#you are a peasant who eats gruel.

[blue-cray0n]

Occasionally, I catch myself thinking maybe reddit isn't all bad... then I remember the entire site should fucking burn

[knightsickness]

robert era westeros dashboard simulation

🫁 maidenless

JON ARRYN DEAD 🦀🦀🦀

🐉 rhaegarsvalyria—deactivated

imagine you are lost targaryen princess danaerys marrying your dear brother, prince viserys targaryen 🤍👰🏼‍♀️

📜 citadelscribe

deactivated… king robert got them

🐺 starkupdates

if you don’t speak politics ned’s basically saying ‘not this time, cunt - papa wolf ned isn’t letting you fuck with his pack. while we’re at it, you’re a terrible jouster, bitch!’ to jaime lannister. who else is doing it like him!!

🥘 bowlofbrown

crying at this they’re both lords they DO NOT care if you live or die. what’s wrong with you people

🌞 bowedbentbroken

aren’t their families literally intermarrying

🪵 riverlandspussy

serfs would stan a dog if it was landed

🐊 lizardlion

bracken dick would be good if they didn’t talk about how much better they fuck than the blackwoods the entire time

🌳 oldegodluvrr

why house blackwood stays 🔛🔝

🗝 livesbythefingers

i have terrible news about what blackwoods also talk about during sex

🔥 melisandre

the red represents projected support for STANNIS BARATHEON - king robert’s once and future HEIR

🦑 saltmalewife

shitting myself at this

🐦 muttonmouthed

stannis there’s doubts near the bloody gate watch out !!

💘 luckylikestcriston

🎭 silkyourstreet

every so often someone accidentally reinvents the fourth council of baelor

🦀 celtigwhore

how is crone not sweeping do you people hate women

🫁 maidenless

JON ARRYN STILL DEAD 🦀🦀🦀

🐴 littlestfrey

why are we celebrating? what did he do? /gen

📜 citadelscribe

known cuckold

🌞 bowedbentbroken

do you think littlefinger and varys ever no i shan’t say

🪸 patchpatchpatchface

on earth, the lords eat roast, and the peasants gruel !! in hell, the lords eat gruel, and the peasants roast !!

🪨 dragonstoner

another patchface banger

🦑 saltmalewife

the man cannot miss

[objectstore]

my debut character for the electric remains object camp: Jacques.

info about them under the cut

Name: Jacques (pronounced Sz-ahk) ("jack" works too. just not jak-quez)

Pronouns: they/it

Object: Jack of hearts playing card

Favorite Color: Royal blue

Character Information: [cracks knuckles] ok soooo Jacques is an adult modern object, who is a hybrid between organic and electric objects. While they are majorly organic, having to eat food and being able to bleed, they have some electric traits (which are more detrimental than anything). This includes “glitching” on occasion, which is exceptionally painful for them. Their most notable trait is their ability to “pop out” of their card. Their arms are slightly stretchy to complement this. They physically can’t remove themselves from their card’s background entirely. Even if they could, doing such would induce fatal injury. It can’t bring foreign items into the card with itself, the only thing exempt from this are its two hand axes (which. are actually a part of itself). Despite its two-headed appearance, Jacques is a single entity. It prefers to use its top head more than its bottom head. Has blue blood and yellow tears because I thought it would look cool. Jacques descends from a eusocial colony of playing card objects who all worship and serve the demands of their creator, an organic computer tower they call “The Dealer”. In. Card People Land (name pending). Their societal class is determined by the value of the card they are (a three of diamonds card would be equivalent to a peasant, queen of clubs would be. well. a queen etc). Jacques, being a jack, had a pretty decent status, though it’d sometimes dream about being the emperor of its own nation. One day, they left to get supplies only to come back to find that everyone in their colony, The Dealer included, had disappeared. Since then, it's been aimlessly wandering the wasteland in search of any semblance of wealth or power, hardened to the harshest of conditions (lie). Absolutely refuses to show compassion to anyone, out of fear that they too will vanish. If you express any sort of companionship to them its brain will short circuit (metaphorically).

