#you guys have no idea how frustrating it is to spend 4+ hrs every day printing stickers to only come out with 10 or so good ones

[climbdraws]

I've had my new cricut machine for a few weeks now (same exact model as my old one) and man the difference is hugeeee

My old machine would constantly error - either not reading registration marks, constantly offset cutting and I could only use a small portion of the page because anything past 6" became horribly offset or unreadable. Now I have the other machine for comparison & I honestly think my old cricut sensor was malfunctioned from the start given how many issues it used to give me

[jaehotbuns]

make it count

rating: pg-13

word count: 4560

characters: you x doyoung ft. taeil + donghyuck

genre: officeworkers!au, fluff, slight angst

summary: every year there’s a competition at your marketing company to win a bonus and vacation and luckily for you, you’re paired with the star player of the company. as you get closer to him, you think the rumors might not be true. until he gives you a reason to believe he is as cold and professional as everyone makes him out to be. 

[monday, 10:54am]

“Kim Doyoung, of the Finance Department will be the first member of team B,” the director of NCT Marketing Co. announced loudly into the microphone which caused the other employees to mutter to their seatmates, you and Donghyuck also included. Doyoung walked up the small flight of wooden stairs up onto the middle of the stage and placed his hands neatly in front of him, one hand on top of the other. His face was stoic, with no expression, yet still confident. 

You leaned over to Donghyuck’s ears and started to whisper, “wow whoever’s going to be on his team is lucky.” Doyoung entered the company fresh eyed with only a Bachelor’s degree and two years of internship under his belt yet he was already highly regarded due to his consistent outstanding results, perfect work ethic, and professional attitude. Although he was teased often by some workers that he was close to at the office, with everyone else he never let down his guard. 

“No thank you,” Donghyuck chuckled and shook his head. He and the other employees that knew Doyoung personally all chuckled and elbowed each other while looking at him on the stage. 

You were confused, all of the older workers shared the same thoughts as you. The company held mid-year competitions that paired members from each department to create campaigns for their biggest sponsors. The team with the best results and sales would be awarded a 15% bonus on their paycheck and a week off of work. So it was out of the question that people were crossing their fingers to be on a team with one of the company’s star employees. “Why?” You asked. “Everyone knows he always gives the best results and he’s your friend too.”

Donghyuck leaned closer to you to give you more insight. “Last year I was on the team with him and Johnny and it was a mess.” 

Still confused, you tilted your head to the side and knitted your eyebrows together. “Why? Didn’t your team win last year?” 

“Correct,” Donghyuck said. He turned his gaze over to Doyoung and shook his head while waving a finger at him in disappointment. “But Johnny and I would always leave him to work and FaceTime us having beers pretending not to work that he was so annoyed that he went to HR to ask to work alone.” 

“Wait, so you left all the work to him?”

Donghyuck scoffed and shot you a glare, “of course not! We have morals too! We finished our work early to pretend we were slacking off to mess with him.” He slapped his knee and laughed remembering the ordeal, “I didn’t think he’d actually do something so drastic though. We had to show our completed work at the meeting with HR and he suddenly yelled, ‘wait! You had it done this whole time?’” He let out a sigh of air after continuously laughing, “I need someone that I can’t make fun of.” 

“You guys are too mean,” you chuckled at the thought of Doyoung, who never shows his emotions, being teased by his friends. While you and Donghyuck were talking, Taeil was called up to the stage. “Wow this is crazy, Taeil’s on the team too?” Taeil had 5 years of experience, a Master’s degree in Business Management, and on top of that he’s loved by all of the workers at the company for his kind and helpful character. 

“Having Taeil on the team does help make uptight Doyoung more bearable,” Donghyuck laughed with his hand covering his mouth. You rolled your eyes, Donghyuck always acted like a school kid at work but it seemed like he took particular joy from making fun of Doyoung. 

Your eyes travelled back to the stage and watched the director look back at his cue cards and pull the microphone back to his chin to announce the final member. “And the last member of team B will be… The newest addition of our company!” 

You blanked out, did he just call your name? You sat there confused until Donghyuck slapped your arm lightly and hissed, “that’s you dummy! Go up!” Snapping out of your daze, you walked over to the stage and next to Doyoung who eyed you from the corner of his eye. All of you bowed towards your coworkers and walked down the stage to seats that had sheets of paper with ‘team B’ on them. 

All of you introduced yourselves quietly and briefly as the other teams were being announced and you sat awkwardly next to Doyoung with Taeil on the left side of him while you on his right. As you were watching silently, Doyoung turned to you and asked softly, “so you’re the newest one in the company?” You nodded with your eyes still on the stage, too intimidated to look at him. “First competition then?” You nodded again. He held his slender hand out to you, “let’s work together well.” You placed your hand in his and he gave you a firm handshake. When you looked up at him you saw his eyes slightly smile and the corner of his mouth curl up to form a small smile. 

After every team was formed, everyone went into their respective meeting rooms and started to prep. Teams from previous years were given tasks of marketing fashion collections, sports drinks, or even ginseng and herbal supplements but this year everyone was given a piece of real estate. Yours was a beautiful guest house near Haeundae beach in Busan. 

With your roles already assigned according to the departments that you were in, you were prepping the project that was due in only a week’s time which would make the bonus worth more with how much overtime you were able to do. Taeil was in charge of operations, Doyoung with finance and budgeting, and you with creative control. 

You were all deep in thought with how you were going to market the beautiful property, as although it was in a great location and had modern and a chic interior; people usually took day trips or rented cheap hostels for the night as they only rented to sleep, not to spend time in rentals when they’d spend all day at the nearby attractions. Doyoung tapped his pen lightly against the marbled table surface. “How about we start with themes? That should give us an idea of which platform we can promote on.” Taeil looked up at the corner of the ceiling and hummed in thought.

Doyoung’s eyes caught yours, prompting you to pitch an idea. “How about we advertise to college students?” Both Taeil and Doyoung’s eyes were locked on you, totally immersed in what you were saying. “We can promote summer trips where they can have fun at the beach and amusement park and bring home food and enjoy the guest house.” 

They both nodded but you could tell they weren’t convinced. “College students probably want to barbecue and drink which in turn makes noise complaints and a bad reputation of the place in the community,” Taeil started softly. His kind eyes looked at you and you knew he didn’t want to shoot down your idea but it just wasn’t plausible. “Also, it’s quite high in price for each night so it’s out of budget for most college students.” You nodded in agreement, slightly disappointed in yourself at your quick suggestion. 

“Families are also a no-go,” Doyoung sighed. He placed his hands on the back of his neck in frustration. “Their kids won’t care about some fancy house, they’re most likely to stay with relatives or to just have a day trip.”

“Tourists?” You suggested. 

“They’re most likely to go to Seoul,” Doyoung sighed. 

“School orientations?” You said without confidence.

“Schools are going to budget and choose the cheapest option,” Doyoung refuted. “And this place can only house up to 4 people.” 

Every suggestion of yours was shot down and the morale of the group seemed like it was diminishing. You were all excited to get handed such a beautiful rental  until you realized why it was in need of marketing with all the difficulties that arose. You felt even more at fault as you were the one in charge of creative design and yet couldn’t come up with a theme. 

In your self-wallowing, you didn’t even notice that Doyoung left the room until he came back and set down a can of warm black coffee for Taeil, a cold can of milk coffee for himself and a cold iced mocha for you. “Did you go all the way to the Starbucks in the lobby?” Taeil asked as there were only vending machines with warm and cold coffee cans on the current floor.

Doyoung opened his can and started to sip his drink, “I met Donghyuck at the machines.” He handed you a straw and the coffee, “he said you didn’t like canned coffee.” 

Taeil nearly snorted the coffee out of his nose when he heard Doyoung’s last sentence, trying to repress his laughter while Doyoung shot daggers at him. “Thank you,” you said bashfully. 

Your cheeks were warming up from Doyoung’s sweet action while you were sipping on the sweet whipped cream topping until an idea popped into your head. “Couples!” Taeil and Doyoung looked up at you in surprise and confusion. “A guest house near the beach would be romantic! They’re not loud and will find tranquility in the silence and it’s less expensive than a hotel yet you get a better view and interior than a hostel.” 

The two men looked at each other in agreement. “That’s a great idea, rookie,” Doyoung smiled. 

The rest of the day went by like a blur. Making a bold move, Doyoung decided on creating a commercial compared to other teams who focused on making billboards or promotional events at food chains. A risky choice, but you trusted him. 

Taeil was glued to the phone all day with calls to directors, models, set designers, stylists, and everyone you needed for the commercial. You watched as the veins in his neck twitch slightly as he constantly negotiated outrageous offers when you would grab him water from the kitchen. 

And you were busy planning out the details of the commercial. The camera angles, the way the light hits, the clothing, the set, and most importantly the story. The first frame was of the couple cooking, eating, and in the hot tub to show the house’s interior. The second was of them along the beach, and b-rolls of nearby attractions to showcase the area. Finally the highlight was of the couple drifting off to sleep for a sentimental feel. 

As you were immersed in your sketch, you didn’t notice Doyoung peering through your shoulder. He was so close that his chin was nearly touching your shirt and you didn’t notice until he exhaled which travelled down your neck which the white shirt you wore exposed. You jumped and peered back at him, his face inches aways from yours as he didn’t move back. “Focused?” 

You nodded and whipped your head back in embarrassment. You could feel the blood rushing up to your cheeks and forehead, warming up your face. He sat onto the chair next to you and held your sketch in his hand to look at it closely. “This is great,” he said under his breath. He finally looked up and into your eyes. “Where’d you get the information for this?” 

“Hm, not information…” You began. “I wanted to show the benefits subtly while keeping the romantic aspect.” 

“It’ll work,” he said before standing up and walking over to the door. 

“How do you know?”

Doyoung didn’t turn around to answer you but he stopped in his tracks before replying. “Because it makes me want to go.” He left the room and shut the door but through the glass walls you could see the tips of his ears a bright red before he walked past the room. 

[thursday, 12:34pm] 

You looked at your watch nervously as staff scattered around the set of the guest house to get ready for the first shot of the commercial. The models were supposed to be on set at 9am sharp for makeup and hairstyling but they were nowhere to be seen. To fill up the time, the crew had shot b-roll first which put the schedule out of balance. 

Your hopes were up when Doyoung came into the door running straight to you until you saw that his eyebrows were twisted in disappointment and stress. “Taeil said they bailed,” he huffed. You saw beads of sweat rolling down his forehead. He was running around the neighbourhood looking for possible agencies nearby but there was no luck. Even if there was a talent agency, they wouldn’t do well without the script or a contract. 

“Why would they do this to us?” You asked out of frustration. 

“They said that they had a better offer,” he stood up and controlled his breathing. “I have a feeling that another team might have poached them though.” You would like to believe someone at the company wouldn’t do that but considering the monetary bonus and time off you wouldn’t be surprised. It was even less surprising that they decided to do it to Doyoung and Taeil who had both won before. 

“What do we do now?” You searched his eyes for answers but they were shaking with uncertainty. 

“We can get b-roll and figure something out later, we can’t go by the script now.” He opened his phone and checked the date. “We have until Sunday, four days is enough to redo our plan.” 

In a hurry he was about to walk past you to tell the film director until you grabbed his arm to stop him. “We can’t stop now, we’d be wasting our money on makeup, hair, stylists, all these people.  And what about all the time I’ve spent on this?” 

“Our budget was tight but we can make it happen,” he shook his arm out of your grip, Although he calmed his breathing from running before, it was getting more rushed with his growing frustration. 

Before he could turn around you blurted out to him, “what about my plan? All my hours overtime working on this, is it going down the drain?” 

He rolled his eyes, taking you aback at how coldly he was treating you. “Yes, unfortunately but that’s how it is sometimes.” 

Heat spread across your body. You weren’t sure if it was hurt, anger, or sadness. Maybe a combination of all three. You couldn’t believe that you spent four days putting so much thought and care into your dream board and it was all going down the drain. You felt stupid thinking that Doyoung believed in you and your ideas. But you felt even more stupid working harder because he was the one that believed in you. 

You were about to make a call to gather the staff to the guest house until Taeil burst through the door with a couple. He brought them to you and Doyoung who simultaneously walked over to them. “Donghyuck had some friends he knew in the area.” You thanked them awkwardly as there was still tension in the air. 

For the rest of the day, filming went smoothly and according to schedule although it was rushed due to lost time. Taeil went back to the office to deal with the mess that the sabotagers left your team while you and Doyoung stayed on set to make sure things went according to plan. 

“Alright that’s a wrap!” The director clapped his hands which prompted you and Doyoung to bow and thank every staff that left the door. When every person left, you locked the door to gather your things which left only you and Doyoung. 

As you put your belongings into your bag, in the corner of your eye you could see Doyoung pacing back and forth awkwardly. When you were ready to go, you stood up and were headed towards the door until you heard Doyoung speak out softly. “Hey.” You turned around to face him with your hand on the door knob. “I’m sorry.” 

Your hand gripped the smooth metal of the round door knob and grit your teeth to force out, “it’s okay. You said it happens.” 

