#you got a hobby? find a community group social thing and meet ppl there for fuck sake

[the-100th-witch]

Okay last LAST time i break social media break bc something super awkward and weird happened as I was leaving a book store today!! (im copy pasting my message to my friend bc i wanted to share it publicly also lmao)

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"I went to Barnes and Noble to treat myself bc of all this house business right? well i get out of the store and im in my car talking to my mom (asking if she needed anything before I came home) and this dude knocks on my window!

I roll it down (he didnt look sketchy) and i assumed he was gonna ask if I could jump his car or something (i was literally backing out of my parking spot so like I was leaving)

and he goes "I swear im not a begger" and im like "uh ok??" and then ask "Are you a married woman?" Im like "HUH?" and my mom on the phone is like "is someone bothering you?!? hello??" and im all flustered and confused and honestly over dealing with ppl today so i just go "uh no but im not interested im on the phone and leaving" and i roll up my window bc like HUH

and he kinda walks to his car and then walks back and says "ok but i just wanted to let you know everyone has a type and your it!" and im like "HUUH???" and at that point i just wanted to leave bc im like ToT what is happening?!

maybe i should have just shouted "im aromantic and asexual im not your type bitch" but ugh i always get so flustered when im put on the spot like that! esp after a stressful week (we had to get the house ready for today for ppl to view it so we been cleaning all week)."

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And listen, I get there are very few places to meet potential matches (esp if you hate online dating) but maybe knocking on a young woman's car in a sketchy area as I'm ACTIVELY BACKING OUT and then asking if I was a married woman isn't the move sir ToT

Like the knocking on the window got me flustered and alarms going regardless if you are a danger or not. I'm a small woman and my pepper spray was in my trunk where my purse was (i put my stuff in my trunk bc ppl break windows and i didnt want to lug my big ass purse into a bookstore) so i was like "SHIT" and i rolled it down a little bit bc im a good person and if he needed a jump the least I could do was say "sry I can't jump your car" (i dont have cables and if he did again it's about safety unless he had like a woman with him but even then I dont think i would bc it would take two seconds to pick me up and kidnap me)

It also annoys me bc like bruh READ THE ROOM. If you think that technique is gonna get you a date you're gonna have the cops called on you ToT

If you are seeking out someone to date (esp men) DON'T FOLLOW A WOMAN TO HER CAR AND KNOCK ON HER WINDOW. That's creepy as fuck even if you are the nicest and non-creepy person there is. I don't know you.

[ubercharge]

how do i make friends online if i know absolutely no one and im not actively involved in any communities

join a discord server for something ur into like an esports team or a game you play, chill for a while to see if u like the vibes of the place, and talk when u feel comfortable doing so

play a multiplayer game and add people who’re fun to play with and talk to. helps if you say some funny shit in chat cuz then ppl who give funny responses are usually worth adding. or if the game has it available, join an LFG/a guild and mingle with people. mmorpgs in particular tend to have events and group quests/raids/whatever that force you into a temporary alliance at the least to get your items and objectives done

smaller reddit communities can be fun, and the sub might have a discord server you can join too. i don’t post on reddit but i like posts and browse stuff - it’s a less intimate way of being a part of a community that doesn’t even require talking to anyone

if you’re an artist, applying to a zine or joining another kind of art-based community (art fight has its own server i believe) is good also for meeting other artists and networking. same with being a music producer and joining music-related groups, that kinda thing. there’s a group somewhere on discord or facebook or anywhere for whatever hobbies you’ve got.

if you’re into any active pet sites (flight rising is probly still alive?), the forums tend to be good places to chat and roleplay, if you’re into that. i made a bunch of friends RPing way back. 

follow people on social media whose work, jokes, personalities, etc. you like and curate a timeline filled with people you think are cool! interact with their posts and stuff if you want. you never know, you could get a follow back, or at least a funny reply.

these things generally require participation from you but i recommend finding a group for something you like and sticking to that! you gotta put yourself out there for people to see you

[symptoms-syndrome]

hey, i hope this is not too syscourse-y to ask (if it is feel free to ignore), but how do you not let syscourse get to you? i have most things related to it blacklisted but every once in a while i will come across posts where ppl talk about "being plural", being "a system" etc. in That Way and i ignore it every time but i have a hard time regrouping afterwards and keeping straight what is what even though i know what they discuss is different from what i have.

