallway on the right.”

He’s speeding his way down there, sitting down on the bed first while he is holding on to you. Yoongi lays back, scooting himself upwards so that his head is more on your pillows. He positions you to sit on his crotch, but you move back onto his thighs to prevent yourself from grinding on his hard-on.

He’s caressing your sides as the two of you look at each other, eyes filled with lust.

“Let me see you ride me like how you do with your dildo. I won’t touch you this time, I swear,” he’s putting his hands behind his head, “please, baby.”

He was desperate. Insanely desperate.

And he looks cute to you when he’s desperate. You couldn’t blame him for feeling that way because you were feeling the same. Without saying anything, you lift up your hips and hover above his thighs. You pull his hard cock back out of his pants, holding it up as you position yourself above it.

“Wait—condoms—damn it!” He mumbles, “I didn’t bring any because I wasn’t really expecting to go far.”

You watch him groan in frustration, clearly mad at himself.

“Fuck–sorry. I’ll go buy some. I think I saw a gas station down the road? Just–fuck–please don’t lock me out, y/n.”

He finally looks at you, eyes met. He looked desperate. Absolutely desperate.

You’re biting your bottom lip out of habit, quietly thinking to yourself. You let go of his cock, allowing it to hit his lower stomach. You place yourself on top of it, your wet, bare folds against the length of his cock.

“Am I going to be the last person you’ll ever be fucking?”

You move your hips, gently grinding yourself against him to rile him up a bit, causing him to swear under his breath.

“You’re the only girl I ever want to fuck.”

You scoff, rolling your eyes with a smile on your face.

“I better be.”

He’s chuckling now, a big lopsided smile plastered on him, and a little less tense.

You’re raising your hips again, grabbing his thick cock and placing it under you. With your panties pushed to the side, you drag the tip of his cock against your wet folds, causing you to clench around nothing. The excitement and nervousness was causing you to shake a little, and he was immediately able to notice it. He grabs you by your wrist, your eyes follow along his arm and fall onto his face.

“If you don’t want to do this, don’t force yourself, okay?” He’s looking at you, his eyes soft and concerned for you. A whole different side to him.

You smile at him, leaning over to place a kiss on his lips—completely forgetting your meaning behind kisses and catching him off guard.

“I want this as much as you do.”

He’s looking at you, nodding his head with a dazed look, questioning his whole existence.

Did this mean…? Or was it an accident?

He still shouldn’t try to initiate another kiss from you—what if you just leave him again?

…Right?

Before he could get his thoughts together, he was already feeling your pussy wrap around the top portion of his cock. You’re letting out a whine as you slowly ease yourself down on him, just like you would with your toy. Yoongi hisses at you tightly squeezing onto him—god it was making him go insane.

“Y-yoongi,” you gasp, “t-too bi-g!”

You stay still on top of him, squeezing onto him uncontrollably as you wait for yourself to get used to him. Having him inside you definitely confirmed he was on the thicker side; it immediately had you rolling your eyes back at how full it made you feel. Although you weren’t moving, you were a little noisy—little mumbles of swears and his name or airy whines. It turned him on a lot, and it took a lot in him to not take over right now.

“Good girl,” he grunts, eyes focused on the look at your face. “You take me in so good.”

Your face felt hot, your mind was fogging up. The feeling of being stuffed was too good, but you were wanting something more. Your hips, as if you had no control over them, started to grind against Yoongi’s. You lean back, holding yourself up by placing your hands on top of Yoongi’s thighs. Your mouth hangs open as your hips move in circles.

“So pretty, baby,” he coos. 

His eyes couldn’t leave at the view of your pussy sucking him in. It’s like you didn’t want him to ever remove himself from you. He takes his hand to move the front part of your panties to the side, exposing more of you. He brings his thumb to his tongue and gives it a little lick before bringing it back to you. He presses his thumb against your swollen and sensitive clit, drawing circles around it.

“Yoongi!” You squealed, your hips stuttering.

“Keep moving baby, you can do it.”

You’re begging for who knows what and mumbling his name in between. The sweetest moans and whimpers escaping your mouth was all music to his ears. He could listen to this all day. 

The sight of you nearly losing yourself from his cock, how noisy you were from just barely grinding on him—Yoongi loved it all.

Fuck, he really loved it all. 

He craved for more, though. This wasn’t enough.

“God, I can’t hold back. I’ve got to kiss you.”

He’s extending his arm out to you, placing his large hand behind your neck, pulling you closer to him. You press your body against him as you lay on top of him. Your lips immediately find his. He’s kissing you with hesitation, afraid of you pulling back and ending it all. But your arms travel to its way to wrap around his neck, holding him close to you. It gave him the sense that you were okay with this. Both of his hands slither to the sides of your ass, gripping onto them as he spreads them apart and slaps your ass with a loud smack. His hands end up resting on the top of your ass, guiding you up and down as you bounced on his cock. 

You’re groaning in pleasure, head going blank. He was kissing you as if he wanted to make sure he memorized every curve of your lip, the way your tongue felt as it was trying to fight for dominance with his, and how it felt too good to suck on your tongue to get a moan out of you. 

He’s already pulling away, but your body didn’t want him to stop.

“Yoongi—,” you whimper with a pout on your lips, eyes glassy, “—more please.”

“More what, baby?”

“Just kiss me again, please–,” you whine.

He thought he was going absolutely insane. 

Just those few words made his chest feel so heavy.

While keeping one hand on your ass, he takes the other and brings it to the back of your head, crashing your lips against each other. You keep yourself there, his hand moving back to your ass to help you move down on him as his hips continue to thrust upwards into you.

You’re moaning loud. Way too loud. And all he could do was swallow your moans—tongue exploring all over the inside of your mouth— or press his lips hard against yours. You part away from his lips, burying your face against the crevice of his neck.

“Yoongi—ah-,” you squeal, “fuck, please—!”

He’s chuckling at the way you weren’t making sense, mumbling anything that you could even spit out. It was cute—he was making you go dumb in the brain. 

“You’re doing so good, baby—fuck,” his hold on your ass tightens, as he’s thrusting into you even harder.

He could feel your movements slowing, getting tired. It came to the point where you held your hips high while hovering over him, letting him thrust upwards as you’re leaning over and moaning into his neck.

With a couple more thrusts, he’s easily sliding out of you. 

“Yoongiii—,” you whined, but he ignores it. Instead he’s sitting you two up, standing up and holding you up with his hands under your bottom, turning around and laying you on the bed this time. He pulls you down closer to the edge of the bed by your legs. You’re slowly pressing your legs together, missing him being in between you. 

“Don’t leave,” you mumble softly with a pout on your lips. Your eyes glistening yet were filled with lust. 

Yoongi’s eyes soften as he looks at you with adoration. He could feel his heart become fuller. And the urge to wrap his arms around you just to squeeze you tight become stronger.

Fuck—call him crazy because he must be really in love with you. 

He had to make you his—it just felt right to have you.

He’s moving your legs to the side, allowing him to lean over and peck a soft kiss on your lips.

“I would never.”

Yoongi stands up straight, removing his hoodie and t-shirt to reveal his toned torso. He then sheds off his sweatpants and boxers, standing completely naked in front of you.

He’s tugging onto your panties, helping you remove them and tossing them somewhere in your room. 

“This—,” he starts to push up your baggy shirt, “—off.”

You lift your arms and head up as he helps you get the shirt off of you, but your arms immediately fall on top of your breasts, covering them up.

His eyes roam around your body, taking mental photos for him to think about later. 

“Don’t hide, baby,” he hums, taking his hands to pull your legs apart, exposing the lower part of your body. His hands go for yours, removing them from your breasts and pinning your hands above your head.

“Yoongi—!” You squeal.

“God, I’ve been waiting for these especially.” 

He’s staring too hard at your perky, soft tits. A silver metal bar with two balls at the ends of it pierced right through both of your nipples. He knew you had them; he saw them right through your top the first time he met you. He just wanted to see it all underneath and in-person. Fuck, you were sexy. Too fucking sexy. Just looking at you makes him way too goddamn hard—he could probably just cum just like that. Even earlier with just your oversized t-shirt and your hair down, you were just as sexy. 

He keeps one hand around your wrists and takes his free hand to your left breast, gently massaging it with your nipples in between his index and middle finger. He leans down to encase your hard nipple in his mouth, swirling his wet tongue around it, fiddling with the little piercing, before sucking on it.

You let out his name in an airy moan, arching your back instinctively. He releases you and moves his head higher, placing his lips on the soft skin of the upper part of your breasts, sucking and nibbling on it until it turns a nice shade of red. 

“My pretty girl,” he’s mumbling against your skin. 

He’s leaving a trail of kisses that lead to your other breast, switching hands so that he’s now groping the other breast he was just giving love to. Yoongi flattens his tongue against your nipple, allowing it to graze against it before he's using the tip of his tongue to draw circles around it. It seemed like it wasn’t much, but the sensations you were getting from it was just making you wetter. Your nipples were just so sensitive that your little moans and gasps were inevitable. Soon, he’s marking you up—a couple of love bites scattered around the flesh of your breasts.

“Yoongi—want your cock—please,” you mumble.

Pulling away, he looks at you—helpless and vulnerable underneath him. No bratty attitude or little unnecessary comments. Just you begging—wanting him and just him. It’s a sight he could definitely get used to.

He lets go of your wrists, but you keep them there. He’s grabbing his length, giving it a couple strokes before he runs the tip down your slit to collect your wetness, causing you to shiver.

“Anything for you, princess,” 

He’s lining up himself in front of you, the tip slowly starting to sink in. 

“Let me know if you want to stop–please. The last thing I want to do is hurt you,” he’s leaning over, head positioned next to your ear.

You nod your head, not trusting your mouth as he’s slowly sinking in. You’re scrunching your face, wincing a bit from still not being used to his size. He waits again for you to adjust again, making sure you’re doing okay. 

He’s spreading your legs apart more, pushing your bent legs down to make more space. His hands rest on your waist, pulling back to slide himself out before going back in slowly. He was treating you as if you were fragile, his thrusts more gentle than how he was earlier. Despite how vocal you are with your little whimpers, it still wasn’t enough for you.

“Yoongi—more,” your eyes flutter open, “fuck me like I’m your slut.”

Your words threw him off, but it did manage to make him feel something. 

He pulls all the way back and rams himself back into you with a hard thrust. You let out a loud moan of his name, eyes rolling back and closed shut. He keeps himself at a steady pace, making sure his thrusts are hard enough to get you to keep babbling nonsense.

“‘Like you’re my slut’, hm?” He’s chuckling, bringing his thumb to your bottom lip, tugging it gently. “Guess I forgot my baby likes being rough,” he starts to push him thumb into your mouth, your lips instantly wrapping around it.

“Suck.” He demands, and you do it shamelessly. Your hands go up to your breasts, cupping them underneath before massaging them.

He’s admiring the way you looked again—stuffed both ways. You’re making a mess around him and his thumb, while you were fondling your marked up tits, and your pussy just can’t help but keep sucking him right back in. Fuck. It’s heavenly.

“You look so pretty, princess. I want to be the only one who gets to see you this way.”

He’s snapping his hips harder, grunting with every move. He’s removing his thumb, but your mouth hangs wide open.

“Yoongi—fuck—ngh—!” You’re whining a lot, chanting his name as you beg for no reason.

“Yeah? Is my pretty slut going to cum?” 

He brings his thumb to your clit, applying some pressure onto it before he starts rubbing it in circles. You were feeling lightheaded, vision blurry as tears started to form in your eyes. He thrusts into you as hard as he can, the sounds echoing off the walls. 

“—Nnghh—Yoon—gi!” You choked.

He’s hovering over you, his free hand next to your head as it’s holding him up. Your thighs were almost pressed against your chest, sort of folding your body in half. This position allowed him to penetrate you even deeper, hitting you in all the right places.

“God!” He slams himself, beads of sweat dripping down his forehead, “fuck!”

Yoongi quickens his speed with his thumb on your clit, making you clench tightly around him. He knew you were about to come. He’s already memorized your signals from earlier. You were on the brink of doing so, and he was just about at his limit too.

“‘m gonna fill you up with my cum,” he growls into your ear, “sluts like you like that, huh princess?”

“Please—!” You squeak, “want it so bad!”

Fuck—that does it.

He just couldn’t say no to you.

He’s standing up straight, hands back on your waist to hold you steady. If it was even possible, he was drilling into you even harder and faster. Eager to get the two of you to cum. You grip onto his muscular arms, fingernails digging into his skin, arching your back. Your panting becomes louder, but the obscene, wet squelching noises start to drown your moans. The knot inside you was about to come undone, you just couldn’t handle it anymore. With another moan of his name—and a couple other words—, you finally reach your high, cumming on his cock. 

Yoongi could’ve sworn you mumbled a little ‘I love you’ as you came undone. Triggering him to not be able to hold it in anymore. He stutters in his movements, taking a couple long thrusts before he releases load, painting the insides of your walls white.

He gives you a couple weak thrusts, wanting to keep his cum deep in you before he removes himself. As he pulls out, he watches the mixture of you both slowly spill out of your abused hole. He’s running to grab a kleenex from on top of your dresser, cleaning up the mess you two have made.

Before he could even ask you if you were okay, you were fast asleep. You just couldn’t help it when your body was just so exhausted.

He’s chuckling at your sleeping figure, finding it cute that you fell asleep right after fucking.

—

Yoongi lifts up the notebook paper up to his face, squinting at the words scribbled onto it.

‘Thanks for the night. Went out for a little, so feel free to leave whenever. I’ll take care of cleaning :)!’

Fuck.

Fuck.

A ‘one-night-stand.’ 

Yoongi scoffs in disbelief. 

He got played by you.

A quick fuck and that was just it.

He’s running his fingers through his dark, disheveled hair, hand moving down to rub his face. He groans into his palm, plain annoyed. 

He’s quickly getting up, putting his sweats over his boxers as he searches for his hoodie.

Standing there near the edge of the bed, his eyes scan the room to see it nowhere to be found.

Perhaps you wore it out?

He's smiling to himself, the thought of that happening actually making him feel giddy. 

He opts to just wear the shirt he was wearing underneath, dragging his feet across the floor as he heads over to open your bedroom door. It then finally hit him that he had the freedom to roam around your apartment, wait for you to come back home, or make an attempt at figuring out where you might’ve gone. 

He entered the awfully quiet living room, your papers still scattered on your coffee table. 

He could still smell the faint aroma of coffee that’s lingering in the room, as if someone just recently made a fresh cup of coffee—he knew you still had to be around here or that you had just barely left.

Yoongi’s looking around, checking to see if you’ve taken your keys with you—nope. 

But you did leave the door to your balcony open.

Ah-ha…

And there you were.

Outside on the small balcony of your apartment, body against the railing. You were watching the calmness of the morning, or whatever that was out there, with a coffee mug in your hand. He’s walking up to you, admiring how tiny and cute you looked, drowning in his hoodie before pressing his back against yours. He wraps his toned arms around your shoulders. He takes his hand and cups your chin, tilting your head back so that you can see him upside down. Yoongi brings his sleepy face close to you, pressing a firm yet tired kiss against your lips. Your lips immediately reciprocate, feeling his hand that was on your chin slide down to your neck. He pulls away with a low groan—either because of you or that he's tired (probably a mix of both).

You tilt your head forward, looking back at the mellow street.

“Too much creamer,” he mumbles sleepily, licking his lips. He brings his head next to the side of yours, resting it on top of your shoulder. His breath hits against the side of your neck as he exhales. 

You chuckle at his comment.