He walked over with apologetic eyes and took your hand softly off the handle. “No, I was panicking and didn’t even ask you for your opinion or even Taeil’s before deciding to scrap your idea.” You were trying to avoid eye contact but he made it impossible as everywhere you looked he was trying to look into your eyes. You could see that he was earnest. “I know you worked hard on it.” 

You were left speechless. You wanted to forgive him but you were still hurt. You didn’t know what your feelings were, never mind how to verbalize them. He smiled softly, “how about we talk over a drink?” All you could do was nod. 

Once Doyoung got two bottles of soju out of the fridge, both of you sat on the wooden deck that faced the beach. The sky was a dark indigo blue and had tiny white stars scattering the sky. You felt the cool wind brush back your hair while the warm soju warmed your throat and stomach. “I worked hard on that story board.” You said it without thought and you didn’t look at him. The alcohol was lowering your inhibitions. 

Your eyes were fixed on the waves crashing onto the shore but from the corner of your eye you could see him facing you. “I didn’t do it with a lot of thought at first,” you turned to face him this time with a sad smile. “But I started to care about it because you said you liked it.” 

His eyes looked sad, “I really did.” Doyoung moved his body closer to you, his leg brushing over yours slightly. “I was being selfish when I thought I could fix it all myself.” You both listened to the soft sounds of the water in between moments of silence. “I’m glad it all worked out in the end though.”

“I reacted emotionally,” you sighed. “I should’ve stayed composed during the mess.” You laughed a little, “I’m sorry too.” 

You looked down at your thighs which were hanging off the wooden platform until you felt Doyoung lightly tap your head with his hand playfully, “why are you apologizing to me rookie? You don’t have anything to be sorry for.” He pat your hand reassuringly until he pulled away abruptly and placed it on the floor as he realized he let his guard down. 

You smiled and placed your hand on top of his, his surprised eyes met yours. “Thank you, for believing in me.” 

Doyoung laughed, it was the first time you’ve seen him laugh your whole year at the company. “Why wouldn’t I? I’m capable of having emotions too.” 

“So you’re aware that people think that you’re a cold robot that only works and doesn’t smile?” 

His bright smile turned into a pout with his eyes squinting at you at your teasingly harsh words, “I’m aware but that’s a little rough the way you put it.” He folded his arms across his chest, sulking slightly. 

You couldn’t help but laugh at his cute expression, “Donghyuck was right.” He turned to you again with the same pout and sharp eyes, “teasing you is fun.” 

Doyoung scoffed and shook his head in disbelief, “that little brat,” he muttered under his breath. 

“I think it’s cute,” you said to console him. He stopped in his fit and turned to look at you with an expression of amusement on his face. You instantly regretted saying that as the corner of his mouth upturned into a smirk with an eyebrow raised smuggly. You grabbed the soju next to you and took a long swig to try and calm your nerves. 

Once you turned to your right to set the bottle down, when you turned back to your right you said Doyoung’s face inches away from yours. You felt the warmth from his cheeks radiate next to yours and smelled his warm musky cologne from the nape of his neck. “That look on your face,” he said softly with his lips ghostly over yours. “It’s cute.” You closed your eyes as you felt him move in closer. 

His soft pink lips only grazed yours slightly until a phone call caused the both of you to jump back. Both of you patted your blazers down hastily to check your phones until he raised his hand up to you, “it’s mine.” 

He placed the phone up to his ear after accepting the call, “what,” he seethed into the phone annoyed at the caller and the fact that your moment was interrupted. 

Even though it wasn’t on speaker phone you could hear Donghyuck’s whiny voice blare through the phone’s speaker. “Doyoung-ah!” Doyoung muttered curse words under his breath and rolled his eyes. “Come play with me and Renjun, we need a ride home.”

“Am I your chauffeur?” Doyoung lectured over the phone. He placed his phone close to his eye with his hand covering his mouth to direct his voice over the phone and not to you, not realizing that he was talking loudly out of frustration making you laugh to yourself. “I’m on a business trip! I’m hanging up!” 

Before he could hang up, you heard Donghyuck slur out a teasing remark. “Oho, this late? Is it only with your ‘rookie?’ Hahaha I doubt you’d stay with Taeil this late-” Doyoung grit his teeth and hung up. 

Doyoung looked over at you and saw you trying to laugh quietly to yourself and his face heated up at the thought of you hearing their conversation. “So,” you began. “How are we supposed to make it back?” You held up your empty soju bottle, insinuating that you both couldn’t drive in your conditions. 

“There’s two rooms in this place,” Doyoung said while rubbing the back of his neck nervously. “We could each take a room.” He didn’t want you to take the wrong idea so he started to tipsily rambling, “there’s separate bathrooms too. I won’t leave my room and there’s locks on the door-”

“Sure, no problem,” you laughed. You stood up and brushed yourself off from the sand that wind blew through the patio. You held your hand out to Doyoung to help him up. His hand was warming up your cold hands as you pulled his sturdy frame up. “We can keep this a secret between us.”

[monday, 11:49am]

Applause filled the presentation room as team A with Yeri, Donghyuck, and Jeno finished their presentations. All of them were near your age yet presented their billboard design and pitch flawlessly with charisma and confidence. You watched them bow and walk off the stage while high-fiving each other and nervousness only grew in the pit of your stomach when you watched the stage engineer setting up your powerpoint. 

Doyoung looked down and saw your body shaking subconsciously. He placed his hand on your shoulder and gave it a reassuring squeeze, “hey. Believe in yourself, you should be proud of everything you did.” 

Although you appreciated the sentiment, you were still terrified of messing up especially with Taeil and Doyoung on your team. If you messed up then everyone would think that you dragged the team down with you considering you were the one with the least experience. 

Doyoung placed his other hand on your shoulder and turned your body to face him. He leaned down so that you two were eye level now. Sincerity was written all over his face as he gazed into your eyes, “don’t think of winning, or losing, or me and Taeil. Think about how nice it felt at the beach house and think of how much you want other couples to experience it too.” He turned you back to face the stage before letting go of your shoulders and giving you an encouraging pat on the back. 

You breathed in deeply and let out a long exhale before squaring your shoulders and walking out on the stage on cue of the director. 

[monday, 9:26pm]

“Cheers!” Taeil shouted in glee as he raised his glass of beer. 

“Cheers!” Everyone else followed as they bumped their glasses into the middle, with white foam lightly spraying on your shirts as the heavy jugs collided with each other. 

After the director announced that your team had won the competition, Taeil invited your group and other close colleagues out to celebrate with the bill on him. 

“This is what happens when you put two geezers on a team together,” Donghyuck whined as he took a sip of his beer. He made a satisfying exhale after his swig and slammed the glass down on the wooden bar counter like an old man. “It’s unfair. You should the young ones win for once.”

Doyoung’s eyes fired up as he glared at Donghyuck, “hey, just because we’re older than you doesn’t mean we're the oldest in the company! What about the people in their 40’s and 50’s?!” 

Donghyuck slapped his back twice, adding more insult to injury, “okay gramps, calm down don’t want you to get too excited.” 

Everyone at the counter laughed, already used to this exchange but never getting old seeing Doyoung getting continuously frustrated. As the other people got on to their private conversations, Doyoung turned his chair to face you and held his glass up, giving you personal cheers. While you took a sip, he set his cup down. “What are you going to do with your week off?” 

You wiped the foam off of your lips with the tips of your fingers before setting your drink down on the counter. “I’m not sure,” you shrugged. “Since everyone’s still working I can’t really go out with other people, so I’ll probably just stay home.” 

Doyoung shook his head, “what’s the fun in that?” 

You laughed, “oho, you’re one to talk about fun.” You teased and he smiled at you, not even pretending to be annoyed. “What are you going to do?”

“Stay home too,” he said regretfully. “Unless you want to rent the guest house with me?”

“Didn’t we already go there together?” You asked, excited about what his proposal was going to lead to.

“That was different…” His legs were wrapped around the bar stool and he was swirling back and forth nervously. “I want to go there for what our commercial intended…”

You tilted your head to the side in thought, “‘what our commercial intended?’” His eyes were looking at you nervously as you tried to get where he was going. “For couples?” 

He nodded shyly, “how about we go there as a couple?” You noticed his tipsy habit of rambling when he was nervous. Or maybe rambling was his nervous habit whether he had alcohol or not. “I mean unless you don’t want to, that’s completely fine. I don’t want to pressure you or anything, you can use your free week however you want. I’m not saying we’re a couple-” 

You placed your hand on top of his, “let’s go then.” 

Doyoung’s eyes twinkled under the bar’s hazy yellow light, “let’s see where it takes us.”

[kpopplayroom]

Secret Santa || CEO AU (S)

Jinyoung x reader

Word count: 2.k+

Merry Christmas everyone!

Work to home, work to home, this was your daily journey. You were a stockbroker for a major company, Park Enterprises. You were accepted straight out of university and you've been there for 5 years, and it paid off. You were near the top of the food chain, with your own employees.

Another Christmas had come. The gentle flickering of the Christmas lights on the one way glass of your office wall slightly illuminated your office.

"Merry Christmas" one of the interns knocked on the door

"Yes?" she held a bowl in her hand, every year your company held a secret Santa party, you hated it

The intern held out the bowl for you and you shuffled it around and pulled out a paper, you gave her a small smile as she left, closing the door behind her.

You shoved the paper in your bag and kept on working. You had financial reports to evaluate before next week. You pinched the bridge of your nose, the marketing team left on hell of a mess for you to clean up. You leaned back in your chair with a sigh.

It was almost 10 PM. You closed your laptop and picked up your handbag. You closed your office door, as you turned around you bumped into someone

"I'm so sorry" you gripped onto your bag to prevent the contents from spilling but a piece of paper fell out

Park Jinyoung

"That's ok miss" your eyes met his, you could feel your blood run hotter. The man in front of you was gorgeous

"Y/L/N, Y/F/N" he nodded his head before turning his back. Your eyes darted to the paper on the floor.

"What's your name?" You could her his footsteps pause for a moment

"Park Jinyoung" you picked up the paper and briskly left the 23rd floor. You got into your car and rested your head back on the seat.

Who the hell was this man? And why did you want him to take you on your desk?

You flung your bag on the passenger seat and drove home. You got into your apartment, flung you heels on the side and locked the door behind you.

You pulled off your jacket roughly and threw it on the couch, you dropped yourself onto the couch and took out your phone.

Park Jinyoung

You typed the man's name into Google. Your eyes scanned the search results.

Park Jinyoung

Park Jinyoung the heir to Park Enterprises recently took the position of CEO while his father kept the position of Chairman

You froze, when the hell did that happen? You rarely take vacation but you were on the hospital for a little while after getting your appendix removed.

You grabbed your laptop from the counter and went back to the couch. You still had unopened email, you grazed over them and one caught your attention, it was marked as urgent

NEW CEO

From the Chairman

Your groaned, you recieved this mail the day you went into surgery. How could you have missed this?

You froze, you were his secret Santa?

"You're got to be fucking kidding me. What the hell do I get a spoilt rich kid?" You placed your laptop down on the ground and laid down on the couch, there's no way you're figuring this out at 1AM.

You closed your eyes and slowly drifted off into sleep. The loud beeping of your phone jolted you awake.

You rolled off of the couch into the floor. You searched around for you phone and found it under the coffee table. You hit the snooze button grumbling to yourself

"I need coffee"

You strolled up to your office, the clicking of your heels were the only sound filling the air. It was 7:25, you got up at 5 and was always on time. You dropped your bag onto your desk and sat down, what were you going to get this man? When was this secret Santa party anyway?

You searched him up once more and tried to find something that could help you out and there it was right in front of you.

"Good morning" you slammed your laptop shut. Jinyoung leaned against the all, he wore a navy blue suit that accentuated his physique.

"G-Good Morning Mr. Park" he brought his cup of coffee to his lips and strolled into your office

He sat down in front of you and analyzed your office. You took out of cell phone to quickly place and order before getting back to him.

"So the secret Santa party is to tonight" you paused

"What? I thought I had time" he smirked

"Christmas is tomorrow, we work for half of the day and come back for the party at 7. I thought you would be the one in forming me about this" he leaned back in the chair

"Tell, what your position here" you furrowed your brows

"Head stockbroker"

"How long have you worked her for?"

"5 years" he nodded his head

"How would you feel if you ran marketing as well?" You frowned

"What about Anna?" He sighed

"That's not what I asked you"

"I'd take the job" he nodded

"Good. In the new year we'll talk more about it" he got up and left

"Holy shit, did I just get promoted? Wait!" You shot up from your chair and followed him

"Can I leave an hour earlier?" You stared at his eyes, you'd always known that you should keep eye contact but damn did you want to look about, his eyes felt like they were piercing you

"Go for it" you sighed in relief

When you we got home you were dead tired, 7 bags in hand as well as a cold brew. You got home at 4:45, you just wanted to sleep but you had no time. You needed to get ready and wrap the gift you got.

Somehow you were able to get to the office with 30 minutes to spare. The party was usually held on the top floor, this was where all gatherings were held.

You looked around the room a few people were there already, you greeted as many people as you could before you were approached by one man whom you'd been avoiding. One of the guys from HR was trying to take you out on a date and your weren't having.

"So to save time this year we're giving each other gifts through out the part not all at once" you nodded with a plastered smile in your face

"Here" he held out a small gift bag for you.

