#youtube just recced me last order for the first time and i am once again going insane

[superfluouskeys]

dino release official audios of your solo songs challenge!!!!!

[xcziel]

get to know me

tagged by @vishcount (thank you!!) and i'll follow her format bc making two posts seems a little much - i'm not that interesting!!

(hilariously, this post shows up as blocked for me bc of the tag 'joker' which? tumblr?????)

Part I

name: i'm an internet old, so i never use my real name online, mainly because it's spelled in a very unique way (thanks mom & dad) - i mean like, if you googled it you could find my home address in a few seconds kind of unique - but also, though i do enjoy the spelling, i actually don't like it very much when it's said out loud? (is it weird that my name written down is 'me', but my name aloud has never felt like 'me'?) always wanted a nickname but never acquired one :/

at any rate, i've had the username xcziel forever and i go by that 😊 (pronounced ex-SEE-zee-el, similar to etc. or ex-SET-er-ah! thanks @xia-xueyi for pointing out that it can be confusing to guess!)

rest behind a cut because it got long!

pronouns: she/her

star sign: i don't ... really *do* astrology? but technically saggitarius

height: 5'4" (162.5cm for the intl folks)

time: 5:43pm but these thing take me forever to type out so ... ???

birthday: playing the 'internet old' card again .. but it floats around american Thanksgiving depending on the year

nationality: american

fave bands/groups/solo artists: lumping these together because i just .. don't really do music much anymore. if you had asked me this back in my 20s i'm sure i would have had all kinds of opinions and things to share, but these days i actually mostly prefer to listen music from when i was a kid. part of it is also that as an old, i prefer to buy my music, even digitally, and i don't really use spotify - which does so much to enable diverse music exploration i admit! but i mostly have earplugs in all the time and music does not work for me as background noise, so...

so i guess my answer would be 70s disco and classic rock and 80s new wave artists? i've never liked any artist's entire discography and prefer greatest hits-type compilations, but i guess duran duran and def leppard and depeche mode would be considered formative? i love new order but specifically late 80s new order, NOT joy division. the only concert t-shirt i've ever worn was the cult? i loved sonic temple but i can't listen to most of it anymore though i still adore love removal machine. i think maybe if you get old enough, for some of us there's TOO MUCH good music and we can't pare it down anymore

song stuck in your head: jamiroquai's canned heat

last movie you watched: re: the above, i re-watched center stage, the 2000 one with zoe saldana and the mandy moore soundtrack, bc it's a happy comfort movie and i just got a digital version

last show you binged: i can't really "binge" very often bc after a couple of hours i need a break, so i guess i'd say the tgcf donghua on netflix since it was short enough to get through all in one go

when you created your blog: in 2012 i stopped lurking so i could post about the avengers movie

the last thing you googled: 5'4" in cm? lol before that it was chinese wrapped street food

other blogs: everything is here! i discovered i compartmentalize about as well as i tag reliably (😓) but i do have several automated ao3feed-tag style sideblogs. and i did, very briefly, have a *winces* hockey sideblog too

why i chose my url: ooh i know i've done this before, sorry if it's repetitive, basically it was the username i picked back when my family first got aol: short, unique combo of letters - 14-year-old me really thought about it! and then it wouldn't let me use anything other than my name. thirty-some-odd years later, trying to come up with a livejournal username that wasn't already taken and getting fed up, i plugged it in and went: good enough!

how many people are you following: like 760-something last i checked? although many, many, many of them are deactivated

how many followers do you have: idk i don't like looking at that stuff, but way fewer than i am following

average hours of sleep: it varies too much day by day, my sleep schedule is too wonky, i have no idea what the average would be

lucky numbers: 7? cliché i know, and again not really buying into it, but somewhere in my hindbrain i like it that my first, middle, and last names all have seven letters

instruments: none. i like singing

what i'm currently wearing: giant black t-shirt and baggy black drawstring shorts, standard sitting around the house gear

dream job: don't have one. if i did it would give me something to be working towards *sigh* this is how you end up in retail for decades, kids! but also, to quote a random post i saw in true tumblr fashion "i simply do not dream of labor"

dream trip: covered this one before but: back to the uk and some railway daytrips, or a really fancy northern cruise, atlantic/pacific either one

fave food: uhhh, don't really have a favorite but i'm almost always in the mood for pizza

top three fictional universe you'd like to live in: none really, if i had to still be me..maybe some kind of actually utopian future? but the pandemic has confirmed for me that i do NOT like living in interesting times, so most fictional story universes are RIGHT out. my favorites to read about like discworld or diana wynne jones' worlds would be way to chaotic for my comfort. possibly diane duane's young wizards universe would be safe enough to be okay?

Part II

last song: watching center stage made me think of my dance playlist so sunrise by simply red

last movielast stream: i don't watch streams or youtube often, so it was the same as you, vish! liu chang's birthday stream was SO enjoyable i screenrecorded the entire thing just so i could play it back (and maybe gif sometime if i ever get the drive to actually do it)

currently reading: well i just finished the translated quan qiu gao kao or global university entrance exam novel, which was sparked purely from catching a single rec post here on tumblr and basically just *falling* into this 166 chapter epic that is *amazing* and not coming up for air until i got to the end, which is typical novel-reading behavior for me (yes i was the kid who read through lunch period and got hassled by people who kept pestering me with "what're you reading" questions and yes i realize probably a lot of you on tumblr were too) plus, the new murderbot novel is out tomorrow!!!!! so that'll be where i end up next!

currently watching: the entire dmbj verse (that i can get my hands on) but ... sporadically and stopping at random different parts because the thing is ... this type of show is not really the kind i enjoy so much? so since it's more for "research" and learning character arcs (and let's be honest: shots of liu sang), etc. it's easy to get distracted by other stuff. i'm also watching the sleuth of the ming dynasty, mr queen, bromance, the expanse, re-watching farscape and stargate sg-1, just finished the falcon and the winter soldier, and then anytime something new and short gets introduced it jumps the queue. there are just. so. many. things. to. watch! (now i have to look into anti-fraud league too!? you all are cruel ...)

what is antipoetry to you: i ... don't really think much about poetry? i know what i prefer is usually the more basic rhymed kind like lewis carroll, emily dickinson, poe, coleridge, etc. so i suppose i don't have much use for classifying non-rhyming verse? i can appreciate stuff like rupi kaur which i guess would qualify? or that william carlos williams plums poem? but it doesn't really stick with me the way lyric-like verse does

currently craving: i never know what exactly this is meant to be in reference to ... hmmm, i would love a new high-concept, high production-quality movie like say, pacific rim, to be released, just for that massive, excited energy that comes with something new that hasn't already got tons of disappointing or conflicting history behind it - that would be so fun!!

other than that, right now, i mostly kinda want some fried fish? but that will have to wait until i go to get my second vaccine shot on wednesday since it's on the way there. i'd also like my internal body parts to settle down and fly right but it's been more than a month and they don't seem inclined :(((( maybe once i'm fully vaxxed i'll think about consulting somebody about it

tagging @foxofninetales @xia-xueyi @momosandlemonsoda @memorydragon @thewindsofsong @elvencantation @mylastbraincql @hesayshesgotboyfriend @aurawolfgirl2000 @smaragdine-galaxy and anyone who wants to! but never feel obligated and if you don't get around to it for like half a year that's totally fine, i am still interested!!!

[rallamajoop]

So, I've spent the last couple of months getting myself hooked on the Witcher franchise.

Believe me, no-one is more surprised than I am – especially when I made it through The Witcher 3: The Wild Hunt mostly on the strength of the gameplay, but largely underwhelmed by the plot.

So you can imagine my surprise when I gave the Blood and Wine expansion a chance, and it hooked me, grabbed me right in the id and delivered on almost everything the base game lacked. I fell for Regis, I agonised over the endings, I have a million theories about the villains, I just... yes.

And then I tried the novels, and my god, I think I may love them even more than Blood and Wine.... but let’s start back at the beginning.

Up until earlier this year, I knew The Witcher mostly as that game that infamously gave you collectible cards for getting all the female NPCs to sleep with you – not a great first impression. I tried the Netflix series, but bounced off it quickly. And then youtube randomly recommended me Joseph Anderson's  ridiculously long videos analysing the first two games... and found myself intrigued. The complex morality, twisted fairy tale mythology, the promise of decisions with real consequences and sidequests that only deepened the world and themes... that could actually be worth a play. Nothing may have come of this, but then The Witcher 3 was on sale on Steam, and I thought, what the hell?

Over 100 hours of gameplay later, I came away disappointed. Witcher 3 may have something to recommend everywhere except its overarching plot, which... honestly, just calling it a “plot” may be giving it too much credit, when so much of the main quest feel like meaningless fetch quests for NPCs who may be able to help you find some other NPC who can tell you about the real plot, which is mostly happening to other people. Very little can really change or build organically (tension included) since the open-world structure means the player may be doing it in any order. Then, at the end, you fight a generic dark-elf final boss, who’s had less presence or dialogue than many NPCs you can meet in in utterly optional side quests, then you avert the apocalypse somehow – which I knew might be imminent mostly because it kept coming up on the loading screens (you know, between other such sage advice as "sorceresses are infertile" and "Geralt can use his crossbow underwater"). How do you fill a game up with so much unnecessary padding and still leave the core conflict feeling so underdeveloped?

Don’t get me wrong: there is some amazing material scattered through various subplots along the way, but the setup and payoff in this thing is a disaster.

Still, the Steam sale had included the game’s two expansion packs, and the core gameplay was addictive enough that I gave them a chance – starting with Blood and Wine – and fell head over heels in love.

Everything about the expansion benefits from its smaller scope, delivering something shorter and tighter, with some great twists and surprises, no clear villain, and some truly agonising decisions towards the end once you realise you're not going to be able to save everyone. While the main game left me going eh, whatever, maybe I’ll youtube the other endings at some point, hardly I finished Blood and Wine once before I was reloading a save from the last obvious decision point and replaying the final chapter again (twice, in the same evening) because I so desperately wanted to see what else could have happened. Plus, Blood and Wine included Regis (Geralt's ridiculously mild-mannered uber-powerful-vampire BFF), whom I adored, and whose presence works wonders to tie the story and the mythology together.

(No, he doesn’t look like much, but his voice actor is perfect and his attitude to life and his friendship with Geralt only got me more the longer I spent with him.)

The base game’s inability to pull its plot together was all the greater shame considering how many genuinely brilliant characters you meet along the way (YENNEFER! Dijkstra, Thaler, Phillipa, the Bloody Baron, the Crones – the list goes on), but there were none I fell for the way I fell for Regis (and yes, I ship him with Geralt something awful, so help me).

(If you're curious, I found the a lot of the same strengths in the other expansion pack, Hearts of Stone, but felt it ended weakly, and was frustrated by how hard it pushed Geralt to romance Shani, who did nothing for me. Look, game, my Geralt already has Yennefer and his vampire boyfriend, there is no room for Shani in his busy schedule!)

