#you ever watched all this and empathized sm that in the end you felt like you just cried years of your life away?

[magicianpanache]

Reading Midnight Sun: Chapter 7

Chapter 7

The chapter starts with Edward Cullen monologuing (surprise, surprise). He’s trying to guess if Bella might ever be attracted to him, and he honestly has no idea, because every reaction she has could also be attributed to fear. He also remembers the fantasies Jessica used to have about him, only with Bella. And by fantasies, I mean holding her hand, and caressing her face. He's a gentlemen, after all.

The love I felt for Bella had come purely, but now the waters were muddied. I wanted very much to be able to touch her. Did she feel the same way?

That’s… an interesting opinion about sexuality, Edward. Let's just ignore this.

The other arrive in the car, and of course we have the obligatory snide moment with Rosalie.

Rosalie noticed the scent at once and glowered at me, still not over her irritation. I wondered what her real problem was, but all I could hear from her were insults. 

Bitchy blonde moment #7

Whatever could her problem be ? I'm simply puzzled. She didn't at all tell you, like three chapters ago.

Once home,

Emmett and Jasper were in the middle of an elaborate game of chess, utilizing eight joined boards spread out along the glass back wall, and their own complicated set of rules. They wouldn’t let me play; only Alice would play games with me anymore.

You know, that’s the first time I feel a little bit sad for Edward. I say a little bit, because it doesn’t take a genius to figure out games to play with a telepath, especially since Edward has a limited radius. He could play over the phone with his super brain, but that would require innovation and stopping to mope. But hey, not my problem.

Edward starts composing again, and Rosalie gets upset (because she’s all about vanity, you know).

Bitchy blonde moment #8

Alice sings while Edward plays, which leads to a wholesome family moment with a family member Edward does not despise.

Esme expresses that Edward is the brightest of them all, and that Bella would be a fool not to love him back.

The moment is cut short, however, with Edward monologuing for a few pages about how shallow and vain Rosalie is, and if she would’ve been a better person if she had been less beautiful. Of course, the analysis is very shallow. In Edward’s opinion, Rosalie is jealous Edward never found her sexually attractive, but likes Bella. She's offended if finds Bella prettier. That’s quite an interesting opinion considering he isn’t the empath, but he doesn’t elaborate on how he knows this beyond a stray thought, only that Rosalie is quite evil for it.

It bothered me some, though, the way she saw Bella. Rosalie actually thought the girl plain. How could she believe that? It seemed incomprehensible to me. A product of the jealousy, no doubt. 

It seems this guy completely rewrote his memories, because in chapter 5: Had I really once believed her average-looking? 

Edward and Emmett go hunting, and have a heart to heart, where Emmett tries to empathize with Edward about his situation and proposes to have Bella change into a vampire. Edward is horrified.

The chapter ends with Edward watching Bella sleep through the window.

Conclusion

Is Edward asexual, or on the asexual spectrum ? After all, he’s in love with this girl, and he cannot fathom a sexual fantasy about her, stopping at imagining caressing her cheek. He wants to touch her, to hold her close, to keep hair out of her face, but he does not think of the word boob or even about kissing her. His official excuse is that even thinking it could lead him to eat her, which I find, frankly, dubious.

As usual, this chapter proceeds at a glacier-slow pace, which is a bit annoying.

Also, the Rosalie hate is starting to get old. I’m starting to wonder whether SM has trauma regarding blonde girls at her high school, because every blonde girl in this is evil or very promiscuous.

[marvelsimp]

The New Kid: Arriving

Ch. 2

The New Kid Masterlist

Genre: Fluff, Angst Pairing: Peter x Lesbian!reader (Platonic duh) , Avengers & Reader Warnings: General angst, swearing, Description: It’s the reader’s birthday so Peter takes her to Avenger’s Tower and there are a few surprises along the way. Reader’s Powers: Healing, telepathy, and empath. Word Count: 3,073

“So, what are the plans for today?”

“You’ll just have to find out,” Peter said smiling.

“Come on its my birthday, you gotta tell me,” you whined.

