I've come to the conclusion that loving young royals doesn't mean I can't be critical about it, maybe especially bc I love the show so much I have such strong feelings about it, good and bad and I can love parts of canon and agree with it and appreciate it but I don't have to love it all. I have accepted that it's okay if I don't accept the ending and I don't have to force myself to support it. It's okay to not agree with all of canon and it's okay to not side with all of the creators' intentions/views. Loving a show doesn't mean you have to take everything the writers say on face value and that's the only version that is allowed to exist. Canon isn't everything and fandom is about curating your own experience that makes you happy and not miserable. You don't have to dismiss canon in every aspect and ignore it entirely, that's certainly not what I want but there is a fine line between being canon respectful, allowing some parts to exist and sometimes, yes, you just have to say "fuck canon" and move on for your own sanity and wellbeing
The concept of queerbaiting annoys me. I was told that it refers to a work of fiction pretending to cater to a queer audience but then pulling back from it to avoid alienating homophobes, which is an incredibly specific thing. But a lot of people seem to think that it instead means "any time there's any gay subtex, metaphor, or ambiguity" or "whenever something from 1995-2012 was being a normal amount of homophobic for the era."
me internally when i’m trying to respect and recognise that my dad has unaddressed autism that impacts the way he handles social interractions while also trying to not just excuse the shitty insensitive behaviour that has absolutely contributed to my mental health issues
hannibal nbc is such a weird lil series when you considered that when it got aired, the trend in early 2010s tv shows are mostly detective series like csi, ncis, the blacklist etc
it's even hilarious when i'm reminded how hannibal did start like a proper crime thriller tv show at first, like i still remember when i watched the pilot on tv for the first time, i thought "hmm this looks like the other tv shows but damn they presented everything in such weird ways"
then season 2 aired.
like, season 2 really changed everything, i can't really call it a crime procedural tv series anymore at that point, it had already morphed into something hilariously very distinct from that first episode aired in 2013
When I was younger I loved the science fiction, supernatural, fantasy genre. Who wouldn't? Escaping to worlds where so much more is possible, escaping to a place where lots of things from our world don't exist. Not the same way at least.
Yet I would read these books and I couldn't connect with the mc and their love interest because it was always a mlw relationship. More times than not I took notes on how the m was acting and how the w reacted to it. How gay of me.
With age and school I had to distance myself from books and I ended up missing it a lot- saved money, sure, but those worlds were so special.
Then c*vid happened and I had more time on my hands and I picked up reading again! I fell in love with the scenes being painted across my imagination. But... again, I wasn't connecting, not the way my now very out self wanted to connect to them. I even picked up a gay werewolf book! Sure it wasn't wlw but gay AND werewolf? Why not?!
And well... I remembered a lot of gay books are weirdly fetishized. And I got angry.
Which leads me to the part that connects to First Kill. Because you see, I wrote a book. Its nothing grand, I've only finished the first draft, and if it gets published, it'll be a self publish.
But First Kill? It reflects everything in my book. There's a lesbian lead who falls for, not a hunter, but a girl! Both first kill and my book have creatures and urban myths that are a lie. There are lots of differences, but at the end of the day both stories are LGBTQ+ media that is drowning in supernatural content.
I love first kill because I wrote my book to have media I'd never seen before! And first kill literally HANDED me said media on a plate and said "dinner is served".
I feel like it's a silly reason to love a show so much, but it's one of my reasons. I love it because it gave me content I craved to see so badly I wrote a book about it. I love it because the little girl who thought she was messed up for liking girls is now in her 20s and seeing lesbian media normalized.
AND YOU KNOW WHAT?! imma say it.
I love first kill because when Imani and Sarah Catherine kiss, its so believable that if I had had that type of representation when I was younger, I wouldn't have doubted my ability to find love.
Anyway, first kill might be cringe but its everything I've ever wanted in a show. If it gets canceled I might simply wither away.
I have yet to keep inspecting the sweepstakes, I need some air and food first, but I might as well share what I've been thinking about Mike today, because I heard of an interpretation saying Mike was a camera man for Spamton which ... Is very interesting. Like for me this makes me think of Mike as someone who admired Spamton, someone way smaller than him, definitely younger imo, who simply excitedly followed along with the orders given. I mean, up to a certain point. I mean this feeling is reinforced in the q&a when asked about Mike, that makes Spamton get very defensive, almost protective. In my eyes it almost creates this almost platonic familiar bond dynamic whatever. But like this is just a shot in the dark, bc what we know is, 3 lines, period. But if when chapter 3, 4 and 5 come out and Mike is there and I'm right about these things then I'm gonna feel like a god tbh.
JO: Well, what do they look like? DOCTOR: Well I expect myself their basic form is analogous to a cephalopod. JO: What's a cephalopod? DOCTOR: An octopus. I thought you took an A-Level in science. JO: I didn't say I passed. Urgh, an octopus. DOCTOR: They manifest themselves as a disembodied, mutually telepathic intelligence. JO: But if they're disembodied, how can they hurt us? YATES: They make themselves bodies when they need them. JO: You mean like Frankenstein? - Fun quote from S8E1 for you