#you wont get a six pack overnight

[littlestpetgoth]

Do you think natural talent is required to be a great artist?

not at all, im sure that the rate of improvement will vary between people based on whatever it may be, but art is not a talent it’s a skill. like most skills its easier for some than it is for others, but i think if you can teach yourself to have a good mindset about learning and improving then anyone is capable of becoming a good artist.

i see a lot of people who feel stumped and frustrated that they aren’t learning or improving as quickly as other artist/ aren’t as good as artists that have been practicing for longer than them, but like working out it’s hard work and everyone’s experience is going to be different. some people have an easier time understanding shapes, colors, and volumes, those people will have an easier time understanding the. fundamentals ig! your process is never going to be the same as someone else’s so you shouldn’t compare your journey with theirs..

ive seen plenty of people create incredible things from all different kinds of backgrounds, ive seen an artist who is unable to draw with their hands so they’re forced to use their feet/mouth, their disability hasn’t stopped them because they don’t feel defeated to create..

sorry if it’s hard to understand what im saying im sure there’s a better way to word it, but if you’re ever feeling sad that you’re not where you wish you were on your art journey, just remember that as long as you don’t give up you will always improve. those improvements are slow and subtle but they are there, you just won’t notice it until you take the time to look back on your old work.

if you feel like you are stagnating, try doing studies, draw something out of your comfort zone, identify a part that you feel unsatisfied with and work on improving it.

im purely a hobbyist, so im not under any pressure to perfect the things i create for the art industry. i think its really important to prioritize your own enjoyment when creating art, because it should be fun! it should be fun to use your brain and to put out something that you felt in your creative organs.

it always breaks my heart to see people be so broken about their natural ability to create whatever their brain comes up with.. so i feel very passionately about enjoying the process..

i understand thst finding that patience is harder for people who rely on their art for money, so i have no advice for relieving that stress. unfortunately the art market is very over saturated (does not help with all of the ai art bs) and i wish you good luck..

uhh tldr i think that art, like most skills, is something that everyone learns at a different pace. one workout routine is not going to bring everyone the same results at the same time. everyone’s needs and experiences are going to be different . people need to accept that..

[dragons-bones]

FFXIV Write Entry #2: Cursed Covenant

Prompt: aberrant || Master Post || On AO3

--

“Do you even know how hard it is to make the front page of the Eye for a night of drunken debauchery?” Rereha said disparagingly, pulling herself up onto the chair.

The newspaper—indeed, a copy of the Mythril Eye, its front-page reporting on the aftermath of an orgy-turned-somnus-bust in lurid detail—being held in front of the table’s other seated patron folded over, and Nero glared at the lalafell over the rims of his tinted glasses. “First, don’t think I didn’t notice that deliberate choice of word in there,” he sniped, and sniffed derisively at Rere’s delighted, juvenile giggle. “Second, how the fuck did you know I was here?”

“Saw you from the third-floor solar of the Rising Stones,” she said, gently laying her bow on the tabletop and unceremoniously dumping her pack next to it. “And ain’t no mistaking that particular combination of platinum blonde hair and bloody red doublet. If you don’t want to be recognized from a distance, wear blue.”

“I’ll wear blue when Synnove decides she isn’t going to decapitate that Hannish fop with her bare hands.”

Rereha cackled in amusement, tipping her hat in a salute as Nero snapped his broadsheet back into place, and gave the waitress her breakfast order when the hyur came over.

Gloom hung over Mor Dhona, as it was wont to do five times out of six; Synnove had stayed overnight after conferring with Urianger and the twins (the elezen ones, not the carbuncle ones) about something arcanima-related, but had immediately teleported home to Limsa Lominsa that morning as soon as the weather began to turn, her face twisted into the peculiar grimace she wore during a synesthesia-induced migraine. Heron was assisting Slafborn with some sort of planned sortie with a number of other adventurers deep into gigas territory, and Alakhai had been gone to who-knew-where before anyone else had awakened, while the rest of the Scions were scattered about Eorzea on assorted business.

And Rere, not having any current immediate obligations since the Twin Adders had her out on permanent ‘loan’ to the Scions of the Seventh Dawn, had spotted Nero sitting at a back table on the House of Splendors’ patio among the breakfast rush, and decided now was as good a time as any to see about implementing a little idea of hers.

A fun little idea she’d been rolling around her brain for a while now.

Rereha grinned into her newly arrived tea, and settled to the task of devouring her breakfast. Never conduct business on an empty stomach, after all.

As she scraped the last of her cheese-smothered scrambled eggs and smoked sausage and dragon pepper sauce into a pile of gooey, greasy goodness, Nero closed his newspaper and folded it in half, tossing it onto the table next to his own empty plate. He stared at her as she shoveled her perfect final bite into her mouth.

“All right,” he said waspishly, picking up his coffee mug, “what is it that Eorzea’s premier degenerate wants?”

She chewed thoroughly and swallowed, because while she was a degenerate, but she was a degenerate with manners. As she dabbed her mouth clean with a napkin and pushed her plate aside, Rere said, “I’m hurt, Nero. You’re a friend! I like to spend time with my friends, even the ones who wanted to shove me into a primal-eating warmachina at one point just to see what would happen.”

