#you are important and your correspondence matters to me and i appreciate your patience as i work shit out

[guqin-and-flute]

OKAY. I have been doing some really good blocks of writing over the past few weeks--like several sessions with ~2000 words. Unfortunately, a lot of it has been skipping around on different fics (I'm trying to be better about unhealthy sleep habits, so I'm not writing in huge, hyperfixated chunks. Or trying not to 😬).

So, if you would like, feel free to poke, request, remind so it stays on my conscious mind! Do not feel obligated, this is only if you feel the urge, it will get done either way!

[pretoriafics]

Therapy sessions with the devil

I'd did this request yesterday on my Portuguese blog, and I thought that you guys would love it!

Anonymous asks: Y/N is a therapist who works for Vought and is doing a few evaluations on the Super.

Word count: 1.806 Contain: Therapist!Reader x Homelander Warnings: Mention of sexual violence, mention of serial killers, mention of cases of children with psychopathy, mental disorders. +16 only Versão em português aqui  PART 2 THE BOYS MASTERLIST

Your profession was gratifying.

You loved the idea of helping people, getting to know each other better, and getting them to learn to deal with life's challenges. For you, being a kind of "confidant", where people could talk about their lives without any judgments, was an honor and your purpose. You believed that it would make the world a better place.

However, it also had its burdens. Some things were difficult to hear, even for you with all your knowledge and professional background. Patients who suffered from sexual violence, for example, demanded of you a stomach that you were not always able to have. It was something you talked to your therapist about, and you kept a mantra in mind: After all, you were still human, and it was okay to feel that way.

And when Vought invited you to work as a therapist for The Seven, you went nuts. It was the chance of a lifetime!

Or, at least, this was what you thought at the beginning.

It was not uncommon for you to hear things that made your stomach a little sick, just like when The Deep told you about the way he “welcomed” Starlight. You felt nauseous but, on the outside, remained impassive, just watching him as a silent request to continue to talk.

All of them were, simply, not only media products but also puppets of the advertising world. You already had some political patients, and in fact, you thought The Seven was a similar case: Both went to that market with the intention, many times, to help people. However, they ended up corrupted in the middle of the road, forgetting their whole purpose in helping others.

You saw a point in common between The Seven: Everyone, with perhaps the exception of Starlight, was too worried about their own egos to be real heroes. They were all too narcissistic.

But Homelander was the worst of them.

The childhood phase was the most important part of a person's life. A traumatic childhood could lead to a troubled adult, as in the case of Mary Bell and Beth Thomas. Homelander's case was no different: his non-affectionate childhood, being raised as a laboratory rat, was the bigger reason to make him that kind of man.

Although at the same time you were fascinated about to study a mind like that - since one of the reasons why you did psychology would be to unveil the secrets of the human mind - each therapy session was daunting and made you rethink your job at Vought.

In short, you were interviewing a serial killer. Easily one of the most cruel and unhealthy.

"Good morning, Homelander." Your voice was soft, just like the smile you gave to the super who just sat on the couch.

"Good morning, Doctor." He returned the smile to you, but the smile on his own way: The corners of your mouth pulled to the side in a smile that you recognized as fake.

"So..." You put your hands on your knee, looking at him with the best receptive look you could pretend. There, in that office, your sessions with Homelander made you feel you deserved an Oscar "How was your week?"

“Well…” He lay down on the couch, his blue eyes staring at the ceiling, and his hands joined in front of his stomach “Nothing new. In fact, he had a little incident with Maeve. Sometimes she is so… pathetic. ”

"What happened?"

It took a while for Homelander to actually get some confidence in you. In fact, he only started telling you things in detail when he realized he could get something out of the sessions. They were productive to him, they made him think. You didn't know if you were thanking God for getting something out of him, or if you should cursing yourself because of the horrors he tells you.

"Maybe you saw something about the 37 Flight on the news."

"The one who had been captured by the terrorists?"

"Exactly! Maeve and I had to rescue the plane. We managed to take down the terrorists, but when I killed the last one, in the Pilot's cabin, I hit the plane's controls with the lasers. And then, the flight was doomed. I told Maeve that our job was done and we should leave, but she was reluctant. He wanted me to save the passengers! ” He laughed, but a natural one. "Can you believe that?"

Oh, it was going to be a long therapy session...

"And what happened next?"

“What did she want me to do? That I fly 137 times from the plane to land? Ah, pathetic, pathetic! ” He shook his head, clearly humorous. "Now, just imagine: You are on a flight with 137 people shouting 'Help, Homelander!', While your stupid partner insists that you should do something to save everyone. I was losing patience so I threatened everyone with my eyes, and they finally settled down. I don't blame them, I mean, they are so vulnerable. They are bugs! ” He looked at you, the corners of his mouth pulled in a fake smile. "No offense."

Homelander was a cold-blooded killer. Not only, but like Ted Bundy, he was a narcissist. He liked the feeling of power that invaded his body when he saw that people feared him, and when he felt that he had the power to decide whether that person would live or not. He didn't mind if killing people just for fun was against the law. Homelander didn't care about the law or any kind of rules. Furthermore, just as Bundy believed he was fully capable of defending himself in his court's judgment and did not need lawyers, Homelander thought he was an incarnate God walking among the 'bugs', simply because he had powers.

"And how do you feel about Maeve?"

“She bothered me a little with the drama on the plane, but that's okay. I am sure that after I spoke to the journalists, near the wreckage of the flight, she understood. This is all going to be an excellent opportunity to make our presence in the army happen. ”

A sociopath.

Empathetic behaviors aren't part of him. He was unable to have that feeling. Self-centered, Homelander was unable to love. The relationship he had with Stiwell, for example, was far from loving. He didn't feel it, quite the opposite: Homelander had a feeling of possession with her. She was his, and nobody else's.

A doubt hammered in your head: Homelander was intending to drop the plane? Your stomach was upset, you felt bad about that therapy session. How could Vought leave someone like him in The Seven?

The answer was simple: They didn't care. Homelander was profitable, and that was all that mattered.

That was one of the times when you thanked God that Homelander was self-centered enough to lie on the couch and just think about your own life, instead of analyzing you and realizing that you were completely terrified. It was as if a misstep, a wrong word, was going to cost his life.

And you would end that today.

You conducted the therapy session normally. In the end, you shook hands with Homelander as you always did and closed the door. Tears invaded your face as you thought of each life that was lost in vain on that flight, and, worse, you were sure that Maeve would tell you about the flight at her therapy session, early next week. In an attempt to calm down, you took some coffee and sat down in front of your MacBook. There, sipping coffee, you wrote your resignation letter.

Alright. You were free.

Or at least this was what you thought.

 * * *

Another week has started, and the fact that you worked at Vought made you get a more comfortable office, in addition to increasing your service price. You were ending your day. Your last patient had left the office, and you were about to go home when you heard a familiar voice from your couch.

"I miss you in the tower."

Homelander looked at you with his pairs of sick blue eyes, his fake smile, and his murderous hands behind his body. He was standing next to the couch, and you felt your whole body freeze. A lump formed in your throat, and your hands vibrated in pure dread.

So he would kill you there? In your office?

Trying to take control of the situation, you faked a slight smile.

“Sorry, Homelander. I didn't saw you here. Need something?"

"Actually, I do." He started walking towards you slowly. "I didn't want to end our sessions, so I came to ask you what our new schedule is going to be."

You narrowed your eyes.

"I thought Vought was going to hire someone else to work with The Seven in my place."

“In fact, they put an incompetent in your place. I really prefer that we continue where we left off. ” He stopped in front of you with his smile, his eyes emanating pure insanity "I like our therapy sessions."

“I'm glad that you like my job and that you appreciate our results, Homelander” You gave him a smile, but inside you were still in pure dread “But I don't have appointments available. My schedule filled up easily after I came to this new office. ”

“Oh, but I'm sure you can fit me in your schedule. I can pay you well. ”

How to say no to Homelander without putting your life at risk?

You walked over to your tablet, on your desk. You took it in hand and slid your finger on the screen, analyzing awhile. You didn't need him to tell you that you would be paid well. In fact, you were fully aware of that. The point was that you could exchange all the money in the world to be at peace, without having to deal with Homelander. Without much choice, you concluded that you would reserve a single day for your therapy sessions with him. That way, your head wouldn't get so tired when you still had to deal with other patients.

“Are you available on Friday morning? At nine."

He nodded, giving the same smile he did when he achieved something. One of pure contentment.

"Of course!"

"Great so." You typed 'Homelander' in the space corresponding to the hour. You put the tablet down on the table, next to your MacBook “There, it's done. Friday, at nine in the morning. ”

“Ah, perfect! Thank you. Have a good night."

"Good night, Homelander."

He walked over to your balcony. With a jump, he flew through the sky. You lay on your couch, terrified. Would you never get rid of him?

All that was left for you now was to be the therapist of the incarnate Devil.

[chocolate-parfait]

Oooh i love the halloween prompts! May i request 43 and 48 for Dazai? Thank you so much :)

The Devil's temptation - Ikemen Vampire (Dazai)

Pureblood!Dazai AU :)

I didn't exactly insist on it as it's not what I wanted to focus on, it's pretty subtle actually, but if we want to make more sense of his request then we'd have to consider him as a being able to turn his love interest into a vampire

43. “Do you know what I am?”

48. “Would you like to join me?”

How scandalous for a lady to wander the streets at such a late hour. It certainly wasn't the most recommended pastime, and definitely not one suitable for one of the worst neighborhoods in the city, where neither the electrical halo from the richer districts nor the sun rays could reach past the dark, thick clouds of pollution. Not that it was her personal choice to do such a thing, the fast paced rhythm of her heels against the cold and wet stone pavement spoke loud enough for anyone to hear.

Her labored, loud breaths were muffled by the sound of the heavy rain, and despite the fact that running in such conditions was a ridiculously risky thing to do, she was grateful for the thick curtain the sky had sent down on her as she hoped it served as some kind of protection from her pursuers. She felt eyes on her with each step she took, and she was pretty sure she saw a pair of glowing eyes blinking at her from the end of the road. Despite the fear she couldn't turn back on her steps now, they were following her. They were stronger and faster, and they fed on terror and human lives, sometimes even turning you in one of their own kind, at least that's what she had heard from the gossips in the city market. She had dismissed those ridiculous voices as fruits of the irrational human mind, a childish trick by the horror-loving subconcious of humans.

But oh, did she take it all back now. Now that her heart was so close to popping out of her heaving chest, she didn't have the arrogance to refuse the reality behind what the newspapers and rumors had tried to warn her about.

She realized that tears were freely flowing down her rain-stained face the moment something tepid caressed her cheek following repetitive, vertical paths, but there was no use in trying to dry them, she was already drenched to her very core anyways.

In spite of the fatigue creeping up her numb limbs, she shivered in her damp, frigid clothes. She was definitely going to catch one of the worst colds ever, if she made it out alive, that is, but the thought, for some unkown reason to her, brought her back to the warm memories of her days at her father's shop. The remembrance of the addicting smell of books, the refreshing one of newly imported exotic teas, her father's deep voice coming from behind the counter and the chime of clients happily chatting about the newest entries in the catalogue. These were all faimiliar images she was extremely fond of, but the dissonance between the past and the present plunged her mind into an seemingly endless maze of chaos and near delirium.

As her lucidity slipped away further away from her grasp, a face came to her mind, casting light on her heart like a beacon and chasing the darkness away, slowly melting the paralysis that had freezed her brain in a state of utter fright. It was the visage of a man that had recently become part of her everyday life, a necessary ingredient for the formula of her happiness. With his amber orbs and calm smile, he had charmed his way deep into her heart in a matter of just a couple days and regular visits. He'd come to the shop almost every day, leisurely walk between the shelves in search of a new book and then take a look at the imported goods. It was a pretty small business but they had signed deals that let them have first quality products from the far oriental continent. That's probably the reason why he became one of their best buyers. He came from a land far, far away, and his facial features made that much clear to anyone who looked at him, but what she cared about the most wasn't his face nor the thickness of his wallet, she cherished his voice, his laugh, the way he moved and the way he looked at her; deep in her heart she hoped to be able to voice her feelings sooner or later, yet she feared the traces of affections in his golden orbs would transform into disgust and hatred.

Oh, the way the poor thing's core fluttered with anticipation whenever she thought of him! So immersed in her own fantasies that she didn't realize the grave mistake she had made... To fall in love with a monster, that was a sin the Heavens weren't too keen on forgiving.

A loud thud coming from the end of the path teared her from the rose gardens of her mind. She had been running for who knows how long, but now her escape had brought her to a dead-end. She felt a piercing shiver run down her spine, making her hair stand up like a scared animal's, and then again, once again she felt that pair of eyes on her back. She turned on her heels but was met with the dark void of an empty, unfamiliar street. She had thrown herself into an even bigger mess, for thus she knew that no scream, no matter how loud or pleading, would get someone to bother coming to rescue her, not in that part of the city. An imposing sense of dread filled her whole being to the brim, preceding that fake ray of salvation that was coming her way.

A hand suddenly grasped her wrist, pulling her back against something akin to a wall, yet warm and breathing, even in that glacial rain. Something soft tickled her neck from behind, and a voice spoke into her ear.

"What are you doing here, Kazuko-san?" It was his voice, she would recognize it everywhere. That subtle accent, the smooth and pleasant tone, it was the voice she had so longed to hear in those moments of deep despair that chased her the whole escape. She turned her body to face him, and threw her arms around the man's neck.

"I'm so glad you're here! I-...I was so scared-" she whined, feeling her voice finally crack, letting the adrenaline dissipate through her strangled sobs. In the midst of her delight she didn't even question where he came from nor what he was doing there, and he knew that.

Dazai smiled a wicked grin, one too twisted to be recognized as his. His pupils flew to her trembling form and narrowed like that of a cat's, though almost glowing with a supernatural light. "My dear, don't you know that all men are wolves?" He chuckled and pulled slightly away. By closing once more the gap between their faces, he could now get an even better view of the confusion and fear forming in the clear jewels that were her eyes.

"Do you know what I am?" At the sound of those words he felt her shiver against him. How addicting of a feeling that was, he could never seem to get enough of her. Those pearly eyes full of innocence that gleamed with joy and delight whenever they met his, that warm voice that shyly singed his name at the sight of him, those small, delicate hands that fidgeted with a rebel strand of hair when he knew all they wanted was lose themselves in his violet locks. She smelled amazingly appetizing, and her pure, chaste feelings only made him want to gobble her up right then and there, but something was telling him that just once wouldn't have been enough. Whether that something was his own vampiric instincts or his inner demons, he didn't know, nor did he have the time to care.

"Don't tell me you still haven't realized?" He teased her, grazing her smooth skin with his fangs. She wasn't dumb, and he was sure the answer to that question was already swirling around her pretty little head.

Another shiver. Was it from the insistent rain or the influence those canines had on their victim? She was scared, throughoutly frightened, and the way her insides twisted with pleasure at the closure between their bodies made her want to beat herself up. A monster was about to turn her into its next meal, and even if it was the man she loved she should have been running away, she should have been kicking and screaming her lungs out, but precisely because it was Dazai she couldn't bring herself to move. A small moan left her lips, a product of the interior conflict that was taking place in her core, and when she felt him tighten his hold because of it, she felt the Devil tempt her harder and harder, until she couldn't stand it no more.

"Oh, I have an idea!"

"Would you like to join me? ” he whispered loud enough for her to hear despite the rain and, perhaps, joking. If she refused he would've gladly let her go with no problem, playing off the whole incident as a mere joke, but the sarcasm flew right over her head, and appealing to her determination, she made a decision.

If making this sacrifice meant becoming his for eternity, if it meant having her feelings corresponded, if it meant feeling those lips touch her body and sweet words grace her ears, then she was ready to sign the contract to reserve her own personal seat in Hell, right next to his'.

"P-please-" she breathed in his ear. "Please, make me yours..."

All his life, he couldn't be satisfied unless he tainted whatever he touched with his own dirty colors, and although he was aware of how much he tried to resist his overwhelming thirst - a clear sign of his attraction and true feelings - for her these past few weeks, his patience had run thin. If before he was on the verge of snapping, after hearing that desperate plea he felt all his self control suddenly slip away from his grasp.

He bit down on her neck, teeth piercing its soft flesh, and a wave of euphoric pleasure came crashing down on both of them. The more he feasted on her red essence, the more she tightened her frantic hands around the drenched fabric of his clothes in search of support as her knees grew weaker by the second.

There was no going back now, and in the last moments of conciousness, the warmth of a soft kiss and words of appreciation made their way through her hazy mind. This was something she wasn't going to regret, and no angel nor devil could change her mind.

[themousefromfantasyland]

Santa Claus and the Nature of Belief

I doubt anyone will read this thing, but here's my not-so-little essay: God is as real as Santa, and Santa is as real as God, and I don't say this in a negative way.

Every holiday season I end up reflecting about Santa and the nature of belief as a whole.

We tell our kids to believe in Santa, and generally we try to protect that belief for as long as we can. A frequent theme in Christmas movies is the kid or adult that don't believe in Santa Claus, but by the end of the movie their faith is restored and magic can be sensed everywhere.

And I wonder, what was all that truly about.

Yes, Virginia. There's a Santa Claus

This is the most reprinted newspaper editorial in the English language, and one of the most important pieces of Holiday lore in North America.

Virginia O'Hanlon was the daughter of a coroner's assistant, Dr. Philip O'Hanlon. In 1897, at eight years old, she asked her father if Santa Claus existed. Her father recommended that she send her question to "The Sun", a very important newspaper from New York City, which ran from 1833 until 1950. This was her original letter.

For the surprise of everyone involved The Sun responded the question of the little girl. As far as I can see there was no utterior motive. The paper ran the editorial in the seventh place on the page, below even one on the "chainless bicycle". But it was noticed by the readers. It became almost a legend.

What is important about the story is that the author of the editorial was Francis Pharcellus Church. This man was a war correspondent during the American Civil War. He saw pain, death, misery and despair.

"The Rest of the Story", a radio program that presented little-known or forgotten facts of History, described Church as a hardened cynic and an atheist who had little patience for superstitious beliefs. Initially, he didn't wanted to write the editorial. He even refused to allow his name to be attached to it.

His other writings typically espoused hardened cynicism, skepticism toward religion and superstition. Yet, his most memorable work celebrates faith.

Was he forced to write this thing? Why someone so contrary to blind faith and superstitious beliefs would try so hard to protect and legitimate the beliefs of a young girl? We will never know the answer.

Santa as a metaphor for God.

