#you just needed the 80s music and clothes fuckers

[whenthedoctorwashim]

useless duffers

okay i've read so many posts similar to this but i guess i kinda need to get it out as well.

first of all at this time of consumerism of tv shows and movies, representation became much much more important compared to earlier decades. we need diversity and i dont care the aspects of it just diversity. race, political opinion, sexuality, religion i just dont care we need every single of that and we've been craving for it for such a long time. we DESERVE it. especially from the queerbaiting perspective we just deserve it.

and i'm sick of having to talk about this in 2022. this is fucking embarrasing for humanity.

okay let me just get back to st point of it.

im just leaving will to the end because god thats gonna take time.

everyone in st has some deeply heavy trauma but lets just focus on max's just for the sake of my rambling and vol 1 aspect of it. max had clearly depression. she lost a family member she is just pushing herself away from everyone who cares about her etc. the scene where max was captured by vecna i just immediately thought "yeah i mean she cant die that would just be trash and duffers wouldn't do that you have to show some strength you have to show a meaningful scene where she needs to rescue herself i mean this is the point of the show, outcasts survive, LIVE, they realize their worth and they have each other" and then she was finally able to run away from her *demons*/vecna/ and came to realization that her life is worth something was so impactful. I fell in love with the scene because thats all we could ask for. We can overcome our mental issues. We just need strenght, love and support system. What is the point of the storytelling if you build up your characters' background in such a rich way but then just throw it in trash by killing them in such a weak fearful way??

yeaahh about that.

MY BOY WILL.

oh my god will. he is a gay boy in 80s. he is getting bullied by his father and classmates because of it. he is in love with his straight best friend. their group is getting bullied for being *nerds* as well. he is basically the representative for hundreds of gay kids in 80s. a lot of people saw themselves in will. they get bullied, they get attacked, they get called as an outcast just like will.

so from the point of storytelling; what is the impactful, meaningful and honestly the RIGHT direction for will? Well thats fucking easy. He needs to find happiness and love he deserves. He need to realise that he is NOT a mistake or burden for those around him. He needs to be appreciated and get the support system he needs.

My boy got fucking dragged down to the upside down. he got back and everything changed. the boy who he is in love with changed, their dnd group changed. He was just trying to cling onto something that made him happy and their friends didnt even see that. then as time progresses he just became more and more like a silent forgotten character in the group??? he moved away from the only place he knows as home and then his best friend didnt even try to stay in contact with him??? but will is still in love with him?? but he still thinks he is the mistake?? he is wrong for being like this?? and his friends dont even care about him?? they forget his fucking birthday??? actually noone cared about his fucking birthday?? he just fucking cried his eyes out in the car with his best friend sitting next to him and noone noticed??? he cant even find the words to tell his brother how he feels and somehow we should be okay??? he just watched his best friend saying the day he disappeared was the day he was born and somehow that should be romantic from another point of view???

im so fucking angry im just gonna stop.

will could be so beautiful. will's arc could be soooo meaningful. he had all the powerful elements. he was the hero he was the HEART of the group. i dont care what anyone says. he was the survivor and he was wise one with a lost voice.

as much as i love byler i didnt need to have it. i just needed will to be in peace with himself and find some resolution. i needed him to be free of his demons. i needed his running max scene. he deserves it so fucking much.

but instead we get blinded, on the verge of death max and crying his eyes out, trying to save a weird meaningless straight relationship will.

thanks duffers. fuck you.

[bluseum]

I posted 680 times in 2022

That's 665 more posts than 2021!

332 posts created (49%)

348 posts reblogged (51%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@counciloffrogs

@delinquent-pigeons

@bluseum

@dingdongyouarewrong

@madphantom

I tagged 460 of my posts in 2022

Only 32% of my posts had no tags

#skulduggery pleasant - 292 posts

#derek landy - 210 posts

#ask response - 63 posts

#valkyrie cain - 41 posts

#penis discourse - 33 posts

#the soundtrack project - 31 posts

#music making - 29 posts

#tanith low - 21 posts

#doctor who - 19 posts

#china sorrows - 14 posts

Longest Tag: 80 characters

#running a tumblr fan account when the author thinks the site is dead is so funny

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

You know how when skulduggery puts on clothes they “fill out” as if there’s stuff underneath? would a condom work?

I had this thought at work and now I need to inflict it on others

IM GOING TO CRY WHY WOULD YOU SAY THIS OUT LOUD but also you asked the right fanblog. i think the answer is probably yes judging by the way Skulduggery’s clothes are always drawn with (decent, fuck you Tom Percival) human anatomy underneath

also his ability to feel a form of pain would correlate to this, as the illusion of flesh is clearly there and functional

plus, when he got put in a physical body in Until The End, he was most surprised by things like hair, implying that he’s used to still having everything else. so yes, in other words

skulduggery probably has a ghost dick (but only when he wears protection)

62 notes - Posted October 28, 2022

#4

aha i knew you fuckers would be here

70 notes - Posted November 26, 2022

#3

Skulduggery would convince Valkyrie that Goncharov was real, and that he saw it when it was first released. She would buy it, let’s be real

78 notes - Posted November 22, 2022

#2

what’s everyone’s favourite Skulduggery Pleasant joke. personally i am a fan of Detective Inspector Me or the Stick gift incident

79 notes - Posted September 4, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Skulduggery and Valkyrie have very iconic looks, and then the rest of the Dead Men are just like

140 notes - Posted October 8, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[disaster-duo-stuff]

《 General HCs 》

♤ Literally was born from a hallucination. No parents. Just an orphan /lh

♤ This fucker literally with bite someone as a form of affection. He just loves someone so much, he might try to bite them

♤ Can't fly because his wings were burned and torn really early on because he didn't understand the concept of hunters, but he can float!

♤ Doesn't trust easily, and is super overprotective of his friends, especially if they are origins/hybrids themselves

♤ Loves to go ghost and scare the people around him /lh

♤ Has sensitive vision, so he is often seen with his eyes closed during the day, or in the light, using his sensors to "see"

♤ Also has extremely sensitive hearing! Can't take too much loud sounds! Often wears earplugs to help dampen the sound

♤ Anything green on his body glows in the dark/at night

♤ Shorter than cc!Wilbur! About 5'8" cause phantoms are small compared to other mobs

♤ Long tail with bones on the top and a tuff of fur at the end; his wingspan is also greater than his height

♤ Scales! Feelers! Nightfury like!

♤ The feelers help with feeling shifts in wind, sound, temperature, everything. Pretty much as sensitive as his hearing

♤ Pranks are his job

♤ Loves to play guitar and sing,,,music is a comfort and coping mechanism,,,

♤ 80/20 lee to ler

《 Ler HCs 》

♤ Very teasy ler

♤ Likes to point out anything he notices; you snorted? He's pointing it out. He "sees" your face heat up? He points it out, etc etc

♤ Also will actually listen when being told to shut up or stop, even if you didn't mean it

♤ Loves complimenty teases, especially towards shy lees

♤ Uses teases as way to make up for not really wrecking people; he's usually softer than what most people may assume

♤ That tail is his favorite weapon against people. And since he doesn't need to be visible to touch someone, he'll poke and prod at random when he can't be seen

♤ Aftercare is a must- unless you try to make a move to get revenge. He's trying to get out of there asap

《 Lee HCs 》

♤ Very much a squirmy lee who'll fight a bit; stubborn af. "Nonononono- we can talk about thihiHIS!"

♤ You don't have to speak very loudly to tease him; his hearing is so sensitive you can whisper without being close and he'll hear it

♤ Will squeak, giggle, worrble, squeal, laugh,,, all of that

♤ Cannot take silence when it comes to being so rudely attacked /lh

♤ Even if your quiet he can still hear your heart beating, your breathing, all of that

♤ Really sensitive to softer tickles, can't take them on certain areas like ears and his feelers

♤ Bruh, anticipation is his absolute weakness. Even if he closes his eyes, he can still see the ler through the thermal vision

♤ He might start to go invis and sink into the ground slightly

♤ He'll say he hates it but his wagging tail says otherwise

《 Spot HCs 》

♤ Ears - 19/10

▪︎ Like I said; sensitive ears. This spot can easily get him squealing. Sometimes random things like his hair or clothing can tickle. All you need to do is blow or whisper and he can be giggling or trying not to smile. Will duck away, or try to

♤ Feelers - 19/10

▪︎ Same as his ears ♡

♤ Neck - 9/10

▪︎ Ticklish to both soft and rough tickles. One of his favorite spots because of the intimacy

♤ Sides - 5/10

▪︎ Despite not being ticklish, you can still get some cute giggles and soft laughter from him,,,

♤ Knees - 5/10

▪︎ Same as sides ♡

♤ Back - 9/10

▪︎ Squealing and squeaking mess, that's it. Can also get him to melt if it's soft tickles

♤ Wings - 10/10

▪︎ Imagine his Back and Neck but Worse. Can't really be rough because the membrane isn't as strong as it was before, BUT things like raspberries, and careful scribbling work as it still has a good bit of elasticity

[creepy-bi-day]

Uhh hello fren! Idk if ur taking requests or not? It’s ok if u aren’t but if u r? May I request a matchup w EMH,MH,or MLA0? (U can pick which one I’m not picky lol) I’m a cis female who’s Bisexual. I’m 5’4 on the chubbier side w shoulder length blonde hair that’s like super wavy kinda got an 80s vibe to it and grey/blue eyes. Don’t really have an aesthetic unless u consider being an indecisive clown one? 😅 if I had to pick tho either sporty/comfy trash goblin or wanna be alt there is no in between!

If I had to describe my self I’m huge Dork for starters? 😂😅 I’m also sort of the overly concerned aunt friend that is either the big extrovert in one group or the introvert in the other there’s no in between! I’ve also been told I have occasional confused af bimbo vibes??🤣 I really luv cosplaying, writing, ART ANYTHING!!!, movies (cartoons and horror movies r my favs!) honestly just horror anything? :/ Doing FX make up, music don’t really have any specific favorite I’ll pretty much listen to anything, and learning new useless facts about random stuff! I luv animals specifically aquatic ones, I also luv to collect useless things and sometimes tern them into little trinkets like the trash goblin I am.

I also have epilepsy, bilateral hip dysplasia (means I was born without a hip socket and walking is whack I have a severe case of old lady bones lol), and anxiety.

Idk if ur doing NSFW or not but if u r? Her r a few things for the NSFW: the biggest of subs!!!,light BDSM, daddy/master/sir stuff, breeding, edging, hair pulling, degrading & praise, (cough cough may or may not be a small bit of a monster fucker but it’s whatever cough cough) and weapons stuff Yeah that’s about all I can think of 😅

Also thank u so much man ur writing is like really amazing btw! 💕

Sorry this took so long!! And thank you so much for the compliment!! <3

I ship you with...

Evan!

sfw

He loves your style, tbh. And that's one of the things that drew him to you originally

Please steal his clothes

He loves horror!

He will gladly help you take videos of cosplay or help you choose a new character

Probably has asked you to cosplay Lady Dimetrescu

If you're having a bad anxiety day, he will gladly cancel any plans and just hold you

Loves to add to your collection of trinkets.

"Hey, I found this shiny rock and this Romanian coin."

He's good at helping you get your bearings after a seizure, and will do whatever you need to help avoid them

He's your biggest fan, tbh. He brags about you and your art/cosplay to anyone that'll listen.

NSFW

do you like knives? :))

He will gladly show you exactly how skilled he is with using his.

He likes rope, and loves to see you nice and tied up for him

Please please call him Master in the bedroom. He will go feral

He's a sadomasochist, so..

Please leave marks

Claw marks down his back, bite marks, whatever. Just please mark him up

He will gladly fulfill your love of degradation and praise

Sometimes in the same breath

"Such a good little slut, aren't you? Daddy's perfect little whore."

Overall? 10/10 best boy. Would fuck

[j0hn-deacons-perm]

Charcoal Dust

Female reader x Brian May

Word Count ~6,100. 

I had this fic sitting in my documents since August and re-reading it, I didn’t hate it. So I guess I’m posting it. A bit of a warning I suppose...it goes get slightly suggestive but not 18+..If you’re sensative to that sort of thing, maybe skip this one my dudes.

With the last flick of your eyeliner, you deem yourself ready to head out to the bar. Freddie wanted to let off some steam with finals and you couldn't help but to join in. The apartment you two share have been littered with projects and materials and he almost strangled you for not cleaning up your charcoal dust. With that being the straw which broke the camel's back, tonight is to just get shit faced and to have fun. At least Fred settled one a bar that isn't too much of a walk so you don't have to worry about driving. Grabbing your coat, you leave the complex and into the cold december night.

***

"Y/N, dearie, you're here! Finally the night can commence!"

Freddie runs to you and wraps his arm around your shoulders. 

"The boys are here as well. Can't tell you how much work it took to get John out."

Your eyes settle on Deaky, already a bit drunk and waving at you with a grin. "Evenin' Y/N! How's it going?"

"Not as good as you from the looks of it. But I bet a couple drinks could fix that."

You turn to the bar and order your usual mix drink along with a round of shots for everyone. 

"Here's to having a good night amongst friends!"

"Cheers!"

Everyone downs their shot and you finally sit down, taking the empty spot next to Deaky. Roger and Brian seem to be in their own little world talking about something so you don't bother with that can of worms yet.

"Y/N, did you find a new model for your drawing yet?"

"Nope. That fucking Steven kid answered my ad, took my payment then just vanished. Won't answer the phone, haven't seen him around campus..I'm out like 80 quid and nothing to draw for my final."

"Ouch. What does it entail exactly?"

"I need to do a live nude model study."

Roger's ears seem to perk up with the mention of 'nude'.

"I can help you out with that, love."

Brian rolls his eyes and Freddie chuckles. 

"So, me buying you a shot doesn't get your attention but mentioning I need to draw a naked person does?"

"Well, yeah. You should know this by now."

"I thought alcohol and nudity were on the same tier of importance to you, Taylor."

"Close..but not quite."

You nod at him with a fake academic-like expression as you rub your chin.

"Right, so if anyone knows someone who would be down to model for me let me know."

"I just said I was!"

"Anyone but Roger."

"Oh! What about Brian, dear? He'd be a great model."

The man in question glares.

"Uh..Fred, I don't think so."

"Why ever the fuck not? I've seen you naked before, May. You'd be fantastic. Plus Y/N gets to see your cute little bottom and huge cock!"

His cheeks turn bright red.

"Absolutely not, Fred."

Freddie looks over to your face, laughing despite blushing profusely. He knows of your small crush on the guitarist and loves to relish in opportunities making you and Brian uncomfortable in hopes you two would actually do something. Much to his, and your disappointment, nothing ever happens.

"Well I would do it but I don't have the time in my schedule considering I'm going to be stuck in the art building working on my own shit. Now come on, don't subject her to Roger."

Brian looks over to you, finding you playing with a hem on your shirt, trying to distract yourself from the awkward conversation.

"Well we both know Bri's not going to do it, so when can I come over, love?"

With a slump of your shoulders, you face the blonde.

"It's not a sexual thing where I draw everything, you know. You're going to be in a pose you can hold for a long period of time while I focus on drawing mainly your prominent body landmarks like ribs, pelvis, and muscles along with bones."

"See, Bri? It's not a personal experience, she's just studying your anatomy. With how lanky you are, it'd be easy to see everything."

"I'll also pay you for your time. Might be a bit before I can get the money but you will be compensated. Also if it's too much for you, you can wear your underwear for most of it until I need to get a certain part."

He looks between you and Freddie, a sigh escapes his lips.

"Fine. I'll do it."

Freddie smirks at you and gives a wink before coming into to whisper in your ear.

"Just a heads up, I've seen him naked and you may have to draw three legs."

You turn bright red but can't help but to cackle at his comment. Brian rolls his eyes and says 'fucker' under his breath. 

*** A couple drinks turn to quite a few and talking with Brian ended up with the date, time and place for your drawing session. Now that three days have passed, the time arrives along with four knocks on the door. 

"Hey Y/N."

"Hey Bri, thank you so much again for doing this for me."

He looks around the living room and sees you've set up your workspace: an easel, one of the living room chairs and one of the end tables with your box of drawing utensils. He also looks at how it's pointed towards the sofa with a sheet draped on it. 

"How would you like me?"

"Comfortable. You'd probably be stuck in that spot for a while. I have pillows if you want 'em."

He nods and sits down on the sofa while you go towards the record player and pop on one of your favorite records.

"I like to work to music so hope you're okay listening to the Beatles for a few hours."

"Why would I complain about good music?"

You chuckle as you sit down in your spot, making any last minute adjustments to the easel's height. Turning your head to the sofa, you see him unbuckling his belt before slipping his shirt off. Back towards you. 

Freddie was right, he has a good figure to make this assignment easy for you. Despite trying to stay professional, it's hard to not check out your crush as he strips. When the pants start slipping off, you turn away, too shy to look anymore. 

He is your friend, Y/N...he is your friend who is helping you with a project. Don't make this weird..

But then you remember your roll of tape for the sheet so when it's break time, you won't lose the pose. 

Shit...

"Hey Bri, once you settle on a pose, would it be okay if I put some tape around you so we don't lose the pose after we take a break?"

"Yeah, that's okay. I also might take you up on that pillow offer."

"Sounds good, I'll be right back."

You smile as you get up and leave for your bedroom to grab him a couple pillows off your bed. When you walk back into the living room, you swear the air has shifted once you see him laying in his underwear on the couch, watching the record spin on the turn table. A knot forms in your stomach..