Personality: Imagine if Principal Scudworth from clone high 2002, Rouxls Kaard from deltarune, and Hamlet from Hamlet were one guy and also french. Words to describe them more specifically go as follows: Egotistical and entitled, classist, greedy, mistrustful, and aggressive yet cowardly. [grabs them shakes them vigorously]

Goal: Being the very last of its kind, Jacques sees it as their duty to keep the legacy of the card kingdom alive at all costs. Even better, they might be able to live out their fantasy by crowning themselves the ruler of the safe haven.

Favorite food: Gruel. It LOVES a good slop.

[imperialstark]

Tony trying to defend his love of overnight oats (mans an LA gurl thru and thru u know he has his with flax and oat milk and berries) to Steve, who ate ACTUAL gruel and porridge growing up is like… why would you eat this when you can literally eat gold plated bacon and eggs and not even blink?? is this some Marie Antoinette peasent roleplay???

MARIE ANTOINETTE PEASANT ROLEPLAY DJGHHFHDHD

no bc tony IS an LA girlie and i love that for him he already has the green smoothies down AND the bitchy little sunglasses 💖💖

i do feel like tony would eventually get steve on the overnight oats train and it becomes a part of their nightly routine where they get their oats ready for the next day as a couple 🥹

[aviandtheseals]

The Rowntrees Ultimate Decades Challenge - 1369 Winter & Spring

Content warning for death yet again, also famine and war, I love this challenge

The rumored famine came quickly, and the fields were bare soon after the beginning of 1359. The chickens had to go and the Rowntrees started fretting for their financial situation. With the entire village penniless, spending all their money on food on the rare occasion it was available, their shop was losing traffic. The second floor of the house still needed to be rebuilt after the fire, and that seemed unlikely.

During the famine food was scarce, and the family resorted to eating gruel for almost every meal. The Hedgecocks were especially struggling, and Kymmie was grateful she didn't have any young children to care for. Everyone was always hungry and exhausted.

Soon, Gilbert's sister Clarice passed away. Although she was often rude, her passing greatly affected Gilbert, who was now left to take care of a toddler and an entire house by himself.

This event completely destroyed Gilbert, and Kymmie did her best to help him. In the past two years, Gilbert lost his wife, sister, and two children. Gilbert couldn't imagine living on as a serf, with no crops to farm and no food to feed to his daughter.

In May, news arrived at the village: war was coming. The war from their parents' childhoods against France had returned again, and English peasants were wanted to go fight for the king. Gilbert came knocking at Kymmie's door that night with big news: he wanted to go fight. There seemed to be no point in staying at the village anymore. But he needed to make sure Sabina was taken care of. Would Kymmie take her in?

Kymmie had gotten close to Gilbert since they were the only two alive adults in their families, and despite the dangers of war, she knew this was the best thing for him. Kymmie was scared to take care of a toddler during a famine, but knew that with the store still somewhat functioning, she was the best parent Sabina could have.

Sabina moved into the household that night, and Kymmie was excited to have a kid to take care of in the house again. Now that Finnian was a teen, the two of them were growing apart.

Finnian was busy helping out in the house since the fire, so when Regina sneaked him into her bedroom, they hadn't seen each other in a couple of months. Finnian had been feeling complicated about his relationship with Regina, and they only amplified when he went into her house for the first time. Regina lived in a castle, and people cooked and dressed her and made her bed. Her bedspread probably cost more than Finnian's house. But he tried to be polite.

"I'm sad you haven't been around," Regina told him. "Especially with the war going on, I really need this relationship as an escape right now."

This annoyed Finnian. He tried to be polite but sitting in this bedroom, hearing Regina complain, reminded him of how much easier her life was.