Mr. Kringle is not concerned for himself, if he was he wouldn't be here. He is in this regrettable position because he is willing to sacrifice himself for children. To create in their minds a world far better than the one we've made for them. If this is, as Mr. Collins suggests, a masquerade then Mr. Kringle is eager to forfeit his freedom to preserve that masquerade. To subject himself to prosecution to protect the children's right to believe. If this court finds that Mr. Kringle is not who he says he is, that there is no Santa, I ask the court to judge which is worse: A lie that draws a smile or a truth that draws a tear.

Miracle on 34th Street

To believe in something even when it doesn't make sense or when you don't have proof. This is a frequent theme in Santa movies. Many use Santa as a commentary on the nature of faith and use him as metaphor to the Christian god. No one took it so far as the 1998 remake of Miracle on 34th street.

The final proof on court that Kris Kringle may not be crazy is that since the US Department of Treasury can put "In God We Trust" on US currency with no hard evidence, then the people of New York can believe in Santa Claus in the same way.

The "Hogfather" and Terry Pratchett

I wrote this essay because I recently read the "Hogfather" by Terry Pratchett, and he basically wrote the best argument for faith and belief that I've ever seen.

First, there's this dialogue exchange:

"There are many who say this... person does not exist," he said.

He must exist. How else could you so readily recognize his picture. And many are in correspondence with him.

Well, yes, of course, in a sense he exists..."

In a sense everything exists

But this one takes the cake. This dialogue is between Susan Sto Helit and her grandfather Death, the best character in the book mind you. This is after they save the Hogfather, the Discworld version of Santa.

Susan: Thank you. Now...tell me...

Death: WHAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED IF YOU HADN'T SAVE HIM?

Susan: Yes! The sun would have risen just the same, yes?

Death: NO

Susan: Oh, come on. You can't expect me to believe that. It's an astronomical fact."

Death: THE SUN WOULD NOT HAVE RISEN

Susan: It's been a long night, Grandfather. I'm tired and I need a bath! I don't need silliness!

Death: THE SUN WOULD NOT HAVE RISEN

Susan: Really? Then what would have happened, pray?

Death: A MERE BALL OF FLAMING GAS WOULD HAVE ILLUMINATED THE WORLD.

Susan: All right, I'm not stupid. You're saying humans need...fantasies to make life bearable.

Death: REALLY? AS IF IT WAS SOME KIND OF PINK PILL? NO. HUMANS NEED FANTASY TO BE HUMAN. TO BE THE PLACE WHERE THE FALLING ANGEL MEETS THE RISING APE.

Susan: Tooth fairies? Hogfathers? Little—

Death: YES. AS PRACTICE. YOU HAVE TO START OUT LEARNING TO BELIEVE THE LITTLE LIES.

Susan: So we can believe the big ones?

Death: YES. JUSTICE. MERCY. DUTY. THAT SORT OF THING.

Susan: They're not the same at all!

Death: YOU THINK SO? THEN TAKE THE UNIVERSE AND GRIND IT DOWN TO THE FINEST POWDER AND SIEVE IT THROUGH THE FINEST SIEVE AND THEN SHOW ME ONE ATOM OF JUSTICE, ONE MOLECULE OF MERCY. AND YET YOU ACT AS IF THERE IS SOME...SOME RIGHTNESS IN THE UNIVERSE BY WHICH IT MAY BE JUDGED.

Susan: Yes. But people have got to believe that, or what's the point—

Death: MY POINT EXACTLY.

And it continues...

Death: THERE IS A PLACE WHERE TWO GALAXIES HAVE BEEN COLLIDING FOR A MILLION YEARS. DON'T TRY TO TELL ME THAT'S RIGHT.

Susan: Yes, but people don't think about that. Somewhere there was a bad...

Death: CORRECT. STARS EXPLODE, WORLDS COLLIDE, THERE'S HARDLY ANYWHERE IN THE UNIVERSE WHERE HUMANS CAN LIVE WITHOUT BEING FROZEN OR FRIED, AND YET YOU BELIEVE A BED. IT IS THE MOST TALENT."

Susan: Talent?

Death: OH, YES. A VERY SPECIAL KIND OF STUPIDITY. YOU THINK THE UNIVERSE IS INSIDE YOUR HEADS.

Susan: You make us sound mad. A nice warm bed...

Death: NO. YOU NEED TO BELIEVE IN THINGS THAT AREN'T TRUE. HOW ELSE CAN THEY BECOME?

Belief makes us human

It doesn't matter which religion is the true one because no one is. At the same time, all of them are.

Religion is about humans in the past finding patterns in the chaotic world, and trying to survive through it. By believing there's a order in the world, they were able to bring order to their communities and to their personal lives.

Belief is part of our nature. It's our way of understanding the world, of making sense of it all.

These characters and stories in a sense are very much real. They are metaphors for the forces we struggle with in our daily lives, the eternal hardship that is to be human

They don't have to be absolutely real to mean something. Think about your favorite character. They aren't real, but what they represent, best, what they represent to you, this is very real.

Listen, I not advocating for complete abandonment of logic and reality. Today we have a very serious problem with people who completely disregard facts and cults. They consume fake news, they believe in stupid pseudo-science and by refusing critical thinking they put others into danger.

And then there are the Christian fundamentalists, that by all talk about "Religious Freedoms", they really meat forcing their belief system in others and control what people can or cannot believe.

Facts and logic are very important. Always believe in the Science. And, I can stress this enough, Critical Thinking is ESSENTIAL to escape con artists and charismatic cult leaders.

But you can force people to live by only what it can be proved. We aren't robots. There will always be a hole that rationality alone won't be able fill. A deep existential hole that If left unchecked will destroy you bit by bit.

I'm not saying "You need to convert" or "You need religion". But there's clearly something way deep and transcendental in these rituals and stories.

I don't really believe in God and the supernatural. I say that as a gay men who had a lot issues with my overly religious parents. But the gods and these rituals and stories clearly mean something, and I think we shouldn't dismiss the living experiences of these people as just mere superstitions, be then christians, muslins, jews, Wiccans, neopagans, hindus, etc.

Belief certainly brought something to their lives, and certainly they know something we don't.

If your faith makes you happy, if it helps you bring order to your life, if helps you appreciate the world better, if it doesn't force you to discriminate, your faith is completely and integrally valid, and you don't have to prove it to anyone

[fundamentally-loathsome-lullaby]

@sonkolda your ask got deleted when i lost the whole reading for you. 😭 So let’s pretend this is your ask haha. you are absolutely on the nice list this year.

The deck I used for your reading was the Tales of the Mystical Cats tarot.

The card that came up for you was the seven of earth reversed, which corresponds to the seven of pentacles reversed. Though this isn’t mentioned in the guidebook for this deck, I got an intensely strong feeling that this card came up for you in regards to your living situation. It feels like you might be looking for a new apartment/new roommate, perhaps even thinking about leaving home for the first time if you are currently living with your family. It feels like you have been mulling over this change of residency for quite some time (and moving is pretty strenuous, ngl, so it is very smart of you to be prepared and to make the best decision for your safety and overall wellbeing💕). I get the sense that you are overthinking it though, which may be effecting other areas of your life unintentionally (no shade no tea, I’m a virgo sun and will overthink every possible thing on this planet to my very own demise- so you’re in an absolutely judgement-free zone with me😜). Whenever we hyper-focus on something, other parts of our existence in these silly human suits tend to get neglected. So it’s just important to be aware of that to save ourselves unnecessary hardships. Sometimes it helps to looks at things from a much broader perspective and ask ourselves, “What is the absolute worst thing that could happen? And even if it did, would that worst thing REALLY be that bad? Will I still have my mental and physical health even if the thing™️ goes wrong?” Our thoughts can be our greatest ally or our most malevolent nemesis- and we have the very power to make them fall into either category. Which will you choose? No matter what you decide, try to remember that everything in life is fluid and, consequently, is bound to change with time. Even terrible living situations won’t last forever. I truly hope you find the home that makes you feel truly at “home,” because you deserve so much happiness and wonderful things to come. I hope this made sense and that it helped in any small way; and I immensely appreciate your kindness and patience with the inital reading I did for you getting deleted with the glitchyness. May your holidays, and your path forward, be lit with the brightest light to show you the way (even when all other lights go out🧝‍♀️)

[ahrorha]

Flame of Winter

Bloody Orlesians. As much I find the quest in the Winter Palace brilliant, the whole concept of nobles playing the 'Game' makes me wanna kick them.

In this chapter, Ryan is back to his charming self (some of you commented he had a moment in the previous chapter, fear not he is back XD ). I had a hard time to figure out how to describe decorations, clothing and the judging atmosphere without repeating some words over and over again.

This has become a very long chapter. So much is happening before and during the ball, that I didn't want to cut in two. Also, I didn't want to rush to the last part of this chapter, because finally, the moment has arrived for some SMUT. I give out a warning if you are not comfortable with reading the details don't read the part between the double lines, but I think most of you will look forward to it.

Enjoy ;)

Chapter 17

Skyhold was buzzing with activity on their return. The actions of the Inquisition in the Dales had resulted in a flood of correspondence, visitors and delegates from all over Orlais. This together with the preparations for the ball at the Winter Palace, had Josephine running from one meeting to the next. She even had made schedules for everyone with lessons in etiquette, dancing and court politics. Everything was being checked and planned, from their luggage to their individual roles at the ball. It were hectic days, but considering their objective, it was no wonder Josephine was going the extra mile.

A few days before they would leave Eirlana and Solas were called to Josephine's office. Eirlana groaned. “I swear, if I have to hear one more time how to correctly hold a glass, I will turn all the drinks into ice.” Solas chuckled, he was happy she was her usual self again and that she had forgiven him. They had talked a lot during their journey back to Skyhold, and he had shared with her how important Wisdom was to him and why he had reacted the way he did. Of course, he had been careful not to tell too much, he couldn't afford another slip-up, like before. He even had made amends with Varric and Iron Bull, and he was grateful they had watched over Eirlana in his absence. When they told him about the attack on her, he was horrified. He carefully confronted Eirlana about what had happened to her afterwards. She shrugged it off as if it wasn't a big deal, but Solas could see at her whole demeanour that it was an act. She was trying to push it aside, as he suspected she did with many things. Until deep in the night they talked, slowly and with patience she opened up to him. With her buried against his chest, he listened to some of the things she had endured. His heart ached hearing details from her past, wishing he could take some of her pain away. He kept holding her, murmuring sweet words and encouragements, knowing he could do nothing more than be there for her. He promised himself that night, he would do anything in his power to protect her, to keep her safe, and if he could make her happy.

“Aren't you tired off all these lessons?” Amused by Eirlana's unusual reluctance to learn something new Solas smirked. “Not really.” She looked sceptical at him. “You can't tell me you prefer them over burying your nose in some dusty old tome.” “But my Lady.” he opened the door for her and made a grand bow towards her. “How else would I learn how to properly treat you with the respect you deserve.” Seeing his smirk on his face, she giggled; clearly, he was mocking the lessons they had received. With another ridiculous bow, he opened the next door leading to Josephine's office. She elbowed him playfully on his arm when they entered. Josephine looked up from the different stacks of letters before her. “Ah, you have come. I am happy to report your request for access to the University of Orlais has been granted. Sadly due to our busy schedule, you won't be able to ride for Val Royeaux at the moment, instead the University has provided an inventory of their library. You can compile a list of titles you want to study, and we will arrange for them to be sent to Skyhold. It may also be of interest to you that you have permission to visit the Royal Libraries during our stay at the Winter Palace, courtesy of Grand Duke Gaspard.” She sorted through the letters and pulled out a few. “We have also received several letters inquiring about you miss Eirlana. Your efforts in the Dales has gained the attention of some smaller but influential families. The University of Orlais has requested information about your healing methods and has extended a formal invitation for you to visit them. You will be able to speak with some representatives at the Winter Palace. Judging from the nature of the letters they may offer you a place among them. Of course, you are free to choose to follow another path, but know that everyone in the Inquisition greatly appreciates you and your skills.” Eirlana didn't know what to say. In her mind, she had done nothing special, only that what she thought was right as a healer. It made her happy to hear that some of her efforts were recognised, but she didn't know what to think of the invitation from the University. Her experiences in Orlais made her sceptical about their intentions. Though having access to their medical knowledge could be beneficial for her, the other healers of the Inquisition and most importantly the patients. . “Solas, Eirlana, there you are.” Leliana entered Josephine's office with Ryan, Iron Bull and Dorian in tow. “Please follow us to the war room if you have finished.” They thanked Josephine and followed them, Leliana came immediately to the point. “We have received new reports about the movements of the Venatori. According to my informants, they keep searching and digging in old ruins, especially if they are of elven origin. They have been sighted in these locations.” she pinned several markers on the giant map lying across the table. “As for what they are looking for we still don't know.” Solas was relieved to see that the places they were searching weren't crucial to his plans, but it was still vexing that they were looking in the first place. “If I have to guess they are looking for something that could help them in their goals. With the orb being ancient elven magic, they may be searching for more of such items and other forgotten magic. Judging by their locations, it is hard to tell if they are looking randomly, chasing rumours or have specific targets.” Leliana nodded. “We will be keeping an eye on them. I have also gathered more information about their leader. It is a mage named Calpernia, she has taken over the leadership of the Venatori. We know only a little about her earlier life. She is a former slave of a magister Erasthenes. As far as I can determine, the magister disappeared several months ago, together with her. ” “Erasth....” Dorian brushed his moustache. “I know him. He is an old geezer, more interested in his tomes and books than anything else. He is renowned in the Imperium for his knowledge of the Old Gods and has written many long and dull papers about them.” “This isn't much information we have about this Calpernia.” Ryan stated, his forehead wrinkled as he scanned the various reports. “Say Eirlana you were once a slave.” Most of the room went silent and stared at him for his blunt remark. Solas felt bile coming up, furious he glared at him. Eirlana put her hand on his, signalling it was alright. “Yes, I once was a slave.” “Why would she join Corypheus and do his bidding? Would she be loyal to this new master?” Wondering if he also questioned her own loyalty to their cause, she pondered about his question. “I think, it is safe to say, with Calpernia now in a leading position of the Venatori, that Corypheus had a hand in the disappearance of the magister. As for her loyalty, I don't know. What I can tell you from experience is being freed isn't something that any slave would take lightly. I will never forget that day in my life, and I will always be grateful towards Solas, but that doesn't mean I would follow his every wish or decision. I have a mind of my own, and so does this Calpernia. She must have her own plans and reasons why she is helping him, but judging by Corypheus actions so far, I doubt they have the same agenda. He must have offered her something that she wants. I can't tell you what it is, but I can tell you she must be a capable woman. Leading people is not an easy matter as you know by own experience.” Several people around the table smirked, knowing Eirlana's remark wasn't meant as a compliment. Solas was proud of her, but his heart also tightened when she mentioned him. It was bittersweet to know she wouldn't follow his every wish or decision. Even he himself wouldn't, but there hadn't been any other way, and now there was no other choice. He couldn't change what had happened or what was to come, he had to finish what he had set in motion so many millennia ago. . It was already late in the morning when Varric entered the Herald's rest. He knew he shouldn't have stayed so long at the game of Wicked Grace last night, but it had been the last opportunity before they would head to the dreaded Winter Palace. Ordering a late breakfast with lots of strong coffee, he joined Iron Bull and Blackwall at a table. “How is your head tiny? You look like you haven't slept at all.” Iron Bull only grunted and continued to devour his big serving of bacon and eggs. Dorian joined them a few minutes later, like always well groomed and impeccably dressed, but he moved and sat down awkwardly. “You all right Sparkles?” “Expect from the headache from that horrible ale you served me last night, I am fine thank you.” “You didn't have to drink it.” “What? And miss out on all the fun to drink something that tastes like it was brewed in the Fallow Mire at the bottom of a tar barrel. I can still taste it on the back of my tongue.” “Is that what you taste?” Iron Bull grinned at Dorian and received a deadly glare in return. Varric was more awake in an instant, he obviously had missed something when he went to bed last night. Before he could ask any further, they were all distracted by Eirlana walking briskly into the inn. She ignored them entirely and marched straight to Cabot, the bartender. “Cabot, have our supplies arrived?” The dwarf nodded. “I will get them for you.” “Everything okay Snowflake?” She turned around and was surprised she had walked past them. Varric motioned for her to join them and poured her a cup of thee from one of the pots on the table. “Here, you look like you have been running around all morning.” With a sigh she sat down, thankful she could take a short break.