The lalafell smiled, angling her head just enough that she was sure she could catch the morning sunlight on her teeth in a blinding smile against her dark skin.

Nero pushed his sunglasses up his nose, and took a pointedly loud slurp of coffee.

Rere pouted. “Damnit, too thick again.” She glanced at him and said, sly, “It’s like your accent when you get too worked up and slip back into Garlean, the Echo translates it so you sound like an Eastern Thanalani hick who’s never had tea served properly with goat’s milk.”

“That’s more like it,” the Garlean muttered into his cup. He frowned, then, and tilted his head at her. “Why wouldn’t one have goat’s milk with their tea?”

“Argh!” Rereha shoved her hat back and faceplanted onto the table, hands flat next to her face. “Stupid northern farmer stock, stop making my insults fall flat!”

“Get new material. Get to the point, too, while you’re at it.”

“Fine, fine.” She grabbed her pack, opening it and digging into it. After a moment’s rummaging, she yanked out a rolled-up piece of parchment, and shoved the pack aside once more. Dropping it next to her, she crossed her arms on the table and stared at Nero. “I want you to build me a bow. A very special kind of bow.”

His sunglasses of course hid his eyes, but she recognized that particular twitch of his left cheek that usually meant he was interested. “And why should I do that?” he said, because he wouldn’t be Nero if he didn’t play a little bit hard to get.

Rereha smiled, and held up a finger. “One,” she said primly, “Cid won’t, because he doesn’t create weapons. We are going to ignore the whole thing with the G-Warrior, because we shouldn’t judge a man wanting to get his grubby little engineering hands all over a hot pristine Allagan warmachina.”

Nero muttered something that sounded like, The audacity of not telling myself or Synnove.

She didn’t comment. That had been very rude of Cid.

“Two,” she continued, raising another finger, “this would not be Synnove’s specialty. She likes engineering, but this requires precision and knowledge currently outside her wheelhouse, and while I have no doubt she would become a master in the course of this project, I’d rather not wait the extra time this will take.”

He hummed noncommittally; he’d become significantly less likely to bristle at the mention of other people’s brilliance in the last few years…so long as those other people weren’t present, at least.

“Finally,” Rereha said, holding up a third finger, “and most importantly: you do create weapons, you do have the precision and knowledge already to pull this off, and you have exactly the kind of creative deviousness necessary to ensure this is a masterwork.”

Nero tipped his sunglasses back down his nose, and harrumphed. “Flattery will get you everywhere,” he drawled. “What’s the project?”

She slid the parchment across the table towards him.

He picked it up and unrolled it, so it was flat before him. For a few long moments, he merely looked at it, absorbing what she had roughly sketched out, his blue eyes darting over to the corner to read some of her notes. And then his eyebrows began to rise.

“This,” Nero said, precise in a way that was deeply judgmental, “is an abomination.”

Rereha hummed in agreement.

“Absolutely disgusting.”

She shrugged, a what can you do? gesture.

Nero’s eyes glittered with manic energy as he looked at her. “I love it.”

Her grin was wide and demented and absolutely evil.

[aceofaces20]

What would be a valid thing to submit as evidence for adhd? I feel like my teachers never noticed anything, all it ever says on my report is 'quiet', and im in the uk and you need school reports for diagnosis, and i feel like i wont be taken seriously cos they dont say 'bouncing off the walls' or something

I feel you, nonny. I wasn’t diagnosed until college because I was just “quiet.”

Odds are, if a lot of the symptoms add up enough to make you SUSPECT you have ADHD, you probably have it. But more research is always good!

So like many things, ADHD is a spectrum. The two ends of it are Inattentive to Hyperactive- and then you have people like me, in the middle, with the Combined version. Some people have more Inattentive than Hyperactive, some have more Hyperactive than Inattentive. Everyone who has ADHD experiences the symptoms a little differently.

You can find about six thousand symptoms lists online, but here I’ll tell you things that usually don’t end up on those lists that my therapist told me a lot of her patients ended up experiencing aside from listed symptoms.

(Note: Initially I tried to keep these short. Yeah, that didn’t work. I bolded the important parts.)

1. Insomnia, or at least a super screwy sleep schedule. No joke, this can be super detrimental and will only serve to exacerbate your symptoms. “Just set a sleep schedule!! You’ll feel better!” they all say- Thanks Barbara if I had any control over when my brain chooses to sleep at all I wouldn’t have this issue, ok?

-a solution to this is to, in all actuality, condition yourself. Start ONLY using your bed for sleep. Get a little chair or something in your room if you’re also a hermit like I was growing up (mushroom chairs are gr9) and once you get out of bed, don’t let yourself get back on it for more than a few minutes unless you’re going to sleep.

Some nights it’s not enough, but in general for me personally this has been an actual lifesaver- I can go from being not tired to exhausted at the drop of a hat in normal life anyway (another symptom they don’t usually tell you about) so it’s nice to be able to make it work for me for once- I get into bed, maybe spend 30 minutes restless and then I’m out.

