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divinationcentral · 3 years

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General Reading.

Main Energy: Ten of Pentacles, Ace of Wands

Well, in your everyday life, things seem to be going pretty okay. That said, you still have a new beginning coming into play.

When we say new beginning as Tarot readers, we are referring to something new that you will be starting that creates change in your everyday life.

Think: if you have an idea to start something new, then you now have the determination/passion/creative insight to do so.

Or: you get word that you have been selected for an interview.

Or, something as simple as: you’re starting a new creative project which is going to yield you positive results. Whether that concerns your finances or not. Like, maybe you just do this thing for fun, and somehow it’s now creating a stable income for you.

Imagine that you meet someone new? They spark an interest or passion, lust attraction - whatever it is - it drives you to do something new. It gives you incentive to initiate something new.

Whatever it is - it adds to your current luxuries. The Ten of Pentacles refers to having stability in the home. Your foundation is good, and so you’re able to start something new and focus on it. But now it’s about creating something that you can look forward to (like a future; it’s going to be preparing you for the future in other words, so don’t take it lightly).

Spread:

Six of Swords

Five of Swords

Page of Swords

Closure, release...first words that come to mind. You are walking away from an obvious defeat. Something or someone that has victimized you. And it’s not fair, I understand.

Walking away is the best thing you can and will do for yourself.

You may have been skeptical at first, but now you are sure: they just played games with you. And it wasn’t even necessary. All these individuals (or singular if it’s just one), did this on purpose.

Trust that karma has its way of finding its injustices, and rights them in its own time when they are wrong.

Let me give you an example of this (because I am not perfect):

I once hit a car, yes, I did. It wasn’t while driving, it wasn’t while someone was in it. It was parked.

A couple with children was walking in front of me while I was trying to park. They couldn’t decide whether or not they wanted to cross, so I was unsure about whether or not to pass. When I finally did, I was so unfocused, I scraped the car next to me.

I drove away, out of sheer instinct and fear (I had a new car, I was already paying so much on it, on top of having just gotten the car insurance, which was a super high payment, my driving record was set to start over, so it would go lower - so I did have a motive for not staying, and it was an incorrect one, because I was being selfish).

No one saw me, it never came up again.

Did I get away scot free? Yes, and no. Guess what happened to me after this? My car got towed, cost me almost 400$ to get it back. Had I just stayed there and reported it - most likely wouldn’t have cost me this much in retrospect. Maybe a couple dollars more on my insurance payment. I’m sure that’s how much it would have cost the owner of that car to get the scrape fixed and removed (it wasn’t bad, but it was a pretty bad scrape from the look of it).

Karma finds a way to circle back around to each and everyone of us.

It will get us all in the end.

This isn’t a threat. Nope. A lot of people like to use the name of Karma to cause threats.

I’m asking you to clear your conscience. Say sorry to whoever you need to say it to. Say thank you for something that you need to say thank you to.

You don’t have to say it directly to somebody, but say it to somebody. Acknowledge it. Acknowledge the good deeds of others. Acknowledge the help you’ve received, if any. Forgive your circumstances, forgive those involved. Have the sight of someone who sees a big picture. Not because you’re trying to clear yourself of anything, or forgive someone for the sake of forgiveness (because lets be honest, not all people deserve our trust or companionship), but acknowledge that it happened, and acknowledge your place in it.

Tell yourself: I will do better. OR if you did nothing at all, that someone will take this into account, and will do better alongside you. It’s bound to happen. Things are bound to change, but seeing the big picture allows you to clear yourself from all the clutter and go “I don’t need to be in this mess, I don’t need to stress about this anymore, how do I remove myself from it? What actions can I take that will resolve this now?”

Reflect on your misdeeds, your positive deeds...take them all into account and say: I have responsibilities. I am accountable for all my misgivings, but also for all my good qualities. I help people, and people depend on me (someone has to). I am doing everything in my current capabilities to live justly. But, I could use some guidance.

I am human, and I make mistakes. I forgive myself for that, and am grateful for all my blessings.

Release attachments to things that have been long overdue. Understand that we are all connected to each other someway/somehow, and that people who pretend to be good, do the most harm, and exact the most punishment (not because I said so, but because that is the truth).

Don’t lie to yourself. Be honest, and live from this moment on, unbothered by the inconsistencies of someone’s nature. Accept they are who they say they are at face value, and when they present differently - accept that too. Use it as knowledge to make a conclusion, give yourself closure, and just “leave it to God” as they say, if you can’t just leave it to the logic to say “You know what? That is just a bad person, for whatever reason - they hurt me.” And the person may not have intended to. Accept the truth, and walk away. That person has to deal with their own karmic misgivings. Whether they apologize to you or instead choose to pay the price or keep on lying/stealing/cheating/hurting - is none of your concern (it’s not your business, unless you want to continue to associate yourself to someone that has mistreated you, and may continue to).

What you choose to do, and whether you accept a person’s apology or welcome them back into your life: again, is the power of choice. The power of acknowledging your part in what happens moving forward (be that good or bad). It’s not about blame, but understanding that you can make mistakes with the greatest of intentions. And it’s not solely based on what you do, it doesn’t rely just on you, but also the other person involved. Will they tell you the truth? Are they going to act from a place of sincerity? Will they treat you better? Are they going to change their behavior?

Clear your conscience. What did you do to partake in what has happened? Let it go. Forgive yourself. Forgive the other party if you have to (but this is mainly if the offense is forgivable - otherwise, forgive yourself for any guilt you might be feeling, regardless, because it does happen; we can feel guilty for something we didn’t do).

Don’t become the same cruelty that hurts you if that’s not who you intend to be. Live as honestly as you can.

Move away from things that no longer concern you. Ask yourself if there’s still something you’re holding onto (whether it’s about this situation or things of the past). What are you holding onto about it? Is it the reason you keep going back to this thing? Is it really going to be benefitting you in the long run? Especially if the situation or the person (and their motives) hasn’t changed? Now, of course you won’t know this unless you take a risk. But people provide you evidence. Without wanting to - they reveal their nature when you are better at discerning what is truth/fact, vs. what is a “promise.” Hold people accountable to their word if you have to.

Past failures, people’s “good word,” an opportunity that has passed, regrets, hang ups - all of it. Try and release it now. What good is it doing you to reminisce about the past when it’s no longer here for you? When it can’t provide you answers, when it won’t tell you what to do next.

Use your own judgement.

You remain tethered to those ghosts, and so remain tethered to a world of failure (or whatever it is that is plaguing you constantly since this has happened). Nothing changes, surprisingly, because you don’t want it to. Not really. Not yet.

Stop the actions you are taking that are getting you nowhere, and reflect.

What can I do differently this time around? You don’t have to remain attached to the situation you don’t want to be attached to, but you have to release the expectation that it’s going to change or that you’re going to get fairly compensated for it (be that emotionally or monetarily, because it’s weighing you down, very personally). Because if it has not changed, chances are you need to search for something better at this time. Or at least move on from it to gain some peace of mind and obtain clarity.

The sooner you can do all of that - the sooner things can change, improve, and even begin to make sense.

Right now you’re too focused on what hurts - who or what hurt you.

Example: What are you trying to obtain right now?

Financial independence? What is the blockage? And I’m not talking about the obvious immediate one (I can’t get a different job, I can’t because of XYZ, whether xyz is someone in charge or otherwise, because that’s shifting responsibility and giving power to someone or something else and not you) - I’m talking about the subtle stuff.

Are you feeling guilty for wanting more? Why? Why do you need this financial independence? Who is it affecting you from achieving it? Why? What are they saying to you? What are your beliefs regarding this situation? Do they serve you?

Are you telling yourself a lie? What’s the real reason behind what you want right now? Are you trying to leave your home? Are you trying to get away from a nagging boss? Is there resentment, is there a part of you that clings on to the possibilities too much? Is there something else holding you back? Fear of the unknown, a scapegoat of some sort, like using your situation as a crutch, so you remain in a comfort zone?

Those things. It seems really irrelevant, right? But it’s the purpose behind what you are wanting.

That purpose needs to be free of attachments. What you want just comes to you easier that way. Because you align with it when you’re ready (and being ready means that you will be responsible for what you want to have - it isn’t always something we can actually do, we have to take that into account).

What you want has to provide you some sort of benefit, right? Think about that benefit, and only that benefit.

Help yourself get rid of the insecurity that has become attached to this thing. Like worrying about the worst thing that can happen if you don’t get it.

Be honest about the short comings, and accept that there is a better way to ask for something.

Are the actions you are taking now consistent with the reasons you want this change?

This will help you achieve it much more easily.

Stand behind your resolve, and don’t regret anything.

And let me just say: you had been right to move on. It was the obvious decision. Now it’s about balancing your life to become more justly rooted in the present, to what you believe in, so you can gain back what you lost from this.

Once you are at a stable place (meaning you are no longer constantly worried about this, or the bad situation has left your life and you are now comfortable again, in a place of stability, where you don’t feel this lack or inconsistency in your life) - you can make change, and you will have opportunity for that change.

Don’t grumble about it. Don’t ask yourself why. Let it go, leave it be, whatever phrase you want to agree with. This isn’t about losing. It’s not even about winning.

