#you dont deserve whats about to happen to you

[pinkandlilacroses]

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Angel - Paige bueckers

part 3

• summary {when an unsuspecting girl falls for the basketball star}

• warnings {drug use, angst}

• comment if you would like to be added to the taglist

bella’s pov

“ok you can go now” she says, emotionless

“oh”

“i mean, no offence but i have a girl coming soon, so you cant be here” she says laying on her back, breaking our eye contact

i don’t respond and put my clothes back on. this is fucked

“have a nice night”

i haven’t cried this much in months, walking through the halls, ugly crying.

‘paige’ has been blocked by ‘bella’

“bella whats wrong” avery says, empathetically

“i hate her, i hate her so much” i cry, barley being able to choke the words out

i look at avery after my response and i have never seen her that angry, there could fully be steam coming from her ears.

“please dont talk to her, please dont hurt her, please avery, please” i cry out, begging the infuriated girl

“why not bella, she deserves it” she yells

my tears dont stop and i feel like they will never stop pouring.

“tell me what she did”

i begin the tell her the events of tonight and her anger only grows.

“that fucking bitch” is all she can say in response

“but i blocked her, and im literally never gonna speak to her again” i say, trying to make a positive point, to counteract this negative situation

“you are never gonna speak to her again”

“im gonna go off to bed”

i feel broken, i got used. i wanted my first time with a girl to be meaningful, i know i like girls and i wanted to prove to myself that having sex with girls wasn’t wrong, but i feel wrong, i feel gross. i cant believe i would let myself be that vulnerable with someone i barley know. ive never been the one to have one night stands and ive only ever had sex with someone ive been in a relationship with.

i take my valium, something i swore to never use again after getting addicted, but its the only thing that works.

“hey, how are you feeling” avery ask’s, genuinely. i’ve never seen her be this gentle before

“wheres my weed”

“bella no”

“shut up avery”

i walk to the kitchen and unlock one of the drawers, and i see the stash. thank god

i know i shouldn’t smoke as a coping mechanism, but its the only thing that works, every time something bad happens to me, i turn to smoking

after going through 3 joints, im barley able to talk or stand up. perfect

knock

ugh

knock

fuck off

knock

“who is it” i say, it barley even sounded like words

“its azzi, is avery here”

who the fuck is azzi

“avery theres a bitch here for you” i say taking another drag

“oh my god! hey azzi” avery says, excitedly, why the fuck is she acting like that

“why are you so fucking happy” i ask, knowing full well how rude i sound

“this is azzi, shes in my psychology class and we have gotten pretty close” avery says, grabbing azzi and sitting next to me on the couch

“yo dont sit on my shit” i say, mad

“your bella right?” azzi says, happily. i hate happy people

“yeah”

“yeah avery’s told me alot about you” she says

“cool” i reply, dryly

“azzis on the basketball team” avery says, my eyes widen

“of course she is” i say, sarcastically. i hate basketball

“yeah, have you been to any games” she questioned, attempting to continue this boring conversation

“nah, i dont watch basketball”

“oh well you should sometime, avery keeps saying how she wants to go to a game” azzi says, looking at avery who begins giggling. sus

“bella your probably friends with some people on the team” avery says

“you wanna hit” i offer to azzi

“nah, i dont smoke”

“boring” i say, bluntly

“do you guys mind if some of my friends come over” azzi says

“no, no, thats perfectly fine” avery says, looking at azzi. basically eye fucking her

“who” i ask

“ice, kk, aubrey, nika and ashlee” she lists

fuck my life. im to high to care

“yeah whatever” i say, lazily

“ok perfect, ill tell them to come” azzi says, excitedly

“are you sure” avery whispers to me, being nice. for once

“i dont give a fuck, its fine” i say taking a drag

im so high. god damn

10 minutes later all of azzis friends turn up, why are they all so tall. what the fuck

avery introduces herself to them and points them to our couch

“hey im kk, your bella right” kk asks

“yeah im bella”

“hey im ice”

“hey im nika”

“hey im ashlee”

