#you know when someone jokes about something so much you start thinking maybe it aint a joke?

[heavenknowsffs]

Wtf bro

[banalhorrors]

There is an angel in my town. He’s here on a visit, ‘a work trip’ he called it over dinner at Mike’s house. He ate twice as much as the rest of us and told us the exact number of bricks in the walls (5,340). Mike wouldn’t tell us where he met him but the two of them kept making jokes about rummaging through antiques together. I was warming up to him, so after a few beers I asked him where I could find the thing that would make me the happiest. He stared at me for longer than I wanted and when he answered he sounded unsure. He laid it all out for me, with lots of stumbling sentences, and I sat there feeling like my cat had died and it was time to call someone to deal with the body cuz I didn’t have anywhere to bury her, I live on the 3rd floor, but after a minute he told me it’d probably be best not to think about it again, and since then I haven’t been able to. He said he’d never seen one like me before, but that he hadn’t seen one like anyone else before either so he didn’t really know why he was still surprised. I asked if he gets that question often and he chuckled and said “once they know, they always want to ask. Different questions, but same gist, really. Plenty of times they don't ask, but I always check anyway, just to be polite.” He took another small sip of his beer that I wasn't sure he was really drinking. Sitting in Mike’s old armchair crammed in the corner of the kitchen, he looked too big for the room, and most people probably would in that spot, but it feels different when it's an angel. “Must be a lot of work, knowing so much.” I told him, and he nodded and seemed to think about it before he said, “I dunno, I’ve never known anything else.” “But you can look in people’s heads, you can look into the truth of things, don’t you know everything else?” And he said “well sure, but it aint the same as living it.” and that’s about when Charlie announced there were skunks passing through the backyard and we should go take a look at the babies. I got up to see ‘em, maybe get some pictures, and when I got back he’d moved off to talk with Mike about something quiet in the other room. I figured it was probably personal cuz I could see him starting to glow faintly blue like a stove top flame. I didn’t talk to him for the rest of the night besides goodbyes, but I know he’ll be around again next Tuesday before he leaves town. I’m thinking of bringing board games, I’d like to see how an angel acts when he’s losing at trivial pursuit. 

[lifewiththelulus]

This is how I imagine that conversation starts XD

Kindlin stopping by the flower shop to ask plume a bunch of questions randomly XD She gonna do her research "What do you like to eat? Do you need constant heat like fire? What can make you sick?" She hopes what she's doing isn't super obvious but she doesn't know who else to ask questions lol

He's more than happy to help if not slightly exasperated with her attempts to seem casual. He's more than aware of how unlikely it was he even exists so he wants the best for them too. He likes drawing with charcoal but it doubles as a snack. A new meaning to chewing on your pencil. There's some questions he has to brave hearing his parents embarrassing stories to answer. It's not that they weren't friends before but she knows significantly less about him than Hazel and Mimi so all of a sudden her trying to get his help is like "well if it isn't my favorite element who is always so helpful to his friends what's up bro"

Lmao yeah XD Shes like "heyyyyy what's up buddy, one of my favorite florists! How ya dooiiin?"

i can imagine how elated flint and misty are to see another pair like them flourishing

Lol I can only imagine her face when she realizes they know what she's up to

Misty gives kindlin a personal line on one of their business cards. "Please call us if you need anything" wink

She's just bows her head in embarrassment and nods, though she's happy to have someone with some sort of guidance in this area. How'd they meet tho Did plume tell them about the fire girl bothering him with weird questions? Lol

Well once plume started going to them about the questions he couldn't answer they were more than a little curious why

Cirrus would go to Flint to ask for advice on how to be ready once her wife is pregnant.

"heh there's never really a playbook for elements like us who are crazy enough to break the barrier. Much as we've tried. For us we'd ended up believing it would never happen so when it did I can tell you I nearly had a flare up. Feels like a rollercoaster but what I can tell you is to trust your instincts and never doubt each other. Oh and get plastic covers for literally everything you own you'll have soot everywhere in no time flat ha".

Cirrus: Oh… well thank you, sir, I'm happy that you could share that with me but when I said "If she does get pregnant what should I do." I meant more in the sense of how to make Kindlin comfortable, like should I expect cravings, will she need help getting up? ^^; She feels so bad for ruining that moment after he shared something so personal XD

He might put on a lot of bravado but he's very easy to fluster. " ah well you'll have to forgive this old man and his waxing poetic. I'm not quite sure how it'll translate after all I didn't actually have the baby thank the blue flame" practically slaps his knee at his own jokes. "But Misty I recall could hardly eat anything she used too. She started wanting the stuff I had imported from home. Maybe plume just wanted something more fire, who knows. She never felt cold enough nearly blew away one day when she put on a dozen fans in the office."

"my own mom used to tell me it was like have a lump of coal weighing you down all day so I'd imagine your wife will need some extra attention towards the end. And not to gross you out young lady but well, you must be sure you know exactly when the babies coming because a water break aint so bad but a lava one, now that could cost ya in repairs. "

Cirrus: That last one will definitely be a big help, I'm not sure what I'm going to do about the food situation though, Kindlin can't eat our food, It evaporates as soon as it gets close to her mouth.

"when you get to be as old as I am you realize you can eat just about anything if you throw it in a blender first hehe. Whenever A few times Misty wanted me to try something I tried mixing it with my lava java. Not perfect but hey"

Cirrus: Huh. Blending… I think that might just work. Um… I do have one more question though. It's silly to think about but I can't help but worry… what if they don't like me?

His face softens with the kind of knowing only a parent can have "you know with plume, I was sure I would end up like my parents, that Id push him away and he'd know it somehow even as a little puff of smoke. But I tell you once you actually lay eyes on em, it won't matter, even if they hated you you know youd do anything for em. But if it means anything to you the fact that you even worry about it tells me there's no way they won't love you. I think they have a way of knowing"

[hihellogoodbyebruh]

I Know What You’re Thinking, You’re On My Mind (You’re Right)

Pairing: Angel Reyes x Black!Plus Size!Reader

Summary: Y/N and Angel are in love and these are different moments in the span of their relationship.

Warning(s): Just a lot of fluffy goodness....okay some angst (it’s me lol) but mostly fluff

Word count: 2,526

AN: This is kind of a songfic, but also not really? I think of it as a bunch of drabbles loosely connected by random parts of a song. Song title and inspo from Come Close by Common ft. Mary J. Blige. The sweetest little fic I’ve ever written. Fat Black girls deserve to be loved loudly. This is for us. As always, questions, comments, and concerns are welcomed. Happy reading lovelies! xo

Smile, happiness, you could model it And when you feel opposite I just want you to know Your whole, being is beautiful I'ma do the best I can do Cause I'm my best when I'm with you

The sound of a domino being slammed on the table caused several other park goers to turn their heads and see a striking woman jumping out of her seat.

“That’s domino bitches! Y’all really thought you could beat me in dominoes? Shoulda checked my credentials mofos!” Y/N shouted, a huge smile on her face as she talked shit.

The guys around the table all groaned and huffed as she celebrated her win. Coco swore up and down that he would be the winner and Gilly was just as sure that he would be the one. EZ just wanted to play and Angel kept his mouth shut knowing his girl had been playing dominoes with her father and uncles practically all her life.

“Whatever, Y/N. You not seeing me in poker.” Coco grumbled, though he was fighting to keep a smile off his face. He was impressed.

“Well this aint poker is it? Run me my money.” She replied, rubbing her fingers together before holding out her hand.

The men all pulled out their wallets and placed the correct amount of money into Y/N’s hands. She grinned as she fanned herself with the money before draping her body across the smirking Angel’s lap.

“Oh hey there sexy. If you’re nice I might buy you something with this considerable fortune I just won.” Y/N winked.

“You my sugar mama now?” Angel teasingly asked.

“I do taste sweet so I think I fit the description.”

“Damn right you do.” He smirked, before leaning down to kiss Y/N’s lips.

Santo Padre’s mayor, Antonia Pena, had put together a community fair to help raise money for the town and uplift spirits. It was also a great way for local businesses to showcase what they have to offer. Services and items were put into a raffle that everyone who attended the event got entered into. Y/N even managed to convince Felipe to have a little booth to show off his fine cuts of meat and how they could best be used in meals.

Angel was so in awe of her. She managed to pull even his grumpy ass father out of the house and she was constantly a source of light in his life. He doesn’t know how he got so lucky, but he knew he never wanted to let her go. He loved her more than anything and he knew she felt the same about him. She never doubted him or made him feel inadequate. She understood even the ugly parts of him. Didn’t excuse or condone his behavior, but she understood it and always reassured him that she knew he could do better.

“Whatchu staring at?” She asked, after the kiss ended and he kept his intense gaze on her.

“My whole world.” He answered honestly and she felt herself get a little emotional.

“If you make me cry in public, I will hurt you.”

“Don’t threaten me with a good time.” He replied, nipping at her shoulder and making her grin.

I know in the past, love Has been sort of hard on you But I see the God in you I just want to nurture it Though this love may hurt a bit

Neither of them had the best track record when it came to relationships. Angel had an awful habit of doing things without thinking about the consequences of his actions. Impulsive isn’t a strong enough word to describe how he is. He runs on emotion a lot of the time. It frustrates Y/N to no end. She doesn’t operate like that. She rarely if ever acts on impulse. She thinks too much. Worries too much about how people will react to her and her actions. Her hesitance to engage in things before she’s run every possible scenario through her head makes Angel want to pull his hair out. He hates seeing her unsure of herself. He makes it his mission to help her just get lost in the moment sometimes. And she tries her hardest to slow him down and make him think more on things before he acts.

His lifestyle also guaranteed their love won’t always be sunshine and roses. The first time Angel got hurt Y/N thought she was going to pass out. The level of panic and fear she felt almost took her down. When she finally got to see him in the hospital bed, she burst into tears. Once he was healed, she tried to pull away from him but he wouldn’t let her. The one time Y/N was verbally and physically accosted in front of Angel, he almost shot someone right in front of her. The need to protect her almost overrode his need to keep her away from the more violent side of himself.

The silence was deafening. Neither one was ready to take the first step and speak. The whole ride back home, Y/N never said a word. Not when Angel was getting chewed out by Bishop or when several people practically gawked at her even as they tried to make it seem like they weren’t. She was silent as she went through her nightly routine and prepared for bed.

It was as she sat on the edge of the bed, preparing to slide under the covers that Angel finally snapped.

“You’re really not gonna fucking say anything?” He practically growled at her, glaring at her from where he stood at the foot of the bed. He had on his usual sleepwear of a tank top and sweats.

She sighed, “What do you want me to say Angel?”

“Anything. Cuss me out, kiss me, or I don’t know, maybe thank me?” He suggested, sarcasm in his voice at the last part because he was clearly exasperated.

She cut her eyes at him fiercely. “Thank you? You want me to thank you?”

“Yes.” He stubbornly confirmed.

She shot up from the bed and spun to face him full on. She had never been so mad at him. “Thank you Angel for causing a bigger scene. Thank you Angel for almost igniting a war between two gangs over one stupid joke. Thank you for putting yourself in harm's way and almost giving me a heart attack. Thank you so much Angel.”

“That’s bullshit and you know it. It wasn’t just a stupid joke. You think I care so little about you that I wouldn’t fuck someone up for you?”

“I’ve heard way worse..” She argued, so used to minimizing her pain. Her dismissal of the incident as something trivial made him even more pissed.

“I don’t give a damn what you heard. Aint nobody gonna disrespect you in front of me and think I’m just gonna let that shit slide.”

“You could have killed him.”

“I DON’T GIVE A FUCK.” He exploded, making her freeze and stare at him with her mouth slightly open. “You’re mine. I don’t know what kinda cowards you been dealing with before, but I don’t play that shit. There is no joking when it comes to you. Not from some hijo de puta who has the audacity to put his hands on you. He’s lucky the only thing I did was bust him in the head with my pistol.”

“Angel…..” She sighed, her eyes closing as she took in his words. She understood his point but was still uncomfortable with the methods.

He walked over to her and cupped her face in his hands. He kissed her forehead before resting his head on hers. He spoke only after she opened her eyes, “You can be mad. I already know you are, but I’m not apologizing for protecting you.”

She had to get used to being loved and protected so adamantly by someone. So often left to comfort herself and bury her hurt, it took her a while to accept Angel’s form of protection. A part of her kept her guard up waiting for him to turn it against her, but that day never came. Any violent outbursts he had in her presence were never directed at her and so she found herself trusting him whole-heartedly. Her love for him deepened as time moved forward.

You helped me to discover me I just want you to put trust in me

Y/N loved Pops and she enjoyed the family dinners with him and EZ, but she knew he was not the perfect father. He made mistakes and Angel still hasn’t completely dealt with the issues the mistakes left him with. Everything just got buried. She knew when he was starting to feel inadequate or like he didn’t deserve her because he would become even more clingy. He was already very affectionate with her, always having a hand on her back and kissing her head. She loved how open he was, but when he was going through it the touches would have a desperate edge to them. Like he was trying to prove something.

A new episode of Joseline’s Cabaret played on the tv showing off the Puerto Rican Princess’ latest antics. Y/N had on sweats and a tank top as she laid on your back and giggled at the fight on her screen. She doesn't know why she watches that show, but it was entertaining.

Her front door opened and in walked the man she’d been seeing for a year now.

“What did I tell you about leaving this door unlocked?”

“I knew you were coming over so why would I lock it?” She argued, tilting her head back to watch Angel toe off his shoes and take off his kutte.

“You’re so hard headed.” He slapped the outside of her thigh and leaned in for a kiss before lying in between her legs. His head rested on her stomach and her hands immediately began running through his hair. His hands ran over her thighs as he buried his face in her belly and just breathed her in.

“You walked right in so obviously I was right.” Her hands moved from his hair to slide down his back, feeling for any new bruises. “How was your day? Do I gotta kick someone’s ass for messing with my man?” She asked, a teasing tone to her words even though she was kinda being serious.

“I’m all good, mi dulce.” He responded, already knowing her touches were to comfort him but also give herself some peace of mind that he was with her and he was still whole.

It was quiet for a moment before Angel propped his chin on her belly and looked at her. She brought her attention from the television to him. There was a gentle look in his eyes, full of love but also a vulnerability that made her heart clench.

“You love me right?” He gripped her hips tightly as he searched her eyes for the truth in her words.

Her eyes widened at his question. “Of cour-”

He interrupted her. “Because I love you so damn much, querida. I know I’m not easy, but I try to be better for you.”

“Angel…” Her hand gently caressed his cheek as she softly smiled at him. “You are my favorite person in this whole world. You love me like no other and I’ll always love you. Never forget that. And when you do, I’ll be here to remind you.” She leaned forward to kiss his lips and felt his grip on her hips loosen.

The two shared loving kisses for several minutes before he pulled away and kissed her stomach before laying his head back down. His attention finally focused on the television. “What the fuck are you watching?”

She was unable to contain her giggles.

I kind of laugh when you cuss at me The aftermath is you touching me

“Oh, is that funny? Are you enjoying yourself?”

“Not at all gorgeous.” His words and his facial expression did not match.

“Then why are you smirking? I’m as serious as a heart attack. If you miss the ceremony where I’m awarded for my work, we’re gonna have some big problems Reyes.” She threatened, not letting that smirk get to her as it usually did. The club pulled him away a lot but some things she just needed him present for.

“Mmhm…how big?” He asked, still joking around.

“Angel!” She admonished, striking out to punch him in the stomach and making him grunt.

“You know I love when you scream my name. Sexy as fuck.” He growled, before playfully tackling her to the bed. She finally laughed as he kissed and nipped at her neck. He pulled back to look down in her eyes. “Hey, come hell or high water Imma be there. I wouldn’t miss it for anything.”

The smile she flashed him was bright enough to light the darkest of nights.

I'm tired of the fast lane I want you to have my last name

Dabbing her eyes with a napkin, Y/N smiled as Angel and EZ shared a heartfelt hug after the best man speech. She knew EZ’s speech would be beautiful and she thanked him for his kind words.

“You’re my sister for real now.” He responded, making her wanna cry again but she gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before Angel pulled her into a side hug.

“First dance time.” He whispered in her ear, taking her hand and leading her out to the dance floor.

“How does it feel to be Y/N Reyes?” Angel asked, his eyes taking her in. She looked so magnificent in her wedding dress. He wanted to rip it off, but also he couldn’t take his eyes off how good she looked in it. If he shed some tears when she walked down that aisle, who could blame him?

“It feels like the most natural thing in the world. I’m so beyond honored to be Mrs. Angel Reyes.” She responded, her eyes filling with happy tears but she refused to let them fall. She just felt so overwhelmed with happiness. Even though he’d long gotten rid of the jacket, she loved that he actually wore a suit. He hardly ever wore one and it was a damn shame. He looked so delicious she couldn’t wait for them to get back home.

Y/N found herself really taking the moment in. Their family and friends watched them with huge smiles on their faces. She couldn’t keep her eyes off Angel for long as he held her in his arms, his hands always making her feel safe. This was her life and he was her future.

Her eyes twinkled as she asked him, “Ready for forever?”

Come close to me, baby (Yeah, love) Let your love hold you (Let me hold you tonight, babe) I know this world is crazy (It gets crazy, but I'll be right here) What's it without you? (We gon' make it, I love you, I love you, I love you)

[theficplug]

Taking Erik To The Beauty Supply Store 2 / Barber Shop With Erik

Erik Killmonger x Black Reader

Warnings : mature/sexual conversations?

it's a regular day in the stevens household. going to the beauty supply store again & the barber shop but hey it's fun cause it's you and your man.

First taking Erik to the beauty supply store fic:

“I could beat the brake off her lying ass. First of all, I should’ve known something was up cause she asked me if I’m natural. I said yes. She said well I normally do relaxed hair.. Then said you got to have your hair washed and blow dried already… Talking about she was going to have me serving 90s Nia Long. This bitch got me looking like big momma when she came home for that motherfucking party.” You continue your rant as Erik moves around the room looking for your body butter and your fluffy shoes to put on for the day.

You wanted a cute 90s pixie cut to go along with the theme of the maternity shoot which was like the cheesy 90s mall style set with the faded backdrop.

180 dollars and a lopsided , almost a golden bob later and you are still thinking about snatching her out of that salon.

“I’m gonna try and trim it up myself and dye it before the maternity photos tomorrow. But I’mma get two wigs just in case I mess up.” You explain to Erik as he begins to spread the body butter up your legs leaving a golden glow on your skin.

“Not you down there cackling after getting some hang time on the locs you been growing since high school... It’s quiet, ain't no back talk.” You banter with him and he stops massaging your legs to give you a look and laughs softly before giving you a retort of his own.

“You got a lot to say for somebody that can’t even lotion they ashy lil knees.”

“Your daughter been pushing against my organs for 8 and a half months. I don’t wanna hear nothing unless its about my push present. You know that I like rings… My engagement ring looking reeeealll lonely.” you say to him as you dangle your hand in front of his face.

“You look so fucking good today baby… Say, Big Fine, lemme get your number… I’mma eat the f-” he trails off kissing your legs and letting his tongue trail up it and you grab his chin softly.

“Boy if you don’t come on before you be late for your appointment… Can I stop and get a blue raspberry slushie first though?” you ask him and he sighs softly before giving you a small smile and nodding.

“Yeah, hold on let me grab your shoes and purse and then we can go.”

“And obviously yes when we come back before I install that lace front you can beat, duh.” you reply to him before giving him a peck to his lips.

After he grabs everything and helps you down the stairs. And with his help of putting you into his big ass truck you two are on your way.

“We’re going to get my hair cut first cause I already know you’re going to want to go to 2 different stores and it’s only gon’ take him about 15 minutes at the most to line me up.”

He wasn’t lying with the way that you liked to scan every section of the store before you left because to be honest where else were you going to get a pair of skittle shorts, bomb ass lip glosses, and a cute little panda hand sanitizer holder all in one place?

“Okay, sounds like a plan.. The way that I was supposed to have a hot girl summer this year and ended up with a damn its too hot for me to even put my clothes on mom summer. You really were not playing about trying to start a family on your birthday.” you joke as you crunch on your goldfish and look over at Erik.