You're working on your final, you're working on your final, you're working on your final.....

You walk up towards him and hands him the pillows. He promptly adjusts them to fit his pose.

"This alright for your composition, Y/N?"

"Let me check."

You sit down back in your chair and look at what you can see. You can see many of the body's landmarks..ribs, collar bones, muscles, parts of the pelvis...but not the strongest for a good composition.

"The pose is fine but I'm going to move over a bit to get a more interesting angle of ya."

You scoot your set up closer towards the turntable, giving a more dynamic angle of your model.

"Alright, we're looking good. Just need to tape where you're at and we can get started."

Hands slightly shaking on the masking tape roll, you rip pieces off and place them where Brian's posed. It's easy to tell he's tense.

"Bri, you're welcome to chat during this if you want. And whenever you want to take a break to stretch out, do not hesitate to ask."

"Sounds good, love. I guess I'm ready when you are."

He's called you love before but now it seems a bit different...

HE IS JUST HELPING YOU ON YOUR FINAL PROJECT, STOP IT

You rub over your paper pad, sighing and grab your hard charcoal to get the initial lines and shapes in. You can see him closing his eyes once more marks land on your paper. His shoulders also slowly begin to become less tense. 

*** Two full albums later, Brian calls break time. You clean your hands off on your pants and set your charcoal back in its box next to you. Having the main structures done and angles correct, you feel good about the progress. 

"How's it coming along, love?"

"I think maybe another hour or so and we'll be good."

"Can I sneak a look or is it confidential?"

You nod your head for him to take a look, his presence now behind your back as he analyzes your work. Nerves become more apparent the longer he's silent. You're about to look over your shoulder until you hear him say

"I'm really liking it so far, Y/N. Fred's told us about your work and it's incredibly articulate. However it is odd knowing that's me on your paper."

You blush profusely at his compliment, even more so now that you realize he's extremely close to your body wearing just underwear. 

"Well how about I grab you a robe and I'll make us some coffee?"

"Sounds lovely to me, especially since seeing how you're fully clothed, I'm a bit vulnerable."

"I don't mean to make you uncomfortable! Let's get that robe."

"I'm not uncomfortable, just a bit cold maybe."

Leaving for your room once again, you grab your robe. It might be a bit too short for the gentle giant in your living room but it's better than nothing.

"I'm surprised you didn't give me Fred's."

"You don't want it, trust me."

He laughs, tying the belt around his middle and follows you into the small kitchen to grab his favorite mug whenever he visits. The silence grows more comfortable as you hear the coffee drip into the small pot and another cabinet opens to grab the sugar. You open the fridge to grab the milk. Your pour the hot liquid as he adds the sugar to the two mugs, followed by the splash of milk you like in yours. Smiles meet each other and you two sit back in the living room, a new record begging to be played. 

"Want more Beatles or how about just some John? I have Plastic Ono Band and Imagine."

"Oh god, that's a decision isn't it?"

"It really is. I'm half tempted to just put Hard Day's Night on."

"Did you see that in theaters? The girls went absolutely mad."

"With that scene with John in the bath? I'm sure I still have hearing issues from that. It got even worse seeing Help."

"George bit?"

"George bit."

Laughs echoed amongst the walls, sharing knowing glances at how loud the shrieking was. 

"Have to love sort of shared traumatic experiences. But I'm intrigued, who is your favorite of the four?"

"The Beatles or Queen?"

A slight smirk dances across his lips.

"Beatles? When I was younger, Paul. In more recent years, has to be John. I really respect his political work and his solo albums are so personal and raw."

He nods at your answer, agreeing.

"But with you lot? No one. Don't tell Freddie that, he'll plant something in my bed."

He answers in a hearty laugh.

'It's not like I can say you before we get back to working on a naked drawing of you...'

*** With Lennon playing on the speakers and more charcoal on paper, you're back at it again. Brian somehow managed to get himself back into the same pose with one or two directions from you. Things are now going easier considering the drawing is now just filling in the blanks until you couldn't get one detail right due to it being covered by his underwear. The more you try to remember how the muscles and bone look, the more incorrect it looks to your eyes. The inevitable needs to happen.

"Hey Brian, I'm hating to ask this but uh...I can't get the lower abs to look right with the pelvis. Could you....takeyourunderwearoff."

The last part just rushed past your lips as fast as you could. Your cheeks are bright red, a tell tale sign being how hot your face just became. It's even worse when he arches his brow.

"What was that last part?"

You sigh deeply.

"Could you...take your underwear off so I can get your pelvis a bit better?"

"Oh...uh, yeah."

His cheeks probably match yours but you cover your eyes while he strips the last bit of cloth standing between him being completely exposed in front of you.  

"Alright Y/N, you can look now."

His nervous laughter is puntuated with your eyes opening again. While you have a clearer view of the muscles in question, you also have a clearer view of other things.

You now understand why it's called a happy trail. 

Correcting his angles once again, you start where you just left off. Only to have the record stop playing, meaning you had to stand up and change the music. Meaning probably a clear view of his, what Freddie called, 'his third leg'. Hands slightly shakey as they remove the vinyl and put it back in its respective sleeve. Fingers lead their way towards Revolver, your go-to homework album. Once the intro of Taxman plays, you make your way back to your seat. During which, your peripheral vision does you dirty. 

Fred wasn't entirely kidding. Dear god, Y/N, you're almost done just finish your damn project so Bri can go home and you can take a cold shower...

You sit back down and sigh, taking your charcoal and getting back to work, correcting any inaccuracies caused by his underwear being in the way and adding more to his figure. Side one is over far too soon, causing you to get up and be betrayed by your eyes once again.

At least now it's just adding a bit of definition to the head and small details. Taking the blunt end of your charcoal stick, you begin adding some hair to the drawing. The couple hairs on his chest, a gesture of pubic hair and some messy lines for the curls on top of his head. Staring at his face now, he peeks his eyes open and winks at you then smiles. 

"I thought you weren't going to draw my face?"

"Just a little something so it's not just a blank shape."

"Alright. Do you want my eyes open or closed?"

"Do what you want, Bri."

His eyes land on the legs of your easel, moving them around a bit to follow the smudges of paint and charcoal about. Your eyes trace along the angles of his face, adding them to the basic head shape you added during the beginning steps. Browbone, cheeks, nose, eyes, brows, and gesture of his slightly open mouth put down on paper as you mark it done. Looking at the lower right corner of your paper and taking your thin marker, you write your name, class session, semester, and model's first name. 

"Alright Bri, I think we're good to go. Want to come take a look?"

Standing up and putting your robe back on, he walks behind the chair. His eyes take in the final composition, from the pillows to his curls all the way down to how to managed to get the angle right on his feet. The sofa, while made of basic abstract shapes, make him look like he's properly weighed out on the cushions. 

"It's weird seeing me like that."

"I bet. Talking with some of the models outside of class, they tell me it takes some getting used to seeing shit like this."

"Seeing what others see in your naked body is very...daunting. I think you made me look too good to be honest."

"I just drew what I saw, May."

You look up behind you and catch him blushing, looking down at you while smiling.

"You are incredibly talented, Y/N. If you don't get an A, I'm taking personal offense with your instructor."

You blush hard at the compliment while laughing at his comment. 

"Honestly, I would too. You made a beautiful model, Bri. It was an honor to draw you."

Why did I just say that?..

He looks away, face looking shy. He takes compliments almost as bad as you. He sits down back on the sofa, looking at you.

"Now, you did say at the bar that I'd be compensated for my time."

"That I did."

You start to pack away your drawing supplies before digging a can of hairspray out of your backpack. Spraying a light coat over your drawing, you let it dry before packing it away for safe keeping.

 His eyes watch you dismantle your workspace, showing him something you've done nearly a hundred times over. Little did you know, seeing you in your element like this made his heart swell. Brian knew you were an art student but never saw you at work. Little did he know, yours did the same when you saw him at practice or on stage. After cleaning up and putting furniture back in their right spots, you sit down in the chair to only find Brian patting the cushion next to him. Giving him a fake glare, you sit next to him. 

"I've been thinking of payment and would it just be fine if we ordered some take away and hung out? I'd feel bad taking your money."

"You sure? I'd feel bad not compensating you for your time."

"Y/N, I laid on your couch, chatted with you and listened to my favorite music. Yeah it was a bit weird considering I take a girl out before she sees me naked but hey."

You laugh nervously at his joke, blushing for probably the 53rd time that night.

"I'll get dressed and we'll head out, that good for you?"

"Yeah. I need to change clothes anyway."

"Why? You look cute covered in charcoal."

Your heart nearly jumps out of your chest like a looney toons character. You and the guys are used to calling eachother cute or handsome but something about him being just about naked underneath your robe after drawing him for nearly two hours makes your heart race at a dangerous pace. 

"Let's get ready, hmm?"

He stands up, clothes in tow as he walks to the bathroom. The sound of the door closing brings you back to the moment. Grabbing your pillows and sheet off the couch, you leave for your room. The slight smell of him lingering on the fabric fills your nostrils as you throw it towards your laundry basket. 

"Goddammit...don't get your hopes up. It's not like this is a date, Y/N..." You whisper under your breath. 

Grabbing the clothes you wore earlier today, you get dressed and apply a little extra deodarant and perfume. By the time you've put your shoes on and out of your room, he's slipping his shoes on. Even in mid-December, he's wearing his clogs. He hears your laughter from across the room.

"What's so funny?"

"Bri, it's Christmas in nearly two weeks and you're wearing clogs? If you slip on ice thanks to those things, I’m not helping you up."

"It hasn’t snowed yet, though! Have to wear them while there's still time. Besides, look who's bloody talking wearing canvas sneakers in the cold."

"At least my entire foot is in the shoe."

"That's it, I'm not letting you borrow my scarf if it's still windy. Not with that attitude."

You smack his arm and grab your purse off the coat rack. Locking the door behind you is the last thing before you two leave for any place that is still serving food at this hour. 

***

Only getting as far as a corner store, you two buy a couple drinks then enough snacks to constitute a meal. The walk back to the apartment was on the quiet side, Brian looking up to the sky every few blocks in a vain attempt to see any stars that would accompany the moon shining that night. Not much for viewing besides the waxing moon hanging above your heads, hundreds of thousands miles away. 

"Hey Bri?"

His features seem almost guilty, being caught in the act but he smiles at you.

"Would it be possible for you to teach me some things about what's up there? Fred's showed me some astrology stuff but it would be kinda cool seeing the constellations and what makes them, y'know?"

"I'd just talk your ear off."

"Can't be too bad, I deal with that already."

You wink as he rolls his eyes. 

"But I'm serious, I want to know a little bit about what you study in uni. Especially since we go to different schools, it'd be interesting seeing another side of academics that isn't just color theory or how to mathematically draw cylinders."

"How do you mathematically draw cylinders?"

"It's all about angles and where it sits in space, mostly. Getting that perspective correct. After enough practice I guess you can just sort of see it rather than drawing out all these different grids and lines."

"Does that tie in with drawing people?...That's probably a stupid question of course it does."

"It does but with that, you also need to keep in mind where things in the body are. In our class we also have to do these...sculpting lessons. We're given half a skeleton on a stand and we sculpt the muscles using clay."

He nods, listening to you talk about your coursework and your subject matters from basics to more focused studies. Once back to your apartment, you find Freddie has returned from the art building. The noises of you and Brian taking off shoes and coats made him pop his head around the wall.

"Y/N, lovie, how did your drawing session go?"

"Rather well! Want to see it?"

"Well of course, dear!"

You grab your and Brian's bags from the corner store and place it on the kitchen counter before heading over to your drawing pad, propped up against your chair. Nerves arise as you watch his eyes gaze over your work, the smell of the hairspray you used seal in the charcoal floating to your nostrils. 

"Fucking hell, this is brilliant. If you get a bad mark I'm visiting your professor during office hours and giving them a piece of my mind."

He looks down Brian's legs on the paper, your careful contour lines elegantly outlining the muscles. 

"I think you forgot a leg, though."

Brian's rolls his eyes as Fred's cackle fills the room. You slap the sketchpad closed and return it to it's spot next to your school bag. A sympathetic look is aimed towards your model. 

"Come on you two, lighten up. How about a game of Scrabble, hmm?"

"It is getting a little late, Fred, and Brian has to get back to his place."

"He knows he's welcome to crash on the couch if he wants."

The man in question looks between you two, biting his lip in thought.

"I wouldn't mind crashing here tonight. I'm sure Roger wouldn't mind the flat to himself."

"Then it's settled. You old ladies get your food out of the kitchen and we start this game."

What wasn't expected was Brian winning with such a lead. You could've sworn you've seen Fred's eyes glow red as he told the curly haired man to get out of his home for disrepecting him that severely. He went to bed infuriated as he left you two out in the living room to watch TV. 

"You sure you want to spend the rest of your Friday night here?"

"It's technically Saturday morning now."

"Smart ass."

He smiles and slowly leans towards you on the sofa, his warmth sneaking up the arm closest to him. 

"Hey Bri?"

He hums in response, eyes not leaving the program painting the screen.

"I never really properly thanked you for helping me with my assignment. You honestly saved my grade modeling for me."

He turns his head to face you, eyes looking at yours illuminated by the screen's light.

"You're more than welcome, love. It was interesting watching you work. You have this little face you make when you're really concentrated."

"Where I don't blink and my mouth is partially open? That's my focusing amphibian look."

He chuckles.

"Roger does the same thing but that's his confused look."

"I thought his confused face was this.."

You imitate the face you've seen many times during your homework sessions with the boys. Also when he tries to understand what Fred wants to do add extra flair to shows or songs.

"No, you're right. That's the one." He laughs. 

Comfortable silence floats around the air as you two continue watching telly. Thirty meants turn into 90 as the episodes of various shows play before you. Slight comments here and there said but it wasn't until Brian laid his head on top of your head that something was really spoken. 

"I have a question."

"Care to share with the class, May?"

You can feel his cheeks stretch out with a slight smile.

"Would you think less of me if I put my studies on hold when, or even if the band gets bigger? I know we only have one album out at the minute but I've thought about it and..."

Patting his knee, you spoke.

"I could never think less of you for persuing something like that. You and the guys have worked your asses off and if, no, when your hardwork pays off, grab those opportunities. You earned any success that comes your way."

He moves his head to look directly into your eyes.

"Knowing you, you'll eventually get your PhD but sometimes life throws you a curveball and you have to just roll with what it gives you. If it's Queen, then see it through."

Surprise washes over you as he gives you a hug, enveloping you in his arms tightly as his face creates a home in the crook of your neck. This breath along your skin giving away to goosebumps. 

"I've been thinking about this for weeks and um...."

"Did you already drop out, Bri?"

"No, no..."

"Uh huh..." You narrow your eyes at him.

"Seriously, Y/N, I haven't dropped out of uni. I've been thinking about...."

You pull away and look at his eyes directly, cheeks flushed even in the low light of the living room. 

"What is it?"

He sighs, looking down at his lap.

"You."

Eyes going wide, you look at anything but him. The stray floaty in the air, the reflection of light as a car drives past your flat, the one stray strand of yarn or whatever it is sticking out of the rug on the floor. 

"I'm not saying this because you drew me naked and I'm feeling obligated to but tonight made me realize something."

Your eyes finally focusing on your hands, fingernails picking at cuticles. 

"If this does become something larger than life, I don't want to leave you behind. When Freddie introduced us to you last year, there was something about you I couldn't shake off. I wasn't sure what it was the chalk pastel dust you were covered in or something else."

You smile at his words but your heart doesn't lighten up the speed at the rate it's beating. When it comes loose, it's going to skyrocket across the English channel.

"But now actually getting to know you over time and tonight made me come to the conclusion that....I certainly have feelings for you and I don't know what you want to do with that information."

Your fingers stop picking at a loose bit of skin on the side of your nail and you swear your heart just stopped in your chest. Eyes wide, you stare at him. Mouth agape, not knowing what to say other than just "Bri..."

"I can see I made you uncomfortable, I'm sorry. Maybe I should head ho-"

As he begins to stand up, you grab his wrist and pull him right back down towards your side. 

"Meeting you was one of the most profound days in my life, Bri. You...fuck,...I'm not a wordsmith and I'm nervous as all hell right now."

He smiles ever so slightly but his leg bounces with such vigor you wouldn't be surprised if your downstairs neighbor complained to the landlord tomorrow.

"And now hearing you may have feelings for me? Like...how do I even process this when it's something I've been wanting to hear for almost a year?"

It's now his turn for his eyes to buldge open in shock.

"When you first talked to me about astrophysics and I saw your entire demeanor light up with such passion, my heart damn near stopped. I couldn't focus on anything else but you. Even when you're just relaxed I feel like that. You're breathtaking and I'm pretty sure I went comotose and had a lucid dream seeing you perform with the boys for the first time."

He smiles, eyes looking directly into yours as your mouth just vomits out any word you promised to never let out.

"I've fallen for you so hard. I love your smile and laugh. I love the slope of your nose. I love that you've let your hair be curly because let's be real, you looked real questionable when you straightened it."

He laughs and you can tell his cheeks are heating up.

"I love that little noise you make when you find something interesting in your textbooks and your hums when you're thinking of a new song and your little eyerolls at the boys when they're being dumbasses and your sense of humor and just......fuck, look at you! You're so fucking handsome and that's even with the clogs!"