“hey im aubrey”

to many people to remember

until

“oh paige came to, i hope you dont mind” azzi says to us, mostly avery

avery says nothing, myself included

“hi paige” avery says, extremely cold

“come sit guys” azzi says, breaking the silence. i wish i wasn’t so high cause i wanna go to my room

everyone sits on the couch, paige sitting the furthest away from me. funny. not funny. not laughing

conversation begins and everyone is involved. everyone but me, ugh i’m so uncomfortable

paige keeps looking at me, and yes i’m noticing because i’m looking at her to.

paige’s pov

fuck. why do i keep looking at her.

she blocked me last night so obviously shes mad about my actions last night, its just a hookup, nothing more.

its not that deep

“i’m going to bed” bella says, slurring and barely able to stand up. i didn’t know she smoked that much, i guess i don’t know anything about her. but i don’t care.

“paige are you ready to go” kk and ice say to me

“yeah, aubrey, nika, azzi, u ready to go”

“yeah lets go”

“actually im gonna stay” azzi says. sus

“buy guys” is said in unison

azzis pov

“ugh finally” avery says, while smashing her lips onto mine

A/N: im being active rn lolll. how do we like avery and azzi

[strawglicks]

hi i think its rlly nice that, despite what Misty's been through, she keeps a mostly positive mindset and keeps trying to make friends. and i think its underdiscussed when it comes to them

misty is known as being tragic and sad and lonely, and while this is true, they also try to stay optimistic. despite their past with Barnacle Bessie and other suits, they continue trying to reach out and make friends.

When the toons first approach her in her battle, she invites them to learn Ip Dip with her. And at the end of her battle, she says she "hopes to share that pain with someone like you". She remains hopeful for friendship and connection despite what she's endured.

But i think this persistence can also be very harmful when she's desperate for that connection, shown through her relationship with William. They haven't left him alone, to the point he's claiming to have been harassed and stalked by them. Misty's desperation for friendship and connection has caused them to hurt other people, and I dont think that should be ignored either.

Misty deserves friendship like any other, but the way she goes about it can be harmful to both herself and the people around her. But her desperation also makes sense when you see how often she is turned down and rejected, for reasons she doesn't seem to understand (hence lines like, "I've done nothing wrong" and "I want to be friends with you toons. I don't see why it can't happen". They don't seem to fathom why toons and suits cannot be friends, despite the obvious war going on. They're very focused on themselves and the pain they've endured that they fail to pay attention to OTHERS' pain. Others like the toons and William.)

[samara444]

when shifting/manifesting starts feeling like a burden/chore.

forcing and trying and wanting to manifest and shift is sooooo hard. i know. its so burdensome, it feels so pathetic, every night trying and wishing and still never having. giving ur so called best but getting no result in return. its heavy and it weighs you down, especially if you have been doing it for years.

but…..no one is asking you to carry this burden. i will say it again, NOOO ONE IS ASKINGG YOUU TO CARRY THIS BURDEN. no one is asking you to TRY to have, to FORCE yourself to feel good, to forceee it to happen. u do not have to affirm a million times and visualise and saturate and meditate and climb mount everest.

it drove me insane everytime i read a shifting success story and all they did was put on a subliminal roll over and they so effortlessly woke up in their DR. i used to try sooo hard oh my god, i used to affirm all day and force myself to count to 100 and stay still, and reach the void and feel good and match the frequency and ugh its just so. much. effort. and then i would wonder how they could shift so easily without doing anything and im here trying so hard without any result.

it took me a while to realise, but efforts is not equal to results. fulfillment is. belief is. more your efforts and “hard work” and “trying” is not equals to success. but more ur belief and trust and faith, more your results.

so many people think of it once and forget about it, i struggled with that for years because this is something i want soo bad how could i have “forgotten about it”, but the truth is you dont have to forget and force yourself to let go and then feel like shit if you dont…..as long as you know its done.

no one is asking you to try so hard, even with the LEAST amount of effort, in the most insanely easy that it seems unreal, the easiest and the most effortless path is what you deserve. let this burden down.

this preconceived notion that society has enstilled that the harder you work you happier you will be. let thatt go. and accept that if you already had it….why would you affirm a million times and force yourself?? it would be effortless already because its already yours. YOU choose. you choose if you have to climb mount everest to shift, or it can be as simple as one affirmation and then waking up in your dr.

give it to yourself. let it be easy for you. And stop trying. have faith that if you have asked it once and given it your all, its enough. living in this conviction and staying true to the unseen is the way to all miracles.