You cursed under your breath and took the bag, there were two tickets to a football game.

"Thanks" your eyes darted across the room to look for Jinyoung

"I was hoping we could go together" your eyes went back to him

"Y/N" you sighed

"Mr. Parks I was looking for you" you held his elbow softly pleading for him to help you

"Why don't we go to my office to discuss what we were talking a out earlier" you smiled and went with him without a word

You'd hardly ever been in the boss's office and it looked like it had been renovated the last time you were there.

"An admirer?" You scoffed as he sat on the edge of his desk

"I wish he wasn't" he chuckled

"Not your type" you made a gagging noise causing him to laugh again

"Who's the gift for?" He threw your head back in frustration

"Well it's for you" he frowned

"I didn't know I was involved" he took the bag from your hand

"I had no idea what to get you so I did some research and I saw that you had now watch on your hand. I called up an old friend and I was able to get you a vintage watch, it supposed to be worth a lot but I also got you a 50 year old wine-" he stood up and placed his hand on your mouth

"You're cute when you ramble on" your eyes widened

"It's an amazing gift, but you didn't need to spend so much" he took his hand off of your mouth

"You pay me pretty well" you shuffled from one foot to another and bit your lip

"How about we break open this wine? I have some bourbon for an extra pick me up"

You both were sat on the floor of his office, the door was locked, the bottle of wine had been discarded since you two finished it and you both were almost done with the bottle of bourbon.

You rested your head on his shoulder and giggle away at the stories he told from his years in university.

"You have really pretty eyes" he paused to look at you

"I love your lips" he ran a finger against your lips

There was not a word spoken between you two. You snaked his sem around your waist, pulled you onto his lap and pressed his lips against your neck.

His lips tailed up your neck to your jaw, he bit his lip before kissing you roughly. You he pushed your gently down onto the carpeted floor and climbed onto of you, his lips meting yours once again.

"What a hell of a Christmas" you chuckled

"What do should we go now?" He smiled mischievously

"Maybe I should give you a christmas present" his hands ran up and down your thighs. His fingers hooked onto your underwear and pulled them down.

He got off of you and nestled between your legs, his lips grazed over your inner thigh before meeting your pussy.

You arched your back at the feeling of his tongue. You gripped the carpet as soft means passed your lips

"Be as loud as you want princess, I'm sure everyone has already left" your breath caught in your throat as he begun to finger you

You shivered as he suddenly stopped, the sound of his belt buckle. You got onto your elbows and grabbed his shirt pulling him towards you, you pressed your lips against him and unbuttoned his shirt.

You groaned at the feeling of his solid chest. He wrapped your leggs around his waist. Your nails dug into his back as he stretched your walls.

Your back.met the carpet once again as his thrust became rougher. He tugged on your hair, pulling your head back, his mouth latched onto your neck.

It had been years since you'd let a man touch you. Your body was running on overdrive, you never wanted this to stop, his touch was addictive or maybe that was just the alcohol taking either way this was the best Christmas you've had in a long time.

You threw your arms around his torso and pulled him closer, you needed him closer. The sudden rush of cold air from the A/C made you shiver.

Your hand found his, your fingers were intertwined and he rested his forehead on yours. Your breathing quickened and you closed your eyes.

"Look at me" he growled

You opened your eyes, your chest rose and fell rapidly as you came, he groaned as your walls squeezed his cock.

His thrust slowed and pulled out. You leaned up, kissed him greedily and wrapped your hand around his cock; you pumped your hand quickly.

You felt warm liquid decorate your stomach. You let go of him and he dropped himself onto the floor and so did you.

You closed your eyes, you just had amazing drunk sex with your boss, what the fuck was your life?

You felt something soft touch your stomach, he was cleaning you up. You stared at him blankly, he dropped the tissue on his desk and laid next to you. You rolled over and rested your torso on his.You pressed your lips to his softly.

"So mister Park where do we go from here?" He shook his head with a smile

"Sober huh?" You giggled

"Very"

"I kind of like this" you rolled your eyes

"Kind of?" he laughed

"Maybe a lot. We can see where this goes but right now it doesn’t matter" he kissed your forehead

"Merry Christmas princess"

NYX

[let-it-raines]

Catch Me if You Can (7/?)

298 days. That’s how long Killian Jones was away from a baseball field. It’s less than a year, only part of a season for him, but it might as well have lasted a decade as he alternated between physical therapy and spending an excessive amount of time sitting on his couch.

But then he came back and won the World Series.

It’s something no one saw coming, and it’s certainly not something anyone who knows about his arm would predict. Now it’s a new season with new possibilities, and anything could happen. On-field reporter Emma Swan will be there to cover it all even if she is not his biggest fan right now.

Asking her out live on-air will do that.

Rating: Mature

A/N: Oh my, oh my! Something big happened last chapter, didn’t it? Sorry for the delay in posting! I got on a prompt kick and didn’t want to overwhelm you guys with words! But don’t worry! I’ve officially written 19 chapters of this story😱 and still have some more to go! Shout out to @resident-of-storybrooke for beta-ing all these bad boys!

Found on AO3: Beginning | Current 

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Tag list: @royalswan @shey-starsfury @sals86 @iam2307 @ashley-knightingale @snowbellewells @karenfrommisthaven @skyewardolicitycloisdelena91 @scientificapricot @captswanis4vr @emmas-storybook @ultimiflos @jamif @idristardis @nikkiemms @resident-of-storybrooke @tiganasummertree @wellhellotragic @bmbbcs4evr @onceuponaprincessworld @jennjenn615 @mayquita @captainsjedi @teamhook @kmomof4 @ekr032-blog-blog @ultraluckycatnd @cs-forlife @andiirivera@jonirobinson64 @mariakov81 @galaxyzxstark @qualitycoffeethings @thejollyroger-writer

-/-

One. Two.

One. Two.

One. Two.

It’s a repetitive motion that Emma can’t stop, her fist continuously hitting against the punching bag in front of her until she’s finished with her reps and every inch of her body feels like some kind of expired jell-o that’s at the bottom of her kitchen cabinets.

Why did she ever even buy jell-o? That is not something that she usually would have even bought unless she was randomly trying to attempt to make a recipe to take to dinner at David and Mary Margaret’s.

That must have been an odd day. What would she even have been making?

Emma drops the gloves she borrowed from the hotel into the basket, her hands slicked in sweat, and wipes her forehead down with the back of her forearm before bending down to pick up her phone and walk out of the gym. She can already feel that she overdid it today, that she’s barely going to be able to move tomorrow, but in the words of Elle Woods, happy people don’t kill their husbands.

Wait. What?

She definitely skipped forward on the lines there. She was most definitely leaning more toward exercise giving endorphins and making people happy or marginally less frustrated with the state of their lives. She’s on the second half of that spectrum, and she’s not afraid to admit it.

To herself at least. There is absolutely no way that she’s telling someone else what exactly it is that’s going on in her head. That’s probably unhealthy, but she’s not going to worry about that right now.

Ducking out of the gym, she immediately moves toward the back staircase of the hotel she’s staying in, avoiding the breakfast buffet area no matter how much she wants a bottle of water and something to eat. She bets they have waffles. But nope. No. She is not entertaining the idea, and she is not going there. The team is staying at this hotel (thanks David for nearly always booking them in the same place when that’s most definitely not necessary), and she is avoiding Killian Jones at all costs.

Because she kissed him.

(And he kissed her back.)

She fucking kissed Killian Jones, who is most definitely high on the list of people she should not be kissing, and yet she knows exactly how soft his lips are compared to the scruff on his chin. She knows that he makes this deep growl noise when she bites his lip, and she knows that he likes to focus on one lip at a time, specifically her upper one.

She knows that it feels damn good.

She knows a lot more than she should because she should never know how it feels to kiss him.

After he asked her out, after all of the fame and harassment and annoyances that came with that, she told herself that she would be pissed at him, that she would hate him and be annoyed and absolutely have nothing to do with him outside of a professional capacity.

That lasted for a solid two minutes once she saw him again.

It’s this…tether of sorts between them, and she doesn’t understand it. Their conversations are easy, even if they’re not always fluid, and she flirts with him. She knows that she does. She’d have to be blind and deaf and incompetent not to realize this, and she kind of hates herself for falling into the trap that so many others have fallen into. And it’s not that he has a full dating history, that he was once more known for who he was sleeping with than how his arm was working. That’s not it at all.

(Though she does have thoughts and questions and worries because she can spot a man running from something from a mile away, and that’s exactly what all of that had to have been. He was not sleeping around like that simply because he could.)

It’s her job.

She hates that she’s been flirting with him because of her job. She hates that she kissed him because of that.

Professionalism is important to her, and she’s hated how she’s rarely been taken seriously. A female working in sports, especially male-focused sports, is a rarity. Most women are shoved off to the side to only commentate on softball or women’s soccer (which is just soccer, by the way) or the WNBA. They’re not allowed to work with the men, the networks not promoting them, but Emma was promoted. She got the job even without much on-air experience, and even if it was partially because of David, she still did that for herself.

And she worked hard to make sure that she was taken seriously.

Then Killian Jones asked her out, and eighty percent of that effort went down the drain in one quick motion under the loud cheers of the stadium crowd and the rapid beating of her heart.

So, she can’t be kissing him in tunnels in the stadium or flirting with him over breakfast. She simply can’t. Because then there’s a picture of them somewhere, that picture makes its way to her bosses, and she’s having to sit in an HR meeting even though it’s not actually against the rules for her to date a player. But the rules don’t matter when it’s the rumors that will kill her.

Rumors make the world go round while also destroying lives all at once.

People will wonder if she’s been sleeping with Killian since before he asked her out. That’ll make them wonder if she slept her way to her job, which would validate the thoughts of so many people. If they date and break up, she’ll never be known for her job again. She’ll always be known as Jones’s ex, and no part of her is under the impression that she’ll be transferred to another team. She’ll be forced to interview him and record segments and commentate on his games.

All of her credibility will disappear, and she simply can’t do that.

Not when she’s been working so hard to build it up.

Neal was always making fun of her for her job, for her major, for her love of baseball, of tennis, of soccer, of anything. She put up it with it at first, being young and so stupidly in love that she thought he could walk on the moon without any help, but as the years dragged on, as she continued to work at ESPN while in college, it really started to take a toll on her that her boyfriend diminished her choices as if her career was a silly little hobby that meant nothing. She gets it. She’s not a doctor or a human right’s lawyer or a teacher. She’s not changing the world. But this is what she does, what she enjoys, and no one should ever be allowed to make her feel bad for that.

If you love someone, you don’t diminish their interests.

Neal made her feel like the shittiest person in the world every single time she put her job or school above him. Even if it was simply that she couldn’t go out to a bar with him because she needed to study, he made her feel like she was doing him some kind of disservice, like she owed him her time instead of giving it to herself.

The two of them had so many issues, some that she never got to resolve, but the biggest was that he consistently made her feel like she was nothing but a girl playing pretend in having a career and a family just like she’d been doing her entire life.

Asshole.

Walsh was the same way, but even he didn’t mess her up and make her question everything in the way that Neal did. If he did, she imagines her work experience would be even more different now, that having to see him occasionally would be more than a little annoyance.

Another reason dating someone she works with is a horrible idea.

Emma does all of this for herself because she loves it, but at the back of her mind, she can still hear his voice telling her that she’s not good enough and should leave all of this to the professionals. All she wants is for that voice to go away, for him to stop taking up space in her mind.  

And that’s exactly why she can’t make out with Killian Jones again. It would be a horrific idea in every single way. Her body says yes, her mind says hell no.

Okay, it could be that her body says hell yes and her mind says a very quiet no, but that’s not at all what’s supposed to be happening. Signals are getting crossed somewhere.

Once she’s to her hotel room’s floor, she pushes open the stairwell door and checks to make sure there’s no one around like the paranoid person that she is, before jogging down the carpeted hallway to her room. Ruby isn’t with her for this trip, so she’s got the room to herself. It’s quiet, and while Emma can appreciate that, she kind of misses Ruby. They’re pretty much attached at the hip at all times, so the few times a year where Emma travels and Ruby doesn’t or vice versa are a little lonely. At least she doesn’t have to room with someone she doesn’t really know. That happened once, and that’s an experience Emma never wants to have again.

Her phone rings in her hand, and she nearly drops it from the shock, only pulling herself together enough to answer and place it on speaker so that she doesn’t have to hold it up to her sweaty ear.

“Mom is pissed at you,” David practically yells to her, something he does whenever he’s walking outside the office. Sure enough, she can hear the faint sounds of traffic and construction.

Ignoring the fact that he just called Ruth her mom, something he always seems to do, she sighs and flops down on the bed, not caring how sweaty she is. “Because I missed Easter? I told her that was happening ahead of time. I’m literally across the country, David.”

“She misses you.”

“I talk to her all of the time.”

“That’s not the same as going home, and you know it.”

Emma huffs, kicking her foot against the carpet. “I know that, but I don’t have several days off until a few weeks from now. I can go spend a month up there once the season is over.”

“That’s not entirely true. You still work for us full time, technically. Not the team.”

“I know that.”

“I’m just saying – ”

“David.”

“What?”

“Is she really pissed at me?”