This is about you becoming the person (or thing, either one) that you want to be. You are simply aligning your actions to who or what that is, now.

You are aligning yourself to who you are currently, actually. Your actions will reflect that.

If an outcome is not the way you expected it to be: who is the real culprit?

Face that with the utmost sincerity, honesty...And I need to remind you: I’m not talking about assigning blame.

I’m talking about clearing your conscience, so you can become everything you say you are going to be moving forward. You need to release the attachments. So you can accept the consequences with grace.

You make it easier on yourself, and things can come and go with ease.

No delays. No holding onto negative thinking patterns (yes, they are patterns we can put ourselves into that don’t even need to be applied to our current situations; it’s like a memory, we can default to it when we are unsure or insecure about ourselves). Defeat that uncertainty with affirmative action and decisiveness.

Decisiveness comes with confidence. That confidence comes from the ability to be willing to make mistakes, and the ability to accept when you are wrong about something.

Only then can change truly happen.

Make time. Make space for what you’re wanting.

If the old situation isn’t or wasn't’ working...? What is there to doubt about it now. Move forward. You are going to be in a more stable place once you do.

What are you currently telling yourself? Does it help you?

(Does it actually help you?) (Does it hurt you to maintain a facade?) (Be true to yourself, first and foremost; honesty)

#general reading #tarot

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funkymbtifiction · 7 years

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Hiya, totally new to MBTI and all I am sure of is that I am probably some kind of intuitive person most likely either INTP, ENTP, ENFP, INFP or INTJ. Hoping you can help me narrow down stuff, and oh keep up the great work! I enjoy looking at my favourite fictional characters through your lens of MBTI typing.

Mod note: ENTP.

[Stuff I didn’t comment on removed for length]

Extrovert/Introvert My thoughts change pretty swiftly. I can go seamlessly from one topic to another, and come back to the old topic, occasionally draw connections between the topics on the spot which sometimes even I am surprised by. […] Oh man! I never stick to one decision, and even when I do it turns into like… a game of Chinese whispers where it starts out being one thing and towards the end, it has taken on a different form. With jobs, I do think frequently about quitting in favor of pursuing something way more interesting and fulfilling. I am a bit impractical in the sense that if I want out, I just go ahead and quit without really having a back-up job (even though I know it is good and ideal to do so, but just because it may be ideal to do so, I won’t wait around till it has happened. I can get really antsy when there is a brighter carrot being dangled in front of me and something is holding me back). A big motivator is definitely the promise of a bigger, brighter, something tomorrow. Even if its just vague outlines, it can get me pretty excited but also I can burn with excitement over an idea and if it doesn’t garner sufficient action and encouragement, I can get easily discouraged and drop it, feeling insecure of the merit of the idea or just drop it randomly, no reasons given. I just move on to the next thing, or sometimes I reflect on why that idea didn’t work […]My interests last anywhere between a few days or years, they are many and varied, I can get really caught up in them, investing in them even like this is going to be some lifelong thing. Turns out it is a phase, and I have had quite a few of these phases. Wanting to be an editor, dancer, taking up hospitality management full time, going into law enforcement, film-making, music, writing. The idea of change/recasting myself into a new role-new life is immensely exciting to me but often I find that I am underwhelmed when I do go after what I want. It is like the chase is more exciting, than doing the actual thing. […]I never tend to have singular visions of the future. I have multiple visions or plans that I keep working towards (or not, trusting that the image will keep changing and I will eventually end up adapting) I am okay with not working on all of them at once, as long as I know my chance isn’t shut off. My natural focus is directed towards mental stimulation and constant improvement of (quality and quantity of) interactions. I frequently abandon projects, often before I have even etched them out. I often have an image in my mind that I would like to draw but I have so fully etched it out in my head, and even end up envisioning the final product that by the time I actually take pencil to paper, I no longer want to do the thing. It just feels spent.

Ne-dom.

2. Thinking/Feeling I am far more stable with my relationships though I do tire of people easily. There are days when I don’t wish to talk to my best friend even, and I simply disappear without explanation, preferring to come back later and make sure we are good. It is important to me that we be okay though, because even after pulling something like that, I like to ensure there is some sense of harmony, I don’t like getting into conflict with friends and have never cut one out of my life so far.

Strong feeling function, but could be either Fi or Fe.

My personal understanding of my feelings is crap. I have had to work on it, and have gotten better at it. Usually I misread emotional cues in an environment, say something inappropriate and then kind of beat myself up (this is where my above mentioned social anxiety kicks in) over it till the other person tells me it wasn’t a big deal and that we are cool. I don’t know how they tend to drive me, honestly. Pretty bad at the emotional landscape. How they show up is in unexpected ways, it is like I never have a handle on the emotions especially under stress. It just kind of erupts. It is not that I bottle it up, think of it like a dormant volcano that’s been steadily spewing ash and stuff for sometime, and suddenly it just goes BOOM!

Bolded = likely tert-Fe.

Oh definitely, external validation matters more to me though I really wish I were confident enough from within to ignore those voices. [...] I am actually pretty articulate and wordy, so I have no trouble expressing how I feel, the way I solve emotional issues is by dissecting it with a friend and working my way through that emotional maze. I don’t always process immediately the intensity of the emotion that I am feeling which is what leads to the earlier dormant volcano kind of scenario because sometimes, even I am surprised by the depth of emotional impact Person/Event XYZ had on me. I realize this days/weeks/months later at times.

Fe.

Work example - When I run into a problem at work, my first instinct is always like that of Hermione Granger. “There must be an answer, I just need to look for it.” So, I then look at the client’s question and try to go beyond the mere wording, see what it actually means, what they want, what the scope of the thing is and I look at it in a lot of different ways. I go in deep while solving it, taking apart and examining for individual components while ensuring the solutions fits as a whole. I look at it in the context of the client’s work, their product and try to see their query as part of a bigger picture, an unsolved puzzle that I then put back together. Also, I am pretty efficient at jumping into their shoes and seeing what they might want and accordingly tweak my answers. I occasionally improv while presenting, and end up ambitiously biting off more than I can chew, which is especially hard for me considering my general poor time management/procrastination.

Ne/Ti.

3. Intuition based questions Vague terms usually, however sometimes I can get incredibly detailed if it is visual things but even then it is like I am describing a memory of it and not the actual thing. My way of looking at the world is like Portrait mode where everything else around can go out of focus, with an unerringly sharp zoom in on the object that I want to focus on.

Bolded = inferior Si / the rest, Si.

When I am in a new situation, I assess what I do know about the situation and how I can go from there. I certainly don’t jump into the situation and take control quickly. I look for cues in my environment to see what I should do next, keep switching gears to adapt, while often mentally reviewing if there was a similar situation ever earlier, or something I read about that could help me in the situation.

Ne/Si.

Inferior functions: Under stress, I comfort eat, I cling to certain things which I know will make me feel good, end up overdoing things or spiral into this dark place where I can never see any hope, or good possibilities ever again. I just keep feedback looping negatively to myself, and I find that I am unable to climb out of the hole dug by myself because of using negative confirmation bias from reliving past evidence of why I am right, why things won’t/can’t change etc.

Inferior Si grip.

Conclusion: ENTP

- ENFP Mod

#question #entp #type me

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foundcarcosa · 6 years

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I did my birth chart a long ass time ago but that one wasn’t as detailed as this one (it’s got sextiles and shit). I’m gonna post this one with its descriptions partially so I can find it again and also just for funsies. (I find it very difficult to argue with anything I’ve read in here, just so y’all know... lmao #draggt)

Very long post, but I tried to use formatting to at least break it into manageable pieces. The pronouns and shit (sometimes it’s like “you [xyz]” and sometimes it’s like “he [xyz]” or whatever) jump all over the place for some reason, but meh.

I’m gonna do the houses in another post to try and split it up.

sun in gemini

With the Sun in Gemini, the urge for self-expression is strong. These natives are often just as interested in collecting information as they are in sharing it. Curious to a fault, Geminis have a finger in every pie. Solar Geminis are flexible and changeable people. Their ability to adapt quickly to new situations generally gains them plenty of friends and social contacts. Usually quite clever and witty, Geminis enjoy intellectual conversations and they are easily bored if they are not getting enough mental stimulation. Often quite adept at fitting in with others, Geminis easily adopt the moods of those around them. They are friends to people from all walks of life, and are not easily intimidated. Their ability to detach themselves can make Geminis very objective and observant, but a little difficult to get close to. Although they often have many friends, intimacy doesn't come as easily to Solar Geminis. It can be difficult to know what Gemini really feels at any given moment. They are often very impressionable and scattered. There is usually a nervous air to Geminis that can make more personal characters a little uneasy. It is not always intuitive to trust Geminis to be loyal or to keep secrets. Geminis often flit about, moving quickly and keeping busy every step of the way. Many people with this position of the Sun have gained quite a bit of knowledge in their lifetimes, but they don't often possess specialized knowledge. This is because Geminis have relatively short attention spans. Restlessness is especially common with this position of the Sun. Usually quite affable, Geminis enjoy the "light" side of life. This tendency to take things lightly makes them quite pleasing to be around; but it can be maddening to people seeking support on the deeper issues in life. Geminis are both interesting and interested. Their wit can be dazzling and their changeability dizzying. At the very least, Geminis will seldom bore you.