He grabs your hands, rubbing his thumbs against the knuckles. His smile shining so bright even with the low light from the television that's now taken a backside seat of your conversation. He looks down at your entertwined hands.

"Calling you a friend and wanting to see you has gotten me out of bed so many days Y/N, I've lost count. I can't even imagine if you'd be more than a friend to me but I guess we can find out."

Your smile has extended to lengths you didn't know possible. Letting go of his hands, you wrap your arms around him instead.

"I forgot to say this, but I also love your hugs."

A chuckle escapes his chest and he holds you tighter, a kiss lands on your cheek. Time goes by as shows flash before your eyes, eventually leading to you falling asleep in his arms with him not too far behind.

*** Hours pass before you awake, head laying on his lap and knees tucked in. Sitting up, you find him using the arm rest as his pillow, arms crossed underneath his face. He looks so peaceful and you don't want to take him up but you want to sleep in your bed. 

Dare you ask if he wants to join you?

It'll just be us sleeping together in the same bed and maybe cuddles...?

You brush his curls away from his face, tucking what you can behind his ear as you shake him gently. 

"Hey Brian..?"

He doesn't stir, contemplating on just his carrying his lanky ass to your room. 

"Bri.. wake up, hon. Come on."

You continue rubbing his upper arm until he stirs awake, opening his eyes and squinting at the screen's light.

"...What time is it?"

"Late. Would you want to sleep on the couch or my bed?"

"I'm fine out here, I don't want to take your bed from you."

You smile and chuckly slightly.

"I mean share the bed with me."

He smiles at the idea but eyes are shy.

"I'd like that."

You two stand up, him shutting up the TV and you leading the way to your room with his hand in yours. Navigating the small hallway at night lead to him bumping into you twice, and him saying apologies but you could not care less.

Once in your room and switching on the light, he's greeted to your own personal space. He can see canvases with studio projects painted on them under your bed, posters littering your walls. Some local band shows you've attended, a Queen one catching his interest. His eyes also catch your Beatles poster, the one from their White Album. He also sees the pillow he used earlier that day when he was modeling along with the robe tossed into the corner with the rest of your dirty laundry.

"I think I might have a pair of pants you could wear unless you're not a pants to bed kind of guy."

"No pants is what I normally go for but if you're uncomfortable with that I ca-"

"It's fine with me, just no funny business, May."

"Are cuddles out of the equation?"

"I sure as hell hope not."

He smiles and removes his necklaces, placing them next to your sketchbooks on top of the small desk next to the bed. You change into sleep shorts as he takes his trousers off. 

Never thought I'd see that twice today.

Shutting off the light and climbing into bed, he goes first, leaving you in your usual spot. Fluffing up the pillows and adjusting the blankets now done, He wraps you in his arms almost immediately, lips kissing your cheek gently.

"You have enough pillows, Bri?"

"Yes. Thank you, love."

"Want me to grab another blanket?"

He laughs gently, kissing your face one last time.

"I'm more than okay."

You turn around to face him head on, able to make out where his eyes are looking. Fingers playing with one curl, eventually leading to caressing the side of his face. Thumb tracing over one of his cheekbones.

"You're so handsome, Bri."

"Ever look at yourself?"

"Do you always kiss ass?"

"Not until the 3rd date."

You slap his arm, laughing.

"I guess with that comment I won't give you a kiss goodnight."

His face contorts in fake hurt. It's wiped off as soon as you bring your lips to his, fingers gently caressing his jaw as you kiss him. Almost as fast as it happened, it stopped. Smiles painting both your faces.

"Goodnight Y/N."

"Goodnight Bri."

Turning back around, you scoot closer to him. Arms around your waist and face tucked near your shoulder, you two fall asleep. 

*** You wake up before him. His arms are still wrapped around your middle and your legs entangled with one anothers. Your bladder urging you out of the warm confines of your bed, you carefully move out of his grasp to not awake him. Mission was successful as you close the door behind you, hearing Freddie in the kitchen as you walk to the bathroom. After giving yourself a pep talk while washing you hands, you face your roommate, face giving you a smirk.

"Y/N....I saw his god awful shoes by the door but he wasn't on the couch. Please tell me the details, darling!"

"Nothing really happened, Fred! We ended up talking after you went to bed and he sort of told me he had feelings for me and we passed out on the couch."

"He finally told you? About fucking time! You have no idea how much Roger got on his case. Even Deaky was begging him to shut up and ask you out. 'Oh how is Y/N doing? Is she free sometime soon, Fred? What should I get her for Christmas? What does she like? Do you think she likes me?'....every practice Y/N..every practice."

"At least I finally got around to it, Freddie."

He wrapped his arms around you, voice heavy with sleep.

"Now I get to annoy you about her even more now that we're dating."

Brian kisses your neck as Freddie pinches the bridge of his nose.

"Please don't subject us to that. We've suffered enough, dear."

***

aaaay, it’s done! Tbh, I got the idea for this fic after looking through some of my life drawing sketches. Also, a tip with charcoal or chalk pastel drawings from an art student...use hair spray. It’s cheaper than fixitive spray, works just as well, doesn’t affect the colors in chalk pastels, and doesn’t harm your lungs with the fumes (not nearly as badly, anyway). Besides that, thank you so much for reading, liking, reblogging, etc 💖💖

[buckyscrystalqueen]

Meant To Be: Part 5

Pairings: Machine Gun Kelly x Reader

Warnings: Swearing, drug use.

Word Count: 4,072

A/N: Y’all can thank @wings-of-a-raven for this one….

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So… you’re just going back, then.”

“Damn it.” You groaned as you shoved the last of your clothes back in a box to ship them back to Los Angeles. “She called in the cavalry.” You glanced over at Colson, who was standing in the nursery that could strangely only be accessed through your room, before looking back to the door where your father was leaning against the door frame.

“Do you really think that’s a good idea, (Y/N)?” He asked. “Going back to him?”

“Excuse me?” You asked as you turned completely toward him. “Do I think it’s a good idea to go to LA to live with the father of my child? Is that what you’re asking me right now?”

“Yes, that’s what I’m asking you.” He said with a slow nod. “He wasn’t there for you, (Y/N). What makes you think he’s going to be there now?”

“Think the better question here would be where were you?” Colson asked softly as he carried a box full of toys out of the nursery to add to the stack that was temporarily destined for the small moving pod that was sitting in the driveway to be taken to his house the next day. “Because I left to save her and had I known about my son, that gap of time would’a been a lot shorter.” Your dad shut up relatively quickly since he hadn’t realized that your significant other was in the room as well, and Kels simply walked back into the nursery to finish packing.

“He’s got a point, you know.” You sighed as you grabbed another one of the rented plastic totes from the stack and set it on your bed to pack up the stack of laundry and photos off of your mom’s dresser (since yours was in a storage unit out in California.) “I love you, Dad but you turned your back on me when I got fucked up at your wedding. Mom when I dropped out, and Junior and Tabby did when I moved. The only person I’ve had by my side in the last ten years is Colson.”

“And who’s choice was that, (Y/N)? Huh?” Ross asked, harshly. “I don’t think you get it yet. Your actions are the reason we aren’t there…”

“No, you are the reason!” Colson shouted as he came out of the room, which startled Gage in his baby swing, and made him start to cry. “You’re her fucking father! The man that should have been by her fucking side no matter what!”

“Babe.” You tried as you picked up Gage to soothe him.

“What kinda man just abandons his fucking kid when she fucks up?”

“Baby…”

“She needed you, old man!” He roared as he stepped toward your father and you quickly stepped between the two men and put your hand on his chest.

“Colson, look at me. Hey…” You gave him a firm push, which didn’t move him far, but it was enough to get his attention. He huffed and put one of his hands on yours on his chest as the other went to your hip to pull you back a step away from your dad.

“And this is the kinda man you want to be around? This violent thug?”

“Fuck you, dick!”

“Colson! Walk it off!” You growled as you moved your hand and grabbed his chin. You yanked hard, and guided his eyes to his own crying son. “Take him, please. We have a flight to catch and we have to get this shit out to the storage box before we go. And I can’t do that shit by myself if you’re making our son cry when he should be napping.”

“You’re right.” He said as he physically relaxed in the safety of the nursery. “You and your fucking Jedi mind shit.”

“Just take your son, please.” You sighed with a smirk. “I have to cover your slack now, too.”

“Jesus, bitch! Ain’t that fucking hard to be a mom.” He teased as he quickly stepped out of your reach.

“Fucker!” You barked as you kicked him hard in the butt cheek. “Get him back to sleep. I’m gunna carry this stack up.” You paused in the doorway and looked at your father with your eyebrow raised. “What? It surprises you that the tattooed, piece of shit thug is that passionate about me when my own family only cares when my son got involved?” You gave him a tight lipped smile and nodded your head as you picked up two boxes and stood in front of your dad until he moved. 

“He’s my family.” You said to him as you stoped by his side for a moment longer. “And I love him. So yes, I’m going with him to California, then I think somewhere overseas for his tour. Not sure. But I’ll be… we will be with him as a family. One that doesn’t turn their backs on loved ones no matter what.” With a slight bob of your head goodbye, you turned and headed toward the stairs to finally finish packing the POD so you could catch your flight.

——

You weren’t exactly sure how you forgot the insanity, but when Gage’s bedtime came and went, and the party was still raging down stairs, you quickly realized that raising a child in Colson’s house was going to be a very difficult challenge. You didn’t want to be ‘that bitch’ that came in and tried to change his lifestyle but the later it got and the more Gage cried, the more pissed off you were. You were at least glad that Kels had a small balcony off his master bedroom, which helped damper the sound, but even so, Gage would not fall asleep. Which is exactly why you found yourself, sitting on a slightly broken lounge chair, with your six month old laying on your chest, watching the Wiggles on the baby channel on your phone at three in the morning.

“Stupid fucking Wiggles.” You grumbled softly under your breath as your son laid peacefully, mesmerized by the bright colors on the screen. “Shit’s like a bad fuckin’ acid trip. Who the fuck though this was a good idea anyways? Should be fucking banned…” Your words were cut off by the deafening rumble of a chainsaw, which made you lurch to your feet.

“Oh no!” You shouted as you ran through the house with Gage once again screaming in your ear since either the sound, or your quick movement startled him. Your heart raced in your chest because you knew, at this late hour, there were enough drugs and alcohol involved in this situation to kill an elephant and that someone was gunna get seriously hurt with that chainsaw. 

“Colson!” You roared as you ripped open the front door and moved Gage to your hip. Your boyfriend whipped around to look at you with wide, panicked eyes as he let the chainsaw in his hand putter to a stop. You shook your head and hiked your son up a little bit more as words escaped you. ‘No’ was all you managed to say before you turned around and slammed the front door behind you. You started all over again with calming your son down as you headed back upstairs, and the front door opened a few moments before you slammed the bedroom door closed behind you.

“OK.” You soothed as you laid Gage down in your arms and started to bounce him gently to calm him down again. “I know, baby boy. Mommy’s not happy either.”

“Babe.” Colson said softly as he came into the room, which made you instantly round on him with rage in your eyes.

“Are you out of your fucking mind?!” You screamed as you continued to bounce. “A fucking chainsaw?! Colson, you are so fucking high, I don’t even think you could tell me what Gage’s middle name is…”

“Michael.” He interrupted, daringly as he closed the bedroom door.

“DON’T YOU FUCKING DARE!” You screamed as you set Gage down in his rocker. “It’s three in the Goddamn morning and your son has been up here screaming for HOURS! So don’t you dare think you can get smart with me right now!”

“Yo, I’m…”

“I don’t wanna fucking hear it!” You countered over him as you stuck your finger in his face, angrily. “You are the one that wanted us here. You are the one that wanted to be a fucking father. So fucking act like a fucking father and let your Goddamn son go to fucking bed already! He’s exhausted from the time change, I’m exhausted from listening to him scream, and you’re downstairs snorting coke like it’s the fucking 80’s again. Get your fucking shit together, Kels.” You slammed your finger into his chest so hard, you heard your knuckle crack and he reached out and quickly grabbed your wrist before you could turn away.

“OK.” He said simply with a nod of his head, knowing that this was not the time to piss you off because you would swing on him. “My bad. I’ll wrap it up and come help get him to sleep. I’m sorry, baby girl.”

“You fucking better be.” You barked as you ripped your arm out of his grip and went back to pick up your son. “Goddamn chainsaw. It’s three in the fucking morning and you dumb mother fuckers are running a fucking chainsaw. Fucking idiots.” Kels watched you step back onto the patio with a shake of your head, and after a moment, he turned and quickly headed down stairs.

“Yo, parties over.” He called out as he turned down the music.

“The fuck?!”

“Dude, you just got back…”

“Yea, and I got a screamin’ son and a pissed off baby mama upstairs that need to get some sleep. So keep your shit down because I don’t feel like getting fucking stabbed tonight.”

“Dude.” Baze laughed as he poured himself another drink. “When’d you get fucking whipped?”

“When I had a fucking kid, dog.” Colson snapped as he grabbed two beers from the fridge in hopes that they would be a good start of a peace offering. “When I became a fucking parent. That’s when I got fucking whipped.” With a shake of his head, he grabbed some weed from the bag the counter and headed out of the kitchen to calm you down. “And keep the fucking music down!” He called out over his shoulder as he climbed the stairs. He slipped into the room as silently as he could and cringed when he heard Gage still whimpering on the patio.

“Here, baby girl.” He tried as he set the beers and the bud down on the bed on his way outside. “Give him here. Go smoke…”

“Why do you do this to me, Colson?” You asked as you turned around toward him with tears in your eyes. “Huh? Why do you constantly make me the bad guy?”

“Babe, it’s not like that.” He sighed as he gently took Gage from your arms.

“But it is.” You sighed as you walked past him. “Because I know the crew enough to know they called you pussy whipped for wanting to get my son to bed at a reasonable hour. I know that being up here to do something other than getting laid right now is the last thing you want to be doing when there’s at least a half dozen half naked skanks downstairs. And I also know that every minute for the last seven hours, I wanted to be down there partying it up with friends I haven’t really seen in a year…”

“So why didn’t you?”

“What and let him just scream up here all by himself?” You snapped as you flopped down on the bed and cracked open one of the beers. “What kind of mother would that have made me? And don’t you dare say you could have stayed up here with him because we both know you would have lost your shit.” With a heavy sigh, Colson sat down on the bed beside you and moved Gage to lay on his chest comfortably.

“I’m trying, (Y/N).” He said as he looked over at you with a small shake of his head. “I don’t know what I’m doing here.”

“And you think I do? Colson, I’m literally in the same boat as you here. But I can tell you this much for damn sure, we need to find a fucking medium because if night one of us being here was any fucking indication of what it’s gunna be like to live with you again, then I’m taking Gage and finding my own place again and we can figure out some kind of co-parenting shit.”

“No, please.” He said quickly as he sat up a little bit in fear. “Please, I just got you back…”

“Then fucking meet me in the middle here, Kels.” You interrupted as you gestured to the two of you with your finger. “Us as parents, and us as partiers. Because we can’t live on two different pages in the same house. I can’t be a mom and your booty call when you want it while you party it up with our friends. We’re gunna fucking resent each other for that shit real quick and it is gunna tear us apart.”

“And I swear baby girl, I will figure out how to do that ASAP. Just fucking bear with me, OK? I’ll get us there.”

“You better.” You sighed as you got up to grab his bowl from the entertainment center. “And no more Goddamn chainsaws, you hear me?”

“Don’t you wanna hear the idea…”

“No!” You interrupted as you grabbed the weed off the bed and stepped out onto the balcony. “Shit was probably stupid as fuck.”

“It really was.” He chuckled as he laid back down with Gage on his chest so he could sooth him to sleep. “But it was funny as fuck all the same.”

——

“Hey (Y/N).” Colson said as softly as he could as he kneeled on the bed beside you and ran his fingertips through your hair. You growled at him for waking you up just a few hours after you went to bed and pulled the blanket up over your head.

“Unless you or Gage is dying, you better get the fuck away from me, Colson or I will fucking stab you again.”

“No one is dying.” He chuckled as he very carefully pulled the blanket back. “But you, me, and Gage are gunna go to a hotel for a couple days. I have a surprise but it’s gunna keep you and him up for a couple days…”

“I fucking hate you.” You groaned as you opened your eyes to look up at him. “What’s the surprise?” 

“If I told you, it wouldn’t be a surprise. Come on. I already packed us up a bag, and fed and changed Gage. Just gotta get you dressed.”

“I’m dressed enough.” You sighed as you sat up and rubbed your hand down your face. You glanced down at the ‘Bloom’ shirt that showed most of your tattooed side thanks to the sleeves and most of the under arm holes being cut out, and nodded. “Fuck it, I’m in LA.”

“OK, you at least need pants.” He laughed as he handed you the pair of jeans he had grabbed from your suitcase. “And shoes.”

“Wait, you’re telling me you heated up a bottle all by yourself?” You asked incredulously as you pulled on your jeans and looked at your tired little boy in his crib from your storage unit in the corner.

“Without the microwave, too.” He said proudly as he held out your sunglasses. “Come on, it’s gunna get really loud in here real soon.” With a heavy sigh, you went over to pick up Gage as Colson grabbed your bag and the car seat. You headed out of the room and nearly tripped over Rook, who was coming out of his bedroom with a large pile of his clothes in his arms.

“Where are you going?”