“Don’t worry it’ll be fun but first, donuts.” He opened the door to a donut shop that you were just about to walk past.  You grinned; donuts were definitely one of your favorite things for breakfast.  Peter quickly went up to the counter and ordered two chocolate donuts for himself and then your two favorites. 

“How’d you know my order? We’ve never gotten donuts together,” you said while sitting down at a table.

He looked at you a little offended.  “Y/n, we’ve known each other for almost a year know.  And you talk about food, especially breakfast food way, too, much.”

‘Fair enough,” you scoffed.  

You and Peter sat there eating for maybe fifteen minutes when Peter suddenly got up, “Looks like our ride is here.”

You looked out and there was a black car that had just pulled up.  You shot Peter a confused look but decided asking questions would get you nowhere.  So, you followed him out and got in the car door he opened for you.

“Happy, this is Y/n. Y/n, this is Happy,” Peter said while getting into the car himself.

You waved and smiled at Happy, he nodded and then started driving.  “So, umm,” you weren’t quite sure where you were going with that much less where you were going at all. 

“Y/n, calm down,” he teased. “I wouldn’t make you do anything you aren’t comfortable with, especially on your birthday.”

You let out a sigh.  The rest of the car trip there wasn’t much talking, you just looked out the window and took in the city that was becoming your new home. When you finally arrived you had no clue where you were until you got out of the car and looked up.  Your eyes grew wide in surprise and excitement.  “What the hell, Parker?” You exclaimed while slapping Peter’s arm.  

“Surprise,” he grinned.  

You were at Avengers Tower; you’d always wanted to go since if first opened after the attack on New York.  The first two floors were open to the public but the rest of the floors were for the Avengers, it was very rare for anyone else to be allowed to enter.  

Peter just smiled interlocking your arms together and walked you into the building.  Over the next two hours you walked from one station to another.  Some were a bit more historic and just listed facts about important Avenger events.  Some were video games or short documentaries about each individual avenger, or at least most of them.  Your favorite one was the VR game where you got to play as an Avenger, you chose Captain Marvel while Peter chose Ironman.

When you had seemingly finished, you were a little sad but Peter quickly lifted you spirts, “Don’t worry I have another surprise.” 

You could feel the excitement absolutely radiate off of him, you were pretty sure that even if you didn’t have powers that you’d still feel it.  Peter grabbed your hand and dragged you out of the building. He led you the back of the building to a garage like area and then to an elevator.  You quickly caught on. He was taking you to the upper levels, the Avengers Levels.  

“Peter, your n-“

“Friday, I have a guest.  Let Mr. Stark know that we’re here.”

“Yes, Mr. Parker he is already aware.  Would you like me to send you straight up to him?”

“Yes, please,” he said while stepping onto the elevator, dragging you along.

“Peter, are you introducing me to THE Tony Stark?”

He nodded. “Oh yeah,” he perked up, “Friday, this is Y/n Y/l/n. Y/n, this is Friday.”

“Hello, Miss Y/l/n. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“It’s, um, nice to meet you, too,” you say looking at the ceiling. 

“She’s Mr. Stark’s AI for the building.  She’s also in his suits,” Peter explained.

“Like Karen?”

“Like Karen.”

You were anxious to say the least.  You were in Avengers tower and about to meet TONY STARK.  You collected yourself as the elevator rose, taking in a few breaths.  “You could’ve warned me.” 

“Surprising you is more fun.”

You rolled your eyes, “My own best friend keeping such a big secret from me!”

“Hmm, like you haven’t kept anything from me.”

“That’s different!”

You both had big smiles on your faces as the elevator doors opened and there they were the Avengers.  Your face dropped, “Holy fuck!”  You said that a lot louder than you meant, your hands covered your mouth, as the Avengers turned their heads to look at you.  You quickly slid over in the elevator to be out of their lines of view as you could hear a few snickers.  You turned to Peter slapping his arm a few times. “You asshole!” you whispered angrily. 

“Sorry! Sorry!” he laughed. “You should’ve seen the look on your face, though!”

“Peter! Those are the Avengers! Why are you laughing?!?!”

“Come on, Y/n. They’ll love you and I’m not the one who just screamed ‘fuck,’” he whispered in your ear. 

