#nct 127 oneshots

[tyonfs]

a series of white lies

❝ he calls me ‘dude.’ i can’t date a guy whose term of endearment for me is the same one he uses for johnny suh. ❞

PAIRING ▸ mark lee x fem!reader

GENRES ▸ fluff, crack, high school au, best friends to lovers, childhood friends to lovers

WARNINGS ▸ profanity, underage drinking, honestly just a lot of fluff, johnny has a twin sister in this, mark drives with one hand on the steering wheel and i thought this deserved a separate warning, me fulfilling my mark lee gamer bf needs, fluffy kiss scenes, and mutual pining (but they think it’s unrequited love) ofc !!

SUMMARY ▸ in which it takes you six years to accept that you’re in love with mark lee. (it takes him one.)

PLAYLIST ▸ crush by lucian, tiffany day • falling for u by mxmtoon, peachy! • rising, rising - bassnectar remix by crywolf, bassnectar

WORD COUNT ▸ 10,514 words

AUTHOR’S NOTE ▸ i was very much in my mark feels so i wrote this spontaneously !! this actually feels short to me idk why but 10k in 2 days ??? im fucking crazy.......... but im free. hope u guys like it <3 

YOU WERE ELEVEN YEARS OLD WHEN YOU FIRST ACKNOWLEDGED MARK LEE’S EXISTENCE.

He was Johnny Suh’s best friend—stuck at the hip since they were preschoolers. You had seen him around the house when you went to play with Johnny’s twin sister, Jia, but you never paid him any attention. At the age of eleven, you and Jia could care less about boys; you just wanted to see who could braid each other’s hair the fastest and see if you could fit into her mom’s evening gowns without her noticing. (Spoiler: you couldn’t.)

Since you lived down the street, all you had to do was walk a few minutes to get to Jia’s house. Mark, on the other hand, always rode his bike. Your mother didn’t allow you to go over on weekdays, so you practically lived at Jia’s house on the weekends. Now, though, it was summer vacation, so you could do whatever you liked. Like it was any other Saturday morning, you walked over to Jia’s in the summer heat.

Today, however, no one answered the door.

You stood on their porch, feeling a little lost. You weren’t too early, were you? Someone always opened the door around this time, but you couldn’t even tell if the lights were on inside.

While you were worrying at your bottom lip, wondering if you should just go back home, Mark rode onto the driveway in his green bicycle. You immediately recognized him as Johnny’s friend, but you felt a little awkward because you had barely interacted with him before. The only time you had a proper conversation with Mark was when Johnny brought you all otter pops and you were overly-enthusiastic about explaining the best way to eat the icy treat.

“I don’t think they’re home,” Mark spoke up after you both stood at the door for a while like lost puppies. “Shoot! I remember; they were going to the zoo today.”

You recalled Jia saying something about that a few days ago. That probably explained the reason why there was no car in the driveway.

“What do we do now?” you asked, feeling a bit defeated.

You didn’t want to go home. You knew that you would just be bored and find yourself rewatching a show that you didn’t even like. Plus, there was something about walking back home shortly after you declared you were going to Jia’s house that felt shameful.

“Uh,” Mark started, rubbing the back of his neck. He uselessly supplied, “I don’t know. We just go home, I guess.”

“I don’t wanna go home.”

“What’re you gonna do then?” he asked, scrunching up his nose at how stubborn you sounded. “Can’t you just hang out with another friend?”

“I don’t know where they live.”

Silence.

You weren’t sure what you were expecting him to say, but maybe part of you was waiting for him to offer his company. You didn’t know Mark Lee aside from being Johnny’s friend, but you did know a little bit about what they said about him at school. All the sixth grade girls had a crush on him, which was understandable considering Mark was very “first crush” material. Jia told you it was something about how considerate and nice he was to everyone—a trait that most sixth grade boys didn’t seem to have, apparently.

“Do you want a ride home then?” He gestured to his bike. “You’ll have to sit on the back, though.”

“Okay.”

You trusted Mark’s cycling abilities, but you didn’t trust your balance. You were rather scared of bicycles because you didn’t know how to ride one yourself. Naturally, Mark was surprised when you sat on the rack and wrapped your arms around his waist.

“Sorry,” you apologized. “I’m a little scared. Jia tried to teach me how to ride a bike before, but I kept falling.”

Mark laughed in response, and you were taken aback. Was he laughing at your vulnerability? You were starting to get the feeling that all boys were the same. Even though everyone talked big about Mark being the sweetest thing ever, he was probably just a carbon copy of Johnny Suh. (You still held a grudge from when Johnny stole your pudding last year.)

“It’s okay,” he reassured. “I’ll go slowly so you don’t fall.”

“Thanks.”

He was being especially careful, and you were thankful for that. Mostly, you were scared that you were going to tip over the bicycle somehow and let the both of you fall. Your mother would definitely get mad at you if she found out that you injured Mark.

It just so happened that your parents were friends with Jia’s family and Mark’s family. Although you never really spoke to Mark much, your mothers called each other nearly every day. If your mother discovered that Mark gave you a ride home and you repaid him by crashing his bike, she would probably invite him inside for dinner.

You didn’t even want to imagine dinner with your parents and Mark Lee. That would’ve probably been the most awkward situation to be thrown into.

So, you steeled your core and dared not to sway from side-to-side. You were going to make it home in one piece without sabotaging Mark’s bike.

Your strategy seemed to work well because you both got to your house safely. You felt invincible just knowing that you were unscathed and you didn’t have to wear a helmet. When you got off the bike, Mark was already turning to leave. Then, he looked back over his shoulder at you and smiled shyly.

“See you tomorrow,” he said, knowing you both would try your luck going to Johnny and Jia’s place again the next day.

You waved to him. “Thanks for the ride.”

“No problem.” He pressed his foot down on the pedal. “That’s what friends are for.”

With that, Mark cycled off, leaving you staring blankly into the distance. You were just replaying what he said, trying to make sense of it.

You guys were friends?

At the age of twelve, you grew a little closer to Mark.

Not close to the point of hanging out regularly, but Mark became your ride to Johnny and Jia’s occasionally. He would often offer you a ride if he stumbled upon you walking to their house. You graciously took his offer each time (partly because you hated being the last one there).

Being a middle schooler was weird, though. You didn’t really want to tell anyone about your random companionship with Mark. You were sure the girls would tease you about it incessantly, but it really wasn’t like that. It was safer if you just pretended like you had no relation to him.

“What color should I paint my nails?” Jia asked from where she was sitting on the floor, inspecting her long nails that she had just smeared with nail polish remover.

Ah, right. She was getting to that age, too, where she cared a lot about fashion and makeup.

A lot of the girls in your class were like that now. You weren’t going to lie and say you weren’t, but it was more of an interest reserved for your Pinterest boards. It wasn’t exactly like you owned any high fashion pieces that you could wear to middle school without getting dress-coded.

“Red,” you decided. “Christmas is coming up, so maybe you should do something that fits the holiday vibe.”

Jia gasped, like she had completely forgotten it was December. “You’re right! God, what would I ever do without you?” She shook her head as she fished for her red nail polish. “By the way, do you think Kim Doyoung from our math class likes you or something? I keep catching him staring at you.”

“What? No way.” Your cheeks heated up, but the thought of someone being romantically interested in you made you feel a little sick. You weren’t sure what to do with that information. “He’s probably just slacking off.”

“Let’s ask Johnny.”

“Huh? No!” you protested, but Jia was already getting up to pull her twin brother from his room.

He looked irritated with his sister as he begrudgingly followed Jia back to her room. Mark was right behind Johnny, as usual, looking awfully curious about whatever was going on. His lips curled into a lopsided smile as he watched Johnny and Jia bicker back and forth.

“You interrupted our game!” Johnny complained.

“I don’t see Mark complaining,” Jia fired back. “Come on, we just had a question for you. You’re friends with Kim Doyoung, right?”

“Uh, yeah, why?”

“Jia, shut up.” You covered your face with your hands and let out a whine. Your best friend just laughed at your misery.

“Oh?” Johnny smirked. “Does someone have a crush on—”

“No!” you exclaimed, horror all over your face at the mere suggestion. The three of them just laughed at you even more, but you had no idea what was so funny about such a horrifying situation. “I do not have a crush on Doyoung.”

“But we think he has a crush on her,” Jia clarified. “Do you know if he does?”

Johnny shrugged. “We don’t really talk about that kind of stuff.”

“What the hell?”

“Whoa.” Johnny’s eyes lit up with mischief. “Mom! Jia just swo—”

Jia slapped her hand over Johnny’s mouth to shut him up. The fear that flashed in her eyes was unmistakable, and you giggled a little upon seeing how desperate she was to not be told on. Jia had developed a bit of a cursing habit recently. You were surprised every time she did so, but she insisted that saying hell wasn’t as bad as saying fuck.

“Give it a rest!” Jia exclaimed. “I’ve heard you cuss, too, so I’ll just tell Mom the same thing.”

“Fine, fine,” Johnny caved, “but I really don’t know anything about Doyoung liking Y/N, so can Mark and I go back to playing Minecraft?”

Jia was persistent, though. You had to give her some credit for being so proactive about what she wanted to uncover about their friend.

“Mark,” she said, turning to the smaller boy, “do you know anything about who Doyoung likes?”

“Um… not really,” he answered. “We just talk about video games.”

“Ugh!” Frustrated, Jia walked back over to her nail polish station on the floor and plopped back down. “Boys are so boring!”

“We’re going back,” Johnny said. “Come on, Mark.”

You swore that Mark Lee met your eyes for the most peculiar second before he left. You weren’t sure if your eyes were playing tricks on you, but if you had been brave enough to admit it to yourself, you would’ve noticed the tips of his ears turning red.

On your thirteenth birthday, Mark’s present for you made you wonder if he knew you better than even your closest friends.

Your parents threw you quite a large birthday, which was nice, in retrospect. It was something you could look back on when you were an adult, and you could feel happy that your parents put so much effort into making your day feel special.

However, right now, you felt absolutely crappy because Jia couldn’t show up.

Johnny was sent in her place, instead. Your face was void of amusement as her twin brother performed his own glamorous rendition of “Happy Birthday” in Jia’s place. Apparently, she had specifically requested him to sing for you in front of all the parents. Although it was supposed to be humiliating for him, you were feeling the embarrassment instead.

So, halfway into your own birthday party, you retreated to your room. Everyone was busy socializing, so you had some time to wallow in self-pity before you had to go back out to cut your cake.

While you were sulking on your bed, a knock came at your door. You assumed it was one of your parents trying to talk you into coming back out, so you offered a soft “come in.”

It was not your parents. It was Mark.

“What are you doing here?” he asked. “It’s your birthday party. Shouldn’t you be celebrating with everyone?”

You hugged your knees to your chest and shook your head. “It doesn’t feel the same without Jia.”

Mark laughed a little. “You’re so stubborn when it comes to her. You were like this when she went to the zoo, too.”

Your cheeks heated up a little from embarrassment. You couldn’t believe Mark remembered that from two years ago. It wasn’t exactly the impression you wanted to leave on him, but only your childish qualities seemed to come out when he was around.

“Why are you here?” you asked him this time.

He paused for a moment, as if he himself forgot why he knocked on your door. Then, Mark’s eyes lit up and he held out a poorly-wrapped present that he had been hiding behind his back. You stifled your smile at the sight of the messy tape job and lopsided ribbon.

He grinned. “I got you a present!”

“Can I open it?”

“If you want—yeah.”

You unwrapped the gift wrap carefully, even though there was no salvaging its remains, and Mark watched you intently. You sat criss-cross on your bed and removed the wrapping until you were holding a photo album in your hands. A picture of you and Jia from when you were nine years old was on the cover, the both of you smiling with missing teeth and popsicle-stained lips.

Your lips parted in surprise as you flipped through the album, biting back a smile as you looked through all the pictures of you and Jia. There were some of Johnny and Mark with you guys sprinkled in there, too.

“Did you make this yourself?” you asked, surprised.

Mark nodded shyly. “I asked our parents for pictures and printed them out,” he said. He sheepishly rubbed the back of his head. “I hope you like—”

“I love it,” you cut him off, still staring at the album. A bright smile crossed your face, and you leaned over to press a chaste kiss to Mark’s cheek. “Thank you, Mark.”

On your thirteenth birthday, you made Mark Lee the color of a tomato.  

You were fourteen years old when you had your first kiss with Mark Lee.

The progression in your relationship with Mark was a bit of a jump from last year, you realized. You weren’t sure if it was because his family was being invited over more or if it was just convenient having so many classes with him, but he ended up hanging out with you in your room multiple days a week. You weren’t sure what to think of it at first, but soon it had become natural, like how it was for you to go over to Jia’s place.

He would often find himself laying on your bed, playing a random game on his phone that he would lose interest in after a few weeks. Two weeks ago, it was Cookie Run, and Mark was determined to get you hooked onto the game for a while. He convinced you to start an account with him, and neither Jia or Johnny could understand when the both of you started discussing the lore of the Cookie Kingdom.

“It’s GingerBrave,” Mark muttered when Johnny’s mother set a plate of cookies for the four to share.

“A lot of GingerBraves,” you replied with a frown. You took a bite of the cookie and sniffled. “He tastes so good.”

Jia stared at the two of you in disbelief. “You guys are such weirdos.”

If you thought middle school was weird, entering high school was even more strange. Everyone’s hormones were on the rise, and you saw couples getting together all around you. Slowly, you noticed conversations with your friend groups go from what anime you were currently watching to what boy you were currently crushing on.

Apparently, Rin Okumura wasn’t an acceptable answer anymore.

It was about halfway through your first year of high school when you felt like you had fallen so far behind. As your friends started actively pursuing the guys they liked, you were just waiting around for something to happen. There was no one that made your heart burst into a thousand pieces, which Jia claimed was the way she felt around Lee Jeno from her biology class. You realized you were absolutely inexperienced when Hwang Yeji announced her new boyfriend to the group.

“So, yeah,” she answered Jimin, who was pestering her for information, “he just asked me out last night, so I guess we’re dating now.”

You blinked. Was it really that easy? All you had to do was just ask someone and see if you could hit it off?

“Have you guys done anything yet?” Jia asked.

“It’s barely been a day!” Yeji exclaimed, but she burst into giggles when she seemed to recall a detail. “But… he did ask me out on a date this weekend, so we might kiss.”

Your table exploded at this. All the girls were giggling and teasing Yeji. Maybe your expectations were set far too high by shoujo anime, but you couldn’t understand how Yeji could fall for someone only a month after her last boyfriend. Your inexperience in the dating realm made you wonder if it was just a concept you’d only be able to grasp once you had experienced it.

“Y/N,” Kim Minjeong drawled, poking your shoulder. “How about you? Any cute guy you’ve had your eyes on?”

“Watch her have the hots for Jia’s brother,” Yoo Jimin teased, causing Jia to choke on her food.

“Ew!” you exclaimed. “Don’t even joke about that, Jimin!”

You shuddered at the thought of dating your best friend’s twin brother. In all fourteen years of your life, you had never indulged that idea—not even once. Not only was Johnny Suh off limits, but you just couldn’t see him as anything other than a (slightly annoying) big brother.

“Wait, then…” Jia started, pausing to clear her throat and point her fork in your direction, “how about Mark?”

“Mark Lee?” Kim Yerim chimed in. “He’s really cute.”

You seized up at the mention of his name. It wasn’t like you disliked Mark (in fact, you liked him a lot more than you did a few years ago), but you were suddenly embarrassed to be mentioned with him in this context. You suspected Jia felt weird about you two being “shipped” by your friends, too. You often felt like she had some expectation that your relationship with both Mark and Johnny was supposed to be platonic forever. Blurring the lines between your friendship meant sabotaging the group dynamic, and that was unacceptable.

You decided to laugh it off. “I can’t see Mark in a romantic way at all. He calls me ‘dude.’ I can’t date a guy whose term of endearment for me is the same one he uses for Johnny Suh.”

Jimin hummed in response. “Fair enough, but I’m still betting you guys are gonna kiss at some point.”

“Jimin!” you whined.

“I totally get that vibe, too.” Yeji had a lazy smirk on her face as she pressed you. “He’s definitely gonna be your first kiss, Y/N.” When she caught onto your exasperation, she added, “Come on! He’s not even that bad!”

You pointed out Jia’s grossed-out expression. “Look—even Jia thinks you’re full of shit.”

“Don’t mind me.” Jia tried to wave it off. “I’ve just known you two for too long, so it feels weird thinking about you guys being mushy with each other.”

“Yeah, see? Not gonna happen.”

“What I’m surprised about is that Y/N hasn’t had her first kiss yet,” Minjeong said.

You pressed your lips together in a thin line. Your first plan was to ignore the observation and continue forking salad into your mouth, but everyone’s attention was now on your innocent self. You were just waiting for someone to make a comment about your “virgin lips.”

“She’s pure,” Jia defended. “No one is allowed to go near Y/N’s virgin lips.”

There we go.

(“Except Mark!” Jimin teased.)

For some reason, it felt strange to be labeled that way in your friend group. It made you feel like you were ten steps behind everyone else—not that it was a competition to check off your experiences or anything, but you just wanted to have your own stories to share sometimes.

Your ringer went off right at that moment, and you nearly jumped when you saw that it was a text from Mark himself. It was like he had some sixth sense that detected people talking behind his back.

mark: hey:) can i come over today lol

you: sure you: actually can i ask u a favor

mark: shoot

you: i’ll tell you when u come over

mark: aw whaaat mark: you can’t leave me hanging like that!

you: sorryy gotta keep u on ur toes for a bit

mark: btw the new boss baby movie’s out mark: wanna watch it with me?

you: bruhh boss baby? LOL

mark: consider for a moment the human baby mark: helpless mark: irrational mark: ruthlessly monopolizing the mother’s teat mark: now mark: imagine this same baby a titan of capitalist industry mark: a baby, yes mark: but also… a boss

you: ?? damn you: im sold!!! you: ur such a weirdo sometimes

mark: but you laughed! didnt you

you: maaaaybe :))

“Earth to Y/N,” Jia called, snapping her fingers in front of your face to get your attention. You snapped out of your trance and stared at her, confused. “The bell rang, so let’s get going.” You nodded and started gathering your belongings to walk with Jia. Before you both left the cafeteria, she smirked and pointed out, “You were smiling down at your phone for a while, you know?”

“W-what?” you spluttered out. “I was? I didn’t even notice.”

Jia raised a brow before she shrugged and linked arms with you. “Anyway, are you excited for Homecoming?”

That was right. The school dance completely slipped your mind (and part of you could blame that on the student council for hardly promoting). Jia had been tossing the idea of asking Jeno back and forth, even though you and all of your friends had already told her she should just go for it. She said she would rather just go alone instead of being rejected.

“Sort of,” you answered. “Are you still asking Jeno?”

Jia scrunched up her nose at the thought. “I feel like the timing isn’t right, so I’d rather just go with you. Unless… you already have a date?”

You laughed. “Me? No way.”

“Hey, anything’s possible.” Jia giggled as she walked ahead of you to file into your classroom. “Even Mark Lee has a date!”

You froze up on the spot.

What?

For the rest of the day, you felt like you were in a daze. You couldn’t think straight in class, and whenever someone told you something, you needed them to repeat it a couple more times for you to fully process what they were saying. It was the same when you got home and saw Mark waiting in front of your driveway.

“We should’ve just walked together,” he said as you approached him.

After you made him repeat his words a few more times, you shrugged in response. Instead of keeping your composure and inviting Mark inside normally, you blurted out the question that had been on your mind all day.

“Are you going with anyone to Homecoming?” you asked, mentally cursing when your voice wavered at the end. You sounded like you were jealous or something, and that made you feel sick to your stomach.

“Yeah.”

Oh. You felt numb.

Mark continued, “Johnny and I are going.”

Oh. You were an idiot.

The flush of relief you felt made you feel like an idiot. You had no reason to be feeling so giddy over Mark not going with anyone to the dance. Maybe it was because he had been your single partner-in-crime for the past year that you weren’t ready for him to leave the nest.

“Sounds fun,” was all you could say in response as you led Mark into your house. You made your way upstairs to your room, already shrugging your backpack off once you got halfway up the stairs. “Jia and I are going together, too.”

“Oh, cool.”

Mark looked like he wanted to say more, but he left it at that.