“No,” he exhales, the background noise disappearing in the way that she knows that it does when he’s walked back into the office. “It was different having a holiday without you is all. Maybe I’ll invite her to come stay with us when you’re home for a bit. That way it’s the best of both worlds.”

“Okay, Hannah Montana.”

“We are both too old for that reference.”

“I’m only a year older than Miley Cyrus.”

“That makes me feel ancient.”

“Well, you are.” Emma twists her hands in the sheets on the bed, causing them to wrinkle before letting go. “I have to be at the stadium in two hours, but I promise I’ll call Ruth tomorrow before I get on the plane to go to San Francisco.”

“She’d like that. How are you? How’s California? I feel like we never get to talk when you’re on the road.”

“I freaking love California,” she sighs, putting her phone to the side so she can get out of these sweaty clothes and into a robe. “The weather is so nice this time of year, there’s a beach, the food is great. The traffic sucks, but the traffic sucks at home too. I don’t know. I feel like if I had to live somewhere else, it’d be out here.”

“I’m pretty sure Mom will be even more annoyed if you move across the country.”

“That’s what you got out of that?”

“Pretty much.”

Emma groans as she struggles to get her sports bra off, having to tug and pull until it snaps free and slaps against her skin. “I would never leave you guys. Or Ruby and Graham. I need someone to cook all of my meals for me. I’m too dependent on that.”

“Like the adult you are.”

“Exactly.” She finally gets her bra off, which feels like some kind of triumph, and tosses it onto the desk where all of her notes for today’s game. “David, I’ve got to get ready for today, but I’ll talk to you later, okay? Tell Marg and Leo that I’m invading the house on my off day when I get home.”

“They’ll both be at school that day.”

“After they get home. I’m obviously going to sleep throughout the entire morning.”

“Obviously. I’ll talk to you later. Love you.”

“Love you too.”

-/-

The Dodgers absolutely obliterate the Yankees that afternoon. 11-2.

Killian gets pulled in the bottom of the third.

Will Scarlet nearly gets thrown out for arguing with the umpire.

August Booth loses his footing and falls against third base in a move that has everyone saying he has a wooden leg for all of his flexibility.

It’s an all-around disaster of a game, a horrible way to close the series, and when she goes into the clubhouse to try to talk about it and break down what happened, the only man who will even acknowledge her is Eric Fisher. He barely gives her anything.

Not a great day at the office for anyone.

-/-

It’s two hours after the game is finished that she finally gets back to the hotel. There’s a sour feeling in her stomach over it all, frustration with the loss and with her coverage. The guys are usually pretty good at talking to her, coaches and managers included, but sometimes when there’s a loss like that, no one feels like acknowledging her presence. It’s fine. Honestly and truly it is. She wouldn’t want to talk to an annoying reporter after having her ass handed to her on a silver platter either, but that doesn’t make her feel any better about anything.

Maybe the sour feeling in her stomach has to do with the fact that she hasn’t eaten anything other than a granola bar all day. She knows not to do that, honestly and truly, but since she’s trying not to eat in front of a camera after the last few games that she’s worked, she didn’t get something to eat at work today. She definitely should have stolen some of the fruit from the craft services table inside of the press box when she went up there to get her microphone.

After flipping through the room service catalog and deciding that there is no way in hell she’s paying that much for a bowl of pasta, she orders a box of pizza to be delivered, and starts scrolling through the channels on her television trying to find a movie to watch. She needs to pack up for her early flight tomorrow, but since she’s already in her sweatpants and has taken her bra off, that seems like far too much effort. She’ll do it in the morning. Working under pressure has always kind of been her thing.

Finally, she decides on Titanic. It doesn’t matter how many times she’s seen it before. It’s a classic, and it’ll keep her entertained. Just as Rose and Jack are standing at the helm of the boat with their arms in the air, her hotel phone rings.

“Hello?”

“Miss Swan,” the voice says, “your pizza is here, but you have to come to the lobby to get it.”

She groans a little before speaking. “Okay, that’s fine. I’ll be right there.”

Emma rises from the bed and hastily puts on her sneakers, tucking the laces into the shoes instead of tying them, and walks out of her hotel room so that she can go down to the lobby to get her pizza. This better be good pizza, but it probably won’t even matter with how hungry she is.

She finds the guy easily, handing him his tip as he hands her the small box, and she thinks she’s made it home free until she turns around and practically runs into Ariel Fisher.

“Hi, Emma,” she smiles, as bright and friendly as she always is. Seriously. She’s always friendly and polished, and Emma is literally wearing sweatpants and a tank top with no bra. Her shoes aren’t even tied. “How are you?”

“I’m great,” she says, forcing a smile. “How are you? How’s Eric? He didn’t seem to be having too great of a day.”

Ariel shakes her head from side to side and rolls her eyes. “They’re all a bunch of oversized children. Seriously. They lose nearly as much as they win, but they never quite stop complaining.”

“I think that’s all men, if I’m honest.”

Ariel barks out a laugh, her red curls falling back behind her shoulders as her hand lands on her chest over her heart. “Absolutely true. Hey,” she starts, eyes glancing over Emma in a way that makes her stomach twist, “a few of us are sitting up on the roof right now. They have a bar and this charming little firepit. Why don’t you join us?”

“Uh,” she stutters, pulling her bottom lips between her teeth and trying to think of an excuse as to how to get out of this, “thank you, but I think I probably shouldn’t intrude. I was fully planning on kind of vegging out on my pizza.”

“You can do that up with us! It’s fine! If any of them try to take your food, swat them away. They’ve all eaten. Come on. It’ll be great.”

She has the word no on her tongue but never gets to say it as Ariel smiles at her again and grabs onto her elbow, pulling her along with her. Emma could easily say no again and walk away, but she finds herself following along in the elevators and listening to Ariel go on and on about how much she loves when they get to be in California for a week like this, even if they don’t get to stay in the same city the entire time. Emma can wholeheartedly agree with this, so she continues to make small talk as the floors tick off and the elevator door opens up to the rooftop.

The sun hasn’t quite set all the way, so there’s an orange tint to the darkness of the sky that reflects off the stringed lights that move across the roof. The noise level up here is already much louder than downstairs, and she can see the bar full of people as well as the large firepit with chairs surrounding it. Immediately, her eyes scan over the group, and she recognizes Eric, Will, Arthur, Robin, Phillip and Killian. Of course he’s there. Why would he not be? She also sees Arthur’s wife, Jennifer, and Belle French, Will’s girlfriend. It’s odd to know all of these people without really knowing them, and she feels like an intruder coming up here to sit with them.

At least everyone is dressed the way she is, and she doesn’t look like a total slob.

Okay, maybe she does.

Shit, she doesn’t have a bra on, it’s kind of chilly up here, and her tank top is far too thin. Idly, she wonders if she can make a break for it and run right now, but everyone has already seen her.

“I found a stray in the lobby,” Ariel sighs as she walks into the circle and sits in a chair next to her husband. “I pretty much dragged her to sit up here with us, and no one ask her for her pizza. That’s hers, and she’s not sharing.”

“That makes me sound great. Thanks,” she chuckles awkwardly as her eyes scan the circle for a place to sit, and because the world hates her, the only open chair is right next to Killian Jones.

Of-fucking-course.

He’s very pointedly not looking at her, which she both appreciates and hates, and maybe that’s what drives her to walk around the circle, the fire warming her a bit, and sit down into the lounge chair next to him, her pizza box sitting on the table in between them.

“Your attire is a little different there than usual, Swan,” Will points out, dangling his beer bottle in the air.

“So is yours. It’s probably a good thing they make you wear a uniform because your clothes don’t match at all.”

The conversation dies down around her, everyone stopping what they’re saying, and she can feel the blush rising to her cheeks until Belle starts giggling, her hand covering her mouth as her wine sloshes around in its glass in the other.

“She’s right, babe. Your outfit is awful.”

“What’s wrong with it?”

“You have on a Hawaiian shirt, Scarlet,” Robin yells from his seat. “That isn’t even in style in Hawaii. All you need is a fanny pack.”

“I’ve heard those are coming back in style, actually,” Eric adds.

“Absolutely not,” Ariel laughs.

“Why do they call them fanny packs if they don’t go on your ass?” Emma questions in as she leans over and takes a slice of her pizza out of the box, figuring if she’s eating, she won’t have to talk as much.

“They’re supposed to be worn on your ass.” She twists her head to look at Killian at the same time that he looks at her, quickly glancing away and adjusting his faded Vanderbilt sweatshirt. “But people are assholes and steal shit, so everyone wears them on their stomach now.”

“Thank you, professor Jones,” Will mocks, doing a fake bow.

“I hate when you call me that.”

“It’s very fitting. You’re a know-it-all.”

“That is decidedly untrue.”

“I agree with Will,” Arthur adds in, and Emma can practically feel the tension between he and Killian simply by the tone of his voice. What the hell happened there? “You do act like you know everything.”

“I can guarantee that I don’t,” Killian grits out all the while she takes another bite of her pizza. She should have gotten popcorn instead because this is honestly like a show.

“It’s the way you talk,” Robin says kindly, and she subtly twists her head to the side to look at him. “You can’t help it. Your brain is always running through scenarios and coming up with questions and looking for more information. The way you look at stat sheets is insane. I think it all stems from your physics degree.”

“You have a physics degree?” she blurts out, and she can feel every head in the circle turn to look at her.

Outsider.

“No,” Killian says quietly, propping his jean covered legs up on the concrete rim of the fireplace. “I have most of one. I didn’t finish school before I got called up.”

“Huh, I didn’t know that.”

“There’s lots of things you don’t know about me, love.”

All of her intestines twist within her stomach, and she smiles at the intensity of his gaze before biting into her pizza crust. This is all a bit overwhelming yet fascinating, and this is probably the first time she’s ever spent time with all of these people outside of a baseball stadium. Well, except for Killian, but she’s decided that he doesn’t count.

“And most of them are not good,” Eric teases, only for Killian to hold up his middle finger at the man.

“Killian is fantastic,” Ariel gushes, betraying her husband. “Seriously. I love him, and you guys are all assholes to him sometimes.”

“Babe, I don’t think defending him like he’s in kindergarten is going to help his case. I don’t think he even has a case with Emma. Really, I’m surprised she’s even willing to be in a five-foot radius of him.”

“We can beat him up for you, if you want,” Will supplies.

“If you hit him in the face, though, he won’t be marketable anymore,” Belle laughs. Emma’s never really talked to her before, but she’s funny. That’s a good match for Will.

“I take offense to that,” Killian huffs, crossing his arms and letting his muscles flex under the material of his sweatshirt. “I am marketable for more than just my face.”

“Your ass is another one.”

“And technically your arm.”

“I’ve heard things about his thighs.”

“Oh, and his eyes.”

“That counts as part of his face.”

“You are all fucking assholes,” Killian laughs, his eyes crinkling as his head tilts back. “I spend all of my days with you people, being kind, helping with presents to buy for your wives and girlfriends, helping you win games, and all you do is give me shit in front of Emma when she already thinks that I’m the biggest ass in the world.”

“Not the biggest,” she corrects, the words flowing before she stops herself. Did she have wine or something today? Because she is not in her right mind. “I know at least a handful of people who I would put above you on that list. Will, for instance.”

A smile starts on the left side of Killian’s lips and stretches to the other, his white teeth on display as the now nearly completely fading sun sets a soft glow over his skin, making his tan deeper. She’s never going to deny that he’s attractive, that she’s attracted to him, but she has to deny the feeling of attraction that’s not physical. She’s kissed the lips making that smile, and her body tells her to do it again. But she can’t. Simply sitting up here with him is probably dangerous enough.

“You are much more fun outside of work, Emma Swan,” Will sighs, and it’s his voice that has her looking away from Killian and the way that his blue eyes were focused on her.

“I’m fun at work too, thank you very much. It’s just that with some of you guys, it’s like pulling teeth to get an interview. Eric was the only one who would even give me one today.”

“To be fair,” Robin sighs, “I wasn’t there.”

“No, no,” Eric laughs, kissing his wife’s head. “Don’t try to take this away from me. I got the gold star today. Maybe you’ll get it tomorrow.”

“Maybe I’ll also help us win tomorrow.”

From there it’s a roar of conversation, all of them debating back and forth about the game and what went wrong, what they should have done, what they will do next time. It’s a conversation she’s sure Al already had with them in the locker room after she left, but it’s still fascinating to see them have it in such a casual setting where they all have drinks in their hands or their phones out. She swears that August Booth hasn’t looked up from the notebook he’s writing in the entire time she’s been out here, and Arthur’s wife hasn’t said a single word, even to Arthur.

By the time that she’s been out there for an hour, goosebumps rising on her arms, she’s learned more about the personal lives of the players than she has in her three years of covering the team. Will is most definitely the one who jokes around the most, and Belle is always bringing him back to earth. Robin reminds her of David in the way that he plays the role of Dad despite being near the same age as most everyone out here. Eric and Ariel remind her of David and Mary Margaret too, except a little bit more fun, and it’s kind of this weird connection that she’s making between the people in her personal life and the people in her professional.

Robin, August, Phillip, Arthur, and Jennifer have all gone inside, each of them excusing themselves throughout the hour, and the roar of conversation has dulled to quiet ones between the six of them that remain.