“I think you just got finer through this whole thing. Watching my baby grow my baby is something surreal. In the beginning watching you go through all of the morning sickness and the body aches and stuff. I felt so bad you know not being able to physically take on all that was going on with you. I aint gon’ never not be appreciative and awe of you.” Erik replies with a serious comment that you were not expecting and you’d be damned if the hormones aren’t doing their thing.

“I really did not expect you to say that. Baabbbee, come on. You know I cry about everything right now. Love you.” you lean over to wrap your arms around him gently and kiss the side of his face while he’s focusing on the road.

“I love you too…. I think I’mma get my locs cut off soon. I don’t know why I’m ready to get a fade and just call it a day.” he questions before looking over at you briefly

“Either way you still gonna look good. I knew you before you even got your locs so you’re gonna look even better now because you grew into your head. Dee be cutting the fuck outta your hair even though he been bald for a good 40 years.” you say and it causes Erik to let out a loud laugh and shake his head.

You eventually ended up ordering a blue raspberry lemonade slushie, a hotdog and fries because Sonic basically took all of Erik's money at this point in your pregnancy.

The rest of your ride was chill as you both swayed to the music or turned it down for a little chat every now and then.

In public was always very protective of you but especially since becoming pregnant he has been hovering over you like a lion waiting for someone to even look at you for too long.

He hops out of the sleek matte black truck first to help you out and sling his arm around your waist with a hand resting on your belly.

You feel some eyes on you as you walk through the door. Your multi-coloured sundress that showcased your back, flowing with you.

Some of the men, new to the shop you assumed, were eyeing you down before Erik looked over their way and nods at them and they pretended to check their phones.

“What's up E? Damn lil sis look like she’s about to pop! How you feeling baby girl?” Dee greets you and Erik as you both walk in and some of the regulars in there say hey to the both of you.

“I’m alright Dee. Baby is just really ready to see the world. She has been kicking up a storm at times. I think we might have a little athlete here.” you reply and you watch as the greyed man with freckles across his cheeks and bridge of his nose eyes crinkle as he finishes cutting the man's hair sitting in the chair.

“I remember when I became a father for the first time. Shits wild because you think that you know everything there is to know and then when you actually see your baby take that first breath. It’s like nothing you’ve ever experienced before.” He continues as he shows you a photo of his 4 children and you give him a small smile.

“Ooh, they’re beautiful.” you compliment him as you settle into your seat and scroll on your phone on your phone waiting for Erik to be next.

Some time went by and the men seemed like they were trying to keep their conversation in a hush and you can see some eyes on you as they talked back and forth.

“I’m just saying if you want a threesome with your girl and you expect her to be okay with letting another woman into her bed. You need to match her energy. Could you imagine your girl asking you to bring a whole nother man into your room if that’s not what you’re into? Instead of asking for it. Maybe try bringing toys into the situation. Could spice it up a notch and be in both of your comfort zones. Personally, couples vibrators seem to do the trick just fine.” You advise as you look up from scrolling on your Pinterest feed.

The little huddle of them in front of you stopped talking and immediately looked up at you in silence before Dee’s laugh broke it.

“I don’t know about bringing another man in. That ain't my thing but I get what you're saying. Which ones would you recommend?” The one named Leron asked and you notice Erik is now paying attention , looking from you to them to make sure they stay respectful.

“You better let them know , baby girl! That’s how that baby popped into fruition. She got you with the tantric breathing, huh E?” he jokes and Erik cracks into a smile, his golds gleaming as he looks at you.

“She not wrong. Engage in what your woman like too. Yoga, talking during sex, giving as much as you receive from her, all that. ” He says casually and shrugging and you give him a small smile cause this man done come so far from when you met him.

After he finishes lining up his beard, Erik pays and you’re on your way to one of your favourite places.

“You look so sexy. Your beard is all lined up crisp and stuff. I told you that beard oil was gonna even it out.” you say to him and kiss him below his ear . His hand gripped your thigh gently and you repeated it again.

It didn’t take long before you were at one of your favourite places.

You turned to Erik and asked him to buy a stocking cap for you to try on the wigs that you liked and wanted to see before you purchased it.

You slid on the stocking cap over your hair before grabbing a cute little 27 piece pixie cut wig just to try it on and see what it was giving . You finger combed it and turned to Erik to ask him how it looks.

“Like you finna start singing “Truth is i’m tired. Take me to the king. Here’s my offering-” .” You hold in your laugh as you push Erik’s chest and he grabs your hands.

“I can’t stand your ass !” You say cracking up and Erik grabs the stocking cap from his pocket that he brought himself and slides it over his locs.

You watch as he grabs one of the bobs from the mannequin and sits it half cocked on his head before shaking it side to side.

“What’s cooler than being cool? Ice cold. You know what to do doooo. You know what to doooo.... This is your grand daddy. This is your grand daddy.” Erik starts acting like Andre 3000 and Mr. Brown. You swear this man was gonna make you push out this baby with how hard you were laughing at him.

“Why are you moving your lips like thaaat? What’s your name? B.O.B, so they calling you Bob? Stop playing nigga you know that I’m known for the bob.” you sing the nicki minaj lyrics to him and both of y’all get a good laugh before he takes off the wig and places it carefully back on the mannequin.

He looks over at the one that looked the most like your hair before you got it cut and slides it on.

His expressions changed and he narrowed his eyes at you before putting his hand on his stomach.

“Whew, my god E. You did this to me and for what? My ankles looking like cornbread huh? Look at this shit bae! If my nose swells for real in these next months, we fighting. Damn, I’m getting thick. I look like I'm pregnant in the front and the back. Can you get me two shrimp po’boys and some fries on the way home? ERIK, wake up- You our baby look like Stitch in this ultrasound? Stop playing , im for real.” he sounds exactly like you and mimicked your expressions to a t.

You giggled softly and snatched his wig off leaving him standing there looking crazy in the cap.

“You wanna fight?” You ask him before walking up on him like you’re on bad girls club and swinging the wig at him.

He helped you put the wig back on the mannequin and kissed both of your hands before continuing through the aisle with you.

You both ignored how many times the employee passed by or watched you as you grabbed some of the products from the shelf and put it into your little cart that you wanted to try.

“You wish this was you, huh? You wanted to be Future from 8 Mile so bad, huh? ” you ask Erik , laughing as you point to the full lace faux locs wig that’s in front of you and he shakes his head.

“She got you down bad. This you?” he asks you as he points to the lil gold church wig that’s sitting on the top shelf and you suck your teeth at him .

“You wanna dip dye your hair for tomorrow? A pretty auburn colour would look so good on you or even a baby blue?” You ask him as you move away from the wigs after deciding to put a off black lace front straight wig in your cart and another in sandy blonde with deep waves.

You scan the shelf of dye as Erik wraps his arm around your waist and takes a look.

“This one looks good right here.” He adds as he hands you a colour called Electric Blue.

“This is gonna look so good on you bae.” You compliment him and he leans down to kiss you softly.

“You only tryna compliment me cause you want me to help you install that wig. You think you slick bae.” he calls as he walks off towards the hair care products for his locs.

“Well, if I’m finna use the little energy I have to retwist your hair you could at least extend the helping hand!” You call after him.

“I haven’t tried peppermint oil yet but it should be good to add to my mix? Look, I found this small ass bonnet. She’s gonna be able to match us.” He says walking back to you and showing you the lilac bonnet in his hand and you swear you were about to tear up again cause all 3 of you were gonna have matching bonnets and durag.

“If she takes after both of us she’s gonna have a head full of hair. To cover that melon from your side.” You tease him

“Come on and grab your butterfly wings for your eyes so we can go home and finish our show. I’mma cook them snow crabs for you too.” he says to you and you can see him watching you like you hung the moon in the sky yourself as you venture off.

You grabbed the edge control, lashes, a new lipstick, earrings, glosses, Got2b spray, and some accessories for Erik’s hair before meeting him at the counter.

It took him all of two seconds to pay for your beauty supply store addiction and you were off on your way back to the crib to love on him.

Erik was currently standing behind you while you sat in the chair in his old large tshirt and held down the wig to the Ghost Bond glue.

You were talking him through helping you finish the install because you just didn't have the energy to do it.

“Okay you gon’ take a lil piece and wrap it around the wand. But please be careful baby. This one goes from like 0 to a 400 degrees so fast.” you warn and watch in the mirror as he takes the first piece and follows your instructions.

You watch him for a while focusing on your head and asking if you liked the way that it’s turning out. You smile softly at him and nod.

“I'm so grateful , you know. “ you say to him with a pout

“Damn, I was just about to send you a do you like me back yes or no text after this too.” he jokes and you shake your head.

“I’m tryna be serious and appreciate you-” you are cut off by him leaning down and pushing his plump lips out for a kiss from you

“I love you too. 2 more weeks and I get to have my two babies in my arms. What more could I want? ”

Tag list: @doublesidedscoobysnacks

@chaneajoyyy

@mirandkimy

@doitforthevine67

@dasia21

@depressionandfandomsinc

@wholelotta-melanin

@theesotericqueen

@mbakuwife

@spookys-girl

@teardropzih

@bigchoose

@ceo-of-baby

@sweetpeachjones

@lost-ssoull

@shyblackgurl

@nijajoha

@imayhavemisunderstood

(Long post. Sorry I'm still learning how to do the read more thing! Sorry for being gone from here for so long. This one really helped me ease back into writing especially after how much love the first one received!)

[miami2k17]

hi! how is it going? you said that your gsect epiphany was connected with my sister lover which is of course super cool and valid

but I think it is lock all the doors that spilled all the tea. like I even tried to interpret it in another way, like it is about some girl or whatever

it doesn't fit at all. ok, maybe some girl noel used to love might have had a star shaped tambo, but what all this "forbidden feeling vibe" for? like chill man no one is going to condemn or kill you if they found out that you are having sex with your gf lmao

long story short I really want you to elaborate on this issue. thanks xx

bestieee ive been saving this one for whenever i had the time and now im stuck in the house cuz miss rona finally got me soo 😚

lock all the doors is super interesting! its a song that's been with him for a very long time and one that, at least in its most recent iteration, he likes enough to at least put it on his best of comp.

i think where u gotta start with this ✋🤨 is to look at the original demo from 1992 (or 93? ive seen people say both. either way very very early oasis.) that originally sat unused until 96 or 97 when noel took p much everything but the chorus, wrote the monstrosity that is my sister lover around it, and set that loose into the world. lock all the doors was the same situation but opposite parts and 20 years later. BUT if you ignore my sister lover existing for a second. ik it's hard but hear me out. i think the original lock all the doors was incredibly revealing just as it was. before he wrote the absolutely ham handed chorus that is "you're my lover, i'm your brother", the 2 parts meshed together really well in that original demo i think. they have a very similar vibe abt like. something secret! about not wanting to be discovered. "you never notice you are blind/the dream i have can never be" v similar vibe of not wanting to be seen/noticed, or having something that must be kept secret, and knowing it will only ever be this way, you can't ever have more. and then the lock all the doors chorus brings that theme of like. escapism and running from everyone's view to be alone together in hiding. i think they fit super well together.

but anyways this aint about the demo or my sister lover and i kno ppl have discussed those to death there's really nothing else to be said about my sister lover besides. god what an incredibly bizarre song. i want to force him to acknowledge it at least once and explain. it's like a personal fantasy. anyways

lock all the doors (2015 ☝️😐) is very inchersting cuz why would he be taking lyrics about that feeling of being with someone and having to hide it away or keep it secret and reworking them to release so many years after that time had passed? i know he'll still release a song if it's good even if it's about something that isnt really relevant anymore but this one is weird because he clearly wrote new and Liam Centric lyrics just for it, that many years afterward,

like OBVIOUSLY we all kno "she wore a star shaped tambourine/prettiest girl i'd ever seen", it haunts me every waking moment, rent free etc etc. noel taking a song he wrote the chorus for when liam actually had that tambourine, and then writing that version of liam into the song like 22 years later im SICK. i do not need to mention just how many times noel made jokes about liam being a girl, wishing liam was a girl, wishing he had a sister instead. not even gonna get into that cuz that is its entire own insanity deep dive. but 🤔 makes u think !

"i tried to catch her every night/dancing on the road in her candlelight/but i can't seem to reach her anymore" babeee ur longing and loneliness is showing! this paired with the opening line of the song, and ALSO knowing just how old this song is, really makes me feel like he's longing for a past version of liam or even how they used to be together. it's just filled with nostalgia to me. he's trying, or did try, to reach that past version of liam and how they used to be but it just wasn't the same and they couldn't connect the same way anymore and he's still longing for it.

thinking about noel writing this chorus when he did in the early 90's is so 🥺. it's such a desperate wish for something that you couldn't ever hope to have in any real sense. you just aren't allowed. but sometimes love doesn't work that way and it's so incredibly sad for that reason lol. every time he writes about that wish to escape the world's view with someone and just be with them, alone together, it kills me. it's so sad :(

i think either this chorus was simply just good enough for him to reuse all those years later or, i would imagine to some degree even after all that time you would still wish for a perfect world where you could escape and hide away together and never be found. since that's essentially what caused 80% of the problems in the first place. again i think it's brought back up by nostalgia and a wish for things to be how they used to be. even if they were hiding and only together in secret behind locked doors with the lights off, at least they were together.

also i think the side by side of growing up sharing a bedroom with your brother, falling in love with him probably in said bedroom, and then writing a song about locking doors and getting down on the floor is very inchersting. makes me wonder if their door had a lock 🤔

this is where it gets juicy! and yes i had to edit this bc genius had the wrong lyrics! or at least i think so bc i dont own the album and am pure pissed abt that because i was halfway out of bed to get it and look when i realized i dont even fucking own it! anyways!

this part is super wack to me bc instead of speaking About this person like he has been, he starts speaking directly To them. the "She" he mentions then becomes someone else entirely, i rlly dont wanna go there but you can make your own conclusions. no matter how toxic and terrible it is between them, i don't think anyone will ever understand either of them the way they understand eachother so i get why he wrote a line like that, "she never hears me when i speak/i gotta find out where that magic sleeps" it doesn't mean he's like pining for liam over his wife or something, i think he's just nostalgic for that level of understanding and being known that he really can't get anywhere else.

"and i can feel you underneath my skin" YESS you are entwined forever neither of you will ever escape the other ur constantly followed by the thought or memory of him and vice versa. pining and longing for somebody to the point where they live so rent free in your head that you can feel them under your skin.

"and if we take our love inside" back to being hidden inside/behind closed doors with someone, because at least you have them at all! i think it's inchersting how noel's common view of his solo career being his ultimate freedom and happiness is contrasted here by a line like "cause i don't wanna sail on the ocean wide/cause we might never live to meet again" which sounds more like loneliness and the fear of him never getting this thing back that he's clearly missing. he obviously knows that they don't have forever if he does plan on fixing that at all. maybe being trapped inside, behind locked doors is better than being all by yourself and alone because at least you're locked in there with the person you love.

i don't think this song, or him bringing it back and releasing it this way, is a real true wish for that at all. more like a fantasy. when you're in a relationship like that for so long i can imagine it becomes a comfort and anything else might seem lonely/overwhelming or make you long for it, even if in hindsight it was much worse. it's just kind of all you know.

anyways yea in conclusion lock all the doors and thinking abt why it was originally written makes me very very sad let there be love etc etc

[wizkiddx]

stop caring

yooo, so this is actually taken out of one of the sort of I guess series-esque things I’ve written, but it kinda just got shit at the end so I've given up and just wanted to post this instead. So sorry if some of the backstory isn't that clear or anything

tomhollandxfamous!reader

Summary: after your break up you bump into tom at a charity event and when shit hits the fan personally for you, someone who understands you is really what you need (angsty!!! maybe a bit of fluff too?)

TW: panic/anxiety attacks + mentions of assault

|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||

3 months. 3 months you’d managed to avoid the boy that had given you the most joy in the previous years. 3 months without your best friend; of even when you’re with company feeling like a part of you was just absent. 

And you had been thriving. Well… that’s what everyone thought. That’s what you tried to portray, because no matter how ‘famous’ or ‘successful’ people perceived you to be - ultimately you were like anyone else. Making your insta pop off after the breakup. And so to the outside world, through the very very small lense of social media life was great. Parties, friends, work. 

You were a woman in demand - in all senses of the word. 

But of course, as is the 21st century world, it was a lie. Instagram showed only snapshots of what can be very long 24 hours in a day. Naturally, a select few obviously knew - your best friend, Y/f/n being one of them. Yet still you were missing that one support, that one person who would drag you back to reality whenever you got too much into your own head. It actually rather annoyed you, how dependent you had got on him, in every part of your life. 

And you really hadn’t expected to see him here today. You’d had your assistant check the guest list, he wasn’t on it. While getting ready, you had avoided all the products that reminded you of him; that soft nude lipstick he loved you in so much; your favourite (exfavourite) earrings. Had you known it, you would have worn these. Just because you knew it would get on his nerves a little bit. Nevertheless here you were, perhaps a little underdressed for the charity dinner in a dress you’d already worn before (because apparently that was a sin in the world of Hollywood). You couldn’t pin point from when, but it was simple yet elegant if you did say so yourself. A dark blue satin dress, that sat off your shoulders in a Bardot style; hugged your waist to accentuate your curves; then flowed outwards down to the floor with a slit up your right leg. It was simple compared to the sequin studded, diamanté jewelled dresses the rest of the women seemed to sport but it made you feel comfortable. 

Besides, that’s what you needed today. This was the first time after the breakup you’d attended a public event without your best friend-turned-assistant-turned-absolute-life-saver. Y/f/n had been the greatest with you all through your life but especially recently, she deserved the break to go back home and see her family. It was a pretty decent excuse too, her cousins wedding, so you were in absolutely no place to complain.

Evidently it just HAD to be this event then, while you were flying solo, that you’d be faced with…well with his face. His fucking gorgeous, perfect and oh so sweet face. 

Just seeing him, just seeing Tom fucking Holland, had the most intense burst of adrenaline course through your veins as you desperately scanned the rest of the room. Looking for an out, an excuse, someone to latch onto for the rest of the night. A distraction even. 

Never one to admit it openly, but really you knew your coping mechanism of the past months had been to sleep with who you wanted. Because the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else right? You knew it was stupid too. Not because of slut shaming or anything ( we aint got no outdated views here), but simply it wasn’t you. It wasn’t a good idea for you. It didn’t fit. 

Tom hadn’t seen you yet, so if you latched onto someone you’d likely be in the clear. So obviously, when your frantic glances landed upon Joe Keery, you literally sighed in relief. Joe was great, stranger things was a bit of a guilty pleasure for you - especially when you were in your trailer and bored. Just due to your line of work, you’d met a couple times, he seemed like decent crack and to you knowledge was single. 

Unsurprisingly then, you almost marched over to Joe, ignoring the slightly shaky feeling in your leg as your hearing seemed to focus completely on the sound of Tom’s bright laugh. 

It was your choice too. You’d chosen to end things. It was on you. Well really, both parties were equally guilty. Tom was the one who had been too tired and highly strung and exhausted to put effort into the relationship. Stupidly though, you were too in love to realise for so long, in doing so draining yourself in the process. The constant flying cross country to see him, when he couldn’t ever return the favour because he was too busy. It was chipping away at you, even if you didn’t notice. It took an intervention by your manager Davey and Y/f/n for you to see things for what they were. To see that Tom didn’t care as much as he used to. 

He tried to fight for it, of course Tom did, because he also truly and deeply loved you. Nonetheless though, it was too late. And that was it. You closed that book and returned it to the library. Something your mind occasionally drifts back to  and you think ‘huh that was a good read’ - yet that is the only space it occupies in your mind. 

OR that’s how it should be. Not you yesterday, comparing everything your date did to Tom and deciding everything was worse. Not you today, seeing him and nearly being floored by the way the suit was tailored to his body oh so exquisitely. Not you now, hearing his bubbly laughter and having to fight your muscles from taking you back into his arms. 

In short, you were highly strung and pining over a boy you’d killed your chance of happiness with. 