“Jia said you had a date, so I assumed you asked someone out,” you explained, then raised a brow at Mark, “unless… you asked Johnny as a—”

“Oh my god, you’re insufferable.” Mark let out a petulant whine, burying his face in his hands. “We’re going with the whole friend group! Except Jaehyun ‘cause he’s got a date.”

You laughed and tossed your backpack onto the floor, right beside your desk. Mark did the same and slumped back into your chair. His face was flushed from defending himself before, and you couldn’t help but find it a little adorable.

“What was that favor you were asking for, by the way?” he asked.

You felt hot immediately.

You hadn’t expected him to bring it up again, especially when you spent all of your class time mentally berating yourself for thinking of such a thing. It wasn’t your fault that people kept nagging you about your first kiss, though.

You sat back on your bed, willing yourself to look down at your thighs instead of Mark Lee. The way he was studying your face intently was making you go crazy because he was probably thinking you had some innocent request, but what was eating at your mind could actually tip the scales of your purely platonic friendship.

Yet. there was that flicker of doubt in the back of your mind that this request would actually affect your relationship with Mark. He was such a caring individual that you couldn’t see him distancing himself from you over this.

“Um… well, I just had a little question, but you don’t actually have to do it if you don’t want to,” you started in a small voice. You were quiet for a second, and Mark let out a little hum for you to continue, so you asked, “Could you be my first kiss?”

You knew asking him was letting Jimin be victorious in her claim that Mark would be your first kiss, and while that did put you off a little, you couldn’t think of anyone else you would be comfortable with. You thought of many possibilities of kissing any other guy in your class, and all of them sounded absolutely frightening. The mere image of kissing Lee Donghyuck, the loud class clown in your history class, made you want to crawl in a hole and die.

Plus, this was for practice. That was all it was.

No underlying feelings or anything running under the surface.

When you were brave enough to look up at Mark’s reaction, you were taken aback by how red his face was. His mouth hung open comically, and he was opening and closing it over and over again, completely lost for words.

“You can say no!” you added, wondering if you fucked up.

At that moment, Mark seemed to regain his composure. He stood up and walked over to you, bending down so that you two were eye-level. Your breath was caught in your throat by his sudden display of boldness; you didn’t expect a move like this from Mark Lee.

“Okay, let’s do it,” he said, dark eyes boring into yours, “but don’t you want your first kiss to be with someone special?”

You bit your lip. “I just want it to be with someone I’m comfortable with.” You hesitated a little when he nodded. “Are you sure about this?” you asked, and even though you didn’t have any feelings for Mark, your heart was going crazy at the thought of kissing him.

This was going to be your first kiss. You could kiss dozens of other guys after this, but you would forever have Mark Lee as the boy who was your first kiss.

“Yeah,” he replied. “It’s just a kiss, right?”

“Right.”

You glanced at Mark’s lips. They looked soft, and you wondered how they’d feel against yours. Well, you supposed you were going to find out soon, but that didn’t help calm your nerves at all. Oddly enough, you hoped Mark was a bad kisser because you didn’t know what you would do if you felt fireworks or butterflies.

You met Mark’s eyes shyly and then closed them when he leaned in, and you met him halfway, pressing your lips to his in a gentle kiss.

“How was that?” Mark asked when he pulled back. You almost let it go undetected with how dim the lights were, but you picked up on the faintest of blushes crossing his cheeks.

“Skin,” you answered. When Mark snickered, you clarified, “It just felt like skin against skin.”

“Did we do it wrong then?”

“I think it’s just because I don’t like you in that way,” you answered.

He laughed at this before straightening back up and clapping his hands once. “Well, I’m honored to take your first kiss, at the very least.”

There was one lie you let slip, though.

The kiss didn’t just feel like skin against skin—well, it did, but you happened to like it a lot more than you had anticipated. You were shocked by the little zing that traveled down your spine when Mark’s lips moved against yours. There was no slobber, no awkwardness, and certainly no repulse from your end.

It felt nice. In fact, you’d do it again, if you could.

“I’ll let you in on a little secret,” Mark said, and when you looked at him, humming quizzically, he smirked. You weren’t sure why, but your heart was thundering in your chest. “That was my first kiss, too.”

You realized Mark Lee was extremely popular at the age of fifteen. A little too popular for your liking.

This revelation hit you when you heard your AP World History project group discussing the ranking of cute guys in your grade. Mark Lee seemed to be vying for either first or second with Lee Taeyong, and you wondered if he had been an unexpected dark horse this entire time.

“I’m telling you, Mark has potential!” Lia gushed. “He’s cute right now, but I guarantee he’s gonna have the biggest glow-up after we graduate.”

“What do you think, Y/N? You’re friends with him, right?” Jimin asked.

You shrugged. “Yeah, but I don’t really think about him in that way. I’ve known him for too long, you know?”

Jimin hummed. “I guess it’s weird if you’ve watched him grow up, so I get that,” she said before letting a giggle slip. “I still think he’s gonna be your first kiss, though.”

“He was,” you confirmed.

“What?!” Lia exclaimed.

You weren’t sure if they were shocked or impressed (or both), but both Jimin and Lia stared at you, completely flabbergasted. You shrunk back when you noticed Jia was acting like she wasn’t bothered. You expected her to explode at the news, but her disinterested reaction made you feel worse about sharing.

“It wasn’t that big of a deal and it didn’t really mean anything,” you said. “That’s why I never said anything about it.”

Jimin’s chest puffed up in triumph. “God, I’m a genius, aren’t I?”

“Look what you did, Y/N.” Lia tutted. “This is gonna get to Jimin’s head now.”

You laughed alongside them, but part of you felt guilty for not telling Jia before. You weren’t sure if it was just you overthinking, but there was clear tension for the rest of the day between you two.

A week went by, and Jia was still pretending like nothing happened.

That was, until she brought up your kiss while you were studying for the PSAT at her house over the weekend. Jia and Johnny attended private tutoring together, so you were surprised she had the energy to study separately with you, too. She took it very seriously—even letting you borrow about ten workbooks so that you could practice on your own time.

“So, you and Mark kissed, huh?” she asked, twirling her pencil between her fingers.

You choked at the mention, eyes wide as you whipped your head around to make sure the coast was clear. You had to play it safe when Mark could’ve been around the house at any given moment. He and Johnny normally cooped themselves up in the makeshift “man cave” that was actually the garage.

Jia laughed at your reaction. “Don’t worry. Johnny and Mark went camping with the others this weekend. That guy just does whatever he wants now that he has his license. What a jerk; he doesn’t even give me a ride to school.”

You smiled a little. Johnny had been boasting about being the first to get a car for a while, and everyone knew he was going to get his license first because he was a little older and had been the most prepared for it. If you didn’t know any better, you would’ve suspected that he was driving illegally before he even took lessons.

But, first things first: back to the kiss.

“Yeah, we kissed,” you admitted, cheeks heating up yet again. “It was last year in my room.”

“In your room?” she pressed, a hint of a smirk ghosting her lips. “Y/N, you dirty little—”

“No, it wasn’t like that!” you exclaimed. “It was… gentle. We barely even touched!”

Jia hummed. “Well, was it good at least?”

There was no point in hiding anything from Jia, but you were too embarrassed to admit that you liked kissing Mark Lee. You couldn’t bring yourself to lie to her, though, so you just stuffed your face into your SAT workbook.

“What are you doing?” Jia asked.

Voice muffled, you replied, “Absorbing information.”

“Tell me about your kiss!”

“It’s embarrassing! You didn’t even ask me about it for a week after you found out!”

“Well, I figured you’d tell me at your own pace, considering you didn’t talk about it for a year.”

You pouted. “It’s just—I don’t know. It’s weird.”

“It’s not that weird,” Jia tried. “If you don’t tell me, I’m just going to come to the reasonable conclusion that he had food in his mouth while you were making out.”

“Gross!” you complained. “And we did not make out, we just kissed once.” You raised your head to look at her, finally saying, “It was… pretty nice, I guess.”

Jia bit back a smile and huffed. “I always knew you two were gonna get together.”

“We’re not!”

When you turned sixteen, Mark started making your heart flutter.

You weren’t sure where exactly it started. Perhaps it was the fact that he started growing into his features and maturing, but you started to see him in a new light. It was a bit frustrating, really. Whenever you caught sight of him, he just looked like he was glowing.

Other girls took notice of this, too, and maybe that was why you were ticked off.

Mark was completely dense, though, so he never talked about other girls around you. You wondered if he even realized how much attention he got, but you also gagged at the thought of the attention getting to his head.

You didn’t want to admit it to yourself, but Mark Lee was your little treasure. You couldn’t imagine him having a friend that he was closer to than yourself (other than Johnny, of course). You two had gotten so close that he became the person you thought of whenever you found a funny meme; the person you called whenever you had something to rant about; the person you confided in whenever you needed advice.

Of course, you were extremely close with Jia, and she could fill the gaps that Mark would leave if he found someone else. The problem was just that Mark Lee had too big of an impact on your life. He took up so much space that you weren’t sure what to do with all the emptiness if he left.

mark: hey mark: you should join my discord server

you: LOL what?? you have a discord server?

mark: im trying to become a streamer

you: no way you: okay i’ll support you: are you streaming rn?

mark: i’ll let you watch me game in vc mark: but only you

you: wowww i feel special

mark: https://discord.gg/mrklee

you: omg the link’s customized too you: i'm friends with a celebrity

mark: hahaha nahhh

You clicked on the link to join Mark’s server, as per his request. The impressive amount of members made you want to start teasing him for not inviting you sooner. When you entered the main chat, though, Mark was already redirecting you to the voice channel.

mark: yooo y/n go to #stream

y/n: ooookay

johnny: 2/2 vc ???? romantic ;)

mark: stfu johnny

y/n: ooh johnny’s here too

johnny: what’s up

mark: dude you’re barely active here

johnny: yeah lol i only got on to make fun of you

You giggled at their back-and-forth and joined the voice channel. Mark was already in there, humming to himself while scrolling through his Steam account to see what game he wanted to play. You two never called over Discord, but for some reason, it felt so much more intimidating than a regular phone call. Part of it had to do with the fact that he turned on his camera, so you could see him with his messy hair and glasses.

“Oh, you’re here,” he greeted in a huskier voice than usual. You wondered if his voice was so low because he was sleepy, but it was relaxing. “I kind of wanted to play Undertale.”

“Mm… I’ll watch whatever you play,” you replied, clicking on the “join stream” button. You turned on your camera, too, and Mark chuckled at the sight of you.

“You tired?” he asked, noting how your blanket was up to your nose as you laid in bed.

“A little,” you mumbled. “You do realize it’s past midnight, right?”

“That means the night’s still young,” Mark replied with a grin. “I’ll stay on call, though, if you fall asleep.”

You giggled. “Like a sleepover.”

“Exactly.” Mark ran his hand through his hair. “You know I got a car recently?”

“You did? I haven’t even gotten my license yet.”

“You’re hella slow.”

“Shut up,” you whispered, trying to suppress your giggles because you didn’t want to wake your parents up. Actually, you thought it would be worse if they caught you talking to Mark past midnight. When he launched Undertale, you said, “I’ve never seen someone play this game before.”

“I’m gonna use your name, then,” he said before entering your name for the main character.

You watched Mark play for a while, but you were mostly just listening to his voice and watching his reactions to the game. (That didn’t mean you didn’t enjoy watching the gameplay, though. You found the storyline very interesting, and you expressed that to Mark, who looked proud that he was able to get you hooked on a video game.)

Eventually, your eyelids started feeling heavy, and you were mumbling your responses to Mark. Just watching him made you so sleepy, especially when he was wearing that gray sweater that made him look so comfortable and warm. You were getting to a level of tiredness where you couldn’t even think proper thoughts or formulate coherent sentences.

When you said something about a gopher at a supermarket, Mark started laughing at you.

“You should sleep, Y/N,” he suggested.

“I don’t wanna,” you mumbled. “I wanna stay on call… and watch you play.”

“You sound really tired. I can always play tomorrow.”

You whined. “I’m not leaving. I feel so warm and comfy in bed, and your voice is really nice… your sweater looks nice, too. I’m gonna steal it one day, and you won’t be able to stop me.”

“Oh?” Mark smiled. “Are you now?”

If you still had your wits about you, this situation wouldn’t even be unraveling before you. It was like you couldn’t even control the word vomit spilling from your mouth, and even though you were absolutely embarrassed, it was impossible to defend yourself when you were falling asleep so fast. Before you knew it, you were mumbling nonsense as you lulled yourself to sleep.

Just before the rest of the world slipped away from you, Mark Lee’s laugh and voice rang in your ear.

“Sweet dreams, Y/N.”

It had been a few days, and you were still reeling from the humiliation during the Discord call you had with Mark.

“God,” you mumbled, “it was so weird, Jia. I was saying the stupidest shit when we were in the voice channel.”

“How weird is ‘weird'?’” she asked.

You cringed before you explained, “I told him I was gonna steal his sweater.”

She guffawed. “That’s something a girlfriend would say, Y/N.”

“I know!”

It was safe to say that you couldn’t confide in anyone else about this situation. It wasn’t like Mark was the one who was saying anything borderline flirtatious that night; it was all you, and that felt worse. Thankfully, though, your friend didn’t bring up anything about the night to embarrass you.

The one time he did, though, was when you asked Mark if he wanted to go to the pumpkin patch with you.

None of your other friends were free. You thought it would be a good opportunity to take pictures together, especially since Jimin had been complaining about the whole group not having pictures together. However, the day you wanted to go to the pumpkin patch, Jia was out of town, Jimin was down with a fever, and Minjeong was at her grandmother’s house. Everyone decided to reschedule the group hanging out together.

You really wanted a pumpkin, though, so Mark wound up picking you up from your house in the evening. He was fiddling with his phone when you walked up to the passenger’s side door, and you could tell he was itching for you to compliment his new Toyota Camry.

“Nice car,” you decided to say, and his smile got brighter. It was endearing, to say the least. “Definitely an upgrade from your bike.”

Mark decided to reciprocate, but nothing could have prepared you for the words that were about to come out of his mouth.

“Cute outfit.”

You were stupid. You were absolutely stupid because you spent the entire car ride thinking about those two words.

That, and the way Mark drove with one hand on the steering wheel.

When you both reached the pumpkin patch, you were dumbfounded when there was absolutely no one there. Mark gave you a dirty look when he pulled up to the front, leaning back in his seat and sighing.

“Y/N, did you actually check if they were open today?” he asked slowly.

“I-I mean… they were open on this day last year!” you defended. “When I mentioned going in the groupchat, no one even said anything about the pumpkin patch not being open yet. Actually… they’re all as stupid as I am, so I guess that makes sense.” Mark groaned, and you normally would’ve just laughed such a situation off, but you were feeling unusually sensitive. “I’m really sorry.��

Shocked by how upset you sounded, Mark straightened up and looked at you. “Hey, it’s not that big of a deal.” He reached over to ruffle your hair. “We can just get ice cream or something.”

You were frowning, but the mention of ice cream perked you right up. You nodded quickly, rubbing your arms as you sat back.

“Are you cold?” he asked.

“Huh?”

Before you could confirm or deny, Mark pulled off his sweater. You bit back a smile as you watched him struggle in the middle of the process, but you were flustered again when he handed it to you. You let it lay on your lap for a moment before Mark told you to wear it.

“You said you were gonna steal my sweater,” he reminded with a smirk, “so there you go.”

You wore his stupid sweater while you did your best to ignore your equally stupid heart doing backflips.

At the age of seventeen, you went to your first high school party.

It felt a bit silly that you were just going to your first party in your senior year of high school, and you felt like the experience was overdue. Jia told you that it was never too late to start checking stuff off your bucket list, and you might as well get started before you were going to graduate.

Jia had invited you plenty of times in the past, and even Johnny had tried to convince you to show up to some, but you had always refused. In the past, you were more wary of what your parents would think about you coming home late. Now that you had a car, though, you felt more comfortable going out on your own. There was more leniency from your parent’s side, too.

Lee Taeyong was throwing the party this time, and everyone was going since he was the most popular guy at school. Plus, his house was huge and Jia gave his parties excellent ratings. It was rumored that there was a 66.67% chance of the police showing up to shut it down, and apparently that was a good thing.

Jia was stoked to take you to a party—even more so when Na Jaemin from AP Chemistry offered to drive you two. He was planning to take Renjun, Jeno and Chenle, but Chenle flaked at the last minute because he got floor tickets to a basketball game. So, Jaemin now had two open seats in his car, and Jia would never turn down an offer to spend time with Jeno.

When you got a text from Jaemin later that night, saying he was five minutes away from Jia’s place, you were panicking.

“Jia, did you die in that bathroom?” you called, knocking on the door. “Jaemin’s gonna be here in five!”

The door flew open not a second after, causing you to flinch and step back. Your best friend held up a bottle of Pink Whitney, a mischievous grin crossing her face. You swallowed thickly, bracing yourself for what was about to happen.

The dreaded pregame.

“Did you get that from your parents?” you asked, recalling the dinner parties where they’d pull out wine bottles to share with the other parents.

She shook her head. “You know my senior friend who graduated? Baekhyun?” You nodded, remembering the cute senior that Jia was obsessed with for a while. “I asked him to get me some. It was just, like, ten dollars,” she said. “Can’t let my parents find out, though, so I hid it under the sink.”

“He’s still around? Shouldn’t he be in college?” you asked, snickering as Jia poured way more than a shot into her cup. “You’re gonna kill us before we even get to the party, Jia.”

“We’ll live, and Jaemin’s driving so it’s fine!” With that, she handed you your cup, and you winced at how much she had poured into the cup.

jaemin: here

“Wait, Jia, he’s already here,” you said.

“Drink up, drink up,” she urged. “Quickly.”

In the heat of the moment, you pinched your nose and downed the bitter alcohol in one go, your best friend following suit. There was definitely more than one shot in that cup, and you decided you weren’t going to let Jia pour the shots by herself ever again. She made fun of you for plugging your nose, but you weren’t sure if you could drink it if you smelled it, too. The taste was already overwhelming enough for you.

Afterward, you both got into the back of Jaemin’s car while you kept complaining about why you had to be in the middle seat. When you saw Mark where Renjun was supposed to be, you froze up.

He raised his brows. “What’s up?”

“Where’s Renjun?” you asked. You checked the front seat, but Jeno was queuing up songs on the aux. “Oh, hi, Jeno.”

“Hey, Y/N.” He craned his neck to grin at Jia. “You look pretty.”

“Renjun said he has to grind his essay out tonight,” Mark said, “so I took his place in Jaemin’s car because I don’t trust Hyuck’s driving, even if he is sober.”

You felt like you were interrupting something.

You slid into the middle seat, and your body was already feeling hot. Your head was spinning a little, and you barely noticed Jaemin starting the car.

“Are you drunk already?” Mark asked, and you shook your head, mumbling something incoherent. “What’d you even drink?” When you hardly responded, he looked over at Jia. “Did you pour her shot? She’s done for.”

“You’re supposed to pour it to the first line on those solo cups, Jia,” Jaemin scolded. “At this point, you’re better off waterfalling it.”

“Y/N,” Mark murmured, and you let your head drop onto his shoulder at the mere call of your name. “Whoa, you good?”

You nodded. “Just gonna lie down for a little,” you mumbled, slurring your words.

The rest of the car ride was a blur, and you were completely zoned out while Jaemin started talking about how he blacked out at Taeyong’s last party. You picked up on some bits of info here and there, like Jaemin being invited for dinner by Taeyong’s mother when she found him passed out by the pool.

When he parked on the street, Mark was the one who helped you out of the car, holding onto you tightly so that you wouldn’t fall. You were so preoccupied with trying to walk straight that you ignored Jia giggling at you and Mark together.

“Do you need help?” Mark asked. “I can get you some water.”

Thankfully, though, you felt better than you did in the car. You supposed the initial wave of nausea was all you needed to get over your pregame shots. You politely rejected Mark’s offer, but you still allowed him to guide you into Taeyong’s house, guiding you with one hand on your waist so he didn’t lose you in the crowd.

“Y/N!” Donghyuck called from the counter. His eyes flitted to Mark’s hand on your waist, and his smirk grew.

Everyone started crowding the backyard, so you had more space to move around in the house and be spotted by tiring individuals (read: Donghyuck).

“You’re up to something,” you observed. “I see it in your eyes, Hyuck.”

“I was gonna dare you to match my shots tonight,” Hyuck said, “unless you’re gonna pussy out.”