“Keep walkin’, Uber’s waitin’.” Colson said behind you as JP continued down the hall in front of you. You sighed and did what you were told, too tired to care anymore. You were beyond grateful that he picked a hotel close by and had pulled some strings to get a quiet room, because by the time you got into said room, you had just enough time to pull off your jeans, and put Gage down on the bed beside you before you were back asleep. He let you sleep for the better part of the day before he gently woke you up by running his finger down the bridge of your nose.

“Hey sunshine.” He cooed with a smile. “If you sleep any more, you’re not gunna be able to sleep tonight.” You whined and rolled over on to your back, startling the slightest bit when Gage was laid down on your chest. His giggle made a smile pull at the corner of your lips and you opened your eyes to see his blue eyes staring back at you.

“Well hi there handsome.” You cooed as you put your hands on his back to keep him from rolling off you. “Did you have a fun day with Daddy?”

“We went down to the pool.” Colson said with a smile as he laid down against your side. “And we went swimming for a little bit. Then we went to the atrium and looked at all the plants… and we took some pictures for Mommy and let Mommy catch up on sleep because Daddy’s a fuck head.”

“Daddy is a fuck head.” You giggled as you tilted your head to the side a bit to look at Gage’s new hair style. “And giving out free mohawks?”

“Well I knew you would be pissed if I cut it and he was starting to look a little androgynous…”

“Ooo, big word.”

“Fuck you.” He grumbled as he reached up and fixed the ‘hawk. “So I made my son look bad ass.”

“I would have killed you if you cut his hair.” You said with a small nod as you looked over at him. “But I’m digging the mohawk.”

“It’s fucking bad ass.” He chuckled with a smile. “We’re gunna have to get special EST shit for him since 19 doesn’t work.”

“We both need new tattoos.” You said with a nod as you poked the 19XX tattoo on his collarbone that matched the one across your hip bone. “Fuck, now I want a new tattoo.”

“We should get matching tats for Gage.”

“What the fucking six we already have ain’t enough for you?”

“Bitch.” He groaned as he flicked you in the temple. “Keep that shit up and I’ll call the sitter back and you can order fucking pizza for dinner of some shit.”

“What sitter?” You snapped as you looked over at him with your eyebrow raised. “I’m not leaving him…”

“Relax.” He said as he propped his head up on his fist. “I called Ashleigh. She’s got a niece and she used to baby sit when she was younger all the fucking time. I trust her not to fuck up our kid.”

“Colson, that in no fucking way, shape, or form reassures me.”

“Oh fucking suck it up.” He laughed as he pushed himself up. “We’re going up the fucking block to dinner to get on the same fucking page about shit, OK? Now get your ass up, get into that smokin hot black dress that makes that ass look so fucking good, and let’s go fucking eat some fucking steak like a couple’a sexy carnivores.”

“I’m not going.” You said with a shake of your head as you held Gage to your chest a little tighter.

“Yes… you are.” Colson said, simply as he came over and picked up his son. “Hey, little man. You gunna stay with Ash tonight so Daddy can smooth talk Mommy into his pants again?”

“Richard Colson Baker!” You snapped as you got out of bed and whipped around to look at him. “No sexcapades talk to the baby!”

“Oh, Daddy’s getting lucky tonight.”

——

“Kels! Kels, over here!”

“(Y/N)! Are you finally going back to Penthouse?”

“Where’s your son?”

“Here, baby. Over here.” Colson said softly as he let go of your hand and put it on the small of your back. “Guys! Can you fuckin’ move and let her walk, please?!” You stuttered a bit and stopped walking when someone with a giant camera stopped at the curb in front of you.

“Guys, please?” You asked as you put your hand up in front of your face to shield your eyes from the camera flashes to look for the town car that was supposed to be picking you up.

“Yo, fucking move!” Kels roared as the camera people kept taking their photos and not giving a damn about either of your privacy as they fought to get one of the first photos of you and Colson out in public together. Your hand flew out to catch his fist before he swung on the man with the camera in your face.

“I won’t ask you again.” You growled evenly as you stepped around the photographer.

“Babe!” Colson shouted as he grabbed your arm and yanked you back on the sidewalk as the car came screeching to a stop where you had just been standing and only a few inches away from the man with the camera. You stumbled into his chest and the paparazzi actually stopped taking pictures for a moments. “Go, go.” Colson said quickly as he ran in front of you and ripped open the back door of the car. You sprinted on your toes in your heels and ducked around him into the car at the same moment the photographers started to take their photos again.

“Drive!” You said as Kels slammed the door behind himself. “Just drive!” You ducked your head below the seat and realized that you were actually panting to catch your breath as Colson whipped around and cupped your face in his hands.

“Holy fuck… are you OK? Jesus, come here.” You shook your head as he pulled you into his arms with a heavy sigh. “Fuck, that fucking car was right there.”

“I’m fine.” You sighed as you sat up and flipped your hair back. “Jesus, Colson. I said yes to dinner, not to being fucking mauled.”

“OK, are you at least fucking OK? Scared the fucking shit outta me.”

“How the fuck did they even know we were staying at a fucking hotel?”

“Because I was down in the fucking lobby with Gage.” Colson sighed as he leaned back against his seat. He gave the driver the address of the restaurant and huffed as he looked over at you with a smile. “At least you look hot.”

“You’re an asshole.” You laughed as you pulled your phone from your bag to check your hair and makeup. “Knew I should have stayed in bed with my son.”

“Wrong. You get to party it up with me instead starting right now. Yay!” You looked over at him and did a double take as he shook a small vial of coke between his fingers.

“Wait, you’re serious?” You hissed as you glanced up at your man.

“You quit breastfeeding just this week.” He said as he unscrewed the vial. “And I want my party girl back. Even if it is for one night.” You bit your cheeks to hide your smirk as he poured out a bump on his hand and held it out between the two of you. “Come on, baby. Fly with me.”

“You are a very, very bad influence.” You whispered as you carefully pulled his hand up a bit to snort the coke down. You shivered at the distantly familiar burn and sniffled as you sat up straight. “Bad influence, Colson. So, so bad.”

“How the fuck else did we get Gage?” He teased as he did a bump himself before pouring one more out for you. “Quick, we’re here.”

“Horrible.” You muttered as you did the last bump. “Fuck, that’s good shit.”

“Welcome home, baby girl.” Colson said as he slid the vial into the nice leather jacket he had on. “Welcome home.”

Part 6

[hypnotica-ships]

3x3

So, thanks to some A+++ enabling from the discord server, I've decided to post my BNHA self insert fanfic. I haven't really talked about my insert, but I plan to sometime in the future, but for now I"ll leave ya'll in the dark.

This whole thing was made just to make me and my friends feel good and give us some much needed self indulgence.

Word Count- 1,550

Hypnotica- My S/I

Grafight- @fictional-characters-are-hot's S/I

Slasher- @alwayslovestruck's S/I

It's been 3 hours.

4 hours since the hero team Discorded was asked to help out with a capturing some drug smugglers.

3 1/2 hours since they found the drug den.

3 hours since Hypnotica sent in Grafight and Slasher to covertly search the place.

3 hours since he's heard a response.

It was a loud, shrill scream that made his blood go cold. Expecting the worst, he decided to find some loiters and use his quirk to get some backup.

After being only able to scour up 2 shadows for his mask alts to posses, he realized the longer he spends time looking for people, the more harm could come to his friends...*family*. Dolly, taking the form of a Harpy, and Dylan taking a shape of a Lion man, will have to do for backup. Hoping that it won't be needed, he finds an open window and heads into the den.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Look! They're opening the crates. That must be how they ship the quirk enhancing drugs."

"Slasher. I can't see shit, it's too dark in here and I don't have dope cat eyes like yo-....wait a sec..."

The younger of the heroes takes out a sketch book and quickly draws our some night vision binoculars and they suddenly 'pop' out into a physical object. After giving a thumbs up, in order to stay quite, Grafight uses the goggles.

"Oh shiiiiiiiiiiiiit....that's a lot of powder. How the hell do they sell it all?"

Slasher just shrugs it off and continues watching the group of men, tail swaying as they do.

All of a sudden, all of the men stop moving. A few moments later they all turn to the gurder that the hero duo were perched on.

"Hey! Lookey here fellas, some new 'test subjects' to try the new mix on."

"Oh as if you'd even come close to touching us! You won't even get a chance to lay a finger on us. Right Grafight?"

"Right! Good luck fuckers!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Slasher! Grafight! What's going o-...."

"We won!'

Hypnotica was greeted by the sight of Slasher triumphantly standing with one foot on top of a human mound of passed out thugs while Grafight was looking over the crate of drugs, kicking one of the thugs that started move on the ground.

"Wha- Then who the hell screamed?!"

Grafight, grabbing the thug she kicked by his collar and threatening to punch him again.

"This guy did. I think he's like...the kingpin or something. Screams like a little bitch though."

"We managed to take these guys out super easily, like it was nothing! Can't believe they were talkin' smack like they could beat us..."

Still a bit shaken up from his worry, Hypnotica headed over to check out the crate. Noticing a strange metal box buried slightly underneath some of the drugs, he pulls it out and begins to question the kingpin about it.

"This your tracker? Is this the thing that you use to keep an eye on your 'supplies'?"

"You better answer. Grafight is pretty liberal with bodily harm."

Slasher says as she walks over to look at the box better, poking it with one of her claws.

"...it....it...he.....hehaha..."

"Punching time?" Grafight asks looking up at Hypnotica.

"Not yet. He needs to be conscious to answer our questions."

"Talk then, asshat."

"...doesn't matter....we....we were gunna..."

"Gunna what, idiot?!"

"d....die...die anways..."

"...Punch him Grafight."

Hypnotica grumbles while Dolly pried open the box with her talons.

"Gladly!"

"...I don't think he meant, like, *80 times Grafight...*"

Slasher now worriedly watches as the kingpin get's absolutely destroyed by fists.

"..."

Hypnotica seems frozen as he looks down at the box, unmoving, and holding his breath. Cocking her head, Slasher notices that somethings wrong with him.

"Hey....you alright big bro?"

"..."

Finally stopping her onslaught on the kingpin, Grafight looks over to Hypnotica.

"Cat got your tongue or something?"

Still not saying a word, Hypnotica turns the box so the others can see. In the box is a small glowing green tube with wires attached to it, there's also a countdown screen slightly below it. It's only got 3 seconds left on it.

As her tail drops, so does her heart, with only a few second to accept her fate Slasher meekly gasps as she starts to speak.

'Oh..'

'Shit'

Grafight finishes Slasher's thought, right before everything goes white.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Sirens are blaring as the green mist clears from the rubble of what's left of the warehouse. Various bodies are strewn all about, policemen and EMTs were able to arrive on the scene fairly quickly. Not that it mattered, the damage was done. From the looks of everything, there was no survivors, all thugs and kingpin were either crushed by the rubble or suffered from some strange type of asphyxiation. Death seemed to encompass the area, until one of the EMTs discovered a lion like shadowy figure seemingly protecting a group of still breathing bodies. The figure soon dissipated leaving a strange mask in it's place.

The bodies were still alive, but barely, and they needed medical attention and fast.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"-Sources say that the 'hero' team were incapable of apprehending the group and had to resort to extreme measures to stop the-"

"Horseshit! Why would we set off a bomb? We had it covered already, it wouldn't kill them to get their facts straight..."

"Calm down Gummybear, the doc said you shouldn't strain yourself..."

It's been 4 days since Grafight was released from the hospital, suffering from 2 broken arms, rendering her unable to use her quirk...among other things. Fatgum, her partner, had insisted to stay by her side until things healed, neglecting his own hero duties in the process.

"The doc can shove it as far I care! These newscasters have no right to spew out garbage lies like that! It's gunna hurt our rep.... Sure we might not be the nicest, safest, smartest heroes in the game, but we aren't villainous either!"

"...You...you do have a point, but don't worry about it, I"m sure one of the others will give them a piece of their mind and sort things out. Right now you and I have dinner to eat!"

Grumbling as she rose from the couch, Grafight followed her partner to the kitchen, sitting down at the small round dinning table that the family usually shared. This dinner was different though. The table had a nice white satin cloth draped over it, with 2 light candles on top. It seemed that this time these two will be dinning alone.

"Take a seat baby, I'll go grab our meal."

"It better be something good, the meals at the hospital were utter shit..."

She lets her sentence trail on as a covered plate is placed ever so gently in front of her.

"Oh? Did you plan on surprising me? ....Babe, my arms, I can't open it."

"Yeah, my bad, here ya go my sweet Gummy."

Fatgum slowly removes the cover for maximum surprise effect. Once it's off, Grafight can't help but smiley widely as she notices one of her favorite meals, but with a culinary twist. Hotdogs sliced up into star shapes, surrounded by a circle of mashed potatoes, topped with melted cheese, a dash or salt, and a glob of ketchup in the middle of it all.

"So? Ya like?"

"..."

Grafight's eye's start to tear up, but her smile still stays plastered on her face. Fatgum notices right away and goes to quickly grab some tissues.

"Oh Gummy, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to upset you! I just...I just thought I could do something special for ya...I...I-"

"Oh baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaabe! I love it! Omg, I love it so much, you're the best, you know that right?"

"I...yeah....no. Wait. YOU'RE the best, you're so strong and special to me, I...I"m just so happy that I didn't lose you...you mean the universe to me."

"Stop...I'm already crying, let's just...let's just enjoy this meal together, okay?"

"Okay. I"m starving anyways..."

Fatgum takes his place across from Grafight, and starts to devour his meal.

"Uh....Ahem...."

"Oh! Yeah, my bad, let me help ya."

The two enjoy their meal together, never breaking their love filled eye contact.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Slow down Mochi, you shouldn't be over-exerting yourself."

"But Kano, I want to dance! I really like this song...cough cough...it's a total....total banger, and I deserve to have some.....fun after what happened. Everyone else has been so....gloomy since then....I just....want to bring some life.....back into the house is all...."

"I know, I know...but, you won't be able to do much joy-spreading if you can barely walk to the mailbox without getting winded halfway there."

"Hmph, stupid bomb chemicals getting.....getting into my lungs...fucking up my whole system...did they ever figure out what...what was in that tube...anyways?"

"They still haven't called us back about the results yet, but they said the inhaler they gave you was working well enough for us not to worry. So we won't, right Mochi?"

"...Yeah...I guess...I just hate...feeling weak like this...I wanna cry but.... I don't want the others to...to see....they've been through enough....I don't wan them to worry about me...me too..."

Kano takes a moment to think, after a moment he takes Slasher's paw and leads her into the living room.

"Sweety...what are you doing?"

After he gets Slasher to relax on the couch, he walks over the Hypnotica's advance sound system and grabs a homemade looking CD. Putting it in he looks to Slasher.

"The good doctor said YOU shouldn't exert yourself, but....he never said anything about me."

As soon as the music starts, Kano begins to dance in a way that's all to familiar to Slasher. It's a dance they've grown to call the 'Humpty Dance', and no one else in the house can quite get it right like these two.

"Oh Kano! This....this makes me so....happy! Keep...keep going! Maybe...maybe you could...put in some...Slipknot next? Pwetty Pwease?"

"Anything for you my Mochi."

Slasher enjoys the show Kano puts on for almost 2 hours, by the time he gets done, Kano is just about as winded as Slasher has been recently. The two then cuddle on the couch, just taking in each other's slow and labored breathes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"You will most certainly not."

Sir Nighteye slams his hand down on the counter to emphasize his point, making Hypntoica jump a little.

"And why the fuck not? The need to get their facts straight. I will not stand for all of this fucking slander."

Sir sighs and pushes his glasses up, trying to calm himself down.

"I understand that, but 'kidnapping the newsroom executive' is not the most ideal way to go about it. You can barely walk, even with the crutches!"

Motioning to Hypnotica's broken left leg, and the sprain in his other. Hypnotica just huffs and looks off to the side, still with an angered expression plastered on his face.

"So. Fucking. What? Okay, maybe kidnapping is a bit extreme, but..."

Sir's own angry expression starts to soften as he notices the tears that begin to fall from his partner's face. Wondering how long he's been holding it in.

"...I can't let my family take the blame for a stupid mistake that I made!"

Hypnotica's body begins to shudder as more tears fall, Sir walks over to him and embraces him in a way to try to calm him down.

"It's not your fault...all of you did what you could to try and handle the situation."

"That doesn't excuse all of the death and destruction that happened, and not to mention all the hurt my family is going through because of it!"

"No. It doesn't. But how is any of that your doing, hmm?"

"...I...I..."

"Shh, just stay, and relax. I'll make up a fully detailed report and send out a few copies to some of the stations. They'll most likely use those facts since my name does carry some weight..."

While still holding him with his right hand, Sir uses his left to tilt Hypnotica's chin up to meet his eyes. After a few seconds go by, he rests his head on his partner's.

"...Trust me dear. Everything will turn out just fine."

"Promise?"

"I promise. I saw it."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"A trusted source, who has decided to stay anonymous, has confirmed that the deaths in the Discorded Warehouse accident were not the before mentioned teams fault, but the fault of-"

"Thank you! Finally, a news channel that checks their facts. Even though I'm fine with a few deaths under my belt, but whatever I guess."

"Oh! Look Gummy! That's me! Saving all of those orphans was quite the task, I'll have to tell you all about it later."

"Kano my love! Let me help you with those dishes, there is far to many for one man to clean."

"Thank you Mochi! I kinda went all out with the meal this time, it was a celebration for everyone recovering so quickly....well, mostly everyone..."

"I call bullshit. Of course right after I get healed I trip down the stairs and end up right back to square one."