This probably won't be syscourse specific, since I sorta disengaged from online discoursing before I was diagnosed, but hopefully this will still be helpful.

I block tags, blogs, etc liberally

I feel like people act like it's some huge thing for you to block a blog when like...most of the time they don't even know you've blocked them. If I see something I don't like, I block the blog. I don't want someone I've seen have stupid takes in the past to add one to my posts, so I block in advance. Hell, you don't have to "be in the community" for anything if you don't want to. I've done whole social media purges where I unfollowed dozens of blogs of smth I was into because it was bringing me more stress than it was worth, and I just talked about that stuff with my small group of friends. Just because you don't engage with X on social media doesn't make you any less of a "real" X or whatever.

Consider why you're engaging in discourse

"Engaging," in this context, means anything from scrolling tags you know you'll find things that upset you, visiting blogs you know have takes you don't like, picking fights with people online, posting things you know will cause controversy just because you want someone to argue with you, etc. Is it because you're bored? Is it because you have aggression you want to get out? Is it because you don't feel secure in your opinion until you debate it with someone? Is it because you want to show that you have The Right Opinion? What need isn't being met that you're trying to fill by arguing with people online? There are other ways to fill that need.

Remember you don't have to get everyone to agree with you

Let me frame this with a little humblebrag: public speaking is something I am very good at. I have been paid to facilitate conversation around stuff like racism, mental health, etc. And this is to say, according to third parties, I am good enough at "discourse LARPing" that people are willing to pay me money for it. And yet, even when I use my most even tone and most eloquent arguments and provide direct sources etc etc etc, there are still people who will vehemently "no u." Online even more so, because since there isn't a face and a name along with a blog (usually,) people get more combative and more argumentative. At some point, you just have to give up and hope that some day later on, they'll reflect on what you said and possibly change their minds on their own. But they might not. But that's okay.

Know when it's appropriate to discourse

One of the worst experiences on Tumblr dot bad have been when you're venting about something, and someone you don't even know comes in with an "um, actually-", especially when it's something you already know. Sometimes ppl just gotta vent, and you have to respect that and let them.

Get a hobby

No seriously. I know it's a common like. Insult or whatever, but seriously. Find something else you're passionate about. Not to sound old beyond my age, but being on the internet too much is bad for you. Find something else to do so that Tumblr (or wherever else you're seeing these things u don't agree with) doesn't take up so much of your time.

Volunteer IRL for something you're passionate about

I used to be involved in soooo much discourse online, and then I started volunteering, then working, in IRL social justice spaces. Not only did this show me what parts of discourse were 100% online issues and thus...not really relevant at all IRL (and IMO not worth getting worked up about) but it also cemented in me the opinions that I REALLY care about, and strengthened them.

This last point I think is most important. Online discourse doesn't. Really ultimately change much. It's wayyy more stress than it's worth. When's the last time you felt accomplished or happy doing online discourse? For me, I don't think I ever did. I did it to get mad. But when you've actually organized that protest or finished that speaking engagement or whatever? You feel accomplished and happy, and like you've changed something. You get more positive feedback than negative, usually.

A lot of nonprofits you can just sign up to volunteer for, and a lot even give you training. Or just go to a protest and socialize and you'll find someone who has connections to something. I got my position at a nonprofit because I got confused about what time to arrive to their community center and just. Sat in on a meeting and then they asked if I was coming back next week. A lot of nonprofits are super open to new members, and are MUCH more forgiving than online discoursers. If you make a mistake you get gentle correction or helpful education instead of shaming. You don't even have to do it regularly if you don't like. Just stay away from the big corporate-y ones like Peace Corps or Americorps and stuff.