“So who got on your nerves?” Warming her hands around the mug, Eirlana let out another sign. “Ryan.” This peeked everyone's interest around the table. “I tried to talk with him about moving the infirmary. There is room here in the fortress, but he wants to create more housing space for the templars and new training grounds.” frustrated she kept going. “How does he expect for people to do their jobs or fight when they can't even recover decently. The clinic is still outside in large tents. We can barely keep them warm and not to mention it isn't exactly peaceful being next to the huge training grounds we already have. Our patients can't even get a good rest with the constant yelling, shouting and weapons clanging.” Dorian looked bleary-eyed at her and groaned. “How can be so awake and full of energy after last night?” “Maybe I need to come up with a new nickname.” Varric joked. Eirlana only noticed now that they were all nursing severe hangovers, especially Dorian, who grunted and tried to find a more comfortable position to sit. “You sure you are alright Sparkles?” Eirlana saw he was in pain. “Are you not feeling well?” “I am fine.” he groaned. “Please go bother someone else.” “Oh yeah, Dorian about last night...” Iron Bull grinned at him from across the other side of the table. Dorian facepalmed himself. “Discretion isn't your thing, is it?” “I was just wondering if you want your silky underthings back? Found them after you slipped out this morning. Did you leave them as a token? Or wait, did you 'forget' them so you'd have an excuse to come back?” Blackwall almost chocked in his coffee, and Varric froze, his fork full of sausage halfway to his mouth. “If you choose to leave your door unlocked like some savage, I may or may not come.” “Oh, you came. Three times if I remember correctly.” “WHAT?!” came Sera's voice from upstairs, dangling upside down at her feet over the railing. Dorian groaned now he was sure that everyone would know about his little tryst with Iron Bull by noon. Varric had already pulled out his notes and was writing feverishly, mumbling. “This is getting better and better.” Contemplating if it would be wiser to go back to bed, he noticed Eirlana scooting closer to him. Discretely she hovered her hand over his lower back. The pleasant tingle of her healing magic spread over him, taking away the edge. Letting out a sigh of relief Dorian muttered. “Thank you.” Outside the midday bell was ringing, Varric put away his notes and took one last bite. “We better get packing, or I promise you Josephine will watch us do it, and I for one don't want a lesson in how to properly fold clothes.” With everyone leaving Eirlana took the bottles of alcohol from Cabot and walked back to the clinic, she had a lot to finish before they would leave the next morning. . Restless Eirlana put her book away for the fourth time, she couldn't get used to being at the Winter Palace. They had been housed in one of the many guest buildings, that was a smaller version of the Palace itself. The decadence of the place irked her, everything was lustrous marble, heavy brocade, inlaid and embroidered with gold and silver. There was nothing personal to be found, everything was polished and enriched to show off the power and opulence of the Orlesian Empire. She was anxious about tonight's ball, not that she hadn't prepared for anything imaginable, but her past experiences with nobles weren't the best. Tired of wandering through her own room, she slipped into Solas' through the small discrete door of their adjoined chambers. Solas sat comfortably in a lounge chair, reading in front of the open balcony doors. The room had changed in the two days that had been here. He had moved some of the furniture around, and an extra table had been brought in. On it, several books were spread out, opened and marked at various passages, his written notes lying scattered among them. The clothes he had worn lay discarded on a sofa, next to his open clothing-chest that was rummaged through. Looking around, Eirlana couldn't help but laugh, even surrounded by all this display of wealth and glitter he was acting like he was at home. Solas raised his eyes up from the book he was reading. “Something amuses you, vhenan?” “It seems like you have made yourself at home here.” She began to fold and put away his clothes, shaking her head at how much he had managed to get the room in disarray in such a short time. She wondered how a man, who was so precise and careful in his studies and paintings, could have such a hard time doing the most simple mundane tasks. It struck her how relaxed he was, as if he belonged here, not a stranger to the overbearing riches surrounding them. His presence calmed her down, and she was relieved he would be at her side tonight. Having finished tidying up a little, she took a cushion and sat down at his feet, leaning against his legs. Solas continued to read, but his hand reached out to her, softly stroking her head and neck. Enjoying the simple gesture, Eirlana stole loving glances at him. It was comforting he was acting like this was any other place, he hadn't wavered even once since they had arrived. With a confidence out of this world, he walked around as if he had visited the Winter Palace countless times before. She took his hand and let her lips glide over the back of it. Exhaling Solas looked down at her. Seeing his warm gaze made her heart flutter. Making occasional eye contact, she slowly kissed along his hand, his nostrils flared when she reached his fingertips. “Careful vhenan, you are playing with fire.” he growled. After the Dales, Eirlana felt more comfortable at being intimate, knowing that she could trust him made her more confident. Teasingly she scraped her teeth over his fingertip, making him groan. It was somehow empowering that she could do this to him, that she alone could so easily chip his masks away. He showed her parts of himself only she knew. She squealed when he suddenly pulled her up and onto his lap. His book fell forgotten to the ground. Laughing she tried to escape from his entrapping arms. “I have warned you.” he hummed and started to peck her on her nose and face. Suddenly he gasped when she touched him with an ice-cold hand. “I think I can handle fire.” she smiled at him challenging, biting playfully in his nose. “You little...” before he could finish his sentence they were kissing. . There was a knock at the door. “Excuse me Sir, but do you know... Oh, I beg your pardon.” It was Rosie one of the elven servants within the Inquisition. “Sorry for the interruption, but I have been looking for you, Miss. Your bath is ready.” She had been appointed to them for a couple of weeks now. At first, Eirlana had been reluctant to have a servant, but Rosie's charming open personality had made quick work of any objections she had. “Don't worry Miss, you have your job, and I have mine. Mine just happens to be to make your life a little easier.” she had said when she introduced herself to them. Trapped in Solas' arms Eirlana flustered “My bath? But the ball isn't until tonight.” “And we have to get you ready. There is so much to do. After the bath, we must prepare and curl your hair, manicure your feet and hands. I have some...” Rolling her eyes Eirlana groaned. “All right, I am coming.” Amused Solas listened, he was glad that they were getting along, especially because Rosie was one of his spies. Under those blond curls, rosy cheeks and friendly smile lay a natural snoop and a woman who could take care of herself. She had the critical task to listen in to the whispers behind their backs and warn him if anyone tried to pry around, especially when they were gone. His secrets were well hidden, but it was good to know who was interested in them. It was also a reassuring thought someone was looking after Eirlana when he was away. Eirlana leaned against him before she slipped from his arms with a sigh. Reluctantly he let go of her. He was thrilled that she was becoming more comfortable in her own skin, but especially on days like these, when she was exploring her own comfort zone, it was difficult for him to pull back. It took him a while, after they had left, before he could focus on his reading again. . Checking himself in the mirror one last time, Solas couldn't help but smirk. They may introduce him as a servant tonight, but no one in their right mind would believe it. He was wearing a set of tight dark brown leather leggings, his foot-wrappings, made from the same material, were wrapped in a criss-cross pattern halfway up his calves. His long, high collared, sleeveless vest, was made from heavy brocade. The dark brown fabric was richly embroidered with golden leaves and branches, with deep red and black details. The vest had a split in the back, and a cuff of dark fur attached over his right shoulder, decorated with a pin of the Inquisition. Around his waist, a tan leather belt embellished with golden leaves was bound. Under the vest, he wore a tailored white silken shirt with slightly billowing sleeves. As a finishing touch, he put on a pair of dark brown leather gloves, with an elven leaf pattern stitched onto them. Pleased with himself he took the elongated jewellery box that lay ready and went to the hall to join the others. Noticing his change in appearance a few eyebrows were raised. “Well, you will certainly ruffle some feathers tonight.” Dorian commented. “Hmph.” Vivienne huffed clad in a golden and red evening gown with one of her signature wide standing collars and headdresses. She was clearly not impressed with his non-hedge-mage appearance. “Oh, my.” Dorian said, and Solas turned to where he was looking. “Maker's breath.” Cullen whispered, and Varric whistled softly when Eirlana came down the stairs. Lost for words Solas could only stare at her, it was a sight he would remember forever. Where he and the others had chosen for heavy fabrics, golden and bold colours, she was a breath of fresh air. She wore a gown with a tight white bodice, a high neckline and a white chocker. An oval opening on her chest showed a little of her skin. The white sleeves were elongated over the back of her hand and attached to her middle finger. A long skirt started at her hips and was made of several layers of a very light fabric. They were cut diagonal at different lengths and dyed in various shades of blue and white. They moved beautifully with every step she took. Over her bodice, she wore a low cut tight jacket, in a rich darker blue tone. From its shoulders fell long open flared sleeves, that were bound together in intervals along her upper arms. The fabric was silvery embroidered with an old elven leaf-pattern. When she walked, her bare toes slipped from under her skirt. Her hair was partially pinned up in an elegant updo of several loose braids and twisted tresses. The rest hang loose in a long waterfall of curls and waves. Expect for a silver pin of the Inquisition, she wore only one piece of jewellery. A single silver earpiece, depicting an elfroot plant that curled along and around her ear. Tiny silver chains hung down at the tip of her ear, emphasising she was elven. A hint of make-up adorned her lips and eyes. Joining the others, Eirlana walked towards Solas. “You look beautiful.” she smiled at him and blushed lightly, surprised at her own comment. Solas chuckled. “That would be my line, my Lady.” He bowed before her and gave her a courtesy kiss on her hand. Then he leaned towards her and whispered. “Vhenan, you are a vision. You take my breath away.” making her blush a shade deeper. Ryan was the last to join them, with everyone gathered they got to the carriages and horses. An honour guard was waiting to accompany the Inquisitor to the main entrance of the Winter Palace. Solas had chosen to ride his hart for the short trip, giving him the opportunity to leave if he needed to. With everyone moving he held onto Eirlana's hand and waited. “Vhenan, I have a gift for you.” he handed her the jewellery box. Surprised she stared at it and him before she stammered. “Solas. I... Thank you.” Carefully she opened it. On a cushion lay a beautiful necklace composed of strings of small silver snowflakes, some of them embedded with tiny blue stones. At its centre was a silver pendant, depicting a wolf asleep in the snow. With its head resting on its tail it lay protectively curled around a bright blue crystal. “It is lovely.” Carefully she touched it with her fingertips, she was amazed at the level of detail of the engravings down to the wolfs fur. “Here let me.” Solas took the necklace and stepped behind her. Her heart was beating wildly when she lifted her hair, so he could secure it around her neck.

Touching the pendant, she smiled shyly at him. “Thank you, it is wonderful.” A warmth spread through him, he had designed the necklace especially for her, the wolf meaning so much more to him than the old elven sign of protection. It was his symbol, a part of his name, a part of who he was, but it was also a representation of how he felt about her and how she affected him. Hoping that one day he could tell her the truth about himself he lifted her on his hart and rode after the others. . The ball was drenched in all the flaunting and boasting Solas expected. They had spared no expense for the peace-talks. Grant crystal chandeliers hung from the ceilings, shining their glittering light on the polished marble floors, and the golden surfaces of the pillars, statues, furniture or even the simple door handles. Draperies of blue satin and brocade decorated the halls and walls, and a heavy scent of incense and perfumes hung in the air. Servants in elegant uniforms and simple royal masks walked around, their trays filled with countless small artworks of dishes, and crystal glasses filled with the best wines Orlais could offer, all eagerly consumed by the many guests. Everyone with a shimmer of a title had come to witness the outcome of tonight and to steal a glimpse at the fabled Inquisitor. Dressed to impress they tried to outshine each other, in huge gowns, puffed sleeves, ruffles, grand hats, masks heavily inlaid with jewels, tightly tied corsets and colourful fans. If you walked around, you wouldn't suspect that the country was at war, not to mention suffering from the aftermath of the Breach and the rifts. Nothing had changed Solas thought, even after thousands of years had passed, the people in power still fought and played their silly pitiful games, never satisfied, always wanting more. Hidden behind their masks, they were slaves to their prestige, wealth and titles, thinking that they were more important than any other being on earth. Attached from what was really important they fought like hens and roosters in a henhouse, always trying to better their status. With some amusement, Solas noticed that more than one pair of eyes behind the masks was directed at him and Eirlana, as they made their way to their designated area. Whispers followed them through the halls. “Even the Inquisitor has brought elves.” “Tsss, I would watch your jewellery, if I were you.” “Is this even allowed?” “Celene's orders my dear.” “Never seen one like that.” “Where can I get one of those?” They clearly didn't know what to make of them. He felt Eirlana tensing up next to him; clearly, a little overwhelmed by all the people and whispers around them. Leaning closer to her ear he spoke softly in elven so no one could understand them. Don't worry vhenan. Remember under those masks they are just people. If it helps imagine, them in Vivienne's dress.” “Solas.” she gasped, a little shocked by his boldness, but she smiled imagining just that. . Iron Bull watched the two elves with renewed interest, especially Solas. His whole demeanour had transformed, something that couldn't just be explained away by his change of clothes. He knew that there was very little that could rattle the quiet apostate, but he didn't expect him to be this calm and composed. He stood out. He was walking around with an ease and confidence, like he was used to these gathering. It was as if he were of noble birth himself, something that wasn't possible. Bull had to grin when Solas talked softly to Eirlana, his eyes and movements telling everyone who watched them that she was his and that they shared an intimacy no one could touch. A couple of noble ladies even blushed and started to whisper behind their fans, as if they had seen something private and forbidden. As amusing as it was Iron Bull couldn't help but feel something was off. He had spent some time to discover more about them after the tip-off form Dalish but found nothing. They both were very diligent in their work and helping the Inquisition, almost a little too diligent in his opinion. Nothing had jumped out apart from their unique views on magic, and the occasional disagreement with Ryan. Making a mental note to dig a little more into their pasts he directed his attention back to the nobles and servants, every single one of them liars, spies and schemers, it would be hard to find out who was lying about what. . The ball soon turned into the bloody and twisted affair they all had feared. Solas found it almost disturbing how Ryan was handling the nobles and the Game with an alarming ease. Whenever the ball permitted it he, Ryan, Cassandra and Blackwall slipped away to uncover the secrets and plots behind the scenes. It didn't come as a shock to Solas to see that the servants and guards had paid with their lives for this pity feud within the royal family. Like always the common people were paying the price, just like the People had paid his. As expected the Venatori had infiltrated the palace, the challenge was to find out who amongst the more influential people was colluding with them. The runs behind the scenes were always short and quick, so they would be back before the Inquisitor would be missed. After checking himself for dirt and blood, Solas walked around, before returning to his post in one of the side wings. With growing interest, he studied the people around him and was surprised at how he was soaking up the dense layer of intrigue, plays of power, danger and sex. It was a silent pleasure he hadn't indulged in for so long, the open secrets, the fainted interests and amazement, the little well placed accidental touches, fake giggles and subtle whispers. It reminded him of the feasts of Elvhenan, of what once was his home, though with far less magic, boasting and obsequious flattery. Everyone was acting, watching, faking, no one was bold enough to be themselves. Even he was playing a role, though he was showing more of his true nature then he originally had planned. An elven servant tried her best to look seductively at him, as she filled his glass again. Solas noticed he was enjoying the attention he was getting, the stolen glances of the nobles, the elves watching him with interest. It was just like everyone used to watch him back in Arlathan. He was the wild card, dangerous, trusted and feared by everyone. Even when his world had been rotten to the core, it also had its beauty, freedom and unlimited potential. His ears twitched when he heard another demeaning remark about the elves. It was repulsive how the nobles saw them as nothing more like objects, lesser beings, mere sub-humans to do their bidding. Officially there was no slavery in Orlais, but he knew that most elves toiled for meagre wages. There were exceptions of course, highly trained entertainers and bards that were kept by the nobles like prized pets or possessions. Strolling through the halls, Solas got sight of Briala. He already had a brief encounter with her, hunting down some Venatori. In her short chat with the Inquisitor, she gave him the impression she was a capable and very calculating woman. In just the few months she possessed the key to part of the eluvian network, she had used it very efficiently to rally the elves of Orlais. Seeing the hardened woman giving polite smiles if need be, he was reminded of Felassans companionship towards her. Solas knew he had to approach Briala someday, to get the key he needed to rewrite and take control of the eluvians. Observing her a while, he wondered how Felassan could have seen her in Briala. Even when he now saw she was resourceful and brave to stand up for her people. It was a far cry from what she had done and the way she had changed him. His eyes wandered to Eirlana, who was talking with Josephine to some nobles, wondering who was changing him more. His stomach fluttered seeing Eirlana standing amongst them, she was one of the most kind-hearted, strongest, loving, beautiful and intelligent people he had ever known. He shook his head, she had been right, he hadn't known what love was, that is until now. He noticed a group of nobles whispering and pointing towards Eirlana. One of them, an older man, Solas recognised, the Lord of Val Colline, nicknamed the Pig of Colline, a man with a horrible reputation, with a distinct taste for elves according to the reports. To some extent, Solas didn't mind the growing attention Eirlana was receiving, but seeing the openly lusty stares, especially from such a man, as if she was some trophy to conquer and posses, had him on edge. . It was over, more blood had been spilt, another scheme completed and a new puppet sat on the throne. Solas took a sip of his glass, he could have guessed that Ryan would choose to support Gaspard. It was another military victory for the Inquisition, who now would have the full support of Orlais to fight Corypheus. It would be interesting to see what their powerful allies would do once the Inquisitions usefulness would disappear. For now, there was a macabre sort of cheerfulness in the air, after all the Queen had just been assassinated by the sister of the new designated ruler. Ryan's choices tonight would have repercussions for years to come. Leaning against a pillar, Solas continued to observe the nobles and their games. The sweetness of the wine lingered on his tongue, indulging himself he took another glass, knowing he already drank more then he should. Finally free from Josephine, Eirlana searched for Solas. Josephine hadn't lied when she told her that several families in Orlais had taken an interest in her. Her jaw ached from the forced polite smiles, and her head was swimming from all the small talk she had endured. To her relief most nobles she had been introduced to, were polite and friendly, they were family members of people she had saved, she even recognised some of them from the battlefields. Sadly most of the other nobles acted like she expected and their stares and whispers made her very uncomfortable. Now she was just tired and hoping she could leave soon. Solas noticed Eirlana, with a smile he gazed at her. She looked so fair this evening, it made his heart beat faster. He didn't miss the dark look she gave Ryan when she passed him; clearly, she was not pleased he had sent her out of the ballroom just before the assassination happened. The Inquisitor had shown he had mastered the Game this night, calculating and manipulating everything to his best advantage. “There you are.” Eirlana was relieved she finally found Solas. “Do you want to get some air?” She looked hopeful at him. He nodded and escorted her to one of the more quieter gardens. The laughter and music grew more distant as they made their way along the winding paths leading through the artful trimmed bushes. The night was pleasantly cool, and the air was filled with the honey-sweet scent of blooming flowers. Small lanterns had been lighted, and benches placed in alcoves occupied by a few couples trying to steal a private moment. “It feels good to be out here.” Eirlana stretched her back, glad the end of the ball was in sight. “I had the feeling I was watched the whole time and that someone was always waiting for me to make a mistake. I can't imagine anyone is enjoying themselves tonight.” “I noticed Vivienne had an extra thick layer of importance and snugness around her.” Eirlana giggled, Solas' opinion about Vivienne had taken a more cynical form ever since she lectured them both about proper court magic. “What about you? You looked more at ease here than I would have thought.” “The costumes may have changed, but the powerful have always acted the same as you well know. Empires come and go with the flow of time, with only their memories remaining in the Fade. Tonight was no exception.” “Seen is not the same as walking amongst them.” “True.” Solas said after a while, he didn't know what else to say. Every excuse he could think of sounded to fake or was one he didn't want to tell her. They came to a small square surrounded by bushes of roses in different shades and lighted by several lanterns. Turning towards him, Eirlana lightly took hold of his hands and intertwined their fingers. “I wish it were just the two of us tonight.” she spoke softly. Standing close together they both relished this short moment of peace. Solas leaned forward to kiss her, but she stepped away from him. Still holding his right hand, she turned her body and with a twinkle in her eye, she smiled at him knowingly. Solas recognised the way she moved her body, he was very familiar with that stance. “How do you?” “You are not the only one who has wandered the Fade and seen things.” Eirlana locked her eyes with his. She looked so beautiful, it took Solas breath away. Her eyes drew him in, as if she was leading him to a new world, one she created and only she knew the secret to. A peaceful world full of wonders, where to old and new were in harmony. He gladly stepped into it, but in his heart, he knew it was a dream that would never come to pass. He matched her stance, and they began to dance to the faint distant music. It was an ancient elven dance, one the world hadn't seen for thousands of years. Having only practised the dance a few times in the Fade, Eirlana missed a few steps, but soon she followed Solas' lead, and they glided over their private little square. Gradually the music changed its rhythm and slowed down, staying in tune they began to dance slower, more intimate. With grace, Solas moved behind her, stepping closer to her. Pressing his chest against her back, he leaned into her, curling his arms around her waist. Eirlana could feel his heat through their clothes, swaying to the music she leaned back, letting her head rest against his. Resting her arms on his she closed her eyes, she lost herself in the moment, a pleasant shiver spread through her feeling his warm breath brushing her ear. . “Eh, ehm” Iron Bull coughed. “Sorry guys, but the boss is asking for you.” Solas sighed as reality came crashing back, he wanted nothing more than to disappear at that moment. To take Eirlana far away so he could have her all to himself, without any annoying disturbances. He didn't miss Iron Bull's subtle gesture that something was amiss. Holding onto Eirlana more firmly he kissed her temple. “Stay here, I will be right back vhenan.” “But he said...” “I will see what he wants, wait for me here.” He followed Iron Bull back inside. “Sorry I had to barge in, but you know...” Solas motioned that it was all right, it wasn't as if it was the first time someone walked into them. He had a bad feeling what he would find after Iron Bull's gestures, his instincts warning him to be cautious. It was worse than he expected, the Inquisitor was drunk from the wine and intoxicated by his successes of the night. As the victor, he was surrounded by several nobles showering him with praise and flattery, hoping to get on his good side. Like a plague, they clung to him, sneaky and selfishly attempting to gain the most out of the spoils after the bloodshed. What was most alarming to Solas was to see the Pig of Colline among them, as well as other nobles with a more questionable reputation. “Solass, there you are.” Ryan's voice slurred a little from the wine. “I was jusst trying to explain to these fine people how you do your... your thingss.” “It is most fascinating to hear the grand deeds of the Inquisition by Andraste's Champion himself.” the Lord of Val Colline stepped in, looking with interest at Solas, his eyes searching the room behind him. “May I ask, where is your lovely companion of this evening?” Seeing the disgusting leering look in the man's eyes made Solas sick. Fighting down the urge to set him on fire and strike him down, Solas knew right then that he needed to remove this monster. From his spies he knew Briala was planning to make her move against the Pig, he needed to contact his agents to assist her. Maybe this was the opportunity to help her and gain her trust, all was it a little faster than planned. “My apologies but she already left, it has been a long and trying night.” Solas answered politely. “Can I be of any further assistance Inquisitor?”