She’s finished half of her pizza by this point, but since she’s starting to feel awkward again, she opens up the box and takes a slice out, biting into it only to see Killian take a picture of her eating with her phone.

“What the hell are you doing?” she mumbles, covering her mouth.

He smiles and takes another picture before putting his phone in his lap. “I didn’t see you eating on the jumbotron today, so I figured the tradition of people filming you needed to continue.”

“That’s really weird.”

“Never said I wasn’t.”

She finishes chewing and puts her half-eaten slice down on top of the box. “I have purposefully been avoiding eating while working since it’s obviously now a running joke.”

“That’s why I had to continue it.” He moves his eyebrows across his forehead, and a chill runs down her spine, causing her to rub her hands over her arm to combat some of the chill. “You cold, Swan?”

“I’m fine,” she lies.

“I can see the gooseflesh on your arms.”

“It’s fine.” She waves him away and adjusts her tank top, crossing her arms over her chest because she can see her nipples through the material. “Nothing the fire can’t fix.”

Suddenly Killian leans forward and grabs onto the nape of his sweatshirt, pulling it over his head. His shirt comes up with the movement, revealing muscles and hair on his stomach, and she glances down quickly before looking up to him holding his sweatshirt out to her, the chain he wears around his neck shining against his black shirt.

“Here,” he offers, a soft smile on his face.

“That’s not necessary.”

“Love, please. I know you can’t be warm. It’s fine. It’s just a sweatshirt, not a marriage proposal.”

She will do anything to have him not continue that kind of thought process, so she quickly takes the sweatshirt and pulls it over her head. It’s soft, obviously well loved, and probably about two sizes too big for her as the arms are a little long and the hemline would most likely land below her ass.

“Thank you,” she smiles, nodding her head. “I’ll give it back before I go to my room.”

“Of course you will. That’s my favorite sweatshirt. It’s not getting out of my sight.”

“Why do I feel like you would do murderous things if I don’t give this back?”

“Because I would.”

She laughs and curves her legs up underneath her thighs as the picks up her pizza again. She is eating nothing but vegetables tomorrow. “You want something to eat? It’s all I can offer in return for the sweatshirt.”

“Is it all just pepperoni and cheese?”

“Yep. It’s not like anything at home, but it’ll do.”

He nods his head and leans over to open the box, perusing the pieces before taking two and folding them together. “I think sometimes people try to add too much to their pizzas. Toppings are great, but sometimes simple is better. Classics are classics for a reason.”

“You’re one of those people who thinks everyone should read classic books, aren’t you?”

“They’re good.”

“Not all of them are.”

“You’re disturbed.”

“Maybe.”

“Thank you for the pizza,” he mumbles, taking a large bite as he adjusts in his seat, leaning in a little closer to Emma as they speak. “I’ll pay you back for it.”

“It was, like, ten bucks,” she promises, reaching her hand forward to touch his forearm to reassure him. “It’s fine.”

“It’s the gentlemanly thing to do to pay you back.”

“Oh, so now you’re a gentleman?”

He winks, and heat rises on her cheeks as her eyes glance from his lashes to his lips. “I’m always a gentleman.”

All of the sudden, his words sink in. He may simply be offering to pay for half of a pizza for her, but the implication of more is behind it. He’s asked her out on a date, they’ve shared a really good kiss, and she can’t do this no matter how much she wants to.

Oh wow. She wants to.

But she can’t.

Her career is too important to her, and she absolutely cannot ruin that, not now. Dating Killian, even considering it, is a horrible idea for approximately seventeen different reasons. He wouldn’t just break her heart if it didn’t work out, he’d break her career too.

It’s all too much, and even if they’re simply having a conversation right now, she can read between the lines.

Rising from her chair with a rapidly beating heart, she finally notices that all of the people around them have disappeared, only people she doesn’t know filling the seats.

“Swan?”

“Swan?”

“Emma?”

“Yeah?” she gasps, twisting her head back to look at Killian.

He smiles, and guilt settles into her stomach. “What are you doing?”

“I, um,” she mumbles, already taking a step away, “just remembered that my flight is super early tomorrow, and I haven’t packed. So I’ve got to go. Enjoy the pizza. I’ll see you in San Francisco.”

She’s running. She knows that she is. There’s no denying it, and she doesn’t even care until she’s in the elevator and the mirrored doors are closing in front of her to show that she’s still wearing his sweatshirt, the scent of Killian Jones overwhelming her.

[scribesofcalamity]

Scribes Love Story #1

Just a little drabble on how Ion and Akula met. I will likely do some for my other couples. <3

 Ion is Scribe’s main ranger and tracker. He's a college dropout, a Scribes fanboy, and an excellent tracker . He's pretty tall for an asura and quite muscular.

Akula is the opposite. He was top of his class, and he eventually ends up joining the inquest as a means to an end to help pursue his necromancy. He’s a smaller asura,thinner and much squishier than Ion. 

During college, Ion always admired Akula and watched from afar...until the fateful day when Akula cruelly offers to kill a small stalker cub Ion found and was hiding, after some other students drag it out.Ion realizes that maybe Akula wasn't such a cool guy. Ion socks him in the nose before scooping up his cub and leaving the colleges for good. Ion ends up joining the Pact to be a bit closer to his heroes,and by a stroke of luck, ends up getting chosen when Scribes current ranger ends up...busy during Heart of Thorns. Ion fits right in and stays with the guild,eventually becoming one of the top ranking members. 

Akula is a bit of a jerk. A snarky pretty boy,he sees lives as just something to be used. He doesn't have a lot of experience outside though,because he stayed in labs so much and had everything brought to him. When he becomes tired if the petty plans of the inquest, he decides to travel out to Rata Novus and see if he can find anything there. He makes it okay through the jungle, but hes not dressed well nor did he pack correctly. He had seen some pre-made packs being sold in the market,but he was to proud to just buy something. He's edging through some undergrowth near the edge of a cliff  when a large reptilian head shoots out. It’s a smokescale,and for the first time in a long time,Akula feels fear.

Turning to try and flee,he loses his footing and starts to fall, when someone grabs his arm. A bit in shock, he sees a large stalker barrel into the smokescale. He's roughly pulled back up the cliff and watches as his savior pulls out a large great sword and makes short work of the smokescale.

“What the hell are you doing?!” The larger asura yells at him and that’s when Akula realizes. Its that damn dropout. He had gotten a detention for that fight, the only mar on his college record thanks to this guy, this uneducated asshole. He flips out on Ion, who just watches him with a blank and super unimpressed stare. Ion just waves off all the hostility and starts going through his pack.

“Why did you bring this fresh food? You should have gotten some canned,unless you’re going to hunt every day. Not only is starting a lone campfire a bad idea but you didn’t even pack any matches? You're a necromancer aren’t you? I doubt the flames of the underworld are going to be that helpful in lighting a fire.”

Akula is just fuming by this time,embarrassment and anger shaking his small frame as Ion rambles on. Ion shakes his head and says that he'll escort Akula where ever he needs to go. Akula is intensely frustrated at this point but realizes that he has no combat experience and just had his packing and survival skills ripped apart. He begrudglingly agrees.

 Cue a 4 day trek through the jungle to Rata Novus because Akula had gotten super turned around from the beginning,and went in the wrong direction.

His constant irritation with Ion slowly becomes a resentful admiration for the ranger and his skills. He decides that maybe he should try to help at least catch some food

 Sneaking away from the camp fire,he finds a rabbit and slowly creeps up on it. His necromancy starts to invade its body and it struggles in pain and fear. He grins. This is like his experiments back home....suddenly a fist hits his jaw and he goes flying, his power cutting off. Ion rushes to the rabbit,but it's already to far gone. Hr slits its throat before whirling on Akula. “That was an innocent creature ! He wasn't attacking you. Animals deserve that respect too! You kill swiftly and thank them for that sacrifice. You don’t torture living beings.” His glare is enough to silence Akula for good. Ion mutters that they'll be to Rata Novus tomorrow. He takes watch somewhere outside the campfire, leaving the white haired necomancer to his thoughts. For once, Akula isn't feeling so smart and the emotions roiling through him are hard to describe.

The next day the trek is silent. Ion leads him into Rata Novus and then to the nearest camp. While Akula is discussing arrangements with them, Ion slips away with his pet.

Somehow, Akula feels really hurt by this. He spends his next few months working through the ruins but Ion is always at the back of his mind. When he goes out to catch food, he learns to set traps and tries to kill the prey quickly, although he's a bit clumsy. Living outside Rata Sum is giving him a new perspective and he considers that he was likely wrong in a lot of the things he had done.Days spent among the ruins become a soul searching internal monologue,alone among the crumbling past.

He asks the camp leader if Ion comes through often . At the head shake he feels a deep disappointment. He wants to see ion again and while he tries to convince him its just to show that prick that he's gotten really,really, great at this whole survival thing... there's something else too.

A few more months pass and Akula is trudging through some ruins when he's caught off guard by some Chak. His pack with his knife is too far away. He starts stumbling back a bit, readying his necromancer power,but he's frighted too, as he is quite outnumbered and hasn't had to deal with these creatures. Fighting was never his thing anyways. Backing away he suddenly bumps into something warm. An arm grips his shoulder.

"I really need to stop coming here. You're seriously nothing but trouble” 

A very familiar stalker and a baby wyvern rush from the shadows towards the attacking chak at a small whistle.

“Don’t move, okay?"

Akula feels his terror melt into relief,but then he realizes he's terrified again.The scar  covered arm pulling back the bow and the warmth at his back is definitely Ion and now he actually has to deal with him.

 Once the chak are dead, Akula takes a really long time to turn around.

He finally does and Ion is just looking at him questioningly. Akula stares at Ion’s hands,one still gripping the bow,before slowly moving his eyes up his chest and into the dark blue eyes.

A thank you is stuttered out and the curly white hair is ruffled around tense fingers as Akula quickly loses courage and stares back down at the ground. Ions eyes just widen with surprise and a good dose of embarrassment. Any onlooker may be able to see small tinges of blush on both their faces as they awkwardly make their way back to the camp.

Perhaps the future would hold something good?

[travisandersondatingblog]

Should I Text Him First? 4 Rules of When to Text Him and When to Wait

So you’re asking yourself about the new guy you just met: should I text him first? Or should I let him come to me?

According to a new survey by a well-known dating app, one out of three successful heterosexual relationships were started by the woman messaging first.

But that data doesn’t clarify the answer. It’s not always best for you to message first. So who should make the first move?

If you’ve ever wondered, “should I text him first? Should I wait?” then you’re far from alone. I’m willing to bet every woman who has ever dated has asked herself those same questions. And in this video and article, I’m going to answer them. Stay tuned.

Your Coach,

      P.S. If you need a little help in the texting department, check out my Love Texting Report. It’s got texts that you can copy and paste and start using today!

Should I Text Him First? 4 Scenarios

via GIPHY

Dating these days is totally different from what it was when you were in your 20s. Back then, you’d give a guy your number — your landline number — and wait impatiently for him to call. You might even pick up the receiver (cord or no cord?) to see if there was a dial tone…just in case your phone was broken and he couldn’t call.

Now, women still have that same impatience…but it’s around texting. You give him your number and wait impatiently, but chances are, he won’t call but will text instead.

By the way, this isn’t a great habit: research has shown that couples who text a lot (rather than call) are generally less satisfied with their relationships. So even if you start out texting, try to get him to move to the occasional phone call to balance things out. You just might have a happier relationship if you do!

Given that you’re a self-sufficient kinda gal, you might think to yourself, “To hell with waiting for him to text. I’ll just text first. What’s the big deal?”

In fact, initiating the first text can work, as we learned at the start of this article. But that’s not to say it always is the best course of action. Let’s dive into a few different scenarios and break down the answer to, “should I text him first?”

1. You Gave Him Your Number at a Party

You meet a gorgeous, gregarious man at a cocktail party. Before you know it, he has you in stitches. Funny guy! You spend the entire evening talking about everything under the sun.

When it’s time to go, you exchange numbers.

Should you text him first?

My advice — it may come off as a little old-fashioned — is no, you should not text him first in this situation. Let him text you first.

I know what you’re thinking: “What the heck, Adam? What if he never texts me?”

My response is: if he doesn’t text you, then there was no real interest in the first place. Look, he has your number. If he wants to text you, he absolutely will. Clearly, if he doesn’t text, there wasn’t enough spark for him.

Move on with your life. Don’t invest too much emotionally into this scenario. Stop telling yourself that he lost your number (eh, what? Did it fall out of his phone?) or that he’s been too busy to text. Let it go.

By letting him be the one to initiate the first text, you’re allowing him to invest more emotionally in getting your attention. Sure, you are stressed about waiting for him to send that first text, but guess what? He’s going to have that same apprehension when he does text because he’ll be biting his nails waiting for you to respond (and yeah, it’s completely okay to let him sweat a little).

When you first meet a man, you want him to pursue you and to wonder how you feel about him. Being too eager and texting him first may take the thrill of the chase away from him. So let him have that opportunity to pursue you…and don’t be instantly available.

Erika Ettin, the founder of dating website A Little Nudge, says that there is more perceived value when you make a man wait with your response:

“The less someone responds or reciprocates to one’s advances, the more perceived value the pursuer thinks this person has. So we try harder since this person must really be ‘worth it’ if he or she is in such high demand — in other words, this person is a scarce resource.”

