#you are normal. everyone is different. brains are cool. end of story

[microwaved-cheese-sandwich]

I also have an internal monologue constantly but it's like talking to another person. I mean I'm talking to myself but as if it was another person. So I also think/say "you have to do this", "please be calm", etc .

I thought it was what everyone does... isn't it?

sometimes! peoples thought streams are all different. many people think in first person, some in second or even third; usually ppl use different perspectives at different times. lots of thoughts aren't words at all, just a flow of feelings and concepts. personally I often talk to myself in second person. I also sometimes use 'we', referring to myself as speaker and listener. how and why this kind of thing happens, and how common it is, is probably beyond my expertise. but i promise you are not weird for it lol

[maknaeswrld]

a life forgotten | l.mh, h.js

memories are both a treasure and a curse, and the bliss of them barely outweighs the pain that comes with bearing them

wc: 2.1k

genre: soulmate au; reincarnation au; fluff; angst; poly!minsung x reader

cw: marriage; cheating/allusions of cheating; mentions of pregnancy/parenthood; mentions of food/eating; I’m sure there’s other things, please let me know what you catch🫶 no happy ending for you; memories of past lives in italics

a/n: IN HONOR OF MINSUNG OUTTING THEMSELVES???????? respectfully I have no other explanation, enjoy!!!

Soulmates were an unpredictable thing. Everyone has them, but not everyone meets theirs.

Some actively avoid trying to find them, some do everything in their power to seek them out. You had always been in the boat of knowing it’ll happen when it happens, and if not in this life, then in the next. You had always been at peace with the knowledge that your soulmate was the one person you’re meant to find in every lifetime, so you didn’t see a point in searching for or avoiding them. 

Everyone grew up hearing the stories, that seeing your soulmate for the first time will feel like instant recognition, like deja vu, and slowly as you spend more time together and see each other more, your memories of your shared past lives slowly unravel. You could understand why some would be scared of that, of the knowledge of who you were in a completely different lifetime, but you liked to think it was natural, otherwise it wouldn’t happen. 

You always assumed you’d find your soulmate in a normal setting, meeting on the street or at one of your places of work, feeling the tingly feeling of familiarity and planning to meet up for a coffee, giving it the natural time to build to see if it was actually the soulmate bond or just mutual attraction. You found solace in inevitably becoming a statistic, in seeing your soulmate for the first time and them seeing you and everything happening the way everyone always told you it would. 

But as your best friend was telling you about her current favorite band, listing off members names and facts faster than you could think, swiping through pictures of them all, you felt your heart sink as your eyes met the digital ones of two frighteningly familiar faces, your mind buzzing with soft recognition.

You felt like you couldn’t breathe as you grabbed your friends phone to swipe back to the picture, your brain alighting with renewed interest at the second look of the boys on the screen.

Water surrounded you in every direction, the sounds of laughter coming from behind you. You felt relaxed and happy, your body swaying with the peaceful rocking of the boat.

You startled only slightly when arms wrapped around your waist, a chin propping on your shoulder and a kiss being pressed gently to your cheek. 

“Where is your beautiful mind right now, my love?” 

“Just lost at sea, I suppose.” You laughed, turning around in his arms, one of your hands coming up to cup his face, the other reaching behind him to the other man. “Just thinking about how happy I am.”

Jisung’s smile lit up his entire face, his eyes twinkling as he leaned in for a quick kiss. 

“Come back to the group, love. The boys are going to start their whining if you ignore them for too long.” Minho groaned, squeezing your hand lovingly.

“Just the boys?” You ask teasingly, raising a brow at your lovers, Jisung grinned sheepishly.

“You know how your boys can get.” He waved nonchalantly.

You excused yourself, apologizing for cutting the lunch date with your friends short, but you needed air. Stumbling down the street, you were thankful the place they picked was only a block from your apartment.

The cool spring breeze calms your nerves and clears your head enough so you could watch where you were walking. You stumbled through your door, kicking off your shoes as you made your way to your couch, sitting heavily, head in your hands as your leg bounced.

A path cleared between two groups of people, a beautiful altar covered in vines and wildflowers at the end of it. Everyone present was looking at you, but you couldn’t take your eyes off them.

Jisung had a lovesick smile on his face, Minho’s eyes were shiny with unshed tears. You felt weightless as you made your way to them, being the center of their attention making you feel like the most incredible person in the whole world.

Chan passed you off to them with a kiss to your cheek and a teasing threat towards your lovers, filling in for the father who disowned you for loving two men. They took one hand each, guiding you to stand in between them, all three of you giddy throughout the entire ceremony. 

The rings Hyunjin made for the three of you were intricately beautiful, you saw them for the first time only as they were placed on each finger. 

It was a fairly small and sweet affair, but you wouldn’t want to have had it any other way, everyone that mattered most to you and both of your husbands were present.

The night ran long as your love was celebrated, and ran even longer once you three finally got a moment for yourselves.

You felt numb, staring blankly at your floor while memories seemed to drown your mind. 

“Do you ever feel like there’s something missing?” You asked quietly into the darkness. The arms around you tightened as Minho sucked in a deep breath, you knew he was frowning.

“What do you mean, darling? We have everything we could possibly need or want right here in this home.”

You didn’t disagree. You were happily married to the love of your life, three beautiful children sleeping peacefully just down the hall. You were safe from the wars raging in distant lands, your husband was far from being called to join, but yet you felt as if there was a space that was yet to be filled.

Sighing, you propped your chin up on Minho’s chest, squinting to see his face through the darkness.

“I think you know what I mean. I cannot explain it, but you must feel it too.”

You knew you and Minho were soulmates, you had no doubt about that, the endless shared memories in different worlds proved it well enough, but it almost felt as though that bond didn’t fully seal, despite everything.

“I think you should be worrying more about getting proper sleep so our child you're growing stays healthy than to worry on about something neither of us can actually explain, my love.”

Your hands slid down to your stomach, rubbing it as if second nature. You tried to ignore the pang in your heart now, knowing that what was missing in that memory was your second soulmate.

You got up from your spot on the couch, realizing it was already dark, and stumbling your way to the kitchen to make yourself some dinner.

“You two are never allowed in this kitchen again. I’m serious. How do you burn water?” 

You and Jisung couldn’t stop giggling as you held each other, the both of you also confused as to how you’d managed that particular situation.

“Does that mean you’ll take care of us and cook for us every single day of the rest of our lives?” Jisung asked teasingly. 

“If I did, it would only be to save our house from burning down.” Minho grumbled.

“Awe! Min loves us, Sungie!” 

You and Jisung’s giggles started back up as you both took a side to sandwich your lover into a hug, heart fluttering when he didn’t reject it and instead wrapped his arms around you both to drag the two of you in tighter, nuzzling his face in the nook between you.

“Yes. I absolutely do.” Minho muttered into Jisungs shoulder.

You didn’t think soulmate bonds worked this fast. You were always under the impression that it took time for the memories to surface. You felt dizzy by the non-stop assault, heart swelling with love and breaking with loneliness at the same exact time.

The early morning light cast a gentle glow across the kitchen, the birds were chirping peacefully, and the welcome scent of fresh coffee was filling your house. But your morning was far from peaceful.

You had barely moved from your spot on the couch all night, refusing to lay in a bed that was half empty and unable to sleep while your husband was God knows where. 

Jisung had stormed out last night, leaving you sobbing and took nothing but his keys. You weren’t even certain he’d come back at all unless it was to get his things, and it was honestly your fault.

You had always despised cheaters, they were amongst the worst kind of people in your mind, but when you’d met Minho, he drew you in the exact same way Jisung had. You couldn’t fathom how it was possible, you and Jisung were soulmates, you had loved your husband more than anything in the world, but you somehow also shared all of that with Minho.

You never should have hid it, Jisung was a kind and understanding man, he would have been willing to at least hear you out before leaving you, but instead he found some of Minho’s belongings in your shared home. You tried to explain it to him, but he wasn’t in the mind to listen, just repeatedly asking for your secret lovers name and leaving the second you’d finally uttered it, ignoring your pleading for him to stay.

The wedding band on your left hand felt heavy as you twisted it subconsciously, as if trying to remind yourself that Jisung was still your soulmate and still legally bound to you, you hadn't lost him. At least not yet.

You leaned against the counter, trying desperately to keep yourself from breaking down again as you stared at the extra mug you had subconsciously poured for your husband.

“Can you poor another one of those, Y/n?” You whipped around at the sudden voice, fear and love filling you at the same time at the sight of both Jisung and Minho standing in the doorway, holding hands. “I think it’s gonna be a long morning.”

Grabbing your laptop, you settle into your bed, looking up your best friends favorite band and throwing yourself into compilations of your soulmates. The proof of them being soulmates was glaringly obvious, the subtle glances and touches, the soft looks, all the little things that scream they're in love, you truly couldn’t comprehend how people could look at it and assume it’s all perfectly platonic.

The more you watched, the more you fell into a pit of confusion. You didn’t miss the endless amounts of fans claiming to be any of the members soulmates, claiming they remember things, that if they could just be given a chance to meet up, the members would see. It was glaringly obvious that if you’d tried to reach out, you’d just be marked off as another fan seeking a way in to the bands inner circle. 

