#you'll probably recognise her

[konigsblog]

who’s pick me pearl??? 😭😭 at first i thought the anonymous was referring to pearl from the movie pearl

this is pick me pearl ↓↓ she says things like, ‘women shouldn't be equal to men’ and ‘abortion should be illegal’ (and refuses to acknowledge young rape victims getting impregnated by their rapist because "that's less than 1% of cases!")

just a lot of anti-feminism bullshit. she's right-wing, fs. i'll list a couple things she's said below:

“16 year old chicks are hotter than 26 year old chicks” she has said before. (wtf 😬)

says that cheating isn't a big deal.

if your husband gives you an STD, then you should stay with him.

she downplays domestic abuse.

says that marriage isn't supposed to be equal.

says that you're only hot in your 20s, and said that you're not wanted in your 30s. (she's 27, and hasn't ever been in a serious relationship before, or at least to my knowledge. clock's ticking, babe).

[obsessedwrhys]

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ The Boys x Rogue!Reader (2)

ᯓ★ angst, fluff, typical the boys content, Butcher is an asshole?!?! (what a surprise) 😲. Reader is fem!! Here's part 1 if you missed it. (Didn't proof read because im sick again 🤒)

Sounds of muffled talking... needles poking through your skin... your mind fogged from the effects of the drugs... the heavy feeling of helplessness as you were tied down. Nothing you could do. You were hopeless. You didn't stand a chance.... Slowly you squint your eyes open as the vision of your friend's corpse comes to view. The horrifying sight jerking your body awake.

"Oh...oh..." You breath heavily with your body covered in cold sweat. The adrenaline coursing through your veins. You looked around to make sure you weren't inside your cage, but rather inside the room your brother had given to you.

When you were sure you were safe, you let out a relieved sigh as you rub your eyes, giving yourself a moment to settle down. Something tells you this won't be the last nightmare you'll have. Once you were sure you were in a stable condition, you got out of bed and decided to head downstairs to what seemed to be their office.

After last night when you were taken to their headquarters, Butcher offered you some clothes to change into and also making sure you were well fed. From how exhausted you were at the time, you could only remember talking about something to Butcher before passing out on his bed.

As you descend from the stairs, you couldn't help but peek your head to look at who were present. Even though they were told to be his friends. You yourself weren't that 100% willing to trust a bunch of strangers just because he said they were 'not the worst people he's met'. To your surprise it was just three people inside and they were each doing their things.

Butcher wasn't anywhere in sight.

This sucks.

Since you aren't planning to stand and wait at the stairway, you entered the office, it only took a few steps for your presence to be noticed. You sat on the sofa just a few feet from the girl who appeared to be busy writing in her book. She shoots you a warm smile which you hesitantly smiled back.

"I'm (Y/N)... what's your name?" You asked but she suddenly shifts her eyes from you to someone else. Curious, you looked over the sofa to see someone already approaching you.

"Her name's Kimiko..." He said as he takes a seat beside you.

"You still remember my name yes? I was the one who snuck you out" You thought for a second before finally recognising him.

"Frenchie right?" You asked and judging from the smile on his face. You must be right.

"I didn't get to say but thanks for rescuing me" You said to which he laughs.

"Ahh...! Don't thank me! Your brother would have skinned me alive if I refused. If you had seen his outrage when he found out Homelander had you involved, you'd think twice before pissing him off by saying no" He recalled, emphasising everything he says through his hand gestures and facial expressions.

"He does have a temper..." You uttered.

Just then the door opens and all four of you turned to see Butcher walking in with another guy. You got to your feet and went over to your brother who after taking off his coat, hands you the takeaway he had bought.

"Here ya go sis. I figured durin' your days as a lab rat you probably ate like one" He said as you realise he had bought you your favourite food.

The simple gesture somehow making you feel like a kid again. The simpler times where you felt stress free. Just sleep and eat. Though you didn't dwell too much into the feeling as the feeling of hunger soon made you quickly sit down and started eating. Butcher eyes you for a second before walking off to talk to his friend about something that you could care less about.

Mm... good food...

You were too focused gobbling down the food in front of you that you failed to notice the guy sitting on the chair before you. He watches you consciously as you ate like you never eaten in ages. It was when you began to choke that he panicked and quickly pushed the cup of water towards you. His hands retreating back to his lap to avoid any contact with your skin.

As you gulp down the water and finally waited for the burn in your chest to vanish was when you realised you had been eating like a wolf. Months of being locked up by Homelander felt like a physiological torture that you seemed to have lost all your self control. You really lost touch with humanity. It makes you hate him even more for what he did.

"Hey um... you holding up alright? We haven't properly met. I'm Hughie" He said once he sees you zoning out. You look at him with your brows slightly raised.

His voice was somehow soothing. Like the feeling of a fever dream.

"I'm (Y/N)"

"I know" He smiles slightly at you, almost like he's fascinated by your presence.

"So you're his sister. I didn't even think he had any family. He was always private about his life"

"So am I. I guess it runs in the family..."

Your harmless joke making him chuckle softly. As you go back to eating in a more slower pace, he couldn't help but watch your every movement. It was like watching a kid eating for the first time. When they had saved you, you were almost all bones. Your hands are trembling even now just from holding the spoon.

Just even thinking of that night, what still intrigued him was even after those months of torture you still had the energy to argue with your brother. It was there where he finally understood how you were both related. You were just as much as a fighter as your brother is.

"Ahh motherfucker" You cursed as you fan at the fly to get away from your food though the second it touches your skin, it instantly drops dead on the table.

The two of you stared at it as it twitches slightly before going limp.

Problem... solved?

"I assume that you did that on demand?"

"I... think so?"

Just when you thought things were ever gonna be back to normal, your powers always had to remind you of the true reality. The reality that you are NOT normal. Since you were curious of your new abilities, you reached out and touched the flower pot just placed in the center of the table.

Just one touch of your finger on the leaves. The plant slowly devolves from a lively colour to a rotting brown. The flower withers as the stem grows weak. Due to the lack of stability, it collapses completely. Somehow the sight of the dead plant made your throat dry. Images of your friend's corpse flashing in your mind.

Hughie took notice of your dilated eyes and decided to take the plant off the table, placing it carefully on the ground to make sure it's out of your sight. You could only take long breaths as you tried to get rid of the terrible image. Gosh... you can't even imagine how her family is dealing with this... or if they even know she's... sigh..

"Oi!" The sound of Butcher's call causing you two to look at him. When he waves at you to head over to him, you shoot Hughie an apologetic look as you got up to see what he's calling you for.

"You know you don't have to call me over like a dog, I have a name"

"Oh really? Your character hardly screams 'man's best friend', especially with that pissy look" He teases you with a slight smirk which you simply ignored.

"What is it?"

He stares at you, taking note of your expressionless face before nodding to himself. His whole demeanour becoming serious within seconds.

"It's about your powers" He said, his words catching your full focus in an instant.

"From what we've known... the only possibility for a non-supe person to have powers is to dose themselves with a modified version of compound v. But that's only temporary, and yours... are permanent" Butcher said, his eyes avoiding yours.

"Whatever they did to you, we're gonna figure it out... so, while I do that, M.M will be supervisin' you, won't ya M?" Butcher said, looking over his friend who's hunched over his table and writing something down.

"Well if it ain't me then who else is gonna"

"I can!" Frenchie spoke up, his forwardness catching everyone's attention. Once he realises the looks he was getting, he awkwardly smiles.

"You know, for research" He adds. You sigh as you close your eyes, turning your head to face your brother.

What are you getting yourself into at this point...

"Nothing you say quite makes sense to me. The fuck is a compound v??"

"It's what gives the supes their powers"

"What??" You narrow your brows.

"You're saying they weren't gifted?? Like, God didn't bless them and made them our saviours?? They're just a bunch of normal people high off of superpower drugs??" He grins widely at your conclusion.

"Congratulations sis, you're finally catchin' up" He said, giving you a pat on the back before walking away. You stand there, still a bit confused before going after him.

"Waitwaitwait, where are you going? You just got back a few minutes ago" You asked as he puts on his coat.

"I'm going to meet someone. Hopefully they can help me with your situation, or at least provide some insight on what Homelander did to you"

Homelander.

Just the mention of his name being said by someone made your blood boil.

You wanted to tear him apart.

"Alright... but don't take too long... okay?" You look at him, almost like you were trying to beg him to stay with your eyes. You could tell it was working when you saw how his face started to relax a bit.

"Yeah..." He reaches for your head but stops midway when he realises he can't.

The sad reality of wanting to hold his own sister could cost him his own life was completely breaking him.

All the more reason to meet up with this contact to figure out a solution.

He doesn't say anything after letting his hand fall to his side. You could only stand there and watch him leave. Somehow, some part inside of you was fearful of the speech Homelander gave you was becoming true. That his goal of striking fear in Butcher by using you was slowly working.

"Hey, (Y/N). I'm gonna need you to come here" M.M said. You didn't say anything but sat on the chair he instructed you to sit on. You watch as he scribbles something on his book before eventually turning to face you.

"Alright so I wrote down some theories and I need you to work with me" He said, his instructions pretty clear. Your eyes however couldn't help but peek at what he had written down.

Does it only work when it's in contact with skin?

Is it like poision? Or does it disintegrate everything it touches?

Can it be controlled?

If it's dangerous then how dangerous can it be?

"Here, put these on" He then handed you a pair of leather gloves.

You took it and did just as he said. You couldn't help but clench your hands a couple of times to adgust to the fabric of the gloves. Somehow you felt hopeful of this plan. Just then you see him pick up a small plant and placing it on the table in front of you. He nods his head towards it, telling you to touch it.

Though you hesitated... before finally obliging.

You let your fingertips touch the leaves just as you did only a few minutes ago to the other plant. To your surprise, it didn't change colour nor grow weak. It was perfectly fine. This discovery caused you to be overjoyed to the fact you were struggling to form words. M.M simply nodded as he wrote something in his book.

"Holy shit it worked" You exclaimed and couldn't help but stare down at your gloved hands.

"Guess the only thing that can stop you from hurting someone is those gloves..." He turns to face you once again. The smile on your face slightly drops at the mention of hurting someone.

"Guess so..." You uttered, a wave of sadness washing over the joy you were experiencing just now. This will have to be the new normal now...

"Hey, at least it's better than nothing" He said, giving you a comforting pat on the arm. You look at him with a grateful smile, acknowledging his optimistic view of the outcome.

For the next few days you were able to conduct several experiments with the boys. Ranging from testing out your strength to trying to read minds. There were definitely some very odd ideas they've come up with but neither of them wanted to leave out anything so they had to think of all the possibilities of what you could do. Although you were still uneasy about this new change, you felt reassured after knowing more about your powers. In a way you like to think that you had more control over yourself.

It was now Sunday, you were in their office resting on the sofa. Compared to your first day here, you could tell by your own body language that you were beginning to grow comfortable around the group. As you watched whatever was on the TV, you overheard a conversation going on between Butcher and M.M nearby. However judging by their tone it seemed to be about something serious.

"Seriously Butcher? You want to get him involved?" M.M said, displeased with something.

"Nobody knows this better than he does and I'm runnin' out of options"

"Options or patience Butcher, do you have any idea what he's done? If you ever so blink, he will put a bullet right between your eyes"

"Well then, you can rest assure that I'll keep my eyes wide open for any bullets" Butcher's stubbornness earning an annoyed grunt out of M.M.

"Relax mate... I've got this. When have I ever let you and the others down, huh?" He said, placing his hand on his shoulder.

"You actually want me to answer that?"

Without saying another word, Butcher simply walked away and you, who've been secretly hearing their conversation couldn't help but take a peek of your brother. Once you see him heading to the other part of the room far from the rest, you decided to get up and approach him.

"Are you having a fun time staring at the wall?" You said, pointing out how he has his arms folded as his hand is stroking his chin. His brows perked at your words.

"You're talkin' about me?" He scoffs.

"Honestly it's better than starin at your face... what do you want?" He looks at you, a playful look on his face.

"What were you talking about with M.M just now? Sounds like it was tough"

"Oh it's nothin', he's just being dodgy about the guy I strucked a deal with"

"If I heard it right, he also said he's slick enough to put a bullet through your head" You lift your gloved hand up to point at his forehead which he simply brush your hand away from his face.

"I've got my share of bullet wounds, I'll survive"

"Not through the skull though"

"How ironic, you've always did call me hard-headed sis" Just as he said that, he started to walk off like he always does when he feels himself being lectured by you, or anyone. That's why you stood in his way when he was just a few feet from the door.

"Where are you going?"

"What makes you think I'd tell you?"

"Okay, fine, don't tell me, just take me with you" He stares at you, unsure of what you were trying to do.

"No way in hell am I bringing you outside"

"If that's your concern then I can wear a disguise. Nobody will know it's me"

"Nobody is not my concern, my concern is you. What if you accidentally let a bit of your skin show and you, oh I don't know, turn a pedestrian into a fucking mummified corpse"

"What the fuck are you crying about? I can wear layers! C'mon, anything to get out of this cooped up place for once"

"You're complaining about this being cooped up? Tell me, would you rather spend a year here or that lab?"

"Hey fuck you! That is not what I meant! I just wanted to go outside!"

"Alright alright! Would you two quit it before you tear my ears off" M.M said, having to be the one to end the bickering.

"I was just about to leave anyways" Butcher didn't even look you in the eye and walked past you. His attitude was making you angrier than ever.

You just wanted to shout and throw things around. This is just like your argument with him regarding his path of going down a life of committing crimes against supes. He always never chooses to take you seriously. Yet even after years where you'd think the consequences of his actions would shape his character a bit, it sure as hell didn't, instead it just gave him a sloppy kiss on the face. You went upstairs into your bedroom and just as you open the door, you found Hughie inside. Awkward, he quickly stands from where he was crouching.

"What are you doing in my room?"

"Oh uh sorry I was looking for the tools Frenchie asked for, he said it was in Butcher's room... which... is... your room now..." He clears his throat as he avoids your gaze.

"Is it the yellow box with the 'Do not touch' note on it?"

"Y-Yeah how do you—?" Without even letting him finish, you were already heading over to your bed to get it out from underneath it. You hand it to him and he takes it with a surprised look. The heavy weight causing his body to drop a bit but he quickly recovers from it.

"I guess I'll go... thanks" He said but you had your back turned to him as you went to sit down on your bed, clearly indicating you weren't in the best mood. He walks to the door, though he doesn't leave. After hesitating, he turns around to face your back once again.

"You okay?" He calls out. His question leaving you feeling even more conflicted.

"Just Butcher" You replied.

Oh.

Somehow that simple answer clears it up. He may not have worked with him the longest but he's worked long enough to know that the man can be such a pain in the ass. Pretty much a day with the man is enough to get a clear picture of his personality. What didn't make it any better was the difference in their beliefs about the supes.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" Hughie asks. You stared down at your hands that are scratching at your nails. You do wanna talk about it but you're not sure anyone would listen to you, like actually understand how you felt.

"Are you gonna judge me?" You asked.

"Judge you? Why would I do that?"

"Well... would you be concern if I told you I'm debating whether or not if I should punch him the next time I see him?" You looked at him, searching for his reaction.

"... would it make you feel better if I told you I once had?" He said and the image of someone like Hughie punching Butcher made you chuckle a bit to yourself.

"I find that very hard to believe... but did it at least feel good?" You look at him and you could see him slowly inviting himself into the room as the conversation continued on.

"It did. For a while..." Soon he sat himself beside you on the bed.

"I don’t wanna seem like I'm intruding but why is it that you guys are always at each other's throats... I mean, he really seems to care about you so shouldn't you two get along well?"

"Psssh... he doesn't care about me"

"Errr, if he didn't he wouldn't have gone out of his way to save you from Homelander. He even sent me to spy on you when you were at work once. It was kinda—"

"Huh?" You interrupt him and your reaction had him hold his tongue.

"Spy on me? When was that?" He stares at you, batting his lashes at you blankly a few times.

"Uh I thought Butcher told you... I was the customer who asked to go to the restroom. Remember? The one with the jacket on?" He said but you were having a hard time recalling the exact memory. Your mind still a bit fuzzy from everything that happened before the kidnapping.

"I don't know... but I can't believe he would do that. Spying on me?" You said and once again the anger that was slowly dying down was now going back up.

"He was worried about you"

"If he was worried about me then he would talk to me face to face, not send one of his friends while he hid away like a coward"

"Maybe he was trying to find the right time?" You suddenly turn your head to look at him.

"Why are you making so much excuses for him??" You called him out since you figured from some of the things he told you, he probably hated him just as much as you did.

"I don't know... maybe it was that night when you guys hugged that... kinda changed my mind about him a bit... it's hard to explain but a different side of him showed. After you went to sleep, he stayed up the entire night in the office figuring out how to help you. I did try to get him to sleep but he just started cursing at me to fuck off" He said, recalling the night.

Just thinking of your brother going through computers and documents trying to find the reason behind your manifestation of powers made your heart melt a bit. You can only imagine the hours of sleep he missed, not that he even gets enough sleep but all that hours he could be using to rest and instead using it to solve your issue was nice yet sad to know. Too bad it lead him to doing business with some shady person you don't even know about. All because he wanted to help you.

"So I'm pretty sure that yeah, he does cares about you..." You stare at him, somehow amused at his way of talking things out with you.

"You really went all out trying to prove a point huh?" You said to which he laughed.

"Force of habit maybe? Anyways, I better go, Frenchie needs his tools and you look like you need some rest" He got up and began heading towards the door again but before leaving, he stops to look at you.

"Hopefully you guys work it out. He's been through a lot and I think having his family close by might keep him... human" He added. You take his words into consideration as he finally goes.

....

"Why'd you let that happen to me?" She yelled through her tears, grabbing at your shoulders as if she needed support from her limping body.

......

"You dragged me into this mess!!" Her nails were so sharp you felt like it was digging through your skin.

.............

"You killed me!! You were my friend!! You fucking bitch!!!" You couldn't breath. You felt like you were floating in an endless void.

...................

"Rot with me" She uttered. You scream as thousands of hands began grabbing at every corner of your body. The countless amount of nails on your skin sent shivers down your body. You try to scream for help but its as though your voice was stuck in your throat as no sound comes out.