And here’s a little trick that will take the question out of this particular scenario. Ask for his number and then send him a text on the spot. Technically you sent the first text, but the ball is in his court, so he’s got no excuse not to text you!

2. You Sat with Him and a Group of Other Colleagues at Work

Could this be the start of an office romance?

You work together, but you’re not in the same department, so you’re not worried that there’s a conflict of interest. You’re definitely interested, and you’re pretty certain he feels the same.

Should you, say, add him as a friend on Facebook?

I say yes. Why not?

But here’s the caveat: know what the policy at work is about dating co-workers. If you’re not sure, check your employee handbook or ask your HR manager. If there are rules against it, please don’t open this can of worms. It will only cause a headache down the road.

Hey: 14% of people say an office romance helped them enjoy a job they hated, so what have you got to lose?

However, if it’s totally cool to date other people in your workplace, friending him on Facebook is a great way to show a different side of yourself to someone who only knows your work personality. He might be pleasantly surprised, once he scrolls through your Facebook profile, to find that you’re really into salsa dancing (so is he!). That could lead to a great conversation about it and even a date!

And because Facebook has Messenger built in, once you’re connected as friends, you can message one another outside of the confines of your work email addresses. Taking your communication out of the workplace opens the door to him having the opportunity to message you and ask you out.

3. He Took You Out on a Date

So you’ve been in communication with this guy one way or another, and you just went on your first date. It went stupendously.

Should you text him first after the date?

Here I say absolutely yes. If he took you on a date, going to the trouble to plan the date and even paying for it, it is absolutely appropriate for you to text him and thank him for an amazing night out.

Not texting him that evening or even the next day could send the message that you’re not really interested, and you certainly don’t want to give him that impression! So send him a short text thanking him for the date. Close with “I look forward to seeing you again” so that he starts anticipating the next date.

I guarantee he’ll appreciate it. Men are like dogs (sorry guys!). When you reward him (thanking him for the date and saying how much fun you had), he will want to do the same thing to get more reward from you. So the minute he reads your text, he’ll be brainstorming future date ideas!

4. You Had Sex for the First Time the Night Before

If things went well in bed, why not text him?

Whether it was your first date or your 15th, you finally got intimate with this guy. It was pretty great, but you’re torn: if you text first, will you come off as needy? And what if he only wanted things to be casual and doesn’t text back? On the other hand, waiting might communicate to him that you didn’t enjoy yourself, and you don’t want him to think that.

“Arg. Enough already, Adam. Should I text him first or not?”

Okay, okay.

If the sex was indeed amazing and you want to see him again, yes, absolutely send that first text. If you’re already thinking about the next time you can hop in the sack with him, send a sexy text that will get him excited.

Conclusion:

Let me just say: there is no hard and fast rule, no set-in-stone answer to the question, “should I text him first?”

What I’ve given here is my own personal opinion. You can take it or leave it. I have, however, helped thousands of women find true love, so I might know a thing or two about what I’m talking about!

What it comes down to in the early stages of dating and texting, especially if this whole thing is new to you after a divorce, is going at his pace. He may move at a snail’s pace while you’re more of a cheetah. It may get frustrating. But if you pay attention to how long he takes to respond to texts or just his personality in general, you’ll be able to figure out his tempo and match it.

Don’t pursue him. Let him pursue you.

Now I want to hear from you! Do you agree with the suggestions I gave in any of these scenarios? Don’t be afraid to play devil’s advocate! Let’s start a dialogue about whether you should text him first in the comments below.

And if you need more resources to help you with your text game, download Love Texting today and spark a little interest from this guy!

The post Should I Text Him First? 4 Rules of When to Text Him and When to Wait appeared first on Sexy Confidence.

from Meet Positives SM Feed 3 http://bit.ly/2BMvG4W via IFTTT

[fayecallasdatingblog]

Should I Text Him First? 4 Rules of When to Text Him and When to Wait

So you’re asking yourself about the new guy you just met: should I text him first? Or should I let him come to me?

According to a new survey by a well-known dating app, one out of three successful heterosexual relationships were started by the woman messaging first.

But that data doesn’t clarify the answer. It’s not always best for you to message first. So who should make the first move?

If you’ve ever wondered, “should I text him first? Should I wait?” then you’re far from alone. I’m willing to bet every woman who has ever dated has asked herself those same questions. And in this video and article, I’m going to answer them. Stay tuned.

Your Coach,

      P.S. If you need a little help in the texting department, check out my Love Texting Report. It’s got texts that you can copy and paste and start using today!

Should I Text Him First? 4 Scenarios

via GIPHY

Dating these days is totally different from what it was when you were in your 20s. Back then, you’d give a guy your number — your landline number — and wait impatiently for him to call. You might even pick up the receiver (cord or no cord?) to see if there was a dial tone…just in case your phone was broken and he couldn’t call.

Now, women still have that same impatience…but it’s around texting. You give him your number and wait impatiently, but chances are, he won’t call but will text instead.

By the way, this isn’t a great habit: research has shown that couples who text a lot (rather than call) are generally less satisfied with their relationships. So even if you start out texting, try to get him to move to the occasional phone call to balance things out. You just might have a happier relationship if you do!

Given that you’re a self-sufficient kinda gal, you might think to yourself, “To hell with waiting for him to text. I’ll just text first. What’s the big deal?”

In fact, initiating the first text can work, as we learned at the start of this article. But that’s not to say it always is the best course of action. Let’s dive into a few different scenarios and break down the answer to, “should I text him first?”

1. You Gave Him Your Number at a Party

You meet a gorgeous, gregarious man at a cocktail party. Before you know it, he has you in stitches. Funny guy! You spend the entire evening talking about everything under the sun.

When it’s time to go, you exchange numbers.

Should you text him first?

My advice — it may come off as a little old-fashioned — is no, you should not text him first in this situation. Let him text you first.

I know what you’re thinking: “What the heck, Adam? What if he never texts me?”

My response is: if he doesn’t text you, then there was no real interest in the first place. Look, he has your number. If he wants to text you, he absolutely will. Clearly, if he doesn’t text, there wasn’t enough spark for him.

Move on with your life. Don’t invest too much emotionally into this scenario. Stop telling yourself that he lost your number (eh, what? Did it fall out of his phone?) or that he’s been too busy to text. Let it go.

By letting him be the one to initiate the first text, you’re allowing him to invest more emotionally in getting your attention. Sure, you are stressed about waiting for him to send that first text, but guess what? He’s going to have that same apprehension when he does text because he’ll be biting his nails waiting for you to respond (and yeah, it’s completely okay to let him sweat a little).

When you first meet a man, you want him to pursue you and to wonder how you feel about him. Being too eager and texting him first may take the thrill of the chase away from him. So let him have that opportunity to pursue you…and don’t be instantly available.

Erika Ettin, the founder of dating website A Little Nudge, says that there is more perceived value when you make a man wait with your response:

“The less someone responds or reciprocates to one’s advances, the more perceived value the pursuer thinks this person has. So we try harder since this person must really be ‘worth it’ if he or she is in such high demand — in other words, this person is a scarce resource.”

And here’s a little trick that will take the question out of this particular scenario. Ask for his number and then send him a text on the spot. Technically you sent the first text, but the ball is in his court, so he’s got no excuse not to text you!

2. You Sat with Him and a Group of Other Colleagues at Work

Could this be the start of an office romance?

You work together, but you’re not in the same department, so you’re not worried that there’s a conflict of interest. You’re definitely interested, and you’re pretty certain he feels the same.

Should you, say, add him as a friend on Facebook?

I say yes. Why not?

But here’s the caveat: know what the policy at work is about dating co-workers. If you’re not sure, check your employee handbook or ask your HR manager. If there are rules against it, please don’t open this can of worms. It will only cause a headache down the road.

Hey: 14% of people say an office romance helped them enjoy a job they hated, so what have you got to lose?

However, if it’s totally cool to date other people in your workplace, friending him on Facebook is a great way to show a different side of yourself to someone who only knows your work personality. He might be pleasantly surprised, once he scrolls through your Facebook profile, to find that you’re really into salsa dancing (so is he!). That could lead to a great conversation about it and even a date!

And because Facebook has Messenger built in, once you’re connected as friends, you can message one another outside of the confines of your work email addresses. Taking your communication out of the workplace opens the door to him having the opportunity to message you and ask you out.

3. He Took You Out on a Date

So you’ve been in communication with this guy one way or another, and you just went on your first date. It went stupendously.

Should you text him first after the date?

Here I say absolutely yes. If he took you on a date, going to the trouble to plan the date and even paying for it, it is absolutely appropriate for you to text him and thank him for an amazing night out.

Not texting him that evening or even the next day could send the message that you’re not really interested, and you certainly don’t want to give him that impression! So send him a short text thanking him for the date. Close with “I look forward to seeing you again” so that he starts anticipating the next date.

I guarantee he’ll appreciate it. Men are like dogs (sorry guys!). When you reward him (thanking him for the date and saying how much fun you had), he will want to do the same thing to get more reward from you. So the minute he reads your text, he’ll be brainstorming future date ideas!

4. You Had Sex for the First Time the Night Before

If things went well in bed, why not text him?

Whether it was your first date or your 15th, you finally got intimate with this guy. It was pretty great, but you’re torn: if you text first, will you come off as needy? And what if he only wanted things to be casual and doesn’t text back? On the other hand, waiting might communicate to him that you didn’t enjoy yourself, and you don’t want him to think that.

“Arg. Enough already, Adam. Should I text him first or not?”

Okay, okay.

If the sex was indeed amazing and you want to see him again, yes, absolutely send that first text. If you’re already thinking about the next time you can hop in the sack with him, send a sexy text that will get him excited.

Conclusion:

Let me just say: there is no hard and fast rule, no set-in-stone answer to the question, “should I text him first?”

What I’ve given here is my own personal opinion. You can take it or leave it. I have, however, helped thousands of women find true love, so I might know a thing or two about what I’m talking about!

What it comes down to in the early stages of dating and texting, especially if this whole thing is new to you after a divorce, is going at his pace. He may move at a snail’s pace while you’re more of a cheetah. It may get frustrating. But if you pay attention to how long he takes to respond to texts or just his personality in general, you’ll be able to figure out his tempo and match it.

Don’t pursue him. Let him pursue you.

Now I want to hear from you! Do you agree with the suggestions I gave in any of these scenarios? Don’t be afraid to play devil’s advocate! Let’s start a dialogue about whether you should text him first in the comments below.

And if you need more resources to help you with your text game, download Love Texting today and spark a little interest from this guy!

The post Should I Text Him First? 4 Rules of When to Text Him and When to Wait appeared first on Sexy Confidence.

from Meet Positives SM Feed http://bit.ly/2BMvG4W via IFTTT

[topicprinter]