Memories continued to interfere with your research on your soulmates throughout the night, in between ‘Minsung’ edits and compilations of the whole band. You could see why your friend liked them so much. They were the type of band with a bond so tight it was obvious their loyalties lied with one another first and foremost. From what you knew of the K-pop industry, that wasn’t standard. 

The more you watched, the more you started to recognize all of them from your memories, not just your soulmates. Tears pricked your eyes at the thought, the fact that this group of souls seemed drawn to each other in every lifetime, and you were supposed to be one of them.

A quick search proved that they’ve talked about it before. Not much, mostly only in small subtle jokes, like one of them saying they all clicked so well from the beginning cause it just felt like they already knew each other. It was never actually said outright, but the evidence that they all knew they were a friendship that transcends lifetimes was obvious to anyone seeking it. 

You could feel your soul longing for its other parts, and you began to wonder if there were more of you out there. Soulmates of your other apparent friends who know exactly who their souls belong to, and know that in this lifetime they are essentially unattainable. Your heart aches at the thought that if that were the case, there are more people out there that are likely extremely important to you that you won’t get to meet in this lifetime.

That realization hits hard. The reality was you wouldn’t meet the loves of your life, you wouldn’t meet the friends you have endless memories with, and you’ll never remember the rest of those friends or get to learn their faces and the memories you hold with them in this lifetime. 

Because soulmates are an unpredictable thing. Everyone has them, but you wouldn’t get to meet yours.

a/n: I’m sorry?😅 I’m really not🤧

Part 2: a life remembered

[girlmartok]

post canon ds9 fic i won't write for real, in bullet points:

story starts with jake sisko, pondering and writing. he got a commission from some federation news service to do a fluff piece on "the soul of the klingon people" now that the war is over and they have a new chancellor, essentially a "look federation people, klingons are still chill. maybe chiller, even. so everybody be cool" deal (i'm imagining they have to do an article like this for every group of aliens that were a major combatant in the war) but jake takes it seriously and refuses to phone it in.

first he goes to alexander, who's visiting the station while between KDF assignments or something idk. but he says look buddy i wanna know what's up with klingons, you get me? alexander does not get him and also would like to know what's up with klingons, so he says hell yeah human friend let's figure this out.

then it becomes a series of vignettes of these two kind of out of touch young people learning about the klingon spirit and also themselves as they seek out someone who can tell them the secrets of life and honor etc etc. jake has a warped sense of normal from growing up on ds9 and alexander has never felt right in solely klingon or human spaces, so they have some gaps in their knowledge to fill.

i'm thinking they start with worf and martok, who are busy on qo'nos building their credibility and new government. worf isn't great at talking about feelings and martok's being pulled in a lot of different directions, so they're not much help. hanging around on qo'nos is interesting, but ultimately not what jake and alexander are looking for either.

then they start thinking outside the box. order isn't important but they start hitting up all relevant klingons and klingon adjacent folk: darok, sirella, ezri, nikolai, kurn, maybe a duras sisters cameo for equal representation of shitty klingons.

last we saw of kurn of course he had lost his memory but since this is my fic i'm not writing i'm gonna say bashir's not as great at brain reconfiguration as he thinks he is and it didn't take fully. so he's a little confused but getting the hang of it. a lot of "which one of you is my nephew again? i can't tell humans apart" kind of deal even though alexander is 3/4 klingon. he tells them what he's re-learned about klingons since he's been rebuilding his own identity.

nikolai also was essentially exiled but it's fine. he's got a gaggle of kids now and alexander and jake have to do the fake forehead thing to blend in while they talk to him. nikolai's got a lot of insight into worf as a brother but not much on klingons as a whole. alexander brings him some pierogi helena made.

alexander: "wow my foster uncle's wife looks a lot like your stepmom, isn't that funny?" jake: "nah i don't see the resemblance"

maybe at this point nog joins them because he's having his own identity crisis as the only ferengi in starfleet so he decides to just hop on board for jake and alexander's identity crisis.

they go see jeremy aster too, the kid from tng who became worf's brother through a whole thing, and he's got a pretty interesting view of klingons and the klingon spirit from an outsider/insider perspective.

sirella and darok are probably the least helpful but i think sirella baby-ing alexander would be fun. they're both trying to deny it and deny how much they like the attention (sirella at having a new-ish nephew-ish and one who wasn't raised klingon so she can do all the classic klingon things with him fresh, and alexander at having a(nother) mother figure to love him). jake is studiously taking notes in the corner while sirella tries to teach him how to skin a fresh kill or something like that.

anyway this whole journey ends with them finding kahless 2 (the clone of kahless) whose only occupation is thinking about the klingon spirit. but his wisdom boils down to "everyone's different and everyone has to figure shit out on their own, but together we can strive to be greater than yesterday" etc etc and jake gets his article. alexander reaffirms his grasp on his cultural identity and also gets to see a lot of his family so he's reminded that he's loved, even if everyone is doing their own thing. and nog develops a huge crush on sirella. everybody's happy.

[the-s1lly-corner]

Hey I have a possibly another, better..? idea👀 it's a Slenderbeing reader! but they like to travel the world, a LOT. and usually in their human form. but they are so in depth with their magic's capabilities it's almost near impossible to detect any magic sauce from them, it's like they are truly a regular human being. until they reveal themselves and give everyone a heart attack😂

The slender reader is also like a runt, they hate the height difference compared to average Slenderbeings, but low-key likes the attention :P

Any characters! Have fun n take your time!! :D

Various characters with a slender-being reader!

Again so so so so sorry for taking so long to get to this :(

I've kinda been mostly checked out mentally this week and the past 4 days spiderverse has taken over my brain and

Sobs

Anyways! Most of these are platonic leaning, but that's mostly because I couldn't think of anything explicitly romantic <\3 these also may be

Short since I'm kinda

Dry brain

No gifs for each character since it lags my phone and I ain't dealing with that rn <\\3

Slenderman:

Head tilt

Of course he knew he and his brothers weren't the only slender-like.. beings in this world

But he didnt expect to see another (that wasnt splendor or trender) enter his woods... that and he also. Never really left his woods save for a few occasions.. never really met another creature like him outside family

Huh

Hes curious, of course! He himself can only talk so much about his day to day life, being more or less binded to his forest.. so hes willing to let you talk his non existent ears off

Likes making crafts for you that remind him of your stories

Doesnt particularly favor one form over the other; though with that said he almost offed you when you first waltzed in, disguised as a human

Makes him realize he... doesn't know how to do that..

Splendorman:

Oooh how cute! You're so tiny!

On the flip side, hes met dozens of slender-beings, due to him bouncing around just about everywhere

Doesnt make fun of your height, bullying isnt cool!!

You both exchange stories about places you've been and things you've done

Sits down and looks at you with so much interest when its your turn to speak

Finds both of your forms adorable

Laughing Jack

"I didn't even know they made them this size!"

Ljs already a little shit, but hes going to be even more of a little shit around you being a runt

He'll try not to take it too far, but hes definitely got a problem with his filter

Due to him being bound to his box and being passed around Lj only has so much experience with different kinds of people

So even though he'll crack jokes and interrupt, he's willing to listen to a story or two

You can still be taller than him and he'll still tease about your runt status <\3

Eyeless Jack

"Oh.. huh.. you're like.. that one guy,"

In my au he lives in the same woods as slenderman but they hardly interact and when they do it's barely civil

Both are very possessive of their areas so... yeah

Asides slender you're the only slender-being hes met; he wont even know you're a runt unless you bring it up

If you do he'll just

Not care, I mean hes short too so??

Has a weird.. vicarious thing going on with your story

Hes condemned himself to being a hermit due to his curse, so he ends up naturally.. doing that with your stories and makes small suggestions on where you should go next

What having your normal life snatched away does to a mf

Masky & Hoodie

"Mini boss?" "Mini boss"/j

Masky is.. well my take on him hes a little.. funky.. bro is likely watching you from a distance and not really.

Interacting

Kinda freaks out when you reveal your true form

Hoodie is a little more tame and open than masky, kinda just

Signs and asks questions but he isnt too social

"Why are you so short??"/j

Honestly I feel like these two would take a long time to warm up; they're already distant enough with slender

Idk, I really dont have any ideas for these two 💔😔☝️

[battlemaiden13]

Okay now I really wanna see you two do a crossovers!!

BUT!! Imagine Skulls(HND MC) interactions with Wine(MAM) and Black(MAM) imagine those 3 and then HND!Wine and HND!Black watching skulls interact with those vers and be jelly??

Ugh you two are giving me so many ideas!! Which is back because I’ve started like 5 stories already!!

~𝒯𝒽ℯℴ~ 💚love both these stories so happy to see you two interact!

Theo! Theo my friend I have so much MORE the brain rot hurts so much!!

Ok ok ok ok so Skulls would be an absolute delight to Wine and Black from MAM. She would flirt with that Wine and be nothing but nice to Black which HND Black gets pissy about and Wine also gets annoyed. Like why is she being nice to them? It's because she doesn't work with them and MAM Wine doesn't try to buy her affection and MAM Black is polite to her. HND would be so jealous you could feel it radiating from them.

