#you know those type of people who insist on drinking only one specific brand of mineral water

[doalkaynaksuyu]

I want to edit dazai's face on a Beypazarı bottle for you. That's what your url + BSD art combo makes me think about

OMFG PLEASE DO I AM GOING TO CRY

[unproduciblesmackdown]

returning the favor: do you have any hcs re: winston, past or present, that you haven't expounded upon before or at length or just feel like talking about again. whatever you like

Thank You.......yeah idk really what hc's i've like "officially" described here that often lol, but then also there's that whole complication where i don't really ever come up with ideas & when asked anything i'm probably going [???] like, classics like "what do you like out of [broad parameter]" & it's like damn....i dunno. what ideas do i have about winsotn who i've thought about every day for > 2 yrs??? that's tough.....& Then the further chaos of like, when i do have hc's or w/e it's less discrete, concrete invented ideas & more towards the end of the spectrum that's like "well i kinda interpret this part of canon vaguely this way" &/or "i have This vague notion that i haven't solidified into a pretend fact or that i'm not at all committed to or take that seriously" where it's like, not only is this not really nailed down but it's basically free floating / i might have other ideas that would contradict each other lol. seems like a more concise list of Stats that are fully/exclusively my ideas is more exciting, but instead i can offer vague "i dunno / what ifs" based on vibes that i verbosely describe lmao, plus i'll forget a bunch of ideas i may have had i'm sure but you know. what else have i ever offered; never really trying to sell this material to otherwise uninterested parties or only make posts that guaranteed more than one person might enjoy, why would i be starting now; and ig if i write a bunch of stuff here & go "oh & i forgot like a half dozen obvious things" i can add on to it if it's a big deal.....plus it's always tricky with billions in particular being vague abt its own characters lmao, we only see [outside of work] personal stuff if it's going to become directly tied to [definitely at work] professional plotlines, or Maybe glimpse some character contextualizing things for the more central characters....side characters have more blanks to fill but also that means. just more that's blank lol & kinda a mystery of Up To Interpretation.....i figured one way to have any structure for this at all is to have a part looking at each winston involving episode's info. well anyways, after this meandering intro that kind of illustrates how i'm sure the rest of things will go here lol, i'm just gonna throw a bunch of stuff down in general. thanks again for the prompt to do so, b/c why not

really the one concrete discrete idea i have which isn't in the canon text is, of course: he is autistic

does he Know? idk. either way, think he's pretty aware of how he operates (& how he Can't operate), but if he doesn't know that's probably more for the "also: he's self loathing, which was basically textually implied" stuff lol. just mentioned it but i do always enjoy the tayston idea that taylor's talking abt in the past having it floated by a therapist/s or whomever that they could be autistic, them considering it but it not applying; winston going "hmm" & doing his own considering & researching & then maybe exclusively sharing the news w/taylor....but of course, maybe he's figured it out himself at some point before. i do think he'd figure it out himself though rather than anyone else directly suggesting it (maybe out here being diagnosed with "just the guy who sucks who we don't like / won't act right or normal" sort of usual experience) & i think, if he knows, he's not about to want ppl at work to know, b/c not as though anyone (but taylor & other quants) particularly seems to be impressed by his quanting proficiency, but he sure gets some validation/affirmation through that route (more re: that of course) and knows that ppl going "oh he's autistic so of course he's better at Doing Math / computer stuff as a like, mechanical efficiency sort of thing" or whatever. and the fact that taylor can interact with him / gives him some leeway to generally do his thing means he's kind of already got space to operate how he operates, see the start of this section....and idk. transitioning into the next section ig

just an Interpretation Of Canon thing here but, re: how these characters generally operate & what their reason is for being around doing stuff in the first place, i guess it's that winston does genuinely like to do & is interested in the math/coding stuff involved here, was also genuinely interested in working for taylor specifically (whatever The Hype specifically was), then you have taylor having the "despite your demeanor, your skills are superior" stance & appreciating what he can do & letting him do it by hiring him for real & all, & here we are, Q is for Quantitative, baby......he must find it rewarding enough to be getting to do this quanting stuff and also, the potential for validation when anyone recognizes he's good at it & by extension finds something about him good & wants him around to any degree

okay just that Episode By Episode stuff for a section here

3x03:

kinda extra room for interpretation b/c this was written as a one off character and reintroducing him in 3x09, written to be recurring, feels like it kinda offers a Soft Reboot for what we got here, where i guess how i take things is that we can suppose in both 3x03 & 3x09 winston's putting on a deliberate Performance to some degree based on what he thinks the potential employer wants to see, but it's also not completely fake / inaccurate either time, & like, maybe the 3x03 vibe wasn't a type of performance he'd only just ever put on for this axe cap interview, & even if it was deliberately bold maybe he was sort of thinking he Could bank on his value as a quant meaning he holds most of the cards (or can get away with acting like it)

building on that & as a More General point of interpretation again: think it's easy to suppose winston could've had an existence w/many elements of frustrations & disappointments & Rejection, but where like, he did figure out these areas of interest & proficiency that seemed to be a more positive force in his life, & leaned into them / focused on them further for it, & i could see him focusing on milestones / graduating from one thing to the next & conceptualizing like, well, if i just get to This point by working on This thing then i'll have it together & be able to move through existence more successfully, like, there's winston going into undergrad & kind of disappointed he's not having that good a time socially / feels like he's missing out / being left out still, but he can be like, well that's fine (: i'm totally fine abt it b/c i'm focusing on the Education & Experience here & when i'm entering the job market as an amazing quant anyone would want to hire then ppl will be seeing me in a positive light & things will fall into place / go great for me / i'll feel like i fit in & am doing things right within some structure. & i think maybe he Did have all those other job offers / opportunities & he was at least partly feeling a bit "objectively" confident, & also maybe just hoping he Could be that confident & that, you know, if he goes ahead & acts like that's the case, it could be confirmed / become true....anyways then obviously disillusionment time

since his outfits are introduced here: more "just how i'm interpreting canon" stuff in that i do just suppose he is mostly focusing on comfort & it'd kinda get in the way of things if he couldn't. flipflops might've been a statement piece but also i figure at least in part about the comfort / lack of much opportunity for restriction or ill fit or chafing texture or anything, same goes re: pants & shirts. interesting he likes to wear the patterned layers but doesn't really wear like, stripes or plaid ever. plus it could well be that Just A Tee is too informal unless you're the formalest of all by virtue of position, i.e. the ceo, but also we sure often enough see him wearing hoodies &/or multiple layers, like, maybe that's just for warmth or weight or what have you, always considering "what if it's about being self conchy as well (different way of saying self conscious)"

3x09:

so yeah with winston not having taken another job (at least maybe only like, temporary ones as these self contained gigs / just something to pay the bills) figure it's been a Depressive Period for him here lol & deliberately going on a journey of like self reflection / examination & going "haha yeah hated what i saw" is like, i don't think the self loathing is anything new, the confidence in 3x03 kind of an optimistic bandaid lol like well here's the new me as i understand / hypothesize / hope he could be, totally confident in being backed up by how valuable he is as a quant, then taylor kind of ripped that off and wound's open again but that wound was also not brand new or something he was unaware of / that didn't affect him before now

re: math meetup, i can see that being him presenting more evidence of his talent as a quant but also specifically going "see, i do this collaborative thing" to present this more conciliatory and cooperative approach to taylor, & am also taking it as evidence that he really does Enjoy math / coding stuff beyond it simply being a means to a professional end. i also like to think he has been / continues going to math meetup regularly, at least once a month, maybe every other week, and that it's this semi social event, like the relevant irl group you found back in the day that like, meets up for pizza before and drinks afterwards. i also like to think that, like, while he might come off as A Bit Much during said math meetup / just speak up frequently enough and often enough with some insistence lol, people Are there to meet up about the math and his contributions Are valued despite if his delivery/approach isn't always endearing or whatever. and even if he's not really popular / warmly embraced in the more [socializing event] bookends of the meetup, he's perfectly tolerated, and there's even a person or two or three (also regular attendees) who do vibe with him enough to like, invite / even want him to sit with them / talk with them outside that Math Setting. math meetup pals, maybe he doesn't meet up with these people outside these events but maybe they have each other's contacts and sometimes text. not these intimate personal relationships, but still something real and positive and refreshing. it'd be nice if math meetup could kinda be like what he hoped for from quanting, this way his math lets him "qualify" to access this group / activity, his aptitude "making up for" perceived lack of interpersonal / social charm & charisma & what have you, & having some reliably friendly people around even if of course that's not on its own going to mean he's totally socially fulfilled / not often lonely or anything. hc: he's often lonely & not totally socially fulfilled

he does, of course, want to work for taylor specifically, as long as they want him to, and this is sort of his second chance to find validation through working as a quant lol. think that yeah sure winston likes validation in general, who doesn't but also of course he's maybe a bit Above Average sensitive to / keen on it, but he'll also care about Affirmation if it's coming from people whose opinion he particularly values. think that it's easy to suppose he's also especially sensitive to taylor's assessments here thanks to the fact they really hit a (raw) nerve with him like, sure is the potential to get caught up in feedback loop city & say, have a few months mired in self loathing & an especial lack of certainty & confidence, if someone's kinda gone "i hate your self hatred" lol, but he also Did have this especial interest in / high opinion of taylor before that 3x03 interview, & so that's what continues to be part of it here

but then also interpreting that second 3x09 scene as like, he Does independently Know His Value as a quant and yknow not only has his pride but also can't and isn't going to first and foremost focus on trying to socially perform being peak Accommodating and Appealing here lol. but he still cares about what taylor thinks, wants to work for/with them, and i think it was Mutually Appreciated in the last scene that there was Mutual Effort to cooperate w/the other, giving him a Cue instead of just being mad & obfuscating it unless & until giving up on him completely or w/e is Constructive. interpreting winston as someone who sure can be a bit petty on purpose, especially in the face of some wounded pride (where he seems to take pride in his quant abilities & maybe not much of anything else: see the self loathing otherwise), but isn't really one to be deliberately antagonistic, especially not towards, yknow, the person he specifically wants to appeal to, but he also knows he can come off as grating whether inadvertently or not, so he might be testing the waters a little as well

3x11

he's using headphones even though no one else is in the room, that's a preference / he may also just like to block out other sound in general, as there's no audio of [winston's music faintly playing as / before he takes off his headphones] or indication he paused anything. does he like metal, what with the yngwie malmsteen reference? maybe, but that might just be a Billions Reference thing that isn't meant to indicate much / anything abt the specific character. i don't have any hcs about it anyways besides "okay" if so

first time we see his watch, it's not the calculator watch until s5 but i am a fan of said calc watch....gotta suppose it could represent him being here for the math of it all, what with how fancy/expensive watches are kinda the whole like status / power play thing, and a calculator watch is, afaik, not expensive, these casio calculator watch listings i'm seeing are all priced like, $15 to $25 range. so.

2nd scene is the first time we see sleeves pushed up, a frequent choice, maybe if he's focusing sleeves against forearms / Wrists & Hands can be bothersome. also not the first time he puts his hands in his pockets but i think that's a deliberate choice for winston's sort of Default Pose, equate it to the choice to have jared hang / hold on to his backpack straps.

guess he can also be a bit petty / rude / grating on purpose if ppl are getting in the way of his mathing / coding or otherwise thwarting it, at least probably taylor can relate / sympathize what with them wanting to Get It Right / being bothered if people get it wrong but could've avoided this

noticing all the caffeine and the fact he maybe didn't leave the basement / was powering through that project All At Once....just noting that down as a potential Approach, wanting to not interrupt focus &/or bear down & keep a fairly intense pace until it's finished / stay in the zone or what have you

definitely doing some deliberately cocky Testing / pushing back / amicable power struggle with taylor there, confirming he does have leverage due to that quanting ability after all, Despite His Demeanor / not being "sweet"

by this point definitely consciously kinda wants taylor to rail him.

4x03

i have no concrete hc's of instances inspiring winston to think he's "always seeing the future" but god i wish he did. he's right a lot though, maybe he just notices as much lol

talking mostly to taylor here, then concluding with "i only thought it but didn't say it; doesn't count....damnit." like he wants Their validation thanks, even if recognizing his Win here still wouldn't help them either way....also first time we see him w/coworkers for real, he's really freely Interacting.....time to go ahead and say he'd like to be work friends / at least have friendly interactions at work, might be a bit desperate for such positive social interactions, especially in this environment where he thinks the "objectively" good thing about him is most relevant, but it's cringe & fail (&/or vulnerable to Attack) to outright Want something, like validation / affirmation / a positive response or a simple "yeah you're right" "positive" response

first Space Shirt, followed by ones that are like, also &/Or Sci Fi Shirts. does he like space? i guess so

he's autistic

4x08

here & in 4x11, we don't know how he's gotten this info about taylor re: the arc w/their dad or with axe cap, but he's apparently mused on it on his own like this & isn't just quoting what someone else told him about how taylor must feel about xyz & how that might apply to the situations at hand, even though (unless he cassandra'd it) he wouldn't've had that much cause to suppose it'd definitely be relevant to have ideas about how taylor feels / is navigating a situation & why, maybe he just likes to be prepared like that / stay in the loop but yknow, maybe he's just also interested in them as a person beyond what's most immediately relevant to him doing quant stuff for them

he's already done the sort of kicking himself / wincing / apologizing or agreeing he fucked up an exchange thing before but, the genuine disappointment / momentary discouragement in it always lol....self loathing guy

love how he has these little like, clarifying explanations of things. "total control of the instrument," "always seeing the future," "because i win".....he's out here wanting to communicate to connect & to be understood, not so much as a potential for a power play / status climb and thus a conflict.....can see ppl who are used to / Do see interactions in that light to interpret winston yelling about having won as a like, rubbing it in people's faces show of superiority thing, but pretty sure he's just excited and wants a high five

4x11

having talked about the fact none of the desks in the tmc hq main floor seem to be winston's (& knowing that Could just be wroland not being reliably available to be in the bg of shots lol, analyzing s4 shots for some Consistently Empty desk) but it is fun to also consider that maybe tmc Could've had a secret extension in that that quant haunt in the basement was kept. a little more furnishing and it could be pretty chill, even though the lack of windows might not always be ideal. where's he sit!

also the whole "guy who'd be the first one smothered" moment like, guess i could've mentioned it in 3x03 more but yeah my Headcanon here is that winston maybe has a master's degree, not a phd though (him saying "50 phds" in 3x11 i think was meant to differentiate from him on both points, aka he's 1 guy, without a phd) & this is his first "real" job in any field. b/c i'm guessing like, people are here to get Paid, but as mentioned w/the watch (& just how winston acts in general, he doesn't really seem like he's raring to show off / really take advantage of having money or anything) it doesn't seem like he's, like, the "exceptionally focusing on personally making as much as possible" guy, and lauren's remark seems to emphasize / place the context on winston just not having like, savings from prior salaried years at a job or anything, more of a practical matter, maybe he's out here hoping for some more financial security, also they are all living in nyc, so. on that note, maybe he has an okay apartment but like, not without problems / not absolutely ideal, but it's okay. this would just be Convenient as an hc also lol

don't think the monologue was completely memorized, but it wasn't completely off the cuff either, he'd maybe been brainstorming scripts in his head / had some particular parts solidified word for word, but also hardly think he was guaranteed planning to deliver an admonishlogue at all, seems like it was some important factors that he was just kind of already irritated, nobody was listening / people Were social pressuring him to drop it or not interested in entertaining like "yeah i think you should talk to taylor about it" at all, think it was clear that talking to others was only going to lead to them telling him to drop it / trying to not have anyone say anything to taylor, and then that taylor just jumped in, which i hardly think he was hoping for

always Something that we can expressly see winston moving to sit down in that soon to be empty meeting room as everyone else is clearly filing out lol, like, can see how he might not be able to go "well, back to work" immediately and need some irritation / feeling like shit / guess who just got yeeellllllllllled aaaaaat to burn off, might need some time to absorb "well i guess i just deferred so no bonus as was probably expected," but can also suppose that maybe when winston gets majorly Shut Down he has shutdowns. saying all of four words in the wake of things, otherwise the fact he has this approach of tensing up, not talking at all, kind of just holding onto eye contact as his last way of "properly" participating in the exchange w/o bailing entirely, while also outwardly withering, like clearly these kinds of moments are pretty significantly affecting....feels like he could find it difficult to talk much, or at all, in the wake of some / need some time to recuperate a bit & have some distance & quiet & not just jump back into work like he's having a fine and normal time. sometimes pondering like, not only those notions like taylor insisting winston not be Interrupted when he hasn't technically started talking yet (giving him the buffering / latency time) but also like, fun kinda imagining them sitting across from each other having a texting conversation....or times winston would rather have an exchange via email......or make use of the sticky notes......or just have taylor talking to him and picking up on his nonverbal responses

winston's very Not present in tmc meetups / get togethers this season & again we know that this could be because his actor wasn't very available but it's still the case In Canon that there's only so many tmcers and they're all seeing each other outside work / market hours for varyingly formal or informal purposes & he's never included. & simultaneously hold the hc's that he could be choosing not to go or he could just never be invited in the first place l o l.....in either of these situations the reason for declining to go or being excluded could be up to "b/c other ppl don't like having him around" and idk, best case scenario is he doesn't want to go for some other reason, but he acts pretty okay with the All Hands meetups we do see / when in meetings with the other named employees he's pretty raring to interact with them, so :/

4x12

i do like to think it's fun to imagine What If Taylor Had A Phonecall With Winston Before This Monologue; someone once told me that explaining is an admission of failure, i'm sure you remember, i was on the phone with you, sweetheart.....just them both having a more sympathetic approach with each other and a sort of dialed back reconciliation, tbt 3x09, without an audience / roomful of other people

do think that his wearing a tmc logo tee into axe cap hq was a deliberate Statement Piece, like wearing flipflops into axe cap in his true first time being there lol

first time we see the backpack, & the headphones (in this season), like the point you (nothingunrealistic) made about the backpack possibly kind of exerting pressure / compression in a Sensory Way. let's see it again

as good a time as any to bring up how it's such a consistent pattern that it Must be a choice that winston smiles in this direction :/ and grimaces / winces / frowns this way :\ but a choice of the actor of course, was it ever a conscious thing on winston's end, would not put it beyond the realm of possibility he's ever consciously thought of stuff like "even if words fail me(tm) i Gotta hang on to eye contact".....i'm thinking of times he is smiling hard enough that you just gotta do it more symmetrically, like here in 4x12

5x01

he likes bagels

think that this could've been another case of "people who are used to interactions used for conflict / power plays / stepping on other people to status climb (axe cappers in general, maybe team ben having to be extra prone to be on the lookout for these strategies when they're more often on the receiving end of them) misinterpreting winston socializing as means of connection (wanting to talk about the common work thread / interest with coworkers)"

even if for some reason quants were cold shouldering axe cappers like, a sound strategy even if team ben are worthy exceptions. Winston Can Get Petty When People Blame Quants Talking About Being Quants For Axe Cappers Harassing Tmc & also when in the process of doing so everyone's like "also you're smarter than us but no you're not, any math quants could do fundamental analysts could do better" like, winston getting more deliberately antagonistic when ppl are going after his Math Aptitude / value as a quant when that's his "objective" point of pride & confidence & possibly like haha self loathing can't get me here

5x02

winston's decimal points being more precise here i think indicates that the show is not taking the stance of "yeah the quants are just any old analysts with an attitude of superiority" lol

do think he selected that particular seating placement b/c it's like, hey furthest away from axe cap, most aligned with taylor's desk & angled towards it, perfect.....what a letdown

guess this episode suggests he and mafee have chats sometimes, and winston maybe confides At All Sensitive Info w/the guy? bold

always just smh like well thank god we were given this subplot where winston was a plot device really for dollar bill's arc or whatever............what a gift

5x03

just noticing as always how winston is the one person saying they should go for it vs the other two's skepticism / trepidation, and taylor decides to go for it.....they do value his input / trust his judgment

i am also noticing how often winston, as the math guy who doesn't really fit in w/ the whole axe / caply approach & style, has this role in giving taylor these crucial opportunities to pursue their own direction rather than be mired down in the misery of axe cap determining everything....3x11 & his algorithm letting them break completely away from axe cap, 4x11 & his admonishlogue making some Points & then next episode taylor does decide to abandon the revenge jag & says they were wrong & they're sorry....5x03 & this nlp strategy plotline being the first thing taylor could actively pursue for tmc after 2 eps of being dragged painfully through axe cap nonsense, & the fact this, in the next episode, leads to the Impact Fund idea / mase carb

5x04

see that last point

5x05

guess that until confirmed, The Glances being significant is a Headcanon Interpretation lol. anyways i do like taylor giving him these discreet, nonverbal cues as a very deliberate method of communication titrated betwixt them

oh right and an Age Cue here, before that was nailed down i think i already hc'd winston as either the same age as, or a year older than taylor, and that's still true lol, think that's how it goes with the timelines (taylor's being kinda uncertain, and winston's as well, having prior just kinda gone "well if taylor's 22 when they show up as the typical post undergrad age, and each season spans approx a year, and maybe winston spent just a year or two post undergrad getting a master's b/c nothing nails down how long it would take & he could've kinda been ahead of the curve as it were, he could be, say, 23 thru 25 in s3 when he shows up, to taylor's Maybe 23" as the Idea)

just wants to work for taylor as long as they'll have him, but would also like to be openly valued / affirmed on a pretty basic level lol...

one of those matters that's like, i do think that this is what the material is Trying to convey but it's not concrete / explicit, in that i think winston somewhat Likes rian right off lol like. i mean he's also still annoyed on principle, this is maybe his replacement & that stings that it's even a possibility & of course he has reason to want to feel like "oh well this person Clearly sucks" lol, but then there he is trying to scope out the situation & get immediate intel & it's like, here's this fellow 20something you immediately think is pretty (the mental comparison to an A lister as a dunk, lmao) & you see her being perfectly friendly with your nice coworker you're also friendly enough with, that's one degree of separation, now here he comes talking about how cool & epic & smart & capable she is, again makes sense he's still first & foremost bothered by the situation & has cause to just be more jealous about how well everyone immediately thinks of her (see: winston making bad first impressions that may never be undone, the fact other coworkers were probably never going around openly impressed with / praising him after meeting him for 5 sec, or like, ever) but i suppose this immediate underlying sense of attraction / affinity hits in that First Sighting as well

love that we see the feet up on the desk show of confidence again, very funny & glad it's back.....a tool in his arsenal for when he's Very Bothered But (unsuccessfully) Acting Very Unbothered / when he's trying to pitch for his employment lol

when did he have a first gf? perfect time for an hc.....feels like it'd have been like, idk, older high schoolers at the youngest, that kind of emotional commentary....or in college. sometimes pondering the idea like, what if he had a bf first actually.....or not, & Feeling A Way around other guys sometimes like, hmm guess i think this guy is pretty cool &/or i'm kinda like "god i wish that were me" about, then some more noticeable Tension as he's older even if he can't really discern the reason b/c this person's pretty nice & cool actually, hmm. then one day you're doing hw together with a while for code to compile & Oh Hey Lol

meanwhile think clearly rian defuses the Reason For Rivalry (and also clearly immediately likes him / interacting with him & you know, outright sticks up for him & in this significant way) & then when they connect over Math it's all coming together very outright like Oh Hey Lol 😳

also he Gets Right Back To Work easily enough, & like, i think already there's a deliberate performance of "i'm now totally unbothered," but he's just pretty good at shaking things off apparently. & he kind of has to be, to not bail completely or else tamp down his own personality / avoid interactions, but you know. plus that like, he may get irritated when his pride's wounded but around here people can have a whole crisis & arc about it if their egos are bruised in the slightest, so like. pretty blasé

5x06

this isn't really any hc or Interpretation by any stretch but this is the first time we've seen winston pull that particular attitude in that second scene with rian and it's beautiful.....if something's bothering him he's so often like outright indignant but this is like, i'm Bothered but i'm being so dignant about it, for like 4 sec

also the bright green hoodie / bright, high contrast, geometric blockbuster tee is so Vivid but like, always noting how he wears relatively colorful outfits. fun to go "maybe this one's deliberately extra eye catching b/c of this new crush" lol

5x07

the difficulty in reading that much into things when the lack of sobriety could be making any & everything an outlier, & can't even really read into "apparently down to take stimulants (beyond caffeine) on a dime" b/c well, so is everyone else, so that this situation can unfold, we knew he had a crush on rian (or i guess we didn't, but this is pretty direct about it), we knew he likes validation, taylor Knows him well enough that it's not just like "oh he's acting weird? well that's winston for you" to them, which we also knew but it's fun to confirm further lol

and now for some more free floating / general concepts

family? i have no idea. feel like he either has no siblings or several but yknow, anything's possible. we know what he's like Now, don't think he got that solid self esteem / self confidence as an emergent quality from [everything that happened to him before 3x03] & don't suppose he has this like, rock solid close warm familial relationship of understanding & unconditional love & support w/whoever he grew up with, parents or siblings or whoever he lived with....like, the relationship/s could be Fine but you know, still not all that close

i don't think he was every completely friendless (or if he was, it didn't last Too long) in terms of like, throughout school maybe he had some pals, no amazing close [fingers crossed Like That] ones where someone had like, grown up as his next door bestie and they did everything together & knew everything about each other, nothing all that close, but he had people to sit with at lunch or what have you, even if at times like, the table nobody else really sits at but the people who don't have anywhere else to sit lmao. maybe some slightly closer friendships here & there, but people often kind of got subsumed into other friend groups that he wasn't otherwise a part of / otherwise just kind of gradually distanced again...but also possible he had perfectly amicable occasions of like, maybe only having a class or two with certain people, not striking up intimate friendships but hitting it off well enough.........like, winston's out here Not having been stomped down into suppressing his personality all the time, he's still fairly earnest & forthcoming & eager to connect, just sort of vaguely going for "he maybe have always had this element of discouragement & disappointment re: socializing / connecting / forming relationships / sometimes just being accepted on a basic level, but he also didn't have his spirit totally extinguished either" although there's also the room for stuff like, yknow, him Holding Out Hope like "well nobody likes me now / i'm unhappy but maybe once i'm in college [gets to college & still isn't having a great time] okay well once i Enter The Workforce" lol. you know

but it's also like, hardly think he's Only Just Now experiencing the [winston: ___ everyone: get his ass] type stuff & pushback & punishment & disdain over not really doing anything but people hate his style & vibe, & feel like there's also still room for like, yep wow got burned sometimes / having had some pretty negative experiences......we do have to end up in this place where, you know, 3x03 happens and he doesn't just go "guess finance isn't for me!" & dust himself off & go get some Guarantees from some tech firms, & instead he's Really Glad [Taylor] Called & hasn't taken some other more desired job between 3x03 & that call & is immediately like "good news: i do hate myself" so like, can't see him having just thrived his way to this point....evidently not all dating relationships have been just epic highs & victories, maybe he has those math meetup pals now & maybe idk there's other people he's in sort of in contact with, maybe people from college / grad school or the like, still not that close, figure he's generally been lonely like, overall, despite regularly enough seeking out / striving for connections

oh yeah speaking of, the idea that he has a cat maybe lol, in part simply for company, a little guy that lives in your house / apartment....but also maybe he doesn't

always just some general notions like, also idk maybe he engages in hobbies, talks to people through that just like with math meetup....talked about the Embroidery idea, got that computers/programming connection, was thinking like, idk fuck it amateur photography, develop your own film, maybe he took a class in college or high school or something, same with like, maybe he plays a musical instrument, said "the cello, why not" about that as an early [shrug] idea lol. he does like space, maybe he does Anything with that....rip to any astronomy clubs In Nyc like, guess you're not seeing shit, but. 4x11 au, after deferring his bonus he goes to some cool cinematographic celestial occasion like taylor & the sea glass fish carousel lmao. taylor catches up & they have their [i'm sure you remember, i was on the phone with you, sweetheart] exchange lol.....except also not, b/c you wouldn't really want to have Parallels with m/any moments ft. wendy & taylor :/

recalled like a particularly casual / throwaway idea about like "lol what if he was somewhat thalassophobic" in part b/c once actor william dropped that lore abt himself in an interview, but. could have somewhat some other phobia/s. or not really any! what a world

maybe sometimes he's out here like, single & ready to Fuck like, focusing on just hooking up w/people sometimes rather than really looking to date at the juncture, although it could both be true like, he'd Like to be dating but also doesn't really currently want to do all the Putting Himself Out There & such of seeking it out / trying to consciously navigate it, but sometimes it's more manageable like, just wanting to have sex. looking out for himself when he can & how he can lol

speaking of, some vague sexy hcs

gets pegged

especial fan of Tongue Against Tongue texture, enjoys some Grounding elements to avoid being overwhelmed / narrow things to the more relevant sensory input at hand, like the weight/pressure of a partner leaning / lying against him / holding him tightly, if he's overwhelmed in a good way / kinda got some sensory overflow in a good way he might cry during sex In A Good Way lol, took some time maybe in his Personal Sexual Experience to figure out some general differences in "what he doesn't like at all" or "what's off the table / too unpleasant for him at some times but Not necessarily at all times & might be completely enjoyable sometimes," like, am i willing to perform oral sex, am i willing & Enthusiastically so, is that way too much actually, it can be all of them at varying times....maybe in more everyday general situations he refrains from stims in front of others unless stressed enough, but while having sex with someone especially if at all nervous it's like, there can be this transition between repressing stims & being more unfiltered / uninhibited where they kind of build up & then come through in kicks only to be reined back in, either like, he simply does go for a more reined in approach the whole time or anyone else is willing to ride this out with him / he kind of has the time & space to figure out more of a flow, in which case he might still stim but you know, not as though people aren't used to stims in this situation, i.e. reacting to stimulation with movement & vocalization is at least expected & it could once again be like "well he's a bit weird with it but hey" lol or you know, not that some partners can't be understanding or have had experience w/similar partners. hardly make or break but this can be a vulnerable interaction here / hard to shake the self consciousness & sense of "i Do have to filter myself and act The Right Way" all at once just b/c you'd want to

hey and let him sing karaoke or something lmao, winston is as Dramatic as he is, he would give a performance. work in a way to let everyone who sings sing around lol, could throw in some Affectations so that it's like yeah winston can sing without having to be like "wow winston, when'd you become a trained broadway performer" lmao. imagine. which reminds me of the time will joked about like, oh yeah winston Gets That A Lot re: people recognizing he looks like the guy in deh, aka will roland....the limitations of "this is set in real nyc" including occasional references to recent / popular shows, fuck it maybe will roland does also exist in the billions universe. well anyways it would be fun. the karaoke anyways, and that he'd give a top tier Performance whether or not people are first and foremost enjoying his technical / artistic skill at the art of singing, it'd at least be personality infused and engaging

taking it way back to the ideas about winston's social misadventures in general, i'm sometimes considering for fics i never end up writing if he might have some like, misgivings / anxieties about like, is this person i Like acting like they maybe Like me back as some kind of elaborate joke, & maybe the caution comes from experience like you know, classic over the line "pranks" like asked out As A Joke, kissed As A Dare that he wasn't aware of, think there could be like, would be Friendship / friendly acquaintanceship experiences in there where such "pranks" / "jokes" / "messing with him" (and not in a good way) could happen, or even just you know, more Spontaneously, don't even know this person & he's treated as a joke for other ppl's entertainment, realizing at the time or retrospectively like oh maybe i was more being bullied then having any positive social interaction / getting to feel at least "included" or what have you, like, the idea of getting to hang out with a group as The Funny Guy, but he's had these experiences getting to hang out with a group & realize it's b/c they thought he was funny / Amusing in a laughing At him, not with him way, which is easy also b/c winston isn't really out here trying to be funny that we've seen lol. only realizing he was still being excluded after some time / distance from the situation, or escalating open hostility / just more blatant meanness / over the line shit from some people, maybe some stuff that just immediately feels shitty but he figured was just like, well idk, maybe that's normal & still friendly, maybe it also felt more outright embarrassing / demeaning at the time but it's like haha yeah you got me :'] at the time just to save any face lol.....possible unexpected / spontaneous amicability in his socializing history, but also shittiness, whether it's coming at him all at once or he's kind of holding out hope like, well, i just keep at it / have a Friendly attitude here and surely i'll make friends b/c if people didn't like me At All why are they talking to me / letting me be here at all.....

always kind of pondering Fashion Variation, we haven't seen it but it could be possible, musing on "what would he think Looks Good On Him / how does he feel capable of like, dressing for romantic success or what have you lol" like, was the vivid 5x06 outfit anything, cue the drawing like, a bralette & short shorts is shaking it up and could be a Felt Cute outfit and could also be comfortable enough....not always That much room in men's(tm) fashion before you start having to be aware of [Gender] and dunno that winston out here has had the inspiration / motivation / opportunity to consider / try out / explore but hey. what are we here for

just remembered that post like "uhh i just saw a guy crying in the library & then his phone alarm went off & he stopped crying, opened his laptop & started typing / it's called time management" lmao like winston's not out here having the Most amazing time, he could have such Time Management experiences of like, letting it out some on purpose but then reining it right back in, and/or just like some spontaneous paroxysms of crying for a minute or two more unexpectedly in a "do you ever [experience a tiny inconvenience] & realize the thread by which you're hanging on is quite thin" way or otherwise, you know, oops experienced this frustration & now i'm crying over it, or idk, just feeling a bit more vulnerable for whatever reason & something has unexpectedly plucked some emotional string attached to another string attached to another & the resonance = i'm crying now ig. he can't be Thriving out here & i don't think he's all about having such a stranglehold on emotions that he's like oh tf i Never cry (aside from having sex, in a good way)

although speaking of like, emotional repression, maybe he's out here just "good at" compartmentalizing some experiences lol in that "well anyways, back to work" way & stuff like, sure he knew he was risking it in 4x11 but it also did not seem to affect his dynamic with mafee at all lmao like wow.....

think that him not really having anything on his work desk is a choice / preference but also am not sure that that really applies to anything else lmao. what if he had a little plant. that'd be funny

oh yeah and the idea that winston might literally have like prophetic dreams & they're just kind of a nuisance to him but sometimes they can be plot devices in fics (that don't exist) about him kissing people

well i'm just calling it a night there lol but like, it always feels Lacking writing out hc's like, plenty of ideas but also hardly any, and yet the fact that other individual ideas are so Vague / casual that it wouldn't be like "oh i gotta share this via post or manifesting it some other way" so then it feels like, oh no, if i don't list absolutely Everything on something that's specifically a list of hc's, i can never talk about whatever gets left out......and just that like, i ought to have a bunch of really specific, concrete, unique Factoids about winston here to be of any interest but hey lmao. that hypothetical set of concepts is never gonna happen, & the Ultimate Comprehensive List Of Everything I've Ever Pondered Re: Winston is also going to be difficult lmfao (not as though that's what you've asked in the first place) but you know, we took a swing at things here & covered some ground & the thinking about & talking about winston never ends, & this isn't really a post meant to have broad appeal / if you're not already having fun reading vague musings about the quant then i'm sorry you're reading this after having read all that and gone "wow, i'm disappointed" lmao but hey, weird choices made to bring you to this point......also god knows plenty of hcs are more filed away under specific like [Tayston], [Benston], [Riawin] sort of things (lol, [Mafon]) b/c on the one hand, i find it easier to kind of think in Scenarios and the details particular to the "scenes" therein, but i am also not good at thinking of those scenarios! out here operating on vibes, he's autistic and wants to kiss taylor (also now rian but that's kinda right in canon, not just my head) and that's really the crucial info here

[thehungryplaice]

5 Great Ideas For Your 80s Themed Party!

https://www.the-hungryplaice.uk/10-ideas-for-your-80s-themed-party

You want an 80s Themed Party? You've come to the right place I'm more than happy to help as I'm a big fan of the 80s! Here are 5 things that you ought to consider for your 80s Themed Party...

