#you thought this is going to be about her being a hoe jokes on you its a wholesome meme

[lowkeyremi]

JJK MEN AS DADS

How they are with their kiddos/babies ! ft. gojo, geto, choso, toji, and nanami

content: no curse!au fluff, established relationship (marriage), children, families.

Gojo Satoru

"Look at my little boy, he looks just like me, what a heart stopper you'll be when you get older!" He praises his two year old, Kenji Gojo.

"'Toru stop trying to manifest our son into a hoe." Satoru turns to you with a loud gasp, eyes wide, and it causes your little boy to giggle.

"How could you say such words, in front of him? Don't listen to Mommy. Daddy was never a player. Never ever!" Kenji has no clue what's happening he just laughs at his father's dramatics.

"Oh brother, I hope he doesn't turn into a drama queen like you. And yes you were a player before I got with you. Remember when you kissed my friend then like ten minutes later tried to kiss me?" Satoru was a menace in college. Every time you bring up that specific college memory he always says-

"Ugh, blame Suguru! He was the one who made me take shots when I didn't like to drink." There it is. That was excuse for two-timing you and your best friend back then.

"Save it for someone who believes you. Kenji, don't be like Daddy when you grow up, okay?" Your husband knows you're joking but he can't help but whine and feel like you're being against him.

"Otay Mommy! Daddy is hoeeee. Hoe hoe hoe. Merry Christmas!" Your poor little boy thinks he's saying the noise Santa makes instead of a derogatory term and it's hilarious.

Of course you encourage him, "Daddy's a what?"

"Hoe!" Kenji screams out with a smile on his face. Satoru frowns loosing his playfulness.

"I-i guess my family just hates me... no one loves me." He sighs loudly to sell it to you guys but you don't buy it. He sits in the corner pretending to cry. "Boo hoo..." Kenji waddles his way over to his father patting his head.

"No cry Daddy, you not a hoe. You Daddy." Satoru fakes a loud gasp when he hears his son comfort him, thinking Satoru is actually crying.

"Really?!" He asks the little boy standing next to him.

"Yeah, Daddy is cool!!" Satoru chuckles, picks up is little boy and tosses him into the air. The small white haired child screams in delight as his father catches him, and you can't deny that all the trouble you and Satoru had in your relationship was worth seeing this.

Geto Suguru

"And then, the monster ate the twin girls who didn't go to sleep at their bed time-"

"Ooooookay. I think that's enough bed time stories from Papa." You say ushering your girls to bed, Hana looks scared out of her mind but Kana's eyes are sparkling with curiosity.

"Awww, Mommy, it was just getting good!" Kana whines, you know she wants to hear whatever else Suguru makes up on spot but he scared Hana who looks like she wants to cry.

"I know sweetie, but I don't think Hana really liked that story." The girls are six and full of energy at any given time.

"Come on baby, let me tell Kana the rest." Suguru matches his daughter's tone, knowing you'll give in.

"Alright, fine, but you need to apologize to Hana, look at her." Your husband looks at his younger twin daughter and he does feel kind of bad for scaring her like that. Suguru likes telling scary stories and myths to his girls just like his father had done to him. He always thought they were super cool.

"Oh, Hana, sweet girl. Papa's sorry. I didn't mean to scare you like that. How about I tell you and your sister a different story?" Hana looks a little doubtful as do you, but Suguru grants you a smile. He knows you trust him so you give him a stern look before kissing his forehead.

"Don't take too long, I need my cuddles." He smirks, kissing your hand, "Of course my dear."

The twins coo in unison at their parents romantic gestures, they think it's the coolest thing ever. "You girls have your stuffed animals?" He asks them and they nod together waiting for his story.

He tells the two about a princess who needed saving. Her long lost sister came to save her from a scary dragon and they lived happily together.

"That sounds like me and Hana!! I fought the scary dragon and Hana was the princess!!!" Kana says with excitement. Sometimes Suguru sees two little girls he used to foster in his own girls. He wonders how they're doing these days. They're probably grown up by now or at least in their late teens.

"I really wish Mommy had let me name you guys Nanako and Mimiko." He whispers with a soft smile. Kana looks at him in confusion rubbing her tired eyes, Hana's already asleep.

"Huh?" Kana asks.

"Nothing my dear, good night, little one." He tucks her into bed and gives her a tend kiss on the forehead.

"Night night, Papa." She says with a yawn and Suguru makes his way downstairs to join you.

Kamo Choso

Choso bites his lip looking down at his son, the boy looks a lot like you he thinks. Ryuji is his name, you let him name him. "I didn't mean to break it." He whines to his father. Choso has a soft spot for his boy. He reminds him a lot of his little brother Yuji.

"I know bud, but what will we tell Mom when she gets home?" Ryuji had accidentally broken your favorite ceramic mug. Choso was not sure what he signed up for when he got you pregnant but it sure wasn't this.

He and his son were always getting scolded by you. Every time Ryuji gets into some kind of trouble it also happens to be Choso's fault for not watching him closely as you always say. The truth is, Ryuji seems to get into trouble even with his father watching him closely.

"Um... we can tell her it was at the edge of the counter and i walked past it and it fell down. Then it will be her fault for leaving it by the edge." Choso smiles at his devious ten year old. He knows lying is bad but if you heard what really happened you'd scold both of them.

What actually happened as that Ryuji was playing in the kitchen, even though you've warned him against it many times and he knocked your mug down onto the ground.

"Good idea, kid. I don't want to hear Mom yelling again. I might get couch treatment again." Choso shivers at the idea of sleeping on the cramped couch rather than in his warm bed with you.

"You remind me a lot of your Uncle Yuji." Choso says ruffling his son's hair. "You and Mom keep saying that and I don't know if that's good or bad."

"It depends. Yuji can be both." Choso chuckles. His son gives him a crushing hug.

"I love you dad, you're doing great." And Choso didn't know how much he needed to hear those words but they were getting to him.

Fushiguro Toji

"Quit kicking your Ma, ya little brat." He threatens your swelling belly. He gives you a questioning look when you glare at him. Those emerald eyes challenge yours in a staring contest.

"What is with you and threatening our unborn children?" Your question is followed by a giggle.

"Gotta let the brats know who's in charge." He blows out a breath and puffs his chest, you find the whole ordeal ridiculous. The man is a girl dad for crying out loud. Even his oldest, your step-son thinks his father is a clown. And before Tsumiki died there were three daughters in his life.

He thinks your third one is bound to be a boy, but you're secretly hoping for a girl just to further sink Toji's idea of having a little boy to boss around. Megumi comes around maybe twice a month to see his little half-sisters, which means Toji is surrounded by girls all the time.

You like to joke around with him and say, "What do you know? Girls seem to follow you wherever you go." He always grumbles about it being stupid and unfair.

"As I was saying-"

"DAD!!!!! MY HAIR OH NOOOOOOO." Toji's up off the couch in seconds answering at his daughter's beck and call.

He walks into her room to see her braid was messed up. "What happened, Doll?" He asks her, undoing the braid so he can redo it.

"Yui undid my braid!! She took my hair tie and ran to her room!!!" She squeals, in horror at her little sister's thieving.

"Oh did she now? I'll go have a talk with her once I braid this back up." He's gentle with his tender-headed daughter. He quickly braids her hair back up, the pattern memorized. 100% self indulgent bc im tender headed.

"I have this green hair tie, is that okay, sweet girl?" She sighs quietly. "Where are the blue ones?" Toji clicks his tongue. "I can go get one real quick if you hold the end of this braid." He tells her and she's quick to do it. Her favorite color is blue after all.

She cheers when her father returns with a blue hair tie. He ties it up quickly, "Okay let me go talk to Yui." Nami nods brushing out her baby doll's hair.

Toji makes an appearance in front of his four year old's door, she's making her dolls scream at each other. "What was da reason?!!!!" She screams pretending to be one of the dolls, "I had a reason." She makes the other say.

Toji rolls his eyes, his daughter has been watching too much TV with you. "Excuse me miss Cardi B, why did you steal your sister's hair tie?" His hands are on his hips and his eyes are squinted to add to his authority.

"Whattttt, Dad, you know dat?" She asks as if her dad lives under a rock.

"Tch I'm not old, I know what memes are. Now answer the question." She rolls her eyes. You tell Toji she gets her attitude from him.

"If you haf to know I needed it, so I could give Sprinkles a ponytail." Sprinkles is the dog Toji said he was NOT going to get for his girls but caved in and got anyway.

"Ya coulda asked me or your Ma for one rather than stealing it right from your sister's hair." She shakes her head in disagreement. Toji wonders what's going on in her head right now.

"Dad you don't get it! It had to be that one!"

"Why that specific hair tie?" She goes silent turning away from her father and mumbling something Toji can barely hear.

"Speak up, princess." She scoffs and sighs and folds her arms. Wow the sass is unreal.

"Sprinkle thinks Nami is super cool so she wants what Nami has." Toji isn't stupid he knows his daughter is using the dog as a place holder for how she admires her older sister. Yui doesn't like to admit it though.

"Are you sure it's Sprinkle who thinks Nami is super cool?" He gives her the chance to be open with him and she sighs taking the bait.

"I guess. I think Nami is super cool." She murmurs and Toji smirks.

"It's alright to think your sis is cool, Dad didn't get to grow up with any cool siblings. Just annoying cousins."

"Mai and Maki are cooler than you, Dad, not annoying!" The man in question raises his brow his smirk never leaving, "Okay since I'm not cool. I guess I won't take you out for treats anymore when Ma says no."

Little Yui gasps, bursting upward like a rocket and running toward her dad. She hugs his leg, her little head looking up at him, "I was kidding Dad. You're super cool. Please don't stop taking me for treats!!"

Toji smiles, picks up his little girl and tickles her. She screams out for him to stop, "Huh? I can't hear what you're saying."

"Nami help!!!!"

In seconds Nami's attacking her father in a playful manner, "Let go of my sister!!"

"Okay then." Toji holds his daughter upside down by her feet, as she screams some more. "MA!!! HELPPP!!!!"

"Toji put her down." You say in a half-hearted manner.

"She is down. Upside down."

Nanami Kento

"See, you're getting the hang of it, Hiro." Kento softly encourages his son who's struggling with his math homework. You had tried to help him but he screamed that what you were saying didn't make sense. So of course you yelled back, letting your emotions get the better of you.

Kento had stepped in to keep you two from ripping each other's heads off. Plus all that screaming had woken up the baby. You could hear her crying.

That was about an hour ago. You quietly walked into the dining room with your seven month old baby girl cuddled up to your chest as you held her tight.

The sight of your husband helping your son warmed your heart, but you also felt guilt hot in your stomach for yelling at him, he's only twelve.

"Hey, Hiro. Can I talk to you, hon?" You ask softly. Both your son and Kento turn their heads upon hearing your voice. He nods at you and you inhale deeply, "I'm sorry for yelling at you, bud, I didn't mean it."

His eyes soften as do Kento's.

"I'm sorry too, Mom. I started it. You were just trying to help me." Kento's smile encourages you to walk closer to the table which you do.

"We should have had Dad come help in the first place, huh? I'm not good at explaining." Hiro shares a laugh with you, and Kento cups your cheek.

"Explanations might not be your strong suit but you're still a good mother, baby." Hiro gags at his father calling you "baby" he hate when you two get sappy.

You move your head a little so you can kiss his palm. As expected Hiro covers his eyes and making more throwing up noises.

"Oh hush, one day you'll find someone for you, and you'll be just like me and your mother." Kento says rolling his eyes and you giggle. Even though you guys have your differences you guys always forgive each other at the end of the day.

Your little girl coos quietly and Kento holds out his arms gesturing for his little girl.

"She's just had dinner, so she might fall asleep on you." Your warning doesn't bother him at all, if anything, you'll probably have more pictures to add to your baby gallery on your phone if she falls asleep in his arms.

She's already a dad's girl and she's only seven months old. You thought maybe Hiro would be a mama's boy but he's definitely his daddy's son.

You don't mind though, well, sometimes you're a little jealous that you have to share your man with your kids. Kento's a very lovable man though, so you can't blame them.

[wonysugar]

fuck you stupid | ning yizhuo

synopsis : you thought you’d seen it all with her, but no, she somehow managed to surprise you even further.

pairing : bimbo!ningning x fem!reader

genre : bffs to... fwb?? idk they just fuck,, so obviously smut too! xx

tags : yall got lost help, fingering, degradation, belittling, dumbification, car sex, she's so stupid but she fucks you good so it's okay, very slight cunnilingus, she slaps you like once so impact play!

warnings : none!

word count : 1.6k

you, y/n l/n, weren’t exactly smart, but you also weren’t exactly stupid. like yeah, you weren’t a genius per se, but it’s not like you were brain dead either. average was the term you always used to describe your intelligence.

you unfortunately couldn’t say the same about ning yizhuo, your best friend. 

you loved her, like that’s your bitch, of course you love her! however, you’d be lying if you said that she was intellectually capable, because she just wasn’t. god, she was just so, so painfully stupid?? clumsy??? careless???? all of the above applied when it came to this woman. not even to be mean or anything of the sorts, just, yknow… natural selection at its finest.

she was aware of that, though, and even thrived in being the self proclaimed bimbo everyone knew and loved. (to which you wholeheartedly agree with, by the way) and honestly? you just couldn’t stop teasing her about it whenever you two hung out. things similar to “stupid hoe” and “dumbass” always escaping your mouth as you two laughed, probably moments after she bumped onto something on the sidewalk whilst spilling all the tea to you. 

in summary, she’s done stupid shit before, but nothing, nothing could ever top what she had done that day.

the day she got the both of you lost in some random parking lot at like, 2 am.

“ning, we’re fucking lost.” you told her, eyebrows furrowed in frustration as you watched her giggle nervously.

she grabbed her cellphone and hovered her finger over the power button, “oh come on y/n don’t be like that, i can just go on google maps and we’ll be out of here in no ti-“

a black screen.

she cleared her throat hesitantly, sighed, then pressed the button again.

nothing.

she kept doing that, giving longer presses to the side of her phone in hopes of a miracle . your patience was running thin and you were quite frankly not far from panicking.

after the 27th-ish try, you finally snapped at her.

“fucking hell ning do you not charge your damn phone??” 

“sorry that i forgot to?” 

oh she had to be joking. 

“girl oh my god what the fuck?? we’ll stay stuck here for only god knows how long and it’s all gonna be because ‘ning yizhuo forgot to charge her phone beforehand’ for fuck’s sake.” you closed your eyes and pinched the bridge of your nose in exasperation. trying to calm down, you ignored ning’s gaze.

her stupid annoying yapping wasn’t helping at all. like, at all.

“oh so we’re once again blaming me, got it. y/n you didn’t even bring your own phone, how do you have the audacity to put the blame on me.” she said back, her eyebrow raised up as she threw her phone down on her skirt, sighing exasperatedly. 

“because someone told me it was her turn to get the aux.”

“where in that sentence did i ever tell you not to bring your phone??”

“god, ning just- just stay quiet. okay? just- please shut up, i’m trying to think. we can’t rely on you for anything.” you told her, exasperated.

in response, she scoffed, “no?? no i won’t, actually. you’re always putting the blame on me and it’s seriously starting to piss me the fuck off. yeah i’m a bimbo, whatever, but does that mean that you have to talk to me like i only have two barely functioning brain cells??” 

“oh please, saying you have two functioning brain cells would be wayy too generous. you’re always doing the stupidest shit out of the two of us. i mean fuck, you literally drove us here, in the middle of nowhere. you’re not a bimbo, you’re just fucking dumb, ning.”

when you looked back at her, she seemed hurt. like, 

a wave of guilt quickly washed over you upon seeing her pained, pained expression. she looked into your eyes, frustration and sadness clearly showing into her own. yeah, she looked pissed. you wanted to apologize almost immediately, and you were going to, 

if she didn’t suddenly press her lips onto yours before you could even get a word out. 

-

how do best friends make up after a fight?

usually, they talk it out, they go out, hug it out then get milkshakes or whatever, hell, sometimes they just go a day or two without talking then eventually forget about it.

this? this was none of that.

since she planted a kiss on your lips, you, instead of doing anything stated above, were fucking.

like, yeahh you were still lost, but at least you were getting your pussy ravaged. the situation could be handled later; when you weren’t drenched.

throwing your head back as you moaned out ning’s name, you were straddling her in the backseat of her car, feeling her two fingers deep inside you and stretching you out. she looked up at you with lustfully hooded eyes as she kissed and left very visible marks all over your neck, all the way down to your collarbone, her free hand fondling your tits, lazily playing with the nipple. 

“f-fuck ning keep going i’m sososo close- fuckfuckfuck..” feeling yourself getting pushed closer to the edge by the friction you felt, you bucked your hips faster onto her digits. the knot tying in your stomach felt like it would’ve snapped any second now, that is,

until she stopped moving her fingers altogether.

frustrated, you whined loudly, “ninggg please let me cum pleaseplease-” 

“oh yeah? so now you wanna rely on me for something, and it’s to make you cum?” she laughed. “fucking slut. i’ll make you cum whenever i want to, got it, bitch?” she added, pressing her thumb on your swollen throbbing clit, smirking condescendingly and watching how pretty you looked when pleasure contorted your face.

you unintentionally clenched at her words, nodding shamefully. it was embarrassing enough having your best friend knuckles deep inside of you, having her call you names and whatnot, but the real embarrassing part? 

enjoying it thoroughly.

she knew this, she knew she had you wrapped around her finger at that moment and oh was it such a power trip for her. seeing you be so needy for her touch, you almost started riding her fingers yourself, too. she was always the one being treated like a dumb bitch, it was nice being on the other side of things, for a change. 

she kept twisting and pulling on your nipple with her free hand as she slowly started to slide her fingers up and down your walls again, giggling and paying close attention to how your body shook and twitched at each and every one of her slow movements. what a sight to see. 

“you like being fucked stupid hm?”

and that’s what she did,

seconds,

minutes,

what felt likes hours,

you were sloppily bouncing and grinding on her fingers, speed ranging from a painful slowness to an overwhelming rapidity. 

you gripped her arms tightly, as if you would fall into some sort of void if you didn’t hold onto her for dear life. resting your head on her shoulder, you whined, losing yourself onto her. her fingers were still pumping in and out of you at that moment, faster than they were before, by the way, so it took you all of your body strength to not just cum right then and there, but you managed to hold back. for her, you held back and took all of it. every minute passing, every single motion feeling like it was threatening to make you go insane. 

“ning pleaseplease let me cum i wanna cum so badly fuck- pleasepleasepleasepleaseee-” you begged, looking down at her with pleading teary eyes.