"My sister died and my house got burned, and I had to spend all my time working so we can fix it. Sorry I couldn't be your escape, but unlike you, my family can't afford to have someone else fix our problems," Finnian spat. "And the war? My brother-in-law is going there, and unlike your wealthy relatives he's probably going to die."

Regina rolled her eyes. "You take everything so seriously! My dad is at war too, and I'm not complaining about it all the time because I try to find happiness in things and have belief in God. If you weren't always focused on the things going wrong around you, you'd be happy too."

"You only care about your own happiness, and you've just been using me this whole time for yourself!" yelled Finnian. "You always put me in dangerous situations that you know you'd be able to wiggle out of! You don't care about me or anybody else! And you made me waste my youth on somebody I could never have a future with!"

"If you hate me that much, you don't have to see me," said Regina in disgust.

"Fine. I won't."

Finnian sneaked out the same way he came in.

[gendervapor14]

01746 birthday bash ~ day two ~ chapter 21: distance

content warnings: dialogue heavy, excessive use of the word "fork" word count: 784 brief summary: grueling weather leaves rosinante and his commodore stuck in a tavern until they can pursue their targets. a serious humorous conversation ensues.

His attention shifted back to the table at the sound of shuffling beside him, pleased to find Sora, rather than any of the other unfortunate souls in this tavern. “Damn, still not letting up.” The commodore sat beside him, sliding a dish of food and a drink his way. The promotion suited her nicely. Especially since he still got to work with her, even though he remained the same rank. After the incident in Hollow Island, he wouldn’t expect anything else. “On the bright side, your hair actually looks nice for once.”

After a flickering glare of annoyance, Rosinante insecurely swiped at his soggy, curly hair, snuffing out his cigarette. “What do you mean for once?”

“No, no, keep it slicked back.” She urged with a smile, “It’s a good look on you.”

“Great, I don’t care.” He bickered, investigating the meal she brought him with a crinkled nose, “Also, I don’t want this.” He picked up the bread roll on his dish like it was contaminated, unceremoniously plopping it next to hers. Even then, he still looked irritated, lifting his plate and fork and shoveling a considerable amount of his food onto hers.

“The hell is your problem?” Sora chastised, “What, did you see the chef sneeze on it or something?”

“I don’t eat bread.” He glared at the red sauce on his fork with internal resent. “And I don’t like the looks of whatever this is.”

“Lasagna?”

“Looks like pizza.”

“You don’t like pizza?”

He frowned with distaste. “No.”

The commodore stared at her massive plate of food, compared to the tiny little portion of salad he had left. “So that’s it, that’s all you’re going to eat.”

“Guess so.” He lifted his mug of beer and had a sip.

Sora scooted in, shoving her salad onto his plate. “At least have more of this, then.”

“Sure.” He resolved, picking up his fork and stabbing at the leaves. “I knew I should’ve ordered.”

“Well, I didn’t know you were such a picky eater. I mean, I knew, but…c’mon, you don’t eat bread? You’re shitting me.”

“I’m not.” He insisted bitterly, “It’s gross.”

“Any bread? What about things that have bread in them? Like crackers?”

“Crackers and bread are totally different.”

“Okay.” She shook her head with a laugh, “I guess I’m just not very understanding to your heavenly palate.”

A smirk and a hum, “Yes, in Mariejois there is no such thing as this, filthy peasant bread. We ate sautéed diamonds with shaved gold.”

His commodore snorted, “Of course, how silly of me.” She buttered some of the bread, “Next you’re going to tell me that’s the wrong kind of fork.”

“Well, it is.” He paused to have a look at it, swallowing his mouthful, “But this is old news, I’ve gotten over that by now.”

“Wait…so there really are different types of forks?” Sora blinked in surprise, “What is that like, a soup fork?”

“A soup fork?” Rosinante repeated incredulously, “Why the hell, who eats soup with a fork?”

“I-I don’t know! Go ahead, then, tell me about the different kinds of forks.”