"Guess that means I'll have play nurse bit longer my dear."

~~*Cue Laugh Track*~~

[all-ringils-blazing]

Tag Games

I was tagged by my beloved @arnoediad in 2 tag games, wow thank you darling! ❤ This is the first one:

**RULES: Answer 21 questions  theres only 15, but whatever and then tag 21 people

Not gonna tag 21 people though I have a life guys who am I kidding I spend my free time in this site I just own a very lazy ass✌

Nicknames: Loutsos, Lou, Loulou, Luigi yeah I know

Zodiac: Scorpio

Height: 173 cm

Hogwarts House: Hufflepuff

Last thing googled: Candlemass Grammys 2020 

Do you get asks: No

Amount of sleep: 5 hours that bitch is gonna die

Lucky number: I always believed that my lucky number is my big brother’s day of birth or his year of birth etc but I just dont think so nah

What are you wearing: Pfff pervert.... Anyways, black sweater, gray leggings. I didnt leave my house today so I didnt dress up, just wearing house clothes.

Dream trip: Ireland❤ Yeah yeah I went to Ireland last year and it was a dream coming true. But obviously it wasnt enough, I need more. I wanna see everything in this enchanting beauty of a country aaaah😍 Also Scotland, Switzerland and Faroe Islands are some dreamy destinations too and yes I will go soon, nobody is gonna stop me, Ireland was only the beginning.  

Instruments: Classic guitar, not something great though but I’m trying Susan!

Languages: Greek, English, just a little bit of German who am I kidding once again lol I have forgotten anything German that was inside my head 9 years ago

Favorite Song(s): The 100th time I say it obviously I have not a specific fav song, it always depends on my mood and period of time. For example, lately I’m busy adoring Ozzy’s new song Under the Graveyard and this song from this band that I discovered recently, Wind Rose with Diggy Diggy Hole lol aren’t they the coolest? And obviously as a blues/jazz shitty fan I can’t stop listening to this masterpiece, I’m Gonna Love You by Fred James. And how can I forget the new Candlemass album and the song Astorolus-The Great Octopus? My sweet boys didn’t win that Grammy but who cares I love you guys !!! 😭 Oh yeah and the Witcher series osts like the kinky Yennefer’s Orgy Theme, Ragamuffin hmmmmm 😏 no seriously it helps me with studying heh. Also I have fallen in love with a Greek hard rock band which I enjoyed live one month ago, Noely Rayn. They have lovely songs, they give me so many feelings. Also released their 2nd album months ago. Some songs I deeply love are Remember Our Midnight,  Try to Survive and Bleeding from their new album. There are more but I have to shut up now I can talk about music till the world ends ok. (This answer kind of sums up that song game you adorable fucker @underworld-priest tagged me some days ago)

Random fact: Ehm I don’t know maybe that I chew my tongue like a gum when I am super dedicated to something I’m doing? It’s a creepy thing I didn’t realize until my 15 years when a friend asked me why I do that while we were solving some maths together.

Aesthetic: Uuum....Tho being a metalhead I was never into goth or extremely deadly dark side style/ aesthetic etc but Im more of a classic 80s rocker/metalhead aesthetic fan, generally a vintage and jazzy one. Magical as hell.   

And here is the 2nd one:

I have to answer with 3 random facts about me. Okeeeeey soooooo

1. My hair is the only thing of my appearance  that I always want to be on point like I never leave the house with bad hair and if it is (what can we do) a bad hair day I feel very fuckin uncomfortable all day.

2. Ehm I hate changes, Im a person that needs time to adjust and get used to a new situation so yeah I hate them.

3. Ehhhhh......Isara by Eluveitie always reminds me of my brother. 

Ooooof it’s really hard searching for facts about yourself no kidding here.

Behold peasants! Tags are coming! Gonna tag some new people too. Hello new neighbors !

@fresno-nightcrawler @the-white-frost @huffleppuffs @emptyskulls @emperor-draygon @theslumberofthebeast @mark0fcourage (Mate I adore your creepy clown avatar lol) @goatmars @princeimrahils @al-capwned @wholelottatiffy @underworld-priest @the-music-dork @ace-bi-says-hi @silent-calling @mochibat @harmonicstupidity @kittyinhighheels @killinguwithumbrellas @marias-wonderland @punk-courtesan @sophisticatedfangirling 

Omg look at all these tags I made it !!! I don’t have a life in the end.

[beabaseball]

this is a delirious 11pm post for Adults Only guys

Leave this space, child!

...

...

...

...y’all teenagers are going to be tweaked out of their goddamn minds.

Like, not necessarily in the drugged way, though some maybe yes in the drugged way, but like. Specifically in the non-drug way, they’re going to be snippy, and inattentive, and self centered. And that’s probably fine.

Like. Of course teens are self-centered, their bodies are doing weird shit for the first time and people keep making jokes they don’t understand yet, and some of these fuckers haven’t been given sex ed so they don’t even know what’s coming.

The younger teens have just emerged from the child form that has only just started being able to comprehend a larger world. In elementary school, sure I was reading time magazine for kids and we prayed for people who were being reported (religious school; recent tsunami, it happens) and when I was in 1st or 2nd grade we heard rumors that once upon a time women weren’t allowed to do the same stuff as men, but like— you can feel those things, but it’s not really something that you comprehend unless it’s right then a part of your life. I remember the first time I really ‘got’ sexism was in ninth grade in a gym class of 24 boys to 3 + me girls, and I wrote bad poetry about it in my phone for like three months trying to process it.

When I was like 16 our car broke down midway to school and we had to call my dorm parent to come drive me the next 5 mins, and so he’s in a bad mood bc he has to pick me up, and mom is in a bad mood bc car she gets a feeling dorm parent didn’t believe her when she said the car broke down, and it’s like 80 out but more importantly the humidity is a swamp, and I just remember being in his car driving the rest of the way to school and he’s complaining about sunburns bc he’s super pale and Irish, but he’s trying to talk so I kind of say “huh well i’ve never gotten a sunburn. I tan real fast and then go inside and I’m white again.”

and even in the moment I remember being like “that’s not really what he wanted to hear” and I think he even made a face, but I was too out of it and hot and tired to really do anything passed that. And I do feel kind of bad about it? Like, I did not mean to demean his pain of sunburns and I know also that at the time he was having A Rough Time with his marriage, to the point where he had us doing religious plays about parenthood for three seasons straight.

But also, I was a teenager. And looking back I can’t exactly blame my past self for just kinda... saying some words and feeling bad the rest of the car ride but also too tired to care. Theater teacher man wasn’t a bad guy; we were definitely not good at reading each other and he thought musicals sucked, but he also was the one who comforted me out of a panic attack when we had a tornado warning and I ended up convinced my daystudent friend was going to die.

Because that’s what I cared about at the time. Me-related things. Yes, tornado, but I am worried about one (1) person, and that mattered to me. I stayed behind when we got an actual sex-ed person in 7th grade because I was scared that reading yaoi would send me to hell. I had a breakdown in front of my history professor because one of my friends was discovering her gender identity and I was scared I was ‘losing her’ (you know the words!)

Now, someone comes out to me or someone doesn’t understand a term and I’m over here like “yea which definition u wanna use” but back then I was a kid and I had never experienced anything like this before, my hormones were wild—which didn’t mean I was horny and wanted boyfriend, it meant I was in constant fear of bleeding through things and every now and then I would wake up and my body would be in surprise unknowable pain (aka I was finally big enough to cut off my own circulation in my sleep and also growing pains)

Now, I’ve got a lot of that under control. When I wake up with a body in pain I usually know why and probably it is my fault actually. I know a bit better how to get through days when I’m too hot, or too groggy, or just dissociation or mad. (The trick is: say aloud, “sorry if I’m not responding much, I’m just really hot/groggy/out of it/still upset about that.” )

That’s not something a lot of teens have down yet. I saw a kid with a naruto shirt on at work once and I said “hey naruto” and he looked at me like he’d seen the face of god, he was so surprised someone knew what naruto was. To someone even MILDLY in my age range, the idea of not knowing who Naruto is is preposterous. But this was like, 12-15 year old at the most. Not hit his growth spurt yet. Just absolutely blindsided that there was an outside world which recognized something he liked, which I’m gonna wildly guess his parents probably aren’t into or don’t talk about it with him, because the thought of talking Naruto with your kid is horrifying.

Obviously, thinking other people don’t know about naruto is a similar kind of self-centered thought along the lines of “I bet thigh chick isn’t a REAL fan of x” or “EVERYONE has an opinion on me and there is no in between” where like the world... sort of revolves around you.

And like, once that person grows up if they keep that sort of self-focus, that’s usually the time you start trying to ditch them, but even older teens are still just coming out of that larval childhood state. They know a lot more about the world than we probably did at their age—I know a lot of them aren’t having the same existential crisis over their friends’ gender like I did, which is a big ol step— but there are still days that it’s going to be too much new shit to deal with, plus whatever else is happening inside them personally. And it’ll take a while to learn how to handle that.

In the meantime, they might be snappish, or out of it, or just kind of give up and have a ‘fuck it’ attitude sometimes, and it drives a lot of adults just goddamn insane it seems, according to all the mildly aggressive parents at work, trying to get kids who don’t want to be there to give the right reactions. It’s probably not even anything personal to the event that’s making them unhappy. One time I talked to a kid who was crying, and when I got her to tell me what was bothering her, it turned out that some people on her family reunion were mean to her. Nothing about the immediate ‘now’, just a lot of emotion that needed to go somewhere, and that somewhere ended up being crying, and it was not at all about respect or disrespect or anything related to us. Probably most of what was needed was to talk about it (success) and take a long nap.

The first time I remember having a meltdown with a ‘trigger’ like that, I was in 5th grade and my first assignment was something like “what did you do over summer” so I lost my entire shit and cried on the couch for an hour. Passed out, slept til 7, woke up and was fed soup, and have no idea if I finished that paper but presumably I did because I remember a nap and food working.

I would keep having these homework meltdowns periodically, and I don’t know when they stopped, but I had at least one, maybe two, in my first year of college.

And eventually I’ve just kinda.... stopped having them. Stress about a big project wasn’t something that bothered me anymore. You just did it one step at a time, and when you started thinking “maybe I’ll do it in the morning”, you immediately go to bed because you’ve already lost the fight and even if you don’t do it in the morning at least you won’t face it sleep deprived.

It takes time and living to get these experiences, and while one kid might not have the same issues with school work I had, maybe something else just knocks them on their ass every time (same) and it is just. Literally something you need to live through a couple times before you know how to deal with it. You can provide Blank Slate Alien Person with all the mental health tips and anecdotal advice and chamomile tea as you want, but the first couple times they face stress, none of those tips help if they don’t know how to implement them.

If you’ve ever assembled something by instructions and ended up building it upside down—it’s easier to build it again once you’ve gotten mad and undone it and started again. Because you’ve practiced. You already had the instructions, but now you have the experience of building it already, even if the result wasn’t the one you wanted.

Teens are learning a) how to read instructions, and b) that their assembly is probably upside down. and in the meantime, the world is also bonkers wild right now.

When they have that moment of rage, or giving up, or aloofness upon finding shit got built upside down— just. Let them.

You don’t have to ‘fix’ it or ‘fix’ them for having these emotions, or lack of them.

These are normal reactions. They make sense. All I’m asking is that we understand it’s going to happen. These emotions are going to happen.

Don’t let yourself justify being mean to kids and teens by telling yourself they’re being disrespectful. The world and their lives and emotions also don’t revolve around you. It’s not always a rebellion or reason to fight when things get too high strung to hold total control of.

That doesn’t mean ignore them. I was maybe 12 or 13, and it was 90 on a metal ship, and i was wearing an under shirt because i didn’t have a bra, so two layers of clothes on a hot metal ship, on my period— and all I remember is asking my dad to let us sit down and eat some lunch, because i was dizzy and dehydrated, and all he just kept saying we would do it once he saw the tour. I have no idea how long it was but I probably could’ve cried and been called moody or uncooperative.

Life is difficult. Especially for people who aren’t yet in control of their situations. Who are still bursting out with emotions they can’t otherwise articulate.

Be kind to that.

[lashydsdomain]

1-154. you wont

bitch

bet i will

1: Full name

lashy. das all you get

2: Age

19

3: 3 Fears

stairs, glass breaking, not being able to get ahold of someone

4: 3 things I love

my ocs uwu, my friends, my fucking tablet goddamn

5: 4 turns on

not comfy sharing on tumblr

6: 4 turns off

ill say ill come back to this one then leave this in the post

7: My best friend

rn i would say it’s probably blitztrolls

8: Sexual orientation

pan uwu

9: My best first date

ahh.... i havent had an in person first date still ;u;

10: How tall am I

5′5″

11: What do I miss

not being stressed eue;;;

12: What time were I born

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

13: Favourite color

pale blu

14: Do I have a crush

ye u//w//u

15: Favourite quote

you know these things are asked and my mind goes blank

16: Favourite place

the woods just after it’s rained

17: Favourite food

im a basic bitch and just gonna say mac n cheese

18: Do I use sarcasm

no absolutely not. nope.

19: What am I listening to right now

ambles playlist- it’s on ocean eyes by billie elish rn

20: First thing I notice in new person

prooooobably like. their face? typing style if it’s online

21: Shoe size

uhhhhhh i think like a womens 10?

22: Eye color

blue/green

23: Hair color

dark brown

24: Favourite style of clothing

loose and baggy because if i cant be comfortable what’s the point

25: Ever done a prank call?

HELL YEAH

27: Meaning behind my URL

lashyd was one of my first fantrolls and i liked the way it sounded

28: Favourite movie

mmmmm either labyrinth, princess mononoke or annihilation

29: Favourite song

no clue my friend im bad at picking

30: Favourite band

same as above sweats

31: How I feel right now

excited but tired

32: Someone I love

passivetrolls u//w//u/

33: My current relationship status

in a relationship!

34: My relationship with my parents

love my dad, kinda dislike my mom

35: Favourite holiday

christ mass

36: Tattoos and piercing i have

none, im so scared of needles ;u;

37: Tattoos and piercing i want

mmmmmaybe something stupid and simple on like my ankle?? i dunno what tho sweats

38: The reason I joined Tumblr

another fandom and i got bored with homeschooling lmao

39: Do I and my last ex hate each other?

i dislike them but they have tried to contact me a few times before i blocked them

40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?

not usually

41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted?

i dont text so ill go w discord and no i have not the last person i messaged was you shenk gdi

42: When did I last hold hands?

the 2nd ;u;

43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?

7ish minutes

44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days?

hellllllllllll no

45: Where am I right now?

room

46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me?

prooooobably my bf or my dad. hate alcohol tho

47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?

loud but only w speakers

48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad?

only da

49: Am I excited for anything?

absolutely motherfucker im making new friends left and right

50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?

i got two uwu

51: How often do I wear a fake smile?

:))))))) irl most of the time tbh

52: When was the last time I hugged someone?

last night

53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?

i would probably cry ugnfldkjfgslfdjg the last person i kissed was my bf wheezes

54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?

i mean probably.

55: What is something I disliked about today?

ehhhh nothing bad has really happened today

56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

probably my friend from serbia uwu

57: What do I think about most?

ocs probably sweats

58: What’s my strangest talent?

burping on command? i dunno

59: Do I have any strange phobias?

glass shattering ouo;;;

60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

beh ind

61: What was the last lie I told?

calling myself a basic bitch lmao

62: Do I perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

phone probably? video calls make me nervous

63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

hell yeah to both

64: Do I believe in magic?

hell yeah i yell tossing salt on all my rocks

65: Do I believe in luck?

yeee

66: What’s the weather like right now?

uhhh clear i think

67: What was the last book I’ve read?

Shibuya Goldfish

68: Do I like the smell of gasoline?

nop

69: Do I have any nicknames?

lash, lashy, gremlin and then stupid relationship nicknames gldsfgjfgs

70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had?

prooobably almost falling down some stairs at a con and chipping my shin and probably partly pulling my shoulder out of the socket

71: Do I spend money or save it?

i try to save but end up spending it ouo;;;;

72: Can I touch my nose with a tounge?

nearly

73: Is there anything pink in 10 feets from me?

there are some half customized MH dolls so i guess yeah

74: Favourite animal?

cat uwu

75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM?

drawing ambles trollcall pick

76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is?

satan stan obviously

77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?

Here - Ancient Magus' Bride OP

78: How can you win my heart?

art of my ocs ngl

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone?

fuck if i knew

80: What is my favorite word?

probably fuck if you would ask my phone lmao

81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr

passivetrollsblitztrollstavvys-trollsfilibusterfrogwe-are-the-legion

82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?

hey fuckers lets rumble

83: Do I have any relatives in jail?

not that i know of

84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power?

teleportation ngl

85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

probably 87

86: What is my current desktop picture?

87: Had sex?

sweats how about we move on

88: Bought condoms?

ye

89: Gotten pregnant?

hell no

90: Failed a class?

i think yeah

91: Kissed a boy?

yeeeeeeee

92: Kissed a girl?

nop

93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?

does it count if we were indoors

94: Had job?

not yet wheezes

95: Left the house without my wallet?

ye

96: Bullied someone on the internet?

i dont think so i mgiht have when i was younger

97: Had sex in public?

n o

98: Played on a sports team?

ye!

99: Smoked weed?

ye.