Mark frowned. “Hyuck, she’s already dru—”

“I’ll do it,” you announced, and Donghyuck cheered to your declaration. You were sure it was a stupid idea because any rational thought in your head clouded over. Nevertheless, you took the red solo cup with vodka that Donghyuck handed you. “Already?”

“A celebratory shot,” he explained, ignoring Mark’s death glare and holding his cup out for a moment to clink against yours. “Here’s to dying of alcohol poisoning tonight!”

“Cheers,” you said, and you downed the shot. The fuzzy feeling came back, and you leaned back against Mark.

Donghyuck chuckled. “She’s so lightweight.”

Mark stroked your hair gently before trying to guide you to the couch. “I’m gonna find some water, okay? Stay here.”

“I don’t think I’m physically capable of moving right now, but okay.”

Shortly after he left, Mark returned with a glass of water. He sat next to you and placed his hand on the small of your back to get you to sit up. Once you did, he held the cup to your lips and had you drink slowly. It was like you were being pampered by your boyfriend.

“Mark,” you started once you finished drinking your water, “why do you keep taking care of me? You should go have fun, too.”

He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. “I can’t just leave you like this.”

“I won’t be mad if you do,” you said. “I mean, you do realize how suspicious you look, right?”

Not again. You weren’t able to filter the words coming out of your mouth right now, and you were terrified that you were going to let something idiotic slip.

“Suspicious?” he asked. “What do you mean?”

“Like… we look like a couple,” you mumbled. “You act like my boyfriend.”

For a moment, you were sure that Mark would back off immediately. You suspected that your comment would mess with his head, making him rethink everything he had been doing or saying. You were afraid that he would start putting up a boundary between you two, daring not to cross it for your sake.

Instead, though, the look on his face was the complete opposite of what you expected. There was a fire in his eyes, and he looked a little proud of himself once he processed what you said. It was like he had been waiting for you to realize that this whole time.

“Do you hate people thinking we’re dating?” he asked.

You faltered. “Uh… no? Isn’t it weird, though?”

“Nah, I don’t think it’s weird,” Mark replied. You bit your lip and tried to think about it from another perspective, like you were trying to grasp how to perceive your relationship with Mark in a more platonic way. “Besides, they’re half-right.”

“What do you mean?”

“I have had a crush on you since, like, forever,” he said casually, like he was stating how many centimeters were in an inch, “so, I guess it looks weird for good reason.”

You weren’t sure if Mark Lee had realized that he just completely flipped your world upside-down.

For the rest of that night, you were unable to think about anything but Mark’s words. He didn’t elaborate on it afterward because Jaemin started dragging him around, and then he was taking care of you when you were throwing up in one of the toilets. You also happened to stumble into the bathroom that Jia and Jeno were making out in, but nothing was going to stop you from puking your guts out into the toilet. As Mark held your hair back and rubbed your back, you were in utter amazement at how he could keep his feelings at bay while being an incredible friend.

So, the night went by without further elaboration on his sudden confession.

You thought it would bury itself under the sand so that you and Mark could go back to being friends. However, you weren’t sure if you wanted to go back to how things were now that this was brought to your attention.

It wasn’t like you completely ignored all the signs. There was that little feeling in the back of your head that screamed at you for being an idiot whenever Mark said or did something odd. However, you always tried to write it off as a kind gesture because you two were childhood friends.

You were starting to realize that part of you never wanted Mark to confess because you were scared of accepting your own feelings for him. You would rather lie to yourself over and over again to keep up the illusion of a friendship you had with him.

You were going to have to do so sooner or later, though, because you received a call from him the day after the party in the middle of the day. You had already called Jia that morning and told her everything that happened. Although she was hungover and barely recalled Mark even being at the party, Jia offered solid advice after interrogating you with several questions as to whether you liked him back or not.

(Later, Jia seemed to recollect memories from the night—ones that you forgot completely. Apparently, your feet were killing you toward the end, and Mark gave you a piggyback ride to the car. He even took off his jacket and put it over your shoulders because you kept complaining about how cold it was. Jia proceeded to explain how Mark nearly tripped over his feet and fell forward because you kissed the back of his neck to thank him.)

You weren’t sure what kept you from admitting your feelings. For some reason, even though the answer was clear in your head, the words “I don’t know” kept leaving your mouth.

“Hey,” Mark greeted you when you picked up. “I’m actually outside. Can I come in?”

You were surprised, but you agreed, “Yeah, just ring the doorbell. I’d come open it, but I’m too lazy to get out of bed.”

“Hangover that bad, huh?” he asked, and right on cue, the doorbell went off. You heard your mother rushing to open it, and Mark mumbled a “see you” before he hung up to greet your mom. When he walked upstairs, he held out a plastic bag to you. “I wasn’t sure what you were craving, so I just bought ice cream.”

“You’re kidding.” You took the bag and took the small carton of Ben & Jerry’s cookies and cream ice cream. You pouted a little. “Mark, you didn’t have to.”

He sat on the edge of your bed and shrugged. “I mean, you know why I did.”

You felt flustered. You didn’t expect him to bring it up again so suddenly, especially since you hadn’t mentioned it yet. You thought he would have waited to make sure you didn’t forget his confession after all the drinks you had last night, but Mark was going in for the kill.

“I’m not gonna pressure you into answering until you’re ready,” he said, “but I just want you to know that I’ve been serious about my feelings for a while. I didn’t just confess to you because I wanted to throw it out there. I’ve had a crush on you since we were, like, twelve.”

Oddly enough, you felt like your word vomit was worsening right now rather than when you were drunk last night. You had just suppressed so many feelings that they all came out at once. Maybe, all these years, you just weren’t ready to be loved. Maybe you were clinging to loneliness because that was more comforting at the time.

Now that your feelings were laying bare in front of Mark, though, you felt like it was high time that you opened up to him.  

“I never considered us dating for real, if I’m gonna be honest,” you said. “We’ve been friends for so long that I thought you were just being nice to me, or that we were so close that you just treated me nicer than other people. I know that sounds really stupid of me, but… I really liked being the only girl you were the closest to, and I don’t think I would’ve been able to stand seeing you with someone else.

“I felt really stupid for the longest time. My heart kept racing when I thought of you, and I kept overthinking every little thing. I kept lying to everyone that I didn’t feel anything or care about whether we got together or not, and I played off every single time I felt something for you. I don’t know why I couldn’t just put what I wanted first for once, but I was so afraid that I was overanalyzing your kindness for something more. I would choose being heartbroken over losing our friendship any day.

“I thought a lot about it last night and today, but I wanna try accepting my feelings,” you finished. “If we’re bound to be something, then why not start now, you know?”

For a second, you thought you had scared Mark off with your entire rant. He was just staring at you with his mouth hung open, and you were wondering if you still had time to knock him out cold so that he could forget everything you dumped on him.

Before you knew it, Mark was dipping his head to press his lips against yours. You were so stunned that you didn’t reciprocate for a moment until you felt him smile against your mouth. Slowly, you wrapped your arms around your neck and pulled him in closer.

Mark was more confident this time, more aggressive than the first time you had kissed him on this very bed. His hands were flat against your sides, sliding up and down in soothing motions. This time, however, the heat in your cheeks was accompanied by butterflies in your stomach and a show of fireworks when you closed your eyes. Your heart was beating erratically and you watched Mark’s Adam’s apple bob when he pulled away.

“I lied back then, too,” you blurted out.

“Huh? When?” he asked.

“When we kissed for the first time here,” you started, “I lied about not feeling anything; I was actually going crazy on the inside.”

Mark smirked at this, and you weren’t sure the butterflies couldn’t get worse until you saw that look on his face. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to your forehead.

“I know,” he said, cradling your cheek with his hand. “By the way, I’d like to try dating, too, so will you be my girlfriend?”

You smiled, and for the first time in six years, it had never been easier to say, “Yes.”

“What the hell?” Johnny gawked at the sight of you and Mark holding hands. “You guys are actually dating? Holy shit, I thought Mark was gonna get rejected sooner or later.”

You and Mark had officially been dating for a few weeks now. It wasn’t like you were keeping it on the down-low or anything, so you were rather surprised that Johnny was just finding out. Either he was extremely slow or men really talked about nothing but video games and cars.

“You’re a terrible friend, Johnny,” Jia told her twin brother. “Anyway, I think you two are cute.”

Mark squeezed your hand a little. “Thanks, Jia.”

“But you two better keep it PG in this household,” Jia continued. “Keep your couple activities away from the Suhs.”

Your cheeks heated up at her words, and you tried to change topics by tossing the remote to your best friend. “Can you pick a movie already? This conversation is making me gag.”

Mark laughed and pressed a chaste kiss to the top of your head while Johnny and Jia were distracted with the movie selection. Neither of you were a big fan of PDA, but sneaking in moments like these made it all the more special. And, even though your relationship with Mark was far more serious now, you knew that spending your days at Johnny and Jia’s house would never cease.

After all, the Suh household was where it all started.

AUTHOR’S NOTE ▸ this fic was genuinely so random like,, i just had this strong inclination to write mark fluff out of nowhere, and it was supposed to be around 5k but then it got to this....... i genuinely thought it was pretty short so im wondering how it would’ve turned out if i spent more than two days on it :o but i really love soft boy mark !!! he’s just too cute ♡ anyways i hope you guys enjoyed this and thank you so much for making it to the end :D 

TAG LIST ▸ @leeknowsredeyeliner​​ @wownajaemin​​ @geniejunn​​ @huangberryyy​​ @halbae​​ @sehunniepot​​ @jjaeyoonoh​​ @subhyuck​​ @itskkung​​ @channiedani​​ @jaemboi64​​ @otchae​​ @n0hyuck​​ @hyuckinx​​ @domhyuckie​​ @justhereforimagines​​ @daegalfangirl​​ @soobin-chois​​ @lmkworld​​ @ily-cuz-i​​

CAN’T TAG ▸ @irrealitys @lilacboba 

[skyrohyucks]

[3:50]

You hugged your knees close to your chest with your arms, your fingers pulling at the hem of your long sleeved t-shirt to cover your whole arm. You messed around on the couch, to find a warm spot to stuff yourself in, which only resulted in uncomfortable positions and muscle cramps.

You finally gave up, curling into yourself, shivering in the icy night air. The fact that your friend lives in a quiet neighborhood with no high rise buildings around makes your night even worse, as the icy winter wind was practically unavoidable in the well ventilated house of his. With all the beds and blankets well occupied, you had no option but to resort to the couch, shivering every time you felt a cool breeze hit your frame.

All it took was a feeling of a hand on your shoulder for you to jolt upright on the couch. You looked up to see Mark, looking at you with tired eyes, a fluffy blanket in his hands, motioning you to make space for him. He himself seemed a bit too cold, which was understandable given his shorts and half sleeved t-shirt. His hair was all over the place, and from what little you can make out in the few streaks of light which through the window, you wondered how someone can look so ethereal.

There was a silent agreement between you as you realized this was the only way you both won't freeze to death by the morning. You scooted over in the little space available on the couch, just enough for him to get on and drape the blanket over your shivering bodies.

He slipped a hand under your waist and pulled your frame against his. His body heat, the warmth of the blanket almost immediately calmed you down. A chill ran down your spine, spreading throughout your body in contrast to the warm and burning sensation arising in your chest. You felt your heart beating rapidly as if it ran a marathon.

You slowly hugged him back, a bit too tight, spreading your arms around his abdomen and tangling your legs with his. You rest your head on his shoulder, shutting your eyes tightly, hoping he won't find your rapid warm breaths grazing his neck uncomfortable.

Mark only responded by pulling you impossibly closer to him. Just when you felt as if you were about to combust, he brought his other hand to where your hand was on his chest and laced his fingers through yours, interlocking his soft hand with yours.

As you comfortably laid there in his warm embrace, you felt your worries of the unanswered questions and feelings lingering in the room drift away with the icy night air.

[kz-i-co]

Don’t Fall In Love: Part 3

Summary: You are one of the most popular bloggers on your campus, telling enriching stories of your personal heartbreaks anonymously. But your readers are not ready to handle the newest heartbreak of finding out your best friend dating your ex.

Paring: Lee Haechan (Donghyuk) x f!reader

Genre: college au | angst x smut

Warning: story may contain strong language, mentions of drugs and alcohol - sexual references - reader discretion advise.

Words: 3.8k

A/N: I'm sorry this one is much shorter, I didn't realize; but I'm already working on the next part and can't wait to write more of it:)

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 4 | Part 5

Masterlist | Nct 127 Masterlist | Nct Dream Masterlist

Taglist: @lovingvoidgoatee, @lunaryoongie, @matchahyuck, @yixingtion, @mosviqu, @ohmyhuenings, @nctzennikki09, @rosiejunnie, @roxyvogue, @5seos, @aaphroditeprjde​, @fullsunkist​

::: LoveAboveMyPinkClouds: blog post #53 The nerve he had to bring him into this. Do you hate me that bad? You really want my shatter pieces to turn into dust huh? Okay so maybe I never pictured D becoming my friend - that is a given but as an enemy? Wouldn't even dream of it. The last few days he has been back has been nothing but hell. But now you want to bring back J, just to mess with me - now this is war. You want to play this game.... :::

"Umm Jaemin? You're friends with Haechan?" By this point, you were surprised Minjeong hasn't caught on herself - if this keeps up, maybe you don't need to tell her.

"Yeah." He shrugged not thinking anything of it.

You wanted to slap the proud smirk Donghyuck was currently wearing off his sorry face. He knew this would hurt you. You're not gonna let this get to you - if anything - play his little game and see who the real winner is.

"(Y/N)......I had no idea-"

"What's wrong Min, let's get our table before this place fills up." You said with confidence and you turned before you could even see the boys reaction.

You felt better already.

You scooted into a secluded booth and began to look at the menu. "Um me and Haechan are going to get us some drinks." Minjeong dragged him along quickly as Jaemin scooted next to you looking at his phone.

"So what brings you here? Does he have some twisted revenge against me or wants to make me feel like shit."

Jaemin looked up at you with that damn charming smile you remember. "He just told me that you badly need to get laid and you're really desperate."

That asshole.

You sighed trying to hold in your anger. "But why you? You don't do relationships, remember?" You snipped.

"But I'm always down, if you ever want to just hook up, especially if you're desperate."

"I'm not that desperate." You snapped.

"You seem desperate." He shrugged.

"You know what-"

"(Y/N), I got you a cosmo." She looked at you like you were about to break.

"Thank you." You smiled. "Hopefully it's strong enough." You started sipping immediately.

Donghyuck was enjoying every bit of this situation and you knew you were gonna make him pay - if it's the last thing you do.

"Dance anyone?" You suggested after the waitress took your order and everyone stared not budging.

"We need to wait for our food." Minjeong shrugged.

"Suit yourselves." You got up making your way over to the dance floor, letting loose like you wanted the past few hard days. Dance like no one was watching.

"She's been having a tough time lately." Minjeong excuses you as Donghyuck shook his head flabbergasted at your actions.

He remembered back when you both started dating of how shy you were and it was him that broke you out of your shell and now here you were acting out of character just to get a rise out of him.

"I guess we're dancing." Jaemin got up and joined you to your surprise.

The you from yesterday would of pushed him away or even thrown a shoe at him since that's what he deserved but you were here to make a stance and you could care less - your target was Donghyuck and you wanted him to know that you were done playing his games.

Jaemin held your hips tightly as you started grinding up against him, getting lost in the music. You could feel Donghyuck's eyes across the room, eating out the palm of your hand.

You wanted to give him a night to remember. A remembrance of the girl he lost, the girl he so happened to cheat on. You wanted him to regret breaking your heart.

Maybe it worked or maybe it didn't but it definitely caused attention the second he dragged Minjeong to the dance floor. Minjeong wasn't as great of a dancer as you since she still lacked some confidence but you were glad she was having fun at least.

The night turned into something much more exciting then you originally thought, you even found yourself having fun with Jaemin to your surprise or that could be the drinks talking but the looks you were getting from Donghyuck alone was definitely worthy of talking about to your blog first thing tomorrow. But the only problem was he was still so damn hard to read. You couldn't tell if he was upset due to his plan failing from your non-miserable state or just pure jealousy from clinging onto his best friend.

Your next attempt to push him over the edge was enough to stir something up inside him sending him back to the bar and leaving a drunk Minjeong to keep dancing to herself on the dance floor not even fazed. But once your lips touched Jaemin's in a sweet tender kiss, things soon got messier that it took you a bit to pull away and snap back to reality.

"My offer still stands." He said once pulled away.

"Not a chance." You spoke smoothly before making your way to the bar, sitting right next to Donghyuck.

"I'll take a gin and tonic." You spoke before turning your head to him sipping on some alcoholic drink.

"I couldn't help but notice you seem a little pissed off." You smirked to yourself taking your first sip of probably your last drink tonight. "I mean, I'm having a great time." You were definitely not drunk enough for this night to continue.

"Why would I be pissed off?" He turned towards you putting his drink down.

"I don't know....you tell me."

"Pff, you're hysterical." He was definitely pissed as he turned back to his drink.

"What?"

"You're crying over Jaemin and now you're sucking him off like some-"

"Pssh, I knew it." You shook your head making him finally glance at you. "You invited him to cause me pain for some sick revenge you have against me and you know what.....I'm not letting you two hurt me anymore. I've learned to stop letting you control my life."

"That seems hard to believe when you're purposely trying to make me jealous." He arched his eyebrows, taking another sip.

"I don't know what you're talking about." You shrugged. "Why would I care about making you jealous."

"I don't know.....you tell me." He reused your words.

"Okay fine.....maybe I was trying to make you jealous." You shrugged not caring anymore. "It's clearly working."

He rolled his eyes. "It's not working, I don't give a shit if you're all over him." He continued. "It actually makes me sad because I know that's not you out there."

"You don't know me anymore." It was your turn to sip your drink.

"You're right I don't........I remember you used to be all cute and shy.....too embarrassed to even dance with me and now you're out there acting like a slut." That hit you hard. "You're better than that."

"Am I though? I'm just your crazy ex that slept with all your friends right?" You teared up. "I guess that makes me a slut, might as well act like it."

He wasn't expecting that answer. "You're not a slut."

You turned towards him.

"I said you're acting like one, that doesn't mean I think you're one.....that's your problem (Y/N), you take everything out of proportion."

"Why are we still talking about me? You're the asshole for bringing him." You turned and saw Minjeong and Jaemin dancing playfully.

"You're right.....I wanted you to be upset."

"After everything we went through, I can't believe you would do this." You got up from your stool and began moving away from him.

"(Y/N) wait." He followed you after throwing some money on the bar.

"Take us home please." You spoke before he grabbed your wrist making you turn around.

"You don't get to be pissed at me." You looked up at him. "Or do you want me to remind you everything you have done to me since we've broke up."

You sighed. "Last night all I did was help you and you still selfishly criticized me."

"Everything okay?" Minjeong asked but it was clear she was way passed your average drunk.

"Everything is great, I yelled at your boyfriend for paying the bill."

"Really?" She smiled.

"Yes, but we're leaving now, okay let's go." You guided her out as you wanted out of this place immediately.

::: LoveAboveMyPinkClouds: blog post #53 Well, I was right......but that doesn't make it feel better. Actually I feel more like shit. Maybe we're just bad to be around each other. He's using me and I'm using him. Or more so he's torturing me as I'm torturing him. There is no closure in our relationship, there never was. So what should I do, pretend like it never happened or confront him and just get the bullshit out of the way. I guess I'll see what happens next.... Xoxo peace :::

Minjeong was passed out the second she hit her bed, these passed few days is the most you've ever seen her drink and it's probably your fault.

"She's asleep." Donghyuck was much more reserved by this point.

You nodded grabbing your glass of water as he came into the kitchen, leaning on the opposite counter from you. "Taking my advice I see."

"I didn't even drink that much tonight. I'm just thirsty." You shrugged as he rolled his eyes. "Or maybe you do give the best advices."

"Wow a compliment." He smirked slightly.

"Well, I've been thinking about what you said.....you're right - I have been unfair and I'm sorry. Thank you for taking care of me even though I don't deserve it."

"Of course you deserve it.....you just.....you need to learn to keep your mouth shut every once in a while." He softly smiled and you only returned one as a subtle response.

"We need to tell her." He continued.

"Tell her what?" You were dumbfounded.