A little sigh as he set down his silverware between them. “This is a fish fork. See, it only has three prongs. Actually, if we’re getting really technical, they’re called tines, but. I’ll spare you. For a salad, I would use a salad fork, with four prongs. Then there’s dessert forks, they also have three prongs, but they’re thinner than fish forks. And you can’t confuse fish forks for oyster forks, which also have three prongs, but they’re shorter. Overall that entire fork is just, smaller. The fruit fork has two prongs, so does the cheese fork, but those are completely different.” He listed, pausing when Sora just stared at him numbly, “What? You asked.”

“Please tell me there aren’t more forks.”

His eyes flickered up in reflection. “Uh, well, off the top of my head, I didn’t hit the carving fork, or the snail fork, or—”

“Alright, alright.” Sora held a hand up, “I get it, Rosi.”

“That’s not even breaking the threshold of all the different kinds of spoon—”

“If you start listing spoons at me, I will force you to eat this bread with your fish fork.”

The blond snickered, “Why would I eat bread with a fork?”

“I-I don’t know. Enough, saying the word fork! I’m getting sick of it!”

A hum as Rosinante silently went back to eating his salad. Both of them just eyed around the bar between bites, glancing out the window to monitor the weather. Eventually he sipped from his drink again. “Y’know, if this rain keeps up, we might have to fork this one over to them.”

read the full story here ♥

previous entry can be found here!

[veekaybee]

I’ve been reading Luca Cesari’s “The Discovery of Pasta” about the historical context of Italian food. You would expect it to be a super cute lighthearted book full of charming anecdotes like “And so the Genoans discovered wild basil and decided to make pesto,” but it’s actually incredibly bleak.

You’ll be reading something like, “And so, we think that pasta alla carbonara, which is a wonderful dish combining pasta guanciale and pecorino was initially eaten by the carbonari, charcoal burners who went to the mountains to gather woods and transform it into charcoal. These carbonari had really really shitty lives, just awful, even worse than the average Italian peasant. But if you think they were eating anything as indulgent as pasta, you’d be WRONG. They ate mostly GRUEL and HOPE for breakfast. Anyway! Back to spaghetti alla carbonara. To prepare it, you need just the right pecorino.” And if that’s not whiplash I don’t know what is.

Anyway it’s a fun book!

[artsy-hobbitses]

Okay so I found an Asian MarketTM (according to the sign out front) in my new town, and decided to look for sticky rice, because while my taste in food has been described as "bizarre" and "that's serial killer shit (affectionate)", I know I like sticky rice and can PROBABLY not fuck it up-- ...turns out the market was more specifically an SEA market so they didn't have a ton of specific rices. Oops? Did manage to score a package of sweet rice, though, which I'm told is the same thing. Anyway, I know you've been talking about food lately, and seeing ingredients like millet flour and coconut powder (and 5-pound bags of spices) has piqued my interest, so-- what's a good SEA dish for beginner cooks to make? ....Okay let's be more realistic here, what's a good dish for an American with the palate of an English peasant from the 1500s and the ability to start a (small! It was small!) fire while boiling water.

....It occurs to me this may be an impossible question to answer, or perhaps a case for a "take the L and order takeout from real chefs" response, but I'd appreciate your input nonetheless (and recommendations on what kind of candies to look for at that store, because I will Definitely be going back for those at some point)

Off the top of my head with you mentioning "the palate of an English Peasant", is Bubur Lambuk (and not just because it may somewhat resemble gruel :'3)! It's basically a spiced, savoury thick porridge (It's heftier/less watery than Chinese-style congee) that you'll find being given out at almost every mosque in the SEA during Ramadan. It's tradition so to speak! You'll almost never leave a mosque without a baggie of the stuff to bring home eueb