........................

"NO!! STOP!!" You shout as you awake on your bed. Your screams were loud enough that it caused the door to swing open.

Your brother quickly sat himself on the bed, being careful to wrap you in the blanket before holding you close in his arms. Though your mind was too focused on the nightmare to even know who it was that was holding you. Her whisper like voice, her skeleton face, and fuck... the feeling of the thousand of nails poking your skin haunted you even more. It was so real.

"Sis... hey...! You're safe. You're here with me. No one's goin' to hurt you" He said, his voice being the thing to bring you back to the present. Your breathing somehow steadies after scanning the room to double take.

You really are safe.

"Shit.. sorry..." You could only say as your brother rubs his hand behind your back. The sight of your pale face grew concern.

"You wanna talk about what's got you screamin' in your sleep?" He asks and you let out a half embarrassed sigh. Hopefully you weren't that loud.

"I don't think I'm ready for that..." You said since what you wanted to do now was forget it.

"Aight..." He nods and continues on rubbing your back to provide some comfort. He's not big with words so this is the most he can do...

The room remained silent while you enjoyed the peace you got from his presence. When you felt yourself finally able to think rationally, you can't help but think of what Hughie told you. Working things out... To be clear, talking about your feelings with your family, let alone your sibling ain't easy as it seemed. But seeing the things you and him have gone through, that seems like the best option right now.

"Can I ask you something?" You look up at him and he looks down at you, you could tell he was worried about what you might say, yet he nods.

"Go ahead"

"... what happened after I left... like how did it lead to this? To... how you are now...?" You asked and it caused him to look away with a defeated grunt. As though he saw the question coming from a mile away.

"Theres not much to say... I fought... and I did what I had to do to survive... I wish I could tell you I was a good person for it but... I'd be lying, you wouldn't look at me now if I told you half the things I've done" He answers with his hand placed on your arm. You frown.

"It feels as though you're treating me that way already. You're my brother but sometimes you treat me like I'm just a package to you. That's what your job is about right? Whatever this job is..."

"That's not true sis..."

"Then why does your face tell another story?" You said and your words made him furrowed his brows even more. He stares at you, as if he's considering something in his mind.

"... you won't understand it"

"What don't I understand? We're family right? Blood is thicker than water. That sort of bullshit. We've been through hell together as kids. Having to take abuse from our shitty parents... then losing Lenny..." The mention of his deceased brother pained him even more that he was struggling to maintain eye contact at this point.

"Don't push me away... not again..." You pleaded while placing your other hand on top of his arm. He stayed quiet... almost too long that you were beginning to think he was gonna choose the quiet route out of the conversation until he finally opened his mouth to speak.

"How do I even start... I was furious when I found out Homelander got you involved in our fued.. but then through that rage, I also thought... what if I never went on pissing off a bunch of supes for my selfish reasons? It could have prevented how it led to this. To how he found you" Butcher began to say and you could just hear the guilt in his voice as he began confessing to you about his feelings.

"I regret some choices and some not so much... sometimes I wonder if I should've listen to you and visited that therapist you suggested. I still have the card in my wallet... but I also thought the road was too blurry to head back. I've already got too much blood on my hands, enough to fill a whole sea..." He pauses, then letting out a shaky breath.

"But if I'm being honest with you, my biggest regret would be puttin' you in any danger. Now I can't even look at you without being reminded of my mistakes... that's why it was better that you hated me instead, because it's not fair for you to forgive me after all that"

All his talking about himself was painful to even hear. Let alone the sad and defeated expression on his face. This was the most vulnerable he has ever shown himself to you. The big brother you always thought to be this indestructible force was now bawling out his emotions to you. Oddly enough, you felt glad to see him open himself up to you. This was a new start... when he became quiet, you decided to speak.

"I get why you'd think that but... didn't you tell me it was useless to dwell on things you know is irreversible? Yeah sure, I did have bad stuffs happen to me but you also helped me out of it"

"Bad things which you wouldn't be in if it weren't for me" He was quick to add when you paused but you were fast to respond.

"I know I know but... my point is... some good came out of it... and we can't change the past so we might as well control what comes next. You know... shape our destiny..." You said, feeling awkward as he stares at you a bit too hard but suddenly out of nowhere he snorts into laughter.

"What! Why are you laughing about?" You were confused at his reaction because you weren't sure if he was genuinely humoured or losing his sanity.

"I didn't know you were into that cheesy Shakespeare shit. Where'd you read that one from? The library?" He wheezes and you roll your eyes from his teasing. He can never take you seriously.

"Did you even hear what I said?" You said and from his body shifting a bit was when you realise your feet has been pressed against his leg the entire time you've both spoken. The heavy weight of the blanket must have made it harder to feel.

Even though your skin is touching his, he doesn't seem to be rotting or anything. Rather, he's still laughing at your talk just now. When he finally stops is when you point out your discovery to him. By the time he sees it, he's fast to pull his leg from contact of your skin as to not play with his luck.

"Well shit... what do you make of that?" Butcher looks at you after pretty much leaping up to his feet.

"Then it means that my powers could be controlled?? How is the question..." You said but Butcher seemed to have lose interest on that as another thing is already on his mind.

"So you don't blame me... after everything?" He asked and you look at him, your body frozen with your hand was in the process of lifting up your feet just now to get a close inspection.

"No... but if you keep pissing me off with your attitude I might start hating you" You said after finally leaving your feet alone. He chuckles lowly.

"You're not the brightest person I know" He said but there was a smile on his face. A happy one to be precise.

"That's because I'm related to you, fucker" You joked back.

Eventually after you two seemed to resolve the tension between you both, you manage to go back to sleep with Butcher willing to watch over you by sitting beside you on the bed, but it didn't take long for him to fall asleep, which trying to be as discreet as possible, you were able to catch a peek of. Since you didn't want him to freeze, you place the extra blanket onto him. After all, maybe he's not that much of an asshole.

TAGS

@demodemo909 @naniky @1infp1

[bitterbutblue]

interrogation - jane doe

just know you'll taste me too ☆ jane doe x fem!reader

~ THE JANE DOE TRAILER WAS SO FAN SERVICE BUT SORRY IT UNLOCKED SOMETHING IN ME... HOT RAT GIRL SAVE ME...

warning: SUGGESTIVE AND I SAY THE SEX WORD LIKE ONCE

song: taste - sabrina carpenter ~

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────

The first thing you took note of was how much your head hurt. An incessant pounding, each worse than the last. You take a deep breath in, feeling the cold air fill your lungs. It stings, breathing stings. It's like a blade dragging itself down your throat and it makes you feel like coughing. The second thing you take note of is the feeling of ropes digging into your skin around your wrists and ankles. You squirmed, trying to move but to no avail. You were tied down. The last thing you took note of was where you were. Your vision begins to clear itself after a couple blinks- you looked around, breathing shakily as you eyed the dark surroundings. Nothing but a single lamp light pointed down at you. Everything else was dark.

"Good morning~"

A sultry voice echoes through the room- low and smooth. The woman's voice wraps around your neck, her voice is your chokehold. You look around, eyes darting from left to right, up to down, as you try to find the source of the voice.

"Who- where the fuck am I?"

Your voice is hoarse, raspy. Your throat feels scratchy and speaking just dries it out even more. You wonder how long you've been knocked out for.

"You would want to know, wouldn't you?"

"Who the fuck wouldn't?"

You couldn't stop the retorts- yes you were about to possibly die but what fucking right does this woman have?

"Honestly, I don't think that matters too much. Also, watch your language- it's quite vulgar."

The figure steps out from the shadows, a blade in her hand. An all-too smug smirk on her face as she crouches down to your eye level. You would recognise that goddamn face from anywhere.

"Jane."

"Hi."

"Fuck you."

She just giggles.

"Glad to see you remember me."

Supposedly working for under the boss of your gang, but god knows better than that. You had your suspicions since the very first day and the day your gang got busted down. She had ran away- and the last thing you remember is a waft of smoke in front of your eyes and a wet towel with a foul odour over your nose and mouth.

"Bitch."

She narrows her eyes, standing up to move behind you. You hear her footsteps, soft but it still echoes in the hollows of this dark room. You gasp when you feel her lean over your shoulder, her hair tickling your neck as she smiles.

"Don't think I've forgotten our history, my dear."

Gay people always have some fucked up history with each other and this is more or less the proof. Having had sex with her on multiple occasions while she was working for your boss was probably not ideal for this situation too.

"Shame. I always wanted to see you tied down for me, just not under these circumstances."

You scoffed, looking away. You couldn't help the blush that had started creeping up from your neck and had now dusted your cheeks with a bright shade of pink. You shifted uncomfortably, trying to find some way out of the stupid ropes.

"What do you want."

You curse yourself for your shaky voice.

"I just have a few questions."

You couldn't help but roll your eyes. It was always more than 'just a few questions'. It has never, and never will be, 'just a few questions' with Jane. She moves so that she's knelt between your thighs and in other circumstances this would've been incredibly hot (but truthfully told you couldn't help but swallow at the sight). Her tail wraps itself around your leg as she inches closer.

"How did he get away?"

"How the fuck am I supposed to know? You knocked me the fuck out!"

She rests a hand on your thigh and you physically shudder at the touch.

You feel pathetic.

"You were a high ranking member. Not as high ranking as me.. but-"

"Okay, no need to rub that in-"

"But. We had you all surrounded. There was no way a 7 foot giant of a man could've gotten away. How?"

Is she just bad at her job?

"Dude, how the fuck am I supposed to know? I'm a lower rank than you- you should've kidnapped someone else for fuck's sake!"

Jane just giggles as her fingers begin inching up higher and higher and the once icy cold room suddenly feels like it's burning hot. You squirm again, there has to be some fucking way out of these binds. Her tail unravels itself, moving up so that it caresses your face. You shiver at the touch- the cold, metallic blade just barely grazing your cheek.

"You had connections with him no one else had."

"Shut- what?"

"You were the most convenient one to grab... considering your long history with the boss I wouldn't be surprised if he was your uncle."

"He's not." You scowl, trying not to show her exactly how much her touch affects you. You feel the blade on her tail move down, now moving itself to graze your neck.

Why was that so hot?

"Hm, sure."

She just giggles again, this time moving off her knees and back onto her feet. She presses a hand against your chest, the other on the side of your thigh as she leans down so that her face was mere inches from yours and you can feel her breath fan against your face and you can feel her eyes boring into yours and-

Oh you're so gay.

"Just tell me where he went, and we can settle this nicely like before."

"What? Did you just want to fuck me one last time before I go to jail or something?"

"Maybe." She shrugs, hand trailing up so that it wrapped around your neck. You felt her squeeze gently, and your breath catches in your throat. The room is overheating. You're overheating.

"Just be a good girl for me and tell me the truth?"

That bitch.

You couldn't help but shudder but god you can't give in to her because you're horny and pathetic, that's so stupid!

"Fuck you."

She sighs.

"I knew this would take a while."

Her eyes dart up and down your body, taking in your restrained state with a small and satisfied smirk as her grasp around your throat softens. You catch your breath- only for it to be taken away when you feel her blade trail downwards.

"I don't mind staying."

[woso-dreamzzz]

Tia Tana II

Magdalena Eriksson x Hardersson!Reader

Aitana Bonmatí x Hardersson!Reader

Part of The Big Adventures Universe

Summary: Tia Tana takes you to meet Spain's keepers

Alexia smiles at you as you and Tia Tana approach.

You smile back.

She nudges both of the girls in Keeper shirts. "She's going to be better than both of you when she grows up."

"Huh?"

"This is y/n," Tia Tana introduces," Pernille and Magda's daughter."

"The little girl in the hallway at the final against Chelsea?" One of the non-keeper girls asks," She's grown."

"Kids do that Jenni," Alexia says with an eye roll.

"Yeah but she was so little then and now she's like a teenager."

"I'm still little," You say," Because Morsa and Momma still pick me up."

It's the girl with the tattoos on her arm. She's a very vague figure in your mind. You think she took one of your Ahlgrens Bilar during the break of that match.

"y/n," Tia Tana says," This is Jenni. She used to play for Barca."

"Hi," You say before tilting your head to look at the keepers. They don't look like Zećira or any other keeper you know. But that's okay though because Momma says everyone is different and that's good because otherwise the world would be boring.

"This is Misa," Tia Tana says," She plays for Real Madrid. And Cata, she plays with me and Alexia at Barcelona. And I think you must have seen Ona before too."

"Briefly," Ona confirms," How can I forget the assistant coach of Chelsea?"

You decide that you like Ona. She has a fun accent that's different to Momma and Morsa's when they speak English. She also recognises you as the important person you were for Chelsea and that's important too.

"Used to be," You say," But now we're leaving for Germany to Bayern."

You must make a face because the girls all laugh.

"You don't like Germany?" Jenni asks.

"I like Germany because of Wolfsburg," You say," Bayern's okay, I guess, because they've got a red jersey like Arsenal. Arsenal's my second most favourite. I'm going to play for Arsenal when I'm older."

"As a keeper," Tia Tana continues, adjusting her grip on you. She jerks her chin at Misa and Cata. "That's why she's going to be better than you too."

Misa and Cata laugh and Misa gets a bit closer to give you a fist bump.

"You know," She says," If you really want to be the best keeper in the world, you need to come to Real Madrid. We're the best!"

There's outrage from the rest of the girls and Alexia easily plucks you from Aitana's arms to speak to you. You know it must be important because Momma does this sometimes too.

"Don't listen to Misa," She says," Barcelona's the best and don't let anyone else tell you differently."

You think for a moment. "Daan says Lyon is the best."

There's more outrage.

"Van de Donk thinks Lyon is the best," Alexia says," She's entitled to her own opinion."

"But it's wrong," Cata appears over Alexia's shoulder," Because Barcelona is the best and you should definitely come over and join us when you're older."

You tilt your head to the side as you think. "Tia Tana, is Barcelona good?"

"Very good," Tia Tana promises you.

Misa scoffs and rolls her eyes. "Don't indoctrinate her! She's just a baby!"

"We can't help it if Barcelona outclasses Madrid every match," Jenni chuckles.

"How many El Clásicos have you won again?" Ona teases and Misa shoves her away with an eye roll.

"Watch it, Batlle," She says," You'll see when you come back this year. We've been working on some stuff."

Cata scoffs but doesn't get involved with the little squabble. She strips her gloves. "Here," She says, pressing them into your hands," It's probably poor taste since I just beat your mum with them but, here. Every keeper needs a good set of gloves."

You beam at her. "Thank you!"

"I don't know how you guys came into custody of my baby," Morsa's teasing voice says from behind you," But I'd like to get her back now, please. Pernille would kill me if I let you take her back to Spain."

"I'm sure we could come to an agreement," Tia Tana says, smiling a wide smile at Morsa," Fifty-fifty custody? We've got Frido in Spain too. It's not like she'll forget her Swedish."

"I think Pernille's more worried about her losing her Danish than her Swedish," Morsa says. She takes you from Alexia. "And I'm actually quite fond of her."

"I got new gloves, Morsa," You tell her, holding them up so she can inspect them.

"Very nice, princesse," Morsa says," But I think it's time to say goodbye to your new friends. You look very tired."

A crinkle appears between your brows. "I'm not tired."

"Yes, you are." Morsa's chuckling now. "Come on. If we head back now I promise you can have a sleepover with Frido and Amanda."

You look at her suspiciously. "And I get to bring Rocky?"

Morsa sighs deeply. "Yes, you can bring the rock."

"Okay!"

"Say goodbye."

"Bye!" You wave at the Spanish girls happily, blowing a big kiss for Tia Tana before turning back to Morsa. "Momma lets me have sweeties when I sleep over with the Denmark girls. Can I have sweeties with Frido and Mandy?"

"Can't you just be happy that I'm letting you bring the rock?"

"Rocky would have come anyway. Can I have sweeties?"

"Fine, you can have sweets."

[gonzo-rella]

Them | Art Donaldson

MASTERLIST | AO3 | KO-FI

Relationship(s): Art Donaldson x gn!reader (unrequited romantic), Art Donaldson x Tashi Duncan x Patrick Zweig (romantic)

Summary: You'll never be them.

Warnings: Angst, unhappy relationship. (Let me know if I need to add any)

Word count: 0.3k

(A/N: I saw Challengers today and… oh boy. This throuple is so fucking compelling, I like depressing shit, and I had a crush on Mike Faist's Connor Murphy when I was a teen, so I figured why not write something to combine my crush, my love of depressing shit and my fascination with this throuple to write a little thing. I thought it'd be a really interesting dynamic to explore. If you'd be interested in seeing more from this idea, let me know, and I'll happily write something! I'm tempted to write an angsty thing where the reader is finally open about the fact that they know about Art's feelings for Tashi and Patrick.)

You’ll never be them. 

You’ll never be Tashi Duncan, whose gaze he craves like sunlight. It’s like he searches for his reflection in her eyes- no matter the distance between them- because that’s the only place he wants to exist, or can exist. He gets lost in them. It’s a good job he doesn’t want to leave; he couldn’t if he tried.

You’ll never be Patrick Zweig, whose smile would make his knees buckle were his legs not strong from years of training. His stare can’t stop time quite like Tashi’s, but he’d probably melt if Patrick looked at him for long enough.

Their history is something you’ve pieced together from scraps of anecdotes he’s reluctantly offered up over the time you’ve been together. Each one serves as a bedtime story you can’t help but tell yourself late at night, the ceiling a screen on which to project memories that aren’t yours. Art always faces away from you when you’re in bed together. You used to wonder if he was dreaming of them, or just her, or just him. But, one night, you noticed the moonlight reflected in his eyes, and you realised he was lying awake, too, as tortured by Tashi and Patrick as you.

He can love more than one person at a time. Maybe he loves you, too. But, he doesn’t love you like Tashi, or like Patrick. You know that. He can say those three magic words all he wants. He can kiss you. He can look at you. It all rings hollow when adoration practically radiates off him when he locks eyes with Patrick or Tashi. You recognise it because it’s like the adoration that radiates off you when you look at him.

But, you don’t say anything. Just like how Art doesn’t say anything.