2. On the subject of sleep. You kids ever heard of the sleep of the dead? Because guess what, I have ignored literal fire alarms in dorms because of it. About 1-2 hours into my sleep I enter a state akin to a bear hibernating. I have slept through wake-up alarms, slept through emergency alerts, slept through FIRE alarms, slept though friends and family attempting to wake me… you get the picture.

3. On the note of the hibernating bear. You constantly wake up angry (or at least disgruntled) at the universe and take a really, really long time to power on. No, I’m not talking “a case of the mornings.” I’m talking it takes me until noon some days to actually feel somewhat alert. I’m talking feeling nothing but seething rage at anyone who tries to engage you in higher brain function before you’re fully awake.-the seething rage is more personal to me, but, every single last one of my friends who’s ADHD has issues getting up in the morning. There’s hating mornings, and then there’s hating mornings.

4. About mornings. You’re constantly late to anything in the morning because you just couldn’t “get going.” i.e., you knew and 100% wanted to get up and get moving but your brain said “nah, let’s just sit here on tumblr mobile for a while k?”-it’s very difficult to describe this part of executive dysfunction with words, because it comes off as laziness to a lot of neurotypicals. It’s not laziness. It’s having the motivation and and will and the drive to do something and not forgetting about it and it still doesn’t get done.

“Why didn’t you do x?” they’ll ask. And you just sit there thinking shit, you meant to, really, honest to god meant to, it was on your brain to do and yet all you could actually do that day was sit around and watch terrible TV. And then you feel terrible because YOU think you’re lazy.It’s not laziness. It’s executive dysfunction.

5. Another not so well known EXDYF fact: Mental math or memorization for you will always be the literal bane of your existence. Teachers always told me I was a “smart kid” in school (I am, but not the point) and then they’d wonder why I couldn’t memorize a five line poem.

Or I’d start off with a 60 on a math test, until my teacher would comb through my work by hand (only useful math teacher I ever had in high school tbh) and I’d end up with a 92 because nearly all of my mistakes involved basic arithmetic errors. Even though I was able to use a calculator on the test.

(One time I decided 21-19=14. To this day 8 years later I still do not know from what abyss my brain pulled that info from.)

“You’re smart! Just focus!” I can’t choose what my brain decides to focus on that easily, Sharon, not without a lot of crying and panicking.

6. But wait! You say. I have really obscure information from a fandom that I can infodump on someone at a moment’s notice! Surely that means I’m just Lazy and Unmotivated, right? I guess I just can’t be bothered to memorize the important stuff.

*Loud buzzer noise* Stop right there. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200.

I will take you by the shoulders and look deep into your eyes and make you realize that guess what? If you have an ADHD brain, you have NO control over telling your brain what is important and what is not. Zero. Zip. Zilch. Nada. Your brain decides, and you usually get no say in the matter.

This sounds bad, I know. And in terms of school, birthdays, appointments, it’s terrible. But you’re not helpless. It sounds trite, but, get a good goddamn calendar app on your phone and use the hell out of it for appointments and birthdays. And for school? Find those fandoms and use mnemonics. No, seriously.

7. Also on school: You procrastinate the hell out of everything. And I’m not talking normal “haha I’ll do it later!” procrastination. I’m talking serious, problematic, REPEATED “why the fuck can’t I just do it on time like a normal person” procrastination where you start blaming yourself for not doing it sooner like a neurotypical.

Listen, buddy ol’ pal (or however that goes), you’re not neurotypical. But listen- there’s actually a medical reason why you do this.

So everyone’s brains have reward systems, right? Your brain gives you the feel good when you do something you think you should. And later, a brain remembers that it got the feel good for doing the thingy thing.

In a brain with ADHD, that reward system malfunctions. Sometimes critically. Your brain chucks so much stuff it deems “unnecessary” out the window it chucked out that feel good you got when you turned in that homework on time, or cleaned out your car, or did some pilates for 30 minutes.

8. You want to know what doesn’t help with number 7 there? Another thing that won’t show up on symptom lists but that virtually everyone I know with ADHD (quite a few, actually. Turns out we hang out in packs because we’re usually the only people who can understand each other) about ADHD is how daunting large tasks or projects seem to an ADHDer.

So listen, more medical talk here. Remember that EXDYF thing? Yeah, this is part of that.

EXDYF makes it very, very hard (almost impossible, sometimes) to break down large tasks into smaller, more feasible tasks. You get nervous the longer you put off that paper (“this isn’t something you can spit out overnight!”) You’ve been sitting in front of your computer for hours, and the only word you have written down is “The”.

Honestly, I’m not sure why it’s actually super hard to break down large undertakings into smaller tasks for the ADHD brain. But! Solution.

-if you’re having a problem breaking down ANY sort of task, I promise there’s someone else who’s done it online.

Need to write a paper? Use a template. Need to clean out your car? Find a checklist, or have a friend make you one (cause Lord knows I can’t make one on my own). Need to make a presentation? Find a sample one online. Hell, this even works for taxes. (Gasp!)