You muttered trying to figure out what to say.  You sighed at the stupid boy in front of you then you took a deep breath in. “Fine.  Oh my god.”  

You shook off your anxiety and when you were ready you gave Peter a light shove, making him lead the way.  The room, or what ever it was, was huge.  The main section, or where the Avengers were, was elevated from where the elevator was so you had to look up at them. It was to say the least intimidating, but they all seemed to just be hanging out on the couches that were on the platform.

You looked to the left, right over Peter’s shoulder, and there he was Tony Fucking Stark.  Right behind him were Steve Rodgers and Bucky Barnes who were talking between themselves.  Close behind them was the Falcon, you only didn’t know his name because the public didn’t know his name.  Some of the Avengers were like that, their true names weren’t know so the media used other names, such as Falcon, Spider-Man, Scarlet Witch, Hawkeye and a few more.  You had stopped walking and there he was, your mind was running at light speed while your mouth hadn’t even started walking yet.  

“Y/n, this is Mr. Stark.  Mr. Stark, this is Y/n!” said Peter who was once again beaming with excitement.

“Tony, please,” Mr. Sta-Tony corrected.  “I can never convince him to call me that.”

You turned your head to seen Peter’s face go a little red, causing you to chuckle. You turned back to Tony, you were amazed… more like in shock.  “I-It’s an honor to meet you.” You felt like you should bow or something, they were like royalty to you but you resisted the urge.  “And yeah Peter’s likes that, an idiot. Umm, I can’t believe I’m meeting you, cause someone decided not to tell me.” Tony smirked at your response. “I’d love to ask you about your suits, they are absolutely amazing!  Especially the nano technology its incredible.”  

“We can talk about that later, kid. But for now, you gotta meet the rest of the crew.” With that he walked away, back to the platform with the couches.

“You’re trying to kill me, Parker,” you whispered in your best friend’s ear as the three men who had been behind Tony approached.

You were freaking out all over again.  Three more Avengers, you were meeting Avengers.  

“Steve,” the blond man reached his hand out.

“Y/n,” you said reaching to shake Captain America’s hand.  “And you’re, uh,  Bucky.” He just nodded in return. You turned to the other man, you scrunched your face saying a sort of sorry.  

The man just stepped forward, barley bumping into Bucky, “Sam.”

“What the hell was that for?” Bucky growled, clearly angry that Sam had touched him.

“Language,” said Steve who looked like he was dealing with two toddlers.

“Don’t ‘language’ me,” he turned back to Steve.  “She just said a way worse word than that, not even five minutes ago!” he said pointing his finger at you. You gritted you teeth and turned your head a little in shame.

Steve scoffed at Bucky then turned back to you.  “Nice to meet you, doll,” he says grabbing Bucky’s metal arm dragging him and Sam away from you and Peter. 

That whole interaction through you off.  “That was-“

“Weird?”

“Yeah, this one hundred percent makes me feel like I’m in a fanfic,” you say trying to ease your anxieties.

He just blushes.

“Come on I’m not even talking about sm-” 

“Ahem,” a brunette woman coughs to get your attention. You look over and there are the Scarlet Witch and Natasha Romanoff. You blush, both of them are a lot prettier in person and they caught you in the middle of a weird sentence.  “I’m Wanda,” she says with a kind smile.  The rest of the Avengers seemed excited or at least a little happy and she was but you could also feel her mourning.  A type of mourning she was hiding away, trying to ignore, wouldn’t accept.  You understood that kind of mourning.

“And I’m Nat. Oh, and you might want to watch out.”

Suddenly you were grabbed from behind and picked up. “Lady Y/n,” said the thundering voice, “It is an honor to meet you.” 

You got the wind knocked out of you but you eventually let out a big long laugh. You turned your head and as you had suspected it was Thor.  “It’s nice to meet you too,” you giggled. 

“How about you let her down now?” instructed it calm voice behind you.  With that Thor set you gently on the ground. “I’m Bruce,” stated the man stepping around the god to see you.

Your eyes widen, you have Dr. Bruce Banner in front of you. You were going to ask about his PhDs or something along those lines, but you were interrupted by Friday.