Curious about the backstory (though certainly also tempted by the promise of more Regis), I gave the novels a try... and fell in love all over again. The first book (by far the weakest) is a bit of an introductory hurdle, but the second quickly sucked me in with its wit and humour, then ended with a series of magnificent gut-punches that ensured I was well and truly hooked – and hooked I remained, through the five more novels that followed.

This is not a series I can say much more about without also telling you how the ending broke my heart – suffice to say that it's not for nothing that so few of Geralt's companions from the last three books ever appear in the games, or that the world thinks Geralt and Yennefer are dead before Witcher 1 (they aren't, even ignoring the games, but whether they ever see Ciri or any of their surviving friends again is left hanging). But the games, for all their flaws, certainly do their bit to offer happier endings, and having got this far, I found myself almost immediately buying that one last prequel novel I'd skipped (Season of Storms), because I just wanted to spent more time in this world, with these characters (even knowing so many faves from the later novels wouldn't be present). And I think that's the sincerest rec I can give the series: I earnestly cannot remember the last time any fantasy novel series sucked me in nearly so hard. I’m left comparing its characters and world-building to Discworld, and that’s about as high as my literary compliments go.

I could ramble on for ages about everything that does and doesn't work about the games, and their convoluted relationship with their source material (so much of the story is woefully under-explained without the books as context, so much expands on leftover plot points that the books never properly resolved – while so much more contradicts the books in wildly irreconcilable ways). I have as much to say about all the great and fascinating things in the books that didn't make it into the games. And I probably will at some point, given what an absolute sucker I am for all that kind of analysis, but that's fodder for other posts (and competing for priority with half a dozen different Geralt/Regis fic I seem to have already started. Or possibly Geralt/Yennefer, or Geralt/Yennefer/Regis, or even Geralt/Dandelion – look, dude is shippable, I don’t know what to tell you).

In the meantime... I may have already started rereading the novels from the beginning again. And Blood and Wine ain’t gonna replay itself.

[rigelmejo]

Idk if anyone’s studying French but googling Merlin saison 1, buffy contre les vampires saison 1, dailymotion will be there for u with the whole show dubbed (which is good listening practice for my ass that can read ok but barely follow listening)

Also any French show recs? Particularly modern fantasy or sci fi? Or detective/mystery?

—

On the Listening Reading Method front i have HIT A SWEET SPOT. FINALLY. Months of trying and I found a way to do it more conveniently and in a way much more doable if you like me cannot fucking focus for long periods.

Step 1: read the chapter in a language you fully understand (or some chapters ahead so you don’t have to do this as much later, or the whole book). Aka read in your native language (or a language you understand well) to get context. This is L1 language. You don’t have to do this if it’s a book you already read once and remember well, and you don’t have to do this right before you do the rest (if you can remember the overall context you’re good even if there’s a month between this and the other steps etc).

This is obviously tolerant of breaks - read however you like, just get some context.

Step 2: listen to target language (L2) audiobook, while following target language (L2) text.

Ideally, this is where you might read it in the target language if you can keep up with the audio. If you are reading digitally then a quick popup dictionary will benefit you (if you want to comprehend what text you’re following along and need the dictionary). Alternatively if you have a parallel text next to each other - that also helps if you want to look up a word. But word lookup isn’t necessary.

I’ve been doing this either in Pleco - just clicking a word as desired, or by looking at an online parallel text (bilinguis.com works amazing). Both of these options work very easily IF YOU GET AUDIO THAT MATCHES TEXT. The key here is FIND MATCHING AUDIO AND TEXT.

I can’t emphasize how much easier Listening Reading Method is when the text and audio MATCH. Mine FINALLY match and it makes my life so much fucking easier.

Ideally if these match you will find this much easier: audio starts and ends at same time chapter text starts and ends (seriously this is the biggest thing). The audio ideally does not shorten/omit sections of text (however you can adapt if it’s only small changes like a few missing sentences/changed phrases in a while chapter). The text is the same as the audio generally (not edited text - I tried to use the print text guardian with the audiobook based on the webnovel and wayyy too many sections were different it was too hard to follow). If you can find a source where everything (except maybe a few sentences/phrases) are the same, it will be much easier. It will be so easy you can start and pause whenever you want - breaking L R into 5-10 minute chunks if you like me can’t fucking do something too long without breaks. If the text and audio match very well, it is much easier to just pause the audio, notice the place u left the text, and come back to it.

Step 3: follow along with your L1 text (native language/language you understand) while trying to understand the L2 target language audio.

How to make this easier: if you have Pleco, simply click the dictate text button. It will popup every definition as it reads it. I actually find I practice LISTENING skills more when during this step I don’t look at the Chinese text much (because when I look at the Chinese I start tuning out the audio more). I have noticed I can often predict what the word means before I actually see a definition. Also in Pleco since it’s word by word, you don’t spend time figuring out the place in the English text the audio corresponds to - the audio dictation tool highlights the Chinese it’s reading constantly. For me, constantly following along to the Chinese text (or French if doing it for french) makes this step much easier. Alternately: use a parallel text, and glance at L2 target language text whenever you get lost/it gets hard to follow where you’re at. Simply having the target language L2 to refer to makes it so much easier to NOT get lost when listening.

Tools that make L R easier:

Literally look up on YouTube “audio target-language” and “target-language text.” Do it. Make your life easier! There’s a lot of them on YouTube that have for example both Chinese and English text on screen, Chinese audio. All of the work is done for you - you don’t have to keep your place in a text, you can pause and continue whenever! Even if you can just find target language audio-text, makes life much easier that someone else set it up for you.

Also japanese audiobooks sometimes have auto captions which are decent enough.

If you’re doing a Chinese book, get on ximayala app you might find well a matching audiobook. Youtube may also have a decent audiobook (also try bilibili i just found an unofficial 天涯客 audiobook - also tbh sometimes with Chinese the unofficial audiobooks will match chapter beginning/ends better than official ones but it depends).

For text, try bilinguis.com. While the selection of stories is small, they have very convienient parallel texts (which makes keeping yourself from getting lost easier). I was easily able to find audiobooks on YouTube or ximayala that would match the bilinguis texts.

Bidireader, a tool I linked the other day, can generate parallel texts if you can copy paste the texts in. Again, makes it so much easier to not have to focus so hard if you have a parallel text and can glance at the target language to keep yourself from getting lost.

Screen Reader tools - if you have a phone/computer, you may have a screen reader tool to read audio on screen aloud. Not ideal, but will work if you just want some audio practice with text you see and can’t get an audiobook to match it! Also Idiom app can read text aloud.

I mentioned above - I just use Pleco app dictation to do step 3, so that’s my step 3 audio. It’s not as good as the audiobook! But for quickly giving me a chance to match audio to definition, it works fine. Sort of like using a textbook with very stilted audio/just a pronunciation guide (Pleco), and a natural audiobook. It works fine. If you can find a parallel text, you can technically just do some computer generated audio (Idiom app, Pleco, Screen Reader, etc) and look at the L1 language for step 3 (if you absolutely can’t find an audiobook that you like that matches and want to use that text).

—

Notes:

Native audiobooks do sound so much better than generated audio, so if you CAN use them, do. At least for step 2 I think (target language audio with target language text).

Bilinguis.com has nice free parallel texts, YouTube has some perfect premade videos to do L R, Pleco can do step 3 in a pinch (if you can’t find a parallel text). Bidireader tool allows you to make parallel texts.

I find I actually find step 2 THEN step 3, as originally intended, helps me most? I’ve tried it both orders.

When I do step 2 first I practice extensive reading since I don’t look words up generally, I practice listening to audio in the bg so I can skim ahead and skim backwards (so training myself to pay partial attention to listening). I get an overall context for the story (I pick up most of what’s going on), I work on speeding up my reading speed (I need to keep up with audio, and often I’ll read a little ahead of the audio). I like it a lot - it’s like regular extensive reading, but I get some sound reinforcement. And I can look up a handful of words if I want. And I’m forced to CONTINUE so I don’t read too slow. (However - regular extensive reading has its place, I have more time in regular extensive reading to figure out new Hanzi and sayings and remember them).

When I do step 3 LAST I find that because I already know most of the chapter (since in step 2 I followed almost everything), I can focus all of my attention into listening. I really hear what words are being said (especially since I just practiced listening once before in step 2). Especially doing it in Pleco, where the English popup definitions show up and disappear so FAST, I really rely on my ears most. Especially when I barely look at the Chinese - because the English shows up so fast and isn’t always the best definition, so I mostly am following based on my listening skills. Also it means in step 3 since I’m comfortable with the main plot, and sound, I can focus my attention on really looking at the new words I want to learn. 插 缩 宿舍楼 权利 were some words I could focus on last time, actually listening to their pronunciation better. Etc. So I do think... for me doing it as actual step 3 when doing it this specific way seems to help more. That way step 2 is mostly reading and sentence flow when listening, and step 3 is more time for new word focus and listening skills in general. Also I find the word-reinforcement I get in the next chapters step 2 anyway.

I’ve done 5 chapters of Guardian in 2 days (so yeah I’d say this way of L R is easier for me to do lol!). 1 chapter of Alice in wonderland in chinese (again bilinguis with a good audio from ximayala worked perfect), 1 chapter from a YouTube premade video. I do think in some ways step 2 actually helps me the most (reading wise, and maybe even over all?). I find there’s definitely value in me doing step 2 on its own, even if I don’t do any of the other steps.

I find the L R combo steps have already helped my listening skills this small amount I’ve done. Which is kinda shocking to me tbh. When I did the Alice in wonderland chinese chapter, first I just listened to the audio in the background. I could follow all of it about Alice’s sister reading, her following a rabbit and falling, her picking up a jar and setting it on another shelf as she fell, without any text to look at. I think part of it is simply Alice in wonderland has more short words I know and less descriptive words I do Not know compared to Guardian. And I have prior context for what happens in the chapter. Still. I found it much easier to catch some details since last time I tried. So I’m going to keep doing L R while I feel like it, see if it helps any more.

[asteroiideae]

3 and 7 for the three songs ask meme!

oh no these are such good ones!!!! okay, lets see:

three songs you were recently obsessed with

COME BACK HOME by ONEUS; this song like, came out of nowhere as a rec from @kirkwallsquad and now I can’t stop listening to it and it’s super unfortunate, someone come save me from this hell okay please, I’m begging.

The Killing Kind by Marianas Trench; I’m a couple of years late to this one, rip. Still, it’s a song that I love, love, love to sing along to and it really pushes my vocal range which is always a party. This is 10/10 the song I put on every playlist and then bitch about having to stop whatever I’m doing and sing whenever it comes on. (Could I just stop adding it to playlists? Yes. Will I? No.)