Do NOT be afraid to ask for help with even personal large undertakings. If your friends are actually your friends, then they’ll relish the chance. Especially when you can turn around and blaze through a quarter of the important project you two (or however many) have due next week in four hours because of hyperfocus.

9. So, your focus. Totally trash, right? That is, until you hyperfocus.

Hyperfocus, to a neurotypical, probably sounds great. Tune out all distractions and get shit done, right?

Sure, Linda, if you can call being able to ignore things like the need to sleep, eat, and use the bathroom “tuning out distractions.” Time becomes a literal illusion. And damn do you pay for it later by your brain not wanting to do anything at all.

On the flip side, this is why ADHD people make fantastic emergency workers like EMTs and firepeople. If you learn what to do with adrenaline when you start feeling it, you feel like you could punch Satan himself when you’re riding an adrenaline+hyperfocus high. Combine that with the fast-paced, unexpected nature of such jobs and and you have a happy ADHD brain because it’s never bored.

10. Because boredom feels like death. No, Cheryl, I’m not being overdramatic. Yes, Becky, I recognize everyone has to deal with boredom.

A neurotypical’s boredom and an ADHDer’s boredom are two very different levels of boredom. Ever heard the phrase “bored to tears”? Now imagine every time you get even a little bored, it’s like this.

And of course, the ADHD hell brain remembers the bad feels of being bored but can’t recall how nice it was to remember all of the answers on a quiz that one time you paid attention in class.This is why I have the worst problems doing homework and housework, or in general anything with serious repetition (exercise, cooking, driving, tidying up etc.). I can do it for maybe 10-15 minutes, and then my brain’s like “k I’m good. Next source of input please?” like, brain, I’m only like 3 feet into washing the kitchen floor. P l s.

11. Speaking of tears. Has rejection by someone you value ever felt like you wanted to quit existing on the spot, or at the very least wanted to move to an ice cave in Greenland and cry for the rest of your life? Even if the rejection was just perceived rejection and your friend was just expressing grumpiness at something else?

Even if your logic says “they didn’t reject you calm down you’re overreacting?”

Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria. It’s a newer term, but honestly, once I found out about my own ADHD and this bitch of a symptom a loooooooot of my weird habits started making a lot of sense in my head.

It doesn’t have to be actual “rejection”. It can get set off from stuff like awkwardness (hence my personal resistance to making Adult Phone Calls) to disbelief (a huge, huge reason so many people go undiagnosed), to personal judgment and/or criticisms (oh, ok… I guess I’ll never mention my love for X ever again) to even just indifference (no one noticed I mopped all the floors in the house… guess I’ll just go die!).

Basically, if you perceive that someone you care about has dismissed you in some fashion, you literally just want to quit existing. On the spot. Because the feeling of it makes you feel sick, your chest gets tight, you can feel it in your hands, and it makes the rest of your day miserable.This variant is more likely with people you care about, but can definitely 100% happen with strangers too.

Another variant is this: if you perceive that someone (whether you care about them or not) has dismissed you in some fashion, your first instinct is to attempt to disregard and discard them completely. It usually doesn’t work like you want it to.

I’m pretty sure this is another reason why ADHD people hang out in packs. We always have a line in our head we’re terrified to cross with our friends. It makes us seem like we’re emotionally unavailable- but in reality we’re just terrified of being dismissed by our friends for showing our true geeky, infodumping, hyperfixating selves.

(Listen. If a friend mocks you for your true self they weren’t your friend in the first place.)

12. But in terms of crossing that line… Social cues? What are social cues?

Normal people can infer a lot from body language. With a lot of ADHD people, we tend not to notice. Or we notice too much and overanalyze. There’s no in between.

On a side note, your best bet for flirting successfully with an ADHDer is to just come out and say it. (Talk like an elcor. “Flirtatiously: I want to hear more.” or whatever innocent phrase it is you’re using to flirt. If they’re into Mass Effect, this will make them laugh, which means bonus points for you in their eyes.)But seriously, unless you’re making obviously romantic overtures we’re usually pretty sure you’re just being nice.

Back on topic: lack of social ability is a massive, massive reason people with ADHD are usually bullied growing up. If there aren’t any other ADHD people around, it usually feels like no one “gets” you. I was bullied horribly enough during junior high and high school to the point where I still have to repress the urge to automatically assume someone being nice to me means they’re plotting something behind my back. (Didn’t help that my hs was basically the Korriban Sith academy without most of the death. Culty, religious, nepotism ran rampant.)

13. Woe betide thee who angers the ADHD. It's not a problem with everyone, but... We’re like volcanoes. Awe-inspiring to watch in action, but God help you if we explode in your direction. And if it’s righteous anger there is almost literally no stopping us.

Anger has its uses. Our problem is that, like a volcano, we always have a lot simmering under the surface. We tend to hold onto it for ridiculous amounts of time until one day, boom. Yeah, I know, Kathy, that happens with everyone. Delayed gratification and all. The difference with ADHDers is that we usually don’t wait.