I've linked a recipe you could try out! It's from a Singaporean so it should be close to the dot. Definitely something nice for cold weather! The recipe doesn't mention it, but you can pop in cubed potatoes, carrots and even peanuts if you'd like. I've had versions of it with those items before. I've got my own recipe for spiced chicken porridge from my mom I'm going to be experimenting with ouob

Candies are of an interesting to when it comes to SEA! Admittedly I don't eat a ton of them, but what I can remember are colorful icing sugar biscuits (we also call them Gem Biscuits, and we were constantly divided between the ones who'd eat the icing only, and the ones like me who preferred only the biscuit with a little bit of icing), Kacang Pipang (peanut candy) and Nano Nano sweets (a childhood fave, basically a delicious, fruity sweet-sour-salty thing). Oh, Sugus (a soft fruit taffy) and Kopiko if you need a caffeine fix, but candy. Both very popular with the locals still. Pics as below, in order.

[goetzjpvis]

2/2/24 "The Seven Samurai" JPT3391

Whew! A 3 hour runtime! That definite'y wasn't overwhelming.

Due to it's long runtime, it's JAM PACKED with social commentary, symbolism, and introspection on global issues. As with many of the films we have analyzed in this class, they are from a time before postmodern Japan, and this one in particular involves samurai, farmers, and bandits- what was once a reality for Japan, but no longer is. Despite that, this movie still provides insight toward the modern world that readers can draw parallels toward.

In the movie, we see many occupations and professions and their treatment within society. There are famers, samurai, bandits, and commoners. Although famers are arguably the most important people in this community (for they provide the sustenance that everyone relies on), all of the prestige falls upon the samurai, whom the farmers hire to protect their crop from the bandits. The disconnect between importance and prestige is constantly elaborated on throughout the beginning of the film, as a samurai is seen spitting on a farmer for speaking to him (he believes that the farmer is not worthy of the samurai's respect), and the farmers eat gruel while the samurai eat white rice. You may be able to draw parallels to modern Japanese work culture, in which low-level workers often do the hard, labor-intensive jobs that society benefits the most from, where the upper-echelon of the company reaps the benefits that come with the company's success. Additionally, lower level employees do not communicate with higher level employees unless they are spoken to first. Generally, however, this is a prevailing concern with many societies, and points towards larger issues like corruption and abuse of power.

I think that the film must have been inspiring to the audiences that watched it at the time because of the main idea showcased: You can rise out of your own ranks to achieve great things, despite the "class" you were "born into". It was common in feudal Japan for Samurai to be born of wealth, commoners and farmers were lower class. Nobility almost never mixed with commonfolk, as it was generally frowned upon. Despite that, there were several moments in the film where characters went outside of their assigned class, disobeying the social order, yet they were rewarded. Katsushiro enjoyed a romance with Shino (who is a peasant girl) and him rising the ranks in order to become a strong samurai, despite that he was originally a commoner/farmer. I believe this would inspire viewers to reach outside of their comfort zone and reach for experiences that would otherwise be outside of their grasp. It could be applied to skin color, gender, age, etc.

[thecowboyghost]

cannot stop thinking about you are a peasant who eats gruel

[thegreateyeofsauron]

you know how in like furry world building when the topic of carnivores comes up they’re either like “well reptiles/birds/bugs aren’t anthro in this world so they eat those”, “there’s both anthro animals and non-sentient non-anthro animals and the anthro ones eat those”, or “vore, it’s literally just vore.”

but what if like there were both sentient anthro animals and non-sentient 100% pure instinct anthro animals, like if our world had both sapient humans and non-sapient basically human shaped animal humans who look just like us except they can tear your arm off like a chimp.

like imagine bob, this fox dude peasant farmer in his shitty little peasant village (his people evolved into full omnivores, which is good for him because he gets to eat nothing but watery gruel with only the crunchy roaches that crawled into his bowl when he was distracted to serve as flavor).