"You know what." He gave you a hard look. "She's gonna start suspecting something, especially if she remembers tonight."

"She won't remember, she's not a drinker." He arched his eyebrows. "But yes I agree, I'm just not ready yet. She's gonna be upset."

"She's gonna be more upset the longer we keep it from her."

"Well, breaking up with her is still an option."

"You would want that wouldn't you?" He shook his head. "Just so you won't be called out for your lies."

"I admit I lied and I wish I can take it back but don't try to pin this on me - you're the one who went after my best friend and you're the one that cheated."

He rolled his eyes. "I'm done trying to prove my innocence - I told you what happened more than enough times."

"I remember like it was yesterday. You let her put your hands on you, you let her take your pants off-"

"You want to know what happened....here." He pinned you back towards the counter and grabbed your hands and placed them near his belt buckle.

You couldn't help but feel your heart beating faster. "Her dress got caught on my belt buckle." He sighed. "Right here."

"That's it." He confirmed.

"No, I saw you-"

"That's because when she yanked away from me, my buckle snapped off. It's just that simple (Y/N)."

"It's just that simple and you choose not to believe it."

"Well, why was she close enough in the first place?" You looked up at him and he looked away for a second.

"See, I know better." You tried to push him away.

"Okay fine, you were right.....she made a move on me, is that what you want to hear......But that doesn't mean I touched her, kissed her, or slept with her, or whatever you want to call it. - I pushed her away and you choose to not to believe me."

You looked down avoiding his stare.

::: LoveAboveMyPinkClouds: blog post #54 The sad thing is, the more I think about my breakup with D, the more I feel like maybe I did make a mistake. Because what he told me now and than felt completely different but maybe with time I grew to accept it. I was suppose to trust him. Maybe I should have trusted him. But what I saw and what I thought felt too real in the moment and it broke me - I never wanted to see his face again - but was it fair? :::

You felt your eyes water for the second time that night and now you were really at war with yourself. You didn't even know what else to say except - "I'm sorry for not believing you."

You looked up at him and he almost looked defeated - like he was expecting you to fight harder and longer but you just gave in.....just like that.

"You're sorry?" He whispered still astonished by your reaction as you simply nodded.

Maybe he was broken over this breakup as much you, because you never pictured him cracking down so easily because once he leaned in there was no more going back. You created this mess and now you had to live with the consequences.

Consequences to state the fact that you remembered your hands were still resting on his belt buckle as your proximity was dangerously close. You never wanted him more than this very moment. Almost like you two never broke up.

You weren't making it clear for any of you and once you found yourself meeting in the middle, you knew this was gonna ruin things for many many reasons. You were sure he was gonna immediately pull away from your accidentally act of desperation but his lips were brushing yours in return just as desperate and you were quick to responde, feeling every inch of him. You almost forgot the way he kissed you, so needy, so rushed - like it would be your last and you honestly thought it would be.

He traveled his hands down your legs causing you to hop up sitting on the kitchen counter making him rest comfortably between them as they wrapped around his waist. 5 months....5 months since you felt him in this way. You couldn't express how much you missed this - how much you wanted this.

This couldn't be good where this was leading - nor did you know how to stop it. You couldn't help gyrating your hips along with his in more acts of desperation that you both needed from each other. You gasped for air, sending him off to kiss down your jaw and onto your neck, marking in the process, making this go deeper than it already was.

You needed more but you knew you were gonna regret this later. The moment you quickly tore his belt off, this wasn't going to end anytime soon. And the worst part - you didn't care - you didn't care how much you were hurting your best friend at this very moment. You felt as though you were hurting worse and he was yours first and you selfishly kept telling yourself that over and over again.

You reached in rubbing the outside of his briefs as his lips traveled down father towards your chest. He softly moaned causing butterflies in your stomach to erupt. He leaned back up kissing you once again and moving his fingers inside your dress tugging down your lacy panties, until they hit the floor.

This was really happening.

You tugged on his briefs more pulling him out in the process. He was already hard for you letting you stroke your hand up and down, feeling every inch of him. He pulled away watching you with a quiet exchanged like he knew what you were thinking and the same with him. Like he was waiting for you to put a stop to this but you couldn't - you wanted him.

He tugged your dress up, traveling his fingers up your thigh reaching your already soaked area. He took one last glance before leaning down bringing his lips back to your already swollen lips. You were trying hard not to moan as he slid two fingers inside, giving you chills feeling his ring stretch you more. You cried against his lips making him smile in return.

This was wrong - you kept saying. Also the fact that not only did you falsely accuse Donghyuck from being a cheater but now you were actually making him one.

He pulled away and the only exchange was your heavy breathing as you both continued touching each other. You were growing impatient by this point and his fingers weren't enough to satisfy you - you wanted all of him and the moment you pulled him closer to your needy opening, there was no turning back. A sin was being made and you knew you would never be forgiven and if you thought telling Minjeong the truth was hard enough now, this was even worse.

"Fuck." You couldn't hold back no more as you tried to adjust to his member.

"You need to be quiet." He whispered next to your ear as he kissed down your neck once again.

You held on to the edge of the countertop as your other hand wrapped around his shoulders pulling you up to bounce off of him desperately. It was getting more intense by the second and you both had to contain your tone as you were only a wall away from giving everything away.

This shouldn't be happening....

You could say you've done it in risky situations before but this definitely took the whole cake. What if either Jimin or Minjeong came out to get a drink. You needed to put an end to this.....but you couldn't.

"Fuck I missed you." You whined, still out of breath.

"I knew that from the beginning. You reeked of jealousy." He teased.

"I was very jealous. I hated seeing you with her." You moaned more feeling him deeper and deeper. "Would you fuck her as good as this?"

"You're the only one I would fuck like this." He kissed up your jaw line again. "I love seeing you so desperate."

"So trying to hook me up with Jaemin was a lie."

"I never wanted you to hook up with Jaemin, but I knew it would push you over the edge."

"You're lucky you were right for once because I wanted him to make you jealous so bad."

"We both know that would work." You smirked at his answer and he pulled out and you slid off the counter turning around leaning on the cold surface in front of you. He didn't hesitate filling you up once again causing you to moan more from the new position.

You didn't even know if either of you were telling the truth or just your desperate hormones taking control. Donghyuck always knew how to sweet talk you during foreplay. He liked to tell you what you wanted to hear and in this case, you just hoped he was being sincere. You couldn't handle another heart break.

You leaned back placing your hands on the edge of the counter once again as he held your hips in place. You felt like you were going to unravel any second by the way he would move against you in a rapid motion but quickly stop and hit you with a slow gyrating motion smoothly. It was addicting, you never wanted it to end.

"Donghyuck." You whined as he took you a step further wrapping a hand around your front, moving in a circular motion. He was driving you closer and closer to the edge.

The fact that he was driving you crazy when you knew he could do worse was still surprising you by the minute. He was holding back.

"You about to cum?" He held you up so your back was in line with his chest. He kissed down your neck for the hundredth time tonight, pushing deeper inside you.

"Ah huh." You nodded and you can feel him smirk against your skin. He loved seeing you so weak against him.

"Can you wait for me?" He said, his voice causing you to snap any moment.

"Fuck....I can't." You moaned louder.

"Shhh, you're gonna wake everyone up."

"Then please hurry." You begged.

He leaned his head on your shoulder as his motions became slower and sloppier, waiting desperately for you to come undone together.

You felt him spill and immediately covered your mouth as he knew you were gonna moan letting go and that's exactly what you did. You had no self control when it came to your vocal cords.

He rocked against you slowly as you both came down from your high and you knew the moment he pulled out and buttoned his pants back up - the regrets would come back flooding in. You fixed your dress and picked up your panties as silence over came you.

"Donghyuck....I- I'm really sorry." He looked down avoiding your eyes. "I never wanted this to be such a mess."

He looked back up at you softly. "I know."

"But we can't keep doing this to Minjeong, she needs to know the truth." He continued and you just nodded trying to keep it together.

"I know." You said softly.

"I'm gonna go." You could tell he was bothered by this whole situation - maybe not with you but with himself.

"Y-yeah." Your voice was weak. You didn't want him to leave, not like this. There was so much more that needed to be said. "I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"Goodnight (Y/N)." He leaned forwards kissing your forehead sweetly.

You couldn't help but feel like it was a final goodbye. You definitely made matters worse and you didn't know what to do about it. Everything was a mess - you were a mess and he was perfect and you should have never let him go in the first place.

::: LoveAboveMyPinkClouds: blog post #54 Okay so maybe my plan worked but I didn't feel good about it. D tried to hurt me by bringing J back in this game and I was the one that won by making him jealous. A pissed off, jealous D was hot and I never wanted him more than ever - it was sickening. But that doesn't mean I should have acted on it. Yes, you heard that correctly. Here it comes..... I might lose most of my followers by this point but you were right - you deserve to know. A horrible breakup was nothing more than a stupid misunderstanding - a stupid wardrobe malfunction that caused such chaos and despair. But the worst thing was - I should have trusted my boyfriend. Yikes - over dramatic I know. But what would you do? You believe what you see. And at this point - my eyes treated me like shit. I hope you guys like cliff hangers because what I did tonight was unforgivable - I was weak and desperate and the truth hit me like a train. I'm not asking for forgiveness - I don't deserve it. I don't deserve my best friend. I slept with her boyfriend. Yes that is correct. I slept with D and I'm still in love with him. What should I do now? Xoxo peace :::

>> Next Part

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[woozten-x]

#. 𝐕𝐢𝐭𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐧 | 𝐉𝐨𝐡𝐧𝐧𝐲

‹3 gif originally posted by nctsworld

[ ; M.List including other Neos! ]

─ Synopsis: Unexpectedly, your own demons had crept up on you without any warning. Being all too familiar with this feeling of anxiety, doubt, and insecurity - you have broken down into tears in front of your boyfriend.  No matter how many tears have been shed, Johnny Suh is your vitamin willing to fight off every plague affecting your mind.

─ Pairing: Idol!Johnny Suh x Gender-Neutral Reader

─ Genre: One-Shot, Angst w. Comfort, Fluff/Wholesome

─ Concepts: Idol!Johnny Suh, established relationship, johnny comforting reader basically, cuddling with johnny <3, reader being insecure / feeling like a burden, implications of reader suffering with depression / depressive episodes, some johnny humor because it makes my heart ache less when writing it, this hitting too close to home why tf did i write this at 2 am

─ Count of Words: 3.2k

─ Inspiration of the work: Godspeed by Frank Ocean + “Girl, you gotta take it all baby and i’ll be your therapist for the day, that’s okay.” (Vitamin by NCT 127) 

❒ a/n: this is self-indulgent, but please take care of yourself. i really do hope yall are doing alright <3 just a reminder: you guys arent alone! and it’s okay to have bad days. stay safe ෆ

Something felt wrong today.

It was one of those days where you returned back home from work, the long hours taking a toll on your drained body and your mind weighing heavily with unexpected burdens. Though today was no different from your usual schedule, you suddenly reached a limit of your own mentality; however, what could have triggered it? You cannot find one explanation or one reason why it would happen so suddenly.

To you, it was simply one of those days where you begin to crumble without much real reason; fingertips gripping onto the surface tightly yet begging to loosen, as though you didn’t mind the idea of falling.

Standing in front of the counter with a heavy chest, you came to a pause with what you were doing; the cup of ramen steaming in front of you, a cloud of heat rising and causing your own vision to become hazy. Tiredly, you look down at the softened noodles, the packets of spices sitting near your frozen hands. Slowly turning to the time displayed on the microwave with green, glowing numbers; you read the late numbers of the night, knowing your boyfriend will be coming home in a few minutes.

Knowingly, Johnny Suh would be returning with his own tiredness cursing his tensed body. But, you could vividly imagine him returning home with a smile appearing on his face upon seeing you; his whole body led to you, as though he had a set course every time he sees you - he is always navigating his way to you, no matter how heavy his body feels. No matter how his feet drags, he is approaching you with a warm smile and eyes flickering like a steady flame of a candle.

Though your imagination is soon to be reality, you continue to feel this heaviness - briefly, you thought it was exhaustion from working today. Maybe the fatigue is finally wrapping you up in this state of mind. Tearing open the packets of the spices, you pour them inside and pick up the cup while walking over to the table and pulling a chair out for you to take a seat. The chair softly groaned once you sat down, the creaking wood telling its old age; regardless of the older condition, it was far from useless.

Ready to take a bite of your cooked noodles picked up with your chopsticks, you felt your heart drop without any unknown reason; the familiarity of it gradually growing some common sense, as you realized it was something willing to crush every will in your mind. Supposedly, a demon you would name ‘Anxiety’ had decided to haunt you for the day - maybe that is why you felt the way you do. However, what could make you feel this way so suddenly?

The unlocking of the door reaches you, the haunting silence disrupted with the familiar sound of the door opening and footsteps entering inside. “I am home!” A voice calls out, a familiar habit he always had whenever he came home, despite how strained his voice could be from the constant practicing and recording of an idol. It was those three words willing to reach out towards you.

Johnny enters the kitchen after turning the corner, a charming smile uplifting his lips - it was one that showed no hardships, only thriving with the unbearable love he had for you. “Oh, you are having a late night snack?” He asks, taking off his bucket hat and letting his long fingers run through the untamed strands of hair; he approaches you, his towering height lowering for him to place a chaste kiss on your cheek. Your lips twitch up into a small smile, managing to forget the weighing emotions you’ve felt previously.

“Is something the matter?” Johnny questions, noticing the lack of enthusiasm with his return. His gaze observing you closely, his intuition tugging on the possibility of something is wrong; a glaze of worry overcoming his sweet gaze, his face becoming more serious as his smile drops. Briefly, you thought about telling him the anxiety plaguing your mind, however you stayed silent - in comparison to your boyfriend, you are not an idol who is working long hours due to the undying passion for music.

You shouldn’t feel this way when someone like your boyfriend can be struggling with much heavier burdens. You can’t tell him that your mood had suddenly depleted, the very demons you were born with are tormenting you for the sake of their entertainment; how can you explain your feelings, when it was something you feel sometimes because your mind had been cursed since you were born. Wasn’t it better to keep your lips sealed, knowing no one will understand why you are the way you are?

Slowly, his large hand rises to place on your cheek, his thumb softly caresses the skin and you feel terrible; why were you acting so sensitive? Without any warning whatsoever, tears well up in your eyes and you lean into his touch - hoping to gather all his warmth, hoping his very presence would calm the sea of thoughts crashing in your head. Wiping away your tears and pulling a chair next to you, Johnny quietly sits in front of you with a patient ear.

“Did something happen?” He gently speaks out, your vulnerable state being treated with delicacy; his words considered carefully, eyes keen on the very details of your expression. He felt the ache within his heart, his sympathetic heart weeping upon seeing you hurt - he never wants to see you hurt.

You shook your head, “N-No…I just…I guess, I am just tired.” You laugh through your tears, trying to calm down the stream leaving your watery eyes. It seemed never-ending, as you continued to wipe with the back of your hand; you felt like a child with an uncontrollable amount of tears.

Johnny nods slowly, deciding to not push any further. He is aware of how you are, he has dealt with these things in the past; he is no stranger, knowing he is surrounded with plenty of people dealing with the same issues. Despite it all, Johnny loves you for who you are - he is one to believe in the idea of love having no reason; he always accepts the humane side of you, no matter how difficult of a position he is in.

Glancing around, he leaned over to the table and gathered some napkins. “Baby, let me see that pretty face of yours.” He lightly spoke, your hands moving away momentarily for him to pat the tears away with the napkin. Sniffling and looking back at him with puffy eyes, he chuckles - “Don’t cry anymore, precious. It hurts to see you like this.” He talks smoothly, the very words bringing you to ease and you slowly calmed down from the breakdown.

Leaning back in his seat, the napkin crumbles up in his hand and he tosses it aside onto the table. “Come here,” Johnny says with a hand patting onto his lap and you quietly nod. Moving towards him and turning your back to him, you settle down on his lap and you pick up a napkin to wipe your runny nose. Your boyfriend reaches over, picking up the cup of noodles; holding the chopsticks in hand, he stirs the mildly cold noodles and you move on his lap to face him properly.

“Say ahh~” he teases, picking up the noodles with the chopsticks and pointing them towards your lips. You laugh a bit, parting your lips for your boyfriend to feed you your late night snack; although, your appetite has faded away, you are obligated to Johnny’s attempt of taking care of you. He grins at you, “Is it good? The high level of sodium can seriously take you to cloud nine.” You laugh at his joke, covering your mouth to hide away the chewed up noodles.

Swallowing the food, you meet Johnny’s eyes - love harboring in his gaze, glowering back at you with his contagious optimism. You lean forward, resting your forehead against his - “Did you eat already?” you ask and he nods, a smile lingering on his lips while he leans in to sneak a kiss upon your lips. “I ate with the guys before coming here. Do you want to get takeout or anything?” He asks, eyes roaming along your face - a beauty he was all familiar with.

You shook your head, “No, I am not that hungry. Don’t worry…” you assure him. Wrapping your arms around his neck, you tug him closer and you rest your head on his shoulder; habitually, your fingers comb through his brown locks and Johnny lets out a sigh of relief - a reaction he always had whenever you do so. “Let me drop you off to bed, precious.” Johnny said, the cup of ramen long forgotten and his arms are snaking around your waist. Easily, he lifts you up and instinctively you wrap your legs around his waist.

Burying your face at the crook of his neck, you clung onto him tightly; not daring to let the opportunity of loosening your grip take over, thinking he would disappear anytime soon. Maybe he will. Surely, for you, you are in no mindset of being alone - you needed Johnny. “Is my koala bear all comfortable?” He playfully comments, carrying you back to the shared bedroom and he places a knee onto the mattress. Seemingly so, he has no intention of letting you go also.

“You are just so warm.” You mumble against his skin, a shudder running along his spine once feeling your breath and he chuckles. Placing your back onto the bed, the mattress dips underneath your weight and you move away slightly to pout at him - “Come to bed quickly for cuddles…” you faintly plead, meeting his eyes with your tender gaze. Johnny nods, “I know, baby. I’ll wash up quickly.” He promises, his grasp weakening along with yours. Moving away, you are left empty, a frown expressing your features.

Laying on the bed, you roll onto your side and rest your hand on your boyfriend’s pillow. Fingers fidgeting with the fabric of the pillowcase, you let out a heavy sigh; eyes closing, insecurity arises in your head and leads you to endless tunnels with a never ending darkness. Hearing the shower turning on in the bathroom, you did your best to focus on the sound of the running water; the stream of water hitting against the marble, you try to shut off your brain for the meantime.

It’s always been so difficult. Sometimes, you doubt your own strength to continue on with these demons leeching onto you; what happens if you hit your lowest and no one, especially Johnny, will be able to help you? It is a continuous war, one that is willing to keep you up at night and string you along through a living nightmare. A nightmare of regret, insecurity, fear and loneliness…Would people understand the way you feel?

You are misunderstood. You are one to bear all the pain, knowing you have a limit yet you are a soldier pursuing and continuing - but, for what purpose? You have no idea, but you know you can’t be selfish when there are other people, who dealt with the worst; for example, your boyfriend - how could you complain about your exhaustion when Johnny is the one pursuing a dream for years without a breather.

Memories of your boyfriend of being a trainee replays in your head, a sense of guilt for being the way you are once you recall them; how could your own problems compare to that? You knew, Johnny had shed blood, sweat and tears to be in the very place he is, at the moment. You knew, Johnny held his head high with the many ignorant people spitting venom at his success; no matter how much you ponder, you can’t find a reason why your own exhaustion occurs for any good reason.

Johnny knew these episodes occurred. You cannot help but feel like a burden, a let-down who drags him down whenever he holds onto his dream with a desire to be happy.

Unknowingly enough, a warm streak rolls down your cheeks and you lift up your hands to quickly wipe them away. Sniffling quietly and burying your face into your pillow, you try to compose yourself; trying to forget the pain weighing your chest and the belittling thoughts exploding in your heavy mind. Slowly you inhale through your nose then exhale through your parted lips, the action barely taking apart the crushing weight in your chest.

“Don’t cry, precious.” You hear and you remove your hands from your face, Johnny standing next to the bed and his hair wet with droplets dropping onto his bare torso. Tenderly, he meets your eyes like a gentle flame of a candlelight; he moves onto the bed, the mattress dipping under his weight and he is opening his arms. You sigh, moving closer to him and curling up, your head resting on his chest with his arms wrapped around your waist.