1. 80s Themed Food and Drink

We've got that one covered for you at The Hungry Plaice take your guests back in time with our Old Fashioned Vintage Fish and Chip Vans, we have Betty and Beryl in our fleet and we serve Hand Battered Traditional Fish And Chips, sadly without the newspaper as Food Safety stopped all that! Our van Betty was a working van on a Chip round back in the 80s and is thought to be the only one still in service all these years later so you'll be guaranteed to have something really special at your event. If you wanted to put together your own food there are some other ideas you could try... How about Chicken and Chips served from Baskets, a bit like the ones you can sometimes get in Bowling Alleys, you might be able to pick up some baskets on Ebay and then you can always sell them again once you are done. For a Cheesy Party you'll need an abundance of cheesy food and cheese balls always go down a storm, you could even consider the good old pineapple and cheese on sticks! There are lots of snacks you could have for a buffet including Twiglets, Bacon Rashers Crisps and Pickled Onion Monster Munch, there's Peanuts, Wotsits and Space Raiders. You could even make some cakes or cookies with a Retro 80s theme, there are some great cookie trays shaped like Pac-Man you can find on Ebay. Vol au Vents were big back then and they are easy to make with no end of fillings you could add, here is a basic recipe for you....... https://www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/2219652/party-volauvents Your sweet table could have a selection of Old Fashioned Retro Sweets like Hubba Bubba, Flying Saucers, Love Hearts and Dib Dabs to take some people back to their childhood. There are some great deals on Ebay where packs are sold or you could take a trip to your local wholesalers where you can still buy them in bulk. Don't forget to have Angel Delight and some Trifles, Jelly (and alcohol flavoured jelly shots), Wall's Vienetta and Arctic Roll. Your drinks selection could include old fashioned style retro glass bottles of soft drinks like Cloudy Lemonade, Shandy or Ginger Beer and you could have a few bottles of Babychams and Blue Nuns kicking about! If you are lucky enough to have or know someone with one of those old Teasmade's machine maybe you could have that hooked up on a table so people can have a cup of tea when they're bored of downing the jelly shots!

2. Your 80s Theme

The theme of your party is the 80s but you could go for something more specific in the decade to make things more interesting. How about having a TV/Movie themed 80s Party? You could ask your guests to dress up as 80s movie characters and have your decor to match, maybe you particularly like a certain TV programme or theme like The A Team, Knightrider, Top Gun or Dirty Dancing and everything is themed along those lines or maybe have a mix up of two. Your theme could be 80s Gaming, your guests could be asked to dress up as 80s gaming characters like Pac-man, Super Mario, King Kong or Paperboy, maybe they could come dressed as a Nintendo Gameboy. Have you considered a Roller Disco theme? Everyone could bring along some Roller Skates with Huge Socks and you can have a 80s themed disco, it would be great fun to see how many times people would be falling over after a few drinks! A simple 80s theme could be just made up of colours it would be easy to use neons or bright yellows, pinks and blues, everything could be aligned to the colour scheme to ensure it all matches. You could extend your theme to any invites you send out to show your guests what to expect at the party the list really is endless.

3. 80s Fancy Dress

This is such an easy one as there is so much to choose from! If your 80s Party theme is general 80s with a Fancy Dress Code, there are loads and loads of options for clothes to wear, you really want to try to stay away from buying new at any shops and get your guests to scour Charity Shops, Ebay and Facebook, you might want to get a pile of clothes yourself to put in a box for your guests to pick and choose what they want when they arrive just be careful you wash any of those second hand clothes to keep everyone happy! There are leggings, hairbands, tracksuits velour and shell, sports jackets, ballet skirts, t-shirts with acid smiley faces, big Earrings, Jewellery, Trainers and Hairbows to name just a few things a quick search on Google will point you in the right direction! Remember to go cheap to save yourself money and then you can always sell the clothes on when you're done!

4. 80s Music For Your 80s Themed Party

I am sure we don't need to go into the various types of 80s music there is out there... If you've got loads of money to splash out on the music at your 80s themed party the obvious answer is to get a DJ in, tell them about your 80s them and insist that they play nothing else. If you wanted a really good 80s music theme there are other ways to set your music up. You could go cheap get one of your bluetooth speakers get your playlist on your phone or laptop link it all up and off you go....or how about something far more genuine 80s..... Get hold of an old Hi-fi system with a Tape Deck and find some of those big freestanding speakers and put the 80s Now Collection on loop! It might not give out the best sound quality but it could be more in line with the look of your party! You could hire one of those dancefloors with the clear box flooring which light up with different colours, perhaps you will want to add a bit of cardboard on the floor for anyone who wants to attempt a bit of breakdancing...

5. Decorations

Decorations will be key to creating your 80s themed party. There are 80s themed partywares with the normal tableware, balloons and hanging items with 80s emblazoned across and with all the 80s colours being sold online but you could go a little bit more authentic, how about looking around for 80s themed items that you could scatter about to give your party a unique 80s feel. If you've chosen a specific 80s TV or film theme, it's easy to find things you could use to decorate with that in mind I'm sure there are lots of items you could pick up to do with flying and planes for your Top Gun theme. You might want to head down to a local carboot to find an old 80s side table to put up somewhere in the room you could use it for your buffet table or fill it with some 80s goodies or food. Find an old Boombox, old gaming systems, black and white TVs, walkmans, Rubix cubes, Computers or one of the old dial telephones you could put on the side somewhere it doesn't matter if they are not working as they are only for show and if they don't work or turn on they will be much cheaper to buy. See if you have any old metal signs of 80s Brands that you could put up and cover the walls with posters from 80s Films and TV there are websites where you can add photos and print them off with A4 paper and turn into huge sized posters. Tap into the selfie craze and dot some Polaroid Cameras around the room, you could hire a more vintage Photobooth which produces the old style photos with the white edging and get a box of 80s themed clothes and items for your guests to put on, pose and take photos with.

I hope this has given you some ideas about the sorts of things you could plan into your 80s themed party, there are lots of other resources around so do some digging around to see what else you can do, if you are looking for food please check out our 80s Fish and Chip Van Hire we would be happy to send you a quote....... ......hope you have fun at your 80s themed party save me some cheese!

https://www.the-hungryplaice.uk/10-ideas-for-your-80s-themed-party

[xxgoblin-dumplingxx]

Sick Little Games: Three

A.C.

Natasha Romanoff sat at the counter sipping coffee and tried to think of where you might have gone. Unfortunately, you could be literally anywhere. She wanted to tell herself that she wasn’t disappointed, or worse, hurt that you didn’t say goodbye before you left. But then, you hated goodbyes. And it wasn’t personal. When you got the urge to go, sometimes you just needed to go. 

“What’s the matter, Eeyore, lost your tail?” Clint asked, helping himself to a mug of coffee and a pastry.

The spy huffed a laugh and sighed, “Just worried about Y/N, I guess. There are some pieces from the last few weeks that don’t set right.”

Clint nodded, “I know,” he said, “For a second, I thought she had a crush on someone, but... I don’t know.”

“A crush on someone?” Natasha asked, “And we never talked about it?”

Clint smiled a little, “It might have been a little wishful thinking,” he admitted. The redhead smiled a little, “Clint,” she started. But he held up a hand.

“I knew it was a long shot. I mean. By the time I realized I had liked her, she was already gearing up to run off for a while.”

“How long have you liked her?”

“Pretty much from the minute she handed me a plate of pizza and introduced herself... but I figured she was out of my league.” He sipped his coffee, and the redhead rested her head on his shoulder.

“She’ll be back,” Natasha said, bracingly.

“I know,” Clint said, “And I’m not gonna lie. I hope she comes back soon.”

___________________

B.C.

“Do I have to go to this thing?” You grouse, tugging the skirt of your dress down. 

“It’s just a press event, Y/N,” Steve said, straightening his cuff, “And you’re an Avenger. The whole team is going.”

“Yeah, but no one knows who I am, so like... If I don’t go will anyone notic-” you trail off as Clint walks through the door in jeans and a hoodie, “Oh come on,” you groan, “How come Clint gets to wear jeans and I have to wear a dress?”

“You have nicer legs,” Nat said, linking her arm through yours and half dragging you to a car.

“I want my objections noted,” you huff.

“Noted and ignored,” Tony said, sliding into the limo across from you, smirking when you pout. “Y/N,” he said, “It’ll be fine. Just don’t hex anyone and don’t  wander too far down a rabbit hole when you answer questions.”

“And then, when someone tries to kidnap me and burn me at the stake after my face has been all over the news?”

“Kill them,” Natasha said practically.

“Is that still a going concern?” Tony asked, “Should we tell security to turn away and monks with pitchforks?”

You shrug. Trying not to think of the last guy you’d tried to date. The one that had grabbed you by the hair and half dragged half threw you onto a pile of kindling. It had been horrifying. You’d been really in love. Really. Really in love. And he’d just wanted you dead.

When you look out the window to avoid looking at either of them, Tony and Nat trade looks. 

They know you. And they know when you’re hiding something. Everyone does. Natasha is fond of saying that you’re a great Witch, but you’d make a lousy spy. Feelings aren't something you can easily conceal. Not usually. 

“Y/N,” Tony started carefully.

“I’m not talking about it,” you say, not looking away from the window. You’d met him at a press event. He’d given you a drink of water and hadn’t treated you like part of the three-ring circus. 

Natasha kissed your cheek, “I wasn’t going to ask.”

“I was,” Tony interrupted, “What the fuck?”

“It’s a long story. Suffice to say, I’m still alive despite the bumbling efforts of a would-be witch hunter.”

“Those are still a thing?” Tony shouted, “Why didn’t you tell us?”

You shrug, “What good would it have done?”

Tony scowled at you, and you could see him gearing up for interrogation and a dad lecture. Six years and he still struggled with your perpetual babyface. Everyone did. You looked young, and thus, they tended to treat you as the team baby, Thankfully, the limo stopped, and the doors opened. Tony stepped out and then Natasha, leaving you a second to breathe and get ready for the onslaught. Only the really obsessive fans knew who you were. Only the most religious media outlets even paid you any mind. The WITCH, the godless, immoral, child-snatching witch. Still, you smiled vaguely and nodded, in the back of your mind wandering your Mother’s garden. The smell of herbs and the sound of cicadas making the world foggy around the edges. Blunting the chaos.

No one at the luncheon was interested in you, thankfully. It made it easier for you to slip away. To hide. You’d snatched a glass of champagne and found a little shaded bench to sit on. Somewhere tucked by a potted plant and a column. It made you hard to spot. For most people. 

Not Bucky, though. Bucky had been watching you. You looked uncomfortable in your tight little dress and heels. Eyes and lips painted. Hair pulled into a tight, uncomfortable-looking bun in an attempt to stop the talking heads from insisting you were too young to be an Avenger. Again. Bucky saw you, tucking yourself away. Hiding. And he got an idea. A brilliant idea. There was a woman. Some model or other that had been shooting him looks all afternoon. And she. Amber or whatever. She was a dream. Built and stacked in such a way that she was everything he’d dreamed of when he first put on his dress uniform. The kind of dame he could happily spend a couple breathless hours with... As long as she didn’t try to talk too much. He didn’t really know what was so important about “followers” or why it mattered that her handbag cost $1000, but... he figured he could keep her busy. Or at least keep her mouth full if they went out.

It didn’t take much to talk her out to the balcony. Out where you could hear the things he had to say. Where he could show you the type of woman, he was really interested in. He boxed you in. You couldn’t go without giving away your position. You couldn’t do anything but sit and listen to him romancing another girl. Watch him act out some of your pretty little daydreams with someone else. Those pretty little pastel thoughts he knew that some kind of girls held in their chest. All those secret hopes. As his lips trailed over Amber’s throat, the scruff of his beard making her giggle (a chattering sound that reminded him of some weird species of lemur), he idly wondered if you’d named the kids you probably wanted to have with him. He scoffed to himself. You probably still thought a white picket fence was possible. With anyone. 

He could hear the hurt as he propositioned the woman to drop by later for a “tour” of the compound. He could practically hear your heart crack as your heart rate sped up, and you struggled to breathe as you choked back tears. He felt, for a second, as Amber sashayed back inside, a niggling, sense of wrongdoing. But he squished it down with the heel of his boot as he ground out the cigarette Amber had carelessly discarded. 

He wandered back inside and ignored the sound of a soft whimper and the rustle of fabric as you scrambled to look through your bag for a tissue. His plan was going well. 

That was good.

It would be a pity if you had some weird kink that he’d just fed into. Things might have to get drastic then.

________________

A. C.

You wandered out to the porch and sipped from the mug in your hand. It was a homebrew tea. A blend from the garden and... it was sad. Yours never tasted as good as your mom's. At least. The way they tasted before. Before your stepdad had swooped in and infected her with his specific brand of Zealot Rage. Until you’d been tossed out to keep you from contaminating the “Normal” kids. 

The little siblings that had been told you died.

When that thought made your eyes burn, you pushed it aside and shoved it into the dark recesses of your mind where you shoved everything you didn’t want to think about. Your family. Bucky... especially Bucky. 

Fuck him. 

All he’d had to do was tell you that he was interested. But no. Oh no. He’d toyed with you. Like an Orca with a fucking baby seal. The bastard. 

“Fuck!” you drop the mug you’re holding and jump back from the puddle of broken ceramics and scalding tea.  You stare at the pool spreading across the weathered wood and sigh. “Fuck,” you say, quieter this time. You really are the reason you can’t have nice things.

Tags: :@lancsnerd, @thorfanficwriter @blameitonthecauseway @etherealwaifgoddess, @stevieang, @beautybyfire, @sunmoonandbucky @mrsfox79, @bbmommy0902, @mendes-fan, @iheartsebastianstan, @wtfcas @pinknerdpanda, @process-pending, @ladifreakingda, @leasly, @coldbookworm

[sanshineaus]

mingi : friends to lovers

warnings: none!

type: bulletpoint au, fluff

word count: 1989 (a lil short!! i’m very sorry)

a/n: as a san stan, we get fed content every 30 minutes and y’all mingi stans are the backbone of the fandom

you and mingi have a very sweet friendship, really

he and you would most likely die for each other

but also if he touches your charger you WILL kill him

you met through another friend, at their birthday party

right after you congratulated them and handed them their gift, mingi came around the corner and clumsily nearly spilled a drink on you

he still apologized though!!! AND offered to check for you if there was a drink anywhere

your friend laughed and introduced you two

'he's cute isn't he?'

oh boy was he!!!

he really was sweet too; you didn’t know anyone else but your friend and now, him, and he was nice enough to let you stick to him like glue

you even ended up exchanging numbers, and playing 8ball in your respective cabs when the party ended

from then on you began texting

and it grew into exchanging social media

to being inseparable in real life too

mingi would constantly bug you to go out and eat with him

and you’d frequently go shopping together (or window shopping. mingi just LOOKS stingy)

when your snap streaks had officially reached 420 days, mingi made sure to screenshot it and post it on all social media

as he did with any you content in general

and let’s be honest with ourselves— mingi’s a very, very beautiful person

so there was no shortage of people in his dms

most of which happened to be opening with ‘are you single’

because of your numerous posts together, it just didn’t seem likely

but really, you’d say ‘ew’ to that, because ew, that’s your best friend

who you’ve seen snotty crying over a picture of a particularly small puppy resting on a very large cat

and who has seen YOU snotty crying over the same picture but shhhh

you honestly think there’s no way you like him

your heart doesn’t palpitate around him or anything like that

(your chest just gets concerningly warm, so does your face and ears, and you have to take several gulps of air to compose yourself when he smiles. shhhhh)

EVEN if you did (which you don’t!) he wouldn’t like you back

he’s mingi

all mingi likes is dragging you out of bed by your feet

and making you regret giving him a spare key to your place

he’s in general grossly sappy, though

he fully understands that he’s cute and you detest it

because he ASKS you. he has the gall, the nerve to put on a silly cat, make a face at you in the store you’re in, and ask if he’s cute

and you want to say yes and laugh along with him but you settle for sighing and saying ‘sure’

but each and every time

he smiles

and it’s really rejuvenating. maybe an angel gets its wings or something. or fairies get born?

you two once debated over which of those two phrases is better, and you were the firm ‘fairy gets its wings’ believer

until he seemed a bit pouty and you decided to just merge the two

you have very stupid discussions

of the ‘do we belong in a circus’ kind

(yes, you might)

his very hidden talent is carrying a lot of mugs

mingi’s fingers are long, and he hangs the mugs off of them while maintaining focus

his record? 24 mugs

one of which broke while he walked from his room to the dishwasher

he was sad about it because it was a mug shaped like a bird

and you had to both comfort him and drive him in his tears to the store to get another one

to be fair, you also felt bad. so, so bad, because the mug was ADORABLE and you could tell mingi thought so too

but you got a Mingi Hug out of it later

when he thanked you, he really did go all out

(he put in no effort, he was just very huggable and it was very nice)

it was when you were very tired and on the brink of Death™ (you know, Death™, like when you just want to nap for 78 hours somewhere in a forest temple)

that you two decide to go to a 7/11

you both unfortunately have this thing called responsibilities so for whatever reason, neither of you can sleep

and so you offer to mingi to meet up at the store between your houses

to which he agrees, and asks if he can come over

to which you say no, but you also say YOLO™ and decide to leave your work in progress to meet up with your friend

(be gay do crime)

you don’t really do either, actually, you respectfully pay for your drinks and those packaged meals which are never as good at day as when they are at night

he insists you use the plastic bag you two had as a seat so your butt doesn’t get cold

and you do, but you also try and elbow his shin when he also sits down on the concrete

you are reminded of the ew feeling of seeing your best friend scarf down sushi like it’s soup

and he somehow manages to talk coherently about his stupid escapade which brought him to this point of meeting up with you

it’s so frustratingly endearing

because you know he’s enjoying himself if he doesn’t stop talking, and you know he’s comfortable around you

and that’s what makes you heart FINALLY flutter

it doesn’t take long for you two to depart, when you finish your own food and drink

and berate him a bit for not saving his drink for when he ended his meal and then stole a sip— no, a GULP from you

that night you give up on your project

(obviously not entirely)

but you’re certainly too busy to think straight

and lying in your bed with your heart beating quick is something you find pretty exhilarating

it’s actually pretty nice to like someone

because anything mingi does is fun, too

he gives you his jacket? perfection

he gives you a noogie? not AS perfect or ideal, but you’re happy he has you in a headlock because it’s a touch of human contact

and you like This human

he tries talking to you about what he would do if aliens landed

and you call him out on his bullshit, not because he’s wrong but because you love him <3 and he’s also wrong

he would NOT try and be nice to them, he’d immediately go in and look if there’s more species

“mingi would accidentally bring doomsday because he’d reject the flirting of an alien princess” yunho (who you met through mingi on the exact day of your 420 streak) adds, from somewhere near you guys in mingi’s apartment, and you absolutely agree

“marriage proposal? come on, i’d know!”

yunho looks at you, then at mingi, then back at you, and just shakes his head

and you feel offended because you’re aware of what yunho’s thinking

but mingi’s less on board

“are you saying they’re an alien princess?”

you argue that if you were an alien, you’d abolish the monarchy

but you also add that you’d rather be king if it came down to it

mingi is very insistent and it’s then when you realize that your heart is beating like that again

because he’s stood up and taken you with him to show to yunho that you’d make a terrific alien princess if only they put you in a sci-fi dress and crown

you want to put mingi in a sci-fi dress and crown all of a sudden, you don’t know : /

it’s prerogative you get more than one Mingi Hug

Mingi Hugs are a bit of an oddity

not because he doesn’t hug you often

it’s just that this is such a specific brand of hug that he reserves for moments of vulnerability

where he protectively wraps his arms around you, but places his head on your shoulder to hide his face

maybe he’s crying, maybe you’re crying, maybe neither is happening and he’s just grateful you’re there, but you’ve noticed he doesn’t do it as often to other people

it���s really cute, though

you’re sitting on your roof one night

not star gazing, mingi just said he read an article that said some phenomena will hit the skies

you tried to listen to him but he was so excited that explaining failed him and he just grabbed your hand to pull you out

(not that you were complaining, he was so gentle and cute)

you are lying down next to each other; and he’s pointing out constellations to you

you see some of them, others are less easy to spot, but every once in a while he rambles about something interesting he knew

but then it starts

you hear a sizzling first, and then a shot

and your sky is red… with a firework

after that, there’s another pound, the colour this time pink

it is pretty— colours exploding against the night sky is pretty

but what the hell? this isn’t a nebular event

it’s when you finally tear your eyes away from the sky to mingi to interrogate him that you see he’s already looking at you

and he has a very sweet smile on his face

“it’s our 500th snap streak day”

and you aren’t stupid, so you know he’s behind the fireworks, but

“why?”

and he lets out a very burdened sigh before he grabs your wrist, and places your hand in his

“it means i’ve liked you for 500 days”

there’s two emotions fluctuating all throughout

relief and joy

so you scoot over and let go of his hand so that you can swing your arms around his neck

his arms, for the first time, are loose, and you can absolutely hear the beating of his heart

the fireworks stop all of a sudden when your neighbour yells

but you ignore her so you can try and get even closer to mingi

you mumble that you like him too

however he hugs you tighter

and tells you he can’t hear you

but he DEFINITELY CAN AND HE’S JUST—UGHHH

so you decide to be even worse about it

and you y e l l it

now the whole neighbourhood knows you like mingi

though it does gradually grow into love

mingi’s a very caring boyfriend; after all, he was exactly the same as a friend

now with the added bonus of being able to kiss you

which is a power he abuses thoroughly

he gives forehead and temple kisses the most

and he’s a very terrible gremlin, so he sometimes holds your head only to bring it to his lips

or he’ll pick you up randomly

“can you tell i worked out?”

yes, you can, but you’re more focused on trying to land safely if he loses his grip

not that you don’t trust him

you trust him in every aspect of the relationship

he’s reliable— and also brings you food at inconvenient times of the day

plus you get to visit each other whenever

he likes doing animal face masks with you

and offers a bath every. time.

he runs some of the best bubble baths though, you can’t lie

he’s also very warm most of the time, so if you’re a heat sink… guess what! you no longer are!

mingi’s also very careful

he makes mistakes often; physically breaking things, sometimes he doesn’t know his strength, and so on

but he’s always ready to apologize and get you something new

he sometimes ends up going too far with a joke?

apology!

he’s very meticulous with it too. words mean as much as actions to him, and so there’s a lot of meaning in his apologies

he’s just cute

you’re both very cute but also a very annoying couple

pda? she’s your best friend

*yeosang cringes*

[indieks]

Two Nights, One Da(y)te 🌒 Lee Jooheon | ½

🔥 Pairing : Lee Jooheon x Reader

🔥 Genre : Soulmate!AU, Angst, Fluff, Suggestive (light)

🔥 Word count : 24k omg

🔥 Synopsis : He should have been just another Tinder match you would have swiped off your life just like you swiped your thumb on your screen that night, hadn’t it been for the deep connection that bonds you to him. He is your soulmate, you are a girl he can’t help but get attracted to. You are seeking for the perfect relationship, he is trying to stay away from love. Would the few times you come across each other be enough for your opposite hearts to face the same direction?

Part 1 /\ Part 1.5 /\ Part 2

🔥 A/N : Aaaand here is Part 1! Took a longer time to write than I thought, but I think I was especially hard on myself as some real-life events are involved, so it was difficult to be satisfied ! And what a good idea to have chosen my ultimate bias to make the task even harder…

I encountered a few problems while uploading this part yesterday (seems like it didn’t appear on my page nor in the hashtags), so here am I deleting and reuploading it... Hope you can read it without any difficulties!

I hope you’ll enjoy this, thank you so much in advance and I love every single one of you who brings me joy just by ever reading it! Every comment, good or bad, is always welcomed, I love your feedback! ♥

            “Your fate is in your hands”, they say.

A common, popular phrase that had turned into some kind of trendy expression slipping through countless of mouths all around the world, and meant to be a blessing when it was pronounced along with that dreamy smile only them could have. But to your ears, it sounded like a curse every time someone would dare to throw it at you, tarnishing the river of care and kindness their enamored selves wished to bid you goodbye with.

They said you could feel a burning sensation in the palm of your left hand, as if lava had taken the place of your blood, the moment you came across him or her for the first time, your fleshes having accidentally brushed each other, or your eyes having met even in the middle of a packed crowd.

They talked about how they had been consumed in some kind of bliss for a split-second, feeling shivers covering their bodies as a hot wave had crashed over them, the fire within their hand eating them at once ; feeling numb but so alive at the same time ; feeling butterflies flap their wings inside the pit of their stomachs while their hearts had skipped a long beat ; feeling desired and desiring with a hunger they weren’t able to put into words.

They insisted that it definitely felt different from having a crush on someone or falling in love purely and simply, or from trying something with someone that was only “compatible” with you. Because they affirmed that in the end, if you both would get along together and share happy moments, he or she would never be the one, the ideal, the best for you.

Some called them the “Crossed-Liners”, while others summed it in the simpler yet inexact term “Soulmates”. According to some rule from above, every single being on this Earth had an ideal type they would perfectly match with, a destined partner that suited you in every single way. Depending on parameters that were still left unexplained, there was then one boy or girl who was meant for you and you only, to fit everything that was lacking in your life, a peculiar human breathing the same air, treading the same ground as you, hiding somewhere.

However, that crossed-line thing had seemingly decided to impact one’s love life to its fullest, as not only it picked a precise somebody for you and determined that your fate would be linked to him or her ; it also gauged your chances of finding happiness with somebody else than your “ideal”, if you ever chose to believe in your own personal feelings instead of what was outstripping you.

The sign was simple yet mystifying, because its meaning was so powerful that it always made people weak in the knees every time it appeared. When you happened to encounter the ideal one, your life-line in the palm of your hand would lighten up in a bright red color ; but when you only came across someone that could fit you in some way but not all the criteria for him or her to bring the overjoy and transporting sensations your soulmate would, your heart-line was the one to sparkle this time.

In other words : the prophecy was definitely telling you that choosing your soulmate was the best choice you could ever make, as your whole life was linked to him ; however, if you ever turned to a compatible person, it was due to a choice of your heart, yes, but probably not the best for your destiny that could always be brighter.

Thus, as every soulmate was defined by an individual’s characteristics, people weren’t necessarily their ideal’s own one and only, even if they were at least compatible with them. This law’s double faucet was then revealing of one’s true nature : either they would sacrifice their quest of finding the one for them because they were the one for someone else and felt something special for them anyway ; either he or she would leave to seek their own perfect happiness, a selfishness that could be as understandable as disgusting.

You couldn’t quite depict if you were supposed to see the prophecy as some kind of super-dating-agency, helping the desperate people who weren’t as lucky as the fate-linked couples who had found each other, by still letting them know that a few guys or girls out there would be good enough for them even if they weren’t the right partner ; or, if you had to admit that those lost lovers were probably getting laughed at by the alternative, as if they were trying to write their own fate and pursue their genuine feelings, they couldn’t help but get reminded that they would never know the ecstatic moments the lucky ones would have, by having a greater probability of breaking up, by watching television going crazy about it, by hearing the soulmate’s stories that somehow dimmed the magic of their own which were simpler, but still special to them.

You were one of those “not caring” individuals ; well, most exactly, wounded and tired of individuals. The reason was that, since a while ago, you definitely felt like you had been cursed by the laws of nature, as if they had complotted against you and struck you with a thunderbolt of misfortune on the day you were born.

In that calculated world every being was growing, looked over by a favoring sky and with flowers spreading under their feet as they walked towards their bright future, hand in hand with their significant other, your little part of universe had always managed to seem gloomy and slippery, at least every time you stepped into a relationship.

You had hooked up with a few guys without ever getting to see your life-line shine and burn you with pleasure and pain, only your heart-line shimmering weakly, telling you your future with this one or that one would probably be great, yet not more astonishing than any other. Still, you had chosen not to care, and to love to the fullest, trusting the power of feelings more than any supernatural force up there.