“fuck, look at you. calling me a dumb bitch all the time, yet here you are, acting oh so stupid for my fingers. such a brainless needy little whore for me, hm? does my idiotic, pretty girl wanna cum?” 

you nodded eagerly as you whined, tears actively running down both of your cheeks, so desperate for release that you quite honestly didn’t care for how ridiculous you looked to her at that moment. you just wanted to cum, so, so, so badly, and you were ready to give up your dignity for it.

the sound of her hand slapping your cheek resonated in the car.

“say it. you know damn well i don’t accept pathetic sounds for an answer.”

“fuck— your idiotic pretty girl wants to cum pleaseee let her–”

she hummed, smirking at your response. incredibly amused by your behavior, she took her fingers out of you, picked you up by placing her hands on your thighs, then gently put you on the empty seat that was next to the one she occupied. upon seeing you sat comfortably, she proceeded to kneel down on the empty space between the front seats and the backseats. y’know,

the ones a grown woman couldn’t possibly fit in?

it’s okay though, like, yeah she would most definitely complain about back pain later, but right now?

she needed to feel you cum all over her tongue.

and that’s exactly what she worked towards, her tongue driven by the scent of your arousal to roam all over your folds and clit, kissing and sucking on every inch of your core as she attentively listened to all the sweet noises that came out of you. it really did not take long before your moans reached octaves you didn’t even know you could achieve before, an overwhelming wave of relief hitting you like a truck. you were 100% sure you would pass out afterwards.

at the end of the day, yeah, you both were still stranded in the middle of some unknown parking lot, but at least, the stress of it all evaporated in the air.

while you were trying to catch your breath, you made a mental note;

never underestimate ning’s intelligence when she was in a bad mood! or, do. depending on if you wanna get fucked stupid that day or not.

[f1byjessie]

A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS ━━ LN4.

sometimes the right words are hard to come across, and sometimes everything you need to say can be captured in an image.

( lando norris x photographer!reader )

━━ part three.

INSTAGRAM.

liked by mclaren, oscarpiastri, and 314,691 others

tagged: oscarpiastri, landonorris

yourusername is it time for bahrain yet?! can’t wait to see these two back in action again soon! 🧡

view all 4,981 comments

mclaren We keep asking ourselves the same thing! Our engines are ready and we’re raring to go! 🧡

↳ yourusername you truly understand me mclaren admin

↳ mclaren we think you’re the one who truly understands us y/n

↳ user y/n x mclaren admin?? 🤯 the plot twist none of us saw coming

user missing these lads so much lately

user THE RADIO SILENCE ON OSCAR’S SOCIALS WAS KILLING ME I DEPEND ON THESE MEN TOO MUCH THEY KEEP ME ALIVE 😭😭

user the f1 drought is real rn

user MCLAREN SUPREMACY 2024

↳ user i’m trying to be delulu but we all know it’s just gonna be the mv33 and redbull show again this year 🫤

user soooo are we all just gonna pretend like we didn’t see the pics of her with garrett ward orrrrr?

↳ user no bc i was just thinking the same thing 👀

↳ user wait that was actually her??? cuz you can like barely see her face so i thought it was just a joke???

user what a fake ass bitch

user she only posts other ppl on her acc cuz she knows her ugly ass face would scare everyone else away

user homegirl needs to stay tf away from my man fr 😤😤

user god what a hoe 😒 she already has these two that she could fuck with idk why she needed to go after garrett

user SLUT SLUT SLUT

user if she tries anything with anyone else on the city team i’m gonna lose my shit fr

↳ user same omg

↳ user honestly i’m just glad she didn’t go after grealish or haaland 🙌

↳ user she probably would’ve tried if they weren’t taken already 🙄

↳ user nah i bet she’s totally a homewrecker garrett’s probably just the first on her list

user oh… these comments… 😰

↳ user right???

INSTAGRAM.

liked by mancity, mclaren, and 198,131 others

tagged: mancity

yourusername the city boys know how it’s done! and looking pretty good in orange too 😉

view all 3,971 comments

mancity The lads are looking good indeed! This weekend’s match against Newcastle should be an exciting one! ⚽️🩵

mclaren ✍️ Jeremy ✍️ Doku ✍️ and ✍️ Ruben ✍️ Dias ✍️ McLaren ✍️ 2025

↳ mancity Do you think Lando Norris and Oscar Piastri would look good in sky blue? 🤔

user funny how she posts every city man BUT garrett

user god when does she go back to f1??

↳ user march iirc

↳ user well it can’t get here soon enough jfc

user FUCK OFF WE DON’T WANT YOU

user you’re a slag and should accept the fact that any guy would only want you bc of how easy you are

user i’ll bet my left leg that the only reason the f1 boys haven’t shacked up with her yet is cuz they know she’s probably riddled with disease since she drools over every guy that comes near her 😒 like girl needs to bffr and realize that throwing herself at every male in her vicinity isn’t gonna land her a husband and it just making her even more of a slut

↳ user nah i’ll bet they’ve all already done her over in f1 but nobody will touch her now that they’ve passed her round so she had to come over to football just to try and get someone to touch her again 🙄🙄🙄

user i hope garrett realizes how much of a slut she is and breaks up with her

user sick and tired of bitches like this getting with footballers and being all controlling. like i’ll bet she’s gonna tell garrett he can’t go out and party with his mates anymore bc he has to spend time in with her and then she’ll get all pissy about him having female fans bc she’s insecure and knows that if garrett got to meet a REAL fan he’d jump ship immediately. those of us who ACTUALLY care about footballers know their fans are super important to them and we wouldn’t hinder their relationship with them just bc we’re jealous or insecure. garrett needs to be with someone who actually supports him and is willing to let him do what he wants instead of controlling him like he’s a dog on a leash.

user kys like genuinely

user god i can’t wait for this skank to die 😒

“Hey Lando, it’s me. Your best friend. Again,” you give a humorless chuckle. “I could seriously use some of your wizened advice right about now, so, uh, please just give me a call back when you can. Thanks.”

It seems poetic in a cruel sort of way that less than a week ago you were walking Etihad Campus and feeling like you were on top of the world━ working a new albeit temporary gig, adding the Manchester City name to your list of clients, having photos of world-renowned footballers in your portfolio━ and now you’ve resigned yourself to hiding away in the women’s restroom, locked in a stall because it’s the only place you could think of where nobody would be able to find you.

You’re on the verge of tears and feeling rather stupid for it.

It’s the third time today alone that your call has gone straight to voicemail, and with the dozens of unread texts you’ve sent in the last week added to the mix, it’s starting to paint a picture you’re not very happy with. Lando is ignoring you. Or he’s blocked you. Or he’s blocked you because he’s ignoring you━

You bite down on your lip, hard, to keep back the sob crawling its way up your throat.

You’re not a PR officer, you hadn’t been lying when you told Garrett that, but you’ve spent enough time around the McLaren PR teams that you’ve picked up enough tips and tricks to know, at the very least, that the best thing you can do is just ignore the comments.

That’s what they tell all the athletes.

What they don’t tell the athletes is that ignoring the comments is much easier said than done, especially when your career requires you to have such a significant online presence. And the thing is, despite all of these strangers hounding you with every name under the sun and criticizing your capabilities, qualifications, and very existence, the thing that hurts the most is the radio silence from the only person you know could make it all better.

Now, more than ever, you need your best friend. But he isn’t here.

You tuck your phone into your jacket pocket and unlock the stall with great reluctance. You know better than to be hiding away, shirking your responsibilities while crying over a few missed phone calls. You have a job to do, and a real professional wouldn’t let something as simple as a handful of tasteless comments get in the way of that.

You should be used to them. It’s nothing you haven’t seen before.

Your first month at McLaren wasn’t entirely different.

When you were first hired on, Carlos had been in Formula One for a handful of years already and had built up a devotedly loyal fanbase with a decently large percentage of possessive fangirls who had come for your head the moment your existence had been announced.

The McLaren Instagram account had posted a picture of you standing between their two grinning drivers, your camera strung around your neck, with a very nice caption welcoming you to the team, and despite no indication that you were by any means involved with either of them in a way that went beyond professional, the comments had been taken over by feral teenage girls who saw the act of you simply standing near Carlos to be a direct threat against their “chances.”

Though it had been frustrating being met with childish threats and petty insults in your comments, you hadn’t really held it against any of them. You remember being a teenage girl and crushing on a celebrity. Deep down you knew you never had a chance with them, but that hadn’t stopped you from hanging posters in your bedroom and doodling their name beneath yours inside of scribbled hearts in your diary.

Regardless, it had taken close to a month for the negativity to die down, and you hadn’t had Lando then, either, so now shouldn’t be much different.

In fact, everyone on the Manchester City team━ trainers, physios, media coordinatiors, and anyone inbetween━ has been very polite about everything between you and Garrett. A lot of them have just avoided saying anything about it, which you’re very grateful for because you don’t think you’d be able to hold back your grimace while thanking them for their well wishes, and the few who have mentioned it typically only say something vague like a wishing you the best of luck or hoping you’re happy.

An intern gave you a sympathetic smile the other day, and you’d nearly burst into tears in the middle of the office of the Director of Communications, so you know you aren’t truly alone in this.

You just feel alone.

Exiting the bathroom is a simple affair. There’s no one standing post outside ready to give you any shit for being hidden away, and nobody comes sprinting around the corner as you make your way down the hall to the press conference room that’s been temporarily turned into your base of operations.

You think you’ll probably be able to go the rest of the afternoon without running into anyone, when you open your door and find━ sitting in the front row of the seats typically saved for journalists and the press, scrolling across his phone with a disinterested look painted across his face━ Jack Grealish.

“Jack,” you greet, a bit shocked. You close the door to the room gently behind you, and cross the distance to your desk. “Did we have a meeting scheduled? It must’ve completely slipped my mind, I sincerely apologize.”

He offers you a polite smile. “No, we didn’t, so no need to be sorry. I actually just wanted to check in. See how things are going with everything.”

You blink at him in surprise. Apart from Garrett, you haven’t really had much time to speak with the other players. They wish you good morning and good afternoon when they see you, and if a ball goes astray they always call out for you to watch your head, but between their morning training and their afternoon training, their strategy reviews at lunch, and the frequent in between meetings with physios, nutritionists, and trainers, they don’t get much time to chit chat with a simple photographer.

You clear your throat, “Erm, it’s going well. I’ve gotten some really good shots these past few days. There’s one with Rodrigo that I’m particularly proud of. It should do well with the fans.”

“And things with Ward?”

You purse your lips.

“Figured.” Jack sighs. “Look, nearly everyone you run into here knows or has at least some inkling into what he’s like. He’s a prick. None of the lads on the team like him, it’s why the managers are trying to get him out of here.”

You lower yourself down into your chair. “He told me they were planning to trade him off because of his reputation.”

Jack scoffs, “Yeah, ‘cause that’s the ‘official’ reason. They can’t cut his contract early for legal reasons, so they’re waiting for it to expire and coming up with an excuse for why they ain’t re-signing him. It’s really just ‘cause the rest of us can’t keep dealing with his massive ego and the fact that he’s a misogynistic fuck who doesn’t know the first thing about respect.”

“Fucking tell me about it,” you mutter with a sigh.

If he expected you to defend Garrett and is surprised by the fact that you haven’t, Jack doesn’t show it. He looks relaxed sitting across from you, like you’re having a casual conversation and not actively shit talking a member of his team. It gives you the impression that he knows significantly more about Garrett than you do, and that because of what he knows he probably figured out that one party in the relationship is not the most willing of participants.

“How’d you get all wrapped up it in then? Didn’t figure you to be the type to go after pricks like Ward.”

You debate over whether you should tell him or not. There isn’t much Jack can do about the situation regardless, but it would at least get things off your chest and if someone else knew then maybe you wouldn’t feel so alone anymore.

There’s only so many days you can spend hiding out in the women’s restroom trying not to bawl your eyes out, and you’ve already reached your limit.

You heave a sigh, “It’s kind of fucked up really.” A pen on your desk catches your attention and you start to fiddle with it, avoiding Jack’s eyes which have focused directly onto you. “He asked if I would help him fix up his reputation by pretending to be his girlfriend so he could show everyone that he’s matured and can hold down a steady relationship. When I told him no, he threatened to make up a lie about inappropriate conduct to get me fired and blacklisted from the industry, so for the sake of preserving my career I agreed.”

“Bloody fucking hell,” Jack murmurs, shaking his head. “I’m real sorry he did that, Y/N.”

You shrug. “It’s happened, so, there’s nothing I can really do except wait it out at this point.”

When you look up and meet his gaze, Jack looks murderous. His hands are clenched into fists on the armrests, knuckles white with the strength of his grip. His brows are furrowed, and his lips are twisted downward in a scowl.

“If you need anything,” he starts, “let me know. And I mean it. We all know how Ward can be. He’s a knobhead. So if you need anything━” his emphasis on the word and what that implies makes you feel more comforted than anything has since the whole fiasco started, “━then you let me know, or you tell one of the other boys and they’ll find me, alright?”

All you can do is nod.

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━━ tags: @maih23 @urfavnoirette @leclercsluv @f1luvur @formulaal @a-disturbing-self-reflection @starlightpierre @chezmardybum @marshmummy @405rry

━━ a/n: no lando yet, but we've got a cutesy little grealish scene to make up for it because i couldn't have a story with manchester city and not include him! lowkey writing this part made me wanna write for a footballer too... anyways! hope you all enjoy!

[ilwonuu]

𖥔 ͙ࣳ hate the club. k. mingyu

this fic is inspired by this song so pls listen to it <333

“tired of going out, scared ill run into you”

“damn you know i hate the club, but i came cuz i know you’d show up”

summary 𖡼 your friend group goes out every friday. you never feeling up to joining them. you always find an excuse not to come. but now you’re sitting at home with nothing to do. so why not drink a little and hangout with your friends at the club?? what could go wrong? seeing your ex could definitely happen..

warnings- ex to lovers!!, alcohol consumption, smut with semi plot. switch!mingyu, switch!reader, oral sex f.receiving, fingering, riding, pet names- baby,princess,unprotected sex(don’t do it), creampie, multiple orgasms, lmk if i missed anything pls<3

authors note- i read over this like once so if theres any spelling or grammar errors pls let me know!!! i hope u guys love this i loved writing it!!!!

you feel bored with no company tonight. not loving the presence of nothing of your apartment and stuff animals as you usually do. sending seungkwan a quick text telling him you’ll be joining him, seokmin, and chan tonight. getting a sassy text back as usual

kwannie😓- what the fuck. girl don’t play????

kwannie😓- u better not be lying because seokmin and chan are actually gonna be the death of me.

kwannie😓- be ready at 9 ok.

you- im not kidding hoe and yes i am already ready ish???

kwannie😓- ok ill be there at 9 😘😘😘

you smile to yourself continuing to get ready. checking to see if you have a good amount of time to finish your hair. happy to see you have enough time with it only being 8:15.

finishing everything you need to do finally making your way outside after getting a text from seungkwan saying that they have arrived. walking to his car somewhat nervous about what the night has in store for you. you never know you could meet someone? or see someone you absolutely hate.

getting into the car immediately being greeted by your best friends. “y/n!!!! i feel like im seeing a ghost you never fucking leave your house” chan says laughing causing you to send him a glare. “shush be happy im here for once okay”

“no seriously i thought my eyes were deceiving me when i read your text” seungkwan says quickly starting to head to the club they always go to. “ok guys thats enough let her live she doesn’t have to come out with us every time.” seokmin says giving you a slight smile.

“thank you seokmin. the only one who appreciates me” “okay but yes of course she doesn’t have to come out everytime. but she doesn’t come out anytimes!!! this is her first time in like 10 years” chan says laughing with seungkwan as he also finds chans joke hilarious. causing them both to receive a glare.

“very funny chan!!! i will get out of the car and walk back home.” you say looking at him threatening him playfully. “you’re dramatic” kwan says finally pulling into the parking lot of the club.

“im also very nervous to be here.” “if we see anyone we don’t like it’ll be fine y/n we don’t have to interact or anything” chan says knowing exactly who you were thinking of getting out of the car having the rest of you follow his lead into the club.

“yea you’re right..” you say slowly walking behind them into the loud crowd of people dancing. “ok first things first drinks!!!!” seungkwan yells dragging you all to the bar. chan seokmin order vodka shots happily, quickly running to dance in the crowd of people. “can we just get two shots of tequila each?” seungkwan asks for the both of you. smiling at the bartender when his drinks are set in front of you two. “okay lets drink these then lets dance!!!” seungkwan smiles at you quickly taking his shots now waiting for you to do the same.

you nervously take the shots making a grossed out face after downing it with a sip of water. seungkwan pulling you towards the crowd as soon as you were ready shortly finding seokmin and chan. “how do you guys get drunk so fast?” you laugh at seokmin and chan completely lost in the song dancing dramatically. “they are fucking lightweights” seungkwan says causing you both to laugh at them.

“i fucking wish. i only feel a little tipsy” you say scanning around the club with your eyes. “do you want to get more drinks or wait a bit then??” seungkwan asks while pulling you close to dance with him. “nah we can wait” you say over the loud music.

you are really trying to have a good time but this isnt really your thing. you were hoping that the drinks would losen your nerves up a little bit but you were so wrong. now you are dancing completely soberly with seungkwan. trying not to ruin your best friends night. “im gonna go to the bathroom real fast kwannie” you whisper to him before disappearing to find the bathroom. you quickly use the bathroom heading back over to the bar to get a couple more shots. “fuck why did i do this to myself” you say under your breath quickly downing the shots without water this time. feeling a little better making your way back into the crowd searching for any of the three boys you arrived with.

pushing through the crowd trying to find them. you accidentally push someone a little to hard quickly going to apologize. “i am s-so sorry.” you say realizing exactly who you bumped into having them turn and look down at you. “jesus you push fucking h-“ mingyu immediately freezes after seeing you. “fuck y/n? what are you doing here?”

“well this is a public place and a club so i would assume we’re here for the same reason.” you say sarcastically while trying to push past him. “well what are you doing by yourself?” he asks concerned stopping your movements. “where is seungkwan?” he looks around the club quickly scanning seeing if he sees anyone who looks like the boy. “well actually im not sure so if you’ll excuse me i will be continuing to look for my friends.” you say finally trying to push past him again.

“wait just let me help you look for them. it’s kinda depressing being here alone.” he says once again finally letting you push past him to continue looking. he follows behind you slowly. “so uh how have you been?” you scoff stopping to look at him. “are you serious right now? i really would rather not pretend to like you right now okay? just help me find seungkwan and then you can go back to whatever you were doing.”

you say sighing going back to looking for you friends. mingyu doesn’t say another word and just follows you quietly. “why don’t you call him?” he suggests. “i left my phone in seungkwans car like the bright fucking person i am.” you say getting more annoyed as the situation goes on.