Gemini ascendant Scorpio | Sun in VII

You take pride in your ability to negotiate, and to establish harmony in your relationships. It is important to you to have a partner, as you feel incomplete without one. You are motivated to become well-liked, and you are especially sensitive to rejection. One of the lessons in your life may be to avoid putting harmony and others' opinions of you above your own needs. Use your social skills and seek out peaceful relations with others, but try not to over-identify with your partnerships and the way you are received by others. You may marry someone with a strong personality.

moon in gemini

Lunar Geminis are usually pleasant, witty, and charming people. At home and with family, however, they can be moody and irritable at times. People with Moon in Gemini are always interesting people--they have a finger in every pie, are curious to a fault, and are generally well-informed. Nervousness and worry are common traits with this lunar position. An underlying restlessness is common, and many Lunar Geminis need more stimulation than others. They usually read a lot, talk a lot, and think a lot with this airy, mutable position of the Moon. Their homes are often a perpetual work-in-progress. They generally dislike housework, but are big on home improvement. Re-organizing their homes in little--and sometimes big--ways seems to keep them happy, as Lunar Geminis are easily bored by both routine and constancy. Often, this is a reflection of their inner world--"the grass is always greener..." applies here. Inwardly, Lunar Geminis are often unsettled. Moon in Gemini parents are generally more adept at handling the intellectual needs of their children than emotional ones. Others' complicated emotions, in general, can be difficult for Lunar Geminis to handle. In their families, Lunar Geminis often take on the role of organizing get-togethers. They are at their best when they have plenty of things to do beyond routine. Moon in Gemini people almost always have a way with words. They are clever and witty, and more often than not can be found chatting with others. They are sociable and friendly, and feel comfortable in crowds. Some pay too much attention to what everyone else is doing, and lose touch with what they really want to do. Generally, Lunar Geminis have a million and one projects going. They are impressionable folk, and their imagination is boundless. Their openness to new ideas is admirable, although decisiveness and persistence take a blow as a result. Still, versatility and adaptability are some of the stronger traits of this position of the Moon. When irritable, these people can easily become snappy. Their moodiness is complicated--this is not the same kind of moodiness you'll find with water sign moons, for example. Usually, difficult behavior stems from inner restlessness. Lunar Geminis want to do it all, and have trouble sticking to any one project. When problems arise, the first instinct of Moon in Gemini natives is to talk things out. Their tendency to analyze can give them the appearance of emotional detachment. In fact, Lunar Geminis may be especially comfortable talking about their feelings, but feeling their own feelings doesn't come as easily. Those that don't take time out to really emote and understand their own needs may end up baffling others. Feeling misunderstood is common for Moon in Gemini natives. The only real solution to the problem is learning to get in touch with their own feelings.

Moon in VIII It has a tendency to having deep and profound dreams. Romantic fantasies. Is interested in the occult. While you have a strong need for emotional security, you are also a person who is drawn to pushing your own limits, and many lifestyle changes can be the result of this need to challenge, or reinvent, yourself emotionally. You are always fascinated with how people work, taboos, secrets, and all that is forbidden or hidden. Sexual unrest, or an apparent need to constantly change sexual partners or to challenge yourself sexually, may be a symptom of emotional insecurity. Connecting with another person intimately is an emotional need, but your changeable emotions might often get in the way of your goal. Jealousy and possessiveness might also be qualities you struggle with. At your best, however, you are a person who is intimate, deep, and intensely loyal to a partner.

358 Conjunction Moon - Mercury You can be quite expressive and animated in your speech. You have an outstanding memory and tend to pick up a lot of information from your environment. You love to chat and to exchange ideas. Even if you are shy, once you're friends, you love to talk about pretty much anything under the sun, and you enjoy sharing stories from your past! For the most part, you are focused on day-to-day activities in your communications rather than on grander philosophies. You are naturally curious and interested, and others find you very easy to talk to. You are accommodating and curious, but you are not as well equipped to handle heavy emotional demands. You thrive on change and variety. You might be a little addicted to gossip! More probably, however, you are simply very curious about others. There is a twinkle in your eyes, and you are never short on humor. You are playful and versatile--you make a fun companion and an interesting friend. You listen! Yes, you do talk and occasionally interrupt in your excitement, but you are a curious person who does want to hear what others have to say, and that is a real pleasure. In fact, you are more able than most people to get others talking, simply because you are very receptive and sympathetic. You pick up others' feelings and body language readily.

210 Sextile Moon - Jupiter It is generally pleasantly composed, due to an inner sense of harmony and emotional balance. It is optimistic--and realistically so, most of the time--which contributes to its overall "luck". It is able to get a real perspective on emotional matters that not only benefits its outlook, it is able to offer support to others when needed. Broad-mindedness is a wonderful characteristic. Quick to find humor in situations, it is generally warm and fun to be around. Deep down, it believes in the basic goodness of people and of life in general, and this basic and natural attitude helps it to attract positive circumstances and to make good connections. One of its best qualities is tolerance. Usually, it doesn't take life too seriously in the sense that it believes in having a bit of fun. Its hunches are more often than not bang-on. It is frank, honest, optimistic and generous. It likes good cooking, its comforts. Its friendships are sincere. It is a worker and knows how to surround itself with the right people: It is appreciated at work.

-182 Opposition Moon - Saturn When Moon is in hard aspect to Saturn in the natal chart, natives need to learn to trust others more. Fear keeps them from fully enjoying personal relationships, and fear is behind the occasional rigidity that they express. When they let themselves receive nurture or care from others, an inner voice cautions them that it might not be sincere, long-lasting, or enough! There can be some reluctance about becoming a parent, but once taken on, these people don't take their responsibility lightly. Emotional reticence is the main theme of these aspects. Many people with this aspect had a lot of conditions placed on the love they received in early childhood. They tend to expect the same later in life. With hard Saturn aspects, individuals are often plagued with doubts, not only about the self but about what to expect from life itself. The problem is that expecting difficulties or negative situations creates an aura around them that perpetuates the problem. They must work hard at positive thinking and expecting more from life. Ironically, many people with hard Saturn aspects can be quite sarcastic, skeptical, and rigid in manner. This is essentially a defense mechanism designed to protect themselves from harshness in the world. It is extremely likely that they feel neglected because they perceive it in the first place, and later expect it, to be the case. There's a vicious circle going on here that can only be broken when the patterns created by negative conditioning are broken. Adjusting one's perceptions and expectations is the key to breaking out of these negative patterns. Otherwise, natives of hard Moon-Saturn aspects will live life feeling left out--attracting circumstances that perpetuate a feeling of deep unhappiness and dissatisfaction.

-149 Opposition Moon - Uranus It has a feverish, non-constructive restlessness. It is too susceptible. Its life is full of change. It is irritable and stubborn at times due to an inner restlessness that is hard to satisfy. It has difficulty concentrating on a job. Nervous strain. Its friendships are like its professional and love life - sometimes unstable. There is a strong need for closeness, but when people get too close, it gets cagey, as it values personal freedom just as much.

mercury in gemini

Mercury in Gemini people are generally quick-witted. They can come across as somewhat scattered, and this is mainly due to their eclectic interests. They seem to know a little about everything. Turn to Mercury in Gemini people for lots of facts and figures as well as broad knowledge. Their learning is a little superficial--they generally have too many interests to delve too deeply into any one. These people learn best in a stimulating environment. They get bored easily, but they are fast learners. Impressionable to a fault, Mercury in Gemini people pick up more from their environment than most, and they can process information at lightning speed! The restlessness of Gemini is especially obvious when Mercury is placed in the sign. There is a nervous energy here that is unmistakable.

Mercury in VIII It can be tormented at night. It likes research, investigations, inquiries. Studies well. It is fascinated with all that is unexplored, mysterious, taboo, secret, and psychological. Loves research and has a great mind. It wants to know the motivation behind what people do. May have a good mind for financial strategies. You speak with authority and others listen, having strong persuasive powers which should be used carefully. You tend to feel that everything we do and experience has a purpose. You have a great, investigative, and penetrating mind and you are excellent at developing strategies, as well as communicating them with others.

131 Conjunction Mercury - Mars It likes to discuss, likes polemic. It has good judgment and is determined. It is a worker and has lots of energy. It has a lively intelligence and goes to the heart of things. It is enthusiastic, incisive, and energetic in thought and speech. -18 Opposition Mercury - Saturn It is reserved, conservative, ambitious and stubborn. It might have problems expressing itself, particularly verbally, due to shyness or fear of criticism. Social success may be slow and laborious, but it does not give up easily and is patient. Whatever you say and write is self-censored to some degree. It's hard for you to pour out your emotions, no matter how emotional or needy you feel on the inside. This is because you are always aware of what others might think of you with what you say. You are careful with what you reveal to others. You make plenty of disclaimers, and often come across as negative or sarcastic without intending to. You often review conversations you have had with others, and you often kick yourself for saying something you didn't intend to, or for not saying something witty. There can be some feelings of insecurity about how you speak and communicate in general. Self-consciousness and hypersensitivity is experienced with regards to your intelligence and/or ability to get ideas across to others, especially in youth. You need plenty of positive feedback from others in order to feel more confident and less "blocked". Recognize that you are most likely harder on yourself about how you communicate than others are. Ask people close to you for an objective point of view. Chances are, they find you to be astute, intelligent, and an effective speaker or writer. We often tell our kids "don't worry about what others think", but telling this to a person with a hard Saturn aspects is not enough, nor is it realistic. They will worry. You rarely accept compliments whole-heartedly, yet you crave them and need them. Others around you tend to stop complimenting you, feeling that you either don't need compliments or don't want to hear them. Nothing can be further than the truth!