Skulls would also feel so bad for using Bear and Sparrows wrong name like one time and then panicking that they hate her so apologises like a million times. Like I've been thinking since it would be hard to write like a hundred skeletons between two authors instead the MC's just swap temporarily. like something with the machine or Error's mirrors and they switch. That way I can be like Mage! I want these things to happen if possible and they tell me what they want Lissa to get up to and we write from the skeletons POV's and then at the end everyone joins up to switch MC's back but like these guidelines would be simple for example one I would love is:

-Skulls hits her head when they switch and sees Sparrow first but weakly calls out Crooks name before blacking out.

That way when she wakes up she can feel super guilty and apologise but also ask like a million questions to see if Sparrow's experience would help Crooks.

and then me and Mage can be in contact like I can be like "How would Lissa react to Nightmare using his tentacles to like move her physically out of the way?" or something that I'm writing or we just write then double check at the end and be like Actually I think Skulls would do this here or that there instead.

OH OH!! we could also have like different levels with request to make the other authors job easier. Like things that I absolutely want to happen, things I think would be cool but aren't necessary and things I'd love to see but might not make sense so doesn't need to happen.

Skulls would have a difficult time adjusting to some skeletons too from MAM like Blue is just different and she feels awkward around Coffee and Wolf because they don't act the same way that her versions do so she feels like she's making an idiot of herself in front of these skeletons she kind of love but also have never met.

Skulls would still gravitate towards Red though as he makes her feel comfortable and she would flirt and just relax around him. I'd love to have like a serious moment with this other version of Red where she serious asks him how would he like someone to ask him out.

Anyway thanks @absurdmageart for the brain rot. Sorry about the rambling here.... I've been thinking about this a completely normal amount I swear . . . :D

[talenlee]

Can a Bird Love A Falcon

Since last year’s Locked Tomb readings got me nostalgic and retrospective, it was only a matter of time before I retreated back to earliest media of my post-cult life, the stuff that stands tall in my mind as some of my first lessons in how to be normal. So I picked the thing with a bunch of PTSD and existential horror.

Let’s talk about the Rachel/Tobias ship.

Spoiler Warning: If you’re ever planning on reading the Animorphs story, this article is going to spoil some events that happen in the last half of it. And since this is about Animorphs I guess Content Warning for war death trauma body integrity horror uh mind control uh cannibalism uh what’s the term for beating someone to death with one of your own severed limbs, that.

That.

Animorphs is a lot.

There’s not a lot of romantic material in Animorphs, but it’s there. It’s almost expertly defined in negative space – the way that actual teenagers consider and tease at the idea of boyfriend-girlfriend-joyfriend stuff without saying it, without any of it being explicit. Like nobody sits down and makes a list of reasons to want to date someone, it’s often just about emotional reactions to momentary stimuli, things that imprint on the brain and are being tested out bit by bit. It’s hard to grapple with for me to get in the right mind space, but remembering the Animorphs characters are, like, fourteen and not Anime-Fourteen but fourteen fourteen is pretty big in explaining how and why they react to things.

In that space, though, there’s the sorta-maybe-hey-thinking-about-it-do-they-kiss romance of Rachel and Tobias. Rachel is a girl repeatedly described as being hot, by her cousin, a tall, blonde girl who also is hiding the instincts of a violent warrior, a girl thrown into a war and commanded to be an adult, and she actually takes to it well. Like, in a different framing device, Rachel is the antagonist of a teen serial killer story. Tobias, by contrast, is what you might these days consider something of a droopy sadboy – floppy hair, skinny, no friends, unappreciated, bounced between abusive carers that aren’t properly parents, and then at the end of the very first story he turns into a hawk, never* to turn back again.

Oh and he’s also secretly an alien prince, but don’t worry, nobody ever tells him that.

It’s not even like it’s a complicated ship, in a lot of ways. As a loser of a boy, it was really just the shape of the most standard fantasy possible: What if there was the hottest girl in the world, who for reasons beyond both your control, had reason to hang out with you, become emotionally invested in you, and then from there, ha ha, you got ’em! You’re basically married at that point as long as no circumstances change the status quo where you get to hang around her regularly!

And then, thanks to you trying too hard and being too awesome, you have to leave your old life behind, embracing a new life, a new reality where none of your responsibilities persisted, your bad family were gone, and you have a reason to be socially connected with four extremely cool people who were probably not really your friends to start with. Oh and one of them is really hot and can kill everyone who bothers you. I mean beats up everyone. I mean she can protect you with her big, strong arms that are also fuzzy because she is a bear, and when she’s not a bear she’s basically Genius Barbie.

From her perspective, she can pick who she likes but instead of a boy who has Conventional Interests and connects to her life, she gets a boyfriend who is a secret. Also, he’s paradoxically, dangerous and very safe; they’re not sexually compatible in terms of their bodies, it’s very hard to argue that Tobias is interested in her because of her body and how their bodies relate. As a romantic partner, Tobias has to be interested in her for herself. At the same time, he’s a goddamn hawk, and hawks are really cool and badass and scary, and she can have him cruising around on her shoulder like she’s a pirate.

I obviously liked this ship as a kid because both of the halves were hot. It wasn’t just that Rachel was gorgeous but also that Tobias looked really good for kissing, and that meant they’d both have a fun time kissing, right? Obviously? This is a very straight way to consider ships, especially ships where I both wanted to be and kiss Tobias. Because again, he was hot. Right?

The canon of Animorphs actually deep-sixes the ship, early and late. There’s a middle period where the ship can happen, but there’s an after and a before, and the before is ‘when Tobias and Rachel barely know each other.’ They do eventually get a chance to do more conventional ship stuff – like holding hands and kissing – but that’s See, and I know you might not remember this: Rachel dies. Her last book is her relating her story, in her dying moments, to a god-figure, and there we get one of the enduring quotes of the series:

“You were brave, you were strong, you were good. You mattered.”

And before that quote, Rachel, reflecting on that moment, says that Tobias would not have let her get into the position where she was dying. He wouldn’t, because he loved her. And that’s some nice ship material but it would be nicer if it wasn’t happening as a character is dying.

Now you might think, hang on, this is a het ship. That’s not what I normally talk about around here! And you might be surprised, but consider this. This is a woman, and the lover who she cannot touch, who she cannot embrace, because there is a wrongness to it. The body of that lover does not properly align with their identity. The girl is positioned forever stand at a love that expresses itself through mostly, not expressing itself.

An eagle and a girl, is that not, itself, yuri?

Okay, I know it’s not. Personally, I have very little patience for ‘ah, two unrelated things is yuri’ jokes because it’s a wheelie everyone pops but also because, like, yeah, maybe it’s great to capture all the metaphorical ways we’ve suppressed women’s relatoinships but also maybe you could have them like hold hands and say they’re interested in one another. Like, that’s an option. Imagine if more yuri felt they could do that, even. What a world.

But anyway, thing is, Tobias, as a character, is a figure Important To The 90s Trans community, along with other such icons as Bugs Bunny and Ranma Saotome. There’s a fairly common thread through Tobias’ narrated books where he reflects on a determined tragedy (who he has been told he has to be) and the freedom of change (as being able to freely choose an identity and presentation through morphing). Applegate has been pretty clear that whatever vision of the characters’ sexuality and gender relationships work for you are effectively canon – they’re characters shared through the experience of reading and all that.

I’m not saying every nonbinary or trans kid from the 90s will respond to ‘Thermals’ and ‘Cinnabunzzzzz’ but a bunch will and it’s a trend worth noting.

Check it out on PRESS.exe to see it with images and links!

[lara-cairncross]

Hi I did not expect to be hit with this much nostalgia for pixie hollow fairies lol

The way you draw them is so pretty!?!?!?!?! I love their designs so much

I'm considering drawing fanart now, especially since I saw the suggestion of drawing my personal OCs in your fairy au, and I realized.... I have an oc. That I created recently. Like so recently that I haven't even named her yet. And she's already kinda fairy-like??? She's the result of a one-night stand between Leo and a random bird yokai who decided to dump the egg on Leo (it's the accidental baby acquisition trope except its more like you-really-should-have-expected-this-leo baby acquisition XD)

Don't worry though, she's not bird-like enough to want to eat your fairy boys if she met them. She's basically just a feathered turtle who loves shiny things, and I haven't even finalized her design but now I wanna draw her as a fairy haha. I do know her feathers are blue-purple-pink-ish with red streaks, so her colour scheme matches Fairy Leo haha

Hmmmm maybe I should actually put a question here uhh....

You keep hinting at plot points but you've also said you don't plan on making this a comic, so are we ever going to find out what the heck is going on???

And I know the idea of making a whole entire comic can seem overwhelming, but have you considered viewing it as just doodling and practicing? For my own au comic I only have one part drawn so far and it is the first part, but I'm planning to just draw any part of the story at any point in time, just depending on what I feel like. Cuz no one says you have to do it the "normal" way, right? And I like to think of drawing the comic pages as practicing new skills, like learning how to do page layouts and composition better. Aka focus on the journey and not the end goal.