Who Are You, Really? by Mikky Ekko; newly re-obsessed thanks to an excellent Oikawa AMV so I am once again blaming @kirkwallsquad for this one, since I’m in Haikyuu hell purely on their influence. Also the lyrics are very intense on a deceptively mild song, and it’s deeply upsetting to me and also deeply addictive.

three songs you didn’t expect to like but eventually loved

 HALA HALA by ATEEZ; tfw you’re bored on Christmas Day and youtube randomly recs a live performance from a kpop boy band and you historically Don’t Go Here but this song and performance were actually incredible so you spend the next two weeks crawling into their discography??? Honestly I could have put pretty much any of their songs in this spot and been accurate, but HALA HALA is probably my absolute favorite of their songs so here we are.

Diane by Cam; having a song suggested to me as a sort-of belated response to Jolene by My One True Queen Dolly is a really tall order, and I was skeptical as hell when I listened to this song. But honestly, Cam’s voice is SO gorgeous, and I WOULD sell various internal organs to see her and Dolly perform together, and would sell all of them to see them perform Jolene + Diane together back-to-back. Honestly it’s REALLY good, it’s got that same storyteller quality that Dolly’s songs are known for, aka The Good Country That We All Secretly Love.

This Is a Warning + Courtesy Call by Thousand Foot Krutch; I don’t think it’s cheating to put these together, since the first one is really just an extended intro for the second? This one’s maybe a little bit cheating in general though, since my surprise has less to do with the song/genre/rec than with the fact that most of the bands I listened to in high school (read: Christian Rock) have become nearly triggering for me in the last decade or so as I uhhh sort through my religious trauma rip. So when I came across this one in yet another AMV (listen 2020 has been A Time and I didn’t expect to crawl back into anime either but here we are), I was very surprised??? But it turns out this band has also grown and their more recent music isn’t...maybe it’s still not Great because that whole genre suffers imo, but it doesn’t trigger me anymore and I actually really liked this song for the character it was chosen for sooooo here we are? /shrug

THANK YOU FOR ASKING THOUGH, I do enjoy these, and it’s been a hot minute since I have! Here’s the ask post in case anyone else wants to prompt me to ramble about music? (Though I’ll warn you there’s a few on here that are straight-up unapplicable to my aroace ass so...lol either don’t pick those or be prepared for me to turn it into a joke?)

[lydia-yougowith-stiles]

My Top Ships 2018

I really enjoyed writing this article last year. So here we go again. Check out my favorite ships from movies and TV this year. 

12. The Goldbergs-Erica and Geoff

The Goldbergs has been one of my favorite sitcoms for a couple of years now and I have loved watching the development of Erica and Geoff’s relationship from a simple high school crush, to Erica discovering her feelings, to them now in the current season feeling like an old married couple at times. While they may still have their ups and downs I love how they are always there for one another and they are just adorable. Hope they’re in it for the long run like Geoff assumes they will be!

11. Throne of Glass-Chaol and Celaena 

At the beginning of 2018 I started reading Sarah J. Maas’ fantasy novel Throne of Glass. Instantly I could see the love triangle emerge between the assassin Celaena, the crown prince Dorian and the head of the king’s guard Chaol. While book one looked more like Celaena and Dorian would be together I always held out hope for the latter. And then I read Crown of Midnight! That book was one of my overall favorites and I got to watch this relationship form. It was beautiful and then everything blew up. I started the third book in the series and was instantly disappointed because it felt like an entirely new series. So while I have stopped reading it since then Chaol and Celaena will forever be one of my favorite ships. 

10. Supergirl-Kara and Mon-El

Mon-El returned to Supergirl last season and while Karamel was apart for the majority of the season viewers got to see a more mature Mon-El. There has always been much debate over his character as well as his relationship with Kara, but I have always been a fan of the Daxamite. In this season he returned to the present from the future where he was a part of the Legion of Superheroes and he was married. Kara, still recovering from the aftermath of season two, was thrilled to see him, but much had changed. While moments of this season were aggravating the two still had some great chemistry on screen. It was still very clear of their feelings for one another, but yet again Mon-El had to leave. This time taking Winn with him (which is a rant for another day). So while they might not have a future this is another ship that will always be one of my favorites. 

9. Victoria-Lord Alfred and Drummond

This ship instantly pulled my heart strings and ultimately (SPOILER ALERT) crushed my soul. Lord Alfred and Edward Drummond’s relationship started in season one of Victoria, but truly got its own story line in season 2. As expected in this masterpiece drama there were twists and turns that kept this couple part. Given the time period two men could not be together and Drummond was engaged to be married to a woman. But what none of us saw coming was his death. I still cannot believe it. He will be truly missed in the newest season which will air in the new year. 

8. Anne with an E-Anne and Gilbert

Netflix’s Anne with an E returned with a second season this year and we were blessed with more Shirbert moments between Anne Shirley and Gilbert Blythe. While the beginning of this season saw Gilbert at sea (going off from L.M. Montgomery’s novel), there were still some great moments between the two characters from Anne writing him letters about the “gold,” to Gilbert not noticing her hair and letting her know it was good to see her. And who could forget this important moment (above) from the finale. Fortunately for us the series has just gotten picked up for a third season. I cannot wait to see what’s in store next!

7. Daredevil-Matt and Karen

While against popular ships I found myself shipping Matt Murdock and Karen Page hard as I began season 1 of Daredevil this past spring. In season 1 I took every moment I could get between the two of them and then I was a little too excited when they got “together” in season 2. While it didn’t end well for the two of them there were some really great moments I find myself reliving on YouTube. I have not watched season 3 yet (mainly because I want to continue to watch the Marvel Netflix shows in order and I have only just finished The Defenders). With the recent news of the show being cancelled I can only hope these two end on good terms. (Even if it is not romantically as I may hope. Please no spoilers.)

6. Set it Up-Harper and Charlie

This romantic comedy quickly made its way into my heart and into my top 10 favorite movies (I KNOW). This is all thanks to its lead characters Harper and Charlie. These two assistants were witty, relatable and just had an overall great chemistry that I am upset they are not together in real life. I have honestly watched this movie far too many times and each time my love for this ship gets stronger. I feel like the movie ends too quick because I want to know more about what happens to them. It might ruin it but would it be too much to ask for a sequel, Netflix?? 

5. Legacies-All of them

Okay, so by saying ALL OF THEM I don’t think I’m necessarily cheating. This show is still in its beginning and still establishing itself. They are still finding their ships and we are discovering the characters. But I have to say I like so many of them that it’s hard to choose just one pairing. Julie Plec has done a FANTASTIC job of having a lot of her major cast interact with one another and they each bring out something different in one another’s characters. One day I’m shipping Hope and Josie and the next I like Hope and Raphael. You can really tell good writing and characters when you can like so many different combinations and not feel mad about it. If you aren’t watching Legacies make sure to tune into the CW because you are missing out. 

4. The Originals-Klaus and Caroline

Yes, you did see this ship on my list from last year and that is because Klaus and Caroline are one of my top OTPs. I was excited to see Klaus on the Vampire Diaries so it is no surprise that I was beyond excited to hear of Caroline coming to the Originals in its final season. It was great to see the pair in the same room again. They were both parents now and had grown so much. Every time they recognized that in each other I got chills. So [SPOILER ALERT] while Klaus “had to die” I am extremely glad that he and Caroline got closure for their ship. In a way they were endgame and as a Klaroline fan, always and forever, that’s all a girl could ask for. 

3. Dawson’s Creek-Pacey and Joey

Dawson’s Creek was my summer binge this year. I wanted something “retro” that was just about regular teens (no superhero powers or magic). Going into this show I obviously knew a good amount of spoilers seeing as how it started in the late 90s, so I knew that Pacey Witter and Joey Potter would eventually become a couple. I now just had to wait for the when...and while at times it might have felt excruciating, I took any and all moments between the two characters (even before season 3 when things really get set into motion). There is just something so great about a ship between two characters who “hated” each others guts and tease each other constantly. It was well worth the wait because these two have become one of my favorite all time ships. While I am permanently paused on season four (pre their first break up) I have watched a bunch of spoiler videos to know that these two wind up together, which warms the heart. 

2. Brooklyn Nine-Nine-Amy and Jake

While looking for a new TV show to watch earlier this year it was suggested to watch Brooklyn Nine-Nine. (Only once I started binge-watching the show did it get cancelled and then thankfully renewed by NBC.) What a great choice it was to start watching this show. The void that was left by The Office and Parks and Rec was instantly filled by this sitcom. The characters and story-lines were hilarious and of course I couldn’t help but fall in love with the slow-burn of Amy and Jake. Again due to spoilers of coming into a show that already exists I knew the two would wind up together, but it was still so great to be a part of. The two are adorable and while the story line does not always revolve around their relationship you know they are still together by a quick line they say in a scene or two. They are just so right for each other. Right now I am catching up on season 5 (about mid-way right now) and I cannot wait to watch the next season premiering in January. So excited to see where their relationship is headed.

AND NUMBER 1 FOR 2018 GOES TO.....

1. THE 100-Bellamy and Clarke 

That’s right last year’s number 2 became my number 1 in 2018! While separated for 6 years with Clarke on the ground and Bellamy in the sky the two found their way back to one another. You could definitely feel the tension between the two, which made complete sense after all their time apart but there was still something that brought them back together. My heart still melts when Bellamy finds out that Clarke is alive from Madi and seeing Clarke’s face when Bellamy tells Diyoza that she matters. This ship is the slowest burn of my life and while Jason Rothenberg may still claim that the two will never be (and that we should read the books for that) this latest season gave us Bellarke fans a reason to hope. From Octavia calling out Bellamy’s feelings and saving the traitor who he loves (OMG) to Clarke’s looks every time Bellamy and Echo were embracing. They are the first two to wake up out of the pods and meet Harper and Monty’s son. They are deeply connected and I can only hope for moments like this next season. For now I’ll just re-watch my favorite to hold me over (and that includes Bob and Eliza’s SDCC interviews which were adorable). 

 Here’s to another year. Cannot wait to see what is in store for 2019!!

[daggerandrose]

I can’t believe it already November 28th, this month has gone by so quickly! Here are some of the Famous/Non-Famous AUs I’ve read! These are focusing more on Famous H/Non-Famous L. I’ll definitely do a part 2 where it’s Famous L/Non-Famous H.

As always, make sure to leave a nice comment for the authors and leave a kudos!

Whirlwind, 21k, by @haydolce 

AU. Acclaimed actor, Hollywood heartthrob, and Oscar nominee, Harry Styles, seems to have the world at his feet, but seeks out an old friend when he needs a date for his big night.

lock me up with love, 29k, by @liltinylouis

“So you must go out more often than I thought,” Harry said. “I see you all the time now!”

“Well, one of those times you literally came to my door.”

Harry laughed, a loud honking sound, a shock to Louis’ ears. He couldn’t remember the last time he made someone laugh, not so easily and genuine.

Harry didn’t seem embarrassed, but his eyes were hazy, hair a bit mussed up, cheeks red. Oh. He was drunk, or tipsy maybe. That explained a lot.

“That’s true,” he said, then frowned. “Oh no, do I seem like a stalker?”