“shit you wanna use my phone then? i still have his number from you know..” he says nervously handing you his phone after clicking on seungkwans contact. “y-yea thanks” you take his phone letting the memories wash over you. you patiently wait as the phone starts to ring and shortly someone picks up. “seungkwan??? where did you fucking go??” you are now getting more uncomfortable with the fact that you lost all of them in the span of 10 mins. “um what the fuck mingyu you sound like y/n also why the hell are you calling me?” seungkwan slurs over the phone questioning you. “seungkwan ur drunk. also this is fucking y/n im using mingyus phone dumbass!!” your voice sounding annoyed more now. “girl what? why are you using his phone? are you guys…? um back together?” he asks loud enough for both you and mingyu to hear.

you sigh looking at mingyus eyes go wide at what he just heard. “s-seungkwan can you just fucking tell me where you went? you know what fuck it im just gonna get an uber home okay im tired.” you say slightly tearing up at the stressful situation. “we just went to the bar upstairs y/n. are you sure you wanna leave already we’ve only been here for like an hour.”

seungkwan asks through the phone sensing that something is wrong. “do you want me to send seokmin with you? he said he will come with you.” he offers. “kwannie its fine ill just order it off mingyu’s phone. will you just drop off my phone tmr? i left it in your car.” you say finally after ending the call after hearing his okay.

“mingyu do you mind if i use your phone to order a uber?” you turn to mingyu hoping he will say yes. “yes of course y/n. but you don’t need to do that. cheol said he was here to pick up me and shua but im guessing shua is with some girl so cheol can just drop you off.” he says smiling at you. “okay um let me make sure i have my keys and fuck i don’t they are also in seungkwans car.” you say realizing as you feel your pockets. “wanna just stay at my place tonight?” he blurts out quickly. “mingyu- i- what?” now your confused, tired, and annoyed. “just come sleep at my place. its not that weird y/n. what’s the chance seungkwan is gonna come unlock his car rn? come on i’ll drop you off in the morning i swear.” “its not weird to you? we haven’t spoke in like a year.”

this was not a great idea. you and mingyu ended on somewhat bad terms. he wasn’t willing to commit to you. he ended up treated you like shit because of it. you know this has nothing to do with what he asked but it’s obviously on your mind. you are now confused, tired, annoyed, and overwhelmed.

“y/n i kinda need a answer now. cheol is outside.” he says snapping you out of your thoughts and back into reality. “u-uh okay yea lets go” you say immediately regretting it. mingyu smiles grabbing your hand making the way out of the club to cheols car. quickly getting into the back seat.

“whats up mingyu. hey y/n. y/n????? oh shit hi” he says now realizing that is is actually you. “hello cheol nice to see you” you say softly laughing. “yea you too. um are you guys back together?” he asks out of the blue. “nope!!” you quickly say hoping he doesn’t ask anymore questions. “just drive cheol.” mingyu says and mentally thank him because cheol didn’t ask anymore questions driving silently. you two make it to mingyu’s house after a 10 minute car drive. “ah fucking finally these heels are literally the worst” you say walking into his house kicking them off as you go. “you can borrow some clothes. i think i even have your old pjs in my room.” he says taking off his shoes as well. “im surprised you even still have those.” you say making your way to his room. the memories coming back as you seen his room looks the same way it did when you guys were together. you grab the pajamas making your way to his bathroom quickly changing heading back into his living room. “you want to take my bed? i can sleep out on the couch.” he says throwing a pillow and blanket onto the couch. “no mingyu its fine i can take the couch. you can have your bed.” you say laughing at him slightly going to sit on the couch. “or you can sleep in my bed with me.” mingyu says looking at you cautiously. now leaving you pressured at what he is offering right now. “mingyu. what are you doing? you know that isn’t a good idea. we aren’t together anymore.” you say laying down getting comfortable. “i know we aren’t. but fuck y/n have you not been thinking about us at all? or anything that we had. i miss it. i miss you.”

you look at him with a blank expression. what the fuck do you say? of course you think about him and your relationship. more than you should. “mingyu i do okay. i never stopped really but im not in the mood to get hurt again okay.” “i fucking promise you i will never treat you the same way i did okay?” he moves to sit next to you on the couch moving to grab your hands. “let me make it up to you? let me show you i can be there for you. i want to be the boyfriend you deserve. will you just give me a chance?” you think for a couple seconds.

he seems genuine. you did miss him a lot. a chance doesn’t hurt right? “okay mingyu. i will sleep with you in your bed okay. but i swear if you do anything like how you did before the break-“ he kisses you softly shutting you up. “i promise.” he says holding his pinky up

you wrap your pinky around his smiling as he lifts you and carries you to his room. softly throwing you onto his bed and climbing next to you. “you don’t know how much i missed you. i thought i was never gonna see you again.”

“yep that was the plan until i saw you at the club.” you state not wanting to lie to him. “well im so glad i saw you.” you smile at him. “can i make it up to you? ill make you feel so good y/n if you let me please.” hes already begging and you guys haven’t even done anything but a kiss.

he was always like this. he would immediately get needy after one small touch. mingyu was definitely a fucking switch. most of the time he loved being in control and seeing you beg for him. but everyone knew mingyu always leaned towards the subby side. he will listen to your requests always. if you’re happy he’s happy.

you nod softly at him watching him quickly shift between your legs pull down your shorts and underwear in one swift movement. kissing up your thighs slowly making your breath hitch under his touch. “fuck you’re so wet and i haven’t even touched you baby.” slowly moving his fingers up your slit inserting a finger in. his fingers immediately hit your g-spot causing you to already squirm until his firm touch.

“fuck you’re so tight. i can barely move my finger babe.” watching you closely as he inserts a second and third finger quickly watching as you get wetter from his touch. “g-gyu please more i need more.” you beg him hoping to add something extra to get you closer to your high.

“shh baby let me take my time i promise you’ll get everything you need okay?” he says sweetly pulling his fingers out of you with the noise of your squelch filling the room. “you hear yourself baby? you’re making a mess on my bed already hm?” he coos at you shifting so that his head is in between your legs. gently grabbing your thighs to spread your legs. “i bet you taste as sweet as i remember hm? could eat you for fucking days.” he immediately dives into eating your pussy. licking your slit as he slides one of his fingers back inside you.

“g-gyu oh my god.” eyes rolled back having your back arched as he absolutely devours you roughly sucking your clit fucking his finger into you quicker. looking up at you through his eyelashes not stopping his movements. not even to praise you. he is too pussy drunk and doesn’t want to stop anytime soon. grabbing a hold of his hair pulling on it when his finger hits that spot again making you go crazy. “m-mingyu i’m gonna cum please don’t stop.” and he doesn’t he sucks on your clit harder keeping up his pace with his finger. you come all over his tongue and his fingers. fucked out completely as you watch mingyu lick up your cum and hum.

“you taste so sweet princess. fucking delicious baby.” he smiles at you again moving up to kiss your lips. tasting yourself on his lips.

“what do you want baby? i will give you anything you want.” pulling his shirt over his head looking at you waiting for your answer. “can i ride you? g-gyu please i need you so bad.” he nods quickly. “m’course you can” he moves so he’s sitting up against the headboard of the bed. watching as you move onto his lap.

you have never seen mingyu take his pants off quicker. immediately pulling his dick out pulling your face closer to peck your lips. smiling into the kiss lining up his dick with your entrance slowly sinking down onto him.

mingyu is always more subby with this position immediately begging and pleading for your touch. “f-fuck y/n please move i need it so bad please baby.” he begs you trying not to fuck his hips into you.

you slowly rock your hips into his moaning at the feeling holding onto his shoulders for support. “you’re so tight im gonna cum so quick. i-i’m fuck i’m sorry” grabbing ahold of your hips to move you quicker on him. “i’m so close baby fuck.” he says feeling you bouncing on his dick now trying to chase your own high. “m-me too.” he groans lowly feeling his dick twitch inside of you. “f-fuck can i cum inside or where do you want it?” “inside p-please.” he doesn’t have to be told twice immediately cumming inside of you throwing his head back lost in the intense pleasure

you don’t stop bouncing on him. “babe i’m so sensitive fuck.” he says to you still fucked out holding onto you.

you nod. “i know baby but please you can last a little longer right? for me right? my good boy.” you try to turn him on with your words knowing it will go straight to his dick. he moans at your words pulling you into a quick kiss. “y-yes i’m so good for you.”

you smile at him quickening your movements now really needing his shoulder for support as you feel yourself coming. “f-fuckkk look at you c-creaming on my cock oh shit im gonna cum again.” you feel his cum shoot immediately into you. moaning at the feeling riding out both of your highs.

slowly climbing off of his lap laying next to him. “i missed you so fucking much.” he says pulling you under the covers with him kissing your forehead. “i missed you too but i don’t miss how you think i just want to lay here feeling your cum leak out of me.” you say playfully shifting to show him the puddle that is now under your crotch.

“its fine baby we can shower in the morning. plus what if we fuck again. you’ll just be full of my cum again.” he says with a straight face. you roll your eyes burying your face into his neck.

“i guess we’ll have to explain to seungkwan and cheol why we told them we weren’t back together…” you think out loud before falling asleep in your boyfriends arms.

[kissforyouu]

Can you write a drabble of Oc being mad at him because some old fling sent him a pic through his DM’s and she saw, even though he never responds to the girl she still got mad

your eyes go completely wide, your expression just— shocked. wait, no, no! jumpscared is the right word. you grit your teeth while staring down at your boyfriend's phone displaying the nude photo of some other woman. and you couldn't help but think that if this was proof of jungkook cheating on you, you would've gone crazy on spot. but fortunately, it's not.

still though, due to your own suspicions you scroll up the chat only to be met with messages exchanged about 5 months before you two's relationship started. thank fuck, he is not cheating. you just almost had a heart attack.

still, you were mad though. the audacity for this bitch to send nudes to a man who's clearly in a relationship. it's not like jungkook doesn't post you, he posts you on all his socials, there's no way she wouldn't know. shame on her, she's just embarrassing herself.

but that's not even what made you mad, though. it's the fact that jungkook had already viewed it. he's already seen the picture and had left it on seen. despite being glad that he didn't reply or anything, you still couldn't help but feel jealous over the woman. you had everything she didn't - jungkook. he has just left her on seen, hasn't even bothered to block her!

you huff, blocking her yourself. fucking hell. great, now your entire mood's ruined.

"my phone's with you?" here he comes.

you don't say anything bad, clearly upset with him.

"i was looking for it. what'd you do with it?"

why? is he scared i'll find all his hoes?

you sit in silence. there was a big fat frown evident on your face, the face you often make when you're angry.

"y/n?" jungkook stands in front of you, raising his eyebrows wondering what the hell he did wrong again. he doesn't say anything but reaches forward to grab his phone from the grasp of your hand.

the moment he does that, you get up, storming out of his living room and into his bedroom. uh oh, you're stomping on the floor. —eek, here it comes ; jungkook pokes the inside of his cheek once he heard the door shut with a very loud thud. at this point, he was used to your attitude. but he just couldn't figure out why exactly you were mad at him.

—oh, nevermind. the man sighs, running his fingers down his face while he took a short glance at the explicit image sent to him by one of his old flings about a week ago. he didn't know you'd go through his instagram. coming to think of it, your attitude is justifiable. its his fault too, noh? he didn't block or anything. i mean, not his fault he doesn't even remember the girl's name.

but he noticed that you had already blocked her. he takes another deep sigh, eyes staring at his door, now closed. he had to console you somehow.

"baby?" your boyfriend knocks on the door thrice, and when you don't answer him, he decides he's gonna break in. it's his room anyway.

he walks in to be met with the sight of his pretty little (angry) girlfriend sitting on his bed, staring into the nothing of the nothingness. you looked cute, he thought. but now's not the time to pull jokes. (i think)

"my love." jungkook walks closer to you and bends down to meet your eyelevel on the bed. but you look away, avoiding his eye contact. he giggles, accepting the challenge and moving his face in front of wherever you're looking at. three or four of these and you're sick of him already, breaking into a whine as you slapped his shoulder.

"who the fuck is gianna and why's she not blocked?!" how come you remember the girl's name and not him when he was the one who talked to the girl for like, uh, uhhh, like, a few months or weeks, jungkook thinks.

"baby, she sent me that shit recently. i haven't talked to her ever since we both started dating, you know that very well. whatever you think happened, did not happen." he looks at you, waiting for a response.

he did say the truth though. you should—

"you're overreacting." nevermind. "overreacting" is crazy.

"i am NOT overreacting." you break your silence, "what would you feel if you saw the nudes of one of my exes on my phone, huh, jungkook?! bet you'd fucking LOVE that."

jungkook remains silent for a few seconds while you gave him the "told you so" look.

"don't fucking talk to me—"

jungkook flicks your forehead, forcefully pulling your upper body towards him so that your face would be pressed against his stomach. you let out muffled screams, completely annoyed.

"come on, i'm sorry, babyyy. we're fine, okay? i will immediately block and even report if this happens again. y/n—"

"eeek! i said don't talk! now—let me. go!" he had you on a headlock so it was harder for you to get out of his grip. you kept wiggling around like a worm, but in the end, you just give up, accepting defeat.

"i'm sorrryyy, my princess. you want my instagram pass? i'll give you. you know i love you only. i'm sorry i made you feel that way." he cups your cheeks, planting a sweet double kiss on your forehead.

but you just glare at him.

[bengiyo]

Wandee Goodday Ep 3 Stray Thoughts

Last week, Wandee wasn't feeling great after he was forced to call out Ter for trying to gaslight him about his feelings. Yoryak happened to see that and later rescued Wandee from Rain's (LITA) kidnapper and taking him home. Yoryak is managing his own sting at being rejected by Taem, but learned from her perspective to help Wandee. Our leads began their FWB arrangement and got to have fun with costumes (and some help from Kao) and rimming jokes. They set some rules that I expect Wandee to violate immediately. Cher and Oyei continued to be a great team.

Finally, after ten years of this, we finally acknowledge the most reliable act that two gay men can engage in with each other. They were having fun and joking with it! My Stand In, have several seats.

Curious about Yoryak's parents. Seems like there's a tragedy there.

Love that all the friends clocked the necklace on both ends and immediately called it out. Yoryak got roasted by his brother and not-in-law and I laughed so hard.

Kao does not believe the lies Wandee is telling himself.

Why are we spending time on hetero nonsense?

Not these two dancing around how much they're into each other.

I really love the team that Oyei and Cher have become before we met them. I love that Cher is helping Oyei balance these burdens he's taken on and is able to navigate his pride.

I think it's really important that the show gave us time with Wandee doing total care for a sick child and his mom, giving both of them what they needed in a serious situation.

Truly, someone please explain to these. Headed that Ter ain't gonna fuck them either!

Kao! Lie better! It really be your own hoes letting you down.

I'm interested in this boxing-based homophobia Yak has to manage and I wonder if Oyei being with Cher is the reason we haven't seen their dad.

I really love the way Oyei respects the physical limits of his boxers while being real with them about the obstacles they're facing and why they're pushing.

The fact that Yoryak hasn't taken the necklace back even though he's frustrated with Wandee says a lot. The show is using that detail well.

See, this is good writing. We used the seriousness of Oyei and Cher's relationship and their real worries about the gym to make this play from Wandee land properly. They also know that Wandee is the guy he's seeing so they're probably less concerned since they can supervise.

I'm so amped about this fight. I had hoped we'd have an excuse for Yoryak and Oyei to fight. We even get Cher holding his phone in the gayest way possible.

Oyei said he was not letting Cher go home and kicked his brother's ass.

Look at Wandee playing these fucking games. I am obsessed.

I love the no kiss rule and how badly Yoryak wants to break it. In another show I might be feeling things about the closet, but the fact that Yak has wanted to kiss for two episodes makes me trust the show.

I appreciate that despite how desperate he is, Wandee stopped when he reached a hard no.

Wandee completely misunderstood that Yoryak is a simp. All he had to do was be genuinely pathetic and he folded instantly. That's worked in literally episode.

I really hope Wandee appreciates that Yoryak is coming out to help him.

Thinking about that pasta they made in I Only Want to See You.

"You already experienced a bigger bite."

Okay, I love them ending on some soft affection before they fuck off screen.

Cannot overstate how important it is to me that we ended the last episode on Wandee telling Yoryak he needed to pay more attention to his dick and then opening on an enthusiastic 69. This episode was excellent, and I loved how well all of the moments worked with the major issue of the episode. I really love when episodic media feels episodic and I am eating good with this show. I love that for three episodes these two progress any time Wandee is sober and honest with Yoryak.

[strniohoeee]

Timeout

Pairing: Chris Sturniolo X Female Reader

Synopsis: Chris and Y/N are friends, but she wants to stir the pot a bit with their fans, so she does a TikTok trend that might set them off, and make more assumptions🤭

Warnings⚠️: None at all, this was a stupid idea I had in my head from watching TikTok’s about this trend. I’ll put the video at the end. Idk why I felt the need to write it but uhh enjoy??

Song for the imagine: Water- Tyla

I’ve been seeing on TikTok these videos going viral of girls testing their boyfriends by recording themselves with the song Water by Tyla while sitting next to their boyfriends to see if they’d look, and then if they do, putting them in timeout.

I loved these videos because almost every guy fell for it, and I thought it would be a good idea for me to do it to Chris.

Chris and I weren’t dating, but there fans always thought we were, and I wanted to stir the pot by posting this, and making them think we were together

However I didn’t tell Chris about this idea because I genuinely wanted to know if he knew the trend.

Him and his brothers are obviously on TikTok, but their pages are full of edits of themselves, so I wasn’t sure if he’s seen the trend or even seen the videos of the song

Chris and I were flirty with each other, but nothing crazy that’s how our personalities were. However the fans ran with that always, and made edits. I couldn’t wait to see what they would edit with this video I was going to make

We were all currently sitting on the couch mindlessly scrolling on our phones, and chatting here and there. I was leaning back at an angle, and Chris was next to me. Matt was next to Chris and Nick was next to Matt.

I got the song ready, and slightly turned up the volume, and lowered my brightness a bit. I started to record myself while the song played, and 5 seconds later Chris gives me the side eye before slightly turning his head

I was looking into the camera when my mouth dropped, and he looked at me scared.