Whoo, that got kinda long and I only really asked one question, but based on previous asks you've answered I have a feeling you don't mind ;)

OK that was entirely just stream of thought after going through the whole au tag (there are more thoughts but most are incoherent and overlapping so this is what i managed to pick out of my brain), but to summarize: I love your fairy au and the boys are gonna be living in my head now, along with every other version of the turtles that I love <3 <3 <3

I'm glad to hear you're liking the fairy au!! I had a ton of fun coming up with their designs :D

I do actually plan on making this into a comic of sorts! I dunno if I could ever make, like, a long-form webcomic or anything like that-- but I'm definitely planning on doing at *least* a few mini-comics to elaborate on the story! And maybe build my way up to something longer and more fulfilled :D As of now, I'm trying to experiment with different comic styles on my own time so I can try and find something that's quick and easy, but still looks decent. I like the idea of treating it as essentially a glorified doodle page. Honestly, as soon as I try to take any of my stories too seriously, I burn out fast-- so I'm trying to stay pretty chill about this one and just making content whenever I feel like it lol

Yup, I'm totally cool with everyone drawing their OCs as fairies if they want to! It's not like I own the idea or anything lmao. The only caveat is that I have jurisdiction over whether or not something is canon to my particular au. Leo and the rest of the boys are still canonically kids/teenagers to me, and I've been writing/drawing them as kids this entire time, so I won't be including anything/anyone related to one of them having a "one night stand" with somebody. I can't really police what anyone else draws though, so have fun :D

Sorry about these little guys buzzing around in your brain ❤️💜🧡🩵

[tibby-art]

OH BOY ALRIGHTY time for brainrot (long ass ask incoming) im basing this off like. nothing but yk <33 assuming scars crew is boatem, i refuse to believe hed let them die in ANY universe. (death games and worlds with respawn is a different story) so like. what if it was flipped? what if boatem was alive, but scar was the one who "died" there was probably some altercation, he went overboard, somehow managed to dimension hop before going back on the boat, boatem thinks hes dead because impulse checked and hes very much NOT THERE meanwhile, scar (and jellie. cant forget jellie) ended up in an altered season 8. moon big doesn't happen, seasons longer, its not a simulation, so on and so forth. tycoon scar (who im dubbing tycoon for ease) greets scar, is sort of aware that its another one of himself, introduces scar to his "tycoon emporium" (swaggon) and makes an offhand comment abt how he didnt know there was a new member, and how he found that odd scar isnt having it, he just wants info on his family, and get out. plus cool hat. uhhh murder, servers a bit glitchy and fucked bc theres two scars so whoever leaves/dies first gets permadeath, yippie angst, moving on (scar jumps in the boatem hole, and next universe) this sort of thing continues, scar can't control universe hopping, but like. he can actively do it via dying in a vast space/clearing (the void, drowning and falling are. surprisingly reliable) he ends up at psmp, it reminds him of home (it's not home. he knows because everyone except him are humans. pure humans were a rarity in his universe. yes this is an excuse to make scar some sort of parrot (who cant fly, dude has no tail feathers and his wings are itty bitty)) scar does this thing where he lies with mini truths in it. or he lies and you have to just 180 the meaning. so that's what he does with his backstory. safety and survival baby, he can trust basically no one. uhhhh silly detail: he WAS rich in gold coins in his universe, but uhh currency is translated differently in psmp so now hes dirt poor lmao sucks for you buddy

something something the universe said i love you -tn (in no world this is canon but it feeds the brain worms so it does its job. im normal about him)

OOOOOOOH this is so so true.... the reason he seems kind of unbothered about losing his crew could be because he thinks they abandoned him, not realizing they think he's dead the thing about him telling lies with mini truths in it is also so true, it think he'd do that a Lot, it's the easiest way to lie and keep track of your lies ALSO THE GOLD THING WOULD EXPLAIN WHY BRO WAS FLABBERGASTED AT THE INFLATION OF THE PSMP ECONOMY LOL

[iantimony]

a day late because yesterday i was tooooo busy! some spoilers in here for dungeon meshi and saltburn!

listening: mostly background stuff. i still haven't played more nier: automata but the boyf got me listening to the soundtrack and it whips.

reading: more tgcf at night to soothe my frenzied brain to sleep. i finished dungeon meshi yesterday!! i did cry!!! it was so, so good, i loved it. i really liked that there was no set antagonist, per se, at least not until the very end with the fight against the winged lion, it was all just a bunch of characters with different but justifiable goals that had their aims all butting up against each other. very cool. i love kabru what a little shit

a collection of some good screenshots:

watching: many things this week. my partner is visiting for the week and we like to have videos on while we're cooking n eating so we watched...essentially the entirety of weird history food channel, started with the trader joes one and spiraled from there.

we also watched the currently-released episodes of dungeon meshi. very charming. i cannot wait to see how they animate certain scenes.

on sunday night we did a friend dinner, so me and my boyfriend, roommate and hers, and one other friend; after dinner we movie night-ed it and watched saltburn and blazing saddles:

saltburn was insane! apparently there is shock and alarm at the sex scenes, which i am not very online about it so i have no idea what people are actually saying but imo it was not that crazy. there is a solo, uh, let's call it Moment towards the end of the film that is pretty out there, but besides that the sex scenes are the least of anyone's worries in this movie. it took me WAY too long to realize that the main character was the antagonist, i'm normally pretty savvy to those kinds of twists so that took me off guard. my roommate had seen it once (or even twice?? i think?? i have no wish to watch that movie again, good for her though) and i didn't start clocking it until immediately before felix tricked oliver into going home. as they were in the car i was like "there's no fucking way that he lied about his family to felix. right. right??" oops. some good cool symbolism in there, i had a bit of an xkcd "of course everyone knows this myth" moment when my roommate was like "huh i wonder if there's a symbolic reason for the bull-man statue in the maze at the end, or felix's angel wing costume" and i was like surprise pikachu. the minotaur, the labyrinth, icarus, hello? wdym you don't know the story of the minotaur??? much to think about with this movie. i searched it on tumblr and feel like a lot of people missed the point in favor of blorbo romance but like, fair, it is the blorbo romance website. 8.5/10.

blazing saddles was our palette cleanser after that doozy of a film. my friend said at the end "anyone who thinks this movie is racist needs better media literacy" and i'm inclined to agree. yes the n word is in there - but the people saying it are so unambiguously depicted as insanely stupid and wrong, and the leading man is a charismatic handsome black man, and tbh the smartest person in the movie? arguably more homophobic (the end scenes) than racist but even then the way 'f*ggot' is deployed hit me like modern tumblr humor.

idk. even though it's a comedy it is Very clear to me that a message from this movie is "Racism Bad". i thought it was fun, didn't find the blonde lady's musical number very good or funny, got a few chuckles out of it overall. classic mel brooks. 7/10.

playing: wizord101.

making: started experimenting with english paper piecing! i forgot to take a picture yesterday so ill try to remember and add that later today. or maybe for next week's post. also started a pair of fingerless gloves for my mom

eating: my boy made us all a budae-jjigae type object on sunday and it was so so so yummy - photo from before simmering for like 30 minutes, with pork belly, spam, tofu, and a bunch of mushrooms, grunions, and kimchi:

before my roommate came back from a conference we did this cabbage and thin-sliced hotpot beef thing that was. so fucking good. we had it two separate nights in a row. just layering meat and napa cabbage and then cutting into ~2in strips, laying them in a pot, filling the center with mushrooms; make a broth of soy sauce/dashi/misc soup stock powder from leftover ramen, pour it over, simmer til cooked baby. delicious. this image is a little steamy bc i tried to take it right after opening the pot, lol

misc: wough. struggling to get back into the routine a little. i need to make more spreadsheets for my agonies (apartment hunting and determining what internships/programs to apply to for this summer). and i need to start using my planner again because i keep forgetting to do shit.

[kaheeliez]

Hello SPG enjoyer! I was inspired by someone new to a different fandom I was in reaching out to people on Tumblr to get to know them. So now I’m doing something similar since I’m new to SPG!

Have you heard of/listened to The Mechanisms?

What is your favorite album/song?

Which bot is your favorite?

What is your favorite photo?

Do you have a fanbot?

If you could go anywhere in kazooland, where would you go?

- @steambot-sparky

hello!! thank you for the ask :)!!!!

1. i've listened to a couple of mechs songs!! i need to listen to more. i've listened to half of UDAD and a couple miscellaneous songs (pump shanty, loki, our boy jack, lost in the cosmos etc.) also i love their designs so much they're so cool looking. especially ashes i love them

2. favourite album is for sure 1896 (closely followed by mk iii) it's so so good and full of absolute bangers. favourite song,,, i have so many but on a crescendo, i'll rust with you, the pulls, intertwined, on top of the universe (steamworld heist), latum alterum, transform, bad days on the horizon, the ballad of delilah morreo, the suspender man... etc. i will start listing the whole discography if no one stops me

3. RABBIT!!!!! she's so silly. would do anything for the bit. but her story and character are so incredibly tragic and ougjhhghgj i have so many thoughts about her. and her tendency to carry all the people she has ever cared about with her in her music. and the fact that she still feels guilty about the 1950 incident, which wasn't her fault in the slightest :( her ever-shifting design. AND HER SONGS. so many emotions. i think about rabbit a normal amount.