[hellodropbear]

like she used to (bonus)

alexia putellas x sister

part I, II, III, IV, V, VI, VII

it's been well over a month since I finished the last part of like she used to and started this chapter, i'm so sorry for the delay!

a week after i posted the last part i was on a run in the national park near my house and it is between two beaches (literally my favourite run ever) so very sandy and uneven and i was running alone and tore my acl/mcl lol so I have been preoccupied with that stuff.

i'm super fucking pissed as well because i was supposed to have state cross country in a couple weeks (first season in the open group) AND my reconstruction is scheduled for like two weeks before peak surf life saving season so i'll probably miss the whole summer and into autumn AS WELL as the competitions we do throughout the summer.

anyway i had to quit football and dance because of a back injury so if this means i have to quit xc and/or sls i'll be super sad.

rant over and here is a new part of like she used to, a popular request of when elena meets olga

:)

~~~~~~

I was a lot littler when I met Jenni. She was tall and had heaps of tattoos littered around her body. Her arm's weren't dissimilar to Mapi's, but they were better at picking me up - either to restrain me or comfort me.  

The first time I met her was on the pitch, on Mapi's shoulders at the end of a game for Spain. I think I was about 6, too big to be carried around like that, but my resistance was ignored and Mapi had pulled me up anyway. 

She was shouting and chanting as she walked around the pitch, making me squeal in laughter as she tugged on my leg and made joke after joke. She only quietened as we approached a bunch of chatting footballers. I had met most of them before, but Jenni was there, the only one I didn't recognise. 

I distinctly remember Mapi tugging me down and holding me up on her hip, pointing at Jenni. She knew I didn't know her, she knew how anxious I became when I was introduced to new people so she made sure I was secure in her arms, my head pressed against her neck.

"Ah! The baby Putellas!" She smiled at me - that friendly, toothy grin that quickly became so familiar. 

I leant back into the familiarity of Mapi, mumbling my response quietly. 

"Not a baby." 

Mapi had laughed, ruffling my hair and planting a kiss on my head. 

"She is six now. You're so big, mi pequena!"

My gaze never left Jenni, still curious about the unfamiliar woman standing in front of me. Mapi must have noticed, because she continued to speak when nobody else did. 

"Elena, this is Jenni Hermoso. She plays here with Spain and also Barcelona with Ale!"

I nodded, smiling shyly at Jenni. 

"I have seen you at home, Elena, but your sister likes to keep you safe and away from all of us players."

I looked up at Mapi, uncertainty written all over my face. She leaned down to me, whispering in my ear. 

"Jenni is a striker for Barcelona, she plays very well."

"Not as well as you, Mapi!" 

She had chuckled softly, kissing my head again. 

"Tell Jenni that."

I looked back up at the dark haired woman, a shy smile on my face. 

"Mapi plays too! She is a defender. I want to be a defender when I grow up and become just like Mapi."

Jenni chuckled as Mapi adjusted her hold on me, allowing her to pull me closer as she wrapped her arms around me. 

"Who knows. Maybe if you get to know me better you'll grow up to become one of the greatest strikers of all time."

I don't remember what happened next, but both Mapi and Jenni laugh when they retell the story of me scrunching up my nose and shaking my head, confident that defence was the only area I would consider going into. 

From then on, Jenni became a familiar face. One that I would recognise at Alexia's games and approach shyly, blushing as she pulled me up onto her hip and walked me around the pitch. 

It was a welcome surprise when Alexia arrived home from training one night, Jenni right behind her with a bashful smile on her rosy face. She sat beside me at the dinner table, sneaking the food I didn't want to eat and making me laugh by kicking Alexia's leg. 

She quickly established her role in our family, and I quickly realised how much I liked having her around. 

She started to pick me up from school, driving me to my own trainings, kicking the ball with me in the back yard when she got home from her training. She was like another sister and as I grew older I began to confide in her like she was related by blood. 

So when Mami told me they had broken up, I was distraught. It was bad enough that she had moved to Mexico, but when she came back to Spain and didn't visit our house, it felt like I had lost a sister. 

Because that's what she was; a sister. 

Mami or Alba must have told her how upset I was though, because she sent me a text not long after, apologising. 

I'm sorry I couldn't say goodbye, pequena. I love you so much and I will miss seeing you all the time. I can't wait to watch you grow into a brilliant defender and I have no doubt you will be just like Mapi like you said you wanted to be all those years ago. I am so proud of you and I am always rooting for you and always here for you if you ever need me. 

I had cried over that message, I hate to admit. But it was when everything started to fall apart; when I was beginning to question everything I knew about myself and my family. My emotions were high and I think Jenni disappearing from my life tipped me over the edge, sending me into a raging ocean, swallowing me and spitting me right back out again. 

It's ok. Spain will miss you. I'll miss you a lot as well. Sorry you couldn't convince me to become a striker like you.

~~~~~~

Meeting Olga is different. 

There's no Mapi holding me, right there to carry me away if I want to leave, to comfort me if something goes wrong or to kiss the top of my head to remind me of her presence. 

There's not much comfort left in Alexia either, she is still trying so hard to build back our relationship but for some reason I am struggling to let her. 

I can't confide in Alba, because she met Olga months ago, when they first got together. Mami thinks she is brilliant. 

Of course I have stalked her instagram, my heart racing as I struggled to understand how my sister went from Jenni Hermoso to this girl. Mapi told me it was bad to compare the two, and bad to judge Olga before meeting her. 

They are friends, Mapi and Olga. She became defensive when I said that I don't care who Alexia is dating anymore, that it won't make any difference to my life anymore. 

She told me that I should give it a try.

I told her I'd do it. I told her I'd do it for her. 

~~~~~~

Ingrid dropped me off at my home, sensing my reluctance to head in and reassuring me it would all be ok, that Olga is great. She told me that if I need, I can just send her a text and she will get me to take me back home. 

They didn't want me to leave their apartment, Mapi and Ingrid. Mapi worries a lot, I have found, and had many lengthy discussions with Mami about my wellbeing, how it had declined so quickly and the crash had slipped right through Mami's eyes. 

"She needs to stay somewhere that she can receive the love and care that she hasn't had, Eli! It's not your fault you are busy, but I am not. I can take care of her while she is still vulnerable and then in a couple months, we can rethink."

I wasn't supposed to be listening to their conversation, but Mapi's temper had been rising and her voice became louder as a result. I closed my door again when she finished, not wanting to hear what Mami had to say. 

I held bagheera hostage and wept into her fur, and she stayed with me all night, still asleep by my side when I woke up the next morning, Mapi knocking on my door with breakfast, ready to confirm that I would be living with her indefinitely. 

She said that she was going to help me and look after me. She said she was always there if I wanted to talk, if I wanted to cry, yell, laugh. She said I was going to be ok with such confidence, like there wasn't a doubt in the world. 

"This will just be a blip, pequena. Everything will be ok soon, and I will be right here making sure that time comes."

But, despite my reluctance, she wouldn't take no for an answer when she found out about this dinner tonight, about meeting Olga. 

They are all already sat around the table when I enter the kitchen, slipping my shoes off and walking over to where Mami is sitting, dutifully planting a kiss on her cheek before moving back to my spot beside Alba. 

"Hola."

Alexia looks at me. Alba looks at me. Mami looks at me. But I am focussed on the new brunette sitting across from Alba, waiting for her to make eye contact. 

"It's nice to meet you. I'm Elena."

She looks up at me hesitantly. 

"I know. I'm Olga. It's nice to meet you too, Elena."

I can almost hear the collective sigh of relief around my dinner table as I sit down, still focussed on Olga. I have nothing left to say though, so I am grateful when Alba picks up a new conversation. 

I provide input when necessary, but I am more focussed on Olga than I would like to admit, my eyes straying over to her a bit too frequently. 

She seems, nervous? Maybe. It could be that she doesn't like the food, the way she is picking away at it. But Mami cooks the greatest paella I've ever eaten, and I've heard from Alba that Olga loves any types of food. 

The other and more likely option is that she's nervous because of my presence, which is an idea I am entirely uncomfortable with. But it is almost confirmed in the way she avoids eye contact through the whole dinner, and I feel deflated as I traipse up the stairs and into my room, sitting on my piano stall for the first time in months. 

It's been almost two months since that day. Two months since I left this house, running as far as I possibly could from the darkness it trapped me in. 

I don't like to think about that day, about how I felt in the days leading up to it and the days after it because how am I supposed think about how I felt when I didn't feel anything?

Things have changed so much since then. I made my debut for Barcelona. My sister apologised. I have started living with Mapi and Ingrid, closer to training. I have stopped going to school after my therapist told me it was too much. Everybody knew that quitting football wasn't an option. 

I haven't touched a piano since that day, so the keys feel cold and unfamiliar underneath my fingers. My chords are dissonant and my rhythms are erratic and unsteady. 

It feels like I have lost my touch, and I can feel that connection I had with my father drift further and further away from me as my fingers continue to improvise. I resort back to the first song he ever taught me, a little nursery rhyme but the familiar notes destroy me in an entirely different way, memories flooding through my head, Papi sat beside me on the stall helping me, my sisters and Mami squished on the tiny office couch behind us, cheering me on and singing along. 

My hands retreat from the piano before I get too frustrated and instead, I let my eyes drift up to the picture that has hung above it since it was moved into my room. 

Shaking hands reach forward to pluck it from my wall, and it sits in my lap, my head dipped as I stare at it, memorising every tiny detail. 

I was so small, wrapped up in my sisters' arms. She looked so excited to have a new baby sister, the smile on her face is unfamiliar to me now. 

Alba is beside her, staring down at my tiny body, as if she was printing the image of me into my memory. Mami is gazing at the camera, smiling with her hand wrapped up in Papi's, her head resting on his shoulder as he stares lovingly at his three daughters, his eyes full of tears. 

I quickly wipe away the tear that drops onto the glass, inhaling softly and letting the air leave me once more. My eyes close and I try not to picture how different my life would be if he hadn't of died, if we were still a happy family of five. 

I wonder sometimes, if he would have let the family divide, form a big crack that could be glued together so many times but never completely fixed. Never back to how it once was, always more sensitive than it should be. 

I don't think he would have. 

At least that's what I tell myself. 

I am still staring down at the picture when there is a soft knock on my door, it creaking quietly as Mami pushes it open. 

"She is very happy to have met you, Elena."

I frown, my eyebrows crinkling. It didn't feel like that. Mami speaks again before I have time to come up with a response. 

"But she doesn't know how to bond with you, because she thinks it is her fault that you and Alexia fell out. She thinks she is the reason that you are so sad."

I shake my head. 

"It was long before she came along."

"I know. I know it was."

She sounds guilty, and I know her well enough to know it is because she wishes she did something early on. She wishes she did something at all, that much she has told me. She regrets leaving Mapi to pick up the pieces and try and glue me back together. 

She knows that Mapi has struggled though, because she does not have enough hands to hold the million pieces that I was shattered into together. She can not do it alone, but is reluctant to let me go somewhere else. 

"This is the best place for you at the moment, pequena. Your Mami and sisters are a phone call away, but I have so much time to make sure you are ok."

I heard her talking to Ingrid that night, telling her how worried she was that if I did go back home, if I went to stay with Alexia or Alba, everything would go back to how it was. 

They had agreed that night that they could provide me with the love and care they think I need, that wasn't given to me at home. 

"Can you tell her that she doesn't need to think that? I don't want her to treat me different to Alba or you."

I turn around to face her and notice the single tear that threatens to fall from her eye. 

She has been emotional recently, ever since she came to Mapi's to see me. She cried a lot then, apologising, telling me she was a terrible mother. Telling me that Papi would be ashamed of her. 

Something tells me she cries a lot when I'm not here, the silence that echoed through the house where loud laughs or cries once sang out swallowing her as she eats, sleeps and sits alone. 

"I think you should talk to her, Elena. It would mean a lot to her and to Alexia. It would make things better for the both of you."

~~~~~~

Mami's words follow me for the next few days. 

When Ingrid picks me up, I force a smile and tell her everything went well. Mapi is harder to convince, but I tell her I am tired and head straight up to bed. 

I think about Olga, what I could say to her. How I would even meet up with her. 

She seems nice, and I do want to get to know her, to get along with her. And I think this is the only way to get past the initial awkwardness. It's not like she would come to me. 

It takes me two weeks to build up the courage to go see her, and the only person who knows is Mami because I had to ask for her address. She was happy, I could tell over the phone, encouraging me that it was the right decision, that I was good for doing this. 

I tell Mapi that I'm going to hang out with an old friend from school, but catch the bus out to Olga's apartment instead. 

She lives in a small Barcelona house, a few steps leading up to the large front door. 

I ignore the nerves that flare up inside me as I walk up the stairs, my hand barely hesitating over the doorbell. 

I resist the urge to run and the door creaking opening is the final confirmation that this conversation is happening now. 

She seems surprised to see me, but her initial shock is quickly masked by an awkward smile as she invites me inside, offering me snacks, drinks, a meal. I decline, perching myself on the edge of her sofa after she sits down. 

She looks at me intently, waiting for me to initiate some sort of conversation, but the words aren't coming out. The words I have been brainstorming for the past two weeks seem to have flown out the window as soon as I entered the apartment, leaving me with nothing to say. 

The length of the silence is verging on the edge of being awkward, and Olga clears her throat and speaks instead. 

"It was nice to meet you the other night, Elena. I had heard so much about you and I have been looking forward to meeting you for so long." 

She beamed at me, and I smiled back sheepishly, still unsure what to say. 

I hesitate for an embarrassingly long time, before words finally come to me. 

"Sorry."

Confusion flashes over her face and her mouth opens to speak, but I beat her to it, elaborating. 

"You were probably looking forward to meeting me and I left as soon as dinner finished."

"It's ok." 

She answered too quickly, and I flickered my eyes towards her. A small smile sat on her face, and she had relaxed into the cushions of the sofa. 

"I have thought about what I wanted to say so many times, but I have forgotten how I wanted to start."

I chuckle sheepishly and she shakes her head. 

"You don't need to worry, Elena. I don't want you to be scared of me, or what I think. I just want to know you, and I want you to know me."

"I- It's just- I don't know. You know about everything that's happened... with me and Alexia?"

She nods hesitantly and opens her mouth to speak but again, I beat her to it. 

"It's not your fault. Like, not at all. Mami said you think that and it's not true. It is a lot older than that, all the way back to when Ale and Jenni first broke up."

I didn't really know what reaction I expected from her, but I did not think she would relax so visibly. Her entire body loses any remaining tension, and she releases a loud, long breath. 

"Thank you, Elena. For saying that. She's told me how much you mean to her and how badly she screwed up. I didn't want to be the reason for that. Mapi has mentioned vaguely how it hurt you, and I didn't want to be the reason for that either."

I shake my head.

"You don't need to worry about it. It's not because of you, and it's getting better now. Slowly. I'll be ok."

"I know you'll be ok." 

Her words come out in a whisper and she continues when I look at her in confusion. 

"I have heard a lot about you, Elena, but most of the time, it is about your strength. Everyone says how strong you are, how resilient. Everyone is so proud of you, of who you've become and it is so hard for them because you are the only one who can't see it. You are the only person who doubts yourself. Alexia blames herself and I blame her too."

Her words hit a chord that hasn't been hit in a long time. People have said that to me so many times, in so many different ways. They tell me I am strong, resilient. That I am a hard worker and that I persevere. Usually, it means nothing to me, just more words that are said out of obligation, to try and please me. 

But Olga's words are full of emotion that I can practically feel radiating off her. She means it, I realise. She isn't saying this to make me feel good, or because Alexia told her to. 

She is telling me this because she wants to, because she wants me to hear it, to understand it. 

"I don't blame Alexia for anything any more."

She shakes her head. 

"You should. Because everyone else knows it is true, that her neglect impacted you in ways that cannot be reversed. Things she did that left marks that will never go away and it will haunt her. It already does. She loves you so much. So much. But sometimes she will start crying and I just know it's because she is thinking about you."

There are tears in her eyes, and there are tears in mine. 

And then the tears slip down my face and she is quick to pull me into a hug. 

"You didn't deserve any of this and I am sorry that I didn't do more to stop this. You tell me it is not my fault, but I did nothing. Absolutely nothing. And for that, I will blame myself."

I shake my head again.

"It was not your responsibility."

But I know she knows that, I know what she is trying to say. 

And maybe if she had done something, said something, things would be different. 

But the cracks were already there and they would have remained no matter when Alexia came to apologise. 

I am in a good place. 

Alexia and I will be in a good place soon.

There is nothing anyone can do to change what happened. 