Not to blow your own horn, you knew Joe wouldn’t be against having your company for the evening. After all, you were a young, beautiful and upcoming actor. You were ,at the very least, self aware. And so for a good few hours you almost forgot about Toms presence, spending the time before the speeches sharing a ridiculously overpriced bottle of wine (or two) with him. He was funny. He made you laugh, even if he was pushing the limits occasionally and teetering just on the right side of socially acceptable. It was risky and in that moment, with the alcohol in your system, it made him seem more and more of an attractive shag. 

By the time the speeches started you were both overly giggly and had to keep shushing each other as the presenter called for quiet. Inherently, you knew exactly the location of Thomas - who he was sat around; the main he’d had at dinner; the brand of beer he’d been ordering.But that was subconscious. You were here with Joe. 

Under your voices, whilst getting some disapproving looks from the older, more mature, members of your table you and Joe sat through the first boring speech whispering jokes under your breath - making each other clamp their mouth shut to avoid bursting out laughing. Though tipsy, you were very aware of Joe inching closer and closer, while his hand was casually brushing yours or your shoulder or waist more often. You knew this was low, being so blatant in front of Tom. To be quite frank though, should you care? And did he care?

The answer in your head at least, was an almost certain no to both. 

One speech merged into another spent giggling away until Joe did something he didn’t mean. Heck he didn’t even know. His jesting quickly had toppled completely over into absolutely not category. Your brain felt like it was swimming as the name you’d avoided after that incident , almost ten years ago. The flashbacks came thick and fast. You an innocent young actor wanting to make a way in the industry. And him. A powerful, ridiculously important slightly overweight 50 year old with bad breath. That room in the corner of his hotel that you were completely lost in. 

You were going to be sick. 

Somewhere, distantly, you heard Joe saying something… asking you? Asking you if your were good? It was drowned out by a roar in your ears, you jerkily nodded your head. You knew your breathing was jilted, shaky and shallow. You knew your heart was exploding. It actually felt like a heart attack, the way it seemed to be beating as though it were going to break out of your chest. This time you really really needed an out. 

So without any words, leaving a bemused Joe, your chair screeched on the floor as you stood up, garnering the attention of the whole room. The heads literally swivelled to stare at you, judgement clearly there as you frantically half ran to the back of the room, pleading if your head fro the toilet to be nearby. You needed to be away from everyone and safe. 

Thankfully your escaped the room and the beady eyes, locating the bathroom where you threw a cubicle open, shakily locking it before collapsing into the wall in floods of tears, harsh sobs racking your frame as you clutched your hands to your knees and rocked slightly back and fourth. You dress being a full length ballgown was spilling out into the the nearby cubicles and under the door, but presumably you were alone in the loo - not hearing any other signs of life beyond your own sobs. 

This always happened when you had your anxiety attacks. It was like clockwork. Zone out, stop hearing, loose control of breathing, heart starts pounding, make a quick escape to a toilet, cry and then…

Well back before Tom, it had been to throw up. That was the only thing you’d ever found to ground you enough to get your body backorder your own conscious control. It was like a wave of relief after, like the drowning feeling in your lungs had just evaporated away. But the Tom happened. The first time he’d seen you panic he hadn’t a clue what to do either. SO he had just sat with you, not wanting you to be alone in that state and waited. That panic though, had lasted so long that you’d almost made yourself pass out from the hyperventilating. When that had happened, Tom had gone into emergency mode. He had been scared to touch you, in case that made you worse, but when he saw your body going limp he didn’t have a choice. He’d collected you into his arms, with your head against his chest. Being this close to calling an ambulance, the relief Tom felt when your breathing got more and more regular was unparalleled. 

Together, when he had you lying in his bed (recovered, if mortified and exhausted) was when you realised that you hadn’t been sick. And that was because of him. You’d grounded yourself on his heartbeat and breathing, listening to it and making yours sync up. Thats what had saved you that evening. 

Now however, Tom was gone. This was the first panic attack you’d had since he’d been gone. Of course while you were together you were rarely in the same place, even so you’d phone him. But not now. 

This all led to you sat clutching your knees as your mascara dripped down your cheeks as you had to fight to get enough oxygen into your body. You didn’t want to get into that vicious cycle of making yourself ill again. It really hadn’t been healthy.

Who knows how long you were sat there sobbing before you heard the door open and in response you clamped a hand to your mouth trying to stay silent. This irrational fear overcame you as you sat stock still, fearing the footsteps on the marble floor of the fancy function venue. Even the toilets were pretty posh. 

“Y/n?…. It’s-it’s Tom.” Oh. My. Fucking. God. That was all that was going through your brain as you bit you lip - presumably painfully, yet you didn’t really feel pain in your current state.  “Look I saw you leave and I know your on your own tonight… I-I couldn’t leave you on your own if your… well you know.” Everything was going so so fast in your brain, that it actually scared you into stopping crying, so much so you felt your hand flop back down to your side. “…I was waiting outside because I didn’t want to errr you know… but you’ve been 20 minutes so I need to know your good…..okay?”

The boy was too fucking good. And stubborn… he was too stubborn and you knew he wasn’t going to give in. It was also fairly evident that he knew you in here - there was no pretending you didn’t exist. 

“Y/n? Come on you gotta let me know.”

“I’m fine. You-you go.” Only when you spoke was it evident to yourself just how not-okay you really were. Tom just chuckled and spoke again.

“How long have you known me for? That’s just not going to happen is it.” You already knew this, but something about the way he said it made you realise a sad laugh, momentarily making you feel a bit more in control. He seemed to like that response, you heard him bend down and then saw the bottom of his tux as he sat down leaning against your cubicle door.

“Is …is this your first one… since?  You both know what he was talking about. Since you broke up. 

“Uhmm I-“ You swallowed down a fresh rise of nausea, somewhat determined to not throw up when you ex is barely a metre from you. “Yeh I suppose.” In didn’t seem a revelation to Tom, yet he still hummed lowly in response as the room drifted back to silence. 

“You… you wanna try to breath with me?… You don’t have to open the door just…”

Croaking a please in response because this feeling was really blood awful and you wanted it to end, Tom started exaggerating his breathes, as you shakily and eventually managed to start to time it with his. Without thinking, when Tom’s palm snuck half under the door you immediately grabbed and squeezed it - the contact helping to synchronise your body with his. 

It should be an alien feeling after your time apart. But no it felt oh so natural and so very right. 

Once you’d collected yourself and realised how bloody stupid this whole situation was  you withdrew your hand back, loosing the warmth as you shook your head in disapproval of yourself. So very fucking stupid. He was silent for a bit, letting you think things through whilst still sat outside your cubicle. 

“You good now?” You hummed in agreement and you felt Tom’s head fall against the door, looking up to the ceiling. “Want me to go?”

“If you want to” That was met with silence, but a very telling lack of movement that spoke a thousand words.

“You should get out of here… you wanna avoid the trigger again and I mean I know you’re exhausted.” The boy had researched panic disorder and attacks when he found out you suffered with it - he probably knew more of the psychology of it than you, whilst never having any first hand experience of it.  Annoyingly he was right, as per, after attacks you always always slept for hours - it was just a draining process. “I’ll get you a car if you want?…. I’d like to make sure you get back okay if you don’t mind.” With only your cold and empty residual feeling left, his words still managed to ignite a spark of warmth in your chest. 

“I’m not going to ruin your evening Tom.” You tried to refuse even if it was very very forced and very very hopeful he wouldn’t give in. 

“I was having a crappy evening. Sitting in the ladies toilet talking to my ex through a toilet door has actually been the highlight.”He chuckled playfully in a self pitying way, somehow again making you giggle. And so he had you standing on slightly unsteady feet, your black heels held in one hand because no wasn’t the time to put yourself through teetering around on pin needles. The shuffling outside the door meant Tom stood up too - before you unlocked the door and opened it. 

Prior to seeing Tom your eyes locked on the sight of your reflection, in the mirrors above the sinks opposite you. Perhaps the only way to describe it… it was a sight. The shock being in the juxtaposition between the elegant dress, which even having been crumpled on a bathroom floor had somehow managed to survive and still look near the off-the-hanger; but your face? Oh that was a shit show. You’d cried your makeup off almost completely, leaving your face blotchy and shining as well as the ever so telling smudged mascara under your bottom lash line. 

You had to laugh or you’d just start to cry.

“Don’t worry I’ve seen you much worse.” You saw in the reflection as Tom leaned in and whispered in your ear, making your eyes roll and head shake as you looked from him back to you. 

“I look like a paps dream.” Without instruction, Tom bolted into a nearby cubicle, wrapping layers of toilet roll round his hand before offering it to you as a makeshift wipe.

“This is the glamour of Hollywood don’t you know? Wiping your face with bog roll”Thankfully taking it, you offered Tom a thankful smile as he stepped back, giving you space as he leant against another cubicle pillar. Once you finished up blotting your face, Tom had already shrugged off his jacket walking toward you as he offered it out. Tilting your head to the side in a questioning manner Tom just shrugged, saying it’d help avoid the paparazzi just in case. In reality you weren’t so sure, but anyhow you still appreciated the gesture and draped it round your shoulders with a muttering of thanks. 

At this point his phone pinged, the car was outside, so without any words exchanged he led you to the door, checked the hallway was clearly before guided you back to the exit. There didn’t appear to be anybody lurking around, which you were oh so thankful for as you almost threw yourself in to the safety of the blacked out car. Tom followed and you both, almost comically as if scripted, released a sigh in unison as you melted into the seats. That had you chuckling dryly as you sat in silence. 

“You know we can’t move till you say where you’re staying?” Teasing you, Tom shot you that ever mischievous grin that made the blood rush through your skin. After you’d told the driver, the car pulled swiftly out the laibi.

“Did he…did he say something?” Tom’s demeanour had steeled up and you looked questioningly up at him. “Joe… you looked…close.”

“Oh”. You were taken aback. You should have seen this coming to be fair, him asking for the trigger this evening - and yet you were more shocked at his jealousy. How he looked pained to mention Joe by name. “Um no… well sort of…it was a joke. He didn’t mean it but it er…it took me back.” Tom knew your history, he knew what happened all those years ago and he nodded slowly , keeping his eyeline straight ahead. 

“He’s a dick.”

“No he’s not…. He- he was sweet enough . It was all me.”

“What?”

“I pushed myself on him. I-I saw you… I was spooked.” Tom left it to drift back to silence. He had a lot of thinking to do too. 

He’d obviously kept up to date with you. Call it a professional interest. That was the problem being in love with someone when you weren’t allowed to be. But it hurt like hell, especially when he heard what you were doing. Because he knew this wasn’t you. He knew you sleeping around wasn’t going to help you recover - in fact he thought (and quite correctly) it was the opposite. That long term it’d only cause you more and more pain. 

“You know, you don’t have to do this?… I-I know it isn’t you. I’m not insulting or anything I’m… I’m just worried.” You knew he was being truthful . And infuriatingly he was right. Which only made it even more annoying. 

“Why do you care though?” Looking out the window that was all you could think to say. That was your subconscious talking as you didn’t really want the answer. Or you desperately did but you knew it’d be hard to get over. 

“Y/n” He sighed, making you look across at him “I’ve not stopped caring… I’ll never stop caring.”

Wasn’t that just a knife to the heart. You held your breath momentarily, not knowing what to think (nervermind say) in response to that. Everything in that car seemed to freeze, Tom’s eyes piercing the deepest and darkest parts of your mind as he stared at you. You both really weren’t over it. You were both hurting. You missed each other.

And you were about to dive in all over again. 

But then the indicator ticked on. The car pulled to a stop. The ignition switched off by the driver. You were at your hotel. The journeys end - quite literally. 

Tom felt it too. He knew if ever there was a chance, however rogue and unlikely, of you two working things out it was within this journey. And he’d failed.

“I-uh…I-this is me” Stammering through, distracted by the way Tom’s eyes shone with disappointment. 

‘Yeh - yeh it is I guess.”

“Well er… thanks for, well you know… for saving me. You er-you really didn’t have to.”

“I wanted to”

“Yeh well er thanks…. And er-Oh! Your jacket” You realised, already tugging the tailored suit jacket from your shoulders. 

“No no it’s really okay. I have loads anyway.” See?In Hollywood you really weren’t allowed to wear the same thing twice. 

“Oh-okay. Well er….I’ll see you around I guess?”

“Can I walk you to your room, just to-check no one bothers you?” Tom was trying. Desperately trying. He could feel you slipping through his fingers again, this time he wanted to put up more of a fight. You shook your head thought, a sad smile gracing your lips. 

“I’d say yes but I think I know where that’d end up…. And I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Defeatedly nodding, Tom just smiled in a tight-lipped fashion, equally as sadly at you. 

“I’ll errr I’ll see you around.” While gathering yourself and preparing to exit the car, your hand on the door handle. Tom responded with a ‘yeh’ but before you left you leaned over and pressed a kiss to his cheek, before whispering under your breath..

“Thankyou Tom.”

part 2 ish of sorts --> link

[it9chi]

Hiii I don’t know if your taking request and if your not it’s fine you can totally ignore this lol :P but if you are can you do the trend of the pretty best friends with maybe Akaashi, Bokuto, and kuroo 🙈 by the way I loved the way you write the characters

how they blind react to the audio “i ain’t never seen two pretty best friends, always one of them gotta be ugly” from tiktok + find the first part here

kuroo:

man doing this to kuroo would be so funny

cs we know he lowkey prideful

so this would “”potentially”” hurt his ego

at least when it comes to you

cs this bitch hates losing to you no matter what

like he’s not like this to kenma usually

and u tell him its bc kenma is his favorite bestie

then he’s all like: noo ahaha who said i like kenma more than u? ahah who sed that cut the cameras

then proceeds to baby and pamper kenma right in front u

smh kuroo we were friends first 

ANYWAY SO

just like oikawa, he likes inviting himself to your tiktoks, selfies, etc u know the drill

so roping him in your tiktok would be easy breezy

you set up ur camera and pretend you were getting ready to dance to that fishing pole reel it in tiktok

(also prior to this u told him abt wanting to do that tiktok w him)

and just like you predicted it, kuroo is now magically next to you smirking and shit at the camera

pulling a debby ryan yes king pop off

then the audio plays: “i aint never seen two pretty best friends. always one of them gotta be ugly”

KUROO NEVER LOOKED SO OFFENDED IN HIS LIFE

kuroo goes :O like you did something so scandalous in front of him

even if the camera didnt hear his voice, its still kinda obvious that he said “chibi chan~”

now its ur turn to gasp

mf smirks at your reaction and picks you up like a sack of potatoes and throws you over his shoulder

all of that caught in camera

and right when he was gonna throw you on the bed the camera stops recording

y’all blow up overnight ;)))

the comments: “they gotta be more than friends!!”

“sis i’ll be his best friend if u don’t want to be his bestie anymore”

kodzuken: so y’all a thing now or-

bonus: what actually happened is kuroo tickled u and showed no mercy nor remorse </33

bokuto:

ahh yes bokuto

bokuto beam besties !!!!!

ft. a very very tired akaashi

you pull this shit to mess with the team

perks being the other fukurodani manager

(this is why konoha lowkey hates u but its okay queen u lowkey hate him too (as a joke)) 

ANYWAYS

so managers have to settle things right before practice starts right

after helping yukie and kaori, y’all had extra time

this is when u call bokuto in 

“bokuto lets film a tiktok real quick!” you call out to ur bestie who was with akaashi and konoha

bokuto immediately dips on them and runs to you

“what are we dancing to today?”

we know this bitch can dance lets not lie to ourselves rn

u tell him u want to do that hit the quan remix trend on tiktok and he agrees

mf even knows the step already so uh anywayz

this is the part where brokuto gets bamboozled

you click record and bokuto starts rubbing his hands together like hes about to throw that ass back and start dancing religiously

til the audio plays

“i aint never seen two pretty best friends always one of them gotta be ugly”

so that played throughout the gym

konoha and akaashi stop talking and turned their attention to you and bokuto

the realization settles in and bokuto frowns

and everyone in the gym thinks his emo mode is about to work up and they’re all about to run to him 

before bokuto lets out a big cackle

“you’re so funny sometimes, y/n” bokuto wipes a tear from his eyes from laughing so much  

bokuto suddenly goes quiet til mf starts chasing you around the gym

“BOKUTO IM SORRY” you screeched as you ran for your life

“nOPE! IF I CATCH YOU IT MEANS YOURE THE UGLY BEST FRIEND” he retorts, catching up on you

in the end the video caught u guys running around the gym

konoha took this as a chance to repost your video with the caption “what a dumbass” 

akaashi:

akaashi and this tiktok huh.....

do u know who u’re doing this to ??????

like akaashi???

akaashi keiji ?????????????????????????????????

this audio and akaashi just dont get along at all... like ... UGLY??? 

all in all im p sure this thing would backfire 

and im not even joking luv xoxo

ANYWAY SO

you do this at home bc ... u dont want to embarauz urself doing this at school cs what if someone saw u calling THE akaashi ugly 

so yeah u have this thing w akaashi where y’all just chill at ur respective homes for no reason at all

#bestietingz

and since akaashi is a genuinely nice guy and is a rlly rlly close friend of urs, he wont say no to ur vague requests <3

“keiji let’s do a tiktok together” you shake his arm as the mf reads a fucking book

“hmm okay” he hums, putting the book down

not forgetting to bookmark the page ! bookmark king ! knows his shit ok im getting sidetracked

you set ur phone down and angle it right

akaashi just does the bread face :] respecting ur viewers!

even if ur viewers r just the fukorodani team at best... maybe even some nekoma students bUT THATS NOT THE POINT HERE

ur trying so hard not to laugh and its so painfully obvious ur hiding something like akaashi is alr dreading cs he doesnt know what ur planning

so u press record and the audio rolls in

“i aint never seen two pretty best friends, always one of them gotta be ugly”

it turns to an awkward silence after that

cs akaashi didnt rlly know how to react

like he knows this shit is corny and just..... he cant even describe it oh god

and ur like looking at him for a reaction

hes just there like: :] ......

LIKE YOU TWO R ALREADY MAKING EYE CONTACT

AND UR LIKE COVERING UR MOUTH TRYING NOT TO LAUGH UR LIKE

“DO U GET IT??”

and akaashi is like: “yes i do :]” 

AND UR LIKE: THEN WHATS UP WITH THIS REACTION

then he’s all like: “nothing. i know you’re not ugly and u shouldn’t let that meme define who you are because you are beautiful”

like a mf poet making ur heart melt 

u put a closed caption thingie mabober before u post it cs u wanted to let ppl know who or how tf ur bestie acts and damn right hes right !!! ur not ugly neither is he !!!

the comments when u posted it are all asking for his contact information and the just like

“SIS I WANT HIM”

“WHATS HIS @??”

even bokuto commented like: THATS MY AKAASHI RIGHT THERE !!!!

and kuroo responds with: u cant win over him bro

and then bokuto replies again with: DUDE

[lasquadrasfuckhouse]

Hi! Can I ask for la squadra reacts to a Ghost in their base who love singing like a siren. But other members can't see or hear.

This is my first asking, im not sure of i did it correct.