“Did you just look to see if a girl was shaking her ass on my phone” I said

“What? NO” he said blushing

“Go sit in time out” I said pointing to the corner

He immediately got up and sat himself in the corner of the living room, and I recorded him

“Now stay there” I said laughing before ending the video

“I can’t believe his dumb ass fell for it” Matt said laughing

“Yeah and I knew he would too” I said shaking my head

“What an idiot Chris…OMG the fans are going to think yall are really dating” Nick said laughing

“I did that on purpose you know I had to stir the pot a bit” I said laughing with them

“That’s smart” Matt said

“Can I come out now” Chris said

“No….not until I think you’re ready” I said

“Not fairrr” he said whining

“Should’ve thought about that before being a snooper and looking over my shoulder” I said

Matt and Nick taking pictures of him and posting it to their stories

“I can bribe you” Chris said

I wasn’t sure why he was still in timeout. It was a joke, and he literally could’ve got up, but he didn’t. I wonder if he actually thought I was mad at him

I started to record him again, and he pulled his wallet out of his pocket and took cash out. He suddenly turned over on his hands and knees holding the bills out to me

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING” I said hysterical laughing

“Please forgive me. You can take my money” he said with his head down while holding the money up to him

“Chris I’m cryinggg right now. You can get up I was just joking” I said still laughing

“PFTT WHAT” he said and then suddenly got up putting the money back in his wallet

I was recording him stomping away

“This idiot really fell for it” Matt said to my camera

“He’s such a bitch” Nick said laughing

“HEY STOP” Chris said giving them the middle finger

I had posted both videos, and the way it went viral wasn’t even funny. The comments had us all cracking up laughing. Most assuming we were dating, them calling him whipped and a bitch and calling him a hoe for knowing the Tyla Water dance

We were cracking up laughing because this was the best joke against Chris, and he was so sour about it

“Cheer up” Matt said laughing at him

“Oh shut up” Chris said

“Mr tough guy over here” Matt said

“Yeah yeah whatever” he said sticking his tongue out at him

Eventually he got over it because it was in fact funny the way he acted. I loved bothering Chris is was so much fun

The End

This was so dumb but idk I just wanted to write it😔 anywho I got more ideas in my brain that are actually better than this I SWEAR🤞🏽

-J💅🏽

[heliads]

Hello hey can you do some fluff with Thomas ? 🥰please

when they are talking in the safe heaven they was mutual pinning for them since the glade. She was all ways there for him and vice versa. They are a balancing personality. She was pessimistic and he was optimistic. But they have matching energy: one day he make a stupid joke and she says «  why I’m in love with you remind me «  but she didn’t mean to, and Thomas was surprised because they were in love it was obvious and didn’t stop teasing her for it.

Ps : Newt and Teresa are alive

i believe in newt and teresa being alive

masterlist

There is no such thing as winning over Y/N. That’s one of the very first lessons Thomas learned upon entering the Glade, along with the other crucial ones such as ‘don’t pick a fight with Gally,’ and ‘for goodness’ sake, Greenie, stop trying to go in the Maze.’ Still, he’s not inclined to give up yet. On any of those topics, actually. 

Thomas is not prone to surrender. He is a fighter, always has been. Or, he’d like to say that, if he had any idea what he ‘always has been’ in his life. There is Thomas now, Thomas when he first came up in the Box, and then a great expanse of nothingness before and after that. Blank emptiness is his past, unknowable odds his future. There is only Thomas in the present moment, so capable of changing his future that he doesn’t even know his past.

The nothingness makes it easier to remember the lessons. He has so few concrete memories in his head that the day-to-day events stand out in bright highlighter neon. Thomas can remember the sensation of a pen but never what brand he liked best nor what he might have written with it. Thomas does not know if he has ever worked in a garden growing up, but he knows what seeds can become and that he hates being a Track-Hoe, so he focuses on the last bit instead.

It makes him lie awake at night, spending hours staring up at a sky utterly foreign to him in the hopes of remembering any more of it. The constellation over his nose could have been his favorite, once upon a time, it could have been taught to him by a mother or father, but now it is just a broad handful of stars somewhere beyond his reach.

With so little to fill his head except fear and paranoia of the day before, Thomas is forced to conjure up something better worth his imagination, and more often than not, that happy thing becomes Y/N. Y/N is probably what Thomas will become sooner or later, once the initial rush of finding himself in the Glade wears off and he just grows sick of everything in sight.

Y/N has been here longer than most everyone here. The only rivals she has in terms of tenure would be Alby or the dead boys lying in a grave somewhere in the Deadheads. All that time stuck in these stone walls, and it taught her the importance of never getting your hopes up. Thomas met her the first time and thought that he might make it his goal to get her to smile.

He reached that after a few days, but that didn’t stop him from trying again and again. So what if Y/N is a realist who’s given up on dreaming of a way to get out of here, Thomas has enough heart for both of them and he’ll wield it just the same. Thomas sidles up to her at meals and tells terrible jokes until she has to sip at her water to hide a smile. He listens to her talk about everything that goes wrong in the Glade and intersperses recollections of what went well that day as well.

Slowly, surely, Thomas swears that she’s coming over to his side. He can win her friendship like a battle, a round of cards, anything he can make his own with enough dumb luck and a good few twists of fate. He’s come closer than anyone else, so that surely should count for something, right?

Thomas knows he’s getting there when the other kids start intervening. Minho takes it upon himself to tell Thomas that this whole thing is a lost cause. Been there, done that, Minho says one day while they’re out mapping a sector of the Glade, you’re going to have to give up eventually, and you know that. Y/N doesn’t want to suddenly become an optimist. It’s not going to happen.

I don’t want her to suddenly become an optimist, Thomas argues back, I just want her to like being around me even if I’m one.

Later that day, while they were taking one of their few much-needed breaks, Thomas had dared to ask Minho more in between desperate sips of water.

You knew her at the start, didn’t you? What was she like? He’d prompted.

Minho had sighed, stared at the water in his hands. She was like you. I never thought she’d give up on the hope that we’d get of here, and then she did.

Thomas had pushed for more details on just what had happened to change Y/N’s mind, but he hadn’t been able to get any additional facts out of Minho other than a recollection of several Gladers lost without any monumental change in their slow slog towards getting answers out of the Maze.

Mainly, though, what had done Y/N in was time. She’s spent three years here now, three years without any sign that they’ll ever leave. Fine, then, Thomas decides. If Y/N can’t see a world in which they ever get out of here, he’ll forge a new one just to make her eyes light up again.

He’s good on his word, too. When Thomas finds the way out, when their entire way of life goes awry and Gally tries to exert his control over the Glade, Thomas fights his way out with his friends. He shows Y/N the door out of the Maze, and he takes her through it.

Thomas doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to forget the look on her face when they step out into the sunlight for the first time. The sun was still there in the Glade, obviously, but it isn’t the same when you can feel the shadows of the Maze walls on your back with every other breath. Out there in the real world, though, that was something else altogether.

It was good, even when they were fighting for their lives in the Scorch. They spent their days terrified of Crank activity, but when the sun sank beneath the horizon and they were finally able to rest in whatever meager shelter that crossed their path, Thomas looked at Y/N and he knew that her hope was back. It was enough to make him keep fighting for a better life. It was enough to make him feel infallible.

And they did it, didn’t they? They found their way out. Thomas is reminiscing about old, worse times from his hut in the Safe Haven, far away from harm. Cranks cannot reach them here, nor WICKED, nor anyone else. He is here with his friends and Y/N, and he could not want for anyone else.

The final fights were the worst of Thomas’ life. He lost allies, but he saved some, too. Thomas doesn’t know that he’ll ever experience a fear quite like the one ricocheting through his chest when Newt was bitten. For a few horrific minutes there, Thomas had thought that he might lose him, the one friend he’d had from the very start. 

Minho had made it back in time with the cure, though, and then Newt was blinking up at him with shocked eyes and asking what had happened. Thomas hadn’t been able to answer him, not for a while. He remembers standing there, clutching Y/N for support, knowing that without her there he might have collapsed to the ground by Newt’s side.

That was Y/N for him, Thomas supposes. Whenever he was low, she was high. They complemented each other perfectly. He held out hope when she couldn’t, and when he was in danger of losing himself, Y/N pulled him back from the brink. Survival does horrible things to us all, but sometimes it gives you salvation in the form of people. Y/N is his people. Y/N is all he has ever needed.

Y/N was the one Thomas was thinking about when he was fleeing Janson through a burning city. Y/N was the name on his mind when Thomas caught Teresa just before the roof caved in. When the explosion hit him too hard and Thomas passed out on the Berg carrying them away, her face was the last one that flashed through his head.

It is all okay, though. They have lived through the horrors, the desolation, the grief. All that is left for them now is a quiet sort of ending, an epilogue in which the heroes win and the villains are forgotten. Thomas rises with the sun and goes to bed with the moon, and slowly, carefully, he heals.

They do that together, too. Thomas hands over leadership duties of the new settlement to the others; he wants no part of that now, no forced maturity of any kind, and he runs away to the one person who will always want him now. It’s funny, looking back on the Glade, how Thomas had always operated with this slight fear that Y/N was just humoring him because they were both stuck in the same place. He knows now for a fact that was never the case.

She’s told him as much, both directly and through the little things. He picks a wildflower out of surprise that such a colorful thing could idly grow on the side of the road and she tucks it behind her ear for the rest of the day. He wakes with nightmares and she holds him until the dreams become just that, just dreams, just memories which can no longer touch him.

Thomas thinks for the first time that growing old sounds like something that he can finally ignore. In the Glade and Scorch, the thought of making it to infirmity was something of a dream, an impossibility he would never reach. Right now, though, Thomas wants all the time he can get his hands on. He’s desperate for it, greedy and drunk on every moment. He loves the little things. He is enchanted by the big events. All of it is his, and all of it is beautiful.

He finds Y/N in the mornings, the evenings, the afternoons. They walk until their feet ache and sleep until the sun has climbed far too high in the sky, laugh and cry and live. It is nothing like what he thought growing up would be like, but then again, he never thought he’d make it far enough to judge. Right now, he is happy.

Very happy. He turns to Y/N as they’re sitting by the edge of the water and tells some sort of stupid joke. He’s been prone to them recently, like some inner comedian has suddenly remembered it exists and dusted itself off for its fair share in his personality. Maybe the Thomas before the Maze liked being funny. He’s never had enough time to figure out who that was at all.

Thomas waits for Y/N to say what she usually says in response to his attempts at being funny:  laugh along, maybe, or swat him on the shoulder, or come up with an even better joke just to make fun of him.

Instead, she rolls her eyes fondly. “That was awful.”

“Great,” Thomas corrects, “I think you mean it was great.”

“I certainly do not,” she says, smiling, “Remind me again why I love you?”

It’s late in the evening, maybe she’s tired, maybe that’s why she slips up and says something like that. Neither of them have been willing in any way to put a name on what they have or what they feel, but it occurs to Thomas that he wants that label more than anything he’s ever wanted before.

Y/N’s face looks tight, as if the skin has been yanked up on her bones to expose the skeleton beneath. She starts talking about something else quickly, the words tumbling out in an attempt to hide what had been said before. It doesn’t matter, though, Thomas knows what he heard and he adores it.

“I love you too,” he says. He feels like shouting it.

Y/N stares at him. “What?”

“I love you,” he answers her. “I love you. And you totally knew that, by the way. You’ve known that all along, so you do not get to just pretend like that didn’t happen. I know what you said. Also, I want it remembered from here on out that you said ‘I love you first.’”

Y/N gives him a look, but she can’t stop her lips from twisting up into a grin, so even her fiercest glares can’t weather him in the slightest. “Why does the order of who said what first even matter?”

“Who knows?” Thomas says, shrugging as casually as he can, “Probably that you’re just, you know, obsessed with me or something. I wouldn’t blame you.”

This time Y/N does swat him, but she kisses him too, so Thomas supposes she could be forgiven. He already has. He’d do it in a heartbeat, even if she was stabbing him through the chest instead of toying with him. He loves her. He loves her, and he won’t do anything else but that.

requested by @hope92100, i hope you enjoy!

tmr taglist: @rogueanschel, @ellobruv, @retvenkos, @neewtmas, @thatfangirl42, @hiya-itsamber, @gods-fools-heroes, @23victoria, @w1shes43, @ilovexavierthrope, @fadedver

[calliesmemes]

IN-CHARACTER QUOTES FROM DISCORD

UNHINGED SENTENCE STARTERS FEATURING THINGS SAID BY MYSELF AND MY FRIENDS WHILE WRITING AS OUR MUSES IN A CRACK-BASED NONCANON GROUP CHAT. This post is dedicated to Em, Liz, Tanny, Nellie, Mel, Ange, and everyone else in the server who recognizes these quotes — you know who you are 😈

CHANGE gendered words and in-universe phrases as needed.

SPECIFY muse for multimuses.

“   Have you forgotten that you should not steal someone’s property? ”

“   I could slap that smug look off his face right now! ”

“   Your ears are a lie. ”

“   Woah woah that's - that's a bad word. ”

“   I don’t know if it’s allowed and quite frankly I don’t care. Fuck the rules. ”

“   Time for gremlin activities! ”

“   I hate this man. Let's prank him. ”

“   We are all going on strike today I swear ”

“   Looks like I need to invest in a kid leash. ”

“   DONT BE COWARDS!! JOIN THE STRIKE!! ”

“   I support her saying what needs to be said! I am done with the silencing of women!!!! ”

“   I like the dramatics. ”

“   I did not ask for a second opinion. ”

“   You seem to be doing a great job at being a nuisance. ”

“   NO BITING MY EMPLOYEES! ”

“   do you want me to bring you cheese? ”

“   Next move, start chewing on the door frames ”

“   I like crumbs. They are like a little midnight snack in my bed at night. ”

“   if he wants to be a worm, LET HIM BE A WORM ”

“   the rest of you suck my toe ”

“   To be fair I am simply vibing. ”

“   I am going to commit a war crime! ”

“   I am manifesting being happy. ”

“   Am I gonna talk shit WITH you guys? because im down to talk shit about pretty much anyone ”

“   Who says? We shall revolt without question. ”

“   Let's just start burning stuff. ”

“   Did you just call me... small? ”

“   Can I convert you with my kazoo propaganda? ”

“   We were radicalised by The Little Mermaid. ”

“   Penny in the swear jar, now. ”

“   My last words are, bros before hoes. ”

“   The old men are trying to be trendy. ”

“   I can do whatever I want too! ”

“   Can we go one day without an interruption from an American? ”

“   I am so sorry. He enjoys conflict. ”

“   Why is he so tall? ”

“   For legal reasons, kids, that's a joke. ”

“   Would you like to fight the adults? ”

“   You're not meant to bite people, it's frowned upon. ”

“   He’s a fun killer, don't listen to him! ”

“   Ow! Stop kicking me! ”

“   I have quite literally begged you not to kick, hit, or bite today. ”

“   BUT I thought we were buds, pals, amigos, chums, friends. ”

“   Oh shiiiii someone’s in trouble ”

“   How much caffeine have you had in the last hour? ”

“   I'll be honest they wouldn't be so bad if they didn't speak. ”

“   Is this goof meant to be dead or what? ”

“   I am a witch. ”

“   This one reeks of self confidence when he clearly doesn't think before opening his mouth. ”

“  I call bullshit on that rule! ”

“   The point is I have a cane and I’m not afraid to use it. ”

“   If you slap me, I’ll cane you. ”

“   Yippee for women. ”

“   FUCK THE PATRIARCHY ”

“   Sorry for being British. ”

“   Oi who's playing that ominous music? ”

“   I'm strong because I eat carrots. Oh wait or is that to see in the dark.... it's for something. ”

“   I will say sorry when i'm caught, don't you worry. ”

“   AND YOU CALLED ME UP AGAIN JUST TO BREAK ME LIKE A PROMISE! ”

“   ... He's done for. Broken beyond repair. Someone play Taylor Swift. ”

“   Please refrain from punching one another. ”

“   He is becoming one with the spider I believe. ”

“   If anybody asks I will say I made you, then you will not get in trouble! ”

“   Can I be a girlboss too? I am not rude to women and I do what i like ”

“   Yippee for patriotism! ”

“   … i could make you guys rat costumes ”

“   Do you think if we started stealing bread we would lose our jobs? ”

“   why do British people ”

“   … you all need therapy. ”

“   Do you ever feel if you breathe the wrong way he will bite you? ”

“   I actively avoid whatever this is. ”

“   CARRY ME. ”

“   What if, and hear me out, they both promise not to do it again? ”

“   I wanna steal all his socks. ”

“   My socks were stolen! ”

“   Hey, watch it now. Only I'm allowed to insult me. ”

“   You couldn’t whisper to save your life. It’s pitiful. ”

“   Both of you are insufferable. ”

“   The law is overrated. ”

“   I’m afraid. Miss, you aren’t my type. ”

“   No. I swear on my life. I am being a gentleman ”

“   I support women’s wrongs. ”

“   ONE FOR ALL AND ALL FOR ONE!!! ”

“   GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE RIGHT NOW ”

“   He bites? Are you .. joking? Please say you're joking. ”

“   If you like piña coladas and getting caught in the rain ifyou're not into yoga if you have half a brain if you like makin' love at midnight in the dunes on the cape then I'm the love that you've looked for write to me and escape 🎶🎶 ”

[madelynraemunson]

CALL ME WHAT YOU WANT 𓆩♡𓆪

(Book #1 of the Hellfire Gentlemen's Club series)

(strip club owner!eddie x fem!exotic dancer!hargrove!x reader)

𝐌𝐎𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐍 𝐀𝐔 18+ MDNI

Chapter 005: All That and A Can of Worms

Chrissy offers you some insight about Eddie over brunch. You ask Steve how he’d feel about a threesome. Eddie asks if you want to go on another smoke break in his van.

* = somewhat smut

** = smut

↳ chapters: 001, 002*, 003** , 004**, 005 , 006 , 007* , 008**, 009, 010, 011, 012* , 013**, 014**, 015, 016**, 017, 018, 019, 020*

word count: 4.6k

warnings — mutual pining, angst, tension, casual hookups, profanities, NURSE…billy’s out again, talks of abuse, manipulation

“You’re good at impersonating someone who cares. You had me for a minute there.”

♡

Being annoyed and sexually frustrated at Benny’s Diner at 9 AM is not how you want to start your day. But anything for your new — and very hungover — friend, Chrissy.

You would think Miss Cherry still had the munchies from last night just by how she’s inhaling her breakfast potatoes. You sit there and drink your piping hot tea, all while Chrissy spills hers.

“I don’t know,” Chrissy shrugs. “I just think Crypto currency is shady as hell, and the fact that Jason is doing it full time is a red flag.”

“And you’ve been seeing him for how long?”

“Like two weeks,” she answers. “I was gonna invite him to the thing but I don’t think Eddie would’ve liked him.”

“Yeah,” you agree. “I feel like BYOB is more on the…intimate side anyways. Eddie’s close circle.”

Chrissy nods in agreement as she continues to chow down, paying no mind to the adorable ketchup stain she acquired at the corner of her chin.

You can hardly contain it anymore.

“What can you tell me about Eddie?”

Chrissy’s munching ceases. She’s slowly chewing now, attempting to read you.

“Depends…” she squirms. “What do you wanna know?”

“What’s he like?” you wonder. “Did he ever have a girlfriend? Is he someone who’s emotionally available?”