“Did I scare you?”

Yoongi’s quiet for a second, tightening his hold around you. He brushes his lips against the side of your neck, then leaves gentle kisses on the same spot.

“A little…but I am at your apartment, so I would’ve waited for you to come home.”

You’re smiling big. 

Damn. He got you. He’s really got you smiling like a whole doofus. Guess you didn’t think this through.

“Ah—,” you groan with a laugh afterwards, bringing up your hands to push him away, “go home already.” 

His hold loosens as you push your way free. He’s chuckling too as he watches you walk away all flustered and to the door. He’s quick to catch up with you, closing the door behind him as he enters. You don’t realize that Yoongi was still following you when you felt his arms wrap around your waist again once you set your coffee on the counter.

“There’s enough space for both of us here.”

“What makes you think I’d want you to stay here?”

He hums, resting his chin on top of your head.

“Mmm, weren’t you the one who told me that you loved me first?”

“It was in the heat of the moment.”

“Ah…,” he pauses, “and the kisses you were begging from me?”

“Also in the heat of the moment.”

Yoongi scoffs, turning you around so that you’re facing him. He’s bending down to pick you up with his hands under your thighs, sitting you on top of the counter. He leans in to kiss you slowly and you reciprocate, arms already wrapping around his neck.

When he pulls away, catching you with a little pout on your face which makes him chuckle.

“‘Heat of the moment’ my ass—you seemed to like that kiss and you’re giving me a look that’s telling me you want more, hm?”

You shook your head.

He leans in to peck your lips once, twice—a third time.

“Shouldn’t you be pushing me away since you don’t like me that way?”

You roll your eyes at him, shaking your head afterwards. A small pause of silence. 

He wanted to hear you say it. Loud and clear.

“I do like…,” you mumble, trailing off. You turn your head away, looking over to the side.

“Louder for me, baby.” He takes his hand and brings your face to look at him again.

You sigh, rolling your eyes.

“You’re cute and all—,” you mumble, but quickly add on, “—but I want to get to know you more first.”

You watch the side of his lips slowly turn upwards. He’s smiling big, as if he finally won the gold medal in a marathon. Then he’s chuckling—both in relief and because of you being so cute.

‘Finally’ he thought. He’ll take what he can get.

“I told you baby,” he’s bringing his hands up to cup your face, a thumb caressing one of the sides of your cheek, “if I want something, I’m going to do whatever it takes to get it. Even if that means taking you out on a million dates to get you to be my girlfriend. That’s been my plan for the past few weeks.”

Rolling your eyes again with a smile. You pucker your lips, signaling for him to give you a quick kiss, which he does with no hesitation.

“You’re so annoying.”

With his hands still cupping your face, he squishes your face, your lips even more puckered which makes it hard for you to speak. 

“I’m all yours, got that? I’m not going to have a one-time-thing with you.”

“You sure about that?”

“You really think I’d just let you go just like that?” He scoffs, with a smile. “You’re mine.” He’s removing his hands from your face, resting them on the sides of the counter top, trapping you in between.

“Okay, okay,” you snort with a chuckle, “d’you want breakfast at least?”

He’s eyeing you up and down, a small smirk on his face. You watch the tip of his tongue peak out, then licking his lips.

“Yoongi…,” you whine, “it’s too early,” you roll your eyes with a small smile on your face.

“It’s never too early, baby.” His hands move around to your waist, quickly embracing you into a tight hug, pulling you close to his body.

“Can’t you give me some more time to rest?”

He’s bringing his head to the side of your neck, lighting pressing his lips against your skin, leaving a trail of kisses from the base of your neck to below your earlobe.

“I’ve given you plenty,” he mumbles against your skin.

“God you really are annoying.”

“You still like me though.”

As if he already knew what you would say, he gently bites down on the spot on your neck that he's been stuck on, causing you to let out an airy yelp.

“—I didn’t say anything!”

“You were thinking about saying it.”

“How would you know?”

He’s laughing at your attitude—he found you so fucking cute. He’s resting his head on your shoulder, his breath hitting the side of your neck. He’s tightening his hold around you a little more, while you bring a hand to his head to comb your fingers through his hair and gently massage his scalp.

There’s a small pause of silence. It wasn’t awkward—in fact it felt comfortable between the two of you, almost as if it was needed. This was all sort of new to Yoongi, and he found himself liking this a little too much. Sharing the same bed, waking up to you still around and in his clothes, morning kisses, your little attitude that he enjoys poking at, and the warm and tingly feelings he gets when he’s wrapped around you.

Maybe this is what he needed in his life—someone to finally smack him around and hold him down. Make him work harder than usual to get what he wants—or not give him immediately what he wants. Someone who will switch things up and surprise him. It just so happens that out of everyone he’s hooked up with, you managed to do all of that—and now you even got him wrapped around your finger.

[fruitmins]

Agust Dad—Prologue

➭ summary: Your a producer from another company that he happened to be collaborating with on his 2nd album D-2. At the release party— one drunk action leads to another, you do the worst thing you can do in the industry and change your fate forever.

➭genre: short series, pregnancy au, idol au, angst, dad au

➭warnings: smut that includes unprotected s*x (don’t do that), cuss words, mention of alcohol and drinking, kinda rough s*x, a little dirty talk

<<next part>>

➭note: yoongi is leaving for the military so let’s make him a dad to patch up my grief☺️ Have to give credit where credit is due; this was inspired by a writer named sopebubbles. And ik it’s not clear but he is still in BTS. ⚠︎ this is entirely a work of fiction and by no means is meant to be a projection, judgment or representation of real-life people. yoongi is used solely as a face and a name for the story. this is not a representation of real-life scenarios.

“I think, we should make a toast, to Mr Agust D himself of course.” The head producer said over the chatter in the lobby, noticeably drunk but it just so happened that everyone else was also. Even you.

But that was the point of the pre-release party. It was to celebrate how rich everyone were about to be and that everyone could relax after several hard months.

Even though you were only at the album camp for a week, only working on one song and from a entirety different company, somehow you found yourself at the rented hotel partying like the rest of the producers.

The infamous artist groans in embarrassment and this eggs everyone on further, raising their glasses towards him and applauding. “We are never doing this again.” Yoongi slurs, a little tipsy himself as he chuckles, the alcohol starting to loosen him up a bit.

It wasn’t like Yoongi always had his guard up, at least not around his colleagues anyways. He was just incredibly professional and slightly uptight. The two of you had spoken a handful of times while at the camp, mostly focusing on the song and the two of you worked well together.

You were from a more smaller company and when the two of you first met, he said he looked up some of the other collaborations that you did and was fond of your work. It was incredibly easy working with him and his team. No one could deny that the two of you had chemistry when it came to music. If you had a thought or suggestion Yoongi would practically finish your sentence. And if he wanted to change something you would already be on it.

Most of his other producers were amazed at how fast the two of you were working and how smooth it was going, which was half of the reason they wanted you to attend the party in the first place. The first producer to make the Agust D smile while working on a song instead of being tense.

But despite everything, you two hadn’t spoken much since then, so it was a surprise to you when he had stepped up to you when you alone in the kitchen, getting yourself another drink.

The first bottle of whiskey was already run dry, so you were to busy stumbling as you stood on your tippy toes to reach the other bottle in the cabinet to notice he had walked in the kitchen and was watching you from afar.

You hadn’t realized that he stood only a couple steps away from you, watching and analyzing your every move. His eyes wandering your body and curves as you struggled to reach the desired item. He couldn’t help but stare at your ass that was covered by your tight black skirt and watched as your breasts jiggled the more you stumbled and reached for the drink.

With his own new desire in mind, Yoongi finally advanced towards you. Making his movements slow and menacing, not stopping until he was behind you and his back was almost pressed against you.

Feeling the sudden body heat you spun around, your eyes widening even further when they meet his dark brown ones. You back away slightly, trying to create some distance but move hip first into the counter behind you causing you to wince in pain.

“You should be more careful, Y/N-ah.” He spoke in a soothing low tone, suppressing a small smirk when he saw how flustered you got, your cheeks even more red now and not just from the alcohol.

“Sorry, Min Yoongi-ssi.” You mumble with a nervous chuckle trying to stay professional and not get sucked in by his expensive perfume and deep gaze. It had already been heard enough to ignore his beauty during camp.

He lets out a deep chuckle, cracking a small friendly smile that hides his true intentions. “No need to be so formal Y/N.” He says, tilting his head slightly to take in more of your features.

He had spent almost a full week with you, and of course he noticed how pretty you were but he paid no mind to it. After all, he was focused on his work and he had seen better woman before. But now he had gotten a good full look at you with more of an (hazy) open mind.

“Ah, Y/N-ah don't you know? You shouldn't apologize to me when you're in no wrong. You shouldn't lower yourself to me so much." He said his smile turning more into a smirk.

“And plus, I’d say we have gotten quite close,” he spoke, his voice getting more quiet as he leaned more into you, pinning you between the counter and his body. “Don’t you think?” He asked with a smile smirk, having gotten you right where he wanted you.

“Wow,” You breathed out, glancing around the empty kitchen as if you were imagining everything that was happening. Guiltily, you had already had some inappropriate thoughts about him before thanks to his song lyrics but you knew better not to act on them.

“I guess so...” Your voice trailed out and you think you’re being discreet about finding an exit but Yoongi notices.

He leans more against you body so that by now they are touching. He continues to focus his eyes on you before effortlessly reaching an arm above your head as he grabs the drink for you.

Your eyes light up at the drink, even though it’s clear you don’t really need any more. “Thank you Yoongi-ah~” you slur while reaching for it but he pulls his arm back and takes the bottle out of your reach much to your confusion.

He chuckles with a soft smile at the cute expression, this one being more genuine than the last. “I don’t think you need anymore of this.” He says with a smug smile as he looks down at you. Yoongi moved one of his arms down and placed his hand on your hip that bumped into the counter earlier. The other hand still on the drink. He smirked once again as he moved his face closer to yours. "I wouldn't like for you to get hurt again."

Your throat hitches as you feel his warm hand on your hip, drawing small circles into it as he spoke in a soft tone. You finally see the hint of lust in his eyes that you failed to notice before and your heart thumps.

“You’re right. I think I’ll just go back to the party.” You say with a nervous chuckle, trying to somehow squeeze past him to get to the lobby while still being trapped between him and the counter behind you.

"I wouldn't advise you to go to the party. It's noisy and loud, there'll be too many people." Yoongi subtly brought his other arm with the bottle down and placed it on the counter, blocking all of your exits.

Now knowing where this was going you lean back more into the counter. “I don’t think this is a good idea.” You whisper looking down and away from his face so you’re not tempted to do anything that could possibly put your job in jeopardy.

“Why?” He said in a confident deep tone. “You know company’s have loosened up, and we’re grown adults.” Yoongi said with a soft chuckle as he leans closer to where you could feel his breath on your shoulder, trying to sound as gentle as possible.

“We’re from different companies.” You whisper, breathing getting heavy as the tension in the room starts to get hotter. Three drinks ago you wouldn’t even be considering about this, and maybe he wouldn’t even be either. But here you were.

“That's the best part." Yoongi said in a low voice as he took two fingers to move your chin so you were looking directly at him. He brushed your hair out of your eyes before tucking it behind your ear.

"No one from your company is even here and no one of my company knows you." He states calmly, giving you his signature smile for reassurance but the look of passion in his eyes tells a different story.

Your breathing becomes hitched as the hand on your hip begins to move to caress your side. He takes a swig of the alcohol as if to say ‘fuck it’ before quickly planting a hungry kiss on your exposed neck.

You bite your bottom lip to hold in a gasp as his wet soft lips hit your skin. His grip tightens on your hip as he kisses a trail down your neck "You're so beautiful," he breathes against your skin, whispering sweet nothings in your ear.

Your mind is hazy from the alcohol and his touch and suddenly all logical thinking begins to dissolve. All you can think about is how touch deprived you’ve been for years. How one of the most richest and famous person alive were telling you how beautiful you were. You can’t remember the last time you’ve let yourself let loose and release some steam.

He leans in close and presses his lips against yours, his tongue moving against them in a slow glide before pulling away. "No one has to know. Except for you and me." He says in a husky voice.

Now that he has you in his grasp, he gently takes your hand in his and leads you both out of the kitchen and upstairs to a one of the many empty hotel rooms that would soon be filled with drunk coworkers.

As soon as you step inside the room, he shuts the door behind him and locks it securely. He moves towards you again, placing a sloppy but firm kiss so you can taste the mix of alcohol on his lips while holding onto your waist tightly.

This time you return the kiss, now with your own hunger. “So pretty..” he praises again when he pulls away to catch his breath.

He starts kissing down your neck, his hand quickly moving to reach down to your blouse and unbutton it. You can feel the heat rising between you two, your breaths become shorter and quicker, your hearts racing in sync as he successfully gets your shirt off and on the ground.

You don’t have time to think as his hands move up to your breasts, feeling their weight and massaging them as he kisses you deeper. As he reaches your cleavage, he begins to undo your bra, letting go of your breasts so he could remove it completely. He holds the kiss as he does so causing your breathing to become faster and heavier at his touch. It was like an addiction, that you couldn’t get enough of.

He steps back, taking in your beautiful breasts for a moment before concluding that you needed all of your clothes off. He moves down and starts kissing all around your neck, chin, and jawline, leaving a trail of open-mouthed kisses and uses this as an opportunity to push you towards a nearby couch.

He kicks off his shoes as you collapse on the couch and he does the honors of taking off your heels for you as you quickly get off his shirt. He leans forward, and presses another passionate kiss against yours. “I’ve waited months for this..” he mumbles into the kiss, lying right out of his teeth.

His hands start to roam again, this time he takes the waistband of your skirt and pulls it down to your legs. “Let’s make sure you’re nice and wet for me..” he says in a deep husky voice as he slips his hand through your underwear feeling your wet fabric first.

You shiver when his fingers brush against your slit and as soon as he feels how soaked you are, he smiles widely leaning in to kiss you again. “So wet..” he hums before pulling his warm fingers away to pull down your underwear completely.

So having seen and felt enough, Yoongi unbuckles his pants and lets them fall to his knees. You can see the outline of his hard cock tugging at his boxers. He finally removes his boxers and his cock springs out, precum already leaking in anticipation. If being completely sober you would be more embarrassed of the situation, but your mind is to clouded by lust and warmth that you can take in his body completely.

He moves closer towards you once more, pressing himself firmly against you so that you're able to see every inch of him pressed against your stomach. "Mmmh...you like what you see?" he asks softly, as he wraps his hand around his cock.

You nod, a little to quickly as you watch him with pleading eyes. He smirks at your needy gaze, his hips moving into his hand involuntarily as he rubs his hand over your thigh.

Feeling your heat, he leans forward and kisses you, deepening the kiss as he slides his hands up your thighs to your hips. He squeezes them tightly, holding you in place as he slowly rubs himself against your entrance. He places one hand behind your neck while the other holds your hip firmly, gently pushing his cock inside you. You gasp loudly from the sudden pressure, but Yoongi only grins widely as he begins thrusting his hips slowly.

He lets out a grunt as he slowly pushes his painfully hard cock inside you, “So tight.. So wet..” he practically growls at the feeling of your warmth.

Your eyes shut tightly as he continues to slam his cock against your walls as he grips your hip tightly with both hands. “Look at me when I fuck you, Y/N..” he says in a demanding tone making you moan loudly in response your eyes fluttering open to look at him and you can admit it’s a beautiful sight. Never had you thought you’d be getting fucked by a famous idol like this, but now that it was happening you might as well take in all the sights.