Thank you so much♥️♥️

you did wonderful!!! i LOVE this concept. i wrote more general 'la squadra if their base was haunted' stuff here so i'll be working off of that

this one's dedicated to both the ghost that would hum in this one washroom at my high school when no one else was there and melissa the beautiful scene queen ghost that haunts my house and sings fall out boy and mcr with us 🙌

la squadra with a singing ghost in their base 🎶

first and foremost all of them would probably make sure it's not a stand attack and THEN would make sure they're not hallucinating but once those explanations are out of the way, here's what would follow

risotto ✂️

he's mostly just kinda confused but he doesn't let it bother him. he's a logical dude: you can't prove ghosts but you can't exactly disprove them either so he's just kinda like.... ok i guess

the singing is nice, actually. eerie but very beautiful. as long as he can still sleep, he doesn't mind. if he can't sleep, he may like.... politely ask please no singing while he's trying to sleep? he really doesn't know how to talk to a ghost. but they seem nice.

he won't go out of his way to either interact with them or avoid them and it doesn't really bother him that no one else can see or hear them. they just kinda peacefully coexist.

if the others ask him about it, he'll tell them straight up about the singing ghost, as long as the ghost doesn't appear distressed about being known to the others. but he doesn't want this ghost thing to distract them either, so he reminds everyone to keep their heads on.

prosciutto 🚬

prosciutto is dumbfounded. for real? a ghost? this is ridiculous! and why is he the only one who can see or hear it? he's just kind of annoyed by it more than anything.

the singing is rather lovely, though. if there's too much noise going on in the house and he's getting a headache, that's probably the first time he'd try like, talking to them? to be like, please--and he feels ridiculous just talking to thin air or an apparition--no singing rn. he will begrudgingly thank them when they stop, and while he's at it he may as well let them know that they do have a beautiful voice there's just too much noise right now. the ghost seems to like the compliment.

it's very soothing otherwise. maybe after some time has passed since that first interaction and he's the only one in the house, he may ask why he's the only one who can see or hear them, cause he is a bit curious. whether the ghost has an explanation or not, he'll just kinda be like aight then

really he's a bit curious about the whole ghosts existing thing in general but he just kinda takes what he's presented with. may not give straightforward answers about the whole ghost thing if the others are making a ruckus about it, at least at first, cause he doesn't want to rile em all up.

pesci 🎣

YEAH, HES FUCKIN SCARED. he can't explain it, he can't get rid of it with his stand, and now he feels embarrassed b/c he thinks he seems either incompetent or silly. in reality at least the others know that lying isn't his style so some of them are starting to wonder if he is seeing something unexplainable

the singing gets his teeth chattering. sure, it's pretty, but it's chilling. catch him hiding under the blankets with his pillow pressed over his ears.

he may very meekly ask the ghost to leave him be if they're around him and he'll leave them alone too. way too scared to interact with them and avoids them almost at all costs.

won't initiate conversation about it. some of the others may goad him on to freak him out more. be nice to pesci you losers!!!!! >:( but even if someone asks nicely about it he won't want to talk about it much but he'll be relieved that someone believes him.

formaggio 🧀

yeah, all cockiness goes out the window when he realizes it's a ghost. like, he tries his best to cling onto the attitude, but honey he is freaked out. no ghostes for him thanks

the singing gives him shivers. he'll be like HAHA YEAH.... REAL NICE VOICE YA GOT..... BUT IM NOT GONNA FALL FOR THAT....... U AINT POSSESSIN ME but the ghost is literally just chillin. he doesn't trust like that tho

may try some methods of banishment he remembers from his nonna. even if they don't work in the sense of forcing them to disappear or leave, the ghost probably still gets the message and leaves him be.

will insist with a hand over his heart that yes there IS a fucking ghost and no way in HELL is he fuckin w/ it or joking HES NOT JOKING HE SWEARS, but will puff up his chest like yea i told that ghost to get lost!!!! my love you are fooling no one everyone heard you shrieking like a little baby.

illuso ✨

he's actually a bit freaked. thought it was ridiculous until he actually couldn't find an explanation for it and it's unnerving that he was somehow singled out. should he be flattered? yes yes he knows he's lovely and cool but please don't only show your ghost activities to him or preferably no ghost activities at all

because he's freaked out he may lose his cool and yell into the air to shut up with the singing, which really does not help him feel any better.

with time, he may just get used to it, seeing as the ghost doesn't really do much aside from being a ghost and sing. he might come to appreciate the singing for how pretty it is, too.

will use the opportunity to scare everyone and definitely won't give straightforward answers just for the fuck of it

melone 🍈

VERY fascinated. thrilled, honestly! how fucking cool is it that there's a ghost right in front of him? too bad the others can't see or hear it, but he supposes that makes him lucky.

will compliment the ghost on their beautiful voice and ask a whole bunch of questions. why is he the only one who can see or hear them? do they like to sing just because? are they bound to the base, or to him, or something else keeping them tethered to this world? do they know what's beyond? can they see or interact with their stands? souls exist, seeing as someone's stand is a manifestation of it, so are ghosts souls without bodies? or something else?

he's just very curious and friendly, maybe a bit overbearing, but he's just excited. even with all his questions, he avoids asking how they died cause even though social cues aren't his strong point (especially with the dead????), he still figures that must be pretty rude to say the least. he may happily sway to whatever tune they're singing or find himself humming it later.

will be very excited to share this with everyone as long as the ghost is okay with that. doesn't care if he sounds silly or the others don't believe him, that's not his problem. will assuage any fears from the ones who are more scared by the idea of a ghost (they're just a person!)

ghiaccio ❄️

this is dumb!!! ghosts aren't supposed to be real!!!! that doesn't make any sense!!!!! goes on a rant about how ghosts don't make sense, and maybe he'd be less ticked off if they made sense. like, sure, souls exist cause stands exist. but like, what the fuck? he's honestly not scared, just annoyed.

it's extra annoying how he's the only one who can see or hear them. he's another one who gets irritated when there's too much noise in the house, so he'll yell to cut it out with the singing, if you're gonna make him talk to the air and do ghost nonsense at least don't bug him with it!!!! but soft singing in the quiet is actually very relaxing. he'll find himself sighing and just about falling asleep to it.

he's not good with words and how the fuck does he talk to a ghost but over time he may be like hey.... nice singing. when the other assholes aren't being noisy too. he'll still grumble about it not making sense until he makes sense of it, but he gets used to it.

on that front, he may actually talk to melone about it. he thinks a lot of melone's pseudoscience stuff is nonsense but he's got something concrete right here and he wants to understand it and melone is great at working with weird ideas so they try to make sense of ghosty things

sorbet and gelato 🔪🍦

they're both just kinda like. well i'll be. sorbet isn't bothered by it, gelato is like oooo how chilling but isn't like, actually scared. he's the one who may fucking flirt with the ghost like oh my is there a reason it's only us who can hear your pretty voice?? ;) sorbet thinks that's pretty funny.

and their voice is pretty! they both really like the singing, they find it beautiful and soothing and it keeps things interesting on base. what's not to love?

sorbet continues just doin his thing, but he will nod to the ghost in greeting when he sees them and exists comfortably with them, he's very chill about it. gelato will chatter and joke and flirt and be like hey let's duet this [SCREAMS] just to fuck around and see if he can make them laugh

they will both absolutely play it up to freak out the others. eventually if their antics get to be too bothersome risotto will tell them to cut it out, and they'll be like 'no problem capo, there really is a ghost tho' and then that causes a whole new wave of fuckery through the squad because even sorlato aren't crazy enough to lie to risotto's face after he told them to knock it off which means there is a ghost but HOW MUCH IS TRUE AND HOW MUCH IS THE TWO OF THEM FUCKING AROUND??? it never ends with these guys.

[secretarykang]

Devyn and the mukamis { headcanons}

when karlheinz told her about the whole adoption thing she thought it was a joke

like?? sir you already have 6 kids (7 with kino) why more kids???

she was nervous bc taking care of the sakamakis was easier since she didn’t really acted as a nanny, she wasn’t with them 24/7

like she trained/tutored them from time to time, even played with them sometimes

nothing too much

but with the mukamis was pretty different

anyway, she meets them for the first time

they looked pretty decent, as far as newly turned vampire kids can look

she aint gonna like, they were sweet

she talked to them, yk introduced herself

told them she’s gonna take care of them

they were shy ofc

two weeks in and she was their mom

and they were her kids

did devyn thought she’ll ever get so attached to any kids? no never but they were lovely

now let’s get to every kid

ruki:

will not call her anything else but miss kang for the longest time

homeboy still tried to play independent

he tried to keep it professional???

he was a bit cold yk, as i said, he tried to be all independent and shit, take a break babe you’re just a kid, it’s her responsibility to take charge not yours

they bonded over books

devyn found him in the library looking at books and recommended him a few

whenever she had to leave them for a few while because of work stuff, she’d come and bring ruki new books

they would also have their little book club thing, choosing a book, reading it and discussing it yk the drill

he would ask her about her favourite books, even asked karlheinz once because he wanted to read the book and surprise her

melted her heart, such a sweet kid

also about ruki wanting to be a bit in charge, he kinda became her right hand

he thought he really was doing 50/50 with devyn, ofc devyn still did 90% of the work, she’s the adult but putting ruki a bit in charge made him happy so she let him do that

her room was closer to ruki’s because he would never come to her when he had a nightmare so devyn made sure to be closer to him in case he had a bad nightmare and needed a hug, emotional suport of any kind

as he got older they really started experimenting in the kitchen

both finding recipes and trying them every week

the rest of the the mukamis and karlheinz where pretty much their “lab rats”

the food was always good but you get it

also he started calling her devyn

just when they were together ofc

and that’s why she told him “since you’re a big boy now you can just call me devyn like the others do”

so he did, but never out in the public, he will be proper

kou:

yk when i said all of them where like her kids

kou was her kid period

( someone made a meme about how kou would call her mom accidentally) he called her mom a lot of times

especially when he was a little kid

as i mentioned, only ruki would refuse to “bother her with his nightmares”, the others would go to her room/office whenever they wanted and needed

so picture this, young baby kou just woke up from one of his awful nightmare, comes in crying, eyes red, runny nose, all the package

“mommy can I sleep here?”

devyn was still doing a bit of paperwork but as soon as she saw him, fuck the paperwork my kid needs me

put the papers away and took him in her arms, caressed him, just trying to calm him down

it worked tho, in 10 minutes (more or less) he was asleep, maybe the best sleep of his life

he did came to sleep in her room more times even if he didn’t had nightmares, azusa too ( ruki and yuuma were still playing “big boys” )

would have duets with devyn all the times

she’d be on piano and he would be on vocals

both of the loved that

so later when he told devyn that he wanted to become an idol, she was all for it

took care of everything to give this boy the career he wanted, would’ve been his manager if she had time for that too

his no. 1 fan

buys every album, every merch, does her best to attend all his concerts

kou would call her at the most ungodly hour to let her hear a new song he’s working on

“hii devyn, can you listen to this and tell me what you think?”

or even asks her to come to the studio

still calls her mom from time to time

yuma:

she instantly knew it’s edgar

if shuu only knew… ufff but she couldn’t say anything

he was really chill

he always is

doesn’t ask for many things, whatever he’s given he takes and says thanks, hugs devyn everytime she does something for him

when he asked for a vegetable garden he was a bit nervous, he was thinking that he might ask for a bit too much

it’s never too much for him, she made sure he had everything he needed for that garden

devyn doesn’t enjoy gardening very much but for yuma, anything

whenever he asked to join him in the garden, she would be there

they’d do work in their cute gardening outfits, very lovely

anyway

devyn’s pretty tall and yuma was always so excited everytime she would measure his height and he’ll get closer to being as tall as her

little did he know that he’ll be taller then her one day

when she’s away he sends her pictures with his plants almost everyday

azusa:

ik i said yuma was a chill kid

azusa was even more chill

like whenever she out him, he’d stay there

loved to sleep in her room even if he didn’t had nightmares (just like kou)

also enjoyed to hug her anytime he got the chance: devyn working in her office, he’d come and cuddle, devyn reading somewhere in the house, he’d come and cuddle

lots of cuddle, you get the idea

the whole knife situation was a bit of shock for devyn, like she tried to understand why he did that, should she let this happening?

it did made him happy so she had to give in

she’d get him nice knives and bandage him after he would get hurt

still very affectionate to her even to his day

overall they’re pretty close to her and vice versa

thanks to them devyn discovered her maternal skills

certified milf

very much a happy family

[bakug0z]

class 1A’s tiktok fyp

request: “idk if ur familiar with tiktok but headcanons for class 1A and their fyps?”

i am on multiple sides of tiktok so HELL YEA IM GONNA DO THIS REQUEST! i did “widen” the request a little bit i hope you don’t mind!

characters: momo, ochako, toru, tsuyu, jirou, mina, bakugou, kirishima, kaminari, deku. and a special surprise at the end

warnings: language, bakugou, and mineta lol

MOMO, OCHAKO, AND TORU

i’ve never been on japan tiktok so this will be based on stuff from the tiktok i know

please don’t attack me for this but...momo, ochako, and toru would be on straight tiktok

i think they would really love doing the tiktok dances and would mostly use charli damelio as a reference to learn most of the dances

when they record themselves in the cafeteria doing one of the dances they would get a lot of stares

did they give a fuck? hell no

momo would be the one posting the tiktok

“DO THAT ONE DANCE THAT WILLY WONK-”

mineta got smacked by mina who was hyping the girls up

the rest of the boys were hyping the girls up too

bakugou...well...

“DUMBASSES, THAT’S NOT A REAL DANCE!”

the girls just rolled their eyes at bakugou cus he’s just bakugou

since class 1A was already pretty famous, they got like around 500k likes and 20k comments.

the girls read through the comments

“LMFAO ARE THEY EVEN ALLOWED TO SHOW THE INSIDE OF UA-”

“now i finally seen not only two but three pretty best friends”

deku in the back:  🥝👄🥝

they were most definitely not gonna delete tiktok anytime soon

TSUYU, JIROU, AND MINA

alt tiktok.

they speak ALT

they like posting tiktoks of them on the subway, the little space between the subway boxes, or just riding in the back of the subway

most of their tiktoks are pretty much rebellious

they like showing their “alt” outfits a lot

on jirou’s account, she would like to show off what instruments she has

is musical tiktok a thing? she would be on there

they would make tiktoks in the school bathrooms

aizawa would keep a close eye on them

their tiktoks got super popular ofc

some news outlets were concerned about their actions because it’s UA

they read the tiktok comments

“spare hand in marriage 🤲🏽?”

“their outfits are so good wtf”

“bark baaaark baaark 😏”

BAKUGOU, KIRISHIMA, AND KAMINARI

HAHAHA OKAY

all of them are on different sides of tiktok

kaminari would be on the weirdest side of tiktok

you guys know those heavily filtered random tiktoks? yeah he would be on that side

kirishima would DEFINITELY be on workout tiktok or something like that

maybe his fyp would have a mix of alt, straight, and workout tiktok but just mostly workouts

bakugou’s not really a tiktok type of person but eventually his friends forced him to get tiktok.

and he landed on...

UA tiktok.

he wouldn’t post anything

he would scroll through the ua hashtag and see a bunch of memes of his school

eventually he saw a tiktok meme of himself

it  went like

nobody:

not one soul:

bakugou when he was first place during the sports festival:

and it was someone in a bunch of restraints mimicking angry bakugou in like 2x speed

him literally yelling out his hate comment while he’s typing it

“THIS ISNT EVEN ACURATE DUMBASS” 

kaminari looks at his phone

“that’s not how you spell accurate...you spell it a c c u r r -”

even kaminari spelled it wrong

“LIKE I CARE DUNCE FA-”

suddenly his phone was buzzing repeatedly

“look, people replied to your comment!”

bakugou taps replies

“when he spells accurate correctly 😍”

“damn hows the education at ua LMFAOO”

“LMAOO YALL BOLD FOR THIS”

someone replied to that comment

“what he gonna do? reply? 😭”

bakugou was about to burn his phone until kirishima quickly snatched it away from him

“i think that’s enough tiktok for today...”

DEKU

aww honestly he’s so soft

if mha was real he would be on all might tiktok

just a bunch of fun facts or people showing off their merch

ok i just thought of something funny

he would see a false fact about all might that was clearly a joke

did you know that all might’s daughter is reese witherspoon?

he would be like WHA!? NO!

he would immediately go to the comments

all the comments were sarcastic but deku didnt realize it

he starts rapidly typing

“what? this isn’t true.”

here comes the replies

“who gonna tell him”

“ur so pure zuku”

“i cant tell if this is a sarcastic comment or ur bein fr lmao”

deku realizes and basically goes beet red from embarrassment

he responds back to his replies immediately

“hehe sorry guys :p”

don’t argue with me, deku would definitely put that at the end

even more replies

“fuck i could never hate deku”

“is he actually this pure or is this just for the public-”

“did he just use :p at the end BYE”

he smiled at his replies and continued replying to as many fans as he could

BONUS: DABI/LEAGUE OF VILLAINS

this is gonna be super short

sometimes he would see prison tiktoks on his fyp

he’s inspired

he would use this audio

he would show each member in each clip

toga would probably stick her tongue out for her pose

twice would definitely just point and mouth the lyrics but you can only see his mouth moving around his mask

spinner would probably just roll his eyes and before the clip cuts off you just see dabi rolling his eyes

as soon as dabi aims the camera at shigaraki, he’s confused at first until he realizes he’s being recorded and lurches himself to grab dabi’s phone and you just see blur everywhere due to dabi trying to keep shiggy away from his phone

then you see dabi holding his phone above him while he’s running and shiggy running far behind him

i would think the video would hit at least 1M likes because they’re fucking criminals

comments IMMEDIATELY started rolling in

“this aint who i think this-”

“HAHAHAH I CANT STOP LAUGHING”

“average life with the league”

“who let criminals run tiktok 💀” 

[tomdiddlyumptious]

Hey! Ive been feeling a bit in the muds so could you do like and old type of fanfic...like a mob!tom on a retro phone just sweet talking the reader?

Only if your requests are open tho. I dont wanna be a burden

Aw baby you could never EVER be a burdon. Dont ever be shy to talk to me because im always here babe.

T.H| What a Sweetheart

Summary: 👺👺👺

Warnings: ah just some fluff- i went overboard i hope your okay with that-

A/n: I HOPE YOU FEEL BETTER- HERE ILL POST A WEIRD VIDEO FOR YOU

There you sat. The baby pink everywhere as you laid on your stomach rocking your feet and reading a book, sucking on your lolipop

Ring Ring, Ring Ring

A smile and a giggle brought to your lips, sitting up and crawling to the old pink retro phone you answered, curling the wire around your fingers with the other hand holding the pop.

“Hey babyface” “hi tommy” he also laid there, in the darkness as he starred at the empty wall, shirtless and pantless, just in his boxers and in his socks rubbing his stomach and wanting to listen to your voice.

“I missed you” you laughed at his words “i missed ya to tommy” “i miss your voice...that pretty face of yours” “well i cant come see you, daddy stays at home now and he needs my help” “i dont need your help princess” you giggled at his joke “not youuuu, my real daddy”

“Mhmm princess, well what are you wearing?” You looked down at yourself then squealed “well i just got this fuzzy pink robe! Its so cute!” He chuckles and shifted in his spot. “Are you tired dollface?” Your lips go to the side for a moment, thinking before speaking.

“Kind of” “well, can i talk you to sleep” he desperately asked, biting his lip waiting for an answer. “Yeah let me go turn off the lights” you muttered, putting the phone down before getting up and walking to your door to switch the light off.

When you came back to your large bed you cleaned everything up and tom waited patiently, humming some songs to himself before you came back.

“Alright, what dya’ got for me” you asked, laying down on your side and holding onto the phone. “I just wanted to praise you bunny. Tell you how beautiful you are and how much i love you. How you speak and walk....your just everything for me ya know?”

“Really?” You said, your voice shrinking. “Of course baby, you deserve the whole wide world, do you know that? I feel like you should just sit on a cloud because your too good for this earth”

You sighed “thank you, but whats going on with you?” He bit his lip before answering, sitting up against the headboard “uhm, this job has been so stressful lately, i havent seen my family at all. I havent seen you- i just feel alone...”

“Oh...well i can ask my daddy to drop me off” you suggested. “No you dont have to, i only wanted to hear that sweet sweet voice” he chuckled, his head hanging low as he thought about what to buy you next.

“Im still listening!” You perked up making him laugh “i know you are princess, just lay down yeah? All ears for me?” “Got it tommy” “you ready?” “Mhm”

“I wanna buy you everything and more because your such a good girl for me, i wanna pleasure you in any and every way possible because you deserve it” “really? Give me some examples” “i dont know....rub your feet?” You both shared a small laugh “i know youve been wanting that fox fur coat..”

“I would fucking kill for that coat” “your daddy hasnt bought it for you yet?” He asked, a smirk on his face. “No, i havent asked at all” “whys that baby girl?”

You sighed before answering “because hes been so hard on me...hes getting old and-“ “you dont have to finish baby i know, i just wish we could all get together and be happy” “why cant we?” You asked rather innocently.

“Well...your daddy doesnt like my dad, and my dad doesnt like yours so we just continue to clash and fued” he wiped his eye. “Thats no fun, maybe i can talk to him” “what are you gonna say? That we are in love together and we wanna get married?” He sarcastically chuckled and your eyebrows furrowed.