“Eh,” Louis said, “just a little bit.”

Louis had a messed-up knee, ruined career, and labradoodle to take care of. Harry had a normal knee, perfect career, and concern for his recluse neighbor. Harry's baking skills were enough to bring them together.

When It’s Late At Night, 25k, @all-these-larrythings

Louis has zero interest in an ex-boybander turned solo artist when his appearance on the show gets announced, but that's exactly who he gets stuck with when Harry Styles shows up at the Late Late show to promote the release of his debut album. For an entire fucking week.

Or

The Late Late prompt that we all need to get through this excruciatingly hard time.

‘Til I Tasted You, 14k, by @icanhazzalou

Louis is Harry Styles' biggest fan. It doesn't matter that Harry is famous for being a food blogger and Louis can't cook to save his life.

At least, until Harry offers to give Louis a cooking lesson. Then it matters just a teensy bit.

tangled up in you, 45k, by @missandrogyny

Harry blinks once. And blinks again. And says, his voice dangerous: “Niall, did you get me a mail-order bride?”

Because what the actual fuck. It kind of looks like Niall’s just purchased a person. For Harry.

Niall blinks back at him for a few moments, before throwing his head back and howling with laughter. Harry throws a pillow at him. Hard. “No, what the fuck, Harry.”

“A prostitute then?” Harry also doesn't want a prostitute.

“Of course not!”

“A stripper?”

“No!”

Damn, he’s running out of ideas. He settles for launching another pillow at Niall’s head. Niall bats it away easily, still laughing. “Stop!”

“What did you get me, then?!” Niall must hear the tinge of hysteria in his voice, because he’s pulling himself together, trying to stop himself from laughing.

There’s still a big grin on his face, though, when he says, “I got you a professional cuddler.”

A professional…what. “What?”

Something Great, 31k, by @infinitelymint

In which a coincidence, instagram, a party, a piano and a planned coming out all come together to make two people fall in love. As it happens, it turns out to be a rather effective combination.

or, Louis is a student and Harry is the mega-famous singer that happens to post a photo with Louis in the background. Together they kind of break the internet.

Rise up like the sun, 41k, by @tommosgun

“I wasn't taking a sneaky pic.” Louis blurted out, the guy stood at one of the urinals taking a piss. “You were.” The guy answered coolly. “I would've taken a pic with you if you'd just asked.” “No I didn't want a pic with you.” The guy turned his head, quirking his eyebrow sardonically. “No you're far too cool for that, you just wanted to violate my privacy.” Louis squeezed his eyes shut. “I'm sorry. Look..” He walked towards the guy flicking his phone out. “Hey.” The guy hunched over, hiding his junk. “Oh no no, I wasn't gonna take a pic. Fuck.” Louis threw his hands up, stopping in his tracks. “Look I'm going to show you I'm deleting it.” Louis turned his phone and the pic disappeared. “You looked familiar, I was going to send it to my friend and ask who you were, I'm sorry, dick move.” Louis sighed, smiling apologetically. The guy zipped and walked to the basin. “So you invade my privacy then insult my level of fame by pretending to not know who I am.” The guy was turned away from Louis. “Look I'm...shit.” Louis inhaled noisily. The guy turned, a grin spread over his face. “I'm fucking with you.”

Not Quite, 34k, by @lads-laddylads

Niall gives Harry an exasperated look, nodding slowly. “Okay...so do you want to explain why we’re hiring Louis? And do you want to explain it without making any mention of his soft hair or ample buttocks?”

As Harry prepares for the premiere of his first blockbuster film, his manager encourages him to hire a bodyguard as a precautionary measure. Harry ends up making an unusual choice.

24K Magic, 32k @justalittlelouislove

“I know, I bet you want an autograph.”

An...what? Louis’ jaw drops open, actually hangs open, as he gapes at him in absolute and utter disbelief. Right here, on a Friday night in London, Louis has happened upon the biggest douchebag in the history of the world. Surely he should contact someone. A record-keeping organisation or something.

“You think I want an autograph,” Louis repeats slowly. Maybe if the guy hears the words back clearly enough he’ll comprehend the level of asshole he’s throwing out into the universe.

It doesn’t work, Mr. Douchebag of the Century just smirks and leans into Louis’ space, well more into his space, “Mmhmm, we’ll have to go up to my Penthouse. That’s where I keep my pens.”

or

A fic based on 24k Magic by Bruno Mars, in which Harry's a mess and famous, Louis is a mess and not, Liam and Zayn are probably hiding something, and Niall is a horrible flatmate.

Kiss Me With Adventure (”Til I Forget My Name), 31k, by summer_roses

Harry is the big new thing in the music industry and in a mad search to find a makeup artist before his first ever world tour kicks off. Louis is an internet famous beauty guru/YouTuber who drinks too much tea and a habit of cursing excessively. When a fan tweets Harry the link to Louis' YouTuber channel it starts something neither of them could have ever imagined.

**

Based on the prompt: Harry's the biggest indie star in the music industry and just as his first world tour starts his makeup artist leaves. Harry's team is frantically searching for a new one but they can't seem to get a hold of one Harry actually likes?? Cue Harry, alone in his apartment a week before tour, he sees a tweet from a fan saying that "this is my favorite youtuber!! blah blah", Harry clicks it and there's youtuber!Louis who //conveniently// is also a beauty guru. Harry thinks he's cute n stuff but he also wants him on his team and all that.

Is This Seat Taken, 35k, by lainy122

A borrowed suit from Zayn, a cigarette and the right attitude, and Louis went from security breach to misplaced celebrity instantly. He could practically see the wheels in the security guy’s head switch from ‘could be dangerous’ to ‘could get me fired’. L.A was so predictable.

Louis makes a bet with Zayn that he can sneak into a music awards event without getting caught, and when he ends up posing as a seat-filling member of staff he runs into superstar Harry Styles and sparks fly. Que the music.

Tis the Season for...Love?, 27k, by @alarriefantasy

Prompt: Harry seems to have it all: A successful career as a pastry chef, a Victorian home in London, and a dedicated boyfriend who he's been with for years. One day he stops by his boyfriend's apartment to surprise him and finds out that he's not so dedicated to Harry after all. Shocked and too depressed to celebrate, he decides to skip Christmas and on a whim leaves on a plane to New York. In New York he meets Louis…

Or...Louis might just be what Harry's needed all along.

A Pleasant Side to You, 8k, by @smrwine

Louis brought his palms up to his temples, easing the roaring headache that was quickly developing beneath his skull. His entire day spent half dressed out in the sun was all leading up to this show, and hearing their new songs, and being twenty feet away from his only teenage heartthrob and coming of age inspiration. It had been nearly a decade since he saw them perform live, and this was something he was genuinely looking forward to. Louis shook his head and cringed inward at his disappointment.

“Well who’s replacing them, then? They were the headliners.”

“I dunno,” Nick said with a fleeting hand movement. “Some bloke named Harry Styles.” or Louis ends his summer with a festival and a man whois almost too good to be true.

One Week, Eight Hours, 3k, by daggerinrose

Louis doesn’t have a reason to hate Harry Styles (which, to be fair, is a reason of its own.)

or: a production assistant with no experience in front of a camera interviews a rockstar with old shoes and a distasteful attitude.

Please let me know if there’s anymore recs you have! Happy 28th!

[gayasinstupidpodcast]

What’s up gamers!!! Our fourth episode plowed through the chaos of thanksgiving holidays and is Here w/ some Facts and Opinions about creating shit and being LGBT and how being LGBT influences creating shit. HEADS UP we recorded this while I had a cold so my voice is probably a little off, but ik Isaac put SO much work into the editing so it would be ready on time and we have recorded statements from some amazing artists (transcriptions under the cut below!) & this is honestly one of my favorite episodes we’ve done so far, so give her a listen if you’re gay or enjoy fun things!

BIG thank you once again to everyone who participated in this month’s episode!! Your contributions are so valued and so beautiful!!

You can find us on the Itunes Podcast App/Webpage at Gay As In Stupid Podcast! You can also find our episodes uploaded to Youtube and Soundcloud!

You can also follow us on twitter at gayasinstupid!

Further Reading on LGBT Artists

Montage of a Queering Deferred: Memory, Ownership, and Archival Silencing in the Rhetorical Biography of Langston Hughes

The Political Provocations of Keith Haring 

Pop art politics: Activism of Keith Haring 

E M Forster’s Gay Fiction

Alok Vaid-Menon Tells Us What It’s Like To Be Femme In Public

Shea Diamond Speaks Her Truth

Aaron’s 2018 November Recs!

Alok Alok Vaid-Menon is one of my favorite poet/activist/performance artists out there! Their writing and stage presence is gorgeous and witty in a way that’s SO clever and still feels like you’re in a room trading jokes you don’t need to explain with your closest trans friends. The way they balance their art creates a real, deeply touching experience that feels very essential to our world.

Miles (2016) Miles is set in 1999 and is a coming of age story about a gay teenager trying to get a volleyball scholarship for college in Chicago. It’s not revolutionary and it’s not over the top dramatic, but it’s funny and honest and it makes me feel nice. Definitely the movie to watch when you’ve just been through something emotionally taxing and need a light crying session and some mediocre pastries.

Isaac’s 2018 November Recs!

The Adventure Zone I know half of you already kin the Mcelroys while the other half either don’t know or don’t care, but the Adventure Zone is one of my most favorite things in the world. It’s a DND podcast (yes, all episodes are transcribed, and they have a graphic novel for the first arc of Balance with a second one on the way!) by three brothers plus their dad, and not only does it have the most amazing story and is ungodly funny, but TONS of gays (Griffin went ape with those Lesbian NPCS)! And just because they can! Same with trans characters. It’s a story where they just exist, and that’s really important to me because in a lot of media LGBT have to almost prove why they deserve to take up space. And it’s not just something that goes on in their first campaign, Amnesty also has those sweet sweet gay! I could talk about this podcast for hours, so if you needed that final push to give it a listen, THIS IS IT!

Stardew Valley You get to farm and be gay. And if THAT hasn’t sold you on this charming video game, then maybe the super cute graphics, beautiful soundtrack and a handful of interesting characters will! TBH I spend so much time playing this game it’s concerning. It’s just such a fun way to relax, and I just really REALLY like video games were I can chose to be gay. Like. God Tier. YOU CAN HAVE CROPS AND CHICKENS AND BE GAY C’MON YALL!!

The Amazing Quotes And Artists Featured!