Chrissy thinks for a moment.

“The last serious partnership he ever had was with Isabelle,” she cringes. “But we won’t go into that.”

Isabelle. Okay, you’ve got something.

“Is she the lady friend?”

“No, Lady Friend was just some random chick,” Chrissy shakes her head. “Isabelle was like… serious serious.”

Suspicious now, Chrissy automatically is inclined to ask,

“And you’re asking me this because…?”

Chrissy has been nothing but welcoming ever since you started at Hellfire. The friendship you two have built you feel is something very strong. You trust her enough to know about last night’s scandal with your boss.

“Some things happened last night.”

Chrissy’s eyes widen. “Omg. Like what?”

“Well…” you exhale. “When you went home with Argyle, Eddie gave me a ride home.”

“Go on…”

“We got pretty stoned and then things got heated. Right before we were about to do anything he flat out dipped on me! Blamed it on not wanting to fuck under the influence. I get it, but… something is telling me there’s more to it.”

Just as you expect, Chrissy’s eyes widen in shock. Laughing at the wild news she just received, she requests a quick backtrack. Acceptable reaction.

“Hold on,” she stops you. “We skipped a few chapters. I…thought you were banging his roommate Steve.”

“I am.”

“AND YOU ALSO WANNA GET WITH EDDIE?”

The entire restaurant, it seems, goes quiet. You could hear a spoon clink against some plates from the other side of the establishment.

You try to shush Chrissy. “Dude…”

“Sorry,” Chrissy covers her mouth. She lowers her voice to an aggressive whisper. “Damn, girl! You’re a little hoe.”

You can tell she’s joking.

“Can you blame me though?” you chuckle.

“No,” she shakes her head and giggles. “I really can’t.”

You nod in agreement with her as she mouths “Sooo hot” regarding both Eddie and Steve. Then Chrissy grows serious again.

“Now that we’re here…can I tell you something?”

“Sure,” you shrug. “Anything.”

“As someone who’s…hooked up… with Eddie before…” she begins. “I do think that his behavior towards you is a liiittle strange. He’s typically not hot and cold. He’s usually very forward.”

The plot thickens. It would make sense that those two were a thing, given the sexual tension they had last night when Eddie gave Chrissy the edible.

“Wait you and Eddie hooked up?”

“Yeah…” Chrissy confirms. “He used to smoke me out a lot when I first started at Hellfire. One thing led to another and we ended up sleeping together a few times.”

You start to feel like an idiot.

“Chrissy…I’m so sorry,” you start.

But your friend flails her hands around insistently.

“Don’t be sorry! Oh my gosh. It naturally died down anyways!” she exclaims. “'Think it had to do with the excitement of a new face. Eddie eventually got too busy and I started seeing other guys.”

“Oh,” you dial down. “I still feel like I’m breaking girl code in a way.”

“Don’t be sorry girl!” Chrissy repeats. “When it comes to me, you’re not! I actually think everyone needs to experience that man at least once.”

That man, being Eddie.

You jaw pops open.

“What?”

“I’m serious girl,” Chrissy sighs. “He’s just that good.”

“You’re lying.”

“Eyes rolled back,” Chrissy gushes. “Everything. OOH! Girl, he is just so respectful but rough and it’s, ugh…”

You can’t believe what you’re hearing.

“It’s sex from another dimension.”

You and Chrissy squeal in excitement as she gives the details, reenacting most of the ordeal on her poor breakfast potatoes. It's revealed to you that Eddie loves catering to the female body, loves taking charge, and lives for a woman’s reaction. That alone is good enough to make him cum. It all makes you think about the dream you had and if it would be anything close to that.

“Well anyways,” Chrissy concludes. “Eddie’s one of the most chivalrous guys I know. Fucking a girl while she’s not sober is just not how he rolls. He probably freaked out.”

“I understand that,” you tap the table in thought. “But something was still off though. I barely had time to process it. Before you know it, he was dumping me at my house as if nothing happened.”

You fill Chrissy in on more of the details, chugging your tea like it’s a bottle of hot vodka. Being hot and bothered with nothing but a wet dream to get you by until you see one of them again is not a good combination.

“I would talk about this with Eddie and Steve,” Chrissy politely suggests. “And soon. I can feel the…frustration…radiating off your very strong grip…”

You nearly slam your teacup on the wooden table. Chrissy flinches.

“You’re telling me you two haven’t fucked when you were both high before? I mean like come on, that’s what gets people in the mood most times.”

“You may be onto something,” Chrissy squints in thought. “We were high almost every single time. So why now the sudden change?”

“Exactly.”

You say to Chrissy verbatim everything Eddie said to and about you last night. How he was fucking his fist yesterday to your moans. How he was telling you how much he wanted to fuck your brains out while being inches away from your face. How he had the opportunity to have you but chose to run from it the moment you showed interest. Nothing about it made sense.

"Leaving me high and dry after all that?" you reiterate. "I'm almost certain that never happened with you."

“But I also wasn’t hooking up with Steve at the same time,” Chrissy points out. “Maybe this deal might be breaking guy code in a way.”

Or the Munson Doctrine.

The phone rings, ushering your convo with Chrissy to a standstill. Your heart has been trained into thinking it’s Billy, especially since the eerie phone calls and messages have started up again. You’re overpowered by nausea and suddenly want the check.

The name that pops up on your phone causes you to breathe a sigh of relief.

MAX MAYFIELD 💌

“It’s my sister,” you announce. “Let’s keep it PG.” You tap the green phone button to accept the call. “Hey!”

“Hey, I was wondering if you can spot me $100 a month,” Max requests. “At least until I find a job.”

“Good morning to you too,” you mutter.

“Pleeeaaase!” Max begs. “It’s for the Y.”

“A membership at the Y is $100 a month?!”

“Yeah Hawkins is a fucking shoebox, I’ve learned,” Max mutters. “The city needs a lot of funding to keep things open. So will you do it?”

“Only because I love you,” you sigh. “But you better be looking for a job.”

“Scouts honor,” Max promises. “Thank you, sis. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“Has Billy been reaching out?”

You swallow hard.

“Yeah," you choke. "Has he been texting you?”

“Mhm.”

Billy called again this morning. And again and again. Surprisingly, there was only one voicemail. But it was the same spiel.

"Hey, it's me," Billy greeted you in his voicemail. "Answer the fucking phone, please! I miss you and Max. You guys are lucky I'm giving you another chance."

His words just boil your blood. If anything, it should be him earning another chance from you and Max. Not the other way around.

"I'm worried about you guys. Y'all have never left the house for this long. So if this is your way of proving a point, all this manipulation projection, you guys won. Just please come back home okay? We can talk it out and ground ourselves to the situation at hand. Together. As siblings. No one loves you as much as I do, and no one will ever love you like I do. We’ll figure it out. Like we always do. K. Later.”

Billy never knows what he’s talking about. It’s obvious he takes every word he hears in therapy and makes alphabet soup out of it. Otherwise, he’d be practicing what he preaches.

The lack of control your brother has over you and Maxine is making him spiral. Without an ample supply, Billy is sure to explode any day now.

“Whatever you do,” you caution her. “Don’t fucking reply.”

“I know, I know,” Max says. “I know how this shit goes.”

“I love you,” you say again.

“Love you more.”

You hang up and instantly begin massaging your temples. Chrissy watches in horror.

“Man do you need dick or what…” she shakes her head. “Hearing all that stressed me out!”

“Tell me about it,” you sigh. “I need two if I’m being honest.”

A few more nibbles of your food, and then you and Chrissy go your separate ways, paying for both of your meals in all ones. You two do it for the cashier’s reaction. It’s always pretty funny.

“Anyway, thanks for this girly,” you give Chrissy a hug.

“Any time!” Chrissy beams. “I’ll see you tonight. We need to do this again soon.”

“Yeah, I just gotta find the time,” you mumble. “I still gotta meet Eddie for his usual stripper-orientation-lunch-thing that he does. Might as well buy a planner with all these commitments popping up.”

As she slows down her walking speed, Chrissy looks over at you with a puzzled look on her face.

“Wait… what ‘usual’ lunch?”

———- ☕️———-

Eddie’s van is nowhere in sight when you pull into Steve and Eddie’s neighborhood. You make your way over to the townhouse quickly, trying to catch The King before you have to clock in.

It’s one push of the doorbell and a wave into the Ring camera before Steve answers.

“Hey you!” he cheers as the door swings open. “Good to see you.”

He showers you with kisses before inviting you in.

“Good to see you too,” you kiss him right back. “Thanks for agreeing to meet me before the gym.”

“Anything for you,” Steve responds. “Dustin usually runs late anyway.”

You make yourself at home by setting your purse on the now tidy kitchen island. Steve offers you some water and you accept. He puts a lemon wedge in it to make it look fancy.

“I got you something,” Steve proclaims.

Before you could react, he’s already running to his room to get you your surprise. Your heart begins to skip a beat.

“Stop,” you gush as Steve disappears into his room. “You didn’t have to.”

“But I wanted to,” Steve insists as he races back out. For someone who was insanely drunk the night before, Steve is so full of energy. “Especially since I made myself look like a fool last night.”

In his hands, Steve unveils something the size of his palm.

It’s a fridge magnet of a Hawaiian hula girl, with a grass skirt, coconut bra, and a beautiful plumeria lei. She’s got sunglasses on, hilariously one that matches Steve’s. The magnet says your name on it in purple.

“Oh my gosh!” you cheer, with slight confusion. “A hula girl magnet.”

“Yeah!” Steve cheers. “I saw it at CVS and had to get it for you.”

You watch in amusement as Steve attempts his own version of a hula dance. He sings a song while he does so, but it sounds like a language he made up and not actual Hawaiian. You can’t help but giggle.

“It’s the closest thing to sunny San Diego that we have here.”

Your heart swells when you realize the meaning behind the gesture. Such a thoughtful thing for Steve to do. It all makes you miss home a bit more. You never did get to properly grieve saying goodbye to the town that raised you. The grip you have on your little gift tightens so much that the hula girl is now starting to hurt you.

“I know how much you probably miss home,” Steve explains. “Hopefully soon you can go back and visit.”

“Thank you,” you sniff. “That is so sweet of you.”

You two kiss again.

Then it goes beyond an endearing peck. It’s three more intense lip locks back to back before Steve slowly starts to insert his tongue. You roll yours along with his, both of your tongues wrestling for dominance. He bites your lower lip, hands moving from your waist to the small of your back. As you surrender your hands against his chest, Steve sneaks a quick grab to one of your ass cheeks. You moan in his mouth.

“So I was thinking…” you smirk, poking Steve at his sides. “That we can spice things up in the bedroom.”

“Ooh,” Steve bites his lip as he draws you closer. “I like where this is going. What were you thinking?”

“I was thinking…” you answer. “That I’ll take you up on that voyeur thing. Give Eddie a little show?”

Steve seems puzzled.

“Huh?”

It’s far too late to take anything back now. The worst Steve can say is no.

“Remember yesterday you said that you’re a voyeur. And that we might as well let Eddie watch?” you elaborate. “Maybe we can also do a little more too. You, me, and him?”

“Oh…” Steve’s demeanor softens. He runs his hands through his freshly done hair, then sits down on the bar stool closest to him.

Steve looks at you for a moment, expression unreadable as he shoves his hands into his pocket.

“Hargrove I…” Steve says. “I was kidding.”

You begin to feel yourself flush. “Oh.”

Your friend with benefits taps his feet in thought, making sure to craft his response perfectly out of respect for everyone.

“This is something you really wanted to do?”

“Of course, but if you don’t want to that’s totally okay too!”

You made sure you were clear on that. Steve thinks for a minute again. Then his eyes travels over to the bar stool next to him, where Eddie’s leather jacket is lazily perched atop of. He sighs.

“Who, uh, who was your ride last night?” Steve inquires. “Since you know, I was the one who drove us.”

You gulp. “Eddie was.”

“Oh,” Steve repeats.

He kicks the floor gently with his feet. You, since you’ve been watching his every move, subconsciously follow.

“I’m really sorry if I got your hopes up,” Steve apologizes. “I should’ve never worded the Eddie thing the way I did yesterday. If I’m honest with you, a threesome isn’t something I would be okay with.”

“Really?”

“Yeah,” Steve hangs his head. “I don’t know if you remember, but a third party is what destroyed my last relationship… so that topic is still pretty sensitive to me.”

You take that back. That’s the worst thing Steve could say.

The space closes up around you and shame starts to fire at you from all corners of the room. You feel like such an idiot for not realizing something so inherently obvious.

“Steve…” you don’t even know where to begin. “I am so sorry.”

“It’s okay, Hargrove. You didn’t know,” Steve shrugs it off. “It’s not like we’re exclusive either.”

Steve’s phone vibrates, and judging by how fast he gets up, you assume it’s because Dustin is getting closer. You start to reach for your purse, recognizing that your stay is about to be over.

“I feel really bad for taking this now,” you hold the hula girl magnet up to Steve.

But nonetheless, Steve smiles. “Keep it, darling. She suits you.”

Steve still insists on walking you to you car, carrying your purse for you over his shoulder while you fiddle awkwardly with the hula girl. He gives your rosy cheeks one last tender kiss before opening the door to the driver’s side so you can get in.

“Have a good shift,” Steve smiles faintly. “Tell Eddie I got him the Scooby snacks he wanted.”

You try to laugh at the most Eddie thing you’ve ever heard, but it’s not there. So instead you nod. “Of course. Have a good workout, Stevie.”

“Oh, I will.”

———— 𓆩♡𓆪 ———-

When talking with the Hellfire girls, it’s decided that you’re on tip rail tonight. Distracted by the new problem at hand, you naturally end up forgetting a few last minute things. Lucky for you, House Mom had travel sized makeup for you to use and a wide selection of small snacks to choose from.

You’re eating by Nancy’s little concession set up when your boss strides in. Eddie scoots by you, his lack of spacial awareness causing him to bump you aggressively against the hip. With the height difference and how much more bigger he is than you, the small brush shoves you forward.

“Rude,” you call out to him, though you’re only half joking.

“Sorry,” he tuts. “Behind.”

“You better be sorry,” you snap back. “With your mean ass.”

Eddie waltzes back over and asserts himself behind you, resting his rough hands at your sides. Your breathing hitches as he bends down, his curly locks tickling your cheekbones ever so teasingly.

“Would you say I’m being disrespectful?”

You turn to face him and nudge him with your hip. He chuckles slyly.

“Very,” you respond. “Very disrespectful.”

“Disrespectful. Sober,” Eddie rests his chin along your collarbone. “Looks like we both kept our promises.”

You two sway side to side in silence, enjoying the moment. Work is definitely not going to be this slow so you take it all in while you can.

“How’s your day going?” Eddie mumbles against your skin.

“Alright so far,” you respond. “Chrissy and I went to Benny’s for breakfast. And my sister wants a YMCA membership now so I’m either gonna have to pick up more shifts or reallocate some finances…”

“I vouch for the first option,” Eddie smirks.

“Oh yeah? Of course you do.”

“Mhm…” he nods. “Got some things I need you to do for me in the private show room.”

Goosebumps start to rise. You can’t have him here now. Not when you’re about to go on stage pretty soon. Eddie removes his hands from your hips and changes his embrace to a bear hug instead. The swaying continues.

“Billy also called this morning.”

The swaying stops.

“Fuck,” Eddie mutters as you spin around to face him. “You didn’t answer that piece of shit did you?”

“‘Course not,” you cross your arms. “There’s nothing to say or do at this point. He made his bed. My sister and I moved on.”

“Good girl,” he coos. “Your new life is here with us anyways.”

You blush as you suck on your lollipop, eyes meeting Eddie’s once again. Eddie’s dark pupils dilate once more, his tongue venturing out as he licks his lips hungrily.

“Grab your things,” Eddie orders. “Let’s go for a quick smoke.”

You’re back in his van again, smoking the same bong and rolling with the same paper as you did last night. Hopefully this is the redo you’ve been anticipating. Before Eddie lights up the bowl, he glances down at your tote bag.

“Scrubs 4 Less?” he chuckles.

“Oh yeah…” you say. “I may have told my little sister I work nights at the nursing home.”

“You are vile,” Eddie laughs. “Creative, but diabolical and oh so very vile.”

“I prefer the term protective,” you utter as-a-matter-of-factly.

“Mmm, very…” Eddie quips. “Got any spare restraints then, nurse? You got a madman on the loose.”

You bite your lip in absolute lust. “I suppose I can spare a few.”

You kick your stilettos off and rest your feet on Eddie’s lap again. He automatically compensates, staring at you in complete bliss as he exhales.

“Steve bought you your Scooby gummies by the way.”

“Fuck yeah,” he smiles. “Husband of the year.”

Eddie resumes grazing your legs again, rubbing your calves and moving upwards to your thighs. He bombards you with words of endearment, saying he needs to watch the junk food he eats because he’s trying to look good for you. Flustered you slowly sit up, further closing the space between you two and leaning into Eddie’s touch.

Oh yeah, right where you left off.

“I still can’t get over how hot you looked last night,” he says. “Doing your little thing at the VIP table. Downing that tequila. Chewing those gummies while holding your own. You’re something else.”

You blush.

“You were looking pretty hot yourself,” you compliment him and he blushes back. “And when you got all angry at that customer. I was getting all flustered.”

“Mm, you like when I’m aggressive huh?”

“Oh yeah,” you bite your lip. “Love my men rough around the edges.”

So you decide to make the move. Eddie inhales sharply as you scoot yourself closer, leaning in to kiss his soft lips just as you intended to last night. To your shock, you’re taken aback when Eddie pushes you away.

“Whoa!” he exclaims. “Easy there, tiger.”

“What?” is all your mouth can formulate. “Oh no, do I have food in my teeth?”

Eddie chuckles. “No? I just can’t kiss you, silly.”

Bewilderment overrides your horniness now. Removing yourself from Eddie completely, you’re back in your own seat, crossing your legs away from your boss who is still casually lighting up.

“Eddie, what’s going on? I thought we were feeling each other.”

He sets his lighter down and glances over at you.

“Scuse me?”

“Last night…” you remind him. “We were close just like this…you said you wanted to fuck my brains out… told me you were jacking off to my screams in the bathroom.”

“We were fucked up, Hargrove,” Eddie explains. “Okay? It was a mistake.”

“Drunk words are sober thoughts or whatever the fuck right?”

Eddie falls silent. There is no way in the world that this is happening right now. You think about brunch. You think about Chrissy. You think about what Eddie did just fifteen minutes ago that led up to this very moment. But Eddie’s the puzzled one?

“I like you Shy Girl,” Eddie begins. “I really do. But this? Can’t be a thing.”

“Why not?” you find yourself asking. Like a desperate little girl.