-240 Opposition Mercury - Uranus It likes polemic, to criticize and, above all, to contradict. It lacks diplomacy and tends to dissipate her energy. It cannot stay in the same place, likes change even if it means a backward step in its professional career. -23 Opposition Mercury - Neptune It makes errors of judgement, and lacks sincerity. It lets things happen, and is happy in its dreamworld. Confronted by reality, it is hesitant, incapable of being tested and falls back into its imaginary world. It might become a drug-taker.

venus in taurus

Love for Venus in Taurus centers on the physical world and creature comforts -- they revel in sensual surroundings. These people project themselves as solid and comfortable. In fact, something about their manner promises they will be satisfying lovers and partners. They need a certain measure of predictability and dependability in their relationships, even if their Sun is in the more spontaneous signs of Aries or Gemini. Venus in Taurus people can be possessive in love, and they are threatened by fast-paced, high-energy situations in the context of relationships and love. These are sensual partners who require lots of "hands-on" expressions of love. Their lovers may complain that Venus in Taurus can get a little too comfortable and settled. It's true that they resist change in their relationships, but even when they seem stuck in a groove, you can always reassure yourself by remembering that they are constant partners. Pleasing Venus in Taurus involves emphasizing your loyalty, and their worth to you. You may need to give in to them in love matters, because they won't readily give in to you! Get physical with them; do comfortable things. Avoid pushing them in love -- give them plenty of time. You will probably need to cultivate patience if you are in a relationship with Venus in Taurus. Remember to be simple and natural -- Taurus will appreciate it. Promise them a comfortable, cozy time. Love arrives slowly, without passion but with force.

Venus in VI It may be devoted to sick or poor people. Might work in a medical or social setting, where it meets its partner, who is a great help professionally. Your expressions of love and affection are practical and helpful. Being of service to a partner is especially important to you. In fact, you might go to great lengths to be available at all costs to a loved one. While you may not be flowery or showy when it comes to expressing love, you show your love by your availability, rendering services, doing practical things for a loved one, and other thoughtful "little" things. Many of you are talented at design work, as you appreciate and pay much attention to all of the little parts that make up a whole, with the goal of finding order and harmony in these systems. If you are not careful, you might pass up on true love opportunities in favor of relationships that serve a practical purpose in your life, or out of fear that you might not find better. Selling yourself short may be something that keeps you from going after what and who you want.

-141 Opposition Venus - Pluto In an attempt to control the outcome of a love relationship, or the loved one's feelings, you can turn to manipulative games. Even if you do "succeed" at it, there is never a feeling that you've won someone over for who you are, and this feeds a vicious cycle that you should try to avoid getting yourself into. Your feelings are intense, and even extreme, when it comes to love. You might attract intense relationships that have love-hate themes as a result. You are passionate when you love, definitely, but also passionate when you hate. You easily put pressure on your partner, as you expect much loyalty and honesty in your intimate relationships. Be careful not to let your relationships get to a point where your partner is superfluous and you are working through your own inner demons through him or her. Certainly, you will learn much about yourself through your relationships, and you may not always like what you see. You will meet yourself (the "darker" side or inner demons) through your relationships, and it will be critical that you recognize it as your own "material" and not project it onto your partner. Letting go of a relationship can be hard for you to do, especially if Venus is in a fixed sign (Taurus, Leo, Scorpio, or Aquarius). -152 Opposition Venus - Ascendant It goes to excess in her pleasures, frequents doubtful company. It lacks good taste. It is very spendthrift, but spreads its money around its circle. Its friends are more self-interested than sincere.

mars in cancer

This position inclines toward passive-aggressiveness. These people seem to resist change and to shy away from direct confrontations. They need to feel secure before they act. As a result, they can appear rather slow at times. Their motto is "The best offence is defense". They may appear weak to some, but they can be very strong. Their strength lies in their tenaciousness. Their sex drive can be very tied up with emotional need. At their best, they turn others on with a protective, almost therapeutic way about them. The protective nature of Cancer is best expressed when Mars in Cancer natives are turning the energy outward -- when they are being the protectors of others. Turning it inwards is when there are problems. They must avoid over-sensitivity and self-protection when it comes to sex. Some Mars in Cancer people are especially turned on by the thought of creating a baby. These people are threatened by indifference. They can be argumentative and manipulative. Their energy levels are variable, and they can appear to move rather slowly. They have defensive reactions and bursts of emotional displays when they feel cornered. With reassurance and confidence, these natives are protective, helpful, and dependable in the long haul. They prefer to handle situations peacefully and humanely.

Mars in VIII Sexually very powerful, it is also capable of tremendous focus and hard work. Sexually intense and deep. Is adept at professions requiring research, strategy, uncovering truths, and analysis. Arguments may occur over inheritance. -3 Opposition Mars - Uranus It is full of contradictions. It is original, tending to the eccentric, violent, headstrong, impatient and irascible. It fights to the bitter end to overcome hurdles, and has the strength to overcome them.

-61 Opposition Mars - Neptune This is a challenging position, as you have difficulty trusting in your ability to go after things that you want in a direct manner. It may also be that you have difficulty pinpointing what it is that you want, or that part of you doesn't feel you deserve it due to a basic lack of self-confidence. You fear rejection as well as criticism, and often use roundabout means to go after what you want. Your imagination is so powerful that it can be hard to trust your instincts. You easily imagine things going wrong, just as you easily fantasize about good things! Your desire nature is strong yet also very suggestible. You're attracted to mysteries and intrigue. Sexual experimentation is likely, as you are forever addicted to sensuality and unusual or perhaps even what many would consider perverted sexual scenarios. However, your sensual appetite might be much like a bottomless pit, and you could find yourself forever in a state of wanting more, tiring of regular sexual scenarios quickly, and endlessly searching for the next sensation. If an addiction to fantasy is present, you can find yourself constantly chasing a new and more complicated fantasy. It is only when you get into touch with your heart and discover your true desires that you realize that sensations are merely sensations--not deeply satisfying or fulfilling. Fears of sexual inadequacy can be great with this position, and you may either deny yourself as a result, or overcompensate, seeking out experiences in which you are pretty much assured positive feedback. Some of you will experience both of these extremes in your lifetime. Although you can be very creative at keeping your motives and personal agenda hidden--in fact, many of you seem on the surface of things to be quite gentle and yielding--you might eventually become resentful if you feel the need to resort to sneakiness in order to get what you want out of life. If you do feel resentment for giving up your power to someone else, learn to avoid giving it up unless you truly understand that you are doing it for yourself, and not for someone else. Resentments have a way of building and distorting themselves into ugly matter if you don't deal with them properly and directly. You are often passive-aggressive in your approach to others, and this can cause a lot of problems in your life. You are usually found chasing a dream... or a fantasy. The former is probably the better path. Adopting a more direct and assertive approach to life is something that you should be working towards. You will need to get over your feelings of guilt when you do adopt this approach. Learning to take responsibility for your actions, and to avoid blaming others for failures, is important. At your worst, you can be disorganized in your approach to life, easily procrastinating and lacking follow-through when you do begin a task. Some of the most important lessons you need to learn in life are self-control, self-assertion, and trust in yourself. At your best, you are a creative person with a powerful imagination and great stores of compassion.

24 Trine Mars - Pluto It is ambitious, has a great capacity for work, has self-confidence and goes to the end of its plans.

jupiter in aries

It attracts the most good fortune when it takes the lead, initiates, inspires, and demonstrates enthusiasm and courage. Believes in the power of positivity, that life is what you make of it. Loves competition, doing things independently. Jupiter in V It likes games and distractions. It has passion which lights up its days. It is lucky in love, but also professionally, with pleasant working conditions and duties. It loves its children and gets much enjoyment from them. 63 Trine Jupiter - Saturn It is serious, patient, honest, hard-working, orderly. Its judgment is good and it thinks things over. It pursues its objectives to the bitter end, usually knowing when to choose the right moment. It is upright and respects the law. -46 Square Jupiter - Lilith It will ruin herself in order to please its partner. On the sexual level, it will go to considerable effort to please its partner. In order to possess the partner more, it will ruin herself financially to get whatever the partner might want. In spite of all that, the partner is never entirely satisfied. It will be very disappointed in love.

saturn in sagittarius

It has its own way of thinking about a subject, it has its own ideas about things. It respects society and society’s rules guide its conduct. Weaknesses: hard, unforgiving, rigorous, insensitive and sometimes inhuman. A limited and narrow mind. Saturn in II If it is rich, will always give the impression of being in financial difficulties. If it is broke, it gives the same impression - this time with reason. It fears being without money, and may be especially cautious with possessions and finances as a result. 90 Conjunction Saturn - Uranus It knows how to be on top of the situation. It perseveres, is determined but ingenious and original. It is very practical. It proceeds slowly, but is always bound to achieve its objectives in the end.

uranus in sagittarius

It is shy, delicate but proud, bold and lively. Uranus in II It has a lot of flair. It is unreliable at work, always ready for change. It must have an out-of-the-ordinary job, in which case all goes well: otherwise, it will often change jobs and will have financial problems.

neptune in capricorn

It is discerning, wise and sensible. Neptune in II It may prefer not to attach too much value to money, but if this is overdone, there can be quite a few problems in life concerning money and ownership. It might make money through artistic pursuits, but must avoid the potential pitfalls of putting too much faith in ideas that don't have enough grounding in reality. Financial advice is important to obtain.