-love, sam <3

[venus-celestial]

Did I fall asleep in the middle of writing and completely forgot to post when I finished why yes yes did

Do I have any idea what to do for day five no no I don't

But anyway here's day four of @nestaarcheronweek with the prompt lover

Sun kissed

Nesta looked at herself in mirror and felt well.. Many things warm nice and maybe slightly nervous for what was happening tonight

it be the first time in a year and a half she would see the night court again and she was nervous especially considering her current attire

It was nice a was a knee length dress with a short v-neck it was white with gold accents detached sleeves and a two layered skirt her hair was down within small gemstones woven In

and sitting atop her head was a golden circlet with a amber gemstone in the middle it was undeniable where and with who she now wished to remain

Gods she was a nervous wreck as she looked at herself in the mirror she looked like the lady of day and if her beloved had anything to say about it which he did considering he was the fucking high Lord she would be

but despite everything he had done for her still did despite his countless words of affirmation and love and the way he looked at her life she was the sun itself she still felt like she was not enough

She was not enough Elain not enough for Feyre not enough for the rest of the redt of the inner circle and never fucking enough Cassian

If she wasn't even enough for a general how was she ever going to be enough for a High Lord the second most powerful High Lord no less

What if he grew tired of her what if found another what if he saw what the night court did what if agreed whatever insults would get thrown her way tonight what if he sent her back what if-

"Sunshine?" The voice broke Nesta From her spiral she hadn't realized she'd been having she quickly turned her head to Helion was entering the room his face concerned

He quickly made his way over to her and cupped her face in his warm hands "My love what's wrong why are you crying" he asked thumbs wiping at her cheeks gods she hadn't even realized she'd started crying

"I-I" She didn't have words to describe her fears her worry so she said the only thing she could think of the only thing she wanted "P-please D-Dont leave me" it came out choked and desperate

Helions heart broke and he quickly scooped her into his arms as she devoled into sobs that wrecked her entire body

He quickly walked over to bed sitting down and cradling her head against his chest as he rocked her back and forth making quiet shushing sounds to clam her

"Sunshine Nesta My love I'm not going anywhere I'm not leaving I promise" He soothed "Darling tell what happened what caused this is it about the night court coming tonight" he asked

"What if I'm not enough for you" Nesta said through tears "what if I'm as horrible as they say I am what if I deserved their treatment" she paused "What if I don't deserve you because of it" She breathed voice pained

Helion had never wanted to murder a group of Fae more then he did right then but right now his Nesta his lovely strong beautiful Nesta needed comfort.

He gently kissed the top of her head before pressing a sweet kiss to her lips and whispering "You do deserve to be here with me my Sunshine" He told her softly

The words made Nesta cry harder "But you're the High Lord I'm- Helion cut her off "Perfect" He said simply "Beautiful Smart Strong" he continued "and I don't care what the Night Court says otherwise"

"You deserve the world my sun and I'll spend everyday giving it to you" He said "You are everything I want and I'll shall make you my High Lady someday" he promised.

Nesta's eyes widen at those words her breath catching "Won't I-" she was cut off

"No I already have you you'll only have to take a vow my love" He said softly "This what we have is right and I don't want you to question it ever" he said

"I want you as you are as my wife my high lady as my everything" he said gently.

There were few words Nesta could come up with on the spot that would fit as she looked into his and saw nothing but love she smiled

Helion smiled warmly his fingers carding through her hair he kissed her forehead again.