Meg | instagram | esty

“My identity as a bisexual woman influences my art in many ways. As a woman, i create art about the issues that effect me, such as abortion and gender equality, in order to resonate with the people that matter most to me. As a bisexual individual, my subjects often appear from a gaze that falls outside of the stereotypical eye. My figure drawings and portraits all come from a place of admiration, and don’t fall into the stereotype of the male gaze or womanly care- they are the space inbetween, equally sexualized and normalized. I feel lucky to be a bi gal in the art world because it is a place that is my own to create in. There are so many queer artists that i look up to such as Mapplethorpe and Warhol, and many female artists i can cite as influence (Jenny Holzer, Kiki Smith, and Louise Bourgeois to name a few). My identity gives me a whole new world of content to draw from and allows my work to resonate with a wider audience, and I really think that any artists goal is to reach and touch as many people as possible.“  

Cameron | twitter | instagram 

“I don’t think that it influences the form really, but it definitely influences the subject matter! (Much as I hate to admit it, my identity influences the majority of choices I make in life.) I write a lot of poems about lgbtq related things and religion, as well as other stuff too. I was raised catholic, so realizing that I was “different” at more than one point in my teen years was scary AF. Being a member of the lgbtq+ community and also trying to still feel like I belong, or wanting to, in a religious community is hard, the two things are usually at a crossroads in my life so writing about them makes it easier for me to get through. My hope is that someday someone reads what I wrote and finds some peace in their own life/experience.” 

Vince | art instagram

“Well, being transgender I feel like I’m constantly aware of the lack of representation of my community, and I feel like it might be because of that I tend to experiment with showing all sorts of different type of people in my work. Because there’s so much diversity in the world, why not showcase that?”

Fox | art instagram  

“Oof…I’m gay so my characters always be gay. Gotta Fill the void in media w my own bullshit so I don’t have to rely on straight showrunners who will inevitably discard the character since they themselves seem to have no personal attachment and treat lgbt characters as disposable extras. Bc if I don’t at least attempt to create representation in the field I’m going into then I can’t rlly complain about the lack of it right? If I don’t try and change it I can’t complain about the lack of change so being an lgbt artist is lowkey Big Pressure to be revolutionary in your work but sometime…..I just wanna draw funkey animeal and that’s aight too”

Jen | twitter | instagram

“As a female bisexual poet, I worry often that my poetry and art will be too niche to be appreciated. I’ve spent years editing my poetry down to its barest bones in hopes that someone will relate to it. Changing pronouns back and forth because I worry that if I do talk about a woman, the poem will be stripped of its context and suddenly be about my queerness when in reality it never was. When I write about love and people I have dated and have crushed on, I want the poem to exist outside of the gender of who I love. I fear my authorial death will result in a complete misinterpretation of what I mean. When I write, it truly does not matter to me if I am writing about a woman or a man. If I feel what I write and I can make someone else feel it too does it matter that I also love women? I write what matters to me overall, regardless of gender, I try to make my poetry as true as possible. Sometimes, when I catch myself over editing I try to take myself back to the moment, to the person, what I loved about him or her. “

Lain | art instagram

“My LGBT Identity has significantly impacted almost all of my art, especially my work over the last two years. Ever since I have allowed myself to accept that I am trans and began my transition (6 months on T!), the impact that my Roman Catholic upbringing has had on my bisexual trans identity has bled into my artwork. Because of the way I was raised, accepting and allowing myself to be authentic has been an upward struggle. And what better way to process and document struggle than art?  

Much of my recent work has had a focus on the trans body, particularly the “sanctity” of self-actualization and the god-like power that comes with accepting and creating yourself in the unique and exceptional way that LGBT people must in order to live authentically. Two of my pieces on this topic were actually recently exhibited at UWM in the Trans-lucent exhibition, and will remain there until December 15th (I think). I got sick and tired of never seeing trans representation, so now I am creating that space that I crave in my own work.”

Kobe | instagram | soundcloud

“My art from is very influenced by my LGBT identity. It is very influenced by my LGBT black Identity. I think that whenever an artist makes their art (in my case writing music, singing, dancing) they should incorporate as much of themselves as possible. I think my LGBT identity definitely adds a sense of representation as well. I want people like me to listen to my music to know they aren’t alone. So it influences my work a lot. “

Nat | art instagram

“I think the fact that I am part of the LGBT+ community influences my art directly. Even though I don’t draw as often as I wish, I believe both my drawings and college projects (I am a 3d art/animation student), and my creativity in general is inspired by my personal experiences as a gay woman and common things experienced by the community. I try as often as I can to bring representation of some kind in the things I do, mainly personal projects. I also feel that it influences me on my motivation to keep creating; whenever I listen to, see drawings, watch movies or see whatever form of artistic expression from LGBT+ artists it gives me the energy to keep going, to keep creating.”

[justasmallbloginabigklainefandom]

Rec This Thing: Interactive Introverts

Interactive Introverts in Amsterdam RAI, evening show on June 2nd

Story: Dan and Phil decided to give the people what they want.

My Story: Okay, fun fact, I bought my ticket on June 1st. When they first announced their tour, my friend Sammy immediately bought tickets for her and her sister and she asked me to come along.

I declined.

After all, I wasn’t that big of a fan of Dan and Phil and I decided that people who are actual fans of them could have my possible ticket. Fast forward a couple of weeks and I became fan of them and both shows were sold out. Yup. Bummer. Instant regret. Total sadness. So Sammy promised to tell me everything yada yada since I couldn’t go. Then just over 24 hours before the show, Sammy sent me a message that there were five seats left for €55.

Crap.

Okay, I decided to do it. Fuck work the day after. Let’s go. And boy, am I glad I did.

Rating (1 to 10): 9

Why?: QUITE DETAILED SHOW SUMMARY UNDER CUT, SPOILERS!

Alright, yup, I’m just going to write down everything, including the entire show. Or at least what I remember cause holla, this is done from memory.

Basically, we arrived in Amsterdam after a lot of panic because my bus didn’t drive so we were about to miss our train. I ran back home and yelled to mum to grab the car (called Snuit) cause HOLY FUCK MY BUS IS 6 MINUTES LATE AND WITH THE NEXT BUS I WILL MISS MY TRAIN FOR SURE.

But okay, Amsterdam. We got there around four? First we checked out the venue, which wasn’t hard to find because their matinee show had just ended, so we just had to follow the stream of fans who were leaving, and then we had dinner at this Japanese place. Then around 18:30 we were back at the venue. Only VIP was allowed to go in already, so we decided to buy merch. The place was packed, so they decided to already open the merch stand. Good thing we got merch (I got a poster) before the show, because other merch was sold during intermission and after the show. Almost no one got merch during intermission, because it was only 20 minutes long, and after the show the line was insane. Probably 2,5+ hours wait time.

We found our seats. We got split up. Sammy and her sister had a great seat (row 9) and I sat on the other side of the theatre in a balcony seat which was fucking great as well. They put on Dan’s playlist and that playlist was banging. Sometimes, Dan’s Siri interrupted. I mean, they were playing Hard Times when I entered the theatre- great start. 

And of course they came on stage after Welcome To The Black Parade.

First we had a video kinda introducing danis not on fire and AmazingPhil and then they came in on a moving plaform. Like, their set was so minimalistic but also so great?

After the “Hello! Hi!” stuff they talked about being in Amsterdam (”Amsterdamn” - Phil) and how Phil is feeling a bit sick because he decided to eat tons of stroopwafels (strupwaffles, they called it). Dan called him out, because when you buy a pack of stroopwafels, they are obviously not supposed to be eaten at the same time.

Oh, and those poor foreigners aren’t used to shit ton of bikes in Amsterdam (or in the entire Netherlands tbh) so they were talking about how they almost got killed by bikers while crossing the road. 

They were obviously telling us what to expect and all of that.

Then first, What are we not going to do. They acted out everything they were not going to do. I only remember the erotic roleplay, because they did cop roleplay and it was fucking hilarious (”Please be gentle with those handcuffs, I have sensitive skin” - Dan), and the part where they dressed up as their cute pastel versions.

Truth Bombs came next. Phil got asked something among the lines of: “What Olympic sport would Phil excel in?”

Keeping houseplants alive

I forgot.

SPORTS??? LMFAO!

(If anyone’s reading this… if you happen to know the missing parts cause you were at the same show, hit me up.)

Phil said something about how avoiding bikes in Amsterdam is a sport and then he procceeded to jump over the small hexagon on stage. He chose the houseplants.

Dan’s question was: “What is in Dan’s browser history?” 

Fursuits (I think???)

I also forgot.

Something with Shrek 

Which was ironic, because Shrek the Musical played at the RAI. I don’t remember what Dan chose.

Then, “How will they die?” 

Demonetization

They fall off stage in a few minutes

I forgot….

Honestly, they kept talking about demonetization during the entire show. Every time they said something too raunchy, they’d say something like “We’re getting demonetized.”

I think the Simulator came next? Anyway Phil started out with ordering a unicorn frappuchino and he ended up being killed by Satan cause he tried make a deal with him to restore his twitter account after accidentally posting a sexy photo of himself in his pants. We cheered for Satan, and they kept reminding us of that during the entire show. 

Dan was outside for once and got approached by a furry, did body shots of an otter, and ended up dying in an underground furry rave after he decided to use the ladies’ restroom.

After that, Phil synced us all as Linda, so hooray, we were all Linda. Now as Linda, we could continue to the magic trick and the audience participation. What is hidden in the mysterious box that Dan hid under his bed? Our three answers were: cereal, a panda, a fursuit. 

I still don’t know how they did this trick. The box was unopened on stage all the time. Sammy and I first came up with this special electronic paper, but then we realised Phil gave it to audience members to rip it up and fight about it.

I only remember three questions asked during the Survey. There was apart about their favourite content and Dan was very happy to present it as a pie chart. Also “Do you think you know Dan and Phil?”

Yes

No

Who is Dan and Phil?

After joking about how all the parents answered the last answer, they noticed a small percent still answered no, and they talked about authenticity on YouTube and sure, they put themselves out there because they want to entertain people, but that they are still genuinely themselves and that they’re not faking it. But if you wanted to see the non-entertaining version of them, you’d be bored. (”On my sofa, with an overheated laptop on my crotch and a bag of crisps under my chin and me trying to eat them with my tongue cause I’m lazy” - Dan).

Then, of course the “Dan or Phil?” question and they presented the wheel and they made the most dramatic act one exit I’ve ever seen, and I am a Broadway fan.

During intermission, the two women next to me were talking about merch and I told them where to find it. Then I exited the theatre. Sammy’s sister bought Pringles and I bought M&Ms and the three of us were kinda shocked to see the queue for the merch stand. Those poor fuckers.

We went back to the theatre and I talked about the merch again, because I happened to know the whole merch stand and its prices by heart after looking at it for 45 minutes (hoodie €40, sweater €30, wristband €5, poster €10, Dan and Phil plushies €25, denim jacket €65, two t-shirts €20 and €25, keycord or whatever it is called €10, cap €15, woops I still know it).

Back to the show! Phil was on the wheel and Dan used a slingshot, a bow and arrow, and a bazooka. And afterwards Phil was showing off his ass while taking off that white body suit. He said he was dizzy and Dan dared him to jump over the hexagon again, but Phil refused.

Okay anyway the next thing I remember is the wholesome Daniel and X-Rated Lester part (”I’m already feeling naughty” - Phil). In the beginning they had this whole talk about authenticity and how they are still humans bla which was really cool. Since I am a recent fan, I completely missed the actual wholesome Daniel craze, but yeah, they talked about how they are actual people and sometimes, they don’t meet certain expectations of fans.