100: Did drugs?

only weedles

101: Smoked cigarettes?

nop

102: Drank alcohol?

yes and i hated it

103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan?

nop

104: Been overweight?

ye

105: Been underweight?

nop

106: Been to a wedding?

nop

107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight?

 every day p much

108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight?

nop

109: Been outside my home country?

ye!

110: Gotten my heart broken?

;;;; yeah

111: Been to a professional sports game?

ye

112: Broken a bone?

possibly?

113: Cut myself?

if this is on accident then ya

114: Been to prom?

prom is a waste of time ngl just go to arbys

115: Been in airplane?

yeye

116: Fly by helicopter?

n o

117: What concerts have I been to?

blueman group and the 4th of july ones that play around here

118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex?

yeeee

119: Learned another language?

bits and pieces

120: Wore make up?

yeah

121: Lost my virginity before I was 18?

nop

122: Had oral sex?

lets just skip the sex questions

123: Dyed my hair?

yeee

124: Voted in a presidential election?

ee

125: Rode in an ambulance?

nop

126: Had a surgery?

nop

127: Met someone famous?

yeye

128: Stalked someone on a social network?

god no

129: Peed outside?

this question is weird

130: Been fishing?

hell the fuck yeah

131: Helped with charity?

prrrrobaby?

132: Been rejected by a crush?

yeah ;u;

133: Broken a mirror?

i dont think so

134: What do I want for birthday?

money

135: How many kids do I want and what will be their names?

NO

136: Was I named after anyone?

i was named after two people uwu

137: Do I like my handwriting?

i can barely read it lmao i hate it

138: What was my favourite toy as a child?

my stuffed tigger uwu

139: Favourite Tv Show?

fuck i dunno probably cyberchase or fetch i dont watch tv anymore lmao

140: Where do I want to live when older?

somewhere quiet but convenient

141: Play any musical instrument?

flute and violin

142: One of my scars, how did I get it?

i have a scar on my knuckle from making garlic bread ;u; wasnt even good

143: Favourite pizza toping?

banana peppers

144: Am I afraid of the dark?

nah

145: Am I afraid of heights?

mmmm at times

146: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?

yeah >w>;;;

147: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?

all the mc fuckin time

148: What I’m really bad at

telling people when im not up for something

149: What my greatest achievments are

being alive you fuckers cant beat me i won over hundreds of other fuckers and im here

150: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me

Lets Not, Kids

151: What I’d do if I won in a lottery

buy so much cosplay shit and helping friends get what they need

152: What do I like about myself

im getting better uwu

153: My closest Tumblr friend

passivetrolls or blitztrolls wheezes

154: Something I fantasize about

being able to help my friends out of the places they are right now QuQ

155: Any question you’d like?

more questions for amble and my other girls!

[mingyus-noona]

Neighbors (Xiumin, Baekhyun)

Title: Neighbors Members: Xiumin, Baekhyun Fanfiction type: One-shot Genre: drama, angst, smutty Word count: 2,245 Oh, goodness, I’ve had this idea for quite a bit now and started planning it out at work today. I couldn’t wait to get home and work on it, but I didn’t think I’d actually get to finish it and post it tonight. Enjoy. P.S. I just knew it had to be these two because they’re the biggest little shits in EXO. ============================== "Those boys were so helpful the other day," your mother said at dinner. "I wouldn't have expected it from college boys. They're so polite. I wouldn't mind if you married one of them," she joked. You almost choked on a bite of your food, and your father cleared his throat as if to say hell no, no one was going to marry his little girl. "They were okay, but they're still guys after all," he said. "I agree," you said. But your mom just went on and on about how sweet they seemed. But if she knew what happened after she left, she'd think differently. Your family just moved into the neighborhood, and you guys had just started unloading some boxes from the moving van when two guys from next door introduced themselves as Kim Minseok and Byun Baekhyun. They'd asked if your family needed any help carrying the boxes into the house–help which your parents gladly accepted. Eventually your parents made a trip to the hardware store and left the three of you to finish with the last of the boxes. You couldn't help but notice the lewd gestures they mimed to each other or the smirks they sent your way. And eventually, they both took their shirts off, claiming that they'd gotten sweaty after all of the lifting. You called bullshit. It was nowhere near hot outside. At the time, you didn't think too much of it because they were teenage boys. Of course they did stuff like that. You were just a little surprised they'd been bold enough to do stuff like that in front of you. It made you blush like crazy. Not to mention the fact that they were really attractive. It certainly didn't help your cheeks from returning to their normal color. Over the next few days, your mother had seen them outside several times and spoke to them each time. She even gave them some cookies she made as a way to thank them for helping with the boxes. Over the course of the next week, they didn't do anything that seemed off. But one Thursday, you didn't have school, so you stayed home all day. You were used to waking up early for school, so you were up and ready to start the day at 6:30. After preparing some breakfast, you grabbed a book and headed outside to sit on the porch and read while you ate. You didn't realize how long you'd been outside, but sometime around 7:30 or maybe 8, one of the guys from next door came outside and starting doing stretches on the front lawn. In his boxers. If you'd still been eating breakfast, you would have choked on it for sure. You didn't remember which one he was, but he was the shorter of the two. And you really tried not to look, but he did have a nice body. The fact that he was half naked should have had you more embarrassed than you were, but you had your book to hide behind, so you were in the clear. That is, until you thought of something dirty and buried your face in the pages of your book to keep from getting caught. Only, when you pulled your book away from your face, the guy was standing right in front of you, having stepped over into your yard and onto your porch. Your feet hit the porch floorboards as an automatic response, and the swing stopped. "Good morning," you said nervously. "Like the view?" He asked, a big grin on his face. Oh, this little shit. You were tired of conceited guys. You were still nervous being this close to him, but you weren't going to let that get the better of you. He wasn't going to win. "Yes," you said as calmly as you could. You watched as his smirk grew, then you added in, "This is my favorite book actually." "You know what I meant," he said, sitting next to you on the swing. "I saw you blushing." You were sitting closer to one side, so when he sat next to you, he was pressed so close to you that, through his boxers, you could practically feel his hip bone pressing into yours. Did you forget to mention you were in pajamas yourself? They weren't revealing or embarrassing, but they were still pajamas nonetheless. "It's a little breezy out here, so my cheeks turned red. That's all." You opened your book back up. "What are you reading?" He tried to turn your book around to see the cover and accidentally touched your hand. "Geez, your hands are cold. Come here." He grabbed your hands, forcing the book to shut and fall to rest in your lap. He pulled your hands closer to his body to warm them, but they landed in his lap. You could literally feel his crotch against the back of your hand! You couldn't keep your cool act up anymore. You snatched your hands back so fast. "What are you doing?" He pretended to be innocent. "What? You were cold. I'm just trying to be friendly." You stood up. "I have homework to do." You marched inside. You quickly understood that you'd have to avoid Minseok and Baekhyun at all costs. But they still managed to run into you sometimes. And if your parents were outside with you, they always stopped to have a conversation with them. Especially your mom. She still doted on them and complimented their politeness. They pretended to be absolute saints whenever your parents were around. But when your parents were at work or inside the house, they were the slimiest fuckers around. Purposefully joking around with each other and dancing sexily while sending looks your way. You decided to just spend as much time inside the house as you could. You didn't want to let their childish antics bother you and gain a win for all the immature teen guys out there, but they were just too much to handle. Their flirtiness was enough, but you also noticed that the taller one, who you learned was Baekhyun and not the guy who practically made you grope his crotch, had a really hyper and wacky personality. The two of them appeared to live alone, so you figured the inside of their house must be one crazy sight. You unintentionally got your answer one day when you were in your room doing homework. Baekhyun had left his window and curtains open as he was dancing to some weird music that you thought belonged in an 80s exercise video. His dance moves were all over the place, and he was wildly swinging his arms about. But that wasn't the worst part. He started stripping, until he was down to his birthday suit. You were able to see more of him than you ever wanted. And you figured he did it on purpose. It was funny: you'd only been in the neighborhood for a few weeks, but having your hand against Minseok's crotch and seeing Baekhyun fully in the nude gave you all the experience with guys you'd ever had. Not many people could say they hadn't kissed a guy yet, but had felt one up and seen another without one article of clothing on, especially without any alcohol being involved. No matter how hard you tried, you had to just accept that these were the kind of neighbors you couldn't get rid of. You would just have to deal with them for another two years until you graduated high school, or until they moved away. Your mother talked to them often when she got home from work, so she learned that they were both freshmen in college. Which meant that you would probably have to stick it out until your graduation and not theirs. And it sure was difficult to ignore them when they seemed to be everywhere, always trying to bother you. But it was definitely harder to ignore them when they were sitting right across from you at your dining room table. Your mother had invited them to dinner. Then, while she and your father were about to head out to see a play, she suggested the three of you go see a movie. She handed over enough money for all of you to get tickets and whatever snacks you had your hearts set on. You tried to protest, but they jumped at the idea and thanked your parents for dinner and the money for the movies. All the way to the theater, you tried to grit your teeth. Just two hours. And you'd have to be quiet inside anyway, so it probably wouldn't be that bad. If only they hadn't chosen one of those ridiculously cheesy R-rated comedies. They had to vouch for you when the guy running the ticket counter asked if you were old enough. Minseok patted at your head like you were a child. "She's my little sister. I'm her guardian for tonight." Then you were sure you heard Baekhyun make some sort of innuendo under his breathe about "guiding" you to ecstasy as soon as you were far enough away from the counter that the ticket guy couldn't hear. Your goal was to sit as far away from them as possible, but the theater was almost full, so you had no luck. The movie had hardly begun by the time your popcorn was gone. With their hands free, Minseok slung an arm around your shoulder and Baekhyun pulled one of your hands into his lap, interlacing your fingers with his. "Why don't you have a boyfriend?" Minseok whispered. "How do you know if I do or not?" He raised an eyebrow. "I'd know if you did. I never see you with anyone." "You're too pretty to be single." Baekhyun joined in. "I'm not." "So your boyfriend won't mind if I do this?" Minseok kissed you. "Fuck off," you muttered as quietly as you could. "What, you didn't like it?" "Why are you picking on me specifically? Why me?" "You're sexy. And you seem to think we are too. I see you checking us out." At his comments, you stood up and left. They really were pieces of work. What was with them trying to turn you on and appeal to you when you clearly didn't like what they were doing? You would have been able to deal with them if they tried to harmlessly flirt or ask you out. But trying to act all sexy to "win you over" or whatever it was they were trying to do? Yeah, you'd pass. You'd just have to do a better job at ignoring them. * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ "You're sexy when you're angry," Baekhyun said as he came outside. You were raking leaves in your yard. They had finally started turning color and falling off the trees. You'd now been living here a few months, and while you couldn't fully ignore the two idiots living next door, you had been better with blocking them out, biting your tongue, and looking the other way. They still tried to flaunt their bodies–showing off their abs, twerking to music out on their pavement, and even streaking late at night when they saw you were sitting at your desk by the window. You'd now seen both of them fully naked, which you assumed was their goal. That or try to get you to fall for one of them. Who knew anymore? "You're sexy when you shut up," you growled back. "So you think I'm sexy?" He grinned. "No, it was just a comeback. Shut up and go inside." "Okay, sweetheart. I just came outside to invite you to our house tonight." "Why?" "It's getting cold, so we decided to start using the hot tub out back. We thought you'd have fun if you joined us." "No, thanks." You dropped the rake and headed inside. They did use their hot tub that night. And every night for the rest of the week. From your window, you could see as they tried everything in the book from wearing skimpy speedos to nothing at all to try and get your attention. And you did see the entire ordeal, but it certainly was not going to get you to go over there and join them. You figured they were done with their charade since you stopped seeing them outside in the evenings, so you thought it was safe to go read on the back porch. Bad idea. One of them must have been waiting until this happened. You heard them come outside and get into the hot tub. Surprisingly, they weren't nude or in speedos. Their bathing suits covered all the necessary bits. And they didn't even say anything to you. Out of curiosity, you glanced over at them and Minseok's eyes caught yours, causing him to smirk. You rolled your eyes and quickly returned to your book. They were quiet for a while, which you found odd. The next time you looked over, you were surprised. Once they could tell you were looking, Baekhyun chuckled and looked Minseok straight in the eyes. Then he inched forward and kissed him on the lips, his eyes wide open the entire time, staring at you. Minseok's were also watching for your reaction. You didn't want to look, but you were so shocked at what they were doing. You were pretty sure they were both as straight as people came, but there they were, making out with each other–tongue and all–to try and mess with you. Boy, it would be a long two years coming.... This was originally going to be longer and a bit different. I made them even douchier than I originally meant to. Oops. Remember, this is just for fun and in no way am I promoting harassment of any kind, as is seen in this fic.

[hollygopossumlovesj2]

Thermostat War

Inspired by this photo posted by: @justjensenanddean <3

Warning/Rating: PG-13 for cussing and a little violence; comedy, borderline crackish

Word Count: 2,426 (This was supposed to be a drabble. Its now a one shot. hehe)

Summary: Jensen arranges for he, Jared and Misha to share a cabin close to the ‘on location’ shoot. He figured that it would save a drive in the morning and would allow for more sleep. He belatedly realizes his mistake.

Hollygopossum’s Master List

Sharing a cabin close to the next on location filming had been Jensen’s idea. He already dealt with Jared and Misha on a daily basis. How bad could sharing a cabin one night possibly be? He’d take some Benadryl if he had to. Surely they could be adults for just one night?

He was wrong.

To start with, everyone had been tired from a long night of filming the night before. The car ride over to the next location had been blissfully calm. Jared had brooded quietly with his ear buds in and Pearl Jam jacked up so loud that Jensen could actually pick out lyrics.

Misha had contorted himself into what Jensen considered a pretzel in the passenger seat but didn’t put anymore brain power than necessary trying to figure out a better description. Misha spent the entire car ride like this, humming to Jared’s music and reading a book entitled Tantric Orgasms.

Fortunately, Cliff was used to everyone’s habits by now and had learned to tune them out so that he could actually concentrate on the road. Which Jensen felt was a good thing because the longer they were on this road, the curvier it became.

Lastly, Jensen also tried to perfect his talent of tuning everyone out while reading over some emails that contained business information for his new brewery. Once he realized he was reading the same sentence from the same email he had been trying to read for however long, he cleared his phone screen and let his head lull back on the seat.

Once they arrived at the cabin around 2am, their dinner was prepared and waiting for them. Well, Jensen supposed that it was probably more appropriate to call it breakfast, but his tired brain tossed that idea out. He grabbed a few rolls and several pieces of ham and cheese.

To be honest, he didn’t even have the energy to make himself a sandwich. So, while he unpacked his necessities for tonight and the next day of shooting, he ate the individual pieces. He was shoving the last roll in his mouth as he stripped all his clothes off except for his boxers and fell face first into bed. If Jensen was being honest, he wasn’t even sure if he was awake to finish chewing and swallowing his food before he fell headlong into slumber.

It was fair to say that Jensen was a heavy sleeper. He had learned to get sleep when he could. Whether it was a ten-minute break between filming balled up in his chair or on the ten-minute ride home, he’d learned to make the most of his time.

So when he woke up, freezing his ass off, it was fair to say that it was a rather large disparity in temperature since he’d fallen asleep. Which meant that someone had screwed with the thermostat.

Jensen rolled into a sitting position with a groan, his joints popping and cracking as he went. It took him a moment to wake up enough to put one foot in front of the other and find the thermostat.

There was a seriously grumpy twist to his features as he hobbled down the hall way with his socks sliding halfway off of his feet and his hair tufts sticking in all directions. Jensen squinted in the low light, trying to read the setting. “Fucking… Damnit, Jared! Fucking feels like a goddamn ice box in here. 60 degrees. Jesus.” He grumbled in a harsh whisper, quickly moving the temperature up to 75F. That was a reasonable temperature in his mind and he promptly fell back into bed, crawling beneath the covers.

Two hours later…

When Jensen woke up the second time, the red numbers from the clock on his nightstand read 4:32 am. His mind quickly supplied that it was two hours before the time they needed to be up and taking a quick shower. He was actually shivering beneath the heavy quilt that the cabin owners had provided. His teeth were chattering for fucks sake!

Again, he stomped out of the room in grumpy, rumpled and now freezing disarray, and to the thermostat that was now set on 55 degrees. “Mother fucker…” He wasn’t very careful with the thermostat as he turned it up to 80F. “See how Jared likes that.” He grumbled down the hall, headed back to bed. He checked the closet for extra blankets and piled them on the bed. Thinking that when it finally warmed up from fucking 55F, he would shed the blankets off.

An hour and a half later…

The third time he woke up, he could swear he had fucking snot icicles in his nose. He stared down the red numbers that said 6 am in a very ‘displeased with his current situation’ squint. It was 30 minutes until they needed to be awake and getting ready. Jensen was livid. He snatched up his blankets and a pillow, turned the thermostat up to 85F and stretched out on the couch to wait.

15 minutes later, after the cabin had finally begun to warm up and Jensen was starting to dose off, there were heavy footsteps coming down the hall.

Jensen squinted into the dark, biding his time while he silently watched the hulking, lanky culprit starts to adjust the thermostat.

“Fucking Jensen. Jesus, it’s a goddamned sauna in here. My fucking hair is soaked!” Jensen heard Jared muttering harshly, confirming the identity of his enemy. There was no point in going back to sleep now. There were only ten minutes left of quality sleep before he’d have to be in the shower.