ADHDers’ anger will come out initially, because we can’t suppress it. We’re impulsive as fuck. We don’t think before we leap (our brains probably wouldn’t let us anyway). And it will seem like we are flying off the handle for no reason whatsoever. But we also have a tendency to unhealthily hold onto it afterwards even once the initial burst has happened. It’s like a (bad!) positive feedback loop.

14. Gotta bounce the leg. Gotta rock. Gotta fidget. Shit, I’m sorry, were you talking?

So one time I made it through 40 minutes of a math class actively suppressing the urge to bounce my leg… and then my leg twitched of its own accord. Freaky as shit, 0/10 recommend.

Sitting still is physically impossible for me, and for a lot of ADHDers. Lack of impulse control + lack of social cue knowledge + lack of ability to decide what’s important to our brains = Fidget fidget. Fidget fidget. Twitch. Fiddle with paper. Hey, my backpack has a fun texture by the zipper. Oh my God, that lady on the TV is wearing the best shade of blue ever! I wonder where she got it. Shit, I need to go shopping. Wait, why did I need to go shopping again?

“Hey I asked you what you got for number 7.”

Fuck.

15. Depressive episodes. For me, these usually happen after a major hyperfocus where I taxed my brain for all it was worth, especially for long periods of time.

If it lasts for a long time or starts seriously affecting your life, get it checked out. If your doctor gives a damn they’ll be happy you came in to get it checked, even if it was the wrong diagnosis, because if it had been then at least they were there to help you. And they’ll always be happy to sit down and figure out what’s wrong. I know they have to watch out for hypochondriacs and whatnot. But if a doctor really cares about helping people they’ll listen when you say something’s wrong, because they know that you’re the one in your skin, not them. Which means if you really think something might be wrong, something probably is.

More evidence: justexecutivedysfunctionthings here on tumblr. Contains people’s experiences with EXDYF, which is a huge red flag for ADHD.

The Wikipedia article on the subject. There’s a nicely organized chart. (Or at least there was when I looked at it.) Remember, you don’t have to identify with all of the symptoms to be ADHD. Even if you only identify with a few, if they’re significant enough that they are seriously impacting your life and existence, it’s worth getting checked out.

I may add more to this later/change some stuff as my memory allows.

[avasilvugh]

So how do Lena and the kids handle things when Kara gets hurt from a fight with an alien or something?

AHAHAHAHAHAHAH WELL

i mean when they’re little, the kids aren’t super duper aware??  and the adults around them keep a p good handle on everything when shit goes down so they usually remain p blissfully ignorant when kara gets hurt

like they get that kara has a sometimes scary job where she has to protect ppl but its like aunt maggie or aunt alex’s jobs and sometimes she walks in the front door moving a little stiffly and sometimes they have to go see her at the deo, sitting under these bright lights that make maia and finn feel a little weird, a little dizzy, a little powerful, and they hurt stella’s eyes (or maybe that’s not why there’s this heavy pounding at the back of her skull?  she’s so little, she doesn’t have words for it) but it doesn’t rlly.....idk sink in??

that said: lena is quietly a Wreck.  bc the kiddos respond to how she responds, she can’t rlly fall apart (not that she ever rlly did??  but she was able to cry abt it and drop everything to rush to the deo and fuss over kara) so she gets v quiet abt it, all hurried crying with the sink running, bathroom door locked.  she gets v good at hiding the evidence that anything is wrong 

one time, when finn is abt six or so and maia is four and stella isnt quite a year old, kara gets Hurt.  like big time, holy shit, lena we’re doing everything we can for her hurt.  and lena’s stretched so thin already bc kara’s been gone a lot in the week leading up to this, trying to catch this trio of aliens (one rozz escapee, two that got caught up in his schemes) bc they made a direct threat to that pretty luthor you seem so interested in, isn’t she married supergirl? so she just—she can’t imagine not being with kara at the deo but she can’t make their three little kids spend the night in uncomfortable chairs either and she’s exhausted and terrified bc for the first time in a long time she’s not like one hundred percent sure kara’s going to be okay??  and she can’t do this alone, she can’t raise their children on her own, this was always a partnership and she can barely keep them all on schedule for a week how on earth can she do that for the rest of their lives?

and god bless the superfriends, they all step the fuck up.  they’re all sick with worry, obviously, but these kids are still pretty sheltered, still dont have any idea of what their mother does, who she is, what she risks to protect them every day, and everyone pulls it together a little, just enough to take shifts with the kiddos.  

maggie takes mornings, gets finn and maia up and off to school, makes sure they have packed lunches and healthy breakfasts and sends lena little text updates, a picture every morning of the kiddos grinning in their carseats

james covers afternoons—winn picks the kiddos up and drops them at catco and listen, they love their uncle james to no end and he comes up with a million and one games for them to play.  cat usually emerges from her office at some point bearing sweets and the offer of cartoons on one of the many tvs on her wall

lucy flies in on the weekend and hosts a sleepover at her apartment in the city, promises that she’ll make sure they eat their fruits and veggies and then immediately gives them just about as much sugar as they can ask for.  they watch the incredibles and finding nemo and the aristocats (abt 37 times, lucy counted)

eliza stays at the house, helps take care of stella when lena needs to sleep.  she and alex understand The Most, and they stay the closest; eliza cooks meals and moms the hell out of lena and alex sits right next to her at the deo, squeezes her hand whenever she starts to cry and cries along with her

its not good and its not easy and those six days are the Longest of lena’s life but the kids dont even remember them rlly, just a hazy sort of fog of hanging out with their cool aunts and uncles and finn’s the only one that kind of remembers??  but he only rlly remembers kara coming home and them eating a lot of potstickers