None of you know me IRL (at least not that we know of), I am what most would consider an exceedingly even-keeled, well-mannered person. It's true both in what I outwardly show as well as internally - a necessary result of dealing with the stresses and frustrations of relying 100% on your startup to fund your life.That said, right now as I sit down to write this, it is because I am so angry that I can barely see straight - mad enough that I know I have to write today off as zero productivity. So, while this may come across as obvious, self-induced self pity, I'm writing in genuinely in the hopes that it saves someone the exact feelings I'm having right now. This is the story of how a well-meaning, relatively intelligent, too-trusting entrepreneur created amazing things, and made silly mistakes the result of which cost him literally hundreds of thousands of dollars and many years of unnecessary financial stress.TL,DR; This is long, your time is valuable - here is the jist:Document EVERYTHING in writing. Your best friend / partner / cofounder / priest / brother / etc. will screw you over in a heartbeat some time down the road and it's impossible to know when or how. So, get in the habit from Day 0 of documenting not only every agreement you make, but everything you invest time in (including exactly how much time and when) that is supporting someone else's cause.I was going to write this out as short stories for each of these 3 points, but honestly the stories are too long, too complicated, and the view is the view regardless of whether you know the route we climbed. So, I will boil these down to just the critical lessons.Background In 2009 I left the corporate world (not exactly by choice, but that's another story!) and started a small design consulting business. I had been an automotive enthusiast for years, had a new found passion for 3D CAD modeling, and intended to do contract-design work for the automotive performance (racing and modding) market. I had some good luck and was able to get rolling, though it too years before the business was actually making money. I have since pivoted that company (to manufacturing and selling B2B and B2C parts we designed) and sold it for a modest sum. All these 3 stories relate to that company though I retained ownership of the product mentioned in the 3rd story after the sale of the company.Mistake 1 circa 2010I found it nearly impossible to get paid royalties I was due for products in a timely manner (I licensed the design, I did not manufacture them). When I did get paid, the lifetime value of the amount I got was equivalent to roughly $9/hr for the time it had taken to do the design and validation work. Eventually they had a shop copy my parts, stopped paying me any royalties whatsoever, and then "sold their business" for a significant amount of money to another company who now claims (though they know otherwise) they bought the rights to those designs. Estimated annual sales of the designs in question is $100-$175k.Lesson 1: RoyaltiesRoyalties should be ideally based off MSRP assuming you control that number. If not, you can come up with a separate, legal schedule showing each product and the royalty calculationYou MUST HAVE a royalty agreement (a contract) even if it's simple that covers the basics, it should have at least the following: royalty calculation, periodic (monthly or quarterly) sales audits, explicit verbiage indicating you retain all ownership of the copyrighted design work, and a non-circumvent that precludes your licensee from tweaking the color/shape and claiming it's no longer your designYou must include a volume-per-time frame requirement and have an actionable plan to deal with under performing licenseesNEVER give exclusivity to a particular licensee unless the volume commitment is astronomical and failure to meet that commitment immediately revokes exclusivityManaging a royalty deal is non-trivial from a number of perspectives. It can sound very enticing (and in many cases is used successfully), but as a startup - tread carefully hereMistake 2 circa 2011From early 2011 until mid 2016 I did engineering and design work for a guy (we'll call him MouthOnFace) who had an actual good idea, but not the technical skills or cash to turn it into something. We had a handshake deal at the very beginning that I would get an equity stake so I would bill him occasionally once he had some funds (which he did not for the first year we worked together) but I would also put in a lot of sweat equity. It has turned out poorly. Long story, but here are the lessons:Lesson 2: Delayed GratificationIf you are doing any kind of work in kind or in exchange for ANYTHING, document every hour of work you do and every dollar you spend to get it done (travel, supplies - anything)If you agree to offer a discount on some work in exchange for whatever it is, record the sale at full price, the discount with an explicit explanation why as another line item on each invoice - this makes a great and concise paper trailBe very careful about equity agreements in general. MouthOnFace has started 4 different LLC's during his fund-raising spree and as of right now zero of them are still operating (though I believe one is only playing dead). So MouthOnFace is claiming any promises of equity made were for another company and not relevant to this oneWeigh carefully how much you want to invest - how far you want to lean out into this venture - and track your actuals against that targetTomorrow I am filing suit against MouthOnFace to recover nearly 900 hours of work I did - unpaid - at a time when those hours could have been far better spent on other cash-generating projects. I am not a lawsuit kind of guy, but there is no other resolution to this.Mistake 3 circa 2015I was flattered and honored to be asked to design a fairly complex product for a leader in the performance industry - let's call them WellRespectedShop. They had tried to tackle it internally but could not come up with a good solution. I literally worked on it for a week, and they loved my design so we built and sold them. During a visit there, they mentioned another problem they'd been working on for years and had never come up with a satisfactory solution. As it turned out, I had been thinking about exactly the same problem and come up with an idea that I thought was a slam dunk. In fact, I had even built a prototype.This morning I woke up to news that WellRespectedShop is about to release a new product...Lesson 3: Patents and NDA's in the Real WorldIf you are working on something that is legitimately patentable (a whole other topic), you will be in this situation: you want it protected but do not have the cash to get an actual good patent filed, so you MUSTGet a (much cheaper) NDA around the specific tech you want to demonstrate - I skipped this step. Get it signed by anyone and everyone you show it to. Many NDA's (like mine back then) are so stupidly broad (cheap!) that people carte blanche refuse to sign them (like I do!)Record, in writing, and have both parties sign any time you share access to this technology (I did NOT skip this step, thankfully)If there is interest, by gawd do everything in your power to move forward QUICKLY. The 1-year life on your provisional sounds like a long time, but it is not. Move now. Sooner than now if possible.If possible, demonstrate the function of your device without showing the "how it works." Not always possible, but in our case a cutaway prototype that we thought would be helpful was essentially the open kimono that gave them everything they neededI was too excited to share the beauty and simplicity of my solution, and too excited to be "there" with the big kids that I let my guard way down and now, even though I have filed a Utility Patent on the design, I am left with no bargaining power beyond how much I'm willing to pay an attorney to argue on my behalf with one of their team of attorneys (who are riding a far taller pile of cash)If you made it this far, thanks for reading. Know that writing this has been somewhat cathartic and as I finish it up (some 10 hours after I started it) I'm back to calm(ish) and cool(ish). We'll win our lawsuit against MouthOnFace and I will make a surprise visit to WellRespectedShop soon to at least have a face-to-face conversation with the owner about exactly wtf is going on. But, there is a very good chance that best case scenario is we both make the parts and try to not cross streams.Document the work you do. Believe in the value you create strongly enough to know that others will try to capitalize on it. Don't be jaded, but understand that in business your best buddy today can be your mortal enemy tomorrow and it may have not a thing to do with you.Good luck in all your endeavors, and I sincerely hope my foolish mistakes can help someone else avoid at least one. Cheers all, off to bed.

[azabbot-blog-blog]

King of the Mods: May Update

Roster analysis, summary of season to date, projected plans:

C: Jason Casto, Gary Sanchez on the DL - Castro is operating merely as a stopgap during Sanchez’s injury, and he’s doing so quite poorly. When I did my draft preparation, I only mocked out the 13 catchers I valued as draftable, given there were 13 teams. Subsequently, I was surprised that when the season began, multiple teams spend backup roster spots on 2nd catchers. This has left the waiver wire for catchers depressingly thing, however, it has allowed me to pick up multiple bench bats that likely would not have been available in similar 13-team leagues. But we’ll explore that in a bit. As for now, I’m greatly looking forward to Sanchez’s probable return from the DL this week.

1B: Edwin Encarnación, Albert Pujols - Ostensibly, this position would be manned daily by Edwin Encarnacion, however, he has been off to a meager 9/1/9/1/.200 start. EE fell to me as pick 35 in the draft, but it’s easy to see why some layed off the aging slugger type. Pujols was drafted for the same reason. He fell multiple rounds beyond his ADP, seemed like a good value, however, has hit only 7/3/22/0/.231. He has at least been above average in RBIs to date, ranking 4th among 1B eligible hitters. This position probably requires an upgrade somewhere down the line.

2B: Trea Turner, César Hernández - Turner was my 1st round pick, and after a short DL stint, has rocketed back to a 15/2/13/4/.317 line that would look decent even without his injury. Turner’s value will take a slight hit as Adam Eaton’s season ending ACL tear will result in Turner batting leadoff instead of second. While this will cut into his RBIs, hopefully it should trade off with more SBs. We shall see, but early returns suggest my modest reach in the 1st round will pay off. Hernandez was a waiver-wire replacement during the Turner injury, but has been too good to just drop upon Turner’s return. He’s rocking a solid 20/4/10/3/.323 line that has him as the 44th ranked player overall so far. And while his batting average likely won’t stay so far north of .300, I intend to keep running him out daily until the falloff occurs.

3B: Alex Bregman, Joey Gallo, Nick Castellanos - Oooof. This one hurts. Bregman has been a disaster in April, hitting 6/0/6/2/.250. He’s been dropped to 9th (!!!) in the batting order and has looked awful doing so. One of my big decisions during the draft was knowing I’d be hoping for one of the breakout 3B, then grabbing Bregman because I was worried Jake Lamb would be drafted out from under me. It doesn’t really help the ol’ ego that Lamb has been outstanding during April. As a result, I’ve made two roster moves to try to bring in help. The last week of April, I picked up Joey Gallo, who despite his batting average, has been the 54th best player in April. Gallo has been replacing an injury Adrian Beltre for the Rangers, and it looks like Beltre’s absence will continue for the time being, meaning Gallo will stay on my active roster as well. As of this morning, I won a waiver claim for Nick Castellanos, who has a decent line of 15/3/14/0/.245, however, his underlying statistics suggest a rise in batting average. The Tigers have still been hitting him 3rd in their lineup, so if his average does increase, his counting stats should ride shotgun. If not, he didn’t really cost me anything except league legend Stephen Piscotty.

SS: Corey Seager, Chris Owings - If my 3B has been an ER toxic waste spill, SS has been unlimited free cream soda. The shortstop position has been an overall drain throughout fantasy baseball. Only 4 SS-eligible players finished April in the top 125 overall, and with Turner switching positions, I have 3 of ‘em. Owings was an early waiver add, not for position (he’s also OF eligible), but because he was producing fantastic results. While Owings probably won’t keep up his 30ish, HR pace, the Diamondbacks have taken an extremely free love position regarding stolen bases, so his 7 swipes so far don’t seem like an anomaly. Corey Seager remains a delight to own as he basically scores a run, picks up an RBI, or hits a HR seemingly every day, all while showing every consistency of a true .300 hitter. Fantasy baseball can be a serious grind with lots of ups and downs and I love having a player who fills out part of the stat sheet every time I check it. This position is set for the foreseeable future.

OF: Carlos Gonzalez, Adam Duvall, Steven Souza - Speaking of ups and downs, OF has been acceptable if slightly frustrating. Duvall personifies the grind of fantasy in that while there do seem to be a lot of 0/4 days, he finishes April ranked 55th with a line of 16/7/17/2/.247. I expect him to basically just repeat that, rarely a little more or more often a little less, each month from here on out. Steven Souza was another early wire move that has produced and is showing few signs of slowing. He’s hitting 14/4/17/0/.330 and while he has bounced between leadoff and 5th in the lineup (depending on pitching matchups), his position on the team is secure. I have to give credit to si.com for suggesting Souza as a post-hype breakout and providing that “credible expert” juice that convinces me to roster/keep him. Carlos Gonzalez was the third in my trio of players in the “I drafted them despite not really planning to because they slipped noticeably, but they’re kind of old and they were all disappointing in the first month, so maybe every one else is smarter than I am” category. Ah that category, a classic fantasy baseball trope I’m sure all are familiar with. Anyway, Gonzalez has looked pretty lame in the otherwise above-average Rockies offense. Hopefully he won’t be traded and he can start getting in on that sweet sweet Coors action.

SP: Stephen Strasburg, Danny Duffy, Michael Pineda, Danny Salazar, Vince Velasquez - My SP strategy is usually based on K/9 and K/BB ratio. It’s usually my experience that those stats best predicts fantasy success. It isn’t really killing it for me yet. I finish April in 11th place for ERA and 9th for WHIP. Strasburg, Duffy, and Pineda have performed to expectations so far. Strasburg has been a little unlucky with his W-L record given the Nats offense, and I don’t expect any runs support for Duffy whatsoever. Pineda has been a K/BB monster and I’m really counting on his long-awaited breakout to continue. I’m nervous regarding his start this week against the Cubs, but this is the kind of game you expect an excellent pitcher to be able to manage. Salazar and Velasquez have been frustrating owns, but have too many underlying advanced metrics to give up on quite yet. Maybe I won’t live to regret it, but I intend to keep running them out there for all their starts. However, if I see one more article on how Salazar is a secret ace, I might have to burn down the Rock ‘n Roll Hall of Fame. Actually, I should probably come up with a punishment for each city if these guys don’t stop giving up HRs. Maybe that’s the counterpoint to guys who throw a lot of strikes and miss a lot of bats. When they get hit, they get hit hard. Vince Velasquez, the Liberty Bell’s fate rests with you.

RP: Neftali Feliz, Hector Neris, Matt Bush, Santiago Casilla - My makeshift RP crew will mostly pass without comment. I’m unsure if any will finish the season as closers, but all have the ability and opportunity to do so. We shall see. That’s really what I should rename this team. Getting back into fantasy baseball can be tricky. Sometimes you gotta grab the guys who seem like they’ll succeed and just wait and see.

Current Standings:

Runs - 109. Tied for 9th. League leader: 133

HRs - 29. Tied for 8th. LL: 39

RBIs - 112. 5th. LL: 120

SBs - 18. 5th. LL: 31

Average - .234. Last. LL: .292

Wins - 14. 2nd. LL: 15

Saves - 13. Tied for 5th. LL: 25

Ks - 227. 1st (Yay).

ERA - 4.19. 11th. LL: 2.65

WHIP - 1.25. 9th. LL:1.05

Projected Plans: I intend to try to stay active on the waiver wire (I’m tied for the 3rd most roster moves to date), however, usually by about now most hitters that are going to be playable long-term have been picked up. I’ll try to keep an eye on pitchers, but I’m usually much more hesitant to give up on a starter than most, often to my detriment. I really have no idea how willing teams are to trade in this league, but I feel like I have to try to leverage my SS position at some point. If all 3 keep up the elite production, I’ll attempt to upgrade my 1B or potentially OF. As always, We Shall See.

[t-baba]

6 Unexpected Mistakes That Keep Developers from Getting a Raise

Good performance is never enough.

Imagine working hard. You have an "above average" track record. You've never heard complaints — you even won the coveted "best employee" award last month.

So, your company decides to reward you by...

Demoting you.

Sounds bizarre and untrue, doesn't it? Who'd be thick enough to punish an employee for doing a great job?

Doing a Great Job Isn't Enough

AntarcticGorillas, a StackExchange user, shared the story above. He was genuinely frustrated because he did everything he was supposed to do, but ended up getting demoted instead.

Another StackExchange user dishes out some advice.

"Wow sounds like you failed to play the office politics game effectively. Good performance is never enough. You don't play the game and you lose, 100% of the time if you are in management."

He takes his bad advice even further.

"Ok now you have to salvage what is left. First, and I know you are going to hate this one, you have to make friends with your new boss. You have to get him to mentor you. You have to help him and not show your resentment. Yeah I know you resent him, you wouldn't be human if you didn't. But this is the time to take the high road. This guy clearly has the office politics down pat, you need to learn from him."