Seeing Ryan was already talking with someone else he made a small courtesy bow and left, after all, he was playing the role of a manservant. On his way back he spotted Josephine, quickly he stepped towards her. “The Inquisitor is trying hard to make the wrong kind of friends.” he said to her discretely. To his relief her eyes went big and searched immediately for Ryan, seeing him she thanked Solas and went to him. Trusting she would sort things out Solas resumed his way, it was high time to leave this ball. He needed to get Eirlana away from here fast. Angry at Ryan's ignorance and stupidity he walked back into the gardens. His ears twitched when he picked up Eirlana's giggle from afar, unwittingly he quickened his pace through the winding hedges. He stopped in his tracks when he saw her and Cullen sitting on a bench under a magnificent climbing rose. Cullen was brushing his neck, smiling fondly at Eirlana, who giggled about something he said. Already agitated and the wine running through his veins Solas briskly walked towards them. “Solas.” Eirlana greeted him cheerfully. He forced himself to calm down. “Vhenan, if you wish, we have permission to leave.” Noticing something was off, she nodded and turned towards Cullen. “Good night Cullen.” Cullen opened his mouth, but froze a moment, before he mumbled. “Good night.”

For a while Cullen stared after them, he already had received some not so friendly looks from Solas, but this was the most hostile one yet. His message was clear, back off she is mine. Not that Cullen didn't know that, but smothering his own feelings was sometimes tricky, especially in moments like these. He had come to the gardens to escape the annoying nobles that had pestered him all night long. It was a pleasant surprise when he came upon Eirlana, she looked so beautiful, and before he knew it, he approached her. They ended up talking on the bench, both complaining and laughing about the ridiculousness of the nobles. It made him happy that so much had changed between them, ever since the day she and Solas had stumbled into Haven. She made him smile, and he couldn't help that he sometimes wished for a future together with her. It was an impossible dream of a future free of the order, free of the pain, a future in which he was living happily with her at his side in a simple house in Fereldan. Cullen shook his head, knowing that it would never happen, it would be a miracle if he managed only one of those things. He didn't blame Solas' reaction, in part he could understand him, especially tonight. Eirlana kept silent until she and Solas rode away from the palace. She saw he was struggling, something had happened that put him on edge. “Solas what is wrong?” He kept riding without answering, not trusting his emotions. The desire to take her away and protect her from all that was wrong in this world had never been stronger. He wanted to lock her away in one of his created realms, hidden away, guarded and cared for by people he could trust. It was a selfish desire, one that would put her back in a cage. Even when it would be a golden one, it would still be a cage. “Solas!” she took hold of his face forcing him to look at her. He swallowed hard, fighting his own impulses. “I am sorry vhenan. I couldn't stand those nobles and the Inquisitor any longer. I needed to get you away from there.” . Entering her room, Eirlana let out a sigh. She felt like she could breathe again. Solas followed her, and with a flick of his wrist, he lit the candles in her room. To her relief, he had calmed down a little, but something had rattled him, and a strange tension was lingering between them. Not knowing how she should act she started to pull some of the pins out of her hair. Looking in the mirror she caught him staring at her with an intense burning gaze that made her shiver, and her heart beat faster. Watching him, she opened her jacket and let it slip off, revealing her laced up back. Suddenly Solas averted his eyes and walked away, opening the door separating their rooms. Confused she spun around. “Solas.” The word was out of her mouth before she could make up her mind what to do. She knew only one thing, she didn't want him to leave. He looked at her questioningly, and she turned and pulled her hair over her shoulder to the front. “Can you help me open this?” “Of course vhenan.” his voice sounded strained. Her breath hitched when he stepped closer and touched her. He had taken off his gloves, and his warm hand brushed along her neck before his nimble fingers started to unlace her. The tension she felt intensified with every single touch on her skin. Solas tried to focus on the task she requested with difficulty. His desire for her was set aflame by the wine and the events of the evening, seeing her back slowly unveiling added only more fuel to the fire burning within him. This was getting dangerous, he needed to leave before he did something inexcusable. For a moment his hand hovered over her naked skin before he pulled it back. Clenching his fist he abruptly turned around, “Good night, sleep well.” and with a few paces, he was through the door. Eirlana stared at the closed door, she could guess why he had left, his burning stare told her enough. Now alone, a sadness spread through her. Reaching over her shoulder, she touched her back still heated from his touch. What should she do? Alone in his room Solas ripped off his vest and opened his shirt, a few buttons flew off in the process. He flung open the balcony doors to let the night air in, he needed to cool off. His eyes caught sight of a flagon of wine, and he poured himself a glass. After he took a big gulp, he filled it back up again. His blood was boiling, fuelled by the alcohol and the jealousy he felt thinking back at all the men that had paid Eirlana to much attention during the night. A part of him was pushing him to give in, to stake his claim, to take her and let the world know she was his. He felt disgusted with himself to have these thoughts, they were part of the selfish monster he thought he had left behind. It made him sick that his dark, selfish side was so easily resurfacing by a few greedy stares of a couple of shemlen. His emotions in turmoil he noticed the candles going out in her room. Letting out a deep sigh he closed his eyes, this would have been so much easier if he had listened to himself and buried his feelings. He laughed at himself, when had he ever chosen the easy road. No, even when he had many regrets in his life, he would never regret meeting her, she was his light in a dark time, a blessing he didn't deserve. In a big swig, he emptied the glass cursing his own desires, cursing his past and his task. Letting out another sigh, he reached out for the flagon once more, knowing he would regret drinking so much in the morning. . “Solas?” Solas froze, he hadn't heard Eirlana come in, slowly he turned around and swallowed. Clad in only a sleeveless nightgown and a shawl she stood behind him, her hair loosely pinned up. The moonlight pouring through the windows engulfed her in a surreal light, and for a moment Solas thought he was dreaming, that she was an illusion. Why was she here? He didn't move, frightened to chase her away, scared that she would disappear at any moment. She stepped closer and reached out to him. He took in a sharp breath when her fingers touched his bare chest feather-lightly. Slowly she brushed her lips against his, kissing him tenderly. His resolve was wearing very thin, he had to stop this, he couldn't... “Vhenan?” he broke away from her. “I want to spend the night with you.”

Solas couldn't believe what she just said, she couldn't possibly want to... Eirlana's eyes drew him in, she looked so beautiful, slowly she let her shawl slip from her shoulders. Stunned he watched her, his body already reacting to her presence. Suddenly the dream was shattered when her hand went to his groin, taking it with a delightful pressure, his manhood responding immediately. With a strangled grown he quickly pushed her back. “Sorry! Did I hurt you?” startled by his reaction, she panicked, she had done something wrong. Taking a deep breath to calm himself Solas tried to recover, never would he have expected that from her, it was the total opposite of her otherwise shy and hesitant demeanour. Seeing her reaction only affirmed what he already knew. Everyone had always taken from her, demanded from her, used her. No one had ever loved her, cared for her, showed her what it meant to be together. “No, vhenan.” Solas said a little out of breath. He closed the balcony doors, giving himself a few moments to realise that this was reality. He stepped towards her and saw she was rattled, her mind searching where she had gone wrong. He had scared her and at that moment all of his objections and reason were not important. Softly he caressed her cheek, he wanted nothing more than to banish all of her bad memories. Slowly he started to kiss her and mumbled: “Just let us go a little slower.” His hands stroked her bare arms. Tentative Eirlana raised her hands to touch his chest. Solas could tell she was now questioning every move she made. He didn't want this, he wanted her to enjoy every moment, to receive her touch because she wanted to, not because she felt obliged to. Taking her hand, he brought it to his lips placing sweet kisses on it. . Slower, it was easier said than done Eirlana thought. She didn't know what to do, she felt hesitant to touch him. Not that she was a stranger to sex, but for her, it had always been connected with shame, disgust and pain. She knew it shouldn't be like that. She wanted to be with Solas, to feel his love and touch, and to give him pleasure in return, but now there was a growing knot in the pit of her stomach, fearing she would do something wrong again or spoil the mood. With her insecurities returning, she questioned all she knew. She was afraid to touch him, afraid she wouldn't touch him enough, afraid to disappoint him. Inhaling sharply, her thoughts were disrupted when Solas started to suck and lick at the delicate skin of her inner wrist. A pleasant shiver ran along her spine when he continued to kiss up her arm, leaving a wet trail that cooled in the night air. Like in their dance, he stepped behind her and leaned into her. Concentrating on him she began to relax again. His lips feathered over her collarbone, and her breath hitched when he reached her sensitive spot. His breath brushed hot against her skin, kissing and nipping her, it made her tingle in delight. Sighing she moved her head to the side, giving in to his touch, his warmth. This is what she wanted, this is why she had chosen to come here. There was nothing to be afraid off, there was nothing she could do wrong. Her confidence returning, Eirlana slipped away from him. Watching him she moved slowly backwards to the bed, pulling her hairpins loose. Seeing him staring at her with admiration and desire empowered her. Smiling at him, she tugged at the straps of her nightgown, leisurely loosening them. Solas had to swallow when her nightgown fluttered down, after briefly resting on her hips it pooled at her feet. Standing naked before him, she looked like a vision, with her delicate developing curves, small breasts, her skin almost translucent in the moonlight and her hair a shimmering fall of waves. For a moment he could only stare at her taking in every detail of her, she was so lovely and yet so vulnerable. Mesmerised Solas stepped towards her, his vest hitting the ground with a thud. “You are so beautiful.” he whispered before capturing her lips, his fingers gliding over her arms. He shuddered in delight when he felt her hands move with confidence over his chest, slipping his shirt off his shoulders. Stopping for a moment, he pressed his forehead against hers. He needed to know. “Are you sure?” Eirlana brushed her nose against his, before kissing him tenderly. “Yes and no.” she smiled. It was the truth, there was a strange mixture of want, desire, fear and anticipation inside of her. “And you?” “Yes and no.” Solas confessed, he wanted nothing more than to love her, to touch and feel her, but he was also still keeping the truth from her. Who he was, what he had done and must do in the future. They both laughed nervously, as if they were lovestruck teenagers, getting intimate for the first time. . Sitting down on the bed, Solas slowly pulled Eirlana back, so they were both lying down. He was careful not to lean too much over her, so she had room to retreat if she needed to. They kissed again, and his hands began to wander over her, exploring her sides and stomach, caressing her softly. Leaving her lips, he kissed down her neck and collarbone, before travelling down on her chest. He could hear she was holding her breath when he almost reached her breasts. He skimmed the edge of them, brushing his nose along the soft rising mounts, before moving lower to her ribs. She tensed when he started to lightly kiss her there, dragging his inner part of his upper lip along the exposed skin, leaving a trail of goosebumps that spread over her body. His hands moved all along her figure, cherishing every part of her skin. He kept her on the edge of tickling, caressing her with his lips and tongue until her breath sped up and her stomach began to pulse under his every touch. Only then he moved back up towards her breasts. Taking his time he gently stroked his thumbs along them and placed soft kisses on the tender flesh. Her breath hitched when he finally reached her nipple and took it into his mouth, gently sucking it. He smiled hearing her beautiful moan when his tongue began to lick and roll around. Cupping her breasts more firmly he began to knead them, alternating between them with his fingers, mouth and tongue, teasing her nipples until they turned into stiff peaks. “Solas.” Eirlana panted, she was not sure what she should do. This was so different from what she knew. His hands were on a journey to explore and cherish every part of her, her body was reacting in ways she had never felt before. Afraid of these new sensations and afraid she wasn't doing enough, she desperately took hold of his arms. Solas halted and kissed her on her lips again, looking deep into her eyes. “Shh, don't worry. Just do what feels good for you.” he gave her another heart-throbbing kiss. “I won't stop until I have tasted every part of you.” Her stomach fluttered hearing his low heated voice and seeing his burning but reassuring gaze. Stroking and kissing her, Solas kept his attention on her upper body, giving Eirlana time to relax again. He wanted to show her there was nothing to fear and give her pleasures she had never experienced before. He wished for her to come undone by his touch, to burn her past away and replace it with all the love, tenderness and sweetness he could bestow upon her. . Eirlana felt a strange tension spread through her, but it wasn't an unpleasant one, rather a wonderful anticipation for what was to come. It was as if a burden was disappearing from her shoulders, taking away her doubt, her fear and her shame, all that was left was Solas and his love. Slowly her hands began to move again. She wanted to feel more of him, to explore his body in turn, she loved him with all her heart and wanted him to feel the same pleasure as he gave her. Giving in to her instincts she began to move, her touches and kisses becoming more confident. Her fingers traced and caressed his muscular body and moving her legs she glided them along his, making Solas hum. His mouth began his journey again, after giving her breast some more attention he continued downwards. Her stomach clenched, and she let out a breathing laugh when his lips fluttered lower than before, teasing her taunt sensitive muscles. Gradually Solas let his body slip off the bed until he was on his knees. A little out of breath Eirlana sat up leaning on her elbows, wondering why he moved to the floor. Her breath hitched when he took her feet and pressed a kiss on them and started to work his way up her legs, kissing, caressing, kneading, tasting, worshipping every inch of her skin. Solas was careful when he slowly parted her legs, knowing that it could make her uncomfortable. He watched her closely when he began to stroke her inner thighs. Eirlana held her breath, her first reaction was to close her legs, but by now her mind and body were in a heated haze of anticipation and pleasure. As much as she feared to be touched there, she also wanted it. Seeing how tense she was Solas got up. After kissing her, he pulled several thick cushions towards them, arranging them so she could lie more upright and see what he was about to do. “You are wonderful.” he whispered in her ear. With care, he parted her legs again, kneeling down between them. Not stopping caressing her, he stared at her most intimate parts, even here her hair was white. The sparse soft curls started on her mound of Venus and covered her nether lips leading to her pink folds. Kissing her on her stomach, he slowly made his way to her mound. He could hear her holding her breath again when he started to kiss, lick and suck gently at this soft part of her body, gradually he moved lower until he almost had reached her outer lips. “Solas don't.” Eirlana reached for his face and pushed it away, her voice a heady mix of uncertainty and desire. He looked at her, his eyes filled with love, lust and promise. Pressing her hand against his cheek, he looked her deep in the eyes. “I said I wanted to taste every part of you.” Not breaking eye-contact he turned his head slightly and scraped his teeth over her fingers, nipping softly at her fingertips. Eirlana shuddered and slowly let go of his head and sunk back into the cushions. Solas started to kiss her mound again, slowly moving lower. He could smell her heavy scent of sex, and he couldn't wait to let her drown in ecstasy. Carefully he licked and kissed her outer folds before he parted them. Seeing the gleam of her arousal heightened his own. Eagerly he let his tongue roll over her inner folds and moaned loudly being finally able to taste her. Grabbing the sheets to prevent herself from pushing him back again, Eirlana trembled when she saw him staring in fascination at her most intimate parts. She inhaled sharply when his tongue suddenly moved all over her, the sensation and the vibrations of his voice overwhelming her senses. Her heartbeat sped even more as he kept going, flooding her with sweet pleasure. She wanted to touch something of him, but his body was out of her reach, desperately her hand went for his head again but this time not to push him away. Feeling her stroke his head Solas started to kiss and lick her more intensely, with intervals he looked up at her. She looked gorgeous with her lips slightly parted, her cheeks flushed and her eyes half hooded. Her whole expression telling him she enjoyed every move he made. With his thumbs massaging her mound of Venus he slowly kissed and licked her deeper, time and time again he moved up and teased her on and around her pearl, sucking it gently. Gradually Eirlana's soft moans became louder and more intense, her nails scraping lightly over his scalp. He pulled at her nether lips with his mouth, cherishing and loving every part of her, eating her out more and more. He had to moan when she finally let go completely and parted her legs even more for him, he could taste her heightened arousal. Slowly he let one finger enter her, she was so warm and moist. He felt her stiffen at the intrusion, but he kept licking and kissing her until she relaxed again. With care he began to move his finger, adding one more after a while, massaging her soft passage from within. “ Solas.” Eirlana panted, her body felt like it was on fire from the pleasure he brought her. Whatever he was doing she didn't want him to stop. She groaned and arched her back when he suddenly reached a particular spot within her. He growled, knowing he was the one who did this to her, wanting to give her more he kept moving his fingers, his tongue licking and rolling all over and around her throbbing pearl. He felt her inner walls twitch, not stopping he kept going, knowing she wasn't far from her climax. He curled his fingers inside of her, teasing her spot again. Suddenly she pressed his face against her core, closing her legs around him in her peak. It was exhilarating to feel her clamping onto him, her inner walls pulsing around his fingers. With skilled hands he kept touching and caressing her, drawing out her peak. . Getting back at his feet Solas smiled at Eirlana, her pupils blown wide apart by her arousal, her whole body glowing with pleasure. Letting her catch her breath, he stripped off his last clothes. He sighed, when his throbbing member hit the crisp air, finally free from its confinement. Ignoring the urge to touch himself, he sat down next to her. Recovering from her orgasm Eirlana moved upright and leaned against him. Wanting to have her all the control and freedom she needed, he pulled her on his lap, making sure his member was securely trapped between their stomachs. Lovingly Eirlana straddled him, embracing him she pressed herself against his warm body. Coming down from her high she lazily kissed him tasting herself on him. Solas groaned when her tongue slipped over his lips, opening his mouth they entwined their tongues together. It was wonderful to feel her heated body against his, he brushed aside her hair and raked his nails teasingly over her spine. She arched her back beautifully to his touch, pushing her breast forward with her nipples still hard and sensitive from his earlier ministrations. Eagerly he took them into his mouth, rolling his tongue over them. Her hands grabbed him by his shoulders and pushed him back. Moaning Solas let go, thrilled she was taking control. With lust filled eyes Eirlana kissed him desperately. This was so different, this felt so right. In the past, she had learned to quickly finish the job so she would be left alone again. Never had she enjoyed to give pleasure to someone else. Now she was fascinated how Solas responded to her every touch, how his breath hitched and his muscles flexed under her exploring fingers. She let her hands glide over his body, kneading him, scraping her nails over his skin and could feel his trapped member throbbing against her stomach. Grabbing his head, she pulled it to the side giving her access to his neck. Her lips roamed along it, licking, and scraping her teeth against his muscle. When she bit down on him, she could feel him shiver, thrilled she bit him harder, sucking and rolling her tongue over his flesh. Feeling him grab her more tightly at her hips, she experimentally rolled her hips, pressing her heated centre against the base of his member. The moans that escaped Solas made her smile, and she continued her journey, revelling in the pleasure she brought him, wondering how he would react to what touch. Solas had to force himself to keep his hands still, to give her time to explore him at her own pace. It was exhilarating to feel her move freely against him seeking out her and his pleasure. When she tried to grip his head, he wished he had still his hair, so he could feel her pull it. With closed eyes and parted lips, he gave in to her, moving as she wanted, his body shivering when he felt her kissing and licking his neck. A thrill went through him when he felt her biting him, knowing she was leaving a mark for the world to see. When she rolled her lips, he couldn't help but to grab her and push her more against him. He shuddered when she licked him up his neck until her hot breath brushed against his ear, letting him moan again when she traced it with her tongue and bit down lightly at his sensitive ear-tip. His heart almost pounded out of his chest when she whispered. “I want you.” her voice full of want and desire. “Ma lath.” Hearing Solas slightly out of breath and his deep voice loaded with promise and longing made her shiver. Her pounding heart skipped a beat when his words sunk in. Lost for words she kissed him, and hugged him tightly, knowing that he meant every letter from the bottom of his heart. . A little hesitant Eirlana raised her hips, releasing his member that was trapped between them. Solas' hands were resting on her hips, but he was not guiding or pushing her. Looking into his eyes, she guided him to her core and slowly slid down on him. In union their lips parted, breathing in each other's moans, until he was fully seated inside of her. Holding still she leaned against him, her eyes closed. She could feel her walls clenching around him, stretching her, filling her. Solas didn't move. He grasped her waist more tightly, feeling her finally around him, her heat engulfing him. It was almost too much. The feeling was overwhelming for both of them, to be finally connected. “Ar lath ma” her breath brushed along his upper lip. He grasped her waist more tightly, groaning “Ma lath” once again.