Nevertheless, you got caught up by your sincerity and your devotion, as all your exes trampled over your bloody organ, would it be because you had just been the temporary consolation they had been needing before throwing themselves into the quest once again, or because they couldn’t reflect the intensity of your feelings, using the excuse that the compatibility was not enough to cut through the life course, which had then whispered to them to part ways at some point.

All those small adventures and heartbreaks had pushed your lonely steps down the path of the “not-caring-anymore” girl, your attention centered on your personal development and the everyday pleasures of life ; yet deep down you knew, that you still were strongly – or desperately – waiting for your ideal to show up, as deception after deception, you were starting to lose your faith in love, and were getting worn out.

But as you were finding your way back home after a night-out with your colleagues, your lips were finally wearing that famous dreamy smile ; because you just had been proven that everything’s worth the wait.

Maybe your fate is in your hands, Y/N.

              * * *

        It was another one of those evenings where you had all been supposed to just drink a little something at some nice little bar in hopes to soothe your tiring day at work, but after one glass had come another, then numerous ones. And as usual, when your cheeks started to burn like some pinkish and crackling ember, you came to the fantastic decision to stumble down the streets together instead of going home, again. Finally, after a few minutes of wandering without any specific direction guiding your cloudy minds, you “accidentally” ended up queuing for then dancing in a random club – again.

This scheme had almost become a bad habit, even if the next day you kept telling yourselves, as you all met to empty the coffee machine so that its black and energizing liquid would help scatter your hangover and your sleepiness, that there would be no next time. 

However, as any profession must involve in its own way and degree, you often felt stressed from the moment you landed your feet in the company, your brains already fuming as you had to keep on finding exciting and original ideas to satisfy your boss and clients ; and somehow, at some point, cocktails and loud music had become the finger-snap to lighten the weight on your shoulders.

The company you were working for was one of the best events’ organizer in the city, solicited every single month to settle private parties, workshops, festivals, exhibitions, new products’ launchings for famous brands, and other big events that needed imaginative activities as well as fancy places to be remembered.

And you, were one of the creatives of the team. Majoring in special event management and communication, you always had had an artistic feeling springing inside of you and that helped you developing settings in your mind that were later praised in real life as you let them out. This 6-month long internship you had signed for was then the very last step before you could say goodbye to your student life, and finally live of your passion.

You were only at the half of it, but the unceasing flow of ideas you were pouring at every meeting after having worked on them even at nighttime once you were back home, had seized the attention and gained the trust of your Project Manager, who had then decided to hand you the full creation of the next event your team would be asked for.

And this very demand had arrived sooner than you had expected, as in late October, you received the great honor to be the event organizer for the National Federation of Football. They requested you to prepare a fancy and chic venue for the players from the most famous men’s clubs around the country that were going to come, in order to celebrate together the new sponsorships they would be the representatives of, was it sneakers, new teams’ shirt’s designs, or new products for their hair so that they would be at their most handsome selves on the field.

Some top brands’ directors or representatives were also going to show up, and you immediately had imagined all the paparazzi, tailored suits and resplendent dresses that you were going to watch parade under your two eyes, while you would be busy checking if everyone was eating and drinking well but also enjoying the few activities you would have prepared.

And surprisingly, despite the consequent amount of pressure and stress that had loaded on your shoulders the second your manager had passed you the direction of this huge project, you had been able to picture every single thing the gala would be composed of, from the arrangement of the buffet, to the photo corner, to the musicians, to the decorations, and thankfully, all your teammates had followed your ideas and instructions unflinchingly, nearly being the most enthusiastic you had known them.

That’s why you had been out drinking with your internship peers and closest managers at first, to celebrate the very last preparations and fixings of the remaining details you had finished during the day, the event actually taking place in less than 24 hours from now.

“I really do think that barman’s been looking at you all night long” one of your friends, Jiwoo, insisted as you walked out of the club, your hurting heels clinking against the pavement.

“Nooooo, he wasn’t” you denied with your eyes leaving your phone’s screen to roll up and a sigh flying over your voice.

“What do you mean “he wasn’t”?! You told me your hand was shining! He’s your ideal, you fool!”

The word gave you the chills as the curve of your lips curled up into a smile, but you quickly ushered her to be quiet. Your eyes did meet, your left hand did burn, but your mind refused to admit it as it was too good to be true.

“I’m sure he would have been happy to celebrate with you tonight, moaning CONGRATS BEAUTYYYY!” she still growled, and you nudged her this time with a chuckle. “You know that having sex with your ideal goes beyond ecstasy, like seeing stars behind your eyelids is nothing compared to that?”

“CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR FIRST EVENT Y/NNNN!” a male colleague shouted at the back as he had overheard a few words of your discussion, thankfully not the grosser ones that made you clench your hand over your friend’s mouth who was now laughing.

You were exhausted, your legs almost giving up on you, yet that was hinting at the great night you had just spent with them. But mostly, you knew that your whole body felt like jelly because you had finally been struck with that intense and crippling sensation people had been gossiping about.

          A few moments before.

 You were sitting at the table your colleagues had paid for, dividing the price between them as they excluded you – their reward for your hard work. Your eyes were scanning the crowd of sweating bodies, most of the girls wearing the fanciest outfits you had seen in your life, and boys trying to follow the rhythm with their heads, their hands busy holding their cups or grasped around each other’s shoulders – or their prey’s ones.

And suddenly, like a brilliant but lost star in the middle of that deep and somber galaxy the club impersonated as its darkness absorbed the dancing forms around you, he shined, his light piercing its way through your field of view, making you see him and him only. He was standing behind the bar facing you on the right, his brows furrowed as he worked on some cocktail someone had just asked him by screaming over the loud music. Your eyes had accidentally met for a split-second, but it had been enough to cast the spell on you.

Instinctively, you stood up to have a better sight of his traits, and without permission being asked, your feet transported you through the mass on the dancefloor, and closer to him. It was as if you were being dragged towards his silhouette by some uncontrollable force, totally hypnotized, your body as light and swift as a feather slipping between people without any difficulty, and the more you were approaching the bar, the less you could hear anything else but his nosy voice that repeatedly asked : “What do you drink?”

Your heartbeat missed that famous long beat, while you hissed instead of breathing in normally. You probably looked like some kind of drunk girl with her mind having been sucked up into some kind of black hole, as you stood there, only a few meters away from him, eyes wide open and tinted lips a little bit agape. Was it true? Was this really happening to you?

You lowered your head so that you could finally look for it, the very sign that could confirm you he indeed was doing something to you that depended on the law above you, or instead would tell you by its eventual non-existence that you were just way too drunk by now and that you were only crushing really really bad over some random guy.

No, it couldn’t be, you definitely felt different, but not the alcoholic-type of different ; you were attracted to him to the point you were already craving for his plump lips on yours, to the point you felt tears of joy breaming at the crease of your eyelids out of nowhere, to the point you were desperate to catch his attention just for a split second, this despair then gluing your two feet into your spot.

Your pupils fell down on your fist that had clenched under the tension your body was being put through, and you could already see the reddish tint your fingers were lightened by as beneath them, was indeed hiding your shining life-line you uncovered with a smile while you got submerged by a wave of delight. That barman, right over there, was the one for you. Where had he been all this time? Why was he showing up just now? How could he be so close when you had looked for him for so long? Were all those nights you had spent crying over your loneliness and the ache of your heart going to come to an end?

You couldn’t believe it, yet your body was already responding to your relief and excitement. The palm of your left hand had started to burn intensely the second your eyes landed on the mark, and you were fanning your face with the right one, as it felt like you were going under a high fever. Your eyelids that had been heavy from all the glasses you had clinked and drank with your friends before, suddenly became lighter and never ceased to humidify your sparkling eyes as you blinked again and again to ensure you hadn’t fallen into dreamland. After a short while and an internal ment you did to yourself to remain sane, you finally leveled your pupils up to land them back on the very cause of your world’s upheaval.

You could see him clearly this time, your vision narrowed down at him. It was as if his active figure was detoured by a blurry yet powerful aura that encompassed only the two of you, drawing an invisible breach in this world from you to him. You amazingly could remark all the details you would never have in your daily life, had he been some random guy you would’ve seen at one of the cafés you liked – but he wasn’t.

His hair was dyed into a deep orange color, close to red, the locks separated messily on either side of his forehead and that your fingers were craving to fumble themselves into, so they’d feel their softness. He had small but sharp eyes that first shot piercing gazes towards the clients, before they would lighten up then almost disappear as he granted them a smile once he’d have heard their command. His nose had a perfect line, angle and proportions, as if it had been drawn with a ruler, in the middle of his slightly chubby face that still showcased a keen jawline.

Finally, his lips… You couldn’t prevent yourself from watching them the most, as they were quite filled, with a heart shape and a rosy tint the spot enlightening his head helped you to die before. When he smiled, you were thrilled to discover his white and aligned dentition ; then, the wideness his lips reached crumpled your weakened heart as it gave him an adorable yet seducing expression you probably would have fallen for even if he hadn’t been your ideal one.

You could only see his body up to his bust from behind the counter, covered by a short-sleeved deep green and white striped shirt which buttons were opened enough for you to spot his collarbones from time to time, when he grabbed glasses or bottles to concoct another delicious potion.

Every move he made was like slow-mowed, for you to see each ripple of it, each muscle he solicited, each expression that dwelled his traits. It was as if you could see through anything that could obstruct your sight of him who still shined brightly in the middle of spotlights and people. You were spellbound by this man and you were perfectly aware of it, yet there was no wish for freedom that knocked against your head walls : just the one to catch his eye, even if something inside you feared that it would probably consume you.

He was indeed your ideal type if you had been asked to describe the perfect looks for a man, his body not too thin yet not too thick with muscles, with his forearms’ veins popping out as he was holding the shaker into his large hands that had long and ringed fingers, and not to mention his facial features that gave you the chills just by looking at them.

“What are you doing, planted here Y/N? I’ve been looking for you” Jiwoo asked you suddenly and got you out of your trance as you jumped in scare.

Then, without letting you the time to explain yourself – as if you could brace yourself to come up with an explanation when you were completely knocked out… – the blonde girl’s hands grasped your left one that was still up in the air for you to contemplate it.

“Why were you looking at that? Oh my- Don’t tell me?! The look on your face says it all! You can see the mark, right?! Tell me that you’re seeing it!”

You were too flustered to answer with words, but you automatically nodded while looking back at her with cloudy eyes ; and even her high-pitched shouts didn’t shake you out of your trance.

“OH MY GOSH Y/N! OH MY GOSH OH MY GOSH OH MY GOSH YOUR SOULMATE IS HERE! WHERE IS HE?! THAT’S INCREDIBLE! WHERE IS HEEEE?!” she kept on exclaiming as she swung your arm from the left to the right, and the smile she was wearing brought yours out along with a speeding beating of your heart.

You felt close enough to Jiwoo after all these months to tell her, but before you did, you made her promise not to spread the news to the others, as you wished to keep your love life quiet and personal until it would be stable enough for you to answer a few of their questions without feeling embarrassed ; they were still colleagues from work before friends.

“It’s… That kinda pumpkin-haired guy over there? The barman, you see?” you finally managed to mumble.

Jiwoo’s eyelids creased as she searched for the target meticulously, then abruptly, her mouth fell open as her grip on your hand tightened.

“Jesus fucking Christ, he is GORGEOUS! You lucky girl” she whined as soon as she spotted him talking to his co-worker with a serious face on.

Then, unexpectedly, she pulled you into a tight hug and jumped on the spot with you still in her warm embrace, and you held her back even if you were out of it.

“Then my question remains the same : what the hell are you doing standing here?!”

Out of nowhere, your insecurities about love and yourself replaced the warmth Jiwoo had welcomed you in and you stepped back, nibbling at your lower lip nervously.

“I can’t… I don’t even know if I’m his ideal too… I mean he hasn’t even spotted me yet, I don’t think-“

“Well, go find out, c’mon! And even if he’s not, he’s at least compatible and I’m sure he’ll like you! Go or I’m telling the group!” she dared to defy you, and you scoffed at her blackmail before she pushed your reluctant body towards the bar ; and once you were close enough to her liking, she disappeared as quickly as she had popped out next to you.

Only a few steps were separating you from him – well technically also a counter–, and you felt like your soul might escape your shuddering corpse as you finally found the courage to walk to him, going past the thirsty people shouting their orders. You managed to post yourself on his right, your elbows finding their place among the empty glasses displayed on the bar. Quickly though, as you winced at the pain that had multiplied now that you were the closer you could be to him for now, you hid your left hand on your lap as you feared that you could scare him if he ever came to know who he was for you, if you weren’t the same for him.

The man had his back facing you, yet when he turned around and finally landed his beautiful eyes on your silhouette, he took your breath away for the umpteenth time in less than ten minutes since you had found him. Your life-line suddenly started to itch, and the pain turned into a pleasuring sensation you hadn’t felt before, one that raised all the hair up your left arm. And finally, you heard his famous phrase but this time directed at you, as well as his attention, the situation enclosing you into a state of shock and ecstasy :

“What do you drink, miss?”

However, some strings pulled at your overworked heart as you dared to bore your eyes into his, to see he was far from flustered as he was searching your face, waiting for your answer.

I’m not the one.

Or else his expression would have changed, or else he would have been as appalled as me, or else he would look at me with lust, as everybody said.

That man was your destined lover, but you were just a compatible woman to him, and you swallowed back a sarcastic chuckle as you realized that your curse would definitely never leave you ; because even when you were facing someone that had been made especially for you, someone you could love and give to without holding back, it wasn’t that simple.

Don’t get defeated, Y/N. He is at least compatible. Jiwoo is right, he might like you, you tried to cheer yourself up, and you could thank the alcohol for quickly fading your rational worries. You straightened your back before darting your best smile at him.

“Surprise me”, you blurted out in a calm tone.

Oh wow. Where did that confidence come from? Was it due to the bond you had with him, giving you wings?

You were glad to be rewarded for your boldness as his brows perked up in surprise quickly, before it was his turn to break into a confident smirk.

“You don’t have to say it twice.”

Hadn’t it been for the uncontrolled and overpowering need to get to him that perfected your actions and reactions, you would have let out an inappropriate mewl hearing those sturdy words come out of his mouth and at the sight of his dimples you hadn’t spotted earlier. Still, you only placed your chin in the palm of your right hand, watching him get on with his job. Your battling lashes guided your vision towards his face so close to yours, his skin bright and without any imperfection, his hair falling before his squinted eyes, his lower lip he had trapped between his teeth as he pondered over his options. He was shining.

“Okay, let’s go with this one.”

He turned his back on you once again, and as he was about to grab a syrup bottle from the shelf, he halted his movements as some shimmering light attracted his pupils, coming from his own left hand. He then looked back at your standing figure over his shoulder and almost let out a gasp as he saw that you had been observing him all the while. He then decided to act as if nothing had happened, despite his heart-line having turned into a bright red color and creating sweat into his palm.

He hadn’t even noticed it before, still the first thought that had come to his mind the moment his stare had ghosted over your lovely traits, had been that you were the prettiest girl he had seen tonight, if not since quite a while. And then, he had thought you looked familiar, without being able to point out where he could have seen you, but once you had spoken up, he had been absorbed by your mischievous eyes and let go of his memory track.

Anyway, were you aware of that little link that bonded the two of you, too? Did that apparition behind the counter rhymed with you making a move on him?

He suddenly felt glad that a dazzling girl like you was at least compatible with him, boosting his confidence as he mixed some fluids together with swift and diligent moves, and in no time, he was back to you to finish his cocktail with one of the bottles arranged right on the spot under your arm.

“There you go, that makes 7,500 won” he breathed out with a smile before gazing at you expectantly as you brought the glass to your red-tinted lips, doing your best not to show how flustered you were to be trapped under his stare.

The flavor was a bit sour, but the strength of fruits balanced it well, and it made you hum in satisfaction as you settled the recipient back on the counter.

“Mission accomplished, thank you” you laughed lightly while placing the exact amount of money on the counter, and he quickly grabbed it.

“My pleasure.” he answered in a low tone that struck you to the core, the sudden deepness of his voice echoing against your eardrums and sending vibrations down to the pit of your stomach.

Everything he said or did stimulated all your senses to an extent that was beyond imagination, as if your sight, your scent, your hearing and even the taste of the cocktail were impregnated with a bit of him, so that you couldn’t get enough of his presence, of his eyes and attention on you, of his smile. Time was going by slowly, but it still felt too fast for your liking as you wished this moment would never come to an end, as you searched for something to throw as bait at him, to keep in touch, to ensure a next encounter.

Unexpectedly, he bit his lip another time while eyeing you up and down, and you could swear you felt like your heart had jumped up to your throat, ready to surrender itself to him whose two eyes kept you frozen into your spot, unable to return back to your friends, to your life as a project director, to your life without him in front of you. It seemed like he had been about to say something because his mouth opened slightly, a single syllable falling into the depths of the unknown as he got interrupted.

“I-”

“Excuse me! Please! Over here!”

“Oh yeah yeah!” the man answered, his eyes not leaving yours, before he nodded his head in acknowledgement while mouthing a goodbye to you, and turned to the person next to you, well more exactly, the group that was waiting for him.

What was that…?

You had to leave, because you had no excuse to stay any longer. The overexcitement was slowly slipping out of your body as he had already moved on from you, his smile now destined for other girls, while you could have stared and smiled at him all night long, behind this counter, without thinking nor blinking.

However, you needed to step down from your fantasy as soon as you could because, remember, you were just another girl he could date, not more. Maybe tomorrow he would have forgotten about you, while you would still be dreaming of him and the infinity of emotions he just had put you through. Or worse, maybe he already had found his own ideal, maybe he wasn’t single, maybe…

You didn’t know anything, his name, his whereabouts, his likings ; you ignored everything about him, but it felt like you had been crushing on him for months, as if you were about to fall deeply in love with him. So that’s what they were talking about.

You eyed him one last time before grabbing your glass, a melancholic smile disguising your lips as you accepted your curse and let your defeated state take the best of you, simply thanking the law for giving you the chance to feel what they felt, even if it had been for a short time. And that’s how you missed the interested look he addressed you as you turned your back on him, not giving him a chance to take his “goodbye” back, especially by telling you this exact phrase he had been about to : “I’m Jooheon, by the way.”

Because damn, you interested him. Where had he seen you?

 End of flashback.

          You had hoped he had been looking at you after that ; now, you knew he had, with Jiwoo confirming it to you, with your colleagues having chanted it to you during the rest of the night, with the red light in your hand having scorched your skin from time to time as you had been dancing languorously, leading you to the conclusion that you might have grasped his attention in the end. But every time the liquor thickening your blood vessels had given you confidence to shoot him some glances over the crowd, your pupils had never met, setting trouble into your guesses.

Nevertheless, before you could decide to find the guts to go back to him and confront him in any manner possible – even though you would have looked like a fool – your friends had wanted to leave, tiredness and drunkenness calling them out. And here you were, walking to the nearest night-bus stop with Jiwoo and the rest of your team, a small smile still disguising your lips as images of him were rattling into your head.

Maybe your fate is in your hands, Y/N. Maybe he was interested in you too.

And as if this expression had finally turned into a blessing to counter the curse you thought had been towering you all these years, your hand – well more exactly thumb – indeed opened another door towards your fate that night.

                * * *

         Swipe left. Swipe left. Nope. Nope. No… Like?

You were having a hard time sleeping, the mesmerizing face of your unknown “soulmate” preventing you from finding peace as you felt on fire just at the thought of him, so you were trying to distract yourself from him by making your usual visit on Tinder, swiping all the guys to the left, just having fun looking at their pictures and ridiculous descriptions. Until your thumb came to a halt before the umpteenth profile you faced, making you sit straight in your bed despite your head that was turning as your brain was half-soaked with alcohol, and you dropped the device on your sheets.

Jooheon. His name was Jooheon.

Just under your two eyes, laid a picture showcasing him with white locks maintained by a headband, his side profile with a solemn expression giving you as much butterflies as his front figure had earlier, and you muffled a cry of happiness under your fingers. The second and only other picture was probably a more recent one, of him with his hair in a lighter orange color and his face lightened by the big smile you had seen him grant earlier. How come hazard could be so good to you in just a night?

Without any hesitation, you quickly “liked” his profile which description said : “Here to talk and pass the time, I guess I’m bored”. And you surprisingly saw the usual display appear instantly on your crackled phone’s screen, the three words feeling almost as precious as the famous three-word-eight-letters you wished to hear again sometime : “It’s a match!”

“This can’t be…” you whispered to yourself as you crashed your back down against your mattress, before kicking your blankets out of excitement.

It felt as if the planets were perfectly aligned, as if that evening could make-up for all those past years of losing faith in love, as if the curse was finally broken. You knew you shouldn’t let yourself get eaten by too much hope as you were pretty sure you weren’t his soulmate, meaning he wasn’t wanting you as much as you wanted him as of now, meaning you might not be on the receiving end this time as well, but still, some kind of euphoria sparkled in you, something you couldn’t canalize.

Jooheon [03:46 a.m.] : I knew I had seen you somewhere. It was here

Time stopped again. He had seen you on the application before your first encounter earlier?!

You [03:46 a.m.] : Seriously? Wow, what a weird coincidence

Jooheon [03:46 a.m.] : I know right

Jooheon [03:46 a.m.] : So, tell me something funny about you, I had a pretty long day

You [03:47 a.m.] : I can imagine that haha. Well… My manager tried to hit on me tonight and I wanted to die out of embarrassment, Idk how I’m going to face him tomorrow honestly

Jooheon [03:47 a.m.] : I saw that. Quite drunk that guy. Something else?

His direct and brief way of talking was taking you aback as much as it made your toes curl out of anticipation. You definitely couldn’t believe you were actually talking to your soulmate on the same night you had found him. Was it the magic of the rule operating?

You [03:48 a.m.] : So you really were looking at me, my friends kept on making fun of me because of that

Where was that boldness coming from again?!

Jooheon [03:48 a.m.] : That means they were looking at me too, don’t you think? Who’s interested in who in the end

“Interested”…? Every single word he employed kept you on your toes, your breathing becoming uneasy every little time you had to wait for his answer.

You [03:48 a.m.] : You have a point. Why don’t you tell me something about you? I’m having a hard time thinking of what to say that would be interesting.

In other words : you were too flustered and there had been too many cocktails for you to be thinking straight right now. You suddenly felt the urge to get up and walk to release the electric shocks that tickled your body. You then opted for sitting beside your bedroom’s window you opened to feel the cool air of an autumn night, as the heat under your cheeks was giving you that sensation of a fever all over again. Was it the alcohol, or was it him, even from far away?

Jooheon [03:49 a.m.] : I love dumplings. I’d choose dumplings over everything else. Dumplings are my reason to live honestly. I’m actually eating some right now.

Jooheon [03:49 a.m.] : And

Jooheon [03:51 a.m.] : I prefer nighttime over daytime. I love how everything seems to have another image, more mystic, more intriguing, more magical with the streetlights on. I can’t live without music. I never go out without my earplugs. If I do, I just go back to pick them up, even if that means being late at work. I write some rap lyrics when I need to let my thoughts out. So yeah my favorite type of music is rap, but I love ballads too. I read manga, sometimes even their previews not yet translated. Idk yet if I prefer countryside or Seoul. I’m interested in fashion, but sometimes I feel like my wardrobe sucks because I change styles often. I like to talk as much as I like to listen, and I hate it when people don’t listen to each other. I tend to understand people quite easily. Except when they get drunk like shit. I think too much, and pretty much all the time. I love football even if it hates me. I fucking love beer. I’ve only worn one fragrance in my life, and I’ll never change, I guess. I don’t have tons of friends, just six “brothers”. I’d like to travel and go far away, soon. Maybe Australia, I don’t know. I get pissed quite easily. I’m too nice. I think my favorite skinship is kisses. I love to sleep, but I have a hard time falling asleep most of the time.

Jooheon [03:51 a.m.] : that didn’t make sense, sorry, just got everything out of my head. Was supposed to stop at dumplings, but this conversation turned into my rap memo tonight haha

You read, reread, and read again those numerous lines that decorated your phone’s screen, your lips smiling on their own as you felt thrilled to be receiving that much information, all those details that were about his daily life just as you had wished to ask for. All those facts that seemed to be evident about him now that you possessed them, as if you had known him for years. All those little things that planted another set of needles poisoned with some attraction for him in your heart.

You [03:54] : I would’ve never found that many fun things to say about me

Jooheon [03:54] : that’s easy though, just answer “me too” or “not me” back to everything I said as a starter

You [03:55] : but rn honestly I’d rather ask “why” for each one of them

Jooheon [03:55] : that would be TMI. C’mon, maybe we have some things in common, and I asked for it first so let’s be fair

He was keeping the conversation on, something you could’ve never asked for. And that’s how you told him a bit about you, your character, fun stories about your job, your favorite food, your last travel destination, the things you liked and disliked about people ; random but somehow intimate facts he surprisingly shared or acknowledged most of the time.

It was too late to go back to your “not-caring-anymore” resolution, you were trapped into the soulmate machine that had eaten all of you, that had manufactured you so that you’d be just as the law wished you to : fond of your ideal one.

                 * * *

         He hated waking up above everything else in life. Because every time his mind slowly reconnected with reality and acknowledged the start of another day, he immediately felt crushed by that hole in his chest, before he even opened his eyes or moved. That familiar yet still depressing emptiness, that melancholic sensation which had tarnished his heart, infiltrated the blood in his veins and lodged under the cells of his skin ; that had dug its way towards the entirety of his body.

Every single morning since their break up, Jooheon was reminded of how lifeless she had left him, how wounded he had been because of another human being, how shitty he had to feel about himself for having let his own life be engulfed by gloominess day after day ; but he couldn’t bring himself out of it.

At first, it had been as if he had dragged his body here and there, keeping on with life soullessly, as a witness of the time and moments that passed by before his two eyes, without him sincerely enjoying anything. Still, his six childhood friends, whom he called his brothers as their bond was the strongest the only child he was could have asked for, had repeatedly tried to brighten his sky and shake him out of his sadness.

They kept on telling him that love was all about opportunities : relationships would come and go, until you’d settle with someone simply sharing the same feelings as you, not someone who supposedly fitted your idealistic vision of love. There was nothing that could beat the sincerity of the heart, they said. She might have filled all the criteria he looked for in a woman, she might have brought him a happiness way more intense than the regular one, but another girl who’ll truly love and cherish him would bring him her lot of dazzling sensations, they ensured.

“True love equals soulmates” Kihyun had told him, and it had been the most compelling sermon Jooheon had heard, as it had lingered in his mind for quite a while.

“If she left, it means she wasn’t truly made for you because she wasn’t able to love you and appreciate you, not because you don’t deserve to be loved. The rule might have showed you the girl of your dreams, but it doesn’t necessarily mean that this dream needs to be your reality Jooheon-ah” Hoseok had lectured him a few weeks after the painful separation, when the reddish-haired man had been consoling himself into many bottles of beer.

They argued that love was all about its duality, mixing happiness and sorrow ; joyful moments and heartbreaks ; one individual and another but with two different conceptions of the word “relationship” and “love” they had to mingle together in order to find their own definition, implying an everyday work and fight ; two mass of cells that couldn’t just rely on the fact that they somehow statistically and scientifically could fit.

They took the heart-line variable as an example, or even his own case of one-way soulmate, and if Jooheon had listened to them, if he had started to believe in their words, if deep down he knew they were the ones of truth, there was always that time of the day, as it was dark outside and he was alone in his room with nothing else but his thoughts to keep him company, when he ended up taking a thousand of steps backwards, right where she had left him – hopeless.

However, at one point, a part of him had come to find satisfaction in his blues, and he had learned to smile truthfully again. Indeed, he had come to the simple resolution of not taking the risk to get himself hurt, by never involving his feelings ever again when it came to girls ; and then, by locking himself up in his fear, he had sought comfort in smiling at the smallest things in life as they mostly didn’t deal with love, and he had finally felt human, again.

Well, his insomnia and the painful awakening were always there to remind him that his laid-back attitude was only a mask ; but that daily rollercoaster had turned into a bearable one, thanks to his detached spirit he was hiding himself behind every day.

But this morning had been more aching than usual, as he had dreamt of her. Of her big bright eyes searching his, of her resplendent smile shining upon him, of her gracious hands that hadn’t touched him in his imaginary world. She had been out of his reach, just for him to contemplate. It had been seven long months since they had parted ways, so Jooheon wasn’t sure if those dreams of her meant that he still had feelings for her, or just that he was supposed to be impregnated of her for the rest of his life thanks to that fucking rule.

He had first met her one year and a half ago, through a friend-of-friend’s birthday party he had been invited to and so had her, coincidentally. And just like you, he had tumbled into some kind of ecstasy the second his eyes had dropped on her, at the back of the living room, laughing and talking with two other girls. He knew no one except the host and the friend who had brought him along with him not to feel lonely, so he had had to stay with him, when he had craved to walk to her.

Finally, he had found the time breach to slip away and the courage the go to her as she had been sipping on her soft drink alone, and, just like you, his words and actions had come naturally and easily. They had engaged a long and cheerful conversation, becoming slightly touchy with each other, making Jooheon’s flesh consume in desire every time she had landed her small fingers on his body.

“It’s amazing, it seems like you have the answer to all my questions!” she had brightly exclaimed as they had reached the opened windows, facing the sky of Seoul in its dark blue color.

Jooheon had then simply showed her the red life-line scorching his palm, making her face’s expression switch to shock, then to something warm as she revealed her shining heart-line with a shy smile.

“So that was why…” she had breathed out as chills had covered her spine.

“Yeah, I’m even startled myself at how my mind clicks with yours, this is… Amazing.” The boy had nodded, his fingers linked together and dangling over the barrier preventing them from falling.

“I like it, too” she had admitted.

And that was how it had all begun. A sweet encounter had turned into a blooming relationship where Jooheon had been totally into his partner, the special connection drawing him deeper and deeper into the intense feelings he had sincerely developed for her at first sight. And she had fallen for him, too. Every single worry, every single question, every single need she had, he could and would fill them up as if he read her like a book. He had cherished her to the fullest, and she had felt thankful.

But at some point, she also had felt burdened, because she had started to feel like she didn’t pay him back as much as she should. In her eyes, it had seemed like he loved her more than she did, as the more time passed by, the less she had managed to feel invested in what she did for him because he’d always move mountains and skies for her, and the less she would get him, his wants, his needs the way he got her. In the end, she had started to feel bad and uneasy for being on the receiving end.

And as if fate had planned it all, she had happened to come across her own soulmate – a new recruit at her work place. And that was when she had known and understood, the reason why Jooheon and her had grown apart : sadly, but simply, her feelings for him had started to fade away and hadn’t been enough for her to hold onto anymore. Meanwhile that male colleague, who was just compatible to her like she was just compatible to her actual boyfriend, had fallen for her, showcasing his feelings with his own attentions that had stolen her heart, little by little.

Even if she had tried to resist at first, the spell hadn’t helped her ; yet, it was her true feelings that had taken the best of her, as she had felt like breathing again with this man who managed to build a deep connection between them even without being struck by the famous indescribable force. Selfishly too, she had craved to know what it felt like to be with her soulmate, wishing to give someone what Jooheon had been giving her untiringly all this time, even if she had simply forgotten that she did use to cherish him as well, in her own way, back when she still loved him.

And all of that happened unbeknownst to Jooheon who, even if he had started to spot the distance she had been digging between them, had refused to acknowledge it and had chosen to trust her and the idyllic love he had been in for almost a year.

“I found my soulmate” she had finally blurted out one day, while they had been having dinner at Jooheon’s place, after he had asked her for the umpteenth time in the month what was wrong with her lately, his hand on hers.

Jooheon remembered every single word they had shared that night, the argument still as clear as water in his mind, as he had been tortured with her voice echoing again and again in his eardrums for weeks after.