Gray sweatpants clad his long legs, moving to intertwine his legs with yours and simply hold you close with a tight grasp. “We should listen to music. What should we listen to?” He murmurs against your skin, his breath meeting the skin of your forehead and you tilt your head to look up at him - “Anything is okay,” you answer back. He nods, a hand reaching out onto the bedside table to pick up his phone and tap on the screen onto the familiar green app for streaming music. Nuzzling your head against his chest, you lift up a hand to place onto his stomach; mindlessly, you listen onto his faint heartbeat and let your fingers caress the relaxed muscle sculpted on his lean body.

Familiar music of Frank Ocean reaches your ears, the melodies gentle and slow; you let out a sigh, the song becoming a tranquility for your mind and body. Johnny places his phone down, “Tell me about your day, baby.” He says tenderly, his head tilting to face you and you look up at him. “It’s just the same old same old…Nothing really happened,” You say with a shrug. Johnny smiles, “So? I want to hear what you did…What did you have for lunch?” he inquires; searching for any topic to talk about you.

With his eagerness to hear about your day, you ended up speaking to him about what had happened in your day. His hand lightly pats your shoulder, following the steady rhythm of the music softly playing in the room; you are completely at ease with Johnny, the scourge within the depths of your mind is quieting down in his very presence. Occasionally, Johnny would ask questions - engaged in the conversation, and not missing a detail from your own storytelling.

Though it seemed normal, Johnny was glad to hear you speak about it. “You did so well today, precious.” He praises, a chaste kiss being planted on your forehead and you smile at his words. The conversation moves along to Johnny’s day; his usual telling and exaggerated recalling of events in his story made you laugh, your eyes holding the familiar glow that Johnny was willing to protect and reignite over and over again; after all, your very own happiness is his own.

“Maybe you should take a day off and join me in the studio,” Johnny suggests with a childish gleam in his eyes. You chuckle, “You’ll end up playing around too much and won’t get much done.” You said, rolling your eyes. Your boyfriend has always been the playful type, one who goofs off a little too much in your company; he can’t help it, he loves hearing you laugh and glow because of his antics. He hums, looking up at the ceiling like he was deep in thought - “Seeing my baby smile is my vitamin d though.”

Your breathy laugh leaves you, “You know, you can overdose on vitamins.”

“Oh really?” Johnny looks at you, his playful gaze reflecting back at you once you met his gaze. He leans forward, “What happens if I can’t get enough of you?” He whispers and you feel your own lips tug wider than before - if that was possible. “You have an addiction, Mr. Suh.” You reply back, a laugh leaving him with your own intertwining with his; he places his hand on your cheek, leaning in to capture your smiling lips with his own. Returning the kiss, you close your eyes and raise your hand to rest atop of his.

Unfortunately, a tug in your head reminds you of the misfortune plaguing your current state of mind. You sigh, “Johnny…Would you ever get tired of me?” you quietly ask. The seriousness of the words caused the serenity surrounding the two of you to collapse, the question causing Johnny’s smile to fade only slightly; even if you weren’t willing to share the unspoken stress cursing your mind on this very day, he understands. “I don’t want that to happen nor do I want you to grow tired of me…” He replies back, his eyes roaming your expression. Suddenly, you held his hand into yours; his longer yet larger fingers intertwined with yours, holding onto him in a silent yet selfish request - you wanted him to stay with you forever.

“I’m sorry for always being a handful…Sometimes, I wish I could tell you about it…But, I never know how to explain it.” You admit, knowing your own behavior could be draining; any sane person would find you bothersome. Johnny guides the hand holding onto his, planting a kiss on the back of your hand - “You know, precious…It’s okay to be human.” He simply says, the words holding no deeper meaning; he is willing to support you.

“You can rely on me anytime, okay? I don’t care how tired I am, you’ve been with me for so long…I can carry you through hell and back, baby. That’s why i’ve been focusing on my muscles, I am always ready to support you.” he said with a lighthearted tone, a chuckle leaving him after.

Suddenly, your bottom lip trembles and you shakily exhale - “W-Why are you like this?” you mutter out, a small laugh leaving you after. You never know how Johnny could be so serious yet unserious at the same time; however, it was one of the traits you always loved about him. He is genuine, always wanting the best for you despite how hard your day has been; he is your light and possibly the only light at the end of the dark tunnels.

Johnny grins, “I love you.” He says when pulling you close. Your head buried against the crook of his neck, he could feel the warm tears against his bare skin but no complaint fell from his lips; he held you with fingers stroking along your back. Leaning down slightly, his breath fans your ear - “I’ll always love you for who you are. I’ll love you until the time we die…” he whispers, stroking your back as you cry out all the stress weighing you.

Knowingly, he will keep his word; a loyal man who is willing to stay by your side, regardless of the hardships or the many flaws you hold. He will be there, holding you and supporting you throughout - he believes you are the strongest person he’s met. Despite the weakest moments, he is always there to give you a home to come back to - to you, he is the one where your heart and mind could rest always.

This very love continues to prosper by your very own vitamin - Johnny Suh.

[fly-forever-young]

Yo imagine John teaching you how to suck him? I hope it's okay with smuts hehe🥺🥺🥺

•~𝐉𝐨𝐡𝐧𝐧𝐲 𝐓𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐮𝐜𝐤 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐒

Masterlist Navigation

"Oh wow-" You say looking at his dick, you knew it was big but you didn't imagine it this big, like his length and width, how is it possible that you can take it all in your mouth.

"Don't be scared baby" Johnny tries to reassure you noticing your nervousness.

"It's just that ... I don't know how to do it ..." You feel a little embarrassed and you feel your cheeks on fire as you look down. Johnny takes your chin in his hands raising your head so you can look at him "Don't worry, I'll teach you"

You nod and Johnny reaches down to kiss you, he's sitting on the sofa and you on the ground between his legs.

"Put one hand at the base and with the other hand with your fingers spread the pre cum on the tip" With your thumb you spread his pre cum where you can, you see his expression contract immediately with pleasure and you want to see him it enjoy more.

"Start touching the tip with your tongue now" You do do as he tells you, Johnny groans silently, you can feel his taste is new to you but is a pleasant sensation. "Now- Put the tip in your mouth and keep moving your tongue" Johnny stares at you intently not wanting to miss this moment, he sees how your soft lips are around his cock making him moan, Johnny has to fight the desire to take your head with hands and fuck your mouth

"Pump your head back and forth" He says and it takes all his self-control while you stick his cock even further into your mouth moving your head back and forth while your tongue tries to touch as many spots as possible . "Fuck Y / N-" Johnny's moans make you want to do more and as soon as you put his cock in your mouth a little more his tip touches the back of your mouth you feel breathless almost throwing up and you detach yourself immediately.

You try to catch your breath while Johnny strokes your hair but he can't hide his grin as he looks at you. "Baby why did you do it? You're not ready to put it all in your mouth yet"

"I thought I could do it" You say looking at him and his gaze softens but he always has the same grin on his face. "It was still nice to see you choke with my cock" you try to look at him badly but you can't help but smiles "Let's continue we have time all night"

Hey I hope you like it ❤, sorry for the delay of the request but I am far behind with all the requests, it's fine with the smuts you can request, if you have any doubts about the requests (closed now) consult the Navigation there are the indications byy 🦋❤❤❤

[liliansun]

I love you - l. donghyuck

(0.4 wc)

Papers spread out all across the desk, the lamp shining down in the far back corner barely lit up the space enough for you to even attempt to regain focus on all the work that you have yet to get done. With your fingers gripping the sides of your hair, you groaned with what felt like your entire being. School was becoming too much, life was becoming too stressful and you wish the world would open beneath you and swallow you hole if it meant you could escape the demons that were chasing you in your dreams.

Just as you were about to swipe every book and pen off your desk, the door to your bedroom opens and you already knew who it was. Haechan peaked his head through the crack, looking over to see you hunched over at the desk. Your body was visibly tense, frustration emitting from your stance alone. Quietly, he made his way into the room with a few of your favorite snacks in hand. Taking in slow and shallow breaths, you pulled your hands from the grip they had on the strands of your hair and lifted your head towards his direction.

“Break time?” The playful look on his face brought a smile to your lips, he always knew when you were overwhelmed and what to do to save you from yourself. “I’m almost done, I just gotta find—“ His hands meet your shoulders once he found a spot to set everything down on the bed. Gently massaging the muscles underneath, he let out a breath as he leaned down to place a kiss on your crown. “Shh, no talking, it’s time to relax a bit.” Without fighting, you leaned back into the chair till your head rested against his abdomen.

“Thank you hyuck.” Although you mumbled it, he knew you wanted him to hear it and his heart couldn’t help, but swell. The two of you stay in this moment till you break yourself free from your own thoughts and Haechan somehow convinces you to come eat with him. Instead of going back to your work that was how abandoned, he pulled you to the couch where you two laid with your legs tangled within another and watched mindless tv for background noise. As he combed his fingers through your hair, you listened to the sound of his heart beating in his chest. Nothing was said for the next few hours, but the actions you two carried out exactly what both of your hearts were screaming. I love you.

a/n: @leeluc this is for you sis,, read it when you’re stressed and know that it’s all gonna be okay 🫶

[cruelsuhmer]

unraveling velvet

This is a repost of one of the fics from my previous blog. I am the original author of this fic and thus have full permission to post it here. Minor revisions have been made.

word count: 2.9k

pairings: jaehyun x reader 

genre & au: angst w/ a happy ending, university au

warnings: none

a/n: originally for @/flirtyhyuck (now deactivated). inspired by mitski’s “lonesome love” and “washing machine heart.” the title sounds kind of smutty, but this fic is rated g, i prommy.

You don’t expect to see Jaehyun much after a chance encounter on the roof, but he’s everywhere, and it’s not long before all you can think about is him: his smile, his eyes, his dimples, and the way a simple hello from him feels like velvet against your ears.

For you, Jung Jaehyun is becoming a problem—a very big, very beautiful one.

“You know, they usually lock the doors here.”

The voice startles you, your shoes scraping across the tiles of the roof, producing an ungodly noise that breaks the quiet of the night more than the voice ever could. You look over to see Jung Jaehyun, moonlight illuminating his profile, a silver halo around his head and starlight in his hair. Your breath catches.

Jaehyun continues, “Surprised they left it unlocked tonight.”

After your embarrassing scramble, you tuck your legs against your chest, crossing your arms over your knees. “Really?” Jaehyun nods, and you look out across campus, seeing a lone night jogger crossing the street and two friends stumbling across the commons. “Safety reasons?”

Jaehyun laughs, shrugging. “More or less. Ghosts, too.”

Your legs tense, and your nails dig into the tiles. Jaehyun gives another chuckle, and you turn to glare at him. Relaxed, he’s stretched back, arms out behind him, a smile on his lips. He looks over to you, a slight tilt of the head. When you speak, your voice shakes. “What do you mean?”

“What else can I mean?” Jaehyun lifts his chin, eyes on the stars. “Apparently it happened back in the ‘70s. I don’t know. A senior hasn’t told you this already?”

You shake your head.

Jaehyun sighs. “Let me think. I’ve heard the full thing, just been awhile.”

You nod, and a minute passes of you staring at Jaehyun with wide eyes, heart pounding in your chest, him humming quietly to himself as he tries to remember the full story.

After another few seconds, he sits up, angling himself so he can look at you properly. You readjust, too, getting as comfortable as you can, knowing the story you’re about to hear won’t be a happy one. Jaehyun smiles before he begins, like that’ll help—it only makes you feel sick, an explosion in your chest. When he tells the story, he leaves in all the gory details, and after an explicit description on the student’s mangled fingers, you’re starting to wonder if he’s adding to the lore himself. Despite this, you find yourself enthralled. The night passes quickly after that, and when you realize the time, you’re rushing to head back inside the dorm, class in less than an hour.

You don’t expect to see Jaehyun much after that, him a year above you and the night on the roof a chance encounter, with you stressed about upcoming midterms and Jaehyun apparently one to frequent the roof. But you do see him. Often.

You see him on your way to class, you see him in the cafeteria, in the library, in the computer lab—you even see him in one of your block courses, though you’ve never noticed him before (and that was the hardest part to believe, especially now, with the way your eyes are drawn to him like clockwork).

And every time you look, he looks too, greeting you with a bright smile on his face, dimples ever so charming. It almost makes you dislike him. The reality, however, is that he quickly becomes the only thing on your mind, midterms a mere worry shoved to the back, completely covered by thoughts of his smile, his eyes, his dimples, and the way a simple hello from him feels like velvet against your ears.

It gets to the point of an intervention. On your way out of a Jaehyun-less class, the professor calls your name. You about-face, brows raised in a silent question, and your professor smiles, polite.

“Are you alright?” she asks, reaching out to place a gentle hand on your forearm.

You fight the urge to shrug it off.

“You seem distracted,” she continues.

You realize then that Jung Jaehyun is becoming a problem—a very big, very beautiful one.

When Tuesday rolls around, you stride into your block course—a power-walk if your classmates have ever seen one—barely giving your professor a nod before your eyes lock on Jaehyun. Like every other time, he’s already looking at you, and, like every other time, that dumb smile lights up his face. You come to a stop right in front of his desk.

“Hi,” he greets. His smile stretches the tiniest bit wider, making his dimples pop and his eyes disappear into crescents. The worst part is the new set of dimples that appear, like whiskers around his nose. They’re precious, and he looks precious, and despite your best efforts, your heart stutters in your chest. Great.

You glare for another second before pivoting and dropping your things on the desk next to his. Begrudgingly, you take a seat. “Hi,” you finally reply. Then, Dr. Han rises from his chair, turning on the projector and starting the class. The lesson is an important one—in fact, it will be on the final; Dr. Han takes great care in saying this, pausing every couple of equations to repeat it. Jaehyun never looks away from your face.

When class ends, you gather your things, the fight having left you, your drive to rid yourself of your Jaehyun-shaped problem gone without a trace, but Jaehyun stops you with a hand on your wrist. You look down, and he immediately lets go, an apology falling from his lips.

“Sorry,” he says again, “I was just wondering,” and a smile, smaller this time, makes a brief appearance on his face, “if you’d maybe want to get coffee or something. Tomorrow. With me?”

You have classes most of tomorrow. You really don’t have time. You need to water your dog and walk your plants. You should tell him this.

“Sounds good,” you say instead.

Jaehyun’s eyes widen like he expected you to say no—and you blanch at the memory of your attitude at the start of class; if he had asked then, you would have said no—before he smiles, dimples flashing. “Great. Is two okay?”

You have a class at two.

“Yeah, that’s fine.”

Jaehyun’s smile only grows, and you find yourself smiling back, even as unease settles low in your stomach. “That’s really great.” When Jaehyun’s tongue swipes just barely at his lower lip, your eyes take in the movement like a man starved. “Meet outside the dorm?”

You nod, and your smile stays for another second, before you turn to go, ducking your head at Jaehyun’s delayed great, and you’re about to leave, finally, when Jaehyun makes a small noise.

“Wait.”

You freeze, then turn back around. In an outstretched hand, Jaehyun holds your pencil case.

“It fell out of your bag,” he says, lips curled at the corners. “Probably not good to lose.”

“No,” you reply, “it’s not.” When you take it, your fingers brush his. The air conditioning has started; goosebumps spread on your skin. You look at him from under your lashes. He’s already looking at you. You snatch your hand back, deciding to just hold onto the case rather than putting it up. A stuttered thanks falls from your lips before you finally spin precariously on your heel and hurry to your next class.

Tomorrow comes before you’re ready, and you find yourself rushing across the commons with your backpack hitting you uncomfortably in your lower back, a steady thump, thump, thump that will ache for the days. You keep moving.

Until you see Jaehyun. Your heels dig into the soft earth and your backpack makes one final jab into you. The pain doesn’t register. Jaehyun’s head is tossed back, laughter bubbling from his lips, while his arm wraps tighter around a stranger’s shoulders. He doesn’t see you. His laugh follows you on the way to class, where you scroll through your phone before realizing you never got his number. You pocket your phone and think about your 2pm. He doesn’t have your number either. You’ve never skipped a class before. It’d be dumb to start now.

Thursday, you return to your usual seat. It doesn’t take long before you feel Jaehyun’s gaze weighing on you. You don’t look back, even when minutes pass and he hasn’t turned away. Class ends, and he still hasn’t let up, so you make a quick escape, slipping through the door before he can reach you. By the time you collapse into your seat two buildings over, your chest is tight, exertion and want putting a strain on you—want, especially.

It’s your own fault—you could have gone to the cafe, you could have talked to him—but you arrange your pencil and pens and highlighters on your desk and you keep your head down and you ignore the ache that’s replaced the heartburn. Most of all, you ignore any and all thoughts of Jaehyun, just like you did to the man himself.

The end of the semester has given up on creeping towards you, opting instead for a full-blown sprint, yet the only thing that has changed are the trees, leaves scattered on the ground for you to kick at and crush. Jaehyun’s heavy gaze is a constant companion, following you wherever you go. Sometimes you slip up and search him out too, as if by instinct, but whenever you happen to catch his eyes, you’re quick to look elsewhere.

Despite these looks, despite the crushing pressure of Jaehyun’s stare, the two of you leave words unsaid. After a week of failed attempts to talk to you following the abandoned coffee date, Jaehyun hasn’t tried to stop you from leaving since. You can’t say you prefer it that way, but it’s better than swallowing your pride and the jumbled ball of feelings that Jaehyun has created in you and facing him, but this acceptance only lasts for so long. Soon, you’re overwhelmed, finals no longer looming over you because they have instead taken you into their claws and are about to swallow you whole. You escape to the roof.

Someone else has escaped there, too.

“Jaehyun,” you breathe. In your stress, you had forgotten his habit, and now Jaehyun is staring you right in the eyes, and you can’t look away. He cuts a lonely figure against the night sky, hair once again threaded with stars. Your fingers twitch at your sides.

“Y/N,” he says. “Hi.”

You make your slow way over to him, unsure how close to sit. You clutch at the tiles. “Hi,” you reply. “It’s been awhile.”

Jaehyun hums, turning back to the sky. You bite your tongue. Your teeth clamp down too tight, but you don’t let up. Jaehyun glances over at you, and you let go. “Exams,” you say.

He tilts his head.

“Good luck.” You look away, out at the sky then down towards the commons. Someone is out there alone, their laptop giving their face a bluish glow. You swallow. “I’m nervous.”

Besides you, Jaehyun huffs out a laugh. You look over. “Me too,” he says.

There’s a second, then, where you see beyond this moment and beyond yourself, and, for that one second, the mess inside you sorts itself into something coherent, but it’s gone in a flash, and all you can do then is bump your shoulder against his. “You’re smart,” you say. “You’ll do fine.”

“Keeping tabs on me?” he asks. A smile curls on his lips and he makes it look so easy.

You duck your head. “Not that hard to find out you’re seen as the smartest student on campus. Not hard to realize it’s true.”

Jaehyun hums, looking down, and, if it weren’t so dark, you’d have noticed the redness of his ears, but you don’t. “Ah,” he gives a soft laugh, “I wouldn’t say that.”

“Don’t act shy,” you nudge him again. “It’s not a good look on you.”

The conversation continues, and it actually is easy. You unravel next to Jaehyun, slipping further down the roof, reclining back more and more, tension leaving your body with every word. Jaehyun’s a warm presence at your side, and you swathe yourself in the velvet of his voice. The bitter cold that snaps at your nose is nothing. You close your eyes and smile. It isn’t until the dark gets a bit darker that your eyes snap open and you realize the sun has started to creep over the horizon. Blocking your view, Jaehyun’s arm hovers awkwardly in the air. It falls back to the roof. You look over at him.

“About what I said earlier,” he starts, and you can feel the calm drain from your body.

“What,” you ask, “did you say earlier?” You push yourself up, scooting back up the roof until you can properly meet his eyes.

“I’m not the smartest student on campus,” Jaehyun says. “There’s just something—some things, really—that I can’t figure out.” He looks away first, and the crisp light of morning seems to take the color from his body. You shiver and wrap your arms around yourself.

“It might be an exaggeration,” you blink, gaze dropping to your lap, “but it’s not like you’re not smart.” You glance over to see Jaehyun shaking his head, looking out at the horizon. You swallow, squeezing your eyes shut. “Okay,” you try again, tilting your head, “what’s the thing that you can’t figure out?”