“Fuck..that’s right..” he mumbles in a rough voice as he grips your hips tightly, his muscles tensing with every thrust he makes. It doesn’t take long after that till you’re clenching around him, moaning loudly as he drives you to a much needed orgasm that fills you with ecstasy.

His breathing becomes heavy too, sweat dripping off his forehead as he continues pounding. "Good girl..." He whispers huskily before kissing you passionately again.

In one swift motion he takes both hands and grips your hips tightly, lifting you up and off of the couch so he can sit down instead and places you on top of his lap still keeping himself buried deep within you.

Once comfortable sat up against the couch, he starts to move inside of you once again, starting off slow before speeding up. His thrusts are rougher than before, his hips slamming into yours as he holds your tightly to keep you in upright on his lap.

His thrusts become more needy and sloppy, causing you to bounce back and forth across his lap as he grunts softly as he feels himself getting close. He leans forward, holding onto your waist for support as he begins moving faster and harder, driving his cock deeper and deeper inside you until he finally releasing all of his hot cum inside of you.

The two of you stay like that a for a little, his warm cock buried deep inside of you as you try to steady your breathing.

Once Yoongi sees your breathing start to slow and you begin to come down from your high, he shifts his position so his laid down on the couch and you’re on top of his chest.

Your eyes flutter close shortly after, and when they finally open back up in the morning, Yoongi is gone.

Leaving you alone with the gruesome realization of how big of a mistake you’ve made.

[namfinessed]

so close - m.yg.

genre: major angst, fluff, second chance romance (13.5k)

summary: words are not enough for people who are so close and so in love, or a fic in which yoongi loses you but will do everything in his power to win you back.

note: writing after so long felt liberating, i hope you feel through my words.

this one is dedicated to my soulmate, @hopefuldreamlove​

masterlist 

“you know what? i’m done, i’m fucking done with your nonsense, i hope this stupid roof falls on your head!” your screams bounced off the walls loudly as you dragged your bags to the front door, you no longer recognized yourself.

when had it become this bad?

“i hope so too, at least that way i don’t have to hear you scream like a banshee on drugs, just get the fuck out already” yoongi huffs as he matches your vicious tone, but his chest tugs at him, begging him to move and stop you before it was too late, before you actually left and never came back. but his pride was stronger, he wasn’t going to beg you to stay, he was stubborn enough to pretend this didn’t affect him at all.

you don’t respond or even turn back to look at him one last time, you slam the door and trudge your luggage impatiently to the elevator.

yoongi couldn’t move, he watched the front door with pursed lips, he couldn’t believe that after all this time, this was how you two were going down.

he should’ve stopped you; he shakes his head at himself, he shouldn’t have even let the fight get so far, he should’ve stopped the second your voice wavered with unshed tears halfway through the argument but he didn’t, he waited for those tears to turn into simmering anger and yoongi didn’t do anything to make you stay. as always.

that was why you fought in the first place because yoongi had seemingly given up on putting any effort into your relationship.

halfway through the parking lot, you pulled your suitcases behind you with heavy steps, letting out puffs of breath with furrowed eyebrows, and then you paused. your heel stuttering as you narrowed your eyes, your hands loosened around the handles of your bags.

why should you leave?

you both were still owners of that apartment, both of you paid the rent and if you left now, you don’t even have a place to stay and you didn’t want to inconvenience your friends because yoongi was being an asshole, you also didn’t want to go through the trouble of finding a new apartment when you had a perfectly available one right above you (with three bedrooms!).

you smiled wickedly, if yoongi thought he was getting rid of you this easily, he was dead wrong because now, you were determined to make his life hell by living right next to his door and doing everything you could to make him uncomfortable.

yoongi didn’t hate a lot of things, but his personal space was always important to him and you were determined to make that space as worse as it could get and if he had a problem, he could always leave and find another place, he had the money to buy another apartment anyway.

with that happy revenge plan, you walked back to the elevator with a bounce on your step, you couldn’t wait to make yoongi’s life miserable.

yoongi, on the other hand, had been watching the clock since you walked away, it took every fiber of his pride to keep himself on that couch and not run after you but eventually, he knew that he needed you, he couldn’t ignore his sinking chest forever, so he ran to get his car keys, begging and praying silently that you hadn’t gone too far.

he reached for his phone as he made his way to the door, already texting your friends to see if you had gone to them.

imagine his surprise when you slam the door open just as his hand moves towards the door handle, he jumps back with a pounding heart and a rush of emotions fills him.

a mix of relief, remnants of his previous frustration, pure joy, and cockiness fill him as he sees you back in your home, his hands almost grab you into a hug but instead clench into fists and tighten beside his body.

“missed me already?” his lips curl into a smirk and your glare hardens, but you give him the sweetest smile in return, and yoongi’s eyebrows scrunch in confusion.

you looked furious when you left so, yoongi didn’t understand the smile on your face even if his heart jumped at the smile he hadn’t seen for a while now.

“don’t flatter yourself, min yoongi, i’m not back for you, i’m back for my apartment” you sing to him as you purposefully shove his shoulder on your way in, even running your suitcase on his toes accidentally as you walk past.

he winces and curls to grab his stinging foot, “what the fuck is wrong with you?” yoongi growls, any idea of needing you had left him swiftly as his anger returned with a vengeance.

“oops, sorry, didn’t see your foot there” you tried not to snicker as you said but you still had that shit-eating grin on your face and yoongi huffed, annoyance filling his every crevice.

“okay, what are you doing back here? i clearly remember you hoping that this roof falls on my head, did you come back for it to fall on yours too?” yoongi followed you as you walked to the guest bedroom, his footsteps speeding up to catch your pace but you remained one step ahead.

“you mean, what am i doing in my house? i don’t know yoongi, what do people do in their houses?” your voice was sickeningly sweet and yoongi ran a hand across his face in exasperation, “this is our house, can you stop being sarcastic for one minute and give me a straight answer?”

“as far as i remember and you are free to correct me, both of our names are on the lease, making both of us rightful owners, why would i go anywhere else when i have a home right here?” you level your glare with him as he stares back with an unreadable expression, “are you doing this just to be petty?” yoongi thought you had come back for him but now knowing that you didn’t, filled his chest with a bitter, ugly feeling.

“i have no idea what you are talking about, i am just choosing to live in my house” you shrug your shoulders as you put your clothes into the guest room’s closet, yoongi looks away with furrowed eyebrows, “stop calling it your house, it is our house” your hand paused at the longing in his voice but remembering all the nights you went to bed crying because of him, pushed you to just keep arranging your things.

“it is mine and yours, not ours,” you concluded and yoongi tried to shake off how heavy your words made him feel, “besides, i won’t even be bothering you anymore, think of us as roommates and nothing more until i find a new place.”

“roommates?”

“roommates.”

“you are going to find a new place?” yoongi asks, shifting on his feet, it was strange to see you occupying a different part of the house.

“of course, why would i stay here with you for longer than required?” you planned to just ruin his life for a little while and then leave to a place where you could finally breathe.

you just staying here would ruin it enough, you thought.

“you shouldn’t even be staying here right now” he bit back, masking the ache in his heart with insults he normally wouldn’t even think of uttering but that confirmed it for you that your decision to stay bothered him and that satiated your petty heart.

“if you have a problem with me staying, you can leave and find a new place” you gave him a large, sarcastic grin and yoongi’s eyes further narrowed on you. “i don’t give a fuck about you staying or leaving, just stay out of my way” yoongi mumbled and slammed the guest door shut.

you rolled your eyes as you continued shoving your belongings in place, you couldn’t wait for this lease to be over, just as much as he did.

-

the lease was supposed to be renewed after three months and you were hoping to find a place by then because as much as you taunted yoongi, you were planning to move out the next chance you get because you couldn’t stay around him and hate yourself for liking him still.

you spent the first two weeks, mostly staying out of home, you couldn’t stand seeing him working all day, even at home. that was why you two had fought and ultimately broken up over, and as much as you hated to admit it, you were hurt that he didn’t even try to change his ways.

your eyes glared at the eggs sizzling in the pan sitting in front of you as your hands tightened impossibly around the spatula you held.

were you supposed to cook eggs with a spatula?

were the eggs supposed to look that dark in color?

was whatever you’re holding, even a spatula?

your head tilted in confusion as you tried to rake your brain for things you learned from cooking shows and let out a sigh of frustration as the eggs you flipped had smoke coming out of them.

you never had to worry about cooking, as busy as yoongi got, he always made sure you at least had leftovers to heat up before he left for work but you would rather plunge yourself on a bed of legos than ask him to make your food.

besides, you could do this yourself, you have done much more difficult things than this in life, a couple of eggs and bread weren’t going to be that hard.

“are you seriously using a scooper?” you heard a low, groggy voice from across the room and you sucked in a breath, face heating up in embarrassment.

so, you weren’t using a spatula after all.

you stiffly nodded and yoongi snickered, “if you need a ride to the hospital after eating whatever you made, i will be happy to take you.”

you turned around with an annoyed huff, “as if you have time for anything besides being holed up in your studio, i will die before you even come and get me.” yoongi’s jaw tightened as you pointed your spatula (scooper) at him, and then, he released a long breath as another grin graced his face, “so, you agree? you agree that you will end up in the hospital after eating this?”

“even if i do, i don’t see how it’s any of your goddamn business, min yoongi, just make your fucking breakfast and don’t be such an insufferable roommate” maybe your words were harsher than needed, but you couldn’t stand being around him and not hurt him, as he had hurt you over the course of the past few weeks.

yoongi didn’t retaliate which only made you feel worse, but you held your chin high in defiance of your own guilt as he did exactly as you told, he kept quiet and made his breakfast.

and of course, he made a huge spread of everything from bagels to smoothies to chocolate pancakes, he put them right in front of you as he sat on the opposite side of the long island table as you stared down at your burnt eggs and bread with a clenched jaw.

for yoongi, work could wait right now but annoying you couldn’t.

“i hope you enjoy your breakfast, y/n, if you can call it that” yoongi gave you his brightest smile yet, the stretch on his face covering the otherwise sarcastic tone “because i know i will enjoy mine” he finished by shoving a forkful of the cream cheese and chicken bagel that he knows is your favorite. he knows how much you loved it when he made it for you after a night full of love and attention.

you glare at him with annoyance crawling up your arms and legs as he lets out a moan of approval at the bite, obviously putting on a show to piss you off more, your mouth waters involuntarily as he chews slowly with nods and loud hums of satisfaction but what finally drives you mad, is when he lifts his head from eating and gives you a cheeky wink.

your hands gripping the table's edge turn white as you forcedly push your body away from the table, abandoning your sad excuse of breakfast and stomping out of the room.

you hate that you can hear yoongi’s sinister laughter even after you slam your door shut.

-

this is what continues for you both, you accidentally unplug his computers, he accidentally drops juice on you right before you go to work, you accidentally break his speakers, and he accidentally puts your night plushie in the washing machine and reduces it to nothing but a shapeless fluff. the cycle continues, both of you determined to not let the other breathe peacefully, every night you slept while making a plan to destroy his day, and every morning you woke up to execute it.

it was childish, immature but it gave you the satisfaction you craved. seeing his usually passive face become irritated or waking up to his screams of frustration and curses filled you to the brim with joy.

you did start to question why you enjoyed it so much though, sure you wanted to give him hell but the whole process of planning it wasn’t what made you satisfied, it was purely his reaction to it.

“you just want his attention again” your dear friend, jennie, mutters as she glares at you while sipping her bubble tea. you immediately scoff at her; she had no idea what she was talking about.

“no, i want him to suffer” you correct her and she shakes her head at you, putting her drink down and leaning forward with furrowed eyebrows. “i worry about you, you know.”

“why? i’m perfectly fine” you shrug because you don’t see anything that she needs to worry about, you are moving on, you are making yoongi suffer like you wanted to, your work performance is still intact, and everything was smooth sailing. “no, you are not. i thought it was weird that you wanted to stay in the same house as your ex, but i didn’t say anything because you were in a sensitive place then. now, you have to admit that you are delaying staying away from him.”

“i’m staying in a house that i own and that i am paying rent for, it has nothing to do with min yoongi.” you jab a finger on the table as irritation fills you, but you also feel embarrassed? humiliation crawls on your insides as you try to maintain a passive face. jennie’s face softens and she reaches out for your hand, “i know how much he hurt you, don’t punish yourself by thinking you have to prove to anyone that you want to hurt him as he did you. your pain doesn’t need justification.”

-

you couldn’t sleep that night, all you could think of was jennie’s face as she uttered those words, her gentle hands keeping you anchored to the real world, the world where min yoongi shredded you to pieces without caring or knowing about it. before you know it, you feel tears escape down the side of your eyes and your hand shakily reaches out to muffle your sobs.

why couldn’t you just stop caring?

why couldn’t you up and leave?

what kept you tethered to a relationship that was void before you ever called it off?

and why couldn’t you just fucking stop crying?

you wanted to let your hand go, so yoongi can listen to your wails, to what he’s done to you, the damage he’s caused, the broken pieces that you struggle to pick up, maybe in some sick way, you want him to come and wipe your tears away, maybe you just want him to show up this once, to make up for all the months he didn’t. but you don’t let it go, you hold it tighter against your face because as much as you want him to know, you can’t. you can’t have him find out that your tears were because and for him.

-

you didn’t have to justify your pain but you did have to prove that you were moving on, so against jennie’s and all your friend’s better judgment, you decided a date night would just be enough to prove that you didn’t care about yoongi or whatever you had with him anymore.

you hummed lightly as you got your favorite dress out, it had an open back and whenever you wore it, yoongi couldn’t stop touchin-

this isn’t about him.

you huff in annoyance at your own thoughts as you lay your dress down on the bed, you are not thinking about him, not today and not ever, today is only about your date, you are going to have a good time, get lightly tipsy, and maybe even have a full-blown make out session if you get drunk enough for it and you will not think of yoongi at all.

you took a deep breath in as you started doing your makeup.

how long has it been since you got ready for a date? at least, a date that didn’t get canceled as soon as you were ready. your makeup brush slows in your hand as your heart starts feeling heavy again. you didn’t bother getting ready for anything if it was not with yoongi even when he canceled, even when he pleaded with you that he would be there and left you hanging.

you gave such little regard for yourself and you feel angry that you didn’t put yourself first, that you didn’t fight him right then and there, you feel irritated that you quenched your needs for as long as he made you wait.

 you start getting ready with more aggression after that, you were definitely going to put yourself first now, yoongi gets none of you. you don’t need him for anything anymore.

except for maybe one thing.

you stand in front of the mirror with a scowl, your arms awkwardly bent to try and zip your dress up but your fingers are just out of reach for it, you start to hop awkwardly hoping that somehow hopping around will magically zip your dress up and start to groan in frustration.

“are you auditioning to be a kangaroo?”

you pause with gritted teeth at his amused voice coming from the doorway that you didn’t realize was wide open all this time.

this can’t be happening right now.

“can you fuck off?”

“and you will go out with your zip wide open, got it, i will be taking my leave.” He snickers and starts to head out, only to pause when a whine comes up your throat, you bite your lip to swallow your pride because you don’t want to ask him, but you have no choice.

“yoongi, can y-“

“can i?” he turns around in a flash, leaning against the doorway with a smirk on his face, that you want to slap off.

“can you zip my dress up?” you mumble out in a rush and shift your feet to face him with half your body. yoongi whistles, looking away, acting like he didn’t hear you at all, and your eyes drop into a glare, you can already feel your irritation crawling up your skin.

“you heard me, stop acting like a kid.” you scowl at him as you stomp your foot.