84 Sextile Neptune - Pluto

pluto in scorpio

Great sexual activity. [LMAO THIS IS LITERALLY ALL IT SAID??? I’M LAUGHIN] 7 Conjunction Pluto - AscendantIt has will-power and ambition, and likes to have its own way.

#*birthchart #about singularity #astrology

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higuchimon · 4 years

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[fanfic] Rewards of Losing: Chapter 6

I wish I had a spare D-Gazer. Kei could have used it to keep in touch with him. As it was, Mizael had to wait for any sort of word that could be passed through the plants. That could take a while. Plants listened and communicated among themselves and Healers and Healer Cats, but getting them to pass a coherent message from one to the other, very quickly, wasn’t the easiest to accomplish.

So Mizael waited in the Night Garden, nervous. He didn’t think that Marufuji would hurt the Healer Cat. But tracking him down, if he were truly as dangerous as Kei thought he was, put the Cat at a deeper risk.

I should have gone. Mizael couldn’t be as well-hidden as the Healer Cat was but he still wished he had. The more he thought about Marufuji, the more he genuinely wanted to talk to him.

But it would probably be best if he didn’t. A few hours still remained until their dinner, and that would be the best time to say anything. Perhaps see if he felt more inclined to add XYZ to his deck or to stop doing whatever it was that Kei knew he was doing and Mizael was starting to get an idea of what he was doing.

He’d learned a few things from the magazines. The problem there was that the magazines didn’t know everything. They’d only told him that a handful of talented duelists, none of them Healers or Firestarters, vanished over the last few weeks. According to Kei, it started when Marufuji came to town from somewhere.

Did it start because of him? Or is he trying to find out who did it? Mizael couldn’t be sure and he wanted to bring it up to Marufuji. Kei suspected him, saying only that it was a cat’s intuition. Cats were clever creatures by any metric. Mizael wasn’t going to dismiss it out of hand.

Something is indeed strange about him and his deck. Not a single XYZ creature in it. You’d think he’d never even heard of it before coming here. Jinlong observed, settling down on one of the benches near Mizael.

“Is that possible?” Mizael murmured. It didn’t feel like it should be. He couldn’t quite get his head wrapped around the thought of not knowing what XYZ was.

Anything is possible. The question is, is it likely? Jinlong shrugged, long white braid flicking as he did. Perhaps. Fusion isn’t an unknown summoning method. But I haven’t seen anyone use it in a very long time.

Mizael nodded slowly. Jinlong didn’t often speak of what he’d seen in his life and he knew very well that the old dragon counted his years in eons. That brought up another thought – why would such an old style be used? Where could they have come from that knew only that and nothing else?

He wanted to ask, but as he did, a soft whisper came from the blossoms. He turned towards them, focusing his awareness. They didn’t say something that could be construed as a word, but a sensation – Kei had entered Marufuji’s apartment.

Kei wasn’t supposed to get Marufuji’s attention, only to watch him and see what he did when he was alone. Granted, right now was probably the safest time to do so, since he would more than likely spend it opening his new packs. A Cat could keep itself concealed very easily so going in there wasn’t wrong. But it made Mizael nervous regardless.

He tried his best to keep himself calm, taking another turn around the Garden. The Night Garden looked at the best at the night, but it was lovely during the day as well. There were a few places that Firestarters liked to frequent and he wandered that way now. Jinlong paced him, shifting easily back between his dragon and human forms.

You must trust the Cat, Mizael. His instincts are very good.

Mizael nodded. He seldom spoke aloud when it was just him and Jinlong, unless they were in his own apartment. He didn’t want anyone thinking he wasn’t entirely there. He could protect himself, and Healers were allowed a certain amount of oddity regardless. But he did have a business to run, and other people staring at him irritated him.

Jinlong glanced ahead and Mizael’s gaze followed his, sensing the presence of a powerful Healer – and one that was bonded. The faint flicker of tension in his shoulders eased when he became aware of that. He relaxed even more when he saw who it was.

“Christopher,” he acknowledged. The older duelist strolled forward, returning Mizael’s nod, silver hair flashing in the afternoon sunlight.

“Mizael. How have you been?” Christopher Arclight, one of the most powerful and highest ranking Healers in Heartland, had every flower in the Garden leaning towards him, murmuring whispers of welcome in the soft language of leaf and light.

Mizael shrugged. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to let anyone else know about what was going on with Marufuji just yet. He didn’t even know everything that was going on.

“Nothing much. What about you?”

“The same.” Christopher settled down on one of the benches, a vine from a nearby tree winding around his shoulders. “Have you had any interesting duels lately?”

Sometimes Mizael wondered exactly what Chris knew or didn’t know. He had a habit of not telling everything that was on his mind. That annoyed Mizael far more than he would have ever allowed Chris to know.

“One,” he admitted. He considered before continuing. “And I should have one this weekend as well.”

Chris raised one silver eyebrow. “Oh?” That single word invited Mizael to tell everything else that might have been on his mind. Mizael shrugged.

“A couple of strange duelists. They use that old summoning method, Fusion. Not XYZ.” His lips twitched. “Though I’m trying to get one of them to change that.”

“Teaching someone XYZ? I thought that was my job,” Chris teased, eyes glistening in amusement. He was indeed a very fine dueling teacher; he’d taught Kaito and others. He even worked as a part time instructor at various duel schools, never committing to one of them, but moving through the ones in Heartland.

Mizael shrugged. “I found him first? Besides, he’s a little older than most of your students.” He settled down onto one of the other benches. The flowers and trees didn’t respond as strongly to him as they did to Christopher but they did wind towards him. Day or night, plants knew a Healer. “I’m having dinner with him tonight – and he’s a Firestarter.”

Again Chris’s eyebrow twitched upward. “Oh?” Amusement rippled all through his voice. “Are you finally courting someone?”

Mizael’s eyes widened and he shook his head. “He’s already courting a Healer. I met him here yesterday.” Mizael tapped the sunflower blossom nearest him. “You can ask what they think of him.”

Chris glanced towards the vine that wound over his shoulders, eyes taking on the distant expression of a Healer communicating with the foliage. When he refocused, he turned towards Mizael.

“The plants here don’t like him.”

That wasn’t usual. Plants normally liked every Healer, even if humans didn’t. Mizael focused his attention on the sunflower.

The Healer that was here with me yesterday. Do you remember him?

The one from distant lands? The one whose heart is cast in shadow?

That wasn’t something he’d heard before. The one who watched while I dueled his to-be Firestarter. He did not use those words; plants didn’t understand words as humans or Cats did. Instead, he recalled what Yuuri and Ryou looked like and the sunflower bobbed slowly.

Yes. Him. The other Healer is correct. We do not like him. We will not like him.

All of the plants that Mizael could see twitched and shivered in a wind that wasn’t there. He could hear the whispers rising up from all of them now.

Healer.

Tainted.

Wrong.

Different words from different plants. Mizael’s eyes met Chris’s in worry, even more so as another word rose up from the depths of the Garden, the oldest and wisest of the plants, that had grown there since the Garden had first been planted ages ago.

Dark.

Yuuri carefully nipped at one edge of the scarlet blossoms, taking a few moments to examine it. Exactly what he wanted – all he needed to do now was seal it into glass and hang it from a chain. Then it would be gifted to Marufuji. Then it would watch and he wouldn’t worry at all about his future Firestarter’s fidelity.

And if he had the chance, he would feed both that too pretty blond Healer and that pesky Cat to one of his flytraps. They needed good strong meat and he’d always rather enjoyed feeding Healers to his plants. The Healers always screamed so sweetly.

The plants tended to find them extra tasty as well. But his plants were special, just like he was.

Finished with the red salvia for the moment, he let it rest, and wandered along his garden paths deep in thought. He hadn’t yet received any information from the Professor about what to do, but he didn’t really need it. He had his own plans.

Deep in the center of his garden, he slipped a small square of paper out of his inner pocket and regarded it carefully. Pulsating veins crisscrossed it and he could sense all the power of the souls locked within.

I should go get a few more for this.

Tempting as it was, he wasn’t going to try to seal that blond Healer into it, and he didn’t dare take the risk of doing so with a Cat. He’d only taken the souls of duelists and Cats seemed to be too different, even if they could wield the power that he did.

But there were plenty of other places where he could locate duelists who he could defeat and set into this. He considered for a few moments before he tapped at the controls on his duel disk. Dimension jumping was only meant for serious business. It wasn't to be used for pleasure jaunts.