This is super messy I wrote it at work between breaks LMAO I'll probably revisit later, but LMK if this is helpful or u have any other questions or smth

[lllvllls-blog]

⋆ ◦ ° ☾ cismale + he/his — have you seen vincent janko? they sure have been hanging out at valdez county park a lot recently. they are thirty eight years old known as the raging bull, and they currently work for the cobras as a soldier, which they’ve been doing for nine years. a bisexual capricorn, they are determined + practical, as well as detached + stubborn. knitting needles, smashed terracotta pots, gauze bandages.

this is so long im so sry it’s mostly so i dont fKN FORGET MY BRAINS A SIEVE

HISTORY

this my most anti-social + rage-filled muse so we’ll see how he do... v v v loosely based on jake lamotta in the raging bull film. their personalities are actually a bit different ANYWAY 

raised around violence, saw ppl responded to it + listened when used so grew up with the kinda mentality where violence was the only answer 

not a great relationship with parents, lack of communication, abusive. vince’s parents married too young, fell out of love quick, took their frustrations out on each other and on their kid who never listened

so kept to himself at home but released aggression at school. a Big Fat Bully rip just picking on ppl all the time - not the weak ones but the strongest

got into a lot of trouble, juvenile diversion, detention etc. hefty fines bc of vandalism, assault etc. then eventually juvie for a short while for assaulting his probation officer. a mess. 

age 15, his mum (civilian) left his dad (cobra) and his dad remarried to a fellow cobra. his new mom wanted their own kid but couldn’t so adopted serah. ENTER: actual angel, light of vince’s life. the lil 3 y/o was his everything ok. not only did serah’s arrival soften his dad up a lil but vince had less reason to be angry about things too.

tho their parents were v absent, vince had no problem taking care of serah. in fact he was so happy to do it, even skipped school to spend time with her 

stayed out of trouble for serah, joined a boxing club which tamed him a lot, saved his anger for the ring. lost a lot at first but once he started to pick things up the cobras began to take notice as he quickly became the winning bet

doesn’t feel pain like normal people. can just charge + charge + charge @ people no matter how many punches to the head.

didn’t graduate high school but agreed to fight for the cobras + help them fix games for some extra dolla. enjoyed the money as paid back parents, became independent, and begin to save up to move into a house with his gf + financially support serah

never took the initiation tho. always rebelled against his parents and refused to join the cobras despite their wishes. didn’t like the thought of ppl telling him what to do. just wanted to fight, win, go back to his gf + sis with a fat wad of cash 

around the age of 23, he enlisted in the army with a bunch of his friends due to ~patriontic~ reasons but before he left married mimi who came from savage parents + eventually initiated when she was 18. had been dating her since he was 16. this was another reason why he swore not to join as a cobra

finds out she’s pregnant whilst he’s away. wasn’t planned. thought of kids scared him bc he never believed he’d be a good dad (spoiler alert: he right) 

comes back during leave to meet a lil bb rosie (age 25). elated but terrified. more than the war. goes back to afghanistan, hates not being there. so fucks up his own left ear, sent home with a medical discharge. deaf in one ear. called an animal. 

he’s obvs not the same as before, disoriented and a lil traumatized. also wow vince is not the best parent. has sm of his dad’s awful traits that he hasn’t unlearnt but is Trying. 

tried to do a normal job as a construction worker but just got into fights all the time, kept getting fired. was convinced to go back into the ring. so he did. but things were different. 

he didn’t get the same sense of relief from mindless violence. just needed the money. impact of the war - no release from shooting a gun and taking an innocent person’s life. being a solider was a job in the same way as a fighter. work, work. unsatisfied hunger.  

ANYWAY vince’s last fight (age 27), huge odds. cobras told him to lose. his friend bet on him to win against vince’s advice. friend had bet a lot of money. so won the fight. next day his wife was killed.

he thought it was the cobras. turns out it was the savages, they thought she was a snake. not only that but the cobras lost a lot of money. they wanted him to pay it back. he refused to initiate. but serah was pregnant as well. he needed to support the fam + didn’t want no dramaz.

so continued to fight. but now he didn’t know when to stop, didn’t know his limits. began to beat his opponents to death. did the odd job here and there - intimidation, repossession, torture. only to pay off his debts + lowkey protection for his fam 

age 29, parents die. livid. paranoid. took cobra initiation for official protection. also a way to hunt down his wife and parents’ killer + get vengeance. 