"Now" he said "Shall we go show the night court what they so foolishly lost" He asked kissing her nose voice teasing Nesta giggled

She nodded leaning closer into his warmth he wrapped an arm around her "Yes yes let's" she said and as they made their way out of the bedroom to face the night court Nesta's heart was full and warm

That's all I hope you enjoyed this ship probably has like 2 shippers but I am definitely for it

Also it was originally supposed to be sumt but I decided to make it fluffy and hurt/comfort instead

As always please ignore any spelling mistakes and have a lovely night

[godofdystopia]

Man I'm actually glad people are waking up to the fact this show is going to be a dumpster fire for whoever they cast as Hermione

You know none of them bitches are going to defend her from HP fans being shifty about her being black, or being anti-slavery

[eternallovers65]

Just saw someone on Twitter complain about the lack of Japanese people in Oppenheimer, and what did you expect??? Did you want the final act to be the bomb dropping and see people burning alive???

The reason why we don't see a Japanese perspective is because one, including a Japanese perspective, just to see how bad the suffering was would be exploitation. Two, to see an accurate and sensitive take on how the japanese felt about Oppenheimer, Christopher Nolan (as incredible as he is) isn't the right person to do this. And three, it's based on Oppenheimer's biography

Oppenheimer, the movie, literally shows you people (mostly the superiors, because by the middle/end of it you see Oppenheimer regretting his creation) doing something dubious and inhumane because they removed themselves away, both emotionally and physically, from the people they are hurting.

Nagasaki and Hiroshima only exist in those men's distant thoughts and imaginations. One guy literally asks to take a city off the bombing because that's where he had his honeymoon. It's disturbing and unsettling, as if those people were not real human beings. The lack of Japanese people drives the entire point home.

Also, Japanese cinema is right there. Barefoot Gen, Grave of the Fireflies, or Hiroshima (responsible for showing to many Americans the effects of the bombs for the first time) are just a few of the many, many decades of post-war Japanese movies we have

[luck-of-the-drawings]

"I think this is the most inhuman; and human, that I've ever felt.." MUCH CAN HAPPEN IN A YEAR. IN FIVE YEARS. A DECADE. imagine how much can happen in a century. just ONE (1). How will you grow? what phases do you find? even in 5 years, you will find patterns.

[topaziraphale]

"Stop saying Crowley won't help Aziraphale in S3 he'd go back to him in a HEARTBEAT and nothing would stop him" I get it no one likes the idea of Crowley being bitter after what happened for a long period of time but like can we at least acknowledge that he's currently going through probably the most emotional pain in his life since falling? Can we agree that he's opened his heart entirely - something you couldn't pay him to do unless the world is literally ending and he's desperate - to Aziraphale, and got shot down? Can we understand that he did it AGAIN only to lose Aziraphale again? Not that what Aziraphale did isn't without Crowley's own shortcomings (hiding the truth of Heaven's cruelty from him) but like,,,,

The appeal here isn't Scorned Crowley Doesn't Love Aziraphale Anymore, or Never Wants To Help Him Again, the appeal here is Crowley learning enough self respect to not just walk back right to Aziraphale like nothing happened after Aziraphale has had a pattern of consistently refusing him. Going years ping-ponging between "We're not friends I don't even know him" to "That's what friends are for right?" and "We're friends, why would you even say anything?" and "Friends? We're not friends. We are an angel and a demon!"

Like I get it, Crowley is a heartbreakingly forgiving person. Of course he's gonna forgive Aziraphale, I'll be surprised if he didn't forgive him by the time he walked out the bookshop door, but gdi he could at least grant himself the luxury of being at least a little irritated for longer than however long it takes to make a globe and some books float and angrily cry out to God in his flat. But due to the change of pace and dynamic that is establishing part of the conflict for Season 3, I just really like the idea of him for ONCE prioritizing himself and being like "Okay, fine. We'll get back at it when you're ready, then," instead of just taking Aziraphale back like his words and actions meant nothing to him, when clearly they have an effect on him.