Also, at one point in the show, Dan was talking about God and he yelled “Spite me, daddy!” and I think it was around this moment. The entire crowd yelled.

Alright Dan had to sweet talk disturbing fan fiction, Hello Internet, and another thing uuuuhm. I don’t remember. Anyway, he kept saying “Oh for God’s sake!”, especially at the Hello Internet one.

Phil had to bad mouth cute animals, endless kittens (he failed), and ugh I have also forgotten his last one. The person who sent in cute animals sat in front of me and it was just absolutely amazing to see how happy she was to see her submission on screen.

Then the Dan vs. Phil friendship game. There was a lot of stuff, but I remember some. I can’t believe they shocked each other, but maybe that is because I’d read the Milgram Experminent earlier that week.

First, psychic connection. They both had to name the same number between 1 to 20 and they failed. 

Then a dilemma. Dan got the dilemma: “Guest star in Infinity War 4 or Phil gets thrown in a pool of cheese?”

Phil had to choose between: “A billion dollars or Dan will never be able to see dogs again?” According to Phil, he’d buy two big airplanes and then merge them together for an ever bigger airplane.

Then the Dan or Phil or Rat. They both got it right. Phil just got a photo of something white, but he guessed that it was his own pale skin and Dan got some hairs and he guessed that it was a rat.

Trivia. Dan needed to name 3 pre-2008 Phil videos and succeeded. Dan thanked Phil for uploading his newest video about his his old deleted stuff. Phil needed to recall the kind of cake that Colin ruined and failed.

There was probably more to Dan vs. Phil but I am blanking. Phil got the big shock (”I’m Phil trash no. 1!″ - Dan).

Then the intimate moment. Or personal. Phil called it intimate and Dan just went “PERSONAL? DON’T CALL IT INTIMATE, IT’S PERSONAL” and then proceeded to point out that Phil has a degree in English language.

It was just so down to earth. There were three questions, and I remember two. The first person asked for an appropriate name for their zoo animal YouTube channel. I forgot the name they recommended, but they said it was great that this person had a clear theme.

I remember one person saying that she wants to be a singer but her parents want her to go into medicine and well first they were like “hey singing doctor!”. But they talked about how passion is important and how they both didn’t do what was expected and how they are much happier now (“Lawyer Dan is as awful as a singing doctor!” - Dan) but I unfortunately forgot the other two questions. It was just a really nice moment where both Dan and Phil just sat down to have a chat. Oh and they also talked about Phil’s apparent awful handwriting.

Then the power came back on and I think that is when the Awards happened? Glitter jackets af and a self-made statue (”Two naked men in bondage really represents Dan and Phil” - Phil, or something like that.)

The first category was: Best dressed pet as Dan and Phil.

A lizard wearing a flower crown while watching the video of Black Parade won.

A cat wearing Dan’s merch.

I don’t even know but it looked like Dan was riding Phil so that was that. I suppose it was a dog.

And then Most inaccurate expectation of the show

I fucking forgot first place.

Two hour long Hamilton reenaction with Chris Evans.

Them giving birth on stage.

Also the most annoyed parent was just incredibly funny. I remember the winners but hey I don’t feel comfortable just sharing their names cause… privacy. I know the winner sat on the second row and all kids were pointing at her and I guess Dan and Phil saw her and said: “This was probably the worst day of your life, thank you for sharing it with us!” “You probably thought you were seeing Shrek the Musical.”

And then back to the scripted part, aka the Big Finale. A dog video that has nothing to do with the show, PHIL’S DISS TRACK, Dan at the piano, and them singing a duet. This ain’t Broadway, but it was still kinda nice and just sweet.

And well, that is it. They runned around on stage, waving at everyone, saying goodbye. Then they stepped on their moving platform and they disappeared.

Some random things:

Phil kept calling a part of the set a “flap” which annoyed Dan.

Dan… just… couldn’t… stop… dabbing…

They hinted at a new gaming video that involves a lot of Dan’s screaming - coming next week.

So many pride flags in the crowd.

Phil and Dan sounds wrong.

There was one moment where a picture of Dan’s had pasted on a horse from My Horse Prince appeared with a text bulb saying “Ride me, senpai” but I don’t remember when that happened. I think before the Simulator?

Interactive Introverts kind of reminded me of Hedwig and the Angry Inch. There’s clearly a format and a script, but thanks to audience participation, no shows are the same.

But in all seriousness, as my friend Rowan @rothetree pointed out, the entire message of this show was about how Dan and Phil are just human. As Ro put it: “On a serious note, there’s a whole underlying theme to this show, which was them basically going “Hey, we’re real people, stop objectifying us"”. This felt so in line with what the three of us were talking about. Me, Sammy and Sammy’s sister had to endure a two hour train ride and we talked a lot about fandom’s perception on real life people they stan and how they sometimes reduce those people to the image they have in their minds.

Cause we were talking about stuff like real life shipping, and about how celebrities are being seen, and how the moment they do something the fans don’t like, you get all those moments of “X is not real anymore!”

Newsflash asshole, they are people with feelings, and just because you don’t want to see those feelings, doesn’t mean they don’t have them. For example, Sammy was talking about how one K-POP star basically got stalked at an airport and when he clearly showed his dislike of it, people were all “OH MY GOD HE DOESN’T LIKE HIS FANS HE IS SO RUDE HE’S NOT WHO WE THOUGHT HE WAS” and I gave the example of people saying Darren is “no longer himself” after he called out the people who are seriously threatening his fiancée and all that stuff.

Before the show started, we overheard two other fans talking about how they should come out bla bla bla, and just… no? That is so personal and we are not entitled to that at all? 

To quote Ghostly, they are not our dolls. We can’t dress them up in whatever way we want.

I recently read I Was Born For This by Alice Oseman, which follows a band from the fans’ POV and through the band’s POV and how sometimes those things clash, and I feel like with Interactive Introverts, Dan and Phil wanted to show people who they are to avoid a clash like that. That’s why they kept talking about how they value authenticity, while they are aware of the fact that they are also putting on a show. Or how, when people have certain images of them, how unrealistic those images can be and that they cannot live up to the expectations, and therefore it is important for fans to realise that. The tagline is: “Giving the people what they want!” and they did that without having to change for the fans’ sake.

As Rowan (rothetree, not Rowan from the book I Was Born For This) said: "we don’t own their image or expect too much from them. Something about their interactions with us is changing in a really good way."

Because that exactly.

Since I am a recent fan and I got my ticket one day before the show, I wasn’t aware of the questions, but in the “Do you think you know Dan or Phil?” (as they said: or do you think we’re people putting up a whole show) I would’ve answered a solid “no”, because I always think it’s dangerous to say that you know a celebrity, but after this show, I’d vote “yes”, because the way they acted on stage and the way they conveyed their message of “yes, we’re putting on a show right now because we want to entertain you guys, but we still care about authenticity” was well done.

And that is what made this show so great and enjoyable. Yes, it was a show and there were scripted parts, but it was still very genuine.

Recommend?: Yes, please, just like TATINOF, put it online for sale!

[peaches-of-1]

Training: Lip in Hip

This is a short fun piece I’ve been thinking about doing for a while. I started writing this when I had been watching lots of dance covers of people doing “Hip and Lip” by Hyuna.

Training Masterlist

You thought about it and asked if they’d be up for a K-pop in Public sort of thing even though you knew it’d be dangerous because fans. Jin echoed your thoughts.

You looked at your computer screen and changed tabs to YouTube which was playing in the background. There were several that came to mind that you sort of knew the moves to already, but you’d be nervous to ask for a few of them. Biting your lip, you replied that you would tell them when they got home.

Then they reminded you that they’d be in a different city overnight because of their packed schedule. Right. You sighed and then they floodded you with messages not to be sad and that they’d be home soon. You smiled.

“I love you guys. I’ll just send you video links then.” You smiled fondly at your phone screen. “Fuck, I gotta go grocery shopping.”

For the first time in what seemed a while, you really loved your life. It was perfect for you. Your wildest dreams had come true and more. Thinking about it, Taehyung was probably busy getting ready for the vacation. The one in the states. According to the planner, it would take 120 days including proper rest and wiggle room if anything went awry.

[Jimin’s 🔴REC]

White noise. Nothing to see yet. Ok, human noise but still no faces.

“-HUT UP!! I’M LIVE!!!”

Noise settles and the cutest mochi shows up on screen.

“So,” Jimin says with a mouthful of teriyaki noodles. “Our friend, (Y/N), wants to do a K-pop in Public challenge. She’s probably not watching, so I can talk about this--”

“Don’t talk about it!” The scolding voice of Jin comes from offscreen. “You know how she likes to lurk. Also, they’ll probably message her telling her about it.”

Jimin sighs, “You’re right. Ok, so I’ll talk about these noodles instead. They’re so good! I wasn’t sure if I was going to like them because the restaurant said they were using a new sauce, but it’s good. I might order some more.”

The camera turns onto Jin with crumbs all over his face, “Wot?”

“How’s the food?” Laughter.

Their phones went off and it was the group chat. You had sent links to the three songs you wanted to do in the order of most to least. They laughed and covered their mouths, nearly choking.

“Do you see this?” Hobi asked. “She wants to do these dances? Oh my god. Can we even--”

He suddenly remembers they are live and starts laughing. Hobi stands and gets close to the camera, “That’s a surprise for you, so I can’t talk about it here. Mwah” And he went into a different room to call (Y/N).

Jimin smiles and pushes back his hair, “You’re gonna like this once we have it figured out. How about we answer some questions?”

He smiles and waits for a good one to come up.

[Later...]

Jimin is in bed . Sideways. It’s no longer live but his video diary of sorts.

“I know I’m not supposed to say this, but I’m so glad (Y/N) is in our lives. She’s such a lovely human being. Always there for us and a great heart.” He sighs. “I love her. Like, not just regular love, but I would marry her if I could. She probably doesn’t want someone like me, not forever. There are things you don’t know about me that she does.”

Like, the fact that he was a Little. The fact that he was a bottom was only speculation in the fandom, and they didn’t know the true extent.

He looks behind him and then back at the camera, “When she went away, I couldn’t stop crying. I didn’t know why, but now I do. I love her and she left. I love her so much. I only want what’s best for her. When she came back, it was like a miracle. Sorry if I made any of you jealous by holding her in public and stuff. I just thought that if I let go, then she’d leave again.”

He sneezed.

“Excuse me.”

Hoseok came out of the bathroom in his teal silk pajamas, “Your turn Jiminie. Are you recording again?”

“Yeah, I’m almost done, though.”

“Ok.”

Jimin looks back at the lens. “I’m gonna go get clean. I’ll see you all later!”