Jaehyun smiles, but you don’t feel better at all. “You didn’t show up for coffee,” he says. “I waited an hour for you, by the way. But you never showed.”

There’s a lot of things you could say. You work your lip between your teeth before you answer, “My 2pm is an hour and fifteen minutes.”

It’s grim, the face Jaehyun makes, lips pressed into a straight line and eyes narrowed. He nods, propping an arm up on his knees. “Fair enough.” He takes a breath. “Can I ask why?”

You don’t reply. Jaehyun turns to you. Still, you are quiet. Another heartbeat passes. Jaehyun waits, studying you. Even with the light of the sun, his eyes are unreadable. You huff. You want to snark about attendance being mandatory and how your grades aren’t good enough in that class for you to be risking it, but Jaehyun is stubborn and can play the game. You know that. You give another rough exhale before speaking. “I saw you that morning.”

Jaehyun continues to wait.

“Don’t laugh,” you say, but you don’t give him time to promise he won’t. “I saw you with someone.”

Jaehyun’s brows disappear into his hairline. His lips twitch. “With someone,” he echoes. You bite your lip. His eyes flit to the library. You hold your breath. “Okay.”

Your stomach churns. “You’re making fun of me,” you say. You can see the glint in his eyes now, and it makes you sick, in a way you haven’t felt in awhile. It’s pure bubbles, threatening to burst from your throat in the form of sweet words and whispered confessions. You swallow it down.

“No,” Jaehyun replies, but the word is colored with a laugh. Still, Jaehyun continues: “I’m not. I just… think it’s funny.” He turns to you, then, one foot out to stop him from slipping. His gaze presses into yours. “There isn’t anyone,” he swears. “There hasn’t been. You just… should have said something, alright?” He shakes his head. “After, I mean. I can take being stood up once or twice, but being totally ignored? Ouch.”

A lump has grown in your throat. Saying you don’t have his number will mean nothing. You look away, head dropping.

“I could’ve waited,” Jaehyun continues, “or we could’ve picked a different day. And don’t skip class for me.” When your mouth opens to argue, Jaehyun’s lips stretch, leaving his dimples to indent his face. “You would’ve.”

You look away.

“So give me a time,” Jaehyun finally proposes. “One that works for you. When you don’t have class—or a final, now.”

“I didn’t want to stand you up,” you admit. Jaehyun’s lips twist. You chew your own before deciding. “My first final is tomorrow. When it’s over, I won’t want to think about it at all. It ends at one.”

When you look over, Jaehyun’s smiling, a proper one, illuminating his face quicker than the sun ever could. You smile back. Jaehyun turns away. “Alright.”

You hesitate, but it’s more out of courtesy over anything. When you poke Jaehyun’s shoulder, he looks back at you. You stumble towards him. In the fall, your lips meet his. It’s not the best first kiss, your mouth having gone stale and his teeth clacking against yours, but—your heart squeezes in your chest—it’s not like this kiss will also be the last. You pull away. “I wouldn’t skip a final for you,” you say, “just… by the way. Maybe class—which I didn’t—but not a final.”

Jaehyun’s laugh is vibrant. His hand is warm against your back, where it had slipped just slightly beneath your sweater. “Of course,” he says. “Of course.”

The smile that’s threatened to blossom on your face finally blooms, and you duck your head, tucking it against Jaehyun’s shoulder. You plan to sit back up, maybe even get in another kiss, but Jaehyun’s fingers have started to thread through your hair, and your body finally feels the strain of twenty-four hours awake. You yawn. Jaehyun’s chuckle vibrates through you. It’s a comforting rumble. You fall further into him, and he lets you—sleep comes easy.

DISCLAIMER:

This is a work of fiction. The characters herein are based on real people, but the events portrayed in this story are fictional and do not reflect on the actual people written about. They are not intended to be mistaken for fact, and no libel is intended.

If you enjoyed this story, please consider giving it a reblog!

[theficblog]

FREESIAS AND FROCKS

LEE HAECHAN

Prologue: You can let go of things, but not a childhood love too pure. It will find it’s way back to you somehow. 

Genre: Angst + Yandere + Childhood lovers AU

Wordcount: 987

Prompts: “I gave you my heart, you weren't supposed to give it back.”

Warnings: Yandere

The pleasant, sweet, and sharp scent of the green grass mixed with the flowery smells of the yellow and purple freesias. The spring breeze swept past your body, making the unruly toddler hair a mess. At that time, this world was too big for you. You were just a little girl. 

"These are for you." The little boy handed you a bunch of those flowers, his eyes fixed on the ground. The yellow ones that matched your yellow frock.

-

It was the same boy years later, asking you out to that popular song from your tweens, that's what everyone at middle school was doing. Things felt like forever. 

"I can't wait for the day we'll both be grownups." You said to the boy, walking hand in hand, in another spring sunset some years later, sipping on the soda pops.

-

The high school furniture held the carvings of your initials, inside a heart, leaving traces of your love, marking it forever.

That one photo for the yearbook, that recorded two kids in matching red and white striped shirts that read "Highschool Sweethearts". Everyone knew what it was. 

Even though each one of you would fly like a freed pigeon after this, one thing was going to keep floating in the air forever, yours and Haechan's love. 

-

Nothing lasts forever, even if we think so. 

Humans, they never keep their promises. 

They can't be trusted.

You can't be trusted. 

-

"But everything you do makes my heart race. I can't even think straight"

The store blasted out hip music. The place was too lively, well, it had to be if this was where the college freshers hung out. It smelled of coffee, it smelled of freshly printed papers, and it smelled of that cafeteria sandwich. 

Getting here was hard for you, but all those sleepless nights, those breakdowns, and those burnouts were totally worth it all.

"Wish you'd let me stay, I'm ready now" These lyrics floated in the background.

"Heart on your sleeve like you've never been loved. Running in circles, now look what you've done." 

Your friend Renjun hummed as he rummaged through the CDs section in the back aisle of the store, trying to find just the one he wanted. You met him only at the start of this year, but this friendship bloomed quickly. "Do you think we'll be able to make it in time for the biology lecture? Not at this speed." You nagged at him.

"Y/N?" It was the voice that made you freeze on the spot. It was his voice. 

"Hae-hae-chan?" You turned around, only to see the boy with those brown gleaming eyes and those pouty lips. Oh! How badly you've missed them.

"You forgot I existed?" His words were sharp, like a dagger.

"You got so busy with your life you forgot me?" He questioned you again, not giving you any time to defend yourself.

"Listen, Haechan.." You stammered, trying to find words that could describe your condition, but they just seemed to not exist in any language at that moment.

He stepped closer, grabbing your wrist with his hand, the same hands that once intertwined their fingers with yours. 

Your friend got up and stepped into the scene, CDs were not his only priority. "Excuse me? What do you think you are doing?" He pointed out your wrist, which was now visibly red due to Haechan's tight grip. It was hurting and tears were forming in your eyes, however not due to the physical pain. 

"Renjun, I'll see you at the lecture." You announced, asking for his leave. 

"But-"

"Please, I'll see you there." He nodded with concerned eyes before he eventually left. 

"Did that hurt you? Are you okay Y/N?" Haechan gasped, gently stroking his fingers on your damaged wrist. His eyes were no longer full of that resentment, he was back to looking like that little boy again.

"Hold my hand as tight as you need to." You stated with a bland voice, lacking all emotions.

"Every time I try to fix something, I just make it worse." He commented with a little giggle, not out of any happiness though.

These were emotions that did not know how to express themselves.

"This is what your selfishness did." You helped him with an answer. 

"Was I selfish? Was it me?" Haechan questioned, lifting your chin up, making your eyes meet his. "You just left me behind, did my love not mean anything to you at all?" His eyes were shimmering with the liquid, tears. 

"Your love could not pay off my bills Haechan!" You screamed. You knew how hard it was for you. You knew how hard it was when the other kids flaunted and flexed, things had always been easy for them, but never for you. Never once. You did not want to leave him, but you were desperate, for both him and stable financial life. You had to choose, you had to. 

"I gave you my heart. You weren’t supposed to give it back." You let him know. Tears were streaming down your cheeks. The only thing in view was him, everything else seemed to be fading away. 

You pulled your hand away, ready to take your leave.

"Please don't leave me here." He pleaded, his voice breaking. You knew if there was one thing he would never give up on, it was you. His heart only belonged to you, and yours to him. It had always been him, it had to be him. 

You turned back again. Looking at that boy, with his eyes fixed on the ground. There were no yellow freesias and frocks today. He lifted his gaze, slowly.

Everything was slow. The windchimes, the flipping pages, the chit-chats, everything was in slow-mo, just like a movie.

You ran back to him, smiling through those tears. He held his arms open, just like his heart. This was where you belonged. 

SONG IN THE FIC: Friends - Chase Atlantic

TAGS:  @nightfalls-teddy

LET ME KNOW YOUR VIEWS + ALSO SEE : MASTERLIST

PLEASE REFRAIN FROM PLAGIARIZING ,TRANSLATING, OR POSTING OUTSIDE THIS PLATFORM.  

[svtcarat-exo-l]

Wayfinder - Part 1

Part of The Syndicate AU Series 

Mafia!Yuta x Street Racer!Y/N

A/N: It's here! That's right - the first story will be Yuta's! Another member’s story will intertwine with this one. Guess who? I'm really excited to share this with you all, so enjoy! - Love, M.

SERIES MASTERLIST

Good and Evil.

Right and Wrong.

Peace and Chaos.

All pairings that are seemingly opposites - things that do not mix. At least in a perfect world they wouldn’t, but this world is not perfect. This world is full of grey and ambivalence and neutrality. Yet, life wouldn’t be nearly as interesting without that middle ground where those concepts that shouldn’t mix-

Do.

----- 

You reveled in being able to lead two starkly different lives that never coincided.

One spent running a quaint bakery with soft yellow walls on a quiet street corner surrounded by the aroma of coffee with nothing but the occasional burn or knife slip to worry about.

Another standing on cold midnight streets washed crimson in the glow of neon lights. Where the asphalt practically vibrated with raucous laughter and booming music, and the scent of gasoline soaked adrenaline was strong enough to make first-timers dizzy.  Where the addictive tinge of looming danger lingered heavy in the air.

Half of your life belonged to the night. The track.

Street racing.

Your boots pounded down the barren alleyway that led to tonight’s starting line hidden deep in the gritty, labyrinthine underbelly of the city. An October wind whistled around you - serving as a reminder of just how cold it was getting. 

You settled further into your jacket to fight the chill.

Not too long ago you had found these streets menacing. As if they were sentient - the breeze whispering it's intent to harm you, but now their specific white noise was oddly comforting.

Urgency quickened your steps. You'd never hear the end of it if you were the last one to the rendezvous location.

Renjun had called everyone together to discuss something before tonight's race got under way. He had been acting strange lately. Well, strange for the head of an illegal street racing organization. You hadn't been able to figure out why he set up a pretty straightforward race when he had been really ramping up the heat over the past few weeks, but you assumed this meeting would fill you in.

After a few more strides - a familiar shadow joined yours on the wet pavement.

“I’ve never seen you this late before, Y/n.” A voice teased.

You recognized it instantly and glanced over at Mina as she fell into step beside you. The energy that came from the track already buzzed off of her. It made itself known in the eager bounce of her gait and the wicked smile painted across her red lips.

"You aren’t on time either.” You scolded her playfully - gently shoving your shoulder into hers.

Mina was a driver. A relative newbie who had made a name for herself through sheer skill and attitude. More importantly, she was your closest friend. She taught you how to remake your image as a shield. Together, you had carefully crafted your look until it was almost certain no one from your mundane life would recognize you.

She threw an arm around you, laughing and urging you to walk faster. “We should hurry before Renjun sends out the cavalry to find us.”

And you knew he would if you were even a minute late. To call Renjun overprotective was a severe understatement, but it was only because he worried. Jisung and Jeno probably spent more of their time watching both of you than they did watching the boss himself.

Speaking of, Renjun stood waiting underneath a streetlight - his freshly bleached hair shining like a beacon. Jeno and Jisung weren't in your line of sight, but they were definitely nearby for security’s sake.

Renjun straightened as you and Mina approached, and you noted the light blue that frosted the ends of his new hairstyle as fuel for teasing later on.

You belonged to a very short list of people who could get away with it. After all, Renjun had hand picked both you and Mina.

She was one of his drivers, and you were her navigator.

It was your job to provide support via radio during a race. If the police busted the track, you got her out of it. If she got pushed off the course, you got her back on. If she needed a detour you found it. A completely rubbish driver could win races if they had a good enough navigator.

And you had become the best.

Good enough that you’d been recruited for Renjun’s personal line up after winning back to back races as a team. You joined the other driver he selected, a magnetic personality named Jaemin with the electric blue hair to match, in manipulating the race results.

When said blue-haired driver also stepped out of the shadows you realized this meeting was more serious than you’d thought - considering every person Renjun sponsored was present.

The sight of Jaemin had you subconsciously checking that your mask, your extra insurance, was still in place over the lower half of your face - because unlike everyone else you hid your identity. In fact, staying anonymous had been your one condition in working for Renjun.

He and Mina were still the only people who had seen your face.

You had to watch the way the reputation weighed on Renjun and Mina. Jaemin, too. They had to look over their shoulders every time they stepped outside - always anticipating an attack from a vengeful rival or someone who lost money over a bet, and you had no desire to have to live that way.

Admittedly, maybe you weren't as brave as your friends, but just knowing that no one could hunt you down outside of the track made it even easier for you to settle into your life as the 'genius navigator'. 

The thrills kept you coming back for more. It was the ultimate adrenaline rush with no consequences.   

And you had loved it. 

The feeling of power. The prestige. The whispers that followed your every move. The feeling that you’d finally found an extraordinary skill. It all fed into a darker part of yourself that let you put on a dangerous show every night. 

The four of you settled into a loose circle, your breath visibly mingling in one cloud in the crisp air. 

“I know it’s risky for us to all be seen together, but this conversation had to be done in person. I'll make it quick.” Renjun scanned the area cautiously as he spoke. 

You also had to try and shake the irrational fear of being watched. 

Everyone present had reason to be wary. If the crowd ever learned the ring-leader had nearly complete control over who won the races and subsequently their bets - the results wouldn't be pretty. 

“What’s going on, Jun?” You asked - trying to ignore the way his features still softened when he looked at you to answer. 

“We have some guests tonight.” 

For the first time in a while the boss looked nervous. His fingers tapped against his thighs almost unconsciously and his brow furrowed even more that usual. If these guests were making him antsy - you certainly weren't excited to meet them. 

“Tell me it’s not another driver from Brazil." Mina tried to joke, but even from her it felt forced. Unperturbed, she turned to Jaemin with a mischievous smile to poke fun at him. "You barely won that race.”   

Jaemin feigned hurt with exaggerated offense, but Renjun didn't give in to her attempt to lighten the mood. Honestly, it seemed to only tense him up more. 

“It’s not a racer." He responded stiffly "Or a navigator. They have nothing to do with racing-” 

“Then who?" Jaemin chipped in mildly for the first time. "Stop talking around it.”

The wheels turned in Renjun's head for a moment like he was trying to formulate the best way to say what he needed to. You saw the moment he gave up on subtlety - his features saying to hell with it. He spat out three simple words 

“It’s the Neos.” 

You could’ve sworn the temperature dropped a few more degrees at the mention of that name. While Renjun gauged your reactions - the streets themselves seemed to hold their breath with him. The heartbeat echoing in your ears was definitely your own, but it was far too fast for your liking. Shared panic pinged between the three of you and unfroze the moment.

“You invited the Mafia?” Mina hissed - giving voice to what you were all thinking.

“They kind of invited themselves." Renjun snapped, but after a breath his tone evened out. "We’re moving enough money now that their leader got word, and they want in. I can’t exactly say no, especially because we do operate on their territory.”

To the rational side of your mind it made sense. They controlled this area, so of course they'd want to keep tabs on what happens within it - get a feel for who's in charge and establish authority.

Still, Renjun's voice betrayed some bitterness. He was probably not too happy about being strong-armed.

“Are they threatening you?” You couldn't help the bubble of worry for him that burst in your chest.

“They explained their terms, and there’s a lot in it for us." He defended. "That crowd? They’re all high rollers looking for a dangerous habit, so betting is about to get a lot more lucrative, and getting their seal of approval will make us untouchable.”

He raised his eyebrows looking for everyone's assent. 

It was Jaemin who broke first. “Alright, so what do you need us to do?”

Renjun's "leader" face snapped back into place so seamlessly it threw you for a second. You couldn't believe Jaemin could move past this so quickly, but it seemed Mina wasn't having trouble either when a familiar rhythm fell over the conversation.

“I want you all to show off tonight. Mina will place first, Jaemin in second. Everyone else is already on board, so use any skill or trick you need to show them what we're made of.”

Mina and Jaemin voiced their agreement and moved to leave. Renjun, sensing your hesitance, motioned for you to stay. 

In the brief silence you heard Haechan's voice carry faintly through the air. He was undoubtedly in the thick of the action holding down the fort as Renjun’s second while the man himself took care of more secret business.

You waited until the others were out of earshot before starting in.

“What are you thinking?” You demanded - worry hardening into displeasure.

“I don't have a choice, Y/N. Believe me, they didn't ask." He huffed in frustration. "Regardless of how they approached me this is a mutually beneficial deal, and- I mean, what we do isn’t exactly legal either. Who are we to judge?”

He raked his fingers through his hair and you recognized the nervous tick - catching his wrist and untangling his digits before he started pulling on the strands in his grip. With a sigh you settled his arms back at his side.

“But we aren't involved in half the trouble they are. This is deeper than I want to be, Jun. I'm not sure I want a part in underworld politics." You understood why he'd accepted their offer, but you also knew if you stepped in this far - this world might never let you go. That train of thought abruptly took you somewhere else. "They're going to want to know who I am.”

If there was anyone who could unravel your identity with ease, no matter how plain it actually was, it was them. Fear started to freeze you up until he grabbed your hands, and the touch thawed it a bit.

Deja vu hit you like a truck. Guilt followed. This was a road you didn’t want to go down again.

“Hey, trust me they will never know who you are. I'm not going to let them take that from you. I’ll protect you.” His eyes were earnest, but they only made your heart clench.

“Renjun we can't-“

You tried to pull away - both from his hands and from the moment that was getting a bit too close to the past, but he interrupted you gently.

“It’s not like that. You, Mina, Jaemin – you’re a big part of what I've built here, and I take care of my own." He made his plea. "I did my homework on these guys. My contacts say their business runs almost completely legit, and a lot of what they do actually helps the city. Some of the stories are borderline heroic."

After hesitating for a moment, weighing his reasons in your mind, you relented.

You'd also heard the rumors swirling around the Neos, the same whisperings that led Renjun to accept this alliance, and you couldn't help being terribly curious. The men in the stories told by the vulnerable and defenseless populations of the city were people you could respect. Maybe, even befriend.

More than anything, you trusted Renjun. You knew he would rather tear down everything he'd ever created than get into business with monsters.

"So we're dealing with a group of wannabe Robin Hoods?" You quipped - giving him a cheeky half smile.

Renjun knew if you were telling jokes you were giving in, and you watched as just a little bit of the tension in his shoulders released.

"They do have this thing where they don’t hurt innocents."

You knew he offered the information to calm you, but it only brought you up short.

“I wonder though." You couldn't stop yourself from posing the question. "To them, are we innocent?”

Renjun's eyes held no answers.

"I don't know, Y/N." He slung an arm over your shoulder and you let him steer you towards the track. You barely caught the words he repeated to himself. "I don't know."

[adorablele]

RUMOR HAS IT ♡ N.YT

anon requested: Could u maybe do a yuta one? Hmm, maybe like a classroom crush type of deal? I’m sorry if its too confusing lol

⇢ pairing: nakamoto yuta x reader ⇢ genre: fluff, highschool!au, classroom!au, classmates!au ⇢ word count: 1700 ⇢ summary: you thought it was another successful day of avoiding Yuta, but he manages to break the streak by trapping you in a classroom.  ⇢ a/n: no bby, it wasn’t confusing at all. this turned out longer than I intended, but I hope this is to your liking <3

Just one more minute. 

You eyed the clock as the second hand ticked past 30 seconds. You could feel the heat of his gaze on the back of your head, but you did your best to relax your shoulders and resist the urge to turn around. Your leg started to bounce as the hand ticked closer and closer and closer until-

RIIIINGG!!