That was what the Professor and the scientists who’d created the technology to do so kept telling them. Yuuri didn’t care that what he considered serious business they wouldn’t. The fact he also took a deep and satisfying pleasure in what he did didn’t matter, not to him.

He appeared in the Synchro dimension, in a small town far from the central area of the City, out in the country. He’d never been here before, but he’d studied the co ordinates and the information that their spies brought back. This place was so out of the way that there were perhaps half a dozen actual duelists in a town that consisted of a scant thousand. “Town” wasn’t even the right word, in his opinion. Village would probably work better.

Or in terms of more accuracy, a playground. A playground for him.

He strolled through the streets casually, keeping an eye out for one of those duelists. They weren’t scheduled to invade here for a long time yet, not until after they’d squashed the entire XYZ dimension under their boots. That would take a long time; each world contained millions, if not billions, of people.

So many to defeat in duels. So many to card. Perhaps even a few to – pay with.

He’d not forgotten the news that Dennis brought him, not for a moment. For the longest time he’d yearned for someone he could – entertain himself with. He’d wavered on if it would be his future Firestarter or not. He needed, wanted, someone that he could break, but not someone who would break easily.

Someone whose torment would entertain him. Someone whose screams could echo for ages – and he could ensure that, at least. He might not be the best when it came to the physical aspects of Healing but he knew more than enough to ensure that any captive he chose stayed alive for a very long time.

The idea of taking someone who belonged to a counterpart of his remained quite a juicy tidbit as well. How close were they? So many questions that remained unanswered.

He would answer some of them soon enough. For now though, he had another goal.

There: a target. A young man some years older than he was, fiddling with a duel disk. Good; Yuuri wasn’t fond of the dueling on motorcycles that he’d seen them do here. That was why he’d chosen this particular town. No one here had a D-Wheel. It was all the old-fashioned style here.

His lips cracked into a beaming smile that dripped the need to cause someone else pain. He strolled over.

“Hello there. I’m new in town.” His smile glowed even brighter. “Would you care for a duel?”

Ryou tried not to think too hard about the cards that rested in his pocket. He had enough to think about right now, what with the dinner with Mizael looming. But the cards, and that one single one, Cyber Nova Dragon, seemed to burn inside of him as no fire ever had.

Firestarter. The fire that he’d lit in his fireplace hummed at him as he prepared his afternoon tea. Firestarter.

Ryou held back a sigh. That could only mean there was trouble of some kind. He’d heard a few faint noises but chalked them up to the wind – more because he didn’t want to think about what else they could be.

They probably weren’t the wind.

Healer Cat and Healer’s Plant arguing.

Fire didn’t always laugh. The fire laughed now. Ryou sighed again and finished making his tea before he turned around and entered his tiny living room. The moment that he turned he could see it. The cat, lean and sleek and as black as midnight, sat in front of the table and glared at the flytrap Yuuri had left on it.

“What are you doing here?” Ryou asked, coming over to his chair. “I didn’t invite you in.”

“I’m a Cat. I don’t need an invitation. You’re my Firestarter. I very much don’t need an invitation.” The Cat said calmly, not taking his eyes off of the flytrap. His tail twitched lazily. “My name is Kei. Do you accept that I’m real now?”

“I don’t have much of a choice, do I?” Ryou took a sip of his tea. “You

still didn’t tell me what you’re doing here.”

“There are many answers to that.” Slowly the Cat – Kei – turned to regard him with deep gray eyes. “But why don’t you tell me why you’re here?”

Ryou tensed. “Why do you ask?” Did this Cat know where he was from? Was he relaying this to someone else somehow? He watched his words.

“Because you’re my Firestarter.” Kei regarded him. “You need balance. You’re out of it very badly.”

At once Ryou shook his head. “I have Yuuri.” Bonding to Yuuri would balance out his flames. They were of equal strength. That was what Healers and Firestarters did for one another.

“No, you don’t. He’s not the right one for you.” Kei did not move. “I am. One of two, at least.”

Ryou did not need to ask who the other one was. But he shook his head. “I’m not going to cheat.”

“Why are you two courting one another?” Kei asked. “Because you do not like one another. You do not respect one another. You are both powerful but there is more to that for a true bond – and you know that.”

He wanted to deny that, but the words struck deep inside of his heart. He pressed his lips together and shook his head.

“Why does it matter to you?”

“As I said. You're my Firestarter. Kei slowly got up and walked over to Ryou, those intense eyes never blinking. “I want what is best for you – and who is best for you. That isn’t him. I don’t think he’s the best for anyone.”

Ryou’s shoulders tightened. “Yuuri’s my Healer, even if we’re not bonded yet. And we will be soon.” It all depended on how soon the war ended, and it hadn’t even begun yet.

The noise Kei made could best be described as not convinced. His tail twitched for a few seconds. “We’ll see about that.”

“You can’t stay here. I’m not yours.” Ryou wondered what Yuuri would do if he saw that there was not only a Healer Cat in there – one Ryou had been warned away from – but those XYZ cards. The cards could be excused – they were there for research purposes and minor interest only, not because Ryou was going to use them. But the Cat? The Cat whose power was so clearly visible to Ryou’s Firestarter eyes?

Oh, no. Yuuri was jealous and selfish. Ryou knew that very well. It would not be allowed.

“I disagree. But I won’t stay – you’ll see me again later, but I won’t stay tonight.” Kei chuckled. “You’re not properly set up for me here yet.”

Ryou's first instinct was just to say that there wasn’t any way that he was going to ever be ready for Kei. He sealed his lips though and shook his head harder. He wanted the Cat gone but the words refused to come to his lips.

Finally he closed his eyes for a few seconds, listening to the whisper of the flame, and found other words.

“Why do you want to be with me? I won’t be here much longer. And I can’t take you with me.��

Kei’s head brushed against Ryou’s hand. “Because you are mine. Every Cat knows their partner when we see them. You are a powerful Firestarter – more so than you know.” He said nothing for a few minutes. Ryou was about to ask something else, but the words faded as Kei continued. He paled with each extra word he heard. “And you will need me because you may become a Frostflame – and you are not ready for that.”

To Be Continued

Notes: Yuuri is off being a very bad boy. He had to make Super Fusion somehow, didn’t he? It’s not like you get that card in a booster pack.

#fanfic #higuchimon writes #ygobb2020 #ygo gx #ygo zexal #ygo arc-v #marufuji ryou #mizael #yuuri (Arc-V)#chapters: rewards of losing #au: healer firestarter

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eternalyouthrenewaltrails-blog · 7 years

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Eternal Youth Renewal

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bibleteachingbyolga · 4 years

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Forgiveness. Even the word can make us bristle. Past wounds instinctively spring to mind, making forgiveness feel impossible (or at least unnatural). What feels natural is dwelling on the horrible things that others have done to us, rehearsing their wrongs and plotting our retaliation, if only in our imagination.

I know. I have nursed my anger as I have lingered over the ways people have hurt me. A close friend who ended our long-standing relationship over a misunderstanding. A woman whom I mentored for years who slandered me to others. My husband who unexpectedly left me for someone else. The doctor whose careless mistake ended my son’s life.

I remember sitting in a counselor’s office, talking about a deep betrayal. When the counselor mentioned forgiveness, I was furious. It felt like he was suggesting I offer that person a “get out of jail free” card, which was unthinkable after all I had suffered. Just hearing the word made me angry. Why should I forgive? Especially when the person didn’t even seem sorry.

But as my counselor unpacked the biblical principles of forgiveness, I couldn’t ignore his words. I realized I had not fully understood what forgiveness was — and what it was not.

What Forgiveness Is and Is Not

There are many definitions of forgiveness, but a simple one is to surrender the right to hurt others in response to the way they’ve hurt us. Forgiveness means refusing to retaliate or hold bitterness against people for the ways they have wounded us. It is a unilateral act — not conditional on the person being repentant or even willing to acknowledge what they’ve done.

Forgiveness is not saying that sin doesn’t matter. It is not approving of what the other person has done, minimizing the offense, or denying we’ve been wronged. Forgiveness is acknowledging that the other person has sinned against us and may never be able to make it right. The apostle Paul writes, “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32). If God in Christ forgave us, then forgiving someone cannot mean diminishing the wrong they’ve done. God could never do that with sin and remain just.

Forgiveness doesn’t always mean reconciliation or restoration. And it does not require restoring trust or inviting the people who hurt us back into a relationship. Forgiveness is unconditional, but meaningful reconciliation and restoration are conditional (in the gospel and in human relationships) on the offender’s genuine repentance, humble willingness to accept the consequences of his actions, and a desire by both parties to work on the relationship.

Forgiving people also doesn’t mean they won’t experience consequences for their sin. When we forgive them, however, we leave those consequences to God, who says, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay” (Romans 12:19). This doesn’t mean we may not pursue legal action, if warranted, against someone who has hurt us. In certain circumstances, that may be vital for the rehabilitation of the offender or for protecting other potential victims.

Forgiveness is costly. In the Bible, it involves shedding blood (Hebrews 9:22). Sacrifice. Death. Honestly, the first step of forgiveness still often feels like death. I want to cling to my right to be angry and often resent being asked to give that up. It all seems so unfair. My flesh still demands some type of retribution.