A sunrise shoot, they said. It’ll have a great effect, they said. Jensen felt like they could shove their sunrise shoot at the perfect angle up their asses. He didn’t care that they were his bosses. At the moment, he didn’t care that the director felt this shot of the last scene of the last episode of the season would increase the feelings of nostalgia. Screw nostalgia and screw Jared Padalecki.

“You hot natured stubborn son of a bitch!” Jensen yelled out a war cry before tackling Jared to the ground, but he didn’t manage to pin the sweaty man before he rolled. Sweat dripped from Jared’s face onto Jensen’s shirt as they struggled on the ground, bumping into furniture and walls.

Jensen saw a point of weakness in Jared’s wrestling hold and put all of his weight from dislodging it and getting the upper hand. The move, sloppy because neither one of them was completely awake, knocked down a lamp and sent some coasters falling to their doom. In the background of things falling loudly to the mahogany hard wood floors, several grunts of discomfort and frustration could be heard.

It was hard to tell where each of the noises came from as the boys (ehem, grown men, actually) continued to battle senselessly for control of the wrestling match and control of the thermostat. Which, if Jensen or Jared had even stopped to think about it, there was no point in victory that would allow the victor 2 minutes in their desired temperature. They would be getting ready for work soon.

Jared was difficult to hold on to with all the sweat, or at least that’s what Jensen told himself when Jared wiggled out of every hold. “Ugh, you’re gross! What did you do? Slather yourself with self-tanning lotion?” Jensen growled as Jared’s wet hair slapped him in the face. “Fuck!”

“I wouldn’t be gross if you weren’t trying to roast me the fuck out of the house! It would be more comfortable sleeping outside! Fucking 80 degrees, really?!” Jared with his long limbs finally wound around Jensen with a successful hold around his chest and neck. They were almost face to face, Jensen being on head space down, glaring at one another with the deepest amount of disdain possible for a war involving the thermostat.

“Lemme up, damnit!” Jensen growled right before Jared shoved Jensen’s face into his sweaty, stinking arm pit in retaliation. “Oh mrgd! You uckin’ ackash!” Jared smiled vindictively as Jensen continued to yell muffled insults at the top of his lungs as he struggled which only proved to make Jared laugh more. “’othser uckser… ucks!”

“What in the hell?” The light turned on abruptly, making both of the boys squint uncomfortably in the direction of the stairs. Well, Jared assumed Jensen was squinting because his face was still shoved in his arm pit.

Misha was on the bottom step, standing with his hands on his hips and a scowl firmly in place. The expression made Jared think momentarily that Misha’s expression was like Castiel’s when he was informed that he would have to poop when his grace was taken. You know, when he was forced to live like the rest of humanity? “What the fuck is going on?” Misha’s hair was a rat’s nest. His black hair was sticking up in all directions, paired with a look that either Castiel has smelled poop for the first time or some other human, vulnerable activity, made Jared’s chest heave with suppressed laughter.

As he acknowledged that this play was futile, Jensen began elbowing Jared in the gut with all his strength. The hold Jared had him in made it awkward to even be able to land a blow. Plus, by the time Jensen finally landed a jab, Jared was already prepared and tightening his abdominals against the impact. “Fuschin, ssssshow -ff!”

Jared laughed at his friend’s muffled cussing and feeble attempts to break free. “He started it.” He finally answered after he could get the sleepy delirious laughter under control. Childishly, he pointed his finger at Jensen who was now starting to thrash around rather violently, kicking his feet and narrowly missing the coffee table that had managed to stay standing through the entire affair.

Jensen was extremely frustrated because he couldn’t get any traction on the floor due to the socks he was wearing. After he struggled for a little while longer, his brain finally came back on line from being sleep deprived (and now quality oxygen deprived) just in time to play dirty. A pained yelp, followed by several creative curse words could probably be heard all the way into the next fucking city.

Jared immediately let go as Jensen, who had managed to work his hand between them, twisted the fuck out of his nipple. Jensen showed no mercy and it occurred to both of them that this was why the never pitted themselves against each other. It always ended up with someone having a black eye and a bruised as fuck nipple. Jared’s nipples were sensitive, damnit!

“Ha!!” Jensen was exultant while taking big gulping breaths of non-pit stain or onions. “Purple nerple for the win, bitches!” Jared was giving Jensen pouty puppy eyes as he massaged his abused, probably seriously bruised, tender nipple. The fucker was like a starving crab, his pinschers unforgiving to delicate flush.

Jared suddenly thought of a conversation that his Mom had with his sister, Megan, when she was sixteen and just finding out that she couldn’t necessarily tweak people at school like she did with her brothers. My Mom had said, as I had lingered in the doorway looking for black mail material to keep Megan from getting too bratty, “You must treat them like cotton candy. Breast tissue is very sensitive. …You mustn’t let anyone abuse your breasts.”

Megan had replied with a sentence that made my Mom feel like she’d been heard and that Megan understood. I’m pretty sure, Megan the ever naughty little sister, did not restrain herself.

You must treat them like cotton candy…

“You sound like a sixteen-year-old girl, you ass.” Jared grumbled as he came back to the present situation. He found that he’d reflexively used his hands a shield, in case Jensen decided to be handsy again.

He looked ridiculous.

Jensen was now delirious and crowing laughter as tears started to appear at the corner of his eyes. To be honest, if you’d asked him in that moment ‘what are you laughing at?’, Jensen wouldn’t be able to tell you. He’d just seemingly lost his fucking marbles.

“What the fuck?” Misha shook his head, the entire time massaging his temples with his eyes closed as he attempted to wake up enough to deal with this shit. He finally stopped to look at each of his coworkers, the people that he called friends and colleagues. “Idiots.”

Jensen was still laughing and Jared was still pouting five minutes later, the temperature of the house headed towards a Death Valley heat wave. If these morons were going to continue to lose it, he was going to actually do something productive while he tried to remind himself why he still really wanted to play Castiel. He tried to remember why he would subject himself to this kind of crap daily.

He sighed heavily as he turned the thermostat down to 70 degrees. The boys were not paying him any attention as they laughed and squabbled between themselves. Internally, Misha wondered how a 35-year-old and a 40-year-old man could possibly raise children when they were still children themselves.

“What a bunch of fuckwits…” He grumbled affectionately as he then turned towards the direction of the bathroom. He was expecting another childish fight over bathroom time and intended to nip it in the bud. Right before he slammed the door, he yelled, “First shower’s mine, assholes!” He smiled maniacally at the groans of disapproval ground out on the other side of the door. “That’ll teach you. Dicks.”

Needless to say, Jensen and Jared’s day did not start off very well. Nor did it get any better for all three of them. Through the entire day, Jensen and Jared could be seen throwing each other glares promising retribution. While Misha looked on from a safe distance, still baffled as to how these men were actually raising part of the future.

Misha thought that the boys were lucky that they had their looks. Otherwise, they wouldn’t even begin to be able to maintain a job in the real world. As the day dragged on, Misha began to notice that Jared and Jensen were back to spending time together between takes. They even took a late lunch together with the crew, not one wrestling match to be had.

So, when they were finally allowed to go home for the day, all was forgiven until the next time a thermostat war was declared. Then? Misha shuddered to think of it.

Tagging: (Forevers) @perpetualabsurdity, @maileann, @daydreamingintheimpala, @gecko9596, @gemini75eeyore, @jotink78, @dancingalone21, @winchesterprincessbride, @sandlee44, @exploratiionist, @arryn-nyx, @littledarlinhavefaithinme, @tiffanycaruso, @boredoutofmymindstuff, @feelmyroarrrr, @raeganr99, @ruprecht0420, @anokhi07, @letsgetyourdeanon, @sis-tafics, @callmesatansprincess, @atc74, @ryansgirl5509, @notnaturalanahi, @keepcalmandcarryondean, @sea040561, @just-another-busy-fangirl, @uniquewerewolfsuit, @ria132love, @mrswhozeewhatsis, @pretty-fortune, @butiaintgonnaloveem, @justanotherdeangrl, @weasleywinchester, @easelweasel, @akshi8278, @tas898, @mandymoiselle1970, @pansexualmeteorite, @silver9mm

[pennywisemakesmefloat-blog]

A Few Facts About Me

I thought you guys, my humble mutuals, might want to know a bit more about me. I don’t want to seem like a mysterious unapproachable blogger ^-^

- I like to be known as Luna online (simply cause my real name is boring xD)

- I’m 19 

- I’m a semi-good artist - I post drawings on my Instagram sometimes. I could put some examples of my art here too if anyone wants? hmu if you do :3

- I’m in quite a few fandoms, including; IT, Supernatural, Criminal Minds, Riverdale, Death Note, Marvel, DC, Sherlock, Adventure Time, Stranger Things, TBBT, Harry Potter, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, Disney (specifically Alice in Wonderland, Peter Pan and The Nightmare Before Christmas) Preacher, Star Wars, Outlast and some Youtubers such as Pewdiepie, Jacksepticeye, CJUGames, AliA, Clare Callery, Shane Dawson and Cayleigh Elise. 

- I have 4 cats: 2 ragdolls, a Siamese and a Tabby. Their names are Harry, Angel, Mizuki and Daisy. 

- I’m a chubby gal, about 5″5 and have super long dark brown hair :’) 

- I’m from the UK, specifically living in Scotland. I was born in Ireland and my mum is from London. 

- I have Aspergers, which I am proud of! :D 

- I suffer with depression, anxiety and PCOS on a daily basis, but I am on medication and doing a lot better than I was last year! 

- I  L O V E meeting and talking to new people, so if you have any questions, or want to talk then pLEASE don’t hesitate to contact me ^-^ 

- I like a range of different music, some of my favourite artists/bands are; Bastille, Take That, Ed Sheeran, Adele, Sam Smith, Eminem, Twenty One Pilots, Panic! At The Disco, CupcakKe, P!nk, Beyonce, AC/DC, Green Day, Lady Gaga, Imagine Dragons, any/all 80′s music, Sia, Fun., The Neighbourhood, Halsey, James Blunt, Lana Del Rey and any Disney song :3 I also love various movie soundtracks! 

- H O W ? TO ? BE ? INTERESTING ? ~ A Novel By Me. 

- I LOVE CANDLES. 

- and bathbombs (from Lush) 

- my favourite colour is every colour cause I’m shit at consistency 

- I’m Asexual/Pansexual :) 

- I collect Pop Vinyls. Like seriously, they’ve taken over my room. 

- My Harry Potter house is Ravenclaw ^-^ 

- I adore Unicorns and any and all Unicorn merchandise/products/items 🦄

- If I was a cartoon character, my trademark clothing style would be: a pair of black leggings, a nerdy t shirt, a grey band hoodie and some worn camo converse. I wear the same thing nearly every day :) 

- I COLLECT PLUSHIES/STUFFED TOYS. THEY ARE MY DARK ARMY. 

- The Cheshire Cat is my favourite fictional character 

- I LOVE SPACE! AND STARS! AND GALAXIES! AND PLANETS! ANYTHING SPACEY . ESPECIALLY THE MOON. THE MOON IS BEAUTIFUL. 

- I H A T E tomatoes. 

- I love the It/Clown Fucker fandom so much. Everyone is so nice and freaky - there’s no fear of judgement :3 

- I have a weird obsession with Rainbow Dash even tho I’m not a brony/don’t watch MLP. I just love Dashy for some reason. (prolly the rainbows) 

- My dream holiday destination is Japan - I love their culture, food and lifestyle. I want to experience their cuisine and all the kawaii things there :3 

- I want to move to a city and live in a cosy apartment and have a job in the Arts. 

- I’m a dreamer, not a realist. 

- I like shiny things, which basically makes me a magpie. 

- Toothless the dragon is my spirit animal because I try to look intimidating and uncaring but I’m the biggest pushover. 

- If you ever need a friend, or a laugh, or support then I’m here for you! No matter who you are. 

I hope you learned enough about me to find me approachable! :’) I really don’t bite, and I’d love to make some friends on here :) hmu if you have any questions or replies to this post ^-^

[svskiacohen]

Character Sheet: Saskia Cohen

Full Name: Saskia Jane Cohen (prev. Saskia Jane Van Hobeek) Meaning of Name: Saskia is a Dutch name, chosen by her father who is from the Netherlands. Her mom liked the named Jane better however, and only calls Saskia by that. She prefers to be called Saskia, but she uses Jane as a fake name sometimes. Cohen is her mother’s last name, and her mother had Saskia’s last name legally changed back to her own when her parents divorced while she was seven. Cohen is a Jewish surname, as her mother is of Russian Jewish descent. Nickname: Sask Birth Date: April 5th Astrological Sign and Details: Aries. She’s a fire sign through and through. She’s impatient, quick-tempered, and independent. 

BASICS

Full Name: Saskia Jane Cohen (prev. Saskia Jane Van Hobeek) Meaning of Name: Saskia is a Dutch name, chosen by her father who is from the Netherlands. Her mom liked the named Jane better however, and only calls Saskia by that. She prefers to be called Saskia, but she uses Jane as a fake name sometimes. Cohen is her mother’s last name, and her mother had Saskia’s last name legally changed back to her own when her parents divorced while she was seven. Cohen is a Jewish surname, as her mother is of Russian Jewish descent.  Nickname: Sask Birth Date: April 5th Astrological Sign and Details: Aries. She’s a fire sign through and through. She’s impatient, quick-tempered, and independent.  Birth Place: Ojai, California Age: 20 Nationality: American Race: White, with Dutch and Russian Jewish descent Hair Color: Dark brown Hair Style: Curly and wild Distinct Features of Face: Striking blue eyes Glasses or Contacts: Nope Eye Color: Sky blue Scars or Distinguishing Marks: Lots of tiny scars from falling off bikes, getting into fights, and playing rough as a kid. Small, moon shaped marks on her neck from where an ex-boyfriend once attempted to choke her. A cigarette burn on her arm from her mother.  Disabilities: None Build or Body Type: Slender, too-thin, and tall Height: 5′8 Weight: 115 Speech Patterns: Bored tone, valley girl accent. Tag Words: Fucker, jagweed, asshole Gestures: Eye rolls, licking her lips before she speaks  Weakness: Cigarettes and bar fights FAMILY AND CHILDHOOD

Mother: Anastasia Cohen Father: Lucas Van Hobeek Mother’s Occupation: Former soap actress, now living off of a divorce settlement Father’s Occupation: Engineer for Apple Family Finances: Rich as hell Birth Order: Youngest Brothers: two older brothers, Harry and Adam Sisters: None Other Close Family: A cousin who is just as bad as Saskia, Melinda Best Friend: Bradley Milligan Other Friends: Gabe Leitner, Wesley Costa Enemies: Anyone who looks at her the wrong way Pets: None Home Life During Childhood: Abusive and toxic. Her mother remarried a young model only a year older than Saskia. Her brother Adam suffered from Borderline Personality Disorder and had anger management issues, and the family was terrified of him. Town or City Name(s): Grew up in Los Angeles, California after her mother moved them there after the divorce.  Details of Town(s) or City(s): Her mother used most of the divorce settlement to buy a giant mansion in Beverly Hills that they couldn’t truly afford, and Saskia grew up surrounded by B-List celebrities and new age artist types, every one of them strung out on something What Did His, Her or Their Bedroom Look Like: Messy. Every inch of it was covered with clothing, books, and records. She was constantly blaring rock music anytime she was able to be alone. Any Sports or Clubs: She avoided anything social at all costs. Favorite Toy or Game: Touch football, played with her male classmates Schooling: Private schools where she always stuck out, with ripped fishnets instead of the regulation tights Favorite Subject: Math, surprisingly. Popular or Loner: Popular, but not due to any effort of her own. People mistook her meanness for humor, and she gained a kind of cult following accidentally. To this day, she’s still a darling of the LA nightclub scene and shows up in tabloids occasionally Important Experiences or Events: Her father leaving. Her mother remarrying, three times. Spending a month in a psych ward for her eating disorder. Watching her mother overdose on pills, and having to call an ambulance for her.  Health Problems: Anorexia nervosa, depression.  Religion and beliefs: She’s non-practicing Jewish. PERSONAL

Bad Habits: Biting her lip until it bleeds, chainsmoking, pushing people away.  Good Habits: Not caring what anyone thinks. Best Characteristic: Intelligence and cleverness  Worst Characteristic: Anger  Worst Memory: Her mom forcing her fingers down Saskia’s throat before an audition for a Go-Gurt commercial, because she had eaten too many cookies.  Best Memory: Sitting in the back of a convertible at 3 am, reeling through the streets of LA with someone she loved Proud of: Her resilience Embarrassed by: How deeply, utterly terrified she is of real human connection Driving Style: Aggressive and fast Strong Points: Tough, clever, intelligent Temperament: Volatile Attitude: Pessimistic Weakness: People who treat her badly Fears: Being forgotten, being used, falling in love Phobias: Snakes Secrets: Her brother Adam nearly killed her in a fit of driving rage, and she spent two weeks in the hospital Regrets: Not telling people how she feels, letting her mom push her around her entire life Feels Vulnerable When: She feels out of control Pet Peeves: people who speak too softly Motivation: Survival Short Term Goals and Hopes: To finish college Long Term Goals and Hopes: Find a way to not be miserable all the time Sexuality: Heterosexual Exercise Routine: Over-exercise late at night Day or Night Person: Night person Introvert or Extrovert: Extrovert Optimist or Pessimist: Pessimist LIKES AND PREFERENCES

Music: Indie rock, 80′s rock

Books: Anything by Kurt Vonnegut Magazines: A guilty pleasure for the Daily Mail Foods: Gum, Altoids, cherries, anything that’s not really food Drinks: Whiskey, black coffee Animals: Cats Sports: Soccer. Favorite Saying: “Fuck you.”