“What?”

“I’m sorry…” she had whispered, her throat constricted by the pain while tears had flowed down her face rising up to look at him in the two eyes.

She had been able to depict the heartbreak she was putting him through just by how his traits fell into despair, panic and incomprehension, his grasp on her hand suddenly tightening.

“No babe, it’s okay… Why are you sorry, hm? Why?”

“Because I’m in love with him, Jooheon-ah.”

“Wait, what? I-I don’t understand”

“I’m sorry” she had repeated in a low voice.

“How come you- No you can’t, I mean we’re… We’re good, right? We were good! How come you fell for him like that? What did I do, hm? Tell me? You know I love you, I would do anything so tell me, if I ever did something wrong-”

“You did nothing wrong, Jooheon-ah! You did everything perfectly, to the point I felt like shit because it was like I could never give you back everything you gave to me! It was so hard to always be the one in this relationship feeling a step behind, you know that?” she finally confessed, her hand leaving his hold to fumble into her hair in frustration.

“What’s this nonsense! You’re perfect to me just as you are! I never asked for anything from you! You know it’s true, I’m happy right now! Just because you’re here with me and we- we love each other! We love each other babe, c’mon, it’s just a momentary bliss, you know that! That rule means nothing, you said so yourself!” he had rushed in a louder voice, his brows knotting on his forehead and his own tears accruing at the corner of his eyelids.

“It’s not about the rule or whatever! We don’t love each other anymore, just open your eyes! I wasn’t happy even with all you did for me, you were happy on your own! Don’t tell me you didn’t see the signs!” she had moaned back.

“I did see them, and I even asked you about it, but you told me there was nothing, so I chose to trust you!” he had defended cluelessly.

“I’m sorry. It’s just… My feelings are not the same as before. I tried really hard to keep up with you, but I can’t. That man I met, I don’t feel burdened with him. You’ll always love me more than I love you, because you have that spell transcending you, but this isn’t right-“

“Are you kidding me? You really think I’m here just because of that stupid rule? After all this time? I know my feelings! I love you because I fell for you, and I would be the same with or without this thing! Sure, it must have influenced me at the beginning, but now it’s just me and my feelings!” he had let his fear take the best of him by cutting her, his heart crumpling under his chest he had smashed with his fist to emphasize his sincerity.

“I feel suffocated when I’m with you, Jooheon-ah." She had started to cry again. "With him, I don’t have to be afraid that I’ll be lacking like I did with you, because I get him the way you get me, just like I used to get you before. Now that I met him, I can give my all without feeling that it’s never enough…”

“You just never truly loved me, that’s what you’re really telling me. Or else you would never have felt belittled or intimidated by my feelings, or else you would have known that I was happy with every single thing you gave me” Jooheon had mumbled between gritted teeth, his jaw clenched, before he shot her a tearful yet glaring stare.

He had felt like he had been sliced in two by a sword, one part of him burning into a fire of rage and betrayal that had whispered to him to insult her and turn his kitchen inside out ; another one filled with love and despair that had made him crave to beg her not to leave his side.

“I did love you, it wasn’t like that from the beginning…” she sighed. “I just don’t love you anymore, but that was before him. Meeting him just made me open my eyes. Maybe I am influenced by the spell, maybe not, but right now what I’m sure of, is that I fell for him anyway. You have to understand that, not the rest.”

“I can’t. And here you were questioning my feelings, when in fact you’re the one who’s just been struck by that thing… I can’t believe it. I can’t believe you! If my love was too much for you, it just means you didn’t love me back!”

“You just don’t listen… Think whatever you want of my sincerity. But you said it yourself, Jooheon-ah. That you would be the same even if there wasn’t this rule. The same goes for me. And hadn’t it been him, it would’ve been someone else.” she had felt tired of explaining herself.

“I can’t understand you. I won’t understand you. I’ve always done everything for you, ever since we met! Everything! And you loved me, so how could your feelings change when I didn’t?!” he had broken into tears shamelessly, having always showed himself completely naked before her, without pretending.

“I can’t explain it further, it just…. Faded away. I’m sorry.”

“Nobody will love you as much as I did, you know that? Nobody, not him, because he’ll feel lacking just like you did, won’t he?” he ended up spitting some nonsense, his eyes falling into some emptiness while his mixed feelings had killed him on the spot.

“You can’t tell when it comes to love. I wish you’ll find someone who’ll love you as much as I used to, if not more. I tried to stay, I really tried, but I couldn’t. I wasn’t as good for you as you wished to believe, Jooheon-ah. You have to admit that we weren’t perfect together. Everything does not depend on that rule, or else I wouldn’t have spent time with you to begin with. You just can’t tell what the heart will be like. My heart changed, and so will yours, one day.”

“You’re so selfish. You were only waiting to find the one for you without ever considering me as it.”

“I wish you the best, Jooheon. You deserve it.”

And with that, she had stood up while glancing at him one last time, the only sound in the apartment being their choked sobs and the air having been poisoned with the sadness that had seeped out of their tensed bodies. And she left, without ever turning back, nor coming back.

That thick atmosphere seemed to have never wore off his place, up ‘til now.

That was the reason why Jooheon couldn’t believe in love anymore, nor in himself. He had trusted his feelings, he had given his everything to someone, yet it hadn’t been enough to keep her by his side. She had been supposed to be the one for him, and he had done all he could to be the one for her effortlessly, yet she had found her happiness and satisfaction in her own ideal.

He then believed that love couldn’t measure up to that cruel soulmate rule, because the sincerity of his heart his friends talked about hadn’t been enough for her to remain in love with him ; because her feelings had definitely faded away once she had been confronted to the man of her profound dreams, making her aspire to reach something defined as “higher” than the ones she had with Jooheon ; because it then crushed the satisfaction one could find into the simplicity of genuine feelings.

Jooheon had wondered if he, too, had ever loved her to begin with, or if it hadn’t all been a lie sold by the force overpowering everyone, disguised into feelings. He had wondered if love was supposed to make people that selfish and blind, just as he and she had turned to be. He had been selfish and blind, by seeing only what he had wished to see, an ideal love flowing down a calm river, without looking at the steep waterfall it obviously had been getting closer to. He had been selfish and blind, as he had straightforwardly followed his passion, until it had burned them both. She had been selfish and blinded by perfection, seeking for an unreachable balance between the two members of a couple, when love was supposed to be sincere and giving in your own way, without comparison.

He had wondered what was supposed to happen to him now that the person who had been meant to fit and fill him in every way, hadn’t loved him. Could he ever be loved? And could he love, again?

He had wondered what place true love had in this calculated world, to the point he had went through migraines from overthinking.

He was condemned to fear that any compatible woman he’d meet from now on would eventually leave his side, because love was never enough to save them when facing perfection, because he hadn’t been enough to keep her. He had ceased to believe in love more that in the law, doubting that everything had fallen apart just because feelings could come as fast as they could go.

Yet, he might have forgotten, that someone actually would feel attracted to him passionately just as he had loved with all his heart, but mostly, that some people out there, still believed in love more than anything else. He had forgotten about the sincerity of other people after being deceived ; until he came across you again, that very terrible morning.

                   * * *

         You had woken up quite early for someone who had been out partying the past night, but there had been a bubble of excitement transporting you out of bed and ushering your steps outside your flat to go and do some shopping with Jiwoo. Tonight was the night, the one of the first event you had ever been in charge of, and not only this accomplishment made you feel great, but also the fact that you had talked with Jooheon and might talk to him sooner or later again.

You were in your best condition ever since autumn had begun, and it’s with light strides that you stepped out the subway and waited for your friend at a huge intersection of big avenues. You were supposed to meet in this district famous for its shops alleys, and you were a few minutes early as it was near your place.

“Y/N-ah!” the cheerful voice of your colleague finally made its way to your eardrums above the ambient din the crowd around the both of you was making.

She approached you and you stood in front of the crosswalk while chatting, waiting for the little symbolic man to turn green. When suddenly, once you detached your eyes from your phone’s screen indicating you where the first shop you wished to go was situated, they ended up landing on a familiar figure on the opposite side of yours, making your eyelids squint, then part the further they could from each other.

“This can’t be…”

Facing you, with his hands in the pockets of his deep blue track pants and his bust simply covered by a black hoodie in spite of the cold weather, the stick of a lollipop trapped between his filled lips, was standing Jooheon. You couldn’t quite believe it, but indeed, he was here, accompanied by another dude who was showing him something on his phone just like you had been with Jiwoo a few seconds before. The sidewalk was large enough for a row of ten people to walk side by side on it, so when the light finally turned green, you knew you wouldn’t have the chance to come across him or bump into him “accidentally”.

You were too appalled to make a move on him anyway, time passing by quickly as Jiwoo pulled you by the arm and started to step on the white lines painted on the ground, while you were busy staring indiscreetly at the man who were giving you the chills and the butterflies all over again, just at his sight.

“What are you doing? Move or we’ll get crashed by a car” Jiwoo joked as she was literally dragging your wobbly body behind her.

“He’s here Jiwoo how is that even possible how-“ you mumbled in a squeaky voice, your hands grasping her arm hard.

“Who? Wait what? Are you talking about the man from yesterday? Where?!”

You were halfway through the sidewalk when your eyes finally seemed to meet for a split second over the dozens of passengers between the two of you, causing you to shudder in delight, before he was out of your sight or reach. You dared to turn back once your feet stomped on a safer place than the road, to ensure yourself you indeed had met him by chance ; and your eyes indeed fell on his back and his famous flaming hair he covered with a black cap as he reached the side you had been standing on before at a lazy pace.

“Jiwoo-yaaaaa, how is it even POSSIBLE THAT I CAME ACROSS HIM?! What’s going on? Am I seeing things?!”

You were now shaking your friend as your pupils were still burning holes into his silhouette, until he finally disappeared through the crowd then down the stairways leading to the subway, leaving you numb the second you lost track of him.

“This is FREAKING AMAZING” the blonde girl said with an expression showing her fascination as she looked back to where you were staring. “You’re both giving me the chills seriously! I guess that’s what the soulmate law does! You’re filming a fucking movie Y/N-ah, I’m so glad to be a witness of it because I was starting to think that this was pure bullshit!”

So were you.

When you had been looking desperately for him, it had seemed like he would never show up ; but now that he had popped out of the depths of nowhere, you were definitely pulled into the hole of attraction by coincidences coming one after the other. How could you keep your resolution to remain reasonable and not get your hopes up that he was going to lift up your love life?

You ceased to agitate your body and the one of your friend as the buzz of your phone vibrated into the pocket of your padded jacket.

Jooheon [10:08 a.m.] : Didn’t we just pass by each other? It seems like I just saw you in Myeongdong

Terrific, was the word that would be the first to roll off your tongue if you were ever asked to describe this situation. Incredible, would be the one to tell people how you were feeling as you opened the message he had sent you, once again being the first to start the conversation before giving you the chance to land back on Earth after he had shaken up your world for the third time in less than 24 hours.

Your life-line that had been shimmering slightly all this time finally turned back to its flesh color, but your body felt warm, becoming insensitive to the freezing wind whirling in the streets, the overall sensation making you smile sheepishly as you typed an answer.

You [10:09 a.m.] : I think we did! Sorry I didn’t greet you, I wasn’t sure it was you at first and I was quite shocked tbh haha

How come you were being that honest? You quickly slid the device back into your pocket and decided to give your heart a rest by focusing on your task of the day : find yourself and Jiwoo an outfit for tonight’s reception.

Jooheon was staring at his own phone in his left hand where the heart-line had ceased to shine now that he was far enough from you, but his body had suddenly been eaten by unfamiliar chills, even when he had been wandering in the cold without feeling anything all morning long. Yet what was perturbing him the most, was the strong curiosity that kept on sprouting at the back of his head when he meant to empty his brain from any thought linked to a girl – except her, because he didn’t control it.

He had had to force himself not to look over his shoulder to watch your attractive traits he had only seen for a split-second, just to forget about them quickly and move on with his life like he had been doing for the past months. Yet there his fingers had been, typing a message to you yesterday and today as well before his usual defenses had refrained them to.

So, in order to make up for that short deviation he was half-heartedly regretting, Jooheon chose to mirror your action and put his phone in the large pocket of his sweater without answering to your enthusiastic response, shutting his eyes on the small desire to do so that was tickling his brain cells.

                 * * *

          Fifteen minutes. It was fifteen minutes before the guests would actually start to come by, and your stomach was twisting in pain as you felt the anticipation and the stress eat you up.

"Relax Y/N, your traits look so rigid!" Kihyun, one of your colleagues, chanted as he grabbed you by the shoulders and massaged them quickly. "Too bad I wasn't there last night to see you relax for the first time in the month"

"One last checkup, and I'll be good" you half-whispered as your throat had turned sore, and he chuckled before pouring you a cup of water from his standing place behind the buffet he just had checked for you ten minutes ago.

"Yes cap'!" he mocked you, and you finally smiled as you lightly hit his hand that had been offering you the soothing drink.

You spun around to watch the room, and honestly, it was exactly how you had wanted to be, if not more beautiful. You had opted for the classic round tables, but you liked the conviviality their form involved, and they were decorated in brown, clay and golden details surrounding the reddish flowers at the center, all those warm tones to reminisce the warm season fall was, as it came to an end. There were white and gold garlands as well as balloons behind the huge buffet and the stage where the spokespersons would stand to give their speeches, while the "photo spot" next to the entry was delimited by two wonderful floral sculptures. But the final touch was, the orchestra that had kindly agreed to put on brown or copper suits to fit into your theme.

Everything was right in its place, even the personal you had hired who were already in their positions, ready to take any order or to play the games your team had planned, with the help of an MC to relay them.

"This is beautifully chic, Y/N-ah. The young footballers are going to feel like the classiest people in the world tonight" Himchan, your team manager – and the one who had hit on you but forgot about it thanks to alcohol – told you with a smile, as you were busy lightning a few candles that had blown out on the tables.

"Thanks, Team Manager" you politely addressed him a smile as well, then your body shuddered slightly as you felt his eyes linger on your figure for a bit too long. "Is there something wrong with my outfit? We decided to buy something new with Jiwoo because we've used all of our black clothes but if-"

"No, no! Absolutely not! You- I mean this, this looks perfect!" he stuttered as he waved his hands before him. "I'll leave you to your task, I'll be at the entry! Join me in five minutes!"

And quickly, he was gone, a hand scratching the back of his scalp as if he was embarrassed about something.

Was he checking me right now? Shit…

You still took a quick glance at your clothes, but you felt quite good and ensured that you had made the right choice. You were wearing a black turtleneck with a tailor jacket above, a pair of skinny black corduroy trousers and slim low boots with square heels that were the most comfortable shoes you had worn for an event ever since the beginning of your internship. A glimpse of red lipstick, delicate golden loops on your ears, and you felt chic enough to walk into the room without feeling too diminished by the dressy people that would soon be seating everywhere.

And that "soon" came sooner than what you had thought, because soon enough, you were busy welcoming the football players, a lot of them making you weak in the knees because of their handsomeness. Yet you knew you weren't the only one feeling this way as your colleagues and the female workers never ceased to exchange some looks between them or with you, agreeing that you'll be getting an eyeful tonight.

A lot of famous brands had been invited as well, and you felt honored to hear compliments from their owners or representatives as they walked into the room, their eyes shooting open and their mouths falling into a smile as they were met with the ambiance you had settled for them.

A few presentations, quizzes, thanks and plates later, you could finally let out a sigh of relief as you walked down the stage after having introduced the dessert under dozens of pair of eyes gazing at you, because it was the moment for you to take a break. You retreated at one of the tables in the corner of the room, where a part of your team was actually eating before the time of their next shift came, and you overlooked at your work with stars in your eyes. All those people were having a good time thanks to you, and nothing else could have warmed your heart that much tonight.

Nothing…?

Your brain had finally some time to spare and think of someone who actually made you burn, and you realized he hadn't answered to your last message from the morning, making you frown. The desire to talk to him now that you had switched off the party and your duties spread in your body as if you had simply clogged it at the back of your head all day long, so you couldn't prevent your fingers to type something, momentarily forgetting about the regrets you could have from letting yourself get involved with him any further without knowing where it would get you.

You [10:02 p.m.] : Catching a sight of my face in the broad daylight cut your desire to ever talk to me again?

You bit your lip and sipped on the single flute of champagne you were allowed to drink during the whole night, savoring each drop of it, and your eyes fell on one of the tables that was particularly loud. The boys around it were pretty cheerful, loud mewls falling from their mouths as they ate with enthusiasm their dinner, and the fun and happiness of the situation turned to be distracting enough for you to not feel the long minutes that separated your message from Jooheon's answer.

Jooheon [10:13 p.m.] : No sorry, had a pretty messy day, and I don't go on this app often. What's up?

Your heart burst under your ribcage and you almost dropped your glass to get a hold of your phone before answering immediately, not wanting to miss this chance. You were like a teenager talking to her crush, but you didn't care ; something in this excitement felt addictive as you just didn't want this electricity in your body to stop flowing, and you liked how spontaneous you were being with him.

You [10:14 p.m.] : Don't apologize, I was just joking! I have to admit that I was really shocked by this coincidence, the probability's quite small haha

Thirty minutes passed, and still nothing. You were getting upset but were knocking yourself mentally at the same time, for being that impatient and that much on the nerves just because of him. Yet as time went by, the wings that were supposed to save you from falling for him and getting desperate started to flap, as you finally grew cautious of your overreacting behavior. It was almost the end of your break anyway, so you had to stop waiting for anything from this tentative of exchange behind a screen, even if you had wished you could talk for hours like the past night-

Jooheon [10:45 p.m.] : Yeah that was kinda surprising. Sorry I'm taking a long time to answer, I'm out with my best friends and

Jooheon [10:45 p.m.] : I'm a bit tipsy and surrounded by too many discussions at the same time

As if he could hear your contradictory thoughts, he showed up again when the balance had almost dropped to the "be reasonable Y/N" side. You sighed in relief and smiled at his fractured answer, glancing one last time at the hour indicating you that the moment when you wouldn't be able to talk to him was getting closer and closer.

You [10:46 p.m.] : Don't worry, I'm out too, actually at an event I've organized so I'll be busy as well! I just wanted to talk to you even during a short time, our discussion was interesting yesterday

Honesty. Every single one of your actions was guided by honesty without you controlling it, as if you weren't supposed to play a game or pretend with him at all. Every single phrase of your precedent lecturing about remaining the two feet on solid ground, where reality could less hit you, got absorbed into your phone's screen by their opponent : his next message.

Jooheon [10:47 p.m.] : Oh cool! What's the event? I might see you on the news, right?

Jooheon [10:47 p.m.] : I had a great time talking to you too, it was better to eat my dumplings with someone keeping me company in a way

"What the hell am I thinking…" Jooheon mumbled as he placed his phone on the small table he shared at the bar with three of his friends.

"That's exactly the question I was about to ask you man" Changkyun, his closest friend, nudged him while his two eyes were scanning the bubbles on the screen.

"Hey, do you always read other's conversations you asshole?" Jooheon slammed his shoulder before putting the device in the pocket of his black jacket.

"You've been typing and retyping things since this morning in this convo, don't you think I'll get curious? Who's the girl?"

Jooheon took a long sip of his beer, before letting out a hiss of contentment as the bittersweet taste graced his buds.

"I met her at the club yesterday. You know me, I don't give a shit about meeting compatible girls but this one… I swear she was so gorgeous. And I had that familiar feeling of déjà-vu, then it turns out that we matched on Tinder. We talked last night, and I even ran into her this morning. That's funny, but-"

"You're getting interested, that's it" Changkyun cut him off with a sly smile.

"I'm not!" he vigorously protested, the two words twisting his stomach in discomfort. "I'm not, just… Our conversation from last night changed from the usual dating app shitty chattering, nothing less nothing more" he then convinced himself while nodding his head, avoiding the three pair of eyes that were darting question marks at him.

"Then why do you look so bothered to be just talking to her?" Hyungwon, on the seat facing him, asked while shrugging.

Good question, that Jooheon couldn't answer truthfully. One side of him was confident that he just liked to discuss because you were a cool person and it was cool to talk to someone new, but another one felt like he was somehow excited about this, and he feared it as much as he hated it.

"True, the second I asked you about it, you got on the defensive side and started blabbering random things" Changkyun laughed at him after having gulped down his glass.

"It's just that it's been a long time since I talked with a girl without thinking too much of it, so it's weird, that's all" he admitted out loud, the thought bugging him too much for him to keep it.

"Well you are right to do so, just have fun!" Minhyuk, sitting next to Hyungwon, encouraged him further, like he always had after the breakup. "It won't kill you to talk, and maybe you'll see that something can happen"

"I don't want it, you know that hyung" Jooheon withdrew into himself, sinking back into his chair and his eyes piercing the face of the blonde boy.

"For now, Jooheon-ah. Not forever."

"That, is for me to decide" Jooheon warned him between gritted teeth. "We're not having this discussion again."

"The heart does what it wants" his friend smiled cheekily, earning an eye-roll from your interlocutor who finally remembered you had answered him a few minutes ago already. "I'm just telling you to at least have fun, not to marry her! And if she's on Tinder, there's more than 50% chance that she isn't looking for anything as well."

One last deadly glance at the culprit and the talk was over, before Jooheon unlocked his cellphone with a loud heartbeat, the words from his friend resounding into his eardrums. Have fun. What was that supposed to mean? He wasn't even sure if he could take anything further than a few smirks at you anyway, as he had lost most of his confidence when it came to approaching women. When he was behind his bar, he could easily suit himself into the playful bartender with cocky smiles ; but once outside, once there was nothing to comfort his roleplay anymore, Jooheon felt trapped in his insecurity.

You [10:47 p.m.] : The sponsorships' launching for the most famous clubs of football in Korea!

His face froze into a shocked expression, his eyebrows rising up on his forehead, as this new coincidence wasn't helping him to see you only as a conversation buddy, and not a little bit special girl.

"What is she saying?" Changkyun caught the surprise on his close friend's face and grew curious.

"I think… She's at the same event as Kihyun hyung and the rest of the boys tonight" Jooheon chuckled in disbelief, his head tilted to the side.

"NO KIDDING?!" the three dumb and dumber allies exclaimed.

"This is getting reaaaally exciting" Minhyuk chirped while tapping his fingers together in a mischievous way.

Jooheon [10:54 p.m.] : Ah

Jooheon [10:54 p.m.] : Actually I was invited at this one, some of my friends must be there with you

You [10:55 p.m.] : What?! Really? Are you a player? But you were serving at a bar yesterday…

Jooheon [10:55 p.m.] : I used to play, yes. But I got a severe injury months ago. So my team must be here, some of us were kinda the new hope to make it in the next National team

You [10:56 p.m.] : Oh… Sorry for the injury. That's why you told me you loved it as much as you hated it…

Jooheon [10:56 p.m.] : You remembered that?

You [10:56 p.m.] : Seems like I did haha

You [10:57 p.m.] : You and your friends can still come you know, if you have your name on the list! And if not, I'm the organizer so I can make you enter! You don't know what you're missing, I put my blood and sweat into it… And I'm sure your team would be glad to see you

Jooheon [10:57 p.m.] : Idk if that's a good idea Y/N… But thanks for the invitation

You [10:57 p.m.] : Look, I have to leave, but if you ever change your mind, here's my number!

"We must go Jooheon-ah! We can hang out with the boys, surrounded by rich people and undoubtfully beautiful models, c'mon! And it might be your chance to let yourself go a little for one night" Minhyuk urged him before he ended his drink in no time to prove him how impatient he was.

"Minhyuk hyung is right, let's go have some fun out there instead of that same bar. Your team must miss you y'know" Changkyun incited him with a hand on his right shoulder, shaking him a little.

"You guys can go, then! I can't face them nor my previous opponents knowing they'll be pitying me or laughing at me! Not talking about that bastard who fucked up my leg!" Jooheon suddenly fired up, a hurt expression masking his traits.

"They won't pity or mock you, you fool! No one in the sports field jokes about injuries like that! Jooheon-ah, you need to stop being so resigned to face the things that might bring you bad memories because that's what makes you move on! C'mon let's go, so you can meet your teammates and move on from your rupture with football, and so you can meet that girl and move on from your heartbreak. It is high time you hook up with someone from the opposite gender, and maybe have a one-night stand if it can help" Minhyuk lectured him before standing up and grabbing his arm fiercely.

"C'mon mate, it's been months for the two already, you're not going to live behind walls forever you know?" Changkyun moderated the blonde's speech he still shared.

"I fucking hate all of you" Jooheon mumbled as he wasn't that hard to convince.

Because deep down in his guts, something had already told him to go and meet you ; maybe it was the bundle of anticipation and adrenaline that the unknown of the situation had rooted right down to his core.

"Not guilty" Hyungwon defended as they finally walked outside the bar to grab a cab.

Jooheon [11:04 p.m.] : Looks like I'm on my way

                 * * * 

          "I shouldn't be here, I'm going home" Jooheon resigned himself as his friends were reaching the doors to the place you had rent to host your event.

"No, come back here boy! You're going to enter this party, to eat, to talk, to smile, and maybe to kiss!" Minhyuk ordered as he grabbed the fugitive by the collar of his jacket, blocking him in his steps meant to take him away from here.

Jooheon swore under his breath at the last beer he had drank, accusing it of making him abdicate before his friends and letting them drag him here, to the gates of his nightmare. Behind the glass doors they were holding for him to walk through, the two biggest triggers of his deepest emotions were waiting for him : one, a girl who had stimulated him but not in a pure sexual way when he had sworn to himself he'd never deal with feelings for women until further notice ; two, the fellows he had shared one of his dearest passion with, the same who would bring him the sad memory that the time he had lived off his dream was now over.

"Do you want me dead?" he whined while looking at Minhyuk's grip that had slid down his left arm.

"No, I want you alive, so alive that you live in the present and not in the fucking past. Let's. Go. Now!"

Another phrase that rang into his mind. How come did he sound so right tonight? Was it that beer, again?

"You sucker…" he barely responded, his skills to counterattack lacking impressively.

"Love you too, buddy. You'll thank me later!"

The doors were pushed and so was the panicked human whose body was under high tension, until he finally stepped into the huge room where funk music was played, where low lights were dancing between the roof and the tiled floor, where multiple conversations covered each other, creating an ambient buzz in his ears ; because as his eyes finally landed on you, who were talking to some guy on the stage, Jooheon forgot about his fears.

The premises of a smile inched at the corners of his closed mouth, as he felt somehow great just like the day before, when he had found you in the dancing crowd then right behind his back at the counter. His gaze was glued to every single detail of your features as he once again got absorbed by your beauty, but this time without the barman roleplay to get it over with. In your all-black outfit, with a masculine-feminine touch that enhanced a certain sexiness, you glowed in the middle of fancy dresses that didn't fit his style, at all.

You, were totally his style ; maybe that was the reason why he was having a hard time turning away from you once and for all, without his mind constantly looking back at the pictures he made of you in his memory. How come you could be as enthralling as his ex when you weren't even destined for him?

"Good evening gentlemen, can I have your names, please?" a young man suddenly appeared in front of him with sheets of paper in his hands, shaking him slowly out of his trance, but Changkyun was already handling the situation.

"His name is on the list, Lee Jooheon from Daegu FC, and we're honor-guests he brought with him" his best friend answered naturally.

"Boss, come here a second please, we have latecomers" the man mumbled in his walkie-talkie quietly.

A simple turn of your head in the direction of the entry, a single glance at the one you had wished to see again face to face, and you were melting like a marshmallow at the contact of fire. Your left hand was tickling again, and it's with wobbly legs that you made your way towards the four men who were looking at you expectantly – especially Jooheon, that sketched a shy smile at you, his dark eyes turning to crescents but still displaying some kind of spark.

"Good evening, gentlemen. It's okay Changmin-ssi, I know them, and this one is with the club on table 4" you managed to explain to your colleague who nodded and let them walk further into the room.

Your eyes landed again on your ideal, whose dimple smile appeared completely as he kept on looking back and forth between you and whatever dot he could see in the room behind your back, telling you he was somehow embarrassed to face you. He was stunning as ever, with his flamboyant hair combed in the back with a slightly wet effect, and wearing a black jacket with round silver pins along the seams of its collar, sleeves and pockets, a black tee shoved into a black pair of skinny jeans and low leather boots. A classy look yet different from the ordinary tailor suit every single man in this room was bearing tonight.

"Let me show you the way" you finally addressed them with a smile, your voice hovering the ones of the rest of people.

"Thank you, for letting us come in" the tallest from the group humbly told you and you only nodded your head in response, Jooheon's presence knocking you out.

The loud thump of your heart was contrasting with how light your heart felt ever since you were around him again, and this time you could truly feel the power of attraction as you were completely sober, the sensations becoming twice more unique than the past night when you had been struck for the first time. The butterflies were fighting in your stomach again, the chills had made one with your skin, the air had become as hot as in a desert and the desire was still indescribable, a nice cocktail to make you weak.

"Oh my- Jooheon-ah! Guys! When did you come?!" your colleague Kihyun shouted in your backs, making you jump into place before rotating on your heels to witness the scene.

"Heeey, you look great bro!" the one your colleague greeted as Changkyun threw at him as he approached the group at lightspeed, before they engulfed each other into a masculine accolade.

"Y/N, let me present you my childhood friends! I'm so glad they could make it! Remember when we talked about school and so on? Most of my stories were with them! This is Chae Hyungwon, Im Changkyun, Lee Jooheon and Lee Minhyuk!" Kihyun got excited, his arms on the shoulders of the-said Minhyuk and Jooheon's, who was looking back at you with an identical surprise that masked your traits.

They knew each other? How small the world could be…

"A-Ah yeah, I remember! But looks like they should learn from you to come in time" you joked.

"What did you tell her? Not something gross I hope?" Minhyuk worried, smiling at you.

"I'll keep my mouth shut" you teased.

You still hadn't heard Jooheon's voice, but his eyes were pealing you like an onion, his stare fixed on you making you grow shy and self-conscious. However, if his face might have wished to remain neutral, you felt like you were reading through his expression, that seemed to be close to fascination the more his eyes scanned you from your head to your toes.

"You're arriving at the end of the staff's service, but Y/N and I will do it for you. What do you drink?" Kihyun asked them once you were both posted behind the buffet.

The boys all passed their commands, except for Jooheon who, once again, had his lips sealed and his gaze floating between you and the room. He didn't feel uneasy next to you, nor embarrassed, just simply out of words because the whole situation was escaping his hands which usually were always controlling everything he did, every choice he made. But tonight, his brain had turned off once he had faced you, the rules he had imposed himself long gone into the depths of his memory. He felt out of his body that suddenly turned to you confidently.

Fuck it, for one night, he finally thought.

"Surprise me" he then copied your behavior from the night before, and seeing your surprised expression, he let out a laugh.

His laugh was a tone higher than his voice, a sweet melody you were glad to hear after long minutes of silence. You giggled back and started to pour him the only cocktail you wouldn't mess up too bad, a piña colada, and your spine turned chilly as he spoke up again :

"You're pretty good at it." He declared gently.

"Thanks, coming from a professional I'm deeply touched!"

"The room is nice too, you were right, I would've missed something" he smiled once your eyes met again. "So everything here comes from your head, right?"

He had pushed the right button, as you started to describe him the scheme you had followed before ending up putting this setting into life tonight. Your words fell out of your mouth one by one, as if you had been talking for hours long already. You enjoyed talking to him, the attention he gave you by nodding or humming warming your heart and cheeks. Maybe you would make at least a new friend out of this, if you couldn't have his love like with all the previous ones.

He wouldn't have thought he could be that relaxed around a pretty girl, listening quietly to you without any overthinking bugging his mind and making him stutter or put an end to the conversation. With you and your welcoming attitude, everything was easy, so easy that his fears and questions weren't fed. Maybe he, too, would make a new friend out of it.