4. i have so many favourite photos. i have an entire folder on my laptop of every single rabbit design chronicled by date and show for drawing reference. JKHSDF i'll put some standouts from the many photos i have accumulated under the cut:

they're like overly affectionate cats. spine's on the opposite end of the cat affection spectrum

PLAYING HIS SPINES LIKE A XYLOPHONEJKHSDF RABBIT LOOKS SO GLEEFUL

it's me boy i'm the ps5 speaking to you inside your brain

she's so proud of herself

chelsea patting an inflatable palm tree and the spine looking at a tiny beach ball very fondly

5. i kind of have a fanbot? but she doesn't really count i think sjkdhfs. when i first got into spg it was through honeybee (like literally everyone else). and i decided to for some reason read all of the lore before listening to any other songs. and i also decided to design honeybee as a robot rabbit might have fallen in love with (and subsequently broke up with). it turns out honeybee has a canonical design i think - if the cover art of honeybee is anything to go by. oh well. i still like this funky bee bot design. maybe i'll design an actual fanbot someday!

here she is. there's a lot wrong with this drawing, looking back jksdhf like her wonky left eye

6. i would go to snornia. i'd probably get eaten instantly but big magical creatures,,, and legend has it there's a certain pink dragon princess there!

[sizzleissues]

How'd you like the movie?

Hey anon!

In short: AHAHAHARRRAHAHHAHAHAHAAHHHAHA LOVE LOVE LOVE IT

Slightly more coherent

Animation: Amazing spectacular- can’t wait to see it in theatres.

Music: I love the songs so much it will be interesting to hear them in english. The visuals paired with it are also just beautiful. I’m a fan of musicals normally and the movie does have the sort of cheesy vibe that comes with musicals that i just love but isn’t for everyone.

Story: Can’t say much on this as I don’t speak French and the subbed version I watched was not perfect. Generally it kept me engaged (which is a credit to it) and I’m sure when the english dub comes out it will clear up some confusion for me.

Okay spoilers stuff under cut

So again, the subbing being wonky makes things a little harder to understand. It feels like I’m missing something, like a ten minute chunk was cut from the film. It’s fine for miraculous fans- we know the context- but for newcomers something is missing. Maybe it’s just lost because I don’t understand and the quality of the audio but I hope the dub has explain the basics dialogue bit.

Miraculous:

I love how the miraculous were depicted in the film while a little confusing at times. The signal thing when out of costume is a cool idea (though I hope it’s a thing only they can see >-<). I also really like the focus on their powers working better when working together. When they go solo things go array.

It seems the lucky charm is gone and instead Marinette simply is always devising a plan with all of her surroundings. We don’t get to see her problem solve in the movie, most of the combat is purely physical which I think is a miss. Maybe in future movies she’ll discover the power and we’ll get to see her use her brain.

Same goes for the cataclysm though it appears at the end. Again I can’t be sure until I watch the dub since I might be missing things. It backs up the theory it’s something they have to discover. Chat Noir using it at the end is fine for regulars but newcomers might be confused. LB also learns to use the cure at the end so I think things just work differently in this canon and I’m excited to see how it’ll play out.

I think some of the issues with the miraculous will be resolved with the dub- definitely missed something. But I think we need to remind ourselves it’s a different canon with different rules. Just because they’re different doesn’t mean they’re bad.

Love the costumes anyways and the speckling on Chat’s suit is so cool. The power seems to be more within the holder. Also the miraculous choosing the holders- and the chaos of that scene- was amazing. I like that the miraculous are magnetised to them and it takes a whole lot of power to tear them away.

Also Hawkmoth taking advantage of the fact he can do multiple akuma’s as an adult really makes him a threat. He’s a lot smarter in this version.

Characters & Relantionships:

Every character is a bit different but I still love them all a whole lot. I love that Adrien’s a bit more of a loner but it’s Ladybug that opens him back up to people again. I don’t have any complaints just positivity to how the movie interprets the characters. This will probably grow once I understand everything.

The only character I’d say is better, not just different is old man Gabe.

Gabriel is more focused in the movie- more clearly being won over by the power. Losing himself to it. It’s destroying him but he’s addicted to the possibility of having Emile back. He thinks that’s what will mend his and Adrien’s relationship when all he really has to do is be there. It’s better than the show as in the show he’s pursing Emilie despite Adrien- actively shoving him to the side with malice. In the movie he’s doing it because he believes having Emilie back will restore light back into Adrien’s life that he doesn’t think he’s capable of showing towards Adrien on his own. He’s scared if he’s close to Adrien he’ll see his sadness and thinks it’s because he’s lost his mother- not because he’s losing his father too. Seeing the pursuit has actually hurt his son snaps him out of it. He finally meets his eyes and sees not sadness for Emilie but sadness for losing him. AH! Its too much I’m melting

Going over the zag offices right now to punch whoever decided to cut at the kiss. I NEED MORE. The love square delivered so well that I’m so sad there isn’t more!

Lol that’s my thoughts so far. Bit more than you probably expected but needed to get it out before I fall asleep

[alltimefail-sims]

LORE TIDBIT TIME WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Did you know Vlad was apart of the settler colony who mysterious disappeared? This is obviously a nod to the Roanoke colony which I think is sooo cool. What do you think happened to Vlad's colony? I like to think Vlad was turned or became a vampire and whipped them out.

HELL YEAH LORE TIDBIT ABOUT VLADDY DADDY!!! 😏

I'm going to treat this as a "deep dive" into Vlad and Forgotten Hollow, so I'll be adding it to my Deep Dive Series tag. Unsurprising to literally everyone, but this is gonna be a long one.

So… let’s get into it! ↓

Going into this I will admit that I actually did know this about Vlad!! I've been wanting to talk about it for forever but have never gotten around to it haha. 🤭 I'm a bit of a history nerd and I love a good spooky story/conspiracy, so naturally the Roanoke Colony was one of my obsessions when I was around 11 or 12 years old.

I think it's an interesting tie in from the sims team, I'd even say it's a bit meta because I feel like the game normally sticks to making references toward itself and its own canon characters/events while generally staying away from anything that would be too direct of a reference to "our world." Personally though I wish they broke the fourth wall more! I like easter eggs or hidden details that make it easier to imagine the characters existing not in their isolated, imaginary worlds, but in ours instead.

It's interesting to think about why the sims team might have made this connection - was it just a cheeky, unserious little wink to a well-known unsolved mystery, or was it done for the purposes of creating implications and expanded lore regarding Vlad and Forgotten Hollow (a case of them showing us instead of telling us). There are so many theories archaeologists and historians alike have had about the lost colony of Roanoke over the years: some believe the Roanoke colonists could have all died by disease or famine, some believe they could have been victims of a deadly storm, some believe they were attacked by neighboring tribes or by Spanish soldiers. Nowadays there are scholars who will argue that no tragedy befell the settlers at all and that they simply relocated (that would be why they left "Croatoan" behind - there was a nearby location referred to as Croatoan Island, now modern-day Hatters Island).

With that in mind, along with Vlad's own refusal to recall the details of this event, it's safe to assume that the sims team isn't referring to the happier Roanoke theories...the 25 colonists of Forgotten Hollow likely faced an unfortunate end.

Your theory of Vlad being turned and thus wiping out the colony (I'm guessing due to new-turn bloodlust) is sooooo compelling, the implications of that scenario are delicious and I personally never thought of it from that angle! My theory is only a little different: I agree that Vlad was turned on the day that the colonists "disappeared" (whatever that implies), but I have always played Vlad's story not as if he was turned and then killed everyone after, but rather that the thing that turned him successfully killed the other colonists but accidentally turned Vlad. It's a really long story that I play around with for fun in my brain but the short-ish version is: Vlad awoke outside - cold, alert, sweaty, dirty and covered in his own blood - but somehow alive, which he was thankful for. His new immortal condition is still unbeknownst to him at this point, but he felt an ache like never before, so deep in his bones it was excruciatingly painful, but his senses were heightened tenfold. He didn't remember much, just that the colony had been under attack the night before. His relief to be alive rapidly melted into abject horror as he found everyone else (friends, neighbors, family, children) dead. He realized soon enough what had happened to him and stayed in Forgotten Hollow where he would be memorialized as its "founder." He spent his days hellbent on retaliation and retribution, but was also steadfast in continuing the work that was began there before the attack. Eventually he does get to face off with the vampire who attacked him and his people, killing it and rising to power in the vampire world. He keeps the events close to his chest because they were traumatizing and cause him sadness, and he's worked diligently to remove himself from his humanity/human memories and from emotions in general (thus how he has become the person we see today). I always thought if he killed the colonists himself the other vampires in his circle - at least his closest confidantes - would know (as he's got quite the massive ego), but they don't seem to have knowledge of this event and they never mention it. I've thought that it could be possible that sharing the memories of this event would make Vlad feel weak, and he's not one to boast in his weakness. He'd much rather rewrite history in a way that is beneficial to his image; dragging up emotions about dead people would not bring them back to life, and by burying this history of a massacre in Forgotten Hollow he is also creating some mystery around himself and making it easier to play the role of a great-great-great-great grandson (or whatever he's pretending to be, relationship-wise) to the original founder.

But that's just how I play with Vlad! 🤷 I could be way off-base lmao!