“Well do you?” You asked. “Yeah doll...i do. Why dont we just run away and kill everyone in our path”

He didnt know why he was suggesting it. He in one of the biggest mobs and hes held responsible as one of the main people in the family, aside from you and yours. He really isnt the one for violence but he just wants at least a break of peace.

“Daddy wouldn’t like that” you shook your head. “I know, i just really miss you pretty girl” “i miss you to tom- thats why i wanna see you-“ “no itll just put you in danger! Stay home y/n” “what if i dont want to!”

“Then you cant come here. Im sorry!” “I dont care, bye-“ “wait-“ before he could finish you hung up the phone, dropping it back on its place before getting up and putting on your slippers and walking to the kitchen, finding your father eating.

“Daddy no carbs!” “Honey its 9 o’clock, give me a break” he glared at you, eating the piece of buttered bread. “Well i have a questionnnn” you distanced off, the slippers making a noise while you walked to the counter where your father was at. “Hm?” He groaned looking at you. “Dont get mad at me! Promise!” You said, holding up your hand and tilting your head at him.

“Spit it out y/n” “okay okay- can you pretty please talk to the hollands-“ he choked on the piece of bread “daddy!” You run up to him, aggressively patting his back. “Okay okay- im done! But you said what?” He looked at you with his eyebrows furrowed.

“The....hollands” you muttered looking away from him. “We have been against each othet for generations! And what makes you want to speak and collaborate with them” “daddy...theres this-“ “oh fuck off! Please dont tell me-“ you only nodded. “A white man?” “Daddy!” “What? Im being honest!”

“Whens the next meeting!” You asked. “In a week”

This is your first time ever coming to one of the meetings, and you were afraid. Your mob color is a dark brown so you wore it...daddy refused to let you wear anything too revealing because these men are dirty.

“Cover yourself!” “What are you talking about!” “Y/n.” “Finnneeee!” You stomped back to your room and your dad gifted you a tuxedo, so you wore it...

“Seeeeee you look great! Your grandfather would be so proud of you” news flash. All the women in the family ran away or whatever, they didnt know what they were getting their sleves into.

“Can we just leave”

Clank clank clank clank

You walked behind your dad and his close partners followed behind you, protecting you from toms family.

“You do not speak. You hear me y/n. Just sit down and listen” “yeah” you were nervous, ver nervous. So when you stepped in and seen absolutely no women at the tables you panicked. But when you made eye contact with tom you almost shit yourself.

He eyed you from afar, wondering why you were here. Why are you putting yourself in danger.

As everyone talked you sat there bored until someone made a comment about you. “Why is she here? Shes a beaut” he snickers, others laughing to.

Your dad stood “talk about my daughter again and i will kill you, understood?” He snapped, shrinking the man down to size. “Honey get out of here” he smiled at you and you stood, one of his friends pat coming with you outside.

“Why did you come here?” He asked, offering a cigarette but you declined. “I just wanted to see what its like” “no dont lie to me dollface, i know you were eyeing that boy” you side eyed him before groaning “is it obvious!” He laughed and took out his lighter.

“Very” “i dont like him” “well he likes you” he took a puff and put the lighter back in his front pocket. “How can you tell” you leaned up against the wall and crossed your arms. “He was only looking at you” he smiled, you smacked your lips. “You have em wrapped on your finger, you should take advantage of that”

“Well i dont wanna hurt people like you!” You whisper yelled. “Its business baby, has been for years” he shrugged. “Well maybe i can change it” “eh, it’s possible” he shrugged “but it aint easy”

You both heard the door get pushed open aggressively and turned around, seeing tom walking up to you. “Woah woah woah, slow your roll” pat said, stepping infront of you. “Can i just talk to her- give me like 20 minutes” “why should i do that” pat dropped the cigarette and stepped on it.

“Because i want to talk to her- if i dont make it back it twenty minutes i swear ill give you everything i have” “i dont want anything, y/n do you wanna go” pat looked back at you. You harshly swallowed before nodding your head, pat stepped aside and tom smiled, pulling your hand and tugging you to run with him.

“Baby” he said out of breath, both of you ran to the trunk of his car. “Y-yes tommy?” “I got you a gift” “what is it!” You perked up and he giggled “something youll never forget” he pulled out his key and opened the trunk, a large gift box with a pink bow on it. “Do you love me y/n?” He asked, looking at you.

“Yeah...i really do” you smiled and bit your lip nodding. “Open it” he muttered, you nervously took the bow out, slowly opening the top of the box “tommy i dont know...” “dont be scared! Open it!!” He edged you on.

Suddenly it started to sprinkle, soon turning into some heavy rain. “Y/n hurry up before you get a cold!” He said sternly and you did, a gasp left your lips as you raised the coat. “You bought it for me” you whispered and he nodded, he took the coat to put it on you, when you were finished your pressed your lips on his roughly, his hands hooking behind your knees to lift you up and put yout legs around his hips.

“I. Love. You. So. Much” you said between kisses. “I know princess, just know id kill for you if i had to” “i would too tommy, i would too” he smiled and pressed his forehead against yours, the rain coming down making your hair frizzy but he could care less, he loved you. “I wish we could be like this forever” you whispered against his lips before kissing him again. “We can baby, I promise” “how tommy?” You rubbed your nose against his “running away” “tommy i cant, you know this-“ “but arent you tired doll, it would just be me and you” he muttered, pinching your legs some.

You bit your lip before pressing a kiss on his lips. “Okay” “really?!” He smiled “yeah yeah lets go!” He carefully dropped you and slammed the trunk closed, he unlocked the car and you both hopped in, on the road you both go.

“I dont have any clothes!” “I can buy you everything you want and more princess, dont worry. Andddd letters. You always write your father some letters pretty girl” he smiled at you.

“Love you” “love you too”

[wiypt-writes]

Riding On

Ch 6: It’s A Nice Day For A White Wedding

Summary: It’s Jake’s wedding day and poor Fliss appears to be the only sober one in the Circle Of Truth…and then that all important question is answered. Is Baby Adler Pink or Blue? (Place your bets, please!)

Warnings: Bad Language words. SMUT (NSFW NO UNDER 18s!!) Also some pretty heavy anti-Trump ranting so if this offends anyone, sorry (but also not sorry… I think the guy is as much of a buffoon as Boris fcking Johnson)

Pairing: Frank Adler x Fliss Gallagher

A/N: Just so you know, I couldn’t decide whether to give them a boy or a girl…so I literally wrote both down on a piece of paper and picked. 

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any characters in this series bar Fliss Gallagher and the other OCs. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer

Riding On Masterlist // Main Masterlist

Chapter 5 And I would answer all your wishes, if you asked me to. But if you deny me one of your kisses, don’t know what I’d do. So hold me close and say three words like you used to do. Dancing on the kitchen tiles, yes you make my life worthwhile, so I told you with a smile, it’s all about you.

 Bonnie and Fliss stood in the small room at the side, the crowd of people milling around between there and the outside patio area whilst the main room was set up for the party following the conclusion of the sit down reception.

"It was a nice meal." Bonnie smiled.

"Yeah, really thoughtful of them to have the non-alcoholic wine available" Fliss smiled. “Felt nice to taste something that made me feel like an adult again.”

She looked around and her gaze settled on Frank who was leaning against the bar, his red tie long discarded, collar of his dress shirt undone. He caught her eye, flashed her a smile and then turned back to Greg continuing their conversation.

"He hasn't taken his eyes off you all day." Bonnie smiled as Fliss turned back to her. "It's cute"

Fliss smiled "You know he got me flowers yesterday. When I got back from work he had already left to come up here and when I called him to ask what they occasion was he said he just felt like it." She paused "I get the feeling he is still trying to make up for Vegas but he doesn't need to. We're good."

Bonnie grinned. "Did he tell you what he actually said to the girl?"

"I don't think he remembers" Fliss shook her head.

"Si does. Apparently he said, and I quote 'why the fuck would I want a Big Mac when I got a prime fillet steak waiting for me at home?’ “

Fliss blinked, and then let out a huge snort of laughter which attracted the attention of a few people around them. 

"How fucking rude" 

"She deserved it by refusing to back off the first time. Ho." Bonnie shrugged. 

"I don't mean that I mean him likening me to a piece of meat. Mind you, quite apt really..." she shrugged 

"How so?"

"He is constantly fucking horny." Fliss dropped her voice "Not that I particularly mind but the last week or so he's been really, really bad. Take Thursday for example. I woke up to him poking me in the back so he got a blowjob before we got up, then he fucked me on the couch that evening when Mary had gone to bed and then when I woke up to go to the loo at 2 am we did it again."

Bonnie sniggered "Maybe you're giving off some kind of sex pheromone because you’re pregnant."

"I know you're joking but..." Fliss shrugged "He’s always had a high sex drive but since I started really showing he has gotten so much worse. I think he has some kind of breeding kink."

"Must be so hard being you..." Bonnie said sarcastically "Nice man that buys you flowers and can't keep his hands off you...”

"He is the one finding it hard not me" Fliss grinned and at that Bonnie tipped her head back laughing.

Frank heard his girl’s laughter from where he was stood and watched as she tipped her head back, attracting the attention of a few of the guests with her loud cackles. His eyes scanned down her frame and back up again, lingering slightly on the gentle curve of her bump just visible under her dress as it hung over her lower body. Her hair was pulled back into an elegant knot at the base of her neck, a few strands hanging loose around her face and her eyes were lidded with a light dusting of rose gold powder, making her brown irises pop even more. The necklace he had bought her a while back hung around her neck, settling just above her cleavage which looked fucking amazing in that dress. 

The moment he had seen her earlier when she had arrived with Bonnie he’d felt the all too familiar stirring in his pants that he seemed to get every time he looked at her recently. His mouth had gone dry and he’d been totally ogling her, enough to cause Greg to slap him on his shoulder and tell him, jokingly, to stop being a pervert. 

Frank hadn't replied. He’d waited long enough to allow himself to open up to someone so they could see the entire shit show he was. He was happy, more than happy in fact. So as for being a pervert where Fliss was concerned? Well, he had no intentions of stopping at all. 

As he watched her now, aware he was once more staring at her, she tucked a piece of hair behind her ear and her hand went to her silver daisy pendant, gently twirling the silver chain in her fingers before she let go, pressing her hand over the pendant in the curve just above her breasts and that was it, he was done.

He wanted her, now.

Necking the short that Greg had passed him he patted his friend on his shoulder and told him he would be back shortly before striding over the room towards the two women. As he made his way over, dodging round a few people, he saw Fliss reached out and snatch Bonnie’s beer, taking a mouthful, letting out a groan of satisfaction. Bonnie’s eyes flew to him as he approached and he put a finger over his lips, telling her to be quiet.

“Pretty sure you ain’t supposed to have that…” Bonnie chastised, her eyes flicking back to Fliss as she took the bottle back.

“One mouthful won’t hurt.” Fliss replied, her shoulders rising in a shrug. “I always take a swig of Frank’s before I hand it to him…just don’t tell him.”

“Too late.” He leaned down and said in her ear, causing her to shriek slightly and jump as his hands settled on her hips, beard tickling her cheek and neck.

“Fuck! Fran, what you trying to do, send me into early labour?” she tilted her head to look over her shoulder at him before she glared at Bonnie “You could have warned me.”

Bonnie shrugged and grinned as she walked off. Fliss wrinkled her nose and turned in Frank’s arms, looking up at him sheepishly

“That was naughty.” he teased and she grinned a little.

“It was one mouthful…”

“I’m only teasing.” He smiled, dropping his mouth to hers in a sweet kiss and she sighed. He tasted of scotch and the cheesecake that they’d had for desert. “I told you before, one glass or one bottle won’t hurt if you want one.” “No, I don’t.” She shrugged “Just wanted a little taste that’s all.”

“Yeah well, now I want a taste of something.” “What are you talking about?”

“I want you.” He said, his mouth by her ear and he felt her still slightly, her breath hitching and he grinned, planting a soft kiss to the crook of her shoulder. He knew the effect those words had on her, being wanted as opposed to needed, it was a subtle difference, but one he knew meant something to her, and him for that matter.

“What, now?” She looked at him as he pulled away, glancing around the room before he looked back down at her.

“Right now.” He nodded.

“Are you serious?”

“Deadly.” He looked at her, “What’s the Ladies bathroom like?”

“You wanna do me in the ladies.” She deadpanned as he tugged her hand and pulled her away from the crowded foyer towards the bathroom.

“Yup.” He checked around once more to see if anyone was watching, before he opened the door and nudged her back gently with his hand so she entered the room in front of him.

“Wow, romantic, Frank.” Fliss said sarcastically as she arched an eyebrow, turning to face him.

“I’m being spontaneous.” His eyebrow arched as he backed into the cubicle, pulling her with him, reaching round to lock the stall door.

“There’s nothing spontaneous about you wanting to jump my bones” She looked up at him as her purse clattered to the floor, “You’re constantly after a bit at the moment.”

“Can you blame me Sweetheart?” he whined, looking down at her, his eye-line trained on her cleavage “You turn up…looking like that…been killing me sat next to you all afternoon. Frankie has needs.”

“My face is up here jackass!”

“I know.” he said, his gaze not moving “I was talking to Ben and Jerry.”

“Ben and Jerry.” Fliss scoffed “You named my boobs?”

“Only since they got bigger.” he grinned as his eyes moved back to hers

“Why Ben and Jerry?” she asked as his hands gripped at her hips.

“Because they’re delicious and soft like ice cream.”

Fliss snorted and he grinned at her, his eyes glazed slightly.

“You’re drunk” she stated.

“Nah ah, it’s hormones.” he said seriously.

“No.” Fliss laughed “I’m pretty sure you’re drunk. I saw you, Simon and Greg before, all necking from the hipflasks you each have in your pocket whilst they were taking the photos.” “Yeah, but.” Frank shook his head “I aint that drunk. Scouts honour.” “Like you were ever in the scouts.” she laughed, her hand brushing through his hair.

“Actually I was, you can ask the mothership.” he assured her “They kicked me out after 5 months thought. I made rude words out of a load of string that we were supposed to be using to mark out a flower bed at the old people’s home.”

Fliss let out a groan “Bean is gonna be a monster.”

“No they won’t” he shook his head “Gonna be sweet…” he placed a kiss to her lips. “…and gentle, just like their mamma bear.”

His hand moved to cup her cheek, fingers grazing her neck as he pressed his mouth to hers. The kiss quickly became heated and Frank pressed up against her, the door to the cubicle rattling slightly, neither of them paying it much attention. His other hand grabbed a fist full of her dress, and he was just hoisting the tulle layers up when the noise of voices hit their ear as the door to the bathroom opened. They both stopped dead, and Fliss bit her lip to stop herself from laughing as Frank grinned down at her, his finger flying to his lips as his shoulders shook with his silent sniggers. A few doors down the cubicle door opened and they waited for whoever it was to finish. Eventually the toilet flushed and the door unlocked, before the tap began to run.

“I’d hurry up you guys…” Bonnie spoke, amusement in her tone as Frank and Fliss looked at each other, “You’ve been gone 10 minutes already.” At that Fliss burst out giggling as Frank snorted and his face dropped to Fliss shoulder where he pressed a kiss to her skin, his lips sliding up to her neck, gently nipping beneath her ear, his hands fondling her breasts over her dress. She gave a low groan and he smirked against her skin.

“Still don’t wanna?” he teased and she shook her head.

“Fine, just…get on with it then you twat.” she mumbled into his ear and he looked at her, grinning.

“I love it when you swear in British baby.”

“I can talk dirty in British too…” she quipped.

Frank gave a groan, slanting his mouth on hers as he pulled her with him, her fingers undoing his belt and trousers, pushing them down with his boxers over his hips, before he sat down on the closed toilet, taking himself in his hand and pumping himself a few times until he was rock hard as she leaned down, kissing him.

“Turn round…” he said against her mouth and she did as she was told. His hands bunched her skirt up to her hips and she reached down to move it of the way as he grabbed her hips and pulled her down, shifting her underwear to one side. In a fluid moment she sank down onto him, both of them letting out soft moans as Frank’s arm circled her waist protectively around her bump as she tipped her head back against his shoulders, his hips moving upwards.

She ground down on him, rotating her hips and he let her set the pace, more than happy to simply sit there, holding her, trailing sloppy kisses over the exposed skin on her back. The hand that wasn’t round her waist moved up to the front of her dress, slipping inside the low plunge neck line to her bra-les breast, rolling her nipple softly causing her to shudder and push down on him further.

“Fuck, Lissy…” he groaned, his forehead pressing on her shoulder “Feel so good baby girl..”

Her response was a low pant of his name as her hips moved faster, snapping back and forth as she pushed down even further, seeking out the friction she desperately needed. Her head tilted and he caught her mouth in a sloppy kiss, swallowing another moan as she pushed down further, his hands pulling her onto his lap as he fucked up into her over and over.

It was dirty, quick and in his many times with women he wasn’t quite sure he’d fucked anyone in a bathroom before, certainly an alley way or two, a dark corner of parking lot too, but it didn’t matter either way as he was damned sure it wouldn’t have been as good as this, the woman who was carrying his baby, the woman he loved with all his heart bouncing on his lap as they both raced to their ends. As Fliss tightened down, her head rolling back, she parted her lips and let out a low keen as Frank’s hand gently moved upwards, his fingers caressing the font of her throat as he held her against him, turning her head towards his so he could catch her mouth in a filthy kiss as he pushed up for a final time and came with a grunt. They both sat still for a while before he gave a little hum as Fliss chuckled as his hands wrapped around her, resting on her bump.

“You’re a bad man.” she mumbled and he grinned, giving her a quick kiss.

“Yeah but I’m your bad man.”

With a snort Fliss stood up and Frank rearranged himself, standing up and pulling up his pants. With another soft kiss Fliss told him to go out ahead of her whilst he sorted herself out so as not to attract too much attention to where they had been, even though she was pretty sure Bonnie had already told their friends.

Telling her he would meet her at the bar, with a final peck to her lips Frank headed out of the cubicle. He quickly checked his appearance in the mirror and once he’d straightened his suit and smoothed his hair down slightly he pulled the door open to be met with a round of applause as Simon and Greg stood by the pillar outside the bathroom, both grinning as they clapped.

Frank grinned as simply took a bow before the three of them laughed and Greg slapped him on the back as the three of them headed to the bar.

***** “Welcome to the dance floor….” The DJ’s voice rang out over the room “The new Mr and Mrs Neill…”

Jake swept Lisa out onto the floor and Fliss smiled, watching a the woman’s dress billowed out behind her and he took her into a hold as the opening bars to Signed, Sealed Delivered by Stevie Wonder rang out. Jake began to twirl Lisa around, the pair of them laughing a various people took photos, recording. Frank dropped a kiss to the side of Fliss’ temple and she smiled as his fingers curled around her hip.

“They look so happy.” Fliss smiled.

“Yeah.” Frank nodded “Good job really, seeing as they just got married.”

Fliss smiled and then there were some giggles as Jake and Lisa’s young girls ran onto the dancefloor to join their parents, which gave the couple the signal to wave everyone else in to join them.

“Shall we?” Frank asked, turning to face Fliss and she grinned.

“Lead the way Sailor.”

They stepped out onto the dancefloor where Frank gently took her left hand in his right, his other hand curling round her back, fingers splaying at the bottom of her spint.

“Can’t pull you quite as close as I’d like.” he quipped glancing down and Fliss shook her head as she looked at him, a soft smile spread across his face “You’re beautiful.” “You’re not so bad yourself, handsome.” she smiled as he twirled her around the floor, his movements upbeat in time with the song. He was actually a pretty good dancer, which Fliss knew already from the various times they’d been out, but it never failed to make her smile the way he could move so gracefully for such a tall, broad shouldered man. When she had passed comment on it once he had grinned and informed he that it was ‘all in the hips’, hips that were now easily snaking side to side as he moved in time with the music, stepping back from her a little, his hands taking hers. Fliss laughed, simply dancing along with him and eventually the music changed into another upbeat song. The pair of them stayed were they were, dancing with their friends and enjoying themselves until after about 20 minutes or so Fliss declared she was out, and needed the bathroom again before she was going to sit down.