You were so happy when the boys came back home. Jin kissed your cheek and said he loved the photos of you with Yeontan. Namjoon made sure you did all the chores on the list he had left. Yoongi pet your head before he plopped on the couch. Taehyung picked up his Tannie and went to the fridge. Hoseok hugged you and said he missed you. Kookie kissed your lips and asked Tae if there was any sparkling water. Jimin was last, and he held your hand and led you to the couch.

They wanted to say something. You knew this because they were out and didn’t go directly to their rooms. Tae said he’d see us later because he only had time for a 30 minute nap before heading back out, and he was gonna take it.

“Well?”

Jungkook spoke up first, “So, we learned the dances we wanted to do. We all want to do the first one. Jin, Hoseok, and I wanna do the second one. The rest wanna do the other.”

You tilted your head, “That’s great news! Just, why do you sound like you’re leaving something out?”

No one answered. Taehyung came out, “They all wanna be the one you ride during ‘Hip & Lip’, and want you to decide since they’re huge babies.” And then he left again to his room.

“Bitch.” Hobi said under his breath and then talked to you, “It’s obviously me, right? I mean, c’mon.”

They started to bicker among themselves. Jin and Namjoon just looked at each other and shook their heads. You pressed your pointer fingers together, “Actually, I wanted it to be Jin if you’re into it?”

He popped up and grabbed both of your hands, “Are you sure? Oh my gosh!”

Yoongi broke his stoicness, “I’m happy for you, I really am, but why him?”

You stood up and rubbed his back and shoulders, “He’s a broad boy, and me likey the support.”

Hoseok spoke up, “But wouldn’t someone with a thinner body work, though? He’s gotta get in and out pretty quickly just so that no one get in anybody’s way.”

Jin pouted, “Hobi, are you trying to mess this up for me by saying you’re the better person because I’m--”

“Sorry, hyung, for interrupting and saying that, but I’m just being honest. I’m not just saying me, I’m just saying for logic’s sake, someone that doesn’t have to make her spread her legs so much to let one of us...get...between them. I’m talking about dance, ok!”

“You sure are, Hobi.” Yoongi laughed and flashed a smile.

Namjoon spoke up, “He’s right, y’know. Everything should go as smoothly as possible. Also, are we gonna get other girls to join us or--”

“NO.” All the other guys said in unison, with so much power that it made Joonie take a step back.

“Well, no it is then, ddaeng!”

Jin went over to comfort him, and then all eyes turned back to you, waiting for you to choose one of them. Jeez. You really didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings or think it was a favoritism thing. Looking around you decided yes or no for the remaining options.

“Well, Jimin was usually getting ridden by me, and I don’t want you getting turned on in public. Hobi and Yoongi, you two might try something, so no way.” You looked between Namjoon and Jungkook. “Rock, paper, scissors. Best 2 out of three.”

They quickly turned to each other and did the game. Namjoon won twice, and so he was the one getting ridden when they did the dance. Everyone watched the dance practice video on TV tracking and picking their parts. Some of the moves they had done variations of, so they knew it’d be pretty easy to learn.

Their schedules were pretty light, so for the next two weeks, the seven of you focused on learning the dance. It was Taehyung that came up with showing up at random spots where busking was popular and do it there. Daytime so that it’d be easier to escape afterwards. You pouted since you wanted to do at least one at night.

You guys would do it twice a day at random spots, busking or not. That’s what was decided in the end in order to protect the boys...and you. The way the manager said it made it seem like you weren’t as important, which you knew you weren’t in the grand scheme of things. Not in the same way.

They all gathered around you and said that they loved you, giving that manager a glare. You giggled, actually believing that they did. If not, you wouldn’t have been here now. And so you guys filmed yourselves performing it for an impromptu Bangtan Bomb that went up at midnight.

At the end, a black screen comes up with a list of times. It was when you were going to perform to get some hype. #BangtanList was trending within an hour, and you went to bed cuddling a frustrated Jimin. He had made a pretty big mess up during an interview today and had been beating himself up for it. All the other guys noticed, but he didn’t really say anything except screaming your name as soon as he got home.

He just wanted to be held, and your arms were always opened.

Times Square Mall, 10am. You guys had to do the first one pretty early and before lunch so that you could eat straight after making your getaway. The boys were in face masks. The mall would play the song over the speakers. You got ready and performed with the boys, smiles in your eyes. Sexy face on.

Bodyguards made sure everyone was far enough back for you guys to move as the crowd started recording and smiling. Some even cried upon seeing most of Bangtan in person. When it was over, a hole was made in the crowd and you all ran to the van that was waiting for you all outside. #LiptanSonyeonHip started going around along with #BangtanList now.

Fantaken recordings and pictures started to circulate. There was a day that Taehyung could join you guys, and he was so glad. Namjoon let him be the one between your legs for those performances. It went well. Not too many mobs were caused even when you did show up to busking events.

Sometimes you’d bump into one of the guys on accident, or they’d run into you and you would just smile and laugh it off. There was even one day when you traded spots with Namjoon. Well, actually, Namjoon was too shy to do that part, and so Jimin did it instead.

The last time was midnight. It was as if everyone in Korea had decided to be out and about in Seoul this time of night. It’s basically what had happened. Everyone wanted to see the boys perform with you and weren’t sure where you’d pop up. This time, it was a fan inclusive performance. Four girls had been chosen beforehand to be a part of this final showing, but they had to promise not to tell anyone where the boys were gonna be.

They didn’t, thank goodness. They’d have enough traffic and stuff with people trying to catch the 3 minute performance after their friends called and contacted them and with the quickness of social media updates.

So, when the performance happened, it was insanely fun. The girls didn’t fangirl too much and were able to do the dance without being too extra. They were also really good at what they did. Maybe they could join the boys and you on tour one day in the near future.

It was just insanely fun, and you guys were allowed to chill a bit after the performance. Which meant, you went home after getting enough takeout for a wedding reception and then have an amazing moonlit meal on the balcony and hang out in the jacuzzi. While you all ate, you looked at the photos and videos the fans had taken, retweeting and liking the ones that were your favorites.

You had all worn some type of light up piece of clothing. The boys had light up necklaces and glasses, with Taehyung and Hoseok also having light up shoes that they performed in. You had gotten to wear a light up fur jacket that you absolutely loved to pieces. Then you guys decided to go live as you all chilled for a moment.

“So, how’d you guys like our performances? It was cool, right?” Jungkook kicked his feet out.

Hoseok grinned and spoke with a full mouth, “It was (Y/N)’s idea. She wanted to do something big and fun with us since we’ve all been so busy lately.”

“But we’re going on a break soon before our next comeback.” Namjoon said. “An official announcment will be coming out soon. I can’t wait to see all of international fans.” He winked into the camera.

Jin added, “You guys are so bad at keeping secrets, I swear to God!”

Everyone laughed. Taehyung came into the room and told the guys to be quiet because you and Jimin had fallen asleep. The guys decided to come see how cute it was because it was two of the cutest members of their life fast asleep and cuddling on a couch. Both were in large sweaters and it was unclear if they were wearing shorts underneath. Jimin’s head rested on your chest while one of your hands were on his shoulder blades. It had fallen from smoothing his hair until he went to sleep.

“Awww. Cuteeee” Hoseok whispered.

The six boys returned to the other room to finish their live, answering questions until every other word became a yawn.

[wafflesandsyrup]

About Me~

“tagged” by @vontacompton.

My Last:

1: Drink: Water, but maybe wine by the time this post is through. 2: Phone Call: @catneepx, an angel. 3: Text Message: Mom! 4: Song You Listened To: “Doesn’t Remind Me” by Audioslave 5: Time You Cried: Like five minutes ago. Not even an exaggeration, I cry over everything, and it’s triggered by every emotion. This time it was because I watched The Iron Giant for the millionth time.

Have You Ever:

9: Lost Someone Special: Yeah boi 10: Been Depressed: Yeahhhhhh boiiiiii 11: Gotten Drunk And Thrown Up: Once! I can’t even think of drinking a gin and tonic anymore. But I took it like a champ. It was super funny then and now, lmao. 12: Three Favorite Colors: Red, Blue, and Gray/Black tbh

In The Last Year Have You:

13: Made New Friends: Yes! More before I moved, but I have made a handful of friends recently. 14: Fallen Out Of Love: Nope! 15: Laughed Until You Cried: Absolutely. 16: Found Out Someone Was Talking About You: lol yeah 17: Met Someone Who Changed You: I don’t think so! I’m usually who changes myself. I don’t think I have ever changed because of someone else. 18: Found Out Who Your Friends Are: For sure. I don’t tolerate disrespect or pettiness lmao 19: Kissed Someone On Your Facebook list: My husband, so yes! 20: How Many Of Your Facebook Friends Do You Know In Real Life: All of them, even if I knew them briefly. 21: Do You Have Any Pets: I have a dog! Back in MO, I have another dog and a cat, who I miss a shit ton. 22: Do You Want To Change Your Name: No, though it was hard to let go of my last name when I got married. I’ll always hyphenate it on unofficial documents lmfao. My new one is pretty unusual, though. 23: What Did You Do For Your Last Birthday: I made a booze cake and drank at home, since Brendan won’t be 21 until October and I had no other friends in WA lol. 24: What Time Did You wake Up: 9:30 25: What Were You Doing At Midnight Last Night: Playing Skyrim 26: Name Something You Can’t wait For: I can’t wait to visit home in July, for the short term, and I can’t wait to achieve my goal of being a forensic nurse. 27: When Was The Last Time You saw Your Mom: November. I miss her so much. I am her number one fan. I’ll talk about my mom to everyone, she’s so smart, funny and pretty! 28: What Are You Listening To Right Now: Chopin’s “Ballade No.1 in G minor, Op.23″-- I’m planning on learning this on the piano soon, and I grew especially attached to it after watching Your Lie in April tbh.  29: Have You Ever Talked To A Person Named Tom: Actually, no. 

General:

30: Something That Is Getting On Your Nerves: Boredom tbh, but that’s nothing new. My inability to relax, too! I just want restful sleep god dammit. 31: Most Visited Website: YouTube probs 32: Hair Color: Dirty blonde?? Light brown maybe?? some copper is in there too?????????? Idk anymore. 33: Long Or Short Hair: Short right now, though I want to have medium-length hair for a while before having long hair again.  34: Do You Have A Crush On Someone: I’m married, so I obviously do lmfao. 35: What Do You Like About Yourself: I like my personality-- I like making people laugh and how I look on the bright side of life (since I used to be a real big whiny pussybitch). 36: Piercings: Ears 37: Blood Type: Ok i’m gonna be fr I have no idea what my blood type is so if i need blood immediately i’m fucked 38: Nickname: Syrup! 39: Relationship Status: Married to my fav human. 40: Zodiac Sign: Capricorn 41: Pronouns: She/her 42: Favorite TV Show: the X-Files, though I also like Parks and Rec. 44: Right Or Left Handed: Right 45: Surgery: I got my tonsils removed as a kid (super shit) and my wisdom teeth removed (also suuuuuper shit). Once I am done losing weight, I’m going to have a breast reduction because this shit is out of control. 46: Sport: Softball/baseball 47: Vacation: I would like to visit Europe (particularly Ireland, England, Germany, and Italy) and Japan, China, and Korea. In the US I would like to visit each state at some point. 48: Pair of trainers/Sneakers or Tennis Shoes: I call them tennis shoes, and I have a nice black pair of running shoes which are super comfy.