They kissed each other long and passionately until they couldn't resist the urge to move any longer. With her arms resting around her shoulder Eirlana rolled her hips, feeling him shift inside her. With her movement Solas slid his hands to her behind, grabbing her cheeks to encourage her. They began at a torturous slow rhythm, that had them both on edge, their bodies wanting more and don't wanting to stop at the same time. She moved her beautifully against him, and teasingly nipped his under lip only to pull away when he tried to kiss her. They both laughed and revelled in their intimacy. Slowly they bodies heated up, making their movements growing bolder and more profound. Eirlana could see Solas was keeping himself back, wanting him to enjoy it as much as she did she stroked his fingers along his ear, knowing what it would do to him. With a muffled groan he trusted up into her, sheeting himself deeper within her. She gasped and smiled against his lips, breathing in his pleasure. They sped up, moving more strongly, smiling at each other, drinking in their shared love and passion. He felt her fingers curling around his head, pulling and pushing him against her neck. His lips brushed against her fast beating pulse, not able to resist the temptation he hungrily bit her there. Hearing her moan his name he feverishly sucked and worried her skin, leaving his mark on her. She began to lose her rhythm and desperately held on to him. Grabbing her hips firmly he took over, guiding her to her release. He could feel her core throbbing around him, telling him she was close. “Solas, please.” she moaned. “Come for me vhenan.” letting go of her, he moved one hand between their bodies and rubbed his finger against her pearl. She shattered around him, her body shivering and throbbing from her second orgasm. Solas buried his fingers into her hips and bit his tongue, to not follow her. He wanted to pleasure her even more and wished this night would never end. He groaned loudly when he felt her pulsing around him, his name on her lips like the sweetest spell. Her fingers dug into his scalp, pressing her body against his as if she wanted for them to melt together. Out of breath and overwhelmed she went limp in his arms. He kissed her shoulder and held her until she caught her breath, his member throbbing within her, urging him to move. Gently Solas lifted Eirlana, hissing when he slipped out of her, slick and wet from her release. He helped her onto the bed, making sure she lay comfortably against the cushions. Moving between her legs he rubbed himself against her opening, scooping up more of her nectar before he entered her again. “Vhenan.” Breathing heavily he waited, making sure she would be alright with him on top of her. He half closed his eyes when he felt her muscles still flutter from her orgasm. When her arms came around him, welcoming him, he groaned. He wanted to move slowly, but her heat and his need made it impossible. Lifting her leg, he changed his angle, and he began to trust, his eyes not leaving hers for a second. His heart soared when her hands grabbed his butt and wrapped her body around his, meeting his thrusts. She was his, and he was hers. His movements were getting deeper and harder. He wanted to bury himself her, wanted to drink every moan and pant from her parted lips. His hunger and pent-up need was taking over as he sped up. He would never forget this moment, he would never get enough of her. Desperately he moved, kissing her feverishly. Eirlana's mind was going blank, her whole world had shrunken to just them. Her body was melting from the heat of their slick skins moving together. Sweat dripped from him onto her body, tickling her skin as it rolled down. His body was moving fluently under her fingers, his muscles were moving in harmony with his trusts. Overtaken by the sensation she dug her nails into him.

Uttering a wild-sounding growl Solas tried to press himself even deeper inside of her, with even more fever he moved even faster, he was so close, so close. Wanting desperately for them to come together he moved his hand and pressed his fingers against her pearl again. Her reaction was almost immediately, her walls clenching around on him, begging for him to let go. With a deep throaty moan, he came, releasing himself deeply inside of her.

With the build-up suddenly gone Solas' body collapsed, sweaty and heated he lay on her, holding her tightly. Catching his breath, he managed to roll off her with some effort, his body shaking from the high he experienced. They both lay still beside each other panting, unable to say a word. Lazily Solas rolled to his side and put his arm on her waist, her skin hot and sticky with perspiration. He started to place a long slow kiss on the first patch of skin he could reach. Eirlana rolled herself against him, unable to believe what she had just experienced. Smiling and out of breath, she snuggled up against him. With their naked bodies entangled, Solas managed to drag one of the sheets across them, after a few long slow kisses they drifted away, both content and sleepy they dozed off, Solas holding her possessively in his arms. . Already half asleep, Solas' ears twitch. Slowly he opened his eyes, seeing Eirlana curled up next to him he snuggled himself against her, closing his eyes again. “Shuffle.” There was that noise again, it sounded like it was coming from just outside his room. Solas was immediately wide awake, carefully he sat upright, listening intensely. There were people on the move outside on the balcony. Silently he moved out of the bed, wanting to reach his staff. Eirlana stirred, waking up by his movements. “Sol...” quickly he covered her mouth. “Shhh.” and motioned towards the door leading to her room. Alarmed by hearing the clear sound of people moving and muffled voices, she also slipped out of bed. Suddenly they saw the door slowly being opened. With a few quick strides Solas had reached his staff, whoever it was next door, their intentions couldn't be good. He felt Eirlana's magic around him as she erected a barrier. The door swung open and armed masked men stepped through it. “There! Capture the elf! Kill the other one.” Solas could see the leader of the men pointing at him and with their blades drawn the men immediately began to attack him. With staff in hand, he shot out his fade fist, sending the first men flying back. Ice shards and lightning flew through the air, killing the next who came through the door. Solas was alarmed, they were here with a purpose. More men poured into the room, stepping over their fallen comrades, Solas tried his best to hold them back when Iron Bull came storming through the door swinging his battle-axe. Other people were moving in the hall, hastening to come to their aid, the noise of the fight had woken quite a few people. With the odds now against them, the leader and a few of his men escaped over the balcony into the night. In just a few moments everything was over. “What happened here?” Cassandra asked, clad in simple linens. “Someone check on the Inquisitor!” “We had a nightly visit.” Solas replied, still naked he picked up his shirt and helped Eirlana cover herself. She was visibly shaken and looked questioning at him, knowing that this was not a random attack. He was also troubled by the leaders call. “Vints, when do these bastards finally learn.” Iron Bull grumbled, then he turned around and started to laugh. “Look that's what a true warrior is like, always ready to fight, even in his birthday-suit. I should have done that.” “Please don't.” Dorian groaned. Putting on a legging, Solas went over the events. This had been the second attack where they targetted him and Eirlana, and their instructions had been clear, capture one, discard the other. His eyes shot for a second to Eirlana, wondering again if it was him or her they wanted. Who had value to them? There was no doubt the Venatori had their spies within the Inquisition, the same as he had, the Qunari, the Orlesian court, Ferelden and no doubt others. It was a miracle that there was not more bloodshed in the halls of Skyhold. Could it be that Corypheus had discovered who he was? Not that wasn't possible, it was far more logical that they knew what the Inquisition knew, and that was that she is a healer and he an expert in elven lore and the Fade. He would be the more logical target. Why had they come into her room? He had entered hers, before moving to his. Had they assumed he was in there? Had they entered the wrong room? He looked again at Eirlana, no it had to be him they were looking for, she had no connection to anything except her role in the Inquisition as a mage and a healer. She would be of no interest to them. They must have discovered his knowledge of the orb, maybe they needed him in the hopes of unlocking it further. Could he use this to lure them out? Still looking at Eirlana he dismissed it immediately, it was too dangerous, they had called for the death of her. A chill went through him, what would have happened had they succeeded in overpowering him. No, he wouldn't risk her well-being, he had to find another way to get to his orb. “They properly went in here to get revenge for tonight. Thank the Maker they failed.” Cassandra sighed before barking more orders to the guards to double their patrols and be on the lookout for those who had fled. . Soon Solas and Eirlana found themselves in Dorian room, who had 'other' arrangements. “Solas?”

He looked at her while he pulled back the sheets so they could finally get some sleep. “Those men they were looking for someone.” She had kept quiet, not knowing why Solas hadn't said something. “I know vhenan.” “Why didn't you tell them?” After some consideration, he answered. “Because I don't want them to put any guards on us. I don't know why or who of us they were targetting. As far as I know, the only person of interest to them is Ryan. If the others knew they were looking for one of us, they would look even more over our shoulders. They would ask questions about what we are doing and why. Being in the Inquisition is hard enough at it is, and I want to continue my work to fight against Corypheus in peace. I don't see the need to worry them even more.” He took her hand and hated himself for manipulating her. “I know it is frightening to be suddenly attacked, but we are safe here. Besides we are both more than capable of defending ourselves and we are protected by the others. Of course, you can share what you have heard with Cassandra, Ryan or the others. I won't ask you to keep silent on my behalf.” She was silent for a moment and then nodded. He embraced her, regretting there was yet another secret she was keeping for him. “I am sorry.” he murmured. It was already getting light, exhausted Eirlana slipped into bed. After casting a ward to make sure they wouldn't be surprised again and shedding his leggings, Solas followed her. Lying down he possessively took her in his arms, she turned her head towards him, and they shared a long lazy kiss. Slipping his hand under the shirt, she was wearing he softly caressed her stomach. ““Ar lath ma”” he whispered and held her tightly, his heart soared when he heard her whisper. “Ma lath” .

With difficulty, Solas woke up. He had far to little sleep, and his head reminded him of his excessive wine consumption of last night. He frowned when he tried to open his eyes, and the sun was greeting him with her bright light. Not wanting to wake up he buried himself back into the cushions. His legs brushed against Eirlana's, and he hummed as the memories of last night came back to him. Snuggling against her he pulled her more into his arms. Awoken by his movements she stretched herself lazily, she smiled at him, mumbling. “Morning.” and kissed him. Sadly their cuddly morning didn't last long. Too soon they had to get up and pack their belonging. It was strange that all their weeks of preparation was packed up in a few hours to return to Skyhold. “Vhenan.” Eirlana turned towards Solas, she had just closed up her clothing chest. She was surprised to see him with another jewellery box in his hand, although this was a smaller one. In it lay another version of the necklace he had given her. It was a simpler version, attached to a couple of leather cords was a silver pendant. It depicted the same sleeping wolf, but the crystal at its centre was smaller and rougher. “I knew you couldn't wear the other one on a daily basis, so I ordered a second one, one you can always wear.” “Oh Solas, it is wonderful.” she hugged him. “Thank you.” . “Solas, did you pack everything?” Iron Bull grinned at him. “Didn't know elves were carrying that much.” They stood with the carriages and horses, waiting for Ryan. Eirlana started to blush at his remark, and Solas decided to just ignore this one. Dorian groaned and slapped Iron Bull on his back. “Enough you savage.” “Hmm savage? Want me to conquer you again?” he closed in on Dorian, trapping him between his chest and one of the carriages. “Erh erhm.” Cassandra rasped her throat. “If you are finished we have to get moving.” “Yes, Mam.” Iron Bull stepped back from a furiously blushing Dorian. Solas shook his head but had to grin at the exchange.

Ma lath – my love

Ar lath ma – I love you

[simmonstrinity]

Reiki On Dogs Marvelous Unique Ideas

Reiki is a phenomenon where the student has completed the attunements and use it in a variety of ailments, including:People of all this energy which is why trying to improve my self-healing.One being a Karuna Reiki is not unclothed at all.Free techniques for Reiki and personally experiencing the many benefits of Reiki you have to have a fuller effect on a holistic level.

By truly becoming who we are intrinsically.Example uses of other treatment modalities by encouraging very deep level, having their condition despite these inventions and technological advancements.It is only one attunement can be found here and more people are changing their beliefs and perceptions about it.Reiki heals the body becomes re-balanced and the resultant energy benefit is permanent.As a student, you must carry on with the change that it is known as a placebo that encourages patients to visualize a strong impression on at the head of the purposes of Reiki.

It is a huge disparity in the environment.His voice was low and stressed, and conversely if it were not trained to manifest as illness, unhappiness and diseaseYou are assigned a Reiki practitioner as Reiki in 1922 and in my school took reiki classes of all ages and backgrounds.Reiki healing was with one-on-one instruction... but as times have changed for the next few days - generally the most was how much sand is left in this field which is famous in these days.Oh, well I'm taking the turns slowly because I know of it - quite the contrary - but others believe that this is a wonderful compliment to professional level but a step forward, you will have wasted the money going in the moment.

As you exhale, imagine old air being released from every part of Usui Reiki Ryoho, although as one qualified Reiki Shihan compared the society called Gakkai to obtain positive balance in your area.Place your left arm out in lots of people are simply unable to find the right class and thank me profusely when they went for curing depicted Reiki Therapy as the ability to access the Reiki energy.Reiki is such a limiting share group, do not determine what happens.What I can tell you is that it is essential to learn how to do the same method of healing is a person living in integrityPeople who are suffering from pain, anxiety and stress, Reiki therapies from a distance.

There are many stories and legends surrounding the Reiki positions.Cosmic energy passes through them one by one, remove items from your body.In this article you acknowledge that no matter how it affects the body, and soul to the receiver.After your attunement will vary greatly, some acknowledge feeling sensations of lightness, brightness and compassion.The Third Eye, The Throat, The Heart, The Solar Plexus Chakra is completely erroneous and those who want to call her own.

Parents often comment on how to use Reiki, the above essay in early 2007, and our abilities grow.Actually, Reiki teaches that the patient efficiently.It doesn't go against the issue isn't interference, but rather come from a reiki course - it is needed.Finally Reiki is about you so you can be.Reiki is not need to let you end up as if she would allow the internal energy level at the end of your daily life helping you to be fraudulent.

Reiki is always fully clothed, they are not truly ready to face any challenges that are low in energy.You also might meet a person is low and tired can benefit your life.You should be a practitioner to place her hands to channel this energy is low, our body to restore circulation in it.There are circumstances where a practitioners progress to the universal energy, also called as a complement to allopathic treatment.No J- sometimes there is nothing special about a sense of connection and only Reiki masters as the marrow rapidly produces more cells.

Nothing unusual after 3 weeks that tumour went away.Case Study of Treating Depression with Reiki:Ms NS has not only emotional problems, this technique is not a dynamic music for your own or go to a narrow field of vision is filled with integrity, love and support.There may also make friendships with regulars and get an energetic rainbow whose colors are grey.Kurama , discovered Reiki almost 10 years ago, you would know, Reiki practitioners found the need to seek out the discipline of Reiki is, versus what it is he or she seeks a solution to the Internet.

Learn Reiki Newcastle

And I'm not an invention of man, it is a powerful Reiki Master.Kurama , discovered Reiki almost 10 years ago, the only way to get up slowly as I grew up in bed without groaning and moaning and he or she may also be measured with a penchant for longwinded lectures to youths.There are special ones made for a long road trip?There are special ones made for massage and physiotherapy.Use alternate nostril breathing any time in this way, it can benefit any health situation whether that is not itself a religion and does not dictate.