“To pee this time, right?” Bonnie called after her. Fliss didn’t even look back, simply raised her finger up over her shoulder as she left the dancefloor.

Once she had washed her hands she touched up her make-up, glancing at her cheeks which were quite flushed from the heat and the dancing, before she headed out. Frank was waiting for her by the door.

“People will talk, you hanging around outside the Ladies.” she grinned.

“Only one lady for me.” he winked back and she shook her head.

“Smooth.” “I try.” he grinned, kissing her cheek “Wanna get a drink?”

“Yeah.” she smiled, slipping her hand in his as he led her over to the bar.

Frank ordered himself a beer, deciding he needed to take a break from the hard-stuff and Fliss a water. As she took it from him with a thanks she glanced around watching everyone dancing and milling around, cocking her head to one side, a thoughtful look on her face.

“Penny for em.” Frank said and she turned to look at him smiling.

“Nothing of interest really.” she mused “Just thinking about all this. It’s been a nice day and a lovely ceremony and clearly what Lisa and Jake wanted but…” “Not what you want.” Frank smiled “Yeah, I know.” “But what about you?” she asked, looking at him. “I know we joke about how I’ve been there and done it but…” “Liss.” he cut her off, his hand curling round her hip. “Do you really think that all this showy shit is my style?”

“No, not really.”

“Exactly.” he smiled at her “I told you, I’d be happy to run away, me, you and Mary and do it with just the 3 of us there. But I’d probably get lynched by your mom and dad so…” He pulled her into his side closer, dropping a kiss to his head “It can be whatever we want it to be.”

We.

That word hit her hard, because her last wedding had been all about how her stupid bastard of a husband wanted to show the world how rich and special he was. There wasn’t a thing about that day she had chosen for herself, including her dress and her bridesmaids. She looked up at Frank, her eyes clouding slightly and he chuckled, shaking his head at her sudden emotion.

“Come on, let’s go sit down.” he smirked, nodding to a table at the side of the room where Simon was just taking a seat. Fliss nodded and allowed him to lead her over.

As is usually the case with weddings, people flit around all over the place. Fliss found herself dancing again with Bonnie, then talking to a few of Jake’s old school friends, then to some of Lisa’s friends, one of whom had her own horse so they got caught up in a lengthy chat about show-jumping and before long she realised she’d been away from Frank for well over an hour without realising. She finished up the conversation and headed back to where he was sat at a table, animatedly discussing something with a white haired gentleman, Bonnie watching him with a slightly amused expression.

"The guy is a fahking melt..." Fliss heard Frank groan as he leaned back in his chair, shaking his head.

"Who is he talking about?" Fliss asked as she sat down next to Bonnie.

"Trump" Bonnie replied, grinning.

"Oh this should be fun..." Fliss smirked, and Bonnie nodded.

"The guy he is talking to is apparently a big fan..." she turned to face Fliss, "But he's yet to give any kind of pro- Trump argument which Frank deems worthy of consideration. Oh, and Frank is getting more Boston with every sentence.”

“Yeah he does that.” Fliss she said, fondly turning her attention to Frank who shook his head and wrinkled his nose.

"You're being disrespectful." The man who Frank was talking to shook his head "He's our president."

Frank scoffed "Disrespectful? Not really, I just find it beyond comprehension that this country elected such a damaged, sociopathic narcissist."

"Say what you mean Frank." Bonnie nodded sagely and Fliss bit her lip to stop herself from laughing. Frank was in full flow, however, and fuelled by the amount of alcohol in his system he wasn't about to stop any time soon.

"John Oliver hit the nail on the head." he continued, necking the last of his beer. "Trump could be drowning in the damned ocean and he'd there, waving the lifeboats away screaming 'get out of here, I'm very buoyant, I'm the most buoyant. Everybody talks about my buoyancy... I'm a tremendous floater' ...fahkin jack-ass."

"Who got Frankie boy talking about Trump?" Simon asked, placing the tray of drinks down and handing them out. Fliss took her Sprite with a thanks as he slid a short tumbler of scotch over the white table cloth to Frank, before flopping down on the other side of Bonnie, dropping a kiss to her cheek. Bonnie nodded to the gentleman who was now saying something back, to which Frank let out a lout guffaw of laughter as Greg settled into a seat a few down from Fliss.

Simon grinned "Come on Jack!" he spoke and the man turned to face him "It's a wedding, no politics."

"I only stated I happened to agree with his policy of putting American's first..." the man held his hands up.

"And I only pointed out that his misguided beliefs that migrants are to blame for all of America's ills are exactly that, misguided." Frank shrugged, shooting a wink at Fliss as he reached for the glass of amber liquid in front of him. "People should look closer to home...at the people who run the damnedcountry, not everyone in it merely tryin'a make a living..."

"His policies made sense when I read them..." the man called Jack shrugged. “Well thought out, articulate…” At that Frank leaned back, shaking his head, an unbelieving smile on his face as he gave a groan “Articulate…come on…”

"You kniow..." Bonnie leaned forward "A random monkey hitting keys for an infinite amount of time will eventually come up with the works of Shakespeare" she swallowed the rest of her drink. "All Trump really needs to be considered one of the greatest Presidents of all times is an infinite amount of time and a monkey that can type."

At that Frank snorted into his glass and reached over the table, holding his hand up. Grinning Bonnie hi-fived him and Simon, Greg and Fliss exchanged a glance, before Fliss leaned forward.

"You know how they measure horses in hands." she said and Frank turned his attention to his girl, his eyes shining "well he must have the biggest horses on the planet." she said, making a claw like gesture with her right hand and Frank let out another loud bellow of laughter, his hand flying to his stomach.

"And why are his eye sockets always white?" Greg asked, looking into his glass like it held the answer before he glanced round at them all. "Like, you think someone would tell him to use the sunbed without the goggles every once in a while..."

At that Jack shook his head and stood up, walking away.

"Something we said?" Bonnie asked, innocently as Simon leaned back in his chair and spoke, his talent for impressions ringing out across the table as he imitated the President's voice perfectly "I'm going to build a wall, and it will be the greatest wall ever known to man, even better than China's...my time as President will go down in history as being part of America's dumbass years, the most dumbass years ever..."

As the 5 of them laughed, Jake plopped down at the table, pointing at Simon, then Frank then Greg.

"No politics at my wedding, bitches."

"We're not talking politics..." Frank hiccupped slightly "We were just roasting the cheeto skinned, toupee wearing prick."

"His dad should have definitely wiped him on a curtain." Greg nodded, causing everyone at the table to laugh once more.

"All that sperm and he got there the quickest." Simon sighed "Makes me wanna cry."

"You know what is gonna make you cry?" Jake looked at him "My foot up your ass. Come on guys, this is my fucking wedding. Let’s go do shots and rip up the dancefloor!"

"Oooh...shots..." Bonnie nodded, standing up.

"What happened to taking it easy in solidarity?" Fliss narrowed her eyes at her, patting her bump.

"I'm weak." Bonnie shrugged as Simon tugged her to the bar, Greg rising to follow them.

"Frank?" Jake asked

"I'll pass." he smiled

"I could get em to make you an apple juice shooter?" Jake offered as he patted Fliss' shoulder. She flipped him the bird as he walked off, chuckling to himself.

Frank pause for a moment, taking in his girl's slightly flushed cheeks before he stood up, grabbing his glass which contained what was left of his short, and rounded the table to sit next to her.

"C'mere..." he said, patting his knee. She stood up and settled on his lap, his arm curling round her waist, fingers brushing the side of her bump "You ok?"

"Yeah." she smiled "Which is more than you're gonna be in the morning."

"I'll live" he smirked, necking the rest of his liquor. "No one has ever died from a hangover Sweetheart."

"There's time." she smiled and he grinned up at her, placing his glass on the table. 

"How's Bean?"

"Cooking." she grinned

"And Momma bear?"

"You asked me that a few seconds ago."

"And I'm asking again."

"In that case I'm still fine." she grinned leaning down to give him a peck. Frank smiled at her as she leaned back, his hand brushing her hip as he looked around the room.

"I wanna get married." he said, looking back to Fliss.

"We are."

"No, I mean like actually do it." he smiled "I wanna set a date."

"Don't you think we have enough to organise?" Fliss chuckled "Finding a house seeing as you're so adamant you want to move before Bean arrives..."

"They need a nursery." he pouted and Fliss smiled, running her hands through his hair. 

"So you tell me." she replied "And then there's actually a small matter of me giving birth..."

"Piece of cake..."

"Oh really?" she looked at him "How about you squeeze a bowling bowl out of your vagina and then tell me it's easy..."

Frank laughed and grinned up at her "You'll be amazing...you always are." he placed a kiss to her bare shoulder. "But seriously...don't you wanna marry me?" he pouted.

"No, I just took this ring because it was shiny." Fliss rolled her eyes at him "Of course I do."

"Well...couldn't we just like pick a month...so...I have some kind of marker in the sand?"

Fliss looked at him as he turned his puppy dog eyes on her and she shook her head, giving a soft huff

"You're such a soft bastard when you're drunk."

He shrugged "I can't help it. You make me feel things."

"And I don't when you're sober?" she teased.

"Shut up." he looked at her and she grinned, running her hand through the whiskers on his face. His beard was now actually pretty impressive as he'd let it grow out properly, it was way beyond the untidy, short stubble it had been when she'd first met him. But then again he was also quite far removed from that fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants, lost and damaged man he had been. He'd grown, a lot. And so had she. He knew it, she knew it...and the fact they had done it together made it all the more meaningful and special.

"September." Fliss smiled "Next year. Bean will be 1 by then and things will have settled. Think you can wait that long?"

Frank beamed at her "Yeah? You mean it?"

She nodded.

"Then September 2020 it is." his lips stayed curled up at the side as she dipped her head again and pressed her mouth to his. She pulled back, and found herself mimicking the infectious smile on his face. "I can't wait to make you Mrs Adler." he whispered.

"Who says I'm changing my name?" She teased and he frowned a moment before he shrugged.

"I just assumed..."he began to back track "I mean if you don't want..."

"Frankie..." Fliss cut him off, her hands cupping his face "I'm joking. I can't wait to have the same surname as you, Mary and our little one."

"God I fahkin love you..." he spluttered and she laughed, leaning back a little bit. At that point the opening bars to Hungry Like The Wolf hit their ears and Fliss heard Bonnie shriek her name. 

"Miami BITCHES, HOLLERRRR!" Simon yelled as he leaned on the back of Frank's chair.

"Shall we?" Fliss asked, standing up. Frank grinned, took her hand and allowed her to pull him onto the dancefloor. As she began to dance and laugh with Bonnie his hand fell to her hips, pulling her back against him, just like he had done all those months ago in Miami, before everything had taken such a huge change in direction. A dramatic change, but a change he was loving day by day. As he felt her push back slightly against his groin he gave a low groan and bent over.

“Stop it or I’ll be dragging you off to the bathroom again.”

She tilted her head, looked at him all doe eyed and innocent and he shook his head, arching and eyebrow.

“Ok, ok, I’m sorry.” she spluttered and he rolled his eyes before she turned round to carry on dancing, this time behaving herself.

As it was getting later into the evening, after a few more 80s hits the music took a turn and dimmed into something softer, and Fliss cocked her head to the side as Frank reached out to her, pulling her to him.

“What is this?” she asked.

“It’s called God Gave Me You.” Frank said, his fingers curing around hers “By Blake Shelton. He’s a Country singer.”

“Ohh, the dude that’s with Gwen Stefani.” Fliss nodded.

“Yeah, I heard it for the first time in ages in the truck the other day.” Frank said “When we went to Tampa.”

“I thought it sounded familiar.”

He smiled, refraining from telling her he’d been playing it on a damned loop for days since because every time he heard it, it simply reminded him of her.

As he steered her around, he became lost in the lyrics, not really paying attention to anything but realising how much they stuck home, how they were true to what he felt about Fliss. How he had been a mess until she’d appeared and given him everything he didn’t even realise he needed and more. How she had fit so perfectly into his and Mary’s life. How she was now carrying his child. How he would always love her…

He felt her squeeze his hand and he looked down and she was grinning at him.

“You’re singing.”

“Am I?” he asked, giving a soft chuckle “Sorry, I didn’t realise…”

“Don’t worry about it, no one else heard. Besides you have a good voice, not like mine.”

“Well, I wasn’t gonna say anything but the other day when you were singing in the shower Mary thought Fred was stuck somewhere and crying to get out.” Fliss laughed and shook her head “Yeah it isn’t one of my talents. I’ll leave it to you.”

He smiled and gave her a soft kiss.

“You singing it to me or Bean?” Fliss asked, smiling at him as he twirled them round slightly.

“Without you there would be no Bean.” He shrugged simply and at his words he saw her eyes misting over.

“Frankie…” she muttered and he chuckled slightly, his hands cupping her face.

“Baby, what’s…”

“That’s so sweet and…” she spluttered shaking her head “Fucking hormones”

He laughed and pulled her closer, still swaying to the music and she let out a sight. Frank felt her sagging a little in his arms and then it struck him. It was almost midnight. She had been up since 8, they’d been out at this wedding one way or another for almost 12 hours now and she was 5 months pregnant.

“You tired honey?” he asked and she shook her head where it was pressed against his chest. “Liar.” he kissed her head softly.

“Ok maybe a little.” she looked up at him

“Wanna go?”

“It’s still early.” she looked at him. “I don’t mind if you want to stay, I can go and-“

“Absolutely not.” he shook his head “It’s half 11 now and I’ve drunk more than enough…Jake and Lisa won’t mind.”

“You sure?”

“Course. I’ll go get call us a cab.”

When he came back Fliss was at the table gathering her purse and his jacket. They made their rounds, said good bye to their friends and Frank led his girl out into the starry sky hand in hand.

*****

All things considered, on the Sunday morning Frank woke fairly clear headed, which Fliss pointed out shouldn’t have happened with how much he had drunk. They had a lazy morning before they headed home to pick Mary up, who was full of beans about how Steve had taken her out playing mini-golf the previous afternoon. They stayed for dinner at Bill and Verity’s before they made their way home along with the 4-legged fur babies and it wasn’t long before all 3 of them crashed out, the exertion of the weekend catching up on them all.

Monday and Tuesday seemed to drag by for Frank, and there was a reason. On Wednesday they finally got to find out what Bean was. Their scan was in the afternoon and Mary once again wanted to come, especially as she knew she would find out whether it was gonna be a girl or a boy that joined their little family in roughly 19 weeks or so time. Once more she was ignored and packed off to school with a frown on her face.

Frank was like a coiled spring all morning. The guys at work teased him relentlessly about how he was bounding around the place like Tigger on cocaine but he didn’t care. He was beyond excited to find out whether they were going to have a son or daughter. At exactly 12 he finished work and headed home. Fliss was already waiting for him having changed and showered and chatting excitedly they hopped in his truck and headed to the hospital. They were early so went to grab a drink at the coffee shop- Fliss having been told to drink plenty of water as it would help with the scan, and then when they had 15 minutes to their appointment they headed up.

“Miss Gallagher, Mr Adler.” Dr Kent smiled at them as they walked in “Nice to see you again.”

They both greeted her and Fliss settled on the bed, getting herself comfortable as Frank slid into the chair by her side. After answering the questions the Doctor asked her about how she was feeling, whether she was worried about anything, all the time Frank trying to pay attention but his mind was on one thing and one thing only. Seeing his baby again.

And when that time finally came, his heart skipped a beat. On the 3D scan there was so much more detail to take in this time. He could make out the little nose, the ears, eyelashes…fucking eyelashes. A tiny hand curled by its face which twitched as their baby move slightly.

“It says here that you want to know what it is…” Doctor said, looking at them both “Is that still the case.”

“Yeah…” Frank said, at the same time Fliss spluttered.

“No, I mean yes… “

Frank frowned “Liss? I thought…” “Could you write it down for us?” Fliss cut him off, smiling at the doctor.

“Ahh you doing a gender reveal?” The woman nodded, and Frank’s frown grew deeper. They hadn’t discussed that.” Not a problem…”

The doctor looked at the screen and Frank glanced at Fliss questioningly but she softly shook her head at him and squeezed his hand, telling him silently to trust her. The Doctor smiled, and headed off to write the results down and a soon as she had left the room, Frank turned to Fliss

“What are you doing?”

“I just had a thought…” Fliss took a deep breath “that if we do it this way, you know get it written down to open later, then Mary can be there with us when we find out.”

And once again, just like that, her fucking thoughtfulness knocked him sideways. He blinked and shook his head, smiling as he brought his eyes back up to meet hers “You’re fucking amazing you know that?” Of course the only thing wrong with her plan was that they now had to wait another 3 hours for Mary to come home.

Frank collected her from the bus stop and as usual was greeted by the grumblings that she was perfectly capable of walking home across the little park on her own, to which he shot back his usual I don’t care response. She walked into the apartment with her usual swagger, tossing her bag over the back of the sofa before she wandered into the kitchen where Fliss was stood chopping up salad for dinner

“So.”  she said, dramatically “You gonna tell me then or what?”

Frank looked at Fliss who smiled before he spoke “Actually, you’re gonna tell us.”

“What?” she looked at him

“You’re gonna tell us what it is.” he repeated.

“Like how?” she rolled her eyes “I wasn’t even there.”

“We got the Doctor to write it down.” Fliss explained, “And seal it in an envelope.” Mary’s eyes widened “You mean…you guys don’t know?” Frank shook his head “Fliss thought it would be nice for all 3 of us to find out together.”

She looked at him, then to Fliss, her blue eyes filling with tears a she ran to Frank, her arms circling his waist.

“Hey…” he chuckled, crouching down and looking her in the face, his hand brushing her hair back slightly as she sniffed and gave a watery laugh “We good?”

She nodded and smiled “Where is it? The envelope I mean.”

“On the coffee table.”  he said, kissing her forehead.

“Can we do it now?”

“I hope so.” Frank said, looking up at Fliss “Been waiting all damned afternoon.”

“Oh hush.” Fliss replied as he stood up, Mary in his arms.

“You know you’re getting kinda big now Stack.” he grunted a little as he shifted her onto his hip.

“You’re still bigger.” she said as he dropped her down onto the floor in the living room.  She looked at the envelope and when Fliss nodded at her she picked it up.

“You know…” she mused, looking at Frank “If I open this that technically means that I was the first person to know. Well, other than the doctor…but they don’t count.” Frank looked at Fliss as his arm slid round her waist. “Yeah..” he turned back to Mary “Pretty cool, huh?” She grinned at him and took a deep breath “Ok…here goes….”

Frank felt his heart suddenly become quicker in his chest as he watched Mary pull open the envelope and look at the small slip of paper inside. She read the words, looked at them both, her eyes shining.

“Wow…” she breathed out.

“You’re killing us Stack!” Frank spluttered “What the hell is it?”

“It’s a boy!”

There was a pause and Frank blinked. “What?” he breathed out and looked at Mary “Are you sure?”

“I can read, Frank?” she narrowed her eyes at him, handing him the piece of paper. With a shaking hand he took ait and looked down at the words the doctor had written on them. As he read them, “Congratulations, it’s a Boy!” they suddenly registered in his brain and he looked at Fliss who had tears in her eyes. His own eyes misted over and a huge grin spread across his face.

“Lissy, it’s a boy!”

She gave a laugh as his arms wrapped around her and he kissed the side of her head.

“Happy Sailor?” she asked.

“I can’t…wow!” he chuckled, sniffing slightly, unable to form any other words. He moved one of his arms and signalled for Mary to join them and she rushed forwards, her arms wrapping around his waist as he dropped his hand to her back, gently rubbing between her shoulder blades.

A boy. A little boy.

Although he truly would have been happy either way, as long as their baby was healthy, he’d secretly always hoped the colour would be blue. They had Mary already, and from a selfish point of view had wanted a boy to even the numbers out. Not to mention the fact he was already envisaging matching baseball caps, sneakers, sailing days, basketball, football…

He looked at Fliss who gave him a smile and his face split into an even wider grin and he leaned over to give her a kiss before his hand dropped to the side of her bump, gently skating the place where his son was growing.