“i did but a ‘please’ would be nice, you know, zipping a dress is tough work and i can’t just hand it out for free.” he was enjoying this way too much but his heart was dipping continuously as he kept looking at you from the corner of his eye.

when was the last time he saw you, all dressed up?

why can’t he remember the last time he took you out?

why can’t he remember the last time he fell asleep and woke up with you?

he clears his throat loudly as he makes his way across the room, your glare stays on yoongi as he approaches you but you don’t miss how his eyes stay downward as he walks with slow steps. you tilt your head in confusion as you push your hair to the side, to let him zip you up.

but he never does.

he stands behind you, looking in the mirror as you hold your hair up, he looks at you through the mirror, and your eyes meet his.

yoongi doesn’t look away.

you don’t look away.

your zip is long but forgotten.

and suddenly, you feel like the room is running out of air for you to breathe in.

you hadn’t been this close to yoongi in so long.

you can’t tell if he’s thinking the same thing, you can’t tell if he’s finding it hard to find air right now too, you can’t tell if his heart is beating as loudly as yours.

but sorrow fills you because, in all these months, yoongi has come this close to you, only to zip the dress that you’re wearing on a date with someone else.

“yoongi.” you whisper, so quietly, so delicately, as if you can’t bear to utter his name but you have to.

“right, zip.” he shakes his head at himself, quickly looking downwards and his hand’s ghost on the skin exposed to him, yoongi is suddenly unsure if he can zip you up or not, he’s unsure if his hands will let him only zip you up, he’s unsure of where that would lead to.

“where are you headed to?” yoongi tries to sound casual as clears his throat and his fingers finally catch the small zip at the dip of your dress, he takes his sweet time dragging it up, his eyes savoring every inch of skin he hasn’t touched.

you hesitate, you don’t want to tell him. actually, maybe you do, maybe you wanted him to know before but after the shift in the very air around you, it feels wrong. “a date.” your answer leaves you in a choke, just as he finishes pulling the zip all the way to the top.

he removes his hands from you like he’s been stung, and he steps back, yoongi doesn’t even breathe as he stands unmoving.

air rushes in your lungs once you notice the conflict in yoongi’s eyes, once you recognize the conflict forming a knot in your stomach and even air seems like too much for you.

the moment is over and you can feel your defenses climbing up too.

you are ready to fight him, you are ready to argue that you both were done, and that what you do with your time is none of his business and it never will be, and that you can kiss, fuck, do whatever you want with whomever you want.

because you two were done.

because you two were done.

that statement didn’t feel real until this second. something about the statement felt like the most incorrect thing in the world to yoongi.

but he won’t say it.

he won’t hurt you anymore.

he can’t hurt you anymore.

“have fun.” his words are low, and curt and they fall into the silence around you both in a loud thud as yoongi quickly walks out of the room.

you are left in your dress, with a date you were going to be late to and a heart so heavy, you feel that you will drop it at your doorstep before heading out.

-

“isn’t that so exciting?” your date beams at you.

he’s cute, well accomplished from what you’re told and he seems interested in you.

you wish you could say the same.

but all your responses to him have been one-line sentences and tight smiles.

along with your pre-existing obsessive thoughts of yoongi and that goddamn zip, guilt bleeds into your system and so does dread.

guilt, because your date is as good as dates come, and he already mentioned that he would be more than willing to take time out for you and that he will be available whenever you want, that the next date will be whenever you are comfortable.

which should excite you.

which should delight you.

it should make you the happiest person in the world that he’s so openly giving you his time even if you are meeting him for the first time, it should make you the happiest that he seems enamored by you, that he wants to know so much about you. your friend had mentioned that this guy had been asking about you for a while and that when she asked, he had jumped in joy at the idea of going on a date with you, this should make you happy.

but it doesn’t, it sits bitterly in your mouth that it doesn’t make you feel a single thing.

you felt a million more flutters, kicks, and tingles in that one-minute yoongi zipped your dress up than you have for the past hour sitting opposite to your date.

dread also, slowly but surely, starts to consume you from the inside out. it scares you that maybe you will never feel all of that with another person, that you have somehow run out of sensation when it comes to someone else, it scares you that this might be forever, that you will never truly move on, that you can ever only pretend to move on.

maybe if someone else touches you.

maybe if someone else feels you.

maybe you have a chance of forgetting the ghost that yoongi left on your skin, maybe if someone else kisses you, you will be able to forget how his lips felt.

maybe if someone else could be exactly like yoongi but not like yoongi at the same time, you can survive this.

there’s no one like yoongi.

and you can’t do this anymore.

you stand up abruptly, your mind too loud to let you sit and listen to one more word that didn’t come from yoongi. your date sits up alarmed, quickly reaching for your hand to ask you what was wrong, to check up on you.

he is touching you.

his hands grip your fingers tightly.

he won’t let go until you do.

there is security in his touch.

but.

nothing.

you feel nothing.

your breathing stills at the realization.

your body doesn’t even bother with his hands on yours, it doesn’t even register that a person is holding your hand, asking if you’re okay. your body hates you.

before you know it, you are rushing out a half-assed apology and running out of the restaurant leaving your date confused and hurt.

you wish you could turn back and tell him you felt the same.

you were confused and hurt too, just for someone else.

-

a defeated weight held your head down as you walk back to your home.

the home that you share with your ex.

if you were in a better mood, you would maybe laugh at the situation you’ve put yourself in, maybe laugh at how ridiculous all of this is but you can’t bring yourself to even walk without feeling like the world was crashing on you.

yoongi heard your footsteps out in the corridor and he jumps back from the door he had pressed his ear against, running to the couch before you reach the doorknob. and just as the door clicks open, he snuggles himself into the blanket on the couch and evens his breath to pretend like he’s just casually fallen asleep on the sofa with a movie playing.

he wasn’t pacing by the front door a million times, trying to listen in to when you would come back.

he wasn’t going to reach for his car keys and come to find you.

and yoongi definitely didn’t feel the jealousy burning in his throat since the second you walked out for a date with someone else.

yoongi hears a thud and opens his eyes to the smallest amount he can see.

and he sees you.

that dress still takes his breath away.

but he can hear your breathing too.

it’s uneven, rough, and too quick, just like how it always is when you feel overwhelmed or frustrated.

yoongi stiffens in his position, both concern and anger filling him and the blanket slips from his shoulder a little.

was it because of your date?

did he do something to you?

were you alright?

his heart thumps uncomfortably as your step near his figure, he doesn’t know if you can tell that he’s pretending or not.

then you sit right by where he’s laid, on the floor, another defeated sigh leaving your lips, and yoongi wonders of the ways he could kill your date for making you like this.

little did he know, it was because of him.

“i can’t do it, yoongi” you whisper, seemingly to no one even if you use his name like you don’t want him to hear and yoongi confirms that you believe his act.

“i can’t seem to move on” a sad and tired chuckle follows that sentence and yoongi’s skin burns underneath the blanket, he’s never heard you this way. “and i know you have, i know you moved on a long time, long before we ever broke up but i can’t. even if you have, i can’t.” tears build in your eyes as you try to blink them away, you felt ridiculous, talking to him when he was asleep.

but you couldn’t help it, there was so much you wanted to say but you never got the chance to.

“i can’t hate you for moving on, but i can hate our situation for making it so hard for me to move on, i can hate myself for ever loving you, i can hate a lot of things” you nod to yourself, yoongi’s fists curl on his chest, if only he could throw the blanket away and take you in his arms. if only it was that easy.

“i can’t hate you, i can never hate you” you finish, your head falls with the weight of every thought you had.

if only you could tell him this when he wasn’t sleeping, if only he made it easier for you to say it to him.

yoongi’s lips purse, out of all the things he thought you would end the sentence with, that wasn’t one of them.

he was prepared for you to insult him in the vilest way possible.

he was prepared for you to blame him; he was prepared to take the blame.

but he wasn’t prepared for what you said or how you said it.

he wasn’t prepared for the sad kind of joy that filled his heart.

his joy was a paradox, too many faces for him to feel it at all.

you got up, turning the television off and pausing to look at him before you disappeared into your room and prepared yourself for yet another day of pretending to hate him.

yoongi could feel the weight of your gaze on him. he foolishly wonders if his hair is looking okay today, if the pajamas he chose today looked good on him, if he was looking presentable.

he can’t help it, you are standing in your prettiest dress and yoongi knows no one can be more beautiful than you, in that dress, in any dress, or in nothing at all. he only wants to be worthy of you.

then you do something that makes yoongi choke back a long breath.

you tuck his blanket back in place and your hands make quick work to cover his ears sufficiently.

it’s a simple action but it makes yoongi feel everything he did for you when he confessed his crush to you all those years ago.

then you step back and pad away quickly to your room and once your door falls shut, yoongi sits up immediately, breathing heavily.

he buries his head in his hands as frustration and something so similar to grief run through him in waves.

was he really stupid enough to let you go?

why did he feel regret now, when everything was concluded?

why did you have to tell him all of that?

his heart ached, his fingers ached, all of it was for you. and he looks at your door longingly.

you were wrong, yoongi thought. yoongi would die before he ever moved on from you.

and he never really let up a chance to prove you wrong.

at your door, his hand pauses in the middle of knocking when he hears your sobs on the other side.

if someone ripped his heart out, it would probably hurt less than this.

how badly he wanted to break down the door and hug you until your tears became his.

how badly he wished to caress your hair until you fell asleep.

how badly he wished you would fall asleep in his arms.

how badly he wished, against his awareness of the selfish nature of his wish, to see you in that dress one last time.

yoongi could open the door, he could do all of this, he could grant himself everything he wishes for but the door wasn’t the only barrier between you two and he became painfully aware of all the invisible barriers you both held up now.

he can’t just leave and come back when he wants, it wasn’t fair on you.

so, yoongi, regretfully and slowly, takes a step back and disappears into his studio where he catches no sleep.

but hey, he could at least finish a song that night.

that night, yoongi knew he was lying to himself if he said that he didn’t love you anymore. but he was also on thin ice with you, yoongi was going to try his best to stay on the surface.

this would be the last song he would make for a while, he had more important things on his checklist.

-

the smell of-

was that cream cheese?

your groggy, half-asleep mind somehow registers the waft of bagels and cream cheese in the air, which is enough to pull yourself out of bed.

with tangled hair and puffy eyes, you pad into the kitchen with a narrowed gaze.

of course, it’s yoongi.

you glare at his back which moves constantly to put together a cream cheese and chicken bagel which was, as mentioned, your favorite. usually, you would appreciate this view, usually, you would go give him a back-hug as he cooked for you but you knew it wasn’t for you.

“do you have to torture me like this?” you whine out, and yoongi snickers, his apron tightening around his waist as he turns around to look at you, “good morning to you too, you look bright as ever this morning” he gives you his best smile and you return a sarcastic one.

despite his aloof attitude, yoongi was trembling on the inside because he knows there is no single right way to win you back, he would have to earn it, and he would have to work on it every single day.

but if it was going to take forever to win you back, yoongi would try forever.

you buried your pounding head in your hands as you took a seat at the table, wondering how you were going to cook for yourself again without accidentally setting something or yourself on fire.

then, a glass of water with advil comes into view and you look up to see yoongi immediately backing away to work on breakfast again.

“are you trying to drug me?”

“is it working?”

you can’t help the small smile forming at his amused tone, but you don’t say anything which makes yoongi sigh in failing irritation. “come on, it’s just advil. you don’t need me to drug you, you do that with your cooking every day.”

“geez, thanks for reminding me i’m not freaking gordon ramsay in the kitchen” you continue his banter, somehow, you’re in a good mood even after how terribly last night ended. you go mute when he places a plate filled with your favorite bagel, an omelet, bacon, and even mini jam sandwiches in it.

you just stare at the plate before dragging your gaze to yoongi who turns away once again, this time with a dust of pink on his full cheeks that you catch.

“your side of the table is that way” you point to the opposite side, albeit regretfully because it’s been a while since you have had a proper, not-burnt breakfast, but he must have mistakenly placed this beautiful plate of food in front of you.

it has to be a mistake.

there’s no other reason for yoongi to feed you.

but oh, yoongi’s just so full of surprises.

“that one’s for you.” he shrugs casually as if it was normal to make you breakfast, after he’s only eaten it in front of you for a few weeks.

“what?”

“do you have hearing problems?”

“do you have mental problems?”

“yeah, but a dining table is hardly an appropriate place to discuss those, don’t you think?” maybe it was his flat tone as he said, indicative of his sense of humor, maybe you were just in a more fantastic mood than you had anticipated.

but you burst out laughing. you couldn’t help it; your laughter took over your entire system.

you can’t remember the last time you laughed like that.

yoongi had always managed to make you laugh or smile; this magical ability made you fall for him hard and fast, and after a rough day, he was the reason you at least slept peacefully, when you were together.

when you were together.

right, that wasn’t you two anymore.

that realization slows your laughter to a hesitant chuckle, yoongi wishes he didn’t notice that shift.

"don’t try to cook ever again if you want this roof over our head.” he jokes again as he sits down on his side of the table, suddenly the table seems too long to him and he hopes you’ll laugh again.

"are you saying you'll kick me out?" you dramatically gasp at him with an undeniable smile on your face.

it’s all right, yoongi will take a smile too.

"I’m saying you'll burn it down.” he continues with a playful whine that has you giggling again, swinging your legs under the table, a true indicator of your happiness in that minute which yoongi doesn’t miss.

“don’t you have work today?” you ask, finally digging into your food as yoongi does to his.

god, that’s good.

you swear his hands are magic.

“i took the day off” yoongi shrugs again, the second time he’s shrugging over things that aren’t half as casual as he makes them seem.

as long as you know, yoongi only ever took one day off, which was on your first anniversary.

he was always late to the other anniversaries.

you try not to think of that now, especially when both of you were in a civil mood.

“why, are you sick or something?” though concern fills you, you don’t let it show as you stuff your mouth.

“nope, just like that.” you hum in reply with poorly contained surprise.

“i don’t have work today either.” you don’t know why you tell him but you do.

“i know.”

“okay.”

“okay.”

you feel embarrassed at the disappointment that filled you when he didn’t say anything about it, what did you expect he was going to do, ask you for a date? if he wanted to, he would have done it when you were together.

“do you want to watch a movie?”

you almost drop your fork.

yoongi is surely full of surprises because you don’t even process his request for a second.

“what?”

“do you really have hearing problems?”

“no, i just didn’t quite catch what you said. are you asking me to watch a movie with you?” you repeat his words in disbelief, the plate of food that you loved so much, completely forgotten on the table.

“yes, that is what i said.” he confirms and you tilt your head in suspicion that yoongi notices too quickly which causes him to rush out, “as roommates.” it pains him to say it but he can’t come up with anything else to convince you.

“as roommates?” your confusion only grows.

“as roommates.”

“but why?” you can’t help but ask.

“just think of it as me trying not to be an insufferable roommate” he offers his explanation and in theory, in practicality, it makes perfect sense.

but both of you know it’s not that simple.

nevertheless, you don’t pry anymore.

yoongi’s shoulders fall in defeat when you don’t agree or deny, he just watches you continue to eat his food with furrowed eyebrows.

he took it too far, he should’ve stopped with breakfast today and tried to convince you to a movie another day, when you’ve warmed up more to him. you are probably still stuck in whatever happened last night and want your space.

“there’s this new horror one i saw on instagram the other day, i must have the link somewhere, i’ll put it on in a bit.” you look away with heated cheeks as you struggle to swallow your food.

oh.

you just agreed to the movie.

yoongi believes he could fly.