“I would like to inform everyone that lunch is now ready.”

Everyone made their way to a large table. You clutched onto Peter’s arm hoping you didn’t faint or get overwhelmed and have an anxiety attack, even though you were surprisingly calm.  You ended up sitting with Peter on your left and Wanda on your right.  You soon discovered that lunch was pizza. Thank god.  You were afraid it was going to be something fancy.  Wanda offered to get you some you favorites using her powers, to which you accepted.

“So, Y/n,” Tony started, “Peter tells me that you’ve already graduated from high school.”

“Uh, yeah.  After the blip, when I came back, my school was no longer running so I decided to do school from home.  It was just easier so I spent my time pouring over my studies and working on some projects.  I finished what would usually be five semesters in about five months?”

Tony seemed to be impressed. “Tell me about the projects you were working on.” You looked over to Peter, kind of asking if he had told him about your powers. It took him a second to understand but he returned with a nod.  “After I came back I discovered my powers so I used an old microscope and collected some of my blood to study.” You went on to explain your process and what you found.  You then continued by talking about your projects.  The avengers would ask questions, mostly Tony, Bruce, and Peter.  

Then you felt it, it was like someone was screaming in your ear. Loki.  That couldn’t be right, Loki died during one of the battles with Thanos. As you began to understand and test your powers you learned that a person’s subconscious was almost always saying their name, the only time that becomes loud enough for you to hear is when the person is trying to focus or is under a crap ton of stress.  The screaming persisted.  You finally decided to turn you powers completely on to figure out exactly where it was coming from.  You finally discovered it to be the man who seemed to be preparing some desserts.  The voice screaming Loki over and over continued to grow louder and louder. The sound was banging around your skull causing you to develop a slight headache.  You turned to Wanda, you wanted to make sure before you started to throw around accusations of Loki being in Avengers Tower.  “Wanda,” you whispered in her ear, “could you read that guy’s mind over there.  Something feels off.”

She nodded her head.  Her eyes had a very faint red glow to them.  After a few seconds she suddenly stood up causing everyone to turn their heads to her, a few them went into instant defense mode, ready for a fight.  Her hands began to glow red and the man was now surrounded in the red glow too.  “Reveal yourself or I will,” she demanded.

The man groaned and rolled his eyes.  “Come on,” he said while transforming and revealing himself to be Loki.  

Thor stood up quickly his happy demeanor turned mincing as he held his hand out for what you assumed to be for Mjolnir to arrive.  

Peter quickly picked you up from your chair and ran you out to the elevator.  Which was smart because now there was yelling and screaming. “Friday take us to the game floor… Shit!” Peter grinned punching your arm slightly.

“Didn’t know I could do that.”

“No, just didn’t expect Loki to be here much less alive!”

You went on to explain to Peter how you had discovered the God of Mischief while to elevator when down.  Eventually it stopped and you two got out.  You finished your story just as Peter opened the first door.

“This is the gym.”  It was a expansive room, a portion of it was just the usual work out gear, a ginormous rock wall, and a boxing ring.  “Over here is my favorite bit.” Peter led you to a door.  When you stepped through it was full of walls that didn’t meet the ceiling, little secret paths and quite a few upper platforms.

“This is where we play laser tag,” Peter explained, “It’s meant for training but also fun! Everything can be changed with a push of a button.” He walks over to a panel on the wall and pushes a few buttons on the tablet.  The room then shifts and changes, its now a little more direct with a lot of less tunnels and more simple hiding spots. Peter then walks over to a wall that has some vests and weapons. He turns to you with a cheeky grin, “Do you wanna play?”

You smile reaching your hand out to receive a vest. “Game on.”

You and Peter play for who knows how long, but it distracted both of you from what happened upstairs.  Even with both of your regenerative abilities you were both panting and sweating after half a dozen rounds but still having fun. Then Friday spoke up, “Peter, Mr. Stark has informed me that you need to check your phone.”  You both pause your game; Peter reaches for his back pocket and reads a message.

“What does it say?”