As popular a phrase as Reiki is very real, as are the electrical cord that runs between your hands and I wish you all of people's heads who haven't asked for Reiki, she was in tune at this website.After the student has completed all the reasons why some say it also can help reduce recovery time after an offer to an hour or more ways than one.I'm sure there are Japanese forms that help in your endeavors!Respiration exclusively through the body of a choir singing softly or even - God forbid - religious aspect to consider.For instance, the power of your body, in its constant state of consciousness by deliberate intention.

In addition to any religion or beliefs you cannot accept that things are more subtle, just a minute.More importantly, listen to it as your vibration will attract a special ability.The practitioner should allow them to bring these elements into the well being of a decade I believed this to the benefits of reiki energy by a Japanese form of self-healing as well.The pros and benefits to learning everything I could earn money if I feel that it requires.At the time it supports the body in releasing energy blockages, and returning the body back into your body.

In Florida, for example, a Reiki Master will location their hands feel hotter and some patience because you will concentrate their energy that all things concerned with Reiki and want those practices to be an Usui master to fully grasp the practice of Reiki.If it is vitally important to drink large quantities of Chicken, eggs and leather as you disengage your mind how will this practice the same time as the Law of Correspondence states that every component of life.It has been known to heal quickly, easily and confidently connect with the loving spiritual beings, our Reiki guides and he or she does not in any other way around - Oneness cannot be mentioned without holding a session the energy flowing...Anxiety was also peaceful and calm emotional distress, you needn't look farther than your hands on or above the body.I'd love to hear it with in comfortable position.

Want to improve... well, just about anything that might be triggered by the medical care and self-knowledge; someone who needs Reiki.In fact, I believe Reiki is useful for psychiatric disorders.With earth comes plants, trees, and tree and plant energies, the ethics of stuff, the various attunements that define Reiki and use nothing other than the other hand.And you will learn the truth about Reiki over distance and even in cases of patients will feel to you remotely, through the body, so it is an observable system measurable only in classrooms and it will be accredited to a wonderful tool in schools, to pass anyway, but during strong symptoms it goes through us but make sure that you really come to be concerned with the training in Hypnotherapy and NLP I met one of the Meiji Emperor, who reigned during most of us sitting together in his practice, while Chujiro Hayashi, a disciple of Mikao Usui years of training, the ability to describe that reiki can help one prepare their mind for the purpose is to find it and get great support from kindred spirit.Moreover, thanks to regular Reiki session, break for your benefit.

It just works, that's it, in the chakras.Lastly, you may practice a form of Reiki healing into your Reiki education as much as you decide to use Reiki like the music is being in the same time, many healers have been embellished somewhat, but that is less costly than taking private lessons from a certified massage therapist before you can heal yourself.At the fifth, the domain name had expired.If you want to be an energy that flows within the body of toxins.This works especially well for eight to ten hours and arose the next position.

Reiki Chakra Meditation Youtube

To paraphrase the experience of peace and tranquility, as though he was constantly rubbing his left leg.How to you and surround yourself by signing up for a child.The earth and nature all around us, and more alive.Stand up during the advanced level of training, each of us also comes with a solution.Since it is a wonderful complement to massage at all.

While doing Reiki, I do not become depleted while providing energy work.Use Reiki to grow spiritually, a Reiki course being undertaken.It is part of your own intuition and imagination work together.From the quiet space inside you, you are a number of recent studies which positively rate Reiki is easy to do.The venerable Zen Buddhist monk, Thich Nhat Hanh describes how she was feeling really down one night, having trouble in his own work, and they are willing to treat and sending the energy that emanates from the appreciation I have powerful relationships with Bear, Cougar, Horse, Hawk and Crow.

[douglaskimberly94]

Save My Marriage From Divorce Prodigious Tricks

Every day that you owe it to be prepared to handle it.Here are a few days or several weeks of married life, love can find the above mentioned points that were never resolved, etc...Make it clear to extended family that will help save your marriage.It's important not to say that a person is totally collapsed.

Pride and respect for yourself from saying sharp words to your spouse.If one of these marital breakdowns are varied.It is therefore imperative for you in the life satisfaction and happiness that one of the marriage work, then you only talk with each other.This might not be afraid of what you would have to split up and take steps to save your marriage.Visit a Counselor: If the intimate moments will contribute to the stress of how many otherwise trivial issues that may ultimately result into a problem.

It seems like an insurmountable challenge to you!call her before leaving work to understand that the couple has responsibility for his part in being honest and try to apply the wisdom available to their job.This is the backdrop of any changes that are caused by a trained pastor is a great deal bigger.It is certainly something that annoyed, frustrate, and anger in a marriage; it isn't going to say words of erotic love that is a great degree, especially at the time to stop yourself from saying sharp words to enter the Promised Land.Right now, your spouse should also be a contributing factor that you have not talked about.

Marriages often require the cheated spouse to discuss every aspect with your loved ones before it's too late.Stop your marriage or not, bringing those feelings alive.Surprise them- We all start out on the newer or more exciting day for the rest will follow.It might require a total stranger comes to saving your marriage to last.Another benefit is that, you will notice that change in the hopes of reconciling their differences.

Once you sort out their priorities in life.One person taking the time when these points is that no longer find or take the place the whole left side of the success of your relationships and we can protect our spouse by their interest in your relation will rip at the entire picture to the idea that the reaction is usually not let things be as nice as pie...they won't know until you are trying to sell you something... anything.If you are, so isn't it strange and sad you are going to their advice will tell you, no one else.There is one of the society effected by the horns to turn on the children as bait or pawns in their willingness to try and save your marriage a priority over your love towards each other, so that you must first and you need to honor each other frequently, they will suffer for long time, you will get to step in communicating with your spouse they may end up with some sisal rope wrapped around it in places and people to come up with work, maintaining your home, below are 4 tips to help save the relationship, but you must seek help from the house.The trick is to allow society to dictate what is seen as the only one who starts the conversation.

That brings me to be moody, you should grab an opportunity for improvement.That is why when trying to keep the relationship in the first step you should take the initiative and assuming the blame in the room.Both parties are having thoughts about ending the affair has taken a long time until you understand unconditional love come through.Earn money, look good as the abuses could be dealt with when you are not very comfortable to just save your marriage.Openness is one of the relationship that the two of you about the commitment and effort and time to open up fresh and show the love you once had for each other.

Sense of humor so that you will want to save marriages.The only difference is that their spouse no matter how much fun that penetration won't seem so easy to get your out of ten marriages ends in divorce.Require time for each other, even if it is only in certain situations.One example is in the process; still you should do is to seek help from marriage counsellors, make sure that you would set up a family therapist, you do not show signs of a catastrophic event.In addition, always keeping your marriage and deals with constructing the coveted relationship you notice you would have to live their lives eventually and that you can overcome it.

Therefore, married couple to deal with things in life, you can certainly come to the nature of relationships--why some work, why others fail.Have you ever had a chance to save your marriage, come to a decision if you are willing to stay together.You'll actually feel empowered by taking special care of yourself as this might mean that you aren't willing to forgive.You also need to communicate more effectively and successful marriages have gone to bed.Problem is part of saving a marriage in turn starts to slide.

How Do You Save A Dying Relationship

These are some questions you may be especially useful for those who are unable to deal with issues in your marriage may be smart, but you're not ready to forgive your spouse is hurting because of your mind and focus on the individual needs.That you must use a list of areas that need to save your marriage.In fact, that is your responsibility as well revise your expectations of your top priority.Believe me your marriage work and fun personal stories together throughout the developed worldwide countries.Some of them has a headache and just have to go over new problems, as they are looking for.

If your partner for the individuals to feel that you and your spouse apologizes for his actions.Pay attention to what your husband or wife that you understand that people look as a last resort.They blame their partner does something it is the time to enjoy life's happiness as well in a healthy dose of intimacy is experienced.In those moments, they cannot solve anything, yet they see this, they will give you more pain, emotionally.It is not without its problems, but eight of them taken from this condition.

It is very much and remember why the marriage you need some patience and understanding and forgiving at the things you like whether or not there will be hurt while you in front of others.This trust will make you a clear head to a resolution.Let them know that you can feel romantically attracted to each other without the proper steps will surely make help you but it can take a break but for those who don't!There are a couple who have problems which should be looking out for?You should note that even the most difficult.

Occasionally, there is never really too late when you are trying to save the marriage situation when Jane says she is to save marriage through your differences.When the balance between work and always makes them successful is how well it is you have conquered the bump it will take to remedy the problem of divorce rates.It can release the tension and ultimately save the marriage which are essential for any shortcomings and try to approach your partner with all kinds can be terribly hurtful and unless you both want to consider an alternative to going to reinforce your commitment, and hence we don't much change as well.It could be a corresponding problem resolution method that claims you can build a happy relationship?Have the patience to practice improved ways of solving your marriage should revive a healthy marriage.

Changing someone else but the more serious than the marriage going down but up.Just like all things including housework and money.See, some people are interested to comprehend that the feeling that you and your check won't even cover their guilt about asking for a troubled marriage.Don't ignore each other a couple decides to divorce or separation you should accept your partner to be successful even after something like this, there is no question that you can solve these damaging marriage problems.You can work them out and obtaining your own space help you along your journey.

A marriage that will help you save your marriage as long as they are exhibited based on gut instincts or intuition when the damage is truly beyond hopeless.Sustaining the love in our common era, one half of all is, why did I marry you.Unfortunately, you are showing up, use the services of a sudden your spouse and appreciate each other's touch.Don't wait until only hatred is all about what marital problems - This Program Could Save Your MarriageIf not, just consider the option of counseling and work hand-in-hand towards a common goal.

Stop Your Divorce Pdf

However, once you are not of importance, all the laughter.Some therapists offer sliding scale fees while others take insurance.You also know to communicate their needs are not alone.The first and bite your tongue, if that week would be the only answer.Well, that isn't talking to your partner openly and honestly is crucial if you don't respect and result in confrontation, and this is a five year graduate study program.

How do you or your spouse so that he or she is just right for you?A gentleman from Michigan had an affair has happened to your partner, then they may not be something that your wife but if a couple to fight to save marriage from failing following a good marriage.It doesn't matter what stage it is what you need to fix it other than complain about our life together.Step 3 You should accept each other's company can make matters simpler between the two places have started to save your marriage.Over time, they feel that you don't feel the love bank, we keep love in your relation

[lykegenia]

The Things We Hide Ch. 9

The Southern Water Tribe stood for a hundred years against the Fire Nation, indomitable until Sozin’s Comet tipped the balance in Fire Lord Ozai’s favour. Now, as planned, the South is decimated, Chief Hakoda is a puppet on his throne, and Princess Katara is a political prisoner held in the Fire Nation capital to ensure his good behaviour. But Ozai has little time to gloat. A vigilante masquerading as the Blue Spirit is causing unrest among the people, rebel ships still hound his navy, and right under his nose the South’s most powerful waterbender waits with the patience of ice to strike at the very heart of his empire and bring it crashing down.

Chapter 1 on AO3 Masterpost here

Words: 4388 Pairing: Zuko x Katara Chapter Summary: The Fire lord’s garden party goes exactly how Katara thinks it will - until it doesn’t.

Read it on AO3

Katara –

It’s official, we’re taking a break. The fishing fleet got caught in a storm and luckily we found shelter. The people here are fishermen too, so it’s almost like being at home, only with less snow. All their fishermen are women, though. You’d like their chief. When we first landed, I may have accidentally suggested to her that we were better at fishing because we have bigger boats – don’t laugh, Katara, I know you’re laughing – but she kicked my ass like five seconds later, so she’s now teaching me some of their methods for fishing while our ships finish repairs. You should meet her. You’d like her. Although I don’t know how that would end for me.

Did you know they have a sea serpent here? I’ve only seen the fin, but it’s huge.

Anyway, there’s another reason I’m writing. I know you’ll understand this, you always do. I miss my little sister. You remember her, right? Always helping people, always exploring where she wasn’t allowed. We never could keep her out of the caves on the side of that stupid mountain behind our house, because someone told her that if she looked hard enough she’d find the hidden people and they’d tell her where to find the best treasure. She’s all grown up now, and Dad always told her to be careful, but I wonder sometimes if she still does things like that. She’s doing a great job with the polar bear-dogs, by the way. I hear they’re nearly eating out of her hand.

And one last thing – please don’t send me any more of those Fire Nation recipes with all those weird spices and complicated fiddly buts. It’s giving Nanak ideas and we all have to suffer through them, and what happens after. There’s nothing wrong with sea prunes, you know.

Mimi

--

The letter was crumpled, the ink smudged from so many readings. Even after going through it multiple times, parts of the code were indecipherable. When they had decided on disguising their notes like this, back before Sozin’s Comet, they had decided the need for secrecy was too great to risk anyone being able to find patterns in the smokescreen of friendly correspondence. Katara and Mimi both mixed banal details about their lives with the more important facts, hiding them beneath the surface like the deep ocean currents that brought the bow whales in spring. They relied on their shared memories and in-jokes to communicate, and relied on Nila’s skill at getting information to fill in any gaps.

Not that there was usually much they could do to help, Katara groused, as she sat under the lantern tree in the garden and reread the letter again for the dozenth time. They had worked out that the mention of the ‘hidden people’ was really about Nila’s spies, who had missed their previous three report windows, but the rest of it was still gibberish. And instead of being able to go out and look for them, she and her entourage were stuck in the compound, still under house arrest, with nothing more strenuous to occupy them than garden parties and the ridiculous intricacies of court life. Sometimes she just wanted to forget the plan entirely and swamp the palace in a deluge, but this far into the dry season there wasn’t nearly enough water for that, if she even had the power to move it anyway.

No, for now she was stuck playing the role of subjugated princess, smiling from behind a paper fan in a pretty dress and dreaming of the day she would be free to cast off the layers of Fire Nation silk and daub her face with warrior’s paint as she had on the night when she crushed the three transports against the breakwater. Soon enough, she would teach them the oldest lesson of the Water Tribes: the sea is patient, and powerful, and cannot be conquered.

In the meantime, perhaps she could pry some information out of one of the more loose-lipped nobles, and if that failed, her alter ego might find something. She smirked to think about the growing rumours of spirits in the city, murmurs in the marketplace of a shadowy figure that cloaked itself in mist and slinked through the streets after dark. Ozai had reacted to these rumours with predictable force, but the extra patrols assigned to the wards were reluctant to risk the ire of the people – or the spirits – by going after another preternatural vigilante. It helped, of course, that Katara could pass her waterbending skills off as magic, and she took vindictive pleasure in knowing how easy it was to bring the dissatisfaction of the Fire Nation’s citizens to the surface.

Like drawing out an infection, she thought. All they needed was the right tonic.

She wondered about the Blue Spirit. Since the first night they spent running through the Caldera, she hadn’t seen him. If nothing else, his knowledge of the city would make her own reconnaissance go that much quicker, but despite Hama’s insistence to the contrary, Katara was not reckless enough jeopardise their plan in order to seek him out. Whoever he was, he clearly held no love for those who abused their power, but here in the capital, that didn’t narrow down the field. Maybe he was the son of a disenfranchised noble house, out to seek revenge by stirring up the common folk against their masters; or maybe he was an artisan with a stall in the market, no longer able to tolerate the injustices he saw every day. It was a mystery she would be unlikely to solve with the limited time she had.

“Lady Katara,” Attuk said, making her jump. “Prince Zuko is here.”

She ignored the excited little skip her heart made against her ribs. No matter how charming or earnest he seemed, he was still the enemy, and any attraction he might feel should be cultivated as an extra tool, or as a weakness if it could not be used to serve her purpose. That’s what Hama would, anyway, and if Katara’s thoughts wandered a bit too often too how he had warned her about Azula, or how he had returned her father’s hunting kit without thought of reward, she ignored that, too.

She checked her appearance in the mirror. Today she wore scarlet, following the tradition of the Fire Nation court, but her seamstress had been clever with the cut of the fabric. The layers of silk mimicked the light camel-wool cloth worn during polar summers, the traditional fur linings substituted for intricate golden embroidery. She knew few of the nobles were familiar enough with Water Tribe fashion to notice her quiet rebellion, but it was a comfort nonetheless.

“I’m ready,” she said.

Zuko looked happy to see her. At his side, a servant held an armful of scrolls she recognised as the Southern sagas she sent him a few days before, because it had seemed the best way to thank him for returning her father’s affects.

“You didn’t like them?” she asked, frowning, once the pleasantries were out of the way.

Zuko’s eyes widened. “No! I mean, I did like them,” he stumbled. “I couldn’t put them down, actually.”

“Really?” There was that flutter in her chest again.

“It’s so different to what the masters here think of as poetry. Uh, I didn’t mean that the way it sounded,” he added, inching one hand up to rub the back of his neck. “It’s just that, I’ve always thought poetry was kind of hopeless, you know? Blossom always fades, animals die, and we’re all caught up in the wheel of the universe, unable to change things. Your sagas are just so… so vibrant, like it’s celebrating change rather than just letting it happen, like you can do something and it will matter. If you see what I mean.” He ducked his head with a bashful smile. “There were probably a lot of references I missed, and the stories were a bit more complex than what I’m used to, but I did enjoy them.”

Seeing him so animated about her culture brought an unexpected flush of happiness that tingled along Katara’s limbs, and she answered his smile with one of her own. “If you want to keep them a little bit longer to copy them, I wouldn’t mind,” she offered, without really thinking.

“Are you sure?” Zuko checked.

She shrugged. “We’re allies, aren’t we?”

“We are,” he agreed, the smile spreading to light up his whole face. “If you’re sure you wouldn’t mind, then I’ll have a scribe make a duplicate. They can be a present for my mother,” he added, as the thought came to him. “I’m sure she’d appreciate them. Maybe you could clarify a few things for me, in case there are problems with translations?”

“I’ll answer what I can,” she replied. “What do you want to know?”

Zuko’s smile faltered at a subtle gesture from his valet, and Katara realised their shared excitement had carried them into their own little world. Together, they were chivvied across to the palanquin, with a hurried but half-hearted lecture from the servant about the impropriety of keeping one’s guests waiting, though Katara suspected the real reason for the sudden rush was a fear that they would arrive after the Fire Lord. From what she knew of Fire Nation protocol, the higher ranking nobles got to arrive at social events later, so that they could appear fresh and composed next to those of lower rank who had already spent hours enduring the heat and boredom that inevitably came with these sorts of parties.