-

“man, this is not as scary as everyone said it was” you complain through a mouthful of popcorn, and yoongi nods in agreement, stuffing his face with a handful of popcorn too.

“by the way” yoongi sits up after hours of slouching on the couch and you signal for him to continue. “how did your date go yesterday?” he mutters, as casually as he could, reaching for more popcorn to avoid the tension surrounding the question.

last night comes back in flashes, your cute date, running away from the cute date, coming home to yoongi and confessing you would never get over him, covering him with a blanket and crying yourself to sleep.

shit, did he hear you?

“it went well, i came home pretty late though.” the lie tumbles out of you in lack of a better response.

yoongi knows you’re lying but he’s happy to play along with you because last night did a number on him too.

“glad to know it went well. i wouldn’t know when you came, i fell asleep watching some documentary” he munches on his popcorn loudly, he misses the error in his lie.

he wasn’t watching a documentary.

he was watching ‘finding nemo’.

and you know that because you were the one who shut the tv off.

you know that he’s lying. but instead of confronting him about that and that possibly leading to a conversation about what you uttered into the night, thinking he was asleep, wasn’t a risk you were willing to take.

“right, i did see you asleep.”

and i poured my heart out, right next to you.

yoongi in unaware his lie is caught; you prefer that he stays unaware. because if anything you said last night is what prompted him to act the way he did today, you are glad it didn’t all go to waste.

“we should sleep” he slouches back on the couch, too close to you, he’s hyperaware of your arms pressing against his but now that he’s already fallen back, he can’t quite get up as easily anymore.

he doesn’t want to get up.

“we should.” you agree.

neither of you moves a single inch.

laughter explodes into the room at that, both of your heads falling to the side to look at each other with squinted eyes full of happiness.

but when the laughter dies down and you are left to catch your breath, you are suddenly too aware of yoongi’s face being so close to yours, you don’t move away.

yoongi knows you know that you two are far too close.

he doesn’t move away either.

you start to lean in, your body is on autopilot as your hands sneak up to sit on the top of his knee, yoongi shudders from your touch.

how long had he gone without it?

how had he survived for so long?

how did his heart continue to beat without yours in his hands?

he panics internally as his hands come up to grab onto the sides of your face, like he won’t let go, like letting you go once was enough pain for him.

and when your lips touch, every bit of control you had left on your body evaporates into the air around you, you are grabbing his hair, and he is pulling you closer, and not once do you stop to take a breath.

because you know that when this moment is over, both of you won’t speak a word about it.

you can’t remember the last time yoongi kissed you this way, like his hands would disappear if they weren’t holding you, like his entire life purpose was to take your breath away and never give it back, like every part of him had been aching to do this.

and then it does end, painfully, too slowly, you pull away before your chest burns away, he pulls away because he has to.

you were right.

you don’t speak a word about it.

-

there was no ‘good night’ after that, there was no ‘see you later’, there was nothing left in that moment except the hope stored away in yoongi’s eyes. you pretend you don’t notice it as you, once again, eat the food he makes you in the morning.

yoongi knows he has to say sorry though, he hadn’t planned on that happening, he was just another lucky idiot that night, he was aware enough to know it wasn’t right for two to do that even if you’ve been together for years.

things were different and yoongi always hated change but he had to overcome this change instead of walking away from it, if he wanted to even dream of having you back.

so, he is the one who starts the uncomfortable conversation that you’d been anxiously waiting for.

“about last night-“

“you don’t have to worry about it.” you answer, as quick as lighting, and you even surprise yourself with your speed.

“oh?” yoongi raises an eyebrow at you.

what the fuck was he supposed to understand from that?

“come on yoongi, it’s not like we haven’t done it before” your chuckle following your words, is uncomfortable, tight, and completely unnatural.

“right” yoongi drawls, still not quite getting what you were hinting at.

were you okay with it?

were you not?

would he just have to kiss you again to find out?

“it was just a mistake, it happens, it’s not a big deal, i’m still moving out, you are still very much in love with your career, we don’t have to discuss it anymore” you eat as you speak, trying to bury the longing and bitterness in your voice with cold cereal.

so, that is what you meant.

yoongi doesn’t reply as his head stays down, he gets up soon after, cleaning up after himself and you, he doesn’t speak a single word or spare you a glance and disappears into his studio.

you are all too familiar with this scene.

you only watch as he does all this, you wouldn’t admit to another living soul that your heart grew heavier than it had ever been and that your chest felt tight enough to snap.

yoongi angrily walks around his studio, you could think it was a mistake but yoongi would break his computer before calling it a mistake.

but he realized he still had a long way to go.

yoongi had to be patient, he had no other choice.

but he doesn’t realize every second he goes by without telling you what was weighing on his heart, was another second your already dying hope vanished.

he can’t help but think back on the day he overheard you talking to your friend about your relationship, he subconsciously never really let go of that day, that day, he concluded that it was out of yoongi’s hands to do anything.

“i can’t believe you called, it’s been way too long” he heard your sigh of happiness outside the door, and yoongi paused, he doesn’t exactly know why he stayed to listen but he does.

your relationship, by then, had already been on the rocks, but neither of you acknowledged it.

“i wasn’t going to call, but rumi was telling me you were on a date with a certain someone” your friend sang from the other side of the speaker, clearly trying to tease you but you don’t say anything to that.

yoongi knows why you went silent, making him dig his heels deeper and listen closely to see what you would say.

“yeah, about that” you let out a hesitant chuckle, your voice struggling to keep your cheery tone. “hey, you good? what happened?” your friend’s concern was palpable and yoongi almost scoffed at her, he cared about you too, it wasn’t just her.

but yoongi couldn’t deny the weeks you both had gone without so much as exchanging a proper conversation.

yoongi would never take the blame for it, though.

“we didn’t end up going” yoongi peeks through the door to see your face turned away from the camera and he hated that he noticed the pain etched in your furrowed eyebrows. your friend stayed silent at your simple, but heavy answer, she could tell this wasn’t the first time it happened.

“but today is your anniversary?”

“it is.” you agree with a gulp, still refusing to meet her gaze.

“how long has this been going on?” her voice comes softly, so softly that your chin starts to wobble.

“nothing’s been going on, yoongi and i are fine.” you wanted to believe your words but anyone with two eyes and ears could see nothing was fine with you two.

“is that what you are telling yourself?”

“what else am i supposed to do?” your glare turns sharp and angry, you were fed up with everyone coddling you, you felt claustrophobic enough when you were with yourself.

“you know, if you want to cry, you can. none of us would judge you, you know that very well.” she tries to comfort you and yoongi’s breath turns impatient.

why was she trying so hard to convince you something was wrong, when you were telling her that everything was fine?

why did yoongi feel like she was trying to start a fight?

why did yoongi, a small part of him, feel like a fight was inevitable?

“there’s nothing to cry about, my boyfriend is just busy for an anniversary that might come again, it isn’t as important as what he does.” as you say it, a dread falls over both you and yoongi that there might not be another anniversary.

his heart free falls to his feet.

he had been busy; he wasn’t lying about that but yoongi hadn’t checked on you all this while. he can’t remember how many dates he canceled.

but that wasn’t his fault, that was life, that was his life and you knew about his life before you entered it.

it couldn’t be yoongi’s fault, it had to be yours.

yoongi’s eyebrows scrunch in bitterness at the defeat in your voice, at the absurdity of the situation he never thought you two would have to be in, at the world for keeping you apart.

he looks away just when your sobs break the silence in the room.

“i thought i couldn’t breathe without yoongi, but i am, i am living many days without him, with only glances of him, i am living and breathing.” yoongi’s head leaves the doorway before you finish your sentence. if you wanted to live without him, he would let you go, he didn’t need you to stay out of pity.

“but it all hurts, and i don’t want to do any of that without him” is what he fails to catch in his anger.

yoongi looks back at the day mournfully now, he should’ve taken you out right then and there, he shouldn’t have given up just because it seemed like you did, his head falls in his hands as he rakes his hands through his hair in agitated motions.

he wasn’t sure if he could win you back.

but he wasn’t going to give up, he wasn’t going to make that mistake again.

-

your days continued, as usual, he made you breakfast and packed you lunch, did your laundry and set them aside, he made sure you ate after you got off work and you both watched a movie or listened to songs together, or anything at all, together at the end of the day.

you were feeling good.

too good.

things were going well enough to make you nervous because suddenly, everything you knew from your breakup to the two weeks of enmity that followed those two weeks, changed drastically.

it felt like everything went back to the way it was and as much as you should be enjoying it, you didn’t, without confirmation of where you both stood, you couldn’t.

and soon, there came a catalyst that changed everything once again.

it was a mistake.

yoongi would never intentionally do this.

he took your pile of clothes as he usually does, placing them in a bucket and preparing to do your laundry along with his.

yoongi’s heart thrums in satisfaction as he places them in the washing machine, he always felt good doing chores for you, he doesn’t know why and with how well things were going, he dances and sings his way to the laundry detergent and whistles happily as he pours it heavily over your clothes, making sure to add extra fabric softener.

he leaves to do some light work in his studio, not knowing the mistake he committed.

yoongi was gunning to ruin your life, you were so sure of it.

nothing else could explain your sopping wet blouses, supposed to be white, at your feet.

you gape in horror as you pick the pile apart frantically to search for any blouses that could be salvaged, after all, these were all you wore to work, and your head falls in defeat once you see all of them in multi-colors instead of their usual stark white.

your hands tighten by your side as you feel hot all over with pure rage, you quickly grab the ex-white blouses and storm into the living room where yoongi scrolls casually on his phone, his pout whistles out tunes which fade away as he catches sight of your heavy steps towards him.

you throw your blouses at his feet and your nose flares, yoongi jumps in his seat.

“what the fuck happened?” he gasps out, not understanding the anger in your eyes.

“yoongi, this isn’t funny.” you manage to say beyond gritted teeth and he scrunches his eyebrows.

“what isn’t funny?” he frowns in confusion.

“stop acting dumb, i will fucking force detergent down your throat” that raises concern in him, he looks down at the pile of clothes by his feet.

none of the whites were whites anymore.

fuck.

“okay, listen i swear this is an accident, i’ll get you new on-“

“i wear these to work! what is wrong with you?” you point down at the pathetic pile of clothes by his feet with hands shaking from anger.

“you know, i wouldn’t do this intentionally, i am aware you wear these to work, let’s go out now and get you new shirts, i’m sure some shops will be open” he gets up from his seat, searching for his keys.

“don’t act dumb yoongi, it doesn’t suit you at all.”

yoongi starts getting frustrated, why don’t you believe him?

“let’s go and get them before the shops close” he tries to remain calm.

“i’m not going anywhere with you.” you stay rooted in your place and yoongi’s patience starts to run thin. “i’m telling you, it was a mistake, i’m not crazy enough to do this intentionally, now let’s not fight and get you shirts you need for tomorrow before we can’t.”

“don’t act like you are some hero, you are the one who ruined them!” you don’t understand why you are so angry or why you can’t seem to move from where you stood.

“and i’m trying to fix it.” he grumbles out, slamming the keys on the counter beside him.

you stare at the keys with heavy breaths and he stares at you, his anger melting as quickly as it came to the surface.

“let’s go.” he takes the keys in his hands again.

maybe it was the confusion that finally manifested with an ugly head.

maybe you hated how comfortable you got around yoongi again.

maybe you are seeing nothing but all his mistakes until that minute.

maybe you aren’t being fair at all.

but you snap.

“you think you are the only one who does important work?” you didn’t mean to get personal or bring up the topic that broke you both up again, but you couldn’t help it. your arms cross against your chest as yoongi spins on his heels to turn back to you.

“what’s that supposed to mean?”

“you clearly think you are the only one in the entire world who does meaningful work, the rest of us are just slaving away for money and security, but of course, the great min yoongi works for the greater good, for the comfort of many, for millions who adore him, that is why any work that is not his, is not valuable” your voice drips with venom and mocking as you take slow steps towards him, yoongi’s face falls into his usual glare as he watches you speak.

you poke your finger against his chest, your voice quivering with poorly controlled fury, “who the fuck do you think you are? do you think that writing a few songs and getting some records will erase how horrible you make people you are supposed to love, feel? do you think that you can get away with everything because your name is not just a name, but also a brand? i can at least say that my name belongs and serves only me, can you? you are nothing but walking merchandise that anyone can buy.” again, you never meant to say all of that, you know better than to call anyone an object but that was the thing about your anger, your anger had the power of making you say the most vicious words in the world and you had never learned to control it.

“you don’t mean that” yoongi forces himself to say because those words from anyone else, wouldn’t mean jack shit to him but coming from you, they speared his heart over and over again. he waits, he waits with his sinking heart that you would agree with him, he doesn’t believe in god but at that moment, he wished for every power to let you agree with him.

the air grew heavier around you both as you let out a sarcastic laugh.

“i have never meant anything more. you fucked with my work life, you know how much of an asshole my manager is about dress codes but you did the one thing that could ruin weeks of work for me, and you did it all by yourself, so congratulations min yoongi, you have once again proved to be the worst thing to ever happen to me” you clapped slowly as you stepped away from him, your face grim and dark as you turn away.

yoongi’s heart clenches as your words circle his body in a dangerous tornado.

walking merchandise that anyone can buy.

walking merchandise that anyone can buy.

walking merchandise that anyone can buy.

walking merchandise that anyone can b-

your glare slips as the words you uttered sink into your skin, and by the time you turn back around, yoongi’s eyes already gathered enough tears that they run down his face.

“is that what you’ve thought of me till now?” his voice breaks and so does your heart. “yoongi, no-“ you step towards him but he backs away, his defenses climb back right infront of your eyes as his body suddenly looks too far away.

“that’s not fair, you don’t get to tell me now, that you thought i was merchandise, that i keep hurting everyone i love, when all i’ve done these past weeks is try and win you back.” your world stops spinning as yoongi admits to his trials.

you feel like the biggest asshole in the world.

“yoongi, you were right, i didn’t mean-“ you walk over to him with hesitant steps, he doesn’t back away this time but he doesn’t let you finish either.

“i know i’ll never be worthy of you, i know i can only try but i’m trying, god knows i’m fucking trying because even if you can live and breathe without me, i can’t do any of that without you.” your own eyes start to tear up as you reach to wipe the wetness of his cheeks and yoongi takes a shaky breathe in as his face involuntarily cuddles into your palm.

“and you were wrong that night, i will never move on from you, i am simply not capable of moving on from you, because i have never loved anyone more than i’ve loved you, i’ve never wanted someone as much as i have wanted you, every bit of me belongs to you, none of me is mine anymore. and it took you being away for me to realize that.” yoongi’s confession stops time and space. he feels exposed like someone stripped him naked and threw him into traffic but he finally lets you know everything he’s dreamed of telling you.

you press your forehead against him with a wobbling chin and cup his face with shaky hands.

“did you ever think, that by loving me, you were hurting me too?” you needed him to know the extent of his pain, the depth of his scars. yoongi lets you tell him, he needed to know as well.

“every day, i waited.” the ball in your throat gets tighter as you speak and yoongi hates that he’s the reason why.

“every single date you canceled, every night i fell asleep without you, every meal i had without you, all those days i went without seeing you, i need you to know that it killed me slowly, that it made me a shell of the person i am.” yoongi felt shame rushing through him at your words, at the pain he caused you.

he would understand if you didn’t let him in again.

he wouldn’t try again if you didn’t want him to, he has too much respect for you.

“i love you too much to not give you a chance, heck i would probably give you a chance even if you don’t ask for it.” he looks up with blurry eyes.