and then in the dark scary woods surrounding bob’s village there’s packs of like fully carnivorous wildmen foxes who are basically just bestial minds in people bodies. they make all the terrifying fox noises that civilized beasts like bob never do, they prowl around in the dead of night and tear their prey apart with their bare claws to feast on their warm innards while they’re still alive and they don’t care if the prey happens to walk on two legs, they live in dens instead of houses, rely on instinct instead of learned knowledge and training, etc.

often during the night they’ll sneak into villages, break into homes, and brutally cannibalize their civilization cousins when one of the bonfires in the villages protective ring of flames is snuffed out. (the villagers wish they had the massive steel oil-lit braziers guarded by night watchmen that the cities employ)

it is said that when an animal too greatly heeds their buried instincts they will run into the woods to join their wild brethren in ecstatic frenzy.

[deke-rivers-1957]

The Greatest Hero in the Empire Part 13

"I. Ate the food that w-was given to me, my Em-emp-empress. I. Never had any choice of w-what I eat or w-when I eat it. Us-usua-usually I wo-would eat like other slaves. Some-someti-sometimes I'd get lucky and get two bowls of gru-gruel with bread."

I was honest with the empress. I'm not really sad or mad about what I got to eat. I've been living like this my whole life. I wouldn't know anything other than how I've been living like a slave.

"How is this possible that you were able to maintain this size? You need meat for your muscles. All royal guards are fed meat for this."

Again I don't know how to answer. I'm still not sure how I got to be this size when other men like me are normal sized. I don't think I'll ever know how I got to be this size.

"I. Don't know. I. Never re-really ate meat. I've been a slave my whole life."

I'm totally honest. A slave doesn't get the same rights as a guard or even a peasant would. The way we're dressed and fed I guess are meant to show that.

"Who made you a slave?"

I think back to a long time ago. I'm not sure exactly when it started but I remember a man. My mother said that was my father. He'd hurt us a lot.

"My. Fa-father. He. K-killed my mo-mother. He. Ma-made me a slave, my em-empress."

I can't even look at her. My mind's back to my time serving him. I can still remember the beatings.

"I was be-beaten when I tried to es-escape. He. For-forced me to ser-serve him. Until he fin-finally died."

I can't even see the empress anymore. I can only see me and my father. He just seems to tower over me. Everything I did he'd just hit me. I couldn't even cry or scream without getting hit.

"He. Hit me so hard. One day. He hit me in the thro-throat. I. Cou-couldn't talk. Been too sc-scared to talk. Just di-didn't want to get h-hit again."

I can feel the empress' soft hands. I don't deserve it though. I spoke bad about my former master. I'm lucky that she hasn't hit me for that.

I've been talking this whole time when the empress only wanted me to answer one question. I break down and start to cry. I can't handle thinking about this man anymore. I also can't handle not knowing when I'm going to get punished again.

[heavenlyhoundoom]

Church of the bat. Chapter 2, part 7

(After defeating two more bosses, Marceline was ready for her second fight with Empress, she enters Reptila and comes across an iguana named Evan who wanted to live in her village.)

Evan: Do you mind if I live with you guys?

Marceline: Not at all, the more the merrier.

(Marceline teleports Evan to the village and continues on her journey, eventually getting to Empress' temple.)

Empress: Cultists, give your youth to me!

(The cultists sacrificed their youth to power Empress' crown and then they sacrifed themselves because they were conditioned to believe that the good die young, the powered crown turned Empress into a monstrous snake with arms made of gold, she could go invisible, use hypnosis to make Marceline dizzy and forgetful, and throw gold bars at the bat, Marceline manage to win wish two hearts left and convert Empress into a follower. When they got back home, Empress was starving.)

Leo: (smug) How ironic, the former God of famine is starving.

Empress: Shut the fuck up, Leo.

Marceline: There's a left over grassy gruel.

Empress: I would rather starve than to eat that peasant food!

Marceline: (annoyed) I'll go make a splendid veggie bowl...

Empress: Much better.