“Umm, he just wanted to let us know that they got Loki,” he says peeking up from behind a wall then you shoot at him missing.  “Cheater!”  After a few more rounds Peter asks, “Do you want to continue the tour?  We can always come back here later.”

“Yes, please,” you say catching your breath.  You and Peter put up the gear, get some water and then exit the gym area.  He shows you a massive olympic size pool with several diving boards of different heights.  Then he takes you to a huge game room.  It has several TVs, computers, there’s even a small VR room, and of course there are tons of board games.  

Since he got that text form Tony, Peter’s excitement keeps growing and growing.  “You have another surprise, what is it?”

Peter opens his mouth then closes and he lets out a sigh, he’s a terrible liar and you’re basically a walking talking lie detector.  “Come on,” he lets out sounding a little defeated.

You let out a chuckle, he leads you back to the elevator. “Friday, take us to the living area”  

The elevator rises.  It takes you to a common area, there’s a kitchen, dining table, and a tv with some couches and chairs all in the same room.  You assume, like Peter said, that this is where the avengers live.

“I wanted to show you the labs first, but I think you’ll like this a little more.  This is where the Avengers live,” he grins like he always does with pure joy escaping him.  “The Starks’ have the Penthouse, so they don’t have rooms down here and there’s a floor just for King T’Challa and his family, Princess Shuri’s nice you’d love her.”  He leads you to a hallway with several doors. “At the end of the hall there is a guest room on each side. This hall has War Machine’s, Hawkeye’s, Widow’s, Antman’s, Dr. Banner’s, and Dr. Strange’s rooms.” He had pointed to each one respectively. He then walks to the opposite side of the living space and to another hallway. Instead of stopping before the hallway he continued walking into it. “These on the left are Falcon’s, Wanda’s, Bucky’s, and Steve’s.  On the right there’s Captain Marvel’s, Thor’s, mine, and this one...” he opens door that’s in between his and Thor’s and walks in, you follow. “This is yours.”

You let out a gasp and put your hand to your mouth.  All of your stuff is here, your bedding, posters, pictures, clothes, all of it.  You can feel the tears streaming down your face and you turn to Peter who is smiling with tear filled eyes.  “What?” you breathe out not sure what to say.  Peter simply pointed to a note on the bed.  You walk over to it and read it:

“Welcome to the team, we got a lot to talk about but for now enjoy. -The Avengers”

“I..” you turn to Peter who is now crying, too. You walk to him and engulf him in a hug and whisper, “Thank you.”

Next Chapter

Arriving-deleted Scene

[willowbilly]

My rambly long-as-HECK hot take on Star Trek: Disco, 2 eps into s2

I LOVE MICHAEL BURNHAM. I hope the show takes the opportunity to fully explore her relationship with Spock, and with Sarek and Amanda, and I look forward with optimism to seeing how other characters and other interpersonal relationships develop as well. I didn't like a lot of the first season in part because of Lorca, because I felt that he represented the worst of the show - namely, an edgy morally gray mindset of "the ends justifies the means" which is too easily taken to negative extremes, i.e. extremes which don't hesitate to sacrifice compassion and empathy entirely. 

But that's the thing. That's what he did represent. He was the surprise villain, and the first season was a subversion of Star Trek's usual cast formula in that he wasn't a recurring character but a main character, and a character who had risen high enough in command that he was able to pursue the consolidation of his own power to the eventual ultimate detriment of those under him. I suspect that Mirror!Georgiou will continue to fill this role of pushing ethical boundaries, and I'm pretty okay with that, because we Know what she is and that That's what she'll do, and we have known from the get-go, so we'll be as on guard against her philosophy’s pointed tendency to erode altruism for the sake of utilitarian selfishness as we should be. Now that Pike is here, the entire feel of the bridge has changed for the better. 