"Thank you for being there for Ale. I know she's had a hard time too."

~~~~~~

lol hope you enjoyed (this has barely been edited so will probably go through it in the morning again)

i'm not kidding this chapter has taken me so so long and I really don't like it but i have written, edited, deleted and rewritten for so long so this is the best we're getting for now

if anyone has any other requests for this fic or an entirely new one let me know!

i have ideas for a new fic coming though so we'll see when I get round to finishing one of those chapters :)

[qdbs-writes]

Do you write fem readers?!? 😭 If so can you write some head cannons about the Cullens with a goth s/o

i proudly write for all readers, nonny! and I'm gonna assume this about about trad!goth, but I'll try and make sure this applies to most goth subcultures!

Cullen Clan x Goth!Fem!S/O

Carlisle Cullen

He's confused but supportive. Back in his day, the term 'goth' only applied to the people who sacked Rome, which he'll remind you of regularly, especially if you're visiting the Volturi (who will also assume that you are directly connected to the ancient Goths, and would fear you as a result).

He'd be interested in your genealogy, because he thinks you're connection to the goth style can't be mere coincidence or personal choice, and it wouldn't be difficult to find out either, all he'd have to do is check if you have any Germanic ancestry from the last 2000 years.

Esme Cullen

If you're happy and comfortable, she's happy and comfortable. While it probably isn't her style personally, she's quick to see the benefits. For instance, black is a very easy colour to maintain, particularly with regards to cleaning.

Her only concern is getting you clothes other than black so that you can have something to wear to events that may require specific colours, like if you two are guests at a wedding (she wouldn't want you wearing black as it's bad luck for the couple).

Edward Cullen

Edward himself is basically a diet-corporate goth, so dating you will probably help him develop his own sense of comfort in the style.

The two of you are regularly seen brooding in the Forks CVS, loitering around the hair dye section, silently terrifying all of the elderly people waiting at the pharmacy.

Edward is likely already very familiar with goth music, has absolutely been to some Bauhaus concerts in his time, and probably has a respectable collection of gothic rock records in his room.

Rosalie Hale

It'll be like a Barbie/Oppenheimer-esque clash in aesthetics. I personally see Rosalie with a very Y2K aesthetic, so the two of you walking down the street together might turn some heads.

That doesn't mean that she isn't fully supportive of your style though, and appreciates the philosophy of the aesthetic, how it's a style built on defying expectations of conformity and obedience. In her short life, all Rosalie knew was to dress properly, smile, be open, happy, a willing host, an amusing guest. In death, she's proud to be herself, and even prouder to be with someone so comfortable with dressing exactly how they want, regardless of what others might think.

Emmett Cullen

You dress scary and Emmett loves it. He has regularly compared you to a venomous snake, your black clothes and aggressive makeup mean that almost everyone in Forks steers clear of you. But not Emmett, he's never had the survival instincts to stay away from things that could kill him, in fact, your "unapproachable" style only drew him in more.

Absolutely loves wandering around Forks with you, even if you aren't particularly doing anything. He thinks it's hilarious that some people cross the street to avoid you, it's like having 'scary dog' privileges.

Alice Cullen

She'd seen you in her visions for some time, but she almost didn't recognise you when you started dressing strangely and wearing heavy makeup. At first, it disturbed her, you looked like the sleep-paralysis demons that used to haunt her in the asylum.

Once she gets the chance to meet you in real life, that fear quickly subsides. Through your relationship, Alice learns how much of a safe space goth society can be, and that she can rely on other goths to not be judgemental towards her like so many others are.

Jasper Hale

Greatly appreciates the Victorian-era elements that are incorporated into your clothes, it helps him feel less old. You'll make his day if you show any interest in his clothes and jewellery that he had in life, particularly the more morbid pieces (such as the ring made out of his mother's hair).

If you're looking particularly historical, he'll love to get in his original clothes from when he was alive (except the ""uniform"" that shan't be mentioned), and stroll about Forks with you, arm in arm, like a true Southern gentleman.

[pvrkacciosan]

Love on fire

A/n: this one was written by my twin, @dreamiezpsycho, she will probably write a few more, so expect to hear more from her in the future

Synopsis: Charles is unable to even start the race when he discovers your life is on the line.

Pairing: Charles Leclerc X Fem!reader

Warnings; house fire, panic, detail of injury, mention of death

Word count: 3.5K

You and Charles had always had a very understanding relationship. Had always been very open with each other. And it was established early on that you were extremely bad at replying to text and remembering to message him back. So he currently wasn't concerned that you hadn't replied to his most recent ones.

You had been at the track this morning but had left a little over an hour ago to finalise the paper for your house, having sold it to someone. You and Charles still lived separately, but you were currently in the midst of forming a plan to move in with him.

Most of your very important stuff already being at his house meant you only had the last bits and pieces to pack and collect from your place. Maybe sell some of the furniture you no longer needed.

His current assumption was that you were too engrossed in something to respond to him, so he thought nothing of it knowing you'll get back to him eventually.

He pulled his focus back to his busy schedule. He had about 10 minutes before he was due to be pulled into another meeting, and wanted a couple minutes of peace before he was dragged out of the comfort of his room.

Inside the room he could hide from the chaos of the world outside, taking five minutes to breath. But the funny thing was the chaos soon materialise in his room in the form of his brother, Arthur.

At first Charles was ready to kick him out too content with the silence and comfort of his own thought. But he soon realised having someone to talk with wasn't the worst thing. Arthur situated himself in the chair opposite Charles and they fell into easy and light topics of conversation.

Charles had a habit of silencing his phone in his brief time spent in his room, so he never saw the frantic message from his eldest brother and friends.

So it was a shock when Lorenzo burst through the door, making both Charles and Arthur jump in their seats. Their eldest brother had been followed by a Ferrari worker who looked like he had been trying to stop his brother from coming in entirely.

Lorenzo looked frantic, heavy breaths left his chest and sweat dotted his forehead. He held his phone in one hand and supported himself on the doorframe with the other. His eyes instantly found Charles.

He went to say something when the Ferrari worker trued to push Lorenzo out the room by his chest. Charles didn't recognise the man, who was probably new. But his hand on his eldest brother chest trying to force him out the room only seemed to anger Charles.

" Dude let him in, he's my brother" at Charles's words the worker froze. He dropped his hand from Lorenzo's chest but still looked like he would prefer if the older Leclerc would leave the room. He looked at Charles again, nodded before he walled out. He had only vanished when Lorenzo started speaking.

"Have you heard from Y/n?" Lorenzo's words sent a cold chill down his spine. It wasn't uncommon for his brothers to question her whereabouts. She was always with Charles now and that meant she had gotten really close to his family. They loved her, sometimes he thinks it's greater than the love they have for him. But Lorenzo's tone told him this wasn't one of those times they asked out of curiosity. This was urgent. Panicked.

Charles couldn't seem to form words, they got all caught up in his throat. He manged to shake his head as he stood, about to give a verbal response when another familiar face appeared at the door to his room.

"Why the hell is your phone on silent?!" Pierre questioned, he almost sounded angry as he too held his phone in his hand. His race suit hanging around his waist. It was obvious he had run here as well, how he had gotten past the Ferrari workers this close to a race Charles didn't ask. He also didn't answer Pierre's' question.

"What is going on?" He had clearly missed something big and almost held his breath waiting for the answer. Arthur had now risen up from his chair and stood a foot behind Charles. Also looking equally as confused.

"Have you really not heard from Y/n?" Lorenzo asked again. Just to make sure Charles grabbed his phone from the desk. Still he hadn't had anything from you. For some reason this made his heart clench. Panic rose without warning.

"No I haven't. Now will someone tell me what's going on?" Charles felt like he couldn't breath, Pierre and Lorenzo looked between each other. They didn't know how to tell him the news. Charles could see it on their faces.

He felt a light tapping on his shoulder the same time Arthur whispered his name softly. Charles spun to see his younger brothers eye on the screen. They held disbelief and pain in them. Charles didn't even wait he simply snatched the phone from Arthur's hands.

On the screen was a News article. It had only been put up ten minutes ago, and it was continuously being updated. It was last updated two minutes ago. Upon reading the head line Charles whole being froze.

MONACO APARTMENT BURNT DOWN. THREE CONFIRMED DEAD.

He continued to read and the more the words seemed to blur. He felt like his world was falling apart. And it did when he read the last line.

" That's Y/n's address" He looked up from the screen in the hopes that his brother would deny it. He waited for anyone to tell him it was a joke. But no one did. No one said a word. The silence screamed at him. He needed to get out of this room.

He said nothing to his brothers or best friend as he shoved his way past them, grabbing his car keys and walking out the door. He didn't bother to respond to any of the mechanics or staff as he charged past them. He couldn't respond to them, you being the only thing in his mind.

He didn't even know where he was going. Only that he had to get to you. You needed his help, he knew you weren't one of the three dead. You couldn't be, you simply had forgotten to text him back. That was it. You were always forgetting to respond to his messages. He wouldn't accept the alternative. Knew it couldn't be true.

It was Lorenzo who caught up to Charles first. He grabbed a hold of his arm, forcing him to a stop. Charles spun to look at him.

"Charles stop. You're not thinking." Lorenzo was panting heavily. Had he been going that fast? "You can't just leave. We don't even know how badly her apartment was affected." His brother tried to reason.

"Enzo, it said burnt to the ground. That tells me all I need to know" He went to turn away again, attempting to find his car so he can drive to you. Lorenzo only tightened his grip.

"You can't just leave. What about the race? What will you tell the team?" His brother's words went in one ear and out the other. He couldn't think about racing when he didn't know if you were alive or dead. They couldn't expect him to race in this state. He could feel the panic taking root in his chest. It wouldn't be safe for him to drive a car.

Charles hadn't noticed that Pierre was standing next to Lorenzo until he started to speak.

"I'll tell them what happened. They'll understand. Go. I'll cover for you" Charles had never been more grateful for his best friend. He nodded at Pierre once before he was turning in the direction of his car, only to be stopped by Arthur this time.

"You're not driving" Arthur claimed as he snatched the keys from his fingers. Charles didn't even try to argue with his younger brother as the three Leclerc brother made their way towards his car.

Charles had never known torture like the kind he experienced in the drive to your apartment complex. The drive had never felt this long. But the smoke billowing above the buildings and the sirens going off in the distance only added to his agitation.

"Arthur, go faster" his younger brother heeded his request and pushed down more on the accelerator. The car picked up its pace. Racing through the streets so fast it couldn't be legal. Lorenzo in the back of the car had a steady hand on Charles shoulder.

The car was stopped two streets over from the apartment complex being blocked off by stopped cars. Fire fighters and police everywhere. Charles didn't even wait for the car to fully pull to a stop before he was out and running.

He doesn't remember the run through those last two streets separating him from you. And as he made the last turn onto the street he came to a screeching halt. He could only stare at the space where your apartment should be. The building was still smoking but that was the only evidence that a fire had existed. He couldn't yet make out if there was anything left after the fire, not with the amount of smoke still hanging in the air.

His thought became frantic as his mind forced his body into action again. He began moving through the crowds of service workers. He didn't seen any familiar faces. His search became one of desperation the longer he went without seeing your face.

He passed many people is various stages of distress. Some were crying in pain other held loved ones. Many were being treated by paramedics. In the back of an ambulance he finally saw a face he recognised and he raced towards it.

"Juliette" At the sound of her name being called the girl turned around. An oxygen mask sat over her mouth and nose. Her skin was covered in soot but she looked relatively unharmed.

"Charles?" You neighbour stared in momentary confusion as her eyes landed on him. Juliette was the girl who lived in the apartment next to yours. The two of you had become close friends, so she knew all about your formula one boyfriend.

"Are you alright?" He couldn't stop thinking about your safety but he had to make sure Juliette was alright as well. She nodded slightly. "Do you know where Y/n is?" This time she shook her head.

"I'm sorry Charles. I never saw her leave the building" The girl chocked back a sob as the words left her lips. The implication behind her words being too much for her after the already traumatic experience.

Without another word Charles spun back towards where the building should be. He felt helpless. He didn't know what to do. He heard Juliette call his name again, but he was already move further through the crowd. He refused to believe you had been one the three dead from the fire.

It began to feel like he had walked around the areas five times. And each time his search for you left him empty handed. There was a momentary clearing where the frantic paramedics and police officers seemed to walk around him unaware and unfazed of his presence entirely. Charles took this second to stop, he allowed his eyes to travel while his body remained stationery. He moved in a circular motion scanning over every face as he went. This felt hopeless. He felt hopeless. That was until he heard it.

He froze.

It was possible he was hearing things, but he still spun towards the sounds. Trying to pin point it's location. And there is was. There you were.

You were sitting in the back of an ambulance, hooked up to machines and oxygen mask sitting over your beautiful face. Your skin was black from the soot, it covering every inch of exposed skin. The white of your eyes stood out more then usual. But they zoned in on him none the less.

"Charles?" You said again. The fire had cause so much confusion you weren't sure if you were seeing your boyfriend or not. He shouldn't be here, having many responsibilities at the track. But as he turned you got a clear view of your boyfriend's face. "Charles" you cried loudly.

Charles watched as you unhooked yourself from the machines. And jumped from the back of the ambulance. Only when you were running did his body move on its own accord.

The two of you rushing through the crowd to reach over. When you did, your bodies collided. But you didn't feel any pain. Only relief. Charles wrapped himself around you, protecting you inside his arms. You squeezed back. You felt as he planted kiss after kiss on the top of your head. Your hair probably stunk on smoke but Charles didn't seem to care.

Charles pulled away first, keeping you at arms length as he looked you over. Checking for any visible injuries. When he found none his eyes finally met yours once more. His hand coming up to wipe away the tears you didn't realise had fallen.

"Your alright." He spoke. The words more of a reassurance to himself. The loud cry left you and he pulled you back into him.

He simply held you as you cried in his arms. The emotions of the day making their way out of you in the form of body rocking sobs.

"I'm so sorry" as you said the words through gasping breath Charles only looked on in confusion. Why were you apologising? " I should of text you. You must have been so worried, I'm so sorry"

"No no no, Ma chérie. Do not apologise, none of this is your fault" He pulled you into his chest again, bringing his hand up to stroke you hair down on the back of your head. Soothing your sobs.

Over your head he could see the paramedics who had been treating you making their way through crowd towards where you both stood. They carried oxygen with them.

It was then he realised you might not be injured physically but smoke can do just as much damage. He pushed you away slightly so he could look at your face.

"Come on, we better get to back to the ambulance so they can make sure you're alright." On cue the adrenaline seemed to wear off and your knees buckled. Almost as if they recalled how fatigued they were.

Charles reaction time being as quick as it was meant he caught you before you hit the ground.

"I've got you Chérie" Charles picked you up and began following the paramedics back towards the ambulance. He placed you down on the ledge by the doors.

He watched in concern as the paramedics placed the mask back over your face and began hooking you up to machines again. There was now a constant beep as they monitored your heart.

Only now did he take in how tired you looked. This worried him as he watch the paramedics work around you. Asking how you feel and stuff. He stood a little out the way with his arms crossed over his chest as he watched their every movement around you. Occasionally asked questions to what they were doing and why it was being done. They were mostly checking to see how much the smoke had damaged your lungs. And if you needed further medical attention.

It wasn't long before Lorenzo appeared. His face stuck around the side of the opened door to the ambulance. His face dropped into one of relief as he saw you were alright.

"Thank god" He said. You looked up sheepishly at the older Leclerc. " You gave us quite the scare" He chuckled lightly, but he smiled down at you.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to" you said. You began to play with your fingers when Charles took your hands in his.

"Where is Arthur?" Charles said as he turned to his elder brother. At his words you looked up at them both.

"Arthur is here too?" You gaped at them, shocked at the commotion you had caused. You couldn't imagine the amount of trouble Charles was gonna get in for this. Leaving like that before a race.

"Yeah, you had us all worried Chérie." He squeezed your hand in reassurance again, running his thumb over the back of your hand. "But where is he anyways?"

"He stayed with your very expensive car. I'll go and call him now to let him know everyone is alright" with that Lorenzo walked off somewhere to the left of the ambulance. On cue one of the paramedics turned to you with a slight smile on her face.

"Alright Y/n, we are comfortable with your stats. You don't need to come in, but if anything gets worse and you have any concerns don't be scared to come in to get check out." You nodded along with her words as her colleague began unplugging you from all the machines. "Have you got somewhere to stay tonight?" She asked you. Before you could even form the words your boyfriend beat you to it.

"Yeah she does. She's staying with me" the paramedic smiled between the two of you and nodded. Comfortable with the answer, she stated you were free to go and to simply take is easy.

Getting up you practically hung onto Charles side, who had an arm around you. Ready to catch you if you were to fall. He kept glancing over at you in concern.

"Charles I'm alright. I just really need sleep" He nodded at your words but didn't seem convinced. But a small smirk did work its way onto his face.

"You know, Chérie if you wanted to move in earlier. You should of just said so" you almost stopped and laughed at his words. The events of the day made you want to laugh as well as cry. Everything was so out of whack. "Was that too soon?" He questioned and you nodded. He smiled slightly as he pulled you closer to kiss you head.

"Come on Chérie. Let get you home to shower and get into bed" He said home.

And you liked the sound of that.

.

.

.

Taglist: @80sloverry @unofficial-journalist

[masonmount-vii]

It'll Make Sense One Day

Part One

april fifteenth

It's wedding season.

Y/N turns the blush pink envelope over and over in her hands, debating on whether or not to open.

Miss Y/N L/N is written in pretty, loopy cursive on the front, followed by your address. There's no return address, but you'd recognise your best friend's hand writing.

You already knows what it is.

"There's going to be a surprise from Scott and I in the post next week!" You remembered your best friend, Rachel chirping over the phone last week. "Oh silly me! I shouldn't have said that, because now you probably know what it is! Pretend i never told you!"

You, however, don't know why you are hesitant on opening the envelope.

Probably because then you'll have to acknowledge that all of your friends are getting married despite that you're still single, a voice that sounds suspiciously like your older sisters shrills.