Regardless of what happened, we know Vlad is the sole survivor of this event and he is scarred by it, impacted so deeply that he only ever vaguely alludes to it with no clear explanation. Whether he killed the colonists himself or just witnessed their death, the sims team will probably never give us concrete answers (and frankly, that's probably for the best considering their track record). But the clever connection of the LOST colony and FORGOTTEN Hollow are clear as day and I just think that is freaking cool! The occult lore in TS4, especially regarding Vlad and Forgotten Hollow, make interesting framework for storytellers and lore-lovers alike! Vlad is one of those characters who has sooooo many interpretations, and I eat up each and every one!

Okay, I think that's all I've got for now! Sorry about my word vomit! Somewhat related: here's an article I recently read on Roanoke that talks about the archaeological finds which have changed some of the discussions surrounding whether the colonists survived or not! I found it pretty interesting and you might as well!

[zeawesomebirdie]

Going insane in your askbox again <3 true friendship right there. Anyway so you've probably noticed I am so so into Baldur's Gate 3 right now so I just want to let the thoughts out in a discombobulated fashion. There are no fun parallels here (or are there? I think I can do fun parallels) this is just word vomit because I can't play the game until either my dad finds a way to let me play from across the Channel or until Christmas. Because I couldn't bring my good PC all the way to England and my laptop sure as fuck doesn't have the specs to play it. So.

I don't know how much you've seen of it but one of my favourite things is explaining media to people in too much detail so I will pretend you only know that there's hot characters in it. It's an RPG based on the D&D system (and set in a D&D world) where you're an adventurer kidnapped by one of those yucky psychic-powered tentacle monsters, a mindflayer. You and the whole ship of kidnappees have those nasty little mindflayer tadpoles inserted in your brain (like in TCW on Geonosis, this time it's through the eye), and even though you blow up the mindflayer ship and save yourself by the end of the tutorial, that little tadpole is going to make you into a mindflayer in a few days (that's how they reproduce). So you embark, originally, on a quest to not transform into an actual monster, and it all spirals from there. On the way, you get to meet other people who have common interests with you, the main ones being six other people with a tadpole in their brain, who can team up with you & become your companions because they also don't want to become mindflayers, but there's also lots of cool NPCs of course.

The game plays pretty close to actual D&D, if you've played it/seen people play it, so there's all the classes (except artificer alas), the spells, the combat is turn-by-turn, and you roll dice for a lot of stuff that requires skills. There's a lot of options for how you play things, dialogue, actions, etc, and it doesn't feel as "good normal thing to do vs the most cartoonishly cruel thing ever" as a lot of those immersive RPGs do (it does sometimes but way less). The story looks pretty insane from what I've seen trying not to spoil myself too much, and I say that in a very positive way.

And okay, I'm going insane about the story, sure, but mostly it's the companions. The main six are really fleshed out and interesting, their voice actors all did a great job, their writing is great, and they're so so compelling aargh. In order of when you meet them, we have... 1) Lae'zel the Githyanki, a race of alien looking green guys from a different plane of reality with a very warrior culture. They have a deep hatred of mindflayers, so Lae'zel is extremely intense about finding a cure for the tadpole issue, and they're very ferocious, so she's pretty abrasive if you haven't befriended her. 2) Shadowheart the cleric, who's a bit racist at first to be honest, and very mysterious... In part because she doesn't remember much of her life, in part because she's secretive about the bits she does remember. Then the next two are in the same area and you can see whichever first, but 3) Gale of Waterdeep, the scrungly wizard, and yes he really is so scrungly. Wizards in D&D are the spellcasters who weren't born with magic but who studied it and who owe their powers to hours of reading books, consequently he's kind of a nerd. He also asks to eat your magic items pretty early on because he's got a condition where he needs to eat magic or bad things happen. 4) Astarion, my beloved, the pale elf, the vampire spawn. Yes, him, you know who it is everyone posts about him and they're correct to do so, I mean what's not to love? He's a vampire, he's hot, he's judgy and flirty and fucked up, his morals are atrocious, absolutely great character. 5) Wyll Ravengard, the Blade of Frontiers, a charming knight in shining armour type, who given his skill with a rapier you'd think is some kind of fighter, but actually he's a warlock with a patron who's both hot and suspect. And 6) Karlach (pronounced Kar-lack, not Kar-lash), a tiefling with a burning engine for a heart and the nicest personality of any of the companions honestly. She's tall, she's strong, all the lesbians want her, and because of the engine-for-a-heart thing she runs really really hot and subsequently she can't touch things (or people) or they burn.

That's the main guys, which you can also play as if you want (but it's not the best idea for a main playthrough, you're better off creating your own adventurer and then maybe on a second/third/etc. playthrough trying one of the origins characters, or the Dark Urge, which, that's something else entirely, ignore that). They're all interesting and fun and I want to do their quests so bad and I would romance all of them at the same time if I could, but alas they're not all into polyamory. My first run is 100% going to be romancing Astarion, because I love them all but I am positively insane about him.

Now I've tried not to spoil myself too much but let's be honest I still managed to, so, eh, but it's more like sunlight through the leaves of a tree, there's still a lot of shadows, I just have a clear-ish picture of a certain amount of stuff. From that picture, I'll say that I love interactions between the companions especially, like I find all the similarities and differences between them so interesting, and the different relationships they could have fascinate me.

For example, and yes I have Astarion tunnel vision, there's an interesting dynamic with him and Wyll, or him and Karlach, there's room for fun stuff with him and Gale as well, and honestly if I knew Shadowheart and Lae'zel well enough I could say there's something there as well but I don't - except that Lae'zel and Astarion are often together in the morals thing. Oh yeah there's a companions approval thing, so sometimes when you do an action they'll approve or disapprove, and it's weighted based on how important the issue is to them. Lae'zel approves of violence, Wyll approves of helping people, etc. Well Lae'zel loves violence, because that's her culture, and Astarion - also likes violence lol, and he doesn't like stopping to save all the pathetic lifeforms you encounter. So in that way they're both focused on the goal, curing themselves from the tadpole, unwilling to stop and help every damsel in distress, and they think the best resolution to a conflict is someone's blood outside of their body.

Shadowheart and Lae'zel have this hate relationship where at the start of the game Shadowheart is kind of against Lae'zel's people (kind of rightfully so, their reputation as fierce warriors who'll destroy anything as long as it means getting rid of a mindflayer isn't exactly wrong), and Lae'zel isn't nice to anyone but especially not those who antagonise her (and people love to make them fuck about it, which. Yeah. Yeah, make them fuck about it). Karlach is part of Wyll's backstory, he was meant to kill her because she killed people but you can like, smooth things over and uncover truths or something (I haven't played that part yet!) and she can join your party and it's good now, but there's a connection there. I'm trying to connect Gale to someone but honestly I don't know now that I think about it, I need to look into him some more he's so fun to me.

But you could argue that there's things that they all have in common - I feel like, off the top of my head, they all have this authority figure who sucks in their life? Gale has Mystra, the goddess he follows (followed?) who apparently sucks violently as a person, Astarion has Cazador, the vampire who turned him and abused him for centuries, Shadowheart has I think Shar, her goddess, Wyll has Mizora, his patron who's hot and shitty, I mean she's a warlock patron, Karlach has I believe Zariel, who - kept her trapped in one of the nine Hells?, and Lae'zel has whatever the fuck is happening with the Githyanki and their queen Vlaakith which honestly sounds like a shitty cult. Like they've all got fucked up authority figures <3 it's different flavours, like Astarion and Karlach actually have a fair bit in common with the way they were treated (but they're opposites in the way they reacted, which to be fair they weren't in the exact same situation so y'know - Karlach is joyful and passionate and pretty straightforward, Astarion is sarcastic and secretive and guarded, and also he approves of you letting children get hurt), or Gale and Shadowheart who both have religion/deity issues, and Wyll and Karlach share a person from their past that sucks, but like. Lil group of fucked up homies <3 I can't wait to hold all of their hands while we decimate whoever hurt them.

I'm not kidding btw there's a scene at the start where you can literally crush the skull of the mindflayer who abducted you (off screen but it does make a crunch) and I can't wait to do the closest thing to that that the game will allow to Cazador :) I think I'm also going to have a Reaction to Gale's storyline but I've managed to keep the details fuzzy for now so I don't know more.

So hi this is me chewing at drywall desperately waiting to get to play the game <3 how's it going in DC land, having fun with all the Robins? I personally think you should look at Gale a little, he has a vibe in common with Obi-Wan (the "looks like an english professor, is actually pretty slutty" vibe) and also he says pish posh unironically and he wears pyjamas at camp (everyone else just takes off some layers and looks kind of dressed for the club, he full on gets the velvet pj top out, it's incredible). Though Wyll is also very charming, like I keep going on about how Astarion is incredible because of course I think that, and Gale has the nerd charm, and next to that Wyll looks a little Less (and he has hours less of content I think), but the man has a charm. And the ladies are great too, it's just that you're less into women, but -

Oh wait I forgot to say: you know how in D&D there's 6 stats, strength, dexterity, constitution, intelligence, wisdom, and charisma, and the highest any of your stats can be at character creation is 17 and the lowest is 8? Astarion, unsurprisingly, has an 8 in strength, he's a rogue, it's normal; Gale also has an 8, but he's a nerd who loves books, so that's fair; and Karlach and Lae'zel both have 17 in strength, because they're great warriors, so that tracks. Shadowheart has a 13, which is fair for a cleric, and Wyll - Wyll, even though he's great with a rapier, is a warlock, and warlocks cast with their charisma, so it's not his highest stat, but it's fine, it's not going to be the dump stat either, right? Wrong. 8 strength for Wyll. It kills me every time. You've got those three women, two of whom could snap you in half and the third who could probably win at arm wrestling against random men, and three men, all with 8 in strength. 8 for an adventurer is pathetic, to be clear. 8 is your dump stat. The human average is 8 or 9. Adventurers are well above human in terms of stats. 8 in strength is normal for a wizard, but man, Wyll on his own, but also the combo of all of them having 8 in that one stat? It kills me.