“but i need to believe that it will be different this time, not just know that it will be.” you step away at that, staring at yoongi who was left standing with a burden that suddenly fell on his shoulders.

how was he supposed to make you believe that?

could you not trust his word alone?

but then again, his words haven’t exactly ended things well for you both.

“how do you want me to show you?” he needed to know, there was nothing he needed to know more.

your breathing stalls at his words.

“please tell me.” his voice breaks as he whispers that, yoongi’s eyes gathering tears again and your heart falls to your feet at the redness coating his eyes.

you wished none of today would have happened.

“yoongi.” you whisper back but you don’t even know what he could do to mend things, you are not sure he can but you can’t deny him a chance.

you don’t have an answer for him.

“i am going apartment hunting soon” you confess finally, and he feels his breath get knocked out of his chest. “oh really?” he asks, sniffing as he looks away.

“my friend knows this real estate agent person who set me up for a few tours, you have to understand why i had to do it.” he knows exactly why you had to do it and he hated knowing that it was all because of him.

but he wasn’t going to give up after ripping his heart out for you.

“i’ll come with you.” yoongi nods and you frown at him, “yoongi, you really don’t have to, i know you are bus-“ he cuts you off, “i am not busy, let me come with you, i want to at least make sure you move into a nice place.” that was a total lie but it wasn’t like yoongi had a lot of options left.

you ponder for a while, and yoongi waits patiently for your answer, he won’t push you if you deny but he will be as stubborn as he can be without frustrating you.

“fine, i’ll let you know by tomorrow.” you finally give in and without another word, go back into your room. you close your door with an exhausted sigh, your face aligning with your reflection across the room.

your eyes were redder than ever and all the energy had been sucked out of your face, making you look sick and you felt sick too, your entire body was aching and you wondered if yoongi felt this way too, if he was as tired, if he felt like the world was pulling his body down, if he maybe wanted to give up because of this feeling.

you stay several minutes this way; you hadn’t thought you would call yoongi merchandise. you, of all people, knew how stressful his job got but you no longer wanted to use that as an excuse for how he treated you.

“how do you want me to show you?”

those words sent a shiver down your spine at that moment, it was the desperation that drenched his voice, the way his hands were shaking beside his body, and his eyes that looked through every inch of you, trying to find ways to convince you.

a slow knock drew you out of your mind, your hand locking around the doorknob to pull it open, and there stood the reason for all your pain and yearning.

yoongi held a tray of hot soup with ginger tea, and a bunch of chocolates, his gaze settling everywhere but at you, as he stood with shifting feet.

“you didn’t eat anything.” you didn’t realize you hadn’t eaten all day but apparently, yoongi had and that tightened your chest around your heart a little more, suffocating you with the love you held for him a little more.

with trembling fingers, you hoped he wouldn’t notice, you take the tray from his hands and place it on a table, and yoongi turns to leave, he didn’t want to bother you too much, he just wanted to make sure you ate.

you pulled on his wrist, not exactly sure of what you will do next but somehow, you needed to touch him, feel that he was real and that you both were here, so lost but still together.

“t-thank you.” you stutter out, every other word you had woven all these months stayed trapped in your mouth. yoongi stared at the hand that held his wrist, he had almost forgotten how out of breath this used to make him feel. how he used to lose nights of sleep imagining you and him, in a house, waking up next to you, falling asleep with you, long before you had both ever committed, yoongi had imagined every day in his life with you in it.

he can’t believe how close he is to losing all of it.

“we should talk, yoongi.” you feel tired but you won’t be catching any sleep in the state the both of you were in, he would spend all night worrying about you, and you would spend all night worrying about him.

yoongi silently followed you into the guest room, it was still strange for him to see you in another part of the house, he eyes the makeup that was scattered on the vanity, the clothes lying around on the sofa, your socks at the edge of the bed and as silly as it sounded, he hated that none of this mess was in the room you two shared.

“i’m still going to see the apartments” you start off awkwardly, taking a seat on the bed and yoongi stood at the corner of the bed, hating that it felt wrong to sit next to you at the moment.

when had it become so bad?

“and i’m still coming with you to see them.” he concludes and gathers all his courage before plopping down next to you. if today didn’t go the way it did, you would laugh at the distance between you two and pull him closer and tell him to stop acting funny, but none of that felt right.

“i think you understand you fucked up” you say, finally looking up at his figure next to you and you shouldn’t have, your resolve already was spread thin, and looking at yoongi didn’t help.  “i do.” he agrees and nods shamefully.

“what are you going to do to fix it?”

“anything you want me to.” his answer is quick and firm, he was prepared for anything you would ask for, but you were tired of asking.

“it’s not about what i want, yoongi. i need to believe that you want this as much as i do, and that you’re prepared to fight for it, asking me about what to do is you just handing over the responsibility to me instead of at least trying to figure it out by yourself.” he listens intently, and puts himself in your shoes.

“i took a break from work.” your eyes widen at him and you have to force your jaw shut because you could’ve imagined anything but not those words leaving yoongi’s lips of all people.

“you, what?”

“work is good, very good but it was keeping me from you and it was hard to make that decision but i can always work, i can’t lose you. i can lose millions of dollars, this house, all my clothes, everything but nothing mounts to losing you.”

you have to force yourself to look away when he says that, because you never could have imagined that you were worth all of that and more to him and you are well aware of his deep affection for his work which makes it all the more sentimental that he was taking a break for you.

“i want to be worthy of you again, i want to spend time with you, i want to take care of you, i want to be anywhere around you as long as you want me. i thought i was working for us, for us to be comfortable, but i got selfish in the middle, and i ignored the person who kept me going when it got too hard.” he pauses, his breath shaking as his eyes fall shut. he remembers the exact second his chest almost blew up at the sight of you leaving home, he never wants to experience that again.

“it’s all on me, i should’ve never let you feel like i didn’t love you, loving you is one of the only things i can do right.”

“besides music.” you add in hopes to lighten the mood and you are successful when a full grin grows on yoongi, one that has your cheeks warming up with joy.

“besides music.” he agrees, “but i’ve done it for enough time now, i just want to love you, in the way you deserve to be loved. which is why i’m asking, no i’m begging for you to let me do this right, one last time.”

“what will change? if i say, yes?”

“all my time will be yours; all of my attention has always been yours and it will remain yours, i will make your food like i always have, we will go on dates whenever we want, and we will watch all the movies we’ve wanted to watch but couldn’t, we’ll do everything we used to do but better. it won’t go back to how it was but i don’t want us to stay as the shadow of who we used to be, because we’re meant for more than that.” he says sincerely, with his heartbeat echoing in every word and you couldn’t just pretend like you didn’t hear it.

“as much as i try to will this feeling away, i can never stop hoping for us.” in the next second that he utters those words, you throw yourself in his arms, and your final resolve breaks as his shaky hands snake down the length of your back like he can’t believe he gets to hold you like this again.

the first tear slips without knowledge, secretly and it disappears in his shoulder, his tear disappears in the crook of your neck. the tears that follow, fall shamelessly, without any intention of stopping and none of you say another word, not another ‘i need you to stay because i’ll lose the important piece of me if you go’, not another ‘i love you, like i’ve loved nothing else and losing you scares me like nothing else’, all of those remain unspoken but they hang in the air around you.

“i believe, with everything in me, that we’re meant for more than this.” yoongi braves to look at you, his eyes zeroing in on the curves of your cheeks, he hates that he was the reason for the tears that have fallen on them.

he can’t let it ever happen again.

“do you?”

-

“this one has beautiful floor-to-ceiling windows, i heard you have a passion for reading, so the sunlight will be perfect.” your agent says enthusiastically as he walks you through the sixth apartment you’ve seen today.

“she also has a passion for sleeping so that won’t work.” yoongi groans as he walks behind you, your face grows red as you slap him on the arm.

“if you’re going to complain about every house, just stay outside, i will look through them.” you grit your teeth at him but your heart softens when his mouth pulls into a whine, “our house is perfect, i literally don’t understand why you’re moving.”

all yoongi has done since he’s stepped out of home is complain about every single house you’ve been to.

“the closet won’t hold half your clothes.”

“a big kitchen is useless for you.”

“this literally looks like a druggie’s hideout.”

“it’s too white.”

no, you are not sure what he meant with the last one either but all you know is that he’s whisked you away from all of them before you could even consider them as options.

“we’ve talked about this, and we agreed that space could do us some good, and no, our house isn’t perfect, my bookshelf has no space left.” you complain lowly so that the agent doesn’t hear you but lo and behold he does. yoongi, on the other hand, can’t remember when he agreed that space would do you good, hell that’s the last thing he wants.

“which is why this house would be perfect for you, the bedroom offers a stunning full wall bookshelf that you can stock up with all of your reads without compromising for space!” he cheerfully chatters and yoongi’s jaw tightens, he hates this agent with all his body and soul even if he’s known him for an hour.

“i can build a bookshelf from scratch” he mumbles grumpily but he can’t help the way his heart flutters when he sees you catch sight of the bookshelf. it’s everything you ever want in a bedroom, a proper vanity, a low-set bed, perfect lighting, and of course, the majestic bookshelf.

your smile grows as you trace your fingers over the plush vanity and the bookshelf and yoongi’s face breaks into a half-smile.

it’s bittersweet, to have you, but in a different house, not the home you’ve built for years but yoongi would never deny anything that grew that smile on your face.

“i really like this one.” you beam at the agent who sighs out in relief but maintains a professional smile, “if you’re all set for it, i’ll get the paperwork ready.” he offers immediately and your eyes pass on yoongi’s figure in the doorway. he smiles at you encouragingly, as if he’s okay with it, but you know he’s not.

just then, yoongi’s phone rings and he excuses himself to step out to take the call, right before he leaves, he hears you say, “i’ll take this one” in a lovely, sing-song tone that he knows you only use when you’re truly happy. his shoulders slump but he knew that this would happen today, he had told his heart all night to not give up on him.

he answers the phone with an irritated tone, he didn’t know how to feel, he could barely listen to the person speaking to him on the phone, he wanted to be happy just for the fact that you agreed to give him a second chance, and that you were excited to spend time with him, but he couldn’t help the sinking in his chest at the thought of waking up and not seeing you.

“no, i am not coming in for work next week, i already told you this, don’t call me again.” yoongi says in a calm but stern manner, the person tries talking again but you were out of the house, and yoongi could care less about anything else.

“did you sign the papers? did you need a pen? i think i have one in my car, let me go grab it.” he rambles and hastens to make his way to the car but you bite back a smile and grip onto his hand.

“yoongi.” you step into his open arms and hug his torso, yoongi is confused but his arms wrap around you, and unconsciously you both are swaying in each other’s embrace.

the house was great but being in yoongi’s arms for these two minutes felt more like home than any house in the world and every corner of the house reminded you of the lack of his presence.

the kitchen, where he won’t cook, where he won’t make fun of your dishes.

the couch, where his headphones don’t lay carelessly.

the bedroom, where his side is neatly arranged while yours stays a mess.

the balcony, where he won’t sip his coffee dramatically at sunset to amuse you.

and the bookshelf, that he won’t help you fill with all the books he gets home, just because they reminded him of you.

you had wanted a home and space but you could find both of those in yoongi.

“you can build a bookshelf, right?” yoongi’s eyebrows scrunch at your question, he almost feels offended that you have to ask that.

“um duh, you know i can.” he whines and you giggle into his chest.

“then, i’m not moving.” yoongi’s arms almost fall away at your words, a strange mix of relief, gratefulness and content fill his every crevice as he tries not to hug you tighter, a punishment for even thinking of keeping you away from him.

and he will take this mix of emotions and remember it forever, the day you gave up on space to stay with him, he will remember the favor you did for his heart for as long as he breathes.

“i will build a million bookshelves if that’s what you want, all you have to do is stay, forever.” forever is a big word, a word yoongi never believed in, always saying that everything in life was on borrowed time but with you, it feels like too short of time.

you knew how he felt about forever so for him to say it to you, rushes into your chest and spreads with a warmth that makes you feel all things giddy and good.

he says nothing, no words, just keeps you in his arms after time had kept you away for too long.

“let’s go home, yoongi.”

[katnisspeetaprim]

Always, Us (Suchwita)

Min Yoongi/FemIdol!Reader Requests open!

Warnings: Established relationship, discussion of pregnancy and marriage, idol!au

Word Count: 1506 M.list

‘Today on suchwita, we have someone people have wanted for a long while.’ Yoongi addressed the cameras as you stood at the side, excitedly waiting for your cue. Since Yoongi started his show, fans had wanted you to make an appearance, but there was never a good enough reason for you to appear until now. You don’t know if the reason fans wanted you here because they genuinely liked you, or if they just wanted to be nosey about your relationship now that it was public. Either way, you were happy to do this for Yoongi.

‘It’s Y/N of the group Prima.’ He stood from his seat and welcomed you with a bow, before pulling your chair out for you. You feigned shock as you sat down.

‘This is how you know cameras are around. He’s acting like a gentleman.’

‘YAH! Don’t say that!’ He snorted with a laugh as he sat down opposite you. ‘I’m always kind.’

‘Sure if you say so.’

‘I’m sure you noticed I got your favourite alcohol here. I’ll keep it for myself if you carry on.’ He smirked, gesturing to the various colourful bottles on the table.

‘You wanna play that game?’  You challenged, leaning forwards with a smirk to match his own. Yoongi relented, leaning back and waving his hands with a smile.

‘Ok, we’re getting off topic and we haven’t even started yet.’ You also relaxed, but you knew you had won that round.

‘As I was aying, this is your favourite. Let me pour you a glass.’ You held out your glass and thanked him as he poured.

‘People have been curious about us since we went public right?’ You asked, getting right into why you were there.

‘Yes.’ He agreed, drinking from his own glass. ‘How did it feel for you to finally be open after having to hide it for so long?’ Yoongi had given you a brief run down of the kind of questions that would be asked the night before, so that you could prepare, though you didn’t want to just write and memorise a script, especially when it came to your love life. You wanted your words to be as natural as possible.

‘It felt good to not have to sneak around. I know you were relieved too.’ Yoongi nodded in agreement.

‘It made me feel like we were a couple of horny teenagers sneaking out at night.’ He laughed.

‘Oh yeah you’re right! But looking back I don’t know why we hid it so long. People have been shipping us since we first met pretty much.’ You smiled warmly, thinking back to when you posted a picture of yourself and a young trainee Yoongi onto your groups twitter account. Yoongi wasn’t well know back then, but your fans were curious about your connection to the young trainee.

‘Do you remember how we met?’ Yoongi asked, smoothly moving the conversation along. You didn’t answer right away. You looked down as a subtle blush spread across your cheeks as you thought of the memory.

‘Why are you blushing? Don’t get shy now!’ Yoongi laughed as he called you out.

‘Shut up.’ You mumbled, all in good fun.

‘Ok. I was late for rehearsal and I ended up barging into your guys room by accident.’ You cringe at that part. ‘ You all stared at me and I was so embarrassed, but you also offended me that day!!’ Yoongi raised his eyebrows questioningly. Had he really?

‘Yes!’ You exclaimed, making him a little nervous. ‘You didn’t know who I was! Even though I debuted like 2 years before that!’ Yoongi sighed in relief and rolled his eyes.

‘I told you before! I didn’t know many current groups back then! I was too busy trying to debut myself.’

‘Yeah, sure.’ You crossed your arms with a pout.

‘Why are you pressed about that still? It was over a decade ago!’

‘That’s not the point! I’m your senior so you should respect me!’ Yoongi choked out and exasperated laugh, before he addressed the crew.