You tear open the envelope and pull out the card inside. It isn't a card. necessarily, not one that opens or closes, like it would for a birthday.

Save The Date.

The glossy postcard-sized announcement reads in white script. Below is a picture of your best friend, Rachel, and her fiancé, Scott, on a mountain somewhere, a large expanse of valleys and sky behind them as they laugh. There's a rather large diamond ring on Rachel’s finger; you can't see it, you know it's there.

Rachel + Scott: 15/08/2024, the rest of the card says, and you take a moment to take it to the front of your fridge using a magnet to stick it on.

It's not like you are going to forget about this wedding; it's all Rachel has been talking about for the past month, ever since Scott proposed. At first, you had been enthusiastic; getting married is a big, exciting step, and you were genuinely excited for your girl.

But the more Rachel goes on about this wedding, the less you find yourself wanting to go. You know that all of your happily married friends are going to be there, and you're still single, have been for longer than you'd like to admit.

You wonder if you'll have to bring a plus one. If you do, It's not like you have anyone to bring.

Is there some sort of website people can use for this? Like a dating website, but for people who need plus one's for weddings?

You find yourself googling it and aren't too heartbroken when such a thing doesn't exist.

You'd known it would've been a long shot anyways.

Later on in the afternoon, you're making yourself dinner when your phone rings. You put it on speaker as you stir the pasta for your dinner.

"Hello?"

"Did you get our Save The Dates?" Rachel asks, straight to the point, her voice loud and excited on the other end.

You dare to laugh, despite feeling like that's the absolute last thing you want to be doing right now. "Yeah, I did. They're very cutesy. How does Scott feel about them?"

"Oh, I don't think he really cares. He just said that they could look like however I wanted to design them, as long as our families got them."

Does he care about anything when it comes to the wedding? You think, but there's no way in hell you'd ever say that.

"Do i need to bring a plus one?"

"You don't have to, but it would be nice. In fact, do you want me to set you up with a few guys in the months leading up to the wedding? That could be fun!"

"I'll pass," You tell her with a laugh.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

Rachel is her best friend, but before she met Scott, she was a little misguided when it comes to guys, and dating.

Not only when it came to guys, you think, but when it came to setting you up with guys, as well.

There was this one guy that Rachel set you up in our first year of university. His name was Nick and he refused to pay for your dinner in addition to his, so he basically expected you to pay for both of your dinners but you put your foot down and made a deal on paying for our own dinner. And to top it off he wouldn't even give you a ride home, so you had to call Rachel to come pick you up.

"Well, if you want to bring someone, you certainly can, Y/N," the future Mrs Hamilton is saying, and you don't know if that's a suggestion or something she's going to keep bringing up in future conversations.

You fight the urge to roll your eyes even though Rachel can't see you so it wouldn't be a big deal.

"The wedding isn't for another four months," you are gently reminded at the end of the phone call, so you know you have time to find a plus one.

It's just a matter of how.

And then, you get an idea.

-

The next morning you are woken up by your phone going off.

It's the kind of wake-up when you hear a noise and it's just the right volume to startle you awake, which you don't like.

You had forgotten to shut off your ringer last night, and the single ping must've been what woke you up.

TINDER: you have a message from Alex! the screen notifies you as you glance at it.

Who sends a message at seven in the morning? you speculate after seeing the time, and then you had pick up your phone anyway to see what Alex had said.

You had created a profile shortly before you fell asleep, in a stroke of genius so rare that you don't know where it came from or if it'll happen again. You had found four of your best pictures, typed out a relatively short bio (purposefully leaving out the reason why you had made the account in the first place: you didn't want people to think you were too weird), and then ser out to start swiping on guys.

Alex was 27 and he was the first guy you had matched with, except you couldn't figure out what to say.

Do you lead with the whole 'i need a date to best friends wedding so that all of my non-single friends could get off my back', or would that scare him off?

So, you decided to not say anything about it. While you weren't sure if he was the one, you didn't want to make him feel uncomfortable. Alex was average looking, with chesnut coloured hair that stuck straight up and he had dark brown eyes.

You know that you aren't looking for love, as most of the people on her are (well, not real love anyway). A fake boyfriend perhaps?

The point being, you didn't want to get too attached, because you aren't expecting anything.

Your eyes skim to Alex's message, and you try to decide if it deserves a reply.

I think your eyes are really pretty.

That's it? you think glumly. You'd always been a hopeless romantic, someone who believes in love at first sight (or, in this case, love at first swipe) and you feel somewhat let down when average Alex sends you an average message.

Then again, what did you expect, in all honesty? The perfect guy to send you the perfect message on the first try?

That's not likely to happen.

Thank you! You reply, and then you slightly regret it, because even though Rachel's wedding isn't until August, you really don't have time to waste, and you aren't sure that you want him to be your date.

Just give him a chance, Y/N. You're not agreeing to anything.

Plus, there's a small part of you that hopes you'll find something other than just a plus one to this wedding.

The next message Alex sends you is two days later, as you're sitting at your desk at work.

It's shortly after nine in the morning, and you're working on next weeks article for the fashion blog that you work for.

You forget about it until an hour and a half later when you're having your break.

Y/N, huh? Is that short for something? the message reads.

You laugh at first but then you stop when you realise that average Alex is serious, which prompts you to type back a no, Y/N isn't short for anything, only then wondering if you had been too harsh as you press end.

You spend the rest of your lunch break swiping on a few guys; it takes you a while to decide whether or not you'll swipe on them in the first place, because in order for this fake plus one thing to work, it has to be believable.

You aren't yet sure if you want Rachel to know that the way you are going to find a date to the wedding is through Tinder.

None of the guys that you swipe on match with you, but when you check your phone later that evening, you see that a few of them swiped right in the hours that you weren't looking at your phone.

One of them may even be the one you end up taking to the wedding, but neither of them know that yet.

-

Thank you so much for reading, I’m hoping you’ll continue to stick around 💓 next part will be 28/08/2024!

[nwjws]

while you were sleeping - pjs

; PAIRING - jay x gn!reader

; SYNOPSIS - in which you’ve had the same album on repeat, unable to get it out of your mind. just like how jay, your roommate, can’t seem to get you out of his.

; WC - 1.4k (minus the lyrics)

; TAGS - college roommates au, fluff, from jay's pov, based off laufey's 'while you were sleeping' ; WARNINGS - not proofread

i still can't believe that you noticed me

mindlessly scrolling on your phone, you patiently wait for your roommate, park jay, to finish cooking up some breakfast. a comfortable silence has settled between you two, with the only sounds being the sizzling oil on the pan and your humming.

"you've been listening to the same 14 songs for the past week."

"what?" you ask, looking up at him. you stare at his back, broad shoulders exposed by his tank top.

he turns his head to look back at you over his shoulder, raising a perfect eyebrow. you realise then what he's saying.

laufey had released a new album last week, and you literally haven't played any other song outside of it since it dropped. you can feel jay judging you, but you just shrug at him. you were definitely not stopping.

"so what if i've had bewitched on repeat? can you deny that they're good?" you challenged him.

"no, of course not," he chuckled to himself, turning back to the pan. "i'm just surprised you haven't gotten sick of it yet."

"i would never get sick of laufey," you say with mock offence.

"alright, then," he said with a teasing undertone.

you wanted to retort, but he placed a plate in front of you, making you forget what you were going to say.

"hey, you have a later clinical today, right?" he asked as you two dug in.

"mhm."

"take the box i left in the fridge with you before you go then. its some extra lunch i made so you'd have enough energy to get through the day."

"thank you," you say appreciatively. "you really don't have to do that every time i have a heavier day."

"well, if i have time to, then i don't see why i shouldn't."

"what about you? what are you doing today?"

"my professor cancelled class today, so i'll go check out if i can bother heeseung or jake."

"i'll pray for whichever victim you choose, then," you joke.

"maybe i won't make you extra lunch next time," he pouted playfully.

"no, no. those actually really help me. god knows if i didn't score you as my roommate, i would have passed out several times by now."

"grateful to be of service"

after breakfast, jay lounges around the apartment as you're getting ready. some show plays on the tv, but it doesn't drown out the sound of must be love playing from your speakers.

you shout your leaving when you exit the shared apartment, and jay wishes you a good day. he watches you close the door, leaving him completely alone.

i'll never forget the first time i saw you then

when he drives to the shopping centre with jake later that day, he pauses mid-sentence when he realises something.

"is everything good?" his friend asks.

"yeah, i just recognised the song playing."

"really? you listen to from the start by laufey?" jake asks. he had decided to connect his phone to jay's carplay, and had been in the one in control of the playlist.

"not really, but my roommate does."

"y/n? that's pretty cool. they've got good music taste," he replies.

"they've had her newest album on repeat since she dropped it," jay laughs, eyes on the road.

"do you find that annoying?"

"of course not, it's funny seeing them prance around the apartment, belting their heart out," he laughs at a memory of you singing at the top of your lungs. "i guess i'm more of a second-hand listener now? if that's even a thing."

"probably," jake shrugs.

a light pink bouquet, a promise you'll stay and i start to believe

the two had decided to eat out at wagamama's first, before anything else.

"i think i'll get the pad thai," tells the waitor, who nods and notes it on his ipad.

"hm, i'm feeling like trying the grilled chicken ramen," jay says. "oh, could i also get the miso mixed vegetable salad to-go?"

"sure," the waitor replies. he pockets the small device in his apron, and leaves for the kitchen.

"you ordered another meal?" the younger asks curiously.

"me and y/n go here often. of course, i had to get them something. usually, they'll go for the typical miso salad, or some curry, but they've decided they wanted to try being vegan recently. so i got the vegan one," jay explains nonchalantly.

"wow, you really care a lot about them, huh?"

"of course, we're sharing the rent, after all. have to be a good roommate, otherwise they'll leave and i'll have to pay the bills on my own."

"maybe i should get a roommate," jake chuckles. "but i don't think i'd be able to get someone like you."

"i'd feel sorry for whoever ends up with you," jay teases him. "and anyway, they're a good roommate. they do the laundry for the both of us, and we usually spend the weekends cleaning together."

"you guys are so lucky," is all jake says.

i don't recognise myself ; who've i become?

jake dragged jay into their third clothing shop that day, despite jay's protests. in self-defence, jake whines about needing some new shoes.

"don't you have like, thirty pairs? what could you possibly need another one for?"

"actually, i only have twenty-eight. and i need one for graduation, of course."

"right, because none of your almost-thirty pairs suffice," jay rolls his eyes.

"don't act like you dont have seventy pairs of the same polo shirt."

"i don't!"

"i've seen your closet, don't lie to me."

jay sighs and leaves jake to wander around the shop on his own.

"there you go again, buying another shirt," jake's voice sighs from behind jay fifteen minutes later.

"not for me," jay shakes his head. he turns to show the clothing piece to his friend. "for y/n. this is definitely their style, and it'll fit them so well. they have a pair of shoes that are this exact colour, so it would be good outfit if they sandwhich it with any bottom piece they choose."

"you think a lot about your roommate," jake raises his eyebrow at him.

"i see them all the time, why wouldn't i?" jay asks.

"no, like, you think too much about y/n considering you're 'only roommates'," he says with a quote gesture.

"stop suggesting weird things," jay walks ahead to the counter, leaving jake to follow behind.

"is it really so weird, though? if you like y/n like that?"

jay just ignores him, and pays for the shirt. it's not, he thinks to himself, because it's not a new thought either.

i trace it all back, 3:30 am that night something turned in my heart

"thank you, jay," you hug him when he shows you what he got. "you really need to stop buying me things."

"i can't help it," he smiles. "when i see something that reminds me of you, i just feel like i have to get it."

"with how often you buy me things, i'd say a lot of things remind you of me, huh?"

"seems like it..." he scratches his nape, awkwardly avoiding eye contact with you. thanks jake, he scowls in his mind. now he can't stop thinking about what he said earlier.

you and jay decide to watch a movie the next night, since it was a friday, and neither of you had to be up early the next day.

but jay couldn't focus on the tv when you two were basically cuddling under the shared blanket on the sofa. his skin prickled where his arm hung around your shoulder, and the weight of your head on his made him feel light and airy.

the warmth of your body seeped through your clothes, and brought him immense comfort. your sweet scent filled his nose, subconsciously recognising it to be one of the perfumes he'd bought you.

it was only when the movie ended he realised he hadn't been watching at all. and neither were you, if your light snores were any indication.

he huffed amusedly to himself, and shifted on the sofa to get you two in a more comfortable position, actually lying down. reaching for the remote, he carefully switched off the tv, leaving the only source of light to be a soft, warm yellow coming from a corner lamp.

jay stared at your features, illuminated by the dim light. he realised right then, in the comfort of your arms, far into the night, what he felt for you.

while you were sleeping, i fell in love.

; AUTHOR'S CORNER! do u guys ever feel like throwing up at your own work? ALSO THANK YOU FOR 200 this is my offer of thanks 🤭

; TAGLIST - @lovelovelovebts @miyseung @babyy-bambii

[cloudsmateria]

college roommate - leon kennedy x reader

nerdy!reader x leon kennedy

synopsis: you and leon have just started university, finding yourself in the same university visit, he comes and visits your dorm as he's been struggling in his classes. you kick it off, and you invite each other into your different, interesting lives.

words: like 4500

disclaimer: this isn't proof-read and i actually do need to proofread it and i will when i finish it, this also isn't finished. so if u don't wanna read it now and wanna come back to it when it's pristine and complete be my guest, the edit of this will be very edited like literally whole chunks of texts will be different, i just wanted to post something

content warning: kissing, bit of angst, slight smut/almost smut, sexual themes

A loud knock rings through your door, if it had come even a second later you wouldn’t have heard it at all as you were on a one-way path to passing out on top of your notes. 

“Come in.” You mumble, picking your head up off of the desk and watching as a dirt-blonde hunk of a boy you don’t recognise comes through. Maybe it’s one of the frat boys trying to get to know all the girls in his dorm house. 

“Hey. Can I ask a favour?”

“Who are you?”

"I'm Leon, I saw you in my engineering lecture the other day and you looked like you understood what was going on. Then I found out you were in my university building. So here, I am. Help. Please. I’m going to fail and we’re only 3 weeks in." His desperation makes you laugh, something you were shocked you could do in this dazed state after a mind-boggling 8 hours of completing work.

"Oh Leon, I'd love to but I think if I even think about that engineering class for another second right now I might actually drop down and die."

"It can wait, you busy right now? Other than you know, spilling drool all over your papers?”

“Yeah, I was just about to go spill some on my pillow too, I'm exhausted." You say, not entirely joking, and begin to gather your things.

“I get it.”

“We have another engineering lecture tomorrow anyway so you can just catch me then."

"You sure, though? I mean I'm already here." He shrugs and picks up a book from her bookshelf. "How do you read any of these? There are no pictures." You laugh again. 

"You're asking me how I read physics books when you take engineering… Are you sure you picked the right course? You know, you can read it if you want, and would probably benefit from it. If you can even read."

"No thanks, I'll just get you to teach it to me tomrrow. I’ll see you in a bit, Einstein.” 

"You should watch what you call me if you want me to tutor you, that’s usually not free."

"Oh, but the thing is I don't think you're actually going to make me pay for anything. You're too nice for that."

"That's a very bold statement to make to a stranger."

"You'll come round eventually."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever."

"Can I just ask you another question? I'm not going to stop annoying you until you answer it the way I want you to."

"Go on." You sigh.

"Have you eaten today? Cause I haven't and I'm hungry."

"Leon-"

"Please."

"Okay, okay, God, you're persistent. Gonna give me a headache." You groan and sit up.

"It’s worth it, you'll need me to keep you sane later in the year."

"Oh really? You think we’re gonna stay friends that long?"

"I know you've got your nerdy brain, but I've been told I have a great personality." You can't tell if he's implying something with that disgustingly stupid joke or if he really is just an idiot. To be fair, he's funny and managed to pull you out your the room you had been hibernating in for the past few days to get ahead of work. You suppose there are worse people you could be forced to talk to.

"Whatever. Just get out of here." You push him towards the door.

"You're not going to eat with me?" You roll your eyes and lock the door, getting dressed into something that wasn't your pyjamas.

…

Now here you were, eating outside with this boy from your lectures when you had just wanted to be at home sleeping. Although it was nicer than you thought it would be, he had insisted on buying you an energy drink to keep your eyes open as you were eating in some random burger shop.

"How come you're struggling?" 

"Been going to too many parties, I've got different priorities."

"..."

"What?" He says defensively.

"Don't make me slap you. You can't be stupid because you got into this university, you're wasting your potential."

"I am not!"

"You're struggling! We're only 3 weeks in! I mean, come on, Leon."

"I don't understand what your problem is, maybe you need to live a little."

"That is rich coming from you. You're going to peak in college and fuck up the rest of your life if you ruin your chance now. And I live fine right now, I go out often enough and put the rest of my time toward my course, like a responsible human being."

"So you're boring?"

"So you're an idiot and can't plan for the future?"

"No, I'm not." He smirks. "And also, I never said I couldn't plan for the future, just that it isn't the only thing I want to focus on."

"Okay, fine, that's it. This is your problem, I'm not tutoring you."

"Got under your skin?" He smiles.

"I'm serious. You're smart if you got into this school, but you're wasting your talent partying and sleeping around."

“You’ve only known me for 20 minutes and you’ve managed to start an argument.”

“I just don’t want to waste my time. If you want me to help with assignments you need to make an effort, and if you want to be my friend, you’re also going to need to make an effort because I’m not going to care about someone who can’t even care about themselves.”

"I care about myself. Why else would I come to you for help on this?"

"Because you can't do it yourself and your friends are too stupid to ask them for help."

"No... Well... Okay fine, yeah that sounds pretty accurate. But in all honesty, I do care about my grade, that's why I'm coming to you. Now you know my intentions, I beg talk about something else, this entire conversation is reminding me of my mom."

"Like what?"

"Like, there's a party next Saturday, and I think you should come with me. You’re pretty entertaining."

"Oh, Leon. You're so clueless, it's pitiful."

"You have to go to the party, it will be fun."

"I have been to parties, I've gone to 2 since the start of the semester. But we have assignments to work on this week."

"One more little party isn't going to kill you. It'll be good, and then we can do the work."

"That's a very backward mindset." 

"You'll thank me, trust me."

"You say the reason you’re struggling is because you’re going to many parties, and immediately proceed to invite me to a party." You shake your head and laugh. “You are something else.”

“So are you coming?”

“I’ll think about it.”

… 