(for the anecdote, their stats are roughly as follows: Astarion has an 8 in strength and a 17 in dexterity, normal for a rogue, and only 10 in charisma, which is truly enough to get him into bad situations and not enough to get out of them; Gale is a squishy wizard who, obviously, put all his points into intelligence, which - in D&D intelligence is book smarts and wisdom is street smarts, and it's the casting stat for wizards, so that tracks, his charisma manages to be higher than Astarion's also; Lae'zel has a 17 in strength and an 8 in charisma, which also tracks, she's a warrior and she doesn't need words to make people pay attention to her, she's also got a good constitution; Karlach also has the 17 strength, but her 8 is in intelligence, normal for her background and normal for a barbarian, and she has the same constitution as Lae'zel, a respectable 15; Shadowheart has a 17 in wisdom, which actually shines an interesting light on her character now that I think about it, and she's got the same 8 in charisma as Lae'zel, which, they should kiss about it; and Wyll's 17 is in charisma, which makes him the most charismatic of the group, which tracks with his vibe and the way he behaves on top of making sense for game mechanics, because once again warlocks cast with charisma. This game is turning me into a D&D player the way 3½ years of my bestie talking my ears off about the TTRPG didn't)

Actually I didn't even get to the fun point of Karlach and Astarion being contrasts in so many ways!! Because she's nice, he's mean, okay, but also. They're both kinda touch starved, but she's once again very open about it, she's overtly sad she can't touch people or pets because of her burning skin, and it feels like if you helped her with that she'd be trying to start a cuddle pile every evening at camp with zero shame about it, and also apparently there's a horny aspect to the no touch frustration thing if you're in a romance with her, because you both want to go for it but her skin says no. Astarion has spent 200 years obeying every order of a very cruel vampire lord, and he's both kind of desperate for someone to be nice to him, but also really really against people getting close to him in every sense of the term. He does also like cuddles though <3 and then there's the Wyll-Astarion thing, where Wyll is this very prince charming kinda guy, saves the widow and the innocent, just goes around helping people all the time, absolute bleeding heart, and Astarion spent 200 years suffering, hoping that someone would help, and nobody came - which is part of why he disapproves of you helping people, seeing people be so nice everywhere makes him mad, because he certainly didn't get any kindness for most of him life! You're saying that there are kind adventurers who help poor victims of fate, that there's actually a lot of those guys, it's just that none of them crossed his path, ever, in 200 years, when he was one of many and his sire is somewhat notorious?

Actually, thinking of that, there's a dialogue with Gale where Astarion says that the others can go pray to their deities if they want, but he won't, and Gale asks him if he's every prayed to any of them. He just goes "oh, I did, every one of them. None answered" and like. Arghhhh. The god worldbuilding in those two sentences!! Because there's gods of lots of things in the setting. Gods of the forgotten, the downtrodden, the victims, the abused, and the implications of that!!! I love the idea of deities actually existing, but them being both very human and also completely inhuman. Human in that they are Like Us, prone to the same fits of temper, the same cruelty, the same extremes as us, including also kindness, but inhuman in that it's pushed to eleven and distorted, because they're not actually human, either they never were or they aren't anymore. This shines a light on the human facet of them, because here it's about people, even well intentioned, kind people, turning away from suffering because it's complex and nuanced and difficult to help. Astarion was a vampire spawn, and he'd done terrible things, and his master was powerful, so... The gods are like us, they look away from pain and misery too. Insane sentences. Especially because the other gods we see also suck: Gale's goddess seems very shitty, and Shadowheart's also looks uuuh bad. I love the "gods suck" because in D&D lore those aren't just the christian god, they're kind of human, and a little bit of greek mythology vibes I would assume, and for real some of them just ascended to godhood from humanity, it's a thing that happens. So. Yeah. Sucks for Astarion obviously but that makes my brain effervescent. It's so crunchy for the worldbuilding. None of them answered..... Chewing on drywall!!

ANYWAY this is a BEAST holy shit. I have many thoughts about this game. Crunch crunch crunch. Good night beloved sleep well thank you for at least reading the unhinged ramblings, when I get the game I'll be back with even less hinges <3 can't wait for the wedding I'm going to be honest <3 <3

Ram my beloved. This is me rn:

Thank you for the hinges in my inbox!!! This was a delight to wake up to!!! No I don't understand at all but I am loving this for you!!!! May you get this game soon!!!!!!

(And thanks for all the context, like half my dash is this game and I think my boyfriend is playing it but I have somehow remained Unknowledgable about everything, so I appreciate it!!)

You asked how things are going in DC land. So. Funny story.

I'm still recovering from covid, like I'm negative now but by the Force I'm still so sick. I can't write. Like at all. Like I can't even tell you the last time I was too sick to write, it never happens. So my current fanfic reading word count is a 1.5 million words in the last three weeks. And I now have plans to make a rec list. And that's not even all!

I've also written three folk songs for superbat. Because I am Totally Normal about themb. I have spent the last several months trying to write songs In General and then three weeks of covid later I have three. About stupid idiots being in love. Because I'm Clearly Normal about them. And I low key am now just going to write a whole entire album because why not, and because none of the songs are explicitly fansongs they just sound like normal folk songs, so who's gonna know but me anyway (and all of tumblr. Bc if I manage to finish this thing I will never shut up about it)

AND. And I've also watched several movies, and started another TV show, exclusively so I could understand more fic. And that is. Going. My parents are very confused. The librarians probably get a kick out of my requests. My brothers have already started teasing me. I am having the time of my life

Also Dick is my favourite character, he's beautiful and wonderful and such a good oldest brother I love himb he is baby. I'm still working on learning about the other Robins, but I've read enough fic and seen enough comics to know sort of who the others are, it's just that my interest in things tends to fall in the pre-90's category, which means Dick is the only Robin for a lot of what I'm reading/watching

I love you, I hope you are enjoying your weekend and you and your hinges are always welcome in my inbox <3

[kahluah]

Okay, let's pretend for a moment that everything in Ruby Gillman: Teenage Kraken is exactly the same, but instead of krakens and mermaids, there are just normal people of two different races. Do you realize how iffy the statement "well, it doesn't MATTER if one race is pure evil and the movie comes off as incredibly eugenics-y, it's just set dressing and not the primary focus!" sounds in that context?

And plus, it's a pretty well-established rule in writing that if you're going to introduce worldbuilding into your story, you're going to be expected to elaborate on it. If the film was just trying to explore a young girl's adolescence and relationships with the adult women in her life, why even bother throwing in all that stuff about mermaids, krakens, and the war that broke out between them?

Ok but here is the thing, they aren't just regular people of two different races. I understand why it's the first thing people's brains are jumping to since we've had many movies recently who explore race through a lense like this, but that doesn't mean that is what this movie was doing. If you break it down to basics, we had a conflict between two differing entities. So how about, as another pretend moment, we view them to be regular people of two different political identities. Political parties usually have some sort of symbol, so it's not that far of a stretch that a movie could have their characters be representing that. And I'm saying this because people have no difficulties writing some political parties off as pure evil; I think we all agree that nobody should side with Nazis and that they should be wiped out. Tories and Republicans are also very much hated, especially on this site. I think most people can find those views understandable for writing someone off as evil; we do it all the time and we fully believe it's correct!

So you could also totally view the movie as a commentary on two different monarchy factions, one where the Queen did not want to expand her kingdom to the land outside her borders and pretty much let her subjects live their own lives, all she wanted was to wipe out the other potential Queen and her supporters. Said other Queen wanted to invade the land outside the borders to expand the kingdom and wished to rule over the people with an iron fist. While I'm not for monarchies in any way, I know I would prefer the first one over the second if I had to choose between the two.

You are the one conflating it with race when it doesn't have to be. I get it's easy to jump to, but that does not mean it's the intent. There are multiple ways it could be viewed. But all of it would just be conjecture because that's not what the movie presented itself to be about and we don't have enough info on the world to make any solid say about anything.

I can understand a disappointment in there not being more world building, it seems like a cool world to explore, but the reason the movie didn't was because it was not necessary for the story they wanted to tell. I'm sure everyone would have loved more info on the war and whatever is going on in the ocean in this world, but all that was not needed for this movie and so it wasn't put in. Wanting the movie to go into unnecessary detail of background info that isn't needed for the story is just entitlement. The war served it's purpose of being something that gave Ruby a goal and objective that led into the "twist" and climax of the movie. It was a vehicle to move the story along and that was all. They don't need a deeper reason to add krakens, mermaids, and a war other than "they sound cool" and "more movies aimed at younger girls should totally end in a giant Kaiju battle". It's frustrating, but sometimes that's just the way it is.