‘do you see what I deal with on a daily basis?’

‘You see! This is what I mean.’ You laughed whilst gesturing towards him. ‘No respect...’ Yoongi shook his head, laughing at the interaction.

‘You know, my mom keeps asking me when we’re going to give her grand kids.’ You froze and internally cursed him for bringing up this topic. It’s not like you don’t want babies with him, it just never felt like the right time to try. Especially now with his military service coming up...

‘I always thought we’d try after your enlistment, but we never really discussed it....’ You confessed, feeling the energy of the room die slightly. You saw Yoongi’s eyes widen ever so slightly at your answer, but he covered it up by rubbing his face.

You weren’t lying when you said it hadn’t been talked about, so your answer definitely caught him off guard.

‘We also need to find time for a wedding.’ He played it off cooly, trying to move on with a joke. You frowned to yourself. His reaction was strange. This definitely needed more investigating.

The remainder of filming flew by. You’d managed to avoid any more awkwardness after that and put on a good show. You were fairly certain that part would be cut anyway. It may have been a little too personal to bring it up in that way in hindsight....

‘So, do you want to talk about what you said?’ Both you and Yoongi were sat in his car in the parking lot. You could get a lift from the company driver, but Yoongi proffered the freedom of being able to drive himself. ‘About having kids?’ He looked over to you with an expression you couldn’t quite read. Looking down at your hands in your lap, you began to speak.

‘I meant what I said. I want kids with you, but I ... also don’t want to give up my career...’ You trailed off. He sucked in a breath at your words, but stayed silent. ‘I just said that about your enlistment because I didn’t know what else to say.’ You sniffled slightly, but you were determined to not get upset. Yoongi placed a comforting hand on your thigh and leaned across the console.

‘Hey. You won’t loose your career. You really think Bang PD would let you go after all these years?’ He spoke soothingly. No matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t stop a few tears escaping your eyes.

‘I know it’s stupid to think this way but-‘ Yoongi quickly shook his head.

‘Don’t talk like that. If you’re upset it’s not stupid, ok?’ He had now moved his hand to the back of your neck, rubbing calming circles into your skin. You slowly looked up at him to see him giving you a reassuring smile. You were unable to stop yourself from reaching up and pulling him into a hug, or as much as you could manage with the gear box between you.

‘I’m sorry I got upset.’ You mumbled into his neck. He craned his neck to place a kiss on the side of your head.

‘Nothing to be sorry for.’ You both stayed like that for a few relaxing moment as you calmed down. Pulling back, you wiped at your eyes before quickly pecking his lips.

‘We need to talk properly at some point, but right now I need you to take me home so I can stuff my face with ice cream.’ Yoongi broke out into his iconic gummy smile as he stared at you.

‘You must be feeling better if you can crack jokes. Now put your seatbelt on woman.’ Yoongi pulled out of the parking lot and started the journey home. You both sat in comfortable silence, only the sounds of the quiet radio played in the car. You thought back to the filming, when you suddenly remembered something he so casually said during the interview.

‘So...’ He glanced at you briefly, before looking back to the road. ‘What was that about a wedding?’  You smirked when he choked on his own spit and clearing his throat.

‘Ah yeah. That...’

‘You haven’t even proposed to me.’ You teased, hoping he might get a hint. Yoongi fully looked at you when he pulled up to a traffic light, smile tugging at his lips.

‘Do you want me to?’

‘I certainly wouldn’t be oppose to the idea!’ You both sent coy smiles to each other and that was that. Conversation over.’ The two of you didn’t need to get married to know you loved each other, but having said that...

And thus, a few weeks later, Korea woke to the news that you and Yoongi had secretly eloped and made your marriage official.

You had a lot of explaining to do to your parents, but you got out of it by promising that you would have a ‘proper’ ceremony at a later date. For now though, you were both content with how things were.

[bleuside97]

Redemption and Regression

paring: babydaddy!jungkook x exgirlfriend!reader

summary: even after five years there is not escaping of jeon jungkook.

warnings: reader has a four year old child, reader gets kidnapped by jjk, manhandling, harsh words, profanities, a bit of angst,

genre: yandere jungkook

"Hi mommy." A little voice called through the phone call. You hold the phone close to your ear. Relief filled your senses by hearing your son's voice. Looking both ways before crossing the empty street. "Hello mommy's baby." You replied to your son, U-Jin Y/L/N, smiling ear to ear. "How are you liking it at Grandma's house?" You asked the small boy. "I love it here, Grandma has lots of toys for me to play with and she cooked samgyupsal for dinner." You couldn't see him but you can tell that joy evident in his voice. In the background of the phone call the sound of toys clashing together. Clearly, submerged in his fun toys he stopped taking.

Your four year old baby, frequently stays at his grandparents house on nights you have to work overtime. This whole week has been filled with late shifts at the office. You are employed as a journalist, a struggling one if that, you are writing your newest article that could be your breakthrough. A female voice cuts in, "Y/n." "Hello Mom, thank you for taking U-Jin in again, I've been so busy at the office." Walking home from work alone in the dark of the night. Thankfully you're almost at home. Just a few more blocks from it. You walk through the patches of yellow lights given by the street lights, within every kilometer. A gust of wind flies past you and bites your nose and cheeks turning a bright rose color. Your cling onto your light jacket a little tighter with your free hand. It was cold but your pursed nonetheless pulling the hood over your head. Pushing your hands deeper into your jacket's pocket for warmth. You continue to walk to your destination.

"I can't neglect my responsibility as a Grandmother," She dismisses your gratitude, always selfless. You're grateful to have her in your life, the only person you trust right now. You smile gratefully, admitting, "I can't do this alone." Tears well up, clouding your vision. "I'm a struggling single mom, trying to keep my job." A compassionate sigh emanates from the other end of the phone. "Don't give up, Y/n. You've come so far from those so many years ago." Her encouraging words bring a smile to your face. The smile fades as you recall your life before five years ago. Swiftly changing the subject, you attempt to forget about it. "I'll pick up U-Jin tomorrow, it's my day off. See you then, please kiss U-Jin goodnight for me."

You conclude the call quick to tuck it in your purse. A shadow of a figure in the distance. A rather tall figure, with long brunette hair blowing in the wind. He wore a loose-fitting hoodie and baggy jeans. He walks, his gaze locked on the sidewalk ahead, his face obscured by a cap that renders him faceless in the dim light. In the midst of the crowded sidewalk, your shoulders accidentally collide. You're quick to offer an apology, but as you do, the faceless figure slowly turns to face you, and in that instant, you imprint a name on his featureless visage. A surge of instinctive fear jolts through your mind, urging your body into action. Your legs propel you into motion before rational thought can catch up.

In the darkness behind you, an iron grip suddenly clamps onto your arms, imprisoning them against your trembling frame. You instinctively struggle, desperately attempting to wriggle free from his unyielding hold, but he remains an immovable force. As fear courses through your veins, you open your mouth to scream, only to be violently yanked backward, stealing the very breath from your lungs and reducing your scream to a feeble gasp.

His fingers constrict around your waist and throat, the world narrowing to the thunderous pounding of your heart in your ears and the veins throbbing visibly in your throat. Panic surges within you, tears welling up in your eyes. Amidst the chaotic moment, your vision is reduced to a blur of blinding car headlights, the whizzing of the street, and a fraction of a car door frame as you're forcibly thrust into the passenger-side seat. Desperation fuels your efforts as you claw your nails against his arm, a frantic struggle to break free.

Having cornered you within the confines of the vehicle, your assailant steps back, allowing you a fleeting glimpse. Through your disheveled hair, the darkness, and the tears clouding your vision, you discern little more than the silhouette of a man. His head abruptly swivels in your direction, his hand lunging forward, and a noxious cloth slaps onto your face.

In your frantic struggle with all your might, you toss your head back, a desperate bid to evade him, your instincts screaming about the consequences of failure. You were forcibly shoved into the car, an unsettling sense of déjà vu washed over you, and you could have sworn that your faceless assailant wore a hauntingly familiar, triumphant grin. A haunting warning chills your soul, "I warned you, y/n, from the moment you left me, I told you I will always find you." The world dissolves into darkness as he steps back, sealing your fate with a resounding slam of the car door. Rendering you unconscious.

(Transition)

A cold shiver danced down your spine, and the chill of damp concrete beneath your scent a jolt of discomfort through her frail frame. Panic began to claw at the edges of your consciousness as her memory reluctantly unveiled the grim truth: she was trapped, imprisoned by the very person she had once called her own.

As her senses gradually sharpened, she became aware of the stale, musty air, tinged with the scent of old wood and mildew. The sound of distant water dripping echoed ominously, punctuating the silence that enveloped her. Her hands, trembling as she explored her immediate surroundings, brushed against rough walls and the coarse surface of a cot, revealing the stark minimalism of her prison. With every fleeting moment, the dreadful awareness of her predicament grew more poignant. Memories of their tumultuous history resurfaced, casting shadows on her thoughts, and the realization dawned that she was now at the mercy of her former captor. Tears welled up in her eyes as she grappled with the agonizing helplessness of her situation.

Amidst the dimly lit basement's gloom, your eyes gradually adjusted to the obscurity, revealing the harsh reality of her situation. As her disoriented senses sharpened, she could make out a silhouette lurking in the shadows. Her heart raced, and a tremor coursed through her frail form as the figure gradually materialized before her.

a/n: it's been a minute bro ik i said that i was going to post like five days a week naaa that was a lie. it's not that easy im currently in school and im tired and doing work all the time. im exhausted but ima try to post once a week. i will try. anyways, im still on my yandere shit and i have way more coming up. i really this one and i think it's a cool story. please let me know your feedback please this is only the first part of the story and i don't want this to flop 😭 please don't make it flop I beg! i really worked hard on it it took me days to do!! there's gonna be two more chapters and smut would be included in the next chapter so...

[taintedjeon]

‘𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐡𝐞…’ 𝐦𝐲𝐠 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬;

✞ pairing: alternative!yoongi x reader (afab) ✞ type: drabbles ✞ genre: filthy smut ✞ status: new&ongoing

disclaimer: this is entirely a work of fiction and by no means is meant to be a projection, judgment or representation of real-life people. yoongi is used solely as a face and a name for the story. this is not a representation of real-life scenarios.

➷.𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐬 𝐩𝐨𝐥𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐢𝐝𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐫𝐢𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐢𝐦

➷.𝐟𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐢𝐭𝐮𝐝𝐞 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 — coming soon!!

➷.𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐢𝐧 𝐚 𝐩𝐡𝐨𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐨𝐨𝐭𝐡 — coming soon!!

➷.𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐛𝐞𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐝 — coming soon!!

➷.𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐧𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐮𝐩 — coming soon!!

➷.𝐟𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐬 𝐩𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞𝐬 — coming soon!!

➷.𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐨 𝐩𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐥𝐞𝐠 𝐨𝐧 — coming soon!!

➷.𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐫𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐟𝐚𝐜𝐞 — coming soon!!

➷.𝐟𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 — coming soon!!

➷.𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐬 𝐚 𝐬𝐞𝐱 𝐭𝐚𝐩𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮 — coming soon!!

… + 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞.

© 𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝𝐣𝐞𝐨𝐧 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟑. ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ʀᴇᴘᴏꜱᴛ, ᴛʀᴀɴꜱʟᴀᴛᴇ ᴏʀ ᴄᴏᴘʏ ᴀɴʏ ᴏꜰ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋ.

[hoseoksluna]

A CELEBRATION OF 1K FOLLOWERS — WIP 𐙚 steam | myg

pairing: bf!yoongi x f. reader

about: showers with yoongi

word count: 0.383

note: to celebrate this beautiful number, i'm giving you all, my babies, the wip of the current fic i'm writing. apologies for it being so short, but i don't have much written and i couldn't not post anything for you on this special day. THANK YOU to all my followers, to all my kind and lovely readers who stumbled upon my blog and decided to stick around. I LOVE YOU ALL. you deserve way more than this silly little excerpt. i hope you like it. let's meet on sunday for the full thing (jungkook lingo). ᡣ𐭩

warnings: raw shower sex, yoongi talks you through it, oral sex (f. receiving), squirting, falling asleep in yoongi's arms :(

𐙚

Showers with him are something else.

Something you never thought you could ever have the blessing to encounter. Showers with Yoongi are intense, so out of pocket that you find yourself thinking about them fondly whenever you’re alone with your thoughts. There, beneath the downpour of the warm water, he lets you see the other side of his ever unyielding stern façade. While holding you, he would make you laugh, then make you moan and break that sound with each hard plunge of his cock. Hair slicked back, smirk adorning that delicious wet mouth, causing him to look like a Mafioso bent on absolutely ruining you. He would tell you the most insane story he heard from his friend, then talk you through the build-up of your orgasm while continuing to the point of that story—seamlessly waving through, never losing tempo. “Then, he went up to his hyung to ask him about what he did—yes, just like that, honey, take it. I know you’re almost there, just listen.” You would come all over his cock, sprinkling him with your essence, right at the end of his story and like a hungry man, he’d get on his knees and eat you up, muttering how good you are and how well you did with each swipe of his tongue. Your lungs would heave due to the overstimulation, your legs would tremble, unable to stand and he’d gather you into his arms, fold you like a paper into the crooks of his body and let his thick duvet drape over you. He’d fall asleep first, breathing in the scent of your shampoo, snoring softly behind you while spooning you, never letting go of his deathly grip around you. And while you would breathe in the haze of lilac sprayed on his pillows, you’d become aware of the drowsy rhythm of his heartbeat, the lift and fall of his chest against your back, the snug heat of his body and it would lull you to sleep.

That is your new version of hot long showers.

And if it isn’t this, then it’s Yoongi letting you quickly wash yourself before he’d steal you away, dragging you into this bed, only to carry you back there an hour later.

You speculate he has a serious, adorable case of attachment issues.

𐙚

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[7ndipity]

Sweet Morning

Yoongi x Reader

Summary: Just a lil thing about Yoongi looking after his S/o when they wake up sore after a particularly intense night together.

Word Count: 1k

Warnings: slightly suggestive, implied smut, implied drinking, swearing, mentions of bruises, bathing? not proofread

A/N: I’m back! Thanks to the lovely anon who requested this! I decided to stick with Yoongi for this one, but if you’d like similar blurbs for the other members, let me know! This turned out a lot softer(and longer) than I planned, but I couldn’t help it, I love sweet caregiver Yoongi 🥺(also, I wrote part of this at like 4am, so I’m sorry if it’s eh)

Masterlist

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At first, you thought the late morning sunlight was what woke you, managing to shine through a gap in the curtains directly in your face and pulling you from the cozy cocoon of sleep. The shifting weight of the bed behind you though proved otherwise, a sleepy grin spreading across your face as you felt a familiar pair of arms slip around your middle, a set of warm lips leaving a trail of soft kisses along your bare shoulder.

“Morning.” Yoongi rasped, his voice somehow even deeper first thing in the morning.

You hummed contentedly, memories of the night before flickering back through your mind as you stretched.

Yoongi’s lips somehow never leaving yours for more than a moment as you’d fumbled through the front door and to the bedroom, clothes hastily discarded in your wake, tasting the whiskey he’d drank at dinner on his tongue. Falling back on the bed with him, desperation making each touch somehow feel a thousand times more potent, swallowing each other's moans as you rode out wave after wave of pleasure til you were both too exhausted to continue, falling asleep still clinging to one another.

Yoongi’s feather light touches pulled you back to the present, in stark contrast to the night before as his lips drifted up the side of your neck.

"What time is it?" You asked sleepily.