You and Leon had been going to the lectures together ever since, having lunch at points when he wasn’t hoarded by his friends and even managing a few study sessions into his schedule. You came 5 minutes early for the engineering lecture the next day. Flipping through the textbook notes to top up on your pre-reading beforehand, you had right at the back as Leon begged you to over text the previous night to sit there rather than the front so he’d feel comfortable sitting next to you. It doesn't take long for people to start filtering in, and eventually, that blonde-headed boy pops up next to you, leaning his head on your shoulder immediately. 

"Didn't get enough sleep last night." He mutters.

"Up studying?"

"You know me so well." 

“I'm not even going to ask what you were doing." You sigh, fully believing he had either gone clubbing or to another party last night.

"I promise you, I was studying. And you can ask me all the questions you want, I'll try my best to answer. I did go a little off track and I'm not doing well at it but your inspirational speech convinced me to try a bit."

"Really?" You ask excitedly, looking down at him. "Leon, that's great!" You feel his cheeks crease into a smile against your shoulder at your enthusiasm.

"You're more excited about it than I am, that's cute." He chuckles. "Keep talking, my head hurts, your voice helps."

"The lecture starts soon."

"Don't care." 

"I’m not going to talk over the lecturer." You say, flicking his forehead.

"It's just a lot, okay? I'm trying my best, but I might have reached my full capacity last night." He sits up and sighs, rubbing his temples.

“Welcome to university."

"Yeah, whatever. Can we go back to your room after?"

"Sure."

"Thank you."

"Of course." 

The professor finally steps into the lecture hall, and everyone quiets down, preparing for the lesson.

Halfway through, Leon couldn't help but pass out on you again. Your body went rigid, trying to make sure his head wouldn't fall off your shoulder. You pick the paper off of his desk, dragging it toward you as you start to write notes on your own and his paper so he won't miss out on anything.

He's surprisingly cute when he's not cracking annoying jokes and snapping back with snarky remarks. He was even making you lose track of the lecture a bit.

After class, you wake him up and walk him back to your dorm with him, chatting and catching him up on what he missed briefly. When you think about it, you're surprised you only met him yesterday. He feels like someone you've known since secondary school, or maybe he just treats everyone this way. Either way, you wouldn't complain about spending time with him.

"So, we're alone. What do we do?"

"Study?" You say, throwing him a pencil and paper. "Don't ask me stupid questions like that again."

"Come on, we just got out of an hour lecture, we basically already studied."

"A lecture that you slept for half of-"

"And that you caught me up on after."

"We need to make up the time. Now come on, let's work."

"But-"

"Now, Leon."

"Ugh."

…

The next hour wasn't as bad as you had expected it to be, you could still get your work done while simultaneously teaching Leon that content he missed out on. His demeanour quickly became enthusiastic when he saw how proud you were when you understood a concept, and you were genuinely impressed, he caught onto things quickly. After an hour, you both took a break sitting on your bed, him replying to some messages on his phone.

"Hey." You say, poking his arm to draw his attention.

"What?"

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"Making the effort to try, even if it is just a little bit."

"You're definitely making more effort than me." He smiles, leaning his head on your shoulder again.

"If you want to sleep you should just go home, you must be exhausted."

"I'm not leaving you in this depressing room, I'm keeping you company."

"I’m not keeping you from anything? Your phone was blowing up a second ago I assume you have somewhere to be."

"They can wait, I want to stay around for a bit longer. I like the change for once."

"Change?"

"It's quiet, I can think for once. You’re different from the people I’m around smart and stubborn,”

“So you’re aware of the poor choice of people you hang around, you had me fooled for a while.”

“Wait I’m not done, and even after all of that, I can tell that you're a little shy which is adorable. Oh, and my favourite part is how easy you are to annoy."

"I am not."

"You're blushing right now, I can feel your cheek getting hot. Adorable."

"Don’t you even close your mouth?"

"You know I can't, come on, it's not like you mind."

"Oh my god."

"Admit it, I'm fun to be around."

"Yeah, yeah."

"Tell me what you think of me."

"What?"

"Tell me, come on. Please, I'm dying for validation."

"Well. You're nice, and I've never seen you without a smile on your face, it's refreshing.”

“A little more… I know you got it in you.”

“You're not as stupid as you make yourself out to be,. And I honestly can't tell if I'm special or if you treat everyone else this way because you make me feel way more important than I really would be for someone like you."

"You're special, trust me. And that's a stupid question to ask. Do you want a list of the people I've met? The people I’ve made friends with?"

"What?"

"I can count on one hand the real people I've managed to keep around and one of those is my dog. Don't worry about that, because I know you’re gonna be on that list too. I know you think that I have so many friends and I'm surrounded by people all the time, but they're all fake. They're just fun for parties and clubbing when you have nothing else to do."

"But-"

"It's true." He looks at you, his expression becoming serious for the first time since you've met him. "And I've got to tell you, you're different."

"Different?"

"Yeah, you're interesting. You're not fake, and you're actually doing something with your life."

"I wouldn't be too sure about that, I think you’ve just surrounded yourself with one particular type of person, and now you’re shocked when you meet someone who’s not an idiot."

"Come on, I've seen the work you've done in these past 24 hours. You were working for at least 25 of them.” 

"You know how to flatter me."

"That's another reason why you should hang out with me more."

"Oh, and why's that?"

"I'm not afraid to admit how much I like you, Einstein. Makes you feel good, doesn’t it?"

"I can't even think about what I should say to that." You say, laughing and burying your head in your hands. "God, you're a mess."

“I suppose, yeah. You’re changing that though.” He lifts your chin up to face him, smiling at your red cheeks. “See? So cute.”

"Why do you have to keep saying things like that?"

"Because you react this way." He grins.

"I hate you."

"Let me ask you something again. Are you going to go to the party on Saturday?"

"I don’t think so."

“Since I’ve got the chance, I think I can change your mind.” He smiles and pulls your face a little closer, close enough for him to feel your shallow breaths against his lips.

"I-" You can't find any words, you're stunned. He's gorgeous, and you can't deny that, but the idea of kissing him feels wrong, you can't do it. Not right now. The thought of getting with someone you're starting to have feelings for is setting off alarm bells, the alarm bells imprinted by your bad experiences from secondary school of guys playing with your emotions. No matter how much your heart is screaming you want to, your mind is screaming no. 

"You're gonna go with me right?" He whispers.

"Okay." You say hoarsely, your legs desperately pressed together.

"Good girl." He smiles, getting up and putting his shoes on. "I'll see you on Saturday." He says, before leaving.

"I'm screwed." You mutter.

… 

Saturday finally rolled around. You weren't even sure how much time you spent with Leon the day before, but you knew you wanted more.  This was starting to become a concern for you. You remember last year, when you were hurt so bad you pledged to never fall for someone again. You can't do this, not with him. You know Leon is exactly that kind of guy, he’s charming, an athlete, with too many friends for his own good, someone who has no reason to be associated with you unless he wanted something, and was patient when it came to getting it. 

And yet, here you were, wearing a simple little black dress and the heels Leon said would match. You pray that the feelings are cut off here, hopefully he sees you as just a friend and just likes to tease. But a little part of you has a sliver of hope that maybe this is real.

Leon came to pick you up from your room, as he was only a floor away. When you opened the door you were met with Leon dressed in a black bottom down with the top two buttons undone and the sleeves rolled up which definitely made you feel some kind of way.

"Leon, hi." You say, overly aware of the fabric hugging your skin, you rarely wore tight clothes. 

"Wow." His eyes were stuck to everything that wasn't your face.

"Hey! My eyes are on my face, not my chest."

"I know."

"Leon!"

"Just admiring the view." You ended up crossing your arms to try and hide a bit of your figure.

"Can you stop looking?"

"You look great, don't worry." He says.

"Whatever."

"No, I'm serious. I mean it, you look amazing. Just relax and have fun, okay?"  He puts his arm around your waist, pulling you close. "You look hot. And it's only going to get better. Just try to have a good time, I'll be by your side the whole time.”

"I've been to a party before, you don't need to baby me."

"I know it’s just this one is a big one. They always end in a mess. I've had a couple of close calls with the police."

"That's not what I'm worried about." I'm worried about what I might end up doing with you, she thinks.

"Just tell me if anything makes you uncomfortable and we can go." He smiles and leads you out of the dorm building and into the street.

"How far is it?"

"Only a few minutes away." He says, leading you along the sidewalk.

The walk wasn't too far, it was about 20 minutes of you both drinking from a wine bottle for some pre-game. Time seemed to fly by as you came to the house. Whoever was hosting this party, probably one of Leon's friends no doubt, was rich. The house was huge and the whole thing was vibrating with the music that blasted through it.

"We're here."

"I think it’s going to collapse.."

"Wait until you see inside." He grabs your hand and drags you in, the house packed. You didn't recognise anyone and felt a little intimidated as Leon led you through the crowd of people, pushing them aside. You couldn't believe there were this many students in the town.

He stops at the kitchen, handing you a drink. You hadn't gone to a party this big before, and that was voluntary, this was just too much. You drink it in one to hopefully get you drunk enough to gain a bit of confidence and hand it back to Leon for it to get refilled.

"I didn't know there were this many people here."

"There's usually a lot." He smiles, handing her another drink. "Don't worry, I'll be with you the whole night. You take a shot before starting to sip on the more tame drink Leon had gotten. 

"What do you want to do first?"

"Let’s go find some of my friends.He says, taking your hand and dragging you through the sea of people, most likely dancing, grinding, or drinking.

He pulls you into the living room, finding his friends from one of the lectures and joining in on their conversation. You're introduced and you talk with them, they're all quite funny and sweet. You were happy to have found a fun little group.

The rest of the night is spent with them, the five of you getting progressively drunker and drunker and talking about more and more stupid shit before someone suggests the group should go and dance, you immediately go and hide behind Leon. 

"Dancing is definitely not my thing." You whisper.

"You have to come."

"No way."

"Please." He says, looking into your eyes.

"Why?"

"I want you to."

"Leon."

"If you hate it, I'll make it up to you. Please." He whispers, and you sigh, giving in. "I know you'll enjoy it." He smiles and leads her by the hand into the living room where everyone is.

"Everyone's too drunk to be paying any attention anyway." He says, and the group joins in on the dance. 

After a few more drinks the alcohol started to hit.

"Isn't so bad, is it?" He says after the first few minutes, watching you find your rhythm.

"No, it's fun."

"See, told you."

"Don't let it go to your head, I'm just drunk."

He smiles, spinning you so your back is pressed against his, the two of you continue to dance. He leans down and kisses your shoulder, wrapping his arms around your waist and grinding into you.

"Leon-"

"It's hard to control myself with you, almost kissed you that time I convinced you to come to this party, could tell you weren’t sure though."

"Because I thought we were just friends."

"That never lasts long, does it? Did you really think it was going to stay that way forever?" He says, running his hand down your thigh.

"We're drunk." You mumble, leaning your head back onto his shoulder. God, you wanted it. You were trying with everything you had to rationalise with yourself. He knew what he was doing.

"That doesn't change the fact that you're irresistible. And that's not the alcohol talking. I've been wanting to do this for a while."

 He smirks, spinning her back around to face him and lifting you up, your legs wrapping around his waist.

"Let's go upstairs,"

"Leon-"

"Shh." He puts a finger over her lips and leads her away, finding the stairs and walking up. “Stop doubting yourself. One thing about you is that you always say no, or doubt yourself, let’s change that for once.”

He takes you to the first room he finds, happening to be a bathroom, opening the door and stepping in, kicking it closed and locking it. He sets you down and starts to kiss you, the alcohol making it a lot more forceful than usual. You kiss back, letting him guide you and set the pace, his hands sliding over her body. 

"You're so fucking beautiful." He mutters, his lips trailing down to your neck. You feel the pressure of his hands pushing you backwards. Your back hits the counter, he lifts you up and settles himself between your thighs.

"Leon-"

"Yeah?"

"Are you sure? About me?"

"Yes." He smiles, lifting his head. "Now stop doubting yourself, will you? You're too perfect for that." If you were sober, your mind would've had red lights blaring, trying to protect you, but the alcohol flattened out all thoughts. A hint of doubt crossed your mind instinctually. But his touch is so good, and he's making you feel things that you haven't in a long time.

"I-"

"Come on, tell me how much you want me."

"I really like you, Leon. It's just...I have this feeling that I'll get hurt."

"What are you so afraid of? What can I do to change your mind?" He whispers. "I'll do anything for you." He says, pulling your head down to kiss him. The sweet nothings bring back some bad memories, it's starting to feel a bit like deja vu.

"I've been hurt before, Leon."

"What's his name? I'll kick his ass."

"It was in high school, but it happened too many times."

"You have to stop thinking, just focus on me, okay?"

"Leon."

"Come on." He sighs, pressing a finger to your lips. "I won't let anything bad happen to you. I don't want to lose something because someone in your past ruined everything for you, okay?"

"I don't know."

He sighs. "Do you wanna head home ?"

"I'm sorry."

"I'm not upset. Come on, I'll take you back."

"I didn't mean to ruin the night."

"No, I'm not letting you leave thinking you ruined it. I'm sure a million more parties are happening this week if you feel so bad."

"I'm a mess, Leon. Why do you even like me? I'm not worth it."

"Of course you are." He says, cupping your cheek."You're the only person I can stand to be around for hours while sober. And you can't argue with that."

"Okay."

"I'll get us out of here and you can crash in my room."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. Now come on, we're leaving." 

...

The taxi ride home was short and sweet,  but still awkward. You were scared he'd be mad at you for ending the night so abruptly, but when you got into the room he made sure to put his arm around you, whispering reassurement into your ear, stroking your hair.

"You don't have to worry. I'm not angry."

"Really?"

"I don't blame you for wanting to wait."

"It's just, the last time-"

"I'm not him, you can trust me. I've been trying to prove that to you."

"I think... Maybe I can learn to trust you."

"You will, eventually." He says, holding his arms open, gesturing for her to cuddle with him.

"Thank you."

"Anytime."

You cuddle him for a bit, the silence being cut by the sound of the two of you breathing. Leon leans down to kiss capture your lips softly, it feels a lot easier to kiss him back, pressing your body against him.

"I don't know why anyone would ever hurt you." He whispers between kisses. "You're perfect." He runs his fingers through your hair.

"I don't know about that."

"I don't know why you doubt yourself either. Go to sleep, you'll feel better in the morning."

[woso-dreamzzz]

Bully

Hardersson x Teen!Reader

*Homophobic slurs*

Summary: Violence isn't always the answer

To be honest, you could barely remember the incident.

All you could hear were the taunts in your ears, the pulling on your school blazer and then suddenly they were on the ground and your knuckles were split.

They glared at you from across the hallway, both of you sitting on the floor outside of the headmistress' office.

An icepack was pressed to your jaw and a matching one was on his eyebrow.

He had gotten up quickly after you hit him, slamming his own fist against you until you were both snarling and grappling with each other in the corridor.

You glared back at him, lips curled back in a sneer quickly wiped off your face when you saw exactly who you were trying to avoid stalking down the hallway.

Selfishly, you thought that neither of your mothers would get the call, that being at practice meant they wouldn't be as attached to their phones. But, no such luck and you pulled your hood up over your head to hide away.

You couldn't meet their eyes as they came to a stop just in front of you. The boy's parents were there too.

"Of course," He said scornfully," A dyk-"

You surged up from the ground, intent on swinging at him again but Morsa caught your raised arm in her hand and gave you a stern look. You melted under the weight of it and tore your arm away.

"Ah," The headmistress said, opening her office door," You're all here. Why don't we step inside and get this sorted out?"

You slumped in your seat, squished between your Momma and Morsa. They were still in their training kits, probably having skipped out during lunch when they got the call.

"I don't see what there is to sort out," The boy said arrogantly and you instantly felt bad for his parents, who looked extremely embarrassed at being here in the first place," She hit me. I protected myself."

"Don't act like it wasn't provoked!" You snapped.

Momma grabbed at your wrist and sent you a look of warning.

"It was just a joke!" The boy defended," It's not my fault that there's no banter in whatever Russian city you're from!"

"I'm not Russian!"

He scoffed. "Like it matters."

You glared again and Momma tightened her grip on you.

The headmistress sighed deeply, rubbing at her temples. "Jason," She said," This is the third time this week that you've been in my office over a 'joke'. What was it this time?"

He remained silent.

She turned to you.

"I'm not excusing your violence but it would be best if you came clean about what happened, if he provoked you like you said."

"You calling me a liar?"

"y/n," Morsa said sternly and you recognised the tone as 'come-clean-or-you'll-be-in-even-more-trouble'.

"He's been calling me a dyke ever since I transferred," You said in a huff, staring at the stupid motivational poster behind the headmistress' head," And he makes fun of my mums all the time. He..."

Momma's fingers stroked over your bruised knuckles. "Go on."

"He asked me if it was safe to have a dyke like me in the changing rooms with the other girls." Tears stung in your eyes but you refused to let them fall. "So I hit him."

"Liar!" He slammed his fist onto the headteacher's desk.

"Jason!" His mother shrieked. It looked, at least, that she didn't agree with his words. "What have I told you about using that foul language?!"

While they argued, your Morsa turned to look at you. You couldn't read her expression. She just stared down at you, slumped in your seat and unwilling to make proper eye contact.

"You hit him?"

"You know I hit him."

"Hard?"

"Yeah..."

She nodded. "Good."

"Magda!" Momma snapped," Don't encourage her!"

"Right, yeah." Morsa was silent for a moment. "Er...Don't do it again. Violence isn't the answer..." She glared at him from the corner of her eye. "Even if it's against homophobic little brats."

"Magda," Momma hissed again," I mean it."

With both families squabbling, your headteacher sighed deeply before getting everyone's attention again.

"Listen," She said," Honestly, something like this rarely happens here. Miss Harder, Miss Eriksson, truly, I'm sorry that these kinds of words have been thrown at your daughter so frequently but you must know that I can't have violence like this in my halls."

"Of course," Momma said," We understand."

"But, y/n clearly has been harassed so I think an exclusion for the rest of the week will suffice. Jason, as for you, I'm not too sure that there's a future for you in my school."

"What?! Come on!"

"Miss Harder, Miss Eriksson, I believe that our business is done for the day. y/n can return on Monday morning."

"Thank you," Momma said, standing up and pulling you along with her," This won't happen again."

The car ride home was a bit tense and every time you looked up, you made an uncomfortable amount of eye contact with Momma in the rearview mirror.

"Go to your room," She said as soon as you pulled up to the house.

"Momma-"

"Your room. Now."

You hurried off, ignoring the sympathetic look Morsa gave you as you shoved past her. There wasn't much to do in your room, especially when Momma had confiscated your phone as soon as you got into the car.

You could do nothing but stare up at the ceiling and flex your aching hand.

"I'm not sorry," You said as the door opened," He deserved it."

Momma stood in your doorway, arms crossed over her chest. "What you did..." She took a deep breath. "Was irresponsible and stupid. Why didn't you just tell a teacher?"

"I did!" You snapped," The first time it happened! They didn't do anything!"