What is Aziraphale going to learn if Crowley just accepts what he did so quickly, like he always has the entire time they've been friends? Idk maybe I'm just projecting too much darkness on their dynamic but I mean, if the pattern of Aziraphale pushing Crowley away/disrespecting him one day and then being fine with his friendship the next + Crowley never stopping to be like "Hey, that's not cool, at least give me a little credit" or smth was fine all along and will continue to be fine in the future, then why, after 6,000 years of being friends and loving this demon, can Aziraphale still not accept that Crowley is just fine the way he is, and instead got excited to promote him to an angel in a heartbeat once the opportunity presented itself? You can't blame all of it on Heaven when Aziraphale has demonstrated his free will/defiance to Heaven so many times. Or, I don't know, I guess maybe we can? Maybe I'm just craving too much angst to the point where I'm letting it cloud my analysis of canon. Idk.

[buckleydiazmp4]

not to get all "actually☝️" about it but. the whole point of this is the fact that it isn't at all eddie's fault and buck just doesn't know how to properly process or recognize his feelings and know what he's missing *until* he gets presented with a specific situation. in truth buck has no right to be mad at eddie for building bonds with other ppl and it's why he has to do some introspection. this is not a "oh no poor buck eddie apologize to him!!!" thing, it's about buck getting, for lack of a better term, a good emotional humbling. eddie deserves good friendships and relationships, full stop. and if he likes the way he feels when he hangs out with tommy then great!! he's his own person and not a tool to further buck's character. but you also can't expect buck to immediately recognize that because, again, and for the millionth time, the whole POINT is that he doesn't. so if it has to get ugly and uncomfortable and embarrassing for him to do so then that is what will happen and that doesn't make either of them bad people. this is not a blame to be passing around. it's just them being human beings

[chaiaurchaandni]

really important!!!

after killing 40 Palestinian journalists (+ many journalists who survived but their entire families were killed because their HOMES were targeted), zionists are now spreading dangerous propaganda linking journalists to hamas to

minimize their credibility

refuse to hold any accountability for killing them and

manufacture consent for further targeted killings of even more journalists

it is important to remember how heavily surveilled Gaza is and how israel knows where every single person lives. this is why many journalists have been martyred, not in the field while reporting, but in their homes, as they went home to see their families and get some rest. furthermore, if you follow motaz azaiza closely, you'll know that recently he has also had some close calls with israeli airstrikes, suggesting that israel is indeed targeting active Palestinian journalists, especially those who report in english or have a lot of reach in the west.

please do not fall for israeli propaganda and convince yourselves that israel is justified in murdering innocent Palestinians who only seek to show the world a small glimpse of the hell they live through everyday. call out this propaganda everywhere you see it, and spread awareness about this being a propaganda tactic. by israel's own logic, if journalists happen to record an armed group as they carry out an operation, then journalists from cnn who have embedded themselves with the idf, are also legitimate targets.

and as much as i hate a lot of these american journalists for their complicit reporting in the genocide of Palestinians, i think they deserve to be prosecuted in a free and fair court of law, not to be blown to bits for it. however, for israel, ALL palestinians must be killed to ensure the security of the zionist entity. even the existence of a single Palestinian is proof that israel is an illegitmate settler-colonial state that ethnically cleansed the indigenous population.

[razberrypuck]

hey. if the codeflippa thing ever gets to the point where charlie is *aware* (but in denial/doesn't care/whatever) that she's a code monster and if anyone else ever sees her switch and kills the code and if charlie finds out about it (or, god forbid, he witnesses it). that will end not well I think. because we saw the aftermath of his daughter being killed accidentally- and he understood that fact fully. how do you think he'll react, if someone takes his daughter from him again, on purpose?

[mcybree]

Today i am in a wee bit of pain. If i watched skizzs 3l pov today and made weird bad takes about him on tumblr dot com would yall forgive me

[calkale]

not to bring this up AGAIN but i cant believe they did that to ilsa

[alsojnpie]

[trainingdummyrabbit]

about 5 seconds from spinning an entire barely-genre-adjacent au just because ikeep thinking abt Characters too hard

anyway angela and roland on the worlds longest, shittiest road trip to Nowhere

[kohakhearts]

anyone else think theres some kinda bizarre love triangle going on between the player and the dlc siblings cause thats all i took away from it lmao. cant wait for part 2 so i can take carmine on a true american date