SUMMARY: ex cobra fighter, ex us military, widower, a decent brother (serah’s), trying to be a decent father, now cobra soldier. (all u have to know tbh)

PERSONALITY (?) ish

nine years later, not over it. still angry. still hunting for the savages that killed his loved ones. might even be dead but subconsciously it doesn’t matter to him, convinces himself they’re still alive to cope with guilt. give his life a kind of purpose he thinks is achievable. 

it’s pretty obvious to ppl he’s only in the cobras out of his own interest, protection and vengeance. he doesn’t exactly see other cobras as ‘family’ and his jobs are all done solo. just sticks to himself, gets shit done and doesn’t want anyone to bother him.

tryna be a good brother and a good dad and a good husband. crazy overprotective. don’t fucc with them, he’ll kill you. more brawns than brains. not a lot of morals. full of hate and rage. always sounds angry. even if amused. doesn’t talk much. speaks in grunts n gruffs n glares. talks weirdly, goes off tangents a lot. 

not book smart but v street smart. don’t bullshit him bc it’ll just piss him off. 

once he sets his mind to something that’s it, game over. dont try and change his mind.

ALSO tryna be a better man for his fam. goes to therapy (rarely!!), cut down on drinking A LOT tho sometimes has his moments, smokes privately. works out a lot, does DIY a lot, but also taken on hobbies that require a lot of patience like knitting, gardening, fishing. 

POSSIBLE CONNECTIONS

childhood friends - vince had a lot more space in his heart for people outside of his family when he was younger. he was more sociable, approachable. wasn’t exactly a social butterfly but had a group of friends etc. that he deeply cared for 

kobra kidz on the block - vince’s dad and step-mom were both cobra members. so people he grew up with due to their affiliations? old time friends, old time enemies. frenemies. anything. vince was very vocal about his disregard for the gang tbh. could’ve boxed together etc. 

annoyance - a younger chara that just won’t leave him alone lmao. maybe a cobra, maybe not. could be anything.

baby sitter - vince has a daughter called rosie who is 13 y/o. she’s a lil hard nut and hard to control (wonder who she takes after) but anyway he def needs one of these. he’d rely on them a lot.

family/friends of mimi - mimi, his late wife, was a savage. they dated from 16 to her death at age 27. she grew up around savages. she joined out of peer pressure and vince never shied away from telling her fam how much he doesn’t like them. so ppl that opposed her, maybe orchestrated/participated in her death. could be fun. 

lonely - vince has only been in love with one woman + still isn’t over her but it’s been nine years and a man has needs. so someone he fucks bc he’s lonely. this person probably knows it too. maybe they’re also lonely.  

ex-fling - same sitch as before but the person ended it bc vince was so detached and cold. or maybe they grew feelings and broke it off. either way, vince unintentionally hurt the other person and *charlie puth vc* they don’t talk any mo

garden patch friends - vince has rly gotten into gardening ok. has a little garden patch near where he lives in the suburbs. plants veggies, some flowers. so maybe they have similar interests or have a patch nearby and *gasp* vince can actually talk more than a sentence at a time

[kinsugai1999-blog]

BTS SHIP :-)

Hello! I saw that you are doing written ships and I was wondering if you can do mine with BTS with first date or asking out! If you don’t mind! :) I can’t mask my feelings well and people can read me easily. I’m usually described as a shy and demure individual but once you get to know me I am bright, intelligent, 4D(quirky), joyful, & fun. My hobbies include drawing, listening to music, reading manga (Japanese comics), watch anime, swimming, and driving around. I am also a very open-minded individual as well.