UNDER THE CUT BC I KEEP CRYING UR WELCOME

it’s a completely different story when they’re older.  i would say the first Big Scary Moment comes when finn’s ~10, maia’s around eight, and stella’s just turned five.  stella only rlly remembers it bc emotion sort of sharpens all of her memories???  and there were a fuck ton of emotions happening

stella’s at a sleepover and maia’s at a girl scout overnighter and finn’s at a sleepover too (nice attempt at date night kara and lena, too bad evil waits for no happily married couple’s first night alone in months) and kara has to leave bc there’s something happening uptown and lena’s happy, a little warm from the wine and says something like hurry back and she turns on the news, bc she always does when supergirl has to save the day and it’s around six, so it’s the regular evening news and its on in just about every home in national city and the counselors at maia’s camp are watching just to kill time

so everyone gets to watch in hd as supergirl gets shot out of the sky in a hail of kryptonite bullets

stella’s hysterical, so’s maia (no one ever said the kids were any better at secret keeping than kara), finn’s the only one that rlly keeps it together long enough to fake a stomach ache and ask to call his mom to come get him.  lena’s numb, rlly, has to focus on keeping her voice steady when she’s got maia and stella on speaker, assuring them both that she’s on her way to get them, she’s just picked up finn

alex’s already had one of the break rooms near medical set up with cots and lena nearly cries then and there in relief, because she sure as shit isnt leaving the deo without kara and she sure as shit isnt calling a babysitter for her hysterical children, not when stella’s hanging onto her and maia’s tucked up against her side and finn, oh god finn’s trying so hard to keep it together, keeps looking at his sisters, keeps looking at lena and setting his jaw and he’s so much like kara it hurts for lena to see

kara’s in surgery for a long time, long enough that the kids eventually pass out.  they have separate cots, but finn asks lena to help him shove them all together and it makes a surface big enough for the kiddos to curl up together, stella sandwiched between her big siblings, finn’s longer arms just barely reaching over maia’s shoulder, keeping them all together and lena can’t sleep so she pulls up her cot as well and watches her children sleep, watches them draw their breath in sync, as a unit, and she’s not sure how long it is, but then alex is stepping in, exhausted, and she just nods at lena and it’s enough

stella must sense the mood shift bc she’s awake first, squirming to get free of the dog pile theyre in and waking her sibling in the process and then they’re all looking at lena, wide eyed, and it’s maia, the boldest of the three, that asks when can we see mama?

alex answers that she’s resting, that she needs to rest a little longer, but if they’re very quiet and very careful they can go in and see her right now and lena’s not sure if she’s ever seen her children so entirely subdued, but they shuffle into kara’s room very quietly and very carefully, lena just behind them and kara just barely blinks, just barely smiles at them before it all changes again, before stella’s whispering something in finn’s ear and finn’s nodding and asking alex if they can kiss kara and kara’s eyes are shining and lena’s very nearly openly crying

kara kind of cuts alex off with a hoarse c’mere kiddos, i feel like i haven’t seen you in a week and then finn’s wrapping his arms around stella’s middle and he and maia are bouncing off the ground lightly, floating over to kara’s side and their kisses are kind of messy, a little snotty probably, considering how much crying they’ve been doing, but it’s okay, it’s so much better bc kara’s laughing and smiling and sharing a look with lena when stella insists on putting bandaids on her bc you’ve got a lot of booboos mama

it changes as they get even older, obviously, as they get a better understanding of why their mom is getting hurt, and maia gets very angry with kara for a while bc she gets wanting to protect ppl, she gets being a hero, but what, are you just going to leave us?  

one time kara gets p hurt and maia storms out of the room when the family gathers around her and she wont talk to lena, wont talk to alex, and its against several warnings not to that kara gets out from under the sun lamps and goes after her.  it’s not an easy conversation, not by any means and maia’s angry at a a lot of things and kara’s only one of them, but she gets the brunt of it, gets the why don’t you ever think about us?  and the broken i don’t want you to die that comes after a fair amount of yelling and crying

kara doesn’t have a lot of answers that will satisfy maia, she knows, bc maia’s young still and hasn’t had much reason to see the good in people, doesnt have the same idealistic world view like finn, like kara, but what she lacks in solid answers, she makes up for in a hug that clocks in around twelve minutes at least and it’s not the end of the discussion, but its the end for now bc then maia’s remember that holy shit, my mom just got thrown through a building and is ushering kara back to the sun bed

finn’s so gentle, his heart just breaks every time kara gets hurt.  he cries for days in college once bc kara blows her powers in the middle of a fight and just keeps going bc back up wasnt coming and there were civilian lives at stake and he wanted to fly home to help, he wanted to, he wanted to so badly, but he couldnt, he was rooted in place watching the fight on the tv in the lounge, too afraid of the power he had to move