My resistance shows me I need God’s help to understand forgiveness and to truly forgive.

Where Do We Begin?

I have often had to say, Lord, I don’t want to forgive now, but could you make me willing to forgive? You have forgiven all my sins and I know anything I forgive others is small by comparison (Matthew 18:21–35). But I cannot do this without you. Please help me.

Often, I have to repeat this prayer until God changes my heart. When he does, he usually helps me see the wounds of the person who has hurt me — wounds that do not diminish, justify, or excuse the offense, but that do soften my attitude toward the person.

Once I am engaged in wanting to forgive, I begin the process of forgiveness by naming what has happened and all the negative repercussions from the person’s actions and words. I include everything. What I’ve lost. What’s been hard. How it’s made me feel. I want to know what I’m letting go of before I forgive so I can move forward, knowing I have counted the cost.

For most offenses, forgiveness is both an initial decision to let go of bitterness as well as a long, ongoing process. When offenses come to mind and painful memories resurface, I must intentionally stop rehearsing them and ask the Lord to help me release those thoughts and practice forgiveness.

Why Forgiveness Is Vital to Joy

For years I didn’t realize the importance of forgiveness and somehow assumed it was optional; now I see it as a command. “As the Lord has forgiven you,” Colossians 3:13 says, “so you also must forgive.”

So to truly forgive those who have wronged us, we must first receive God’s forgiveness, acknowledging our need before him, which empowers us to forgive others. Christian forgiveness is vertical before it is horizontal. Throughout Scripture, our Lord intertwines his forgiveness of us with our forgiveness of others (Matthew 6:14–15). And like all of his commands, it is always for our good.

Forgiving those who have hurt us sets us free. It keeps bitterness from taking root, bitterness that would defile us and everyone around us (Ephesians 4:31). When we cling to resentment, we unknowingly give our offender ongoing power over our hearts, which keeps us enslaved to our anger. This prison we have created pulls us away from our Lord because we cannot hold on to bitterness and hold on to God.

Correspondingly, forgiving those who have wronged us releases the hold of bitterness on us. God, who has forgiven our enormous debt, gives us the power to forgive others. It is his power, not ours. This is the miracle of Christian forgiveness: when we forgive, Christ does something profound in us and for us. Those wounds inflicted by others firmly graft us into Christ, the vine, and his life flows all the more powerfully through us. The process unleashes God’s power in our lives in an unparalleled way, making forgiveness one of the most life-changing steps we ever take.

Forgiveness, Freedom, and Peace

Joy and sorrow often coexist, but joy and bitterness cannot. Bitterness and unforgiveness rob our lives of vitality, peace, and the refreshing joy of God’s presence.

We see the power of forgiveness and grace in the lives of Joseph (Genesis 50:15–21) and Job (Job 42:7–10), who both forgave those who wronged them. And we see the hold of unforgiveness and rage on others like Joash, who murdered the priest who disagreed with him (2 Chronicles 24:20–22), and even on Jonah, who was angry at God’s compassion (Jonah 4:1–3). Being able to forgive not only changes our present; it changes our future. When we forgive, we can begin walking in freedom and joy.

I don’t know where you are in your journey of forgiveness. Perhaps the wound for you is still fresh, and you need time to process all that’s happened. Maybe you’ve been holding on to bitterness for a long time, and God is asking you to let go. If that’s you, I encourage you to pray. To trust God. To forgive your offender. You won’t regret it.

And after you have forgiven, after you’ve been released from the prison of bitterness, you may be amazed at how quickly God begins to flood your life with the joy and peace you lost.

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higuchimon · 4 years

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[fanfic] Rewards of Losing: Chapter 5

Ryou had the best of intentions to avoid Mizael. He would remain loyal to Yuuri. He would remain loyal to Academia. For those reasons, the following day he set off on a long walk through one of the business districts of Heartland. His goal was to reach one of the areas where duelists gathered, observe them, and select the most talented one that he saw to send his next challenge to. He made a point to choose a direction opposite to the Garden where he and Yuuri encountered Mizael.

In short, he did all that he was aware that he could do to avoid the blond Healer.

Now that he knew what to look for, he saw Healer Cats and Fire Cats with their partners. Once or twice he saw one of them glance in his direction, but it seemed no more than idle curiosity. Certainly they didn’t come over to talk, for which he found himself profoundly grateful.

None of them seemed to be that Healer Cat that he’d met before. That was even more reason to be grateful. He needed to stay as undercover as he could and the thought of railing at a Cat and demanding that it leave him be wasn’t very undercover.

Most of the duelists he saw here were children, young ones in their teens. Some of them were very good at what they did, but they weren’t the level of warrior that he was looking for. He stopped to watch a few of them, but always moved onward, searching for those who were beyond good. He wanted great. He wanted amazing. He wanted someone who could be his equal.

He saw none of them that came to his standards, and eventually wended his way into a small cluster of businesses quite a distance from where he’d started. None of these caught his proper attention – until he stopped and stared at one n particular.

A card store. He hadn’t shopped at a card store in ages. Not since he was a child, before he’d enrolled in Academia. After that, he’d had access to all of the cards Academia had, and had slowly built his deck by purchasing cards from there. It had been so very long since he had actually browsed for cards. He had purchased a D-Gazer and Duel Disk when he’d arrived here, for his ongoing commitment to blend in, but that was different.

He knew that he didn’t need to. But he stepped inside anyway, curiosity overwhelming his reluctance, and glanced around.

What he saw first were rows and rows of cards, many that he’d seen before, either from packs he bought himself as a child or ones that he saw in Academia’s records, or seen others playing. There were even a few that he had played himself – seeing Cyber Dragon there was more than a little startling.

Not Cyber End Dragon or Cyberdark Dragon, he reassured himself. Those were Fusion cards. They would not be here in the XYZ dimension.

“Welcome to – oh, it’s you.” A voice that he hadn’t expected spoke up. Ryou jerked his attention away from the cards to stare behind the counter where Mizael stood.

“What are you doing here?” The question fell from his lips without thought. Mizael shrugged.

“I work here.” His gaze flickered around. “Your Healer’s not with you?”

“He had to go home for a while. He’ll be back this weekend.” Ryou considered making an excuse and leaving. No, that would be a trifle too suspicious. Healers and Firestarters weren’t bound to go everywhere together, even in the courting stage. He was only here to look at cards and that wasn’t anything other than research.

Mizael nodded. Then a small smile flickered across his features. “I was hoping to see you regardless. I think I found something that you might like.”

Ryou’s eyes narrowed briefly. “What do you mean?” He refused to take more than a few steps past the door, not wanting to get any closer to Mizael. He didn’t think Mizael would do anything, but he wasn’t going to take that kind of chance.

Mizael dug around behind the counter. “I know you use Cyber Dragons and I remembered something I saw in Duel Magazine. So when I came in to work today, I looked for this.”

He set a card down on the counter, and against his better judgment, Ryou came closer. He stared down at it, eyes growing wider and wider with each moment.

“Cyber Dragon Nova,” he murmured the words. An XYZ Monster – an XYZ Cyber Dragon. He’d never seen anything like that in his life. The monster itself took several bits of other Cyber Dragons – he could identify Cyber End Dragon’s wings and Cyber Laser Dragon’s tail. There were several other pieces that all blended to create this magnificent creature.

It should have looked like an unholy amalgamation of pieces of his monsters. It didn’t. It was beautiful in its own way, and the longer he stared at it, the more he could feel there was awareness there as well.

“You can have it if you want it. Free of charge. I’ve never seen anyone else who uses Cyber Dragons, so I don’t think anyone’s going to buy it.” Mizael considered for a few seconds. “Well, there is something that you could do.”

Ryou’s head snapped up. “What do you mean?” His instincts flared, demanding that he leave, that he not listen to this for another moment. He wasn’t going to cheat on Yuuri. He wanted nothing to do with XYZ monsters.

But Mizael only smiled at him, a smile that had nothing of deceit or pain to it, or the desire to possess a strong Firestarter. “Have dinner with me. I beat you in a duel once – buying you dinner is the least I can do. It’s not a courting thing. I know you’re already courting Yuuri. I can show you places where you could take him, as well.”

Ryou mentally worried at the notion. But not for long.

“When?” That card called to him. He could put it in no other way. He had never seen anything like it before and while he would never, ever use it – he was a Fusion user until the day that he died – but he wanted to own it. If cards had voices, that one whispered in his ear and demanded to stay with him.

Mizael smiled. “Are you busy tonight? I can pick you up around six?”

Ryou tried not to let his tension show at that. “Where can I meet you, instead?”

Mizael didn’t seem bothered at all by that. He named a place, one that Ryou had heard of before. He’d heard good reports about it despite not ever being there himself.

“All right. I’ll see you tonight.” He glanced down at the card as Mizael pushed it towards him.

“Keep it. There are other cards you’d probably want to go with it, to truly make an XYZ deck. There was a recent expansion pack released that focused on the Cyber archetype and it had quite a few cards that could be useful there.” Mizael tapped his fingers thoughtfully. “But that was the only one of them I could find.” He gestured to the packs on display. “If you bought some of these you’d probably find them in there.”