“Alright, I want the reports by Monday. Have a good weekend!” your teacher announced, though she barely uttered the last word before you bolted out of the classroom. 

Sighing in relief you sank in one of the seats in the classroom designated for student body meetings. After catching your breath, you prepared all your notes as the rest of the students started filing in. 

-

“It’s alright, I got it,” you reassured your vice president.

“Are you sure you don’t need help? We’ve done cleaning duty together for the past few weeks,” Taeyong frowned, knowing that you despised having to clean.

Patting him on the shoulder, you smiled, “it’s fine, Tae, I got this.”

“I’m just saying,” he picked up his bag, “it’ll be faster with two people.”

You waved him off, “Go home!”

He gave you a small salute and walked out the open door. 

Usually, you’d accept his help considering his words were true about it going by faster, but today, you wanted to be alone. You sighed as you plugged your earbuds into your ears and started to prep all the cleaning supplies that you needed. Humming, you started to lightly groove to the music as you wiped down the desks. 

It was another successful day of avoiding him. Your heart starts to feel heavy as you recall the countless times that you’ve walked in the other direction whenever you saw him in the hall, or when you actively engaged in a conversation with another classmate to avoid talking to him, or how you’ve been managing to get someone to cover your tutoring sessions with Yuta.

You straighten your back and start to vigorously rub at the desk in front of you. This was for the best. You just needed some time and space away from him in order for you to move on. So what if it’s been two weeks―about to be three―and you’re still yearning to be in the comfort of his arms, or that you miss the way he would poke at you when he was bored in your tutoring sessions, or the way you constantly find your eyes trailing to him whenever he isn’t looking. 

You’ll get over it soon. You nod determinedly at the shiny desk in front of you. It’s just a little crush. 

Suddenly, the door behind you loudly shuts causing you to jump and turn around. 

Out of all the people standing there, you did not expect to see Yuta Nakamoto. Yet, there he was, standing in all his glory as the rays from the setting sun shot through the windows, creating a beautiful glow around him. You hated that it made your stomach flutter.

“You’re still here,” he says, sharp eyes staring at you.

As if it’s a magnet, you stare back. “Yeah, I’m cleaning today.”

He slowly nodded, taking a moment to gaze around the empty classroom, “You’ve been doing that a lot lately.” 

You cleared your throat and took that as an opportunity to throw away the wipe you were using and grab another one. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw him make his way over to the teacher’s desk in the front. He picked up a stack of papers and shuffled through them. 

“Well, as president, it’s my responsibility to make sure our school is in order.”

He raised a brow at your words, looked up at you, and shot you a look that clearly said he didn’t believe you. He also knew that you hated cleaning up. Mostly from all the times that you would complain to him about all the tasks you needed to do when he would “help” you clean―though his “helping” was more like accompanying since he would sit at the teacher’s desk and go on his phone. 

“Mhm,” he hummed, returning his gaze back down to the papers. 

Throwing away the wipe you were using, you picked up the bottle of Windex and a roll of paper towels. 

“I see you’re alone today,” he comments, “where’s Tae?”

You slightly pause at the nickname he used. Deciding not to comment on the slight mocking tone he had, you replied, “He went home.”

Again, Yuta hums. You hear him place down the papers. He’s walking around, but you can hear his footsteps getting closer to you.

“He’s not helping you today?” he asks, taking the bottle of Windex from the desk you placed it on.

“Nope,” you told him, trashing the used paper towel.

You turned to him expectantly, “Can I get the Windex?” 

All Yuta did was stare at you with those deep brown eyes that you loved to get lost in. You almost did, but you focused back on reality when he stepped forward.

“Why have you been avoiding me, y/n?” 

“Avoiding you? I’ve just been busy,” you shrugged, reaching for the Windex.

“Busy?” he asks, holding up the Windex out of your reach and glancing at it, “Busy…cleaning?”

You clicked your tongue, jumped up, and grabbed the bottle. 

“Yes, I’ve been cleaning,” you said indignantly.

He was silent as you finished cleaning the remaining windows. After tossing the last paper towel in the trash, you went to the teacher’s desk to put the papers back in its place since Yuta rummaged through them. 

“Y/N.”

Your name dripped from his tongue like honey causing your knees to weaken.

“Yeah?” you ask, straightening a pile of papers. 

“Look at me.” He sounded closer.

You fixed the last pile of papers and took a moment before turning around. He stood barely a foot away from you. You tried to calm your breathing as his eyes locked on yours.

“You never answered my question,” he frowned. You swallowed as he closed the distance between the two of you. “Why have you been avoiding me?”

Just as you opened your mouth to spew out more excuses, he narrowed his eyes, “and don’t try to bullshit me either.”

You closed your mouth and stared at the floor. What were you supposed to tell him? Were you supposed to confess that you were heartbroken at seeing him with some other person at the bookstore when the two of you were supposed to meet up for coffee? Were you supposed to tell the one thing you looked forward to in the morning was him leaning against your locker with messy hair that you’ve given up trying to convince him to fix? Were you supposed to say that you couldn’t face him anymore without wishing that he would look at you as someone more than just a friend? 

When you didn’t reply, he sighed, and took another step forward. You yelped when he pulled you up on the desk, heart racing as he placed a hand on either side of you. There were his eyes again, brown pools of warmth that always fooled you into thinking that there was no one else in the universe but you and him. 

He lifts one of his hands to brush against your cheek. His touch was light, warm, and comfortable. You leaned in before you could stop yourself. 

“You know,” he whispered, thumb rubbing against your cheek, “I’ve missed you.”

You look up at him, his eyes already trained on yours. 

“And I heard a rumor,” he continued, “a rumor that you liked me. That’s why I wanted to meet you two weeks ago.”

Your eyes widen and your stomach drops. He was going to tell you that he didn’t see you the same way. You try to move back, but his other hand slides to the small of your back to hold you in place. Your heart ached at the thought that he wouldn’t be able to hold you like this when he got a girlfriend. 

“Later on, Doyoung told me he saw you running out of the bookstore crying. He also told me that you liked me.”

“Yuta-” you started to say. He didn’t have to explain anything to you. It’s not like you were dating him or anything. 

He cut you off, thumb sliding over your lips. 

“I don't know who she is. She just approached me and asked me to get this comic she couldn’t reach. I was struggling to find the book that you’ve been talking about so I asked her to show me and-”

He sighed. He dropped his hands on the desk, arms on either side of you, and leaned back. 

“That’s why I was late, but we didn’t do anything. After she showed me where the book was, I immediately bought it and tried to make it as fast as I could to the cafe. I waited there and texted and called, but you never showed up. Next thing I know, you won’t even look at me.”

Guilt tugs at your heart as you start to see cracks in his brown orbs. He hangs his head low. 

“I like you, y/n, a lot,” he confesses before looking back up at you “and it’d be a damn shame if the rumor I heard wasn’t true.”

“Yuta,” you call softly. He closes his eyes as your thumb rubs against his cheek. “I’m sorry,” you tell him, “I’m sorry for being stupid and jumping to conclusions.”

“I thought that you stood me up because you were on a date with someone else. I was heartbroken, devastated which was why I avoided you. I couldn’t look at you and be okay with someone else in your arms.”

He opens his eyes and you smile, “That’s because I like you too.” 

His entire being lights up before he narrows his eyes and points an accusatory finger at you, “No bullshit?”

You giggle, pushing away his finger, “No bullshit.”

His face breaks out in a grin and he leans his forehead against yours, “Can I kiss you?”

“What are you waiting for?”

[luckysevenwrites]

Go out on a date with me

Haechan is back at the doctors. This time though is to have his cast removed and maybe to ask Y/n out on a date. If they are there. 

Part of the long term couples series

Six weeks since he’s been able to walk around on his own, six weeks since he’s seen you, six weeks since he has heard your voice. Over this time Haechan often thought about you and would catch himself trying to look at what you wrote on his cast. He would find himself smiling as he thought about how you didn’t put up with any of his shit and handed it right back to him. It didn’t matter to you that he was an idol or that he was part of a group that you listened to. You treated him just like anyone else and he found it refreshing. 

Bouncing his leg up and down he is hoping that you’ll be in the exam room today with him. He wasn’t sure what your job was exactly and he feared that your job did not require you to be in the room for when patients returned to have their cast removed. One of Haechan’s managers glances down at his bouncing leg and he notices that they are fighting back a smile. Rolling his eyes Haechan crosses his arms over his chest and slumps down in his chair with a loud huff. Everyone thought it was funny how smitten he’s become with you after just one meeting. He didn’t think it was the tiniest bit funny. 

Finally Haechan is called back into an exam room and he hobbles his way to the room. This cast cannot get removed fast enough he thinks as he makes his way into the exam room. Looking around his mouth pulls down at the ends, disappointment evident on his face. Sitting in one of the chairs, Haechan ignores the conversation that his manager and the nurse are having. He doesn’t tune back into the conversation until he hears the nurse saying that Dr. Kim and you would be in a little bit to remove the cast and look his leg over. 

Perking up at hearing that you are in fact here and will be examining him, Haechan can’t stop the smile that spreads across his face. His manager just rolls his eyes at him and doesn’t even bother trying to stop themselves from smiling. They just grab the chair next to him and wait for the doctor to arrive. In what feels like hours but it is probably only a few minutes, the door opens and in walks Dr. Kim followed closely by you. Haechan forgot just how cute you were and his heart rate picks up at seeing you. You’re looking over his chart and when you do look up your eyes lock. You give him a small smile and Haechan almost swears that he sees a small blush coming across your cheeks. But Dr.Kim steps in front of you blocking his view.

“Ready to get your cast removed?” Dr. Kim smiles down at Haechan.

“More than ready. I have been going crazy with this thing on,” Haechan admits. 

“How have you been feeling? Any pain?” Haechan shakes his head no as Dr. Kim and you wash your hands, put gloves on, and ready the tools to remove his cast. 

“Okay Haechan why don’t you lay back for us and if it’s alright with you I'm going to let my intern Ms. Y/L/N remove your cast.”

Looking over at you Haechan sees you holding a small saw in your hand you smile at him and Haechan doesn’t hesitate to return the smile.

“As long as she promises not to cut anything important I’m fine with it,” Haechan lays back down. You let out a breathy laugh and tell him not to worry before he hears the sound of the saw and you go to work at removing the cast. 

In no time at all his cast is removed and Haechan is looking down at his leg. It looks a little less muscular but otherwise it looks like it’s fine. Dr.Kim is talking about how they are going to get some x-rays to make sure that it’s healed correctly and then they’ll bring him back here to talk about therapy and any restrictions that he might have. You roll a wheelchair in front and Haechan frowns down at the chair.

“Seriously I can’t walk to my x-ray?” Haechan whines.

“Nope, you know the rules. Once we know that you’re fully healed you can cartwheel out of here for all I care but until then you’re in the chair.” You smirk. Haechan glares at you but gets in the chair. 

The two of you don’t speak as Haechan is pushed to his x-ray. He didn’t think that he’d be seeing you and didn’t think much past just being able to see you. But this is probably going to be one of the fews times that he is going to be alone with you and if he wants to make a move it is going to have to be made now. Parking the wheel chair next to the exam table Haechan watches as you lock the wheelchair in place and move to stand in front of you. Looking up at you Haechan takes a deep breath before he opens his mouth.

“I was hoping that I would get to see you today,” Haechan started off. You raise an eyebrow in question before reaching out to help Haechan stand and onto the exam table, “there is something that I wanted to ask you.”

“Still not going to tell you who my bias is.” Haechan chuckles at that.

“As much as I want to know the answer to that, I have a more important question to ask you.” You pause what you are doing and wait for Haechan to continue on. “I wanted to know if you would go out on a date with me sometime.” 

Haechan rushes out. He watches as your eyes widen. You stare at him for a few beats before you recover and go back to preparing him for his x-ray. Haechan starts to panic as you go about your work and not answer him. Maybe he was reading what the two of you had the last time you saw each other wrong. He had thought there was a connection but maybe it was all just on his end and you were only being nice to him because he was injured. 

“It’s cute watching you panic,” you tell him before taking a step back from the table, “and yes I loved to go out on a date with you.” 

“Really?” Haechan questions, almost unable to remain calm. 

“Really but first let's get you out of that cast and then you can tell me more about this date.”

“Deal,” Haechan smiles at you and before you have a chance to walk away he reaches out for your wrist and grabs it. “And eventually you are going to tell me who your bias is. Believe it or not I can be a patient man.”

Smiling as you pull your wrist out of his hold, “You’ll have to be.” you tell him before walking out of the room and leaving Haechan smiling like a fool on the exam table.

[sleeping-sirens]

nct masterlist

🧚⭐️🌷🍀☁️

f : fluff | s : smut | a : angst | v : suggestive.

nct 127

✧˖°taeyong

lightbulb | one-shot (a)

✧˖°mark

가르쳐 줘 (teach me) | one-shot (f, v)

✧˖°haechan

moles | drabble (f, v)

morning with haechan | one-shot (f, v)

everything that you’re made of | one-shot (f, s)

nct dream

✧˖°jeno

lips | one-shot (a, f, v)

✧˖°jisung

silent | one-shot (a, f)

wayv

✧˖°ten

beautiful mess | one-shot (v)

✧˖°lucas

eye roll | one-shot (s)

[skyrohyucks]

[3:32]

The sky looked dark and endless, like a void pulling you in and surrounding you the more you looked at it. The moon shined brightly against the dark, working as an excellent light source in the lightless and desolate pathway you and Haechan were roaming in.

Music was faintly playing through one of the airpods in your right ear, calming you down as the slow and serene tunes sent warm chills spreading all across you. Your feet mindlessly carried on walking, following whatever path or turn Haechan takes.

The main purpose of these walks he and you set out on at ungodly hours was to try and ignore all the burdens eating you up, weighing you down and pushing you deeper and deeper into emotional turmoil as days pass by. But even with the pleasant surroundings and the soothing music playing, it didn't take a long time for the thoughts to slowly creep up your mind again, corrupting the tranquil atmosphere you wired yourself to be in.

Your face visibly changed and grew more tired than it already was. It didn't take Haechan a long time to notice. He took out his phone from his pocket and abruptly paused the song which was playing. Scrunching your eyebrows, you turned to look at him, his fingers tapping away on his phone in search of something. When he found it, a small but satisfied grin slowly made its way to his face and he clicked on it.

[Now playing: freaks by surf curse]

As soon as the song started, a small smile creeped up on your lips. Of course he played this particular song, the song which took you paragraphs to convey how much it meant to you and how special it was. The beats flowed through your veins, as you slowly felt the tension erase itself to traces, morphing into a feeling of nostalgia.

You felt a sudden wave of adrenaline rip through your body. You both were still facing each other, the distance almost physically affecting you. Your heart raced. A fire started spreading throughout your insides, burning everything that came in its way, along with the walls of the deeply caged desire to kiss the person right in front of you. So you did.

His lips molded perfectly with yours, leaving a distinct taste of coffee and mint wandering on your tongue. His hands were cupping your cheeks and yours hands were scrunching his collar. His lips moved against yours with deep rooted desire, unspoken feelings, and hints of tiredness, but nonetheless, you were too busy dwelling on the fact that you kissed your long time love with your most treasured song playing in the back.

[kz-i-co]

Don’t Fall In Love: Part 2

Summary: You are one of the most popular bloggers on your campus, telling enriching stories of your personal heartbreaks anonymously. But your readers are not ready to handle the newest heartbreak of finding out your best friend dating your ex.

Pairing: Lee Haechan (Donghyuk) x f!reader

Genre: college au | angst (eventual fluff x smutt)

Warnings: story may contain strong language, mentions of drugs and alcohol - sexual references - reader discretion advise.

Words: 4.6k

Part 1 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

Masterlist | Nct 127 Masterlist | Nct Dream Masterlist

Taglist: @lovingvoidgoatee, @lunaryoongie, @matchahyuck, @yixingtion, @mosviqu, @ohmyhuenings, @nctzennikki09​

::: LoveAboveMyPinkClouds: blog post #51 Please understand that my short hiatus was necessary as I can firmly say....I'm going through hell. And those of you still accusing me for bullshitting fake news....then shame on you - but also honored you think my creativity is this impressive, thanks I guess. I will gladly get to your questions as my DM box is officially full - also thanks again....I guess - but please let me vent on my own because this is all too real and once again....NOT okay with it. I never seen this coming. It's bad enough I had to confront my oh so famous ex on the matter and thought I was crazy to split up his new found relationship. The jerk didn't take it well since he brought up my relationship with J - his best friend. Oops did I forget to mention that? Call me slut or hypocrite - what ever floats your boat but I as well was under a lack of information and I would take it back if I could. I have more regrets than I would like to admit and people reading who are close to me will probably connect the dots eventually and my identity will soon be blown but as of right now I'm venting and this is the only place I can comfortably do it. I will get to my session on D soon but right now I'm pissed and rather not talk about it. Thanks for being here anyway. Xoxo peace :::

"(Y/N), help me hang this." Minjeong asked letting one side of the banner dangle. It's been a few days since you've found out about Donghyuck and Minjeong and you still couldn't deal with it, but at least you played nice.

"Why are we doing this?" You sounded uninterested.

"Jimin's birthday." She sounded offended.

"I know that.....she said not to make a big deal out of it." You shrugged taping the other side.

"That's the best part." She smiled once again. "You okay? You seem down lately."

"I'm just drowning in school work, exhausted." You lied.

"You need more sleep and to stop partying."

"I've only been to two this week." You made your way to the kitchen and pulled out a can of soda.

"And stripped in front of the whole fraternity." She giggled. "And can't forget trashing your ex's."

"Must we keep talking about this? I was drunk and stupid and I said I was sorry."

"Alright." She began, following you. "Actually....can I ask you for dating advice?" She said, changing the subject.

"Trouble with catfish already?" You tried not to smile.

"It's not that....and stop calling him that." She smiled sarcastically. "How long did you date Jaemin until you guys started.....you know, sleeping together."

You didn't lie that the question alone caused your stomach to sink. "Well, first of all, he was a fuck buddy so the first date technically."

"Well then, your other ex...."

You sighed avoiding her question. "Min, you just started dating this guy and you want him to fuck you already." Your eyebrows furrowed.

You can tell she was uncomfortable. "I'm just getting impatient and I thought guys in college dived right into that stuff."

"I mean you ain't wrong. College guys are horn dogs." You giggled. "But I don't know, maybe he's a gentleman."

You chuckled to yourself because you knew that was the farthest from the truth. Donghyuck was no gentleman, at least not anymore....or maybe this was somehow an act to look innocent to get girl to fall for boy faster - what an evil genius.

"So am I wrong to worry? All we've done is kiss and hold hands. I want more." She sounded defeated and you as her best friend would feel bad and want this douche to pay but this was Donghyuck we're talking about, you didn't want happiness for him. Cruel yes but maybe he deserved it.

"Break up with him." You said nonchalantly.

"Not this again (Y/N). You act like you don't like him but you met him once, can't you try a little harder."

You heard a knock on the door ending your conversation thankfully. "I hope that's not Riri, I told her to distract Jimin, we're not done." She panicked as she opened the door.

"Speak of the devil." She squealed hugging the person on the other side and of course it had to be none other than your ex himself. "You came early to help?"

"Of course." He spoke and you couldn't help but laugh to yourself in the kitchen. His tone sounding unfamiliar.

"(Y/N) be nice." She warned as she passed you in the kitchen. "I have some balloons here that need to be filled up and I still have the punch that needs to be made and oh the snacks."

You and Donghyuck both shook your head at Minjeong's pacing as she needed everything to be perfect.

"I'll stay here with the snacks." You offered, already grabbing the bowls from the cabinets.

"Okay great. I'll blow up balloons." She grabbed the bag. "Oh shit, I left the cake in the car." She panicked and made her way to the door. "Channie, can you make the punch, you do it the best."

"A-huh." He nodded feeling overwhelmed and as soon as she left he sighed.

"Channie." You mocked as soon as he made his way over. "I love you Channie....you're so cute Channie."

"Please shut up." He grabbed the bowl, not caring he basically pushed you out of the way.

"What's wrong, no love in paradise?" You teased.

He just glared at you as you continued your fun. "I'm surprised you haven't told her yet....seems unlike you."

"Like I said, you tend to ruin relationships all on your own." You shrugged pouring the chips in the bowl.