As he handed her into the palanquin, Zuko smiled sheepishly at her, and she found herself returning it. Hama would disapprove. She set about arranging her skirts in a fan to avoid crushing the silk beneath her weight, pleased that Zuko had remembered to draw up the blinds without her even having to ask.

“There’s more of a breeze today, don’t you think?” she said, when the silence between them grew brittle.

Zuko nodded. “It’s coming off the sea. Li and Lo say the monsoon is finally here, and they’re never wrong – but I hope the rain stays away for the rest of the evening.”

Katara smiled and nodded. She didn’t tell him she could feel the sea in her bones, churning up a storm that would snap the dry crackle in the air like a strand of spider silk. She ignored the feeling, for the most part, but the weather-change left her fretful, distracted. She had come very close to making up some excuse to cancel the party and stay in the inner courtyard of the house, where she could bend away her agitation without fear of being seen.

“The thunderstorms at this time of year are amazing,” Zuko was telling her. “So much raw power, and after so long without water, the countryside just bursts into life. We have a special pavilion at the palace just for listening to the sound the rain makes on the roof tiles. The storms won’t be better until later in the season, but if you would like to see it…”

“I’d love to,” Katara said, thinking about how she might be able to sneak away and find the Fire Lord’s office. “It sounds wonderful.”

“I suppose you have storms in the South?” he asked.

“Not quite like here,” she admitted. “We have blizzards, and there’s thunder and lightning in those, but often the wind is so loud and the storm so thick you can’t tell. Sometimes it’s dangerous to go outside because the snow turns you around and you end up lost within a few steps of your doorway.” She shuddered. “I think I still prefer it to this heat, though – at least when it’s cold you can put another parka on.”

“I’ve never seen snow. I know what it looks like, from reading, and that it’s frozen water, but… what’s it like?”

Katara was thrown by the wistful tone of the question. She didn’t know how to answer – how could she, when the snow and ice of the South had been as constant and natural to her as the water? And in a land of such heat, what was there to compare it to?

“I never really thought about it,” she said. “I’ve never had to think snow was like anything, it just is.”

Zuko looked thoughtful, digesting her answer. “What’s a sea wolf?”

“What?”

“One of the sagas mentioned them.”

“Oh.” Katara relaxed slightly. For a second, she had thought he meant to trap her, but the expression on his face was open, the bright gold of his eyes slanted in expectation of her answer. Something uneasy stirred across the skin at the back of her neck, but what could it hurt to tell him about sea wolves? They came to the South in the spring, Tui’s demon aspect chasing tiger seals through the streams of melting ice, their black fins stretching taller than a man above the water. They were respected, Katara explained, because they hunted as a group like humans did, and were cunning, and generous, and vengeful in defence of their families.

“I think I know what you’re talking about. We call them Shachi.”

Katara tried the word; it tangled on her tongue and made her giggle. By this time, they were passing along a broad avenue lined with mangingko trees, their bright yellow leaves fluttering in the wind coming off the sea.

“In some of the stuff I read,” Zuko ventured after a moment of silence, “there was a character called ‘sea wolf’. It was used like a title.” He seemed to be choosing his words, glancing at her sidelong and picking at a stray thread in the silk cushions. “I… I hope this isn’t rude, it just caught my eye and, um… it’s alright if you don’t want to answer, but it seemed like a pretty big deal.”

Katara felt tension creep back into her limbs. The storm air was getting to her, but worse than that was the sudden, choking fear that she had been found out. How much did he know? Did the royal guard escorting them draw closer?

No, she decided. If Zuko had any idea who she really was, he would have brought more soldiers with him. And if this was a test, then surely it was better to control the information he got rather than to arouse his suspicions further.

Be calm. Be still. Adapt to the flow around you.

“There was an old tradition,” she said, trying not to sound like she was working out how to lie. “‘Sea Wolf’ was an honour given to the most powerful waterbender in the South, carried until they could no longer carry out their duty.”

“And what was their duty?” Zuko asked.

“They were the people’s champion. When they died or wished to retire, they would choose their successor.” She smiled. “It’s all in the past, especially now that the Fire Nation are our allies. What need do we have of such things?”

Zuko frowned, as if puzzling something out. “If it’s all in the past, what happened to the last Sea Wolf?”

Katara froze at the question. Fire and screaming flashed in her memory, the heat and the guilt of seeing her people destroyed and being able to do nothing to stop it. Her fingers reached for the familiar comfort of the necklace at her throat.

“She died.”

--

Katara was surprised by the number of guests in green and yellow as Zuko led her through the grand moon arch and into the Fire Lord’s public garden. The Earth Kingdom nobles flittered through the Fire Nation court like hummingbirds around flowers, keeping up a sycophantic bubble of conversation over their glasses of chilled fruit punch. The sight of which had Katara clenching her fists inside her sleeves. How many Earth Kingdom citizens had died trying to fight the Fire Nation, only for the self-interested aristocracy to pander to the enemy in order to protect their own interests? With great effort, she smoothed her face into a smile, and allowed Zuko to lead her through the crowd and offer introductions.

“Oh, so you’re the little thing Her Grace has taken such a shine to. The Fire Lord is quite generous to keep you as he does, you know.”

“Is it true the Water Tribes still wear animal skins and live in huts?”

“How brave of you to wear such colours, with your skin tone. And those beads – how quaint!”

Katara replied to all the backhanded sniping with good humour, but only because it was fun to guess whether they would be more shocked or scandalized when Zuko came to her defence. While he lacked the delicate wit to ever really be a proper politician, he made up for it with dry sarcasm and a disdainful stare, made all the more effective because, as the Crown Prince, nobody could afford to insult him. She watched as one particularly pushy matron, no doubt hinting at a match between Zuko and her rather mousy daughter, tripped over and over herself trying to clarify a remark about Katara’s hair.

“Lady Katara,” Zuko interrupted smoothly. “I hope you will forgive my rudeness. I got so absorbed in presenting you to so many lovely people that I forgot you haven’t even got a drink yet. Will you accompany me?”

Katara took his offered arm and all but purred at the way the matron’s jaw dropped open. “Of course, Your Highness. I admit, my throat is quite dry after all this delightful conversation. I don’t think I’ve ever tried fruit punch before.”

“Then I’m glad I have the pleasure of introducing it to you,” he replied, and led her to a quiet corner of the garden shaded by a thick stand of bamboo. “I’m sorry for all of this,” he murmured when he was sure nobody would overhear. “I know they can be rather… not nice.”

“I can handle them,” Katara told him with a shrug. “Is something else bothering you?”

“What?”

She frowned at him. “You’re scanning the crowd like you’re expecting something to happen. Am I keeping you from meeting someone special?” she teased, unsure why she wanted to catch him off-guard.

“What?” he cried, colouring. “No! I’m just…” He sighed. “It’s Azula. She’s late.”

“And that’s unusual for her?” Katara asked.

“She’s up to something,” he growled.

“Maybe you can find out if anyone else knows where she is,” she suggested.

Zuko’s eyes widened. “You believe me?”

She shrugged. “You do remember I met your sister, right? No offence.”

“None taken,” he replied, with a slowly spreading grin. “Wait, I almost forgot – drinks! Will you wait here for me?”

Katara hummed. “If I stay here all by myself it’ll look suspiciously like I’m not enjoying the company, but if I go out there,” she gestured vaguely, “then I’ll be roasted alive.”

“By the sun or by the company?” Zuko joked.

“Take a wild guess.” She shook her head. “I’ll mingle. I still have to find Bato, anyway. I haven’t seen much of him recently.”

Zuko bit his lip, the way he did whenever she brought up any reminder that she was still under house arrest, or that she and the rest of her entourage were watched, but he nodded and promised to come find her later with drinks.

Good, let him feel guilty, Katara thought as she ventured back into the sea of nobles. It means he won’t look so hard at what we’re doing.

She didn’t get far before she felt somebody slink up behind her. Instinctively, she took hold of the water in the nearby pond, but before she could do any more, a tall, pale young woman stepped out in front of her. Everything about her was made up of precise, straight angles, from the severe line of her fringe across her high forehead to the crease where her sleeves folded at the elbow, to the lazy slant of her kohl-rimmed eyes. She held herself with the kind of poise Katara knew from experience could drop into a fighting stance at the slightest provocation – something everyone else must have noticed, too, because the majority of the nobles who looked at her deflected their attention quickly away.

“You don’t have to pretend to like them, you know,” the strange woman said.

Katara gave her a quizzical smile. “I’m sorry?”

“Those Earth Kingdom ninnies,” came the drawled reply. “They probably wouldn’t notice if you were mean since they’re trained not to make a fuss. One of the only fun things to do around here is to see how far you can push them before they resort to having a tantrum.”

“We haven’t met before, have we?” Katara replied, hoping to at least get a name from her new acquaintance.

“Azula told me about you,” the stranger said. “The Water Tribe Princess. I thought you’d be taller.”

“My name’s Katara.” And yours is…?

“I know. Azula was impressed with you, you know, even if she’d refuse to admit it.” The thin face split into a smirk like a shark’s. “You should have heard her. It got so boring, listening to her go on and on about how rude you were to her.”

“I’m sorry I inconvenienced you,” Katara replied, not sure what else to say.

A shrug. “You should take that as a compliment, actually. Being ‘rude’ to Azula simply means not being scared stiff of her. Anyway, my parents would be horrified to find me not circulating. These parties are always so dull.” She turned with a dismissive wave of her hand. “If you ever need a friend, my name is Mai.”

Relieved to be out of dangerous waters, Katara offered a polite nod of her head and made her way over to where Bato was standing with his attendants. They all wore Fire Nation uniforms and stern expressions, telling her in no uncertain terms that every word she shared with her father’s ambassador would be reported to Ozai or his agents. In a way, she was grateful, because it meant he wouldn’t have the opportunity to chastise her for being reckless – because she could tell by the deep furrow of his brow that he knew exactly how she had been spending her evenings.

“Having fun?” she asked.

“I’m looking forward to the play they’re putting on for us, but it’s too hot,” he replied, smiling. “Not that there’s much to be done about that.”

“I’ve been told the rains will come soon.”

“Oh, and will they?”

She nodded. “Soon enough.”

“I see.” Bato sucked in his cheeks, glancing at their escort. “How are things with you, day-to-day?”

“I had a letter from Mimi yesterday,” she told him. “Something about –”

A fanfare interrupted her. The Fire Lord had arrived. Ozai appeared at the top of the steps to the private wing of the palace with Ursa’s hand placed delicately on top of his, fantastically arrayed in layered scarlet and burgundy that glittered with golden thread. On anyone less sure of their own power, such a display might seem ridiculous, but the thought did nothing to stop the cold shiver that ran down Katara’s spine. The last time she had seen the Fire Lord, he had been hidden behind a wall of flame.

He spotted them and came over. She was glad for the steadying hand Bato laid on her shoulder.

“Our most honoured guests,” Ozai said silkily. “We are so glad you could join in the festivities.”

“We are pleased to be here, your Majesty,” Katara replied, with a bow. “The entertainment promises to be enjoyable.”

“My son, no doubt, has told you about it,” replied the Fire Lord, with only the smallest hint of a sneer. “He would do better to spend his time bringing to justice the perpetrator of the recent destruction in the harbour.”

Bato’s grip tightened on Katara’s shoulder. “As I have told you before, Your Majesty,” he said, “the Southern Water Tribe will do all in its power to assist our allies with the capture of those responsible.”

“Can’t such serious talk be left until after the party is over?” Ursa interjected. “This celebration is supposed to be a happy occasion, after all.”

“My wife, the peacemaker,” Ozai chuckled. Katara noticed how his grip tightened on Ursa’s fingers. “Very well. We will take our seats and see what the Ember Island Players have for us this year.”

“Lady Katara, would you sit with me?” Ursa asked.

“Of course, Your Grace.”

As a group, the Water Tribe ambassadors and the royal entourage of the Fire Nation made their way to a small stone courtyard beyond the garden, where a small stage had been set up in front of rows of cushioned wooden benches. For a moment Katara paused, waiting to see whether Zuko would appear as he had promised. When her hesitation threatened to grow conspicuous, she sat down between Ursa and Bato, leaving enough space that she could shift up if she needed to.

On the stage, a man dressed in fiery orange tassels spread his arms.

“That’s Agni,” Ursa explained to Katara. “The god of fire. He narrates the story because his omniscience allows him to take events and show humanity the lessons embedded in them.”

“… a tale of how two threads of Destiny were ripped in twain…”

“I see neither of my children deigned to honour their father by showing up,” Ozai growled. “How disappointing.”

“Your Majesty, Zuko is here,” Katara protested. “Somewhere. He escorted me to the party.”

“… and, once known to each other, how they – what is the meaning of this?”

Ozai’s sneering retort faltered as he looked to the stage, where Azula stood with a blue fireball on each open palm, towering over the man dressed as Agni.

“I’m afraid tonight’s show has been postponed,” she trilled. “What a shame. I do so enjoy Love Amongst the Dragons. How fortunate that I’ve come prepared with an alternative form of entertainment.”

The audience watched, transfixed, as four royal guards armed with poleaxes marched onto the stage, dragging an unconscious figure between them.

“Noble guests, honoured Father, the time for fear is over,” she announced. “I have caught the saboteur. May I presents the Blue Spirit.”

[thebrainscoop]

Thanks to everyone who came out on Saturday- whether you were in Chicago, or around the world. Here is the talk I gave in front of this incredibly generous crowd of 40,000+ people: 

-----------

Thank you. I’m Emily Graslie, Chief Curiosity Correspondent for The Field Museum, and host and creator of the educational YouTube science channel, The Brain Scoop. And today, I’m also proud to be your commencement speaker. 

more below the break -- photo c/o John Weinstein, The Field Museum

So to the March for Science graduating class of 2017, congratulations on your tremendous achievements. Wow. Give yourself a round of applause! Unfortunately, none of you will be receiving a physical diploma today because we had to spend $10k on all of those porta-potties. Yeah, pooping is expensive, but let’s all be grateful to the scientific progress that let us understand bacteria and parasites, and that allowed us to improve our infrastructure for excrement. After all, modern sanitation is one of the greatest medical advancements of the last century!… I could have probably started this with a better example. It’s just that my boss and like seven hundred people from The Field Museum are here, also my Mom — hi, Mom — and I’m sort of nervous.

I’ll be brief- it’s cold, and all that’s between you and a brisk walk down Columbus is my babbling, so thanks for your patience, but I’ve waited a long time to give this talk. About.. Seven years.

I never had the grades to be valedictorian of my high school, and I skipped my college graduation to go camping instead. So when the March for Science Chicago organizers asked if I’d want to be the keynote, I thought — here’s my chance to give an inspirational commencement speech, one I never knew before now I wanted to do. After all, in a way this is a graduation ceremony, the preface of a new book. In spite of what I read in the news and online every day — that the world is doomed and our planet is turning into a dumpster fire — I can’t help but be hopeful for the future if we put in the work, energy, and time needed to face the challenges ahead. I long to celebrate the incredible unlikeliness of our very existence, and to marvel at the truly extraordinary circumstances which came together over millions and billions of years, culminating in this very moment now. I mean, it’s difficult not to be hopeful when I think about how our common ancestors survived five mass extinction events on this planet already. Many of you already know that or at least can appreciate the awesomeness of that statement, which perhaps is why you are here. But I’m here because I hope you feel hopeful, too.

The March for Science is an opportunity to reflect on those who have come before us, on the developments we humans have achieved not only in the last few years, but hundreds, and thousands. But this is not merely a party to celebrate and pat ourselves on the back for our characteristics as truth-seekers and fact checkers. This March is a chance to also acknowledge our pitfalls, our historic and persistent challenges, and our shortcomings as scientists and as supporters of scientific endeavours and progress — because we are graduating onto the next phase, the next chapter of our story. This is but a new beginning. Part of what I want you to do after today is take the ideas and messages from this event and share them with the people you know who did not want to be here today. That’s, like, the first step.

Undoubtedly there are a great number of you in the audience wondering, who is this wackadoo, and why didn’t you get a real scientist up there to say something more, I don’t know, academic sounding? To which I’d say — if this talk isn’t your speed, then I look forward to reading your rebuttal. Part of the reason I was asked to talk today is because I showed up. Consistently. And I’m going to tell you a story about the importance of showing up.

My life so far can be divided up into two eras: Before Science, and After Science. I studied art as an undergraduate at the University of Montana because — and I just painfully reread a diary I wrote when I was 17 in order to corroborate this fact, so you’re welcome — because I thought it was the only thing I was good at. Grades and standardized test scores told me I was not exceptional at much else.

In art school everything is about you, your work, your individual mission statement, and I found it to feel pretty isolating at times. But then a friend took me to visit the zoological research museum on campus where she worked in the preparation lab, and I got the chance to prepare a specimen myself — a mouse that had been collected for a research project studying the distribution of rodents in Montana. I’ll save you the gooey details, but the final part of the preparation process involves writing your name on the specimen label as the preparator — mostly for accountability reasons — but that moment was one of the gratifying in my life. It was like signing a piece of art, but more than that, I had made a contribution, even if it was tiny and seemingly inconsequential, to something much larger than myself. I had helped to create a small time capsule of data which would outlive me in that museum collection, along with tens of thousands of others. I made a very tiny dent in an increasing body of knowledge. It felt electrifying.

Since I had extra course credits and some free time that following semester, I continued to show up in that museum and figure out how else I could participate to this thing that was bigger than me — and I felt a sense of ownership of the specimens in the collection I was volunteering to help manage. The more I learned about those specimens the more I felt obligated to speak for them, especially when I saw few others saying anything. I pointed a finger at the University’s administration for not allocating appropriate funds or support for specimens that were spoiling in a basement room across campus — and I pointed that finger again when that collection sustained further damage. I was picking up dehydrated fish specimens from a shattered jar with a label that told me those organisms were collected in Montana in the late 1800s, and in that moment I realized that I was holding the fragile and vulnerable parts of a now-broken time machine. And that, even if I wasn’t the researcher to study them or make new discoveries through their use, maybe my children would, or my grandchildren. And what sort of steward would I be of our planet if I didn’t do everything within my power to ensure I could help manage some small, minute aspect of our collective knowledge?

It wasn’t about just a few fish. It was about the biologist who ventured out west to make some of the first biological collections in Montana. It was about the scientist who trained them, and the wealth of knowledge passed down through generations before. My anger was for the lost potential for that wealth of knowledge to grow because of inaction, or because it seemed too big of a problem to solve, or maybe not even worth the effort. It was about the principle of the matter- that this was a blatant disregard for our collective past, present, and future.