Ryou eyed the packs. He knew that he didn’t want to use XYZ. But he also knew that he needed to keep his cover, and everyone used XYZ here. Seeing XYZ cards with his archetype sparked something deep inside of him. He wasn’t certain right now if it were rage – or curiosity.

He won’t need to know. The invasion is coming soon. He’ll either be carded or captured very soon.

He gathered up half a dozen of the packs. “We’ll see,” he said, as noncommittally as he could. It had been a long time since he’d whiled away an afternoon looking at new cards.

By the time Yuuri woke the morning after he returned from XYZ, he’d calmed down to a degree that his rage wasn’t setting off all of his flowers. He also had an idea, and as soon as he’d dealt with breakfast and feeding his plants, he settled into his workroom.

He might have stayed there without speaking to another soul all day if casual footsteps didn’t come from outside, and the outer plants whispered to him who was coming. He pulled himself out of his work in time to answer when Dennis spoke.

“Do I even want to know what you’re doing?”

“Making a little something for my future Firestarter,” Yuuri said, brushing his fingers across the scarlet blossoms. “I don’t quite trust him over there by himself all the time. So he won’t be.”

Dennis wrinkled his nose as he stared. “That’s red salvia, isn’t it?”

“That it is.” Yuuri caressed it again. It would not be easy to get this to do what he wanted, since salvia was quite the stubborn plant. But he wasn’t a Healer for nothing. “You’re learning plants very well. Do you remember the meaning of this one?”

Dennis tilted his head, settling down on one of the couches in the nursery as he did. “Not really.”

Of course he hadn’t. That was too much to expect. But he was neither Healer nor Firestarter and so it couldn’t be expected of him.

“The meaning depends on the color. But red means forever mine.” Yuuri smiled. “I don’t want him to forget and start eyeing someone else.”

Dennis laughed. “But it would be different if you found someone else, wouldn’t it?”

In a breath Yuuri stared at him. “What do you mean? He’s the strongest Firestarter that I’ve met. No one else would be worthy of me.” No one else could be as useful as Marufuji would be once they bonded.

Dennis’s grin fit to split his face as he lounged back, arms spread over the back of the couch. “I was in XYZ too, you know.”

Of course Yuuri knew that. He’d known for months about Dennis’s spying trip. It wasn’t the same as why Marufuji there there; the Cyber Dragon duelist searched for powerful duelists to card and dispose of before the invasion began. Dennis searched for what was necessary to begin the invasion itself.

“And?” He bit the word off sharply. He wanted Dennis to get to the point, if that were possible.

“The Professor wanted me to find a girl. You’d think we had enough of them, but apparently he wants one in particular.” Dennis shrugged. “I did find her, though. And even better for you – I found her brother.”

Dennis leaned forward, eyes bright and sharp. Very few saw him like this, most believing his jester’s mask. Yuuri knew better. Yuuri had always known better.

“Her name is Kurosaki Ruri. His is Kurosaki Shun.”

The name meant nothing to Yuuri. He waited for more and Dennis didn’t fail to deliver.

“If Marufuji’s a perfect ten, then I’d say Kurosaki is at least a nine and a half.” He waved one hand. “But I think you’d be more interested in him for another reason.”

Yuuri tapped his foot ever so lightly. He’d already put a lot of work into Marufuji and he wasn’t going to let it slide without a far better reason than he’d been given so far.

“He has a best friend, named Yuuto. Never caught his family name. But this Yuuto -” Dennis let loose with a predatory smile. “He has different hair and eyes. But he looks just like you. And he’s a Healer, too. I think they’re courting one another.” He waved one hand carelessly. “Not that that would matter to you, would it?”

Yuuri pressed his lips together. He’d never seen anyone who looked like him before. He wasn’t at all certain that he liked the idea, though he wasn’t sure of what to do about it.

How dare he have my face? He fought to keep his anger under control. The plants all around swayed and waved and wriggled, however, making it very plain that he wasn’t doing a very good job o it. He drew in a breath and shrugged.

“I’d have to see him for myself to be certain.” Truth to tell, he’d never seen a Firestarter as strong as Marufuji. The thought that such a one could exist intrigued him. “Do you know what kind of a duelist he is?”

“I haven’t had the chance to talk to either of them. The Professor didn’t want me to get too close.” Dennis shrugged. “But I did see them both dueling. I believe he uses Raid Raptors.”

That meant next to nothing to Yuuri. He would have to research when the opportunity presented itself.

Then another point occurred to him and the smile on his face mirrored that of Dennis. “Does this mean the invasion will be starting soon?” Oh, he hoped so. To see the carnage and destruction that would unfold – Yuuri could hardly wait.

“It could very well be.” Dennis gave an eloquent shrug of his shoulders. “You’d have to ask the Professor about that.”

Yuuri nodded before he turned his attention back to the flower before him. He needed a sprig of this sealed in crystal; even if he chose to take a different Firestarter, until he made that decision, he wasn’t going to give up on Marufuji. And that meant keeping an eye on him, no matter what.

There were no better eyes for a Healer than a flower they’d crafted with their own hands.

Kei ghosted along through the streets, keeping his attention on Marufuji Ryou. The Firestarter hadn’t noticed him, which wasn’t a surprise. If they’d been bonded already, he would have known. But right now, Kei was more cat than Healer so far as Ryou’s senses would be aware. At least until Kei wanted him to feel his power, as he had the previous night.

The Healer Cat already knew where Ryou lived. He could have hurried on to beat him there. But he wanted to track the other and ensure that he didn’t take any turns anywhere else. Ryou remained doing things Kei would prefer that he not do, which meant Kei wanted to keep an eye on him.

Cats watched. It was what they did.

But this time it appeared that Ryou had nothing more nor less on his mind than going back to the little apartment and curling up with the new cards that he’d purchased. Kei approved. He was a creature of XYZ and the more that Ryou connected to XYZ cards, the better Kei liked it.

There was another reason he watched, a reason that ghosted along beside of Ryou, and cast sharp, amused glances towards Kei from time to time. Ryou couldn’t see, of course. Perhaps he might one day, but right now he seemed focused only on getting back home.

Cyber Nova Dragon tendered a curious look now towards their new duelist. They hadn’t been officially added to Ryou’s deck but when that happened, they would be able to interact with the other spirits of it. Kei could feel those spirits all but straining at the barriers between decks and the human world, wanting to know more about Cyber Nova Dragon.

Probably wanting to know more about him as well. There had never been a Cat born that couldn’t see spirits and spirits all knew that. They knew when someone could see them and when they couldn’t.

That was one of the reasons Kei knew something was going wrong in the city. There weren’t as many spirits as there had been six months ago, and when he could speak to some of the stray ones, they knew that friends of theirs who were involved with duelists vanished.

It had all started around the time that Ryou himself came to town. Kei watched him for days before realizing he was the one responsible for it. He still wasn’t certain of why but he would make certain it stopped. He just wasn’t certain of how.

He settled himself outside of the apartment building and stared up at the window he knew was Ryou’s. He could see a familiar figure moving behind the curtains. He waited until he knew the moment was right, then leaped upwards, claws catching on the balcony, and pulled himself up onto it. He took a few moments to get his fur back in order before he moved forward and nudged at the balcony door. It came open easily; this was a place built for Firestarters and Healers, and several of those had Cats of their own. All of the doors were built so that those of the four footed persuasion could open them.

The moment he crossed into it, he could feel the presence of something that other Healer, the one from wherever Ryou was from. Not as strong as if he were there himself, but something of his was. Kei sniffed until he spied the flytrap on the table, then strolled over there casually.

What do you want, Cat? The flytrap murmured in that subtle language of leaf and shadow that all plants spoke. Kei spoke back in the tongue of Healers.

I could ask you the same thing.

If it had possessed the ability, the flytrap would have drawn itself up and sniffed. Guarding the one my creator chooses.

Kei sniffed, tail twitching. He is my Firestarter as well.

The flytrap wriggled the tiniest bit. Most plants weren’t capable of independent movement but those created and bred by Healers tended to not strictly obey the rules.

No! He is Yuuri-sama’s! It is decided!

Kei’s tail lashed slowly from side to side, claws flexing. It’s his decision and no one else’s. But he still knew that Ryou was his Firestarter – it might take time for Ryou to believe that, but he needed a Healer or a Healer Cat. So far as Kei knew or cared, both he and Mizael were far more suitable than anyone else.

Together they could handle what Ryou would become. He didn’t trust that this “Yuuri” person could.

To Be Continued

Notes: So now the invasion looms closer and Ryou has his first XYZ card – which was actually the original plot seed for this. That Ryou found the XYZ Cyber Dragons in Heartland and became intrigued, which led to him meeting Mizael and eventually changing sides. Then I rewrote it all in this AU where things are a little different.

And yes, Kei is arguing with a plant. Healers and Healer Cats can do that. Firestarters have been known to have long-standing arguments with fire. Don’t even ask about the situation with volcanoes.

Lastly, now Yuuri knows Shun exists. You may hear my evil cackling from here.

#Fanfic.#higuchimon write #ygobb2020 #ygo gx #ygo zexal #ygo arc-v #marufuji ryou #yuuri (Arc-V)#mizael #chapters: rewards of losing #au: healer firestarter

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