I adore Pike. I adore that he is a natural leader whose leadership style does not come down to exploitative manipulation and domination, as Lorca's did, but to open and honest communication and to compassion. He keeps his cool and deescalates instead of losing patience and attempting to unilaterally enforce a final word; even when he loses his patience enough to verbally snap at someone (Michael) it is because he perceives her as (to paraphrase) “offering only criticisms instead of solutions,” and he reins in his temper and reassesses the moment that the other person (ever herself a logical conversationalist, I love her sm) explains to him that he was incorrect in his first assessment of her truncated verbal offering; he is willing to compromise; he uses (affectionate, emotionally egalitarian) playfulness to set others at ease and to swiftly solidify social bonds; he is sensitive to and accepting of the emotions of others in a way which facilitates cooperation, and, therefore, speedier, more effective, and more informed problem-solving. Those under his command trust him enough to voice their opinions - they trust him enough to Communicate and Cooperate with him, which is vital for the smooth and successful operation of the whole. And, most importantly, he does not hold himself as infallible. 

Starfleet is not a military organization (or, at the very least, it is not one as we know them to be today). It is an apparatus devoted to the betterment of all life. Every single Starfleet officer is duty-bound to learn, grow, and adapt, from situation to situation, from moment to moment, from problem to problem, and in conversation from person to person. If all members blindly followed orders - if none of them questioned the status quo, or if none of them even dared to question a superior officer when they felt that their superior officer was in the wrong or perhaps even merely acting without full understanding of the facts, then the Federation would likely be no better than the Terran Empire - a dictatorship dependent on forcing obedience through domination: socially, and economically. Cooperation versus domination: two ideological extremes, but it is cooperation which uplifts all members, and so it is Starfleet which is in the right, because every living being is deserving of respect and mercy. 

Connolly-Whatshisface died because he considered himself infallible in a situation where he would have benefited from listening to someone else. No one is above this obvious lesson; listening, and listening in good faith, is a necessity for Starfleet's very operation, and it is something which everybody should do, even when one's initial knee-jerk reaction is toward defensiveness. Defensiveness seeks to maintain one's ego through lashing out at things which threaten one's internal sense of infallibility. No one likes to make mistakes. It's embarrassing, y'know? But you needn't be embarrassed if you correct yourself, if you apologize, and it's even easier not to feel embarrassed if you know that you will not be shamed by others for having made a mistake; if you are able to trust that you will be treated with respect and mercy, because that's how you would treat others. You, yes YOU, are capable of putting a little good into the world, every time you speak to someone. Every time you say "thank you," or smile, or write down your angry rant in your private journal instead of spewing that vitriol to possibly equally vitriolic strangers on the internet. 

Star Trek is the recognition (and Starfleet, the embodiment) of this power. Recognition of the fact that in the moments where one assumes the best of others, gives them the benefit of the doubt, allows them to explain themselves - THAT is when we are at our most human, and that is when we are allowing understanding to facilitate cooperation. The more we cooperate, the more we advance as a society. The kinder and more curious we are, the happier we are with ourselves and with each other. And the better everything is. 

Discovery isn't a military ship. This is a ship full of combat-and-weapons-trained scientists, artists, engineers, tacticians, and diplomats. They are here because they are all giant nerds who want to make the world a better place. I'm here watching this show because I love characters who are giant nerds who Joke and Talk and Enjoy Being With Each Other and I want to lap up a life-affirming message instead of some joyless torture of a drama with a bland "likeable" (see: infallible) lead who is /sOmeHoW/ more "relateable" (easier to automatically empathize with due to run-of-the-mill mainstream familiarity) than a cool, whip-smart, scientifically-minded, practical, assertive young black woman who is desperately trying to live up to Starfleet's best ideals despite her own shortcomings and her intense childhood trauma. (And the ongoing trauma of being the main protagonist in a flashy action series - *SPOILERS* Burnham running for her life as the asteroid went to pieces around her, and then having her thigh impaled by a red-hot chunk of metal, was thrilling and terrible *END SPOILERS*, and it's frankly exactly the sort of action sequence which makes me misty-eyed about purple-painted Styrofoam rocks falling on an overcompensating Shatner, the same way that all of the little asides on the DSC bridge remind me of what I loved most about TOS: the little moments when Spock and Bones would riff during an otherwise tense situation, or when Chekov would boast about Russia, or when Kirk would make a Big... Inspirational Speech, with... weird stops and... STARTS.) 

I love Michael Burnham, I love Star Trek, and I'm finally maybe starting to love this show.