(Marceline make a splendid veggie bowl and feed it to Empress, who are it without as much as a simple thank you.)

Marceline: (agitated) Why don't you pick somewhere to sleep?

Empress: Alright, I'll go pick a place where I can get my beauty sleep.

(She heads to the end of the shelter area to pick an empty serene shelter by the pond.)

Marceline: You could've picked one of the shelters that were closer to both you and the temple.

Empress: Well those shelters were clearly made for peasants and I deserve the best.

Marceline in thought: This bitch is lucky I didn't declare the murder follower doctrine!

(Marceline heads to the temple and sees that Evan picked a shelter closer to everything.)

Evan: Marceline, this shelter is great and that berry bowl was delicious, you're the best.

(Marceline smiles from Evan's kind words.)

Marceline: Thank you, Evan.

The end of chapter 2, part 7.

[awfuckward]

everytime im at the grocery store planning on buying oatmeal i think about that ‘you are a peasant who eats gruel’ post so i dont. and then i regret it in the morning i want my stupid sugary gruel

[asweetprologue]

Food of the Continent

Alright kids this is a little different from my normal stuff and entirely self indulgent! I recently worked on a fic that involved mention of quite a bit of food, and me being myself, I put a decent amount of research into it. I decided to compile that for those who, like me, get to a scene where the boys are eating and find themselves at a loss. What would a medieval witcher and bard eat on an average day? I’ve based my findings on medieval Poland, which isn’t, obviously, the Continent. If you want to add potatoes to your fantasy world, go ahead! The Witcher 3 certainly did. But if you’re looking for accuracy, please see an extensive list of medieval appropriate foods below the cut! 

Medieval Polish Cuisine

Meat

Pork

Beef

Poultry

Fish

Royalty/Nobility only: Venison

Most common: Pork, Beef

Breads

Rye bread - Used mostly commonly for trenchers

Common white bread - Often used for harvest feasts

Rusks or binavice - A hard tack-like bread used for soldiers' rations

Manchet breads - Essentially wheat rolls

Boiled breads (bagels, ring pretzels) -  Also called circuli or bracellus if you don’t want to say that Geralt is eating a bagel, but he could have! They were a very common street food.

Rogale or crescent rolls

Most common: Trenchers, white wheat rolls

Vegetables  

Field peas

Cabbage

Onions

Fava beans (used for animal fodder, peasant food, and flour)

Mushrooms

Leeks

Beats

Kale

Lentil (lower class food, often stewed)

Parsnips

Cucumbers (treated as a fruit, a type of melon)

Skirrets

Rutabagas

Turnips

Radishes

Lettuce

Alexanders

Carrots (VERY rarely)

Most common: Peas, cabbage, onion; parsnips and skirrets in the winter

Notes: Pickling and dry storage were extraordinarily important for surviving the winter months. Peas could be saved dry and reconstituted by soaking them in water, and cabbage was turned into sauerkraut. Also note the lack of potatoes! Anytime you think of potatoes in a meal, substitute them for turnips.

Fruits and Nuts

Apples

Pears

Plums

Cherries

Hazelnuts

Strawberries

Blueberries

Raspberries, sloes, cranberries, and rowans (all used to make juice or in fermented beverages)

Raisins

Almonds (expensive)

Figs (expensive)

Most common: Apples, pears

Notes: Serves always after the main meal, fresh or cooked. Apples were often dried and eaten year round, or made into a butter and jarred. While not part of the Polish diet, I posit that more exotic fruits like oranges (used for cooking, not eating), peaches, lemons, and dates could probably be brought north from Nilfgaard, but they would be more rare and expensive the further north you went!

Herbs

Parsley (helps kill the onion smell)

Dill

Garlic

Mustard

Fennel

Most common: Parsley and dill

Oil

Lard

Butter

Poppy and hemp oil

Notes: Butter and lard were extremely important. Medieval people burned a lot of calories, so fats were a critical part of their diet. Almost every meal would have been smothered in some kind of animal fat, unless it was a Friday.