His advice is partially true. Good performance isn't enough. It's the baseline.

His advice to lie and manipulate? That stinks. But it isn't the worst part. It's the belief behind it.

I'm a _ Worker, I Deserve a Raise

As employees, we have the tendency to think we "deserve" it.

Developers do a great job. Most of us do everything we're supposed to do. Still, many are disappointed with the money they're making.

We know that many employers do their best to underpay. They walk a fine line, giving just enough to keep us on board, without affecting the profit margins they want.

It seems like your boss takes advantage of you.

You're working your hands to the bone. You're doing everything you're asked to do and more. When your company's in a bind, you deliver. Last minute updates? You get things done. Issues with scope creep? You handle it masterfully.

When you don't get the raise you deserve, it feels like an insult.

More often than not, the issue has less to do with your work performance and more to do with the intangible details. Behaviors and counterproductive decisions that alienate allies, partners and opportunities. These mistakes make it harder to get the raise we're hoping for.

Social conditioning leads many to ignore this stuff. "Ugh! Soft skills," you might say. But these unexpected, common mistakes impact raises every day.

Mistake #1: What I Deserve vs What I Want

There's a growing problem that's slowly eroding good will in the developer community.

Entitlement.

Open source entitlement is a great example. It goes like this:

Developer needs code to solve a problem

Developer finds open source code. It solves the problem

Code creates problems

Developer becomes angry, demands authors fix now. (For free!)

It's an oversimplification but it conveys the point. These open source authors aren't at our beck and call. It's a terrible idea to demand extensive tech support, then write angry letters when we don't get our way.

Mattias Petter Johansson over at FunFunFunction dives deeper into "developer entitlement."

When we feel entitled, we overestimate our abilities and our contributions. We swallow the lie our ego feeds us. "You deserve this. You're a senior developer after all." Developers with this mindset are bargaining on the wrong side of the tracks.

Here's how your boss thinks about raises.

"Holy crap, this is the guy that 10x'd our leads and sales in 18 months. The app he developed turned things around for us. We're going to need to spend more if we want to keep this guy."

See the difference?

They're not operating from an entitled mindset. They're approaching your raise from a transactional mindset, namely...

What am I getting for my money?

We're not entitled to a raise. We're not entitled to a promotion. Yet developers continue to approach salaries and promotions from an entitled mindset. I did a good job this year so, you "owe me."

They usually make their approach like this.

Which is the part where managers give their blunt and unsatisfying answer.

Nope.

Mistake #2: Being Right vs Being Respectful

Justin Keller, entrepreneur, developer and founder of San Francisco startup Commando.io wrote an open letter to the mayor. He was upset about the homeless in his community.

He didn't want to see them on his way to work.

"The wealthy working people have earned their right to live in the city. They went out, got an education, work hard, and earned it. I shouldn't have to worry about being accosted. I shouldn't have to see the pain, struggle, and despair of homeless people to and from my way to work every day. I want my parents when they visit to have a great experience, and enjoy this special place."

Maybe he didn't mean to convey feelings of contempt and condescension. But, his words were still hurtful and disrespectful.

He had a point.

No one wants to live in a neighborhood filled with homeless people. Homeless people don't want to live the way they do. We're human, it's normal to dislike these things.

Those who can avoid it, do so. Those who can't, endure it.

The general thrust of his argument is this: He doesn't want to deal with the problems that homeless people bring. Okay. But that's not really the problem here.

It's the othering of a group or type of people he views as beneath him.

That's the problem.

Developers struggle with the very same issue. As a developer, you're typically sure about your views. You're logical and precise. You're right and you know it, which is part of the problem.

You have a choice to make.

Be right. You can show everyone that you are, in fact, correct. That your way is right. This comes at a steep price if it's handled poorly.

Protect the relationship. You can treat others with respect, avoid humiliating them and allow them to save face when they're wrong.

Developers who focus on being "right" tend to be disrespectful. They burn allies and earn enemies.

Developers who focus on relationships first, discover their influence grows with those around them. They're viewed as trustworthy, and more people listen when they have something to say. Being right is easy when everyone values your feedback.

Getting that raise or promotion is tough if you're viewed as a snobby, know-it-all jerk.

Mistake #3: My Career vs My Loyalty

Google has been at the top of Fortune magazine's list of best companies to work for every year since 2007. The job perks are legendary. For many, a spot at Google is a dream come true.

So why is Google struggling to keep its employees?

A recent report by PayScale states the median employee tenure at Google is a little over one year. Its workforce has grown, but it's struggling to keep its people.

It's not because Googlers are unhappy.

84 percent of their 28,500 employees state they have a high level of job satisfaction which, as you'd expect, is one of the highest among the Fortune 500.

Other tech firms aren't having the same problem. The average tenure at Yahoo! and Microsoft is 2.4 and 4 years respectively.

Yikes.

The problem is loyalty. Loyalty is quickly becoming a thing of the past.

Employees are loyal to a fulfilling career, not a job — 78% would stay if they knew they had a career path. #HR #EmployeeEngagement https://t.co/TgHqkxS69Q

— Mercer (@mercer) December 9, 2016

It's not entirely our fault; We're given bad advice. The strategy is:"Don't ask for a raise, get a new job instead."

It's a destructive strategy that results in less trust. Employers limit the responsibility they give you because they believe you won't be here that long anyway...

Work has become this cutthroat environment where we all pretend to look out for the team, when in reality, we're looking out for ourselves.

If you're a sophisticated developer, you know.

At many companies, project managers and other developers are all too eager to throw each other under the bus for more money. When an opportunity comes along, these employees will eat each other for the chance to win.

Jumping from job to job only works for so long. Disloyalty catches up with you as your market value drops. There's no reason an employer should go out of their way to keep a disloyal developer.

Here's what loyalty looks like to them.

Continue reading %6 Unexpected Mistakes That Keep Developers from Getting a Raise%

by Andrew McDermott via SitePoint http://ift.tt/2oN8I5b

[deathtoclones]

Hi Emma ^^ How has work been and do you have any plans for Seollal? ^^There’s this thought I have that I kinda wanted your take on if it’s alright? Have you ever been in phases where you are having good weeks and suddenly you feel like you’re in a slump? How did you get out if it? I have a few things bothering me. I finished a huge piece of work this week and suddenly feel a complete lack of motivation to continue with my other big project. Interestingly, I’ve sort of also lost the momentum(1/5)

in terms of my personal “projects”– journaling,studying for driving theory, searching for jobs and trying up to take up manycourses quickly so I don’t feel like a “fraud” when I apply for data analystjobs. I’ve also looked at last year’s finances and realised that I don’t saveas much (ard 36% of my pay) as I want to though I earn quite abit. I don’t evenspend much but a lot of money goes back to my parents (monthly allowance) andinsurance in particular =/ (2/5)

I feel depressed just thinking about it all.Yesterday I just signed up for a private life coaching thing for 6 sessionsthat adds up to about 750 bucks and I’m like…I do know I need some guidance toshift my negative thinking and lots of other issues I have, but 750 feels likea lot. Esp after looking at how little I save. And I still have to budget forvacations =/ (3/5)

To add to all that, I used to have “something”going on with this guy at work but it has completely just fallen off. Just likethat. I don’t see him around often anymore, not sure if he’s busy and all but.A part of me feels “rejected” in a sense. Like I wasn’t interesting enough forhim to pursue things further/I wasn’t good enough for him to behave moreconsistently and clearly with me. Doesn’t help that I get anxious whenever Iwalk around office for fear of (4/5)

bumping into him or his colleagues – who don’tspeak to me but just stare at me. Topping it all off, I just received newsyesterday that my grandma has malignant cancer and it’s kinda made the entirefamily really downcast. Sorry to unload so much on you but I just feel veryoverwhelmed and demotivated and I guess I’ve been bottling this up for sometime. Have you been through something like that before? I’m gonna go listen toa nice podcast right now to calm myself down (5/5)

Hey! First of all, don’t even apologize. It’stotally fine and I often find that one of the best ways for me to deal withthings is to just talk about them and get them out of my head. So definitelynot a problem and I don’t mind trying to help if I can. ^_^ I don’t haveeverything figured out and all, but if my experiences or opinions can help,then I don’t mind sharing.

I definitely have my fair share of slumps,sometimes right after I finish a big project and sometimes right in the middleof one. Usually because I get so overwhelmed by things (whether it’s theproject or whatever is going on in life at the time) that my brain just shutsdown and it’s hard to get back on track. It’s something that I’m sure a lot ofpeople go through, and it can be especially frustrating when you know you havestuff you need to get done but your brain is just like, “Nope. Uh-uh. Nothappening today.”

For me, honestly, I just have to give myself abit of time to not do anything. It’s hard, because I’m definitely someone whoinstantly starts feeling like a failure if I’m not working on something all thetime. But, I just have to remind myself that sometimes it’s okay to check-outfor a bit. You can’t always force yourself out of a slump or to feel happier or less depressed. Sometimes you have to ride it out. So, maybe instead of going home and working on an article, I just have anight where I veg out on the couch and watch whatever TV show I’m into at thetime or a movie. Or instead of working on stuff in between editing at work, I open up arandom story I’m writing or have written and read through it or add or edit. (Confession Time - My secret, go-to happy place is old fanfiction that I’ve written that will never see the light of day... I’ll go write a few paragraphs or rewrite something or just read it whenever I’m overwhelmed or feeling down and it actually kind of helps cheer me up.) Orbrowse through articles or Tumblr. Obviously, if there is something urgent, I’llforce myself to power through and get it done. But sometimes it’s good to just take a break.And usually after a bit the motivation will come back. Maybe I get inspired byan article or book I read, or a random YouTube documentary that I watch. Or Iget an interview that I had been trying for. That’s typically what works forme, though. I’m not sure how it is with others.

Money stuff, oh yes, have I been there. Upuntil recently I have been absolutely horrible with saving (as in, I basically hadno savings until last year). I was always good about making sure I saved up tobuy plane tickets to go home and such, but everything else. Just horrible. Iwould get so caught up in going out and enjoying time with my friends or takingcabs to work that I’d pretty much spend most or all of my paycheck every month.(Don’t even get me started on credit cards… >.

Ultimately, I think that if it’s something thatwill help you out in the long run, then it’s a good investment. With my Koreanclasses, I’ve had friends tell me that I pay too much and they could find me anothertutor for cheaper, but I tell them no thanks. Maybe it would cut my fees inhalf, but I’ve been using my tutor for three years now. She’s good, she knowsthe best ways to work with me and I am progressing. It’s worth paying a little bit more. (Though honestly, I think 50,000 won/hr - 270,000 won/mth is a fair price.)

With the guy, I hate feeling like that. Like Idid something or wasn’t good enough. But I think a good way to try and thinkabout it – at least for me - is that for whatever reason, it didn’t work outbecause it’s just wasn’t right for you or him. It’s not so much anyone didanything right or wrong or that either wasn’t good enough, it just wasn’t theright person or the right time. Or both. It wasn’t a good match. I’ve been trying tolook at my last few “almost relationships” over the past couple of years withthat kind of mind frame and it’s helped. Sometimes it’s a matter of just notbeing the right thing for you or him. And sometimes it’s because he’s asshole. It’skind of hard to really comment on since I don’t know the full story, but Isuppose in my experiences, I’ve been talking to guys and things were neverquite serious enough that they needed a “talk” to end them – they just kind ofended. Either he or I or both of us were just too busy to make anything of it.And ultimately, we weren’t really interested in each other enough to makesomething of it. So we moved on. Other times, we were far enough into thingsthat a sort of talk ending things was needed, but instead they just faded out.So definitely an asshole move in that situation.

And what the hell is with the co-workersstaring? Bleh, every office I’ve ever worked in has been so gossipy and I’vehated it. I’d probably end up glaring back or something, haha! Just ignorethem, if you can.  

I’m so, so sorry to hear about yourgrandmother. Cancer is super scary and it sucks. I went through it with Mom andGrams and it is… yea. I can’t even fully articulate how much I hate cancer. Andeven though I’ve been through it in my family, I still never really know whatto say when a friend or someone I know tells me that their mom or dad orgrandparent was just diagnosed. Hang it there. It’ll be rough for you and yourfamily. But, I guess just let your grandmother know that you’re there for her. She’llneed the whole family to support her through this fight. ^_^

I hope that helps. I totally understand how you’refeeling right now, but just hang in there. It does eventually get better. Andfor the holiday I will be resting. I only get Friday and Saturday off, but I’mworking late shift on Sunday and Monday, so in a way it still kind of feelslike getting a break since I get to sleep in. Tomorrow I’m filming twointerviews for my YouTube project and then going home and doing nothing but layon the couch and watching “Outlander” (just started season 2 last night). I’vebeen going non-stop the last two weeks and really just want a nice relaxingweekend at home, haha! This week has been especially hard since I’ve been upuntil 1 or 2 a.m. almost every night for one reason or another and I just wantto sleep. We’re hoping that we’ll get to leave at 4 p.m. today, so I’m happy toget out, go home and take a nap before I have to go to another magazine hoesikat 7 p.m. Or, I don’t know, I might just back out since I have to get up earlytomorrow to get ready for the shoot.

Hope you have a happy new year!!