Color: Black and blue. Clothing: Her dad’s old leather jacket Jewelry: She doesn’t really wear jewelry Games: People’s emotions

Websites: Vine (rip) TV Shows: It’s Always Sunny, Stranger Things Movies: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind Greatest Want: For someone to see through all her bullshit Greatest Need: Professional help LIFESTYLE

Relationship with Family: Nonexistent. Her brother Harry and her are the only ones in the family that still speak. Car: An old Mustang her dad bought her instead of visiting from the Netherlands for her 16th birthday. Career: None!! Salary: Dad’s money Other Income: Money from drugs she occasionally deals Dream Career: Professor Dream Life: She can’t picture her life beyond next week Love Life: Incredibly messy.

Sexual Turn Ons: Biting, rough sex, hair pulling, choking Sexual Turn Offs: Men with thin eyebrows, any discussion of Steve Buscemi Hobbies: Reading, drugs Sports or Clubs: None. Talents or Skills: Creating fake identities, lying Intelligence Level: High intelligence Finances: RICH Greatest Strength: Toughness Greatest Weakness: Self-hatred

[awkward-whiteboy]

1-200

200 Questions to Ask Me!

200: My crush’s name is:  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 199: I was born in: Michigan198: I am really: Depressed, bored, hungry, lonely197: My cellphone company is: Verizon196: My eye color is: Brown/ugly195: My shoe size is: 11194: My ring size is:8.5193: My height is: 6″3192: I am allergic to: Medicine, tree dust191: My 1st car was: The piece of shitmobile190: My 1st job was: Illegal  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 189: Last book you read: How to Think About Weird Things Critical Thinking for a New Age. (Yes it’s a college textbook, but if you love debating with people on the internet [ though this is pointless] this book is a must read).188: My bed is: a college loft that I fear is going to fall any second. 187: My pet: Pet no, mascot my HARAMBE FLAG! 186: My best friend: @rinkatai @aesthetichalestorm @bookerdewiit 185: My favorite shampoo is: Whatever I have in the shower when I’m showering184: Xbox or ps3: either, but Mario Kart trumps them all183: Piggy banks are: cool if they aren’t the break ones182: In my pockets: wallet, room keys, a “Thanks asshole” note someone graciously wrote me 181: On my calendar: Peoples birthdays, and predictions for stupids shit. (5 for 6 on them being right)180: Marriage is: dumb, combining debt together over a stupid ceremony. Why not just say fuck it and save the money for a sweet house and lots of animals179: Spongebob can: keep coming out. I love that show. If given the time, I could probably quote almost all the episodes178: My mom: is my mom177: The last three songs I bought were? People buy songs? I can name albums: Reaching into infinity, Begining of the End, One More Light176: Last YouTube video watched: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jsx0d3p4SMQ

175: How many cousins do you have? That I talk to, 3,4. total like 22+

174: Do you have any siblings? Youngest of 5

173: Are your parents divorced? No

172: Are you taller than your mom? Yes

171: Do you play an instrument? Guitar and Trombone

170: What did you do yesterday? Stayed up til 5 am playing Garrys Mod

[ I Believe In ]

169: Love at first sight: Sort of, doesnt work out though

168: Luck: Luck is an undeclared claim.

167: Fate: Nope

166: Yourself: Never. I always fail

165: Aliens: Hard to say, 

164: Heaven: No

163: Hell: I am a living hell

162: God: not a god, but a something

161: Horoscopes: Nope

160: Soul mates: Yes

159: Ghosts: No

158: Gay Marriage: Marriage is Marriage, IMO calling it Gay marriage is trying to make it different than regular marriage.

157: War: Yes

156: Orbs: YEs

155: Magic: No

[ This or That ]

154: Hugs or Kisses: Hugs

153: Drunk or High: Both.  ( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ʖ ͡°) ͡°)

152: Phone or Online: Phone

151: Red heads or Black haired: Red Heads, but thats just from my experience

150: Blondes or Brunettes: Brunettes

149: Hot or cold: Mild

148: Summer or winter: Winter

147: Autumn or Spring: Spring

146: Chocolate or vanilla: Vanilla

145: Night or Day: Night

144: Oranges or Apples: Apple

143: Curly or Straight hair: Curly

142: McDonalds or Burger King: BK

141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: White Chocolate

140: Mac or PC: PC

139: Flip flops or high heals: Flippers

138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: Sweet and Poor

137: Coke or Pepsi: Don’t care, just gots to be diet

136: Hillary or Obama: Norm is my OTP  ( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ʖ ͡°) ͡°)

135: Burried or cremated: Cremated, that way I’ll still be around people when im dead because no one would come willing if I was buried

134: Singing or Dancing: My singing is 1 of a kind

133: Coach or Chanel: Chanel because meme

132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: Kat McPhee, only because I don’t know any of them and Hick is a bad name with my life.

131: Small town or Big city: Both

130: Wal-Mart or Target: Target

129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: Ben Stiller

128: Manicure or Pedicure: Pedi

127: East Coast or West Coast: Weast Coast  ( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ʖ ͡°) ͡°)

126: Your Birthday or Christmas: Birthday, people notice me :)

125: Chocolate or Flowers: Flowers

124: Disney or Six Flags: Datknee… Disney

123: Yankees or Red Sox: Neither

[ Here’s What I Think About ]

122: War: Pointless, but happens, Realistically, will never end.

121: George Bush: All politics have goods and bads, we’ve had better, but we also had far worse.

120: Gay Marriage: Always said

119: The presidential election: Popular vote and the current way are both fraud by the way America is. A completely new system is needed.

118: Abortion: Not a women so my opinion is not valid or needed. Honestly I hate kids. so Pro

117: MySpace: Last i checked (like a year ago,) its pretty much a Soundcloud.

116: Reality TV: Stupid

115: Parents: Do what they do. Different generation so their ways of parenting are theirs.

114: Back stabbers: Too many in my life… DAMN… MAYBE THIS IS WHY I AM FUCKED UP.

113: Ebay: I spend too much money on it

112: Facebook: Fuck the Zuck

111: Work: Never had a legal job

110: My Neighbors: Can go shove a knife up their asses 

109: Gas Prices: Better than the past

108: Designer Clothes: I’m making a separate post about this.. I might be in a bit of trouble with my college over this.

107: College: I don’t fit in anywhere. only friends I have I went to High school with. 

106: Sports: Really wish I played football in High school. I know I wouldn’t play at my school, but a smaller one I would.

105: My family: Family is family

104: The future: WIll not be brighter. 

[ Last time I ]

103: Hugged someone: Too long ago

102: Last time you ate: yesterday (2:00pm 12/13/2017)

101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: Emotional abuser has a drug dealer that lives in my colleges town. Saw her :/ cried for hours.

100: Cried in front of someone: Summer 2017

99: Went to a movie theater: whenever IT came out. Got in trouble with my colelge cause of roommates

98: Took a vacation: too long ago

97: Swam in a pool: summer 2017

96: Changed a diaper: never

95: Got my nails done: never

94: Went to a wedding: Spring 2017

93: Broke a bone: with a doctor knowing never, but like 6 years ago

92: Got a piercing: None

91: Broke the law:  ( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ʖ ͡°) ͡°)

90: Texted: I stubbed my nose on the elevator

[ MISC ]

89: Who makes you laugh the most: Doc

88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: Nothing

87: The last movie I saw: Cure For Wellness

86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: Going home so I wont be alone with my depressing thoughts and questionable music

85: The thing im not looking forward to: going to the meeting

84: People call me: Davie Crocket Davy Divad Garbage, fucker loser, pretty much every name in the book

83: The most difficult thing to do is: pretend to be normal

82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: Talked the cop out of it with my mindfucking bullshittery

81: My zodiac sign is: Scorpio

80: The first person i talked to today was:

@rinkatai

79: First time you had a crush: 9th Grade

78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: Rink

77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: Last week

76: Right now I am talking to: Myself 

75: What are you going to do when you grow up: Good question  ( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ʖ ͡°) ͡°)  

74: I have/will get a job: No, I cant do interviews I alwasy fuck them up or never get called back

73: Tomorrow: hopefully do something better

72: Today: Watched 9 hours of netflixs

71: Next Summer: Too far to determain

70: Next Weekend: Too far to determain

69: I have these pets: None

68: The worst sound in the world: College kids screaming because finals when they are just being cliche

67: The person that makes me cry the most is: myself

66: People that make you happy: Happy? whats that

65: Last time I cried: Today

64: My friends are: Rin Doc 

63: My computer is: Fucked up because everything I own always gets fucked up

62: My School: College sucks, High School : IN A LOT OF HOT WATER

61: My Car: is a piece of shit

60: I lose all respect for people who: treat me bad… damn thats like 95% of the people I see

59: The movie I cried at was: The Producer

58: Your hair color is: Ugly Brown

57: TV shows you watch: The OFfice

56: Favorite web site: Higher or Lower Youtube

55: Your dream vacation: Somewhere with the right person

54: The worst pain I was ever in was: The emotion and things I live with everyday.

53: How do you like your steak cooked: However it is cooked

52: My room is: MY STUFF IS CLEAN roommate 1 is not

51: My favorite celebrity is: Too many to name

50: Where would you like to be: A better state of mind

49: Do you want children: NO

48: Ever been in love: Sadly

47: Who’s your best friend: Rin Doc

46: More guy friends or girl friends: Girl Friends

45: One thing that makes you feel great is: Dark humor

44: One person that you wish you could see right now: :’(

43: Do you have a 5 year plan: I only plan 5 minutes in advance

42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: No, honestly asking 10th grade me, i only planned up till graduation

41: Have you pre-named your children: NO KIDS

40: Last person I got mad at:  ( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ʖ ͡°) ͡°)

39: I would like to move to: Sanity land

38: I wish I was a professional: Musician

[ My Favorites ]

37: Candy: Sour Skittles or Mega Sours

36: Vehicle: Piece of Shit Mobile

35: President: Suliman with the Onion hat

34: State visited: Iowa. 

33: Cellphone provider: Verizon

32: Athlete: Cardale Jones

31: Actor: Bill Mother Fucking Murry

30: Actress: Emma Watson

29: Singer: Davey Jones, Davey Havok, Chester, and many more

28: Band: Too many, but I will say I’ve personally met one of them

27: Clothing store: cheap ones

26: Grocery store: cheap ones

25: TV show: Office, Simpsons South Park TWD

24: Movie: Cure For Wellness Clockwork Orange, Cant remember the name, but the original hunger games… the japanese one

23: Website: youtube

22: Animal: panda pugs

21: Theme park: cedar point

20: Holiday: leif erikson day

19: Sport to watch: hockey

18: Sport to play: football

17: Magazine:  ( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ʖ ͡°) ͡°)

16: Book: Too many

15: Day of the week: Monday. Because I play a game of what sucks more… I win a lot

14: Beach: na

13: Concert attended: Alice Cooper 3x, Deep Purple, Stone Sour, Skillet, Motley Crue 2x, FFDP, Wayland, Valraven, Alterbridge, Iron Maiden, going to see Judas Priest with someone in April

12: Thing to cook: Pasta and muffins

11: Food: ^

10: Restaurant: places with spicy chicken nuggets rice pudding and chicken noodle soup

9: Radio station: 101 WRIF Q106

8: Yankee candle scent: N/A

7: Perfume: N/A

6: Flower: Idk Roses or Marigolds

5: Color: Black orange green

4: Talk show host:  ( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ʖ ͡°) ͡°)

3: Comedian: A lot

2: Dog breed: PUG

1: did you answer all these truthfully? Like 4 are not :/

[whtaft]

1-99 you're doing it too this time

I know I deserve this. But. 

1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?

Sugar Boats by Modest Mouse

These Days by Nico

Sleepyhead by Passion Pit

Sleeping Lessons by The Shins

Up from Below by Edward Sharpe & the Magnetic Zeroes

2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

My ~ one true love ~ or Ruth Bader Ginsberg

3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.

“When you fill a page, try drafting that section, because writing out your ideas can improve your thinking at every stage of your project.” This is what I get for having the Chicago Manuel of Style out.

4: What do you think about most?

How worried I am about getting a job

5: What does your latest text message from someone else say?

Oh god this is weird without context: “The strange thing is that she somehow thinks that some cat lady's crafts belong in a museum. What makes them significant?”

6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on?

With, but not a lot of them

7: What’s your strangest talent?

I have double jointed thumbs

8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence)

Girls are all amazing

Boys need to work harder

9: Ever had a poem or song written about you?

I... don’t believe so? My high school crush once told me that I’m “not the sort of girl people write songs about” which was great for my self-esteem

10: When is the last time you played the air guitar?

I genuinely don’t know

11: Do you have any strange phobias?

YUP

12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?

NOPE, IT’S ONE OF MY PHOBIAS

13: What’s your religion?

Judaism

14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?

Walking my dog

15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

Behind

16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

The Shins

17: What was the last lie you told?

That I was feeling okay

18: Do you believe in karma?

Not really

19: What does your URL mean?

William Howard Taft

20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

Weakness: I’m very sensitive

Strength: I’m a good writer

21: Who is your celebrity crush?

Right now? Travis McElroy

22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping?

Nope

23: How do you vent your anger?

I cry and write something shitty on Tumblr about it

24: Do you have a collection of anything?

Tsum tsum!

25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

Video chatting

26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become?

Yes and no; overall, I’m more okay than not okay

27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?

Hate the sound of my upstairs neighbors clomping around; love the sound of Monty’s tail whacking something as it wags

28: What’s your biggest “what if”?

What if I went to a different college where I was happier

29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

Yes and yes

30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.

Right: pillow

Left: PUPPY DOG

31: Smell the air. What do you smell?

I can’t smell anything because allergies

32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to?

@stevebarnacles​‘ blog

Just kidding

This very creepy bed and breakfast in Ohio

33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast?

East Coast because I’ve never been to West

34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?

I don’t like that I’m this way, but Marcus Mumford

35: To you, what is the meaning of life?

Dogs

36: Define Art.

Do you like it? Then it’s art.

37: Do you believe in luck?

Ehhh sort of

38: What’s the weather like right now?

Getting colder

39: What time is it?

9:03

40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?

Yes and no

41: What was the last book you read?

Don’t call me out like this

42: Do you like the smell of gasoline?

No???

43: Do you have any nicknames?

Unless you count whtaft or mambo, then no

44: What was the last film you saw?

Labyrinth!

45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

My ear drums rupture every couple years and it’s awful

46: Have you ever caught a butterfly?

Yes, the scary mother fuckers

47: Do you have any obsessions right now?

TAZ and MBMBAM

48: What’s your sexual orientation?

Bi

49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?

Ofc

50: Do you believe in magic?

Yes, to an extent

51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

Y U P

52: What is your astrological sign?

Capricorn

53: Do you save money or spend it?

Spend

54: What’s the last thing you purchased?

A movie ticket to see Labyrinth

55: Love or lust?

Love

56: In a relationship?

In my dreams

57: How many relationships have you had?

Classified

58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue?

No

59: Where were you yesterday?

Home and the movie theater

60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?

I am sitting on a blanket that has pink on it

61: Are you wearing socks right now?

Hell no

62: What’s your favourite animal?

MONTY

63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?

... Is this a thing that people have? Because I don’t have any

64: Where is your best friend?

Canada

65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr.

@biblionerd07

@hakunahistata

@stevebarnacles

@relenafanel

@n0tdrunk

66: What is your heritage?

Eastern European Jewish/German Catholic

67: What were you doing last night at 12AM?

Just falling asleep

68: What do you think is Satan’s last name?

He doesn’t have one

69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?

Um. Yes. Why is this phrased this way? It’d be a lot better if it asked if I’d gotten myself off today, which is also yes.

70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?

No

71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

Get the dog, bring him to the office, and take care of him there until your boss gets annoyed but doesn’t fire you

72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

TELL EVERYONE

Go to Disney World

FUCK YEAH

73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love.

Love

74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

Hot Patootie from Rocky Horror

75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?

Classified

76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?

Ummm I’ve never been in one, so I’m not an expert, but I think you gotta be on the same level

77: How can I win your heart?

Like, just be nice to me and I’ll probably fall in love with you

78: Can insanity bring on more creativity?

No, and it’s a dangerous myth to propagate

79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?

Getting Monty

80: What size shoes do you wear?

6-7

81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone?

Probably just my name; I don’t really know of anything else that I want to carry with me like that

82: What is your favourite word?

Monty

83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.

Monty

84: What is a saying you say a lot?

Fuck a duck

85: What’s the last song you listened to?

Sugar Boats by Modest Mouse

86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours?

Dark green/black/maroon

87: What is your current desktop picture?

It’s of Sora, Pooh, Piglet and Tigger from Kingdom Hearts

88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?

The Cheeto 

89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

Who my crush is

90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?

I’d probably just die, let’s be real

91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?

Teleportation

92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

I’d like to go back to when I met Sebastian Stan again and wear something different this time

93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

The night where I almost committed suicide

94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

Yo-Yo Ma

95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

I’m gonna go to NYC to visit @hakunahistata

96: Do you have any relatives in jail?

Yes

97: Have you ever thrown up in the car?

I can’t remember an instance but I was also a baby, so maybe then

98: Ever been on a plane?

Yup

99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?

CHILL THE FUCK OUT