More General:

49: Eating: an apple lol 50: Drinking: wine 51: I’m About To: fold laundry and play more Skyrim, probably, maybe, hopefully. 52: Waiting For: Death to Take Its Inevitable Toll on my Flesh Prison 53: Want: hugs, friends, to be able to eat like a fat piece of shit w/o being a fat piece of shit lmfao help 54: Get Married: check 55: Career: I want to be a forensic nurse. I love working with the human body, always have, and I have always been fascinated with the forensic industry. I’ve wanted to do something that makes me happy and does something to get justice for people who have been hurt, and the moment I decided upon this career path I felt like everything finally made sense. A huge weight left my shoulders, that’s for sure.

Which Is Better:

56: Hugs Or Kisses: Hugs! I love hugging. I hug everyone bc I have a lot of platonic love to give every single person. 57: Lips Or Eyes: yo’ peepers! 58: Shorter Or Taller: I’d say similar height or taller because I am incredibly short, but personality is what seals the deal for me in the end. 59: Older Or Younger: about the same age, give or take a year (since my husband is about a year younger than me), or older. I wouldn’t be able to stand someone all that much younger than me if we’re being honest here lmfao 60: Nice Arms Or Nice Stomach: Stomach?????? 61: Hook Up Or Relationship: Relationship, for the other person’s sake. I’m too much of a goof for hooking up and I’d make someone feel insecure for cracking a joke in the middle of some sort of sexual encounter. It is literally impossible for me to take sex seriously. Also, I just prefer the companionship part of relationships over the physical. 62: Troublemaker Or Hesitant: Troublemaker, but not like... a felon or anything. Just goofy, without shame, and kind of annoying. Like me. But being reasonable when appropriate is important, too.

Have You Ever:

63: Kissed A Stranger: Yeahhhhhhh, immediate regret (cigarette mouth!). 64: Drank Hard Liquor: ya 65: Lost Glasses/Contact Lenses: every gd day dawg. and it’s partially because in order to find my glasses I need my glasses to see them. 66: Turned Someone Down: hoooooooo boy, yes, yes, yes. 68: Broken Someones Heart: HOOOOOOOOO boy, yes. I was always caught off guard by it, because I never see someone as potential relationship material, but always as bff material, until they make it explicitly clear. It just wouldn’t feel right to assume they may have a thing for me. So, most of my friends in life have been guys, and I have had to deal with a lot of uncomfortable confessions and rejection from said pals. I hate hurting people, and they’re often very hurt by my rejection, and I end up losing friends over it. I don’t even like thinking about it lol. 69: Had Your Heart Broken: Yup! Abusively and tragically. Some Carrie shit, haha. It doesn’t impact me now, except for making me angry. 70: Been Arrested: I’m a straight edge dude. 71: Cried When Someone Died: Duh 72: Fallen For A Friend: I can’t fall for someone unless we are friends, so yes! Brendan was my BFF for a while until he told my oblivious ass he wanted to date me.

Do You Believe In:

73: Yourself: Yes! The only person you can always depend upon, no matter what, is yourself. 74: Miracles: hmmmm, maybe. I’ll say yes, but my skeptical mind will always question. 75: Love At First Sight: Attraction at first sight, maybe. I believe in friendship at first sight, if we’re being honest. I see someone and just get this feeling that we could be awesome friends. Love is something much more deep rooted for me. 76: Santa Claus: I believe in My Dad 78: Angels: I’m not sure. I’m open to the possibility, due to the limitations set by existing as a human, but I’m not Christian or anything. I feel like there’s “something” out there, but I’m just a dumb human and will likely never be able to know for sure. I think human beings can be deemed angels.

Other:

79: Current Best Friend’s Name: Casi/Stephanie (I love them both so much my dudes). 80: Eye Color: Green/Hazel (more green than hazel tho-- it’s really cool because i have a fleck of gold in one of my irises, and my grandma has the same fleck of gold) 81: Favorite Movie: I couldn’t narrow it down to one. I love the LOTR movies, The Sixth Sense, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Spirited Away, Saving Private Ryan...... the list goes on forever. My family has always been a big movie family.

im not tagging anyone lol

[hamlettell]

92 Truths!

Rules: once you have been tagged you are supposed to write 92 truths about yourself. at the end, choose 25 people to tag! Stolen from: @makumii​ (huzzah!) LAST… 1. drink: Plum tea 2. phone call:  Mi papa 3. text message: Either my brother or sister 4. song you listened to: Lana Del Rey - Love (someone recommended it, but i wasn’t a big fan??) 5. time you cried: They all blur together; it could’ve been yesterday, it could’ve been last week HAVE YOU EVER… 6. dated someone twice: Lmao, no and I don’t think I ever would. 7. been cheated on: No. 8. kissed someone and regretted it: Don’t think so? I kiss a lot of people; only dated one person, but i’ve kissed a lot of people. 9. lost someone special: Ehhhhh? *shrugs* 10. been depressed: Well, yeah, lmao, i have depression.  11. gotten drunk and thrown up: Noooooo. Don’t drink alcohol, kids, it’s gross. LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS: 12. Blue 13. Green 14. Purple (these are not in order)

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU… 15. made new friends: Hell yeah, boi 16. fallen out of love: No? Hard to fall out of love when you’ve never been in love 17. laughed until you cried: Yes! I love my friends!! 18. found out someone was talking about you: If they have, I don’t remember? 19. met someone who changed you: Yeah, but like, they are a shitty person and they’ve made me stand up for myself better because they were that gross 20. found out who your true friends are: Idk 21. kissed someone on your facebook list: Dude, so many. Again, I kiss a lot of people (though, not usually on the lips) GENERAL… 22. How many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: All of ‘em 23. Do you have any pets: No. I wish I could have a farm of just dogs tho. 24. Do you want to change your name: I like my first and last name, though I’m sure I’m gonna change my middle name. 25. What did you do for your last birthday: Nothing, which is what I wanted. My birthday parties throughout high school have given me some of the shittiest experiences, so I refuse to celebrate or even acknowldege my birthday at this point :l 26. What time did you wake up: 8:30AM 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: I have no clue. 28. Name something you cannot wait for: My audition for NKU and also for Gotham to finally freaking return. 29. When was the last time you saw your mother: Like 30 minutes ago 30. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: The sex I was born as. That is maybe the only thing. 31. What are you listening to right now: The quiet humming of my laptop fan. 32. Have you ever talked to a person named tom: Yeah, 3 actually. One’s real gross, the other one is funny, and the third one is a giant beefcake that can crush me at any moment, but he’s also my mentor kinda?? 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: My weight? Is that something that can get on someone’s nerves? 34. Most visited website: Tumblr, youtube, and gmail. 35. Elementary: Was pretty freaking chill. 36. High school: Really wasn’t that great, but I love my friends and teachers 37. College: I am currently loving everything about it! 38. Hair colour: Dark brown/black 39. Long or short hair: Short as hecko 40. Do you have a crush on someone: Besides the lovely actors and creators I know of, no! I don’t crush on someone very easily and atm, I don’t really care to. 41. What do you like about yourself? My eyes. I think that’s about it. 42. Piercings: Nooonono. I don’t like piercings on me. 43. Blood type: No heckin’ idea. 44. Nickname: Vinny >30 45. Relationship status: Single as heck *waves my finger guns around* 46. Zodiac sign: Cancer 47. Pronouns: He/Him 48. Fav tv show: Currently Gotham, but I absolutely love Brooklyn Nine-Nine, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Parks and Rec, and Community 49. Tattoos: Nah. They look p cool, but I’d never get one. 50. Right or left handed: Right FIRST… 51. surgery: Root canal. Mouth surgery hurts, don’t do it. 52. piercing: Don’t have one. 53. best friend: Every 54. sport: Tennis. I don’t play competitively anymore, but I still really like it! 55. vacation: I remember it being one to Arizona, I think? 56. pair of trainers: I have no fucking clue. RIGHT NOW… 57. eating: Nothing 58. drinking: My plum tea. I have a stomach ace. 59. i’m about to: Get ready for class 60. listening to: Nothing, but wasn’t this in a previous category?  61. waiting for: Uhhh??..???? 62. want: Cuddles and Kisses. Everyone come to my house and drop them off. 63. get married: No! Too much to do and I can’t waste time on something as time-consuming as a romantic relationship. 64. career: I am currently not working (other than doing some art to the side?), but I’m working to become either a journalist or actor (I’m majoring in both) WHICH IS BETTER… 65. hugs or kisses: DON’T MAKE ME CHOOSE!! 66. lips or eyes: They’re both nice, but I think eyes might win this one. 67. shorter or taller: I honestly don’t care. I’m pretty short myself. 68. older or younger: Not too picky about it, but I kind of prefer older rn (I’m 18 for god’s sake, i’m not going to date a high school kid) 69. romantic or spontaneous: Eh 70. nice arms or nice stomach: I don’t really care, but nice arms could pick me up 71. sensitive or loud: Either is fine 72. hook up or relationship: I’m ace, wtf am I gonna do with a hook-up. Cuddle once and then never speak to each other again? 73. troublemaker or hesitant: I don’t really care, but I’m a troublemaker, so I probably need someone who’s hesitant. HAVE YOU EVER… 74. kissed a stranger? No, but it sounds fun! 75. drank hard liquor? No. I don’t even like light liquor (if that’s what you call it?). 76. lost glasses/contact lenses? Contacts, yes. Glasses, no. 77. turned someone down: 3-5 times, maybe? The last one asked me out in a super gross, very inappropriate way. 78. sex on first date? Hell no, never. 79. broken someone’s heart? Don’t think I have. 80. had your own heart broken? Noooope.  81. been arrested? No and ples don’t arrest me. 82. cried when someone died? Yes. I am a giant crybaby. I cry when people I don’t know die. 83. fallen for a friend: Once, kind of. It was a relationship I was interested in, but I regret being curious about it because it only lasted for a month and a half. We’re still friends, but we should’ve just stayed as friends before then :L DO YOU BELIEVE IN… 84. yourself? Yeah, kind of 85. miracles? Nope 86. love at first sight? Lmao, absolutely not 87. santa claus? No and I never have! I was always told there wasn’t a Santa 88. kiss on the first date? If that’s what the person feels and wants, why not? 89. angels? Nope OTHER… 90. current best friend: everyone reading this, ur now my best friend 91. eye colour: Brown, bleeehh 92. favourite movie:  I’ve got a few. Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Hot Fuzz, Moana, Mulan, and some others, I just can’t think rn.

I tag: Everybody reading this. If you’ve read this, you’re obligated to do this!!