he feels a lot of guilt for that for a very long time, even after stella intervenes (she doesnt v often, only when she thinks it’s necessary) and kara talks to him, assures him there’s nothing for him to feel guilty for.  it takes years, rlly, for him to ever really forgive himself for not helping her, for not stepping in

mostly tho he steps in and fills the gap while kara’s down, takes maia to the demo room when her hands start shaking with rage, holds stella’s punching bag, stops by lena’s office when he’s on his way home from school to drop off a sandwich or salad or something just to make sure she eats.  bless him, he rarely confronts his own feelings about his mother’s second job, the risks she takes.  he can’t, you know?  they’re hard, difficult to handle, difficult to reign in, so he avoids thinking about it too hard until he’s forced it, then my sweet son just breaks down at the oddest moments, like in line at the grocery store or folding laundry or playing video games with his best friend.  just fucking sobs—its usually weeks after kara’s been hurt, and kara’s learned to be on the look out for him around this time, learned to keep half her attention searching the city for her son crying and when she hears it she just drops whatever she’s doing and goes to collect him.  they usually go get ice cream or maybe pizza, or sometimes take a walk along the pier.  sometimes kara will ask finn to teach her how to play whatever game he’s rlly into and she will act like she absolutely has no idea how to play it at first (even though she totally plays them)

and stella !!  stella, little stella always feels it the hardest, always takes her pain and grief and anger and fear and multiplies it, carries the weight of her family with her everywhere she goes.  even if she’s not watching kara fight off whatever evil is lurking in national city, she knows when it’s gone wrong bc lena always watches and the two ppl stella can feel the easiest, strongest, loudest are kara and lena.  she always feels it first

and then it’s agonizing hours of pain, wave after wave of horror and fear and it gets worse the more time she spends around her family—its always the worst from alex and lena, she gets flashes of what happened from alex, gets blood and the crack of bone, the echo of kara getting slammed into a wall or a truck or the pavement.  she gets these bits and pieces of horrible what ifs from lena, gets black suits and questions about kryptonian funerals.  it’s awful.  she doesnt want to be alone when its like this, but stella can hardly stand being around other people, like her own shit is hard enough to deal with, she doesnt need this too

she toughs it out every time tho, bc she’d rather live through it with them all, rather be right there when her mom wakes up than to be somewhere else.  her peace of mind isnt worth that much

eventually it spills over bc it has to, stella cant swallow these feelings forever.  it’s a few days after the latest scare and stella’s the only kid still at home, the only one that didn’t have to get back to school, so she’s spending the rest of her spring break on the couch with her mom while she recovers, while she recharges.  it’s fine one second, then kara gets up to get more popcorn or something and stubs her toe and since she’s still powerless, she actually winces and then stella’s thinking about it, thinking about how close they all came to losing her again and the thoughts and emotions sort of push their way into kara’s mind and stella knows the moment they do bc then kara’s stopped and is giving her this terrible, soft look

by this point, kara knows stella’s patterns like the back of her hand, knows that she wont talk about it until she’s ready, but that she’ll be ready a lot sooner now that kara knows what’s going on.  so she doesn’t say anything, just gets more popcorn and makes stella some tea while she’s up.  when she comes back to the couch, she pulls her daughter into a tight hug bc the sensory thing—that usually helps when she gets overwhelmed like this, too

i’m sorry you’re carrying this, kara tells her.  i’m sorry i can’t help.

stella nods.  i know

its almost enough to know that her mother would carry it if she could

[flyingangelofblueislands]

On Holiday - part 1

Bias: (S.Coups - Seventeen) Choi Seungcheol X reader

Genre: Fluff

You gripped your phone with both hands as you placed your boyfriend on speaker and paused your packing. “How much did you pack, really?” Your eyes quickly scanned your small suitcase that was currently overflowing with six more outfits than necessary, because, options. Not to mention shoes for any surprise occasion, your makeup bag, hair products, night gowns and new underwear you bought especially for this mini trip. “Not much…” “Babe…” his laugh tickled your insides and you could just see him throwing his head back and smiling, “Don’t pack so much stuff!” he whined. “it’s only for three days, you know.” “I know but, you won’t tell me where we’re going and I can’t be sure of what I need.” you kneeled by your suitcase and fiddled through your things not being able to think of what exactly you could part with. You signed again, “can’t you give me a hint?” “Don’t wanna. what fun is that?” “Oh! SeungCheol, seriously!” You couldn’t help but laugh with him. He was so pleased with himself. “You should get some sleep.” “Okay. goodnight-see you tomorrow?” “Yes you will, beautiful. Dream about me.” Your body flushed with embarrassment at the statement but you loved it. You hung up and closed your eyes tightly, abandoning your packaging until the morning because you wanted the next day to come faster.