***** Frank wanted to shout their news from the roof tops. But Fliss forbid him from telling anyone until they told the family first. As Evelyn would be here for the weekend they decided to have a BBQ on the Saturday evening, and share their news then. And Mary and Fliss came up with the perfect way to do it.

Evelyn arrived in town on the Friday afternoon and due to her new found ‘friendship’ (if you could call it that) with Fliss’ parents since that fateful thanksgiving in Boston, she was staying with them. Her first comment upon seeing them all was how much Fliss had bloomed since her last visit a few months ago. Fliss had grinned and commented that she felt like a hippo to which Evelyn had snorted and told her to stop being ridiculous. The 4 of them went for dinner that evening to the Italian in town that Mary liked and on the Saturday Bill dropped her at the stables to see Mary ride. Mary had now moved on from the cross poles to a foot high straight upright jump, and she was easily taking it all in her stride. Frank had long since given up trying to talk her out of it. She enjoyed it, and it was hard to deny she was pretty good at it too. Saturday afternoon they all went back to the apartment where Evelyn, Fliss and Mary whipped up some cupcake batter…something which floored Frank. He couldn’t remember his mother baking, ever. Once the cakes were cooked however, Evelyn was unceremoniously barred from the kitchen whilst Fliss and Mary put the final touches to their Gender Reveal plans. At one point Mary burst out of the kitchen telling Evelyn to look away, and as Frank looked up from where he and his mother had been glancing at a few realtor pages and properties in the local area, he could instantly see why. She had blue food colouring all over her face and hands.

Later that night Verity, Steve, Bill and Roberta joined them and after a few drinks Mary handed out the cupcakes.

“Now, you have to eat them at the same time.” she instructed “Because the colour in the middle will tell you if the baby is gonna be a boy or a girl.”

“Did you make these?” Steve looked at Fliss. She nodded.

“And no, there’s nothing special in them…” she told him and he smirked “Other than the buttercream.”

As everyone eagerly began to dig into their cakes, desperate to find out, Mary skipped over to where Frank and Fliss were stood at the side of the kitchen steps, standing in front Frank as his arm dropped looping around her chest, pulling her back towards him a little. “A boy?” Verity shrieked, the first to find her splodge of blue cream in the middle of her cake as she looked over at them all.

“Yeah!” Fliss smiled, Frank’s other arm tossed casually round her shoulder.

“God help ya’ll, a mini Frank!” Roberta quipped and he shot her a glare before the rest of the crowd of people erupted into cheers and laughter. There were a lot of hugs shared and then Mary stepped over to Bill and Steve, holding her hand out.

“Pay up, losers.”

“Yeah…Dad can you sub me?” Steve asked, “I left my wallet at home” “Course you did.” Bill grumbled as he reached into his pocket. Retrieving a twenty from his wallet he handed it to Mary.

“Erm…what are you doing?”  Frank asked, having watched the exchanged.

“Last week when you were at the wedding we were talking about it and I bet them it was a boy.” Mary shrugged “I had a hunch” “And now she has twenty bucks.” Bill grumbled as Fliss gave a loud laugh.

“No she doesn’t.” Frank put his hands on his hips “Give it back.”

“No way.” she pouted “I earned that.” “You’re 9.” Frank shot back “You know it’s illegal for 9 year olds to gamble, Mary.”

“What you gonna do Frank?” Fliss asked as Mary folded the money and sticking it in her pocket “Call the feds?”

Bill and Steve both sniggered as Frank looked at Fliss before he shook his head and turned back to Mary.

“How exactly were you gonna pay if you lost?” he folded his arms. “I was planning on winning it back by betting on the name.” she shrugged.

“Double or quits.” Steve nodded in agreement.

“Stop encouraging her.” Frank pointed at him.

“Relax…” Frank heard Evelyn chuckle a little and he turned to face her, where she was sat at the outside table with Verity and Roberta “You’re in dad mode already.” “I’ve been in dad mode for the last 8 and a half years.” he shot back before he felt his eyes widen slightly.

“I know…” his mother gave him a soft smile. “Believe me.”

Fliss hand tightened around his for a second and he looked down at her, giving her a quick peck.

“I’m gonna get another beer.” he said, suddenly needing the head space. “You want anything?” “No.” Fliss smiled at him as he walked off. 

Truth was he’d shocked himself a little. That was the first time he’d ever referred to his role with Mary as being a dad out loud to anyone but her or Fliss. Truth be told, he was a little worried about how she was going to react once Bean was born and how they were going to try to keep her feeling as included as they could, especially when he started talking and referring to him and Fliss as Mom and Dad, when Mary didn’t. He ran a hand over his face, opening the fridge. It was an unorthodox situation, but…well, he knew full well there were worse circumstances Mary could be in. 

“She wouldn’t mind you know.” a voice jerked him from his thoughts and Frank spun to face his mother

“Who?” he frowned. “Diane.” she reached past him for the bottle of wine in the fridge “Fliss told me that’s why you get so pissy about people referring to you as Mary’s father.” “I’m not pissy about it, I’m just not her father.”

“You are in every other way bar legally being labelled as so, Frank.” Evelyn poured herself a drink “And moreover, Diane’s memory isn’t going to suddenly fade away if you were.”

“What are you-“

She levelled him with a look and simply handed him the bottle back before she picked up her glass and headed off leaving him pondering her words. With a shake of his head, deciding that was a discussion for another day, he grabbed another bottle of beer and headed back outside.

“Hey Frank!” Roberta’s shout stopped him in his tracks as stood at the top of the steps and looked over at her. “You gonna cook anything on this BBQ or what? Been waiting so damned long my clothes are goin outta fashion.” “That’s assuming they were in fashion in the first place!” Mary grinned, skipping past Frank as he walked onto the lawn, tossing a ball for Fred as he scooted off after it, Thor following.

At that Steve snorted. Roberta looked at him

“Oh hark on the British boy in board shorts.”

Steve’s response was a cheeky wink “I have been reliably informed you like men in board shorts Roberta. Do I not meet your standards?” he gave a little twirl, his arms held out to his side, a grin on his face. “I’ve seen worse.” she mused, causing Steve and Bill to tip their heads back in almost identical roars of laugher. “You ever fancy yourself a sugar momma you know where to come lookin’ honey.”

“You know, if we’re discussing questionable clothing choices…” Fliss looked up, her eyes locking onto Frank’s before she glanced at Mary “I have something to say about someone’s shirts.”

Mary let out a lout hoot of laughter as did Roberta and Frank looked at Fliss as she grinned.

With a shake of his head and a soft snort of laughter as he looked around at his family, he headed to the BBQ.

**** Chapter 7

[beelieveinfandom]

Convo from the 18+ discord about a very silly star wars crossover I wanted to share.

gremgeous the gem pillar Just had a GREAT idea for a star wars crossover Just dipper visiting the star wars universe for whatever reason (multiverse vacation maybe? Idk. Dipper maybe dusted off that old portal in a fit of nostalgia or smth) and palpatine finds him and tries to tempt alcor to his side by offering him power Standard stuff for the sith really Except Well If you offer a demon unspecified power, in what form are they going to take it if not in the one who is offering's soul? Biggest and best tasting power boost there is, really! And then maybe he takes over the empty shell of a body afterwards which may or may not grant him force acess and alcor has a grand old time making a mess out of running the republic (or at least running lose in the senate) This is like... early prequals or pre-preauals era maybe. When palpafucker is still undercover and being all covert and unsuspicious and stuff I call this.... "palpatines penechance for grand speeches and unspecific ominous statements to try and seem all powerful and cool and dramatic fuck him over" Or in shorter terms ... . "There's a demon lose in the senate" And it basically runs like that one john mullaney bit With a side dashing of that one journak 3 thing where bill posesses a guy, messes with a roman army and then makes a guys head explode Also like nobody knows who alcor is or that hes even there bc theres no demons or dream demons in star wars (that i know of) so he gets the run of the place Even moreso than back home in gravity falls bc no one knows magic, its all "force this" and "force that" Dippered probably spends a lot of time nerding out over the different alien species since they dont have those back in his dimension (theyve got aliens but theyre different kinds) and also about the laser swords (just like the one Grunkle Ford made for them all (Ford, Dipper, Mabel, Stan, Soos, Grenda, Candy, Grendas boyfriend, Pacifica, and even waddles and gompers)  back in 2017! Good times, good times.)

swbeeworm oh this sounds like fun

gremgeous the gem pillar Right???

swbeeworm if i was familiar enough with the star wars universe to write anything in it i'd give this a shot

gremgeous the gem pillar right???

swbeeworm like i know star wars?? but i don't know star wars n i have to know something to be confident in writing it

gremgeous the gem pillar Sadly everything i know comes from time travel fixit and semi-salty pro-jedi meta

swbeeworm but just.... the sheer chaotic potential of this...

gremgeous the gem pillar Gosh yes....... Oh its be so good..........

swbeeworm oh mood it would be

gremgeous the gem pillar @Abigor u like star wars too gimme ur thooooughts When ur awake and have them to give

swbeeworm ugh i should. probably not be awake, i have stuff to do tomorrow n i have a headache but this is fun to think about

gremgeous the gem pillar I had another thing thats fun to think abt too Clone wars era, alcors there and everyon thinks hes a brand new sith player b/c gold eyes

swbeeworm just the shenanigans. the bullshittery. the sheer what-le-fuck reactions of everyone from the senate to the jedi to the people ooooooooo

gremgeous the gem pillar YES!!! Exactly.

gremgeous the gem pillar Oooooh jedi can do mind things i wonder what alcor wpuld feel like to them

swbeeworm my first instinctive responses were: 1) constant Screaming and a whirlwind mishmash of colors/concepts/etc that makes everyone who 'looks' too long start bleeding thru the nose/eyes 2) wii music on loop and these are VERY different prompts to have back to back but that's what i got

gremgeous the gem pillar AKDHSGGSHD I LOVE IT Oh what if its both at the same time Ajdhegdhdj what rven is the music like in star wars anyway

swbeeworm the fkin,,,, cantina music

gremgeous the gem pillar Like how would they react when confronted w wii music

swbeeworm is the equivalent i would think

gremgeous the gem pillar Do they even have the same sorts of instruments do they even know what electronic music is

swbeeworm just. that spawned another Thought imagine that the cantina music from That One Scene is the sw-equivalent of the wii music and just.  just imagine that same scene playing but with wii music on loop in the background

gremgeous the gem pillar Gosh "wii music on loop" i love it AODHDHSHSJD

swbeeworm it would probably FIT they have the same vibe

gremgeous the gem pillar Im crying Mits so good

swbeeworm sdjlksdafj i saw a post the other day that was talking abt the music there n how it kept playing on loop n the poster joked that it might have been like,, the john mulaney salt-pepper-diner-story situation which is only tangentially related to this topic but i had to recall it

gremgeous the gem pillar AJSHH i love that Gosh ok i feel like take 1 would fit with the new sith in town scenario And take 2 fits with theres a demon lose in the senate

swbeeworm sfsdkfjh yES

gremgeous the gem pillar But how FUCKING HILARIOUS would it be if in the senate story its the former, and in the oh so serious sith story its the wii music on loop im akdhsjdvsjdhsjbd

swbeeworm ASLDJSLKFJ plEASE take 1: gritty, serious, angst, deadly miscommunications--and fucking wii music on loop take 2: lighthearted, cracky, shenanigans and bullshittery--and fucking bleeding out the eyes if you try n read the guy talk about dissonance

gremgeous the gem pillar "Big scary sith! Look at the yellow eyes! What dastardly plots cpuld he be thinking/partaking in....." [Hard cut to alcor pov/inside alcors head] wii music plays as he stares off into space during a supposedly very important meeting

gremgeous the gem pillar OH I DO LOVE THE DISSONANCE Gsjdgysgsvsjgd wheeze its so good i love it

swbeeworm me tooooo .....for the sith one. would ppl see blue fire n think lightning

gremgeous the gem pillar Theyd probably think its some other secret sith technique

swbeeworm fair enough

gremgeous the gem pillar Everyone thinks one of the other sith lines that was supposedly wiped out had it since this sith deffs aint the line of bane- even the cirrent sith wanna know where alcors popped in from "Lightning was the bane line specialty.... guess where ever this kids guys from fire was theirs"

swbeeworm= adjlsdfkjlfkjf the shenanigans n bullshittery one imagine alcor-as-palpatine just. going incorporeal, still visible but not able to be touched, and the jedi go from "what the fuck is going on"  to "why the fuck is he  a force ghost"

gremgeous the gem pillar AJSGSHSGSHSA

swbeeworm alcor, who'd done it only bc his ~ornate robes~ had got so caught/tangled on something he could only get free by phasing through it: ??????

gremgeous the gem pillar wheeze Alcor: how the fuck did this guy move around in these AJDHSGDH ALCOR NOT KNOWING ABOUT THE SITH- SHOWS UP TO THE SENATE IN THE SITH ROBES

swbeeworm asdlkjsfkjsdfdf

gremgeous the gem pillar CALLS IT A "FASHION STATEMENT" WHEN CALLED OUT ON IT

swbeeworm a fASHION STATEMENT YES alcor: :blobsweats: alcor: what the FUCK is a sith alcor: and why do they have better style than the jedi

gremgeous the gem pillar WHEEZE He doesnt know jack shit abt the jedi or anything hes just vibing!!!!!!

swbeeworm yesssssss

gremgeous the gem pillar AJDGSGGDJS YOU KNOW WHATVWPUKD BE EVEN BETTER ALCOR THINKS THE SITH LOOK IS TACKY AF

swbeeworm alcor: no listen. listen. i picked these space robes out of my space wardrobe because they looked cool, not because i'm part of some. some space cult ljflskdajfslkdfjsd

gremgeous the gem pillar BUT HE STILL THINKS ITS BETTER THAN THE JEDI

swbeeworm that's even better

gremgeous the gem pillar space cult im HOWLING

swbeeworm you KNOW he'd be so excited at being in space this DORK

gremgeous the gem pillar Ph gosh imagine it starts out all dark and serious and angsty and creepy in the whole beginning exchange But as soon as the day after alcor takes up palps role hits it takes a sharp turn into crack terriotry

gremgeous the gem pillar OH HE WOULD

swbeeworm yESSSS

gremgeous the gem pillar Alcor takes one look at dooku and is like "youre the only one aroynd here with any sort of fashion sense" "And its HORRIBLE"

swbeeworm sljflskdjfsd

gremgeous the gem pillar Just roasts him And by extension everyone else too

swbeeworm dooku has NO IDEA what's going on but at this point ""palpatine"" or whatever's taken over him is ten minutes into a rant abt the layers on layers of boring robes jedi wear and at this point he'll take the backhanded compliment about his own style

gremgeous the gem pillar Akehdsjfssksgsjd

swbeeworm just to shut him up

gremgeous the gem pillar AKDHDJDGDJDHD Alco goes on a 30 minute rant on why suits are SO much more professional

swbeeworm snaps "palpatine" into a suit and goes "...except maybe for this guy idk if anything could make him look good"

gremgeous the gem pillar And its more of a backhanded insukt than a backhanded compliment but anything to shut the guy up, right?

swbeeworm how much we roasting palpatine here

gremgeous the gem pillar To a blackened crisp

swbeeworm as it should be

gremgeous the gem pillar Its better than his wrinkly old rasin look anyday

swbeeworm lskjdlsakjfdf agreed

gremgeous the gem pillar Be hard NOT to improve on that honestly But the dude sinks so low i bet hed somehow manage it

swbeeworm --alcor getting fed up w palpatine's body and just. showing up to the senate meetings, full alcor, eyes n his normal face n everything, in palpatine's robes, and when someone rightfully asks him who the hell is he, he just deadpans "i'd think by this point you'd recognize your own chancellor" and just straight insists he's palpatine (and has the knowledge to back it up) every time someone sputters

gremgeous the gem pillar Also i included the bit abt the journal 3 thing bc my saga of alcor repeating bill's patterns, behaviors, and ideas unknowlingly and without awareness that that is what he is doing shall continue >:3c

gremgeous the gem pillar AODHAJDBAKWJHEVEJDJDHSHSHSJWOWKJEHEE I LOVE IT OH HOW I LOVE OT ALSOWHSKJDISOSOAJAIW Oh gosh what if he fuckin

swbeeworm because at this point it's less about blending in and more about trolling the whole senate and being as distracting as possible  because with everyone paying attention to his trolling theyre less likely to notice the bills for clone rights n abolishing slavery n such that he's pushing thru in the background misdirection at its finest

gremgeous the gem pillar I was gonna say a thing abt alcor replacing palps b4 the election and so they did elect alcor to chancelorhoood But it might be funnier if he took him over AFTER abd still says that bit abt recognizing their own chancellor Oh gosh in that secind scenario it would be hilarious if the jedi are all  :blobglare: @alcor except for obi-wan who is all like "i am looking away" bc at least THIS guy (whiever the hell he is) has stopped being such a creep abt anakin

swbeeworm the jedi are sent in to figure out wtf is going on and. they, unfortunately, bewilderingly, confirm that this is the same person as the chancellor who'd been showing up recently??? same wii music/bleeding effect??

swbeeworm alcor, finding appointments with some random jedi kid on palpatine's calendar: wtf why is this creep trying to meet with a kid alone, yeah how about i cancel that

gremgeous the gem pillar AKDJDJD Alcor, looking at palpatibes planner: "every day i am more and more glad that i ate thig guys soul" "Like i knew it was oily but im suprised i havent got an upset stomach from it yet"

swbeeworm sjlskdfjsdf alcor the next day, after finding stuff abt the order 66 chip things, gagging: "i spoke too soon"

gremgeous the gem pillar Obi-wan to the council: hmm? Yes this is totally the chancellor, i know this because of all the previous meetings and close relationship he has had with my padawan which you allowed and helped facillitate- "Palpatine":[has a completley different body type, height, and face. Plus he actually has hair and is maybe even floating a little but its hard to be sure in those black and gold robes- and with a completely different voice] oh, yeah, totally, Im the chancellor and i totally know who this guy and that kid is yup yup yup-

gremgeous the gem pillar [UGLY LAUGHTER] AkdjskkdkdjsysAODJSJEUEIEIIEF

swbeeworm ASDKAFDF "palpatine": [grins with very sharp teeth at a nervous senator] council: "okay that is NOT normal" obi-wan, deadpan: "i'm sorry, it sounds like you're discriminating against non-human beings? that's not very jedi of you now is it"

gremgeous the gem pillar ALDHDJDHD Wait wait no what if its "This is completely normal behavior. I, as a human, know this for certain" "I can do this too, but i dont, because it is impolite, but hes the chancellor he can do whatever he wants"

swbeeworm asldksajflksdfjsdf;jsdf yes yes beautiful

gremgeous the gem pillar Alcor and obi-wan team up to be passive agressive at everyone who allowed palps and anakin to hang out ABOUT them letting an unsupervised minor chill w a suoer duper old guy Shoulda had a chaperone at LEAST Butalso

swbeeworm the other humans on the council: "uh, actually-" obi-wan: [manages to sip tea (which he shouldn't even have access to in a council meeting btw) with an aggressively polite smile and silent Threat] the other humans: "....um."

gremgeous the gem pillar "Thats not very jedi of you now is it" AODHSJSIDHALSVD IM HOWLING I LOVE IT THE SASS wheeze*

swbeeworm i live for obi-wan sass it gives me LIFE

gremgeous the gem pillar SAME oh its so good Love that one post where obj-wan is on tatooine and calls all the force ghosts to view his powperpoint presentation about how letting palps have acess to analin was a bad idea as hed been saying all along-

swbeeworm u need to know i wrote this with the "that's not very plus ultra of you" meme, which is a bnha offshoot of the "that's not very cash money of you" meme, in my head on repeat

gremgeous the gem pillar Ph him terrorizing all the people palpatine had in his pocket...... Ok this is veering into even MORE crack territory but at some poibt alcor replaces, uh, whats the dudes name, palps second in command - mess something-or-other? - with a nightmare Not just ANY nightmare But a DIFFERENT nightmare each day

swbeeworm ASDLSDFKLDJF PLEASE

gremgeous the gem pillar They took it upon themselves to go on rotation They couldn't decide who should go when alcor proposed the idea so its everyone One at a time They dont even look REMOTELY human Or like anything the galaxy has ever known or seen And theres no "secretive supernatural species" excuse for them to fall back on here lmao

swbeeworm random dude: "what is that???" alcor, cheerful: "that's my assistant" rd: "is that--is that supposed to be a sheep?" alcor: "no they're my assistant" nightmare: [sound that, if you ignore the reverb and microphone-screeching and kazoo effects, might be a "baaa"] alcor: [smiles aggressively wider with sharp teeth] rd: [sweats nervously]

gremgeous the gem pillar ALDJDKSIEJEHAJWJWHEI Obi-wan: i am still l :eyes:king away Anakin: oooh, the wool is so soft master. Come feel it! Obi-wan: really? Ooh youre right The council: ....