Right, a friend Jooheon-ah. Nothing bad.

"Hereee!" you finally extended your right hand to him, and he received the drink with a small bow. "So, you used to play in the Daegu FC, right? I checked. And now, you're living in Seoul, the city of your field's huge enemy…"

"That's right, it's pure treason, isn't it?" he smirked before taking a sip, coating his lips with white foam before he licked it quickly. "I'm probably going to come across the Seoul buddy who helped me get a knee ligament rupture and a malfunctioning leg"

You gulped at his sarcasm, observing him as his eyes were scanning the crowd, probably looking for the player he had been talking about. And as you followed his stare that had stopped on a certain group of sportsmen, it was as if you could share what Jooheon felt deep down, your heart crumpling at the sight of one them he was gazing at with insistence. The boy was smiling and dancing around his table with his mates, while Jooheon suddenly seemed lonely, in his own bubble with only you to notice the painful frown which passed his traits like a brisk of air.

"Where's your team? Don't you wish to meet them?" you finally asked to root him out of his thoughts probably full of regrets.

"The loud boys down there, that's them. But I'm… Too embarrassed to confront them" Jooheon admitted out loud, before his eyelids grew apart in surprise as his mind was being way too open. "Sorry, pretend you didn't hear that"

How come his tongue was untying itself without consulting? Ah, right, his defensive functions were nowhere to be seen at the moment.

"But I did. I get that you're embarrassed, but I'm sure you'll feel better when you'll see they're not. C'mon, let's go! Your friends are with them anyway" you invited him, stepping out from behind the buffet and coming next to him. "I know I'm just a stranger, so my words probably mean nothing, but trust me, I have a good intuition most of the time, Kihyun can confirm."

Jooheon's heart bloomed into something bigger and hotter, burning his whole ribcage yet soothing his body now that he felt a presence next to him. Yes, you were a complete stranger, but you somehow felt comforting, as your friendliness and the simple of your questions and answers didn't put him into a spot where he had to think. He then began to walk to the table along with you, a small smile disguising your lips as your arms brushed. However, you were abruptly cut through your course by the famous guy Jooheon had been staring at earlier.

"Wow, Lee, you look… Great! It's cool to see you tonight! How are you doing?" the guy stammered with a smile, but you could perceive the embarrassment in his chocolate eyes.

Jooheon immediately tensed next to you, his bloody organ cowering back to a suffocating state.

"Hi, Kwon. I'm doing good, and you? I heard you're the favorite for the sponsorships this year" he still managed to answer calmly.

A part of him despised this good-looking, tall, and somehow kind man, his smile killing him with jealousy and rancor when he knew he shouldn't. Back when the incident had happened, Jooheon had been persuaded that he had done it on purpose, or if not, that he hadn't felt sorry for his loss, because they had been each other's biggest opponent to make it into the national team. But his own team had helped him work on his hatred, telling him that he hadn't hurt him voluntarily, that there was no one to blame, except for misfortune.

Still, deep down he knew he hated him for being the one to play instead of him and have a greater chance to become a renowned player ; for being the one who had shared the same dream as him but also the one preventing him from achieving it ; for being the one to take away from him the only thing that could have helped him get through his breakup faster.

"I'm less handsome than you, but well, seems they like me for my body!" the guy joked again. "When am I meeting you on the field again? It's been five months, is it going well? Look, I never had the chance to properly tell you, but I'm… sorry about what happened, I just wish you could recover soon, hyung."

Jooheon scoffed despite him, installing a thick atmosphere around the three of you. You snapped your head towards him, and once again, you immediately knew what he was thinking without even spotting how his fist clenched right next to your hand. You didn't quite know at this point if it was the law or simply your ability to understand people easily that made you get his mind at one glance, but you didn't care ; you had to prevent a curse from falling out of his lips that had turned into a thin line, or else something told you he'd regret it.

"He's not fully recovered yet, but it's getting better, thank you for worrying. Sorry to interrupt, but I have to accompany him to his table and then go back to my other tasks, so if you'll excuse us"

The boy nodded in confusion, the troubled look in his eyes apparent as he smiled and bowed politely to the both of you, and you gently grabbed Jooheon by the arm before walking straight towards his teammates. That touch sent waves of numbness up to your shoulder, while it finally shut all of Jooheon's spiteful voices turning into his head.

"Boss, we need you to introduce the charity project and the afterparty in two minutes" your walkie-talkie spoke up.

Only a few steps had been taken and you quickly let go, your body overwhelmed by your spontaneity you didn't explain nor understood, and you rotated on your heels to look at Jooheon as he watched you with a blank face.

"I'll leave you to your teammates, sorry for… Interfering. But I didn't want a fight to begin between you and this man" you confessed, suddenly embarrassed by your actions.

"Thank you, Y/N. I sincerely was about to punch his face, because when it did happen to me, I didn't see an ounce of regret on his face at first. He was happy that I was out, because well, I was good" Jooheon explained, shaking his head in disbelief as he was thrilled by the wave of anger that had submerged him. "But I would've regretted creating trouble at your event, and I know he kind of meant what he said."

You only smiled shyly and stepped to his right so that he could walk past you, but instead, he turned again to face you.

"I don't think I should meet those people tonight, I'm still pretty sensitive about the subject. I'll step out. I'm sorry, you invited me and helped me enter…"

"You're leaving?!" you blurted out, deception clearly audible in your shaking tone.

Your two eyes bore into his and froze him into his spot, and it became suddenly hard to disappear, to walk away from you, to put an end to this encounter that had been short, once again. Something felt unachieved, would it be the conversation you could have if you kept on talking, or the moment you were about to share if you kept each other company.

"I… I think it's for the better. I don't feel great, being here."

"I'm out of service in a few minutes, because at midnight, everyone's going to the afterparty. I just have to help the staff pack quickly. Would you… Mind waiting for me? I'm done with all this people as well and I've been running everywhere all night long, so I would gladly enjoy some fresh air" you offered expectantly.

This was your last card, your last chance to stick by his side a little longer, to bathe into dreamland for one night only, even if tomorrow would probably put an end to it as your relationships with men never lasted long. He was special to you, but you weren't to him ; however, you still were desperate to live in the bliss he was putting you through to the fullest, so you wouldn't ever regret it.

Jooheon's mind, on the other hand, would've said no, had he been supposed to follow his restrictions and let his usual fears eat him out. But tonight, it had taken you a few smiles and phrases to touch his wounded heart, and Jooheon couldn't get enough of this comforting feeling, of the lift off his shoulders you were being, of the silencing of his thoughts you had provoked. Selfishly, he wished for a night where he could feel great after a long time, and it seemed like you were able to just do that.

"I'll be waiting outside."

                * * *

        "What about dumplings and beer? It's my treat, I'm sorry you had to wait for so long but there was more to do than I thought…" you apologized as you both walked down the luminous streets of Seoul.

Jooheon chuckled while putting his hands into the pockets of his jeans.

"Don't worry, during the whole time my friends tried to convince me to come with them at the afterparty"

"So you met your teammates in the end…?" you asked, your own hands burning as you felt steaming hot even at the beginning of an icy fall night.

"Yeah… They were happy to see me, you were right. It was weird, but nice. Still I just didn't feel like hearing them talk about matches and football stories all night long when I'm not a part of it anymore…"

Sadness impinged his nosy voice, even if his face was straight, with his two sharp eyes staring right before him nonchalantly. You felt great to be the one to listen this time, your heart fluttering as it seemed like you were growing closer naturally, exchanging thoughts just like you had the past night. You understood why it was him who was the one for you, as being around him was like being around an old friend who got you and who you got.

"I would've felt the same, honestly" you sighed. "But you'll never be able to play again…?"

Silence, but not an uncomfortable one ; just the time it took to Jooheon to put words together in order to describe this regretful situation.

"At first, it should've been a classical knee ligament rupture with 6 months of re-education, but the doctor kind of messed it up so it's not completely… Repaired. I'm still not able to play right now, and in the sports field, you have to keep up with training or else you'll lose your level. By the time I catch up, it will be too late, I'll never have a chance to become a national player again."

You hummed in comprehension, as it was your turn to search for something to say.

"I can't tell you irrational words of encouragement, I'm sure you know what you're talking about" you surprised him by your sincerity. "However… I don't think you'll never be able to play again. I don't think you lose your talent overnight. I'm pretty sure it's still down there, in those legs, it just needs to be worked on all over again. But it's reaaaally hard to be motivated to work from scratch. I hope you won't give up, but if you give up, it's pretty understandable because it's gonna be fucking hard. Like everything in life, in the end!"

From all the things he had heard, it was by far the most relatable comment Jooheon had received, finding home into his eardrums and even in his head as he nodded slowly. You were being rational, but also comforting ; how could you do that?

"No pain no gain, right?" he chuckled quietly, letting a small cloud of fog escape his lips before it dissipated into the air.

"Exactly! And as you still didn't answer my question, dumplings and beers it will be, whether you like it or not!" you exclaimed loudly.

           "How come you didn't finish that anime? I don't get your mini you! You footballers only watch Captain Tsubasa, that's it?" you lolled your head in the back, your hands up in the air in frustration, before they dropped to grab your beer pint with energy.

You both were seating at a table in a cozy pub, not too crowded, with a tavern-like vibe and some old rock music playing in the background. Two empty plates were piled up in the center, where dumplings and other appetizers had been lying in perfect lines before you had eaten them up hungrily. And by the time you had come to talk about childhood cartoons and anime, you had stopped counting the glasses you had drank. You were a bit tipsy, feeling relaxed and lively, with some electric shocks jolting through your body every time Jooheon's knee accidentally bumped against yours.

The boy had taken off his jacket and pulled the long sleeves of his black top up to his elbows that were planted in the wooden material of the small table, his sharp eyes shining as well as his teeth while he laughed at your overreaction. For the first time in seven months, it was way past midnight, and his heart didn't feel heavy, his head wasn't rotting with dark thoughts, his body didn't feel weak, no ; he was perfectly fine, because of – or rather thanks to – you.

You had been chatting and debating for hours now, your cheeks becoming hot again from the beers you had clinked together and the laughs you had shared, the both of you enjoying the time you were spending together without thinking of what was going to happen next.

Were you definitely falling for him? Was he finally opening to a woman after so long?

It didn't matter right now ; what enthroned the situation was the sincerity with which you were talking to each other, as good friends would. Until the time for the closure of the bar came, and you realized that there weren't any means of transport besides taxis or your feet for you to go home.

"Let's go, I'll take you home, it's late" Jooheon said softly as you both stood up and left the cozy nest that had sheltered you away from your everyday lives and rules for a while.

Your heart felt heavy all of a sudden, as the moment where you would part ways and maybe never meet each other again was getting closer, and you dreaded it. You wished that this night would last longer, because you couldn't get enough of his presence, his laugh, his small confessions about his passions or his life stories that he made sound as boring, when they were anything but dull to you. You knew you would have come to like him anyway, had there been the law or not ; he was sweet, funny, sincere, and vulnerable behind a strong facade – everything your heart could fall for.

It took a good twenty-minutes-walk for you to reach your district, and Jooheon suddenly halted in his steps :

"You live around here?" he questioned, his eyes looking up and going over all the huge buildings and shops surrounding the both of you.

"Yes, why?"

"Me too" he scoffed in disbelief. "I live like two minutes away from here, and you?"

"Five for me…" you answered with round eyes meeting his, and you both broke into a shy yet amused smile.

Until you slowly came to the realization that you could actually part ways right now, your direction being the opposite of his but close enough for him to let you walk back on your own.

His eyes got sucked up into the two intense galaxies your face supported, before they surprisingly dropped to your red-tinted lips, and Jooheon became a prey to an unfamiliar sensation, something he hadn't felt in a while ; a desire he thought he could never feel again as his heartbreak had wasted all of his emotions. But as his pupils remained on your traits for a bit too long, an incredible tornado of lust and need shook him up to the core, and he suddenly craved to steal a kiss from those pretty lips.

Fucking beer, I'm losing my senses.

He didn't want to leave your side. You had eased his guard down in just a few hours, so he couldn't deny that you were… Special. He wanted to talk to you a lot more, he wanted to remain in this confused sensation longer as he felt calm and serene, but most of all, alive.

And you could decipher into his two eyes, in spite of how destabilizing they could be the more they stared right back at you, that he was having the same difficulty to say goodbye as you.

"Look-"

"-Do you want to go to my place?" Jooheon cut you before you could be reasonable, and his offer made your whole body shudder in surprise. "I don't know we… We were having a great time talking, and I'm not tired yet, so… But if you don't like going to a guy's place, I-"

"Let's go, it's freezing" you were the one to interrupt him this time, the roaring desire to stay with him taking the best of you and erasing your resolution not to get your hopes higher up with him than with the others who had, too, walked by your side, but only to leave soon after.

        Jooheon's apartment was situated in a decent building, with plenty of long balconies dressing its front view, and you quietly followed him up 'til the lift that soon took you to the third floor. The sound of his keys turning into the lock rang an alarm signal at the back of your head, reminding you of where you were actually entering and how unpredictable the rest of the night could be, but you couldn't care less.

It was the first time in a while that you didn't mind the consequences of your actions, and it felt good.

You passed a dark corridor, who then opened on a small living room next to the kitchen. The flat wasn't decorated much, as only a few figurines, pictures and cactuses could be spotted here and there ; overall, it was pretty neatly cleaned, and you couldn't prevent your mouth from forming a pout in approbation.

"Thought you'd step into a pigsty or what?" Jooheon called you out in an amused tone, as he placed his jacket on the back of the only yet big sofa.

"You actually look like Piglet, so yes, sorry" you joked as you too took off your coat and laid it next to his.

He cursed at you from the kitchen where you hounded him, and he offered you some crisps and water to fill up your stomachs that weren't full even after the two plates you had swallowed.

                 * * *

          "This is actually… The first time I brought a girl home ever since my… Last relationship, I guess" Jooheon suddenly admitted as you had settled in his bedroom, sitting on the mattress across a wooden bedspring, with some snacks separating the both of you.

He had changed for a pair of sweatpants and a white tank top under a grey zipped hoodie with the symbol of Iron Man drafted on it, showing you how comfortable he was being around you to even wear his pajamas. Despite the imposing building of his body the lose clothes revealed, he looked somehow innocent, but mostly vulnerable, with his brows furrowed on his forehead while his eyes were fleeing your stare.

You took in a sharp breath as you heard his confession, and the manner with which he broke into a full smile consumed you, his two dimples showing up. Minute after minute, his cheeks were turning to a rosy tint you could still decipher despite the blue glow of the neon lights that were laid on his bedroom's floor.

His left hand came up to scratch the back of his neck, while yours was burning as if you detained a source of flames in your palm, and you wondered how come he still hadn't noticed the red shining mark. Had he drunk too much to see clearly?

"Honored to be such a guest" you smiled back, clenching your fist even more.

"So that makes it… Seven months? Yeah, seven months, wow. You're the only girl I'm not beware of, to be honest" he chuckled again, his fingers this time finding his hair he messed up a little, making strands fall on either side of his forehead.

"Why would you be wary of women?"

"Because one of you literally stabbed me in the back and turned me into this mess, I'm pretty scared of myself actually" he sighed.

Your heart crumpled under your ribcage, and you brought your legs against your chest before landing your chin on their knees, your eyes searching his face that was dropped to his hands now fumbling with the sheets. He seemed to be about to confess about something that had lingered in his mind and was bothering him, seeing how his expression had darkened. His second sigh took your breath away.

"Want to talk about it?" you shrugged. "I'm a good listener, people tend to say."

Jooheon's eyes leveled up and as they met yours, his heart did a blip up to his throat. You were stunning, but moreover, you were appealing in some kind of way ; he felt like talking to you would be the same as talking to himself inside his head, because you prospected an aura of kindness and reassurance.

"Not sure it'll interest you. It was just a funny realization I had" he tried to divert the subject one last time, his doubts plaguing the light you had spread into his mind, like ink into water.

Brace yourself, Jooheon-ah. It was fine to talk about futile things, why would you mess everything up with that shitty story?

"You don't get to judge that" you replied, taking him aback. "I can talk about my past relationships too, you know, I don't mind. Sometimes talking just do us good, right?"

Right, his eyes told you as they softened, so did his porcelain traits that unwound. Jooheon suddenly shifted in his position to lean his back against the wall right behind his two pillows, and he contemplated for a few seconds what he shall do next. How come his heart was throbbing in need to unbind his twisted thoughts he had kept to himself for so long? How come, most of all, it was for you to hear?

"I… Found my ideal. It was almost two years ago" he then started. "We dated. It was… Amazing. Well, it was for me. She didn't truly love me, I don't think so. Because guess what? She leaved me as soon as she found her own ideal. Saying that she felt burdened because I loved her too much, because I was too good to her. Can you even believe that? She wanted everything to be equal but damn, you don't count in love. Or that's what I thought. I thought that you don't count, that you just give, and that's all. Anyway, she left me, and ever since I've been… A fucking mess. I hope you don't go through that, stopping believing in love and whatever relates to it. It eats you to question everything. It eats my brain. She was supposed to be made for me, y'know? But she left. For her own ideal. So what am I worth now? And where's the love in all this shitty and calculated world, huh?"

He exhaled loudly while closing his eyes as letting this all out felt incredibly relieving – as well as the alcohol flooding in his veins –, until he realized you had been there all this time and hadn't said a single word. His eyelids opened slowly, and his jaded stare dared to drift to you. He felt a sea of goosebumps accost on his body as he were met with your curled-up figure, your traits seemingly peaceful and your gaze not even shaking under his.

Actually, you were shaken by what you had just found out, your insides twisted under the flow of emotions this had put you through. He had delivered you the deepest of his sorrows, and he had been beautiful when he had done so, his face having slid to an endearing expression you couldn't describe, and his voice having turned a bit hoarse and a tone higher.

"My turn" you simply announced, your clear voice cutting through the silence.

Jooheon sat up straightly and bit his lower lip, the anxiety of having told you everything that easily fighting with the anticipation of what story you had in reserve for him to get surprised by you once more.

"Actually, I also found my ideal by pure chance, last night. I was already having a hard time believing in love you know, and I had started to think that maybe I should look for him. I was thinking that if he's made for me, then the chances of him liking me were higher, and then I'd be able to fall in love with less fear that he'll eventually leave. Because I dated a few guys before, who were all compatible with me, but seems like I was never enough. Either I was a pastime before they went to look for their ideal, either they left me because they didn't share my feelings in the end. I gave away my heart sincerely, but I probably couldn't beat the rule, or I came to wonder if I am not the problem. Maybe I too am not worth it, you see? If they all leave at some point…"

You were the one to let a sorrowful smile pull at the corner of your trembling lips this time, your mind having fallen into the messy drawer of your deepest wonderings. You didn't notice Jooheon who was piercing holes through your head from the intense staring, your lack of love for yourself mirroring his own and getting to him.

"Still when I found him, I figured that I wasn't his, so I was disappointed at first. But in fact, it showed me that not everything is as calculated and perfect as we think. It depends on how you really clink with each other, in real life, because law or not, we're still humans with our own hearts to decide what we want, aren't we?

You took a deep breath before ending your speech that was getting closer and closer to its most important yet awkward part.

"And as I spent time with him tonight, I figured that yes, he's definitely perfect for me and has everything I'm looking for in someone, but that's the reason why I think I would've come to like him anyway. He's a really great guy, I'm glad that my standards were set to be so high. It's so nice to see how handsome and cool he is. It's so nice to have been able to at least talk to him. And I'm happy that I can say that to him face to face after hearing his heartbreaking story, so that he knows he's definitely worth it."

Time stopped, and so did Jooheon's heartbeat as your eyes met, before his fell down to your left hand you had opened just for him to see, and his dark pupils reflected the red light.

"Y/N I…" he was looking for something to say as you clenched your fist and withdrew your arm closer to you, your flesh burning with embarrassment after your monologue that somehow sounded like a confession. "You're wrong, about me, about the rule, you… Don't know what it's like. You're liking me only because of that thing, because it's what it makes us do. It makes us blind and fond of the other person. Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful-"

"Didn't you love her because of who she was? Sure I felt it, the power of that thing, but it does not affect me further than crazy sensations" you cut him.

"I don't know about that, that's what I was telling you. I'm questioning everything. We don't know anything. What if it just blinds people? She stopped loving me when she was supposed to be the one for me, and she wasn't under the spell, so she was seeing me with neutral eyes. So I don't think that I am like you described, or else why would she leave?" Jooheon doubted, his two eyes fully opened and throwing dozens of wonderings at you.

"If she stopped loving you, then it means she did love you at some point. You just have to accept that feelings come and go, that's the heart's law, not any other. I don't believe that the law influences your feelings that much. It is here to show you who's at the highest rate of compatibility with you, but it does not mean that this person is unquestionably what you'll want in the end. Or else why would there be the heart-line? Or why would there be one-way situations like us? You can find your own perfection as long as you truly appreciate the person" you shrugged his frustration away, extending your arm to pick some pop-corn from the bag in front of you.

"You don't even know me that well. What you think you're liking might be what the law wants you to see" he ignored your remarks because they definitely were marking points.

"Do you hear how absurd you're sounding?" you only questioned him back with one of your eyebrows raising up.

"And you you sound just like me seven months ago…" He then mumbled and turned his face away from you, his eyes peeking out the window.

Your arguments were relatable, as he had delivered exactly the same and had believed in them back when she had left him ; but those countless nights of wonderings and aching had trampled them down and had made him lose faith in their value.

"I can't give you what you're wishing for anyway."

"I don't remember asking for anything?" you scoffed at his stubbornness. "I was just saying that I liked… What's going on here. Just like you said you were having a great time with me, I do too."

You motioned the space between the both of you, earning a curious look from the corner of his eye.

"You clearly seem like you want someone in your life. And you just told me… You liked… Me. But I can't be that man. I won't do better than your previous relationships. I'm a fucking mess, I'll only hurt you, just like I hurt her. I'll do shit without even realizing it. I'm no good, for no one. Thank you for what you said, but as I told you, I know myself better than you do, and I'm not that much of a great guy you described."

"Sounds like you were actually picturing things yourself, using the future tense…" you pointed out with another shrug. "Look, I didn't ask you out, nor did I ask you to like me back. Just accept my compliments and shut it out. You gave me a headache with your bullshit, I'll go to sleep!"

You lied down, your back turned on him and your arms crossed. He had upset your tipsy-self, and you felt embarrassed for having told him everything that had popped out in your mind only for him to turn all of it down with his "I-know-better-than-you-do" ranting. A few seconds later, you felt the other side of the mattress dig under his weight, and you heard a rather loud expiration of air coming out of his nose.

Jooheon's heart was beating incredibly fast, and his whole body was caressed by hot waves. What you had just told him, all those nice things, all that attention, had managed to pull at the strings of his heart when he had closed it to everyone. Moreover, he was somehow thrilled to learn that he was your ideal, because it was nonsense that such a beautiful and interesting girl had him as her standard for a lover. Add to those weird feelings the fact that he felt scared to be actually appreciated by someone, and this cocktail of mixed emotions made him mutter :

"You arrived at the wrong moment."

Had he met you later, once he had been fully "recovered", back onto his feet, he might have been able to really believe you, to take your words into account, to follow you on that road to trust in feelings once again. But he was under a pile of emotional garbage being so heavy, that he was having a hard time sorting it out for him to ever get out. He could see your hand extending to him, but it felt like he could barely reach out to you. However, for the first time in seven months, his guts were constantly vibrating ever since you were together, making him crave to cross the line and see where it would take him, just for a moment.

You rolled on the other side and looked at his broad back detoured by the rays of the moon that were piercing through his opened window and marrying lovingly with the artificial blue light.

"When would have been the right moment?" you asked in a hushed voice, curiosity and anticipation bubbling into your stomach.

"Later. Right now…"

"Right now?"

"Right now… I know what's going on here, but I just can't."

Your heart skipped a beat, and you stopped breathing for a few seconds, so that you wouldn't cut him in his random rant.

"I'm not a good man, right now. Not for you." He pursued.

"That is for me to decide, but once again, I didn't ask you out, I just tried to tell you-"

Jooheon suddenly flipped the other way around, the meeting of his face excruciating you with a renewal of your desire to kiss him, a need you had forgotten about while you had been talking, but that you couldn't ignore anymore. Not after understanding that he, too, felt that something was going on between the both of you.

"I just tried to tell you that I think you're someone worth being loved, in response to what you had said, that's all" you managed to finish between two shaky breaths.

He had had to look back at you to reassure himself that he was making the good choice by shutting his eyes and ears. He had had to look you in the eyes and make you get that he couldn't help being this way, even if he too was getting killed on the inside by his silenced needs to get some affection from a girl after a painful time being on his own. He was craving for your affection, because it was the only thing he knew he was missing now that you had brought him comfort, laughs, joy, peace and a little bit of confidence as your words rang into his head.

However, as your eyes danced between each other's pupils and lips for a little bit too long, you both got consumed by your temptation, and kissed.

You didn't really know who initiated the kiss first, was it you whose hands had found their place in his hair, or him whose bust ended up towering yours. The kiss was soft and slow at first, one deep pressure of your lips against one another, with your noses brushing ; but after retiring for a short time and searching each other's faces for any sign to stop that was obviously nowhere to be found, you soon kissed again more fervently, loud exhales coming from your nostrils and your heads changing angles for a better access.

You didn't know either if that was because of the rule this time, but kissing him became the top one of the favorite things you had ever done in your life. His lips melted against yours, their softness enchanting you as well as how filled they were, not missing any single inch of your mouth. But what was the most enjoyable, was all the chills you got all over again, but they were different from all the previous ones you had went under. Your head was spinning but not in the dizzy-way, more in a euphoric one, as if you were being transported into a time lapse where only you and him existed.

Jooheon felt it too, the magic, as well as the burning of your bodies, especially of your left hand that was lodged against his scalp. Only a few hours ago, he would've never thought that he would be kissing another woman in the bed he had used to share with her. He would've never thought that this would be possible when the day before he had been as depressed as usual and with his gaze looking at everything else but women he somehow despised.

But right now, because it was you, he had stopped thinking for a little while and followed his guts, and it felt good.

At one point, his right hand came to look for your left one, and the contact left you shivering, your life-line scorching but in a pleasing manner. His mouth turned away from yours and he kissed the sensitive spot, his lips reddening before the light, and the sight was utterly beautiful. You contemplated him in awe as he leaned his cheek into your palm, his eyes closed and his brows furrowed, as he was finally thinking back of what you had done all of a sudden.

"Look at how fucked up I am… Telling you A and doing B…" he murmured before hiding his face into your welcoming hand in embarrassment, and you smiled unbeknownst to him.

"Look at how fucked up I am… Liking a man who doesn't want me, again" you half-joked and he snapped his head towards you with a hurt expression painting his face.

"Do you want to make me feel worse? I didn't say-"

"No, I want you to stop thinking about what we're doing, for now, just like I am."

As if your words were similar to a magic formula thrown at him, Jooheon assaulted your lips once more, his hand landing over your head on the pillow and stroking your hair gently. The other went to grab and squeeze your waist as he pushed the kiss deeper, never having enough of it, of you.

"I don't deserve someone like you" he whispered against your lips, taking you with him as he laid on his side.

"Looks like even the law says otherwise" you smiled, passing your hands under his hoodie and top to caress his back.

You heard him hiss between gritted teeth as if you were triggering something powerful inside of him, but to your surprise, he didn't move and only told you with his mouth against the top of your head :

"Let's sleep. I'm exhausted, and for once in a while, I feel like I can finally get a good night of sleep."

                   * * * 

        You woke up to an empty bed and blurry memories of the past night, your brain only flashing you some images of you and Jooheon kissing and cuddling all night long between two dreams, but you were having a hard time remembering what you had exactly said to each other. You just knew, overall, that he was scared of dating again, yet the look he gave you as you entered the kitchen where he had been stirring coffee somehow looked… Enamored.

His sharp eyes literally melted at your sight and so did his heart, a signal that kissing you had just worsened the attraction he had had for you from your first meeting at the bar, and he caught you by surprise when he suddenly approached.

"Did you sleep well?" he asked with a hoarse voice as he stopped a few inches away from you only.

"What about the insomniac?" you interrogated him back, and he smiled fondly.

"I wish I had, but someone couldn't stop kissing or hugging me" he joked, and you rolled your eyes at him.

"As if I was the only one" you tsk-ed, and your heart contracted as he lifted his hands to cease your face and stroke your cheeks.

His hair had softened, the neat hairstyle long gone and letting place to messy strands naturally pulled at the back by his own gesture probably, and with the sun penetrating the room, they were tinted with more intense nuances. His face was glowing, and his body was no longer dissimulated under his hoodie, only for you to see the tank top marrying his well-built silhouette. You were appalled by this unreal vision, because no one should ever look this good after waking up, so you didn't notice how his expression translated the inner conflict he actually was in.

Because from the second he had woken up next to you – or more exactly with you in his arms –, Jooheon had been debating internally about what he was actually supposed to do next. He had spent the best night of his life after a long moment of feeling gloomy at that period of the day, and for the first time since the breakup, his heart was instantly warming up as he was staring at another girl.

He did have a thing for you, and how addictive kissing you had been confirmed it and had worsened it, but even if you had sounded reassuring and pretty convincing, his everyday fears no longer diminished by alcohol had come back at him at full force like a boomerang. It was as if he had taken one step further, but only to stumble two steps back, and he hated how torn he felt.

It was your hand that slid along his waist that shook him out of his somber thoughts, and this single contact put him on fire as well as it made him panic – that eternal battle. Still, the flames of passion won for a few seconds as he suddenly felt the urge not to push you away, but to kiss you, and he did so, with an applied pressure of his mouth against yours, before it went further than a good-morning-kiss and heated up, your arms engulfing him into a tight hug and his fingers suddenly losing themselves into your hair.

What did you make him do…

"I have to go, my colleagues sent me a message telling me we're having a company lunch to close and celebrate my first event… They even have some feedbacks to say to me" you regretted as you pulled back, and the feeling doubled as you saw Jooheon biting his lip.

"Sure, I'll walk you back to the door" he answered calmly, his hands finally leaving your face and freeing it from an intense heat.

"So… See you around?" you wondered as you turned on your heels once in the corridor, and you saw Jooheon gazing at you while leaning against the door frame.

And once again, you could read in his eyes his inner thoughts, telling you once again he was having a hard time bidding you goodbye just like the past night. You anticipated his answer after all the skepticism he had revealed towards the idea of getting too close to a girl ever again, but deep down you hoped that the skinship you had shared might have at least give him some kind of hesitation in your favor.

"See you, definitely." he then worded carefully, his lips turning into a smile that set off a sensation of bliss within your body, making you crave to steal a last kiss from them.

His eyes bore into yours confidently one last time before you parted ways, having been satisfied by his plausible change of mind or, at least, the second chance he was giving you before crossing your name out of his life.

                * * *  

        One week. It took him only one week on his own to fall apart all over again, and to see no happy ending if he kept on meeting you.

He had believed in the last words he had told you with his eyes in yours, because back then, he had truly wished he would see you again soon, the sensation he got from being with you being pretty appealing and every time his eyes were meeting yours, you erased his doubts, only pushing his instinct buttons.

He had talked about you with his friends, who had been even more excited than him to see him finally let himself walk slowly but surely into the arms of a caring and sincere girl.

He had been the first one to message you later in the afternoon that day, and had enjoyed talking to you for days after ; but nothing could beat his anxiety once he was alone at night.

The fight had been feverish, as being pulled between "yes" and "no" was taking the best of him. This lingering hesitation whenever he had answered one of your messages, even when he liked doing so, had then been mostly telling him that he was still lacking confidence in him and in his capacities to start a new relationship serenely. And he couldn't do that to you, he couldn't deceive you and risk to hurt you sooner than what you could imagine.

So before he would have to do that once you would have gotten closer and closer, before things got out of hand, Jooheon decided to retreat without giving the both you a real chance.