"y/n-"

"No! I know that I shouldn't have hit him but I don't regret it! He had it coming!"

She crossed the room and perched on the edge of your bed. "I don't doubt that. But it was still a silly thing to do. You said that this has been going on for a while. Why didn't you tell one of us?"

You rolled your eyes. "Does it really matter? It...We'd just moved. It didn't seem as worrying as you're trying to make it out to be. It's done. It's over. Can we just skip to the part where you yell at me?"

There was silence for matter before Momma spoke again," I'm not going to yell at you. I...I just wish you'd handled it in a different way."

"But?"

"But I'm glad that you showed everyone not to mess with you." She said the words almost like she was embarrassed to admit them. "I don't think anyone will be bothering you for a long time."

You sat up and grinned.

"Don't get cocky," Momma warned you," You're not grounded or anything but every day you're off school, you'll have chores to do."

"I can do my chores," You said brightly.

She rolled her eyes and took your hand, pulling you up and off your bed. "Come on. Morsa's got some ice for your jaw and fist. Next time, aim for the nose."

[angermango]

"I'm not cooking or anything, this is just a silly idea- (looks down at canvas) ffffuuuu--"

...

so, first I only wanted to draw Professor Layton with a Reiterpallasch from Bloodborne because haha funny hat man with gun-sword, but then i ended up drafting concept art for "Laytonborne", apparently.

"Puzzles all over the shop... You'll be stuck on one of them, sooner or later."

extra artist commentary:

Layton

yes, this really did just start with me wanting to give Layton a Reiterpallasch because he's a canonical fencer and Bloodborne trick weapons absolutely slap. The Reiterpallasch is literally a rapier with a pistol attached that can mechanically switch to prime either the blade first or the gun first so you can stab and shoot someone at the same time.

Giving Hershel the Bloodborne makeover was kind of funny because he wears such a simple look in canon it was hard striking the right balance between his recognisable look and BB aestheic since Bloodborne loves embellishment especially via lots of belts/buckles and those weird shoulder-cape things. I tried to keep it simple enough though because as much as i think he could pull off a hunter ensemble i don't want to have to keep track of all the funky bits. the Top Hat Stays, of course.

Aurora

Aurora is eerily good a fit in a Soulsborne-esque setting considering she fits the criteria for a "Soulsborne maiden" classic archetype sort of character: After all she's a mysterious pale-haired young woman with mystical origins/powers and a foreign-sounding accent and may or may not have some connection to the wider lore and powers that be of the setting. hell even her whole thing being a golem works in a way as even Bloodborne has artificial humans existing as a concept.

i got a little lazy with changing up her dress for both time and lack of inspiration. I thought maybe i'd really do her up but then I chickened out that her costume wouldn't be recognisable any more so just slapped a belt and some patterns on the shawl bit and called it a night :P (if i'd been braver/more motivated she'd probably look good in an approximation of the White Church set, something like that)

and yeah so as the sketches off to the side are like, no real clue how/why it might be triggered but imagine her having the potential to be an optional boss or something (and she'd whoop your ass)

Flora

idk tho Flora also seems like she could be a good contender for the "Soulsborne maiden" position too in a way, or even if not her whole character and story fits into the world quite well. especially with Bloodborne having the Plain Doll who is a sentient doll made in the image of someone her creator loved/was obsessed with and Flora living in a village of human-like robots which started after her father tried to build a replacement for her dead mother.

Her dress is a combination of all her canon costumes across the games. The fur-trim shoulder cape is from one official art of her, the short shawl and white sleeves and bit around her waist is based on her first dress, and the rest of the dress design is based on her second and third game appearance.

The 'Doll Flora' concept there at the end is just some idea of a false/clone Flora running around as well. She's got some little differences including elements of other parts of Flora's designs over the years that aren't on OG Flora, such as the sash and shoes.

Anton

Anton fits in scarily well to the Bloodborne-y setting, perhaps not too surprisingly given the whole 'vampire' thingy. I sort of envision Folsense and Herzen Castle being a bit like the Castle Cainhurst area of Bloodborne which leans more into the classic gothic horror of a remote and looming haunted castle occupied by a sinister enigmatic character.

And yes, that is a reference to the infamous "LAYTOOON" scream from his canon 'boss fight' in the second game - imagine the whole steaming up and screaming thing being like his boss phase transition animation.

The whole 'withers to an old man/husk' concept seems so very Soulsborne-y it really just fits yknow. like if you defeat him he shrivels up/ages to dust or whatever. RIP gassed-up grandpa.

I partly rizzed up his suit using inspiration of the Cainhurst Knight set because like. come on. it's too good to pass up the chance to pretty up with and looks a lot like his canon suit in parts.

Did I trace the foyer background art for Herzen Castle for the mockup just for laffs, only to realise partway that 1) Layton and Anton actually fought in the ballroom, and 2) the ballroom would actually make a much better boss arena setting because it's wide open and the arch from the front room leading into the ballroom could totally be the 'boss fog door' part better than the front room?

...so yeah I then drew the ballroom background without tracing this time like a true madman and had a hell of a time with perspective but the plus side is we also get the sword collection from the game there as a cameo because in Laytonborne the good professor brought his own already.

The Masked Gentleman / Randall

Had a bit of a time deciding how to Bloodborne-ify this guy because his suit in canon is actually really. really boring. it's just a white suit like cmon. so to give it that Bloodborne makeover I fell back on the classic shoulder-cape thing that almost all Bloodborne characters have, added some patterns and accessories based on the Mask of Chaos' patterns and the Decorative Old Hunter's set from the Old Hunters DLC (in the leg brace, forearm guard and the hints of gold chains around the upper arms).

He also gets a Threaded Cane, another trick weapon of Bloodborne fame which is as it suggests: A cane weapon that works a bit like a baton/sword combo but in its alternate form it's a whip covered in serrated metal blades which form the cane itself when locked together.

It seems very appropriate for Randall to be like a boss who starts out as the Masked Gentleman and then at half-or-less health you break his mask, reveal Randall and then wings burst out of his back as he enters his second phase rage mode. This concept part felt more DSouls-y than Bloodborne-y to me i think since Bloodborne is less fantastical and leans more into the body horror/monstrous kind of boss transitions? But at the same time it was too good an opportunity to pass on at least sketching out, plus get you some sick fallen angel imagery out of it.

Also the hanging arm pose miiight be a bit inspired by Artorias of the Abyss. just a bit.

Descole

i recall seeing a post somewhere once with this very low-res rare art of Descole sitting in a throne from somewhere i have no idea what it was for. and I remember it kinda reminded me of Lady Maria's promotional art for the Old Hunters DLC so that's why the last picture of Descole exists.

mf already dresses so extra i legit could think of nothing to add to make him more Bloodborne-y unlike the others. I also used his canon sword's design from the games with a custom sheath because again couldn't really think of anything more to do to make him fit more when he's already got a cool signature weapon to show off.

[ravenelyx]

Apple Of My Eye - Sebastian Sallow

Pairing: Sebastian Sallow x Fem!Reader

Word count: 1k

Warnings: Fluff, headaches, Sebastian is concerned in true Sebastian-fashion

Summary: You've been getting headaches for a while - far too long for Sebastian’s comfort, and he can't help but worry.

A/N: another indulgent work - enjoy <3

Masterlist

You can find the full fanfic on ao3 as well <3

Ominis' version

Sebastian was positively, utterly, completely freaking out.

Sitting on the couch in the Common Room, he stared at the fireplace musingly, his hand tapping rhythmically on the armrest. He was pretty sure Ominis was on the verge of grabbing that hand and severing it from his wrist if he didn't stop soon.

He didn't care.

The only thought swirling in his mind was her — and how, just a few minutes before they had parted ways, she had pressed two fingers on her forehead, wincing slightly.

Sebastian couldn't stand it anymore.

He had spent the past two weeks with her, studying together for their upcoming N.E.W.T.s, carrying her books around, soothing her with small kisses whenever she began to rub her tired eyes, and watching helplessly as she took painkillers after painkillers. He had tried to reason with her and tell her that taking so many potions everyday wouldn't be good for her health in the long run, but she wouldn't have it, insisting that she was fine. It broke his heart.

"Sebastian, if you don't mind, can you still your hand or have you suddenly caught that one muggle disease that won't let you stop moving?" He heard Ominis' sarcastic voice next to him, and it snapped him from his thoughts.

"Perhaps I did catch that," the brunet grunted back.

Sebastian's movements didn't cease as his friend dearly wished, and the blond only sighed tiredly, muttering a few curses under his breath as he stood up.

"Well then, I hope you recover soon," the boy snarked sarcastically and walked away.

Sebastian's eyes didn't move from the fireplace, his skin tingling with the impelling need to find her again and drag her to the bloody Hospital Wing to make her better. Whatever her problem was, he would find a solution to it, even if he had to swim to the moon and back for a mere hint.

"Screw it!" He suddenly muttered, jumping up and storming out of the Common Room, not caring that curfew was near and he would probably get them both into trouble.

"Come with me," he declared once he saw her, ignoring the usual good manners and, above all, saccharine talk he only reserved for her.

"Sebastian?" She asked, surprised at both his presence and his unusually harsh tone. "Is there something wrong?"

"Don't act like you don't know," he spat, and she flinched for a second, before registering the subtle, underlying worry in his tone.

"Is this about my headaches again?" She crossed her arms and shifted her weight on one leg. "I already told you, I'm fi–"

"Don't you dare," he interrupted, walking closer to her and placing his hands on her arms. Given his tone and the words he had just spoken, she had expected him to grab her and drag her to the Hospital Wing rather harshly. But his hands were soft, his touch gentle as he guided her closer to his body. "Tell me the truth. Why? Why do you get them so often?"

Her eyes softened at the distress in his gaze, and she lifted her hands to cup his cheeks.

"It's just my eyes, Sebastian. I… I think I've been studying too much, and my eyes are always tired," she sighed, tracing circles on his cheeks with her thumbs.

"But how do you know it's about your eyes? It could be something else," he retorted, shifting even closer, the concern unwavering in his eyes.

"I feel it. I recognise the pain," she explained. "It's directly behind my eyes, and it increases the more I use them."

"Then close them," he pointed out, and placed his palm on her eyes to cover them like a blindfold.

She laughed and gently moved his hand away. "Look, I'll stop taking so many potions if that's what worries you–"

"But then you'll be in pain," he protested, interwining his fingers with hers. "I'm sure there is a way to kill two birds with one stone."

She bit the inside of her cheek, her eyes slightly twitching every now and then when the brightness of the torches around them felt overwhelming. He noticed and moved his body to shield her from the light.

"Sleep," she mumbled. "Going to sleep helps… but it has to be a deep sleep, not like a slumber, more like — from a nap upwards, in a scale of sleep…"

His eyes fleeted over her face and then moved to the ceiling, as if expecting the old stone to morph into a pyramid scheme of resting protocol.

"Then let's go to sleep."

"Wha–" she had no time to protest as he tightened his grip on her hand and began to guide her to his Common Room.

"Sebastian, wait–"

But it was no use: he walked all the way to the dungeons, making sure she would follow as his hand never left hers, and then through the door once they reached the entrance.

Her eyes widened once he aimed for the stairs of the boys' dormitory.

"Sebastian, I can't go in there, I–"

"You can and you will," he cut her words. "The stairs allow you to."

She bit her lip. "B-but–"

"You'll sleep. And I'll make sure of it," he pulled her closer, placing his palm on the small of her back once they reached the landing of his dorm and gently pushing her to the door, not stopping until they reached the bed.

He obviously gave her privacy as she changed — despite her having to wear his clothes to sleep as the suddenness of the situation made her completely unequipped — and then joined her once she was safe under the covers.

"Never hide from me again," he whispered, pressing two fingers on her forehead to rub soothing circles.

She only nodded, and he wrapped his arms around her, making sure she was comfortable as she rested her head in the curve of his shoulder.

He kept his touch light and soothing on her scalp and back until her breath evened and became soft and heavy.

"You'll feel so much better soon," he kissed her forehead, and joined her in sleep.

[loveandmurders]

The Sun of Ambrose III (Lost Sinclair!Daughter AU)

Hi everybody, this is the third part of a new Sinclair!daughter AU in which the reader is Bo's daughter and she has been taken away and adopted by a new family. You can find part I here and part II here.

Hope you'll enjoy! <3

Warnings: no proof reading, mentions of suicide and death, mentions of potential abuses, murderous!reader

You found where you thought Ambrose was on a map and you showed it to your dad. You told him about the House of Wax advertisements on the roads too. 

And he left, while you spent time with your mother. 

You couldn’t focus on what she was telling you because you were giddy, like when you were a small child. Giddy, like when you were waiting for your father to come back home so you could greet him by jumping into his embrace. For the first time in years, you were hopeful, you were almost happy. Everything was going to be alright very soon.

After an hour or so, your adoptive father phoned your mother. He said he found Ambrose and found your biological father. He said Bo Sinclair seemed to be quite a decent man, even if the town was quite strange. And more importantly, Bo Sinclair was more than eager to meet his daughter. ASAP. Your mother convinced your father to come back to the hotel so they could have a little chat. Your father agreed and left Ambrose without troubles. He had no idea he was the first man, estranged to the Sinclairs, who had ever been able to leave Ambrose alive since Ambrose became a dangerous ghost town. 

Your adoptive dad was a little bit scared his daughter would pick another father over him, but at the same time he hoped you would know who was loving you the most and the best. He was certain that Bo, even if he was being polite for the moment, probably did something terrible for your biological mother to kill herself like she did. He thought you might remember the abuses you went through and you would understand you needed to cut the Sinclairs from your life… forever.

On the other hand, Bo was losing it with hope and relief. His baby girl was alive. His baby girl was on her way back home. Everything was finally going to be alright again. He wasn’t too sure how he was going to explain to you about the murders and the truth behind the House of Wax, but he was certain you would understand. You weren’t going to be afraid of him, because to you he wasn’t a monster, he was your father. And he loved you more than everything, even more than his dead mother who never loved him back.

Bo had given to your adoptive father a phone number so your parents could call him whenever you all would be ready to come to Ambrose. Bo had invited your parents and yourself for a little family dinner with both your uncles as well. Bo was ready to do absolutely anything to get you back. He had begged both the Devil and God so much for this day to finally come, for his daughter to finally be back home, where she belonged. 

Even if you were a little bit disappointed, you agreed you would enjoy your holiday and on the last day, you would greet the Sinclairs for dinner at Ambrose. You spent some good time with your adoptive parents. Deep down, you knew it would be the last time you would be with them like that. You might not remember Bo very well, you knew he wasn’t going to let you go that easily once he would see you again. You didn’t mind, even if you were concerned about what goodbyes with your adoptive parents were going to look like. 

You thought the end of the week would never come and you realised your excitement even made you forget about your usual need to kill to stay calm and quiet.

After a few days, it was time to go to Ambrose. Your mother was so on edge that she needed to be the one driving, so she could focus on something and calm down. You watched the roads, trying to remember them by heart as your mother drove to your hometown, following your father’s directions. She parked in front of the house, at the end of the town. 

You recognised everything. You recognised how empty the place was, despite the wax statues. You recognised the smell of danger lingering around, you recognised your home. You calmed down for the first time in years. You closed your eyes and leaned into your seat. You were back. Everything was going to be alright again. It had to be. 

Or you would kill everyone, and yourself.

Your parents turned toward you.

“Are you sure it is what you want? We can still leave.” you father said but you shook your head

“I want to be here” you replied

“If you feel like you don’t want to do any of this anymore, you just have to show us the door, okay? And we’ll leave. The most important thing is that you feel safe, okay? We won’t let anything happen to you.” your mother promised and you smiled

“It’s going to be alright, I’m sure of it” you said

“I just want you to keep in mind that your father is probably someone dangerous. It’s both a greeting… and probably a goodbye” she added and her husband nodded

“It’s important to know where you come from, but it’s also important to let go of the past, especially when it is a toxic past” he said and you found yourself nodding. 

You would have agreed to anything as long as it meant going back into your house.

Bo opened the front door to greet the three of you. He tried to play it cool but he was impatient, too impatient to even wait for you to knock at the door. 

He shook hands with your parents before his attention went on you. He looked you up and down and did his best to stay calm. Deep down, he wanted to cry and scream for not having seen his daughter growing up. He was desperate to see how the light in your eyes seemed to have died down. He hated he hadn’t been able to protect you and to find you after your mother left with just a message on the kitchen table saying “Happy Birthday, Bo. This is the day you lost everything”.

Most importantly, he was very excited to see you again. You were so beautiful, so perfect. He was certain you were the smartest as he saw you quickly looking around and taking everything in your surroundings. Vincent could gesture like that too. He tried not to think you were looking like an angel of death, a killer. His baby darling couldn’t be a killer, not yet, not when she had grown up so far away from the corruption of Ambrose.

He came closer to hug you but your parents blocked him. 

“We would be grateful if you wouldn’t touch her… We don’t know what are your intentions toward her” Your mother said and you recognised the pure anger moving through his eyes before disappearing. He gave her his most charming smile and nodded.

The Sinclairs agreed they wouldn’t kill your parents right away. They needed you to say out you were a Sinclair, one of them before that. They needed you to choose them, and they would do anything for that. Even if it meant taking the risk of having your parents around Ambrose several times.

Bo instantly noticed how silent you were and it concerned him.

Your parents and yourself greeted Lester and Vincent as you arrived into the kitchen. Your parents exchanged a look as they noticed Vincent’s mask.

“My brother’s got some scars he’d rather hide behind a mask, don’t worry ‘bout it” Bo explained, trying to not sound too annoyed. 

He was the only one who could judge his brother. He couldn’t stand anyone else looking at his twin as if he was part of a freak show. Your parents apologised and you all settled down.

The silence was deafening, as you looked around the house, taking into everything once again.

Nothing had changed, unlike you. 

Bo and your uncles looked older than when you were a child too, of course. But they didn’t really change. You recognised Lester’s soft light and warmth. He smiled at you with pure kindness. But you could see past it, you could tell that despite the love he still had for you, there was some hidden darkness. An even more dangerous one for Vincent. You recognised his presence right away, you recognised how his silence seemed to be the same one before a storm. He was quietly analysing everything and everyone but you felt at ease, unlike your parents. More importantly, you felt your father’s love for you. You recognised the way he looked at you as if you meant the world to him. You recognised his anger, hidden away inside his heart, like yours. You recognised him in yourself and yourself in him. You were home.