"Yep, that was all me." He said sarcastically.

"I'm surprised you haven't slept with her yet, come on Hyukie, you're better than that.....have you lost your touch?"

"How do you even know what we've done."

"Did you forget Minjeong is my best friend? She tells me things....and she is upset."

"Upset huh?" He turned towards you with a smirk. "She really wants me that bad?.....I was waiting for her to beg.....virgin's especially can't wait long enough."

"You're sick. Maybe she's just desperate."

"You let me know when you hear next door." He remarked as Minjeong opened the door cutting off your conversation.

You crumbled the rest of the chip bag and threw it aggressively in the trash.

"Cakes fine." She smiled and sensed the awkward tension. "How's the snacks coming."

"Everything is dandy." You smiled and Donghyuck nodded and continued his punch.

You grabbed the completed bowls and made your way to the living room to place on the coffee table. You really tried not to show your disturbed emotion as you turned to grab more bowls seeing the two embraced in a sweet kiss and giggling together.

It hurt....it hurt because that was you once.

"Um....can I add liquor to this?" Donghyuck was quick to pull away, wiping off his smile as he saw you grabbing another bowl close by.

"This isn't that kind of party." Minjeong giggled.

"Not a lot, just enough to take off some edge." You knew he met you but you didn't turn around to show you were listening. You were done listening.

"Half a bottle." She said and made her way to the living room blowing up balloons.

Then you finally looked back as he gave you a rueful smile and then suddenly emptying the whole bottle causing you to softly giggle. Not a party if Donghyuck isn't spiking the punch, typical.

....

"Guys, they're gonna be here any minute." Minjeong announced as the talking started to die down.

"Isn't that your ex?" Yetak spoke next to you as Donghyuck was practically hiding in the kitchen, engaged in a conversation with Mark and Renjun. You could tell he was anxious to even be in this situation that you so happened to make worse by lying to everyone.

"Nope, they just look alike." She looked at you puzzled and then back at him. "I'll explain later but for now just pretend you don't know him okay?"

"Shhhh....she's coming." Minjeong had everyone quiet and as as the door opened....

"Surprise!" Everyone cheered as soon as Jimin and Riri walked through the door. You didn't invite a lot of people to your apartment, just some close friends and of course Minjeong allowed Donghyuck to invite some of his friends and bless your soul Jeno and Jaemin decided not to come saving you a night of disaster.

"Oh wow....thank you everyone." She smiled and leaned next to Minjeong. "I said no party."

"It's not a party....it's a gathering." She smiled cutely.

"It's a party." She smiled but you could sense the anxiety in her.

"It's not even big enough to be a party.....I only invited a few people." She remarked. "We have drinks and food....just a hang out - you only turn 23 once."

She nodded looking at you for help. "If you're really concerned Channie made some special punch if you need to relax."

"Or Mark bought some drinks, since we're all adults." He spoke up and Jimin locked eyes with him and immediately looked to you causing you to shake your head.

"Some of us." You smirked trying to get rid of any suspicion.

"Oh Jimin.....I didn't introduce you yet." Minjeong dragged him closer and he couldn't help but fake a smile as Jimin was already set up to cause disaster. "Jimin this is Haechan."

"You're the catfish?" She spoke and you combed through your hair panicked.

"Catfish?" He questioned.

"Don't take it personal Hy-Haechan.....we knew Min met you online and you know it's hard to trust anyone. Most of them lie and cheat and hide who they really are."

He glared towards you but quickly pulled off a fake laugh. "You're right....there's a bunch of crazy people on those sites, lucky Minjeong didn't meet one."

"Nope I didn't." She held his arm leaning closer.

Jimin locked eyes with you again shrewdly. "Nice to meet you."

"Do you mind if I get dressed real quick, Min?" She made a beeline through to her room. "(Y/N), Riri.....help me." She signaled and you were quick to follow.

"Can you be any more suspicious." You shouted in a hushed whisper.

"What the fuck is going on? Why is he here?"

You sighed. "That's Minjeong's new boyfriend."

"Very funny." Riri laughed.

"I'm not lying, it's been him all along -the catfish."

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Jimin practically yelled.

"Keep your voice down. Can you see why I've been so pissy lately."

"Oh my god, she don't know? You didn't tell her?"

"How am I suppose to tell her. She liked him before I even knew who he really was. I can't do that to her."

"But you're gonna let her do this to you?" Riri spoke up.

"It's not her fault, she never met "my ex" before." You shrugged defeated.

"So what is this? Is this his way of getting back at you." Jimin asked.

"He swears he didn't know she was our friend."

"Bullshit." She shook her head.

"Well, he seemed pretty startled when he first met me."

"And you just played it off like you didn't know him?"

"What was I suppose to do Ri....say hey ummm you know this is my ex that broke my heart into a million pieces."

"Yes."

Jimin looked more angry than you. "I don't know who I should be more pissed at...you or her or him."

"Trust me I'm pissed at myself as it is." You put your hands on your hips, taking a deep breath.

"And he's not in anyway consider breaking it off with her?"

"I tried.....he doesn't care about me anymore."

"You have to tell her." Jimin said with more sympathy.

"Let her be happy with that jerk."

"I don't mean for her, for you. This is not healthy (Y/N)....not after what he put your through - is still putting you through."

"Well, it's too late.....she's already sunk in deep."

"I don't care. She deserves to know, unless you're gonna keep lying to her."

"Besides - if she knew she was doing this to you, she would be upset." Riri spoke up after Jimin.

"Okay fine, but not yet."

"Sooner is better than later, she can't fall farther than she already has."

"I know, I'll handle it. I mean.....if she still wants to date him after then it's whatever."

"Why would you do that when you're still in love with him?"

"I'm not still in love- I'm not." You could tell they didn't believe you. "I'm fine - I promise."

"Guys. Everything alright?" Minjeong opened the door and Jimin quickly changed her shirt, avoiding suspension.

"Everythings great, I love the party."

Minjeong rolled her eyes playfully. "I know I know, I just want your birthday to be special."

"It is, thank you." She gave a genuine smile as you all looted back to the rest of the apartment.

"Drinks you say?" Jimin grabbed you and headed towards the kitchen. "Nice to see you again Hyuck- oops I mean Haechan." She smirked and you couldn't help but giggle as you both grabbed some drinks off the counter.

He gave a look of annoyance. "Hmm, what did she tell you?"

"Oh nothing.....I just think that if neither of you are gonna tell Minjeong than I will." She warned causing you both to look at each other timidly.

"Go ahead, I already told (Y/N) to tell her.......I did nothing wrong here."

"That's priceless." She laughed.

"What did she tell you about us.....I'm dying to know." He leaned on the counter.

"More than enough."

"I bet my life it wasn't the truth." He said causing you to laugh causing the attention of Minjeong from across the room.

"Let's not do this here....it's Minjeongs party after all." You said and Jimin took a sip in agreement.

"Have the punch it's stronger." Donghyuck smirked before walking away.

"Still in love huh?" She asked as she walked away as well. You took a deep breath grabbing a cup of his poisoned punch.

He definitely put more than one bottle in here. And it showed after three cups, but at least you weren't the only one.

::: LoveAboveMyPinkClouds: blog post #52 I wouldn't say I'm a messy drunk but you may be fooled once you're a witness. I tried to contain my emotions, I tried to contain my actions but when your love life is this much of a mess than wouldn't you agree I deserve it - a little medicine to forget my past and apparently my present. It hurts and booze is all I have. Relax - it doesn't mean I'm turning myself into an alcoholic but every now and then I need something to ease the pain. Let's just hope I don't say anything I regret the next day. :::

"I'm so curious yeah.....sajin sok niga!!!!" You sang along drunkenly with Minjeong. "Georeo nawa wae!"

"Psst.....how long are you going to let this go on?" Mark spoke next to Donghyuck as he watched you and Minjeong sing and Dance to the music.

"You want to turn the music off?" He took a sip of his  drink.

"I mean this girlfriend - ex girlfriend thing."

"(Y/N) is gonna tell her anyway, so I'll just wait it out."

"How do you know that?"

"Because I know her."

"I need a refill." Minjeong made her way to the kitchen. "I love your punch Channie.....I can't get enough."

"Oh but you will." He pulled her away as she practically collapsed into his arms.

"But it's so good." She whined.

"You can have more tomorrow." He said sweetly as he guided her to her room.

The party was pretty much cleared out by this point. "It's getting late I guess we'll head out." Renjun spoke as he stood up.

"You guys can't go yet. We're not done singing." You slurred your words. "Oof, it's hot." You started taking off your shirt.

"She has a habit of stripping when she's drunk." Jimin laughed and Donghyuck combed his fingers through his hair in annoyance as soon as he stepped out of Minjeong's room.

"I'll put her to bed, you can go." Jimin offered as Mark and Renjun approached the door.

"Thank you for inviting us, happy birthday Jimin." Mark spoke before making an exit.

"We didn't even sing happy birth-" You puked before finishing your sentence.

"You guys go, I'll meet you back." Donghyuck said to Mark and Renjun and he grabbed you gently, guiding you to the bathroom.

He leaned over the tub, turning on the shower to warm. He started unzipping your puke filled jeans helping you out of them as you just stared at him apologetic. "I'm sorry."

"Maybe I should of listened to Minjeong and only put half a bottle." He showed a slight smile.

"I'm sorry for ruining our relationship." He was caught off guard from your statement. You always accused him first for ruining the relationship but now it was the other way around. What changed with you and when did you feel this way?

"What do you mean (Y/N)." He looked at you puzzled.

"I'm sorry I was a horrible girlfriend to make you cheat." You teared and he sighed taking a moment to comprehend your confession.

"You weren't a horrible girlfriend (Y/N)."

"I bet Minjeong is better than me." You looked up at him. "Does she make you happy?"

"Let's just get you cleaned up, okay." He turned you around and unclipped your bra and guide you to the shower, closing the curtain as he faced away from you respectfully. Even though he's seen all of you before, he knew it wasn't his right anymore.

Once you were done, he handed you a towel and helped you to your room picking out some simple sweats, getting you ready for bed.

"Drink this whole glass before falling asleep." You nodded taking the water as he headed towards your door.

"Hyuck."

"Yeah?" He turned around.

"Can you stay with me?" You begged softly.

"You know I can't do that." It was his turn to look at you apologetic.

"Oh....yeah." You said quietly. "Well, thank you for taking care of me."

"Sure." He smiled softly. "Goodnight (Y/N)."

"Happy birthday to me." Jimin spoke as she got up from cleaning the puke off the floor.

"Well technically..." He pulled out his phone. "It's 1:47.....it's not your birthday anymore."

"Har har......thanks old friend." She threw the rag at him.

"Ew." He dodged.

"It's your ex's puke." She laughed. "So.....about that."

"I don't want to talk about it." He started towards the door. "She's a mess."

"Well, can you blame her?" She started making the mood more tense.

"I didn't cheat on her Jimin, I don't know what she told you but she caught something and she took it way out of proportion."

"Then why don't you explain that to her."

"I tried, she won't listen to me."

"Well, maybe she's willing to listen now." She crossed her arms.

"It's too late now.....I moved on, now it's her turn." He opened the door. "I really didn't know about Minjeong if she believes that or not but I can't lose sleep over this. I'm sorry."

"It's not just that." Jimin spoke as he took his hand off the door knob, alerting his attention back. "She's not over you, can't you see that?"

He shrugged. "What do you want me to do.....she broke up with me."

"I think the answer is pretty simple." She said softly.

"It's not my fault she didn't tell her, she's the one that lied."

"But it doesn't make it right." He sighed at her answer.

"Look, I don't owe her anything, she decided to push me out. If she chooses to tell her the truth than fine, but for now I'm going to continue on with my life and she needs to do the same."

"Alright....I get it, it's none of my business - I just care about my friends that's all. But she will know eventually and I don't want anyone to get hurt."

"Have any of you considered that it's not just (Y/N) that is hurt?" He confessed before walking out the door. "Happy Birthday Jimin."

She softly smiled in return and let out a long groan as soon as she locked the door behind him.

::: LoveAboveMyPinkClouds: blog post #52 Okay so I admit....I fucked up. Pretending I didn't know my best friends new boyfriend is probably the dumbest decision I have ever made but what can I say - I panicked. I saw him and my mind went blank.....because the truth be told.....I'm not over you D - there I said it. Most of you called it anyway. Why do I even bother hiding anything. Those two damn years we have spent together was the best two damn years of my life - even if I still think it was wasted. D was the one I was so sure I wanted to marry, to eventually have kids with, to grow old with - my everything. But what changed? I know you guys are still dying to know.....but I'm just not ready. I got drunk last night and poured my heart out just to be shot down. Regrets regrets regrets - now he knows how I feel, I showed him weakness and now he's probably gloating in his victory. Probably even telling J of how much of a mess I am at this very moment. I'm in for a treat that's for sure. Well I guess that's all for now. Xoxo peace :::

-

"Can I talk to you for a second?" He arched his eyebrows in confusion as you were the one knocking on his door.

"I don't want to be rude (Y/N) but I'm leaving soon to meet up with Minjeong."

"I know, it will just be a second." Your tone was serious and he opened his door to let you in. Mark was nowhere to be seen, leaving you and Donghyuck alone for your disliking.

"So what's up?" He sat down on his wheelie chair, gently rocking back and fourth. You couldn't help but admire his comfy state - hair slightly a mess - slight dark circles forming under his eyes from his lack of sleep caused by late night video games and - sweats to top it all off. You missed that.

What were you doing? This is your ex you are thinking about. He wasn't yours anymore - stop staring at him like that. "(Y/N)? Are you still hungover?"

"Um- yes definitely hungover." He smirked at your stumble. "I just wanted you to know that, that wasn't me last night.....I was clearly drunk and I said some thing's I didn't mean and I'm sorry."

"You didn't say anything upsetting." He grew confused.

"Yeah but I still said some things I regret....I don't remember every little piece but I do know you helped me to bed and I just wanted to thank you."

"Sure but for you sake, let's not do it again." He leaned forward resting on his knees. "You made poor Jimin clean up your vomit on her birthday."

"I threw up?"

"All over the place.....even on yourself."

Your eyes grew wide trying to recall the events that happened. He cleaned you up? Does that mean he undressed you?

"I know what you're thinking." He stood up. "I had no intention of seeing you naked so get those dirty thoughts out of your head. I just helped you in the shower."

"How am I suppose to believe you when I was drunk."

His expression turned sour. "You should know me better than that.....and besides it's not like I haven't seen you before."

"But you don't have that right anymore." You snickered. "Who am I kidding, it wouldn't be the first time looking at other women when you're in a relationship."

He sighed clenching his teeth. "This is what I get for helping you?......Why don't you do everyone a favor and don't get wasted anymore because no one is going to help you."

"I didn't ask for you to help me."

"Why are you even here if you were just gonna harass me?"

"I just wanted to tell you to forget last night even happened."

"Forgotten." He held open the door and you walked out, you turned around thinking more words were going to be said but instead - a door slammed in your face.

::: LoveAboveMyPinkClouds: blog post #53 Transferring was becoming more and more clear as I live day to day. I am just making everything worse.....aren't I. Every time I open my mouth I find myself regretting what comes pouring out - drunk or sober. I don't know what to do by this point. My heart is like a balloon - slowly being deflated. :::

"What's wrong with you?" Jimin said as you burst through the door and collapsed on the couch.

"I hate everything."

"What happened now?"

"I went over to thank Hyuck for helping me last night but it turned into an argument like always."

"You went over to his dorm?" She asked.

"Yeah." You shrugged nonchalantly.

"Minjeong is on her way over there now, what if she saw you?"

"He said he was meeting her - never mind, I don't care.....I didn't see her it's fine."

"If you're gonna hold up this secret of yours, you need to be more careful because what if she thinks you two are hooking up behind her back, that would be worse than lying."

"That wouldn't happen." You shook your head.

"Why because you're gonna tell her the truth?" She forced.

"No because every time we're together we argue. No love connection what's-so-ever." She glared at you. "I'll tell her jeez, no worries I'm just waiting for the right time."

"There's never a good time, that's why you should just get it over with."

"I know." You sighed finally sitting up right, turning on the tv. "I've literally been rehearsing what I'm going to say."

"Just make it short and simple. Haechan is Donghyuck and you're having a hard time accepting them together."

"I'm not having a hard time-"

"Stop bullshitting (Y/N).....you can lie to yourself all you want but you're not fooling the rest of us."

You rolled your eyes but you knew she was right. "I'm just gonna go drown myself in alcohol."

"(Y/N), no more drinking." She laughed.

"Honestly I'm done talking about this right now." You snipped. "I just want to forget about him for one damn second."

"So....we ordering food, then."

"Yes please." You faked whined causing each other to laugh breaking the tension.

::: LoveAboveMyPinkClouds: blog post #53 Yep.....I should have most definitely kept my mouth shut, because I might have pissed him off worse than I thought. But I should have learned that if you mess with a snake, you're gonna get bit but I flinched and now the venom is traveling down to take me out for good this time. :::

"(Y/N) get dressed." Minjeong burst through the door being dramatically over excited.

"Why?" You groaned not wanting to get up.

"You and I are going on a double date." She said and Jimin sucked in her lips trying to not say anything.

"Huh?" You leaned up.

"Come on.......it will be fun. Dancing and dinner - hot sexy date."

"With who?" You were beyond puzzled.

"Okay so maybe I'm not really sure.....but Haechan says he has this friend that wants to hang out and he's single so...." She shrugged.

Donghyuck selecting a date for you? This can't be good. You pissed him off this morning and now he is in some way, taking revenge. Who could it be? Maybe he payed some desperate nerd to hook you up with. The thought just made your skin crawl. He was definitely up to no good.

"I'm sick."

"(Y/N) please...let's have fun." She pouted.

"Okay but the second I'm uncomfortable, I'm leaving." You'll be surprised if you last the first 5 minutes, to be honest.

.....

"Will you stop pacing, they will be here any minute."

"I thought this place was a lounge not a club."

"It is a lounge, I guess they are just packed tonight." She shrugged.

"I swear if he brings some creep to hit on me-"

"Look they're here." You glanced over seeing Donghyuck entered first and you already hated him for looking the way he did. He may be the type to wear sweats all day if he wanted to but when it came down to business, he knew how to dress nicely and you grew angry from just how attractive he is.

He glanced at you but by the way he eyed you up and down made your question what he was really thinking. He almost seemed speechless. You just hoped he wasn't thinking anything negative.

He did love me once?.....

You tried to shake off the thought of him, looking behind to see who he thought would distract you for the night on this oh so exciting double and you almost thought your eyes deceived you. What an asshole! You knew he was out for revenge and he couldn't sink any lower.

"Hey (Y/N)."

"Hey Jaemin."

-

>> Next Part

©property.of.kz-i-co

[fly-forever-young]

I have a request if you don’t mind:) mark being clingy just fluff ^^ thank you

•~𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐒𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠

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"Go away" You try to push Mark away without really succeeding. But as soon as you move him away, he is again wrapping his arms around your waist and resting his head in the hollow of your neck, tickling you.

"But you look so lovely right now, omg my heart Y / n have mercy"

you laugh as you continue to wash the dishes, now there are few left and Mark can wait. " Mark One minute and I'm done" Mark holds you tighter "It's too long" Not knowing what to do to convince him you no longer answer by continuing to do what you are doing.

"You see you're so busy you don't even have time to answer me, you need a break" Mark picks you up while you try to free yourself in vain "Mark I'm was almost done- Put me down-" Although you want to sound angry the tone of your voice and the smile on your face do not help you. You love it when Mark is so affectionate with you. Mark makes you lie down on the sofa on your back, and then gets on top of you with his head on your chest as his arms hold you. "This is better than washing the dishes" He smiles satisfied that he has accomplished his mission. You don't say anything just smile but it doesn't seem to be enough for Mark who complains. "Stroke my hair baby" Mark lifts his head to look at you, his eyes sparkling. "What's up with you today?"

"I just miss you .... And you're wearing my shirt so how can I resist?" Mark whispers the last part of sentence but you hear it anyway, you put your hand in his hair, now his head is again on your chest as your fingers caress his soft hair.

[liliansun]

OMG YAYYY SO CAN I REQUEST SOME DOYOUNG TEXTS??

random texts w—boyfriend doyoung!

(idk if you can tell but I really tried 😭 so I hope you like it love!)