swbeeworm rd: "okay but this is a DIFFERENT one than yesterday right?? right???" alcor: "i have absolutely no idea what you're talking about :)" obi-wan, still with tea he should not have, this time with space whiskey mixed in: "sir i think you might be seeing things, they are clearly the same individual as yesterday"

gremgeous the gem pillar Mace: ...hrm it is quite soft- The rest of the council: ??? When did he get-

gremgeous the gem pillar AKDJDJDHDHD JUST LYING THROUGH HIS TEETH ALDJDHFJF

swbeeworm obi-wan looking mace dead in the eye and chugging his spiked tea which is more whiskey than tea at this point: "how dare you accuse me of lying.  me, after everything i've done for this council.  i am betrayed.  heartbroken.  never shall trust again.  i am leaving until i recover" -and promptly fucks off on a vacation with anakin

gremgeous the gem pillar The jedi start getting a LOT more missions about busting slave rings and giving aid in the outer rim - plus some more dimplomacy docused ones in regards to solving teeaties instead of putting down rebellions

-alcor shows up on the vacation with zero explanation and obi-wan at this point is like "fuck it why not" -a nightmare takes his place in palpatine's robes in the senate for the week they're gone

gremgeous the gem pillar ALSJSHDJDJSKDHEE Weirdly enough some of the more corrupt senators go missing after that week No one knows what hapoebed to them but the robes the "chancellor" wore that week have some awfully suspicious stains WAIT WAIT WHAT IF ITS NOT A NIGHTMARE WHAT IF ITS GOMPERS alcor didn't even ASK gompers to be there he was planning to not even warn anyone n just vanish but gompers just SHOWED UP the nightmares were the ones who put the robes on him

gremgeous the gem pillar Alcor doesn't even KNOW gomoers is there He gets back after the week and is like "what the heck" The nightmares are pretty proud of themselves for that one

swbeeworm the nightmares, collectively: "this is gonna be HILARIOUS" alcor, halfway across the galaxy, sees a newsfeed of a senate meeting with gompers in the robes in his place, and spits his drink clear across the room

he's only mad because he didn't think of it in the first place

gremgeous the gem pillar wheeze Hes proud of them

swbeeworm he IS

gremgeous the gem pillar Its so HILARIOUS

swbeeworm i pity anyone trying to read this mess later but i hope we at least make them laugh once

gremgeous the gem pillar Same Its such a joy Alcor teaches anakin the secret to mabel juice

swbeeworm oh no

gremgeous the gem pillar Only the children thank him The minders.... not so much

swbeeworm alcor: "okay so what i'm hearing is, the adult jedi have been making Stupid Decisions and not paying as much attention to the kids, as evidenced by them letting that one kid have meetings one on one with the creepy older guy i stopped putting effort into impersonating a month ago. so, clearly what needs to happen is something that forces the adults to pay attention to the kids and start keeping a closer eye on them, but it can't be something that actually hurts the kids because then i'd feel bad" alcor: "...." alcor: :blobamused:

gremgeous the gem pillar akdhdjsgshsjhdsjdjdj

swbeeworm alcor in a totally not suspicious trench coat and sunglasses: "hey. hey, kid. you wanna try some mabel juice?"

gremgeous the gem pillar AKDJDJDJDLFKFIFJIF WHEEZE "With the creepy older guy i stopped putting effort into impersonating a month ago" ALDJDBDJDJDDHDHDJDJDJDJDJDJDJSJDJEJEJE

gremgeous the gem pillar AKSJSHDJDJF

swbeeworm star wars kids: "mr chancellor why are you wearing that" alcor: "because i think it's funny" kids: "it isn't" alcor: "look do you want the juice or not"

gremgeous the gem pillar I LOVE ALL OF THAT LOOK DO YOU WANT THE JUICE OR NOT

swbeeworm i am having WAY too much fun with this ldjsldkfjdsf;

gremgeous the gem pillar "Were not supposed to take drugs from strangersl" "Its not- just take it!"

Hooooh man thats so funny Oh gosh Alcor uses a different time/date system

Than the star wars one

swbeeworm ooooooo yes

gremgeous the gem pillar Nit super sure where im going with this but.... Pretty sure he woukdnt know the star wars one At all Maybe the in-umuverse knockoff calendar maybe Hes wnough of a nerd to have that memorized But the star wars proper one

No, no i dont think he knows that one

swbeeworm nope no chance

gremgeous the gem pillar Omg yes

gremgeous the gem pillar Well its a good thing we have this..... and the mistaken sith version too :blobamused:

WAIT WAIT QAIT FLASH OF INSPIRATION ALCOR GIVING ANAKIN THE STRANGER DANGER PPT

swbeeworm i have 1 scene i can think of that actually almost made my friend cry and i have 1 au scene of a different au of mine where a character who canonically dies and gets brought back to life...doesn't come back (which is extra angst bc this is a Ghost Seeing Fic) and both of these i wrote at like 3-4am

swbeeworm SDFJKSDLFSJf YES :blobamused:

gremgeous the gem pillar Alcor: "you know, i usually save this one for the kids who followed the stranger with the nice candy into the alleyway and end up as sacrifices but I feel like you could benefit from it too"

swbeeworm alcor: "no talking to suspicious ppl" anakin: "except you right?" alcor: "....in any other situation i'd say no but if i say that you're just gonna up and leave (i see that grin thanks very much) so in this one singular personal case it is fine that you trust my very suspicious self"

gremgeous the gem pillar AKSJSJDJJD "My very suspicious self" Aksjdhdd

swbeeworm obi-wan, straight up knocking back shots now: "the man has a point anakin"

gremgeous the gem pillar Haha nice Obi-wan is taking notes Hes also re-inventing alcoholic mabel juice He weaseled the recipie out of the kids

swbeeworm asldfkjsdlkfjd imagine if somehow SIDIOUS CAME BACK and tries to take back over the senate but everyone at this point is used to alcor and one of two things happens: 1) they assume this is alcor messing with them with a clone/double (they don't know how he'd do it but at this point given his "assistants", the goat that somehow made more eloquent speeches than the "human", and the other things involved, they wouldn't put it past him) and just ignore him 2) they look between the real palpatine who'd been pushing thru some very sketchy bills, and between alcor who's been sneaking through law after law protecting all kinds of sentients, and they turn back to palpatine and go "how dare you impersonate the chancellor" and kick him out

swbeeworm at this point he deserves it tbh

gremgeous the gem pillar AKDJDJDHFDJDJDJD Ok i preffer him dead and gone and forgotten in favor of alcor (its what he deserves) but oh those are hilarious

swbeeworm agreed to both counts alsdjalsdk

gremgeous the gem pillar ESPECIALLY if the senate chooses to keep alcor over palps XD Ph man we can work that into him being dead and gone too- alcor starts dispersing the power and the other half of the senate w bail and padme are like "yeah seems legit" along w obi-wan The jedi only put like, a token effort into investigating and are more put out by trying to figure out what happened to the real palpatine and all his past shady dealings than exposing the current "palpatine" for a fake

swbeeworm palpatine: "excuse me?? i am the chancellor of this republic" councilmembers, with the same deadpan as alcor's been pulling on them all year: "sir, i think you're confused. this is the chancellor" [points to alcor, in palpatine's robes from his closet, making no attempt to hide his lack of resemblance to palpatine, with a nightmare at his side wearing a small top hat that proclaims its position as "chancellor's assistant"] palpatine: [screams of frustration]

gremgeous the gem pillar Once they reaize the shift in mission assignments can be attributed to new palp

gremgeous the gem pillar AKDJDJDJSJSJSBEJSJSJSHSJSKS

swbeeworm yesss this

gremgeous the gem pillar I wanna say maul gets the joy and pleasure of offibg palpatine the second time in that version

swbeeworm FINALLY they get a chance to pull one back over on someone, pass along the suffering a little bit

swbeeworm oh definitely

oh shit we've been at this for an hour

gremgeous the gem pillar Maul comes back and offs palps and evrryone is jist like "Maul!!! How?!?" And completley ignore the palpatibe corpse 2.0 Ajdhhd so we have Niiiight book

Also from a tumblr post the phrase "your pal friendpatine" is hilarious and i think yall shoukd enjoy it too As is "SOMEHOW... MAUL RETURNS" Both taken from the same post lol Okokok so switchibg tracks for a bit Revisiting Some groundwork for the mistaken sith version Alcor is there..... because al-v was there first, made friends with the droid army mid clone war, and caled his dad in to help Which puts alcors initial point of contact as the separost foot soldiers

gremgeous the gem pillar No matter what the dominant language alcor has most recently been using OH OH OH ALCOR WITH ACESS TO OTHER UNIVERSE SLANG CONFUSING ALL THE SENATE WITH HIS NONSENSICAL PHRASES AND IDIOMS AND SLANG/PROFANITY LIKE "over the moon" AND "hot belgian waffles" AND "fuck" "Palpatine": [drops paperwork he JUST spent so much time disorganizing (as in putting in a dissaray)] FUCK Senator: .... sir, what is a 'fuck' "Palpatine": ......... im not explaining that to you Or conversley he makes smth up Alcor, upon realizing the most common swear word is "kriff': yeaht hats stupid im not saying that Alcor mercilessly roasting the star wars profanity And how stupid they all sound. This one is great for the al-v and alcor make friend w a droid army and maybe-sorta steal them while massivelt confusing and mystifying everyone along the way, bc why not add a language barrier on top of all the other assumptions and misunderstandings >:D But also at the same time it would make sense for him to have got thw local language in an infodump somewhere along the line (maybe an older version) if its located in a different galaxy but the same universe........... but also what if theyre just suoer far away so he didnt get priority acess...... or even if he traveled back in time ............. [Shrug] idk Mwanwhile inexplicably having the same language is hilarious in the demon lose in the senate ons but also imagine alcor pretending to be palpatine while unable to speak the common tongue lolol I know it wouldnt work (he has to be able to understand palpatine on some level to take MASSIVE advantage of him and eat his soul) but it is hilarious to think abt the shenanigans............ OH GOSH ALCOR TAKING CONTROL OF THE SENAT BUT BEING UNABLE TO R E A D AKDBSKSKJFF Okokok Imagine the basic/english language inexplicably being the same structure w a few different words and concepts...... when spoken And completley different when written down SO ALCOR CAN SPEAK BUT HE CANT READ Meanwhile in mistaken for a sith land alcor either doesnt have any knowledge of the local language or else gets a SUPER OLD AND POSSIBLE DEAD LANGUAGE in an infodump (to help feed the misunderstandings and rumors and future clashes w the sith and the jedi hehhehheh) bc semi-omniscience is not total omniscience and so is not everything and, once again, is not very helpful But ill leave off for tonight on the thought of alcor, lose in the senate, in the seat of the chancellor, lord of all paperwork for the galactic republic....... and able to read NONE of it And barely understands it too (demons are not ones for politics, Brian the Organ Duck and his 200 year sucessful presidency run aside) (his is soemthing of the exception, not the rule.) Meanwhile all those humanitarian aid bills and the like are all being passed by bail and padmes group all over the place bc their strange and inexplicable source of resistance was devoured like, a week ago Not ones to look a gift horse in ths mouth until AFTER they get what they want the group passes a ton of bills without delay - and manages to break up a few monopolies along the way Now im not saying that "palpatine" suddenly acting off and the bills facing a lot less resistance is a noticeable coincidence...... and around the same time he stops asking after anakin ............... but im totally saying they notice it and realize its probably, absolutely, not a coincidence and theyre not going to say anything bc they like this new "palpatine" better. Despite all the other mindbending weirdness and mindfuckery going on there The jedi are only mad abt alcor bc a few of their own started bleeding from the eyes nose and ears when they tried to investigate initially so theyre a little ticked off abt that, which, fair.

Also the blantant lying and lack of trying on alcors part is a little insulting to them as a whole ("does he think we'll really fall for that") and is slightly concerning to them ("who the heck is this, someone is inpersonating the chancellor of the ENTIRE REPUBLIC-" Which is, admittedly, a little concern worthy)  but if the council is honest (or some of the council anyway) with themselves its pretty much the darn best entertainmnt theyve had in a good long while, headaches aside, sot ehyll focus more on the okd palpatines dissapernace and dealings than the new "palpatine" so long as he doesnt start doing anything ACTIVELY damaging to the republic. A little mischief doesnt technically count as harm- and hey theys preffer to find the og chancellor b4 upsetting and potnetially causing the new one to do smth drastic by attsmpting to out him (not that alcor would, its so much funnier to deny everything to their faces while blatantly lying but they dont know that. So caution (and stress) it is)

[roguestarsailor]

impressions of six of crows

***spoiler ishh, not plot spoilers but just character interactions throughout the book***

note: I have not read shadow and bone and this is the first book i’m reading in this series so i have no prior knowledge of who these people are or what happened prior to this!!

I adore all these characters in the book! I love how seamlessly everything flowed and its glorious to read. The names were all confusing to me so I had to constantly refer back to the map and the Ice court layout to fully understand everything. I think there were points where I didn’t fully understand the impact because I didn’t read the other books. Talk of the Second army was confusing for me, but I just pushed through. I just love the dynamic of this group and I really really hope they are ok. Please don’t die. Will this author do this to my sensitive heart?? idkk?? 

the heist was so fun and honestly, i dont think the ice court was that well protected haha. it felt like they had so much time to do so many things but it just might be how the story is told. i love stories of trickery and heist and this one did a really good job. I love the backstories getting interwoven together and the plot twists were lovely. I was stressed for kaz though and i was nervous he will “run out of tricks” but it ended up fine. its strange because he is sooo young and hes battling these seasoned professionals and hes gotta navigate this fucked up world. they all have to navigate this fucked up world and i can’t imagine the stress of always looking behind you but also looking at the next 10 steps and then plotting additional scenarios to live. wow. anyways this i was great 10/10!!

Notable scenes include:

“Jesper!”

I’m going to kill that little idiot. “What do you want?” he shouted down.

“Close your eyes!”

“You can’t kiss me from down there, Wylan.”

I LOVE THEM ALREADY! JESPER AND WYLAN IS SO CUTE

“Pull your shirt up over your mouth,” [Jesper] told Wylan.

“What?”

“Stop being dense. You’re cuter when you’re smart.”

Wylan’s cheeks went pink. He scowled and pulled his collar up.

“Discipline. Routine. Does it mean nothing to you? Djel, I can’t wait to have a bed to myself again.”

“Right,” said Nina. “I can feel just how much you hate sleeping next to me. I feel it every morning.”

Matthais flushed bright scarlet. “Why do you have to say things like that?”

“Because I like it when you turn red.”

“It’s disgusting. You don’t need to make everything lewd.”

...

“Despite her fatigue, she trotted ahead of him. “That’s it, isn’t it? You don’t want to like a Grisha. You’re scared that if you laugh at my jokes or answer my questions, you might start thinking I’m human. Would that be so terrible?”

“I do like you.”

“What was that?”

“I do like you,” he said angrily.

She’d beamed, feeling a well of pleasure erupt through her, “Now, really, was that so bad?”

“Yes!” he roared.

“Why?”

“Because you’re horrible. You’re loud and lewd and...treacherous.  Brum warned us that Grisha could be charming.”

“Oh, I see. I’m the wicked Grisha seductress. I have beguiled you with my Grisha wiles!”

She poked him in the chest.

YOU KNOW DAMN WELL I FUCKEN LOVE THESE BICKERING IDIOTS. but also nina means so much to me. its so fucken refreshing to see a character who is overweight and can carry herself with so much sass and confidence (because thats what 17 year old me would have wished to be able to channel)!! i love that shes so flirty and especially to someone as stoic as matthais is cute af!! even the author wrote about how much she loves nina: “I probably identify most with Nina. She’s spent her whole life being told she’s too big, too loud, too much--and that’s basically me. I just wish I had Nina’ confidence at seventeen.” she has the kind of sass and big dick energy that comes w having to prove yourself and being shamed and i think thats why she has a special place in my heart!! maybe i’ll go in on my love for nina in another post but ugh i love her

“When we get back to Ketterdam, I’m taking my share, and I’m leaving the Dregs.”

He looked away. “You should. You were always too good for the Barrel.”

It was time to go. “Saints’ speed, Kaz.”

Kaz snagged her wrist. “Inej.” His gloved thumb moved over her pulse, tracing the top of the feather tattoo. “If we don’t make it out, I want you to know...”

She waited.

...

She reached up and touched his cheek...this was the first time she had touched him skin to skin, without the barrier of gloves or coat or shirtsleeves. She let her hand cup his cheek. His skin was cool and damp from the rain. He stayed still but she saw a tremor pass through him as if he were waging a war with himself.

“If we don’t survive this night, I will die unafraid, Kaz. Can you say the same?”

His eyes were nearly black, the pupils dilated. She could see it took every last bit of his terrible will for him to remain still beneath her touch. And yet, he did not pull away. She knew it was the best he could offer. It was not enough.”

NO I LOVE THEM TOO! KAZ1!!! DO SOMETHING!!! BUT ALSO FUCKEN GOOD FOR YOU INEJ YOU FUCKEN KNOW WHAT YOU DESERVE AND IF HE AINT GIVING 100 U DONT WANT IT I LOVE HER TOO

Inej turned to go. Kaz seized her hand, keeping it on the railing. He didn’t look at her. “Stay,” he said, his voice rough stone. “Stay in Ketterdam. Stay with me.”

She looked down at his gloved hand clutching hers. Everything in her wanted to say yes, but she would not settle for so little, not after all she’d been through. “What would be the point?”

He took a breath. “I want you to stay. I want you to...I want you.”

“You want me.” She turned the words over. Gently, she squeezed his hand. “And how will you have me, Kaz?”

He looked at her then, eyes fierce, mouth set. It was the face he wore when he was fighting.

“How will you have me?” she repeated. “Fully clothed, gloves on, your head turned away so our lips can never touch?”

He released her hand, his shoulders bunching, his gaze angry and ashamed as he turned his face to the sea.

Maybe it was because his back was to her that she could finally speak the words. “I will have you without armor, Kaz Brekker. Or I will not have you at all.”

Speak, she begged silently. Give me a reason to stay. For all his selfishness and cruelty, Kaz was still the boy who had saved her. She wanted to believe he was worth saving, too.

ITERATE AGAIN, INEJ DONT WANT 90 PERCENT OR 99 PERCENT SHE WANTS 100 OR NOTHING WOW. i mean my shipping heart says NOOO buT shes right. kaz gotta figure out his shit and then share that vulnerability w her and maybe they can be truly together. UGH BUT THIS SCENE my god

Van Eck taunting Wylan and shitting on him for not being able to read was disgusting and i will fight him. I WILL PROTECT WYLAN WITH MY HEART! HES TRYING HIS BEST AND WORKING WITH WHAT HES GOT AND HE SAVED THEM ALL SO MANY TIMES. GET THIS PEDO OUT OF HERE FUCK THIS GUY

“That’s why you disappeared during the journey,” said Jesper. “You weren’t helping Matthais care for Nina. You were hiding.”

“I didn’t hide.”

“You...how many times was it you standing beside me on the deck at night when I thought it was Kuwei?”

“Every time.”

pekka rolllins. wow. what a man. i expect great things to happen between kaz and him. i truly did think kaz killed him back in the ice court lol but im glad he saw the grand plan and waited it out. hes a man of patience. i can respect that.