The Sinclairs noticed your necklace.

“Still got that jewel, hmm?” Lester said, trying to chat with you like he used to. You looked up at him as your hand reached for the comforting feeling of the necklace under your fingers. You smiled and nodded before signing:

“Never removed it”

The brothers kept a straight face but panic grew inside of them. Why were you using ASL? Why couldn’t they hear your voice? 

“She said…” your mother started but Bo cut her off:

“We all know ASL here; Vincent is mute. But ya’re not, ain’t ya?” he asked you

“Of course she is, when social care found her, she wasn’t talking” Your mother said as you shrugged

“Did your mother do anythin’ to ya?” Bo asked as he leaned toward you. He had no idea what truly happened, apart from the fact that you got taken away from him “Do ya know where she is now?”

“She took me away, saying she had a gift for you. When we arrived at the social care centre, she killed herself” you replied “I don’t remember much. But I didn’t forget this house” you smiled as you gestured around. You wanted to change the subject, you didn’t want to talk about your mother.

But Bo was too upset about the news. He thought she might have killed herself since the police never came into Ambrose and since he never saw her again. Plus, it was the only option for her to keep you away from him: otherwise he would have had a lead to find you and she didn’t want that. She wanted to punish Bo for the man he was, for the monster everyone could see in him and in his brothers.

“I’m sorry we have not been able to protect ya from her… She was sick, but I never thought she’d take ya away from me, us.” Bo told you “We should’ve done better for ya” he continued, regret lacing his voice.

“We heard you actually were the abusive one and her mother saved her from this place” your mother said. She wasn’t afraid to speak up but she thought that maybe she should have talked about the police or someone before coming here.

“Obviously, we don’t know everything that happened here. Y/N really wanted to come here, but it doesn’t mean we trust any of you with her” your adoptive father continued. It angered the Sinclairs a lot more than they showed it. Bo and Lester hummed and smiled. They didn’t want your legal guardians to be afraid of them, especially when they didn’t know who was aware of your presence in Ambrose.

“I believe my daughter can tell I’ve never hurt her in any way” Bo replied “Y/N had always been very important to me, to us three. I hope ya never forgot this, love” he smiled at you and you smiled back

“I thought you didn’t look for me. I heard a lot of bad things too, because of what mother did and said.”

“I swear we all look for ya, but ya were out of reach and gosh I prayed so much for ya to find your way back home. And ya finally did.” Bo whispered, you could hear the emotions swirling inside his voice. You were still wanted, you were still loved by your father.

“Y/N might have found her way back here… It doesn’t mean she’ll let go of her actual life. She is soon going to go to college after all, in only one year.” your mother said and she was quite proud of you.

“That’s great!” Lester exclaimed, even if Bo wasn’t too glad about this news. Your education was important but it was getting in the way of his plans to get you back.

“What subject are you interested in?” Vincent signed to you

“Medecine” you signed “but I’m also very good in my art classes. So if I fail medical school, I can still be an artist” you said

“But we all know you will be a great doctor, hon” your mother cooed

“Like your grandfather and grandmother then” Bo hummed in approval as well “I knew you’d inherited of the best of everything in the family” he added and you smiled even more “Ya’re the heir of the Sinclair, so I guess that’s normal”

“Y/N isn’t your heir anymore. Do you realise that child care and the State didn’t even know about her before her mother brought her to them? She didn’t exist and thanks to the situation, the administration had been able to fix the issues quite quickly. As a matter of fact, you never recognised her as your daughter, so she can’t be your heir or a Sinclair.” your mother said

“Look, ma’am I’m doin’ my best here for all of us to have a nice dinner, so maybe ya could be nicer as well” Bo said with a look of danger in the eyes

“It’s okay, mom is always protective of me” you signed to calm Bo down. He disliked the fact you recognised her as your mother, because it meant you recognised the other man as your father. He couldn’t stand the idea alone, so the proof you were accepting your adoptive family as your family was unbearable.

“Of course I'm protective of you… especially when we see how dangerous the world can be.”

“Always told that to my daughter” Bo agreed for the first time with your mother

You all stayed silent for a little moment.

“Ambrose sounds very… quiet. At least, it feels like a safe enough place. You see, there is some sort of serial killer murdering people in the city we live in, and around it as well” your adpotive father said, trying to find a new subject of conversation

“We live in a mad world” your mother whined

“A serial killer? And ya didn’t move out? Not even for Y/N's safety?!” Bo asked, he couldn’t help but be worried about your safety. He knew how dangerous people could be indeed. Gosh, he couldn’t wait for you to move back to Ambrose so he would be able to keep an eye on you.

“I’m no prey” you shook your head wich was very thought provoking for the Sinclairs

“What kind of art do you enjoy making?” Vincent asked to change the subject

“Sculpture” you instantly replied and without any hesitation “Speaking of, how is the House of Wax doing?” you asked back

“Oh, you remember it. :) It’s going well.” you could feel Vincent was excited in the way he signed back to you

“I’d like to visit it again. You must have done so many new sculptures since I left.” you replied

“I’m not sure we’ll have time for that, hon” your mother intervened. 

The twins hoped they would soon be able to turn your adoptive parents into wax statues and hide them away in one of the abandoned houses.

You simply nodded in agreement, which annoyed the Sinclairs. As a child, you never agreed with anyone who didn’t want to let you do what you wanted. You were strong minded, you were determined and you were smart. They hated to see you so docile.

Soon enough the dinner was over and the Sinclairs couldn’t force the three of you to stay any longer. You got up with your adoptive parents, as they were getting ready to go. You quickly walked to Bo and hugged him, before anyone could stop you. He hugged you back, as tightly as he could without hurting you, and kissed the top of your head.

“Missed ya” he whispered “So much”

“I’ll be back soon” you signed to him, your back to your parents so they couldn’t read your hands “I promise.”

And with this promise, the Sinclairs let you all go, unharmed, hoping you would keep your words.

They needed their heir.

And more importantly, they needed their sun back.

--

PART IV

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Taglist: @murder-hobo - @lacychick ; @magical-sass ; @limehaspassed ; @loveinglymessedup ; @bloodmoon-bites ; @iwantsleepplz ; @kawaistrawberry21 ; @12gaugefalls ; @kriston1210

[footballffbarbiex]

player: Rúben Dias words: 2.8k type: angst

Let's fast forward to three hundred awkward blind dates later

If she's got blue eyes, I will surmise that you'll probably date her

You dream of my mouth before it called you a lying traitor

You search in every model's bed for something greater

Everything you were learning about Rúben is completely against your will and though you’re trying to not let it get under your skin and bury deep into your muscles, you still feel any and all nuggets of information grating against your nerves. So it doesn’t surprise you when your best friend opens her mouth and says “he’s been spotted with another model.” but it does feel like salt is being rubbed onto those nerves too. 

“Of course he has,” it comes out a little more bitterly than you’d intended and so you swallow some wine instead to stop yourself from saying anything else that you might regret. 

“I’m sure I don’t need to tell you what she looks like.” she continues, observing you over the rim of her own glass before she takes a small drink herself. 

It’s started to become a running joke for the two of you. You weren’t good enough for Rúben but he was happy to date every woman that remotely resembles you after you. It was a kick in the teeth each time you were faced with another photo of him and his latest beau and a mere mention of someone new feels like a slap. 

“Kurt wants to know if you’ll come to dinner on Wednesday.” She changes the subject, knowing that this is a sore spot but it was better that she told you now than being sent it by someone else who believes they’re doing you a favour while not being considerate of your feelings at all. 

“No.” You say a little too quickly. 

Kurt was one of Rúben’s best friends and if he was hosting a dinner party, then your ex would be there too. You felt suffocated at the best of times merely seeing his name via google or instagram, let alone being made to share the same four walls and a table with the man. 

Ex feels too strongly of a word considering you’d barely got past the dating stage. Rúben refused to put a label on the two of you and while you weren’t usually one for wanting them, you did try to ask him where you stood in the situationship. Especially because you were catching feelings, fast and hard and the idea of him not wanting to commit to you pained you more than it scared you. Ultimately, Rúben ended the … situation due to ‘commitment issues’, but had no issues with finding the ability to do so with other people. 

“He was invited initially but according to their match fixtures, they have an away Champions League game.” She comments, drumming her fingers on the side of the glass in a beat that you almost recognise. 

“I applaud your extensive research before coming to me with Kurt’s invitation.” 

“I knew you’d back out almost immediately otherwise -”

“And I did.” 

She hums in agreement. 

“At least consider it? I’d love to see you there anyway.” 

_

You’ve checked and checked and checked again more times than you wanted to admit that Rúben absolutely was out of the country ready for the game tomorrow. With no updates regarding rotations or suspensions from previous games, you’d found it “safe” to leave the comfort of your home and make your way to Kurt’s. 

Having Rúben end the relationship had meant that he’d won the monopoly of the friends that you’d made being in his circle, and one of them that you had joint custody over was Kurt. Caring, funny and incredibly supportive, Kurt was everything in a person that you wish you’d found in a friend years previously. Nights at his were never boring and he was the one person you truly felt you could be around and trust not to bring up him in conversation. 

By the time he’d opened the front door, you could smell a light warming scent drifting from one of the hallway candles which was quickly swallowed up as you approached the kitchen. If you were peckish upon arrival, then as dinner was being plated up half an hour later, you were famished. Your bestie was still due to arrive thanks to being stuck in traffic both on the way home from work and also after leaving the house. Other mutual friends who you were familiar enough with to interact with but not enough to really talk to are here too. 

Bottles of wine and water are on the table along with small baskets of bread and butter which are snatched up by those sitting around you. Several people are still due to arrive, so the amount of empty spaces isn’t bothering you too much, though you do reserve the one next to you for her. 

You’re cutting open a bread roll after smushing the butter into a spreadable consistency when your phone beeps and a i’m 5 mins away x text comes through and not for the first time this evening, you sigh a sigh of relief. 

-

You’re in the middle of the main course and half a glass of wine down as your bestie is telling you the latest drama from her office when voices in the hallway gets your attention and the voice that once made your stomach flip is now the reason for it dropping. Your head snaps to the head of the table at the opposite end to you and your eyes meet Kurt’s as the voice continues to speak with someone else. 

What is he doing here? You mouth a little too aggressively as panic begins to swirl in your stomach. Her fingers touch your arm to try and silently calm you but the more you think about it, the more you feed the dread. 

He isn’t supposed to be, is mouthed aggressively back. At least he’s met your energy. 

“It’s good to see you again,” comes his voice as he finally steps into the room. “Sorry I’m late.” He says as he finally addresses the room. 

The empty space opposite and one seat over now feels as though it’s mocking you. Though it’s not dressed for someone to sit in, you feel as though you should have known this was coming. 

“I’ll get you a plate.” Kurt is on his feet faster than you’d have liked him to be but you understand he cannot treat Rúben with disrespect purely because of you nor would you want him to. He gives your shoulder a squeeze as he passes and it’s only in that moment where you feel just how tense your muscles are.

You can hear your breathing coming out in shaky exhales but rather than looking around the table to see what other dinner guests are thinking. You don’t want to look up at the man who you’d held out your heart to. Sure, you’ve seen Rúben around, but not in such an intimate capacity like this. You’ve never had to sit opposite him and felt as though you’ve had to exchange pleasantries. You could, of course, ask to switch seats but you don’t want to give him the satisfaction of knowing he was getting to you. 

When you lift your cutlery to begin to eat again, you note that your hands are shaking. You’d rather take a drink but now he’s here, you want as much of a clear mind as you can possibly have. He clouds your judgement far more than any alcohol ever could and he’s stayed in your system longer than any drugs ever would. 

Plate to mouth. Mouth to plate. Plate to mouth. You continue until you can’t think anymore.You ignore the sound of a chair being moved and pushed back under, a plateful of food being put down and cutlery clinking together. Talk still flows around the table but it sounds as though you’re listening from under water. Even now with impaired sound, it’s clear it’s become very strained since he came in. 

Questions are aimed in his direction and though you try to close off your hearing, you can still hear his replies. If he’s as worried as you are about this meeting, he’s not showing it. 

“Do you want this?” You ask your friend, gesturing to the glass. 

“Don’t you want it? What’s wrong with it?” 

“No, I don’t want it. I want something else.”

“I’m going for one,” James, who sits on the other side of you, says quietly. “I can get one for you too?” 

“That’d be great.” You give a small nod and try to give a smile, though you realise in this moment it appears pained. 

James was a good man, and someone who you could depend on for a light but long chat. He played the small talk game and he played it well. It wasn’t ever anything much but he gave you good reprieve when you needed it.

It’s not until he’s left the table and in turn, the room, that you remember there’s spare glasses and pitches of water with ice. Not wanting to seem rude, you leave him to get your drink, and busy yourself in pouring a cold glass of water. He returns as you’re taking tentative sips. 

“Mmm,” you hum to him to acknowledge that you’ve seen him as he takes his place back at your side while you finish your sips and place the water back on the table and turn to get the drink that Jamie offers you and give a little sniff.

“You remembered.” Small movements swirl the liquid around, ensuring that it’s fully mixed but before you can place it on the table next to the water, you hear 

“Might have remembered her drink but you’ve given an extra ice cube.” Your hand freezes as you listen. 

“Sorry?” Jamie says. He’s not sorry, it’s more of a chance for Rúben to retract his sentence. 

“She prefers two ice cubes not three. You’ve watered down her drink.” 

The statement seems to hang in the air between the three of you and when you finally look up, Rúben is looking right at you. 

“Thanks Jamie,” your smile is still pained but you give it anyway before taking a quick drink, followed by a deeper one seconds later. “I need some air.” you say quietly to no-one and everyone all at the same time. 

Kurt doesn’t fight to keep you at the table and instead, you notice the apologetic expression on his face as you all but flee the room and don’t stop until you’re pulling open the door that leads to the garden and step out. You gulp in the air as you close your eyes and try to clear your head. 

Everything had been so good up until then. You’d managed to keep your head down and was fully prepared to not only be civil with him but so sickly sweet he’d need an emergency trip to the dentist. 

“Fuck him,” you hiss, letting out some of your frustration under your breath. “Fuck. Him.” You repeat and follow it with a long groan. 

“I deserve that.” He says it so quickly, you barely have time to register that he’s said it at all, never mind the fact that he’s snuck up on you. Your heart pounds against your chest with such force, you can’t believe that he’s unable to hear it himself. 

“You have some nerve coming out here to me.”

“With you.” he corrects. 

You almost scoff at him as you turn to look at him properly for the first time since he arrived. “To me.” you stand your ground. “You decided a long time ago that you’d never step out with me.”

“That’s not fair.”

“What was that back there, Rúben? Seriously. “You watered down her drink.” you impersonate him. “You have no right to correct people on my details when you had no intention of sticking around.”

“So I can’t help?”

“I didn’t need your help. It was a drink. One that he’s made many times before and I’ve never felt the need to correct him before.”

“I just thought if he was making you one, he should make it how you like it.”

“You saw it as an unnecessary dick measuring competition.” You stare him down until he finally looks away. He doesn’t deny it and you knew he wouldn’t. Knew he couldn’t. 

“I didn’t think you’d be here.” Rúben tries a different tactic. 

“That’s the only reason I’m here because I didn’t think you would be.”

“The highs and lows of football.” He clicks his tongue and points to his thigh. “Felt something in my hamstring. Coach didn’t want to risk it.”

“Shouldn’t you be explaining this to your girlfriend and not me?” You hate that it slips out before you can stop it but you register the look on his face anyway. 

“She’s not my girlfriend.”

“Maybe not yet anyway,” you mutter it under your breath and try to push past him but he blocks your way. 

“What does that mean?”

“You weren’t ready for a relationship with me but you’re dating the closest possible thing you could find to what you really wanted but were too scared to go for.” And there it is. Months and months of conversations you’ve had with yourself as you’ve lay in bed and gone over everything that happened between you when you’ve had one too many drinks. All the rational, and irrational thinking had led to this moment. Finally putting out your theories to the one person who would either debunk or confirm them. 

You watch as he swallows hard and looks away, focusing his attention on almost anything but you. “You still can’t admit that you wanted me more than you let on, can you?”

“What difference would it make to hear it after all this time?” There’s almost a sadness in Rúben’s voice as he realises that it’s now or never to finally get to the bottom of it all. 

“Because I know I’m right about us.”

“So it’s about winning then for you,” he doesn’t word it as a question, it feels more of an accusation.

“No. It’s about needing to hear for the first time that what we had was real after months and years of you pretending that it wasn’t.”

“I never pretended.” He tries to justify his actions. “I never said that it didn’t feel real. That it was real.”

“I deserve to know that the only reason why we couldn’t have it all was because you were scared.”

His chest rises and falls as he breathes deeply, the muscle in his cheek twitches as he tries to think about what he needs to say. 

“I need to know why they were good enough but I wasn’t. Why date women who look like they could be me if you didn’t want me?” Your voice cracks and you hate that your eyes well up, hot tears now pearling at your lash line, threatening to spill over. You could kick yourself for allowing your emotions to get the better of you. 

“You were always good enough. Always. You knew that I wasn’t capable of giving you what you needed at the start. But I wanted to. I could see the life we could have had and I got inside my own head that I couldn’t live up to the version of me that you wanted. That you needed and that you deserved.”

“I’d have taken any version of you Rúben.”

“I know. And I didn’t want you to have one that wasn’t worth it at the time.”

“You hurt me.”

Three words that he’d known all this time, that he’d told himself enough times that he thought if he ever heard it from her, he’d be desensitised to it. But right here and now, he’s not. Hearing it slices into him in a way he couldn’t have predicted. 

“I know.”

“I wish that I could get over you.” you say as the tear spills in a hot streak down your cheek and drips from your chin. Another follows and another until you’re forced to wipe them away. 

“And I’m selfish enough to not want you to.”

“You’re doing a great job in trying to get me to move on though. Tell me. Where is she? At home waiting for you? Or did she have prior arrangements so she couldn’t come with you tonight?” 

“She’s probably at home. Her home.” He clarifies. “Turns out the reality of me is different to the fantasy. You’ll know about that better than anyone.”

“The reality was my fantasy. The only time you ever let me down was when you left me.”

“And if I wanted a chance to make it up to you? Would you let me?”

“I don’t know if I can trust myself to let you back in.”

“I deserve that,” he gives as much of a strained smile that you’d given earlier this evening. 

“This has emotionally drained me. I can’t do this tonight. I can’t. ”

“Turning up wasn’t my greatest plan, I’ll admit.”

“No. It wasn’t. But Rúben? I’d give you baby steps to try. Just not tonight.”