I also find it funny that people are soooooooo latched on to the "Krakens were trying to genocide the mermaids!!!" when Nerissa was trying to do the exact same thing to the Krakens. Pot, meet Kettle. So sure, let's say it was a race and eugenics thing, but at the very least don't be hypocritical by saying the mermaids were any better.

[patrickerville]

how do you feel when (or i guess if, because i don’t know how much fan content you see) people describe feeling vaguely religious towards s11? i think it’s in a similar way to how you’ve described dr. eleven’s story as being godlike, in the way that religion is just a guide on how to live better. i think it’s so cool how, in the show, kirsten and tyler interpret the graphic novel as a kind of religious text, and viewers feel the same way about the show itself. in a normal and not-insane way. (although i definitely did feel insane for a while there until i read what you’ve written about the show, which proves to me that obsession about threads and parallels and metaphors is just a byproduct of how good the story is.) anyway. this is kind of an abstract question but i’m curious!

Any way I answer this is gonna make me sound crazy, so I’ll just try to answer 🤣.

My experience of making this show did not feel like “authoring”; it consistently felt like discovering something that was already there.

My own personal level of obsession went to a place that I think seemed and felt like a kind of madness— and this was true even for the people deeply buried on the creative alongside me, who themselves were all a bit mad, too.

Because of the absolutely bananas way we ended up crossboarded and shooting out of order, as well as shooting in two different cities, as well as shooting DURING a real pandemic (but starting before one)… well, I think there was a period of time where my own brain disconnected from linear time, and I was existing in a fractured and totally alien state. Kind of me, but not me. I would talk for a long time and then realize everyone I was talking to had no idea what I was saying— I was leaping around between multiple episodes and switching from theme to character. It was… a lot.

I didn’t go crazy, but I went half-crazy, maybe, and the help and understanding of many beloved collaborators kept me tethered to the ground, too. So did the actors, who by nature just can’t exist in an abstract or nonlinear space while working on a specific scene. Thank god for the actors.

Finally, without getting too into the details, I also suffered what I would call a sudden collection of traumas— a number of bad things, but all of them largely centered around my sister being diagnosed with cancer— right before we started shooting. I started Day 1 of shooting having slept only a couple hours in the week leading up to that day, and I didn’t see my sister again, or know she was going to survive, for a full year after that day.

Amidst all this— every day I’d go watch something astounding happen, on camera. Every day felt like the world just kept showing me it’s most beautiful things. I think THAT kept me sane and okay, actually.

All in all, it was a holy and formative time for me, personally, and so the experience fans are talking about, when they talk about that feeling, is (I think) one I know, too. Not because I created it, but because the show made me feel it, too. I was looking for a reason to love life, whenever I was at work. First it was because my sister was going to die, and then… well, during the pandemic, it felt like everyone was going to die.

I loved it.

[mlobsters]

supernatural s10e19 the werther project (w. robert berens)

tw suicide (much later in the ep)

so as i watch the tail end of e18 again, i didn't have the energy to mention yesterday but we're just taking it as fact that the Mark is a curse? because rowena told crowley that, who in turn told dean? when we know that rowena is tricksy and aware of crowley's apparent weakness for dean, and that she's a witch that surely would also like to get ownership of the biggest baddest grimoire in town

maybe we should stop and think for a minute, i know deteriorating-brother makes all higher brain functions come to a screeching halt but hang on a tick

is this another hunter origin story situation? was that the men of letters logo thing, must be. i had to go and mention my wondering about stuff smoking in and out, now we've got some yellow smoke business

laughing at this goofy phone text interface screen. dean going alone to kill a vampire nest seems unwise on many levels. feeding the marky mark bloodlust, being dangerous for one person, etc

had to use that as the title image, sam's "you couldn't have waited??"

LOL amazing. no notes

DEAN But I did. It’s done. Come on, man. It’s the only way I can take the edge off. I’m sorry. I don’t always like to wait around for you, especially with you looking at me like that all the time. SAM Look at you like what? DEAN Like that. Like I’m some sort of a-a-a diseased killer puppy

if it walks like a duck.....

DEAN You know what, man? I’m sweaty and I’m covered in vamp juice. Can we just talk about this later? I’d like to get back to the bunker, get my buzz on, and, uh, you know, pass out watching “Speed 2 – Cruise Control.” We cool?

i like how dean smacks him in the chest so hard (for no reason) that sam grunts and winces. WE'RE COOL, DEAN, YOU'RE CLEARLY HAVIN A NORMAL ONE

(nevermind me not telling you about cas and metatron, or not destroying the book, or working with rowena to decrypt the book, or......)

maybe smack him again, dean. harder

DEAN WE HAVE TALKED ABOUT THIS. at least get out of your jeans and get under the covers. like, you showered and changed into more jeans with the plan to fall asleep watching a movie? not okay, my dude. you wore sweats in the last episode, i know you have them!

feelin guilty enough to say something yet, sam???? (course not, go sneak off to do sneaky research with your cute sidebangs)

eyes glazing over at olden times men of letters story, as ever

this bad boy visionary with his killer box reminds me of the dude that was collecting shit that had the.... first blade? whoever the fuck that was. was it a different dude? ugh. lol. same dude.

HEY that's the episode with the other microsoft surface product placement that i was fucking looking for the other night

genuinely got a little scared for sam there for a second. that very relatable feeling of getting caught doing something (even if it wasn't wrong what you were doing) with someone who is unpredictable and maybe violent; which i unfortunately also have firsthand experience with. they played that kind of sinister music, dean's acting more demonic, etc.

DEAN Well it looks like I, uh, I’m here to save your sack. Look, you were right, okay? I shouldn’t have gone off solo like I did. It was stupid. SAM And? DEAN And selfish. It was a douche move. If you’re doing this case by yourself to teach me a lesson, you don’t have to, okay?

don't like that kind of music fakeout but am appreciating they're having him be very not-demonic straight away to reassure my frazzled nerves

SAM We’re Men of Letters. It’s our legacy.

snorted. so cheesy and i don't think dean or i give two shits for that excuse. but also! very bad sam for continuing to lie. *fetching the squirt bottle*

this lady's voice sounds familiar

OH MY GOD. haha she was in the episode of star trek the next generation where they're on this planet where everyone is all half naked and dtf and happy and then wesley crashes into a garden or whatever playing future-space-football or something and it's a transgression punishable by death!!!

LOLOL the "aliens" outfits are I C O N I C and she's one of them! also iconic wig

star trek: the next generation s1e7 justice - brenda bakke as rivan

SUZIE Uh, tall, white fella. DEAN Uh, huh. SUZIE Pretty hair.

i think the hair teasing is usually overblown because it's like oo hair that's longer than 4in, it's girly! but this haircut and styling in the back is very feminine bob and it does not mesh with how it looks in the front or his general vibe

no idea what's going on. but if they're hallucinating their extra bad feelings, dean's are purgatory? not say, 40 years in hell? -_- wanted to bring back a purgatory actor and not a hell one? :p have to create something for hell and we can just dick with the coloring in the woods and be in purgatory? it is very pretty though and i like this shot, it's pretty creative

SUZIE Lot of good “sorry” does me. Look at me. Look….at….me. [She points to her corpse.] There she is. The first casualty of your misguided mission. But what’s another human life to you? Anything’s worth it, as long as you two make it out alive. And how’s that search going? Any closer to a cure? SAM This isn’t real. You’re not real. SUZIE You think Dean’s the wild card, the loose cannon. But don’t you see? Making deals with witches, opening Pandora’s box down there? You’re the reckless one. You’ll do anything to keep clinging to that doomed brother of yours. How many more will die, Sammy?

this should hurt. it's very cutting, his brain yelling at him through this hallucination. but there's just too much shit happening and you need more of a setup than this, in my opinion, to get those feelings to really land

dang benny, lookin good! i like the hair and swagger

so tiny and her wiggly dance, could just stick her in your pocket

twist her arm

okay see. these have the chance of landing and cutting deep. we have a connection to benny, we know dean and benny's connection is strong (within the bounds of a not-sam relationship). we can hear his deep down fears through benny's voice and get caught in them just like dean might

BENNY “Need” and “Want” are just two different things, ain’t they? It’s all a figment, right? You, me, left right. But no matter which way you turn, you keep ending up here. You gotta wonder—why this figment? Why this place?

(why me?)

DEAN What are you saying? BENNY Nothing you don’t already know. This is where you wanna be – you’re happy place. And you don’t really wanna leave.

with your sam-replacement

SAM The blood of our own. Men of Letters blood. Legacy blood. My blood.

snort #2

damnit. this episode should have come with a big fucking suicide warning placard at the beginning. i have a close personal loss to suicide and dean's self destructive bordering suicidal history is always hard but this straight up not only discussing his desire to have sam and cas kill him but leading him to the conclusion that it would truly be better to kill himself, and knowing this is exactly the kind of thing he would believe is way too much for me and i'm gonna skim the rest and end this here.

editing, for my own reference, lines at the end.

DEAN That says something, doesn’t it? Werther splits us up in there. Within an hour, we’re both on the brink of death. Sorry about yesterday, going rogue on you like that. SAM You know what, Dean? Don’t apologize. I… I think that makes us even. DEAN The universe is trying to tell us something we both should already know. We’re stronger together than apart.