You had been talking everyday after the night you had spent together, and it had given you the butterflies every time his name had popped up on your phone's screen. Your conversations were always really interesting, without any flirt being involved, just two people getting along really well to the point they could talk for hours non-stop.

This situation had turned into a constant ray of sun in your gloomy life, and you couldn't wait for your next encounter, without wanting to rush things. You were just wishing to go with the flow and let your feelings and guts take you where they would like you to, because up 'til now, it had worked out pretty well with him. You were so relaxed and confident about the natural unwinding of your relationship, that you had managed not to get too upset when you didn't receive some news from him for three days, telling yourself that he must have been busy or that he had his reasons.

Until you decided to reach out to him again randomly, just because you had been thinking of him.

You [11:19 p.m.] : Eating dumplings while working on my new project, not to make you jealous but look at how appetizing they are – [Picture]

Jooheon [04:04 a.m.] : Hi, I'm sorry that I didn't give you any news during the last few days. I'm pretty aware that this mustn't have been really nice as we've been talking a lot, but I needed some time to think. Right now, I don't think I'm capable of getting engaged in whatever relationship that would get further than what we actually have. I'm not ready to date someone, and I don't want to give you false hopes. I feel this urgent need to run away now that I'm getting closer to you. I'm getting scared, and I can't help questioning my doings. It is still quite hard for me to perfectly explain why, I'm trying to find how to resolve this problem, but this is a pretty difficult task to do. You know the biggest part of it, but I'm truly sorry Y/N, I'm not fixed at all so this won't work. I don't wish for you to understand my sudden change when I've been showing you a confident side of me, but I just didn't want to leave you in the dark. Sorry, again, I know who I am for you but I can't. Take care.

             To be continued....

            A/N :  This is pretty long, I hope you had a great time reading! Part 2 will be more intense, I’m starting to write it!

[fromthedeskofelizabeththird]