“Late, but I have the day off.” He murmured, pressing a kiss to the faint purple mark that was forming just below your ear. “What do you want to do today?”

“I think this is pretty good,” You replied happily, rolling over to face him, but pausing midway as you winced, hissing slightly at the pain in your lower half.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, brow furrowing in concern.

“I’m just a little sore from last night.” You said easily, trying to pull him in to connect your lips, but he pulled back, looking down at you with growing alarm.

“Did I hurt you?” He asked, sounding horrified.

“What? No, Baby, I’m fine.” You quickly tried to convince him, but he sat up, gently tugging the blankets away from your body.

“Fuck.” He whispered.

Your skin was littered with hickeys and marks from him, some faint and barely discernible, others blooming in deep shades of red and purple.

He didn’t remember leaving so many marks, but when he was with you, it was like his brain shut off. All he could remember was the taste of your skin and all the sweet noises you made every time he’d dragged his teeth across your flesh.

His frown deepened as his eyes landed on the marks that decorated your hips and thighs, faint imprints of his fingers evidence of his vice-like grip on you from the night before.

He traced a finger over the marks, causing you to wince slightly, shivering from sensitivity. His attention snapped back to your face.

“Fuck.” He repeated, looking at you sadly. “I’m so sorry, baby.”

“Yoongi, I’m okay, really.” You tried to reassure him, trying not to grimace as you sat up, but he just shook his head.

“I shouldn’t have been so rough with you.” He said.

“I wanted you to be rough.” You reminded him, catching hold of his hands to pull him closer. “Did you once hear me complain last night?”

He shook his head again.

“Exactly, because there was no reason to. Everything about last night was amazing.” You said, caressing his face gently. “You made me feel so good, you always make me feel so good."

He smiled faintly in spite of himself, leaning into you instinctively as you kissed him, his lips dropping back into a frown as he felt you wince again as you tried to press closer to him.

He pulled away, looking at you softly.

“Wait here.” He said, climbing off the bed.

You did as he asked, sinking back into the covers as your eyes drifted closed.

You couldn’t lie, as much as you might have enjoyed the night before, you were beyond tired, your whole body feeling heavy and achy.

You had nearly fallen back to sleep before Yoongi returned, smiling down at your sleepy form for a moment before rousing you gently.

“Come on.” He said, tugging you up from the bed.

He helped you up slowly, wrapping an arm around your waist for support as he guided you to the bathroom, the scent of lavender enveloping you as you stepped through the door.

He’d prepared the bath just the way you liked, even setting a few of your favorite bath bombs out for you to choose from, as well as lighting a few of your favorite candles to further set the mood.

“What’s all this?” You asked, looking at him in surprise.

He didn’t answer right away, focusing instead on helping you slide in, smiling at the way your eyes fell shut as you sank into the warm water.

“Feel alright?” He finally spoke.

“Mmm.” You hummed, looking up at him expectantly. “Aren’t you getting in too?”

“I can, if you want me to.” He said uncertainly.

“I want you to.” You said, shifting forward to give him enough space to sit behind you.

He slipped in quickly, letting you lay back against him as he grabbed a cloth and started to wash you.

Normally, you’d argue a bit with him, just for the hell of it, saying something about how you were perfectly capable of washing yourself, but you let it go this time, enjoying the feeling of his gentle touch.

“Do you feel any better?” He asked after a bit.

“Mhm,” You practically purred. “Thank you.”

“Thank you.” He replied.

“For what?” You glanced up at him quizzically.

He shrugged. “Letting me have you.”

You grinned.

“You know, you didn’t make it out of last night unscathed either.” You said, poking a mark on his neck, making him wince slightly.

“At least I can still walk though.” He said pointedly.

“I can walk!” You argued.

“Like a penguin.” He smirked.

“Yah!” You splashed him, making him laugh. “I thought you were being nice to me?!”

“I’m just trying to keep things balanced.” He said, kissing your temple. “I can’t spoil you too much.”

You pouted, making him chuckle.

“I love you.” he said, pecking your cheek.

“Love you too.”

Taglist: @sopebubbles-replies @btsw1fe @this-must-be-my-tardis @whitefoxgirl @bethanysnow @coffeedepressionsoup @main-bangtansmauyeondan @feminympho @a-gayish-unicorn @captainorangegoose @k4ngelz

[muniimyg]

ALONE TOGETHER // MYG

you’ll always be his first choice

+

yoongi spends too much time convincing you to not be anyone’s second choice all the while he remains yours

pairing: (protective) best friend yoongi + oc 

au/genre:

best friends to ???

crush au

fluff, slight, one-sided pining

warnings:

mentions of cheating

explicit language

feelings of being second choice

note: originally posted on @/meowachi ,, revised !!

🏷️ permanent taglist: @joonsjuice @taetaecatboy @pb-n-juju @miss-rainy-days @firesighgirl @whoa-jo @vantxx95 @pamzn @kakixaku @casspirit0705 @tae165 @prdshobi @sopebubbles @leefics @ggukkieland @bebebutbetter @yoongimentita7 @vampcharxter @miss-jupiter @floweryjeons @taegijns

There’s an unfamiliar tension that invades the space between you and him. 

You’re fidgeting with your hands, trying your best to avoid eye contact. He’s here. Of course, he is. It’d be much more unlike him to not be. Yet, he stays silent, unable to pick a thought to express first. 

You’re sitting on the edge of your bed as he stands, leaning against your door frame. You can’t really make out what his facial expression is, but there is a weight of disappointment that presses your heart. It all feels too heavy—all too real. It didn’t need to be like this but the days of your avoidance fell in vain as the recently confirmed rumours exposed every bit of privacy you’ve been trying to keep.

“Yoongi—“

“Don’t.”

He exhales heavily and takes a step forward. “I.. I should’ve known better. I should’ve been here earlier.. I could have been. If you let me, you know?” Yoongi gives you a puzzled look. It was as if he was offended at your lack of needing him. “... And that’s the part where I’m confused.. Why didn’t you call me?”

He makes the move first. 

He sits next to you and places his hand on top of yours causing your fidgeting to stop. You look up and him and he feels like he was just punched in the stomach. Perhaps it was your tired expression and your dull eyes—whatever it was; it hurt to see you look the way you do now.

 You move your hand away and shrug. “Does it matter? You’re here now.” You say in an attempt to lighten the mood. He glares at you, refusing to give in to your words. A moment of silence falls upon you two again. 

“So.. How is he?” you ask Yoongi. Instantly, he groans in frustration. 

Are you serious? Were you always this annoying?

“Jimin dumps you for the girl he told you not to worry about… And you’re asking if he’s okay?” Yoongi’s words feel like salt being rubbed into your open wounds. “Not to mention that he practically cheated on you.”

You look at him with a soft smile but no words come out of your mouth. What was there to say? It already happened. Were you supposed to beg Jimin to stay with you? How could you live with yourself, fully knowing you’re the second choice? How could you continue to love him truly if his wandering eyes never glance your way?

Jimin’s mistreatment towards you almost feels like a joke. Everyone had warned him not to fuck up. Everyone warned you to keep your guard up. It was just the nature of him and the fate for you. Now, here is your best friend in the entire world; incredibly angry for you. He barged into your apartment to be some sort of damage control. 

The thing is; no part of you wants to admit how bad it really burns inside. You struggle to swallow your pride. But it is hard. It’s so fucking hard when you feel pathetic and useless. There’s no way you’d want to mix desperate in there. 

It was your pride that stopped you from calling Yoongi. He was right and it was too embarrassing to cry over someone he had told you not to give the time of day. On the contrary, you still believe Jimin was a good boyfriend—a great one even! However, he had a life and impulsive decisions that contradicted his promises to you. You didn’t expect commitment or an incredibly long relationship with him, but you did expect honesty.. 

And perhaps, honesty is what he gave when he dumped you. 

“He’s fucking amazing. He’s Jimin. Nothing really brings him down even if it’s his own bullshit,” Yoongi pauses and wonders if he should stop here. Should say the next part? He’s afraid they could possibly change your feelings. Could it? If it does.. Would it be for the better or worse?

“He asked about you, though.” Yoongi pauses, almost instantly regretting to speak up about this. maybe he should brush it off and leave it be.. This was his chance to protect you in a way.. Then, your eyes light up. Your eyes always light up this way whenever you have feelings for someone. It’s an observation Yoongi took the time to note. 

Putting his feelings aside, he dismisses his hesitation and fixates on your happiness. 

He should tell you. He has to tell you. 

“He asked about you.. First. That’s how I found out.. He told me.” Yoongi confesses.

Now he feels sick. 

He feels like he’s giving you false hope and making Jimin look humane when he’s such a villain.

Fucking shit does Yoongi really want you to hate Jimin. 

Even if it was for a split second, he wants you to take a moment and feel a fraction of the rage he feels towards Jimin. His frustration, anger, and resentment should be yours. Yet, you’re you. You aren’t the type to get angry and regretful. You love what comes along and wish for the best when it’s time to let go. Rarely do you fall apart and therefore rarely do you need Yoongi.

He hates that.  

“Did you hit him?” you ask softly, trying your best to mask your concern. You wish for a no. You wish for an answer that won’t make you feel like you’d have to choose between the two. “... You shouldn’t hit your friends.”

The corner of Yoongi’s mouth twitches. 

“No,” he chuckles as you let out a relieved breath. “I didn’t hit him. Was about to… But I thought about it. Mid-swing, I realize you’d probably be madder at me than him.” 

See, Yoongi has always been the nonchalant type. No one doubts how far his anger could drive him. Fortunately for everyone, he is a patient man. Nevertheless, his patience has a bad habit of fracturing whenever it comes to you. He always been protective of you. As for you; you expect better from him. You know he’s better than hateful actions. 

“Jimin told me you said you wanted space… He thought you told me.. That’s why he brought it up. Then, when he realized I didn’t know—he went full defense mode.”

You sigh. “Keep me updated, yeah? Jimin is still a good guy. He is still your friend.”

“Not a very good one if he’s fucking my best friend over.” Yoongi snaps. “You need to stop letting yourself be treated so poorly.”

You laugh. “Noted.”

For a moment, you two are okay. For a moment, Yoongi isn’t pissed and you aren’t hurt. You sink into the cozy feeling and decide to carry the conversation into a different direction. “Anyways, how are you?”

“No,” Yoongi says sternly. “___, we’re not doing that. I’m here for you. You’ve been avoiding me. You’ve been cheated on and—“

“Yoongi, I know what happened to me. It’s clear that you do too. We’ve established it so you don’t need to repeat it,” you snap. “I don’t want to talk about it anymore.”

He groans at you. 

In response, you throw your hands in the air and roll your eyes at him. “See? this is why I didn’t call you. God, I knew you’d do this.”

Yoongi rolls his eyes, shakes his head, and almost laughs at you. “Do what? Worry about you? That’s kind of what a friend is for. This is called a friendship. Me communicating and trying to protect you—this is shit men do. Something Jimin—“

“Stop it. He did communicate. I just wasn’t his choice. End of story.”

“And that’s the dumbest bullshit he could ever pull. I mean, how could anyone not choose you?”

“To each their own.”

“Fuck that and fuck him,” Yoongi scoffs. “I choose you.”

Your eyes widen and so does his when he realizes the words that fell out of his mouth. What happens now? It’s such an odd thing to say, no? Yoongi has never said anything like this to you before. When you look at him, you see his gaze had softened and even if there was a slightly panicked look on his face… There was also an underlying sense of relief.

It’s as if he had confessed a secret. 

You brush it off. Clearing your throat, you ask him; “A-are you done? Because I’m, uh, n-not in the mood for this. I don’t need you to—“

“To what? I didn’t come here to say ‘I told you so,’ ___. Are you fucking kidding me?”

“Then why are you here?” you huff, beginning to feel more and more defeated.  “Just go, Yoongi. I want to be alone.”

“We can be alone together.” 

It’s then when you look up at him, eyes watering and feelings on the edge of a cliff. You take a deep breath. Holy shit, you’re so tired of this. You stand up but he catches your hand and pulls your body into his embrace. Before you can protest, he holds you tighter. 

“It’s me, ___. It’s us.” he comforts you. “Fall apart or go numb, whatever. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”

Unsure of what stirs in you—perhaps it’s the days worth of holding everything in—but tears begin to fall from your eyes. Your inhale is cut short and disrupted by a hitch and the ache in your chest. It takes over. It practically consumes you the moment you let it. 

“I hate how you can j-just—how y-you can get me like this,” you cry, poking his chest passive-aggressively. Soon, your hands form a fist and you’re beginning to hit his chest as light cries escape your lips. As predicted, the louder you begin to break, the slower and lighter you hit him. When you come to a stop, he places his hands on top of yours. “I hate you,” you mumble.

He hushes you and holds you as you begin to tremble.

Yoongi moves the two of you into your bed. He wraps his arms around you as you cuddle up to him while you continue to cry. His sweet nothings calm your cries. He holds you tighter to calm you. His hands are placed patting the top of your head or rubbing your back. While he does all this, Yoongi wonders what it would be like to hold you in a totally opposite situation. 

One where you’re happy and hung up on him. One where you don’t feel like shit and he’s just trying his best not to cross any lines. 

After a while, you finally calm down. His arms and wrist felt a little numb, but it was worth it. He tucks his chin to take a peek at your state. Your eyes are puffy and your nose is a little red from the crying… But you look relieved. You look like you could rest tonight and if he’s not mistaken, you also look a little sleepy. The truth is; you just feel safe. 

He does this so well. He holds you better than Jimin.

“I wanted to face it alone and deal with it.. Pretend like it didn’t matter and that I could handle it..” you say, eyes slowly fluttering closed. Your voice gets softer and sleepier. He hushes you, promising that you don’t need to explain yourself. “No, because… It’s like whatever I do.. I just feel so alone. I figured there was no point in calling you because honestly… I still feel empty with you here, Yoon. What do we do about that?” 

He wishes he had an answer. Yoongi wishes he could find the perfect words for you and form some sort of metaphor that could change your perspective on everything. He should’ve majored in English Lit or something. 

Although, he can’t say he’s not surprised or offended by how blunt you are. He knows you’re all about transparency. It’s probably why you’re still a little hung up on Jimin: he came clean. He had an honest conversation with you, which only complicated your feelings for him even more. Now, the issue wouldn’t just be on how you’d have to learn to unlove Jimin, rather it would have to do with your new perspective on honesty and trust. 

Is honesty really worth it? Is it really that good? From the looks of it; maybe some things are better left in the dark.

Yoongi knows it’ll take time for you to adjust to the pain, but a big part of him wishes you could let him in more. After all, you can’t heal what you won’t touch, right?

So he lies there, wondering to himself when could he ever be enough for you. It confused him how you still felt alone when he was giving his all to be here with you. How much closer did he have to be to get to your heart? 

Your face is buried into the crook of his neck. Your makeup was smudging over his shirt and his arms had already given out from holding you for so long still, he stays. He doesn’t dare move or feel the need to complain. This is what he gets—pieces of you that others leave behind.

No part of him gets it.

Yoongi will forever wonder why he’s the one who’s left to help you clean up when you could be with him and never need to feel like this. Don’t you know that you don’t need to be in a position of loving someone who gives you up like you’re a choice? Like you’re an option?

To Yoongi, there’s no choice when it comes to you. 

That’s what he has learned from being friends with you all these years. The irony is that he'll spend hours unending trying to convince you that being a second choice isn't worth it.

Yet, that's what he is to you.

The worst part is that even if he had a choice, he’d still choose to be in love with you. 

What do we do about that?