6:00am and your alarm jolted you out of a surprisingly deep sleep and for a minute you were annoyed and didn’t want to get out of bed. however, you quickly remembered that your boyfriend would be picking you up in an hour so you could go on your first overnight trip together in the three years you’d been together. Things had gotten difficult once he debuted and when you started college. But between your busy schedules you couldn’t spend as much time together as before. As happy as you were for each other for working hard for your individual dreams, your dream of being happy together has started to seem like it was slipping away.

That’s when Seungcheol took the initiative to match your schedules up and meticulously plan this overnight trip. You jumped up and down in the shower, not in an attempt to wake up, but in an attempt to tire yourself out before he arrived so you didn’t look as desperately excited as you felt. But an hour later when he called and said he was standing at the entrance door of your dorm waiting for you to come outside-you were no less hyper than before. You sat on your luggage until you could zip it closed and lugged it with all your might down to the front entrance of the dorm. On seeing him, you almost dropped your bag and catapulted into his arms. He was standing with both hands in his blue wool coat, hair combed down with a red baseball cap on it. He had a black pullover on underneath the coat, some dark blue denim and red, white, and black Jordans on his feet. His face bare of any makeup, just skin lotion, but still glowing and smooth. You couldn’t believe how handsome he looked so early. You caught his eyes wandering the building most likely looking to see if he could peek into your window and see what was taking you so long to come out, not knowing you were already downstairs watching him from the interior corridor. You caught him bouncing up and down trying to keep warm and you held back a squeal. You couldn’t take it anymore. You weren’t calming down so you decided to just show him how much you missed him and see what would happen. You were a bit hesitant, since it had been so long since you met up. You didn’t want to seem too clingy or needy. Throwing caution to the wind, you took quick steps out to where he was standing. Before you could open your mouth to say good morning, Seungcheol rushed towards you and gripped you up in a bear hug. You let go of your bag and wrapped your hands around his neck as he lifted you into the air a bit. His smile was ear to ear as he half spoke, half whined, “I missed you baby girl!” Your cheeks could’ve reached your forehead as hard as it made you smile. Seungcheol released you and grabbed your bag. “It’s heavy, Cheolie~I can carry it to the car.” “No way. If you’re busy carrying the bag, then I wont be able to hold your hand.” He immediately linked fingers with you and raised your tightly clasped hands to his lips. Kissing the back of your hand as you laughed. “Oh my gosh, seriously?” You retorted, but didn’t let go of his hand the whole time you walked back to his car in the nearby parking lot. “I don’t want to be apart in anyway for even a minute while we’re on this trip. I’m serious. You’re going get sick of me.” he beamed at you and bit his bottom lip. You could see his face flush with a mix of the cold air and a rush of happiness.

When you finally reached the car while chattering away, he begins putting your bag in the trunk all while not letting go of your hand. You laughed as he struggle a bit off balance. “Just let go for a second until you get the bags in and we get in the car.!” You laughed harder as he vehemently shook his head no. You pry-ed your fingers from his and skittered away as you caught his serious gaze. His mouth parted in a small ‘o’ to finish his dramatics. “Don’t ask to hold my hands after this!” He mumbled playfully as he finished stuffing your luggage in. You laughed again as you bounced behind him freely, teasing him with faces he couldn’t see. He struggles with your carrier some more. “Geez, baby, what did you pick in here?” You snuck up behind his bent over back and hugged him from behind, laying your head against his back, “My love.” You felt him chuckle being thoroughly caught off guard by your response. He swiftly finished shoving your carrier and extra bag that was on your bag into place and turned around to embrace you. “You’re saying you packed your love for me in there?” He gently pokes your nose. You scrunched your face up and nodded in agreement. He shook his head and sighed, looking off into the distance. “That’s a shame. its such a small bag too. My love can’t fit in any luggages made on earth.” He peeked at you as you smiled and rolled your eyes. “You always have to one-up me!” You moved from his grasp and went around to your side of the car as he followed to reach around you and open the door. He paused at your ear and whispered, “Because I love you more.” Before kissing you on the cheek and motioning for you to get in the passenger’s seat. Your insides twisted in delight and you slipped into the car. He closed your door and walked around the car, casually double checking the condition of the tires before he got in.

He started the car and you tried to not stare at his neck and profile as he turned to look out the back window before effortlessly reversing and then driving off. After pulling into the main road, he put his right hand in between your bodies and wiggled it. You looked down at it, then up at his slightly puffed up, smiling cheeks. When you didn’t react, he went for an approach that oozed his charismatic side. He sighed, lightly pushing his head up while keeping his eyes on the road and pretended to be nonchalant before finally saying something, “What did I say about this trip?” You bit back your own smile. “That you didn’t wanna be apart for a minute.” “So why is my hand missing its other half?” You cracked up laughing as you watched him struggle to keep his tough demeanor with you. You calmed down and slipped your fingers in between his and placed your interlaced hands in your lap. ******************************

hey y'all! how you been?? if you have been less than well-given the way life goes-I hope this made you smile!!! I’m serious. life can be such a dark place, but this is a safe space! a place for laying down your worries and escaping for a little bit one fluff fic at a time and i intend to be updating more okay??? okay!

I love you all! stay cute! stay sweet! stay fluffy!

love, peace, and quick fluff reads!

~admin Fluffintine