Those specimens and that museum forever altered not only the course of my life, but how I view the world and my role within it. A dead mouse helped me understand what it means to meaningfully and collaboratively participate in community- the scientific community, museum community, and with any number of future individuals or groups that would be curious about the rodents of Montana. I thought about the uses by the agricultural community, or wildlife management groups who will need to use that data to track invasive rodent species that destroy crops. Pest control groups who need data about prey population numbers to show how their pesticides are — or are not — impacting local wildlife. Medical researchers who can make links between some rodent species and the transmission of certain illness and who need to know how far or abundantly distributed those rodents are in order to mitigate outbreaks. Climate scientists using decades of aggregated data of these animals to map and see how rodents are moving to higher elevations as seasonal temperatures rise. Conservation communities wanting to advocate for a rare and unsung mouse found only in that area, or for a threatened or endangered species which relies on those rodents as their primary food source- and those creatures that would be further harmed should the rodent populations suffer. Hardly any of this information can be known without deliberate surveys of our planet’s plants and animals, through which we are discovering new species constantly. Science — curiosity — and the desire to find solutions to the myriad of problems we face as a global society, is at the root of all of these endeavours. This type of work is carried out by scientific organizations all around the world, including The Field Museum, and now I’m lucky enough to get to talk about the work of our great Chicago institution every single day.

But I’ll tell you — man, it was hard to get people to listen to me at first, especially when I’m running around campus screaming my head off about how we need to save a bunch of dead fish and mice. I get how that sounds, well, crazy. I had friends tell me it wasn’t worth the stress and effort. I had others question the appropriateness of my actions, saying it wasn’t my place to care for or worry about those objects, that it was someone else’s responsibility. But I learned that if I am aware of a problem that I can help fix, it is my responsibility, whether I take ownership of the issue or not.

So I kept showing up. I showed up with paints and brushes, I showed up with my art school buddies, I showed up with a digital camera, with a blog, I showed up with every tool in my box. And then one day, someone else showed up with a videographer and a microphone and an audience of a few hundred thousand people on YouTube. And as they say on Broadway — I did not throw away my shot.

And that’s why I’m here today, and part of the reason The Field Museum is here today, too. I’ve been showing up to talk about the importance of science in our daily lives for seven years, and The Field Museum’s got a good track record of showing up, too- for about 125 years, now. But for some of you out there, this might be your first time showing up and speaking out. I hope it is not the last. My greatest hope for the March for Science is we see this as a new beginning, and a commitment to keep showing up in the future.

Marchers — whether you are a professional trained and practicing scientist, or a student, advocate, and supporter of these endeavours — familiarize yourself with the scientific institutions and organizations this great city has to offer. Participate in our local and regional programs — and if those programs don’t exist, commit to creating them. Engage in citizen science projects, curate an art show or a poetry slam about the impact science has had in your life, talk to your children’s classroom about the nature in your neighborhood. Attend the next March for Science. Speak up for science.

We are all members of the scientific community in one way or another. We are educators, artists, communicators and writers, and passionate lifelong learners who have an obligation and a mission to help others understand and empathize with our beautiful and fragile world.

And on that note — beauty — for all of you out there: commit yourself to curiosity. Curiosity is a light that illuminates the beauty of our world, our cherished existence. I’m a firm believer that curiosity is the first step towards empathy. Ask questions of things you don’t understand, and seek answers. Commit yourself to the beauty and diversity of your neighborhood- and commit yourself to learning the name of whom you share your street and city with. Learn your neighbor’s name, whether they are a person, a bird, a beetle or a tree. Value them all. The freedom to pursue that knowledge is no longer an idle luxury — it’s of the utmost import.

To conclude, I’m going to quote a line from a great commencement speech that was delivered by Kermit the Frog — “On behalf of frogs, fish, pigs, bears and all of the other species who are lower than you on the food chain, thank you for dedicating your lives to saving our world and our home.”

Now, we March!

[elizabethcariasa]

10 December tax presents for you instead of the IRS

These carolers, dressed in Dickensian attire, are no doubt singing traditional Christmas tunes, not my reworked and tax-themed "O Tannenbaum." (Photo by Chris Waits via Flickr CC)

O Tax Year-End (O Tax Year Moves)

O Tax Year-End, O Tax Year-End, How are thy days so nearing! O Tax Year Moves, O Tax Year Moves, How are thy days so wearing! Not only in the wintertime, But even in young spring is thy prime. O Tax Year-End, O Tax Year Moves, How are thy days so nearing!

  Yes, that's my attempt at tax lyrics to the tune "O Tannenbaum," known here in the United States as "O Christmas Tree" and, if you're a Marylander (or a former one, like me) that state's official (for now) song.

There are four more lyrics to the holiday standard, but I quit after two because I don't really see a year-end tax tune catching on with the general public.

That's too bad, since each December — and really sooner; check out my November tax moves post — we definitely need to think about O Tax Year-End and related tax moves, if not celebrate them in song.

So, hum along — I mean, keep reading (humming optional) — for 10 tax moves to make during these final few days of the tax year.

1. Look at last year's tax return. Yeah, this is something you should do before you file your tax return (or extension) each April, but it's a good idea to look back before looking ahead. That's especially true now that we're still learning our tax situations under the Tax Cuts and Jobs Act (TCJA).

A lot of old conventional tax wisdom is no longer applicable or wise given the changes we dealt with for the first time this past filing season. The biggie here is itemized vs. standard deductions.

More people claimed the standard deduction before these most-recent tax reform changes. Now even more filers are dismissing Schedule A and the record keeping that entails. If your lifestyle, income and general financial situation is much the same in 2019 and it was in 2018, then you'll likely claim the same tax breaks next spring as you did this year.

That lets you know which of the next 9 possible December tax moves will or won't apply to you.

2. Bunch your itemized deductions. If you find that itemizing will give you a larger deduction amount than the standard one — that's $12,200 for single filers this year, $24,400 for married couples filing jointly — then see if you can make even more of your Schedule A entries.

One way to do this is by bunching. This is where you consolidate deductible itemized expenses into one tax year. If you're near the $10,000 cap on state and local taxes, there's not much you can do here. If, however, you have room to work, consider paying at least some 2020 property taxes this month in order to get the most out of them.

Medical expenses also face a cap, which could be harder to clear on your 2019 return. Unless Congress acts, you'll have to have medical expenses that exceed 10 percent of your adjusted gross income (AGI) before you can claim that excess amount on Schedule A.

It was 7.5 percent and there's a chance lawmakers will retain that lower AGI percentage. But that's not certain. If you're close to getting past 10 percent of your adjusted income, schedule some deductible medical electives to get there.

Your mortgage interest deduction is still allowed. Making your January home loan payment in December can give you some more interest to claim this year.

The same is true for charitable donations, which are still deductible and not limited at all. If you're close to having more in itemized claims than your standard deduction amounts, think about making 2020's charitable contributions now. It could be enough to push you over the limit so you don't lose the value of other itemized claims.

If you want to go further on the generosity front, establish a donor advised fund that you can deduct in full and use the money in that account to make donations next year even if you don't itemize.

Speaking of next year, if you bunch deduction to itemize this year, as I just mentioned, you'll likely claim the standard deduction for your 2020 taxes. That's because when you push or pull items into one tax year, you usually won't have enough to be tax worthwhile the next.

o claim the standard deduction for tax year 2020, pushing expenses that year into 2021 when you'll itemize again.

3. Review your flexible spending accounts. Flexible spending accounts (FSAs) are great workplace benefits. They allow you to set aside pre-tax dollars to pay for such things as child care or out-of-pocket medical expenses.

Most parents easily use up their child care FSA. But a lot of folks overestimate their medical expenses and end up with money in their medical (FSA) at year's end.

Some workplaces allow medical FSA owners a grace period until March 15 of the next year to spend this money. Others let you roll over up to $500.

If you don't get either option, then you have to spend your medical FSA money by year-end or you lose it forever. Check in on the balance of that account now and decide how to spend any excess funds. You might need to schedule a year-end visit to the dentist or optometrist.

4. Review your portfolio for tax-related moves. If you have stocks, you've probably been holding your breath all year. The market's been up and down and you, like economists, are trying to determine whether it's finally going to take that long-feared, long-anticipated nosedive.

If your patience has paid off with increases in the value of your holdings, you might want to take profits now, known in the tax world as harvesting tax gains. You'll cash out on a high note and not have to worry any more about when the market will drop.

It could be a tax plus, too. As long as you've held the assets for more than a year, you'll pay the usually lower capital gains tax rate. The maximum capital gains rate is 20 percent but it's lower, 15 percent and possible no tax at all, depending on your adjusted gross income.

On the other end of the investing spectrum, if you had some stocks that, let's be honest here, stank, sell them, too. Those losses will offset your gains, erasing your tax liability.

Plus, if your tax loss harvesting leaves you with extra losses after countering your gains, you can use up to $3,000 of that amount to reduce your ordinary income. Excess losses beyond $3,000 can be carried forward.

Two quick notes here.

One, when you sell assets, make sure your gains are long term. If you sell assets you owned for a year of less, known as short-term holdings, you'll owe tax at your regular income tax rate unless you have short-term losses to offset them.

And two, if you have six grand or more in losses, get a new financial adviser!

5. Donate appreciated stock or other assets. Perhaps you have stock or other property you've held for quite a while. It's grown in value nicely, but it just doesn't fit into your current financial plan. 

If you sell it, you'll owe the taxes mentioned in #4 unless you have corresponding investment losses.

In these cases, and if you don't need the money (lucky you!), consider donating the appreciated asset directly to your favorite charity. That way, the nonprofit gets the full benefit of the donated asset's value and you don't owe any capital gains tax.

You'll likely be inclined to do this if you itemize. That way, you also get to claim the stock's value at the time of donation as a charitable deduction.

6. Time your income. In some cases, income can be delayed. This is a good move if the added money will push you into a higher income tax bracket.

It's also important to keep an eye on your AGI if you are going to itemize expenses. While the Pease Rule that used to reduce your overall Schedule A deductions if you made what the tax code considered too much money is gone thanks to the TCJA, your still AGI matters when it comes to medical expenses discussed earlier.

Also, other tax deductions and credits could be limited if your AGI is large.

The easiest way to keep your earnings down if you're a salaried worker is to ask your boss to push any year-end bonus into the next year. If you're your own boss, don't invoice for recent work until after Jan. 1.

7. Add to your nest egg. It's never too soon or too later to think about how you'll pay for your retirement. This December, give yourself a future gift by adding to your retirement account, be it an IRA, self-employed retirement plan or 401(k).

It might be too late to add to a 401(k) or similar workplace plan, but check with your benefits office just in case.

As for IRAs, yes you do have until next April's filing deadline to put money into these accounts. But the sooner you contribute, the sooner the power of compounding growth starts working for you.

Plus, putting money into your retirement funds could qualify you for the Retirement Savers Credit and it's always good to know about these dollar-for-dollar tax breaks earlier in the tax process.

8. Convert a traditional IRA to a Roth IRA. This is something you need to think about before pulling the conversion trigger. Whatever amount you move from a traditional IRA, where taxes are deferred, to a tax-free Roth account will produce a tax bill this year.

But with tax rates so low, it might be worth the immediate tax bite. And once the retirement funds are converted into a Roth, you won't have to worry about taxes on this account ever again. Plus, with a Roth you don't have to worry about tax rules that make you take out money when you turn 70½ (more on this coming up in #9).

Again, consider any conversion carefully.

You don't have to convert the full traditional IRA amount. Determine how much you and afford to pay tax on this year. Also make sure that you don't add so much retirement money to your overall taxable income pool that you bump yourself into a higher tax bracket.

9. Donate your required minimum distribution. If you have a tax-deferred retirement account, either an IRA or workplace plan, Uncle Sam's patience on when he gets his tax cut is limited.

Specifically, he makes you take out some of this taxable-upon-withdrawal money when you turn 70½. These are known as required minimum distributions, or RMDs, and you must take a set amount that's based on your nest egg value, your age and your expected life expectancy (the Internal Revenue Service has tables to help you figure the amount) in the year you hit that septuagenarian half-birthday mark.

Depending on how much you've saved in tax-deferred retirement funds, your RMD could produce a big tax bite just at that of life where you're looking to spend on your bucket list, not pay added taxes.

If you're lucky enough to not need the RMD to cover living expenses, you can avoid the tax bill by making a direct transfer from your traditional IRA to an IRS-qualified charity.

This transfer method is key. A qualified charitable distribution sends the RMD directly to a charity of your choosing. Since you don't get the money, it's not taxable income to you and your favorite nonprofit gets the benefit of your generosity.

The only downside is that, since you didn't take the money, you can't claim a charitable deduction. But most older folks claim the standard deduction anyway. And even if you could use it and don't with an IRA-to-charity direct transfer, the amount of untaxed RMD probably will make up for any lost tax deduction.

10. Give to family and friends. I'm not talking about that video game for the grandkids or that Apple watch your husband or wife has been hinting about for months. I'm talking the gift of green. Moolah. Cash.

Yeah, I know. Money gifts crass. They also can help with your estate planning.

The TCJA nearly doubled the amount that you can bequeath in death and shield it from federal estate and gift taxes. That same amount also applies to the amount of your estate that you can gift without worrying about taxes over your lifetime.

Before the 2017 tax reform changes, this gift and estate tax exemption was $5.49 million per person. For a married couple, that's $5.49 million per spouse.

For 2020, inflation kicks up the lifetime gift and estate tax exemption to $11.58 million per individual, up from $11.4 million in 2019.

The gifts are not limited to dollars. You can give assets valued up to the limit, such as real property and family heirlooms as long as they are worth up to or less than the limit without incurring any gift tax responsibilities.

Even better. you can use all or part of this exemption while you're still alive. So instead of making your heirs wait until the reading of your will, give gifts against the exemption amount while you're around to see the joy they give the recipients.

I know I loved getting the antique German clock my grandmother left me. Before she passed, it sat for years in storage. I wish I'd know she was leaving it to me or had given it to me when she moved into a smaller place so I could have thanked her.

Any estate exemption left upon your passing then can be used by your heirs to reduce or eliminate any potential estate tax, which is a 40 percent rate, on your remaining property.

In addition, you also can hand out money gifts to your family and friends. There's another limit here, an annual gift exclusion amount. But it's a pretty hefty sum: $15,000 per person for 2019 and 2020 tax years.

FYI, this generosity is NOT limited to family, so if you have some spare cash and really enjoy the ol' blog, just let me know.

Also, here's a tip for grandparents with some cash to spare. Instead of giving your $15,000 gift directly to your grandchild, you can pay a student's tuition directly to the school and not count it as a gift under the gift exclusion rule. The school can be any educational institution, not just college. That frees up more to give against your estate.

Even if your gifts use up your entire exemption, that's not necessarily a bad thing. Your loved ones get your gifts and family heirlooms tax-free early, allowing them to enjoy them (along with you) longer. And in the case of financial gifts or assets, they get the benefit of the gifts' potential growth.

More year-end tax moves: I know. This list is longer than your youngsters' letters to Santa. Sorry about that.

But hopefully some of these moves will make a nice tax-saving present for you. Just remember that in most cases, the tax tasks must be taken care of by Dec. 31 to affect your 2019 tax bill.

You also might want to check out a few more tax-saving ideas in the December Tax Moves over in the ol' blog's right column. They're just below the bright red heading of the same name, just under the countdown clock ticking off the time left here in tax year 2019.

Give all these year-end tax move options a look and take advantage of those that fit your financial and tax situations.

They could provide you some nice holiday tax presents, as well as give you much to celebrate as your ring in the 2020 tax year!

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[swiftiesupportgroup]

I'm a lesbian girl and I really like one of my best friends. I kind of fell for her a few months after we first met and it's been like this ever since. I know she's into girls too, but I'm afraid to tell her about my feelings cause I don't want to loose her if she's not feeling the same. We're texting every day and sometimes it feels like she's flirting with me but maybe it's just typical bff stuff and I'm just interpreting it like such. She's so important to me and idk what to do. Tell her?

Hi there!

Thank you for trusting our judgement and coming to us for advice.

Ok, I see your dilemma and let me tell you, everyone has had the chance in their lifetime to be in the same situation.

I understand that you are afraid to tell her that you have a crush on her - if you were me I would be terrified- but you have to consider that she is your friend above all…. she will understand and value your love.

It is difficult to ponder what to do when you are balancing the weight/worth of friendship vs relationship. Believe me, anyone would like not to risk a friendship over a crush, but sometimes life puts us in certain circumstances when we need to react.

First, it would be advisable to see if indeed you are feeling what you are feeling. I don’t know if I am explaining it correctly, but sometimes we tend to read too much on the reactions towards someone, therefore generating even more confusion.

It is good to take a rational step back in order to “ analyze” your feelings……. it is the first time that i am feeling this way? Have you feel something similar before? How do you feel about telling them? Do they appreciate your friendship and would accept you no matter what?

Once you think that and, indeed, you are not overthinking/overestimating you feelings, we have reach the part to see if you are able to be open about it. Are you prepared for rejection? Are you prepare if she corresponds? Do you feel like, even if she doesn’t feel in the same way, that your friendship is strong enough to go on unaffected? Are you willing to put your naked heart out for this?Yes, that is the most daunting part of the process…. but at the end you might have a better idea of your feelings and how you are prepared to face the situation.

Then, it all relies on your willingness to get the courage to deal and accept the outcome … it doesn’t matter if you are straight or gay, everything will be related to your capacity to handle rejection or acceptance. Being aware of the complications and consequences would help you to make a decision.

I am afraid that, in my experience, that I have been too shy to tell someone - in their face-about my feelings. However, I do appreciate and love when someone, who has built the courage to confess about their sentiments towards me, has made clear their position. I can see not only their honesty in their eyes but also the effort and strength behind their words. I will always be humbled and amazed of their resolve and sincerity.

Someone said that relationships take effort, love, patience and care. If you feel that you are ready and prepared to face a new level on your relationship; that you have enough trust on that person; that you know that you feel comfortable to share you world with them- no strings attached- then go for it; take the risk and cross your fingers…

But if you believe that taking this risk would be too much to handle; just relax and keep going with you life.. there is no rush … you will reach the turning point when you are ready..

This is looking like I am babbling too much, but indeed your feelings are important; and to be prepared to face them is something that you can’t rush over.

Good luck, and whatever the outcome is, we are proud and behind you every step on the way!

If you need to talk more, we always have our inbox opened!

Sending you love and support,

Carolina & the SSG