“Getting involved with an employee would just open up another can of worms,” Eddie sighs. “I can’t play like that. I won’t play like that.”

That’s his excuse? You find yourself getting even more frustrated. Eddie should have had the same mindset when he was hooking up with Chrissy. What made this situation any different?

But surely, you don’t bring Chrissy up. You didn’t want Eddie to know you knew.

“Eddie,” you try to control your voice. “I thought that after all this… the feeling was mutual.”

Eddie exhales. “Sweetheart… All the pet names and the flirting and the giving rides home…Whatever you picked up on, I do that with everybody.”

He can’t say he didn’t warn you. That was the first phrase of Eddie’s to stick with you entirely. It all felt so personal though. Like everything was geared specifically to you.

“Really?” you demand. “You do it with everybody? The last time I checked, Chrissy had no idea what that orientation lunch that you do with everybody is about.”

“It’s a…newer thing.”

“Or it’s a ploy to get to know me better,” you hiss. “And then what would you have done if you got what you wanted?”

Rage fills you now. Clouded with the anger, you scoop down to grab your bag and push the door of Eddie’s van open. Eddie’s shocked at your sudden behavior change.

“Whatever,” you huff as you climb out. “It’s all good. I gotta get ready for the show.”

“Hargro-” Eddie starts. “Hargrove!”

“And put some more water in that thing, would you?” you California self orders him. “Your lungs will thank me later.”

The little time left before the show permits you to go to the bathroom and cry. Your familiar friend, Loss, is paying you a visit again.

You fucked up. You had someone so good to you, someone so patient and gentle and caring, and you threw that away for your manipulative walking red flag of a boss. Surely, Steve might still want to casually sleep with you, but the energy has shifted now. You’ve lost him, you fear.

But no matter how much you wanted to convince yourself, Steve couldn’t give you everything you wanted. He was still missing something, which is why you stayed falling for Eddie. Or the idea of Eddie, rather. Everything you made him up to be has now been rendered completely false.

So now even Eddie can’t meet you where you’re at.

Emptiness comes by to accompany your friend Loss. Pressing your lips to your arm, you let out a muffled wail.

Fuck. How could you be so damn stupid?

Billy’s words crawl along your back and into your ears. You’re afraid your brother is right again; and for someone as irrational as he is, you can’t help but wonder how that could be true.

“No one loves you as much as I do, and no one will ever love you like I do. We’ll figure it out. Like we always do.”

Come home.

All while abusive, Billy’s love was always unconditional. No matter how far both of you took it, the key was always under the mat. And no matter how many times Max had to separate the two of you, shouting for you two to stop trying to strangle each other, you two always found your way back into each other’s arms.

You two came out of the womb hugging. You escaped your cribs to sleep beside each other. You comforted each other after every beating. You fed Billy to make sure he ate after Mom’s funeral while he did your laundry and laid out your clothes for a week straight. When one of you was in danger, the other just simply knew.

Billy is Love in its truest form. Your greatest comfort. All you’ve ever known. And that alone scared the hell out of you.

It all makes you crumble further. Is your brother’s love as good as it’s ever going to get?

———————

author’s note: our boy eddie is RAN THROUGH!!!!! also i love how ST fanfic writers have all collectively agreed to drag steve to HELL AND BACK for the plot 🫣😩 poor boy never gets a break, not in the original universe, not in this universe, not in any of ‘em

—————

tag list: @changemunson , @the-fairy-anon , @ali-r3n , @corrodedcoffincumslut , @bebe07011 , @mmunson86 , @eddiesguitarskills , @chelebelletx , @imonhereforareasonsadly , @eddies-trailer-babe , @hideoutside , @motherfckerrr , @jxpsi i , @munson-magic , @lindseyj23 , @sidthedollface2 , @manda-panda-monium , @elvendria , @micheledawn1975 , @holabeans00 , @hereforshmut , @siriuslysmoking

[cocogum]

The Great Wave - Chapter 8 Review

‼️SPOILERS FOR THE CHAPTER‼️

Warning(s): unhinged behavior, fat shaming, unnecessary use of foul language, watch me pulverize a bag of expired chicken trash, aurora slander, no one is safe, cyberbullying at its finest ✨

I never thought I would have laughed at the beginning of this chapter.

Like I legit goofed off when I read it no joke.

We come back to Amalia and the beginning of her “fight” against the professional clowns and fatty is telling trophy daughter to get away.

No, come closer Aurora. For once, be an independent woman and don’t listen to your father. You got this honey, get A LOT closer 🥰🥰🥰

Oh my gosh, and she did!

She actually got closer! Good for you, Aurora, you’re such a good girl!

Eyo what.

I did not just hear this bitch say “I won’t run away”. Did I hear that right?

This is coming from the cunt who ran away from HER HUSBAND’S PEOPLE’S FUCKING WAR who’s saying that??

This is coming from the blue-skinned mc fry chicken-looking ass who listened to her daddy tell he to run away from a war but disobeys him when he tells her to not fight another woman?

Aurora.

You’d rather disobey your daddy to fight an experienced adventurous heroine but you’d listen to him when he tells you to flee from a war you were supposed to stay in?

This bitch is clinically slow.

Please lord, let this be a foreshadowing that she’ll actually die when she fights Amalia. 🙏🙏

And then you got her DUMB ASS turning into a Temu version of Echo saying:

Man, SHUT YOUR STUPID MICKEY ASS UP BITCH THOUGHT SHE WAS THE SHIT TALKING LIKE THAT‼️‼️‼️‼️

WHERE WERE YOU WHEN THEY NEEDED THAT ENERGY DURING THE WAR?!??

HOE THOUGHT IT WAS QUIRKY TO ACT UP LIKE THIS‼️‼️ AS IF IT WAS FUCKING APPROPRIATE ⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️

THIS U?

Nah. Amalia cook her up.

Fry her up into that McDonald’s Angus sandwich they took out from the menu AND LEMME EAT THAT SHIT RIGHT AFTER IT-

Literally what the fuck is wrong with this blue hoe. She uses her anger like that towards Amalia but not when it’s necessary???

How?? How does she think like that?

She did not do shit during the war and ran away because she said she was pregnant and did not want to fight and yet here she is saying she’s ready to brawl with Amalia while being pregnant. This doesn’t do shit for her cuz this is just implying that she was fully capable of defending the sadidas during the war!!

WHAT??????

AURORA WHAT MADE YOU THINK YOU COULD TALK LIKE THAT, YOU ONLY LOOK EVEN WORSE‼️‼️

Aurora is yapping as if she can efficiently win this.

Meanwhile, you got Amalia over here, who fought straight-up divinities: she fought against Harebourg, an infamous demigod xelor before he ran away, damaged Jiva's hands, the month protector of Javian, was able to momentarily restrain Oropo, a demigod copy of Yugo, managed to beat Black Bump, the demigod feca, by partnering up with Yugo, and stood her ground against a freaking necrome (a necrome is not a divinity but it technically stays "alive" for eternity).

Aurora has no brain cells, doesn't watch what the hell she's saying more than half the time, has no experience in battle, her pregnancy is the only thing relevant about her, lies for the sake of lying, and has a hideous bird transformation.

Because let's talk about it.

This might just be the ugliest bird transformation I have ever seen in my life. It’s not even pretty at all. Look at how her fingers turn into vulture claws and those feathers just sprouting out of her shoulders and arms.

Echo did it far better than her because her transformation was actually elegant and sublime. Meanwhile, you got Aurora’s slow-ass vulture transformation where she looks like she’s about to take a shit in that panel. Her head is lowered down, her face is hiding behind her hair, her body is shaking, her shoulders going back, and her hands trembling, yeah she’s definitely shitting herself just to do this transformation. Even Efrim’s paws are cuter CUZ HERS LOOK LIKE CHICKEN/VULTURE FEET.

ECHO COME BACK THIS BITCH IS RUINING YOUR FLOW‼️‼️‼️

Also, when you say: “It’s time we put her in her place”, who’s “we”??? You and your dad??? You think that fatty can fight back? Just a second ago, he was telling you to stay back and was sweating like a pig, so again, tf you mean “we”???

Woman thought she ate saying “iT’s TImE ThAT We PuT hEr iN HeR pLaCe” go sit your ass down, you couldn’t even fight against A THUNDER STRIKE. That thunder wasn’t even from the Eliatrope goddess, it was literally just nature that kicked your ass by touching your furry finger.

And that’s the worst part of it. It didn’t even touch your whole body. It touched the edge of your fucking fingers and you immediately dramatically fell like a bird’s white shit.

She’s such a clown omg…

This ain’t even funny anymore. She really thought she was on the same level as Amalia.

Even fucking Eva could take on Aurora while being pregnant, cuz unlike that blue-skinned brat, Eva was able to defend herself against a sram demigoddess AND escape from a pandawa demigod WHILE BEING MUCH FURTHER IN HER PREGNANCY THAN AURORA.

Tot, please for the love of god turn Aurora into a soufflé before the sadidas cause a rebellion French style with the guillotine when they find out she’s actual trash.

Aurora is literally that one jujutsu kaisen meme where they go “Nah, I’d win.” 💀💀💀

Our boss queen Amalia immediately picked up on her bullshit and sensed her coming from a mile away even when she was “going fast” while flying.

And this is literally one of the best krosmoz manga shots of Amalia ready to fucking destroy this worthless excuse of an osamodas.

I swear no matter how many times I keep seeing this panel, my heart wants to pull itself out of my chest, screaming, getting on adrenaline. Amalia’s just so perfect, I wanna be her and kick that chicken-legged braindead woman so badly 😫😫

But sadly, we’re going to have to wait for the next chapter to see this “fight”. I’m calling it like that cuz I bet my whole bank account that it’s just gonna be Amalia pummelling Aurora repeatedly, ain’t no way that blue hoe can actually fight after the shit I saw in Season 4.

And I hope that’s the case because we can see Aurora looking like she’s struggling on the cover of Chapter 9.

She looks enraged and flying fast towards Amalia perhaps. But she definitely looks furious and whenever she looks mad, we all now know it’s always because she’s losing or not getting something she wants.

So yes, Amalia, destroy this wench.

Meanwhile, Yugo’s tasting what hell feels like and my god that crater looks even bigger when we get close up…

What I especially loved about this chapter, was that we finally got another interaction between Yugo and Adamaï, this time more personal and something that felt like their dynamic from Season 2. It’s sad to know that their bond won’t be the same as it was before even when they have finally reunited and forgiven each other.

But this scene gave me hope that their brotherly bond has not entirely been washed away from the years of being apart.

Adamaï still cares for him a great deal and Season 4 was able to show it. And this chapter did the same thing.

This is heartbreaking too look at.

Yugo’s face when he hears him say that, is the look of realization, you can tell his heart just squeezed at his words.

It’s been so long since Adamaï told him these words. He didn’t even say them in Season 4 when they were both reconciling.

Adamaï actually had a really good idea to solve this issue. A temporary solution if you will. Since they’re both primordial twins of the Eliatrope goddess, it was very clever of him to deduce that they should both share the pain of the belladone poison!

Ad can actually impress us when he wants to damn…

Yugo refuses at first but realizes that since they don’t have any other options, he accepts.

(*i just now realized how big Adamaï’s hands looked in this shot. Damn. Imagine getting choked by that-*)

This whole scene, I genuinely felt the bond they used to share back in Seasons 1 and 2. The way Yugo completely relies on Adamaï for any decision that they make together and Adamaï being the one who highlights the issue at hand before coming up with a solution for the both of them.

And ngl, it actually felt very refreshing to see this change.

And here’s the shot guys.

This is the shot we’ve been waiting to see ever since that damn great wave webtoon trailer came out!!

I like how some of us collectively agreed that this was the moment where Yugo created the wave but I’m so happy it wasn’t the case. Because if it did happen like this, the timing would have felt way too forced and rushed. Now I’m just happy Yugo won’t have to cough up blood all the damn time (even tho I like that idea so much cuz Yugo suffering is something i KNOW we all want cuz god zammnn-) because he’ll actually be able to be balanced and stable for now.

Now that the link has been made, Adamaï lets Yugo know that they should move somewhere else to not cause any other damage to the kingdom which is another great idea (Adamaï’s all fired up with good ideas today lol)

ARE THEY IN SPACE?!!?!?!!

LITERALLY SLOW DOWN, YOU GUYS ARE ZIGZAGGING EVERYWHERE WAIT-

I believe there is a way to find a cure for the Belladone poison. Based on what I found, the poison doesn’t seem to have any remedy since it’s such a deadly substance to drink but I believe they could be able to find something that could potentially help Yugo and Adamaï get rid of it from their systems.

For example, the same thing happened to Amalia back in Season 1. Not only did she get bit by a demonic rose known to have been created to hurt Jiva, one of the month protectors of the world of twelve, but she ended up being fine once the others found a cure for the flower.

Granted, the flower and the belladone have two distinct differences that separate them on their severity level : A) The demonic rose is a flower while the belladone is a berry. B) The demonic rose is a deadly flower that, once touched, can kill you in under a day while the belladone, once eaten, can kill you in under a few seconds. It can even damage your skin if you hold one for too long.

Even so, it doesn’t change the fact that if an infamous red flower that has impacted a divinity can be cured, then so can the belladone.

These two are pure morons.

It doesn’t matter when or where they are, they’ll still smirk and come up with dumb jokes even when they’re in pain like this.

Adamaï’s over here treating this like “training”. I have no idea if he said that to lighten the mood when he realized they were somewhat stable now that they shared the pain or if it was just because he genuinely tested this like training to see if they could withstand the pain together.

Either way, they’re both idiots and brothers for life. Brothers who smile even when they’re not sure about the pain.

Extra: let’s just enjoy more pained yugo expressions lol

[unabashednightmarepizza]

𝑀𝑎𝑟𝑎𝑢𝑑𝑒𝑟𝑠 𝐷𝑖𝑎𝑟𝑦

Being the reason of the magic in the whole world was pretty classy to some people

And yeah, in a way, it was because how many people could actually say "I'm the one who gave magic to my children and later other people."?

Now it wasn't that you were the Merlin, but more like a reincarnated one. You would have different dreams of those before you and what they felt and then wake up almost feeling... Empty.

It wasn't until you showed your eyes and strong magic that your "family" believed in who you were and decided to hide it from everyone else to have you, and by extension your powers, all to themselves and celebrated the good news...

But that also meant your family was the oldest magical family ever, which meant every other "pureblood" family tried to get into your family for more power.

Utter bullshit if someone asked you, and the Merlin himself inside you

"What the fuck are they talking about being 'pure'?! What is this nonsense!?"/ "Calm down hoe, ı'll explain."

Needless to say... He was pissed, but that was for another time to talk about.

All their attempts backfired and now everyone knew who you were and you had to learn how to defend yourself at a young age while rejecting whoever tried a move on you. (It wasn't that hard to punch them and scare the shit outta them anyways.)

At one point, the news of Hogwarts reached to you and you insisted on going there even if it was against every plan your family had, which consisted of brainwashing you so that you would believe in their ideals.

(which was also why you were doing it and get away from them before they did something)

The point is, there was a time the Four Founders knew you, and therefore the Sorting Hat also knew you very well... And instead of sorting you, you two gossiped together about those four.

"Do you remember how Godric was left in his underwear because Salazar was mad at him for changing his potions?"

"or that one time Rowena had to be held by Helga, who never liked conflict if I may add, because Godric stole her crown and danced around the castle?"

But the Hat knew that you had to be sorted, yet again, sorting the literal pure and ancient magic holder was... Absurt.

So, it made the best and most hilarious decision of all the History of Magic under the shocked eyes of everyone present.

" Y/N Y/L/N belongs to all houses!"

"you could have put me in Godric's house at least, stupid! They seem funny at least..."

And the hat only cackled and shooed you away under your teasing eyes as you sat at the corner while the teacher gave their speechs.

But, just like everyone else there, four sets of eyes followed you after that day. Wherever you went or whatever you said.

They thought you would be evil, or extremely cocky and bullying everyone. They even planned a grand joke for you to teach you a lesson...

But none of them ever came and instead they often found you... Sleeping at corners in different positions.

At first, they thought you were merely acting so that you got away from their pranks.

But when they shook you awake, and you just faceplanted on the ground and continued to sleep, they were absolutely bamboozled.

"Are they alive? I think they are..."

"How can someone sleep like that?! Especially after falling down?"

But this wasn't their first official meeting with you.

It was when they were sitting down for dinner and you appeared behind Remus to look at the book he was reading.

Even he didn't feel your presence and the soft hum you did, and he was a werewolf.

"Hello, gentlemen! How are you?"

And Sirius, being Sirius, did what he always did the best: Complimented you, which would turn to flirting as the years passed.

What they did not know was that you were the Merlin. Sirius and James were aware of your existence, Sirius with being the heir of the Blacks and his mother trying to prepare a date in the future, but they never knew what you looked like.

No one did.

When they realized it, they thought you were one of those pure-blood extremists and their opinion changed about you fast

They thought you would bully Remus or Lily...

Which was already a big no-no

But they were proven very wrong when one day, they caught you bringing chocolate and books Remus wanted to read for a while, the pile of books flying in the air behind you in a long line

"Hi! Uh, I hope I'm not being a complete nuisance but I couldn't help but notice your love for chocolate and hear your list of books you wanted to read and... I just wanted to talk?"

What? Giving something to someone to gain their trust, though it was for an evil ulterior in your family, was the thing that was taught to you.

And you weren't like them, you really wanted to be their friends and prove that you weren't like any of them but... At that moment, you were just a shy bean full of anxiety as you fiddled with your fingers shyly and they looked at you puzzled with shocked pikachu faces.

The stare they had given you in shock would never leave your mind as you giggled at them, the sound making the boys blush as Remus stuttered out a thanks and you gave a wide smile and asked to sit down with them. That was when the doubts started to bloom in them.

No bloody racist could be that sweet and shy while talking to someone "lower" to them.

And besides you seemed genuine but they still had doubts...

Until James remembered how you protected Lily at the Great Hall one time and then, as he heard it later, baked her cookies and helped her study.

"Y/L/N, we need to talk! There is an important matter..."

You sluggishly woke up and looked around you after your beauty sleep, only to see Lucius who had been working hard to pursue you, looking at you with what appeared to be... Anger. You stared at his face for a few seconds and then at the bustling Hall where everyone now stayed silent to watch you two.

Everyone knew that you and Lucius weren't on exactly good terms. You didn't do anything that could make you seem like "a barbaric" person, even though you had half of the mind to do so after everything he said about Lily and muggleborns in general, you had to stay calm and also ease the angry ancient wizard inside you as he fumed like a dragon.

Or else, this summer wouldn't be too nice for you.

"important matter?.. Okay, what is it?" You mumbled sleepily, rubbing your eyes and slapping your face a few times to sober up a bit. Even if your eyes were half open, you still kept them closed as a yawn left you and pretended to listen to him while leanin over the table.