Jealousy

The Arcana | Asra x Apprentice | Gen

Second prize in my milestone giveaway, for @zeodyme.~

~~~

As a young girl, MC was enamored with magic. She spent many an afternoon in her aunt’s magic shop, turning the pages of spell books and admiring trinkets. She eagerly pried open every crate and jar, sounding out the syllables on the label and committing each scent to memory.

That glee never quite left her even as an adult. It was certainly true that she had not appreciated exactly how much work went into running a shop until it became her inheritance, but if anything the extra work added an extra layer of anticipation.

She loved browsing the wares of her numerous suppliers; loved getting to know her customers and picking out trinkets she knew they would buy. She loved filling her shelves with brand new, mysterious items and testing the more obscure ones herself.

It came as a surprise, therefore, that Asra did not care for it quite as much as she did.

It was true that he pored over every item on her shelf and could not hide the thrill when they caught his interest. He would peer over her shoulder when she experimented with new ingredients. He did not, however, hold any sort of interest in her suppliers nor a decent number of customers to her store. As a matter of fact, he seemed to avoid them altogether. He barely even responded on the occasions she brought them up in conversation, immediately offering to make a pot of tea in an attempt to change the subject.

MC didn’t quite understand his reluctance, but accepted that he was a shy sort of person and likely overwhelmed by some personalities more so than others.

He was suspicious of Ignacio and his stockpile of furs, convinced that the man meant to swindle her in some way whenever he kissed her hand.

He raised an eyebrow when she described the more enthusiastic of her customers, from those who left her generous tips to those who flat out said how much they admired her.

She laughed off his concerns every time he insisted that merchants meant to rob her blind and her customers paid her compliments in the hopes of a discount.

It was ridiculous. She knew their lives, their families. They were her customers and colleagues and the idea that they were not in the least bit passionate about magic was absurd. She had always been in love with it, after all, and their frequent returns and smiling faces only served as a reminder.

As a matter of fact, Asra approved of only one of her suppliers-a herbalist named Syd, who supplied teas, weeds and more for a wide range of purposes. Exactly what it was that set Syd apart from the others was anyone’s guess.

In any case, his eyes lit up at every mention of them and he laughed out loud at each one of MC's anecdotes, nodding at every detail and observing that such silly jokes and actions were just like them.

He was almost as excited as MC to hear that Syd was set to join them at one of Nadia’s parties. Syd spent most of their days at sea, travelling from port to port and peddling their wares without the luxury of magic. As something of an unfortunate coincidence, every time Syd only ever seemed to arrive in Vesuvia on days Asra was elsewhere.

In truth, MC concluded that she was not sure which part of Nadia's gathering she looked forward to the most: meeting up with old friends... tucking into fancy desserts... dressing in her finest clothes... seeing Asra in his finest clothes... Each possibility was as enticing as the next. She certainly couldn't wait for Asra and Syd to finally share a conversation after so many years.

In her invitation, Nadia quite specifically referenced that it was to be a private affair. Asra smirked the first time he read it, wondering aloud exactly how many close acquaintances the Countess had. If previous parties were anything to go by, she had enough friends to fill a small continent.

MC couldn't shake the butterflies in her stomach as they set off for the night, which only grew worse when they actually arrived at the dance hall. Nadia had decorated the ceiling with an illusion of the night sky, leaving her guests to watch in disbelief every time a shooting star rocketed from one side of the ceiling to the next, leaving a flurry of glimmering stardust in its wake.

Nadia's greeting lacked none of its usual charm. She reached out to squeeze MC's hands in hers and insisted on introducing her to the more significant of her guests, many of whom MC and Asra had already met in one capacity or another.

Before long, Nadia had others to attend to and Asra stroked his fingers across the inside of her arm.

"I think there's a punch bowl over there. Here, I'll see if I can find us something to drink."

MC agreed to stay, folding her arms and waiting by the central pillar. She expected him to be gone only a matter of seconds, but time passed without sight nor sound of him. Now, more than ever, did she appreciate exactly how many people had come to the party, wearing heady perfumes and brightly coloured silks. It was overwhelming and she planted a hand on the pillar behind her to steady herself, increasingly dizzy with each passing second.

Where was Asra?

It only made matters worse that she could not see him anywhere. He didn't exactly blend into the background...and the hall was so uncommonly big...

Someone reached for her shoulder and she breathed a sigh of relief, expecting it to be Asra. When she turned to face them, however, it was someone else entirely.

"Syd!" She cried out, reaching to embrace them without an ounce of hesitation. Syd was only too happy to return the gesture, pulling them in close in the boisterous fashion MC had come to associate with them.

"I didn't think you'd come," she said, stepping back to admire their costume for the evening. As a consequence of spending so much time at sea, she had only ever seen them in practical clothes and comfortable shoes. At some point, MC had come to believe that they only owned threadbare shirts and soft leather boots.

Tonight, though, she scarcely recognised them. They were dressed head to toe in turquoise silk, with sparkling rings on every finger and peacock feathers in their hair.

"You look..." She said, searching her mind for something appropriate. Telling them she associated them with worn shoes seemed a terrible idea.

Syd roared with laughter, though, as if they knew precisely what she was too embarrassed to say.

"It's alright," they said. "I don't quite recognise myself either. You on the other hand...are a vision."

MC couldn't stop herself from blushing, all nervousness forgotten. Syd was uncommonly easy to talk to and before long MC lost all track of time, far too interested in their stories of giant squids and roaring tides. She did not even notice Asra return until he nudged a glass into her hands.

"Well if it isn't Asra!" Syd exclaimed, instantly giving him an enthusiastic punch to the forearm. "It's been so long! How have you been?"

Asra glanced from MC to Syd and then back again, no ounce of recognition in his gaze.

"I am Asra," he said, "but I'm not sure we've ever met."

To say MC was bewildered was an understatement. She had not expected Asra to come bounding over with his arms outstretched, but he spoke to Syd not only as if he didn't know them, but as if he was ill at ease.

"Never met? Asra, this is Syd!"

Perhaps he was as unused to seeing them in formal wear as she was.

"I don't suppose you would recognise me after all these years," they sighed. "Last time we met I was much shorter."

MC blinked, glancing from Syd to Asra. From the sounds of things, Syd had known Asra as a child, but that contradicted every story she had ever heard about them. All of Asra's stories about them ended in alcohol, wenches and birds of paradise. It was difficult to imagine a child in any of them.

Asra scratched his chin, seemingly thinking the same thing, recognition dawning long after the silence had become uncomfortable.

"Syd!?" Asra cried out, taking a step back and examining the person in front of them. "

Syd-deeqa?"

Syd laughed at his disbelief, seemingly delighted at such undeniable evidence of their own transformation from child to adult.

"I look quite different, don't I?"

"Different? Syd, I-I'm so sorry, I had no idea-"

Syd was almost too dismissive of his apology. If anything they found it highly amusing.

"MC," said Asra, as an afterthought, "this is Syd...they're the grandchild of the Syd I used to know. I thought that the other Syd was the one coming to visit, but I guess the family business has changed hands over the past few years."

"Travelling the world is so much more exhausting when you have creaking hips and cataracts," shrugged Syd. "If no one took on his contracts, he'd surely have worked himself to death."

Asra lifted his drink to his lips, meaning to take a swig, only to rethink it.

"I'm so sorry," he said, "wait here, I'll go and get you a drink as well. We have so much to talk about."

Asra waved his drink before disappearing into the crowd, leaving MC and Syd to watch him leave.

"I hope he doesn't feel too guilty," said Syd. "Almost all of my clients have made the same mistake."

"I'm sure he's just surprised," said MC. "It seems like he's very fond of your grandfather."

"I have to admit, I didn't have him down as the jealous type."

MC turned to them, taking in their wry smile.

"Jealous?"

Envy was the last quality she would ever associate with Asra.

"You didn't see? When he told me his name I could have sworn we were in the tundra."

"I..."

MC thought about it-his shift in tone and complete lack of recognition. The same expression he wore when hearing about many of her other suppliers and even some of her customers.

"Oh," she said, realisation sinking in. Suddenly it all made sense.

Asra was not nearly as concerned about her being cheated out of her coppers as he let on. No, the thing he was more worried about losing was far more personal and left her blushing.

"I'm going to be honest with you," she said. "Neither did I."

[niskrp]

:// SEARCHING OPERATIVE …

… searching for AGENT 006 / KING OF SPADES. classified files indicate that they go by KO YURA. born in SEOUL, SK, in 1986/30/01, further investigation makes it clear that they joined the agency FIVE YEARS ago. they are a CLANDESTINE AGENT who specialize in MARKSMANSHIP. higher clearance is needed to access further information…

… ENTER PASSWORD TO ACCESS THE COMPLETE FILE.

:// ACCESSING BACKGROUND FILES …

rumour has it they were happy back in the day.

her father owned a successful business which meant a large home, an array of expensive gifts, not to mention a pristine reputation. they were apparently a family envied by many for being seemingly perfect; hardworking husband, pretty wife, prettier daughter.

but then they crash and burn in spectacular fashion, a glittering empire crumbling in a matter of weeks; a fall said to be inevitable for a multitude of reasons.

from here the details become murky, truth lost among the gossip and rumours. people preferring to offer their own side of the story rather than seeking out the exact details on what went on behind the scenes.

bankruptcy. rival business. gambling addiction. shady connections. plain greed.

their standard of living takes a dive—and so does she, dragged face first into a world absolutely nobody wants to be a part of.

/

sometimes home is a cramped one bedroom apartment on the outskirts of seoul. sometimes home is the living room floor of an acquaintance. sometimes home is the backseat of the family’s car. never pleasant, never comfortable. never hers. somehow they manage: father, mother, and her. a miserable trio scampering from one dilapidated house to another, desperately clinging onto any hope that they’ll make it through another day. which they do, barely. she doesn’t question it. grows accustomed to finding bills hidden beneath old newspapers and waking to the landlord’s demand for rent at 1 am. believes it’s normal to live on three day old rice and whatever else her mother can prepare from a near empty fridge. doesn’t blink an eye when her father announces they have to move somewhere else for the second time that month.

too young to understand the reasons why they’re subjected to this hellish experience. not young enough to realise that she deserves better, they deserve better.

/

poor girl. dirty girl. sad girl. it’s the norm to address yura by anything but her name. not that she minds—or more specifically, not that she has any say in the matter when classmates are adamant on frowning upon her very existence anyway. poking fun at her lowly status and tarnished reputation, like it’s her own damn fault that the world has it out for her at every turn. so she feigns ignorance, redirects her attention to her studies and other activities where her questionable family history isn’t the main topic of conversation. no easy feat when everyone is insistent they know more than she does. bad girl. violent girl. bully girl. she can’t be blamed for snapping when a “joke” crosses the line and hits a nerve. word spreads fast of an incident involving her fist and the jaw of a popular upperclassman, and previous judgemental looks quickly turn into that of disgust, of borderline fear.

as much as yura despises the way her name is dragged through the mud, she begrudgingly admits it isn’t too bad. it’s better, maybe, to be feared than pitied by complete strangers. those who don’t even care.

/

they say she shares a lot of similarities with her father. don’t you see it, they ask. by the way you both smile and laugh, they point out. no way anyone can ignore the fact you’re his daughter, they tell her. but she struggles to see it. only associates him with helplessness and failure, both traits she’s certain they don’t share. perhaps they’d been similar once, at a time when they weren’t burdened by the need to make ends meet. laughter would’ve come freely then, and she might’ve been able to revel in the very details that brought them together as a father and daughter pair. for now they couldn’t be anymore different. him, regularly found in a drunken stupor, mourning his fall from grace with the assistance of cheap soju. her, reading outside a nearby restaurant when the electricity is suddenly cut off at home, trying to avoid following in his footsteps.

her mother tires of their situation and never hesitates to threaten walking out. makes a scene of packing her bags and announcing her imminent departure before quietly returning hours, days later.

normally she refrains from asking why. pretends nothing has changed and goes about her usual routine, except she’s ever curious today. thinks the whole packing and unpacking business is more trouble than it’s worth.

“it’s because i love him.” “that’s sad.” the words roll off her tongue, and a single glance over to her mother is enough for yura to regret opening her mouth in the first place. the answer she receives is only confirmation of that. “yeah.” a long pause. “it really is.”

/

graduation will be it. better life, better pay. money to buy an actual home that’s free of mould, creaky floors, and disgruntled landlords. maybe there’ll be enough to relocate to a high end suburb she’s read so much about and forge a brand-new identity, a sought after fresh beginning. study hard, this will be hers. knows it can be, sees it to be true by the amount of stories she’s heard of people like her. bottom of the rung folks who’ve worked their way up and now lead a life starkly different to what they started with. an escape can be granted if she tries. uses her brain for more than breaking the landlord’s locks (out of necessity, obviously) and wandering the streets with a ragtag group of friends in tow.

alas, normalcy doesn’t bode well for her.

she dreads the daily grind of day-to-day life. climbing up the corporate ladder isn’t as appealing as others make it out to be, nor is abiding by what society insists is in order for a young woman like her: marriage, motherhood, filial piety until death. even now, with nothing to her name, the prospect of settling for stability is amazingly out of the question. if it means sacrificing her own enjoyment for the sake of fitting in and catering to what’s expected of her, she’s happy to go without it. teachers tut over her eventual choice, as if she’s making a massive mistake over signing her name to join the police. maybe she is, maybe she isn’t. either way, she doesn’t think it’s anyone’s business but her own over what she chooses to do with the rest of her life. then again, why should it?

/

safe to say, training brings her to her knees. meaning: she really, really likes it here. potential bad habits are all but crushed beneath the heel of superiors eager to see what she’s worth, what she can do; this gangly thing with a smart mouth and chip on her shoulder. if anything, the reason she provides for joining the force (“the uniforms, i’m a fan”) simply gives them the incentive to run her ragged. which they certainly do, in an almost sadistic fashion, except to their surprise, she manages to flourish—and then some. strict discipline is all she needs and it does well to shape her into a deadly weapon. talents are already there: dogged determination and reckless sort of fearlessness. they just need to polish each and every one of it up until she emerges gleaming, shining; much like the framed college degree on her wall.

an uncanny knack to remain cool under pressure becomes the draw card for many. throw her into the most difficult of situations and she’ll pull through. slightly battered, a little bruised. but most importantly: alive. it’s commonly assumed that she simply thrives in chaotic environments such as these. the type who isn’t distracted by irrelevant details and can be solely focused on the task at hand. capable of adhering to instructions while simultaneously preparing a plan b for when things don’t quite click.

kinda stubborn, kinda risky. all round lethal.

she supposes she only has her tumultuous home life to thank for getting this far.

/

he’s impressed.

“i think you should apply though.”

“is this your way of getting rid of me, sunbaenim? i’m hurt.”

it used to be perceived as an ominous sign whenever the superintendent bursts out laughing, though she’s long come to see it as a reassurance of sorts. that, she hasn’t completely fucked up in his presence and her body won’t be thrown into the han river at dusk for ruining his usual foul mood.

a very, very good sign indeed.

”you know what i mean. you’d do well elsewhere, with them.”

“guess i’ll think about it.”

“is that a yes?”

“it’s honestly a ‘i have to compare salaries first and get back to you’ kinda yes.”

“yura.”

she grins, decides to cut back on the jokes before he dumps her in the river for real. “i’m kidding, i’ll do it. want to see if their coffee is as good as ours, too.”

god knows what the coffee tastes like at nis. they could be drinking the elixir of life and she’d still be reluctant to relocate, uncertain of what they could possibly offer her when she has everything she needs over here. a steady career, wide social circle, glowing reputation.

can’t say the hesitation is enough to deter her from completing an application out of plain curiosity, though.

/

after much deliberation, the application is sent through without dwelling on what might occur if she’s accepted. doesn’t hold much of a hope she’ll make the cut when there are bound to be others who would be better suited for the role. candidates who are more experienced and fulfil the criteria nis have set out, whereas she may fall short somewhere along the lines.

she prepares for rejection. reality, however, has another thing coming.

training puts her through her paces once again, but she digs deep and holds on in the exact same way she’s been taught to do, learned to do over the years. rides with the punches until she adheres to their lofty expectations, leaving nothing to be desired—besides keeping her smartass comments to herself.

experience is taken into consideration when they ultimately usher her to the role of marksman, and it’d be a lie to say she isn’t somewhat perplexed by their decision. it’s not what she initially had in mind, especially with the position she’s just left behind, but she bites her tongue and accepts the offer anyway.

we need someone like you here though, they explain. someone focused, someone calm, someone with a damn good aim.

can you do this for us?

she can, and she does.

:// ACCESSING PSYCHOLOGICAL EVALUATION …

they deem her bright, diligent, ruthless; a woman in possession of a sharp mind but sharper tongue. such ferocity is hidden beneath a calm and collected demeanour, only resorting to violence in situations where negotiation is no longer on the cards. rumour has it her anger is especially volatile, bloody even, though no one’s been fortunate enough to bear witness to such a scene to be able to confirm.

despite her line of work, yura manages to maintain a happy go lucky approach in regards to delegated tasks and interactions with colleagues. first to crack a joke, first to suggest heading out for a round of drinks, first to distance herself from serious and stressful situations. it’d be far from beneficial to be constantly preoccupied with either past or present missions, and she never fails to emphasise the importance of being able to ‘switch off’ once the job is complete.

many frequently mistaken her laid back nature to be that of pure laziness instead, what with her tendencies to move around at a leisurely pace and taking things in her stride. could be seen as not caring enough, or half heartedly doing whatever necessary before quickly shifting her focus elsewhere—which couldn’t be further from the truth. she’s always watching, always listening, and always willing to defend when the time calls for it.

rest assured that the success of the agency is a main priority, and yura has every intention of ensuring the safety of those involved won’t be jeopardised.

… END OF FILE. CONTACT THE AGENT DIRECTLY FOR MORE.

[inthispagewestanikon]

First Encaunter <3 - a Donghyuk scenario:

word count:1.8k

Ps: Sond - Suran - 1+1=0

Ps²: If there’s any grammar mistake, I apologize!

Just two years ago I was this eighteen years old girl who was a month away from finishing high school and did not know what to do with her life. I wanted to do everything but at the same time did nothing, until my dad came home with a camera and changed my life forever.

I decided to set the camera up and talk about the make up tricks I used, obviously it was for fun so it was poorly edited. Youtube was starting to get really popular in Korea and me being the chatterbox I am thought it would be nice to just talk about random stuff and in my head only my family and friends would care enough to take a look, but boy was I wrong.

The videos suddently began to gain views and people started subscribing and asking for more and so I did. Looking back at it I am just really proud of putting myself out there because I think that now I would probably be majoring in Law school which was something I did not feel like suited me in any way, but both my parents are lawyers so finding a job wouldn’t be hard.

Now it has been one year since I got accepted into Korea University for visual arts and I love it, it helps me with my videos and gives me enough knowledge to act in several entertainment areas if I want to.

With the success of my channel a lot of brands would send me theirs products and invite me to events and meetings; and at this very moment I have an important meeting with this popular make up brand and I’m already running late.

I left my building in a hurry and decided to stop to get coffee to try and at least make up for my mistake, because unless a miracle happened there was no way I’d get there in time. I entered the caffé close by and felt relieved as no one was in line.

“Iced americanos three, Latte two and Iced tead one” I said a bit out of breath.

As I waited for my order a guy came in wearing a pink hoodie and for some reason his face seemed familiar, but right now I don’t have the time to try and guess from where I know him.

The girl was really taking her time making those drinks and my foot was uncontrolably stamping the floor.

“Here you go, that will be 26.700 KRW” she said nicely.

I gave her thirty and turned in order to leave, but as soon as I did it the guy turned to pay causing us to bump into each other, luckily only our phones fell and we both went down to get it quickly.

“I’m really sorry” I bowed repeatedly as I made my way out.

I caught a cab and just went to the building where the meeting was taking place. The ride took 10 minutes or so and the driver made sure to rip me off, that’s why I don’t take cabs anymore, I paid him and entered the building.

Finally I arrived at the 10th floor and they were all waiting for me.

“I’m really sorry to keep you all waiting, I forgot the meeting was this early” I bowed and honestly felt so embaressed, it made me look unprofessional and I hated it because I always give my best at every single thing I put myself into.

They were very understanding and the coffee may have helped me a bit. As soon as I sat down my phone started ringing and I quickly turned it off to avoid causing more inconvenience to those who were there trying to do their jobs.

...

The meeting lasted for two hours and after the bumpy start things flowed smoothly. I left the room and turned on my phone, I tried to unlock it but it said my digital wasn’t working so I typed in my password which was also wrong, then, I realize that the background was not the one I use.

“Ah please, don’t tell me this is that guy’s phone” I wimped.

I ran to the front desk and asked the receptionist to use their phone, which she kindly did.

“H-hello” I said quite nervous.

“Yes, wah thank god” The manly voice said. It was weird dialing my own number let alone have someone else pick up.

“Perhaps, are you the guy from the caffé?” I asked politely

“That’s right! Our phones got mixed up when we bumped into each other” He explained even though I already suspected it.

“Ah you’re right” I said.

“I called so many times but you didn’t answer I was bit desperate sorry” He laughed a bit and I believe it was out of relief.

“Sorry about that, I was in a meeting and after seeing the random number I turned it off thinking it was a mistake” I explained.

“So could you please tell me where you are? I can go to you right away to exchange it” he said and I was impressed at how kind he was, if it was somebody else they would be so angry at me, but after all, I didn’t mean to do so.

“S-sure, I’m near yeouido in an office building but I can go to a caffè nearby” I explained.

“Okay, I will call from the random number I did earlier when I get over there, so don’t be afraid to pick up” He kindly said.

I thanked the lady for letting me use the phone and took the elevator. That area was filled with caffès and I definitely should’ve been more specific.

As I passed the stores I thought that maybe I should get him something as an apology.

“Wah you’re going to get poor this way” I said to myself.

I decided I would wait for him at the ‘Audrey Hepbrun caffe’, on my way there I saw this phone accessory store and I had the brilliant idea of getting him a phone case so he would not mix up his phone.

“welcome!” this girl said as I came in the store.

I was looking at the cases when this pink one caught my eyes, it was the same color as his hoodie from earlier, of course it was silly, but it was just a simbolic gift anyway. I picked it out and quickly paid since I had to get to the caffé soon.

I sat near the window and ordered a coffee, I mean I was already there and this day is just a complete mess, only coffee could boast me up for the rest of my schedule. I was calmly sipping my coffee when my phone rang, well, his phone rang.

“Yes?” I picked up.

“Hello, I am at Yeouido, which caffe are you at?” He asked politely.

“The Audrey Hepburn caffe” I explained.

“Ah okay, I will be right there” The way he said make me feel like I was waiting for my blind date and I felt silly for actually thinking that.

The door opened and I noticed the pink hoodie instantly. I raised my hand in order to make him notice me. I noticed he brought a guy with him and found it weird, maybe he thinks I am creep, that made me feel like an idiot for getting a gift, but I am most likely just overthinking it.

“Ah hello, I’m Kim Donghyuk” He bowed after introducing himself.

“Ah, Choi Hye Jin” I stood up and bowed.

He and the guy along with him sat in the chairs in front of me and I handed over his phone and he handed me mine.

“Wah, I was really scared when I couldn’t access it, I thought I would’ve to buy a new one” He said smiling.

“Yes, I didn’t notice because we both have black cases” I said and looked over to the little white bag by my side, maybe I should just keep it.

“Should I buy you another coffee? After all, it was my mistake as well” He suggested after noticing my empty cup

“Ah no, don’t worry” I denied and looked at the bag again.

“I insist” He said and got up to order.

A few minutes later he came back and I gattered the courage to ‘return the favor’.

“Here it is, hot americano, not many people order hot coffee” he laughed.

“Yes...Well, since you bought me coffee I also have something for you” I said while timidly picking up the white bag.

“Oh you shouldn’t have, it wasn’t your fault, seriously” He tried to deny it.

“I insist” I repeated what he said before “Got you” I smilled.

I handed him over the bag and he reached in to get the case.

“Wah, thank you so much, it even matches my hoddiet” He said and bowed in gratitude.

“Ah yes” I didn’t want to say that’s why I got it, but he would probably notice afterwards.

After giving him the gift we all got ready to say goodbye and leave.

“Well, I’ll get going now. Sorry for the trouble” I bowed as we left the caffe.

“Ah no, it’s okay, really” He did the same.

We both waved goodbye and parted ways. I decided to go home because I had a video to edit and some homework to turn in. As I made my way home I had to cross this busy street, the pedestrian signal was red and I looked up to see the music video for that popular song lately, I guess the group is iKon, I saw them on tv last week.

Once I lifted my eyes I felt all the heat in my body go straight to my face because the guy in the music video was the guy I just met like ten minutes ago AND gave him a pink phone case as if I was a casual friend.

...

The rest of the way was horrible, I kept thinking how dumb I was because I knew who he was, I even recognized him when I first saw him, he also said his name.

I opened my apartment door still in awe at my stupidity, it felt like I had left my soul standing in that sidewalk. He was so kind and nice towards me.

“Wah, you’re really something, seriously” I said as I looked at myself in the mirror.

I changed into my comfortable clothes in order to study and do some editing but I ended up searching his name. It really was him, I feel like I will be part of those funny stories idols tell in variety shows.

After hours of loud music and trying really hard to concentrate I finally finished all my work and could just say goodbye to this cruel reality, yes, I was being dramatic but who cares, I pay my bills so I can overeact this little things.

A/N: So, first of all, I hope you enjoy this “scenario” and yes, there will be a continuation since it’s kind of a series/fic idk what to call it yet…

ALSO, very important, I try to be realistic when writing something, so, given that the characters are korean I wanted to showcase some sort of realness with the “wah” and other ‘slangs’ if you may. I am in no way trying to copy them, just give a more “real life” feel to it!!!

[radioactive-tiefling]

hwat if i asked you to do all 50 for Xenoc would that be too many for you friend

Never too many questions my good bitch!! Thank u wes ilyUnder a cut because 1. It’s really long 2. A lot of possible triggers (violence, suicide mention, abuse, etc.) and 3. BIG SPOILERS for anyone playing in this campaign. Y’all know who you are.1. What is one word to shut them up?

Their name (or almost anything) said in a certain tone of voice. Anything similar to how their father and higher-ups in the organization issued orders.

2. What is the thing they feel the most guilty about?

They tend to breeze by guilt even when they should feel bad about something, but the one thing they’ve never gotten over is leaving their only friend in the compound alone when she was in pain, afraid, and in the midst of drug withdrawal. They didn’t know what to do so they left her alone, and found out the next day she’d overdosed. It’s the only thing they feel guilt about, and they now try to never let someone who’s upset be alone because they’re afraid they’ll never see them again.

3. What is the worst pain they’ve ever experienced?

Physically and mentally, the withdrawal they experienced after leaving the compound. It was a different type of pain than the beatings or brands they’d received before, and the novelty made it all the worse, especially since they were only 13 at the time.

4. Describe their worst nightmare.

(I want to take this one literally cause it’s fun.) Their nightmares are usually very abstract and blurred, and they never remember them when they wake up, although they often wake up from nightmares in a panic attack or disassociating. This probably comes from how young they were (and still are) when their traumas occurred, and the fact that they’re repressing most of the memories. They literally fought a nightmare monster with the party that forced them to see their parents and their father about to beat them, and now that scene is the one thing they remember from any nightmares they’ve had since. They hate the monster that did it more and more every time it happens.

5. List 3 fears; one “surface level” fear, one “repressed” fear, and one “deep dark” fear.

Surface level: a lot of animals— specifically dogs, rats, etc. lab animals, and the types of animals the children practiced fighting with.Repressed: they don’t think about it much, but if they are confronted with drugs again, especially with any of their party members, they probably will react very badly.Deep dark: catch them off guard with a command or authoritative tone, and they’ll completely freeze up. Despite the fact that some of them are dead, they still are deeply terrified of the power their parents and the whole organization had over them.

6. What is something that never fails to make them feel sick?

The smell, or even the sight, of Jet, Psycho, or any other addictive drug/poison they’ve worked with.

7. What feature (physical or otherwise) do they hate most about themselves?

They really don’t hate much of anything, mostly because they’re a child and don’t like to think about anything internally. If anything, it would be the scars and brands that mark their entire right side, but they’ve covered them in tattoos to avoid having to think about them.

8. Do they have anything that triggers them?

Yeah, but not really in the traditional sense. Typically they react to the trigger with violence and anger, then pretend it didn’t happen, and then disassociate as soon as things calm down. Things that will do it are typically references to drugs (or worse, being around them,) and being ordered to do things (especially in a certain tone of voice.) anything that reminds them of their father’s abuse or of the compound.

9. What is their greatest physical weakness?

They’re really not very strong, but they hold up fine in battle especially since they keep their distance.

10. What is their greatest mental weakness?

Probably their refusal to do any sort of self reflection. They bottle up all their trauma without even really realizing they’re doing it.

11. Do they have any vices?

They used to have drug addictions, from accidental inhalation and exposure to them for years. They do drink alcohol, but avoid drugs at all costs even if they don’t want to think about why.

12. Have they ever done something illegal? What was it?

SO many times. Most of their life was spent literally working in an illegal organization, and they don’t really try to keep their work strictly legal even now.

13. Which of the 7 Deadly Sins best describes them?

It’s hard to decide. They’re a genuinely good person, but they don’t know how to actually be good so a lot of sins describe them. Probably greed or wrath. Maybe pride.

14. Are they prone to outbursts (of violence, extreme emotion… exc… )?

Absolutely. Especially if anything reminds them of the past, or anything they don’t want to think about. They typically react with extreme violence. Their emotional outbursts also tend to be more angry than anything else, since they don’t like feeling scared or sad.

15. Who do they hate the most?

They hate the heads of their old organization. They still harbor a lot of hatred and fear towards their parents, though they will insist that their deaths ended that.

16. Is there anyone who makes them feel inferior?

Sometimes people do, so they took to not really talking about their age since people didn’t treat them like an adult if they knew they’re 15. They pretty much don’t let people make them feel inferior anymore.

17. What sound always gives them a headache?

They hate animal noises, like continuous barking or squeaking. They like the loud noise their gun makes when they fire, and the sound of explosions delights them, but sometimes their ears ring and their head hurts afterwards if they were too close.

18. Is there a certain flavor that disgusts them?

They hate bitter things because they’re a kid and their taste reflex to avoid possible poison is even more overactive than a normal kid’s. They prefer to eat the same food, like their own rations, over and over than try new things.

19. Do they consider themselves ugly?

Not really. They kind of wish they didn’t have to have tattoos, but they’d rather have pretty art than the markings underneath.

20. Do they consider themselves unloveable?

I don’t think they consider it much. They’ve never really loved or been loved, even in a family or friend sense, so it’s a new thing to them. They like having friends.

21. What is something that causes them great anxiety?

They get very anxious about doing the right thing, especially now that they’re with a group. They’re scared they will do something they think is right, and the group will judge them for it or think they’re cruel or mean.

22. Do they have any mental illnesses?

Probably some form of complex PTSD due to childhood abuse and trauma.

23. Have they ever been assaulted/abused/raped?

They were abused throughout their childhood by their parents, and by extension the organization.

24. Do they fear the possibility of being assaulted/abused/raped?

Not really. They can and will defend themself with deadly force.

25. Have they ever been betrayed by someone they thought they could trust?

No, they didn’t have that sort of “trust” for most of their life. The closest thing would be realizing that the organization was bad, but that wasn’t really a betrayal of trust since it had always been bad, they just thought it was normal.

26. Have they ever been seriously injured?

Never too seriously, not all at once. At the compound they were injured only enough to hurt, not enough to stop them from working, and they’ve never been too badly hurt in battle.

27. How many times have they been in the hospital?

I don’t think there’s hospitals in this world? Even if there were the answer would be none because there’s no way they’d have ever had the chance to go to one.

28. Is there a certain type of person that disgusts them?

Authority. Also drug dealers.

29. Does what they cannot see scare them?

They would absolutely deny that it does, because it isn’t real and therefore doesn’t affect them. Sometimes they’re right and they can push through, sometimes they’re lying.

30. Have they ever been bullied?

Not really. Most of their peers were just as brainwashed as they were, and infighting was punished so no one really formed cliques or bully groups.

31. Do they have self-confidence or self-image issues?

No way. They think they’re the best, and self image doesn’t really figure into it.

32. Do they have a bad relationship with their parents?

Yes. Their parents were both physically and mentally abusive. Xenoc killed them, and probably several other people, by blowing up their house.

33. Have they ever been in a relationship that didn’t work out so well?

They’ve never been in a romantic relationship. Other relationships they mostly burned to the ground, until they met the party. Those relationships are still forming, slowly, but they’re pretty good so far.

34. Have they ever self harmed?

I don’t think it would cross their mind to do it intentionally. They sometimes do things recklessly that get them hurt, like burning their fingers on their gun, but it’s never really for the purpose of hurting themself.

35. If they could change one thing about themselves, what would it be?

Abstract? They’d want to change into being a “good person” as others see them. A more solid change would be to get rid of the symbols and markings the organization gave them.

36. Are they in control of their emotions, or are their emotions in control of them?

Their emotions are definitely more in control, but they have a smaller range of emotions since they’re young and very inexperienced with the world.

37. Have they ever had their freedom taken away?

They spent 13 years of their life with little to no freedom, and 11 of those not even realizing freedom was a possibility.

38. Have they ever been imprisoned?

Not in the traditional sense, but they were confined to the compound the whole time they were there, spending most of their time in underground laboratories.

39. Have they ever been accused of something they didn’t do?

Nah they probably did it.

40. Do they often blame themselves for other people’s problems?

Very rarely. If they caused someone’s problem, they either did it on purpose, or don’t care too much, and if they didn’t cause it they aren’t likely to think they did. They’re a self centered kid at heart.

41. Do they get sick often?

Their immune system is actually pretty weakened and resistant to most medicines due to their long term drug exposure, but they don’t really notice when they get sick since they’re used to just working through it. They probably don’t think they’re sick even when they are.

42. Are they comfortable with where they are in life?

For the most part, yes. They love being free to do what they want, and the world to them is still a beautiful place full of adventure and possibility. They don’t realize how much they have yet to grow.

43. Do they wish that they could change their pasts?

They’re convinced that now that their parents are dead and they’ve left the compound, the past doesn’t matter. They wish they’d left sooner, and that they’d stayed with their friend Cara and been able to take her with, but they refuse to even think about the past most of the time.

44. What’s one thing they wish they could do more often, but can’t?

They want to be able to work more on their gun, and make more weapons and better weapons. It takes time, resources, and money that they don’t always have.

45. What is the emotion they most commonly experience?

Wildly split between joy and fury. With a pretty large portion confusion, as well. They actually are a pretty happy person, as long as they’re able to pretend problems don’t exist. In battle, they typically actually enjoy fighting. However, any negative emotion they have they pretty quickly convert into anger, which they’re more comfortable with.

46. Have they ever contemplated suicide?

Never seriously. Not beyond vaguely wishing they’d die while they were going through withdrawal. They absolutely want to stay alive and free.

47. Have they ever gone so far as to attempt suicide?

No. They’ve done plenty of reckless, life endangering things, but never with the intent to die.

48. Is there anyone that they would willingly kill?

Yep, and they have. Many times. Even before joining the party, they killed their parents along with many others in the compound by blowing up a large housing unit. Most recently, they put eight bullets through the unconscious body of a bandits who’d hurt one of their friends.

49. If [name] was put into ______ situation, they’d rather die than live to see it through.

Having to go back into someone’s control, or back under the thrall of drugs.

[michaelandy101-blog]

How to Run an Instagram Contest: A 10-Step Guide

New Post has been published on https://tiptopreview.com/how-to-run-an-instagram-contest-a-10-step-guide/

How to Run an Instagram Contest: A 10-Step Guide

With more than 1 billion monthly active users, Instagram has established itself as an obvious platform for brands looking to expand their reach and engage with their audience.

Figuring out how to launch a successful Instagram contest, however, is much less obvious. Sure, it sounds like an effective strategy for stirring up conversation — it capitalizes on user generated content (UGC) and typically requires very little commitment for participants. But where do you start? And how can you be sure that you’re covering all the bases?

How to Run an Instagram Contest: A 10-Step Guide

To help give you some direction, we put together a detailed list of steps to run through when planning an engaging Instagram contest. From setting goals to monitoring submissions, we’ve covered all of the basics below — and we’ve included some inspirational examples along the way. Check it out …

Disclaimer: This blog post includes some information on legal issues surrounding internet marketing, but legal information is not the same as legal advice — applying the law to a specific circumstance. We’ve conducted research to better ensure that our information is accurate and useful, but we insist that you talk to a lawyer if you want professional assurance that our information, and your interpretation of it, is accurate. In a nutshell, you may not rely on this information as legal advice, nor as a recommendation or endorsement of any particular legal understanding, and you should instead see this post’s info as for entertainment purposes only.

1. Plan objectives and goals.

Before you dive into an Instagram marketing contest, it’s important to plan it out first. The key to running a successful contest is to have a purpose — one that aligns with the interests and behaviors of your target audience.

Whether you’re looking to grow your brand presence on Instagram or build out your list of followers, it’s important that you set a specific goal so that you’re not left wondering whether or not you were successful in the end.

To help narrow your focus, think about the audience you’re trying to reach: What kinds of posts do they like seeing on your account? What kinds of posts do they enjoy posting on their own feeds? How do they behave on the platform? If you’re looking to drum up a lot of engagement, you should aim to center your goals and purpose around content that your audience actually wants to post and engage with.

Don’t forget to establish a time frame and budget for your contest, as determining these logistical details upfront will help you design a more effective contest.

2. Create an entry method.

Although the most effective and engaging Instagram contests are those that actually prompt your audience to post their own photos, there are number of different ways brands can create contests on Instagram. Because of this, it’s important to establish and emphasize what it takes for your audience to actually enter the contest.

Here are some ideas for how your audience might enter your contest:

Have your audience post a photo or a video to Instagram with a specific hashtag and a specific theme.

Have your audience solely follow you or do so in addition to creating a post.

Have your audience tag your brand in their post.

Have your audience Like or comment on one of your posts.

(For more ideas, click here.)

Make sure you establish what the guidelines are for entering the contest, and make that clear on your promotional materials. Maybe your contest is centered around a hashtag that doesn’t include your brand name. If you still want your brand to be tagged to gain recognition, you have to make that clear in your rules.

3. Find the perfect hashtag.

A good hashtag is a key to any engaging Instagram contest. Without it, there’s no link between the contest and the content being generated. In other words, hashtags help create brand and/or contest recognition by serving as a mechanism for sharing and driving participation.

Trouble is, creating the perfect hashtag can be tricky. If your contest is going to have a time frame (and it should), you want to create a hashtag that you’re not going to want to use over and over again. Not to mention, there are tons of hashtags being created each day, making it difficult to land on something unique and catchy.

To help you come up with the best fit, consider these contest hashtag guidelines:

Short: Create a hashtag that sticks in people’s minds. The more readable and identifiable your hashtag is, the better it is for your contest.

Relevant: Make sure you’re creating a hashtag that is very clearly related back to your brand name, product, or services. If you settle on a generic, crowded hashtag such as #ThrowbackThursday, it’s likely that you’ll have a hard time figuring out who your participants actually are.

Memorable: Users are likely to see promotions for your contest prior to actually posting the content. This means your hashtag needs to be memorable enough for users to think about it once and remember to act sometime later. Try to make your hashtag catchy, easy to search, and easy to write. Avoid weird spellings and confusing word choices.

Universal: Think about your audience. Does everyone speak the same language or use similar words? If you have an international audience, make sure you’re careful about using slang words or region-specific terms that might confuse people.

Rare: Do a search before you choose a hashtag. Are there lots of users using your ideal hashtag for some other purposes? If so, you may want to head back to the drawing board.

An example of an effective, engaging hashtag:

Mint.com, an online personal budgeting and financial management company, hosted their #MyMintMoment contest.

The contest was well-designed for a number of reasons, one of which is its hashtag. The hashtag — #MyMintMoment — is simple, short, memorable, and easy to understand. It stayed on-brand and had a clear theme.

The goal of the contest was to get users to post about the things they were saving for. Participants posted pictures of tattoos, vacations, weddings, children, cars — you name it.

This is a great example of an effective hashtag, but it’s also a great example of how UGC can be used to drive marketing decisions. Think about it: Mint asked participants to share posts about things they were saving for. Sounds like an easy way to gain insight surrounding the unique motives and interests that fuel the usage of their service, doesn’t it?

4. Clearly define a theme.

Because most Instagram contests are UGC-based, it’s important to pick a theme so your users know what kinds of pictures and videos to post.

Ideally, you want to a pick a theme that aligns with your market, product, or services. But you can also take advantage of holidays, seasons, and events that align with your product or brand.

An example of an effective theme:

Last summer, D Magazine, a city and lifestyle magazine based in Dallas, used the Texas summer heat to create an effective #StayCoolDallas contest. The contest encouraged participants to submit photos of ways to stay cool in the Dallas heat. Submissions included everything from cold drinks at favorite bars and restaurants to fun summer activities.

This contest and hashtag worked particularly well because of the double meaning of the word “cool” — which ultimately left room for participants to get creative with their interpretations. This is a great example of how to make engagement super easy.

While the hashtag wasn’t totally brand-specific, the theme was very much in line with their brand and passion for all things Dallas. And as a result of the contest, they were left with a ton of new material to get ideas for their next issue.

5. Decide how winners will be chosen.

Part of a well-designed contest is informing your participants of how the winner will be chosen. Most contests are determined based on one of two ways: a vote or a jury. Let’s explore how each option works …

Voting:

A great way to boost the virality of your contest is to have participants compete for the most Likes. If the prize is valuable enough, your participants will likely share their posts with their friends across channels in order to get as many Likes as possible.

This strategy helps maximize your audience’s reach. At the same time, it can be detrimental to your contest, as you run into issues with folks using “Like bots” to gain artificial Likes. To avoid any complications here, you’ll want to put forth very specific rules that address the use of these types of workarounds.

Jury:

For the sake of quality and overall fairness, the jury method is the clear winner. With the jury method, you select a group of experts to decide upon a winner, rather than relying on a voting system.

There are pros and cons to votes or juries, but no matter the way you choose, make sure to clearly state your method so your users know what they’re vying for. Many brands choose to have a mixed-method approach and use a combination of voting and jury to determine the winner.

6. Choose an appropriate award.

When determining what the award for you contest should be, you need to consider your target audience, your budgetary constraints, and how aggressive your goals are.

Remember that by asking your audience to participate in the contest, you’re asking them to take action on something. As with any effort like this, you’ll need the value of the prize to outweigh the cost and energy required to enter the contest. While people might gloss over an opportunity to win a free t-shirt, it’s likely that they’d be willing to jump through a few hoops for something like a free trip.

While your prize should match the entry action, it should also align with the interests of your target audience. Ask yourself: What might my target audience like to have? Your list of answers for this — budget not considered — might be huge. Sure, everyone wants that free trip we mentioned earlier, but that’s not the point. The goal is to find a prize that’s both valuable and relevant to your brand.

Gift cards, free services, coupons, giveaways, and product goodie bags are all common prizes that brands use for contests, but we’re always in favor of getting creative, too.

Example of a creative contest prize:

One of our favorite examples of contest prizes was Sperry’s Photo Real Design Contest. Sperry encouraged users to post “epic photos” that represented an “odyssey.”

Participants then submitted photos of all kinds of things — nature shots, colorful art, real people, etc. — to be judged based on creativity and the number of Likes it received.

The winner that was chosen received a unique pair of Sperry shoes featuring their photo. Talk about a creative prize, right? Not to mention, it served as a great example of how brands can use contests to inspire real product ideas.

7. Create terms & conditions.

Don’t forget that when you create a competition with a prize, you must follow legal guidelines. The laws that will apply to you depend on where you’re based and who you allow to enter your contest, so you should consult your lawyer for help drafting your terms and conditions. Creating a terms & conditions page is a must.

Here are some common terms people include:

The name and contact details of the promoting brand

The dates of the contest

The rules of who can enter (such as age and employee restrictions)

The guidelines for how people enter

The guidelines for how a winner is chosen

The date and way winners will be announced

The date and way the winner will be informed

The time period the winner has to respond and claim their prize

The specific of the prize (including number of prizes, description of prizes, and any caveats)

The details of how the prize will be delivered

Acknowledge that the promotion isn’t sponsored, endorsed or administered by, or associated with Instagram or any other social media used throughout the contest.

Note: Check out Instagram’s Promotion guidelines and make sure to comply with their rules.

8. Promote like crazy.

Now that you’ve got a solid plan in place, it’s time to promote the heck out of your contest.

Where’s the best place to start spreading the word? The possibilities are seemingly endless, but here are a few ideas to inspire your promotion efforts:

Your blog. Write a post on your site detailing the contest, and use it as a launch point for your contest’s landing page.

Social media. What better place to launch a social media contest than on social media? Direct your existing followers to the contest by including a shortened link in your bio and referencing that link in your promotional posts.

Email. Extend the invitation to participate to your email subscribers by sending over a quick and friendly email to announce the offer.

9. Monitor submissions.

Monitoring both your promotional efforts and the level of participation during your contest is essential for meeting your goals and creating a plan to follow up on your contest.

Make sure to determine what metrics you’d like to use and how you’ll keep track of them. Here are some metrics to consider using:

Number of submissions – Total number of posts submitted in compliance with your terms and conditions.

Likes per submission – Helps you keep track of potential winners if your contest is decided by vote.

Number of participants – If users can submit more than one submission, how many unique participants contributed to your contest?

Top participants – Who shared the most content during your campaign? Keeping track of this helps you better engage with your biggest fans.

Total Likes – Measures the total number of Likes on all submissions in your contest.

Total reach – Captures the number of followers of your participants at the time of submission. Meant to show you the potential reach of your campaign.

Follower growth during contest – Measure how much your following increased during the contest’s time period.

If your current audience is relatively small, and you don’t expect more than 30 submissions to your contest, you may decide to monitor your contest manually. To do this, assign someone the task of keeping track of submissions each day. At the end of the contest, someone will have to go through each submission and measure and write down the results from each submission.