I don’t wear too much makeup even on special occasions and I always give everything an 110% :) My fashion is very simple but when I go out with friends I dress up more fashionably! I can get along with people and I always like to help them out if needed. I usually also have a mild temper and I have a very easygoing and quiet personality Because of my shy personality I can be socially awkward at first. I also blush really easily if I get nervous and shy and then I start to stutter a lot. I also get mistaken for having a cold personality when I don’t.  I also have long wavy brown hair and a baby face known amongst my friends. Big brown eyes, long eyelashes, and I have a fit body.

I am half Chinese, latina, and quarter french (European descendent) I’m also afraid of bugs and love boba. Former junior Olympic athlete for swimming and swimming for 7 years with 1 or two records at a community college for a high school swim meet. I hate being a burden and say sorry a lot. I am also an INFJ and I like to cosplay and play video games like final fantasy, kingdom hearts, resident evil, metal gear solid, and devil may cry etc.  As well as I have the tendency of being too nice and not looking for myself like putting others before my needs and my friends always tell me to take care of myself as well and smile more often.  

In my group of friends, I’m usually the little sister despite being older than some of the friends, I’m usually protected or taken care of.  I also make puns that are corny and bad haha.  I am also humble and modest, I do not give myself enough credit for what I do and when ppl give me compliments I try to look for something even if I do not know the person and I tend to get flustered, shy, awkward, and quiet about it.  I don’t really like being in the spotlight that much or gain attention, but my friends and from my observations they told me that I have this aura that attracts people even though I am not being an attention freak etc.

Hi sweetie~of course! Here we go~ @otakupandasworld

Written ship type A: J-Hope- first date...

J-Hope had to work on his excitement a lot to not keep jumping around, screaming, since the moment you agreed to go out with him. He was extremely happy! He was drawn to you at the moment his eyes laid on you...he had planned a very romantic date for you two...how he was daydreaming about it!

-Hi, J-Hope!- you waved at him.

-Hi, (y/n)! You came!

-Didn’t I said so?-you laughed.

-You did...but I’m very glad you are here!- he made aigo and you smiled even more.

-So...what we are doing today?

He pulled two ticked from his pocket with a wide smile...

-We are going to the amusement park!

-That sounds exciting!

You two walked all the way to the amusement park, enjoying a pretty view. He had a sudden desire to hold your hand, but, once you were more reserved, he had second thoughts...he wanted to spent the most time with you...the amusement park was crowded with people (mostly couples) and he could sense that you were getting shy and nervous...you two went on various attractions with him always trying to disperse your uneasiness, but he seemed to fail every time. He perceived that you kept staring at the Ferris wheels...

-(y/n)...let’s go to the...-he took a lot of courage to spilled out-...to the Ferris wheels...

-Sure!- you gave him a bright smile...you would finally find comfort...

He gave a quick scared stare to the person who was settling you two in a cabin...you found it interesting...

-What’s wrong, Hoseok?

-Nothing...it’s nothing...- he forced a smile...

It didn’t took long until the wheel started to move...as the cabin when higher, the more J-Hope seemed to lose his cool and let it show he was terrified...

-Hoseok...are you alright?- you were concerned, once you saw his face becoming pale...

-I’m alright...-the cabin swung a little and Hoseok, out of fear, hugged you tightly without realizing he was doing so...you became really red...nervous...

-Are you afraid of heights?- you tried to comfort him patting on his head sightly and slowly, once you were blushing hard...

-Yes...-he mumble.

-Why did you suggest to come here, then, in the first place?

-Because you were feeling uneasy while we were doing the other things...and you were staring intensively to this attraction...I just wanted to have a good time with you- his voice cracked...you finally forced yourself to embrace him as well...

-I enjoyed every single moment I was with you, Hoseok...it’s just that I can shy and embarrassed easily...you didn’t need to go this far for me...I appreciate your courage...

-Really?- he stared your eyes surprised- I’m so glad to hear that! You are the best, (y/n)!- he kissed your forehead and your blush got worse...

I hope you liked it :) Thank you for reading :) Feel free to request me anytime :)