"I believe, as true magic holders, you would agree on the fact that there are people who shouldn't be here." said Lucius sneering, emphasising on true magic and people while looking especially at Lily as the girl suddenly curled in on herself in fear. James seethed from where he was sitting as his eyes wandered to the girl and then his friends, silently planning another prank for Lucius so bad that the blonde wouldn't be able to walk outside.

Their eyes drifted to you though, Peter eating anxiously, Sirius raising a brow as Remus lifted his head and stared with an expectant look. This was the moment they would get their answers, whether what you had been telling them was true.

Whether you really cared about being pure or not.

"This is a magic school Lucius, anyone who has magic can enter. I heard that the bullying of pureblood nonsense wasn't as bad in other schools and they are also welcoming so... Suck it up." You explained bored and waved your hand dismissively at hım as he widened his eyes and sputtered out in disbelief.

How could someone as powerful as you say such thing?

His eyes drifted to where the group of your "friends" were sitting and cheering you excitedly, clapping hands as your eyes shone with happiness for being accepted by them wholeheartedly finally. Their smiling faces were cute, and you'd later go and buy some chocolate and sweets for them but right now, you couldn't be the sugar mommy.

You needed sleep. Immediately.

"Now, I will sleep and you better not wake me up..."

"They are the ones who feed you with lies, are they not?" He sneered angrily as he came closer to your form, a frustrated sigh leaving your lips at what he foolishly said while forgetting who you exactly where, instead seeing one of those submissive girls he was used to having around at his beck and call.

How easily you could end him and his whole lineage.

"If you think them, you or any other person can manipulate me, that's your problem. But I'd like to point that I can suck the magic out of you, alter your memories and even make your hair turn pink without you or anyone realizing what's happening. Don't tempt me..." your eyes snapped an angry yellow as your hands glowed with golden swirls of raw magic, making him take a step back in slight fear.

"you're only angry because one, she is pretty. Two, she is wicked smart and three, she is one of the few girls who said no to you." You mumbled tiredly and bored as you rolled onto your other side on the bench and continued to sleep soundless as if you didn't just threaten him with unaliving. The only answer you got, not that you cared, was just a grunt and feet stomping away.

"Fucking git of a witch... And she is supposed to be Merlin? Only a fake öne with those she hangs out..."

Needless to say, as you snapped your eyes open and slowly rose up, your eyes glowing in the usual golden color as your hair floated up and the ground shook angrily... Lucius was fucked.

After that flipping you did with Lucius, practically all the school was on their knees worshipping you

Because fucking finally someone stopped that menace

After that, the Marauders rarely left your side. Always demanding attention, begging you to teach them and all that... Except Sirius.

He just wanted to bring you over to his home so that you can roast his family too lol

When you learnt what happened to the Black Brothers, after they both warmed up to you, you flipped and choked on the water you were drinking.

"Those fuckers did what?!"

The sight of the Merlin, hair up and floating menacingly as an angry sneer left you was one that would haunt their wildest nightmares to come.

That was when one of them fell for you.

Perhaps, it was Regulus since he had been harbouring a huge crush on you ever since forever or Sirius when he had come to you wounded as you healed him and hugged him thightly to your chest, patting his hair and assuring him that everything would be better as he clinged to you and cried his sadness out.

Sirius... Never thought that he would relate to you.

To what ... What happened to you.

A soft smile as you healed him. "The same as whatever happened to you."

"All my life people failed me. Just because I'm Merlin doesn't mean that I was an exception to the torture you and Regulus went through."

"many times my family told me to just conceive a child and just be a wife... Seeing what I hoped my magic would bring to this world fail and see my descendants suffer... It wasn't what i wanted."

That was a shared regret of both you and Merlin, after all, magic was for everyone. He himself was born to completely human parents with absolutely no relation to magic. He lived through an era when pretty much everyone was hung for magic but still managed to survive for... this?

For his own children to do the same?

Apart from the angsty traumatical life experiences you all had and literally parenting a bunch of sad kids...

Their pranks were fucking genius.

Now, you didn't join them in their shenanigans much, especially if it included poor Severus

But from time to time... You would come up with the weirdest, most AWESOME and jawdropping jokes ever developed by mankind

Such as changing all the toilet papers on the bathrooms with an identical realistic cake version of them that would explode with lighters as soon as they were touched, just to piss off both female and male bullies that picked on the poor students- mostly muggleborns

And then, as if you had a better mental state, there was the weekly sessions you had where you just listen to them vent.For more than once, you assured Remus no, he wasn't a mindless monster and yes, you were totally sure he deserved happines, or making Peter see his true worth and not living on what people thought of him, making him gain some confidence. Then there were the "tea parties but actually drinking parties" you went with Sirius in the muggle world where he just cried about his life and then proceeded to pole dance like a maniac as you calmly sipped your water.

Or sitting with Effie and James as you three gossipped and talked shit about the most pureblood families.

But... even if you seemed lively and happy, every listener needed someone else to listen to them too and they were ready to pay back for every time you took care of them.

But it wasn't that easy.

Another fact of having a fucked up family life: Inability to actually react

Such as crying

( why the hell do I keep coming back to angsty side??)

For the longest time you thought it was a hard thing to do.

Like.... how does a person just tear up?

Ohhh, and you didn't even want to cry with an audience watching. That shit was scarier than any Boggart possible.

Then you saw James cry after he saw a Puffskein and... yeah.

Then the day came when they were all talking about birthdays and you said you never celebrates it and... They all stared blankly.

" Wait... like at all?"

"nope, never seen the thrill of it." You answred noncholantly, groaning when Sirius suddenly jumped on your laying figure on the carpet and shook you frustratedly.

"Even I had a birthday celebration in my life! What do you-"

"It never was a celebratory thing, except reminding my family how good of a tool I am... So I never brought it up and-James are you crying?? Remus-no,no not all of you!

Aghh, come on... * affectionately yet awkwardly patting their back as James cried on your neck while the four clutched you from all sides*

After that, it had become a mission for them to show you just how much they appreciated you by showering you with gifts, your favourite meals and even taking you to a muggle concert with the girls.

You totally didn't get wasted and ended up making out with one of them drunkenly after they made you get loose a little bit after that strict life-

They were the family you wished you had but never did, they showed you a lot of things and made you have fun. They showed you how to love and care and they were now... family.

You were ready to, quite literally, die for them

And therefore, as the only one with the knowledge of what was going to happen to them... You had to take action and protect those silly kids from the evil clutches of the common enemy.

"Are you not a kid yourself though?" would be James' answer whenever you spoke about the war, since he too was worried but couldn't let it affect your friends when they relied on him, teasing you playfully with a smile though he was happy you cared about them just as much as they cared about you.

"It's different, I'm Mer-"/ "You are Y/N and our friend who is also 17. It's okay to be scared, you don't have to shoulder everything."

That fucker and his sudden cute yet emotional talks-

It did nothing to even slightly stop you tho, you already made a plan.

Dumbledore obviously knew who you were, how powerful and strong you were and could easily become a supreme wizard/witch, therefore he thought the best way to deal with you was to get rid of you.

Jinxes, poison, harsh training, hard missions that not even the best wizard or witch wouldn't be able to complete...

You stopped all of them, it was as if you were like a killing machine, never wavering back and diving first to the fight just to protect your friends so that they could sleep peacefully for one more night, so that they could smile even slightly a bit more.

Even if you turned back bloody and bruised, having to listen to them scold and pamper you, you just didn't die.

And you knew who was behind all this, and why he was doing it.

"Look, Dumbledore, I don't care if I'm messing up with your plans- which I'm so delighted to do so, you have no idea- but if you get on my way and threaten my friends one more time, know that it's not gonna end up well for you."

"But the prophecy-"

"Damn the prophecy! I'm not letting you manipulate young children into a war that's not theirs to fight! If needed, I'll be the one to fight him off... But if you bring them into this death game, I'll gladly finish you as well."

"Remember, I'm the reason why you have that magic coursing through your veins. And I can take it back."

*dramatic standing up and leaving coolly without the cloak like the Batman*

And even with all these shit going on, having 5638 different meltdowns and existensial crises

"Oh, isn't that the traitor hanging out with those bastards?"

Lucius Malfoy, a pain in my ass

"Oh, if it's not my favourite brat in the world! What is it this time, Malfoy? Are you going to whine because I refused to marry you?"

Well, that was something the Marauders didn't expect. You were supposed to marry him?

What the hell?!

"You should be grateful that it was I who asked for your hand in marriage, Y/L/N-"

Remus clenched his jaw at the clear insult, at him seeing himself above you when it was the other way around. He saw how you fisted at your clothes and he took a hold of your hand under the table. He knew, just like the rest of his friends, that you wished your identity to be hidden, that you didn't want others to see you any different.

But Malfoy was making it very hard for you, for the past 4 years or so.

"Trust me, brat, you are the one who would have been all over the moon if that were to happen."

That cold voice didn't mean something good.

"What did you just say?"

"I said that you are hust pissy bevause for the first time in your life, someone, a woman, stood on her ground and flat out ridiculed you with rejecting you. In front of people. It's very sad that you, like the other blood-suprematists, are void of love and care but guess what?"

"My family marries for love, we are the ones who gave all of you this magic and you dare to belittle me, boy? Patheatic, little man."

Okay this was hot, and now the one who had a crush on you had a bleeding nose-

And that, was the story and the first entry of your "Marauders Diary".

[rrenzwrld]

secreto de amor XII

chapter 12! read chapter 11 here

you were excited about what happened with connie but you also felt guilty about it. you knew jean was overprotective over you with any guy but because his best friend would be involved, you didn’t know how different this would be. you didn’t know how to feel about the situation.

but one thing you were sure about was your feelings for connie. he brought some kind of spice in your life and everything with him felt natural, especially when you started to just embrace him as a person overall. maybe you were falling in love but you’ve been there before and the possibility of going back kinda frightened you.

“whatcha smiling at?” sasha asked while being all up on your phone as you texted connie.

“her man.” tia commented, which prompted you to send a death stare her way.

“man? you ain’t tell us you had a man? who’s the man?” you rolled your eyes before putting your phone down.

“i don’t have a man, sasha.”

“yet.” tia coughed.

“i’ll never have a man. especially after what happened with…” you couldn’t even really say his name, not like it deserved to be said anyway.

“who?” sasha looked at tia because she knew she’d have the answer.

“her ex.” she mumbled and sasha quickly understood.

“but don’t be like that! you’ll have a man, especially one that’s gonna treat you…not like how the other one treated you.”

“his name is gonna start with a c and end with an e…he’s gonna be funny and fine…he’s gonna—“

“t.”

“that’s very specific.”

“girl, we talking about connie!” you immediately shushed tia in case jean was somewhere nearby.

“ohhh! aww~i knew he was talking to somebody new, i didn’t think it was you though. cute!”

“we’re not a thing.”

“they kissed. tongue and everything. sucking each other’s faces off—“

sasha gasped. “oh my god…yall fucked?”

“no. just a kiss, calm down.”

“you saying that like it’s a bad thing. his dick little or something?”

“no, i’d just be surprised if y’all did. you’re so soft and quiet and he’s…he sells drugs.”

“okay, and? money money money~” tia sang.

“he’s cool and we kissed so i’m just tryna see if the kiss was a waste of time.” it obviously wasn’t because it occupied your mind for hours in a day but you just wanted to see if anything would come out of it or if you were just signing an invisible contract to become one of his throw-away hoes.

“evidently not, got you smiling at the phone and shit.” you threw a pillow towards tia.

“you got jokes, huh?”

“what’s going on in here?” jean came into your room.

“none of your business, why are you in here?”

“to let you know i’m going to the store and if you wanted to come?”

“so it’s just fuck us huh?” tia commented and jean narrowed her eyes at her.

“yep. you coming, y/n?” you nodded just to get out the house.

“you’re gonna leave us?” sasha stood up from the bed, pouting.

“no, i’ll be back. just take care of the house.”

you and jean went to the store to get more groceries because it was the first time since he’s been back.

you two were walking down snack aisle when you thought you saw connie with some girl and eventually you were sure it was him. they were laughing, giggling, and touching all up on each other and your heart felt like it was breaking into a million pieces. it showed on your face and jean picked up on your energy shift.

“hey, what’s wrong? you don’t like chocolate chip?” jean asked innocently as he held up a box of chocolate chip cookies.

“i’m okay. what else do we need to get?” you tried to shake the scene off but you couldn’t.

“umm…that’s it. you sure you okay?”

“yeah, can we leave now?”

“of course.” he nodded. the only time you rushed him was if something was really wrong or you didn’t wanna be somewhere so he understood. on the ride back, he did have questions but he knew not to bother you if you looked upset. so when you finally got home you went straight to your room but forgot sasha and tia were still there.

“what’s wrong? what happened at the store?” you shook your head but sasha and tia looked at each other, knowing something was wrong.

“you saw connie?” tia whispered. you were quiet so that gave away your answer. “don’t tell me he was with another bitch bruh…” you were quiet again.

“i’m sorry y/n…i can talk to him if you want. this might all be a big misunderstanding.” sasha rubbed your leg. you didn’t feel like crying or anything, you were just mad. his lil kiss started to get you into feelings you were kinda excited for but then he goes and have another bitch in his face? yeah you knew it was a waste of time.

“it is what it is,” you shrugged. “i just don’t think he’s for me.”

“don’t give up! maybe it was a cousin you saw him with or something.” tia side-eyed sasha.

“be forreal.”

“it didn’t look like a cousin. the way they were all up on each other.”

“were they kissing?” you shook your head. “at least that’s good.”

“yeah i just need to take a step back.”

“a few steps all the way back.” tia’s comment made you and sasha giggle before you all talked some more. after a few more minutes, tia and sasha ended up leaving and jean was knocking on your door.

“come in!”

“hey, you okay? you looked pretty upset earlier.” jean came in and sat on your bed.

“i’m fine. just a mood swing or something.” jean knew you were lying and was battling in his head whether or not he should ask you what he really wants to ask you.

“okay…i just have a question,” you didn’t look at him but was silent just to listen to him. “what’s up with you and connie?” your heart sank again but you couldn’t explain why if there’s truthfully nothing going on, at least not anymore.

“nothing. why?”

“i overheard yall talking about him. i just wanted to ask you just in case i misheard or whatever.”

“we kissed but we’re not dating or anything.” jean had to admit he was a bit bothered by what you told him but his priority was with you, not connie.

“okay then, just…i don’t want you getting hurt. i want your heart and mind protected and honestly, connie is not gonna be the one to do that for you. he’s my best friend and all and we’re cool but, you will always come first. i’ll always be on your side, understood?” you nodded in confirmation. luckily you hadn’t gotten that far with connie for anything to change. you hoped that outside of you, him and jean would still be friends because you didn’t wanna ruin anything for your brother.

[ilwonuu]

Hi. Can I please request a jeno and noona/older woman - wherein he surprises her how good he is in bed. Overstimulation/dom jeno is hot too. 😊

um YES. this man is ROTTING MY BRAIN SO BAD. I LOVE THIS IDEA SO MUCH!!! thank you for ur request!!!! i hope you enjoy😇😇

ˑ  𖥻 ִ ۫  ּshow me. l.jeno

summary- the boy you’ve been seeing surprises you with a couple things when you come over to his house for the first time.

warnings- kinda quick paced (as always), unprotected sex, creampie(duh), overstimulation, fingering, mirror sex, multiple orgasms, kissing, dom!jeno sub!reader, dirty talk (mostly jeno), pet names (baby, pretty, love) jeno is called baby , cum eating, lmk if i missed something

authors note- sorry if the age gap wasnt what you wanted i kinda just did something random so lmk if you want me to change it anon!! 💖happy hoeing (i need him)

you and jeno have been dating for a few months now. you meeting him through one of your mutual work friends. he was a little bit younger than you. your friend mark always joking about you being a cougar.

jeno was being 22 and you being 29… you don’t mind jenos age because he has always acted mature. he was a responsible man for his age. you really liked him. he had invited you over to sleep at his house since you both are free from work that day.

you have never been to jeno’s apartment. you two always agreeing to spend time at your house. you were excited to see his house for the first time. getting ready to go excitedly.

you quickly make your way over to the address he gave you after getting ready. making your way to his apartment door knocking slightly. he opens his door shortly smiling as soon as he saw you. “hi beautiful.” he says pulling you into his apartment. “hi baby.” you smile at him as you look around at his space.

“damn! it’s nice in here.” you laugh slightly feeling him pull you close to him. “thank you love.” he smiles at you before grabbing your jacket and bag from you. “i cleaned before you got here. i was making sure it was perfect for you.” he sets your things down pulling you towards his room. “okay this is my room. you want to watch something?” he sits down on his bed, you slowly joining him after. “yea baby we can watch something.” he pulls you closer to cuddle into him. “or we could do something else.” he says with a innocent face. “and what is that?” he face shifted into a smirk so quickly.

“i can make you feel good.” he pulls your legs over his lap. “oh really?” he nods quickly. “if you’d let me.” he smiles at you. “yea…show me.” he kisses your lips quickly pulling your pants down. he runs his fingers over your clothed pussy slowly. he grabs you to shift you both so you are now facing the mirror on the wall from the bed.

“gonna watch me finger this sweet pussy okay?” he pulls you into a rough kiss. “yes-“ you nod quickly at him through the mirror. he rips your panties off ,you never breaking eye contact with him in the mirror. “look at you baby. responding so well?” he smirks at you and your sub state.

you don’t understand how he got you to submit to him so quickly. you’re used to being in control during sex but seeing jeno like this was so-

he interrupts your thoughts as he slides two fingers inside of you. “so fucking wet hm? listen to that. my fingers are sliding right fucking in.” he laughs at you playfully. moving your head so you can see his movements in the mirror better.

“look at you squirming under my touch.” he fucks his fingers deeper into you. watching you in the mirror. “fucking look at me y/n.” he moves your head again so you making eye contact with him in the mirror. “jen- fuck fuck.” he curls his fingers slowly adding another as soon as you try to talk.

“yea? what’s wrong?” he asks mockingly. him not breaking eye contact with you. “feels so f-fucking good.” you manage you moan out.

“yea? you gonna cum pretty?” his thumb immediately going to your clit after his words. “jeno- oh fuck im gonna cum.” you start to wiggle out of his arms. he holds you tightly in place moving his fingers faster. “look at you. you are so fucking gorgeous.” he whispers into your ear. he keeps fucking you with his fingers.

you see stars cumming hard onto his fingers. “yea baby. you are so fucking sexy.” he milks your cum out of your pussy slowly. “you see yourself? so dirty for me.” he smirks at you through the mirror.