Drinks

Honey water/milk

Hydromel (similar to mead, less alcohol)

Mead

Ale

Wine

Desserts

Placki, flat cakes

Tortae, high quality desserts made only with high grade bolted flour. Could have been a type of strudel with rich cheese based filling. Also could refer to small, flat cakes. Also could have been similar to cheesecake.

Marzipan (expensive)

Notes: In a contradictory fashion, when you read sweetmeats, that means desserts. It usually refers to a highly sugary confection, such as candied fruits or nuts. Sweetbread on the other had, does refer to meat, and is made from offal. I know. 

Common Dishes Gruel of mixed grains - Side dish, served with meat and a wheat bread Courtier's Pottage - One pot dinner made with millet, peas, bacon, onion, vinegar and parsley. Would have been quite thick due to the millet. Extremely common. Parsnip, Leek, and Alexander Stew - Common in early spring, typical one pot meal for a noble family. Served with cheese dumplings. Pears stewed with Cucumbers and Figs Chicken baked with Prunes - Common in noble establishments. Either cooked in a covered pot, or wrapped in dough to form a kind of giant turnover on festive occasions. Ham stewed with Cucumbers - A rich dish made with butter, onion, beer, and cucumber, raisins, and cranberries. Sour cream was added to the stew to thicken it. Lentils and Skirrets with Bacon - Stew Beer Soup - A classic stew made with leeks, cabbage, flour, beer, eggs, and cheese Fish Aspic - A kind of savory gelatin, usually used as an ornamental component of a larger banquet display Game stewed with Sauerkraut - Bigos, served at royal banquets. Peasants probably had their own versions using pork or beef instead of venison. Crepes - Probably served not as a dessert but during dinner, with beer soup and cheese or fish aspic. Krepel - Flat cake of layered cheese and bread, fried and served with strawberries or fruit Praskury - Wafers Apple flat cake - Essentially like an apple pizza Honey cakes - Kind of flat cake saturated with honey.

If your characters are eating Breakfast, they're probably eating millet porridge, eggs, or bacon. If they are eating Lunch, they are probably eating trencher bread with lard or cheese or soaked in beer, or stew. If they are eating Dinner, they are probably eating some kind of meat, usually pork or beef, with vegetables like cabbage, peas, onions or parsnips, either in some kind of one pot stew or plain. Desserts are almost always sweetened with honey, and include fried breads and wafers.

Roadside meals would probably consist of fresh meat from hunts (mostly poultry and rabbit), either roasted or put in a stew; rusks, eaten plain or soaked in water or ale; wild berries or apples; reconstituted peas; sauerkraut; and root vegetables like parsnips, turnips, radishes and onions that would save well over several days. Wild parsnips could probably be found easily in the Northern Realms.

I hope this was helpful to someone! This is meant to help you generate ideas, not to be used as a strict guide for what to include in your fics. This is fantasy, so you can absolutely do whatever you want, and besides that it will always be hard for us to be accurate about what exactly went on in the medieval kitchen. However I hope this helps give you an idea about what the average tavern might be serving, and you can worry a little less about what to include in those pesky meal scenes. 

Source: Food and Drink of Medieval Poland by Maria Dembinska, English translation by William Woys Weaver

[dominusfero]

KevDan Swan King AU where Daniel is a swan-person and Kevin is a common peasant of the human realm who visits Daniel's favorite lake.

Kevin eats his meals at the lake after a grueling day of farm work and he comes across this big Cob (male swan) who seems to be interested in him. He feeds it, it lets him pet it and it sits with him while he's there.

Kevin grows attached to his little buddy and looks forward to seeing him.

But one day, his little buddy isn't there but some blond man, a king it seems, IS and Kevin immediately assumes this asshole killed or captured his friend since royals tend to do so for the "eccentricity".

The rest you will see come KevDan Week Day 6: Confessions