If you’re monitoring your contest manually, try using a tool like Tagboard or Google Alerts to keep track of when your hashtag is being mentioned online, making it easier to track submissions. (HubSpot customers: You can set up a custom Stream in your Social Monitoring tool to keep tabs on a specific hashtag. Learn more here.)

If you’re expecting well over 30 submissions, however, you can imagine how difficult monitoring your submissions might be. If that’s the case, you may want to explore an Instagram-specific tool such as Iconosquare.

10. Follow up accordingly.

Once the contest is over, you can’t forget to follow up on the rules you set in the first place. Keep your terms and conditions in mind when reviewing the submissions to ensure that you’re being 100% fair in your evaluation.

Again, this is why establishing your terms and conditions early on is so important, as it will provide you with an documented plan for selecting, contacting, and awarding the winner.

Once you’ve selected and notified the winner, don’t forget to make the announcement publicly. Here’s an example of how to do so from D Magazine‘s #StayCoolDallas contest:

Instagram Contest Ideas

Now that you know how to run a contest, you’ll need to dream up ways to make your contest interesting, compelling, and appropriate for your brands. Here are some of the top contest ideas for Instagram:

1. Caption Contest

The perfect caption can make or break an Instagram post, so why not source the creativity of your audience and get some laughs along the way?

The caption contest is a great choice for Instagram because it allows your audience to stop and think about the contest (and, in effect, your brand) while providing a low-friction way for them to participate.

2. User-Generated Content

User-generated content — or any content produced by unpaid contributors — is a win/win for a brand. They get to participate and possibly win prizes; you get to enjoy extended reach by tapping into your audience’s audiences (say that 10 times fast). Not to mention that your brand benefits from the social proof of de facto testimonials from their participation.

Plus, to get even more mileage from the contest, you can ask participants’ permission to feature their content on your channels, giving you more content to promote.

3. Trivia Contest

With a trivia contest, you’re challenging your audience to demonstrate what they know. This encourages engagement on your posts and generates awareness for your brand and/or the topic that you’re shining the spotlight on. All you have to do is ask a question and reward those who get the answer correct. That reward may come in the form of a prize or as entry to win a prize.

4. Engage to Win

These types of contests are perhaps one of the more popular on Instagram because they solicit direct engagement as a way to enter. This may come in the form of likes, follows, shares, or tagging people. By doing this, you receive a ton of engagement as a result of the incentive, and this can increase your brand reach.

5. 1 Like 1 Vote

This contest usually relies on user-generated content but takes it a step further. The content gets promoted, and the audience is asked to vote (with a like) on the best entry, whether it’s a song, drawing, selfie, or other showcase of talent/personality. For this reason, your “contestants” are further incentivized to promote your contest to their audiences.

6. Raffle or Game

A raffle is just as possible online as it is in person. You can direct your audience to participate in whatever way you see fit to choose a random number or receive a raffle ticket. At the end, use a random number generator to select the winner. You can also do games such as “guess how many marbles are in the jar” or “how many differences can you find in these two pictures” as a way for participants to win/enter.

7. Offline Challenge

Just because you’re spreading the word of your contest through Instagram doesn’t mean it has to be based or held on Instagram. You can incentivize your audience to do something outdoors, participate in a fitness challenge, or perform some other activity.

Ready to Run a Contest on Instagram?

Now that you know everything it takes to run a successful, engaging Instagram contest, go put your knowledge to work for your brand.

Not only will you end up engaging and expanding your audience, but you’ll also end up with great new content you can use to inspire future content and contests.

Editor’s note: This post was originally published in July 2018 and has been updated for comprehensiveness.

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[unending-happiness]

The Most Beautiful Thing on the Planet

Alec and Magnus travel to the Maldives Islands for some much needed rest and relaxation. Their alone time gets interrupted by something unexpected. Alec is full of sass and Magnus is his usual magnificent self. Basically, just these two lovebirds in paradise.

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It was amazing how everything was better on vacation, even the coffee tasted better in paradise. Alec stood in the doorway to the deck of their overwater villa. They had been keeping the large sliding glass door opened all the way, so that the indoor and outdoor spaces merged into one. Even at night, there was no need for privacy, the only thing as far as the eye could see were the crystal turquoise waters of the Indian Ocean and a blue sky filled with puffy white clouds. They were but a few steps away from water so clear you could see all the marine life below, as your feet settled into soft white sand. It was a stunning sight, but even the idyllic scenery had nothing on the sight that was currently capturing Alec’s attention.

Magnus was lying on his stomach wearing nothing but the shortest, tightest swim bottoms that he had ever seen, not that he was complaining one bit. His already tan skin had been kissed by the sun over the past few days, giving him an almost unearthly glow. Magnus always called him an angel, but Alec knew who the real angel was here. He must’ve just gotten out of the pool, his skin still glistening with drops of water, his hair wet and slicked back. There were a number of comfortable lounge chairs and a hammock nearby, but Magnus was stretched out on the smooth tiki wood of the deck, his hand draped over the edge into their private infinity pool, languidly swishing through warm water. He was facing the ocean, his long legs stretched out toward Alec, toes pointed gracefully. Alec couldn’t see his face from where he stood, but he knew that he still didn’t have makeup on, nor any jewelry, and his nails weren’t painted. He knew because those fingers had just slid down his chest an hour ago, before he left Alec to his book and went outside. He was actually surprised Magnus had bothered to pull on bottoms, as he had taken to this pool naked more than a few times in their time here.

Alec knew that in a short time, all of his usual flair would be back.  Magnus would get dressed up for their lunch date at the resort restaurant. This stripped down version of Magnus was something that few people ever got to see, and Alec felt a great sense of pride at being trusted with a laid bare Magnus. He knew that without the makeup, jewelry, and clothes, Magnus felt like a knight without his armour. However, he knew the truth and reminded him often that his armor was his incredible inner strength. Alec truly loved every version of Magnus, and couldn’t get enough of any of them.

He took a last sip of his coffee and quietly set it down on a nearby table, and moved to join his boyfriend by the pool, yearning to run his hands across his damp skin. He walked quietly, the wood soft and soundless under his feet, thinking Magnus would feel the vibrations and look up, but he didn’t. Closer now, he had a clear view of Magnus’ face. He was expecting his eyes to be closed, or at least filled with a look of serenity, so when he saw that his eyebrows were scrunched in irritation, his lips in a scowl, Alec followed his gaze to his hand. He was holding his iphone, it’s black glittery case shining in the sun, with a colorful game playing on the screen.

“Magnus Bane,” Alec said sternly, snapping him out of his game-induced concentration, “I cannot believe you.”

Magnus jumped, nearly dropping the offending article, before burying his face in the crook of his elbow and groaning. “Ugh. I thought you were reading.”

“I missed you, and you look so hot laying out here all spread ou--” Alec stopped, shaking his head ”--no, I’m not getting distracted. We specifically said no cellphones on vacation.”

Magnus rolled over onto his back, so that he could look up at Alec, pressing the button on his phone to turn off the screen and laying it next to him. “Yes, I’m aware of what we said, but honestly, you were reading, so I don’t see why I can’t just play a game, Alexander. Be reasonable.”

Alec scoffed, putting his hands on his hips over his shorts, “Be reasonable?! You’ve got to be kidding me. You are the one who made the rule. You went so far as to lock my phone in the hotel safe when we got here. You gave my family the resort number in case they needed anything, because, you know, I wouldn’t have my phone.”

Leaning back on his elbows looking up at him, Magnus at least had the grace to appear a little remorseful, “I understand, but the whole no phones deal was made because yours is always ringing and interrupting us.  It’s always Jace, Izzy, Maryse, work, someone is always calling. I love that your family is important to you and that you are dedicated to your clients, but they always want you to fix something, and I just wanted one whole week of not having to share you, my love. Is that really too much to ask?”

“No, it isn’t too much to ask. I know that my work keeps me busy and my family can be a bit much, which is why I agreed, but the point is, you said you wouldn’t use yours either,” a thought occurred to him, “Wait...when did you even get yours out of the safe? How long have you had it?”

Magnus evaded the question, “I just wanted to beat this one level on candy crush..I’m so close, and you were reading that boring book anyway.”

Alec balked, throwing his hands in the air, “Candy crush?! You broke our pact for a game about crushing candy? Unbelievable,” but his annoyance was waning as his eyes raked over Magnus’ toned abs, displayed in all their glory in front of him. Damn libido!

Magnus’ knowing look told Alec that he knew exactly what was on his mind, and he smiled innocently, seeing his chance to distract him, “Darling. I am so sorry. How can I ever make it up to you?”

Alec could think of a way….or ten. “Don’t darling me. I’m still mad at you,” he said, but he lowered himself down, straddling Magnus. Leaning over him, he scooped a handful of water from the pool and dripped it into Magnus’ hair, smoothing it out of his face. “You are the most gorgeous candy crush addict I have ever seen.” He was leaning down to kiss him, when a loud chirping sound came from Magnus’ phone. He quickly snatched it up and sat up, sitting back on his thighs to keep him in place. He held the phone up out of reach, put in the lock screen password, and swiped down notifications, ignoring Magnus’ protests.

It was a text from Ragnor.

I emailed you with the files for next week’s edition, as requested. Honestly, Magnus, Catarina and I have this under control. I don’t know why you insist on working from halfway across the world. Don’t you have something else to do? such as: snorkel, drink from a coconut, or climb that tall broody tree of yours? Speaking of, Alec has instagram. He’s going to see the dates on those pictures when you get back, and I would love to be there when he does. Stop micromanaging. I’m not enabling you anymore.

Alec’s jaw dropped. Magnus was working?! He was working a lot apparently, and he was also on social media. So much for the whole ‘just playing a game’ bit. “You lied to me,” he said.

Magnus gave up trying to get the phone from Alec and slumped back down, putting his hands on Alec’s thighs, “I didn’t lie to you. You didn’t ask me if I was working, specifically,” he said, while slowly sliding his hands up under Alec’s shorts.

Damnit. Why was Magnus so good at removing all thoughts from his mind? He leveled a pointed gaze at his hands, which had the immediate effect of stilling them. “Withholding the truth is lying by omission, Magnus, and you know that.” He leaned down and whispered, “I am going to throw your phone into the ocean.”

Magnus panicked, “Don’t do that! That phone case was a gift from Catarina and it is one of a kind.”

Alec laughed incredulously, “So you aren’t worried about the brand new expensive electronic, but you are worried about the sparkly phone case?”

“All the best things sparkle.” Magnus retorted.

He couldn’t argue with that logic, considering Magnus sparkled most of the time and Alec was crazy about him. For a moment, he thought of removing the phone from it’s case and hurling it, but then he looked at Magnus underneath him, nearly naked and vulnerable, lips pouty and pleading, and he just sighed. He wasn’t going to win this one, so he typed out a text reply to Ragnor.

Magnus can’t come to his phone right now. It has been confiscated by the broody tall tree. He will see you in 5 days.

He decided to pull up instagram next, to see what kind of pictures Magnus had posted of their trip during his secret phone time. Expecting beach pictures, he was surprised when the first thing he saw was a picture of himself. It was a black and white shot of him sleeping, his hair wild against the white pillow, one hand tucked up under his head, the other one curled around Magnus’ hand. The caption on the photo seemed to be song lyrics, ones that Alec didn’t recognize, but that he would be listening to the first chance he got.

I surrender who I’ve been for who you are, nothing makes me stronger than your fragile heart. If I had only felt how it feels to be yours, I would’ve known what I’ve been living for all along. ~ Turning Page, Sleeping at Last.

Alec swallowed. He felt overwhelmed with gratitude that life had given him this amazing, beautiful man who loved him. He blinked back tears as he focused on Magnus’ face.

Magnus looked concerned, “What are you looking at? Is it Ragnor? Are you going to throw my phone into the Indian Ocean?”

Alec powered down the device, placed it on the deck, and leaned down, kissing Magnus on the nose and running his fingers through his hair.

“No, I’m not. I’m going to order room service. We are going to stay here all day, and I’m going to worship every inch of your body in a vain attempt to show you how impossibly in love with you I am.”

Magnus placed both hands on his face, and whispered, “I love you too, Alexander.” He smiled, rubbing a thumb across his cheek, “Does this mean I get to finish my game later?”

Alec kissed him breathless, completely losing himself in the most beautiful thing on the planet.

[netherwar-rpg-blog]

Welcome to the Wardens, Lash! Your application for THE PRODIGY has been accepted with a Sean Teale FC.

The application can be found under the cut. You have 48 hours to create a roleplay account (cannot be a sideblog) for your character and we will be updating our opening date soon!

O O C - I N F O

Name: Lash

Age: 24

Timezone: Eastern Standard

Activity Level: I will be as active as possible. I work M-F 6-4.

Extra: N/A

S K E L E T O N - I N F O

T H E - B A S I C S

Title: The Prodigy

Name: Khal Asra

Gender: Male

Age: 28

Class: Rogue

Faceclaim: Sean Teale (this might change later I am not sure)

C H A R A C T E R - D E T A I L S

Nationality:

Carnish

Appearance:

Khal is always stern, perfect posture and arms crossed. It is his strict upbringing that has made him so unaffected. He feels nothing and he needs nothing. He seldom smiles or laughs unless he is making a joke or genuinely amused. He is not the type to laugh as drunkards sing merry songs or grunt their filthy jokes. He barely even drinks. He must remain on hundred percent dedicated to his mission and this entails sobriety.

He is twenty-eight but wise beyond those years. Growing up on the streets made boys into men. The boys who refused to grow up were found with knives in their bellies. He has been in his share of fights over the years, scraps is a better term. Khal knows now that a true fight ends in death. He has scars along his knuckles from his days of thieving. He took the blame away from her, the girl who is a shred of memory. Most of the scares are hard for him to recall but that doesn’t make them any less present. Khal dresses in dark clothing. He is never without his black hood that conceals his handsome features in shadow. Khal’s identity is sacred so he takes great care in concealing his features. He is fond of long sleeves in the summer months, thin flexible fabric that hugs his muscled arms allows him to stay cool and still conceal himself. He has a branded symbol on his ribs beneath his arm that marks him as the prodigy though most would never understand it’s meaning. His weapons are blades. He loves the proximity to the kill as much as he loves pleasing his master. To feel the blood spill at his hands excites him. The twin blades are poised at his back in an X. Two daggers, one in each boot, and a curved blade adorn his garb but the Twins are his first choice. They were specifically designed for him by the smiths of his Master. They are his most prized possession. Khal keeps his facial hair neatly trimmed, not many have the privilege of gazing at him to appreciate his impeccable grooming. Khal keeps his body in top shape. Every day he faces a regiment of cardio, strength, and weapons training. Martial Arts are his second language. He is always clean and well kept. As far as women are concerned, he has a certain appeal. He is attractive and he knows this. He enjoys the sport of captivating a woman to the point of her eating out of his palm. His arrogance is not a virtue but a flaw that the Master has desperately tried to beat from him.

Personality:

+ Observant + Meticulous + Patient

- Arrogant – Unemotional – Introverted

C H A R A C T E R - B A C K G R O U N D

History:

Khal grew up on the streets without much of anything. His mother was an assassin and his father was unknown. A bastard boy raised by the street’s cold embrace but he was never alone; his only friend, a girl his own age who saw him as more than just a street urchin, whose name he can barely recall. His mind has been brainwashed to forget it all, how to feel and how to laugh. She is a hazy memory now. His mother was never around when he was young. She was always out taking lives instead of providing for his. Once he was weaned from her breast she was a ghost to him. Vana was all that he had. Together they made the streets their home. Anything they could steal they would. He used to be light-hearted and free then. Vana was his only redeeming quality. They were both hardened by the harshness of the underworld but somehow they managed to build a friendship. Khal trusted her and she trusted him. He would find himself devoted to protecting her even though she could hold her own. There was never anything beyond a friendship. He was never in love with her or anything of that lustful nature. She was his friend and that was plenty. When She was taken away he was heartbroken. They were sleeping when he was awoken by the situation. He was normally a light sleeper but tonight he had slept so soundly. He was almost drunk when he attempted to chase them. They disappeared into the shadows of the city and Khal was left stumbling around. Half-dressed and dazed. He screamed her name over and over for weeks. A nightmare that became a reality, part of his life had been mercilessly separated from his soul. Many nights after he relived the drunk stupor that had inhibited his ability to maneuver the shadows, to save her. The shadows would surround him and suck the life from him. His vision blurred and he would see her face. She would scream and plead for him to save her but he would be paralyzed. Khal was forced to battle this and finally he repressed it. Now he was stern and emotionless. Shortly after she was taken he was chosen to become the Master’s Prodigy. There were rules he had to follow. He must be physically capable and emotionally capable. These rules were enforced without mercy. Khal cut his ties to everything. He became something else. He adopted a new name to separate him from his Assassin mother and bastard father. Khal became Khal Asra. It means travel by night, a fitting name for his new identity. The Prodigy must never reveal who he is. The purpose of a shadow is to conceal the darkest deed from humanity. Humanity needs the Dark Union to handle the deeds that they themselves are repulsed by. That was his teachings. He was a shadow; no one and everyone, faceless. The transition was his finest hour. That day when his Master looked him in the eye and was finally at peace with his decision was the proudest he had ever been. He was arrogant at first but soon learned that arrogance would be his downfall. His Master had beaten it out of him but it is still dormant within him. Now that he is one with the shadows his attitude is far less inviting. He has become cold and unfeeling toward everything. He was now the perfect weapon but he must be tested. There have been rumors that his mother had been with the Master and he himself was the product. His mother expressed great pride in knowing that her son was the prodigy and now she was dead. Deep down Khal knew that she had to be killed and he knew that his Master had ensured it. She likely knew what was happening before the poison was ever delivered. His mother had been the final sacrifice in his journey to power. He had buried her long ago and his Master completed his act. He knew the Master had her killed. This created no ill will or anger. Khal knows that the Master knows best. He is his father now, he always has been. Khal knows not that his father is The Master but that fact is that this has always been his destiny. Now The Master has called upon Khal for a final trial, a quest of unwavering importance. He must infiltrate the Wardens. Khal knew from many rumors that Vana was there. The Master knew this as well. His reservations were a disappointment to him but Khal could not and would not fail him. Know that Vana is there has been a true test of his loyalty. He has put her aside for so long that he will have no trouble forgetting their years together. He must not tie himself to her again or she will cause him to fail. The Wardens believe he is there to serve the people. He is gifted and Vana is unintimidated by him. It is an easy web of lies to spin. The ties to Vana have only been severed on one end, his. Will he continue to serve his destiny or will Vana break down his walls of cold steel? The true question is what destiny will lead him to greater power? Reason for joining the Wardens: He is on a Mission from his Master. He has lied and insisted on the most sincerest reasons to all others.

R O L E P L A Y - S A M P L E

“In life there are endless opportunities journey toward your destiny; in death it is finally achieved.” The Master’s ideals were now Khal’s. The only other sound was the gasping of His dying mother sprawled upon the cobblestone courtyard. Her eyes were no longer his. There was no reflection in them to signal the presence of a soul. She was fading fast, a shadow. Since Khal was her only living relative he wouldbe charged with her final arrangements. The Master had slipped away into the safety of the shadows but Khal had no problem sticking around a while longer. The sun had just begun its accent and it had been too long since he had felt its kiss. He would be feeling it much more now that he was to begin his journey to the Warden’s domain. His first priority would be disposing of this body. Her features were not as he remembered them. She looked like she had fallen victim to intoxication. There were no markings on her. She wore the tradition dark garb of an assassin but it seemed she had not been the only assassin in the courtyard. “Your destiny has been fulfilled. Your son is destined to bring The Dark Union Power.” Khal was kneeling beside her, gently combing his fingers through her hair as he whispered the words to whisk her away. In his moment of loss he could only relate to his thirst for dominance and power. No grief, no tears, no anger; it was understood that the Rogues lived and died as quickly as they were conceived. He felt nothing other than the thrumming of his charismatic heart. He touched her cheek with the back of his hand, she was still fairly warm. She spoke little but the words were thought provoking. “My son of shadows, “ her lips quivered but she shed no tears on the brink of death. It was the only claim she had ever laid to him. He never felt any pull toward her, no bonds of mother to son that could penetrate his unwavering desire to bury her and move on. She was at peace with it. It almost seemed that she had invited death to her doorstep for one last, symbolic meeting. “You mustn’t speak. Allow me to end this for you. It seems your assassin has used the wrong dose of fatal elixir.” Khal pulled her into his arms knowing that this was his test. Could he rid himself of his own mother without batting an eye? He held her tightly to his chest as he wrapped his arm across her chest and twisted her head into an unnatural angle. “My test is complete and you are free.” Khal whispered as he dropped his grip on her lifeless frame. He felt something but he always did when he ended a life.

[joshuazev]

On injera and carts of math books:

It’s snowing in Seattle.  I can see it all over social media my mom even face timed me to show the beginning of the fall.  It’s cold here and drizzling.  Throughout the entirety of the day I was thinking of how nice it would be to resort back to old traditions back home with my family.  Sit on the couch and watch a movie or two.  Eat some sweets like some chocolate chip cookies, a Christmas cake (but a jewish rendition), or some chocolate chip banana bread.  The quote of the week seemed to be that Christmas didn’t really feel like a holiday anymore or maybe I just heard a lot of people speaking the same bogus.  Kyrie Irving, the point guard for the Boston Celtics, who is infamously known for pushing the “world is flat” theory said that he doesn’t consider Christmas a holiday, anymore.  To him, and his case is specific, it’s just another day to spend time with your family.  As a professional basketball player I can see how that might be the case, but I think that applies to everybody.  Yes, it’s still the most hectic holiday—with respect to adoration and preparation—but when it comes down to it, everybody loves Christmas Eve and Christmas because it might be the only day where everyone’s family gets together.  And even though I don’t celebrate it, this is the first time I’ve ever spent these days away from my family.  It kind of sucked.  It did suck.  Now, that being said my roommate and I still did what we could to make the most of it.  I bought groceries at a pretty tame Trader Joes.  (According to the cashier it wasn’t very crowded because a lot of people living in New York aren’t from New York, so everyone was back home).  I did some laundry.  I woke up late to another grey sky and cool day, so even though I wasn’t physically back home the elements were trying their hardest to provide an embrace.  Upon the suggestion of my roommate, we tried to have a Christmas eve meal somewhere, but to our dismay most of the places were closed.  We ended up meeting with a friend of mine and going to a vegan Ethiopian place that she and I had gone to a couple of days before.  It was one of the only places around that was open late.  A couple of us literally got what the menu called a “Feast,” which was a huge plate of injera with seven items from the menu.  Lentils, greens, beets, you name it.  It was filling and delicious all at the same time.  For some odd reason I was inclined to drink some wine with the other two.  We emptied a bottle of red pretty quickly, and not being used to getting tipsy from drinking wine, I became drowsy by the end of the meal.  In the first ten months of this year I could count the amount of times I had something to drink on two hands, but for some reason I’ve been drinking more lately.  I’m a bit disappointed in myself because it was one of my resolutions to greatly reduce and try to not drink at all, but it almost feels like these last couple months have been a relapse of sorts.  I’m not an alcoholic, but alcohol—especially in social settings—is such a crutch.  Disciplining myself not to drink when there are drinks around might be something that I have to practice over time.

There were many opportunities today to get on the right track in several different areas of study, cleaning, and mindset, but my overriding excuse to everything was that it was Christmas and I would take care of it when the holidays were over.  I almost got trapped into saying I’ll just take care of it next year considering that 2018 is in a week now, but luckily I didn’t go that far.  I’m not getting down on myself for being lazy today or for not accomplishing the tasks I wanted to accomplish, but I’m very cognizant lately of troubling trends and bad habits.  Like always, I know that recognition is not enough—I must go through the trouble of changing.  Sometimes when I’m walking around the city I ask myself if other people have done what they need to do to change, not knowing who they are or what their current situation may be.  On the way home from the restaurant there was a guy on the subway with a heavily tattooed face asking for money and wearing what looked to be a brand new leather backpack.  Or when we were waiting for the train, there was this guy who was speed walking, dropped the sweater he was holding and then tried to sell it to us for three dollars.  I always wonder what it would be like to be homeless.  What would the struggles be.  I looked on a social media post that showed a homeless man acting out on the street.  Two of the visible comments were by ex-NFL players who agreed that homeless people were the freest people on the earth.  I didn’t know exactly what they were talking about, but after a while I could kind of see where they were coming from.  Then again, walking from stop to stop today when the winds were doing their chilly best to give my body frostbite, I agreed that being homeless wasn’t on the top of my list.  In one of my earlier posts I talked about some moments of anxiety in which I realize I’ve been holding my breath and it makes me take a huge gasp, almost like I’ve woken up from a nightmare.  I feel for the homeless population, especially during times like these.  I wish they could be with their families.  I wish they weren’t spending their time trying to stay warm in the cold.  Good thing there is a new tax bill that’s looking out for them…

This week I made two separate visits to Strand’s bookstore, near Union Square.  I didn’t really have a point to going there, but there was a book I was interested in reading and at the time there was 175 plus holds on all of the copies at the library.  So, when I got there and saw that the hardcover was $24 and that it was a New York Times bestseller and that plenty of copies had already been sold, I told myself that I would treat my visit to Strand’s as if it was the library and I would try to just read the book there.  The book, which I have almost finished now, is called “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F***.”  It had been recommended to me by many of my friends and I was interested in taking a look to see what all the hype was about.  The first two chapters (my first visit) made me very defensive.  A lot of the author’s mentality is backwards and attempts to challenge out hardwired ways of thinking.  A lot of it was obvious on the surface (we stress out too much) to the types of advice that makes someone like me a little less comfortable (we need to stop caring as much and we need to accept that not everyone is extraordinary, potentially even us).  I realized that during my second visit (the next two chapters) that I would need to try to find the information I agreed with and take the rest with a grain of salt.  I was naturally skeptical and questioned how genuine this author really was.  I wondered if he stood by what he was saying or he was just trying to make money.  I also wondered if it was my own insecurities that were questioning the advice of a successful man.  I don’t know for sure, yet.  I’m hoping to go back soon and finish after a couple more visits.  My thoughts on self-help books haven’t changed much, though.  I don’t know why, but I’ve stayed away from them.  On the surface it makes me look pathetic because it looks like I’m not trying to help myself, but call me crazy, I just feel like a lot of those books are a bunch of bullshit.  I’m sure they work for some people.  I just don’t know if they work for me.  It’ll be good for me to finish this one.  

Strand’s was a wonderful sight though.  It was earlier in the week, so I think it was a wonderful mix of the everyday vibrancy of the bookstore and all of these men, women, and children who were there in the hope of trying to find a decent gift for Christmas.  I reveled in the business of it all.  A city within a bookstore.  Creatures scurrying around.  It was fantastic.  The first day I sat on a bench on the second floor and people came and went to sit beside me.  Finally one older guy sat down next to me with a bunch of math books and started to take out his notebook and begin copying random equations down.  The second day, I went to go to the same bench and there was no room to sit and sure enough, the mathematician was in the same exact spot with his notebook, math books, and cart right in front of him.  I went to the other one in the back and after about fifteen minutes this older guy sat down next to me and was struggling with a slow I-Phone.  I suggested that maybe he get out of all of his open applications and he looked at me like I was speaking Chinese.  It took a while, but when he let me show him how to do it his phone started speeding up again.  He said, “How much would you like?” and with a confused face, I shrugged it off and told him that I hope his phone starts working better now.  He ended up striking a conversation and we talked for a little while.  He couldn’t hear very well, so I had to repeat a lot.  He continued on about how he loves music and preferred to listen to the opera in Europe because the acoustics were way better over there than the “crap” in America.  When I told him I was an actor, there was good conversation to be had, but then he started to take some ill advised left turns.  He talked about Kevin Spacey, Hollywood, Weinstein and other relatable topics.  His stance would have been torn apart by women and his final conclusion seemed to be that he was an amoral person and that we were ridiculous to be in a position to judge morality or to judge someone else’s morals.  I realized that I had shut him off when I could tell his opinions were getting on my nerves and looking back on it, I wish I hadn’t.  I had made a mistake and an error in judgement and instead of trying to hear him out and tell him why I disagreed I turn the sound all the way off.  Like Matt Damon and other men recently who insist on giving their opinion on the topic, a spectrum of bad behavior should have been considered.  To me it sounded like men that were comfortable with an old way of life trying to justify a machismo society, but maybe that’s what my tone deaf ears were telling me.  The amoral comment, which really struck a funky chord, is one that I’m still trying to unwrap, but maybe, all things considered, he was making a good point.  We are all creatures.  Creatures that have done and done wrong, so really, who are we to judge, at all?  

[adambstingus]

5 Terrible Tragedies Exploited By Cash-Obsessed A-Holes

Everyone loves a good scary movie, but wouldn’t it be great if you were actually living in a scary movie? That’s the business model in play for some luminaries out there, who think you really want to relive some of history’s most horrifying moments. They’re convinced that the tragedy-junkie dollar exists, dammit, and they’re going to get that green, dammit. So what’ve they come up with?

#5. Haunted Houses Based On Real Serial Killers

People who go to haunted houses are getting increasingly jaded — once you’ve chained live, naked actresses to the floor, there aren’t many places to go — apparently prompting the sort of people who design haunted houses to ask themselves, “What about actual murder?”

So, for the last few years, haunted houses have begun reenacting the real murders of notorious serial killers like Jeffrey Dahmer and John Wayne Gacy. One New York production even featured an exhibit of the creepsters’ personal belongings, donated by a murder memorabilia collector who requested to remain anonymous. Let the speculation begin!

It’s always the quiet ones.

If you haven’t cottoned on to what’s wrong with that, here’s a hint: The victims’ families are still alive! And lo, they aren’t thrilled about jump-scare peddlers using deceased loved ones as props. (And at $30 to $60 a ticket, wildly profitable ones.) To really rub it in, some houses are specifically focusing on local killers, just to make absolutely certain that someone will stumble upon their worst nightmare.

For example, a Sacramento house tried to cash in on the local notoriety of Richard Trenton Chase. For those of you who didn’t live through Chase’s serial killing spree, the short version is that he killed six people.

Then he mutilated and ate them.

Among his victims was a pregnant woman whom he shot, killed, stabbed, sexually assaulted, and drank the blood of, in that order. And her husband was the one who found her when Chase was done. So you could imagine the husband’s horror when he found out that 36 years later a local entertainer was selling tickets to staged re-creations of his wife’s murder. The only good news to come out of this story is that the Sacramento house shut down their fun little show when the victims’ grieving families complained.

Also, there’s a warm seat in hell reserved for this newspaper layout editor.

And the only reason the horrific story above is considered “good news” is because Rob Zombie didn’t have the grace to do the same thing after people complained about Rob Zombie’s Great American Nightmare in Chicago, which featured a Gacy room.

When the Gacy victims’ families complained about a haunted house room featuring a clown blowing up balloons while surrounded by child-sized dolls dressed as Boy Scouts, Rob Zombie said he thought the room was “funny.” And in case you’ve forgotten John Wayne Gacy’s shtick, it was raping and murdering at least 33 Chicago-area young men. To be fair, everyone who’s seen his Halloween remakes knows that Rob Zombie is a renowned authority on comedy.

Finally, London recently opened a Jack the Ripper museum that — not even fucking kidding here — initially branded itself as a new “museum of women’s history.” The museum’s press release invited visitors to experience Jack the Ripper’s crimes “through the eyes of the women who were his victims,” by which they meant “take selfies with their mannequin corpses.”

#TransformationTuesday #dead

No, really: “A picture with Jack in Mitre Square together with the body of Catherine Eddowes” was one of the advertised selling points. The museum’s spokesperson insisted that the morbid selfie station was “done in a very respectful way,” and those words somehow didn’t sound like nonsense when he heard them come out of his mouth. In another statement issued by the museum, they explained that they just wanted women to “be able to experience the London of 1888 in the presence of Jack the Ripper.” That’s a good point — where else could a woman ever experience the fear of violence just from walking down the street?

#4. An Annual Nazi-Themed Christmas Party

In 2014, a Minneapolis newspaper received a photo of a literal Nazi party, complete with cheerful swastika flags hung between Christmas lights over a group of men in SS uniforms. The anonymous sender provided no other information, making it seem like a really vague and bizarre threat, but the newspaper’s reporters eventually discovered that it was not, in fact, a Shining-style snapshot of a ghost ball but a group of historical reenactors partying like it’s 1939.

After the local Jewish community issued a call to shut down the event, its organizer made a statement, insisting, “By no means do we glorify the edicts of the Third Reich,” before pulling out the smelling salts in case he got a case of the vapors at the mere suggestion.

“We just like to get drunk and spend the evening heiling, like any fun-loving American.”

This little group just likes to get together for a bit of wholesome Nazi fun every Christmas and hand out swastika T-shirts to the restaurant staff, that’s all. Another partygoer explained, “Because they dress up like Germans from World War II, it’s cool to go to a German restaurant, eat German food, and drink German beer.” Dude, cultural appropriation is not the problem here.

As for why it was necessary to actually hang up Nazi decorations and give out Nazi party favors, they’re, uh … really into method acting? He compares it to “a Star Trek convention but for WWII enthusiasts,” failing to grasp the galaxy-sized difference between those things. He may not win any awards for cultural sensitivity, but he gets first place in self-dug holes.

#3. There Are Two New Titanics In The Works

Apparently, there are people who watch Titanic over and over for reasons other than Leonardo DiCaprio, Kate Winslet, and the furious masturbation they inspire. Indeed, the ship that famously claimed the lives of approximately 1,500 people has enough fans that not one but two actual-size replicas are being built.

One will be a functional cruise ship that its commissioner, Australian billionaire Clive Palmer, fully intends to sail, because some people have no fear of irony. Of course, the construction of Titanic II will comply with modern safety regulations, and it’s set to sail a completely different path. Don’t wanna tempt fate too much.

Crewmen shouting, “Iceberg! 2,500 miles north!” while not exactly in great taste, is a lot more reassuring.

The people building the other replica, however, are actually counting on it sinking. That’s because it will be part of a “6-D” Chinese theme park where people can experience the sinking firsthand with a simulation featuring an orgy of special effects and/or go insane exploring the two dimensions beyond time itself.

The guy funding it excitedly gushed that visitors “will think, ‘The water will drown me; I must escape with my life,‘” unwittingly unmasking himself as a robot with no comprehension of the human concept of fun. Aside from the questionable judgment of using a tragedy as the basis for a freaking theme park, what is even the point of a Titanic simulation that doesn’t include Kate Winslet’s nipples?

#2. A Reality TV Show Simulating Life In Nazi Germany

If you could travel back to any time period and experience how people lived in that era, what would you pick? The Ren Faire types might choose Renaissance Europe, the chemistry enthusiasts might choose the ’60s, and so on. That covers both of our readers, which means none of you picked Eastern Europe in the 1940s. Huh, why might that be?

“OK, before we set up the time machine, who votes ‘Hendrix concert’ and who votes ‘Nazi occupied Czechoslovakia’?”

Even though everyone knows what life was like in that particular place and time — to wit, super horrible — that hasn’t stopped those paragons of taste, reality TV producers, from bringing us The Real World: Nazi Europe. It was actually a short-lived series in the Czech Republic called, for serious, Holiday In The Protectorate. There was no time travel involved, just a modern family shut in a house with little food and period-appropriate accommodations while fake Nazi soldiers prowled outside, because they had a really weird idea of leisure.

“You have your Survivor, we have ours.”

The global Jewish community wasn’t impressed, namely because of one tiny anachronism that the director, whose stated goal was “to show life in another era while ensuring the highest level of authenticity,” had absentmindedly overlooked: The very real threat of death, which claimed 82,309 Czech Jews. The greatest danger faced by this family, on the other hand, was a falling stage light. Luckily, that means there was an easy way for the producers to make everyone happy: Just abduct one member of the household every week, never to be seen by their family again. For some reason, they went in a different direction.

#1. 9/11 And Trayvon Martin VR Games

It’s not a mind-blowing revelation that people like to play video games to live out fantasies, the most famous of which is pretending to be an Italian man who’s addicted to psilocybin and tortoise murder. There are also all kinds of Counter-Strike maps that allow you to play out real events, like the Boston Bombing and the standoff at the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge. They’re taking some pretty massive liberties with the facts, however. For example, the setup for the wildlife refuge includes fictional hostages the terrorists never took.

Apparently, long diatribes about the Bureau of Land Management don’t really work in a first-person shooter.

We already base most of our shoot-’em-up games on real wars and the like, so that’s only slightly below par for the course. Then there’s the 9/11 virtual reality game.

The plot? You’re not making a mad dash for survival. In fact, not dying isn’t even an option. You start out in an office in the North Tower, where you receive a few commands to fetch files for your boss and things like that, but once the first plane strikes, you just go where the game takes you. Where it takes you, in fact, is to the office of a stranger who quickly becomes so distraught that he jumps out the window. Then you watch your boss call her mom to say goodbye before you both suffocate from the smoke.

That’s it. Just 10 minutes of watching people cry, and then you die. It’s bleak as shit.

In terms of sheer pointlessness, though, the winner is — no, seriously — the VR reenactment of the shooting of Trayvon Martin. The experience is reconstructed from the 911 calls placed by George Zimmerman and, later, members of the community from inside their homes. So that’s the viewpoint we take. It’s literally just a bunch of people on the phone in their living rooms. We never see or hear anything of the actual shooting except for a flash of gunfire and the boy’s real screams for help. The designers insist that reenactments like these could be helpful to investigators, but failed to explain how animated phone calls starring the goddamn Sims tells anybody anything.

“We didn’t see anything because we were drowning our kids in the pool.”

Ready to learn about some more incredibly dickish people? Then check out The 8 Most Shameless Attempts to Cash In On 9/11 and The 6 Most Clueless Assholes To Ever Exploit Tragedies.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/2017/09/11/5-terrible-tragedies-exploited-by-cash-obsessed-a-holes/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/165238661882

[jimdsmith34]

5 Terrible Tragedies Exploited By Cash-Obsessed A-Holes

Everyone loves a good scary movie, but wouldn’t it be great if you were actually living in a scary movie? That’s the business model in play for some luminaries out there, who think you really want to relive some of history’s most horrifying moments. They’re convinced that the tragedy-junkie dollar exists, dammit, and they’re going to get that green, dammit. So what’ve they come up with?

#5. Haunted Houses Based On Real Serial Killers

People who go to haunted houses are getting increasingly jaded — once you’ve chained live, naked actresses to the floor, there aren’t many places to go — apparently prompting the sort of people who design haunted houses to ask themselves, “What about actual murder?”

So, for the last few years, haunted houses have begun reenacting the real murders of notorious serial killers like Jeffrey Dahmer and John Wayne Gacy. One New York production even featured an exhibit of the creepsters’ personal belongings, donated by a murder memorabilia collector who requested to remain anonymous. Let the speculation begin!

It’s always the quiet ones.

If you haven’t cottoned on to what’s wrong with that, here’s a hint: The victims’ families are still alive! And lo, they aren’t thrilled about jump-scare peddlers using deceased loved ones as props. (And at $30 to $60 a ticket, wildly profitable ones.) To really rub it in, some houses are specifically focusing on local killers, just to make absolutely certain that someone will stumble upon their worst nightmare.

For example, a Sacramento house tried to cash in on the local notoriety of Richard Trenton Chase. For those of you who didn’t live through Chase’s serial killing spree, the short version is that he killed six people.

Then he mutilated and ate them.

Among his victims was a pregnant woman whom he shot, killed, stabbed, sexually assaulted, and drank the blood of, in that order. And her husband was the one who found her when Chase was done. So you could imagine the husband’s horror when he found out that 36 years later a local entertainer was selling tickets to staged re-creations of his wife’s murder. The only good news to come out of this story is that the Sacramento house shut down their fun little show when the victims’ grieving families complained.

Also, there’s a warm seat in hell reserved for this newspaper layout editor.

And the only reason the horrific story above is considered “good news” is because Rob Zombie didn’t have the grace to do the same thing after people complained about Rob Zombie’s Great American Nightmare in Chicago, which featured a Gacy room.

When the Gacy victims’ families complained about a haunted house room featuring a clown blowing up balloons while surrounded by child-sized dolls dressed as Boy Scouts, Rob Zombie said he thought the room was “funny.” And in case you’ve forgotten John Wayne Gacy’s shtick, it was raping and murdering at least 33 Chicago-area young men. To be fair, everyone who’s seen his Halloween remakes knows that Rob Zombie is a renowned authority on comedy.

Finally, London recently opened a Jack the Ripper museum that — not even fucking kidding here — initially branded itself as a new “museum of women’s history.” The museum’s press release invited visitors to experience Jack the Ripper’s crimes “through the eyes of the women who were his victims,” by which they meant “take selfies with their mannequin corpses.”

#TransformationTuesday #dead

No, really: “A picture with Jack in Mitre Square together with the body of Catherine Eddowes” was one of the advertised selling points. The museum’s spokesperson insisted that the morbid selfie station was “done in a very respectful way,” and those words somehow didn’t sound like nonsense when he heard them come out of his mouth. In another statement issued by the museum, they explained that they just wanted women to “be able to experience the London of 1888 in the presence of Jack the Ripper.” That’s a good point — where else could a woman ever experience the fear of violence just from walking down the street?

#4. An Annual Nazi-Themed Christmas Party

In 2014, a Minneapolis newspaper received a photo of a literal Nazi party, complete with cheerful swastika flags hung between Christmas lights over a group of men in SS uniforms. The anonymous sender provided no other information, making it seem like a really vague and bizarre threat, but the newspaper’s reporters eventually discovered that it was not, in fact, a Shining-style snapshot of a ghost ball but a group of historical reenactors partying like it’s 1939.

After the local Jewish community issued a call to shut down the event, its organizer made a statement, insisting, “By no means do we glorify the edicts of the Third Reich,” before pulling out the smelling salts in case he got a case of the vapors at the mere suggestion.

“We just like to get drunk and spend the evening heiling, like any fun-loving American.”

This little group just likes to get together for a bit of wholesome Nazi fun every Christmas and hand out swastika T-shirts to the restaurant staff, that’s all. Another partygoer explained, “Because they dress up like Germans from World War II, it’s cool to go to a German restaurant, eat German food, and drink German beer.” Dude, cultural appropriation is not the problem here.

As for why it was necessary to actually hang up Nazi decorations and give out Nazi party favors, they’re, uh … really into method acting? He compares it to “a Star Trek convention but for WWII enthusiasts,” failing to grasp the galaxy-sized difference between those things. He may not win any awards for cultural sensitivity, but he gets first place in self-dug holes.

#3. There Are Two New Titanics In The Works

Apparently, there are people who watch Titanic over and over for reasons other than Leonardo DiCaprio, Kate Winslet, and the furious masturbation they inspire. Indeed, the ship that famously claimed the lives of approximately 1,500 people has enough fans that not one but two actual-size replicas are being built.

One will be a functional cruise ship that its commissioner, Australian billionaire Clive Palmer, fully intends to sail, because some people have no fear of irony. Of course, the construction of Titanic II will comply with modern safety regulations, and it’s set to sail a completely different path. Don’t wanna tempt fate too much.

Crewmen shouting, “Iceberg! 2,500 miles north!” while not exactly in great taste, is a lot more reassuring.

The people building the other replica, however, are actually counting on it sinking. That’s because it will be part of a “6-D” Chinese theme park where people can experience the sinking firsthand with a simulation featuring an orgy of special effects and/or go insane exploring the two dimensions beyond time itself.

The guy funding it excitedly gushed that visitors “will think, ‘The water will drown me; I must escape with my life,'” unwittingly unmasking himself as a robot with no comprehension of the human concept of fun. Aside from the questionable judgment of using a tragedy as the basis for a freaking theme park, what is even the point of a Titanic simulation that doesn’t include Kate Winslet’s nipples?

#2. A Reality TV Show Simulating Life In Nazi Germany

If you could travel back to any time period and experience how people lived in that era, what would you pick? The Ren Faire types might choose Renaissance Europe, the chemistry enthusiasts might choose the ’60s, and so on. That covers both of our readers, which means none of you picked Eastern Europe in the 1940s. Huh, why might that be?

“OK, before we set up the time machine, who votes ‘Hendrix concert’ and who votes ‘Nazi occupied Czechoslovakia’?”

Even though everyone knows what life was like in that particular place and time — to wit, super horrible — that hasn’t stopped those paragons of taste, reality TV producers, from bringing us The Real World: Nazi Europe. It was actually a short-lived series in the Czech Republic called, for serious, Holiday In The Protectorate. There was no time travel involved, just a modern family shut in a house with little food and period-appropriate accommodations while fake Nazi soldiers prowled outside, because they had a really weird idea of leisure.

“You have your Survivor, we have ours.”

The global Jewish community wasn’t impressed, namely because of one tiny anachronism that the director, whose stated goal was “to show life in another era while ensuring the highest level of authenticity,” had absentmindedly overlooked: The very real threat of death, which claimed 82,309 Czech Jews. The greatest danger faced by this family, on the other hand, was a falling stage light. Luckily, that means there was an easy way for the producers to make everyone happy: Just abduct one member of the household every week, never to be seen by their family again. For some reason, they went in a different direction.

#1. 9/11 And Trayvon Martin VR Games

It’s not a mind-blowing revelation that people like to play video games to live out fantasies, the most famous of which is pretending to be an Italian man who’s addicted to psilocybin and tortoise murder. There are also all kinds of Counter-Strike maps that allow you to play out real events, like the Boston Bombing and the standoff at the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge. They’re taking some pretty massive liberties with the facts, however. For example, the setup for the wildlife refuge includes fictional hostages the terrorists never took.

Apparently, long diatribes about the Bureau of Land Management don’t really work in a first-person shooter.

We already base most of our shoot-’em-up games on real wars and the like, so that’s only slightly below par for the course. Then there’s the 9/11 virtual reality game.

The plot? You’re not making a mad dash for survival. In fact, not dying isn’t even an option. You start out in an office in the North Tower, where you receive a few commands to fetch files for your boss and things like that, but once the first plane strikes, you just go where the game takes you. Where it takes you, in fact, is to the office of a stranger who quickly becomes so distraught that he jumps out the window. Then you watch your boss call her mom to say goodbye before you both suffocate from the smoke.

That’s it. Just 10 minutes of watching people cry, and then you die. It’s bleak as shit.

In terms of sheer pointlessness, though, the winner is — no, seriously — the VR reenactment of the shooting of Trayvon Martin. The experience is reconstructed from the 911 calls placed by George Zimmerman and, later, members of the community from inside their homes. So that’s the viewpoint we take. It’s literally just a bunch of people on the phone in their living rooms. We never see or hear anything of the actual shooting except for a flash of gunfire and the boy’s real screams for help. The designers insist that reenactments like these could be helpful to investigators, but failed to explain how animated phone calls starring the goddamn Sims tells anybody anything.

“We didn’t see anything because we were drowning our kids in the pool.”

Ready to learn about some more incredibly dickish people? Then check out The 8 Most Shameless Attempts to Cash In On 9/11 and The 6 Most Clueless Assholes To Ever Exploit Tragedies.

source http://allofbeer.com/2017/09/11/5-terrible-tragedies-exploited-by-cash-obsessed-a-holes/ from All of Beer http://allofbeer.blogspot.com/2017/09/5-terrible-tragedies-exploited-by-cash.html