“jeno- oh my god.” you gasp feeling his fingers start to fuck into you again. “you can cum again right? let me fuck you with my fingers again before i fuck you on my cock huh?” he looks at you for a response.

you are unable to form a sentence with the pace of this finger. “jen- fuck.” is all you manage to get it out. you moaning at his sweaty body. you’re watching his focused expression on you in the mirror. “you gonna cum already? you’re clenching so tight on my fingers.” he says into your neck while watching your legs try to shut to fight the pleasure.

“keep your legs fucking open.” he grabs your thighs with his other hand forcing your legs open. allowing his fingers to go deeper. “fucking creaming all over. fucking filthy.” he spits at you. you’re moaning uncontrollably at this point. he looks so sexy through your hazy eyes. he hasn’t taken his eyes off you once.

“jeno im c-cumming!” you legs shaking under his grip. “cum for me pretty.” you’re cumming all over his fingers. he murmurs into your neck kissing it softly as his fucks you through your high on his fingers. he watches you with sweetly.

he slowly pulls his fingers out of your cunt. bringing them up to your lips. “suck baby.” he orders you with a stern voice. you open your mouth for his fingers feeling them slowly being pushed into your mouth. “good hm? taste so good always.”

you are shocked at jeno’s behavior. not seeing this side of him until recently. you liked it a lot. maybe too much because you’re already begging jeno to fuck you already. “fuck me please jeno.” you squirm in his arms causing him to laugh at your pathetic state.

“okay. ill give you what you want since you did so well.” his breath against your skin making you shiver. he lifts you up easily turning you over onto your knees. “you’re so wet my love.” he leans into your ear. “keep these legs open okay?” he demands. you nod quickly.

you hear him shifting behind you. he takes off his shirt quickly. pulling off his pants and boxers immediately after. “condom or?” you shake your head no. “please no condom just fuck me jeno please!“ he smirks at you. he rubs his dick gently over your folds teasingly. “so fucking wet hm pretty?” he slides his tip in just to immediately take it out. “f-fuck jeno.” you hear a deep groan come from him as he shifts again behind you causing you to look behind you confused. “just let me have a little taste.” his head moving in between your legs. you feel him lick a thick stripe up your slit. you push your ass back into his tongue.

he sucks on your clit roughly. then he suddenly pulls away. “i need to be inside you right now fuck.” he moves back up to line his dick up with your pussy. he pushes his dick in quickly. immediately fucking you into the mattress. “so fucking t-tight.” his hips already speeding up. “je-jeno fuck.” you feel him grab your hair pulling you back against his chest. him now fucking you at a deeper angle. “so fucking good.” you moan out. “yea baby? haven’t been fucked this good before?” he suddenly remembers the mirror turning you to look at yourself in the mirror.

“look at this. my dirty girl.” you try to keep your eyes open. “gonna cum inside this perfect cunt hm?” he grips your hip tightly watching you closely in the mirror. “jen-i can’t too much-“ you say through tears. jeno is fucking you so good you are sobbing at this point. “i know you can take it.” he smiles at you innocently. you moan in response. “you are so fucking sexy im gonna cum.” he moans into your neck.

“im cumming jeno!” you see his pleasured face causing you to immediately cum. “f-fuckk baby.” you watch him fuck his cum into you slowly. your cum mixing with his inside you. it slowly oozing out of your pussy when he pulls out. your knees finally giving up on you. “oh my god.” you breathe out looking back at your boyfriend. “you okay?” he laughs quietly. you nod in response. “i haven’t came that hard before.” you laugh closing your legs. “yea? im glad it was good baby.” he smiles at you.

“give me a kiss.” he lays next to you suddenly giving you a quick kiss. “you have any more surprises?” he nods his head. “what really jeno?” you chuckle at his expression. “we’re gonna go to dinner so get ready!” he says slightly shouting it. “if i can walk.” you add. “ill help you baby.” he smiles kissing your head before getting up with you to get ready for the sudden dinner.

[callsign-squints]

Since when? ~ Mickey ‘Fanboy’ Garcia

Summary: Mickey introduces his wife to his friends after a successful mission

Pairing: Mickey ‘Fanboy’ Garcia x Fem!reader

Warnings: fluffy, nothing else other than the guys poking fun at each other, oh and Hangman. He’s a warning all on his own

Notes: there isn’t enough Fanboy content so I’m just gonna make something myself. This is also a long one, I got carried away. It’s not my best so don’t judge too harshly :’)

———————————————————————

Fanboy doesn’t understand how the topic of love lives were brought up. He’ll admit that he zoned out on a good portion of Hangman’s rant on the last girl he had been with. He may have also started mindlessly scrolling through his camera roll and landed on a picture of you in his phone that he particularly liked. It was a picture of the two of you on a recent date night. He took the picture as you were looking at the ocean and he couldn’t help but think you looked beautiful. You weren’t even doing anything in particular and you didn’t have to. He always thought you were beautiful and that would never change.

“Fanboy! Are you even listening to me?”

Startled, Fanboy looks up and sees that everyone’s attention was on him now. Payback was biting his lip to keep himself from laughing while Phoenix clasps a hand down on his shoulder.

“Yeah yeah, I was listening to you talk about your date with Marsha.”

“Maria.”

“Yeah.. wait what did I say?”

The group around him laughs as Hangman throws his hands up, in frustration. Fanboy shrugs it off and goes back to looking at a couple pictures of you he has in a specific folder in his phone.

“What are ya lookin’ at there Fanboy?” Payback says from over his shoulder. Fanboy attempts to lock his phone to prevent Payback from seeing all the photos he has of you but it was to no avail.

“Ohhhhh do you have yourself a little girlfriend??”

“What? No!”

“Ohh come onnnnn! How’re you gonna lie to me like that? I thought we were best friends!”

Fanboy knows that Payback is joking with him but he also knew that he was right. They were best friends and they did tell each other everything. Well, almost everything. It wasn’t that he was ashamed of you. Hell no, not in the slightest. He was just a private person. He’d rather keep his home and work life separate. He knew at some point, he was going to end up telling Payback about you and now seemed better than nothing. Especially since he had already gotten a peek at you from his phone.

Sighing, Fanboy looks up at Payback from his seat, around the pool table, “She’s not my girlfriend.”

“So she’s your side hoe? Damn Fanboy, I didn’t peg you as that kinda guy.”

“What!? No! Are you kidding me?! She’s not my side hoe! She’s my wife!”

Mickey didn’t realize how loud he had said that. Once again, everyone around him had their attention on him. He heaved another sigh and rubbed a hand on the back of his neck. Everyone’s expressions varied from either shock to confusion.

“You’re married?! Since when?! You’ve never said anything about dating, let alone being married to someone!” His eyes connected with Hangman as he gave Fanboy an incredulous look.

“It’s not like any of you asked me, specifically. Besides, I try to keep my personal and work life separate. I didn’t even tell Payback if that makes it any better.”

At that he received a smack to the shoulder from Phoenix. He was shocked, as he grabbed at the place she had hit and gave her a questioning look.

“You’re telling me that you’ve been hiding a girl from Halo and I, that we could’ve been talking to this entire time?!” Phoenix glared at him while he rubbed the spot she hit.

“I wasn’t hiding her from you! I was just-“

“When can we meet her?”

Fanboy whips around to stare at Payback, who had a calm look on his face.

“You want to meet her?”

“I think we all kind of want to meet her.” Came from Bob, who was sitting on the other side of Phoenix. The others around them all nodded in agreement as Fanboy debated, silently.

“Yeah man, I wanna see the little lady who has captured the heart of my best friend.” Says Payback who places a hand down on Fanboys shoulder. He knew that his wife would be off of work by now. You had texted him that you were at the store and you would be cooking dinner by the time he left the Hard Deck.

“Let me call her really quick. She’s making dinner soon so..” Mickey walks outside and dials your number. It rings twice before you finally pick up.

“Hey Mick.”

“Hey baby, are you still at the store?” He can’t help the stupid smile that grows on his face, at the sound of your voice.

“Yeah I’m still getting some things. What’s up? Did you need me to pick something up for you?”

“Oh no no, I don’t need anything. That’s not why I called.” He started biting his thumb nail, a nervous habit that Mickey has tried to break but it never usually works. “They found out. About you, about us. Payback was looking over my shoulder and he saw me looking at a picture of us from our last date and then he started asking questions and everyone was looking at me-“

“Hey hey, Mickey, it’s okay! I don’t mind that they know about us. Hell, I figured that it was going to come out sometime, and if anyone was going to figure it out, albeit accidentally, it was going to be be Payback.”

Mickey let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. Why did he think she would be mad at him? She was supportive in his decision to keep their relationship quiet. She was always understanding; that’s why he loved her so much.

“Oh and another thing, they want to meet you. Like, today, I think.”

The other line on the phone was quiet for a second. He knew he dropped a bomb on her so he wasn’t surprised by her reaction.

“Well damn, that was quick. If you’re okay with it, then so am I. Are they going to join us for dinner?”

“Yeah I think so.”

“Hmm okay, well, I’m glad I’m still here then. I’m going to finish getting the things we need for dinner and then I’ll be home. Text me when you leave the bar.”

“Okay baby, I will. Be careful at the store okay? Call me if you need anything.”

“I will. Also, quick question, did you tell them about-“

Sensing where she was going with it, Mickey, interrupted, “No no no, I didn’t get to that part.”

“Oh well, this’ll be fun to see. I’m gonna get back to shopping honey, I love you.”

“I love you too baby. Be safe.”

Mickey went back inside, after pocketing his phone. He was met with Hangman making eye contact with him.

“Well?”

“She was cool with y’all meeting her and having dinner with us. She’s at the store right now so it’s probably best that we give her time to finish up there before we head on over there.”

Payback and Rooster both stand up and put a hand on each of Fanboys shoulders.

“Sounds like a plan to me. We got time for another round of pool.” Rooster grins playfully at Payback and Fanboy, while Bob sets up another game.

——————————————

With Payback driving, Fanboy in the passenger seat, along with Hangman and Coyote in the back, they were close to arriving at Fanboy’s house that was close to base.

“So let me get this straight. She’s a nurse, you met her at a bar, dated for 3 years, then you got married and have been married for 2 and a half years? And we’re barely finding out about this now?” Hangman looks at him from the backseat of the car for answers.

“Yes, Hangman, I already told you that at the Hard Deck.”

“Sorry man, it just surprises me that you managed to keep that from us for a while. If anything, I thought Bob was going to be the one with a secret wife.”

That got a laugh out of everyone in the car and Fanboy rubbed his hand on his pant leg as they pull up to his house. He nerves we’re eating at him. This was going to be interesting.

———————————————

Upon opening the door, Mickey headed straight for the kitchen, knowing where you were, after putting his bag down by the door. He paused in the door way after looking at your attire: a pair of leggings, white socks, and one of his flannels swallowing your figure. The stupid grin came back on his face and he felt at peace. You turned around the moment you felt someone else in the kitchen.

“Hey honey.”

“Hey baby. Whatcha makin’? It smells good.”

Mickey came over to the stove and placed a kiss on your lips before wrapping his arms around your shoulders from behind.

“I decided on making nachos, I hope that’s okay?”

“Yeah baby, that’s fine. Don’t worry about it.”

You were leaning into him and the little moment of peace was interrupted by someone clearing their throat. You and Mickey turned around and saw his friends all staring at the display of affection. One of them stepped up to introduce themselves.

“I don’t think we’ve formally met yet. I’m-“

“Payback, I know. Mickey talks about you all the time. I’m Y/n, Mickey’s wife.”

“He talks about- You talk about me?” Payback looks behind her to look at Fanboy.

“Well yeah, I tell her everything.”

“And you don’t tell me jack shit when it comes to your love life. I see where your loyalties lie.”

Mickey rolls his eyes as you laugh. Payback and you shook hands before everyone else introduced themselves.

“Bob.”

“Hangman.”

“Phoenix.”

“Rooster.”

“Coyote.”

You smiled as they all gave you a small greeting.

“It’s nice to finally have faces to put to the names I hear constantly, and I hope you all are okay with nachos. I didn’t think we would be having people over so this was the first thing that popped inside of my head.”

Everyone gave you a reassuring smile or nod and you felt more at ease. You wanted to make a good impression, especially since they all meant a lot to Mickey.

“You’re good pretty lady. It smells good already.”

“Hangman, don’t flirt with my wife.”

Hangman smirks and winks at you when he thinks Fanboy isn’t looking. Coyote gives him a swift hit in the back of the head and you roll your eyes as you continue cooking.

“The house is really beautiful. I love the view of the ocean from here.” Rooster says while looking at some of the pictures hanging up on the wall, with Bob and Phoenix. Phoenix gushes at the pictures from y’all’s wedding with Bob. Rooster smiles at the moments captured in time of you and your husband.

“Thank you. The view is one of my favorite things about living here.”, you say from your position in the kitchen, cutting up tomatoes for salsa. Mickey gazes over at you in adoration. “Oh by the way, I didn’t end up getting any beer because I didn’t know what everyone drinks.”, you add on when you make eye contact with him.

“I’ll go get some. What about you little lady, what’s your drink of choice? Beer? Vodka? Tequila?”, Hangman says while asking Payback for his keys and tapping Coyote to come with him.

“Oh I don’t drink.”, Y/n says with a small laugh.

“Now, you’re pulling my leg. Fanboy here said he met you at a bar. You’re telling me you didn’t drink then?”, Hangman says with a smirk on his face.

Y/n looks over at Mickey, then back to Hangman, “Let me rephrase that: I can’t drink.”

Jake looks more confused than ever, along with the rest of them, “I’m not following.”

Upon seeing the others confused faces, Y/n looks over to her husband. Mickey walks over and unbuttons the middle buttons of his wife’s (his) flannel shirt for her since her hands were busy chopping up tomatoes.

She sports a little 5 month baby bump that protrudes from under a white tank top she has on. Mickey rubs his hand up and down your bump, feeling the baby kicking at his palm. Everyone’s faces went from confusion to complete and utter shock. Fanboy definitely didn’t tell them this.

Mickey gives an uneasy smile and rubs his neck, “Surprise?”

“Man, what the hell?! First you don’t tell me that you’re married, now you didn’t tell me that you’re going to be a dad?! I thought we were friends! I better be your kids godfather, you son of a bitch!”

You laugh at Paybacks reaction and wipe your hands on a dish towel.

“I didn’t even notice a baby bump! I knew you were glowing, I just didn’t know it was because of that!”, Phoenix smiled at you as she came over and gave you a surprised (but welcomed) hug.

Mickey received a couple pats on the back from his friends as he looked over at you talking with Phoenix. A happy smile on your face as you cradled your belly, making his heart pound rapidly in his chest at your happiness. She was placing her hands on your belly as she felt the baby press against her hand. Laughter irrupting from the both of you.

“Okay yeah, you’re definitely not drinking tonight little lady. Nope, not on my watch.”, Hangman shakes his head as he rubs Y/n’s shoulder. The rest of the guys, and Phoenix, agreeing along with him. Bob even offering to go to the store to buy lemonade or fruit punch as an alternative.

Mickey laughs at his friends antics and pulls you over to him. He wraps his arms around you from behind and cradles your belly in his hands. Y/n leans back into his chest and let’s out a sigh of relief. This turned out way better than either of them expected. At least now they know that their little boy will have many uncles and an aunt, to look up to and protect him.

———————————————————————

Hopefully y’all enjoyed that! The idea popped into my head and I ran with it :) Feedback is much appreciated and I appreciate you for taking the time to read it!

[bonny-kookoo]

Jungkook: Bloodlust 🔞 1

In which Jungkook's poor choice in women gives him a big fat serving of reality- and leads him to you at the same time.

Tags/Warnings: Vampire!Jungkook, human!Reader, strangers/Enemies to lovers, jk kind of a dick at first sorry, sexual tension, corruption kink, size & strength kink, blood drinking, biting, more TBA in future chapters

Additional Chapter Warnings: JK is kind of a royal ass, he a hoe, but he's also kind of hot pls send help

A/N: attempt 987 of trying to get this out. Tumblr, your mobile editor is ass. Shorter chapters because anything over 1~2k crashes the app for me.

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You're kind of pretty like this, even when stained in blood. It's hilarious how he has to focus on the way your collarbone looks, delicate necklace swinging from your neck while you push down on his shoulder. You're talking. He can't hear.

How did he get here?

Well, poor choice in women, first and foremost. It's no secret that he's a lover with a body count guessed like lottery numbers by everyone who knows him even just a little. He's blunt. He swears a lot, and he's covered in piercings and ink. He plays his video games and music too loud, the only interaction you yourself really know being your weekly requests for him to turn it down, which is always responded by a smirk and a 'what you wanna do about it, princess?'.

He's even opened the door shirtless before, boner still clearly visible when you'd disturbed his private time.

He thinks you're a walking joke, a punchline waiting to happen, and you're aware of this. He never takes you seriously, in no way, shape, or form. But you also can't just let him die on the ground like this, not when it's technically not even his fault.

Wait, how did we end up here?

Oh right, sex with a whore.

Now, Jungkook fucks around. He doesn't make a secret of it, not by a long shot, but there's still rather traditional values he still holds highly- one of them being faithfulness. Never even once had the girl even mentioned a potential partner, let alone a fiance who ended up finding her with Jungkook's cock down her throat in the bedroom. He scoffs to himself. The blowjob wasn't even worth the rabid attacks that followed.

He'd met her online- on a dating app he has to basically hook up whenever he's up for it, and when she told him she lived in the same apartment building, he'd agreed to meet up. Who could've thought that she was cheating on her soon to be husband with him? Or, at the very least, who could've thought she'd be so fucking stupid in hiding it, not even remembering when the guy would come home from work?

Vampires are violent creatures.

He knows it first hand from himself how easy they're riled up. Aggression is a key part of every vampire's character- a curse, so to say, making them too dangerous to ever really fit in. It's why apartment complexes like these have been funded by the government; places for them to live amongst one another, to keep the rest of humanity safe.

Which makes it even more ridiculous that you're helping him right now.

You're painfully human, hands so warm they feel almost hot, no red found in your eyes. You look like a rabbit, waiting to become the wolf's next meal.

And you basically chose to live in a whole zoo full of starving beasts, ready to snatch a taste.

He can't deny the appeal you have. He usually doesn't go for something like you- typically chooses older girls, dominant one's or those who seem like they wanna prove something. They do all the work, while he can just enjoy the show. It's easy, simple, and a quick and comfortable way to quench his thirst. Though vampire blood tastes rather stale, he takes it without complaint.

Human blood is taboo, after all, if it's not from a blood bank.

"Over here!" You call out, and he can barely really hear it, sense of hearing dulled out to the max almost. You explain something to the paramedics who instantly work on him, and he finally let's himself slip into unconsciousness at that, now that he's in professional hands.

And he swears, he's gonna quit that online dating shit for a while after this.